#the sounds I am trying to hold in while watching the first ep

[jinkibum-smiles]

the fact that he did not once try to move out of the way when her mom was trying to hit her in the middle of the streets. boy is so protective of her.

[garoujo]

✩ ˛˚ . REI SUWA ; — you hope rei doesn’t expect you to just watch him play games all day, you’ll have him wanting to watch you instead.

warnings: f!reader, thigh-riding while he’s gaming, v new characterisation i am nervy! note: yayyy my first buddy daddies post is finally here since i’m so crazy 4 him ;u; i had to get him out my system! <;3 also thank u to yoru @/anantaru for brainstorming about this lil idea with me since literally ep 1!

getting rei’s attention wasn’t an easy feat — especially when he was already lost in his game, only offering you grunts and groans in reply. it was rare for you both to get the house to yourselves but you’d been lucky enough that kazuki had taken miri out for the day — so there was no way you were gonna let the opportunity for some time alone to slip by.

luckily, despite your boyfriends otherwise stoic, unbothered appearance, you had a few things that you knew would be able to steer his gaze from his game — even for a few moments as you push yourself up from your place on the couch to make your way closer to him.

rei doesn’t offer you much at first when he feels your chest press up against him, but the sudden, close proximity does let you see the concentrated furrow on his brows despite the way you’re sure his breathing hitches, even for just a second.

“huh?” he grunts when he feels you push yourself underneath his arm — your thighs straddling one of his own before he’s offering you a drowsy, wordless look. but he doesn’t shrug you off, instead — he readjusts his controller so he can settle his arm around your hips as you nudge yourself closer.

“i’m just getting comfy, rei.” you drawl, deliberately light and airy as your fingers press underneath the headphones he has thrown around his neck, amusing yourself with the way goosebumps immediately rise under your touch. another grunt, followed by another few presses of the buttons on rei’s controller and you try to ignore the anticipation that bursts along your skin before you sigh.

your hands trace higher before they’re brushing through his hair, scratching at the undercut underneath before he’s shuddering beneath you — blinking slowly at his screen like he’s trying to focus. you breathe deep, starting with a slow, languid rock of your hips along his thigh that makes you gasp — surprised with how good it feels as your toes curl against the floor beneath you.

“what’re you doing?” rei questions, his voice is low and ragged and the drawl only seems to spur you on — emphasising the pleasurable shock you feel through your core with the next rock of your hips. he’s already slipping, casting you side glances before his brows are furrowing — chewing on the inside of his cheek as he squints at the tv, trying so hard to keep up his streak despite the way it holds basically none of his suddenly wavering attention.

“you can keep playing, rei—mmf, don’t mind.” your voice is uneven, a pretty, inaudible whisper that he swears he feels in his gut as he threatens to groan. but it’s charming the way he’s suddenly pouting, even more so when he chooses to curl his arm tighter around your hips — pulling you closer into him as he encourages more of your needy little thrusts along his thigh.

rei’s lips are parted, panting as his glances towards your figure become longer, drawn out and lidded as his chest expands with a shakey breath — grunting when he feels your fingers tighten in his hair before you pull and he swears his fucking cock twitches in his pants.

“can’t. he eventually replies but how needy his voice sounds surprises even him, words threatening to break under the weight of his own arousal. his controller is basically going untouched now as it rests in his lap — pressing into his cock as it strains and thickens with every needy swipe of your clothed cunt along his thigh.

“do you like this?” you grin before you lean in closer, lips ghosting against his cheek as rei lets his head rest back against the couch — his flushed features furrowing with the arousal he feels lick at the base of his spine before he nods.

your thighs twitch and squeeze around his as you notice the damp little patch that paints itself along his thigh — soaking through your panties with every eager swipe of your clothed clit along his well trained muscles. your body feels like it crumbles with how good it feels, just to be wrapped in his embrace as you chase your own high.

but you decide to offer yourself a few moments of relief as you slow, not noticing the dark, hooded look rei casts you at the change of pace — fuelled by the desperate strain of his cock in his pants right now. “hey.” he grunts lowly before his fingertips finally release his controller in favour of squeezing at your hips, taking control of the pace as he deliberately flexes his thigh under your needy movements and hugs you close enough to brush against his cock as he hisses.

“don’t stop yet, cmeer.”

© 2023 garoujo. please do not copy any of my layouts or writing and translate or repost onto any other sites.

[bunysliper]

Castle Ficlet: Off the Highest Shelf 1/1

Off the Highest Shelf A Deep Cover (6x12) Post-Ep

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

He hesitates at the threshold to his bedroom - their bedroom - watching her. Although she'd left her coat and the impossibly tall boots she'd worn all day in the closet by the front door when they got home, she hasn't yet shed the rest of her armor, instead floating through the main areas of the loft in her jeans and her cream turtleneck for the evening. She hasn't been in their room at all as far as he can tell.

Until now.

And now Kate stands in her socked feet, staring at their bed with her lip pulled between her teeth. There's a tightness around her eyes that makes him wince, an exhaustion he hates seeing from his partner. After a moment, she sighs, runs a hand through her hair, and steps over to her side of the bed and starts tugging at the covers. Not with the intention of sliding into bed, but to strip the linens from the mattress.

A glimpse of red, already dark and browning with oxidation, reminds him why she can't just climb into bed and surrender to a restful night's sleep. He slips forward at that, joining her at the head of the bed on his side.

"Are you mad?" he asks as they work in an almost choreographed tandem, stripping the pillows and the duvet while she untucks the sheets and bundles them, carefully avoiding the blood - his father's blood - on her side.

"Well, I did like these sheets," she says, dry and contained. It's exactly the response that tells him she is angry, even if she doesn't quite realize it yet.

"That's… that's not what I mean. Are you angry about… my dad?"

Her face twitches just a bit and she sighs. "I'm frustrated that you kept it from me," she admits after a beat. "You had this entire experience in Paris last year and not only did you shut me out then, you continued to do it until now, until this case - until you had absolutely no choice but to bring me in on the family secret. Would you have even told me about him had I not stumbled upon him bleeding on my side of the bed with your mother tending to him?"

He opens his mouth to reply, to defend his decision not to tell her a year ago when Alexis was kidnapped and then to continue to hold that secret until just a few days ago, but sound doesn't make its way past his lips. Her fingers clench against the bundle of sheets and he moves to take them from her; though he's not sure if they are salvageable, he'll send them to the cleaners to have professionals try.

At first it doesn't seem like she's going to give up the linens, but when she does, she speaks again as well, "For years, you made it your mission to turn my life into an open book for you, whether I wanted it to be or not, but you're happy to stay locked up tight, to be a volume that's just high enough on a shelf to be considered off-limits, so nobody will try to read it."

"That's not-" Is it? He's not locked up tight; he shares plenty - doesn't he?

She licks her lips, running a hand through her hair before adding, "I'm trying. I'm trying to read it- you. I want to read you, as strange as it sounds to say out loud like that. You told me earlier tonight that you realized he's not family; that I am. So, start acting like it, Rick. Talk to me - tell me things."

"You don't need to be off-limits anymore," she adds, lifting a shoulder quickly as if it will distract from how deeply she feels about this subject.

Taking a deep breath, he leans over to drop the sheets on the floor near their bedroom door. It's not a perfect solution (and a little bit gross if he thinks too hard about it - he'll make sure to clean the hardwood, too), but he needs his hands free to reach for her and draw her into his chest.

Beckett sighs, relaxing into his embrace and slipping her arms around his waist. Her breath skims across his neck and he feels her sink deeper against him.

"I think… more than anything, I think it hurt my feelings," she admits into his skin. "Being left out like that."

His hands flex against her back, his eyes squeezing shut. "I'm sorry. That was… it was never… I'm sorry."

She nods after a moment, accepting his fumbled apology. "I know. And I know that was how you felt with the AG job and the interview."

Castle brushes his fingers through the ends of her hair, contemplating her words. They'd done the same thing to each other - unknowingly and unwittingly, but they had.

"Kate-"

Her lips brush his jaw, cutting off whatever it is he'd been about to say (though he's not entirely sure what it had been, beyond another apology, maybe even an assurance that he hadn't been trying to even the score or something like that).

"I know, Rick. I know it's not some kind of tit for tat. But…tell me now?" she asks, lifting a hand to cup the back of his neck. "While we make the bed?"

He nods, resting his cheek against her forehead. "Okay. But I warn you, it might give you more information about my mother's sex life than you ever want to know."

Kate laughs, giving his neck a squeeze. "I think I can handle it. I do sort of live with her now, you know."

Castle touches his lips to her hairline. "And you know what she's like."

"Oh hush, she's not that bad." Kate steps back, reaching for a bottle of disinfectant that he takes and sprays for her.

"Now. Imagine back then."

Kate hands him a rag to swipe over the mattress as well. There aren't any visible stains, thankfully, but he's not going to argue with her directions.

"I don't need to imagine," she says, rubbing a hand down his back. "Because you can tell me."

Her lips dust the back of his neck, the gesture soft and relaxing; it's not an interrogation, she just wants to know, wants to listen. So, he talks, telling her his mother's side of the story from when he was growing up, weaving it into the tale of the harrowing days when Alexis was missing and his father's daring rescue in Paris.

When that story concludes, all it takes is a soft look from her and a squeeze of her hand on his forearm for him to offer up everything else that's been on his mind since they caught their most recent case.

------------------------------------------------------------------------ Long time, no see! It's been a time recently, and putting words to paper has been difficult, but I was able to finish this yesterday so I figured I would offer it to the world today. Thanks for reading.

[eddiesgorlie]

Her Protector Pt.2 (Elvis)

Elvis Presley x Reader

Read part one first!

Warnings: mentions of SA, blood, panic attacks.

Word count: 2,049

Comment or message me to join my taglist!

It had been five days since the incident. Five days of Elvis taking care of me. The first two days I struggled to stand and walked, but Elvis helped me through everything, holding me up and carrying me to the bathroom, bringing meals to his room where I was staying and watching movies and spending time with me.

Today I decided it was time to get out of the dark room and get some sunlight and fresh air while the boys played football. “Are you sure you’re ready?” Elvis asked. “I am. Can you grab me those sweatpants and that shirt?” I asked, pointing to the chair with clothes over it. He nodded and handed them to me. He helped me put everything on and grabbed a blanket and book before helping me down the steps and to the front lawn, getting me setup and comfortable on a chair in a shaded area.

“Look, its’s Y/n!” Jerry yelled to the group. They all jogged up to me like someone just announced pancake breakfast. “How are you feeling?” Sonny asked. “Better. Thank you for asking.” I said. “Its been real sad without you.” Jerry said. “Oh be quiet.” I said with a laugh. Joe, Billy, Lamar and Charlie all checked on me and wished me the best.

I pulled out my book as the boys started playing football. I didn’t get too far in reading though, their game was very entertaining to watch. After a while they stopped keeping score and just started having fun. I was having fun until a familiar car started up the driveway. The mafias eyes shot up to the sound of a car, quickly realizing who it was, Elvis and Jerry jogged up to me and Elvis lifted me up, trying to get me inside quickly, Jerry following behind with all of my things. “Mama, daddy, I need help with Y/n!” Elvis yelled. Gladys’s came out of the open door and sped over to me, taking Elvis’s place. Jerry tossed all of the things down and helped Gladys get me inside. They got me on the couch and Jerry ran outside, shutting the door behind him.

“What was all of that commotion?” Gladys asked. “Red showed up.” I said. I heard yelling outside. “Y/n, please come out! I know you’re in there. You know I love you baby!” I heard Red yell. “Don’t listen, sweetheart.” Gladys said as she covered my ears.

I continued to hear muffled yells and the screech of a car. I started hyperventilating, all of the progress I’ve made being ruined as I remembered that nights events. The front door flew open and the boys came flooding in. “Elvis, shes panicking.” Gladys said. Elvis quickly made his way over to me and got on his knees in front of me. The others crowded behind him. “Give her some space.” Elvis said. They didn’t budge. “I said give her some space, damnit!” He yelled at them. They all dispersed to other parts of the house as Elvis tried to calm me down. “He’s gone now, you’re safe. Can you look at me Y/n?” He asked. I looked up at him, shivering. “What can you hear?” He asked. “You.” I said. “What can you smell?” “Grass.” “What can you feel?” “The couch, and your hands.” I said, catching my breath. “Are you feeling better?” He asked. “I am.” I said.

“Do you want some water?” He asked. I nodded. He got up and went to the kitchen, returning with a glass a couple minutes later. He sat next to me and helped me support the glass in my shaking hands. “You’ve gotta take a sip.” He said, bringing the glass to my lips. I drank the cold liquid and he set it on the table once I was done. “Good girl.” He said. “Can I just rest my eyes, EP?” I asked. “Of course. Do you want to stay here or up in the room?” He asked. “Here.” I said. “Ok, I’ll be outside if you need me.” He said. “No, I want you to stay.” I said, grabbing his hand. He nodded and laid back on the couch, moving me to where I was laying on his chest. I almost immediately fell asleep once I had laid down.

When I woke up I heard the calming sound of Elvis breathing and quietly snoring. My body ached and I tried to move without waking him up but it did. His eyes flickered open and he sighed as he smiled. “Hi.” He said. “I’m so sorry I woke you.” I said, knowing his struggles when it came to sleeping. “No, no don’t be sorry. Perfect timing actually, I can smell dinner.” He said. I slowly sat up, hissing at the pain. “Are you ok?” He asked. “Yeah, I still just have some pain.” I said, taking a breath before standing up. Elvis stood up and pulled me up with him so I could get my balance. “You didn’t tell me you were still in pain.” He said. “I didn’t want to worry you. I’m sure its fine.” I said. He nodded and we walked to the dining room, joined by the Memphis mafia. Everyone brought some food in and we said grace before enjoying Gladys amazing cooking.

The guys started asking me questions and I got nervous again, I reached for Elvis’s hand under the table and held it tightly. They kept asking “How are you doing?” “Are you still in pain?” “Did today mess you up?” “What can we do to help after today?” I know they meant good things from it but it just kept brining it back. “Guys, stop.” Elvis said. They all stopped and got back into their dinner. “So, EP when are you recording next?” Charlie asked. “Not for a little while. I don’t want to have to go all the way to Nashville now and I don’t know what I want to record yet.” He said. He lied, the truth was that he didn’t want to leave me. He saw how the Mafia could be like vultures sometimes and he refused to leave me until he knew I was comfortable and able to take care of myself mentally and physically, I couldn’t even shower on my own yet.

Dinner was quiet after that, everyone could sense Elvis’s anger from all of the questions. He never stopped stroking my hand though.

After dinner I helped carry the plates to the kitchen and went to start cleaning before Elvis stopped me. “No, go upstairs. You need some rest.” He said. “Elvis, I’m ok. Let me help.” I said. “Y/n, no. Go upstairs.” He said. I stepped back at his tone before nodding and walking out of the room. “Y/n I’m sorry I didn’t mean to snap at you.” He said following me. “Elvis, it’s ok.” I said. He nodded and walked back to the kitchen. I went upstairs and walked to mine and red’s old room, deciding maybe its time to move back in here. I pushed the door open and it was all the same. My clothes from that night were on the floor, blood on the bedsheets and Red’s belongings spread around the room. I covered my mouth and slid back against the wall, letting all the emotions hit me like a freight train. I tried to control my breathing like Elvis helped me with earlier but I couldn’t, I felt so vulnerable back in the room and alone. What could I hear? My screams. What could I feel? Pain. “What could I see? My blood. All I wanted to do was leave the room but my body felt like jelly and lead at the same time, I couldn’t move. My lungs started feeling tight and my throat was closing. I grabbed at my neck trying to get air, trying to scream, but nothing would come out. I laid back on the floor, would this be how I died? I would die angry at Elvis in the room I was raped in that I was in because I was mad at Elvis. He was the only thing I could think of. Would he miss me? Elvis. The door flew open and there was Elvis. Elvis. Elvis.

“Why are you in here?” He yelled, noticing my current situation he quickly got on his knees to help me. He pulled me into his lap, struggling to move my stiff body. Somehow he was able to pull me into the hallway, closing the door to that room. I was back in his lap again, he was stroking my hands, kissing my forehead and pushing my hair from my face until air made it into my lungs and I started coughing and gasping. “There you go, good girl.” He said putting me in a sitting position so I wouldn’t choke.

“Why were you in there?” He asked, laying me back down once my coughing fit was over. “I-I was going to try to sleep in there again. I thought I was over staying my welcome.” I said, my voice raspy. “Never, you are always welcome in my room. I’d never expect you to go in there again.” He said. “Thank you. Can we go to your room now?” I asked. “Of course.” He said. He stood up and pulled me up afterward. He had to support my entire body because how weak and shaky my legs were. “C-can I take a shower?” I asked, noticing my shirt was drenched in sweat. “Honey, I don’t think you’re going to be able to, you can’t hold yourself up.” He said. “Please. You can help me, please.” I said. He took a deep breath and nodded. “Ok, I’ll help you.” He said he got my into his room and had me sit on the bed. He immediately turned the shower on and came back to help me undress. This wasn’t the first time he’d seen me.. nude since he had seen me that night and had to help Gladys once when I had to have a sponge bath. This time felt different though. His gentle fingers slowly worked the fabric off of me and he stripped down to his boxers before helping me into the shower. I leaned against his front and my head dropped onto his shoulder as the warm water from my first shower since that night engulfed my body.

He handed me a bar of soap and I started cleaning my body with the soap. The soap was obviously a mens soap, it smelled like him. His fingers stroked my middle before I handed him the soap. I turned to face him so he could help me wash my hair. He put some shampoo into my hair and massaged it in as I held onto his shoulders. His eyes never looked below my neck. “Oh no, thats going to go in your eye.” He said, taking his thumb and wiping the shampoo from my forehead. “There we go.” He said with a smile. I looked at him, just looked between his beautiful blue eyes and beautiful pink lips. I leaned forward and crashed my lips onto his. He immediately reciprocated the kiss but pulled away a moment later. “No, you aren’t thinking straight. You just had a panic attack, your emotions aren’t in the right place.” He said, rinsing the shampoo from my hair. “Elvis, I am thinking straight.” I said. He turned the water off. “No you aren’t, I’m not a jerk that takes advantage of girls.” He said helping me out of the shower and wrapping me in a towel. “Elvis, please listen to me!” I cried. “No, Y/n. Talk to me tomorrow or next week or whenever you are thinking straight.” He said. He helped me into my pajama’s and sat me in a vanity chair so I could do my skincare and brush my hair. He went in the bedroom and put his pajamas on.

Once he had changed, he came back into the bathroom and helped me get into bed. “I’m sorry I’m being harsh, Y/n. I’m just trying to protect you.” He said. I nodded, not meeting his eyes. I snuggled into the blankets and let out my quiet painful sobs once the lights turned off.

Part 3 coming soon.

Taglist: @18lkpeters @06nasyrah13 @peaceloveelvis

[lutawolf]

The 8th Sense ep 9

I'm going to hang on to the image above by bl-bam-beyond to get me through what I'm sure is to be a roller coaster.

Deep Breath... Okay Lets Do This!!!

I FUCKING LOVE THIS THERAPIST!!! That deep sigh when she says, "okay, work on yourself first." Because she knows there is no other choice. Because emotional fucking damage. I get this so much. I love you, lady.

"And when you're ready, think about what you want to do next." "I want to protect him." Sometimes love is selfless, and sometimes it's selfish. Sometimes they are a little bit of both. Here, we have someone who just wants the person they love to be safe. Not comprehending that sometimes it's better to have love than be safe.

I love bestie so much. Even though I feel an overwhelming need to smack that food out of his mouth, so I can hear him. Even if I'm just reading subtitles. I make no damn sense but there ya go.

I will say that Jae Won makes sense to Ji Hyun which is why they are simply meant to be. Even if I feel the urge to knock some mother fucking sense into everyone.

Haha, bestie over here throwing out words like narcissistic. I won't even correct him because he is funny. Apparently it's not common sense, cause you used it wrong. Still love you though boo.

I freaking love the trio so much! They are adorable. And you can't convince me otherwise. Oh lawd, he just now thought about his painful past.

Well... At least he is pretty, and he gets it now. So. 👀👀👀 And he has solid friends. Fighting! Then bestie goes and thrusts the dagger in. Damn.

Oh, this is going to be a tough scene to watch, isn't it. Those sitting next to each other talking about the incident.

Noooo!!! Him reaching out to hold his hand is gutting me.

Guys!!! Not gonna lie, I was literally holding my breath while I waited for him to go to her. Damn, that was painful. I mean, he isn't so good at it, but he is trying right. That's what matters. Ji Hyun come back and show this clueless boy how it's done!

Fuck, I hate her. She makes me want to gag every time I see her. I want to punch her in the face every time she says Oppa.

Nooooooooooo SHE DIDN'T!

Nope... I'm not okay. Everyone else can forgive. I am not in the forgiveness business. Guess I'll be the odd one out. He wanted to protect him, and then he does that. Yeah… Did that look like protection to you, do, and then you have the ability to be nice to her afterward. To not immediately go after that baby boy. Yeah, fuck this. Guess I'm gonna be the unpopular opinion here.

I love his bestie so much. Ji Hyun, you have the best bestie ever. I have mixed feelings on seeing Jae Won. I'm petty and I don't like to see him happy when he hurt Ji Hyun yet on the other side, maybe it means he is taking his fucking meds and getting his head on straight.

Oh, the look in his eyes when Ji Hyun just left. Then a deep swallow. You deserved that bitch. You really did.

Now that's unselfish love. Even believing that it's all ended. That the cunt won. He doesn't push but lets him know he supports him.

I mean... Didn't you do the same thing to Ji Hyun minus the sex. You didn't even break up officially before being back with her. Shit, I don't even know why I'm bothering to type anymore. I'm sure people have stopped reading at this point.

Shit, doesn't that sound familiar. "I apologize, I was out of my mind." I swear to god if I don't see some growth in this boy.

Oh, the boss knows. Dude, I love her. Okay, I'm pissed at you dude, but that was funny. "I'm here to eat, not listen to a fortune-teller."

OMG! I FUCKING LOVE HER!

"I can't seem to organize my life." "Then organize it." I don't know how many times I've said this. You know what the problem is, now start working towards a solution instead of sitting there and not doing anything about it. I can only help so much, eventually you've got to help yourself. "I feel like things got screwed up big time and I don't know where to begin to fix it."

Shit hit him! Oh, thank you baby Jezebel she hit him! I knew I was in love with her! Oh, I really love her. Knock some motherfucking sense into him!

There ya go. You only live once. Are you finally hearing people, asshole.

Oh! My little button nose. Isn't that just love. Love is forgiveness. For the people who deserve, who support you, and you want to be beside you. Love is forgiveness.

gif by @bl-bam-beyond

I love the song playing in the background of the kiss. Life is complicated and messy, grab your happiness where you can.

For those who read this. Thank you! 💜💜💜

[littleragondin]

Here we go again dears

Absolute Zero Time

So last week gave us ample time to see teen!Ongsa develop his very big crush on Soon, and adult!Soon letting himself enjoy some of that maybe a little too much. It ended with the potential promise of things picking up with Ongsa finding and playing with his 2023 phone.

- Okay so the phone will not trigger The Conversation yet. Alright I guess.

- Sine and Teng work so well together, and that little glimpse of a more... playful? Soon when she asks for that ridiculous porridge and he rolls his eyes was delightful. It felt SO natural.

- HA that's the breakfast restaurant from the start of Ep. 02!

- That discussion with the video shop old man feels jarringly out of nowhere - how did we go from that awkward exchange last episode to this is a little ?? to me.

- "If you meet, you'll be parted. If you don't meet, you won't be parted." Alright, is that what Soon's going to riff off to make his decision then? Better never to have met than to have to be parted from you ?

- Oof yeah so that hug out of context is adorable but Soon, my man... You can't give that kind of hope to the boy while building the expectation that you're going to leave him behind all the time.

- I did like that little "missed connection" moment between the teens.

- "for all the people that love you." "including you?" teen!Ongsa is SO clear and forward and secure in what he feels and what he wants, it makes the contrast with adult!Soon even worse for the later...

- The way he interacts with his younger self is so strange. I get that he wants to do something for the lonely kid he used to be but man, you're planning to take away so much from him, too...

- I do like Na and Ongsa's friendship, it's sweet and she really has his back.

- HA finally we are getting the conversation. I am actually really liking the way Ongsa reacts, it feels ... normal. "How much can I trust you?" is a very valid question. The way he asks "I should be happy, right?" yet does not sound happy at all? I liked it. That's a lot, and it's very fair to not feel super positively about it all ngl.

Ok so the pacing of that episode was shakier for me than the previous one, especially the first half. Things happened either very fast or felt artificially delayed so I enjoyed it a little less than the previous ones on that front.

Adult!Soon is being SO frustrating - I sort of defended him last week but right now he feels... too undecided, too incompetent, also - like sir. You're a full adult, you need to take some kind of charge at least about yourself, you can't defer all your decisions to someone else ESPECIALLY A TEEN alright?? I do wonder how much of it is intentional, because - and I am very aware it may be a reach - in the short view we get of their adult relationship in episode 1, Soon does defer all decision to Ongsa, big (taking in the whole DVD collection) or small (what movie are we watching tonight) and in that case, if that's a personal flaw he needs to work on. But we need to know if that's the case now, give me a flashback or anything that point it out more clearly.

I feel so bad for teen!Ongsa, he spent the whole episode being pulled and pushed by Soon, having to deal with so many mixed signals (I was sighing with him when he settles in his bed), and then he gets burdened with that knowledge? That's SO heavy. And conclude on the man you love telling you "yeh so btw all I told you about the fact that we are together and such? Yeah, I will actively try to stop it from happening." like OK?? I don't want to hold hope for anything right now because I'm unsure about the way the story is going, but if that were to happen... I would like a recalcitrant teen!Ongsa actively working against adult!Soon here - trying to save that hypothetical relationship in a way.

I am hanging in there because I am still having a good enough time watching the show, and I am already so very attached to the characters, but I hope now that the truth is out things are going to pick up a bit, not so much in actual pace but with a stronger direction for the plot and especially for Suansoon...

[stxrliasfics]

TW: MENTIONS OF SA; GROOMING. PLEASE SCROLL IF THAT MAKES YOU UNCOMFORTABLE.

I wanted to share my takes on the Pod Meets World ep and the new Quiet on Set documentary that is out. This is going to be a long-winded blog post. I'll put a keep reading divider up so that no one will be bombarded while scrolling through their dash. I'd like to have a civil, adult conversation about this so if you decide to join in, please keep it mature.

In light of recent events with the whole Pod Meets World episode and the Quiet on the Set documentary coming out, it really opened my eyes more. I think a lot of fans have parasocial relationships with these stars, holding them on a pedestal, and forgetting that they are still real human beings who are prone to doing shitty human things. This is a reminder for me too. This is something I definitely need to break out of. And I'm mentioning this because it really did hurt to hear Drake Bell's story and how he really didn't get an apology. If what he said was true about Will and Rider only coming out with their episode after being notified about the documentary, then they deserve all the heat that they get. At first, I commended them for telling their stories on that creep Brian Peck and discussing their feelings during the court case. But now it seems disingenuous. I haven't gotten to watch the documentary aside from tidbits because I don't have a streaming service that I could watch it on, unless it comes on cable. And I haven't gotten to see the full Pod Meets World episode apart from the clips of Will talking so I plan on catching up and educating myself as much as I can. The guys apparently weren't told what was going on in the case and were blindsided by this. In no way am I doubting that they were groomed as well. But Drake mentioned that they were told everything by Peck before they wrote the letters and still decided to write them. That's insane in itself. As a CSA survivor and someone who was groomed and sexually harassed by an older "friend", it was disheartening to hear that my favorite actors were pretty much complicit and trying to save themselves when they realized their dirty work was being unsealed. And I didn't want to believe it when I read more on the info last night but it served me a reminder that these were real people outside of the characters. Obviously I know that, but Boy Meets World is one of my comfort shows and obsessions so it hurt to hear that. Although I enjoy the characters, I have to keep reminding myself not to get attached to the actors and actresses who play them. I brought the parasocial relationship thing up because that's what it felt like was radiating from the BMW reddit forum as well. Some of the people there were up in arms to defend them, saying "It was a different time period. They were told that Drake was coming on to Peck." DOES THAT NOT SOUND INSANE?? I’m pretty sure that they were told Drake was underaged, I can't remember too much from the podcast clips. If they knew, how did they not question it more before coming to court and writing the letters?? Not to mention that other people were reached out to write a letter for Brian and many declined. Were they already told about the case?? Were they only given small details just like Will and Rider?? My guess is that they already sensed how weird Peck was and got a bad feeling from his request. I would've thought that Will and Rider would have more common sense in something like this. But again, I don't know these people personally. None of their fans do.

And I will repeat once again, I'm not invalidating the guys' experience with Peck either. I wouldn't put it past Hollywood that the cast of BMW were all groomed and violated when they were younger too. The adults could've even been violated just as easily as well. From the clips that I've seen of Will talking about Peck, he seemed very genuine and remorseful. I’m sure that they were regretful. It's just that after hearing what Drake said about them not apologizing and them making the episode after the doc announcement, it feels off. Will admitted that he would like to apologize to Drake personally and Drake apparently isn't interested in an apology. Who can blame him? Would I accept an apology from anyone who stood up for my abuser? I don't think so. And Will had time to reach out to Drake before. Was it embarrassment that stopped him? And Brian could’ve very well lied to them. My own groomer is still walking around lying and gaining support from others.

The best research I could do was from forums, comment sections, and small clips, so please bear with me. I will educate myself more on the matter. But I felt the pain of every child actor that was affected because it reminded me of my own experiences and I'm upset with this new knowledge. We, of course, know what Drake was convicted of. I'm not mentioning that to take away from his trauma nor side with what he's done. But I've seen some people bring up this point at the mention of his experience with Brian Peck, invalidating him being sexually assaulted by this man. Firstly, I think that's absurd. We can still feel sympathy for Drake even if he isn't a good person.

The fact that Dan Schneider and Brian Peck are able to walk free TO THIS FUCKING DAY MAKES ME SICK!!! How the fuck was Peck only given 16 months in jail?????? They would've both been a bag of fucking bones by now underneath the cement of the jail if they hurt my kid. My next question is, what do we do about the child stars who are apart of these companies now? The ones who are still getting deals with Disney and Nickelodeon?? Just because Schneider and Peck were called out doesn't mean that ALL of the pedos under these companies are gone. All of the children affected deserve justice.

[thebadjoe]

BAD JOE'S DRDT CH.2 CRIME SOLVING THEORY PART 2

Hello! I'm the dude who made a ridiculously long theory post about the culprit for chapter 2 by bringing a good amount of points that makes sense, but also makes it hard to believe for most. Just like previously, the post I'm gonna make is gonna touch the big spoilers territory, especially if I end up being right. More importantly though, a good chunk of this post will CONTAIN HEAVY Ch.2 Ep.10 SPOILERS, SO BEWARE!!!

For those who haven't read my theory yet, here it is. Click me!

MAKE SURE YOU CLICK ON THIS LINK AND READ MY FIRST THEORY POST BEFORE READING THIS IF YOU HAVEN'T DONE SO ALREADY.

So, a while ago, my theory post was made after watching Episode 9, but not Episode 10 since it wasn't released yet at the time. And then once the stream of that episode came live, it was time to put my theory to the test, to see if there would be any reveal that would make my theory difficult to work.

For the most part, it's still holding strong. There is however something in that video that throws a wrench into my theory. More specifically, it messes up with my motive. Today, I am here to explain in details what I mean by that as well as giving you alternate solutions to that problem. Also, I'll be discussing a few other holes in my theory (that was there before ep.10 existed) as well as giving you a few more reasons why my theory could work.

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Step #1 : The note & the flashback

Yeah... let's start with that.

To remind the readers just in case, my theory is all about Eden being the culprit of this case. And... you can already see where I'm going with this.

Eden was pretty nervous and hesitant with revealing the note­. But she eventually shares the note in a reluctant manner. Turns out... it's actually a pretty incriminating proof for her. But then... why would the note be found in the trash can? Why wouldn't she keep it instead of throwing it away if she was the culprit? Why would she help Whit and Rose to match the pieces of the puzzle being the ripped out note?

It seems so weird, but she claims right before that whoever made this note, they're trying to impersonate her. Makes sense, but she's still a tad suspicious. But then this happens...

We learn that the secret "Your younger sister killed herself, and you're the reason why." actually belongs to Arturo which is later confirmed by Eden herself. And to put icing to this messy cake, we also get the full explanation as to what happened back then which we get to view it as a flashback!

So yeah, with that explanation (flashback), not only do we learn why Eden was scared and hesitant in revealing that secret, we also learn that she became friends with Arei. Which screws up with the motive I had set up for Eden. For those who don't remember, it was supposed to be "She killed because of all the bullying, the overly excessive bullying from Arei was the final straw for her."

Because of that note and flashback, my motive doesn't really work on that theory anymore... or does it?

Nonetheless, there is a much bigger issue regarding Eden being the culprit. Thanks to this note and flashback, it makes Eden look a lot more innocent than usual. The odds of her being the culprit seem so... unlikely at this point, right?

Heck, there's even someone who made a poll asking who they think is the culprit after watching episode 10. Wanna know the % of votes towards Eden being the culprit? 1.6%. I repeat. 1.6%!!!! Like man... a lot of people don't think she is the culprit, moreso thanks to this episode.

Then... does that mean you're giving up on your theory?

Heh, not at all. I have an explanation for all of this. It's gonna sound crazy, but please, hear me out.

What if... this was all part of Eden's plan?

....what?

That's right! You heard me right! This was all part of Eden's elaborate plan and the reason why she would pull such a complicated plan is precisely because she seriously has the intention to win this killing game! Therefore, she pulled this grandiose scheme so that she would look the most innocent individual within this class trial and she pulled it off perfectly (so far).

Don't believe me? Then let me explain a few things. Let's consider this following fact first : the beginning of that flashback, from Eden sharing the secret to Arturo, to Arturo threatening Eden to Arei coming in to save the day and kick his ass, all of that is the truth. Otherwise, Arturo would've called it out if Eden was lying.

Now, let's get into Eden's pov and pretend that she's indeed the culprit. Considering how complex that murder scheme is, that part with her meeting up with Arturo to share the secret was also part of her plan.

She intentionally arranged that meeting to conflict so to create the possibility of Arturo blackmailing her. Add a convincing motive that Arturo commited the crime.

What about Arei coming in to save Eden?

That... it's hard to say. Easier answer would be no and that it was a very convenient timing that she ended up coming in to save Eden. It's also possible that she planned for her to arrive somehow. Probably not with a letter since they were not on good terms yet at the time. It's possible that Eden was keeping an eye to her surroundings to see if someone could hear her and Arturo in that medical room.

I know... it seems kinda weak, but I have a counterargument for this. Let me just finish explaining Eden's plan first.

So after being friends with Arei, she proceeded with the setup for her murder scheme, then knocked Ace unconscious with the turpentine. Then after this, eitheir two things happened : Eden wrote the letter to lure Arei into the playground to knock her out or Eden snuck up on Arei, knocking her unconscious, set up the rest then created a fake letter.

Regardless of which situation it was, she made sure to use a different handwriting than her usual for the note, ripped it and put it in the trash can. Whether it gets found out or not doesn't matter because she can easily claim that it wasn't hers.

Cause if we think about it, why would the culprit incriminate herself by leaving such letter out in the open? They could've hidden it somewhere much safer instead, but no, there was a reason for that. She did this because she knew the class would think that it wouldn't make sense for her to write that note and also be the culprit. So by leaving that proof in the open, she actually looks more innocent rather than suspicious.

And then if you take into consideration that she's super kind and sweet, the fact that she was acting nervous in the trial because she felt "threatened" by Arturo, her deception has paid off and now she looks incredibly innocent thanks to that buildup.

Eden is a lot more deceptive and terrifying than we can imagine if all I said ends up being the truth (for the most part).

What about that weak point of yours?

Right! It does seem like Arei saving Eden was not part of the culprit's plan for the most part, but it worked out really well for her. But did you know that even if Arei didn't save Eden, her plan would still work just fine?

Essentially, all Eden needed was someone to pinpoint as the prime suspect with a very valid motive. She only needed to meet with Arturo, to have him threaten her and the rest works out just fine.

It's just that if it happened that way, Eden would've instead snuck up on Arei, knock her out with the turpentine, murdered her, then fabricate this letter, or at least, something very similar.

It's also because of this that I don't think my original culprit motive is not quite thrown out of the water. Because if her plan actually didn't involve Arei saving her, then Eden wanting to kill to end the bullying would definitly work there. It's just that on top of wanting to end the bullying, she also wants to end this killing game, by winning on her own terms.

Now then, let's discu-

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Step #2 : Holes in my theory? Where?

Bro! I don't approve of your disguise theory! Eden is much smaller compared to Arei, so people would've known!

*sigh*

Yeah, this is an issue, but it's not impossible to explain. Let's start by saying that she couldn't hide her real height with heels simply because Arei only wears shoes.

I also doubt there's any kind of special powers or chemicals or skills that allows someone to be temporarily higher in height than usual and that would be a lame solution to this problem because I would be using hints that was never presented in the story on top of using things that doesn't exist.

So instead, there are 2 likely scenarios that could "probably" explain that issue.

People weren't paying attention enough to Arei during lunchtime because of all the arguing. Arei never spoke (obviously cause someone disguised can't replicate her voice) and no one ever spoke to her as far as we're aware. So it's not improbable to think they haven't really paid that much attention to her.

She was sitting down at the time, so it was harder to tell the height difference. I know what we saw were standing sprites, but we can imagine she must've been sitting down most of the time since they're at a cafeteria, surrounded with tables and chairs.

So yeah, not my strongest counter argument, but hey, it works!

Eden has different eye colors compared to Arei!

For the eyes, easiest solution to that problem is that she wore contact lenses of a color matching Arei's eyes.

But everyone has rather unique eyes, you couldn't replicate it with simply colored contact lenses!

Probably not, but it doesn't really matter. Look at this sprite!

See something interesting? You don't quite see her eyes very well, don't you? The disguised culprit could've easily hide any imperfections of the eyes with this pose.

What about the skin? Eden looks nothing like Arei!

Like I said before, makeup kit. I haven't watched these videos in details on youtube, but it's actually very possible to change a skin tone with foundation. Of course, since she'd have to do it on all her exposed body, it'd take a very considerable amount of time and effort.

Ah! I gotchu now! You just said that applying all this makeup would take a lot of time. There's no way she would have the time and energy to carry out a failed murder, a real murder, set everything up and take a long time to disguise yourself! It's impossible!

No, that's wrong!

Actually, it's very doable for someone like Eden. In fact, it's exactly because of this that she's likely one of the only classmate who could've carried out this whole plan.

I have the proof for you right there!

This goes way back. Prologue Episode 2.

"Sometimes I can work up to a total of 15 hours without breaks!"

I'm sure technicly anyone could do this with the proper motivation and determination, but take into consideration that she's used to doing this. She's done it before.

It's possible that she stayed up all night to carry out the plan, get her disguise ready and accurate for morning/lunchtime and then went to bed afterwards to take a nap before meeting up with Hu for cleaning duties.

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Step #3 : One more thing before I leave!

I know that some of you don't believe it's her despite everything I've thrown at you and that's perfectly fine. It's just a theory after all. I'm also perfectly fine with people coming up with different culprit theories, some more crazy than others and whatnot. I'm all down to uncover all kinds of possibilities we can uncover about this chapter.

However, I think it's also important to remind everyone of certain things that are probably facts to make sure we don't get too much off track.

So I'd like to give you guys a few pointers regarding what I believe would be the rules of a danganronpa murder mystery.

Based on my experience with this series and some of these fangans, I think there's a certain guideline and logic to follow. I personally think that from the beginning of chapter to the end of an investigation of that chapter, it's possible to solve the murder mystery with just that information.

Maybe not in regards to the whydunnit, but definitly for the whodunnit and howdunnit.

Although it's not usually easy to figure that out until you learn more information during the trial. They make it pretty challenging, but also solvable. I'd like to think that this applies to chapter 2 as well.

I think the creator intended it to be solvable with all the information given from the beginning until the end of the investigation of chapter 2.

This is one of the reasons why I seriously think Eden is the culprit in that murder mystery. I can only manage to solve it with Eden as the culprit.

But maybe you guys can with a different culprit. There's probably a perfectly explainable theory that I'm not seeing quite yet that could be plausible.

I'm looking forward to see what's about to happen in episode 11!

If you guys have any questions or anything you'd like to point out that I might be wrong, let me know!

Thank you!

[hermes-whistle]

LES MISERABLES 22/23 CAST REVIEW

Wednesday, November 30th, 2022

ACT 1

Cast:

Nick cartell-Jean Valjean 

Hayden Tee-Javert (Temporary Replacement)

Haley dortch- Fantine

Matt Crowle-Thénardier

Christina Rose Hall-Madame Thénardier

Hazel Vogel- little Cosette

Cora Jane Messer- Little Eponine

Christine Heesun Hwang- Eponine

Addie Morales- Cosette 

Gregory Lee Rodriguez-Marius 

Devin Archer-Enjorlas

Kyle Adams- Grantaire 

Gavroche- Harrison Fox

Look down

-It looks like Valjean was about to tussel with the other convict 

- javert has a very sassy walk, as he should 

- when he's giving him the ticket of leave they both hold onto it longer than someone straight would💅

-once the convicts and everyone leaves its only Jean and javert on the stage, javert glances at him and then leaves 

On parole/the bishop

-Jean stealing from petti garvis (which is later played Gavroche) was included it's when he says "the dirt beneath their feet" I believe 

-otherwise I don't really have much to say on parole most of the time it is the same so-

-bishop comes behind him like hey girly and touches him on the back, making Jean move away

-from what I had heard nick carnell doesn't usually go all out for the flIGHHHHHT, but he does now and it's high 

- when the bishop gives Jean the bag he pushed it away, only for the bishop to put it back in his hands 

Valjean soliloquy

-WHATHAVEIDONESWEETJESUSWHATIHAVEIDONE

-"my life was a war that could never be won" was yelled

- it was really fast at first and then got slow (that's what she sai-)

-he held up the ticket at "I am reaching but I fall"

-he sounded a bit like Jon robyns when he started as jvj

-"begIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN" was held for so long

At then end of the day

-the transition into the factory women is really cool

-fantine is the tallest

-when fantine gets her letter she's standing away from the other girls but the male workers are walking past her, being snarky

-foreman goes over to her and starts pulling on her skirt

- ofc the gorls start fighting and Jean comes in and ZAMN THAT MAYOR FITTT

-fantine is still tall, taller than Jean but he was actually short to a lot of people

-when he leaves, he stops halfway up the stairs listening, which is at the same time she is talking about Cosette. Some foreshadowing it seems

- once fantine is thrown out she lays on the ground for a few moments, really letting it soak in with the audience as the factory women who read the letter went off stage laughing

I dreamed a dream

-beginning of the song she's sitting as if she's telling a story to someone, she keeps on having a sad smile

- she uses her hands a lot during the number

- "he took my childhood in his stride" was more sad than angry

- again as much as I loved the performance there wasn't a ton that stuck out to me this specific part since it's been performed so many times in similar ways

Lovely ladies

-the 3 men ofc come out with their parts while the rest of the stage is dark

-as soon as the prostitutes start singing the stage lights up on the staircase

-fantine has a green shawl now

- ima be honest I was trying to find the Cosette and ep actresses during this number so I wasn't paying that much attention to fantine at the beginning

-I love the prostitute with the hat and red dress, she's also the one that talks to fantine the most

- when fantine comes back with her hair chopped off, it's almost not that noticeable?? Maybe because I was sitting farther away but it looked like it was just in a bun (which probably wasn't the case since she had a lot of long hair and wouldn't of have been able to pull it back like that)

-the foreman is her first 'customer'

- they still kept it as the prostitutes singing the beginning of "Come on captain, did you wear your shoes?"

-fantine doesn't sing her part until "easy money"

Fantine's arrest

-Probably the fight that looked the fakest

-ima be honest again I was watching javert in the back because he came out on stage way to early and had to play it off

-Jean was hanging around in the back watching

- javert's baton skills are kinda 🏃‍♀️

-"this prostitute attacked me😧😧😧"

-javert tauntingly lifts fantine's chin with the baton while saying "save your breath, save your tears"

-when Jean is on the floor by fantine She is grabbing him per normal, she's honestly death gripping him

- the way they drag her off- they don't even bother lifting her anymore, they drag her by her arms off stage

Runaway cart

-before Jean lifts the cart he takes off his coat, looks around, sees javert, and then hesitates before lifting the cart up

- after that whole thing javert had picked up his coat and hat

-he helped Jean up after holding his hand for like 20 seconds

- javert continues to hold his hand until he gives him the coat

-then of course they had their whole gay conversion

- javert held onto jeans hat until "he couldn't run forever, no not even Jean Valjean" HE GAVE HIM THE HAT WHEN HE SAID JEAN VALJEAN IDK THE ATTENTION TO DETAIL, it's like he was addressing him as it too

Who am I

-Ngl I was focused on how fine he looked

- javert was at the court (which is probably normal but shh)

- nick was really good at holding his notes as jvj like okay pop off king

Come to me

-the bed is on the side of the stage

-fantine doesn't get out of bed anymore, she just sits up and reaches out

- "where the children play" and "see her when I wake" where very light and softly sung

-the light got brighter on her when Jean laid her down

-you could see javert in the shadows for his entrance

The confrontation

-The chain hit the floor when he says chaiiinnnn which was satisfying

-they where very in tune with each other, vocally and blocking wise

-to the point where when then turn their tailcoats kinda fly a little bit at the same time and it looks snazzy

-MYRACEISNOTYETRUUUUUNNN

- ofc Jean strangles javert with the chain for a few seconds which was a little sus

-javert was coughing and gasping while Jean was singing to fantine

-he got up very quickly then ran at him, he ended up running into his side back which I'm sure didn't feel good

-he actually lifted up Jean a little bit and I thought he was gonna KO his ass for some reason

-there wasn't any chair breaking either

-just Jean knocking javert out

Castle on a cloud

-little Cosette just💔

-she's just adorable and I feel bad for her

-you could hear her sweeping

-madame came in with a bucket and threw in down on the ground, making Cosette go back to taking the stools of the table

-eponine comes skipping in, she's standing on the table across from Cosette

- ep points at Cosette who was holding the bucket, Madame then says the line "still there Cosette??"

-Madame mocks Cosette when she says "Please do not send me out alone"

Master of the house

-Thénardier was laying on top of the inn set apparently, him sitting up was a shock💀

-I love the inn ladies

-there was so much happening

-SHOUT OUT TO THE WOMEN WHO WAS PEGGING HER MAN AT THE TOP OF THE INN‼️‼️‼️(implying it ofc)

- Feathers came out of the 1820s version of a blender

-really loved the number but there was so much going on to the point where it's hard to remember

Waltz of Treachery

-Cosette is pulling her bucket, she accidentally tips it over and covers her face out of frustration

- I think nick becoming a father in real life really showed in his moments with Cosette

- he's got a very light voice while they are singing the la la la la laa

-when they get back to the inn Cosette was already hiding behind Jean

- madame came over and started trying to seduce him, causing him to pause and look at the audience looking completely done

- Jean had placed his bag by Cosette who was holding it while sitting

- Thénardier went over and dragged her by them, Jean instantly sat up straighter

- Thénardier picked her up at "if she hadn't so often been ill" , Cosette was literally straight as a plank. But then as they mentioned the medicine she went limp and put her hand over her head

-when Jean starts on his part after that he's on his knees singing to Cosette "Cosette shall have a father now"

-once they leave he gives her the doll and coat, she instantly hugs him, he hesitates but hugs her back

- then they did their little dance before men yelling came onto stage he quickly picked her up and left

Look down/Paris at your feet/the robbery

-everyone loved Gavroche

-Enjolras and marius run through the people, you can probably spot marius a mile away since he's t a l l

-they stand on these blocks now instead of the barricade looking things

-the set seemed very clustered

-BEFORE OUR BARRICADES ARISEEEEEEEEE

-eponine is watching marius from a distance

-she then goes up behind him, he turned around at the exact moment causing her to run into him

- marius seemed very nervous talking to her

- she took his book at "I know a lot of things I do" and trailed the book down his torso, he grabbed her arm after a few seconds

- she yEETED his book while he was in the middle of "I like the way you always- *book gets thrown* …tease"

- Cosette was giving to the poor women while Jean was off talking with someone else

-cosette was on the way back to Jean when marius ran into her

- marius helped Cosette up by taking her hands, he was gonna kiss her hand but let go when he saw Jean

-Jean walked with Cosette and he death glared at marius

-Cosette and Jean separated again to different sides of the stage

- once montrapzee ran up to Cosette with the knife marius pushed him away and got in front of her, she was very close behind him. God I just love how much of a simp he is

-ITS JAAAAAAAVEEEEERRRRRRT

- javert came over to Valjean, helped him up as normal, then looked at him for a few seconds then let go

-Jean checked Cosette if she was hurt instantly then they ran off

-the way marius just 🧍‍♂️🧍‍♂️🧍‍♂️🧍‍♂️ in the background

-Marius eventually ran off, you could tell because he ain't quite at all

- Thénardier was smooching up to javert at "it was me who told you so😗"

Stars

-pretty scene overall

-stars personally is a pretty boring number to me I'm sorry

-still good vocals

Eponine's arron

-all of these sets are really pretty

-"what's become of me" sounded very pretty

-you can always tell when marius shows up by the sound alone

- HE RAN INTO THE FUCKING WALL

- I DON'T THINK IT WAS PLANNED EITHER

-eponine was giggling half way through the number due to that

-you could tell that they are besties though

Red and black

-Hottie enjolras

- Grantaire's hair is half up half down

- "marius your late🙄"

-marius is still the tallest of the cast

-i zoned out half of it on accident

- grant wrapped his arms around marius at "Is Marius in love at last?"

-enj was sitting on the table, clearly dealing with them

-when grant got up on the table and swing his bottle around for "here he comes in just like Don juan" he was air thrusting very close to the back of enjs head💀

- marius snatches the bottle, and grant jumps off, puts his hand ontop of enjs head as support to get down

-Grant and marius start acting like they are sword fighting

-when enj is thrown the bottle, grant runs into him and quickly backs up like whoops

-when marius goes up on the stairs for his part grant gets on the other table which made enj look over at him like 'seriously??'

- "Grantaire put tHE bottle down🙄🙄🙄🙄"

- Enj was very gentle with Gavroche, he lifted him in the air in front of him for a few seconds (like how Russell Crowe as javert did basically)

- Enj put up his arm when he sung "they'll Come when we call" I think it's just how he's able to hit the notes though since he did it 3 times

Do you hear the people sing

-to tHE STREETS

- the visuals are so pretty

-grant is holding Gavroches hand the whole time when they were in the back

-The one barricade boy who sings on top of the set that gets spinned around sounded really good

-enj wrapped his arm around grants shoulder for a few seconds during that

- when they start walking again Enj is either holding a gun or a flag I don't remember

-but grant and Gavroche are in the front following now

-during this ep and marius run out on stage, they talk, marius looks very concerned. Then he runs off only to come back 2 seconds later because he's confused and then ep drags him off

In my life

-God I love the lighting and THE SETS AGAIN

- Cosette runs in giggling

-"can people Reaaaallly fall in love this fast?" It sounds like she was asking the audience

- Addie has got to have the poofiest dresses for Cosette I've ever seen

-her dress is also more off the shoulder than how it usually is

- I love how it's more of Cosette just rambling

-Jean comes in through the gate then locks it again

-during one of her lines he booped her nose

- "in your eyes I am just like a child who is lost in the woods" for some reason I had thought the line was "I am still like a child" but I was wrong

-you can hear ep dragging marius again, they sound like a stampede, they hide behind the pillars that hold the gate

-after Jean and cosette go in marius runs out to the other side of the stage singing per usual

- "eponiNE your the friend who has brought me here :DD" they then hugged, lifted her up, and spin a little bit during that line which was cute cuz besties

- watching marius try to climb the gate-

- while singing 'there is someone who touches my life' he was sitting on top of the fence gate thing for dear life

-you could see Cosette's shadow in the window which was a little sus

-marius then gets down, grabs a rock and yeets it at her window

A heart full of love

-cosette opens the door and stands there like bro what are you doing here

-marius's voice cracked, Cosette went like 😟😃😀 and then went back in the house SLAMMING THE DOOR SHUT LOUDLY

- marius started having his crisis then when walked to the bottom door, Cosette came out at the same time almost running into him

- I think this is one of the cutest HFOL I have ever seen, they really did act in love unlike some other actors where it seems very forced

-once eponine comes out the lights get a bit dimmer on Cosette and marius

-ep looks over as they kissed

- both of them giggle and cosette pulls him off stage, making him nearly trip

The attack on rue plumet

-ep was blocking the main door most of the time

- Thénardier was holding onto Cosette's balcony railing, trying to get up there while saying his lines

- her threatening them was so girlypop

- the sound of marius running alone could scare the gang away (no I'm not gonna stop bringing this up)

-Cosette was very gentle helping eponine up

-they locked the gate on Cosette per normal

-again nick becoming a father irl really showed again

- Cosette was frantically looking around while making up the lie

- "Cosette my child what will become of you,,," sounded really dark or sad, I don't know how to describe it

-when Jean is going on his rant Cosette and marius now talk by the fence not the gate

One day more

-one slay more, another day another Yass queen

- ep on the right stage of the side by marius I think that's how it's always been tho

-Enj has the brightest spotlight, he does the whole show

-lowkey thought someone was gonna run into javert on accident

-THE BARRICADE PEOPLE WEAVING WHILE MARCHING WAS SO COOL

-jean now had a limp when he walked back on stage

-the way they sound at the end, chills

[wanderrlust0]

i havent journaled in a while so i guess ill do one now while i wait for this melly to kick in so i can sleep.

i actually meant to do this last night but i got too tired to continue after typing 2 words lol. i went to work today and then hung out with my bf afterwards for like 6.5hrs. it was a good time with him today. we really just smoked a little joint in his backyard while his dogs ran around. then he made grilled pork and we had his sisters pasta and meatballs with it. we watched the new ep of frieren while eating some krispy kreme glazed donut that his sister brought and then we just hung out for the rest of the night. funny enough, i actually meant to write some things about him last night but after hanging out today, my initial thoughts have changed. basically, ive noticed that hes been in this weird funk for a few wks and i couldnt really figure out what it was and if it was just me overanalyzing or whatever. after i hung out with snow which was feb2, there was an incident where i accidentally forgot to reply for 2hrs, even tho i read his msg so that affected our relationship in a way to the point where like he apparently started to care less and wasnt fully into it all. the way he explained it to me, he felt like he was holding back his feelings or like they just werent connecting and whenever we hung out, it felt like a regular hangout (almost like how a friend hangout would feel). it was only up until recently where he started to acknowledge it more bc of this recurring situation we were having with sex. like for a little bit honestly, i would notice that he wasnt fully into it like he used to be/normally is. i didnt say anything at first but after a while i think we were on the topic and i told him what ive been noticing. then all of a sudden it got worse bc it was actually affecting our relationship. it made us (but mostly him) question our connection, his state of mind, our chemistry, all that. like we didnt know what the problem was since this like never happens so its weird.. and he did bring back up how when i hung out with snow last time, at the time he told me that something in him switched and he couldnt explain it or fully understand it but whatever it was, i guess it was progressively becoming more prevalent without him realizing. like he was pretty much self sabotaging himself and so he recently actually had to like “self reflect” foreal bc i swear, he was being less like himself and less emotional and genuinely happy and not as affectionate. it wasnt completely obvious but i def did sense that something felt different. i felt like he would act jealous and suspicious of me at times and itd be his own trust issues coming out, as well as some insecurity. like, at times those parts of him were tiring bc its like the same things over & over. it made me feel like he was trying to find literally anything to use to try to pick at with me. like to find fault in me or accuse me/suspect me of something that i clearly am not doing. like i already know hes got some deep rooted trust issues and self esteem issues but damn it felt like i was always the one messing up and upsetting him and making it like hes just being sensitive and dramatic..like!! no!! its just sometimes so difficult to try to tell someone who is actually overthinking and overdoing it without sounding like youre gaslighting or brushing it off as nothing. i really was trying to understand him and his pov. its seriously all bc of my friendship with snow which is crazy…like how has our friendship become this prominent in both our lives and is causing this much conflict between us, even tho i told him a million times that it shouldnt. i tell him the truth about it, im not lying, not cheating, not anything but its affected him soo much. btw we are trying to plan a day to hang out again soo we shall see how he reacts to it & ill also not make the same mistake. ill deal with that later but at least today, he felt like really great and happy which is good and it made me realize how i did miss this from him. im glad were okay tho:)

[frecklystars]

I know nobody is online now to witness me explode BUT I AM FINALLY. HOME. AND. AND IT'S 5AM AND I APPRECIATE ALL OF THE MESSAGES YOU GUYS SENT ME HOLY SHIT I GOT SO MANY 😭😭😭💗💞💗💘💝💖💖💝💗💗💞 I really didn't expect such a large amount of reassuring words, thank you so much for cheering me up you guys. I am going to try to answer as many as I can!!!! thank you, you helped me feel so much better/safer around my F/Os today ;u; I've been struggling with my ptsd a little more than usual bc the holidays are always a really hard time of year for me, I've been a bit more fragile lately I guess. It means a lot to me that you guys sent me such kind messages when I needed them. Thank you so much to every single person who took the time out of their day to do that for me, I appreciate it way more than I can ever put into words 🥺🥺💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙

Also!!!! I FINALLY WATCHED!!!! THE KEN IN MY FEELINGS EP!!!! WHAT ON EARTH 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 RYAN SPOILED US THIS HOLIDAY SEASON AHHH!!!!! THREE WHOLE VERSIONS OF I'M JUST KEN????? My god the music video was GORGEOUS. also him opening it with "the world can have Ken's voice but only Barbie can have his eyes" was so [clenches fists] gorgeously delivered I loved his cadence I loved the little waver in his throat and I could talk about his vocal patterns just on that line alone for days and days. and the line itself is beautiful aside from his voice entirely -- HE UNDERSTANDS THE ASSIGNMENT!!!! BARBIE IS EVERYTHING AND HE IS JUST KEN™ AND HE IS "TOTALLY FINE WITH THAT"™

the sadly mumbled "merry christmas barbie........... wherever you are" absolutely gutted me. THE ACOUSTIC VERSION oh don't even get me started on the acoustic version. For months and months, I've always imagined that when I'm sad, Ken would be humming his song while stroking my hair and laying me on his chest until I feel better. just humming. I DON'T HAVE TO JUST IMAGINE IT ANYMORE MAN I CAN JUST TURN ON THIS SONG AND HEAR HIM SING SO SWEETLY 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 especially the last part when he's just softly singing "can you feel the Kenergy?" he sounds just like Elvis when he lowers his register like that and it has me all shook up (pun not intended at first, but totally rolling with it now)!!

mark and ryan didn't have to set this up, but they did, and I'm so happy. the dozens of people who worked on the music, the video, the setup, the decorations, the very beautiful camera work... all of it was such a sweet, unexpected gift. AND CAN WE TALK ABOUT THE PIC THEY USED?????? THEY'VE BEEN HOLDING OUT ON US!!!!! AHH LOOK AT HIM. THE GREASE ON HIS BICEPS, HIS TEMPLE. THE BUBBLEGUM. OOGH. THE ARCH OF HIS BROW.

I'M OBSESSED!!!!!

[acanvasofabillionsuns]

i am going to look so so cute tomorrow i'm excited :D

my sister helped me outfit plan and :DD i'm going to be so cute :D

i finally folded my laundry after maybe like a month of it living in my baskets!! i'm going to do my laundry tomorrow so it might go right back to living in a basket but at least for today then my floor has felt so much cleaner and there's no laundry i need to fold bothering me :]

i hung out with martin george and rem for a few hours!!! it was v nice i laughed a lot <33

i watched kennie jd's 2021 out of context it was so funny aklsdjfs;lkdf please release the 2022 version soon queen 🙏 (also if anyone knows the song she dances to at 26:19 👀???)

i've been keeping lists of goals for the next day for the past half a year or so?? like before i go to bed i'll list what i want/need to do tomorrow, and then refer to that, and that night i get to cross things off my list and feel accomplished 😌 and for the past few weeks i've just been. so tired. and haven't felt up to it, but last night i gave myself a few goals and i achieved all of them today :D

okay ik i love talking about the good food of the day tbh the food today was kind of not great my tummy's been :/ BUT i did have some yummy chicken parmesan raviolis for dinner AND i made a deal with my sister and she's going to make edible cookie dough this week so :D

also i hydrated a lot!!! had like two whole water bottles whoo!!

edorazzi posted!!!! i haven't gotten around to reblogging it yet but it's so pretty 👀

i posted!!! a fic!!!! for the first time in like a year!!!!!

i wrote it a while ago but i still like it AND i have been writing a bit recently for fun for the first time in months and i'm so happy about it :D

also as i'm writing this then marshmallow-fluffy just left some lovely tags on it and <3

i was deep diving someone's tumblr to try and find something (i was unsuccessful but i had a p fun time so) and i came across this and L:SDKJFS:LDKFJ:LWEJ:FJ

i've been listening to bomBARDed sm recently they've grabbed hold of my brain

like yesterday i listened to their gobblox episode and their song did NOT have to go that hard and then today then the ep i listened to had two songs and the second one was such a vibe,,, sounded kind of like appalachian wine /pos

virgil and i have decided to watch glass onion instead of atla on saturday and i'm v excited 👀

i devoured almost the entirety of one person's ao3 it was v fun <3 kgraces u have good fics

[purplehoodiesimon]

I feel like there are many analysis regarding Edvin's (astonishing) portrayal of anxiety, desire, longing, rage... but I don't see as many about mourning. He shows mourning in such a real and painful way, especifically during the funeral and when he comes back to school. He is subtle and contained but you can totally feel the pain. I think it's a difficult feeling to show with such a young age.

Edvin is honestly one of the most talented actors I have ever seen in my entire goddamn life. Which, granted, my entire goddamn life hasn't even left my teen years yet but the point stands. He's so fucking good. And you are so right. He portrays mourning so well. Like,

The opening sequence here?

You can see it all—the anguish, the despair, how he's trying so hard not to cry in front of everyone and the numbness inside him that makes it possible. It's not even that he refuses to cry, it's like he physically can't. He's too broken for that.

And in this moment when he says "That is the case. It always has been" when Kristina says he'll be compared to Erik in every step he'll take. He's completely void of emotion. There's no anger there's no anguish, no pain. There's just nothing.

The anxiety he has in this scene, the way he tries to joke about Erik but his smile drops almost immediately. Making light of a terrible situation, but the feeling is just too fresh. And the way the heavy weight of the Crown sits on his shoulders when everyone's left. He keeps a proper posture while sitting through the song, but once he's alone, that façade drops a little. His shoulders drop. The pain of losing Erik is so heavy on his shoulders.

I'd also like to point out the difference between Edvin and Malte's faces in the first one. Edvin—and subsequently Wille—has a completely blank face. There's no emotions bleeding through, Wille is compartmentalizing the fuck out of his brain in that moment. Can't have a breakdown in front of everyone if he can't feel the emotions. Malte—and August—in contrast, looks like he's about to start crying. You can see his face starting to twist, the pain and grief evident on his face. I kinda wonder if they set this up specifically on purpose this way or if both Edvin and Malte individually decided on their acting choices. It'd be interesting to know.

And I am hitting the image limit and it's too late to go edit these all into single images and add more so even though I could probably talk about the entirety of eps 4, 5, and 6 in terms of Edvin's acting about grief, I will end simply with this one. Because this is one of the best displays of grief I have ever seen and it doesn't take a lot of acting ability to scream at the top of your lungs, but a lot of actors surprisingly don't do it very well. Seriously, next time you're watching a Hollywood movie or Netflix show, and there's a scene with a character screaming, really look at their face. Most actors tend to hold back a bit. They want to do sympathetic screaming, not ugly 'we have to cut the sound out or we'll give people heart attacks' screaming. There is so much pain and grief in this shot. Wille is already mourning Erik and we saw him just barely start to have a shot at what maybe can be normalcy for him, and that's just been ripped away completely. It's a moment of pure, unfiltered angryscaredpainfuldesperate grief over that loss of privacy and I think Edvin did a fucking amazing job at it.

So anyways in conclusion, he really is such a talented actor. Also, I have only just started it myself but I havey heard a lot and I have seen a lot from the bit I've watched, but if you want to see more absolutely amazing ∞/10 acting from Edvin, I suggest you watch Gåsmamman, anon. He's really so fucking talented.

[bengiyo]

180 Degree Longitude Passes Through Us Ep 7 Stray Thoughts

I got a lot of food cooking today, so we're watching this while two things are simmering. Excited to see how In handles Sasiwimol's return after last week's reveals.

In almost looks like he exorcised something with how drained he looks.

Ah the first lie: Obscuring Wang's role in the leg injury.

Sangkam, like the nurse in Romeo and Juliet, is the one holding this entire operation together.

It's kinda uncomfortable to see Sasiwimol gloating about winning out over BL dramas in front of two queer men, particularly when I suspect she knows about both of them.

She scoffs at the suggestion of making her next project about a young man falling for his uncle. The awkwardness continues.

Sasiwimol is clearly concerned about what In could have revealed to Wang.

This framing on the couch is amazing. Sasiwimol is holding on to In's wrist, almost as if she's unconsciously restraining him. Wang is resting a finger on In's other hand and touching his leg against his. He's also on the side with the crutch. To me it looks like Wang wants to offer support, but cannot do so obviously by looking at In.

Well this conversation went about how I expected. Mol happy that Wang wants to study, then mad that it isn't a field she approves of at a location where she can observe Wang. Now confused and upset about his admission about his feelings for In.

Ah, there you are, my beloved architectural bars. Will you be able to shield In from Wang's admissions?

Oh ho! The bars have a new ally: the line of the window panels.

Wang pushes past the bars and demands In justify his determination to stay closeted. I love Wang's assertion that the world never belonged to the homophobes, and that he will not wait for them to die to live his life.

This is incredibly hard for In, because I don't know how he can sort his old feelings for Siam and his new feelings for Wang when there's so much overlap.

I also feel for Wang when In shuts down like this and just doesn't talk.

I was very invested in the completion of this bridge, but we still need to install guardrails.

It's interesting, that on many levels I can see Mol's read on the situation and that Wang has perhaps misplaced his desire for paternal love with In. It's possible she's right, but Wang is 20 and has a right to figure that out for himself. I'm feeling rather mixed at the moment, but generally am on the side of letting Wang determine the path of his love life.

Noteworthy that Mol never asks In for any perspective or what he wants. She just asserts that he must help her make Wang "normal" again, and that her life is full of disappointment. In must help keep her from losing her son. This is where she loses me, and it is not a surprise that she turns hostile to In when he doesn't show enthusiastic support.

I try not to be harsh against Sasiwimol, but I am deeply morally opposed to her inherently need to suppress and control all of the men in her life.

Though this dinner is awkward, I love this lightning effect. Feels very much like a stage production. Like it's supernatural in origin.

Okay, this fight is intense, and for once punctuated well by sound. In is correct that Wang should be a philosopher. He drew out of Sasiwimol what the major problem was immediately. He refuses to go somewhere with her until she confronts his truth, to which she responded that she does not care about his truth and will continue to enforce her worldview.

Oh my goodness, I need to know the tea about the night Siam drove away. Wang has clearly carried this for most of his life.

Wang asking the questions that define the core conflicts in play here, only for both In and Sasiwimol to run away.

Absolutely incredible work from everyone this episode.

[subwaysurf45]

Winter Makes Ice (Ep.5)

Summary:  you’re captured after a brawl at the Avengers building, Bucky and others must save you before Hydra makes a new Winter Soldier out of you, Bucky has given up that title.

Words: 4344

Episode: five

Warning: violence, nudity, needles, descriptions of injury

Masterlist! Winter Makes Ice Episode: Four

Time: unknown

Date: unknown

You knew they had full control over you. There was nothing you could do even though you were conscious all the time, your body did what they wanted but your brain screamed against it. There were times where they’d ask you to do the impossible, they’d make you climb the tallest tree in the forest that surrounded the building and then make you jump down without anything to catch you, you’d land and your ankle would break; the worst was when they told you to break it back in place. 

It was like you were sat in a large chair as you watched your life unfold in the cell, your wrists were strapped to this imaginary chair so you couldn’t reach out to block the punch, ankles were clasped so you couldn’t run away. You never became lucid, it was always you watching through the shell of your body. Crying yourself to sleep wasn’t an option, you weren’t allowed to cry, or laugh, or scream, or smile; you were dead on the outside. The feeling of control was so close but yet so far away. 

There was a moment, just a moment. More I.C.E. had just been injected as you hung from the cuff restraints, you swung lightly as you dangled there. The cell door closed and the silence you were left with was getting louder by the second, your brain starting to pound like it always did and right at the back of your head near the bottom began to pulse, like you were being stabbed. The pain, hunger, exhaustion built up until that one moment, your eyes were slowly closing but as they closed you could see something right in front of you, something was moving. You couldn’t reach out to touch it because you were chained but as you crossed your eyes all you saw was a little black thing slightly swinging with you. 

It was the tip of your nose. 

Your fingers had also begun to blacken, it was about to hit your first knuckle. 

That was when you let the control fully go to the I.C.E. flowing in your veins, the power to keep yourself above water was only getting more and more tiring. No one had tried to save you so they probably were never going to come. Part of you thought Bucky would be there in less than a day, he’d break walls and towers for you, but it might have just been words to make you think he loved you, just sounds put together as a fake. 

Time: 6:10am

Date: October 3rd 2024

“Darling, It’s me, It’s Bucky, you’re safe now.” Bucky spoke softly, he flickered between your eyes and nose. You didn’t say anything, just looked right through him. “I will not fight you, but we need to get out of here, we have to go.” He urged, right when he finished talking you stepped forward, he was shocked to see you move, it was rigid and robotic. “Baby, explain what’s going on, please baby?” Bucky stepped forward and reached out, his hand lightly touched your shoulder but he studied your face as he did so. Your nose would have scrunched up but with the lack of that it was just your eyebrows that pulled together. Bucky looked around the room to try and find any sign of how to get you out of your trance; the papers he flicked through were now getting thoroughly read through. All you did was stare at him, waiting for a command. 

“Bucky, it’s all clear down here, some got away though,” Steve breathed heavily as he spoke through the coms. “There's this guy who looked to be the head and he got away, didn’t get a good look at him.” 

Bucky turned to you, “who’s the leader here?”

“No one gave their name.” You answer quickly. 

“What did he look like?” Bucky left the papers and walked to you, he grabbed a lab coat on the way to cover your scared and naked body. 

“Slick black hair. Black eyes. Heart shaped face. No facial hair. Slit through his left eyebrow. Hydra ring on his finger.” Your eyes closed as you computed the man who poured the ice water on you multiple times. “Height: six foot. Weight: around one eighty. Scars, markings, tattoos: none.” Bucky watched you in shock, “any other specifics, James?” 

“N-no, well done.” He nodded and threw the coat around you, “we’re going to leave now, okay?” Bucky took your hand and led you toward the door. 

Your feet tread silently while Bucky’s combat boots echoed three times down the grey hallway, it scared you every time he’d step. With every loud sound came a hard punch, it was a way for you to brace yourself when they’d catch you talking about your past life. As you walked closer to the doors your fingers found their way to the walls, still grey like the floor but clean, the floor was covered in dead bodies and blood from the invasion. 

The doctors and agents you knew were slumped over against the wall or splayed out in the middle of the hallways, some people’s blood had congealed while others still created a larger pool around the Hydra operatives. The smell of death didn’t read on your face but it did on Bucky’s, the smell of the inside of your cell just carried out here it seemed like. You were unaware of your smell, part of you thought it was the lack of nose but the other knew it was the lack of fresh air and being surrounded by copious amounts of blood. 

“Where to, Sergeant Barnes?” the feeling of someone holding your hand was foreign, his thumb kept swiping back and forth.

“Call me Bucky,” he looked back with sorrow in his eyes. You stopped walking and lowered your head, “what are you doing?” he asked. 

“Waiting for punishment,” you spoke softly, knowing they went easier on you if you knew you messed up. There’d be times where you’d push your luck and stare them down but once you grew tired of being tough you head would bow and you waited for the strike, it was now a reaction to any type of dissatisfactory.

“No, no punishment anymore,” his eyes filled with tears and he brought you under his arms, his lips kissed the crown of your head as he opened the doors. He kept you under his arm as he opened them, metal arm gripping right on your forearm. 

The sun was barely meeting the surface and yet you had to squint to adjust, everything had a hue of red. The grass felt foreign under your bare feet as you stepped off the tiles and into nature, your toes gripped the leaves and grass as they walked. Your lungs felt like they were about to explode with the intake of fresh air, your nose could still work but it was slightly harder to breathe, the cool wind blew into your mouth and gripped the back of your throat which made you double over to the cough. Your knee popped out of the front slit on the closed lab coat, you were used to feeling naked and vulnerable; Bucky was the one to close it again. 

Steve, Wanda, and Nat all stood by the jet.

Wanda screamed your name and ran up to you, her arms pulled you into a tight hug but you curled in and waited for the strike. She pulled away and the feeling of rigidness, “y/n?” She questioned, her hand coming to cup your cheek but you stepped back and held your hand up for protection. Wanda brought her hands into her chest, she looked between Bucky and you but Bucky just shook his head with a few tear tracks present on his face; Wanda was beginning to develop her own after she looked back at you before turning away. 

You didn’t really know why everyone was crying, “Scarlet Witch, Wanda Maximof.” your head slightly bowed, you looked over her to see the others behind her shoulder, “Captain Steve Rogers and Natasha Rominoff, a pleasure.” Their faces seemed worried and Nat looked disgusted, she brought her hand to cover her mouth as she walked up the steps to the jet. 

Wanda got your attention again, “hello, we’re going to take you home, alright?” Wanda took your hand, “do you remember me?” 

“From?” was all you said as you made it into the jet. Wanda covered sob with her hand as she turned away from you to sit beside Nat, she was also crying.

Steve didn’t even look at you, he walked straight to Bucky. Steve caught him right as Bucky’s knees were buckling, Bucky caught onto Steve and they both slowly made it to the ground. It seemed like they guided each other, both holding onto one another for dear life. It was a common understanding, grief was written on both of them. 

“She’s fucking gone, Steve!” Bucky cried into Steve’s uniform, the blue turning navy with the tears. “She called me James! She doesn’t know who I am, I can't- I don know- what did they-”

“Bucky, it’s alright,” Steve calmed him as Bucky began to hyperventilate, “we’re going to get her back, I promise.” Steve gripped onto Bucky’s shoulders and they both stood, a little wobbly but both were extremely tired and light headed. “I’ll handle everything,” they walked to the jet, “just be there for her and I figure everything else out, alright?” Steve made Bucky look at him. 

“Sure…” was all Bucky could muster. 

They all made it to the jet, you were placed in a room off to the right. Bucky went right in there to see you curled on the ground when there was an examination table in the middle of the room, he kneeled beside you and ghosted a hand down your shin to try and get your attention. 

“It’s Bucky, let’s sit up on the table, okay?” Bucky eased but you didn’t move, his eyes closed as he fought with himself. He didn’t want to abuse your injected substance, but he really needed you on the exam table to check your wounds. “On the exam table.” he didn’t speak harshly or yell, it was just Bucky’s normal tone. 

You shot up instantly and sat on the edge of the table, your legs hung off it and the lab coat was forgotten, it was still around you but it seemed you were told to be naked so often it became second nature. Bucky turned toward you and stood between your legs so he could get a good look at you, he could tell you were staring deep into his eyes, he didn’t want to look in yours yet, he wanted to look you deep in the eyes and have you pull him in for a kiss, maybe it was selfish but he needed it. 

“I’m going to do something called a head-to-toe check,” he informed but he knew you knew what this was. He slipped on the disposable gloves, “I know you have cuts and scars but I need to find active bleeding first, alright?” Bucky held up his hands to show nothing was on the gloves. “Tell me if I’m making you uncomfortable.”

“Nothing is-”

“That’s an order.” Bucky added, “I’m commanding you to tell me if you don’t want me touching somewhere,” he knew he had checked you, there might be a way you could find a loophole in his command and get him further from a checkmate but he was making progress. 

His hands gently tapped all around you, he was asking questions as he did so but you didn’t answer any of them. You were now looking straight forward, when Bucky looked to your face for any sign of his girl you’d give no hints or answer. His hands worked down to your chest, he hesitated over your breasts but you gave no indication that you were uncomfortable, when he looked for bumps, bruises, or blood he didn’t find much, just scratch marks that looked old. He did the same when he hit your waist, not a lot of touching but looking, it wasn’t thorough but he knew you wouldn’t say anything and he might trigger you again. 

His gloves weren’t picking up much, most cuts were partly healed and the bruises were very noticeable. Part of a head-to-toe check is seeing how the victim reacts to the pressure, if you tap their stomach and they flinch it could be internal bleeding or a broken rib, but you weren’t giving any sign of hurt. He knew you could feel the broken bones and the bruises but you would never tell him in the mindset you’re in. he watched for little twitches in the eye or some type of pull away from him wherever he touched, Bucky wanted to reach in and find your brain so that you could tell him what hurts; he wanted to help you so bad. 

“Do you know how long you’ve been gone?” Bucky asked as he picked up your left leg, turning and examining it. He found a deep red mark on the edge of a purple bruise on your ankle, there was the exact same one on the other and on your wrists. He pushed away your hair and moved the lab coat back to find a massive bruise with cuts all around your neck, it was impeccable your vocal chords weren’t fried after being put in that cuff contraption. 

“Gone from where?” you asked robotically, you didn’t even look at him. 

Bucky was taken back by your answer, he stumbled with his hands as he switched legs. “F-from home, y/n. Shield, home?” 

“Hydra is my home, it was where I was created.” your head turned to allow your eyes to lock with Bucky’s. 

Part of him wanted to scream and shake your head so hard it might knock a memory back in place, he wanted to tell you of your story and how you both grew. Bucky wanted to tell you about the drawings you do with Steve or the boxing in the early mornings, he wanted to overflow you with emotions but he knew they’d hit a brick wall. 

Bucky finished his exam but he needed to keep you for himself for a little longer, he pretended to check your pupils and pulse three more times but all he wanted was to feel the warmth of your skin. His eyes would catch the tip of your nose swinging as he moved you slightly, he had an entire set of questions just for that. But he just kept looking at you for no reason. He’d ask if you’re cold and you’d say no, he’d ask if you were hungry and you’d say no. he’d ask if you were thirsty, you’d say no. 

So he stopped asking, “drink this water.” He pulled the little water bottle from the back of his belt loop, the little tear drop shaped bottle fit perfectly in her hands. 

You grasped the frosted bottle, it seemed familiar to you. You never got water in your cell, you’d have to suck on the floor after the doctor left; they’d always wake you up by dumping ice water on your head. Calloused fingers gripped and felt the bottle, something was happening in your brain that you couldn't quite understand, you were feeling something deep within you. 

“Drink.” Bucky said again. 

“Wait,” you whispered, all you saw was black form shutting your eyes so tight. You didn’t see Bucky’s face as he waited to see if this water bottle would trigger something from right before you were taken, this was the water bottle you had introduced to the group. 

A picture was unfolding in your head, it was a big room with people all around. There was a couch that some were sitting on while one stood in front of them, the one standing was smiling. The people on the couch were leaned in to listen, some held their chin in their hand as they too, were also smiling. The little bottle of water you were holding was also in this picture, the one standing seemed to be presenting it like a game show host, showing it off as if it was new. The picture began to move and the people standing took a seat next to another person, they cuddled close and began whispering to each other with iggles in between. A pen made its way across the couch and ended up at the two who looked like a couple, one wrote a heart next to their name while the other did it normally. 

Your eyes shot open at the sound of the pop, you were squeezing the bottle so hard it exploded. Your eyes frantically searched around and when they landed on the other set of eyes in the room you lunged for a hug. 

“Bucky!” you screamed, “thank you!” You wrapped your arms around him so tight. Bucky hesitated before clinging to you like a life source, “I thought it would’ve taken you longer,” you sighed into his touch. 

“We left you there for too long,” Bucky whispered, his face his deep in your neck.

You pulled away with tears in your eyes, you looked to him but he kept looking down, “is there something on my nose?” you asked, Bucky was looking between your eyes and nose. Your finger went to touch but pulled away at the feeling of something dangling, “what is that?” you screamed and felt it again. 

“It’s the injection side effect, I think.” Bucky added he felt around your face to try and see if you were actually real or if this was some sick joke Wanda was playing on him. 

“What injection? They just took my blood once so far,” you shrugged and felt the back on your head, “there was a scab there before, it hurts like crazy, like a pulsing thing.'' You brought your other hand back to try and find that scab you felt what seemed like hours ago. Your hair felt dirtier than the last time you remembered, it was one big clump when you moved it.

“Sit down.” Bucky said, you moved back on the seat without a second thought.

With wide eyes you looked up to Bucky, “I didn’t want to sit...Bucky what did you do?” you asked, it looked like you were glued there as you tried to get off. 

“What day is it?” Bucky asked cautiously, his hands coming back to cup your face. 

“September twenty third, I didn’t hit my head it’s not a con-”

“It's October third.” Bucky breathed out, “oh my god…” he whispered and pulled you into another hug, he gently rubbed your back as you stayed rigid in his hold. 

The plane began to drop and Bucky knew it was just landing but with everything rushing against you like a title wave it felt like the plane was crashing. Bucky held you tight as you slashed around in his grip, pleads to any higher power you could think of to keep you alive didn’t seem to work. The plane froze and you stayed gripped to Bucky, he brought you out of the medical room. The three others just looked at you, not wanting to get their hopes up. But when you ran over to them and asked what day it was they seemed to be more disappointed, they just pulled you in for a hug and tried to calm you down like Bucky did. 

All at once medical staff open the jet doors, people rushing to you and you. Bucky was trying to cut through the crowd to get to you but medical staff were getting in the way and holding him back, he could see your frantic search for him. 

“You’re gonna trigger her, s-stop, this isn’t-”

A medical staff member flew back and knocked a few others over, everyone began to calm down and slow their moments. You were right over the person you pushed trying to help them up, apologizing profusely, they kept moving back and away from you. 

“Y-you were holding a needle, I’m sorry.” you eased. 

“Sedate her!” another yelled. 

You ran down and out of the jet to try and get away from the many needles that, what seemed like, every medical member was holding. There was just noise surrounding you, vision began to tunnel right when the pounding in your ears began, at the back of your head there seemed to be a knife stabbing you. 

“Get a gurney!” the voice cut through the shouts and chasing. 

Everything stopped and you froze from your worried state to complete your mission, someone ordered you to find a gurney, you must complete it. There was one waiting outside, you walked over with your back straight and your chin up. There was no need to look behind you shoulder but you did so anyway to make sure no threats were also in need of the gurney, everyone behind you was just still and watched you. This must be a test, after that realization you did everything quickly and efficiently to avoid punishment. 

When you brought the gurney to the voice who shouted it they told you to get on as well, Bucky was by your side and offering an arm to help get on but you didn’t take it. People were shouting orders to one another and you kept trying to get up to fulfill the command but Bucky kept holding you down. Some medical staff were trying to shove him away but he stood his ground and kept a hand holding you.

“Why do I keep wanting to do all these things?” you frantically aske as you tried to stand again.

“I’ll explain later, don’t worry,” he squeezed your hand as you made it into your exam room. Hands felt all around you, the lab coat was long forgotten so you sat on the table naked. Bucky was right against the wall and kept an eye on you, though your brain was next to scrambled eggs he could still read you like a book.

“We need to take some blood, might also need to give something to sedate her.” it was, what looked like, the head of this team that spoke.

Another picture flashed before your eyes. The needles and this blue liquid that went into you. Bucky had told you something called ‘ice’ but you didn’t know what that meant. Blood would be taken from you then without you looking, they would stick whatever serum Bucky was talking about in your arm. Voices and sounds rushed into your head as these pictures moved and changed to show that you weren’t there for as long as you thought you were, in your mind a different doctor repeated the same motions over and over and over again. You were covered in water and somebody was talking over you from inside of the cell, their voice seemed as though they too were underwater so you couldn’t quite make out what they were saying, but one part stood out. They were saying how they did this all without you noticing, how you were too confident, how you were strong and yet you’d look away from the needles when they were stuck into your arm. 

All of these people who you failed to remember that were surrounding you now, all had needles and some had already taken your blood, but you were going to be cautious now, you were going to be aware because you didn’t want to forget everything again. Before anyone could stick anything else in you, your arms flew out to the side and gripped as many syringes as you could, they were smashed to the ground and the clear liquid spilled and dripped on the floor. People were beginning to hold you down but you broke free from their dead grass pushing away the velcro straps that were about to go around your ankles and wrists.

Someone managed to get a strap on your left ankle without you noticing, that sensation of being cuffed made another picture float in your mind. It was a large metal contraption with silver Cuban links and five cuffs, two around your wrists, two around your ankles, and the final one went around your neck. Once they were all attached to you, you were suspended in the air as your entire body weight was being held up by your limbs and neck, even though only one bound was attached to you now, you could still feel the weight of all of it crashing back onto you. 

With one large tug the Velcro cuff snapped, you tried to get up and off the table to run to Bucky, he was the only one left in the room that you knew and trusted. He was also trying to make his way to you simultaneously, reading the fear etched deep into your eyes. No medical staff was trying to hold him back so he ripped through all of them and got to you quickly, you couldn’t really hear what he was saying because the pounding in your head that was pinpointed right at the back of your neck was starting to pound into your ears. But you could make out his lips that were moving, you can remember faintly kissing them, the feeling was on the tip of your tongue but you couldn’t quite make out what it really felt like. He was telling you it was going to be okay, at one point he said that you could sleep now and that he’d be there when you wake up, you really didn’t want to trust him but you were so tired and your head hurt so bad.

You didn’t even see or feel the syringe plunge deep into the crook of your neck as he held your face and made your eyes look right into his.

Winter Makes Ice tag list: @small-death-and-codeine​ @commonintrest​ @buckyys-doll​  @lil-baby-nor 

let me know if you want a tag!!!

[killianglyndon]

Reunion (tbb ep.16 fix-it fic)

Pairing: Crosshair x Medic! Female Reader

Warning: tbb ep.16 spoilers, mentioned of killing people, inhibitor chip?, some kissing, grammar mistakes, typo (cause i didn’t proof read lol. im too tired to do that.)

A/N: anyway, i was so mad and sad about tbb finale, so i decided to write a fix-it fic. That doesn’t mean I hate the episode, this is just my version of story. im not really good at writing so...haha. that’s why im a gifmaker, also my main language is not English, so there would have some typos and grammar mistakes.

Word count: 1.6k

read on ao3

You and The Bad Batch were on the way to save Hunter. You knew this would be a trap, but you couldn’t help but think of a certain sniper, your lover.

You and the batch didn’t understand what had happened to him at first, his brother, your love. The way he called you and the batch traitor, the way he raised his gun to you, and the way he talked. This wasn’t him, this was not the crosshair you know. 

Then, it turned out that the kaminoans had implanted inhibitor chips in every clone to make clones blindly follow orders, even killing the jedi.

“Good soldiers follow orders” This line kept echoing in your head after you heard Crosshair say it. This, this was not the crosshair you know.

***

“You and omega wait here” Echo told you and omega.

“No, we should stick together!” Omega protested. 

You put a hand on Omega’s shoulder, trying to calm her.

“No, echo’s right” Wrecker agreed with him.

“Stay out of sight, if things go south we’ll send you a signal. Go back to the ship and contact Rex.” Echo added, looking at you and omega.

You gave him a nod and pulled Omega back to your side before watching them ascend to the training room.

You know how much Hunter meant to Omega, the way they interacted, and the way they cared for each other. You understood why the young girl looked up to him.

“Omega, I’m sure they’ll get Hunter back.” You reassured her.

“I know, and Crosshair.” She looked at you with her bright eyes.

You were a little shocked when she mentioned him. All this time, you tried so hard to suppress your feelings for him, your love for him. The batch knew that you missed him, they could tell. The way you stared into his empty bed, and the nights that you cried until you were too tired and the tears were dried.

“Yeah, and Crosshair…” You smiled sadly at the young girl.

***

When you and Omega joined the batch in the training room, you, Omega, and AZI stayed in one of the gun towers. That was when you saw him, your Crosshair. Hunter and he were tackling each other while Tech, Echo, and Wrecker were shooting the droids.

“I believe you may have activated a few too many droids.” AZI said to Omega and you.

“ We can see that, AZI.” Omega raised her bow, aiming for the nearest droid to Hunter and Crosshair. Meanwhile, you used your blaster to shoot some of the droids near the others.

***

After clearing out all the droids, you, Omega, and AZI joined the others on the ground. You walked closer to Crosshair and Hunter. 

You could see that Crosshair was shocked to see you, the coldness in his eyes, mixing up with a tiny bit of shock.

The big scar on the right side of his head was horrifying, did the empire did this to him? Your heart almost broke into million pieces, seeing the love of your life like this.

“Crosshair…” Your voice almost sounded like a whisper. 

For a moment, you see the real Crosshair, your Crosshair. But soon replaced by the coldness and aloofness.

“Crosshair, forget the empire. This isn’t you, it’s the inhibitor chip.” Hunter tried to talk some senses into him.

“Wrong.” Crosshair stared back at Hunter. “I had my chip removed a long time ago.” He added.

All of you looked shocked, Tech and Wrecker looked at each other, speechless. Hunter almost looked hurt. 

“Since when?” Hunter asked.

“Does it matter?”

“Yes”

No. No. This is not Crosshair. The Crosshair you know would never do this.

“Cross, the empire lied about many things, what if they lied to you?” You asked, trying to hold back your tears.

“This is who I am.” 

Crosshair tried to raise his rifle, but Hunter was faster. He stunned him before Crosshair’s attempt.

***

“Hunter, three Venators are descending on the city. We need to leave, now.” Tech stated.

“Wrecker, grab Crosshair. He’s coming with us.” Hunter grabbed Crosshair’s rifle and backpack, while you went to picked up Crosshair’s helmet.

You saw Omega gave Hunter a nod before walking away. Hunter caught you staring at him, so you gave a sad smile to him in return.

“He’s coming home with us.” Hunter said.

***

You and The Batch finally made it to Nala Se’s lab, Tech and Echo were currently trying to figure out a plan. After Crosshair and Hunter’s intense conversation, you saw him walking to the window and taking a seat to rest.

“AZI, come with me, I need your help on something.” You asked.

AZI followed you to Crosshair, you took a seat beside him.

“Crosshair…”

“What do you want?” He asked coldly.

“AZI is a medical droid, he can scan you to check if you still have the chip.”

“Indeed, I helped CT-5555 removed his and CT-5385’s chip according to my memory database.” AZI said.

“Fine.” Crosshair agreed reluctantly.

“CT-9904, this scan only takes a few seconds” AZI said before scanning Crosshair.

To be honest, you knew he still had the chip, you hoped he still had the chip. Cause there was no way, no way the Crosshair you knew would be like this.

“The scan is completed.” AZI said.

“So..?” You asked.

“CT-9904 still has his chip, the chip’s effect was weakened due to the injury from ion engine.” AZI answered.

You felt almost relieved? 

The Batch heard it and rushed to you, “He still has...his chip?” Hunter asked, sounded a little guilty.

Echo, Tech, Omega, and Wrecker looked at each other, surprised by this unexpected news as well.

“That would be correct.”AZI replied.

“Could you remove it, AZI?” Omega asked, she wanted his brother back as much as any of you did.

“Yes. I’m capable of removing CT-9904’s inhibitor chip.”

“Do it.” Hunter said.

You stayed next to Crosshair while AZI removed his chip. The surgery was faster than you think, you hold Crosshair’s hand during the whole surgery, and you still holding it now.

“CT-9904’s chip has been removed. He should be awake in any minutes.” AZI stated.

You felt his hand pressing yours, “Crosshair?”

“I...I…”

“Hey, you’re okay now. We removed your chip.” You reassured him.

Crosshair looked away from you, his eyes filled with guilt, confusion, anger, sadness.

“Don’t you hate me?” He asked. “All those things I had done…”

Your hand reached out to stroke his face, “No. Never. I know it’s the chip, Cross. It’s not your fault.” You smiled at him. “I love you, always and forever.” 

Crosshair put his hand on your face, wiping away the tears falling down your face. “ But I shot at you, I tried to kill you… I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry…”

“Shhh, I forgive you, Cross. All of it. I’m sorry we didn’t come to save you earlier…” 

Crosshair sat up and pulled you into a hug, you melted into his touch, inhaling his scent. Your Crosshair was finally back to you, this is real. The sleepless night without him, the loneliness, the emptiness, the desperation, were all gone. Crosshair was back to you, alive.

“I love you too, cyare.” He said it back.

He pulled away a little so he could kiss you on the lips, his hand trailed to your nape, kissing you with force. You and Crosshair clung on to each other so hard, afraid you would lose each other again. That was when you heard Hunter cleared his throat, you two finally pulled away from each other.

“I know you two miss each other but this lab is about to collapse. and this is not very…” Hunter said and eyed Omega.

“Right, sorry about that.” You answered, then looked at Crosshair whose arm was still wrapped around you. “Cross.” You nudged him.

“Fine.” He gave up and retreated his arm.

“I see Crosshair still has his severe and unyielding personality.” Tech stated.

“This is called missing someone, Tech.” Crosshair said and pulled out one toothpick to throw it at him.

“Ha! He’s back!” Wrecker exclaimed and playfully punched Crosshair’s shoulder. 

Crosshair pretended to show an annoyed face, but deep down you knew he missed his brothers.

“Listen, Crosshair. I’m sorry. We should have come for you earlier.” Hunter said. “I was trying to keep the rest of the squad safe, but you are one of us. I’m sorry.”

Crosshair didn’t say anything, just stood up and walk toward Hunter. For a moment you thought he was going to punch him, but instead, Crosshair extended his hand to Hunter.

Hunter looked at Crosshair’s hand then his eyes, he reached out his hand to shake Crosshair’s. 

“We need to leave fast, the structure could not hold much longer.” AZI chimed in.

***

All of you finally made it to the platform, for once the Kamino is sunny.

Omega stared at the Tipoca City, which was all destroyed. “It’s… all gone.”

You looked at that direction, the place all clones called home was all gone. The Batch and you took a few seconds to process this, to accept the fact.

“We should leave before Empire’s scouts show up.” Tech said.

“You coming with us?” Wrecker asked, looking at Crosshair.

“Yeah.” Crosshair said and took out a toothpick, putting it into his mouth.

Hunter nodded at him before walking to the ship with the others.

You still stood next to Crosshair, “You ready?” you asked.

“Yeah.” He gave you a little smile then intertwined his hand with yours, leading you to the Marauder. 

You didn’t know what the future would be, but one thing was sure. Crosshair would be right beside you, always and forever.

tagging: @ahsoka1 @kavecika @starwarschicken @itsjml @ct-1994 @loth-wolffe-main @theiirs @thefeatherofhope @ahs0ka-tan0 @mallr4ts @kriffclone