#the thing about 'no balance' is more or less true
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
Yeah, this is pretty accurate. I'm not missing an eye/blind in an eye, but I have Amblyopia which means that my brain kinda just... doesn't register one of my eyes correctly, so I get a similar effect. (Basically my right eye is normal but my left eye is processed as peripheral vision, so the center of my vision is my right eye.)
The neck cramps and crick are definitely bad, and I find myself tilting my head the most when I'm reading or doing something involving a screen. As a result, my neck is way more flexible when tilting to one side than the other.
And the wall thing and running into doorframes is super accurate too. Another thing I do is I prefer to sit on the right side of cars, chapels, auditoriums, ect, which is my good side. I'm also more likely to sit against a wall if its on my right and way less likely if its on my left.
And speaking as someone with both eyes and limited vision in one of them, I tend to cover/close my bad eye if I'm struggling to see something or need to focus to see something. Squinting does nothing if both my eyes are open, my bad eye has to be closed.
Oh! And fun fact! When I get lightheaded to the point of losing my balance, I ALWAYS stumble and fall to my left (bad side). In general, when I lose my balance I rarely fall to my good side.
And last, one thing that irks me about glasses-wearing people (not counting reading glasses) in media is that when they lose their glasses they always have terrible and/or blurry sight, which isn't true. I wear glasses for a neurological eye condition, so instead of getting blurry sight, I get headaches. Not all people wear glasses because their sight is blurry without them, and even if it is, they'll probably still know how many fingers you're holding up.
writing advice for characters with a missing eye: dear God does losing an eyes function fuck up your neck. Ever since mine crapped out I've been slowly and unconsciously shifting towards holding my head at an angle to put the good eye closer to the center. and human necks. are not meant to accommodate that sorta thing.
47K notes
·
View notes
Note
Heyy, do you think the Weasley twins would cheat on their s.os? Just curious what your take on that is:)
Hi anon! Please accept this essay about my thoughts on the matter, because apparently I have many 😂🖤
George would never.
Fred… maybe… but it would be a very specific situation like a prank gone wrong/ Polyjuice potion fail/ case of mistaken identity. Like he’d get carried away with talking about his inventions and wouldn’t notice the girl getting a bit too familiar until her lips are chasing his. He just thought she really liked what he was creating.
I think it all boils down to how you perceive them. I’ve read a few fics of ladiesman!Fred and though I could potentially see it in an AU, I never personally view him that way.
I tend to always write George as the shyer, more sensitive twin and i think that he is naturally a lot less confident than Fred, at least underneath. He uses humour as a deflective shield and falls into his role of prankster wholeheartedly because it hides his true nature that underneath the surface he’s a little bit insecure. He’s the second twin, always the other one, the other half of something bigger than him and quite often follows Fred blindly, having to explain and rationalise his slightly older brother’s ideas and words. SO, when George gets a girls attention, and it’s only him and not Fred, he’d be a bit of a mess and would probably plan what suit he’s going to wear to his wedding by the second date. I can’t see George ever cheating, it’s just not in his nature.
For some reason, I feel like George wouldn’t find love in his school years but would find someone absolutely perfect for him at the shop, like a meet-cute within their universe and the person would fit right into George’s life.
Fred however, he’s the more outgoing, more confident twin who seems completely unashamed and proud of who he is, both as a twin and in himself. I personally don’t write him as a fuckboy but he’d be quite a good fit if I did under certain contexts. I tend to write Fred as finding ‘the one’ young, probably in their school days and being certain right away that she’s the one. He’s a fiery guy, often quick to anger and doesn’t think of consequences of his actions so he’d need someone that balances him out, reminds him of what’s important and someone that he actually listens to when he needs to pull back a little.
Like he would get the attention of other girls but he’s completely blind to it because he only has eyes for his girl.
I always see him as being friends with the person before, a typical friends to lovers trope with a big event or a big realisation that it’s been her all along.
My own personal HC is that his love story would follow Arthur and Molly’s up to a certain point (being young, finding love, getting married early). I think it would be one of those ironic life twists that always seem to come full circle as he’s often quite anti-authority and against conformity, particularly when it comes to Molly’s expectations for him and George. So to see his life mirror his parents as hard as he’d tried to deny it would be ironically beautiful.
So I think with that in mind, I really couldn’t see cheating being an option. George likes having an easy life and if the relationship wasn’t right or he knew he couldn’t give it his all then he’d find a kind way of ending things, not cheating in any degree even if the relationship was rocky. If the relationship was happy, he wouldn’t even dream of it. The grass is never greener to George Weasley.
Fred wouldn’t dream of it because he knows he can’t do better than his long suffering girl. There’s too much history, too many inside jokes and his parents have practically adopted her into the family anyway so if he ever stepped a toe out of line, his mother would probably kill him. The length of his relationship is a mark of pride for Fred; being secretly sentimental he’d love to be able to say proudly how long he’d been with his girl to anyone that asks, knowing that even from a young age after so long together that you’d been together longer than you’d ever been apart in your entire lives.
The Weasley men just love their SOs okay?
Any one else have opinions on this?!
#emeritusemeritus#emeritusemerituswrites#harry potter#fred weasley#George Weasley#Weasley twins#anon#anon answered
20 notes
·
View notes
Text
vent post
#and before anyone who hates my shit says “yeah because you ARE a loser way to have self awareness for once”#i promise you this would be me with or without the LO fandom LMAO#anxiety is a hell of a thing#and as much as i internally guilt myself into thinking it would be better if i just shut up and hid away forever#i also know that's the trauma speaking because the adults around me always told me to shut up#and even as an adult i still encounter people who talk over me and make me feel like i'm not allowed to be outspoken#but the pen is mightier than the sword and all those years i've spent being spoken over i've been honing my penmanship#i have fun talking about the things i talk about and i don't have any less right than anyone else to do it#i am cringe and i am free#self post#vent post#altho on another note i do wanna make time this week to go find new series to read#too many of my favorites have turned to shit and it's taken its toll#i KNOW there are better comics out there that are genuinely well made#i already have a few that i'm reading that i love but i need to balance out the good with the bad more lol#i just need to take the time to go find good stuff instead of pouring so much of my attention into the bullshit that doesn't deserve my tim#i think both things can be true#i can have a lot of fun dissecting and writing about series i don't like#while also nourishing myself with good works that restore my faith in this medium#“perfectly balanced as all things should be”
278 notes
·
View notes
Text
haaate how my two favourite ships (surgamy + espilver) typically involve the less popular character losing their edge and acting really out of character (but in an in character way?) because when i go through periods of not drawing/writing/whatever much when it comes to surge or espio as standalone characters (or at least outside the context of shipping) i get scared im gonna forget who they are and that theyre actually so cool
#sonic#surgamy#espilver#surge the tenrec#espio the chameleon#tag rant warning#also: i only started truly liking espio after i got into espilver#(i mean i thought he was funny and had awkward swag in mosth but that was it)#wheras i was always a fan of surge and only started to like surgamy a few months afterwards#(i only started reading idw whenever 60 was the latest issue#so its not like im some surgamy og who started shipping them when we knew barely anything about surge)#anyway rant aside#i saw someone complain about surgamy filling the surge tag and while i took it a bit too personally (i didnt interact i just moved on)#at the same time i have to agree#its less of a problem with espilver seeing as espio has been an established character much longer than silver#even if silver's more popular#so it balances out#but surge is only a few years old and exclusive to idw a while amy is 25+. one of the mainstream sonic characters and is in most canons#not to mention despite the unneccessary discourse she is beloved by most#and id say most amy ships are about equally popular (other than sonamy but its probably less popular in recent years)#meanwhile surgamy is like THE surge ship#the only thing i think that comes close is whispurge and it doesnt really#ANYWAY#because of this surge is kind of in amys shadow and just. yeah. im too tired for this.#anyway surge is aroace realistically and i dont want her to reciprocate if amy gets a crush on her#(thats not true)#(if they ever got together i would probably either go into a state of euphoria or mania depending on how mentally stable i am at the time)
11 notes
·
View notes
Text
I dunno.
I absolutely do think we need to make leftist spaces more friendly towards cishet men in general. It can be tough, in a lot of circles, to not become hostile towards people I generally agree with, because they always make me the boogie man.
For people less reflected, I can absolutely see that pushing people away. It's pushed me away from several spaces, and there are still spaces I frequent where I often feel excluded and uncomfortable.
There are absolute problems, and they need to be addressed, but the angle can't just be "some white cishet men are fascists, therefore saying 'kill all men' is okay" which is what happens a lot in some spaces.
But it also can't be "Not all men are bad, so let's do nothing".
We need to approach things with a mindset of "how can we stop and work against the social changes we see happening?"
And some of that boils down to giving people what they find in dangerous rhetorics and systems, without them. Community, a sense of belonging, a sense of safety, and understanding.
I am not saying that individuals need to, when face to face with a fascist, be nice to them.
But I am saying that, if, at the first sign of fascist rhetoric in someone, everyone shuns them, it could be that the result of that is that they'll quickly become more like those that still talk to them: Fascists.
And that holds doubly true when they didn't show those things in the first place.
Ofc it is a balancing act. Its tough, and its never on the individuals on the left to fight the institutions on the right.
But we can't just deal with it with hostility.
Also, it's clearly not just a "white men" problem.
45% of women voted for Trump.
That is less than half, and less than the percentage of men that voted for him.
But 45% is still a lot. A huge amount.
If it had been 0%, like some people online seem to pretend, he would never have won.
We need to hold those woman just as accountable as we hold the men. We need conversations to be balanced, and better than that of our opponents.
Leftism is a humanitarian project, and to work for that, we need to include all of humanity. We're trying to make a better world for everyone here, not inflict vengeance upon the sons for the sins of the fathers. At least that is my approach and goal.
Being nicer to men in a leftist, online setting, IS important. We can't afford to, and should not want to, alienate half the population.
But being nicer to men does not mean "be nice to the specific men that have done you personally wrong" it means "Be nice to the men that haven't done you wrong, do not allow yourself to assume they will hurt you if given a chance" (though ofc, everyone, men, women and otherwise, should take appropriate precautions to keep themselves safe, when meeting men, women, and otherwise. Going on first dates in a public area, while having a friend that has promised to check in on you at 10pm, is not not being nice. It's just being safe, and that is always allowed).
It doesn't mean to not say "My ex was a pig". It does mean to not say "all men are pigs, just look at my ex".
We have to hold ourselves to high standards. Not just because that is the path to victory, though it is, but more importantly, because it's the path to a victory that means anything.
If we do not hold ourselves to high standards, what does a victory mean? If we just replace one harmful society with another, what was won?
Being mindful of language and word choice does not just mean using 'they' when we don't know someone's pronouns. It also means using 'that man' instead of 'men' when talking about a pig.
I get it can be frustrating to cater to the people that make your life hell. But you're not catering to them. You're catering to the rest of them. The men that already hate women, that are already fascists, that are already the enemy, do not care that you do not like them. If anything, they wear it like a badge of honour.
But the others, the ones that want to, strongly, or just barely, to be your ally, or for really, anyone but the worst, to let them know that there is a place for them where they can get love and respect(as human beings), without having to hate and disrespect others.
It's a bit like that comic on body-shaming I can't find right now. Where the person you're trying to be mean to doesn't care, but the people who happen to share that feature get sad.
(but yes, of course, its not like being nice to men will solve everything, there's other work to do too, but we can't ignore it just because its not a magical solve it all)
I get the good intentions behind it, but something feels off about responding to the observation that white cishet men are becoming radicalized towards racism and misogyny with "maybe you should have been nicer to the men"
489 notes
·
View notes
Text
Yet again overjoyed at how normal Orion seems compared to Tristan. Like yes this is a well adjusted man who was raised in a friendly and loving home and makes rational and good decisions. Haha why do u ask. Haha. (: don't look in the closet haha. (:
#🌌oc tag: orion🌌#And the thing is ITS ALL TRUE#HE SHOULD HAVE BEEN WELL ADJUSTED AND OKAY#BUT NOOO#My boy <3#He's so extroverted and happy and sweet and friendly and normal and well adjusted and. Wait is that a knife he had WHY DOES HE HAVE A#<- plot of star#(I'm simplifying it a lot)#Tristan also has a knife tho. He's just more stabby and less existential about his#Seriously tho he's such a nice normal dude who freezes up completely the moment he sees a corpse of suicide which he should have seen#Hundreds of times before like ofc he's seen them it's the apocalypse#And he's so extroverted and friendly and if you ask him about his past or if he accidentally mentions [redacted] he skips like a broken#Record and ignores that he said anything about anything#He's so normal at the beginning and I just love making him spiral out of his mind as being with Tristan forces him to confront some shit#Like yeah Tristan is fucked up and he's been through fucked up shit and he makes thst pretty clear. No bullshit with him#And Orion is just layers and layers of this precariously balanced lie he's built himself about who he is and what he's seen and his future#So while tristan's breakdowns are predictable and painful they just feel tragic and inevitable#Orion comes crashing down like the fucking twin towers#There are signs!! But my boy goes from like. 3 to 100 VERY fast#Anyways I love him
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
undergoing a major life change that is kind of the opposite of the major life change i initiated three years ago in that i am the one being left this time (for the first time! i am always the one leaving)(they followed then but the winter and my mother are both untenable things) and i'm facilitating that by quite literally retracing my steps (driving back down the alcan) and then coming right back (alone) and it's apparently been so difficult for me to emotionally comprehend this journey that i decided to get sick about it at (almost) the worst possible time
#so prayer circle i'm well enough for a 7 day road trip by wednesday#i tested on tues and it's Supposedly not covid but i'm not sure i trust that particular test#i am so distraught and i have been so distraught over this since literally last summer when i pulled every muscle in my body#doing something stupid in a frantic effort to avoid perceived abandonment#parting ways when emotionally speaking it's the best it's ever been is so many knives. sooooo many knives#but that's how i roll ig i'm sure when i leave fbx myself i'll be in just as much agony bc it'll only be after i've achieved true comfort#and contentment#the best part about me crying every other hour about this is we literallllyyyyyyy have concert plans 7 weeks after we part#but idk it's less being physically separated and more the Unknown and ALSO having to be alone* again after two bonus years#bonus years that feel like they may or may not have been pausing some kinda growth outside the relationship for both parties#but on like a cosmic scale i feel like this needed to happen#things are more balanced now and i think this time has been good groundwork for the future#whatever that brings#*alone with my family who mostly does not like me and i could make a whole separate post about why that is both Worse and Necessary#but i'm stopping it here bc this post is already calling for the revival of an ancient tag#sips whine thoughtfully
0 notes
Text
The first thing to say about the hate and scorn currently directed at the mainstream US media is that they worked hard to earn it. They’ve done so by failing, repeatedly, determinedly, spectacularly to do their job, which is to maintain their independence, inform the electorate, and speak truth to power. While the left has long had reasons to dismiss centrist media, and the right has loathed it most when it did do its job well, the moderates who are furious at it now seem to be something new – and a host of former editors, media experts and independent journalists have been going after them hard this summer.
Longtime journalist James Fallows declares that three institutions – the Republican party, the supreme court, and the mainstream political press – “have catastrophically failed to ‘meet the moment’ under pressure of [the] Trump era”. Centrist political reformer and columnist Norm Ornstein states that these news institutions “have had no reflection, no willingness to think through how irresponsible and reckless so much of our mainstream press and so many of our journalists have been and continue to be”.
Most voters, he says, “have no clue what a second Trump term would actually be like. Instead, we get the same insipid focus on the horse race and the polls, while normalizing abnormal behavior and treating this like a typical presidential election, not one that is an existential threat to democracy.”
Lamenting the state of the media recently on X, Jeff Jarvis, another former editor and newspaper columnist, said: “What ‘press’? The broken and vindictive Times? The newly Murdochian Post? Hedge-fund newspaper husks? Rudderless CNN or NPR? Murdoch’s fascist media?”
These critics are responding to how the behemoths of the industry seem intent on bending the facts to fit their frameworks and agendas. In pursuit of clickbait content centered on conflicts and personalities, they follow each other into informational stampedes and confirmation bubbles.
They pursue the appearance of fairness and balance by treating the true and the false, the normal and the outrageous, as equally valid and by normalizing Republicans, especially Donald Trump, whose gibberish gets translated into English and whose past crimes and present-day lies and threats get glossed over. They neglect, again and again, important stories with real consequences. This is not entirely new – in a scathing analysis of 2016 election coverage, the Columbia Journalism Review noted that “in just six days, The New York Times ran as many cover stories about Hillary Clinton’s emails as they did about all policy issues combined in the 69 days leading up to the election” – but it’s gotten worse, and a lot of insiders have gotten sick of it.
In July, ordinary people on social media decided to share information about the rightwing Project 2025 and did a superb job of raising public awareness about it, while the press obsessed about Joe Biden’s age and health. NBC did report on this grassroots education effort, but did so using the “both sides are equally valid” framework often deployed by mainstream media, saying the agenda is “championed by some creators as a guide to less government oversight and slammed by others as a road map to an authoritarian takeover of America”. There is no valid case it brings less government oversight.
In an even more outrageous case, the New York Times ran a story comparing the Democratic and Republican plans to increase the housing supply – which treated Trump’s plans for mass deportation of undocumented immigrants as just another housing-supply strategy that might work or might not. (That it would create massive human rights violations and likely lead to huge civil disturbances was one overlooked factor, though the fact that some of these immigrants are key to the building trades was mentioned.)
Other stories of pressing concern are either picked up and dropped or just neglected overall, as with Trump’s threats to dismantle a huge portion of the climate legislation that is both the Biden administration’s signal achievement and crucial for the fate of the planet. The Washington Post editorial board did offer this risibly feeble critique on 17 August: “It would no doubt be better for the climate if the US president acknowledged the reality of global warming – rather than calling it a scam, as Mr Trump has.”
While the press blamed Biden for failing to communicate his achievements, which is part of his job, it’s their whole job to do so. The Climate Jobs National Resource Center reports that the Inflation Reduction Act has created “a combined potential of over $2tn in investment, 1,091,966 megawatts of clean power, and approximately 3,947,670 jobs”, but few Americans have any sense of what the bill has achieved or even that the economy is by many measures strong.
Last winter, the New York Times columnist Paul Krugman, who has a Nobel prize in economics, told Greg Sargent on the latter’s Daily Blast podcast that when he writes positive pieces about the Biden economy, his editor asks “don’t you want to qualify” it; “aren’t people upset by X, Y and Z and shouldn’t you be acknowledging that?”
Meanwhile in an accusatory piece about Kamala Harris headlined When your opponent calls you ‘communist,’ maybe don’t propose price controls?, a Washington Post columnist declares in another case of bothsiderism: “Voters want to blame someone for high grocery bills, and the presidential candidates have apparently decided the choices are either the Biden administration or corporate greed. Harris has chosen the latter.” The evidence that corporations have jacked up prices and are reaping huge profits is easy to find, but facts don’t matter much in this kind of opining.
It’s hard to gloat over the decline of these dinosaurs of American media, when a free press and a well-informed electorate are both crucial to democracy. The alternatives to the major news outlets simply don’t reach enough readers and listeners, though the non-profit investigative outfit ProPublica and progressive magazines such as the New Republic and Mother Jones, are doing a lot of the best reporting and commentary.
Earlier this year, when Alabama senator Katie Britt gave her loopy rebuttal to Biden’s State of the Union address, it was an independent journalist, Jonathan Katz, who broke the story on TikTok that her claims about a victim of sex trafficking contained significant falsehoods. The big news outlets picked up the scoop from him, making me wonder what their staffs of hundreds were doing that night.
A host of brilliant journalists young and old, have started independent newsletters, covering tech, the state of the media, politics, climate, reproductive rights and virtually everything else, but their reach is too modest to make them a replacement for the big newspapers and networks. The great exception might be historian Heather Cox Richardson, whose newsletter and Facebook followers give her a readership not much smaller than that of the Washington Post. The tremendous success of her sober, historically grounded (and footnoted!) news summaries and reflections bespeaks a hunger for real news.
945 notes
·
View notes
Text
🌷Composite risings🌷
Let’s talk about how each couple presents themselves for each rising sign in their composite chart.
*Disclaimer: These are my opinions, you don’t have to agree with them. And I’m aware not everyone agrees with the degree theory but I’ve personally seen a difference from degrees, so again, just my opinion and interpretation.
🌷Aries Rising (could also apply to Aries degrees 1°, 13° and 25°) - This couple is affectionate with each other. They’re passionate and can be competitive with one another, though if on the same team, they’re a force to be reckoned with. They probably enjoy recreational activities with each other. The couple that goes to the gym together, plays sports together, jump out of a plane together lol. They’re both young at heart with each other, even if they identify as old souls individually. They motivate each other to do better and step out of their comfort zones.
🌷Taurus Rising(could also apply to Taurus degrees 2°, 14° and 26°) - They’re so soft with each other and this relationship is filled with tenderness. They can be possessive of one another too(similar to Leo rising couples). They can tune out the world and just soak each other up. They can also be touchy feely with each other, the degree might also have impact here but if it does it won’t be to a great extent.
🌷Gemini Rising (could also apply to Gemini degrees 3°, 15° and 27°) - This is a couple that never runs out of things to talk about. Their favourite part of the day is getting to talk to one another. They inspire the other person. They could have a lot in common and share the same visions/goals. They can also be in their own bubble sometimes, especially if they get really into a topic or discussion and they tend to tease each other, very playful. This is the couple that can prank one another lol.
🌷Cancer Rising (could also apply to Cancer degrees 4°, 16° and 28°) - They have a soft spot for each other. There’s something about the other person that instantly makes them feel comfortable. They’re ones most likely to share nose nudges and butterfly kisses in public. So much PDA but at the same time they can keep a lot of their relationship private. There’s a good balance, in my opinion. They can be very affected by the other person’s mood too.
🌷Leo Rising (could also apply to Leo degrees 5°, 17° and 29°) - Oh this couple loves to show off. Whether it’s their relationship or the other person. There’s so much of PDA with this couple too, like Cancer Risings, but this PDA is like full on whereas the Cancer Risings can be a bit more tender and sweet. this is like grabbing each others ass in public lmao. It doesn’t make it less meaningful though! Power couple vibes.
🌷Virgo Rising (could also apply to Virgo degrees 6° and 18°) - I’ve seen so much of negativity surrounding this composite rising and could never understand why, because like cancer and Taurus risings, they’re so tender and sweet with each other. They’ll do anything for the other person they’re so supportive of one another. They likely are the couple that took a bit of time to get together but people could always tell there’s chemistry between them. They can be private but they can also be sweet with each other in public, perhaps not as much as Leo, but still can be affectionate nonetheless. I like this Ascendant for couples and platonic relationships. People don’t give this Rising enough credit and tend to say they’re boring and unassuming which I don’t necessarily think is true.
🌷Libra Rising (could also apply to Libra degrees 7° and 19°) - Ah the composite rising that gets the most hype, from what I’ve seen. I can understand why since it is Venusian and Libra rules seventh house of relationships. They are also affectionate with one another and tend to be the “It couple”. Everyone wants a relationship like theirs. Romantic with one another for sure. The only thing is that if this couple breaks up, it can turn ugly as seventh house also rules enemies; their relationship can turn really sour.
🌷Scorpio Rising (could also apply to Scorpio degrees 8° and 20°) - Unexpected couple, maybe. No one saw it coming. Their relationship is passionate and deep, but there can be a taboo aspect to their relationship. It doesn’t have to be that deep, perhaps an age gap thats not drastic. You’ll never know what goes on with this couple because they can be very private. I’ve noticed this couple can be awkward with each other at first for some reason? They can also be clingy once they do get into a relationship and it turns into something long term. As much as I’m not particularly fond of this couple, they really are so opened with one another if they do get past the awkwardness and initial fear.
🌷Sagittarius Rising (could also apply to Sagittarius degrees 9° and 21°) - This is the most similar to Aries Rising in my opinion and Gemini rising as well. They’re the couple that have so many inside jokes and like Gemini Rising, they always tease each other and are playful with each other. They love to go on adventures with one another and they can teach each other a lot, constantly pushing the other person to be the best versions of themselves. This couple could also come from very different backgrounds. I’ve noticed also with this Rising sign, a lot of people don’t expect that these two are together.
🌷Capricorn Rising (could also apply to Capricorn degrees 10° and 22°) - Another rising sign that gets so much of slack (like Virgo risings) and I don’t really agree with a lot of it. They may not be as affectionate as Leo risings or Cancer risings once again, but they’re each other’s rock. They can always rely on one another. This couple could be the “slow burn” type because neither person admits they have a crush on the other until later on. They are extremely private with their relationship though and can be protective of each other. Also can be a power couple though, especially to those who know the couple well.
🌷Aquarius Rising (could also apply to Aquarius degrees 11° and 23°) - ah the friends to lovers ascendant. I haven’t met or seen many Aquarius rising couples, majority of them are platonic. This doesn’t mean romantic relationships never work out though. This couple gives each other a lot of space and freedom to be independent but they love each other unconditionally and fully. There’s no judgement here. You can be fully yourself with the other person. If this does turn romantic, they are still always best friends first.
🌷Pisces Rising (could also apply to Pisces degrees 12° and 24°) - They bring out sides of the other person that they never knew they had. For example if you’re not really big on PDA, the person you share a Pisces rising with will bring out that side of you. There could be some aspect to this relationship that’s unusual too. They can get co-dependant though, I’ve noticed. Like they can’t do anything without the person by their side constantly. Regardless, there’s something about these couples that just seem to fit together.
*Personal favourite for platonic - Aquarius or Sagittarius, even Gemini
*Least favourite for platonic - Aries or Cancer
*Favourite for romantic - Cancer, Virgo or Leo (Gemini and Aries can work well too)
*Least favourite for romantic - Scorpio or Pisces
*Risings that can go either way - Capricorn, Aquarius and Pisces.
#astro notes#astrology#composite chart observations#composite charts#composite chart#Composite ascendants#composite risings
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
Change His Ways | Tommy Shelby x Reader
Request: no
Pairing: Tommy Shelby x Reader
Summary: In which Tommy falls for a woman out of his reach and does whatever it takes to get closer to her.
Warnings: Tommy’s certainly not canon here, language, smoking, religious themes (Tommy goes to church)
Word Count: 4025
A/N: I dusted this WIP off because I was itching to keep writing after I finished my celebration blurbs. The idea has Tommy ooc, but it was one that I just had to write down while reading a book - I’ll share a bit more about it down below for those who are interested (it’s based on a true story). Enjoy! :)
I’D LOVE TO KNOW WHAT YOU THINK - YOUR COMMENTS & REBLOGS HELP ME WRITE!
Comment/Message me if you’d like to be tagged in stories similar to this one!
Tommy's world stopped the second he saw her. She was in Polly's main room, gathering her cleaning supplies as he stepped into the home. He watched from the doorway as she tried, but failed, to take them all into her arms, the bucket and broom falling to the ground. "I'm so sorry, Ms. Gray," she quickly apologized to the woman standing next to the fireplace for the commotion, crouching down to - try and - gather it once more. Polly didn't say anything, only watching on as the younger woman struggled.
"Let me help you, miss," Tommy spoke up, balancing the cigarette he was smoking between his lips before he stepped over to her, leaning down to grab the stick of the broom before she could.
"Oh, thank you, mister," she smiled over at him, her (y/e/c) eyes instantly mesmerizing Tommy. He almost forgot what he was doing.
"Where do these need to go?" he asked after clearing his throat and pulling himself from his thoughts.
"Just outside. My father's picking me up," she responded, smiling over at him gratefully. He felt like she had knocked the wind out of him.
"Alright then," he nodded, standing in time with her and taking a bucket from her full hands so that she'd have less to carry. He then let her lead him out to where an older looking farm-typed truck was waiting. The man sitting in the driver's seat just glared at Tommy, who ignored his presence altogether. "Should be it," he remarked as he sat the broom and bucket into the back of the truck.
"Thank you, really," the woman smiled at him.
"You're welcome," Tommy nodded politely before she got in the truck and he walked back up the path to his aunt's house. Polly was standing in the entryway with her arms crossed when Tommy re-entered the house. "What, Pol?" he questioned, brushing past her into the main room.
"She's a good woman, Thomas," she heeded a warning. A warning that Tommy disregarded completely.
Tommy showed up at Polly's every day for a week until he figured out what times the unnamed, beautiful woman was present at the house. And each time she was, he would help her with the things that she needed to carry out to her father's truck.
He didn't quite get to his destination today because the very person he was looking forward to seeing was walking along the sidewalk about three blocks from his aunt's house. He slowed down his car with his brow furrowed, and bent his head down to look at her. "All ok?" he asked after he watched her take a few more struggled steps. "Your father coming to pick you up?"
"Not today," she shook her head, the tone of her voice showing how much she was struggling to keep everything in her arms. "He's been held up at the farm."
Tommy was out of his car the second he heard her answer. He walked around the side of it with a quickened pace before he took the bigger cleaning supplies from her arms. "I can take you home," he offered, already opening the back door of his car before she gave him an answer to set the supplies he'd taken inside.
"Oh I can't bother you like that," she tried to decline his offer politely, but Tommy didn't want to hear it.
"I insist," he stressed, his eyebrows raised slightly to show his seriousness. He held his eyes on her and saw her weary expression form into a smile. She nodded her head in agreement before he opened the passenger's side door for her to get into the car. Once she was in, he shut the door and walked back around to the driver's side.
"Do you have a name, sir?" she asked him almost immediately after he'd sat in the front seat, "because I feel like I should know the name of the man that has so kindly offered me a ride."
"It's Thomas Shelby," he said, clearing his throat before adding: "you can call me Tommy though."
The woman smiled at him. “It’s nice to meet you, officially, Tommy. Thank you for driving me home," she spoke politely. “My name is (Y/N) (Y/L/N)," she added, her cheeks heating up slightly when she realized that she hadn't formally introduced herself to him.
"It's nice to officially meet you as well, (Y/N)," he couldn't help but smile as he tried her name out for himself, "and there's no need to thank me...the pleasure's all mine here," he concluded his sentence by turning his car back on and pulling away from the sidewalk so that he could take her home.
There was an older man leaning up against the side of a rusted farm truck as Tommy pulled into the driveway that (Y/N) said was hers. He looked rather intimidating standing there, and if Tommy wasn't in the line of work that he was, he definitely would have been put off by him.
"Hi, daddy," (Y/N) smiled as she got out of the car so that she could grab her supplies from the back. She was too slow, however, because Tommy already had it in his hands.
"Where do you want this?" he asked her.
"Just by the shed over there," she answered as she motioned to said shed, "I can place them where they need to go later." Tommy nodded and then walked the short distance so that he could rest the supplies against the wall of the shed. "Thank you, Tommy," she sent him a bright smile once he'd finished.
"You're welcome," he nodded, deciding that being paid in her smiles would be better than any lump sum of money he could ever receive.
"You Thomas Shelby?" (Y/N)'s father then came into the situation, his voice making Tommy's expression go serious as he turned to face the older man.
"I am," he nodded, extending his hand.
"What are your intentions with my daughter?" her father got right to the point, glancing at the hand but not shaking it.
Tommy found himself feeling like a young boy again, and it made him wonder just how interested he was in (Y/N) for him to be feeling like this. "I brought her home. She was struggling with carrying the supplies," he explained himself.
The older man looked Tommy up and down before nodding slightly. "Ok," was all he said before he turned and started to walk over to one of the barns on the property.
"Thank you, Tommy," (Y/N) sent him another smile, pulling him out of the confused stupor that was brought on by the previous conversation. "I hope you make it home safely."
"You're welcome, (Y/N)," he responded, loving how her name sounded coming from his mouth. He then returned her wave before he walked to his car and got into it, backing down the driveway and away from the beautiful woman who was standing and watching him leave.
"I think you're a bloody idiot for coming up with that idea," Polly spoke her mind after Tommy had finished explaining to her where he'd gone a few days ago.
"That's why I'm doing it properly," Tommy tried to work a different angle.
"Properly or not, the (Y/L/N)'s are a God-fearing family, and I can't remember the last time you stepped into a church with the intent of speaking to the Maker," she remarked, quirking an eyebrow in his direction. Tommy sighed in response, shaking his head as he brought the cigarette back up to his mouth. He and Polly then stared at each other for a few moments before the woman sighed and hung her head, "but you'll still give it a try anyway," she stated in defeat, knowing just by his glance alone that her nephew's mind was made up.
Tommy cleared his throat as he stood from the chair in Polly's living room. He grabbed his coat and pulled it over his shoulders so that he was ready to leave the house. Polly tried to call after him, but he wasn't listening to her words as he opened the door and exited the dwelling. After getting in the car and starting its engine, he began driving to (Y/N)'s house with the full intention of winning her father over.
"You cannot court my daughter," (Y/N)'s father spoke firmly from where he sat across from Tommy in the front room.
"She's a very lovely woman, and I will be a gentleman to her," he tried to sway the older man, laying on the Shelby charm in full force, "all I am asking is for a date with her." If only his family could hear him now.
"If you want to see my daughter, you'll see her at church," her father decided, nodding his head once to show his decision was final.
"Mr. (Y/L/N)..."
"Save it, Shelby," the older man cut Tommy off, standing to leave the conversation. Tommy watched him walk, knowing there was nothing more that could be done. He also stood, showing himself out. He looked to the farmhouse after opening the door to his car and saw (Y/N) standing in one of the second floor windows. A sigh escaped his lips. He knew what to do.
Tommy met the (Y/L/N)'s at their church that Sunday. No one bothered to question how he knew where they worshiped, and he was thankful that he didn't need to explain.
They all sat in the same pew, Tommy to the right of (Y/N), of course, while her father sat on her left. He didn't listen much to the sermons, or participate in singing along with the choir.
He did, however, try to get even closer to (Y/N). After a few glances down, he slowly inched his hand closer to her lap. At first he attempted to take hold of her hand. She moved it away the second she felt his fingers brush hers. But she didn't look his way though, still focused on what the preacher was saying. So he let his hand stay there. Instead of holding hers, he flipped his palm down and draped his fingers over the curve of her thigh.
His hand had just started to warm from her body heat when he felt a sharp, but silent, smack land on the back of it. It made him remove his hand and quickly look her way. She was still looking straight ahead. Tommy kept his eyes on her, his brows furrowed. He was sure that he hadn't imagined that; she'd just smacked him.
The feeling of his eyes on her made (Y/N) glance to her right. She knew he wouldn't look away until he addressed her. But her father would instantly know that her attention had been taken off of the message being told. Ever-so-slowly, she leaned closer to Tommy, getting close enough so that he could hear her whisper. "There should be no touching in the Lord's house. It's considered blasphemy."
Tommy couldn't respond because she sat straight again the second she finished speaking. He took one last look at her before looking straight again, his hand resting on his thigh once again.
Tommy continued going to church with (Y/N) and her family every Sunday, and eventually they got into a routine of him walking her back home.
Every Sunday, they'd stop at the beginning of her dirt driveway, and she'd thank him with a kiss on his cheek. They'd then say their goodbyes and she'd begin walking to her house. Tommy would stay and watch, waiting until she was on her porch before he left.
This Sunday was different. (Y/N) was unusually quiet on the way home. The walk that was normally filled with her sweet laughter and entertaining stories was now overruled by silence.
They stopped at the end of her driveway, and (Y/N) turned so that she could face him. Tommy's eyes were immediately on her, and he noticed that she was looking at the ground. "I won't be in church next Sunday," she finally spoke, playing with her fingers in hopes it'd give her something to focus on. She glanced up at him through her eyelashes then, seeing that he was looking out at the fields for a moment. Thinking now'd be the best time to say goodbye, she lifted her head and leaned in to press her lips to his cheek.
Tommy turned to talk to her at that same moment, and he was met with the most rewarding accident he'd ever been given in his life when his lips met hers. The kiss was soft, quick, and innocent. Too quick for his liking.
(Y/N) pulled back with a gasp the second she realized what was happening. She looked at him then, her eyes now opened wide; looking as if she'd just seen a ghost, or a horrible crime be committed. I've fucked this up, Tommy thought to himself, the breath caught in his throat. The worst part about it was that he didn't quite know what to say that could make the situation better.
So he just stared at (Y/N), watching as her eyes searched his for what seemed like eternity. Then, after what felt like forever, (Y/N) leaned in and pressed her lips to his again. She kissed him more soundly this time, and he took hold of her waist to make sure that she wouldn't leave him too soon. When she eventually moved to pull back, he let her, keeping his eyes closed when she stayed close and rested her forehead against his.
"Why?" he asked once their breathing had returned to normal.
"Huh?" she was clearly confused by his sudden question, and she finally pulled back to look at him once more, her eyebrows furrowed.
"Why won't you be there, love?" he asked with a soft laugh, squeezing her waist softly as he remembered that he was still holding onto her.
Realization struck her and her confusion melted into a sheepish smile, remembering what they were talking about before the kiss happened. "My family and I are traveling to see my grandparents. We'll go to the service at their church since we'll be staying through the weekend," she explained the reason behind her initial statement.
"Should I find you there?" he asked her then, wondering if he could still make things work. He'd been seeing her every Sunday for a month and a half now, and he'd be lying if he said that he didn't look forward to it every week.
"There's no need for that, Tommy," she giggled, her stomach filling with butterflies at the sweetness of his voice. "I'll be home before you know it."
"Then I'll be waiting," he nodded, showing his sincerity as he squeezed her waist once more, his actions making her smile. His eyes flitted down to her lips then, their closeness and inviting nature becoming paramount in his mind again. "Can I?" he asked permission before doing anything, something he never could have imagined himself doing weeks ago.
"Please do," she smiled at him, her hands finding his collar as he leaned in and pressed his lips to hers once more.
"Fuck," Tommy huffed, pressing his fingers to his eyes in frustration.
"So what do we do, Tom?" Arthur asked his brother, clasping his peaked cap in his hands. "He's there. He's for the taking. We could just..."
"No," Tommy cut him off abruptly, leaning forward so that he could rest his elbows on the desk and put his head in his hands, "no, there'll be problems if we do that."
"Then what?" John chimed in, a bit of an incredulous look present on his face. "We know he did it. He shouldn't get to even think he got away with it."
"We do it another way," Tommy insisted.
"What way?" Arthur asked.
"I don't know yet," Tommy huffed, finally looking at his brothers before he continued, "but you fuckers better not try anything." He accented his direction by pointing at each of the two men as he spoke, his eyes wide to convey his seriousness.
Silence fell in the room then. John and Arthur shared a look before focusing back on their brother. They were both thinking the same thing...but who was going to be the one to say it?
Arthur looked to John again. "Seems like our brother's gotten himself a new perspective," he commented aloud, seeing Tommy's eyes snap to him from the corner of his.
A grin formed on John's face as he heard his older brother speak. Arthur was the one to cast the first stone. Now the floor was wide open. "I think it's because he's been going to that bloody church each weekend," he shared his thoughts on the situation.
Arthur shook his head. "Nah. The only reason he's going there is so he can give that girl a quick shag. You think it'll be worth it, Tom?"
Tommy was now seeing red. "What the fuck are you two going on about? Eh?!"
"That girl from Pol's place. (Y/N), was it?" John answered, even though the previous question was meant to be rhetorical.
"Yeah, yeah. That's her name. She's real pretty," Arthur commented, a smug grin now present.
Tommy couldn't take the comments anymore. He slammed his hand down on the desk, commanding their attention immediately. "Enough!" he bellowed, his eyes wide with anger. "You're not going to talk about her like that. In fact, you're not going fucking to talk about her at all. Understood?" He let out a heavy breath then, looking between the two of them before he swiped at his hair, returning the strands that had fallen over his forehead back to their resting place.
Neither John nor Arthur responded verbally to their brother's statement. Arthur let out a grunt of agreement and John merely nodded, both surprised by the show of emotion they'd just witnessed.
Tommy nodded in response to the silence. "Good. Now go out and figure out how we can get this guy. We need to do it cleanly," he gave them an order, one that made the two of them nod before turning and heading to the door.
John exited without another word, but Arthur stopped with his hand on the door's handle. He looked back to his brother, who had both of his palms placed flat on the desk as he finished recollecting himself.
"She really means something to you, doesn't she?" he broke the silence hanging in the room. His question made Tommy look up. They held eye contact for a few moments. Not a word was said. Arthur got his answer though; he could see it in Tommy's eyes. So instead of prolonging the staring contest, he nodded and exited the office.
Tommy let out a huff as the door shut, closing his eyes and tipping his head back against the chair. (Y/N) came to mind then, and he relished in the thought of her as it made his stresses wash away.
Tommy just happened to be sitting out on the floor of the betting shop when the most out of place looking person entered the building. He clocked the man speaking to Scudboat and continued working on the papers in front of him as he tried to listen into the conversation.
"Is Mr. Shelby in?"
"He's busy. You'll need an appointment. That can be arranged with his..."
"I just need to speak to him for a moment."
"You'll need to arrange an..."
"He's fine to speak with me, Scudboat," Tommy cut into the conversation, coming over to where he and (Y/N)'s father were standing by the door.
"Yes, Mr. Shelby," Scudboat bowed his head as he left the conversation, knowing he was no longer needed.
"What can I do for you, Mr. (Y/L/N)?" Tommy asked (Y/N)'s father then, his eyes trained on the man who still looked so out of place.
"I'm not here to spend any money," the older man quickly replied, a rather sour look present on his face.
"I never thought you were," Tommy responded, hoping that his level voice would ease the other man's inhibitions. "Has something happened to (Y/N)?" he asked then, his brows furrowing as a feeling of worry washed over him.
Mr. (Y/L/N) looked around the room for a moment before his eyes found Tommy's again. "Can we speak somewhere more private?" he requested, the inflection of his voice not giving Tommy any concrete answer to his question. He hated that.
"We can," the gangster nodded, then moving towards one of the private offices - a little too quickly for his liking. "Has something happened to (Y/N)?" he asked again once the two men were behind the closed door.
(Y/N)'s father sucked in a breath and let it out slowly, shaking his head every so slightly before he began speaking, "I know what you do...and I know that it's not right, nor good..." he started, his eyes darting around the room so he wouldn't have to hold Tommy's stare. "But I've seen you with my daughter, how you've tried to open up and let God into your life..." he paused again, taking another deep breath. Tommy wished he'd say what he needed to already. "She sees something in you that I can not, Mr. Shelby, and I hope that you see something in her that goes beyond physical desire."
"Way beyond, Mr. (Y/L/N)," Tommy was quick to tell him, "she's...she's changed me in ways I'd not thought possible."
"Good," the older man nodded, looking pleased with the response he'd gotten. Silence hung in the air then, and both men stared at each other. It was almost like one was waiting for the other to crack; for the other shoe to fall. Mr. (Y/L/N) was the one to speak first. "You have my blessing. You can court my daughter."
Tommy exhaled the breath he didn't know he was holding upon hearing the other man's statement. He immediately extended his hand. "Thank you, Mr. (Y/L/N)."
"Treat her well, Thomas," her father sternly said, accepting the handshake Tommy had offered.
"I will."
Tommy and (Y/N) arrived at the road to (Y/N)'s home, and (Y/N) turned to face him like she always did. She smiled at him, sweetly thanking him for walking her home from church. Tommy smiled at her, tipping his hat and making her giggle - like he usually did. (Y/N) then leaned in and pressed her lips to his, giving him the quick kiss that she'd always leave him with. This time, however, Tommy's hands found her waist and he held her close to him when she pulled away.
"Be mine," he whispered against her lips, pulling back slightly so that his eyes could find hers.
"Tommy," (Y/N) breathed in response to his statement, "my father..."
"He gave me his blessing," he assured her, "will you be mine, (Y/N)?" he asked this time.
A smile spread across (Y/N)'s lips as butterflies erupted in her stomach. This is what she'd been waiting for. Everyone had told her that Tommy Shelby was a man who was to be feared, but that was not the Tommy Shelby that she had the pleasure to know; to get close to. And now he was asking her the question she'd hoped he'd ask ever since the first kiss they shared.
"Yes, Tommy," she answered with a slight nod, excitement bubbling up inside of her, "yes, I'll be yours."
Her words made a smile form on Tommy's face, and instead of saying anything in response, he leaned in and kissed her, showing her how happy he was to hear her answer through the passion he put into the kiss. She was the only person who'd get him to change his ways...and now she was his.
**a little bit about the background: this was based off of a vignette that I read in a book about America in WWI — a man, who was rather rowdy, into no good things, took interest in a woman, and the woman’s father told him that the only way he’d get to court her is if he came to church. The man essentially changed his lifestyle around for her because he was so interested in her and they eventually got married — so just like Tommy, he got the girl.
———
Tagged: @mystcldydrms @the-anxious-youth @cloudofdisney @look-at-the-soul @elenavampire21 @mrsalwayswrite @julkaamazing @evita-shelby @lilyrachelcassidy @notyour-valentine @shelbydelrey @theshelbyslimited @peakyswritings @just-a-blackhole @watercolorskyy @strayrockette @peakyduchesss @alexxavicry @captivatedbycillianmurphy @yummycastiel @dark-academia-slut @tommystargirl @emotionalcadaver @stevie75 @lyarr24 @signorellisantichrist @zablife @anotherblinder @cillmequick @dandelionprints @letal-y-poetica @garrison-girl-08 @insanitybyanothername @depxiety @raincoffeeandfandoms @dragons-are-my-favorite @forgottenpeakywriter @cljordan-imperium @brummiereader @red-riding-wood @everythingelseisextra @little-diable @thomashelbyswife @shaddixlife
MASTERLIST
#tommy shelby#tommy shelby x reader#tommy shelby x you#tommy shelby x y/n#tommy shelby one shot#tommy shelby oneshot#tommy shelby imagine#tommy shelby fanfic#tommy shelby fanfiction#peaky blinders#peaky blinders x reader#peaky blinders x y/n#peaky blinders x you#peaky blinders one shot#peaky blinders oneshot#peaky blinders imagine#peaky blinders fanfiction#peaky blinders fanfic#fanfiction#fanfic
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
Astro Observations
Venus Sign Obs Edition💫
THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH for 1k 🥹🫶🫶 here is an appreciation post 💖
﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏
Aries Venus - these people are always doing it how they mean it or just active personality or they can have really strong values but open to new experiences. These natives are very open about how they feel about their relationships, they have a lot of passion for relations and friends, but it comes with a lot of issues being that they could have friends not reciprocate or people they love might not like them back in their younger years causing them to have low self worth. These natives have a big heart though! Aries is very big hearted but sometimes they don't act like it because they can be tough on those they care about but always to help them become better and they never mean true harm even when they try to be rude it usually just ends up funny or sassy to me (Aries mars too) 😭🤍
Taurus Venus - ooo LUV ❤ I am so biased lol as a Taurus moon because you guys are always super safe for me, like even the toxic ones can be super lovable ugh 😭 besides the toxic ones... The females are so kind and have some strong values/morals. Taurus Venus wants stable relationship with give and take and they want to have their partner to themselves and can become very jealous easily but don't like to admit it and they can be so shmexy about it like "I wanna leave a bite mark so everyone knows you are mine" ugh as scorpio Venus I eat that shiz up 😭💫💫
Gemini Venus - most likely to be besties before lovers, totally the most positive and funny in the room and so smart about random things. It's so much fun to hang out with these natives and they have a great sense of who they are and will take nothing less in relationships than what they deserve. They can have a lot of problems in the dating aspect because they are more comfortable with friends rather than being intimate and giving themselves fully to someone. Geminis and Gemini venuses can be quite open with their friends and people around them but with their loved ones closest to them it can be kind of hard for me to understand them because they can be a bit detached but it's for safety which I get and honestly I think they keep secrets just as good as ppl say Scorpios do, when they want to.
Cancer Venus - they get a lot of their values from their mothers. They have a lot of kind energy but sometimes they can be covert narcissists if aspecting asteroid narcissus or in the 12th house, because 12th house can make one have a hard time with boundaries in life. Cancer Venus is very kindhearted and want to care for their friends. However, they often seem great in the beginning but soon emotions become the forefront of the relationship often I see these placements being very sensitive people in close relationships and for me I just don't like that, sometimes it makes me feel like I have to walk on eggshells and I cannot speak my mind, but that is not Always the case for everyone and every cancer Venus if they have other good placements like earth placements to balance out emotions and grounded logic they can be very kindhearted and loyal and stable. In bed cancer Venus would want to get closer to the person and to create a nurturing environment definitely a cuddle buddy, the men might very comforting to their partner and protective which is just so heartwarming. Types to get turned on by cuddling literally. I love Cancer Venus peeps not super enjoyed as friends tho (8th house synastry😭) still tho ~🩵🩵🩵
Leo Venus - they are class clown guys or the baddie girlies, and they always have a pretty good sized friend group. Not necessarily famous but they have a lot of light and this can show up as getting a lot of attention from people. They are so IT ppl 💅 Always on trends and know how to dress UP 💃 these natives have a lot of passion for exploring and learning, always ready to go on an adventure with friends or family. They have a lot of fancy styles and elegance they dress to impress lol. (They also imo would be very good at dress to impress😭) Leo Venus in relationships want to be treated Right and nothing lessbut they have had low self esteem at some point in they're younger years but they grow into themselves later in life. Leo Venus in bed is passionate and looking to have fun, want to be praised or the opposite 🫣. . . Such loyal friends and family members, the types to give random gifts because they have a lot of nice things and might want to get rid of them and just gift to family and friends, really lovely souls and fun to be around.
Virgo Venus - most I have known were either really short or really tall no in between... They usually wear glasses if Venus/mercury is afflicted. Virgo Venus are very caring and they are very much the type to treat you as a patient whom they care about the health of same with 6th house Venus. Very concerned about the health of their loved ones and they want to take good care of them. Virgo Venus men in bed is always careful of your safety and wants to make sure you are comfortable and wants to know what you like/dislike and does so in a very attractive way. They are also very smart and/or smart looking people like dark academia aesthetic clothing. 🤍🫰also - of in good house - love for animals and care for them a lot
Libra Venus - these natives I have not seen in a good light and I have only met few, but I know that there are some lovely Libras out there somewhere - the ones I have known enjoy gossiping, mental stimulation, and often have a lot of conventional beauty. These people in some cases may be the type to run from arguments when less mature... In relationships they are really kind and compliment their loved ones a lot. Often they have pretty good skincare routines or they know a lot about make-up things, from my experience.
Scorpio Venus - these natives are super strong & powerful physically and/or emotionally. These natives in relationships are very loyal and passionate, might have issues with obsession in relationships and tend to like bad boys who are mysterious and this is usually what causes they're pain arc, and they end up staying by themselves especially if in the 12th house, so that they can rebuild and be more independent and learn about who they are. Scorpio Venus in bed are very maddening 🙈and intense, they may want connection and closeness with their partner sooner in the relationship rather than later. Scorpio Venus with friends are really loyal and sometimes may hold onto relationships a bit longer than necessary because they are comfortable even if it may be toxic... 👀
Sagittarius Venus - These natives are really fun, charismatic, and can often be jokesters. They do oftentimes like to party and have a wanderlust that cannot be beat. I see say men especially get a lot of flack for things like being flighty and having commitment issues and basically portray them as flirts and f boys which is so far from how I usually see it. From what I have seen, they are very outgoing and like to be friends with many, sometimes they are also the opposite too though, finding it hard to talk to ppl much, and sticking more to themselves... Either way, say venusians do in many cases think pretty highly of themselves though in my experience. Honestly they are, in my humble opinion, pretty fun and cool ppl. ❤️🔥
Capricorn Venus - often pretty serious but still fun and loyal ppl. They have a lot of sass sometimes in females and are girl bosses or they hold more traditional beliefs as males. The females I know are super strong and beautiful. As friends, they are giving with their time and energy with the relationships that they really care about. These natives are very hardworking or the opposite if afflicted. I don't know much about these natives because I know very few but I can say that they can be clingy when young, alao they often try to act mature sooner in turn some end up in relationships at a younger age, from what I have seen (male and female.)
Aquarius Venus - oh boy these natives are very different but they also are quite familiar to me, they have a need for a lot of mental stimulation and often they have like 2 really close ppl who they don't ghost but they often ghost ppl randomly and then come back like a few months later. Aqua Venus love to be sociable and have a lot of connections same with Venus 11th house, they are super fun and often come from a religious background but change their beliefs as they get older and have strong morals and values. They get really clingy with the ppl they love sometimes when younger and they can have rejection which causes them to be more detached and they end up being a bit flighty from one group to another, but overall when mature they are very interesting and smart ppl.
Pisces Venus - they're really kind and have a lot of love to give to the world, and are very artsy and have the ability to be very intelligent emotionally. Often Pisces Venus ppl are the kind of lover to paint for you or draw for you as a gift and love to just be freely very creative with their partners. Pisces Venus truly need to be protected they are very kind souls as long as they are kept away from the harmful things of the world in their homes. If they are not kept safe they may go down a bad path and those kinds of Pisces end up having insatiable loneliness which creates a perfect mentality for addiction. Pisces are amazing friends who can give great advice and they may often be the type to be friends with ppl who might hurt them or who they attempt to fix, or those who encourage their vices. Pisces ppl are super wise... and they love deeply when they fall for someone.
﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌
『 Thank you for reading I hope you enjoyed, please leave a comment if I missed anything ~~ ��🤍💓 ~~ 』
© 2024 sc0rpi0suntaurusm00n
#astrology#astrology observations#venus signs#venus sign observations#astro obs#scorpio#aquarius#pisces#gemini#cancer#taurus#leo#libra#virgo#aries#capricorn#12th house#scorpio venus#taurus venus#aries venus#libra venus#cancer venus#gemini venus#sag venus#capricorn venus#virgo venus#pisces venus#leo venus#aqua venus#my observations
560 notes
·
View notes
Text
How does the stalker business work?
Loredump. October 2023
A web of alliances, insiders, clients, and territorial disputes - this is what forms the stalker business, a domain that’s as illegal as it is profitable.
Today, we’ll delve into the basic origins and inner workings of this peculiar profession. Let’s find out how these glorified marauders operate!
How did the stalker business develop?
The stalker business emerged almost as soon as the Zone itself was born. But, much like every structure based around the Zone itself, it became more refined - and more corrupt - as years went on.
What started as individuals travelling the Zone completely on their own accord grew into a network of organised groups with their own informants, clientele and designated territories. Yet when it looked like major alliances had become fully solidified with a couple of large groups operating across vast stretches of the Zone, the development of the internet put a dent in the system.
Yura: Do I really need to know the territorial policies of 70s factions Sergei: YES Olya: No.
As many information-gathering and order-related operations moved online, doing business in smaller groups became a more viable option. Nowadays, the majority choose to operate in gangs of up to 30 people.
Since the business has grown more decentralised and, in a way, accessible, the competition within it has increased dramatically. Territories are less clearly defined and run-ins with members of rivalling gangs are commonplace. When it comes to the human factor, it’s more dangerous than it ever was.
How are the little groups organised?
Modern stalker groups are typically formed around somebody who has direct connections to potential clients or those able to nicely aggregate information about the Zone’s current state. So any group needs at least one product reseller and one strategic leader, which can sometimes be the same person.
The latter is true for Sergei's group, for instance.
He is responsible for processing orders, evaluating the delivered artefacts, reselling them, gathering up to date information about the Zone’s landscape and traffic, and helping the available stalkers plan their trips accordingly. It’s a heavy workload, so having just one person performing all of those tasks wouldn’t be manageable on a larger scale.
Obviously enough, smaller groups are more reliant on the quality of their individual members, even more so when they have a specific role to fill. If we use known members of Sergei’s group as examples, they fit pretty neatly into the following roles:
Radar (радар). Formerly fulfilled by Kolya – a stalker with an outstanding sense for anomalies. Irreplaceable for navigating the more treacherous parts of the Zone. Yura was going to inherit that role.
Doctor (доктор). Self-explanatory. While it’s recommended that all stalkers undergo some form of first aid training, it never hurts to have someone with a deeper knowledge of medicine on the team. This role was filled by Nikita.
Insider (свояк). As the name suggests, it’s a person that helps in various aspects of stalker work by providing client contacts, guard post information, info about other gangs’ operations, and so on depending on their position. Insiders don’t usually take part in actual trips or even work with specific stalker groups, but Olya is built different.
Ram (таран). The muscle of the group. You don’t need to be especially physically fit to navigate the Zone,but when things become dire, it absolutely helps. This was Sergei’s role when he still travelled the Zone.
These are arbitrary designations and many don’t fit into one particular role. That said, creating a balanced group of 3 is easier when there’s a fair understanding of each person’s strengths.
Yura: Oh, kinda like video game classes! Sanya: Yeah, I guess. Yura: So who would I be? Sanya: Support.
What does the typical work cycle look like?
An order is either placed on an online marketplace or is mailed directly to a trusted trader. The trader then passes the information to the strategist, who analyses the current Zone layout, as well as the latest available information about the placements of various artefacts and anomalies.
The strategist then determines the optimal routes to retrieving the ordered goods. Some use special software to aid in the process. The service price is then estimated based on the difficulty of retrieval and transportation. If the initial price suggested in the order is lower than this estimate, price negotiations will ensue.
Once the minimal price is agreed on, the actual planning starts. A group of three is gathered from the pool of available stalkers. They are all informed about the mission specifics and the route they need to travel - this is when the team can discuss and make adjustments to the plan.
Nikita: No, no, this route will be way too stressful for Olyechka. Perhaps, she should sit this one out? Olya: If we don't make this route shorter, Nikita won't come back, I'm afraid. Nikita: Well, aren't you a treat. Anyways, Serozha, my leg has been getting worse and I won't make this climb. Olya: Perhaps, you should sit this one out.
After the artefacts are delivered to the trader, their quality is evaluated. Stalkers tend to pick up whatever valuables they find on the way, which means extra cash for them and more work for the trader.
Once the evaluation is complete, stalkers are paid off and the products are resold at a significantly higher price. The artefacts that were specifically ordered are exchanged for the agreed upon amount of money and the extra stuff is peddled to other high-paying customers.
Since selling artefacts is a risky and complicated endeavour in itself, most stalkers are content with the paychecks they get from their trader.
Finally, when everything is done, stalkers may anonymously share information about their trip to the online community. But considering the competitive nature of the business, not everyone is willing to help out their fellow colleagues – or really, not everyone wants to talk about the things they’ve seen.
What is the online stalker community like?
As was already mentioned, the internet has majorly changed how stalkers went about receiving orders and information about the Zone. It has become an important channel for communication and securing deals.
Firstly, all of the relevant platforms are on the deep web. Secondly, all of them are invite-only.
The three major platforms are:
Doska (literally “the board” as in bulletin board)
A marketplace where orders are placed and taken up by anyone interested, as well as an auction platform for selling off artefacts. Widely used by groups and stalkers who have not yet gained established clients.
Krematorii (crematorium)
A closed forum. Discussions, rumours, shitposting.
10K Crematorium karma
14KKM (as in 14 thousand kilometers, the approximate area of the Zone)
A dynamically updated map of the Zone. User-managed, hence chaotic and unreliable.
Users can mark locations of witnessed anomalies and artefact positions, which others can confirm or downvote. A marking needs to be confirmed by at least 4 people before it is put down and is removed if at least 4 people downvote it. All markings can be commented on.
Most of the community tries to maintain it more or less accurately for the sake of their own future missions, but there are malefactors that will add false markers to it. Should be taken with a huge grain of salt.
Of course, it bears mentioning that there are plenty of fake online communities on the surface web. Those are rife with people roleplaying as stalkers, scammers, kids, and just shitposters. No actual stalker uses those for business.
Rules regarding the Zone
Though the information side of things has changed a lot, the core methodology of travelling the Zone itself remained the same. Sets of universal rules became solidified over the years, which can be described as a mixture of operational protocols and esoteric beliefs.
What are the basic operational protocols?
Basic operational protocols outline best practices for dealing with simple anomalies, traversing the Zone, bypassing guard posts, and handling difficult situations (mercy kills, painless death, encountering other stalkers).
Some common recommendations include:
use projectiles (usually bolts with pieces of cloth attached for visibility) to check for gravitational anomalies;
operate in groups of three - two do the job, the third one watches on;
do not consume any food or drinks you find;
avoid unnatural shadows;
do not stay at the Hollow for over 20 minutes (your body will start to decay);
do not approach the Town (your body will permanently distort);
do not handle fizzy clay without rubber gloves (will leave you debilitated or addicted to the substance);
always send the draisine back;
don't photograph ghosts;
etc.
They are objective results of many years of trial and error. Going against them is likely to end in death or injury regardless of your personal qualities. In other words, there is little dispute over the validity of these rules. The same cannot be set for the second ruleset.
What are stalker beliefs?
The Zone favours the miserable. The desperate, the broken, the lonely. The Zone favours ones that are willing to give up their whole being to her, to completely entrust themselves to her whims. She rewards dejection.
These are common truths to some and hogwash to others. There is no solid proof for any of these claims - how can there be? However, there is no happy stalker, and there is no living stalker without a scar. To many, that's evidence enough.
On top of that, there are some group-specific philosophies. They include:
the Zone is a holy place that needs to be revered;
the Zone is an ulcer of the world that needs to be cleansed;
the Zone is the new stage of Earth’s evolution;
the Zone is divine punishment;
the Zone is a point of contact with a parallel universe;
and many others.
These philosophies dictate how people go about their activities in the Zone in a more ritualistic sense. It’s hard to devise whether or not those little rituals have any effect that isn’t purely psychological.
There is a good number of people that hold a purely cynical view of the Zone. But whether they admit it or not, everyone gradually develops a sense of fear and reverence for it. How they compartmentalise it is a different question.
Conclusion
I could write more about the topic, but as of now, I think this general outline should suffice. The stalker business is a multifaceted enterprise to say the least, so hopefully this article has shed the light on its most essential aspects.
Perhaps, there will one day be a more in-depth follow-up! Who knows. As we continue to unveil the enigmatic layers of the Zone, only time will reveal the full extent of its mysteries... And the engimatic layers of shitty Stalker forums, I guess.
549 notes
·
View notes
Note
I literally grew up watching DBZ on Toonami reruns as a kid.. and it’s got me thinking…..
The Destined One (if you fight you know who to get the True Ending) receives Sun Wukong’s memories, but is clearly still his Own Self.. he gets to keep his individuality but now he has the knowledge and wisdom of Daddy OG Wukong’s previous experiences…
But what if….. it worked like a Namekian absorption fusion? Like with Piccolo and Nail?
like The Destined One literally Has OG Wukong chattering away in his head like a little subconscious Jiminy cricket.. but with more quips Less guidance and WAY more Shit talking. 
((Oh God, this thing is so breaking funny?! Like WHAAAAAA?Okay, okay, let me spice it up a little. Beware, slighty suggestive at some point))
After the Memories of Sun Wukong were bestowed on him, he became the new Sage (to the dismay of the Celestial Court). Everything seemed pretty fine with Yuán Fèn. He was strong; everybody accepted him as the new Monkey King, and his wish was to live happily ever after with you.
At first, it was just a small thing—a small voice that he heard from time to time. Just like when you think that someone is calling you and then nothing! He blamed the successful events; he not even needed to let you worry about!
While he was stirring his own tea, sitting under the tree at your side, he heard it again.
"Young one!"
He stiffened his neck, looking around, but he came back to his tea. No one was calling him; it was the fifth time that day. How strange...
Then, things started to get REALLY strange. He started to hear full sentences, or after he had responded to them, he even received another remark!
"I can't believe you defeated my stone self with that stance."
"I can't believe that I'm turning into some kind of demented monkey with the old save powers."
"I HEARD THAT!!"
He suddenly loosed his own balance and started you and other young monkeys.
He thought he could handle it; he could handle a god as Erlang; he could handle this too!
He couldn't be more wrong.
"You look awfully tried. Are you sure you're sleeping well?"
He just nodded, just hoping that the Great Sage could spare him some sleep in the afternoon from his continuous blabbering.
At the end, he finally confessed everything to you. It was noble to know that he didn't want to obligate you to handle this thing with him, but instead you simply accepted it.
After all, you were soon to be King and Queen; you wanted to share his burden!
"Sooo...what does he say? About me, I mean..."
Yuán Fèn stayed silent, expecting something from the voice in his head.
"Umm...nice hips! She's going to bear a lot of kids, young one!"
"He said you're okay."
Things started to get strange when Yuán Fèn started to actually see him.
He almost had a heart attack the day that he saw him, and oh my, if he wished to get rid of him.
You believed that it wasn't such a big deal; Wukong must have been a rational creature to leave your privacy alone! ....Wrong.
The sound of your sigh and panting emitted in your small abode. The only source of light is a small candel, near the end of it.
His hands held your hips, while your lips kept on caressing his cheeks, leaving kisses and small bites. He tried to restrain a laugh, but the rumble in his chest took it away.
"Did you like it?"
He mewled, his tail moving restless around.
"I don't know him, but do I enjoy the view!"
Yuán Fèn suddenly screamed, making you fall from his hips, causing you to hit your head in the side of the bed, exposing in that motion your chest to the ceiling and to an invisible monkey that only the young one could see.
"W-WHAT THE -"
"DO YOU MIND?!"
"Uh, uh, uh, you should mind that boner in your thoughts! I think she would love to take care of that!"
And, while your lover tried to protect you from a pair of eyes that wasn't even there, you started to feel your desire and passion slowly fade away.
Things didn't get better, and now frustration started to get attached to you, like some kind of parasite. You were fed up, he was fed up, and Wukong... he couldn't find the situation more amusing.
"Am I in front of him?"
"Yes?"
"What does he do?"
"He's just...staring, just staring."
You clear your throat, while, only for Yuán Fèn, the old sage gave another bite to the peach, looking at the small human that was acting all big in front of him. You took enough control, and finally.
"Sun Wukong... I need to fuck, like for real. Leave us alone for... I don't know, 48 hours."
In his head, the poor monkey felt the great sage equal to Heaven laugh like never before.
@sleepingdramaqueen
@sun-jglim
@crimsonflameproxy
@everlastingmoonlightsworld
@biankanoir
@cromboloni
@miraclecherryblossomsblog
@masksandfeathers
@certifiedsimpinggalore
@cinnamonroll-anon
@justrandomlypassing
@cute-angi
@dressycobra7
@virtualexpertanchor
@szynkaaa
@sleepydang
#black myth wukong#destined one#destined one x reader#sun wukong#sunwukong#wukong#sun wukong x reader#sun wukong x oc#sun wukong x y/n#wukong x reader#wukong x oc#jttw#jttw sun wukong#journey to the west#fem reader#x reader#female
306 notes
·
View notes
Text
。*゚+*.✧"Into the looking glass - II " 。*゚+*.✧
Part I Part II Part III
Post format: Multipart series
Pairing: Yandere!Male!DoL x Fem!Isekai!Reader
Word count: 5.2k
Synopsis: You gain the chance to wake up in the world of one of your favorite games. Unfortunately, the 'favorite game' happens to be one about rape, violence, and stalking. Not only that, but the game seems to be rigged against you. All you want is to find a way home and put this all behind you, but is that even possible...?
Warnings: Sexual Assault, Attempted Non/Con, Stalking, Violence, Age Gaps, Teacher/Student, Caretaker/Ward, One Suicide Joke, Bullying,
Excellent Good Decent Okay Poor Bad Terrible
What…what does that mean?
Darling? Surely, they don’t mean it the way you think they mean it…
…But, if that were the case, why would it be written in red and pink? You think back on all the strange occurrences of the day and come to a horrifying realization.
Beauty: 7/6 Your beauty is beyond measure. Robin wants to be your best friend. Love: 100% Confidence: 0% Trauma: 0% Lust: 40% Whitney wants to own you. Love: 50% Dominance: 50% Lust: 100% Kylar is obsessed with you. Love: 100% Jealousy: 55% Lust: 90% Sydney is conflicted. Love: 77% Purity: 44% Lust: 66% Bailey doesn’t want you to leave. Love: 25% Lust: 99% You’re Leighton’s favorite. Love: 10% Lust: 85% Your fellow students desire you.
When they say “Darling,” they mean it as in the victim of a yandere.
This...this isn't DoL.
Your phone buzzes. You’ve gotten a text.
Congratulations! You’ve made a key discovery and found a fragment of the true nature of this world.
What the fuck does that mean? Wait, this thing can read your thoughts?
View fragment? Y/N
Yes. If you can go home, yes.
There are 7 total fragments. Fragments found: 2 Fragments remaining: 5 Fragment 1: Welcome to the alpha of Degrees of Lewdity! If you want to avoid trouble, dress modestly and stick to safe, well-lit areas. Nights are particularly dangerous. Dressing lewd will attract attention, both good and bad. The new school year starts tomorrow at 09:00. The bus service is the easiest way to get around town. Don’t forget your uniform and backpack!
You remember getting this message. So, that was a fragment, then? Why weren’t you notified before? Did you need to unlock something first?
Fragment 2: This is a world full of yanderes, so be careful! Balance your social stats between fascination, love, lust, jealousy, and devotion to survive. A quick guide on these crucial four states is provided below: Fascination indicates how enthralled your yandere is by the idea of you. It’s dangerous to let this get too high! Love indicates how much a yandere values the authentic you. Putting on airs will lower your yandere’s love, but may be necessary at times. Having a negative love will lead to more dangerous encounters. Lust indicates carnal desire. Higher lust can aid in negotiations if you’re willing to reward them, but if this stat goes up too much, they won’t be willing to hear you out before taking what they want. Jealousy indicates the yandere’s volatility and desire to monopolize you. Some yanderes’ jealousy will go up if you don’t spend enough time with them. Devotion indicates how far the yandere is willing to go out of their way for you. Having this stat means you can make use of your yanderes, but they may also use their devotion in less productive ways.
Seems like every fragment reveals one truth about the world, as well as some tips on how to make use of the information it provides.
Your phone buzzes.
System error. Please reboot.
You look down at your phone with curiosity. What happened? Not knowing what else to do, you restart your phone and open it again.
Your social tabs have been updated with more accurate information. View tabs? Y/N
Yes.
Social Excellent Good Decent Okay Poor Bad Terrible Primary relationships Robin The Orphan Robin wants to be your best friend. Facination: 100% Love: 0% Devotion: 30% Lust: 40% Confidence: 0% Trauma: 0% Whitney The Bully Whitney wants to own you. Facination: 50% Love: 0% Devotion: 0% Dominance: 50% Lust: 100% Kylar The Loner Kylar is obsessed with you. Fascination: 100% Love: 0% Devotion: 30% Jealousy: 55% Lust: 90% Sydney The Faithful ? Sydney is conflicted. Fascination: 77% Love: 0% Devotion: 20% Purity: 44% Lust: 66% Other relationships: Bailey The Caretaker Bailey doesn’t want you to leave. Fascination: 25% Love: 0% Lust: 99% Devotion: 1% Leighton The Headmaster You’re Leighton’s favorite. Fascination: 16% Love: 0% Lust: 85% Devotion: 0% Reputation The police aren’t concerned with you, and have no evidence linking you to any crime. The atmosphere in the orphanage is calm. You are considered a normal student by teachers. Your fellow students desire you. Lust: 100% Status: 50%
Before you can properly digest this new information, your phone buzzes again.
Congratulations! You’ve unlocked a new quest. You have just discovered two secrets of the world, and with it, your understanding becomes clearer. ++Awareness. You feel as if you are on the verge of remembering something important. Discover all there is to know about this place, and perhaps you may be granted the opportunity to escape it. View questpage? Y/N
You might be able to go home? You quickly hit the yes button and keep reading.
Main questline >Find the remaining fragments and discover the true nature of this world. >Meet the remaining love interests. Time-sensitive >Bailey wants £100 on Sunday.
…You have to meet the remaining love interests? Doesn’t that mean getting kidnapped?! You stare at your phone dejectedly as you roll over in bed. You’ll worry about that later. For now, you just need to rest. You close your eyes, but you can’t get comfortable. Your phone buzzes for what feels like the millionth time, and you lazily pull it out to check.
You’ve unlocked a new quest! Your bed is uncomfortable. All rest points are reduced by half. Nightmares are more intense. Every rest has a 5% chance of waking you up sore. Save up your funds and buy a comfortable bed! Current funds: £186 Funds needed: £2400 Optional: Decorate your room to match your taste. Current funds: £186 Funds needed: ??? Rewards: Triple current rest points, nightmares reduced Penalty: None Bonus Rewards: +Love to all LI’s, passive stress and trauma decay faster while inside.
Money again, huh? Typical. Still, the rewards are pretty good. You’ll have to do it later. For now, you should probably go to work to make it happen. You change out of your uniform and head to the office building, where you approach the kiosk and apply as a temp. It’s a somewhat risky job, but the pay is one of the best, especially once you start getting bonuses.
Your manager this time is a trim man named Marcus. He shows you around the building and you get to work. It’s not too bad, though your clothes get caught in the shredder more times than you’d like to admit, at least you didn’t fall in the koi pond.
Before you realize it, it’s 22:00. Dark once again. Dark in Doltown with a constantly maxed allure.
Fuck.
You go downstairs and are debating whether you should risk the bus or the streets when a growling pair of yellow eyes meets your gaze.
“If I get molested by a dog, I’m actually gonna kill myself,” you say to no one in particular, immediately turning to the direction of the nearest bus stop.
That’s another reason you should work at the dog pound from time to time, actually. Completing various tasks there makes the streets safer at night and beastiality encounters less frequent.
You end up having to use your sole pepper spray charge on two men from the bus, leaving you unprotected and uneasy. You open your phone and turn on the flashlight, but your eye is caught by your status. Right under the blurb telling you about your current state, is purple text reading: “Something is watching you.”
An idea strikes you. It’s bold, it’s risky, it’s—
This is stupid, you think to yourself. This is so, so stupid. You follow your flashlight to a secluded, dead-end alleyway. There’s only one way for someone to come in here. You check your phone. Something is watching you.
“Hello?” You call out. “I know you’re watching me. Come out already.” You hear a rustling near the garbage bags, then see a short figure dart out and make a run for it. You were expecting this, though, so you immediately break out into a sprint and give chase. You aren’t very fast, but your legs are longer, and you quickly catch up. “Gotcha,” you say, hand on their shoulder as you turn them to face you. “Kylar.”
“H-how did you know?”
“Forget that. Just know I’m not mad.”
“Y-you aren’t?” There’s a twinge of hope in his voice. Time to crush it.
“I’m not. Not yet, anyway.” Kylar looks confused. “I hear you’re good at chemistry. Can you make pepper spray?”
“How did you-”
“Can you?” You say, allowing your voice to take on a flirtatious lull as you lean in close. “I’d be very happy if you could.” You bat your eyelashes and Kylar gulps. He tries to nod but ends up hitting your head with his own by accident. +Pain
“Good,” you say. “I want you to make pepper spray for me. Make sure I never run out, and you can follow me to your heart's content. Deal?” You hold out your hand for him to take. Kylar considers it for a moment, then takes your hand. ++Devotion. You shake, but he doesn’t let go. Not wanting to provoke him, you leave it, and Kylar ends up walking you home. It’s silly, but you actually feel a little safer walking with him. +Love.
Together, you reach the orphanage’s entrance. Kylar looks like he wants to ask you to stay the night but quickly flushes and runs away.
Thank God.
You climb into bed. It isn’t very comfortable.
———————
It is the 6th of September, 2022. -It has been 2 days since the game started. -The game started in autumn. -It is autumn. -School term Finishes on Friday the 2nd of December. Current Funds: £357 Pain: You feel okay Arousal: You are cold Fatigue: You are alert Stress: You are calm Trauma: You are uneasy Control: You are confident Allure: You look like you need to be ravaged
You walk with Robin to school but part ways after reaching the courtyard. You aren’t sure where Robin goes when you part, but you suppose it doesn’t really matter. You head to the library but are surprised to find that Sydney isn’t there. You guess he must have overslept at the temple again, which means he won’t be back until lunch.
You suddenly wish you knew where Robin went after arriving at school. It’s probably more dangerous to wander around looking for him, though. So you settle down with a textbook until it’s time for class. When you check your school progress, you’re delighted to see every subject at nearly a 50% understanding for the week already. You’re on track.
The science project is assigned. You decide to do one on lichen. The money will help a lot, and it’ll be a good chance to meet Avery for your quest, too.
Someone spills acid on you during class. It was probably supposed to hit your shirt, but because of how you can’t button it up past your chest, it ended up hitting your breast instead. You spent the rest of class in the infirmary getting lectured about lab safety. Luckily, it was hardly even a first-degree burn. It’ll heal in no time, she said.
+Pain +Willpower
You return just in time to be late for math. +Delinquency
“Detention,” River says, not bothering to look up from the whiteboard.
“But—”
“Don’t talk back to me.” ++Delinquency
You nod, though you doubt he can see it, and look for a seat. The room is full, save for one seat in the back next to Whitney. It’s covered in boxes full of heavy textbooks.
Your phone buzzes.
>Move the boxes and sit next to Whitney +Fatigue -Dominance Increases chance of harassment >Sit in Whitney’s lap (Promiscuity 4) +++Dominance +++Lust -Jealousy >Ask someone to move +Delinquency -Dominance >Leave the classroom +++Delinquency
You sigh and march over to a toned boy sitting in the front. You try to smile but end up grimacing instead. “Could I sit here?” You ask. The boy laughs. River shoots you a look. -Status +Deliquency
>Get physical ++Delinquency +Status ? >Move the boxes and sit next to Whitney +Fatigue -Dominance Increases chance of harrasment >Sit in Whitney’s lap (Promiscuity 4) +++Dominance +++Lust -Jealousy >Leave the classroom +++Delinquency
You grit your teeth and walk over to Whitney, who pats his lap mockingly. You turn away from him to pick up the boxes, and he lifts your skirt up. You don’t think anyone saw, but it was still humiliating. You quickly move the boxes and sit down, trying to focus on the lesson. You’re doing pretty well despite your low grade, but sitting next to Whitney is definitely not helping. About halfway through the lesson, he throws a note at you, and despite your better judgment, you open it.
“show us your panties slut”
>Flash (Exhibitionism 1) +Lust +Dominance >Throw away -Dominance >Correct the note and throw back (English: Very difficult) --Dominance
You try to correct the note, but find nothing wrong. You toss it in a nearby bin instead.
-Dominance
The rest of class passes, and although Whitney tries to undo your bra strap again, he reaches for the back instead of the front, leaving you protected.
You go to English next, your previous encounter with Whitney leaving you motivated to do well. You see Kylar sitting in the back. You ignore him and focus on the lesson instead. It’s boring, but you need the grade, so you muddle through it.
You try to muddle through it, anyway. The person behind you keeps kicking your seat, and then looking away every time you turn to face him.
>Tell the teacher -Status +English >Endure +Stress >Move seats +Delinquency
You quietly inform the teacher of your predicament, and she sends the boy to another seat. Some students snicker at you, but you’re able to finish the lesson in peace. -Status +English
The bell rings, and you head to lunch. Robin is eating with some others from the orphanage; they seem to be having fun. Sydney is sitting behind a large pile of books; he looks stressed. Kylar is eating alone, stabbing food with a fork; he looks bored.
>Sit with Robin +Love -Stress -Jealousy >Sit with Sydney +Love -Stress -Jealousy >Sit with Kylar +Love -Jealousy +++Pepper spray charge >Eat Lunch -Stress
You sit with Kylar, and hope no one notices. He immediately perks up upon seeing you. “I-I got you this,” he says, handing you a pepper spray canister. “Should keep the perverts away.”
You gained 20 pepper spray charges! Talk to Kylar each week to refill. >Take it but say nothing -Love >Take it and thank +Love +Devotion >Take it and kiss ++Lust ++Devotion >Take it and reward +++Lust +++Devotion
You thank him sincerely, and the two of you spend the rest of lunch together. +Love +Devotion
After eating, you buy a coffee and head to the library, walking up to Sydney. “Welcome back!” He chirps from behind the desk. He looks exhausted despite the chipper tone. You hand him the coffee.
“Don’t overwork yourself,” you say, smiling. Sydney looks surprised but quickly smiles and takes the coffee from you. You look down at the stacks of books on his desk. +Love “Anything I can help with?”
>Help Sydney +Love +Devotion +School -Sydney’s purity
“Oh, you don’t have to-”
“I want to,” you say firmly. You feel bad just leaving him there, plus…
Well, how can you turn that down? Aside from the purity loss, those are all pretty damn good.
“Well, if you don’t mind,” he says, fidgeting a little. “Could you help me stamp these books?” You nod, and Sydney lets you in behind the counter. +Love +Devotion +School
The two of you chat while you work, and it actually ends up being pretty enjoyable! -Stress -Trauma +Love
Your hands brush with Sydney's while you work. -Sydney'd purity.
“Hey, Syd! Oh, and [First], too!” Someone says, walking up to the counter. It’s Sirris, Sydney’s father and your science teacher. “How are you doing, love bug?” Sydney looks embarrassed but still answers. “Oops! I forgot I’m not supposed to call you that at school. Sorry, hon.” You get the feeling he did it on purpose, but if Sydney also thinks this, he doesn’t say anything. The two of them chat for a little bit, with Sirris mostly ignoring your presence. You feel a little awkward, but it’s cute to see the two of them getting along so well. Sirris leaves after a few minutes, waving to you both.
You smile at Sydney. “Seems like you and Dad are pretty close, huh?” He flushes.
“L-let’s get back to work,” he says. You decide not to tease him further. The two of you finish the rest of the work in silence, and the bell rings, so you get up and head to History class.
A mousy girl is sitting in your seat next to Robin. You ask her to move, but she won’t budge. You already have detention today, so you decide not to push it and sit somewhere else. Robin looks at you sadly from across the room +Jealousy
You’re called up by Winter to demonstrate the pillory in front of the class, you hesitate to step up, but, remembering Leighton’s punishments, decide to risk it. Unfortunately, luck is not on your side, and Winter is called out while you’re still locked in the pillory.
“Who thinks the lesson should continue?” Says a slight boy. He gets up from his seat and begins to saunter over, but Robin stands up, too, and blocks his path forward.
“Assaulting another student? I expected better from you, Robin,” he says.
“Stop,” he says, tone even and steady.
“Oh? And what’re you going to do about it?” The slight boy asks. Robin seems to falter for a moment, and the slight boy takes advantage, pushing past him and walking up behind you. You don’t see what happens next, but one moment Robin is in front of you, and the next, he’s gone. You hear a smacking noise behind you, and then a thud as if something had just hit the ground. The class looks incredulous. Winter walks back in.
“Wait, I can explain–”
“Detention.”
The slight boy smacks your ass on the way back to his seat.
+Trauma +Stress
You go to swimming, but your earlier run-in with acid leaves you unable to participate, so you just sit by the pool in your swimsuit until class is over. When you get back, you notice your underwear is missing. You put your clothes on over your swimsuit. It looks a little funny from the front, but it’s better than nothing.
Actually, you might start doing this more often. A swimsuit is tight and harder to get off, no one can unclasp your bra, you don’t have to change, and it’ll actually cover your boobs, even with the shirt unbuttoned. This is a great idea, you think to yourself, feeling a little proud.
You start to walk to the front courtyard when your phone reminds you of your detention. Shit. You’d forgotten. At least Robin will be there with you?
Sighing, you head back inside.
“Keep writing, and don’t stop until I tell you to,” Leighton says. You glance at Robin, who’s working diligently. You decide to work hard, too. +Fatigue
Robin asks to walk home with you, but you tell him you’re going to the park instead. He waves you off, but there’s a glint in his eye that wasn’t there before. +Jealousy
You go to the park and meet Avery, asking for help gathering Lichen. You tell him about your school project, and he offers to take you out for drinks. You don’t really want to get involved with him, but you’re a little afraid of refusing him.
>Go for drinks +Facination +Dominance +Love? >Refuse -Love +Lust +Rage
None of those options look good, but you remember the guide saying that negative love leads to more dangerous encounters. You take his hand, and the two of you go out. The place he picked is cute, and the employees there seem to recognize him.
“Can I recommend you a drink?” He asks. “I think I know what you’ll like.”
>Buy Avery’s recommendation +Facination +Dominance +Stress >Pick your own drink +Love -Stress -Dominance -Fascination -Endearment
You pick your own drink and the two of you find a quiet corner to sit down in. +Love -Stress -Dominance -Fascination -Endearment
Your phone buzzes.
You’re on a date with Avery! How do you want to conduct yourself? >Act cute +Facination +Endearment >Act shy +Facination -Endearment >Act aloof --Endearment ++Lust >Be natural -Facination +???
You choose to act natural, hoping he’ll lose interest in you. You don’t voice any complaints, but you don’t bother to hide your discomfort, either. You fidget, you avoid eye-contact, and you don’t listen when he speaks to you.
-Fascination --Endearment +Love
When the date is over, Avery looks annoyed. He doesn’t say anything to you as he walks you to the exit, though his hand still rests on the small of your back.
You go to the manhole next. You don’t really want to, but you want that lichen. Luckily, you encounter no problems getting it. But that says nothing about what happens after.
You’re accosted by a giant lizard. If the game hadn’t told you what it was, you would have thought it was a crocodile based on its sheer size alone. It attacks you from behind, and you struggle to get it off your back. It claws at your clothing, leaving it worse for wear, but you’re able to roll over onto your back. The lizard is pinned underneath you now, but you still can’t reach it. You roll over and feel your shirt rip, exposing your back. You reach into your bag and pull out your pepper spray, aiming for the lizard’s eyes. It scurries away, leaving you panting in the sewers. You get a good workout.
You want to leave, but you still need that Lichen.
You crawl out of the sewers and head to the tailor, who offers to fix your clothes for £29.99. You accept and head to the office building, where you work as a temp for the next few hours, fighting through the exhaustion. You make £126.
You pass out on your way home and wake up in the hospital. Dr. Harper introduces himself and asks a few questions, but you leave out any details that could cause him to ask you to go to “therapy” with him. You’re discharged soon after, and Bailey picks you up.
“Don’t make me do this again,” he says.
When you get home, it’s already past midnight. You don’t bother putting on Pajamas, just stripping and hopping under the covers.
…
……
………
You should’ve worn clothes, you think to yourself as you feel Kylar’s breath on your face. He’s hard; you can feel the outline of his penis through the blanket. You try to steady your breathing, too embarrassed to open your eyes. He shifts on top of you, and then lifts your blanket from your body. You react without thinking, immediately sitting up in a panic. You just barely avoid colliding with him. Your eyes meet his, and he looks down, getting a fully unobstructed view of your breasts. He flushes deeply and scrambles away. ++Lust
After taking a moment to collect yourself, you stand up to close your window. You notice that it doesn’t have a lock.
You put on pajamas before going back to bed this time and wonder if you can find some way to board it up. You close your eyes, but rest never comes. You’re too on edge. You roll in bed for hours, never relaxing enough to fall back asleep. When you finally give up, it’s already 06:00. You remember your idea from earlier, and decide to wear your swimsuit under your uniform today.
It is the 7th of September, 2022. -It has been 3 days since the game started. -The game started in autumn. -It is autumn. -School term Finishes on Friday the 2nd of December. Current Funds: £454 Pain: You feel okay Arousal: You are cold Fatigue: You are fatigued Stress: You are strained Trauma: You are uneasy Control: You are insecure Allure: You look like you need to be ravaged
You decide to spend some time in the garden growing daisies. It’s relaxing. By the time you finish, your hands are covered in dirt, and it’s 07:30. You wash your hands and go to Robin’s room to play video games for the next half hour.
“This one’s a cooperative game,” he says. “It’s known for being really difficult.”
“How do I play?” You ask, taking the controller. Robin leans over, wrapping an arm behind your back and taking your hands in his as he guides your hands to the correct positioning, fingers lingering over yours for a moment longer than necessary. You feel his breath on your skin as he walks you through the controls, his head over your shoulder and his arms still wrapped around you. +Lust
The two of you play for a little bit. Neither of you are very good, but you have a good time regardless. -Stress -Trauma
You and Robin are about to walk to school together when a car pulls up beside you. You brace yourself for the worst, but the window rolls down to reveal Avery instead. “I thought I recognized you,” he says, smiling warmly. “How about I give you a lift?” He glances dismissively at Robin.”Your little friend can come along, too.” Robin looks at you, clearly nervous.
>Ride with Avery +Robin’s jealousy >Ride with Avery and Robin +??? >Walk with Robin -Love +Lust +Rage -Robin’s jealousy
You try to smile at Robin, but it comes out strained. You hop into the car with Avery. Robin reluctantly follows your lead. You try to act naturally, bringing Robin into the conversation whenever Avery ignores him. Robin seems happy you’re paying attention to him, but still extremely out of place. -Robin’s Jealousy +Robin’s love +Avery’s love -Avery’s Fascination
Avery leaves, and you head to the library. Sydney isn’t there, so you study by yourself until it’s time to go to Science. A group of students pass by you in the halls; they leer at you but don’t say anything.
You reach for your pepper spray but notice your backpack has been taken from you. You glance behind you, and sure enough, a group of students are rifling around your things. You lunge for them, but they toss it to the students across from them, playing keep-away.
Science, math, and English all pass by without incident, for once. You feel yourself begin to relax as you head to the canteen, only to jump when an arm wraps around your shoulders. You turn around. It’s Whitney.
“I’m hungry,” he says. “But I don’t want anything here. Come with us to get a snack.” Your sense of control wavers. Fearful of his intentions, you shove Whitney off of you and try to run, but he grabs your arm. Delinquents pull out their phones and circle around you. You lift the arm he’s holding and swing it to the side, using the created opportunity to elbow him with your unobstructed arm. He staggers and lets go of your arm, nearly falling but just barely managing to regain his balance. You rush to the least populated area of the circle and try to push past the delinquents, but they grab you and push you back in instead.
Whitney is glaring at you from the other side of the ring. He rushes you, and you fail to dodge. He pushes you to the ground, his friends scattering out of reach. You headbutt him on the way down, but he’s got your arms in a tight grip. You struggle against his hold, kicking and squirming under him. Whitney sits over you, straddling your waist and holding your arms in place beside your head. His face is inches from yours, and you can feel his heavy breath on your skin.
You try to bridge him, but he’s too heavy. You’re quickly losing strength, and Whitney can tell your struggles are becoming weaker. “Just give up,” he says. “Or I might have to do something worse.” Your sense of control weakens. He leans down over you, rubbing his penis against your stomach. You freeze, a sense of cold, numbing dread overtaking you as Whitney climbs off of you. He offers a hand to help you up, and you, briefly forgetting your situation, take it.
He pulls you up and into his arms with surprising strength, smirking at you as your noses brush. He releases your hand but still wraps an arm around your waist, keeping you from leaving.
“Can I have my bag back?” You ask, hopefully. Whitney looks over your shoulder at the people rifling through your things. One of them reaches for the side zipper you keep your pepper spray in, and you freeze.
“She’s got pepper spray!” The short boy exclaims.
“Holy shit,” a lithe girl says.
Whitney releases you from his grip on your waist but soon grabs your arm and forces it behind you. You move your left leg around his and plant it on the ground, then you twist yourself away from him until your arm is beside you again. You plant your other foot and lift your left, kicking him in the back of his knee. He falls, but you fall with him. He lets go when you land, and you roll over off of him, quickly standing. You kick him in the groin for good measure and then walk up to the delinquent, holding your backpack and pepper spray. You hold out your hand expectantly and hands it to you stiffly. +Status
You decide to skip lunch and go to the mall instead. You pick up a keychain with a latch and attach your pepper spray to it, hooking it onto your skirt’s belt loop. It took you a while to find the right kind of keychain, and by the time you’re back on campus, it’s already 13:06. +Deliquency
You quickly head into history class, where Winter takes note of your tardiness, and sit next to Robin. He notices your ruffled hair and asks if you’re okay. You smile at him as you take your seat, but he seems unconvinced. You spend the rest of History daydreaming.
When you get to your swimming lesson, you don’t even have to get naked. Your swimsuit is already under your uniform, so all you have to do is take them off. Your injury yesterday has healed well enough to allow you into the pool, too, so you get to improve your swimming grade. It isn’t until after the lesson is over, and you emerge from the pool, dripping wet, that you realize the fatal flaw with your underwear idea.
You have to put clothes on over your wet swimsuit.
Not seeing any other viable option, you put your clothes on over your wet swimsuit. The fabric clings to your body, but it does that anyway. You leave the changing room and head to detention, trying to ignore the stares of your peers as they gawk at your see-through shirt (they can’t even see anything through it, you aren’t sure what they’re staring at.).
Detention only takes ten minutes, so you’re still able to walk home with Robin. He doesn’t say anything, but you catch him taking peeks at your chest every so often. +Love +Lust +Stress
You go to the temple after changing and pick up some pink lichen for your science fair project.
You do need the money…
You think about the last sample of lichen you need and wonder if a £500 prize is worth being molested by ghost tentacles. You wonder if £2,000 is worth being hunted with a vengeance every blood moon.
———————
<Prev Next>
#degrees of lewdity#dol#dol x reader#yandere x you#yandere dol#yandere x reader#kylar the loner#dol kylar#sydney the fallen#dol sydney#sydney the faithful#whitney the bully#dol whitney#robin the orphan#dol robin#bailey the caretaker#leighton the headteacher#leighton the headmaster#avery the businessperson#avery the businessman
293 notes
·
View notes
Text
[5.6k] an attack in the winter break leaves max reeling as he tries to cope with a new and furrier version of himself. the world seems to think mad max is returning to them but your presence says otherwise.
[find other fright night specials here]
.
It had been a completely normal day when Max Verstappen had his whole life changed.
Or as normal as it could be on a cold, wet January day in England during the winter break.
The run up to the season had been weighing down on everyone’s shoulders, last minute tweaks and changes and updates being made in hopes of making a car that will continue to dominate the grid. The factory has been busy, day in and day out. With less than a month until the car launch, it felt like everyone was working themselves to the bone to get the car ready.
Max was no different. Though, it was less about data sheets and car parts for him, and more about practising on the sim until he was beating the previous laps he set. He liked having feedback to give to the team, he liked feeling like he was contributing to the early mornings and late nights. He liked feeling useful to the team.
He ignored most of GP’s warnings about running himself down on the late nights, waving the older man off with a smile and a promise he wouldn’t stay much later. And it was partially true, he didn’t stay too late.
No later than you did.
Because if there was someone equally as determined and dead-set on giving this car everything they had like he was, it was you.
It had become a routine between the two of you on those late nights where you were the only ones left in the factory. Max would finish up at the sim, make his way towards your office on the other side of the factory where he would walk you to your car, chatting your ear off about anything other than engineering and cars and data to help get your mind off work. Even if it was for a few short minutes.
There were some days where the two of you would sit in one of your cars for a bit, to just talk. Other days, one of you was too tired to drag the night out further. It varied but it all fit the norm.
Just like that day.
The flickering street lights accompanied you both as you made your way towards the car park, with Max nodding and laughing along to some story you had been telling him about one of the other engineers. At first, he thought he had imagined the growl—one of those instances that could be brushed off with wind and bushes and the darkness around them that made everything look a bit scarier.
But then he heard it again. And he saw a flash in his peripheral vision. And next thing he knew, a large beast appeared out of thin air and was heading straight towards you and Max’s body reacted with pure instinct and quick reflexes to shove you out of the way before the beast tackled him to the floor.
It was a blur after that.
Hot, searing pain exploding through his body. Blood roaring in his ears. His heart pounding so fast in his chest. The white dots blurring his vision as he tried to turn his head away from the beast. The glimpses of fear and horror on your face before his vision had gone black.
The biggest concern at that moment was whether or not Max would be okay. If he would be able to compete at the start of the season. If he would be able to continue at all. If the public would somehow find out and expose the story before Red Bull could even prepare a statement.
The beast was the last thing on either one of your mind’s that night.
But when Max woke up the next morning, completely unscathed with only his bloody, ripped clothes as a reminder of the previous night. The two of you knew there was more to that beast than a normal animal attack, that you were dealing with something beyond your imagination.
Max Verstappen didn’t expect to go into the next season worrying how in loving fuck he was going to balance being a Formula One driver and being a werewolf.
Despite what critics and idiots behind a phone screen like to think, Formula One was a very physically taxing sport. Max had spent the better part of his whole life giving his body to training and endurance so he could compete at the level he does. Most athletes are more in tune to their bodies and their wants and needs than the average person, and Max was one of them. He knew his body. He knew his limits. He knew strengths. He knew his weaknesses.
That knowledge was completely useless when he became a werewolf.
One attempt at a workout and a dented metal bar later told Max that this whole werewolf thing came with a lot more setbacks than he realised. He understood pretty quickly that this wasn’t something he wanted to get out to the general public. He didn’t know how it would be perceived—hell, he wasn’t even sure how he perceived it.
But someone had to know. He couldn’t hide it for the rest of the season.
In the end, a few select people in his team knew about his lycanthropy and they worked together to keep it hidden from everyone else.
It was a mindfuck working with Rupert to sort out a whole new workout plan, to evaluate his newfound strength and other abilities, to learn his body all over again at the age of twenty-seven. It was weird having to explain to GP, a man who he considered his brother, that he was no longer the man he was before the winter break—that he was hardly a man at all, anymore. It was fucking weird having to look you in the eye and see the conflict of emotions on your face whenever you saw him, whenever you replayed the way he saved you from the same beast that created him.
It was fucking weird.
But he could learn. Resilience and perseverance were two traits Max learnt at a very young age. He didn’t give his whole life to this sport just to throw it away because of his newfound—and unwanted—lifestyle. He refused to let it ruin more than it had. He was a werewolf but that didn’t mean he was going to give everything else up. He would deal with his lycanthropy like he did with other problems in his life—privately and out of the spotlight.
He just failed to realise that something could risk that privacy.
And he failed to realise it would be his own short temper that could possibly expose him.
…
Preseason testing taught the team a lot about the car.
Yet, all Max was learning was that the car was shit, the media were nosy and his patience was nonexistent with every human interaction he had outside of the team garage. He could feel his skin prickle whenever a camera was pointed at him or a microphone was shoved in front of him or his name was called out.
He thought the glare on his face would be enough to keep people away but it was wishful thinking. He was the reigning world champion and he was driving, what was seeming to be, a hopeless car. It was a journalist’s wet dream.
“Your eyes.”
Max clenched his jaw, ripping the balaclava over his head. “I’m not glaring.”
“Not that,” GP hissed, trying to pull Max to the side, away from the cameras peering into the garage. “Your eyes.”
Max huffed. “Stop talking in fucking riddles, mate.”
“They are yellow,” GP whispered frantically. “Like your—“
“Fuck,” Max groaned, snapping his eyes shut as he let out a deep breath. “Fuck, what? Why? It’s not a full moon. It shouldn’t—”
“There’s a lot that shouldn’t happen with you that does,” GP pointed out, feeling the glare from Max behind his closed eyelids. “We need to get you out of here.”
“They will see,” Max replied.
“Put your helmet on.”
“Yeah,” Max snorted. “Because that won’t be fucking obvious.”
GP sighed. “Well—”
“What’s happening?”
Despite not being able to see you, Max still turned his head towards you, almost instinctively. He could feel your hand on his arm, warm and comforting and—
“His eyes look like glow sticks,” GP muttered.
“So he says,” Max bit back, because he was annoyed and pissed off and GP was the easiest target.
“He’s trying to help,” you scolded lightly, your thumb swiping back and forth, almost passively like you didn’t realise what you were doing. “Let me see.”
GP straightened. “That’s risky—”
“Let me see.”
Max let out a shaky breath, slowly blinking his eyes open until you came into focus.
“Blue,” you said with a soft, reassuring smile. “They are blue now.”
Max’s shoulders dropped with relief.
“Get him back to his driver’s room before it happens again,” GP murmured.
Max bristled, a looming realisation that he was essentially being grounded by his race engineer making his skin feel prickly. But he couldn’t disagree, it was already a close call with his eyes flashing in the garage. He didn’t need the cameras catching it either.
“If anyone asks, we will say Helmut lost his mind and made you wear contacts whilst you drive,” you teased, keeping your hand on his arm as you waited for him to grab his things.
Max huffed out a laugh. “I’m sure he will like that.”
“You’ll protect me,” you grinned back at him.
And yeah, Max would.
…
The next close call happened after the season had started.
The car had been improved since the shit show that was the preseason testing weekend, but it wasn’t all that great either. Max knew it was a process, knew the team were reaching the point of getting the car to a truly competitive and dominant state. It just took time and he just needed to be patient.
But patience wasn’t something Max had a lot of these days.
All in all, a podium wasn’t bad with the state of the car currently. However, Max knew that the media would be ready to push back, to insist the reigning world champion should be on the top step and not the third, that he should have all the answers to his own failures.
He could feel it.
He could feel the shift in his gums as his canines pushed through, pushed against the confinement of his helmet. He could feel his heart pounding in his chest. He could hear the crowd booing over the blood roaring in his ears. He felt like the whole world had been dialled up to a hundred the second he stepped out the car after pulling up behind the number three sign.
He could feel it.
He could feel the way his team reached out for him. He could feel their hands patting his back like it didn’t make his whole body tense. He could feel their hands patting his helmet like it didn’t make his head feel like it was spinning. He could feel their hands reaching to hold his neck, to bring him closer, to suffocate him more.
He could feel it. He could feel it. He could—-
“Another trophy to add to the shelf?”
Max’s head snapped around to see you on the other side of the barrier, headset still around your neck and a smile on your face that made the third place feel a little less pathetic.
“Probably hidden in the back,” Max managed to mutter out, somewhat muffled by his helmet and the chaos around you both.
“Surprised you have enough space,” you joked, teasing and lighthearted and so distracting that Max almost didn’t feel the way your hand covered his gloved hands, the way your thumb swiped over the tips of his fingers.
He hadn’t even noticed his claws retracting, hadn’t even noticed them ripping through the material of the gloves in the first place.
“Oh,” was all he could say.
“I’ll take care of it,” you assured him, not risking any more with so many people and cameras and microphones. “Go enjoy the podium.”
“You’re gonna stay here?” Max asked, something in his chest twisting at the idea you would have to run off back to the garage, to the screens and data sheets and computers and away from him.
“I always do.”
…
It took a few months into the season before a race weekend aligned with a full moon.
Truthfully, it hadn’t even been a risk that Max considered which, in hindsight, was probably pretty stupid. It should have been one of the first things on his mind the second he realised what he was. It should have been a top priority after his first full moon, somewhere in late January—a night full of pain and discomfort, an experience Max didn’t want to repeat but knew he would have to.
Ignorance was bliss and all that jazz.
Yet, it was the Canadian Grand Prix where Max found himself battling more than just the championship that weekend.
He was lucky enough that it wasn’t a night race but that didn’t change the fact he was snappy all weekend, more so than usual. He was irritant and annoyed and perpetually fighting the growing pain through the weekend as it got closer to the full moon on Sunday night.
GP asked if it was safe for him to even race in this state.
Max, honest to god, snapped his teeth at the older man in response.
It was tense and suffocating in the Red Bull garage.
No one seemed to question Max’s awful mood any more than it was expected. A few people poked and prodded but the gritted, sharpy responses they received in response was enough to make most people back off. It was being played off as jet lag, a bad quali session and a grid penalty that didn’t feel all that deserved.
Max was adamant he could race and deal with the full moon. He wasn’t going to let it ruin his career, the sport that he loved and adored and had given his life to. He wasn’t going to let it get the better of him, even if that meant just being snappier than usual to the media.
And despite GP and Rupert’s concerns, Max was coping well.
Until lap 57 happened.
“WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH HIM?!”
“Max, stay calm.”
“I’M FUCKING LAPPING HIM! IS HE FUCKING STUPID?”
“Max,” GP tried again but his voice was a muffled buzzing in his ears, hardly coherent over the anger and adrenaline and rage rushing through him. His body was acting on muscle memory alone as his car dragged on, as it crawled into the pits before he rushed back out.
He refused to listen to GP telling him to retire the car.
He refused to let that fucker in the Alpine think he could fuck his race and get away with it.
He refused—
“He’s growling,” GP hissed, hand covering the microphone and his voice dropping as he leaned over to where you sat on the pit wall beside him. His lips barely moved, not with the way the cameras were laser-focused on him and his reaction to Max disobeying the orders that were broadcasted to everyone watching.
“Fuck,” you muttered, pulling your headset off and reaching for his. “Hand it over.”
GP frowned. “I don’t think this is going to work—”
“Trust me,” you insisted.
Conflicting emotions swirled in his eyes before he ripped his headset off, muttering something under his breath before he handed it to you.
“—FUCKING DICKHEAD JUST—”
“Max?”
There were a few moments of silence and, for a brief moment, you wondered if the connection had cut. You wondered if he had somehow disconnected the radio from his side, you almost turned to ask GP if it was possible to do before you heard his heavy breathing.
“I know you’re upset,” you continued, taking the chance and hoping he was listening. “It was a bad move. But you’re a good driver, a great one even. You can save this race. I know you can. Focus on the racing, not the rest.”
Your words were careful and precise, painfully aware that the radio messages were probably being broadcasted. You knew whatever you said would be picked apart by the media and public, dissected under a microscope. But despite your caution, your only focus was making sure Max was okay.
“Breathe and win,” you said, your eyes watching the racing feed on the screen in front of you. “I know you can.”
It was completely silent beyond the sounds of the car until—
“I can. I will.”
You bit back your smile. “Good. I want to see you on the top step, Verstappen.”
He did, in fact, go on to win the race. The celebration with the team was postponed as he spent the night in aggravating, uncomfortable pain—alone, suffering, excruciating. He refused to let any of you stay with him, to see him in that state, just like he did every full moon since the attack.
But he still won and that was something nobody could take away from him.
...
Despite his success in Canada, it was clear the outbursts and frequent accidental exposures of his wolf were becoming a problem.
It was something he needed to get better at controlling if he wanted to continue the way he was, if he wanted to keep his lycanthropy away from the greedy hands of the journalists. This was his life now, it was something he had to accept and learn and grow with.
It was just a little hard to do when he didn’t know how.
“This is stupid.”
Rupert sighed, ignoring the glare Max was currently staring into the side of his head as he continued to hook the heart monitor onto him. “It is no different to when we do this for your training.”
“Except this time you are purposefully pissing me off instead of torturing me,” Max bit back.
“We want to help,” GP corrected, leaning against the wall opposite of him. “You need to learn how to control the wolf side of you.”
Max scoffed. “Maybe people should stop being stupid then.”
“Yeah, good luck with that,” GP snorted before getting a nod of confirmation from Rupert that they were ready to go. “Okay. We are going to start easy, alright?”
Max nodded.
GP glanced down at the laptop in front of Rupert that had Max’s current heart rate showing before looking back at the driver. “Following the incident with Pierre Gasly in the Canadian Grand Prix, do you think you should be more careful when lapping cars?”
Max let out a noise of disagreement. “What the fuck? Why should I be careful? It’s not my fault he is slow!”
“I’m sure the PR team will love that response,” GP deadpanned, watching as Max’s heart rate started to speed up. “The stewards deemed it a racing incident.”
“And the stewards are fucking stupid,” Max snapped back. “I was lapping him. I had priority. Everyone knows that. It’s their job to know that too.”
The heart rate continued to increase and GP could have sworn he saw a flash of yellow in Max’s eyes.
“Max, control it,” Rupert reminded him.
“I’m trying,” he gritted out.
“They are going to keep poking, Max,” GP continued. “They did it before and they will do it again. They will push and push and push until they get the reaction they want, the one that fits their agenda.”
Max growled in response.
“I know you’ve seen it already,” GP said, listening to the beeps of the heart monitor get faster and faster. “Mad Max is back. He is unpredictable. Unhinged. That’s the story they want and that’s the one you are giving them.”
Max’s breaths were getting heavier. “They don’t know—”
“Exactly, they don’t know,” GP pointed out. “And we don’t want them to know so you have to learn how to control it before you wolf out on them. Before you let them win.”
His eyes were bright and glowing and yellow, a flash of sharp teeth under his curling lip as he growled and snarled and—
“I’m here! I’m here! Sorry, I’m late, I was getting coffee. Did we start yet?”
It was like a flip had switched.
GP and Rupert watched the scene in front of them like it happened in slow motion. The way Max seemed to perk up at the sound of your voice. The way the glowing eyes and sharp teeth seemed to slowly morph back to the Max they knew. The way the rage and anger and frustration was nowhere to be seen by the time you walked into the room, a tray of coffee and a bag of pastries in each hand.
You stood there, watching the three of them stare at you with mixed expressions. “What? What did I miss?”
“Interesting,” GP commented. “Very, very interesting.”
…
“You like her.”
Max let out a string of curse words, almost knocking the mugs of hot water over before he put the kettle down and turned to face his race engineer with wide eyes. Heightened senses aside, he didn’t hear GP sneaking into the kitchen. Or even realise he had been watching Max mutter away to himself for the last five minutes.
“Fucking hell, mate,” Max grumbled, placing a hand on his chest. “Don’t sneak up on me like that.”
“And don’t change the topic,” GP retorted with a knowing look. “You like her, don’t you?”
Max hated the way he could feel the tips of his ears start to burn. “Like who?”
GP raised his brows in response.
Max deflated, his shoulders dropping. “Look, I know what you’re going to say—”
“I think she’s good for you,” GP interrupted.
Max blinked. “Okay, maybe I didn’t know what you were going to say.”
“She’s your anchor,” GP noted, his lips twitching upwards. “I had my suspicions but today confirmed it.”
“Anchor?” Max repeated with a frown. “Mate, is that not a news thing? She’s an engineer—”
“No, I—” GP let out a deep sigh, muttering something under his breath. “God give me strength. I mean that she helps ground you, helps you differentiate Human Max and Wolf Max.”
“Oh,” was all Max managed to mutter out.
“She’s good for you,” GP repeated with a soft smile. “And she understands you. Maybe if you tell her, we can work something out and—”
“No.”
He frowned. “No?”
“No,” Max repeated, blunt as ever. “I’m not telling her anything and neither will you.”
GP’s frown deepened. “Max—”
“No, you don’t get it. She…” The boy trailed off, swallowing harshly as he tried to voice his thoughts. “You didn’t see what happened that night.”
“Max—”
“I saved her,” Max stated. “I saved her and she’s only here because she probably feels guilty. I…I don’t want to tell her and make her feel like she has to feel the same because I almost died or something.”
“You liked her before,” GP pointed out. “Is it so hard to believe that maybe she felt the same? That she cared about you way before you jumped in front of a werewolf for her?”
Max clenched his jaw. “Drop it. I’m not telling her and neither are you.”
GP sighed but he knew it was pointless to fight the stubborn boy over it.
“And she doesn’t find out about this anchor nonsense,” Max added, turning around and busying himself with the mugs on the counter. “We’ll find another way.”
…
GP’s words about you being his anchor rung on a loop inside his head as the next race weekend approached.
The Spanish Grand Prix was always quite a hectic one on the schedule. The fans were wild and passionate. There was usually more of a buzz around the world championship by this point, an insight into a real fight after nine races. And it brought back good memories, wanted memories of his first ever race win.
It was a reminder why he was here, why he kept coming back every weekend. He wanted to race and he wanted to win and he wanted to be successful. He wasn’t going to let the lycanthropy stop him.
And even if he would never admit it, GP was right.
You were his anchor, you calmed the angry, rapid wolf inside him. It was like everything he felt around you when he was human was amplified. He felt seen, accepted. You took him for how he was, not how you wanted or expected him to be.
You saw Max—not the racing driver or the face of F1’s current dominance.
You just saw him.
It was hard to feel anything but relaxed and calm around you, to know that his words weren’t going to be overanalysed or thrown back in his face.
“You ready for this race?”
Max gripped his helmet a little tighter, fighting the urge to lean back against your touch as he felt your palm between his shoulder blades. He turned to look at you, smiling a little at the clear concern on your face. Like you were prepared to find a way to postpone the whole race if he said no.
“The car’s been good all weekend,” Max replied, biting back his laugh when you rolled your eyes.
“I wasn’t talking about the car,” you grumbled, scoffing. “Obviously the car is good. I was working on it.”
He beamed. “I’m good. Promise.”
“You gonna win?”
“For you? Always.”
Max took deep satisfaction in the way your heart skipped a beat at his words.
“I’ll be happy whatever you end up,” you told him earnestly, your hand squeezing his shoulder and he had the oddest urge to keep your hand there, to place his own over yours.
Max swallowed harshly. “But you deserve a podium so that’s what I’m gonna get you.”
You laughed, the sound easing something in his chest. “You’re cute when you’re cocky.”
He barely got a chance to process your response as you headed towards the pitwall, prepared for the race ahead and leaving the boy glued to his spot, blushing like mad.
For what it’s worth, he did win the race.
…
Things were going smoothly until the British Grand Prix.
Max had been able to keep the wolf inside him subdued and relaxed through the first two races of the triple header. He was racing well, he was being polite to the media, he was acting like the Max before the accident.
And despite his history and previous experiences at Silverstone and the ever loyal British fans, he didn’t think things would be all that different this year. He would maybe get booed, maybe have a few more probing questions. But nothing more than that.
Nothing quite like this.
It was Friday when it happened.
Max thought the worst of the weekend—media day—had been put behind him. He was ready to get back in the car, he was ready to make the triple header a three-for-three and win Silverstone. He was ready for a somewhat normal race weekend, one where the focus would be on the five Brits on the grid rather than him (especially with it being Ollie’s rookie season).
Sometimes, he forgot just how passionate fans could be. He forgot just how insane they could be too.
The whole thing felt like it happened in slow motion.
He was a few steps behind you and GP and Rupert, taking a moment to sign merch and take pictures with fans who had been waiting for hours. He assumed the group of you had made your way into the paddock, already heading towards the Red Bull motorhome.
He hadn’t expected for the hair on the back of his neck to stand up, to feel his whole body react before his brain had. His head whipped around at the exact moment he saw the crazed fan reaching towards you. His body was moving as he watched the scene unfold, as they reached for the collar of your shirt and pulled, as their lips moved to mutter something about Red Bull and whatever nonsense they thought justified their attack.
And before anyone could even react, Max was already shoving himself between you and the fan and ripping their hand away from you. He could feel his heart pounding, his body shaking, the telltale pain in his gums of his canines begging to push through. He could feel himself lose control as the anger and fear of seeing you hurt took over him.
“Back. The. Fuck. Off.”
The fan’s eyes widened, something quite like surprise and terror written across their face as they staggered back. Max had half the mind to wonder if his eyes were glowing yellow, if his face was starting to transform, if the crazed fan was starting to see the monster Max truly was.
“Max.”
An honest to god growl escaped his lips until he felt warm hands wrapping around his biceps, until he felt someone pulling his body away from the fan and away from the crowd.
“We need to get him out of here.”
It felt like he had blacked out. One moment he was staring at the crazy fan, contemplating letting his wolf take over, to give into the anger and rage coursing through him. And the next he was in his driver room, his name being called on repeat and warm hands cupping his face as he slowly blinked back into reality.
“There he is,” you smiled, your voice a soft whisper as you kneeled in front of him.
“I–” Max started but he couldn’t get his words out. He couldn’t say what he wanted to say, not with his heart still pounding, not with the wolf inside him howling and whining and begging to check that you weren’t hurt.
“I’m okay, I’m okay,” you repeated like you could see inside his head, like you could hear the panic in his wolf’s howl. “Max, look at me. I promise I’m okay. You stopped anything from happening.”
He tried to take a deep breath but it was staggered and wheezy.
“I’m okay,” you continued to repeat, dropping one hand from his face to take his hand in yours and intertwine your fingers together.
Max’s eyes flashed yellow once more before he clenched them shut, urging himself to calm down, to relax, to control his wolf again. And after weeks of being on top of his lycanthropy, it felt a bit pathetic that he sat there for god-knows how long, not trusting himself to lift his head and look at you until he felt human again.
“M’sorry,” he managed to rasp out.
“Don’t apologise,” you murmured, quick to give his hand a reassuring squeeze. “Please never apologise for being you.”
Max let out a bitter laugh. “That wasn’t me—”
“Max,” you started but he shook his head.
“Did anyone see?”
You took a few moments before responding. “No. Other than the fan but I don’t think they really knew what was happening. I don’t think any of the camera angles caught it either but GP is making sure the media team are ahead of that.”
“Good,” he managed to mutter, swallowing harshly. “We don’t need anyone else seeing what a monster I am.”
“Max,” and the way you said his name sounded absolutely broken. “You’re not a monster.”
His lips twitched upwards, almost self-deprecatingly. “You don’t have to lie—”
“I’m not lying,” you said, a little more insistent this time as you lifted his head up to meet your gaze. “You’re not a monster, Max.”
His chest tightened. “You’re just saying that because I saved you.”
“No,” you shook your head. “I’m saying that because it’s what I truly believe. You are the furthest thing from a monster I have ever met.”
Max could feel his voice waver as he spoke. “Not anymore. What I am now is—”
“Beautiful,” you whispered, smiling softly as your thumb swiped over the apple of his cheek. “Just as you’ve always been. Just as I’ve always thought you were.”
Max couldn’t quite find the words to respond.
“You saved me. And despite having every right to blame me for what you are now, what you’re having to suffer through every full moon, you don’t,” you continued. “Where most people would give up, you fought back. You took your life back. You’ve made it work, Max. Do you realise how fucking brilliant you are? You had to learn your whole body again and you’re still winning races like nothing changed.”
Max let out a shaky breath. “I’d do it again.”
“What?”
“Even knowing what happened, knowing what was going to happen to me,” Max spoke, keeping his eyes on you, keeping his ears focused on your heartbeat. “I would push you out the way. I would jump in front of that wolf all over again.”
Max wasn’t sure how you would respond but he hadn’t expected you to grab his face in your hands and kiss him. The tight feeling in his chest melted away the second he felt your lips on his, the second he was able to get his hands on you and pull you closer. He would’ve been embarrassed at the pleased rumble in his chest if it weren’t for the fact he was too happy to care.
“I’ll make you see how beautiful that ‘monster’ in you really is,” you whispered against his lips, your nose lightly nudging against his. “No matter how long it takes.”
Max was sure that he still had a long way to go and a lot more to learn before he could ever say he felt fully normal again. But the idea of facing the road ahead with you by his side felt easier than tackling it alone.
He may still be Mad Max to everyone else but he was just Max to you.
And if he was being honest, the opinion of his anchor was the only one he really cared about.
.
#cece's halloween fright nights#max verstappen#formula one#f1#max verstappen x reader#max verstappen x you#max verstappen x y/n#max verstappen fic#max verstappen one shot#formula one x reader#formula one x you#formula one x y/n#formula one fic#formula one one shot#f1 x reader#f1 x you#f1 x y/n#f1 fic#f1 one shot
313 notes
·
View notes
Text
Calculated Risks
Pairing: Soldier Boy/Ben x F. Reader
Summary: You and Ben argue about your commitment to being a working mom. When a rogue supe gets loose at Supe Affairs, mayhem ensues, putting not only your life at risk, but your daughter’s as well.
AN: Welcome back to the BMD-verse, friends! Did you miss these two as much as I did? Plus, get ready for a heavy dose of fan-favorite Frank. (And Lila, of course!)
Word Count: 7K
Tags/Warnings: Familiar bickering, a mission gone awry, angst, hurt/comfort, fluff.
Catch up on the BMD-verse. ⤵️
💚 Break Me Down Masterlist
In four years of marriage, one thing that had never changed between you and Ben was this.
“All right, you’re being a little too much right now,” you said in irritation. “Of course I’m not sitting this one out. I’m the one who found us the damn lead in the first place.”
The man was following you from the adjoining bathroom and back into your shared bedroom, where you began getting dressed for work in the blouse and pencil skirt you’d laid out for yourself.
Your husband had already donned his supe suit, sans helmet. He stood just behind you with his arms crossed, a familiar surly frown on his face. When you turned around, he hadn’t moved an inch.
“I’m being too much? You’re the one who’s not being fucking reasonable,” he said.
You rolled your eyes and moved past him to find your shoes. For this skirt, you really needed heels. Your most comfortable black pumps would do. You grabbed the closet doorknob for balance as you slipped them on, giving him a look of exasperation.
Ben held firm on his stance, but inside, he had a feeling you’d chosen this outfit on purpose. You knew he liked this whole sexcretary look on you, with your hair let down around your shoulders. The skirt and heels just brought his eyes to the delectable curve of your ass.
But again, he was holding firm.
He’d been called in on this case partly because Annie was on maternity leave. She was due in just a few weeks. Which meant “Soldier Boy” was definitely needed to help out Butcher and his merry band of assholes. By now, Ben had gotten used to them.
“Look,” you said, “Slingshot has been causing a lot of havoc, and the police haven’t been able to catch him. You heard Grace. This is an ‘all hands on deck’ situation.”
“She always says that shit. Doesn’t make it true,” Ben retorted.
“This time it is,” you said. “I’ve already put in tons of man hours on surveillance for this guy. I want to get him off the street.”
Ben held you by your arms. “That’s exactly my point. You’ve been putting in way too many hours.”
You shook your head. He just didn’t get it.
“If I hadn’t, we wouldn’t have this opening now,” you said. You gave him a smile to try and lighten him. “Now he’s all teed up for you and the guys. This should be in and out. Practically a milk run for you.”
“Yeah, but not for you,” he pointed out. “And not for Lila. You’re stretching yourself too damn thin. It’s not like we need the money.”
Ahh, now we get to it, you thought. Yet again, he was bringing this up. In his mind, you should’ve cut your hours at Supe Affairs after Lila was born.
You did take an extended maternity leave of an entire year and a half, which was much more than women usually got from their jobs. However, because of your relationship with Grace and the entire team, you’d been allowed to come back whenever you felt ready.
Ben had often felt it necessary to point out that with his money, you didn’t have to work at all.
He knew very well that for you, this work was more than a job.
“I’m not the first working mom in existence, Ben,” you said, pushing out of his hold. “And I’ll remind you that Supe Affairs has a great daycare program. Lila’s very happy there.”
Plus, she was almost three and a half years old. In less than a year, Lila would be off to preschool.
“And look, it’s not about the money,” you added. “I told you before Lila was born. I am a mother, and I’m your wife. But I’m still me.”
Ben processed that for a moment, meeting your gaze.
“The situation’s changed,” he replied. He grasped your hips this time. His thumb gently brushed over your belly, which had a small bump under your high-waisted skirt.
You were finally pregnant again. Three months, in fact, and you were having a boy. You knew that Ben had several reasons to be more protective than usual…but still. You thought you were already taking every precaution to keep you and your children safe, even with the occasionally extensive hours of your job.
“These cases can be long and difficult, not to mention dangerous,” said Ben. His green eyes met yours as he looked down at you through furrowed brows. “You’re putting yourself at risk.”
You blew out a breath and tried to placate him, soothing a hand over his chest.
“I’ve stopped doing field missions,” you pointed out. “And Supe Affairs is the most secure building in the city. Do you think I would bring Lila there if it wasn’t?”
The security team at the S.A. was bar none, not only because Loco was a part of that team. Frank was also your personal bodyguard; Ben hired him back when you found out you were pregnant with Lila.
In fact, Frank was coming to the house in a few minutes to pick you all up.
Ben frowned. “I think you’re being stubborn just to be fucking stubborn.”
That sparked at your temper. Again, you withdrew from his arms and crossed yours.
“I think you need to face the fact that I’m protected as well as I can be,” you said. “I also think that you’re trying to use this as a way to shoehorn me into some antiquated idea of what you still think a wife should be. I’m gonna tell you right now. That’s not me! It’s never been me. And you know that.”
He opened his mouth to give an angry retort, but you beat him to it.
“It’s like you don’t even care about what I want,” you snapped. “Just what you think is right—for me to be here waiting for you to come home, quite literally barefoot and pregnant, ready to rub your balls!”
Cliché as it might’ve been to say, if the shoe fit, then you were certainly not going to be the one to wear it.
“You know what, you can accuse me of being stuck in the fucking past all you want,” Ben said, raising a finger, as well as his voice. “But the problem here isn’t me. It’s that what you want is goddamn idiotic!”
Your mouth fell agape. “Excuse me?! I can’t even believe you right now!”
Ben fairly loomed above you when he shouted back.
“Well, that makes fucking two of us!”
His voice was loud enough to reverberate on the walls. You even flinched, but you held your ground with a glare…
Until you heard a whimper.
You and Ben paused, and turned to find Lila. The three-year-old was cowering a bit in the doorway to your bedroom. Her eyes welled up with tears, and she began to cry.
Your heart broke.
“Oh, honey,” you breathed. You were both apologetic and mortified as you quickly went to her.
Ben was close behind you, but while Lila was quick to melt into your arms when you picked her up, she shied away from his attempt to reach out to her. What would’ve been a placating hand on her head, turned into him pausing in surprise when she ducked.
“Lila?” he prodded.
He tried to mask how put out he was by his daughter hiding her face from him, burrowing into your neck instead. She was usually a daddy’s girl, through and through.
You shot him a knowing frown, while rubbing her back in comfort.
“It’s okay, baby,” you told her. “Your dad and I were just…talking. He didn’t mean to shout.”
When Lila only whimpered in response, Ben’s gaze dimmed in understanding. His lips pursed.
You saw that look on his face, and you wanted to sigh. Part of you felt bad for him, at the way Lila had flinched away from her father. In a way though, maybe it was a lesson he needed to learn.
Frank arrived a few minutes later in a black SUV, like he did every weekday morning to bring you all to work. Ben was quiet and taciturn climbing into the backseat on one side, and you clipped Lila into her car seat from the other side. He still made sure that she was strapped in correctly, and even tried to earn his daughter’s gaze.
She snuck a glance at him a couple of times, but quickly lowered it to play with one of her favorite stuffed animal toys (a little German shepherd that he had gotten for her).
Ben let out a long breath through his nose. He gave Frank a nod through the rearview mirror, and the other man peeled away from the house.
The four of you rode in silence away from your house in Scarsdale, towards New York City.
Ben’s mood remained grim, even when you all got to Supe Affairs. Frank held back while you and Ben stopped in the hallway with Lila. You were carrying her, and she was holding onto you and her stuffed animal like a lifeline instead of looking anywhere else—namely at Ben.
You sighed and tried to pull her back enough to see her face.
“Daddy’s gotta go to work now. Want to say goodbye?” you encouraged.
All Lila could manage was a shy look in his direction. Ben laid a gentle hand on her head, over her dark hair.
“Bye, sweetheart,” he said.
Lila didn’t answer him. She just bit her lip and stayed withdrawn.
You and Ben shared a glance. He was hiding it well behind his usual stoicism, but this was hurting him. There wasn’t much either of you could do about it now, however. You both had work to do, and the mission would have to come first.
“I’ll be online in a bit,” you told him.
First, you needed to take Lila up to daycare before Frank accompanied you to your office. There you’d be able to join the mission from your computer and put your headset on. Aside from surveillance, you were their virtual eyes on missions.
So Ben tacitly agreed, and the two of you parted ways.
You went up to the second floor to drop Lila off at daycare, where you set her onto her feet. You could see that she was quiet and almost sad, not as bright and talkative as usual. And she was clinging to your hand. You bent down the best you could in your skirt, so you could meet her eyes.
“Are you still upset with your dad?” you asked.
After a moment, Lila replied, “Daddy’s loud.”
You couldn’t help a rueful smile.
“Yeah, he can be,” you nodded. “But he’s gonna work on that, okay? He loves you very much.”
She finally smiled a little when you pressed a few sweet kisses to her cheeks. You felt a little better about leaving her with Sarah, the woman who ran the daycare center. She was kind, but well-organized, and good at her job of wrangling fifteen or so toddlers on a daily basis.
And she was hovering off to the side with a smile, waiting to shepherd Lila over to where the rest of the group were starting at the arts and crafts table.
“Okay, baby. I love you. I’m just downstairs if you need me,” you said, caressing Lila’s cheeks, brushing her hair away from her face.
She nodded and waved goodbye. Sarah then stepped in and guided the girl over to the crafts table. The other kids were already drawing and coloring with crayons and markers.
With a sigh, you knew you had to get to work. You joined Frank out in the hall.
“Did something happen this morning?” he asked. You gave him a weary look.
“Something always happens. I’ll fill you in when we hit the elevator,” you said.
“Kids are resilient. She’ll bounce back,” said Frank, when you two got off the elevator down to the basement, under the first floor. This was where the “heavy stuff” happened at the S.A.
“That’s not the point, Frank. He hasn’t snapped at me like that in a long time, and he really scared her. That’s not fucking okay,” you said. “He needs to learn to control his goddamn temper.”
He sent you a knowing glance. You rolled your eyes.
“Okay, I know I don’t always help. But in this case, I was justified,” you said. “Ben was being an ass.”
“Right,” Frank nodded. “It’s not at all that he’s worried about you.”
You narrowed your eyes at him. “Whose side are you on?”
The man remained silent, but his stoic face wasn’t fooling you. He’d been your friend for much too long, and he knew Ben just as well…which was why you found yourself reconsidering what happened this morning.
“You really think he has a point?” you asked. “Am I working too much?”
Frank shook his head and opened the door for you into the Surveillance Department. The two of you ventured to your office, where your quadruple monitor setup was waiting for you. He also had a desk for himself, since he often spent the long hours of your day with you.
“When you were pregnant with Lila, you were on maternity leave by now,” he pointed out.
“Because we had no idea what was going to happen,” you countered. You went to your desk and started up your computer. “I had to meet with Tonya once a week, ultrasounds and blood tests all the time, making sure Lila was healthy, that I was healthy. This time around, we have a better idea of what to expect.”
For example, you were experiencing bouts of super strength once again, but it was still intermittent. Although, you pretty much never needed coffee. Maybe the supe genes coursing through your system, thanks to your unborn son, was part of the reason why you’d been able to go such long hours for these cases.
He's already brightening up my life, you thought with a little smile, holding a hand over your lower belly.
“It’s your choice,” Frank said at last. “But it is possible that Ben cares about more than just making you a suburban housewife.”
At that, you sighed. There was nothing wrong with being a housewife, you knew. It just wasn’t…you.
Once your computer and monitors were booted up, you connected to the right channels and put on your headset.
Already you could hear M.M. bitching about keeping the weapons trunk organized, not just tossing things in haphazardly.
“It’s a simple fucking system, Frenchie. You can at least abide by it,” M.M. said. “We don’t have time to be scratching our asses while you try to find a—”
“Hey, Bert and Ernie. Would you shut the fuck up already?” Ben groused.
Your mouth twitched at his grumpiness.
“A little testy this morning, ey guv?” Butcher remarked.
“Gargle my ball sack,” Ben replied, with an even grouchier deadpan than usual.
“Do you kiss your child with that mouth?” Frenchie teased.
“Nah, just your mother’s French hole,” Ben slung back. You rolled your eyes.
“All right, all right. Put the measuring tapes away,” you interrupted. “I’m online, locked on your GPS.”
“Well, if it ain’t Mrs. America herself,” Butcher drawled. “Got a lock on Slingshot’s location for us?”
“You know it,” you replied. “Sending to the group chat now. Slingshot’s been spotted entering a strip club in Chinatown.”
“Jeez. A little early for tits and booze. It’s 10:00 a.m. on a Tuesday,” said Hughie.
You heard Ben huff in amusement. “It’s never too early.”
You snorted at that.
“Right. I’ll remember that next time you fall asleep watching Family Feud,” you clipped back.
You heard the other guys trying not to laugh as they got into Butcher’s van. Part of you felt bad for teasing Ben, knowing he was already in a bad mood, but you were feeling a bit petty about what happened this morning.
You had to bite your lip against a smile, as you could picture the ill-tempered face your man was likely sporting.
And we’re off.
Lila wasn’t having a good day.
She didn’t feel like coloring, and the toys just weren’t fun today.
She just didn’t want to be here. The other kids smelled like old Cheetos and feet (especially the boys).
She missed you. And though she hadn’t wanted to admit it to you, she missed Daddy too.
Lila wanted to go home…she wanted her mom.
“I’m just downstairs if you need me,” you’d said.
Lila had a kind of plan percolating in her mind, all through the morning, and even through lunch time. She didn’t want to get in trouble, but when she’d asked Miss Sarah if she could go see you, she’d said you were at work and couldn’t come get Lila until later.
But that’s not what Mommy said, Lila thought.
After lunch, she laid on the napping mat with her pillow and blanket, even though she was wide awake. She didn’t want to nap with the other kids, even though Miss Sarah told her it was time to sleep.
Again, Lila didn’t want to be bad. She didn’t want to get in trouble either, but she really, really just wanted to see you.
And you’d said it was okay to go downstairs if she needed you, right?
Lila closed her eyes while Miss Sarah was looking, but she waited until the teacher went into her office to answer a call. Then, Lila carefully put Charlie, her stuffed dog, against her pillow, tucking the blanket up to his neck.
She crawled off her mat and snuck over to the door while Miss Sarah was distracted on her phone. Lila reached up and was just tall enough to twist the doorknob. It led her out of the room, and out into the empty hall. She then looked both ways for a clue on where to go.
She heard a ding, and looked over at a nearby pair of elevators.
The mission went more or less according to plan. Slingshot’s abilities allowed him to stretch every part of his body like elastic. It not only made him hard to catch, but even harder to maim without collateral damage.
A whole block in Chinatown was wrecked in the takedown, but your idea of ripping the cables from a nearby utility pole to electrocute him let Ben finally subdue the elastic supe. Kimiko knocked him out, and Butcher slapped some tight-ass cuffs on him and dragged him into the van. They returned with the rogue supe in custody.
You were mentally exhausted from helping them track down routes to pin down Slingshot, but you were relieved to be done. You were also satisfied that another danger to society was neutralized, for now.
You took pride in your work, and you didn’t think Ben saw that, or thought it was important. You supposed that was what upset you the most about that fight with him.
Sometimes, you wondered if he would ever truly change.
You grabbed your purse and made sure to slip in your gun and taser. You left your office and greeted Frank, who had just finished making his rounds in the building with Loco’s team. Frank joined you on the way to the elevator.
“I meant to ask you, how’s Alana doing?” you asked. Alana was his daughter, who was now in college.
“She’s changed her major yet again,” he said wryly. “This time to philosophy.”
“Philosophy? That’s interesting. What does she want to do with that?” you asked.
“No fucking clue,” he replied, hitting the button for the first floor. “I just hope she gets bored and picks something practical. Like…teaching, or dentistry.”
You shot him a bemused look. “Dentistry?”
“As much money as I put into that girl’s braces, it’d be good for her to pay it forward,” Frank said, in a surly tone that reminded you of Ben. You had to laugh.
You and Frank exited the elevator and started down the hall.
You planned to touch base with Grace Mallory on the safety measures of Slingshot’s containment before he was put into custody. The idea was to house him in a prison cell that could actually hold him until he went through the legal process.
But you’d only gotten halfway down the hall before the supe in question literally stretched past you on unnaturally long legs—in a blur of his white and blue supe suit. Your eyes widened on a gasp as you watched him head toward the elevator you’d just come off of.
“Fuckin’ hell, we’ve got a runner!” Butcher shouted from down the hall. He along with Ben, M.M., Frenchie, Hughie, and Kimiko were rushing your way.
It all happened so fast.
You registered Frank shooting out a protective arm in front of you. You turned back to see the elevator doors had opened back up, and Slingshot rushed inside. He made eye contact with you.
Then his arms shot out like rubber bands. One of them knocked Frank into the far wall. You gasped and froze on reflex.
Ben shouted your name; he was running towards you, getting closer. You were able to meet his wide eyes for a brief moment. He reached out for you, but those stretching arms closed around you first. You gasped when they slung you backwards.
You cried out in shock when your back met a surprisingly solid chest.
Meanwhile, Ben barreled the rest of the way down the hall as the elevators closed just short of his angrily furrowed face.
The stretched arms holding you were tight around your torso, making your grit your teeth as you tried to pull away. They twisted you around so you could face your captor. Or so he could see you.
His natural height was around Butcher’s—dark hair, blue eyes, angular features. He gave you what was probably meant to be a suave smile as those baby blues dragged down your body.
“Hey, baby. Nice heels,” he said. You rolled your eyes.
“So that’s why they call you Slingshot,” you said, still a bit breathless. The elevator started to move. He’d chosen the top floor. “Where do you think you’re gonna go?”
“Isn’t it obvious?” he snarked. “Anywhere but here. And you’re gonna help me.”
“How? Being a human shield?”
“For a start,” he smirked down at you. He backed up a step just to take another proper look at you, and he whistled lowly. He took your chin between his sweaty fingers, making you grimace when he stroked your cheek.
“Down boy,” you said warily. “Trust me, you really don’t want to do this.”
This jackass hadn’t even realized you had a small, but noticeable baby bump.
“Why not, babe?” he grinned. “You’ve got the whole sexy librarian thing going on.”
You heard a loud creaking sound outside the elevator doors. The compartment itself came to an abrupt stop, making the lights flicker.
“What the fuck?” Slingshot muttered. His hold around you loosened.
You had an idea of what just happened, with grim satisfaction. You also took advantage of his distraction and managed to slip a hand into your purse.
You pulled out your taser. Slingshot noticed and tried to grab you again, but the elevator somehow started to move in reverse, about a foot a time. It made both of you lose your balance and utter sounds of surprise.
As soon as you regained your footing, you aimed the taser at the most sensitive place you could think of—the supe’s dick and balls.
His howls of pain were loud enough to reach Ben, Frank, and the rest of the team on the third floor. Ben’s face became edged with a smirk.
He kept pulling the elevator cables down until the compartment’s doors were in reach. There he grabbed the doors and pulled them open with his bare hands, crunching metal under his fingers. The moment he saw you, the relief in your eyes, he grabbed your hand and pulled you out, into his arms.
Slingshot was angry, though he managed to recover, rip off the taser’s metal prongs and wires, and evade Kimiko, M.M., and even Butcher when he slithered his way out of the elevator and around their guns. The bullets ricocheted off the walls, and off his body as they followed him down the hall.
Ben focused on you. He brushed his half-gloved hands over your shoulders and sides while he quickly looked you over. There was worry in his eyes, disguised as anger. You caught your breath and held a protective hand over your lower belly out of reflex.
“You okay?” he said, but you were already nodding before he asked.
“I’m fine,” you replied. “Just get him. I’ll get Lila.”
Ben nodded. He shot one last firm look at Frank, who was back at your side. Frank laid a hand on your shoulder as Ben took off down the hall to find Slingshot.
“The stairs are safer at this point,” Frank said.
“I would have to agree,” you said, steeling yourself with a breath.
While you and Frank went downstairs to the second floor, you didn’t see the second elevator ding, its doors opening to your daughter, who ambled out alone. She looked one way down the hall, but hearing her father’s voice carrying down the opposite way, she started venturing in that direction.
If she couldn’t find you, then she’d find her dad.
“What the hell do you mean you lost her?” you shouted at Sarah, the woman who was supposed to be looking after your daughter. “How do you lose a three-year-old at nap time? What kind of incompetent fuck are you?”
Yes, Ben had unfortunately rubbed off on you.
Sarah was in tears by the time you were not even halfway done, but Frank calmed you down with another touch to your shoulder. You had tears of panic stinging in your eyes when you met his gaze, your mouth trembling.
“I just radioed in and put Loco and the rest of the security team on looking for Lila. She can’t have gotten far,” he said.
“Come on! Keep up with me, old man,” Slingshot taunted at Ben. His super flexibility allowed him to keep several steps ahead, dodging any attempts to grab him and any weapons fired with easy dips and playful deflection.
“When I get my hands on you, you flaccid fuck, you won’t know your ass from your ball sack,” Ben growled.
But he crashed into the wall when he took a corner too hard trying to tackle the other supe. He picked himself up from the debris of crumbled wall and plaster, ignoring Kimiko’s offer of a helping hand.
“Big fucking talk from the walking AARP commercial,” Slingshot snorted. He turned around and once again prepared to run. “Try not to shatter a hip, asshole!”
He took off down another bend in the hallway. Meanwhile, Ben shook himself off and joined the others in running after this cocksucker. Ben looked over at Butcher.
“What’s your fucking plan?” he grated out.
Butcher seemed to have an idea growing in his mind. “What’d she do to him in that elevator?”
“Tased his dick, by the sound of it,” Ben replied. He knew what weapons you kept in your purse, and that you'd know better than to fire a gun in an enclosed elevator. Butcher snapped his fingers.
“Electricity. Bloody brilliant,” he said. He pointed at Hughie and grabbed Frenchie by the collar. “You, with me. I’ve got an idea. The rest of ya, get him pinned down.”
“Easier said than done, motherfucker,” M.M. grumbled. But he followed Ben and Kimiko to find their errant supe.
Slingshot played a cocky game, but inside, there was fear.
They’d caught him once, and now, this building was crawling with security, let alone the assholes chasing him.
He was panting for breath when he nearly ran straight into…a kid?
She was wandering around, trying to open a locked door. He skidded to a stop in front of her, and she looked up at him wide-eyed. He tilted his head. She was a cute little thing with brown hair and green eyes. She wore a blouse with cartoon ducks on it over her jeans and sunshine-yellow shoes.
“Hey, cutie. Where you going?” asked Slingshot. “Are you lost?”
“Looking for my mom,” she answered, a bit timidly. The supe gave her an easy smile; inside, he knew he’d just found his collateral, and his ticket out of here.
“Okay. What’s your name?” he asked.
“L…Lila,” she said.
“Pretty name for a pretty girl,” he said, with all due charm. He struck a pose, with his fists held up to his waist. “I can help you, Lila. I’m a superhero.”
Her eyes widened. “Really? Like Daddy?”
“Oh, yeah. Your dad and I are friends.” Never mind that he had no fucking clue who her daddy was. He offered her his hand.
Now, Lila knew not to talk to strangers, but if he knew her dad…
After a moment of reluctant indecision, she took his hand. Slingshot tapered a smirk into a more friendly smile.
“Let’s go find him.”
Ben was ahead of the pack, but he soon came to an abrupt stop with wider eyes. He finally found Slingshot, except he had Ben’s daughter by the hand. Slingshot wore a cocky grin as he took the child up into his arms.
“Hey, guys. Who’s this little peanut belong to?” he asked. “Said she was looking for her daddy.”
Ben’s breath turned to lead in his lungs. Lila’s eyes lit up with recognition when she saw him.
“Daddy!”
Ben’s softer gaze shifted from her, hardening once it reached the other supe.
“Let her go,” he growled lowly.
Slingshot’s grin deepened incredulously as he laughed.
“Oh shit, she’s yours?” he exclaimed. “This’s just too fucking perfect.”
“Lila!” your shout came from behind Ben, and you stepped around M.M. and Kimiko.
Ben held out a hand to keep you at bay. He kept his eyes on Slingshot, but Ben heard your gasp. His stomach dipped, knowing your worry had to be reaching new heights as you took in the situation.
“Ben,” you uttered.
“I’ve got this,” he said to you.
“You don’t got shit, old man,” Slingshot snapped. He shot you a smirk next. “She’s your bitch? Figures.”
“Just let her go,” you implored. You had tears brimming in your eyes. “We can negotiate your release if you promise to be more responsible.”
Ben shot you a glance then. He didn’t intend for this fucker to live, let alone walk the streets of New York again. But he supposed any bluff was worth it at this point.
Meanwhile, seeing the distress on her parents’ faces made Lila begin to break down into tears. She whined, pushing against the supe holding her, wanting to be let go.
“It’s okay, sweetie,” Slingshot cooed. “You’re just gonna take a little trip with me.”
“No!” a ragged shout tore from your throat when he took a few backward steps down the hall.
Ben held you back from following him, all while he tensed with rage. M.M. and Kimiko were also poised to try and stop the supe. But Slingshot tightened his hold on Lila in warning.
“Back the fuck off,” he demanded. “Once I get to JFK and get my ass on a plane, maybe, maybe you see your daughter aga—”
He had to stop short, as he sensed something just outside of his peripheral vision.
It was Butcher, coming at him to swing a baseball bat at the supe’s head.
You screamed in protest, but Butcher was relying on the supe’s reflexes to dodge the bat. He wasn’t disappointed. Slingshot dodged. Though in his distraction, it gave Ben the opening he needed to step into his orbit and land a solid punch across Slingshot’s face.
It not only cracked his jaw, but also caught him off guard enough for his grip on the child to loosen. Ben grabbed his daughter and turned her away in a protective embrace.
Then Frenchie brought Slingshot down with the prongs of a massive taser clipping onto his nipples. He jolted and screamed—and went down hard on the tile floor.
While Hughie and M.M. ushered in the rest of the security team to swarm in and take the supe into custody, you raced forward to Ben and Lila in tears.
Lila was also crying and clinging to Ben’s neck, shaking like a leaf.
“It’s okay, sweetheart. I’ve got you,” he said quietly, so only she could hear. Lila whimpered and burrowed tighter against his neck.
Tears streamed down your face, but you tried to breathe through it. You rubbed her back and checked her over, making sure she wasn’t hurt.
For Ben, the force of his relief was pounding in his ears. He briefly closed his eyes as he held his daughter closer.
When he opened them again, he met your gaze. You couldn’t speak. All you could do was grab onto his wrist for support. He gave that to you, wrapping his free arm around your waist and pulling you into his side.
“Frank,” he said. His voice was a sharp command. The other man was ready to carry out whatever Ben asked. He also looked relieved to see that Lila was all right.
“Pull the car around,” said Ben. Frank nodded, and went to do just that.
Ben turned to watch in satisfaction when Frenchie and M.M. hauled up a still twitching Slingshot. Butcher slapped a pair of electroshock handcuffs on him that would keep him better contained this time—courtesy of the S.A. armory. He nodded over at Ben, and the latter returned the gesture.
You missed it all, as you were preoccupied with comforting your daughter.
“It’s okay, honey. We’re going home,” you gently whispered to Lila, who was still hiding her face in Ben’s neck. You shared a look with him, and he gave you a short nod. His hand moved to the small of your back, both protective and possessive as the three of you moved towards the garage exit.
There Frank waited with the car that would take your family home.
You watched Ben with the beginning of tears brimming in your eyes. You managed to hold them at bay while he set Lila down in her bed. You’d just finished giving her a bath and helping her get into her pajamas after a quiet, somewhat tense dinner.
Lila still seemed upset in her unusually quiet mood, which you knew was understandable. Ben sat at her bedside and soothed a hand over her head, brushing her cheek with his thumb.
“You’ve had a crazy friggin’ day, huh?” he asked. Lila didn’t want to look at him, but he encouraged it with gentle fingers brushing her chin, teasing the tip of her nose. She hinted at a smile and finally met his eyes. He smiled back at her, if more reserved. But his expression turned serious again.
“What’s wrong?” he asked. He could see it. She had been more or less fine throughout dinner, but now she’d turned quiet and withdrawn again. She only got like that when she was upset about something.
Lila toyed with the ear of her stuffed animal, Charlie. Frank had retrieved it for her from the daycare.
“Sorry I talked to strangers,” Lila mumbled.
You had to bite the inside of your lip so you wouldn’t cry. You came over to sit on the other side of her bed. You sniffed and shook your head, but Ben beat you to what you wanted to say.
“You’re not in trouble, all right? We’re not mad,” he said.
Lila’s lower lip wobbled. Ben sighed and picked her up, plopping her down in his lap. She hugged him as tight as she could and he held her back, warm and secure.
“You know I’m always gonna be there to keep you safe. You never have to worry or be afraid,” he said.
You carded your fingers through Lila’s hair so she knew you were there too. Usually, the roles were reversed, where you were doing the comforting and Ben was the solid support. Right now though, you just didn’t have the words. Not when guilt was eating you from the inside out.
Fortunately, your husband did have the words, after he heaved a sigh.
“I might raise my voice, sometimes, but uh…you never have to be afraid of me either. Okay?” he said.
"Mhmm," Lila agreed.
You laid hand on Ben's arm, gently squeezing. He met your gaze, and knew what you were prodding with just that look in your eyes.
Briefly, he hesitated before he looked back down at his daughter.
"I'm sorry I scared you," he said.
Lila nodded against his chest. “It's okay.”
“Good,” he said, laying a kiss on her forehead. “All right, you ready to go to bed?”
She clung to him and made a sound of refusal.
You were finally able to crack a smile. You leaned down by her ear.
“You want Daddy to read you a story first?” you asked.
Ben shot you a look at the way you volunteered him for that. He was tired and drained.
But one hopeful, shiny look from his daughter, and he folded like a deck of cards.
Later, when Lila was asleep, you tucked her in one last time and Ben turned out the light. He kept the door cracked open, just in case she called for either one of you tonight.
Then, somehow, you and Ben ended up in the kitchen instead of the bedroom. As exhausted as both of you were, you needed this moment to decompress, with one of your old favorite pastimes…
He broke out the whiskey while you found an appropriate midnight snack, and then a seat with him at the breakfast bar. The two of you shared a companionable silence, as well as a large bag of sea salt and vinegar chips.
That was sort of how you felt inside.
“Today can’t happen again,” Ben said, breaking the silence.
You looked over at him, but he was looking beyond you. Maybe so he didn’t have to show you how deeply he’d been rattled. You knew him far too well for that.
“Of course not,” you replied. And you released a sigh. “So here’s what I’m thinking. From now on I’ll work from home, so I can watch Lila until she goes to preschool.”
Ben got ready to argue, but you held up a hand. The other went to rest over your belly. You had scheduled an ultrasound with Dr. Tonya Baker tomorrow, just to make sure all was well after this ordeal.
“I already plan to take my maternity leave when this guy rolls into town,” you said with a smile. “Then, when I’m ready, and if it’s feasible, I can continue to work from home until all the kids are in school.”
Ben’s lips twitched humorlessly. He should’ve known you’d continue making this a negotiation. He set down his glass, and he reached out to slide a hand over yours, across your belly. He took in a deep breath. But when he let it go, you sensed you still hadn’t convinced him.
“Listen, I know you don’t want me to work—” you began.
“It’s not that,” he said. He made sure you looked him in the eyes when he said it. “It’s not.”
Despite yourself, you read the sincerity in his words. It had you pausing, waiting for him to continue.
“You know damn well…that just being around me is dangerous,” he said. “To you, and to Lila. But you being connected with Supe Affairs, working these missions, even from behind a desk, it’s a fucking risk. It’ll always be a risk.”
You considered that with new understanding. You took his hand with both of yours.
“Ben, this life, this work…it’s the same for me as it is for you. It’s all I know how to do. It’s what I’m wired for. So that’s why it’s hard for me to turn down that dial,” you explained. “But look, I understand what you’re saying. Believe me, I do. And today…today was…”
Your breath hitched as tears stung in your eyes. Ben shook his head and tugged you closer.
“Come ‘ere,” he said.
You left your chair to go to him. You stood between his long legs while he pulled you into a warm embrace. Logically, you knew that what happened today wasn’t your fault. However, part of you still felt like a failure of a mother for underestimating the risks of having your daughter at the S.A.
You should’ve known better, you berated yourself. And yet, it was Ben’s words that stopped your train of thought.
“Today wasn't on you,” he said. "Get that thought outta your head."
He knew you well too, and this was one of those times. You wept harder against him, pressing your face into the crook of his neck. He held you, comforted you until you began to calm down.
“Take your maternity leave early,” he said. His deep voice was a rumble. “You’re going to have your hands full with Lila when I’m not here. Unless we hire someone to help you.”
It was an idea you could consider, but who could you trust? That was the question.
Maybe your mother? you thought. You knew she was thinking of retiring from her job in a couple of years anyway.
You sighed and slipped your fingers through Ben’s hair. Your hand came to rest on the back of his neck as you leaned against him.
When Lila came into your lives, you had been so excited to start a family that you hadn’t considered the non-physical side effects. Namely, the sacrifices you would have to make in order to keep your family safe.
Before you met Ben, your job was your life. But today reminded you that your daughter…and your unborn son, were more important to you than your job. No matter how important that job might be for the rest of the world.
“Let’s talk about this more tomorrow,” you said, shaking your head. “I can’t think anymore.”
After a beat of hesitation, he agreed with a nod. Like so many battles before, whatever compromise you and Ben finally reached would be hard won. His hand found your cheek and caressed your skin.
“You still try my fucking patience, you know that?” he muttered.
You smiled tiredly. “Did you really expect that to change?”
He scoffed. Even so, he guided you off his shoulder so that he could claim your lips. His kiss tasted like the burn of whiskey. You met his demanding lips in kind, though you were the first one to part from him slowly.
“I love you,” you whispered a reminder.
Ben nodded and pressed a kiss to your forehead. He lingered there for a moment, as if he could pause the world for a while.
He eventually let out a breath through his nose and allowed himself to be honest.
“I love you too,” he said.
With that shared understanding, he stood from his seat. He drained the last of his glass before he bent to gather you up into his arms. You yelped in surprise, clinging to his shoulders.
“Time for some rest,” Ben said. There was a certain smile on his face, gentler than usual.
He forged a path towards the bedroom. You sighed and laid your head against his chest.
For once, you didn’t argue with him.
AN: I've been wanting to put this one out for a while now. 💚💚 I so hope you enjoyed this chapter of the BMD verse! Do you like how their little family is evolving? 😘
Keep Reading in the BMD-verse:
Aside from the major one-shots and mini series within the BMD-verse, there are some fun Imagines and Headcanons as well. Remember to check back on the series masterlist for more BMD stories.
▶️ Break Me Down Masterlist
Ko-Fi Me ☕
Break Me Down Masterlist
Soldier Boy Masterlist
Main Masterlist
Series Tag List (Part 1):
@deans-spinster-witch @this-is-me19 @waynes-multiverse @samanddeaninatrenchcoat @spalady26
@spnwoman @syrma-sensei @wirdbeimaufhebengebunden @muhahaha303 @123passwort
@mrsjenniferwinchester @lyarr24 @xoxovienna @lollag0w0 @globetrotter28
@nancymcl @ashbatz @secretdreamlandmentality @kristophalis @wonderland2022
@emily-winchester @shelh93 @sl33pylilbunny @spoonmynoodle @chernayawidow
@buckybarnes-1917 @asgardprincess97 @sometimes-i-sing @itsyellow @theonlymaninthesky
@kimberleymjw @is-this-a-febreze-commercial @iamsapphine @sanscas @se-fucking-hun
@lassie-bird @jessjad @yepimthatperson @fromcaintodean @stoneyggirl
@spnfamily-j2 @im-a-slut-for-fluff @lacilou @venicesem @mimaria420
@tearsfortheyouth @agalliasi @chriszgirl92 @kazsrm67 @deansbbyx
#Calculated Risks#Break Me Down#BMD-verse#soldier boy#soldier boy x reader#soldier boy x you#soldier boy x female reader#Soldier Boy/Ben#daughter!OC#the boys#the boys AU#the boys season 3#the boys amazon#soldier boy fanfiction#billy butcher#mother's milk#hughie campbell#jensen ackles characters#jensen ackles#soldier boy/ben#zepskies writes
892 notes
·
View notes