#the thing is he knows aeryn loves him he actively Wants aeryn to love him. but don’t you dare fucking say it.

[eye-of-yelough]

the interpretation is in shambles folks

hhhhhh do i want to characterise Gort as true to my interpretation of him, (grey-ace, sex indifferent, aro, so romance repulsed he’s basically allophobic) Or. do i want him and aeryn to have a dynamic that makes me happy. because unfortunately i can’t do both.

obviously i pick happiness but i don’t think i’ll ever not feel weirdly bad about it. i just can’t do Aeryn being as into Gortash as he is and have Gortash be completely uninterested, it’s too pathetic, even for him. and it just doesn’t make sense anymore with how i’ve been writing them. what is important to specify is this. whatever minimal amount of attraction he feels towards Aeryn has nothing to do with his body and everything to do with the concept of him.

diversity win, this guy who feels no attraction to people doesn’t see you as a person!

[dangermousie]

Farscape rewatch: 2x05 The Way We Weren’t

One of the best eps and so wonderfully Aeryn-centric.

If I didn’t love Pilot already. I would have fallen in love with him after this ep. The scene where he says ‘but I so desperately wanted to see the stars’ to justify to himself his prior course of action, really breaks my heart. You know, one of the biggest reasons I wouldn’t try Farscape for years, not until S4 in fact, was the ‘muppets.’ No way could I watch a scifi show with puppets. But that’s the thing. I forget Rygel and Pilot are puppets. They are complicated characters, like the rest and their arcs and their emotional heft is no less than that of human characters.

Another thing that I was thinking about with this ep, is how Farscapian. There are no true innocents here. Not really. Farscapian universe won’t let them be. Anyone who starts out innocent is forced to lose it, sooner or later. Crichton and Pilot are both innocents we see lose it. Pilot’s actions led to the death of the previous Pilot, he compromised to serve Peacekeepers. Crichton started the show out as a wide-eyed idealistic pacifist and look what he became end of S4, strapping a nuclear bomb on himself, offering the Universe to Scorpius for a mere chance to get Aeryn back. Pretty much everyone has some breaking point, some driving obsession that can override morality (I mean, Pilot wanted to fly badly enough he agreed to work for evil, in s4 John promises to give wormholes to Scorpius and thus bring war and destruction to untold innocents, to save Aeryn.)

No one starts out evil, or damaged, or guilty in FS. Even Scorpius, much as I loathe him, we really find out later what made him who he became. But (and that is why I love Farscape), not only does the show stick to “an explanation is not an excuse” belief, but there is always a possibility of grace. Of moving on, damaged and tarnished, and making new happiness and actively trying to find peace and goodness. Aeryn gets a chance to rediscover herself away from the brutality of PKs. She gets a chance to be a full-fledged human being (but also how much do I love that her deadliness does not diminish one bit.) Pilot gets the bond with Moya. Crichton, messed up beyond any recognition by the end, gets a chance at family, peace, and rediscovering innocence through his child.

So much of this ep is about choices and past and that’s another thing I love about the show. It’s not big on ‘fate.’ Aeryn and Crichton is my huge, huge, unrivaled OTP but they are not ‘destined,’ ‘fated,’ or any of that junk. They met at the time there was a possibility and their relationships developed from there. If Crichton did propose to Alex and she accepted and they stayed on Earth, I can see him being happy. He’d never have hit his full potential for feeling (or for suffering) but he would have been a happy guy. And for Aeryn, the moment was right. She loved Velorek but she couldn’t really allow herself to express it or to feel it fully, in PK society. Ironically, it’s her experience with Velorek, combined with her experience with her mother telling her she is special, that was that little push that prompted her to take to Crichton’s words of ‘you can be more’ in the Premiere. It’s actually so interesting to me btw that Aeryn has a type - techie with a core of steel but a soft soul and someone willing to buck all norms for what he thinks is right (Velorek, even Larraq to a degree) and John is basically the apotheosis of the type, but that Aeryn is so far from John’s default type prior to her - blond, easy going, chill. 

I really love the scene where he comforts her after she’s had an exercise session and her hands are raw from the punching bag. He just holds her, as she cries. And she cries messily, unprettily, very real. 

I love that so consistently, no matter how deadly he gets, he is the soft one in the relationship, the emotionally more open one, the one who wants to talk. She started out as a machine and discovers the beauty of vulnerability and humanity as the show progresses and he starts out as a vulnerable soft sweetheart who has to armor himself to survive - being with him restores to her, oh so gradually, the humanity that he society stole from her but later on having her is what keeps in him the humanity that is being so brutally and thoroughly ripped from him. He restores her soul and she restores him after the universe does its best to destroy that in them. They meet somewhere in the scarred middle and the equality of it is beautiful. (But also, achieving their full potential is riven with loss - John would have never shown all this drive and devotion and capability as a scientist on earth but he would have also not been tortured and driven to madness; Aeryn paid for her soul by loss of everything she knew.)

And that shot of them sitting across the PK symbol from each other, as she quietly tells him about the past, and they are not touching (I love that he knows it’s not the time for cuddling, that she needs her space to collect herself) and it’s so symbolic: that red stripe between them.

One of my favorite quotes occurs there, actually:

It’s just the way they say it. Quiet.

This is a gender reversal in their relationship, isn’t it? She is the one who has problems opening up (Crichton is the only one she allows herself to be vulnerable with and it’s been a long hard process to earn it, for him). He is the one who comforts her, who wants her to talk.

He is the emotional one, the one with the heart like a carpet for her to walk on. She prefers action and it’s hard for her to navigate the emotional landscape. And yet, Crichton is never weak. He is never diminished because of caring, or being the emotional one. I like it.

I also love the attitude everyone has on discovering Aeryn has been aboard Moya before (which looks grey and dull, not the gorgeous colors of now). I love that the show doesn’t shy away either from confronting that no, she did have an ugly past, it’s not just the words, and the fact that ultimately what she is now wins over for her shipmates from what she was then. China is 100% on point when she asks did they all think she did nice things while the rest of Peacekeepers tortured and murdered; this is a question not just for the characters but for the audience - it would be so easy to sweep her past under the rug but the show won’t do so. And so Aeryn did horrible stuff and she has to live with it.

The thing with Velorek, the betrayal. I think the scene with her Mother when she was a child was so crucial for her actions post-Velorek. If she didn’t have that ‘differentness’ implanted, she could have become even more martinet like after Velorek. But instead, it gave her a sliver of an opening…And again. I love the show for going there - for giving Aeryn a horrific betrayal in her past - perpetrated by her to advance her career against a man who loved her and who she loved and who was doing something good - and showing she is not just a victim, she is a perpetrator and that if you live in a monstrous regime, are brainwashed by a monstrous regime, you have no chance but become a monster.

The grace and the hope is that when given a chance to take a new path she does (and it’s even more stark with Crais - who was many more times a monster but even he is shown to be warped by the regime and after enough time on his own he becomes if not good per se, then at least a real human being capable of doing good things.)

To get back to the Velorek thing - it is also such a theme that being good does not guarantee reward or a happy ending. There is no easy grace - Aeryn betrayed a good man, a man she loved (as much out of panic because she felt herself deviating from prescribed path as to get advancement - I don’t think she’d have become “more” even with her capability for it if her choice to return to default was not taken from her until she had some chance to reflect and transform, and that is so realistic, brainwashing and societal conditioning are pervasive) and he was executed and she has to live with it.

And how do I love that so much of this ep is turning defaults on their heads - from reminding us that Aeryn was a perpetrator not a victim but also with Velorek who first seems a peacekeeper psycho and then we realizes keeps his humanity as much as he can in that mad place. It’s like their sex scene where it starts and we assume he will try to rape her and then we watch and realize they are lovers, in love (and Aeryn is as always in charge, heee :P) and it basically screams at us - don’t go for easy defaults, look behind the assumptions.

Btw I love this show for allowing Aeryn romantic agency and history - she loved someone before John even if she was not ready to fully commit. And there is no jealousy in John, just a little wonder and just the fraughtness of discussing love with her.

Also - very true to the whole story that for Aeryn physical is easier than emotional and comes first (as Chiana points out to John in s3 because that girl gets relationships.) She is from a society where sex is easy and meaningless but emotions are terrifying and forbidden so of course. For her to admit that she loved Velorek shows how far she’s come; she’d have never been able to realize it in the peacekeepers (and the story of her mother in s3 shows how even people with capacity for love will eventually have it brutalized out of them so safest not to love, it’s self-preservation.)

Also, we see how far the characters have come from the pilot episode but also how far they have yet to go. Look at Zhaan here and yet less than a season later, she will give her life to bring Aeryn back, not just because of her love for John but because of Aeryn herself. (And also, the show is A+ for calling Zhaan out for hypocrisy but also the continuity was always so good!)

I could go on and on and on forever, but I’ll just mention two little things here. One is, I love the shot when Aeryn and John drop from the ceiling into Pilot’s den in unison. Two? The tag. First time I saw it, it killed me dead. When Aeryn and John are talking and she tells him that he reminded her of Velorek and he asks ‘And you say you loved that man?’ and they stare at each other and away with all the questions and answers they are afraid of saying, in their eyes. 

[autumnslance]

FFXIV Write 2021 #4: Baleful

“It’s the damndest thing, ma’am,” the young dragoon said as Aeryn looked over the reports. “Ser Alberic looked over the reports, went all pale, mumbled something about needing some fresh air, and then just...left.”

“And you have no idea where he’s gone?” She asked.

The young elezen shook his head. “I...I am ashamed to say none of us thought to follow him for a moment, and by the time Clarisse stepped outside to ask if he was all right, he’d vanished. The sentries say he Jumped away.”

That made her raise an eyebrow. Alberic did not often employ the methods he taught anymore. “Two days ago, you said.”

The young man nodded. “We just...don’t know what to do, or where to go. We thought perhaps you might.”

“I’ll try,” she said, gathering the portfolio again. “May I take this?”

He nodded. “I made that copy just for you, ma’am.”

She smiled a thanks and stepped out of the barracks and into the cold, sunny streets of the Observatorium. The portfolio had been about attacks from remnants of Nidhogg’s Horde, old fighters who didn’t want to accept the peace and still fought bitterly against Ishgard and those of Hraesvelgr’s brood who allied with the city-state.

The main concern was the ringleader of this particular surge of activity; an ancient red dragon called Avengret, last active around the time Ferndale was destroyed and thought killed at the time. Apparently she had merely slept and recovered, and had awoken very recently. Not originally a member of Nidhogg’s brood, she had not been compelled to awaken right away when he called for the final verse of the Dragonsong War.

She was the best place perhaps to start, but Aeryn needed to know more. If she couldn’t find Alberic, then another source of information about Avengret was needed.

—-

Gullinbursti raised his head as Snowlight landed nearby. “Ahh, Aeryn; to what do I owe the pleasure?”

She smiled sheepishly. “I wish it were a social call,” she said apologetically. “I need help finding a wayward Dragoon instructor.”

“Oh?” He stretched, scales rippling in the sunlight shining over Bahrr Lehs. “I don’t know much about Dragoons. Tend to avoid them.”

“You know of Ser Alberic Bale?”

“The previous Azure, of course. A bane to us all during the war.”

“He’s gone missing; so far as we can tell, of his own volition. He received a report of one of Nidhogg’s generals, a dragon called Avengret who was thought killed at Ferndale but has resurfaced. I thought you might know of her since, well…”

“Since she is of Ratatoskr’s brood,” Gullinbursti said quietly. He looked off into the sky for several long minutes.

“I...don’t want to ask you anything that might harm your kin. I’m just worried for Alberic and what he might do.”

Gullinbursti seemed to recall she was there, suddenly looking into Aeryn in a way that almost made her fidget. Finally the old dragon sighed. “...Leave it, Warrior of Light.”

“Beg pardon?”

“Send someone else to find your missing man. This is not an adventure you should accept. Go home.”

“I promise, I don’t want to hurt one of you—”

“I would kill Avengret myself were she here,” Gullinbursti said bluntly. “She is a dangerous creature of honeyed words, the sweetness hiding the poison, distracting from her claws. The great love she once bore for mortals was twisted irrevocably when our mother died, and all she wishes is vengeance. Do not involve yourself.”

“You know I can likely face her; she can’t be more powerful than the First Brood.”

Gullinbursti growled. “There is more at stake than your prowess, Champion. Send someone else. Trust me.”

Aeryn grit her teeth. “I do trust you--but you must also trust me, Gullinbursti. And I can’t leave Alberic out there. If you don’t tell me, I’ll find another way.”

The dragon let out an exasperated growl-sigh, then shook his wings and roared. Moogles and Temple Knights around the plaza jumped and stared. Gullinbursti glared down at Aeryn. “Stubborn as ever! Very well. On the southern edge of Coerthas, in the Eastern Lowlands near where the hills make way for the Shroud, are the ruins of a small village. Hard to find, but you’ve always had a keen sense for the hidden. To the east, across the old sheep paths, is a ruined tower. You may find answers there. You may not like them.”

Aeryn frowned, but nodded. “Thank you, Gullinbursti.” She bowed for the elder, and then turned away.

Tarresson was watching, alerted by the dragon’s outburst. “Everything all right?” He asked as Aeryn returned to her chocobo.

“Alberic’s rushed off without a word, and now Gullinbursti is reticent to share what he knows of the dragon I think Alberic’s chasing.”

“Oh?” Tarresson raised a brow as he stroked Snowlight’s neck.

“Have you ever heard of Avengret?”

The former count let out a long, low whistle. “Afraid I have; I thought that bitch was dead--pardon my language. If Alberic’s looking for her…” Tarresson huffed. “She had some part of the Ferndale business. It could be that he’s seeking a bit of closure. Unfortunately, I cannot help with where to find either of them; I am sorry.”

Aeryn nodded and swung up onto the saddle. Tarresson grasped her arm. “If you must, return to us here; we’ll think of something. I’ve a bad feeling about all of this; please be careful.”

“Always,” she said, giving his hand a squeeze. He nodded and let her go, watching as she and Snowlight flew off.

————-

She must have come this way before, but the snowfalls made it difficult to tell.

The border outposts were of some help, in outlining the region and offering a warm place to stop, have a drink by the fire and check the maps. An old knight pointed out a watchtower she thought perhaps the one Gullinbursti had mentioned.

“Just beyond what little’s left of the village of Fawn’s Hollow,” she said. “Was a nice place once. Calamity saw the last of its few folks leave, though.”

Aeryn frowned, something familiar stirring. She shook her head. “Thank you, I’ll check into it.” She bundled up again and retrieved Snowlight, despite the chocobo’s protests to remain in the warmth of the outpost. They made their way across snowy fields and woods to what was left of the village.

A lump formed in Aeryn’s throat from an emotion she could not identify as she navigated the ruins of the village. This close to the Twelveswood, the snow was thinner, sometimes even melting entirely, so the shape of the old town was easy to follow. Most of the buildings were gone, burnt and broken in the Calamity or soon after, no one left to stop the flames. She found herself pausing before a low stone wall, the boundary of someone’s yard once perhaps. Her head whipped around at what she thought was the sound of a familiar laugh, but it was just the wind moaning through the old bell tower, the only part of the chapel to remain.

Shaking her head, Aeryn continued east, finding the hint of sheep paths even through the snow; flocks gone wild, and other animals besides, retained the habit and followed the old path.

Snowlight’s swift stride soon brought the tower into view. Ruined even before the Calamity, it was an older design missing the hallmarks of Dzemael construction of the last hundred and fifty years. Even with the fresh few ilms of snow on the ground, it seemed far too cold and quiet.

Snowlight warked unhappily, flapping her wings as Aeryn dismounted. “Shh, it’s all right,” Aeryn said, stroking the chocobo’s beak. “I feel it too,” she admitted, turning to face the entry she could see, a swollen old door, half off its hinges.

It took a good deal of effort before the old door budged, crashing from its place, the sound like cannonfire in the too-quiet woods. Aeryn winced and held still, listening for anything that might have come to investigate the noise.

Nothing.

She wasn’t sure if that was better, or worse.

Aeryn stepped into the ruin, Snowlight hesitantly following behind her, feathers puffed and ruffled. The entire tower seemed to be holding its breath, waiting for something--or someone, perhaps. The halls had not seen habitation for some time, everything cold and damp, the air heavy with frosted dust.

The rooms opened into what should have been the center of the tower, but now exposed to the sky. There were signs it may have once been a dragon’s roost, but so long ago there was no trail here to follow.

Still, there were also signs the tower had been inhabited once, possibly by any heretics following said dragon. Avengret’s profile said she tended to gather followers, nurturing them into shock troops for the Horde.

As she searched, Aeryn thought of the nearly-mindless dragons that had thrown themselves at Ishgard’s defenders numerous times, scaly forms littering the Steps of Faith. She shivered.

Snowlight perked up and whistled, calling Aeryn’s attention to the entrance. There was the sense of movement and sound. Woman and chocobo dashed for cover behind fallen masonry, Aeryn’s rapier drawn.

A moment passed and a familiar red-clad figure stepped into view, confident despite his caution, his own rapier drawn and tail lashing. “I know someone’s there,” he growled.

“X’rhun?” Aeryn called back, a part of her smugly satisfied to see him jump in surprise as she stood from behind the masonry. “What are you doing here?”

“I could ask you the same thing, my dear,” he said, laughing hollowly as he put away his sword and focus.

“I asked you first,” she teased, sheathing her own weapons as she walked over to him.

It wasn’t difficult to note the strain in his usually easy smile. “I’m here on behalf of Ser Alberic, in regards to my occasional work aiding the Holy See with their heretic reintegration project.”

“I’m looking for Alberic,” Aeryn said. “His students called me when he left abruptly a few days ago, and hasn’t been heard from since.”

X’rhun pinched the bridge of his nose and swore softly to himself in three different languages, all of which the Echo picked up and made Aeryn blush. “They weren’t supposed to do that; I doubt he thought of that, damned fool.” X’rhun let out an exasperated breath. “Well there’s no cause for alarm; Alberic and I are working together, and I assure you he’s quite safe. You may tell his students not to worry.”

“From everything I hear of this dragon he may be pursuing, ‘safe’ seems relative,” Aeryn said, crossing her arms. “You might even need an Azure Dragoon.”

“Well I’ve already got one,” he replied dryly. “I assure you, it’s naught we can’t handle. You can easily return to your latest round of saving the world,” he tried to tease, but her Echo still caught the unease he tried to hide.

“Rhun,” she said, quiet and flat. “What the seven hells is going on? First Gullinbursti tries to tell me to leave, now you’re doing the same. Alberic left without any word--and I get the feeling that was meant to keep me out of things, except an enterprising pupil decided to risk sending a message anyway. Please, just...tell me.”

He was quiet for a long moment, tail flicking behind him. “I wish I could,” he finally said. “But I made a promise.” He sighed. “It’s a complicated mess, my dear, and Alberic is taking it personally. Which is why I’m here to help him.”

“I’m taking this personally,” she snapped, hands balled into fists as she stepped closer. “This whole thing seems strangely familiar and everyone’s trying to keep me away and won’t tell me why and I swear if you just tell me to return to Mor Dhona—”

Snowlight kwehed in distress as she forced herself between Aeryn and X’rhun. Aeryn reeled back, looking from her bird to X’rhun, struggling to keep himself calm--though her Echo caught his whisper of concern as her temper had started to fray.

Aeryn covered her face with her hands. “I’m sorry,” she whispered.

“I know,” he said warmly, his hands on her shoulders now. “I’m not making this easy and you’ve already seen enough to make you curious. You’re concerned for Alberic, and rightly so; he’s a stubborn old knight looking into something dangerous. But I need you to trust me for now. I will tell you what I can, when I can--and I will try to get him to do the same.”

There was something he wasn’t saying, an unspoken line, but she wasn’t sure what. Aeryn let her hands fall and looked at X’rhun. “I do trust you,” she said. “But I’m not leaving. You don’t have to tell me anything, but I am going to help.”

He looked about to protest, then sighed again, shoulders slumping as he laughed helplessly. “I know there’s no dissuading you. Very well; I suppose we shall see what happens from here. Now, have you had the chance to explore this tower?”

She nodded. “There’s nothing of interest that I could see.”

“It’s been too long since she’s roosted here, and all her followers have moved to other locations as well,” X’rhun mused. “Let’s return to camp, then, and plan our next move--the sooner we put this place behind us, the better. It feels…”

“Like it’s waiting for her to return,” Aeryn said. “Like we’re being watched though there’s no one here. The place itself wants us gone.”

He nodded. “Just so. Shall we then?”

She followed him out of the tower, to where his own borrowed mount waited. Snowlight huffed in relief as they exited, shaking out her feathers.

Aeryn spared one last glance at the ruined tower as she mounted Snowlight to follow X’rhun. The old building sat still and dark, and she shivered as they rode away.

[number5theboy]

Do you have any thoughts on how the show handled Allison being involved in the civil rights movement? More specifically, her sibling's apathy about it... Sorry not sure if there has already been discourse on this but curious on your opinion as you should definitely have been in the writer's room

Alright, full disclosure once more, I’m not black and I’m not US-American. I am not particularly well-read on the Civil Rights movement or have any authority about what is or isn’t good appropriation of a real-life political movement in fiction, so the following is just my personal opinion, how I perceived the inclusion of the Civil Rights movement in Season 2. I don’t know how much discourse there has been because I don’t go looking for it, but this post is a good read.

Overall, they actually did better than I initially expected. I went into this season fully prepared to cringe my way through Allison’s plotline because I did not trust the writers to handle the subject matter with any amount of grace or tact. However, they did take on a black female writer for the entire season (Aeryn Michelle Williams), so small props where small props are due, and there were a few moments I thought were quite powerful. I liked Allison’s speech in the beauty parlor in Episode 3 a lot. I loved the shot with the salt being poured over the protesters during the sit-in. Allison arriving in the 60s and immediately finding refuge with other black women was the best arrival scene out of all of them. I actually think that Allison and Ray breaking up/parting ways because she offered him to come with and he decided that the movement was bigger than the both of them, and that he had a fight to fight, a stand to take here and now is really good. And the moment where Allison rumours the cop that is beating Ray within an inch of his life into leaving, and Ray looks at her in horror and says that no way in hell would a white cop walk away because a black woman told him so is probably the most impactful moment to me in the entire season, just because it rings so true.

However, this is where we get into the ethics of using real-life events, especially ones so important to and for oppressed groups, in historical fiction, especially fiction, in this case, that is not centered around these events, and this ties into the apathy of the siblings towards Allison’s activism. In the end, the Civil Rights movement is nothing but a prop for Allison’s storyline to tie her over until Five gets his shit and also his siblings together and gets them out of this timeline. In this show, it is something contained to the 60s, something that won’t necessarily affect Allison going forward, because I don’t think they’ll have her activism carry over into the new Sparrow timeline, and frankly, I don’t want to see the TUA writers try to repurpose the BLM movement in this show. It’s something to talk about and appropriate the Civil Rights movement which, even though fundamentally having the same aim as BLM, has a set history, and something else to utilise an on-going movement for your profit. Allison’s siblings were apathetic because in the grand scheme of things, the Civil Rights plot didn’t really matter, and also, most of the alive siblings are white, and the one who is Latino didn’t get discriminated against, so who should sympathise with her? Like, I get that Allison being involved in the Civil Rights movement is a good move for her character, a logical one even. It’s just that I don’t think there was any way to do it justice in the way Season 2 is set up, and so now a real-life, incredibly impactful movement reads like an afterthought in this show.

[chicagocityofclans]

Natasha ‘Nat’ Aeryn Mahoney → Parisa Fitz-Henley, Arielle Kebbel, Zoe Saldana and Gemma Chan → Human Shifters 

→ Basic Information 

Age: 198

Gender: Female

Sexuality: Straight 

Birthday: July 26th

Zodiac Sign: Leo

Religion: Paganism

→ Her Personality Natasha is a lively person and has an energetic personality. She is always on alert, and prefers being active as opposed to just hanging around. With her upbeat and often inspiring personality, Natasha makes friends easily and attracts people from all walks of life. She has a way with words and an uncanny ability to motivate others. Natasha can be very successful and happy in any profession that requires communication skills and understanding of people. Which makes moving and starting new careers very easy for her. Natasha has a notable leader personality with a high need for security, a sense of justice and spiritual development. She is the youngest triplet but has always led her sisters in every way possible. Natasha is also sensitive and self-conscious. She is quick to take someone within her heart with a deep need to feel loved and wanted.

Natasha is passionate about all her relationships. She tends to be whatever they need; a friend, mother, sister, protector, counselor, provider, professor, defender, etc. It is easy for her to consider friends as her family. Natasha has many friends of all shapes, sizes and species. She will take the things shared with her to her grave. Just like her relationship with Sirius. It took him over a year for him to discuss his pack on a personal level with her. She has not shared any of her knowledge with her sisters or anybody else. She has her secrets and feels confident that she will never tell anyone; unless their lives are in danger and then she will be willing to give enough to save them. This feeds into her fiercely overprotective side. She can become aggressive and hostile in nature when wronged or if those she considers family is wronged. Once her loyalty is lost, she will be rude and unapologetic, wanting whoever hurt her to feel her pain. 

→ Her Personal Facts

Occupation: Lawyer

Scars: None

Tattoos: Depends on Shift 

Two Likes: Learning and Naturalism 

Two Dislikes: Abusers and Rude Tourists 

Two Fears: Cleithrophobia and Never getting married

Two Hobbies: Reading and Triathlon

Three Positive Traits: Active, Spirited, Passionate

Three Negative Traits: Compulsive, Self-Indulgent, Secretive

→ Her Connections

Parent Names:

Katina Popov (Mother): Katina and Natasha are close. They have a regular mother-daughter relationship. They talk nearly every other day on the phone. While Katina, Nikolai and Natasha’s brothers are still in Russia, Katina has visited her in Nashville multiple times. The only time they seem to disagree is when it comes to Natasha’s love life. Katina knows about her relationship with Sirius and has continuously expressed her need for grandchildren.

Nikolai Popov III (Father): Nikolai and Natasha did not bond until Natasha was older. Nikolai was always away or working. It wasn’t until Natasha, Annika, and Galina planned to leave Russia, did Nikolai take more of an interest in them. He taught them how to take care of themselves away from home. He did not want them to leave and be taken advantage of. They do not talk as much but Nikolai still asks for reports on Natasha and her sisters. 

Sibling Names:

Galina Mahoney (Sister): Galina is one of Natasha triplets. Galina, Natasha and Annika have a close relationship. They do everything together and share all of their shifts. It's rare to find them not posing as triplets or sisters. Natasha does not love or care for one sister over the other. There are some days where she cannot tell herself a part from Galina or Annika. Galina and Annika have both moved to Chicago with Natasha. Galina has taken a job as a correctional officer at an all women's prison. Natasha is worried that the job may be too stressful for Galina.

Annika Mahoney (Sister): Annika is one of Natasha triplets. Natasha, Galina and Annika have a close relationship. They do everything together and share all of their shifts. It's rare to find them not posing as triplets or sisters. Natasha does not love or care for one sister over the other. There are some days where she cannot tell herself a part from Galina or Annika. Galina and Annika have both moved to Chicago with Natasha. Annika has taken a job as a police officer at the local police department. Annika has started making friends away from Galina and Natasha which has never happened before. Natasha is unsure how she feels about it but has chosen to encourage Annika newfound friendships. 

Nikolai Popov IV (Brother): Nikolai is Gennady’s twin and Natasha’s younger brother. Nikolai and Gennady were annoying growing up but as adults, Natasha has grown to love her annoying brothers. Nikolai has married and their families get along great. Nikolai and his wife have yet to have children while they travel the world; enjoying life before settling down to start a family and a career. 

Gennady Popov (Brother): Gennady is Nikolai’s twin and Natasha’s younger brother. Nikolai and Gennady were annoying growing up but as adults, Natasha has grown to love her annoying brothers. Gennady works in a lab, specializing in genetic engineering. While Gennady has not married yet, he has adopted orphaned human shifters. Their parents had once frowned upon it but spoiled their 7 grandchildren rotten. Gennady is currently in the process of adopting anyone.

Dola Chellingworth (Sister): Dola is Natasha’s youngest sibling. Dola was born while Natasha, Galina and Annika were in Nashville. She married a man she met while at university. Natasha has met the Englishman a few times and sees him in the background when she and Dola speak. Natasha does not like him but he makes Dola happy. Natasha is waiting to settle in Chicago before inviting them to move closer and possibly join the Chicago clan.

Children Names:

None

Romantic Connections:

Sirius Cobic (Boyfriend): Natasha met Sirius 7 years ago via a mutual connection. He was in Chicago while she was in Nashville. They would text, talk and video chat for hours. There was not a day that went by where they were not in some form of contact. In the past 4 years, they have met a few times in person and have vacationed together too. Natasha was planning on ending their relationship if Sirius refused, again, to take their relationship to the next level. Sirius asked for her to move to Chicago. Natasha is hoping that it does not take as long for him to propose or for them to start a family. 

Platonic Connections:

Churchill Darling (New Friend): Nat has heard a lot about Churchill and is eager to meet him. She thinks they may have crossed paths before but is unsure. 

Vincent Kane (New Friend): Nat has heard and saw Vincent in the background while speaking with Sirius. Recently, Vincent has done her background check and interviewed her for the lawyer position in Chicago. 

Lillian Pickford (New Friend): Nat was given both Lillian and Adelaide names for her new position as a lawyer. Lillian has kept in contact with her via email and has already invited her out for lunch and possibly dinner with her family. 

Arthur ‘Art’ Milligan Jr. (New Friend): Just like Vincent and Churchill, Nat has heard alot about Art and has also heard his voice in the background while speaking to Sirius. Sirius has shared his concerns about Art’s magical connections and Annika has offered to help in any way she can; mostly out of curiosity. 

Winston Abioye (New Friend): Winston tried to flirt with Natasha on her first day but she quickly told him she was with Sirius. He seemed shocked and asked her for any stories she was willing to share. He seems pleasant enough. 

Adelaide Blanchett (New Friend): Nat was given both Lillian and Adelaide names for her new position as a lawyer. Adelaide was kind enough to give Nat a call welcoming her as a new lawyer. Adelaide has kept in touch over the process, Nat and her sisters are eager to meet her. 

Montgomery Wilders (New Friend): Nat has heard of Monty and knows about his relationship with Adelaide. She remembers Sirius asking her for advice when he first took in the young couple. 

Robert Fischer (New Friend): Just like Vincent and Churchill, Nat has heard alot about Robert and has also heard his voice in the background while speaking to Sirius. Lately, Nat has noticed Sirius no longer talks about him and was shocked when she noticed a familiar name running for mayor. 

Inez Sparks (New Friend): Inez is another name Nat has been hearing from Sirius. She is excited to meet her and thinks they’ll get along well. Nat and her sisters aren’t strangers to need to play certain roles for people they consider friends. 

Douglas Gish (New Friend): Douglas has also played a role in her hiring process. He seems friendly and has taken an interest in Galina. 

Hostile Connections:

Raul Santiago (Strong Dislike): Natasha knew Raul in Nashville. They had some of the same warlock and witch connections. It was easy becoming friends with the cross country teleport; especially since she used him to deliver a few things to her parents and siblings. Sadly, Raul ghosted Natasha without reason. She tried to get in contact with him multiple times without any luck. She knows he lived in Chicago before they stopped talking and is unsure if she should seek him out or let bygones be bygones.

Pets:

None

[chasholidays]

I would love some sort of space!pirates deal. Like Farscape maybe, in how Aeryn (Clarke) gets ousted from the Peacekeepers, and she continues thinking they're the Right Side, until she realises that aren't that good at all? (Farscape has a pretty good wiki, but this is only very vaguely related to it.)

“Okay,” says Miller. “Who wants to go to Ganymede?”

“What’s on Ganymede?” asks Clarke, sounding wary.

“What’s anywhere we’ve got a job?” Bellamy ask, turning to look at her. “A ship that has more money than it needs.”

“Most ships aren’t planetside,” she shoots back.

“Ganymede is a moon, not a planet,” says Monty, absent. “And there’s a ship docked there that we want to hit.”

“Freighter Osiris,” says Raven, pulling the information up on the display. “Stuck on Ganymede for repairs for–well, we’ll see how long I can keep it there. I figure at least a couple days, right?”

“Why keep it on Ganymede?” Clarke asks. “Catch them on the way out.”

“We are catching it on the way out,” says Raven. “But we’re sabotaging it first. It’s a Helios-class ship, those things have security like you wouldn’t believe.”

“This one is a gift,” Monty adds. “It’s like they want us to steal from them.”

“That’s definitely what they want, yeah,” says Bellamy. But he’s still watching Clarke, curious. She’s only been on the crew for a few months, and Bellamy always takes a while to get to trust people. And Clarke is complicated. She’s intelligent and resourceful, a good addition to the team. But she’s also aloof and solitary. Which Bellamy gets, honestly. He, Miller, Raven, and Monty have been a crew for a while, and they’re close. Raven’s the one who vouched for Clarke, and even though they have have some kind of history, it’s doesn’t seem to be a history that lets Clarke just slot into their lives. “You got a problem with Ganymede?” he asks her.

“Clarke’s issues are Clarke’s business,” says Raven. “If she doesn’t want to go to Ganymede, we can drop her off. Same as anyone else, right?”

There’s just enough of an edge to her voice to convince Bellamy to let it go; he might not trust Clarke yet, but he does trust Raven, and Raven trusts Clarke.

Still, it feels like having something stuck in one of his back teeth, every time he looks at her. He doesn’t like not knowing things, and the list of things he doesn’t know about Clarke feels endless.

“I never said I wouldn’t go,” she says, not unreasonably. “I’ll go.”

“Cool,” says Raven. “So, let’s talk plans.”

*

From a moral perspective, Bellamy’s job might not be the best. After all, “the greater good” is a very nebulous thing, and when one’s definition of the greater good is in conflict with the law, it gets even dicier. On the one hand, Bellamy thinks the laws are bad and the jobs they take are good. On the other, they’re outlaws who steal from the rich and only give back to the poor in the sense that they’re helping their own friends and family. They aren’t, overall, trying to fix the galaxy. They’re just trying to get by, and maybe get some revenge.

He wouldn’t mind a revolution either, if he’s honest, but that’s going to take some time.

For now, the plan is simple: go to Ganymede, hack the ship, and loot it once it’s off world. It’s a federation ship, which means it’s a dangerous hit, but Bellamy trusts Raven and Monty not to do anything that will get them killed.

Which is why he has to ask her about Clarke.

“Is it safe to bring her to Ganymede?”

Raven doesn’t pretend to misunderstand. “It’s her call, right?”

“She was nervous.”

“And if I thought bringing her on a mission would jeopardize it, I wouldn’t do it. Look, if you want to talk to Clarke, talk to Clarke. I’m not your go-between.”

“You’re the one I trust.”

“Then trust me. I’m not going to let Clarke get us killed. No one’s getting us killed, if I can help it. You aren’t still seriously worried about this, are you?” she asks. “It’s been months. If you have doubts–”

“You have to admit she’s not exactly fitting in.”

“And?”

“And I don’t like not knowing about my allies, Raven.”

“So ask her, like I said. I trust her, and if you don’t, that’s between the two of you. If you’re worried, you can always skip Ganymede. We can get by without you.”

“I’m not skipping. You’d be asking the same thing if you were me,” he adds, and Raven shrugs.

“And you’d be telling me the same thing.”

“Depends on the person,” he says. “Some of them, I’d probably just tell you what their deal was.”

“And if you wouldn’t?”

If he wouldn’t tell her about something like that, it would be because it was his friend’s business, and something they didn’t want shared. He can relate, even.

But he doesn’t know how to just ask Clarke.

“Yeah, okay,” he says anyway. “I get it. I’m being an asshole.”

“Par for the course. We good now?”

“We’re good. If you say it’s safe, then it’s safe. That’s all I need.”

“As safe as anything we do. Not going to promise we don’t get caught, but if something happens, Clarke’s not going to be why.”

“Just our usual shitty luck and incompetence?”

“You know it. Now leave me alone.”

As he goes, he passes Clarke’s door, closed, but with the indicator light on to show she’s inside. He could just go and talk to her, even try to be friendly. Hey, you seemed weird about Ganymede, everything okay? It’s what he’d do if it was Monty or Raven, and similar to what he’d do with Miller. It’s what he should do with Clarke.

Instead, he keeps walking. If she wants to talk, she knows where he lives.

*

“Okay, Bellamy and Clarke, you’re going first.”

The two of them exchange a look. They’re an hour out of the jump to Ganymede, and Bellamy hadn’t known what to expect out of this meeting. Him and Clarke being thrown off the ship wasn’t a possibility that crossed his mind.

“Going where?” Clarke asks.

“You’re getting supplies and we don’t want you tied to the Prospero if anyone figures out we’re involved. I’ll take Monty and Raven to the shipyard to work on the Osiris, you two are taking the Ariel And meeting us at the coordinates in the autopilot in two standard days. “Make sense?”

It makes total sense, so much that Bellamy has no possible reason to object. He and Clarke are the most logical people for a supply run, and if anyone gets suspicious, they don’t want their own activities to lead anyone back to the Prospero. They’ve done it before, when they have things to do on the ground, but he hadn’t really put it together this time.

And he’s never been told to go with Clarke before.

“Sounds good to me,” he says, glancing at her. She looks as cool as ever, no reaction to the assignment at all that he can see. “Clarke?”

“Yeah. Meet you in the hanger in twenty?”

“Sure.”

As he gets his things together, he tries to remember if he and Clarke have ever actually been alone before. They have been for brief periods of time, but just little things. Being the only two people in the mess hall or the cockpit isn’t the same as being away from the entire crew, the only two people on the shuttle.

If it didn’t make so much sense from a mission perspective, he’d assume Raven and Miller were forcing them to talk.

Clarke is already in the co-pilot seat, doing pre-flight checks, when he gets to the hanger. He stows his own luggage and takes the pilot seat, gives her a nod. Their only conversation, until they’re in the gate, is practicalities, and once those have run out, Bellamy isn’t sure what he’s supposed to say.

Clarke gives it a minute and then says, “You don’t like me.”

It shouldn’t be unexpected, but he somehow assumed she realized, perhaps through some kind of telepathy, that he mostly thought well of her. But he can see how it would, without such gifts, come across as dislike.

“I don’t really know you,” he says. “But I don’t dislike you.”

She snorts. “That makes me feel so much better.”

“You don’t like me.”

“I was following your lead.”

“I was following yours!”

She flashes him a grin, and he finds himself smiling back.

“Well, we’ve got a while,” he says. “Might as well take advantage of it and get to know each other, right?”

“Right.” She lets out a huff of breath. “I was a heda on Ganymede.”

It takes him a minute to place the word, and then he jerks to look at her, aghast. “Like–law enforcement?”

“Yeah.”

“Heda is pretty high up.”

“Yeah. I might get recognized.”

“And that’s not worrying you?” he asks. She certainly sounds calm.

“I left on good terms by my own choice, and I was told I’d be welcome back any time.”

She’s speaking common, but it feels as if he’s missing words, somehow. Every individual one is coherent, but put together, he’s still lost. “When was that?”

“Right before I came to you.”

“So, you quit law enforcement, left Ganymede, and called up your pirate friend to join her crew?”

She actually laughs a little, just a soft huff, but it’s encouraging. “She didn’t tell me she was a pirate. But she told me if I ever got tired of being a heda, I should give her a call. I think she knew how corrupt the whole system was. I hadn’t figured it out yet.”

“How did you?”

“I didn’t. My father did, and they killed him. They didn’t realize I knew, and since it was supposed to look like an accident, I had a good excuse to get out. He died in the line of duty, I decided to leave to get my head on straight.”

“And joined some pirates.”

“And joined some pirates. You’re a pirate, I assume you’re not going to try to claim the moral high ground.”

“No, definitely not. I guess if my government killed someone in my family, I’d turn against them too.” He pauses. “Actually, I guess that was kind of what happened.”

“Yeah?”

“I was born on Earth, in a population-controlled area. My mother got pregnant and kept it secret because she wanted to keep the baby. We managed to keep her secret for a long time, but once she was found out, we were told we were only cleared as a two-person family, and one member of the family would have to go.”

“Fuck. I heard about that, but–I can’t imagine. Ganymede’s not perfect, but no one ever got killed for having too many children.”

“She knew what would happen, but–fuck. We got out as soon as we could, after my mom was executed. Used the emotional distress stipend to book a flight to Mars and never looked back.”

“What about your sister?”

“Still on Mars, in school. I told her she couldn’t join the crew until she finished university.”

Clarke smiles. “Finish your education, then join the revolution.”

“You really think we’re revolutionaries?”

“I think we’re working on it.”

“I guess we probably are.” He takes a minute to consider, realigning his knowledge of Clarke. “So, what do you need me to do on Ganymede? Anything special? What should I expect?”

“I don’t know. It’s been almost eight months since I was there, but my family is well known. I might be welcomed.”

“So we’re not going to be subtle.”

“No. That’s why I told Miller I should be away from the rest of the crew.”

“Except me.”

“That was his idea, not mine. Not that I mind,” she adds, quick, and he smiles.

“So we’re actually expecting to be conspicuous.”

“Yeah. My mother is still there too, and wealthy. So we should keep our eyes open for people following us, make sure we don’t get a tracker. We’re the danger here.”

“Fun,” he says, dry. “I’ve never been a celebrity before.”

“It’s not as fun as you think,” she says. “But as long as we don’t all get killed, I’ll count it as a win.”

*

They don’t get killed. Not that it’s generally surprising to Bellamy these days, when they survive a mission, but it’s always cause for celebration. He and Clarke run into some excitement on Ganymede, but it’s of a completely new kind. When Clarke lived on the satellite, she lived on the other side, but an ex-girlfriend of hers moved over here, and they run into her, and some of the heda recognize her and want to see how it’s been going. She introduces him as her new partner, says they’re traders, which is their official cover story, and that she’s still figuring out where she wants to be, what her place in the universe is. It’s the kind of vague, wishy-washy answer he’d expect from a child of privilege who lost a parent, and he doubts anyone would guess that she decided to join up with pirates. She asks one of the heda about her mother, finds she’s off-world, which simplifies things. They pick up supplies, find a tracker on the ship and get it off, and make it back to the rendezvous without issue. Whatever Raven and Monty did to the freighter, it works, and they get most of the cargo off before anyone’s noticed they’re there. The ensuing chase is a little tight, but they make it to the gate and jump into hyperspace without the freighter on their tail.

“No problems on Ganymede, right?” Miller asks. Time is always tight before they’ve escaped.

“We found a tracker,” Bellamy says. “So unless the one we got was a decoy and there’s a much better one we missed, we’re good.”

“Monty, Raven, do another scan, just to be safe. It would suck if Clarke got attached to us, but at least we can lose the trail in the jump if that happens. Everyone else–”

“There are only two of us, you can just call us by our names,” Bellamy protests.

“Get some sleep,” Miller concludes, ignoring him. “We’ll drop out of jump a couple times just to be safe, and then unload cargo at the dropship tomorrow night. Good job, team.”

He and Clarke walk in silence, but when they reach her room, she lingers for a moment, just a moment, as if she doesn’t want to go in, and that’s all the encouragement he needs. She’s his crew mate, he trusts her. Like all of them, she realized the world she lived in wasn’t the world she wanted to live in, and made steps to change it. He might not know her well yet, but he knows her well enough that he wants to know her better. And that means he wants her to stay.

“Are you tired?” he asks.

“Hm?”

“Are you going to go to sleep?”

“Oh, no. Not right away.” She smiles. “I always have trouble sleeping after a job. Too much adrenaline.”

“Me too. I was going to go to the common room, maybe watch something. Do you want to come?”

Happiness blossoms on her face. She’s always lovely, so it’s hard to call it a transformation, but she is even lovelier. “That would be nice, yes.”

Miller shows up a few minutes later, and then Monty and Raven, once they’re done with the scan of the Ariel. Raven nudges Clarke’s knee, and Clarke presses closer to Bellamy to make room for her. She’s not quite pressed up against him, but she’s warm and close, and he thinks he could happily spend many more evenings like this.

He thinks he probably will.

Clarke pokes his arm. “You’re hitting my ribs.”

He pulls it up and puts it around her shoulders instead, like he would if she was anyone else on the crew. His heartbeat wouldn’t pick up for anyone but her, but that’s a problem for another day. “Better?” he asks instead.

She snuggles in, apparently more than content. “Better.”

[duskaris]

Day 8: Festival

I know this is a day late, but I had a bunch of school work due yesterday that took priority. I’ve gotten most of my weekend due dates covered already so I’m going to try to do two tomorrow, since I also have the day off work. As for this one, I’m not the proudest of it, but it’s not terrible, just a bit rushed. I might work on it a bit and add an actual ending instead just stopping. Thanks to @oc-growth-and-development for the prompt list!

The winter solstice had always been Aeryn’s favourite holiday. Dancing and drinking in the cool winter night, a thin layer of snow crunching under foot. Unfortunately, the festivities of the night did not dispel the bureaucracies of her daytime work. Instead of getting ready with the rest of her friends, she was stuck in her office talking to some official that absolutely refused to see things the way she did, their arguments repeatedly circling around. As frustrating as these conversations usually were, Aeryn didn’t actively dislike them, instead seeing them as a way to use her gift of speech to carefully weave a web to catch them in agreement. But that was when she had no better things to do. As the official droned on, she snuck a meaningful look at Jay, who was standing dutifully by the entrance, almost as still as a statue. He pretended to ignore it but Aeryn could see the barest wisp of a smile tug at the corners of his mouth. The official finally finished, giving Aeryn a chance to speak.

“Okay, but have you considered that the solution you propose would only cause more issues several years in the future? How do you propose we solve those?” She asked, trying to reword her rebuttal to avoid another long tangent.

“I-well-we could-” Aeryn put up her hand.

“Let me stop you right there. You’re so-called solution is poorly thought out and causes a problem even greater than the one it’s trying to solve.” Normally she wouldn’t be so blunt, but she was long past the point of being diplomatic. The official’s face turned red. Anger or embarrassment? Hard to tell. Barely bidding her farewell, he stood and excited her office. She let out a long sigh of relief. As these conversations go, most of them had at least a solid foundation. This one would work about as well as a sandcastle being hit by a tsunami. She was shaken out of her thoughts by the sound of footsteps approaching. Mentally preparing herself for a second round, she was pleasantly surprised when it was her wife that popped through the door. Aeryn almost gasped when she saw what she was wearing. A midnight blue dress that framed her body perfectly, her straight brown hair now hung in gentle curls that went to her shoulders.

“Rough meeting?” Sofra asked sympathetically. Aeryn nodded in response.

“You look beautiful,” Aeryn said, stepping over to her and gently embracing her. From up close, she could see Sofra’s earrings, sapphires embedded in silver, glinting from the light overhead.

“I know,” Sofra replied with a smirk, stepping away to do a spin. The soft fabric splayed outwards before going back to hanging flawlessly

“When did you get changed?” 

“Came up here straight away. Me, Clarissa, Wren, and Jack all got ready together.”

“Jack?” Aeryn asked, a bit surprised.

“Yeah, since you weren’t coming, we told him he should instead. Even offered him your dress.” They laughed, and Aeryn even saw Jay hold back a giggle.

“First, I wasn’t going to wear a dress,” Aeryn said firmly before continuing. “Second, did he?” She knew the answer, but asked anyway.

“Yup. I don’t know if he plans to leave it on the full time though.” Sofra said. The mental image of Jack wearing the purple dress that her friends had intended for her to wear.

“You know he will. He’s nothing if not committed” Sofra playfully stuck out her tongue.

“If you’re not going to wear a dress, what are you going to wear?”

“My dress uniform,” Aeryn stated plainly.

“That’s what you always wear to these things,” the other girl complained. “You gotta expand your comfort zone.”

“Do I or do I not look absolutely dashing in my dress uniform?” Aeryn challenged.

“I mean, of course you do,” Sofra conceded reluctantly.

“Then what’s the problem? Besides, I don’t want to take any attention away from the lovely lady at my arm.” Sofra couldn’t argue that.

A few hours later, the group gathered in Sunlight Town. As they entered the celebrations, they all paired up. Aeryn and Sofra led the group, Clairissa and her current boyfriend just behind them. Jack, still wearing the dress, had convinced Rowan to take his arm as a couple would, Jack’s actual girlfriend walking on the other side and wheezing from laughing. Rowan was obviously embarrassed about the situation, but Jack would not relent. Mikel, Jay, Wren, and Ivy brought up the rear. Wren was holding her daughter’s hand to keep her with her, while simultaneously reassuring a nervous Jay that he had a place here with them, a routine that repeated every time there was a large event or celebration. 

The night was cold and the ground was covered in a layer of snow turned to slush under the crowd. Confetti was scattered among it, a mess to be cleaned up after a long rest. The group separated and reformed as the festivities went on. Wren left the earliest, needing to put her daughter to bed. The rest stayed late, enjoying the cider and the company.

[raptorfiction]

Moon’s Mark

(TRIGGER WARNING: TORTURE)

Aeryn cropped onto one of the stools lined along the bar counter in her home. Reaching out, her fingers ran through the lush black fur of her feline companion, Wiggums. Somewhere between the size of a large house cat and a small Senche, the ebony coloured beast plodded his way closer to the Bosmer and sprawled itself out-- more surface area for attention. Just a few moments before, Aeryn had been confronted by the leader of the Bay Tar Bandits, Lazarus Haze.

It was extremely unusual for her to encounter an intruder in her home. Especially her private home, locked away in the ruins of an Argonian temple. The door to the temple itself weighed at least half a ton, if not more. The only way for someone to move it enough to slip in was if they were bodybuilders of a sort, or preternaturally strong. A Werewolf for instance--or a Vampire. The entire episode had left her mildly unnerved, though she had managed to keep that hidden from Lazarus while he was there. He had offered her a contract. A job. Of the permanent sort. It was an offer she would have to be high on Skooma and drunk on sujamma to refuse. And so she had accepted.

A gentle yet jolting nip to her fingers brought Aeryn out of her thoughts and back into reality. Accusatory emerald eyes stared up at her, and the woman let out a soft chuckle.

“Right, of course. How could I forget?” Reaching into one of the pockets of her jacket, Aeryn retrieved a large parcel wrapped in brown paper and tied with hempen rope. “Your dinner, for being so patient.”

If a cat could smile, Wiggums would have grinned. With a loving boop of his head to her forehead, he then turned and shredded the parcel’s wrapping. Inside, were about a dozen dried fish, native to the Valenwood. Giving a happy purr, the cat began to feast away as Aeryn stood and made her way upstairs to her bedroom.

Tugging her jacket off, she tossed it onto one of the nearby shelves and walked over to her nightstand. She placed a hand on either side and leaned in, taking a deep breath to calm herself and prepare for what was to come next. She had begun plotting in her head when she suddenly remembered something. Hanging from her belt was a large leather pouch. Removing it, she pulled out the contents. A newly cleaned, pristine skull--Khajiit no less. Carefully she placed it on a shelf with more of its kind. In total, about half a dozen skulls sat in a neat line on a shelf above her bed. Trophies, as it were, of her more successful job assignments.

And with that having been done, Aeryn’s mind set to work mode. Immediately she shifted to her personal stocks and replenished her arrows. From there she pulled off empty vials from her belts and added full ones. Poisons, sedatives, hallucinogens, and antidotes; the latter for herself of course.

Plopping down onto her bed, she reached under a pillow for her whetstone and began to sharpen the daggers she kept at her side for backup. She planned to use everything at her disposal. And to fulfill her new boss’s request, she was going to have to do something she didn’t do often-- go undercover. With a sigh, she finished tending to her weapons and stood up, moving to her mirror. She turned once, twice, three times as she looked herself over.

The tattoos would have to be covered, no getting around that. Luckily, she always carried cosmetics around for just such an occasion. Plenty of nice gowns as well. She always kept trinkets and bits from her jobs for just such occasions. Helped that she knew how to sew as well; she could alter dresses and outfits as needed in order to fit her tiny person.

With everything in place, there was only one thing left to do-- travel to Deshaan and deal with the man who had employed her. A job she had no qualms about taking up as--like many Dunmer--the individual in question was arrogant and rude. He had even cheaped out on her when it had come time for payment. A cruelly wicked smirk curled the edges of her lips as she stepped out the door, ready to make good on her contract.

Mournhold, Deshaan. Some festival or another was underway and the streets and taverns were filled with the denizens of the city. Floating along effortlessly in a ruby coloured gown trimmed with gold, Aeryn kept her eyes open for her one-time benefactor. She knew from what she had gleaned during their contractual conversations that he was a member of House Telvanni. From the trappings around them, to the way he carried himself, to the staff resting nearby.

The individuals he had contracted her to kill had slighted him in some way or another--she tuned him out for the most part when he rambled about the ‘why’. As per her usual, she kept a mask on when she met with him; she didn’t need anyone to be able to identify her for occasions such as this. And to her benefit, it was unlikely he remembered her voice. Not that she would be using her usual monotone manner this evening.

As she was preparing to turn into a tavern, she overheard the haughty, nasal tone of her target’s voice. It was as though fate had intervened to give her this opportunity. Waltzing her way over, as soon as she was within earshot she gasped and squealed aloud.

“Oh… my… GODS. It… it’s YOU! Magister Tervil! I may just faint!” She began to fan herself with her hands in a fit of wild swooning. “I’ve read your theorem on interplanar soul dispersal and entrapment and I am a HUGE fan. Like… I don’t even know where to start!”

“Erm.” The taller, lankier Dunmer seemed momentarily taken aback by the sudden outburst. But once he caught his bearings, he sucked his breath in and puffed out his chest, clearly soaking in the adulation. A haughty smirk crossed his lips and echoed in his voice as he spoke. “Ah yes. One of my finer pieces for sure. I wasn’t aware that too many people had read it, let alone understood it.”

“Oh but I do!” Aeryn slunk closer, grabbing at Tervil’s hand, holding it like it was a treasure. “It was absolutely divine how you theorized that trapping a soul in a soul gem was simply storing it in another planar sphere, and that daedra can be trapped and used the same way as mortals! You’re a genius! You’re my idol! I always dreamed of meeting you!”

Leaning down, she planted a kiss on the back of his hand. At first he tried to pull his hand away, but with a hefty sigh, allowed her to shower him with praise and affection. Aeryn continued with her charade for a bit longer before the magister eventually invited her back to his home. Thanks to the assistance of a suggestion drug mixed well into her lipstick.  Once settled into his private chambers, she began to fuss and fawn over him.

“Oh no, no, no! Let me pour that wine for you! Such a distinguished gentleman shouldn’t have to wait on others!” Scurrying over to the tea table where the bottle of wine and glasses sat, she filled the cups. Before turning around to serve them, she pulled a small vial from her bosom, coated the rim of one of the glasses and replaced the vial fast as a blink of the eye.

“Heeere we aaaare.” She announces in a sing song tone of voice, handing the poisoned chalice to Tervil. Lifting her glass, she offered a toast before taking a sip.

None the wiser to Aeryn’s plotting, the magister took a sip from his glass, and then another. As he drank, Aeryn hid a smirk behind the rim of her glass, watching the fool add more and more poison to his system. Finally, it hit his system, causing his body to freeze, unable to move or speak.

With a devious grin, Aeryn set her chalice to the side and meandered over to Tevril, settling herself in his lap. Looping her arms around his shoulders, she grinned wide--a unnatural, wicked grin.

“Ah, Master Tevril.” Her voice lost all facade of of friendliness or admiration. “I trust I need no introduction…” Gently she caressed the side of his face with the back of her hand. When he attempted to speak, she placed a finger over his lips. “Ah, ah, ah. The poison I’ve dosed you with has paralyzed your body. You’re unable to speak, move, or do anything to stop me. But don’t worry, you’ll be able to feel everything.”

From beneath her skirt she pulled a small dagger and ran it down the side of the man’s cheek. As she got near to the law line, she pulled it swiftly down and away, leaving a small incision.

“You see, Master Tevril,” She began as she stood, spinning the knife against a finger. “You’ve made some people rather.... Upset with your recent choices.” And to drive the point home, she threw the knife, lodging it in the bedside between Tevril’s legs, only centimeters away from a rather sensitive area.

The Dunmer whimpered in fear, though there was little else he could do. Aeryn ripped the knife out of the bed and shoved it violently into one of Tevril’s thighs. “And I’ve been paid good money to make sure you suffer before I end your pitiful existence.”

And with that, she shoved the Dunmer back onto his bed and procured some fabric she fashioned into bindings. Tying his hands together above his head, she fastened them to the head of his bed, leaving his feet free. He couldn’t fight against her even if he wanted to, but Aeryn refused to take any chances. Wadding up some of the fabric, she placed it in his mouth so he couldn’t scream for help if the poison wore off while she worked.

Moving her way down to his feet, she spun the knife in her hand before moving to his toes. Glancing up once so that she was certain he was watching her, she slowly--excruciatingly slowly--began to slip the tip of her knife between his toenail and toe. Once the weapon was wedged deeply enough, she began to lift and pry, removing the nail in an agonizingly slow fashion. When the toe was finished, she moved on to the next, repeating the process until every toe was mangled and bleeding.

Finished with that portion of her activities, she moved on to the next. Making her way over to the fireplace, she grabbed the poker and set the tip of it in the flames. From there she returned to the bedside and reached out, ripping Tevril’s trousers open. A dark chuckle bubbled forth from her chest as she returned to fetch the now red-hot poker.

“A shame you can’t scream…” And with that, she lowered the poker onto his exposed nethers, reveling in the smell of burning flesh. When the heat from the poker waned, she returned to the fire, reheated it and picked up where she left off until there was nothing left but a mass of burned and mutilated flesh.

Having no further use for it, she tossed the poker off to the side. Tears were now streaming down Tevril’s face; he still couldn’t move or make sounds beyond quiet whimpers. That suited Aeryn just fine as she prepared for the next step of her session.

Reaching for her knife, she grabbed his tunic and sliced it open. She tore away the remnants of the tattered fabric and began to trace the knife lightly in looping designs. At least at first. As she continued looping and swirling, the pressure gradually became harder and harder until she was etching looping gashes into his exposed torso. Blood pooled and began to drip, running down his sides onto the bedspread beneath him.

Having enough of the “playtime” she had been enjoying. She finally stood and unbound his hands from the headboard.

“Get up. I’m ready for this to end. You’re boring me.” Grabbing him roughly, she threw him to the ground and then faced him towards his bed. Extending the length of the bindings, she tied his hands to the bed posts, keeping them secure. “This isn’t going to be a quick end. Orders, after all.”

Looking around, she found something that would work as a small hand axe. Grabbing it, she moved back to Tevril, his bare back exposed to her. Bringing the axe in front of her, she hovered it over one side before swinging it back and bringing it down hard. The blade sunk into his dark grey skin, the sound of bone cracking faintly audible. Aeryn continued to hack away, blood, flesh and bone spraying upwards, flecks of it covering Aeryn from head to toe. She wiped her brow and took a breather for a moment, Tevril’s innards exposed now through sliced and opened ribs. Reaching inside, she pulled the Dunmer’s lungs outwards gently and laid them over his shoulders so that he vaguely resembled an eagle with its wings folded.

“I’m curious to see how long you can hold out…” Aeryn makes her way around the bed and crouches down, watching Tevril struggle to stay alive. One minute, two… after five minutes, the light in Tevril’s eyes faded and his body went limp. “Hmph. Five minutes. Suppose I shouldn’t have expected more.”

Standing up, she returned to Tevril’s side. With her makeshift axe, she hacked away and removed the head, as requested. Making a makeshift pouch out of the torn fragments of his tunic and breeches, Aeryn then shuffled through the magister’s wardrobe to find a change of clothes not covered in blood. Once changed, she slipped out of the estate, leaving the headless, blood eagled body for the staff to find whenever they were to come by next.

Aeryn had completed her task and was headed home to wait for Lazarus to show.

[360degreesasthecrowflies]

2017 FarscapeWatch: 1.01 ‘Premiere’

I’ve made a few posts about this before, but for any new readers, welcome. This is the first official entry in my FarscapeWatch series for 2017. I’ve never seen the show before, and so I decided to react to it and write down my thoughts as I watch each episode, and make a series of it. As a millennial LGBT Brit, what I’ll end up thinking of this 90s US show should (hopefully) be interesting! Format wise; each of these entries will start with a stream-of-consciousness style recap of the episode and my thoughts as I watched, and will also feature character and plot analysis sections and a character ranking of my faves at the end. So without further ado...let’s get into this episode!

1.01 ‘Premiere’

Open on Earth. A dude. (Main dude?) Oh, he's pretty hot. Nasa? Astronaut. American Dude. A bit Buzz Lightyear. Douchey 90s scientist friend. I'm getting slight Fantastic Four vibes, but our main guy is more Ben Grimm than Mr F. Working with his dad, okay. This guy's an astronaut, so could go either way scientist or dudebro. These guys are Southern? My American knowledge is not super solid. This dad and son stuff is running between charming and cringey... unsure what age this show is aimed at.

Okay the spaceship is away up. Predictably everything goes wrong: premise, activate. Wormhole to some distant part of the universe = Actual spaceships, aliens.

Interesting theme song. Very otherworldly. No lyrics or cheesy stuff. This guy seems to be our lead then unless it's ensemble.

Other major players introduced. Another human woman, improbably enough, as #2. Some kind of weird Jar Jar Binks like alien midget, a guy who will obviously be The Big Guy and a blue lady who looks like some kind of mystic Sinead O’Connor. It was the 90s, after all. Other random aliens, spaceships, space. The humans bonding, of course. And credits are done.

We're still in space. He's in a firefight? Oh great someone's crashed into him, veered off and blown up. Now there's a massive ship...space station? He's being sucked in, tractor beam or something.

Okay the CGI is not wonderful but it's the 90s so I'll whistle past it. I know this is Jim Henson so there'll be puppetry somewhere...as weird a premise for an adult show as that is.

Okay he's left the safety of the ship. Unarmed. This guy's meant to be a smart scientist?

Spaceship is...a kind of retro-junk, Firefly feel to it. Not sleek tech. Lol he's getting menaced by some little robots. Like Noo Noo from the teletubbies.

Approaching the alien people. Well done. They're not talking English, good. That's one stupid trope averted. Oh, they've noticed him. Ooh blue lady is creepy.

Oh, translation injection or something. Interesting. Oh, they think he's advanced tech...lol.

Red guy is angry. Blue woman is calm. Who'dve guessed with that character design?

Despite the size of this ship there's only a few of them on.

Little sluggy guy is a bit Emperor Palpatine. Creepy.

Did blue lady deflect some spaceships with magic, psychic powers or something? She was praying or casting a spell right before.

So the ship seems to have just got free from whatever it was locked in just by chance. Red guy did something the equivalent of kicking the computer when it won’t work, and that seemed to do the trick.

Oh, the ship can teleport, okay, so Star Trek-ish. Starburst. Cool name. Even if that's a name of some sweets here in the UK.

 We meet our enemies, I'm guessing. Red and black and military style. I like this military lady, military officer? Seems to be a second in command to this guy whose brother seems to've died in the spaceship crash.

Oh, the pilot guy is quite positive. Just called 'pilot'?

Haha...American dude (John?) is predictably aghast at all these new things and people. Americentrism in action. Definitely aimed to engage the American audience to sympathise tho. I'm getting the feeling this might end up being a show with him as lead and everyone else supporting, not an ensemble. They knock him out and spit on him lol, at least the two dudes do. Blue lady seems to be the voice of reason here.

Scene cut to blue lady and red guy. They seem to just be meeting for the first time too?? They know each others' species. Ooh blue lady is so creepy! (Zan? Xan?) She also seems to be...sexy? But also a priest? Interesting. Huh. She seems to be, surprisingly, also a bad girl. How complex. Red guy is..or seems to be a typical Honour Guy. Blue lady emasculates him a wee bit...she might be much older than him, despite flirting. Interesting.

Sets these two up to be opposite forces...but also hints at some shipping. (already! in episode 1!)

John wakes up. Thought he was dreaming, wasn't. Appears to be...naked? They've locked him up.

Palpatine comes floating by to dispense some snark. He’s a pompous ex-emperor or something. Fitting.

Oh, John's locked in with a robot or something. Huh. Oh, no, it's a woman. Mrs leading lady. Ohgod he's smiling at her and flirting. Yes! She fights back! Right away. And brutally! Oh, I quite like her too.

Officer Aeryn Sun. Cool name.

Okay, team bonding. They will all eventually become pals I imagine due to the premise and the opening. Blue lady and John seem to have some signs of bonding. On the flipside, enmity between red and Aeryn AND red and John, and no-one seems to like Palpatine.

They're all jockeying for power and leadership...bless.

Oh, there's farting and fart jokes...okay. I don't know how I feel about this. Not thrilled. Is this show aimed at adults? DVD covers seemed to suggest so.

It's a bit Xena with the sets, acting and everything.

I love how Aeryn just does not give two shits. She and blue lady are two bright spots of light in this pretty messy pilot episode.

Aeryn and John escape their cell and Aeryn immediately rats them out to her commander. The military guys come to pick them up, but don't seem to care much about Aeryn.

As it happens, Aeryn and John and the others end up on the same planet although they took different ships to get there. Red guy comes to recapture Aeryn and John. They are all menaced by military guy tho who Aeryn has snitched to.

Aeryn defends John, ish. She is being logical, but commander guy takes it for emotional.

So this is how they become a team, because Aeryn gets cast out and now has nowhere else to go and has information that can help the rest, and also because after John helps them all escape he insists on taking her too because she defended him.

Denouement; John uses scientific knowledge and Aeryn her steering ability to give the spaceship extra speed using a planet's gravity. That's actually pretty clever scripting to use all of their skills.

Post-plot finishing: we get more character stuff. Zhaan meditates naked. Red guy threatens John and is focused on being free above all else. Aeryn shows signs of being a bit of a white supremacist, or whatever the alien equivalent is. Close with John making a report/diary log, a good closer.

CHARACTER BEATS (complete with having googled character names so I know how to spell them now)

JOHN

Honourable, maybe to a fault. A bit naive. Scientific, although appearing on the surface to be a bit of a dudebro character. Reminds me a bit here of Riley from Buffy. Seems to be the main character. Quite attractive, although not my usual type. Very American in terms of what he's assuming and the jumps he's making. Also a very 90s character; seeking peaceful solutions or resolutions wherever possible, a character archetype that peaked in popularity then.

ZHAAN

An interestingly complex character for one that seems on the surface to be several easy stereotypes; the mystic, the witch, and the beautiful alien. Being a priest but also flirty/promiscuous but also the voice of reason but also showing flashes of having a manipulative streak makes for a very interesting character, to see where she goes from here and which traits become dominant. They planted a lot of seeds with her character.

 D'ARGO

Seems to be by contrast, a much less interesting character from this first episode. An Honourable Warrior archetype who is also The Big Guy, aggressive, and will probably want at some point to be the head honcho on board. Seems to have clashed with everyone so far.

 RYGEL

Shockingly like Emperor Palpatine but probably not as clever. Really good puppetry on the design. A bit of a creepy old man vibe. I can see myself not liking this character. The farting, burping and spitting is all a bit disgusting for me as well, I thought I was watching a space opera, not Dumb and Dumber. Has already in 1.01 shown hints though of having a blustering, daft facade covering a much more sly personality underneath. Reminds me a little of Boris Johnson.

 PILOT

Is the pilot literally called Pilot? Creative. This character looks to just be a face on a screen for a lot of it, and looks to probably be long-suffering having to deal with so many volatile personalities on board. Just look at that face already.

 CRAIS

Not much to say on this dude. As if one of the villains from Xena escaped that show and managed to commandeer a spacecraft. He does what he has to for plot reasons, but it's not that sophisticated a story. Still, Buffy's season 1 plot wasn't the strongest either, so I can let it go.

AERYN

Finally another character I have more to say on. I quite like her. She, like Zhaan, has a interesting mix of characteristics. She has the emotionless woman down to a T, but there's also shades of Honourable Warrior there, an archetype I don't so often see applied to women. (I haven't yet seen Wonder Woman, but I imagine that would be one notable exception) I like that she seems to be largely self-serving and will be forced to work as part of a group, I'm wondering how she'll adapt to that. Also the actress is doing a stellar job, and I can't quite make out her accent, almost British, which I wasn't expecting. Also, what a cool name and spelling.

 PLOT POINTS AS OF 1.01

The team are all together, in space

Crais and the Peacekeepers are chasing them, both because they are all criminals and for a personal vendetta

Their quests: to escape, and to go back to their homes, free

  WHAT THIS EPISODE ADVANCED:

Mainly plot setup, with a little bit of shipping between D'Argo and Zhaan, and hints of possible ship tension between Aeryn and John, although I didn't like that as much because John seemed to be assuming she'd be into buddying up. I was so happy that she stood on her own two feet and didn't fall into his arms. I feel like since the 90s, we've moved full circle on those stereotypes and now run the risk of playing into them so as to 'surprise' the audience who are used to straight subversions.

  CHARACTER RANKING AS OF 1.01:

1) Zhaan (easily)

2) Aeryn

3) John (just... none of the male characters have really caught me yet)

4) D'Argo (a dull character type)

5) Pilot (not much fuel here, but not as hateful as..)

6) Rygel (ugh)

7) Crais (probably the flattest character thus far)

and if we're ranking major AND minor characters, I'd put Crais's unnamed (?) female officer just above John because I love her attitude and delivery.

 And that's it for this episode of FarscapeWatch! Check back in my Farscape 2017 section on my blog (linked on the homepage) for my next episode reviews, as they come! Or feel free to give me a follow to catch all of my stuff ;)

Also, if you’re enjoying these, feel free to shoot me a message or comment :3

[autumnslance]

I've got a writing question that's been on my mind for a while: how do you keep your OCs from becoming self inserts? Every time I think of developing an OC I realize that it's attributes that I

Oops, you got cut off! But in general: all your OCs are going to have traits of yours; it’s inevitable. Sometimes big things, sometimes small things. It’s how we relate to them, and also just natural, I promise. We write what we know, and we know how we interact with ourselves and the world.

But there is a difference between sharing some traits with a character and making them a self-insert. It’s letting their life, their community and culture, their experiences, also influence their traits and thinking, in ways that might be different from how you would respond in a similar situation. Even if you share those attributes.

This is me so let’s go behind a cut shall we?

Dark Autumn is as introverted and solitary by nature as I am; she can and does interact in professional and friendly ways with people (as I try to do), but needs alone time to recharge. However, Dark also has a very different outlook and relationship with her family than I, since her family is large and supportive, very close knit. If family is a lottery, I got the $50 scratch off prize while she hit the Mega-Millions. So I take that into account when thinking of her relationships not just with family, but with friends and potential romantic interests; Dark sees things through a lens of positive, low-drama familial relationships that I can barely fathom. This also means she has a support network and resources myself and other characters don’t, so gets some wish fulfillment of working through issues with care and grace instead of remaining in unhealthy places. She is my “comfort OC” so gets a lot of good things I wish I had—which shapes how she responds to others, like taking care of a FCmate and becoming something of a big sister figure for him, or the responsible older sister figure of my group of OCs. Which is me, really, idealizing my own older sister tendencies into this giant woman who’s better at it.

Aeryn was written to be on the ace scale; not my first character to be so, but the first written that way as I began to realize where my own orientations lie and wanting to examine that through fiction. That she fell for a certain rogue in the process of playing through MSQ again was not at all intentional. I like Thancred as a character—he hits a lot of tropes I enjoy—but in my own mindset, he’s a frustrating younger brother. I didn’t think I’d do NPC x WoL shipping. But there it is, because in determining Aeryn’s own experiences and how those shaped her, it ended up working out that way (and I spent the better part of 2 years writing the characters separately to figure that out and if it could work before writing them together because it’s not something that comes naturally to me).

Aeryn’s internal anger is something I have a difficult time with; it’s outside my own nature to carry things like that. I have my angers, certainly, but they are different from hers. I tend to need a lot to set me off and then it burns out hot and quick. Aeryn’s more of a long boil she keeps bottled up. I’ve gotten a few things through various fics, I think, but it’s why I do things like reference arguments but rarely depict them. Being non-confrontational myself (I’m meek and have hangups thanks to my own life) it’s a challenge. Aeryn responded to childhood traumas (that I never dealt with), bullying (that I did), losses (that I haven’t yet), and the responsibility she’s been given (thank goodness I don’t) far differently than I. Maybe I’d be more volatile, too, if I had her life. But I understand where her anger comes from sharing some of the reasons, I just shape it differently than my own.

There’s a lot of things about Dark and Aeryn that are accidentally similar, just due to the timing of their character generation and other RP OCs made for other games along the way; “Oh I haven’t done X or Y in a character in awhile” sort of thing, but how each approaches those similarities and why—their quietness, their issues with using magic, their tendency to “adopt” others as family—all come from different places and resolve differently, too.

C’oretta comes from a part of me that doesn’t quite want to grow up. That wishes I had been more of the peppy, active, cheerful, risk-taking, live it up stereotypical party kid, that “popular girl” archetype I felt so often on the outside looking in about. As my second character, I wanted her to be different from Dark Autumn—visually, emotionally, mentally. Where Dark is steady, C’oretta is flighty. While Dark is people oriented, C’oretta’s a bit selfish (like I often feel). Dark’s introverted, C’oretta’s extroverted. Much of C’oretta’s attitude is a deflection against the hurts in her life, a way to fight back against some terrible things. It’s a way I could never react. But I also can’t get away from a character who loves to learn and wants to try new things—but where other characters gain the ability to stick with and see them through, C’oretta gets my easy frustration and boredom, and then the “ooh shiny” of a new interest. There’s a history of ADHD (or whatever the acronyms are now) and even autism and learning issues in my family; it’s possible I have some undiagnosed ND stuff going on, and people have noted these things in C’oretta that I’ve based on my own experiences and those of people very close to me.

Many of my characters have traits I wish I had, or were better at; patience, kindness, consideration, convictions, courage, thoughtfulness, and so on and etc. They’re good at skills I haven’t the knowledge in, or the ability to do. They’re certainly more active than I am, or could be! Because I can take the time to think and plan and research and write those things out better, and just maybe along the way not only learn something myself, but try to practice it better myself. I can even sometimes let them teach me what I can possibly do or be, not just imagine it as an ideal that’s out of reach.

I try to let my characters make mistakes I wouldn’t—or in some cases, have in my past, and that’s OK. Especially if I learned from them, but maybe the character does not. Maybe they do but it takes awhile, or repeated instances until it sinks in. Maybe I let them make errors I still make, as a way to puzzle out better solutions I should probably entertain for myself.

Character voice is something I’ve felt I struggled with in keeping my OCs distinct. Do characters ‘sound’ alike, in dialogue and prose? Having distinct ways of speaking helps; C’oretta’s breathless chatty run-ons are certainly different from Dark and Aeryn’s quieter tendencies. I have to remember to trim down Aeryn’s dialogue more often, say less aloud, add more gestures and facial expressions. I tend to be a talker, an over-explainer (if you can’t tell), while the only times she gets like that are specific. Dark’s somewhere in the middle of those two, like I am. A lot of the reason I like writing NPCs and try to keep them close to my interpretation of canon is to practice distinct character voice to get better at it in my OCs, so they don’t sound like me!

And something I’ve never admitted to before is that I think for me, it helps that from the time I was a kid watching various series of Star Trek, I always have had an in-my-own-head-only self-insert. She’s always a support character (that’s what I’m best at). She has cool and unusual abilities to help the actual heroes, cuz heck it’s my internal fantasy and that’s fun. She has traits I want to be better at or wish I had, developed over time with more energy and focus than I can actually muster in reality. As time’s gone on, she’s become more of a mentor and Mom Friend as I’m now older and see a lot of protagonist characters as “my kids” now. She appears in nearly every story I’ve loved over time, in one iteration or another. And because I have a headspace character where I can say “this is what I, ideally, would say and do and be capable of in this situation…” My other characters that I actually write about can vary between doing something similar (if it suits them) to doing something completely different (cuz darn kids never listen) as I can compare them to the self-insert and decide where to diverge.

So it’s a mix of myself and my traits and knowledge, but taking into account how each character would respond and use those same attributes differently than I do or would. Write what you know, write who you are—and then add in some wish fulfillment, some what ifs, some bad choices, some good choices, and shake things up. Give the characters tics and tricks different from yourself and let that shape them, too, by remembering to take those things into account (even if you have to tape a note to your monitor).

And finally, don’t be ashamed of your self-inserts; I’ve known some great characters that started as self-inserts and grew, through their experiences, into wholly different people than their writers over time. Heck, the epic romance my original WoW priest was part of was with a character that started as a self-insert; his player began the game knowing nothing of the lore or roleplaying, but as he learned the story and how to RP, and determined how his character fit into the world and how that shaped him, the character diverged over time, while still sharing some key traits (some endearing, some frustrating, as people are and all part of that friend). It’s not a bad starting point at all. The rest can come over time and practice, especially if you make a lot of OCs and try to make them different from each other while also being aspects of yourself.

[dangermousie]

GUUUUUUH!!!!

A Human Reaction is one of my all time fave episodes and not just because of this, but this helps! I love this scene so much. John is so tense, so bitter with the way his dream is a nightmare. And he snaps at Aeryn but then apologizes. And they are drinking beer and sitting side to side, their shoulders touching and then...OMG...OMG. I love the way he leans his face on her shoulder, the way he leans in to kiss her and he is so heart-breakingly gentle and tentative and weary. As if she is fragile, as if he is too. As if he is resting on her, through her. That scene kills me (and the future mirror of it in both LGM1 and The Choice, kills me all over again). I love Farscape for going there, for not stringing it out just for the heck of it. It makes so much sense. They are best friends at this point even if she won't acknowledge it. And they are crazy attracted and that is such a logical extension of The Flax: they might die and be captured tomorrow. I also adore the morning after where John is 'the girl' and wants to talk and Aeryn doesn't. That whole ep is beautiful on JA front. I love when he asks her to go with him to Earth at the beginning and she won't though you can tell how much she knows she will miss him and she feels it already.

Made me think of BT and how she flew with him even though she knew there was a good chance she'll be stuck on Earth forever. And he is hesitant to go but does and we know later he will not ever leave Aeryn.

And then we have The Ancients. And Crichton gets fucked with again. His imagination can be quite grim, can't it? I wonder how influenced it is by the tough stuff he saw in UT. Crichton of e.g. I, E.T. would he be as paranoid? And the wormholes, though he doesn't know it yet. They see it as  little gift to him but of course it will screw him up forever, won't it? I wonder how much his reaction to real Earth in TF is not just because of his PTSD but also because of it being tainted by the horror fake-Earths of AHR and WGFA? And I love his outraged decency at how his friends are treated. He mentions he gave his word and that never changes, ever. When he gives his word, he keeps it.

Let's see. Other things. I love how he figures it out. He is gooood. I love that we see him lose it, first with Wilson and then with the made-up world. Gosh, he is good at crazed. And his helplessness and his horror and his outrage? We see him pistol-whip Cobb and that is the first time we see him hurt someone who isn't actively trying to hurt him physically at the moment. And you can feel he is so tempted to shoot him. He is sliding, sliding, sliding. They are lucky they got s1 Crichton. S4 would have just shot them all. And I love Jack, even though he is fake Jack. This is Jack through the eyes of John and I love that through it all, despite the issues, John has faith in his father, as this person that will have his back, will try to save him. He loves his father. And his horror when he thinks Jack doesn't believe he is his son, when he has to prove it...is heart-breaking.

[dangermousie]

1x15 aka Durka Returns is one of my fave s1 eps and not just because of Chiana, my fave character except for J&A.

I love the scene near the end with John throwing that bomb to blow Durka out of the ship and saying he doesn't care if Nebari pick Durka up or not. He is not yet at active murder level but his lack of care is in keeping with his greying, his getting darker. As he said in the previous ep, he's been hunted, shot, shanghaied, and had aliens in his body and mind (and oh boy, it's about to get spectacularly worse) and it's having an inevitable effect on him. He is getting harder, edgier. Witness his threatening Rygel, being fed up, and threatening to throw him off Moya. Or his exhausted, joyless laughter and telling Durka to get in line, when Durka tells him he will find him and kill him. Or the very beginning of the ep. Crichton is now prepared to automatically 'get the troops' to meet the strange ship. He is all for Aeryn toting the gun and everybody coming with the firepower. And he doesn't want the ship on board in the first place. How far he's come from the naive, wide-eyed innocent of Premiere, and how far he still has to travel. But he is still full of gentleness inside. I love his reaction to Chiana throughout. He is not taken in or foolish (he is guarded) but he cannot help but feel for her. I love his reaction to Chiana, it's a passionate compassion. Because of his nature, only heightened by his experience in the UT, he cannot bear to see her caged. Chiana always has had a good people sense. She hones in on Crichton for a reason: she can tell he is the most sympathetic audience she has. They establish a connection right away. It's not romantic but it's enveloping. The thing that strikes me the most about Crichton in scenes like this is how good he is at paying attention to one, how he concentrates. And how he cannot stand to see someone weak mistreated. It continues throughout no matter how dark and messed up he gets and how much he hates the person mistreated (his reaction to Scorpius on a leash in WWL is an almost physical revulsion) and that is a consistent factor throughout. Crichton is so protective in general. It's an odd thing to keep reiterating about the male lead of a scifi show, but he is just caring and protective and compassionate and gentle (without being macho or sexist or anything). I love the scene where he feeds Chiana. Somehow he automatically thought she'd be hungry, and the intimacy of the interaction is like WHOA. And when she freaks out about going back to Nebari Prime and being cleansed, and like a caged animal starts hurling herself against bars, he instinctively rushes in, and just soothes her and tries to calm her and hold her.  

Chiana knows that Crichton is someone who isn't capable of hurting her, with whom she feels utterly safe and also free from any potential sex complication or attraction (she never really is attracted to him.) Crichton really wants nothing from her, nothing she is conventionally used to giving. In a way, she has found another Nerri (Crichton even has Nerri's passion against injustice, but he won't leave her). And here is where this all starts. Chiana-Crichton little sister-big brother relationship is one of my very favorite on the show. It's tender and playful and sometimes frustrating to both parties. Like a real sibling relationship. I just love that Farscape allows its characters to have hugely significant, well-explored personal relationships between genders that aren't romantic in nature. I think it says volumes about Crichton that he can see Chiane needs rescue, even though she is clearly not a damsel in distress. And that he both knows she will try to clock him with that oar, and yet know she is scared and alone and her tough act is largely a front, a result of desperation. And yet he is nobody's fool and he can be tough with her and present her with choices she has to make. And I love both the fact that he still cares whether she killed Salis or not, and yet not enough to kick her off if she did. He can understand this lashing out. He went crazy with Crais in TOBM after all. Chiana has been tortured, and even if she killed Salis (I love how we never find out in the entire show run), is it any different than D'Argo's instinctive reaction to Macton, or Rygel's to Durka or Crichton or Stark's to Scorpius? Confronted with one's torturer, moralities shift. And speaking of Nebari. They freak me the hell out. Whoever killed Salis, did a good job. The sickening enjoyment, the conformity, the callousness to feeling? Ugh. I also loved the Rygel-Durka confrontation scene. I dare anyone to remember Rygel is a puppet. He isn't, not to me. And poor Aeryn, yet another PK illusion shattered. Her ties are being severed one by one. As to Chiana? I adore her. She is my favorite non-J/A character. Watching her here for the first time I am struck by her youth. Her lack of trust (understandable, and gradually it will change) is both understandable and heart-breaking. She is a street girl and had to live tough but there is an underlying innocence to her that hasn't been washed away, and a vulnerability, and a longing to belong. I think John subconsciously picks up on these, as they resonate with what he feels as well, quite strongly. She is prickly all over, with her 'I need no one, care for no one' attitude merely a protective shell. And Crichton is nothing if not someone who wants to take care of people. I am also amused, in light of future Chiana/D'Argo, that D'Argo's first words about her (when she's escaped) is that they should shoot her on sight. Glad you didn't do it, huh, big guy? Anyway, why so good, show?

[autumnslance]

For backstory asks; 5, 14 and 15 for any girls, but then 11 for Punchy

Well this got long. Oops! Below the cut for the various answers!

5. What sort of religion was practiced in their home? Did religion play a role in their upbringing? 

Dark’s family worships the Twelve, with some emphasis on Nophica. Because they’re Gridanian, it’s also blended with the appeasement of the Elementals. There were rites and restrictions to be observed, as to do otherwise had very real consequences. Dark carries those observances and respect and rites with her wherever she goes, just in case. She keeps a small token on her person, a gift from her mother, with Nophica’s symbol on one side, and Azeyma’s on the other, as Dark was born during Her month. Dark will sometimes hold the token, playing with it a bit, when thinking over large, difficult decisions. It’s comforting.

Aeryn spent the first five years of her life immersed in devout Halonic Orthodox worship; that ended when her father died and her mother took her children back to her homeland. Mother’s people were less public/pushy about their personal faith, just practicing it casually if they did at all. Aeryn grew up more or less agnostic from that point, with only vague reminders of Halonic catechism--and when she returned to Eorzea as an adult, was actively repelled by its strictures, after the more live-and-let-live style of her maternal people. After everything she’s been through, she now privately identifies as atheist, but has yet to share that with anyone aside from her stepsister in letters.

C’oretta’s family paid the usual lipservice to Nal’dthal for Ul’dah, but it wasn’t a major part of their lives. C’oretta does hold quite a few superstitions, though, basic religious knowledge one absorbs and normalizes culturally--and that her parents used to keep an unruly little girl in line. Witnessing some of the terror in Ul’dah during the Calamity, and losing her father then, left her terrified of death, and stories of Thal’s gilded halls have no comfort for her anymore.

Iyna grew up in a province of Garlemald. Religion was not allowed, and her time in re-education crushed any ideas of it from the youth living there.

14. Did they live near extended family in the past? How did this shape their environment? Are any of their relatives near their age? What are their feelings towards extended family in general?

Dark has not only a large immediate family, but a decent-sized extended family, and clumps of siblings and cousins in all age groups. Always someone around, always some support, often conflicts and having to resolve them for familial peace. She’s probably the best adjusted of my group, and despite seeing some terrible things, has fewer trauma reactions in large part because of that network of support and care she can fall back on and get what she needs. However, there wasn’t a lot of individual attention at all times, and Dark is a quiet introvert in a family of extroverts, so there were some feelings of not being listened to or seen entirely, or feeling a bit “outside looking in.” She knows her family loves her, and she loves them, but they don’t always understand her, either. She likes having her little house in the Twelveswood as a place of her own that she can go to as needed--but also likes having the company hall in Thanalan, or the Adventurer Guild spaces around the realm, when she does need people, even if just to observe quietly and soak in the ambience. She herself doesn’t plan for a large family; if it happens (no rush or current drive), a small one would be nice and manageable.

Aeryn is unaware of any extended family surviving in Coerthas; her father’s family didn’t care for him marrying a foreign woman and cut him off, and between the war and the Calamity, it doesn’t seem any have survived, from what scant records Taratu managed to find (with many caveats). Among her mother’s people there was an extensive network, but Aeryn, her mother, and brother were held at a bit of arm’s length by many, the relationships kept casual and out of obligation. Her stepfather’s extended family did absolutely nothing to welcome the Striker children; they weren’t cruel, but weren’t welcoming either, mostly politely overlooking their existence. It only made Aeryn and Zaine closer, and her more lonely once he was gone. She decided familial relations were no better or worse than any other, and feels the Scions to be more a family than many of those extended relatives.

C’oretta’s unaware of any extended family, though figures she must have some random partial blood relations among the C from her mother’s generation, and her father had the Coliesum moniker “Khell the Clanless” for a reason. C’oretta is indifferent to large family groups, and liked having all her parents’ attention as a child. Did make things tough in many ways, but easier in others, when she suddenly found herself taking care of her mother after Khell’s death.

Iyna is unaware of any family, immediate or extended, due to being taken from her home and put in re-education at a young age.

15. Would they rather go back and relive their childhood? Why or why not?

No for all of them. Good or bad, there’s no real point in going back to that period. Elements of it were often good (except in Iyna’s case, where it was mostly bad and she barely remembers what came before Garlemald) but they’re all pretty good with being independent adults.

Well, C’oretta might wish it a little bit now and then, cuz she misses her dad and how her mother used to be and everything seemed to perfect then. She knows better, but once in awhile it’s just a little twinge, y’know?

PUNCHY: 11. What occupation did your character want to have growing up? Is this the same as what they wish to be, or are in, now?

C’oretta honestly had no idea what she wanted to do when she grew up. She had a new idea every week and dabbled in a bunch of different things, none of which held her attention. The only things that seemed to last beyond a fleeting whim were dancing, pretend fighting with her dad, chocobos, and gem craft. Even then, it was all just hobbies she came back to when other things left her attention span.

It was mostly assumed she would follow in her mother’s footsteps and go into dance--not some street performer in scanty clothes dancing for coins from passing adventurers, but a professional of the stage, performing in grand shows for the nobility and wealthy elite. It seemed like an OK idea, she supposed.

Then the Calamity happened. In the panic and confusion, she watched her father fall among the panicked crowds. By the time the young Sultana and her seven (Pipin, Papashan, and the Thaumaturge Brothers) calmed the rioting and began organizing aid through the city, Khell was dead. Hamon came to check on his family, and C’oretta asked when she could join the Pugilist Guild formally.

Hamon initially brushed her off; she was a young teen at the time and going through hell, but in a few more years she joined, and trained hard. She didn’t go to the Coliseum however, but became an adventurer, and one of the new Fists of Rhalgr.

Most recently, C’oretta met Troupe Falsiam and took up training in the Kriegstanz, finding the blending of combat and dance to suit her upbringing and training well. She likes the freedom adventuring allows her even as she spits in Thal’s eye every chance she gets.