#but i admire the ideas of the circle choreo more

[sanstropfremir]

best choreos of 2023!

not gonna lie, this year was a rough one for choreos. like with the actual music itself, this year was profoundly complacent and very few choreographies were truly inspired and willing to do something original. i was actually afraid for a bit that i was not even gonna be able to fill out a top ten list, much less having any runners' up. so here's a list of runners' up:

new dayz - trendz

spotlight - yunho

wormhole - n.ssign

neverland - nine.i

baggy jeans - nct u

koong - xikers

vuja de - yunho

bouncy - ateez

journey - woodz

and my favourites:

circle - onew

i have a bit of a love hate relationship with the circle choreo bc on one hand i LOVE it, the imagery and idea is beautiful i think it's one of the few choreos this year that actually embodies what the song and the cb were trying to say. but on the other hand, as a contemporary dance enjoyer it is.........let down by the fact that kpop is a predominantly hiphop based genre and the backup dancers are not up to snuff for this type of choreo. kaspar did a pretty good job choreographing it but hiphop and contemp/modern are notoriously hard styles to slide between for dancers, and i really think they should have actually got a modern choreographer and a modern troupe. it would have significantly upped the quality and given the stages that extra gut punch.

grl gvng - xg

honestly you really could sub in any xg choreo from this year here bc they were all stellar, but the commitment of grl gvng clinched it for me. the costuming, the makeup, the style of movement all tell such a clear story that i would have included it on my list regardless of what the album was, but the transition from hesonoo to xgene to grl gvng is fucking UNREAL. it's so refreshing to see a gg actually commit to a concept that isn't pretty bubbly straightness and to not compromise on it regardless of how much people bitch, right down to the choreo. there's something immensely satisfying about seeing a choreo about how these girls are alien cyborgs and have it actually LOOK like they are alien cyborgs, the intentional clunkiness and 'offputting' movements and all. i've been begging for an actual real concept like this for years and finally. finally it has been delivered.

chrome arts - onlyoneof

its not a choreo list by me if there isn't an ooo one, and once again they came right out of the gate at the beginning of the year with something batshit insane. the knee walk move is crazy. i love it 10/10.

killer - key

unlike a lot of the other entries on this list, i don't think killer has as concise of a concept other than "the 80s", but the great thing about it is that you absolutely can successfully pull off a more abstract concept if you do it well. this is such a strong choreo with good images and composition, plus a lot of 80s references in the moves themselves, and sometimes that's all you need if you put the right care into it. this is actually one of the few choreos that i've seen that correctly capture the feel of an mj choreo from the 80s, which seems to be a real challenge for a lot of idols. i will say that i think it would have made more sense to me if this had been a repack to bad love, bc it has the same vein of nostalgia vibes and a very similar feel in the shapes of the choreo, but really they're all part of his retro series so it's not a substantive complaint.

the rizzness - taemin

don't speak to me don't look at me i'm literally never recovering from this in my entire life. i cannot fucking believe he made me say with full conviction that ""the rizzness"" is one of the best taemin bsides but also of fucking course he did. this is black rose but eviler (complimentary). it's so interesting to see how versatile taemin's style is and where his true strengths lie. obviously his title track choreos are perfectly tailored to his body and his abilities and they are all unreal choreos on their own. but there's something about the way that he carries himself when he does more hiphop based choreo that has such a natural power to it. it's so clear that this is the style that he started learning dance in and especially now that he's become much more settled in his body since he got back from the military, it's so obvious how much love he has for this song and this way of movement that i don't think any of his title tracks will stack up in the same to it in my eyes.

don't call me - dkz nine to six

insane. insane insane insane. i love everything about this. it's weird its creative it had very clear imagery that supports the song, it says fuck capitalism, what more could you possibly want. honestly one of the best choreos of the last couple years. i'm also gonna include nod here too bc it was the bside they promoted and it has crazy choreo also, and highly recommend ppl listen to digital love, the other bside. very strong release from dkz this year despite all the shit they went through.

--

here's hoping 2024 is better!

[sluttyminghao]

mirror mirror on the wall | k.sy

w.c: 1.6k genre: super super smutty warnings: uhhh impreg kink, rough sex if ur not into that, sex in the practice room hehe a/n: omg im back! its taken me a long time between my personal life and writers block to come back, but this was highly requested! I hope you enjoy! (especially the anons who i talked to abt it :)) also this is unedited and also the first piece I've written in a Long Time so please give me criticisms if needed!

pairing: kwon soonyoung x female reader

synopsis: you fucked up. big time. now soonyoung is punishing you for it

“You really fucked up this time sweetheart.”

He was walking steadily towards you like an animal stalking its prey; his eyes holding a dark gleam which you could only put down to anger, or maybe lust. As he got closer his smirk grew wider, his steps getting quicker and effectively trapping you between himself and the wall.

You knew you had fucked up. Big time.

Maybe it was the one too many lustful glances you sent his way, maybe you thought he would enjoy it while you were watching him as he tried to perfect a new choreo he had been steadily working on. Maybe it was the outfit you had chosen to wear; a shirt that was too tight and shorts that barely covered your ass.

Maybe, just maybe, it was the fact that you had whispered to him that you weren't wearing any underwear when he briefly stopped for a water breakk, which lead you to where you were now, pressed up against the mirror in the dance practice room.

Do you regret any of the stunts you pulled which put you in this position? Absolutely not.

Are you scared to see what soonyoung has planned with the way he’s trapped you? A little.

“So...do you wanna explain what your thought process was when you thought it would be a good idea to not wear underwear to my dance practice?”

His cool hands were tracing your upper body, his lips now attached to your neck and sucking lightly. A slight warmth was beginning to spread throughout your lower body, which only increased as he bit down on your neck. You could hardly move with the pleasure that was coursing through your body, and he had hardly even started his ministrations on you.

“I-I thought it would be fun...” you managed to stutter out, exhaling loudly as soonyoung bit down on your neck again, running his hands under your shirt and letting his fingertips dance on the skin of your stomach. He chuckled lowly at your response, pulling off your neck to stare deeply into your eyes.

“You thought it would be fun? This is your idea of fun? Well, let me show you what my idea of fun is sweetheart”

Before you could even process what he had said, his hands were hurriedly pulling off your shirt and tossing it to the side, hands immediately going back to cup your breasts and kneading them softly.

A soft moan left your lips as soonyoung flung your bra off and tossed it somewhere, his lips now attacking and sucking your nipples. He’d smirk and dip a hand down your shorts, feeling how aroused you had become in such a short amount of time.

“Already this wet for me? Goes to show how much you want me and my cock huh? Want me to fill you up hm? Get you all nice and full with my cum and get you pregnant?”

The words had taken you by surprise; this was a whole new concept for you, as soonyoung had never even talked about getting you pregnant. You were not totally opposed to the idea; he chuckled when he felt your clit pulsate at the thought, knowing you would love the idea.

“Ah I see you like the idea of me filling you with my cum and getting you pregnant hm sweetheart?” He all but ripped your shorts off of you and quickly shoved two fingers into your pussy, making your back arch and a loud moan coming from you.

The way you were feeling was bordering on euphoric; stars and patterns were slowly dancing their way across your eyelids, moans and gasps escaping your mouth as he slowly added another finger, loving the way your walls were pulsing around his fingers.

Soonyoung was growing incredibly impatient, and that wasn't the only thing that was growing. His erection was straining painfully hard against his pants, to the point where it was getting painful and needed to remove the barrier that was slowing him down from fucking you senseless.

He discarded his pants while still finger fucking you, and soon had you facing the practice room mirror, on all fours. He was on his knees behind you, admiring the way your pussy was soaked and all for him, and the way your back arched when he rubbed your clit in quick, rough circles.

“Are you ready to be filled with my cum sweetheart? Let me fill up your womb with my cum and let you have my babies?” The words were sending your mind whirling, your back arching and a loud whine leaving your lips.

“Please soonyoung,,,” you practically begged, wiggling your hips a little to show how desperate you were for his cock. His hand came up and swiftly fell on your ass, leaving a stinging sensation on your ass and you wanting more. He rubbed his cool hand over the expanse he had just turned pink and soothing it as you winced at the slightly painful sensation.

“You want my cock princess? Beg for it, show me how much you want it, look me in the eyes and tell me how much you want me.”

His eyes were practically black with lust as he locked eyes with you in the mirror, smoothing his hands over your ass again as he waited for you to respond to him. Seeing how fucked out you were for him already made his cock ever harder, if that was even possible.

“Please soonyoung! I need your cock so bad, i want you to fill me up with your cum and have your babies!!”

He was slamming into you just as you finished your sentence, not letting you adjust to him before he was thrusting into you quickly. His grip on your hips tightening as he groaned loudly, feeling how warm and tight you were around him.

“Fuck princess, you’re so fucking tight for me, I can’t wait to fill you with my cum and get to see your swollen belly”, before pressing a kiss to your spine and thrusting even harder, watching how you squirmed under his grip and how loudly you were moaning.

“Feels-feels so good Soonyoung!!” you all but screamed out as he hit your g-spot, now spending all his time and effort into hitting the one spot that made you see stars. 

Every thrust he made into your pussy he made a remark about impregnanting you; how much he wants to see you with a swollen belly, how bad he wants to fill you up with his cum and how much he needs to see you with his babies.

The pleasure was starting to build in your lower abdomen, and was causing your knees to buckle and you could hardly keep yourself upright. Just as you started to slip on the floorboards, Soonyoung pulled your hair and forced you up, keeping a tight grip on your hair and you were now flush with his bare chest.

“I want you to look at yourself in the mirror princess, i want you to watch me fuck your tight pussy”

You struggled to keep your eyes open at soonyoung’s demand, finally opening them to see how fucked out you both were, but mainly taking in soonyoung’s current appearance; his dark hair clinging to his forehead, eyes still black with lust and him biting his lower lip as he watched his cock slide in and out of your pussy.

“Soonyoung, I’m so close!! I’m gonna cum!!” the heat in your abdomen was growing even quicker than before, your orgasm threatening to wash over you. He moved his grip back to your hips and thrust even quicker, feeling his orgasm impending also, and with your pussy clenching around his cock the way it was, he wouldn't last much longer.

“Cum for me sweetheart, cum all over my cock” as his hand reached around to rub your clit in circles once more, feeling the best orgasm of your life wash over you as you screamed out his name. 

Soonyoung wasn't far behind you, cumming into your pulsating pussy with a loud groan. He could feel his cum shooting into you, and he reveled in the feeling. Leaning down onto your back with a slight groan, he softly kissed down your spine to your neck.

“Can you feel all my cum sweetheart? Filling you up so that you can have my babies?” which left you whining under his touch. He slowly pulled out of you, a small hiss leaving your lips. As he pulled out, he could see some of his cum dripping from your pussy.

He swiped a finger over your sensitive folds, collecting some of the leftover cum, and leaving you shivering as he held the finger to your lips, which you sucked up happily and left him groaning again.

Immediately he would get up and go to grab you some water and some tissues to clean up, while you try to process everything that had happened in such a short span of time. He would be looking at you playfully now, his once black eyes now returning to their beautiful brown.

“I’m sorry if I was rough with you sweetheart” he said as he slowly wiped up your messes as you took a sip of water from the bottle. You just looked at him and smiled, before capturing his lips into a kiss.

“You know that you’re never too rough with me Soonie~” using his favourite nickname. “But just so you know, I would love to have your babies” and giggling at his face.

His face whipped up to meet yours, mouth opened in an O shape and a blush spreading across his puffy cheeks. He wouldn't even know what to say to that, so he tells you in the only way he can express at the current minute.

He pulls you in for a big kiss and picks you up to leave the dance practice room, all the while peppering you with kisses and leaving you giggling.

[itsallyscorner]

I'm loving your little mix works so much I wanted to request something if you're not too busy idk if you've seen the interview where perrie says that alex went to rehearsals with her because she couldn't get choreographies right and he would help her well what if tom did the same for reader??? and Jesy is soft for them but she won't admit it

Hi lovey! Thank you so much for the request! I added a little twist to it, but it’s still the same concept you wanted. AND YES, JESY LOVES THEM TOGETHER SHE JUST DOESN’T WANT TO ADMIT IT. I hope you like it, happy reading!💜✨

💌.

Patience

I hope you enjoy this! I honestly had so much fun rewatching Break Up Song over and over again to get the little dance they do in the chorus, it’s stuck in my head lol. That’s basically the dance the reader is trying to do, if you want to see the dance it’s somewhere towards the end of the Break Up Song video!

You watched the video your choreographer sent to you and the girls. You watched it over and over again, taking a moment to study the moves before getting up from the bed and doing them yourself. The video was a little dance Kayleigh, your choreographer, created for the Break Up Song music video. Since the pandemic was still in full affect and everyone was still on lockdown, shooting a music video at a studio was an absolute no go. As much as it sadden you and the girls that you couldn’t film your original vision for the video, your health and the crew’s health meant the most to all of you at the moment. Instead of not filming a music video at all, you and the girls have decided that it would be fun to shoot the video on your own at your own homes.

Which brings you to today. You were in your room, that you shared with Tom, trying to learn the choreography. Honestly, it wasn’t that hard of a dance, it was quite simple. The video Kayleigh sent you all was probably less than a minute. The dance was supposed to be done during the chorus, the rest of the song would be freestyle or clips of you all doing some nonsense for fun.

Your brows furrowed together, eyes glaring at your phone screen while you tried to figure out how to sway your arms and circle them to make them cross. Like Perrie, it took you a while to learn choreography. Unlike the other three, you and Perrie took extra time studying the dancers and had extra sessions at the studio to get the choreography down. Though it was sometimes frustrating, the end result was always worth it.

You cursed to yourself as the video ended for the twentieth time. You tried repeating the steps, watching yourself in the mirror, but it just wasn’t coming out right. You felt your body growing hot as you became upset at yourself for not understanding a few simple steps. You thought learning through a video would be easier, but no, it’s more difficult for you. There was no guidance from Kayleigh, she wasn’t there to tell you what you were doing wrong or what you were doing right. You just felt lost and confused.

Groaning, you snatch your phone from the table and throw yourself onto your bed. You take Tom’s pillow, hugging it as you lay on your stomach. You shove your face into his pillow, the smell of him with a mix of his shampoo bringing you some kind of solace from your frustration.

(Y/n)🌺: Girls, do we really need to have a dance in the video?

Perrie🦋: Yeah I agree. Do we REALLY need one?

Jesy💖: Don’t tell me you guys can’t get that?

Do you not get it?

Leigh-Anne😻: Huns, it’s like learning a TikTok dance

Jade💜: It’s so easy! Girls, it’s like 30 secs of the video. We always have a dance choreo in our videos!

(Y/n)🌺: But we’re bad at dancing🥺

Perrie🦋: You all know how hard it is for me and (y/n) to pick up choreography:(

Jesy💖: (y/n), isn’t Tom a dancer?

(Y/n)🌺: He used to do ballet and he was in Billy Elliot, he won’t shut up about it.

Why?

Jesy💖: Ask twinkle toes to help you, he might be able to teach you.

If he can teach you how to spoil things, he can teach you how to dance👌🏽

Jade💜: ^^^ she’s got a point

Leigh-Anne😻: Omg Tom did ballet?

Jesy💖: Lmao what a loser

(Y/n)🌺: That’s actually a good idea, I’ll go bother him rn:))

Perrie🦋: Right I’m glad (y/n) has a way to learn the dance but what about me? I live with a football player🙁

Turning your phone off, you hop out of bed and skip your way out of the bedroom. You walk around the house looking for Tom, but instead bump into Harrison and Tuwaine.

“Boys, where’s Thomas?” You ask them, stealing one of the chips Harrison was eating. With a playful glare, he softly smacks your hand. You cheekily grin at him as you eat the chip.

“He’s outside with Harry, they’re cleaning the patio.” Tuwaine answers. Harrison snorts, “And doing a shit job at it.” You quickly thank them and pull on the glass sliding doors to get to the backyard. You see Harry with one of those power hoses spraying dirt off the concrete as Tom stood to the side filming him. You wait for him to end his video before coming up behind him and wrapping your arms around his torso.

“I thought you were supposed to be cleaning with Harry?” You ask him, earning Harry’s attention.

“You know what (y/n), that’s exactly what I said!” Harry answered sarcasticly, spraying the hose dangerously close to Tom’s feet. Your boyfriend yelps, turning around to scoop you in his arms and move you both away from Harry and the hose.

“You dick!” He hissed at his brother. Harry chuckles satisfied at riling up his brother. He turns around and returns to his task at hand.

Tom puts you down on your feet though his hands remain at your hips. You look up at him, admiring the way his eyes and hair give off a sweet honey color in the sun.

“What’s up bub? Have you got the dance down yet?” He asks, thumbs rubbing circles onto your hips. Your face contorts together, nose scrunched up in irritation at the mention of the dance. Tom notices your change in expression and pouts at you.

“I’m gonna take that as a no?” You sigh, leaning into his chest and rest your head on his shoulder. Picking up on your exasperation, he pulls you in closer and places his palm on your back rubbing soothing circles onto it.

“I don’t know why I can’t just get it. It’s so bloody simple and I just can’t do it. Why am I like this?” You ramble, beating your head against his shoulder with every word. Tom makes a sound of disagreement as he gently pulls you away from his shoulder.

Before he can speak he presses multiple kisses onto your forehead making you giggle, “There’s nothing wrong with you, darling. It just takes you a little bit longer to properly learn choreography, there’s nothing wrong with that! You’re an excellent dancer in my eyes.”

You fondly roll your eyes at him, always one for the sweet talk, “You’re only saying that because you’re my boyfriend.”

“No, I’ve seen you dance before (y/n), you’re actually good.” His eyes quickly rake over your body, “But as your boyfriend, I think you look extremely hot when you dance. Especially in those little costumes you wear during tour.”

You wrap your arms around his neck, placing a light kiss on his lips. “Hmmm, ok. Well, then as my boyfriend, will you help me learn the dance?” You try to soften him up with some puppy eyes and a smile that made the corner of your lips squish up to your cheeks.

Without any hesitation, he agrees, not thinking of how difficult it would be to actually teach you the dance.

~⏰~

Hours pass and Tom was slowly losing his shit. He loves you, absolutely adores you, like nothing in the world will ever make him stop loving you. But trying to teach you simple choreography was making him loose his mind.

Tom stares blankly at the floor, sitting on the bed with his head in his hands. You stood a few feet away from him, cringing to yourself as you watched your boyfriend regain his patience with you.

“I love you.” You squeaked out sinking into your shoulders. Tom sighs and takes his head out his hands to look at you tiredly. He drags himself off the bed and stands in front of you. He cups your face in his hand, squishing it gently and playfully growls at you.

“Darling, I love you too.” He affirms with a fond smile. He lets out a breath before resting his forehead onto yours, “I just—why can’t you get it? I don’t understand.”

You pout at him and huff, “It’s not that easy, it’s really hard!” You and him had been practicing for a while now. For the first few minutes, Tom watched the video a number of times until he finally got the steps memorized. Then he took an hour of breaking down each step for you while you stood beside him repeating his moves. When he asked you to do it all together, all the steps you’ve rehearsed went out the window. Which lead to Tom breaking down the steps for you once again and so on.

“Baby, I did everything I can. I’ve done it really slow and explained each step to you.” He reasoned. “I don’t know what else to do.”

“But it’s hard Tommy!” You defended yourself, almost on the verge of crying because you still couldn’t comprehend the steps. Though you were probably overreacting, your whole day had been full of frustration; you were tired and mad at yourself for not understanding something so simple and now it was all coming together to make you explode.

“(Y/n), it’s like only ten to nine steps, you could do it.” Tom tried to encourage you. You groaned and pull yourself away from him. You plop yourself down to the bed, face smushed right into the pillows.

“I’m hopeless.” You said into the pillow, though it might have came out muffled for Tom. Tom frowned at your figure on the bed. He was upset at two things. One, he hated seeing you so frustrated with yourself. He just wanted to wrap you up in hugs and tell you that he was proud of you for trying your best. Two, he was mad at himself for kind of loosing his temper with you. You asked him for help and he did do that but he could have been a bit more patient. He knew you weren’t that good with rehearsing choreography so he should have expected the process to take a little bit slower.

“(Y/n), it’s swing, swing, round, swing, what’s so hard to understand?” Tom swung his arms like how Kayleigh did in the video, though his motions were quite harsh and sharp.

“I don’t know! I can’t swing my arms properly.” You complained, repeating his steps, your arms moving loosely.

“It’s just swinging your arms! There’s nothing hard about swinging your arms!” He exploded, throwing his arms in the air. An almost crazed look was in his eyes as he gripped onto the roots of his hair. Squeezing his eyes shut he took a breath in, “I need a break.”

Guilt filled him as he heard a sniff come from the pillow. Tom was immediately by your side trying to get you to look at him. “Darling, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have yelled.”

He sees you move your face so he can hear you properly, “No, it’s okay, you were just expressing how you feel. It’s my fault I can’t comprehend simple choreograph.”

Tom sighs, shifting so he’s laying against you, head resting on the same pillow as yours while he waits for you to look at him again. One hand supports his head and the other rubs circles onto your back. He feels you relax under his touch making him pull you closer because he felt like you needed the comfort. You were trying your best, he knew you were. In fact, he even saw you getting some of the steps correct, you just instantly doubted yourself.

“No, I should’ve remembered that it takes a few times for you to memorize choreography. I should’ve been more patient.” He began. “And you came to me for help and I did nothing but make you even more upset, I’m sorry.” He apologized. Your head rises from the pillow, Tom softly chuckles at the strands of hair that covered your face.

“Don’t say that, you did a great job at helping me, I’m just—stupid.” You shrug nonchalantly. Tom rolls his eyes, brushing the strands of hair that covered your face behind your ear. “Now that’s stupid, you’re one of the smartest girls I know.”

You snort shoving his hand away from you, “You said I was an excellent dancer and look at where that got us.”

“You are an excellent dancer, love. You just doubt yourself.” He gets up from the bed and holds his hand out for you. “Let’s try again?”

You glance at him then at his hand before finally giving in. You grasp his hand, using it as leverage to help yourself off the bed. Tom smiles proudly at you, pressing a sweet kiss to your lips, “That’s my girl.”

~⏰~

Since standing beside each other was not doing the trick, Tom decided that he would try standing behind you. With your back against his chest, he outstretched his hands to hold onto your arms and guide them.

“Right, so we’re swinging this way, that way, then we go around and swing again.” Tom explained as he puppets your arms in those directions. You stare at yourself in the mirror and repeat Tom’s words to yourself. Tom glances at you from your shoulder, where his chin rested, seeing the gears shifting in your brain.

“Ok, we swing twice, then go around once, and swing again.”

Tom hums at you in response, “Yeah, you’ve got that part down.” He takes your left arm and brings it to your right shoulder, then your right arm to your left shoulder.

“After the swing we go chest, chest, so that it makes an x.” Tom continues to explain. You nod along, making mental notes to yourself. Suddenly, you jump, taking Tom by surprise.

“What happened?”

“I know the next move!” You beamed, shaking your arms from his grip and forming a heart with them. “After the X, we make a heart, and then it’s that shimmy thing.”

The grin on Tom’s face made the corners of his eyes crinkle and made his pearly whites twinkle at you, “Yeah, that’s right! Can you show me the stuff we’ve rehearsed so far?”

You purse your lips at yourself in the mirror, going over the mental notes you took in your head. The opening steps involved a little skipping in place while you punched the air three times; two punches on the left and one on the right. Then that would lead into the swinging, then the chests that make an X, the heart and shimmy.

“You remember darling, don’t doubt yourself.” He motivates you.

You jump around your spot and shake your limbs out, “Alright, I think I’m good.”

“Go for it, love.” Tom nods at you as he stands to the side with his hands on his hips, almost like a dance instructor or some teacher.

“I’m gonna sing the lyrics out, it helps.” You comment. Tom waves you off, “Whatever makes you comfortable.”

“So it’s—so tonight I’ll sing another,” You skip and do the punches.

“Another break up song,” You transition into the arm’s choreography, swinging them and going around once. You jump so your legs are together and do the X with your arms over you chest. You make the heart and do the shimmies, squealing excitedly when you finally get all the steps done correctly.

“I DID IT!” You happily yell jumping into Tom’s arms. He catches you right on time with just as much cheerfulness as you.

“I KNOW, I’M SO PROUD OF YOU!” He cheers making you both jump in celebration. You hug him tightly, continuously thanking him. Without Tom, you probably would’ve never learned the dance properly and would have given up the moment you felt like it. But thankfully, you had a loving boyfriend who never gave up on you. No matter how much you drove him mad.

“Seriously Tom, thank you for helping me. You didn’t have to, but I really appreciate it.” You tell him once he places you back on the ground.

“It’s no trouble, especially for you, I’d do anything for you.” He grins pecking your lips. You hum against his soft lips pulling him back in to meet yours again.

“Let’s just hope I can still remember this till tomorrow.” 

Tom chuckles against your lips, “Darling we aren’t even done yet, that was just the first bit.” You pull away from him, mouth agape, “Wait there’s more?”

[twokinkybeans]

Stark On Ice: Starker Figure Skating AU Chapter 1

Summary: Six months ago, the broadcasters asked Tony to participate in Celebrity Spin-Off; an annual TV series where celebrities get paired up with a professional figure skater and compete against each other. Well, he’d laughed in their faces, wondering why they’d even ask. Were they really that stupid? He had better things to do. “If you can find me a male skater who lets me lead, I’m in,” he’d scoffed sarcastically to brush them off.

He didn't expect them to take his answer seriously.

Masterpost (to be posted) Find On AO3

---

Chapter One: Let Me Entertain You Tony readjusts his jacket as he walks into the large building that is the Midtown Ice Arena. It’s a few minutes before 7 AM, and he already downed a triple espresso on his way here - amusedly ignoring Happy’s complaints about it being so damn early. He will give the man a raise soon. Tony can’t say he’s a morning person, but having to get up this early every single day for three months in a row helps to get used to it. Today is different, though. He feels jittery and on-edge just thinking about today’s events. It’s the final rehearsal. Tonight he’s going to skate in front of the entirety of the States. He knows many people won’t even bother to watch the TV series, but the idea has him slightly nauseous anyway. His first live show…

Live show.

Tony chuckles sarcastically at himself as he sits down on one of the benches in the changing room. Live show. Six months ago, the broadcasters asked him to participate in Celebrity Spin-Off; an annual TV series where celebrities get paired up with a professional figure skater and compete against each other. Well, he’d laughed in their faces, wondering why they’d even ask. Were they really that stupid? He had better things to do. “If you can find me a male skater who lets me lead, I’m in,” he’d scoffed sarcastically to brush them off. 

He’s still not sure why they took his answer seriously, but they had. Tony Stark doesn’t back out of a promise, though. So, here he is, lacing up his skates after three months of intensive training, ready to work through his choreo together with his assigned partner Peter Parker. From what Tony’s heard, Peter is a pretty big deal in the skating world. He’s a sweet, enthusiastic 21-year-old who has enough talent and skill in pair skating to participate in the Olympics, yet he’d chosen not to. Instead, he tours across the US with Stars On Ice, coaches young kids at Midtown, and has a YouTube channel where he and his partner MJ post routines with traditional gender roles reversed.  Tony admires Peter’s passion. The man doesn’t like other people very fast, but Peter was something else entirely. He’s endearing in a way. It’s easy to like him. Which, thank god, is a positive thing. They’ve had to train together for a minimum of eighteen hours for the past three months - both on ice and off. Tony had been surprised to see that the theory classes and off-rink practice were just as important.

When Tony finishes lacing up his skates he walks towards the rink, finally knowing how to do that without looking like a waddling duck. A smile creeps onto his face when he spots his partner on the ice already. The boy moves around ever so graciously, practicing his triple axel. A few days prior, Peter told him he hadn’t done it in a while, and he and MJ intend to use it in their new YouTube tutorial, so he’s been wanting to perfect his landing. It’s not like he pops it, but the boy isn’t content very easily. Tony enjoys watching him rehearse no matter how he lands. He’s so beautiful out there. Like he was born to skate. After landing perfectly three times, Peter slows down to give himself a short break, and that’s when he spots Tony at the entrance. The man waves awkwardly and Peter grins. “Mornin’, grumpy-head!” Peter laughs as he skates towards him.  “Well, look at you. Always a beaming ray of sunshine, aren’t ya?” “You know me too well, Mr. Stark. Hope you didn’t forget to apply your sunscreen today!” Peter jokes, jumping off the ice to give Tony a short hug. Tony hates to admit he likes that Peter greets him like that every single day. The boy isn’t scared of him, unlike most other people. Another reason why Tony likes him. He grunts as a response to the joke and nudges Peter. “Think it’s time to start training. Steve here yet?” Tony asks, looking around to see if he spots their coach. Peter shakes his head. “No, his car broke down a few blocks from Midtown, he’ll be here soon enough. Let’s start warming up so we can dive right into the sequence when he gets here.” “Yes, coach.”

-

“Why- Why do these outfits have to be so glittery,” Tony jests as he eyes himself in the mirror. He’s wearing a tight and stretchy black button-up with thick, gold seams and shiny gold beads all over it. Thank god his pants are a simple plain black. Peter is adjusting his hair right next to him. The metallic gold tee hugs the boy’s skin so incredibly tight that Tony can’t help his gaze from wandering down a little, peeking at the boy’s gorgeous abs. Peter grins as he follows Tony’s gaze. “Well, I guess that’s why,” Peter retorts, and Tony blushes. He sniffs, staring at his own reflection again. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.” “Says the man who asked for a male partner. I still don’t-” “Oh shush,” Tony cuts him off playfully and waves his hand in the air. Peter simply chuckles and finishes styling his curls. They’re silent for a moment and Tony’s thoughts wander. He hadn’t meant to stare like that. Yes, he was bisexual but that doesn’t mean he liked Peter like that. They were already making headlines on entertainment websites. He can’t even imagine what’d happen if they’d actually feel something for each other. That’d be insane and highly unprofessional. The kid is too young, and- No. Tony doesn’t even have to make excuses for himself. Peter is nice. That’s it. 

Thinking about them making the news doesn’t exactly settle his nerves. People are interested in them. Tony Stark on skates must be high-end entertainment for many people in itself, but the fact that they’re a male couple… He knows the public’s eye is on them tonight. “So tell me, kid. How does one contain nerves for a show, uh?” Tony asks, trying to keep it casual but failing massively. A gentle smile tugs on Peter’s lips. “Experience. Trusting yourself,” he starts. “You know, Tony. You won’t be flawless tonight. But that’s okay, remember? No one will be. Flawless is not what we aim for. Chemistry. Engaging the public, and-” “-just having fun on the ice,” Tony finishes for him with a nod. Peter has told him this many times before, but the reminder does settle his nerves. Tony’s a beginner, but he’s got the name and his charm. And Peter... They’ve got a pretty good shot. “Exactly. Now, tell me- what are you most nervous about?” “Honestly?” “Well, yes.” “Dropping you.” Peter sighs and takes a step closer to Tony.  “You won’t. You’ve only dropped me once, and I wasn’t even hurt. Even if it were to happen, I know how to take a fall. We’ll be alright. You’re one of the best skaters in this competition. You’re gonna ace this.” “Thank you, Pete. Hey, for what it counts, I’m glad you’re my skating partner.” “And I’m glad you’re mine.”

-

Tony’s throat is dry, his heart beating rapidly in his chest when his fingers tangle into Peter’s. The boy is so close to him, just like during practice. It grounds him. The floor manager smiles at them. “Good luck out there, you ready for it?” Tony nods, his lips pressed together in a thin line. Smile. He should smile. Peter squeezes his hands once and Tony takes a deep breath. He’s got this. They’ve got this. The floor manager signals, “-Standing by…” Oh, God. This is it. Tony sniffs. His hands feel sweaty, his stomach knots together once more. As much as he appears to be comfortable in public, the moment right before always has him on edge. Any moment now. His gaze focused on the floor manager. Waiting for her cue.  “And go!”

Tony forces his most charming smile on his face when he skates forward in unison with Peter, the cheers of the audience enveloping him. They stop in the center of the rink and he guides Peter in front of him. The boy’s arms are crossed in front of his chest. Tony puts a hand on Peter’s right shoulder. It’s quiet for a second, but then the familiar tune starts playing and Tony licks his lips. Peter smirks, pushing his skates into the ice to circle around the man, Tony’s gaze tracking him until he’s in front once again.

Hell is gone and heaven’s here There’s nothing left for you to fear Shake your arse come over here Now scream 

Peter twirls and presses into Tony’s side. They grin at each other and skate forward, towards the edge of the rink. Tony’s nerves finally settle when he focuses on just how smooth Peter glides over the ice. The loud music cuts off the sounds of their blades crushing the frozen surface beneath them, but Tony hears it in his mind instead. He knows exactly where to turn, where to move. Peter sends him a little nod right before they go into the crossovers. Tony doesn’t like crossovers all that much, it makes him feel stiff and uncoordinated. Yet, somehow his body seems to do it on autopilot today, simply mimicking Peter’s lead. 

I’m a burning effigy Of everything I used to be You’re my rock of empathy, my dear

Tony feels powerful in a way, his movements loosening up with every passing second. It’s time for their waltz jump. He turns around to transition into backward crosscuts and then shifts his weight from the right outer edge to the left one, throwing his right leg up in front. He gasps when he feels how smoothly he lifts off the ice. He’s flying through the air, weightless, and a quick glance confirms that Peter is too. When his right foot hits the ice again, he bends his right knee and extends his left leg behind him. The applause envelopes him like a warm blanket and the adrenaline coursing through his veins is an exhilarating sensation. He did it. He did it!

So come on let me entertain you Let me entertain you Let me entertain you

Tony turns around again to find Peter skating in his direction with a proud and goofy grin on his face. Tony’s heart leaps out of his chest when he realizes his partner is just as impressed as he is. Their hands find each other as they increase their speed to make it through another set of crossovers. Tony doesn’t even worry about them anymore at this point. Everything is just fucking amazing. 

Let me entertain you Let me entertain you (let me entertain you) So come on let me entertain you (let me entertain you) Let me entertain you (let me entertain you)

Tony takes a deep breath when he realizes it’s time for their lift. He sets off for his continuous three turns and feels how Peter starts leaning into him. The man prepares for the boy to jump up from the ice gracefully. When Peter does so, he easily catches him and they spin into their rotational lift. Tony loves this one - loves to have Peter in his arms bridal style while spinning around and around and around while remembering his words. Don’t be afraid of the speed. Stalling is falling. Tony doesn’t feel like they’re falling. No, it feels like they’re floating, setting off for space.

Come on come on come on come on Come on come on come on come on Come on come on come on come on

Peter moves slightly, indicating it’s time for Tony to help him back down again. They transition into forward strokes toward the center once more and slow down. Their arms are spread wide proudly. Peter then circles Tony just like he did in the beginning, leaning into Tony’s side when the music comes to an end. He can’t help wrapping an arm around him to pull him in closer, bathing in the applause and the cheers that are thrown their way. Oh my god. They pulled it off. He can’t believe they did it. Of course, he doesn’t have Peter’s finesse but fuck. As Peter would say, they aced it. Together. 

---

Next Chapter: To Be Posted

[kerikaaria]

If I Never Met You: Chapter 7

(??? X Reader) Idol!AU, Manager!Reader

Genre: (PG13) Fluff(?) 

WC: 2.7k

Warnings: None

Series Masterlist

Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8

I left my acting lesson, about half an hour after it was scheduled to end. These lessons always went past their scheduled time. I didn’t know if I was just an incompetent student, or if the coach was just really bad at keeping and managing time, and I was still trying to figure out what the point of me taking these lessons was.

It had been about 2 months since I started working here, and I’ve just about fully gotten used to balancing everything. Although I did have to admit my grades were suffering a bit from spending more time with the boys in my free time than working on my schoolwork. But I didn’t care all that much at this point. I was putting all the effort I could into training and working here, hoping that I could do well enough to convince Bang PD-nim I should stay.

I made my way to Sejin oppa’s office, passing by the dance studio on the way, where I could see Hoseok helping Seokjin with their current routine. Hoseok was easily the dance “leader” of the group, and Seokjin tended to struggle more than the others with the choreos. But he still worked really hard to keep up, and the others helped him as much as they could. I admired both his determination, and the whole group’s care to make sure the seven of them stuck together.

Sejin oppa looked up from a paper on his desk when I opened his door. “Lesson’s finally over?”

“Sorry it took so long, oppa.” I slightly bowed my head.

“No worries, I’ve come to expect that with the acting coach. It’s not just you he keeps longer than the scheduled time.”

I was somehow relieved to hear that. “So, did they come up with some ideas?” I asked, pointing to the paper he was reading. We had been waiting for a creative team in the company to come up with ideas for what the group’s name would be. Bang PD-nim already knew he wanted them to have a hip-hop genre style, with more outspoken lyrics so there wasn’t a question about that. But their full image hadn’t been decided upon yet.

“Actually, they did. PD-nim gave me just one name, so I guess this is what he’s going with. I was waiting for you so we can gather the boys and talk about it together.”

I felt excited as I nodded and walked out of the room with him. It may seem small, but this one step would be such an important one for them in their journey.

It didn’t take long to get everyone together, and we gathered in the dance studio. It was the biggest room, and therefore the easiest to fit 9 bodies without being crowded.

“So, I spoke with Bang PD-nim today,” Sejin oppa started, “and it looks like he’s decided on a name for your group.”

The boys’ faces lit up in excitement.

“(Y/n), why don’t you tell them what it is?” Sejin handed the folded piece of paper he brought with him to me.

“Oh, okay!” I looked at the boys. “I haven’t seen what it is yet either. Why do I feel so nervous?” I chuckled.

“Just tell us, noona!” an impatient Taehyung said from his spot on the floor. He couldn’t stop fidgeting.

“Okay, okay.” I unfolded the paper. “Bangtan Sonyeondan, or BTS for short.” I tilted my head at the curious name on the paper. The English translation for the name is Bulletproof Boys, and Bulletproof Boy Scouts was written down for the English variant. I thought it sounded a bit peculiar, but it was definitely unique and made more sense than the names of some of the other groups I’ve heard of.

“I don’t know what I was expecting, but I feel like that wasn’t it,” Seokjin said.

“It’s different…” Yoongi chimed in.

Sejin pointed to a paragraph written on the paper underneath the name to bring it to my attention.

“Oh, there’s an explanation,” I said. “It looks like it’s supposed to basically mean that you’ll be the bulletproof armor to block the ‘bullets’ of stereotypes, criticisms, and expectations that are aimed at adolescents.” I thought about the meaning for a minute. “I can see that, especially considering how Bang PD-nim is hoping for your songs to be more outspoken. Like not blindly following the path society sets out for you. It makes sense.”

The boys were all in thought about their new name.

“I get it,” Namjoon said hesitantly. “Not sure if I’m super keen on it though. Are there any other names they’ve suggested?”

Sejin oppa shook his head. “Nope, it seems like Bang PD-nim is pretty set on this one.”

“I guess we’re stuck with it then,” Seokjin shrugged.

The boys in general still seemed to be contemplating on if they really liked the name or not. Not that it mattered very much because if this is the name their boss wants for them, it’s the name they are stuck with.

“On another note,” Sejin continued, “we did also hear back regarding stage names. The ones some of you requested if you could use, and some suggestions too.”

“Oh yeah!” I remembered I had the paper with the list of names and rummaged through my bag to find it. “Here it is.” I walked toward the boys and sat with them on the floor, Sejin following close behind but remaining standing.

“First, Namjoon. You said you liked the sound of Rap Monster.” I had my questions about the name personally, but I kept those thoughts to myself. “You’ve gotten the green light for it.”

“Yes!” the mentioned boy cheered.

“Yoongi, you said you were hoping to go by Gloss like you had been back in Daegu,” I continued. “I’m sorry, but it seems like they don’t think it will suit you and the group too well.” I noticed a disappointed frown on his face, and I felt bad for him. I did try my best to help him out, but there wasn’t that much me or Sejin could do in these matters since this was a realm we weren’t in charge of. “They have a few suggestions for you, though. It seems that PD-nim highlighted this one as his favorite,” I showed him the list of names and pointed to the one I mentioned.

“Suga…” Yoongi contemplated the name. “I definitely don’t like the others. But Suga seems to have a nice ring to it. It reminds me of basketball.”

“How so?” I inquired.

“The position I played was called shooting guard,” Yoongi elaborated. So it’s like the first syllables of the two words combined together. Suga. It’s not bad. I think I can go with that.”

I circled the name to make a note of his choice. “Alright then. Jimin, they got a few suggestions for you.” I tried to not cringe as I looked at the names I showed him.

“Baby G? Kid?” He sighed. “I’m not a little kid, though…” He looked at me with puppy dog eyes, and I couldn’t help but feel like the expression was contradictory to what he just said. “Noona, I really don’t like these names. Can’t I just use my real name?”

“We’ll talk to them,” I replied. “I think your real name definitely sounds better anyway.” I looked at the next on the list. “Um, Jungkook. They have a suggestion for you too…”

“You don’t look very enthused about it, noona,” the maknae eyed me warily.

I responded by just showing him what was written.

“S-Seagull?” Jungkook said. “Like because I’m from Busan?” He was definitely not impressed. “Nope. No way. I just want to stick with my real name too.”

I emphatically nodded. “I will do whatever I can for you, Kookie.” I turned my attention to Taehyung. “So, Taetae. Bang PD-nim wants you to go with a more unique name. Do you like any of these?” I passed him the paper.

“Six, Lex, V…” he repeated what was written. “I don’t know.” He sat in contemplation for quite a while. “Can I get back to you about it, noona? I don’t think I hate any of them, but don’t know which one I would want to go with either. I want some time to think.”

“Alright.” I took the paper back from him. “As for Hoseok and Seokjin, we didn’t receive any suggestions for you guys. What do you think? Got any ideas?”

“I want to go by Jin,” Seokjin said with a smile.

I reciprocated the smile. “Hm, I wonder where you got that one.”

He chuckled. “I really like it. Can you ask if I can go by that name?”

“Of course I will,” I replied, writing a note on my paper. I looked at Hoseok expectantly. “Did you come up with anything?”

He seemed deep in thought. “I’m not sure, noona. I’ve been trying to think about what I want for a stage name but nothing is really coming to mind.”

“Well,” Sejin oppa spoke up from behind me, “it could be based on something really important to you, or something that reflects your personality.”

I thought for a second. None of the boys were one-dimensional, but a huge part of Hoseok’s personality was how bright he was. He could lighten the mood of the room so easily, almost like sunshine coming through on a cloudy day. “If I were to give my opinion, maybe something to do with the happy, energetic portion of your personality? I think you’re really good at lifting people’s spirits, helping them to feel happier.”

We all sat in contemplation for a minute before Hoseok interrupted. “I can take some more time to think of it. We don’t need to figure this out right now.”

Right when he said that, Seokjin had an idea. “Hope would be a good word to use I think.”

(A/N: At this point, they’re saying “hwimang”, which is “hope” in Korean.)

“Hope?” Hoseok contemplated. “Why?”

“Hope just sounds right. A single word to emphasize the feeling of your mood being lifted,” Seokjin elaborated.

“Hwimang… Hope.” I repeated the word in English. “That could be something.”

“Jung Hoseok, hope,” Yoongi said, using the English variant of the word. “J-Hope?”

Hoseok’s eyes lit up. “J-Hope? I kind of like that, hyung!” The others offered sounds of agreement with the name. “I like it. J-Hope sounds nice! Like I can be someone else’s strength, their hope. The more I think about it, the more I like it.”

“Should I put that down then?” I asked. “I think it sounds really nice, too.”

“Yeah! Let’s go with it,” Hoseok confirmed, smiling. “Thanks, guys. I don’t think I could have come up with that on my own.”

“I think it’s a rather fitting name for the sunshine of the group,” I offered him a smile. “Let’s hope you’re allowed to keep it.” I reviewed my notes from the conversation. “Okay, so Namjoon and Yoongi are decided, we’re waiting on Tae to decide which name he’d like, and we’ll see if Seokjin and Hoseok’s ideas will be approved. And of course, I’ll ask if Jimin and Jungkook can use their real names. To be honest, I didn’t like their suggestions either.”

I looked around at all of the boys, and noticed Taehyung looking really deep in thought, brows furrowed and not seeming to pay attention to anything going on. I looked at him curiously, but he didn’t notice. “Taehyung?”

He didn’t budge.

“Taetae,” I sing-songed. Again, nothing. I looked at Sejin oppa, who just shrugged.

Jimin, who was sitting next to him, snapped his fingers a few times in front of his friend’s face. He still didn’t move. It wasn’t until I shrugged my shoulders and started walking away that he finally made a noise.

“I got it!” He yelled, making me jump.

“Holy crap, Taehyung!” I said. “Was it really necessary to yell that loud?”

He looked at me and smiled apologetically. “Sorry, noona. But I figured it out. I know which one I like.”

“Oh, is that what you were thinking about so hard that you were in another world?” Jungkook asked.

“Was I? I didn’t think anyone was talking,” Tae responded.

I chuckled. “Well, what did you decide on?” I asked him.

“Oh! I like V!” he responded, throwing up a V hand sign to match his words. “I like to think it stands for victory. And, I don’t know. I just like how it sounds.”

I nodded. “Yeah, oddly enough it does seem to fit you well. V it is then.” I pulled out my paper one last time to make note of his choice. “I’ll go submit these to Bang PD-nim, see what he thinks.”

I left the practice room as the boys rang out goodbyes behind me. Sejin oppa had asked me to take charge of this once he received it from PD-nim, so it was my job to get back to him on it. I was pretty nervous though; I hadn’t really talked to him much since my interview where I was hired. Of course I’d seen him at the company sometimes, but just in passing.

Sejin oppa said once we got these details finalized, things would start to pick up for the boys. With their group and stage names taken care of, pre-debut promotions could start and we would have to not only watch over the activities they’ll have, but also start to try getting their names out there to companies ourselves.

I made it to the CEO’s office and knocked on the door. His secretary responded for me to enter and when I explained my business, she went into the next room to let him know I was here. She returned, gesturing for me to enter the room.

I slowly walked through the door, carefully bowing as I entered. “Hello, Bang PD-nim.”

“Hello, (Y/n),” he smiled at me. “It’s been a little while since we talked.”

“Yes, it has been.” I tried to hide the nervousness in my voice.

“No need to just stand there, (Y/n). Take a seat,” he gestured to the chair across from him. “So, you have the boys’ choices for their stage names?”

I nodded, opening up the paper with my notes as I sat down. I explained to him each member’s thoughts on names. He nodded along, but I couldn’t tell if he was satisfied with what I was saying. After I finished my explanations he was silent, only making me feel even more nervous.

“PD-nim?” I said after a moment.

“What are your thoughts?” He looked at me.

“I-I’m sorry?” I blinked. I didn’t expect him to ask me that.

“On Jimin, Jungkook, Seokjin, and Hoseok.”

“Oh. Well, we helped come up with the idea of J-Hope for Hoseok, and he’s really fond of it. Seokjin was really enthusiastic about wanting to go by Jin. And Jungkook and Jimin didn’t think any of the suggestions from the creative team were that great-“

“No, (Y/n). Not what they think. Obviously, I know that’s what they want. What do you think about them?”

My heartbeat quickened. I really hoped that I wasn’t in any kind of trouble for not responding correctly. “U-um… Well, I think J-Hope really matches Hoseok well because of his personality and ability to lighten up people’s moods. Jin sounds simple, but I think a single-syllable name fits him really well. It kind of makes him stand out a bit. And I’m not going to lie, I wasn’t fond of the suggestions for Jimin and Jungkook either. And not all of them need to have stage names, right? I can’t really think of anything that would match them better than their real names, so I think it’d be a good idea to stick with them.”

I lowered my head when I finished, feeling shy and nervous about what he would say. After not hearing a response, I lifted my gaze to see him smiling back at me.

“Okay,” he finally said after what felt like an eternity. “I guess their names are decided then. Rap Monster, Jin, Suga, J-Hope, Jimin, V, and Jungkook.”

I felt a smile find its way onto my face. “Thank you,” I said as I bowed my head.

“Why are you thanking me?” he responded.

I was a bit taken aback by the question. “Well, they just seemed happy with those names so I’m grateful that you agreed to them.”

He smiled. “Oh, and what did they think of the group name?”

I laughed nervously. “I’m sure they’ll get used to it.”

Series Masterlist

Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8

Tags: @calling-dips-on-j-hope

Send me a message or ask if you want tagged!

[they-dont-get-my-back]

Anything to sign?

(edit by @jungwooandhearts​ - thank you so much <3<3<3)

The story has “y/n” in it, but in fact, this is a gift for the absolute joy of my life, the warmest sunshine, the loveliest 여동생 that a person can wish for, the one and only @sno0pywoo​ . Jiwon, thank you for being here, thank you for reaching out and meeting me, thank you for all your kind words, I love you <3<3<3 Happy holidays! And now, the story :)

You feel like little Charlie coming into Willy Wonka’s chocolate factory. But instead of a golden ticket, you have a golden barcode that was randomly selected in the middle of the concert. Yes, you defeated all the other thousands of evil, greedy, selfish fans. You were picked because of your pure heart. And, of course, because of that barcode, a completely random set of numbers.

You’re clutching your concert ticket as the female staff member guides you through the backstage maze. Suddenly, you wish you wouldn’t be alone. What if you say something stupid or embarrassing? What if you trip over and make a complete fool out of yourself? There won’t be any place to hide. You get so lost in your thoughts that you don’t even realize the lady had stopped walking. You bump into her and she gives you a weird look. „Sorry,“ you say in tiny voice. „It’s okay. Now listen to me carefully. No hugging, no holding hands, no high fives, no touching whatsoever.“ „Okay.“ You tried to remember everything the lady listed. „No calls, no recording, no pictures, no videos, no live tweeting, streaming or insta-storying. Give me your phone.“ „But…“ You squeezed your handbag. „What if I need to call someone?“ „That’s exactly what we don’t want you to do. Have you been listening?“ You obediently give her your phone. „Open your handbag for me, would you?“ „Don’t worry, I don’t have any guns or knives, haha.“ „Ha-ha, now open that handbag.“ „Sorry.“ You let her peek at the mess inside your bag. „Fine. Do you remember all the things you’re not allowed to do?“ „Yes. But just to be sure, what can I do?“ „Talk. You can talk.“ And with that she opened the door leading to the dressing room. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

She walks right in and you follow her. The room is rather small, filled with costumes, bags, props, some water bottles, half eaten chips, half eaten cookie, an empty ramyeon cup and some general trash scattered here and there. Cozy. Amidst all this, there is Jungwoo, sitting in front of a big mirror, furiously pressing buttons on his phone. „Ah… the battery…“ he sighs. „Jungwoo, this is y/n.“ „Oh! I apologize, I got distracted. Hello! I am NCT’s Jungwoo!“ he says in his distinctive voice and flashes a bright smile. You wish you could scream. You wish you could cry. You wish you could do any kind of reaction, but you need to stay calm. „Hi, good evening, Mr. Jungwoo sir, I am very honoured to meet you also it’s my pleasure and I’m so happy nice to meet you how was your day?“ Well, that didn’t go entirely as planned. Jungwoo raised his hand to his mouth in amazement. „Gosh, you’re too cute!“ Did he just call you cute? You? Of all people? Did he maybe consider that any object in this room is way cuter than you? The staff lady interrupted your chaotic thread of thoughts. „You have 5 minutes.“ You nod and expect her to leave the room, but she remains firmly on her spot by the door. Ah, so that’s how it’s going to be. Of course, did you think they’d leave you alone with an idol? Silence creeps up into the dressing room. Oh, this is probably the part where you should start talking. „Umm…“ „Just a sec,“ Jungwoo interrupts your courageous speech. „Noona, could you please get me a phone charger? My battery died. Honestly, for a phone this expensive, you would expect it to have more power, I’d only been playing that game for two hours…“ The lady shifts in her place uncomfortably. She doesn’t agree with Jungwoo’s idea. „Pleeeeeease. I think me and… umm…“ he gestures at your direction. „Me. Oh. Y/n.“ „Yes of course, I think me and y/n will manage just fine.“ You realize that this is how every bad fanfiction starts and your heartbeat quickens. „Fine, I’ll be back in one minute.“ She looks at you. „Don’t – close - the doors.“ With that she leaves the room.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

„She still has my phone, huh.“ You wonder if your phone will get misplaced and you forget about it and only realize it at home and then you’ll have to call the company from your mum’s phone and they’ll tell you that someone will bring the phone back to you and that someone will be Jungwoo, standing by your door – no no wait. Reality check! „Earth to y/n!“ Jungwoo smiles at you and waves. „Hi!“ Darn it. How many times will you embarrass yourself today? Meanwhile, Jungwoo got up from his chair by the mirror and moved to stand by the door. That makes sense, as it’s his only escape route. You know, just in case. „How did you like our concert?“ he asks and leans his back on the half-open door. „It was amazing! All of you are really talented, we are so thankful to have you. And you sing and dance so well!“ „Haha, NCT is lucky to have you, our Czennies! What is your favourite choreo?“ „Oh, um… Umm…“ Ah, why would he ask such a difficult question? „Umm, probably Regular!“ It’s the first one that comes to your mind. „Oh, regular, huh?“ Jungwoo attempts to do the signature move, but the door that he’s leaning on suddenly moves and he looses his footing. He throws his hands into the air and falls backwards, slamming the door behind him shut.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Oh dear. What just happened? Jungwoo’s lying on the floor, head in his hands, a painful expression on his face. „Ow…“ „Are you alright?“ you ask worriedly. Please don’t faint, I don’t know how to perform resuscitation. You offer him your hand to help him stand up. As he’s about to grab it, you remember the rules. „No touching!“ You pull your hand back. Jungwoo looks at you like a kid that has just been denied his favourite cheesecake. „S-sorry,“ he says with a pout and gets up from the floor with great effort. He pulls the door handle, but the door remains closed. He tries again, rattling the whole frame, but to no avail. He looks at you, both hands still on the handle. „Haha… the door… won’t open. Hehe…“ he tries to laugh it out, but it’s pretty clear how nervous he is. You take a few quick steps towards the door, but you stop in your tracks when you see Jungwoo flinch. „I’m… I’m not going to hurt you, I swear! I just wanted to try to open it myself.“ „You think you’re stronger than me?“ Jungwoo crosses his arms. „ No, I just… wanted to…“ you step back, till you reach the opposite corner of the dressing room. This is a nightmare. All you wanted was to say hi to your favourite idol, maybe get his autograph and then cherrish this memory till the rest of your life. Instead you’re trapped with him in a tiny room and he fears you. You sigh. „Hmpf! Where’s the hidden camera, huh?“ „Camera?“ Jungwoo repeats and starts looking around himself frantically. „Oh, is this supposed to be a joke? Haha, very funny!!! Ahaha, I knew it! I knew it aaaaall the time. Wow, y/n, you’re such a good actress, but honestly, I saw right through you, from the very first moment you stepped in. Noone can be this awkward, haha, you played that part really well!“ „I was just joking.“ „Yeah I know, that’s what I’m saying. I mean the whole fall I did? That was just an act! Surprised you, huh? Now who’s the better actor here, hehet!“ he raises his arms in the air and does a little victory dance, then hisses and grabs his lower back all of a sudden with a painful expression. „Oww… There’s no camera, right?“ „I don’t think so.“ „So it’s not a prank?“ „Probably not.“ „This is all really stupid and we’re acting like idiots, right?“ „Yes, you a-- we are.“

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

For the first time, you see Jungwoo smile genuinely. „Sorry for that. Please don’t spread this on Twitter, there’s enough silly gossip going around even without this, haha.“ „It’s okay, don’t worry.“ The awkward silence returns. You decide to risk it. „You know, I’m sorry if I frightened you in any way. I just really admire you as an artist and I wanted to thank you for working so hard. You should know that you’ve made many people happy and we’re really grateful for that. What you’ve been able to achieve this year, to grow like this, it’s impressive and I hope you’re proud of yourself.“ You feel relieved, the stress and tension leaving your body. Jungwoo looks at his feet and then looks up at you again with a smile. „I am, I really am.“ You share another smile. „So! I guess we’ll be here for a while, until noona comes back with the charger. Do you have anything you want me to sign?“ You nod excitedly and hand him the Resonance album. „Ah! Nice, you bought our album! Thank you for your support.“ He scribbles down his signature, adding a tiny „Zeus“ underneath. „There you go!“ Wow, Kim Jungwoo just signed your album. You stare at his signature like it’s the most important and significant thing in the whole universe right now, completely forgetting that Jungwoo himself is still standing right in front of you. His sigh brings your attention back to him. He’s chewing on his marker, brows frowning, eyes gazing to the ceiling. „I feel like writing more. And drawing. I feel like drawing! Do you have anything else I could write on?“ „Just my… planner. An organizer.“ „Oh, sweet! Show me!“

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

You hand him the notebook filled with exam dates, test dates, meetings, school project deadlines, doctor appointments and your own scribbles and notes. Today’s date is circled in red and there are several hearts flowing around. „Aw, I guess you were really looking forward to our concert, huh?“ He sits down by the mirror and pats the chair next to him. „Come sit!“ So you sit down and watch him, with poorly hidden fascination, flipping through your notebook, adding notes and drawing tiny pictures. Firstly, he writes „Thank you for cheering for us today“ to today’s date and draws a couple of stars. „Ah, you have so much homework to do, so many exams, school must be really hard and stressful, huh?“ he asks with a worried look. „Yeah, it’s tough sometimes. But I’m not giving up!“ „Wooow, that’s the spirit! You’re a fighter!“ he raises his fist in the air and smiles and you feel like he’s just poured a year worth of positive energy into your mind. With this power, you can do just about anything, no matter how hard the task would be. He scribbles „Fighting!“ and „I’m rooting for you!“ to most of your exam dates and deadlines along with several smiley faces, hearts and stars. He looks like he’s enjoying it and it genuinely makes him happy and so relaxed, he even starts humming. „Oh? What’s this?“ He points to a date titled „MOVIE PROJECT“. „Yeah me and my friends are making a movie for our school project. We wrote a script, got the camera, costumes, setting, everything! We’ve shot most of it already. It was quite fun, hehe.“ „So you’re a filmmaker, awesome! Perhaps I’ll get to see your movies in the cinema one day?“ You highly doubt that, but it flatters you anyway and you blush. „What’s the title?“ „Hmm, we haven’t picked a name yet.“ „Ah, I see…“ Jungwoo seems to think for a bit and then gets to writing again. Next to the deadline, he scrawls „너의 이름이 뭐야?“ and then admires his art from a distance. He seems satisfied with it and you feel your heart melting. „KIM JUNGWOO!“ someone outside the room yells and bangs on the door and it startles both you and Jungwoo so much that you jump in your seats in unison. „Don’t let her see this.“ Jungwoo whispers and hands you your notebook back. You nod and shove it back to your handbag while rushing to the door. „Yes, noona, we’re still here, but the door--“ The said door swings open – all it took was one mighty kick from a furious manager. She scans the room, you and Jungwoo both look startled, but it doesn’t look like you were doing anything suspicious or inappropriate. She fixes her gaze on you. „I said. Don’t. Close. The. Door.“ „It wasn’t her, noona, it was… the… umm…“ „The wind.“ You tried to help. “The wind?” “Ah, yes,” Jungwoo tries to elaborate. “The wind! Don’t you feel how windy it is in here? Brrrr, I’m freezing because of that stupid draft! Be careful not to catch a cold, noona.” “Uh-huh. Sure.” The manager is clearly not convinced, but decided to let it go. “Your time is up, let’s go.” “Ah,” you don’t want to go, but what can you do? “Thank you for meeting me, thank you for all your hard work.”  “Thank you for not giving up on me and yourself.” Jungwoo smiles brightly. “Fighting!” “Fighting~~!” You feel so happy and moved you could cry. You take one last look on Jungwoo, so bright and cheerful, and then you leave the dressing room.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

As you’re leaving the concert venue, your phone back in your handbag, you know, you just know, that what you’ve shared with Jungwoo in that room, won’t ever repeat again. This special moment was once in a life time experience and you’re so happy that of all people it was you, who could experience it. You’re not going to share or post his words, notes or drawings anywhere. These were made just for you and they shall remain only yours. <3 

[readbeneaththelines]

Dancing On My Own

I just had to write this… I love this song, and it is so heartbreaking. Sooo, ofc I had to write something that goes along with it.

Characters: Dancer!Jimin x Dancer!Reader

Genre: Angst, nothing but pure angst, injury to reader

word Count: 2037

Song: Dancing on my Own by Robyn/Callum Scott

Somebody said you got a new friend

Does she love you better than I can?

There’s a big black sky over my town

I know where you’re at, I bet she’s around

After five years of being Jimin’s dance partner, and three years as his girlfriend, you knew him like the back of your hand. Or, so you thought. So when wekks of him staying at the studio until the early morning hours, and the influx of meetings, you began to feel something was amiss. 

Chorin: are you coming to the club tonight?

Y/N: I think  i will stay home and wait on Jimin

Chorin: Girl… whatever… love you bye

Y/N: Love you too boo  bye

You curled up on the couch, still in your dance attire from teaching classes all day. You had your favorite bottle of wine sitting on the table beside you, third glass in the works. Your head was a tad fuzzy, but you really wanted to wait up for him. 

Chorin: He’s here!

Y/N; Who? Where?

Chorin: Jimin! At the club

Chorin: Y/N I think you need to get here

Y/N: I’m tired. Are you sure its him?

Chorin: I’m not that drunk Y/N! Yes I’m sure and I don’t think he’s alone

Your heart sank. You had your suspicions, but you didn’t want to believe them. At that moment your world was turned upside down, the darkness outside matching your pain. Thunder crashed in the distance, the beating of your broken heart able to be heard over the loud, resounding cracks. You thought back to when this all started. It was when she arrived. The new dancer to your company. Jimin had hired her to help lighten your instruction load, and she really was a talented dancer. At first you had dismissed their friendly banter, chalking it up to him making her feel welcomed. A few times you would see them working on a choreo together, and the way they moved was all to familiar for your liking. But yet, you still dismissed it. He loved you, and he would never cheat on you. You kept telling yourself that, over and over, wanting desperately to believe it.

And yeah, I know it’s stupid

But I just gotta see it for myself

After Chorin’s last text, you needed to see for yourself. Finishing the glass of wine in one gulp, you grabbed your keys, slid on your shoes, and headed out the door. You weren’t going to let yourself feel anger, just yet. You wanted to see it first hand before you let yourself feel anything. Pulling into a parking spot at the club, you exited your car and strode quickly to the doors. There was less of a line, considering the late hours, but you had to find a way in. You texted your best friend.

Y/N: I’m here. Can you get me in?

Chorin: ofc give me two secs

Just as you put your phone away, you were being led in. Chorin was part owner of the club, and you had no problem getting in anytime you wanted. 

“Y/N, hun. I had to let you know.I’m sorry to drag you out her so late.” Her face was etched in regret and sorrow. “Where is he? Are you really sure it was him you saw?” She nodded apologetically. Lifting her hand, she pointed toward the dance floor. “He’s out there, dancing.” You cut her off. “With her.” Another sad nod. 

You weaved your way through the sea of sweaty bodies, the scent of salt and liquor filling your nostrils. Then you saw it. His arm stretching over his head. You knew that arm and hand anywhere. That arm had held you so many times before, that hand had touched you a thousand times over. But now, it held another hand. 

I’m in the corner, watching you kiss her, oh oh oh

I’m right over here, why can’t you see me, oh oh oh

And I’m giving it my all, but I’m not the guy you’re taking home, ooh

I keep dancing on my own

You made your way to the outskirts of the crowd, climbing the few steps to the upper level, and out of the glaring lights. You watched as he pulled her close, his hands splayed across her stomach as he mimicked her movement behind her. That all to familiar way they were in synch made your heart pound and your soul die. Closing your eyes, you remembered when he danced with you like that. How your bodies were as one when you danced together. Opening your eyes slowly, you now knew why you had spent the past few months dancing the same motions on your own. Because now he was dancing them with her. His lips that always had always kissed you good night were now kissing another. Tears filed your eyes as you watched them walk off the floor to a round of applause. He scanned the crowd and smiled at his admirers and then at her.

I’m just wanna dance all night

And I’m all messed up, I’m so out of line, yeah

Stilettos and broken bottles

I’m spinning around in circles

You had seen enough. Stromning out of the club, you ignored Chorin’s cries of your name. You slid in the drivers seat, not knowing where you were going, just knowing you didn’t want to be there. You stopped at the nearest liquor store, grabbing two bottles of their most expensive whiskey. There was one place you knew no one would be. The studio you shared with him. You nearly jumped the curb as you peeled into the lot, not caring to keep your car between the lines. Fumbling with the keys, you finally opened the door, heading directly for the main studio room.

You unscrewed the top on the bottle, tilting it up to your lips and throwing your head back. It burned as the liquid traveled down your throat. Anything to numb the pain, anything to forget the memories. You danced, the volume at full blast as music filled the room. After the first hour had passed, you went to take another swig of your ‘heartbreak remedy’. When nothing landed on your tongue, you threw the bottle down, shards of glass scattering everywhere. Looking down at it thoughtfully, you imagined that each glimmering shard was a piece of your heart. Thrown and shattered because it was empty. Empty.  Broken.

You danced to your heart’s content. Leaps and twirls that made your already scattered mind spin round and round. You could recall the dances your performed with Jimin at Charity events. THe way he would spin you like the tiny ballerina in your childhood music box. Alway precise, always perfect. The way he would hold you close, as you both glided across the dance floor, every eye on you in adoration. You stopped, but only long enough to open the second bottle. You no longer felt the burn, you were almost there. Almost numb enough to not feel the pain that tore at your soul. You steps were now faltering, clumsily stepping into the broken glass on the floor beneath your feet. At least you were so far gone you couldn’t feel them cutting into the soles of your bare feet. 

So far away but still so near

The lights come up, the music dies

But you don’t see me standing here

I just came to say goodbye

As Jimin stepped off the dance floor, Chorin was there to meet him. He wasn’t sure which came first, the sting of her hand across his cheek or her screaming at him. “You son of a bitch!” Jimin stood there, stunned. “Do you have any idea what you have done? She was here! She saw everything. You asshole. Did you hear me? Everything!” Jimin was still a bit confused from how Chorin was acting, until it dawned on him. You had been there. You had seen everything. Every. Little. Thing. He left the woman standing, dumbfounded, as he sped past Chorin. His feet carried him as fast as they could. He climbed into his car, hitting speed dial on his phone. Of course you didn’t answer, why would you. He drove to the one place he knew that you went to for an escape. The place he always did too. When he pulled up, he could already hear the music blaring through the window of the main studio. Hanging his head low, he knew he had to face you. He had to try to explain. Had to do what exactly? How does one tell someone they loved, that they were having an affair? How do you tell that person that the other one meant nothing? How do you tell them you regret what you did, only probably because they got caught? How do you not break them anymore than they already were? He didn’t have the answers, but he had to talk to you. 

Fear filled him when he saw you through the observation windows. There you were, swaying mindlessly to the music, bloodied footprints scattered all around the wooden floor, another half empty of liquor in one hand. He watched, frozen in his place as you spun into the broken fragments that represented your heart and more blood flowed from the bottoms of your feet. He opened the door, flicking the remainder of the lights on. You tripped over your own feet when the sudden brightness startled you. From the corner of your eye, you captured a blurry figure running across your field of vision. Squinting, you tried to focus on the person that had turned the music off. 

“Y/N!” you knew that voice, but you were so drunk by now you couldn’t remember your own name practically. You felt two strong hands lift you up and carry you to the far wall. You couldn’t help but laugh as those same hands picked up one foot. The audible wince meant nothing to you. “Y/N, what have you done?” 

Recognition flashed, and he came into focus. Your laughter immediately turned to tears when you saw the look of worry etched across his forehead. “Don’t touch me. Don’t you dare touch me with the same hands that touched her!” You screamed, kicking at him with your splintered glass filled feet. “Just leave, Jimin. Go home with her. Take her to your home, cause it is no longer my home.” Your sobs echoed of the walls as you fought of his hands as he tried to help you. “Y/N! Your feet are bleeding and full of glass. We need to get you to the hospital.” You couldn’t believe he was even considering taking you anywhere. “We? We are not doing anything. You, on the other hand, you are leaving. I never want to see your face again Park Jimin! I never, ever want to hear the sound of your voice in my head again. You, you are dead to me. Do you hear me? Dead. I don’t give a fuck if I ever dance again!” You took a deep breath, calming yourself enough so he could understand you next words. 

“I don’t care if I never dance again. Because if I’m not dancing with you, I don’t want to dance on my own. Goodbye Jimin.” You turned away from him, burying your face in you hands as you pulled your knees up to your chest. “Y/N, please, just let me explain.” Through the small space you had created you screamed back at him once more. “Leave Jimin, and never come for me again!” 

With a heavy sigh, he stood up, walking to the door. He took one last look at the shattered glass and then at you. One the reflection of the other. He called Chorin on his way out, making sure she came and took care of you. Just as the front doors closed behind him, he heard the music start up once again. This song that belong to the two of them. Your song. He knew that you would never dance to it again. Because you would never dance on your own again.

[junghelioseok]

Not sure if ur taking req.This came to me as I read catharsis, I loved their friendship.Ur hired as a choreographer for the group, & ur in Korea on a work visa.JK just gets you like no one else does. You are bff, then it turns romantic.U keep ur relationship secret, & when U travel with the group he always sneaks to ur hotel room. He wants to take the relationship public, but u know the company will fire you, & you need your work visa to stay in Korea (to stay with JK). happy ending please. 😊

so i don’t take requests, sorry! however i have also been thinking about this idea nonstop since i got it so! i’m gonna not ignore it for once and lay out exactly what i would do if i did write it (which i refuse to actually do bc more jk ideas is the absolute last thing i need, lolol).

that being said, if any of my writer friends want to take this on, please do so!!! and tag me in the finished fic bc i would read the hell out of this shit. i fucking love this idea and i need it to come to fruition one way or another. (but like, obviously you should take it in whatever direction you see fit. please don’t feel the need to follow my outline, lmao.)

anyway, without further ado, here is my abbreviated version of this, ft. the frankly absurd, stream-of-consciousness way i plan every fic i write, ahaha. 

let’s get it!!!

you weren’t ready

you weren’t ready when the email from bighit came, asking for your help choreographing the dances for love yourself: answer

(you thought it was a joke, tbh)

you weren’t ready to get a korean work visa on such short notice

and you definitely weren’t ready to actually live and work in a different country

two years of college-level korean and a month’s worth of nightly cram classes couldn’t have prepared you for life in seoul

and no amount of researching bts - whether that was binging music videos or going over every dance practice vid or repeatedly listening to the albums - could have prepared you for your first meeting with the boys

tbh you kinda thought they’d be jerks, being so wildly popular and whatnot

but you couldn’t have been more wrong

one month into your time at bighit, and you finally understand the undying adoration army has for the boys

they’re just seven big soft nerds in stupidly handsome bodies

you’ve been subjected to hundreds of dad jokes, courtesy of seokjin, and plenty of clingy hugs from jimin

you’ve grown to love hobi’s screaming laughter and yoongi’s quiet grumpiness

but no matter how well you get along with all of the boys, nothing compares to your budding friendship with jeon jungkook

admittedly it’d taken a while for him to get comfortable enough to speak to you directly, especially when namjoon isn’t around to act as a translator

and likewise, it took a while for you to become accustomed to speaking korean every day

but once you both get past the language barrier, it’s like you’ve known each other your entire lives

you bond over your mutual love of dancing, of music and flow and rhythm

and watching him dance is a dream

every move is the perfect mix of grace and power, and he’s a joy to teach choreo to

hardworking and perseverant and more than a little bit of a perfectionist

but so are you, and that just means that you spend plenty of late nights in the studio together

working through the bits of choreography that just aren’t clicking yet

prepping for the upcoming ly tour

helping him with the choreography for euphoria

you were shocked when he approached you about his solo stage instead of sungdeuk, but you can’t say you weren’t pleased that he trusts you

and the first time you heard him open his mouth and sing euphoria in person, you were blown away

after that, you spend even more time together in the studio, long after the other boys and sungdeuk have left

late night after late night, dancing and laughing and ordering takeout at 1am when you’re both starving and need a break

one night you’re both hanging out in golden closet, snacking on ice cream and fried food you know you’ll regret later, listening to the setlist and talking big picture stuff for the ly tour 

and jungkook suddenly pauses the music and pulls up a new, different audio file

“um, i’ve been working on something and i was wondering if you wanted to listen to it?”

surprise, it’s his mixtape

it’s a work in progress - just a short collection of songs and a few random snippets that he admits he’s been working on for almost a year now

but every single one is so heart-wrenchingly lovely and emotional

your eyes may or may not well up a little during the last song - a soft, sentimental ballad that has you longing for something you didn’t know was missing in your life

“jungkook… this is beautiful”

“… i wrote it for you”

“…”

what are you gonna do, not kiss him?

lmao unlikely!

so you kiss him. a lot.

and then you do a lot more than that

you end up straddling him in his chair, your knees on either side of his thighs as his hands curl around your waist and find their way under the hem of your shirt

it’s sweaty and hurried and he tastes like the strawberry ice cream that he was just eating but it’s perfect nonetheless

afterward you are both in a happy haze, your head leaning on his shoulder as he strokes your back fondly

but then reality comes crashing back down

“jungkook, oh my god, we can’t do this!”

“but noona”

“but nothing! i’m only here temporarily, and if word gets out that we’re dating i’ll be fired!”

it’s so hard to tear your gaze from those pretty doe eyes when they’re staring up at you so beseechingly, but somehow you find the strength to wrench away from him and out of golden closet

you can still hear him calling for you as you run away, but you don’t turn back and he doesn’t chase you

needless to say, things are a little awkward from that point forward

you still see him every day at rehearsals

but you stop having one-on-one sessions with him late at night and tell yourself that it’s for the best

the other boys aren’t dumb; they notice that something is amiss straight away

but they don’t press too hard and you’re grateful for that

just days later, the international part of the ly tour starts and you are all jetting off to north america

by that point, it’s been almost a week and a half since you’ve spoken more than two sentences to jungkook

and you have no intention of changing that anytime soon

you can feel his eyes boring into you on the plane and in the car on the way to the hotel

but you escape to your hotel room and don’t see him again until dress rehearsal later that night

they’re running through the setlist, and you can’t help but admire how he looks in casual clothes

no one else could pull off a matching gray puma tracksuit, tbh

but he can, and he’s got the sleeves of his gray sweatshirt rolled up to his elbows to expose the rolex on his wrist

and his sweatpants are juuuust tight enough to show off the definition of his thighs

but! you’re a professional, and you can’t be looking at him with anything more than a critical eye so that’s what you do

even when he keeps glancing your way during euphoria

and stares right into your eyes as he nails the high note

afterward, you go onstage to give the boys your notes

you have a lot to say to hobi about just dance, and you can just feel jungkook’s hot gaze lingering on you the entire time

and then…

(thanks a lot for this shit, @puellaigmotum istg i have fucking nightmares about this bit of dialogue and it’s 10000% your fault)

… he corners you backstage

“noona, why are you paying so much attention to hobi-hyung… when i’m right here and ready to be on my knees for you”

he’s so close you can’t even fucking breathe by this point, his lips right at your ear and ruffling your hair with every word he speaks

when he begins kissing a trail along your jawline you finally regain control of your lungs 

and all you can manage is a shaky “jungkook, not here”

and you press the second copy of your hotel key into his hand

he comes over that night, of course

(and just like he promised, he does end up on his knees)

(head nestled between your thighs, one of your legs thrown over his shoulder to keep you spread open for him)

but a n y w a y

when you wake up in the morning, jarred awake by your alarm at far too early an hour, he is curled around you with one arm draped over your waist

he’s bleary and a little dazed and has the cutest bedhead you’ve ever seen

but when he sees you still in bed with him, his entire face splits into the brightest bunny smile

he pulls you in for a kiss and you could happily spend the rest of your life tucked away under the blankets there with him

but he’s got a concert to get ready for and both of you know it

the last rehearsal before the concert goes off without a hitch, and if anyone notices how you and jungkook are on good terms again, no one says anything about it

the concert is incredible. the boys smash it.

you are beaming when jungkook comes off the stage after his solo, ready with a bottle of water and a towel and plenty of congratulatory words

he beams right back, scooping you off your feet and twirling you in a full circle before putting you back down again

(his stylists are a little dismayed by the rumpled state of his clothes, but they can’t say much when namjoon destroys everyone’s outfits daily. they’re used to it.)

besides, all the staff can see just how happy he is around you

afterward, you all go out for a celebratory dinner, toasting to a successful tour kickoff

jungkook sits beside you and cracks inane jokes the entire time, and you spend the entire evening laughing your ass off with him

naturally, he finds his way back to your hotel room that night

and pretty much every night after, from la to hamilton to london

you’re in berlin when he first broaches the topic of taking your relationship public

“jungkook, we can’t! i’ll be fired!”

“no you won’t”

“how can you be so sure?”

“i’m negotiating my contract renewal right now, and i’m making sure that nothing prohibits me from dating. i want to be with you, noona.”

“but jungkook…”

“don’t you want to be with me?”

“yes, of course i do-”

“then that’s all that really matters, isn’t it?”

he kisses you before you can speak again, and all your protests and arguments fly out of your head the moment his lips meet yours

the very next morning you agree to gradually make your relationship public, first to the other boys and then bang pd and the rest of the bighit staff

(most of them already knew though)

everyone’s happy for you, even the company higher-ups, because it’s so easy to see how happy jungkook is these days

(and like, lowkey, sungdeuk has already decided to spoil rotten any kids you may have in the future)

but no one is happier than you and jungkook

as soon as the tour ends, you extend your visa so that you can stay in korea longer with him

jungkook is yours and you are his, and life is good ♡

[ggukshelf]

Bear with me, will you?

pairing:  You x Yoongi  workd count:  2661

The new studio was enormous and you felt nervous looking at it, but taking this big step into your plan of career was something you needed to do, more than ever. So many plans were left undone for a long time, therefore this was it. This was definitely it.

BigHit Ent.

You never thought you’d come across any company in South Korea, let alone one that has been so prospective for the last few years, but you were here and this was your time to shine.

You could feel your heart pump so fast you thought you were going to collapse at any time and end your dream before even starting to live it. Normally you’d be worrying about many things, but at this moment you just wanted to enjoy your biggest accomplishment.

You were officially hired as a dancer and choreographer for the new group Big Hit was about to debut.

“One and two, three and four. Now move slowly to the ground... and up.”

“Eonni, this is too difficult,” Seolhee complained, not frustrated with you, but with herself. She had a lot of problems regarding learning new choreographies; she was an exceptional singer, but not that good of a dancer.  

“You can do it, Seolhee-ah.” You patted her hair as you walked past her to pause the song.

“I can’t, this is just- Argh!”

“He’s a normal person like you, dummy. You’ll rock it.”

You were teaching the choreography Seongdeuk created with you, it was for an end of the year stage which Seolhee and Jimin would be collaborating on in two months.  You were impatient as well, knowing you’d be hanging out more with BTS again soon enough, but you tried to make her feel as comfortable as possible, they were label mates, she shouldn’t be so nervous.

That’s what you repeated to yourself every day for the rest of the week.     

“Are you sure you don’t want to come with us?”

“I’m sure. I’ll have a busy day tomorrow.”  You answered Hoseok.

All the crew, including stylists, hairdressers and choreographers would be going out to celebrate a successful year.  It’s been three months already and you still felt uncomfortable near everyone. They were all so nice to you, but you weren’t used to that much kindness.

“Oh, please!!!! Noona, you never go.” Jungkook whined, making you almost pout in front of them, Seolhee was looking at you with pleading eyes as well, but all you did was a hiss and deny his invitation once again.

The streets were cold and you thought it would have been a better idea to accept their invitation to celebrate in a cozy place with a lot of orange juice and maybe a little bit of Soju, this was a habit you got from your friends in Brazil, always mixing up some alcohol with  sweet things, although you weren’t much of a drinker.

Your phone started buzzing and despite walking alone, you weren’t afraid of being stolen - the magic of South Korea. You picked up your phone and answered immediately without looking twice to the number on the screen.

“Hello?”

“Where are you now?” You heard a familiar husky voice speaking without any greetings first.

“Ehm… who wants to know?”

“Really? Okay, it’s Yoongi.” You could hear his chuckle almost offended by not having his phone number saved on your contacts list.

“Oh, Yoongi-ssi.”

“I already said you can call me oppa.”

“O-oh, okay… o...ppa?” You could feel cold sweat dripping down on your back. It was so unusual to even be noticed by him during the times you met each other, because you were always talking majorly about work and how he could improve even more, because Yoongi was a really good dancer already, just a tiny bit lazy; sometimes you were discussing the feeling of some songs so you could work better on them. You never spoke with him outside of work, just that one time you were eating in the cafeteria of Inkigayo waiting for the new girl group’s debut and you met him there so he just sat with you and made small talk to pass the time.

He was the sweetest person ever, albeit he tried to convey the opposite, you could see through that with his small actions towards people around him, always kind, always caring, always him.

In the beginning it was difficult to not stare when you were in the same room, a few times you didn’t notice his presence much when you were focused on your job as to help others with their dance movements, but when you had a break your eyes always darted directly to his figure almost immediately, as if they belonged there. Like magnets, as you explained to your friends these weird things you kept doing whenever you were near him. And you wanted it to stop, but then he was calling you for whatever reason he had and it just didn’t feel right. Almost like you didn’t deserve to have his attention.

“So, where are you right now?”

“Ehm, walking home?”

“Is this a question? Don’t you know where you are?”

“No! I mean… I do! It’s just… I’m flustered by your call.”

“Why?”

“I was just not expecting it.” You, of five years ago, wouldn’t even be able to mutter a word to him, so you were very thankful for time and growth because you were having a normal - weird - conversation with someone you admired a lot without stuttering or giving away the state of awkwardness you were in at this very moment.

“I see! Well… I need to know so I can pick you up.”

You choked on your saliva.

“Hey… you okay?”

“Y-yes! Just… what did you just say?”

“I need to know so I can pick you up.” He repeated almost as if you didn’t hear him, which he knew you obviously did.

Yoongi wasn’t stupid.

Yoongi knew you were declining invitations because of him, he isn’t much talkative because he is a good observer and to your despair, he had been observing you for quite a long time.

He noticed you were always staring, always shying away when he got too close so that intrigued him a little bit more. He started paying attention to the way you treated the - at the time- trainees from the new group. You had to work alongside them to make this group debut in their best shape. Yoongi and Namjoon were helping BigHit’s team with the songs and you were making choreographies with Sungdeuk so your jobs overlapped frequently. You needed to know the feelings of the songs to bring life to the choreo, that’s why you were hired in the first place. You could understand the lyrics and give beautiful meanings to the movements, something Bang PD was extremely impressed about, not just him, mind me telling you.

Yoongi was smiling to himself the first time he saw the sweetest action he thought a human being could do when Sungdeuk almost broke the trainee's heart by scolding them aggressively. Korea’s system of encouraging others was a little bit fucked up, Big Hit was actually very low on those kinds of attitudes, but the time was up and he had to make the girls wake up. After he left the room, Yoongi was about to enter when he saw you talking to all of them in a semi-circle.

Nobody noticed his presence.

“I know you girls are scared and anxious, but you are doing fine. You really are. Improvement comes with time, what your teacher wanted to tell you just now, is that you need to show you are doing your best, even if your best still needs improvement, we just want you to give your all to this.”

The talk went on and on and Yoongi didn’t even enter the room, leaving the girls comfortable enough to cry and get their support from their favorite teacher... You!

Like I said… he wasn’t stupid. He knew observing you wouldn’t be a consequence-free act, so in between these three months, he started having little heart attacks every time you smiled at him. The difference between both of you was that he knew how to hide it so well, yet you couldn’t even pretend you didn’t feel anything.

Everyone started to notice after a while how you and Yoongi communicated through looks and gasps of air when you were almost touching each other’s arms for being so close.

Nobody dared to utter a word about it.

It looked like some sort of soundless communication, that you... especially, didn’t even know was happening. But Yoongi knew, and he knew exactly where all of this was coming from.

“Pick- what?”

“Why are you so deaf today?” He laughed a bit making your stomach churn with the sound of his laugh.

“I’m sorry, I’m just very surprised.” You answered back, trying to steady your voice.

“About what?”

“Just… nevermind- I…”

“Listen, I know you are not going because of me, I’ve realized that quite a while ago, and I just want to know where are you so I can pick you up.” He wasn’t rude, he just really didn’t want to lose more time with useless remarks, he wasn’t giving up.

“I’ll- Ehm.”

“Okay, send me your directions on Kakao, I’ll be waiting. Bye.”

“This is so weird.”

“What is so weird?” He asked looking ahead, concentrating on the road.

“I’m not used to it.” You answered honestly, it was weird still having him giving you rides home every time he was in Seoul and not overseas.

It was weird knowing he would always call you again and again until you picked up and talked to him.

You didn’t understand the reasons behind his actions, albeit he told you millions of times before, he simply liked you.

Dumfounded. No other word could describe how you felt when he told you that, and it was just unbelievable.

“Why do you even like me?” You asked.

“Why do you even like me?” He replied.

“Because you are-- incredible.” You blurted out hiding your face in your hands, laughing nervously and feeling the heat on your cheeks get uncomfortable.

“Well, same applies to you, I only have a few more reasons to add, yet I feel like if I do it now, you’re going to combust.” He chuckled entertained by your always cute reactions.

At first, it was hard for him, you were partially passive aggressive while talking to him, hoping he’d give up on you, fortunately -or not- it didn’t happen. He was not the type to give up on what he really wanted.

And he wanted to get to know you better. That’s how it all started.

“Taking you to dinner out is weird?”

“Definitely.”

“Are you scared?”

“A lot!”

“Will you only give me short answers?” He looked at you half smirking. He knew you were very nervous. In fact, you were against going out in public since you didn’t want to affect his career in any way. Plus you knew it’d be difficult since you worked together, the public wouldn’t see it lightly; not that you had a relationship, because you didn’t.

It took you a bunch of weeks to start having nice conversations about everything and anything… I mean, conversations like normal people.

“Sorry!”

“There you go again… just, relax!” He smiled a little, trying to calm you down, which didn’t really help, so he went a little further, placing his palm on your left thigh and squeezing it a bit.

You took a deep breath and smiled back at him, still a bit nervous since you didn’t know where he was taking you.

“Is this real?” Yoongi had just taken your blindfold off and you couldn’t believe where you were.

The bright colorful lights of the amusement park were so beautiful you were astonished to see the park was opened only for both of you. You were jumping excitedly clapping your hands while Yoongi looked at you fondly. You were so cute!

“Yes, it is. Are you okay now… with our date?” He asked, raising an eyebrow questioningly.

“Hmm, yes! Definitely. I mean… look at this.” You opened your arms and walked close to the merry-go-round with a big smile on your face, not a care in the world, not even being afraid of letting Yoongi see your raw emotions.  “This is incredible!”

“I’m glad you like it.” He walked towards you, making you stop looking around and concentrating on the situation you were in. “I needed to impress you to ask you something.”

You gulped and so did he.

“Well, about impressing me… you really did.” You smiled a little. Looking down and trying to breathe. You and he had so much time to get to know each other, to gain each other’s trust, to understand each other’s feelings and at some point, to accept you felt the same way.

Yoongi never started much skinship since he knew you were always so nervous about it, but often he held your hands and kissed the top of your head. Now, he wanted to take a step further.

He didn’t take his eyes off of you and after he was almost touching your chest with his torso. He gently held your waist, still looking at you carefully as if searching for any kind of discomfort from your part.

You were nervous, but you wanted this.

“I know I’m kind of a grandpa when it comes to going out and doing things, but this park is so you and I wanted to see you happy.” He simply said, smiling kindly at you.

Your mind was begging you to not do it, but your body against your own will leaned onto him. You rested your forehead against his firm chest while you sighed in content.

“Thank you!”

You couldn't see it, but Yoongi gave you his widest smile, he kissed the top of your head, like he is used doing now while he felt his chest warm up at the thought of your happiness. You deserved it. Both of you did!

“Thank you for accepting me.” He said almost in a whisper.

“What are you-”

“I know it might be hard because I’m an idol and you don’t believe how much I care for you, but I do. And closing this park is not even close to the things I want to do for you.”

“Oh god, please… don’t do anything like this again.” You looked up, worried. “It’s expensive.”

“You are worth it.” He smiled and his eyes were so beautiful.

“I-”

“I know.” He said, taking one of his hands off your waist, bringing it to your cheek. He held you so close, your bodies were burning with the heat coming from each other’s nervousness.

“Bear with me, will you? I want to be with you. So please, accept me.” He asked quietly and you could feel your eyes getting watery. Everything seemed like a dream and you were just waiting to wake up. After a while though, he chuckled and called your name softly, understanding you were overwhelmed.

“I want to be with you so bad.” You answered back.

“Good.”

“Yeah, good!”

He leaned even more so his lips could touch yours. So soft, so warm, so good.

He was so gentle as if any brusque movement could break you, and you were very impatient, but also letting him lead things. His hand was big and you felt so safe when he touched your cheek as if nothing in the world could hurt you because he was your shield. His tongue was tender, smooth and when it touched yours, you felt waves of electricity running through your entire body.

He was there for you, he wouldn’t go anywhere and he wanted you to accept him.

When you parted the kiss to take a deep breath, you finally got the realization.

This was definitely it. You were living the dream!

[popliar]

BTS: Love Yourself in Hong Kong

23 and 24 March 2019 - I loved it and had many thoughts about it below the cut.

For the Saturday 23 March show, our seats were basically looking onto the podium at the end of the catwalk so they were great. But the venue is honestly so small that any seat would've been good - this was the 3rd of 4 shows in Hong Kong, and probably the smallest shows they played on the Love Yourself tour and the smallest they'll play in years (except for Muster, lol).

For the Sunday 24 March show, our seats were one section further away from the stage, but it was still a great view with a broader angle that gave me a better view of the staging and VCRs. Both nights, I had a better view than I did at the Sydney Wings show in 2016 - this was just a smaller, closer arena.

And I enjoyed both shows so much! The shows were almost 3 hours long each but they felt like they went by in a flash. And they played so many songs, but also there were SO many more I wish they could've played - their discography is really wild at this point, it's just PACKED with hits.

In many ways the live show is the ultimate piece of fan memorabilia - but it holds a kind of tension within itself too. On the one hand, it's a unique, irreplaceable experience that can't be duplicated or repeated. On the other, especially in kpop where we have so much access to fancams and concert footage, there's pressure for the experience to meet the expectations that we have, to live up to the hype of the previous shows.

(Those two things play off each other too. How else would we - or some of us, anyway - know to watch out for those micro deviations, those little moments when Jimin runs away from Namjoon in Anpanman, when Taehyung and Jin look like they're gonna make out in So What?)

But this idea of the experience as unique and non-replicable is not quite true or not quite as simple as that. We live in an age of digital media and - this is especially true in kpop - incredibly high quality fancams and photos. Sitting at a remove of many metres, and viewing only one side of the stage, there were definitely moments that I 'missed' and had to discover later through social media. And also there's a concert DVD and a concert movie which captures maybe not your show in particular, but the essentials of this tour.

One thing that can't truly be replicated - the atmosphere. It made me laugh, in a delighted way, when the crowd just screamed and sang along to every MV and BT21 CF shown before the show. I just love the comraderie of fandom, the build of excitement. Or how pretty it looked when all the Army bombs were lit up, or when we all took out our phones. It was a good feeling. (Though as @proteinscollide said some Korean-speakers in the row behind us pointed out - it was noticeable that the crowd was much quieter when it was the Korean rather than English! LOL.)

Some of the very brief ments early in the show were repeated the following night, but their ending ments were unique to each evening. A Cantonese translator from behind the scenes translated after each of them spoke, except when they spoke in English - this helped me a little, but my Cantonese is so poor and the crowd was so LOUD that again I had to check on twitter afterwards for full translations! A few of them tried to also say some phrases in Cantonese which was very endearing; out of them all, Hoseok had the best pronounciation (which I guess fits in well with his history of having pretty good Japanese and English pronounciation too).

ETA: oh and I loved Jin with the disco ball sunnies and the pirate mask for each of the end ments!!! He's so ridiculous....I love him....

Notably on the 23rd, it was the first time Namjoon referenced their upcoming Map of the Soul: Persona comeback. On the 24th, he mentioned again that comeback was coming and it felt like it was really soon - you're telling me LOL.

Okay brief notes on the setlist:

Idol - what a way to start the show with a bang. As far as live staging goes, it's so dynamite.

Save Me/I'm Fine - I always feel like Save Me is such a tease because it stops right before my favourite verse from Hoseok and Yoongi lol but I DO love I'm Fine!

Magic Shop - lots of walking around on stage rather than choreo, this is such a lovely song!

Junghope VCR - this VCR omg. I had seen blurry fancams of it before but can we just pause and reflect for a moment on how immensely shippy it is? THEY ARE IN LOVE! SO DOMESTIC! THE RED STRING OF FATE don't look at me.

Just Dance - wow, Hoseok just makes such amazing use of the stage. Even after having seen the LY concert movie and NUMEROUS fancams, it really is true that the full impact of this stage is best experienced live (this is a great thread). The way he uses the entire space, on the raised platform and then on the catwalk, how he interacts with the crowd - he's just DYNAMITE.

Euphoria - the aesthetic of this song is so Jungkook to me, the optimism and the brightness. Also I don't know how but on the first night I somehow did not notice the gold glitter in the air AT ALL? I guess I was too caught up in JK and the dancers!

I Need U/Run - I JUST LOVE THESE SO MUCH THANK U. I was rewatching the MVs today and I just… what a time, what an era. HYYH gave us so much.

Minjoon VCR - this just screams Lake House AU, doesn't it? Separated by time but not space… Speaking of AUs, it's fascinating to think about how this was originally Yoongi and Jimin (shown in the concert DVD behinds). So they originally paired up Serendipity and Seesaw? I think it makes more sense the way it is now. Would be super interesting to see the unshown VCRs though.

Serendipity - I looked for Jimin’s tattoo both nights! And did not see it, argh! Yet the fansite photos clearly show, it was there. Sometimes, you don't see it at all at the time. This is a great stage, Jimin is such a magnetic performer and it's a super impressive dance. Also, bubbles!

Love - the boldness of Namjoon to perform this completely solo, no dancers, no stage effects aside from lighting - I admire that so much. He has the charisma for it. (Also it is very great when Namjoon slips off his robe and Hobi helps him put on his jacket, in a neat reversal of what they did for Boy Meets Evil/BST at an awards show a couple of years ago, p.s. Namseok.)

DNA - The screams for this! Both during the show and before the show when the MV was showing - it really speaks to how many people became fans in the LY era, I think. I think I've come really full circle on DNA. I grew almost tired of it when it was at its peak, but now with a bit of time and distance, I can really enjoy it again. That choreo is still wonderful. (And it's hilarious seeing that Vhope moment in the beginning get more and more casual over the course of this tour. At both shows, they just held hands or just hugged.)

Medley - the first night was I think Boyz with Fun, Attack on Bangtan, Fire, Baepsae, Dope. Second night was Dope, Go Go, Blood Sweat and Tears, Boy in Luv, Fire. I enjoyed both immensely! Hobi did the splits for the Baepsae dance break! I will never be over BST! I LOVE!

Airplane Pt 2 - this is just such a superior song and superior choreo, it's SO GOOD, thank you.

Taehyung VCR - this is so stunning, I can't even. When it pulls back and he puts his hand on the glass… and it frosts over... At the end my friend leaned over and said 'house of psychics' and was she wrong? NO SHE WAS NOT.

Singularity - this stage was immensely beautiful and breathtaking and Taehyung is purely charisma. I found out after the show that he was kind of sick on the 23rd? I honestly could not tell.

Fake Love - I've seen this so many times but you know what, this choreo is still GREAT. And Bangtan in all black, all emo is such a look.

Yoonjin VCR - this was the most straight forward of the VCRs. Again, fascinating to think it was originally Namjoon and Seokjin, Love and Epiphany.

Seesaw - the staging for this is so fun, Yoongi doing his dances and sliding off the bench and running back up again - he's so good at this!

Epiphany - oh good crying time. I did actually get a tear in my eye when this played the first night. It's just a song that means a lot to me… MUSIC, EMOTIONS! A POTENT COMBINATION! And Jin is very handsome.

The Truth Untold - vocal line all in a row like four flowers, they're just so good! The way this stage used the raised platform and the four screens was also really effective. It's such a lovely song.

Tear - I've seen so many fancams for this and the concert movie but I was still? blown?? away????? Rapline are just absolutely monsters of charisma and stage presence, and the way they deliver this with complete commitment - I was slain right there. Hoseok's ending verse, FUCK.

Mic Drop - NO ONE DOES IT LIKE BTS thank u

This was the 'end' of the show but of course we all knew there would be more. Strangely, or perhaps this is cultural, this led to a subdued interlude. There were definitely attempts to get fanchants going - sometimes successful, sometimes not, I laughed a little at some of the awkward pauses - and especially on the 23rd, there was a touching crowd singalong to Spring Day. But overall it was more subdued than I expected given how loudly the crowd did scream when BTS were on stage.

So What - SUCH A CLUB ANTHEM, it was so delightful seeing them all having so much fun! I had fun too! Fun for everyone!

Anpanman - the cutest fucking choreo, and the cutest fucking group, that is all.

Answer: Love Myself - all the ending feels… emotionally wrung out… a little exhausted… but just seeing how happy they looked and how happy I felt - I love concert.

[95liners3rdmember]

Worth It

Chapter Eleven: Now you know. (Part 2)

Word Count: 4239

Chapter 10: What now? (Part 1)

After spending a few minutes alone to regain my composure, I finally made my way back out into the main set. All of the stylists are chatting away with my sister, who’s glowing with joy but I can also see the underlying irritation in her smile. Tonight’s going to be a long night.

It looks like all of the members have momentarily forgotten about the situation they walked into earlier as they follow directions from the main photographer. With caution I walk towards my sister and stylists, I wonder what they are going to say about my puffy eyes and red nose. When I make it to them, Natalie wraps around me like a small child burying her face into my shoulder. Back when she was a toddler this is how she would cling to me begging me not to go to school. I guess she’s taking the situation harder than I thought.

“Your sister really has an act for styling y/n. I might just have to steal her when she graduates from school.” The head stylist sounds serious as she watches my sister clings to me. My arm wraps around Natalie’s waist letting her get closer.

“I would hope so, she’s spent her whole life studying to be the best.” Thankfully my voice doesn’t crack and no one comments about my dazed appearance.

Someone shouts from across the set and all of the stylist hurry off in direction. I can tell that Natalie wants to follow them but she’s trying to make sure that I’m okay. Honestly I won’t be fine until after tonight when I have to spill everything to Jimin. Nothing can prepare me for that or get me into the right mind space either. It’s going to be a rushed conversation too.

“Go ahead, I’ll catch up with you at lunch okay.” Softly she nods before rushing off with the other stylists. Across the large room I can see manager Sejin talking with a few other men and they keep glancing over in my direction. I really hope I’m just being paranoid, because the last thing I need today is any more drama. Turning my attention to the members, I can’t help but smile at the quick change in character they do. One second they are all smiles and laughing then with the click of the camera they turn serious. I could learn a thing or two from them, hiding my emotions isn’t an easy thing for me. Oh… Maybe that’s why they are all having issues with each other, they are so used to hiding their own emotions for the sake of the others that none of them know that they are hurting. I’ll have to talk to Namjoon about it.

“Hello y/n. It’s good to see that you took my words last night to heart.” Sejin’s voice scares me and I jump slightly. Turning I quickly smile and try to play off the embarrassing reaction.

“It’s nice to be able to relax. How are you today Sejin-nim?”

“Sejin, please. There’s no need to be so formal, after all we are going to be seeing a lot of each other.”

That’s true, after this tour Sejin are going to be sick of each other. Even without me helping with translating, he and I will be working out their schedules for each performance.

“I’m sorry. Anyways thank you for inviting. This is really interesting to see.”

“Ah, about that... There’s a reason why we wanted you here, follow me.”

He gestures for me to follow him through the huge building. It feels like a maze as we walk past old music video sets and old photography equipment. The noise slowly fades away until it’s just Sejin and I’s footsteps that echo through the air. My heart beats a little faster and he leads me into a large room and my heart drops.

“This is the main stage for Idol. We were thinking this would be best for the dance scene at the end.” Wow…

They really built all of this for one video. Namjoon wasn’t kidding when he said they really don’t use a lot of CGI. Smiling, I walk out onto the floor and spin in a slow circle taking everything in. Looking back at Sejin I want to ask if I can run through the choreo. But before I can even open my mouth he’s nodding his head yes and my hands fumble to get the song ready. Placing my phone down on the floor between us both, I take a spot and wait for the right section.

My body goes on autopilot as I move in beat with the music, my mind finally clear of the toxic conversation from earlier. Whenever I dance, I feel the most free and happy. There’s nothing that could ever replace this feeling, this safety.

Once I end the sequence Sejin claps in admiration and I playfully bow. The laugh that escapes his lips lightens my mood. Smiling, I move back to rejoin him as he leads me to another set.

“This album is going to be one for the books.” I nod in agreement, staying silent as I take everything in. There’s so many ideas coming to me that I feel overwhelmed all over again but in a good way.  His voice sounds confident and I can see why. The sets that they’ve built for these videos are insane. How are they able to build these so quickly with so much detail?

“I just wanted to give you a sneak peak. Even the members haven’t seen it yet.”

“I’m surprised that Jungkook hasn’t snuck in here yet.” Covering my mouth, I look at him with wide eyes. I definitely didn’t mean to say that out loud. Heat rushes to my cheeks and I’m getting ready to apologize as Sejin just laughs again.

“It’s been a challenge since they know we do all of our shooting here. But anyways, let’s head back. I’m sure that they will realize we’ve gone missing if we don’t hurry and will come looking for us.”

Following his lead we make our way back, no one seemed to notice our absence. Sejin motions for us to sit in two empty seats not too far from the set. My body feels heavy as I finally relax into the chair. Resting my temple against my palm, I watch as they pose all of the members. Every once in awhile I catch a glimpse of Jimin looking in my direction. He seems to be back to normal for now but the same can’t be said for later on.

After lunch I decided to leave early, Sejin arranged for Natalie to get a ride back with the members. After all of the commotion and drama earlier I really just wanted to come back home, the inner introvert in me wanting nothing more than to just crawl under my blanket and sleep for the rest of the day. But unfortunately that’s not an option because I know well enough that once Jimin gets back into this building he will be knocking on my front door.

The part that really bothers me about that is in order to fill Jimin in on everything I will have to tell him details that I’ve hidden from Namjoon for years, not for the fact that I didn’t trust him but because I didn’t want to make his already crazy life crazier. The only person that knows the entire truth is Natalie and that was a complete struggle to say the least. I was scared to let someone, anyone know the full truth. Now I have to tell someone that I’ve just now start to get close to know my most guarded secrets and pain.

Groaning, I fall onto the couch with a loud thud. My chest hurts as I wrap a blanket around me tightly seeking comfort. Today was supposed to be a fun filled, exciting day but no my father managed to ruin it from halfway around the world. Nothing could make this worse.

In the background the tv hums with a random drama as I hide further into the blanket, my eyes grow heavier with each passing second and for a short time, I really feel like I’ll be able to sleep some of the day away.

My ears pick up on the front door opening and I groan loudly as I burrow into the blanket fully. Maybe if I act like I’m asleep then whoever it is will either leave me alone or go away. Please let that be the case.

“You know that won’t work a second time. But I won’t fight you, not after today. I’m going upstairs to hangout with Jungkook again. Jimin said he was going to change then come down. I’ll leave the door unlocked.” Natalie doesn’t even stop moving as she speaks, the further away she is the louder she gets. Popping my head out, my hair falls into my face and I struggle to clear my line of sight. Within a matter of seconds Natalie reappears in the living room in a pair of my leggings and an oversized shirt. Smirking I prop myself up on an elbow, so she’s finally showing her true self to her idols.

“Dad’s a dick, ignore everything he says and have a little faith in Namjoon Oppa. The last thing he would ever want is to hurt you.” There’s a sullen look on her face as she looks down at her screen. Rolling her eyes slightly, a fake smile overcomes her features as Natalie waves goodbye. Nikole must be texting her, whenever our father acts like this those two go at each other like dogs. I’ll never understand why but I don’t intervene anymore either because the last time I did we all three ended not talking for weeks.

Sitting up straight on the couch I fold my knees and tuck them against my chest as I look at the coffee table, a fog filling my mind. Today really had to be the day my father decided that he wanted to talk and make it known how he was feeling. But the worst part is I should’ve known that it was going to be that way. He’s always been very forward and open about his dislike with my career choices and where I was going in life. Back home, if you aren’t married by 25 and starting a family then you are a disgrace, an outcast. My father would rather me be miserable, married to a man I loath, and having babies like a bunny because that’s what women in my town do.

I’ve always been the outcast and that pissed him off more than anything. I couldn’t fit the mold of every other woman around me, my sisters have broken out of the spell too. The best thing I ever did was meet Namjoon and accept the opportunity to move so far away and start a new life where there aren’t crazy expectations for me.

The vibration from my phone scares me out of the fog as I fumble to unlock the device. A text appears on the screen and I feel my stomach drop to the floor.

Unknown: ‘Looks like I’ll be seeing my girl sooner than I thought.’

Tossing my phone to the floor, I roll my eyes at the nickname. Who the fuck does he think he is….Just as I’m about to let out the loudest, frustrated groan ever the front door starts to open and I opt with a silent flail of my limbs. Of course Jimin would walk in right at this exact moment.

Turning my head just enough to take in his appearance, he’s wearing black sweats and a black shirt, very relaxed but still oozing with confidence. I can’t help but swallow roughly as he sits next to me. Quickly he runs a hand through his locks, how many times can one person do the same movement in one day?

I tighten the blanket around me in an attempt to feel a little more secure, but it doesn’t work. Right now every part of me feels like jelly and my stomach churns with the thought of telling him everything. But I’ve already committed to telling Jimin the truth, there’s no backing out of this.

Sucking in a deep breath, I turn my body towards him with my left side leaning against the back cushion. Jimin takes the open opportunity to mirror my actions as we’re left staring each other down. There’s no reminisce of the makeup from earlier on his skin, his natural honey skin glows under the soft light of my living room and his eyes seem tense, focused on whatever is about to come.

“I’m sorry about earlier…” My voice fails me as I start to speak, my hands fidget between the edge of the blanket and the ring on my pointer finger. I can’t keep eye contact anymore as I look downward at anything besides him. How am I going to be able to so this? It’s not like the story is completely simple.

“I had to have Namjoon hyung help me understand what your father meant. I don’t understand how a father could talk to their daughter like he did.”

“It’s a complicated story Jimin.”

“And I have plenty of time. The only work I have tomorrow is with you.” Even though I’m not looking at him I can tell that there's a small smirk on his lips. Sighing I lift my head up just to rest it against the soft cushion. Jimin mirrors me yet again, locking our eye contact with no real way to escape. I guess it’s now or never.

“My mother passed away when I was five. She was the embodiment of motherly love and sunshine. I was always attached to her hip, following her around the house any and every second I could. Whenever my sisters were taking their naps we would sneak and sit out on the front porch to rock on the swing. My favorite days were when it rained, it was so peaceful. I think those were the only days of my life where I had no worries.” A soft smile forms on my lips as I can almost smell the scent of rain and in my head I can hear the soft groan of the chains supporting the swing. Mom used to get upset whenever I would swing too fast, saying that the chain just might break from my roughhousing. But I would just give her a bright smile and the look on her face would disappear into a mirroring smile.

“But after she had Natalie, my mom started having health complications. To this day I still don’t know what happened but within a few months she passed away. My dad would act like everything was okay during the day but at night I could hear him crying downstairs in the living room ...” Sniffling as I feel a few tears start to form, I wipe them away before they could fall. My heart tightens when I look down at anything but the man before me, too many emotions running through my body.  

“For a while everything seemed to work, my dad acted like my dad. He took us to dance practice, recitals, soccer games. Even though our mother was gone, dad seemed to be handling everything. Sure there were times when it was harder than others but he was our dad, someone we could go to for anything. Until he met his current wife.” Looking through my lashes I see that Jimin is hanging onto every word, his fingers messing with the cuff of his shirt. I wonder what he’s going to say after everything is out in the open, every invisible scar reopened and laid out before him.

“She was nice at first… until she got her claws into my father. When I went into middle school is when they got married and it was like flipping a switch. My dad stopped doing everything that he was doing for us and solely focused on Karen. Anything she wanted, she got.” Furrowing my brows in annoyance I can’t help but scowl. That woman has been nothing but a nuisance since the day they said I do.

“But what really forced a wedge between us was when my father told me that I was going to have to give up dancing. That no daughter of his was going to waste their life doing something as childish as dancing. I called my grandmother that night and moved. Ever since then he’s treated me like how you heard today, the only reason it’s worse is because of my ex boyfriend.” Jimin remains quiet as I squirm on the couch, for some reason bringing up Robert makes my fight or flight instinct engage and all I want now is to run. Taking in a deep breath, I sighed heavily before restarting the story.

“Robert is someone that I dated from the time I was in high school until a year ago. At first he was the perfect boy to bring home to the family, respectful, sweet, and a gentleman. The older we got, the more our differences began to show. He stopped showing up to my dance competitions and started to hang around my father and his friends. For some reason those two are glued at the hip, even to this day.” I always found it strange how my father treated Robert like he was his own flesh and blood while he treated me like the garbage on the side of the street. Any time those two got together they’d spend hours going on and on about anything and everything. Some nights all they would do is bash my dancing, my intelligence, my passions, those were the nights where I would leave Robert without a warning and go dance for hours.

“The first time Namjoon mentioned working for BigHit, Robert got really angry. I mean really angry. He said that he wasn’t going to let me move halfway around the world to work with a bunch of boys. That no woman of his was going to leave him. He treated me like a piece of property. At first he had made it seem like I wasn’t good enough to accept, and being insecure and naive I believed him.” He always had a way of manipulating me into believing everything he said. I really was a fool back then. Looking directly at Jimin, my heart pounds in my chest. His eyes are wide and his mouth slightly hangs open...fuck...I just mentioned the first offer.

“You’ve known Namjoon hyung longer than you told us.” Nodding slowly, I can see that he wants to ask exactly how long. Might as well come clean about that too now.

“Since the first performance in L.A. We’ve been in constant contact since then. But I’m the one that wanted to keep that a secret from everyone. Please Jimin, don’t mention it in front of others.”

“It makes sense now. Those pictures and the way you two stand away from everyone else while you whisper in secret. You could’ve just told us. No one would think any less of you, you’re great at what you do.” Jimin’s compliment makes my stomach flutter and my heart skip a beat. Someone as talented as Jimin just complimented my dancing. If I weren’t in the middle of my backstory I might consider hugging him.

“Yeah...we agreed to leave out the past that way you all didn’t think I wiggled my way into the company.”

“None of us would’ve thought that. But continue your story please.” There’s a strain in his voice that concerns me. What could he possibly think of all of this?

“After I rejected the first offer, I started working more and working on honing my skills. I spent twice as many hours in the studio and less at home, barely seeing my friends and Robert. Turns out he didn’t like that too much…” Fuck, this is harder than I thought. How would’ve known that retelling every detail would be this hard. Jimin pants my knee lightly with an understanding look on his face.

“We got into a huge fight, nothing physical more emotional and mental. I was so angry and hurt that I wasn’t watching where I was going and I ended up tripping down the front steps. My ankle broke, which meant I couldn’t dance for a while. During that time I talked with Namjoon less than I had liked because I was focused on doing what was best for me. I ended up ending things with Robert. Ever since then he’s done everything he can to try and squirm his way back into my life.”

Which is why it doesn’t surprise me that my father is bringing him along to the concert. He’d do anything to push the two of us back together. But there’s nothing on this planet that would make that happen.

Jimin and I sit in silence a little longer than I would like, his hand still resting against the blanket covered knee. Every once in awhile his thumb moves against the fabric in a comforting way.

“I really hope that Namjoon hyung has a plan when it comes to them coming backstage. Because in all honesty I don’t plan on being too welcoming.” The words are heavy and filled with a calm rage. It’s a side of Jimin I’ve never seen before, a side that I never want to be on.

“Namjoon doesn’t do something without thinking everything through, plus we have plenty of time before then.” Thank god...if it were any earlier I’d lose my mind and sanity all at once.

“I’m glad that you accepted BigHit’s offer. Even though we had our differences, I feel like you were meant to be here with us. In the short amount of time that you’ve been here, you’ve managed to build a connection with all of us. Not a lot of our staff have been able to do that.” That doesn’t come as a shock to me, after all the boys are practically brothers at this point. Letting an insider join their group refiners a lot of trust on both sides. The fact that they enjoy my company that much makes my body feel warm with joy.

“I’m glad I did too. Honestly, it still feels like a dream to me. To be working with people that I looked up to for so long.” Stopping my train of thought I can feel my cheeks start to heat up from the confession. A soft giggle escapes from his lips as he rests further back into the couch followed by an almost inaudible sigh. His hand retracts from my knee and I follow suit, leaning against the couch fully and looking up to the white ceiling.

“Your phone is buzzing.” Jimin sounds groggy as he moves to pick up my phone from the ground. Turning my head to the side I take in his side profile, my stomach does a flip. Every day I’m around him my kindling of a crush comes back. I shouldn’t be having these feelings but yet here I am.

Jimin turns to me with a confused look, I can’t help but to mirror his as I take the phone. The unknown number from earlier is calling. No, I’m not doing this. I’m not dealing with him.

Reaching for my phone, I ignore the call and turn off my phone completely. Tossing the device across the couch I return to my earlier relaxed position with a huff. Well I should’ve known that was going to happen.

“I can’t believe I let someone like him manipulate me. If I could see my younger self I’d smack her upside the head.” I can’t hold back the small snort that bubbles in my throat. In all truth I never knew that I was that naive when I was younger. Looking back now, knowing what I know, I should’ve seen the signs when he and I first started dating. Every single thing that I did that made me seem ‘not normal’ or ‘different’ he hated and persuaded me to change. There were only a few things that he couldn’t take from me: my sisters, dancing, and music. For a short while I had to hide talking to Namjoon for a while, one night he got really angry after reading through my texts and not being able to understand them. That’s when I started to ignore the demands that came from him.

“Looks like you’ve learned to stand your ground.” Humming a response I close my eyes and sink further into the couch. His hand rests against mine, our pinkies touching slightly. A chill runs through my spine as my heart pounds against my chest. The room around us gets quieter and my mind starts to fuzz up, the exhaustion from the day catching up to me quickly. It must’ve already caught up with Jimin because I can hear his breathing has leveled out and calmed. I know that I should wake him up and tell him to head upstairs, but at the same time I know that he needs the rest more than anything. A quick power nap couldn’t hurt either of us…. Right….