#the thing is if obi wan or padme had been there they obviously could have talked him down

[pumpkinrootbeer]

i really do think the systematic execution of the jedi has kinda sorta ruined all future star wars media for in the sense that i am always going to be thinking about the space empath monks who were genocided. there used to be thousands of them and now there's like. 7. functionally an entire culture dead. they can show me all the grogus in the world, im always going to think about how they had to step over the dead babies.

[saphronethaleph]

Fluid, Dynamics

“So, uh…” Anakin said, looking around him. “This is weird.”

“Is there something wrong, Master Jedi?�� the Kaminoan asked, concerned. “I was going to welcome you to Tipoca City.”

“Oh, I’m actually not a Master,” Anakin replied. “My Master’s busy, I’m just…”

He shook his head. “Sorry about that, it’s very unprofessional of me. I know I’m supposed to be professional, but being around this much water is very odd for me.”

“Being around water is odd for you?” the Kaminoan repeated. “...is there an alternative? I know Kamino is an unusually wet planet, but I did not think the difference was that stark.”

“I’m from a world where there just… isn’t water,” Anakin explained. “The only way we got water to drink was to pull it out of the air, and there wasn’t enough to go around.”

Then he frowned slightly. “Actually, uh… come to think of it, it isn’t all that far from here to my homeworld… do you think I could ship some water over there?”

“That is an… odd request,” the Kaminoan admitted. “But I must admit, we do have more water than we know what to do with. Perhaps we could discuss something like that after our main business is completed.”

“Sure,” Anakin agreed. “So, where do we get started?”

“I will take you to Lama Su,” the Kaminoan decided. “He will show you the current state of progress.”

Anakin nodded, absently, mostly thinking about showing up at Tatooine with a freighter full of water.

“How often does Anakin go on missions without you?” Padme asked, curious.

“It happens, sometimes,” Obi-Wan replied. “Increasingly often these days, actually. Anakin is approaching the point where he will have the chance to become a Jedi Knight, and… I worry about him a little.”

“Is that something a Jedi does?” Padme said.

“All the time,” Obi-Wan replied. “But right now, Senator, your safety is the highest priority.”

He frowned. “Though I must admit, I was expecting there to have been some kind of assassination attempt by this point.”

“You almost sound disappointed,” Padme suggested.

“No, no, it’s pattern recognition,” Obi-Wan replied, firmly. “You see, my missions with Anakin so rarely go smoothly. And if this mission is going smoothly, where the biggest danger we’ve had to deal with is mosquitos, then I dread to think about what is going on with Anakin.”

There was a beep.

“...like that, for example,” Obi-Wan added, taking his comlink out of his pocket. “What is it, Anakin?”

“So, first I want to say, I didn’t set out to do this, Master,” Anakin said.

“...oh dear,” Obi-Wan sighed. “That’s never a good sign. So, what is it that you didn’t set out to do?”

“So it turns out that Kamino was building an army for the Jedi,” Anakin said. “Also, it’s a really wet, flooded planet, they actually have too much water, I didn’t know that was possible! But I said that Tatooine had too little water, and since they had all those giant ships anyway I thought some of them could be used for transporting lots of water…”

“Sorry, Anakin, Kamino was building an army for the Jedi?” Obi-Wan repeated, a little incredulously. “That seems like the most important part of the situation.”

“No, no, the most important part is that some guy called Darth Tyrannus hired this bounty hunter called Jango Fett to be the clone template,” Anakin said. “And get this, he’s the one who killed that bounty hunter we chased, and things got a bit complicated… anyway, I went over the technical details and the clones have this weird chip in them and I think Chancellor Valorum might have been trying to assassinate the Jedi because the chip would have let the Chancellor tell the clones to kill the Jedi… obviously I told the Kaminoans to take that bit out because we didn’t need it and it’s way too much like slavery if you ask me. Anyway, uh, I’ve got the clones shipping water from Kamino to Tatooine for now, the Kaminoans are actually totally okay with it because they’ve got too much water, and I rescued my mother, too! I told you she was in danger!”

Obi-Wan took several seconds to process that particular bit of Skywalkerness.

Then he processed it a second time.

“…you have the clones… shipping water to Tatooine,” he repeated.

“Yeah, it’s going to break the Hutt control over water production and transportation for anything above the subsistence level,” Anakin said. “And it’s going to make Tatooine a way better place-”

“I have to interrupt you there, Anakin,” Obi-Wan said. “You said you rescued your mother? That’s very impressive, but you didn’t tell me she was in danger.”

“I did!” Anakin objected.

“You said you were dreaming about her,” Obi-Wan pointed out. “That does not mean you were dreaming about her being in danger. That’s quite different, Anakin, you must remember to use the right words if you want me to know something.”

“...oh,” Anakin said, and Obi-Wan could hear the shrug. “Well, anyway, I think there might be some kind of Sith plot involved too because of the whole Darth thing. Do you think Chancellor Valorum was a Sith?”

“I see what you mean,” Padme admitted.

[gffa]

Here's why I don't think Qui-Gon could be the magical answer to "How do you solve a problem like Anakin Skywalker?" because of this right here. Qui-Gon directly witnesses Dooku's anger at the Senator who is oppressing the people of his planet, that he uses the Force in anger, he's literally Force-choking people right in front of Qui-Gon's eyes, and that's the same kind of thing Anakin does, the big red warning flag. So what does Qui-Gon do about it? He gets the Senator's son to help calm this specific situation down, puts a hand on Dooku's shoulder and gently says, "It's over now." But beyond that he doesn't really step in to make Dooku do anything, which is especially understandable here, but even as a Jedi Master we see that he never really stepped in to do anything with Dooku. Which isn't Qui-Gon's fault, this is not a castigation of him or saying he was wrong. Because it's Dooku's choice to not deal with his darker feelings. Because we see that Yaddle does try to reach out to him but it still has to be Dooku's choice, she couldn't make it for him, Qui-Gon couldn't make it for him, all they can do is handle what's in front of them in the moment and be there if the person reaches out. They have to trust and believe in the person that they care about. Which Qui-Gon very obviously does! You can hear it in his voice and see it on his face in these scenes! And what I'm getting at is--that's exactly what Obi-Wan does with Anakin as well. He reaches out to talk to him, he makes himself available, we see that in AOTC, in TCW, in ROTS. We see on his face that he cares so much about Anakin! We see others make themselves available for Anakin to talk to, but that it has to be his choice still. Qui-Gon cared about Dooku, who was falling to the dark, just as Obi-Wan and Padme and Yoda cared about Anakin who was falling to the dark. Qui-Gon could not have magically solved Anakin's fall to the dark side because we already see he couldn't magically solve Dooku's, because it has to be that the person wants to make a different choice, they have to want to open up and be vulnerable. There's so much sympathy to be had for why Dooku or Anakin made the choices they did, that's why these characters love and care about them so much, because their motivations are sympathy-inspiring. But no one could save them from themselves if they didn't want to make the choice themselves, and Qui-Gon would not have been that magic save for Anakin, any more than Obi-Wan could have been a magic save for Dooku, if they'd been introduced sooner, not with the way Star Wars' narrative intentions work. I do believe that, in different circumstances (ones that mix-and-match Qui-Gon and Yoda and Obi-Wan's influences in their lives) people might have been inspired to make different choices, but it wouldn't have been a magic save. It would still be down to that the characters are responsible for their own choices and that Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan and Yoda are all generally equally able to/not able to save others. Qui-Gon wouldn't magically save Anakin from falling to the dark and couldn't save Dooku from falling to the dark, because he doesn't magically strip them of their own agency. That doesn't mean Qui-Gon cares about them any less, just like I honestly believe that Obi-Wan would have cared deeply about Dooku if places had been swapped, but he couldn't have magically saved him, either. Obi-Wan loved Anakin and did his best. Qui-Gon loved Dooku and did his best. And both of those beloved people still made their own choices, because all you can do is make yourself available and believe in them, whether they come through or not.

[i-really-love-cookies]

i love palpatine’s manipulation. not in the way that he hurt anakin and padme when all anakin wanted was to save his wife and child(ren) but in the way that it’s so good.

we already know that palpatine is the sith lord from return of the jedi, but the prequels show how really horrible he was. in the original trilogy we just saw him as this mysterious guy who was leading stuff behind the scenes, but most of our focus was on vader. in the prequels he becomes much more terrifying. he turns from a mysterious man to a cruel, manipulative being.

at the end of the phantom menace, when palpatine has been elected chancellor and comes to naboo, when he sees anakin he praises him for what he did and says “we will watch your career with great interest.” he is already implanting himself as an important figure with anakin. he’s known this kid for about two minutes, but he also knows about anakin. if the theory that palpatine is anakin’s father is correct, he would know that anakin was a slave. he would know about his mother, his friends, his situation. at the lack of a parental figure, palpatine became a father figure for anakin so that obi wan couldn’t.

throughout the ten year time skip between the phantom menace and attack of the clones, palpatine obviously becomes closer and closer to anakin. he becomes like a father figure to him. anakin even says that. i can’t remember when exactly but he does. the revenge of the sith book states that anakin and obi wan are like brothers, because as stated earlier, palpatine became a father figure before obi wan could.

when anakin goes to palpatine to convince him to talk to padme, he says “you are the most gifted jedi i have ever met.” and “i see you becoming the greatest of all the jedi, anakin. even more powerful than master yoda.” he is praising anakin on his skill, which we know is what he craves when he didn’t allow himself to smile at the start of episode iii until obi wan says “another happy landing.” however by saying that anakin could be greater than master yoda, he’s putting an idea in his mind that he is better than yoda. what if he is better than yoda? after the death of shmi he definitely wants to be. if he can be greater, more powerful than yoda, then he can save ahsoka. he can save padme. anakin’s obsession with power and controlling things after being controlled his whole childhood is part of the reason that palpatine was able to turn him.

i don’t believe that palpatine had anything to do with ahsoka’s trial, but if she hadn’t left the order then i believe he probably would’ve gotten dooku to get rid of her so that it would be easier to get anakin to kill him, and then manipulate the emotions he feels after it. when anakin says “i shouldn’t have done that” palpatine immediately gets in and explains it away. to get him to think of killing an unarmed man as easy as cake would turn him into the ruthless killing machine that vader is.

and then he turns obi wan against him. it’s just so good, how he gets to anakin when obi wan is away, he’s having bad dreams of his wife dying, he doesn’t know if rex and ahsoka are alright and the council is being… well the council. he tells him about darth plagueis, makes him think that he just needs to tap into the dark side for a bit to save padme, and then reveals himself to anakin knowing that he won’t say shit. if he does, his wife could die. anakin needs palpatine to tell him how to save padme. when anakin does actually turn he says that he’s only doing this to save padme’s life. that’s it.

like, palpatine’s an absolute arsehole, and i hate him with every bone in my body, but the way he manipulates anakin and everyone around him is just MMM

[persephone-writes]

On the Streets of Coruscant: Part Two

Obi-Wan x Fem!Reader

Read Part One (posted on my old account @persephone-writes2)

Obi-Wan image by ObmanBalagan on pinterest

Description: Over a decade after their spontaneous stroll around the Plaza, Y/N is working as an aide to Senator Amidala. When the Senator is placed under the protection of two Jedi after an assassination attempt, Y/N is reunited with the now Master Obi-Wan Kenobi.

Word Count: 9.7k

Warnings & Tags: canon typical violence/the assassination attempts of Padme (mentioned only), mild discussions of low self esteem, reader specifically does *not* have children, probably a crap ton of grammatical errors, lots of Y/N usage, fluff, kissing, happy ending!

Notes: Sooo, full warning, I hate this, but I'm posting it anyway! This takes place during Attack of the Clones, so I had to change a few things around to fit in the reader (some things just happen because I said so lol) This also means that I HAD to include Jar Jar. I attempted at writing dialogue for him but I just couldn't bring myself to, so I tried my best to just have him barely be there lmao. Also, mullet obi-wan is top tier and I will die on that hill

Y/N clicked away on her holopad, attempting to get through the pile of work that had been dumped on her that morning.  While her job was always demanding, and sometimes overwhelming, this was the busiest she had been in a long time.  With Senator Amidala set to arrive on Coruscant today amidst an increasingly intense political climate, Y/N was tasked with taking what seemed like hundreds of messages, thoroughly organizing and answering every one.  While Padmé had an array of other aides to help her, Y/N was the head of her office on Coruscant, leaving her with the majority of the responsibility when she was on-planet, besides that of Dormé. 

Despite her spinning head, Y/N adored her job, as well as Senator Amidala.  She had worked in a variety of low level positions for different Senators, many of which were not nearly as kind.  No matter how much pressure she faced, Padmé never spoke harshly or berated those who worked for her.  Y/N couldn’t imagine how exhausting it must be to represent an entire planet, all while keeping up a professional appearance.  Outside of her office, Padmé had to seem relaxed, dignified, and confident no matter what she was up against.  At least Y/N didn’t have to face the wrath of the public or the argumentative nature of the Senate.  Always tucked away inside the office, Y/N could plug away at her work without the eyes of thousands upon her at any given time. 

Another aide knocked on the door of the office before entering, peeking his head in. 

“The Senator is landing.”

“Thank you,” Y/N replied, frantically pulling up the most urgent messages in preparation.  The aide hurried away down the hall, the door closing behind him.  After a few minutes, a guard came running down the hall, opening the door abruptly.  Y/N jumped at the sudden intrusion, growing fearful when she saw the look on his face. 

“The Senator’s ship has been attacked,” the guard said, a bit out of breath.  Y/N felt her stomach drop, dread rushing through her. 

“Is she alright?” Y/N asked, voice desperate. Before he could answer, Captain Typho pushed past him, leading Padmé into the room.  Her face was contorted in sadness and confusion, obviously still in shock.  She wasn’t wearing her usual attire, dressed identically to Typho in a dark turtleneck and leather vest.  She immediately sat down in one of the chairs, head hung low.  

A wave of relief came over Y/N knowing Padmé was okay.  She immediately rushed to her, kneeling down beside her chair. 

“Milady, are you alright?” Padmé only nodded.  Y/N looked up at Captain Typho, who was pacing around the room. “What happened?”

“I don’t know,” he said, eyes darting around in thought. “Someone bombed the ship.”

For a moment, Y/N stared out into space, swallowing thickly before she stood.  

“Milady,” Typho began, to which Padmé lifted her head, “We must get you somewhere safer.”

She nodded, standing up and taking a deep breath.  Her composure was regained, and Y/N marveled at the speed to which she recovered from such a terrifying incident.  She turned to Y/N, eyes determined. 

“Y/N, send me all the necessary documents for the vote,” she paused, turning to Typho, “We shall go to my apartment.”

“Yes, milady,” Y/N answered.  Typho then led Padmé from the room, Y/N immediately returning to her desk to get to work once again.  

A few hours later, Y/N received a message from the Captain that she would be meeting with the Chancellor and would not be returning to the Senate today.  Further, Y/N was to meet Padmé at her apartment to discuss a series of negotiation plans which Y/N had been organizing.  Y/N was no stranger to working in the Senator’s apartment, having done so on many late nights when Padmé refused to get some rest.  However, it had never been under such circumstances.   

Later in the afternoon, Padmé’s team sent a transport for her along with a guard.  Y/N thought it was overkill, as no one was after a random aide, but she didn’t make too much of a fuss about it.  No one could stop Padmé from worrying about her team, especially after some of them likely died in the attack.  As the transport flew through the busy city, Y/N peered out of the window, wondering who could have been behind the explosion.  Padmé had many adversaries, though it surprised Y/N that any one of them would attempt to assassinate her.  The Separatist movement had uprooted nearly every system, turning the Senate into more of a battle ground than ever before.  Even so, war had not broken out yet, and all Y/N could do was hope that it wouldn’t resort to that.

Pulling up to the apartment, Y/N was escorted by the guard all the way up the glass turbolift, exposed to the city.  Stepping in, she remembered the first time she had been called here, unable to pull her eyes away from the city growing smaller as she ascended.  

As the turbolift doors opened, she immediately heard the happy voice of Jar Jar Binks.  While she thought it strange for someone to be excited at a time like this, it was hard to tamper Jar Jar’s spirits.  The guard led her into the apartment, where she saw Padmé sitting on one of the long sofas.  She was clothed her usual fashion, hair in an updo, wearing a wide skirt dress with long flowing sleeves.  Although Padmé looked good in almost anything, it was a small relief to see her back to her normal self.  Captain Typho was standing a few feet away, with Dormé sitting beside Padmé.  On the sofa opposite sat two men who Y/N instantly recognized as Jedi.  Working for the Senate, Y/N had seen her fair share of Jedi over the years, though their presence usually didn’t bring good news.  Of course, today wasn’t the day for good news anyhow. 

Padmé stopped speaking, spotting Y/N as she walked into the room.  She turned to smile at her, which Y/N returned easily.  The other’s followed Padmé’s gaze, and Y/N grew a bit nervous at the attention.  Her eyes went to the two Jedi, now given a clear view of their faces.  The one sitting closest had short, cropped brown hair and the braid of a padawan falling across his shoulder.  He appeared slightly annoyed, and Y/N wondered if she had intruded upon an important conversation she was not meant to be a part of.  Her gaze drifted to the other Jedi, whose hair was on the longer side and a light copper in color.  His beard was short and neatly trimmed, though there was still an air about him that was rugged, ever so slightly ruffled.  After her brief first impression, the realization hit Y/N with a full, intense force.  Her heart sped up significantly as she thought back to over ten years ago when she had met a Jedi at a nightclub. 

Before Y/N could make any sort of reaction, Padmé stood, followed by the others.  

“Y/N,” she said kindly, walking over to greet her. 

“Senator,” Y/N said in return, bowing.

Jar Jar happily pranced over and shook Y/N’s hand, telling her it was nice to see her again.  Y/N chuckled at his enthusiasm before turning back to Padmé. 

“This is Master Obi-Wan Kenobi, and his padawn, Anakin Skywalker,” she introduced.  Y/N was forced to look at the two Jedi, feeling heat rush up her spine and into her face.  She had no idea if she should acknowledge that they knew each other, or pretend they were strangers.  Obi-Wan reached out his hand to shake hers, a small, polite smile on his lips.  She took it wearily, forcing herself to make eye contact.  It was easier to shake the padawan’s hand, who only nodded at her. 

Now that she was closer to Obi-Wan, she stole a look at him from the corner of her eye.  He was just as handsome as he was when they first met, perhaps even more handsome.  His face was not boyish as it had been, now more mature, his features stronger and more pronounced.  The buzz that once existed all around him was settled, but not completely gone.  Remnants of it remained in his eyes, which still held their playful shine.  Suddenly, Y/N grew self conscious of her appearance.  She was older than she had been, no longer the young girl she once was.  It was hard for her to know how different she truly looked, as she had watched herself slowly age over many years.  Her clothes as well were more mature, or rather refined.  She realized that Obi-Wan had only seen her in her party clothes, never something professional, clean-cut, more simple.  Her rapid thoughts were interrupted by Padmé, who went on to introduce her.

“This is Y/N L/N, my leading aide on Coruscant,” Padmé said.  Obi-Wan let out a small laugh at her words, earning a confused look from Padmé.  His laugh was a bit deeper than it was all those years ago, but it held the same lightness and ease. 

“We’ve met,” he said, accent still smooth, “a long time ago.”

Y/N smiled sheepishly, knowing that Obi-Wan was looking at her face.  Padmé appeared pleasantly surprised, Anakin raising his brows at his Master. 

“You have?” Padmé asked, smiling at Y/N.  

Y/N nodded, trying to think of what to say.  Obi-Wan saved her, speaking before anyone could ask questions. 

“I was still a padawan then,” Obi-Wan said, light hearted without giving anything away.  Anakin looked suspiciously towards Y/N, but wiped his face quickly when she noticed. 

“This is the day of reacquaintance,” Padmé said, pleased with the surprise. Y/N gave her a confused look, and she laughed a bit, realizing her mistake. “I met Master Kenobi and Anakin ten years ago, when I was Queen.”

Y/N nodded. “I see,” was all she could think to say.  

“You must excuse us,” Padmé began, “We have much work to do.”

“It was lovely to meet you,” Y/N said to Anakin.  She then looked to Obi-Wan, mind reeling. “And it’s nice to see you again.”  She then left to follow Padmé and Dormé, cheeks burning.  

Y/N spent the afternoon into the evening with Padmé and Dormé, going over documents and discussing her next moves.  Y/N did most of the clerical work, leaving the politics to Padmé and Dormé, who knew the ins and outs.  Although Y/N had picked up a lot, she still felt overwhelmed by the current climate and all its complexities.  The whole time, she was hyper aware that Obi-Wan was in the other room, doing who knows what.  

As the evening fell, Padmé excused Y/N, asking her to return tomorrow morning.  She was thankful, as the eventful day had her tired, as surely Padmé was as well.  At least she knew that Padmé would take it easy for the rest of the night, forgoing any further work until morning. Exiting the room, holopad in hand, Y/N saw Anakin and Obi-Wan talking on the balcony.  She hoped they wouldn’t notice her, allowing her to slip out quietly, though the chances of this were likely slim.  In all honesty, she had no idea how she would handle being so close to Obi-Wan for the foreseeable future, unable to acknowledge the circumstance of their last meeting and pretending as if they hadn’t gone on a romantic escapade.  

Perhaps feeling her eyes upon his back, Anakin turned, catching Y/N staring.  To her surprise, he gave her a small smile, which she anxiously returned before whipping her head forward.  She walked quickly to the turbolift, hoping that somehow Obi-Wan would remain ignorant of her growing uncertainty. 

Her alarm blared and she hastily reached over to turn off the cacophony of noise.  She laid in bed for a quiet moment, still groggy but remembering the events of the day prior.  She groaned upon the realization that she’d be forced to face Obi-Wan, all with the intent not to embarrass herself.  She envied his even manner which gave nothing away, not letting anyone know of their odd history.  As she pondered over this, she felt a pang in her heart at the thought that Obi-Wan was completely unaffected by her presence.  Yes, Y/N had a series of relationships since her single, solitary kiss with Obi-Wan, but that didn’t take away from the fact that she was entirely unprepared to ever see him again.  Until now, Obi-Wan was a fleeting yet meaningful moment in her life, one which Y/N would look back on every once in a while with an immature sadness.  The thought of him, someone who was so kind, so bright, so considerate, unable to form any romantic attachments, was poignant to say the least.  When this kind of thinking arose, she’d kick herself for giving it the time of day.  You only met him once, you only kissed once, what's the big deal?

Y/N got ready for the day with the intent of forgetting about Obi-Wan, focusing on the far more pressing matters.  Today would likely consist of setting up calls with many different Senators, some of which would want to discuss the recent attack, others who would simply want to argue about the motion to create an army.  Further, Y/N had no clue how long Senator Amidala would stay on-planet, so she would have to get to organizing all she could before she was off somewhere else.  As she brushed her teeth, Y/N stared at her reflection in the mirror, paying far too much attention to how she looked.  Just as she had sworn off thinking about Obi-Wan, the image of herself brought back feelings of insecurity.  She couldn’t stop herself from wondering what Obi-Wan thought when he first saw her again, thinking that perhaps his placidity came from the fact that he no longer found her attractive.  Although she tried to brush the thought of him away, she didn’t stop herself from putting on her best work-appropriate outfit.  

In a kind gesture, Padmé sent a speeder to pick Y/N up from her apartment, again accompanied by a guard.  She made small talk with him on the way to Padmé’s in an aim to calm her nerves, which despite all her efforts still bubbled beneath the surface.  When Y/N arrived, she saw Padmé and Dormé sitting opposite each other in the seating area, multiple holopads and projections on the table between them.  Off to the side, Obi-Wan and Anakin stood, Anakin seeming on guard and brewing with energy.  Padmé looked up from her work, waving Y/N over to sit with them. 

“There was another attack,” Padmé said, voice even and calculated, “I’m leaving for Naboo tomorrow.”

“Why not today, milady?” Y/N asked, full of concern. 

“I must leave on an unregistered transport, it will take some time to organize,” Padmé explained.  Seeing Y/N’s worries, she placed a hand on her shoulder for reassurance. “I will be alright, Anakin will be with me.”

Y/N nodded, feeling a bit better.  She wondered why Obi-Wan would not be joining her, though didn’t ask.  

“In the meantime, we must get as much done as we can.  I doubt I will be able to work much in hiding.”

With that, they all got to work.  Y/N was mostly silent, leaving Dormé and Padmé to talk over the majority of her decisions.  Padmé received a warm call from Senator Organa, who extended any help to her that he could offer.  Y/N never had the chance to work under him, though she expected it would be much like working for Padmé.  To Y/N, they seemed to be the only two honest and truly kind politicians in the galaxy, setting them in stark contrast to the increasingly unscrupulous nature of the Senate at large.  Amidst the growing chaos, Y/N hardly paid attention to the two Jedi guarding the apartment. 

Some time that morning, Padmé decided to move to a different room which housed a large table so that they could spread out more.  Y/N was off to the side, plugging away as usual, happy that her responsibilities seemed mild in comparison to Padmé and Dormé’s.  

Y/N hadn’t even noticed that they had worked well into midday, brought up from her work when Dormé suggested they break for a short lunch.  They were all left with a little free time, as it would take a bit for the chef to prepare their meals.  That was one thing Y/N loved about working at Padmé’s apartment; the chef.  Padmé and Dormé left the room as Y/N finished the last few sentences of her address to another Senatorial aide, sighed deeply as she sent it along. 

Walking into the main living space, she found Padmé standing beside one of the long floor to ceiling windows speaking to Anakin.  Padmé’s smile was calm, and for the first time in a while she seemed genuinely relieved.  If Y/N didn't know better, it looked as though Padmé and Anakin were close, long time friends, used to seeing one another.  Her eyes were taken away from the pair, drifting to Obi-Wan who was pouring over something on his holopad.  He too appeared incredibly natural, though tense in the shoulders.  If it weren’t for his robes, he could've been just another aide hard at work. 

Y/N lazily walked over to the balcony, pushing open the large glass doors and feeling the cool air of Coruscant brush against her face.  She sighed with contentment, taking in the view of the city from such a great height.  It wasn’t often that she was so high like this, nearly above the clouds.  It was as close to peaceful as she’s had in a while, not since her last visit to Corellia several years ago.  A few minutes passed, Y/N’s mind wandering to the various tasks which still needed to be done before Padmé left for Naboo. 

She was interrupted by the sound of the door opening behind her.  She glanced back, expecting to see Dormé or perhaps Padmé, only to find that it was Obi-Wan.  Her heart rate picked up as she took in his regal appearance, robes tidy and neatly tucked.  He smiled softly as if to ask permission to join her.  She returned it the best she could, trying to push her nerves down.  He came up beside her near the railing and looked out, sighing to himself. Y/N couldn’t bring herself to peek at him, fearful that her emotions would too clearly show upon her face. 

“I’m glad to see you working in the profession you wanted,” Obi-Wan said, voice abundantly friendly, yet somewhat professional in nature.  Y/N bravely glanced at him with a kind expression, genuinely pleased that he remembered. 

“Yes, I am too,” she paused, realizing that unlike before, it wouldn’t be awkward to mention his profession. “And now you’re a Master, with a padawan of your own.  Congratulations,” she said honestly. 

He chuckled, “Thank you.”  Obi-Wan shifted his weight to one foot, turning to look at her profile. “Truly, I am pleased to see you again.”

“I’m a bit surprised you remembered me,” she let slip, growing a bit more comfortable with the exchange.  Her teasing earned another small chuckle from him.

“I don’t easily forget,” was all he said in return, leaning an elbow on the railing. 

Y/N fully turned towards him, met with the same face she saw that night in the club as they both stood at the bar.  Now, his jaw was partially obscured by a beard.  She thought it suited him, as did his longer hair.  She wanted to tell him so, but decided against it, not wanting to break what felt like a fragile moment. 

“I’ve since visited Corellia,” Obi-Wan began again, tone still light. 

Y/N smiled at him, brows slightly raised. “You did?”

“Yes, though as you might expect, I was occupied most of the time.  However, it did not disappoint.”

Y/N realized he was very much still the same, though perhaps more subtle in his cheekiness. 

“I’ve been back as well, though only a few times. It’s still as boring as I remembered,” she joked. 

“Now, I am sure you are longing for boredom as well.”

Something electric shot through her with his words, reminding her more and more of that night.  It appeared as though Obi-Wan did not lie; he does not easily forget.  A small seed of innocent, foolish hope made its way into her heart.  Had he thought about me since then, as I did him?  She quickly reprimanded herself, shaking her head to clear the thought away. 

“You’re right,” she sighed, “For the Senator’s sake rather than mine.”

Obi-Wan paused, not replying for a moment. Y/N couldn’t stop herself from wondering what was going on inside his mind, which puzzle pieces he was trying to fit together.  She had no clue who was attempting to assassinate Padmé, too many possibilities floating around to grasp.  However, she was sure Obi-Wan had a much better idea than herself. 

“It’s a tricky business we both are in, though all things important are difficult.”

Once again, she was infatuated with his wisdom, which had only grown. 

“I bet you are a wonderful master to Anakin.” 

He took the compliment well, not as bashful as he once was. “Thank you, Y/N,” he said her name warmly, resurfacing a slurry of emotions she didn’t know still existed.  All at once she felt ten years younger, enraptured with her name said in his accent, in his voice.  

“I mean it, really.  I could hardly imagine trying to lead someone, teach them what I know.  The whole thought of it makes me feel like I know nothing,” she was letting more and more of her feelings slip, far more than she originally intended.  This morning, she had vowed to be wholly professional, to focus on the job she had to do, not to get caught up in buried emotions.  However, there was something about Obi-Wan’s presence that made her too free with her words.  It was the same way over ten years ago, where she found herself spilling her guts to an almost stranger.  If he stuck around any longer, one of these days she might just get herself into real trouble.

“I’m sure you could, if given the chance.  It takes courage to come to a new place, to build a new life.  That is something you know far more about than I.”  There he went again, melting her from the inside out. 

“Perhaps, and I’d have to bet I’d beat you in a typing contest,” she jested.  

Obi-Wan let out a hearty laugh, unconstricted and full, “I believe you are right.”

The conversation lulled, with Y/N unsure what to say.  Her guards were still up, despite the fact that they were steadily lowering against her will.  She wondered how much she could get away with addressing, which facts were off limits and which were okay to mention.  Obi-Wan seemed to be perfectly comfortable with speaking about everything but the kiss, though she didn’t want to push her luck.  

She settled on something simple, something pertaining to the here and now. “I’m happy Anakin will accompany the Senator, I’m sure she will be safe in his presence.”

Obi-Wan nodded slowly, glancing down for a moment. “His eagerness often worries me, though it may serve him well with his task,” Obi-Wan said. 

“A product of youth,” she commented, amused at the thought of Obi-Wan having to deal with the antics of a young man.  She thought that perhaps once, Obi-Wan had done the same to his Master. 

“Unavoidable, I’m afraid,” Obi-Wan replied effortlessly, turning to look at her face once again.  She felt bare under his gaze, as if he could see through her every shield, each mask she wore.  

“I’m sure with your guidance he will grow into an exemplary Jedi.  I don’t think you could mold him into anything less.” Her flattery was not lost on Obi-Wan, whose ardent smile felt like a flowering bruise, a reminder of his oxymoronic, sweet rejection.  

“Your faith in me surpasses that of myself,” he retorted frivolously, making Y/N chuckle.  After a pause, Obi-Wan spoke again, “How long have you worked for Senator Amidala?”

Y/N thought for a moment, adding up the years in her head. “About four years now.  I hope to work for her as long as she’ll let me.  She is by far the kindest boss I’ve ever had,” she laughed a bit with the thought of begging Padmé to let her stay, offering to do anything but go back to working with the other Senators. 

Obi-Wan smiled to himself, eyes darting around the skyline. “She is a rarity, no doubt.”

“I’m sure you have worked with a fair few Senators.  You must know how…difficult they can be.”

Obi-Wan chuckled with a sigh, seeming surprised by her admission. “Yes, I know what you mean.”

Without thinking, Y/N said what was on her mind, letting it pass through her filters as if it were a smuggler, “I’m glad you have not lost your sense of humor.”

“I need it to deal with Anakin,” he joked, now his turn to surprise Y/N.  

She couldn’t stop herself from giggling girlishly, placing a hand over her mouth.  She glanced at him from the corner of her eye, seeing a mildly devilish look on his face.  

“Your sharp tongue must get you into trouble sometimes,” she teased, pushing the limits a bit further.  

Obi-Wan tilted his head a bit, shrugging slightly. “It only appears amongst friends.”

Friends. The word danced around her head, bouncing all the way to her chest, pulsing against her heartbeat.  She thought that perhaps he was humoring her, throwing her a bone.  He couldn’t possibly think of her as a friend, could he?  Technically, they’ve only known each other a total of three days, which was far too soon to be friends.  Acquaintances, yes.  Friends? No.  While Y/N struggled with the idea that he might just be indulging her, she was suddenly reminded of a detail of their first encounter, one which she played over and over in her head the days following: I should not have allowed myself such an indulgence.  

Obi-Wan glanced back through the glass door, then back to Y/N, who didn’t notice his staring. “Do you still see those whom I met that night?” he asked.

It took a second for Y/N to understand what he meant, remembering he probably never got their names. “Oh, yes, I do.  Well, some of them.  I still see Ripp, whose father owned the club.”

Obi-Wan nodded, chuckling to himself, “They seemed like a lively bunch.”

Y/N laughed, thinking back to the times they had together while in school. “Yes, they were.  Thankfully, we are all doing quite well for ourselves now.”

“I’d say so,” Obi-Wan said genuinely, eyes soft.  

Y/N looked down, unable to meet his gaze. “Did you ever find that man?”

“I believe we did,” it sounded almost like a question, as if he wasn’t quite sure.  

Y/N wanted to comment on the fact that he had told her he doesn’t forget things, but thought that it might come out wrong.  Instead, she focused on the vast expanse of skyscrapers and traffic in front of her.  She could sense Obi-Wan looking at her profile, resurfacing her nerves. 

“You have not lost your wonder,” he said gently, almost a whisper.  Suddenly, she could not stop herself from looking at him, met with his tender expression.  His words confused her, throwing her off the delicate footing she had found herself on.  Her mind raced with endless possibilities, attempting to decide what he expected her to do, what he wanted her to say in return.  

With her breath caught in her throat, she said the only thing that came to mind, “Neither have you.”

He smiled, the kind of smile that seemed too intimate for their odd relationship.  Y/N felt honored to have been on the receiving end of such a smile, especially from Obi-Wan.  The gesture made her weak, pathetically chasing another look like that, completely insatiable.  Amending her earlier thought, Y/N decided that if he stuck around, her truthfulness would not be the only thing to get her in trouble.  It seemed as though there were a million things Obi-Wan could get her to do or say with a simple look towards her or a single suggestion.  It wasn’t because he was charming or persuasive, or even because he was handsome.  No, it was because he listened to her so intently, spoke to her so kindly, and seemed to remember insignificant details from a night which occurred so long ago. 

Y/N fought the urge to reach out and touch this cheek, or at least his arm.  She yearned to feel something which solidified his presence in front of her, anything to tell her he was real and not a ghost conjured up from her memory.  His eyes would have to do for now, sparkling against the midday light, so beautiful Y/N couldn’t possibly have dreamt them.  

“I envy your opinion of me,” Obi-Wan said, still soft but with an air of jest, “But I feel you may be wrong.”

She shook her head instantly, bewildered by his statement.  She wondered how he could possibly think that about himself, while at the same time saying such kind things about herself. 

He laughed quietly, taking his eyes from her.  Mourning the loss of their clear blue color, Y/N stayed staring at face, wanting to soak up every second she had with him on the balcony, where everything seemed simple. 

“I don’t believe that for a second,” she countered.  

He glanced at her with a playful smirk. “For a moment I thought you had grown a bit more shy, but I see that I was wrong.”

She chuckled, feeling embarrassed by his words.  Her whole body was burning hot, despite the high altitude breeze that came whipping past.   

“I’ve just learned when to hold my tongue,” she joked, relaxing a bit as the intensity of the moment began to lift. 

“I only wish Anakn had your skills,” he sounded serious, but Y/N could tell he was joking by his upturned lips and the crinkle on the corners of his eyes.  His sarcasm was new, though it did not feel unnatural, for his wit had always been sharp as a blade.  Y/N giggled to herself, thinking of Obi-Wan talking to his padawan, pestering him with father-like nagging. 

“Something amusing?” Obi-Wan teased, though played it off as if it was a genuine question.  

She shook her head. “No, no,” she faltered for a moment, chuckling to herself, “Are all Jedi as funny as you?”

Obi-Wan sighed as if to think it over, “Perhaps, if you get to know them.” As Y/N was beginning to get caught up in his hidden meaning, he spoke again, “Are all Senatorial aides as diligent as yourself?”

His question caught her a bit off guard, and she wondered if he had peeked into the room and seen her working.  The idea sent butterflies soaring in her belly. 

“No,” she laughed, “But it’s easy to be devoted when Senator Amidala is leading you.”

“You think quite highly of her,” Obi-Wan said a bit curiously.

“Yes,” she answered without thought, “I do.”

“I know how much of a gift it can be to be led by such an admirable example,” Obi-Wan said, voice a bit far off. 

“You’re thinking of your master?” she asked hesitantly, hoping not to overstep her bounds.  Obi-Wan nodded, though his smile had faded.  His eyes, too, were not as bright as they were before.  “I’m sorry, if you don’t want to talk about it-” she rambled, fearing the worst.  

Obi-Wan gave her a sad smile, but his face soon turned neutral. “It’s quite alright.  He died many years ago,” he confessed.  Y/N felt a devastating privilege to have received such an admission, surprised that he gave it so freely.  

“Oh,” she said without thinking, “I’m so sorry, Obi-Wan. I didn’t know.”

“How could you,” he said, unperturbed, the sadness on his face all but washed away.  She wondered where he got his resilience, so that she could get some for herself. 

“He was a good man, and a fine Jedi,” Obi-Wan began again, sounding as if he was speaking only to himself.  Y/N clung to every word, hanging on tightly to anything he chose to tell her. “Though he was a bit more like Anakin than myself.”

Y/N smiled, which soon turned into a grin when Obi-Wan gave her a mischievous sideways glance. “Just think of it as practice.” 

“Yes,” he chuckled, pausing for a moment, “I was lucky to have him, as I am lucky to have Anakin as my padawan,” his tone was deeply warm and full of love.  

Y/N couldn’t believe that he so readily told her about his life in this way, how openly he shared small, intimate details.  While his words alone were not particularly notable, the way he said them told her that he was bearing little pieces of his innermost world.  She wondered how many people were lucky enough to see him like this, punishing herself for assuming that she was special in some way.  Perhaps he was always this open, this unfettered in conversation.  Regardless, she craved a deeper look, even if it was just a peek like a sliver of light coming through a slightly open door.  

After her internal gushing over Obi-Wan’s divulgence, she noticed him looking somewhat hesitant.  It was the first time he faltered since their reintroduction, his expression seeming foreign and unlike his usual self, although Y/N couldn’t deny that she wasn’t the leading expert on the matter.  She cocked her head, flashing him a confused look. 

“What?” she asked, clueless as to what he was thinking. 

He looked down reticently, quickly bringing his eyes back to hers without any shyness.  “Do you have children of your own?” he said it innocently, as if he wasn’t nervous at all.  

Thinking perhaps she had misread his expression, Y/N laughed a bit at the question, “No, I do not.”

“Then you are free of that particular headache,” he chuckled, and Y/N laughed along.

“I can barely take care of myself,” she joked.

“You doubt yourself far too often,” Obi-Wan paused, watching her face, “and ignore how far you have come.”

His kindness spread through her like the tranquil waters of Corellia she used to swim in during the summer months, waves falling in a steady ebb and flow.  She sighed, staring at her hands which rested on the railing.  What could she possibly say to him, what words could express what she felt while also concealing the attraction which had begun to float to the surface?

Before she could think of a reply, Dormé opened the door, causing each of them to turn. 

“Our meal is ready,” she said with a small smile.

“Thank you, Dormé,” Y/N replied, heading back into the apartment with Obi-Wan following behind.  Padmé was already sitting at the table, along with Anakin.  Y/N and Dormé sat down opposite the pair. 

“Join us, Obi-Wan,” Padmé offered.  

Obi-Wan looked a bit hesitant.  “I’ll keep guard, milady,” he said, walking over to the entrance near the turbolift. 

“Captain Typho is on watch,” Padmé insisted, “Please, come eat.”

Obi-Wan sighed, giving in quickly to Padmé’s request.  He took a seat beside Anakin, directly in front of Y/N.  She grew a bit nervous, forced to face him directly, but her attention was diverted as the meals were placed on the table. 

“So, how did you two meet?” Padmé asked Obi-Wan and Y/N, beginning to tuck into her food.  Y/N should have known the question was coming, but she was a bit bewildered nonetheless.  Her mouth opened to answer, but she was at a loss for words. 

“I was on a small mission here in Coruscant,” Obi-Wan began cooly, “Y/N was kind enough to offer a bit of help.”

Anakin smirked to himself as Padmé looked towards Y/N, unaware that she was currently fighting off jitters. Y/N nodded, knowing that she should speak. 

“He was looking for someone, but I was no help,” she said in an even tone, picking at her meal.  

“Surely something must have happened,” Anakin commented, a bit of mockery in his voice, “How else would you remember each other?”

Obi-Wan smiled, completely nonchalant.  Y/N was left wondering how nervous she truly looked, hoping she was playing it as well as Obi-Wan, but seriously doubting her abilities. 

“If I am remembering correctly, a friend of yours knew the man that I was searching for,” he answered, taking a bite. 

“Yes,” she said with a breath, regaining her composure, “His father had kicked him out of the club some time before.”

“The club?” Anakin asked with a raised brow, a smirk playing upon his lips.  Realizing her mistake, Y/N felt heat creep up her cheeks.  Padmé laughed a bit, though Y/N could not tell if it was due to her reaction or Anakins. 

“Yes, Anakin,” Obi-Wan clipped, side-eyeing his padawan, “You’re no stranger to them.” 

Obi-Wan’s jab did not seem to affect Anakin, who looked rather pleased with himself.  Y/N focused on her food, not wanting to face the eyes which were surly looking at her.  Normally, she wouldn’t be embarrassed if people knew she went to clubs, especially in her younger years.  However, there was something off about mentioning it in front of a Senator and two Jedi.  It felt as though she had admitted to committing a strange sort of crime.  

“What an odd string of fate,” Padmé said pleasantly, smiling at the others. “It is not often that we are reunited with such fleeting acquaintanceships in a city this large.”

“You are right, milady,” Obi-Wan said, seemingly unbothered by the whole ordeal. 

“Yes, it is quite funny,” Y/N forced herself to say, fearing that her silence may enact suspicion. 

Thankfully, no one brought it up for the rest of the meal.  At first they discussed politics, though soon Obi-Wan went on to share a few stories of missions he and Anakin had gone on over the years.  Y/N listened with interest, holding onto every word.  Obi-Wan was an excellent storyteller, she realized, finding herself content just to hear his voice.  When the meal was finished, Padmé and Dormé went to discuss the details of the plan with Obi-Wan, excusing themselves to speak privately in another room.  Y/N was left with Anakin, who was to keep watch while Obi-Wan was occupied.   

With her holopad in the other room, Y/N was left to kill time on her own.  She walked over to the large windows, watching the speeders fly past, criss-crossing lanes along the skyline.  She soon began to worry about Padmé, wishing that whoever was behind the attacks would somehow slip up and reveal themselves.  It was a futile hope, but there was nothing else she could do.  So deep in thought, she did not hear Anakin coming up to stand beside her.  

His voice came without warning, “I have a feeling there is more to you than meets the eye.” 

She jumped, placing a hand on her chest as her head whipped around to see him.  He chuckled at her unease, and she gave him a weary smile.  However, it soon left when she processed his words. 

“What do you mean?” she asked, still a bit fretful from the scare. 

He let out a slow chuckle, looking out the window instead of at her. “I know my master well, better than most.  Which means I know when he is concealing the truth.”

She inhaled shakily, her hands coming together, fingers winding around with nervousness.  Something in her face or tone must have slipped during lunch, letting Anakin in on her secret.  She bit her lip, wondering what to say and how to deny it.  

He smirked, eyeing her steadily. “Something else happened.”

She shook her head, deciding to act as if she had no clue what he was talking about. “No, it really is as simple as what he said.”

Anakin laughed again, “You are a terrible liar.”

She wanted to groan, knowing it was fruitless to play ignorant.  She decided on a new game plan: tell him as little as it takes to satisfy his curiosity. 

“Fine,” she surrendered, wavering a bit, “I bought him a drink. A single drink.”

Anakin stared at her, spurring her on.  As she gave her a resolute look back, he raised his brows. “You know I know that's not all.”

She faltered, feeling his provocation pulling her towards his will.  Unwisely, she had thought her admission would be enough for him.  

“I promise not to tell my Master,” he offered.

After a long pause, she gave in, knowing he would not easily let the matter go. “We got talking, just small talk.  I asked him if he’d ever been around Coruscant while he’s not working, and he said no, and I…” she trailed off, scared that she would reveal too much if she went any further.  

Anakin’s eyes lit at the confession, and he let out a happy sigh. “You see, I knew my Master wasn’t as good of a padawan as he says he was,” he laughed, “He’s probably reeling, worrying that I would find out.”

She shot him an angry look, afraid that he would tell Obi-Wan of her indiscretion.  Anakin rolled his eyes, waving a hand in her direction. 

“Don’t worry, I’m not going to tell, even though I want to,” he drawled, looking proud that he had gotten the secret from her.  He crossed his arms over his chest, standing tall.  Y/N would have been infuriated if her embarrassment wasn’t so strong.  While Y/N overthought their interaction, running it over in her head until the words sounded foreign, Anakin strolled off as if nothing had happened.  

She was left a bit stunned until Padmé, Dormé, and Obi-Wan emerged from the room.  Obi-Wan went over to Anakin, telling him that he would have to leave.  He sounded quite urgent, but his composure did not waiver.  Anakin only nodded, and with that Obi-Wan left without a goodbye.  Usually so polite, Y/N guessed that the matter likely pertained to the assassination attempts, which had doubled over the course of a single day.  

Padmé walked over to Y/N, calm and collected as she always was. 

“Y/N, you are free to go back to the Senate,” her voice was tenacious, strong-willed as always.

Y/N nodded. “Yes, milady.  Would you be needing anything else from me before I leave?”

“No, that's alright,” Padmé answered with a smile, “I’m not sure when I will be in contact with you next, so give all messages to Jar Jar, who will be representing me in my absence.”

Y/N bowed, going over to her workspace to collect her things.  She had a feeling Padmé would be getting ready to depart tomorrow, and it was safer for her to have Y/N know as little as possible.  She was already a bit surprised they let her know that Padmé would be leaving Coruscant, though she had been working with her for some time.  Y/N was warmed by the thought that the Senator trusted her so much, feeling a bit proud of the work she had done thus far. 

Y/N returned to the Senate to get the rest of her work completed, not even realizing that she might never see Obi-Wan again until the end of the day.  When the thought came, a wave of sadness drifted all around her, especially since she hadn’t had the chance to say goodbye.  In spite of all her efforts, she felt the same as she did over a decade ago, sitting on the bench in the Plaza as Obi-Wan faded into the crowd.  It was stupid, foolish, and entirely immature, but her mind could not release its hook from their conversation on the balcony.  She went over every word, every expression, each twitch of the lips.  Instead of pushing the memory away as she should, she held it tighter, embracing it with open arms.  It only appears amongst friends. You have not lost your wonder. You doubt yourself far too often, and ignore how far you have come. I don’t easily forget, I don’t easily forget, I don’t easily forget.  It was if his words were echoing around the empty office, fading out into space only to begin once more.  The letters rolled on top of each other, spinning into a melodious song sung in his pleasant voice. 

As she left work, she walked slowly down the wide corridors of the Senate building, arms limp at her sides.  A haze of melancholy enveloped every step, dulling the click of her shoes against the polished stone floor.  During the taxi ride home, she looked out of the window like she always did, following the lines of the buildings with her eyes, locking onto a particular point until it was lost in her peripheral.  The noise of the city outside was dulled in her ears, as if she was listening underwater.  She thought of Obi-Wan, his copper hair, his aquamarine eyes, then dismissed it, back and forth into oblivion.  She told herself it was not by fate that they met again, that his words were simply friendly and meant nothing, though her efforts were in vain.  Every irrational bone in her body overpowered her feeble attempts to break them or expose their falsehoods.  It was a losing battle, so she pushed it off as best she could, telling the soldiers it could wait until morning. 

Her head pounded to the beat of the alarm clock like a punishment for the day before.  Turning off the vexatious beeping, she headed straight for the ‘fresher to take some pills for the pain.  She shook her head at herself in the mirror, tsking her half-witted hope that somehow Obi-Wan would fall for her again.  Even if he did happen to feel the same, he was older now, not so impulsive.  He’d never let the past repeat itself.  Y/N had to remind herself that she was an adult now too, that she would have to get over her childish infatuation and move on.  It wasn’t as if she’d never dated anyone since then.  They were never quite like him, though.

In order to regain some sense of normalcy, she went about her routine in the same way she always did.  When it was time to dress, she found herself staring into her closet at all the clothes she had hanging there, her nice outfit piled in the hamper.  She chuckled at her ridiculous decision to wear what she did the day before, somehow thinking that it was important to look nice for a man she could never have.  

The taxi ride to the Senate was longer than usual, traffic congested but thankfully never completely stalled.  It was only a few hours into the day and already it was turning out awful, though Y/N’s patience was thin to start out with.  Unlike the previous evening, she walked quickly through the Senate to her office, giving the people she passed a cordial, but somewhat frigid smile.  She didn’t know if she’d be able to get through the pleasantries of “how are you?” or “nice to see you again”, thinking it better just to get to her office and hole up there until she was ready to go back home.  On the bright side, today her mind would remain busy with work, unable to muse over other things. 

Only a few people popped into the office that morning, mostly for a quick word and nothing more.  It was a blessing that everyone was incredibly swamped as well, unable to take any down time to chat.  Every once in a while, when Y/N wondered if Padmé was off planet yet, or something came in mentioning the assassination, she was practically forced into thinking about Obi-Wan.  With how much he was likely occupied, she thought it would be highly improbable that he was thinking of her at all, even in passing.  His work was important, far more important than her own, demanding diligent, careful attention.  Despite these small reminders of him, they did not stick around like they had last night, remaining fleeting and pulled from her mind when she looked back at her holopad.  

It was the afternoon, the sun over its peak, slowly descending over the city.  A ray shined through the curtainless window, specks of dust revealed in the air which looked almost like falling snow.  Deep in thought, Y/N jumped as the door wooshed open, her head shooting up from the holopad.  As she looked at the door, her breath caught in her throat, making it feel as though she had forgotten how to breathe.  There in her office, Obi-Wan was standing, his brown robe skimming the floor, eyes wide as if he was surprised by his own entrance.  Y/N stood abruptly, her chair pushing out behind her and bumping the wall.  

“Obi-Wan,” she said in shock, or perhaps as a question.  He took a step into the room, then went to take another, though stopped in his tracks. 

“Y/N, I,” he paused, swallowing, “I never got a chance to say goodbye. I’m leaving now, and I am unsure as to when I will return.”

“Oh,” was all she could muster, still paralyzed and unmoving.   

He looked down for a moment, hands clasped together. “It’s been a pleasure,” he said with a small smile.  She didn’t return it, still too stunned to do anything but stare at him.  Obi-Wan promptly turned and left, the door closing behind him.  

She just stood there, her thoughts a thousand miles high.  She questioned if Obi-Wan had really just come into the office or if it was a figment of her imagination, created by her night-long mulling over of the day before.  Her breaths remained shallow as her thoughts caught up to themselves, their summersaults ending with a finale of fireworks erupting between her ears.  She was baffled by his entrance, completely unaware of his motives.  Gradually, all else dropped away but her need to find Obi-Wan, to ask him if had really come back only to say goodbye, or if he had something else to say.  Her mind willed her legs to move, but they stayed still, frozen in time.  

“Come on,” she whispered to herself, not hearing her own voice, “run.”

With that her body finally obeyed, and she rushed to the door, huffing as she pressed the button to open it.  Her feet carried her flying down the hall, not noticing the people who stopped to stare at her along the way.  She skirted around every corner, the white walls and metal doors a single blur like the swipe of a wide paintbrush.  When she came upon the exit to the landing platforms, it was as if the wide door was encased in the glowing light of a new sun, calling her to come through to the other side.  Thankfully, the door was motion censored, saving her the precious few seconds that would be needed to open it.  As she emerged, the sun shined in her eyes, and she placed a hand on her forehead as a shield.  Frantically, she looked around for Obi-Wan, scanning every ship for movement, only to find every ship near to her vacant.  

In the distance, she saw the loading ramp of a ship descend, euphoric at the sight of Obi-Wan’s brown robe.  She began running towards him, sprinting faster as she saw him beginning to board.  Fearing that she would be too late, she called out his name.  Obi-Wan's face was hidden within the ship, though she could see him stop.  He looked down and saw her, though Y/N wasn’t close enough to tell the details of his expression.  As she neared, the realization of what she was doing set in, bringing about a wave of uncertainty.  However, it washed away when she saw Obi-Wan’s face. 

She stood at the base of the ramp, panting from her impromptu workout.  She locked her eyes with Obi-Wan’s, which were soft, brilliantly gleaming as they stared across her face.  Her once racing mind was all but empty, filled only with the serene happiness of having caught Obi-Wan before he took off.  Neither she or Obi-Wan said a word, though he smiled thoughtfully like he had a secret.  Stars, he must think I’m some kind of crazy person.

Despite her lack of shame or uneasiness, she fumbled with her words, not knowing how to express what she wanted to.  

“I,” she began, a doting smile beginning to peek through, “I feel like this is completely foolish,” she paused, bringing her hands up to her face for a moment, “Stars, I just can’t let you leave without telling you.”

“Tell me what?” he murmured, his smile growing slightly more noticeable. 

Her gaze drifted from his, overwhelmed by her boiling face and heart which was beating so fast she ought to be concerned.  Even though she had thought about doing this all last night, running over what she would say and what she would do, the reality of it was unfamiliar territory.  She was flying blind, attempting to find anything that could point her in the right direction.  

Finding a bit of courage left, she glanced back into her eyes, crystal blue and clear.  Within them she saw something new, the knowledge of what he was thinking in this very moment. Without another word or thought, she leapt up the ramp towards him, following all the instincts she had at her disposal.  Throwing her arms around his neck, she crashed her lips to his, a sparkling fuzz running down her spine and into her limbs.  Much differently than last time, Obi-Wan did not hesitate to return her kiss, falling into it along with her.  He held her body to his, pulling her a bit off of the floor and fully into his embrace. Their lips moved as if they had kissed a thousand times, synchronized in each other's affection.  She felt the tickle of his beard against her cheek, his hands gripping her waist tighter as she gasped.  

Breathless, she pulled away, only enough to suck in a gulp of much needed hair.  Obi-Wan did the same, breath uneven and shaky as if he had just been in battle.  Y/N stared into his eyes, watching as their surprise settled into something else, something tender.  A blush had formed upon his cheeks, peeking out from his beard and dotting across his nose.  The rush in her ears was gone, replaced by the low hum of the ship and the soft sound of her hands upon his robes.  She held him tighter, dreading the moment when she would finally have to let go. 

“Will I see you later?” she asked, not bothering to disguise her pleading and desperate tone.  She didn’t know what she was expecting him to do, but his wide grin pleasantly surprised her. 

“Yes,” he said with a long exhale, studying her face.  She grew warm with the attention, even though they had just done much more than look at each other.  Something about his gaze was always so intense, more passionate than she could easily handle.  It was as if flustering her came naturally to him, like he was born to make her shy.

Finally, he slowly set her down, and she relaxed her beskar-like grip she had on his shoulders.  Her hands settled on his chest briefly before falling down at her sides, already missing his touch. She was unsure what to say, but as usual, Obi-Wan was not at a similar loss for words. 

“Perhaps it is the absence, but you’ve grown even more beautiful,” the fondness of his voice did not escape her, bringing about a buzzing feeling in her stomach. 

She felt her knees nearly buckle, growing impossibly weak at his words.  With them, all her fears and worries about herself subsided, and she felt like the most beautiful person in the galaxy.  Forcing herself not to look down at her feet, she gave Obi-Wan a sickly sweet smile, agonized by how much she cared for him in so little time.  He was smiling as well, pleased by her total disarmament.  She longed to tell him how handsome he was, how well he had grown into himself, but she felt the time quickly slipping away.  Knowing he needed to leave soon, she stepped back, still grinning ear to ear.  She bit her lip, giddy with the reemergence of her clandestine romance, now with the promise that Obi-Wan wasn’t gone for good. 

“Be safe,” she said softly, making her way partly down the ramp.  Obi-Wan chuckled, looking self assured as he stood in the entrance of his ship. 

“I always am,” he answered, voice smooth and warm like Gatalentian tea. 

Mustering up every bit of her willpower she had, Y/N turned and walked down the ramp and into the landing platform.  The ramp closed behind her, and she rushed off near the entrance of the Senate building.  She watched as the ship powered up, rising into the air before zooming away all too quickly.  It was bitter to watch him leave, though their parting felt parsecs different than the last time.  From all she knew about him, Obi-Wan was not in the habit of lying, and her chances of seeing him again were close to certain.  With his ship out of sight, Y/N dreamily walked back into the Senate, feeling light as a feather.

[jedi-enthusiast]

Debunking the "The Jedi are Evil" Theory Made by The Film Theorists PT 6

Point 6 - The Jedi Left Shimi in Slavery

Continuing on, Matthew says this:

"In fact, the Jedi care so little about the relationship between parent and child, that in the Prequel trilogy Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan literally leave Anakin's mother on Tatooine to continue living in slavery in Episode 1. We're told that they take Anakin, but not his mother because they don't have the money to buy her freedom from Watto."

WRONG!

And, what's funny is, he plays the exact clip that shows this is wrong right after he makes this statement.

They didn't free her because Watto refused, likely because he didn't want to lose both his slaves in one day, but not because they didn't have enough money or wouldn't pay the price Watto set.

---

Matthew quote, continued:

"But then a decade goes by without him ever following up. At no point during the 10 year period did anyone bother to think- 'Hey, maybe we should, you know, go check on Anakin's mother to make sure she's alive or, I don't know, maybe go back to buy her freedom since we have the money to do it, and we've won the war, and her son happens to be the most powerful Force-user in history.'"

First of all, Qui-Gon fucking dies like the day after freeing Anakin--so he can't follow up--and Obi-Wan, for a nice chunk of time afterwards I'd say, is a little too busy dealing with the grief of losing his Master (or his "parent," since obviously Matthew thinks parental relationships are the only ones that matter), the mental turmoil of killing a Sith, and also the sheer whiplash of "holy shit I'm now responsible for a whole other human being, what do I do???"

Like, there's literally a whole thing in a book where Obi-Wan is like "does Anakin know how to swim???" so I think there were some more pressing matters on his mind than worrying about Shmi.

I will also say that in another video Matthew says that Shmi and Anakin were just fine as slaves because Watto is shown to "treat them well," so he can't really use both arguments in this situation. If Shmi was "just fine" in slavery, then why should the Jedi go back to check on her or free her?

Either she's fine and the Jedi have no reason to go check on her, or she's not fine and the Jedi need to.

One or the other, buddy.

Plus, only Obi-Wan, Qui-Gon, and Anakin knew about Shmi. Qui-Gon dies, Obi-Wan is juggling enough things as is, and Anakin clearly never tells anyone else about his mother--so what was anyone else supposed to do about someone they didn't even know existed?

Second...you're getting your movies and also literally everything that happens mixed up.

The Jedi do not "win the war," a war fucking starts--which spreads them thin across the galaxy to the point that they can barely take care of the problems right under their noses without another fire starting somewhere else that they need to get to, so I doubt they'd have the time to go searching for Shmi. Plus, at the end of that war, the Jedi get fucking genocided...idk what you want them to do while they're getting murdered in the halls of their home.

Now, if you're talking about the mess on Naboo, that is over at the end of TPM--not in the "10 year span" you're talking about. It wouldn't be a stretch to say that, if Obi-Wan did go back to try and buy Shmi's freedom, that Watto's answer would be the same, and what would be the point of Obi-Wan going back a day after Watto already refused to ask the same question again?

And why isn't Padme held to the same standard?

Why aren't you asking why she--with more money, power, time, and resources--didn't go back to free Shmi?

Interesting double standard there.

---

Matthew quote continued:

"What makes the death of Anakin's mother all the more tragic, is that all of it could have been prevented. He reaches her just as she's in her dying breaths. Had he arrived days, or even hours earlier, his journey to Tatooine might not have ended with him having to bury her. The only reason that Anakin even knew about her is because he could sense her suffering."

Yeah, it could have been prevented...if Anakin had actually told anyone about his dreams.

In AotC Anakin mentions to Obi-Wan that he's been having dreams about his mother, but he doesn't elaborate. And when Obi-Wan tries to talk to him about those vague dreams that Anakin is telling him fuck-all about, Anakin switches the subject to Padme and doesn't bring it up to Obi-Wan again.

The Jedi are shown again and again to be extremely empathetic and, as I said before, they don't bar people from visiting their biological families if that's what they choose. If Anakin had actually told Obi-Wan "I've been having dreams of my mother dying on Tatooine and I can literally sense her pain and suffering," odds are that Obi-Wan would have encouraged him to go and check on her.

And it's made clear that Anakin was having those dreams for a while. His mother was gone for a month. If, at any point in time Anakin had actually told someone about his dreams, he probably could've gone to check on her earlier and would've been able to save her.

The only reason that Anakin wasn't supposed to go later on in the movie was because he was literally the sole person responsible for the safety of a very important Senator who people were actively trying to assassinate.

[obislittleone]

Ohh I love HOM so much. I‘be been wanting to ask this for a long time actually! Who knew of obi’s and little one’s relationship? And how did they find out?

The list of who actually knew about Obi and Little One goes as follows, chronologically.

Padme (she was the first person that Little One confided in about her feelings)

Ahsoka (she was accidentally revealed the truth on the ship for that one mission)

Anakin (ahsoka told him... honestly valid tho)

Mak Lotor (through his own speculation as well as personal interaction, he gathered the pieces together long before he even admitted to knowing anything... Little one just gaslit him so badly he was afraid to say something lmaoo)

Various other padawans (don't get me wrong, they were very secretive... but obi and little one still had a connection like no other padawan had with their master... so obviously rumors amongst younger generations of padawans and jedi started up, and since no one put then to rest, everyone just eventually assumed it was official. Though they would never say anything to the higher ups, as they didn't believe the same way older jedi did.)

Dex (yes, I included Dex. Whenever Obi-Wan needed information he knew he could go to Dex, and likewise, Whenever he wanted to talk to someone about something he couldn't confide with other Jedi, he went to Dex. That's why when Little One showed up in the diner, even though there was mass hysteria going on, Dex didn't hesitate to help her and Mak, because he knew what she meant to Obi-Wan, and wanted to help protect her.)

Rex (i think it was probably just accidental word of mouth from ahsoka and anakin, they honestly don't know how to keep a secret from him, even intentionally.)

The entire 212th (listen as soon as cody know something, they all know. Of course, good soldiers follow orders, and they were told to keep quiet about it from their commander, so obviously they ain't gonna spread it to anyone but each other lol)

Mace Windu (this kinda was hinted at with the plot starting in chapter 43. When they were trapped, i think Mace got a better understanding of why their connection was not only important to the Jedi, but also important as a symbol of the future generations. He too has probably loved many people but could never embrace them the way he wanted to because of the Jedi code. I think at first he was almost jealous of the way they behaved, even though under his watch it was mostly just as master and padawan, Otheriwse just as good friends... but after that situation, he felt hope for future generations to not have to be so tightly wound about the laws of attachment. That they could cling to those they love as long as it benefits the jedi order and makes them stronger. After they were rescued from being trapped, Mace saw the dedication Obi-Wan had to finding her. If one thing coukd be said, he was certain that this entire was was going to be won by Obi-Wan, if only to keep her safe, and i think that's when his approval settled in. Now, he by no means ever receivedactual confirmation, but let'sbe so for real, he absolutely knew about their relationship.)

Master Yoda (his feelings through meditation were always very in tune, but he never set his mind to try and confirm something like so many other did. His suspicion did not outweigh his need to just feel the force around him, therefore he never went searching for answers as he believed whatever was happening would reveal itself in time. I think that's why he was genuinely a bit in shock at the revelation of obi and little one, and when he dropped that baby bomb during order 66. Yoda has suspicion like all the other masters, and he'd also heard the rumors, but since he never went searching for answers, he never actually had any confirmation that the speculation was true. Until it was all dumped on him at once in a time of need. I think that's why his compassion for them was so strong. He wasn't angry or even disappointed, he just knew that the world around them was crashing down and he wanted to keep them both safe.)

Okay so like this is my list, i didn't give specific names to the other jedi/padawans that knew simply because there were probably a lot that didn't say anything based on what they witnessed. The one in the Kenobi series was definitely one of them, I think I signaled that pretty well tho lol

[mrv3000]

I rewatched The Clone Wars and things I'd forgotten:

▪ Just how much Padme is pure chaos. She probably even has wacky adventures when she's not on screen. Padme has her own shit going on and sometimes she needs to steal speeder bikes, ok?

▪ It explicitly states that Jedi had been taking out slave traders. A common fandom complaint I see is that supposedly Jedi turned a blind eye to slavery in the galaxy. But the show literally has a slave trader bitching about how the Jedi had shut them down. So not so much a blind eye but rather doing what they can. (I did space math and there's like 1 Jedi for every population of over 1200 Earths. And that's even before the war took them away from what their usual role was.)

▪ Jedi have basically all-access galaxy passes. Even Padme, who's a frickin galactic senator, needed to use Ahsoka's credentials to sneak places. (Did I mention that Padme = chaos gremlin?)

▪ lol Maul you freak

▪ I'd forgotten it was actually Obi-Wan's idea to keep Anakin (as well as Ahsoka, Satine, Padme, etc.) in the dark about faking his death. Sometimes fandom likes to think that it was other mean Jedi (the Council) who forced Obi-Wan to do it, but nope it was Obi-Wan. (Yoda was even 😬 about it the whole time and finally was the one to tell Anakin the truth.) Without getting into a whole meta about the practicalities and necessities so on… Sorry, Obi-Wan, it was still a fairly shitty thing to do.

HOWEVER, it's after the fake death arc that we see more instances of the "two halves of a single warrior" like when Obi-Wan and Anakin jointly fight Dooku on the Pyke's planet. You'd think that we'd see more of a rift between them after the fake death mess, but instead they start to go hive mind. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

▪ I'd forgotten how the tone gets progressively darker as the show goes on. It obviously winds up dark because of Order 66, but you can see things spinning out of control much earlier, and you're starting to get a body count of important characters seasons before it.

▪ Did Palpatine orchestrate a Scipio invasion in order to deal with Anakin's relationship problems? I mean, yeah, he got control of the banks by doing that but…🤔

▪ Jar Jar and Mace buddy cop adventure. 😃

▪ I forgot that the Jedi Council actually discovered they'd been manipulated into fighting the war and the Sith had been playing both sides. But they felt they had no other option but to keep going and try to win it.

▪ I did remember that becoming a Force Ghost was a thing you had to do rather than an automatic Jedi Afterlife, but I didn't remember that it's sort of stated that the only reason Yoda (and presumably Obi-Wan) were granted this Force Ghost knowledge was because it was necessary to be there for Luke even if they died so he could be trained. In other words there apparently needed to be a Reason for Force Ghosting. So it's extremely hilarious that Obi-Wan bypasses all that in order to immediately Force Ghost Anakin when he dies. There's no purpose for Anakin to be a ghost other than Obi-Wan wanted him to be. 🤣 (And then later on Luke and Leia became Force Ghosts for…pretty much no reason, but there goes Obi-Wan again probably!)

▪ I didn't remember that Anakin messed with Ahsoka's lightsabers and turned them blue lol. And of course Ahsoka's reaction is 🙄

▪ Finally, I didn't forget this but I was just so amused that every time Anakin did something morally questionable the soundtrack started in with the Imperial March. 😆

[moltengoldveins]

yeah no, I think the realization that I’m older than Anakin Skywalker in the second prequel is doing something to my brain. yall. Y’all, he was a child. He was nineteen. He wasn’t even in his twenties. Say what you will about the Jedi culture (I have… so many thoughts. Most are positive, with a few glaring negatives) it obviously did not work for him, and it was not supporting or caring for him the way he needed, and nobody got him out. There was no way out. No “hold out until you graduate, then get an apartment away from your family and find peace” no “leave that group of friends and find people who love you” he had Obi Wan, Palpatine, and Padme. Obi Wan made it quite clear that Jedi weren’t Allowed to love the way Anakin had been taught love was supposed to work, and he clearly didn’t explain how Jedi love worked. Not well enough for Anakin to internalize it around the screaming background noise of suspicion and slavery. Palpatine was a Sith. And Anakin married Padme. We’re literally never shown evidence that he made other close friends in the Jedi, or anywhere else. Obi Wan, traumatized oddball with a maverick master and a years-long gap in his padawan training that he was, had Quinlan, had Windu, had Yoda, had Bant, had Dex. He had People. Anakin did not. I’m kinda… kinda loosing my mind over that, cause I know how bad that can get. I’ve had people now for a few years. I didn’t, for nearly two decades. I am rather uniquely situated to be sympathetic. That doesn’t excuse how badly Anakin screwed up but damn if it doesn’t explain it. I am older than he was. I’m really still a kid. I’m in college. I’m learning how to balance a sleep schedule. I’m taking meds for the first time. I’m new to making friends. he’s married. He’s battlefield-knighted, thrust into a spotlight, and told-but-not-told that it’s His Responsibility to end this war. He’s holding dying men. He’s raising a thirteen year old girl who’s never been trained for a conflict bigger than a diplomatic dispute. He’s cradling his beaten and violated mother in his arms. She doesn’t have enough breath to finish telling him she loves him before she’s gone. I’m pretty sure I woulda snapped, too. I’m pretty sure I woulda snapped sooner. I dunno if my nigh-unhealthy adherence to my oddly specific moral code (no violence against children, ever, period) would have stopped me in the Temple, or at the Tusken camp, but I woulda done horrible things in his situation. I think we all would have, and it makes me uncomfortable when people say that Anakin is some kind of monster. I think we like pretending that there’s some inherent difference between Bad People and Good People that starts at birth. There isn’t. We’re all fallen. We’re all entirely capable and Actually Rather Prone to evil in all its forms, yes including that one. you are capable of that level of evil. The whole point of these stories is to show you how easy it is to ‘fall,’ how convenient it is to reach for the darkness, how quickly you could find yourself lost. You are capable, in certain circumstances, of committing atrocities. You are. We all are. We are lucky enough to be born with decent parents, with a supportive community, and a lack of significant influences to the ‘dark side.’ But there is no difference between you and i and a murderer in our levels of ‘inherent soul goodness’ or whatever, just a difference in our stubborn adherence to what is good and right. Our choices are our own, yea, but they are always human choices. There has never been a choice made by someone that could not have, in another circumstance, been made by anyone else.

[sylvies-chen]

is titling your metas too tacky? I don’t know but here’s some ramblings on

reading anakin’s arc in ROTS as a journey of mental illness:

I wanna preface this by saying I’m not a mental health professional so this information and analysis is not expertly informed. This is based off of very mild research that I’ve done as well as just my lived experience with how I’ve witnessed mental illness in the people I know and love. If I say anything that is ignorant, please do not hesitate to respectfully let me know.

••••••••

First off, it’s well worth establishing that Anakin’s main grappling moments before his true turn to evil in episode 3 were caused by the fear of losing Padme. And when you see the way the news of her pregnancy affects him, it’s really easy to see that news/piece of information as Anakin’s central stressor or trigger. So it’s very important to note that whatever mental illnesses I talk about here would also have been exacerbated by both that fact and by Palpatine’s influence and manipulation.

Anakin’s big outburst with order 66 and his fight with Padme and Obi Wan could all speak to it being an episode of psychosis. Psychosis can be triggered by something as mundane as an extreme disruption in sleep— which was true for Anakin from the minute Padme tells Anakin she’s pregnant. Interestingly, he’s had a history of sleep loss since AOTC too, briefly mentioning to Obi Wan that he doesn’t sleep well anymore.

Further, psychotic episodes or disorders will contain one or more of five categories: delusions, hallucinations, disorganized thought, disorganized behavior, and negative symptoms. We know already that both in AOTC and ROTS, he’s plagued with visions. (This one’s just obvious. Visions… dreams��� hallucinations… Just because they actually come true doesn’t mean it isn’t a form of hallucination!! He’s seeing things that aren’t yet real!!!) But the twisted logic Anakin develops leading him to equate the mass murder of younglings with doing the right thing is akin to disorganized thought and delusion. His main delusion, obviously, is that he has to do unspeakable things and be a sith or else Padme will die in childbirth and this is the only way he can save her. This is close to what’s called a nihilistic delusion: when someone believes major catastrophes will occur if not for performing a certain action.

Now, sleep loss obviously doesn’t cause psychosis on its own but moreso is what pulls the trigger on psychosis in someone who’s been exposed to trauma or is already very mentally ill. That then begs the question: what are the broader underlying conditions to Anakin’s psychosis?

The most obvious answer is the trauma he suffered at such a young age. Anakin was the oldest youngling to have ever been recruited by the jedi. He had already grown to know the love of his mother, especially since it was the only true love he really had in his life up until that point, and then was forced to walk away from it. He also knew powerlessness, and knew the degrading nature of being someone’s property. Like even as a kid, you understand the lack of autonomy that comes with slavery. Oh, and as if that wasn’t enough, his mother had to be brutally tortured and killed! And as reckless as Anakin was at the beginning of AOTC, he wasn’t outright violent until then. Losing the first thing he ever knew to love and protect is a deeply scarring trauma, especially when it happens before you reach the age of twenty.

So trauma does play a significant part in triggering the psychosis in the 3rd quarter of ROTS, especially because having visions of losing Padme that were so similar to the visions he had of his mother dying, re-opened his trauma, sort of akin to retraumatization as often seen in people with PTSD.

However, many signifcant aspects of his character point not to PTSD, but to a type of dissociative disorder. We see so many small signs of complete dissociation in Anakin in ROTS, and hints of it in AOTC as well when he says he’s not supposed to be feeling angry, that there’s a war inside him, that he isn’t the jedi he was meant to be, etc. Already, he has a lot of identity confusion, a key component to dissociative disorders. To some extent, how could he not? He’s been pried from his mother’s hands and has been told by dozens of jedi and other people who he is and isn’t supposed to be since the age of 9. It’s not exactly giving him healthy and reasonable standards to live up to, nor is it giving him any room to embrace an identity of his own creation in any way. Before then it was Tatooine, and it’s not exactly like being a slave held space for him to really form and express an identity then either, apart from the identity of loving son. (The dramatic reaction to her death is starting to make more sense now, yeah?)

The depersonalization and derealization are very present in him, especially when he starts to confuse his dreams for reality/being set in stone and grapples with wondering who he even is anymore. Again, those two things are staples of dissociative disorders, which were likely set off and exacerbated by his trauma from childhood and youth.

Such a major component to the argument that Anakin has some dissociative disorder is the paranoia we see practically oozing out of Anakin’s pores by the end of ROTS. (Oozing like lava- I SAID NOTHING CARRY ON.) A huge part of the paranoia is Palpatine’s creation, because he wanted Anakin trusting no one so that it’d be easier to have him eating out of the palm of his hand. But extreme paranoia is indicative of mental illness, and you know it’s not a healthy and stable Anakin who’s shouting “LIAR!” at the love of his life and mother of his children, who’s lying to her hours before that, who’s distrusting of the man who, as he says in AOTC, is the closest thing he has to a father. Padme and Obi Wan were the people he loved most in the world, and so seeing the paranoia turn him against them is so heartbreaking, because it’s the true indicator that this is not the true Anakin we’re dealing with. We are not our worst moments. We are our happiest ones. And Anakin on Mustafar was not a mentally stable Anakin. Hell, with the dissociative disorder’s symptoms at play too, it was hardly even Anakin at all.

We also see partial hints of amnesia in Vader/Anakin, most notably when Palpatine has to tell him/remind him that he choked out his own wife. There’s such a devastating tragedy to Anakin asking “Where’s Padme?” like a dog who doesn’t realize he killed the crow he held in his teeth minutes before, and wants it for a companion to play with once more. But it also shows memory loss, a key component of dissociative disorders, further supporting the idea that Vader is of Palpatine’s creation, whom he metaphorically implanted into Anakin during his phases of dissociation to control Anakin and snuff him out, but Anakin’s love for Padme still seeps through in Vader for a moment and he doesn’t remember what he did. To this extent, I think Vader loves Padme as well. Vader/Anakin deep into a psychosis and paranoid rage, however, did not.

A clear pattern begins to form: the childhood trauma of slavery and of losing a parent led to the development of a dissociative disorders (which are often caused, studies show, by unstable and frightening environments in youth or just as a way to cope with trauma). Then, his dissociation sets off an psychosis episode, agitated by Palpatine’s influence and manipulation during Anakin’s most vulnerable moments. Thus, the fall of Anakin Skywalker through the lens of someone with mental illness.

I do want to recognize that people with Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID) are often poorly stereotyped as these very“Dr. Jekyl vs. Mr. Hyde” evil alter ego archetypes that are very harmful and not accurate. I do not intend to perpetuate these stereotypes any further. Identity alteration is a symptom of various dissociative disorders, not just DID, and so there can exist within Anakin that alteration of his identity to something so far removed from his original self during a dissociative episode or during psychosis without it necessarily being DID. To me, that’s what happened. Vader and Anakin, though treated like two distinct people by more than one character, are too enmeshed to be separate personalities. They aren’t the same, but it’s also worth noting that Anakin was able to do the right thing when it came to saving Luke. He never truly left. It was a matter of giving him a purpose, after having lost so many, to break free from the dissociative episode and the identity alteration and to return back to who he truly was, even at the risk of re-opening those old and painful wounds that time could never heal.

Finally, and most importantly, Anakin’s displayed symptoms of mental illness, his rage and trauma, and his grapplings with identity are not inherently evil things. Vader would not have even been so dark and so cruel a person if Palpatine hadn’t seen/felt/identified that space in Anakin for something wicked to grow and taken advantage of that, as people with mental illness often are. Palpatine planted the seed where something good or healthy could have grown, an identity that could have protected Anakin from his past trauma, from his visions, from himself, and instead Palpatine made it the thing that destroyed Anakin and everything he held dear.

And that’s a wrap!

If you’ve made it this far, thank you. I love you from the bottom of my heart and I mean that. You have thoughts? Share them! Comment or reblog or don’t be afraid to dm me!

TL;DR Anakin is mentally ill as fuck and somebody had to figured out what was going on in pookie bear’s twisted little neuron nugget

[phoenixkaptain]

I don’t know if you’re still doing prompts but could you do something with Padme and the twins?

My friend, I saw this and had the abrupt realization that I’ve never written anything focused primarily on Padme and the twins. Which is!!! Sinful.

So, I am rectifying the situation, but I don’t want you to think I didn’t see this message! It’s going to take a bit longer to finish, but I figured I’d share the beginning! A sneak peek, if you will :D

(I wasn’t sure if you wanted a specific ‘verse’s version of Padme and the twins, so I just made a new one :) I hope you like it)

The Force was not overly cruel.

Anakin lay shattered, willingly stuck under the thumb of a tyrant, as good as dead. Luke and Leia were split apart, to separate sides of the galaxy. Padme was dead.

The family was scattered. Torn apart. Was it the fault of the Force? Sidious? Anakin himself?

No matter. Blame wasn’t important. The galaxy could not spend its eternities trying to cast blame.

The important thing was to fix this. To fix all of this. There were already rebels rising in the shadows. The brightness of the Force lived on in Luke and Leia, in Obi-Wan and all the rest of the remnants of the Jedi. There was still hope.

The Force was not overly cruel. It knew that the hope, the twins, were separated for their own good. If Sidious was to get his hands on either of them, everything would be lost. No matter if they spent their time staring off into the stars at night, longing for another half that they didn’t have. That they might never have.

The galaxy was vast. The Force could only influence so much. Leia would never go to Tatooine, no matter how hard it pushed her to go there. Luke was too loyal. If his uncle kept demanding it, then Luke would never leave Tatooine. Their paths would never cross.

The Force couldn’t let this happen. It had to bridge them together. It couldn’t let these twin suns be separated. Not after all the effort it took for them to be born in the first place.

But, how?

Slowly, a plan formed. Gradually, the pieces fell into place. Finally, the future that was looming over them was to be mended.

And all it took was the meddling of the ultimate power in the universe.

Luke sat on the steps of his home. He was in trouble. Again. Uncle Owen was not happy that Luke had, once again, stolen a speeder.

Luke wasn’t convinced it was entirely his fault. If the guy didn’t want his speeder stolen, he shouldn’t have had the keys so obviously in his inner vest pocket. Just waiting to be pickpocketed by a small boy waiting for his uncle to be done shopping. And, the guy definitely should’ve used a thicker chain to keep his speeder in place. Something that wouldn’t be snapped after a few seconds. Really, the guy was asking for his speeder to be stolen.

Uncle Owen did not agree.

Thus, Luke was in time out. Luke was pretty sure it was more for Uncle Owen’s sake, so the man could calm himself down before he exploded. Uncle Owen didn’t like being mean to Luke, and he was always very apologetic whenever he lost his temper. Putting Luke in time out was the only way he could calm down enough to be reasonable. Luke’s time outs were incredibly long.

He hadn’t been outside very long, this time. Aunt Beru had been right inside when they got home, so she was helping to calm Uncle Owen down. Aunt Beru was pretty good at calming Uncle Owen down. She said very nice things in a very gentle voice and let Uncle Owen hug her and she never judged him when he screamed into a pillow. Luke didn’t think he���d be out here for much longer, not with Aunt Beru working her magic.

“At least this time he didn’t puncture the fuel tank,” Aunt Beru lilted.

She really was a master.

Luke drew a little unhappy face in the sand with his finger. He wanted to go hang out with the Treadwell droid Uncle Owen had gotten. He wanted to see what it could do. He’d never seen a Treadwell before, and he was super excited to see it. The excitement was fading the longer he was stuck outside.

“Luke.”

Luke stopped moving. He went perfectly still for a moment, then he looked behind him in one sharp movement.

There was a lady there. Luke blinked, surprised. He hadn’t heard the sand crunching. Glancing at her feet, she was definitely standing on the sand, but there had been no noise and there were no footprints around them. She was a bit small, around the same size as Aunt Beru. Her hair was done up in some fancy way that Luke didn’t recognize, her clothes looked expensive, and she had a gentle smile on her face.

Luke felt that she was familiar. That she was safe. He was struck with the feelings of warmth and affection and loneliness and mourning and longing and heartbreak and-

His eyes welled up with tears. He hastily looked away and rubbed them with his sleeve. He felt an almost nonexistent weight on his shoulder, and saw that the lady had put her hand there. It was comforting. Luke scrubbed at his eyes for another second, then turned to face her fully.

“Are you lost?” he asked, because he had never seen such a fancy outfit before. It looked incredibly out of place amongst the endless expanses of sand.

“No, I’m right where I want to be,” she told him. “I’ve wanted to meet you for a long time. I’m so happy to finally see you.”

Luke absurdly felt like crying again. He sniffled a bit. Her hand cupped his cheek and she stroked the skin gently with her thumb, wiping away the dampness already there.

“I’m so glad you’re safe,” she murmured, wrapping her arms around him in a warm embrace. “You’ve gotten so big.”

He clung to her for a moment, fingers digging into the smooth fabric of her dress. He buried his face in her shoulder. She rested her cheek atop his head.

“My Luke,” she said softly. “My son.”

Luke cried and cried and felt like he would never stop.

Leia sat on her bed in her room. She was in trouble. Again. Her father was very concerned about her stealing a speeder. Again.

Leia wasn’t convinced it was her fault. If the guy didn’t want his speeder stolen, he should’ve been less of a dick to her. He should’ve gotten a more recent model of speeder, instead of his “antique” one. Everyone knew that those old speeders were easy to hotwire. He should’ve spent less time being an asshole and more time thinking reasonably about his vehicle choices. Honestly, the guy was asking for his speeder to be stolen.

Leia’s father did not agree.

Thus, she was in time out. An occurrence that was happening more and more frequently with every person she bit and speeder she stole and fire she started. She still maintained that none of them were entirely her fault. The biting incidents were always provoked, as were the speeder incidents. The fires…

Well, the fires were probably Leia’s fault. But, the chefs had learned to hide their matches and lighters better, so wasn’t it a net positive, overall?

Leia twirled a loose thread on her blanket around her finger. Time out was so boring. She knew she was supposed to be reflecting on her crimes or whatever, but all she could actually reflect on was how boring it was to sit in her room with nothing to do. The droid outside of her door had great hearing, and always reported when she started playing with something. And it never took bribes, no matter what Leia tried.

Leia couldn’t help but feel like this all was unfair. Of course, the guy she’d stolen from was being punished too, for being a dick (her father knew she always did things for a reason, and always promised to try to make things better, and he hadn’t lied yet) butLeia doubted his punishment was as bad as this one. Nothing was worse than time out.

“Leia.”

Leia stiffened. She looked up, unsure of what she was expecting to see, and froze. She blinked.

The woman in front of her was familiar. Warm. She wore clothes that Leia vaguely recognized as popular in Nabooian politics, colourful and beautiful and eye-catching if not a few years out of date. The woman’s hair was done up in one of Naboo’s elaborate styles.

Leia had always been fascinated by Nabooian styles, which always made her father look sad in a wistful, melancholic sort of way.

Seeing the woman stirred some long forgotten memory in Leia. The memory of warmth, directed all at her and at… someone else. A smile that was sad, so sad, heartbreakingly sad. But there was love in the eyes that gazed upon her. There was affection in the way that face softened.

“Mo-“ Leia stopped.

She couldn’t say it. She couldn’t be wrong. Her eyes welled up with tears, even as she rubbed them to try and stop it. She already had a mom, she didn’t need another one. She didn’t need to know where or who she came from, she didn’t- she didn’t-

The woman hugged her. She wrapped Leia in a warm embrace, one that Leia automatically tried to latch onto. She dug her fingers into the fabric of her dress. She buried her face in her shoulder. The woman rested her cheek atop Leia’s head, and Leia trembled.

“Leia,” she murmured.

“M-Mom?” she whispered.

A chuckle. “You recognize me.”

It wasn’t a question. But, it was an answer. Leia clung to her, tears dripping down her face.

“I’ve got you,” her mother promised. “I’m here. I’m sorry I left you, but I’m here now. It’ll all be okay.”

Leia cried and cried and felt like she would never stop.

[jessepinwheel]

I have some disagreeing Star Wars opinions with you. But I really liked your oneshot Harmonic Oscillation. I find it extremely off-putting when I see people making excuses about the Tusken Massacre or having other people (Obi-Wan, other Jedi) find out and Anakin still getting off scot-free. (My opinion is: if people don't want to deal with the Tusken Massacre, write an AU where it doesn't happen, don't write something where the "feel good resolution" is forgiving mass murder including of children with zero consequences!)

I feel like you handled that, and depicting the selfish person Anakin becomes by ROTS (yeah, AOTC was a turning point), really well. It didn't feel like bashing, but rather a logical interpretation of Anakin's worst tendencies. The characterization felt believable.

I especially appreciate the lines "My love for you is unconditional. My lenience is not." That is powerful, and such an important concept that I feel too many people don't understand.

I don't read much swars fic (I'm kind of on and off) but when I do read it something I come across a lot is anakin confessing that he murdered a whole tribe of people and obi-wan is like oh :( but it's okay because you've stepped away from the darkness so your soul is still fine, which. no, I don't think the state of anakin's soul is really the important thing, more than the fact that he murdered a bunch of people and clearly doesn't feel like he did anything wrong, and also why the hell does obi-wan's forgiveness matter? (well we know why it's because anakin doesn't care about the opinions of anyone besides the people close to him) obi-wan has no authority to absolve anakin of what he's done, he's not the one who was wronged by anakin's murder spree--the tuskens and their tribes were.

like yes, I do think anakin could do literally anything and obi-wan would probably still love him. I mean anakin did horribly murder obi-wan's own family and that wasn't enough to make obi-wan write anakin off, but loving someone doesn't mean letting them do lots of murder forever (although anakin might believe differently)

so I wrote that little snippet. at one point I had the idea of obi-wan and bail going back in time together because their deaths occurred so close together, and while obi-wan was off telling anakin that murder is bad, actually, bail would be off telling padme that marrying murderers is bad, actually. obviously didn't write that because I couldn't come up with anything interesting to write, but that snippet would have been a scene in that story

I try not to bash characters in general (though some might disagree with me because some of the characters I write come off pretty poorly), because there's really no need to make up reasons why characters suck, and I especially don't need to make up reasons why anakin's moral fiber is about as structurally sound as an eclair. fundamentally, anakin's the kind of person who, when palpatine went "hey I'll save your wife if you kill a bunch of children", thought that was a reasonable thing to do. surely that speaks for itself.

[lady-of-the-spirit]

For the character thing, Sersi? And Anakin too if I may ask multiple? :P

of course i'm gonna do both my blorbos!!

Sersi

How I feel about this character: BEST CHARACTER IN THE MOVIE. she's chronically late, she talks to statues, she's a bad liar, she's a collector, she's horribly insecure and is such a sweetheart and is the heart of the whole movie 💚

All the people I ship romantically with this character: Ikaris (I love tragedy 😔), Dane bc she deserves a nice normal guy and he clearly loves her!! (or at least they think he's normal-), Thena and Gilgamesh in an ot3 because I thought of it ONCE and couldn't let it go

My non-romantic OTP for this character: I mean I could say all of the Eternals because I love their relationships but I'll be specific. Phastos! They are besties to me, I cannot be convinced otherwise. Also Druig. I'm pretty neutral on Druig but I love his relationship with Sersi, he clearly respects her and listens to her!!

My unpopular opinion about this character: I mean just the fact that she's my fave is kinda unpopular already. people don't really care about her :(

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: I wish she could have had a more solid leadership arc. Like she's clearly afraid to take control, everyone makes jokes about Ikaris not being the leader which probably isn't good for her self esteem (Sprite outright says she doesn't care about Ajak choosing Sersi instead), and in the end none of that is really resolved. I wish her internal arc had been fleshed out some more and gotten a more satisfying ending of everyone looking to her as leader (this is why it should have been a show and not a movie!!!)

Anakin

How I feel about this character: honestly my favourite character potentially from the whole star wars series, DEFINITELY from the prequels. I love a tragedy and Anakin Skywalker is the definition of tragedy.

All the people I ship romantically with this character: Padme, obviously. I've read some Rex/Anakin fics too but tbh I never watched the clone wars so I can't say I actually ship it.

My non-romantic OTP for this character: Obi Wan is his tragic brother/father figure and I love it. Also, again from someone who hasn't watched the clone wars but read fics, Ahsoka and also his clone trooper squad.

My unpopular opinion about this character: This is more an unpopular opinion about the fandom I guess but. Anakin was not misunderstanding the Jedi teachings when he talked about love. Love is forbidden for Jedi, that's literally the whole point of the story? It's not just attachment or obsessive love, it's all love. Why would Anakin have completely misunderstood the jedi teachings. If that were true that would say more about the jedi as teachers than Anakin, I think.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: I mean if I said what I wanted to happen to him, the rest of the series probably wouldn't even exist in the first place? But damn I wish someone in the jedi had been like Why the fuck does Palpatine want to spend so much time with our new 9 year old recruit and cut that shit out.

Or just. Him being a slave for his entire childhood being acknowledged at all after Phantom Menace because damn they did not acknowledge any of that shit at all.

give me a character and I'll break their ass down

[infernaleikon]

Hello ! I don’t know if you remember I am the person who was watching new girl during her exams ! Ok so we need to talk about the Indian wedding convention episode because it made me think of your au and what would happen with obikin ! I was imaging instead of a convention it was more like a couple retreat to bring couple closer and Anakin wanted to do that for him and padme (feeling guilty about his ongoing attraction with obi-wan). However padme can’t because of her job (for a campaign or something) and she tells him to go with Obi-wan because she doesn’t want to waste money and she thinks it’s funny. Obi-wan agrees because he doesn’t know how to say no but also and guiltily he wants to spend some time alone with Anakin. Obviously there was only one bed. And like in the wedding convention épisode they do activities that show how compatible with each other they are (and it can make a good parallel with the « they were the two parts of the same warrior » thing). And when they come back they are closer than ever and maybe Padme realises something’s off. Or maybe they make out again and Anakin has to tell padme what is going on because he feels guilty (like Jess in new girl). However I don’t see them getting in awkward make out sessions like Jess and Nick once Anakin is single 😂 maybe they have angry sec though ? I don’t know…

Anyway I hope you’re well ! Please take your time and don’t feel guilty with not writing or finishing ongoing projects ! It remains a fun hobby and you will feel inspired when the time comes. In the time being I am reading your fics (again) because they are such a confort (i love the one where Obi-wan is cursed and can’t touch Anakin, the pining is excellent in this one). I might read your magicians fics, I used to love this show and loved Quentin and Elliott together… Unfortunately since season 4 was cancelled before it could end 🙃 we never had the chance to see where their relationship could go…

hi!! i do remember! how did your exams go?

and thank you so much for your kind words <3 and i'm very happy you enjoy my other fics 💕💕💕 i do struggle with creativity atm and it's really annoying when you actually want to write but that want doesn't translate into action for some reason. i hope i'll get around to it again soon because i miss it!

omg!! i promise the magicians fic are all actually happy ending. yes, such a tragic thing that the season 4 got cancelled before it ended lmao

and the new girl stuff is under the cut cos it got a bit longer skskksks

omg that is such a good idea tbh!! padmé would be like, "why don't you take obi-wan? you guys get along and he definitely needs some time off! go and have some fun" while there are sirens going off in anakin's head. obi-wan of course agrees because, well, padmé is basically sanctioning this (the trip, not another make out, obi-wan has to remind himself), he could use some time off and having anakin keeping him company is a treat he can't say no regardless how much the rational part of his brain keeps telling him that this is a bad idea.

meanwhile neither padmé nor obi-wan know that anakin actually booked a romantic trip that he can't refund or change to something decidedly unromantic. and the thing is, anakin is resourceful, okay, he found out that if you tell these people that you're newlywed, they provide upgrades to these couples retreats, and he thinks padmé would've laughed about it, maybe it would've been a hilarious joke or he would've proposed, maybe maybe maybe. but he arrives with obi-wan who sort of looks like he's chewing on a whole lemon when they step into the room and it's covered with rose petals, there's cheap champagne in a cooler (mind you, this isn't an expensive retreat), strawberries, couples bathrobes and a bowl with condoms next to the bed.

anakin thinks it's the perfect atmosphere to have sex. and when he thinks that he realizes he isn't even thinking about padmé and he feels guilty but also not, and he really doesn't know what to make of it all.

neither of them offers to not sleep on the bed. but anakin notices that obi-wan is uneasy and a bit restless, and thinks it's because he doesn't want to share the bed with anakin and it irritates him because!! obi-wan could've just not come on this trip and anyway, he kissed anakin and then never did or said anything about it again, and--. so he snaps that obi-wan should stop fussing and just go to sleep. and obi-wan being obi-wan snorts at that brilliant idea but then quietly admits that he has trouble sleeping in new places, and this mattress broadcasts every little movement anakin does and jostles him which doesn't help.

and if you asked either obi-wan or anakin later, neither could tell you how exactly they ended up like this, but anakin ends up big-spooning obi-wan (to minimize the jostling through the mattress) (and to help obi-wan sleep) (supposedly) (they both don't get a lot of sleep) and it feels so good. obi-wan smells incredible, he's broad and firm under anakin's hands, so different from padmé, so wonderfully solid, and again anakin feels so guilty and at the same time not at all because being pressed up against obi-wan like this feels amazing.

they do all these compatibility challenges the next day and they do them so well, it's flows so smoothly, it's effortless, and everyone is so impressed by them, that perfectly in-sync couple, and anakin glows because this is all he ever wanted. but it's with obi-wan. and anakin is with padmé. and he wonders if these challenges would've been as easy with her but now he'll never know. he finds that he doesn't even really care because he's ecstatic that he managed them so well with obi-wan. who isn't his boyfriend.

anyway, it's probably a whole mess and obi-wan is losing his mind because apparently they're really compatible (which, he tells himself, is very stupid to think and latch onto because of some silly little party games but his massive crush on anakin is just running with it). and anakin keeps looking at him with big blue eyes and a dazzling smile, all happy and flushed, and it's so so hard not to kiss him again, kiss him stupid, kiss him until he forgets all about padmé and just stays with obi-wan.

[callipraxia]

So, I’m done with S1 of Clone Wars, and have watched the first two discs of S2. Seems like a good time to check in with some Opinions.

1) this stuff is good. It’s the kind of good where, when there’s a moment that’s obviously written to cater to children and/or executives, those moments actually stick out noticeably. It’s a bit like GF: so good that its flaws stand out more than they should due to all the goodness around them, but in a way, the fact I’m bothering to point these little things out as flaws kind of highlights its excellence.

2) Padme’s design and animation weren’t nearly as awful as anticipated

3) Despite my strong appreciation for the writing and mild compliment to Padme…every other creature and thing on the screen has its moments where it looks almost real. Why, exactly, could they animate literally everything else so well (yes, there’s some moments of blatantly cheap or rushed background animation, but considering the sheer number of backgrounds…see my comments in Remark One) but not avoid making all the human characters look just…off, somehow, without exception, even in the best cases? And why, if they had to choose one actor’s face to be extra-insulting to, did they have to do…that…to Christopher Lee? Forget looking like his actor, Dooku doesn’t even look like a person!

4) more on that awesome writing. One thing I admire about it is how willing they are to let the protagonists fail. Yeah, there’s certain losses we know will be losses ahead of time (any time they think they are close to capturing Dooku or Grievous, for instance), but others run circles around the mains/at least take them to breaking even rather more often than they get ahead, and there was no narrative necessity to those characters. It’s tricky to balance letting your protagonists even partially lose regularly with preserving the audience’s respect for them, but they do it well, especially in such traditionally nuance-lacking genres. It’s quite the accomplishment to pull this off and actually convey the intended theme (that war is tedious and draining and damaging and you lose at least as much as if you win even in the best-case outcome) at all, but especially given the format.

5) It would have been a tad more effective had they started building up a few specific clones more as individuals earlier, but the inclusion of individualized clones and Ahsoka, along with recurring secondary characters (ex. Luminara and Barriss) was very clever - they add *some* tension to those episodes where the outcome is predetermined. Any of them could die, and anyone familiar with Revenge of the Sith knows that it’s very unlikely that Ahsoka will end the show in top form - sure, they *could* have just promoted her to Jedi and pretended she was just still on the Outer Rim when Obi-Wan and Anakin were called back to Coruscant, but considering how unstable Anakin is by the beginning of RotS, it seems more likely for her total absence to be explained by her being dead, MIA, in prison, in exile, turned traitor, or otherwise Not Okay. Separatists killing her in particular could have gone a long way to make it more sympathetic that Palpatine found it so very easy to convince Anakin to take up that job at Decapitation Station.

6) on Anakin’s mental health…knowing the future makes the ending of “Senate Spy” so much sadder. He was a bit of a jealous psycho in that episode as per usual…but it really did seem like all his Issues were firmly oriented in his own insecurities and/or pointed at Mr. Gropey McGroperson there, and he sounded sincere when, at the end, he assured Padme he never doubted her at all. Compare to him at the very beginning of RotS, where he almost lashed out at her because he could sense she was afraid of something and instantly drew the conclusion she was cheating on him. I…do not think he would have had the presence of mind, come RotS, to look past her hugging Rush long enough to notice the disc in her hand that she needed him to retrieve. He’d have just killed them both on the spot.

7) continuing on that theme…possibly an unpopular opinion, but I think Anakin and Padme were always doomed. Probably from the start, all things considered, but definitely after the war started. I started writing an essay here, but realized after I started getting into the ways Padme was in almost as bad of a place as Anakin for getting into a serious relationship when she did that I was exceeding the scope of this list, so I’ll make that its own essay, but…yeah. They were very intense personalities, were very intensely attracted to each other, and their mutual need to save people did less to unite them than to further divide them because of the ways it manifested. They’d have almost certainly divorced even under good circumstances, and the very best-case scenario would have been one where they managed to do so before having children and also managed to do so amicably enough that Padme didn’t feel the need to get a restraining order. Nine times out of ten, even without the war, I suspect she’d have ended up needing the restraining order.

8) on the subject of doomed ships…my gut says that Ahsoka/Barriss was/is a popular one. The part of me that produces things like Interproximal Gradations chapters 11, 12, and 15 also has a feeling there was a General Grievous/Obi-Wan Kenobi fandom at one time, and that not nearly enough of it was strictly limited to hateshipping. If I ever go temporarily insane and stick my toe into Star Wars fic, then I will try my very best to forget that suspicion of mine and, if I slip so far into temporary insanity that I read ship fic there, just stick to Barriss and Ahsoka, thanks. No way they realistically work out either, but as far as I can tell they probably had a better chance of than any other ship in this show.

So yeah. There’s some thoughts on Clone Wars Seasons 1 and 2A.

[mysticmjolnir]

i have been thinking about this for days so i'm laying it down here where all nonsense belongs

(this was borne from my home island having a horrible little election and me watching some horrible little debates and coping with STAR WARS(tm) thoughts)

what if during the clone wars there was a Grand Debate where they stopped fighting for like a week or w/e and had a big stupid horrible public debate on the live holonet between the Republic and the Separatists. one representative from either side. don't think too hard about it, that's not the point

the point is that Dooku would represent the Separatists, and who could the Republic stand against him in a big stupid horrible public debate? Dooku was MADE for this bullshit, arrogant, able to pivot away from topics he doesn't want to talk about, willing to fight dirty, able to project victory even when on the shakiest of ground, public school boy energy

i know what you're thinking, but let's start with the elected representatives first

obviously, Palpatine should be the one facing Dooku. even more obviously, Palpatine is never going to put himself in that position. let's move on.

Padme Amidala! she would do bad, too honest, too - naive sounds like i'm dismissing her, it's more that she'd see what Dooku was doing and get angry and he'd run rings around her and make her look terrible.

Bail Organa! idk i think he would also do bad, not get angry like Padme but not be able to keep up with the sheer wall of swarm that Dooku could put up.

Mon Mothma! voice is too quiet, also i think she's corrupt? i just watched andor for the first time, she doesn't strike me as someone good at big stupid public debates

i know there are more senators but I think other than Jar Jar these are the main ones. Of the four, Jar Jar would come closest to dragging Dooku to a draw, because he's very annoying and that would throw Dooku off to start, but I think Jar Jar would get flustered and ulimately lose

just a reminder that 'losing' a big stupid public debate is solely about posture and dick energy, not to do with morality, likeability or accuracy

okay so speaking of dick energy, obi-wan would also lose. not because he couldn't win, but because he doesn't want to be the kind of person who wins this sort of thing. he would have to lose a piece of himself to defeat dooku in this arena of combat and he doesn't want to and no-one would ask him to and it wouldn't be worth it this is the stupidest way to frame a war. also he's not tall enough and he's too comfortably bisexual. gotta repress that shit more babe if you wanna separate your soul from reality enough to win a big stupid horrible debate against dooku

no-one would ever suggest anakin except me, i think it would be funny, either he gets out the lightsaber ninety seconds in OR he's swayed by Dooku's fascistic appeal and spends most of the debate really half-heartedly refuting stuff until the end where Dooku talks shit about obi-wan or padme or something so anakin gets the lightsaber out.

mace has a headache

qui-gon'd do okay, he's tall enough but also he's dead and he's busy and he's got a new phone and he doesn't want to.

yoda tho.

yoda is going to annoy dooku SO MUCH on SO MANY LEVELS he's gonna throw him off so much and also he's never gonna get flustered not even a little bit. he can pull both the 'i am a helpless old man' card and the 'i am 800 years old and above this shit" card at the same time. he's gonna tap his little cane and make so many mouth sounds when dooku is talking, he's going to seem like he's not paying any attention and then say the most brutal cutting thing imaginable and destroy dooku in front of the entire galaxy

but also if someone has a time machine, then leia, leia could destroy dooku on his own terms bc she's got padme's political integrity and anakin's ruthlessness she'd murder him and he'd die happy knowing he was felled by a worthy opponent