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yukidragon · 2 years ago

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An Examination of Joseph Cullman’s Childhood

Okay, while I don’t want to make a habit of answering twitter asks here on tumblr, this got my brain buzzing, and I want a little more room to ramble than in a tweet thread.

Before we get started, the lovely artwork I’m using for this post was drawn by Sauce/Jambeebot and was posted on their public twitter before it went down. As always, I’ll gently remind you not to post any of the private pictures from the SnaccPop Studio patreon. It’s only $3 to sign up, and it really supports this engaging game. Also, consider joining the Sunny Day Jack kickstarter, but hurry since there’s less than 2 weeks left to get the rewards.

Quick warning, Something’s Wrong with Sunny Day Jack is an Adults Only game, so there will likely be some mature themes discussed. At least one image I use will depict a person committing self-harm while being encouraged verbally to do so. Take care when indulging in this fandom.

Also, before I begin, I want to tag @channydraws @earthgirlaesthetic @sai-of-the-7-stars. If you want to be tagged when I make these headcanon posts, please let me know!

Oh, and while I’m at it, please let me know what you think about my SDJ fanfics, Sunshine in Hell and Sunshine in Another World. Thank you!

With all that out of the way, let’s get down to business.

First, let’s list out the facts we do know about Joseph’s childhood that are canon according to the official Sunny Day Jack twitter.

Joseph Cullman was (presumably) born in 1959, according to this memorial marker.

He attended Haberdae High School until he ran away during a school day at 12pm.

He traveled on foot and was last seen by train tracks.

He would be 63 years old at present day.

He got into trouble at school on a regular basis, as evidenced by comments on this disciplinary report.

Joseph had a habit of skipping school to the point that it seemed to frustrate his teachers.

He carried around a lighter and a small knife.

He “smelled of smokes” (cigarettes).

The disciplinary report was written on August 23, 1973, around the start of the school year.

He was given a 1 month in-school suspension.

The teachers were given permission to search Joseph’s belongings before class.

Joseph had changed his last name to Haberdae when he got the part of Sunny Day Jack.

As an adult, Joseph is concerned about putting children “in a bad position,” or something to that effect.

Joseph stated that he got his tattoos when he was in high school when he, “didn’t know any [better].”

The show’s psyche and development consultant made these assessments about Joseph at their first meeting:

Consultant: I’m willing to bet that you had a very hard life growing up. For someone so young to be so defined(?) in themselves and to lash out like that, making permanent adjustments to their bodies in order to stand out… You wanted attention, didn’t you? You wanted to be seen and heard and felt and loved…

Consultant: I’m sure you especially understand what it’s like to, say… have a parent or guardian tell you that they love you, right? But, maybe even as young as, say… six, you could tell that they didn’t really mean what they were saying.

So far, there’s no information about Joseph’s biological family, or about any friends he may or may not have had at any point during his childhood. The only relationship we get a glimpse of is the (presumed) frustration of the teacher writing the disciplinary report, as suggested by the use of excessive exclamation marks and the phrasing used.

Students in the USA attend high school at ages 14-18. Given that Joseph was born in 1959, and the report was made in 1973, it’s most likely that he was 14 at the time the report was made.

The punishment for his behavior was to put Joseph on an in-school suspension for one month and allowing teachers to search him before class begins.

What is in-school suspension? Well, here’s an definition I found:

In-School Suspension (ISS) is a behavior management program for student misbehavior aimed at keeping students in school to complete their work while being isolated from the rest of the student body. ISS is used as a school punishment for infractions that are not severe enough for suspension but require behavior remediation. Students who are in violation of school rules and regulations can expect to be temporarily assigned to the ISS classroom where they will be supervised by school personnel or a teacher.

From all this, we have a brief glimpse at the timeline of Joseph’s high school life. Right at the start of attending Haberdae Highschool, he was skipping classes, presumably to sneak off to smoke, as he was found smelling of cigarettes with a lighter and a knife on his person. There were no cigarettes on him when he was caught.

Joseph had frustrated his teachers, and his behavior resulted in him being isolated from his peers for at least a month with an in-school suspension. At some point after this report, he ran away from school during lunch and hadn’t been seen by anyone who knew him since then.

This immediately makes me think of a piece of art where Jack said certain things that stood out to me.

While technically this picture isn’t canon due to it not being in the game or on the official twitter, I think the things Jack says here connect directly to his experiences in Haberdae Highschool. What’s also telling is that there are two styles of font - the more easily read white on red text, then the more faded and smeared text.

What’s interesting is on the Patreon, this image was voice acted and was slightly modified. While I won’t share the video file here, I’ve been told that it’s fine to discuss what is seen on Patreon, so I’m going to do a quick transcript.

...

(panting, out of breath, sounding like he's speaking through faint TV static)

There we go!

That wasn't so hard, was it?

It's all done now.

You won't ever hurt them again.

(more breathy and composed)

Isn't that nice?

Aren't you glad?

It's for the best, I promise.

You just aren't special enough for them~

(slightly tense but still "cheerful" tone)

This is the right away~

(more breathy, quieter voice)

You're so worthless.

You can't do anything right anyways.

You're just a burden to the whole class.

I'm sorry, but you failed.

I'm clean now.

Don't ruin this for me.

(no static filter, normal speaking voice, tense yandere tone)

They don't need you.

I'm the only thing they'll need... forever... and always.

(knife slice)

...

I highly recommend joining the patreon to listen to the audio for yourself, as the transcript doesn’t give the marvelous voice acting justice. Jack is very chilling in this audio.

This picture suggests the duality of the cheerful Sunny Day Jack persona conflicting with Joseph’s core feelings and issues. The former is written in the more bold text, more confident and almost “cheerfully” delivered as if he’s trying to keep acting like the teacher he played on TV. The latter is delivered in almost a whisper to himself, as if he’s projecting things that once were directed at him as Joseph to this unknown victim.

I suspect that Joseph was told, among other things, that he was “worthless,” “a burden to the whole class,” and that he “just can’t do anything right anyways.” Given that the last known class he attended was high school before he ran away, it would seem to be these were things teachers said to him. If he’s projecting these words on people he finds, as his profile might suggest, “inferior,” then that suggests how he felt about himself at this age... or at least that’s what others labeled him as.

It also suggests many scars from Joseph’s childhood are still lingering to this day.

This paints a strong picture that Joseph was disliked by his teachers during high school. Whether or not he acted out earlier during elementary or junior high is difficult to speculate, but it’s unlikely these behaviors started on the first day of the new school year.

I’d like to take a quick look at this picture of young Joseph (along with fully grown Jack). While the canon of this picture must be taken with a grain of salt, it does suggest a few things. Joseph is roughed up, his clothes scuffed, he’s covered in bandages, his clothes have a patch on them, and he shows a rebellious attitude, sticking out his tongue and flipping the bird. He gives the impression of a typical “punk” teenager.

If the consultant’s assessment was accurate, then Joseph, when younger, acted out to get the attention, most likely the attention of his parents/guardians. This suggests that his parents/guardians were neglectful of him and his needs. They paid lip service to being his caretakers, but in the end didn’t actually care about him at all. This sort of neglect often leads to kids lashing out in order to get some sort of attention. After all, bad attention is still attention.

The game takes place in El Paso, Texas, where the SunnyTime Crew Show was filmed, but that isn’t necessarily where Joseph is from. It’s hard to say how far his hometown is from El Paso, but either it was a good distance away... or the people in his hometown weren’t trying very hard to find him.

According to the interview with the reporter, the SunnyTime Crew Show was “inescapable” and “everywhere” with Jack being regarded as the “leader,” otherwise regarded as the face of the show. The reporter commented, "I'd put money on you being the crush of at least half of the housewives across America who tune in." This implies that the show was broadcast nation-wide and was very popular, which suggests to me that, even though Joseph is still actively listed as a missing person, no one is cared enough to really look for him.

This ties into the themes of Jack being deathly afraid of being forgotten. Joseph was ignored unless he lashed out, only to be isolated from others as punishment, and even as a missing person with his face plastered on televisions, lunchboxes, books, and other merchandise, no one bothered to look at Joseph even after he ran away from home as a teenager.

All of this paints a pretty bleak picture of Joseph’s childhood, one devoid of love or affection. It’s no wonder he’s so desperate for it now and why he’s abandoned his previous identity for one that was actually cared about and remembered... until the studio buried his memory, of course.

#Sunny Day Jack #Something's Wrong With Sunny Day Jack #SunnyDayJack #sdj #swwsdj #Headcanon Ramblings #Ask #Transcript #Sauce-y Art #Jack #Joseph Cullman #[Redacted] Haberdae

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alexiessan · 5 years ago

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Never alone - Chapter Two - Soulmate AU

AO3

Previous - Here - Next

Master List

Hello! Faster than ever before, I present you the second chapter of Never Alone!

I chose to not describe Marinette with her clothes or hairstyle so that you can imagine her as you want! In my mind, since she's a fashion designer, I imagine her always changing her clothes and very fashionable. I don't see her with her pigtails either. But it's up to you as to how you see her!

Also, I'm French, so if there are any grammatical mistakes, do not hesitate to tell me so I can come back and correct them!

Two months in the new school year, and Marinette was already exhausted. While she had a very calm summer filled with outings with her friends, she was now drowning in work. Jagged wanted her to design his newest album cover, and Clara Nightingale has asked for a new outfit for a music video.

At school, Alya and Marinette were doing their best to find a good trip for the end of the year. The school had a decent amount of money that was set aside specifically for their class trip, but they would need to organize an event or two if they wanted to go somewhere outside of Europe. They were lucky enough that their class’ trip was set for their first year of high school: Mrs. Mendelieiv’s class’ trip was set for the next year, right before the first set of exams for the baccalaureat.

Along with all that, there was also her duty as Ladybug. Hawkmoth has been relatively calm during the summer, but as soon as school started again in September, he released his akumas again.

Except, now, they were more brutal than ever before.

Ladybug cursed as the Akuma managed to deeply cut her on her left side. She watched as Chat jumped in as she collapsed on the roof they were battling. True to his promise, Chat took his job more seriously and only joked during patrols now. He also stopped to jump mindlessly in front of her to save her from a hit and actually tried to get both of them out of the way.

The Akuma they were fighting was a dangerous one. His arm has been transformed into two big shears, and they hurt like hell.

Ladybug watched with fascination as her hand was tainted with her own blood. She couldn’t remember if an Akuma had hurt her that much before… She knew for sure that she was bleeding too heavily and she was getting a bit dizzy. They would need to end the fight very soon.

Standing up, she took advantage of the distraction Chat provided to trip the Akuma with her yoyo, succeeding in tripping him. Quickly, Chat snatched the man’s bow and used cataclysm on it.

As she cleansed the Akuma and watched the light heal Paris and herself as she cast the cure, the red-clothed superhero couldn’t help but think it was time to contact the Justice League again.

Back when they got their miraculous, she and Chat had contacted the Justice League of Europe to ask for help. They were just teenagers without any training entrusted to protect a whole city as big as Paris, and it was clear to them they couldn’t possibly do that alone.

The person they had talked to at the moment had listened to them, took note and told them they would come back to them after informing the heroes of the issue in Paris. It was a month later that one of the heroes contacted them, informing them they would not intervene in Paris, as they have been doing a good job up until now and the miraculous cure healed everyone and repaired everything. They then give them words of encouragement before they cut the connection.

Ladybug had then wanted to contact the Justice League of America before remembering they wouldn’t be able to do anything as France was certainly not under their jurisdiction.

And thus, there they were, still two untrained teenagers, acting on instinct against people with magic powers.

Great.

She let Chat take care of the victim, still feeling the pain on her left side, even though it was healed and there was not a trace of blood left on her person.

“Are you ok?”

Ladybug watched as the victim was taken care of by some policemen and turned her attention to her partner.

“I’m fine Chat. Sorry I had to let you handle everything.”

“Hey, you were hurt and losing a lot of blood. It’s a wonder you could even stand up afterward.”

The girl smiled. “Should we try to contact the JLE again?”

Chat Noir sighed. “Even though they won’t intervene, they are watching closely what’s happening here. If they haven’t decided to step in yet, contacting them won’t change anything LB.”

Ladybug sighed. “You’re right. Of course. I should go Chat, I’m about to transform back.”

“Sure thing. I’ll see you later, then.”

Back in her room, Marinette winced as she sat down on her bed.

“Are you really ok Marinette?”

Tikki was looking at her with her big, wide blue eyes. She was obviously worried.

“I’m fine, just a bit sore. I’m lucky that the cure healed me, but I think I’ll still feel the pain for a few days.”

While the cure healed her, the pain stayed for some time after, varying on the severity of the injury. Since her latest injure was pretty severe, it would hurt for a little while.

“Alright, I still have some homework to do for tomorrow. You should eat something and go to sleep Tikki, you must be tired after today. There should be a cookie or two on my desk.”

The kwami looked at her for a moment before flying over her desk, knowing it was useless to insist and there wasn’t anything she could do anyway. Even if she wished she could take Marinette’s pain away.

“Alright girl, you said you found something for the trip?”

It was early December now, and Marinette had asked Alya to join her in the school library to discuss the trip. The fashion designer took the laptop out of her bag and opened it to show her what she found.

“So, you know how the trip also has to be educational? This is the Wayne Career Program. It’s designed for high school students. Each one of us would shadow someone in the firm as a sort of internship to learn about different professions.”

“Putain, girl! That’s amazing. Wayne Enterprises have a lot of different sectors. I could totally work with the PR team if we can manage to secure a trip there. Plus it’s in Gotham, in America!”

Alya literally squealed at the idea of traveling overseas.

“Yeah, I’m a bit worried about that actually. You know it’s not really the safest place on Earth.”

And what an understatement that was. Gotham was probably the city with the most crimes in the world. It would be a miracle if the school allowed them to go. But then again, the school board would do anything to up their reputation and a class winning an internship at WE… The principal would boast about it years after they had all graduated.

“There is an essay we have to write to apply. I suggest we write it before we present the idea to Ms. Bustier. We also need to prepare arguments for her and the school board.”

“No problem girl, I already have tons of arguments there.” The reporter showed her her notebook where there were two pages filled with arguments. The class president nodded, those were really good. She could really rely on her friend.

“Well, that was quick. Those should be enough to convince them. On to the essay, then. ‘How do you think you can change the world?’”

They spent hours after that, taking notes and making several drafts of the essay. It took them a week to have the actual final product and when they handed it to Ms. Bustier, she was delighted. It was decided they wouldn’t announce the destination of the trip to the class until they were sure it could be a possibility.

Alya and Marinette had dropped hints about the destination though, to see if the class would actually like to go to Gotham.

After a week or so, they knew they had chosen well.

On Marinette’s birthday, on the 16th of December, after lunch where the whole class sang Happy birthday to her, the class president and the class deputy had a meeting with the principal and the board of the school.

It was tough to convince them, and the meeting actually lasted the whole afternoon, but at the end of the day, they had all signed the papers that confirmed that the trip would happen in Gotham, should the two girls won the contest. They even agreed to unfreeze some more funds for it. This program would really look good on the school’s record.

It was with a bright smile that they returned to class ten minutes before the end of the day bell and announced to everyone that the trip to Gotham has been confirmed. Using the classroom’s computer, the whole class witness as the two girls applied to the Wayne Career Program.

Now, all they had to do was wait for an answer.

Life after that was a bit calmer for Marinette, if you didn’t count the Akumas. She worried that they were more and more violent, and more often than not, she had lingering pain from injuries she got at Ladybug.

But life was good. Lila had even stopped lying and was herself. Even if it means that she wasn’t very kind to anyone, even mocking all of them at times, the class would just scoff and roll their eyes at her antics. The designer still wouldn’t talk to her, but the atmosphere in the class was lighter than the previous year, and for that Marinette was grateful.

They were all at an outdoor ice rink at the end of January when Marinette’s phone beeped with a notification.

“Oh fucking shit, guys!”

It caught everyone’s attention as the tiny Dupain-Cheng was not one to curse like that.

“I just got an email for Mr. Wayne’s secretary! Our class is among the nine others to have won the contest! We are going to Gotham in May!”

Everyone cheered at that, hugging each other and even going as far as carrying Marinette and Alya around, as it was their doing.

“America, here we come!” shouted Kim.

“You do realize that you will have to work extra hard on your English, right?” teased Max.

“Oh, shit.”

Everyone laughed at that, but it was agreed among themselves and their English teacher that they would all stay for an hour and a half after school to learn the language, up until their trip.

“I can’t wait to see Gotham’s heroes in action!” squealed Alya.

“Aren’t they vigilantes?” asked Mylène.

“Same thing!”

“Not quite, babe.” grinned Nino.

Even Lila was smiling with them, and it was huge progress in their book.

Marinette smiled, “We’ll be there for two weeks. The first week, we’ll be visiting around, and the second week will be dedicated to our internships. I will have to send a list of all our careers of interest to Mr. Wayne’s secretary, so they can organize who we will be shadowing. So, I’ll need you to send me those pieces of information this weekend, so I can send it on Monday, okay?”

“Roger that, boss.”

As Alya took her hand to skate with her around the rink, the baker’s daughter couldn’t help the huge smile on her lips. A year ago, there was a lot of tension in the class, and here they were, all laughing together and talking excitedly about the upcoming trip that their class president and deputy won them.

She could hear Rose talking excitedly about the things she wanted to see in Gotham. She watched as Kim challenged Alix on God knows what and laughed as Max stated that he had a two-percent chance of winning that bet. She smiled as Adrien, with them at an outing for once, fell on his butt and Nino laughed as he helped him up. She even grinned as she watched Lila having a conversation with Nathaniel without being mean or mocking him once.

She had thought a year before that Lila would never change, but she was wrong. And she was happy that she had been, because even though Lila wasn’t very nice, well, all her classmates were kind enough to make up for it.

Yeah, Marinette thought with a smile, life was good. And she had a feeling that it would be even better.

Tag list:

@bigpicklebananatree @animegirlweeb @crazylittlemunchkin @northernbluetongue @cutechip @justafanwarrior @iloontjeboontje @resignedcatservant

#ml x dc #miraculous x dc #maribat #daminette #maridami #damian x marinette

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rachelkaser · 4 years ago

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Stay Golden Sunday: Adult Education

Blanche is sexually harassed by one of her college professors. The other Girls try to get tickets to a Frank Sinatra concert.

Picture It...

Dorothy is on the phone, trying to get tickets to an upcoming Frank Sinatra concert. She’s almost seen him in concert multiple times and doesn’t want to miss another chance. Blanche enters, upset because she’s failed her psychology midterm. If she fails the course, she won’t get the secondary degree she needs for a promotion. Meanwhile, Dorothy is furious that the concert has already sold out. She, Rose, and Sophia discuss alternate ways of getting tickets, with Sophia promising that she’s “got connections.”

Rose tries to help Blanche study, but it’s obvious Blanche isn’t concentrating. Dorothy comes home, saying she tried ticket brokers, but the only way she’s going to get tickets is to go to a scalper, which she plans to do over Rose’s objections. Blanche tries to head out of the house to go to a bar, but the other Girls tell her to keep studying. Blanche says she’s just not getting the material. Dorothy encourages her to talk to her teacher -- she did it when she was a kid with a speech impediment, and her teacher helped her.

ROSE: Whatever happened to your teacher, Mrs. Lenoff? DOROTHY: Oh gosh, last I heard she retired from teaching, opened a bed and breakfast someplace in Wode Island...…..Rhode Island.

After one of her classes, Blanche approaches Professor Cooper and tries to talk to him about the problems she’s been having. He tells her she’s the only student who failed the midterm and she’ll need an A to even pass the class. She asks if there’s anything she can do to make it up, and he starts to imply she’ll have to do some “hard work.” She says she’ll do whatever she has to, and he gives her his home phone number, and tells her to “use it” if she wants her A while caressing her hand. Blanche picks up on his meaning and is horrified.

Dorothy comes home to Rose and Sophia, and tells them she balked during her deal with the scalper, so now she’s not sure what else to do to get tickets. Sophia thinks she shouldn’t have chickened out. Rose tries to reason that maybe they just aren’t meant to go. Dorothy, on the other hand, is determined to finally see Sinatra in concert.

ROSE: Here we are, Sophia. The perfect after-dinner treat: A nice dish of Jell-O. SOPHIA: I hate Jell-O. If God wanted peaches suspended in midair, He would have filled them with helium.

Blanche comes home and tells the other Girls what happened. Rose and Dorothy are furious on her behalf (Sophia is indifferent), and encourage her to report him for sexual harassment. Blanche didn’t outright refuse him, because she’s not sure if she can pass the course, but they tell her she’ll feel terrible about herself if she gives in. They relate their own stories of sexual harassment: Dorothy was harassed by the principal at her first teaching job (while he was in a corset and high heels), and Rose was harassed by a soda jerk who arranged her sundaes in an obscene way.

Blanche visits the Dean of the school, and he’s swamped, having just started the job. He initially tries to brush her off, not wanting to deal with such a big problem as sexual harassment, but she shames him into taking a report. She describes to him what happened, and he’s aghast, but when she tells him there were no witnesses, he becomes cagey. He says he can’t do anything because it’s just Blanche’s word against Professor Cooper’s, and has the audacity to say, “A man’s career is at stake!” Blanche points out that hers is too, but Dean Tucker dismisses her from the office.

DOROTHY: *regarding Sophia’s tickets* Ma, how in the world did you get these? SOPHIA: Easy -- I called Frank. I told you I had connections. ROSE: You know Frank Sinatra?! SOPHIA: No, Frank Caravicci, from the fish market. He’s always been good to me, never a bad piece of cod. He knows Frank. BLANCHE: Sinatra? SOPHIA: No, Frank Tortoni, the dry cleaner. Tina’s third cousin once removed. DOROTHY: Tina Tortoni? SOPHIA: Tina Sinatra!

When Blanche returns home, Rose immediately starts in with her own story -- she was listening to a contest on the radio, and managed to win tickets to the Sinatra concert. Blanche starts to tell her story, but Dorothy interrupts to say she managed to buy tickets for the concert from a scalper (after convincing the person who was going to buy them that she had three weeks to live). Just when Blanche gets their attention again, Sophia walks in and reveals she got tickets too -- prime tickets in the third row, thanks to her aforementioned connections. Blanche finally snaps and says she’s going to handle this herself and goes to study her butt off.

During her final exam, Blanche stays right up to the end. Professor Cooper not-so-subtly hints that she might have to retake the course as she hands her exam in. She tells him that’s not going to happen and he initially thinks she’s taking him up on his offer. She instead lays him out, telling him she decided to get an A on the final in part to spite him for treating her that way -- and she did. I can’t really capture how good this moment is; see it for yourself:

youtube

Later that night, the other three Girls come home to worried Blanche at 2 am. Turns out Dorothy tried to scalp their seven extra tickets to an undercover police officer. So Dorothy once again missed her chance to see Sinatra. Blanche tells the other Girls she told off her Professor, but unfortunately the promotion for which she got the degree has already been taken by a woman who got a tummy tuck and a butt lift. But, as Blanche says the line that takes us into the analysis section:

“Some day her butt will turn to mush, but I’ll always have my degree!”

Sometimes a Golden Girls Very Special Episode hits you over the head with its Very Special-ness using dramatic music or tear-jerking lines. See, for example, the episode about the break-in. Sometimes a VSE sneaks up on you, cloaking itself in gags and jokes, only to reveal a shockingly relevant message at its core. In this case, the topic is sexual harassment, and the message is that women should push back against that kind of behavior in whatever way they can. It’s a little simplistic, but it gets the job done.

ROSE: At least you’re doing well in your other two courses. BLANCHE: But those are art course. They come easier to me. I’ve always had a great appreciation for arts and... artists. SOPHIA: And carpenters and mechanics, and delivery boys.

Out of all the episodes I’ve thus far reviewed of Golden Girls, it depresses me that this one’s core concept is still so pertinent in the times we’re living. In this, the age of #MeToo, it’s more important now than ever. Everything Blanche goes through here can (and does) happen today, in almost exactly the same way it happens here. It would almost be upsetting to watch, if Blanche weren’t such a badass about the situation -- and hell, even then it’s hard to stomach parts of the episode. Hell, just look at Blanche’s expression in the image at the top of this post, when Professor Cooper gropes her hand after making her his scuzzy offer.

I mean, look at what happens to Blanche in this episode: She’s demeaned by her professor, the person who’s supposed to be helping her, and told she’ll have to sleep with him if she wants to pass the course and get the degree she wants. He even prefaces his offer with, “If you really want that degree,” which just reeks of the same kind of manipulative bullshit I and many others have heard from harassers. Then, when she tries to report him through official channels, she’s dismissed by another man who has the absolute temerity to say he can’t take her word for it because, “A man’s career is at stake!” In what’s perhaps the most progressive moment of the episode, Blanche stands up and retorts, “Well so is mine! Not to mention my dignity!”

ROSE: Look, if the tickets are that hard to get, maybe we just weren’t meant to go. DOROTHY: Maybe you weren’t, Rose. But two weeks from now, I intend to be sitting in front of Old Blue Eyes himself. Live, in-person, middle-aged spread and all. ROSE: Dorothy, you can take off a few pounds by then if you put your mind to it.

In a way, I’m glad the writers had Blanche consider the offer, however briefly. That’s the devil of it when it comes to harassment like this: One party is in power over the other, and manipulating the vulnerability that the lack of power gives them, and because of that the victim might think it’s easier or less confrontational to just go along with it. Blanche, in this case, is on the verge of failing and losing her degree and a chance at a promotion -- she even tells him this, which is unfortunate given his malicious intent -- and so he has the power to both really help and (this is the important part) really hurt her depending on how she responds. And it’s crucial that this vulnerability and the effects of this kind of manipulation be recognized, because -- and I think this needs to be stressed -- even if Blanche had agreed, she would still be a victim.

I am ridiculously proud of Blanche for choosing to get back at her professor by taking the test and keeping her nose clean. I’m pretty sure that, if he tried to ding her score so she didn’t get an A, she could file an appeal and get the test reviewed, and her professor could be then be censured if he graded her unfairly. At least, I’m assuming that’s how it works within the show’s logic, and that’s why she can tell him off without it affecting her grade. We don’t get much resolution, or see the professor get his comeuppance, but sadly that, too, is realistic. I choose to hope for the best outcome.

ROSE: My life will be ruined if this ever gets home to St. Olaf. DOROTHY: What’ll they do, Rose? Revoke your ice fishing license? Take back your helmet with the horns?

That’s not to say this episode is completely above-board with the way it handles the topic, at least not by today’s standards. Some of the ways they try to inject humor into the situation don’t feel especially natural and are even insensitive. Dorothy’s principal wearing a corset and high heels while harassing her is alright, as jokes go. Rose’s story about Nils, the soda jerk who harassed her via ice cream scoops (side note: not “attempted to” harass her, did harass her; important distinction) is very funny, but Blanche bringing it up later just to mess with her felt more than a little mean.

Also, I’m not crazy about the fact that Blanche’s storyline culminates in her losing her promotion to the unseen Sally Folgeson. I don’t want to sound like I’m reaching, but I think the implication is that the museum director promoted Sally because the tummy tuck and butt lift made her more attractive -- meaning, Sally is using her body to get ahead, the same thing the Girls encouraged Blanche not to do. I’m glad Blanche is cool with it, but it kind of punctures the message a bit, doesn’t it? Also, shame on that museum director, because YUCK. If that’s what it takes to get ahead at that museum, then I don’t think Blanche would have wanted the promotion in the first place.

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Probably the most troubling part of the episode to me is that Rose and Dorothy are more helpful and attentive to Blanche when she’s neglecting her studies than they are after she’s been sexually harassed by her professor. I know that’s part of the comedy, but I’m honestly a little offended that they’re so wrapped up in a Frank Sinatra concert that they can’t even be bothered to make sure Blanche is okay after her test. And this is coming from someone who would absolutely hock an organ to go back in time and hear Sinatra live.

Speaking of the B-plot, this episode is very well-balanced, with Rose, Dorothy, and Sophia getting roughly equal screen-time while Blanche handles the A-plot. I love that they’re getting better at this, because it makes for a better episode overall when one character (usually Sophia) isn’t getting reduced down to a handful of lines. They even give Sophia an extra bit where she’s cleaning out her purse and makes a few cracks at Rose on, including the immortal line:

ROSE: Did all that stuff come out of your purse? SOPHIA: No, I was also cleaning out my ears. That’s where the Feenamint and the rain bonnet came from.

This culminates in the great scene where Blanche is trying to get a word in edgewise, only for all of her roommates to come in with their own triumphant stories about acquiring the precious tickets back-to-back. As annoyed as I am with them for not listening to Blanche, it’s an hilarious scene that brings the two plotlines together and lets everyone’s comedic talents shine through, culminating in Sophia explaining how many degrees she’s separated from the family of Frank Sinatra.

I do have a few nitpicks. First, there’s a continuity error in the first scene when Dorothy describes how she almost saw Sinatra when Stan bought her tickets: She says that in the divorce settlement, she got “the house and the kids” while Stan got the tickets. Given that Dorothy’s only been divorced from Stan for two years, her children would have been in their thirties at the time of their divorce, so Dorothy wouldn’t be getting custody of them. It’s never made clear when Dorothy moved to Florida, but I presume she had to sell the house she got in the divorce at some point in order to move in with the other Girls.

ROSE: Oh, you can’t buy from a scalper. That’s a crime! DOROTHY: Well, so is eating grapes at the supermarket, but you do that all the time. ROSE: I have to test them. DOROTHY: Rose, one is testing. Fourteen is brunch.

A little historical housekeeping, as well: Vikings didn’t actually have horned helmets and, to my knowledge, they’re not called “Longenhödden.” Though, fun fact: I went back and scoured transcripts for the show up to this point, and this is the first time we hear that Rose’s hometown is called St. Olaf. So mark this episode as the official debut of the Cradle of Idiocy itself: St. Olaf, Minnesota!

Episode rating: 🍰🍰🍰🍰 (four slices out of five)

Favorite part of the episode:

Blanche’s exasperation with Rose’s story is the best:

ROSE: I was driving down Biscayne Boulevard-- BLANCHE: No. No! NO! NO! Please, I cannot bear that again. *to Dorothy* She was listening to her car radio -- Big Band, not All Talk. There was a contest. Something about a little voice, a lucky number, and a dime in a door handle, then bim bam boom, she won the tickets! DOROTHY:...take a lesson, Rose. That’s how you tell a story.

#golden girls #stay golden #blanche devereaux #sophia petrillo #rose nylund #dorothy zbornak #stay golden sunday #s01e20 #adult education #picture it

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what-the-fuck-is-anime · 6 years ago

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So, I want to talk a little more about episode 23.

The fact that Midoriya’s half-assed public intervention for Todoroki went well-ish thus far or otherwise resulted in a really cool battle does not make it any less cruel. His actions, in my eyes, were harmful and maybe even malicious.

I went over my reasoning many times in prior posts regarding this episode. Midoriya was being, in short, a dick to someone who asked him for help in confidence and secrecy. That trust was betrayed in making his plight known to everyone instead of reaching out privately to people who could help, and it was made public in the context of telling a traumatized kid how inconvenient his trauma and coping mechanisms are to others. On TV. I know I mention the TV part a lot, but, these are kids. They are young. They live in a social media world, where people like you and me have access to watch and analyze videos over and over and over. We already know that people in the crowd can hear people from the field, at least to some extent, because we have had several examples of that already. There was that fetch game where they needed to talk to the crowd, there was someone who addressed the commentary box and was heard, the crowd was responding to Midoriya’s words in real time, the commentary box could clearly hear Todoroki’s father from the stand closest to the field meaning they could probably hear the field itself.

And even beyond that, the cameras were probably closer with microphones, and lip reading exists. So even if people in the stands might not be able to hear them now, which at least some of them clearly were, or even could not see their lips move consistently enough to make out what they were saying, a huge majority of the viewers were watching from home. Millions of them. And even in terms of being able to see faces, Todoroki mentioned being able to see his father’s face from the stands, and there are also giant screens showing close-ups of the field that may give the live audience an opportunity to read lips. Bags were allowed in, meaning that individual cameras may have been allowed in, giving an opportunity for people to combine super-zoom videos from multiple angles to decipher the conversations. Plus, this is a world of superpowers, there may very well be a culture surrounding lip reading or otherwise transcribing events by people who have Quirks that allow them to do so. This is one of the worst possible settings to discuss Todoroki’s left side, because not only is he very publicly having flashbacks, but however he responds will be forever recorded for the world to see. He did not ask to be grilled about his home life and coping mechanisms in the middle of this fight.

And once that information gets out to the public, there is no taking it back. Ever.

Todoroki had almost no power in his life, no power to stop the abuse, and he was hardly comfortable talking about it in the first place. He was hardly comfortable talking to other people at all. All Might drilled into Midoriya that media actions have consequence, and even accidentally bringing something up can harm someone forever. He made sure that was understood when they first met and began training. Midoriya has lived the past year or so knowing that some degree of paranoia and alertness is essential to protecting himself and everyone else’s secrets, which is especially important in a world with so many secret identities. Yet when it came to facing Todoroki on the battlefield, an event with an emphasis on how unprecedentedly large and internationally viewed it is, Midoriya gave himself permission to take control of Todoroki’s situation. He chose to confront him on a field that he could not escape, and humiliated him for the “selfishness” of his trauma and coping skills. Midoriya went on and on about how hard everyone else was trying and put international pressure on Todoroki to just abandon what he viewed as a way to keep himself safe from his father.

Todoroki had very few options in how to respond in this setting. He could not physically just walk away. He could disregard what Midoriya said and keep fighting, leaving people to speculate about what those words meant, and then give the crowd an opportunity to hate him even more for not giving in his all like everyone else. Midoriya made Todoroki into the crowd’s enemy with accusations of not taking it seriously, and the crowd already hated him to the point they refused to celebrate his last victory. This option sucks because Todoroki already struggles to make connections with others and already struggles with how much he is hated at home. He wanted to be a beloved hero, too, and being hated by the public is an awful start to that, especially when he has no supportive home to return to. This option results in everyone hating him. Midoriya said that Todoroki was being selfish by not using his full power, so whose words would more likely be considered? Those of the remarkable first place race kid who has had many miraculous stunts so far, or the words of the awkward overpowered and already hated kid who puts others in danger with his power? If Todoroki ignored Midoriya, it would have ended up with everyone siding with Midoriya, because not being able to respond to such a passionate accusation of being a selfish asshole is not a great look.

He could talk back, and explain how Midoriya knew nothing of his situation or otherwise defended trying to reject his father, but that would give everyone even MORE information about his home life. His father was watching, his mother was probably watching, his whole family was probably watching, and his dad could have gotten even angrier and more violent. Todoroki would have to acknowledge Midoriya’s words as truth, give more context to the crowd, and lay bare struggles that they have no business even knowing until Midoriya decided it should be everyone’s business. Todoroki is very clearly not appreciating the situation, and kept this a secret for one reason for another, as neither his teachers nor his classmates seemed to be aware of the situation. Even when he finally uses his left side, he weeps.

He could change the subject, but his mind was too occupied with the whole traumatic flashback bit to probably think of anything else to talk about, and he never was good at engaging in conversation with others to begin with, largely as a result from this trauma.

He could comment about how he knows Midoriya is somehow involved with All Might if he wanted to take a vengeful route, since Midoriya was betraying his trust, but evidently he has the sense to actually keep someone else’s secret.

The path he actually took was not necessarily entirely of his own will. He embraced his fire, he encouraged his ecstatic father, and it even resulted in people thinking his father was a good dad. Todoroki gave everyone an epic fight, and gave the viewers something cool to watch. But it sucked. Choosing his fire may have even been an act of self-defense against his father, because the other options would draw more attention to what Midoriya said. Giving everyone such a cool fight may have been in his mind a distraction from a predicament he was entirely forced into. He was crying when he did it, who knows the specifics of those tears?

There were no safe responses, and even the conversation was unsafe. They caused a string of traumatic flashbacks that he had to powerlessly experience in front of the world. He was already tired, he had just trusted this guy, he was having flashbacks non-stop, and he could not walk away or change the subject. Midoriya never should have said anything in this setting. The entire world gets to watch Todoroki experience this trauma as much as they want, Todoroki may become traumatized by the whole event, especially depending on his father’s actions when they get home. When everyone else in class probably is going to be analyzing the event for how to improve, Todoroki is going to have to sit there and suffer silently and rewatch himself be forcibly traumatized on TV and wonder if he did the right thing in a situation he never should have had to even consider. He may even be asked to explain what was going on as an example for the rest of the class, since he was the one who won that round. DVDs and Blu-Rays are probably going to be sold of the events. Merchandise of epic moments and prints of facial expressions and professional photos. Clips taken out of context and replayed on the news. Television might not be safe for Todoroki to just casually watch now. I have no idea how many Olympic commercials there are in Japan, but in America we have Olympic clips played in commercials, on the news, and at absolutely any time they become relevant. A lot of people bullied and abused offline try to seek out others online, so if Todoroki had an online life to try to escape, it will also probably be saturated with photos and analyses of him. Hell, assuming he used a fake name in such a situation, he may even encounter online friends speculating about him or posting pictures and videos of him. Comment sections are notoriously toxic, and people online can be very cruel. He is a teenager with virtually no support struggles to cope with his extreme abuse, and probably does not have the resources to cope with being mocked for his abuse either.

Regardless of whether or not everyone reacting to the battle realized that the conversation was about extreme abuse, Todoroki was clearly zoning out during the flashbacks. While the rest of his classmates might love to read about the first impressions they made on the world through with own performances, Todoroki’s most profound memories of the fight are largely the flashbacks from Midoriya’s words. Their fight had the biggest explosion in the event up until that point, so it would have been an especially iconic, shared, and analyzed segment compared to the other battles. Coming across criticisms regarding the flashbacks or even the abuse itself can cause massive lasting damage. Although any event and any battle is prone to being on the receiving end of cruelty, having traumatic experiences invalidated is extremely distressing, especially for a kid without a support system. Especially since he likely has a much smaller frame of reference for how others should treat him due to how isolated he is in terms of supportive and healthy relationships. And especially because he was not prepared to confront his abuse in the middle of the match. He was zoning out because he was having flashbacks, and criticism of that zoning out is indirect criticism of his trauma whether the people commenting realize it or not. Through the battle it was established that the son of the second most powerful hero in the world rejected his own father. That will probably not go over well considering how massive of an international fanbase he must have, which may lead to people hating and doubting Todoroki, calling him dramatic, or otherwise further invalidating his experiences. A lot of the crowd already disliked him. Reading into the internet’s reaction might make him more afraid and paranoid of his father if the majority opinion of Todoroki is negative, since it affects his father’s image and his ideals for his son becoming the perfect hero and an extension of himself. If the majority of the internet began to talk about the abuse, his father may become enraged from damage done to his own reputation. Online or offline, there is nowhere safe for him.

If Midoriya actually primarily cared about Todoroki insulting everyone else’s efforts, he would have confronted Todoroki immediately when the abuse was revealed to him and the challenge was given. If Midoriya really cared whether people were insulted in the first place, he would have actually asked whether they were. If he actually primarily cared about the abuse, he would have told All Might when they met in the hallway. If he actually cared the most about Todoroki, he would have waited until they were off of TV and helped him through it as a secret like it was supposed to be. If Todoroki did not want intend for it to be a secret, he probably would not have had the conversation with Midoriya in as remote a location as possible.

Midoriya claims to be arguing entirely for the sake of his wonderful supportive friends, but how of that is really true? His entire argument is that his classmates would be insulted by the situation even if they had the full story, because of how hard they are working, and how much not using a Quirk to the fullest extent is a disrespect to the event. The full situation being that Todoroki uses only half of his power to try to convince the second most powerful person in the world to stop hurting him. Saying that his entire class would be offended knowing that is making some pretty harsh judgments about their character. He says that they would care more about the sanctity of the event than physically protecting their friend from cruel abuse. Midoriya takes advantage of social power dynamics here, trying to place pressure on him that does not actually exist. Telling anyone that they do something because everyone else wants them to is usually not a great idea, especially with regards to how to handle trauma. It makes the traumatized person feel even more like an outsider, and with regards to abuse, feeling like everyone else has the power while he has none.

He goes on and on about how supportive his friends are and how much he loves his wonderful supportive friends, so why is it that he thinks they would be offended by their classmate trying to avoid being physically beaten on a regular basis by one of the strongest people in the world? Regardless of what they might think of the abuse, nobody has been upset so far about Todoroki. Nobody! And that is even without knowing why he only uses half of his power. Nobody cares. Nobody has ever said anything about it, even when some acknowledged that Todoroki was purposely only using his right side. Midoriya is projecting. He is saying, oh no, I am not the one upset here, but everyone else is. Trying to imply that he was not the one insulted, but everyone else is, so he has to put words in their mouths and protect their honor. There are, at the moment, only two people who both know the entirety of the situation and are insulted by it: Midoriya and Todoroki’s dad. Even fucking Bakugo, who knows the deal because he was secretly listening in, did not seem to be offended at fucking all. He also did not do anything about it, and that is pretty much expected of him at this point, but he very rarely tries to hide any anger, ever. Even though neither of them realized he was listening, it still goes to demonstrate that even the angriest person in the class was not bothered. Not to mention the fact that now that Midoriya went on and on about how Todoroki is insulting his classmates and their efforts, they have no idea what is going on. They have no idea why Midoriya is saying this. They can only assume that Todoroki is in one way or another doing this as a direct insult to them.

Todoroki does not know a lot about his classmates. He prefers to be alone and struggles with relationships and communication, probably partly because of the abuse he experiences at home. So when Midoriya says that his classmates would be angry with him, he is inclined to believe it, because Midoriya has spent so much more time around his classmates and is so much more liked by them. He knows them better. But he is lying through his teeth. And now Todoroki might hesitate to engage with them because Midoriya claimed they would be angry about his situation, and now they might even think Todoroki hates them because of how hard Midoriya insisted they were being insulted. Midoriya used his friends as weapons to convince Todoroki to do what he wanted, and turning them against him in the process while discouraging Todoroki from ever reaching out to them.

When it comes to people caring at all about the sanctity of the event or being respectful about it or whatever, Midoriya is making absolutely everything up. He is so full of shit to the brim. Nobody thus far really cares about the sanctity of the event or forcing people to use their Quirks to the full. Bakugo purposely mangled the pledge right at the start, embarrassed the entire school, disrespected his teammates and tried to fight on his own during the cavalry battle, and his classmates still sit near him and talk to him like a friend. The girls were tricked into wearing cheerleader uniforms and embarrassing themselves and nobody said anything. Mineta attached himself to someone else to make it to the finish line. The inventor girl tied up her opponent and used her battle to advertise her inventions and then forfeit and the only one upset was her opponent who got tied up.

In terms of not using a Quirk entirely being disrespectful somehow, that is horseshit too, because more people were upset about Shinso using his Quirk at all than Todoroki not using all of his. Shoji used his body to protect Mineta during the cavalry battle, and people were mad about it. People were angry with Bakugo for fighting too hard. The crowd refused to support Todoroki’s win because he was too strong. Nobody cares about what Midoriya claims everyone is offended about, because he is projecting. Midoriya insists that Todoroki’s actions are unfair to others even though those were his words and thoughts, exclusively.

And these are bold claims coming from the kid who is actively supported and personally tutored by the strongest man in the world, and also everyone else’s teacher. Is Midoriya’s own deal not more insulting to everyone else? He only started exercising when All Might told him to, and he only has a Quirk because of luck. He wanted to get in to UA through sheer force of will and almost nothing else. It was not even entirely his own power that won the fight with Shinso, it was everyone else’s power who had that Quirk before him. No matter how far Midoriya falls, All Might is absolutely dedicated to making him into a hero, so he never even has to worry about failing in school. The teacher is personally dedicated to ensuring his success. He basically has a guaranteed future. Plus, those aside, he has all the support in the world. He can go home and feel safe. His friends love him. He is individually encouraged by his idol.

Meanwhile, Todoroki is actively abused at home. He feels safe nowhere, nobody is protecting him. The entire world has failed him. His attempt to protect himself was to reject his left side in order to hopefully discourage his father from hurting him more. His father insists that this is a phase and that Todoroki has no will on his own, and the ongoing rejection of his left side is an attempt to prove to his father that he will not be controlled and that his will is stronger.

Even this character development, even this alleged progress on Todoroki’s part is not solely his. His father got to celebrate. He was overjoyed! His father was proven right, that this was a phase, and now he takes that as being told he successfully can overpower and manipulate his son. This may have been exactly the wrong decision, and Todoroki is probably going to regret it. His reward for “overcoming” his trauma is to go home and get hit harder. Todoroki failing to maintain his willpower regarding the rejection of his father encourages his father to disregard any future objections or rebellion, because evidently his resolve to not use his left side was a failure. That means Todoroki is not as stubborn as he claimed to be, and that his father has in his mind a better chance of manipulating him now. It would have been much safer to make the progress in using his left side in secret until he was strong enough to confidently protect himself from his father. Plus, Todoroki did not even need to use his left side. Midoriya had one, maybe two shots left before the battle was going to become a very slow fist fight with one person being almost entirely immobile. Todoroki could have just stalled a little bit, defrosted somewhat, then charged in on his completely battered and nearly immobile opponent and decked him in the face. As we saw, Todoroki is potentially even more ripped than Midoriya. Or, hell, just cover the field with ice and just slide him out of bounds. Midoriya had two legs left, and almost no use of his fingers. He could hardly fight back beyond that last hit, and Todoroki managed to avoid being impaled by his own ice being thrown back at him. At most, Todoroki would have to survive two more hits before an almost guaranteed win. Eventually the adrenaline would wear off too, making Midoriya succumb to his own injuries and extremely prone to a fist to the face. There was no reason to use his left side.

So who actually benefits from Todoroki using his left side? Easy. Midoriya and Todoroki’s dad. Midoriya gets to have a cool epic battle and prove himself to others. He gets to look like a big strong hero, and everyone thinks him encouraging Todoroki was an act of sportsmanship. Everyone is going to love that stunt, because nobody knows what he was actually talking about, and nobody may ever know because Midoriya insisted everyone would still be offended by it. Todoroki might now be afraid to reach out, because he was told how much he offended his classmates. Of course he would believe it, because people get upset no matter what he does. He was too strong in his last match, according to the crowd. Midoriya gets to show off to everyone how willing he is to fight the son of the #2 hero, and prove to himself just how far he has come. There is not even a huge reason for him to need to win beyond his own pride, because again, he is personally tutored by the #1 hero on the planet and has a job and a legacy secured for him no matter what he does anymore. Midoriya manipulated Todoroki using his friends as weapons to improve his own image, at the expense of Todoroki having to endure more abuse. It was worth it to him.

Midoriya went too far. I already went over his perceived importance of this event. Going up against Todoroki at his full power was mostly his own selfish desire, maybe just to show how far he had come from being Quirkless and to prove to the world that he can handle himself against a natural born powerhouse. It was not at all about anyone else’s feelings, not even the person he allegedly wanted to help, and entirely about what he wanted, and how he felt entitled to an epic battle. Midoriya was in complete control over someone’s secret, abused that control, exploited someone’s vulnerabilities with social pressure, and did irreparable damage to someone he claimed to want to help. He accused others of being offended when he was the only one offended, he accused Todoroki of being selfish, but in reality, Midoriya was the selfish one. Even though Todoroki used his left side, using his left side was not the root of his problems in the minds of anyone other than his father and Midoriya. Todoroki’s rejection of his left side was a defense mechanism to try and establish his own resolve and independence and to discourage his father from abusing and manipulating him more. The “progress” towards reclaiming his own power was forced upon him by someone who manipulated him with self-centered intentions after being trusted to keep his abuse a secret, in an extremely public setting that put him in even more danger of the abuse that made him reject it in the first place.

For Midoriya’s sake, I really hope the pain was clouding his judgment, because this is a real bad fucking look.

#mha #bnha #liveblog #ep23 #reflection #wtfia

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ice-cream-nekogirl · 6 years ago

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Emo and Proud (Shinsou Hitoshi X Reader)

Summary: You decide to give Shinsou some music therapy by encouraging him to sing along with you to vent out your stress and some deeper feelings are revealed.

Hehe one of my headcanons is that Shinsou is a big-time MCR fan, in a way like Misty Day is a fan of Stevie Nicks from American Horror Story :3

BTW SORRY FOR ANY OOC-NESS!!

Featuring: Our Favorite Purple Boy!

You sighed as you finished watching Aggretsuko for the 10th time on your phone.

It was such a cute show even with it’s 15 minute episode runtime. That poor little adorable red panda; you wondered if you would ever end up like that someday since you were going to be a pro-hero someday, and it wasn’t exactly a glamorous job for everyone.

If there’s one thing that show taught you, it’s that music is one of the most life-saving outlets to vent out your emotions. And boy was that true, because your music was pretty much one of your sanctuaries that let you feel and express yourself whenever you sang to yourself or just let all your old nostalgia come back to you in the comfort of your room.

But it was time to pull an Aggretsuko and use the power of music to relieve the stress you had been feeling after the Joint Training and training in general. You knew being a hero would be hard work, but damn, your teacher was starting to look more like a slave-driver at this point.

Thankfully, somehow everyone had managed to catch a break since nothing was really going on… yet at least. And to salvage this break, you secluded yourself from your friends, as much as you loved them, sometimes you needed some alone time.

So, you politely declined their invite to the arcade and stood behind in the dorms. Once you were sure that most of them were gone, you set up a TV you had brought since you couldn’t live without a large-enough television and for the movie nights for weekends.

You hooked it up to your phone and grabbed a brush to act as a makeshift microphone from your room and played up an old nostalgic song from the singer who rose up yet again. It’s a good thing nobody was here, because you were really rocking out and banging your head with the guitar solo. Not that you would have cared, but you didn’t care for some of the remarks you would get, especially from that jackass Bakugou or that snarky chick Jirou.

“Try to tell me what I shouldn’t do.You should know by now, I won’t listen to you. Walk around with my hands up in the air, ‘cause I don’t care… ‘Cause I’m alright, I’m fine! Just freak out let it go!”

Dancing a little bit and raising your fist, you sang as loud as you could and really let yourself cut loose, so much that you were oblivious to someone entering the room who had taken the time to pause and stare at you as you danced.

“I’m gonna live my life, I can’t ever run and hide I won’t compromise ‘cause I’ll never know. I’m gonna close my eyes, I can’t watch the time go by. I won’t keep it inside! Freak out let it go! Just freak out let it go!”

You were flailing your arms about, flipping your (H/L) hair as much as you could, shaking your butt as you pumped your fists to get back in tune with your inner Avril. The music was so loud you couldn’t hear the very quiet snickers coming from your audience.

“Gonna freak out let it go! Gonna freak out let it go!”

Banging your head as the final riff ended you threw your arms up vigorously, “WHOO!” You shouted, turning around with a big grin that dramatically and comically fell as soon as you saw the person you had no idea had been watching you just about the whole time…

“OH GOD! H-Hitoshi!!”

Wild purple hair and all, beautiful, tired purple eyes gleaming with such amusement as his lips were lined with a smirk. He slowly brought his hands up to give you a deliberately slow clap.

“Impressive…” Shinsou finally spoke up, his tone sounding casual and low-key as possible but you knew that this was clearly extremely amusing to him as your face involuntarily grew hot.

“How much of that did you hear… and see…?” You shouldn’t have asked that, but you were curious.

“Everything from ‘Try to tell me what I shouldn’t do’.” He answered you and you sighed a bit, shrugging your shoulders with your hands up in defeat.

“I didn’t think anyone else would be here… sometimes you just need time to yourself ya know?” Sighing, you almost felt embarrassed. Shinsou wasn’t even in your class at the beginning and yet you befriended him during the Sports Festival a LOT quicker than you did your own classmates. It all started when you asked for him to be on your team, which shocked the hell out of him since he didn’t even have to brainwash you like he did Ojiro and Aoyama. And from then, you two just clicked and stood in touch.

“I know. That’s why I didn’t go with the rest of the others.” He agreed with your sentiment, which made you actually kind of happy.

Shinsou was a complete introvert, and yet you managed to get through to him due to similar interests in music, especially when you discussed how the two of you were ‘permanently stuck in your emo phases’. And then you knew about his fondness for cats, which you found extremely adorable since you had a soft spot for cats yourself.

Finally, there was your quirks, and you knew all about the prejudice he got from people simply because his Brainwashing quirk gave him the ability to control people. You had gotten somewhat similar flak for your quirk since your quirk also allowed you to control people, except you had control over their bodies and not their minds.

Emo birds of a feather gloomed and listened to MCR together.

The more you two talked, the closer you became. Which is why you were overjoyed when he started training with Aizawa and finally got into the Hero Course with you and your friends.

But the problem was… now that you were closer to him, you had fallen almost hopelessly in love with him. And now you just embarrassed yourself in front of him even though the plan was to have some time for yourself. However, because you liked Shinsou so much, it was always okay for him to be around you; you could relate to him and you never wanted him to feel like he couldn’t be around you.

“Well hey. We can be alone together… you’re one of the very few people who don’t annoy me. And EVERYONE annoys me.” You smiled at him, and he couldn’t help but smile back at you.

“I can say the exact same thing about you.” Shinsou said as he took a seat on the couch, sighing heavily as you frowned a bit and went over to him. He’d been working extra hard since Aizawa took him under his wing, you were sure that he must have been exhausted.

“Dude you need to relax…” You said, setting your brush down and placing your hands on his shoulders that made him freeze ever so slightly from the unexpected touch. But he wouldn’t ever make himself appear flustered in front of you so he kept his cool.

“It’s not easy to relax when you’re constantly working… even on break-days like these…” He muttered a bit as you started to massage his shoulders a bit.

“Yeah but you can still try! You work too hard man… Aizawa’s really been kicking your ass ever since he took you up… I mean yeah it’s awesome that you’re with us now but you need a goddamn break dude…” You said gently despite your language, digging into his shoulder blades as he grunted a bit but then sighed quietly in content with how good your fingers felt on his sore muscles. Muscles he’d been growing ever since he started training that is…

“I might just sleep or something… that’s a smart way to take a break.” He said, but you immediately shut that idea down.

“Ugh, you’re training WITH Aizawa, not training to BE Aizawa, Hitoshi. Sleeping is great, but you know what else is great? Singing~.” You sang that to get your point across but that just served to irk the purple-haired boy even as he let out a small groan when you got another sore spot that helped him ease up a little bit.

He sighed again, “I don’t sing… I’m probably not even good at it…”

“I’m not good at it but I still do it! You ain’t gotta be good at singing to do it, it’s just fun! Plus you get to vent out everything in the lyrics of awesome songs! Avril Lavigne, Evanescence, Good Charlotte, Three Days Grace, Simple Plan, My Chemical Romance!” You exclaimed and listed out some of the many singers that you enjoyed during your emo phase and STILL enjoyed.

Shinsou didn’t flinch, but hearing those names nearly made him perk up since he DID like all of those groups and singers. Especially My Chemical Romance…

“I mean those guys defined our childhood and shaped up the emo phase that we grew up with and loved because we just didn’t give a fuck about anything and just sang the loser anthems that spoke of our existences at the time… It was a time to be alive because it allowed us to say ‘I am emo and I am proud’.” You somewhat dramatically explained and Shinsou gave you a look when you stopped massaging his shoulders and started talking nonsense.

“It’s who we are Hitoshi! We have all these feelings that we need to vent out! And remind people of the times we grew up in! Say it with me! I am emo and I am proud!” You threw your fist in the air, and naturally Shinsou didn’t follow you as he just stared at you.

”Did you watch Aggretsuko again?” He knew you loved singing, but he had a feeling that one of your favorite modern cartoons had something to do with this little idea of ours.

“Yes… yes I have…” You replied to him rather nonchalantly.

“You watch way too much cartoons…” He shook his head, trying his hardest to not smile or snicker at how stupid you sounded.

“Cartoons also defined my childhood because sometimes you needed a break from your emo phase bro… but my point is… just try it. I sang my heart out to Avril and I already feel a ton better! Aggretsuko teaches that and it’s an excellent lesson!’” You threw your hands up cheerfully, but Shinsou just stared at you with his deadpan look.

“Okay, you must have me confused with someone who does embarrassing things without a care in the world.” He snarked, trying to not show that this kinda thing made him feel a little… nervous. Especially with you here. He wasn’t ready to embarrass himself in front of you, not after you had to watch him lose to Midoriya in the Sports Fest.

And he nearly jumped when you suddenly put your arm around him. “Tosh… it’s ME. You know I’d never judge you. I mean you don’t have to… but I’m sure you’d be awesome at it… you’ve sung a few of your emo phase songs to yourself with the door closed whenever you got in one of those ‘fuck the world’ moods haven’t you?” You softly reassured him, giving him a choice even as you asked him a question.

Shinsou willed himself to not blush with how close you were and how you touched him like that, instead focusing on your words as he looked somewhat defeated. “Yes…”

He gave a heavy sigh. As much as he didn’t entirely want to, he couldn’t say no to you, especially when you were trying to just help him relax. Shinsou would only EVER sing for you.

“Okay… I’ll do one. But you’re not allowed to laugh.” Shinsou finally and reluctantly complied and you practically screamed from joy.

“YES!!! Let’s get out Emo on!” You hugged him suddenly , doing a bit of a dance when you finally got your wallflower friend to try this out with you.

So you gladly grabbed your phone to start looking up a selection of songs, as Shinsou sighed again, unable to believe that he was actually doing this. Well, he trusted you, and generally had fun whenever he did things with you. And although you were more energetic than he was at times, he didn’t mind. He enjoyed that you had more zest than he did.

“All right! Here’s one! Take it Toshi!” You suddenly tossed him your hairbrush, and he quickly caught it, giving you a look afterward.

“(Y/N)…” Shinsou was beginning to feel a bit of nerves even though he shouldn’t have, but it got worse when he saw the song you chose.

This was one of his FAVORITE songs.

“No I can’t… I can’t do Gerard any justice…” He muttered a bit self-consciously, but you just shook your head.

“Yes you can! No one’s a bigger fan of Gerard than you are! Now go on! I’m with ya Toshi!” You smiled wide at him to ease him up, and you took the floor when the song immediately started up

“Long ago, just like the hearse, you die to get in again… we are so far from you…”

Deliberately, you whispered that last part to imitate how the song went, and looked right at Shinsou to cue him to go next. He appeared unsure for a bit, until he took a quick breath.

“Burning on, just like a match you strike to incinerate… the lives of everyone you know! And what’s the worst you take from every heart you break… And like a blade you stain, well, I’ve been holding on tonight…!”

You nearly jumped as soon as THAT voice came out of Shinsou’s mouth. So much energy and passion as he became MUCH more expressive as he sang the song. His singing voice a lot louder and emotional than his speaking one, and yet there was something haunting and tortured about his voice too. It was beautiful…

However, Shinsou suddenly became more adorable in your eyes as he clutched the hairbrush close to him as he sung and and waved his arm about, as if to follow the way Gerard moved and sung in the music video.

As he sung, at that moment he remembered that you were here as soon as he saw your wide (E/C) eyes and agape mouth. You saw his cheeks beginning to redden as he nearly halted in the verse but you shook your head vigorously, wanting to encourage him to keep going!

“What’s the worst that I could say?”

“Things are better if I stay! So long and goodnight, So long and goodnight~!“

You jumped in, singing the first part before bringing your hairbrush over to Shinsou, and he gladly sang the rest along with you. Although you had to whoop when Shinsou got into it, running a hand through his wild hair and following Gerard’s every move from the video.

Crazy, passionate expression and everything and making the same hand gestures and you couldn’t help but dance just as wild as the dancers did and some air guitar, following Shinsou’s rhythm.

“Came a time when every star fall brought you to tears again… we are the very hurt you sold. And what’s the worst you take from every heart you break… And like a blade you stain, well, I’ve been holding on tonight…!”

“What’s the worst that I could say? Things are better if I stay! So long and goodnight, So long and goodnight~! Well, if you carry on this way, things are better if I stay… So long and goodnight, So long and goodnight…!”

Encouraged, by your enthusiasm, Shinsou got on his knees as he sung the chorus with the loudest voice you had ever heard from him. Although he stood back up a little dramatically when the last bridge came.

He took your hand gently, pulling you in closer as he continued to sing, in a softer, almost whispery voice.

“Can you hear me…?”

“Are you near me…?”

Shinsou looked you right in the eyes, purple eyes luring your (E/C) eyes in an almost intimate moment as your cheeks flushed pink. It felt like this was just for you, and Shinsou made sure of it as he gently pressed his forehead against yours. Silently telling you that this was for you, and that only you could see him bear his soul like this.

You quietly gasped, for a moment you nearly felt like you were in his control because of how his voice just captivated you. But feeling extremely relaxed and yet fluttery with joy as you giggled a bit. When he pulled away, you saw his own face become bashfully flushed as you grinned when he started to sing again.

“Can we pretend to leave and then…”

“We’ll meet again, when both our cars collide!”

While Shinsou sung, you followed his lead, widening your eyes dramatically and pretending to fall backwards like the girl in the video as the chorus came.

“What’s the worst that I could say? Things are better if I stay! So long and goodnight, So long and goodnight~! Well, if you carry on this way, things are better if I stay…So long and goodnight, So long and goodnight…!”

Feeling more invigorated than ever before, Shinsou sang the chorus a little louder, yet still on-key as put his hand over his heart and bore the rest of his soul out.

And when he finished the song, he promptly dropped your hairbrush and you threw both your hands up in the air. “WHOOOO!! That’s my Toshi!” You practically screamed, almost like a fangirl as you quickly threw yourself into him, hugging him tightly and jumping a little bit as Shinsou’s eyes grew slightly wide and he felt his face heating up a bit. He was confident during the song, but now his bashfulness came back.

“That was AWESOME! I didn’t even know you could sing!”

Shinsou really hated his pale skin sometimes, because now he couldn’t hide how much he was blushing from all of your praise.

“I don’t do it much… just in private… I don’t think I’m that good…” He normally wasn’t timid, but you were complimenting him so much and he wasn’t used to that kind of praise. He liked it a lot though, it just made him feel kind of nervous, and yet validated.

“Well you freakin’ ROCKED dude! You totally did Gerard justice!” You continued the compliments, adoring just how red Shinsou was turning as he rubbed the back of his neck and coyly grinned.

“You’re just saying that…” He mumbled a little bit, and for once he flinched when he felt lips pecking his already hot cheek as you giggled and blushed, shaking your head.

“Nope! I mean it… and… I mean it when I say this but… Hitoshi… I think… no… I know… I uh… I like you… not even that… I like-like you…” There you said it, you finally admitted your feelings for the guy. You were a little unsure, but that song and seeing him unleash the soul you fell in love with just brought out the rest of your feelings for him.

Shinsou was taken by surprise. Nothing fazed him that much, but for once he was taken aback, his purple eyes wide and his expression that one of surprise and disbelief. He’s NEVER had this happen to him before. No one’s ever like-liked him before.

“W-What?” He didn’t mean to stutter, but he couldn’t really help it.

“Hee-hee… I’m in love with you…” Giggling shyly, your cheeks began to darken, “Don’t make me say it again, my heart’s like, beating out of my chest…” You shyly said, and although Shinsou was still blushing, he started to smirk a little bit when he saw just how flushed you were. He knew you weren’t lying, but he was still amazed that SOMEONE actually like-liked him. And yet he was also overjoyed that someone he felt close to and actually liked, like-liked him. And if he was being honest, he like-liked you too.

“Well... I actually like-like you too... you’re the only person I think I completely trust.” He admitted, still giving you his little smile. Shinsou wasn’t lying, he’d never show anyone what a dork he could be, except for you. Because you were just as big an emo dork as he was. You were his dork, and he was your dork.

Your eyes went huge and you blushed heavily when he... reciprocated your feelings?! Was this for real? It had to be. Shinsou never lied to you, he layed jokes on you sometimes, but this wasn’t one of them...

“For real...?”

“Yes. You’re a complete dork. But... you’re my dork.” Shinsou finally admitted, it wouldn’t be a common thing, but he had to get that across to you just so you wouldn’t faint from how red you were. And he almost jumped when you screamed and hugged him again, very much like a fangirl almost.

“AHHHH! You know it! And you’re MY dork too!” You happily exclaimed, hugging him tightly as Shinsou sighed a little bit, but found it in him to hug you back with a little smile.

He’d never say it to anyone, but he loved his dork.

~~~Bonus Ending~~~

"We are not alone..." You suddenly perked up where you hugged Shinsou, and he sensed that too. Somebody else was around, and probably eavesdropping on the two of you. "I think I know who." He said lowly, albeit he wasn't entirely bothered; he wasn't happy, but he wasn't bothered either since this person was your friend.

"Ohhhh..." Giggling, you figured out who it was based on that alone. "Hey! Tokoyami! Come out dude I know you're hiding back there." You blatantly called him out, but of course Tokoyami himself didn't reply from the corner.

"No we're not!" Dark Shadow replied for him, and you could hear Tokoyami's annoyed, deep sigh.

"My apologies. It wasn't my intention to eavesdrop..." The crow-headed boy slowly came out of hiding as you waved to him, while Shinsou looked mildly annoyed, having assumed that you were his only audience.

"Oh really? Heh... let me guess... did you hear the song?" You raised a brow, as much as you could at least and Tokoyami looked downwards, almost as if he were a little embarrassed even though you knew he had the same tastes in music you and Shinsou did.

"Yes... I did. It was very impressive. Like Gerard Way was reawakened from his slumber." He somewhat dramatically said as you smiled wide and giggled, patting Shinsou on the back happily. "I know right?! See Tosh! You're AWESOME! And Tokoyami here is one of us! Let's let him hang with us!" You cheerfully suggested, which just annoyed Shinsou even more. However, Tokoyami was pretty harmless and didn't seem to have a thing for you. Even if he did, it was too late because you were his now.

"Okay. I don't see the harm." Shinsou shrugged his shoulders as you happily clapped your hands. "Ahaha! Tokoyami! Hope ya don't mind singing!" That made the similarly emo boy perk up ever so slightly. He didn't plan on singing...

"I'm not a singer." Tokoyami quickly replied. Much like Shinsou, he wasn't entirely willing to show off because he doubted his abilities, but you weren't going to let him feel so insecure as you started the next song.

"You will be!" You smirked, winking at Shinsou as you immediately started to sing the first lyrics. A song you knew no true emo like Tokoyami could ever resist.

"Oh, well imagine, as I'm pacing the pews in a church corridor and I can't help but to hear. No, I can't help but to hear an exchanging of words~."

You got into it and picked your head up as soon as you sang the first part, running a hand through hair as you sang in your hairbrush, not so subtly flirting with Shinsou as he couldn't help but smirk as you gave him your brush to let him take the next part.

"What a beautiful wedding! What a beautiful wedding, says a bridesmaid to a waiter, and, yes, but what a shame, what a shame the poor groom's bride is a whore."

Shinsou gladly sung, which surprised you a little bit because he was more comfortable when it was only you. And he was, but he knew that you and Tokoyami were just friends, even if the guy liked you it was too late. You were all his now. Still, he would let the fellow emo join in since he was very like-minded and wouldn't judge you both. However, you both just made him feel a little nervous, it didn't help when you gave him the hairbrush...

But Tokoyami knew this song by heart. Every lyric, every rhythm...

He couldn't help it.

"I chime in with a 'Haven't you people ever heard of closing the goddamn door?' No, it's much better to face these kinds of things with a sense of poise and rationality!”

Now you and Shinsou were shocked, both of your eyes growing wide when the ever-so-stoic, dark prince-y bird boy Tokoyami, of ALL people, actually singing with an almost uncharacteristic enthusiasm as he held onto the hairbrush you gave him and sung into it.

But you couldn't help but smile wide, glancing at Shinsou as he shrugged with a small smile. The bird was shocking pretty good too. Might as well join in.

"I chime in with a 'Haven't you people ever heard of closing the goddamn door?!' No, it's much better to face these kinds of things with a sense of... poise and rationality! Again..."

Following Tokoyami's lead, you and Shinsou acted as his back-up singers by singing the chorus with him and you provided the crazy dances as the three of you vigorously rocked out.

Emo and proud.

~~~Extra Bonus Ending~~~

Meanwhile downstairs...

"Man it sounds like they're having fun up there..." Kirishima and the rest of the 'Bakusquad' had returned to Heights Alliance early, and you had pretty much put your music on full blast once you hooked it up to the TV. And didn't count on anyone coming back so quick...

"I kinda wanna go up and join em!" Kaminari was getting into the music he was hearing through the walls. "YEAH! Let's go and party with those guys!" Mina would never say no to cutting lose and dancing to awesome music.

"I'm sure (Y/N) will let us. Most of us..." Sero shrugged his shoulders with his casual smile, having known you fairly well but he wasn't so sure you would let ALL of them hang out since you and Bakugou never really entirely got along.

"Amateurs..." Bakugou muttered under his breath as he marched upstairs to go to the floor you were occupying. You were being WAY too damn loud, but at that moment he decided he'd show you how a REAL singer sings My Chemical Romance.

SO LONG AND GOOD NIGHT TUMBLR!!!!

I own nothing :3

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biohackerblogger-blog · 5 years ago

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Biohacking and Science: A solution for most of your problems

In this article I’m going to be discussing biohacking—what it is and the different aspects of human biology an individual can improve (or “hack”, if you want to call it that) to optimise their life and cognition. In the next blog I’ll discuss the specific improvements I’ve made in my life and their scientific justifications—with an in-depth focus on nutrition, supplementation and cognitive-enhancement.

Biohacking as defined by merriam-webster is “biological experimentation done to improve the qualities or capabilities of living organisms especially by individuals and groups working outside a traditional medical or scientific research environment”.

While that sounds dramatic, the term could also be described as do-it-yourself biology—making small, incremental changes to your diet, habits and life to optimise your cognition and life expectancy. This hobby likely originated in Silicon Valley, a place popular in many trendy self improvement hacks: The keto diet, intermittent fasting and microdosing to name a few.

We are living in an era of excess. Western supermarkets are packed full of processed, sugary, fatty products that people cling to as comfort food. Social media and smartphones have been tweaked to be as addictive as possible. Even television has been replaced by on-demand streaming services that provide countless hours of mindless oblivion to addicted viewers—so much so that “binge-watching” is now a recognized term in many dictionaries. This combination and more has led to the shortening of the average attention span.

Coincidentally, it feels like every other person in recent generations seems to suffer from some form of ADHD, depression or other mental health issues.

Me, technically a part of generation z, am no exception.

I’ve been an underperformer most of my school career, with every parent-teacher meeting ending the same way: “Alexandru is a very bright boy but he doesn’t seem to be reaching his potential in class.”

I daydreamed, lost focus often and was often unmotivated when tackling complex tasks. My mom has practiced psychiatry for 2 decades and during my last year of high school I saw one of her colleagues who eventually diagnosed me with ADHD.

This shook me. I had believed that I was just a lazy person, not working hard enough but now this doctor was basically telling me that it wasn’t my fault; That I had a learning disability that would always put me at a disadvantage to other “functional” people.

As I made my way through university the same issues kept coming up over and over again and I started feeling hopeless. Medication seemed to act as a bandaid on the problem, working as intended inconsistently. Is this what the rest of my life was gonna be like?—Craving achievement while lacking the motivation to acquire it?

Nahhhh, I wasn’t going to let some abstract diagnosis prevent me from prospering in life.

Enter biohacking:

In my spare time at uni I began researching ways of “curing” my ADHD. The goal: Improving my attention, motivation and cognition anyway I could. I’m a scientist, so it only made sense to solve my problems with science. Little did I know I wasn’t so much as curing a disorder as I was just finding ways to optimise my life using scientific knowledge. I tried different lifestyle changes and recorded the positive benefits of each one—Basically running my own scientific experiments on a sample size of 1. Biohacking is basically tweaking your biology to improve your life.

Diet

As I mentioned before, supermarkets today are full of horrible, delicious processed food. It’s expensive eating healthy and it’s difficult to resist the allure of a greasy portion of chips. Regardless, I think a large percentage of the population seriously underestimate how much your diet impacts your day-to-day life as a human being. A heavily debated study found that judges tended to give harsher sentences just before lunch due to hunger (This study has argued about for years). If even people who practice being impartial for a living are at the mercy of their own biology—that means so are you.

Your body is a complex machine, requiring certain amounts of macronutrients (protein, carbs, fats) and micronutrients (vitamins, minerals) to carry out all of it’s processes efficiently. If any of these numbers are skewed, the machine won’t run smoothly. You can optimise your diet in a number of ways depending on your goals, but the FDA and similar organizations provide recommendations as to how much of each nutrient an average individual requires in a day.

Many of the micronutrients have important roles in our day-to-day lives which becomes apparent when we are deficient. Magnesium plays a huge role in good-quality sleep while vitamin D is important for healthy bones and mood. The world health organisation provides guidelines for what they consider a healthy diet which contains healthy doses of all these nutrients. Obviously, we’re human, not superhuman and we can’t always have a perfect diet all the time. There’s no shame in supplementing your diet artificially, just don't use pills as a replacement for healthy eating habits. Getting blood work done can help you identify which vitamins and minerals you're deficient to inform your dietary changes or supplement purchases.

If you're looking to improve cognition, omega-3 fatty acids are a well-researched staple supplement that is found in high quantities in fish. I could write a whole article on cognitive enhancement and supplements—so I’ll save it for the next one.

If weight loss is your goal maybe consider reading up on the science of the keto diet (a fat heavy diet that pushes metabolism into burning fat) or experimenting with alternative eating habits like intermittent fasting. Hell, I hear great things about going vegan nowadays and you’d be saving the environment while you’re at it.

Play around with it, optimise it for your goals and give supplements a try.

Exercise

The NHS recommends 75-150 minutes of exercise a week for the average individual. Obesity continues to be a huge issue in this country and others so more still needs to be done to encourage public fitness. It seems that many people make the mistake of thinking of exercise as a distraction from more important things like careers and making money, especially as they get older. They say they’re simply too busy and can’t find the time but in reality they’re decreasing their potential to excel in other aspects of their lives. There’s no point in making money if you’re too fat and achy to enjoy spending it.

Exercise is important. As Socrates eloquently puts it:

“No man has the right to be an amateur in the matter of physical training. It is a shame for a man to grow old without seeing the beauty and strength of which his body is capable.”

Deep.

Endorphins produced by exercise make us feel great, we sleep better, we have more energy, we are more engaged with our work—Not a whole lot of downsides. For men in particular weight training is a very well-researched method or raising testosterone levels. A hormone my generation seems to be in significant lack of but in need of due to its important properties. Testosterone has anxiolytic properties, lubricates social interactions and is involved in providing an array of physical health benefits too.

Exercise is free, there are no downsides and a plethora of benefits. It doesn’t so much matter what type of exercise you’re doing so much as you’re doing it on a regular basis. It will suck, especially if you’re not accustomed to regular exercise but once you make it a habit (takes around 21 days to make something a habit), you’ll stop thinking about it and it’ll happen automatically.

Biohacking sure sounds a lot like self-improvement eh?

Sleep

In today’s day and age a good night’s sleep has become a rare treat. It’s like taking a gamble every night and hoping you wake up rested. As a student studying in the UK, I feel like I’m probably the most qualified person to say that. Sleep is very important for humans as pretty much all of our physical processes are regulated to some extent by our biological clock. A clock set by our circadian rhythm (Aka sleep cycle). Small perturbations to our sleep can seriously knock our daily rhythm out of line. Memories are written into your long term memory, waste products are flushed from the brain and the body readies itself for the new day. Everyone is aware their performance drops after a poor night’s sleep.

Here are some things you can do:

Humans need to go through about 4-6 sleep cycles per night to function adequately.

Sleep cycle = 90 minutes +/- 5 * 90m = 7.5 hours

Try to wake up after sleeping a multiple of 90 minutes. If you wake up during the middle of a cycle you’re more likely to feel groggy. 6 hours, 7.5 or 9 hours between bed and wake are what you’re looking for.

Avoid blue light before bed. I’m sure you’ve already heard this one but blue light from screens inhibits sleep. Try a blue light filter on your laptop—Flux is the free one I use and recommend.

Avoiding caffeine, sugar and carbs before bed works wonders for your sleep. A magnesium supplement does too.

Going to bed and waking up at the same time consistently will make sleeping easy and soon your whole body will adjust itself to the routine. The human body loves routine.

Anything else worth mentioning

Yes, meditation is a big one. Specifically mindfulness. If you haven’t already been preached to on the internet about the numerous benefits of meditation, it seems to improve pretty much everything about people.—The ultimate meta-habit for improving all aspects of living. It shows promise in ameliorating depressive symptoms, anxiety, self-control and a lot more.

The mobile app headspace provides a great starting point and for those that want a challenge and want to try their hand at a monk’s life check out Vipassana meditation. Their free week-long retreats are a crash course in mindfulness with lifelong benefits. I tried one this summer and was convinced it was a cult for the first 3 days.

I’ve seen huge improvement in my life after I started applying science to fix my problems. I hope I’ve managed to give an effective overview of my experience in biohacking and given you some well-researched places to get started. If you have a biological background I think it’s a shame not to use that background to optimise your life in every way you can.

Thanks for reading,

Alex

P.S. here’s a short rant:

I think (not all, but a lot) of the recent diagnoses of ADHD and depression could be “cured” by not treating it as an isolated malady caused by some bad genes and poor luck—but as a culmination of lifestyle choices and habits that could be improved upon. Exercise and diet should be the FIRST CHOICE intervention when it comes to treating things like ADHD and depression.

I believe diet and exercise should always precede a chemical solution to these ailments. There are hundreds of supplements and activities that have proven psychological benefits that could hugely benefit humans. Thanks again.

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luci-in-trenchcoats · 6 years ago

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Smallville (Part 3) (Final)

Summary: Dean and the reader find out some information on the location of the stones but one Winchester isn’t being truthful...

Masterlist

Pairing: Football Coach!Dean x Teacher!reader

Word Count: 5,100ish

Warnings: language

A/N: This is heavily influenced by a recent binge watching of Smallville and the character Jason Teague. There will be some spoilers for Smallville season 4 but I won’t be following that storyline exactly so there’s still plenty of surprises!…

“Dean,” you said, grabbing his arm as you followed behind Clark in the caves he led you into. “He’s not going to kill us down here, right?”

“I can totally hear you, Ms. Y/L/N,” said Clark, looking back over his shoulder with a smile.

“Sorry. Just call me Y/N too. I hate that name,” you said, Clark shrugging before he came to a stop at a wall.

“Now where?” asked Dean. Clark put a hand on one of the walls and a gap appeared, a bright light behind it for a moment before he entered and returned, a small black stone in his hand.

“This is one of the stones. My friend Lex helped me find it. He doesn’t know I took it from him. I doubt he’ll be happy when he realizes it’s missing,” said Clark.

“Lex...Luthor?” you asked, Clark nodding. “Oh no.”

“You’re friends with a Luthor?” asked Dean. “They’re bad news. Worse than both our families combined.”

“Lex’s dad isn’t the greatest but Lex is a good guy,” said Clark. “Mostly.”

“So we have the three craziest families in the world going after three crazy stones that will give whoever has them enough power to get whatever they want,” said Dean. “Awesome.”

“I did just tell you I stole this from my friend Lex,” said Clark. “Even if he’s my friend, I know no one should have these stones.”

“What should we…” you said, Clark pulling his hand back when you went to touch it. “Trust is a two way street, Clark.”

“Then start trusting me,” he said. Dean sighed but didn’t say anything when Clark put the stone back in his pocket.

“So your plan is to get all of the stones and then hide them away where humans can’t get to them?” asked Dean.

“Pretty much,” said Clark.

“That’s a little naive,” said Dean. “Our parents have spent their entire lives looking for these things. They aren’t just going to stop.”

“Your father has one though and that only leaves one to search for,” said Clark.

“Going after both is very dangerous. We wouldn’t even know where to start looking for the one that’s still out there,” said Dean.

“It’s probably the safer option of the two, to start searching with your dad. You have to know where your dad has the other one,” you said, Dean shrugging.

“My guess is some secret room at the house but that would take some digging and I’m not exactly on the favorite son list at the moment,” said Dean.

“We could always play the part of happy couple to figure out where it is, then search for the other one and when the time’s right, sneak into the house and steal it,” you said.

“It’s too risky,” said Dean. “Clark, maybe you should just destroy the stone you have and then the other two are useless.”

“We both know this doesn’t end with the other stones out there,” you said. “You know I’m right.”

Dean was quiet, closing his eyes for a long moment.

“The stone that is missing. Maybe your dad has it,” said Dean. “And he’s in hot water with you. Maybe we use that, see if he has it and will fork it over.”

“Why do you think my father will be in any less of a killing mood than yours?” you asked.

“Your father is obsessed but...I think he loves you more than those stones,” said Dean.

“Uh, what should I do?” asked Clark.

“Put the stone back and hide it well. Wait for us to get the other ones,” you said.

“And rest up. Big game on Friday,” said Dean. “Run through the playbook again.”

“Is football really the priority right now?” asked Clark. Dean patted him on the back and gave him a smile.

“Of course. You’re the quarterback. Now scoot along and when we have news, we’ll bring it up. Otherwise, we don’t talk about this, understand?” asked Dean. Clark nodded and Dean followed him outside, waiting a minute before he sighed as Dean headed for his truck.

“You really want to go talk to my dad?” you asked Dean. “The man that tried to get me to kill you not that long ago.”

“I’d prefer not to go on account of that...but I will,” said Dean. “You sure as hell aren’t going in alone.”

“What, you want me to call him up and say I’m bringing my boyfriend you tried to kill over for dinner?” you asked.

“Exactly.”

One Week Later

“This is stupid,” you said, Dean nudging you to smile. The door opened after a moment, your father looking friendly enough. “Hi dad. You’ve met Dean before, hm?”

“Yes,” he said, holding out a hand for Dean. “Nice to see you again.”

“You mean the time your wife kidnapped me as a child?” asked Dean with a smile. You kicked his leg, your dad giving you a smile. “It’s nice to see you again sir.”

“Come in,” said your dad, certainly noticing when you stuck close to Dean. There was a brief flash of hurt on his face he hid away, quickly leading you away from the front hall and towards the dining room.

“Nice house,” said Dean, looking around.

“Not as big as the Winchester’s,” you teased, your father glancing back over his shoulder. You pressed your lips together, moving around Dean in the dining room over to the bar, picking a bottle of wine and pouring some in two glasses, taking a sip from each before you handed one to Dean.

“Do you honestly think I’d poison him?” asked your dad.

“The thought crossed my mind. It’s not like I love him or anything,” you said, taking a long gulp from your glass.

“I shouldn’t have bothered cooking then,” he said.

“Dad,” you said. “May I speak to you in the kitchen?”

He nodded, following you there, something burnt smelling coming from the oven.

“You actually tried to cook? You can’t cook,” you said, going to the oven and pulling out the charred mess. “What happened to Rocky?”

“He had the evening off. All the staff do. I figured you wouldn’t want anyone here besides the three of us,” he said. You put the dish on top of the stove, rubbing a hand through your hair.

“I don’t think you’ve cooked for me once in your life,” you said, turning around, leaning against the counter.

“It seemed like an important occasion,” he said. You laughed, shaking your head.

“You knew I loved him and you tried to make me hurt him by filling my head with lies,” you said. “That was low, even for you.”

“I know. It’s why I’m going to give you what you want, no fuss,” said your father, digging into his back pocket. He pulled out a cloth and unfolded it, revealing a silver block. “The stone is why you’re actually here, isn’t it?”

“I just want them gone. Dean and I just want the fighting and looking over our shoulders to stop,” you said.

“Do with it as you like but don’t forget, John Winchester did kill your mother,” he said, holding it carefully.

“She tried to kill Dean,” you said, your father stopping you from touching it.

“Your mother was kind. She changed after she touched the stone. It was like she wasn’t herself anymore. It did something to her, made her want to do that,” said your father. “You will never touch one of these. Ever. Understand?”

“Okay,” you said. You father nodded and set the stone on the counter.

“Dean. Would you join us for a moment?” called your father. Dean was surprised to see the stone resting on the counter but your father gave him the same warning you got and encouraged him to take it.

After a few long stares, Dean did, careful not to touch anything. Your father seemed lighter now that it was out of his hands, slowly giving Dean a nod. He decided on ordering takeout, Dean trying his best not to look at your father suspiciously.

“So, Dean,” said your dad during dinner. “You’re a football coach at Smallville?”

“Yeah. It’s a little weird being back in high school. Different now,” he said.

“I saw that if you win your next game, you’re in the championship,” said your dad.

“I didn’t know you were a football fan,” said Dean.

“Oh I’m not. But I should try to have an interest, right?” he asked.

“Sir, you don’t have to pretend for my sake or Y/N’s. She’s a big girl, she knows that you and I will never have the kind of relationship that she would like us to have. I think we’d all settle for just being civil,” said Dean.

“Giving up so easily?” he asked.

“Dad,” you said, staring across the table at him. “He has a point. Prove you can behave around each other before you start planning fishing trips together.”

“You fish?” you heard them both ask, a tiny smile on your face quickly washing away before either saw. Somehow they managed to spend the next hour discussing bait and tackle and a bunch of other crap you couldn’t keep up with. But the tension in the air was gone for a while and you knew that this was what you and Dean wanted in the first place. Normal lives with normal families.

“Dean and I should get going. He needs to get a full of night of sleep for tomorrow,” you said after a while, Dean giving you a smile.

“I hope this wasn’t just a one time thing,” said your dad as he stood up. You turned to Dean, smiling at him.

“Us too.”

The Next Day

“So...we only-“

“Dean! You’re in the championship game!” you said, finally bumping into him back at your apartment when he went home to change.

“Yeah, that’s awesome. I was thinking about the stones. We-“

“Forget about the stones for one day. You’re going to go celebrate tonight,” you said, giving him a hug.

“You’re right,” said Dean, smiling at you. “What do you want to do tonight?”

“I think you should probably go to the team’s party for a little while and then we can go out like we used to,” you said.

“You mean be romantic like Jason was. Not this screwed up version of Dean you never knew was there,” he said. You frowned, Dean holding up his hands.

“Dean is the most romantic man I’ve ever met. He left a flower in my class room earlier this week after all,” you said.

“I did do that, didn’t I?” he teased. “Plus I’m cute. You got it made, don’t you?”

“Go take a shower stinky boy. We have a date to go to.”

“Thanks for dinner,” you said, walking with Dean back to your apartment. He was at ease for most of the evening but you could feel the tension crawling back through him. Only you couldn’t figure out it was because the game next week or the stones.

“Do you think it’s fair that Clark plays when he’s like a superhuman?” asked Dean out of the blue.

“As long as he doesn’t use his powers. He seems like a regular kid that’s just good at football,” you said. “It’ll be a tough game but I know you can do it. Can you imagine winning a championship in your first year of coaching?”

“That’d be pretty impressive. Might even get colleges to look at me for a position. Maybe Metropolis,” said Dean. “One step at a time though, right?”

“Yup,” you said, Dean squeezing your hand. “What else?”

“Nothing. I just...I don’t know how I let you go in the first place,” said Dean.

“I’ll never leave and do that to you again. We’re better off together,” you said.

“Yeah. We definitely are.”

One week Later

You were running late to Dean’s game because of a class that ran over but hoped you would only end up missing the first quarter. You dumped your backpack off at home, grabbing your purse on the way out the door, something nagging at you though. You went back in the apartment, nodding your head when you saw the window in the bedroom cracked.

You shut it and spun around, nearly out the door again when you caught a face in the mirror by the door. You stared too long though and saw them move, a hand over your mouth by the time you were turned around.

“Y/N. You should not have come back in here.”

You woke up in a chair, more comfortable than you were expecting, arms tied to the rests, legs secured as the tape over your mouth was removed.

“I trust my man didn’t harm you,” said Mr. Winchester, curling up the tape into a ball, tossing it into a trash can.

“No, no. He’s icing his nuts at the moment though if I had to guess,” you said. He chuckled a little, giving you a smile. “You think kidnapping people out of their homes is funny?”

“No. But you’re not as afraid as I imagined you would be. You put on a brave face,” he said, holding a cloth in his hand. You swallowed as you recognized it, Mr. Winchester moving the cloth away to show the silver block you’d gotten from your father just a week ago. He dug out something from his pocket and put it next to the silver stone, a black piece jutting off the stone now. “Thank you. I’m only missing the one stone now and word is, Mr. Kent stole it from the Luthor’s.”

“I think you have some outdated information,” you lied, Mr. Winchester putting the stones back in his pocket.

“It comes straight from my son,” he said with a smile.

“Nice try,” you said.

“Doesn’t matter if you believe me or not,” he said. “Dean has been very helpful in finding this stone. There was a suspicion your father had it but access was an issue. Why do you think he got a job at the school you were working at?”

“It’s not going to work, this game you’re playing,” you said.

“How else would I have known you had the stone? Where you hid it? You and Dean magically falling back in love after two years? I didn’t believe it was possible but you truly are that naive,” he said.

“He didn’t-“

“Yes. He did. How else would I have known these things?” he asked. You frowned, staring at your lap. “I shouldn’t let you leave here alive. But you’re not a threat. You’ve proven that. You’re not your father’s attack dog any longer. I think the best course of action for you would be to finish your schooling and forget about all of this.”

“Dean wouldn’t…” you said.

“Dean? How do you know Dean is even his day real name? Maybe it’s actually Jason Teague. Maybe it’s something else altogether. You don’t know. You don’t know him. You never have,” he said.

You wanted to snap back, say something witty or hurtful but Dean had been obsessed with those stones from the start and you couldn’t help but wonder a little.

“You’ll be dropped off at your apartment. I’d advise you to move out. Tonight.”

“Y/N? You home?” called Dean as you zipped up your last bag. You shook your head and slung it over your shoulder, leaving the bedroom to see him standing by the front door. “Where were you? I called a million times. We won and...why do you have a bag?”

“I’m moving out, whatever your real name is,” you said. You tried to walk past him, Dean catching your arm, holding it up.

“You have bruises on your arms,” he said. “Why?”

“Don’t pretend like you care,” you said, Dean’s face softening.

“Did someone threaten you?” he asked, rubbing his hands up and down your arms gently.

“Your father. Someone was here and stole the stone. Your father has two and knows Clark has the third. I wonder how he found all that out,” you said.

“We’ll get them back. We’ll go get a new place and-“

“I am leaving. Without you,” you said.

“Y/N,” said Dean.

“Stop lying to me!” you shouted. You saw his face crack, Dean opening his mouth but no words coming out. “Dean.”

“I would never hurt you. Not over anything,” he said quietly. “Maybe the place is bugged. I don’t know. I don’t but I did not tell my father anything. I wouldn’t...dinner last week with your dad was nice and I want to have more of that and...sweetheart my name is Dean Winchester and I don’t know what the hell is happening but I love you. I always have. You are my family.”

You didn’t doubt that he loved you. You’d never doubted that. It was his loyalty to family and his father you thought was the problem. But he’d been protecting you from the moment he knew you were in danger.

“He said he’d kill me,” you said.

“I won’t let him,” said Dean, carefully pulling you into a hug. “This is ending once and for all.”

“He might hurt you,” you said.

“I don’t care. He doesn’t get to threaten my girl and tell her lies,” he said. You were both quiet for a few moments as you stood there, Dean calming down as you rubbed a hand up and down his back.

“You won the championship?” you asked, Dean nodding. “Sorry I missed it.”

“It’s okay. It’s just a game. There’ll be more,” said Dean. He leaned back to let you know it was alright, closing his eyes before he pressed a kiss to your forehead. “Give me five minutes to pack a bag.”

“Where are we going?” you asked.

“To see your dad.”

“Dad! Stop!” you said, tugging on his arm when he shoved Dean up against the back of the front door, grabbing his throat. “Dean didn’t hurt me.”

“His father did,” said your dad, Dean resisting the urge to fight back.

“Dean brought me here so I’d be safe,” you said. “Even though he knew there was a good chance you wouldn’t believe him or me and yet he’s not even doing anything to try and hit back so just let him go.”

“I gave you the stone so you could put an end to this, not harm my daughter,” he said.

“I’m trying...protect…” grunted Dean, his cheeks beginning to flush.

“Let him go. Now,” you said. Your father paused a moment but released Dean, Dean collapsing to his knees and a hand going to his throat. You moved in to help him to his feet but your father grabbed his shirt collar and started to drag him along after him. “Dad!”

“S’okay, Y/N,” said Dean. “We’re just going to talk.”

“Yeah. Talk,” he said, pulling Dean with him to his office, slamming the door shut in your face. You pounded on it for a good five minutes before it flung open, Dean sitting on the couch rubbing his neck. “Y/N. Please join us now.”

“Son of a bitch. You get pissed and turn around and hurt him? What the-”

“Your dad didn’t do anything to me, Y/N,” said Dean. “I swear. He wanted to know where my loyalties lie. Apparently I answered correctly.”

“Dean it seems is even angrier with his father than I am. The only person he is loyal to is you and that’s good enough for me,” said your dad.

“Touch him again without permission and you’ll find out exactly where my loyalties lie,” you said, narrowing your eyes at him. “It sure as hell ain’t with you.”

“He was trying to protect his daughter, Y/N,” said Dean. “He’s agreed to let us stay here for the night while we figure out what to do.”

“I say Dean and I go to the Winchesters and take back the stones,” he said.

“To which I said, my dad will kill yours on sight now that he has what he wants,” said Dean. “I have to go in alone.”

“No. You have to go in with Clark,” you said.

“Clark? The kid-”

“He’s a big strong kid that’s sort of an alien and if he gets the stones, he can put it with the other one and then they’re gone for good,” you said.

“Did you say alien?” asked your father. “That’s a tad ridiculous.”

“Says the guy that was chasing magic rocks all of his life,” you said, cocking your head.

“Point taken. Who is this Clark? A friend?” he asked.

“Quarterback. Hell of an arm,” said Dean, pulling out his phone. “Hopefully he’s not out partying and answers his phone.”

“Hey, Clark,” you said, answering the door when he arrived an hour later. “Did you bring it?”

“Yeah. What’s going on?” he asked.

“We’ll have the other two stones very soon,” you said. Clark nodded and stepped inside, your father rounding the corner with a smile.

“Mr. Kent. Nice to meet you. I’m Y/N’s father,” he said, Clark shaking his hand wearily. “Would you mind staying with my daughter? I need to step out with Dean.”

“I thought you weren’t going,” you said.

“I’m not letting the boy go alone,” he said.

“Thanks dad,” you said. “Clark, can I have it?”

“I’m sorry,” he said, shoving your father aside, knocking him out when he hit the wall.

“Dean!” you shouted, stepping back as you heard footsteps behind you.

“What…” said Dean, halting to a stop. “Clark, where are your parents?”

“Your dad took them. I have to-” said Clark, lifting his chin. He grabbed your arm, far stronger than any man you’d ever met before. There was no way in hell you were getting out. “I’m supposed to deliver Dean and the stone to your father and then I get my parents back.”

“If I don’t go with you, you’ll hurt Y/N?” asked Dean, Clark closing his eyes. “You’re a good kid, Clark. You’ve saved my life before. I’m pretty sure you’re super powered enough to make us do whatever you want.”

“I don’t want to do this. I have to,” said Clark.

“You came to us for help. Let us help,” you said, looking over your shoulder at Clark.

“I’ll go with you Clark, I will. But let’s work together,” said Dean, holding up his hands. “Please.”

“So...your dad is like a super dick,” you said, Clark leading both you and Dean down the hall of the Winchester home, stopping at a door.

“A super dick I’m about to have to beg not to kill you,” said Dean, closing his eyes as the door opened and Clark pushed you both inside.

“Mr. Kent,” said Dean’s father, holding his head up high. “The stone?”

Clark swallowed and dug into his pocket, tossing over a small drawstring bag. Dean’s father caught it and opened it up, examining it before putting it back.

“Your parents are in the lounge. You may leave with them now,” he said, waving Clark off.

“I’m sorry,” he said, stepping out of the room, the doors closing behind you, a pair of men coming in on either side of you and Dean, Dean sighing.

“Wow. Two kidnappings in one day. Must be getting sloppy old man,” said Dean, struggling somewhat but stopping when he realized it didn’t matter if he got free. You were still caught.

“I have the stones but I don’t have my son,” said Dean’s father, walking over to you. “Did you know Y/N’s ancestor vowed vengeance on the heirs of our ancestor? That’s you and me, Dean. See, if I have Y/N touch this stone, she won’t be Y/N anymore. She’ll actually try to kill you.”

“We know. Mr. Y/L/N was very informative,” said Dean, glancing at you. You gave Dean’s father a smile and cocked your head. “Y/N’s ancestor is sort of pissed that you tried to kill her great great great...it’s a whole bunch of great’s actually, great granddaughter. She touched the stone about ten minutes ago. She thought about killing you but Clark and I convinced her otherwise.”

“Convinced her of what,” said Dean’s father, the panic beginning to show on his face.

“This,” you said, waving your hand, everyone going flying across the room apart from Dean. “Get the stones.”

“Sorry about this honey. Remember it was your idea,” said Dean, right before he popped you in the face.

You woke up on the couch in the office, groaning as you sat up, Dean standing over his father who was in a nearby chair.

“Ow,” you said, Dean frowning at you. “I’m okay.”

“You did say to make sure I knocked you out so the witch chick didn’t have them,” said Dean with a wince. “No evil crazy ancestor in there anymore?”

“No,” you said, rubbing your head. “The stones?”

“Destroyed,” said Clark, nodding to you and Dean. His father sighed, your own bursting in the room.

“I swear I…” he said, pointing at Clark and then Dean’s father. “What the hell is going on?”

“Uh, my dad kidnapped Clark’s parents. Y/N and I made up a plan with Clark and pretended that Clark turned on us to get close to the other stones before we stole them back and now they’re all gone,” said Dean with a smile.

“Just what we wanted,” you said, Dean humming happily.

“You two are idiots,” said Dean’s father, Dean rolling his eyes behind him. “You think-”

“Goodbye, dad. You’ll never see me again,” said Dean, giving him a little salute. “Thanks for nothing.”

“Wait,” he said, Dean holding up a hand.

“See Y/N’s dad? He’s not perfect and yes, he tried to have me killed before too but that’s because you killed his wife. After talking to him, he was afraid I would kill his daughter. Do you get that? See, Mr. Y/L/N, while manipulative and a liar, does not kidnap his own child or threaten her or threaten her boyfriend. He talks to me and work things out like a grown man. Do I like him? No, not really. But his wife, Y/N’s mother, touched the stone and that’s what made her snap. You always knew that too. She wasn’t a bad person. They were normal people before that and you went and had her killed and started their whole family down this screwed up path. So now you can have nothing,” said Dean.

Dean’s father sat in silence, blinking a few times before Dean shook his head.

“Let’s go home, guys.”

One Week Later

“So...my dad called today,” you said, Dean humming from the kitchen table, mixing up your flashcards to help you study for a test. “He wanted to know if you would ever go fishing with him.”

“Maybe,” said Dean. “I’d like to try being normal for a little while before we go on trips together.”

“Have you heard from your dad at all?” you asked, Dean shaking his head. “Still thinking we should have called the cops?”

“No. I wouldn’t even know what to tell them,” he said, leaning back in his seat. “We’re safe. The stones are gone and you have your last day of student teaching next week to get ready for.”

“I can’t wait to graduate and be done with homework,” you said, Dean chuckling. “As a full time faculty member at the school…”

“I know nothing about the state of your application for a full time position there after winter break,” said Dean.

“You’re an awful liar,” you said.

“I’m not that bad,” he said. “I’ve been sworn to secrecy on account all the teachers know we’re a thing.”

“And?” you asked.

“There’s a short list,” said Dean with a shrug. “With only one name on it but a formal offer won’t be extended until next week.”

“You break so easily, Mr. Winchester,” you said, walking around the table and taking a seat in his lap.

“Only for you,” he said, handing over your flashcards. “Go study, young lady.”

“Fine,” you said, taking the cards. “I want a cuddle later on though.”

“Are you negotiating with me, Y/L/N?” he asked.

“Oh, it’s not a negotiation. You love cuddles more than I do,” you teased, bopping him on the nose. “You’re such a cutie pie.”

“I know, right?” he said, giving you a side hug as you went to stand. “How about we get out of town after you finish up with school? Go take a little trip to Europe, have some fun.”

“Sounds fantastic, Dean,” you said, kissing his cheek. “I can’t wait.”

#spn #supernatural #dean x reader #dean winchester #au #spn fanfiction #supernatural fanfiction #spn reader insert #dean x #au!dean #supernatural reader insert

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dailypositivequotes · 6 years ago

Text

Probably long rant

We’re moving this summer. I don’t have a job lined up yet, but I’m hoping.

But holy cow I am SO OVER this f*cking school.

I work too DAMN HARD both with making my lesson plans challenging but fun and implementing my students’ interests. And being there for them. (Which both of those are what I love doing, not complaining about that) TO BE FUCKING CRITICIZED FOR THE STUPIDEST SHIT.

What. The. Fuck.

So here’s the thing I don’t talk about.

ALL YEAR. ALL. FUCKINg. YEAR. i have been CONSTANTLY criticized by the office and a teacher next door. In emails. To my face. Behind my back.

But then when we’re in front of the principal or its an evaluation its nothing but “OMG DPQ you’re so amazing. I love x y z you did. You’re proficient in everything.”

And the constant criticisms are usually like... something I WAS TOLD TO DO. Like there is a kiddo who has anxiety disorder, so the office told me to place a chair outside of my room for her when she needs it. Sure, no problem she can center herself outside instead of panicking about people watching her in class if she were to sit inside at the safe seat. I do so. Then I get 3 emails from the teacher next door telling me to keep my kids in my room and not in the hall. And 4 emails from the very admin. who told me to let her outside asking me why I have a chair outside and am encouraging students to sit outside unattended. “This is a safety issue as she was unattended for an unknown amount of time.” Like 1st off I have a window in my door so I can see her easily while I’m teaching and 2nd off STUDENTS? more like STUDENT. and there’s no “encouraging” going on AND most importantly YOU FUCKING TOLD ME TO DO THIS WHAT THE HELL. I DIDN’T COME UP WITH THIS. So then I’m like sorry kiddo, the office has changed their policy, you gotta use the safe seat in the room not outside. She naturally melts down later on and the office sends an email asking why I didn’t let her leave the room to calm down in peace.

THIS HAS BEEN GOING ON ALL YEAR AND STILL IS HAPPENING

It is SO frustrating. SO FUCKING FRUSTRATING I AM IN TEARS. What am I supposed to do. I AM LISTENING TO YOUR ORDERS BUT YOU KEEP FLIPPING ON THEM. I AM NOT A GODDAMN MIND READER

Take Friday. Friday we had a lockdown due to a shooting in the community. It was at the end of the day. We would have gone to our lockers but the lockdown was then placed in effect. APPARENTLY the office called everyone (BUT ME) to tell them they could their kids to their lockers and back. *I* got a personal visit to my room reminding me to keep in my room. So then TWO minutes before bus dismissal happens they call the lockdown over. OUR lockers are across the school so I Told them we’re gonna have to walk quietly but very quickly to our lockers to get back before they call buses. We naturally were still at our lockers when buses were called.

GUESS who was emailed about how it was completely unacceptable to have a large amount of students in the hallway during dismissal and I need to make sure they have passes going to places (Uh yeah when we’re not traveling as a class I write passes every time) and not to allow a large group out of my room at a time.

I know if I tell them we were still at our lockers, they’re gonna tell me I shouldv’e gone sooner than 2 minutes before it. If I remind them they told me not to leave my room, they’re going to deny it because that’s what they ALWAYS do.

Additionally, ARE WE REALLY HAVING A DISCUSSION ABOUT HALLWAYS AT 3:30 ON A FRIDAY AFTER A LOCKDOWN? WTF? DON’T WE HAVE MORE TO CONCERN OURSELVES WITH. Like take for instance our students who are experiencing traumas (like my class for instance. Like the girl who moved. Or the boy whose still reeling from his dad purposefully drowning last year. this week one of my students revealed she was being molested at home and we had to call DCFS and everything. And that shooting on Friday? One of my studet’s cousin was the victim). Let’s focus our clearly excess energy on helping those kids instead of some of the pettiest shit.

Just gotta remind myself 40 days till summer. Then I hopefully will never see these people again.

If I didn’t care and like these kids so much (And if they didn’t need me) I probably would have quit way earlier in the year. But I’m sticking through it because I know it’s not that long till the end and I LIKE teaching and I like my classes.

I don’t talk about how frustrating it is because its not gonna change. I spoke to people earlier in the year about it (fellow teachers, my principal) and it didn’t improve. And I try to focus on the good parts of my job. But yeah. I had to let it all out.

They don’t know I’m not coming back next year either. My principal and I talked once about how we were thinking about moving, and she was really supportive and wrote a reference letter. But she hasn’t followed up and no one knows yet because they’re all like “Next year will better DPQ” sure it will. I won’t be here.

#swearing involved #tw: violence #tw: CSA

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queercode-my-minecraft · 6 years ago

Text

Perfection (has Flaws)

Words: 1517

Ships: platonic! Royality

Warnings: Deceit, sympathetic! Deceit, mute character (Logan), implied depression (?)

Notes: This is a birthday gift for the lovely @daring-elm, which is probably the sweetest person I know, and gosh- I love them so freaking much

Part 2 (this thing became long, on accident)

There were two types of mornings for Patton.

The first type of were impulsive, forgetting about sleep and rushing from the warmth of his bed to get ready as fast as he could muster, not sparing a thought to anything except the urgency of the day, of school, and losing some of the days energy. Those mornings were like jumping in freezing water.

The second type was when he woke up slowly, early or with the sound of the clock, it didn’t matter because he would need up gazing at the blurry roof on his head. Trying to find the strength to get up, to start preparing himself, even though it all seemed futile. Getting up was like an invisible obstacle that only he could see.

Those mornings were the worst, they were made of the quietness of the early mornings and the mental struggle Patton was facing.

When Patton woke up, he immediately knew which type of day that was going to be. The quiet knowledge that today was going to be particularly hard to maintain a smile, to persevere and continue being encouraging, seeped in him. Because, honestly, what was the point of it all?

He got distracted from his spiralling thoughts when the door of his room opened, revealing his mom, with bed hair and tired eyes, but carefully dressed.

“Darling, are you still in bed? Remember that today you need to take your sibling to school.”

Patton forced a smile on his face and nodded, using the excuse that his mom was observing him to put on his glasses and get out of the comfort of his bed.

“Thank you, sweetheart. Dee is already up and having breakfast, they’re waiting just for you.”

With his glasses on Patton noticed how elegant his mom was dressed and, as the two walked towards the kitchen, he asked: “Got another job interview?”

His mom smiled forcefully, a smile he only knew was forced because it was the same he often used. “I know you’ll do amazingly!”

The two sat at the table, where Dee had already finished their breakfast and was impatiently waiting for their brother. “So? When are we going? I can’t be late again!”

Patton simply smiled and finished his toast as quickly as he could muster, before retreating in his bedroom to quickly prepare himself.

God, he had forgotten about having to take Dee to school. Hopefully, he won’t be late himself.

When he returned their mom was already out, and the two siblings were left alone in the apartment. Although, they soon followed in suit.

Dee didn’t enjoy talking, especially during mornings, and Patton was too exhausted to think of any topic of interest to discuss with his younger sibling, which resulted in the two walking in silence.

They reached Dee’s school first, and Patton waved as they disappeared in the building. He resumed walking as cars and different vehicles passed. The silence that surrounded him was unlike the current state of his mind, all thoughts screamed and everything aiming futile.

He arrived at his school faster than he had thought and when he arrived to class he dropped in his seat next to his best friend, Roman Garcia, head resting in his arms in the desk and a soft groan escaping from him.

“Bad day, Heart of the Knight?” Asked Roman softly, as their teacher entered the room and began explaining, with bored tone, today’s lesson. The two knew they could give themselves an hour to ignore the teacher’s droning voice, since their friend, Logan, was probably already passionately taking notes.

Patton groaned once again, it was no use putting up a façade in front of Roman. He was an actor and was amazing at detecting when Patton was lying or feeling down. And was even better at wearing said lies.

Silence fell, as the teacher gazed towards their section of the room: “Morales, please, pay attention to the lesson and Garcia, stop fiddling with your pen and start taking notes.”

At that, Patton was left to lift his head, nevertheless, his eyes remained focused on the pencil in front of him, trying to ignore the heavy sensation that had built in his gut.

“Patt, want a hug?” Quietly asked Roman, and receiving a small nod from his friend, he placed a comforting arm around Patton. Not exactly a hug, but, for now it was enough.

“It’s going to be okay, Patton, I’m here, everything is going to be okay. Believe me, you’ve been through worse, and today is just going to be another obstacle you’ll manage to survive it fearlessly. I believe in you, everything’s okay.” Murmured Roman and Patton couldn’t stop the seeping sensation of becoming overwhelmed.

What did he do to do to deserve such an amazing and supportive friend? He didn’t deserve such kindness, what had he done for Roman, passionate and talented Roman, to think he deserved even an ounce of his attention?

The hour passed quickly, Patton trying to push down the tears and replacing them with a forced smile. However, as the bell rang, Patton darted away from the classroom, tears already prickling in his eyes, leaving a stunned Roman standing in the room.

Logan, silently, walked towards Roman, his eyes questioning. Roman nodded and answered:

“Bad day, I’m going to follow him.”

Logan signed another question: Am I going to see you next period?

Roman shrugged. “I don’t know, but could you and Virgil, please, take notes for the two of us?”

He smiled and signed back: Of course.

With that, Roman was left alone, searching for his best friend. The first place he searched was the bathroom, although he was stopped before by hearing quiet crying from a closed classroom. Tentatively, he opened the door, finding Patton abandoned in one of the last desks, tears rolling down his cheeks.

“Oh, Patt.”

He slowly walked towards him, trying not to scare him moving too abrouptly. When he sat next to him, Patton slithered his arms around his friend, hugging him closed and hiding his face in the other’s neck.

“I’m sorry, Ro. I’m so sorry, I’m just a mess and- I’m so sorry, you deserve so much more than me. You deserve someone who doesn’t cry or- or finds hard to get out of bed or whose constantly exhausted! Roman, I’m so exhausted I- I can barely do anything. You de-deserve someone-“

“Please, don’t finish that sentence.”

Patton dared to look at Roman, a silent question in his eyes.

“I deserve you, Patton. You’re not the mess you think you are, you might have difficulty getting up from bed or doing stuff, but you always do it smiling, you always think of others and put them before yourself, and although I wish you didn’t, that’s so damn admirable. You’re not a mess, you’re sweet and you always know how to help me and-“

Tears began welling in Roman’s eyes and Patton, with tears in his own eyes, he washed them away with the sleeve of his jumper. “It’s okay, Ro, there’s no need to cry-“

“But, there is! Because I care about you so much and you’re going through hell and I want to help you, because you deserve it. You deserve to feel loved and happy and- no matter what the voices in your head say, it’s true. You’re perfect, Patton, and you deserve the whole world.”

A watery giggle escaped from Patton’s lips.

“I’m not perfect, I have so many flaws and I’m not like you, who is incredibly talented and is so amazing. I’m just Patton.”

“Not perfect? Just Patton? Being perfect means having flaws and faults and still working towards bettering oneself, being the best version you could be. And you surely are! You’re perfect, always trying your best and making everyone smile, even though you’re battling the biggest manticore from the vile claws! You are perfect.”

Patton had to stop himself from adding that most people were annoyed by him, because he shouted too much and wasn’t the best at social interactions or whatever. So, he smiled shakily whispering a thank you basking in Roman’s attention.

“How about tonight you come at my house and we have a movie marathon? I know my parents would be fine if you came!"

“My mom today was busy so I might have to take Dee back home-” A sad look came on Roman’s face and Patton quickly added: “But, I can ask if I can come after!”

He quickly slipped his phone from his pocket and typed something to his mom, under Roman's excited gaze. Patton turned towards him a bright smile on his face, as he returned his phone to his pocket, and although he hated lying he said:

"My mom said yes! It's going to be amazing, with popcorn and everything!"

After sharing an excited smiles the two best friends had to return to class. However, as they walked towards the room, Patton couldn't stop feeling the weight of the lie and his phone in his pocket. The glaring message he had received from his mom a piercing response.

#roman sanders #logan sanders #patton sanders #platonic! royality #royality #deceit sanders #tw deceit #sympathetic! deceit #nonbinary! deceit #mute! logan

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limitededitionsanderssidesblog · 6 years ago

Text

Speech Impediment - Chapter 12

Ships: logicality, prinxiety, platonic dlamp

Summary: Virgil reveals a bit of his past to Dexter, just enough for him to understand his friends pain. Afterwards Dexter confronts his family.

AO3 - Here

Chapter One Previous Next

TW: past suicide, mentioned parent abandonment, chocking.

“Why didn’t they love me?!”

The night was already quiet around them, the only sound provided being the wind howling against the windows. The freezing temperatures outside began to seep into the vehicle as the heater had been turned off when Dexter removed the keys from the ignition. Virgil shuddered in his seat, most likely from more than just the cold. Dexter had to get them out of there and to a better location.

Getting out of the car, Dexter went around and opened the door for the other, helping him out and escorting him to the dorms. Asking where he wanted to go, Virgil murmured in a hoarse voice that he wanted to go to his dorm room, so Dexter took him there. The room was empty, Roman still being at work, and shy of any warmth. So it wasn’t too much better than where they had been previously. The building didn’t have heaters, meaning that the students had to buy them themselves. Helping him to sit down on his bed, Dexter went over to the long, cylindrical heater and turned it on high.

By the time he turned around to face him again, Virgil had already gotten under his covers and curled up in a ball, hidden from sight. Dexter smiled sadly and walked over, sitting down gently beside the blanketed ball and resting a hand on what he thought, and hopped, was his shoulder.

“Virgil?” He called out quietly, “Are you feeling bad?”

He was answered by a unhappy whine.

“You know you can’t talk to me right?”

The anxious emo didn’t respond and instead just curled up more on himself, Dexter, not wanting to push his friend out of his comfort zone, made himself comfortable and pulled out his phone and opened the YouTube app, putting on a vine compilation. If there was anything he knew would cheer Virgil up, it was vines.

“Hey bro what do you want to eat?”

“The souls of the innocent.”

“A bagel.”

“No!”

“Two bagels.”

A muffled chuckle came from under the covers.

“He doesn’t deserve you. If he doesn’t treat you right by now, you’re gone.”

“I’m gone!”

“Now go chop his dick off!”

The vines continued on, and so did the soft giggles. After about ten minutes of the first vine compilation, Virgil poked his head out of the covers. Soon after, he was sitting side by side with Dexter watching the vines, his manner becoming more relaxed and his tears dried. About forty minutes of mindless entertainment had passed until he was finally calm and sure enough to talk.

“Thanks Dee.” He murmured tiredly as he rested his head on Dexter’s shoulder, exhausted from his emotional episode.

“Do mention it.” The sneky boi replied, “Feeling worse?”

“A bit.” Virgil shrugged, “Just... just remembered something is all.”

Dexter looked sideways at the older, but slightly smaller, student, noting the distant and sad look in his eyes,

“Do you not want to talk about it?”

Virgil stayed quiet for awhile more, appearing to be at a miniature war with himself over whether or not he wanted to speak. Dexter waited patiently until he decided what he wanted to do.

“Long fucked up story short: my dad left when I was ten, my mom killed herself when I was thirteen, and I lived with my homophobic grandparents until graduation.”

Well shit, what was he supposed to say to that? Whatever explanation he had cooked up in his mind was nothing compared to that, now he’s going to look like an uncaring asshole if he doesn’t speak up fast-

“Wow.”

FUCKING PERFECT!

Virgil gave a halfhearted chuckle, completely different from the one earlier.

“Yeah, it’s not your typical story... but it’s mine. Guess we can be fucked up together, right?”

“I’m not fucked up?” Dexter echoed, well, tried to anyway.

“Yeah, I mean look at you!” Dexter faltered and looked down at himself, trying to find the flaw that Virgil saw. Realizing how he sounded, Virgil quickly backtracked, stuttering an apology. “N-n-not that there’s anything wrong with you, you’re a great person. I just meant that your family is a bit fucked up.”

“Is that why you didn’t yell at my mother?” Dexter questioned, feeling relieved that it was him that Virgil saw as a mistake.

“Yeah... seeing her act like you were... some kind of monster really pissed me off. I mean you were just hugging your sister! Why the fuck did she have to act like that?!”

“I’m aloud to be around her. That wasn’t the rule ever since she was born.”

“It’s a fucking stupid ass rule! You’re family not a stranger. A family should accept one another, stick it out through the bad, encourage each other and lift them up, no matter the flaws. At least that’s what I always thought. Not really how mine turned out either.”

“I haven’t gotten used to it, it’s never been this way-”

“But it shouldn’t have to be! Just because shit happens doesn’t mean everything needs to be shit. Fuck your parents, if they don’t treat you right by now, you’re gone.”

Dexter looked over at Virgil, and saw that the other was smirking at him. It took a moment, but eventually his brain processed what he needed to say next.

“I’m not gone.” He whispered, grinning as well.

“Now go chop their dicks off.”

The next day Dexter sat through several meetings with his parents and professors. His little sister Daisy often sat to the side while they talked, watching some kid show to pass the time on her tablet as she waited. The conversations with his Anatomy and Calculus professors went fairly well. Professor Mraz noted his early struggle with calculus at the beginning of the semester, but praised his tenacity and hard work with the subject to be able to come out with a B+ on the final. His parents seemed pleased enough that he was doing well.

The tricky part came at around three in the afternoon when they pad a visit to Professor Sharps’s room. Her room was so obviously a writing class, Dexter could only hold his breath and pray to God that his parents wouldn’t take too much notice. Miss Sharp was sitting at her desk when they all walked in, working on some kind of paperwork as she waited for them to arrive. Dexter had made sure to give all his professors a few hours notice prior to each meeting.

Her long ginger hair was pulled back into a french braid and she was wearing one of her favorite green dresses with a red blazer. Seeing the family walk in, Miss Sharp rolled her wheelchair over to greet his folks, each with a handshake and a polite hello.

“Hello, I’m Professor Sharp, your son’s Classic Literature teacher.” She introduced herself, giving a small wink and a smile towards Dexter, which he returned.

“Hello Miss,” His father replied, shaking her hand, his mother doing the same next, “I’m James Woodbrooke, and this is my wife Katrina.”

“How do you do?” She greeted with a smile.

“Simply splendid I solemnly suppose.” She giggle as she spoke, “That’s an alliteration, a little exercise I like to do with my students because it helps with- their study of classic literature!” Miss Sharp quickly corrected herself from spilling the beans. Dexter could find any fault with her however, she was a writing enthusiast after all. Trying to turn her switch off is as easy as lifting ten tons of bricks. That was an oxymoron.

“Hm, well I came here to ask about Dexter’s performance in your class. Has he been... behaving well? Been a decent student?” James asked delicately, trying not to appear suspicious in his concern. Miss Sharp’s eyes furrowed ever so slightly at his question. She glance over at Dexter before she answered, making him squirm a little in embarrassment.

“I like to think of Dexter as my best student. He is always here on time, never misses a day, is well prepared, and fully attentive during lectures and interactives. His grade is the highest in the class and is work is commendable.” She answered curtly, holding herself with a firm stance, not breaking eye contact with his father. His father huffed and crossed his arms, apparently not impressed in the slightest.

“Well he did say he wanted to be an English teacher. Still, with his disability I don’t he’ll be able to make it very far in the field.” James said nonchalantly.

“With his abilities I believe Dexter will exceed in this field.” Miss Sharp wheeled herself back slightly, smoothing out the creases in her blazer, still not once breaking eye contact. “We met, we discussed, we concluded. I could do this forever, but time is money. Work will not wait. Anaphora, Hyperbole, Metaphor, and Alliteration.” She grinned widely, enjoying the offending face of her mother, and annoyed look of his father. “Don’t have a good day.”

His parents busted out of the doors shouting in anger, screaming complaints about her audacity to speak to them that way. In fact, they were so angry that they didn’t even notice that Dexter was holding hands with Daisy as they walked after them. He savored every moment of contact he had with his sister, and so did she, knowing that this would be a rarity for them.

Once they all climbed into Dexter’s buggy, directing them to take him to a decent place for dinner, their shouts became loud, angry talking.

“That woman thinks she knows our son? She must be just as insane if she thinks he could ever exceed.” His father scoffed, “Why are you even in school? I thought you were going to work at the shop with me.”

“I thought it would be a bad idea to have a backup career.” Dexter mumbled next to him, trying to not let his words sting and focused on the road.

“It is a bad idea. Maybe if you could talk correctly I’d be okay with it, but how the hell are you going to teach with your impediment?”

“James please, we’ve discussed that Dexter isn’t just cut out to be a mechanic. That’s why you’re training his cousin, remember?” His mom said from the back seat.

“Whatever.” He grumbled.

The restaurant he had taken them all to was a personal favorite of Logan and Patton called Romello’s Italian Restaurant. The two often went here on their dates and would sometimes bring back leftovers form him and the others to share. The clam linguine was to risk death for and he’d definitely be getting it tonight.

The four of them sat at a booth, Daisy and his mother on one side, and him and his father on the other. Dexter suspected it was to keep him away from his sister. Conversation would have been nonexistent if it wasn’t for Day, the little girl loved to talk the ear off of anyone who would listen to her rambled about what element Neptune’s atmosphere is comprised of and all the like. And at the moment, they had no chance but to listen, as neither he nor his parents budged.

The server came with their drinks and took their orders, leaving them to, once again, listen to Day talk about everything she knows about space. It seems that his little sister already knew what she wanted to be, and she claimed that she’d be the first human to reach beyond our solar system.

It wasn’t until their bread sticks were brought over that she had quieted down, shoving her face full with the snack. His father decided to take the opportunity to speak.

“Dexter, I think you should drop Professor Sharp’s class,”

“James,” His mother spoke in warning, but was ignored.

“She’s filling your head with delusion. I wouldn’t be surprised if she was mentally ill as well.”

“James,”

Dexter shifted uncomfortably in his seat from cheek to cheek. Daisy watched curiously as she ate, filling her mouth with an amount of bread beyond what any small child should consume at once.

“But I don’t love her class. I thought-”

“That isn’t important, this woman is filling you head with... fantasy. You’ll only raise your expectation beyond your capabilities.” James argued, focusing solely on his son. For once, his mother did too, not watching Daisy eat all of their appetizer.

“If you love the class so much, perhaps you could simply request a different professor next semester?” Katrina suggested, trying to be the mediator in the family. “Whatever Sharp is telling you isn’t true, and you know better than to lie, right?”

“Mother please, Professor Sharp is the worst in her subject. You wanted me to not have a good education.”

His mother sighed and rubbed her temple, looking exhausted. No one noticed, but Daisy suddenly stopped eating.

“It’s ‘best’, Dexter, and yes I do want you to have-”

Daisy interrupted the conversation, slamming her hands on the table. James was about to scold her for being indecent, but then noticed that something was wrong. The three of them all turned their attention to Daisy, her little, plump face was turning blue and her small hands pulled at her throat. His little sister was chocking.

“Daisy!” The three of them shouted simultaneously, hopping out of the booth and surrounding her.

“It’s the bread!” His mother said in panic, pushing the girl out from her booster seat.

“Obviously, do something!” His father demanded, looking frightened and unsure of what to do. Katrina wrapped her arms around Daisy’s stomach and started to squeeze her, having no effect. Daisy started to become worse, and looked as if she was about to black out. The staff were on their way to help, but Dexter acted first. If she passes out while chocking, it’s very likely she’ll die before an ambulance arrives.

Pulling Day from his mother’s hands he positioned the thumb of his fist slightly over her bellybutton, grasped his fist with his other hand, and thrust multiple times. It took several attempts, but after about twenty seconds of trying, a wad of soggy bread fell onto the ground. Daisy gasped for air and coughed horribly. Dexter let out the largest breath of air ever in relief.

“Daisy!” His mother said joyously, wrapping her arms around her daughter loosely to allow her room to breath. His father kneeled down and hugged the both of them. Families and groups around them cheered, all apparently having witnessed the scene and had been just as worried.

Standing from the floor, Katrina lifted Daisy up on her hip, and his father stood by his side. He placed a hand on Dexter’s shoulder and stared at him for a moment, then pulled him into a hug.

“Thank you for saving your sister.” He murmured into his son’s shoulder. “You knew what to do when I didn’t, perhaps you have more abilities than I thought.” Dexter had the largest smile on his face because he was certain that was the closest his father has ever came to complimenting him. “You can stay in your class. Although maybe you should be a doctor.”

Dexter chuckled lightly, “Yes, I’d still like to be a teacher.” He lied.

Their meal was free that night, and apparently for the next year as well. They were all still a bit shaken however, so they had their dinner to go and went back to the hotel, and this time the invitation was extended to him as well. They sat together and watched the Hallmark specials until late in the night.

His parents still hadn't fully accepted him, but Dexter was patient and decided not to say anything. After all, they had promised to pay his tuition if he graduated, and he wasn’t about to pass up on that opportunity. He’d tell them one day, and now that day felt just a little closer.

His parents allowed him to spend the night over with them, having him share the bed with his little sister, no longer visibly upset about the two of them talking to or being with each other. If this was his late Christmas gift, it was the best they had ever given him.

His family flew home the next morning.

Yep, hi.

Tag List:

@noneed4thistbh @romanasanders @fuckingemoace @bunny222 @sea-blue-child @astraastro@helloitstimetofight @blue-wolfbane @applecannibal @ryuity @anxiouslyfred @i-identify-as-a-mango @shadowjag @scorching-scotch @cyberpunkjinx @im-so-infinitesimal @witch197 @sparkly-rainbow-salt @calvindientesblancos

#sanders sides #deceit sanders #deciet sanders #ts deceit #sympathetic deceit #virgil sanders #roman sanders #logan sanders #patton sanders #sanders sides deceit #sanders sides virgil #sanders sides logan #sanders sides patton #logicality #prinxiety #princiety #speech impediment #platonic dlamp

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comedicreliefonlyworkswhenfunny · 6 years ago

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Villain! Deku au; chapter sixteen: A Fire In The Night

First

Midoriya ran the bar as usual that day while his teammates went over what they were to do during the infiltration. They were to attack in the evening, when the students would be tired from quirking out and the teachers would be tired of putting up with them. The only problem was the annoying wait until evening… and telling the customers that they wouldn’t be open from prime drinking time, but that was mostly just arguments. About half of the bar patrons were participating in the infiltration, reading the vague instructions that Deku had given them each. Somewhere along the line, somebody started a discussion about what they should be called- not that it mattered. “League of Villains’ Frontal Force!” Twice, a boisterous villain with a cloning quirk, chimed in. His attitude was always a bit too bubbly for a villain, but he was the appreciated working comic relief. “Nice alliteration, but that sounds stupid. We need a name that does the job; it doesn’t need to sound flashy. We should be the Attack Force,” Mustard, a B-ranked assassin with a knack for murder, argued. Unlike some of his comrades, he prefered quiet kills and using his quirk to take out enemies without a struggle. “We should be a squad! A tight knit group fighting under the same ideals! The League of Villains’ Attack Squad!” added Spinner, to describe him as outgoing wouldn’t quite cover it; he was enthusiastic, to say the least, and a justice fighter(™) to boot. His past altercations left him with an oxymoronic hatred for heroes and a love for justice. He was, most definitely, the strongest Stain fan of the group. “That’s so childish, go for something like the League of Villains’ Vanguard. It sounds so much cooler and has a meaning behind it,” surprisingly the philosophical input came from Dabi; more likely than not, he just wanted to sound smarter than the rest of the group, though. “We take action!” Toga gleefully chimed in, “Action to make the world a better place!” They could have gone on all day and never left the hideout if Midoriya didn’t chime in. “The League of Villains’ Vanguard Action Squad. We lead an action based revolution with a tight knit group. Over. Done. No further discussion,” if Deku hadn’t said anything, Kurogiri looked like he was about to resolve the conflict himself. A silent, almost invisible, nod of thanks was sent to Midoriya.

Kurogiri slowly fed the villains through a warp gate to a mountain protecting the hideout. Miscellaneous chatter soaked up the short waiting time that the villains were currently being melodramatic about. “No good, it’s just not cute!” Toga, one of the many bouncy children in the League complained aimlessly. “The abstruse administration has laid out our orders. While they don’t appear to be the most professional, their planning is sure to be sound,” Mustard argued for the sensibility of the plan. “Not that, not that. It’s just not cute,” she aimlessly complained about whatever was most prominent in her cluttered mind at the time. “Who the hell cares? We came to kill, and I want to get to it!,” Muscular was just ticked that he was the newbie of the group and was very much treated as such. He was a powerful ally to have, but he did not embody the beliefs of the league at all. He was a chaotic evil amongst lawfuls and neutrals. “Shut up, weirdos, the plan is to wait for all of us,” Dabi spoke up, looking over the see of forest. Magne, Spinner, and Moonfish all walked through the portal after taking too long to get ready. “Ambitious punks only cause more damage than they’re worth. What they need is a hit from a gang of elites,” an open mouth declaration to the rest of the squad, “Peace is ours, and they will learn that tonight.”

Eventually the time came for the mission to truly begin. Mustard and Dabi were to launch the initial attack, drawing the attention on them, while Magne and Spinner were to hunt down the Pussycats. Once the smoke was up and ready, everybody spilt. The League of Villains’ Vanguard Action Squad slunk into the forest like a snake in the grass. Mustard released his quirk, the gas swirling like a typhoon, and Dabi did his job, igniting various trees, all far enough away to spread the fire, but not too far away as he was lazy. Magne and Spinner went to target the Pussycats. Moonfish and Toga wandered the forests in search of stragglers.

Mange was the first to officially strike, pulling on of the Pussycats towards her and landing a heavy blow to Pixiebob. “We are the League of Villains’ Vanguard Action Squad, tiny UA students. Pleased to meetcha!” Spinner stupidly declared. He was a living definition of a poorly written comic book villain, always blurting out whatever comes to mind. ‘Ha ha, heroes! I (we) have (think we have) the upper hand! (we don’t) Since we’re so confident (cocky, stupid), here is the entire layout of said plan, step by step (as if we were explaining it to one of our recruits)’ type of badly written comic book villain. Magne was smarter than Spinner, holding Pixie-Bob to the ground with her weapon. “Should I crush her pretty little skull? I don’t see why not, but what do you guys think?” psychological manipulation that was to instil a feeling of helplessness. It wasn’t outwardly taking a hostage, but it was showing that she wasn’t hesitating. The problem with hostages always becomes ‘if you kill them, you have nothing,’ so having the clear ability to ignore your “advantage,” shows power. Student’s shocked faces were priceless as they gaze upon the villains. Tiger, however, was not having it. He knew the woes of being a woman, and, as a person, also wished for a similar happiness. It was no secret that the Pussycats were steadily creeping past optimal age. Pixie-Bob was taking it the hardest. “Don’t you dare!” he hissed- pun intended, with rage hot on tongue. Both Ragdoll and Tiger were happy with hero life, Mandalay was just worried about the idea of being old, but Pixie-Bob was the romantic of the group. Magne didn’t care for that though, she had her heart broken far to many times to care about the heart of a “beautiful” woman. Tired of being the “coyote ugly,” she wanted to make it so that beauty didn’t run the world. Spinner cut in as well, completely knowing Magne’s anger for those deemed “attractive.” He called out, “Don’t be hasty Big Sis Mag,” he knew she loved that nickname, for several reasons, “You, too, Tiger,” he held his arms out to stop the two readied opponents. “Holding life in your hands is the most important thing you can do! Do you not remember Stain’s teachings?”

Of course that fanboy would bring up Stain. He took every word from that man’s mouth as if it was his lifeline, after a while that was what happened. He believed heavily in justice, but was always made fun of as a kid. He wasn’t the strongest, the smartest, and definitely not the most beautiful: he wasn’t an “ideal” hero, and his strong sense of justice got him nowhere. “Stain… So these people were his followers,” Iida almost felt regret at this point, the thought that Stain had followers who quite clearly knew his face as one that brought their “teacher’s” demise. He could easily push it aside because Stain was an asshole who put his brother in intensive care, despite being a hero for the purest of reasons. “You got that right!” half right, at most; most of “Stain’s followers” weren’t actually his followers, they just believed in same or similar ideals. Shiragaki couldn’t understand that, but he was just a big man child who refused to try- a statement taken directly from fellow members of the league. “And we know all about your feats, four eyes,” Spinner looked at him with a side glance, “And how you helped bring Stain’s end in Hosu.” He placed his hand on his weapon before he continued, “I’m who they call Spinner, and I’m here to make Stain’s dreams come true!” he declared as he “unsheathed” his weapon. It was a new addition for him, made of every knife Stain left behind, with a few of his own, awkwardly tied together to create a patchwork buster sword. Spinner, still lost in the confidence of his introduction and the echoed ‘woah’s of his blade’s reveal, plucked a nerve of Tiger’s.

“That’s good for you, but,” he looked to Pixie-Bob who was lying unconscious, “Pixie-Bob, my friend and teammate, has been worried about marriage. Happiness in life is a woman’s woe! With all of it’s difficulty, she tries very hard!” at this point it was just an oration. Until Tiger got to the point, “How dare you leave an ugly scar like that on her beautiful face, and blab like that without any care?” he was yelling now, showing his true colors. “So heroes have such plain dreams, too?” Spinner was laughing at the thought. The term ‘hero’ had degraded so much, to the point when they’re worried about life after their job. Wasn’t that so funny to think about? A profession where your only purpose is to help people, and there’s a question of what comes after this? People who are trusted with lives have time to worry about marriage and their white picket fence dreams; do the people not matter? Spinner couldn’t help but laugh as he charged towards half of the Pussycats. “Tiger! I’ve sent out the order to Ragdoll to make sure the students are safe! All we need to do is hold them off here!” Mandalay relayed to the partner beside her. She turned to the students and gave them what they needed to know, “Get on your way kids! Be alert, but remember: no fighting!” she couldn’t afford to turn her back. “Keep them safe for me, Class President!” a statement to encourage Iida; being called the class president reminded him that Momo accepted the ‘Vice’ role because she trusted his decision making more than her own. “I’ll make sure we stay safe and out of the way. You heard her, time to go!” Iida rallied his peers as their fearful feet pounded down the path to safety.

Shiragaki and Kurogiri discussed the likelihood of the mission as their pawns were in play. “Do you think they can pull this off?” being honest, Kurogiri still wasn’t over the stupid naming ceremony that they held instead of preparing for battle. “Maybe, maybe,” he almost laugh, unwilling to admit that Midoriya’s words made him change his strategy. Sure, he could have thought of it on his own, and that was what he told himself, but, ultimately, it was Midoriya who told him to think of it like a video game. “I thought this was an rpg, advancing through the storyline as quickly as possible, but I was all wrong. See, when my level one party and I should have been killing slimes, we were trying to fight the boss,” he understood that his ambition got ahead of him, seeing as all the he wanted to do was defeat All Might; it was a heavy fault to admit. “Instead, I am the player, I am the GM, moving my characters and the storyline to places that will get them closer to the end goal,” he grinned at the idea of his master plan, “And to do that, we need to break a few walls to allow the chaos in. It doesn’t matter if they thrive or not, they might not even survive,” he laughed leaning back slightly. Kurogiri didn’t follow, “So they are disposable?” how would that help at all? “No, no, of course not! They’re all comrades, but what matters is the lingering fear that something could happen at any given moment. Wariness, mistrust, accusation; why fear us when they fear each other? But of course, I do hope they succeed,” he made a point. Wariness would fry their systems; who has time for self care when evil might be anywhere? Mistrust would scramble their minds; it was exactly that! Just a thought! Who’s to say if it’s wrong or right? Accusation would tear them apart: why am I suspicious? The fact that you find me suspicious is quite so. Do I even know you? Not to mention the big pawn: Deku; the young boy Izuku Midoriya. Shiragaki knew his relations to the explosive blonde boy, an ex bully who knew him as a hero fanboy. All Might himself, who had shot down the young boy’s dreams. The two students who fought Stain in Hosu, side by side with the kid who saved their lives. Shiragaki grinned as the battle raged throughout the mountains. Several unconscious and unaccounted for, injury count racking up a total; it was going just as planned.

Master

#league of villains #league of villains vaniguard action squad #my hero academia #boku no hero academia #villain!izuku #villain!deku #villain au #summer camp training arc #angst #violence

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angelicspaceprince · 7 years ago

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Summer Lovin’ (Part 1)

Author: Anna

Title: Summer Lovin' (Part 1)

Pairing: Gabriel/Reader

Character/s: Gabriel, Castiel, Lucifer, Sam Winchester, Dean Winchester, Balthazar, Crowley, Michael, Charlie, others I can't remember.

Word Count: 3, 634 words

Warnings/Tags: Teacher!Gabriel, History Teacher!Reader, overseas trips, having a crus on our man, lead up to smut, angst and goodness

Summary: You had no idea how this happened. Well, that was a lie. You knew exactly how this happened. Those stupid golden eyes and ridiculously sexy smirk somehow managed to throw you off course every time they were in your vercinity. You had no idea how you were going to handle spending two months taking care of an entire grade of students as you travelled around Europe...especially when Gabriel was going to be with you every step of the way.

Notes: Just discovered the @gabriel-monthly-challenge blog and saw their prompt for this month being high school AU and decided, yes, Gabriel as a high school teacher being the little shit we know and love. So, here we are! I'm about to go on placement so either there will be a TON of more writing that may or may not be. (Was originally going to be one large fic but had to break it down, I start placement NEXT WEEK so I'll prbably finish this series then plus all my others that are overdue to be finished)

Tags: oddone92. elyshakate. authoressskr. thewhiterabbit42, gabriel-monthly-challenge, saintbartine, ever-faithful-sidekick, saltvattenshar, diehadess, mega-supernatural-writings, shanghai88, sassysousa, micas-dont-like-rain, randomlonelytorment, oldparchmentandcoffee, ihopehellhaswi-fi. gabrieltrash, thoughtfullyoptimisticgalaxy, djpaige13paige, letsfeerintheheadlightsuniverse, taylorchwan, pizzafromhell, tuesdays-suck-for-tuesdays, archangelsanonymous

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Summer Lovin' (Part 1)

You have no idea how this happened.

Well, that was a lie. You know exactly how this happened.

Those freaking golden eyes and that ridiculously sexy smirk.

Mr Gabriel “call me Gabe” Shurley was the religion teacher at your new school. An elite school for the rich that made you feel incredibly small and insignificant when you first approached it looking for work.

You'd just moved from your old home to here, looking to get away from a nosey family and old boyfriends, and you were extremely lucky in the sense that the old history teacher has decided to retire, leaving a place for you to slip right in to take over.

You were fairly easy going and it took a lot to fluster you. But somehow that religion teacher always managed to make your brain short circuit and cheeks flush a deep red.

You didn't even hear what he said, just agreed to it when you realised he asked you a question and wasn't telling you a story. When a bemused Sam Winchester - science teacher who, as you had figured out during your third day here, every female and a few male students either had or had had a crush on him and was (as your class put it) “super cool” - came up and gently explained what you signed up for.

A six-week long school trip around Europe.

Okay, a) what sort of school has a grade-wide trip to Europe to help with their studies and b) how did you not realise that's what he was asking?

You, as a general rule, avoided day excursions like the plague. The paperwork alone was enough to invoke anxiety, but with the added stress of being the sole responsible adult for 23 kids was enough to set you off.

You didn't know if you could handle a two-month trip, responsible for an entire grade. The planning alone was enough to cause you to freak out. You should pull out, you still could. Hell, Mr Gabriel ‘Call Me Gabe’ Shurley had come up no more than six times to ask you if you wanted to withdraw.

But you couldn’t say no to him.

At least there were going to be other teachers attending, thank God. The school had decided that for a grade of a hundred and five that eight teachers and two aides for the kids who required one-on-one support would be sufficient. And, to make matters somewhat more bearable, the other teachers and aides being sent you were, at the very least, on good terms with. When Sam told you that Zachariah (not Zach. Never Zach) never came along on school trips, you swore if God Himself appeared before you, you would have kissed him in relief. Creepy Zach and Lilith, who were the two major staffing members that you had real issues with, weren’t even invited according to your reliable source. The staff that was coming, you felt comfortable with and were class favourites.

Sam was coming, obviously, and so was his brother Dean, the PE teacher. Both of the Winchester brothers were nice enough, Dean was flirty and always insisted on wearing these tiny, red shorts during PE sessions, Sam assured you that they weren’t coming on the trip, he was making sure of it.

Then there was the Maths and Art teacher, Crowley MacLeod. The snark sessions the two of you shared left most of the staff room amused, and you enjoyed the banter the two of you had on a regular basis. You were still pretty confused as to how he could have two completely opposing subjects as his classes, but he seemed to make it work. Took no shit from anyone and, quite often, would sass his students (or anyone, really) just for being in the room.

You loved it.

The drama teacher was also an amazing person, although you didn’t believe his name at first. Who on Earth calls their son Lucifer?

Lu, as he allows you and a select few call him, was also incredibly sarcastic. Must come with the job description for the teachers in this school, including ridiculously good looking, honestly. Were they running a school or a runway?

Doesn’t matter, that’s beside the point. Lu had a flair for the dramatic, both in the theatre and out of it. So it made sense to you that he took up drama, although his teaching style could be rather...well, simple. On several occasions, the kids had told you that he played drama games every so often but for the most part he’d tell them to write a play to perform in x amount of weeks.

I mean, if it fits the modules he had been given then you guess it’s okay? You could never imagine doing that, however, you had to have everything planned to the minute’s detail, including plans A-Z in case anything happened that caused you to go off track.

Then you have Castiel, the English teacher. Possibly the most amusing person you had met. Most things just flew over his head, but the few things that he actually questioned always cracked you up. He was possibly your favourite teacher to approach for serious concerns and philosophical discussions, always having the time to chat. Quite often, the two of you would start a conversation about school or marking, him answering any and all questions you had, and it would quickly turn into a discussion or debate about some topical issue. It was amazing.

Then there was Balthazar. When God created the word Man-Whore, he had Balthazar in mind. His shirts were always plunging and awfully tight, and every Monday morning he’d walk in and loudly proclaim his weekend activities, or as he liked to call it, his conquests. Teaching Food and Bev as well as French, you were pretty sure he embodied the phrase ‘well, it’s four pm somewhere’. Kids loved him, he always had some story to tell and, for the older ones, stories involving alcohol were a fan favourite.

The music teacher was another friend that you actually started spending time with outside of school. Marie, the tall brunette that was kind, wise but with an evil streak. From the moment that you first met Mr Gabriel “Call Me Gabe” Shurley, she was determined to set the two of you up, which led to a lot of awkward moments. I mean, the moment he’s in the room, all rational thought is out the window. Scratch that. All thought it out the window. You were pretty sure Marie got some form of derived pleasure out of this. And you highly doubt that she was going to behave over the two-month trip.

Finally, you have your two aides for Crispin and Louise, your friendly neighbourhood geek and lesbian, Charlie, and possibly one of the most serious men you’ve ever met, Michael. Charlie was amazing, a people’s person and genuinely funny. The two of you would talk about your favourite shows and movies before and after classes, and would often come up with new and creative ways to encourage Crispin with his work. Michael, on the other hand, was completely opposite.

The relationship you had was strictly professional, and you often didn’t know what to say to him outside of school work. He was very focused and was amazing for Louise, patient and kind to the girl with so many questions as she signed them out. You had put in a few things to help with Louise, but for the most part, she just needed a translator and occasional assistance with understanding school work. He made sure to remind you for subtitles on all YouTube videos or movies shown, even though you made a point not to forget without his reminders. The texts he sent you were short and sweet and were always to remind you of things you needed to bring in for Louise’s dyslexia.

So, he was an amazing guy. Just a polar opposite to Charlie.

All in all, you knew the trip was going to be a great one. Even as you stand, practically comatose, with your steaming coffee warming your hands as you all do a final headcount at the airport. Parents either respecting their kids and not making a big deal over them leaving the country for what would most likely feel like an eternity, and others full on embarrassing them as they blubber and sob as their babies make their first step to exploring the world (somewhat) alone.

Who decided that you were all going to fly out before the sun had even risen? To meet up at the airport at four in the morning was a feat you weren’t sure you were going to be able to succeed in but, miraculously, here you were, rather than in the comfort of your warm, soft bed.

Gabriel was, of course, a morning person. Already up and running at a speed you didn’t think you could ever match as he was excitedly chatting away and reassuring parents and students, making final checks and rushing around the airport to make sure that everything was in order. So far, when any of the members of the faculty came up to greet you, they got a grunt.

Simply too early for you.

Marie, as it would appear, was in the same boat as you, standing next to you as the two of you silently count and recount the students as Gabriel does the final lot of announcements about how the lot of you were going to travel. Travelling with a hundred and five students was going to be a challenge, so having groups of students that each teacher and/or aide was responsible for seemed logical, after all, it’s easier to look after nine-point-five students then it was all of them at once. The ten you were responsible for were the easy ones, thank God. Any other time you’d have the brain capacity to take care of the difficult students but today was not that day.

Marie bumps you slightly as you take a sip of the ambrosia that is your coffee. “What seat are you in again?”

“1B?” You confirm, looking down at your ticket. You see a faint smirk in the corner of your eye as Marie moves to take a mouthful of her drink, no doubt to hide the fact that she knew something you didn’t. “Marie? What’s going on? Why did you want to know?” She shrugs.

“Curiosity.” She replies sweetly before moving to stop an argument between two boys before it got physical. You had a funny feeling, but that could be from the lack of sleep. But the almost sinister look Dean was sending your way made you think that maybe, just maybe, it wasn’t that.

Final goodbyes were said and the boarding of the students commenced as the eleven of you tried to get them to board in an orderly manner. An impossible task, but somehow you managed.

You were seated with Jordan next to you, a quiet boy who, immediately after sitting down, pulled out his book and started to read. You liked Jordan, very brainy and never really was a bother. Relieved that you wouldn’t have to deal with one of the more hands-on kids directly next to you, you settled, pulling out your own book to read once take off commenced. Usually, you’d listen to music but you didn’t think that would be a great idea this time around.

“Hey there, neighbour.” A cheerful voice states as a weight plonks down in 1C. When you turn, your stomach does a turn, cheeks instantly flushing red and burning your skin. Golden eyes meant one person. Gabriel.

Shit.

Ten and a half hours next to the one person you couldn’t properly talk to.

“Hey.” You finally managed to not-quite blurt out with a tense smile. “Kids ready?”

“Yeah, just.” He agrees. “You ready for this?”

“Once I fully wake up.” You can feel yourself trying to be somewhat normal, but your voice has somehow gone back to how it was when you were fourteen, something that caused embarrassment to eat away at your very core.

“If you need a nap, I don’t mind being your pillow.” He winks your way, clearly enjoying how you somehow managed to get more blood into your face.

“I’m sure I’ll be fine.” You state somewhat sharply as you open your book and attempt to read, the words not quite making their way into your brain, signalling the conversation was over.

Wait a minute.

Wasn’t it Dean who booked the plane tickets?

~~~

When, and how, you fell asleep was news to you, but all you could think of now was the ridiculously warm and soft pillow you were leaning on. And occasionally moving.

It was annoying, causing you to grumble and shift slightly in an attempt to get more comfortable. A quiet voice asking ‘sir’ with a low ‘shhhh’ in response quickly made you realise two things.

A), there was no pillow and B) if there was no pillow, that meant there were two possibilities as to whom you were leaning against.

Sitting up quickly, rubbing your eyes and the slight drool that dampened the corner of your face, you were completely mortified when you realised you had been sleeping and drooling, on your crush, who saw nothing of it.

“Morning, sweets!” He exclaims cheerfully as the student - Olivia - walks away, clearly, her question answered. “Sleep well?”

“I’m so sorry.” You start, ready to jump into a full-blown apology when he simply shrugs you off.

“Don’t apologise, I’ve been told that I’m a fantastic pillow.” He grins brightly as your brain fog begins to, yet again, settle down causing your brain to slow, the bright smile he sent your way causing it to jar suddenly. For fuck’s sake. “Not a morning person?”

“Not much of a person in general, if I’m honest.” You hear the words tumble out of your mouth as you move to sit more comfortable, grimacing at the crick in your neck. You can see his face twist in amusement, trying to hold back a small amount of laughter from bubbling forth. “Where’s the coffee? Actually no, where are we?” You correct yourself as he opens his mouth to answer.

A small paper cup filled with glorious brown liquid appears in front of you. “You missed her by about two minutes, so I grabbed you a cup.” The sip you took felt heavenly as warmth filled your system and you began to slowly pull out of the fog and the wrench in the gears of your brain started to shift slowly. “You slept for about eight hours, we have another hour and a bit to go.” You groan. “What? Is sitting next to Jordan that bad?” You quickly swivel to make sure Jordan isn’t offended but, thankfully, he’s fast asleep. He’s a little bit sensitive, that boy.

“No, not a fan of flying.” You admit. “If God wanted us to fly, He would have given us wings.” You quote your mother. Gabriel starts to laugh, obviously trying to keep the volume low so not to wake up the surrounding sleeping students.

“You sound like Dean.” He lifts his head to look behind the two of you, you follow suit. Sure enough, there was a pale, with an almost green tinge, Dean Winchester, gripping onto his chair for dear life as Sam continues to obviously enjoy his misfortune and tease the shit outta him. “He hates flying.”

“Then why do the trip?” You ask him quietly, smiling reassuringly when Dean’s eyes flicker to yours for a second.

“To get some of, and I quote, hot European ass.” You roll your eyes as you turn back, leaving Dean to his misery.

“In that case then, Dean can suffer.” As you move to drink more of your coffee, you feel Gabriel’s laughter next to you.

You really liked his laugh.

~~~

The rest of the hour flew by quickly, sleepy but excited students slowly waking up as the plane prepares for landing, chatter slowly filling up the cabin as you help calm nervous students and stop the overexcited ones from freaking out the rest. In between all of that, you managed to somehow, miraculously, have a semi-normal conversation with Gabriel, find Marie to basically just slap the upside of her head as clearly, she knew the torment that awaited you when you first boarded the plane, and finish the last two chapters of your book. The moment you were on land again, you could have jumped for joy. Dean all but fell down the stairs his legs were so shaky from the ride, and you were certain his voice was about two octaves higher than usual.

Student check and baggage claim happened relatively quickly...well, slightly quicker than you expected for a group of over a hundred. You managed to track down Dean to check up on him as your kids were getting their bags, and although his voice hadn’t quite returned to its normal deep pitch, he didn’t look as green as he did when he left the stairs.

He was, however, strangely interested in how your flight was, and surprisingly disappointed when you informed him you spent most of it sleeping and the rest dealing with the kids. If it wasn’t for the fact that you were adults, you would have suspected something was up.

Herding tired and excited kids into a bus at 7:30 at night was a little disorientating (read: super fucking hard) when you were still running at your home state’s time of 2:30 in the afternoon, your mind confused at why it was suddenly going dark, but you managed. Thankfully, the bus driver who addressed everyone as ‘flower’ did a pit stop at McDonald's so the kids had something to eat before checking them into their rooms for the night, having a meeting with the head of their group before lights out. Gabriel had run ahead to check him in, so you grabbed him something to make sure he ate, which allowed Marie to basically take the piss out of you as you two waited for the others to finish.

Finally, you were at the hotel. Your heavy eyelids wanted to cover your lead-like eyes, but your jobs weren’t done. You had to hold a meeting with your group of students to remind them of the rules (no fooling around, lights out at 10pm, breakfast at 7am and to be ready for departure at 9am, unless otherwise specified, no sneaking out, no alcohol, no drugs and, if you really must leave your room, make sure to inform a teacher and take a buddy, no we don’t care that you are 18 we are responsible for you, therefore, you will do as we say) and get them ready for the next day, which was going to be an easy one. Visit Westminster and possibly do a bit of exploring.

The nine you had were easy, and you had the added extra help of Charlie as Crispin was in your group, alongside Victoria, Lucas, Ursula, Joel, Ryan, Elizabeth, Jane and Angela, meant that you were sure you were going to have it easy. Sure, Lucas and Joel together was often a recipe for trouble but the two of them never caused you any grief and Victoria was upset that her boyfriend was in another group but she would be fine once they all figured out that these mini-groups were just to check to see if everyone was present and to give them the run down of the next days events.

After explaining this to them, they all seemed settled that they were, in fact, going to be able to hang out with their friends. The meeting itself lasted only ten minutes, located in the boy's room before you left them all to get ready for bed, having shown the girls to their room as you walked down to your room.

You already knew that you were going to have to share with another teacher. The groups had to share rooms in their gender and so did teachers, mostly due to room restrictions and to be fair on students.

You had no idea who you’d been paired with, but Marie had assured you that she had put in a word so you wouldn’t have to deal with the snorers (the Winchester bros) or the extremely fussy ones (Castiel and Michael), especially as you would have to stay with them for the duration of the trip.

Secretly, you were hoping for Marie, who was hoping for Dean, or Charlie, who was hoping for Marie. That was a Shakespearean love story right there.

So, when you opened your door and no one was present, you assumed whoever you were staying with hadn’t finished their meeting, so you move to claim the bed closest to the window, hoping to be more or less in bed within the next ten minutes.

Teeth brushed, PJs on, book out, you were more or less ready for bed and just waiting for the other teacher to rock up. It wasn’t until another twenty minutes had passed that the door was finally slammed open.

Oh no.

You can’t be serious.

You don’t know if your heart, mind, body and soul could take this.

“Hiya sweets!”

It was going to be a long trip.

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idletcwns · 6 years ago

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light footsteps patter as a five year old ezra clifton makes his way across the hard wood floors of his bedroom. after a long day at kindergarten, the young tyke had napped most of the remnants of the afternoon away. the sun was now setting as the boy gazed out the window, the sky a conglomerate of vibrant pinks, reds, and oranges... however, his attention wasn’t on the sky. instead, his viridescent hues are fixed on a certain brown-haired boy playing in his backyard.

for as long as he could remembered, ezra had remembered his parents wouldn’t let him play with the boy next door, though he never understood why. the many times he’d asked to go over and play with him, his mother always told him firmly “ no. ” even when he questioned her, she never failed to rely on the infamous “ because i’m your mother and i said so ” bit. ezra couldn’t seem to understand what the harm could possibly be in playing with another kid could be. they seemed to have no problem with any other kid... in fact, they even encouraged him to at school, so it was all a mystery as to why he was forbidden to play with alistair — at least that’s what he thought his name was; that was what one of his friends at school who happened to be in his class told him.

footsteps approached little ezra’s bedroom, prompting the brunet to turn to face his mother. once again, the boy couldn’t resist asking to go play with alistair. there could be no harm in it, right ?

“ momma, ” the kid began, his arms wrapping around his mother’s leg, “ can i please go next door and play with alistair ? i did all my homework and cleaned my room. i think i should at least get to have some fun. ” his little arms were now crossed against his chest.

once again, his plans were brought to a dismal halt. “ it was too late. the sun’s already down, coração, ” she had said. “ besides, you’re not allowed to play with him anyways. don’t question me on this. ”

a sigh escaped the tiny boy’s lips as he climbed onto his bed. maybe one day he’d play with him on the playground at school. yes, that was it. he’d play with alistair at school. he’d bring his pokemon cards too, just in case the boy was interested in that. ezra was determined to be friends with him, even if his parents disapproved.

of course, the young boy never managed to do it, though he thought about it every day until he entered middle school.

his pencil tapped steadily against his desk as he attempted to focus on the lesson his geography teacher was teaching. though he was a good student, ezra didn’t seem to quite care about the climate of new england. hell, he’d been to new england, so why the hell did it matter, and why the hell was a whole lesson devoted to it ? ezra would never understand the inner-workings of the ms. sanderson’s mind, especially not in freshman geography.

rather than the foliage of vermont being on his mind, ezra opted to, instead, think about something else... red. alistair greendale always seemed to be on ezra’s mind, lingering in the back of his mind even during the tasks of the utmost importance. but he’d noticed that the boy must’ve dyed his hair over the summer because it was a bright ginger now. it was adorable, in ezra’s opinion, though he’s not sure he could say it out loud... no, he knows he could never say it out loud. surely if ezra dared to call him adorable, his ass would be pummeled in seconds, if not by alistair himself then by a nosy straight boy listening in.

ezra couldn’t admit it at the time, but he’d developed a small crush on the slightly younger boy long, long ago. every time he thought about alistair, he could feel his stomach drop as if he was on his favorite roller coaster at disney world. his notebooks, while mostly filled with color coded notes, even featured quite a number of doodles of alistair’s name or his initials alongside ezra’s encompassed in a heart. his notebook for more personal things, which was hidden under a loose floorboard in his bedroom, featured more doodles of that sort and writings — mainly ramblings but the occasional poem made an appearance too — about the ezra-declared “a greek god that graced an undeserving planet.”

even now, he was staring at the boy when he should’ve been focusing on the presentation ms. anderson was babbling on about. it was embarrassing; they’d hardly ever spoken to each other... still, his eyes were glued onto him, captivated by the way alistair’s hands moved as he scribbled notes onto his paper, the rise and fall of his chest as he breathed, his voice when he spoke to his friends... he could go on and on for hours about the redhead, and he would internally, at least.

ezra couldn’t even escape him in his sleep; he dreamed about him at the fewest once a week, and that was just what he could recall. he couldn’t count the number of times a dream that had gone awry somehow ended up wit alistair saving the day and sweeping him off his feet... how ridiculous did that sound ? alistair was probably straight; according to everyone around ezra, he was dating luna. he couldn’t help but be jealous of her, even if he didn’t really have any grounds to get upset.

his train of thought was interrupted by one of his soccer teammates and best friend alexander waved his hand in front of him.

“ class is over, ez. hurry the hell up, i don’t wanna lose our table at lunch. you know the junior assholes like to steal it, ” he barked at him, but it went through one ear and out the other. the boy was still thinking about alistair, and he did for the rest of the day... in more ways than he ought to.

after two years of hard work, sweat, and a lot of running, ezra clifton had made the varisty soccer team, and he was already rising in the ranks, quickly becoming one of the coach’s favorite players. they practiced almost every day with the exception of thursdays and fridays — the latter which were saved for games. this was no exception the day the school was abuzz with rumors of a fight that had gone on earlier that day. usually, ezra didn’t give a damn about any fights that were going on in the school; he thought they were petty and a waste of time that could be spent learning... however, once he learned alistair greendale was involved, his demeanor changed.

the team was gathered around in the locker room, watching videos from bystanders of the altercations. needless to say, ezra was proud of his man... well, in his mind, alistair was his man.

“ so, uh, what caused all of that ? ” ezra inquired, not to anyone in particular, but he hoped that someone knew.

“ apparently, it was you, ” one of the seniors named jimmy answered.

“ me, how the hell did i start a fight i didn’t even know about ?? ” he shot backed, a puzzled look on his face.

“ word is that the other kid said somethin’ about you, and alistair just started hittin’ ‘im. ‘s all i know. ”

ezra couldn’t believe it... alistair hit someone over him ? he thought he was worth getting expelled ? well, okay, ezra figured that wasn’t too high on his priorities, but the thought of it made it seem romantic to him.

it was all he could think about on his drive home and as he was making his way into the house. somehow even his parents knew about because he heard them discussing it in the kitchen as he walked into the house. setting his keys on the table, their attention soon turned to him.

“ i don’t want you hanging out with that greendale kid, ezra, ” his father spoke firmly. “ that boy is nothing but trouble. ”

“ that’s not true, dad, and you know that. we’ve lived next to him for how many years, and he’s never given us any grief. i’ll hang out with him if want to, ” he retorted.

“ ezra warner clifton, you listen to your father... and don’t talk back to him, ” his mother snapped. “ meu deus, meu filho vai ser um encrenqueiro agora, ” she muttered under her breath.

“ não seja tão dramático, ” ezra grumbled before he was commanded to go to his room.

preferring to be alone, he spent the rest of his night in his room, only coming down to grab a snack every so often. most of his night was spent hunched over a piece of paper scrawling words over and over again. his trash can was filled with balls of paper from letters to alistair he’d deemed unacceptable for one reason or another, be it he didn’t like the way he crossed his t or he made a grammar error. he hadn’t even began a letter he was happy with until he saw the boy in his backyard. the light barely illuminated his face, but even from his window, ezra could make out the cut on the boy’s face. his stomach twisted as he had to look away from alistair for the first time in his life out of of sheer guilt. he did that.

the ink start flowing as ezra finally began his perfect letter. every loop was perfect, every t crossed and i dotted. he’d even gone so far as to write the thing in cursive.

alistair,

i know we don’t speak at all, but i wanted to write you to let you know how much i admire you. you’re very courageous and never back down, and i think you are just phenomenal... but before i get too far into this letter, i want to say thank you, if the rumors are true that this whole fight started because of me. if that’s not true, well, please don’t continue on, or else i’ll look a fucking fool... excuse my language.

for more than seven years now, i’ve always been captivated by you, and i didn’t realize why until i was in the ninth grade, i think. i’m sure you’ve caught me staring at you across the lunchroom or classroom, and i know it’s absolutely rude to stare at people... but i can’t help it. you’re gorgeous, and i’ve developed a crush on you, i think. i guess i should keep that to myself, but something is telling me that you may like me too. i’m putting everything on the line here really to just write this. i’d never live this down if anyone on the team found out i was gay... but i think i can trust you from what i’ve observed these past few years of being in class together, like i know when your birthday is, what you drink at lunch everyday, what color pen you use most often... all that kind of stuff. god, i sound like a stalker, but i promise i’m not... i just really like you, and i hope you like me too... and if not, well, you can just throw this away, but please, don’t tell anyone. just pretend you didn’t ever read this part of the letter if that’s the case...

love, ezra

the next morning, ezra gave the letter sealed in an envelope to one of their mutual friends in his chemistry class... little did he know that the letter would never make it to a certain ginger-haired boy.

#* // THREADS: ezra.

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