#the stinkiest farts

[bikerwizard4ever]

my cat let out a stinker again

[butchlesbian]

An angel appeared before me and called me stinky.

[orcelito]

I would give anything for my little Tally. I've absolutely loved seeing her personality again. I love hearing her yowling at 2 am. This is not sarcasm, I genuinely do. She's such a baby. I went to the bathroom without her so she's crying out to the whole apartment trying to find where I went. So I call back to her, and then I hear her meows Approaching... and then she's with me once more, here to shadow me, bc she loves sitting next to me while I'm on the toilet. She was sitting next to me while I was folding laundry, too. She's such a sweet baby and I love her so much.

She's the cat that I mentioned was curled up on my lap and purring earlier. SUCH a sweetheart.

[loverboybrightsideghost]

THIS IS THE FART EPISODE

[dogtiber]

stinky sleepy sighthound

[byjove]

I’ve had a really difficult week with my mental health. This evening my cat spontaneously crawled onto my chest and sat there and purred while I held her head in my hand and petted behind her ears and I was thinking “I love you so much it makes my heart heavy. So often you are my only friend, my only reason for being. Your love for me makes me feel like I may be someone worthy and good. I don’t know what I’d do without you.” like, really having a moment, so comforted by this little animal. And then she let out the stinkiest nastiest most heinous fart.

[rikosseen]

The triple threat hc

As per @yuri018 ‘s request

Manager kim

- Lowkey insecure for not being able to pamper you financially

- This man loves when you get all up in his personal space - be it cuddling, kissing him spontaneously etc

- Will try to initiate kisses, but end up looking like a dead fish due to his hesitation

- Limited experience, so you have to be patient with this baby. Though, he’s a very fast learner

- Fast with his hands and fingers (as seen with his CQC) Take that how you will

- Will observe the things you like, and make mental notes

- Flustered very easily when things are done for him (will never show it)

- Enjoys cooking for you, and spending quality time

- Finds it endearing when you trace over his scars and wounds

- This man is extremely ticklish, and will try to act nonchalant about it

- Loves to listen to you talk- zones out everything and just stares

- Kim subconsciously reaches out for you, always trying to feel for your presence

Jincheol Park

- This absolutely devious man loves squishing you between his biceps

- Adores seeing you struggle beneath him, or whenever he’s cuddling you

- Man has some size kink because he always wants to compare hand sizes

- Will make sexual jokes openly, and loudly

- Loves to embarrass you out in public because you get all flustered and mad

- Wants your attention 24/7, and will whinge when you deny him what he deserves

- Loves to get massaged by you, and loves to massage you back. Though, it never ends well. Take that how you will

- Bridal style, piggy backs, estonian style, fireman’s carry- It doesn’t matter. Jincheol just wants to hold you up in the air

- Will initiate a mating dance because he thinks it’s necessary and manly

- Sleeps shirtless, and encourages you to do so too

- Farts and schmits a lot- they be the stinkiest too

- Feels guilty for worrying you, but at the same time, loves the attention he’s getting

Hansu Seong

Hansu Seong

- At your beck and call

- Will talk about you whenever he gets the chance - “my partner… my partner.. My partner...”

- Loves to cook for, and with you

- Favourite thing to do is give you his undivided attention

- If he gets caught up in something where he has to be away from you for a while, this man will run rampant and lose his schmit.

- Loves to play with the kids in the dojo with you

- He’ll think you’re upset with him if you limit your physical touch

- Very well educated with beauty products, so self care nights are a big thing in the Seong household

- Likes it when you play with his hair- brushing it, drying it etc

- Wants to be able to give you the finer things in life, so often times, Hansu feel guilty for not having the money

- Loves to take pictures of you with his digital camera- knows the best angles, and has a whole physical photo album dedicated to you

- Hansu has plenty of hobbies, and he dedicates his art to you (poems, paintings etc)

[l3irdl3rain]

can you do a smell ranking of your cats? of my two cats one smells great (like hay for some reason) and the other smells really weird (like old sneakers).

I'm gonna be honest and say none of my current cats really have much of an odor. Kenny is probably the "stinkiest" and it's only because he has the smelliest breath. Every once in awhile Petunia has a bowel movement that smells god awful. Arthur probably smells the best right now because I used a waterless shampoo on him recently.

I have had my fair share of stinky cats though. Anders was the worst. Dude's poop smelled like something died inside him and he was constantly farting.

[yoshizilla-rhedosaurus]

Cave Story's Curly Brace and Quote farting in tubas together by by r3draynb0w is definitely the stinkiest fashion to display both of these stinkers filling up their smelly jeans to the brim with their deep pitched brassy braps!

[erikagrape]

sometimes when i read things on here about what you all imagine dan and phil do in private, like lovey dovey things, it makes me laugh.

i mean it's cute but also so romanticised.

in reality when you're in a long term relationship you'll just have a cute moment, snuggled together, reach up for a little peck on the lips, and then one of you will just lay off the loudest, stinkiest fart.

that's reality right there.

[ewesless]

💨💀 Headcanons!

@5mary5

Okay so this is my dirty secret forbidden crack. Here there be talk about bad gas out the ass (I can't find that legendary tumblr post, but if I do I will edit this post.) Edit: As promised! No wonder I couldn't find it :( I bless old chats, thank you old chats.

Mine will be the opposite with the characters breaking the taboo with MC!

MC: Somehow they have never done this in front of anyone. Is it magic? Superhuman levels of self control? Nay, it's because they are a sheep plushie. Laughs at farts because they are pretty immature and like crude humor. So this will be their reaction!

Lucifer: Only in the sanctuary of the bathroom, but he does alone in his room or office. He has the tightest control and the stick up in there helps a bit. Even dead asleep he has ironclad hold over his sphincter. Mammon and the Anti-Lucifer League have tried to cause him to with gas causing food and drinks, but even curses, spells and hexes failed. Does he even fart or is that why he's so cranky all the time? Scolds MC for being immature and regularly chews out his brothers for being vulgar. Strings anyone up by the heels who would have the audacity to fart in front of Diavolo because it makes Diavolo lol and Barbatos looks at him like he's commit a heinous offense.

Mammon: Will hold someone down and fart on them, aka his brothers, by that I mean Levi. He would be embarrassed for letting one slip in front of MC, but when he finds out it makes them laugh and they're okay with it he's relaxes and won't worry about letting them out. Intentionally low pressure ones though and tries to be quiet about it. Will tap Luke someone else on the shoulder and say, "Guess what?" And then fart!! He fooled Luke and Little D. no. 2 with the "pull my finger" trick.

Leviathan: Rancid, third stinkiest because of his food choices and because he will hold his bowels during binge sessions and speed runs. His headphones have advanced noise cancelling now because he was having a gas attack from anxiety during an game night against MC, Diavolo and Barbatos (Because Barbatos was curbstomping him) so all of a sudden he is gifted these fancy headphones??? He doesn't connect the dots because he thought his old pair had good cancelling. When MC is hanging out with him he'll apologize only if they're audible or noticeably stinky. He thought the reason MC was laughing their ass off that fateful game night because he was so funny...

Satan: Third stinkiest. He's accustomed to being alone in his room so when he's reading in the library and wants to be left alone he will rip ass. It smells like a litter box in his room sometimes, but he blames it on Mammon's cooking rather than the cats he is able to smuggle in. He doesn't fart intentionally in front of MC, but he isn't bothered by it when he does because it's a normal bodily function so wht would he be? That's illogical.

Asmodeus: you would not catch him DEAD. He gets an upset stomach occasionally from fad dieting so he takes stomach medicine when he does, but he's an "exclusively in the bathroom" type. He will whenever he's alone though, but he resents it. He thinks his gas smells the least offensive and he's right!

Beelzebub: The stinkiest of stinkies. They have power behind them too, like gale force hurricanes (not really, but you could swear it) when he has eaten certain food. He does not hold back but he does apologize when he belches and farts.

Belphegor: Second stinkiest, silent but deadlies. No apologies, no remorse because he's lazy and his rear is just as lazy and it's a natural bodily function. He uses them to troll his brothers too, but he always gets a particular smirk when he does and they are a creeping death so if someone is observant or wary enough (like Lucifer) they will escape the room.

Diavolo: He got caught off guard by one in front of MC once and it snuck past his defenses unhindered. He almost died from embarrassment and MC almost died from trying not to laugh about it. After that he was profusely apologetic, but MC told him it was fine as they laughed and soon Diavolo was laughing with them. He's always extremely polite and socially graceful about even a stomach gurgle because he has an image (and a Barbatos who is always protecting and enforcing that image) he has trained himself to have an incredible ability to hold them in. (The chat where he had the leg cramp supports this) So when he catches a moment between public appearances or meetings to escape to the bathroom he has to make the most of the opportunity. He farts for funnies in front of Lucifer when they've been drinking because one time he did and Lucifer was so aghast by his gas that he let out a scoff-laugh of disbelief and amusement that the Devildom Prince just did that. Diavolo is hellbent on hearing that cute reaction again and uses it at unexpected moments like a ninja flashbang. With MC he feels like he doesn't have to feel the pressure to be seen as perfect and occasional fartiness (usually when Barbatos is on a kick with certain foods) is just part of him that he can be himself without fear of judgement with them about.

Barbatos: My MC would be in a long term battle of wills against anyone, but particularly Barbatos. They will not fart. He will not fart. No one has given ground in the ?(?) years they have known each other. The reason why? One time he passed gas in front of them and was so ashamed because of looking anything less than completely perfect, flawless and in control that he edited the timeline. He will go so far as to summon portals and step into pocket dimensions to fart.

Luke: Holds them and excuses himself to the bathroom because he's a polite and well mannered boy (in some ways...) and it would reflect negatively on Michael and Simeon for him to do that. If he tooted (his words) in front of MC he would be upset about being gross or uncool in front of them, but MC would reassure him everyone does and that it was kinda funny though, wasn't it? Well ;n; I guess it kinda was... never again.

Simeon: He doesn't exactly hold them back, but he doesn't exactly let them out either. These situations do call for discretion, but he gives it away even if it was overlooked because he laughs a little and apologizes every time. In front of MC it makes him embarrassed, but when he realizes they make MC laugh he's more inclined to be relaxed and might do it for funnies.

Solomon: He has a category of his own. His food may not affect him, but it does affect the smell of his farts. At PH his room smells like absolute rotten ass unless Simeon rushes and airs it out whenever Solomon leaves it because he keeps the door shut and locked and often stays in their a whole day or more. Like Leviathan he'll be busy or distracted and in flow state with his research and magic and not use the bathroom. He can go in the woods no difficulty because he has magic to assist (not like HP wizards though. The man has sensibilities and couth.) He knew MC laughs at farts by observing their reactions to others so sometimes he'll say, "Hey MC." to get their attention and then rip one and laugh with them. During routine inspections of Cocytus Hall Barbatos actually casts a spell on his nose and mouth because of the foul and despicable sham of a sorcerer's fecal particles saturate the air.

Raphael: Because he eats a variety of foods but also regularly eats Solomon's food his are a subcategory of Solomon's. He does not make an expression or reaction and noone else does either because even his farts convey threat and the danger of his rain of spears.

Mephistopheles: When he was a young Demon he was even more anxious about looking good in front of Diavolo and impressing him. He did fart in front of him once and was so mortified that he vowed to never do something so disgraceful again. Will not ever fart in front of MC.

Thirteen: THIS IS THE REASON SHE HATES SOLOMON SO MUCH. She got a severe upset stomach from his food and actually thought about 100 new death traps to murder him with. That was the only reason she didn't kill him on the spot bacause the silver lining was those 100 traps! She would sooner hide out until the extinction of all life before she would pass gas in front of MC or anyone. The number one and only who adheres to the in the bathroom!!!

These are inspired by real life! Especially Mammon and Solomon.

[little-ghostgirl-31]

Think you the shit? Bitch? You not even a fart

Reyno solis antsy

-100 y/o + only / cursing (🙀) / only for those who know / 999999999999+ spice level 🥵🌶️

Fic request by @radkatzzstuff

Reyno was sitting in the cafeteria in the cohorts when he heard this nasty ass Bleach blonde, bad built butch body hoe talking shit about him from behind his back. Reyno, knowing he was not about to take this shit. Especially from a girl named ‘Emily’. Tf? Like, ain’t no way this bitch really think she can talk when her hair is so blonde she looks bald and you can’t see her eyebrow. Especially since she had a stupid ass slick back bun. She was for real feeling her self into, which is really confident for someone who was wearing tight ass lululemon leggings that were way too small, and a purple shirt. Like…

“ excuse me?! What the actual fuck did you just say about me? “ reyno said, walking up to this jackass. “ oh! Guys looks it’s the furry!! Ha!” Emily said. By the way she said that I can tell that she doesn’t take showers and only uses ten dollar five and bellow Sol de Janeiro knock off as a way to cover up her green aura.

“ oh hell no “ reyno said clenching his fists, holding back everything he had to not slap this bitch in the face. “ you really think your the shit-… “

Reyno said before cutting himself off, he knew he could go off on her, but he also knew damn well that this bitch would run and tell her mum. “ you’re not even a shart!! “ reyno said, biting his lip trying not to laugh. Of course that was a crazy ass come back but it would have to do the job.

Emily’s eyes widened, she was not expecting that. She stayed slightly for a moment before smirking, knowing what the she was gonna say back “ do I think I’m the shit? Of course I’m the shit, I’m the biggest, stinkiest, wettest shit you’ve ever seen!! “

…

She really thought she ate saying that. Reyno raised his eye brow, forget what the first thing, that’s the most crazy come back ever. Damn. “ okay bitch, since you the shit, guess Ima have to flush you, hoe “ reyno responded while grabbing her hair and dragging her to the bathroom. Emily screaming and kicked her legs like a spoiled child. She cried so loud, reyno was getting on his last nerve. “ if you keep crying I’m going to make it worse, I swear to the gods. “ reyno mutters, rolling his eyes

As soon as as reyno made it to the bathroom, he stuffed her into the toilet. Leaving only her head to be seen, as the rest of her body was down the drain, like skibidi toilet. Reyno flushed her down and she screamed “ Nick Eh 30 freaky fanum tax Let him cook tiktok rizz party Thick of it i like my cheese drippy bruh 💀💀 Quandale never fails to ice spice mrbeast kai cenat 😂😂😂😂 Ishowspeed !!!!!!!!!!! “

Reyno rolled his eyes as he started to walk away, but then out of no where. The toilet exploded, a large shit monster crawling from out of it “ IM THE SHITTER BUNNY IM THE SHITTER BUNNY, IM THE SHITTER BUNNY IM THE SHITTER BUNNY !!!!!!!!!!!!!! “ the monster crawled onto the walls with all fours, chasing reyno. But then from heaven. Big dick Randy came and snatched the shitter bunnies ass. Leaving reyno unharmed. Happily ever after

[microfascist]

God gives the stinkiest farts to the cutest babies (my beautiful infant son)

[nerianasims]

Callie has a low white blood cell count, so the vet has to get that up before doing surgery, and also did a blood panel on her to check for illnesses. Good news: Callie does not have anything bad -- we were worried about feline leukemia since she was a stray for no one knows how long. So the low white blood cell count was likely due to stress and her tummy bug. Both of those are receding. Thank goodness, mostly so she is happier and healthier, but also this very elegant kitty had some of the stinkiest farts I have ever been subjected to.

Her white blood cell count will be checked again in 10 days, and hopefully the vet will be able to spay her very soon after that. She's probably gonna go through heat again, with these delays. But oh well, at least she's healthy.

[persephinae]

Noooooo you dumb bitch 😭

Brimstone is sulpher and it smells like the world's stinkiest eggy farts

[ajisrllygassy]

Oh my god I just let out probably the biggest, loudest, stinkiest, sloppiest fart I have since making this blog

I wish I recorded it but I can never get to my camera in timeeee it's a curse

I guess you'll just have to imagine what it was like sigh