#the thought also terrifies me
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👔 ⌚️ Close enough welcome back Ted Spankoffski 💛
Curt!Ted because SOMEONE said someone should draw it and Somebody’s gotta do it…
#love him though#curt would be a great ted#the thought also terrifies me#horrifying#curt mega#starkid#hatchetfield#my art#hatchetverse#starkid art#tgwdlm?#curt!ted#ted spankoffski#hatchet town#nightmare time#curt mega the guy
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Soup solves everything.
#dungeon meshi#dungeon meshi spoilers#Senshi#izutsumi#chilchuck tims#laios touden#marcille donato#THE SOUP CHAPTER HAS BEEN ANIMATED#I have so many thoughts about senshi's backstory and how much that experience has shaped who he is.#This is such a powerful moment because it makes it clear how *stuck* senshi has been because of his trauma.#Up until now he has been a mystery! He's the chef guy! Don't worry about his apparent reclusiveness from society!#Don't worry about his intense need to make sure 'the young ones are fed'!#Senshi still has a lot of healing but this was the moment he could finally forgive himself.#This chapter is so important to me because sometimes you truly do need to face the most terrifying things to move past them.#This joke here is a bit too narrow to be funny for the masses...but mdzs fans know.#MDZS :handshake: Dungeon Meshi: Soup moment.#Laios and Jiang Yanli have a powerful magic call "Eat some soup and maybe you'll feel better'#That is also a spell you can cast upon yourself. Go eat some soup and you will feel better. Merry Soupmas everyone.#One more week of Thistle Thursdays....I'm not ready to say goodbye B*(
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queen of diamonds, upright + reversed 💎
I've redone this like eighty times, I have to just be done with it now and stop staring at all my mistakes oh no 🫠
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 part 8 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 part 8 spoilers#coming in well after the fact but that's what happens when the art doesn't cooperate#and i just HAD to draw something for vil's ob (re-ob?) because i loved it so much#legit put my hand over my mouth and went “oh!” when i realized what was happening#i thought it was just going to be an idia thing because. y'know. closing out his character arc from episode 6 and all#so this was like. oh! oh we're going to get ALL the inky boys!!!!!#i wonder if this is why we got a malleus flashback so early...#not to mention everyone's dreams?!#i am braced for 90% of the dreams to be kind of jokey/inconsequential because we have SO many characters to get through#and most of the time will probably be spent on our lads (literally) dropkicking their emotional problems#but i am excited to see everyone regardless!#and also kind of terrified! what on EARTH will floyd be dreaming about. do i want to know.#i do but do i want to.#man. they're probably not going to get back to it but i do wonder what silver's dream was#what was he doing when he was like 'wait a minute' and noped right out of there#lilia: here silver i made dinner :)#silver: oh boy this looks great! ...YOU'RE NOT MY REAL DAD#ouuuagh i'm still deep in the blotsauce guys and i'm loving it#come make snowangels in the ink with me it's great
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IAN GALLAGHER + his journey with bipolar disorder
╰┈➤ “At times, being bipolar can be an all-consuming challenge, requiring a lot of stamina and even more courage, so if you’re living with this illness and functioning at all, it’s something to be proud of, not ashamed of." - Carrie Fisher
#happy world bipolar day to all my bp babies#(more thoughts at the end of the tags)#shameless#shamelessnet#shamelessedit#ian gallagher#cameron monaghan#*macygifs#bipolar disorder#hello pals how are we doin#i made this gif set in july of 2023 and never posted it because 1) i was terrified to share it and potentially see Bad Takes in the tags#and 2) because my hyperfixation was waning. and while both of those things are still mostly true (the fixation comes and goes)#i feel like it's really important to share as ian's bipolar storyline was not only so vital to his character it was a bit of representation#that isn't often given to the disorder and those (like myself) who live with it every single day#world bipolar day is a day where we can both celebrate ourselves and our resilience and also raise awareness of the reality of the disorder#which is both terrifying and beautiful at its core. this disease is not a death sentence or a sentence to an unfulfilled and miserable life#while there are challenges galore when it comes to balancing life with this disorder it IS possible to live a full and productive life#and i think it's really important to have representation of that in media - and while shameless dropped the ball on a LOT of storylines#over the years THIS is the one they really fucking nailed and i am incredibly grateful#i first started watching shameless while in the midst of a major depressive episode and i was later (finally) diagnosed during an extended#hypo/manic episode - this show and ian's storyline got me through so much and made me feel so seen and validated in my struggles#world bipolar day is also vincent van gogh's birthday (happy birthday buddy) who was posthumously diagnosed with bipolar disorder#and who experienced both depressive and hypo/manic episodes during his lifetime (and was regularly institutionalized)#it takes a lot of help and support to keep us going. it takes the support of our family and friends and *most* of all#it takes patience and kindness and understanding - which is so so so easy to give if you are willing to love and listen#so please. be willing. listen to our stories. be patient with us. show us love without conditions. support us in any way you can.#we are worth it#i promise#anyway. that's really all i wanted to say. happy world bipolar day to those who celebrate (me) and may all of us living with this disorder#go on to live happy fulfilling beautiful magical lives
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Prompt:
Damian isn’t happy about father’s rule not to hurt the gaggle of false kids he has acquired. How is he supposed to prove to him that he is the only one worthy of the title of heir now?
But fine. Most of them are stupid enough they’ll end up dead sooner or later. Damian just has to play the long game. Establish himself as the only constant.
But then father’s wayward son, Todd, comes home… and it’s so much worse than Damian expected.
He remembers this man. Remembers him from hushed whispers in the League, from mother’s creased eyebrow, and training halls drenched with blood.
And he’ll take one look at Damian and know. Know that he’s a threat to his position.
And the worst thing: Damian isn’t allowed to defend himself.
#Jason has no idea why the baby demon seems to be terrified of him#it’s kinda funny#all he’ll have to do is say boo and the kid very nearly faints on him#it’s less funny when they happen to be the only ones locked in a cell and Damian expects him to murder him in the most brutal fashion#like dang he thought Bruce really had a better opinion of him nowadays#also pls stop trying to stab me baby bat#misunderstandings#miscommunication#Jason doesn’t know what’s wrong with the new Robin but apparently he’s been tasked to keep him alive#and he’s making that friggin hard#jason todd#batfamily#dick grayson#bruce wayne#batfam#robin#red hood#tim drake#batman#prompts#Damian wayne#Damian al ghul#Nightwing#red robin#batdad#Jason and Damian
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Two former military elites taking merc jobs perform absolutely hellish battle tactics together.
#ffxiv#digital art#zenos yae galvus#estinien wyrmblood#adventurer zenos#I will always adore this duo conceptually#because like- socially theyre that aragorn-geralt brooding in a corner of a tavern meme#but in combat they are absolutely terrifying#the azure dragoon and the super soldier legatus are here to fuck up a poachers day#aka zenos is about to crossmap someone's airship cause he knows estinien cant make himself jump that far#why have him try to jump when he can just Olympic-level javelin toss this man#also guys#my dudes#all this time I've been working on adven!zenos being a tank#I... have realized I just write him like a warrior who isnt carrying a weapon- sturdy unkillableness and countering and all#I am only a little bit of a dumbass but orogeny just seems to live in my head rent free#it also gave me the terrifying concept of- after spending time with the scions and after the ultimatum-#of him trying to learn more about dynamis- and zenos being zenos starts learning eventually how to harness it#local calm apathetic man can berserk on command because he's a lot angrier/more expressive inwardly than most people expect#depending on how I look into it- it might be how he fuels most of his shinryu transformations but I'll have to work on it more#but ANYWAYS#I love the thought of these two hunting and working together#and estinien being tossed being turned into a tactic#especially with proper form#this is something ive wanted to draw for a very long time and im very happy I actually have the skill to do so now
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me: finally accepting theres a good chance im autistic and starting to work up the courage to ask my parents to see if i could get a diagnoses but being scared to
my mom: do you ever think you have adhd? if you want to do a screening for add next time your at the doctors you can
me:
#for context im terrified of being the person who sees stuff online and diagnosis themselves and then is wrong#which is why it took me so long to accept im —probably— autistic (bc now i have done research and stuff for it)#and id see adhd things that were relatable but i felt i related more to the autism + self diagnosing both felt weird (for me not in general#but now like. my mom is willing to accept i might have add??#(there was a long talk in between her asking if i ever thought i had it and her saying i could get a screening where we both agreed that#—if i did have it— i didnt have the hyperactive part. hence the add vs adhd thing)#and now that kinda through off my plans because like. what if i do also had adhd. or something#so yeah small crisis woo#i need to actually look i to symptoms and stuff for adhd though#because im not saying anything til i know more about it and if i actually do have a lot of the things#but this also gives me a chance go write about the autism things as well bc i told my mom i would look into the adhd#so now i can hopefully find a way to bring that up#ive mentioned that autism is a spectrum recently which i didnt think she knew before#so progress i guess#wow long rant in the tags whoops#jasper’s posts#moots have some jaz lore i guess
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what if your lover is a biblically accurate angel and you’re deadly afraid of him but also stare at him with the same awe you would stare at a god with??? what then???
#vashwood#millionsummers#wolfwood being terrified of vash in trimax but also just. chilling with him#or looking at him like the most angelic creature ever created#legato is sooo down bad and loyal to knives that if knives asked him to kill himself he would (he kinda did)#but at the same time he’s scared of his punishment that would be probably worse than christian hell#trigun#i cant stop posting every trigun thought ever grahhh#the rot is consuming me#aaaaaaaaaaa#trigun maximum#vash the stampede#nicholas d. wolfwood#knives millions#millions knives#legato bluesummers#shut up stef
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Guess who actually played and finished Half-Life 2 for the first time! Oh my god it was so good. I was planning to get through HL1 first but I think I got softlocked, I didn't wanna start a new save or go back and I get motion sick because of the damn camera. Also since HL2 was for free, I decided to do that instead <3 I haven't played the episodes yet but man. It's so good you guys should play it. I've purposefully avoided watching play-throughs and its worth it. Anyways, hope you like this little MS paint doodle dump.
#doodle dump#MS paint#half life#half life 2#hl#hl2#hl fanart#half life fanart#half life gordon#hl gordon#half life gordon freeman#half life memes#i thought fast zombies were a ravenholm exclusive so i was terrified to see them again#ALSO YEA EVERYTHING THAT PEOPLE SAY ABOUT RAVENHOLM IS TRUE THAT PLACE IS SCARY AS HELL!!#It took me 2 whole days to finish the entire game i was motivated. also sick but we dont talk about that.
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Bribed my cat with treats into taking a "family photo" for her rescue's new website and she understood the assignment.
#pebble#my face#also the rescue lady was like do you know anyone interested in kittens there are 20+ kittens in foster right now#the thought of kittens terrifies me tbh
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why aren’t there more concepts around the overlord being absolutely terrifying. horror-movie level eldritch being. the embodiment of DARKNESS and EVIL ITSELF should be a terrifying entity not only psychologically but also physically
#the overlord is. so interesting to me.#I want them to be this specific brand of terrifying#which I mean. like I say this as if I don’t want that of half the ninjago villains#kinda being fed finally with people making nadakhan scary which I’ve been wanting since I discovered that bitch can shapeshift#thank you bbnb and the sham#but any shapeshifter in ninjago should be fucking scary#all the oni? should be terrifying including mystake#ALSO THE GHOSTS MORE SCARY S5 ART#anyways I lost my train of thought the overlord should and could be so scary#shakes them around I need. to hyperfixate on them#someone hit me over the head with season 2 3 and crystalized#anyways#I’m gonna. do stuff eventually i’m about to leave for work but when I get free time……..#the overlord#Ninjago#lego ninjago#spinjitsu screams
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something that always gets me about klavier is that he is so clearly just like. friendly. he cares so much and he cares too much. he's one to tease simultaneously but he so clearly just like. loves and loves and loves, even when it puts him in harm's way, he likes people and he likes being around people enough to be desperate for it and for friendship like. ough
#goober.txt#klavier gavin#kristoph gavin#aa4#this is also partially why I am such a truther of nuance in klavier+kris's relationship#I think it mixes well with prev just in like. how much he cares is both part of his core and a byproduct of#being desperate for all the connection he lost + that was plenty dysfunctional on top of that (but all he had)#I think it actively hits harder if he's conflicted for missing someone who was terrible because it was still his brother and like.#I think kris having been good to klavier sometimes (adding to the dysfunction of the bad) is something that I've always liked#because like#I think klavier having a 'is it wrong to want him dead' and 'am I terrible for missing him badly' thing happenin at the same time is!!#so good and also very sad and I love you gavin brother things that capcom didn't give us. love you klavier gavin#I like the idea of him having that confliction alongside his grief :( ow#I literally don't have the right words to properly express all my thought cereal on this. other people have done it though so it is ok haha#I love when fictional grief has the confliction of 'being reminded the monster was also human and that makes everything worse' it's so good#like I hate you. I miss you. the way you were nice to me was so very you and it makes me soft and sad and tired. I miss you.#you were awful in unspeakable ways. I miss you.#sometimes I wonder what my life would have been like without you and it comforts me as much as it terrifies me. I miss you
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isat’s “what should we do with dead bodies” conversation is so so catastrophic to me- and a little horrifying. there’s a range of knowing how you want to die, with Mirabelle knowing the exact religious way she would prefer to be honored, Odile giving her options & preferences that mainly align with Ka Bue’s ideals, and Isabeau not having much thought beyond the general way Vaugaurde does it. They all have thought about it, and know their options well enough that they have some sort of favor or acceptance of the way their body is handled.
And then there is Siffrin, who doesn’t have this luxury at all in multiple senses. They don’t get to know their options beyond the ones from cultures that aren’t their own, the closest we get to see being “throw my ashes into the sky” which, while definitely symbolic & feels fitting for the country’s connection to the sky above, isn’t solid enough to be coined as what the Country actually does (and still, siffrin wouldn’t personally know that death is handled that way back home). He doesn’t get to die, either, and ever be mourned for. They never see how the party responds to their death in the loops, and seeing as they assumed they would just go back to traveling alone like before at the end of the journey, possibly thought they would die alone or silently, completely unaware they would be missed.
post game as well, we never learn how people from the island honor their dead? the king never says anything about it, and it’s likely siffrin will never learn. the only difference is that, now, siffrin knows they will be missed, however they’re disposed of.
#I know this is like.. surface level observation. stating the obvious and whatnot#but it also is kinda terrifying to me?#being buried is scary- but it America it’s the default method many families use for their loved ones#the very last thing someone ever does to you being out of your hands is scary!#especially in this context where it’s cultural differences.#the country doesn’t seem to Have a method for disposing of bodies.#(that we know for certain!)#and this doesn’t really stop for siffrin either#lmk if I got anything wrong or overlooked something!#I don’t have the dialouge up while writing this… teehee.#isat#in stars and time#isat spoilers#in stars and time spoilers#my thought process died a little by the end. sigh.
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Honestly I see Jimmy's refusal to put Curly out of his misery less about his weird feelings of envy or his delusions but the fact Curly is all but stated to be a shield to Jimmy from his actions and people seeing the worst in him.
The only characters that Jimmy really interacts with one on one before the crash are Curly and Anya, two individuals he has wildly different relationships with. It's likely that Curly really did most of the talking between them as the pilots and the rest of the crew as staff. They didn't know of Jimmy's more reprehensible behaviors cause they never really had the chance to and Jimmy is subconsciously aware. If they had disliked him more than Anya would have told Swansea earlier or even Daisuke when things got really bad.
It's why he takes the immediate opportunity to blame Curly; He's the shield. He's saved Jimmy's ass more times than he can count and more times than Jimmy would ever admit. Even when he can't really do it anymore, he mentally shields himself from his own faults by putting Curly between them. Letting Curly die puts too much on him because he doesn't know how to function without a safety net.
In the end Curly only lives because Jimmy needs the idea that Curly will inevitably make things better to stay alive, meaning Curly has to live, no matter how much it pains him to do so.
#in short Jimmy doesnt only care about Curly#he only cares about the securtiy that Curly provides him#and i headcanon that the reason he tried to kill everyone is because he knew it was only a matter of time befor Curly realized this wasnt#somethgin benign Jimmy did that he could smooth over but somethign that Curly would repremand and condem him for and take his security away#like yes Curly did not react fast enough or strongly enough to what Anya told him but you could see him showing more concern over it as I d#understand the psychology behind people and more specifically men like Curly as he is hearing something horrible his friend did to someone#he cares about but has less of a bond with. he feels the need to protect his crew as people first and sadly Jimmy is still the person he wa#closest too yet I still think everything happened too fast for Curly to process as would you not grapple with the fact your closest friend#is a monster you must personally deal with? or that he did something so vile to someone else you have become protective over? Would you not#think of the relative power that friend holds and how if you approuch this wrong it could end badly for everyone? He had all these thoughts#but not enough time to think about them. Also how Jimmy was one of the main people in his personal life he felt a need to protect seeing as#he got him this job. Like imagine the one person you are really trying to make good is still bad after everythign and now you have to be th#hand of judgment youve shielded them from for so long like I do not think Curly handeled the initial situation with Anya correctly I dont#think it was the case of him not believing but not really knowing what to do and feel about it as a friend of both parties the captain and#guy going through his own shit and it says so much that he was dealing with all that so well compared to Jimmy who got everyone killed cuz#he thought being captain would be like sitting on the thrown and not emotionally mentally and physically taxing like I cant say Curly is th#best person due to his inaction but he is a good person doing the best with the knowledge and shitty resources he has cuz like also Id just#be terrified that my suicidal and nilihst bestie who clearly has an inferiority complex around me is the copilot who has access to the most#to the most important parts of the ship and the means to kill us all if he feels like him or his security are being threatened like#Anya and Curly just deserved better because they get put through the ringer like just put him in a class to teach him to be less trusting#anya mouthwashing#curly mouthwashing#captain curly#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#mouthwashing curly#mouthwashing anya#mouthwashing jimmy#jimmy mouthwashing#mouthwashing spoilers
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Utena characters always resonate in such a thematic, sideways way. As in, even if I identify with Juri sometimes, the show always manages to throw itself in the way of that. Like many lesbians unrequited feelings were the origin of my lesbianism so of course some aspects of this are expressed through Juri's narrative in a relatable way, the "miracles don't exist" concept in particular if I interpret it as Juri justifying being unable to bare her throat to Shiori and the world. Juri's nihilism over her own deviance keeps her from true human connection, and I could see many people, regardless of their sexuality, finding this theming a little pointed. But what actually happens narratively between Shiori and Juri is an unreal drama that strains toward an extreme actualization of the dynamics involved. Their alienation is a kaleidoscopic spectacle. I really love this about RGU, I find it so electrifying that it delivers universal themes to the audience with so much obfuscation and exaggeration. That's theater, baby!
#my utena thoughts#revolutionary girl utena#utena always indirectly reading me down#'Afraid of being seen as a human being? Also paradoxically terrified of being too weird to count as a human being? NANAMI'S EGG!!!'#utena
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ok anime youve sold me on the uniforms thing!!!!
#youkai gakkou no sensei hajimemashita#a terrified teacher at ghoul school#yohaji#u show me hijita thighs and sano midriff and qipao and i eat that shit up#episode 1 thoughts:#honestly i highkey fuck with the artstyle. it works and it gets the most important parts down (chibis)#i thought the trailer wasnt doing it justice bc this style works better in full scenes and not the smash cut trailer editing and i was RIGH#the pacing and cutting from ch 1 to 3 isnt that big of a deal if u treat the anime like a side dish eat alongside the manga#but i did want to see haru claw the blackboard lmao#ALSO SEIMEI FANSERVICE ARFARFARFARFARF BARKBARK#IM GOING TO GO BALLISTIC WHEN AME APPEARS. I WILL NEVER BE NORMAL AGAIN
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