#the swapper

[magnusthehorseman]

[thebeautyofgaming]

The Swapper

[javelinbk]

Proof that Paul is only ever one wolf-whistle away from making it gay

Paul McCartney talks about the Beatles sandwich on Parkinson, 3rd December 1999

[gradexmovies]

[nonotnolan]

Group Project

"I don't care if most people skip this step," Aiden said, taking a pre-swap photo with Nathan. "I still don't completely trust Swapper technology, just... I don't have many other options. Professor Carmichael has been riding our asses all semester, and this damn group project is worth 50% of my grade. I, uhh... I appreciate you doing this for me."

"You're the one paying me," Nathan said, grinning into the mirror with two thumbs up. "As long as you follow the basic rules, I don't really care what sort of extra safeguards you want to throw in. And don't worry, I think it's cute. Commencing swap... now."

Aiden barely had time to panic before he found himself staring up into his former face. The biggest shock was feeling Nathan's coiffed hair brushing against his forehead. The nerd came well recommended by Frat Row-- at this point, he probably spent more time outside of his body than inside of it. Certainly it hadn't been Nathan spending time at the gym to earn these arms. He had graduated college last year, but instead of getting a full time job, he hired out his services to anyone who needed to pass tests or make presentations. At $500 per swap, the legality was the only barrier to making it into a career. "So, you remember the rules, right?" said Aiden's body.

Hearing his voice like that was incredibly odd. "Yeah, we've got to stay swapped for 48 hours or else the Campus safety test will know we used our Swappers. You aren't liable if you get caught, I already paid you up front, no refunds. We had to jailbreak our Swappers to override the 12 hour standard limit, so I'll get arrested if I try to contact customer service. Anything else I'm missing?"

"No hard drugs, but any amount of sex and alcohol is fair game," Nathan said, as he reached into Aiden's waistband to fondle his new package. "Nice dick, my guy," he said, giving him another thumbs up. "That's gotta be, what... at least seven inches?"

Aiden blushed, deeply embarrassed to see his body acting so corny. "A bit under seven and a half, yeah," he said. "Aa-anyway, I'll be at the house if you need me."

"Have fun," Nathan said, giving him an exaggerated wink and slapping him on the shoulders. "I've swapped with several of your brothers. I know you're gonna have a good time."

Preston was outside, taking advantage of one of the last warm afternoons before fall turned into winter. "Damn, bro, you hired Nathan? Looks like someone was worried about failing their classes. So, who are you?"

"It's Aiden," I said, feeling very self conscious about my newer, frailer body as I found myself staring at Preston's hairy chest.

He just laughed. "Wait, Aiden? I didn't even know you had a Swapper! Damn, dude, you must be desperate to pass."

"I... yeah," I said, avoiding eye contact. Was Nathan a gay man? That was fine if he was, just... did that sort of thing stick to the body? He'd never really noticed the cleft of Preston's chin before, but he was-- Nathan's body was-- incredibly horny.

"A word of advice, Newbie," he said, sitting down his book. "Most of the Swapper nerds, or at least the ones worth hiring? They're gay men. Don't try to fight it. Just enjoy the ride. You'll be back to your no-homo self in 48 hours." He flexed his chest, letting his pecs bounce. "Or maybe you'll be a bit more worldly," he said, laughing as Aiden tried not to sneak a glance. "Getting a compliment from a gay dude feels real good."

Aiden practically sprinted toward the main doors, eager to escape the awkward situation. "Yeah I'll keep that in mind thanks bye," he muttered, cursing Nathan's gym shorts and their inability to hide an erection.

"Well, damn bro, look who it is! Someone hired Nathan!"

Sitting over in the lobby were two other guys who were using their Swappers for the weekend. The guy in black was probably Carter-- the dude had a lot of Puma gear, and it was possible he'd changed shirts at some point. Besides, it was hard to imagine anyone else scowling that hard. The blonde guy, however... that could be anyone.

"Uhh, hey... guys..." Aiden said, quickly learning that Nathan had a foot fetish. "You, uhhh... you also have a group project tomorrow or something?"

The blonde guy just laughed, closing his laptop as he stood up. "Oh, I've got a group project in mind, alright. I was just telling Carter here, even though both of us look like twinks, neither one of us are really bottoms. But with Nathan's body here, well... I think that solves our problem. Don't you?"

He nodded, following wordlessly after the two men as they entered the nearby library room for more privacy. Just enjoy the ride, Preston had said. Aiden suspected he was going to be doing a lot of riding tonight.

[artist-issues]

Are those constellations? Drawn on the wall, supposedly in Lilo’s room? With Hawaiian names?

No. It is important to me that people understand. No.

Lilo has carefully decided-upon interests. Don’t you guys think it’s interesting that in the original movie they could have said, “hey, the little girl is going to have her life invaded by outer space aliens; why don’t we make her an outer space enthusiast?” but they didn’t?

Have you ever wondered why that is? Because again, somebody had to choose what would decorate her room. People had to decide what her interests would be. Ever wondered why they picked what they did?

Partly it’s because Chris Sanders likes fun creepiness and dark silly stuff.

But also, Lilo is a character who’s wrapped up in wanting to have someone who stays.

So she takes pictures of tourists, as if they’re “fascinating creatures” even though they’re people like her. Why do you think that is? It’s because she knows they’re leaving. She’s 7 and she knows that there are people who come to her town specifically to leave. So she treats them like exotic anomalies. Because she doesn’t want the “norm” to be “people leave.”

Also, she’s supposed to add onto her desire for people to stay a certain characteristic called “loneliness.” She doesn’t have friends. Why doesn’t she have friends? Because she’s bizarre. She’s a little weird. She likes making voodoo experiments and she makes up stories about fish controlling the weather and she makes up wacky names.

So the two ingredients you have that make up this little girl are:

Is lonely and wants people to stay in her little world.

Is a little weird and has weird interests.

Her room’s not decorated with “OUT THERE, AWAY FROM EVERYTHING SHE KNOWS” stuff because Lilo doesn’t have an interest in the “world outside of Hawaii,” as a place. Lilo loves her own little world. Her favorite singer isn’t a flashy new one, it’s Elvis, ol’ reliable. Her room is decorated with fish. And fishing nets. And seashells.

She’s not a Hawaiian bored with Hawaii but excited about the literal-furthest-place-you-could-go-from-Hawaii, OUTER SPACE. She’s NOT.

She loves her own little world, and she wants everyone she loves to stay in it, because her parents just died. Just left, out of her life, forever. When we meet her, she’s not a character with dreams who needs someone to believe in her or validate her. That’s other characters. It’s not LILO. Lilo is a character who needs Stitch because she’s lonely and she’s lost people and she’s not easy to love, herself. She’s not a character who needs Stitch the way Ariel needs Eric. Jeez.

She’s a desperate-to-STAY-faithful-and-have-others-STAY-with-her character. Not an “Out There” character.

And that stuffed animal? Lilo does not do pink poodles.

[xtramaletf]

My Friend Borrowed my Dad

Dammit my dad is looking way too hot again! I should never have agreed to let Paulos borrow my dad’s body!

A few weeks ago, my best friend, Paulos, called me over to his house, excited to show me something he’d bought from the internet. Turns out it was some sort of “swapper” device that let him, well, swap traits around on people without them noticing. His model was apparently “premium” and allowed him to determine exactly who would know which swaps had occurred and how the world perceived those changes.. Everyone else would be none the wiser. Actually, it was only after we’d been talking for a while that he revealed he’d swapped my clothing with his baby brother when I got there! I swore that my whole life I’d worn nothing but onesies and diapers even if I was perfectly potty trained and it was normal for his baby brother to be wearing a graphic tee and jeans! After he switched us back I realized how stupid I’d probably looked and sounded arguing in only a diaper and a pacifier around my neck!

It’d been a pretty wild ride since then, we’ve been in the forms and lives of professors, threatening our friends with bad grades; cheered for the football team from our own bodies as varsity girl’s cheerleaders; and even spent a very weird day as dogs everyone else regarded as people (they could even understand our barks!). Anyway, one day Paulos really wanted to borrow my dad’s body. I had no idea why he’d want to be in the body of a middle aged man, but he had some kind of explanation about wanting to use his “perceived age” but also “wanted the complete look” or something. I should have probably just said no, but you see the problem was I had a huge crush on Paulos so I couldn’t really say no to him. 

Well now I find out his family and he are on vacation in SF and I definitely saw my dad’s body walking in a “Leather Daddy Catwalk” on Paulos's story. As disturbing as that was, it’s not as bad as having to live with my crush’s body right next to me for the next two weeks! Even my dad’s manspreading while watching TV is unbearable now!

[for-mer-ly-clanswapper]

i still think this arc sounds cool

[narratwoda]

Something something WordGirl power swap AU something.

[teammateswap-au]

hey guys.

[blu3b1rd]

Skytober day 7; Water! [Freeze Blade]

I dont have a specific favorite water skylander, but I have always enjoyed this guy!!

OG skytober post by hungry-skeleton for anyone who wants to do it!

[unofskylanderspages]

Seen above: Enchanted Hoot Loop's toy figure

[front-facing-pokemon]

[weaveandwood]

I’m sorry I’m so thirsty for The Viper it has come out of nowhere and consumed me body and soul.

[gradexmovies]

[basicallyanotherwitchesthing]

Adam (The Man's Home Companion!), Vol. 13 No. 1, Knight Publishing, January 1969 (cover girl Kathryn Dix)