#the tense scenes are written really really well and feel so real

[whispers-whump]

Some writing advice

that I like to use when I write. None of this is meant to be taken as hard and fast rules, they’re just things I like to do/keep in mind when I’m writing and I thought maybe other people would enjoy! <3

Never say what you mean

This is an offshoot of the very common “show don’t tell” advice, which I think can be confusing in application and unhelpful for scenes where telling is actually the right move. Instead, I keep the advice to never say exactly what I mean in stories.

By using a combination of showing and telling to hint at what you really mean, you force your reader to think and figure it out on their own, which makes for a more satisfying reading experience.

You might show a character getting angry and defensive in response to genuine care and concern. You could tell the audience that the character doesn’t see/talk to their parents often. But never outright give the real meaning that the character feels unlovable because of their strained relationship with their parents and as a result they don’t know how to react to being cared for.

Your readers are smart, you don’t need to spoon feed them.

Be sparse with the important things

You know how in a lot of movies there’s that tense scene where a character is hiding from something/someone and you can only just see this person/thing chasing them through a crack in the door? You get a very small glimpse of whatever’s after the character, sometimes only shadows being visible.

Do that in your writing. Obscure the important things in scenes by overdescribing the unimportant and underdescribing the important.

You might describe the smell of a space, the type of wood the floor is made of, the sound of work boots moving slowly across the room, a flashlight in the character’s hand. And there’s a dead body, laying in a pool of blood in the far corner of the room, red soaking into the rug. Then move on, what kind of rug is it? What is the color, patterns, and type of fabric of the rug?

Don’t linger on the details of the body, give your reader’s imagination some room to work while they digest the mundane you give them.

Dialogue is there to tell your story too

There’s a lot of advice out there about how to make dialogue more realistic, which is absolutely great: read aloud to yourself, put breaks where you feel yourself take a breath, reword if you’re stuttering over your written dialogue. But sometimes, in trying to make dialogue sound more realistic, a little bit of its function is lost.

Dialogue is more than just what your characters say, dialogue should serve a purpose. It’s a part of storytelling, and it can even be a bridging part of your narration.

If you have a scene with a lot of internal conflict that is very narration-heavy, breaking it up with some spoken dialogue can be a way to give some variety to those paragraphs without moving onto a new idea yet; people talk to themselves out loud all of the time.

Dialogue is also about what your characters don’t say. This can mean the character literally doesn’t say anything, they give half-truths, give an expected answer rather than the truth (“I’m fine”), omit important information, or outright lie.

Play with syntax and sentence structure

You’ve heard this advice before probably. Short, choppy sentences and a little onomatopoeia work great for fast-paced action scenes, and longer sentences with more description help slow your pacing back down.

That’s solid advice, but what else can you play with? Syntax and sentence structure are more than just the length of a sentence.

Think about things like: repetition of words or ideas, sentence fragments, stream of consciousness writing, breaking syntax conventions, and the like. Done well, breaking some of those rules we were taught about language can be a more compelling way to deliver an emotion, theme, or idea that words just can’t convey.

Would love to hear any other tips and tricks other people like to use, so feel free to share!!!

[contact-guy]

God I just love that in The Dying Detective you made it so Sherlock is struggling to convince Watson he's sick. Watson knows him so well at this point. It huuuurrtttsssss (positive)

THANK YOUUU I wanna talk about this because it ties into why I love comics so much, and why I love adapting prose into comics. It's a pretty well known idea that part of the job as a cartoonist is to be the 'actor' for your characters - to try and inhabit their heads, figure out their body language, make their expressions with your own face as you're drawing them, etc.

This brings a certain level of intuition into comic drawing that I find really magical. Sometimes I'll have something written (for original work) or there will be something in the text (for adapted work) but when it comes time to draw it, I just...can't get the character to do it. None of my drawings make sense or feel authentic. It feels like they've turned from 'real' people into flat paper dolls. I've been doing this long enough that I've learned when that happens, it means something in the text needs to change.

For Dying Detective, I started sketching it as a direct translation of the book, but something weird happened as I went:

I found I kept cropping out Watson's face. Maybe it was just that I'd drawn sad Watson too much recently and I was tired of it. But I couldn't figure out how to draw him reacting to Holmes being sick with genuine distress, the way he does in the book - not within the altered narrative I'm telling with the Sketchbook. They've known each other too long, they're in too tense of a place in their relationship, and Watson is too familiar with Holmes's tendency to make a scene.

So to experiment, I drew him looking skeptical instead.

And THAT was fun and easy, which meant it was the right direction to go. It also made the scene go from feeling like a single, sustained note of distress, to an unspoken power struggle, where the characters end in a different place from when they begin. For this specific adaptation, it was a good change to make - and it was something I only discovered through the art. All this to say that I love comics always and forever!!!

[notashadowbutawave]

finally talked my wife into watching 8x06 "confessions" with me and WOW there's quite a lot going on in this breakup scene in buck's apartment (and the infamous glee scene for that matter) that I haven't seen discussed much on this website (though maybe I'm just not finding it?) like this show is always yelling the themes in your face but...

first of all I think it's somewhat intentional that Buck is being written as kind of regressing. So far in the show, he's gotten his confidence in romantic relationships by fulfilling the role with the person that he thinks he should fulfill. with Abby, Buck had just learned about serious adult romantic relationships and how they work and was trying to Be A Partner in a complete speed run. But he learned that no amount of devotion is a substitute for functionality. with Taylor, he was trying to Be A Functional Partner - and he learned that being a partner Has To involve trust, and that trust comes from somewhere else other than just our actions - it has to come from our hearts.

Tommy is the first person he's ever dated where he doesn't know what the next steps are and that's because this isn't something he has a blueprint for - being a Partner and a Functional Partner for somebody who sees right through him and sees exactly what he's trying to do, to make Tommy never leave. Abby was completely clueless (sorry I really dislike Abby) and Taylor didn't realize that an adult man could behave so badly without utter malice in his heart. Both of them kind of make the mistake of being vulnerable to Buck's charms.

Tommy is of course vulnerable to Buck's charms but Buck is more transparently himself with Tommy as well - and what Tommy sees, then, is a person who is deeply insecure and may be trending in the right direction but ultimately still thinks there's a lever he can pull to make Tommy stay and never leave him. He doesn't know that he's not done cooking yet because every new thing he learns about the world or others makes him feel brand fucking new.

So yes, the glee scene:

Josh was absolutely gagged that Tommy was Abby's ex fiance

Buck's first instinct is to see the situation from Abby's side and go into protective mode which is adorably loyal to be fair but also like ; get a grip

I actually love Josh's framing of "you care about this person and if you want a future in a queer relationship you need to learn that we don't all come to this the same way"

Did they need a cultural reference? No. Were they going to self referentially congratulate Ryan Murphy for inflicting it on the world? Yes.

And regarding the breakup itself:

What is wrong with this fandom's sense of humor that I haven't seen a gif of "I'm the himbo" ??? Like yes babe u sure are come here

Buck is really working so hard in this scene to make sure Tommy knows that he's serious. He's like... this freaked me out but I've decided I'm cool with it. She changed my life but not like you !!!

Like bless his heart, Buck thought he was really doing the right thing by telling Tommy about Abby BEFORE ASKING HIM TO MOVE IN WITH HIM. like MY CARDS ARE ON THE TABLE??? SEE??? LOVE ME FOREVER !! it's adorable and it's also cringe as fuck.

I think the real sin of the writing here is making Buck so completely clueless that this is the wrong move. Like he's kind of an idiot (Eddie Diaz's words not mine) but moving in with someone after dating them for six months in your 30s is WILD behavior and I don't think even Evan Buckley would fail to realize that this is a bit much in this moment.

But idk being in love makes one do stupid things? I did all of my messy bitch relationship shit before I turned 30 but I guess it is buck we are talking about

I completely understand why Tommy reacts the way he does in this scene and bless Lou Ferrigno Jr for acting it with such nuance, much more depth than the scene frankly deserves. What a heartbreaker. Like you see him tense up at Buck's request

"I'm not saying let's get married or engaged, even though we would have the right, thanks to the brave people who came before, including you." such an insane thing to say to your boyfriend. Whoever approved this script was trying to take me out like with a gun.

You then see the absolute grief in Tommy's eyes like oh god this kid is killing me. He's so sweet. He's so cute. He doesn't get it. I love him. He doesn't get it.

As an aside, Eddie being stalked in the juice bar by the hot priest was absolutely incredible.

I didn't hate this episode but wow the writing does suck shit, however I fully believe it makes sense for them to break up here and get back together in the future ??? because Buck DOES have some shit to figure out. Like moving in with someone is a lot of fucking intimacy REALLY fast and baby boy sometimes you NEED to pump the brakes a little ESPECIALLY when you think someone might be THE ONE and you just figured out you like guys six months ago.

I get it and yeah the writing is tragic and the inclusion of Abby in general is just unhinged and unnecessary but like I don't hate the broad strokes here. how else does the blorbo learn if not by ritual torture by the writers. Lou is too good to not have back though. My god what a treasure.

end bucktommy endgame truther transmission

[rosyhoneydew]

I'll Cover You

Written for @bucktommypositivityweek | Week 2, Day 2: Scenes from a firetruck | cw for mentions of dissociation, flashbacks

I wrote two entries for today! If mildly steamy fluff is more your vibe it's here -> Stolen Moment

The winds are strong, even days after the tornado’s long gone.

Buck hadn’t seen anything like it before. Tornadoes, sure, but the kind of large-scale damage that came from an invasive cloud of bees droning en masse and descending on the city like a plague? A first. He’s nursing a sting or two himself for a few days.

It’s almost a relief to get called on scene two days later. Almost. Because while plane crashes are, at least, familiar, they’re still grueling.

All things considered, it’s not as bad as it could’ve been. The 737 went down on land this time, but it had only barely made it off the ground before taking a nosedive back onto the tarmac. The passengers were buckled in and the drop itself wasn’t too big. So yeah, they got pretty lucky.

They’re still on the scene now. Hen and Eddie are working at the cockpit last he knew, Chim’s somewhere in the med bay here with him, working on a bigger trauma. Buck’s been handling some of the lower grade injuries and he’s cool, really. Yeah it would be nice to be out there, doing the big boy stuff, but they’ve got a new captain and he’s learning to pick his battles.

He’s just finishing wrapping up a kid’s ankle. He can’t be more than 7 but he’s been so brave, holding his little sister’s hand to keep her from crying. He’s got the elastic bandage just in place when the wind rips the kid’s jacket from where it was draped on his shoulders and under the 217’s truck.

“I gotcha!” he reassures the kid quick. “One sec, you stay right here for me, okay?”

Buck shuffles over to the truck in a walk-run and bends down low to peek underneath. It would probably be easier to grab the jacket from the other side, but he’s already here so he just finishes ducking down, crawls under and reaches out for the corner of the fabric.

He’s still under the truck when the next big wind hits. It leaves the truck shaking and groaning around him. Buck freezes. It feels like all logical thought in his brain shuts off.

The truck isn’t going to tip over. He’s not stuck. If he had the presence of mind he could wiggle his toes, even. But there’s something about being under here, hearing the voices around him, it has him tense all over. He can’t move.

When he looks back on it, he’ll wonder why it set him off. It’s not nighttime, there are no kids with bombs strapped to them, it’s not like he was even under the truck when it tipped last time. It’s a fluke, almost. But it can’t be helped. He’s petrified.

—

Tommy honestly thought his first call working with the 118’s A-shift would have had a little more novelty, but it’s just been long. He’s happy to see Evan, of course, but he hardly sees him. He’s been over in the med bay for the last couple of hours that Tommy’s been teamed up with Viera, pulling passengers out of the wreck.

He had at least been able to drop off an older woman directly to Evan about an hour ago.

Well, Patricia, it looks like your day is looking up! You’re in good hands with this one. He’ll patch you up real good.

Ahh, my job’s the easy part. You’re just lucky firefighter pilot Kinard was here to save you.

She’d only had a sprained wrist, but Tommy had watched them from afar for a minute, ever impressed with the way Evan kept her calm, reassurances and jokes taking the fear out of her eyes. He has to turn back before long, but he lets that moment carry him through the next push. He’s going home to that man.

He’s jogging back to check in at base when he hears crying to his right. There’s a kid standing still, holding the hand of a little girl and he’s wailing at the sky. That doesn’t seem right. Tommy’s eyes track around the area and he spots boots sticking out of the side of their truck. Definitely not right. He changes course, picking up his speed as he approaches the kids.

“Hey, bud, you okay?” He’s got his hands on the boy’s shoulders, grounding him, hopefully. “You hurting anywhere?”

The kid coughs out a few more sobs in Tommy’s face, but he shakes his head. He looks like he’s willing himself not to be scared. Jesus, kids are resilient.

“Alright, that’s good, I’m going to check on my friend here, you gonna be okay for a minute?” A nod. Good.

Tommy turns his attention to the truck behind him, lays flat, knocking his helmet off in the process. The guy’s not moving, but Tommy’s not able to figure out at a glance what happened here. There’s no gas leak, no threat to public safety over here.

“You good, man?” he calls out.

The body of the guy twitches. Not dead. That’s good. He clears his throat.

“Can you feel your feet? I can try to move you but I need to know if you’ve got any injuries I should watch out for.”

No response. Okay. Time to change tack.

Tommy rights himself and walks to the other side of the truck, resuming position on the asphalt. He shuffles in a little closer and finally gets a look at the guy’s face.

Evan. It’s Evan.

“Evan?” he says. He’s not sure it comes out as much more than a breath.

Evan’s eyes do flick to his then, but there’s still something distant in his gaze. He’s dissociated. It comes to mind then, the stories told at happy hours and trivia nights, and the ones told only in the sanctuary that is their bedroom. They're good stories, but Tommy knows better than most the toll that kind of shit can take on a person. Evan's having a flashback.

“Alright, alright, baby,” Tommy says under his breath. He’s not sure Evan would hear him even if he spoke up. He looks pretty gone.

Tommy scoots half a foot closer, puts both palms flat to the ground.

“Evan,” he starts, “can you do this with your hands? Just like mine.” He flexes his hands a bit to demonstrate.

Evan’s own hands are balled up. It looks like he army crawled under here. His arms are bent at his sides, curled in tight half under his body. He blinks a few times.

“Your hands, Evan.” Tommy picks his own up and places them back down again. “Just like this.”

Evan mirrors the movements.

“Good job, that’s perfect.”

“Kinard?” He hears from behind him.

“We’re good here, Sloane.” Who knows if she’ll believe him; she’s a damn good secondary when they’re in the air but she’s nosy as all get-out.

He hears the sound of her turnouts rustling as she shifts around, deciding whether to stay or go.

“Sloane. I got this. Can you round back to the kids on the other side? I’m going to be here a minute.”

He hears the sound of boots squeaking behind him as she does what he asks. Okay, Ev, just you and me.

Evan’s fingertips are curling, his eyes pinched closed.

“Ev, sweetheart, look at me.” He does. “I’m gonna grab your arm okay? Then we can work on getting you over here. Sound good?”

There’s no response, but that’s okay. Tommy’s going real slow. He reaches out and places a sure hand on Evan’s arm.

“Can you push yourself toward me?”

His eyes close again and for a second Tommy falters, mentally jumping two steps back to figure out a different path forward. But then Evan pushes. He digs the meat of his hand into the ground and uses the leverage to slide his body toward Tommy.

“Just like that. Exactly like that.”

He’s close enough now that Tommy can reach his shoulder. He gets a good grip and rolls Evan the rest of the way, pulling him up to sitting once he’s on his back and out from under the belly of the truck. He watches as Evan scrambles to pull his feet out.

Tommy’s got him sat in between the V of his legs, one arm around his waist, and brings the other up to Evan’s face, pushing the damp hair off his forehead. They’re tucked in between trucks, so the sound of commotion from the continued efforts of the other houses is muffled. The loudest thing he can hear is their panting, both going a little boneless with relief.

Tommy places a kiss to Evan’s temple. He’s sweaty there too. He feels Evan’s breathing slow down a bit, but he’s reluctant to break the quiet. He’s not sure that Evan’s flashbacks are like his, everyone’s a little different, but he sometimes needs the silence after. Just to collect himself. So he gives that to Evan, too.

“Did- did you get it?” Evan finally says, startling Tommy just a bit.

“Get it?”

“The jacket.” He’s smoothing his palms over his pants; nervous habit.

Tommy stretches his neck to look behind him, sees the blue rain jacket lying there. He can pinch it with his fingers from where they’re sitting. He drags it out. Troublemaker.

They sit together for another minute. Tommy can hear Sloane marching the kids away to find their parents. If he really tunes into the noises around them, he can hear some laughter and lots of walkies; they're finishing up here. He'll probably get called in soon enough to pack up.

“How are you feeling?” he asks.

Evan nods, then tips his head back onto Tommy’s shoulder. “Better. Thank you.”

Tommy moves his hand down to Evan’s face, just to tilt his cheek a little closer, plants a long, sure kiss there.

“I’ve got you.”

Evan smiles. “Yeah, you got me.”

[corviiids]

customary sparknotes for chapter 10

nobody asked this time i just got shit to say. don't read this post unless you've read chapter 10 of my akechi palace au fic "as you like it" because it will make 0 sense forever. here we go

the code for this part took way longer than i want to admit for it being so simple because it just kept breaking in really stupid ways and then it didn't work on mobile. it's fine. it's fine now. tell me if it's broken. don't tell me

i had this dream sequence part drafted back when i posted chapter 9. the thing that took so long was the action sequence, which is ALWAYS the thing that takes so long. i finished my first draft of this chapter about a month ago sitting in a hotel bar, and i got it to where it is now a few days ago sitting in the same hotel bar, so, thanks to that hotel bar and its fantastic jalapeno cocktail and very patient staff for sponsoring this chapter. not sponsoring actually the cocktails are expensive i sponsored myself. anyway

end of dumb preamble? beginning of dumb amble

this first bit takes place in ren's mind as a dream sequence after he gets hit with the sleep effect, basically. parts of it are laid out in a sort of mockup of a stageplay script, although obviously this isn't how you'd write a real script haha. i wanted to play with, like... akechi's palace is a theatre, but he and ren have a lot in common. in his own way, ren is a performer, too.

the scenes with the phantom thieves are all in past tense, which is how the flashbacks in this fic have been written. the recurring motif is how the phantom thieves interact with ren, mostly via his glasses, generally along the theme of how they see him. i didn't really make this explicit, but in all of these scenes, none of the thieves look him directly in the eye.

in the game, ren usually has two or three dialogue options. his narration in this moments are the options he didn't choose. he always chooses the one which is the least direct and the most deflective, because in these moments he is feeling vulnerable and being honest is too overwhelming. by the way, "don't look at me like that" is text that appears in one of p5's menus:

which i just find interesting.

the scenes with akechi, by contrast, are told in present tense. they're also rife with unreality. the setting changes as though it's a dream, which of course it is. it's unclear whether these scenes are an amalgam of things that happened that ren is mixing and remembering oddly, or if he's conjured them.

ok let's look at the script scenes as well. they're basically all retellings of ren's run-in with shido.

the idea is that in tokyo, ren spends a lot of time lying in bed replaying those moments in his head, wondering how else it could have gone. no matter how many times he plays it out, no matter how he thinks about regretting what he did, walking away, making a different call,

he always makes the same choice.

do you ever think about how disproportionate that trumped up assault charge was? ren, frustrated and bitter, has to wonder - if he was just going to get pulled up on assault anyway, what difference would it have made if he'd actually just fucking done it? at least gotten to do the thing he got busted for. for catharsis, or whatever.

unlike the phantom thieves, akechi DOES look ren in the eye

he doesn't let ren get away with dodging his questions, and he repeatedly asks ren what he actually thinks

and with akechi, ren is able to say what he's really thinking.

ok now the rest of the amble

i love writing a fic which has akechi's name plastered all over it and then repeatedly going SURPRISE! this is about ren. it's about ren.

ren's been really struggling with this whole hero thing a lot. i think this battle is where it really comes to a head, because all the shit akechi was giving him in the last chapter about the ethics of stealing a heart is really getting to him. he's wondering whether he's really doing this for akechi or if it's for his own satisfaction, plus the burden of being the leader of the phantom thieves weighs heavier and heavier because if he's not doing this for akechi then that means he's doing it for himself, which means he can't play this as self-sacrificial or selfless, which means his team is putting themselves at risk for him. he's disoriented and he gets put out of commission for his trouble, which just puts his team further at risk while he spirals and tries to do right by everyone. it's a chance for the phantom thieves to step up and save him - as their friend, not their leader. i love the phantom thieves and their dorky power of friendship.

i also really liked coming up with cognitive joker. the idea of the VIP Box being inhabited solely by shido and joker was super fun to me. shido is gone from akechi's cognition, which begs the question of why the box still exists if it was allegedly only there to seat the VIP, the person at the centre of akechi's struggles - obviously it's because the distortion has grown far beyond shido, who is no longer the only person akechi performs for. joker isn't there as a guest. he broke in, and he's unkillable. by the way, his hair is based on the persona super live key art from 2019:

look at his swoopy hair. isn't he cute? i wanna squish his cheeks.

how about that awakening

okay, here's a fun fact about the fucking awakening. here's a FEW fun facts.

1. i came up with the idea of fusing robin hood and loki into a third persona before i had even published chapter 1 (way back in 2019), which means i had that idea long before persona 5 royal was ever announced.

when p5r's marketing started up and was like "we're gonna fuse everyone's first and second personae for a third persona!" i was like (throws a chair at the wall)

2. my first idea for the third persona, back at that point, was for akechi's third persona to be adraestia. she was a greek goddess who later became identified with nemesis/rhamnousia, the goddess of retribution for hubris.

then fire emblem three houses came out, and i realised adraestia was only going to call to mind the black eagles. lol. i was like ok, that's fine, it doesn't really matter, and if it bothers me a lot, i can switch to naming her rhamnousia or something.

then THIS YEAR, i decided to check whether nemesis/rhamnousia existed in smt lore as a shadow already. and as it turns OUT, i had forgotten a VERY KEY FACT ABOUT PERSONA 3.

SHE'S TAKEN. BY A DIFFERENT JUSTICE KID. so i had to change tacks again.

this really left me floundering for a second i gotta say. and then i remembered that last year, i'd written a scene in a fit of pure self-indulgence in which akechi starts telling ren all about the iliad. (this scene appears in chapter 8.) when i wrote that scene, i hadn't really been thinking that hard about how it was going to affect the plot. i just thought achilles and akechi had some interesting similarities, and also, i wanted to talk about the iliad, so i wrote the scene and figured i could cut it if it stuck out too much. anyway, i remembered that scene and was like, holy shit hang on, i have an entire thing already set up for a mythological figure who represents akechi's soul. and it actually works way better than rhamnousia, whose connection with akechi's struggle here is pretty surface-level in comparison. here's a line from my planning doc:

pretty cool how in royal he literally does have twin fates: short and blazing or long and unremarkable

so that's how akhilleus became akechi's third persona. wow! what a happy accident! i mean im a genius and it was all planned from the start obviously. it just goes to show that sometimes you go on a stupid little infodump and it ends up solving a plot problem you didn't foresee an entire year later. fixation works.

akhilleus himself is really cool to me. if i had a persona, achilles would be mine, so i hope akechi fucking appreciates that i've donated him to the goro akechi cause. idk if any artists are keen on doing character designs for personae but of the suite of art i daydream about commissioning for this fic, key art for akhilleus is definitely up there. the woman hovering behind him is his mother, obviously - and akechi's.

this other thing

i also just wanted to mention this

i usually don't outline or plan fics very well, as you can probably fucking tell from the above. im just really short sighted when it comes to outlines and i usually can't see more than a few chapters in advance except for either vague shapes or VERY SPECIFIC SCENES, so doing this kind of intricate planning is a real challenge for me.

the goho-m thing is such a small detail, but im really pleased with it just because it is one of the things i actually did very deliberately plan and set up in advance. it first appears in chapter 6 when ren and makoto go to the zoo - ren gives all his goho-ms to makoto as a show of trust, to demonstrate that he trusts her to get him and their friends home safely after they resolve his fear and resentment for her plan almost getting him killed. i did that to wrap makoto's arc, but it also served a very important plot purpose in chapter 8: ren is stranded in the courtyard with akechi's "shadow" self, and he has no easy way of getting out of the palace because he gave all of his goho-ms to queen. oh no, ren trusted his friends so much it's gonna get him killed. unless?

(this is a plot hole p5 the game just never bothers to fill or else they wouldn't get dramatic anime scenes of the phantom thieves sprinting out of the palaces as they explode and im at peace with that but i still think it's funny and also i wanted to fill the plot hole myself.)

so then it finally gets to come back in chapter 10, when ren finally falls from being their fearless heroic leader and gives his friends a chance to step up and save him for once. makoto still has the goho-ms, and when ren is occupied and out of commission, she steps up and saves them like he trusted her to do. guys! i planned something that spanned five whole chapters. wow! wow i did it.

LONG POST. VERy LONG POST. god. HEY this is it the palace is destroyed. there are still two chapters to go and a lot left to get through, but palace-wise this was the climax, which is why it took so god damn long because it's terrifying to write something so pivotal. but thank you so much for reading the fic! and this if you read it! i wrote this mostly for me again. but if you read it i love you.

[min-9things]

4 MINUTES EP 3 THOUGHTS + THEORIES

Will contain spoilers

This was a wild one guys. My mood went on a real rollercoaster on this ep and I have SO many questions. There were so many moments that was so LOLZ to me I have to include them in this post when I usually focus on the more serious shit.

First off, the 11:00s in this ep. The first time we see the 11:01 in this ep is when Great is alone, the first on his phone, then the digital clock, then the large projection, like in increasing size and possibly danger and awareness that there is something up. If I remember correctly in ep1 Great is also like "It's already 11pm?" but when he checks Korn's watch he's like huh, and then when Korn is with him his phone shows 07:13. So maybe this seeing of 11:00s is not new. I saw many theories on how what we are seeing is Great's past and the time that moves from 11:00 onwards is the actual time that future Great is living. Initially I didn't believe in this but it is starting to be really potentially possible cuz if not why would it be only seen when Great is alone.

For the first time since ep1, analogue clock is seen with 11:01. It does give us the visuals that we are getting closer and closer to that time of death as compared to just numbers changing on the digital clock. This whole scene of Great staring at the clock, unmoving and people moving around him is so tense for me. The ticking of the seconds hand, footsteps plus the music change to that frog sounding thing at the moment he is alone, then increasing in volume while zooming in on that clock really heightens the suspense and tension. Then the music immediately stopping once he isn't alone. Like damn.

The "Can you forgive me Great?" scared the shit out of me. Is that Great seeing what Tyme may write in the future potentially? It seems like Tyme is the only person that will do something wrong to Great, especially with Great finding out his brother's attacker is Tyme (I will get into that oh my goodness).

WAIT A DAMN MINUTE I JUST REALISED SOMETHING. Mod (the girl that passes Great the thai tea) is the same person that Inspector Win tries to talk to. And then Tyme says he asked a friend of Great's if Great likes thai tea. I'm assuming Tyme knows Mod and if Mod is linked to Tonkla's brother, does that mean Tyme has something to do with Tonkla's brother?

I don't think it is a coincidence that both of these are written in blue pen and are shown in the same ep. I may be tripping but I'm guessing Tyme wrote both of these, which means that Tyme has something to do with not only the people trying to take down the mafia but also the death of Tonkla's brother. May be a stretch but we see where this goes.

In this shot, as Great approaches Tyme it is actually slowed down. It sort of feels like Great is reaching a safe place with Tyme, when just a awhile ago he was stressed with all the clock ticking, time seemingly jumping around for him, and when he meets Tyme he is, well, stable.

My favourite part of this ep is actually the GreatTyme moments. It was nice and sweet, first date vibes. I screamed when they held hands actually like OHMYGOD SO CUTE. Also Bible holding a stuffed toy and making it talk is fucking adorable i swooned. The fact that Great isn't that averse to seeing him and Tyme in his visions is actually nice when initially dude looked terrified (pic from hospital scene in ep 2 when bro looked so weirded out I laughed).

The music in this scene is beautiful and the use of guitar and piano is so amazingly fitting. Gentle vibes all across. Up until the end it actually becomes a bit more melancholy with mainly only piano used, possibly foreshadowing that this happiness won't last, considering how much Tyme is hiding from Great, even when Great is quite openly honest with him.

The piano is also used as a nice transition into the next scene where the mood becomes more tense, instead of just dropping it and moving into fast rhythm music. The shot where the woman turns and suddenly the man isn't lying on the couch anymore puts in just the right amount of suspense with the timing although we know he's right there and then he pops out behind her and whacks her.

After some realisations there's more to unpack from this shot now. Firstly, inspector Win standing on the grey side of the building rather than the white side, possibly showing his change from a morally "I'll do what is right" person to possibly becoming less so as he uncovers that the justice system isn't always right, and that he is becoming more involved with Tonkla, who did kill someone, whether for the right reason or not. Next, Mod does not ever cross this line that separates them, maybe showing that she is indeed part of the group that is trying to take down (?) the mafia but also that her and the group are not on the side of the law.

The separation of Great from the "real" world with the glass windows, with all the clocks around him at 11:01. This could possibly be a nod to how disjointed he is from the real world, and is he really in the real world? So confusing. And then we have Great being Greatlock Holmes.

Camera here tilts to the right to fix itself.

Once Korn leaves the camera tilts towards the right again. Clockwise and more. Possibly showing time is passing and getting closer to death and also the distortion that Great feels whenever he is alone.

LAST SCENE: Tyme voluntarily taking off the mask so that he does not fight with Great? Did Tyme intentionally approach Great because he knew of Great's family's ties to the mafia but over time realised Great just doesn't know much? Sounds familiar, doesn't it? (cough kim)

thanks for reading this has been a long one.

[bumblequinn]

Hi! Medium time listener (I followed after slarpg altered my brain chemistry), first timer asker! What is your process when it comes to composing for games? Is it any different when the subject changes (personal, commission, etc)?

hehehe, well i hope that alteration was a positive one! 😋

so i think there's kind of two sides to this: there's the creative process, and the collaborative process.

The Creative Process

my creative process is actually pretty similar whether i'm working on contract or for personal enjoyment.

first, i consider:

the needs of the prompt in front of me (is it a save menu or a boss battle? is it a tense scene is or a tender one?)

how it should fit into the bigger picture of the whole project (mood/tone, genre, leitmotifs, instrumentation, production style, etc)

what tools i will need to use (subtractive synth or sampler or soundfont or live recording?)

then, i typically write what i call a "skeleton:" just the barest bones of a piece of music. i almost always do this on piano, dividing the bass, harmony, and melody into very distinct registers. i do it this way for several reasons learned the hard way:

first, by dividing parts into clearly delineated registers, i'm saving myself a whole lot of trouble down the line. i have long had a bad habit of over-crowded arrangements, which besides being weaker from a composition standpoint, are also notoriously difficult to mix. and mixing is already hard enough as it is! so writing a strong and well balanced composition from the outset is the best way to go.

second: when you jump into arranging or mixing before the whole piece is written, it's much easier to get stuck. where should i take this track next? i dunno, guess i'll fiddle with the mix. suddenly a week's gone by and i'm still working on a half-written track. if i require myself to write the whole piece out first, then this bottleneck is almost always eliminated.

sometimes you can get really excited about an idea, get carried away with arranging and producing a whole track, get to feeling really attached to it—only for your collaborator to say it's just not the right direction. by limiting myself to one instrument, i don't put in a disproportionate amount of work before confirming whether or not the piece is actually a good fit. and bonus, if it's not a good fit then i have a piece of music written that can serve another project later (or another part of the current project, if i'm lucky)!

of course, i'm not always perfect about this. even very recently, i got really stoked about a track i was cooking up for susan taxpayer and went BANANAS with it—only for punkitt to say she loved it but it wasn't at all the right vibe. a hard but necessary reminder of why i try not to get carried away prematurely!

(don't worry, the one i made to replace it fit like a glove, and the first attempt is gonna be used elsewhere. love wins 😌)

once i do have confirmation that i'm headed in the right direction with an idea though, that's where i really get into it with choosing instruments, designing synths, figuring out the production style, etc. and there's where the real back-and-forth with my collaborator begins, to make sure things are staying on track every step of the way. that leads us to:

The Collaborative Process

for starters, and probably most obviously, different people are different to work with. everyone has different strengths and challenges both creatively and interpersonally, so i try to meet my collaborator where they're at and tune in to their specific needs, vision, and communication style. within reason, i try not to look at these things as being "better" or "worse" with one person versus another, just different!

i think the biggest differences for me as far as how much time and energy i invest into a project are A) whether it's paid or pro bono, and B) my own level of personal excitement about the project.

if i'm doing something purely for fun, it's pretty exclusively because i'm really hyped about the project. because, well, it wouldn't be fun if i weren't, right? and in that situation, i enjoy giving it my all! susan taxpayer falls firmly into this category, and i'm having a blast with it.

SLARPG started out pretty similarly, but as the scope of the project grew, it evolved into more of a pro bono arrangement; bobby and i drafted up a contract and negotiated on how we would split earnings from the game once it released, and that's where i've gotten the vast majority of my income this year. it remained a passion project til the end, but i could not in good conscience put that much of my life into a project of that size unpaid, no matter how much i loved it! (maybe one day, if we collectively defeat capitalism and i no longer have to worry about such things... 🥲)

things get a bit different when you get into strictly contract work, though. when it's something i'm doing for a client who's paying from the start and it's not for my own enrichment, i have more hard and fast boundaries on how much of myself i put into the project. i have specific rates, and offer only so many free revisions before charging additional fees. sure, i can be horribly particular and will revise something a bazillion times to get it "just right" if i'm working on a passion project, but i'm not about to do that for like. a corporate commercial or whatever lol

whether it's for fun or all business, though, i always try to make something i'm proud of. because i want whomever i collaborate with to have something they're happy with in the end, of course! plus i'm kind of allergic to phoning it in, i'm too extra for that 😜

________________

i'm sure i could go on, but i think i'll leave it at that! pardon the slow response, it took me some time to formulate my thoughts for this one. thanks for the question, and take care ^^ 🎵

[riacte]

Some thoughts about writing dialogue (coming from someone who basically transcribed the Blue9 MCC stream for fic purposes):

Real life dialogue is messy. People make mistakes, voices overlap, it gets unintelligible, people repeat themselves instinctively (even if they get their point across the first time)

And this is about Blue9 - four streamers (people who talk as a living) with effective communication / chemistry. It's still messy at times because that's simply how people communicate, especially in fast paced / stressful scenarios

Which makes it a bit tricky to translate to text, because if you repeat dialogue too much, it looks tacky even though it sounds perfectly normal.

Juggling between character voices in tense moments is also annoying because in audio form, you instinctively know who's speaking. But in text form, you have to add indicators so you just can't have paragraphs of dialogue (unlike speaking scenes between two characters)

^ although that could work if your characters have distinctive speaking styles (or mentioning characters by the name in the dialogue), but that also relies on the readers' knowledge of their speaking styles

^ even worse when it's a group and the voices are overlapping. The more characters you have to juggle in a scene, the more it feels like "[Character A] said" then "[Character B] said" and on it goes. It's already difficult to transcribe when it's a group of 5/6 and they're all talking.

At least there's one set of she/her pronouns in the Blue9 team. Actually this is partially why I like writing about men and women - it's easier to juggle pronouns (my skill issue lol)

I tried to keep it as close to canon as possible, but sometimes you have to edit down and add bits of exposition for clarity's sake. Like if you watch the stream, it makes sense. The repetition and messiness adds to the experience, honestly, But if you read the transcript, it doesn't work the best.

Tone is such a big thing. It comes instinctively in audio format, but it really is difficult to describe it in text sometimes, especially when it's a tense moment and you have to keep pushing forward instead of spending words to describe tone.

The good thing about writing about streamers is that if you use the right cues, readers can pick it up and picture that specific tone in their head. The bad thing is that this depends on the readers' knowledge and how good you are at describing. (The bad bad thing about this personally is that my OCs have weak character voices because I don't have canon basis.)

^ Bits of informality like stretching syllables and italics help. Like "oooh" is fundamentally different from "oh" and that is different from "ohhhh". And sometimes irl people do stretch syllables or pronounce them differently for humorous effect, but it can look unprofessional on text. (Like Scar's "a-maize-ing".) <- actually this can create distinctive character speaking styles and it's a cue to let readers immediately know who's speaking

Back to the action thing. These streamers are playing in a vc and they all hear each other, but realistically in action scenes, characters are gonna be in different places. There's volume to care about and voices getting lost in the chaos. But when writing, your focus is to push the story forward sooo realism is definitely not the priority

... Yeah. I'm giving my characters high quality communicators. And excellent hearing.

Dialogue in text is... intentional? You can see it in people snarking movies for having unrealistic dialogue. Its purpose is to convey something clearly. Dialogue in everyday life can contain a lot of blunders but that doesn't translate well in storytelling because we expect to learn something from dialogue. That's why it's there.

Transcribing videos and turning them into text based stories is an interesting exercise (and one that I keep on doing lol). It makes you more aware of the gap between irl and written dialogue and why there's a gap.

Godspeed to people who write dialogue between a group during an action scene. We all praise comms in MCC but it does give me a headache to write hahahaha.

[just-another-star-47]

🌶🌶 🔞 🌶🌶

Disclaimer: Please be aware that the following story is fiction and fantasy and written with the mindset, that Sebastian could never do anything that MC truly dislikes. Scenes like that need communication and clear boundaries in real life, so please reflect on the things you read.

Because I never hated you

Punishment

Because the poll wasn't so clear, there's a little sweet moment at the end. The rest is just angry Seb doing naughty things. 😅

She lay stretched out on the rumpled sheets, hands tied to the end of the bed, her whole body trembling from the last orgasms Sebastian had tickled out of her.

"I can't take more..." her voice was nothing than a pitiful whimper, her inner thighs sticky and quivering as she tried to move them.

"I'm not finished yet."

The cigarette he'd lit while her mind and body bathed in the heady after-effects of absolute bliss, hung between his lips and she hated how unimpressed he looked.

"Isn't it enough already?" she tried to protest again, stammering, but Sebastian just shook his head and calmly took a puff from his cigarette while his thumb traced circles over her clit.

"Not at all."

"Not at all?" Her startled words were drowned out by an exasperated gasp, as his fingers, which had remained still inside her until then, began to thrust deeper again. It was impossible to describe the feeling they were causing at this point. A mixture of absolute exhaustion and an equally fulfilling desire to experience the all-consuming ecstasy of another orgasm. Add to that the slight onset of pain from long overtaxed muscles and the shame of feeling his cool gaze on her while she whimpered and squirmed, not knowing whether her hips should push against the movements of his fingers or avoid them. A decision that was pointless to think about, as her body always decided in favour of the former.

She had long since realised that Sebastian was really angry, even if she didn't really understand the nature of the punishment.

Once again, her body tensed up before it began to pulsate in another high, her moans now almost stifled by the too much of everything.

Sebastian remained silent and when she looked at him with hazed eyes, he calmly returned her gaze, formed a ring of smoke and put his cigarette between his lips again. Perhaps this behaviour was the real punishment.

"I hate you..."

It was the last, cheap rebellion of her pride as her legs began to tremble again and she strained against the restraints on her wrists. But instead of having any effect, her statement made Sebastian laugh, rubbing his fingers against the most sensitive spot inside her to show her what he thought of her words.

"And because you hate me, you mess with older people who talk rubbish about me, huh?"

His laughter was replaced by a dangerous flicker in his eyes as he rammed his fingers deeper into her, making her gasp.

"I don't know what your fucking problem is."

Her defiance and resistance were feigned and her body, quivering with exhaustion and delight, gave it away.

"The problem is that you never think before you do something stupid. And that you've hurt yourself, beeing this stupid."

His anger spread from his eyes to his face and finally to his entire body like wildfire, blazing in his every move and in the way he forced her to a high again. But she welcomed the fire, much more comfortable burning than freezing to death from the chill of his rational rage.

"Don't.ever.do.that.again!"

Sebastian reinforced each of his words with a well-directed stroke of his fingers until his rhythm swelled and merged into her cries of rapture.

He leant his forehead against hers, his cigarette smouldering forgotten in the ashtray, his fingers running over her tear-stained cheeks and her bursted lip.

The sight of the latter alone made him think of starting the punishment all over again.

But the look in her eyes stopped him, completely exhausted she tried to blink away the tears that were proof enough that her body was incapable of dealing with the intensity of her feelings and emotions.

"I can take care of myself." The soft sound of his voice enveloped her like the smell of tobacco, which she had loathed before she knew Sebastian. Unable to answer, she let his soft lips run over her face, over her closed eyelids, to the tip of her nose and along the trail of her tears until they touched her lips softly like butterfly wings.

"Come here..." with whispered words he pulled her towards him, undoing the restraints on her wrists and wrapping her body in one of the blankets.

"I never want to see you put yourself in danger again because of a few stupid words. Do you understand me?"

She wanted to reply that it was just a busted lip and that she couldn't stand other people talking badly about him.

But instead she snuggled closer to him, knowing that he would hold her in his arms for as long as she needed to recover.

More of 90s Seb here.

[arcadiabaytornado]

What's your opinion on the scene where elliot finds chloe in the amber house? Whether he gets angry or delusionally "nice" about your complacency it always manages to make my skin crawl.

That scene is so well written, but I find it to be genuinely one of the scariest scenes in Life Is Strange for how real the interaction feels.

Life Is Strange is no stranger to dark topics. However, I think the darkroom is much less relatable than a woman having a male friend who decides that he's owed her affection because he's been "kind" to her. It's a very skin-crawling scene because I, and I suspect MANY other women, have experienced something similar before, so the anxiety for Chloe's wellbeing is well understood.

I also really like how Elliot is characterized because even though he keeps trying to make it seem like this confrontation is about Rachel...it's clear that the confrontation isn't really about Rachel. It's about Chloe not being with him after he was there for her, and then him getting set off when she gave Rachel the attention he felt like he was owed.

The scene is also a good characterization of a "nice guy" because he keeps telling Chloe how good he's been to her, and he says this while he throws things at her, shoves her, tries to isolate her from others to get her to rely solely on him, and tells her what she should be thinking. Elliot shows what type of boyfriend he would be if Chloe had returned his feelings. He would be an abusive one. And yet, horrifyingly, he honestly thinks he's her knight in shining armor, and Chloe is an idiot for not giving such a nice guy like him a chance.

More Undercut

I also like it's portrayal of Chloe's "complacency." A lot of times, women are given flake for being kind to unsafe men, or their experience is undermined because why would you be nice to someone you were scared of? This scene shows why you would be nice perfectly. Elliot seemed like the type to escalate, so the safest thing for Chloe to do was try to deescalate until she was safe. Unfortunately, that's also a realistic scenario, and I'm glad the scene was portrayed in a way that conveyed why women sometimes fawn in dangerous situations.

It's a really good scene for it's portrayal of a certain type of guy and how tense it makes the player feel. From the second you realize Elliot stalked Chloe from the hospital you realizes that he's not a safe person, but then he opens his mouth and you can just feel your stomach drop even further down.

[languagestudymaterials]

～まま grammar

～まま roughly translates to 'as it is' or 'in the state of,' but it covers a wide range of situations that are not always easily understood or directly translatable.

Context: Levi to himself in episode 2 (or 39), season 3. The legendary chase scene with Kenny. Levi just 'entered' the drinking establishment and said:

クソ このままじゃ部下もエレンもヒストリアも失う

Shit. If it goes on like this, I'll lose my men, Eren, and Historia, too.

部下 (ぶか) = subordinates (men)

失う (しなう) = to lose (people) (to lose a thing is 無くす (なくす))

Note: The English translation is a conditional sentence. Where is  ～たら、～なら、～ば、～と in Japanese? It’s well hidden!

このままじゃ = If it goes on like this

じゃ (colloquial style) ・では   (formal style)

However, some people say that this little じゃ means だと/ だとしたら and that’s where the conditional meaning is hidden.

で refers to states; more here Conditional sentences are here

But today’s grammar is ～まま. 

I already made a short post about it. Check it out too!

When I asked my Japanese conversation partners what it meant, they always said, 'As it is.' Well, that sounds simple, but that’s only one way to think about it.

"As it is" has three meanings in English:

already

the way it is 

with the situation that exists now

While you can use ‘as it is’ in your translation, I feel that in some contexts, it’s better to be more precise with your word choice or to make English sound natural.

～まま grammar

There’s no 1:1 translation. It’s better to learn it as a concept conveying:

States that can stay unchanged; remain in the same condition/state; e.g. I’m sitting and there’s no need to stand up.

～まま is used for static states, often contrasting with actions.

If something hasn’t changed for a while, we can use this structure as well; e.g. She has been like this since yesterday (like this = in a certain state).

You can also use it to express your current state/condition; e.g. I’m weak. My current state/condition is 'being weak.'

Like this/that = doing things in a certain manner.

At this rate = used to say what will happen if the present situation continues.

That’s basically it. 

So, what is Levi really saying?

この refers to Kenny killing Levi’s people and basically f*cking everyone's shit up.

まま refers to the fact that Kenny has been killing Levi's people for a good amount of time. It hasn’t changed from the start of the episode until the moment Levi uttered the sentence.

このままじゃ = If the state of Kenny (and Kenny's team) killing my people will continue…

In the post with Akaza and Rengoku

死んでくれ、Kyojuro、若くて強いまま

Akaza is asking Rengoku to die while his state is 'being young' and strong or to die to remain in this young and strong state.

Grammar mechanics

It’s a noun/adverb

noun + の + まま 

adjective + まま (don’t remove な from な-adj or い from い-adj)

demonstrative pronouns この; その; あの + まま

verbs + まま (past tense is very common in this case. Verbs in the past tense can act like adjectives; e.g. written language; 'written' is the past participle of 'write' and it acts like an adjective and adjectives = states.）

some passive forms + まま; e.g  言われるまま = as I am told (my current state is that I know some information, someone has told me something, my state is 'being informed/told')

ない verbs + まま = without

Note 1: なし can’t be used interchangeably with まま. なし (without) doesn’t refer to “being in a certain state. It refers to people, objects, or emotions. You want these things out of your life completely. Note 2: ～まま and ～ながら might seem similar, but ～ながら is used for action/dynamic verbs. Note 3: ～ままにする = to leave something untouched; to remain intact

Examples

The theory for this grammar isn't difficult to understand, but when it comes to real-life application, that's when the struggle starts.

Let's examine examples to get the hang of ～まま.

進撃の巨人

Context: Berthold to Reiner in season 3, episode 15 (or 52).

もし そうなれば何も分からないままだ

If that happens, we won’t learn anything.

Eren is carrying the boulder to seal the wall. He might get eaten by the other titans. Without Eren Reiner and Berthold won’t obtain any information.

ないままだ = negative verb form + まま = without knowing (their state will be 'uninformed')

Lit. We will be left in an uninformed condition if that happens (if Eren gets eaten)

もし そうなれば = conditional form

Context: Marlo to Hitch while looking for Levi who has just been pronounced a traitor (season 3, episode 4). They are discussing the future of the Survey Corps and the current situation.

調査兵団がこのまま解体されたら人類は…

If the Survey Corps gets disbanded like this, humanity won’t...

調査  (ちょうさ) 兵団 (へいだん) = Survey Corps

解体 (かいたい) = disband; disassemble [suru verb; here: passive form + conditional]  

人類 (じんるい) = mankind; humanity​

このまま is totally absent from the translation; however, it means 'in the current situation.' If you analyze the context in which this sentence has been said, it makes sense why Marlo said it.

In English, though, it seems unnecessary to say out loud: 'if this situation continues.'

We all know they are in a bad position. We can infer it from the context. However, 'like this' seems to capture the nuance of このまま.

Leaving out このまま would, probably, sound like a plain statement; an action that has no relation to current events. Some things are obvious to us (in English); some things have to be articulated in Japanese. 

Marlo is literally saying: If the current situation continues, Survey Corps will get disbanded, and humanity will…

At this point in the anime, Erwin has made a lot of risky decisions and that lowered the reputation of his squad.

そのままの姿勢で指示どおりに動く

Context: Marlo to Armin seconds before Levi and Mikasa ambushed Marlo and Hitch.

Stay in the same position and move as instructed.

姿勢 (しせい) = posture; pose; position [noun]

どおり = in accordance with; following​ [used as a suffix]

指示 (しじ) = instructions; directions​

動く(うごく) = to move

そのまま + の + noun = the [noun] remains as you see it; just the way it is/was; you are/were; just like that

そのまま refers to Armin’s position. He wasn’t holding any gun and had his hands up. Marlo wanted him to stay in that position.

Up next are examples from Naruto

それから気を失ってずっと　このまま…

Context: Sakura about Tsunade who used all her chakra to protect the village during Pain’s attack. She was unconscious.

She has lost her consciousness and has been like that since then…

このまま refers to Tsunade’s state. Unconscious state that remained unchanged for a while.

'Like that' = doing things in a certain manner = she was laying down unconscious.

That’s another example of when このまま refers to an action you need to see to get a better understanding.

From a different episode:

火影が逃げたままじゃぜ。

Context: Oonoki at the 5 kage summit. Sasuke showed up and wanted to act cool but he failed. Obito saved his uncool ass and then disappeared. All the Kages were discussing what to do with the situation. Oonoki mentioned Hokage who was still on the run.

Hokage is still running away.

逃げる (にげる) = run away

じゃ means  だ・です・である when it is placed at the end of a sentence.

ぜ and ぞ are sentence-final particles used (primarily) by male speakers which are more colloquial versions of the particle よ.

Past tense + まま = the verb happened and that hasn’t changed. Danzou ran away and at the moment of speaking, he was still running away.

Remember that past-form verbs act like adjectives. まま is a noun so the verb 逃げた describes/modifies the noun. Danzou is in 'a ran-away state.'

Zetsu vs. Madara

かつて Kaguya は この無限月読を人々にかけたが殺さずに生かしたまま保存しておいた

Context: Zetsu while killing Madara and explaining the biggest plot twist ever.

Once, Kaguya cast Mugen Tsukuyomi on people, but she didn't kill them, she kept them alive.

かつて once

生かす (いかす) = to let live; to keep alive

保存 (ほぞん) = preservation; conservation; storage; maintenance​  [suru verb; here in ～ておく form which means to do/prepare something (for yourself or for other people) in advance for future convenience]

殺さずに (ころさずに) = without killing

ずに vs. なし vs. まま

ずに means ‘without,’ but it can only be used with verbs. You can’t replace it with まま because it doesn’t imply that the speaker will stay in a certain state. Single actions. なし means ‘without’ as well, but it refers to people, objects or emotions.

Past tense  + まま =  the verb happened and the action of that verb continued. So, letting them stay alive continued for a while. Lit. For future convenience, she stored them in a living state.  

僕のヒーローアカデミア

Context: Todoroki while fighting Stain. He’s analyzing the situation.

俺なら 距離を保ったまま…

It'd be better to keep my distance...

俺なら = When it comes to me/Since it’s me [and my fighting style]… It would be better to keep my distance.

保つ (たもつ) = to keep; to preserve; to hold; to retain; to maintain; to sustain​

距離  (きょり ) = distance

past tense + まま = it’s better to be in a state of staying away (clumsy!)

One more example from the same episode:

Context: Endeavour about Nomu. He used some sick move on Nomu, and it survived the blow which surprised Enji.

意識を保ったままでいられるのは初めてだな

That's the first time someone has been able to stay conscious.

保つ (ともつ) = to keep; to preserve

意識  (いしき ) = consciousness​

past tense + まま = the verb happened. Nomu kept its consciousness​ and didn’t lose it when Enji was speaking. Nomu is in the state of being conscious.

で refers to states as well. I feel like まま +で is a common combination when we want to add more after まま.

More on that topic here.

One more example of that combination.

Context: The dog-looking police officer to Deku after their fight with Stain. They were in the hospital.

掛けたままで結構だワン (woof)

There’s no need to get up.

掛ける (かける) = to rest

結構  (けっこう) = well enough; OK; tolerable​

And we will finish this post with 呪術廻戦

Context: Gojo vs Jogo. Gojo is encouraging Jogo to hold hands… Gojo’s sass level...

僕は このまま握手してもいいんだけど ... てれるなよ

I don't mind shaking hands like this... Come on, don't be shy…

The translator aimed for sass and naturalness. Good job.

握手 (あくしゅ) = hand shake

～てもいい = it’s ok if we…

てれるなよ = to be shy; to be bashful; to feel awkward; to feel embarrassed​ [here in its imperative form “don’t be shy”]

んだけど is here

このまま = in this manner; like that/this. Here you really need to see the scene. We could say, (lit.) 'Our hands can remain in such a state.' You’re physically showing to your speaker what you want to do. 

Context: Yuuji is back alive. Gojo and Shoko discuss what to do about that (episode 6).

(Shōko) ああ…. 報告 修正しないとね 

The report. I have to fix it.

(Gojo) いや このままで いい

Nah. It’s okay as it is. (lit. it's ok in its current state)

More on で is here

And the conversation continues:

(Gojo) 硝子 悪いが  記録上  悠仁 (Yuuji) は死んだままにしてくれ  

Shōko, sorry, but Yuji needs to stay dead in the report.

このままで = Gojo says that the state of the report having Itadori marked as dead is fine.

死んだままにしてくれ = past tense + まま ＋にする = leave the record which is in the state of having Yuuji marked as dead intact.

～てくれ = to do a favor.

Context: Yuuji to Gojo in the basement (episode 6). He’s ok with staying hidden for a while because he can’t face Fushiguro and Kugisaki in his current state.

今のままじゃ あいつらに顔向けできねえよ

今のまま = in my current state… He thinks he’s weak and needs to gain more power to protect his friends.

～まま can be challenging because of its nuanced usage and context-dependent meaning, however, I hope these examples helped you understand the logic behind this grammar structure a bit better.

[castlebyersafterdark]

Is there anything in byler fics that gives you the ick if they have it? Like a specific thing about the characterization that you can't stand, or a certain type of scene happening that makes it hard for you to keep reading even if the fic is objectively well-written 🤔 You know, just your personal opinion lol

Hmmmmm. A few things, and I hate to focus on the negative or critical. But I think there are certain things that apply across the board with spicy stuff or sex scenes in general, but there's also a few points of characterization I don't really jive with for Byler. Under the cut so if someone's not here for critical vibes you can skip this one:

I think I've made it obvious I'm not into heavy dom/sub vibes. With some exceptions - a few fics I've really enjoyed played with the dynamic but they still gotta be Mike and Will, you know? And I so rarely like it. Overall - I don't think it fits them and I don't want to reignite this discussion so send an ask if you want but I'll prob read and ponder and let it sit. ANYWAY. I've dipped out if it sounds super out of character. They just wouldn't have a really really intense dynamic like this. There's a difference between leading in the bedroom and the other being a bit more passive or needy and dom/sub. You can write really rough sex and it not be dom/sub. It's mostly language use. And it's often a case of "He wouldn't fucking say that" with Byler for me. I'm... picky.

Calling someone master/sir is a huge turn off. Icky ick for me. A well placed, rare use of daddy is totally different though. (Not real into an extended scene about it as a d/s dynamic, that leads into secondhand embarrassment for me. But a little teasing implication can be so so good. With limits!!)

I pretty quickly nope out if the dirty talk is too degrading. I don't like that stuff. There's a difference in a cheeky moment of calling each other super needy or a fond little "you're such a slut right now" or "youre so desperate for this, look at you" like that's fine, that can be really hot. But actually degrading dirty talk is a huge turn off for me, irl and in fic, I'll admit that. I'm too sensitive to like it, even fictionally. Just makes me uncomfortable. I also don't like when the fic is supposed to be very early relationship or even their first time ??? and the dirty talk sounds like a bad adult film. What? Takes me out of the read, gotta say bye.

I lose interest when I can tell that they're doing anal with minimal foreplay or prep like to the point where I can't suspend my disbelief based on the action and description up until suddenly they're fucking. I can't take it seriously because the sex becomes nonsense and generic then. This extends to any fandom. Some don't care. But I care!! That's what makes it interesting to read. Otherwise you can swap in any characters and it's just sex scene mad-libs.

I don't typically like topWill in general unless special circumstances/good writing and made clear that they switch.

Oh wait, I think this is the definition of ick. I shrivel up and die at the word ravenette or too many epitaphs. JUST USE THEIR NAMES / PRONOUNS I could be loving a fic and then this happens and I physically feel my spine tense and I have to stop reading in case it's in the fic again. It just really feels embarrassing to me for some reason.

Specific to Byler? I kind of lose focus if it's mentioned even in passing that Will joined anything athletic in school. I'm one of those Will fans who's pretty staunch in the anti-athletic Will Byers agenda. He would never join a sports team. It throws off my groove!!!

These are all my opinions. You can do what you want!! I'm sure I do things and like things that people nope out of. That's why I encourage everyone to just do what you want and post what feels right for you. One man's yuck is another gal's yum is another person's fave is some dude's most hated trope. Mileage may vary and all that. Bless the archive for hosting everything and the ease of fic being at our fingertips. It's so easy to find new stuff and it's also easy to just back out of a fic that didn't jive - someone else might love it!! And that's cool!

[handkinkbis]

Show review: Destined with You.

So.... I might be in the minority, but as much as I enjoy Rowoon on screen I didn't start watching the show for him.

I was hoping for a witch/shaman Hongjo kdrama to finish near the eve of Halloween as the show seemed to be promising (very logically it seemed to be heading that way!). And she did cast some spells to my pleasure, but to my massive displeasure her witch arc was entirely forgotten about in favor of... not even sure what that kidnapping sequence was all about. Somehow most of Hongjo's agency as a character vanished into the ether as well during the past few episodes. Her character growth consisted of building the confidence to stand up to Nayeon, but her stubborn self reliance fueled by a lifetime of loneliness and trauma (her mother! Her father!!!!) stayed and was left unaddressed. And not to be dramatic, but I might die mad about it.

So past lifes were real, the curses and spells were real, Aengcho was really a shaman and the Gardener for whatever reason (also unexplored) wanted to marry Hongjo in the next life. But Hongjo in current day went from a strong, feisty character who was ready to spell cast her way in and out of trouble into... someone to intentionally get herself kidnapped??

It's like this show was written in the 2000s to early 2010s AND it hated women. I had high hopes for Ms. Ma, Shinyu's mother and Eunwol, but they were done DIRTY by this show. Hongjo's storyline was forgotten. Aengcho got relatively less attention compared to Mujin/Rowoon. It's like the main character changed somewhere and it became Shinyu/Mujin. Shinyu and Jaekyung had their cool lawyer moments (good stuff) and Hongjo got... Nayeon arrested? Nayeon, who was another villain without a proper depth or motivation other than being a 2010s kdrama era Mean Girl. Again, Hongjo and Aengcho were done so dirty. Even Shinyu's poor abused mother went back to her abusive husband AND she got pregnant. That was just tragic!

And kindly don't try to tell me that my reasons to dislike this show are wrong - I've every right to review and hate how badly this show butchered the stories of the female characters in this show even if Rowoon was hot in a bunch of scenes like that's going to compensate for it. I am not a Rowoon stan. 🤷‍♀️ I like him just fine, but it's been frustrating to watch as a non-stan since some stans seem to take any critique of the show as a slight towards Rowoon himself. But he has nothing to do with the writing, so put down your pitchforks, ok.

They should've stuck with the office romcom or made the show into a sageuk and dropped the false advertising of the show as a magic/fantasy drama. The sageuk era episodes SLAPPED. They were tense, beautifully shot and interesting, Aengcho had her moment! I LOVED her in her faceoff with the King, she was powerful and terrifying in that. And as soon as I fell in love with her, Mujin killed Aengcho (in a very meta symbolic way) and that was that. The show itself killed Aengcho and Hongjo.

This show was written to give Rowoon his cool and sexy moments. This was the Rowoon fan service show. Which is fine, but LEAD with that info then. I did enjoy Hongjo and Shinyu together and there were a couple of fun or emotionally compelling episodes, but I didn't finish with positive feelings about the show unfortunately because of the finale.

The writing of the show was exceptionally uneven and erratic. It seemed like from a different decade, but not this one. The relationship between Hongjo and Shinyu was mostly wholesome, but not always the healthiest for several reasons. Shinyu didn't always treat Hongjo well (and vice versa) and he made some decisions for Hongjo in true 2010s kdrama patriarch style.

Hongjo&Shinyu get 7/10 for being adorable and lovable. Loved their relationship development very much. I'm glad they didn't rush to have kids or to marry. The proposal at the beach while addressing Hongjo's dad was endearing.

Plot gets a 3/10 rating. There was potential... and it slipped through the writer's fingers. Loose threads were left untied. Side plots were abandoned or seemingly forgotten about.

Would I rewatch again? Maybe once I stop fuming about how Hongjo was treated by the show, but just for the Shinhong scenes. But it'll take some wound licking and fixit fic writing.

Please universe, give Boah better scripts. She's a wonderful actress and she deserves a role that's cool and that lets her showcase her talent. Many viewers seemed to lose their patience with her, even though the writing of the show was the true issue.

[merakiui]

I neeeeed ⭐ for death row undertow please it's how I found you and I still stay up thinking about sk!jade

Omg thank you for asking!!! :D I've written a little about the series here and here, but I'll discuss more below! Specifically Reader and Jade's relationship! (please forgive me for rambling. orz)

(ask game)

Originally, their relationship was going to be complete strangers! The early concept for DRU was a story that followed serial killer Jade as he looks for his next victim at speed-dating events (like a charming wolf eel in sheep’s skin). At one particular event, he meets Reader and the two of them click. From there he decides he’ll make her his next meal.

This was a concept I quite liked and it almost became the foundation for the story. But the more I considered it, I realized it might feel like a hollow plot without much dimension if it focused solely on Reader and Jade. I kept thinking, someone out there has to care enough for (Name) to want to look for her, right? The world may be stagnant when she’s trapped in Jade’s home, but beyond that it will inevitably continue. So surely someone will notice she’s missing. I want to portray that side, too.

Additionally, I wanted to write a story where readers can care about and root for the MC’s successes while actively hoping for Jade’s failure. I thought it would hurt more if Reader was on friendly terms and knew Jade before the kidnapping. It is said that many kidnappings are often someone you know rather than a stranger, so I thought it would be interesting to explore Reader’s fear and betrayal as she realizes her “friend” was never a true friend to begin with! And with this I considered dynamics and relationships outside of the main pairing (Jade x Reader). In the early plot, Reader wasn’t acquainted with any of the Octavinelle trio, but I eventually changed this factor when I began to write the improved version of the plot (which would also include the slow burn elements).

The early plot looked something like this: serial killer Jade kidnaps (Name) after connecting at a speed-dating event -> (Name) is terrified and lies about being pregnant to survive -> many terrifying things happen -> death of (Name) -> Jade gets to feast. Initially, I was content with this plot because it was sickening and thrilling, but it felt like something was missing. ^^;;; I worked hard to rewrite many aspects of the plot until it became a completely different version from my original imagining of it. :O

I thought it would be fun if Azul had an involvement with Reader. At first I wondered if they should be in a genuinely romantic relationship, but I liked the tension of a fwb situation much more. I like that Reader’s able to use Azul as her scapegoat in this situation. His presence is as useful as it is burdensome in her life. >:) it’s a transactional relationship that will make you wonder if there’s actual love there or just lust in disguise! Also, how else could Azul pull off his fake proposal if it was a real relationship without any strings attached? I really wanted to write a scene like that, but it would be more tense if Reader was constantly walking the tightrope of love or not love! Their relationship feels like the deep sea to me. What you see in the story isn’t even part of it. So much has yet to be explored… :)

As for Cater and Riddle, they were added as an afterthought. When I sat down to write the first chapter in summer of 2022, my mind blanked and I had no idea how to begin. Prior to plotting DRU, I was working on a wip in which Reader works part-time at a diner with Cater and Riddle. That (now abandoned) wip is where The Devil’s Delight comes from (as well as the Cater/Riddle/Reader friendship)! I was so attached to the aesthetic and the dynamics between the trio that I couldn’t just let it wither away into oblivion. So I worked it into DRU’s plot. It fit wonderfully with my vision, and so I could write smoothly from there! As a result of that, I’m very fond of DRU’s first chapter. :D it sets the mood I was hoping to convey perfectly!

Here are some notes from the (abandoned) wip that made it into DRU (aside from that note about the Mostro Lounge hehe):

I wanted Reader to have unique relationships with each of the side characters (not just Jade), as well as the characters themselves to have interactions with one another. I like portraying two sides of a thrilling crime story such as this one. There are plenty of exciting things planned, and a lot of relationship lore is set to be unveiled gradually. I hope you can look forward to it!!!! ( ´ ▽ ` )❤︎

[thehomelybadger]

26 Questions about Run at the Cup.

Hi!

Since I just finished off my 33 chapter Arcane/CaitVi Hockey AU fanfiction, I asked folks for any questions that they might have about the universe (or just for me) around the fanfiction. So I thought that I'd pull them all together, answer them in one big post, and then direct folks here.

These questions are mostly pulled from twitter or discord, and are asked anonymously. If you're new to it/have never heard of it, you can check out the fanfiction here:

My asks are always open if you want to pepper me with more questions - I literally love talking about my process and creating stuff. But yeah, let's get the ball rolling!

These questions have spoilers up to the epilogue (chapter 33) of Run at the Cup.

One of your original goals for RATC was to include a sex scene in every chapter, and you later decided that didn't suit the story that it ended up being. How far, exactly, did you stray from that goal?

I think the first disc stuck to the format of smut-a-chapter pretty well, but as soon as I got to chapter 7 and 8 in my planning, I really had to take a step back from the idea of smut-a-chapter. Part of doing that was a friend of mine pointing out that another fic - breakneck - already was a smut-a-chapter offering, and the other part was around chapter 7 and 8 was when we really got a look at the Landsman abuse and I wanted to focus more on telling a story of healing instead of a sexual relationship. It felt the best narratively for Vi to take a step back and appreciate boundaries, and at that point we were 100% of the rails of the original vision. I also had my friend Felix - he drew the art for the fic - point out that the story was way more important than the smut when I complained that sometimes I just wasn’t feeling up to writing smut.

Caitlyn obviously makes a point to never sleep with another hockey player except for Landsman and Vi. Vi rather vocally does not have that rule. Are there any players we see in RatC that she has a history of that nature with?

Ahh, crucially, Caitlyn and Vi both adhere to the rule of no teammates. I actually think both have had flings  with hockey players, but probably not anyone that we spend much time hanging out with. I hint at Sarah Fortune and Vi having a past-tense fling that I never really expanded upon, and at one point I wanted to write some Caitlyn and Evelynn one night stand stuff that never really felt right after I abandoned the whole smut-a-chapter premise.

There are so many characters in ratc, and so many povs, how did you get into each of their heads and give them all their own voice that stayed consistent throughout the story?

So one of my other hobbies - other than hyperfixating on a fictional hockey team - is dungeons and dragons as a forever DM. My rule for creating NPCs is to give them a ‘pillar’ - essentially one solid character trait that I can lean back on when viewing things through their lens. Claggor, for instance, was always trying to teach and never raised his voice. Poppy was always going to be cheerful and loyal. Leona was always serious, except when dealing with Diana. Mylo was never serious, until there was a weak moment. All of those ‘pillars’ helped shepherd me in the right direction - the only characters I didn’t really have a pillar for were the hockey announcers, who’s entire personality can be summed up as ‘hockey announcers’.

When did you realize this was going to become Big™ , or was this all the plan from the beginning?

If I ever knew when anything was going to be big in terms of wordcount, I’d be much more successful at writing. The real time I knew was somewhere in Disc 2 when I had written like 3 10k+ word count chapters in a row. I remember thinking ‘oh, shit, I’m fucked’. What’s crazy about this is that I still feel like I left some story threads on the table - I could write 80k more of just Sumprats shenanigans, easily. In terms of Big as in popularity - dude I have no idea when I knew. I still don't really believe it.

Which was your favorite smut scene to write?

Oh man - hands down the hotel smut scene in the Summer Isles  - though that’s technically cheating, because the smut doesn’t actually happen. But I can see it like a shot in a movie - the slow tracking shot over the discarded clothes with some energetic, strumming guitar over top while we see the bed come into frame, the pan over and continued tracking towards the bathroom - all this evidence of wild sex. If the question is ‘which smut scene that’s actually smut’, I’m going with the phone sex scene - it was good to finally get these characters admitting how much they liked one another.

How did you pick and choose which LoL champions (not from Arcane) you brought into your world? As there are so many available and ones you picked seemed to work so well. Was it 'character is hot/cool and I just want to write them', 'I need a champion that would play hockey/act in x way' or any other way

A variety of reasons! Illaoi was included solely because my wife thinks she’s super hot, but for me it became characters I really liked, characters I could see the personality of, and characters I could ape the kit of in some way. Ahri being charming and evasive, Illaoi’s tentacle-like poke checking, Diana being good in close, and Leona being a hard hitting defender were all nods to the league kits, among others. Basically, when I was filling out the roster and was out of Arcane character slots, I started grabbing characters based on what role I envisioned for them on the team and backfilled from there. I’m glad I did their personalities justice!

I'd love to know, if it isn't a bother for you to explain it, the process behind you deciding each character's position on the ice and skillset. I'm basically in awe of how you took each character from the show/game and made them each a particular type of hockey player. But you might have talked about this already so no worries if it's too repetitive!

It all depended on what I wanted to write for the most part, and I approached it from two angles - what was most interesting for me to write dynamically, as in action wise, and what was most interesting for me to write emotionally, as in what they brought to the Sumprats as a whole. I leaned on a lot of sports knowledge that I’ve accrued over my 31 years around the sun, and figured out what archetypes would be most fun and narratively satisfying to convey. So, as an example - Claggor’s soft and assured ‘we’re gonna get you out’ from the show was a big big reason why I made him an enforcer - the quiet confidence and clear smarts. Poppy being undersized but a major bruiser in the game led to her entire personality and playstyle. Ahri being a winking and confident figure in LoL lore led to her being a flashy and charming person with a lot of scoring - etc etc etc. It came together fairly organically!

If you had to pick another sport as the medium to tell the story, which sport would it be? Ik you were intending on making it a hockey story with lesbians vs a lesbian story with hockey, but do you think the sport and play of hockey specifically were integral to how to told the story/the journey of the characters?

This is such a tough question to answer, because I’m not sure I could’ve told it with any other sport. Hockey is inherently chaotic, and the beautiful thing about it is that it comes down to players - you can have a grand strategy, but sometimes it’s just ‘our player is the best on the ice’ and that’s enough. I think there’s probably a pretty awesome Rugby story in here, maybe - or football/soccer - I can see their roles with Caitlyn as an attacking midfielder and Vi as a sweeper or something, but both of those are far more team focused. Also, hockey is lesser known of the major sports, and I felt like talking about how goofy it sometimes is to folks who might not know about it.

What did you learn during/after writing this that you didn't expect?

Such a good question. I learned that I love writing big casts of characters and I learned that I have a knack for conveying what I see on the page. I also learned that I can tell a story that goes every way possible in terms of POV and style, and that having a bunch of threads to tie up is an awesome problem to have. I also learned that I’m somewhat fragile as a creator, and that taking steps to protect myself from having my feelings hurt doesn’t make me selfish - just makes me human.

If you had to support a team yourself (not including the Sumprats), who would you support and why?

Can you imagine Bilgewater Schooners twitter? Can you imagine how batshit insane it must be? I’d be 100% on board with that franchise.

Why wasn’t there more Grapes content?

You all weren’t ready for it. The world still isn’t ready.

Is there something you wished you could've explored more but didn't get the chance?

So many things. So so many things. This is why RATC is crazy to me in hindsight because I felt like I left a lot of meat on the bone when the fic is like 300k long and is one of the longest CaitVi fics around. SarcastCity and I joked about a whole sequence where Mylo strikes out with a bunch of women, I didn't get into the Evelynn sub-sub-subplot, I barely scratched the surface on MOST of the K/Da stuff that I wanted to do, CaitVi adopted a dog at one point, there was an entire anti-police side of the fic that I just cut because it didn’t really fit into the vibe of the fic (you can still see foreshadowing of it in early chapters), there was originally going to be an entire other side to the water reparations where we’d see grainy footage of Silco and Cassandra arguing about it and that’s how a lot of it was revealed - before I decided to make Powder more of a central figure in the documentary. The entire fic changed in a bunch of little moments. Art is cool that way - it kinda leads ya where you need to go sometimes.

Who was someone that you enjoyed writing a lot that you didn't expect to?

When I put Graves into the fic, I never would’ve expected to fucking love writing him as much as I did. As soon as I wrote his first book snippet, I knew that I needed to stop immediately because if I wasn’t careful he’d take over the entire fucking fic. Second place was every scrap of podcast content - it’s so addictive to write this meta-narrative bullshit about your own world building. It’s just giving you a reason to talk about your own fic in universe and I had to stop myself from writing 13 more Taylor Swiffer sequences. Lastly, twitter was always a blast to get going. Shout out to everyone who loaned me their likeness for that!

You’re a pretty big basketball fan Badger, and knowledgeable at that, is there any reason you chose Hockey besides you also liking it? Like, did you feel the “action” would be better?

There are no sanctioned fistfights in basketball, which was a huge L. In all seriousness, I considered a basketball fic before going with hockey because, while I love basketball with my whole badgussy, hockey has so much more meat on the bone with regard to playstyle and expression. You have hitters, shooters, goalies being weird, you’ve got gum chewing angry people and hockey stadium chants. Hockey is a vibe that I really was excited to convey, and basketball - to me, anyways - has less of a physical aspect to it and it’s a little less entertaining to write about. Baskets happen all the time in ball, but in hockey, a goal is celebrated by everyone on the ice, everyone gets a fistbump, and the action stops while the crowd gets to rewatch it over and over. You don’t get any better than that for narrative drama.

You've talked some about the sumprats superstitions, but who is the most superstitious and what are some sumprats superstitions

Ashe is probably the most superstitious, but all sports players are superstitious to some degree or another - especially hockey people. I think every time Leona tapes her stick up, she has to unwind the first piece once - because that’s the way she did it when she scored her first goal. Claggor probably wears the same style of socks that he had when he was 18. Riven’s skates are a size too small, because she believes it makes her faster. Graves needs Caitlyn to tap his post before every game he’s in net otherwise he won’t play.

What was the hardest part for you, as a writer, to get through?

The entire fic came together relatively quickly, honestly. I wrote it in less than a year and most of the time in big 2-6 hour chunks of my day. I think the most challenging thing from a craft standpoint was the Landsman Scandal - because it had so many moving parts and I was using a character invented solely for that sequence in wewon1, and you needed to like her and buy into her right off the bat. I also needed to balance out how heavy the chapter was with moments that the reader could breathe around - I didn’t want to evoke a desperate, awful thing, but I wanted to inform. It took a few days of serious brainstorming before I got it the way I wanted it, and even then I was making edits in the posting window of Ao3. But in terms of actual hardness to write - the run up to the finals was really tough to get through because I felt like not much was happening narratively and I really needed to work at it to get it where I wanted it. The actual physical typing of the story wasn’t hard, but the games were annoying me a lot - they always felt too slow or sluggish or poorly conveyed. The thing I’m most proud of looking back is definitely the Powder chapter - I wish I had done more of that.

Why is Landsman so hot? Why did you have to make Landsman so hot? Should I speak with my therapist about this?

Oh yes. Immediately.

The story focused on Cait and Vi but as a whole was a story about team dynamics - little pieces like Hot Girl Shit, characters we would consider unremarkable as irl players like Poppy or Mylo, the gradual push of Graves to Ekko as main tendie - that grew into their own stories. Was this a case of supporting cast offering spontaneous great idea opportunities that you went along with, or was it always planned that X character would get X storyline?

I didn’t really set out with these storylines in mind, but one of the things I wanted from the get was this line to be true: “Usually, it’s the people who sit five, six seats from the starting lineup that give you the edge. Our job as leaders is to make sure that when those folks’ numbers get called, they’re ready.” - Vi, chapter 4. I wanted to basically reinforce that idea by having the players grow into something that was stalwart and could be relied upon, and just let the characters kinda swirl around with that idea. I didn’t realise that Ashe would wind up being so important but I kind of fell in love with her as I wrote her game - same goes for Riven’s speed and Darius’ faceoff potential. 

Which supporting character that isn’t Mylo ended up being your fave?

If it’s cheating to say Sevika, then I loved Poppy. Every scene Poppy is in I just had a blast writing, but gum-chewing, constantly glaring, scowling while insisting she’s smiling Sevika really leapt off of my keyboard. If I allow myself to take credit for any one thing, it’s casting Sevika as a coach.

if Vander hadn't died and had become the Sumprats coach instead of Sevika, would Vi still have been drafted by them and how would she have felt about it? 

Woof. It’s hard to see Mel hiring Vander, but say that she did and Vander coached Vi - adult Vi, 32 year old Vi with all she feels towards him - I can only really see it as Vi demanding out. She wouldn’t have the ego to get him fired, but I don’t think she’d be willing to play for him after everything. I also think the Sumprats are nowhere near as good with Vander as a coach - in my head Vander was good enough to drill Vi’s lessons into her head but had no idea how to keep a team intact, and that was Sevika’s specialty - the ‘us vs them’ mentality is all her.

I'd love to hear anything about your writing process. When you do it, how you think and feel about it, etc.

My writing process begins with having a very patient wife who puts up with me being glued to a screen for 6 hours at a time while talking to myself - usually in funny voices or imitating crowd yelling. I also do a lot of my dialogue in the shower where nobody can judge the faces I make - most of Caitlyn’s speech and the podcast dialogue came from me showering and yelling to myself, getting hyped up, and trying to remember lines. I basically do my functional adult tasks with the sequences I want to convey running on my head in a loop, until it’s time to sit down and crank it out. One part of my process that I don’t recommend is that when I sit down to write, I don’t get up until the chapter’s done. For me it’s a straight shot or it doesn’t get done at all - I need the entire flow to work on that one sitting. It has the side effect of my wife watering me and feeding me while I’m glued to banging words out onto a screen, and occasionally I’ll come up for air to refill my water battle and talk to her about her Animal Crossing island or something - anything - that isn’t hockey lesbians, before I go back to my cave.

obligatory question about which scene you were most looking forward to writing

So, chapter 32 was basically in my head the entire time I was writing the fic - everything between chapter 2 and 32 was me impatiently jiggling my leg waiting until I could write the Won’t Back Down song from the crowd. But the more surprising bit was how much I was looking forward to the karaoke scene - I wound up putting it off a few times in the fic until I was finally able to lock it down right after the Landsman Scandal, which felt like a great time to put it - just the idea that we all could use a break - as readers and characters in the story - and then we get one. Also, Pray is a fucking HILARIOUS song and I love that I got to use it.

if caitlyn and vi were to have a dog in this universe, what kind, what would they name it, and what would jinx choose to call it instead

This was actually a cut plot point at one time - the dog adoption sequence. They have a boxer named Bowser who has three legs, and Powder calls him Leonardo because it’s not his name but he squints sometimes like DiCaprio, and one time he ate an entire cheese pizza.

actually, kind of bouncing off my other question, are there any scenes that weren't originally planned that you really like?

Originally, there was no Melvika - it was a Melora subplot. But then I wrote that initial conversation between Mel and Sevika where they meet and Sevika passes her test and I thought to myself ‘oh.’ Every single Melvika moment was unplanned but I loved crafting it, showing this little love story in the margins of the page that was slowly and steadily unfolding.

Did you decide to change any major plot points after you'd started writing?

Two major ones: First and most impactful, there was going to be a riot in the original story that led to the team rallying behind the city - it was going to be this sequence of each of the Sumprats walking into the practice facility saying ‘have you heard, yet?’ that tied in what actually happened. But it felt tonally out of place and I was already really invested in exploring the abuse aspect of the fic, so I scrapped it - it’s a story worth telling at some point but the feel-good underdog sports fic wasn’t the place to explore that space. Another more impactful thing that certainly won’t be surprising to some: Vi’s injury was initially going to be a career ender. When SarcastCity and I started talking around the end of Disc 2, I actually told her that version of the story - that Vi’s knee is busted irrevocably and Caitlyn has to win without her, and the two have to find their way towards one another in a bittersweet finale without hockey to unite them. SC talked me around on that one - made the case that Vi and Caitlyn deserved to play hockey together for years and years, and after thinking about it for a while it really truly felt like I was being sad and dramatic for sad drama’s sake - angst for angst’s sake isn’t something I wanted to play into. So I changed it and it’s a lot, LOT better as a result.

How did you keep everything in order? Did you have an outline?

Calling it an outline is kind of insulting to other outlines, I think - I had an unhinged and fucked up google sheets document that listed the players, positions, and general vibe of their character arc, but I didn’t totally stick to it. I also had a chapter title list that I also changed a lot - I mostly knew my end point was ‘Caitlyn skates for 20 minutes and they come back to win in Game 5 with an injured Vi’ and worked my way to that point.

Thank you to all who submitted questions! If you have more, feel free to drop me a line.

-Badger

[tmae3114]

3 and 4 for any fic! Tell me about your favourite stuff you've ever written!

Ask Game

!!!!!!!!!!!!! This is a day later than I intended to answer, partially because I ended up being Busy And Tired after work yesterday, partially because I fully did take this as an excuse to go reread all my favourite things that I've written

3: What’s your favourite line of narration?

I thought about this one for a while because I've produced some turns of phrase of which I am very proud over the years. This is very much a case of 'it changes by the day' but I do, for now, have a solid answer!

It's this bit of Painted By An Accidental Brush

Paultin snorts and shoves him in the shoulder, which knocks him into Evelyn, who promptly collides with Strix, and Paultin apparently expected more resistance because he overbalances and all four of them topple to the ground in a mess of squawking, shrieking, and tangled limbs. Diath is pretty sure he hears at least one plate break. Lying on the floor in a pile of his friends, he laughs.

I've been incredibly fond of this bit ever since I wrote it, for a number of reasons. One is that I feel like it properly captures the elements of the party dynamic that I loved in the original show really well, along with the personalities of the characters. Another is that I think it delivers on the atmosphere and emotion I was going for perfectly. And a third, which is the primary reason it's taking the 'favourite' spot at the moment, is that I actually struggle quite a bit with group scenes in my writing. They challenge me! Put more than three characters in a room together, all interacting with each other, and I start losing track of people and worrying all the time about the Potential Implications of who's talking most and who fades into the background and so on. About half the reason that I put chatfic segments in We Are Full Of Stories To Be Told is because portraying the dynamics of Tomix's friend group via groupchat gave me an excuse to avoid writing them physically in the same room (the other half of my reasoning was that I liked the idea of incorporating group chats as part of the worldbuilding & such of the fic, given it's set in the in-universe future XD) And this bit of narration is the end of a four character group scene that I'm still proud of and think I balanced well and, in a way, a miniature four character scene to itself. That more than earns it favourite status.

4: What’s your favourite line of dialogue?

Okay, so, I knew the answer to this immediately, but alas, my favourite bit of dialogue I've ever written for a fic is as-yet-unpublished and also for a scene that I absolutely refuse to spoil, so I cannot share it

I can, however, pick a runner-up. Which, on this occasion, is this part of the Hero & Tomix reunion in I'll Be Alive Next Year

“Tomix?” they ask, something impossibly fragile in the simple question. “I didn’t go,” he says, their last words to him ringing in his ears “I’m sorry it took me so long to make it back. I’ve missed you, my friend.”

I've written a whole bunch of fix-it fic reunions for these two and I have even more in the works but I don't think I'll ever quite top the sheer satisfaction that was having the first words Tomix says to the Hero after convincing them that he's real be a direct response to their last words to him before he died ("Don't go..."), with a bonus quoting his last words in the past tense because he lived ("I'll miss you" when he thought he was dying -> "I missed you" when he knows he'll get to live)