#the thing is like otherwise im in a really great mood!!??

[horrorsequel]

i unlocked a new hallucination abt my skull this is crazy . its abt the face part? who cares about THAT shit not me

[luv4fushi]

omfg i litr read everything uve written off ur masterlist I NEED MOREEEE. i love the way u write megumi especially, i couldn’t get enough of it. i hope you write more of him, my heart aches for more tbh 🥹 tysm for being such a good writer and feeding us starved readers well

tysm! i'm sooo glad i can be a good source of megumi content for you >_< i looove writing megumi so you'll be seeing sooo much more of him, dw! happy holidays!

this december

jjk fushiguro megumi x fem!reader

it’s always colder on your own, especially around this time of year. you should be at home, bundled up with a warm cup of hot chocolate, but here you are in shinjuku, exorcizing curses with your ex boyfriend two weeks after your breakup with him. great.

content: post break up, aged up megumi (19/20), megumi is terrible at feelings, getting back together, fluff if you squint, a bit of angst, miscommunication, one bed (but it isn’t the main plot point sorry), megumi calls you baby like once, gojo is the best wingman, SHIBUYA ARC NEVER HAPPENED AND LIFE IS GOOD, not proofread im very sorry guys pls forgive me, kinda a word dump sry

word count: 5.8k (sigh this was supposed to be 2k words max)

click on my masterlist for more & merry christmas to those who celebrate!

it’s december 19th when satoru gojo tells you that he has a mission just for you. you’re less than ecstatic about it to say the least. the last thing you want to do is be sent to your death just shy of christmas day. you just want to rest your sore muscles and bask in the presence of your best friends. you’re not in the mood to kill any curses, mainly because you’ve just recovered from a previous mission.

“why me?” you groan.

gone are the days where you used to be a goody two shoes for satoru. you’re old enough to talk back now, not like when you had been a shy fifteen-year-old girl. besides, you’ve been around the silver-haired sorcerer long enough to know that he doesn’t mind the bite.

“sorry, kid,” satoru says with a shrug. at least he sounds genuine about it. “the higher ups requested for you specifically. they say you’ll get the job done in the cleanest way. we can’t have things getting messy before the holidays, right?”

“and you wouldn’t be the best choice?” you quip.

satoru only laughs. he ruffles your hair. even with your growth spurt and merciless training, he still towers over you. in a way, he’ll always be your mentor. “hey, i’m going out of town that weekend. give me a break.”

you huff petulantly. something about this mission seems fishy to you. you’re not nearly the strongest sorcerer out of the bunch of kids under satoru’s wings (not that you guys are kids anymore, but sometimes it’s hard to feel otherwise). hell, there’s the kyoto students. it feels like they never have to do anything. you wish that you were rebellious enough to chew utahime out for it.

“why couldn’t they just make yuta or megumi go?” you mutter under your breath. you stammer out megumi’s name and hope satoru doesn’t catch on to the way you can barely say it.

satoru knows about the breakup. why wouldn’t he? he’s basically megumi’s dad, even if the raven haired boy refuses to admit it. satoru’s six eyes mean you can’t hide anything from him (he’d been the first to know that megumi was head over heels for you).

satoru raises a brow. “oh, right. megumi’s coming along too.”

your face twists and you immediately whip around to glare at him. “you’re lying.”

“i wish,” he jokes. “i was really hoping i’d get a wedding invitation one day, you little rascal. i can’t believe you two broke up. maybe this’ll be a good thing!”

“i appreciate your honesty, but—”

“but megumi’s an emotionally constipated kid, yeah, that i know,” satoru laughs. he makes his way to the exit of his office which has you furrowing your brows. is your former teacher actually gonna just leave after making you come all the way here? how rude and so very in character of him.

“please, gojo,” you call out after him, “i don’t wanna go with him.”

“sucks for you,” satoru responds halfheartedly. “merry christmas. try not to take more than a week on this. you’ll have to pay the rest of the fee for accommodations if you do.”

“gojo!” you whine.

“it’s not a hard mission!” satoru insists like it’ll make your life any easier. “y’know, this time of year is when things get ugly. think of it as saving as many people as you can while putting in the least amount of effort!”

and then he teleports. your former teacher teleports away rather than being normal and walking out of the door. you roll your eyes and hope that he can sense it (you know he can’t).

so that’s why you’re here now. with your ex. on the elevator to your assigned room on the tenth floor. you’re so glad that it’s a normal hotel and not a love hotel. lord knows what you’d do if you had checked into a love hotel.

megumi hasn’t spoken a word to you since he broke up with you two weeks ago. it had been in the doorway to your apartment a few days after a particularly rough mission assigned to the both of you—the one you’re still recovering from. he’d pulled you in for a hug, whispering sweet words into your ear. he gave you a look, one of those looks that made him soften his usually sharp eyes.

“i think we should break up.”

and then came the pathetic whimper of yours. he had wiped your tears, even kissed them tenderly, before telling you that it wasn’t your fault—it was his. how cliche.

now as you stand next to him, you want to beat yourself up for not asking for closure. neither of you had explicitly stated that you two were going to be no-contact, but it hurts a lot less to push the idea of forever with megumi away to the back of your mind. besides, you two aren’t confrontational like that. not with each other, anyway.

“need help?” his tone is soft, tender—the tone he reserves specifically for you, the one that tells you he still cares.

you stare down at the luggage at your feet. you’ve always been a chronic overpacker, a habit that megumi knows of by now. he watches you curiously, hands itching at his sides. you can tell that he wants to reach out and grab your suitcase like he always does. he thinks he isn’t obvious, but you can always read through the lines, especially when it’s megumi.

“i’m okay,” you croak out, clearing your throat awkwardly.

the elevator dings and you make your way to your room. as much as you hate to admit it, you’re sort of glad that you and your ex boyfriend are sharing a room. perhaps his’ll be a good way to get closure, though you’re not really sure what closure entails.

what you don’t expect is to unlock the door and be met with a singular bed.

if satoru gojo didn’t have a layer of infinity coating his body (and if he wasn’t the strongest sorcerer alive), you would’ve wrung out his neck.

megumi simply walks into the room, setting his duffel bag down on one of the dressers opposite from the foot of the bed. he doesn’t comment on the lack of double beds, seemingly already aware of the set up.all he does is puff out a weary sigh. you suck in a breath and follow him inside, slipping your shoes off at the entrance.

you lug your suitcase in after you along with your duffel bag and backpack. you stumble forward and megumi’s arm snakes around your waist, steadying you.

“careful,” he mutters, nonchalantly taking your bag off our your shoulders.

it’s a quick series of movements; he swings your bag over his shoulders and places it on the dresser next to the one he’s claimed while guiding you softly to the side of the bed so that you’re not standing in the middle of the doorway.

you scrunch your face, feeling your heart thump against your ribcage. it’s stupid how he still has such a hold on you, even after two weeks of not seeing or talking to him. he’s just so caring, so gentle. it stings, like little the little cuts you get when fighting curses, when you realize that this is something you’ll have to learn how to lose.

“thanks,” you manage to mutter. you don’t trust yourself to say anything else. you know from the way your throat tightens that you’ll be crying soon if you force yourself to talk any more.

“i can take the couch,” megumi says.

it’s that easy with him; he’s a gentleman, so of course he’d take the couch. that’s the way megumi fushiguro is—he offers a solution before you even have the chance to complain. in your year and a half long relationship, that skill of his had been a saving grace.

“no, don’t bother,” you croak. “i’ll book another room.”

“really?” he asks. he stands up a little straighter, awkwardly reaching up to scratch the back of his neck. “i mean, i don’t mind sharing a room with you… we’ve..”

we’ve shared a room countless of times before.

megumi doesn’t have to continue his sentence for you to understand what he’s implying. you part your lips to speak, but nothing comes out except for a long, heavy sigh. your shoulders drop as you let the exhaustion seep into your bones. there’s no use arguing about it, not when you don't’ mind sharing a room with megumi, either.

“we’ve broken up,” you remind him in a quiet voice, like you’re afraid saying it out loud will make it truer than it already is.

megumi pauses. you see his adam’s apple bob as he swallows thickly. “i know that, but … it’ll be fine. we’ve shared a room as friends before.”

he’s right, like he usually is. you two have shared a room before as just friends, but that had been as teenagers—back when you both harbored such hardcore crushes on each other that you two somehow didn’t notice.

“right,” you find yourself agreeing with a small nod.

“you should go get ready for bed.” megumi begins grabbing a few or the decorative pillow off of the bed. he places them gingerly on the brown couch tucked in the corner of the hotel room. “we’ll be getting up pretty early to deal with the brunt of the mission.”

to finish this mission as quickly as possible, you think.

and so you oblige and head to the bathroom. it’s december 19th, just a few days shy of christmas day, and you’re in bed with your ex boyfriend on the couch just a few feet away.

december 20th greets you with megumi hovering over you. he peers down at you with his messy bangs covering his eyes. they’re piercingly blue as he blinks. his lashes flutter perfectly, even in the early morning. your eyes meet his and you jolt awake.

“good morning,” he says. “your alarm has been ringing for a bit now, so i turned it off.”

you blink rapidly, getting the tiredness out of your eyes. “oh.”

he chuckles softly, just enough for you to catch it with your ears. he rises from his crouched position and heads to the front door. he spares you a glance over his shoulder before he heads out, presumably giving you the privacy you need. you let out a strangled breath before you swing your legs over the bed and head to the bathroom.

by the time you’re finished putting on your uniform, you swing the door to your hotel room open and see megumi leaned up against the wall, tapping away on his phone. his dark blue eyes flicker up to you and he turns away to head down the hall.

you furrow your brows. you can’t help but think that he’s being a little cold to you. it isn’t like you initiated the breakup. despite your frustration with his behavior, you can sort of understand why he wouldn’t want to be sweet around you; you two aren’t dating anymore and so it makes sense that he’d go back to being aloof in your presence, the usual way he acts around everyone else. losing that position in his life makes your stomach churn for reasons you’re less than willing to uncover.

your mission is a vague one; all you know is that it’s a clean-up mission. rather than a level 1 curse (or even a special grade), the mission consists of an acclimation of weak curses surrounding shinjuku. these missions are normally given to younger, more inexperienced sorcerers with the help of a senior sorcerer, but for an odd reason, it’s been given to you and megumi this year. megumi could’ve probably handled it himself. actually, you could’ve handled it yourself.

you bite your tongue to hold back on your complaints as you walk just a step behind megumi. he pauses regularly, waiting for you to catch up to his side. you roll your eyes in secret. does he not realize that you don’t want to walk next to him?

“it’s all just bars,” you mutter.

with that, you earn a tiny laugh from megumi. “well, yeah. this is the red-light district of shinjuku.”

you pale. “this sucks.”

“why do you think i wanted to come out here in the morning rather than at night?” he says, his tone strangely light.

“to deal with the brunt of the mission,” you repeat his words from last night sarcastically. you’re unsure as to what he’s talking about, so you think that it’s okay to give him a little bit of attitude.

he raises his brow but doesn’t comment on your sarcasm. instead, he says softly, “no, stupid. it’s because this is the red-light district. it’s unsafe for anyone, especially a pretty, young girl alone at night.”

your first thought is to coo and tease him. you think i’m pretty? it takes you half a second to remember that you two are broken up. you scoff, “i’m perfectly capable of handling myself.”

“i never said you weren’t,” megumi shoots back. “it would just be annoying explaining to the higher ups why you were fighting people and not curses.”

“i’m sure they’d understand,” you retort, frowning. you cross your arms.

“don’t be so pouty,” he says in that stupid, gentle tone he uses with you when you’re acting bratty.

you both decide to split up. well, it’s more like you demand the two of you to split up. you say it under the pretense that it’ll get the job done faster. besides, you both want to be home before christmas day, right?

there’s about two curses you cross paths with every hour. you’re starting to lose your mind. shouldn’t the streets be infested with them? you don’t even need a veil! all you have to do is give the weak curses just one punch and they vaporize on the spot. your head is running with hundreds of thoughts.

that’s when it hits you: the first years at the tokyo jujutsu school did come out here a week prior! maybe they did a bad job? but you remember nobara had been the one to lead the group. she may half-ass almost everything in her life, but she wouldn’t jeopardize her underclassmen for the sake of her freetime.

so why on earth are you here? it’s not like there are enough harmful curses for a mission to be assigned to you right before christmas, and to you and megumi of all sorcerers. you’re both strong enough to the point of having some kind of importance in the jujutsu world. the higher ups wouldn’t send the two of you on some stupid mission for the sake of it unless they’re planning some sort of secret execution. but even then, satoru gojo should’ve known through their lies to not send you or megumi. unless…he wants you two dead…?

you shake your head and bite your nails. the sun begins to set and you realize that you’ve been out here for longer than you expected. you’re starting to feel a chill in your bones—you had argued petulantly with megumi earlier about not wanting to wear your jacket despite it being the dead of winter; “it’s gonna get in the way!”

you always seem to forget the the sun sets earlier in the winter. it’s stupid how bright all the lights are in shinjuku. there isn’t a square foot of anything that isn’t lit up with neon signs reading out the names of clubs and bars. you see couples and large groups of people walking along the streets.

it’s lonely, you realize. it would’ve been less lonely with megumi.

you make your way to the meeting spot with megumi. you both share a few small words before retiring for the night. megumi says he wants to go sightseeing, even though there’s really nothing much to see. he doesn’t return to the hotel room until late at night.

when he slips into the only bed that the room offers, you chalk it up to the slight alcohol you smell on his lips. it feels so natural that you don’t push him away even though you should. his body is warm and you fit so perfectly against his broad chest that you think it’ll be okay for you to be a little selfish tonight.

“g’night,” megumi mumbles in his sleep.

you smile and nuzzle closer.

it’s december 21st as you realize how late it is in the day. megumi is back on the couch. you feel a tinge of disappointment in the bottom of your stomach.

to no one’s surprise, the sun is barely peeking over the buildings when you’re finally back in the red-light district. you’re doing the last bit of cleanup, but there’s really nothing much for you to clean.

tomorrow, you’ll be heading to a shopping mall, so you suppose you should do your best to sniff out the rest of the curses littering the place unless you want to stay here an extra day. the day is, yet again, slow.

it’s nearing 8 PM and you're finally sure that you’ve gotten rid of all the curses in the general area. you’ve been done for quite a while now, but you just haven’t found the courage to let megumi know that you’re ready to go back to the hotel room. a little sightseeing on your end wouldn’t hurt, right?

“hi, pretty.” a gravelly voice, battered by cigarettes, whispers in your ear.

you jump in surprise. you need to remember not to get too far into your head. you should’ve felt his presence coming from a mile away. it’s a terrible habit and satoru has scolded you for years about it.

“hi,” you mutter, pushing past his larger frame.

the man isn’t as nicely built as the men you know (but then again, your friends are jujutsu sorcerers, so it’s kind of hard to beat that), but he still towers over you. he’s got a squad of rough-looking guys behind him, smirking down at you.

“why’s someone like you alone?” he says, shoving his arm to loop around your waist.

you roll your eyes, getting ready to punch the man square in the nose. will you get in trouble? probably yes. will it be a funny story to tell? also probably yes.

“don’t touch my wife.”

the group of men turn their heads along with you to see megumi. his expression is shrouded with a mixture of anger and frustration. you blink in confusion—megumi usually looks pretty pissed off, but this is the most angry you’ve seen him in a while. and ‘wife’? what’s up with that?

“oh, my bad,” the man chuckles. “didn’t know this pretty thing was married.”

“this ‘pretty thing’ wants you to let her go,” you say with an overly sweet smile. your teeth clench and you hiss, “right now.”

the guy scurries down the sidewalk with his buddies trailing along, making fun of him for hitting on a married woman. nobody mentions the lack of a ring on your finger. nobody mentions the lack of a relationship, either.

“wife?” you scowl. “we’re broken up.”

“guys tend to back up when they know a woman is married. it’s the only way you can really, uh, get them to go away around here.”

you glare at him. “and how would you know? you come here often with girls?”

“...no?” he blinks, unable to comprehend your sudden burst of jealousy. “i sometimes get missions around here, though. pretending to be married was the easiest way—”

“we aren’t, though. we’re not even in a relationship.” you seem to be throwing that into his face a lot more than you should. you can’t help it, though. you still feel a little bitter about not getting a real reason as to why megumi wanted to break up.

“i was trying to help you.” he’s calm and collected, as heard through his voice. he walks up to you and takes your freezing hand into his much warmer ones. “let’s go home.”

“i don’t want to,” you argue.

“stop being a brat,” he says, but there’s no bite to his words. “you’re cold and you’ve been out here all day. if i hadn’t stopped those guys, you probably would’ve beat them up pretty badly.”

“i’m not a fucking brat!” you try to retract your hand, but megumi’s grip only tightens.

“baby, stop,” the pet name rolls off his tongue with ease. megumi sighs softly and pulls you to his chest. “why are you so worked up, hm?”

from the way he speaks, you can tell that he already has an inkling. the breakup. cuddling last night. hugging you now. everything.

you don’t realize you’re crying until he gently wipes his thumb under your eye. he has the audacity to have an amused grin plastered on his stupidly pretty lips. your vision is blurry but if it hadn’t been, you would’ve thrown a punch.

“i’m sorry,” he whispers into your hair. “it’s all my fault.”

“it is,” you whimper pathetically. all the tears and the emotions you’ve been holding back bubble up to the surface.

“don’t be upset,” he almost pleads. “let’s go back, okay?”

the night ends with megumi on the couch. neither of you bring up the argument or the fact that he had slept in your bed with you last night. you two don’t talk about the usage of pet names, either.

when you open your eyes on december 22nd, you’re surprised to see that megumi has already headed out for the day. you click your tongue in annoyance—he’s always been good at avoiding his problems when it comes to dealing with them, especially problems involving his emotions. you already know where you’re supposed to be headed, so you suppose that it’s for the best that he’d left before you.

the shopping mall is a long line of vendors and stores among other things. the snow on the ground is fresh—it must’ve snowed late last night after you’d fallen asleep. it crunches underneath your beat-up sneakers with each step you take. you’re not shocked when you end up wandering aimlessly, dipping in and out of stores with no real urgency to finish your mission.

there’s nothing to do anyway.

you’ve killed about 3 curses total and it’s really starting to look like you’ve been sent out here for busy work. you really should’ve figured that out the first day of the mission when you had to practically beg the curses to come out and fight you.

you find yourself in the front of a jewelry store, eyeing a pretty bracelet that you know would look stunning around megumi’s wrist. it’s one of those bracelets that clasp tightly. there’s a thicker band in the center with pretty carvings that seem to resemble some sort of swirly heart. it’s pretty, you have to admit.

without much thought, you buy the gift.

the seller has to clear her throat to get your attention when you don’t answer her question. “um, would you like this to be wrapped?”

you nod absentmindedly. “oh, yes. sorry. please wrap it.”

she nods in return and proceeds to wrap the bracelet in a tiny box, adorning it with a festive bow. you ask her to change it out for a different color, explaining that it isn’t a christmas gift and instead, it’s for someone’s birthday. she offers you a warm smile before switching it with a muted blue ribbon.

you return to the hotel, having to take an expensive taxi. you don’t mind—the bracelet has already made a decent-sized dent in your wallet. why not spend an extra amount on getting home? it’s not like jujutsu sorcerers are paid poorly.

reality hits you when you finally get back to the hotel room. you want to punch yourself for being so stupid. did you really just buy a birthday present for your ex-boyfriend?

you’re thankful that megumi hasn’t arrived yet. he seems to be determined to avoid you for as long as he can. you can’t blame him, either. you did give him quite a hard time yesterday.

you toss the box on to the dresser and head to the bathroom to splash some much needed cold water on to your face. maybe that’ll wake you up enough to clear your mind. you’ve acted out once during this trip already and you’re not really looking forward to any other possible outbursts.

you rinse your face and pat yourself dry with one of the face towels provided to you by the hotel staff. you hang it over the rack again and tiredly make your way to your bed. you halt your movements when you see megumi standing by the dresser, admiring your gift.

he looks up at you in surprise with the smallest grin on his face. it’s so subtle that you would’ve missed it had you not been dating him for nearly two years.

“is this for me?”

“no,” you quickly deny. his face falls and you cough out, “um, i mean.. yeah. i-i didn’t… i… happy birthday.”

he brightens, lips pulling up into a real, genuine smile. “you remembered?”

“why wouldn’t i?” you blurt gently. you bite your inner cheek to stop yourself from saying anything more.

“i dunno.” his voice is distant and low, like he’s trying to hold back his tears. “i just…i didn’t think i was deserving of a gift from you. thank you. i like it.”

you stand awkwardly, shifting your weight onto your other foot. “yeah, well…”

“can you help me put it on?” he asks, sitting at the edge of your unmade bed.

you feel your body heat up. part of you screams for you to stop. you shouldn’t do that. it’s far too intimate and you two are broken up. you’ve never been good at making decisions, though, so you sit next to him and feel the mattress dip.

he gives you a grateful look, one that you willfully ignore, and gives you his wrist. you clasp the bracelet on, fingertips just barely grazing his skin. your heart skips a beat and you have to inhale sharply before pulling away.

“thank you,” he whispers.

december 23rd is a sore reminder that life goes on. you had half-expected something to spark between you and megumi. perhaps he’d beg for you back, or maybe with less wishful thinking, he’d give you his real reason as to why he doesn’t want you anymore.

“i don’t think we need to go anymore,” megumi says when you come out of the bathroom after freshening up.

“huh? why not?”

“there’s nothing out there.” megumi’s voice is flat.

“i know, but we’ll get in trouble if we…”

“gojo probably sent us out here for fun.”

your lips part. megumi turns to you with a slight frown.

“don’t you think so too?” he asks, but you know it isn’t a question he’s looking to find an answer to. “why would the higher-ups assign a mission like this to a special grade sorcerer and a grade 1 sorcerer? if they needed that much manpower, this mission would’ve been deadlier. instead, we’re playing cleanup crew.”

“yeah, but..” you trail off, unable to think of a statement to refute his words. “if we go back now, we’ll get chewed out.”

“it’s just a scolding. you’ll be fine.” megumi stands up and stretches his arms.

you watch him cautiously as he begins to fold his clothes and throw them into his duffel bag. he doesn’t say anything else, letting the silence overtake the room.

“...are we leaving, then?” you ask meekly, not bothering to hide the slight quiver in your voice.

he pauses slightly. “do you want to stay here until christmas? this mission is stupid and you know it. there’s no point.”

why is his tone so cold all of the sudden? it’s as if you two hadn’t shared a moment last night before bed. does your gift not mean anything to him now that he’s cleared his mind with a good rest?

your eyes flicker to his wrist. the gold glimmers underneath the light and you realize that megumi doesn’t seem to hate wearing it. so why is he acting so … unpleasant?

you feel a lump in your throat. it’s embarrassing how quickly he’s able to upset you from just the tone of his voice. even his body language, usually fluid and smooth, is rigid with your presence. you want to tell him that you’ve enjoyed your time with him. you want to shake his shoulders and tell him that if you two cut your mission short, you might not get another chance to be near him again.

“do you still care about me?” you whisper instead.

he stills completely. “what?”

“this entire time,” you begin shakily, “you’ve been nice to me. you treat me like you always do. you’re always hovering over me even though you pretend you aren’t! you obviously still care, megumi.”

his adam's apple bobs as swallows. a beat of silence. then two. then three.

“i do care,” he admits sorely.

“then why did you break up with me?” you blurt. there it is, the question you’ve been meaning to ask. you both had seen it coming.

“because…” megumi winces as if he’s the one getting hurt from the ordeal. “because you deserve someone that’s normal. someone that isn’t a sorcerer. i can’t give you that life.”

you feel your chest swarm with anger. why does he always think he needs to sabotage himself to make others happy? this is something you’ve tried working with him on, but it seems like old habits are hard to kill off, just like your habit of loving him.

“why the hell would you decide that for me? when did i ever say i wanted a normal life?” you snap. your hands clench at your sides.

“it’s too early for this,” he says, his voice straining as he finally musters up the strength to look at you in your eyes.

“tell me, megumi. if that’s the real reason, then that is the most pathetic excuse for a breakup i've ever heard.” your voice cracks and you gulp down the oncoming sob that’s threatening to explode from your throat.

he inhales slowly and makes his way to you, holding you close against his chest. you should push him away, but you would rather let him hug you. you know that you can’t fight him, anyway.

“you…once said you wanted a regular relationship. when you got hurt a few weeks ago, i realized i couldn’t be that for you,” he confesses lowly. “i knew that you’d never find it in yourself to leave, so i figured i should just let you go for your sa–”

“are you kidding me?” you shout incredulously. “i said that when i was fifteen, megumi! before i even knew what being in love was like!”

he flinches against you. “but i…”

“you and your damn savior complex! i don’t need to be in a regular, normal relationship! i don’t need any of that, megumi! i’m a sorcerer, I won't ever get to be normal! in fact, it’s even better that i’m with you because you at least know what this life is like, you idiot! you’re always ruining the good things in your life because you—”

he takes his fingers to grab your chin and he pulls you in for a kiss. if the kiss is a ploy to shut you up, you hate to admit that it’s working. his tongue slips into your mouth and you melt against him. your arms loop around his neck as you desperately drag him down closer to your body. his hand grip your waist while the other clings to the small of your back.

you whimper out of instinct and he pulls away, lips bruised and breathless. it’s been so long since you’ve tasted him and you frown, tiptoeing to capture his lips again. you need to savor him, to feel him lips against yours again.

“baby, wait.” his chest heaves as he looks down at you. “don’t…don’t do this to me.”

“do what?” you ask, an edge to your voice. did he just reject you? even after all that?

“w-we gotta report back to—”

“we’re supposed to leave tomorrow,” you interrupt.

the gears shift in his head. “fine, but—”

“i’m still really fucking mad, but i just need you to kiss me right now,” you whine impatiently.

all megumi does is laugh when he swoops down to press his lips against yours.

it’s december 24th when you two find yourselves in satoru’s office. steam is practically rising from your ears as you try to compose yourself in front of your former teacher.

“... i wanted a wedding invitation.” satoru shrugs.

“you set us up!” you whine angrily. “gojo, are you serious?! isn’t this a little immature?”

megumi stays silent, averting his gaze. he suddenly finds the succulents on satoru’s desk very interesting. he’s never noticed that they’re all nearly dead! how cool.

your eyes shoot daggers at megumi's silence.

"we aren't gonna get married any time soon..." megumi mutters when he feels your pointy glare on him.

satoru raises his hands in mock surrender. “you two can’t blame me! it worked out! you two are back together now, right?”

“but did you have to make us look like fools out there?” you groan.

“you should’ve figured it out on the first day that the mission was a sham!” satoru exclaims, offense taking over his features.

“but still!” you’re borderline hysterical at this point, unable to believe that your former teacher of all people had to set up an entire fake mission so that you and your ex could talk your feelings out. “we would’ve figured ourselves out sooner or later!”

megumi nods. he feels like he should at least give you a little support even if he’s embarrassed out of his mind.

“oh really?” satoru’s voice drips with sarcasm. “you guys should be thanking me—”

“you’re so not getting an invitation to our wedding!” you grumble.

“wha—hey! i’m the one that got you two back together! besides, i’m megumi’s guardian! you can’t just not invite me.”

“watch me!”

“megumi, tell her that she can’t do that—hey! where are you guys going? invite me, you rascals—why are you guys leaving? we aren’t done discussing this! megumi, don’t you dare take her side! she isn’t even your wife yet—don’t slam my door!”

[aspirin82]

Yesterday, I watched the Spiderverse (2023) for the third time just for Hobie Brown. And I noticed something.

Nearly all of the Spider people has red in their design, (Gwen being an exception) but since they never exist in a fully red enviroment and the way other colors are used in their design, it never looks "way too red". But hey, guess which show has characters with dominant red colors? Hazbin Hotel. So I decided to compare the way colors are used in them.

See where Im getting? In these shots, the characters always pop out from the background because of the way lighting and backgrounds are used. Yet it never looks eye straining despite the colors are very vibrant.

And another problem I wanted to talk about, in Spiderverse, the colors are used to represent emotions and they do this pretty well. The first scene where Gwen hugs her dad has a really soothing and nice vibe, which its probably how Gwen feels too at the very moment. The second scene, well I actually didnt get to watch that scene so I dont remember the context crystal clear but its when Miles gets sent to the other universe, where he gets tied to the punching bag by the other Miles. The scene is primarily red to show the danger and threat. This is how well the color red is used in Spiderverse. Its special and they saved it for these kind of scenes.

Now, for Hazbin Hotel.. Hmm, I guess the color red is special in this show too. The characters all have red, white and black in their designs with some of them having a little bit of yellow. Maybe use some cool colors to balance that like they did in Spiderverse? Or dont put your characters in red enviroments unless its necessary to show a certain emotion or mood? Its always the same tone of red used in every scene and every character, its looking bad and unorganized.

You dont need to make the Hell all red to show its Hell? If you wanna keep that, then design your characters with different colors so they can stand out from the background. Otherwise, youre gonna end up having these clustred images.

And another thing Hazbin Hotel needs to learn from Spiderverse is designing POC. Spiderverse has a really diverse cast of characters with all kinds of different personalities. It doesnt have any stereotypes unlike Hazbin and has great written poc characters like Miles, Hobie, Miguel, Jessica and so much more. ALSO surprisingly, despite Spiderverse not having any canonic queer character, with the "Protect trans kids" poster in Gwen's house, I think it also has better queer represantation than Hazbin too lol. It was pretty casual, not forced or anything stereotypical, it was just there. I just love the theory that the Peter Parker in Gwen's universe may be trans, which it makes sense for me.

So yeah folks, thats pretty much it. Thanks for coming to my TED talk.

XOXO 💋💋 HUGS!! ^_^ :3

[nadianova]

how i do my visual novel filtered photo backgrouds

ive had some questions about this so i figured i'd put together a quick post on my process and what goes into it.

this isnt really a tutorial and instead is just a ramble of how i do stuff with a ton of examples and pictures lol

read more below. this is a long post and you probably want to be looking at these images on your computer instead of your phone

step one is that i find CC0 photos or otherwise easy licenses to use because I'm lazy and don't want to have a list of credits of random photographers caue i used one of their images but also i don't want to use stuff without crediting

because they have a general lincese that just wants you to mention the site i prefer unsplash or pixabay but there's other public domain type photo sites too obviously

so like okay heres a random picture

i have a photoshop CS5 from 10 years ago. but these can be done with gimp or krita and whatever. theres even photopea that has photoshop in the browser

basic stuff is that i start by cropping my bg into my renpy resolution (i use 1920x1080) this is also the part where sometimes i might rotate a bg. it is a good way to add some chaos vibes to a scene

i tend to add some mild blur effect since i find that having too sharp photos as backgrounds clashes with the artstyle of my sprites. like just a couple pixels worth of blur tends to do it

the next part is called fuck around and find out

i like to play with the values to just get random results. hue/saturation for tinting the picture, messing with the curves to get some really sharp effects, or channel mixer to add more of a color

this part is just purely vibes based but i personally think reducing the colors of the background is the simplest way to create something that feels coherent. especially if you make backgrounds based on moods. like having a blue tinted bedroom vs a red tinted one really changes the atmosphere

you can get some pretty intense effects but its always important to remember that its meant to be a background and there's a risk it distracts from the sprites

in this case im not including the effect for the curves. after the colours look fine the final step i tend to have is apply some sort of effect.

i really like changing the colour mode to indexed colour since i like crunchy pixels. (had to zoom in to 100% to show the actual effect) downside of indexed is that it doesn't look ideal unless its displayed in the exact resolution it was made in but i like it

here is the images before indexed mode:

after indexed mode(i think you have to click the image and open it in full to see the actual effect):

another thing ive been playing with recently has been grain+chromatic aberration combo. it makes things feel surprisingly lively with just this simple thing so you'll probably see me overusing this effect in the future

you have to mess with the numbers to get the effect you want but for me these were the parameters I've been using

ignore the preview missing idk why it does that.

heres the image (the non indexed version) after these krita effects

one random special mention i have is that playing with layer blend modes is great

in this example i just copied the same background, mirrored it horizontally and set the layer blend mode to color and it lowered the layer opacity slightly. it just adds some.... idk what to call it visual noise? itj just fucks it up a bit. i used overlapping images and screen modes in some of the hopeless junction images i did for some pretty nice effects

i dont really know waht the blend modes do i just scroll until something looks good lmao

theres a ton you can do with these. like for example just adding a single air brush dot of a bright color on a separate layer and setting it to some blend mode to add a tint to a background

i used these both in malmaid and in the second one i just brushed on some color on a separate layer to give it a moodier vibe

i think having variations of the same background is an extremely easy way to add some life to the bgs without having to do new stuff. like here was the hotel lobby when entering, and here is the hotel lobby when they ran away from the place. i added a radial blur with photoshop

i think theres some beaty in artifacts that come from low resolution images too. sometimes i intentionally use images that have clear compression artifacts cause i think it looks neat. i don't really worry about the details too much as the vibe is the most important thing

its honestly just a matter of knowing these tools exist and just fidgeting around with combinations to find what you want. it also helps to look at other backgrounds or images in general that you come across and just be curious. how was this done? how could i recreate it? that's the type of experimenting that has led me to these.

idk thats all i have to say. ty for reading and play malmaid on steam like and subscribe for more gay puppies

[alicewrotethis]

𐙚ᣟ݂﹒𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐬𝐩𝐨𝐭﹒𝐩𝐭 𝟑

ㅤ۫ㅤ ˚ ۪˖𓏲﹒synopsis!! bokuto tries to make sense of his feelings, little does he know you are as well  . ㅤ ˖ㅤㅤ۫ㅤ ˚౨ cw!! timeskip! b. kotaro x astronomy tutor! reader, angst i think, atsumu and yachi feature, atsumu being horrible with advice    ﹒ ◠ note!!  looking forward to the next chapters!!!! ౨    wc!!  3.1k, wanted it to be longer but im splitting it..     ˚ ۪˖𓏲 mood!! series playlist

one / two / three

bokuto-san: Hey, not feeling great, so I'm gonna skip today, dont worry about me though! Pretty sure I got it for the test tmr, thanks for everything, btw. You're awesome!

You read it twice, then a third time, searching for something unsaid in the cheerful punctuation and easy words. A part of you wanted to believe him, he was the type to bounce back from anything, wasn't he? But there was a hollowness between the lines that you couldn't ignore.

You sighed, setting your phone down, but the weight in your chest stayed. It had lingered ever since you turned him down the night before, a gnawing guilt that you couldn't quite shake.

Why did it bother you so much? It was just a game, wasn't it? A volleyball match. You had better things to be doing. You didn't owe him anything beyond tutoring sessions, and those were transactional at best, right?

But the look on his face when you said no kept replaying in your mind. The slump of his shoulders, the way his grin faltered for just a second too long before he forced it back on. You'd hurt him, and you hated that. The logical part of you stood by your decision. You had a project due, and responsibilities to juggle.

You told yourself it was fine. He'd been improving steadily, and he probably did have a good grasp on the material by now. But his absence left the dorm unnervingly quiet.

Meanwhile, Bokuto rolled onto his side, his phone still clutched in his hand. The text stared back at him, the gray 'read' under his text practically mocking him. His jaw tightened as he thought about how easily you had dismissed the invitation, how easily you'd prioritized something else over him. He hated the feeling, he wanted to be as important to you as your project.

He wasn't actually sick. Not in the way you'd think. But after last night, the idea of sitting in your dorm and pretending everything was fine felt unbearable.

The rejection hadn't been harsh. You'd been kind and even offered to go next time, but it still stung in a way he hadn't expected. He wasn't used to feeling small. On the court, in life, he was the guy who lit up a room, who powered through anything with a grin and sheer determination. But hearing you say you couldn't make it to his game, that you had better things to do, though you didn't word it that way, it wasn't just a missed game, it was the hollow aching feeling of being pushed to the side.

He tossed his phone onto the bed with a soft thud, frustration bubbling beneath the surface. No matter how much he tried to convince himself otherwise, it hurt. It hurt more than it should have, and that gnawing emptiness didn't ease the longer he thought about it.

Bokuto sighed, staring up at the ceiling. His room felt unusually quiet, with no hum of excitement, no anticipation for Friday's game like there should have been. He hated how much this was getting to him. It wasn't like you'd done anything wrong.

What frustrated him most was that he wasn't sure why it bothered him so much, other than the obvious. He was used to people letting him down in little ways, laughing off his energy, brushing aside his invitations, saying 'maybe next time' when they really meant 'never'. But this was different. He thought you were different.

He groaned, running a hand through his hair and letting his palms rest on his cheeks, his mind replaying the way your voice had softened during your study sessions, the way your eyes lit up just slightly when he actually understood something. He thought maybe you cared, not just about the tutoring, but about him.

Bokuto's hands flew into the air dramatically and landed on the comforter with a muffled thud. His palm reached for his phone as he stared at the ceiling. The ache in his chest refused to leave, and for once, his usual methods of distracting himself, counting the specks on his ceiling, wasn't working.

With another groan he opened his contacts, his eyes landing on a name he often went to with problems, Atsumu. It wasn't because Atsumu was particularly wise (he definitely wasn't), but because Atsumu always had something to say. Usually something ridiculous enough to make Boktuo forget what he was upset about in the first place.

"Alright, Tsumu," he muttered to himself as he hit the call button, "Time to be a bro again,"

The line rang twice before Atsumu picked up with a dramatic sigh.

"Bokkun, let me guess. You've run out of hair gel, or you need me to tell ya yer the best wing spike in the world again?"

Bokuto frowned, clutching the phone tighter, "No! And that was one time!" he paused, his voice dropping slightly, "This is serious, Tsumu,"

There was a beat of silence before Atsumu said, "Alright, I'm listenin'. Hit me,"

Bokuto took a deep breath, "Okay, so... I invited my tutor, you know, the one who's been helping me to not fail, to our game, the big one, rival team, packed gym, all that stuff. I thought they'd say yes, but they said no."

Atsumu let out a low whistle, "Oof. Brutal. Did they at least give ya a reason?"

"Yeah," Bokuto muttered, "They said they had a project or something, and it's fine I get it, but... I dunno. It still sucks, you know? I thought maybe-" he cut himself off, groaning, "Never mind,"

"You thought maybe they cared as much as you do," Atsumu finished for him.

Bokuto blinked, "...Yeah,"

"Well," Atsumu began, his tone suddenly businesslike, "There's only one solution to this."

Bokuto sat up, "What is it? Should I send them flowers? Or, like, write an apology note? Or-"

"Go on a run,"

Bokuto froze, "...What?"

"A run," Atsumu repeated as if it were the most obvious solution in the world, "You're spiralin', Bokkun. Overthinkin' stuff isn't your style. Youre a doer, not a thinker. Lace up yer sneakers and run till ya can't think straight anymore. Works every time."

Bokuto frowned, his brow furrowing, "That's your advice? Go for a jog? I'm pouring my heart out here Tsumu!"

"And I'm savin' ya from yourself," Atsumu shot back, "Look, you don't have time to be mopin' over some person. We've got a big game tomorrow, yer energy's gotta be one hundred percent, or are ya plannin' to let me carry the team?"

Boktuo bristled at that, his competitive streak instantly flaring up. "Hey! I'm not gonna let you carry anything. I'm fired up for the game!"

"Then prove it," Atsumu said smugly, "Get your head back in the game, Bokkun. A run'll clear yer brain, shake out all that weird energy, and remind ya what actually matters. And what matters is crushin' our opponents, not daydreamin' about someone who isn't even showin' up."

Boktuo opened his mouth to argue but found himself deflating slightly. Atsumu wasn't entirely wrong. The game was huge, and his team was counting on him. He couldn't afford to be distracted.

"Fine," Bokuto muttered, dragging himself off his bed, "But if this doesn't work, I'm calling you back,"

Atsumu snorted, "You always call. Now go run like yer chasin' a win, Bokkun. And try not to overthink while yer at it."

Bokuto grumbled as he made his way to his closet, "Why do I even call you anymore?"

"'Cause I'm a genius," Atsumu replied smoothly, "Good luck, and don't trip!"

With an annoyed groan, Bokuto hung up and tossed his phone onto the bed with a sigh, rubbing the back of his neck as Atsumu's words echoed in his head, 'crushin' our opponents, not daydreamin' about someone who isn't even showin' up.' Harsh, maybe, but Atsumu had a knack for cutting through the noise.

He crouched down to rummage through his closet, pulling out a pair of running shoes. His fingers paused over the laces, thoughts swirling despite his best efforts to shut them down. Atsumu wasn't wrong, he always knew how to hit Bokuto where it hurt, but it was for his own good, right?

Still, the reminder stung. Bokuto wasn't used to this feeling, this hollow weight in his chest. Normally he was unstoppable. Bright, bold, unshakable. But the idea of someone not wanting to be part of his world, even for as something as simple as a game, gnawed at him in a way he couldn't explain. He shook his head and muttered to himself. "Stop being dramatic, Bokuto. It's just a game, and it's just one person."

But that wasn't entirely true, was it? He grabbed a hoodie and pulled it over his head, glancing at the mirror out of habit. His reflection stared back, looking just as off as he felt. It wasn't just a game, it was the game, the one he'd been hyped for since he heard about it. And it wasn't just one person, it was you. The one person who'd been patient when he struggled with concepts, who actually listened when he rambled, who filled the quiet moments with a sense of presence that made them anything but empty.

As stared at himself, Atsumu's other words came rushing back. 'Yer spiralin', Bokkun. Ovethinkin' stuff isn't your style. Yer a doer, not a thinker.'

Bokuto huffed out a laugh, half annoyed, half grateful. Atsumu had a point. Thinking wasn't his strong suit, it never had been. When something felt off, he didn't analyze it; he fixed it. When things were tough, he powered through. But what was he supposed to do now? You weren't a problem he could solve, and he couldn't just barrel into your dorm and demand that you care about the game as much as he did, care about him as much as he cared for you.

The fabric of the hoodie sat uncomfortably against his skin in the warmth of his room. Maybe that's what was bothering him the most; the realization that he couldn't make you care. He couldn't make you want to come. That had to come from you.

As he grabbed his earbuds and headed for the door, Bokuto clenched his fists, trying to shake off the tightness in his chest. Atsumu was right. A run would clear his head. He just needed to focus on the game, his team, and the roar of the crowd.

But even as he stepped outside and started jogging down the sidewalk, the cool night air brushing against his cheeks, one thought kept creeping back in. What if, no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't stop caring about someone who didn't care back? After the test, you will be out of his life.

He picked up his pace, pushing himself harder. The rhythm of his steps pounded against the pavement, a slight contrast to the music in his ears. He didn't want to think anymore, not about the game, not about you, not about how much he'd hoped to see you in the stand, even just once, and definitely not about how he would probably never see you again.

Bokuto slowed to a stop, his breath clouding the crisp night air as he leaned forward, hands braced on his knees. His heart pounded in his chest, not just from the run but from the restless thoughts he'd been trying to outrun. He straightened, wiping his damp forehead with his sleeve, and glanced upward.

The stars stretched out endlessly, tiny lights scattered across the vast, dark canvas. He stared at them, searching for anything familiar, and then he saw it. Orion's Belt. Three stars lined up in perfect harmony, just as you'd described.

A faint smile tugged at his lips. "Found it," he murmured, his voice almost lost in the quiet. He could hear your voice in his head, patiently guiding him through constellations on that late-night call. He'd been so excited then, almost giddy when he'd finally spotted it. Now, the memory felt bittersweet.

He sighed, letting his gaze linger on the stars. You were under this same sky. The thought crept in uninvited, a whisper he couldn't ignore. Were you looking at the stars, too? Or were you buried in papers, completely unaware of how much space you were taking up in his mind?

Bokuto let out a small, humorless laugh, "What am I doing?" he muttered to himself. The stars didn't have answers. They just sat there, shining quietly, indifferent to the questions swirling in his chest.

The night stretched on, restless and heavy. You had tried to focus, burying yourself in the pile of notes and textbooks spread across your desk, but the words blurred together into meaningless shapes. Your thoughts kept circling back to the same place, or rather, the same person.

You sighed, dragging a hand through your hair as you stood and began pacing. You hated this feeling. It was uncomfortable, unfamiliar, like a knot you couldn't untangle. Why did it bother you so much? Why did the thought of him sitting somewhere, hurt or upset, gnaw at you in a way you couldn't ignore?

You prided yourself on being the kind of person who could deal with things on your own. You didn't need help sorting out your feelings, or at least, that's what you always told yourself. Asking for help meant admitting you didn't have everything under control, and that was something you hated doing.

But this? This felt different. No matter how hard you tried you couldn't sort through the swirling mess in your head on your own.

Your gaze drifted to your phone sitting on the nightstand. One name popped into your mind, Yachi. She was thoughtful, steady, the kind of person who could make sense of things you couldn't. You hesitated, staring at the phone as if it might leap up and solve your problem for you.

What if she thought you were being ridiculous? What if she didn't have an answer? Or worse, what if she did, and you didn't like it?

Your chest tightened, and for a moment, you considered pushing the thought away, pretending this confusion didn't exist. But the weight inside you wouldn't budge.

Finally, with a resigned sigh, you grabbed the phone and dialed.

"Hello?" Yachi's voice came through after the second ring, light and friendly, just as you expected.

"Hey," you said, sitting on the edge of your bed. Your voice sounded small. uncertain, "Can I talk to you about something?"

"Of course," she replied immediately, her tone warm and inviting. "What's going on?"

You hesitated, picking at the fabric of your blanket. "It's Bokuto-san," you admitted finally. "I think I messed up. I told him I couldn't go to his game, and now... I don't know. He hasn't come to study, and I feel..." you trailed off, struggling to find the words. "I feel bad. Really bad. But I don't know why it's bothering me this much."

Yachi hummed thoughtfully on the other end. "Why do you think it's bothering you?"

"I dont know!" you burst out, the frustration bubbling over. "I mean, I care, obviously. But it's just tutoring, right? That's all it's supposed to be. So why does it feel like... like it's more than that?"

Yachi's voice was gentle when she responded. "Maybe it's because you care about him more than you thought."

Your stomach flipped. "No," you said quickly, then hesitated. "I mean... I don't know. He's just... He's Bokuto. He's loud and annoying, and he never sits still. He's the complete opposite of me! But he's also... he's kind. And funny. And," you stopped, heat creeping up your neck as you realized where your thoughts were going. "And I like having him around."

"That's not a bad thing," Yachi said softly.

You pressed your lips together, the truth of her words making your chest feel tight. "I... I should go," you said abruptly, your voice sounding distant to even yourself.

Yachi paused for a beat, then replied, "Okay. But hey, don't overthink it too much, alright? Just... be honest with yourself."

"Yeah," you murmured, even though you weren't sure how to do that. "Thanks, Yachi."

"Anytime," she said warmly. "Goodnight."

You hung up, dropping the phone onto your bed and staring at the ceiling. The room felt too quiet now, the silence pressing in around you. Yachi's words replayed in your mind like a song stuck on loop.

'Maybe it's because you care about him more than you think'

Your chest tightened again, and you rolled onto your side, tucking your knees to your chest. Did you care about him more than you thought? That seemed impossible. It was just tutoring, wasn't it? Helping him study so he could pass a test, so he could play volleyball, so he could...

Your train of thought faltered, and you say up abruptly, shaking your head. This was ridiculous. Bokuto was loud, chaotic, the kind of person who threw you off balance without even trying. You couldn't possibly-

But then why did the thought of him now showing up tonight feel like something was missing? Why did you keep picturing the way his face fell when you told him no, or the excitement in his voice when he'd invited you to the game?

Your gaze drifted to the window, where the night sky stretched endlessly. Stars glittered against the inky blackness, their light steady and unwavering. Orion's Belt caught your eye, its familiar formation somehow comforting.

You leaned your forehead against the cool glass, staring at the constellation. Somewhere under the same sky, Bokuto was out there. Maybe he was looking at these same stars, his thoughts as tangled as yours. The image made your chest ache, a strange mix of longing and uncertainty.

What would he think if he knew how much space he was taking up in your head right now?

The thought of him being hurt by your rejection crept in again, sharp and unwelcome. You hadn't meant to hurt him. You didn't even know why you'd said no in the first place other than your excuse. Maybe it was fear, fear of getting closer, fear of caring too much, fear of letting someone like him, someone so open and bright, into the quieter corners of your life.

But that fear hadn't stopped you from caring. It hadn't stopped you from missing him tonight or from wondering if you'd made a mistake.

You sighed, your breath fogging up the glass. The stars blurred for a moment, and you wiped the fog away, your fingers trailing against the cool surface.

'Maybe it's because you care about him more than you thought'

Yachi's words echoed again, and this time, you didn't push them away.

navigation ! tag list ! i cant reply to comments :(

one / two / three

© 𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐂𝐄𝐖𝐑𝐎𝐓𝐄𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐒 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟒 ─ please don't copy, translate, or post any of my work without my permission !

tags: @strwbivy

[themotherofhorses]

paloma: first meeting

— simon "ghost" riley x oc!silentdove reyes.

summary: he's not annoyed, per se, but ghost is just not really in the mood to chit-chat with the american airman scurrying around the base. at best, he tolerates them.

(or the first exchange between ghost and his montanan woman.)

warnings: none, aside from explicit language.

note: okay, so despite this being an obvious OC-insert series, i invite anyone and everyone to read it :D this is actually my first time tackling an OC-insert fanfic (as well as writing ghost) so im still trying to get the rhythm of things.

dividers by: @saradika

paloma (masterlist) | main masterlist

[2021] 

Simon Riley won’t ever admit it — never aloud, anyway — but every time he steps foot on American soil, he feels more akin to a wolf draped in sheep’s clothing. 

In his mind, he sticks out like a sore thumb. He is not a hero, really; unlike the lot teetering around the military base he is currently stationed at for the next five or so weeks, he is less flesh and blood, and more a phantom. Or something along those lines. Actually, that could explain why there is such little traffic aimed his way. But he doesn’t particularly care. His schedule lacks the room to voice any complaints. 

Right now, his main concern is doing his job, and doing it right. 

Two weeks back, Price had him fishing out his passport tucked away inside his bedside table. “Fancy a two month getaway to the States?” Great Falls, Montana, to be exact. High west, nearing the border of Canada, and surrounded by land he’s only ever seen in those silly ass spaghetti western movies. 

The view is nice, he’ll admit. Beautiful, even. Exhilarating. He now understands why they refer to Montana as “Big Sky Country.” 

Malmstrom is much smaller than he imagined, and homier too. The Air Force base is nestled within the city’s east side, offering its own museum and park. He’s quite grateful for the latter; the trails allow for his nighttime walks when the nightmares prove too shitty to sleep. 

Great Falls is pretty as well. Price would like it, maybe Garrick too. He knows the two are big on history, and almost every inch of the city is drenched with some memory belonging to the old frontier days. 

Upon arriving, the yanks provided him with his own private office, housed in the back of the 341st logistics readiness squadron. It’s nothin’ fancy, really, just a wee room furnished with a dark mahogany desk, two windows, a steel cabinet, the Montana flag to his left, and the American to his right. 

Again, he’s not one to complain. Something’s something. 

Earlier, one of the higher-up airmen, a Staff Sergeant Benson (he believes is the name), had handed him a folder jam-packed with a shit ton of mission statements — logistics, strategic planning, reports of previous global concerns, and reviews of the base’s Minuteman III intercontinental ballistic missile. All the documents are dated in a time range varying between two months ago to 0800 this morning. 

In the back of his mind, he can already hear Price chuckling.

“Have fun, Simon.”

Bloody bastard. 

So now, Ghost sits hunched over the desk, feeling a little too damn big for it. All the paperwork is strewn about messily around him, with sticky notes, a pen, and some other random shit of his. No one has yet to visit him; until that happens, he feels little need to remain organized. 

His boot taps against the floor. “—Initial efforts to clean polychlorinated biphenyls (PCBs) from launch facilities at Malmstrom AFB are ongoing but seeing success…” Ghost reads under his breath. PCBs? That’s nice to hear.

“...after PCBs were detected on surfaces in launch facilities at all three of the command’s missile wings.” 

PCBs. Polychlorinated biphenyls — man-made and highly toxic, consisting of carbon, hydrogen, and chlorine atoms. He clicks his tongue, shaking his head as he flips onto the next page.

“We know they’re present on what appears to be otherwise pristine surfaces, due to the survey—” 

—a sudden knock interrupts his reading. 

With a curse on his tongue, Ghost sets down the report. He quicks a sneaking glance at his watch. 1342 hours. He’s due in a meeting at 1700. 

“Come in.” His voice sounds low and raspy, the two words sounding more like a growl than a greeting. He’s not annoyed, per se, but Ghost is just not really in the mood to chit-chat with the American airmen scurrying around the base. At best, he tolerates them.

(In his mind, they’re all little Graves, ready to stir up a headache.) 

The door slowly cracks open.

“Lieutenant Riley?” A female voice calls out — soft and cautious; Ghost’s chin drops against his knuckles. “Apologies for the disruption, sir, but I have some additional paperwork I need to drop off with you, at the request of my superior.” He grunts, and the airman then steps into his office, quickly shutting the door behind her before meeting his eyes. 

It is entirely unlike him, Ghost knows, but his brain almost short-circuits right then and there. Two dark brown eyes, framed by thick lashes, peering up at him. Shit. He’d always thought brown was such a pretty eye color on a woman, but hers stretched further across common compliments. 

Both of  ‘em — they held no animosity, no uneasiness or fear, nothing. 

That, itself, is quite fucking bizarre. He’s not used to that.

Ghost is .... well, Ghost. He knows the mask he is always donning on his face isn't exactly a sign of welcomeness. Just his mere presence is enough to startle the living shit out of rookies, baby recruits, wide-eyed sergeants, and the like. There is something inherently unnerving when you are unable to get a good reading of the person you're standing across from.

She’s brave, he thinks. Or merely oblivious to who he is. 

“Here you go, sir,” the airman says while placing the packet of new documents down on his desk. Her lips are shaped prettily, plump and shining with a fresh layer of gloss, and across her nose is a splatter of faint freckles. Under a different circumstance, maybe he would’ve taken the time to try and count them all.

Ghost swallows hard, incapable (for what feels like the first time in his life) of mustering up an appropriate reply. “Ah, thank you, ma’am.” 

The airman's brow lifts.

“Reyes,” she then corrects him with a kind smile, gesturing to the name badge sitting above her right chest pocket. Sure enough, in bold military lettering, reads Reyes. “My name is Senior Airman SilentDove Reyes. I am actually a cryptologic linguist analyst here on base; but sometimes I run errands for others, when not needed for a translation, of course.”

There is a slight chirp in her voice that Ghost picks up, along with the way she casually rocks back and forth on her feet. She seems awfully young, no older than 22, possibly 23, but even that's cutting it; a kid, compared to him. Maybe 5'7, with dark hair pulled back into two tight braids that fall at her belted waistline.

A stark contrast compared to him.

He's oddly curious now — about her age and first name and those long braids and why she stands before him, calm, collected, and sure — but he knows damn well this is not the time nor place for any questions. Both of them are on the clock, and it is likely she’ll need to report back to her supervisor soon. 

He offers her a curt nod. “Well, thank you again, Reyes,” he states, keeping his voice flat. 

“You are welcome, sir.” She turns to leave, but when her hand latches onto the doorknob, Reyes glances over her shoulder at him, “—oh, and Lieutenant? If you need anything, please don’t hesitate to ask.” 

“I’ll keep that in mind.” 

–

The successful cleaning came after a bioenvironmental team at Malmstrom AFB …. Malmstrom AFB .. consulted with engineers and ….. and medical experts on the cleaning …. cleaning processes and– 

–and agents most likely to effectively remove the chemicals…. 

He knows his mind is wandering off, in desperate search of that pretty senior airman from fifteen minutes ago. “Bloody fucking hell,” Ghost grumbles, leaning back in his chair. His head lolls back as he blinks upward, studying the ceiling overhead. The texture is popcorn, a creamy color, with a simple fan jutting down. One light bulb, probably a recent replacement. 

Fuck. He doesn’t need this shit. Not one bit. 

Five more weeks and he’ll be gone from here. 

Ghost rechecks his watch, feeling a bit peeved at the time. 1411. He has several more hours until he can leave all this work shit behind for the evening, and maybe catch a short walk before hunkering down for the night. He doesn’t like sitting down for too long; it causes him to become restless. Agitated. Overthinking.

He doesn’t want distractions. He doesn’t need ‘em. Distractions ruin work ethic; clouding up the mind while fucking up all sense of responsibility. Price will have his ass if he – somehow – becomes compromised. And he'll never hear the end of it from Johnny. 

Settling back into the paperwork, he decides that he won’t allow himself another second thinking about all that – the American airman and her pretty brown eyes and high cheekbones and first name. 

Something tells him that’s easier said than done. 

[zooliminology]

Hey ! Love the art!!! Was wondering if you can share your painting process or your creative process!! In love with how you paint! ❤️ 💙 💜 💖 💗

[Sure! Also, I just realized that using brackets would be easier to differentiate when I'm 'in character' so I guess i'll type like this and a little more freely for non-in-universe asks from now on.

I'm not really sure how to describe my creative process because it can differentiate between each drawing and sometimes the process is really stupid

I'll usually come up with a creature or environment first. I'm inspired by a lot of roblox games like the liminality zone, and @thatonegaycactus has also given me an amount of great creature ideas a few of which i still need to get to. But Golbo was inspired by that one image of the deflated horse if you know it

Coming up with the goobers first is even variable then, either I'll draw it out beforehand or have a good idea of how to put it into a drawing, but once I've came up with the creature as I was drawing the actual drawing (not good!)

I also like to utilize Minecraft when drawing because otherwise trying to do geometry/interior perspective is a great pain and I'm not particularly great at drawing straight lines.

Here's a timelapse saved from my program to hopefully give a better idea of how I draw bc honestly im not great at explaining my processes. Especially because they uh... change with my mood and what I'm trying to do]

[For Golbo I've drawn a concept of him beforehand, and you can see me momentarily pull up a stock image for a split second before deciding to go with minecraft lol, the start of the trend.

You can also see me do the thing in black and white first which helps with the values. But as you can see.... the thing that took the longest was the grass. Despite this being the most popular zooliminology entry, it was by far the most annoying one to draw LOL. but i've been told the extra effort is visible

You can also see in the newest one I'm trying to draw (exclusive sneak peek time) I'm still using minecraft lol

But I guess fun fact about the one I'm working on as of 1/6/24, this idea LITERALLY came to me in a dream]

[xephia]

Hi, i hope this question doesn't bothers you, do you have any videos of your process?, im currently starting to learn how to do digital art and have trouble knowing where to start and what to do (im always like, should i start drawing this part first?, is it better to do clean lineart or just paint over the sketch?, do i work on the lights first or the shadows?, etc)

I can probs make you a video on this at some point based on something I'm currently working on, although I have a few on my tiktok already (@ xephia) if that helps!

My process is a bit messier than many other artists - I alternate between stages of sketch and colour before I even think about ‘final colour’. I’ll start with a sketch like the ones below, then slap some rough colour on. This is because IMO colour is an important part of the composition so I want to see what works before I line. They’re not meant to be pretty or social media ready. This stage can look super messy or tidy depending on how I feel or how complicated it is. And they can look wildly different; here’s some examples:

That stage also helps me decide if I want to finish the piece or if I should abandon it (I abandon a lot). Sometimes this stage takes 15min, sometimes 2 hours, it really depends on the piece. But for me personally, it’s crucial because otherwise I find it very hard to envision how it will look later, or forget what I was planning.

Then, I do at least one more layer of ‘sketch line art’, which is basically a first layer of line art to see what works and what needs changing. I colour the important bits relatively cleanly (usually character/s) and add might some subtle shadows/gradients and/or lighting to get a feel of what it will look like finished. Sometimes I repeat this process a couple of times if I’m not happy with how the first iteration looked. This stage usually looks a little like this character sheet I’m working on, and this slice from a Kiki delivery service sketch:

It’s usually not until I’ve done all that, that I go over and do the final lineart, making it thicker, colouring the lines, redoing the flat colours, tidying it up, and adjusting where needed. Essentially I don’t start ‘finishing’ a piece until I’m happy with where everything sits and what colours I’ve picked. It’s only at this point I feel like the sketch is ready to line, and lining and final colouring can actually take less time for me than all those layers of planning somehow haha.

At this point I keep tidying, cleaning, lining, colouring, until the piece feels complete. Sometimes complete for one piece is tidier than complete for another, it really depends.

I’ll also use Procreate’s push tool to adjust things as I go in all steps - it saves a lot of time and isn’t cheating.

Although as you can probably tell from my examples, I do change this procress up a lot depending on the piece! Sometimes I’ll even paint over parts of my final piece like I did in this magical girl street. I think find whatever works for you, everyone will work differently and things like mood, energy levels, how patient you feel, how stressed you are, if you have any hand pain or shaking, and how much free time you have that day to draw can all affect your process day to day, week to week.

Some days it will be easier and more comfortable to sketch messily, other days tidier. Some days you will draw well, other days not well at all. At least for me, I find consistency almost impossible.

So I think there's no right or wrong order to do things and it's great to switch it up and keep things interesting for yourself, and different processes work for different people. Hope this helps!

[goodluckclove]

I was really motivated to start my book but it actually made my mood worst... I feel like it's just never good enough and because it's ocs nobody will care.

I feel that way about ocs in general. I feel like the only one who create them without using them as self insert

I can't draw so I feel invisible when everyone's like "show me your ocs". As writers, we are never thought about when it come to this.

I have a lot to say about this. I'll try not to get too intense haha!

So first off I absolutely do not like the use of the term OC outside of a fandom setting. I understand why people use it, and it technically works, but at the same time it's also more than a little silly. Like imagine Homer talking like this about his "OC Odysseus". Like from what I know, OCs are called as such because they're additions to an existing fandom. It's Doctor Who's sexy uncle, or the third Winchester Brother who actually thinks ghosts are dumb and works at Best Buy. You don't want people reading the fic and wondering how they missed The Dentist, who Ubers instead of riding in a TARDIS, so you clarify he's an OC.

But if you're writing your own canon, all your characters are original. Your locations, your story, every single line of dialogue is your hands and your brain. That's a hefty load to carry! You don't need to clarify that they're original characters in your fully original work. They're just your characters, from your story. Be proud of that!

And onto something else that might be a little hard to hear: self-inserts aren't always a bad thing. In my own personal dictionary people use self-insert to describe a character that the reader could use as a power fantasy. Most of the protagonists of your average isekai anime are self-inserts. They're really strong and powerful and cool and awesome and everyone wants to kiss them on the mouth.

But if your character is a self-insert in the sense of a character being like the writer? That's fine. In a lot of cases that's actually really good and a great way to create someone you and the reader can relate to. All of my characters are self-inserts in some sense of the word and because I connect to them in an honest way other people can too.

Also you can just talk about your characters. Pretend everyone already knows about them! Im at the third act of the second book in my series and I've been happily dropping lore and facts and updates about characters maybe four people recognize. Do people hate it? I don't know! I think it's fun! I commit to the bit so hard and it's so nice when people want to come along but it does not stop me otherwise!

Long story short: be nicer to your characters. They're trying hard to exist and tell a story and you don't need to search for reasons to keep them in the shadows. Don't bother judging the types of characters other writers make because you're not writing their story and theyre not writing yours. If you work hard and you put your stuff out there you'll eventually find an audience to appreciate it!

Most of literature is "OCs"! You're contributing to literature! Take yourself more seriously! Tell us about your characters!

[radation]

Can you do ler!venner + lee!velvet and put her in a real bad lee mood, having to admitting she wants to be tickled and to tickle her.

FREAKING YESS!!! IDK IF IM THE FIRST TO MAKE A FIC ABT VELVET AND VENEER BUT YESSS!!!!!

Tickly day for vel.

It was a normal day in mount rageous, the twins had an interview they were expecting in a few days time so they were warming up. Veneer was in his room, talking to himself about what the interviewer could ask and what he could respond with.

However, velvet was on her bed, trying her best to concentrate but just couldn’t get the feeling of wanting to be tickled out of her head, making her blush. Velvet sometimes hated to be tickled but she did have occasions where she did want them, she was on her bed huffing and puffing.

“Come on velvet! Focus! Now, the interviewer could say something like “what are your goals after becoming famous popstars” and I could say “oh well we….we uhm…ugh! Come on velvet!”

she spent like 2 hours trying to get her crap together but no matter what, she couldn’t shake the whole “wanting to be tickled” thing. So she had no choice but to go to her brother.

she opened the door to find her brother pacing around the room talking to himself.

Veneer: yes, I do have a jetpack but it’s- oh hey velvet!

*he greeted her with a smile*

Velvet: h-hey, *she waved awkwardly as the blush on her face grew*

*a moment of silence was casted upon them*

Veneer: you okay?-

Velvet: oh yeah I’m great! Totally fine! A-are you? *she sat on his bed with an awkward smile*

*he sighed and sat next to her*

Veneer: are you sure you’re okay sis…? You know can tell me about anything right?

That comment made her even more flustered, she sighed, she wanted to tell her brother but couldnt bring herself to do it.

Velvet: yeah well uhm…can you…

Veneer: hm? *he smiled softly*

Velvet: can you…c-call crimp yeah call crimp!

Veneer: uhh…she’s on her holiday?

Velvet: right…

Veneer: velvet, what’s really going on? You know I’ll never judge you. *he placed a hand on her shoulder and gave her a reassuring look*

Velvet: uhm…can you do…that one thing?

Veneer: w-what thing…? *he gave her a puzzled look*

Velvet: ugh! Like… *her face got even more red* like you know! *she wiggles her fingers* that!

Veneer: vel, how on mount rageous am I supposed to know what this *he mocked her as he said the word “this”* is??

Velvet:…right…*her face flushed* well veneer, do you know how siblings bond?

Veneer: oh yeah! They can bond in many ways! Hanging out, playing, wrestling, teasing, tickling-

Velvet: THAT! *she pointed*

*veneer jumped*

Veneer: what…?

Velvet: sorry, that what you just said.

Veneer: tickling?

Velvet: *her face flushed* mhm, that.

*veneer seemed puzzled*

Veneer: what about tickling?

Velvet: can you….uhm…can you…do…ugh! *she buried her face* never mind.

*veneer took a second to realize*

Veneer: ohhhh!!! *he smirked* oh velvet, my dear sister, enlighten me, what is it do you wish for.

*velvet knows that when veneer starts speaking Shakespeare that means he is teasing her*

Velvet: veneer I swear!

Veneer: oh no, if you want me to tickle you, admit it.

Velvet: *her face is blushing really hard* but you know I can’t and what I want!!

Veneer: i know you can and i know I do, but Ofcourse, you have to admit it so I can be sure~

Velvet: veneer!

Veneer: velvet~

Velvet: ugh I hate you!

Veneer: aw come on! Just say it~

Velvet: veneer! *she whined*

Veneer: come on~ otherwise no tickling.

Velvet: ugh…can you…

*veneer watched with a smirk*

Velvet: can you….t-t…ti…ckle…me… *she mumbled*

Veneer: can’t hear ya. *he placed his hand on her his ear*

Velvet: ugh! Can you…

*veneer waited with a smug look on his face*

Velvet: tickle…me…

Veneer: there it is! Come here. *he giggled and pulled her close and began tickling her stomach*

*velvet yelped and tried her best not to squirm too much*

Velvet: veheneher!

Veneer: hm? This is what you wanted isn’t it?~

Velvet: yehehah buhut

Veneer: so shush. *he chuckled and kept tickling her stomach*

Velvet: *squeal* BAHAHAHAH! VEHENEHEHR!!!

*veneer began massaging her hips*

Veneer: what?! I’m just massaging! *he giggled as he spoke*

*velvet began thrashing around squirmed*

Velvet: YOHOU KNOHOW WHAHAT YOHOHURE DOHOIHING!!

Veneer: oh shut up vel! You like it and that’s that. *he teased with a smirk*

Velvet: NOHOHO VEHENEHEHR!! HAHAHH!

*she laughed and squirmed on the bed, veneer quickly pinned her and used his free hand to tickle her armpits, ripping a squeal out of her*

Velvet: NOHOHO!! HAHAHAHAH! VHENEHR! IHI- HAHAHHA! *she tried to enjoy it but since it was a sensitive spot for her, she couldn’t help but try her best to lower her arms*

Veneer: there we go! Now we are getting all the spots, aye vel?~

Velvet: SHUHUT UHUP!!

Veneer: oh but you like this hm?~

*velvet just kept laughing and tried her best not to squirm, she didn’t wanna admit it just yet but she really was enjoying it*

*veneer let her go but straddled her and sat on her thighs*

Veneer: now let’s see if your sides want a little tickle as well hm vel? *he raised his eyebrow with a smirk and began massaging and tickling her sides*

Velvet: *squeal* vehenehher! HaheHAHAH!!

Veneer: that’s my name~

*he noticed she was trying everything to not push him away, he smiled softly and just kept up his act*

Velvet: it tiihicklehes!!! Hehahahah!

Veneer: well I hope it does? *he chuckled, he let go of her and began tickling her thighs*

Veneer: I know I did your hips but we can’t forget these sensitive guys right here~

Velvet: Eep! Vehenehehr! EhhaHAHAHAH! StohoOHOHOP! *both velvet and veneer knew that was a lie*

Veneer: nah, I’ll keep going, these little thighs won’t tickle themselves you know? *he chuckled and kept it up*

If you did not know, velvet’s face was so red that if someone didn’t know the context of the situation, they would’ve mistaken her for a cherry.

*veneer smirked*

Veneer: you sure seem pretty red vel, you okay? *he teased and without warning, dug his fingers behind her knees and tickled her all over and around her knees*

Velvet: *yelp* venHEHEHR! NohoOHOT therHHEHEHRE!! *soon tears began to form in her eyes from laughter*

Veneer: not where? Oh not here? Hmm…nah, I’m good here thanks. *he kept it up, he had a good grip while velvet kicked, she really hated how she tried to stop him even though she wants this*

Veneer: oh let’s not forget about this little place right…. *he wrapped his arm around her ankles and began tickling her feet using his free hand* here!

*velvet screamed*

Velvet: VEHENEHEHR! NOHOHOHO!! *she squirmed as her clenched her fist and hit the bed*

Veneer: veneer yes~

*velvet’s face just got redder by every tease he could give*

Velvet: EHEHNOOHOUHGH! STOHOHOP!!

Veneer: but whyyyyy???~

Velvet: STAHAHHAP! IHIH BAHAHAHAHAH!!!

Veneer: hmm…no.

Velvet: PLEHAHAHSE!! *she tapped him to let him know she has had enough*

*he giggled and let her go*

Veneer: oh one more thing!

Velvet: *she panted* h-huh…?

*he blew a raspberry on her stomach*

*velvet screamed hard*

Velvet: NOHOHO!! VEHE-HAHAHHAAHHA!

*velvet threw her head back laughing as she arched her back and tried to push his head away, soon going into a silent laughter, now she really had enough. Veneer quickly stopped and giggled*

Velvet: oh god….that was….unnecessary!

Veneer: but it was worth it. *he smirked and rubbed her stomach to get rid of those ghostly tickles*

*soon velvet managed to compose herself, she had a small tint of pink on her cheeks as she gained control of her breathing and adjusted herself*

Velvet: veneer…?

Veneer: yeah sis?

Velvet: thank you, I know I can be a bit bossy at times but…I really do love you and I wouldn’t switch you for any other brother in the world, I’m so glad we don’t judge each other and we are always there for each other, and we always will be. *she smiled softly and hugged her brother*

*veneer smiled softly and hugged his sister*

Veneer: I love you vel.

Velvet: I love you too ven.

~the end~

Hope yall enjoyed! I know I really enjoyed making this, I had to like take breaks because even the teasing made me like wigekquabdgwk.

[yumeurl]

what’s your take on their biggest kinks??(like for draco, harry, tom..)

im gonna preface this by saying that my takes are mostly on vibes. some of them have reasons that stem from the books, but i always believe sexual preferences/fantasies are anything goes

harry: im a 100% believer that he's into dacryphilia. harry always takes satisfaction whenever he thinks of draco being humiliated or when it actually does happen. he'd also be into omorashi a little, mostly because it's linked to dacryphilia and humiliation. i also think he's more of a switch (in d/s scenario), depends on his mood at that time really. harry also has a weird thing with hair. he loves smelling, touching and in general just looking at his person of interest's hair

draco: draco likes anything to do with praises and being pampered with. he also loves being with a brat tamer. i think he'd also love doing it with people older than him as well, most especially when they're an authority figure. while he loves being a brat and a good challenge, he also needs a balance where he's also getting praised. he's curious and free to try anything unless it involves him giving or receiving pain. its an instant turn off for him

tom: for tom in general i always think of him as ace(though not sex repulsed), he'd engage with it if needed or if the mood is right, but otherwise doesn't feel the need for it and doesn't think much of it. he likes ordering someone around while being a pillow princess LMFAO. his partner only focusing on him is great too

[velvetring08]

Adaptation of my dark vanessa pt2.

Soooo, for Vanessa, I’ve often seen her fancast as Elle Fanning in Ginger & Rosa, where she has red hair and was just 14 years old at the time of filming, so she looks really young there with her baby face.

And I think she would’ve been so perfect if it wasn’t for the fact that she is so pretty. It’s just that Vanessa she is an ordinary, plain teenage girl, she’s not really beautiful, though with makeup, she could look pretty.

And she even says that at 22 she still looks like she is 15, which is like disturbing cause this is probably why ephebophile Strane was still able to (barely) get it up for her.

Another popular fancast is Sadie Sink in All Too Well (Taylor Swift’s short film), where she plays a redheaded girl in a relationship with an older man, so of course I get why this one is popular, but in reality Vanessa probably looked more like Sadie’s character Max in season 2 of Stranger things cause Sadie was 14 when she was playing that role.

And this is what she looked like in 2017 when she was 15.

Like thats literally Vanessa, you cannot convince me otherwize.

And i think i need to clarify that im talking about how characters look like and what i imagine them to be, not who would probably play Vanessa if there really would be an adaptation, cause both Sadie and Elle are in their twenties now and if they want to really show how fucked up this whole relationship is in reality, they need an actress who looks 15 with the baby face.

And i know Sadie isnt plain in any means, its just that shes also natural redhead with the feckles on her face something that Vanessa also has.

So im more inclined towards her.

And also another thing about Vanessa that a lot of people tend to get wrong is that she’s not skinny. Like how I said in my previous post about Strane’s casting, my shock when I found out he weighs 127 kg, the same thing happened with Vanessa—I was surprised to learn she weighs 65 kg, like I’m 5’5” and weigh 53 kg, but I wouldn’t consider myself skinny because I have a fat stomach. So, I imagined the whole book thinking Vanessa is this skinny redhead, but she weighs more than me.

And I estimated her height cause she mentions a handful of times that her head barely reaches Stranes shoulder:

Strane is 6’4”, so with a height visualizer, I estimated that Vanessa is probably 5’3” or 5’4”:

Then, using a body visualizer, I looked up how a girl who’s 5’3”–5’4” and 145 pounds might look, and while I wouldn’t call her fat, she isn’t skinny. I think this is such a great detail because usually when we think of teenage girls who are being preyed upon we imagine them as skinny cause it relates to the whole you know them looking like children. And this kind of thinking is evident in this question that a reader asked KER on her tumblr:

Like she assumed that Vanessa is thin, maybe her trying to be as small as possible for Strane, but KER answered:

As she said “you either get it or you don't”, cause as someone who's been on the fuller side my whole life I understand that people have a harder time believing victims who are fat or plus size cause they think why would they go after you and not someone prettier meaning also skinnier. So I'm really glad that Vanessa is also on the fuller side because predators don't go after the prettiest one, they go after the weakest one. 

Another thing that i found about this on k.e.rs tumblr blog is that in her mood board for the book, she chose this picture of the girl in strawberry pajamas:

She could’ve chosen any picture of a usually skinny girl in strawberry pajamas for this detail, but she specifically chose one where the girl isn’t thin. So, this is what Vanessa would’ve looked like in her strawberry pajamas:

Cause otherwise, in the book Vanessa describes her figure only once, when she tries on the black nightgown that she wears for her first sleepover at Strane’s:

She could’ve easily been the body type that K.E.R. chose for her here.

The next thing that I’m going to mention about this topic might be a bit of a stretch, but KER for her post on tumblr used this random picture of a girl:

Her name is Tess McMillan, she's a model and influencer. Please tell me you see what I see, this girl looks so much like what Vanessa would've looked like or at least the Vanessa that K.E.R. imagined.

Cause If you look at the other pictures in the same post, they all directly relate to K.E.R.’s life and the book My Dark Vanessa. But this picture of Tess feels so random—it doesn’t seem like a coincidence. This girl could easily be what Vanessa would’ve looked like, with her accurate weight and body type.

So, if there’s ever an adaptation of My Dark Vanessa, I hope they go after someone like her because it would be so much more faithful to the book.

[eggsaladsandwhic]

College AU! Poly! Vash x (Reader) x Knives: Pre Relationship Headcannons/Drabbles (SFW)

IM ALIVE - Actually I just got extremely backed up between work and playing Persona 5R( Very important activities) Sorry if these are rusty. Have some word vomit.

You were originally a classmate of Nai's and had come over a couple times for group projects. Vash was surprised finding out Nai had found a human he didn't have problems with

Nai only admited to Vash he tolerated your presence, but the way you came over an hour later to help cook dinner says otherwise

Vash understood pretty quickly what "tolerated" meant after you came in with a box of cookies (Nai told you how to gain his brothers trust and you took it as a challenge to make the best batch ever)

Wanting to interact with Vash but he's got a golden lab personality and if you're shy it's probably overwhelming

Nai could probably handle a high energy person, but a low energy ambivert is probably this guy's best match

Visits came more frequently, and eventually you were practically a part-time resident

Movie Nights, Hobby Days, Cooking Lessons, Chores ( Both the boys always tried stoping you to no avail), sometimes you'd come over just to exist in their presence and talk

Vash made you keep some of your things at their place just in case you ever slept over. At least twice a week you were an honorary couch crasher, but Vash did joke about you sharing the bed with him (he's not joking come snuggle him)

Nai became more soft around you and it would seem to brighten up his mood when you walked through the door. Vash would tease him constantly about it when you were out of earshot

Nai started letting you hang out in his room and he would play his electric piano softly while you were curled up in his bed (probs a great time to study, read, write, draw, and the nap is probably magnificent)

Touch was rare but it did happen from time to time, hand on your back, a teasing head pat, both of you laying on your stomachs side by side elbows touching. Nothing too close for his comfort.

Vash loved being around you and likely starting initiating physical affection first. He'd put his head on your lap and ramble, throw his arms around your shoulders, lean on you during movies, etc..

Vash took you on "fake dates" but really it was just while he loves hanging out with his usual friend group, sometimes he just needs one on one time because he enjoys your company

Y'all became each other's biggest cheerleader

Nai would watch his brother in envy, but he enjoyed seeing both of you happy nonetheless. He wishes he was closer but has a hard time trying to act on his emotions or how he wants to convey them.

After a particularly stressful day he had walked into your apartment while you were on the couch and just layed himself on you? No words, no build up, just walked in like he owned the place.

Nai feels like the kind of guy that's all or nothing and depending on the situation it's either or. You gotta sculpt him a little to get out of this mindset probably.

Progress I guess? Nai didn't want to talk but pretty much melted when you started scratching at his scalp and undercut. You got the jist of his issues and worked your hands through the knotted up muscle on his back. He wrapped his arms around your midsection and just stayed there in silence for almost 3 hours. Honestly he probably wanted to stay awake but kept drifting in and out of sleep every 15 to 20 mins

Goes home after you make dinner, has an absolute conniption fit because he shouldn't be acting like this. Feels like he's taking advantage of your kindness constantly, especially after that. Takes his anger out and yells at Vash. (Nai hasn't yelled at him like that in ages, so Vash leaves the apartment to avoid it)

Cue Vash showing up 20mins later at your place, asking if he could stay a couple days. Of course you said yes, but....your couch cannot fit a whole Vash. BED SHARING

Asks your boundaries before hand and y'all were down for cuddling. Woke up the next morning practically glued together, his head in the crook of your neck and a leg and arm thrown over you. Dear lord he's probably so warm, you somehow get out of his grip and he makes some disappointed noises.

You make him breakfast while he's still asleep, and when he wakes up to you cooking pancakes in the sunlight he swears he could marry you. (This man makes me so domestic)

Accidentally says the last part out loud and gets all embarrassed

Y'all lounge around watching shitty tv or playing video games in your PJs for the rest of the morning

TIME TO FACE THE CONSEQUENCES

Nai sends you a text asking if you two could talk, says he's also going to apologize to his brother in a little bit. You tell him to man up and apologize first beforehand then talking is on the table

You go get lunch while Vash and Nai talk it out. Nai ended up admitting to Vash he has feelings for you. Vash went "No shit really?.......me too". Both of them have a whatever happens happens mindset about the situation. Feel like both of them wouldn't want to rush a relationship with you and would probably keep it to platonic/verging on romantic attention for a hot while. Sharing isn't even on the table yet and Nai is definitely the more possessive one out of the brothers.

This doesn't mean they're not gonna be affectionate, but they will respect each other wanting alone time with you. Along with not making each other feel like the whole ordeal is a contest on who's better.

THESE BOYS COMMUNICATE ABOUT THE FACT THEY BOTH WANT TO COURT YOUR ASS.

(I wonder if plants would have any courting methods like birds or something...hmmm I have ideas)

[asheronangel]

This is your sign to yap about your tmnt au

oh wait i wasn't actually expecting this now i don't know what to say- i'm just gonna. snatch the random stuff i rambled about on discord

full disclaimer that it is. not very developed yet! i haven't really figured out the plot, or the turtles entirely, so i'm mostly gonna yap about random details i hope that's okay (usually i avoid posting au's unless i deem them "finished enough" but uh that's never happened. so.)

so. in this au two of the turtles were made purposefully, and the other two accidentally (all four with the same ooze, but two were like,,, prepped for it beforehand, so the mutation sorta "assimilated" better with predetermined traits, while with the other two it ended up being more random)

read more because im yapping

donnie's a northern long/snake-necked turtle, mikey is an eastern box turtle, leo's a flordia softshell, and raph is a common snapper <- (this is also their height order)

they're used to wearing clothes in this au!! idk it just makes sense to me, that since splinter used to be human in this au and still wears clothes, he'd teach that to his sons, to an extent???

they don't mind being clothe-less (they do not bother with swimsuits), at least around family, because they are Turtles with nothing to see, but clothing allows them to express themselves!! and warmth, seeing as donnie's the only warm-blooded one and runs cold anyway

splinter has taken them to the surface since they were young, only after thoroughly scouting for a mostly secluded place, because the books splinter snatched said that children need things like sunshine and fresh air (or as fresh as new york can get, i guess? i don't know what the air is like there sorry guys. my only guess is that it's better than the sewers)

so they are used to being topside, watching the city from afar, but going to the surface alone for the first time ends up being a big deal for them as teens. that's when they end up meeting april!

they've known casey ever since they were all small, and casey definitely sees the turtles and splinter as his second family. he also calls leo a frog, as an inside joke to what tiny casey originally thought leo was

splinter wasn't a great dad when they were young. (he was sort of struggling with suddenly becoming a rat with four children, understandably) he didn't pay attention to them as long as he could find them when he looked. an incident ended up making him come to the reality that he's they're sole caretaker and he needs to step up, so he stole snatched a bunch of books on parenting and turtles and got way more invested in his sons' lives. current day turtles love their dad

age wise, technically nothing is set in stone for them except mikey being the youngest, since besides him the turtles developed too close together for splinter to figure out an age order. (like,, raph was the first to walk, but donnie was the first to talk, and none of them were really ahead of the others)

so oldest is based on the mood. raph was the oldest when they were tots, but that title slid on over to donnie over the years, and while leo can have older sibling energy, he rarely actually gets to Be the Oldest Sibling.

everybody knows raph has a sweet spot for mikey. he Will still carry him around even though mikey is taller.

if you have any specific questions, PLEASE ASK THEM! i probably won't have the answer, but it'll force me to figure the answer out, yknow? think about things i wouldn't have otherwise

have my first attempt at a mikey design as a thank you for sending an ask!!

[ticklyblues]

Across The Spider-Verse (arachkids) tk headcannons!!

saw this movie last week and ,,, oh my god i love them all so much i HAVE to write headcannons for them even though this isnt really the kind of thing i normally do

hcs under the cut ⌄⌄⌄⌄⌄⌄

Miles Morales

60% lee, 40% ler

Ler:

Second bigest teaser ever

Loves using his invisibility for sneak attacks

Always goes for the ribs first for some reason

Sometimes uses webs for light restraints if he's feeling mean enough

Prefers group attacks over going solo

"Wow I did NOT expect this much of a reaction!"

Uses electricity to give little tickle shocks (stolen from @/orchid-fics but it was too cute not to include im sorry)

Lee:

Is a literal potato bug. curls up if you even touch him

Kinda guy to scream "NO!!" a bunch of times

Turns invisible by reflex if he knows he's about to get wrecked

Has a hard time telling people he wants tickles so he just kind of sprawls out and exposes all his spots in hopes of someone taking the hint

Maybe he'll tickle someone just for payback if he's feeling spunky

Worst spots are his ears, armpits, hips, and thighs

Gwen Stacy

20% lee, 80% ler

Ler:

Absolutely EVIL

She totally coos at her lees like . look at her and tell me she doesn't

Does light and feathery tickles and then goes hard and rough out of NOWHERE just for fun

Prefers to make the lee giggle and squirm instead of scream

Brings you water after she's done

You can tell when she's in a ler mood cause she gets 10x more sassy than usual (literal nightmare btw it gets to the point where they just let her get it out of her system so she stops being such a bully)

She might be mean but she can tell when the lee's had enough

Lee:

More of a ler but she still has her moments

She thrashes HARD watch out

Snorts

Hides her face with her hands instead of covering her spots

Worst spots are her neck, ribs, and stomach

Pavitr Prabhakar

50/50 switch

Ler:

Oh boy he has FUN

The most teasy guy ever he pulls all the stops

"Honestly, didn't peg you to be a squirmer... don't worry, I can still work with this!"

Him and Gwen teamed up are the most awful (amazing) mean (great) duo ever

Guilty of using the same techiniques that kill him

LOVES to chase people down

Narrarates exactly what he's doing and what spots hes gonna go for next

Has a hard time knowing when to stop but takes the hint after he gets punched a few times

Lee:

Has zero shame in admitting when he's in a lee mood

Just like when he's a ler, he loves a good chase

Will attempt to crawl away but doesn't actually want it to stop

NEEDS to have his hands pinned down otherwise he starts hitting and shooting webs by reflex

Squirms and screams like he's dying

Worst spots are his stomach, sides, thighs, and knees

Hobie Brown

10% lee, 90% ler

Ler:

Usually doesn't join in but when he does he makes everyone SCREAM.

No one knows how he does it but he's the most evil most menacing ler to ever haunt the multiverse

"What'cha laughing at, mate?"

Techniques are different every time but he still manages to wreak havoc without fail

Unofficial big brother of the group

Switches spots CONSTANTLY and drives everyone crazy

Laughs along with the lee

Lee:

Not that ticklish so he doesn't really get much out of being a lee

However the spots where he IS ticklish are all really weird and out of the way

Can't really get anything more than giggles, but all of that excess energy goes into his extremely intense facial expressions and gasps

Is extremely surprised when something tickles badly enough to laugh because he doesn't think he's ticklish at all

Worst spots are his lower back, the spot where his arms meet his armpits, and his calves

WOAH GONNA BE HONEST HERE i loved making this i might end up doing some fics soon ?? idk schools out in like a week for me I'll have loads of free time

[a-drama-addict]

✨Let's talk about OCs!✨How would you describe your OC's personality/aesthetic? What's your favourite thing about them? Tell us a fun fact(s) about your OC or their creation!

❤️Send this to at least 3 people to spread some OC appreciation!❤️

HELLO HI GHOST THANK YOU!!!! im in my emira mood still be prepared for emira

1. How would you describe your OC's personality/aesthetic?

Oh man aesthetically i have no clue. She just kinda… wears armor all the time. Leathers, a lot of leather. I think Em’s aesthetic is leather, she prolly smells like leather too.

I think I'd describe Em as like. Very tough, very headstrong, kinda always ready to get into a fight. She's also compassionate when she needs to be, and probably one of my most selfless ocs in general. Imagine like a very kind street rat

2. What's your favourite thing about them?

PROBABLY HER DESIGN BC I THINK SHES PRETTY. i also do love her arc because it always comes down to wanting to live. Like. She just desperately wants to live because otherwise her parents did everything for her for nothing (guilt is a great motivator!) ((not that. cyrion or adaia wouldve been really pressuring parents she gave this pressure to herself))

3. Tell us a fun fact(s) about your OC or their creation!

Emira has a matching tattoo with Shianni! They have matching dagger tattoos on their backs :)