#the thought of someone fucking me but saying ‘mine’ over and over again
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chiacanwritesometimes · 2 days ago
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casual (part 1)
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ship: bucky barnes x reader
word count: 1.2k
authors note: this was a little hard to write, as i had to delve into the reserves of my own experiences, so this hits a little close to home. i will be updating soon! unedited. there is soft smut and mentions of homophobia. this whole series is about situationships, so dni if this triggers anything or makes you uncomfortable. please do not get into anything you do not feel comfortable doing, and know that you are loved and should not settle for less. my dm’s are always open. much love, and enjoy.
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your pov
you didn’t blame him. he wasn’t really in the best of mentalities for a relationship, so it must’ve meant a lot for him to choose you. or, at least, not push you away.
after losing his best friend, he decided he should lay low. if he didn’t get close with anyone, he would get hurt. except you. always, except you.
you would come over to his bleak apartment, and chat for a bit. occasionally, you’d bring him some food. you’d write down the events in your journal, rereading them time and time again to feel closer to him. you knew he didn’t want you, or rather, want you the way you needed him to. he was still stuck, mourning the loss of his best friend, and…lover. but he was gone, and you were right here. why wouldn’t he pick you? you weren’t terrible looking, and you weren’t … terrible in bed either. what was so utterly unappealing in you? you wrote in your journal. maybe in your thoughts, you’d find the answer.
entry 1:
it was 2 in the morning when i came over. the clock keeps ticking longer each time i go, and im hoping that one of these nights you’ll ask me to stay. you never do. i dont like the way i manage to say everything that’s on my mind when im with you. i think that one day, ill let you read all this, but for now, its just mine. i want to not like you, so badly. i get so nervous around you, my chest tightens, my lips curl inward, my eyes dodge yours, my hands are occupied with my sweater, and my heart beats speeding up by the second. i usually am more eloquent and organized with my words and feelings, but today was so frustrating. i can’t look into your eyes when we fuck, because i know that through mine you look for him. your eyes attack mine. your eyes are unkind, your eyes are bitter. your hands hold me, wishing i was someone else. your lips softly graze against mine, hoping that you’d catch a glimpse of what it would be like if it was him instead.
you picked up your pen, and sighed. that was enough angst for tonight. you still had his sweat on your skin to wash off.
he wasn’t evil, just in a confusing situation. you convinced yourself that if you were in his shoes, you would probably do the same. it still didn’t take away from the pain, though. you liked him best when you were the sole focus on his attention, and when he told you pretty things. you got a sick sense of comfort when he squirmed under your gaze. he knew what he was doing wasn’t right, but cmon. he must have had some sort of clue if he felt guilty.
his pov
you had just left his apartment on a sour note. it wasn’t uncommon for that to happen. he would send you a text, saying he was sorry, you’d respond, and the cycle would repeat again. it was almost comical how long it has been since you two had been at this. he had put himself in an awkward situation again, but he wasn’t sure if it was an uncomfortable one. the last time he was in a one sided relationship was with… it wasn’t a relationship, at least not by technicality. sure, they slept together, spent time together, cried together, but he knew deep down his heart belonged to peggy. he wasn’t jealous, but a part of him wondered what would have happened if he was honest with his feelings. hes sure nothing would have changed, as it would have been extremely controversial for america’s sweetheart to have a sweetheart of his own, let alone a male one. he felt like a kept secret, a promise that one day, things will be different. they never were.
now, with you, things were different. he felt the need to shield himself from the world, but it wasn’t because homosexuality wasn’t accepted, rather because he wasn’t. his mere existence was hated by many, for who he was, who he hurt. the winter soldier, although gone, still haunted him.
he didn’t want to hurt you. being close with you would mean that you’d have to take care of him, something he hardly ever did, so why should you? other than aftercare, he wouldn’t let his guard down when you were near. he was afraid that he would be right, and you wouldn’t give a shit about him, worried that you just wanted him for his body, like them. he didn’t like thinking of you that lowly, but after a life like his, it was bound to happen.
he sighed, and grabbed his phone. he texted you a small apology, silently cursing himself for continuing this cycle. he threw his phone on the couch and sighed. he got up, walked to the kitchen and made himself a small breakfast. the morning didn’t start just yet, but might as well start the day now.
your pov
you couldnt hate him. you loved the way he loved you, the way you came undone with his touch. his scent was addicting, and you were obsessed with the way he tucked your hair behind your ear, the way he breathed heavily under the sheets, the way he held you so gently when pumping inside you. you thought of this morning, and sighed.
you got his text, and smiled. “miss you. door’s open. bb.” you found it adorable how he typed in short sentences, and finished each message in “bb”, for “bucky barnes”, as if you didn’t know it was him. you dressed yourself casually. nothing too fancy, nothing too drab. you wore a small amount of perfume, just enough so his bedsheets smelled like you. you wore your favorite lingerie, knowing that romance was out of the picture. this was just a fuck, a quick connection between two people before the knowledge of knowing you will never be his overcame you. you showed up to his apartment, and he opened the door. you didn’t even need to knock, he knew you were there. he smiled.
“you look beautiful.”
you walked in, and he started kissing you. you always wore a low cut tank top, and he always lingered on the straps of your shirt. he’d bite it, almost whining that the small piece of fabric was in between him and your body. he led you to the couch, and let you straddle him. he removed your pants, complimenting the way they hugged your hips while doing so. you got on top of him, loving how almost natural it felt, how perfectly you fit on top of him. his favorite part to leave hickeys was in the sweet spot of your neck. he kissed over the healed bruise, evidence of the last time you came over to his place.
you went to bed. might as well catch some sleep before the morning came.
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rosicheeks · 8 months ago
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Of course it's you I want to put a baby in, silly. You're cute and would make cute babies, and I know I'd breed you fully because if you squirt on my chest, I'll drive my cock into your womb so hard, you'll know the moment you get pregnant when I cum.
oh……. OH 👀👀👀👀👀👀
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adelinamoteru · 11 months ago
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its kinda crazy that yall will apply real world politics and situations to gotham when it comes to jason and his ‘vigilantism’, but never choose to take that angle when analyzing any other bat character’s
brother eye from batman? hello? does constant nonconsensual surveillance seem like an ethical way to keep an eye on supposed allies or stop crime in real life? does beating people up until they comply with u (under fucking duress) seem like the ethical way to produce testimonies and confessions?
but nah, one speech from jason in utrd and yall are up in arms about how nothing he’s saying is actually conducive to lowering crime rates.
at the end of the day, it doesn’t fucking matter who’s right and who’s wrong regarding these morals in real life because the dc universe is so fucking far from reality in the crime that the justice system has to deal with. there is no point in arguing a reality standpoint if its not going to be applied to vigilantism in the bat comics as a whole.
and on the topic of fiction, the willful ignorance as to how jason’s story also portrays a victims revenge/justice is just boring at this point. how are themes in a narrative not coming through to you. especially when doing literature analysis for any of these comics.
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tittyinfinity · 28 days ago
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contemplating deleting my blog soon I might make a new blog but idk
#.bdo#i just need to work on some insecurity issues is all. been on a long self journey this year#can't shake the feeling that every time i say anything it's wrong somehow#and there is some reality to that. i have been wrong several times I've even been downright mean to people over misunderstandings#i just haven't been able to break out of the habit of feeling permanently embarrassed about every small mistake I've ever made#& old insecurities from my childhood are resurfacing#like when i was a kid/teen and no one would ever tell me when i was breaking social cues but they'd make fun of me behind my back#i have 3200 followers and most of my posts get 0 notes sometimes i get 1-5 so it makes me feel like I'm doing something wrong#i end up deleting a lot of them...#almost every post of mine that's gone viral was just a screenshot or picture saved from somewhere else....#and the times that i have gotten attention over a post that stands up for people who aren't like me it makes me terrified#that i look like i'm trying to play a savior role or like i'm virtue signaling#i have a few good mutuals who i love so much and that's why I'm still here#it's also the only social media i use currently#but it does really hurt when i put a lot of thought into something like spending hours making a funny meme or a thoughtful post#just to find out that the only people who find them interesting is my extremely small circle on here if anyone at all#it's so dumb i shouldn't be feeling like this over fucking numbers....it's not even real#i find a little bit of (petty) solace in the fact that there are people on here who are loudly and repeatedly saying way more embarrassing#shit than I've ever said#but even then when i know someone is absolutely wrong it makes me feel nervous like what if im the next person to fuck up that bad#and i find out through public ridicule#well that actually kinda did happen on here once but not on that scale#last year i sent someone something i thought was funny and they sent back an 'ok'#and then immediately made a huge long post about how you shouldn't talk to strangers like you're already friends#called it parasocial behavior...got tens of thousands of notes and i knew it was about me...#i wholeheartedly agree some people go too far with parasocial behavior but i never fully understood what part of what i said/did was wrong#and i went back to feeling like the kid who never found out they were doing something wrong until they heard that they got made fun of#i don't even attempt to make new friends on my own on here anymore because i'm terrified of that happening again#almost all of the people I've become friends with on here came to me first and i love and appreciate them for that#but even then i feel too nervous to socialize that often bc i never find out/realize that i fuck up until later on
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crystalkitty1220 · 8 months ago
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Man I wonder where the leader of the fear realm could've gone, it's alMOST LIKE NEVIN HAS AN
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#had to re-edit the image real quick because the original edit was from a post I made about Drew years ago#and while the Drew thing is becoming less and less likely. Nevin havinv one has basically been canon since#someone mentioned Greg's (was it Britney's) aura being familiar in s2ch1. ive been putting together a list of every line#that points to Nevin's aura throughout the whole thing (most from s2ch1 but then s2ch10 came out and it was really canon at that point)#but clearly i'm running out of time to say ''i fucking called it'' before it's explicitly stated and i dont want to be in another situation#where somebody else will beat me to a theory and me posting anything about it will seem like copying them. sorry about that btw i had#thought i had already mentioned theorizing that nevin was possessed by a demon in that old theory i made but i had forgotten that one was#super old and was about sigma. so no copying there i just got extremely paranoid there was a mention of a cult and i was like ''nuh uh#that's way too specific and out there of a detail to end up in both our theories'' and i forgot the rest of my super old post was outdated#as hell. and echos had gone ''yeah they're so similar!'' and i took their word for it but now i'm realizing they were probably just trying#to be supportive. so yeah no copying there i was just beaten to the punch of saying something. but i will NOT back down from the aura shit#because i have been calling that shit FROM THE START or at least since i started reading ibvs back when ch20 came out.#also not backing down from saying chris was the worse friend because these past few chapters are the first time isaac has done anything tha#could knowingly upset chris meanwhile chris has. let edward drag isaac to the lair after isaac said edward would beat him up. chose not to#believe edward was holding the secrets over their heads because 'it was something isaac had said' and then immediately distrusted edward in#the next chapter because a random person he didn't know said to steal a book (might i mention how that entire scene proves chris' lack of#development and refusal to take responsibility because it perfectly alludes to when chris had brought those fireworks into his old school#and makes me wonder if charlie has actually gotten him in trouble with his past schools or if he's still just not taking responsibility#and if him following nevin to the woods to test out their powers is an extension of ''if something bad happens its not my fault''#like seriously this man would bring a mysterious suitcase onto a plane if he's told to). uh what was i talking about agai#anyway on a related note my mental state has only gotten worse since i left tumblr and the habit of thinking about chris instead of sleepin#or doing schoolwork has not stopped. so i was still failing for a while and might graduate now but am still staying away from tumblr.#so yeah this was a little update and im not going to linger this time im just going to leave tumblr again right after hitting post#addendum because i just can't let things go. and was thinking about chris again. i don't think his lack of development is because of bad#writing (anymore. i used to.). instead i'm certain his character arc is going to continue into him following someone (nevin probably) into#doing something really bad. and then he'll finally get actual consequences and go 'oh shit i fucked up real bad this time'#if you think that theory is reaching too far into the future you should hear mine about isaac dying at the end lmao
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lovelornlamb · 3 months ago
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trying to take my boss's advice and not text him unless he texts me. return the energy. this is just eating me alive
#my post#i don't know which is worse texting and being looked over or not texting and not hearing anything at all#i feel like i just read things wrong and he just wants space to figure himself out#but at the same time he said he'd text me gm every day while he's gone and send pictures and even post cards and all this stuff#ugh#i wish he wasn't so confusing and adverse to being straight with his intentions and thoughts and plans#and i wish i didn't so desperately feel that urge to know him and earn that reward of interpersonal intimacy like when we first met#i've always been so deeply curious about him and who he was what he liked how he thought and felt#i can't just turn that off like he did#i'm sitting absolutely gutted and trying not to cry when i was just trying to make lunch#because i forgot what the card that fell off the fridge was and read it#it was a valentine's day card from this year from him#saying how he loves me forever to the moon and back and signing it off as your husband#i feel like i was so close to having such a beautiful and secure life. your husband#since the first proposal we've been calling each other husbands because at least i thought nothing would ever come between us#did i just wait too long?#but he proposed again in february just months before doing this to us#i'm so exhausted. i miss him so so tenderly. everything just feels wrong#and now i'm not reaching out per dustin's advice because as he said men will talk when they have something they want to share#i want to share every second of every day and every breath of mine with him#and i just can't fathom that someone who said he was so devoted to me can just turn all that off and walk away. it makes me question a lot#and that just fucking tears me apart more than anything. i'm trying so hard to trust him ik it's just trauma#i just want a reassurance.#that's all i need.#but idk if i can even trust it with how he's acted so far#i just want reassurance.
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cheswirls · 9 months ago
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no idea why ywr/iwf has gotten an influx of kudos over the past week but its been both a compliment and an irk tbh
#esp since its JUST been that one and nothing for pdf despite pdf being linked in the notes#i guess someone shared it again or at least thats the only reason i can think of rn#which is like..................gee sure would LOVE to see why someone liked reading it enough to share in their circle#if only there were some way.................to share positive opinions with a fic author...............................where they can see i#(this is THE reason i hated this fic for so long after completing it btw#if you like smth enough to rave abt it online plsplspls express that to the author as well#i appreciate kudos but they literally do nothing for me at this point yknow?#if you dont leave me a comment on ao3 or message me directly then how am i ever gonna know if#a fic of mine changed your life. like rly honestly srsly copy-paste your rambling after posting it wherever#and slap that shit onto an ao3 comment)#anyway this got long but i am so so tired#i hope everyone who read ywr/iwf this week also read pdf at some point bc i like that one better#like i would rather someone read both and only leave kudos on pdf but also like#this fic specifically (ywr/iwf) absolutely kills me a little inside bc i only found out how well-loved it is years later#and had i not been part of smth and been told that indirectly (and then directly by exactly one person) then i never would have known ever#which. like. yea i do still have a chip on my shoulder#i thought i wrote pdf as a follow-up and got over it but i guess the fuck not#anyway the last time i got an influx of kudos was bc someone recc'd it so maybe this time ill get smth more substantial out of it#(i say this not expecting anything actually mmmmmmm)
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insanechayne · 1 year ago
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~ ~ ~
#sometimes it feels like I got used and thrown away#you got what you wanted and now you’re done and I’m still trying to piece myself together again#but how do I tell you that without it causing a huge fight?#there’s so many things I want to say to you but I don’t know how to bring them up and there never seems to be an appropriate time to do so#and looking back on our old conversations and all those memories#reliving them and then deleting them#it’s cathartic and agonizing at the same time#I know I need to remove them from my life so I can try to move forward but fuck if I don’t miss those times we shared#and yeah I suppose if you never stopped us then I wouldn’t have thought to ask out my girlfriend and end up with her#so some good things have come from this pain#but I still can’t get you out of my head and that just makes me feel so guilty#I just want answers to all the questions I can’t bring myself to ask#and a weird sort of warmth spreads through me as I read those old conversations#the memories still give me tingles in my chest and I desperately miss that person you used to be with me#and I kind of want to cry for all I’ve lost and how things have changed so much#but how stupid would that be really? crying over someone who was never really mine to begin with#how do you get over someone you never even dated? someone you never knew except through a screen?#how do you move on from the one person who made you feel desired and wanted and liked after never having it before?#why does this have to be so hard? why can’t I just turn it off like you did?#I hate having emotions sometimes#personal
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starryjake · 2 months ago
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all yours | p.j
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in which you make jay feel better after he gets into a fight.
pairing: jay x fem!reader
includes: m and f receiving oral sex, mention of fighting, big dick jay, unprotected sex, cumming inside (lmk if i missed anything).
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“i can’t believe you, jay,” you said in dismay, pulling out your first aid kid from the closet.
“he was such a fucking asshole,” jay ranted. “douchebag had the audacity to say the shit he was saying and didn’t expect me to beat the shit out of him.”
you huffed, forcing him to sit on your bathroom countertop. you stood between his legs and started wiping the blood from his face while he continued talking.
“he was such a pussy,” jay scoffed. “could hardly fight for shit. needed his friends to back him up since he couldn’t throw a punch for the life of him. and i still beat him in a three versus one fight. embarrassing. honestly, i feel bad fo—”
“jay,” you interrupted, finally getting him to stop talking. “what did the guy even say?”
jay’s jaw clenched as the words repeated in his mind again, the words that made him angry enough to punch the guy right across the face in front of everyone at the party he was at.
“it doesn’t matter,” he grumbled.
“yes, it does,” you argued. “if it was bad enough for you to get in a fight then it does matter.”
jay sighed, speaking quickly when he said, “he was talking about you. disrespecting you. making comments about your body and how since you put out for me, then you’d put out for anyone. i couldn’t just stand there and not do anything, y/n.”
your eyebrows raised. you hadn’t realized that it even had anything to do with you.
“oh,” you said.
you rubbed some ointment over the spots on jay’s face where he was bleeding. he looked up at you in awe, still in dismay over how someone could say such nasty things about you when he knew that all you were was just a sweet, perfect girl.
“no one talks about my girl like that,” he said softly, reaching out to plant his hands on your hips and pull you in a little closer.
you laughed softly through your nose, placing a bandaid on his cheek.
“i’m not your girl,” you reminded.
sure, you weren’t officially dating, but it sure felt like it at times like this. you and jay were…something. not dating, but definitely not just friends.
in a perfect world, you would be dating, but it didn’t seem possible right now.
“i don’t care if you aren’t my girlfriend,” jay said. “you are my girl. you’re mine.”
“okay,” you whispered, your breath fanning his face.
“say it,” he demanded.
“i’m yours,” you said shyly. “all yours.”
jay pulled you in even closer and connected his lips to yours, completely melting at the feeling. he considered himself a strong, tough man, but if there was anything in the world that made him weak, it was you.
he entangled his fingers in your hair, lips moving slowly and carefully against yours, feeling you and tasting you.
you brought your hands down to his firm thighs, resting them there and slowly feeling the fabric of his jeans grow tighter and tighter.
he wrapped his arms around your waist, pressing you against him. he disconnected his lips from yours, moving down to your chin and to your neck. he sucked on the sensitive skin there, leaving bruises right for everyone to see without a care. he needed everyone to know who you belonged to.
you gripped the fabric from the back of his t-shirt and started pulling it up until he pulled away from you in order to take it off all together, leaving him shirtless on your bathroom counter.
unashamed, you took a good look. you shouldn’t have thought he looked good like this. he’d just gotten in a fight but fuck, he looked hot. his lip was split and there was a cut on his upper cheek. he looked all around bruised and it was turning you on more than you would like to admit.
he suddenly stood up from the counter and picked you up like you weighed nothing, easily scooping you into his arms. you buried your head in his neck and inhaled his musky scent as he started walking to your bedroom.
once there, he laid you down on your bed carefully and pressed his half naked body down against yours. you slithered your arms around his neck, pulling him back down to your lips.
he was warm pressed against you, but you needed more. you needed to be even closer to him.
you trailed your hand down his bare torso before landing at his bulge, palming him over his covered erection.
jay sighed into your mouth, pushing his cock into your hand to get more pressure. you squeezed it, feeling the outline clearly from how hard he was.
it didn’t take long for that to not be enough, so jay sat up on his knees in order to unbutton his jeans and pull them down his legs, leaving him in just his black boxers.
you tugged down the waistband enough to release his cock, so hard that it stood straight up. it was long and absolutely the perfect fit for your mouth and hole, like you and jay were truly meant to be.
just looking at his cock and feeling it pulsate in your grip, you craved it in your mouth. plus the way he was looking at you starting to jerk it off made you want to suck him off even more.
you leaned down, holding the shaft as you brought the enlarged tip in your mouth, pressing it against your tongue.
“fuck,” jay grunted, immediately bringing his hand down to your hair to pull it back into a ponytail, keeping it out of your face so considerately for you.
you pushed him further down your throat, squeezing your thighs together at the comforting feeling of having him in your mouth. this was exactly you wanted, to be this close to him.
as you hollowed your cheeks and began gliding your mouth up and down his shaft, he started sliding your sweater up your torso until it was bunched around your neck. you were wearing a thin little lacy bra that barely covered your tits.
jay squeezed your breasts as he stared down at your sucking him off like it was your job. never in his life has he gotten a blowjob even close to the way you gave blowjobs. you seemed like you actually enjoyed it, sucking his cock. you put your all into it while the other girls he’d been with barely sucked it for five minutes, desperate to just get fucked by him.
but you were everything. you enjoyed having the tip of his cock nudge against the back of your throat. you enjoyed the taste of his salty precum dripping down your throat.
you looked up at him through your lashes, moaning around his length like it was pleasuring you to suck him off. this is why you were his favorite.
“shit, baby,” he moaned.
he pulled you by your hair off his dick, caressing your face with his thumb while you caught your breath. he looked down at you in awe, feeling so undeserving to have you treat him so good.
he laid you down on your back and tugged you pants and underwear down in one go. he spread your legs, staring at your pussy which was already wet just from giving him head. he couldn’t resist it, he just had to have a taste.
leaning forward, he licked a stripe up from the bottom of your pussy to your clit, gathering all your wetness on his tongue as he went.
“fuck, jay,” you moaned so prettily.
he lapped at your cunt, his tongue making a wet sound every time he flicked your folds. your body felt like it was engulfed in flames from the sensation of him eating your pussy.
jay gripped your thighs, keeping them from closing in and squeezing around his head. he looked so fucking good between your legs, you couldn’t believe it. his sharp jawline was accentuated as he used the muscles to lick your folds up and down.
he brought his clit into your mouth, sucking on the pretty little nub before releasing it with a pop and going back to licking up and down your soaked slit.
the bruises on his face were more evident now with the time that had passed and you felt bad, partly feeling like it was your fault. you tugged on his hair, pulling him away from your pussy and forcing him to look at you. you traced your fingers over one of the bruises.
“what’s wrong?” he asked, noticing the way your demeanor changed.
“does it hurt?” you wondered.
“no,” he lied.
his face was pulsating. you knew he was lying too.
he sat up on his knees and you joined him at his level, leaning in to his face to plant a soft kiss on each one of his bruises. he absolutely melted, leaning into your touch like you were healing his wounds with just a kiss.
“my sweet girl,” he whispered in utter dismay.
how you could go from getting head from him to kissing his bruises in less than a minute was beyond him.
“please fuck me now,” you whispered back.
and now you were back to being dirty.
jay smirked, pushing you back down onto your mattress. you two rid yourselves out of your remaining clothes until you were both entirely naked.
jay slid his hand up and down his cock a few times before deeming it ready to be inside you. he lined his dripping tip up with your eager hole and slowly pushed inside, feeling your warm walls envelope him.
your eyes were clenched shut from the same pain you always endured when jay first slid inside. he was just too big, but it was one of your favorite things about him. by that point, you two had been fucking each other long enough that you were used to the pain. it didn’t last long anymore.
once he was bottomed out inside of you, he rubbed your stomach, feeling the tip of his cock bulge against your pelvis.
“please,” you whimpered, raising your hips up in desperation.
“i know, sweetheart,” he cooed, caressing your soft skin.
he pulled out slightly before pushing back in, starting his thrusts slow. you threw your head back as he fucked you deeply. you could feel it so much, every time he pushed his cock in and pulled it out, the friction against your walls.
as his thrusts sped up, he brought his fingers down in between your bodies and started rubbing your clit, adding to your pleasure. you clenched around him already.
“feels so fucking good,” you cried, looking up at him above you.
“i know, angel,” he replied deeply. “you’re always so tight for me. so tight and so warm for me, yeah?”
“yeah,” you nodded pathetically, clenching around him again just from the way he was talking to you.
his pace was much swifter then, fast enough that the sound of his legs hitting the back of your thighs echoed in your bedroom. plus, you were moaning like it was your first time getting fucked by him, but it just felt too good every single time. his dick was too good, good enough that you wished you could be his girlfriend.
“you’re so fuckin’ wet,” he grunted. “i can barely keep my fingers on your clit.”
your arousal was literally spilling out around his cock, making your puffy clit almost too slippery to keep his fingers on. you wrapped your hand around his wrist and kept it against your pussy so they wouldn’t slip. jay groaned out at that, at how effortlessly fucking sexy you were.
jay started fucking you as hard as he could then, needing to make a complete mess out of you because you made a complete mess out of him without even trying.
he pounded into your pussy, drilling you into your mattress and all you could do was take it and whine like a cock slut. you did feel like at times, you were a slut for his cock.
“fuck yes!” you cried, nails clawing into his abs. “fuck me! harder, jay!”
he gripped the top of your headboard and fucked you impossibly harder, your entire body jolting with the effort he was giving. your tits bounced right in front of him and his cock twitched, warning that he could cum soon.
“fuuuuck, baby,” he growled, grabbing one of your tits in his hands and squeezing harshly. “love this dick, don’t you? tell me you love it.”
“yes, jay!” you yelled. “shit, i love your dick. oh my god, i need you to fuck me for the rest of my life.”
jay felt like he could black out. you were so perfect.
his abs clenched and he felt it coming fast.
“i’m gonna fucking cum,” he warned, his hips still slamming into you. “where do you want me, baby?”
“inside me!”
jay thought he actually did black out then.
he felt you clench around him suddenly, reaching your orgasm without even telling him. your eyes filled with tears from the mere pleasure of it.
“that’s it, baby,” he cooed, still furiously chasing his own orgasm.
“i love you,” you moaned out as you came around his cock.
jay let out a deep moan, felt his cock twitch one more time inside you, and then he was dumping his big load right inside your pussy.
“i love you,” he replied, holding you close to him as he released everything he had into you.
he came for what felt like a lifetime, intense and exhausting. as soon as he finished, he felt like he couldn’t even keep himself upright anymore.
he pulled out of you, watching the cum spill from your pussy and onto your sheets. he then laid down beside you, pulling you into his chest and kissing the top of your head.
“you’re perfect,” he told you, squeezing you tight and keeping you close. “i love you so much.”
“i love you more,” you mumbled tiredly against his chest.
a few minutes passed without either of you saying anything. he wasn’t sure if you fell asleep or not but he spoke up again anyway.
“i wish you really could be mine.”
-
wait the lore tho?? like why can’t they date!!! idk lowkey thinking of making this a series IDK GUYS!!!
thank you for reading <33
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neostellarjpg · 2 months ago
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inner mono-dialogue
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the more time i spend being davepeta with you the more i realize almost every single problem in my life was caused by my obsession with being this unfeeling cool dude
but youre cool already
like in the way that actually matters
youre chill and friendly and just nice and thats all there is to it
youre shamelessly yourself even if everybody around you is a jackass and gives you shit for it
youre similar to jade and john in that way
i really envied that about them
but its different actually being at the control panel and feeling where that earnesty comes from
it makes me wanna match your energy and keep that pawsitivity ball rolling even if it ends up being weird or cringe or whatever
fuck man do you know how exhausting it is building yourself social hoops to leap through all the time and when you trip up even once its suddenly the end of the world
what kinda dumbass does that its like dealing with life in hard mode for no reward
fuck that noise
i like your way better
Nepeta's heart burns and shines inside you.
:33 < thank you :))
:33 < but you know
:33 < i dont think doing things your way is unrewarding
:33 < its like
:33 < a shield!
Dave scrunches up with discomfort.
X33 < i dont mean that in an insulting way!
:33 < the fact is that shields are just purractical sometimes
:33 < it doesnt make you cowardly to hide behind one
:33 < in the same way that it isnt cowardly for a predator to hide in the bushes when stalking prey
:33 < its just a way to make sure you dont get hurt!
:33 < purrsonally i found shields too cumbersome
X33 < im a hunter after all!
:33 < and i guess maybe the same goes for my personality
:33 < its not really that im purrticularly brave for being myself
:33 < i just didnt have a say in the matter in the furst place!
:33 < honestly if i had a choice i would have loved to be more like you dave
:33 < you can befriend people almost effortlessly
:33 < and its beclaws youre also just a nice person
Dave recoils in surprise, but Nepeta passionately pushes forward.
:33 < fur real! i f33l it inside you! theres a really strong sense of empathy there
:33 < its just like mine! just smarter, and a bit more analytical
:33 < whenever we encounter someone mew, its like i f33l you lock onto them, and you gather so many insights into their purrsonality without even trying
:33 < and you can use that to bond with others without giving every part of you away
:33 < which unfortunately
:(( < i never really knew how to do
Nepeta sours with unpleasant feelings. Your brows scrunch together with both pain and sympathy.
Nepeta has a big and complex heart. She tried her best to keep it from spilling over, but it always did in the end. And it was embarrassing. It was embarrassing when your friends dismissed your hobbies or focused in on your strange quirks. It was embarrassing when they revealed they knew about your crush on Karkat that you'd worked so hard to hide. And it hurt whenever he would say mean things about you. He and anyone else.
But you always puffed out your chest and sucked it up. You stuck to your guns no matter what. Because it was fun! The things you liked, the people you liked, were fun, and they made you feel good. Why couldn't anyone else see that? And why did it seem like they never gave a single thought to who you were?
You curl in on yourself. Your chest hurts. You suddenly really miss Equius.
And you miss Rose. You miss Jade. You miss John and Karkat and Aradia and Tavros and Terezi and all the others. You miss all the people you can go outside and see whenever you wish, and you miss all the people that you have no hope of ever seeing again. You feel the choral echo of all the times you've ever felt this need for comfort, this thrumming pain searing hot inside you, like hunger wracking your stomach.
You clench your teeth. You remember being on your bed, curled in blankets, not having eaten a proper meal in days. You remember holding your stomach and sneaking to the kitchen, turning your shoulder at every step to look fearfully behind you, only for your fingers to falter hopelessly on the handle of the refrigerator, knowing there was nothing for you inside.
You shake with anger. You know that feeling. The feeling of being chased by something much bigger than you, a hulking silhouette of menacing strength following your scent through the thicket. You'd clutched a beast carcass to your chest, barely breathing as you stalked clumsily through the trees, performance wavering from exhaustion and hunger.
You'd almost died. You'd almost died often. And then after escaping death so many times, it one day claimed you. Casually. Unflinchingly. And the world beat on without you, leaving you stunned by your own insignificance. You'd looked out onto every preceding moment of your life, wondering if there was anything to truly be proud of in the face of your friends accomplishing all these fantastical things. You'd felt lonely before, but after that, you were truly walled off from every single person you knew.
And now, despite everything, you're alive again. Twofold, together with someone.
A warmth coats the ache inside your body. The two parts of you swirl together, feeling and tasting each other, trying to understand themselves.
It feels like a hug.
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hottestvirgin · 7 months ago
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TRUST ME | PARK SUNGHOON
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₊˚⊹ ᰔ plot. after months and months of convincing, you finally let your boyfriend go further.
₊˚⊹ ᰔ warnings(17+). smut, sex, virginity loss, dirty talk, corruption, manipulation, name-calling, rough sex.
₊˚⊹ ᰔ A/N. thank you sm for 1K! i'm still taking requests and i'm sorry for disappearing for damn near a month so here's a lil sumn <3
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“you trust me?” sunghoon asked, licking his plush lips with a small glint in his eyes. of course you did. he was your boyfriend after all— someone you trusted more than anything.
and of course, sunghoon loved you. but he wanted more. he couldn’t kiss you without fantasizing about how you’d feel around him; snug and warm. he would fist his cock every night at the thought of your tight, wet cunt around him, squeezing and milking him all he’s worth.
he'd think about how sensitive your pretty body would be since he’d be the first man to ever touch you. and most of all, he couldn’t wait to turn you into his desperate slut who'd beg for his dick with any chance you'd get.
“of course,” you told him. deep down, you knew that those two words would change everything and finally grant him full access to your body for once. you were ready, and so sunghoon quickly found himself in between your thighs, franticly rocking into you.
“keep talking to me, baby,” he ragged, slowly and painfully splitting you open on his thick cock with each pump of his hips. “let everyone know who the fuck owns this pussy now.”
all you knew was to clench around him, the foreign pleasure sending intense shockwaves throughout your body that you couldn't handle. “b-baby—i can’t.. can’t take it!” you mewled. goosebumps formed all over your body as you held onto anything that was accessible; sheets, pillows, his thick arm.
but in sunghoon's defense, he was too lost in your warmth and wetness. he used and bruised your pulsing hole like a sex toy, rutting into you with every muscle in his body. he loved how your dripping cunt struggled to accommodate his size, fluttering walls stretching painfully just to take him.
“you’re so soft,” he grunted. his thumb slid between both of your hot bodies to stroke your swollen clit and you clenched harder around him with a sudden gasp. “mm, you like when i touch that slutty pussy?” he delivered a powerful slap against the bud, “hm?”
“yes! ah.. love it.” you hiccupped and threw your head back against the pillow, hands gripping onto his forearms as he continued to rut into your body. nothing could have prepared you for this. he was obsessed and drunk on how small and helpless you looked beneath him, each drag of his cock had you holding your breath and wanting more.
sunghoon let out a low, rough grunt. “this pussy’s mine now. say it for me.” your boyfriend licked his lips and embraced your body, stomach-churning at the lewd faces you made.
“i-it’s yours.” you moaned, voice shaky and needy. everything's so wet, sloppy, and messy. he could feel his balls getting tighter, that aching feeling in his abdomen that could only fill his mind with the idea of pumping you full of his cum. "what’s mine baby?” he squeezed your thighs and increased his pace, chuckling when your words got caught in your throat.
your breath hitched when you felt his tip stroke that spot again, “my pussy.. s’ yours.” it was almost a yell. he pinned your wrists above your head, “good girl.” he praised.
legs trembling against his body, nails digging into his shoulders, incoherent noises leaving your mouth.. you couldn't even focus anymore because all you could think about was your man and his fat cock reaching and poking the deepest parts of you.
you were drooling— sentences coming to a start before fading away. at that moment, you wanted more. you needed more. you wanted him to go deeper, faster, harder— to make it hurt so bad that it feels so good. you wanted him in ways you've never felt before.
"i'm gonna cum." he whimpered with small, shaky breaths. it made your stomach twist in arousal, it was so fucking hot. you loved how your body had him like this. he nuzzled his sweaty face into your neck, "f-fuck.. Y/N."
he continued to punch breathless moans out of you, squeezing your hips in desperation. it didn't take much time before you were convulsing around him, your body tensing and coating his base with a creamy, white ring. and he continued to fucked his cum into you, making you glad that you said those two words.
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6okuto · 2 years ago
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WEDDING MOMENTS
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gn!reader | kuroo, bokuto, akaashi, hinata, atsumu, osamu, ushijima
hello everyone i'm back 🫶 these are more reception moments than wedding but y'know. give me a break man...
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KUROO leans in and whispers in your ear as you dance, “is it bad i want to go home and just lie in bed with you now?” “why are you whispering as if someone can hear you?” you snicker back. tetsurou shoots you a cheeky smile. “so it looks like i’m saying something romantic.” you hit his shoulder, and he only laughs before pulling you into a tight hug. you wait for him to let go before replying. “idiot. but no, it isn’t. my back and feet hurt.” he hums, and you can feel his fingers tapping your back. “do you think it’s possible for newly weds to sneak out of their own wedding reception?”
BOKUTO is walking down the aisle again as everyone disperses to talk or get ready for the reception. you walk up to him, curiosity piqued as he bends down. “what are you doing?” “huh?” he drops a few petals that he was clutching. “crap—hi, baby. i’m just, uh, picking up some of the flowers to take with us. i saw someone do it online, and i thought we could press them or put them somewhere,” he explains softly, as if a little embarrassed. your heart flutters at the thought, and you smile before reaching down yourself. “we better get some flowers, then. and a ziploc bag or something.”
AKAASHI relaxes and rests his head against yours while you watch your guests mingling and dancing. you reach for his hand and intertwine fingers. “you okay?” he nods in response and presses a chaste kiss to your jaw. “yeah, i can finally calm down and not worry about something terrible happening.” “mm, something terrible could still happen.” “love of my life, can you please give your husband a break?” keiji blows air against your skin, eliciting a laugh from you. his tone is light, and you can feel him smiling even while you apologize.
HINATA takes one of the polaroid cameras that you got for the guests. you watch as he poses and takes a picture of himself before handing it to you. “do you want me to take a selfie?” he nods with a grin. “yeah! and also sign it so i can put it in my wallet, or maybe the back of my phone?” his sentence ends as a question to himself. you get your phone so you can check your appearance before mimicking your now husband’s pose. “sho, i swear if mine is bad i want a redo,” you say. he sputters as he looks at his forming photo. “well that’s good because i definitely screwed mine up. i’m like half in the frame.”
ATSUMU’s knee bounces as the video of your relationship the both of you got done nears its end. you shoot him a look, but he doesn’t seem to notice, gaze fixed on the scene. that’s when you hear a familiar voice, but unfamiliar clip start to play. “it’s, fuck, what day is it? november 13, and i’m pretty sure i need t’look for an engagement ring,” your now husband says into the camera. you gape, shock evident across your face. atsumu’s voice is soft as he says your name. “i love you, really. and if you’re seeing this then i didn’t fuck this up, and you decided to marry me, and i’m probably ‘bout to have a heart attack,” he nervously laughs. you turn to atsumu next to you, whose face is flushed red. “don’t look at me, the video isn’t done yet.”
OSAMU keeps holding your hand, and if he isn’t holding it he’s probably thinking of doing so. you don’t mind, finding comfort in the way he rubs the back of it. you’re sitting together when he silently reaches for it again. “i’m pretty sure you’ve held my hand more today than this entire week.” osamu rolls his eyes but smiles. you stare as he gently takes hold of your ring and fidgets with it. “sorry, can’t stop thinkin’ about how we’re actually married now.” you stare at each other, and he rests his chin in his palm. with his other hand, he brings yours up to press gentle kisses against the ring and your skin. “just another excuse to stay close t’you.”
USHIJIMA looks over when you poke his shoulder, and quickly realizes you’re trying to feed him some cake. “say ahh,” you sing song. it’s a half-joke, and you don’t fully expect him to accept, but he leans forward and opens his mouth, hand underneath the fork to catch any crumbs. despite his serious expression and stature, you can't help but think he looks cute. “i know we picked this flavour, but does it taste good?” you ask. wakatoshi nods. “it was a good choice.” he gets a forkful for who you assume is himself. but instead he lifts it toward you. “do you want to try now?”
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@devilgirlcrybabiey @lordbugs @smiithys @xfangirl-trashx @passionateuchiha @scaramouchesfootstool @fifteenshadesofpinkk @lotus-sukimono @chloee0x0 @kenmaslov3r @bakugosgrenade @semifilms @sakusasdirtyragdoll @dai-tsukki-desu @Thathoneybee3 @momoewn @aintgeluh @dazaisfavgf @simpforerenn @crystal-lilac @vhenis @omiigad @kur0-kawa @semispilledcoffee @ksyhmm @idontlikeyourjob @sparrowb3nscloset @awkwardaardvarkforever @rory-cakes @prblmtic @dimslover @kuroaka @vampyrkookie @sunaslay @the-midnightskies @h0n3ysgh0st @lackey-laufeyson @bontensbabygirl @dira333 @Kamukayakmonyet @danyisapingu @isentsworld @lilithlunas @anime-ships-gay @todorokiskitten @kellesvt @scill-a @curiouslilbeast @fiona782 @cvhenia @mitskiologist
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thesacrificialdove · 2 months ago
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THE BITCHING PROJECT
[ patreon | masterlist | inbox | taglist | home | req. & comms ]
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— it's like you were secretly asking for this !! degration kink, rough sex, dubious consent, deflowering, light dumbification, semi-public sex, manipulation ✧ ft.: yandere student council ✧ cast: nerd f!reader
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His hand grasps your hair as you choke around his girth. There's tears brimming in your eyes. Anxiety and confusion are washed away by the growing arousal in your stomach—this isn't normal. You've never been treated like this before. He's using your mouth like a ragdoll.
"Fuck," he moans, obsessing over the way your unexperienced tongue lays flat on the underside of his cock. "Such a good fucking bitch. How does it feel with your nose buried in my cock and not some books, huh?"
Nothing prepared you for the way this man is in the dim light: he's unlike his smile like a warm setting sun, hands tender to the brief passing touch, and voice an echo of hope and cheer.
He's fucking your throat like it's his newest assignment. Studiously, he memorises the plump of your lips and the heat in your throat. There's something primal yet meticulous about how he thrusts into your mouth. It's like he's thought this over and over again.
Your hands struggle for grip on his hips; he won't relent in his pace. Dizziness presents as you can't think straight—his cock the only thing that you can think of.
A guttural moan leaves him. "Can't believe you'd fall for some s-stupid shit like this. Now you're all fucking mine—" he pulls out, the head of his cock on your lips—"you like that, huh? Like belonging to me? I'll make you forget about your classes and I'll keep your cunt strapped on my cock instead."
There's a string of saliva that connects his cock to your lips. He plays with it, having fun smearing it all over your chin. The humiliation is tattooed in your brain.
You agreed to meet him because the Dean planned to give you the scholarsip—something you've been working so hard for. It's a lie. How could you have known someone from the student council would lie to you just to get their dick wet?
"Hey, hey," he pulls you up, sitting you on a desk. "What are you thinking about, baby? You're thinking too hard. Come on, I know you feel good."
And you do. Because after all of this, you still got a big fucking crush on him.
"S-stop it, please," you try to say. "I'm... I'm sorry if I did anything wrong but—"
He laughs. "You did nothing wrong. I love you, I do. But you're just to gullible. You have to know how adorable you look when you think everything you want is going to be handed over to you on a plate."
Red paints your face. Your heart churns at his words but he's standing between your legs with his cock wetting the inside of your thighs. Your cunt is being exposed with an easy pull of your panties to the side. The conflict of arousal and humiliation is too much to handle.
"How about this, hm? I'm going to fuck you better and tomorrow, let's see you beg for the Dean's cock to get that scholarship?"
There's contradictions on your tongue. It's taken out of you when he pulls your hips—his cock sliding between your folds and fucking you raw.
"F-fuck!" You cry. It's too big. His cock stretches you more than your fingers ever had, easily breaking the littlest resistence your hymen had. It makes you cry. Your heart hammers against your ears. It pulses in time with your cunt convulsing around him.
He's breathing against your cheeks; with the way he's out of breath, it's like he's enjoying taking your virginity like this. "Holy... fuck—did you never have a guy in here before?" he asks, as if he needs confirmation. "You're so fucking tight. I need you to loosen up for me, babe."
Not a single effort was made to get you to relax. He pulls back and fucks you right in, ignoring your pained little whimpers as it's being overshadowed by your moans. You're conflicted but he's so assured. Though your brain runs wild, your pussy sucks him in and is getting wetter by the second.
"So fucking good," he moans. "Tight fucking slut for me."
"I've never—agh! Never... had—!"
He chuckles as he bruises your hips with his hold. "I can fucking tell, baby. Shit. I can feel your cute little pussy hug my cock so tight. You love it so bad, don't you? I bet you fucking waited to be defiled by a cock this big."
You can barely muster a breath, nonetheless a word to deny him. It’s cruel how he pistons his hips. Your legs are in the air, toes clenching as half of his cock barely breaches inside of you. You’re gripping him with a vice, the pain dulling with the hot moans he breathes through your skin.
“God, that’s it,” his mouth instinctively opens as he spreads your folds open. Your pussy is spread. on the girth, his eyes trained onto where his cock disappears inside of you. You can tell he’s lost himself in the sensation when he has to swallow down his own spit.
He’s moaning, a growl emitting from him when you squeeze him. “Loosen the fuck up!” His hand presses against your stomach, trapping you on the wooden desk. “God, shit. For someone eager to take a cock in you’re so not prepared.”
The new angle just rubs your g-spot. A strangled moan involuntarily leaves you, his response being a dark grin spreading on his face. Knowing now, he continues to rubs up that spot. You want to pull your legs together but it’s tightly locked in his grasp. Toes curling, you tense up as he thrusts faster inside of you.
“S-so…” you gasp, hands gripping the edge of the table as you move with the force of his thrusts. “So fucking—so fucking good, haaah..!”
With each thrust, you lose yourself to the pleasure. Your cunt perfectly welcomes him in, even sucking him inside just to keep it rubbing against those nerves. You don’t remember a time feeling this good. The stretch is almost gone. Broken cries of pleasure are being punched out of you. He’s merciless and chases his own high, yet you’re being dragged along as you feel yourself soak and leak.
“Fuck,” he mutters, “I knew you’d love being fucked by me. I’ve been…. shit! I’ve been seeing you shake your cute little ass since you came. here. Knew you were so desperate to be claimed by me.”
He groans low in his throat. Swiftly, he throws your legs together on one side of his shoulders, fucking his cock deep inside of you. The new angle reaches further, your legs shaking from the intense feeling of being used like a toy for him. Your pleasure is undeniable. If you could see yourself, you would see your wet cunt drooling as your face is molded into a face of intoxication.
You can’t help it anymore. The slow yet deep thrusts spreads tingles from your pussy to the rest of your body. “‘m close…” you mutter, struggling to find diction. “So close—hng!”
“I didn’t hear you, “ he pulls on your hair from the roots, tugging it with enough force to electrocute your nerves there. “I can’t fucking hear you with your pussy gushing all over me.”
Cheeks turning a bright red, you try to cover yourself as he thrusts deep and short for emphasis. You can hear yourself make wet sounds with each movement. His words only make you wetter.
Trying to gather yourself, you take a deep breath with a hand over head your head. “I wanna cum, I need it so bad please… Need to cum on. your cock so b-bad!” You cry, surprised you could even form words when all you can think. about is that hot rod inside of you.
He’s forgiving. “Good fucking girl,” he sighs in relief as he continues his animalistic thrusts. The desk creaks each time and you would be worried for its durability if not for his hand lowering to play with your clit.
“Cum for me, cum for your new owner.”
The cock breaching your once-virgin pussy and the your clit being fondled only ushers you closer and closer to an orgasm. You couldn’t even warn him. With both hands reaching for his shoulders, a moan leaves you so loud you’re so everyone in the hallway could hear you.
You’re shivering. Your body is worn out and his cock pulls out of you—your orgasm flowing out as his own spurts on your face to your neck. He had clumsily aimed at your face, the angle awkward with your body half sat on the table. But the liquid splashed to your a bit of your lips, the taste of his release odd yet so erotic.
“Shit,” he mutters, the relief washing over him. You can see the satisfaction in his face; the slight upward tilt of his smile, the heavy breathing, his eyes examining every part of your body, all of it a testament to his amusement to having just defiled you.
There’s no need to speak. Finally, for the first time, he pushes his lips against yours.
In your years living, you haven’t given away your first kiss. In this moment, he had successfully taken two first times with you. His kiss reflects his previous desire to make his mark in your cunt. Breath hot, he pushes his tongue inside your mouth and is determined to lick every part of it.
You’re weak in his grasp. Every limb is numb and your pussy is still tingling. He’s kissing you how he wants as you simply struggle to breathe correctly. Your head is dizzy. There’s a cloud within your thoughts, simply unable to comprehend anything that is happening.
With a bite to your lower lip, that grounds you back to reality. He laughs into the kiss before placing his lips on your neck.
“So fucking dumb now,” he laughs, “don’t worry, sweetheart. I’ll make sure you’ll get a reward for servicing my cock.”
Being his broken-in slut doesn’t seem so bad.
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UPDATE ! 📢 @wiltedpoison @elloredef @alureasoley
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@ 𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐒𝐀𝐂𝐑𝐈𝐅𝐈𝐂𝐈𝐀𝐋𝐃𝐎𝐕𝐄 this story is original and is not allowed to be shared without credits. do not plagiarise, feed to ai, or claim as yours.
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cheyisagirlkisser · 2 months ago
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. ✦ .R U Mine? FWB Ellie x Reader. ✦
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Content: JACKSON ELLIE X FEM! READER, Alcohol consumption, friends with benefits, mentions of casual sex, some angst, Cat is Ellie's ex-girlfriend in this fic, making out in the rain, nipple play (r! receiving), fingering (r! receiving), scissoring, happy ending this is definitely an emotional roller coaster though, set in TLOU universe in which reader and Ellie are young adults, Joel is still alive and mentioned, Jesse and Dina are in a relationship in this, I know the pic is Seattle Ellie but this is still set in Jackson.
Word Count: 6.5k
A/N: I know I literally just said I'd be releasing this in a week, get tricked. (I spent hours editing to finish this but it was so worth it)
Description: Ellie has always been bad with emotions. Dina tells you that what seems like everyday at this point. Still, you can't help but notice the way she leaves the morning after your nights together. You can feel the tension in the way she pretends like nothing happens during patrol together. Just when you think you finally have the situation figured out, it blows up in your face.
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 "How drunk are you?" Dina's voice echoes in your head, making you turn away from your current view and back onto the current conversation.
"Uhhhhhh…..however drunk you want me to be?” You giggle at Dina’s failed attempt to stifle a laugh.
“You are so doomed tomorrow..don’t you have patrol with Jesse?! And I thought you were gonna try to go talk to Ellie and make things less awkward..” Dina looks at you more sternly now.
You groan. “It’s not like it’ll even fuckin’ matter, she’ll just ignore me like she always does. Like she’s doing right now.” 
You know that was a bit over dramatic, but it’s not untrue. Ellie and you have been seeing each other - no, fucking, for the past few months. Every single time you’re in public together, she mostly acts weird towards you, feigning disinterest. The act she puts on is hard to believe when she’s between your legs making you cum your brains out the next day. It’s not like you don’t understand the difference between love and lust. You absolutely understand it, especially in a place like Jackson where getting attached to someone can be riskful. However, Ellie is never a quick fuck-and-leave. Not only is the sex amazing, but she tells you things in the voice she limits for only you to hear, and things she says never make you wonder if she means them. Her actions, however, have you lost. 
Ellie was a friend before all of this. She was no childhood friend who grew up with you but simply someone who you connected to well, and well was an understatement. You know almost everything about her, from her favorite rations to bring on long supply runs to her shower routine. Now, the two of you are really at a limbo; the patrols since the first hook-up have all been awkward, with Ellie being extremely quiet or overly nice, which may seem like a good thing but once again you know Ellie. She has never been the type to keep her mouth shut and clean. The crude jokes and sarcasm are your favorite pieces of her personality, and you just assumed at first that it was just her getting used to the dynamic. However, as time continues, it is still just as weird, and the two of you are hooking up just as often. 
Currently, you’re wasted to no ends at a party in Jackson you wish you didn’t even go to. Of course, Ellie’s here joking around with Jesse in the far left of the backyard like nothing is weird between the two of you. Again, it may be dramatic, but you just hate the fact that you have to keep it all a secret from everyone. (You told Dina as soon as it happened, but that’s because you can’t keep secrets from your best friend!) You know that from the beginning, it was always supposed to be sex and a friendship. Both of you didn’t want a ton of commitment, but that changed overtime as the hook-ups started to last longer and the aftercare went from sitting in bed together to holding each other like lovers do. Dina warned you that Ellie isn’t good with her feelings, but it causes bitterness within you when she kisses the top of your head the other night then refuses to even say hi to you at a party.
You sigh, turning your attention back away from Ellie once more and onto Dina, who is trying her best to lecture you on why you should just talk to Ellie instead of letting the situation get so awkward, but you’re not really hearing her. You’re not typically a melancholic drunk, but Ellie really has a knack for bringing that side out of you, especially when she’s halfway across the yard talking Jesse’s head off and refusing to make eye-contact. Every time she laughs, it stabs at your heart. Not because she’s happy, but because you want to be the one to cause that feeling in her. You want to be the reason she smiles and giggles, you want to hear all of the swear words she wants to say and the stupid jokes she likes to come up with. You honestly miss her, and you know it’s stupid that you even fell for her, but you hope that someday things will at least be normal once more. Not that you wanna lose the sex, though.
Dina drags you over to the mentioned group and forces her boyfriend Jesse to escort you home. You don’t argue back. You’re too sad to argue and it’s embarrassing to be on the verge of tears as Ellie’s silence next to is continued.
-
You can’t help but think of Ellie, even when you’re all snug in your bed and half-conscious. It’s the memory of her face as you walked away and how she glanced over to you but never spoke up. She would have made your day so much better with a simple ‘hello.’ It’s not her fault, you tell yourself. It was never ever her fault but yours. Still, you feel so bitter wondering where it all went wrong for you. 
Usually, you never experienced such a level of attachment to one person. It’s not like love was new and you were far from a virgin when you and Ellie first hooked up, but something about her is engraved in your head and you just can’t escape it. You picture the button-like curve of her nose and the way light reddens her hair, a color that is almost impossible to make out in the confines of the indoors. Sometimes, you wonder if Ellie was born to be part of nature. She smells so Earthly and the way she moves, converse padding through grass, it’s like when you see someone practicing a hobby meant for them: you just know it’s meant to be that way. You used to love going on patrol with her for that reason, to be able to see her so comfortably scavenging and on Shimmer’s back. Now, it’s stiff and awkward, and the sense of fate that you feel when seeing her do what she is so naturally good at is challenged by her distance. 
Deep within your thoughts, you’re pulled out by a creak and the sound of your window opening. You quickly sit up, attempting to dry your tears with your sleeve when you see Ellie clumsily diving into your bedroom. Usually in the circumstance of being angry with someone, you know that you would tell them to fuck off. Ellie, however, cannot be told that. Her charm on you is far too wrapped around you like vines to concrete and so you laugh even through the tears. 
“Your window is fuckin’ narrow, you know.” 
“I wouldn’t know. I use the front door.” Despite the snark in your words, your voice cracks slightly as you sniffle and try to hold back the hot tears. 
Ellie sighs, and you can tell she is holding back. You hate this, the way conversation still flows at little points in time before continuing onto becoming nothing but awkward, stiff silence. Ellie surprises you and moves quickly to sit on your bed near you, pulling you into her arms. 
You know you shouldn’t crumble, but you do. Her embrace is so warm despite the fact that tomorrow it’ll be non-existent, and so you cling onto her while you still can. Your tears dribble down your cheeks and onto her shirt where the material grows damp. She only holds you tight, not making any further moves. Somehow, that is worse than the latter. The idea that this is what the relationship (if you can even call it that) has become is so emotionally involved, now there is no doubt that there is more, but there won’t be in the morning. 
You grieve the moment for what it could’ve been and fall asleep in Ellie’s arms as she coos you so softly, whispering sweet reassurances, only taking your tears as drunken sadness and not for what it was - her own doing. 
When you were once a young girl, you found comfort in the sound of clocks. The rhythmic tick, tick, tick lulled you to sleep. Now, you awake to the same ticking coming from the round clock mounted on your wall by a nail behind it. The familiar sunlight is plastering the bed in patterns much like time itself, telling you that the day is ahead of you and that you cannot sleep it off for much longer. Of course, Ellie’s presence is lacking. She left before you woke up. It hurts more than the other times that you opened your eyes to see that the girl you slept with the night before had left you, because she held you so dearly the previous night in a way that is always more than friendly or sexual. The inbetween of that must be hard for her to differentiate. 
You arrive at the East gates around 8 am, and Jesse is there waiting for you with a polite smile on his face. 
“Hey. You ready to head out?” 
“Yeah, sorry if I’m running a bit late.”
Jesse lets out a small laugh at that. “I won’t hold you to it. You were pretty hammered last night.” 
You avoid his teasing gaze, knowing full-well his words ring true. You were embarrassingly drunk last night, and you probably said some things to him that you don’t even remember now, but he definitely does. 
“You act like you weren’t drinking too!” 
“Oh, please. I’ve been drunk but not that drunk. You were white-girl wasted.” 
That makes you laugh, but at the same time your heart clenches along with your uneasy stomach. That’s a term one freckle-faced girl is known for saying because of Joel. 
“Can we just get on with patrol now?” Jesse rolls his eyes at your whiny tone and short dismal, but nods anyway and begins to signal for the guards to open up the large gates. You sigh, taking reluctant steps out of Jackson along with him. “My head’s killing me and I need to get this over with so that I can go home and nap.”
The first 30 minutes of patrol goes just as expected, the trek to the neighborhood you were assigned to clear and search through is long and boring. Jesse isn’t much of a talker when it comes to patrols, usually sticking to professionalism. That doesn’t surprise you much. While Jesse likes to drink and have a good time, he’s always taken patrol seriously. You recall countless times you’ve heard him scold other people for not taking their work seriously enough, and you partially understand. The lives of the people in Jackson all count on each other to do their jobs efficiently. Still, you know that patrol can be boring and nerves can be high. Sometimes, people just need to have a bit of humor in their lives to keep things from getting too grim. Afterall, leading an overall grim life as a patroller is no way to live. It’d tear your spirit out, starting from the inside. 
However, as you reach the building, Jesse stops in his tracks. His usual disposition is broken and he turns to you with a sigh. 
“Listen..” He struggles to find the words, “I just wanted to talk to you about something that I’ve noticed.”
You hope this isn’t going where you think it is. “Yeah?”
“Ellie’s one of my best friends, and I can tell something’s going on between the two of you, even if she won’t tell me.” He notices your visible discomfort at the mention of Ellie, but presses on. “I’m just warning you that she’s not good with her feelings. She can be all awkward and weird about them, but you’re a good person. I know she cares about you.” 
You don’t answer immediately, a bit caught off guard by his words. Still, they resonate with you. You’ve heard this from Dina too, but you previously wondered if she was only wanting to give you a soft landing. Dina, as much as you love her, has a tendency to try to avoid hurting your feelings. Jesse is quite the opposite, and you know that what he says has meaning to it. 
“Thanks, Jesse.” You give him a slight smile, and he nods. 
“Just talk to her, okay? You guys are both great. You deserve better than whatever the fuck you’ve got goin’ on.” 
You can’t help but laugh slightly at that despite anxiety churning through you. If Jesse sees potential, why can’t it be realistic to think that you and Ellie have a shot at being more than just friends who often have sex? Why can’t you be girlfriends?
The rest of the patrol is still half better, half worse. You’re anxious about actually talking to Ellie about your feelings and the aching from the previous night hasn’t faded. The task of taking out infected is just as dreadful because you know that in any moment, all of your current problems can become squabble compared to the issue you’d be faced with if a bite were to be imprinted into your flesh. It’d be tragic. Still, you have hope. You carry hope with you that soon, you may get to make some progress with her and get out of this weird spot. You think about that hope every moment that your knife is plunged into the rotten fungi-covered skin of another clicker. 
Before, your plan was to make a bee-line for your own house and sleep off the liquor from the night before, to get some actual sleep. Now, your feet seem to lead you to the path of Ellie’s garage. You’re just ready to see her and get the difficult conversation over with so that you can finally know how she feels.
On the way, your heart races with hope and fear. Questions circle around your head like bees swarming their hive; will Ellie reciprocate your feelings? Even if she does, will she want to actually be in a relationship with you? She may not even feel the same way.. You have to stop yourself from going overboard. As you reach her little garage, you take a deep breath and mentally count the seconds in your head.
Tick, tick, tick…One, two, three..
Everything will be fine. Even if this doesn’t work out, you can at least move on from her and have closure. You can’t help but smile at the thought of no longer having to deal with awkward patrols and weird conversations. Finally, you walk towards the garage door; your steps are faster than before and charged with nerves. Your hands are shaky but your mind is determined. 
You stop yourself from knocking on her door when you hear the sound of laughter.
You recognize the all-too-familiar laughter that belongs to Ellie, of course. It always makes your heart tumble into your stomach upon hearing it. However, you hear another fit of giggles beside hers that cause a clenching in your heart. Was she with another girl…?
You quickly pad towards her window, her curtains opened wide of course. From even just the side, you can see the scene inside of her room. Ellie is sitting in bed with Cat. You feel sick to your stomach at the sight of the girls so effortlessly talking, something Ellie hasn’t bothered to give you in months besides the times you’re in bed together, naked for her. 
Cat is drawing on her arm and it makes you livid with jealousy. You know that she and Ellie dated before. You can’t help but wonder if this is the reason that Ellie holds back from you. Was she really still in love with her ex-girlfriend all of this time? Were you just a rebound to her? 
Your heart breaks within you, and you’re more hurt than you are angry. The frustration is definitely there, though. You don’t bother to knock, storming back off to your home.
-
Ellie knew from a young age who she was. She has a foul mouth, likes nerdy things that others may insult her for, and she likes women. Her sexuality may have been a bit of a spectacle in Jackson. When she and Cat were seen holding hands when they were together, she was forced to get used to the stares thrown at them. They built her up into everything she is today. However, Ellie is nothing if not troubled.
Her emotions aren’t so easily adaptable. Her feelings feel murkier at times and clear at others, yet she cannot convey them in the ways others do. She knows that she is in love with you. She feels an emptiness when she is away from you for too long and wonders if it would be smart to let herself be so honest with you, to risk losing you after spending the rest of her days with you. She struggles to convey all of that, too; what if you find her to be overwhelming? Sex with you may be one thing, but these feelings could scare you away. She can’t lose you. 
Perhaps her lack of proper conveyal pushed you further away from her grasp.
It seems that you won’t talk to her anymore. She can’t pinpoint what is causing the change, but all she knows is that it is all too real. You, for some reason, won’t volunteer to patrol with her anymore. You don’t knock on her door, even if it’s just for that one thing that has been the main foundation of your relationship for the past few months. You lack the softness in your gaze when you’re in her presence; you lack to gaze at her at all. 
Something in Ellie is entirely disheartened by your sudden absence in her life. She knows that she was awkward before, but she genuinely wanted to tell you how she felt about you. She wanted to carve your name into the surface of her heart so that she can only bleed you, as if your hands don’t squeeze at the organ enough. She recalls the times that she’d take deep inhales of your hair after sex just to be filled with your scent. She thinks about the last time she got to hold you and how she left after, just because she couldn’t live with it if you rejected her in the morning. 
For weeks, this avoidance continues. At first, Ellie tries to speak to you. You ignore her or brush her off with short responses every time. After a while, she begins to pull away as well. That is, until you’re walking home in the rain as the crash of thunder surrounds Jackson at all angles. 
Your boots make wet pitter-patter noises as you try your best to hurry back home after a late patrol. The sky is dark, the only source of light is your own flashlight and the dim street-lights that make a path down the street. Unfortunately, your house is so far from the center of Jackson that it requires a longer journey to get home than it does for most people. You live on the outskirts, which can be good for privacy, but not so good for travel. 
You wish that you had brought an umbrella with you earlier before leaving your house. Now, it doesn’t matter. All you can focus on is getting home and not being struck down in lightning. In a world filled with fungi-based zombies, you’d think that something as unique as being fried from a thunderstorm would be the least of your worries. Your steps quicken until they don’t. 
You trip face-first into the gravel, your skin on fire from the sudden harsh tumble. Your clothes are covered in mud and dirty rain water, some pebbles sticking to the soaked fabric. You groan in discomfort, but you’re halted from your progress in rising when you look up to see a frantic Ellie staring down at you. 
“Holy shit, are you okay?! What the hell are you doing out here, it’s raining cats and dogs..” 
Usually, you’d laugh at that joke. Instead, you avoid her gaze and try to stand, wincing at the soreness from the fall and the scrape on your knee left from the sharp gravel. 
“I’m fine. I just got back from patrol.” Your words are so boring and short, it makes Ellie’s heart ache. She misses how things used to be.
“You’re not gonna make it all the way back to your house like this.” She states, and you know she is right, unfortunately. Your clothes leave you feeling like a wet dog, dirty and half-way drenched. Your knee is probably bleeding, and you simply don’t want to walk all of the way home. Still, you’d rather do that than face Ellie after what you witnessed. 
“I can make it, I’ve walked home before.”
Ellie scoffs at your stubborn, dry tone. “Yeah, no shit. But not like this. C’mon, just come back to the garage. You can borrow my clothes and I’ll ask Joel for a first-aid kit.” 
That sounds so like Ellie to offer. You remember countless nights in her garage, some before the whole situation happened when you only played video games and let her read you comics until you were snoring on her couch. You also remember the late nights spent against her, panting as she made you cum in any way she could, only to act as if it didn’t happen the next day. The thought makes you grow bitter. 
“Maybe I don’t wanna go home with you.” You state in a monotone, or at least try to. You pray that she can’t hear the break in your voice, notice how your already wet face is easily splotched with a cluster of tears. 
That makes Ellie’s heart completely squeeze within her body. “But..why?”
“Why?! Because you led me on, Ellie!” 
Ellie’s eyes widen at that. She didn’t expect that. “Lead you on? How..How did I lead you on? I know I was awkward, but I-”
You quickly cut her off, your voice raising with pent-up hurt. “It’s not about your stupid awkwardness! It’s about the fact that I was clearly just a rebound.” 
Ellie goes silent at that. A rebound? What the hell were you talking about? A rebound for who?
“A rebound? What are fuck are you even saying right now..? I never..” Her voice trails off, she’s clearly confused; that only fuels your anger further.
“You only agreed to sleep with me because you wanted to get over Cat. Am I right, or am I right?” Your tone slides from angry to practically livid. Underneath it all is pure heart-break. 
“That’s not even true! I’ve been over Cat for a couple years now and you know that. Why would I still like her after this long?”
“I saw you and her in your stupid garage, Ellie!” As you shout, lightning strikes, causing you both to flinch. You should just turn away and rush inside, rush anywhere indoors. You know that. Still, you’re too focused on all of the hurt inside of you. “I saw her drawing all over your arm and I heard your laughter. You never laughed like that for me unless we were fucking. You never smiled at me like you smile at her, or Jesse, or even Joel for fuck’s sake.” You feel sobs bubble up from your throat and the rain pouring down upon the two of you. “I just wanted you to be happy with me like how you were before. Instead of…just pretending like we were nothing at all.”
Ellie looks like she’s about to argue back, but her words best her. She instead moves to stand in front of you, and even despite the tension and distance between the two of you, you can’t help but think about how beautiful Ellie looks, her soaked bangs glued to her forehead and her clothes soaked, clinging onto her slender form. She cups your face almost hesitantly, her fingers brushing against your jaw as if she’s afraid you’ll push away. She can feel the heat of your tears in contrast to the coldness of the rain water on your wet face. She aches at the difference. 
“Listen to me..please..” Her voice, so soft and intimate, makes you want to do whatever she asks. She is so gentle even as the thunder booms once more, almost making you jolt again. “Cat was only drawing on my arm because I wanted to get a new tattoo, and I’ve been well over her for years now. We might’ve dated when we were young, but all we are now is a friendship. I needed her advice on you. I wanted to know what to do, how to tell you how I feel..” 
You look up at her, your voice hesitant. “And how do you feel?”
She exhales, a shaky and addictive sound. “I don’t want Cat back. I want you back..I miss you. I miss the goofy shit we used to do on patrol.” She chokes out a laugh, ironic for the speech and the nerves she’s feeling from confessing all of this to you. “I miss hearing your laughter, I miss how you smell so lovely even when you live in a fucking apocalypse. I yearn to hear you talk to me. Talk to me about anything. I miss the way you sneeze, the way you stumble over yourself like how you just did and got your damn patrol clothes all muddy.” She takes one final moment to savor your face, to memorize your features right in front of her in case you reject her final confession. “I don’t love Cat. I love you.
Her words hit you so deeply, right in the heart where you need to feel her. You don’t hesitate to lean in and Ellie almost immediately meets your lips in a bruisingly desperate kiss. 
Your hands grasp at her face like she’ll disappear in any moment, fingers finding her hair and pulling at the wet, tangled strands of auburn.. She pulls you closer by the waist and her palm can feel sensations that make her believe this moment is something straight out of a dream. Dots of rain fall upon the both of you as her lips pull your bottom one in between them, making you gasp softly and part your lips. She takes full advantage, slipping her tongue into your mouth. 
The two of you are now impossibly close as your mouths slide against each other so needily, so fervently. Every brush, every wet smack of your lips ignites more than just a fire between the two of you. Ellie is itching to keep you like this, but she desperately misses all of you. She wants to devour you and solidify the fact into existence that you are hers, and you won’t ever doubt her love for you. 
Droplets of rain wetten the kiss further, but they do nothing to prevent the heat of your mouths enveloped, or stop the way the two of you push and pull closer to each other like magnets. The only thing that breaks the kiss is a sudden bolt of lightning rather close to your location. 
Breathless, Ellie’s forehead meets your own. “We should go back to my garage.” You nod, and quickly, the two of you scamper off to Joel’s backyard in which her small place is located. 
Inside, Ellie’s lips meet yours once more, thirsting and full of longing. Damp clothes are pulled off of the two of you; bodies meet each other and you can feel every inch of Ellie against every centimeter of you. Her stiff nipples graze yours, making you shiver despite the warmth of her garage. 
“Say you love me again,” you plead with her so breathlessly.
She doesn’t hesitate to be truthful, not after holding back for so long. “I love you. I love you so much, it hurts.” 
Her lips drag down your neck, her hands guiding your hips to walk back towards her bed. You fall onto the soft mattress and her body quickly follows yours. Each swipe of her tongue over your skin sends sparks of pink electricity through your veins and between your legs. 
“I need you, Els.” You’re panting, a delirious mess and yet more content than you’ve been in a long time. 
“Shh, I’ve got you. I’ll give you all of me. I’m yours now.” 
Ellie’s body is smothering yours, and she has to settle further down to make contact with your tits. Her mouth is all over the soft, bumpy texture of your nipples, lapping at the hardened peaks to send little shudders through your spine. Your body craves her after so long, but you appreciate all she gives you. Her mouth takes its time on each of your nipples, her love so needy and desperate yet savoring. You grasp at her messy hair, trying to pull her up to kiss you.
When her bare weight settles back onto yours, your mouths soon meet for a slower, but just as intense kiss. You take your time to slide your tongue against hers and lick into her mouth, exploring her as if your time here would last forever. Her body involuntarily grinds against yours and though there’s not direct friction onto either of your clits, you still whimper into each other’s throats.
Ellie’s palm slides down between your humid bodies as she distracts you with her tongue swirling against yours, a delicious sensation you can’t seem to find anywhere else. Her fingers suddenly rub at your clit, making you moan into her mouth, an eager sound so easily swallowed.
This isn’t the first time she’s touched you like this, not even the second time. Still, your body reacts as if this is all new. The way she touches you is sloppy and passionate, not anything in comparison to the previous hook-ups in which she was able to make you cum but gave you what was a watered down, held back version. Now she can give you everything. 
The kiss slows, but your lips lingered against each other’s. You can still lick at the taste of rain droplets on her swollen lips; you wish to rub against them so hard that they taste of nothing but your own lips. 
“Inside me, please.” You beg against her lips, sending fizzles of heat throughout her own cunt and making her clench around nothing. 
“Good,” she mumbles against you as she eases two fingers into your moistened hole to elicit a soft, open gasp from your lips, “wanted to feel inside your cunt again. Missed it.” 
Her calloused fingers work you, stretching your walls to ease any discomfort. You don’t know what to focus on with the amount of feelings coursing through your body - the subtle curve of her breasts are visibly if you flicker down, but you can’t seem to do so as you throw your head back onto her pillow and stare up at her ceiling to try and collect yourself; the way her eyes intensely watch over the way you gnaw at your bottom lip with pleasure, biting down when she curls her digits in the most delicious way possible; her mouth painting noticeable hickeys all over your neck, an action you’d usually scold but can only grasp her face for more; the soft ‘love you’s leaving her mouth between suckling. She can’t help but remind you after all of this time.
Her fingers batter your insides repeatedly, fingertips pressing into your spongy spot until you cry her name and your nails are piercing into her skin. Each slide into your walls and the slight retreats sends waves of pure pleasure through your body, your peak being the only thing either of you can focus on. Her eyes look over your face, watch the way your breath recedes as your orgasm bleeds into your stomach and into your head. Each ripple shooting through your walls causes your walls to clamp down onto her fingers as if to hold them inside of you forever. She doesn’t stop pumping into your hole until you physically cannot withstand it any longer. 
“I love you, Ellie.” 
Your words, so saccharine, make her forget about her plan to cuddle with you after making you feel good. She’s now hitching up your leg and pulling hers over your thigh, slotting her neglected and slick cunt between your legs, her folds grinding against yours and causing you to mewl at the sudden sensation against your clit.
“You love me?” Ellie asks, watching as you nod your head eagerly, “bet this pussy loves me just as much,” her words so filthy make you even wetter than you thought was possible in a single night. 
Ellie whines as her clit receives little sparks of friction, the swollen bud savoring each moment of contact with your cunt. 
“Feels so good, h-holy fuck..” You whine, your hips bucking up into hers in small shudders of movements. The pure sloppiness of your pussies rubbing together causes the room to be filled with the sounds of squelching and strained moans, Ellie’s more breathy and yours more pitched. Her hips quiver against yours as she gets closer and close to cumming, her movements more sloppy as your wetness turns into hers, and hers yours. 
“Please, please, please I’m gonna cum, I’m-” Your own orgasm washes over your body, your back rising to accommodate for the sudden intense pleasure. Soon, Ellie’s cumming with you, not hesitating to swallow up your cries with her lips sealed over yours. You can feel each sloppy hump her cunt gives yours, can feel her whines only attempt to leave her throat. All of it has you drunk off of the feeling, possibly even harder than the last orgasm. Her tongue lazily fucks your mouth as she gives a final few sloppy judders to your clit before her body gives in to the utter exhaustion and she settles on top of you. 
Her body, coated in sweat and her pussy, covered in both of your juices, are completely worn out. Ellie’s head finds sanction in the crook of your neck where her breath tickles your purple-splotched skin. You wrap your arms around her, squeezing her tightly. Her leg brushes up against yours and that’s when you noticeably flinch; right, the scraped knee from earlier. 
Ellie quickly pulls herself off of you to  catch sight of your left knee, slightly red with dried blood and clearly tender.
“I’ll take care of that, just lay here and rest, ‘kay” You nod eagerly, wanting to get rid of the burning sensation as quickly as possible. Ellie quickly pulls on a t-shirt and a pair of sweatpants before giving you a quick kiss on the forehead, her eyes taking a final glance to admire your naked body sprawled out on her bed.. all she can seem to feel now is love for you. “Stay here and I’ll be back soon.”
-
Quickly, Ellie returns to you with a bottle of rubbing alcohol and a large adhesive band-aid. Her face is rather irritated. You raise your eyebrows. 
“What’s with the look?”
She sighs, muttering out, “Joel..that’s all.”
You can’t help but laugh at that. Fuck, you missed Joel. You missed watching movies with Ellie on his couch and the popcorn he’d microwave for the two of you to share. You can already tell by her face that he was pretty teasing about her scavenging through his cabinets for first-aid items looking like a hot mess. “I missed him,” you mumble quietly.
“Yeah… He missed you, too.” Ellie unscrews the lid on the alcohol and braces herself to do what she has to do.“This is gonna hurt, okay?” You nod, bracing yourself. Soon, the stinging of the alcohol hits your knee. It’s sudden and makes you wince. Seeing that look on your face makes Ellie want to stop and just hold you tightly, protect you from any harm. When the sting finally fades, you let out a soft sigh. She quickly peels the back of the band-aid off and with gentle but calloused fingers sticks the adhesive onto your scrape. She gives you a soft smile. “There. All good, now.”
You don’t hesitate to smile back, but another thought crosses your mind. “Hey, Ellie..?”
“Yeah?” Her voice is heavy with exhaustion and a noticeable, gentle affection.
“I meant it when I said I loved you.” 
Ellie gives you a toothy grin, a familiar one. “And I meant it when I said it, too.”
“But..I still just don’t understand why you didn’t tell me that before, you know?”
Ellie exhales quietly and nods, understanding what you mean. “I was really nervous, okay? I’ve just lost people before,” she leans in closer to you, admiring your eyes which observe her as she speaks, brushing messy strands of hair behind your ear, “I know it’s stupid, but it really is true when you hear people say I can’t handle my feelings well. I get all weird about them and I’m like a social recluse when I have a crush for some reason. As much as I just wanted to be around you, I was scared.” 
Your eyes soften slightly from her words, but curiosity takes over. “Scared of what? I wouldn’t ever hurt you, Els.” 
“It’s more than just getting my heart broken by you.. I mean, I’m scared of losing you physically, too.” She admits quietly. 
Ellie’s fears aren’t irrational. Everyday, people who have lovers, have friends and family are bitten or torn apart in the most gruesome ways possible. That’s always a reason to be cautious to care, but you can’t help but want to disagree with that sentiment. 
“But Ellie, you can’t just be alone with the fear of losing the people you care about,” you argue softly, “if you live your life like that, you’ll never get to have all of anyone. Sometimes, you have to risk losing the person you love so that you can at least have them in every way possible, even if it’s temporary.” 
“I know that, believe me. I’m so damn tired of keeping myself away from you and not fully giving you what you deserve.” Ellie leans down to plant a soft peck to your nose, making you giggle, “you deserve to be loved wholeheartedly and not like how I was doing before..so..” she sighs. “If I asked you to be mine, my girlfriend…would you say yes?” 
Your eyes widen and your heart beats faster. “You really mean that?”
Ellie nods, her cheeks red from earlier activities somehow burning brighter. This time, it’s more from embarrassment and something more childish than previously. 
You giggle and quickly lean up to hug her tightly. “Yes. Yes, I’ll be your girlfriend.” Ellie pulls you further in, squeezing you tightly. “You gotta promise to not hold back on me, though.”
She nods, feeling emotions pull at her chest at the feeling of your embrace, of finally having you in her arms without having to think about leaving you in the morning. “I promise.”
The rhythmatic, quiet sound of Ellie’s clock lulls you to sleep as she holds you in her arms. 
Tick, tick, tick. 
This time, Ellie won’t hold back from you when you wake up.
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Taglist: @firefly-ace @kaykeryyy
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homestylehughes · 1 month ago
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wet dream
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pairing(s): Luke hughes x fem!reader
summary: Luke wakes yn up during her wet dream, leaving her all embarrassed, but happens when Luke makes her dreams a reality?
warning(s): 18+ mdni. extreme dirty talk, oral fem!receiving, nipple play, slight edging. use of pet names, foul language.
word count: 2.1k
authors note: hi guys...long time no see. do you guys hate me?? be honest..LOL. kicking off my return to tumblr, with no other than some smut. now.. this has to be the dirtiest smut I've written yet, so i'm a little scared for this one. I'm also a little nervous that I'm rusty because I haven't written in a while. so hopefully it's good LOL. this song is based off of wet dream by wet Leg, I would highly recommend listening to it when reading. I've never written anything like this before so this was new for me but I love it, and you guys do too. okay this is getting long.. because you know I LOVE to yap. anyways. I hope you all are doing well, I promise I'm back and that I'll be putting more things out very very soon. much love always <3
I wasn't sure how I ended up on Luke's lap on the side of a back road in the middle of nowhere. But i don't think i have a bone in my body that cares, because the way lukes mouth feels on my neck is enough to make me lose all of my senses. 
“Luke shit” I moan out as my hips rut against his, as his lips trail up my neck. 
“luke..we should probably start to head home” i say, not wanting this to get out of hand in the car
“Why baby, I thought you were enjoying this?” He asks, his eyes locking with mine as he begins to pull at my shirt, exposing my chest. 
“Because we’re in the middle of nowhere, what if someone catches us?” 
“Baby, we’re in the middle of nowhere, no one is going to catch us.” he replies, as his hands work their way under my shirt, pulling it slowly up my body, and before I know it he's tossing my shirt behind him in the car. 
“Luke..” i say hesitantly
“What, I'm not doing anything..” he says with a small smirk, moving his hands to hold my waist as he looks up at me.
“Your making this hard for me” i say, trying to resist his touch, knowing im doing a terrible job so far 
“Then let me make it easy for you” he replies before pressing your lips together 
I can't help but kiss him back, my hands instantly moving to his brown curly locks, pulling myself closer to him. Feeling his hands slide up my back to my bra, his fingers sliding under unfastening it, pulling it away from my body. Luke's hands finding my breasts instantly, his fingers running along my already hardening nipples. He leans his head back against the headrest, licking his lips as he trains his eyes to my breasts. 
my body moves on its own accord as i push my chest into his hands, needing and wanting anything he's willing to give me. 
“Luke” i softly whine out
“Shh..baby. Im taking this all in.” he says cutting off your plead for more 
“It's nothing you haven't seen before” i retract 
“But everytime i see them, it's like the very first time over again.” he says before pressing soft kisses to the top of my breasts. 
“Baby you should see yourself right now..fuck.” he almost moans out before finally connecting his hot mouth to your nipple. 
“Oh god” I moaned, my body melting against his, my hips moving against his again. The feeling of his mouth on my nipple, his other hand needing and pulling at my other breast, as we both move together as one. I feel him everywhere, I need him everywhere. I'm almost sure that I can cum from just this, feeling my wetness pool through my jeans. 
“Luke..” i say breathlessly 
“What baby?” he asks, his mouth pulling away from my breast, a string of his saliva following his path. His pupils are blown with lust, his cheeks slightly pink, his lips swollen, and plump, as he looks up at me. Fuck, hes a sight for sore eyes. 
“I need you to fuck me..Please” i tell him, no long caring if we’re in the middle of no where, or let alone that you’re in a car. The only thing I can think about is how much I need him. Wanting to show him how much I need him I urgently press our lips to his, putting all of my want into the kiss, hoping he gets the hint. Luke picks it up instantly, his hands pulling at my hips rocking them harder against his.
I slide my hands under his shirt, raking my nails over his toned stomach, luke moaning at the sensation of my hands against him. pushing his shirt higher higher, luke pulls away for a second pulling the shirt from his body tossing it behind him before reconnecting his lips to mine. 
The kiss is hot, and nasty, teeth clashing, as our tongues fight for dominance, my hands tangling in Luke's hair, pulling him more into me, if that even possible at this point. I can feel his hands on the waistband of my jeans, his fingers working to undo the button, pushing their way into my jeans as he begins to push them down my hips. 
“Fuck look at you baby..looking all fucked out on my lap. This turns you on huh? Knowing we could get caught at any moment. Such a slut aren't you?” he says to me, his fingers dancing along the top of my underwear. I can only whine in response, my brain is too clouded with want and lust. I just push his hand close to my core. Just as he's pushing his hands past my underwear. But suddenly, it's like it all just stops. 
“yn..yn..yn?” I hear someone say from beside me, my body shooting directly up, as I push my hair out of my face. My chest rises quickly as I try to blink the sleep out of my eyes. 
“Baby are you okay?” I hear Luke ask from beside me, turning to him to see confusion and worry written all over his face, as I stare at him like a deer in headlights. 
“Yeah I'm okay, I'm sorry” I say, licking my lips, to try and gather myself. 
“Are you sure? You were moving around and making noises, almost sounding like you were in pain.” 
I was making noises? Oh my god, I can feel my face becoming hot as I bury my head in my hands, I can't help but laugh in embarrassment. 
“What??? Am I missing something here?” luke asks me frantically
“Luke..” i start pulling my head from my hands 
“Yn..” he follows 
“Promise to not judge me?” i ask 
“Yes, always” 
“I had a wet dream??” i say softly 
“A wet dream?” luke asks
“Yes, luke a wet dream, I'm really embarrassed and I would like to go to bed.” I say looking at the blanket in front of me, too ashamed to look at him. 
“That's nothing to be embarrassed of baby, people have wet dreams all the time, its normal.” he says, trying to make me feel better
“I know luke..but still im embarrassed.” 
“Was it a good dream?” he asks 
“It was a really good dream..” I sigh, wishing it was real. Wishing Luke didn't wake me before it got to the good part. 
“What was it about?” he asks 
“Luke..” 
“I think i have the right to know” he says, i can hear the small smirk in his voice without even looking at him.
“I can't tell you..” i hesitate once again
“Yes. you can. And you will” he says before pulling the blanket that covers my body back, before i know it, his hands are wrapping around my thighs, pulling me into his lap. Just like my dream. 
“Now you can't run, so get to talking. It must've been a good wet dream to wake me up at 3:45 in the morning” 
A wave of guilt runs through my body, feeling bad that I woke him up all because of a dream, but it's not like I knew I was thrashing and moaning in my sleep. 
“Okay” i sigh to him 
“We were in the middle of nowhere in your car and somehow you seduced me and I ended up in your lap and my clothes were off and it was getting to the good part and then you woke me up.” i say quickly, my eyes locked on his chest
“Oh..” luke says 
Oh??? That's all he has to say, you’ve got to be kidding me. 
“See i knew i shouldn't have told you” i say slightly upset but his lack of response
“Woah calm down. I'm processing this. My girlfriend just told me that she had a wet dream about us fucking in a car.” 
“we didnt fuck. You ruined that part of the dream, when you woke me up” i look up, pouting in his face 
“Well i'm sorry i was concerned you were getting eaten by a bear or something” he says with a smile, his response causing me to giggle. 
“Fine whatever” i say with a small smile on my lips 
“Where did we leave off in this dream baby?” he asks, moving his hands to my hips, his mood change taking me by surprise. 
“You-you had your hands in my underwear” I tell him. 
Following my instructions, Luke moves his hands to my underwear, toying with the band on the side before sinking his fingers completely inside, causing me to react instantly, moaning as his fingers slide their way into my wet core. 
“Fuck me..already so wet for me” he groans out 
“Luke..shit” I moan, dropping my head to his neck, as his fingers move against my clit, suddenly the room feels on fire, and once again I feel him everywhere, I need him everywhere. 
“Please don't stop.” I say to him, moaning in his ear as he slips a finger inside my pussy. 
“Always take my fingers so good” he grunts, his lips moving against my neck, sucking and kissing any exposed bit of skin he can. 
My hips move against his fingers, trying to chase any bit of a high that I can get. 
“Gonna put another finger in baby, can you handle that?” 
“Fuck yes please, i need it..” I whine to him, my jaw goes slack as he pushes not one but two more fingers into my dripping pussy, the only sounds that are reaching my ears are the sounds of luke's fingers moving in out of me, my wetness pooling down my thighs. And the sound of luke and I’s  soft moans and pants. 
“Kiss me please” I beg, moving my face to his, our lips meeting in the middle. Our lips begin moving together at a fierce speed, unable to get enough of each other. 
“Right there luke, fuck” i moan pulling back from his lips, as his fingers curl perfectly inside of me, hitting all of the spots that i need him too. 
“Feel good baby?” he asks, looking down at me with hooded eyes
“Yes, oh my god yes” i moan, my eyes locked on his 
“Move your hand down there and play with your clit, while i fuck with you with my fingers” luke says to me, almost demanding. Quickly moving my much smaller fingers, to my pussy, circling them on my clit. moans and whines begin to fall almost instantly from my lips as complete pleasure takes over my body. 
“Yeah thats it baby, take what you need from me” luke moans from below me, watching me fuck myself harder against his fingers
“Im gonna cum luke, don't stop please” i beg. 
“Keep your eyes on me while you cum, I'll stop. Got it?” he tells me
“Yes.” i frantically nod back in response 
One more thrust of Luke's fingers, one more circle of my fingers against my clit, and I'm coming undone before I know it. My fingers dropping from my clit, moving both of my hands to luke shoulders to keep myself up right as he continues to fuck me through my orgasm. My eyes fight to stay open as my body thrashes and shakes against his. 
“Fuck” i say with the little voice that i have left, my eyes still locked on luke’s. 
Feeling empty as he pulls his fingers from my pussy, moving his hand in front of his face, seeing his fingers glisten in my cum, in the dim room. He keeps his eyes locked with mine as he puts his fingers in his mouth, sucking them clean. I can't help but watch his every movement, my body already wanting more, of whatever he wants to give me. 
“Was that better than your dream?” he finally speaks
I quickly press our lips together as a response to his question. I can't help but moan as I taste myself on his tongue, pulling him into me by his hair, our chests pressed together. 
“We haven't gotten to the last part of my dream” i say against his lips 
“And what's that?” luke asks before placing another soft kiss to my lips 
“You havent fucked me yet.” 
“Well what am I waiting for?” he quickly says, before flipping us over, dropping me lightly on the bed. Where he starts to prove once again that he's much better than a wet dream. 
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ivysprophecy · 2 months ago
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bed chem
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warnings; uhm sex lol? oral (male and femme recieving) very whorish thoughts, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it pls pls pls), brief mentions of bruising and hickeys, dirty talk. breeding kink if you squint
prev. | next
masterlist
word count; 2295
summary; jj and you have always been able to get along as long as it was in a nice comfy bed. what happens when you start to wonder if your chemistry goes beyond that?
divider by: @bernardsbendystraws
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im being so for real when i say id let jj do just about anything he wanted to me.
and im not even being dramatic.
the second i can feel his lips make contact with that spot below my ear and his hands leaving finger prints on my hips, im a goner.
i dont necessarily know what it is about him specifically, and saying its our chemistry feels so icky to say but i dont know how else to describe it.
the way he hooks his thumbs through the belt loops on my shorts? like right now? yea im soaked already.
"mama you've been teasin me all night with that fucking idiot of a date- dont gotta do that baby you just gotta ask me for it."
"jj less talking more tongue."
"yes mama," he smirks up at me from his lap, his lips going back to my neck.
i have to interrupt him because i simply cant keep this shirt on my body. unfortunately i did have my cakes on so he just had to chuckle at them
"jj weve talked about this! they aren't funny!"
"baby theyre boob pancakes for your nipples its always gonna be hilarious."
" 'always' as if youre gonna see them again. how confident."
"sweetheart you say that every time. just let me give the girls some love and enjoy it, yea?" with that he starts peppering kisses all over my chest, his hands pawing at both of them.
"jesus-" the moans that come from my throat are honestly embarrassing but hes just too fucking good at this. he knows every sensitive inch on me.
its like he has me fucking memorized its insane. he feels insane.
and it doesnt help that he loves eye contact. i hate admitting that it flusters me, i dont want him knowing it takes everything in me to keep half of my dignity when he has me like this.
my fingers find the buckle of his belt doing my best to blindly work it off of his waist desperate to get whats under his pants.
im not ashamed to admit that.
"someones eager tonight," he pulls off of my chest with a noisy pop sound, smiling that signature cocky grin that i love to hate. "you gonna tell me what you want?"
i push him back onto the bed so i have easier access to his belt, more so his dick if im being honest.
"i want you to stop talking so i can get your pants off. why dont you work on that shirt for me baby?"
"well since you asked so sweetly," he chuckles throwing off his cut off while helping you get rid of his shorts. "only if you put your shorts on the floor next to mine."
"thats such a weird fucking thing to say jj what the fuck?"
"what? i thought thatd be cute."
"youre so freaking weird," you roll your eyes sliding off your shorts throwing them in whatever direction. they land next to his
jj sits there, head against the pillows watching me. i cant help but feel uneasy, im aware that i have no reason to be uncomfortable and that hes seen me this way plenty of times before but theres something in his eyes that makes me feel like hes drinking in every inch of me and its a but unsettling,
"youre so pretty. cant get enough of ya. ever," he gestures for me to come closer with his fingers before snapping and pointing to his face, "park it pretty mama."
"jj-" i start to interrupt him but he refuses any rebuttal.
"uh uh. weve talked about this. youre gonna sit on my face and im gonna eat it as much as i please. cmon now dont be shy. it doesnt suit you."
blush eats away at your cheeks as you crawl forward closer to his face, gripping the headboard for stability.
"im not shy."
"then act like it baby. now let me taste you, wanna warm you up good for me," and with those last words his arms wrap around my hips and he pulls me down so my weight is on his face.
the second his lips make contact his tongue is READY to work, and let me be clear he knows where the clit is okay? Sucking, licking, even nipping he does it all so fucking good.
all while looking up at me as i use his face like a damn chair.
my hips are desperately trying match the pace of his tongue, i can feel his nose rubbing against my clit giving me the best kind of friction im looking for.
oh my god and when he moans into me?? im done. finished. totaled. i cannot stop the sounds im making.
my legs shake beside his head, and hes staring up at me so smug, so proud of himself like his ability to make me cum was ever in question.
"see? so good for me mama was that so hard?"
i cant even get the words out, still clutching onto the headboard catching my breath. "jj-"
"ive got you dont worry," he picks me up by my waist and twists us so hes now hovering over me. "ill make you feel so good i promise."
"jj- i-" i try to take a deep breath and gather my thoughts, none of them holy obviously. "just gimme a second-"
"awe, someone overstimulated? already?"
i close my eyes and take a deep breath, because yes i do get easily overstimulated. "dont be a dick-"
"i havent even pulled it out yet."
"oh yea? lets see what you've got to say when ive got you all up in my mouth huh? lets find out baby."
i move out from underneath him and lay my head off the edge of the bed, looking at him with an excited glimmer in my eyes and my tongue sticking out.
"holy shit-" i giggle watching jj practically fall off the bed to take his boxers off, fumbling to do so. "are you serious?"
"yea jayj im serious," i say through a few laughs. "now cmere. remember you dont gotta hold back. i can take it."
"oh my god- shit. mama you keep talking like that and im not gonna last."
"i dont wanna talk jj i want your cock in my mouth," and with those final words his boxers drop to the floor. and i can see how ready is, honestly it looks painful. and i wanna make him feel all better.
my hand finds his, pulling him closer to the beds edge. once his length is over my mouth i run my tongue down his shaft, taking him into my hand and pumping what i cant reach.
"you ready for me baby?"
jj doesnt answer, he grabs my hair and tugs my head down further having me open my mouth before stuffing me full.
i can hear the groan he lets out, its guttural. and hot as fuck.
my tongue slides along his length almost asking to pull him in deeper. but he keeps still for a moment, gathering himself so he can continue.
but i know my boy. hes not gonna wait much longer to be inside me and i have no plans on arguing about it.
after a minute his hips buck forward a bit. "you good mama?"
and of course i cant really respond with his dick in my mouth. so naturally i try to take him deeper, urging him to move his hips again.
his grip on my hair tightened as he buried himself as deep as he could and slowly pulling back out.
poor guy is torturing himself! i havent even done anything, and he knows he doesnt have to go this slow.
he keeps his rhythm slow and steady, and i can feel the anticipation in his muscles restricting himself so i give his thigh a quick tap letting him know to pull away.
"jj you okay? you can go faster."
he lets a groan fall from his already pouty lips, "mama i cant handle going faster. need to be in ya when i bust."
i cant help but chuckle at his admission.
"oh baby. shouldve just said somethin. how you want me?"
i love making his eyes roll to the back of is head. but not like that weird anime shit. you know what i mean?
jj jumps back onto the mattress, back against the headboard patting his lap. "you know i want the girls all up in my face sweetheart. cmon and give me a good ride."
"yes captain," did i always say that jokingly? of course. did he always take it seriously? absolutely.
i climb over his lap, letting my knees rest against the bed sheets.
"youre still on the pill mama? or you still like the idea of me puttin a baby in ya" he looks up at me with pleading eyes, praying i am because he knows that means ill let him in bare. so fucking pussy whipped. i love it.
"jj you wouldn't be in this bed with me if i wasnt, now are you clean?" i have to ignore the baby comment because yea i really really really do.
"if you really believed i wasnt you wouldve have just tried to suck out my soul."
he does technically have a point there. "cant think straight when youre just standing there you know that jj. cmon are you clean or not?"
"youre the only one for me sweetheart. hop on, please. im beggin ya. need you so bad mama its killin me."
"'s gonna be a tight fit. 'm already so swollen down there."
"jesus," his head falls to rest on my chest and its like he all of a sudden remembers i have tits. peppering kisses all over my chest before wrapping his mouth over my nipple as i line him up. "baby you dont even know what youre saying. what its doin to me. got me so worked up im not gonna last long."
"good thing too because neither am i."
letting my weight lower onto him we moan out in unison, grabbing the hairs at the nape of his neck i hold tight as i let the sting of his size settle.
i do adjust rather quickly, seeing as hes been inside me plenty times before.
rocking my hips to start slow, i press small kisses on his hair as his grip on my hips tightens. part of me hopes i have little finger tip bruises tomorrow. they always show through my swimsuits. jj cant get enough of them.
"shit baby i need more.. cmon you can take it. its alright im not goin no where. give it to me."
fuck does he know how to talk me through it.
i raise myself a little only to leave a small drop, increasing the pace with each bounce. because holy shit he just hits that spot every damn time. sometimes i legit wonder if his dick was made for me.
then i roll my eyes at how fucking whipped i sound.
"yeaaa thats it mama. you keep that up, just how ya like it," thats the last thing he says before his thumbs starts toying with my clit and his mouth is once against attached to one of my breasts.
jjs the only guy that ive ever told that i need something else when hes inside me. never once made me feel insecure or guilty about it. in fact, i kind think he loves that he gets to play with me more.
"holy shit- jay- jay im close... you there baby?"
i can feel him nod against me so i move faster, harder, whatever i can do to chase that high im so desperately close to. and i can tell hes close to, hes got a little twitch whenever hes almost there and it feel soooo fucking good. takes me right over the edge.
"yeaaa gorgeous thats it. want me to fill you up? want me to make you my real mama?"
my head buries itself in his neck, covering it in small kisses to muffle my moans as i finish all over him.
and he's not close behind, thrusting up to meet me as i ride out mine, finishing just moments after me and i can feel him covering my insides.
and dammit if i dont wanna feel this way forever.
"so fucking good mama. made just for me i swear..." he mumbles against my chest leaving little hickeys as he catches his breath.
after a minute of just holding onto each other he slowly lowers me to the bed knowing that my legs feel like jelly.
he presses a kiss to my cheek before headed to the bathroom and grabbing us a wet washcloth. he rubs it over my thighs and my stomach and neck before cleaning me up carefully, knowing it helps me cool off afterwards.
"thank you jayj... always so sweet."
"shucks mama dont worry about it, you know ill always take care of you."
after cleaning the both of us up he grabs his muscle tank he was wearing before handing it to me so i can have some coverage while i sleep.
"want me to go out on the couch?" he wondered. always so thoughtful.
"dont be stupid. climb on in big boy."
his stupid sleepy smile is so freakin cute, i hate it.
"night jj."
"night sweetheart. love ya."
i know he says it every time. every night in fact. so why when he tells me that does it put a pit in my stomach?
and just like that, with his arms around me, hes peacefully asleep and im wide awake wondering what the fuck im doing.
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