#the stinkiest farts

[bikerwizard4ever]

my cat let out a stinker again

[butchlesbian]

An angel appeared before me and called me stinky.

[orcelito]

I would give anything for my little Tally. I've absolutely loved seeing her personality again. I love hearing her yowling at 2 am. This is not sarcasm, I genuinely do. She's such a baby. I went to the bathroom without her so she's crying out to the whole apartment trying to find where I went. So I call back to her, and then I hear her meows Approaching... and then she's with me once more, here to shadow me, bc she loves sitting next to me while I'm on the toilet. She was sitting next to me while I was folding laundry, too. She's such a sweet baby and I love her so much.

She's the cat that I mentioned was curled up on my lap and purring earlier. SUCH a sweetheart.

[loverboybrightsideghost]

THIS IS THE FART EPISODE

[dogtiber]

stinky sleepy sighthound

[byjove]

I’ve had a really difficult week with my mental health. This evening my cat spontaneously crawled onto my chest and sat there and purred while I held her head in my hand and petted behind her ears and I was thinking “I love you so much it makes my heart heavy. So often you are my only friend, my only reason for being. Your love for me makes me feel like I may be someone worthy and good. I don’t know what I’d do without you.” like, really having a moment, so comforted by this little animal. And then she let out the stinkiest nastiest most heinous fart.

[rikosseen]

The triple threat hc

As per @yuri018 ‘s request

Manager kim

- Lowkey insecure for not being able to pamper you financially

- This man loves when you get all up in his personal space - be it cuddling, kissing him spontaneously etc

- Will try to initiate kisses, but end up looking like a dead fish due to his hesitation

- Limited experience, so you have to be patient with this baby. Though, he’s a very fast learner

- Fast with his hands and fingers (as seen with his CQC) Take that how you will

- Will observe the things you like, and make mental notes

- Flustered very easily when things are done for him (will never show it)

- Enjoys cooking for you, and spending quality time

- Finds it endearing when you trace over his scars and wounds

- This man is extremely ticklish, and will try to act nonchalant about it

- Loves to listen to you talk- zones out everything and just stares

- Kim subconsciously reaches out for you, always trying to feel for your presence

Jincheol Park

- This absolutely devious man loves squishing you between his biceps

- Adores seeing you struggle beneath him, or whenever he’s cuddling you

- Man has some size kink because he always wants to compare hand sizes

- Will make sexual jokes openly, and loudly

- Loves to embarrass you out in public because you get all flustered and mad

- Wants your attention 24/7, and will whinge when you deny him what he deserves

- Loves to get massaged by you, and loves to massage you back. Though, it never ends well. Take that how you will

- Bridal style, piggy backs, estonian style, fireman’s carry- It doesn’t matter. Jincheol just wants to hold you up in the air

- Will initiate a mating dance because he thinks it’s necessary and manly

- Sleeps shirtless, and encourages you to do so too

- Farts and schmits a lot- they be the stinkiest too

- Feels guilty for worrying you, but at the same time, loves the attention he’s getting

Hansu Seong

Hansu Seong

- At your beck and call

- Will talk about you whenever he gets the chance - “my partner… my partner.. My partner...”

- Loves to cook for, and with you

- Favourite thing to do is give you his undivided attention

- If he gets caught up in something where he has to be away from you for a while, this man will run rampant and lose his schmit.

- Loves to play with the kids in the dojo with you

- He’ll think you’re upset with him if you limit your physical touch

- Very well educated with beauty products, so self care nights are a big thing in the Seong household

- Likes it when you play with his hair- brushing it, drying it etc

- Wants to be able to give you the finer things in life, so often times, Hansu feel guilty for not having the money

- Loves to take pictures of you with his digital camera- knows the best angles, and has a whole physical photo album dedicated to you

- Hansu has plenty of hobbies, and he dedicates his art to you (poems, paintings etc)

[l3irdl3rain]

can you do a smell ranking of your cats? of my two cats one smells great (like hay for some reason) and the other smells really weird (like old sneakers).

I'm gonna be honest and say none of my current cats really have much of an odor. Kenny is probably the "stinkiest" and it's only because he has the smelliest breath. Every once in awhile Petunia has a bowel movement that smells god awful. Arthur probably smells the best right now because I used a waterless shampoo on him recently.

I have had my fair share of stinky cats though. Anders was the worst. Dude's poop smelled like something died inside him and he was constantly farting.

[clocainiac]

HERE COMES THE WLW!!! This was a request from Ao3 for Wembley Greasedinah headcanons so i hope i can feed yall! these headcanons are based off of lilianna and lara’s version because look at the cuties, no look at them, YOU AREN’T LOOKING! ALSO loads of these headcanons are gross and weird because i want them to be, i just love making horrendous headcanons for my favourite characters, the more i love them the grosser the headcanons! ALSO ALSO big thanks to @dove-bunny-love for inspiring some of these!

GREASEDINAH:

- Greaseball and Dinah both fight with their bangs every fucking day like i’m talking WW3 type shit, they will both be in the bathroom crashing out as they try making the perfect bang ratio, its the most stressful bonding experience you can imagine as they try to convince eachother their bangs look perfect.

- Also while they are working together if there’s the slightest hint of wind and their bangs lift up, Greaseball will start cussing out the sky, just verbally assaulting the clouds and all the other coaches have to listen in awkwardness as Dinah comforts GB.

- GB is the prime suspect for stinking out the sheds with body spray, you can always tell where she’s been because she sweats Lynx body spray, SPECIFICALLY the Africa scent. Tassita and Belle will go to the Coaches Shed after a long day at work and just get absolutely gassed by the GreaseMonster sitting on their sofa. GB always has a full stock as-well since the trains at the yard never know what to buy her for Christmas so she gets 50 million Africa Lynx sets.

- Dinah on the other hand smells gorgeous either imagine sugar cookings with a hint of vanilla OR bubblegum by Moschino. Also when Dinah first went for a ‘sleepover’ ;) in GB’s shed she found her 5 in 1 gel and the Lynx bottle army. Dinah was horrified, since then she forced GB to buy separate products for hair and body but GB still doesn’t grasp the problem with her 5 in 1.

- I’m sorry not sorry GB lovers (I swear I do like GB I just give them the nastiest head canons because they are the nasty) BUT GB has the stinkiest, eye watering, gag evoking farts known to man. It’s sulphuric hell, just straight up toilet stench and she DGAF! GB is a straight up villain as-well because unless Dinah is behind her she will crop dust like no tomorrow. ‘This is my back view and it’s all you’ll see?’ no buddy it’s what we can all smell; Dinahs farts literally smell like roses and world peace because she is PERFECT and you LEAVE HER ALONE!

- When it’s root cover up season, GB and Dinah both have to take a weekend off work because it’s a hands on affair. GB can mostly get away with being less precise with dying her hair but Dinah’s has to be PERFECT, like she will spend 12 hours just perfectly separating her hair before she can even use a hint of dye.

- Not only that but the will shed turns into a modern art project with multicoloured splats everywhere which Dinah has tried everything to get it out of the walls and furniture but to no avail so she leaves it up to interpretation for guests.

- The moment Dinah breaches her and GB’s shed, Dinah’s makeup, hair and clothes get shredded off. There’s a humongous pile of bobby pins and elastics on Dinah’s vanity as she meticulously pulls out each one, if GB comes back in time she will skate up behind Dinah and do it for her with so much care, that Dinah can’t help the tears that wet her eyes.

- When GB finally undoes Dinah’s buns and can successfully run her calloused fingers through Dinah’s hair without any snags, she gives Dinah the best head massage you could imagine. She hits all the right spots and the ache of the day just melts away.

- GB is really bad at communication, as in she can’t articulate her feelings properly which is why she’s so rash and reckless because that’s how she feels heard. This means that instead of telling Dinah how she feels she will avoid the question and start talking about something else so it’s like a riddle for Dinah to get the bottom of a problem with GB.

-Also sometimes GB just responds to Dinah verbally with emojis instead of having a conversation. For example Dinah will say “I’m thinking of baking something, maybe some cookies?” and GB will respond with “Thumbs up, Smiley face, Heart” So Dinah is stood there like wtf are you saying…ALSO GB is the most nonchalant texter ever like she will respond with ‘k’ and ‘sure’ constantly which drives Dinah CRAZY.

- GB chews everything, like straws so whenever her and Dinah try to romantically share drinks it gets ruined because the straw has been chewed so much you can barely suck anything out of it. And GB scrans paper. That’s it. No but seriously when GB is bored and reading something (which is rare) she will just start eating the corners of the paper or rolling them into mini toothpicks. So when Dinah picks up sticky notes or letters around the house all the corners will be missing and suspiciously wet.

- Although GB acts tough in the yard she is the fattest snugglebug in the world! The moment it hits 10pm Dinah gets dragged into the bedroom, undressed for skin to skin, then forced onto the bed so GB can entangle their bodies together. Not even for sexual reasons, she just loves being close to her. Many mornings, Dinah will wake up to a mullet in her face as GB’s face is smooshed into her boobs.

- Dinah loves bath time and her personal space! Turns out GB loves these things too! If GB actually realises she’s made Dinah upset, GB will make her a hot bubbly bath with a couple candles (that totally didn’t go wrong while lighting them…) Dinah can’t help but giggle and swoon as she soaks and GB will sit on the toilet nattering with her. I think these two are suckers for the simple domestics.

- There’s always lipstick marks on them! Even a simple kiss on the cheek means a big smudge of either yellow or hot pink/red. Currently GB and Dinah haven’t found a solution or compromise for this, so they just suck it up and go with the flow meaning when they have their rendezvous it’s very, very obvious.

- Whilst Dinahs baking, GB makes it her personal challenge to eat as much of the batter as possible before it gets cooked. This means that if Dinah goes for a two second toilet break she will come to half the batter gone and GB smacking her lips together like a dog with peanut butter as she tries to swallow the evidence. Dinah has warned her about the effects of salmonella but come on this is GB we are talking about she dgaf!

- This is a really silly one but the thought of it made me giggle so hard, you know that video of the Pizza Hut worker who cinched their apron really tight while doing the K. Howard trend from SIX? Yeah Dinah does that every time with her apron and GB still can’t figure out how.

- Cunty eyelashes to the max. You heard me, GB and Dinah have a huge drawer just dedicated to lashes and there is every lash imaginable (even glitter, or multicoloured ones!)

- Sometimes GB will just forget she’s a woman, she will start scratching her ‘balls’ and Dinah will look at her disgusted. In response GB goes “What my balls itch?” And Dinah will have to awkwardly remind her she doesn’t have any.

- Guys I promise I don’t hate GB I just want to squeeze her so tight her head falls off her shoulders. I actually love her sm I want to crush her and Dinah and then use them as play doh.

[yoshizilla-rhedosaurus]

Cave Story's Curly Brace and Quote farting in tubas together by by r3draynb0w is definitely the stinkiest fashion to display both of these stinkers filling up their smelly jeans to the brim with their deep pitched brassy braps!

[nomnomnomvore]

Scream (And huff)

So I've finally given in and wrote crimes against nature (and Miguel's ass). All thanks to those Ghostface pics.

I would like to apologize to the ATSV fandom and wish y'all a happy Halloween. Stay safe and I hope you enjoy this mess.

(WARNING: Fart stuff ahead. If you're into it, feel free to keep reading. If not, stay away.)

You let out a small groan as you started to return back to yourself, trying to recall the events that happened before you lost consciousness. You were getting ready for a Halloween movie marathon before you got a call from a stranger asking you odd things: Your name, if you were alone, if you had a boyfriend. Again, weird, but as the call continued, you swore you heard the sound of a small, bubbly explosion before a toxic, putrid smell filled your nose.

And that’s when you passed out, only to find yourself here laying on the couch, with your view becoming clearer as the seconds passed slowly. However, that didn’t explain why you suddenly felt something heavy on your chest.

“I see you’re finally awake.”

You could hear Miguel’s serious yet oddly teasing voice flowing into your ears as your eyes widened at the sudden sight of his ass close to your face. Sure, it was mostly covered in dark clothing due to the black cloak he was wearing, but even that wasn’t doing a good job at hiding how large his behind truly was.

And neither how bad it stank due to his musk. You were sure that, if your view was clearer, you could’ve seen the stench fuming out of his asscrack.

“I was a bit worried that tiny sample of my gas I gave you earlier would’ve been too much for that weak nose of yours, but then again, I wouldn’t be here to begin with if that was the case.” Miguel snarked, making you gulp loudly at his words. The smell of his ass seemed to become more sickening now that you knew it wasn’t pure musk. The sudden groans and gurgles coming from the man’s stomach only made your terror rise up. It sounded like a demon growling from the depths of Hell.

GGGGGGGRRRRRRRRRRRRRRNNNNNNNNNNN!!

And through all the noise, and your mind still stuck in a foggy daze, you could see a mischievous red glint in Miguel’s eyes as he wiggled his fat butt a bit.

“Even with all the signs I’ve left around this place like the rooms smelling awful, and your bathroom being a bit…Well, messier than usual, you must still be confused, right?” He chuckled softly. “Whether the case is, I think you already figured out what’s going to happen.”

bbbbbbbbbBBBBBBBBBBBBRRRRRRRRRRRRRRPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPFFFFFFFFFFTTTTTTTTTTMMMMMMMMMMMMMPPPPPPPPPPPPOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTttttfffFFfFffRrRrRRrRRRRRRRUUUUUUUUUUUPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPTTTTTTTTTTTT!!

You could feel your hair being blown back as if you were using the world’s hottest, loudest and stinkiest hair dryer as Miguel released a strong, bassy and rumbling fart towards you. In less than a second, you felt your eyes and nose being fried thanks to the stench of rotten meat and unfiltered sewer as you gagged in disgust and fear, trying to break yourself free and escape. Once that fart came to an end after a few seconds, Miguel sighed softly as he fanned the smell of his gas towards you.

“Mm, hope you enjoyed that one. Oh what’s that? You’re trying to escape?” He said calmly as he watched you squirm like a worm before you took notice that your wrists were tied against each other with the phone cord you had in your hands a while ago before your nose was suddenly assaulted by Miguel’s foul gas filling your room, causing you to fall unconscious. You panted heavily as you looked up at his bright, crimson eyes. “Yeah, good luck trying to break yourself free. I made sure to tie that phone cord around your hands tight enough so that you won’t try anything funny. But hey, on the bright side, that means you’ll get to huff up more of what I have in store for you~”

bbbbBBbbBbbBbbbrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrRRRRRRRRRPPPPPPPPPPLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!

VVVVVVVVVVVVRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRUUUUUUUUUUUUMMMMMMMMMMMMPPPPPPPPRRRRRLLLLLLRRRRPPPPPPPPSSSTTTRRRRRPPPPpppppp…ppppppfffFFFRTRTTRTRRRRT!!

This time, Miguel let out two farts that, while were somewhat shorter, did not shy away from the smell at all. In fact, they seemed to stink even worse, having a foul stench of rotten eggs that made your eyes water as you coughed without control. Even with the toxic green fog filling your view, you could see Miguel’s cloak lifting up with each explosive stinker he let out, giving you a pleasant view of his plumpy behind. To be frank, the weight of his ass alone was probably enough to leave you immobilized under him.

“Ahhh…Ay dios, do you have any idea how tough it is to hold all of these farts in? Almost makes me feel like a balloon about to pop.” He sighed deeply while patting his tummy, inching his ass closer to your face to the point your nose was wedged perfectly between his buttcheeks. You whimpered as your eyes rolled back, still in denial at how bad the smell was now that it was up close and personal. The spot between his cheeks felt so gross and swampy. “Good thing I called you tonight. I would’ve filled the whole neighborhood with my farts if I didn’t found you, so you better sniff it all up~”

PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPRRRRRRRRVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!

Now that Miguel was literally using your face as a makeshift cushion, and your hands were completely tied up, you were entirely helpless as he kept torturing you with his noxious gas. It didn’t matter the sound or length of it, none of his farts were pleasant as they overwhelmed each one of your senses. You could taste the nasty flavor of rotten spicy food in your tongue, your eyes were steaming thanks to the intense heat and your nose felt runny as it was in pure agony with each rumbly toot Miguel let out. His ass even seemed to vibrate each time he let loose.

fffffFFFFFBBRRrrrbbBBPPLLBBPPPTTTT!

BBLLRRRRRRRRRfffrrrbbbBBBBBBFFFFPPTTTT!

PPPPPPPPPPPPPPpppppllllLLLLLLRRRRRRRNNNBBBBBBBBPPPPPPPPPTTTTTTTTTTT!!

“Nnn…Ugh, fuchi. You need to do a better job back there, it stinks~” Miguel taunted as he rubbed his ass all over your face, making sure his stench would never leave you and your nose. A frown appeared on his face as he saw you try to pull yourself away before he used a hand to push you deeper into his crack despite your whines that were drowned by the sounds of his noisy belly.

PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBRRRRRRSSSSSSSSTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!

vvvvvvvvbbbbbbrrrrrrrrfffrrrrrrrrlllllllllrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrRRRRRRRRRRRRRPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!

…And his swampy, juicy farts.

“Mmmnn, oof, that one felt a bit wet at the end…Really hope I didn’t stain anything.” He moaned as he playfully stuck out his tongue, teasingly fanning a hand in front of his face even if the stench of his disgusting gas was barely affecting him. “Hm, I think I heard you asking for more, didn’t you?”

Your eyes suddenly widened as you tried to shake your head. Your protests only muffled since your face was still wedged between the man’s killer asscheeks. Chuckling softly, Miguel simply lifted the back of his coat and placed your head under it before pushing you back into his crack, and with a loud grunt…

BBBBRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMBBBBPPFFFFBBBBBFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFLLLLRRRRRRRRRRRRRRBBBRRRRRBBLLRBBBBRRRLRLLLLRRRBBBBPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPBBBBBBBBBBBBBBPPPPPPPPPTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!

He unleashed the nastiest fart of the evening. The stench completely shutting you down as you were reduced from panicked pleas to low whines and tired moans. You could feel Miguel’s asscheeks clapping against your face, like you were being hit repeatedly by a pair of stinky pillows that were stuffed to the brim with skunk fur. The smell of this fart was akin to a whole dumpster filled to the brim with used diapers and roadkill being set on fire, and then the charred remains were thrown away into a filthy sewer full of rancid waste. Even then, however, it was a miracle how that fart wasn’t enough to kill you. Sure, your nose was experiencing what was probably the closest thing Hell would smell like, but at least you didn’t go deaf by the sounds or became a goopy puddle due to the stench and intense heat.

Regardless if you were still kicking or not, by the time the 15 seconds of Miguel’s fart bomb  finally came to an end, you were completely numb and motionless. Your eyes were red and on the brink of shutting down, your hair was a total mess, and your face was covered in sweat; having an odd mix of color between green and red. Green because you were absolutely nauseous by the ungodly stench of Miguel’s nasty musk and yucky farts, and red because…

Because…You prefer to not think about it. Less so in your current situation.

Much to your relief, however, Miguel lifted up his cloak; finally freeing you from the hellish dutch oven he created.

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPPPPPPTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!

Although, that didn’t stop him from releasing another eggy stench bomb all over you. Your eyes rolled back into your head before Miguel finally got off from your body. Despite the fact you were an inch from falling unconscious, you couldn’t take your sight away from his large, jiggly ass. His black robes were still doing a bit of a poor job in hiding his cheeks as he took a whiff of the putrid stench filling the air, only for him to cough as he waved a hand in front of his nose.

“Dios, que hedor. I think something I ate definitely didn’t sit well with me, because I'm sure I broke a record with that.” Miguel chuckled. “But sadly, that’s all I had in me. Too bad, really. I was starting to have fun…Oh well, guess that means your nose will be spared for tonight, but you can’t fool me. I can tell you loved this~”

You were too exhausted to respond to Miguel's cheeky comment as you watched him stretch a bit, getting ready to finally leave you be. He even untied your wrists, figuring that since you were in such a weak state, you wouldn’t even attempt to fight him. Regardless, you couldn’t help but let out a sigh of relief at the fact this seemed to come to an end.

guuuuuuuuuuuUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLlllllrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr….!!

“Gh!!”

But then, your eyes widened in pure horror as you watched Miguel clutching his stomach, which was gurgling and rumbling ominously like an active volcano ready to explode. 

“On second thought, it seems I still have one more left in here. Make sure to enjoy it. I know I will~” Miguel said with a smirk before bending over slightly to show off more of his plumpy ass. The sounds of his belly blurbing were deafening as he grunted while clenching his fists. “HhHNGH!”

FFFFFFFFFFBBBBBLloOooOoooooOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRUUUuuUuUuUuUuuummMMMMMbbbbbbbbBBBBBBBBBMMMMMMMPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUBBBBBBBBBbpLpRRrRbbBlLLlrrrPBBpLbPPPpPPpprrrrrRRRRRLbBpBOOOORRRRRMRMBRRPLIOOOOOORBRRPLRRRRRPPPPPTTTT…BBBRRRRRMMMMMMMMMMPPPPPPPTTTTTTTTTT!!!!

You didn’t even have time to let out a sound before you were blasted by that massive nuke of a fart that shook the entire foundations of the house and even knocked down a few stuff from the furniture. The paint from the walls even started to peel off due to the ungodly stench that your brain couldn’t comprehend, because no words in the human vocabulary would be enough to describe the hellish miasma Miguel was releasing, making one last dent to your already feeble sense of smell while he stuck out his tongue in a teasing way; clearly enjoying the sensation of relief that fart was giving him.

After only 30 seconds, which for you felt like hours, the gas finally stopped flowing out from his backside as you started to lose consciousness while lying limp on the couch. The whole room was filled to the brim with a noxious, brown, rancid fog that wouldn’t look too out of place in a horror movie, and as you watched Miguel put on his white, screaming mask and leave the scene (alongside his nasty, fat butt), you could hear him say some last words before you passed out.

“Feliz Halloween~ See you next year~”

FFFFFFRRRRRRRRTTT!

“Ahhh~”

[erikagrape]

sometimes when i read things on here about what you all imagine dan and phil do in private, like lovey dovey things, it makes me laugh.

i mean it's cute but also so romanticised.

in reality when you're in a long term relationship you'll just have a cute moment, snuggled together, reach up for a little peck on the lips, and then one of you will just lay off the loudest, stinkiest fart.

that's reality right there.

[ewesless]

💨💀 Headcanons!

@5mary5

Okay so this is my dirty secret forbidden crack. Here there be talk about bad gas out the ass (I can't find that legendary tumblr post, but if I do I will edit this post.) Edit: As promised! No wonder I couldn't find it :( I bless old chats, thank you old chats.

Mine will be the opposite with the characters breaking the taboo with MC!

MC: Somehow they have never done this in front of anyone. Is it magic? Superhuman levels of self control? Nay, it's because they are a sheep plushie. Laughs at farts because they are pretty immature and like crude humor. So this will be their reaction!

Lucifer: Only in the sanctuary of the bathroom, but he does alone in his room or office. He has the tightest control and the stick up in there helps a bit. Even dead asleep he has ironclad hold over his sphincter. Mammon and the Anti-Lucifer League have tried to cause him to with gas causing food and drinks, but even curses, spells and hexes failed. Does he even fart or is that why he's so cranky all the time? Scolds MC for being immature and regularly chews out his brothers for being vulgar. Strings anyone up by the heels who would have the audacity to fart in front of Diavolo because it makes Diavolo lol and Barbatos looks at him like he's commit a heinous offense.

Mammon: Will hold someone down and fart on them, aka his brothers, by that I mean Levi. He would be embarrassed for letting one slip in front of MC, but when he finds out it makes them laugh and they're okay with it he's relaxes and won't worry about letting them out. Intentionally low pressure ones though and tries to be quiet about it. Will tap Luke someone else on the shoulder and say, "Guess what?" And then fart!! He fooled Luke and Little D. no. 2 with the "pull my finger" trick.

Leviathan: Rancid, third stinkiest because of his food choices and because he will hold his bowels during binge sessions and speed runs. His headphones have advanced noise cancelling now because he was having a gas attack from anxiety during an game night against MC, Diavolo and Barbatos (Because Barbatos was curbstomping him) so all of a sudden he is gifted these fancy headphones??? He doesn't connect the dots because he thought his old pair had good cancelling. When MC is hanging out with him he'll apologize only if they're audible or noticeably stinky. He thought the reason MC was laughing their ass off that fateful game night because he was so funny...

Satan: Third stinkiest. He's accustomed to being alone in his room so when he's reading in the library and wants to be left alone he will rip ass. It smells like a litter box in his room sometimes, but he blames it on Mammon's cooking rather than the cats he is able to smuggle in. He doesn't fart intentionally in front of MC, but he isn't bothered by it when he does because it's a normal bodily function so wht would he be? That's illogical.

Asmodeus: you would not catch him DEAD. He gets an upset stomach occasionally from fad dieting so he takes stomach medicine when he does, but he's an "exclusively in the bathroom" type. He will whenever he's alone though, but he resents it. He thinks his gas smells the least offensive and he's right!

Beelzebub: The stinkiest of stinkies. They have power behind them too, like gale force hurricanes (not really, but you could swear it) when he has eaten certain food. He does not hold back but he does apologize when he belches and farts.

Belphegor: Second stinkiest, silent but deadlies. No apologies, no remorse because he's lazy and his rear is just as lazy and it's a natural bodily function. He uses them to troll his brothers too, but he always gets a particular smirk when he does and they are a creeping death so if someone is observant or wary enough (like Lucifer) they will escape the room.

Diavolo: He got caught off guard by one in front of MC once and it snuck past his defenses unhindered. He almost died from embarrassment and MC almost died from trying not to laugh about it. After that he was profusely apologetic, but MC told him it was fine as they laughed and soon Diavolo was laughing with them. He's always extremely polite and socially graceful about even a stomach gurgle because he has an image (and a Barbatos who is always protecting and enforcing that image) he has trained himself to have an incredible ability to hold them in. (The chat where he had the leg cramp supports this) So when he catches a moment between public appearances or meetings to escape to the bathroom he has to make the most of the opportunity. He farts for funnies in front of Lucifer when they've been drinking because one time he did and Lucifer was so aghast by his gas that he let out a scoff-laugh of disbelief and amusement that the Devildom Prince just did that. Diavolo is hellbent on hearing that cute reaction again and uses it at unexpected moments like a ninja flashbang. With MC he feels like he doesn't have to feel the pressure to be seen as perfect and occasional fartiness (usually when Barbatos is on a kick with certain foods) is just part of him that he can be himself without fear of judgement with them about.

Barbatos: My MC would be in a long term battle of wills against anyone, but particularly Barbatos. They will not fart. He will not fart. No one has given ground in the ?(?) years they have known each other. The reason why? One time he passed gas in front of them and was so ashamed because of looking anything less than completely perfect, flawless and in control that he edited the timeline. He will go so far as to summon portals and step into pocket dimensions to fart.

Luke: Holds them and excuses himself to the bathroom because he's a polite and well mannered boy (in some ways...) and it would reflect negatively on Michael and Simeon for him to do that. If he tooted (his words) in front of MC he would be upset about being gross or uncool in front of them, but MC would reassure him everyone does and that it was kinda funny though, wasn't it? Well ;n; I guess it kinda was... never again.

Simeon: He doesn't exactly hold them back, but he doesn't exactly let them out either. These situations do call for discretion, but he gives it away even if it was overlooked because he laughs a little and apologizes every time. In front of MC it makes him embarrassed, but when he realizes they make MC laugh he's more inclined to be relaxed and might do it for funnies.

Solomon: He has a category of his own. His food may not affect him, but it does affect the smell of his farts. At PH his room smells like absolute rotten ass unless Simeon rushes and airs it out whenever Solomon leaves it because he keeps the door shut and locked and often stays in their a whole day or more. Like Leviathan he'll be busy or distracted and in flow state with his research and magic and not use the bathroom. He can go in the woods no difficulty because he has magic to assist (not like HP wizards though. The man has sensibilities and couth.) He knew MC laughs at farts by observing their reactions to others so sometimes he'll say, "Hey MC." to get their attention and then rip one and laugh with them. During routine inspections of Cocytus Hall Barbatos actually casts a spell on his nose and mouth because of the foul and despicable sham of a sorcerer's fecal particles saturate the air.

Raphael: Because he eats a variety of foods but also regularly eats Solomon's food his are a subcategory of Solomon's. He does not make an expression or reaction and noone else does either because even his farts convey threat and the danger of his rain of spears.

Mephistopheles: When he was a young Demon he was even more anxious about looking good in front of Diavolo and impressing him. He did fart in front of him once and was so mortified that he vowed to never do something so disgraceful again. Will not ever fart in front of MC.

Thirteen: THIS IS THE REASON SHE HATES SOLOMON SO MUCH. She got a severe upset stomach from his food and actually thought about 100 new death traps to murder him with. That was the only reason she didn't kill him on the spot bacause the silver lining was those 100 traps! She would sooner hide out until the extinction of all life before she would pass gas in front of MC or anyone. The number one and only who adheres to the in the bathroom!!!

These are inspired by real life! Especially Mammon and Solomon.

[little-ghostgirl-31]

Think you the shit? Bitch? You not even a fart

Reyno solis antsy

-100 y/o + only / cursing (🙀) / only for those who know / 999999999999+ spice level 🥵🌶️

Fic request by @radkatzzstuff

Reyno was sitting in the cafeteria in the cohorts when he heard this nasty ass Bleach blonde, bad built butch body hoe talking shit about him from behind his back. Reyno, knowing he was not about to take this shit. Especially from a girl named ‘Emily’. Tf? Like, ain’t no way this bitch really think she can talk when her hair is so blonde she looks bald and you can’t see her eyebrow. Especially since she had a stupid ass slick back bun. She was for real feeling her self into, which is really confident for someone who was wearing tight ass lululemon leggings that were way too small, and a purple shirt. Like…

“ excuse me?! What the actual fuck did you just say about me? “ reyno said, walking up to this jackass. “ oh! Guys looks it’s the furry!! Ha!” Emily said. By the way she said that I can tell that she doesn’t take showers and only uses ten dollar five and bellow Sol de Janeiro knock off as a way to cover up her green aura.

“ oh hell no “ reyno said clenching his fists, holding back everything he had to not slap this bitch in the face. “ you really think your the shit-… “

Reyno said before cutting himself off, he knew he could go off on her, but he also knew damn well that this bitch would run and tell her mum. “ you’re not even a shart!! “ reyno said, biting his lip trying not to laugh. Of course that was a crazy ass come back but it would have to do the job.

Emily’s eyes widened, she was not expecting that. She stayed slightly for a moment before smirking, knowing what the she was gonna say back “ do I think I’m the shit? Of course I’m the shit, I’m the biggest, stinkiest, wettest shit you’ve ever seen!! “

…

She really thought she ate saying that. Reyno raised his eye brow, forget what the first thing, that’s the most crazy come back ever. Damn. “ okay bitch, since you the shit, guess Ima have to flush you, hoe “ reyno responded while grabbing her hair and dragging her to the bathroom. Emily screaming and kicked her legs like a spoiled child. She cried so loud, reyno was getting on his last nerve. “ if you keep crying I’m going to make it worse, I swear to the gods. “ reyno mutters, rolling his eyes

As soon as as reyno made it to the bathroom, he stuffed her into the toilet. Leaving only her head to be seen, as the rest of her body was down the drain, like skibidi toilet. Reyno flushed her down and she screamed “ Nick Eh 30 freaky fanum tax Let him cook tiktok rizz party Thick of it i like my cheese drippy bruh 💀💀 Quandale never fails to ice spice mrbeast kai cenat 😂😂😂😂 Ishowspeed !!!!!!!!!!! “

Reyno rolled his eyes as he started to walk away, but then out of no where. The toilet exploded, a large shit monster crawling from out of it “ IM THE SHITTER BUNNY IM THE SHITTER BUNNY, IM THE SHITTER BUNNY IM THE SHITTER BUNNY !!!!!!!!!!!!!! “ the monster crawled onto the walls with all fours, chasing reyno. But then from heaven. Big dick Randy came and snatched the shitter bunnies ass. Leaving reyno unharmed. Happily ever after

[microfascist]

God gives the stinkiest farts to the cutest babies (my beautiful infant son)

[nerianasims]

Callie has a low white blood cell count, so the vet has to get that up before doing surgery, and also did a blood panel on her to check for illnesses. Good news: Callie does not have anything bad -- we were worried about feline leukemia since she was a stray for no one knows how long. So the low white blood cell count was likely due to stress and her tummy bug. Both of those are receding. Thank goodness, mostly so she is happier and healthier, but also this very elegant kitty had some of the stinkiest farts I have ever been subjected to.

Her white blood cell count will be checked again in 10 days, and hopefully the vet will be able to spay her very soon after that. She's probably gonna go through heat again, with these delays. But oh well, at least she's healthy.