#the thought that my selfishness and arrogance was the catalyst that would lead to your death puts stones in my chest

[scarletviper]

The stress and grief we feel over losing a job we loved is only reminding me of my grief for my children. I miss training with my eldest, and i miss the laughter of my youngest as they play in the waters. I miss the reserved smile of my brother as he watches them play.

Do they remind him of me and elia at that age? He was a man grown by then. I admit i never once considered who i would leave behind if i died, i did not once consider that i would truly die. I knew logically my beloved ellaria would be inconsolable, but the pain and horror on her face when i watched my death on screen stabbed a hole through my heart. still yet i did not consider my brother in this, nor anyone else. A man who lost two siblings in infancy, who did not hope for elia to survive her premature birth because to hope is to be hurt, who then endured her death and the aftermath, including mine. The eldest of us all, yet the last one left. Our parents long gone, his offspring still but children. He was always calm, steady, like a rock in a stream. even when he was made angry, when he shouted, it was not with the same viciousness as other men.. I was selfish, and i took him and his counsel for granted.

[yanderetalk]

Writing 3D Characters + Narcissistic Characters

I’ll lead with the example of narcissistic yanderes. These fellas are real interesting ones.

Oftentimes they’re made to be arrogant, which—is reasonable, given the definition of a narcissist is a person who has an inflated sense of self importance.

However, I said narcissistic. Meaning, relating to a narcissist, but not quite one. Which, gives us a reasonable amount of wiggle room that allows for a good character.

“Arrogant,” as a personality trait isn’t interesting. Oftentimes, just picking out one personality trait and branching off of that to create a character isn’t a good idea, because that’s how you end up with stereotypes.

See, most people think like this:

narcissistic -> arrogant -> selfish -> mean.

Or something along the lines of that. Then they give the character a role that suits those traits. In this situation, the most common one would be “rich white boy.” A bit crude, yes, but it’s the honest truth. That’s how people connect the dots in their head.

Characters shouldn’t be like that. Why? Because people themselves are hypocritical. We’re contradictory, in the most horrible and wonderful ways.

A character being narcissistic doesn’t mean that it makes them unable to make friends, or interact. A narcissist doesn’t have to be rude.

You can think that your thought process, your interests, your interpretations of things are superior to others, while still being able to function like an ordinary human being—on the outside.

You can have friends. You can be amused by them, you can like them, you can have a good time with them—but that doesn’t mean you care about them.

It’s easy to separate yourself from everyone else. Scarily so.

In a story, a character like that would start to crumble. They’d begin to spiral, and just wouldn’t be able to claw their way back out.

See? Conflict. Normalcy, that eventually deteriorates into something less sane. But for that deterioration to happen, there has to be a catalyst.

What if, that narcissistic character we’ve been hypothetically discussing this entire time, wants a partner? An equal? Just one person, who matches their “superior” intellect or thought process. Or, really, just someone similar to them.

What if they meet that someone?

But what if things don’t work out? What if that someone, goes off with another person instead?

That’s your catalyst. Like dropping Mentos into an active volcano.

Intriguing, isn’t it?

I think that’s a good chunk of my thoughts on this matter. If you have any thoughts or questions, let me know.

[nemesis-nexus]

Full Pink Supermoon 2020

HAIL THE ANCIENT FAMILY, HEAR US! It never ceases to amaze me how much we take life and everything in it for granted. What is happening to the world now really should not come as any surprise considering that you can only kick a dog so many times before it jumps up and bites you! In this case the dog is Mother Nature and the bite is in the form of a very serious illness that has forced the human population into the very same form of isolation they have been forcing several other species such as the coyote, bear and wolf into in the sense that the humans are no longer able to go wherever and do whatever they want to because there is a predator on the loose that they can’t see that is threatening their existence! Somehow I don’t think they like the idea of being herded and corralled too much, but what is the likeliness that they’ll transfer this disruption to their lives and attribute it to how they treat the animal kingdom or the ecosystem in general?

I find it interesting that with the resurgence of Paganism and Heathenism that this catastrophic event is occurring now! I mean one (of several) things that we Pagans/Heathens are known for is respecting and coexisting with nature. I’m not saying that we are alone in this HOWEVER this is something we HAVE in fact been SLAUGHTERED for and accused of evil practices and what have you when ALL we were doing was acknowledging the Spirits that exist in all living things including the Earth, Air, Water and Fire and utilizing their properties as Nature intended, in medicines, hunting and religious/spiritual rituals and work! Never taking more than what was needed and ALWAYS replacing what was picked and using every last part of what was taken from the hunt! These are the things that were seriously discouraged against under the severely misguided assumption that everything here is ONLY here for the human race to use, abuse, deplete and destroy yet they can’t fathom how we got to where we are and of course there’s always the scapegoat, the excuse, the one that everyone hangs their hat on so as to avoid having to take responsibility for their actions because of course it’s never their fault!

Unfortunately for them they are going to have to own up to their responsibilities in the latest disaster that is plaguing and I do mean that quite literally plaguing this planet because I believe it's man-made in fact I know it's man-made there is ample proof of this being man-made but that's neither here nor there, the fact of the matter is we need to retrace every step that we have taken that led up to what's currently happening and the fact of the matter is what's going on is born out of indifference, greed, distrust, selfishness and arrogance! What makes me say this? Think about it, why would you mess with a biologic that you know is destructive on such a grand scale that you need to wear hazmat suits yourselves to handle it in a laboratory? What is the point or purpose of having such a biologic in the first place if not to unleash it on the masses to do the irreparable harm that it has done? What other possible motive could you have to engineer something like that and the response really is that there is no other reason why you would create something like this except to do the damage that has done! I am hoping that I am wrong and that this whole fiasco was a terrible mistake but you will have to excuse me if I, with everything else the human race has done, am having a VERY hard time believing this was an accident!

We can sit here and we can spit nails, we can light it up, we can do whatever but the reality is we are where we are right now and regardless of who's responsible and yes those who are directly responsible DO need to be brought to justice and be held accountable for what they allowed to happen! In the meantime we need to put our egos in our pockets and leave them at the door, we need to step back and say look we can't change what happened 6 months ago but we can work on what's happening now so that it's not still happening 6 months from now and if the one of the best ways to staunch the spread of the virus is to socially isolate ourselves then that's what we're going to have to do, it may be frustrating, but it won’t last forever!

For those of you who are Spiritual you know that even if you are away from the rest of the world that we are NOT alone we will always have our ancestors by our side, we will always have our Gods at the helm, we will always have our higher spiritual selves guiding us because at the end of the day that's really all we have - obviously besides the Earth and all the physical things - I'm talking about metaphysical and in these kinds of situations people need to rely on their faith, it is what will get us through even the hardest times. Our Ancestors are proof positive of this fact, it was their beliefs that saw them through some of the most arduous times of human history!

During this time of quarantine it is absolutely imperative that people remember that there are places without walls that do still exist and you can travel to them even while isolated. Again if one is Spiritual you know the physical is not the only realm we operate in and therefore not the only plane we exist on, some people are highly proficient at this and other who are just starting out not so much but Astral Projection is very useful, not just in times like these but during times of personal and Spiritual introspection and just to take Spiritual journey without leaving where you are physically. For those who are not familiar, Astral Projection is the art of being physically in on spot, for example sitting in your bedroom while allowing your Spirit or Soul to transcend your physical being and the physical world and go flying around the Astral Plane.

In other words the metaphysical version of our selves and the realm that exists all around us enables us to take a trip to the woods, take a walk on the beach, do whatever we need to do to get out of our own heads without ever leaving the house! Now like I said those who are not as experienced with using this particular practice may find it a little difficult at first, don’t be discouraged! We all start somewhere and the easiest way to start this is through your basic meditations; deep breathing exercises and an environment conducive to calmness and clarity. Once you setup your workspace, mind you this can be done in Darkness OR Light, it depends on what the individual is more comfortable with, I personally prefer the Darkness but that's just me.

Once you are all set up, sit there and try to relax, again if you're not used to this it might take a few attempts to relax, it may not happen right away but practice makes perfect so just keep at it and you will get it in your own time! Once you are ready close your eyes, breathe deep in through the nose, out through the mouth. Do this for maybe five minutes or however long it takes you to get relaxed and then in your mind envision where it is you want to go, you can just walk around or you can pick a very specific location, for example I love the Ocean! In my Heart I'm always on the beach anytime I get overly stressed or if I'm feeling particularly feisty or melancholy I’m down on the shoreline because the Water is a catalyst, it's also very representative of my Spiritual being in that you may know what I'm dealing with anytime depending on what the Water is doing; for example if the Water is crashing against the Seawall and flying over across the street, chances are I'm a little ticked off or going through a rough time and feeling a wee bit…Energetic… not necessarily in a good way but not necessarily in a bad way; if the Water is calm then I am feeling more contemplative and most likely lost in thought.

I love being on the beach during a Full Moon, gazing at the Moon Trail leading out to the Moon Pool is very alluring, I can't tell you how many times I’ve fantasized about following that trail right up to the pool, obvious problem is the pool is kind of sort of in the middle of the ocean and yeah undertow and riptides are a thing that oftentimes are quite dangerous. This is an example of the Balance that exists everywhere in Nature and why we need to keep alert ESPECIALLY when wandering around the Astral Plane. My point is that by allowing your Spirit to wander by allowing your Heart and your Mind to take flight you're not only alleviating the stress and the strain that you're under, you're also seeing the world through completely different eyes! You are seeing the world the way it was meant to be seen, through the Spiritual and maybe just maybe you'll see it is not necessarily a cage to be trapped, but a MULTIFACETED playground of sorts that adjoins all energy on every level of the Multiverse!

If you're from an inner-city and you're not able to get to a Forest or to the Ocean, it's very difficult it can be very Spiritually draining, but at the same time you have an environment that other people don't deal with and it is important that you stay in tune with it so that when you meet other people from around the world you can explain (not that you owe anyone an explanation) why you're not as able to relax as easily as they are being from a place that may be less volatile. One of the most consistent things that I get told when I talk to people about meditation is that they have a very hard time turning it off, meaning the voices in their head - no I'm not (necessarily) talking about schizophrenia, but generally loud and persistent thoughts. You know when you're going through a very stressful time and replaying the situation or situations depending on what's going on over and over and over again it can be very hard to turn it off.

A great example of this is where a person is located; when you live in a city, especially one that's prone to violence and I don't mean like every other day somebody might get pushed, I'm talking about everyday somebody's getting shot or stabbed or some other horrific thing, chances are you're not likely to be able to relax right away, it depends on the person but you're not as likely to be able to meditate easily because obviously you're concerned about your own safety and that of your family. Unfortunately even here in Boston there have been people who were sitting in their own living rooms minding their own business who have gotten shot and that's inconceivable , I can't even use the word unfortunate it's actually very distressing that you can't even sit in your own home alone and not have to worry about whether or not a bullet is going to come flying through the wall at you! I remember a story a few years ago that there was a three-year-old up on I think it was a third-floor balcony and she ended up getting shot in the spine, it rendered her a paraplegic, however, this Wee Ones Spirit was and is such that she is STILL pushing onward!

It's this kind of craziness that the human race has allowed itself to devolve to that is undermining our ability to move forward as a whole! Our slick, fast-paced, instant gratification culture dictates that we need it RIGHT NOW or all interest is lost in it, there is no patience or tenacity anymore. What is worse is not only do people want instant gratification about everything but they don't care about what happens after they're gone! Now I've touched base on this before and while I can't remember who actually said it, this person states that “the entire purpose of life is to create something that will outlast us” I agree with this wholeheartedly and right now what's going on is a perfect opportunity to do just that because right now we need to remember that we are NOT the only ones living on the Earth, we are NOT the only ones who rely on the ecosystem to live! EVERYTHING here relies on the ecosystem to thrive and everything here needs everything else to exist! We are all connected in the Web of Existence and Life, no one part anywhere can exist on its own, it doesn't matter if you're a bear or squirrel or badger or water lily or deer or whatever it doesn't matter if you are 4 million year old fossil in the in the North Sea somewhere!

It doesn't matter because EVERYTHING is connected and if any one part of that Web falls out of place or collapses or in any way shape or form becomes compromised, everything else suffers and you know how I can prove it? LOOK AT THE WORLD AS IT IS AROUND YOU RIGHT NOW cuz everything that is happening right now is a perfect example of exactly what I'm talking about our environment has been severely compromised on all levels and who's responsible for it??? I’ll give you a hint; it isn't the coyote who lost his habitat because developers decided he wasn't important enough to allow him to have a home, it wasn't the bear in the same situation who was just minding his own damn business eating a fish and just some self important human decided to shoot it, not because it was doing anything, but because it was THERE! It wasn't the cheetah on the savanna and it sure as hell wasn't the polar bear who is currently STARVING TO DEATH because of human greed! It wasn't any of them, they weren’t harming any human, only engaging in what Nature ingrained into them to do, what they have been doing forever without any issues among them! So who's to blame? Yes exactly, the humans who decided that they were above the Natural Order!

The humans are to blame for the wanton destruction and extinction of multiple species both animal and botanical. Now again we can sit here and we can pipsquawk about it, we can raise the roof on it, but that alone is not going to change anything. What needs to happen is we need actions to accompany our words, so addressing the issues is a good start but formulating ideas as to how to go about improving the situation also needs to happen or we are no better off than we were before! I believe this is happening at the very time that Paganism and Heathenism are resurging - mind you I'm not saying resurfacing because that indicates that it went away and disappeared, oh no oh no no no no no, we've been here the whole time watching and waiting, we never went anywhere - just because we were underground doesn't mean that we disappeared no matter how much some people would like to think!

I believe that this is a giant wake up call to everybody and it does not surprise me in the least at all that this is occurring at the time that Paganism and Heathen is resurging as we are the ones who always had a deep respect for Nature and again it's not just us, other cultures all over the world existed and coexisted within the parameters of the Natural World I mean you could call them Heathens as we since the word really only means anybody who doesn't believe in the Abrahamic doctrines which is pretty much anyone. My point is that those who have always respected Nature, those who have always existed within the parameters, those who have always coexisted with the Natural World, that we are making that resurgence and every day I see more and more people wanting to cast off the shackles of Abraham because they are fed up with the hypocrisy, greed, hate and oppression, they are looking to come HOME where they are welcomed as they are and not shamed or beaten into submission over someone else’s self serving agenda!

A few years ago couple years ago in North Dakota when the #NODAPL protests were occurring people from ALL OVER THE WORLD descended upon the Standing Rock Reservation to stand in solidarity with the Sioux. These are people who have NEVER met, had no personal agenda except protecting the Water and Earth, yet they came from EVERYWHERE to let it be known where they stand! There is a Hopi prophecy that says and I'm paraphrasing cuz I can't remember exactly how it is worded but it says that “When the world is in jeopardy and everything is really really bad, that the people will come together from everywhere, united as one and they will be called the Rainbow Warriors” and that is exactly what I'm talking about right now because the Indigenous peoples are very very in tune with Nature and they too could also be considered Heathens, in fact they were called SAVAGES, because they didn't do things the way that the pilgrims did them and like us refused to convert and as a result were slaughtered by the hundreds of thousands!

I agree with the Rainbow Tribe prophecy and again it does not surprise me especially after what's been happening since 2016 (and that's very recent yet most certainly not the only example) that the resurgence of Paganism and Heathenism among other Nature based Paths is occurring at the very same time that this is because again I think it's a wake-up call! I think people need to pay attention and realize that we cannot continue to abuse Mother Earth, we cannot continue to abuse the Waters, we cannot continue to abuse the Air or the Fire or the Spirit and NOT expect at some point for it all to turn around and bite us right in the ass! That's exactly what it's going to do and that's what it's doing right now and our only option (in my opinion) is we need to take a step back and realize what is important and what's important is not money it is NOT material wealth nor is it about acquiring all the toys before you die; what's important is LIFE across the board!

If we do not take care of what is happening now anybody who has kids, anybody who has or wants grandkids or has nieces and/or nephews should be aware that it’s YOUR CHILDREN who are going to suffer - and I'm not even going to say from your mistakes as that indicates something occurring accidentally - they're going to suffer from your DELIBERATE AND CALCULATED misdeeds and for those of you who don't have kids who have this “well I'm not going to be here x amount of years from now so I really don't care” you know what? That's the SAME attitude that people who came before you had and look where YOU are! Is that the reason why you feel the way you do? You're so bitter over what they’ve done to you and the things that might have been taken away from you and just destroyed before you had a chance to enjoy them that you don't care if anyone else ends up in that situation?

If so you really need to reevaluate your priorities and get a handle on your ego, realize that you have the power to make the change for somebody else that should have been made for you a long time ago and if you're actively deciding to NOT do that then you are directly contributing to the problem which means you're directly contributing to all those people - NOT just the human people - who are suffering and in many cases are dying not just from covid-19, not just from influenza or the poison pills that Big Pharma churns out regularly to combat a laundry list of imaginary afflictions, not just from pollution, but from lack of give a damn! There are so many out there who need a little help and it doesn't take a whole lot to lend someone a helping hand, you don’t even have to tell them it was you who did it if you are more inclined to do so anonymously.

For example there are commercials that are run on TV for Shriners Hospital that have the kids who are being assisted expressing their gratitude that people care enough to enable them to be kids! While these kids are all amazing and accomplishing great things, it is the ones that are donating to the hospital that are enabling these kids to have a normal life and that's what I'm talking about, a little give a damn goes a long way! When we come together any little thing that we do will help in creating a bigger and better picture for all concerned! We can overcome any problem but we really have to stop thinking about ourselves and lose this me me me me I want I want I want attitude because it’s not helping anyone including ourselves!

We can't live in a self-righteous vacuum like that anymore, we cannot put the ecosystem on the backburner anymore because we are engineering our own destruction when we continue to do this and the evidence is all around us! If we keep traveling down this road we will end up in a sense committing mass suicide and the human race will NOT be the only one to be erased as a result of our arrogance! Our irresponsibility has gotten us to the point where we no longer have the option to put off acknowledging just how much trouble the world is in, we no longer have the luxury to put it aside and not pay attention to it because the ecosystem is just a ‘thing’, it is a thing all right, it is the LIVING and DYING thing that is going to do whatever it needs to do to ensure its own survival with or WITHOUT us!

When you have entire countries going on lockdown forbidding people to travel, in or out, that is a sign of the times and it's not a good one! My Danish friend told me that Denmark is completely locked down and will be so until at least August canceling any and all summertime activities which obviously the people, the kids especially, are not happy about but at the same time I'm sure they would rather live to see next year’s festivities than tempt fate this year and not be around to enjoy next year, so even though it is going to be very difficult I am sure that next year’s events will be that much more rambunctious as a result! It is going to be an extremely trying time but so long as we stand together, so long as we have each other's backs, so long as we take care and give a damn about our neighbors, we WILL get through this, but it's not just about getting through this, it's about what we're going to do AFTER we get through this, how are we going to handle ourselves AFTER we get through this, how are we going to view the world AFTER we get through this, how are we going to treat the environment AFTER we get through this, how are we going to look at our financial situation AFTER we get through this? Why do I bring up finances? Because again one of the MAIN factors that got us to where we are is the never-ending pursuit of the almighty dollar by any means necessary, no matter who it hurts or what kind of devastation it leaves in its wake!

We all know that money is an illusion, it’s really just a form of invisible slavery keeping people on the hook of a faceless entity! It is invisible meaning that you don't actually see your money when it's in the bank but because you have an account you also have a collar around your neck and this is what the world tells you is your personal worth! This is one of several reasons why I believe the human race has lost its way, because the human race has has equated material possessions and money as being a paramount to EVERYTHING else including Life across the board! Many people have this attitude that if you have enough money then you can do whatever you want to, you can burn down the rainforest, you can cut down the woods and develop on the land then kill any animal that has the nerve to be taking a walk through what used to be its home, you can dump all your toxic waste into the rivers and the watershed, you can allow toxins from various industries to pollute the air causing acid rain, you can kill all the animals you want and just toss out the carcass, you can slaughter those wolves and kill that 10-point buck just to have a head for your wall! Hell you can even rape and kill other humans and get away with it so long as you write a big enough check to whoever’s reelection!

If you have the money you're special and you can get away with anything - well we're seeing the result of that right now and the result is you are NOT special, you will NOT get away with anything, you are NOT exempt from anything that you have done and will do! You WILL be held accountable for it all, if not by the human population, then by the Divine, by the Nature Spirits who are always watching over everything! We need to remember who we are we are –we are Water Protectors, we are Earth Guardians, we are here to maintain the Natural Order, we are here to take care of the planet for all current and future generations of Life across the board! Mother Nature really doesn't need for us to do a whole lot of anything as far as taking care of things is concerned; she has been taking care of business for TRILLIONS of millennia and will continue to do so long after we are gone!

What she needs for us to do is STOP taking for granted that things will always be there when we need them as they won’t be if we continue to use up and deplete our natural resources, she needs us to STOP destroying everything because we think we are above it all, what she needs for us to do is make sure that everything is running smoothly so that everything here can stay here! I mean yes we are also here to work the land and to take care of it ourselves and everything else but what we're not here to do is take advantage or to be abusive, to treat everything as though it is beneath us because nothing is beneath us, if anything we are at the mercy of Nature and how well we care for the ecosystem directly determines how well it will take care of us! Remember -the Earth does NOT need us, we need the Earth! We all exist together, we are not above or below anything else, we all exist in the same Circle!

Now with everything that's happening this is the time to take that step back, to take stock of your Life to see what it is that you've been doing up to this point, what it is that you could be doing at this point, what it is you will do tomorrow to help not only yourself but your fellow man as well as the environment! While this is a sermon I am not trying to be overly preachy or anything like that because I know everybody is stressed out, everybody is nearing the ends of their tethers. There's a lot of malaise running rampant and unfortunately this isn't the only thing that's going on for some people. There have been deaths in the family for some people, there have been losses of jobs and income which is obviously not helping the stress levels go down and there are other things that are happening in addition to this virus and the social isolation it made necessary. So yes it is a very trying time but we are a very resilient people, we are a very strong and tough species, we know that we are because if we weren't we wouldn't have survived all these years all these millennia given everything our Ancestors had to work through!

However, sometimes that kind of strength and that kind of stubbornness allows your ego to become a little inflamed and you end up doing what the human race has been doing that brought us to where we are today. While we can't do anything about the past, what we can do is learn from it so that it doesn’t happen again! This is why history is very VERY important as those who forget history as well as those who never knew history and refuse to learn about it, are the enablers! They are the ones that will enable the tragedies and hardships of the past to reoccur! Ignorance is not bliss and we no longer have the luxury of claiming that we didn’t and don’t know just how bad off we are, but again we DO have the power to change course to bring everything back. We can still come back Full Circle and resume showing our Mother Nature the respect and appreciation she damn well deserves because she is the one that provides all of us with everything regardless of what Path we walk, she only cares that WE care!

Without our Mother Nature to provide everything from the Air we breathe, to the Fire that warms us, the Earth we are comprised of, the Water that is Life (MNI WICONI), without her we are NOTHING, we do NOT exist and now is the time to step up and remember this, it's not too late! Yes things are bad, things are VERY bad but it is not too late to change ourselves and in turn change our circumstances! We can, instead of just stewing at home, take this time to contemplate; I mean really, REALLY take into consideration what we want out of Life and how we're going to go about achieving it! Not only that what can we do to improve the situation generally speaking, not just for our neighbors, but for the Earth!

We can clean up the mess we made and even though chances are we're not going to clean up the entire mess in our lifetime, we no longer have any excuses left as to why we can’t at least get the boulder rolling! This is the reason why we utilize what time we do have to create something that will in fact outlast us because if we start now then we can pass on these new values that are directly connected to the Old Ways and eventually one of the future generations will bring it back Full Circle and hopefully at that time a fully replenished Earth and Natural coexistence will once again reign supreme and every species from the Human Race to the Animal Kingdom to the Flora and the Fauna will continue to uphold each other just like we used to before the fevered egos took over!

I still have hope that this is possible and I know I'm not alone on this so we all need to remember that no matter how alone we might feel right now that we are one even though we are many and we stand strongest when we stand together no matter where we are no matter what's going on when it comes to matters of the Heart and Mind distance does not exist, we are all connected through the Spirit!

Those of you who are familiar with my writing know that I like to end my sermons with a personal poem/prayer/song whatever you’d like to call it or with a song that exemplifies everything written in the sermon. This time I am including Heilung’s “Galgadr” because it speaks directly to everything I talked about and being that the song is about Ragnarock, makes it the perfect song for not only this sermon, but to explain WHY the colossal upheaval that is currently underway is absolutely necessary!

This excerpt started life as a stream of thought but since it falls in direct correlation to the sermon, I decided to include it in its entirety!

We WILL get through this so long as we work together and do what we need to do to create a stopping point where this virus finds itself at the end of its own road with nowhere left to go!

Keep the faith! So long as we keep our minds on the present and our focus on the future, there are brighter days ahead! Look no further for proof of this than how much healing the ecosystem has undergone in the couple of months that the virus has forced the humans to be quarantined in their own homes!

It may seem like a harsh observation, HOWEVER, had the human race's consistent assault on the ecosystem not been what it was (and still is) for all this time then perhaps the extreme response from Nature wouldn't have been warranted!

It is time we got past our own fevered egos and came together as the Sisters and Brothers that we're supposed to be, to work towards a mutual resolution that benefits not only the human race but continues to further the healing of our Great Mother Earth!

While we know it is human nature to be social, we also know it's human nature to be competitive. That being said this is not the Hunger Games or Game of Thrones or any other Hollywood inspired garbage, this is REAL LIFE with consequences you take to the grave!

So don't be stupid and don't be arrogant, don't think that because you're asymptomatic that you're not infected and/or can't infect other people! If your local government tells you to stay at home for a period of time then do so!

Remember this is not just about you but about everybody you know! I'm not usually one to obey anything any government says but when it comes to something like this precautions are necessary!

We know that there will be resistors regardless of how much information is put out there so instead of enabling them, let us take care of ourselves and our beloved ones!

"Brothers shall fight

and fell each other,

And sisters' sons

shall kinship stain;

Hard is it on earth,

with mighty whoredom;

Axe-time, sword-time,

shields are sundered,

Wind-time, wolf-time,

ere the world falls;

Nor ever shall men

each other spare.

axe-time,

sword-time,

wind-time,

wolf-time.

I incant against the spirit;

against the walking (spirit),

against the riding one,

against the running one,

against the sitting one,

against the signing one,

against the travelling one,

against the flying one,

It shall completely wither and die.

Now do I see

the earth anew

Rise all green

from the waves again;

The cataracts fall,

and the eagle flies,

And fish he catches

beneath the cliffs.

-Heilung ("Galgaldr")

The point of quoting this song is because it is the perfect description of what is happening right now. It's perfect because what it's describing is in fact the end of the world which is not what people think it is; it is not creation ceasing to exist. What it really is is the destruction of everything that no longer works so that the creation can go on existing and thrive once again!

We know that death is not just a physical thing we have discussed this before, it is Spiritual and Metaphysical as well! We've also discussed that there is no creation without destruction, no life without death! These two things while they may seem like polar opposites are actually what keeps everything in Balance!

The only way for the new world to arise as for the previous world to die off. It may sound harsh but unfortunately in order for the Phenex to rise from the fire it has to burn itself to death first! What emerges from this seeming act of self-destruction is in all reality a more vital and vibrant world!

We are going through such a transition right now and as scary as it is at times, we will get through if we work together AND we will come out stronger and better for it!

ZI ANA KANPA!

(HAIL THE PRIEST OF THE SKY!)

ZI KIA KANPA!

(HAIL THE PRIEST OF THE EARTH!)

MAY THE DEAD RISE AND SMELL THE INCENSE!

(THE WARRIORS WHO WILL RISE UP TO FIGHT THE FINAL BATTLE!)

NEVER Back Up! NEVER Back Down!

NEVER Give Up! NEVER Give In!

HAIL CERRENOUS!

HAIL MORGANA !

HAIL DIANA!

HAIL LUGH!

AVÉ IGGIGI!

AVÉ ANUNNA!

AVÉ DRACHE!

HAIL THE GREAT SERPENT!

RESPECT TO TYR!

RESPECT TO ODINN!

RESPECT TO FRIGGA!

RESPECT TO NJÖRD!

RESPECT TO RAN!

RESPECT TO AEGIR!

RESPECT TO THE NINE SISTERS!

RESPECT TO ALL AQUATIC SPIRITS!

RESPECT TO FREYA!

RESPECT TO FREYR!

RESPECT TO ÞOR!

RESPECT TO BALDUR!

RESPECT TO EIR!

RESPECT TO HEL!

We are ONE even though we are MANY and we stand STRONGEST when we stand TOGETHER!

HAIL THE ANCIENT FAMILY!

🐍🌎🌬🛶💖🌿🦌🐺🐲💧🔥🐉

HPS Meg “Nemesis Nexus” Prentiss

[breaking-borderline]

Changing The Way We Talk About Suicide

As a disclaimer, I’d like to place a trigger warning here for those effected by suicide, depression or general mental health issues as the below topic could be upsetting; please read ahead with caution. If you are experiencing suicidal thoughts, I urge you to please contact the Samartians (UK) through telephone at 116 123 or via e-mail at  jo@samaritans.org. For those in the U.S.A, please reach out to the Suicide Prevention Lifeline at  1-800-273-8255 or access the free chat through here.

In light of the death of Chester Bennington, we need to talk about the way suicide is spoken about. Throughout this article you will notice how I refuse to use the terms “took their own life” or “killed themselves” as I believe this is part of the problem in which suicide is viewed and talked about. Chester lost a dear friend less than two months ago, the front man for Soundgarden ‘Chris Cornell’, and it’s with great sadness to say that yesterday would of been his 53rd Birthday. Cornell was a talented soul who also lost his life to suicide, the bond between the pair was unbreakable and I can only imagine the loss which Chester had felt. Those who have suffered a loss often find dates and anniversaries particularly distressing, and for those already struggling with mental health can be a catalyst to trigger severe intrusive thoughts and actions. I’ve seen many, many posts via twitter and various social media outlets stating that suicide is ‘selfish’. There are two reasons why I can see why this might be thought of; disbelief that the victim has passed away or arrogance to mental health issues.

Grief is a hard thing for humans to process.  According to Elizabeth Kubler-Ross there are five distinct stages of grief. We go into denial, because the loss is so unthinkable, we can’t imagine it’s true. We become angry with everyone - angry with survivors, angry with ourselves. Then we bargain. We offer everything we have. We offer up our souls in exchange for just one more day. When the bargaining has failed and the anger is too hard to maintain, we fall into depression, despair, until finally we have to accept that we have done everything we can. We let go. We let go and move into acceptance. As human beings, we are hard wired to want definitive answers. Natural causes of death can arguably be more accepting to deal with as there is a tangible scientific answer; the body has failed in some way, the person passed of old age; but when the cause of death becomes at the hand of a person there is a need for blame. This is why I personally believe that others find the topic of suicide hard to discuss and the event even more difficult to process. Loved ones of the deceased can find themselves scrambling for answers, trying to understand the process leading up to their death. There is a lot of questioning as to why and unfortunately those initial questions point towards “why did they do this when they had a loving spouse, friends, children”, “why would someone waste their life that way”, “how could they do that to their loved ones”. These types of questions closely link in to my second theory as to why blame is appointed to the victim; lack of understanding in mental health. It is only through moving forward into acceptance that we can begin to let go on the blame attached to this.

As someone with personal experience of losing a loved one to suicide, I can understand why blame would be easier to place. When one finds out that someone close to them has lost their lives this way, a lot of questioning takes place. We ask ourselves if we could of done more, try to look back on any signs we may of missed, looking for the moment when we could of saved them. Blame is taken upon ourselves, we feel at fault for letting them go. We grieve for not being able to speak one last word to them. We’re angry; angry at ourselves, angry at society, angry at them. We wish we could see them again just for a moment, playing over and over again in our minds a scenario in which we could of said our goodbyes or been there to support them further. Until we accept, but acceptance isn’t a stage many people make it to. The loss can be so catastrophic that we stay in denial for a long period of time, many people can’t let go and stay in depression without ever making it to acceptance. We may be able to know that the person is no longer with us, but we cannot accept why this has happened.

Depression is hard on those on the outside, but it’s even harder on those experiencing it. The truth of it is  you could have a loving family, a great network of friends, a fulfilling career, but depression will always tell you that you are not good enough, it will tell you again and again that those who you love so dearly would be better off without you, depression will batter you down; it strips you down to your very core and there is only so many times the shell can be rebuilt. Any fan of Linkin Park will know from their lyrics that there has been a life time of deep, harrowing suffering. Chester himself has also battled with drug and alcohol addictions throughout his lifetime, which is another common factor in those which die by suicide. Here was a man who fought his demons his entire life and I applaud him for using his suffering to create beautiful art which so many fans have been touched by and can relate to. It came to a great shock to see this news. Instantly my first thought was sadness that another great life had been taken.

It was through reading articles, status’s and twitter updates which I’ve seen the term “killed himself“ and “committed suicide” so easily thrown around. Someone has recently taught me how important language is, and I cannot express enough how deeply troublesome this terminology is. Whilst saying the person has taken their life, it depicts that the victim made a sole decision to die. This cannot be further from the truth. Depression is a long term illness which many people battle for their entire lives, it is an illness which plants ideas firmly within the brain, it changes how our neurotransmitters are wired, it can permanently lower serotonin even with medication, even neuroplastisity cannot always be shaped back to optimum levels. There are many factors which play in to why we are depressed, but the effects can be life long. Through listening to Chester’s work over the years, it is clear that he has struggled with severe depression and addiction throughout his adult life. Many people cannot find a definitive answer as to why his life has ended, therefore blame is placed upon the victim themselves. The truth of the matter is, these victims have died by suicide, they have lost their lives to depression, the fight against mental health has been lost. This does not mean the victim chose to end it themselves, this means that the illness became so debilitating, that there was no other option rather than to turn to a last resort.

I will always stand by the fact that those who have lost their lives to suicide are not to blame, I will never use terms which would place blame upon them. Instead, I shall mourn the tragic loss of another beautiful life taken too soon to mental health illness. I will push for more research in to psychiatric disorders, I will advocate for those who cannot speak for themselves, I will openly discuss this issues to raise awareness; I will fight to support those who are grieving. There is no blame here, only grief.

[twinflameshardcore]

Waiting for the solar eclipse and playing with gemstones

I’m back and I’m sorry for not writing earlier (and responding your Qs)  but there was nothing to share, I also didn’t sign in and yet I was busy with work here. I was also notified by my higher self that I’ve ‘arrived’ on Earth and I know everything what I should know to calm down, and that I should quit analyzing emotions and bizarre events but focus on my inner integrity, 'feel’ & accept everything what happens on the spiritual level between me and the TF, receive ‘messages’ from the heart to heart just like they happen, and boy, they have been very direct, beautiful and open!

The merging process continues and it’s more and more pleasant. I already can sense my twin in various parts of my body - the chest, kidneys, feet (when I put my toes together it feels as if we kissed!), knees, and specifically the right side of my head (the right brain hemisphere - masculine), the top and the forehead. My remote viewing skill improves, though I still feel like a rookie about it. I’ve experienced the most blissful merging so far when our hearts and brains/minds and chakras glued together. It lasted around 2hrs and felt as if somebody drugged me for a good reason ;) Our connection becomes more physical yet remains on a distance. The brain can’t understand it but it’s like the two distant spaces (and bodies) become one so we exist as if in the same space simultaneously. There’s just more joy of feeling each other lighter and deeper. There’s no more worrying that we have to stay apart, or that we have to communicate in spirit only, yet we have no plans to meet in person again anytime soon. The Universe will push us when it’s our time, and I surrendered to this and been living my life without a former distress. We just continue texting and calling from time to time, but there’s no demand or control issues anymore from my side. This period of time is about ‘who you want to be once you’re re-born, recall what the future version of you prepared for your present self for this timeline’. I’m an amateur artist who loves making practical things so I’m pretty sure this is the right path, but it also needs to pay off.

Recent updates briefly:

- Twin’s still struggling with money so he’s moving to a safer place and looking for a new job which will definitely help him focus on our love finally and figure out what he wants to do next, to give his natural skills some new, useful purpose. Old jobs, old systems don’t work anymore when your vibration increases. If we don’t resonate with something, we send a clear signal - ‘I do not want this, or that person to be a part of me’ and the Universe shifts things to make space in your life for something/somebody better just as you’ve requested. Monitor your thoughts then ;)

- I had two meaningful dreams/ astral experiences: I saw 2 planets overlapping each other in the East/North night sky (static but in the last phase) and a translucent plasma hanging out in the sky at the front of them, frequently pumped with some energy impulses sent from above. A day later I came across a very similar dream/experience shared by Carla Fox on her blog which shocked yet pleased me as it was a pure confirmation that certain people receive it just as it is. Read it here. Then the other dream was about seeing disturbances on a TV screen (like missing pixels) then coming outdoor and seeing a big UFO spaceship with blue lights surrounding its edge and claw-like decorations. It hanged above the roof of a house and made a sound as if of an air conditioner (no such sounds in my house, thus no influence). It covered the entire sky above me, just like in ‘The Independence Day’ movie which I’ve watched over 10 years ago, again no recent influences. They were friendly (I saw no beings, just sensed the entire spaceship) and the overall message was something like: Hello, you’ve done well, we let you see us for a moment so to assure you that we’re real, including things you’ve channeled and galactic races. We’ll’ be back’. I was so happy in the dream, so relieved, that I began clapping while other people ran outdoor to see the spaceship too. It was as if on a parallel Earth because the house was not mine but was placed in my garden, and it has been the 3rd or 4th dream about UFO in all my so far life.

So basically every day brings something new, but sleeping lately is not fun at all. I wake up at night (around 5 am, in recent years I was waking up around 2-3 am) and I’m full awake, not even knowing if I should do anything in spirit or if something is ‘repairing’ me or maybe I already act but in another dimension but I must remain awake and connected with my other ‘version’. There’s certainly some higher purpose for that sleep deprivation, specifically when the mind is not distracted by daily activities, noises etc. yet I can function during the day as if I slept really well.

I’ve been waiting patiently for things to develop on their own because the incoming solar eclipse (02/26) will be in my zodiac (Pisces/Aries, just like, I believe, in 2015) opposing the Moon in Virgo (this position also in my birth chart). The first eclipse this month was in Leo a fire sign and was related to a self-esteem. The next one will be related to becoming one with everything, empathetic, understanding an invisible, just as Pisces naturally do. This passage has a theme of ‘born in fire (masculine), reborn in water (masculine aligned with feminine)’. Leo is “I”. Pisces are ‘AM’ - ascended masters because we’ve an open connection to the Universe, (which is not fun in the 3D world at all, but becomes a major navigational skill in 5D). Thus it’s possible that we may feel as ‘I AM’ this month, ‘I am who I am, and I radiate my being outside’.  This month will also mark my angel’s awakening 1st anniversary (that was on 02/29/2016, the leap day). It’s all leading to something but it’s a mystery again - the Universe likes surprising us when we quit expecting! :)

There’s said to be some big event to happen in April, effecting TFs too. My guess: 4/4, or 4/22 as I’ve been seeing a crazy number of 44s during the last few months. There will be a peak of Lyrid meteors shower on 04/22 - if you’ve studied the galactic races, then you know Lyrans are said to be the oldest in our galaxy (while Draconians are oldest in another galaxy thus we fought). The old war may come to an end finally and we’ll perhaps unite in love ;) My twin may be a feline from Lyra (that would be also a cherub angel, not a guarantee however but I sense him that way) or a Sirian as he’s a highly telepathic & empathetic techie. However, the entire distant past issues interest me less and less as I’ve received what I had to know and it’s only up to the human to accept that knowledge because the brain is a permanent naysayer. I’ve accepted what is my ‘lineage’ and stopped verifying further.

Ascension symptoms: there’s a very strong polarization between energies which Gaia releases and those incoming from the Universe - we transmute these through our bodies. Thighs feel tense, knees may hurt, the back too. Solar plexus and back react to past slavery issues (’I decide who I am and what I want to do, not you’), to all those limitations, blockages imposed by those who didn’t want us evolve and become who we came here to be. US president is a perfect example of a catalyst as he represents the old, hated masculine energy: rude, arrogant, unfair, pushy, unempathetic, selfish etc. Trump’s like a compressor and we’re like ballons in a box, can’t squeeze anymore so we’ll burst, and he’ll and him alike suffer ;) The dying evil energy is looking for ‘donors’, manifesting itself through various events, news, strangers etc. - see a bigger picture, the source of an event, then detach, ignore, or destroy it in spirit. I lately had to spiritually cut some new ‘arm/hose’ which I found attached to my mind delivering some untruth and harmful illusions about my TF (again triggering the ego which was already taught to shut up) - I’ve felt better & fresher in the head since the ‘surgery’.

(Source)

Finally, I returned to one of my old hobbies - collecting gemstones. This time however with a fully conscious purpose as I’ve discovered they ‘speak to me’. I never thought a piece of rock could be that interactive, but I’d denied the awakening, ascension, and many more related things before I experienced them on my own ;) Some have a very direct vibration which I feel, I can read into a stone while touching it (rubbing, scratching, pressing) and 'seeing through’. This may also belong to my newly awakened skills. I mean, I don’t hear any gemstone’s talk ;) It’s more subtle. Like I’ve got a new gemstone, jasper kambaba (tumbled) and my first impression was that this stone scared me, because it was too direct, probing into my soul once touched. Kambaba has traces of algae in them so their surface looks like having a face with eyes often. Then I spent some time holding it, trusting and opening for. A knowing I received was that these stones have a consciousness of, let’s say an Earth djinn, who literately scanned me with its vibration then was willing to be given commands. It’s a protective gemstone, grounding nicely and soothing. It ‘senses’ if I’ve any blockages, weakness in my chakras at the time of scanning, then it ‘seals’ and balances these leakages.

I’ve a few favorite gemstones which I find very useful these days as evil energies try to attach to people to find donors and we need to protect ourselves. These energies are being removed from Gaia one by one but if you allow them to attach, you risk being dragged down into the low vibration and feel really bad, sick, worried, fearful, irritated, disillusional, as they distort the reality. These evil energies will try to separate you from the TF using your brain & logic, so once you’re torn and disintegrated within, you’ll be more available to be a host for such energies. Thus, a black tourmaline (rough, tumbled, or with quartz) is a must-have as it grounds strongly and aligns all chakras, a turquoise (watch for fake, painted gemstones and howlites), galena, jaspers, gypsum (selenite), black onyx (centering emotions), black/snow obsidian (grounding), jet (=gagate) and surely many more which I hadn’t tested yet. I’ve also one favourite which strongly resonates with my crown chakra and that other chakra above - a rough dumortierite gemstone which since the beginning has given me an impression that it’s not originally from Earth but maybe was brought here during some collision, billions of years ago. Very direct vibration opening my head like an arrow! Then sodalite works perfectly with my higher heart chakra. It’s a beautiful blue stone which (when polished) resembles the Earth as seen from above, with its oceans, white surf, clouds and continents. It makes a connection with the twin’s higher heart much easier, just like black/pink rodonite. Carnelian increases my blood pressure which is OK because it’s usually low, but it can be also annoying for the stomach sometime. I also love bloodstones and hematites, tiger’s/hawk’s eyes and citrines. My favourite green gemstone is rough zoisite (especially when watched and felt in a direct sunshine), they usually include rubies too.

I mean every gemstone works differently for individual people. Tumbled/polished gemstones usually generate a softer vibration than rough minerals, and sometime a rough gemstone looks and feels stronger or better than tumbled (crystals should stay rough & sharp, but gemstones for massages should be tumbled). I got an unpolished red jasper but I feel a tumbled one would let me communicate with its energy much deeper so I’m going to get one soon. If some of your chakras are already healthy, balanced and open, then you won’t benefit or even feel a vibration of a highly recommended gemstones, like amethysts. For instance, I’ve no problems with a verbal self-expression, honesty & assertiveness, thus a lapis lazuli or other blue stones don’t resonate with me at all (not every blue stone is for the throat chakra). Amethyst doesn’t do for me either because I’ve the crown chakra open and channeling well. But all other gemstones recommended for bottom chakras (yellow, orange and red), for self-esteem, digestion, root & sacral chakras, the solar plexus, those helping ground my angel here on Earth do their job perfectly :) I’ll be visiting an annual gemstones show next month and I hope to buy a few more, still missing a topaz, sapphire, kyanite, astrophilite, moldavite and a few more to work with but these are sadly expensive. Watch out for charoite though. If you want to but a charoite bead, make sure it looks like a tumbled charoite, because it’s a rare gemstone (only found in Siberia) and there are many fakes on sale.

If you decide to work with gemstones and find your favourite there are a few useful tips: - get that one which calls you, which looks to you more attractive than others, - bigger doesn’t mean better, as little single bead can resonate with you very well. Bigger gemstones are obviously more expensive and are used if you need to clear/protect a large space, the entire house, garden with many energies/people living there etc. - wear it there, where it should be according to how it resonates within your body. Wear a black tourmaline, onyx, obsidian, any other grounding stones around the lower body (in a pocket) but gemstones healing/expending the heart, 3rd eye, crown chakras etc. should be worn or placed on the upper part of the body, - left side is assigned to the feminine energy, right to the masculine, so it also makes sense to hold a gemstone in the proper hand once you feel one of your energies is imbalanced, - try to rub a stone with the edge of your finger (a part/line of skin along the nail and  both sides of the top of a finger), it feels much more joyful as most of nerves are collected there.

The most fun comes when you gather a little collection, understood gemstones meanings and feel their resonance, so then you can group some of them and sense how such a selection makes you feel, if gemstones are happy being together, or not.

One must have a hobby to survive the TF separation, then coming together, merging, alignment, own and his/her energetic imbalances, and all kinds of mysteries involved too ;) My favourite website about gemstones are this and this and this one too.

I’ll look into your Qs soon, patience pls, thanks. Enjoy the eclipse!

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