#the song where he straight up fucks an alien

[horce-divorce]

My friend just moved to a her grandmas old place and she doesn't have internet, so instead we dug out Grandma's trusty VHS collection and watched a bunch of movies from the cusp of Y2K. We also have plans to dig out more because this is our thing now, fuck Netflix. So here's my reviews so far:

Holes. what a GREAT fucking movie. Good message that is blatantly anti-prison industrial complex and anti-capitalist. good morals, good soundtrack, great casting, the author of the text wrote the screenplay so it hits hard like the book does, the romance between Kate and Sam will be goals to me forever. "I can fix that"!?!? KILL ME JFJDJWKWKFNJRNE 11/10 good shit. youuUuUUUU got to goOooOoo dig those hooooles 🎶

Another one that's still good? POTC: curse of the black pearl. Yes it's Johnny Depp Disney Garbage Trash, but it's WRITTEN SO WELL. Whatever writers they got for that shit obviously have written many a fanfic (positive! praise!!) bc the dynamics and dialogue btwn characters flow so smoothly. It's absolutely and utterly unlike real life, it's just the pirate story we all always wished we could be in, and it's still an absolute blast. for that I award it 9/10. This one was funny bc it came out on VHS in time for the commercials to be advertising DVDs.

Jimmy Neutron Boy Genius? This one's hard, cus this was one of my FAVORITE movies growing up. I noticed going in, however, that I remembered far less about what happens to Jimmy and his friends then I did about Caveman. Basically all I remembered was Jimmy's dad is stupid, and "when I sneeze it looks like a advanced species too." and that's bc Jimmy Neutron is a completely vapid and inane tale with absolutely no message, that unfortunately did not stand the test of time to me personally. It's pretty much unremarkable. they try to mix the "he's a genius baby" humor with 5th grader booger jokes and it just doesn't work, the booger humor doesn't land for adults and the genius humor isn't quite smart enough to be actually funny most of the time. Tbqh I think watching this as an adult gives me more ideas for horror movies than anything else. They go into space ON ROLLER COASTERS, WITHOUT HELMETS!!! They're fighting an entire civilization of space traveling ritual sacrificing EGGS and they have A SINGULAR! ONE! CHILD! ARMY! TO FIGHT THEM!!!! THEY CANT BREATHE OUT THERE! that's too scary I can't take it seriously lmao. 4/10 with all positive points going to Jimmy's hot mom and himbo dad (ideal romance tbh and where 90% of the humor comes from), Carl, Sheen, and Cindy, for screaming "THOSE FINDINGS WERE INCONCLUSIVE AND YOU KNOW IT" during their first on screen fight, that joke did actually land so they can have a cookie for it. And the teacher who gets turned small and gets left that way forever. What the fuck lmao

We also watched Pocahontas and I mean. Even as a kid watching that one was more of a lesson in "here's how NOT to talk about history," and as an adult, her "romance" with John Smith is more weak and pathetic than anything I've ever seen before or since! We got to "Savages" and all I could think was "Disneys orchestra really put their whole pussy into this one, huh?!?" I wish I could say the rest of the movie/soundtrack made it worthwhile but I'm gonna go with a solid 2/10 here. we still had a fun time tearing into their choices, and the aesthetic of an old Disney movie watched on VHS like nature intended is a form of ASMR. I didn't realize how much I missed the clackety clack of the plastic cases or the smell of a warm, freshly rewound tape. <3 good shit.

Stay tuned for more of my 20 Years Later: VHS Reviews No One Fucking Asked For! we're holding out hope that her parents still have my friends own VHS collection bc her and her sister used to have a banging VHS collection and I NEED to see Quest for Camelot.

[inkskinned]

she's singing in another room and my dog is asleep at my feet. my grandma asked me why i haven't found a man yet and i laughed. oh, you know. i like my house clean.

my girlfriend is also my man is also "my partner" if i'm in a professional setting. yesterday we went to a ren faire and a man mimed at me - you're together? and at my delighted nod, his baffled, you're gay? made me laugh. a woman with rainbow hair said i love the two of you together. you're both so beautiful it's absurd.

my dad introduced my partner as my "..... friend. or whatever" the other day. he knows we're dating. in the same way, i was never able to get my sister's husband to stop saying that's gay like it's 2008. he still uses the word fa***t, and my sister's defense of him has always been well, he's just kidding.

my lover and i dance to old music in a tiny kitchen. we judge new music together and take food critique very seriously. we watch love is blind before we fall asleep and agree that if they had a queer season, it would be bloody but also make for excellent tv. of fucking course queer people would know someone for only 2 weeks and agree to get married. what are you saying.

at a bar with friends, a man puts his hand on my wrist. got a boyfriend? and yes, i do have a boyfriend, she's amazing. i am texting her while i wander around a gas station named after geese. i am visiting a swing state for a wedding. in the candy aisle i overhear: she's actually like a lesbian it's disgusting. two teenage girls with packaged sandwiches in their hands, giggling. no literally, like. i'm not, like. okay with her being there while we're all, like, naked and changing.

my girlfriend and i tailgate, drink gin and cider out of cups. from the frat group beside us, a man corrects himself with one of his friends: bro, i mean, nonbinary entity, and it makes everyone around him laugh, myself included. he razzes his friend the same way i would have killed for at 19 years old - like nothing happened, he continues: you apply sunscreen like an alien. he does a little sassy (and fairly accurate) dance interpretation of the motion. his friend is laughing so hard they're crying.

i am lucky, i live in a safe neighborhood in a safe state. my masc passenger princess comes up from DC. i drive her for an hour to where all the leaves are a violent arrangement of color. we walk along the trails, letting autumn into our blood. in this part of the state, there's a lot of pickup trucks and trump signs. when we chastely kiss before getting into the car, i accidentally make eye contact with a woman holding her child's wrist. she looks disgusted. she looks fucking pissed.

two hours later my girl and i are eating dinner on a patio, soaking in the last warmth of new england sun before the chill of winter sets in. we are giggling and trying to talk through plastic vampire teeth. at another table, i see a young woman sit up straighter. i watch her watch us. she blushes and takes her partner's hand from across the table. shy, like the taste of evening has just become something deeper.

it's worth it for this moment, i think. my lover is still humming the same song she's been singing for four days straight and i don't want to kill her for it. her guitar is beside my bed. her toothbrush is in my bathroom. in a few moments i will make us lunch. we are lucky enough to have found each other. it is lucky enough to be in love.

[bisonaari]

I don't know if it has been done here before because I don't look around, but I have thoughts about the album and I need to share them with someone or I'm gonna go INSANE

Put your tinfoil hats on for my analysis of everything around People's Champion under the cut (probably people have talked about it and I'm just gonna repeat stuff, be warned)

So I've been a bit insane about People's Champion and I've started to think super hard about the order of the songs. I think, in my opinion, that the songs are arranged to tell the story of his life and career from right after UMK 2023 until now.

Ready To Go: This is where we start. Just post UMK, people didn't fully believe in him yet. I remember people saying "oh yeah sweden is sending someone who already won esc, but we're sending… Jere from Vantaa????". Hence the chorus, where people want to see him fail. But he's ready, he knows that he can do it. He's gonna go through and give his EVERYTHING. The mood of the song is really hopeful, with big intense guitar.

Cha Cha Cha: Do I need to explain this one here? I'm still not over this hahaha, I don't think I'll ever be. But this is where events take a turn for him, hence why it's so early in the album, even though it's his biggest song. Because he has so much to say after Cha Cha Cha happened.

Takavoltti: This is where things start to fuck up. He doesn't want to stay on his butt now that he has achieved celebrity and starts to take on so many, many gigs. A lot of us were worried for his health when we saw how much he was performing during summer 2023. But in the song, he says that he only saw opportunities and he just had to continue to take them. It takes a toll on his body. It starts to hurt, but he goes through it. That mad man. Also a couple of times in the song, people ask him to do stuff. Like a little circus monkey. And he just ends up hurting himself.

Ruoska: The bad comments start to really get to him. In the video, Erika and Käärijä are both dressed and perform as aliens. They've completely been striped of their humanity. They're just gimmicks that you can insult anonymously on the internet. Who cares anyway, they chose this life for themselves. It's their own fault. While the previous song was still a bit on the funny side, this one digs straight into the hardships that they feel. There is no more humour, only pain.

Kot Kot: He's still doing too much. While everyone has gone home, he's still drunk on the dancefloor, trying to reach out for friends who were wiser and left. He's being dragged out of there against his will, because he's so stubborn. Pushing through isn't working anymore, and people around him aren't letting him hurt himself anymore.

Skit: An appointment with a therapist. Käärijä is being cut off CONSTANTLY by the therapist, who can't see Jere as a patient. He sees Käärijä, the star. Even when he's trying to seek help, he isn't listened to. Because he's not human anymore for people at that point.

Autiomaa: Käärijä is breaking down. In the video, the therapist from the skit is taking a picture of him during the appointment. The feeling of loneliness and emptiness is around him all the time, omnipresent, eating him alive. He just wants someone to see him as a person, to listen to him, to help him with the void.

Sex=Money: At that point, you know, might as well. You're not human anymore, who cares. Why not try to get some money selling your ass. Who's gonna care anyway, sex sells and that's what people want to see, right? He made so much money on onlyfans, the press is acting shocked that he would even do that. The song is back to a bit light-hearted. My interpretation would be that he just finds the situation ridiculous, and that's why we're getting humour back in the lyrics!

Bananas: I'm not sure how this one fits in my theory, but we're SO back for humour. Kääriä is getting better. I think that in this one he found resolve to just continue going on. He's annoyed because people still only see him as an object, but he has to go through and live his life. Show must go on.

Huhhuhhei: Quite interesting to put a love song in this timeline in the story. But I think it's because he wants to live in the present, and not in anxieties from the past and the fear of the future. He doesn't know if the person sharing his bed is still gonna be there in the morning, but whatever, it's not important. Tonight, they're his and that's what matters. Thinking of tomorrow isn't gonna bring anything good.

It's Crazy It's Party: He's still stuck in the parties, they're around him all the time. He's still doing a million gigs in Finland and in europe. And just as the song is quite close to Cha Cha Cha, he's back at the beginning, the situation hasn't changed much. But this time, by the end, he goes to the party again, by his own will. And this time, he has people around to party with him.

People's Champion: We're back babes. This song is a love letter to people who love him. This is a great wrap around for this album. He's just remembering how everything went, from the start, until this point. Going through every point and emotion we've been through with him during the album. But in the end, he IS people's champion. He did it. He made it. And even with all the hardships, he's with us, when our hearts all sing together. The last line of this album that isn't a chorus is "Thank you everybody, I love you".

What a journey

So something that you have noticed that I've talked a lot is how people don't recognize Käärijä's humanity. He has been made into a kind of creature of gimmicks. You can ask him everything, you can say everything to his face. Whatever, he's a celebrity, not a person.

And this is where that cover is a GENIUS move.

On the cover, there are NO gimmicks. No bolero, no bowl cut, no bare chest with a tattoo. Just his face. You HAVE to watch his face, there is nothing else to see. You have to watch his emotion being raw, he's crying. This is not a pleasant cover to see. And I know, I've had spotify open on his face all day friday while I was working, it felt awful. But it makes you do something.

You have to acknowledge his humanity. And there's no way around it.

I love Käärijä

[magicpiano]

The thing about ride the cyclone is that I can't even really explain to people why it is such an amazing musical or why it has such a profound emotional effect on me because then I would need to explain the plot, which is pretty much impossible.

Like I could say, "it is about 6 teenagers who die in a rollercoaster accident and play a game in the afterlife to decide which of them gets to go back to life." But that doesn't even begin to scratch the surface.

One character sings a tear wrenching song about the woman he was in love with as he mourns the fact he never got to marry her. This song is directly followed by a song about being a furry and wanting to have sex with alien cat girls. The next song is straight up one of the best I have ever heard in musical theater where a nameless dead girl laments her loss of identity because seemingly no one cared enough about her in life to even identify her body. Literally seconds after this they, I shit you not, sing the fucking happy birthday song. Also a rat plays the bass.

Ride the cyclone is literally incomprehensible and one of the best shows I have ever seen. Go watch it.

[earthstellar]

Brave Bang Bravern!: A Review for Transformers Fans

I've seen so much about this on my dash that I had to give it a try, and I gotta say, as someone who hasn't watched any new anime series since around 2008 at the most recent and I also hate the fucking military, this is a pretty good show.

THERE WILL BE SOME MILD SPOILERS. Nothing major. I'm not gonna spoil anything critical or mention characters that are introduced later etc. At of time of writing, only 6 episodes have been released.

Understanding Genre: The Trailer is A Lie

Now, while there is a trailer here, I want you to largely disregard it.

Why is that? Well, we need to talk about the "big two" robot show genres in Japan, which are as follows:

Real Robot -- This refers to a typically military setting or other serious setting, in which robots are handled as realistically as possible in terms of how they work and how they are applied. There tend to be less individual/sentient robots and more "suit" type mechs right along side human-made, more realistic machinery and mech designs, although that isn't entirely unique to this genre. Usually this stuff is labelled as sci-fi/action outside of Japan.

Super Robot (THIS IS THE SHIT TRANSFORMERS FANS GENERALLY WANT) --Essentially borderline seemingly magical robots with their own rules and in universe backstory for how they work, which isn't necessarily tied to realism. Usually this stuff is labelled as sci-fi/fantasy or space fantasy outside of Japan, since a lot of these tend to be space robots. They can be "driven" by pilots or just straight up sentient robots who are vibing with some human companions, although it's not exclusively that. It can be both, it can be neither, but no matter what, Super Robot shows are less about strict realism and more about really cool shit with robots that are basically their own people and exist according to their own rules.

Now, the trailer for BBBB (the acronym for the show is based on the Japanese title, which is Bang Brave Bang Bravern) is a COMPLETE FUCKING LIE.

It wants you to think this is going to be some dumbass GI Joe shit.

While there are elements of dumbass GI Joe shit, this is largely just to set up the premise for why shit is happening in the first place, and to help introduce the main threat (alien space creatures with fucking light beam lasers) as well as bring in our main characters under the premise of everyone having to work together to address this alien threat to Earth.

What we care about here amongst Transformers freaks is gay space robots, and this show delivers.

Getting Into Bravern: First Episode, Mild Plot Spoiler Summary

It wants you to think this is a Real Robot show.

The first episode sets things up as though it will be a Real Robot show.

There is a threat to Earth, a mystery space alien mechanical enemy, and nobody knows what the fuck to do. A military exercise between multiple nations using Titanostriders (which look very much like Shiro Masamune Appleseed-style mechs, human made in nature) to practice battle drills who are now instructed to swap over to real ammunition and go to fucking town.

Nobody knows how to do that.

They're skilled with the Titanostriders, sure, but it turns into a shit show. The alien mechanical enemies are using fucking space laser shit, it's a disaster---

--And then Bravern drops in from the fucking sky and it IMMEDIATELY TURNS INTO A SUPER ROBOT SHOW.

There's a "get in the robot, Shiji" moment where one of the Titanostrider operators, Isami Ao, is encouraged by Bravern to get inside of him.

He does. And immediately has no idea what the fuck is going on, Bravern is largely in control, and starts to blast his own theme song inside his cockpit as diegetic music while Isami is generally losing his shit, as one might do.

Humanity's reaction to Bravern is Real Robot genre type, where it is handled seriously by all the characters and organisations involved in universe, however Bravern is very much a Super Robot genre character who brings more of a Super Robot energy to the show at large.

The serious elements are mostly balanced by how fucking silly Bravern is, and there are some excellent moments in this show (currently only 6 episodes have been released) which make it entirely worth a watch.

Fun Things About Bravern Himself

Braven is very, very, very gay for his pilot.

Chances are, you've seen the screenshots of some of these moments on Tumblr already, but the delivery of these lines is magnificent.

Bravern sings his own theme song. It's the voice actor for Bravern doing the vocals, and the song itself is reminiscent of 1970s orchestrated big band energy mecha themes. For Transformers fans, it has a very Transformers Victory theme kind of vibe to it.

You gotta hear it, it fucking rules. The album cover shows Bravern holding a giant microphone.

Bravern is generally light hearted, doing his best to motivate his pilot while not hesitating to enter the action and try to defend humanity.

Now, why does Bravern care about humans so much? We don't know, but we'll talk about some mysteries in a later section below.

He is surprisingly insightful at times, while also fucking around and enjoying himself. (You may have seen screenshots going around Tumblr of Bravern with a loop of hot dogs strung around one of his chevron points on his forehead. This follows a scene in which he wants his pilot to take a break and associate with his peers for once, as a way to relieve stress. So they go to a bar, it turns out reception is positive and someone even brings weenies out for Bravern since he's too big to fit inside, lol.)

Generally, he's a very interesting mech, because we have so little information about him. He's fun, and clearly vibing, but he's also borderline if not outright obsessed with his pilot and has unknown origins, which has lead to some darker interpretations and audience discussion.

A lot of people have compared Bravern's energy to Rodimus, and generally I would agree with that. He has his high-energy silly moments, and his more serious personal moments (primarily with Isami, but also with Smith), and I think these aspects of his character work well to create a fun mech with the potential to be deep in a believable and effective way, with an equal capacity for being a doofus.

Bravern is obviously the number one reason to watch the show for most people, and I would say that if you're purely here for a giant gay space robot, then this is going to be a decent watch.

The Military Sucks: There Are Militaries Involved Yet Somehow This Is Still Watchable

I hate the fucking military, so at least the military here is depicted in an acceptable way (so far, at least). In episode 2, they waterboard Isami to interrogate him for information he doesn't have regarding Bravern, which is a realistically shitty and awful thing for the military to do-- They don't sugarcoat how fucked up the military is. These people very much have the capacity to harm their own staff, and they will do so if it means they might get an edge over the enemy.

At the same time, the actual characters in the military are depicted as primarily doing this shit out of a genuine personal desire to defeat these horrendously destructive space entities, which have attacked at least some of their home towns and home countries, so it's more personal rather than purely being a military directive that people are being forced to follow.

In this way, it's not really realistic, but everyone is on board for their own largely humanitarian aid type of reasons (there is a mission which is basically just locating survivors of an attack and then getting the fuck out) which makes the military context feel less oppressive and shitty.

Part of why this is more OK than other military depictions is because the military forces involved here are international (collaborating to defeat a global threat rather than kill each other's civilians) and because the military is clearly losing this war.

Because it's an international effort, this brings more diversity to the show-- There's a surprising amount of English interspersed between dialogue in Japanese here and there, and the military board consists of representatives from multiple nations, including some Germans who at first believe Bravern is some kind of secret American operation, lmao.

Bravern calls the military out on its shit, and essentially tells the military board to stop with the suspicious infighting bullshit and drop the internal tension because otherwise they'll all die to this mechanical nightmare creature threat.

They actually listen, which means this is an unrealistic portrayal of the military, lmao. I think they struck a good balance so far between showing that the military sucks and has problems, while also making sure that you're not really cheering for any given military force, but rather, you cheer for individual characters who just happen to be stuck doing this military shit as a premise for anything to be going on in the show at all.

So it's not the worst when it comes to the military shit; At least so far, it's watchable, which as someone who passionately hates the fucking military, is surprising to me.

It's less GI Joe and more "we just needed a reason for these characters to be involved in this situation".

Of course, your mileage may vary, but personally I found it easy to tune out or just skip through any military shit that got grating and I didn't miss anything important by doing so. At the very least, you can skip around and ignore a lot of this stuff and get right to the gay robot if that's all you want to do. It becomes clear pretty quickly what's going on if you skip around a bit, so no worries there.

Fun Speculation: What is Bravern?

Only 6 episodes are out at the moment, so there's tons of shit we don't know yet.

Bravern has a notable resemblance to a type of enemy in the show, called a Death-Drive.

Death-Drives are mecha who are distinct from the "minion" type enemies (which almost resemble flying saucers with laser gun arms and light shields), and have their own unique character designs and names.

Why these things are here, how they are here, why they are interested in Earth, and everything else is currently unknown.

Bravern looks like he could possibly be of the same mechanical species, although we don't know if that's true (yet). He has abilities that the other mecha don't seem to have, but how far this goes and what it might mean is not yet clear.

Bravern also seems to have knowledge of human media (he references The Abyss at one point and he likes 3D printing figures of sentai show characters lmao), and was immediately able to speak to the humans using language they would understand, so it's unclear if Bravern may have been studying Earth for some time before his arrival or why.

He is obsessed with his pilot and cares for him so much that he extends some care towards others purely based on their relation to Isami as co-workers; Why? What makes Isami special?

How does Bravern know seemingly every human language? How does his piloting system work? How similar is he to the Death-Drives-- Are organic beings critical to them in some way? If so, why are the other mechs killing so many of us? (These are big questions especially by the end of episode 6, due to some spoilers and a spoiler character who shows up later.)

We know little to nothing about a lot of the key elements of the show, including any motivations for the Death-Drives or what they are, what's up with the fucking UFO looking laser things, etc.

There's more to speculate on, but that would be getting into deeper spoiler territory so I'm gonna hold back on that for now.

Summary: It's Gay and Cool and Has Interesting Ideas

Bravern's not the sole source of gay vibes in this show, but it's fun that he is also a source of gay vibes in this show.

The designs are great, the Titanostriders remind me of Appleseed style mechanical suit designs which is nice, the Death-Drives are super interesting, Bravern is fucking fabulous but he's not too goofy to take seriously, and the military is unfortunately present but it's clear that they suck and are generally losing (and since the conflict is not between different groups of humans but rather is about human collaboration to defeat a non-human shared threat to our entire planet, this goes a long way to make the military shit tolerable).

It pretends to be a Real Robot show but has so much Super Robot show sprinkled in that you might as well consider it a little bit of both which the show balances pretty well.

I haven't watched an anime since around 2008 at the very latest, so I don't know how this might compare to any other robot animes since then and I am certainly not an anime expert by any means LOL, but this has been a fun show to watch so far.

It does have its problems, of course, but if you can get past the setup for the first episode (when it's still pretending to be a Real Robot show), from the moment Bravern arrives towards the end of that first episode, the show gains momentum and starts to get interesting very quickly.

It has some issues. But we're only 6 episodes in, so at the moment, they have plenty of time to potentially address those issues and we'll see where things go.

I'd recommend it if you want to give it a try!

I think there's enough here to appeal to the usual Transformers crowd and you might end up liking it, or at least having fun while watching it in the background.

If you end up wanting to to tap out then no worries-- I think it's worth giving it a shot and if it's not your thing, no problem.

Each episode is around 25 - 30 minutes, so while the first episode might feel like a slog to get through because fuck the military, once Bravern shows up the show actually gets started and I wouldn't blame anyone for just skipping to that point in the first episode and going from there, because there's nothing in that opening that you won't be reminded of or be able to figure out. It mostly just sets up the intro to the human characters and the collaboration training session, introduces the Titanostriders as a thing, and you can always go back and watch that part later if you want to.

All in all, pretty decent! Obviously we're Transformers people so we're here for the robots, and the robots are interesting and fun, and that's all I need to have a good time.

Hopefully this was a useful summary if you're interested or have seen Bravern stuff on your dash! :)

Thanks for reading!

BONUS: I forgot to mention this somehow, but there's a lot of overlap between Transformers and other Brave shows involving actual Transformers re-used in Japan for these shows; There's a good video about it here on YouTube which explains some of this, but if anyone's wondering, yes Bravern has a grounder alt-mode and it's pretty cool. Will we get a transforming Bravern figure??? We can hope!

There's another video here which mentions some of the Transformers elements in other Brave shows/Yuusha, which might be interesting for those of you who are unaware. :)

[8531nimkook]

Joining the discussion on who decided to enlist through the buddy system for who's sake:

When people bring up the amount of black belts jimin has or whatever, they are missing the point because I don't think the expectation from jk here is to become a human shield in any type of physical altercation. Or lift weights on jimin's behalf. its companionship. The mental support that comes with knowing someone is on your side. If the Face album is any indication, with songs like Alone, we know he has struggled with being on his own. How much harder will it be in a completely alien setting with people who might dehumanise you and view you as some sort of celebrity unicorn?

(Not to mention the homophobia towards idols. And again, why do people think the homophobia will manifest itself as physical violence first? It always starts with psychological bullying. That's harder to handle than a fist fight imo. Its easier to single someone out if its an idol by himself. but if its 2 people, its a little harder. (aka, let them fucking try) )

The isolation will not be fun, at least at the beginning. Do I think jimin would be able to eventually get through it and make friends etc? Yeah, totally.

But here's the thing. I don't think jk is much better than jimin with these things. We always joke and nudge each other when he goes live everytime jimin goes overseas. Does that mean nothing? Emotional attachment is a thing and thinking its only jungkook who's been an emotional comfort to jimin is going a bit too far.

Edit: just remembered all the times jk is sad/in tears and beelines straight for jimin, like there's 3 occasions where that happens on camera. That's his emotional support park jimin, y'all.

I think they both thought it was better if they had someone on their side through this, so they don't get bored, feel lonely, become a target for any sort of toxicity etc. and decided it would be better and far less of a hassle if they could just do the whole thing together and get it over with. Jimin and jungkook are superb at teamwork. So they're playing to their strengths.

The buddy system was introduced to avoid soldiers taking their life. I don't think someone is pushed to that extent just because of the physicality of it all. Its slow, toxic torture. So idk how a black belt would help. Just saying.

[loving-family-poll]

Ultimate Incest Tournament - Round 4

Propaganda under the cut:

Gerard/Mikey:

Vocalist and bassist respectively of my chemical romance. they are insanely codependent (describing themselves as the same person just different heights etc). gerard has also licked mikeys nipple onstage. good times

Gerard is decidedly super abnormal about mikey. he has written many songs about him that are always adjacent to straight up love songs. he has also been explicitly sexual with him (giving him a pantomime handjob, caressing his chest, saying he looks like a hooker etc etc) while also constantly babying him. theyre codependent and they finish each others sentences and theyre in ickydisgusting brotherlove❤️❤️❤️❤️

Grew up together as the outsiders in their New Jersey town and spent their teenhoods together in a musty basement. Mikey learned to walk by running after Gerard and face-planting. Gerard drew comics for Mikey and told him stories. They went to a Smashing Pumpkins concert together and decided that being in a band is what they wanted out of life. Mikey learned the bass because Gerard was in bands and he wanted to join. Gerard called up Mikey after witnessing 9/11 and told him they're gonna start a band. Everything they do is together, they love each other. And isn't it so much fun to turn that incest?

Mikey Way wrote a comic where the main character, who looks like him from the black parade era, gets a woman pregnant. Which isn't incestuous on its own, but she looks like the female version of Gerard Way from the black parade era. Love is love or something

Dave/Rose:

Daverose blondetwin sweep because they were codependent without ever meeting from growing up seeing each other in their dreams

What does it mean to be an abused teenage boy growing up alone and seeing a girl in your dreams every night who is also your best friend. and when you finally meet her you go on a suicide mission together even though nobody was asking you to die with her. and then you are the only two human beings left in the recognizable universe on a cold meteor surrounded by aliens but you’re glad it’s with her. and when you finally touch the girl from your childhood dreams she looks exactly like you. because she’s your sister

I don't have words for how good these snarky assholes are together. DaveRose is brain chemistry changing. They both put up so many fronts, and engage in so much snarky wordplay, and are constantly trying to get under each other's facade. They play off each other so well, witty and sharp, I need them to be together always

We all die & we all die alone are the two cold truths of the universe but dave and rose broke both simultaneously by ascending to godhood together

Their twincest wins because it is just so confusingly tragic? profound? dave leaving rose behind in a doomed world, dave following her to the bomb. they are both so closed & cut off & curt its hard to imagine the depth of these things. but that is their love language: giving up their lives for each other over and over, in a confusing and fumbling and heartfelt love song. i can’t say i love you but i know we’ll die together anyway. because we’re made of the exact same stuff. i’ll find you again at the last moment. that’s love.

THEY DIED TOGETHER, YOUR HONOR

Confirmed canon by the author, (something happened) between them. Parallels of dying by each other's sides in EVERY timeline. They are THE womb-to-tomb. There is nothing platonic about winking at your brother while talking about crushes, that shit is incestuous. Seer/Knight archetype. They will die protecting each other.

do you realize love someone if you don’t follow them on a suicide mission into the gaping maw of a literal fucking sun after they knock you out and psychoanalyze you in your dreams? the blueprint of the “ethereal androgynous blonde boygirl twins” trope. witch/knight dynamics. they find each other to die together in every timeline no matter what (but they’re still emotionally constipated teenagers who bicker and make fun of each other in pesterchum). kids with grown-up powers. perfect little freaks of nature. what if we looked exactly like each other’s eyes

[the-alien-stage]

This round has left me speechless. I watched it twice, with subtitles on and one without and so now let's get straight into the analysis. My hands are still shaking.

To begin, the human experimentation isn't as touched on as we thought, however it DOES foreshadow what the fuck is gonna happen in Luka's round. That, at least, seems to be what they are building up to.

This melody they have eeriely resembles what Ivan had for his round, which makes this all the more tragic. The lyrics themselves, however, are a mix of the two boys. Both of them had love songs, but Till's portion is more rough around the edges with it like his song while Ivan is straight to the point.

While they don't focus on human experimentation, it does seem to look like there was an intermission phase where both of the boys were advertised. This shows a soft moment between the two as Till lays unconscious and Ivan huddles up to him and does a very awkward cuddle.

Now, getting to the part where we all kind of lost our shit. Ivan sees the scoreboard off screen, looks at his mic and the Till and throws it as he walks to Till and makes out with him. This isn't an exaggeration, as a kiss implies one but he does multiple.

Till at first doesn't realize what is happening, he is still very much traumatized and zoned out over what happened to Mizi. Even the aliens that are caring for him seem to be hanging it over him. Whether they know his feelings for her or are just doing it because he is another contestant, who knows.

However, once he gets a handle on things, he pushes Ivan away who comes right back. This is when Ivan "chokes" Till and this, I took note of. Ivan does a specific hold, a safe-choke hold, when choking somebody that isn't actually choking the person. He purposely does this to protect Till and to fool the audience. This is when he begins to get shot at, the entire time his eyes are on Till.

I think it's also important to mention that they are wearing black and white, complete contrasts. However, it mimics Sua and Mizi who had the same fate. Sua and Ivan even had an interaction before all of this at Anakt Garden where Ivan made fun of her wanting to sacrifice herself for Mizi, and yet he shows himself to be a hypocrite as he smiles at Till before closing his eyes one last time.

Till has advanced to the next round to go against Luka and quite frankly, I'm terrified on how it's going to end. Mizi is a peace keeper but Luka was able to push her to violence. Till also has a personal vendetta against the blond for pushing Mizi. This won't end well.

Finally, for those that didn't watch till the end (HA), Dewey and Isaac are freaking out as their walkie-talkie system seems to be going off because Hyuna got injured. Mizi is fretting over her as she tries to stop the blood flow but it does seem that they have gotten caught.

Theory wise, I'm going to think that Hyuna is going to make Mizi a. Run or b. Hide to protect her as she gets taken away, and that's going to get her into Round 7.

Okay bye, I haven't emotionally recovered from Round 6 sorry pookies

[keepingupwithzaynmalik]

How Zayn Drew Inspiration From Chris Stapleton and Embraced Honesty on New Single ‘Alienated’

On the latest episode of The Breakdown, the musician explains how listening to Stapleton and Willie Nelson inspired the songwriting on his upcoming album Room Under the Stairs, out May 17

Zayn could have easily wrapped his real-life experiences around convoluted metaphors and hidden messages on his latest single, “Alienated.” And he might have on previous records, but as the musician explained on the latest episode of Rolling Stone‘s The Breakdown: he isn’t trying to trick you.

“I feel like the whole intention behind this record is I’ve sang a lot of stuff in there that’s real straightforward. There’s not too many mind games going on. So I’m hoping people will understand the concept themselves and get with it,” Zayn said. “It’s a special song, in that sense, because it really solidified that I could do something in this space for myself.”

“Alienated” marked a significant starting point for his upcoming album Room Under the Stairs (out May 17), which Zayn wrote and produced with a technician before bringing on Dave Cobb as co-producer. It puts aside the glossy R&B of his earlier releases in favor of a more rustic and soulful sound inspired by the likes of Chris Stapleton and Willie Nelson.

“First idea for this song came to me maybe about five or six years ago now, when I was living in [Pennsylvania] and just in a place where felt like I wanted to write something that was a little bit more elevated, and a little bit more insightful than the music that I’d been putting out at that point,” Zayn explained. “I just got in the studio and kind of felt it. I was just feeling alienated at the time in certain situations. That was kind of the sentiment behind the whole idea of the song, so that’s why I felt it fit as the title. And I explain in the song exactly why I’m feeling that way, how I have dealt with those situations, and how it’s felt in that place.”

Zayn sums up “Alienated” with an equally straightforward description: “It’s fucking honest.” And that descriptor extends beyond the songwriting, influencing his approach to the record’s production as well. “Everything that was in there from the beginning stayed to the end. I didn’t feel myself having to censor anything,” he shared. “And that was obviously another great thing about making music like this, you know, all the imperfections and all the things that are in there are intentional and genuine. I kept them in for that reason, I wanted it to feel that way.”

He added: “Obviously, Dave Cobb just elevated it, made it sound way better because that’s what he does. We brought him on to to bring the final magic to the song, but the original production was just me and my technician. I think the main focus on this record for the instruments was always guitar. It was always going to be that. Originally it was gonna be just an acoustic-sounding record where it was just gonna be guitars and maybe drums. And then eventually, as the idea developed more and built more identity, we started to figure out homes for other instruments that could be used on that, too.”

Speaking about collaborating with Zayn in a recent interview with Rolling Stone, Cobb praised his approach to retaining the raw emotions in his performances. “What got me about Zayn was his voice, you can hear love, loss, pain, triumph and humanity in it. I feel as if this record is removing the glass from his spirit directly to his fans,” he said. “Zayn has really created his own universe on this record, he really has no fear and is speaking straight from his soul.”

VIA ROLLING STONE

[emeraldspiral]

AU where instead of a normal public skool Zim ends up going to a private religious skool.

The show was pitched with the idea that Zim would be introduced to normal primary school experiences like cooties, class elections, trying to make friends, shitty cafeteria food, going to the nurse, etc... and take everything too serious/literal or wildly misinterpret it and respond to it in some zany way to either protect his identity or take advantage of it for his world domination schemes.

So just imagine how much more fucked up the show would be if it was that, but with Zim being introduced to Toxic Christianity. It'd be like Moral Orel, except all the misunderstandings lead him to do fucked up things on purpose. Immoral Orel.

He would totally snitch on his his classmates, accusing them of random crimes like cussing or listening to "Devil music" to make himself look like a Good Christian Boy. But even though he has no idea what makes a word a "curse word" or what makes something "Devil worship" it still works because there's always someone who can stretch the definition to apply to anything. He adopts homophobic and misogynistic stances, but can't tell humans apart and can never figure out what gender conforming behavior should look like for himself or his classmates.

He'd have GIR making shitty Christian pop music that's just regular love songs with "girl" and "baby" replaced with "Jesus" or try to pass himself off as a prophet or the second coming of Jesus to build a cult around himself. Or maybe he'd become convinced that the humans' "God" is actually an alien passing itself off as a divine being and seeks to overthrow him to make the humans worship him instead. Or he'd think "Hell" is what the humans call their worst prison/torture chamber/secret government lab where he'll be sent to be dissected if he blows his cover or misbehaves too much in class.

He would also struggle a lot more with presenting himself as "normal" by human Christian standards because he's not straight, non-binary, and intersex and barely understands the concept of human cis-heteronormativism. He completely fails to see the parallels between his own rigid, fascist upbringing where all sex and all relationships are seen as abhorrent and everyone's lives are devoted to the Tallest and the Control Brains and the ways of these "primitive, superstitious humans and their confusing social customs".

Dib in this scenario is no longer a believer but his fundie dad still makes him go to that skool. He gets in trouble all the time for challenging anti-science BS like climate change denial, creationism, and the anti-vax movement and calling out homophobia, misogyny, and toxic, conservative attitudes about sex. But like, he thinks because he no longer believes in all that stuff he's smarter and better than everyone else, but actually he's still in the process of deprogramming and unlearning the Purity Culture mindset. He still struggles with judging things based on his own disgust rather than whether they're objectively harmful and regards Zim as just pure evil rather than a fellow victim of fascist indoctrination and thinks that justifies him working out his pent-up aggression by bullying him.

The sexual tension between Zim and Dib is all the more palpable because of the extremely unaccepting environment and both of them having internalized homophobia.

[fullmetalgirl98]

30 days Hypnosis Mic challenge

DAY 9: favorite duet song

🎤 「Murder at the House of Magic (奇術館の殺人 / Kijutsu-kan no Satsujin) 」 - Gentaro & Dice (2nd duet)

(link)

Just to make it immediately clear: my obsession level is high (yes, this post is going to be super long, and yes, I apologize in advance for that). I'm not exaggerating when I say that I know every single word of this song by heart. I even made a fanart for this song. Check it out, if you're curious 👉 (link)

I became aware of the existence of this duet far too late, in April 2022, i think??, and in the saddest way possible: through the wiki while searching for only God knows now what kind of other stuff. Of course, considering that Dice and Gentaro are two of my fave characters ever, it was a scandal for me not to have known earlier about the existence of a new duet of theirs, other than Once upon a time in Shibuya, which is iconic in itself, so I went crazy, obviously, and dashed off in search of the song (with very little success, I have to say)... and when I finally found it and it started playing, I almost had a heart attack. What. the actual. hell. was. that.

I expected everything, except something of that sort.

Right from the very first notes, I knew this was gonna be BIG stuff. I mean, VERY BIG.

The vibe it gave me, initially, was something alien, the instrumental intro smelled a lot like the X-files theme song to me (link).

Then Gentaro started, in his usual calm and sexy tone, and I caught the word "satsujin jiken". But so far, let's say, nothing exceptionally new. I knew I should expect some mystery to solve... I mean, the title spoke loud ¯\(ツ)/¯

But poor little naive Anna, soon after the bomb was dropped straight to the center of an indefinite part of my brain.

A serious Dice.

A bloody serious Dice. A Dice that, instead of rapping, was literally speaking (or at least, the initial impression was seriously that). I...I've never heard Dice speaking in such a hard, deadly serious yet sexy, defiant, cocky and confident tone, like... I- ... I didn't even think he could ever speak in such a way!? Like. Dice. HELLO?! Where is my genuine idiotic cute drenched cat gone?! I'm scared?? But at the same time extremely intrigued?? WTF?! Help??!! Let's make one thing clear: when I first heard the song, I obviously had not read the translation yet. So, how shall I explain what I thought ... mhm... the impression was that he was speaking not in a good-guy-trying-to-be-cool sense, absolutely not. His tone was blatantly the tone of a thug. And a particularly dangerous one. The impact of the very first verse of his, "Danna shindanda na, zannen da" was something absurd. I swear. Something of disarming power. And then the tone used in the "tamannee na" immediately afterwards. Guys, I swear to you. I had completely lost my mind. I was totally in love with this new Dice, you have no idea. I was going crazy, I just wanted to know WHY he was talking in that absolutely crazy HOT way. I LOVE how it's clearly perceivable that Dice is speaking with a smirk on his face, that of someone who is sure that he cannot be set up. And I could go on listing word by word all the vocal proclivities that have slowly sent me further and further into the hyperuranium BUT I will refrain from doing so for your sake, because this post would probably become longer than it already is going to be. And then the refrain. Simply BRILLIANT. I mean, it's already not enough that this too, like Stella, is a song set up as a story told by Gentaro, in which he then becomes one of the characters in the plot (you can't tell I have logic behind my preferences, can you?), but a semi-occult code was also inserted?????? Who the hell came up with the idea of putting the spelling of Dice and Gentaro's names at the beginning of each verse of the chorus? WHO? Give a fucking award to the composer, I beg you: (A)Up & down, Rikou na yatsu wo, Sukkari damashite Ganchuu nai Wakattenda Dare na no ka Izure wa Subete wo raizarai;

Yurusan, Meshi toraeru, Nogasanai shi Genkei nai Takara, Rou sezu shite, Umaku moratte Say Good Bye I don't know if i'm making the point clear enough, here.

And then the whole Uh!(Ah!)Uh!Uh!(Ah!) thing. Gentaro firing off his "Ichi wa ichi, zero wa zero, hachi wa hachi" with that studied air of his who knows he has the other guy completely on the hook. And the way you can perfectly sense that the mood of the conversation is starting to turn against Dice, when he throws out that "Nani?!" and then that "Kuso!" so particularly intense (KYAAAAAHHH (⁄ ⁄>⁄ ▽ ⁄<⁄ ⁄)).

OH, and I can't help but mention how the "Hachiji nijuppun" thing practically became a meme between me and @justanotherniky (fixed message in chat at 8:20 p.m.: "HACHIJI NIJUPPUN" when we don't happen to forget about it).

I swear guys, you have no idea how much I lost my mind behind this duet. Because c'mon, I don't know if you guys are realizing, but it's fucking genius. And, last but not least, how not to mention the classic "Uso desu kedo ne~" at the close. Epic.

[dawsonscreekwasalwaysbad]

funniest parts of inside job pt 2

mommy likey drinky

“santa is fake! but student debt is real!” “you had to learn sometime, brayden”

“this is gonna be the most globally damaging midlife crisis since elon musk” oh that is APT

“ok boomer”

“are you poland? because that german guy straight-up owned you”

reagan saying that alex jones “looks like an orangutan fucked a fire hydrant”

“i’m the only one left who will listen to me!”

spending the whole episode confused on why oprah is back and then seeing her yell “i’m not the first oprah!”

“our missions do feel suspiciously like b-stories”

“why is my wallet on a metal leash? where would it be trying to go?”

lights being mothman’s kryptonite is a very obvious joke but it still works every time

KEANU FUCKING REEVES

“MOTHERFUCKER!” “well, he is fucking reagan’s mother, so yes. motherfucker.”

*takes out a lotus* “i don’t put these in my pocket. they grow there spontaneously.”

“i’m feeling drained from staring meaningfully into the distance”

“after dating so many billionaires, his millionaire lifestyle keeps me grounded”

the pussy posse being amazed and confounded by brett’s respect women juice

the real reason leonardo dicaprio only dates women under 25

“someone on the internet found out margot robbie is cgi” FINALLY SOMEONE WHO AGREES WITH ME

reagan accidentally imitating owen wilson

“when i’m done with you, men will look at you the way they look at me: briefly!”

gigi’s reaction to her make-under: “i wanna cyberbully myself!”

tamiko’s reaction to rand turning into a literal manchild: “way to turn subtext into text, rand”

myc’s absolutely SAVAGE comebacks at the constitution heist

“how would the founding fathers feel about this?” “probably the same way your father feels about you”

“ok, give me the word and i’ll blow the hell out of this thing” “said your ex-wife to brett’s dick”

“aliens? a woman being in charge of a team? nobody’s gonna believe this!”

“it’s a psychic union where everyone thinks the same and acts the same like fucking marvel fans” HGFHJGSDHKJHSJGH

“the last time i saw a white guy that generic, he was on a don’t walk sign!”

“fresh dirt is brought to you by blue apron. do you only care about the environment when it’s super convenient?”

INCEL STEVE

“how did he get that hoodie?”

“WE’VE BEEN FUCKED BY THE POPE!” “for the love of god, CONTEXT!”

saying “when in rome” is half the reason people come to rome

the gay dog weddings

“i now pronounce you two very good boys!”

“that’s me in the corner, losing my religion.”

reagan offending the italians (again)

“oh man, if god is real, i’m fucked”

“in the name of the father the son and the HOLY SHIT”

in a vow to make air travel as inconvenient as possible, the third wright brother invented sharing an armrest

“i deserve to be punished. i still quote borat sometimes”

“look! a woman’s ankle!”

*takes one look at hell* “those flamin’ hot cheetos commercials really nailed it.”

“i love cable news. it’s like watching the apocalypse in slow motion.”

gigi describing brett as “the comic sans of people”

andre reminding us how old millennials are now

“destroying your brother’s political legacy. what are you, a bush?”

the ayn rand tattoo

brett accidentally unionizing and legalizing sex work

“the solution just seemed so obvious”

“because faking your own death worked so well last time, reagan. redundant much?”

“maybe all conspiracies are real!” “oh, that’s not good.”

brett’s lil brett puppet

lil brett dying

lil brett going absolutely batshit crazy during the entire end credits of that episode

“you look like a white girl at burning man!”

the coughing and face-touching station

“the only way you’re associated with the number 300 is in pounds.” “you calling me fat?” “explicitly!”

“i literally have no idea what you’re going to say next!” “vagina egg.”

“i feel like we have the same interests. wanna start a podcast?” “no! this is like a siren song for straight white men!”

reagan once used cheetos as croutons

*route 96 turns into route 69* “haha, nice”

the fact that andre is just the original text of the “one fear” meme

“fun for ages six to six and a half!”

berenstain bears originally being berenstein makes SO MUCH SENSE

“and finally the rich white underdogs became the rich white ruling class. an inspirational story”

jr refusing to put his shirt back on

brett gives a tinfoil hat to the shazaam poster and it WORKS

“turns out i wasn’t pregnant, i just had way too much del taco” “i’ve been there”

“you said something nice, but it felt mean!”

mothman’s alternate timeline was a reverse of the fly

andre is canonically into tentacle hentai

lampshading the plot holes

“me? in charge of a whole workforce, like santa?”

“how many oscars is meryl streep supposed to have? three seems kinda low”

andre, just having shoved nixon back into his grave, now covered in blood and holding a shovel: “i don’t wanna talk about it”

air bud!!

“i could beat a dog in chess! probably.” same, brett, same

[bisluthq]

I fail to see how Taylor marketed the album as joever when all she said was it was in the works for 2 years (and imo the earlier songs are probably the ones with Aaron that are more abstract or her as a storyteller of other people's stories with some self insert, and there were probably songs similar to ylm that didn't make the album cause it wasn't a messy breakup for her to experience, it was a long and slow demise that she pulled the plug on and ran into something passionate and ultimately toxic).

People still say the name is making fun of Joe's group chat but did anyone listen to the song TTPD with their ears on and still believe that (I'm looking at the sunday times style interviewer with Joe right now lol). She's making fun of her and Matty being wanker tortured poets imo lol. Like the typewriter is from TTPD where they sell their sadness and madness. If she said 'you left your playbook at my house straight from the Kansas training grounds ' it wouldn't be any more or less deep, you left your shit from work here. But it seems to be written as a love song in present tense, so she loved his little tortured poets but even if she thought it was silly. But then she DID fall victim to sadness and madness that he was a catalyst for and wrote fucking poetry about it and turned into a caricature of herself and how writers have been stereotyped but instead of hiding from it she just went 'fine I guess I'm the chairman of TTPD now! Lock me up, lock your doors and warn your children about me! Put me in an asylum! Study my brain because no one understands why I'm feeling this way so fucking study me! Give me an MRI and see what's going on in there because I don't fucking know either maybe there's an alien artifact buried in my brain because what else can explain this manic phase other than aliens or actual illness...??? Isn't that what they all say...*smirks*

That's how I see it anyway lol

I like this take and it’s also kinda how I see it! I think TTPD went through many iterations btw before we got to the anthology.

[junjiie]

해찬  ##  🗯️ ⠀ &THEAFTERPARTY..

eight took you long enough. ⠀ wc 1.9k. ⠀ warnings none.

the first day on the job hadn’t been as unbearably awful as donghyuck had expected it to be.

there were still some parts he would’ve rather never have happened—those largely being the appearance of his closest friends one by one, each going out of their way to be ‘supportive’ (read: mark and jake) but only succeededing in being irritating, or coming in only to order the most complicated drink they could think of for the sole purpose of annoying him (read: jiung and renjun), and the drink he’d fucked up for a kid that didn’t look a day over sixteen. 

he was on his second night now, the time on the only slightly scary-looking garfield clock mounted on the wall ticking just past one in the morning as he wiped down tabletops and hummed absently to a song mark had been playing in his apartment that morning. his thoughts were wandering while he cleaned, and when he caught sight of you cracking up at something a now put-out looking soobin had said they took a turn in your direction.

things with you hadn’t been unbearably awful, not in the slightest—it was more that they hadn’t been at all. you’d granted him a “hey, hyuck” accompanied by a small wave on his first night before a boy called junhyeon had shown him the ropes despite looking like he didn’t particularly want to, while simultaneously bickering with another boy named gyuvin about the proper place the mugs were supposed to go, but apart from that it’d been radio silence. he supposed making eye contact occasionally and acknowledging each other’s presence didn’t really count as being on amicable terms again.

a voice yelled at him from the back of his mind, sounding suspiciously like renjun as it told him to just get over himself and apologise. he scowled down at the smooth wooden surface of the table he must’ve wiped over at least five times by now, about to discard the idea for the nth time, but then he stopped. stopped and considered.

it would make things less awkward between you. his friends would stop complaining. soobin might stop giving him eyes that, if looks could kill, would’ve put him far deeper than just six feet under. it would make shifts at the coffee shop a better experience on the whole if he had two people of his own age to talk to, instead of standing and either lying witness to junhyeon and gyuvin’s arguing or having to try and make conversation with shota—who, if he was being honest, hyuck didn’t understand all that much. the first question he asked him in person was if he knew that much about aliens, and all hyuck could do was shake his head and stand there helpless as he listened to the subsequent full account of every theory and apparent sighting there had ever been, in chronological order. it was like the kid had been at every one of them.

so, on the whole, getting his shit together and apologising had more pros than cons. haechan took a breath and looked over his shoulder to where you were currently taking advantage of the lull in activity to make yourself a drink, before making the split-second decision to get it over and done with right there and then. better tonight than never.

he put on his best mark lee accent in his head to give himself a very last second pep talk, but misjudged the amount of time it would take him to abandon the cloth he was using to clean and walk over behind the counter to reach you. he was only halfway through the sentence if it goes wrong you can just quit before he was staring at where your back was currently turned to him and wondering how the hell to start up a conversation without sounding like someone was holding a gun to the back of his head.

thankfully you noticed his presence (that he hoped didn’t seem too ominous, or eerie, or just straight up strange) and did the hard work for him after one long sip from your self-made coffee.

“uh. hi? you good, hyuck?”

you only looked mildly curious instead of something more along the lines of wanting him to die, and that put haechan at ease a little—heavy emphasis on a little—for a moment. but that blissful moment didn’t last long, because he panicked at the question you asked him and came out with the first thing that sprang to mind.

“i’m fine, yeah, it’s just—what time does this place close in the morning? it’s completely slipped my mind, sorry. i think renjun said something about finally getting us all over to have brunch.”

renjun had not, in fact, said anything of the sort. the few times all five of them had been crowded into his small flat renjun had nearly had an aneurysm, and had sworn never to let them within five feet of his door again. still—what you didn’t know wouldn’t hurt you.

you started to open your mouth as if to say something, but then stopped and slowly pointed at a sign behind you. that very clearly said NIGHT SHIFT: 10PM — 6AM, with the chart of all of your shift schedules underneath it (which donghyuck’s name had been hastily added to the night before by gyuvin, while doyoung either drafted up another version with him included on it or moved him to another slot in the day. personally, he thought that the crudely-written DONGHYUCK in bright pink biro gave it a fun pop of colour, and had proudly sent a picture of it to the group chat afterwards. jiung said he hated it more than the guy that sat behind him in economics). suddenly haechan felt very stupid.

“oh. right. yeah.”

you waved him off, appearing completely unbothered, and turned back to your cup. after a few more moments of silence, you began to turn on your heel—presumably to escape to the back, or take your break, or maybe just run from hyuck in general—but before you could disappear donghyuck rushed to stop you.

“ah, yn, wait.”

you hesitantly turned fully to face him, draining the last of your drink in one go and giving him what he felt was your full attention. donghyuck shifted from one foot to the other as he tried to figure out the best way to just talk to you, like he’d been perfectly able to a year and two months ago.

he cast a conspiratorial glance over his shoulder, cautious of anyone listening in, but when he looked he only saw gyuvin and junhyeon standing either side of one of the tables, arguing over the correct way to stack chairs atop it while they cleaned the floor, and shota hunched over the counter with his head in his arms looking about two minutes from falling asleep. he assumed soobin was in the back, on break or something else of the like. heeseung and his duo of slightly-strange looking friends he had been accompanied by the night before were nowhere to be seen either, so hyuck figured he should say it now or not say it at all. 

“i just—wanted to say sorry.”

the look on your face morphed into one of confusion, an eyebrow raising slightly as you put down the now-empty to-go cup in your hands.

“for what?”

it was donghyuck’s turn to feel confused, mouth opening but any words that could’ve been there failing to come out for a moment until the feeling of your eyes staring straight into him jolted him into answering, the words all coming out in a rush.

“for the whole ghosting thing, you know? completely blanking you wasn’t cool, even if by then we’d stopped—yeah.”

he didn’t quite know what he was expecting from you in response, but a blank shrug and the expression on your face changing from its confusion to a plain not-quite-but-nearly complete disinterest in his apology was most definitely not it. you picked the cup back up and turned it over in your hands for something to do.

“it’s fine, hyuck, really. yeah, i hated it for a bit, but i’m over it now.”

he practically breathed a sigh of relief, the worry leaving his body. but still, he had to really make sure—“so we’re good, now, right?”

“we’re good.”

a smile flitted over your face after the affirmation, and he thought that then—just for a moment, at some stupid time in the morning (he’d never liked your night shifts), with the shitty led lights above you and compulsory uniform apron tied loosely around your waist—that you looked.. pretty. 

what?

the thought was so sudden it left him without words, shocked still for a few long moments behind the wooden counter while you mumbled something about needing more straws and then disappeared off to the back, leaving the plastic cup abandoned on the counter. pretty? you were obviously attractive—anyone with eyes could see that—but to have that thought out of the blue after a year and two months and a smile felt.. strange. 

and strange was the last thing donghyuck wanted right now. he still felt like he was partly reeling from the whole aliens conversation with shota the night before as it was, he didn’t need weird thoughts about your smile and your face and you in general to add into the mix. he shook his head hard to get rid himself of the thought and retrieved his phone from his pocket instead, seeing as the rest would probably want to know the good news.

he was right: not a minute after he’d sent the simple text ‘i fixed things with yn’ he was being spammed with celebratory messages from jake, all in capitals with too many exclamation marks to count. mark had also joined in on the fun, albeit with less capitals and exclamation marks. renjun only said it took you long enough, and jiung left them all on read. and so it goes.

hyuck stayed staring at the messages (or lack of, in jiung’s case) long after he’d replied, scrolling up and then down and then back up again, more times than he could count. i fixed things with yn. he read it until his eyes went blurry. he exited out of the group chat and found your contact again. ynnie. the profile picture, of you in his room. have fun. there were only a few walls between you now, compared to the thousands of miles that it had been little more than a couple weeks ago, but he still felt distant. like it was only a temporary fix, masking tape plastered over a knife to the chest.

i’m over it now. it felt true, and it looked it as well—but donghyuck didn’t feel any better.

he tried to ignore the steadily sinking feeling growing in his chest by shoving his phone back into his pocket, returning to the cloth he’d abandoned on the table and getting back to cleaning, rubbing harder than he necessarily needed to. over it. all was forgiven, even if it hadn’t really been forgotten. you were over it. that should’ve been the end of things.

except hyuck was now coming to the realisation that he wasn’t sure if he was over it. not half as much as he’d thought himself to be, anyway. maybe the distance had tricked him into thinking he was fine. but now he felt a lot like the rug had been pulled from underneath his feet, leaving him lost in unfamiliar territory, stumbling through the dark on unstable feet.

i’m over it now. it came to him then, at something-past-one in the morning—garfield clock ticking steadily on from its place on the wall, standing and gazing down listlessly at his own reflection in the dark wood table—that he didn’t want you to be.

(･o･;) 💣 ⠀ previous mlist next

JJ ₊ ⠀ HI!!!!! ngl this was fun.. still kinda ?? ab my writing but i still like it ^ ^ last update for a while bc i need to stock up on chapters lol. ty karma for reading this over ily and GNNN!!!

taglist ## @wave2love @so2uv @mins-fins @kimgyuuu @wtfhyuck (perm) &&& @deafeningtyrantmilkshake @kosmicbomb @222brainrot @haohyo @dinonuguaegi

[victorluvsalice]

Welcome back to the Chill Valicer Save, where we have reached Fall Friday! And the gang going out to yet another world to peddle their Van Liddelton Snacks. :) Let's see how that went for them –

-->Started with everyone where I’d left them on Saturday – Alice sleeping, Victor working on his new song, Smiler editing their latest SimsTube video (“Karaoke Til Spooky,” the singing video they were working on when they got interrupted by the house making weird noises), and Marm playing chess while his durability slowly degraded. I had Smiler finish their edits on the video (just had to add some fancy transitions), hype it up to their followers, then upload it, while I sent Marm out to feed Toothy the cowplant before anybody got any ideas about eating the cake tongue –

And then the game informed me “hey, pop-up holiday today, it’s Night On The Town” by flashing that little “there’s something new on the calendar” light on the, well, calendar. XD I made a mental note of that for later and sent Smiler down to meet Marm once Toothy was fed and give him a tune-up so he didn’t suffer any catastrophic explosions –

-->And then I looked over at the wind farm and was like “is every fucking turbine broken AGAIN?!” *shakehead* I promptly sent Smiler and Marm over to go repair them (as Victor was still busy with his song) – then remembered “oh wait, Marm’s ready to get an enhancement level – I should have Smiler make a mechanism so they can upgrade him” and sent Smiler to the robotics bench to do that instead while Marm kept repairing. Because hey, he does need to learn some skills, and Handiness is always a good one! I’d planned for him to get them all while I pushed Victor to complete his song –

But then, midway through Marm’s repair efforts, I realized that poor Victor really had to go to the bathroom. So I reluctantly stopped progress on his classical piece and let him use the toilet...then, since he was up already, had him cast Repairio on a handful of the turbines (and one busted water collector) to speed up the repair process once he was done washing his hands. Because I wanted that damn wind farm working again FASTER, damn it. (Seriously, why do the turbines break so often?? It’s annoying.)

-->Anyway – with all the water collectors and wind turbines back in functional condition, I had Victor go kick a creepy doll by the laundry nook, then prepared to have him start the laundry before heading into the greenhouse...but before I could, I noticed a few things. Namely, that the minifridge in the greenhouse was broken (thanks to the angry gnomes from Harvestfest); both fridges were stinking (thanks to the spoiled food within, as no one in this family has to eat often enough to take care of all the leftovers); AND that the back porch umbrella table was a scorched mess (thanks to a lightning strike I must have missed on Harvestfest). I thus had Victor Repairio the table and the minifridge, then clean the spoiled food out of the kitchen fridge before finally putting the laundry into the washer. With a bluebell to keep it floral fresh. Glad something is fresh in this house!

-->While all that was happening, Smiler finished up their mechanism, and Marm finished repairing the final turbines and scavenging all the trash piles for parts before sticking them in his inventory for later recycling. I thus had Smiler start properly enhancing Marm while Victor took a moment to Scruberoo the puddles in the greenhouse before going to rummage through the trash pile left behind by the gnomes. I myself took a moment to clear up the gnome population while he did that – moving one of the gnomes standing on a rock and the gnome sitting on a rock over to the corners of the greenhouse; sticking the ordinary gnome in the little wheelbarrow out front of the greenhouse; putting the reaper gnome and the alien gnome outside of Toothy’s pen; and just straight up selling the duplicate “standing on a rock” gnome and the two pool gnomes. So these little fuckers are all set until the next Harvestfest. :p

[secret-diary-of-an-fa]

Doctor Who: The Church on Ruby Road Review- A Nice Big Plate of WTF?

So… I have… questions? Many of them aren’t even things I can express in words- they’re just helpless looks of confusion happening in my head and a general, non-specific yearning for answers. I’m not saying I disliked The Church on Ruby Road. I’m not saying I liked it, either. I’m saying that it’s so bafflingly other that I’m not 100% sure how to process my feelings about it. Consequently, this is going to be quite a short review. I mean, when Wild Blue Yonder and The Giggle blew me away, I knew exactly what it was I was enjoying and why. When The Star Beast disappointed, I knew exactly why it disappointed me (it felt like a first draft). I don’t even know what emotions I experienced while watching The Church on Ruby Road or if those emotions even have names, so it’s kind of difficult to talk about.

Okay, let’s start with something easy. I like Ncuti Gatwa’s take on the Doctor. That’s something I’m certain about. He’s breezy and bright and- occasionally- a tiny bit bitchy. I think he’s going to be an interesting addition to the line-up. Also, I think it’s really cool and progressive that he’s the first Doctor… WITH A MOUSTACHE! So yeah, he’s a perfectly fine actor for the role. I could have done with a slightly stronger, more sure-footed introduction- something like Ecclestone’s “Run!” or David Tenant just straight up grabbing a Sycorax energy-whip by the business end and yanking it away… but I get that he’s meant to be the fun, easy-going Doctor and I accept that his intro has to suit the character, which means a gradual, laid-back sort of interweaving. So yes: nice work on establishing Fifteen, Ruby Road.

But then there’s the goblins in flying wooden boats. Doctor Who had goblins now, and that’s fine… but they’re never really explained. We’re told they can surf the waves of time, but we’re never told where they came from. Are they just on Earth all the time? Have they always been here? Are they from space? Another dimension? We’re just kind of asked to accept them and the fact that they regularly abduct and eat babies (yet this has somehow never come up before). I mean, I’m okay with goblins, but I’m not sure how I feel about inadequately-explained goblins in a sci-fi show. Doctor Who has every right to be extremely silly- it’s practically in the charter- but there’s a razor-thin line between ‘silly’ and ‘stupid’ and I’m not sure which side of the divide big-eyed mischievous goblins in flying boats fall on. Especially when they start singing.

Ah, yes. Maybe I should have led with that. The goblins sing. And I don’t mean unearthly, alien singing of the kind befitting their essentially inhuman nature, nor even the type of shanties that would match their outfits and flying, old-fashioned sailing ship. No, no. They sing a full-on, carefully-orchestrated and choreographed, extremely catchy pop song… about eating babies. It’s fucking mental. I mean, it’s obviously meant to be funny and it made me laugh… but I’m not sure I was laughing at the intended joke or if I was just having a breakdown in response to seeing something so fucking inexplicable. I mean, when the Celestial Toymaker interrupted The Giggle for a musical number, it made sense. The Toymaker was characterised in such a way that murdering people to music perfectly fitted his character- he’s bloody psychotic. But with the goblins it just comes completely out of left-field.

I thought the overarching themes of family being about more than blood and people forming intricate webs of connection that depend more on love than superficial genetic ties were pretty solid and universal. On the other hand, making new companion Ruby Sunday such an enmeshed part of an adopted family meant her personality didn’t get much chance to come through properly, despite her more-than-ample screen-time. She always felt like a part of something larger- particularly with the fairly extravagant and entertaining personalities of her other family members (one in particular).

I think what’s weird about this episode is that it’s meant to be the start of a soft-reboot with the potential to draw in new fans, yet if you’re not familiar with Doctor Who already, it presents a bit of misleading picture of what the show is. It centres mythic and magical creatures over the show’s more standard cosmic and alien fare or scientific-disaster-style stories, while previous events are referenced with little or no context. As a long-time Who fan (who even forced myself to watch the execrable Chibnall/Whitaker episodes necessary for an appreciation of the plot), I understood what was being alluded to and also knew to make allowances for this being a daft, knock-about Christmas episode that won’t be typical of the season to come. But new fans? They’re likely to be completely bloody lost.

All things considered, I quite liked The Church on Ruby Road- it’s a bit of fun and it’s a reasonably good palette cleanser after the heavier themes of the previous two specials. Plus, it’s just nice to see a new Doctor in action and know he’s going to be good in the role. Does it set out to do what it was meant to do, though (i.e. set out the stall for new Whovians and provide a real flavour of the show? Erm. No. And, however enjoyable it might be overall, its more confusing elements do make me worry about showrunner Russel T. Davies’ mental state. At least we only have to wait until spring to find out just how mad he’s gone.