#the teeth close up is actually referenced from my own teeth!

[funnydishserver42]

Nothing Wrong About It

Here’s a (cheesy) mellodramattic comic I made a couple weeks ago that I’m really proud of. I apologize for the bad coloring; finding the perfect colors is really hard when you’re doing traditional art with limited options for colors, so you end up having to work with what you have. Which is why Mello looks like he got spray-tanned. (I put my soul into trying to make him not look orange with the colors I had, since I headcanon him with a more tan complexion, so please don’t attack me lol)

I hope this resonates with a lot of you! And I’ll be submitting this for the free day prompt for @mattmelloweek.

[biblicallyaccuratemeat]

A Firm Hand

MDNI!!!

A/N: I posted this on ao3 a little bit ago, so I figure why not post it here too! Beta read by @teaflavoredwitch Bucky Barnes x female reader, past Steve Rogers x reader implied/referenced, cheating, alcohol, kind of dub con if you squint, p in v sex, dom!Bucky, protective Bucky, dirty talk, kitchen sex, spanking, fingering, drunk sex, size kink, friends to lovers, angst and porn, shamelessly self-indulgent

Word Count: 5.3k

Steve Rogers is a jackass.

Captain fucking America, mister cherry pie and morals, was a self-righteous prick. Bucky had never felt more pissed off at Steve in his one hundred plus years of living than he does right now. You curled up in his bed, bawling your eyes out and practically chugging some cheap magnum bottle of whiskey. 

Steve, who apparently didn’t believe in too much of a good thing, when he decided to stick his patriotic dick in Sharon Carter of all people. Of course, you found out. Steve was a terrible liar despite having the balls to actually cheat on you. You don’t know why you immediately go to Bucky, but you do. In the year you’ve been dating Steve, you became rapidly closer with the former Winter Soldier. Perhaps it was the forced proximity, or maybe you were just kindred spirits.

Bucky, of course, falls for you. Hard and fast like an idiot. Forced to pine after his best friend’s girl as if his life wasn’t already a fucking sob story. Always the dutiful friend, listening to you vent about the pitfalls of your relationship with Steve and trying to offer sound advice. Bucky learns to tame the green eyed monster inside him, finding contentment as your friend and confidant. 

When you show up on his doorstep at eight o’clock on a Saturday night, he knows Steve fucked up. He knows it without you even having to say a word, because he knew this would happen. He knew, on some level, that Steve didn’t deserve you. Not that Bucky deserved you either, god knows he was even less deserving. But you went to him, so that has to mean something, right?

The intensifying of your sobs pull Bucky out of his reverie, head snapping in your direction again. Some commercial blares on his shitty little TV in the corner of his bedroom, Even the Nights Are Better playing in the background on some allergy medicine ad. 

“T-this was our song!” You wail, burying your face in a pillow as your body shudders with the force of your sobs. The bottle of whiskey remains clutched in your hand. If it weren’t for your inconsolable state, Bucky might’ve been impressed and slightly turned on at the way you chug the whiskey. A woman after his own heart.

Bucky grimaces, perched next to you, stock still, “Okay, dollface, I think that’s enough whiskey.”

He feels awkward and stilted, like his skin is on too fucking tight and the room is too warm. He feels way too self-aware, he’s tuned in to every little sniffle and hiccup.

Seriously, fuck Steve for this. Not only for breaking your heart, but also creating the perfect storm. You, vulnerable and drunk in his fucking bed of all places. A wet dream come to life, if he’s being honest.

He needs to get the whiskey from you. He practically has to pry it out of your hands, amber liquid sloshing inside the nearly empty bottle. Fuck. He should have cut you off way earlier. He grabs the remote, clicking the mute button, “Honey, let’s take some deep breaths, yeah?”

Bucky tries to smile reassuringly but it’s tight and stretches over his teeth in a weird way that makes him look more machine than man. You peer over the edge of the pillow smushed against your face, doe eyes blinking owlishly at him, “Deep breaths?” You echo, incredulously, “You want me to take deep breaths when I walk in on my boyfriend tongue deep in that blonde bitch? Are you fucking for real, Bucky?”

Bucky’s mouth opens and closes rapidly, like a fish out of water. He sure fucking feels like one, incredibly out of his depths. He’s not equipped for this, a tornado of hormones and heartbreak. His stupid silence somehow seems to agitate you even further, angelic features twisting and morphing through every stage of grief in a matter of seconds.

Your anguish quickly gives way to fury, chucking the pillow across the room, “Has he always been like this? Huh?” 

Bucky blinks taken aback, “What? Steve?” He sighs, running a hand through shortly cropped hair, “No, doll, he hasn’t always been like this. I’ve known Steve since we were kids, and he’s never been a saint but he’s not usually an inconsiderate, lying, cheating asshole either.” Bucky’s voice is hard and contemptuous.

Bucky takes your dainty hand in his, squeezing reassuringly, “Hating Steve isn’t going to make this better. It’s not going to erase the pain he caused,” He pauses, pursing his lips as he tries to find the right words, “You gotta let yourself feel this, dollface. Feel the anger, feel the hurt, the betrayal. Don’t suppress it, because that’s just gonna make it fester.”

His jaw clenches, teeth grinding together. Bucky silently attempts to work through his own feelings on the matter. On one hand, his never wavering loyalty to Steve, his brother in arms and every sense of the word. On the other hand is you. Heartbroken, far too lovely for his comfort and the odd, delicate bond between you two. Bucky swallows, his mouth filled with a metallic taste as he fights down the ever growing urge to hunt Steve down and beat him within an inch of his life. 

He realizes you’re staring at him, gaze hard, “Why didn’t you warn me?” You ask in a quiet, hollow tone that makes Bucky feel like his heart is going to shrivel up in his chest.

Running a hand down his face, Bucky huffs, “Warn you?” He echoes, “Honey, I… I didn’t know.” He implores, clenching his fists in his lap, “I swear to God, if I had known he was being such a fucking prick, I would’ve put a stop to it, I would’ve beaten the information out of him myself.”

“You didn’t know?!” You throw your hands up in the air, gesturing wildly, “You didn’t have a single fucking inkling? I don’t believe that for a second, Bucky,” You hiss, movements jerky and agitated as you tousle your hair, “You didn’t think to say, “Hey doll,”” You begin to mimic Bucky’s voice, “‘You’re about to date the goddamn devil!’”

Holding his hands up in a placating gesture, Bucky scoots back. Your accusation stings, hitting a nerve he hadn’t known was exposed, “Hey, hold on just a damn minute,” He says, his voice rising in defense, “I’m not fucking psychic, dollface. I knew Steve could be an inconsiderate ass sometimes, but I didn’t know he was straight up cheating on you.”

Bucky scoffs, a mixture of shock and anger coursing through his veins, “I’m not going to apologize for not knowing what my so-called best friend was up to behind your back. That’s not fucking fair.”

His gaze softens slightly, his voice lowering to a more conciliatory tone, “Listen, I’m sorry I didn’t see the signs earlier. I’m sorry you got hurt. But don’t think for a second that I would’ve ever encouraged you to be with someone who would treat you like this. You mean too damn much to me for that.”

You’re still pissed, of course. Feeling self-destructive, though Bucky’s heartfelt declaration hits deep. Your chest rises and falls rapidly, a feral kind of rage filling you, “Oh yeah? Well… you’re… You’re an ass!” You shout, a half-hearted insult. You weren’t really trying, you just wanted to burn bridges. You push yourself out of the bed, stomping out of the room. Slamming the door for good measure, the sound echoing through the apartment like a gunshot. Storming into the kitchen, you begin digging through Bucky’s sparse cabinets for more liquor.

Bucky stared after you, stunned and hurt by your somewhat childish outburst. Your accusations burned like salt in a fresh wound. He stood there for a moment, anger and confusion warring within him. Then, with a fierce scowl, he stalked after you, his long strides quickly closing the distance between his bedroom and the kitchen.

The floorboards creak under his heavy footsteps as he follows the path down the hallway. When he reaches the kitchen, he grabs the doorframe, leaning in. “Hey, wait a fucking minute.” He all but growls, his voice a deep, dangerous rumble. “I know you’re hurting, but you don’t get to just accuse me of being an ass and then stomp away like a fucking toddler.”

He steps further into the kitchen, a breath away from crowding you against the counter, “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about Steve being a prick, but I won’t accept you throwing blame at me when I'm trying my goddamn hardest to be here for you!”

Bucky leans back against the counter, scoffing, “We both know you’re better than this, sweetheart. Don’t let Steve’s mistakes make you forget that. I’m not the enemy.”

You snatch a bottle of vodka out of the cabinet, there’s no more than a few sips left. You down it in one go, sighing tiredly, “I don’t need you to be here for me. I don’t need you to fix me, Bucky. I’m not some little dolly for you to glue back together. You don’t need to make your fucking amends with me.”

Bucky’s expression hardens, snatching the bottle from your hands, “Watch your fucking tone,” He whispers, cornering you against the counter. There’s a glimmer in his eyes, you see it. The Winter Soldier lurking in the back of his psyche. It sends a perverse thrill down your spine.

“I’m not trying to fix you. You’re not some damn doll, I know that. I’ve always known that.” He pauses, taking a deep breath, “I’m here as your friend, to listen, to support you. But I won’t allow you to take your anger out on me, honey.”

You’ve never been good at knowing when to quit, it’s never been your strong suit. Now is not an exception, you double down on your brattiness.  

“Don’t tell me to watch my fucking tone, I’m not a child.” You hiss, scowling up at him. He towers over you, all muscle and man. Damn him for being so fucking tall, built like a skyscraper. You damn near have to be on your tiptoes at this point, it’s ridiculous. 

He grasps your chin hard, cheeks smushing up and lips forced into a pout, “Watch it, little girl,” He murmurs lowly, licking his lips, “You can be mad. You can scream and shout and curse until you’re blue in the face. But you don’t get to talk to me like that.”

Those sapphire eyes flashed with a mixture of anger, frustration, and a hint of something else, something that made your insides feel molten and heady.

“I’ve taken a lot of shit for the people I love. I’ve been beaten, tortured, and turned into a fucking weapon. But damn if I’m going to stand here and take your anger when all I’m trying to do is be here for you.” Slowly, deliberately, he leans in closer until his breath is hot against your pursed lips, “I know you’re hurting. I know you’re angry. But I won’t let you push me away, dollface. I won’t let you be self-destructive.” His voice drops to a fervent whisper, “You fucking try me, sweetheart. I’ve dealt with terrorist threats and mad titans. Fuck, I’ve been a terrorist. You think a little thing like you is going to scare me off?”

Bucky’s hand snakes around to the back of your neck. You whirl around, the world spinning, and he pushes you face first into the hardwood. You all but shriek in surprise, eyes comically wide. Your left cheek squished on the cool flooring, shoulders pinned down. Your knees prop your ass up in the air, curving your spine into a sharp arch. He has you right where he wants you, submissively positioned. An offering, your perky backside up in the air invitingly. Your body betrays you, a fucking shiver of pleasure wracking through you. You can feel your cunt leaking eagerly at Bucky’s manhandling. 

You wonder if he realizes the effect this is having on you. All thoughts of Steve and his betrayal fly from your mind as your pussy throbs in time with your rapid heartbeat. Shame and arousal burn your cheeks, you squeeze your eyes shut, trying to will away your body’s traitorous reaction. 

This is Bucky. This is fucking Bucky. Steve’s best friend, your weird friend-ish acquaintance. You know him because of Steve. This is a bad idea, horrible. You need to put a stop to this immediately before you actually let him have his way with you on the kitchen floor. Because you’re heartbroken, you’re pissed, and you’re far wetter than you’ve been in months. You’re too vulnerable and fucked up, not to mention drunk to make a sound decision right now. And you know, you fucking know if Bucky asked to rail you within an inch of your life… You’d say yes.

So, “Bucky, uh,” You begin to protest meekly, all the fire and spit on your tongue moments ago evaporating.

The hand that is now pressing down in the middle of your back and pinning your sternum to the ground increases in pressure fractionally. A silent warning of the consequences of pushing back even further.

The words die on your tongue, you focus your gaze on a piece of lint by your face and huff. 

But then, slowly, deliberately he brings his hand down on your upturned ass. Delivering a sharp smack that echoes through the room. A surprised shriek of indignation rips from your throat, equal parts horrified and aroused. The stinging pain radiates across your tender flesh, a stark contrast to the coolness of the floor beneath you. “What in the fuck are you doing?” You demand angrily, scowl deepening.

“Keep testing me, honey, and I’ll show you exactly what happens to bratty little girls who don’t listen,” Bucky punctuates his words with another sharp smack to your ass, watching as the flesh and fat jiggle and redden beneath his organic palm.

He drapes his muscular torso across your back, leaning over your bent form. His breath is hot against your ear, his body a heavy, unyielding weight pressing down on you. It’s a comforting contrast from the rough treatment your butt is receiving, like a warm weighted blanket. 

Despite your best efforts to stay quiet, a tiny breathless noise escapes your throat. Halfway between a moan and a squeak, the flush staining your cheeks darkens further. You bite your bottom lip hard enough to draw blood, simultaneously mortified and turned on.

Momentarily caught off guard, the super soldier freezes, his vibranium hand resting on the curve of your hip. A look of shock and disbelief crosses his handsome features. He had expected anger, perhaps even more fighting back, but never in a million years did he think you would react so unabashedly with desire.

For a moment, Bucky simply stares down at you, taking in the pretty flush of your cheeks, the way your lips parted around that sinful little noise. His cock, hard and heavy, strains through his jeans and presses into the curve of your ass. That all-consuming hunger that HYDRA tortured out of his system returns with a fucking vengeance. His blood sings in his veins at your little noises and rushes to his dick. 

A low, strangled groan escapes his throat as Bucky tries desperately to grasp at the last vestiges of self-control. His hand digs into the fat of your hip, squeezing and kneading almost unconsciously, “Fuck, honey…” He murmurs, his tone ragged with the overwhelming heat consuming you both, “Are you… are you getting off on this?”

Bucky moves impossibly closer, chapped lips brushing against the shell of your ear, “‘Cause if you are, honey… I’ll fucking wreck you and I won’t be held responsible for it.”

“Shut up,” You whine weakly, your shame and arousal fighting for dominance. Despite your half-hearted protest, you arch your spine deeper. You’re soaked, you know it. Embarrassingly soaked, probably through your fucking sweatpants at this point. Your cunt aches, feeling too empty. Bucky’s dark promise of wrecking you? Fuck if it doesn’t make you clench around nothing, needy and debauched. He’s barely touched you and you’re sure if he so much as brushes past your clit, you’ll cum harder than you ever have in your life.

Bucky’s eyes darken with lust as you arch your back, presenting your ass to him like a cat in heat. A low, approving growl rumbles deep in his throat. The hand on your hip slides back to palm the globe of your ass, sinking into the fatty flesh. You hope it bruises, god you want him to mark you. You want that vibranium arm to rip you into pretty little chunks and remake you into something new. Something Steve’s never touched, never kissed, never held.

“Shut up? Honey, the way you’re acting, you don’t want me to shut up,” He taunts, his voice a deep, seductive murmur.

That rips a pathetic whimper from your throat, eyes fluttering shut, “I’m too drunk for this.”

Bucky hums, “Yeah? You’re a big girl, you know how to say stop.”

You shudder, all but melting beneath him, “I’m too sad for this.”

Smack!

This time Bucky’s metal arm meets your ass cheek, you jolt, gasping. You’re panting openly against the hardwood, eyes screwed shut and blushing like a virgin. The intoxicating mixture of stinging pain and molten pleasure are far more powerful than the whiskey in your belly.

The former Winter Soldier all but rips your sweatpants down, bunching them around your knees. The cool air against your newly exposed skin makes you shudder, a perverse shiver racing down your spine. The rough, calloused pads of Bucky’s fingers dig into the tender flesh of your ass cheek, kneading and squeezing the malleable muscle possessively, “Fuck, baby, look at this ass… you’re fucking perfect,” He groans approvingly, hips rocking forward to grind his clothed erection against you, “Steve was a goddamn fool to ever even look at another woman.”

Without warning, he brings down his palm hard against your bare ass, the sharp crack of skin against skin filling the otherwise silent apartment. The biting ache blossoms across your nerves, quickly followed by a rush of heat and traitorous surge of arousal, “Maybe this is what you need, honey. You need to be manhandled, huh? I gotta slap that bratty attitude of yours outta your ass?” Bucky coos mockingly, dragging his blunt nails down the rapidly reddening skin.

You breathe shallowly, fuck it feels like you’re barely breathing as is. This is a side of Bucky you’d never dreamt of seeing, not even in your wildest dreams. He was always so stoic, quiet. It was like you were friends with a brick wall that used to be a sleeper agent. But this? Domineering, taunting, merciless Bucky? You were fucking drenched.

You hum in agreement, wiggling your ass back, too far gone now. Any sense of decorum or boundaries flies out of your little bird brain. All you know is Bucky’s punishing hand and his rock hard dick pressing against you.

He shifts, maneuvering your wrists to hold them firmly over your head with one large hand. He brings the other down on your backside in a series of sharp, biting slaps. A red handprint blooms across your skin, a brand. The pain gives way to a dizzying liquid heat that has you squirming and whining under him.

“Fuck, listen to you… making all those pretty little noises for me,” He pants, hips grinding slowly against the curve of your butt. Bucky was throbbing in his pants, achingly hard and straining angrily in the confines of his jeans, “Keep making those noises and I’ll bust in my fucking pants, honey.”

You can feel it now, how soaked you are. The cotton gusset of your panties clings to your puffy lips like a second skin. The evidence of your arousal is impossible to miss, the dark spot growing rapidly with each slap and taunting murmur. You rub your thighs together needfully, desperate for some kind of relief. Bucky’s gaze narrows in on your needy display, grinning wolfishly, “Fuck, honey, you’re absolutely soaked through,” His lips brush against your ear as he speaks, rolling his hips teasingly into your backside, “Is this what you need, doll? To be put in your place, spanked until you’re a needy, desperate little thing?”

Holding your wrists firmly above your head, his vibranium hand slides around your hip, fingertips brushing teasingly along the sticky fabric of your underwear. The material clings to your swollen, aching folds. 

“You leaking just for me, honey?” Bucky murmurs, nipping at your ear. He brushes the edge of his nail across the swollen bundle of nerves at the apex of your thighs. It’s so light that you almost don’t feel it, but you do and you sob in relief at the slightest touch. Your legs tremble, threatening to give out under you.

Bucky continues his maddeningly light caresses, “So fucking wet and ready for me…”

He circles your clit with the pad of his thumb, cool vibranium meeting feverish, swollen flesh. It swells and throbs under his ministrations. His fingers continue their unhurried exploration of your pussy, a single digit circling your entrance. You feel it push in slowly, sinking in one knuckle at a time. Your pussy flutters and clenches around the invading pressure, eager to be filled.

“This is what you needed all along, isn’t it honey? To be touched like this, to have someone take control and make this needy cunt drip?” He slides a second finger knuckle-deep into your dripping hole, pumping them in and out of your clinging heat as his other hand delivers harsh, biting strikes to your backside, “That’s it, honey, fucking take it.”

The thought of Steve’s vanilla, lackluster lovemaking paled in comparison to the passionate, almost feral way Bucky was claiming your body now. And his dick wasn’t even out yet. He could feel every inch of your silken skin trembling and quaking with need, your breathy cries and whimpering music to his ears. The tender, almost gentlemanly approach Steve usually had taken with you had left you wanting, craving something far more intense and fulfilling.

Bucky eases his fingers out and peels your panties from your sticky cunt, shucking the fabric to bunch it around your knees with your sweatpants. He reaches out once more, his calloused palm cupping the warm, plush flesh of your ass. He could feel the heat radiating off your skin, could feel the way your muscles clenched and trembled beneath his touch. His fingers sank into the giving flesh, squeezing. 

“If you don’t fuck me right now, I think I’ll die,” You whisper, needy with shame burning your cheeks. And in that moment, it may as well have been true. To drive the point home, you wriggle your ass back against his groin, a clear invitation.

Bucky groaned, the sound torn from deep in his chest. His cock throbs and jumps at your needy words, desperate to be balls deep in your tight cunt. Faintly, he realizes he should hesitate, take a moment to think this through. But the way you presented yourself so wantonly to him made every logical thought fly out the window. He couldn’t resist, not you, not like this.

His hands flew to his belt, working it open with shaking hands. He quickly shoved his boxers and jeans down his thighs, freeing his aching cock. It sprang up, long, thick, and flushed a deep, angry red. The swollen head was leaking pre-cum, a bead of moisture rolling down the shaft. He wrapped a hand around it, stroking himself a few times, before shifting closer to you. Bucky sweeps the tip of his cock through your folds, from hole to clit, coating himself in your sticky slickness. 

You gape at his dick, eyes wide as you peer over your shoulder. He’s fucking huge, because of course he is. Thick and girthy, this is going to hurt, you realize. And though that should deter you, or at the very least make you anxious, it only makes you wetter.

“Fuck,” You whisper, struggling to form a coherent thought, “You’re fucking huge. That’s… that can’t fit. It’s physically impossible.”

The bastard smirks, rubbing the small of your back, “Oh, it’ll fit, honey. I’ll make sure of that.”

You already feel your inner muscles tensing up, trying to force out something that isn’t even breaching you yet. A high-pitched keening noise rips from your throat as the bulbous tip sinks into your wet heat.

Bucky shudders as he feels your tight little cunt clenching and fluttering around just the swollen head of his cock. Fuck, you were so goddamn small, so fucking tight. He could feel every inch of your silky walls squeezing him, trying to push his thick tip out of your needy hole. It took every ounce of control not to just slam forward and bury himself to the hilt in your scorching heat.

He grit his teeth, his breath coming out in a low growl as he forced himself to hold still, to wait for your okay before he fucked into you. His hands gripped your hips hard enough to leave bruises, holding you in place as he fought for some semblance of restraint. Where was all that goddamn self-discipline that HYDRA beat into him? His dick was barely inside you and he was already a slave to your nubile body. 

He rocked his hips slightly, just barely, letting you feel the thick, spongy head of his cock kiss your entrance with each shallow thrust. “Tell me to move, honey.” Bucky pants, sounding utterly wrecked, “Let me move.”

All you can offer is a small, pathetic whine in response. 

That’s all the confirmation Bucky needs. He starts to move then, his hips rocking in shallow little thrusts as he eases inch after inch of his monstrous dick inside you. His grip tightens on your hips, digging into the plush flesh of your ass as he keeps you in place for each teasing thrust of his cock.

“God, honey, I’m gonna fuck this needy hole just like you want,” He growls, sweat beading on his forehead from the effort of holding back, “Gonna rub this thick fucking tip all over this slutty pussy until you’re dripping and begging for my cock. Fuck… you’re so goddamn tight. Squeezing my cock so fucking hard.”

“W-we shouldn’t be doing this,” You gasp, screwing your eyes shut against the onslaught of sensations. You’re already feeling overstimulated, too warm and too full. Part of you screams to crawl away from the excruciating sensation of being impaled on such a thick cock. You try your best to breathe through it, willing your body to relax. Your cunt weeps, rivulets of slick dripping down and around Bucky’s dick. You feel the little droplets running down your thighs, mixing with your sweat.

Bucky hisses through clenched teeth as he feels your arousal dripping obscenely down his length, your thighs trembling. He loops an arm around your hips, holding you up as he watches the way his dick is swallowed up by your tight hole. He could see you struggling, hear the conflict in your whimper, the way you whispered this was wrong even as your body screamed for his touch. He knew he should listen to the voice in both your heads telling him to stop, to pull away before they crossed a line from which there could be no return… but fuck, he was so goddamn close to the edge already.

His hips rocked faster, fucking his cock in and out of your clutching heat with rough, rapid thrusts. A wet, obscene symphony of squelching and skin slapping against skin fills the room, mixing with his labored breathing and low, strained grunts of pleasure.

“We… fuck.. We shouldn’t…” He repeated your words dumbly, but even as he said it, his cock kept moving. You could feel the tip kissing your cervix with each throbbing, leaking thrust. “But fuck, honey, you feel too good… too goddamn good. We can’t stop now,” Bucky leans forward, pressing his chest against your back, his lips brushing down the side of your neck, “Fuck, gonna make this pretty cunt mine. Fill it up real good, honey.”

“Oh, god,” You gasp, a fresh wave of arousal flooding through you at his words. Your toes curl, fingernails scraping across the floor, “I want that, please. Wreck me.”

The desperate, pleading tone of your voice shatters the remnants of Bucky’s already frayed control. His eyes roll back at your words, groaning. He feels your velvet walls clench and ripple around his throbbing dick, grasping him like a hot fist. Without warning, his hand slides from your hip to your dripping sex, rough fingers finding your swollen, aching clit.

He teases the sensitive bundle of nerves, rubbing tight circles around it with the pad of his thumb as he fucks into you hard and fast. His hips rock faster in tandem with the finger on your clit, each thrust pushing a gush of your juices around his cock and down your thighs. 

You feel like you’re on fire, every nerve alight and singing Bucky’s name. You bite down on your fist, attempting to hold back the shrieks of pleasure bubbling up in your chest, “Right there, god, please!” You squeal, trembling with the burning need to cum, “God, don’t stop. Please don’t fucking stop, right there.”

Your whiny, wanton moans bring Bucky’s climax hurtling at him like a freight train. He ducks his head down, sinking his teeth into the meat of your shoulder and shudders. The feeling of your slick little cunt gripping his dick was maddening, and the needy, desperate sounds spilling from your lips were pushing him closer to the edge, “Fuck, honey. Just like that, keep screaming for me. Gonna blow my load in this hot little cunt.”

You whine in response, Bucky’s rough treatment of your clit sending you careening over the edge. Your cunt clamps down violently, slick release gushing out of your hole. Lips parting in a silent scream, you shudder, shattering beneath him. Bucky lets out a guttural moan, his voice raw with pleasure as you cum hard on his cock. A puddle of sticky wetness forms between your legs on the floor, dripping down the fat of your thighs. Bucky can feel his own orgasm building fast and hard, his shaft throbbing and pulsing as he caresses your clit through your aftershocks.

“Yes, fuck! That’s it, honey. Soak me, pretty girl, gonna- fuck!” He grunts, his hips slamming forward and burying his thick cock to the hilt in your spasming pussy with one hard thrust. He groans long and low as your sex milks him for all he’s worth, his hot seed flooding your insides.

Bucky shudders, hips jerking as he empties his heavy balls inside you, thick ropes of pearlescent cum coating your fluttering walls. He presses his hips tight to your ass, grinding against you. That’s enough for your legs to quit on you. His eyes widen as your legs tremble and then give out, your body going boneless and pliant in his arms. He tightens his grip on your hips, hauling you back up onto your knees. Bucky’s heart races, a wild bird in his ribcage, as he struggles to catch his breath in the aftermath of his intense orgasm.

Slowly, almost reluctantly, he eases his softening cock out of your well-used hole. A river of his thick cum oozes out after him, dripping down your inner thighs, joining the puddle of slick on the floor. Bucky can’t help but feel satisfaction at how fucked-out you look, sporting his bite mark on your shoulder. His hands slide around to cup the soft swell of your belly, his palms splayed across the gentle curve. He could feel the heat of your skin, the way it flushed and erupted in little goosebumps from his touch. His gaze heavy-lidded, dark with lingering lust as he murmurs in your ear, “We can’t do this again, right honey?”

[novemberheart]

{overview} The two alphas in the pack are warming up to you and you can't help but feel the same

{warnings} a/b/o dynamics, fem reader, a bit of reader backstory, poly 141 x reader

Chapter 7 <- Chapter 8 -> Chapter 9

“Sweetheart, I want you to promise me two things.” John began as you started your walk back home. “Number one, if there's a question on this thing-” he nearly growled, holding up the envelope he was carrying for you. “that you don't want to answer, don't. Nobody's business if you don't want it to be, understand?”

“Yes, Alpha.” the title slipped from your lips out of instinct. You were so focused on your own embarrassment to notice the sudden rise in his body temperature, or the way he began holding the envelopes lower. “I’m sorry-”

“Don't be,” he insisted. “You can call me whatever you want, whatever feels comfortable to you,” he assured, causing your heart rate to slow. The title ‘alpha’ certainly fits the Captain. It also felt more personal- more intimate than John. You hoped the outside air would be enough to waft away the growing sweetness in your scent.

“What was the other thing you wanted me to promise?” you reminded.

“That you'll seriously think about getting chipped. If it's a hard no, I'll understand, but it's important to me- to all of us that we set you up to be safe should anything happen.” he requested.

The butterflies in your stomach were fluttering around at lightspeed. The alpha was close to you as you walked. The overwhelming urge to just tuck yourself under his strong arm so he could make good on his promises. A whine left your throat at the understanding that you couldn't touch him yet.

Alpha's were built to keep their omegas warm. Your omega was throwing a temper tantrum at the denial.

“I’ll stop pressing you, sweetheart. I apologize.”

You quickly realized he was referencing your whine. The sound made his stomach flip.

“No- I wasn’t whining at that. I'm not sure where that came from, to be honest.” you lied. “It's probably a good idea actually. It'll help me feel safer too.” you didn't know who had taken over your mouth. Maybe it was desperation. If you got chipped that would be one step closer to being his.

“Come on, pup.” You poked your head outside your door, peering at Simon as he shut the TV off and stood up from the couch. He winced a bit as he tested how much weight he could put on his leg. He stood still watching you with dull eyes. You quickly got up and trotted over to him.

“Do you need something?” you pondered.

“Time for your walk,” he smirked down at you, making his way over to the kitchen, where he grabbed his key card and a pack of cigarettes out of the drawer. He then grabbed a black balaclava and tugged it over his head. Your brows furrowed at the tease in his voice, but you complied heading back towards your room to grab a pair of shoes. “Need to get you walking shoes.” he ‘tsked’ eyeing your flats. There was a subtle limp in his walk and you could tell he was trying to downplay it.

“Do you need a cane or something?” you poked. He shot you a look, but his hand reached up and rested on the back of your neck, causing you to erupt in goosebumps.

“This’ll do.” he shot back, giving you a gentle squeeze.

“You like being outside don't you?” he observed, watching the way your breathing deepened and a glow appeared on your face as the sun hit it. You nodded your head.

“I grew up in a crowded city. Every summer break my parents would take me to the countryside to be with the rest of our pack,” you explained.

“Split pack?” he asked.

“Yeah,” you affirmed softly.

“That’ll serve you here.” Simon commented. “You already have experience being away from the majority of your pack, along with knowing how to manage the emotions that come with it.”

“For when you guys have to do your jobs?” you clarified. He sucked air through his teeth, then hummed in agreement. When you were at the Omega house you would lie awake thinking about it, growing anxious even though you had no relationship with them. Now the thought of them leaving wasn't an entirely negative one. You hoped that they wouldn't all leave at the same time. It would give you a chance to bond with those who stayed and miss the ones who left. “How often do you leave anyways?” you questioned.

“Eager, huh?” he gave the back of your neck another squeeze. “We never know. Sometimes we’ll go a few weeks without being called away, other times we’ll just be here a few days out of the month.”

“Do you all leave at the same time?” you held your breath.

“Sometimes.” he drew out. “That might change with you though, at least in the beginning.” he sighed. He guided you behind a large building, releasing your neck. He leaned against the side of it, pulling the pack of cigarettes out of his pocket, rolling his mask up, and placing the cigarette between his lips. “You don't smoke do you?”

“No.” you nearly spat.

“Good, nasty habit.” he praised, lighting it. All was quiet between the two of you and you focused on trying to listen to the birds between the distant sound of gunfire, whirling machines, and shouting. “How’d you end up in an omega house?” he asked suddenly. He watched as you frilled up like a spooked cat.

“When I was fifteen my mom left us.” you began. You avoided Simon’s gaze even though you could feel the burn of it. “My dad reclaimed shortly after and along with that came a new pack. I didn't adjust too well.” you trailed off.

“Their fault or yours?” he questioned. You paused for a long moment mulling it over. You finally lifted your eyes from the tree line, merging with Simons. Cold and unreadable.

“I'm not sure. Mix of both,” you whispered. He got the last bit of cigarette he could before putting it out against the lid of a trash can.

“Tell you what.” he started. The grip on the back of your neck returned, as he headed back towards the pavement. “I’ll let you know whose fault it is after I get to know you a bit better.” he offered. You rolled your eyes, ignoring the slight sting in your chest at the memories.

“Hey, Peaches.” an instant smile appeared on your face at the familiar voice.

“Hi, Johnny.” you smiled up at him. You had just gotten back from your walk with Simon when John and Kyle came back to swoop you up for lunch. After they dropped you back off you were determined to finally finish unpacking.

“Need any help?” He asked, taking a seat in your doorway.

“Not really.” you sighed, looking over your horrible wrinkled clothes. “Thanks though, Johnny.” You smiled. He smiled back, getting himself comfortable by leaning against your doorframe. “Can I ask you something?” you asked hesitantly.

“Course, bonnie,” he replied instantly.

“How come you don't have an omega yet?” his smile remained on his face as he shrugged.

“I always wanted one, and I know Kyle has been thinking about it a lot lately, well, ever since Laswell had brought it up. I think the Captain was putting it off because he's a worrier. Simon is just a prick.” he whispered the last part, his eyes snapping over to the couch where Simon had passed out. You giggled, following his gaze. “I hope we didn't hurt your feelings, bonnie. I know Laswell wanted to pair you up with us sooner and we”-

“Rejected the idea?” You finished for him. He nodded his head- regretfully.

“Didn’t know it would be you though.” The smirk returned to his face, as his eyes drifted up and down you playfully.

“I don’t think Simon’s a prick.” You defended softly, wanting to change the subject. “He’s been quite nice to me. Well- all of you have.” You sighed happily.

The words he wanted to say were at the tip of his tongue, but he swallowed it back. The truth was you seemed rather oblivious to your impact. The closest way he could describe you was addictive. Your scent, your eyes, even the way you scowled when you didn’t approve of something. You had flipped a switch in the brains that had been dormant their whole lives. It wasn't just him either. He watched the way John eyed the clock and practically sprinted out the door when it was time to pick you up for lunch. He noticed the way Kyle picked out a deep, forest green shirt today because you had absentmindedly shared you had liked the color. Just the idea that you had been chosen for them. You had been selected with the intention to be theirs. And even though you still hadn't bonded with them or been marked, the prideful beta in him rumbled at the thought.

Instead of saying all that he settled with:

“Give him some time, Peaches. He’ll come around.” he snickered.

“If you say so.” you huffed.

“We should throw your things in the dryer, Bon. Can't have you walking around like nobody’s takin’ care of ya.”

It was dark out before you knew it. You had already eaten dinner, orange chicken with white rice. They didn't have a dessert, but Kyle quickly raced to the vending machine to get you a candy bar. You smiled, curling yourself deeper into your blanket.

All of you were together, for the first time since you had arrived. John is at the very end of the couch, with his feet up on the coffee table. Kyle lying next to him, his feet nearly on his lap. Johnny was also sprawled out, he and Kyle sharing a pillow. Simon sat stiffly next to him. His pain meds must be starting to wear off. You could always tell because an annoyed scowl would appear on his face. You were curled up on the other side of Simon, and you took it upon yourself to slowly inflate your scent. You weren't sure if he knew you did it on purpose, but you felt giddy when you saw his tense muscles begin to relax.

It was John's turn to pick what to watch- although he offered to forgo his turn if there was something that caught your eye. You politely shot him down, already feeling your eyelids grow heavy. He had settled on a ‘How It's Made’ episode about kayaks, safety boots, electronic signs, and cereals.

All in all, it was the perfect recipe for sleep. A pack that you were beginning to feel comfortable with, a calm voice on TV, a full stomach, and a soft blanket.

John watched as your eyelids began to droop. You were comfortable. He was pleased with how easily you had adjusted to their pack. He knows the first day wasn't easy- or what you had hoped for. If he could do it all again, trust him, he would. But here you were drifting in and out of sleep, the smell of warm peaches and vanilla filling the air. It made his own restless mind slow, and the ache in his temples dissipated.

“She asleep?” Johnny whispered. It was then he realized the show had ended. “Should we move her back to her room?” The Scot questioned, peeling himself off of the couch. He stretched, his back popping loudly.

“Best leave her out here with me,” Simon said all too quickly. Three heads snapped in his direction. “Fuck off,” he growled. “You want me to get better or not?” he reminded. They all agreed, not voicing any other theories about why he wanted you there with him.

Hi friends! Hope you enjoyed this chapter! I'll see you in two days for chapter 9! 🧡

[peggyao3]

Relic - Pt. 16 "Destroyer of Worlds"

PAIRING: Feyd-Rautha Harkonnen x Unnamed Ambiguous FMC

SUMMARY: ✧ Dreams are messages from the deep �� A woman from the unknown comes to Feyd in his dreams and his nights become his days as he flees to the dreamscape to escape the nightmares that haunt his waking hours.

TAGS: Third person POV, she/her AFAB FMC, explicit sexual content, smut, vaginal sex, vaginal fingering, oral sex, Porn with Plot, Feyd-Rautha's black cum and big cock, Praise Kink, Body Worship, angst/hurt and comfort, drama, fluff, plans within plans, implied/referenced child abuse, implied/referenced abuse, Trauma, mentions of suicidal thoughts, Healing, Strangers to Lovers, falling in love, Vulnerable/ Emotional/Possessive Feyd, Feyd is a sweet baby who did nothing wrong and I WILL pamper him, nurture not nature, Stockholm Syndrome but in a consensual way, lucid dreaming, Implied/Referenced Cannibalism, murder, teaching the universe about feminism, female rage, Frank Herbert would frown, No actually he would kneel in front of me, putting the science and the porn in sci-fi, angst with a happy ending

WORD COUNT: 4.3k

A/N: We're really getting there now 🥹🥹🥹 I'm so excited. And I'm very pleased with this chapter 🤭 I can't wait to hear what you think!

Reposted from my Ao3💕| Masterlist | Relic Masterlist

Dividers by @saradika-graphics

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Day 100

No guards frame the door that is tall and glinting back, just like Feyd had assured her. When she had approached it and passed through it several weeks prior, she thought it may as well lead to hell, but today she is certain of it. Except it won't be Feyd's hell or hers, it will be his.

And he will have no time for tricks.

With her gun of clear, shiny plastic raised in front of her chest, the relic enters Baron Vladimir Harkonnen's bath chambers.

The scented, herbal fog hasn't grown as dense and thick yet and the white, fleshy heap at the center of the tub fills out her sight at once. And unexpectedly, there is movement to the right, not a guard or a servant but Glugo who quivers in a damp basket near the wall.

While the woman's eyes are briefly averted, the Baron's shield flares up around his misshapen form at a flick against the massive, silver band at his middle finger. The smallest and priciest model on the market, Ixian technology.

"I expected my nephew," he drones, voice amplified by the vaulted ceiling but distorted by the shield.

"Hands on the pool edge," the woman demands, voice as cold as cryogenic vapor. Vladimir acquiesces, unable to reach for the transponder behind his ear. An invisible muscle ticks at his fleshy jaw.

"I hold audiences every Freitak," he attempts to jest, arms spread out in mockery as he adjusts them on the slippery edge. "No need to assault me in my own bath chambers."

A blunder, he realizes quickly as her face hardens with rancor. Not a molecule would fit between her clenched teeth.

"You're troubled because of what you saw," he concludes. "It was a mistake." Vladimir concedes all too quickly. His finesse seems to have evaporated along with the curling steam and he realizes he knows nothing substantial about the woman.

"Quite," she confirms curtly, closing in with slow, deliberate steps. The crosshair projected by her interface, only for her eyes to see, dances over the Baron's face, but she won't take any risks. At the center of the vaulted chamber, a generous distance separates them still, but she feels more confident in her aim.

Pulling a trigger is as easy as dropping a bomb. She should have it in her. Her kin have dropped bombs like rainfall back in the slaughterhouse warfare for oil and soil and rare earths.

The Baron gawks at the muzzle, an unassuming hole among glossy, alien plastic. His old eyes might be deceiving him, but he thinks he can see the inner cogs and channels shimmering through the surface, and a metallic component that doesn't belong.

A lasgun! She's either a maniac or an idiot! Or truly a relic of long-forgotten ages, like the sisterhood had said.

He could either deactivate his shield and die certainly, saving the palace and the capital from nuclear fallout, or he could take them down with him, his nephew included.

"You don't want to fire a lasgun at me, kid."

His voice booms and the Tleilaxu creature leaps out of its basket, hand-feet splatting across the damp tiles. Thank God, it flees out the door, the relic thinks. That tiny moment of inattentiveness is enough for Vladimir to flick the switch at the ring on his pointer, a special gift that was given to him just a few days ago, and just in time. Already, he feels safer.

"That's not a normal lasgun." Her attention is back on the Baron and she smiles knowingly. Vladimir despises the self-assured look of it.

"We can find a civilized solution for this," he declares with renewed confidence. Pretending to think, he sways his fatty neck from side to side. "I know my nephew has plenty to offer, so I don't see why we shouldn't be able to share."

She laughs out brightly, a sound like a whiplash across the Baron's heaving chest. "Where I'm from, there's the death penalty for abusers like you. I couldn't build an electric chair, so I brought something else."

"And what have you got there?" Get her talking, he thinks, beady eyes greedily darting for the door.

"Feyd's wedding gift."

"Feyd's wedding—?"

Thumb slipping over the back of the gun, she cocks the hammer.

"Did I understand that correctly? If you miscalculated, this test will cause an atomic explosion?" The memory of a few days prior fills out her mind, easing the terrible anxiety that now dampens her palms. "Yes, but I did not miscalculate." "Then why test it?" Feyd-Rautha had paced anxiously behind her and sized up the heap of towels stacked in the corner of her room, their outline blue and blurred by a softly humming Holtzman shield. "Better to be safe than sorry." "I'd feel sorry if you blew up my planet." "I wouldn't," she had responded with hardness and pulled the trigger. Doing so fires the bullet first, then a fine tuned laser beam from a smaller second muzzle, as light travels faster than matter and the bullet needs more time to reach its target. The double muzzle is calibrated to take the bullet's weight and distance from the target into consideration. Light may have no inherent mass, but photons do transmit impulse. And so the photons that comprise the laser beam collide with the Holtzman shield's nuclei and propel them into motion towards the body they are meant to protect. The beam's impact isn't hard enough to trigger a nuclear chain reaction, but just right to accelerate the nuclei. And by the time the bullet arrives at the crime scene too, its relative velocity to the shield is that of a slow blade. With a thump, the bullet had sunken into the stack of towels.

The door moves at her back and the only reason why she doesn't jump in fright is because she recognizes his footsteps.

"Wait, my darling."

The Baron could weep with joy at the sight of his dear nephew. Not who he had called, but an even more welcome sight. It was he who had given the boy everything; schooling for his cunning mind, planets to govern, blades to play with, toys to warm his heart and his cock with. Everything in exchange for a measly bit of affection!

Feyd-Rautha, dressed from neck to toe with not an inch of skin showing aside from his face and hands, loops his arms around his betrothed's waist, chin tilted and leaning against her temple.

"Let me do it." 

Vladimir pales, shuffling in the sloshing bath water as his nephew gently takes the gun from the cursed woman's hand and closes in like a starved viper. His chest rises beneath the full coverage of his suit.

Desperately, the Baron looks at the door.

"My dear nephew, you're falling for a hoax! Do you want to blow up the city?"

Feyd-Rautha stops, still several meters away from the tub. Vladimir seethes.

Anxiously, the relic observes the jittering path of the digital crosshair, weapon out of her hands and out of her control. As Feyd halts, the red mark settles on the Baron's pasty forehead. His aim is perfect.

"You want me dead, then come closer, at least! Look me in the eyes when you do it, my boy." The Baron's tongue flicks out, grey-pinkish flesh, to wet his bottom lip. He wants him so close that he can see the whites in his nephew's eyes before the city blows up. Stripped naked and unarmed aside from the poison needle in the signet ring on his pinkie, he feels more than ever like a heap of flesh, defenseless and abandoned and to his own surprise, it is the latter that hurts most.

Feyd-Rautha doesn't speak.

"Say something, boy! You've had more than enough chances to do this, but you didn't, and I'll tell you why." The Baron raises himself slightly, bulging chest emerging from the inky water. "You don't want to kill your own un—"

The echo of a bang ricochets off the vaulted ceiling and the Baron finds his head knocked back, vision filled with fractured red, his shield dissolved.

With his head rolled on the tub's edge, he can only see the ceiling, and something wet slips over his brow, into his blurry eye. Vladimir had always thought, when Feyd finally manages to kill him, he would ravage his body with blades, take him apart to the last organ, gorge on his flesh while it is still warm. It had almost aroused him.

But his nephew's final touch — denied. 

How cruel.

"You did it!" His betrothed's arms loop around his waist from behind, the embrace hard and stormy, her face against his spine. Feyd still stares in awe at the corpse of his uncle, massive, white flesh afloat obscenely in the tub.

"I did," he confirms, his voice hard, with tremors around the edges.

Feyd feels like he should perhaps burst into tears or yell, but none of the like wants to come out of his heart. The accomplishment might take a few days to feel real. What is entirely real, however, is the face of his darling as she slides to his front and cups his cheeks, overjoyed. The tears that his eyes are missing in his, shimmer distinctly in hers and before he knows it, she has tilted his face down to hers and pressed her lips on his, comforting and needy.

Anxiety melts under soft kisses and tears track down her cheeks, coloring their lips with salt.

"I see you've done us all a favor."

Feyd and his woman snap apart, staring in horror to the ajar door. A few steps into the chamber stands a figure swathed in black like a bad omen on the battlefield. The Reverend Mother Gaius Helen Mohiam looks appreciatively at the corpse of Baron Harkonnen.

Even through the mesh of her veil, her sharp eyes perceive the wicked twitch of the na-Baron's hands around the gun.

"Hold still!" She commands and Feyd-Rautha's finger freezes at the trigger.

A pop-up blinks in the corner of the relic's interface, signaling the detection of the soundwave pattern she had picked apart a few weeks ago.

"What are you doing here?" The relic hisses, fingers screwed around Feyd's dangling wrist. She looks a tad haggard compared to when the Reverend Mother had last seen her, with a touch of madness in the eyes.

"My presence was requested by the late Baron and he was right to do so."

"Your presence?" Feyd's voice rings out in distaste, aiming for mockery but rage oozes from every strained muscle. The Reverend Mother sees in him a toddler on the verge of a tantrum.

"I wasn't any less surprised than you are, Baron Feyd-Rautha." She tilts her head and with her moves the crass shadow thrown by her oblong headpiece. "That's how I knew the gravity of the situation. Your uncle was beginning to feel a bit uneasy. He had a feeling you were plotting something, so he requested my help, thinking I was the only one who could."

"But you are too late," Feyd barks, fingers clenching helplessly around the gun. "He's dead!"

"He is. And yet, I arrived perfectly on time." The Reverend Mother calmly crosses her hands in front of her body.

"You could have intervened and didn't?" Horror much bigger than when she had the Baron at gunpoint rises to the relic's chest.

"I must confess, I was… curious." Gaius Helen Mohiam waits but the younger woman remains silent. "How did you do it?"

The engineer laughs out, a sound that's shrill and unpleasant from her clamoring heartbeat. "Sure, I'll tell you and give away the single most valuable piece of information in the universe."

The Reverend Mother purses her lips. The truth is, she had made her decision the second the bullet had passed through the Baron's shield. That knowledge must die and not even reach the ears of her own sisters. Temptation brings out the worst in humans and careful plans are traded all too easily for short-lived power.

Perhaps Feyd-Rautha knows too, but he is a force they can control. The wildcard however has no place among them.

"This must not come out," the Reverend Mother declares, her tone a whiplash.

The glint in the wayward woman's eyes tells her everything she needs to know. The terrible relic is not horrified by the idea of throwing the world off balance. She embraces the potential of destruction like a tumor the flesh it feasts on. Thousands of years of selective breeding are at risk at the whims of one wicked catalyst.

"I think maybe it should," the relic snarks. 

"You're an abomination!" Mother Mohiam snaps. "You should have stayed in the ice like the fossil you are."

"You shouldn't have thawed me then. This is your doing!"

And this is why the Reverend Mother must undo it. "There is no place for you here," she coldly proclaims.

"Then watch me make one! I'll carve, dig and shoot a mold for myself and if I end up destroying something on the way, I'm not sorry."

"That I can see, and that is precisely why there is no place for you in this world."

Feyd-Rautha stands at his betrothed's side, a shackled guard dog watching the heated exchange between witch and scientist, between the present and the past which might become the future once more.

"It is a pity," the Reverend Mother continues. "But there will be more opportunities to continue this bloodline." She tilts her head, sharp eyes locked onto the relic through the shroud of her veil. "Kill yourself."

Her interface flashes red, a warning at the center of her vision. For a brief moment, all joy fades from her eyes, all hope, and to end her own life seems to be the only logical consequence — until the code sequence she had programmed weeks prior is triggered into action, playing an opposing sound pattern directly into her skull.

Sound waves meet in destructive interference and only a dull, sad ache behind her sternum remains.

Mother Mohiam grows cold with terror when the abomination remains unmoving and smiles.

"You're full of surprises." The Reverend Mother's tone carries a hint of begrudging admiration. Underestimating her is a mistake she won't make again. The woman whose only ability of notable importance seemed to have been prescient dreams had somehow bested her command. But it doesn't matter. There is never only one way to the goal.

Feyd-Rautha realizes that too, but a second too late.

"Kill her."

The na-Baron slackens and turns, soulless eyes holding no recognition. She releases his wrist. Terror devours her when Feyd-Rautha points the gun at her forehead. And just like before, his aim is perfect. A red glow, visible only to her, bleeds into her vision from between her eyes and she remembers.

He aims with the gun that is linked to her brain. The trigger clicks only half a second after she jams it via remote control.

No bullet breaches her skull and the relic stumbles away from her love who stares at the handgun in confusion, pulling the trigger three more times before discarding the weapon with a dissonant clatter. A muscle tics at his jaw, cat like eyes narrowing into slits and he reaches for his belt. Glinting steel emerges from its sheath, a hissing purr. Her betrothed prowls.

"Feyd, don't—" She pleads, backing away with quickening steps. There is nowhere to go, only the tub where she could hide herself behind the Baron's floating corpse. "It's me, you don't want to kill me. You love me!"

"He doesn't know that," Mother Mohiam coldly reminds her and the relic glares hatefully.

"You're destroying his life!" She sobs, stumbling over the steps that lead up to the bathtub and falling on her bum. "How can you live like this? You're the abomination! He will kill you in revenge, he'll blow up your whole planet!"

Her beloved towers right over her, head crowned by a corona of glowglobe shine, his chiseled features entirely calm, innocent.

"Do it!"

"I'm sorry," she cries. "I love you."

Feyd grabs her by the front of her shirt as she tries to roll away. She squirms and sobs pathetically, helpless with no further tricks up her sleeve, no hidden blade or gun, no voice of her own to wield against him or her.

The Reverend Mother raises her chin in triumph, but all of a sudden, there is movement at the door, at the unsuspecting witch's back.

Mikhail Kyelug comes flying through the door, sword flung out in a wide arch. Right after him sprints Lilia, with Glugo clutching her hand.

The Reverend Mother spins in surprise, lips open, but her words are severed along with her head, terrible voice silenced forever as Mikhail's blade cleaves through her neck and spine with an awful crack. The world spins together with her head. The headpiece comes off, giving away thinning, grey hair. Voicelessly, she curses that her last ever sight is Baron Vladimir's Harkonnen's bloated face, dead eyes locked with dead eyes.

Feyd-Rautha whips around from the racket, blade quivering in his clenched fist. The relic's nails have dug inky crescents into his wrist. For a moment, no one moves and three humans and one humanoid wait with bated breath for Feyd to drop the blade.

But the voice is no link to be severed by the wielder's death, it is a temporary alteration of the brain, and so Feyd's face remains empty, shark eyes glaring at the intruders. Mikhail sees it too.

"Back! Back I say!" He roars and barges like a bull. Feyd-Rautha releases the woman's shirt, facing the threat that is bound to crash into him with hissing metal.

Blades collide.

Lilia jumps over the Reverend Mother's corpse and dashes past the fighting pair to  collect her weeping Lady from the steps. Glugo's hand-feet splatter after her with haste and it picks up the discarded gun, cradling the devious, shiny thing protectively against its misshapen chest.

Glugo had known right away, when it scuttled past the tall, old witch in the hallway and she had commanded it in that terrible voice to leave, that she meant harm. So, it had ran as fast as it could and pulled at Lilia's hands and skirt, because Lilia would know what to do. 

The three of them huddle down in the corner, the relic crying into Lilia's chest. Glugo slips a quivering hand-foot into her palm but its milky eyes are aimed at the center of the room where its friend and Mikhail are grappling and grunting.

By the Sun, the na-Baron fights like a demon! His pupils are shrunken into pinpricks and his mouth is pulled apart into a gashing grin. Mikhail's armor is torn at the shoulder and black blood weeps down his armpit. Every next parry burns as if his muscles were about to tear apart and with the rush of pain comes a rush of clarity.

Fists, not blades. 

Mikhail drops his blood-slick sword and catches the na-Baron's wrist, stopping the tip of the blade centimeters away from his neck. Roaring, he shoves the na-Baron backwards until he collides into the wall and slams the taller man's wrist against the tiles, once, twice. Feyd's blade slips out of his twitching fingers and clatters to the ground as his lips skin back from glinting, black teeth in anger.

Mikhail doesn't hesitate. He drives his thick-knuckled fist into the na-Baron's guts like a battering ram. Wearing no armor, Feyd doubles up, spitting saliva across his own chest. Ringed hands grasp at Mikhail's chest plate, attempting to hurl the guard to the ground, but Mikhail's boot crashes into Feyd's pelvis and scarred knuckles find Feyd's soft cheek. Skin splits open and his molars sink into the soft flesh inside his mouth.

"Stop, stop, stop!" Feyd blurts out, choking on spit and blood, hands raised in the air as Mikhail's final blow cracks across his jaw. He lurches to the ground and rolls on his back in defeat, his eyes clear and wide in terror.

"My Lord," Mikhail pants, raising his bloodied fists in a shaky salute.

"I— I didn't—" Feyd's head turns to the corner where both women are huddled up, Glugo in front of them, clutching the handgun in one of its oily-black hands.

"My darling," Feyd rasps, spluttering blood. "I nearly killed you."

"It's not your fault," she sobs immediately and frees herself from Lilia's embrace. The pair meet in the middle and her arms whip around his neck, his around her waist and he squeezes her until he feels her very heartbeat against his own, convincing himself that she's still alive.

Their foreheads fall against each other and she gently cradles his aching jaw, thumb stroking under the bleeding cut on his cheek. Feyd-Rautha's long, lowered lashes cast shadows across his eyes and something dark and bitter flashes in them.

"No," she insists immediately and her tone forces his eyes back on hers. She won't allow him to hate himself for something he almost did. "We're alive and they're dead. This is our victory."

Next to Feyd-Rautha and his Lady, Lilia has rushed over to her husband, making an endearing fuss over the wound on his shoulder and his bruised hands. Deft fingers have unclipped the shoulder piece and tugged the cut fabric apart to inspect length and depth of the laceration.

"S'fine, my darlin'," Mikhail rasps with exhaustion and slings his good arm around her middle, pulling her into him to place mindless kisses atop of her head.

The relic peeks over Feyd's shoulder and unlatches one hand from her beloved, beckoning for the pair to come closer. "Thank you," she sighs with tear-thick voice.

Lilia confidently seizes the offered hand, thumb brushing comfortingly over her Lady's knuckles. Mikhail stands awkwardly behind her, one hand on Lilia's waist, not daring to touch the woman of higher standing so affectionately. "My Lady."

Feyd-Rautha releases his woman after all and turns to face his saviors. At once, the guard and the handmaid drop to one knee before him and lower their heads in devotion.

"Baron Harkonnen," they mumble in unison and a muscle twitches across Feyd-Rautha's cheek.

"No," he interrupts with grating tone. "Stand up!"

The pair obey, glancing up with confusion as they raise themselves. Feyd-Rautha regards them with a long glance and exhales deeply, then slowly kneels in front of them, pale head rolling forwards until his eyes are trained on the ground.

"Thank you," he says. "You saved her life, and mine."

"My Lord," Mikhail mutters, overwhelmed and looks to the Lady for help while squeezing Lilia's waist. "It was only our duty, eh?" He insists but that is hardly true. Not duty but friendship had hastened their steps and fueled his fists when they barged into the room.

Glugo can no longer contain itself and scuttles over on hasty hand-feet, mewling with worry as it flings four of its eight limbs at Feyd's chest, tugging on the thick fabric while pressing its misshapen pug face against his sternum.

Feyd winces when shiny plastic is waved about right next to his face and he tries to capture the gun out of Glugo's innocent, little hand-foot while cradling the creature's head with one big, pale hand.

"It's jammed," his betrothed reassures him. "Come here, give that to me, hm?" Gently, she grasps the weapon and places it back in its holster.

"Hush, hush," Feyd mumbles and allows himself in a moment of vulnerability to rest his bruised cheek atop Glugo's head while his darling softly squeezes his shoulder.

"It is actually Glugo who deserves your gratitude, my Lord," Lilia reveals and Feyd holds the glugging creature a bit tighter. "It came to me crying and begging and I knew you needed us."

Glugo doesn't know exactly why everyone smells so much of tears and joy, but it knows it did something right and that it is surrounded by the kindest beings it has ever known.

"I wouldn't go near," the relic remarks, stopping Feyd whose prowling footsteps have carried him closer to the round tub in which the fleshy, white mountain of his uncle's corpse still floats, unmoving. "He's radioactive."

"I won't," Feyd grates out, plush lips skinned back from his teeth in distaste. He feels none of the morbid fascination he had always assumed he would feel when his uncle is finally dead by his hands, only a grim, long-awaited sense of accomplishment. Turning his head, he finds Glugo tugging curiously on the dead Reverend Mother's dress. The poor thing does have a penchant for liver after all. Feyd clicks his tongue. "Don't touch that!" 

Glugo scuttles away and back to Lilia's outstretched hand. It will receive a proper victor's feast later, something more worthy of its bravery than an old witch's, rotting corpse.

"I want the bodies completely eradicated, both of them," Feyd demands. Lest they return as Gholas, a voice of paranoia whispers to him, but he is all too happy to listen.

"How?" His woman curls her arm around his middle and Feyd pulls her to his chest, inhaling the scent of her hair before he makes a decision.

"Burn it down," he rasps. "Burn down the whole wing."

In the afternoon hours, the citizens, guards and slaves of Barony are left gawking and gasping, faces turned in shock towards the colossal palace pyramid where vicious smoke curls from the very top, black claws against the crass, white sky. At the na-Baron's behest, no one is to extinguish the wrathful flames. 

Proudly, he watches it burn, the place that holds two decades worth of abuse. The biting smoke soars towards the stars, like the herald of a new age.

I am Time (Death), cause of destruction of the worlds, matured And set out to gather in the worlds here. Even without thee (thy action), all shall cease to exist, The warriors that are drawn up in the opposing ranks.

- Krishna in the Bhagavad Gita

A/N: Killed the baddies with the power of friendship and science 🥹 (2 more chapter to come)

FEYD TAG LIST

@nostalgichoya, @forgedfromthestars, @sweetiee-o, @missbingu, @minedofmoria

@sebastianswallows, @charmingballoon, @flower-frog, @welliah, @aoi-targaryen

@coastalcowgirl35, @esolean, @szapizzapanda, @tatertooted, @sunny747

@ughdontbeboring, @meetmeatyourworst, @gravesdiggergirl

[janeyseymour]

A Lifetime Full of Firsts

based loosely on two asks from anons... stages of falling in love and being domestic and shit.

WC: ~4.8k

In every relationship, there are numerous firsts. Some firsts, you expect: the first date, the first kiss, the first time you say I love you, the first time you have sex- and those are always memorable. And then are the unexpected firsts- and those are almost more memorable than the expected. 

The first unexpected first was one that you never saw coming to become a monumental moment in your relationship with Melissa Schemmenti. All that had happened was you got a new job as a second grade teacher at Abbott Elementary. You walked into the staff lounge to simply put your lunch away when you saw her for the first time. Your eyes were immediately drawn to the fiery red hair that cascaded down here shoulders in gentle waves. 

“Why you starin’?” Her voice came out deep. “Do I got somethin’ in my teeth?”

“N-no,” you stammered out. “Sorry. I uh, just really like your hair.”

“Thanks,” she practically blew you off. “Now who the hell are you?”

“I’m Y/N,” you answered softly. “I’m the new second grade teacher they hired.”

“Shit, I gotta work with you all year?” she groaned. She almost immediately took a disinterest in you. She didn’t like the vibe she got- a pep in your step, voice soft and demure. She suspected that you would be out of here before the kids even came in for their own first day of school, and if you weren’t out by then, the kids would eat you alive and you would be gone by the second week. 

“I’m sorry?” you squeaked out.

“Melissa Schemmenti,” the redheaded woman told you. “One of the other second grade teachers.”

“Oh,” your mouth formed into a bit of a frown. You headed over for the refrigerator and put your lunch in there. “Well, I hope you have a nice day.” And you head out.

That was your first conversation with Melissa Schemmenti, and it wasn’t a great one. It wouldn’t matter though. Life had a funny way of playing out.

During development week, you paid close attention. This school was no joke- you knew that. Growing up in the area, you knew the kids were tough. You knew that this school in particular had a decent amount of turnover every year. But you were determined to stay- make the difference for even just one student like your own second grade teacher had made for you. Janine Teagues, the other second grade teacher in your triad, was just as invested in the seminars as you were despite the fact that this was her third year at Abbott. Melissa, on the other hand, couldn’t care less. She made it very clear she couldn’t care less- busying herself in any other way possible.

Development week was over before you knew it, the weekend flew by, and the kids were beginning to file in. You glanced nervously at Janine, who just gave you an encouraging smile. Then you turned to look at Melissa, whose eyes immediately fell from your own. Was she watching you? You went to say something, but now the kids were actually coming to meet their new teachers, and you weren’t able to say anything more. Instead, you gave her a tight lipped smile. 

You survived the first week. And then you survived the second. Soon enough, October came, and you were still at Abbott. 

Melissa was clearly intrigued by you and your work ethic. Any other teachers who had tried to keep up with her Janine failed epically and been gone in the first few days. But you? You exceeded every expectation with such grace. 

Until you had to ask for her help. It really wasn’t even that big of a deal- the teacher who had the book your manual was referencing before you misplaced it. So, you found yourself hyping yourself up to go to her classroom and ask for help finding it. Finally, you mustered up the courage and were finding yourself knocking on her door. 

“Newbie?” she asked. You still hadn’t quite earned the right to be called by your name by the redhead yet.

“Hey,” you sighed out softly. “Listen, I really hate to bother you, but Janine isn’t here, and I need this book for a few days from now. I’d rather not be running around like a chicken without her head on Wednesday.

“What do you want?”

“The teacher that was here before me lost the book the textbook is referencing. Do you know where I could find it?”

“When do you need it?”

“Thursday,” you mumbled softly.

“Newbie, it’s Monday.”

“Yeah?” you cocked your head to the side just slightly. “I hate running around the day before though and feeling unprepared.”

The redhead maneuvered her way over to her desk before rifling through a few things. She produced the book you needed. “Here, just borrow mine. The last teacher in your room set hers on fire when she quit.”

“What?” you raised a brow as you took the offered book.

Melissa just smirked. “She was batshit crazy. Promise you won’t light my book on fire, newbie.”

“Promise,” you chuckled. “I’ll have it back to you on Thursday afternoon.” You raised the book in the air. “Thank you.” You turn to head out of her room and back to your own classroom.

“Hey,” her voice stopped you in your tracks. You turned to face her again, and this time she wasn’t wearing the usual smirk. She actually had an earnest smile on her face- like one she has when she’s chatting with her friends in the staff room. “You’re doin’ alright, Y/N.”

“Thanks,” you smiled back at her. 

As you left, you felt your cheeks burning just slightly, and you couldn’t wipe that dumb grin off your face. You didn’t know why she had you feeling so giddy- maybe it was because she actually called you by your real name for the first time, or maybe it was because her smile was one that could light up even the darkest of cities.

That was the first time you ever asked her for help, the first time she ever addressed you by name, the first time you fell in love with that smile of hers.

It took a few more weeks before she finally came into your classroom to ask for your help for the first time. It was silly really- all she needed you to do is stand in between both rooms to keep an eye on her class while she goes to the bathroom. But still, you were surprised she didn’t just ask Janine instead.

The first time you sat with her at lunch, it was not your day. You were running late, forgot your lunch on the counter in your apartment, spilled your coffee all down your front, and then you still didn’t have time to make a pitstop at Wawa to get a new coffee or lunch. So when you came dragging into the staff lounge with a whopping five dollars in your hand, a gigantic brown stain on your yellow shirt, and a frown, Melissa raised a brow.

“Not your day, Y/N?” your colleague asked.

You just let out a heavy sigh as you inserted a dollar into one of the machines. You picked what your vending machine lunch would be for the day before turning back around and going to head for the door. Once again, Melissa’s voice stopped you in your tracks.

“Y/N,” the redhead called again. You turned to face her, clearly unhappy and not in the mood. “Is that your lunch today?”

You just nodded. 

“Come sit,” Melissa waved you over to hers and Barbara’s table.

“I uh, wouldn’t want to impo-”

“Come sit,” the hardheaded woman told you again as she kicked out the chair next to her before standing up. She headed over for the cabinets and pulled out a paper plate. With a sigh, you took the seat next to her. Before you knew what was happening, your coworker was spooning out some of the pasta that she packed for herself onto the plate and was handing it to you. 

“Melissa, what are you doing?” you asked her incredulously, eyes nearly bulging out of your head.

“I already ate like half of it, and there’s still more that I won’t finish, so eat it,” she told you sternly. When her friends all raised their brows too, Melissa shrugged. “I ain’t going to cover her class if she passes out because all she had to eat today was a bag of Doritos.”

“Melissa, I couldn’t-”

“If you don’t eat it, it’s going in the trash,” she rolled her eyes. “So just take it, and enjoy it.” Then she made her way over to the coffee machine and was brewing a new pot. You took a glance in her mug, and it was entirely full aside from the few sips you had watched her take while she was standing next to you. A few minutes later, there was a steaming hot mug of coffee placed in front of you. Then, and only then, did the redhead sit down. When she noticed that you still hadn’t taken a bite of her food, she practically shoved the fork into your hand.

After the first bite, you groaned. This was the best pasta you had ever tasted. Melissa just gave you a smile as she reached over and stole the chips you bought. She opened them, popped one into her mouth, and then pushed the bag back in your direction.

“Thank you,” you had blushed through a mouthful.

Since that day, Melissa always made sure that you ate, and she was the first to offer up some of her lunch if you forgot yours that day.

The first time you realized you had feelings for her, you absolutely freaked out. You weren’t supposed to like her- your coworker. And yet there you were- falling for Melissa Schemmenti. You had no idea that she was falling just as hard.

The first time she kissed you, she had pretty much ambushed you- after a relatively hard day with the kids, on top of watching the idiot fifth grade teacher flirt with you mercilessly. You were just sitting at your desk trying to grade your second graders’ spelling tests when you heard her enter your room with the slamming of the door.

“Melissa?” you asked, clearly shocked that she was coming in here, and pissed. “What- what’s wrong?”

She didn’t answer, instead crossing the room on straight legs and kissing you rather aggressively. You were so shocked in the moment that you didn’t kiss her back. As she pulled away though, you only pulled her back in for another. You tugged her into your lap as her arms wrapped around your neck. Eventually, air became a necessity, and she pulled away.

“I’m so fuckin’ sick of watching Matthews flirt with you,” she stated as her green eyes turned dark.

“Matthews is an idiot,” you rolled your eyes. “Doesn’t ever pick up on the fact that they only person I ever flirt back with is you.”

“Dinner at my house tonight,” she told you lowly. She wiped off the excess lipgloss from your face before fixing her own. With a toss of her hair, she stood from your lap and made her way out of your room. You couldn’t help but watch the way her hips swayed.

The first time you said I love you, it wasn’t the way you thought that you would’ve told her. Honestly, the first time you said those three special words, you weren’t aware that you had said them. Or remembered. 

You were absolutely hammered during one of the happy hours after school. You don’t even really remember how you ended up getting as drunk as you did- you never got that bad. But with Melissa and Mr. Johnson practically feeding you shots after a particularly hard day with your students, you were on the verge of blacking out. So, as a dutiful girlfriend, Melissa took you out of the dive bar before you could make an even bigger fool out of yourself than you already had.

“You’re so pretty,” you had murmured the whole way home, a hand never far from her body. It wasn’t in any sexual way, you just liked being close to her.

She chuckled, that easy laugh that you knew meant she wasn’t uncomfortable with your actions. “Thanks, hun.”

Once she pulled up to your apartment complex, she ushered you inside. You had expected her to leave you, even in your drunk state. But instead, she simply guided you to the couch, wrapped you up in a blanket, and went on her way to your kitchen. Before you knew it, you were eating one of your favorite dishes of hers while she lounged next to you.

“You’re the best,” you smiled at her drunkenly.

She pat your leg with a soft smile on her face. “Don’t I know it? Now, why don’t we get you up to bed so you can sleep this off, and hopefully don’t wake up hungover tomorrow for work?”

“Are you trying to seduce me?” you slurred out.

Green eyes were rolled as she hoisted you into her arms. She carried you up to your room, got you changed, and pulled the blankets over you. She kissed your forehead before going to leave.

“Stay?” you had asked meekly.

You heard her sigh, but your eyes were closed. “Give me a few minutes.”

On the verge of sleep, you felt the bed dip under you and warm, strong arms wrap around you. In an instant, you turned in her arms and tucked your chin into her body.

“I love you,” you whispered before giving into drunken exhaustion.

Melissa stiffened just slightly beneath you, but then with a sigh of relief, she reciprocated that emotion, a kiss being pressed to your temple. She held you like that through the rest of the night.

The first time you said ‘I love you’ and were coherent for it, it wasn’t a grand gesture at all. The two of you were sitting outside of her townhouse after a nice meal when you knew you couldn’t hold it in any longer. So, you grabbed her hand with a smile and breathed out those three special words.

“I love you,” you told her with the softest of smiles, the softest of eyes. Then you take a deep sigh of relief. “Oh God. There, I said it first. Now it won’t be awkward, because I know we’ve both been dancing around it for a while now.”

Your girlfriend responded with a full-out belly laugh, and it shook you. It startled you. Was it too early to say those words?

“What?”

She just continued to laugh. “Hun, you said it first a while ago.”

“I what?” you gasped.

“Do you remember the last happy hour we went to?” she asked you with a smirk.

You grumbled. She loved to hold that day over your head. “Barely.”

“After I got you to bed, before you fell asleep, you told me. You’ve also been mumbling it in your sleep. So, I know you love me. I’ve just been waiting for you to tell me coherently,” your girlfriend laughed. Then she sobered slightly to look at you with eyes she only had reserved for you. “I love you too, mi amore.”

That night also led to the first time… that first time. And it was everything you had dreamed of and more. Melissa Schemmenti was a body worth worshipping. 

The first time you spoke of what your future might look like together was rocky- but it was nothing if not informative. She expressed that she wouldn’t be opposed to the idea of marriage, but kids were something that she was wary of. You expressed that you could see yourself marrying her if it all fell into place, and kids were a dream of yours. If they came along they came along. Melissa reminded you that the two of you wouldn’t just be able to create a life the way any straight couple would be able to; forcing you to blush furiously. Of course though, she said that if the timing was right and everything fell into place, it wasn’t off the table.

The first time you had tried to propose to Melissa Schemmenti was one that you’ll never, ever forget. Everything seemed like it was going perfectly- the kids were extremely well-behaved that day for both of you (something that quite literally never happens), the drive home and making dinner was pleasant, and dessert was almost ready. You thumbed the ring in your pocket, just about ready to drop down to one knee and ask her to marry you. But of course, the most important aspect of your day was ruined when you dropped the ring as you went to pull it out of your pocket. You thanked your lucky stars that you were able to locate it and recover from your fumble before she was aware that anything was happening behind her back. But now that you were in such a panic, you couldn’t ask her. So, you enjoyed dessert with the ring carefully placed in your pocket. And it was wonderful.

You figured you had recovered enough from your first fumble to be able to ask her as you were getting ready for bed that night. So, while she was in the bathroom taking off her makeup, you carefully pulled the ring from your pocket again and laid it on her pillow. That was almost a surefire way for her to see it.

You were wrong of course. While she usually rolled into bed, this particular time she decided to flop down and sent the ring flying behind the headboard. It landed with a particularly loud thud- one that made her furrow her brows.

Thinking quickly, you took off one of your own rings and stuffed it under your pillow. 

“Oh, dammit,” you groaned, ever the actress. “I knew I forgot to put that ring back on.”

“Sorry, hun.” Melissa looked regretful. “Let me grab it for you.” She goes to roll out of bed and move the frame away from the wall to retrieve your ring.

You were too slow to stop her, frozen in your tracks. She found the engagement ring that was meant to be hers and stood straight up with it, eyes wide and jaw just slightly agape.

“Y/N,” your girlfriend said lowly. “What is this?”

“A ring?” you desperately were trying to figure out how to get out of this predicament. 

“No shit,” she was quick to retort. “Who’s is it?”

“Mine,” you say quietly.

“Are you secretly married or something?” Green eyes turn somewhat dark.

“No!” you were quick to reply. Well, you had to come clean now. “Mel, it’s mine… for you. I was going to ask you tonight, but both times I went to, I fumbled.”

Your girlfriend’s eyes grew wide. “What do you mean?”

You explained the earlier events to her with a sigh. “Now, can I please have the ring back so I can at least go to bed with some of my dignity tonight?”

Melissa handed you the ring with an expectant look. But instead of dropping down to one knee like she thought you would, you instead just put the ring back safely in its box.

“What are you doing?” she asked you. “Aren’t you going to propose?”

“Well, I can’t now,” you replied. “It has to be perfect, and that proposal would not be.” You slide back into bed and open your arms for her to fall into. She does with a frown on her face.

“Damn,” she huffed. “I could’ve been engaged tonight.”

“Well,” you chuckled as you pressed a kiss to her head. “You will be soon enough- when the time is right.”

“It’s a beautiful ring,” she complimented softly as she held up her left hand. “Damn! Now I wish I would’ve just put it on!”

The next morning, Barbara came flying into the staffroom to look at Melissa’s hand- she knew of your plan to ask her work wife to marry you. She all but grabbed her best friend’s hand, and the smile that she wore immediately melted away into a frown.

“Where’s the-”

“It didn’t go as planned,” you sighed softly from next to your still-girlfriend.

“What does that mean?” Barbara gasped. “Melissa Ann, did you refuse her proposal?”

“What?”

“Did you refuse her proposal?”

“She didn’t,” you chuckled nervously. “I flubbed it.”

“H-how on Earth would you have flubbed it?” Barbara asked you. 

You turned sheepish. “I dropped the ring twice… and then she found it.”

“I tried to get her to propose,” Melissa huffed. “She wouldn’t.”

“And why would that be?”

“Because it has to be perfect,” you sighed as you kissed her hand. “You deserve perfect.”

“What I deserve is for that ring to be on my finger,” your girlfriend still huffed.

She got it eventually. The third time that you tried to propose was perfect, and the rock sat on her finger beautifully. The first time the Abbott crew saw it, they nearly swooned. Barbara nudged her best friend lightly.

“Was it worth the wait?” the kindergarten teacher asked teasingly.

“Yeah,” Melissa whispered as she held her hand out to admire the new ring. “I’d say so.”

The first time that you decided to sit down to wedding plan did not go to plan. It was disagreement after disagreement. And of course, that led to you sleeping on the couch after you said something not particularly called for. But after that, wedding planning was civil and respectful, and the “Abbott event of the century”, as Janine was putting it, was nearly set.

The first time you saw Melissa in her wedding dress was probably the most untraditional way to see her in it. But then again, most of the things about your relationship were untraditional.

You had come home after your own fitting, and there she was- standing on the coffee table as her mother was attempting to do alterations her own dress. Barbara Howard, obviously assuming her duty as maid of honor, was holding pins for Mrs. Schemmenti. In an instant though, she was shooing you back out the door.

“Y/N,” Barbara scolded you. “What the hell are you doing here?”

You chuckled. “Barb, this is my house too, you know.”

“Well, yes, but I thought you knew she would be doing alterations to the dress!”

“I didn’t think she would be standing on our living room coffee table!” you argued. “I thought she would be doing it in the basement or our bedroom, so I was just going to avoid those areas!”

The kindergarten teacher huffed. “Well, please tell me you didn’t see her in it.���

You avert your eyes- you had seen her in it. And she looked stunning.

“You two are the worst, you know that?” Barb rolled her eyes.

You smiled though. “Yeah, we are. But at least we can be terrible together.”

The first time you said your vows out loud was to your future wife, on your wedding day. By some grace of God, you had managed to keep them under wraps, and she had managed to keep hers a secret from you too.

So, there the two of you stood, holding hands up at the altar and looking into each other’s eyes as you made lifelong promises to each other. 

Melissa’s vows were short and sweet like she was (despite the fact that she always appears to be an average height… heels be damned). She glossed over the fact that she never in a million years would’ve expected to be standing here today before promising you that she would always be there to make lasagna for your birthday, that she’d never love Jalen Hurts more than you, and that she’d do whatever it takes to keep you happy… even if that meant having to be the one to change the lightbulbs in the house because you were afraid of getting burnt. Her vows to you made you laugh, they made you cry, they made you fall even further in love with her than you already were.

And then it was your turn to speak your vows- ones that you had only practiced in your head because you knew she was always looming around the corner trying to hear you.

“So,” you chuckled softly as you turned to the audience. “As Melissa stated, it was not love at first sight. Not even love at second glance- at least on her part. But… we’ve made our way here.” 

Your friends and family had laughed at your light joke, and then you turned back to Melissa. “It may not have been love at first sight, but we’ve had a lot of other firsts happen in life… One’s that we may not have ever expected: the first time you called me by name, the first time we had to ask each other for help, the first time you ambushed me in the classroom to tell me about the feelings that you had for me, our first I love you’s… the ones that I remember at least-” you blushed. “The first time I tried to propose, and the second time, and finally the third time. I guess what they say is true, that the third time’s a charm.” Again, those that you had invited to the ceremony chuckled along with you. “I’ve cherished all of our firsts, and I always will. And now, here I am, ready to read my vows aloud for the very first time.”

You shook your hands out nervously before glancing at the woman before you. You spoke of promising to love her through the good and bad, the beautiful and the downright ugly, for better or for worse, in sickness and in health. And then you diverted from the traditional vows. “Melissa, today is the first day of the rest of our lives, and it’s one that we’ll truly never forget. But just because we’re getting married doesn’t mean that life is going to be boring. I vow to you that we will live a lifetime full of firsts- together. I’m not quite sure what those firsts may be, but I know that they’ll be just as meaningful and as memorable as the rest of our firsts. I love you.”

The rest of your wedding is perfect, and then the reception after is an absolute ball. It was the first night of the rest of your lives, as you had said. And while you maybe wouldn’t remember it all the next morning, you knew that the most important parts would always be held to your heart.

The first time that you really spoke about your future together as a married couple- adding kids to the mix, or maybe a pet, was… it wasn’t pretty. But after a bit of wearing her down, your wife (God, you loved that you could call her your wife) agreed that if she was going to be a parent with anyone, it would be you.

That led you to your first treatments. That led you to the first time you peed on a stick, for once praying that it was positive. It wasn’t. That led you to another round of treatments, another negative test. And after the third round, for the first time, the word “positive” was staring up at you. 

Melissa had just smiled at you softly and said, “I guess third time really is a charm for us.”

Your first pregnancy. With that, there were a lot of firsts. The first ultrasound and time you heard your baby’s heartbeat.The first time you experienced morning sickness. The first time you noticed your bump. The first time you had to buy maternity clothes. The first time that you felt the baby kick- the first time she felt the baby kick. There were so many firsts throughout all of that experience.

And now, here you are, holding your daughter, your first born, for the first time. Melissa is perched on the side of your hospital bed, looking at the two of you with such love in her eyes. For the first time, the two of you are mothers. It’s a feeling of love that you never knew before- you understand motherly love for the first time as you hold this beautiful little baby in your arms.

“This is the first day of the rest of our lives,” you whisper as you stroke your little girl’s cheek.

“We’ve already had a lifetime full of firsts,” she tells you softly as she brushes her lips against your temple. “I think we can handle another lifetime of firsts.”

TAGS: (and let me know if you want to be included!): @schemmentis @thesapphictimelady @marvel210 @itisdoctortoyousir @morgana-larkin @thesamesweetie @doesthatsuggestanythingtoyou @marvels--slut @gwennybriggs @megamultifandomtrashposts @lemz378 @http-sam @melissaschemmentisbranzino @imaginesmultifandoms @sexysapphicshopowner @lilfartbox1 @maybe-a-humanbean @imlike-so-gaydude @sapphicxrat @a-queen-and-her-throne @sunsol-22 @notinmyvocab @melanielaufeyson @dvrkhcld

[myunghology]

can you see me, using everything to hold back?

summary — watching silly little romance animes with natsume, as he unexpectedly points out that you guys act like silly romcom anime main characters.

pairings — natsume sakasaki x gender neutral reader.

tw — NONE...??? i think ooc natsu a bit, established relationship also this is really short. i only promised a small fic ok 🙁

a/n — @lunavixia hey. (threat)

"It's almost 2am in the morning, I genuinely start to wonder how you got me to watch fruits basket with you." Natsume deadpans at you, looking up at your sitting figure while your attention was most definitely glued to the tv screen.

You crane your head down to face him, a slight pout on your lips. "I'm wondering that, too.." He sighs, before you move slightly sideways on the couch so you're aligned with him, as he was sitting on the floor right under you.

He sucks in a breath through his teeth, clicking his tongue playfully. "Come on, I know what you're trying to do. Quickly," He pats his shoulder as you let out a small laugh.

You roll your eyes playfully, before placing your legs on his shoulder as he let's out a sigh of relief, when you run your fingers through his hair afterwards.

The male's head pulls back by it's own instinct, making eye contact with you for a second, before he closes his eyes in bliss and smiles, before he opens his eyes once more.

"You remind me of Tohru.. A bit." Natsume whispers, as you tilt your head in confusion, before pausing the anime playing on your tv, and then looking back down at him. "Why?"

He hums. "It just comes naturally. Don't you realize? You're like.. A sweetheart when it comes to things like these. And you somehow never get mad at me when I'm acting like an ass. And lastly.. You're pretty just like her."

You pause, processing his words for a second, before smiling softly. "Are we already in this part of our relationship where in you actually speak your mind for once?" You tease.

"I remember.. When you used to hate me for like.. What? I don't even know what reason you had." He groans as you bring up what happened before you even started dating, letting out a sigh.

"I'm pretty sure I hated you because.. I thought you were wayyy too nice for your being. Maybe in a way that I was jealous." He hums, while you let out a laugh.

"Jealous of what? Me being nice?"

He shakes his head. "Nope. Being mean is absolutely free. I was jealous of people you were being nice to, I guess? If that's how you would word it."

Now it's your turn to hum in amusement, before leaning back onto the couch— earning a small whine from Natsume.

"Stop that, I wanna see your face. What's the point of me looking up if I can't see it?" He snarks, before grabbing one of your hands to pull you back to sit up again.

"You could look up at the ceiling for a change," You humble him, saying it as if it was a lesson he needed to learn: as he shakes his head in response.

"The ceiling isn't as pretty as you are. It's so plain.." He says matter-of-factly, before you brush his bangs out of the way with your fingers, making another smile creep up to his lips.

"You're a bit like a cat." You mutter.

He let's out a small laugh, "Are you referencing me to Kyo.. Or?" You shake your head, "No! You just act like one generally." You quickly defend, continuing right after.

"You look like one too. Specifically.. Maybe a Siamese cat? Your eyes remind me of them sometimes."

You mutter, tilting your head slightly to look at him better. "Actually.. Screw that. You look like your cats." A playful scoff comes out of your boyfriends lips as you say that.

"They are my children at this point, no?"

"Our children. But I guess you have a point.."

a/n — i can't read u, but if u want, the pleasures all mine.

[stormingfrost]

Wonders of the Invisible World 

Tags: Body horror, major character death, Implied/Referenced child abuse, original characters, pitch/sandy

summary: 

Through hundreds of years of strange things happening all over the world, finally someone sees. The Bennett family is now at the forefront of every children's tale - except, now, they learn that these tales are not only real, but much, much darker than they first thought.

For @rotg-halloween day four: castle 

Read it on AO3

1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6 / 7 / 8 / 9 / 10 / 11 / 12 /13

chapter four: Castle 

under cut

“So Santa is a giant Lovecraftian creature?” 

Jamie nodded. Uncle Andy sighed. Aunt Vivian looked at his mom, nudging her. 

“You alright?” Mom nodded, giving her a look that meant they would talk later. She held her new present, the one that Santa gave her last minute, close to her. It was still unwrapped

“He said he loved the children of the world,” Jamie said. The way those giant hands cupped him and Sophie… gentle and nothing short of caring. He was wondrous and terrifying. 

Jamie looked down at the baby tooth in his hand. 

The what-ifs were racing in his head. He saw the boogeyman. He talked to Santa. What if the tooth fairy visited him? He knew his mom was also wondering the same thing. She kept glancing at him, a worried look on her face as she looked at the gap in his mouth.

“What was the thing in the woods?” Jamie asked. Vivian froze. 

“I’m not sure,” Andy said. “Some sort of zombie? He was a boy. I saw his grave. He was fourteen when he died. We took him to the colonial cemetery, and he showed us his grave and then told us to…” Andy sighed, grief weighing him down. 

“He wanted us to end his suffering,” Vivian finished. “We buried him.” 

Jamie looked down. 

Not a monster. Instead, the monster was actually just a poor, suffering undead creature. 

It had calmed him but also made him feel a bit guilty. He was scared of the poor boy. 

They were spending the night at Grandma’s. Sophie and Jamie got their own rooms, and so did Mom, but Andy and Vivian had to sleep in one, on two different beds that were perpendicular to each other. Jamie guessed that Mom’s room would’ve sat empty if she never married as well, but since it was given to her, they didn’t take it away after the divorce. 

He still remembered being angry at his grandparents. They didn’t support the divorce and nearly stopped talking to his Mom. They only started talking when they realized they wouldn’t see him or Sophie again. 

He sat the tooth under his pillow. He heard Vivian and Mom whispering. 

“What if she’s real? What if she takes the tooth?” 

“I’m not sure.” 

Jamie lay down, staring up at the ceiling. Ordinarily, he’d stay awake for as long as he could, waiting to catch the tooth fairy. After seeing a zombie, the boogeyman, and Santa, he was sure she was real. 

But did he want to see her? A little bit. He was sure she wouldn’t be anything like he expected. 

He turned on his side, staring at the door. Light drifted in from the hallway. 

A strong, unnatural drowsiness fell over him. He blinked his eyes open. The lull of sleep washed over him. 

And then he was awake again. It was dark. 

There was someone in the room with him, whispering. It wasn’t a familiar voice. 

“Left central incisor. Look at how he flossed!” 

Jamie grabbed his flashlight, pointing it at the voice. 

The woman looked towards him, a look of surprise on her face. She was mostly a bird-like creature, with legs like a bird and feathers covering her body. Her arms and face were the only human features Jamie could make out. Her wings flapped. 

“Hello,” he said. The woman shook herself. 

“Greetings.” 

“I knew you’d come.” The woman smiled at that. 

“Of course! You’ve got wonderful teeth. Shame about the memories though.” 

“Memories?”

The woman nodded and hummed, and then Jamie remembered his father. He shivered. 

“See? They are bad. Wouldn’t it be better if you didn’t remember the bad things?” 

“I don’t know…” Jamie debated. “It’s a big part of my life.” 

The Tooth fairy dismissed Jamie’s words. 

“But it hurts you. Don’t you want to be happy? I wish I could go back and stop him. But I am not a creature of time. However, I am the ruler of memories. I can make you forget and remember anything I please. I control your perception of time and life.” 

Jamie suddenly regretted waking up. 

“Don’t mess with my head,” he snapped. The Tooth fairy clicked her tongue. 

“Foolish children shouldn’t talk to me like that. Now you’ve forced my hand.” 

Jamie got up. 

“No! Give my tooth back!” 

Then his mind went blank. 

“What would you like to remember?” Her voice whispered. 

“The names of planets? Your mother’s name? Your native language?” 

He couldn’t recall his own name. He looked at her in alarm. 

“Stop.”

“You should know better, after all you’ve seen. Don’t talk to me like that.” 

Memories flooded him. His mother. His name. His sister. His friends. The names of his teachers. The answer to the math problem that he forgot on the latest quiz. The details of the silver locket his mom always wore. The one time he gave a book report and tipped over his shoelaces. 

He slumped over, exhausted. 

“A pain-free memory is best, Jamie. Don’t worry. I’ll keep your memories safe. I have a palace where I keep them. They will be guarded and protected.” 

With that, she was gone. Jamie looked around. 

Then he grabbed the pillow, looking under it. He got twenty dollars from her. 

He looked back to where she was. 

Why was he angry at her? He couldn’t recall. 

Morning came, and he shuffled upstairs, to where there were warm pancakes and the smell of coffee. His mom smiled at him. 

“She’s real,” he said, holding up the twenty. “I talked to her.” 

“Did… anything happen?” Jamie struggled to remember their conversation. 

“She said I have nice teeth and I floss well.” 

“You got a twenty from her?” Andy said. “Right on, little dude!” Jamie shrugged. He still had that feeling. Like he was forgetting something important. But he couldn’t remember what it was. 

“Good morning, Jamie!” Grandpa said, coming up behind him. Jamie nodded, distracted. 

“What do you say?” Grandpa nudged him. 

“Dad!” His mom scolded. “Be nice.” 

“Well, we don’t want him to end up like his father, now, don’t we?” Mom got up in an instant, dragging Grandpa out of the dining room. 

“Wow,” Andy said. “That’s a new low for him. I’d be surprised if she talks to him again.” 

Jamie looked up. 

“What does he mean?” Andy sighed. 

“Your dad wasn’t nice. He was comparing you not verbally answering him to your dad’s abuse.” 

Jamie’s eyebrows scrunched together. 

“I… I don’t remember my dad.” 

Andy looked down. He looked at the twenty-dollar bill in Jamie’s hand. 

“Did the Tooth fairy do something to you?” He asked urgently. Jamie shrugged. 

“I dunno. I don’t remember a lot of the conversation.” 

Andy frowned. 

“Joyce,” he called. “Something’s wrong.”

[jawbone-xylophone]

Soooo this fandom has consumed me. Take this. It’s not a good intro, but the Link from one of the AUs in my folder demanded to meet Fierce Dad. So. Context: Linked Universe shenanigans, Fierce Deity was necessary, and in the aftermath it gets a look at my blindfolded Wild.

Game start.

-🧿⚔️🧿⚔️🧿-

“Oh…”

Whatever the Chain had been expecting, it wasn’t the way the Fierce Deity’s sword dropped an inch. Still expressionless, but in that moment entirely unguarded in a way the warrior god had never been, white eyes fixed on the blindfolded hero.

Wild’s head tilted minutely, a puppet’s approximation of a question. He did his best to emote when he could, but it always… fit wrong, like the taut creak of a too-tight tunic. “Yes?”

Warriors was hissing warnings from the sidelines that went completely unheeded, as the unchained god took a step forward, then another, well inside zweihander range, well inside arm’s range-

A gauntleted hand cupped Wild’s chin with a gentleness he’d only seen from the Princess, tilting him slightly like fragile pearl in the testing hand of the jeweler. This close, the deity’s face looked quite literally carved, the thin trail of wood grain crawling up lips and nose like ancient scars. When it spoke, its teeth flashed like white steel peeking from the scabbard. “You’re close. Not close enough, but… perhaps closer than you should be.” Glowing eyes narrowed slightly, woodgrain fingertips ghosting over the curve of a cheekbone, beneath the soft breath under his nose, as if blind.

“….I’m the Hero of the Wild,” he offered. “I died once. Is that what you mean?”

“You did what,” shrilled a voice that might have been Hyrule, but it was hard to focus past the intense attention of the blank-eyed god whose fingers were hesitating at the edge of his blindfold. Wild blinked (and blinked and blinked and blinked, data processing, data comparison) and let it linger, curious.

Stillness, for a long moment. Without looking away, the Fierce Deity’s helix blade twisted and thrust down firmly into the earth, quivering upright with a metallic hum as it freed its other hand to track the dip of his temple, his ear, wooden brow furrowing in a strangely organic way. “No,” it answered with more thought than breath. “You’re not a mask.”

Oh, he thought he understood now. Wild smiled, boyish and disarming and exactly what his Zelda wished he would do. “I’m not. I’m a weapon.”

(Distantly, in the background, he processed and stored for later the confusion of the Chain, worried voices, irritation overlying fear. There wasn’t anything to worry about.)

The deity’s hands went puppet-still for a moment. “Ah. That’s it, then.” A pass of attention down him, the feel of a gaze on his hip. “Not that?”

By this point the fingers on his face were just superfluous. Wild gave a very human sigh, nudged his head into the Fierce Deity’s bloodless hands. “Pull it up. Just…” An uncharacteristic pause, too many nanoseconds over the acceptable limit. “Don’t let them see.”

They were both weapons of the goddess. The Fierce Deity didn’t bother with reassurances, stepping slightly to the side to presumably angle him away before plucking the knot in his blindfold like the wing from a butterfly.

Wild blinked, lashes free for the first time in weeks, some part of him actually startled by the feel of sunlight on the bridge of his nose, skin hungry for it like new leaves in spring. He blinked, blinked again, the soft hum of some mechanism humming through his temple. It was… different, looking at someone like this.

The Fierce Deity’s eyes didn’t change, but he could see the blue glow of his own reflecting from its wooden cheekbone.

He was privately glad for the proximity, to be honest. It was less overwhelming to have such little information, eyes and hair and nose blocking out the view of the forest and its 187.5 species of tree, 100 species of bird, and 37.5 species of butterfly per square mile. He had no frame of reference for analyzing a thoroughly sealed god- and it was sealed, despite the way Legend was muttering darkly somewhere about charging in to rescue him and asking questions later.

It hummed, a strangely bright sound like a whetstone across good steel, before pressing his blindfold into his hands. “They will see regardless.”

“Not today.” He beamed- smiled, smiled, not beamed- in the easy, practiced way of Sheikah actors, something tried on until it warmed up to the shape of him like new leather boots. “We have monsters to kill and traveling to do, that’ll happen when it happens. I think the group is going to do something stupid if you don’t back up and possibly give Time back, though.”

It laughed, once, low and strangely warm like the sound of a woodwind, stepping back with a brusque gesture that had the helix blade ripping from the ground to meet his palm with a resonant hum. “A little fear is good for the heart.”

Smile curling into something more amused, Wild looked the chained god over head to toe with one last curious pass, and it slipped out before he could help himself: “Seal you later, Fierce Deity.”

Carved brows actually ticked up a fraction, the hand rising to its chin covering a steel-bright smile. “Watch yourself, bright eyes.” The fingers fit around the edge of its jaw, double-toned baritone trailing off into a hoarse gasp, and in the brief instant before Time doubled over Wild slammed his eyes shut like prison gates.

The bustle of the Chain closing in on them both was punctuated by the new knot in his blindfold, cloth and metal settling firmly over the bridge of his nose. Better this way, less information to filter as voices swirled around him.

(He blinked, and blinked, and blinked, and Saw the wireframe warp and weft of them anyway.)

[localplaguenurse]

I am just nosy, forgive me. Can you describe each one of your mutuals?

Buckle up people and prepare to get complimented >:3c

First and foremost, they’re all absolute sweethearts to me.

There are my irl friends, such as @wretchedshade, @granolabird, @siriuscitrus and @scales-of-stardust or beta as I usually refer to them. I share the same braincell with these people.

Wretchedshade has been my best friend since we were ten, we’ve been there for each other for 11 years. I initially got her into anime, and then she got me into jojo, and every once in a while we cry about Doukyuusei again. She’s a great artist and is really good at writing sad shit, which is why I write sad shit; to have the glory of finally making her cry. She kicked cancer’s teeth in a few months ago so it’s about goddamn time something good come her way and I WILL fight someone on that.

Granolabird is the dm for my dnd campaign, and like I said, absolute sweetheart, chaotic adhd haver (actually like most of my friend group is like this lmao we’re all queer and neurodivergent). Either way, we used to share thoughts on each other’s original stories, and we still do sometimes but it’s mostly just sending each other tiktoks/reels like “this you” or “this your oc.”

Siriuscitrus is usually pretty hyper, but also tries to be v considerate of everyone’s feelings. If you said that the McDonald’s employee put pickles on your burger when you said no, they’d probably be the one to tell them. They’re also scarily good at vibechecking people and told me I give “future he/they vibes” and like a week later I said “fuck you’re right oh my god.”

You’ve probably seen me and beta’s interactions on here or in the ao3 comments. We enjoy our like playful rivalry/enemyship. I like to torment tease her and she usually gets me back pretty good, it’s all in good fun. It’s also really funny to me whenever we meet up, I tell myself “you are friends with them for reasons other than fic so do not make it about fic” and then we’ll spend literally hours talking about and brainstorming fic ideas. It just Happens.

I’m also gonna add @memory-mortis into here because while we’ve not met irl I’ve introduced him to my friend group. Yet another sweetheart, love her art style a lot, and she was one of the first comments I got on ginkgo trees to motivate me to keep going. I was kinda worried about bringing him into my friendgroup because like if I’m not overthinking I am not thinking At All. I was super relieved and happy that she like IMMEDIATELY fit in with everyone so :D

For some of my other close but only on tumblr/ao3/outside my general friendgroup mutuals! (There are too many so I’m sorry if you’re not here it’s mostly people I interact with more regularly ;-;)

@crimson-ashes who I have occasionally with absolute love called my “askbox gremlin” because they live in my inbox. I need to stress this is affectionate because genuinely, I love opening tumblr and seeing I’ve got asks from them. They gotta stop posting Astarion though because I’m feeling So Tempted to play BG but I know my laptop would kill itself (joking).

@crystalflygeo and I know I’ve called everyone sweethearts but genuinely, she’s probably one of the sweetest people I’ve had the pleasure of talking to. She’s really wholesome (unlike her writing which is never gonna be a complaint in my book, good soup) and super supportive of other people.

@madamemachikonew who’s super polite and really kind. She’s also really creative/smart when it comes to referencing real world art and philosophy in her writing and integrating it into her own worldbuilding. I would have never thought to have done that, and it makes her writing very unique!

We don’t interact as much but @probably-doesnt-exist, @ethve, @euniveve and @ainescribe are such talented artists and super sweet, have literally made me screech and cackle with utter joy whenever they draw the characters from ginkgo trees. I rotate through which art becomes my phone’s lock/home screens.

This is long af but fuck it, I wanna brighten people’s days and I told myself to say “I love you” to my friends and family more, so consider this one big “I love you!” to y’all. It’s a pleasure talking to y’all!

[unpunishablelamb]

Animal Impulses (Kai Anderson x Reader)

First Kai fanfic i guess?! I really tried my best to keep him as canon-accurate as possible plus i’ve noticed there’s an alarming lack of fanfics for him?! +my requests are open

NONE OF THIS REPRESENTS MY POLITICAL OPINION!! This is his character and i think erasing the most problematic aspect of his character would be wrong.

TW: manipulation, referenced physical abuse, drug abuse, animal abuse, misogyny, redpilling uhhhh lmk if i missed any

“Assume the position, pinky up”

The words seem all too familiar coming out of his mouth now.

She has heard them often and yet she was sure she would never get tired of them.

They caused some kind of muscle-memory trigger in her and she was sure that even if she would have wanted to, she couldn’t have denied him.

Almost like a Pavlov dog she thinks while chewing on the inside of her cheek until it bleeds, to hide the grin that threatens to give away her amusement.

Without hesitation she interlocks their pinkies, smiling softly at him.

She knows he likes this kind of smile, not aggressive, not too open, no teeth, just pretty.

Animals would bear their teeth when they felt frightened, Kai had reminded her.

And fear was weakness.

“You’re smart enough to know that you were born to serve” he speaks, his voice almost irritatingly loud in the absolute quiet of the basement.

His brown eyes seem black.

They didn’t allow an escape, they would see right through her if she would try to lie or back out.

She had learned that lesson the hard way.

“You know i’m loyal to you” her smile unwavering, and she truly meant every word.

She would have said the same without being under Kai’s pinky oath, without him being in the same room.

She meant what she said and she hope that he knew.

“Good girl” he praises and his black-hole-like eyes seem to drown out the dim light of the room.

She had always had an ambivalent relationship with the dark.

Whether it was her hiding under her blankets in the pitch black as a little girl when she was scared of the monsters the night had created, or getting lost in Kai’s eyes to a point where she struggled remembering her own name.

He picks up his glass of leftover, non-poisoned coolaid and takes a sip from it, watching her closely with his unblinking eyes.

They always seemed empty no matter what he did, whether he was praising her for her good behaviour, disciplining her, killing someone, fucking her.

(rest is on ao3 cause i don’t like posting actual fics to tumblr cause i’m scared america is gonna deny me my visa or whatever)

[wily-one24]

24, 35, 39, 76 - Wicked Game

@dahllaz, getting me to think early in the morning. Go you!

24. Worst writing advice anyone ever gave you?

I mean, I can't really say. Probably that "write what you know", because... If we all stuck to writing about our own lives, there'd be a pretty big dearth of interesting art out there.

But I cannot remember any specific piece of advice that was particularly bad. I've been writing for as long as I've been reading. I remember writing a story in class when I was eight, called "Bugs Bunny, Brooke, and the Giant Banana", which covers Cross Over Fic (Loony Tunes and Roald Dahl), RPF (my friend Brooke), and AU (the giant banana referenced James and the Giant Peach). I actually think I still have it somewhere.

The first University Course I did after High School was a Bachelor of Arts Editing and Publishing and included in that was a writing course where we learned to extrapolate what we wanted from writing advice and leave the rest. So, even if I had received "bad" writing advice, I probably didn't listen to it.

But what is "bad" writing advice? I think it's more "find what works for you". Some things will work for some people, and others will work for other people. What is good advice for one might be bad for another.

35. What is one essential thing to remember when writing a villain? 

They're human.

They have their own motivations and needs and feelings. Very few people set out thinking "I want to be the bad guy" or "How can I fuck up the world for everyone else?" (not say there *aren't* people like that, because there are, but they are few and far between and they are uninteresting to a story).

I think the line into villainy comes when people forget that their actions affect other people and stop caring that what they want/need is going to negatively affect others. When they no longer care if they hurt others to get what they want.

Even if somebody IS waking up wanting to be the worst person ever, that they revel in their misdeeds and the pain of others, then there is usually a reason WHY. There is a story behind it.

I am of the firm belief that nobody is born evil. "Evil isn't born, it's made". It's the old Nature Vs Nurture debate. While nature does play it's part, so does nurture. Even the worst person in the world can grow to be just barely decent if they have the right surroundings.

If you're writing a villain, find that story. It doesn't have to be a redemption or an excuse, but it should be there. What led them to that place?

What would make an average, reasonable person act that way? How closely can you get your reader to identify with some aspects of your villain? How uncomfortable to do you want that comparison to be?

(That said, it sounds hollow, given the way I wrote WL in D5, but that is a singular story, given the canon characterisations we had, and the story wasn't actually about WL himself, it was more about the healing from his actions. Had I wrote a story about him, there would have been more examinations of his character).

39. Share a snippet from a WIP

Oh, I see what you did there. You sneaky.... ok.

****

"Now, Captain, you've never spoken publicly about your time with William Lewis."

She closes her eyes for just a second, debating whether or not to start the conversation about a debate over phrasing. It's not <i>her time</i>. She was kidnapped, held hostage, and traumatised. Starting off as an adversary, however, is probably not the best idea.

"No." She says as she opens her eyes and meets the audience head on. "I prefer to focus on the recovery more than the time itself."

Sheree nods with sympathetic eyes like this is the wisest thing she's ever heard in her life.

Olivia's teeth start to ache.

****

76. Did you have any ideas that didn’t make the final cut of Wicked Game?

Not particularly?

I mean, I've spoken before about how the idea originally in my head was a lot darker, The abuse was definitely more intentional than referenced. So there is that.

But I think most of what I intended came out in the fic. Probably there were scenes in my head that were never fully explored, but made it in there in some way.

For example: I wanted to do more of a thing with Melinda after Stuckey and how she noticed that Olivia's story didn't match the timeline. There wasn't really a space for it, though, and it still got referenced later when Tucker confronted Elliot, so we know it happened off screen.

I would have loved to do more with Olivia and Eli.

There was a whole other branch that could have happened with Mistress Anna.

But in general, what I wanted for Wicked Game was fairly well explored.

[astr0disiac]

ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ 4: ᴛʜᴇ ᴄᴏɴᴄᴇᴘᴛ ᴏꜰ ꜱᴇʟꜰɪꜱʜɴᴇꜱꜱ

☆ꜱʏɴᴏᴘꜱɪꜱ:

Tiana feels as though she deserves the suffering she's endured over the past five years after the tragic loss of her husband, Naveen. But Nanami wants to prove that she is capable of giving and receiving love again.

But even the sweetest of kisses can't heal the sourest of wounds.

An office-work romance like no other, filled with love, loss, and betrayal from those Tiana thought she could trust the most.

☆ᴡᴏʀᴅ ᴄᴏᴜɴᴛ: 18,154

☆ᴄᴏɴᴛᴇɴᴛ ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢ: implied/referenced suicide [mild], implied/referenced self-harm [mild], implied/referenced miscarriage, angst, slow burn

☆ᴍʏ ꜱɪɴᴄᴇʀᴇꜱᴛ ᴀᴘᴏʟᴏɢɪᴇꜱ ꜰᴏʀ ᴀɴʏ ᴍɪꜱꜱᴘᴇʟʟɪɴɢꜱ ᴏʀ ɢʀᴀᴍᴍᴀᴛɪᴄᴀʟ ᴇʀʀᴏʀꜱ☆

Tiana wiped feverishly at the filthy table, wiping away the loose crumbs and smeared sauces to prepare for the next customer. Today had been so busy, customer after customer, relentless crowds swarming in droves, keeping her on her toes as she tended to their every need. Refills, napkins, desserts, you named it, Tiana would bring it to you with a beaming smile, her dimples adorning her cheeks with a perfect set of teeth gleaming behind her plump lips. She was happiest on busy days like this, it made the time pass way faster.

As she finished cleaning the table to the point where she got a glimpse of her own reflection, she heard the bell above the restaurant ring, signaling the entry of a new customer. Putting on a rich smile, she turns to greet them with warmth and joy.

“Welcome to Duke’s-”

And her voice gets lodged in her throat.

Everything around her goes dark, except for a single light that illuminates the dashing young man across the room. Eyes lively and expressive as ever, his paperboy hat clutched to his chest. Tiana felt a surge of emotions come forth as she looked at his familiar face. He held this goofy grin, nose scrunched up like a rabbit.

“Naveen?”

Naveen holds his arms out and Tiana immediately runs into them, sobbing her heart out. She couldn’t do anything but wail into his shoulder, knowing her make-up likely ruined his white shirt. He snaked his arms around her resting his chin on the top of her head as she quaked like the earth when its plates moved. He exhaled in relief, massaging her shoulders.

“I told you I’d be back to marry you.” He smiled, pulling away from her to get a look at her face. He scanned over him with his eyes, taking in her features as if it were a breath of fresh air, as if it were the last time he would get a chance to look. Tiana continued to cry fat tears that streamed to the ground, bottom lip quivering as she tried to figure out what to say.

“Stop crying.” He cooed, wiping at her face lovingly as he chuckled. Tiana closed her eyes, not believing in her own sight, shutting them instead. Naveen took the opportunity to lean in and kiss her eyelids, Tiana whining like a wounded animal every time she felt his touch. It was like electricity coursed through every place he touched, stinging her skin, and her heart.

“You’re making a mess, my love.”

Tiana opened her eyes and looked down, realizing she had cried a puddle at her and Naveen’s feet. How could a person cry so much? It was like years of tears had accumulated at the soles of her feet.

Embarrassed, she gives a throaty laugh as she wipes her face. As she brings the back of her hand to her face, she feels something sharp poke her cheek. Brows wrinkling, she looks at her left hand, taking note of the silver band on her finger, but it wasn’t Naveen’s ring that she usually wore. It was the actual ring that he gave her when he proposed; a silver band with a small yet elegant diamond adorning the center. She stares at it, blinking rapidly as she examines it.

No rock?

The voice thunders as it echoes through the darkness, startling her as she looks around, trying to find where the disembodied voice was coming from. She looked at Naveen, who was now pressed in a classic tux.

“What did you say?” She squinted at him.

Nanami grabs Tiana’s left hand, studying the ring with a dissatisfied look on his face. He brought the hand to his lips, kissing her fingers gently.

“I said, are you sure you didn’t want another ring? This one is kind of…” He didn’t finish his sentence, but Tiana knew what he was going to say.

“Plain?” She finishes for him, hand on her jutted out hip. “It’s fine, Naveen. You know I don’t care about things like that. And I don’t want it to overpower Mama’s dress.” She says, twisting as she looks at herself in the tall mirror. She felt like a princess, each thread and layer sewn with love and care. Her mother spared no expense making this for her, it had always been her dream to make her daughter's wedding dress. She was so meticulous with her seams, the fabric giving and curving around Tiana’s body, and a veil attached to a crown. Tiana felt the dress was more than enough, and didn’t want to seem greedy by asking for more, though she knew Naveen would bend over backwards for her even if she was stubborn.

“I want to make sure everything goes exactly the way you want it to. It’s your day, my love.”

Tiana felt Naveen come behind her, snaking his arms around her waist. He buried his face into the crook of her neck as they swayed back and forth, relishing in each other’s presence.

“It’s our day.” Tiana hums, allowing her hands to rest on top of his. “It’s already more than what I could ever ask for.” She brings a hand to his hair, massaging it gently as he places gentle kisses on her collarbone. She giggled like a child as she felt this tickling sensation.

“Naveen, you know it’s bad luck to see the bride before the wedding, right?”

He raised his face to look at hers, their noses practically touching as he grinned. “You still believe in superstitions like that?”

“In a place like New Orleans? Yes.” She teases him. Laughing into each other, Tiana takes a step forward, and steps into something wet. She looks down and see’s water resting at her ankles, causing the bottom of her handmade dress to be soggy and heavy. Gasping, she picks up the dress, water trickling back to the ground.

“Oh no, see Naveen? I told you.” She whined, feeling a bit dejected that her supposed perfect day was ruined. She turned to Naveen, who looked as if he had seen a ghost. His face was pale as if he had gotten a glimpse of Death himself, and his curls had fallen victim to gravity as they fell from their usual style. Tiana’s face was shrouded in concern as she brought a hand to his cheek, consoling him.

“Naveen, hey…I was just joking…”

“I’m sorry.” He leaned into her touch, eyes filled with sorrow. “It’s my fault that you’re like this.”

He put his large hands around her swollen belly that had been moving a lot lately, and causing her body to ache more than usual.

“Naveen, this is natural.” Tiana reassures him, looking into his brown eyes with a gentle gaze. “My back is gonna hurt, my joints are gonna swell. I’m gonna be a lot more tired, and a lot less active. It’s not your fault. I wanted this too.”

“But the restaurant. Your dream.” He sounded so upset, as if he should shoulder all the guilt for Tiana putting her life on pause. Tiana grabs Naveen’s face with both her hands, bringing his forehead to hers as if to connect their minds, and not just their hearts.

“My dream wouldn’t be complete…without you in it.” She says gently as she squeezes his cheeks. He can’t help but chuckle deeply, his laugh vibrating through Tiana’s body as well as his own. Tiana loved the sound of his laugh, it was like a hymn on a record that she’d play all day, the needle skipping over the grooves representing her own heartbeat. It was the perfect compliment to her own whenever they talked, laughed, cried, or sung together, it produced something so harmonious, so beautiful. And now those concepts would take a physical form.

“I can never live up to the legend herself, but I promise I’ll do my best at the Palace.” Naveen said, referencing her restaurant. Tiana’s cheeks turned rosy until she felt a kick in her belly that caused her to keel over with a sharp inhale. Immediately, Naveen was over her, gripping her forearms to steady her as she stood back up.

“I’m alright, I’m alright.” She says, holding the base of her back with her hand, exhaling through puckered lips.

“Let’s get you in bed. You need to rest.” Naveen says, one hand around her waist and the other almost shielding her stomach. “Hey, little tadpole, stop kicking your mother.”

“Baby, I told you to stop calling her that.” Tiana giggled, but despite her hatred of frogs, the nickname for the child had grown on her.

They waded through the water that seemed to keep rising, sloshing through the darkness until they came to their bed. After propping up a few pillows on the headboard, Naveen helped Tiana into her side of the bed, then walked to the right side, the water almost waist deep now as it kept rising. The sound of rushing water filled Tiana’s ears as she began to panic, the murky water producing a muddy smell around her. She looked over at Naveen, who was calmly crawling into bed. He scooted closer to Tiana, nuzzling his face in the space between her protruding stomach and her swollen breasts, almost immediately falling asleep. Tiana was rendered speechless that her husband could fall asleep so easily in a situation like this, the water lapping at their duvet as it left grassy stains around the edge of the bed. She grabbed his shoulder, shaking his limp body aggressively as her breathing seemed to speed up.

“Naveen? Naveen!” She yelled his name over and over, but nothing seemed to disturb his slumber, even when the water had risen past their bed, and began seeping into Tiana’s pajamas. The water was freezing, so cold that it numbed every part of her. Naveen stayed blissfully unaware as he was fully submerged in water, but Tiana bore witness to everything. She began hyperventilating, eyes flitting around in the dark. The water seemed to rise even quicker, lining with Tiana's shoulders. She stretched her neck in an attempt to keep her face above the water, but resistance was futile. The last thing she heard was her own gasps before even she was fully submerged in the green waters.

She began floating upward, only realizing this when she looked down to see Naveen still sprawled on the bed, unconscious to everything that was going on. So she swam with all her might to reach him, hands cupped and arms slicing through the murky water, but he still seemed to sink. Tiana kicked her legs sporadically, inching to him as she fought the liquid. Finally, after what seemed like eternity, she reached him, only to find that he was beyond saving.

The bed seemed to swallow Naveen whole, his lifeless body being engulfed into the mattress. Tiana grabbed his left arm, almost yanking it out the socket, refusing to let him sink any further, but it was useless. Slowly, his body continued to descend into the bed. Tiana clawed at his arm, but he continued to slip out of her grasp since she couldn’t get a good grip on him. The only thing she was able to grab off his body was his silver ring, which floated towards her so effortlessly. She grabbed it with one swipe, and just as she was about to turn to Naveen, hands began grabbing her from the heaven’s above, pulling her towards the surface.

Tiana fought against them, smacking their arms away, but she felt heavy in the water, her movements slowed as she struggled.

No, no, no!

The breath Tiana had been saving began to bubble from her throat as she tried to scream, yell, cry out, something, anything. But her struggles went unheard as she continued to be pulled upwards, watching her husband disappear within the depths.

As water filled her orifices, she tasted something metallic, the water stained with a deep red as it leaked out of her. Her stomach produced a sharp pain as she convulsed in the water, tussling with whoever dared to stop her from saving her husband. The love of her life, the daytime to her night, the sun to her moon.

She choked on the swampy water, the liquid filling her lungs as she fought and prayed that someone would get Naveen. That whatever higher power up there would have mercy on them and stop this feeling of hurt, pain, and loss.

Please, she thought as she reached her hand into the depths, unable to fight off whoever was pulling her anymore. Save them, not me.

She was tired, body heavy as it refused to keep up with her will to fight.

Save them, not me. Save them, not me. Save them, not me! Please, please, please, pleasepleasepleaseplease-

“Please!” Tiana lets out a strangled gasp as she shoots up from her bed, swallowing gulps of air as if it would be sucked away again. She looked around her room, trying to remember where she was, and where she wasn’t. What was reality, and what was a dream. She clutched her duvet to her chest, trembling as her eyes filled with tears, and the way she sobbed into her covers she was sure she would drown in them just like in her nightmare.

Her heart felt as if it were rung out and left to dry in the sun, and her stomach felt so queasy as she curled over, wiping her face aggressively to stop the tears, but they kept falling. All she could do was moan in agony, temples pulsing as the visions replayed over and over, succumbing to the overwhelming feeling of despair. She hated this, she hated this empty feeling, she hated being alone. But the one person she wanted the most had become unobtainable. 

She looked at her digital clock, the time reading 12:04am. Nanami told her he would be working late again today, so Tiana replaced her dinner plans with sleep instead, which she concluded to be one of the worst mistakes of her life. Ever since she got back from home, her dreams were plagued with different renditions of the past, but the order of events were more or less the same. The first time she and Naveen had met, her wedding day, a memory during her pregnancy, then finally the night everything went to hell; each night the ghosts of her pasts grew more vivid and violent. She always ended up drowning in her own tears, her own sorrows, and her own memories at the end. The only thing that seemed to continue on was her hollow life.

Which she had tried to end, only to fail all three times.

The first time, she tried overdosing which only led her back to the hospital to get her stomach pumped. The second time, Lottie scrambled in, sobbing into Tiana’s thighs to stop her from dangling from the ceiling, which is what led her to Japan. The third time, Nanami came to check on her at the top of the office building after she had just made up her mind to jump off.

Nanami, she thought. Sniffling, she grabbed her phone from where it was charging on her nightstand, hands shaking as she unlocked it.

He had saved her in more ways than anyone could ever imagine. Not only did he save her life, but he seemed to always save her from her own bout of loneliness.

It wasn’t the first time she had called him pertaining to her visions, because she couldn’t swallow her pride long enough to call Lottie. It had been well over two weeks, the thankful month of November had slipped into mid-December, and she was still ignoring her best friend’s calls. She told herself it was so she could spend time with her new fiancé, but she was telling such a bold lie that even the devil himself would be impressed by her tenacity.

So, when her nights turned restless, she would call Nanami, and he would answer every time, sometimes right after the first ring. The first time, she had called him on impulse, and immediately hung up the phone. He called her back in slight distress, wondering if she was alright. And she cried. She didn’t tell him all the details of her dream, just said it was a hellish nightmare, paired with the information that her sister Lottie had gotten engaged. How she felt awful that she couldn’t even find a glimmer of happiness in her heart to congratulate her sincerely. It tore Tiana apart that she couldn't find the strength to support her as Lottie had cared for her.

Tiana asked Nanami to stay on the phone with her, at least until she fell asleep. She didn’t know who else to call, and she knew the request was a strange one, but Nanami obliged without any questions. His own voice riddled with sleep in the early hours of the morning, he talked to her gently, his voice soothing her back into a peaceful dream. Tiana wasn’t sure why, but it gave her some comfort, as if someone were still sleeping next to her, talking into her ear. It reminded her of how Lottie would spend countless nights cuddled up next to Tiana to help the widow fall asleep. It gave her a sense of security she had been lacking. And Nanami, being the gentleman that he was, would stay on the phone call well past Tiana’s slumber, listening to her soft exhales through the speaker. He’d watch the sun rise, unable to sleep because the muscle pounding between his ribcage was too loud, and he would prevent his hands from shaking by balling the comforter into his fists. He wished he could do more for her, but work had gotten the best of him.

Due to the fourth quarter's ending approaching faster than expected, and his colleagues and subordinates scrambling to do extra work before the promotional event, he was thrown into countless other projects that were teamed with other departments and people. One of those people being Misha.

Nanami had worked with Misha only once before, a few years back when she was an intern and he was her admin. She was an annoying little thing, going out of her way to impress everyone with a big name around the facility. Though she did her job, and quite well for an intern too, she was always in the face of the higher ups. It annoyed Nanami to hell and back how sickeningly sweet she would act with everyone, running their errands, getting them coffee, even trying to do their work for them. Nanami thought it to be shallow, and when she tried that with him, he shut her down firmly. He hated superficial people like that who were ready to brown their nose and mouth for a raise of a couple pennies, especially when he worked the way that he did to get to where he was as quickly as possible.

This encounter led Nanami to have a negative opinion formed on her already, and when Tiana mentioned how the woman was a bother, it definitely caused him to dislike her even more. But as of late, since the party, Misha had mellowed out quite a bit.

It could have also been because the promotional season was so close, but she seemed so hyper focused on everything. She didn’t miss a beat, and when she was put in charge of the fourth quarter theme because her own party went so well, she didn’t bat an eye. Maybe it was because of the forced proximity, but Nanami couldn’t help but get to know her. Her ambitions, dreams, goals. He felt bad for prejudging her, she was truly just another human being trying to get through life by the skin of her teeth. So, as Nanami exited the building with the group of workers, he felt it would be unjust of him to voice his thoughts.

“Misha.” He called her, and she fell back from the crowd, looking at him quizzically. Her pale face was tinted with pink as she nuzzled into her scarf in an attempt to ward off the cold. Her dark eyes gazed up at him from her light brown bangs.

“Nanami?” She asks as she tilts her head.

“I just wanted to let you know that I’m impressed.” Nanami says with his hands stuffed deep into his coat pockets. “I even looked at your work from way back in August. You’ve been doing well.”

“August?” Misha questions nervously. Up until recently, Misha’s work has not been her own. She swallows thickly, looking at the ground. She couldn’t properly say thank you, just bowed her head in shame. She couldn’t look into Nanami’s honest and sincere gaze.

Nanami, mistaking this action as bashfulness, smiles softly. He raises a hand, patting her shoulder while nodding his head.

“Good job. Keep it up.”

He then walks past her, the group ahead that stopped briefly to watch was riddled with whispers and giggles, but Nanami didn’t care about any of that. He was planning on leaving the crowd to their vices, head home before it got later than it already was, when Misha called his name.

“Wait, Nanami!” She exclaimed, running up to catch up with him.

“Hm?”

He turns around just as she’s back in front of him with slightly shortened breath. She clutches her arms to herself as she tries to work up the courage to make her request.

“Nanami, I-I was wondering if you were going to the bar with us tonight?” Her voice was small as she spoke, looking up at his intimidating gaze. Nanami hummed, thinking about the offer. He was a bit hungry, and he didn’t get to hang out with Tiana, nor had he for a while. He balanced out the pros and cons of going, deciding on whether it was worth it or not.

“Well…maybe I can-”

Suddenly his phone chimed. He looked at the screen, Tiana’s name accompanied with a frog emoji brightening his wallpaper. He moved his phone screen from public eyes, turning the opposite direction as he answered immediately, but Misha had already caught it.

She also caught bits and pieces of the conversation.

“Are you alright?...Of course not, I just got off…Don’t be…You don’t sound alright…”

Then there was a long pause as Nanami listened intently to each word said between wet sniffles. He then whispered lowly into the receiver, but not low enough.

“Do you want me to come over?”

Of course Tiana was quick to decline, but Nanami was much faster.

“I’m coming right now.”

He hung up the phone before she could offer a rebuttal. Misha watched him shake his head, his neck hung low. Her frown deepened. He was going over to her house? Right now?

“Nanami?” She urged him, and he turned around to face her. “Are you coming?”

She just wanted to put him on the spot in front of everyone else. But she should have known he wasn’t one to cave so easily to the pressure of his peers.

“I’m sorry, something came up. I’ll have to decline.” He said quickly, pivoting his foot to leave the other way, but she called after him, determined not to let him go without receiving a proper explanation.

“What happened?”

“I don’t have any time to explain. It’s an emergency.”

“If it’s that serious, I can come with you-” She insists, but he cuts her off.

“No, it’s not that important.”

Her frown deepens as she hides it in her scarf. “You just said it was an emergency?”

“I mean, it’s nothing for you to worry about. I will be sure to join you all next time.”

And he was gone before she could question him anymore.

“Don’t worry.” Someone said behind her, voice oozing with sympathy. “Nanami-sama is a tough nut to crack.”

“I guess.” Misha said, but she wasn’t sure that statement rang true.

Someone did in a couple months what she couldn’t do in a couple years.

Nanami’s foot was practically through the bottom of the car as he sped to Tiana’s place. He didn’t like how she sounded over the phone; restrained and tired. Downright drained, and he had a bit of an inkling why. Nanami blamed himself partly for being unavailable, the electrifying nights they used to vent out stale air and rid themselves of their grievances was replaced with late work nights and cold TV dinners. He tried talking to her over the phone, but it wasn’t the same. It felt so artificial and out of touch, and he felt the urge to hear her naturally, to be near her. But he’d allow the thoughts to be pulled out of him as he got roped back into work every night. Thoughts like that were useless, and they were leading him down places he was too fearful to tread. So he stood outside Tiana’s door, trying to work up the nerve to knock as he organized his disheveled thoughts.

He had completely lost his mind. He looked at the watch on his wrist, blowing air through his cheeks as the clock's face stared back at him. The numbers 12:43am had never looked so immodest.

This is for her, he told himself. I am simply doing her a favor.

His attempts at reassurance failed miserably as he pulled excuses out of his ass.

Running a shaky hand through his hair, he knocks rapidly on the wooden door. Tiana, who had been pacing on the other side, barefoot in her silk set and robe, paused as she looked at the door.

There’s no way, she thought. Her heart slammed against her ribcage before dropping into her lower intestines. There’s just no way.

She pattered to the door, looking out the peephole to see Nanami tired and his appearance slightly disordered from his day at work.

“There’s no way.” She muttered, unlocking the door with shaky hands. She swung it open, her hand clutched to her tightened chest as a numbing breeze combs through her home.

“Nanami.” Tiana's voice is filled with grief, and her mind is confused. Her brows narrowed, eyes puffy as she tried to keep her lips in a straight line, but Nanami could see her chin threatening to wobble. Nanami didn’t know how to respond; she didn’t sound exactly pleased to see him. Her arms were folded across her chest, she kept pressing her toes into the floorboards, and her nails seemed to dig into her robbed arms. Nanami felt frustrated, unsure of what to do next. Here he was, yet again, attempting to comfort her without a definitive plan. He felt so useless. He opens his mouth, immediately closing it as he is unable to say anything intelligible. Finally, he runs his hands through his hair, his sight finding the detailing in the doorframe quite interesting at the moment. His jaw clenched as he swallowed hard. What could he do for her right now? What could he say to her right now?

Think, think, think.

“I’m sorry.” Tiana’s voice comes out garbled, a strangled cry escaping her throat as she chokes on the words. Nanami turns to look at her, unable to understand. What could she be apologizing for?

“I’m sorry.” She seemed to gasp for air between each syllable, shaking her head as she leaned forward. She wilted with every tear that escaped her reddened eyes, the silent cry building into something much more raw as her knees gave in with each step forward.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, Nanami.”

Seemingly falling into his arms, Nanami catches her with ease as she wails into his chest, clutching the fabric of his sweater. Nanami immediately goes to cradle her, an arm draped around her shoulders and one hand holding her head close to his chest as her screams are muffled in the fabric. Nanami had never heard a cry so desperate, so raw, and so painful. Each ear splitting sound rushing from the woman’s esophagus seemed to sing a wretched ballad of unadulterated misery. It felt as though each shout were piercing into his own heart as he grimaced, holding her tightly as if he could wring the pain out of her. Tiana could barely control her body, all her energy being poured into absolute hysterics as her lungs jerked in her chest, making it almost impossible to breathe properly.

“I’m sorry, Tiana.” Nanami said pained, his hair falling in front of his face as he held her tightly. Nanami hoped that the apology didn’t sound empty, insensitive, or that it was poorly timed. He meant it, and he wanted her to feel that he shared her grief, maybe not to the same extent, but that her feelings were heard, and that he would listen even if he went deaf. He would still see her even if he went blind. He would still feel her even if she wasn’t in his arms.

Nanami also apologized for the guilt.

He was sorry that he couldn’t do anything more. He was sorry that he couldn’t feel anything less.

He was sorry that he felt a sense of elatement due to her resting in his arms, even at the expense of crying herself dry.

A seed of selfishness had rooted inside his body, unbeknownst to him. And that seed was watered with the satisfaction of Tiana finally opening up to him.

“I’m sorry.”

Tiana had found refuge in the center of her brown loveseat, curled into a ball with a fuzzy blanket as her shell. She hiccuped and sniffed, trying to ease herself back into some state of tranquility as she watched Nanami busy himself in her kitchen- it was so strange, comforting, yet agonizing. Every now and then, his back looked like someone else’s, and it would send her spiraling all over again. The domestic feeling of it all was so painful that she had to gnaw on her bottom lip to keep herself sane, as if the pain produced by her teeth in her flesh was the only thing keeping her in the present.

Nanami fiddled around in the kitchen, getting acquainted with Tiana’s living area. The place was unrecognizable from the empty apartment that it was before, and it felt so warm, as if he had been embraced by a vanilla scented hug. Albeit, Tiana was holding onto him tightly a few minutes prior, and her perfume still lingered on his sweater.

The seafoam decor had been accented with different shades of brown, as if to mimic a river bed lapping at the ridges of soil that enclose it as it rushed to the next large body of water that it could find. Throw pillows, artworks of black and brown silhouettes, statuettes with exaggerated proportions, and a few candles that flickered in the abode. The bright, industrial light bulbs seemed to be replaced with warm, yellow lowlights, and if the situation wasn’t dire, Nanami would admit that there was a sensual appeal. The balcony curtains were drawn, and past the sliding door seemed to be a piece of the jungle; flora and fauna decorated the railings and floor of the balcony, the leaves swaying in the gentle night breeze. A few plants were huddled in various corners of the room, and it seemed to add a freshness to the air that was palatable. Nanami took a deep breath, his chest rising and falling gently as he poured some tea into two mugs. Grabbing them with both hands, he walks towards Tiana, whose piercing gaze he felt even when his back was turned, and settled down next to her, putting the mugs on the coffee table in front of them. Tiana shuffled to sit up, escaping the blanket briefly to grab the steaming cup. She blew gently over the top of the scorching beverage, not sure of how to proceed. She felt overwhelmed, yet at ease simultaneously, and that mixture of emotions made her head throb at the contradiction.

“I’m-” Tiana hesitates, not wanting to get into another quarrel with Nanami, who told her to stop apologizing before he ordered her to sit on the couch. An airy laugh leaves her nose as she shakes her head.

“I’m glad you’re here.” She admits, staring into the cup as the steam from the drink fanned across her face with heat.

“Of course.” Nanami said, leaning his back on the couch as he stared up at the ceiling with a half smile of sorts. “That’s what I’m here for.”

“I thought you were here to keep interns like me out of trouble?” Tiana jokes, though it was a bit half-hearted.

“I mean, there’s that too…” Nanami prods Tiana’s side gently with his elbow. “But I’ll always be there.”

That line made Tiana feel sick. That line will always be a lie no matter who’s mouth it slipped from.

The two sat there, restrained by their own thoughts as the silence settled in the room, so quiet that you could hear the flames flickering in the candles. So quiet that both of them were mortified that the other would hear their heart drumming in their chest.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Nanami asked gently, looking at her with a soft gaze. Tiana’s mouth dried up, so she sipped on her tea silently as Nanami waited patiently for her to respond. He didn’t want to push her, if all she needed was someone around then he would be that. The door was open, and it was her decision to shut it.

“What do you think of love, Mr. Nanami?”

Nanami paused the mug right before the heated glass grazed his lips, blinking rapidly.

What was he to make of a question like that?

“What do you mean?” He asked, putting the mug back down, and turning his shoulders to face the blanketed woman. She shuffled uneasily, tucking her feet into the blanket as she turned to him as well, her knees gently prodding his thigh as she turned.

“I mean-” Tiana spoke softly, leaning her head on the couch as she looked at him. She looked so delicate. “I’m sorry if this sounds a bit intrusive, but have you ever loved someone?”

Nanami paused, memories of his teen years flashing briefly before his eyes. He tilted his head as he looked at her with sincerity.

“I think I almost did.”

Tiana’s eyebrows jolt on her forehead in a bit of confusion.

“Almost?”

Nanami gave a weary smile, propping his arm on the couch as he leaned into the palm of his hand.

“I lost them before I could fully figure that out.”

“Oh…” Tiana’s voice wavers. She didn’t think Nanami might have experienced the same level of loss she has. But a part of her felt seen that he admitted that to her, empathetic, and felt their connection reach a whole ‘nother depth.

“It’s okay, I was just a kid then…” Nanami brushes it off. “I was too afraid back then to take that chance.” Nanami ponders for a moment, tilting his head as he looks into her big brown eyes.

“I regret that.”

“How so?”

“Isn’t it better to have loved and lost, than to never experience it at all?”

Tiana’s bottom lip jutted out, the statement gutting out her wretched insides.

“To love and lose, or to never give or receive it; both will leave you emptier than an alcoholic’s wine glass.” Tiana let out a dry laugh, her head lolling to the side. “Substance always being poured into you, but you’re emptied just as quick. It’s never enough. Just a temporary high that feels like the space underneath hell when you come down.” She rambled on like drunkard.

Tiana looked at the blonde, glancing over his face to watch his reaction. The way his brows furrowed, the way his eyes zipped across her face with concern. The small points of contact; the way his thigh seemed to jitter as her knees gently pressed into them. The shortened proximity, how Tiana could smell a hint of mint from his mouth from the tea, how her home seemed to be infiltrated with the smell of cedarwood that complimented the earthy tones of her home. That fact that her space was being occupied by a man after God knows how long made her chest tighten with how familiar yet foreign the sensation was.

Tiana didn’t love Nanami. Not in the slightest. She doubts she ever truly could. But she loved his company. She loved the fact that he provided her a sense of security. She loved that she could call on him at any time of the day or night, and he would be there to lend her a shoulder to cry on.

Yet she hated that dependency. She hated that when he wasn’t around, she seemed to sink back into her loneliness. He kept that at bay for her, and she would forever be grateful for his kindness, and that kindness would be paired with an immense amount of guilt.

Nanami was her high. Nanami was her alcohol, and without him she would have to suffer in sobriety as she battled against the truth.

Unbeknownst to her, she had become an alcoholic, abusing the substance that was his kindness to ease her own discomfort. She couldn’t help but wonder if Nanami was aware of this; he was far from a dumb man. But if he was aware, wouldn't he have drawn the line tonight? Wouldn't he have stated his boundaries, or uncomfortability?

She felt obligated to ask him this, as if it were to test the theories residing in the back of her mind.

“There’s nothing more endlessly beautiful, yet endlessly terrifying than loving someone. Don’t you think so, Nanami?”

Nanami paused as Tiana looked for some sort of reaction. The twitch of a leg, the jolt of the brow, the flicker of the eye, maybe even an audible slip up or a sign of blush. But Nanami stared back at her with intent as if to study her like a subject. His eyes were low as he looked back, maybe from drowsiness, maybe from feeling sly; she couldn’t tell. The answer he gave was much more surprising than Tiana could ever guess.

“I wouldn’t know yet.” He said it was as calm as a summer breeze.

“Yet?”

“I would like to.” He shrugs with a low chuckle, and though she was looking for Nanami to slip up, she ended up reacting with the crinkle of her nose. “I’m not getting any younger, and the thought of sharing my retirement with someone has its appeal.” Nanami hums. The question peppers on Tiana’s tongue, itching to get out.

“How old are you, Nanami?”

Humored, Nanami answers.

“28.”

Tiana blew air from her nose. “About a year younger than you but it feels like I’ve lived almost two lifetimes.”

“One in love, one in grief?” Nanami asked, and Tiana nodded.

“It’s a lot for a woman turning 27.”

“When?”

“Hm?”

“When is your birthday?”

“Why?” Tiana leans her head as she laughs gently. “Planning on doing something nice for me?”

“And if I was?”

“Hmph.” Tiana huffs, her eyes in a playful squint. “December 25th.”

“On Christmas?” Nanami asked, his brows arched in surprise. “That’s so soon.”

Tiana tried not to let her expression fall. “You’re going somewhere, aren’t you?” Nanami nodded.

“Visiting family. I was going to get back on the 25th, the day before the banquet, but I can-”

“Oh, stop fussing.” Tiana said, swatting at him playfully, but her heart seemed to crumble. She couldn’t go home, she wasn’t ready yet. But since Naveen passed, Lottie wouldn’t dare let her spend the day alone, especially since Tiana had no one of blood relations left in her corner. Having Lottie, Travis, and Mr. La Bouff kept the bleakness away, but it started feeling like babysitting to make sure the seasonal depression didn’t overwhelm her. The joyous holiday that was aimed to be filled with a family of three turned into a pain for one person alone to bear.

So she leaned her head on Nanami’s shoulder, sighing deeply as she closed her eyes.

“You’re here right now. That’s enough.”

“The day I get back.” Nanami said. “We’ll do something. I promise.”

Tiana didn’t believe in promises, but something told her it was okay to put her faith in this one.

Tiana would just shove this memory into her personal flask, whipping it out to sip from whenever she needed it.

Nanami’s skin was flushed so warmly that he felt cold, as if a fever had overtaken his being. Noticing how tense he was, and how that may be uncomfortable for Tiana, he sank into the couch, pushing his back into the seat as he closed his eyes as well.

Nanami couldn’t help but think everything over, his thoughts swarmed by the dark skinned woman next to him. Those brown eyes that shone like a bushel of constellations, her nose that crinkled when she smiled an actual smile; Nanami had come to the fact that she was pretty a while ago. But it seemed that everything she did was draped in grace, a softness that couldn’t be mimicked, and he slowly found himself finding even the most mundane things beautiful. These past few days, he couldn’t help but think about their small interactions, playing them over and over as he found new details etched in them. The way her words sung a melancholic song, the way her eyes would brighten when he took her to dine someplace new, and she would start spilling cooking techniques and facts that would amass the same dish. Even now, he was going over the little things. The weight of her head on his shoulder, her soft breaths that lacked the aggressive hiccups from before, the way her right hand covered her left so intricately to hide the wedding band as if it were a secret, the way his senses seemed to be consumed by her. Those little things had stacked up on his chest into something unbearably heavy, and the weight made him want to choke.

He knew where this was going. He didn’t want it to go this way, but the doom lying within his heart wasn’t the only thing he had been feeling as of late.

He didn’t want to fall for her, at least not without her permission. Nanami knew that she was still grieving hard, a part of her frozen in time alongside the man she once loved. He knew that she had grown dependent on him, more than a subordinate should. God, even the word “subordinate” made him want to gag, the power imbalance making what his heart seemed to crave so badly so childish and unrealistic. But he liked moments like these. Moments when the two of them seemed to be in their own bubble and those titles didn’t matter, and to them they never really did matter. Moments like these where he used her misery as an excuse to dote on her. He’s always wanted to be wanted, and God dammit, the method was unorthodox and shameful but he couldn’t help it. He wasn’t sure if he craved connection, or interaction.

Both of them were selfish in their own right. Both of them felt immense guilt for using the other to fill their own voids.

How could one ease their own iniquity right now?

“I lost the love of my life, and the life created from that love in one single night.” Tiana’s voice seemed to break as she opened her eyes to keep the visions at bay. “I wanted to love and be loved for a long time, even after death. But he’s gone, they’re gone. A part of me went with them.”

A warning, Nanami thought. He looked down at her only to be met with those beautiful brown eyes, ones that he seemed to be enraptured in. They were so close that Nanami could see himself reflected in them. Nanami wondered what he looked like to her, what those wide brown eyes saw when she looked at him. A friend? A boss? A close confidant?

A replacement?

“I think that can still happen.”

“Hm?”

“That you can still love and be loved.” Nanami’s voice was low, and his minty breath tickled her face. “It’s not a ridiculous request, every human being with a soul craves that.”

Nanami had a soft look about him when he said that, and Tiana listened in earnest as he continued to speak.

“You lost a part of yourself. Not all of it.”

Hope, Tiana thought to herself. Nanami looked so honest here, and his tongue was as keen as ever. Unable to hold her gaze anymore, she rested her head back on his shoulder.

“You’re hopeful.” She says.

“I’m just being logical.” He retorts just as fast, and she laughs softly.

“And cheeky.” Tiana says, raising her pointer finger, and poking his cheek. She let her hand fall heavily back into place as her eyes fluttered closed. She felt her body grow tired in one swoop, as if she had exhausted the last of her energy.

“Oh, you think so?” Nanami said, a sort of sarcastic feel still radiating off of him as Tiana tried to force her eyes open to no avail. She weakly hummed a response.

“Mhm.”

Nanami chuckles as he watches Tiana try to ward off the sleep.

“Tiana, just go to sleep.”

“No.” She refused.

“Why not?”

“I don’t wanna.” She mumbled, her eyebrows knitted tightly on her forehead. “You’re going to leave.”

Sighing softly, Nanami pressed his finger into her brows, and they immediately relaxed.

“I’ll be here when you wake up.” He says gently, sinking into the couch and closing his own eyes. “Scout’s honor.” He says with a weak smile.

I’ll hold you to that, Tiana wanted to say, but her mouth refused to move. All she could do was let sleep wash over her, the feeling akin to a warm bath instead of the usual fear for what lies beyond.

She winced, sunlight piercing into her closed eyes as she shakily sat herself up. Once out of the beaming sun, she allowed her dry eyes to open slowly. Somehow, she ended up sprawled on the couch, the blanket tucked around her. Smacking her lips, she looked around, immediately noticing the absence of a specific presence.

“Nanami?” She called groggily, her throat a bit raspy. But he wasn’t there. She was alone. She put her face in her palms, the ring cooling her warm skin as her head throbbed.

“Shoot.” Tiana mumbled into her hands. God, was she really expecting for him to still be there when she woke up? If it wasn’t for the faint smell of his cologne on her blanket, she would have thought she made the whole interaction from last night up in her head to find a way to cope with her nightmares. Despite waking up feeling like absolute garbage, she actually slept through the night for the first time in weeks. She rubbed her face aggressively, massaging her temples and forehead as she tried to knead the headache from her skull.

She looked over to the clock hanging on the wall, the face reading 9:37a.m. 

“Shoot!” Tiana yelled, scrambling up, tossing the blanket aside. She was supposed to be at work three hours ago. But as soon as she jumped to her feet, the room seemed to tilt.

“Oh-” She voices her surprise as she plops back onto the couch, feeling defeated. She couldn’t just sit here and ditch work, she would have to properly call in, but she will definitely be penalized for it. As she tried to figure out where the last place she had her phone was, her door made four consecutive beeps.

Beep, beep, beep, beep.

Someone was entering her password. 

A long beep sounds, followed by the unlocking and opening of her front door. She sits there gobsmacked as Nanami walks in with two bags, and in much more casual clothes compared to last night; jeans and a sweater.

Tiana’s heart gets lodged in her throat as she looks at him in bewilderment.

“Good morning.” He says, bumping the door closed with his hip as he makes his way to the kitchen. Tiana couldn’t even give him a proper greeting, the words lashing out before she had a chance to control them.

“You said you would be here.”

Nanami pauses, looking at Tiana from across the room, who felt as if she were going to pop any second. Why would she say that? Was she really that lonely that something as simple as this would piss her off?

“I’m sorry, Tiana.” Nanami was quick to apologize for going back on his word. “Your fridge was pretty empty, so I-”

“No, nope, nope. Stop.” Tiana halts him hastily, putting her hands up as if to physically stop his words from reaching her ears. “Don’t apologize. I’m sorry, I think I’m still sleepy.” She says as an excuse, mushing her own face.

Nanami gave a soft smile, watching the sun brighten her skin to the point where it looked like bronze, and her eyes seemed to flicker back a shimmering gold. He turns back to one of the bags, unpacking one of them.

“What’s that?” Tiana calls.

“Breakfast.” Nanami says, glancing over the different items. Milk, eggs, sliced ham, a tomato, a few whole fruits.

“You’re making it?”

“Well, you helped me on Thanksgiving. I’ve been wanting to return the favor.” He hums, then gestures towards her. “It’s nothing fancy like your food, but you aren’t in the condition to do so.”

“Ah, that’s right. I have to call in.” Tiana says, the stress returning.

“Don’t worry about that.” Nanami says cooly as he rummages around the kitchen. Thankfully he familiarized himself with the items last night.

“Don’t you have to go to work too?” Tiana asks.

“I called out sick.” He says, finding the spatula, and pointing it towards her. “And so did you.”

“I-I did?” Tiana was confused, the news was new to her.

“I’ve never taken a sick day, so I have plenty stacked up. Misha took care of you once I asked her to.”

The name made Tiana feel bitter, and she frowned slightly. She never wants to owe that woman anything. So to ward off her name like a bad omen, she changes the subject.

“How did you know my password?”

“I asked you before I left.” He says matter-of-factly, thinking back to the early hours in the morning. “You were kind of out of it, and you were sweating a bit in your sleep. I picked up some medicine too, so go shower and get comfortable.”

Tiana looked at him, dumbfounded at how he could be so casual about this. Maybe she had him all wrong, maybe he was simply looking out for her with no kind of romantic interest at all. But even so…

“Alright. Just don’t burn the place down.” Tiana says, lacking the energy to refuse. As she got up, trudging to her room with her back to the kitchen, she missed the flustered look on Nanami’s face. He felt his face redden in bated frustration as he tried to focus on the task at hand.

Tiana sits on the floor of the tub, the chilling water streaming down her body as she tries to cool it. Despite the knob being turned all the way to the right, her body still felt overbearingly warm, so hot that she was sure steam would rise from her skin. Her headache slowly dissipated as the water was soaked into her scalp. She sighed, wrapping her arms around herself and allowing her forehead to rest onto her knees. 

Despite trying his hardest, Nanami couldn’t focus in the slightest. His mind kept drifting to last night and right now. Over and over, his brain kept reminding him of the things he would never dare to say if he weren’t so tired, things he would never admit in the daylight as those words were more comfortable nestling in the dark. He gritted his teeth, wanting so badly to bash his face into the pan of eggs that were now a bit too dark to be considered edible. Swearing under his breath, he grabs the pan and tosses it into the steel sink, running the cold water immediately. The pan hisses like a threatened viper, steam rising and clouding the kitchen. The smell of burnt eggs replaced the vanilla scent, and Nanami began fanning the dense air. As he fanned aggressively, Tiana’s bedroom door swung open, her face tighter than a pair of spandex. She marches over to the balcony, throwing the doors open as a crisp winter breeze rushes into the room.

She turns to face Nanami, her arms folded over a plain shirt and cardigan, a fitted pair of jeans hugging her hips. Nanami grimaced, feeling as small as a child awaiting their parents' chastisement. Her gaze was fierce as her eyes darted around the smokey room.

“Ken, don’t worry about it. I’ll do it.” Immediately, Tiana was in the kitchen, hands tying her hair into a low ponytail as she gently pushed him out of her area. Nanami was baffled, and so embarrassed that he began stammering.

“W-wait- Tiana, no-”

“It’s alright.”

“I’m sorry…we can just go out?”

“I don’t know, Ken…” Tiana said, eyes closed as she rubbed her temples. 

“No please, it’s on me.” Nanami begged, his cheeks growing pink. He couldn't believe that be flubbed up so badly, especially when Tiana wasn’t feeling well and most likely hungry. Not only that, she’s a literal chef. She could shred him to pieces for messing up such a simple dish, not to mention staining her kitchen.

“Mmmm…” Tiana thought about it long and hard, but ended up giving up. She didn’t feel like cooking right now, which was saying a lot. “Alright, alright. But let’s make sure it’s close by. My head still hurts a little.”

“Ah…” Nanami scrambles to find a bowl, then using the knife that he was previously using on the cutting board, he scoots the fruits into the glass. He then grabs the medicine off the counter and hands both to her.

“Here.” He says quickly, and Tiana was amused at how he was breaking so easily. “Take this and snack on these while I clean up my mess.”

Tiana obliged, shooting him one more dirty look, although it was a playful one. She then sits on the couch, and follows her instructions. She takes the prescribed dose, and begins to snack on the delicately cut fruits as she watches Nanami fumble around the kitchen, grumbling under his breath. Despite the numbing cold whisking around the room because of the opened balcony door, his face refused to cool. Tiana giggles, her feet tapping on the wood floor as she watches.

“I’m sorry, again, really.” Nanami apologizes yet again, scrubbing the pan as he watches the residue swirl down the drain.

“It’s okay, Nanami.” Tiana shakes her head to reassure him.

“I can get you a new set, if you would like?”

Tiana’s mouth twists to the side as her nose scrunches, and Nanami’s lips fold inward.

“Oh, don’t give me that look.” Nanami exasperates, gently placing the pan back into the sink. “I know that look.”

“There’s no amount of money that could replace those, Nanami.” Tiana laughs softly, tilting her hand as she watches the usually stoic man fill with panic. That set was a gift from her mother when she opened the restaurant, but Nanami didn’t need to know that.

“Oh-” Nanami sounded taken aback, swallowing hard. Tiana picks up her empty bowl, walking to the kitchen. She pats him on his shoulder, dropping the empty bowl into the sink as she fills it with scalding hot water. The stains weren’t too bad, so she decided to let him off easy today.

“Hey, it’s fine. We’ll just let it soak.” Tiana says softly. Nanami just nods silently as he begins cleaning up everything else, wiping down the counters and the stove. Turning on her heels, she walks to her room to put on warmer clothes.

“I’ll be back.” She hums, shutting the door gently. Moments later, she comes out in a red winter trench and black knee high boots, paired with a scully, hat, scarf, and gloves. She closes the balcony door as Nanami begins putting his shoes on as well. Tiana looks over Nanami’s outfit once, and gives him a quizzical look.

“Nanami, where’s your coat?”

“The rest of my stuff is in the car. I’ll grab it once we head down.” He says. Tiana simply nods.

When they step outside, the air seems to bite and nip at Tiana’s flesh even with all of her winter gear on. New Orleans got cold at times, being near the gulf and all sometimes it would snow a bit, but this type of chill was different. It felt much crisper, much cleaner, and it was almost too cold to properly breathe. She tucked her face into her scarf as Nanami opened the passenger door for her, letting her slide in. Nanami didn’t even offer her the option of walking, maybe it was because she didn’t feel good, or maybe it was because she was shaking like a leaf. Either way, the little fear that seemed to accumulate in the pit of her stomach was pushed aside once Nanami started the car, the heat on full blast and the seats warming up.

“This isn’t your car.” Tiana said, recognizing the peanut butter color.

“I grabbed a company car this morning, that’s why it took so long.” Nanami said, pulling out of the parking lot. “Never know who might be watching.”

Tiana nodded, settling into her seat. If word got out about this, it would surely cause problems, no matter what she said. How would you even properly excuse something like this? No matter what angle you looked at it, it would always be interpreted wrong.

The drive wasn’t long, about five minutes from the complex, courtesy of both of their hunger and because Nanami didn’t want to keep her in the car longer than she needed to be. They stopped at a simple noodle bar, the restaurant quite packed because of it being lunchtime with people trying to escape the cold. The two were seated, and immediately dove into their own world, talking about this and that. Despite his curiosity, Nanami didn’t ask about the details about what Tiana said last night; he got the general picture. Tiana’s heart felt warmed by this, so warm that her voice seemed to have an extra shot of pep in it. So warm that the lights seemed a bit brighter. Warmer than the steaming food that was placed in front of them. Times like this felt good to her.

She hoped they felt good to him as well.

The two left the restaurant, buzzed with pure energy, and Tiana’s ailments seemed to have whisked away in the winter wind. The two decided to just walk around, Tiana humming a holiday song as their shoes scuffed the pavement. Nanami chuckled lightly, wisps of air escaping his mouth as a gust of wind blew by, causing both of them to clutch their hats to their scalps tightly.

“Whew!” Tiana laughed, adjusting her hat and scarf, shoving her hands deep within her pockets. Nanami chuckles, glancing down at her.

“Had enough yet?” Nanami asks.

Tiana pretends to ponder on the question.

“Mmmm…? No.” She says with a bright smile, her cheeks plump as her eyes squeeze close. Nanami was amused; he was so glad to see that bright smile back on her face. His eyes softened as he walked beside her, yet a step behind so that he may follow wherever she decided to lead him.

As the two walked, Nanami overheard some familiar voices, one so peppy that it drowned out the opposing, melancholic tone. He stops, but Tiana keeps strolling, not paying attention. Turning towards the voices on the opposite side of the road, he sees a head of white, followed by a head full of raven colored hair. Though those blue eyes were dressed in dark tints, he knew they were piercing through him as they turned towards each other at the same time.

“Oi, Nanami!” Gojo called, waving energetically.

“Tiana.” Nanami calls through chattering teeth. Luckily, she was standing slightly ahead of him, one of the street advertisement signs conveniently blocking her body from view.

“Hm?” She calls, stopping to turn around.

“What time is it?”

“Mmm…” She takes out her phone, glancing at it once over. “12.”

“Na-na-min-kun!” Gojo sings out, practically jumping up and down, waving his arms around sporadically.

“They don’t usually take lunch this early.” Nanami says, turning towards Tiana, walking to her nonchalantly.

“Nanamin!” Gojo calls again. “Didn’t you see me?” The man begins skipping across the street, leaving Getou by his lonesome.

Nanami gritted his teeth as he hooked arms with Tiana, pulling her along gently. All of Sendai could see that fool.

Tiana, taking note of the voice and Nanami’s sudden desperation to leave, turns to see Gojo hot on their heels.

“Is that-?” Tiana turns back around, keeping her feet in time with Nanami’s. “Is that Gojo-sama?”

Nanami squints his eyes, but doesn’t reduce his walking speed, weaving through the people. “When did you start using Japanese honorifics?”

Tiana gives him a dumbfounded look. “Are you really asking that right now? Why are we running to begin with?”

“So he doesn’t get the wrong idea.”

“I think it’s too late for that, Nanami-sama.”

Nanami’s cheeks seem to puff up as he refuses to look at the brown woman, who had such a cheeky air about her.

“Don’t patronize me.”

The two take a sharp right, turning the corner into a bricked alleyway. The two pressed their backs onto the cool building as the crowd of people whirled by, both breathing a bit heavy as white clouds puff from their mouths. Tiana tucked her lips into her scarf while Nanami peaked subtly around the corner. Nanami heard Gojo call him a few more times, before finally hearing Getou’s voice.

“Satoru.” Getou sounded out of breath.

“I swear I saw Nanami going this way.” Gojo said.

“So what?” Getou questioned.

“So? That little shit never takes sick days. He’s skipping out on work.”

Nanami, feeling offended by Gojo’s statement, gears up to go defend himself. The one day he takes a day for himself, to aid someone in their hour of need (though they were just going on a winter stroll) was his choice, especially when Gojo seemed to take whatever days off as he pleased. But before Nanami could even take half a step forward, Tiana grabs his arm. He looks down to see her shaking her head, a strong “no''. Nanami frowns, settling back into the wall as if he meant to melt into it.

“As if you don’t do the same.” Getou goes to Nanami’s defense, and for once, he feels grateful.

“It looked as though he were on some sort of escapade with Tiana.”

“I thought she was sick?”

“Guess we have two slackers on our hands.”

Now, it was Tiana’s turn to fume. Slacker? Oh, she was far from it. Little did they know that she had been doing work that was beyond her pay grade, leading to long days and sleepless nights. She worked like a dog from sun up to sun down, never looking for praise nor sympathy. When did those attributes make her a slacker?

Nanami, watching her boil over, put his hand on her shoulder, shaking his head in return. Tiana cuts her eyes, grumbling as she leans onto the wall, looking the opposite way.

“Stop that.” Getou says, his voice receding in the opposite direction. “You know that’s not true, and even if it was, so what?”

Tiana’s ears perk up as she catches Getou’s last few words before his and Gojo’s presence completely disappear.

“She’s been through enough already.”

The two stand there silently, side by side as their minds attempt to catch up with their bodies in the present. Nanami glances at Tiana, who is staring at her shoes, neck bent in an awkward downangle as her hair falls over her face. Nanami sighs, hooking arms with Tiana once again, leading her out of the dim alleyway.

“Come on.” Nanami says, his face tucked into the collar of his jacket. Tiana doesn’t say anything, abiding by his request and following him.

The two walk in silence, their sides pressed together as warmth accumulates between them. The space between them shrunk even more when the two of them ended up putting their hands in their own pockets, limbs seemingly entangled; if it weren’t for the opposing colors of their coats, Tiana wouldn’t know where her arms began, and where Nanami’s ended.

“Thank you, Nanami.” Tiana said gently.

“Hm?” Nanami was pulled from his thoughts, as he looked at Tiana. “Oh, of course.”

The wind blew a bit harsher as the two seemed to force themselves through the air as they walked. The sun seemed to dim as a few stray clouds rolled in.

“I don’t think you understand, Nanami.” Tiana retracted her arm, her side feeling barren and cold, but inside she felt full. The people around them kept passing by, but the two seemed to be standing in their own little gap of the world as they faced each other.

“You’ve been so much of a help to me since I got here.” Tiana said, pulling a loose strand of hair from her lips as it clumped on her gloss. “I…didn’t think this change would be good for me, but here I am, standing here and now because of you.”

Nanami’s heart seems to stall. Tiana looked so serene standing there, bundled in the whipping wind with tinted cheeks and a plump smile.

“You quite literally saved my life.” The words seemed to spill before Tiana properly thought about them. “All because you listened to me…thank you.”

A white flurry falls from the sky.

Then five, and then a dozen. Then a continuous descent of soft snowflakes from the grayish sky. A few people who walked by gasped, or voiced their joy as snow finally graced the land of the rising sun.

Tiana and Nanami both stare up towards the heavens, watching a soft blanket of white fall to the earth at a steady pace. Both stare in childlike awe and wonder, ignoring the numbing feeling that their skin produced on the outside in favor of the hearth warming them up on the inside.

“The first snow.” Nanami exhaled softly as he looked at Tiana. She was salted in white, her clothes staining slightly with droplets as the snow clung to her and melted.

Tiana playfully blows a puff of air, watching the snow whisk around her face. As if to combat her, the wind blows back sharply, snatching her scully off. She squints her eyes, hiding her face within her scarf to shield herself. Her hair rustles wildly around her face, no doubt akin to a nest on the top of her head now that her hat hair was revealed.

She uses her gloved hand to push it back into place as best she could, pulling her scarf over her nose as Nanami laughs. With a single movement, he swipes his own scully off, and uses both hands to snuggly place it over Tiana’s head as she huddles over in the cold. He gently tucks the swaying strands behind her ears before pulling the hat over them in a secure manner.

Tiana shivered, but it was only because she was cold.

Arms guarding herself, she looks up at Nanami, whose hair was tossed and unkempt in the wind, blonde strands entangled with delicate snowflakes. His face was flushed across his cheeks and nose, a vibrant streak of red as an infectious smile spread across his lips, crinkling the corners of his mouth and eyes. His blonde eyelashes were adorned with white snowflakes, and Tiana felt a wretched feeling tear through her. Her eyes seemed to burn, as if she were staring directly into the sun.

“Thank you, Tiana.”

The two found themselves back at Tiana’s place after carefully dodging other employees, shaking off the water and snow at her doorway as they entered the vanilla scented home. They remove their shoes, feet pattering on the wood as Nanami makes his way to the couch, and Tiana finds herself in the kitchen. She so desperately needed to do something with her hands, something to take her mind off of what she saw when Nanami looked at her, or rather what she felt when Nanami looked at her.

So she decided to make hot chocolate. A simple sweet beverage that could melt even the coldest of hearts with just one sip. She stood there, stirring the milk in with semi-sweet chocolates, watching the white shift hues into a hazelnut color. Anything to keep her mind from drifting to that expression, the number of snowflakes that had rested on his half lidded eyes, the feeling that seemed to make her stomach churn. She couldn’t bring herself to talk to him right now, so she just stirred in silence as he leaned against the armrest.

After pouring the drink into two mugs, dressing them in whipped cream, and bringing them to the living room that the two had become rather acquainted with over the past 24 hours. But Tiana didn’t sit next to him, she simply put the mug in front of him and found herself on the couch adjacent to his. Not wanting to sit in the weighted silence, she turns on her TV to distract herself with the vibrant, flickering images.

“Have you ever seen snow?” Nanami asked as he held onto the warm mug.

“Only a few times.” Tiana said behind the drink, not looking at him. She didn’t go into detail, so Nanami just nodded his head, turning to the TV as well. She was putting up that wall again, that sort of bubble that encased her vulnerability. He didn’t pry, just waited patiently for when she decided to share that part of her, if she decided to share that part of her at all.

And like a bee to a flower, she found herself giving up a piece of her heart without any rhyme or reason.

“It was a special occasion.” She said, still looking at the TV. “Ma would make some hot chocolate, like this, but her and my daddy would have it with ‘adult juice’.” Tiana laughed at the memory as she recounted every small detail of that little ol’ house in her mind. Nanami listened intently, her voice dipping into that southern charm, transforming back into that little girl from her memory as she shed that layer of maturity.

“She and pa would put on a record; they were so old fashioned.” Tiana sipped. “We would dance around the kitchen, snacking on baked goods that I made. And then-” Tiana stops.

“Then?” Nanami said, his interest peaking as he hung on her words. Tiana’s body grew warm as she paused, thinking about how her dad would offer to dance with her. The two would attempt to swing around the kitchen, her father crouched over to reach his daughter’s height. She would step on his toes constantly, but he wouldn't berate her or frown. He’d encourage her until their steps were in sync, both in giggling fits until her mother was queued in. Her mother and father would dance so elegantly around the house, swaying in such an intimate way that it made child Tiana uncomfortable and pretend to gag. She didn’t understand then. But once she got older, she realized that she wanted a love just like that; one that was delicate and warm, like the tickling hum of the needle as is traced over the grooves of each record that spun on its table.

She yearned for it after Naveen passed, but now the feeling had grown into something almost insatiable.

So Tiana shrugs, looking off into the distance.

“And then we danced.”

And an idea struck Nanami, like lightning on a copper rod. He hummed in response, the two having nothing left to say.

Time passed at a snail’s pace, and that was when Nanami decided to stop stalling and invading Tiana’s space. Caught up in his own sense of greed, it had slipped his mind on how she felt physically and mentally. He stood, taking his emptied mug into the kitchen. He rinses it out, and places it upside down in the sink. He shuffles to the front door, sliding on his shoes , and throwing his coat back on. Tiana, who had seemed to be in some sort of daze, snapped her neck to look at the man. Her chest tightened as she scurried up.

“You’re leaving.”  She stated the obvious as clear as day, and despite trying to sound neutral, she sounded so desperate.

“I have to work in the morning. Unfortunately.” He said, and Tiana felt reassured that he sounded as disheartened as she felt. “But I filled in a form for you to have tomorrow off, if you would like.”

“Mm.” Tiana hummed gently. She walked towards the door to where he was adjusting the hem of his pants. It seemed as if he were stalling. “Thank you.”

“Anytime.” He said softly, eyes reflecting the same shade and sentiment as Tiana’s.

Tiana found herself extending the conversation, even if it was just a single syllable longer she wanted him to stay. She didn’t have the gall to ask him to spend the night again, that was a line of intimacy she was afraid to cross again.

“When do you leave? For the holidays?” She asks.

Nanami adjusts his collar. “I’ll be leaving on the 19th.” Tiana seemed to stare into nothingness; that was right around the corner. Today is the 15th, and the sun had already begun to bleed across the sky as it died on the horizon.

“How are you going to get to the airport?” Tiana asked. She couldn’t drive him, and even though a miniscule part of her was willing to swallow that wad of fear to return the favor and take him there herself, she didn’t have a permit, let alone a license.

Nanami’s lip jutted slightly, as if he had never really thought of that. “Maybe a chauffeur from the job. Maybe a taxi.”

Tiana began twiddling with her fingers, pressing on her nails individually. Nanami watched, and took note of how her fingers barely grazed that band.

“I..um-” Tiana seemed to lose her nerve, so Nanami helped her.

“Do you want to come with me?”

“Yes.” Tiana responded a bit quickly, her words mingling with his. She clears her throat, feeling as though he made it too easy for her. She should be clear and concise with her request. “May I go with you?”

“You may.”

Silence befell the duo, so quiet you could hear their eyes blink. Tiana sighed heavily. The moment felt very…odd to say the least. They were parting ways, but the mood called for some sort of closing statement, as if the two needed to hug to bid a proper farewell. Tiana shook her head, tossing the thoughts from her ears as Nanami cleared his throat. He felt a dense heat creep up his neck.

“Well.” Tiana rushed, unlocking and opening the door.

“Well…” Nanami repeated, rocking onto the balls of his feet awkwardly. “Goodnight, Tiana.” He bowed slightly, feeling awkward as he exited.

“G’night. Be careful.” She called softly, not wanting to disturb the other residents. She watched him thump down the wooden stairs, turning back to watch her every other step, then entered the car. She watched him drive off, easing out of the parking lot, tire tracks left in the soft layer of snow that rested on the ground.

Tiana closes the door, pressing her back into the wood. She allows her head to fall back, thudding against the door, her eyebrows knitted in frustration. She lifted her left hand, looking at the lonely ring on her finger, swallowing thickly.

“Is this okay?”

Misha asked Tiana as the two sat in a secluded booth at the back of a barbecue joint, a “yakiniku”. She remembered the term from a place Nanami had taken her before, except that one was a lot nicer. This one was an abandoned, hole-in-the-wall place; paint peeling off the walls and ceiling. Misha obviously didn’t care enough to take the time to find something a bit more chic. Tiana had taken Nanami’s advice and decided to take the following day off. She was enjoying her peaceful day, when Misha called her unexpectedly. Tiana’s nerves were high strung when the woman asked to meet with her, claiming it was something important. Tiana, feeling as though she was indebted to her for covering her shift the past two days, obliged to her request. So here they were, during Misha’s lunch break, barbecuing different slices of meat on a thin grill built into the middle of the table. It warded off the cold, and Tiana’s appetite.

“Sure.” Tiana said, a bit quietly.

The woman sat in silence, a stale air about them. Both of them seemed to shift uncomfortably in their respective seats, glaring beams at the meat which seemed to cook even faster under their heated gazes. Misha huffed, prodding at the food.

“Let me get to the point.” Misha finally looked up, and Tiana followed, mouth still glued shut. “There’s no point in stalling, and neither of us really want to be here…”

Tiana kept quiet.

“Look, I-” Misha hesitated, her lips curled inward. “I want to say sorry.”

Tiana was taken aback. Did she just…?

“No, not sorry. I want to properly apologize.” Misha seemed to shrink a bit in her seat as Tiana gawked at her. “For everything.” Misha then began listing off her transgressions.

“For talking down on you. I want to apologize for making you run all those errands, and forcing you to do extra work.” Misha cringed as she heard her own crimes. “For the whole potluck fiasco. I sincerely apologize.” Then she did something Tiana didn’t expect. She downed deeply, forehead nearly touching her side of the table as she kowtowed to the brown woman across from her. “I know it’s not enough, but I really, really, truly am sorry.”

Tiana’s eyes were wide, and muddled with confusion. What caused the sudden change of mind? There’s no way this woman felt sorry for her actions, maybe sorry for being caught. But she had repetitively disrespected Tiana, threw her under the bus, and was downright awful to her. There had to be a reason she was rude to her, just like there had to be a reason she was apologizing to her now, and Tiana wanted to hear it. Even if the answer wasn’t sensible.

“Why?” Tiana’s voice croaked. “Why are you apologizing now?”

Misha cringed. Her motive was nothing but selfish, and it would expose this apology for the fraud that it was. At first it was just to save face, to look good and responsible in front of everyone. Then Nanami took notice and instructed her to do so, so she felt as if she had no choice. Not just because he was her boss, but because she wanted to make him happy. And lastly, only today did it cross her mind how much of an asshole she had been, how unreasonable she was to this woman because she couldn’t contain her own jealousy. While it was embarrassing and childish, she decided to go with the latter.

“I realized that I was being…a bitch.” She muttered the last part, and Tiana’s eyes widened in surprise. “I know it’s cliche, and a lame excuse, but it’s true. It took someone else for me to see that, and I feel like an idiot.”

Tiana frowned. “Someone else?” So this apology wasn’t of her own volition? 

Misha knew she said too much. She swallowed thickly.

“I was jealous.” She blurted out, cheeks inflamed. Tiana’s neck recoiled back, a nasty expression on her face. Misha had never seen a face so utterly disgruntled; her top lip snarled in the corner as her eyebrows furrowed disapprovingly. 

“Jealous?” Tiana seemed to spit. Misha felt as if she were drowning, thrashing words around to save herself.

“Of you and Nanami.” Misha said, and Tiana didn’t think it was possible for her neck to whip so fast. “I just…I saw him drop you off on your first day here, and I don’t know…my emotions just got the best of me. I mean, you’re married-”

Tiana’s mind seemed to throb, exhaustion overtaking her, the effort that she and Nanami put in to unwind made completely irrelevant. All of this, the aggressive comments, the extra work, the sabotage, all because Misha wanted to mimic a dog in heat? All because Misha didn’t have the maturity of a woman to simply speak with her, she just decided to lean on her own understanding? What kind of nasty rumors could this woman have said about her behind her back, in a language she couldn’t fully understand back then?

But there was one thing Tiana had to get straight first.

“Married?” She interrupted Misha’s spiel, a half laugh, half choke. “Marri- I’m not married.”

Misha paused, her eyes darting to the silver band. Tiana covered it, as if to shield it from prying eyes.

“But?” Misha tilted her head to the side, confused. “But the band? Are you divorced?”

Tiana was baffled at the gall of this woman. Was everyone here so goddamn nosey? Was everyone here so goddamn hasty to make assumptions about her without properly getting to know her?

“Are you-” Tiana stammered, so heated that she couldn’t even find the right words to say. “I’m not divorced. He…I’m a widow.”

Misha’s face turned several colors. First a ghostly white, face fallen and eyes wide. Then a sickly yellow, as if she were swallowing her own vomit. Then it finally settled on a reddish-purple, as if all the oxygen had been sucked from her brain.

“Oh.” She said quietly, voice squeaking like a rusty hinge. “Oh, oh, oh.”

Tiana couldn’t muster the courage to say anything.

“Oh, oh…” Misha kept voice like a broken record. Suddenly, her hands thrashed out, clasping her hands around Tiana’s as she began to plead for forgiveness, almost as if she were begging for her life to be spared.

“Oh, Tiana. I…I am so sorry. I had no idea.”

Tiana’s hands seemed to sting, her skin inflamed in the places where Misha touched. She retracted quickly, disgusted and offended by the sudden contact.

“Yeah, of course you didn’t.” Tiana seethed. “You didn’t bother to ask, or get to know me, or anything.” Tiana’s head throbbed in sync with her hammering heart. “But Nanami did. He was kind and understanding to me, something you couldn’t find in your heart to do because of your own lust. And you turned that kindness into something tainted.”

Misha's face seemed to swell with embarrassment as if she were a red balloon being inflated with helium.

“I’m-”

“No you’re not. You’re just embarrassed and offended that I won’t take this apology, which you don't even mean. And not only have you offended me and my husband's name, but also Nanami’s sense of worth. He’s a man of business, and the fact that you let such silly emotions fill your mind with nonsense-”

“Wait, please!” Misha’s hands pressed on the table. Her voice was full of panic, and she seemed to be trembling. “Please…don’t….”

Tiana couldn’t believe this. How could this woman, after feigning an apology for treating her like absolute shit, ask for such a request at the expense of her standing with Nanami? She wanted Tiana to keep this secret just so she could still look like the hard working saint in his eyes? Did she like him that much?

It wasn’t any of Tiana’s business. And it wasn’t really her business to sabotage a possible relationship because of her personal issues with this woman. If Misha was Nanami’s type, then all she could do was question why he would prefer to shack up with someone like her. If she made Nanami happy, who was she to interfere? He didn’t belong to her solely, he wasn’t bound to her by anything but a friendship with hazy boundaries.

It wasn’t any of Tiana’s business. She refused to make it her business. She didn’t really want to know.

Tiana threw a few hundred yen on the table, enough to pay for her half of the meal that she didn’t even get to indulge in. She stood up, adjusting her purse onto her shoulder. She couldn’t stand this madness any longer.

“Enjoy the rest of your day, Ms. Misha.”

Tiana thought about the interaction day in and day out. When at home, she was left to tend to her thoughts alone. At work, for some reason people were giving her sympathizing looks, and she knew Misha had let the cat out of the bag. It was better than the glares she would normally get, but Tiana didn’t want to be seen at all. She didn’t want to be coddled, or babied on the job because of her own misfortune. She just wanted to do her job like everyone else, and go home.

She didn’t even get to tell Nanami about it, or it was more like she refused to tell him about it. So when he nudged her arm as the two sat in the back of the taxi as they rode to the airport, interrupting her train of thought, she knew what question was coming.

“I know that look…” He was concerned. She had been frowning so deeply since he had entered the car. She had sat in the back so Nanami could have leg space in the passenger side, but Nanami couldn’t bear to leave her back there alone. So he squeezed into the back, watching her frown at the scenery that whizzed outside the window. Nanami was glad she wasn’t scared, but that frown resembled the same one she wore when she first got to Japan. It couldn’t have been anything good.

“It’s nothing.” Tiana said, turning back to him. Nanami gave her a knowing look, and she retracted her lie. “I mean, it’s not nothing, it’s something. But I don’t want you to worry about it before your trip.”

“So what, you’re supposed to worry by yourself while I’m gone?” Nanami raised a brow. “I told you, that-”

“I know, I know.” Tiana reassured him. “I don’t have to go through things alone. But this one is…slightly different.”

“Different?” Nanami asked. “How so?”

Tiana thought back to Misha’s confession. It wasn’t in her place to out her like that. Plus, a small part of her was terrified at how Nanami would react to the information. If those two ended up getting together, she didn’t want to be privy to it. It wasn’t any of her business.

“It’s a secret.” Tiana hums. Nanami simply blows air from his nose, frustrated. He thought that they were past secrets by now.

“Where are you going, anyway?” Tiana asked. She knew Nanami didn’t have any parents to visit, like her. He had told her that in an attempt to relate to her before, and it worked. “You never told me.”

“To America.”  Nanami said, not even thinking about his answer properly. Tiana’s eyes seemed to brighten with mischief.

“You have family in America?” Tiana asks with excitement, recalling the conversation they had on the night of her spiral. 

“Well, sort of…” Nanami tried to backtrack, but it was too late.

“Why ain’t you tell me!” Tiana swatted at his arm playfully. “The world is so small.”

“Too small.” Nanami muttered. “We’re not super close, or anything-” He lied, but Tiana was on a roll.

“Oh, we should plan a trip together one day!” Her eyes glistened at first, but then she shrunk as if she blurted something that she shouldn’t have. “I mean- you always talk about traveling. We can make it a thing; I can show you around the bayous or something.” Her voice was soft now, but so was Nanami’s heart. He looked out the window, unable to hide in the light of those innocent eyes. He felt the convoluted lie that he helped fabricate begin to unravel.

“When are you going to tell her?” Nanami’s voice was a bit grim as he looked at his cousin, not seeing her in person in years. The last time he recalled seeing her was when they were both in their early 20s, Lottie coming to visit him in Japan because he was much too busy climbing his ranks to properly visit her. Now that he was in her presence after almost a decade, he felt his eyes were playing tricks on him.

She still had that glowing tan from the southern sun, all the times she was outside playing in the bayous or swimming in lakes doing her justice. She seemed to have grown into her body, not just a bumbling 20 year old still awkwardly figuring themselves out; there was this air or sureness and maturity that he never really expected to see from Charlotte. Not because he didn’t think it was possible, but because to him he was still a little girl. But not only did she grow into her body, her body had grown.

She was pregnant. At the beginning of her second trimester.

Now, Nanami was privy to this information; she had told him over the phone while sobbing about her incident with Tiana. How Travis proposed to her, and how she was a bit bitter that her “sister from another mister” couldn’t even be happy for her, hell, couldn't even throw on a fake smile for her sake. So Nanami, unable to believe his ears, chose to seek the truth with his eyes, but he still couldn’t believe them. That’s why he rushed out to New Orleans so soon, leaving Tiana by her lonesome, so he could witness the unfathomable in person, and find some sort of solution to the mess the two were diving deeper into.

Charlotte was propped up in her bed, encased in fluffy, pink down pillows that mimicked the comfortability of cotton candy. She was draped in silk, pink pajamas that drowned her body, and hid her forming bump very well, but you could see it in her face. Travis was out running errands for his highness while Eli slept in Charlotte’s guest room, acting as her guard dog as he growled in his sleep.

“I don’t know.” Charlotte drummed her manicured fingers on her cheek. “It’s a bit much to just…spring onto her.”

“Yeah, no shit.” Nanami said defensively. Charlotte looked hurt.

“Oh, come on, Ken.” Charlotte exasperated. “Cut me some slack. Do you know how hard it is to hide this?” She motioned to her stomach. “It’s hard enough pretending that we don’t know each other.”

“Which is why I didn’t want to do it in the first place.” Nanami gritted. “Why is it that whenever you want to get your way, you always drag me into things?”

Charlotte went to clutch the white pearls adorning her neck, offended by the statement as her mouth gaped. “That is not true!”

Nanami cut his eyes, Charlotte noting how the expression looked a lot like Tiana’s infamous eye roll. He then began listing some examples.

“When you were seven and asked me to buy you pink paint, and proceeded to paint Stella’s fur. When you were ten and asked me to grab your father’s checkbook because he ‘asked you to grab it for him’, but you bought thousands of dollars worth of collectible Barbie’s, mind you, they weren’t even in mint condition. When you turned 16 and asked me for a foreign car, but didn’t tell me that you failed your driving test seven times, then you failed to tell me you totaled it until I got a call from your father in the hospital. When it was your prom and you wanted an extravagant dress, but didn’t tell me it was outside your father’s strict budget. When you were 20, and you defiled a famous piece at the Mori with lipstick because you felt the subjects ‘lips looked dry'. When you were 21-”

“Alright! Jesus Christ.” Charlotte said, feeling winded as she clutched her stomach. “I was younger, and a whole lotta stupid. I thought that was water under the bridge, but it feels as though you were waiting for the perfect moment to throw it all back in my face.”

“Charlotte, I’m not. But this-” He motioned to her body, her left hand that was caressing her stomach gleaming with a glittering ring, juxtaposed to Tiana’s lonely band. “This is different. Money can’t fix this. Connections can’t fix this. Your father can’t fix this, and neither can I.”

“So what, you wish I aborted it?” Charlotte snarled, and Nanami felt as if the conversation were hopeless as he threw his hands up in defeat.

“Abort- Charlotte, you know that’s not what I’m saying. Why didn’t you just talk to her?” Nanami’s heart seemed to ache with a pain he had never felt before. “Why not ask her how she would feel about this?”

Charlotte scoffed, face upturned as her eyes darted around the room. “How Tia feels? How Tia feels?” Her voice seemed to grow louder. “What about what I feel? What about what I want? I want to get married, I’ve always wanted to have a baby. I’ve had to tiptoe around with Travis so Tia wouldn’t feel so miserable, but it’s tiring. I want to move on, I want to grow up and start a family! Tia lost that, and now she’s stuck and I don’t know what more I can do for her!”

Nanami was silent as Charlotte kept talking, seemingly going on a rampage as if the past few years of shoving her own wants down built up so thickly in her chest that she had to spew it out like a projectile.

“Do you know how I found her on the day that I called you?” Charlotte’s eyes seemed to sting, and Nanami watched tears slide down her waterline. “I found her in her mama’s old home, trying to hang from the ceiling like a damn light fixture.”

Nanami felt his heart drop to his feet. His skin grew clammy and pale.

“I clung to her thighs and cried, Nanami.” Charlotte seemed to get choked up, her voice getting caught in her throat. “I wept like Jesus. I couldn’t bear it anymore.” Charlotte’s hand tossed through her hair. “So yes, I sent her to Japan. I couldn’t…I couldn’t do it anymore. That was the second time she tried something like that, and I knew it wouldn’t be the last. I couldn’t sleep at night, worried that I would walk into my sister's house and see her brains splattered on the wall, or her wrists shredded into ribbons, or her drowning in her own vomit. So I sent her away. At least then-”

Charlotte paused, shaking her head as tears streamed down her face, but there was a painful smile paired with it. It was as if the world had played a joke on her that was so cruel, she couldn’t help but laugh it off.

“At least then…I wouldn’t have to see that anymore. At least then, I could pretend she went on a long, long trip far, far away and move on with my life. I just…I didn't know what else to do.”

“You don’t mean that.” Nanami’s voice seemed to break. “You can’t mean that. In a time where she needed you most, you sent her to die alone?” he couldn’t believe the words that were coming out of his mouth.

“You’re making me sound like a selfish bitch.” Charlotte wiped at her face. “And you know what, maybe I am. I’m self-centered, spoiled, a fucking brat.” Charlotte grimaced. “But I know what I want. I know what I feel. I can admit these things. It’s true, even if it’s from the depths of my heart, buried underneath all my love and care for her. It’s the truth, Nanami.”

“If you’re her best friend or sister, you would have gotten her help.” Nanami gritted. “Not send her on a journey of exile.”

Charlotte threw her hands up. “Oh, for fucks sake, Nanami. You don’t think I tried that?” Charlotte's voice seemed to pierce through him. “Every fucking doctor and therapist in New Orleans had a patient named Tiana Maldonia. She doesn’t want the help. She doesn’t want to talk. Hell, she doesn't even know what she wants. She does that face- I know you know the one.” Charlotte mimicked Tiana’s expressions, and Nanami had to admit that they were spot on. “She sits there with a deep frown, forehead wrinkled and lips downturned, something obviously on that pretty little mind. Then you ask her about it, and she gives you this airy look with those big brown eyes, acting like she don' know what you're talking about, or like everything is right with the world.”

Nanami could picture it, he knew it was true.

“But even so.” Nanami came to Tiana’s defense. “Even so, that wasn’t right, Charlotte. You’re supposed to keep trying.”

“For how long?” Charlotte yelled. “Until I’m old and gray, and my ovaries are all shriveled up? You think because you two became friends over the past few months that you know her better than me?” Charlotte clutched her stomach, her face red, and that line struck a chord with him. One day, he plans on retiring, hopefully with someone at his side who he can spend the rest of his days with since his younger years were spent working to the bone. If he stayed by Tiana’s side, would he be fated to spend the rest of his life so close to her, yet so far apart? To ignore his own wants in favor of hers?

“But you know me, Nanami.” Charlotte seemed to whine. “You’re my cousin. Why can’t you just be…happy for me? For my accomplishments? Why can’t you take my side for once?”

Nanami frowned. He was always on her side. He was always at her beck and call. But this wasn’t about the "right side" anymore.

“Whas’ goin’ on in here?” Eli La Bouff entered Charlotte’s bedroom, stirred from his sleep. It was probably from the insolent tones being hurled across the room, or maybe he could sense when Charlotte was in distress, and those senses were heightened because she was carrying his grandchild. His eyes widened, disturbed by the scene presented to him. His cheeks swelled, and his shock was replaced with a growing anger.

“I was just leaving.” Nanami said, making his way to the door. Eli seemed to bumble, stammering as he watched his nephew practically stomp out.

“L-Leavin’?” Eli’s drawl voiced his disappointment.

“Y-You can’t just leave, Ken!” Charlotte called to his back, but Nanami didn’t even turn around to look. “It’s the holidays! You can’t just abandon-!”

But the words got caught in her throat. Can’t just what? Abandon family? Who was Charlotte to criticize Nanami, when she had already done that herself?

Nanami stalked out the front door, and Charlotte winced when she heard it slam shut. Charlotte brought her knees to her chest, hunched over as she hugged her legs. Her tears stained her silk pajamas as she hiccuped silently. She felt the bed dip, her father sitting at her side.

“Daddy…” Charlotte sobbed, feeling nauseous as she squeezed her eyes shut, but that didn’t stop the tears from trickling down her cheeks. “Daddy, I don’t know what to do.”

Eli sat there, lips in a thin line. His baby wasn’t a baby anymore, she had grown from a seedling into a budding, golden magnolia. And he was a large oak. He feared that the longer he shrouded her in his shadow, the longer his roots dug into her, the longer he kept spoiling her, she would never flourish to her full potential. He had to let her grow up.

“My little flower…” He said in earnest, but with a tinge of sadness. It was hard watching your children grow up before your eyes, no longer depending on you. It was hard watching your baby begin to grow into her body, and begin to grow another body within her. It was hard watching your little girl go to another man for help when her father was right there, and would always be there. He had gone through it with Tiana, and he had lost it all with Tiana. But he had to let her flourish.

“My precious child.” Eli raised a thick hand to cup his daughter's face, and she leaned into it. The pain resonating off of her was unbearable, but he couldn't look away. “I think you know what to do.”

Her tears fell faster against his hand, sliding down his arms.

“You just don’t want to do it.”

Nanami had made his way to the airport, bag packed messily and threatening to burst free of the zipper. He needed to see Tiana. He wanted to see Tiana.

Now.

“I need the earliest flight to Japan. I would like to trade it for my flight tomorrow, on the 24th.” Nanami said at the desk, trying to keep his bearings. The clerk nodded her head, a bit unsure, typing furiously at her computer. She clicked the enter button, then shook her head solemnly.

“I’m sorry sir, all the flights today are booked. And because it’s the holidays, not a lot of people will be willing to give up their seats.” The woman sounded a bit nervous, as if Nanami would reach for the counter and jack her up by her ponytail if she didn’t comply with his request. 

Nanami drummed his fingers on the desk, nodding grimly, his lips folded in.

“Alright. Okay.” He sounded so defeated. “But please, let me know if something opens up.” The woman sensed the desperation, and simply nodded.

So Nanami waited in the airport terminal for his original flight. He thought about staying at one of the hotels not too far from here, but was scared he'd miss an opportunity to board an earlier flight.

The opportunity never came. Instead, it got worse.

“I’m sorry, sir. But flight 555 seems to have a 4 hour delay, and is pending. The latest being a departure on Christmas morning.” The clerk told him the next day. “There seems to be a snow storm heading in. It has never been this bad either, so the whole county’s in a bit of a tizzy.”

Nanami felt his whole world crush in a matter of seconds. He couldn’t go earlier, and now he would arrive much later than he intended. He swallowed thickly, remembering the promise he made to Tiana that night, words that feel as though he said it in the spur of the moment now.

If he leaves Christmas morning, he will get back to Japan early the next day, less than half a day before the banquet. He prayed silently that he could get back even just an hour earlier, so he could at least spend a singular second with Tiana, so she could at least spend one moment in the company of someone.

He sat in his chair, looking at his phone. Japan was about 15 hours ahead, the time reading 8:53am. If he called Tiana now, he would be just shy of 12:00am; Christmas morning. A part of him told her she was most likely wide awake for a multitude of reasons. He clicked on her name, putting the phone to his ear.

The phone rang once. Twice. Five times. Seven. Then it went to voicemail.

She must be asleep, Nanami thought. Just as he was about to shove his phone into his pocket, it rang abruptly, buzzing in his hand erratically. He looked at the phone, Tiana’s name adorned with a frog emoji flashing across his screen. He answers it.

“Tiana.” Nanami seemed to say breathlessly.

“Nanami?” Tiana’s voice was groggy as it cracked. He heard the creak of bed springs and the shuffling of sheets, the woman sitting up on the other line.

“You’re awake?” Nanami asked in a silly tone. Of course she was awake now, he had woke her up.

“Mm.” Tiana hummed in his ear, her voice seemed to sing a soft song of slumber. “Did you forget about the timezone?” Tiana giggled sleepily, and Nanami found heat creeping up his neck. She sounded so charming, dare he even say, adorable. Her voice had an almost sultry tone, brushing against his ear as if it were being caressed by velvet whispers.

“No,” Nanami sounded nervous, his hands clammy as he rubbed them on the knees of his jeans. “My flight was delayed.”

The line went silent. Finally, Tiana mustered up a silent “oh”. Nanami felt as if he needed to explain himself.

“I tried to get an earlier flight, but it was impossible.”

“Nanam-”

“And because of the weather, the delay could possibly be longer.”

“Nana-”

“I just really wanted to-”

“Kento.” Tiana said sternly, her words jutting into his sentence.

“-let you know…” Nanami’s voice trailed off as Tiana let out an amused laugh. He could almost see an apparition of her in front of him. He could imagine the crinkle of her nose, the flash of her teeth, the squint of her eyes. He settled into his seat, rubbing his face.

“I’m sorry.” He mumbled into the line.

“Sorry?” Tiana laughed again. “Nanami, you have nothing to be sorry for.” More shuffling in the background, Tiana’s voice is much more awake now. “You went through all that trouble for me?”

Nanami couldn’t answer. He was so flustered, dropping his face to hide his expression from the entire airport.

“Things happen, Nanami.” Tiana continued in an understanding tone. “It’s not your fault. This is expected; I thought you were the logical one.”

Nanami’s lips broke out into a grin. “I just wanted to make sure I was there.”

“Don’t sweat the little things.” Tiana said with a reassuring tone. “I’ll see you when you get back, okay?”

Nanami hesitated. It was a surreal moment, Tiana audibly admitting that she would be waiting for his return, and Nanami unable to contain the excitement that crept into his being.

“Okay.” He said gently, trying to keep his voice from swaying. He crossed and uncrossed his legs. “Have you been sleeping alright?”

On the other side of the line, Tiana hugged herself, laying down. Her head laid in her pillows as her phone rested on the nightstand, the device on speaker as his voice echoed in the dark room. It created the illusion that he was in her presence, and she’d be lying if she said the comfortability didn’t make her drowsy.

“I mean, there’s no night terrors, so...” Tiana said, staring up at the dark ceiling. Ever since she talked to Nanami, she hadn’t had a single nightmare, but she still couldn’t sleep properly. It wasn’t as though she were lying awake every night, she would eventually fall asleep, but it felt as if she closed her eyes for a second and it was the next day. She wasn’t resting properly, probably from stress. But right now, she felt fine, almost like a slight buzz were ricocheting through her body, rocking her to sleep. She closes her eyes and sighs, sinking into her mattress.

“Do you…want me to stay on the line?” Nanami asked hesitantly, and Tiana turned her body to curl towards the phone, her eyes still closed.

“Is that alright?” Tiana asks. “I was just going to try and go back to sleep…”

Nanami let out a soft laugh. “That’s why I’m asking you.”

Tiana nods, feeling as though he were right there.

“Yes, please.”

The line went silent, and Nanami took the opportunity to check his phone. 9:00am on the dot. He brings the phone back to his ear.

“Tiana, before you go to sleep.” Nanami’s voice sounded like a summer’s breeze, unfurling and warping through Tiana’s space. “There’s one more thing.”

“What?” Tiana responded sleepily. She heard him smile on the line.

“Happy birthday.”

ᴘʀᴇᴠɪᴏᴜꜱ ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ | ɴᴇxᴛ ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ | ʀᴇᴀᴅ ᴀʜᴇᴀᴅ | ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ ʟɪꜱᴛ

[lindsaywesker]

Good morning!  I hope you slept well and feel rested?  Currently sitting at my desk, in my study, attired only in my blue towelling robe, enjoying my first cuppa of the day. 

Welcome to Too Much Information Tuesday.

Denmark has more pigs than people.

Almost a million children in the UK do not own a book.

Only 28% of people know when they're being flirted with.

There are nearly twice as many calories in human blood as there are in beer.

At top speed, the Bugatti Veyron will empty its 26 gallon tank in 12 minutes.

Of all the words in the English language, the word ‘set’ has the most definitions.

It is easier to chat at parties if you don’t know the song playing in the background.

A rhino’s erect penis is 76 cm (29.92 inches) long and shaped like a lightning bolt.

“The weak can never forgive.  Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.”  (Mahatma Gandhi)

Leaving the water running while brushing your teeth can waste four gallons of water in a minute.

In March 2014, an Australian Python swallowed a chihuahua and found itself chained to a kennel.

Not only do mosquitoes bite you and suck your blood, but they also urinate on you before flying off.

Airplane food isn't very tasty because our sense of smell and taste decrease by 20% to 50% while flying.

‘The Lion King’ will forever hold the record for best-selling VHS of all time, with over 50 million copies sold.

At a restaurant?  Wash your hands after ordering.  The menu is generally the dirtiest thing you can touch!

In 2020, high school sweethearts Tilly Christmas and Kieran White married to become the White-Christmases.

Beards have been banned in the British Army since the beginning of the 18th-century.  Wot, no hipster soldiers?

Did you know your body is actually designed to get four hours of sleep twice per day instead of eight hours once?

If you date and then break up with your boss, you are 4.2% more likely to drop out of the labour force altogether.

In 1990, the BBC refused to broadcast a ‘Star Trek’ episode because it referenced a fictional 2024 reunification of Ireland.

If you weighed 100 kilos on Earth, you would only weigh 38 kilos on Mars. You're not fat - you're just on the wrong planet.

Male macaques are willing to forgo juice in order to look at photos of either female bums or the faces of high-ranking males.

American military bases overseas have slot machines that bring the U.S. Department of Defence about $100 million a year.

If you wear a t-shirt for 100 days a year, it will shed 0.1% of its total weight in the form of lint picked up by your belly button.

After a prosthetic penis was made for him for the film ‘Vacation’, Chris Hemsworth decided to display it on his mantelpiece.

China has 350 million smokers, meaning the Chinese smoking population is higher than the entire population of the United States.

People who feel an urge to correct other people’s grammar are actually suffering from a form of OCD: Grammar Pedantry Syndrome.

A UK survey found that couples who sleep naked together are more likely to be happy with their relationship than couples who sleep clothed.

According to the Bible, David was allowed to marry the King's daughter if he returned with 100 foreskins of slain enemies.  He came back with 200.

The first female self-made millionaire in the United States was Madam C. J. Walker.  She made her fortune selling hair care products for other black women.

It was reported that in February 2023, a Dutch policeman pursued a suspected spy balloon for several miles before realising it was actually a bird poo on his windscreen.

In 2017, a Rohingya Muslim man carried his immobile parents close to 100 miles in two wicker baskets to escape death squads in Myanmar.  It took him 7 days, but he eventually reached Bangladesh unscathed.

Richard Phillips survived the longest wrongful prison sentence in American history.  He was locked up in 1972 at the age of 26 and wasn't released until 2018, aged 72.  He spent 45 years in jail for a crime he didn't commit.

The idea for YouTube was inspired, in part, after Justin Timberlake exposed Janet Jackson's nipple at the 2004 Super Bowl.  The creators realised how hard it was to find the video online, so created a site where you can now find pretty much everything!

On February 20, 1970, Keith Sapsford, a 14-year-old Australian teenager, entered Sydney Airport and concealed himself in the wheel well of a plane bound for Japan.  Known for his curiosity, Keith saw this as an adventurous escapade.  Tragically, not long after take-off, he fell 200 feet to his doom.

Okay, that’s enough information for one day.  Have a tremendous and tumultuous Tuesday!  I love you all.

[luci-in-trenchcoats]

Thunder In Our Hearts: He Knows

Summary: The reader and Ben’s quiet evening at home is anything but when she comes home to discover 15 year old Benjy knows his father is Soldier Boy...

Masterlist

Pairing: Soldier Boy x reader

Word Count: 5,300ish

Warnings: language, nudity, violence, drug/assault/abuse/torture mentions

A/N: There will be spoilers for Season 3 of The Boys in this one. This part takes place ~11 years after the end of the series.

__________

You’d just finish dropping off Millie and Alex off to their respective sleepovers when you got home with a pizza and bottle of very expensive whiskey. It’d definitely been a splurge but Benjy was supposed to stay over a friend’s tonight which meant you and Ben had the house to yourselves for the entire night. For the first time in what felt like a year.

So naturally you were expecting to stay up half the night having sex six ways from Sunday.

“Oh Benjamin,” you called when you walked inside, kicking the door shut. “I brought home some of your favorite things. That whiskey you like, an extra large pizza from downtown and some very interesting looking lub-”

Your mouth snapped shut when Benjy appeared from the hallway where the kids rooms were.

“Gross,” he said, taking the pizza box from you and carrying it to the counter. You hid the frown that wanted to form on your face. As much you loved your kids and wanted to cherish this time as teenagers, sometimes you just wanted your damn house to yourself with your husband. You looked out the front window, noticing the door to the garage was down.

“What happened to your sleepover?” you asked him. You turned around, Benjy scoffing down a slice of pizza. He swallowed roughly, giving you a strange look. “I thought dad was giving you a ride?”

“I don’t have a father.” He ripped a chunk of crust off with his teeth, his face in a scowl as you raised your eyebrows. The air was thick as he swallowed. “Did you know?”

“Did I know what?” you asked. He shook his head with a laugh, running his hand through his hair like Ben did when he was anxious. 

“Of course you did. You have that fucking Soldier Boy shirt you wear to bed all the time.”

“You are sixteen years old. Watch your language,” you said, forcing back the bile in your throat. Benjy’s face was pure hatred. Something had happened while you were gone. “What-”

“Did he make you stay?” he asked. You blinked, pausing a moment. “Did he trap you with kids and make you stay?”

“Fucking hell, Benjy,” you said, closing your eyes. “No, dad didn’t do a damn thing to me. I love him of my own free will.” He opened his mouth but you raised a finger, pointing at him. “No. You answer my questions now. What the hell happened when I was gone?”

Benjy picked at the pizza again, giving you a dark glare. “I’m doing a paper for history on the fall of Vought Tower. I thought, hey, mom’s favorite supe was Soldier Boy. I’ll write my paper on him and his role in it. Well, I know Uncle Brian did a paper on him in college so I asked for some of his old research. That’s when things started to not make sense. I saw the sources he referenced and didn’t give me so I dug online until I found them. Lo and behold, I find out not only does that asshole that made me look and sound a whole lot like Soldier Boy, but that he’s actually fucking Soldier Boy. So I told him exactly what I thought of him and then he just left. That man is a goddamn monster and apparently you knew the whole damn time. If I were eighteen I’d take Millie and Alex and walk right out the door with them.”

You only stared at him, a million thoughts and emotions rushing through your head. But at the end of the day, he was your son. And he was Ben’s son.

Which meant he was using his anger to hide behind his fear.

“Alright,” you said, voice steady as you crossed your arms and leaned back against the counter. He tried to hide it but he was thrown off that you weren’t yelling at him. “You’re upset and angry. With your dad and with me. You don’t even want to be around us anymore, is that right?”

“Exactly.”

“You think you’re old enough to make that decision for yourself?” you asked calmly. 

“I am more than capable,” he said. You nodded, sitting up on the counter top, gripping the edge loosely. “I might be able to forgive you someday but not him. I-”

“Oh Benjy,” you said, smiling softly at him. “I’m not looking for your forgiveness because frankly, I don’t regret loving your father for one second. There is so much about him and me that you don’t know. He is a good man.”

“He killed people! He didn’t even care!” You threw your head back and shut your eyes. “Mom he-”

“My father used to rape me. He would hit me, cut up my back, dig his knife into my skin and then he’d rape me all over again. My whole life, that man abused me.” Benjy was white in the face, his eyes wide in horror.

“I thought you said grandpa died when you were little,” he whispered.

“Why would I ever tell you about the true monster of this family? My mom left not along after I was born and then I was his toy. I only made it to eighteen out of pure spite,” you said. You lowered your head, staring at your lap. “I was raped in the military and with no support system, I became a toy for a very powerful group of people. I joined the CIA, got stronger, learned to protect myself and I found a boyfriend I really liked. But it turned out he was just there to babysit me, make sure I never told anyone about those powerful people. They locked me up and beat me and assaulted me and, Benjamin, my whole life has been a nightmare from one moment to the next. But I got out and escaped when I found your father, when I found Soldier Boy in captivity too. I knew he was strong and I knew I wasn’t making it out of the building without help. I figured if they had him locked up like I’d been, maybe he wasn’t all bad. Maybe someone hurt him too. So I let him out.”

Benjy was crying, staring at me as tears ran down his face. “Mom…mom I don’t…”

“Soldier Boy was an asshole when I met him. A complete asshole. An asshole that I made a deal with. I’d help him learn how to survive in modern day and help him kill the people he wanted dead if he killed the people I wanted dead first. He held up his end of the deal but by the time we got to his part of it, he was changing. He was learning. He cared more about me than revenge.”

“Who did dad kill for you?” he asked, voice cracking as he raised his chin. 

“He killed all of those people that hurt me. He saved a young military officer along the way. He saved my life and protected me from that man that pretended to be my boyfriend. He told that man before he killed him that men with power protect others, that that’s a real man. I’d taught him that and he listened. Benjy your father was toxic once upon a time but that was long before you were born, before I was born. The scars your father carries…no one loved him Benjy. Not a soul, even when he was a little boy. All he wanted was his father’s approval and that man was as toxic as they come. Your dad became Soldier Boy to impress him and even then, it didn’t work. There was a time when your father did good things. He fought in some battles, did some good. A lot was but it wasn’t all fake. But he faltered in life. He owns that. He knows it. But he changed. He-”

“What happened in eighty four? When everyone thought he died?” he sniffled, wiping off his face. 

“His team betrayed him and turned him over to the Russians to experiment on. He was tortured for nearly forty years. I saw the proof of that. Ben needed to change but he didn’t deserve that.”

Benjy swallowed, a fresh track of tears rushing down his cheeks. “You’re telling me…fuck, mom.” He shook and you stepped over to him, letting him cling to you. “Mom I’m sorry. I thought he was pretending this whole time.”

“Benjy your grandfather’s were both horrible. Dad’s dad…he didn’t beat him but he abused him in a different way. It set him on a path he didn’t know how to get off of. When he got out of Russia, he thought he found people he could trust but they betrayed him too. His son-”

“Son?”

You nodded. “They made a child from your father in the eighties. Homelander.”

“That psycho i-is my half-brother?” he said, pulling back, eyes wide. “H-How-”

“Daddy never knew, not until after Russia. When he was betrayed, they locked him away again and that’s when I found him. Benjy, I can promise that you are the only son your father says he has. He raised you. He cleaned your cuts and scrapes and taught you to read and to be respectful and kind. Can you honestly, honestly, tell me that you regret having him as your father?”

Benjy’s bottom lip wobbled as he shook his head. “I-I told him to l-leave and n-never come b-back. Mom, what’d I’d do?”

“You’re as sensitive as your father, Benjamin,” you said, kissing his temple. “You both use anger to hide your fear.”

“I’ve never even seen dad mad.”

“Because once you were born, your dad wanted to set an example for how you and your sisters treat the people you care about. Especially you. He wanted you to be so much better than him. Honey, I understand that you’re upset with him. I do. And ultimately it’s up to you if you want your relationship with him to change. But I swear on my life that your dad has not been the bad guy in a very, very long time.”

Benjy squeezed his eyes shut, inhaling sharply. You rubbed up and down his back, feeling him relax. “I called him a monster.”

“Whatever you said, your dad’s thought worse of himself I guarantee,” you said. “I have an idea of where dad took off to. Do you want to come with me or stay here?”

He raised his head, wiping off his face with his sleeve. “I need to talk to him. I don’t know what I’m going to say but I need to tell him…I don’t know. I just want to go.”

“Okay. Throw that pizza in the fridge and let’s get going then.”

An hour later you were pulling up to Brian and Joe’s camp, a quiet place on a secluded lake you’d brought the kids to a million times during summers. Ben’s truck was parked at the end of the gravel road and you came to a stop behind it. The small cabin was dark but Benjy pointed around the back of the house and you followed, catching the flicker of flames he’d seen. 

Ben was sat on the ground in front of the built in firepit, his back to you both. His knees were tucked into his chest, arms wrapped tightly around himself as he sat on the cold ground. Flashbacks of Ben breaking down all those years came surging back, a pit opening in your gut. 

“Dad?” Ben tensed before standing slowly. By the time you approached, he was turning around, hiding his face in the shadows. Benjy’s was in clear view though and the second Ben caught sight of it, he was looking down at his feet. “I…”

“You shouldn’t have made him come here,” said Ben, voice flat, forcibly cold. You stepped closer until he was moving away, pushing him back towards the light. 

If he’d only face you and Benjy.

“She didn’t.” Benjy stopped a few feet away from his father, breathing deeply. “I-I…” He closed his eyes and nodded to himself. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize. Everything you said was true.” You walked around the other side of the firepit, knowing he wouldn’t turn to face Benjy. His eyes were puffy and red, dried tear streaks down his cheeks. He was exhausted, no fight left in him.

If Benjy asked him to jump in that fire you had no doubt in your mind he’d do it.

After all this time, he still thought so little of himself.

“Look at me,” said Benjy.

“No,” Ben breathed out. 

“You think you’re the only one that’s been crying?” 

“Benjy I’m not afraid to let you see me cry,” said Ben, closing his eyes. “You said you never wanted to see my face again so-”

“I changed my mind.”

“You changed it because your mom-”

“You didn’t tell me you were fucking abused as a kid. You didn’t tell me the Russia shit. You didn’t tell me anything! You let me think you’re awful because you want me to hate you because you think you deserve it.”

“Bad things happening to me don’t excuse my past behavior. I still did everything you accused me of doing. You should not change your feelings because you feel sorry for someone,” said Ben. 

“So you’ll listen to mom when she says she doesn’t hate you but not me?” Ben slowly opened his eyes, finding yours as you cupped his cheek.

“Mom didn’t like me much at first,” he whispered. “Rightly so.”

“And you beat yourself up too much,” you said, putting your hand over his mouth when he went to interrupt. “Yes you did bad things. But you’ve paid for it and now you do so much good with your life. You raised a son not afraid to cry. Not afraid of his father. One that wants his dad back. You did so much better than your dad, Ben. Your proof of being good is standing right there. He’s going to be shocked and angry and I’m sure it’s going to take him time to work through it. But you’re not losing him.”

Ben swallowed, taking hold of your hand before he spun around. He wrinkled his nose, Benjy sniffling. 

“So you’re Soldier Boy?” he asked. Ben nodded. “So do supes not like, age?”

“I’ve looked like I’m in my forties for awhile,” said Ben. “Like, a really long while.”

“But you look like you’re in you’re fifties…” he said. Ben shrugged, squeezing your hand.

“Dad got rid of his powers when you were four,” you said. Ben glanced at you as you nodded. “I told him most things but not…”

“I don’t want to scare him,” said Ben. Benjy was doing a good job of looking particularly vulnerable though and Ben sighed. “You were kidnapped as a child. You and Millie. It’s why I destroyed Vought Tower.”

“Y-You did that? But you saved all those people-”

“I saved only the good ones. The rest…you can call me a monster for it but what they wanted to do to you and your sister…keep you from us and turn you into the next little versions of Homelander…once you were safe, I had to make sure no one ever hurt you again.” Benjy blinked his eyes rapidly, trying to absorb the information. “I’m sorry.”

“For protecting me? For fucks sake dad, I’m not mad at you for that. Vought was a dirty company and the whole world knows it.” Benjy ran his hands through his hair, letting them rest on top of his head. Then his eyes shifted, his bottom lip wobbling. “I remember that day.”

“So much for wiping memories,” you mumbled as Benjy stepped right into his father’s arms and hung on for dear life. 

“I remember,” he cried, Ben shushing him as Benjy buried his face in the crook of Ben’s neck. “Soldier Boy saved us. They told us we’d never see our parents again but you got us away from them.”

“It was my fault you were put in that position in the first place.”

“No it wasn’t,” you said. Benjy nodded, Ben sighing again. “See? We outnumber you so we win.”

“Okay,” he said, a barely there smile on his face. “You two can win this time.”

“You’re really cold dad,” said Benjy, moving his arms up and down his back. “You haven’t been outside all night have you?”

“Knowing your father, he has. Why don’t you two boys drive home together and when we get home, we can have that pizza and talk the rest of this out, okay?” 

“Okay,” said Benjy, Ben nodding quietly. You let them go on ahead of you while you dealt with the fire. When you got in your car, Ben waiting for you on the road to follow, you let out a shaky breath.

“Please let them both be okay. Please, please.”

“Guys…” you said when you got home a few minutes after the boys. The house was quiet. Way too quiet. You ducked outside, spotting the lights on in Ben’s garage. You raised an eyebrow as you opened the heavy door to inside, eyes going wide.

Ben was wearing his Soldier Boy uniform, still fitting as well as ever. Meanwhile Benjy was tossing around his replacement shield, this one made from a polycarbonate instead of the heavy metal his original had been.

“Yeah, hold it like that and you can use it as a weapon,” said Ben as Benjy moved his arm downwards. “Exactly! Just like that.”

“Well, looks like you two are besties again,” you said, crossing your arms as they both stumbled, turning their heads towards you.

“He wanted to see the suit,” said Ben, Benjy tossing the shield back at him. 

“For my research paper,” said Benjy, Ben giving him a thumbs up. You shook your head and pulled them both into a hug, grateful Benjy was still small enough to get wrapped up in your arms.

A year from now you had the feeling he’d be just as large as his father.

“I’m just happy you both seem better,” you said.

“We talked on the way home a lot. I was quick to judge dad. He…he had a harder time of doing the right thing on his own. And the stuff he did…he’s not that person anymore. Right dad?”

“I do my best,” he said softly, offering you a smile. “The credit goes to mom though. After Russia I was…I’ve never been so alone and afraid and I didn’t know how to even let myself admit that. But mom wouldn’t let me be an asshole and I knew if I wanted her, I had to get rid of the crap. So when she tells you to clean your room or not stay up until three in the morning playing video games, listen to her. She’s wise beyond her years.”

“You’re a flirt, old man,” you teased.

“Kiddo,” he grinned, Benjy’s jaw dropping.

“Oh my god! That’s why you guys call each other that! We never understood cause you told us dad’s only like, five years older but…wait how old are you?” asked Benjy. “Cause Soldier Boy fought in world war two…”

“Well…I was born in 1921,” said Ben. Benjy stared at him, eyes as wide as saucers. “So yeah, over a hundred at this point.”

“Dad! You’re, you’re like a grandpa!” Ben gave him a bitchface, your heart warming at the sight of them teasing each other again.

“I technically am a grandpa.”

“Homelander has a kid! What the fuck!” he said, looking back and forth between you both. “What-”

“Don’t worry about him. And while I may be old, I can still beat your ass to get the last of the ice cream,” he said. He took off running towards the house, Benjy hot on his heels. You shook your head, smiling at your lovable idiots.

By the time you were inside the house again, Ben was sitting on top of Benjy in the kitchen, pinning him down easily as he took a big bite out of the last cookie ice cream sandwich.

“There is no way he doesn’t have powers! He’s still super strong!”

“Maybe I retained a smidge superhuman strength. You better start bulking up if you want to keep up, kid,” he said, taking another bite, this one much smaller. Ben sat back, giving you a smile, the both of you knowing he was giving Benjy an opening.

One he quickly took before wrestling his dad to the ground and stealing the rest of the sandwich. You stepped around them where they wriggled around the floor to pop the pizza in the oven to warm up.

“Hey! You ate half! You’re only supposed to take a bite!” said Benjy as he finished off the ice cream.

“You disowned me for four hours! I get an extra bite this time for that,” said Ben, flipping Benjy onto his back.

“Boys not in the kitchen,” you said, sighing as they rolled and hit the kitchen table. “I said-”

The front door swung open, Millie standing there with her duffel bag over her shoulders, kicking off her shoes.

“Oh my god, you won’t believe what happened. So Bree’s mom’s boyfriend…” she trailed off when she saw Ben in his uniform, a flash of fear on his face. “So is it public knowledge dad is Soldier Boy now or what?”

“Excuse me?” you said.

“You knew?” said Benjy, his face in a scowl. “You knew and didn’t tell me! I just bitched out dad and had to go through a whole lot of crying and-”

“You yelled at dad? Oh my god, Benjy. Did you not for one second think about how Soldier Boy and dad look identical? And how he would have grown up in a time period that was very different and that if you ever looked at the Vought trails a certain Benjamin was the only successful candidate? A Benjamin with an asshole father? I figured this all out when I was like ten, Benjy.”

“You’ve known for six years!” he said.

“Dad gave me a stuffed Soldier Boy bear when I was an infant Benjy! I’m not a fucking idiot like someone.”

“I’m not an idiot! You’re an idiot for not telling me! Did you find out all the stuff he-”

She rolled her eyes, walking over to where Ben was sat frozen on the floor. “Daddy. I’m sorry you have an idiot child that doesn’t understand the concept of empathy and using his idiot brain to, oh, think about all the stuff his dad does? Like volunteer a few days a week? And be his baseball coach? And Alex’s soccer coach? And how he’s always doing stuff with Uncle Brian and Joe to raise money for charity? Like clearly some of us know you’re a good guy.”

“Millie’s sleepover wasn’t a sleepover but actually a huge party that-” 

“Benjy!” she said, grabbing for him. He went for her too, Ben on his feet suddenly, grabbing them both and holding them at arms length. “I’m gonna kill you!”

“Stop calling me an idiot!” he shouted back.

“Stop acting like one and I will!” she yelled. Ben just shook his head and smiled as they bickered back and forth, chuckling to himself.

“You’re both idiots and I love you so much,” he said, bringing them into a crushing hug.

“Why am I an idiot!” said Benjy.

“You broke twin code when your sister very clearly decided against the party, even though she was planning on not telling us the truth. So we raised her right and you’re an idiot. And Millie’s an idiot-”

“Hey!”

“She’s an idiot for not telling you when she found out about me because you clearly went through a lot of duress tonight which could have been avoided. So you’re both idiots but that’s to be expected. You come from me after all.”

“Maybe Alex won’t be idiot. At least we got a chance with her,” you teased.

“Mom!” the twins said, Ben still laughing as he hugged them tight. He kissed them both on top of their heads, cupping their cheeks when he let them pull back.

“If you two…I would understand if you didn’t want me around anymore,” he said. 

“He’s right,” said Millie.

“We do get our idiocy from you.”

“Clearly,” said Millie.

“Kiddo, why did we want kids again?” he chuckled, nervously pulling away from them both. “So you’re both…okay with me being your dad still?”

“Obviously,” said Millie. He gave Benjy a careful glance, getting a hug in return.

“Yeah. I think I was in shock and it all came out wrong. I got that from you too?”

“Yes, yes you did,” said Ben. He closed his eyes and smiled. “Please do not tell-”

“Oh Alex knows too. Apparently it’s just the males genes in the family prone to more idiotic behaviors,” said Millie. Benjy growled as she stuck out her tongue at him.

“Good to know there’s no more secrets to be had then,” you said.

“Please tell me you didn’t tell Alex about the being tortured in Russia for forty years stuff. I know she’s ten but-” Millie’s face crumbled, tears instantly falling down her cheeks.

“Daddy was tortured?” she said, staring up at him. “F-For forty…that’s why you have PTSD. Dad…”

And then she was bawling, clinging to Ben like she four years old again and cutting her knee open on the driveway.

“Guys, you gotta stop crying,” said Ben, closing his eyes. “You’re fucking kiling me today.”

“What’d they do to you?” she asked.

“Yeah you didn’t exactly say,” said Benjy. You thought back to the tapes you’d watched, Ben’s eyes on you, the twins following it. “Mom knows.”

“Mom never cries,” said Millie as you wiped off your face. 

“Some things parents shouldn’t tell their children. And you two, and apparently Alex, already know more than you should. This isn’t your burden to bear,” said Ben.

“But who do you talk to about this stuff? You have PTSD from being tortured in Russia as Soldier Boy. You can’t walk into a therapists office like a normal person,” said Millie.

“You can talk to us dad,” said Benjy, smiling at you. “Mom too. You said some stuff earlier about your dad and so much bad stuff that happened.”

“What happened to mommy?” asked Millie, your heart breaking at her words. She was always going to be a daddy’s girl. But it’d been years since she’d called you that.

“Really, really bad stuff,” said Benjy. “But dad protected her and stopped those bad people.”

“Good. Slaughter ‘em all,” she said. “I hope all those Russian fucks are dead too.”

“Violence is never the answer,” said Ben. She gave him a bitchface and crossed her arms. “Okay. If anyone touched any of you, the person would rather be dead than what I had planned for them but still, you shouldn’t-”

“Exactly. Dad gets it,” she said. 

“Why do I feel like we’ve both failed and succeed as parents?” you asked.

“It’s been a long day. They don’t hate me so I’ll count that as a win today,” said Ben. He threw his head back when the twins started asking questions about Russia again. “Guys. Mom and I need to talk about what we want to share. If that changes, we will let you know. Now set the table.”

Ben slid over to you, taking your hand and pulling you out to the back porch, away from prying ears. He exhaled long and slow, resting his head on your shoulder.

“Are you mad I told Benjy the truth?” you asked.

“God no, kiddo,” he said, lifting his head, touching his forehead to yours. “I’m mad at myself for not acting like his parent and letting my emotions get the better of me. When he tore into me like that…it felt like when I used to run away because I was so scared of hurting you. I thought he was better off without me and then you come in with Benjy being so different around me and clearly I have some work to do on being a dad.”

“Honey, he opened some of your oldest wounds without understanding. You will always carry that pain. You have every right to get scared, just as much as the rest of us. You are as human as we are. And Benjy, Ben, when he stopped being angry for a split second and thought about why you could have done those things, he was horrified that he’d lost you.” You leaned forward, kissing the tip of his nose. “You’re okay. The kids love you. Benjy got scared today and so did you. It’s okay.”

“I know,” he breathed out, glancing at the house. “I just…I wish they didn’t have to know and could be normal kids.”

“Hey. Millie went to a party tonight but changed her mind, on her own, that it was too much for her and came home. I’d say we’re doing something right.”

“Should we ground her for that?” he asked. “Cause I really don’t want to. Plus she was crying about the Russia thing and she called you mommy and I can’t take another meltdown tonight.”

“We’ll let it slide. She’s a good kid,” you said, hugging him tight. “So. Soldier Boy.”

“Been awhile since you’ve said that with the kids home,” he murmured. 

“They’re old enough to know who dad is. As much as you want to tell them, we will.”

“Want to tell them how we really fell in love?” he asked, a soft smile on his face. You nodded, Ben leaning down, kissing your gently. “Thank you for never giving up on me. I know you risked your relationship with Benjy for me.”

“He’s you, Ben. He’s you if you’d never had the scars or the pain. Sure it was a risk but I knew how it’d turn out. Or I had a pretty good idea at least,” you said.

“Pizza is done if you two want to stop making out!” shouted Millie, her head popping out the back door.

“Ew! Oh my god, Mil, I totally forgot to tell you when mom came home early she was talking about having bought some special lube or-”

“Okay, end of discussion,” said Ben, shaking his head and taking your hand, leading you into the house. “No more lube talk. No more drama. Let’s have pizza like a regular family and maybe if you two can behave, mom and me will tell you how we got together, hm? Sound like a plan?”

For once, they both snapped their mouths shut, plopping down into their seats at the table.

“Oh, we’ll have to remember this. We can bribe them with information about ourselves,” you said as Ben dished up the pizza.

“Excellent idea,” he said as you both took seats at the table, the twins already digging in. 

“Story time,” said Millie with her mouthful, slurping up a piece of cheese. “Oh and give all the details please and thank you.”

“Well there was your father, butt ass naked,” you said, both their eyes wide. “He was very, very hot. And-”

“Too much detail,” said Benjy, shaking his head. “Way too much detail.”

“Well I want to know the details,” said Millie. They started to bicker back and forth, deciding how much information they wanted to know, Ben chuckling around his slice of pizza.

“Old man?” you whispered, leaning in close. “I don’t think you have to worry about our family not being normal anytime soon.”

“Me too,” he breathed out, reaching under the table to squeeze your hand. “Thank you.”

“Love you too Ben.”

_________

[raichett]

Free

Scar’s got a selkie coat kept in a magical safe in his shop, hoping that its owner might come to retrieve it some day. Grian just so happens to be a selkie.

Content warnings: implied/referenced forced marriage with all that entails (i.e. non-consensual or dubiously consensual sex, etc.) but this is very much in the past and not between any character actually on screen, past murder, non-humans eating humans for their crimes.

This fic can also be found on AO3.

‒

FREE

As soon as the man walks into his shop, the bell above the door ringing with a double note that no non-magical human could ever make it produce, Scar knows who he is.

He’s never met him before, mind, but he’s been – expecting. Hoping, maybe, that there would even be someone to retrieve the coat still.

Scar slaps on his best grin, making his voice bubble up with energy as he calls across the store, “Welcome to Convex Curiosities, good sir!” He doesn’t add on the next part of his usual script – How may I help you today? – and instead gestures with his fingers to beckon the man up towards the counter.

The man hesitates, glances around at the shelves of items – as though Scar would ever put his coat there – and trails up towards Scar. His shoulders try to hunch, but then he seems to catch himself, squaring them again. He looks… worn, ill, his wrists too thin and stress lines creasing across his face. He has soft light coloured hair, but it’s dulled and unhealthy, gone from sandy to mousey, and his eyes are shifting and flittering, scanning around as though expecting an ambush.

Scar pulls the seal skin coat out from under his counter, the press of his fingers unlocking the magical safe below with blue sparks. He lays it on top, one hand resting on the silky fur, watching as the man’s breath hitches and he leans in, desperate, before he suddenly flinches back, because one never reveals a weakness to a potential enemy. “This is yours, I believe.”

The man – this poor selkie with his coat stolen, living a half-life of pain and fear – licks his chapped lips. He looks – gods, he looks crushed. He ducks his head, squeezes his eyes shut briefly, and says, still some fire left in him, banked though it is, “Well, at least you’re more handsome than my last husband.”

Scar blinks. Then his heart lurches, his throat closing and sickness swirling in his gut. “Wha – no, no, no!” he corrects, frantically. His fingers fumble a moment before he manages to shove the coat right into the man’s arms. “This is yours – this – this is yours. Take it.”

The selkie man grasps onto his coat with a white-knuckled grip, dark eyes wide and lips parted, looking shocked. Scar swallows at that face, at what it must mean for whatever nightmares the selkie is dragging around with him, but he steps back from the counter, putting more space between them and placing the seal skin coat out of his arms’ reach.

The selkie also steps back, curling his arms around his coat and clinging tight. He so obviously didn’t expect to walk away with it freely – hoped, perhaps, for an ignorant shop-owner and buying his life back. Feared the prospect of a knowledgeable one and the power that knowledge holds – the power to make this selkie bend to another’s will.

“She’s in the harbour,” Scar blurts out before the selkie can make his understandable escape. He feels that the other would want to know. “The – er. The woman who tried to sell that to me. Crab food.”

The man stills, eyes locking with Scar’s. “You’re certain?” he asks.

Scar remembers it quite well, actually. It’s not the first dispatch he’s ever done, and it probably won’t be the last, but it is the most recent. He puts another smile on his face, this one a bit truer, but he doesn’t hesitate to bare his too-sharp teeth to the other, to invoke his own inhumanity. “I might have taken a bit of a nibble myself before we sank her,” he admits. Cub, too, but his co-owner isn’t here today.

“She was my mother-in-law,” the selkie says abruptly. “She – she didn’t know, but. She definitely deserved it. If she had, I think I’d be married to her right now…” He shivers. “I mean, my husband didn’t die for no reason, and she was like that for years – and at the funeral…” He falls silent and clutches his coat tighter to him. “Should’ve saved a bite for me,” he says, eyes narrowing, lips curling back from his teeth.

Aaaaannnd – Scar’s not touching that with a barge pole, thank you very much. “Sounds like the whole family was a piece of work,” he says instead, which it does. “And congratulations on your widowerhood.” Hoping to bring a more light-hearted feel to the room, he pulls a white handkerchief out of his pocket and dabs at the corner of his dry eye dramatically, waving it about with his hand after in an old farewell gesture. “Safe trip back to the sea, good sir.”

That pulls a huff out of the selkie, not quite a laugh, but headed that direction. The selkie then does something quite unexpected: he steps forward again, towards Scar.

“Your name,” he demands, not quite making it a question. His face is intense, but so animated compared to the resignation and misery of before. It’s good to see.

Scar tilts his head – why is the selkie sticking around? He should be running for the shore right now – but answers easily, “Scar.”

“Scar,” the selkie repeats. “Scar...” He smiles, then, small and rusty, an expression unused for quite some time – but still so pretty. He rubs his fingers over his coat, rocks back on his heels, and says, “Thank you, Scar. My name is Grian, of the North Sea.”

Oh, you’re far away from home, Scar thinks. But to say that would probably be rubbing salt in a wound. “You’re welcome. It was my pleasure, truly.”

“I’m sure it was,” Grian replies. “But still… thank you. I hope she didn’t give you indigestion.”

“She didn’t,” Scar confirms cheerily. “Though I cannot speak for the harbour crabs, of course.”

“Dinner is dinner, down below the waves,” Grian says. He takes a deep breath, white knuckles his coat again, and says, quiet but earnest, “Why don’t I buy you dinner some time?”

Scar’s mouth drops open a little, stunned.

“Not right now, obviously,” Grian hastens to add, clearly feeling the bite of something dark and sad and horrible nipping at his heels, echoed in Scar’s concerned face. “But maybe in the autumn, when we migrate back this way. I need – to see my family first.”

“I’m sure you do,” Scar answers, some meaningless silence-filler as a stand in for a response he’s not quite sure how to structure yet. Grian is a pretty man, no lie, but Scar has some decency in his heart, and as a veritable veteran of bad ideas, he thinks that rushing into anything with a newly-freed selkie would be one of them. “Um. Well, if you still feel the same way in a few months, you know where to find me!”

“So I do,” Grian says. He looks relieved, though, that Scar is refusing to try to pry his word out of him, not trying to spin it as a debt owed, leaving it an open-ended possibility. He smiles that rusty smile again. “Perhaps – perhaps I’ll see you again.”

“Perhaps,” Scar repeats. “Goodbye, Grian – may the stars be bright and the currents be kind.”

Grian’s eyes soften at the sea-folk blessing. “See you later,” he says, and leaves, slinging his coat around his shoulders, the bell above the door ringing as he steps out onto the street and is lost in the waves of people.

“See you later,” Scar echoes into the empty shop. I hope so.

[valentinoappreciator]

I DID IT

I finished the Vox fic!

Media: Hazbin Hotel

Rating: E for Explicit

Word count: 9537

Pairing: Vox / Self-Insert (female) Character

Warnings: Referenced / Implied rape, general abuse.

Tags: Valentino being a piece of shit, canon-typical violence, flirty Vox, bisexual Vox, smut (duh), light angst towards the end

Where else to read: AO3; username: TheWeirdDane; title: Tonight I'm Saying Goodbye Valentino

----------------------------------------------

No one had ever proclaimed that Valentino was a gentle lover and a kind soul. Or, if they had, they had certainly never met him. 

“Vox!” 

Vox swivelled around in his swivelling chair. He knew that voice all too well, not to mention the tone of it. Valentino was pissed about something, and would no doubt make it Vox’s problem. 

“Yes, Val?” he replied, careful to sound respectful and polite. 

Not that Valentino showed him the same courtesy. No, instead, he sent a fist through the air and rammed it into Vox’s screen. Seemingly not caring for his own fist getting torn up by the shards, he only cared for hurting for a loudly groaning Vox. 

“I thought I told you not to complete the transfer tonight!”

He had fallen out of his chair and now lay on the floor by Valentino’s feet. Lifting a hand to his cracked screen, he groaned in pain. 

“Care to explain yourself, Voxy?” 

He grit his sharp teeth. Clenched his hands into fists as he got up from the floor. Valentino was a good deal taller than him, but he was determined to look up into his partner’s eyes. 

“I thought I would complete the transfer as soon as possible to give us more time to---”

“Don’t think, Vox, that’s my job. Your job is to do what I tell you to. Got it? Or do I need to make you understand?” 

Vox was half a breath away from punching those stupid glasses off his face, but thought better of it at the last second. He quite enjoyed being alive, and hurting Valentino was a guaranteed one-way ticket to actual death. 

“Got it, Val,” he therefore hissed through gritted teeth. 

“Then clean yourself up. I don’t want to be seen with broken merchandise.”

“We’re alone,” Vox exclaimed before he could stop himself, and immediately upon speaking the words, he feared for his life. But Valentino simply stood there, as if waiting for more. “No one is seeing us here, Val!”

Valentino scoffed before turning on his heel. 

“You better pray you’re right, Vox. Or I won’t be so forgiving next time.”

It took a few days for his screen to heal. A few days that he spent avoiding Valentino, lest he aggravate the pimp overlord further. However, when he still hadn’t seen Valentino after close to a week, he decided he had had enough. 

Valentino was working late somewhere. Not that Vox really cared; Valentino didn’t care for his work, so why should he then care for him? 

“Going out. Don’t wait up.”

He knew he didn’t owe Valentino a text, but through all their years together, he had been conditioned into notifying Valentino about every little thing, and as such, he didn’t dare not to text him. At the same time, however, he was scared of the consequences. 

He never went out. As in, never. Feeling obligated to be at Valentino’s every beck and call, he felt like he couldn’t allow himself even one evening off. 

But not anymore. Tonight, he was saying ‘goodbye, Valentino’! 

As expected, Vox didn’t get a text back. He took that to mean that Valentino didn’t care for him tonight, and even though he was used to that, it still made a knot of anger rise into his chest. 

Despite never going out, Vox had been eyeing a small bar on the corner of the street where he lived. It was one of the few bars that Valentino didn’t own, and as such, Vox felt safe going there. It was a fairly regular club. Not the kind where pretty girls dance in skimpy outfits for horny sinners, but instead there was live music. Somewhat old fashioned, it seemed perfect to soothe the ache in his soul. Whatever may be left of it. 

Dressing in navy blue suit pants and a white turtleneck sweater under a navy blue suit jacket, he went out. 

Lesser demons recognised him in the streets, and they all bowed or curtseyed, giving his ego a pleasant boost. His screen may still be suffering slightly from their last scuffle, but it was mostly healed by now. No one seemed to notice the more stubborn, minor cracks, for which he was grateful. As he made his way into the bar, he was formally greeted and shown to one of the front seats, which were reserved for only the most important demons. From here, he had a perfect, unspoiled view of the stage, where a band played soft jazz. 

“May I take your order?” 

He turned his head. The voice belonged to a short statured, somewhat chubby lesser demon. Her hair was flaming red, her eyes piercing blue. She wore glasses - purple frames - and a kind smile. She had black-and-white horns that curled around her ears. 

Vox noted how she hadn’t addressed him by his title, nor by his name, as was customary for overlords. It surprised him; he thought everyone in Hell knew who he was. Seems he was mistaken. 

Interesting. 

He gave his order, and she scribbled it down on a notepad before bobbing her head in a polite nod, then took the order to the bar. His eyes followed her as she went. There was a spring to her steps, and she giggled at the bartender. Taking a tray into her hands, she walked around amongst the other patrons, until she ended up by his table again. 

“And here’s your drink, sir,” she smiled. He didn’t immediately reply. He instead took the glass and swirled it slightly, the golden-brown liquid sloshing around lazily. 

“Didn’t you forget something?” he asked, inwardly snickering at the way she instantly panicked. Her eyes widened, and she hugged the now empty tray close to her voluminous chest. 

“I beg your pardon, sir?” she said, her voice a tad too high pitched. 

“I believe it’s customary to address an overlord by their title,” he explained, speaking slowly and peering into his glass for a long moment before fixing his gaze on her face again. Recognition flashed in her eyes a fraction of a second before sheer terror overtook it. It wasn’t something he should delight in, but decades of working with Valentino seemed to, unfortunately, have rubbed off on him. 

“Oh Satan, I’m so sorry, sir, I mean, Mr. Vox, sir,” she whispered, looking mortified. She hugged the metal tray so close to her chest that her knuckles turned white. Her face quickly turned beet-red. 

He snickered. 

“I-I’m new here. It’s my first day, and I don’t really know how this place works.”

“New to Hell, or new to this bar?” he asked, not quite understanding where the genuinity in this voice came from. He eyed her curiously, taking a small sip of his drink. 

“Both,” she replied, a polite but clearly nervous smile on her face. “I arrived in Hell just two days ago, and, well, bills don’t pay themselves. One would think that capitalism was a special sort of hell reserved for the living.”

He let out a sharp, short laugh. That felt... oddly liberating. 

“You would think so, wouldn’t you?” 

Her nervousness seemed to dissipate a bit when he didn’t rip her a new breathing hole for not immediately knowing who he was. 

“But no. Capitalism is a hellscape all on its own. Not reserved for humans, it would seem,” she giggled. The sound was warm and bubbly, and he couldn’t help but glance at her before looking towards the stage again. 

“Enjoy your drink, Mr. Vox,” she said with a much more relaxed smile, “I’ll be right over by the bar, when you need a refill. I mean, if you need a refill, of course. I’m not saying you drink a lot or anything! I’m just saying that... uhm...” 

She laughed nervously, and all air was knocked out of him. 

“I think it’s better to go now before you say something you’ll really regret,” he hummed, swirling his drink while looking at her intently. 

“Yes, Mr. Vox, of course.”

She curtseyed and immediately left, her ears about as red as her hair. He looked after her, a lopsided, curious grin on his screen. 

Well, wasn’t she an interesting little thing? 

He sipped his drink slowly, savouring the taste. It burnt as it trickled down his throat, the sharpness of it ripping into his nostrils. As he drank, it was like his gaze was drawn to her every few minutes. The waitress. He didn’t know her name... yet. There was nothing that dictated that he couldn’t come to know it. 

But he had to be careful. He was an overlord; he couldn’t be seen mingling with the lesser demons. However... if Valentino could fuck - more like rape - the girls he employed, what was stopping Vox from enjoying a night with this particular woman? 

Finishing his drink, he saw another server on his way to his table, and he bared his teeth, waving him away. The server immediately turned on his heel to serve another table. With a satisfied grin, Vox looked for the waitress. When he finally laid eyes on her, he saw that she was giggling with the bartender again. She even put a hand on her arm, however briefly. It made an unpleasant heaviness settle in his chest, and while he didn’t want to examine it further, he did know why.

Somehow, for some reason, he wanted to bring her home with him. It wasn’t like Valentino ever put out, anyway. Not unless he was in the mood, never caring for Vox’s advances or needs. Suffice to say, he had some itches that needed scratching, and he had a feeling that this particular demon wouldn’t be opposed. But if she was into women... that would be a problem. 

Maybe she was into men and women, like himself? 

He sighed.

Maybe, if he asked, he would actually know. 

So, he got her attention and waved his empty glass. She immediately grabbed the tray, hopped down from the stool, and weaved her way through the crowd to get to him. 

“Yes, Mr. Vox, what would you like?”

“Your phone number, please. Along with a refill. As you predicted,” he grinned. 

At first, she looked stunned. Her eyes wide and her mouth slightly agape, she wasn’t far from a fish out of water. 

“My...?” She trailed off. 

“Your phone number,” he agreed. “And another drink. The same as before, if you please.”

She blinked rapidly, but then, a second later, it appeared that she got full control of the situation, turning the tables a full one-hundred-and-eighty degrees.

“I’m afraid the best I can do is my name and another whisky, Mr. Vox.”

He grinned widely. She reached for the glass. 

“I’m all ears, miss...?”

“Miss Cassiopeia,” she hummed as she bent over to take his empty glass. Vox might not be the most well-versed in waitressing, but he knew that she didn’t need to bend down that far to retrieve it. It did, however, mean that he got a proper eyeful of her cleavage, and if anyone was happy about that, it was him, and his cock. 

“Miss Cassiopeia,” he repeated, tasting her name. “A pleasure.”

“Pleasure’s all mine, Mr. Vox,” she practically purred, and once again, all air was knocked out of him. 

When she didn’t move back to the bar, he quirked an eyebrow and smirked. 

“My drink...?”

“Oh!” She blushed deeply. “Yes, of course, right away, sir.” 

She put the glass on the tray and hurried back to the bar. He followed her with his eyes. When he saw that she was glancing back at him, he nodded politely. Even from all the way over here, he could practically feel the heat radiating off of her. 

She came back just a moment later, with two glasses on her tray. He sent her a quizzical look. 

“This one’s on the house,” she smiled and put one of the glasses on his table. 

“And the other?”

“That’s just yours, sir.”

“And here I thought you were buying me a drink,” he said, feigning disappointment. She laughed heartily, and the smile appeared on his screen all by itself. 

“Do I need to buy you a drink, Mr. Vox?”

“That all depends.”

She shot him a puzzled look.

“On?” she eventually asked when he didn’t elaborate.

“On whether or not you’re free tonight.”

“Well, no, obviously not.”

He managed to feel deflated for all of four seconds, before she continued. 

“I’m working all night, and--- oh! Oh, you meant like...”

She blushed again, and now it was his turn to laugh heartily. He patted her hand without second thought as she moved to put the other glass on his table, but the touch seemed to startle her, because she immediately withdrew her hand. It happened fast enough that she spilled half the contents of the glass all over his pants. 

Immediately, that same terrified expression that she had had upon him presenting himself was on her face again. 

“Oh! Oh no, Mr. Vox, I’m so sorry,” she gasped, putting the tray down on his table and fetching a bunch of napkins from her apron’s front pocket. She began dabbing at the stains, and, try as he might, Vox couldn’t help but suddenly feel very warm. She was so close, frantically trying to clean out the whisky stains on his pants. He felt like he was paralyzed; he sat completely still, simply looked down at her as she scrubbed so desperately. 

“I’m so, so sorry,” she whispered without making eye contact. “I didn’t mean to--- you startled me, sir, and I--- I mean, it’s not your fault, of course, I just--- I’m a bit clumsy, and---”

“Miss Cassiopeia,” he then said firmly, but gently, careful not to raise his voice, “it’s okay. Don’t worry about it. It’ll wash out, and if it doesn’t, I’ll just buy another pair.”

She finally looked up at him, and his heart ached slightly when he saw her eyes getting wet. Poor girl would probably get fired for this if management determined it was her fault. 

“Don’t worry about it,” he insisted, softening his voice. “It happens. It’s just a pair of pants.”

“But they look expensive,” she whispered, looking mortified, and took his hand when he offered it to her to help her to her feet. Although he did like seeing her on her knees in front of him. 

“Perks of being an overlord,” he smiled. “You can work off your mistake if you feel so bad about it,” he then added without thinking, or without really wanting to add that. With his tone of voice, plus the insinuation, it was clear as day what he had said between the lines. 

Her already big eyes widened even further, and Vox was eternally grateful that he couldn’t blush, because he certainly would have if he could. 

“That was a joke, Miss Cassiopeia. Please, don’t take that seriously. I don’t know why I said that.”

“Thank you,” she mumbled, and although she did look relieved, there was also a part of her that seemed... almost disappointed. He couldn’t tell if it was the sagging shoulders or the downcast gaze, but there were definitely signs.

Highly curious. 

An awkward silence stretched out between them, before one of the bartenders screamed out her name. 

Cassiopeia startled and quickly grabbed the tray. 

“Again, I’m so sorry, Mr. Vox, sir,” she said hastily, returning to the bar. Once more, he followed her with his eyes, and frowned when the bartender looked to be giving her an earful. Cassiopeia nodded fervently, but it was clear that it wasn’t for fun. When she quickly glanced back at him, it was clear as day that she was on the verge of a breakdown. 

Vox didn’t really know why he cared. It wasn’t like this woman was anything to him. They didn’t know each other. They were only barely on a first name basis. But something inside him twisted unpleasantly at seeing her being scolded so harshly. It was painfully familiar.

He got up from his chair and strode towards the bar. 

“Is there a problem?” he asked the bartender, managing to keep his voice in check. 

“Mr. Vox, sir, I deeply apologise about Cassiopeia’s clumsiness,” the female bartender said. He didn’t like her voice, at all. It was way too slick and ass-kissing. She did have some kick-ass ram-like horns though. “It’s her first shift on her own, but she’s clearly not fit for it. I can have her trained further, or even fired if you---”

“That won’t be necessary,” he interrupted. They both stared at him, Cassiopeia with fearful eyes and the bartender with surprised ones. “I overstepped her boundary. That’s hardly her fault.”

“But, with all due respect, Mr. Vox, you’re an overlord, and such behaviour isn’t acceptable when serving someone of your standing.”

“Do you want me to make a big deal out of this?” he asked coolly. “I can take it up with management, but what do you think they will say to you when they hear that you didn’t train young Miss Cassiopeia adequately?” 

The bartender suddenly got very pale. She swallowed heavily. Vox could almost hear it, even over the soft jazz that was still playing. He leaned his arms on the counter of the bar, and a frisson of delight ran through him when she took a step back. Everybody here - well, maybe aside from Cassiopeia - knew that he was close with Valentino, and thus, they probably figured that he had the same violent, unpredictable tendencies. He didn’t, but she didn’t have to know that. 

“I don’t think they would come for her, but rather for you,” he hummed. “But... I can save you that kind of trouble. I am, after all, an overlord. If I say it’s fine, it’s fine.”

“Y-Yes, of course, sir, Mr. Vox, sir, thank you,” she croaked. 

“Good. Now, Miss Cassiopeia,” he said and turned to Cassiopeia, stretching out his hand, “will you do me the honour of sitting with me?” 

She was pale, but seemed to liven up at his question. She took his hand, albeit hesitantly.

“Of... of course, Mr. Vox.” 

He gently pulled her towards his table where they sat down. 

“Whisky?” he offered and pushed the full glass towards her. “It’s on the house.”

She laughed nervously. 

“Thank you, but I don’t drink on the job.”

He nodded slowly. He could understand that. 

“A wise choice, but you’re not on duty any longer. You can have the rest of the night off. I’ll see to it that your pay isn’t docked.”

She stared at him, as if she couldn’t believe what she was hearing. He nudged the glass with an elbow. 

“Unless you want a soft drink instead?” 

“No! I mean... I mean, no, whisky is perfect, sir. Thank you.”

“Anytime,” he smiled, finding that his smile was painfully genuine. 

She took the glass and a sip, and grimaced. Vox couldn’t help a soft chuckle. 

“Phew, it packs quite a punch, doesn’t it?” she laughed. 

“So, what’s your crime?” he eventually asked a few hours later. She was a few drinks in, but didn’t appear intoxicated whatsoever, quite like him. 

She raised an eyebrow. 

“You’re gonna have to be more specific,” she hummed, piquing his curiosity. 

“What landed you in the lust circle of Hell?”

She shrugged and took a long swig of her glass of water. 

“I was... promiscuous as a human. Worked in a whore house controlled by the mafia. Guess the big guy upstairs wasn’t happy about that.”

Vox snorted. 

“What is he happy about, really?”

“Damn good question, Mr. Vox,” she chuckled. “Unconditional loyalty to your fellow humans, I guess? Redeeming qualities? Hell if I know.”

Vox chuckled and sipped his whisky, admiring her. She was awfully pretty, with her chubby cheeks and piercing blue eyes. Her long hair was collected in a high ponytail that she had slung over her shoulder. The tip of the ponytail tickled her cleavage, and although he tried not to be a pervert and a sinner, it was difficult not to look. 

It had been a long time since he had been with a woman. The last many years had been spent with Valentino - a man - yet he was confident he knew what to do with a woman’s body. Obviously, a few main parts were very different, but on the other hand, many parts were the same. 

He was busy mulling over how to ask her to go home with him, when she gently nudged his am. He looked at her, blinking a few times. 

“They’re closing the bar,” she announced. “We have to go.”

Well, wasn’t that convenient timing!

“Would you mind terribly if I took you home?” he asked as they got up. He put down more than enough bills to pay for their drinks; he didn’t like being cheap. 

She didn’t immediately answer, instead just stared up at him, mouth agape. He chuckled, gingerly taking her hand. It was so warm and small in his. 

“No pressure, of course.” 

“No, I would... I would like that, Mr. Vox.”

“Great. I don’t live too far away, it’s easy to walk.”

“Perfect,” she hummed. 

Vox sent the bartender a cheerful smile before they exited the bar and walked towards his home. On the way, he slid an arm around her waist. Initially, she tensed, but it only took a fraction of a second for her to relax. Then she even leaned against him, wrapping her own arm around him. 

They looked at each other. She was blushing and very warm, even through his turtleneck, and his heart was absolutely hammering. Good thing he wasn’t currently monitoring his heartbeat, lest he alert the entire block about his elevated heart rate. 

Was there any way to misinterpret what was going to happen? He hoped not. But on the other hand, he hadn’t picked anyone up in decades. The rules for hooking up could have changed a million times! For all he knew, he could’ve been given off signals of ‘do you want to look at my stamps collection?’ all night. Which, in this case, wasn’t some twisted innuendo. 

However, when they reached his apartment, and he opened the door to let them inside, she stayed close to him. Her hand stroked slowly up and down his back, and she only reluctantly pulled away when he turned around to close the door. 

“Do you mind if I lock the door? You never know what kind of freaks live around here.”

“And here I thought you could afford to live in a respectable neighbourhood,” she chuckled. “Sure, go ahead. I also wouldn’t want to be interrupted.”

He raised an eyebrow, clicked the lock closed. Now, that was an interesting choice of words. 

“What, exactly, would they interrupt us doing?” he asked in a low voice, and oh, her blushing was adorable! 

“N-Nothing incriminating,” she quickly replied, looking up at him with wide eyes as he inched towards her. Eventually, he had her pressed back against the door, one hand on each side of her head. His breathing was uneven, but he tried to camouflage it with a hum. 

“That doesn’t exactly answer my question, now does it?” he murmured, leaning closer, pressing his lithe body against her more plump frame. “That only makes me think you have something... naughty in mind.”

She choked out an embarrassed sound, averting her gaze, and he laughed good-naturedly. 

“Which is exactly what I want as well,” he revealed before pushing off the door with one hand. “So, if I have mistakenly given off vibes of, I don’t know, stamp collections, then now’s the time to bolt.”

“But you locked the door.”

“Guess you’ll have to stay, then. Stamp collections and all.”

She laughed, pushing off the door as well, and suddenly, she was way too close. He could see the small clumps of mascara on her lashes through her glasses. He could see the pores in her skin. 

“Good thing I’m into stamp collections, then,” she murmured, and he inhaled sharply. 

Please be joking.

“I don’t... actually have a stamp collection,” he confessed, suddenly feeling incredibly warm. 

She giggled and swatted his arm gently. 

“I’m kidding, you silly! I’m not here for a stupid stamp collection. Not that there’s anything wrong with those, though, of course.”

He drew a deep sigh of relief. If he could sweat, he would’ve wiped his forehead. But her choice of words was, once more, very intriguing. 

“Then what are you here for, Miss Cassiopeia?” 

She swallowed heavily, the action practically audible.

“I thought that much was obvious, Mr. Vox,” she murmured, her voice wavering slightly, stroking a hand slowly up his arm until she reached his shoulder. 

A surge of warm, crackling electricity went through him. 

Oh fuck. 

She slid her other hand down over his other arm, eventually reaching his hand, where she laced their fingers together. 

Oh double fuck.

“Dance with me?” she asked quietly, looking up at him from under her lashes. 

Now it was his turn to swallow hard. 

“I... don’t dance,” he confessed, his voice a mess of sudden static. 

“You could... start to.”

She was already starting to move rhythmically. Very slow, giving him all the time in the world to pull back if he didn’t want to do it. Strangely enough, however, he didn’t move away. Pulling him in the direction of his living room, which was quite spacious, she giggled softly. 

“You can’t be a worse dance partner than my ex.”

“Are you willing to bet on that?” he chuckled, tentatively putting his hand on her waist. She shivered slightly, and blushed a beautiful, deep crimson. 

“No reason to. I know I’d win.”

He laughed heartily, and it felt good. Liberating. He could laugh with her, and it felt natural. It wasn’t a forced chuckle between gritted teeth, but an actual, warm sound from deep in his stomach, bubbling out from his speakers. 

They stood like that for a little while; simply swaying gently from side to side, standing close to one another. 

Vox wasn’t used to this. Whenever he was... intimate with Valentino, it was hard and rough, almost violent sex. He had gotten so used to that kind of intimacy that this, what he was currently doing with Cassiopeia, felt alien. Good, absolutely, but alien.

“Do you... want me to put on some music?” he offered after a few minutes. The silence was eating him alive. 

“If it’s not too much to ask.”

“I’m the one offering,” he chuckled, riffling through his many, many playlists before finding one fitting for the current scene. Soft jazz, not unlike the music they had been playing at the bar, started drifting from the speakers strewn around the living room. 

Being a tech geek had its perks. 

Cassiopeia hummed softly along to the music as she swayed her hips, taking a few steps to each side now and again. Vox didn’t know what to do, but he did his best to mimic her. 

“And you say you don’t dance,” she giggled, looking up at him. 

“Is this considered dancing, though?” he asked with a breathy laugh. 

She snickered, and then did something so ballsy that Vox froze for a second; she untangled their fingers so that she could move both arms around his neck, pressing them close against each other. He inhaled sharply. 

“I hope this is okay,” she whispered, leaning her cheek against his chest. 

He didn’t have the breath to answer.  

His hands hovered over her shoulders when she shoved herself against him, before sliding down over her body, eventually settling on her lower back. She exhaled shakily, and he couldn’t help but smile. Seems like he wasn’t the only one affected by this. 

The music was soft and gentle. It almost felt like it enveloped them, caressing them tenderly as they moved through the living room at a wonderfully slow pace. Like a lover’s touch. 

Vox was completely at a loss for words. Not that he thought this moment needed any words, but he would like to be verbally prepared, just in case she asked him a question or something. He wasn’t used to not having a good comeback, or a witty retort. It was scary, yet he found that... with her, it was okay. He felt safe in assuming she wouldn’t laugh at or mock him. Not unlike some others.

“You’re warm,” she mumbled, pulling him out of his thoughts. 

“Hmm?”

“You’re warm,” she repeated. 

It was true; he was incredibly warm. His server must be overheating. 

“Maybe you should... undress,” she mumbled, rolling her lower lip between her teeth. He inhaled sharply. 

Oh fuck. 

“You know, if you want to see me naked, you only have to ask,” he chuckled, stroking her lower back through her dress. Her face went bright red. 

“I-I didn’t mean--- that’s not---”

“But, I sense that you’re too innocent and nervous to be so forward,” he teased and pulled back. She put her hands on her face, laughing in embarrassment, but peaked between her fingers when the sound of him shrugging out of his suit jacket reached her ears. 

It was so cute and endearing that he couldn't help but laugh as he neatly folded the jacket and placed it over the backrest of the couch. 

“Do you think I should take this off as well?” he continued, tugging at the hem of his white turtleneck sweater. 

She nodded. 

“If you want to ventilate yourself the best, I think it would be the optimal solution.”

With a wide smile, he grabbed the hem and tugged. He struggled slightly with pulling it over his screen, but when he finally succeeded, Cassiopeia stood right in front of him. He jumped slightly. 

“Well, hello there,” he chuckled, throwing the sweater over his jacket. 

“Hello,” she said quietly, looking up at him. Her arms once more slithered around his neck, pulling them close against each other again. Surely, she would be able to feel his heart throbbing aggressively against its confines when they were this close, and surely, she would think it silly! 

But if she did feel it, she said nothing. She instead came closer and closer with her face, until her lips pressed against the edge of his screen. He inhaled sharply and nearly choked on the influx of air. He stood completely still as she kissed the slim edge, barely even breathing. His eyes closed slightly, and subconsciously, he pushed against her lower back, trying to get her closer. 

She snickered, but it sounded out of breath.

“Shut up,” he mumbled light-heartedly. 

“Not saying anything,” she quipped back. 

Well, he couldn’t deny that. 

He focused on her lips; soft and warm and perfect, they pressed against every inch of the edge of his screen, until she had covered it all. It wasn’t often that he mourned the fact that he had no physical lips to kiss with, but now was one such time. He found himself longing to taste the sweat on her flesh, the skin of her lips. Longing to kiss her, to feel her heated skin against his own mouth. 

But alas, it was part of his punishment, he reckoned. 

Each touch of her lips sent a warm crackle through him, leaving him panting like a dog trying to ventilate itself. 

“Still feeling too hot?” she asked quietly, and her hands started a slow, achingly slow, descent down his body. Sliding over his arms, they soon touched his abdomen and sides, but when they tentatively, almost hesitantly, began working the belt of his suit pants, he almost blacked out. 

He nodded, managing to stay upright by holding on to her. 

“Yeah,” he croaked. “Yeah, still feeling too hot.”

“You need some proper fans, then,” she murmured, pulling the belt from its hoops and folding it over his turtleneck on the couch. “Maybe some... more air, as well,” she continued huskily, popping the button and pulling down the zipper. 

A shudder jerked his body. 

“You’re being a tease, you know that, right?” he laughed softly, lifting a hand to the back of her head. Her hair was so incredibly soft. He carded his long, claw-like fingers through it, loving how the strands slithered between his fingers, much like sand. 

“I’ve never teased a day in my life,” she claimed, an underlying laugh tugging her voice a pitch higher. 

“That’s a bold lie if I ever heard one. You’re a natural at this.”

She giggled, but the sound faded when she reached a hand into his pants and took a hold of him. She gasped softly, whereas he groaned, trying to stifle the sound. 

“Oh, it wasn’t just the alcohol that was packing.”

He barked out a nervous laugh and put a hand on his screen. 

“Shut up, oh my goodness!”

“Not if complimenting your cock gets me this kind of reaction,” she giggled. 

In his mind, he knew that her touches wouldn’t stop at her simply grabbing him through his underwear. Yet, somehow, he had completely thrown the next step out the window. So, when she began stroking him, he could have sworn he blacked out, even if it was just for a second. 

“Fuck, Cassiopeia,” he grunted, gripping her hair tightly. She gasped sharply, and he was already letting go again, thinking he had hurt her, when she asked him to please, don’t let go. Quirking an eyebrow, he tryingly resumed the tight grip, and she made the prettiest, most adorable moan he had ever heard. 

“How... how far do you want to go tonight? Maybe that’s a good thing to ask before we get too carried away.” Why was his voice so staticky already? She was barely touching him!

“As far as you want. I’m prepared to go all the way.”

Oh fuck. She was going to kill him with this, wasn’t she? 

Up until now, he had been a hundred percent convinced that he was primarily into the rough, hardcore BDSM style sex. But, the more they bantered, the more they teased each other, the more he started re-considering that. Maybe he had just thought that because that was all that Valentino had ever shown him? 

He needed to get that out. Before it became too obvious, and she would dip. 

“I’m... not really good at tender sex,” he blurted out, stroking his claws through her hair once more. 

She didn’t bolt. She didn’t look at him weird. On the contrary, she smiled gently, stroking his monitor with her free hand. 

“It’s because of Valentino, isn’t it?” she asked, her voice soft. 

His eyes widened. 

“He doesn’t treat you right, Mr. Vox. I’ve seen your screen. You try to hide it, but I can see the cracks.” 

He shouldn’t let her talk to him like that. How dare she! He was an overlord! She was a mere lesser demon! But… she was right, of course. It was because of him. 

“Don’t worry,” she continued, retrieving her hand from his pants, “I’ll take good care of you.” 

He knew she would. He trusted her, for some bizarre reason. He couldn’t trust anyone, but her… her, he felt like he could spill his soul to. 

He let her drag him towards the couch where she made him sit down with a singular, gentle word. Swallowing hard, he looked up at her, his pants and underwear now down around his ankles. She smiled at him before straddling his lap. He groaned softly, automatically putting his hands on her thighs. They were shielded by a pair of tights, and he wished he could touch her skin. He didn’t feel like he could ask that of her, though. Not yet, at least

Her body weight on him felt positively heavenly. He leaned his head against the backrest of the couch, forcing his breath calm and even. 

“You don’t have to hold back with me, Mr. Vox,” she whispered, and began rolling her hips down against him. Slowly, as if testing the waters. He inhaled sharply, his claws digging into her thighs, which subsequently made her moan and shudder. 

She closed her eyes a sliver, and Vox could’ve sworn he had never seen a more beautiful and alluring demon. Was she, perhaps, an actual succubus? They were as dangerous as they were  exceedingly rare, so what was the chance of him meeting one on his first proper night out? It was highly unlikely. 

“Cassiopeia,” he groaned, unable to not buck his hips up against her. She gasped softly, then purred, looking down at him. 

“Yes?” she asked huskily, stroking the sides of his screen and pressing herself flush against him. 

“I wish I could kiss you.” It was true; everything within him yearned to kiss her, make her unravel in his arms. 

She smiled and let her fingers dance over his monitor. 

“It’s okay that you can’t,” she said, her voice soft and brimming with warmth. Slithering around him, her voice enveloped him in a tight and wonderful embrace. “You can make me feel good in other ways.” 

Electricity surged through him, forcing a shudder to jerk his body. Oh that he could, indeed. 

Retrieving his hands from her lower back, he put them on her breasts instead. She sighed contentedly, looking at him with half-lidded eyes. 

He squeezed her breasts, looking intently at her, and moaned when she once more began rolling her hips against him. His cock bobbed, as if seeking to press itself up into her. 

“Cassiopeia,” he groaned again, rubbing his thumbs over her nipples, and despite wearing - presumably - a bra under her dress, he could feel them harden. 

“Please, call me Cassy,” she whispered. A slight tremor had taken up residency in her voice. She leaned in over him, her face hovering mere inches from his screen, her hands on the backrest of the couch. 

“Is that what your friends call you?”

She smirked. 

“Something like that.” 

He chuckled, and decided that her clothes had to go. It would only be fair; he was stark naked, after all. Thus, he slid his hands under her dress and to her back where he fumbled with her bra. To her credit, she didn’t laugh at him or make a snide comment about his lack of skill or finesse. She simply looked at him, stroking his screen slowly with her thumbs. 

When he finally wrestled her bra open, she slid the straps through the sleeves of her dress before pulling the bra off and dumping it on the couch cushion next to them. He glanced in its direction, noting its purple lace and red floral pattern, and looked back at her. 

Despite being naked, he was still very warm. He definitely needed a new ventilation system. 

Stroking her breasts under her dress, she mewled softly and craned her neck, leaning her head back. As she exposed her throat, Vox groaned deep in his chest, once more cursing his lack of lips. He loathed his inability to kiss her pale skin, to mark her so prettily. 

“It’s okay, Mr. Vox,” she whispered, as if reading his mind. “It wouldn’t be very professional, anyway, to sport love bites at work. People would ask questions.”

“You can drop the title, for now.” Although he did like how it sounded, coming from her lips. 

She shuddered, exhaling deeply, and then yelped when he pinched her nipples. Not too hard, of course, but enough to send a shiver through her. 

“Now who’s the tease?” she giggled. He smirked. 

“Not me.”

She rolled her eyes, but smiled warmly all the same. 

“Yes, you.”

“No idea what you’re talking about,” he claimed, tugging at her nipples and relishing the sharp sound she made. 

“F-Fuck, Vox,” she gasped, sliding her hands to his body where they grabbed tightly, her nails digging into his bony shoulders. 

“Do you like that?”

“Fuck, yeah, I really do.”

Spurred on by her enthusiastic consent, he continued tugging and lightly twisting her nipples for a good while, every now and again squeezing her breasts instead. He made sure to commit every single second to his primary hard drive. Every sound she made, every way she squirmed, every glance she sent his way - it all went to his secret hard drive. 

Having paid good attention to her upper body, he was practically desperate to move lower. 

“Can I... touch you elsewhere?” he eventually asked quietly, stroking his thumbs soothingly over her perky nipples. 

“Please,” she whined, her voice tight. 

“Take off your tights, please.” 

“So polite,” she said, breathlessly, and got off of him for long enough to roll her stockings down, revealing a pair of panties that matched her bra. It drove him insane, and if he could have drooled, he probably would have. 

“Those, too, please.”

She smiled at him through her long lashes, and followed his wish. Putting her tights and panties on the couch, she finally sat back down on him, and he was eternally grateful that he wasn’t the only one who moaned at the intimate skin contact. 

She could now slide her slick folds over his hard cock, and she didn’t waste any time in doing so. Promptly, he shuddered and dug his claws into her thighs, leaning his screen back against the couch. She mewled. 

“Touch me,” she suddenly whined, and Vox immediately obeyed. 

Pushing a hand between their bodies and between her legs, he was careful not to nick her sensitive flesh as he stroked her clit. The second his fingers made contact, she shuddered, squeezing her legs together. 

“Vox,” she gasped, opening her legs again. He moved his other hand to her hip, caressing her, while continuing to stroke her clit. 

“Is that good?” he croaked, feeling as if he could combust any second. 

She nodded eagerly, grinding into his hand while also rubbing her folds over his cock. She was so incredibly wet, and despite his limited knowledge of female anatomy, he knew that was a good thing. A very good thing, even. 

“I want you, Vox,” she then whispered, making his heart skip a beat or two. “I want you inside me.” Without wasting any more time, and without waiting for him to make a move, she lifted herself onto her knees, guided his cock to her entrance, and sank down onto him. 

The second she engulfed him, Vox moaned throatily. His hand on her hip curled tightly, and he had to move his other hand to her other hip as well, to avoid injuring her private area. 

“Cassy,” he gasped, his throat feeling tight and dry. Warmth surged through him, and a shudder made him thrust up into her, subsequently pulling a sharp moan from her lips. 

“Vox! Give a girl a warning next time,” she giggled, but then moaned when he did it again, just to tease her. She felt... she felt... oh hell, there were no words, were there? She felt amazing, obviously, but she felt better than amazing. She was drenched, but tight around him, and combined with the warmth of her pussy, he was fairly certain that she had the ability to fry his hard drive, not to mention his servers. 

“Fucking hell,” he groaned, relaxing his grip of her hips. His cock throbbed repeatedly inside her, and every jerk made a soft mewl escape her. Her eyes were halfway closed, her mouth agape. 

“I’m going to move,” he said, fighting to get the words out in the correct order, and she nodded. 

“Please do,” she whined. 

His mind was reeling. How could a lesser demon feel so good? How could she make him feel better than he could remember ever having felt? Maybe it was the thrill of being with someone new, someone he likely wouldn’t see again. Maybe it was simply because what they were doing was so soft and tender. 

Vox kept his promise and began thrusting up into her. Slowly, steadily. Each move, her cunt gripped him like a vice. Each move, his cock throbbed inside her. He could practically feel every inch of her insides pulsate and flutter around him, and it drove him to the edge of insanity. 

She grabbed his shoulders tightly, whining needily for every thrust and looking at him through her lashes.

“Fuck, Vox, that feels so good,” she whimpered, clenching around him when he pulled back. As if she didn’t want him to pull back, although they both knew he was going to plunge into her again, and again, and again. There was no way he could stop now. 

“It really does,” he agreed with a shaky grunt, squeezing her hips firmly and throwing his screen back in ecstasy when she mewled. 

This was insane. How could anything feel this fantastic? It should be a sin! Which, well, it already kind of was...

Good thing he had never really cared about sins or their so-called consequences. 

Cassiopeia leaned in over him once more, pressing her lips to his screen over and over again. Each kiss made him more and more aroused, until he couldn’t help but push hard up into her. He had wanted to take it easy, had wanted for this to be soft and tender, but with the pleasure forming tight knots in his stomach, it was getting increasingly difficult. 

“You’ll make me come at this rate,” he whispered and laughed breathlessly, pressing her down against his lap while thrusting up into her. Each thrust pulled a sharp moan from her. 

“Oh no, what a travesty,” she giggled and began kissing his neck. This made his heart skip a beat. He inhaled sharply, his hips pressing hard up against her. In response, she bit his neck, and he moaned loudly, automatically throwing his head back and thus exposing his throat even further. He was trembling something fierce, his heart beating aggressively.

She quickly pulled back, a deep blush adorning her face. 

“I-I’m sorry, Vox, I didn’t mean to--- I doubt Valentino would appreciate you having love bites from someone else...”

“Let me worry about him,” he almost growled. “You just worry about feeling good.”

“That’s not hard,” she smiled, tentatively leaning in to kiss his neck again. He shuddered, and his thrusts became harsh. “Easy, Vox, easy,” she gasped, smoothing her hands over his chest. “We have all night.”

“I-I can’t stop,” he gasped, groaning deep in his chest when she began rolling her hips again, meeting each of his thrusts. Her hands on his chest, and his hands on her hips, they were so close to each other that it was hard to figure out where one started and ended. Her scent was all over him, enveloping and embracing him. It was intoxicating. An expensive perfume, no doubt, that only barely covered her natural aroma, which became more and more prominent as the minutes passed. He could smell her arousal so easily; warm and heavy and heady, it made his head spin. 

“Do I feel good, Vox?” she whispered, stroking his nipples and collar bones. 

“You feel amazing, Cassy,” he moaned. His orgasm was imminent and inevitable, but he didn’t want it to end already. While knowing that he had several rounds in him, he didn’t know about her. And if there was one thing he didn’t want, it was for this to end prematurely. 

She smiled, a dazed, stupid smile that made his heart flutter. Butterflies flapped around in his stomach, and he wanted so desperately to blame it on the alcohol. After all, it had been a while since he had had this much to drink. However, he had a feeling he couldn’t write it off as inebriation. 

She then had the audacity to ask a question that very nearly fried his servers and made him shut down. 

“Do you think you can come for me?” How could she sound so innocent and soft when asking such a thing?

“Fuck,” he croaked - he couldn’t say much else - and closed his eyes, focusing solely on the way his stomach jumped and pleasure coursed through him. His hips stuttered for a few seconds before pushing ruthlessly up against her, making her gasp. 

“Yes! Yes, Vox, that’s it, that’s it,” she cried out, wrapping her arms around his slim neck and pressing herself flush against him. “That’s it, don’t stop, oh fuck!”

Vox didn’t intend to stop. On the contrary. He kept drilling into her, his moans growing louder and louder, sharper and sharper, until he suddenly, without knowing what exactly had been the tipping point, knew that this was the point of no return. 

“I’m going to come,” he growled, slamming up into her while at the same time pushing her down on him, eager - no, desperate - to get as deep as possible. 

“Yes,” she whispered on a shaky exhale, “yes, come in me, Vox, please, I need it...”

Hearing her voice so tight and laced with wanton need, Vox couldn’t hold himself back. 

He shuddered before tensing, his entire body going rigid, and he came in her with a loud, throaty groan. 

“Cass--- Cassy,” he groaned as unbelievable, white-hot euphoria sloshed through his cords, making him see binary code that made no sense. His claws dug into her hips, no doubt leaving marks, and he felt light as a feather. He arched his back against her, and despite being so close to her, he couldn’t make out what she was saying. He heard her needy voice, but couldn’t string the words together into something coherent. 

And then it was over. Far too quickly, the sensation of weighing the same as a feather was replaced with one of feeling like a slab of concrete dropped into the ocean. He sagged back against the couch, breathing hard and fast. 

On top of him, Cassiopeia continued to grind against him, desperately seeking her own release. She was now leaning back, her hands on his thighs for support, rolling her hips desperately. 

“Let me help you,” he slurred, reaching a trembling hand down between their bodies, and fondled her clit again. She mewled loudly, and her body went taut for a few seconds before going limp. A loud, high-pitched whine tumbled over her lips, increasing in volume the more he touched her. His other hand’s claws scratched over her thigh, and he watched her face intently as he did so, careful not to be too harsh and tear open her skin. 

“Vox!” she suddenly cried out, and Vox knew that she, too, had passed the point of no return. 

“I’m here,” he growled, stroking her clit a tad faster and harder. “I’m here, Cassy. Can you come for me?” 

“No fucking doubt,” she whispered, and the corners of her lips twitched upwards in a light smile. 

“Then do it,” he said, carefully digging his claws slightly into her thighs. 

That seemed to be what she needed. 

With a gasp, then a long string of something that could potentially have been his name, he felt her cunt clench tightly around him, before fluttering rapidly. She let out a loud whimper, and her body went stiff. Her eyes were closed tightly, but her mouth wide open. 

“That’s it, Cassy, that’s it,” he praised, continuing to stroke her through her orgasm, “look at you, being so good for me.”

She sobbed out a sound he didn’t know how to interpret, and thus, he gradually slowed down his merciless stroking, until she grabbed his wrist, jerking his hand away. 

“No... no more,” she whispered, out of breath and barely able to get the words over her lips. Yet, she was smiling, and her voice was light and airy. 

“Okay,” he whispered, withdrawing his hand to put it on her hip instead. He caressed the flesh soothingly. “You did so well, Cassy.”

Cracking open one eye, she looked at him. 

“You did all the work, Vox.” 

“It was a pleasure,” he assured her, sending her a warm smile. 

She smiled back before slumping against him. 

“I could sleep right here, right now,” she proclaimed, already yawning.

He laughed softly, still trying to catch his breath.

“I do have a bed, you know. It’s big enough for the both of us.”

“Hmm, no. No bed. Only couch,” she giggled. 

He shook his head with a chuckle. 

“We’re going to the bed, whether you like it or not,” he said and gingerly pulled out of her. She whined, and he had to agree; it was so much better to warm his cock in her. But alas, it was necessary to detangle themselves to go to bed. 

“Fine,” she whined and was about to get up, when Vox lifted her under the knees and her back. She hummed, nuzzling her face against his chest. 

“You’re strong.”

“I’m an overlord, what did you expect?” he chuckled and carried her upstairs to his bedroom. Once inside, he carefully laid her down on the massive bed before snuggling up close to her. She moaned softly and offered no resistance when he pulled her back flush against his chest. She stroked his hand as it lay on her stomach, and sighed deeply. 

“That was incredible,” she whispered after a moment of silence. 

“Do you think we’re done?” 

Another moment of silence, then an incredulous laugh. 

“Can you seriously go again already?”

“Again, I’m an overlord. I’m not bound to the same restrictions as you peasants,” he snickered, sliding his hand from her warm stomach and down to her sticky cunt. 

“Peasant. Wow, that’s rude,” she giggled, but hummed in pleasure when he began touching her again. 

“Like you don’t want another round,” he teased, slowly stroking his fingers over her clit, and relishing the shiver that went through her. 

“Easy, Vox, let a girl rest.” There was a teasing lilt to her voice, making him more relaxed about continuing. The more he touched her, the harder he got, until his cock pressed against her lower back, his heart beating incessantly and quickly. 

“Rest is for the weak.”

“Well, then I’m the weakest peasant you’ll ever see,” she yawned, but nonetheless turned on her other side to look at him, touching his screen gently. She was smiling; something that made Vox very happy, for reasons he didn’t dare examine. 

“Do you want it, though?” His voice was soft, genuine. “I don’t want to force you.”

“That’s very considerate of you, Vox. Yes, I do want it.”

His heart rate picked up as he moved on top of her. She looked at him with those big, gorgeous blue eyes, and suddenly, his throat was tight and dry all over again. 

“Tell me if it hurts or anything,” he said quietly, guiding his cock to her entrance. She was still wet - or maybe again? - and as such, it was easy to slide inside her. She moaned softly, closing her eyes a sliver and grabbing the pillow under her head. 

“Vox,” she whispered, and there was something in the way she murmured his name that made the breath hitch in his throat. It was so soft and delicate. Intimate in a way he had never heard it said before. It made him swallow heavily. 

“Cassiopeia,” he whispered back, smiling when a full-body shudder went through her. She didn’t correct him, didn’t tell him to call her ‘Cassy’ again, and he appreciated that more than he had the words to articulate. 

He grabbed her hands with both of his, lacing their fingers together. She moaned softly, closing her eyes fully. 

Vox began pushing inside her, as deep as he could, until she made the smallest, softest whimper, and he met resistance. Then he pulled back, slowly, until just the head of his cock was inside her. The way her pussy clenched around him was delicious, and it took all of his self-control not to slam back inside immediately. 

“Please, don’t tease me,” she murmured. 

“I’ve never teased a day in my life,” he grinned, taking her words from earlier and using them against her, making her snicker. 

“That’s a bold lie, Mr. Vox.”

“I’m nothing if not bold.”

“That you are,” she sighed, the sound turning into a pleased whine when he slowly pushed back inside her. 

This time, there was no rush. Having gotten the worst craving out of his system, Vox actually managed to take it slow and easy, like they had initially agreed upon. It felt absolutely amazing, and he could’ve sworn that this kind, tender, gentle lovemaking rewired his system in real-time. The only thing he regretted was that he couldn’t kiss her. He wanted to so desperately, but it was impossible with his screen and lack of tongue, not to mention lack of lips. 

“You’re amazing, Cassiopeia,” he said softly, rolling his hips gently. 

“You are, too,” she whispered, looking up at him with such sincerity in her eyes that it stole his breath away. “I don’t... want tonight to end.”

He swallowed hard. That was the thing, though, wasn’t it? It would have to end at some point, and he would be forced to go back to Valentino and his abuse. 

“Me neither,” he mumbled, a thick, sticky ball of emotions lodged in his throat, leaning his screen against her forehead. It was the closest thing to a kiss they could come. 

It would have to suffice. For now.