#the thing that gets me the most is that it's literally just outside circumstances against them

[booasaur]

Special Ops: Lioness - 1x08

[connabeth]

rick really woke up and said "what if i give the people what they want for once" and gave us grumpy black cat introvert percy and sunshine golden retriever extrovert annabeth we never knew we needed

also no one's talking about how percy made friends with annabeth's college's security guard (Florence or smthn?) so he's the only one allowed to walk in her campus anytime?

also I found a typo in the third chapter where dave was accidentally called paul which I found really funny

1) i’m glad this series is doing justice to annabeth’s personality because she spent so much of pjo & hoo caught in an inner turmoil of hurt and uncertainty and self-loathing and insecurity and fear given the circumstances of luke’s betrayal and percy’s imminent death. in spite of it all, she was still a bastion of hope and light throughout those books, but she deserves to be silly and unburdened by the weight of the world now that she has percy back and there’s no big prophecy (unresolved trauma aside). i think, in her mind, even though new, crazy things keep being thrown at them and she most certainly deals with a latent fear of losing percy at any moment, she’s resolute and confident that they can overcome anything that gets in their way of their dream of going to college and finding peace together because she feels that invigorated and wants it that bad. even if greco-egyptian gods or a triple goddess or a mortal apollo pop up throughout their senior year. i feel like she’s giving herself the freedom to just let go, breathe, be sure everything will be okay in the end, and just be excited about things without drowning in worry for once, which i love. she deserves to feel that childlike enthusiasm she was deprived of for so long. her confidence that they’ll be okay extends to percy being able to complete all his classwork and applications, which in turn reinforces his determination.

2) as for percy, he’s definitely the more outwardly insecure out of the two, mainly because of how his academic prowess pales in comparison to hers and the fact that he feels he doesn’t deserve her and she’s way better than him. percy thinking her SODNYC friends perceive him in the same critical light obviously isn’t helping. it’s evident in the way he’s amazed when he looks at her, disbelieving for a second that she’s his girlfriend, and how he observes her interaction with others more similar to her, feeling like an outsider who can’t understand that part of her brain the way her friends can. it’s even more abundantly clear when he believes “She would always succeed whether I was around or not,” which in theory is a sweet sentiment to have about your very capable girlfriend, but academic and social success aside, she needs him as much as he needs her and she’d see no point in being in california without him. but his insecurities and easy jealousy prevent him from fully understanding this even if he innately knows it’s a universal truth that they’re meant to be together. however, all this being said, percy’s characterization in wottg so far is a little…weird. in order for you to literally pee your pants, something must scare you or catch you off guard really, really bad. so while it makes sense for him to fear a powerful goddess, wetting his boxers seems like an extreme reaction. i know rick was probably just trying to insert immature humor, but the implications are not what he was going for considering this is the boy who didn’t have that reaction staring down titans and giants and nyx and tartarus himself. so forgive me if i think it’s a little insane that percy having such a visceral reaction to a goddess 13 year old hazel fared well against is out of character, even after taking into consideration his fear of not receiving and completing the remaining quests on time. it makes sense for him to be nervous and on edge, given the quiet of the past month, but that amount of fear towards a deity who’s not the most scary thing he’s faced down is an interesting choice since rick isn’t known for realistic depictions of PTSD and that likely isn’t the intention here. it’s also curious how it’s implied even a goddess as primordial as aphrodite caves in to hecate…

3) florence is the goat and i love percy making random friends to help his cause. he doesn’t go out of his way to befriend others in the mortal world unless they approach him first or there’s an opportunity there. and the fact that annabeth can a casually ask her friend to cover for her being gone from her dorm for several days makes me think this is far from the first time she’s snuck out for prolonged periods of time👀

4) this is an INSANE typo to have in a book because clearly not a single person proofread it and it doesn’t surprise me that it got past rick, but becky and several rounds of editors and everyone else in his circle who’s read the book not picking up on it prior to publication is wild. rick is too eager to have his self-insert be everywhere and it shows💀

[autisticsupervillain]

FTF Monthly Matchups!

Ranking: The Beta Trolls from weakest to strongest!

It took me.... a long time to decide how I was going to rank this. I'm going to be ranking each of the Beta Trolls based off of how powerful they are at their strongest. So for characters with multiple forms, that would be whatever their strongest version is. God-Tier Aradia, Ancestral Awakening Vriska, etc. I will usually discuss how strong I think their weaker iterations are when I get to them anyways.

I will be analyzing their Alpha Timeline counterparts specifically, as while we see a lot of doomed timeline counterparts that have reached God-Tier, we aren't really given any context to measure their abilities off of. I will also be completely ignoring feats featured in non-canon works. No Homestuck^2, no Epilogues, no Pesterquest.

Finally, no Sprites. I'll be restricting this to just the Base Beta Trolls. Sprites are fusions between multiple characters and if you want to go down that road, Lord English is a fusion involving Gamzee and Equius, so......

The criteria is as follows. The characters ranked highest are those who could most consistently defeat everyone ranked below them in a one-on-one fight with no outside interference. This does not necessitate that they can kill everyone ranked below them. If character A can incapacitate Character B but has no way to finish them off, that still counts as a win. This is to keep the immortal characters from winning by default against everyone who can't kill them. Not that they strictly need that boon to rank fairly high regardless.

With all that out of the way, let's begin.

12. Karkat Vantas

Yeah, you all probably knew this was coming. Despite being one of the best characters by a mile, there's just nowhere that the crabby friendleader can reliably place on this list higher than dead last.

Now, in his defense, Karkat's a very strong fighter in his own right. Despite being an ordinary mortal for the entire story, Karkat survives the longest out of nearly anyone in the entire main cast without dying once, only finally getting put down in Game Over by Jane and Gamzee respectively. That's nothing to sneeze at. He's a survivor for sure, but his strengths simply aren't suited to a one on one fight.

Positives first, Karkat's ability to unify his team was instrumental in ensuring they all survived long enough to beat the game, successfully keeping them all from killing each other even in dire circumstances until the dire straights hit critical mass. He also has a unique counter to probability manipulation. His luck is so terrible that it is able to counter out an opponent's good luck abilities, allowing him to fight opponents like Clover who are literally untouchable due to their sheer superhuman luck.

Besides that.... he doesn't have much. A lot of Karkat's best arguable showings come from things his friends would already having going for them by default. Surviving crash landing to Alternia in a meteor? Battling against the armies of Derse? Fighting against the Black King? All things other members of his team participated in to degrees to esceed him.

Karkat is a Blood Player. He's built to maintain friendships. His most impressive showings are him talking people down from fighting him by befriending them. But since Karkat already is/was friends with most of these people to begin with.... that doesn't really help him here. If one of your most notable skills combat wise is how much your luck sucks.... that's not a good look.

Given all the shit he's gone through, Karkat is genuinely a good fighter in his own right. Just not when compared to everyone else on his contacts list.

Maybe Karkat can just seduce them. Everyone loves flirting with this little shit.

11. Tavros Nitram

You might be surprised that Tav isn't in last place here, but I think this toreador has more going for him than meets the eye.

I've already covered Tavros vs Karkat as a matchup in more detail in its own post, so I'll be brief here. While Karkat is remarkably dexterous and nimble in his own right, he doesn't have a means of countering actual flight, which Tavros has with his rocket wheelchair. Moreover, Tavros has slightly more combat experience owing to his time spent in Fatal Live Action Roleplay. It's just like normal LARPing, but the Players actually try and kill each other. Which is doubly humiliating for Karkat because Tavros can say "I'm a better fighter than you because I'm a LARPer" and technically be right.

But, the thing most heavily carrying Tavros here are his animal communion powers. This telepathic ability allows him to communicate with and control animals and similar creatures, even if they are entire universes away. This ability expands to First Guardians, nigh-omnipotent, reality warping gods, so long as they are also animals in some way.

If Tavros uses this ability to its full extent, he has the potential to beat characters much higher up on this list. The issue is he's not very often going to be in a scenario where he can make the most of it and, even if he is, calling on a First Guardian would be outside help. Besides, it's pretty out of character for him to make a God wish you out of existence.

All that said, it's still pretty funny that Tavros technically has the means to likely solo your favorite universe so long as Bec is lying around somewhere. And even without that, his ability to fly away and sic the whole animal kingdom on you makes him an opponent you'd be loathed to underestimate no matter how you look at it.

10. Nepeta Leijon

Nepeta earns her spot on the list by being demonstratably much stronger and more skilled than either Karkat or Tavros. Unlike those two, who are either relatively bad at or actively dislike having to fight anyone, Nepeta is a proud Apex Predator. She's a huntress who fights the horrible beasts of Alternia for fun and is able to sleep through the vivid nightmares that Trolls get when they try to sleep without sopor slime simply because she views them as thrilling memories of the hunt. Certainly more impressive than glorified deadly LARPing.

Key difference being Tavros is such a sweetheart that he hates fighting, while Nepeta is a sweetheart who happens to deeply love fighting. While Nepeta can't fly, her experience in fighting deadly beasts should make her more than capable of slicing through almost any animal Tavros could through at her, reducing his flight to a stall tactic that drags out the fight more than anything else. Her biggest problem would likely be hesitating to hurt Karkat due to her crush on him.... which would be minor in comparison to his reluctance to hurt her because of his survivor's guilt over her death, so it all balances out.

Notably, she's one of the few characters we see actually being able to stagger her moirail Equius, even knocking him off his feet at one point. Given Equius's complete inability to control his own strength and the sheer ridiculousness of his own feats, that's impressive all on its own. Far moreso than anything Karkat or Tavros could manage.

Nepeta is only held back from placing any higher by her relative lack of screentime compared to everyone else. The fact that Gamzee was able to snap her wrist and kill her offscreen without much effort doesn't help. But for all her shortcomings, Nepeta called herself a mighty huntress for a reason.

9. Equius Zahhak

Here's someone I was going to place a lot higher.

The second half of the Meowrails duo is frequently hyped up as being one of the strongest members on the team and for good reason. This is the same guy who can bend and shape metal bear handed, punch the heads off of giant monsters with ease, and jump into the stratosphere in a single bound. He's even survived getting beaten down by Aradiabot. The same kind of beating that killed Pre God Tier Vriska outright.

Equius combines his freakish strength with a genius technical mind, frequently building and rebuilding training robots for him to spar with. He's the genius the built Aradiabot's body to house Aradia's soul, after all.

Needless to say, he'd handle Karkat and Tavros simultaneously with ease. The question isn't if Equius can beat them, it's if he'd kill them accidentally, as Equius notoriously can't control his strength. Equius frequently breaks people's bones just by touching them and can't properly wield a bow because he accidentally snaps it in half.

As a hoghblood much farther up on the hemopectrum than any of there characters prior, Equius has a lifespan hundreds, if not thousands of years longer than a normal human and he's incredible resistant to psychic influence.

Resistant, but not immune. When Gamzee first prioritized Equius as a target in his rampage, his psychically influenced his mind to make him unwilling to fight back because he knew Equius's strength would provide an issue. Given what Gamzee himself is capable of himself, the fact that he rated Equius highly enough to be cautious in dealing with him speaks highly to the threat Equius can pose.

8. Feferi Piexes

The heiress to troll kind and the future would be Empress, what Feferi lacks in direct feats and screentime, she more than makes up for in scaling. She can haul around whale carcasses under the ocean with ease and replicate Equius's feat of souring high into the atmosphere, hinting that they should be at least at a comparable level. Even the Condescension herself seem to consider her as a viable potential threat to her in line for the throne, as she would've killed Feferi herself by now if Gl'bgolyb wasn't actively protecting her. That's far more billing than Equius ever got. Equius is freakishly strong by the standards of his caste, but the Condescension is one of the strongest of all trolls period.

As the highest troll on the Hemospectrum, Feferi is completely immune to all forms of psychic influence, including those from the Horrorterrors. Gl'bgolyb, whose shouts can drive all of troll kind to extinction across the galaxy, has no negative effect on Feferi. Furthermore, she's biologically immortal. Just like her ancestor before her, she'll live for centuries and still be in her prime. Or rather, she would have if she wasn't cut down before her time.

Luckily, her connection to the Horrorterrors allows her to help her friends even in death, convincing them to build an afterlife for her friends so they don't cease to exist after death.

In a straight fight, I favor her over Equius due to her more impressive accolades and due to the fact that she can actually control her iwn strength. Equius literally can't even use his weapon properly because of his. Even in the event that the caste worshipping Equius would be willing to give his all in a fight with the Heiress, I see Feferi taking it more times than not.

7. Sollux Captor

Sollux is where things really begin ramping up in the feats department. Sollux is where a vast majority of the good feats for the mid-tiers comes from. As the Descendant of the Psiioniic, the most powerful telekinetic in Alternian history, Sollux has inherited an incredible amount of power. The same power that could move spaceships across entire galaxies in hours is his to command.

Sollux can push a meteor the size of a moon into the Furthest Ring at speeds bordering on light. Given the sheer weight of the moon, that would generate kinetic energy equivalent to 0.8 Foe. Nearly as much energy as a supernova!

He can reach across entire universes with this sheer telekinetic might, capable of destroying machines that are in another universe entirely or deflecting meteors that orbit around the Incipisphere, which is roughly 45 million times larger than the universe, traveling at 6 quinvigintillion times light speed.

Source:

In other words, these greasy hacker could more than likely solo most of your favorite universes just off stats alone. To compare to his fellows, Sollux has the unique ability to hear the words of the soon to be dead and he's treated as one of the most freakishly powerful characters on the team in general. He stalemated Eridan during their clash in the game and he's the only member of the team to survive a blast from Eridan's wand during Murderstuck. This puts him directly above Feferi, who was taken out in one hit. Not to mention his ability to telekinetically fly away and spam eye lasers from a distance would easily allow him to snipe Equius and Feferi from a distance before either could do anything to close the gap.

Noteworthy, though is the fact that this blow did still blind him and knock him out. The only reason he survived was because Eridan assumed he was already dead. Which should indicate pretty well who exactly is going to rank right above him.

6. Eridan Ampora

The genocidal seadweller prince arrives to close out the middle half of this ranking. Despite his ambitions of bringing about doomsday for everyone without gills, Eridan does not live up to his own grandeur. Though he's still one of the most dangerous people Alternia has to offer regardless.

Eridan proudly sports the laser canon known as Ahab's Crosshairs, a powerful beam weapon capable of punching holes in building sized monsters and matching blasts with Sollux Captor pound for pound. As the one tasked with killing Lusi to feed Gl'bgolyb, he has plenty of experience using it, even managing to slaughter an entire planet full of angels with it. His real ace in the hole, however, is his wand.

Despite being just a regular stick, Eridan's latent Hope powers empower this tool into a genuine magical artifact, completely capable of making mincemeat out of the rest of his team. He was able to one shot Sollux, Feferi, and Kanaya in quick succession and would've posed a genuine threat to both Vriska and Gamzee afterwards if he'd gotten that far.

Unfortunately, he's kept from placing any higher by his limitations. He's a massive glass cannon without his two major weapons, to the point that he'd likely place far lower on this list if he didn't have them, and he's not nearly as smart as he thinks he is.

Slaughtering all the Angels in his path was something he convinced himself he had to do out of paranoia, turning all of them permanently aggressive against him when they would've been completely friendly otherwise. Not to mention that, before the game, he got curb stomped by Vriska so many times that she got bored of his antics and left him. He makes it to this spot more despite himself than anything, as I consider a few who came before him to be much better at actually fighting.

Even Sollux vs Eridan is a bit more up in the air than it seems. If you throw current Sollux with all the experiences he's had throughout Homestuck into that same situation and he could easily just yank the weapons out of Eridan's hands. But that doesn't change the fact that, in a death match where both were at their best in story, Eridan still explicitly won.

5. Kanaya Maryam

Darling Kanaya brings us into the top five. This chainsaw wielding, zombie fighting fashionesta was a force to be reckoned with already, but upon becoming an undead Rainbow Drinker, she became a one woman army.

Upon resurrecting, the very first thing she did was interrupt the impending three way brawl between Vriska, Gamzee, and Eridan by solidly dunking on all three of them. She decked Vriska hard enough to send her flying, kicked Gamzee in the dick so hard he went soaring into the abyss, and snapped Eridan's wand in half like a twig before carving him clean in half.

As an immortal undead of the day, Kanaya is immune to otherwise lethal sunlight of Alternia and is immortal, continuing on even despite missing her stomach cavity completely. She long as she feeds some multicolored blood, she'll keep going even through otherwise lethal injuries.

I do think a good argument could be made for placing her even higher on this list given the threat she poses to Gamzee. Every hit she's ever landed on the clown has been absolutely devastating. But, there are a few things that hold her back from this in my opinion.

Firstly, we don't really know how the first encounter would've played out had the fight continued. Despite the truly devastating groin attack, Gamzee got right back up and both were raring up ready to continue into round two before Karkat intervened. Secondly, Gamzee still wasn't dead after Kanaya chainsawed him in Game Over. There's no Dead text we see whenever a troll dies, even though Karkat gets that treatment from dying in the lava moments earlier. As such, Kanaya gets vaporized by the Condescension before the fight can continue.

This means that, despite these two clearly being in the same league, they've never really gotten to fight on even ground before. And in that circumstance.... I'd have to favor Gamzee slightly.

Hear me out. While Kanaya is entirely capable of chainsawing him up and leaving him incapacitated like in Game Over, she has no counter against Gamzee’s mind manipulation. Whenever Gamzee has to fight someone who possesses an actual threat to him, he resorts to either mind manipulation or emotional manipulation. See Equius and Terezi for example. And given their history, Gamzee would absolutely see her as a massive threat. So, more likely than not, he'd mind control her in a similar vein to Equius in order to avoid that issue entirely.

That said, she's still and absolutely massive threat to him and the amount of characters who can actually force Gamzee to take them that seriously are few and far between.

4. Vriska Serket

Vriska Serket. The myth, the 8itch, the legend has climbed her way to the top, much to no one's suprise. I agonized a lot over where I wanted to order these next three characters and it might suprise a lot of people to see her put this low relatively speaking. But, rest assured, the Spider Pirate Queen will be getting her dues.

Vriska is one of the most experienced, versatile, and ruthless characters on this entire list. With a body count in the thousands before the story even starts, Vriska is cruel, brutal, and vindictive when provoked, be that mind controlling you to jump off a cliff or mind controlling your boyfriend to vaporize you utterly. As a Thief of Light, Vriska has a knack for lore finding and a tendency for luck. Her passive ability to steal and manipulate luck to her favor amplifies her fighting style, allowing her to use her dicekind for anything from putting you to sleep to decapitating you with a guillotine. Her going God-Tier only amplifies this further while giving her a healthy dose of immortality.

As a literally God, Vriska gains the ability to fly and is gifted with complete immortality. So long as she doesn't die in a way the game deems heroic or just, Vriska will be resurrected from virtually any kind of death. Some God-Tiers have resurrected even as reality was collapsing about their heads even.

But, even this is far from Vriska's full strength. If she so chooses, she could land a perfect roll with her dice and tao into her Ancestral Awakening form. With this strength, she can even match the power of a First Guardian infused Bec Noir, who could singlehandedly destroy universe.

Of note, universes in Homestuck are in all actuality composed of infinite timelines and infinite iterations of themselves, making them functionally infinite multiverses. And while Vriska ultimately died in the timeline this fight happened in, she went down as an even match against Jack.

The only thing keeping her from placing any higher on this list is her own shortcomings and weaknesses. Namely, her massive ego, which singlehandedly got all of her friends killed when she went to battle Bec Noir. For all of her claims of having "all the irons in the fire" her idea of a plan is usually to just use her powers to cheat. Certainly not a bad strategy, her body count speaks for itself, but Terezi is moreso the tactician of their duo than her. Vriska is not the master manipulator she fancies herself as and her deep seated vulnerability has been used against her on occasion.

Such as when, uh.... she was groomed into a romantic relationship by Meenah. Meenah was 19... and Vriska was 13. That's a college student and a middle schooler...

Vriska refuses to acknowledge this more vulnerable part of herself even exists most of the time, frequently grappling with the guilt and lack their of that she feels for her actions. Truth be told, she struggles to admit to herself that she doesn't actually want to be a bloodthirsty killer like her glorious ancestor. And against the following two in particular, that's a very glaring vulnerability to have.

3. Gamzee Makara

You can't the clown down. Or out of the top 3 for that matter.

It suprised me to consider that Gamzee could be considered to be in the same weight class as Ancestral Awakening Vriska, but it was while researching these characters again that I discovered something interesting. Recall Karkat's retelling of the fight against the Black King. Specifically, the part where he notes that Gamzee did more damage to the King in one attack than everyone else on the team could manage at the time.

Including Vriska, who we know for a fact used her Ancestral Awakening ability during that fight.

Combine this with the fact that Gamzee has canonically soloed everyone else on this kist by himself in at least one alternate timeline and it's safe to say we know why he ranked this high.

The biggest issue with ranking Gamzee is that he cannot die. Ever.

There is not a single timeline in the Homestuck multiverse where Gamzee Makara has ever died. No one on this list can kill him.

He's survived getting sucked into a planet sized black hole, endured a brutal beatdown from Caliborn, who himself tanked a solar system sized black hole, and has been craved clean in half and melted in lava. It did not kill him. Gamzee has literally plot armor ensuring he cannot die.

This plays nicely into his Rage powers, ensuring he gets stronger the angrier he gets. Sooner or later, he will be strong enough to kill you in turn as you fail to kill him.

Gamzee combines all of this with a frightfully efficient tactical mind. He's very good at using his mind powers in subtle ways to get his opponent to do what he wants. Convincing Terezi of Vriska's guilt while building up to their confrontation, negating Equius to keep him from fighting back, and influencing John's entire life throughout his childhood with nightmares, having him vandalize his own room in ways he couldn't even perceive.

Gamzee uses this to be as emotionally devastating to his foes as possible, playing on Terezi's grief following her killing of Vriska to trap her in an abusive relationship and keep her ineffectual, even leveraging their relationship at the crucial moment of the Game Over timeline to reduce her to tears.... before suplexing her through a bridge.

Combine this emotional ruthlessness with Vriska's weaknesses discussed above. Vriska is not a match for Gamzee in a battle of telepathy. While Vriska can at best put humans to sleep, Gamzee can manipulate them for their entire childhoods without them ever knowing. This is amplified by Gamzee’s telepathy specifically targeting emotional vulnerabilities like traumas and fears, as Vriska has a basket full of those that she refuses to acknowledge. Simply put, the immortal clown is almost perfectly equipped to take her down.

This may seem strange. Vriska is usually identified as a key component in keeping the Retcon timeline on track and keeping Gamzee from being a legitimate threat, right?

Well, the credit there can go moreso to our next contender....

2. Terezi Pyrope

Despite being the only ordinary mortal remaining on the front lines by the time of Act 7, Terezi is by far one of the most capable in the entire cast.

Above all, Terezi arguably is the best strategist of anyone here. For as much as Karkat postured about being the leader, Terezi and Aradia were really the ones calling the shots tactically. Terezi's plans can frequently span entire timelines and all of them almost always go up her way. Exploiting the Queen's hatred of frogs to keep her from transforming, manipulating John to his death so that Dave could travel back to become Davesprite, giving John detailed instructions on how to undo the Game Over timeline, and even manipulating the nigh-omniscient Doc Scratch into doing her dirty work for her to get back Vriska. Terezi is a consumate Magnificent Bastard and I have read her book.

For as much as Gamzee emotionally devastated her throughout Act 6, Terezi shows full well why he had to focus that much attention on keeping her in check. Because without the grief of personally murdering her best friend/worst enemy/Scourge Sister/girlfriend to save everyone else, Gamzee cannot take Terezi in a straight up fight. She hog ties him down as soon as she catches wind of what's going on together she and Vriska make sure he never sees the outside of a fridge for the next 3 years.

Between shutting Gamzee down completely, helping fight the Condescension on the front lines, and having knocking John on his ass while he was empowered by the Treasure, Terezi really is Hussie's favorite, isn't she? For as much crap as Gamzee and Vriska get for getting away with things they absolutely shouldn't have, Terezi is an ordinary mortal boxing against Gods.

Abilities wise, Terezi's most notable aspects are her precognition, which she uses for maximum effectiveness in her sprawling plans, and her superhuman sense of smell and taste, making up for her blindness by smelling the color of the blood in your veins and tasting your appearance. Not as impressive as some Abilities on here to be sure, but her established scaling alone would give her plenty of ways to muscle through all the competition that came before her.

But, for as much as I hesitated for the prefinal slots, there was only ever one choice for top spot....

1. Aradia Megido

Aradia is the strongest troll in Homestuck and it frankly isn't close.

Even as Aradiabot, she's admitted she could snap God-Tier Vriska's neck with a twitch. As an actual time goddess herself now, Vriska wouldn't stand a chance.

The first thing Aradia did upon being reborn a God-Tier was freeze Bec Noir in time, before making her escape by traveling through the portal in his body in a split second before he could react. This is despite the fact that Bec Noir can travel in the Furthest Ring. Where time does not exist.

Aradia froze time on someone who can move faster than time and then escaped before he could react.

Not only that, but Aradia can freely summon time clones of herself from other points in time, allowing her to overwhelm her enemies with an endless army of herself. These two abilities alone would freely allow her to just.... shut down anyone lower than her on the list. Stop time and dog pile. Easy. Aradia backs this up with tactical ingenuity, having been pulling the strings on her team the entire time to keeping them from dooming the timeline and prevent them from entering no win scenarios. Every situation that someone on this list has been in is a scenario she's examined or been through to make sure nothing goes wrong. She's really only rivaled in the planning department by Terezi.

But, finally, she's the only one on this list who could harm Lord English himself. The invincible demon who was destoying the entire Homestuck cosmology. Not just harming him, but riding him like helpless tamed bull with her whip.

Next to everyone else.... Aradia is just in a league of her own.

[cilil]

Headcanons, re: Melkor's and Manwë's origins and relation

So when it comes to Melkor and Manwë I find myself in a bit of a "headcanon dilemma". On one hand, I really like the idea of them being twins, but on the other hand, a lot of stuff that I personally hc regarding their interpersonal dynamic and conflict rests on the basic assumption that Melkor is older than Manwë - not too much, as in not on the same level as I hc for the Fëanturi (with Námo practically raising Irmo), but a noticeable, significant amount. Enough for Melkor to have spent some time alone with Eru, let's say.

(Side note: I am aware of that one line stating they were coeval. What I'm going to say next will address how I'm trying to solve that conflict and afterwards I'll cycle back to it to explain why I felt like deviating from it/not taking it as literally.)

I've been rotating this back and forth in my head for a while, trying to figure out how I can fit these two ideas together, and what occurred to me now are two things:

The Timeless Halls. Timeless. Time doesn't exist as we know it there ("Then those of the Ainur who desired it arose and entered into the World at the beginning of Time" - Valaquenta)

Ainur are made from Eru's thoughts ("and Eru made first the Ainur, the Holy Ones, that were the offspring of his thought" - Ainulindalë)

With this in mind, as well as the fact that Ainur are spirit beings in general and exist outside of most "biological realities" (for lack of a better term) that inform the relations and interactions between incarnate beings, I think that Ainur twins don't have to be the same age. While coeval is defined as "of the same or equal age, antiquity, or duration" (source: Merriam-Webster), therefore having a clear temporal dimension to it, I would say that, under the above mentioned circumstances, such a notion would be more vague, have less clear boundaries.

(Personally, I see all of the Aratar as more or less "coeval", with the non-Arata Valar being a sort of "second generation" or "later additions" if you will, and the Maiar being made some time after them. My headcanon is that Eru had no plans to raise every single Ainu individually and only did so for the oldest Aratar, later relying on them and subsequently the other Valar and older generation of Maiar to raise and teach the young Ainur (and yes, parentification is a thing and yes, in real life it's a problem).)

Now cycling back to my original "issue" with the coeval line (not really, but just the reason why I wanted to read it a little differently), I felt like it was a bit... strange? thematically. Again, the part of Melkor and Manwë being essentially the evil and good twin is a dynamic I really like, but they're "made" from rather different "blueprints".

While Manwë has a special position as the Elder King, the other Aratar are his peers ("Though Manwë is their King and holds their allegiance under Eru, in majesty they are peers" - Valaquenta) and he's very much like any other Vala in the sense that he has one particular domain that informs his nature and where his talents lie and outside of that he relies on cooperation with his fellow Valar.

Melkor on the other hand (though don't get me wrong, he wasn't supposed to never go without any sort of collaboration or support) is special in the sense that he has a share in the other Valar's domains ("To Melkor among the Ainur had been given the greatest gifts of power and knowledge, and he had a share in all the gifts of his brethren." - Ainulindalë) and he's so vastly more powerful that he was able to hold his own against everyone else for a long time:

"Melkor must be made far more powerful in original nature (cf. 'Finrod and Andreth'). The greatest power under Eru (sc. the greatest created power).(1) (He was to make I devise I begin; Manwe (a little less great) was to improve, carry out, complete.) Later, he must not be able to be controlled or 'chained' by all the Valar combined. Note that in the early age of Arda he was alone able to drive the Valar out of Middle-earth into retreat." (Melkor Morgoth, Morgoth's Ring)

In my mind, it doesn't really "fit" for Eru to make this twin pair of Valar, born at the same time and presumably first, before all the other Ainur, and have one be this super powerful, not domain-bound Vala and the other being significantly less strong and very much domain-bound, as well as further restricted by not comprehending evil ("For Manwë was free from evil and could not comprehend it" - Of Fëanor and the Unchaining of Melkor).

What it does fit into is this idea prevalent in a lot of medieval narratives (broadly speaking) that the eldest son is special and usually the "greatest" and "most powerful", according to whichever metric is important in any given context. This idea can be found in Tolkien's works as well, one notable example being Fëanor.

Therefore I like to hc that Eru made Melkor first and, dare I say, made him in his own image as well. But then he quickly realized Melkor's potential for evil/his shortcomings/wasn't fully content with how he turned out/wanted to course-correct and "continued the thought" Melkor had come from, adding Manwë as his twin brother to balance him out; not in power, but in nature and purpose.

And the reason why Manwë knew that Melkor was like him originally, but at first failed to see what he turned himself into ("and he knew that in the beginning, in the thought of Ilúvatar, Melkor had been even as he; and he saw not to the depths of Melkor’s heart, and did not perceive that all love had departed from him for ever" - same source as last quote, sentence continued) is because Manwë came from that same thought.

~

So yeah, just my two cents and I want to stress again that these are my headcanons and my currently preferred reading and understanding of the above lines; the goal is never to say "you can't have your headcanons and here's why".

[1bringthesun]

what a lot of bsd fans, especially the younger ones, don’t understand is why or under what circumstances characters are described as “childish.”

it’s always a slap in the face when i see someone say, “oh, Oda called Dazai a ‘crying child,’ and people still ship them? obviously he’s his father figure!”

i’m not gonna argue against the fact Oda could have been some sort of authoritative, caring, older, responsible guy to Dazai, but under no circumstances do i think Oda saw Dazai as a kid.

as far as BSD goes, Oda is one of the most respectful characters to other people’s perceptions of themselves. hell, he didn’t even see his orphans as children. he had a convo with one of the em in dark era that went something like this:

“It’s always so upsetting when Pops treats us like children. We’re not kids, y’know? We’re adults. Is the fact that we grew up so fast an issue for the grown-ups?”

“Mhm, it probably is.”

so, if Oda doesn’t see a literal eight-year-old as a child simply because he knows how mature he is, what makes people think he’d see Dazai of all people as one…?

the reason Oda described Dazai as wearing the expression of “a child about to cry” has nothing to do with his age or his maturity- it’s because there’s a distinct difference in the way adults and children cry.

when adults cry, it’s with the knowledge that they’re not the only one suffering. that the world isn’t against them, but instead, they probably got themselves into a bad situation. when children cry, it’s free from rationalization and logic, just pure unadulterated agony at something that may not even matter in the grand scheme of things.

it’s not that Dazai is dumb, can’t understand that the world doesn’t revolve around him, or seems like a kid to Oda, it’s that the chasm in his heart transcends the normal despair of what you’d expect to see in a grown-up. it’s the same flavor of raw pain that you can see a child display when something doesn’t go their way, the same blindness to anything outside of their own point of view.

Dazai looked like “a child on the brink of tears” because while walking into the outstretched gun of a sniper, he could only see his own abysmal emptiness.

Oda also described Mori as having a child-like grin or something of the sort, so if he sees Dazai as a kid because of that, i’m going to claim he saw the boss of the mafia who happens to be double his age as a kid, too.

this is just something that has been on my mind, especially since i’ve been seeing an influx of Oda dad content. everyone’s entitled to their own opinions and headcanons, of course, but it admittedly grates on me when people get attacked for something stupid like this, and since the tumblr bsd community seems to be forgiving, i’m talking about it here.

[mystic-myrtille]

I'm in a salt mode so lets get into this

One of the biggest problems people had with the L//S is how poorly developed it's been and how less effort it has been put into it, And don't get me started how Adrichat and Maribug barely interact basically making the ship have 0 chemistry.

But then when ships like Lukanette and Adrigami came along, then there's some Toxic L//S stans who bash the characters (and doxx lukanette and adrigami shippers), with their only excuse being "ThEy R iN tHe Way of adr///ette/L//s (Mainly because they're insecure that Lukanette/Adrigami has Chemistry, proper development and effort and their ship doesn't)

I'm so sick and tired of the hate that Lukanette/Adrigami gets.

I'm so sick and tired of the hate that Luka/Kagami gets.

I'm so sick and tired of toxic L//S stans projecting their ship on every. single. damn. thing

I'm so sick and tired of seeing Lukanette/Adrigami shippers get d0xxed, threatened and bullied just because they don't ship the L//S or Adr//ette

Yikes, people doxxed each other because of ships?? For some reason I'm not entirely surprised. I've seen fandoms with super toxic people and the ml fandom sure can be toxic as hell. If you (general) get so worked up about people's opinions about characters from a kids show, you should be denied access to the internet and instead have access to tons grass to touch. But yeah, even just "normal hate" can be frustrating and discouraging, so it's best to just block those people. I completely understand your frustration.

Luka//nette isn't good because they were half canon, it's good because they have a meaningful bond and the root for drama is always outside circumstances and not the fact that they fundementally don't work together. If Mari wasn't Ladybug, they probably wouldn't have split up. That's why I love this ship so much. Besides, they never got in the way of anything. Realistically, no ship can get in the way of a confirmed endgame ship bc, well, it's endgame. So this argument is kind of falls flat (honestly most arguments against Luka//nette I've heard were either not really important or kind of a very outlandish interpretation of their relationship, I don't care about either.)

Heck, even if Luka//nette wasn't the rival ship but just friends in canon who interacted twice, who cares? Shipping isn't supposed to be serious, it's exploring different dynamics between characters and having fun putting them in different scenarios and have them have 6176310278 different first kisses. There's no rule that you have to be on board with the canon ship.

Now speaking of L//S developement (bc now I'm also in a salty mood and I have thoughts)

I and many others have already talked about how s1-4 didn't really do much with them. But I find it funny when people say that s5 did a great job developing they're relationship because... bitch where? I've watched season 5 (I have no self respect) and everything was confusing and over the place and I think that's bc the writers can't make up their minds about which problems the L//S might face actually matter and how they can be solved.

The season starts with Mari making a big deal about how loving Adrien is dangerous because hero stuff. Oh but actually it doesn’t matter, she likes CN now, problem solved! Oh wait no Chat friendzoned her and Adrien is pushing real hard for Adr//nette so they give up their fucking miraculous (in times of crisis I might add), problem solved! No wait, actually the new heroes suck so they take them back, but that’s okay bc being in love and being a superhero at the same time is actually no longer a problem for some reason! The actual problem is that Mari is incapable of expressing herself because she has trauma. And THAT’S the real shit because fucking everybody gets so invested they organize literal dates for them and watch from a distance until they smooch instead of, oh idk, letting them do things their own way. But actually that also doesn't matter anymore bc Zoe just confessed and Mari was so inspired she immediately ran to Adrien. Oh but Adrien is a senti without free will and he goes to england soon whoopsie. Also Gabriel and Tomoe are now Adri//gami shippers because of course we need an arranged marriage deal type of plot. Oh yeah there's also something about Monarch apparently having all the miraculouses but who cares amirite

See what I mean? There's no structure, no actually overcoming problems, it's just random shit happening without any connection to the previous random shit. The characters don't develop in a meaningful way. Mari's only life goal is making one cohesive sentence in front of Adrien and he's kind of just there. I mean he could maybe feel inspired by Marinette's passion for arts and crafts and try out some stuff or he could continue to have no direction in life. Yes, as a teen it's hard knowing what you want to do later in life, but Adrien doesn't even really have actual hobbies he can define himself through. The writers fail not only to develop the relationship as a whole but also the characters involved as people. They could as easily be a situationship where they meed every two days to make out and it wouldn't change anyting. It's just fan service here and there combined with shallow and forgettable dialogue (I think, there wasn't a conversation that stick with me at least) and idk this maybe works as a first love that maybe lasts for a year before they have a dramatic break up and then move on with their lives, But the show tries to sell this idea that the square will actually stay together forever (or have a constant toxic on-off thing bc that's the vibe I'm getting. Plus Bunnyx sort of implied that).

[gigglesandfreckles-hp]

Hello hello! Ok it’s nighttime and I finally have a minute to gush over Right Timing properly so here I am. First of all I didn’t wait AT ALL to read it I snuck glances at the chapter while driving to work (never have I been this grateful for traffic) but I had to stop when they met outside the bathroom because I just couldn’t stop smiling like a loon. Then I reread the whole thing at lunch and again now that I’m home in bed so I feel properly ready to discuss it.

If you asked me before I couldn’t quiteee put my finger on what I loved so much about this fic in particular. You said yourself there’s a million amazing angsty-James-and-lily-pining-hard-before-they-get-together-but-don’t-admit-it fics- and like ten of them are yours. (another fav of mine is the jilytober one that ends with James going to ‘change the circumstances’ I’ve reread that ten billion times the fact he makes lily wait in the passageway as if her leaving would break this moment is peak James and I’m obsessed). But this one just hits different and when the first chapter came out it literally left a void in me that I NEEDED more of them and I had no clue why. Now I realise that what I love about it is that the whole story sits on a crossroads. Both of them are so into each other, they are both talking about it, but it’s like they’re soliloquising - WE can hear the obvious truth but they seem to be passing each other by. Lily talks about her dream guy, describes James, he has no clue. James talks about how the timing seems to finally align with the girl he likes (and literally nearly kisses Lily when he does it) but lily doesn’t know it’s her. And on top of that, they’re both hanging on the precipice of romantic decisions: James with Emmeline and lily (though shes said no) with Bertram. The whole scene can either go one way or the complete other and where it ends we have no clue. And it’s so beautifully written that their mutual yearning, their bittersweet efforts to make the other happy, seem so genuine. I wholeheartedly believe that this James and Lily love each other so much, are so besotted with each other that they simply can’t bring themselves fully to say it. Everything is so up in the air and yet so close to perfect that reading it makes me frustrated in the best possible way.

And now with this new scene, it all just perfectly falls into place. There’s just enough prelude to the confession that the longing between them is evident and then James comes up to Lily and the whole story shifts. And as a reader you realise that what may have previously felt just out of reach for these two was absolutely inevitable. Lily is James’ dream girl, he is the love of her life. It’s so damn obvious that it was gonna fall into place. It was ALWAYS gonna end up like this and for, it makes the bullshit from the first chapter feel so much dumber but also so much more necessary, because how can two teens ever ever risk something so important on a late night chat when one’s just been asked out and there’s even a flicker of doubt about the others’ feelings? It’s too big a jump for the most important relationship in their lives.

And then James (of course) has enough of waiting and takes the risk. I wonder if Sirius spoke to him in between scenes but I like to think he doesn’t need to. James just sees the pieces fall into place, sees what he’s wanted for years and says fuck it and acts. And Lily, who is usually incredibly brave, who has been in plenty of uncomfortable situations, who has lost so many of those closest to her to standing up for what’s important to her, all of a sudden can’t do that. All of a sudden is a complete coward, is in complete denial, is letting the crutch of her stubbornness hold her up against what’s right in front of her. Because this is more important than anything else, and she can’t risk it or lose it the way she’s lost other things, other people. And she needs James to say it, needs him to fully take the leap. And he does, shy and earnest and a little scared even if a part of him knows she’ll jump with him, and she does too.

Like that scene is so quintessential Jily. It’s so rare for me to feel the characters jump off the page like that, esp in short fics like this because there’s just not the space to make them three dimensional, but abi honestly you did it so so well. Watching them progress it all just made sense, like yes they are dumb and stupid and young but it HAD to happen that way goddamit, it just did. Like they made it so hard for themselves but that’s what it fucking took and it WORKS.

Not to mention the last bit was so hot like James pulled the moves out in this one. If that’s what we’re in for in your m rated summer fic then honestly SIGN ME UPPPP. When he said “I think you want me to touch you” I nearly dropped my phone like I was in so much shock?? Like last chapter u can’t even tell her u like her directly now ur here being SMOOTH about it?? Best line hands downs

Other favs include

Lily reflecting on how her older self would look back at this as a low point (and then fully preparing herself to go back and continue to put herself through it - very typical 17 year old girl behaviour)

Lily liking frozen butterbeer like yes this is my fellow iced latte all year round girl

James telling emmeline let’s go as friends and then sitting her with the girl he actually fancies?? Like the poor girl but honestly it made me laugh a little bit he’s so STUPID

Bertram saying “I thought I lost you” when he saw her talking to James like everyone else is INCREDIBLY aware of their feelings for each other huh

James knowing lilys butterbeer order and getting pissed she’s buying her own drinks on a date. Yes James, what WOULD you do if you took Lily out? Maybe you should ask her so we can all find out hm?

The subtle eye contact and banter between J/L like they’re so in sync

James being obviously jealous and Lily getting mad and yet STILL not putting the pieces together.

And from chapter one: you saying Sirius was sharp as a dog I giggled

Actually your entire Sirius characterisation is incredible I’m in love w how you write him but here esp he’s such an ass and I love it

Also from ch 1 James freezing his parchment so Lily can sleep on his lap like u ain’t slick sir?? Honestly the only thing stopping Lily from realising how (ahem) into her he was at that moment was the pillow in his lap

Last but not least have to mention I’m obsessed with the part where they’re talking ABOUT TO KISS and lily still doesn’t think he likes her and James STILL CANT ASK HER OUT I love my idiots in love but god I wanted to bang their heads together and also sit and stare in awe and appreciate the moment so much like UGH it was so PERFECT.

Right so I have to stop this has gotten insanely long I’m so so sorry. Abi I can’t say thank you enough for this it honestly made my day. I know you said it’s a couple weeks late but the universe has perfect timing bc honestly I needed this today especially and I’m so so grateful. Have a wonderful day Miss freckles we love youuu xxx

anon! i have no words! (except of course i do because i’ve got a phd in yapping)

play-by-play comments are the best! and…are you in my brain? like actually? because yes!!!! you get it! sometimes when i make jily do something especially stupid, i get self-conscious because i’m like ‘okay no one’s actually that blind’ and i worry that their mutual pining is too exaggerated. but then i remember what it was like to be 17 and in love and constantly wondering if i was reading too much into the boy’s actions or if i was just imagining things i wanted to see and then that little thread of worry would be paralysing! because putting yourself out there at any age is scary. doing it at 17? near impossible. everything has to align juuuuuuust so, which means there are lots of stupid moments leading up to that aligning moment.

i don’t see james as a particularly smooth person, because he’s such a dweeeeb. but i think he has his shining moments of being Hot On Purpose. and i think Lily is perhaps an unreliable narrator in that regard too. so his bathroom bravery could have fallen on the side of cringeeee, but because it’s him and because it’s lily. she eats it up. and we, as readers (hopefully), get to do the same!! and in regard to my m-rated cruel summer fic… “i think you want me to touch you” james is certainly present. 😏🙂‍↕️ (i plan to post the first chapter in the next week!)

truly, thank you for the thoughtfulness of typing all this out and sharing it with me!!! i’m happy you encouraged me to revisit this story and happy you enjoyed it!

💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓

[gifti3]

Arranged marriage au with asmo

I need asmo to be in some type of royal otome slowburn manhwa

ramblings ramblings

the drama guys....the DRAMA! dont tell me a bunch of nonsense wouldnt happen

remember the post where i was like indifferent/passive aggressive asmo becoming curious about the MC fics are peak

similar thing is happening here! honestly i think theres some resentment coming from asmos side at first but mc is like ay....you do ur thing and i do mine

im not gonna make u do anything u dont want, i dont have any expectations from this arrangement. lets just try not to make each of our lives hell u know

lol i bet when asmo first meets MC after finding out that hes supposed to marry them he's like thinking "......ig theyre not that bad looking"😒 (he literally would have been flirting with them in any other circumstance)

hmmm mc needs to be apart of a pretty influential family i think since this is gonna be a political type marriage

and asmo,,,,i feel like he doesnt really engage in the specifics when it comes to politics or anything. it's just not something thats important to him. he has his side hobbies and business endeavors that cares about. But topics outside of those things are left up to his family

so perhaps one day, the head of the family (i wanna say lucifer but since i want the person in this role to give off more a mysterious vibe, where his word is final michael might be a better choice) is like... this specific family...theyre kinda important and we want them on our side so get married to their eldest who has rejected every other person ever but has agreed to marry and since u dont do much when it comes to political affairs im gonna have you do this whether you want to or not

and asmo is just like....HUH he tries to get lucifer to help him out here but lucifers like...yea dads not budging sorry lil bro (he doesnt say it like that but similar sentiment lmao)

now mc never really wanted to get married cause they didnt wanna have to go through the motions against their will and they like their life as is but their parents have been breathing down their neck about marriage for years now. And now that this BIG opportunity has present itself to their parents, it feels like the pressure is really on now! at first mc is like shit...idk if i can weasel my way outta this one

and then......they realized that maybe this could probably work out in their favor actually.....

mc agreed to married him cause asmo has a bit of a reputation as a partier and a playboy

with asmo they feel like things can stay as they are for the most part if they let him continue to do as he pleases (not like they could have stopped him if they wanted to lol)

everything can be the same, they can still live their own separate lives, just now they have the title of spouses!

and thats the plan, like i said before asmo comes in being a bit rude at first but it kinda changes to indifference and a little passive aggressiveness once MC is like...yo chill im not gonna shit on ur parade. i just wanna be left to my own things. you do you sir

yes thats the plan...thats supposed to be the plan and it was going as mc expected for a good while

but as we know if u put something or someone in front of asmo enough times hes gonna get curious

[archivalofsins]

So, I'm filling out my mail in ballot and like... Lately I've been getting hit with the cultural differences between myself and others.

So, I'd like to talk about how that may impact how I view Milgram.

It's no secret that I'm African American. Yet, there's a great deal of people that will have assumptions on what that means, how it looks, what I must be into outside of Milgram etc. These things as we've come to know quite well through Milgram, are biases.

As we've discussed before biases aren't inherently bad. Biases in and off themselves are ideas we pick up about society based on our personal experiences. They're like a quick cheat sheet that no one can help but make in their head.

For example- Since I said I was African American. One could assume things about my,

Skin tone

Education

Social Status

Simply based on that knowledge alone. One could assume that I'm dark skinned. An assumption that a good deal of people make when that term is used despite the various skin tones throughout the African American community.

If I were to then respond to that assumption with,

"Actually I'm light skinned." (This is a fact and a example.)

Another assumption would come into play.

"Oh what are you mixed with?"

This would lead to two answers. Nothing, literally everyone in my family is black. Or, "Wow; can you take an educated guess? I did just say I'm African American is there any historical context you could possibly gleam without asking me why my skin tone is what it is. Anything, is there anything coming to mind that may explain? Might rhyme with armory. Might involve a word that sounds like shave?"

Nope damn...the answers still nothing just African American or well if we discuss the history of slavery real quick we get this very complicated non-answer of too many things to count. Including white and Native American. Yet if you ask my dad what they put on his papers when he fought in the war they put negro. Because those other two things matter relatively less than the whole black thing.

So, most of my family history is black and I was raised in the black community. Didn't really stop me from getting that question a lot growing up. Mostly from people within said community. These are the sort of biases I believe are pretty common in most cultures. People will judge others based on how they look and assume things about their background.

This is highlighted in Milgram through Mu. It's brought up multiple times that Mu has been othered because of how she looks. Because she does not look typically Japanese, she looks foreign. She has honey-blonde hair and light grey eyes.

She mentions in a minigram that she doesn't like how rain makes her hair stick up.

People headcanoning Mu's victim as half black when France has the highest black population out of Europe wild.

X X

Hmmm, wonder why that headcanon hasn't been put on her ahn who knows.

Basically, noting that humidity and water makes her hair frizzy. Probably playing a bit into the reason she doesn't portray herself as being soaked in After Pain. Because she finds this aspect of herself to be embarrassing.

This also could subtly imply that she may straighten or style her hair. Outside of that Milgram highlights how different she looks before the series even starts properly. Noting it in her character description on the website.

A beautiful prisoner with overt features that set her apart from other Japanese people. Despite her slender frame, she’s very candid, and the type to rebel against the abnormal circumstances Milgram has presented her. Due to her nature, she will be very wary of Es at first. The way she conducts herself gives a sense of her upbringing. Leading us to speculate that she was probably born into a wealthy family. Perhaps, being born into wealth is why she has such a sense of pride, bursts into tears when clashing with others, and is prone to whining.

My sorry spells must be wearing off./I am always the drama queen.

x

Why won’t you stop hurting me? My heart is all dried up. My sorry spells must be wearing off. But I guess some of it is my fault./ It’s not my fault. I told you I’m queen, and it will never be changed. I’ve got EVERYTHING, everything is as I wish.

And even having it called to attention in the portal timeline.

20/05/31 Mu: Hey, Mikoto-kun, aren’t you scared of this place……? You can’t think of any reason you ended up here, right……? Mikoto: Ahh, yeah. Of course, it’s not like I’m not scared at all. But just between you and me…… I still haven’t dropped the thought that this could all just be a TV show. I mean, I really haven’t ever murdered anyone. ……and if that is the case, we’re definitely being monitored. For like a prank setup or something. Wouldn’t it be super uncool and embarrassing to get angry or lash and have it shown on prime time? Mu: Is that what you think……? A prank, huh…… I hope that’s all it is…… Mikoto: Ah! If that is the case, then you’ll probably be super popular since you’re so cute, Mucchan! There’s a lot of girls out there who make their big break coming off reality shows like that!

Like the fact that Milgram lays all of this out from the beginning along with the way it follows through on it is really good. Because it isn't just building as it goes or adding pockets of tidbits of character information on as the trials progress. It's all been there and still is there rewarding people for going back and looking, if they feel like it.

Through bringing to the forefront how different Mu is from those around her Milgram subtly highlights another form of discrimination in Japan. Racism.

Then it does this really interesting thing when it comes to her core friend group in particular.

Milgram makes a point of having all of Mu's close friends be individuals who for one reason or another would not be considered to look stereotypically Japanese. Milgram manages to do this without even giving Mu's friends faces.

Even highlighting in their insect forms through giving them different hair colors from the rest.

Just like Mu herself.

Q.11 Who do you want to see right now? Mu: I miss my friends too but most of all, Papa and Mama.

In her second voice drama Mu says,

...Warden-san. I think you're really doing something bad. Isn't it a bad thing to act like there has to be something wrong with someone for them to get bullied? Oh? No matter the circumstances, it's always the bullies who are in the wrong! Isn't that obvious? Warden-san you're so smart but you didn't even know something like that? maybe you should take some lessons on morals or something. ... Besides even if I've done something wrong, there's nothing that can justify bullying. Warden-san I thought you were nicer than this.

Not one thing that can justify it not even others doing something wrong. Meanwhile Mu's first trial character voice line,

It's your fault....for doing horrible things to me...

Mu goes on to say this in response to Es asking why does she think she was bullied after that,

"How would I know? I mean I'm from a rich family, and I'm an eye-catcher too... It was probably out of some kind of envy or prejudice, right?"

Plus, Mu's stance on bullying quickly changes when it's brought to her attention that Es believes she may have been a bully before she bullied. As she states,

"Leaving behind all that stuff you said about me possibly having been a bully myself- not that any of that's true of course!"

Sorry it was an easy shot.

Can you believe she said this right before this mv came out? Wild. Prisoners stay lying in their voice dramas. Never incriminate yourselves, always lie to authority figures. Double down on the lies if you need to. No one owes honesty to individuals or systems putting them in terrible predicaments.

Lie like you and honesty had a falling out. Lie like being honest betrayed you worse than it did Kazui. Keep lying. Honesty sorry that's a luxury I can't afford right now. I'm in my lying arc trust me at your own expense.

Be Mikoto trial two and gaslight the audience into believing that everything Milgram uncovered was actually a dream trial three. It will work better than you think Mu.

Like naw be more dishonest actually. The realest thing all the prisoners have ever done was just blatantly lie and not back down from said lies. They're all like fucking prove it go on prove it! What do you have mystical songs where I go I did that shit and I'll do it again?! That's not substantial enough evidence.

That could have been an over-exaggeration done to better highlight my artistic vision- Fuck you and your song extractor bring in some actual proof or piss off. This machine was provided by your facility how do you know it's providing accurate unbiased information. The facility had already deemed us guilty of something on incarceration this isn't fair or trustworthy.

Meanwhile if they're innocent what a great and interesting machine you have here.

Sure. So, if I'd gotten payback for how my bullies treated me then that'd count as revenge right? And if you believe that was my only option then don't you have to forgive me? ...Uh...I'm not really sure what you're trying to say? You see~ If you think that me bullying someone back after being bullied is the natural course of action, then wouldn't it be bad to bully me back in return? ... "But if you were like. "I won't forgive you Mu revenge is bad!" Then wouldn't that imply that it's also bad for me to bully someone back after they bullied me?" I think I'm kinda...starting to get your point...maybe. Warden-san are you maybe not all that smart after all?

Since the way Mu talks is rather quick and confusing purposely Es has difficulties understanding what she's saying. Despite the fact that she is just reiterating that since she's already been forgiven it would be best if Es kept to that verdict. Because Es has already set the precedent that killing out of revenge or in response to a slight is forgivable. Changing her verdict now won't change that precedent.

Meaning Mu has every intention to bully someone for bullying her again if necessary because Es has stated that the appropriate response to being picked on is picking on that person back. In a way Mu is saying that's what trial one cemented that treating people who have caused direct harm to your or others is completely okay actually.

So, it's best not to start problems for others others at all. So, if Es wants to change their verdict and pick on Mu now that would be no different than what happened to her.

This isn't even a veiled threat. Because she's just saying since you've realized that bullying is the appropriate response to bullying then you shouldn't pick on me because the obvious response would be me picking on you and you don't want that right? Or,

"If you want to betray from jealousy. I’ve told you what’s gonna happen."

The thing is the way I view Mu's story is subjectively changed based on my experiences as and African-American.

When I view her story I don't see the simple one of bullying. I see a story about prejudice and the othering of mixed and biracial individuals in Japan. How the mistreatment these individuals face when younger can lead to them bullying others later in life.

The fact that kids like that are often exposed to discriminatory treatment from a young age by peers and adults due to their overt physical differences. Something that can lead to a great deal of bitterness and self-loathing. Even internalized othering.

Q.08 Which of the other prisoners is most like you? Mu: I don’t think there’s anyone? They’re all weirdos.

This can be done to make oneself feel less than others or to cope and convince oneself that they are more special than those around them and everyone is just jealous actually. Mu falls into the later category. However, the later category is commonly used in response to discrimination of some sort.

Because it's easier and healthier to respond to others making fun of ones immutable traits such as physical characteristics by going they're just jealous. The other option is attempting to changing how you look entirely which for a lot of people won't work anyway. From that angle it's no suprise that in high school Mu would start doing something that may just have been done to her for much longer by girls who probably resembled those who picked on her a great deal or were people who used to pick on her.

Q.02   What scares you most? Mu: Painful things, scary things. Also embarrassing things. Q.07 What is your favourite place? Mu: Mama’s hometown of Nice. The sea there is beautiful.

As someone who grew up in the states a pretty diverse country. Well Mu saying things like her favorite place is her mothers hometown has a different ring to it. Because in Nice the way Mu looks wouldn't be considered odd or draw attention. Whereas in the place she grew up she can easily tell that the way she looks gets her both positive and negative attention.

I've said this before and I'll say it again the fact that Mu stands out due to her mixed ethnicity is just as a part of her story as being a bully is. The fact that she surrounds herself with people who are similar to her (seemingly mixed as well).

Well it really puts this spin on her story. Not just making it as simple as bullying it but turning it into this story of long term accepted bullying and what that cycle can lead to. If Mu was bullied and treated as different because of her looks and families wealth at a young age. Then she gets into this high school with other people with those experiences. It wouldn't be farfetched for her to want to use the opportunity to get revenge on the people who treated her poorly before and take advantage of the system that allowed it.

In order to lessen the impact of the idea of her being a bully which she denies as ever being true she states it would be fine for her to be one under Milgram's logic if it was in response to being bullied in the first place. That it's fine as long as it's revenge. A mindset many victims of bullying who become bullies later have. That it's fine to do because no one said it was wrong when it was happening to them. It's okay if they do it because if they do then it can't happen to them.

This especially puts an interesting spin on her first cover song and trial song.

Especially these lines,

Otome Dissection

There's been a lot of analysis of this song for a long while. For now, I want to analyze it from the angle of the singer dissecting themselves. An angle that the song has been taken from before. Given the visuals in the mv near the end.

The more overt ones.

Along with when the signer is shown pretending to call someone and closing their own body bag.

All after the line "Let's see if our climax had been a let down. Ever since that night."

Now if we phrase Otome Dissection as the singer singing to themselves that would make it more interesting in the context of Mu's case and the way it can relate to ethnicity. Because I think Otome Disssection manages to perfectly encapsulate the feeling of self-loathing, dejection, and hopelessness that being a minority can make a person.

The song highlighting how the singer has found something that makes them feel good as long as it hurts. Something that's validating and invalidating all at once. A way a lot of people feel about exploring or expressing their culture/ethnicity in a place where it's marginalized or stereotyped in some way. The feeling can be just as isolating as it is liberating simply because at times even when people want to do this there's not much community around them locally.

Plus, taking an interest in it won't make discrimination stop. At the end of the day people are still going to put you on a pedestal or hate you because of how you look. Though it can still be fulfilling. Also highlighting how one will dissect themselves, cutting themselves down to be more acceptable in an environment that didn't want to accept them to begin with. Again, going back to how it only feels good when it hurts.

They only get acceptances when they're burying parts of themselves. Yet, still desiring to be loved for everything they are the good and the bad and trying to convince themselves that they love who they are despite everything around them making it feel as though it'd be better,

If I had just disappeared.

All that self-loathing and disdain turns into boisterous self-confidence. Because it's feels like the only way that person can survive. Yet they still need this constant outwards validation because they don't know if they're allowed to be here. Even though they feel like they should be it doesn't feel like they are.

I want to feel “alive”, is it ok if I breathe? Tell me./I wanna feel shame, ever since the night when I realized it's good as long as it hurts.

Yet no amount of validation is enough because the person can't validate themselves. They're always going to be afraid of being found out then hated or the other person finding someone else.

Hey, what if If I am a bad girl- Don’t hate me./I actually had a dream you fell in love with someone else. Please tell me it's not true. Come on love me please?

A problem many people who have faced racial discrimination in their environments have is believing that others can like them. Because sometimes from birth all those people are given are reasons why others wouldn't. A list of things that make them odd or different from their peers. So, it's easy to understand why it would be difficult to believe.

After Pain

"I don’t want tomorrow to come. I want to forget yesterday I was miserable, someone please help me."

"If it’s endurance, I’m used to it. It’s just having another taste of it."

When it comes to Futa we see him become the victim of what he dished out after in Bring It On. Lamenting if both sides are losers in Backdraft. Yet, Mu tries her best to hide all the things that hurt and embarrass her. The source of her pain.

Because she doesn't want people to look at it. She doesn't want to replay it. Just like her second cover song further highlights along with her second trial mv.

She even states in the second written interrogation,

Q.01 What were you like as a child? Mu: I think I was pretty normal. I had a lot of friends, and learned a lot.

Yet she also states that she gets walked up to by modelling scouts on the streets because of her looks.

Q.15 What’s your dream for the future? Mu: A model, maybe. I’ve been turning down scouts while I’m still in high school though.

Definitely sounds easy to have a normal childhood with stuff like that occurring.

It's easy to write off Mu as not going through that much and just being a spoiled brat and a bully. However, I feel like that would be ignoring some very compelling parts of her character. Plus, she's not the only prisoners for Milgram to allude to dealing with forms of discrimination.

Plus, it is kind of strange that she would jump from having her friends bully people for her to murder. Like that isn't a very natural progression. Now she could be lying about not doing any of that stuff herself like dumping water on people or beating them up. However the only time we see her actually harassing a student is when they appear to be shaking them down and none of that stuff is occurring.

Then she's only alluded to being around in After Pain after her friends do that stuff. So, I genuinely doubt she was being dishonest about that. None of these feelings on Mu I stated here are new. I always appreciated how her story subtly deals with the ethnicity. I like how it shows a victim of bullying become a bully.

I like that it highlights how cycles of harassment begin. I love how Mu's first inclination is to frame herself as a victim of bullying in this situation because on some level she really thinks this is revenge for all the mean things others may have done to her. I also like that she's unapologetic about it. Plus my own complicated relationship with stuff like that makes me sympathetic to her a bit.

Even still it's Mu we're talking about she's not one to be knocked down and stay down. That's simply just another aspect to look at her under and it's one of the ones I find the most interesting given how I grew up.

I feel like that may just be one of the many things that may go overlooked based on how one grew up. Even though Milgram highlights it in a lot of ways.

Another one that may go over some's head is poverty in general given the cases of Amane and Mikoto. Like people not really understanding why he's so focused on his job or why Amane's family lives where they live etc. It's just interesting how Milgram tries to represent varying demographics. Like there's a plethora of other examples but I've gone over them before.

At least I find it interesting.

[dukeofdelirium]

What do u think of the theory mj couldve been autistic? Ive heard it would explain his want to experience his childhood and other behavior like his soft spoken voice.

I don’t think we should be attempting to armchair diagnose a dead man with anything. Michael was a very abused individual… he continuously said this was part of the reason he enjoyed more simple, “childish” things as an adult. He wasn’t just an abused person, he was also the main attraction when it came to the musical family of the Jackson’s. As such, he faced things his siblings did not and it affected him more than them.

Michael had a soft voice because that’s just how he was. I don’t see how autism would give someone a soft voice, and this is coming from a man who is neurodivergent himself. And Michael could speak lower than that, btw. A lot of ppl assume he spoke very gently (aside from it just being his personality) to protect his vocal chords, and while there isn’t proof one way or another, this would at least make sense.

Michael was a genius in many ways, and was obviously a very intelligent man. He was born with gifts that seem almost impossible for someone to have all at once. He was in every way, a prodigy.

We can’t sit and try to differentiate Michael’s behavior when he isn’t even alive, let alone the fact that he rarely gave interviews to begin with. He did not enjoy the press, or speaking much to the public. There’s also the fact that Michael was unlike any other human that’s ever lived… his life was extraordinary. So how can we say for sure, when his behavior could also have very easily been due to the highly unusual circumstances of his life?

MJ loved having simple innocent fun. He liked playing games, liked having water balloon fights, liked pulling innocent pranks, etc. I don’t find this to be proof of autism nor do I find it unusual for so many reasons.

1) He was famous as a 5 year old. And he never got a break from that fame. He became the most famous human that has ever walked the earth. He simply never had the opportunity to be normal, to be a child, to have fun in that way.

2) He was very badly abused throughout his life. His father beat him, he was teased constantly to the point he wouldn’t look in mirrors, he was being shown actual pornography on TV during interviews when he was 12 years old…. He was performing in strip clubs, prostitutes and such would make sexual passes at him, many women took advantage of him and Madonna herself sexually harassed and abused him on more than one occasion. Michael was deathly afraid of his father to the point he was literally vomiting whenever his dad would visit him… he was well into his 20’s at the time. He also would be in the room or sitting right outside the door when his older brothers would be hooking up with girls, so he was again being exposed to very mature things far too young. This isn’t getting into the abuse he suffered at the hands of the media and public.

Now tell me… if that were you, do you think you would be “normal” to the public afterwards?

3) He was constantly having to work his ass off. He never got breaks from dealing with complicated things like business deals, tour, rehearsals etc.

So having silly fun for him was relieving in a lot of ways. Michael also cared so much for children and was a very strong advocate against child abuse. Which is a huge reason he was constantly around children and doing things for children. Michael was raised to do charity work like that. He was a devout JW for a lot of his life, and believed very strongly in the Bible verse: “whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest among me in the kingdom of Heaven.”

I don’t think it matters why Michael was the way he was. At the end of the day, he was an incredible person who used his talents to give us art that we can enjoy forever. He saved millions of lives across the world through his humanitarian efforts and he did it all without being asked and without receiving as much as a thank you. And I think we should celebrate that rather than focus on rumors or on creating new ones. He loved children, and all people, and unlike other artists he truly brought the world together and taught us to love and to have hope.

Who cares why? We should be grateful it even existed at all.

[gemini-care-barr]

⚠️ Spoilers for World’s Finest: Teen Titans #5 ⚠️

On the subject of team books and friendships/teams in superhero comics in general…

So, I just read the latest issue (#5) of Mark Waid and Emanuela Lupacchino’s World’s Finest: Teen Titans series and I gotta say it has made me realize what I’ve been missing for a while in comics:

I. need. more. STRIFE!!!

I need more characters fighting and tearing into each other in the meanest ways! And NOT because they hate each other or are on opposite ends of the good/evil spectrum, but because people fight! They disagree! They get frustrated and they take it out on the people around them! And then when the pain of changing FINALLY becomes outweighed by the pain of staying the same: people GROW. They become better. They see how the ways that they were acting and the things they were thinking were tearing them apart and they come together against and despite that strife. And no, that doesn’t make things perfect, there will (and should) still be inner conflict and butting of heads, but that only guarantees more change and more growth because no one is constant and no one should be. The only constants are change, and, with a good team, each other.

And by God, this issue, and this series really, has shown that perfectly. Over the past few issues, we’ve seen the perfect dynamics of the team getting ever so slowly chipped away. Starting with Roy very understandably getting mad at Dick for not sharing his secret identity with the team which was promptly “fixed” in a way that we all knew wouldn’t last. Then we’ve seen Garth and Donna’s relationship on the rocks almost from the get-go because unfortunately shared circumstances just isn’t always enough for two people to base an entire relationship on when their similarities and compatibility basically stop there. We also have Karen bringing in a new guy and not really having too many close relationships with the already established team. And finally, we have Roy’s personal struggles with his father figure being aired out and almost ridiculed by the other kids who just don’t know how to help him. Oh, and of course we also have Wally who comes from an almost perfect superhero sidekick background (special thanks to my guy, Barry Allen, no doubt 😜) which unfortunately makes him a little too loving and lighthearted in the eyes of some of the team and is also seemingly pretty unequipped for dealing with their levels of dysfunction (can we really blame him? No, we can’t, and we really shouldn’t, he’s literally the most functional member of the team outside of maybe some of his judgement of Roy). And all these problems have (inevitably) finally resulted in a lot of in-fighting. In-fighting that has now utterly crippled them, but hopefully not for long as the final page shows Dick’s willingness to change when he goes against Bruce’s rules of secrecy and finally reveals his true identity to the team. I’m hoping this means that they’ll set aside their differences and start working as a team again, rallied around their now unmasked-to-them leader, but I have a feeling that waiting so long to finally reveal himself to the team may carry some consequences of its own for Dick.

Regardless, I’m excited to see some more deliciously grounded, well-written, and much-needed personal conflict in comics again. Not to artificially further a plot or build fluff drama, but to evolve characters and relationships alike.

[miasmaghoul]

HELLOOOO

okay so

I have an unusual question

I recently discovered my passion for writing, I've been inspired by a friend of mine and a bunch of blogs here on tumblr (including yours <3)

and now I'm trying to write smut for the first time and I feel like... embarrassed about it (?)

sooo, feel free to ignore but I wanted to ask: do you have any smut-writing-tip for rookies like me?

(forgive my poor english, pls)

First off, CONGRATULATIONS ON FINDING A NEW PASSION!!! That's a fantastic feeling. ♡

I know just what you mean about feeling wiggly about writing smut. I don't know a single writer who DIDN'T have this experience when they first wrote filth! There is a shockingly vast distance between having filthy ideas and actually typing them out. I assure you that this is perfectly normal!

Before I give my advice, please let me say that I am in no way a professional writer, so your mileage may vary here. This is what worked for my hypersexual ND brain back when I first started doing this at the tender age of [REDACTED]

My advice is this: start simple. (18+ under the cut)

Don't try to go all in during your first smut adventure - not everything needs to be an intense, intricate bondage scene featuring medieval torture equipment and a mustachioed man called Hamish. Choose something uncomplicated and more natural for your first time out - a max of two people, a simple act (i.e., a handjob) or acts (i.e., making out and mutual masturbation) and an easy to describe setting.

Next, don't worry about making it good in your first draft. Use that time to lay out the scene (x crawls into bed and y joins them, spooning up against their back) and setting up the bare bones of the events (y kisses x's shoulder and neck, reaches between their legs, uses their hand to get x off). Once you've done that, you can start describing things.

It's probably gonna one of two ways - clinical or over the top.

Clinical generally means that you're too literal and precise with your descriptions. For example:

Rain reached down and took Dew's cock in his hand. He stroked it from base to tip, over and over. He sped up once Dew started moaning and felt his own cock hardening as well. He worked Dew's cock until Dew came all over his hand and then grabbed his own cock to do the same.

See? Clinical. It gets the job done in terms of relaying information, but there's no emotion behind the words. No sound, no movement, no life. Things that I, personally, believe a sex scene needs in order to feel believable and real.

The opposite of this is the over the top sex scene. Think of this like watching really bad porn. The kind where people moan like they're about to cum when someone touches their arm, y'know what I mean? Tons of moaning and writhing and too much response to the slightest stimulation. Don't get me wrong, there's certainly a time and place for Dew jizzing himself over Rain licking his neck, but if your whole scene is set up like that it, I personally believe it becomes Too Much.

Ideally, I think, you want to strike a balance between these two things. You want to explain what's happening, but use language and descriptors that are more intimate and sensual. Which brings me to my third point - try to figure out the words and phrasing you're comfortable using before you really get into writing anything. If you don't like the way the words feel, don't use them! That alone can help make things easier to write. (As an example, outside of very specific circumstances, I hate using the word "pussy" and will avoid writing it!)

Perhaps my biggest tip is being very confident in your characters before you make 'em fuck. In my opinion. A bad/boring sex scene is one where the characters feel interchangeable. Think of it like this: a scene with Aether giving Swiss a blowjob should not be able to be read as a scene with Rain giving Dew a blowjob instead. It should feel unique, however you choose to make that happen.

Last bit of advice is probably the most obvious one: practice. Practice practice practice. Something sounds hot in your head? Write that shit down. Stick it in your notes app, even if it's just a few words. Practice by putting little scenes together in your head and then transcribing what's happening in them. Watch something erotic and think about how you would write that scene. Think of it like exposure therapy - the more you create smut, the less ashamed you'll be about it!

I will say it also helps to have a smut writer/enjoyer friend (or friends!) to bounce ideas off of, or to ask for advice. If you're planning to be active in the Ghost fandom, I can tell you that every single writer and artist I've interacted with here has been incredibly kind and welcoming. Don't be afraid to reach out!

This got so long lmao SORRYYYY

[koraesrambles]

Reasons I'm enjoying gotham war: a thought exercise.

I wanted to do a deeper analysis but am sitting in a restaurant waiting for my family to get here so might as well dive into it and I can do a more scholarly deep dive later.

I want to talk about Gotham Wars, why I'm liking it, what I think about it, and what I think they're doing well. I'm new to comics (tell me, at what point does your brain start to explode when you try to read the entire DC batfam canon in 2 months. Asking for a friend) but I'm not new to storytelling, so here we go!

K, so im a huge angst fan. It's a disease, not everyone is here for the angst but I most certainly am. The batfamily is so incredibly messed up, which is just right up my alley. I love WFA but let's be real, if they're not crying I'm not as invested. So this run where they are absolutely beating the shit out of my favorite character (Jason Todd)? Mwah. Beautiful. 10/10 will read 100 times.

I read stories for the connections between the characters, not so much the plot. Which is a personal preference thing. So the obvious plot holes and issues with the various characters points of view just don't really bother me. I can suspend my disbelief to think that heroes are running around in spandex beating people up, I can suspend it to think catwoman training an army of thieves to eat (I mean steal from) the rich is a viable idea. I don't care about the logistics, I care about how those things effect the characters.

And MAN do they effect the characters. Honestly I've loved Selina throughout this run. She could get a post all on her own. I love that she's refused to slander Bruce, I love how protective she is over her kids (step kids? Exs kids?) And I love every single interaction she's had with Jason. Honestly the moment that hit me hardest with her was when she's looking for Jason and thinks that if she loses him Bruce will never forgive her.

Obviously, Jason is a worthwhile human that has value outside of Bruce, but I think it really gives us a glimpse into Selina's mind right now. She loves Jason, she's grateful for his support and cares for him, but at the end of the day, he's the love of her life's baby boy, and it is that identifier that will pop up during times of stress.

I LOVE everything about Jason's involvement with this. I like that the tie ins are showing how he disagrees and the main storyline has him already convinced. I love that it explores both sides of his character, I love how it shows how important he is. And he is SO. IMPORTANT.

Bruce has obviously lost his ever loving mind (rip) and vacillates wildly between thinking his children were a mistake and wanting to protect them from everything. Up to this point, though plenty of the bat kids are sympathetic toward Selina, they aren't actively helping her, except of course for our boy Jason Todd.

Jason is actively working against Bruce (shocking right?) And I LOVE that Jason even tells Bruce that it's not just to spite him (though I'm sure that's a plus) it's because he believes in what Selina is doing. And Bruce cannot handle it.

Like I said before, Jason is Bruce's baby boy. The one he can't lose again. The one he needs to protect. But also he has to stop him from murdering people. And above ALL ELSE he cannot stand to see Jason in cahoots with someone else. Bruce doesn't share well under normal circumstances, let alone when he has totally lost his mind.

This vacillation has a lot of people irritated because they think that Bruce is being written inconsistently. I disagree, I think my man has lost his ever loving mind and he wants to both protect his children and STOP them. Him telling Jason he loves him not once, but TWICE within the span of a few panels while simultaneously ruining his life and leaving him completely defenseless is just... dude. My man. My psycho baby. Stop that.

Jason has always been fiercely independent and now that independence has been stripped from him. He literally can't protect himself. He's going to need to rely on other people to help him and heaven knows he doesn't have a good track record of people helping him out when he needs them.

Luckily, Dick knows about the drugging now and is super pissed off (GOOD!) Cannot wait to see where that goes next.

So tldr: why am I enjoying gotham wars? Mostly because so far everyone is obsessed with Jason Todd, which is highly relatable. Also because these relationships are being torn to shreds and looked at from a very interesting lens. Bruce is gone gone gone. Cannot wait to see his horror when he realizes what he's done.

[messrsbyler]

mike's monologue was built on guilt...

[disclaimer: i know i'm not discovering the wheel here. most of what can be said about byler has already been said by so many people before me so none of this is new. i've personally haven't read a post addressing this but i am sure there must be tons of them i haven't run into yet. all this to say, i wanna give my personal opinion on mike's monologue based on my rewatch of season 4 but in no way i'm pretending to be the first one to have noticed this. okay, that being said...]

mike feels so much guilt during season 4 it's actually sad.

so, we all know one of mike's biggest conflicts is how he understands the love others give to him. for mike, that love is tied to conditions he has to meet in order to keep. to keep it short and simple, we know mike feels the need to be needed in order to be loved, and this specially reflects on his relationship with el since that's how they dynamic started from the very beginning. el had no one and mike took her in. el became dependent on mike and under those circumstances, they became friends and then were nudged into a romantic relationship. then in season three we see how el is growing out of that first dynamic by becoming more independent and getting to know herself outside of mike and hopper and every other male who has had something to say about her life. that independence causes issues in mike and el's relationship because it's a type of dynamic they haven't experienced before and if el who is so cool and powerful, a superhero, doesn't need mike then there's no reason why she would want to stick around at all (remember that tied to mike's misconception of love is also his fear of losing people).

entering season 4, mike finds out el has been lying to him about his life in lenora and i think that's the first bead of guilt that drops on him. after seeing the abuse el suffers in rink-oh-mania, mike understands that el has been needing someone and yet she chose not to come to him. now, this isn't something mike holds against el mostly, but i think it's something that hits him hard in the sense of even when el was needing someone she decided to not seek mike for help.

then, when they have their fight where el confronts him for never saying he loves her anymore, mike still doesn't say it and instead deflects the responsibility to others. then the moment is over, el is taken away and when mike runs after her to say he will fix it and that el just needs to trust him, el doesn't really look at him. she looks defeated and tired.

when el is taken by owens' personnel and mike reads el's letter, that's when the rest of the guilt settles in. we get verbal confirmation of this when mike opens up to will in episode four during their first heart to heart.

mike knows what that thing he should've said was. of course he knows! el spelled it for him and he still didn't say it. so here, we have mike wondering if el would've needed him still, would've wanted him around if he had only said what she was asking of him. if he had, then el wouldn't be alone right now. he would be around to help and keep her safe.

guilt.

here, though, unless you read between the lines, maybe it's not so clear whether mike wanted to say that thing and simply wasn't ready to or not.

the scene in the car graveyard, though, it's pretty damning in my opinion.

what is interesting to me here is that before mike told will "if i had said that thing..." so we know he knows what he should've said. and still, here mike goes "i didn't know what to say."

clearly mike doesn't mean it in the literal sense. again, he knows what el was asking of him, he knows what she needed and wanted to hear, so the way i read this is that even while knowing what she wanted, mike still didn't know what to say because the words he could offer weren't the ones el was asking for. i didn't know what to say as in i didn't know what to say that was truthful and that could help el at the same time, which makes feel mike even more guilty because once more he couldn't be what el needed him to be.

that thought is confirmed with what will says next.

hard to say how you really feel because what if they don't like the truth. and mike nods at these words because he agrees with them.

now, it makes no sense at all if what mike is so scared to say was "i love you" like he said later in the season. it just doesn't. mike agrees to be afraid of expressing how he truly feels in case they (el) doesn't like that truth, but mike knows exactly el wants to hear mike loves her. mike disguises it later as in saying he was scared of losing el and by telling her he loves her he would lose her or something? but he is actively losing her by not saying how he feels! and then, at the pizza place, he still hesitates! he still needs a push to say i love you even when he knows that's what el needs of him and that by not saying it he risked losing el forever. why. does. he. still. hesitate. then.

makes no sense. unless, mike doesn't want to say i love you because he can't because that's not what he feels for el, and that fills him with guilt and with the fear of losing el because he can't be what she needs. so, with the guilt and with the fear of losing el and with will's nudges in the wrong direction, mike monologue happens.

and mike... kinda overdoes it by saying a bunch of things that we know aren't things el needs or wants to hear because she doesn't want to be a superhero anymore, even with her powers back. and mike also starts saying i love you over and over again, after not being able to even write it. that reminds me of this post i once saw of how when you keep repeating a word over and over again, it becomes meaningless and how it even stops sounding like a word. it's just sounds coming out of your mouth. hmmmmm...

anyhow, to end this post i just have to say: mike is dealing with a whole lot of guilt during this season because of his conflictive feelings, the ones he lacks towards his girlfriends and the ones that keep surfacing for his best friend, and when the moment life or death comes, mike (in good old mike fashion) decides to sacrifice his own feelings for the sake of helping and saving el, being what she needs him to be so he doesn't lose her

[terriblyrenderedenigma]

Darth maul be upon ye, the long awaited (probably) Part 2

FINALLY I return to finish my thoughts about the homie maul. Who knows if my writing can all fit, I don't even know the tumblr rules for writing lmao. So this is gonna be like Maul's loving style, and shit like. Mmm. Aat least how I think about it. Enjoy lmao. Part 2 of 2 (I wrote a lot) Warnings: None. (I think)

"I'm frustrated that my words cannot accurately describe your allure, the feeling of power that rolls off you in the same way waves crash against a shore, the way… just the way you live and breathe! It's as if the entire universe was meant to bow at your feet and sing your praises. At the end of time, if no soul takes your side, I will. Know even in your darkest nights and bleakest days that among the stars, there is a heart that beats for you and all you are. No matter what atrocity you claim to be. You told me you were a monster when we first met. Maybe I still need to see it. You still need to show me… Perhaps I'm a fool, letting my heart bleed for you. But even then in the scourge of your wrath, I would be there to wipe the sweat from your brow in the midst of your misdeeds to the galaxy." -Another bit of a letter about homie Maul. Love writing about this bitch.

Okay so Maul is the KING of slow burn. No fuckin doubt about it. Wanna know why? Trust. Trust is the most important thing in a relationship to Maul. He has to trust you, he has to know you aren't selling him out to his enemies. Because maker knows he's probably got a ton of 'em. The Jedi are on his ass, fuckin Palpatine, I mean, you try trusting someone in a galaxy against you huh? It takes him a while to trust you, and then some extra time to warm up on loving you. You probably won't even notice when he starts liking you because at most he'll probably not be so harsh with you. Maybe he'll use less insults, or won't glare so much at you, but he will definitely hide it behind some 'you are the only one who has not tested my ire' type shit. I mean he's so emotionally constipated he probably won't even know what he's feeling when he's around you and will try to beat his feelings out of his system by training or meditating. SO I take a pinch of my previous statement back. I have a feeling this guy is hostile (or at least passive aggressive) to everyone at first no matter what the circumstance. So, Enemies to lovers slow burn king. (which is Ironic because I am not good at slow burn skjhdlskj) When he FINALLY gets over his emotional constipation and gets a brick to the face with realization that he is crushing and crushing HARD, he is going to slowly start courting you. And I'm sorry. I'm sorry but he's a total fucking loser when it comes to romance and it shows. Like his anger may fuel up around you again because he doesn't know how to talk to you, what to talk to you about, or how to get closer to you without seeming weak or you know...anything like that. But like, the efforts he does make are so pathetically obvious and strangely out of character for him (and objectively, it's kind of cute watching him stumble over himself) you can't help but be swayed by his...'seduction tactics.' But YOU. You have to be the one to ask him on a date. Because he's just. He's too prideful okay? Stooping to such LOWS like...Affection. He grows out of that, don't worry. But like when you do ask him he's fucking floored. Almost literally. He has to keep himself calm and not trip over his word's and he's like "okay, let me choose an adequate location for us to be alone so that it doesn't seem like I'm showing any kind of weakness" Or something along those lines. He might accidentally insult you but please be patient he is legit trying his best. Outside of that when you finally have him wifed up (/hj) he is still awkward, new to this but trying his best. Don't expect him to be affectionate anywhere outside of his bedroom until he's comfortable with showing off you or this 'new side' to anyone. It doesn't mean he spends no time with you otherwise, it means his affections will be reserved to hushed whispers and small favors. Perhaps this manifests through seeking you out in the corridors, or providing you with little gifts that would appear meaningless to anybody else. It may take a while for his affections to become grander in the open, but one day it would happen. Unless you tried to force it out of him before he was ready then you're probably gone. He would make a laughing stock out of anyone who claimed affections for another were foolish and made him weak. NO. Hell no. He's soft for you but he can still kick ass. Obviously. I'm sure he would be rather possessive, I just know he would fear losing you. He absolutely uses that as a reason to usually be touching you in some way. Pinky fingers linked, his foot nudging yours, etc. He doesn't want to wake up and find you gone, find that all of this was for naught and dreams and peace really don't exist for him. He would spend as much time as he could learning everything about you. He would be so fucking devoted to you it would make your head spin. He'd know your favorite color, flower, time of day, place to be, things to eat, and he'd keep everything you didn't like away from you. To the best of his ability at least.

Went a little hard with this one, stuffed it full with as many words as I could lol. Hope you enjoyed. Spice may be available later upon request, here's the first part.

Until next time!

Ciao~ -Enigma

[sunshine-dimmed]

eyyyyyyyy ✦

if you're here, there's a chance you're checking me out to see if I'm a potential writing partner for you. sweet! let me lay down some deets;

about me:

33 years old as of December -24, trans dude, he/him.

I'm just a nerdy, metalheady, artsy lil' leftist from Europe. lil AuDHD gremlin whose hyperfixation often goes into adoring ships and fictional characters in every possible way from memes to art to writing. been writing since I was 13, drawing since I could hold a pen. characterized by many as a laid back, wholesome dude. a bit of a black cat with tendencies of turning towards golden retrieverism with close friends. often called "discount Laszlo". some of my fandoms are listed below; even if I don't necessarily have interest in writing a character from the mentioned fandom myself, I'm always open for AUs and crossovers! I love weird shit, come to me with your ideas ✦

as a writer I'm fairly literate and very descriptive (writing samples here). I prefer to write in third person and past-tense. accustomed to prose at a bare minimum of two paragraphs, though I can go on for several more if given the chance. I'm most enthusiastic about character and relationship studies; delving into the deepest depths of a character's inner workings and how they play with their beloved. preferred platform is discord and, more often than not, I hit the discord limit with my replies. activity typically varies from multiple replies / messages a day to every few days depending how my schedule is. life sometimes gets in the way and I'm okay with that, hope you are too!

looking for:

sb 25+ who likes multiple paragraph prose, third person, preferably past tense. I expect fluent grammar, enthusiasm and understanding of your character(s) and threads written over discord in a server of our own. I am forgiving of small mistakes of course (I'm not a native speaker or a lore master myself) but can get a bit nitpicky especially when it comes to lore accuracy! if that's not your thing that's fine, but proper grammar and faithfulness to character is important to me. most of all, I expect good communication, chemistry and understanding both ways; I don't want to be hounded for replies (whether OOC or IC), nor will I do that to you!

not looking to double up as a default; there's definitely a good chance I may play multiple characters and multiple ships with one person, but "scratch my back and I'll scratch yours" type of thinking to start with rarely works for me. I want to be and I want my partner to be enthusiastic about our characters and ships and don't want it to feel transactional; I know I'll simply lose interest if it feels like I'm writing a character as a favor rather than out of genuine itch to do so and that's not fair to either one of us.

what I like:

very often I'm very into rare, odd ships! this includes multiverse and multifandom as well as "well, they never actually met, but if they DID THOUGH..." so if you find a fandom we share, pls don't be afraid to come to me with some outside-the-box ideas!

for the most part, I'm interested in writing MxM and at least almost exclusively against male characters. most often CCxCC, with some exceptions. romance heavy plots with some smut occasionally tossed in. I'm not interested in toxic relationships; I like my ships to struggle, sure, but not because they're bad for each other but because, y'know... life. circumstances. trauma, outside forces, stuff like that making things complicated, but not enough that they're actively suffering because of one another. I like angst in a nice balance with fluff, obstacles that they can perservere through together, love larger than life, love that conquers all, with hopefully a happy ending awaiting them somewhere in the horizon. open to dead dove topics and to kinky stuff, as long as it's discussed first. open to smut as well, as said, though I'm not interested in smut just for smut's sake. I like my sex scenes with plot, y'know?

resources:

☾ OCs by fandom:

 ✦ (full roster)     ✦ (Baldur’s Gate OCs)   

✦ (Dragon Age OCs)     ✦ (Mass Effect OCs)     

☾ CCs by fandom:

 ✦ (often written muses) 

☾ other relevant links:

 ✦ (about and Seeking)     ✦ (DOs and DON'Ts)   

✦ (writing samples)     ✦ (sometimes I draw)

currently most sought:

♥ Astarion Ancunín / Durnehviir Mizzrym

♥ Lucanis Dellamorte / Varokian Mercar

mentionable fandoms:

【ALAN WAKE】 ⇀ 【ALIEN】 ⇀ 【ASSASSIN'S CREED (valhalla, odyssey)】 ⇀ 【BALDUR'S GATE 3】 ⇀ 【BIOSHOCK】 ⇀ 【COMMUNITY】 ⇀ 【CRIMINAL MINDS】 ⇀ 【CYBERPUNK 2077】 ⇀ 【DEAD BY DAYLIGHT】 ⇀ 【DIMENSION 20】 ⇀ 【DUNGEONS AND DRAGONS】 ⇀ 【DRAGON AGE】 ⇀ 【FALLOUT (3, NV, 4)】 ⇀ 【FORGOTTEN REALMS】 ⇀ 【GAME OF THRONES】 ⇀ 【GHOST OF TSUSHIMA】 ⇀ 【IT】 ⇀ 【LIFE IS STRANGE (1, 2, BTS, TC)】 ⇀ 【MARVEL (MCU & 616)】 ⇀ 【MASS EFFECT】 ⇀ 【NIER: AUTOMATA】 ⇀ 【PACIFIC RIM】 ⇀ 【RESIDENT EVIL】 ⇀ 【STRANGER THINGS】 ⇀ 【SQUID GAME】 ⇀ 【STAR WARS】 ⇀ 【THE BOYS】 ⇀ 【THE ELDER SCROLLS】 ⇀ 【THE LAST OF US】 ⇀ 【THE QUARRY】 ⇀ 【THE WALKING DEAD (video game)】

did any of this pique your interest? great! feel free to shoot me a message, and we'll see if we'll click! ➴