#the thing that gets me the most is that it's literally just outside circumstances against them

[booasaur]

Special Ops: Lioness - 1x08

[connabeth]

rick really woke up and said "what if i give the people what they want for once" and gave us grumpy black cat introvert percy and sunshine golden retriever extrovert annabeth we never knew we needed

also no one's talking about how percy made friends with annabeth's college's security guard (Florence or smthn?) so he's the only one allowed to walk in her campus anytime?

also I found a typo in the third chapter where dave was accidentally called paul which I found really funny

1) i’m glad this series is doing justice to annabeth’s personality because she spent so much of pjo & hoo caught in an inner turmoil of hurt and uncertainty and self-loathing and insecurity and fear given the circumstances of luke’s betrayal and percy’s imminent death. in spite of it all, she was still a bastion of hope and light throughout those books, but she deserves to be silly and unburdened by the weight of the world now that she has percy back and there’s no big prophecy (unresolved trauma aside). i think, in her mind, even though new, crazy things keep being thrown at them and she most certainly deals with a latent fear of losing percy at any moment, she’s resolute and confident that they can overcome anything that gets in their way of their dream of going to college and finding peace together because she feels that invigorated and wants it that bad. even if greco-egyptian gods or a triple goddess or a mortal apollo pop up throughout their senior year. i feel like she’s giving herself the freedom to just let go, breathe, be sure everything will be okay in the end, and just be excited about things without drowning in worry for once, which i love. she deserves to feel that childlike enthusiasm she was deprived of for so long. her confidence that they’ll be okay extends to percy being able to complete all his classwork and applications, which in turn reinforces his determination.

2) as for percy, he’s definitely the more outwardly insecure out of the two, mainly because of how his academic prowess pales in comparison to hers and the fact that he feels he doesn’t deserve her and she’s way better than him. percy thinking her SODNYC friends perceive him in the same critical light obviously isn’t helping. it’s evident in the way he’s amazed when he looks at her, disbelieving for a second that she’s his girlfriend, and how he observes her interaction with others more similar to her, feeling like an outsider who can’t understand that part of her brain the way her friends can. it’s even more abundantly clear when he believes “She would always succeed whether I was around or not,” which in theory is a sweet sentiment to have about your very capable girlfriend, but academic and social success aside, she needs him as much as he needs her and she’d see no point in being in california without him. but his insecurities and easy jealousy prevent him from fully understanding this even if he innately knows it’s a universal truth that they’re meant to be together. however, all this being said, percy’s characterization in wottg so far is a little…weird. in order for you to literally pee your pants, something must scare you or catch you off guard really, really bad. so while it makes sense for him to fear a powerful goddess, wetting his boxers seems like an extreme reaction. i know rick was probably just trying to insert immature humor, but the implications are not what he was going for considering this is the boy who didn’t have that reaction staring down titans and giants and nyx and tartarus himself. so forgive me if i think it’s a little insane that percy having such a visceral reaction to a goddess 13 year old hazel fared well against is out of character, even after taking into consideration his fear of not receiving and completing the remaining quests on time. it makes sense for him to be nervous and on edge, given the quiet of the past month, but that amount of fear towards a deity who’s not the most scary thing he’s faced down is an interesting choice since rick isn’t known for realistic depictions of PTSD and that likely isn’t the intention here. it’s also curious how it’s implied even a goddess as primordial as aphrodite caves in to hecate…

3) florence is the goat and i love percy making random friends to help his cause. he doesn’t go out of his way to befriend others in the mortal world unless they approach him first or there’s an opportunity there. and the fact that annabeth can a casually ask her friend to cover for her being gone from her dorm for several days makes me think this is far from the first time she’s snuck out for prolonged periods of time👀

4) this is an INSANE typo to have in a book because clearly not a single person proofread it and it doesn’t surprise me that it got past rick, but becky and several rounds of editors and everyone else in his circle who’s read the book not picking up on it prior to publication is wild. rick is too eager to have his self-insert be everywhere and it shows💀

[cilil]

Headcanons, re: Melkor's and Manwë's origins and relation

So when it comes to Melkor and Manwë I find myself in a bit of a "headcanon dilemma". On one hand, I really like the idea of them being twins, but on the other hand, a lot of stuff that I personally hc regarding their interpersonal dynamic and conflict rests on the basic assumption that Melkor is older than Manwë - not too much, as in not on the same level as I hc for the Fëanturi (with Námo practically raising Irmo), but a noticeable, significant amount. Enough for Melkor to have spent some time alone with Eru, let's say.

(Side note: I am aware of that one line stating they were coeval. What I'm going to say next will address how I'm trying to solve that conflict and afterwards I'll cycle back to it to explain why I felt like deviating from it/not taking it as literally.)

I've been rotating this back and forth in my head for a while, trying to figure out how I can fit these two ideas together, and what occurred to me now are two things:

The Timeless Halls. Timeless. Time doesn't exist as we know it there ("Then those of the Ainur who desired it arose and entered into the World at the beginning of Time" - Valaquenta)

Ainur are made from Eru's thoughts ("and Eru made first the Ainur, the Holy Ones, that were the offspring of his thought" - Ainulindalë)

With this in mind, as well as the fact that Ainur are spirit beings in general and exist outside of most "biological realities" (for lack of a better term) that inform the relations and interactions between incarnate beings, I think that Ainur twins don't have to be the same age. While coeval is defined as "of the same or equal age, antiquity, or duration" (source: Merriam-Webster), therefore having a clear temporal dimension to it, I would say that, under the above mentioned circumstances, such a notion would be more vague, have less clear boundaries.

(Personally, I see all of the Aratar as more or less "coeval", with the non-Arata Valar being a sort of "second generation" or "later additions" if you will, and the Maiar being made some time after them. My headcanon is that Eru had no plans to raise every single Ainu individually and only did so for the oldest Aratar, later relying on them and subsequently the other Valar and older generation of Maiar to raise and teach the young Ainur (and yes, parentification is a thing and yes, in real life it's a problem).)

Now cycling back to my original "issue" with the coeval line (not really, but just the reason why I wanted to read it a little differently), I felt like it was a bit... strange? thematically. Again, the part of Melkor and Manwë being essentially the evil and good twin is a dynamic I really like, but they're "made" from rather different "blueprints".

While Manwë has a special position as the Elder King, the other Aratar are his peers ("Though Manwë is their King and holds their allegiance under Eru, in majesty they are peers" - Valaquenta) and he's very much like any other Vala in the sense that he has one particular domain that informs his nature and where his talents lie and outside of that he relies on cooperation with his fellow Valar.

Melkor on the other hand (though don't get me wrong, he wasn't supposed to never go without any sort of collaboration or support) is special in the sense that he has a share in the other Valar's domains ("To Melkor among the Ainur had been given the greatest gifts of power and knowledge, and he had a share in all the gifts of his brethren." - Ainulindalë) and he's so vastly more powerful that he was able to hold his own against everyone else for a long time:

"Melkor must be made far more powerful in original nature (cf. 'Finrod and Andreth'). The greatest power under Eru (sc. the greatest created power).(1) (He was to make I devise I begin; Manwe (a little less great) was to improve, carry out, complete.) Later, he must not be able to be controlled or 'chained' by all the Valar combined. Note that in the early age of Arda he was alone able to drive the Valar out of Middle-earth into retreat." (Melkor Morgoth, Morgoth's Ring)

In my mind, it doesn't really "fit" for Eru to make this twin pair of Valar, born at the same time and presumably first, before all the other Ainur, and have one be this super powerful, not domain-bound Vala and the other being significantly less strong and very much domain-bound, as well as further restricted by not comprehending evil ("For Manwë was free from evil and could not comprehend it" - Of Fëanor and the Unchaining of Melkor).

What it does fit into is this idea prevalent in a lot of medieval narratives (broadly speaking) that the eldest son is special and usually the "greatest" and "most powerful", according to whichever metric is important in any given context. This idea can be found in Tolkien's works as well, one notable example being Fëanor.

Therefore I like to hc that Eru made Melkor first and, dare I say, made him in his own image as well. But then he quickly realized Melkor's potential for evil/his shortcomings/wasn't fully content with how he turned out/wanted to course-correct and "continued the thought" Melkor had come from, adding Manwë as his twin brother to balance him out; not in power, but in nature and purpose.

And the reason why Manwë knew that Melkor was like him originally, but at first failed to see what he turned himself into ("and he knew that in the beginning, in the thought of Ilúvatar, Melkor had been even as he; and he saw not to the depths of Melkor’s heart, and did not perceive that all love had departed from him for ever" - same source as last quote, sentence continued) is because Manwë came from that same thought.

~

So yeah, just my two cents and I want to stress again that these are my headcanons and my currently preferred reading and understanding of the above lines; the goal is never to say "you can't have your headcanons and here's why".

[1bringthesun]

what a lot of bsd fans, especially the younger ones, don’t understand is why or under what circumstances characters are described as “childish.”

it’s always a slap in the face when i see someone say, “oh, Oda called Dazai a ‘crying child,’ and people still ship them? obviously he’s his father figure!”

i’m not gonna argue against the fact Oda could have been some sort of authoritative, caring, older, responsible guy to Dazai, but under no circumstances do i think Oda saw Dazai as a kid.

as far as BSD goes, Oda is one of the most respectful characters to other people’s perceptions of themselves. hell, he didn’t even see his orphans as children. he had a convo with one of the em in dark era that went something like this:

“It’s always so upsetting when Pops treats us like children. We’re not kids, y’know? We’re adults. Is the fact that we grew up so fast an issue for the grown-ups?”

“Mhm, it probably is.”

so, if Oda doesn’t see a literal eight-year-old as a child simply because he knows how mature he is, what makes people think he’d see Dazai of all people as one…?

the reason Oda described Dazai as wearing the expression of “a child about to cry” has nothing to do with his age or his maturity- it’s because there’s a distinct difference in the way adults and children cry.

when adults cry, it’s with the knowledge that they’re not the only one suffering. that the world isn’t against them, but instead, they probably got themselves into a bad situation. when children cry, it’s free from rationalization and logic, just pure unadulterated agony at something that may not even matter in the grand scheme of things.

it’s not that Dazai is dumb, can’t understand that the world doesn’t revolve around him, or seems like a kid to Oda, it’s that the chasm in his heart transcends the normal despair of what you’d expect to see in a grown-up. it’s the same flavor of raw pain that you can see a child display when something doesn’t go their way, the same blindness to anything outside of their own point of view.

Dazai looked like “a child on the brink of tears” because while walking into the outstretched gun of a sniper, he could only see his own abysmal emptiness.

Oda also described Mori as having a child-like grin or something of the sort, so if he sees Dazai as a kid because of that, i’m going to claim he saw the boss of the mafia who happens to be double his age as a kid, too.

this is just something that has been on my mind, especially since i’ve been seeing an influx of Oda dad content. everyone’s entitled to their own opinions and headcanons, of course, but it admittedly grates on me when people get attacked for something stupid like this, and since the tumblr bsd community seems to be forgiving, i’m talking about it here.

[mystic-myrtille]

I'm in a salt mode so lets get into this

One of the biggest problems people had with the L//S is how poorly developed it's been and how less effort it has been put into it, And don't get me started how Adrichat and Maribug barely interact basically making the ship have 0 chemistry.

But then when ships like Lukanette and Adrigami came along, then there's some Toxic L//S stans who bash the characters (and doxx lukanette and adrigami shippers), with their only excuse being "ThEy R iN tHe Way of adr///ette/L//s (Mainly because they're insecure that Lukanette/Adrigami has Chemistry, proper development and effort and their ship doesn't)

I'm so sick and tired of the hate that Lukanette/Adrigami gets.

I'm so sick and tired of the hate that Luka/Kagami gets.

I'm so sick and tired of toxic L//S stans projecting their ship on every. single. damn. thing

I'm so sick and tired of seeing Lukanette/Adrigami shippers get d0xxed, threatened and bullied just because they don't ship the L//S or Adr//ette

Yikes, people doxxed each other because of ships?? For some reason I'm not entirely surprised. I've seen fandoms with super toxic people and the ml fandom sure can be toxic as hell. If you (general) get so worked up about people's opinions about characters from a kids show, you should be denied access to the internet and instead have access to tons grass to touch. But yeah, even just "normal hate" can be frustrating and discouraging, so it's best to just block those people. I completely understand your frustration.

Luka//nette isn't good because they were half canon, it's good because they have a meaningful bond and the root for drama is always outside circumstances and not the fact that they fundementally don't work together. If Mari wasn't Ladybug, they probably wouldn't have split up. That's why I love this ship so much. Besides, they never got in the way of anything. Realistically, no ship can get in the way of a confirmed endgame ship bc, well, it's endgame. So this argument is kind of falls flat (honestly most arguments against Luka//nette I've heard were either not really important or kind of a very outlandish interpretation of their relationship, I don't care about either.)

Heck, even if Luka//nette wasn't the rival ship but just friends in canon who interacted twice, who cares? Shipping isn't supposed to be serious, it's exploring different dynamics between characters and having fun putting them in different scenarios and have them have 6176310278 different first kisses. There's no rule that you have to be on board with the canon ship.

Now speaking of L//S developement (bc now I'm also in a salty mood and I have thoughts)

I and many others have already talked about how s1-4 didn't really do much with them. But I find it funny when people say that s5 did a great job developing they're relationship because... bitch where? I've watched season 5 (I have no self respect) and everything was confusing and over the place and I think that's bc the writers can't make up their minds about which problems the L//S might face actually matter and how they can be solved.

The season starts with Mari making a big deal about how loving Adrien is dangerous because hero stuff. Oh but actually it doesn’t matter, she likes CN now, problem solved! Oh wait no Chat friendzoned her and Adrien is pushing real hard for Adr//nette so they give up their fucking miraculous (in times of crisis I might add), problem solved! No wait, actually the new heroes suck so they take them back, but that’s okay bc being in love and being a superhero at the same time is actually no longer a problem for some reason! The actual problem is that Mari is incapable of expressing herself because she has trauma. And THAT’S the real shit because fucking everybody gets so invested they organize literal dates for them and watch from a distance until they smooch instead of, oh idk, letting them do things their own way. But actually that also doesn't matter anymore bc Zoe just confessed and Mari was so inspired she immediately ran to Adrien. Oh but Adrien is a senti without free will and he goes to england soon whoopsie. Also Gabriel and Tomoe are now Adri//gami shippers because of course we need an arranged marriage deal type of plot. Oh yeah there's also something about Monarch apparently having all the miraculouses but who cares amirite

See what I mean? There's no structure, no actually overcoming problems, it's just random shit happening without any connection to the previous random shit. The characters don't develop in a meaningful way. Mari's only life goal is making one cohesive sentence in front of Adrien and he's kind of just there. I mean he could maybe feel inspired by Marinette's passion for arts and crafts and try out some stuff or he could continue to have no direction in life. Yes, as a teen it's hard knowing what you want to do later in life, but Adrien doesn't even really have actual hobbies he can define himself through. The writers fail not only to develop the relationship as a whole but also the characters involved as people. They could as easily be a situationship where they meed every two days to make out and it wouldn't change anyting. It's just fan service here and there combined with shallow and forgettable dialogue (I think, there wasn't a conversation that stick with me at least) and idk this maybe works as a first love that maybe lasts for a year before they have a dramatic break up and then move on with their lives, But the show tries to sell this idea that the square will actually stay together forever (or have a constant toxic on-off thing bc that's the vibe I'm getting. Plus Bunnyx sort of implied that).

[gifti3]

Arranged marriage au with asmo

I need asmo to be in some type of royal otome slowburn manhwa

ramblings ramblings

the drama guys....the DRAMA! dont tell me a bunch of nonsense wouldnt happen

remember the post where i was like indifferent/passive aggressive asmo becoming curious about the MC fics are peak

similar thing is happening here! honestly i think theres some resentment coming from asmos side at first but mc is like ay....you do ur thing and i do mine

im not gonna make u do anything u dont want, i dont have any expectations from this arrangement. lets just try not to make each of our lives hell u know

lol i bet when asmo first meets MC after finding out that hes supposed to marry them he's like thinking "......ig theyre not that bad looking"😒 (he literally would have been flirting with them in any other circumstance)

hmmm mc needs to be apart of a pretty influential family i think since this is gonna be a political type marriage

and asmo,,,,i feel like he doesnt really engage in the specifics when it comes to politics or anything. it's just not something thats important to him. he has his side hobbies and business endeavors that cares about. But topics outside of those things are left up to his family

so perhaps one day, the head of the family (i wanna say lucifer but since i want the person in this role to give off more a mysterious vibe, where his word is final michael might be a better choice) is like... this specific family...theyre kinda important and we want them on our side so get married to their eldest who has rejected every other person ever but has agreed to marry and since u dont do much when it comes to political affairs im gonna have you do this whether you want to or not

and asmo is just like....HUH he tries to get lucifer to help him out here but lucifers like...yea dads not budging sorry lil bro (he doesnt say it like that but similar sentiment lmao)

now mc never really wanted to get married cause they didnt wanna have to go through the motions against their will and they like their life as is but their parents have been breathing down their neck about marriage for years now. And now that this BIG opportunity has present itself to their parents, it feels like the pressure is really on now! at first mc is like shit...idk if i can weasel my way outta this one

and then......they realized that maybe this could probably work out in their favor actually.....

mc agreed to married him cause asmo has a bit of a reputation as a partier and a playboy

with asmo they feel like things can stay as they are for the most part if they let him continue to do as he pleases (not like they could have stopped him if they wanted to lol)

everything can be the same, they can still live their own separate lives, just now they have the title of spouses!

and thats the plan, like i said before asmo comes in being a bit rude at first but it kinda changes to indifference and a little passive aggressiveness once MC is like...yo chill im not gonna shit on ur parade. i just wanna be left to my own things. you do you sir

yes thats the plan...thats supposed to be the plan and it was going as mc expected for a good while

but as we know if u put something or someone in front of asmo enough times hes gonna get curious

[archivalofsins]

So, I'm filling out my mail in ballot and like... Lately I've been getting hit with the cultural differences between myself and others.

So, I'd like to talk about how that may impact how I view Milgram.

It's no secret that I'm African American. Yet, there's a great deal of people that will have assumptions on what that means, how it looks, what I must be into outside of Milgram etc. These things as we've come to know quite well through Milgram, are biases.

As we've discussed before biases aren't inherently bad. Biases in and off themselves are ideas we pick up about society based on our personal experiences. They're like a quick cheat sheet that no one can help but make in their head.

For example- Since I said I was African American. One could assume things about my,

Skin tone

Education

Social Status

Simply based on that knowledge alone. One could assume that I'm dark skinned. An assumption that a good deal of people make when that term is used despite the various skin tones throughout the African American community.

If I were to then respond to that assumption with,

"Actually I'm light skinned." (This is a fact and a example.)

Another assumption would come into play.

"Oh what are you mixed with?"

This would lead to two answers. Nothing, literally everyone in my family is black. Or, "Wow; can you take an educated guess? I did just say I'm African American is there any historical context you could possibly gleam without asking me why my skin tone is what it is. Anything, is there anything coming to mind that may explain? Might rhyme with armory. Might involve a word that sounds like shave?"

Nope damn...the answers still nothing just African American or well if we discuss the history of slavery real quick we get this very complicated non-answer of too many things to count. Including white and Native American. Yet if you ask my dad what they put on his papers when he fought in the war they put negro. Because those other two things matter relatively less than the whole black thing.

So, most of my family history is black and I was raised in the black community. Didn't really stop me from getting that question a lot growing up. Mostly from people within said community. These are the sort of biases I believe are pretty common in most cultures. People will judge others based on how they look and assume things about their background.

This is highlighted in Milgram through Mu. It's brought up multiple times that Mu has been othered because of how she looks. Because she does not look typically Japanese, she looks foreign. She has honey-blonde hair and light grey eyes.

She mentions in a minigram that she doesn't like how rain makes her hair stick up.

People headcanoning Mu's victim as half black when France has the highest black population out of Europe wild.

X X

Hmmm, wonder why that headcanon hasn't been put on her ahn who knows.

Basically, noting that humidity and water makes her hair frizzy. Probably playing a bit into the reason she doesn't portray herself as being soaked in After Pain. Because she finds this aspect of herself to be embarrassing.

This also could subtly imply that she may straighten or style her hair. Outside of that Milgram highlights how different she looks before the series even starts properly. Noting it in her character description on the website.

A beautiful prisoner with overt features that set her apart from other Japanese people. Despite her slender frame, she’s very candid, and the type to rebel against the abnormal circumstances Milgram has presented her. Due to her nature, she will be very wary of Es at first. The way she conducts herself gives a sense of her upbringing. Leading us to speculate that she was probably born into a wealthy family. Perhaps, being born into wealth is why she has such a sense of pride, bursts into tears when clashing with others, and is prone to whining.

My sorry spells must be wearing off./I am always the drama queen.

x

Why won’t you stop hurting me? My heart is all dried up. My sorry spells must be wearing off. But I guess some of it is my fault./ It’s not my fault. I told you I’m queen, and it will never be changed. I’ve got EVERYTHING, everything is as I wish.

And even having it called to attention in the portal timeline.

20/05/31 Mu: Hey, Mikoto-kun, aren’t you scared of this place……? You can’t think of any reason you ended up here, right……? Mikoto: Ahh, yeah. Of course, it’s not like I’m not scared at all. But just between you and me…… I still haven’t dropped the thought that this could all just be a TV show. I mean, I really haven’t ever murdered anyone. ……and if that is the case, we’re definitely being monitored. For like a prank setup or something. Wouldn’t it be super uncool and embarrassing to get angry or lash and have it shown on prime time? Mu: Is that what you think……? A prank, huh…… I hope that’s all it is…… Mikoto: Ah! If that is the case, then you’ll probably be super popular since you’re so cute, Mucchan! There’s a lot of girls out there who make their big break coming off reality shows like that!

Like the fact that Milgram lays all of this out from the beginning along with the way it follows through on it is really good. Because it isn't just building as it goes or adding pockets of tidbits of character information on as the trials progress. It's all been there and still is there rewarding people for going back and looking, if they feel like it.

Through bringing to the forefront how different Mu is from those around her Milgram subtly highlights another form of discrimination in Japan. Racism.

Then it does this really interesting thing when it comes to her core friend group in particular.

Milgram makes a point of having all of Mu's close friends be individuals who for one reason or another would not be considered to look stereotypically Japanese. Milgram manages to do this without even giving Mu's friends faces.

Even highlighting in their insect forms through giving them different hair colors from the rest.

Just like Mu herself.

Q.11 Who do you want to see right now? Mu: I miss my friends too but most of all, Papa and Mama.

In her second voice drama Mu says,

...Warden-san. I think you're really doing something bad. Isn't it a bad thing to act like there has to be something wrong with someone for them to get bullied? Oh? No matter the circumstances, it's always the bullies who are in the wrong! Isn't that obvious? Warden-san you're so smart but you didn't even know something like that? maybe you should take some lessons on morals or something. ... Besides even if I've done something wrong, there's nothing that can justify bullying. Warden-san I thought you were nicer than this.

Not one thing that can justify it not even others doing something wrong. Meanwhile Mu's first trial character voice line,

It's your fault....for doing horrible things to me...

Mu goes on to say this in response to Es asking why does she think she was bullied after that,

"How would I know? I mean I'm from a rich family, and I'm an eye-catcher too... It was probably out of some kind of envy or prejudice, right?"

Plus, Mu's stance on bullying quickly changes when it's brought to her attention that Es believes she may have been a bully before she bullied. As she states,

"Leaving behind all that stuff you said about me possibly having been a bully myself- not that any of that's true of course!"

Sorry it was an easy shot.

Can you believe she said this right before this mv came out? Wild. Prisoners stay lying in their voice dramas. Never incriminate yourselves, always lie to authority figures. Double down on the lies if you need to. No one owes honesty to individuals or systems putting them in terrible predicaments.

Lie like you and honesty had a falling out. Lie like being honest betrayed you worse than it did Kazui. Keep lying. Honesty sorry that's a luxury I can't afford right now. I'm in my lying arc trust me at your own expense.

Be Mikoto trial two and gaslight the audience into believing that everything Milgram uncovered was actually a dream trial three. It will work better than you think Mu.

Like naw be more dishonest actually. The realest thing all the prisoners have ever done was just blatantly lie and not back down from said lies. They're all like fucking prove it go on prove it! What do you have mystical songs where I go I did that shit and I'll do it again?! That's not substantial enough evidence.

That could have been an over-exaggeration done to better highlight my artistic vision- Fuck you and your song extractor bring in some actual proof or piss off. This machine was provided by your facility how do you know it's providing accurate unbiased information. The facility had already deemed us guilty of something on incarceration this isn't fair or trustworthy.

Meanwhile if they're innocent what a great and interesting machine you have here.

Sure. So, if I'd gotten payback for how my bullies treated me then that'd count as revenge right? And if you believe that was my only option then don't you have to forgive me? ...Uh...I'm not really sure what you're trying to say? You see~ If you think that me bullying someone back after being bullied is the natural course of action, then wouldn't it be bad to bully me back in return? ... "But if you were like. "I won't forgive you Mu revenge is bad!" Then wouldn't that imply that it's also bad for me to bully someone back after they bullied me?" I think I'm kinda...starting to get your point...maybe. Warden-san are you maybe not all that smart after all?

Since the way Mu talks is rather quick and confusing purposely Es has difficulties understanding what she's saying. Despite the fact that she is just reiterating that since she's already been forgiven it would be best if Es kept to that verdict. Because Es has already set the precedent that killing out of revenge or in response to a slight is forgivable. Changing her verdict now won't change that precedent.

Meaning Mu has every intention to bully someone for bullying her again if necessary because Es has stated that the appropriate response to being picked on is picking on that person back. In a way Mu is saying that's what trial one cemented that treating people who have caused direct harm to your or others is completely okay actually.

So, it's best not to start problems for others others at all. So, if Es wants to change their verdict and pick on Mu now that would be no different than what happened to her.

This isn't even a veiled threat. Because she's just saying since you've realized that bullying is the appropriate response to bullying then you shouldn't pick on me because the obvious response would be me picking on you and you don't want that right? Or,

"If you want to betray from jealousy. I’ve told you what’s gonna happen."

The thing is the way I view Mu's story is subjectively changed based on my experiences as and African-American.

When I view her story I don't see the simple one of bullying. I see a story about prejudice and the othering of mixed and biracial individuals in Japan. How the mistreatment these individuals face when younger can lead to them bullying others later in life.

The fact that kids like that are often exposed to discriminatory treatment from a young age by peers and adults due to their overt physical differences. Something that can lead to a great deal of bitterness and self-loathing. Even internalized othering.

Q.08 Which of the other prisoners is most like you? Mu: I don’t think there’s anyone? They’re all weirdos.

This can be done to make oneself feel less than others or to cope and convince oneself that they are more special than those around them and everyone is just jealous actually. Mu falls into the later category. However, the later category is commonly used in response to discrimination of some sort.

Because it's easier and healthier to respond to others making fun of ones immutable traits such as physical characteristics by going they're just jealous. The other option is attempting to changing how you look entirely which for a lot of people won't work anyway. From that angle it's no suprise that in high school Mu would start doing something that may just have been done to her for much longer by girls who probably resembled those who picked on her a great deal or were people who used to pick on her.

Q.02   What scares you most? Mu: Painful things, scary things. Also embarrassing things. Q.07 What is your favourite place? Mu: Mama’s hometown of Nice. The sea there is beautiful.

As someone who grew up in the states a pretty diverse country. Well Mu saying things like her favorite place is her mothers hometown has a different ring to it. Because in Nice the way Mu looks wouldn't be considered odd or draw attention. Whereas in the place she grew up she can easily tell that the way she looks gets her both positive and negative attention.

I've said this before and I'll say it again the fact that Mu stands out due to her mixed ethnicity is just as a part of her story as being a bully is. The fact that she surrounds herself with people who are similar to her (seemingly mixed as well).

Well it really puts this spin on her story. Not just making it as simple as bullying it but turning it into this story of long term accepted bullying and what that cycle can lead to. If Mu was bullied and treated as different because of her looks and families wealth at a young age. Then she gets into this high school with other people with those experiences. It wouldn't be farfetched for her to want to use the opportunity to get revenge on the people who treated her poorly before and take advantage of the system that allowed it.

In order to lessen the impact of the idea of her being a bully which she denies as ever being true she states it would be fine for her to be one under Milgram's logic if it was in response to being bullied in the first place. That it's fine as long as it's revenge. A mindset many victims of bullying who become bullies later have. That it's fine to do because no one said it was wrong when it was happening to them. It's okay if they do it because if they do then it can't happen to them.

This especially puts an interesting spin on her first cover song and trial song.

Especially these lines,

Otome Dissection

There's been a lot of analysis of this song for a long while. For now, I want to analyze it from the angle of the singer dissecting themselves. An angle that the song has been taken from before. Given the visuals in the mv near the end.

The more overt ones.

Along with when the signer is shown pretending to call someone and closing their own body bag.

All after the line "Let's see if our climax had been a let down. Ever since that night."

Now if we phrase Otome Dissection as the singer singing to themselves that would make it more interesting in the context of Mu's case and the way it can relate to ethnicity. Because I think Otome Disssection manages to perfectly encapsulate the feeling of self-loathing, dejection, and hopelessness that being a minority can make a person.

The song highlighting how the singer has found something that makes them feel good as long as it hurts. Something that's validating and invalidating all at once. A way a lot of people feel about exploring or expressing their culture/ethnicity in a place where it's marginalized or stereotyped in some way. The feeling can be just as isolating as it is liberating simply because at times even when people want to do this there's not much community around them locally.

Plus, taking an interest in it won't make discrimination stop. At the end of the day people are still going to put you on a pedestal or hate you because of how you look. Though it can still be fulfilling. Also highlighting how one will dissect themselves, cutting themselves down to be more acceptable in an environment that didn't want to accept them to begin with. Again, going back to how it only feels good when it hurts.

They only get acceptances when they're burying parts of themselves. Yet, still desiring to be loved for everything they are the good and the bad and trying to convince themselves that they love who they are despite everything around them making it feel as though it'd be better,

If I had just disappeared.

All that self-loathing and disdain turns into boisterous self-confidence. Because it's feels like the only way that person can survive. Yet they still need this constant outwards validation because they don't know if they're allowed to be here. Even though they feel like they should be it doesn't feel like they are.

I want to feel “alive”, is it ok if I breathe? Tell me./I wanna feel shame, ever since the night when I realized it's good as long as it hurts.

Yet no amount of validation is enough because the person can't validate themselves. They're always going to be afraid of being found out then hated or the other person finding someone else.

Hey, what if If I am a bad girl- Don’t hate me./I actually had a dream you fell in love with someone else. Please tell me it's not true. Come on love me please?

A problem many people who have faced racial discrimination in their environments have is believing that others can like them. Because sometimes from birth all those people are given are reasons why others wouldn't. A list of things that make them odd or different from their peers. So, it's easy to understand why it would be difficult to believe.

After Pain

"I don’t want tomorrow to come. I want to forget yesterday I was miserable, someone please help me."

"If it’s endurance, I’m used to it. It’s just having another taste of it."

When it comes to Futa we see him become the victim of what he dished out after in Bring It On. Lamenting if both sides are losers in Backdraft. Yet, Mu tries her best to hide all the things that hurt and embarrass her. The source of her pain.

Because she doesn't want people to look at it. She doesn't want to replay it. Just like her second cover song further highlights along with her second trial mv.

She even states in the second written interrogation,

Q.01 What were you like as a child? Mu: I think I was pretty normal. I had a lot of friends, and learned a lot.

Yet she also states that she gets walked up to by modelling scouts on the streets because of her looks.

Q.15 What’s your dream for the future? Mu: A model, maybe. I’ve been turning down scouts while I’m still in high school though.

Definitely sounds easy to have a normal childhood with stuff like that occurring.

It's easy to write off Mu as not going through that much and just being a spoiled brat and a bully. However, I feel like that would be ignoring some very compelling parts of her character. Plus, she's not the only prisoners for Milgram to allude to dealing with forms of discrimination.

Plus, it is kind of strange that she would jump from having her friends bully people for her to murder. Like that isn't a very natural progression. Now she could be lying about not doing any of that stuff herself like dumping water on people or beating them up. However the only time we see her actually harassing a student is when they appear to be shaking them down and none of that stuff is occurring.

Then she's only alluded to being around in After Pain after her friends do that stuff. So, I genuinely doubt she was being dishonest about that. None of these feelings on Mu I stated here are new. I always appreciated how her story subtly deals with the ethnicity. I like how it shows a victim of bullying become a bully.

I like that it highlights how cycles of harassment begin. I love how Mu's first inclination is to frame herself as a victim of bullying in this situation because on some level she really thinks this is revenge for all the mean things others may have done to her. I also like that she's unapologetic about it. Plus my own complicated relationship with stuff like that makes me sympathetic to her a bit.

Even still it's Mu we're talking about she's not one to be knocked down and stay down. That's simply just another aspect to look at her under and it's one of the ones I find the most interesting given how I grew up.

I feel like that may just be one of the many things that may go overlooked based on how one grew up. Even though Milgram highlights it in a lot of ways.

Another one that may go over some's head is poverty in general given the cases of Amane and Mikoto. Like people not really understanding why he's so focused on his job or why Amane's family lives where they live etc. It's just interesting how Milgram tries to represent varying demographics. Like there's a plethora of other examples but I've gone over them before.

At least I find it interesting.

[dukeofdelirium]

What do u think of the theory mj couldve been autistic? Ive heard it would explain his want to experience his childhood and other behavior like his soft spoken voice.

I don’t think we should be attempting to armchair diagnose a dead man with anything. Michael was a very abused individual… he continuously said this was part of the reason he enjoyed more simple, “childish” things as an adult. He wasn’t just an abused person, he was also the main attraction when it came to the musical family of the Jackson’s. As such, he faced things his siblings did not and it affected him more than them.

Michael had a soft voice because that’s just how he was. I don’t see how autism would give someone a soft voice, and this is coming from a man who is neurodivergent himself. And Michael could speak lower than that, btw. A lot of ppl assume he spoke very gently (aside from it just being his personality) to protect his vocal chords, and while there isn’t proof one way or another, this would at least make sense.

Michael was a genius in many ways, and was obviously a very intelligent man. He was born with gifts that seem almost impossible for someone to have all at once. He was in every way, a prodigy.

We can’t sit and try to differentiate Michael’s behavior when he isn’t even alive, let alone the fact that he rarely gave interviews to begin with. He did not enjoy the press, or speaking much to the public. There’s also the fact that Michael was unlike any other human that’s ever lived… his life was extraordinary. So how can we say for sure, when his behavior could also have very easily been due to the highly unusual circumstances of his life?

MJ loved having simple innocent fun. He liked playing games, liked having water balloon fights, liked pulling innocent pranks, etc. I don’t find this to be proof of autism nor do I find it unusual for so many reasons.

1) He was famous as a 5 year old. And he never got a break from that fame. He became the most famous human that has ever walked the earth. He simply never had the opportunity to be normal, to be a child, to have fun in that way.

2) He was very badly abused throughout his life. His father beat him, he was teased constantly to the point he wouldn’t look in mirrors, he was being shown actual pornography on TV during interviews when he was 12 years old…. He was performing in strip clubs, prostitutes and such would make sexual passes at him, many women took advantage of him and Madonna herself sexually harassed and abused him on more than one occasion. Michael was deathly afraid of his father to the point he was literally vomiting whenever his dad would visit him… he was well into his 20’s at the time. He also would be in the room or sitting right outside the door when his older brothers would be hooking up with girls, so he was again being exposed to very mature things far too young. This isn’t getting into the abuse he suffered at the hands of the media and public.

Now tell me… if that were you, do you think you would be “normal” to the public afterwards?

3) He was constantly having to work his ass off. He never got breaks from dealing with complicated things like business deals, tour, rehearsals etc.

So having silly fun for him was relieving in a lot of ways. Michael also cared so much for children and was a very strong advocate against child abuse. Which is a huge reason he was constantly around children and doing things for children. Michael was raised to do charity work like that. He was a devout JW for a lot of his life, and believed very strongly in the Bible verse: “whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest among me in the kingdom of Heaven.”

I don’t think it matters why Michael was the way he was. At the end of the day, he was an incredible person who used his talents to give us art that we can enjoy forever. He saved millions of lives across the world through his humanitarian efforts and he did it all without being asked and without receiving as much as a thank you. And I think we should celebrate that rather than focus on rumors or on creating new ones. He loved children, and all people, and unlike other artists he truly brought the world together and taught us to love and to have hope.

Who cares why? We should be grateful it even existed at all.

[gemini-care-barr]

⚠️ Spoilers for World’s Finest: Teen Titans #5 ⚠️

On the subject of team books and friendships/teams in superhero comics in general…

So, I just read the latest issue (#5) of Mark Waid and Emanuela Lupacchino’s World’s Finest: Teen Titans series and I gotta say it has made me realize what I’ve been missing for a while in comics:

I. need. more. STRIFE!!!

I need more characters fighting and tearing into each other in the meanest ways! And NOT because they hate each other or are on opposite ends of the good/evil spectrum, but because people fight! They disagree! They get frustrated and they take it out on the people around them! And then when the pain of changing FINALLY becomes outweighed by the pain of staying the same: people GROW. They become better. They see how the ways that they were acting and the things they were thinking were tearing them apart and they come together against and despite that strife. And no, that doesn’t make things perfect, there will (and should) still be inner conflict and butting of heads, but that only guarantees more change and more growth because no one is constant and no one should be. The only constants are change, and, with a good team, each other.

And by God, this issue, and this series really, has shown that perfectly. Over the past few issues, we’ve seen the perfect dynamics of the team getting ever so slowly chipped away. Starting with Roy very understandably getting mad at Dick for not sharing his secret identity with the team which was promptly “fixed” in a way that we all knew wouldn’t last. Then we’ve seen Garth and Donna’s relationship on the rocks almost from the get-go because unfortunately shared circumstances just isn’t always enough for two people to base an entire relationship on when their similarities and compatibility basically stop there. We also have Karen bringing in a new guy and not really having too many close relationships with the already established team. And finally, we have Roy’s personal struggles with his father figure being aired out and almost ridiculed by the other kids who just don’t know how to help him. Oh, and of course we also have Wally who comes from an almost perfect superhero sidekick background (special thanks to my guy, Barry Allen, no doubt 😜) which unfortunately makes him a little too loving and lighthearted in the eyes of some of the team and is also seemingly pretty unequipped for dealing with their levels of dysfunction (can we really blame him? No, we can’t, and we really shouldn’t, he’s literally the most functional member of the team outside of maybe some of his judgement of Roy). And all these problems have (inevitably) finally resulted in a lot of in-fighting. In-fighting that has now utterly crippled them, but hopefully not for long as the final page shows Dick’s willingness to change when he goes against Bruce’s rules of secrecy and finally reveals his true identity to the team. I’m hoping this means that they’ll set aside their differences and start working as a team again, rallied around their now unmasked-to-them leader, but I have a feeling that waiting so long to finally reveal himself to the team may carry some consequences of its own for Dick.

Regardless, I’m excited to see some more deliciously grounded, well-written, and much-needed personal conflict in comics again. Not to artificially further a plot or build fluff drama, but to evolve characters and relationships alike.

[miasmaghoul]

HELLOOOO

okay so

I have an unusual question

I recently discovered my passion for writing, I've been inspired by a friend of mine and a bunch of blogs here on tumblr (including yours <3)

and now I'm trying to write smut for the first time and I feel like... embarrassed about it (?)

sooo, feel free to ignore but I wanted to ask: do you have any smut-writing-tip for rookies like me?

(forgive my poor english, pls)

First off, CONGRATULATIONS ON FINDING A NEW PASSION!!! That's a fantastic feeling. ♡

I know just what you mean about feeling wiggly about writing smut. I don't know a single writer who DIDN'T have this experience when they first wrote filth! There is a shockingly vast distance between having filthy ideas and actually typing them out. I assure you that this is perfectly normal!

Before I give my advice, please let me say that I am in no way a professional writer, so your mileage may vary here. This is what worked for my hypersexual ND brain back when I first started doing this at the tender age of [REDACTED]

My advice is this: start simple. (18+ under the cut)

Don't try to go all in during your first smut adventure - not everything needs to be an intense, intricate bondage scene featuring medieval torture equipment and a mustachioed man called Hamish. Choose something uncomplicated and more natural for your first time out - a max of two people, a simple act (i.e., a handjob) or acts (i.e., making out and mutual masturbation) and an easy to describe setting.

Next, don't worry about making it good in your first draft. Use that time to lay out the scene (x crawls into bed and y joins them, spooning up against their back) and setting up the bare bones of the events (y kisses x's shoulder and neck, reaches between their legs, uses their hand to get x off). Once you've done that, you can start describing things.

It's probably gonna one of two ways - clinical or over the top.

Clinical generally means that you're too literal and precise with your descriptions. For example:

Rain reached down and took Dew's cock in his hand. He stroked it from base to tip, over and over. He sped up once Dew started moaning and felt his own cock hardening as well. He worked Dew's cock until Dew came all over his hand and then grabbed his own cock to do the same.

See? Clinical. It gets the job done in terms of relaying information, but there's no emotion behind the words. No sound, no movement, no life. Things that I, personally, believe a sex scene needs in order to feel believable and real.

The opposite of this is the over the top sex scene. Think of this like watching really bad porn. The kind where people moan like they're about to cum when someone touches their arm, y'know what I mean? Tons of moaning and writhing and too much response to the slightest stimulation. Don't get me wrong, there's certainly a time and place for Dew jizzing himself over Rain licking his neck, but if your whole scene is set up like that it, I personally believe it becomes Too Much.

Ideally, I think, you want to strike a balance between these two things. You want to explain what's happening, but use language and descriptors that are more intimate and sensual. Which brings me to my third point - try to figure out the words and phrasing you're comfortable using before you really get into writing anything. If you don't like the way the words feel, don't use them! That alone can help make things easier to write. (As an example, outside of very specific circumstances, I hate using the word "pussy" and will avoid writing it!)

Perhaps my biggest tip is being very confident in your characters before you make 'em fuck. In my opinion. A bad/boring sex scene is one where the characters feel interchangeable. Think of it like this: a scene with Aether giving Swiss a blowjob should not be able to be read as a scene with Rain giving Dew a blowjob instead. It should feel unique, however you choose to make that happen.

Last bit of advice is probably the most obvious one: practice. Practice practice practice. Something sounds hot in your head? Write that shit down. Stick it in your notes app, even if it's just a few words. Practice by putting little scenes together in your head and then transcribing what's happening in them. Watch something erotic and think about how you would write that scene. Think of it like exposure therapy - the more you create smut, the less ashamed you'll be about it!

I will say it also helps to have a smut writer/enjoyer friend (or friends!) to bounce ideas off of, or to ask for advice. If you're planning to be active in the Ghost fandom, I can tell you that every single writer and artist I've interacted with here has been incredibly kind and welcoming. Don't be afraid to reach out!

This got so long lmao SORRYYYY

[koraesrambles]

Reasons I'm enjoying gotham war: a thought exercise.

I wanted to do a deeper analysis but am sitting in a restaurant waiting for my family to get here so might as well dive into it and I can do a more scholarly deep dive later.

I want to talk about Gotham Wars, why I'm liking it, what I think about it, and what I think they're doing well. I'm new to comics (tell me, at what point does your brain start to explode when you try to read the entire DC batfam canon in 2 months. Asking for a friend) but I'm not new to storytelling, so here we go!

K, so im a huge angst fan. It's a disease, not everyone is here for the angst but I most certainly am. The batfamily is so incredibly messed up, which is just right up my alley. I love WFA but let's be real, if they're not crying I'm not as invested. So this run where they are absolutely beating the shit out of my favorite character (Jason Todd)? Mwah. Beautiful. 10/10 will read 100 times.

I read stories for the connections between the characters, not so much the plot. Which is a personal preference thing. So the obvious plot holes and issues with the various characters points of view just don't really bother me. I can suspend my disbelief to think that heroes are running around in spandex beating people up, I can suspend it to think catwoman training an army of thieves to eat (I mean steal from) the rich is a viable idea. I don't care about the logistics, I care about how those things effect the characters.

And MAN do they effect the characters. Honestly I've loved Selina throughout this run. She could get a post all on her own. I love that she's refused to slander Bruce, I love how protective she is over her kids (step kids? Exs kids?) And I love every single interaction she's had with Jason. Honestly the moment that hit me hardest with her was when she's looking for Jason and thinks that if she loses him Bruce will never forgive her.

Obviously, Jason is a worthwhile human that has value outside of Bruce, but I think it really gives us a glimpse into Selina's mind right now. She loves Jason, she's grateful for his support and cares for him, but at the end of the day, he's the love of her life's baby boy, and it is that identifier that will pop up during times of stress.

I LOVE everything about Jason's involvement with this. I like that the tie ins are showing how he disagrees and the main storyline has him already convinced. I love that it explores both sides of his character, I love how it shows how important he is. And he is SO. IMPORTANT.

Bruce has obviously lost his ever loving mind (rip) and vacillates wildly between thinking his children were a mistake and wanting to protect them from everything. Up to this point, though plenty of the bat kids are sympathetic toward Selina, they aren't actively helping her, except of course for our boy Jason Todd.

Jason is actively working against Bruce (shocking right?) And I LOVE that Jason even tells Bruce that it's not just to spite him (though I'm sure that's a plus) it's because he believes in what Selina is doing. And Bruce cannot handle it.

Like I said before, Jason is Bruce's baby boy. The one he can't lose again. The one he needs to protect. But also he has to stop him from murdering people. And above ALL ELSE he cannot stand to see Jason in cahoots with someone else. Bruce doesn't share well under normal circumstances, let alone when he has totally lost his mind.

This vacillation has a lot of people irritated because they think that Bruce is being written inconsistently. I disagree, I think my man has lost his ever loving mind and he wants to both protect his children and STOP them. Him telling Jason he loves him not once, but TWICE within the span of a few panels while simultaneously ruining his life and leaving him completely defenseless is just... dude. My man. My psycho baby. Stop that.

Jason has always been fiercely independent and now that independence has been stripped from him. He literally can't protect himself. He's going to need to rely on other people to help him and heaven knows he doesn't have a good track record of people helping him out when he needs them.

Luckily, Dick knows about the drugging now and is super pissed off (GOOD!) Cannot wait to see where that goes next.

So tldr: why am I enjoying gotham wars? Mostly because so far everyone is obsessed with Jason Todd, which is highly relatable. Also because these relationships are being torn to shreds and looked at from a very interesting lens. Bruce is gone gone gone. Cannot wait to see his horror when he realizes what he's done.

[messrsbyler]

mike's monologue was built on guilt...

[disclaimer: i know i'm not discovering the wheel here. most of what can be said about byler has already been said by so many people before me so none of this is new. i've personally haven't read a post addressing this but i am sure there must be tons of them i haven't run into yet. all this to say, i wanna give my personal opinion on mike's monologue based on my rewatch of season 4 but in no way i'm pretending to be the first one to have noticed this. okay, that being said...]

mike feels so much guilt during season 4 it's actually sad.

so, we all know one of mike's biggest conflicts is how he understands the love others give to him. for mike, that love is tied to conditions he has to meet in order to keep. to keep it short and simple, we know mike feels the need to be needed in order to be loved, and this specially reflects on his relationship with el since that's how they dynamic started from the very beginning. el had no one and mike took her in. el became dependent on mike and under those circumstances, they became friends and then were nudged into a romantic relationship. then in season three we see how el is growing out of that first dynamic by becoming more independent and getting to know herself outside of mike and hopper and every other male who has had something to say about her life. that independence causes issues in mike and el's relationship because it's a type of dynamic they haven't experienced before and if el who is so cool and powerful, a superhero, doesn't need mike then there's no reason why she would want to stick around at all (remember that tied to mike's misconception of love is also his fear of losing people).

entering season 4, mike finds out el has been lying to him about his life in lenora and i think that's the first bead of guilt that drops on him. after seeing the abuse el suffers in rink-oh-mania, mike understands that el has been needing someone and yet she chose not to come to him. now, this isn't something mike holds against el mostly, but i think it's something that hits him hard in the sense of even when el was needing someone she decided to not seek mike for help.

then, when they have their fight where el confronts him for never saying he loves her anymore, mike still doesn't say it and instead deflects the responsibility to others. then the moment is over, el is taken away and when mike runs after her to say he will fix it and that el just needs to trust him, el doesn't really look at him. she looks defeated and tired.

when el is taken by owens' personnel and mike reads el's letter, that's when the rest of the guilt settles in. we get verbal confirmation of this when mike opens up to will in episode four during their first heart to heart.

mike knows what that thing he should've said was. of course he knows! el spelled it for him and he still didn't say it. so here, we have mike wondering if el would've needed him still, would've wanted him around if he had only said what she was asking of him. if he had, then el wouldn't be alone right now. he would be around to help and keep her safe.

guilt.

here, though, unless you read between the lines, maybe it's not so clear whether mike wanted to say that thing and simply wasn't ready to or not.

the scene in the car graveyard, though, it's pretty damning in my opinion.

what is interesting to me here is that before mike told will "if i had said that thing..." so we know he knows what he should've said. and still, here mike goes "i didn't know what to say."

clearly mike doesn't mean it in the literal sense. again, he knows what el was asking of him, he knows what she needed and wanted to hear, so the way i read this is that even while knowing what she wanted, mike still didn't know what to say because the words he could offer weren't the ones el was asking for. i didn't know what to say as in i didn't know what to say that was truthful and that could help el at the same time, which makes feel mike even more guilty because once more he couldn't be what el needed him to be.

that thought is confirmed with what will says next.

hard to say how you really feel because what if they don't like the truth. and mike nods at these words because he agrees with them.

now, it makes no sense at all if what mike is so scared to say was "i love you" like he said later in the season. it just doesn't. mike agrees to be afraid of expressing how he truly feels in case they (el) doesn't like that truth, but mike knows exactly el wants to hear mike loves her. mike disguises it later as in saying he was scared of losing el and by telling her he loves her he would lose her or something? but he is actively losing her by not saying how he feels! and then, at the pizza place, he still hesitates! he still needs a push to say i love you even when he knows that's what el needs of him and that by not saying it he risked losing el forever. why. does. he. still. hesitate. then.

makes no sense. unless, mike doesn't want to say i love you because he can't because that's not what he feels for el, and that fills him with guilt and with the fear of losing el because he can't be what she needs. so, with the guilt and with the fear of losing el and with will's nudges in the wrong direction, mike monologue happens.

and mike... kinda overdoes it by saying a bunch of things that we know aren't things el needs or wants to hear because she doesn't want to be a superhero anymore, even with her powers back. and mike also starts saying i love you over and over again, after not being able to even write it. that reminds me of this post i once saw of how when you keep repeating a word over and over again, it becomes meaningless and how it even stops sounding like a word. it's just sounds coming out of your mouth. hmmmmm...

anyhow, to end this post i just have to say: mike is dealing with a whole lot of guilt during this season because of his conflictive feelings, the ones he lacks towards his girlfriends and the ones that keep surfacing for his best friend, and when the moment life or death comes, mike (in good old mike fashion) decides to sacrifice his own feelings for the sake of helping and saving el, being what she needs him to be so he doesn't lose her

[terriblyrenderedenigma]

Darth maul be upon ye, the long awaited (probably) Part 2

FINALLY I return to finish my thoughts about the homie maul. Who knows if my writing can all fit, I don't even know the tumblr rules for writing lmao. So this is gonna be like Maul's loving style, and shit like. Mmm. Aat least how I think about it. Enjoy lmao. Part 2 of 2 (I wrote a lot) Warnings: None. (I think)

"I'm frustrated that my words cannot accurately describe your allure, the feeling of power that rolls off you in the same way waves crash against a shore, the way… just the way you live and breathe! It's as if the entire universe was meant to bow at your feet and sing your praises. At the end of time, if no soul takes your side, I will. Know even in your darkest nights and bleakest days that among the stars, there is a heart that beats for you and all you are. No matter what atrocity you claim to be. You told me you were a monster when we first met. Maybe I still need to see it. You still need to show me… Perhaps I'm a fool, letting my heart bleed for you. But even then in the scourge of your wrath, I would be there to wipe the sweat from your brow in the midst of your misdeeds to the galaxy." -Another bit of a letter about homie Maul. Love writing about this bitch.

Okay so Maul is the KING of slow burn. No fuckin doubt about it. Wanna know why? Trust. Trust is the most important thing in a relationship to Maul. He has to trust you, he has to know you aren't selling him out to his enemies. Because maker knows he's probably got a ton of 'em. The Jedi are on his ass, fuckin Palpatine, I mean, you try trusting someone in a galaxy against you huh? It takes him a while to trust you, and then some extra time to warm up on loving you. You probably won't even notice when he starts liking you because at most he'll probably not be so harsh with you. Maybe he'll use less insults, or won't glare so much at you, but he will definitely hide it behind some 'you are the only one who has not tested my ire' type shit. I mean he's so emotionally constipated he probably won't even know what he's feeling when he's around you and will try to beat his feelings out of his system by training or meditating. SO I take a pinch of my previous statement back. I have a feeling this guy is hostile (or at least passive aggressive) to everyone at first no matter what the circumstance. So, Enemies to lovers slow burn king. (which is Ironic because I am not good at slow burn skjhdlskj) When he FINALLY gets over his emotional constipation and gets a brick to the face with realization that he is crushing and crushing HARD, he is going to slowly start courting you. And I'm sorry. I'm sorry but he's a total fucking loser when it comes to romance and it shows. Like his anger may fuel up around you again because he doesn't know how to talk to you, what to talk to you about, or how to get closer to you without seeming weak or you know...anything like that. But like, the efforts he does make are so pathetically obvious and strangely out of character for him (and objectively, it's kind of cute watching him stumble over himself) you can't help but be swayed by his...'seduction tactics.' But YOU. You have to be the one to ask him on a date. Because he's just. He's too prideful okay? Stooping to such LOWS like...Affection. He grows out of that, don't worry. But like when you do ask him he's fucking floored. Almost literally. He has to keep himself calm and not trip over his word's and he's like "okay, let me choose an adequate location for us to be alone so that it doesn't seem like I'm showing any kind of weakness" Or something along those lines. He might accidentally insult you but please be patient he is legit trying his best. Outside of that when you finally have him wifed up (/hj) he is still awkward, new to this but trying his best. Don't expect him to be affectionate anywhere outside of his bedroom until he's comfortable with showing off you or this 'new side' to anyone. It doesn't mean he spends no time with you otherwise, it means his affections will be reserved to hushed whispers and small favors. Perhaps this manifests through seeking you out in the corridors, or providing you with little gifts that would appear meaningless to anybody else. It may take a while for his affections to become grander in the open, but one day it would happen. Unless you tried to force it out of him before he was ready then you're probably gone. He would make a laughing stock out of anyone who claimed affections for another were foolish and made him weak. NO. Hell no. He's soft for you but he can still kick ass. Obviously. I'm sure he would be rather possessive, I just know he would fear losing you. He absolutely uses that as a reason to usually be touching you in some way. Pinky fingers linked, his foot nudging yours, etc. He doesn't want to wake up and find you gone, find that all of this was for naught and dreams and peace really don't exist for him. He would spend as much time as he could learning everything about you. He would be so fucking devoted to you it would make your head spin. He'd know your favorite color, flower, time of day, place to be, things to eat, and he'd keep everything you didn't like away from you. To the best of his ability at least.

Went a little hard with this one, stuffed it full with as many words as I could lol. Hope you enjoyed. Spice may be available later upon request, here's the first part.

Until next time!

Ciao~ -Enigma

[therainscene]

2/5. lights confuse me so much in general. like, why does it require effort from will in s1 and teens in s4 to make lights flicker, but in the presence of smn/smth dangerous lights flicker by themselves? also, why do people and vecna affect lights directly from the UD but demogorgons & the flesh monster only affect lights in the normal dimension? i'm sure monsters are always roaming in the UD, but they don't mess with lights in hawkins the way vecna does (i suppose he does it unintentionally, so the lack of effort doesn't explain anything to me)

Hi, thanks for sending me these asks about the Upside Down! I'm going to address all five of them in this post -- but I'm going to leave this particular question for last. You'll see why in a bit.

First though, you're getting a rolled-up newspaper to the snoot for calling yourself stupid and your questions dumb. 🗞���🐶 There are still a lot of mysteries in this show, and questioning its inconsistencies is exactly how you solve them!

Why is the Upside Down literally upside down at some points but oriented the right way up at other points?

The Upside Down isn't literally upside down; that's just a visual metaphor the show uses to illustrate its trippy extra-dimensional nature. I wrote a post explaining the basics of extra-dimensionality a while ago that you might find interesting.

Why are the Christmas light decorations at the Snow Ball visible in the Upside Down if it's supposed to be frozen on 6th Nov 1983?

We know from the teens using Holly's Lite Brite in S4 that electronic lights in the real world naturally produce glowing particles in the corresponding spot in the Upside Down, even if those devices weren't there on 6th Nov 1983. Most likely that's what we're seeing at the Snow Ball.

Alternatively, it could be the case that the flow of time in the UD is more complicated than S4 led us to believe, and the Snow Ball lights will make more sense once we've watched S5. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

What's up with the random temporary gate in the tree that Nancy uses to visit the Upside Down in S1?

Nancy's tree isn't the only weird gate -- we see lots of temporary portals open throughout S1.

The show doesn't explain how these work beyond heavily associating them with Demogorgon attacks, and I think we're supposed to assume that the Demogorgon is opening them itself. This would explain Nancy's tree -- the Demogorgon was nearby at the time.

The trouble is, this raises far more questions than it answers. Why don't Demogorgons seem to use portals outside of S1, especially the ones imprisoned at Kamchatka? Was that one Demogorgon from S1 just a special boy with unique abilities? Why did Vecna need to wait for a gate to be opened by El if his minions were capable of opening their own gates? Did the Mothergate "unlock" this ability while open and "lock" it again when closed? If so, why no temporary gates in S2?

We're not supposed to know the answer to these questions yet; it's pretty clear that they're saving it for some big reveal in S5. I have a theory on what that reveal might be... but that's for another post.

Why are the circumstances of El banishing Henry to the Upside Down in S4 so different from when she does the same thing to the Demogorgon in S1?

On a literal level... yeah. The differences don't make a lot of sense. It's probably safe to assume that El opened a portal in S1 like she did in S4, and it had already closed itself by the time the particles dissipated enough to unblock our view... but as for how she ended up in the Upside Down, and why the Demogorgon wasn't in there with her...?

To answer this one, I think it's helpful to remember that literal readings only get you so far when you're dealing with a story as steeped in metaphor as Stranger Things.

When El banished Henry to the Upside Down, it was a triumphant act of self-defense, asserting her autonomy against an abuser. But when she banished the Demogorgon, it was a tragic act of self-sacrifice -- she defeated it (thus why it disappears), but at the cost of remaining stuck in the "weapon" role Brenner had forced her into her whole life.

Both Henry and El were at a low point when they "died", and getting sent to the Upside Down afforded them an opportunity to start a new journey of self-discovery free from Brenner's influence. But while One stayed there and became Vecna, Eleven chose to escape and be "reborn" as El.

[The rebirth symbolism really couldn't be any more on-the-nose. 👀 Speaking of this portal -- you wondered where it came from -- it's the same one the Demogorgon burst through in the S1 finale.]

And so we've arrived at your final question.

In my opinion, the lights are part metaphor, part mystery being saved for S5.

I think I'd need to comb through the whole show double-checking every instance of the lights flickering to properly address the mystery stuff, and unfortunately I don't have time for that right now. But I'll say this much: I think you're on the right track for questioning the way the lights behave, because it's possible the show has been misleading us into thinking we're looking at one thing (let's say a monster) when really we were looking at something else (let's say a kid with powers).

As for the metaphor? When Will and the teens were trapped in that cold, dark, despairing realm from which it seemed like there was no escape, what saved them was reaching out to the light of hope -- their loving friends and family.

Even El, who escaped all by herself, was still beckoned back to the real world by its light shining through the portal.

At the end of the day, that's what this show is about: love and hope conquering the despair of being different and rejected and abused. Bearing that in mind makes it a lot easier to figure out what's going on with the lights and the Upside Down, in my opinion.

It's why monsters only make the lights flicker or go out when they breach containment and enter our world: because they're destroyers of hope. It's also why powers sometimes make the lights flicker and sometimes make them surge: being different can be difficult to cope with... but it's also a beautiful and valuable thing to be.

[jamiesfootball]

apologies if this has been asked/answered/referenced somewhere i haven't seen but where did the title for 'oh god, you're gonna get it (you have not been given love)' come from??? every time i see/read it i feel like i've read something inherently profound. if you came up with it you're even more of a poet and a genius than reading the fic had led me to believe - which was a lot lol (seriously it's so good, literally how???????????????????? i feel like this title is haunting me and the fic has definitely caused some level of brain rot)

THANK YOU FOR SAYING IT GAVE YOU BRAIN ROT. I HAVE NEVER BEEN SO FLATTERED.

The closest I have come to talking bout the title is here but at that point the title was still redacted on my posts so I'd say that barely counts!

So this is going to be long. Do try to bear with me, I've done my best.

The title is pieced together from two different song lyrics, but I think I did an excellent job in both picking a title that echoes the themes AND in smushing it together to make something new.

Oh god you're gonna get it is from Florence + The Machine's 'Girls Against God', which is one of those songs that came on when I was deep in the blorbo feels and they imprinted on the song so now that song just is a Roy Kent song to me, with many parts of it speaking to the vibe I wanted to bring into this fic. The quiet helplessness, the barely restrained incandescent rage -- all set against tragic, mundane life.

What I love most about this part of the title is that it's so loaded with meaning. Because 'oh god you're gonna get it' can read as 'oh god, you will understand'. Is it reassurance? Is it telling someone that it's okay if you're confused and lost now, because in the future they will understand?

Is it foreshadowing? Is it a warning? 'Oh enjoy you're obliviousness and confusion now, because one day it will make sense and you will understand. Oh god, will you ever understand.'

Then we have the part of the song that contains the title:

Oh God, you're gonna get it You'll be sorry that you messed with us

And here it becomes a threat of violence, and echo of rage acting against outside forces.

So that's part 1 of the title.

The nested part of the title, the part in parenthesis, is 'you have not been given love' by A Balladeer. Now, this song is more vibes than lyrics, though it does have some echoing ideas towards Jamie regarding generational trauma. That mixed with the lamenting tonality with which it's sung made this one really stick out.

Well, that and the fact that the title is repeated no less than sixteen fucking times. You can see why it was stuck in my head, yes?

Again, though, the lyric when taken at face-value feels loaded with meaning. On the one hand, it's someone recognizing, 'oh, I understand now. there have been circumstances in your life that have brought you to were you are now, and how you are able to perceive love has been directly affected by how you have not received it before.' But then it's also saying 'hey, those things you lived through, those things that other people gave you. those weren't love. you know that right?' And finally it's an understanding about someone, 'oh, you are an unfed thing. you do not know what love is, because you have never been given it'

Even if you take each part of the song piecemeal, with each section representing a different character, you end up with a fascinating tension. But if we combine the two we get this reverberation between the getting and the given. 'You will get', and nested with it 'you have not been given'. You will get your understanding (that you have not been given love). Oh god you will understand (that you are an unloved thing). You will make them pay (for they did not give you love). And most importantly

Oh god you're gonna to get (the love you were not given)

[skitskatdacat63]

Misc lore drop day 2/?

I think I’ve talked about this a bit before but, the most important characterization in Boy King AU is that they are all up against an insurmountable status quo, so, how do they react to that?

Seb:

The status quo is literally there to serve him, he is the master of it. 

Though he eventually has to do some soul searching later on about what it really means to be emperor, and how that affects his relationships with other people.

He's just really not aware of it all tbh because it all comes to him naturally. Like of course I am emperor and all these others must pledge their loyalty and fealty to me, this makes sense! How could it be any other way!

But yeah, he's at the top of the metaphorical food chain so it's never going to naturally occur to him that there is a clear hierarchy. He knows he's on top obviously but he doesn't really think about what that means, he just takes it for what it is. Though this of course opens him up to still always wanting more, because isn't that his birthright? That he must be the emperor of the world?

Fernando is the one to shake his worldview. No one else is gonna say to his face, oh yeah you're not in that position cause you actually deserve it. Everyone else is of course going to assure him that he deserves it because of just more than simply blood and inheritance. I don’t know if I’d play into it too much in this AU, but irl of course, the HRE is literally dictated by divine right. So it’s really no surprise Seb and most others are of course never going to question it, there’s literally no reason to and doing so would be going against the divine will.

So I think it’s a really good sign of character growth that he is willing to step outside of that, even though it literally means he is undermining himself, even if it’s only him that knows that. He’ll always come to the conclusion that he deserves it, and there’s nothing that can convince him otherwise, but he does become more aware of what it means to be in that role. 

Also important thing to note. The status quo is of course that everyone is loyal to him and loves him and he’s the most important, etc etc. And that’s the first thing Fernando shakes up. This both cause problems between them but also makes him more enticing to Seb. Because it would be the first time in his life that he actually has to win someone over. It’s interesting though because even before Fernando comes into his life, he does realize this subtly. He prefers to hang out with Jense over others, and he doesn’t really get why, he just feels like he has nothing to prove and no image to live up to when he’s around Jense. He’s not afraid to be himself around others of course, that’s teh trait that separates him and Fernando, but he still feels sometimes like people are around him because they have to be, not because they want to. Fernando makes him have to think more about that.

Fernando:

He wishes he could rail against the status quo, or more accurately, wishes he could bend it to his will, like Seb does. Or more accurately, like he thinks Seb is able to. He doesn’t really realize they’re both stuck in roles, Seb’s just happens to be above his with better circumstances. But again, circumstances that are outside of his control.

He largely benefits from it, but what he has will never be enough for him. He can't accept it, though some deeper part of himself does and is glad for where he’s at.

His younger self was like Seb, he thought the world was at his feet. And then. It wasn't. 

He's honestly so hypocritical because obviously his whole throne depends on birthright but he of course has this idea in his head that he won it, he deserved it. And yet criticizes Seb to his face for displaying the same behavior. He’ll straight up tell him, “well you know you’re only emperor because you were born into it” as if he himself wasn’t on the path to king, with a few more bumps, in the same way. I guess it’s up to the audience to decide if he really does deserve it more than Seb does. 

His problems with the status quo are very complicated. When he was young he was very petulant, like oh yeah of course i'll be king. But in reality, he really didn't know if he would or not. Yes, he was likely(because the King didn’t have an heir so he’s the most likely pick), but he still deep down knew that could change at any moment. But then it became a reality, but only when Seb’s family challenged for the throne. Because that gave his claim and inheritance legitimacy, because people were suddenly willing to fight him for it. So, again, he benefits, but it’s always going to be linked, to him, to Seb trying to take it away from him. He has legitimacy in his own right, but the way it was realized, in at least eyes, makes him feel bitter about it. Basically, he was always going to be king, even though he doesn’t know it, but the circumstances around it made him feel like he had to fight for it. 

The status quo explained to him was that he would have to marry Seb in order to secure his throne safely. In all honesty, they could have fought a war and not have to have those concessions. But the marriage just seemed safer, easier, and inevitable to everyone involved. But let’s just hope no one tells Fernando there were other options. It’s very scary when the biggest empire is fighting your claim, at that point you’re willing to do whatever you can to keep it. 

Mark:

On the surface, he's very much accepting of it because I think he's actually similar to Seb this way. He accepts that this is the way things are, and there’s no real reason to even try and think outside of it because that would be foolish(and also disobedient!)

He struggles a lot with bitterness and jealousy but doesn’t understand it enough, and that’s fine because even if he did, it’s not like he could do anything about it. 

He really struggles to have his own identity because his identity is literally that he serves Seb! That’s what he was raised for, that’s all he knows.

 It does give him an advantage because he might actually have the most influence over Seb because they are almost connected at the hip most of the time. Though even though he has this influence, I don’t think he really knows how to wield it in any meaningful way, as compared to Nico. He’s just not the most shrewd, because his world revolves around Seb, and as I said, it’s hard to think outside of his most sacred duty. 

Jense is his best friend, other than Seb, but Mark struggles to understand him. He can understand everyone else, but not Jense because Jense almost exists completely outside of the hierarchy. Yes he’s in the power structure but he chose to be, and didn’t have to. This is unthinkable to Mark. He likes serving Seb, but that’s because that’s his purpose. He doesn’t understand how Jenson could leave behind his “purpose” and choose something else. 

Jenson:

He is pretty aware of the status quo but he just doesn't pay any mind to it. He's more on the level of Seb. He got what he wanted and he's happy with it, he doesn't long for anything more. 

He’s in an interesting place because he escaped the bounds of the status quo way more than literally anyone else. No matter if they’re happy with it or not, basically all the others are stuck on one path. Jense however was a prince in a completely different kingdom! He chose to serve Seb(well the previous emperor to be more accurate.) That makes him a very confusing figure to everyone else because they’re like, “you can do that???” 

Jenson: What, like it’s hard?

Though this allows him to get along with everyone pretty well, because they don’t really factor him into the hierarchy. He’s an insider to someone like Fernando, but an outsider to others like Nico or Mark. To Seb, he’s just a fun, reliable guy who treats him like a normal person, and neither of them have any real expectations of the other. 

Nico:

He’s so much more aware of the status quo than others like Fernando and Mark.

He recognizes pretty early on that he actually probably has more influence when acting behind the scenes, rather than by being the figurehead.

The monarch has everyone vying for his attention constantly. Someone like Nico is the one vying for the monarch’s attention, and he very easily has Seb’s ear.

It's very annoying to him though when he's mistaken for Seb because it brings up a lot of unwanted, repressed feelings in him. He can tell himself rationally that he doesn't want to be emperor, but of course there's always going to be a hungry part of him that does. 

Kimi:

Bwoah.