#the spring semester is over!
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FINISHED! (Semester's over!)
I can finally focus on playing FFXIV, read books, and draw with my new tablet I got for my birthday!
...
Oh yeah, I moved to FFXIV because I lost interest in Neverwinter. Weeeeeeee!
#the spring semester is over!#college#digital art time#ffxiv#I love FFXIV!!#digital vercci and voldo time?#beginner digital artist here... ;3;#I CAN RESTSTTST-
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I genuinely love not having a crush like I’m not over here feeling physically sick over some mid guy being dry to me I’m literally chilling
#Spring semester of last year was so bad bc I was unironically into 3 guys at once and they were all#Being dry and cryptic to me#And then before that in 2022 I had my horrid situationship#I had a mini obsession arc in dec 2023 over someone but now there hasn’t been anyone since#And my palette is so cleansed#When a girl is like I miss having a crush I’m like you’re literally a masochist#There was very briefly a girl I thought I had a crush on when I realized I’m bicurious but#I haven’t put effort into talking to her bc the idea of pursuing anyone makes me wanna claw my eyes out#I’m pretty sure I ghosted her by like just not responding to her last messsge actually#Not on purpose but more so bc I realized I was feeling the same anxiety I felt whenever I had a crush so I was like#Yeah I’m dropping this for now#I’m also always the most present for my friends when I don’t have a crush so idk#Like I don’t wanna be consumed by anyone I just wanna chill#The solution to not having normal attraction to people is just to not be attracted to anyone at all#I fr cracked it#I always just crave the butterflies out of it and never an actual relationship anyway#But they’re so not worth it#Which is why I always get bored of guys who’re forthright like oh ok you actually WANT something…. U don’t wanna just have fun#Not for me#I think the guys I’m into and I typically diverge in the sense that neither of us wants a relationship but they just wanna fuck me#And I more so just want the butterflies experience / to playact couple for like a couple months but nothing too serious#Which is why it never works#Like it’s not that it doesn’t work bc either of us wants a relationship it’s more that what we want out of the situationship is different#So lame#Ok this was a lot but I literally came to this epiphany while writing these tags
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goodness lesson number one: gou offers you an apple, what do you do?
#spring semester is finally over yippeee!!!!!!#gou matsuoka#松岡江#free!#free! iwatobi swim club#free! eternal summer#free! dive to the future#free! the final stroke#my art
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It is very inch resting being an English Writing student with 3 different disorders that all have obsession/compulsion/impulsivity as symptoms because do I ~like~ Hawthorne or Emerson? No. Am I, perhaps, wasting my time in a library that closes too damn early researching transcendentalism and romanticism and how they lead to a whirlpool that contains gothic literature, surrealism, and sentimentalism because these crotchety old men were out of their gourds but sometimes right? Yes. Yes I am.
#english literature#english major#chaotic academia#dark academia#light academia#gothic academia#gothic literature#creative writing#philosophy#adhd#immersive daydreaming#ralph waldo emerson#nathaniel hawthorne#romanticism#surrealism#sentimentalism#transcendentalism#new england#can spring semester just be over already#i am not living my dead poets society fantasy rn
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finally rewatching episode 33. :/
#pov ur me drunk on a tues night rewatching sad cr eps and crying even tho you know how things go#bc ur spring semester is over so what else are u gonna do#critical role#c3e33#cr cast#liam o'brien#travis willingham
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summer with tommy 𓇼
#i cant wait for the spring semester to be over#tom cruise#thomas cruise#summer aesthetic#actor icons#tom cruise icons#celeb icons#random icons#random moodboard#summer moodboard#movie icons#pete mitchell#pete maverick mitchell#top gun#top gun maverick#ethan hunt#mission impossible#cinema icons#tom cruise x reader
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That collection took about a year to put together btw. All bugs (save for two which were traded to me) were caught and curated by myself . Which included spreading the moths so they look like that yes. Very long project that took so much of my time and energy but it’s over now 👍 yippie
#I started it very early so I’d have enough bugs to pass#technically the class it was needed for was only this semester but I started last spring#And good lird. It was fun but also so very tiring at times gjfnZngkgngk#So much pinning. So many moths spread. So many failed attempts.#You guys don’t even want to know how many more could’ve been in that box. And by that I mean I don’t want to know.#I stopped keeping track after too many failed moth spreadings#LOOK ITS HARD!!!! ITS HARD and I’m a baby.#But it’s over. I don’t have to collect other bug until next spring or so. Yippieeee#unless I want to because who knows I like collecting maybe I’ll just go insane and do it forever idk#clamtalk#bugposting
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Professional images
#me#self#working hard or hardly working am I right lads#(the latter bc spring semester is almost over)
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Actually it was surreal as hell to look at my transcript today. I've got all but 3 classes done or in WIP. I'd have to Severely fuck up to fail any of my classes this semester, by this point. Which I don't think will happen. Honestly I might even get straight A's for the first time in college. Which would be cool!!!
So just three classes left. Just three. It's so wild. I'm pretty excited.
#speculation nation#for the first time i actually glanced at the 'apply for graduation' option#to graduate at the end of spring id have to apply by sometime in february.#idk i'll bring it up with the advisor tomorrow. make sure im actually good to graduate with these 3 classes.#part of the problem is the fact that i didnt see the classes i have to take 2 of on the offered list#which makes me nervous about whether theyre even available next semester. and what id have to do to take them.#alternative options? or *waiting*? thatd be even worse. so im not sure yet.#the other thing is that my major started requiring students to take an internship in order to graduate#but since ive taken a long ass time my index year aka when k started doesnt have that as a requirement.#at least that's what my last advisor said :p so im nervous about if this new one says differently.#an internship would certainly be useful for getting work experience and resume padding#but i never wanted to before bcus i needed to work my job. that paid me Money. unlike the probable internship.#and also i dont have my license and i DEFINITELY dont want to TRAVEL. what would i do with my cats#?????#so i havent done an internship. and i dont intend to. but if he says it's actually required then id have to work to get one over summer#etc etc. then graduation would be delayed.#i really really hope it doesnt turn out like that. i really Really want to just be done already. by the end of spring.#spring 25 give it up for graduating spring 25#i was originally class of 19 lol but i like 25 better. in terms of numbers.#class of 15 for high school and 25 for college... yes#and YEAH it's taken me 10 years😭😭😭😭 thats why i dont want it to take any longer 😭😭😭😭 im so close i just wanna be DONE WITH IT!!!!!!#so fucking close i can taste it. im halfway done with my current semester too. So Fucking Close...
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i love being told i can’t take an extra class this semester by the dean of my major in order to be able to graduate this spring.
like bitch do you know me. do you not know what the power of determination and sheer last second procrastination can accomplish
#ok but seriously like what the fuck#i need just ONE more class (3 credits) to graduate this spring#like your denied approval is gonna make me graduate in the fall ma’am#and i dont WANT TO#i cant AFFORD TO STAY ANOTHER YEAR#it’s just.#one class#OUGH#gonna see if I can make an appointment#or SOMETHING#yeah I’ll be taking a lot of credits this semester but once its over im DONE#ughhhhajfjfjxkkama#gator bellows
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however setpmeber has felt too slow to me why isnt it october yet.
#i actually cannot believe im saying this but lowkey i wish the sem was over and i could go home#NOT because i want to. but because a) i miss my bed & bath and b) i wouldnt have to be on the constant lookout for her all the time#and also c) i know its askign for too much but im hoping for spring semester to just change things up again pleaseeee. last spring was so#good to me i just want another good spring sem pleaseeee#but i know deep down i will probs never have as good of a spring sem as last year#however i will say this fall sem is infinitely better i think than the last one#last fall sem was so awful. like compared to high school it was way way better but in general not great#i think just cuz this sem i have a more set group of friends and ive been just doing shit left and right and STILL somehow on top of my wor#like its a good start in a way!!! i dont think teh 'on top of my shit' will last but i feel good about things generally#obviously not about my breakup but even then like all things considered other than that its been a really good start#like ive just been more willing to not be cooped up in my dorm all teh time and i want to do things#and i think its nice that i actually have 5 roomies cuz last year it was doubles#and my roomie was never around so maybe the 5 roomies has actually also helped#even though not having an active roomie last year didnt bother me i guess ive realized how quiet things were last fall
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you walking into class after the piano incident of 2024
my mom thinks my incredibly mediocre playing is lovely :(
#ask#this. of course. is because she is unaware of *what* i'm playing.#nobody tell my mom that i just keep sending her vids of bad covers of will wood songs#i could also make a joke about how the 'piano incident of 2024' is actually a thing that happened#at the end of the spring semester i was hanging on by a fucking thread and went#'when this is over. fuck it. i'm going to the music store and buying a piano.'#the 'piano incident of 2024' was three weeks of me slowly losing my sanity before deciding that the answer was a trip to the music store
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I keep a file in my notes app dedicated to documenting my little sibling's sleeptalking and you can't imagine how happy I am that I could add to it again right on the first night of being home
#they talk quite often in their sleep so there's much of it even thought I started not that long ago#today's consisted of 'hehehehehe.... igeeeeen.... értem....'#but it includes gems like#'egy ilyen nagy zselatonyi bazárt elbaszott... egy ilyen nagy zselatonyit'#don't ask me what that means#and very coherent thoughts as well including 'nem nem nem. ezért nincs úgymond elegem'#anyway I had the misfortune of trying to travel home right in the middle of that software fuckup thing#so it was a whole shitshow and I went a day later than originally planned#but I'm home <3#I haven't been here since spring I've missed it so so so much#that whole last semester was hell gdkshdksgd I'm so glad it's over and I can be home
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Maybe she should’ve moved slower in the moment because of that, but one taste of Ryujin had made her heady with desire.
- new challenge: try not to say green flag yeji every chapter u put out --> AND I FAIL EVERY SINGLE TIME.
If she’d known she was just looking for a hookup (or two maybe, at least two would be nice) she might’ve made a move earlier.
- they're not even hooking up yet and she's already bargaining in her head lmao queen of bargaining !
Sure, it’s not really what Yeji wants, but she’s too aware of her own feelings at this point to pretend like she’s not willing to be with Ryujin in whatever capacity she wants.
- wow i want to smack both of their heads (lovingly ofc 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰)
2HWANG BFFS!!! so cute so cute ugh and god yeji all rounder in all universes like damn leave us some
yezyizhere: oh ok so you saw it once, didn’t think about it, and came back to watch it again?
yezyizhere: compliment accepted ;)
- one thing about yeji, even though she's kinda devastated that ryujin only wants casual, she will never pass up the chance to show off her yerizzma
iamfinethankyouandryu: you’re fucking hot
iamfinethankyouandryu: happy?
- SCREAAAAAAMIIIING !!!!!!! ryujin you're just like me 🫂🙂↕️🙂↕️🙂↕️
Ryujin? Hoodie? Bed?
- i'm sure yeji is not the only who let out a sound around here 🙋♀️
ugh as u said, this chapter, short and sweet. i'm a big fan of the texting format bc of the short, flirty banters and the thrill of waiting for the replies. 🙂↕️ yeji this whole chapter: is this real...? such a mood. u definitely captured the awkward flirty texting stage after a life-altering event and before getting together and the phase of suddenly becoming active on social media just so ur crush could notice u. i miss those times...HAHAHA anyway, thanks for this one and choreo au update as well. i hope work and irl stuff gets manageable soon! have a great weekend ahead!
ps. omg the tropes i asked before and no worries if it took long! i love how we almost have the same favorites!! established relationships for one shots u are so right 🙂↕️ another one to add would be friends with benefits (a plus if it's not too angsty for no reason) and generally i'm a sucker for fluff!!
- 🌼
i have a meme i keep meaning to make about nmau yeji being a green flag but i'm lazy.... i'll do it one day tho i just need to edit an image LMAO (but yes she's the best i love her so much....)
girl knows what she wants (ryujin. she wants ryujin LOL)
they're idiots 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰
yeah it's impossible to write yeji without her being good at everything (except for cooking) like i can't ignore the source material!!! (also yes 2hwang besties couldn't resist, nmau yeji has her bros)
she can't resist the rizz... it's in her blood it's in her dna (even all the way back in the cafe when she thought yunjin and ryu were dating she fucking winked at ryu she's impossible LOL)
ryu gets it yeji is fucking hot 🙂↕️🙂↕️🙂↕️
girl literally short circuited like i think ryujin almost killed her???
i honestly had such a blast writing this chapter!!! it was kind of nice going for something a bit different and light after the rollercoaster of chapters 8 and 9 lol. it also ended up being really important for the relationship i think. i love the awkward flirting stage it's so fun to write. i both miss it and don't LOL it's so fun and exhilarating but also god i love being married LMAO. and thank you!! i'm gonna be on vacation this week and it's much needed 😮💨
okay yessss i love a good fwb when it's not like overly angsty exactly. like you can't have that without some pining and miscommunication and stuff, but i like when that leans more on the fluff than on the characters being sad (but that's just how i am in general i'm not really an angst person (ignore choreo that's out of character)) fluff is god
#i'm glad you liked the chapter!!!#i'm very excited to get into the spring semester#hoping that i can write a lot over my vacation but#i'm gonna be with my in laws including my 3 year old nephew so it'll prolly be a bit less productive than i want#a girl can dream tho!!#asks#nmau#🌼 anon
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My grandma keeps getting exasperated that I refuse to ask my grandpa to drive me anywhere but like...
This is the man who told an 11 year old with depression, anxiety, and abandonment issues "I don't want you" in the middle of a lobby at a therapy place and saw nothing wrong. This is the man who has told me to "go to hell" because I couldn't help with his internet issues. This is the man who point blank admitted his behavior is problematic, but used the excuse that he was too old, as a reason for why he wouldn't change his behavior.
I don't want a relationship with him anymore. I made that clear. And while I'm still in this house, I will be civil with him. I will not remark on his comments. I will give simple answers to questions asked. I will help if the situation is dire. However, that does not mean I will engage with him for longer than I have to. And it means that I refuse to be stuck in an enclosed space like a car with him.
I don't think either of my grandparents have realized that, when I said the outcome of that conversation a few weeks ago would determine if we would have a relationship going forward, I meant it.
I've ignored my grandpa while living in the same house as him for 6 months - only interacting with him if it was absolutely necessary since i relied on him. And at the time, I still felt like I would have some relationship with him. But now? Now I feel nothing for him. That relationship is dead. I have no plans on making it better. I will simply be treating him how I treat anyone else I dislike but must tolerate.
I just wonder how long it will be for them to realize this.
#i dont know if sib fully gets how i feel about him either#they understand a bit better to my knowledge but idk#but just...#i dont know#ive never had a problem with cutting people out of my life. and with my history my grandparents should know that INCLUDES family#especially if i compared them to my parents (which i did). that should have made it clear as day#but i guess it didnt#my plan was to try to move out this summer but i highly doubt thats gonna happen#so im gonna aim for at the latest next summer but strive for earlier - maybe over winter or during the fall/spring semester#the shitty thing is that means leaving my sib alone here and like. i feel awful for that#but. i also know it is REALLY bad for my own mental health to stay in this house for much longer#i can tolerate it. i can be civil and keep to myself. but it wont really be healthy#and eventually that tensions just gonna bubble up again and it would suck for it to hurt my academics again#anyway#impromptu rant away time lol#amber's shit you can ignore
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:-)
#I've spent the past week organizing in the play's wake - sorting and laundering huge numbers of costumes#some to return to those they belong to and some to come home to my costume storage room which had become chaotic over the last few#months#so a complete spring cleaning for the storage room became part of my task list too. Now the play's been over for a week#and the emails are starting to come in from admin about next year. As some of you know I did a lot of discernment this semester#about what next year should look like and I have decided a mix of continuity is best. I won't be working for my 'main' schoolboard anymore#but I will continue to teach and direct for the one program in the city (the one I did the play for) and possibly with a new home school#enrichment program that may go ahead this year if there are sufficient numbers. Otherwise I am going to spend a semester#tutoring and running workshops f I can get it off the ground. Then we'll see.#Anyway - admin wants me to get new syllabi in to them within a month's time so my thoughts are all in that direction!#I get to teach 19th/20th century Canadian history to the middle schoolers and Late Antique/Medieval Church History to the high schoolers!#Also direct another play and do a humanities course centred around an epic in the spring (the last couple of years we've done Iliad and#Odyssey - they want Aeneid this year but I am trying to talk them into another option. The Aeneid is valuable but I am not sure it's the#time or place with this group of students. The result of all this is that I am spending far too much time doing Internet research for ideas#and then taking breaks on tumblr - which isn't good for my eyes or mental health. What with the play and end of term#I fear I've been out of the reading habit. I'm still hyperfixating on the Book of Romans so there's that at least#but I lost the novel I was in the middle of and am not feeling so motivating with out books. It's a proper reading slump! I need a kickstar#of sorts. Feel free to yell at me that I should pick up a book!
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