#the song is sooooo good n makes me feel things

[atlabeth]

she's like the wind

knight!luke masterlist

pairing: knight!luke castellan x princess!reader

summary: you and luke get a reality check.

a/n: ive been on the hurricane train lately but knight!luke still has me in a chokehold lol so here's a lil blurb for you all! based off of this request; title from the patrick swayze song bc are you kidding me "just a fool to believe i am anything she needs" UGH you're everything she needs it's just that neither of you know it yet

wc: 1.8k

warning(s): angst lol! discussions of arranged marriages, luke is sad, princess is sad and a little mean bc she goes into princess mode, they both place their duty above their feelings </3

okay sooooo

last time we left off you and Luke had a nice lil moonlight dance in your room after you both had to get through a ball 

and things have been pretty good since then! nothing is awkward between the two of you (sometimes being oblivious towards the depth of your feelings is a good thing) and you’re back to joking around w each other all the time

but you’re the princess and things can never be easy for you. Your whole day (and not to be dramatic but basically your whole life) is ruined by a private meeting with your parents. 

It’s marriage. obviously it’s marriage. 

Your kingdom needs allies at a moment like this and marriage is the easiest way to do it so. like. the sooner the better princess!!! 

and like you KNEW it was coming. You knew there was really no way to avoid it. that doesn’t mean you naively hoped you could. 

But it’s one thing for a prince to court you at a ball for the night and forget him as soon as you get home. 

It’s another thing entirely for that prince and his parents to visit your kingdom and stay for a week. which is exactly what’s going to happen. 

During that meeting, your parents tell you that the prince of the kingdom that held the last ball (the one that both sets of parents want you to marry, the one that gave you a tour, the one that is the most boring man alive) and his parents will be staying in the castle

And while your parents will be talking with his, trying to secure an alliance for any kind of protection, they’ve encouraged you to spend time with him, make him feel welcome, forge a bond, make him like you. 

“Why?” you ask. You know the answer, you know what they’re implying, but you want them to say it out loud. You want them to resign you to this fate themselves. 

“Because if all goes well, he will be courting you within the month,” your father says, and yeah, it does make you feel worse now that he’s blatantly said it. you didn’t really know what your plan was there. 

“It is the best decision for all of us, darling,” your mother says. 

You fight them over it. obviously. but it’s no good, and you leave the room absolutely fuming. 

Thankfully, Luke is busy training, because you don’t think that you could explain this to him right now. 

But you don’t tell him even when he later accompanies you to the library. Or when he asks you how your day went. Or when he asks in five different ways if you’re okay. 

Luke knows something is off almost immediately when he meets up with you again because 1. he knows you. 2. you won’t look him in the eye 3. HE KNOWS YOU BFFR

but he doesn’t push it, and you’re eternally thankful. 

Why, you may ask? Because you don’t want to talk to Luke about this kind of thing. 

Why, you may ask again? Because you’re in love with him and don’t know it yet. 

But because you don’t know it yet, you just feel weird talking about stuff like that with him. Even thinking about it around him. It was bad enough when Luke had to accompany you and the prince around the past week—you can’t imagine Luke being around when you’re trying to charm this guy. 

He’s going to find out eventually, namely when said prince arrives in the castle, but you just can not bring yourself to tell him. 

Thankfully, you don’t have to! Because he’s one of the kingsguard and one of the first things they do that next morning is discuss security for the incoming royal family. And even though Luke figures it all out pretty quickly, he figures it out even quicker with the immediate gossip through the servants and maids. 

And listen. 

He knows his place. He knows he’s a knight, he knows he’s your knight, and he knows that his duty is to keep you safe no matter what. He knows just as well as you do that you would be married off eventually, but just like you, he chose to naively ignore that fact for as long as he can. 

And it’s not just you that he has a promise to—when he asked your father to let him be your personal guard, he swore himself to your protection and to stay away from you in that regard. Luke lied and said he would never think of it, but he’s had a thing for you since you were kids. 

Luke guesses he thought he would get over it as he grew, but he’s only fallen harder for you with the years. He’s got himself stuck between a rock and a hard place and he’s got no one to blame but himself. 

But he feels like his teeth are going to crack with how hard he clenches his jaw during the entire meeting. It was difficult enough maintaining his front while the prince showed you around the castle—Luke doesn’t know how he’s going to survive your parents’ most open attempt at arranging marriage thus far. 

At least he has a reason to go see you right after. He is your guard, after all. 

The bigger problem is the correct timing. Luke can tell that you’re upset the instant he’s in your proximity, and he doesn’t want to upset you further in his quest for answers. 

But near the end of the day, when he’s escorted you back to your room after dinner and you’re beginning to take off your jewelry, he finally speaks up. 

“Princess,” Luke said, standing in the doorway, “may I have a word?” 

Your body tensed and your hands stopped on the clasp of a bracelet. You knew what was coming, but you nodded nonetheless. You didn’t know if you would be able to speak with the dryness of your throat. 

You heard the door close behind you, and you busied yourself taking off the rest of your jewelry as Luke began. 

“I’ve heard the royal family of Birchmund is visiting,” he said. 

You wet your lips and swallowed, trying to alleviate the cotton in your mouth. “You’re correct.” 

“And I’ve heard… other things,” he continued. “Of their prince. And you.” 

You closed your jewelry box with a bit too much force. “The decision of my parents.” 

“I figured.” Luke cleared his throat, and you still couldn’t stand to look at him. “What… what is going to happen?” 

“Luke,” you started, “I don’t want to talk about this with you.” 

“Please, princess,” he said. “I… merely want to know what to expect. If you are to be accompanying him most of the week, I’ll have to adjust my own schedule.” 

You bit down hard on the inside of your cheek, steeling yourself before you finally turned around to face him. “My parents want me to get him on our side, Luke. It will be easier to forge an alliance if we have a good relationship, and it will be easier to—” You paused, closing your eyes for a moment before you finished. “To negotiate a marriage if he already likes me.” 

And Luke just stared at you. You didn’t know what he wanted from you, why he wanted to hear you say it. Probably the same reason you wanted to hear your parents say it—to know it was truly real. 

“You don’t want this,” Luke said. His voice was quieter, but his posture hadn’t changed. Always a knight. 

“What I want doesn’t matter,” you said. 

“You’re a person too,” he insisted. “You deserve to go after what you want.” 

“I am a princess before I am a person.” You turned back around and started removing your jewelry again—you needed something to focus on. “I want what is necessary for my kingdom.” 

“Princess.” Luke sounded a little desperate, now. “This— it’s so formal. This isn’t how we talk to each other. We’re friends above everything.” 

Your skin burned where his fingers brushed over your neck, where he held you while you danced. Luke was your closest friend, but— but you couldn’t. You couldn’t have him so close and yearn for so much that you can never have, while the prince you might have to marry stood on your other side. 

“Maybe my priorities have been wrong.” You planted your hands on your vanity to prevent them from shaking. “What I want doesn’t matter. If I can prevent a war by offering my hand, it is my duty to do so.” 

“We…” you swallowed the lump in your throat and shook your head. “We cannot keep doing this. It would be an embarrassment to any prince for his betrothed to be so attached to her knight.” 

“We’re friends,” Luke insisted. “We always have been. No prince that desires your hand could understand even the slightest bit of what we’ve been through together.” 

“No,” you agreed. “But that means little in the scheme of everything else.” 

Luke’s jaw clenched ever so slightly. “This can’t possibly make you happy.” 

“What I want doesn’t matter,” you repeated, stronger this time. “This kingdom matters more than— than my childish desires. They depend on us for their protection, and I owe it to each and every one of my people to do all I can to ensure that protection.” 

“Princess—” Luke started, because you both knew what you were referring to, but you held up a hand and it stopped him in his tracks. 

“You are my knight,” you said. “And I am your princess. Eventually, I will be queen. My parents have told me I need to look to the future, to stop with silly trifles before they become more.” 

“It’s more than that,” he said quietly. “You’re my best friend. You’re the reason I’m standing here today.” 

“You act as if your duty is to die for me,” you continued. “But your duty is to keep me safe. And this is how I stay safe—by following the word of my parents and securing it myself.” 

“So this is your solution,” Luke attempted. “To try and ruin our friendship in the name of a marriage you don’t want.” 

“You may retire for the night, Sir Castellan,” you said, and your words rang hollow. “I’d like to be alone.” 

He stared at you, dark eyes indecipherable, but he nodded and moved to the door. Before he shut it, his gaze met yours again. 

“You may not care about what you want,” Luke said quietly. “But I do. And my loyalty is to you, princess. Not your parents. And certainly no prince.” 

Then he bowed, and he closed the door quietly behind him. 

but that night, when you settle into your silken sheets and luke takes his place in the barracks, you think of each other as you fall asleep and you dream of each other once you are.

the ties between you are not so easily broken. 

[bigtreefest]

Chapter 7: Then Again

From: Bigger Houses Series

Pairing: Mountain Ranger! Ari x Reader

Summary: Everyone’s got regrets they might wish to go back and change, but then again, you would have never gotten here

Word Count: 3,304

Content/Warnings: MINORS DNI, 18+ ONLY, SMUT, honest conversations, hiking, cuddling, soft intimate shower, oral sex (f receiving), p in v protected sex, lotsa kissing, praise and lowkey size kink, swears

Author’s Note: O. M. G. This is the first time I’ve written smut, so I wanted to make it super soft and loving like I feel really pairs for this couple. Nine months into the relationship, wowza. Talk about true love, somebody pls find me a bear of a man like this.

Likes, comments, reblogs, and asks are sooooo welcome and appreciated!!

Dividers by @animatedglittergraphics-n-more

Below is the song which inspired this chapter. It’s my favorite on the entire album. It just kinda puts warmth and longing into my chest, so I hope the vibe matches what I’ve written.

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“Yes Mom, I promise I’ll be safe.” You looked into the camera of your phone as your mom looked right back at you.

“As long as you promise. I don’t want you eaten by a bear, but apparently you’ve got your own bear of a boyfriend to ward them off.” You laughed along with her own chuckle at that joke.

“Yes, Ari knows these woods well. I have no doubt he’s taking us on a good and safe route.” Your head turned away from the phone at a knock at the door.

“That’s probably him now.”

It was Sunday morning and Ari had asked you on a nice hike with him. The weather was set to be sunny, yet brisk, perfect for a rigorous walk through the mountains.

You opened the door and Ari greeted you with a kiss on the top of your head. “Morning, Duchess.”

He turned to see you were on the phone. “Oh, good morning Mrs.—“

“Ari, please. Call me mom. How many times do I have to tell you?” You both smiled and blushed at that as Ari went into your kitchen and dropped off his things. You sat on the couch, continuing your phone call.

“I knew there was something about that boy the first time I saw him. I’m so glad the two of you are so happy together. I can’t wait to come visit and officially meet him in person soon.” Ari had spoken to your mom on several occasions over FaceTime now, each time garnering more of her respect and adoration, which was rare for her. She always had sky high expectations, and you were her daughter after all, but she didn’t want you to have to face the same struggles she did, both career and romance-wise.

You rolled your eyes, thinking she wouldn’t catch it, but of course she did. “Don’t roll your eyes at me, young lady. You know I’m right. I’ll let you go have fun on your date, though. I love you!”

You smiled back. “Love you, too, Mom.”

Once the call ended, you walked over to Ari, watching him bent over and looking through your fridge. You just couldn’t resist the urge to smack the plump, ripe piece of ass in joggers before you. Just as you were winding up, a large hand went and covered both cheeks.

“I know what you’re, thinking, Angel. You’re not gonna get me this time.” He rose from his hunched position, and towered over you, eyes glinting with mischief, pairing with the sly grin on his face. Before you knew it, Ari had scooped you up and plopped you back on the couch, peppering your face with kisses and tickling your sides. You were helpless, kicking your legs from under his body, doing your best to fight off the attack.

“Ari, quit it! I give, I give, you win!” You squealed through your giggle.

Ari’s hands and lips stopped their assault, but he didn’t pull away, instead, leaning in and putting a fat kiss on your lips. “Get on your hiking boots! We’ve gotta go before it gets hot.”

You nodded and looked up at him through your eyelashes. “Help me tie them?”

Ari’s head drooped down as he sighed and grabbed your boots off the floor. He could never say no to that look. He kissed each shin as he slid the boots onto your feet. “Anything for you, Duchess.”

You helped by tying one of the shoes as Ari tied the other. He was just such an expert, having to do this everyday for however many years now. Looking at the single knot you had made on your right shoe, he untied it and pulled the laces tight, making his own double knot in its place.

“You’re so much better at that than me.” You huffed. He laughed back, kissing the wrinkle away from your forehead that showed up when you were frustrated.

“Nonsense. You’re great at it. I just like ‘em extra secure.” He grabbed your hand and helped to lift you off the couch, the two of you putting on your hiking backpacks and heading out the door, ready for the trail.

Your hike was filled with amazing views and sightings of so much wildlife. You truly loved seeing Ari in his element, as well. He constantly checked on you as he led you through the winding trails, pointing out his favorite spots and, of course, stopping for snacks and photo ops.

He could tell when the exhaustion was starting to creep in, but luckily by that point, the two of you were nearly home.

As you came back, Ari started on heating up the leftovers from dinner the night before. You went out to your back porch which overlooked the rolling landscape, rich with colors of green and rocky gray, mountains graced with snow caps when you looked up at the peaks surrounding you.

Ari came out carrying two warm plates of Thai food from the good place in town and you snuggled up on the couch of your patio furniture and ate together.

He grabbed your plates and set them aside, as the two of you chatted, the sun casting a warm glow over the landscape. Ari pulled you close so your back was against his chest, his strong arms tight around your waist. He wiggled to scoot until his back was up against the arm rest, finally placing his head on your shoulder as the two of you settled.

Ari kissed your neck, his beard lightly scratching the sensitive skin, as you sat there pensively. “Ari, do you ever wish you could go back and change things? Go back to a time that was simpler, where you didn’t know what it was like to live through so many hardships? Do it all differently?” You felt his chest heave with a sigh and he exhaled out of his nose, the warm air hitting your collar bone.

Ari let the question hang in the air for a moment, thinking over everything in his life while he formulated an answer. “If I could go back, I probably would’ve held onto my old Bronco. It used to be my grandpa’s, and it was getting old, so I traded it in for the truck. I probably would’ve visited him down in Atlanta a little more, too, before he passed.”

You nodded as he hummed, thinking of more things. “I probably would’ve stuck around for graduation, finished my degree so I could become rich.”

You giggled as his chest rumbled behind you. “I’d probably apologize to Savannah for wasting her time, would’ve hung out and vacationed with my childhood friends a little more….”

“Had a little more patience, or sent a few more prayers to heaven, but I don’t know if that all was really in the cards. If it were up to me, who knows where I’d be? I look back at all of that. The heartbreaks, the hard goodbyes, they led me here.”

You turned to look up at him, his gaze distant in thought before he looked down at you. “If it was all different, though, I wouldn’t be sitting here with my whole world in my arms, stealing kisses on a Sunday afternoon. Sure, there are a few things that I might’ve changed if God put me in charge, but then again, I would have never met you.”

Tears began to well up in your eyes at his words. “Why? Is there anything you regret?”

You laughed and sniffled as you shook your head. “No. Not at all.” He used his thumb to wipe the tears falling down your cheeks.

“I feel really dumb right now. I was gonna say something stupid like buying bitcoin to be rich. Or like, maybe just not date at all until I found you. But you make a great point. I wouldn’t have come up here if it weren’t for all that. I think I love you too much to regret anything that led me here. Anything that I thought was a wrong turn definitely turned out right.”

He shook his head, laughing along with you, kissing away the rest of your tears. “Trust me, I love you more.”

The two of you sat there, basking in each other’s presence, before you began to become overly aware of the dried dirt and sweat that sat on your skin.

“I, um…. I think I’m gonna go take a shower. Get the outdoors off of me.” Ari nodded and helped you up off his lap, preparing to head home and do the same when you lingered before heading inside.

“Do you want to….join…me?” Ari sprung up out of his chair, head nodding vigorously. He grabbed the plates off the table and ran to drop them in the sink. He watched as you sauntered, hips swaying while you discarded pieces of clothing, one by one, completely naked before reaching the barn door that closed off the master bathroom from your bedroom.

Ari shimmied down his pants with much less grace, shucking off his shirt and socks, before joining you in the steamy room. He watched in awe as you stepped into the water and it ran down the curves of your body. Ari reached his hand under the stream and immediately retracted at the sting of the heat.

“God, Duchess. I love you, but I don’t think I could stand it if the lava you’re standing under burns my skin off before I even get to touch you.”

You laughed and rolled your eyes. “Bear, it’s not that bad.”

You begrudgingly turned down the temperature as Ari joined you. This wasn’t the first time you and Ari had done anything, but it was the first time you had seen each other fully naked all at once, since you hadn’t fully had sex yet.

You turned around as Ari grabbed your shampoo, gently rubbing it into your scalp. You moaned in satisfaction at the feeling of his fingertips massaging your head, basking in the intimacy and ecstasy of the moment.

“Angel, if you keep making noises like that, I don’t think we’ll ever get clean.” You laughed as you leaned back to wash the shampoo out of your hair.

Ari leaned under the stream with you to wet his hair. You squeezed the shampoo into your hand and began to massage it into his scalp, scratching your nails through his hair just the way he liked.

“Oh, fuck Angel, that’s good.” You giggled, hitting him in the chest.

“If I’ve gotta stop, so do you, mister.”

The two of you continued to wash each other, sharing kisses and feather light touches here and there before getting out and drying off.

Once you had brushed out your hair and Ari’s, the two of you made your way to your bed, sheets freshly washed just the day before. You had your towel wrapped around your body while Ari’s hung low on his waist. Ari held your hips, looking into your eyes, as you slowly backed up until your knees gave out from hitting against the bed.

Ari moved to crawl over you, his towel coming undone as he did so. Your eyes trailed down his firm chest, to his chiseled abs, until you could see how hard he was. You moaned at the sight, watching how his dick twitched in response.

His eyes stayed locked with yours until he leaned down and kissed you, trailing away from your lips and down your neck before retracing the path with his tongue.

You shuffled under him, removing your towel and discarding it on the floor with his, adjusting yourself so your head laid against the pillows. He kissed you again, deeply, passionately, before smiling and pulling away.

“I love you. I’d never change anything about my life unless it meant I could have met you sooner just to love you that much longer.”

You could feel his heavy cock tap against your leg as he kissed down your chest, eyes never leaving yours. You watched intently, lips parted in a light gasp as he finally reached where you were yearning for his touch.

Ari’s biceps bulged when he pulled your legs apart, placing a gentle kiss on your clit. Your breath shuddered at the sensation.

“Is this okay, Angel?” You nodded and whispered back.

“Yes, please. Please keep going.”

Ari’s tongue darted out of his mouth licking a stripe up your slit. Your back bowed as he dove in, licking and sucking. You knew he called you Angel, but his tongue was heavenly.

You let out a high-pitched moan, entangling your fingers through the wet strands of Ari’s hair, using the leverage to grind against his face. He inserted a finger into you, pumping it and curling it against your spot just right. You felt your legs began to shake, but pushed Ari’s head away before you could reach your peak.

“Wait, hold on.” You spoke while still trying to catch your breath. He looked up at you in bewilderment, beard glistening with your arousal.

“What’s wrong, Duchess? Did I do something?” You shook your head, still gasping for air.

“No, no. It was so good, I just, uh…..I want you to be inside me when I come.” Ari nodded, coming back up your body to kiss you.

“Okay.” He whispered back, a soft smile on his face. “Gimme a sec.”

He ran over to his discarded joggers and fished in the pocket to find his wallet where he pulled out a condom. He returned to you in bed, taking his spot between your legs again, and rolled it on. You knew he was huge, and you’d only taken two of his fingers before, but you couldn’t help the anticipation to feel all of him.

“I’m gonna open you up first, okay Angel?”

You nodded and immediately threw your head back as Ari scissored two of his long fingers against your walls, preparing you and stretching you out for what was to come. You wailed when he added a third and Ari swore he had never heard or seen something so beautiful before. The movie that was you feeling this level of bliss from him made him feel warmth and pride through his chest. He needed to be inside you.

Ari pulled out his fingers, swirling his tongue around them and sucking them clean, moaning at the sweet taste. His eyes rolled back and he nearly came from the culmination of partaking in your pleasure up to that point. You couldn’t help but clench against nothing, watching the specks of lust within the love in his gaze after that as he leaned down and framed your face with his large hands. He leaned in to kiss you, then pulled away as his dark blue irises, thin around his blown pupils, shifted between your eyes.

“Are you ready? Are you sure?” It came out breathy and strained. He wanted this as badly as you, after taking everything step by painfully slow step for nine months together.

“Yes, Ari. Please. I just want to feel you so close.”

He nodded and ran the head of his cock

up and down your folds, gathering your arousal before perching at your entrance. He kept one hand at his base, the other on your cheek as he looked deeply into your eyes. You felt the bulbous tip breach your entrance, almost with a pop as your tight warmth welcomed Ari.

“Ah, oh, Angel, you’re so tight.” Ari nearly yelped at the feeling of being inside you. You watched as he couldn’t help but let his eyes flutter closed from the overwhelming pleasure. “I’ll take it slow, promise.”

All Ari wanted was for you to enjoy this as much as him, and when he was able to pry his eyes open to see the way your face was contorted, your eyes as sincere and pleading as his, he knew you were. He slowly pushed in further, accompanied by a deep moan from you. Neither of you were virgins by any means, but something about this moment with Ari felt like being born again, straight into delectation.

He pushed another inch in, slowly, and your hands flew to his broad back, nails digging in the muscles that firmly blanketed his scapulas. His hips jumped at the sting, pushing him in to the hilt, causing you both to brace against each other at the fullness and all encompassing warmth.

His head dipped into crook of your neck, breath fanning your collar bone and beard sending tingles through your body as he sucked on the spot that gave you chills.

Your hands ran down his back and to his ass, pulling him in closer to you, if that was even possible.

“Ari, I need you to move.” You felt him nod against you and his hips pulled out only a few inches before rolling back in.

You breathy moans were close to his ear, spurring him on to keep going faster, pulling out farther and pushing in deeper until the warmth from your core began to climb up your body again. He found a rhythm and could feel as your pussy began to clench.

“Duchess, I can feel you’re close. It feels so good. You’re always so good to me.” His praise pulled you that much closer to the edge, hands grasping for purchase across his back, slipping slightly from the thin layer of sweat.

“Fuck, Angel. So tight. It’s okay, you can let go. Let go for me.” Ari needed you to come for him. He needed to feel your body sucking him in, holding him tighter. He pulled his head from your neck to look into your eyes when it happened. He moved his thumb down to your clit, rubbing tight circles and sending you over the cliff you were hanging on.

“Oh god, Ari!” You keened, your ankles locking around his narrow hips as your entire body contracted in ecstasy. Ari wasn’t far behind, the tightness surrounding him causing him to drive his hips all the way forward and spill into the condom. He collapsed over your chest again as he grunted lowly into your ear.

The two of you stayed there for a few minutes as you caught your breaths. He pulled back, his now dry hair draping over the sides of his face and framing yours, making a small world where it was only the two of you. His silky brown locks blocked everything else out. The only thing in existence was your shared gaze, filled with hazy satisfaction and dopey smiles.

Ari leaned down and kissed your lips, and then your forehead before he whispered to you. “I’m going to pull out, okay? You stay here while I go get a washcloth.”

You nodded and gasped as you felt the sensation of the ridges of his dick passing against your walls until you were empty. On instinct you rolled over to your side and closed your legs, still sporadically convulsing from the orgasm. Ari returned and cleaned you up, pulling up the covers and crawling into bed behind you, wrapping his strong arms around you and pulling you closer.

He kissed you shoulder and muttered. “I’m so happy to have you. I love you so much.”

You turned over and tangled your legs with his, pulling him in for a lazy, filthy kiss. “I love you, and I’m the luckiest person in the world. Or more like, my whole world was just in me.”

You winked at Ari as his shoulders bounced in laughter at your ridiculous statement. You were drunk in happiness, but neither of you would have it any other way. You slung your arm around his waist and nestled deeply into his chest, a satisfied smile on your face.

Next >

Bonus A/N: as Paris Hilton says, “that’s hot”

Series Taglist:

@patzammit

@hawkeyes-queen

@identity2212

[won4kiss]

၄.၃ ݁ ˖ִ ࣪₊ ⊹˚ songs that remind me of enha (hl) ˖ִ ࣪₊ 

lee heeseung, park jongseong, jake sim, park sunghoon <3

warnings ˖ִ ࣪₊ me. I am the warning. I wrote this at 2am and had major brainrot, I got very emotional, (again everything im saying is a joke) not edited.

pls don’t take this seriously, it’s very random:c

(anything I say, is not irl or true at all and is just all jokes!! also ik the cover is different from my usual ones, I got lazy and I couldn’t find anything with the hyung line 😞, enjoy 🫶🫶)

(a/n) here’s something short and stupid until I finish my next heeseung fic🤗🤗 also short little beomgyu fic coming vv soon!!

lee heeseung

sweet night , v

baby come home 2 / valentines , the neighbourhood

hidden love ost ( forever star ) - zhang yihao

^ I strongly recommend watching hidden love and adding this ost to ur playlist!! so cute :c

˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

- when I think of heeseung, I get major angsty vibes like it’s genuinely a me problem. IDK WHY☹️☹️

- when I think of hee in a trope, I think a miscommunication type-thing, right person nd wrong time.

- I think it’s bc I’ve read sooooo many angsty things abt this man LIKE I LITERALLY REMEMBER A WATTPAD STORY I READ IN 2021. It was like the girl was suicid@l and hee was like “give me a month to make u wanna live” it was CRAZYYY. neways.

- BUT ALSO… *spoiler for my one of my ideas for a heeseung fic>> he gives me older brothers best friend trope vibes, like i recently rewatched the cdrama hidden love and he would be such a perfect duan jiaxu!! the vibes are there‼️

- im so sorry heeseung i luv u so so so much this isn’t personal :c </3

park jongseong

love on the brain , rihanna

my kind of woman , mac demarco

˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

- AAAAAAA JAYYYYYYY

- jay gives me like home vibes. Idk if that makes sense. pls bare with me.

- I feel like he would be like rich ceo kdrama man who falls in love with his secretary type trope☠️ the ceo vibes go HARD

- like when I see him, I genuinely feel comfort.

- he reminds me of like- anything romantic in the world, it’s giving husband material, gentleman (all of them r gentlemen but jay is oozing gentleman)

- it’s like when I see jay, I just feel warm😞

- (example; holding a cup of hot chocolate on a snowy winter day) yes I gave in example. this is jay.

jake sim (be prepared)

style , ts

labyrinth , ts

call it what you want , ts

little freak , harry styles

nobody gets me , sza

i.f.l.y , bazzi

˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

- lolz guess who my bias is🥲⁉️

- I warned u guys!!!

- I could genuinely talk abt this man for hours.

- my man my man my man my man my man my man my man. HE IS SOOO LOVER BOY MATERIAL LIKE I CANNOT FORM WORDS. like cmon guys yk i had to put ts on here. HE IS HUSBAND MATERIAL, BF MATERIAL, EVERYTHING MATERIAL.

- literally jake fits any trope, this man is so perfect.

- childhood best friends to lovers with jake is absolutely amazing and magical and it hits EVERY SINGLE TIME.

- he gives me childhood best friends 2 luvrs vibes bc he’s just so like… idk the word but this man is my everything.

- he is literally the lyrics, labyrinth is so him, call it what you want IS HIM, style is literally made about him⁉️little freak is what i feel about him (like the song is so good it gives u a rlly emotional feeling where u wanna sob) and nobody gets me….. yes that was personal.

(i sincerely apologize for this mess, I couldn’t hold myself back☹️)

park sunghoon

ocean eyes , billie eilish

cars outside , james arthur

line without a hook , ricky montgomery

consume , chase atlantic

˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

- sunghoon…😞

- he reminds me of a first love.

- he just gives me such sentimental bittersweet vibes when it comes to this stuff.

- im struggling to find words rn bc suddenly im emotional thinking about sunghoon. he’s giving me I want u but I can’t have u vibes (help me)

- he ALSO gives me very rich ceo vibes, and the amount of rich ceo fics about sunghoon i see tells me ppl agree🔥🔥

- I also added consume bc he also gives like supernatural fic vibes (he’d be a rlly hot vampire or demon someone pls make one and send it to me🤗) and that song just fits the trope SO WELL.

- he’s so quiet and shy and looks like a sad man, and trust me I do not mean this in a way where im saying he’s depressed (yk the sexy sad men in movies?)

-sunghoon deserves sm and more, he’s such a gentle soul he reminds me of a bubble bath (idk what im saying anymore it’s 2am)

- he’s so cute. he’s my everything. he’s mine.

(sorry this is actual brain rot atp🤗)

- ok im done this made me sad i luv them all sm

MAKNAE LINE NEXT ORRR???

@won4kiss

[joesheistyy]

Driving in his Benz - Joe Burrow

I've never been a taylor swift girlie but midnights is iconic and I was inspired by vigilante shit sooooo here you go :) more angst? yes please! ending in some fluff? count me in!

2.2k words || cussing || some harsh grabbing

-------

Of course your evening was spent bickering with Joe. This was the second night in a row you two just couldn’t get on the same page about a handful of things. Once again going to bed angry with each other, backs facing each other.

In your late high school days, the way you’d cool down from heightened emotions was by going for a drive. Could you do this in Cincinnati? Sure, but it wasn’t as soothing as driving back roads in southern Indiana. It was definitely much preferred to do during the day. As you fell asleep, you made a plan to get up and just drive to get your head on straight when you awoke. 

When you woke up, you did not have the energy to deal with Joe. Needing to be caffeinated before any hard thoughts came to mind, you decided to go to Panera to grab a coffee and a charged tea. Of course those drinks would be spaced out throughout the day, you just needed an out for the morning. This would probably be another item Joe would want to bicker about-your caffeine intake. 

You put on your favorite oversized crewneck and Lululemon leggings before you left the bedroom, making as little noise as possible. What you didn’t know was that your stirring before getting out of bed woke Joe up. He wanted to start the day off on a good note, hoping to talk things through over breakfast, but you had already gone down the stairs and grabbed the keys to his new Benz.

The sleek black car was parked in the garage, windows yet to be tinted. You lifted the garage door before turning on the car and picking out your “bad bitch” playlist. Joe was able to hear the garage door open and close, he knew driving was your go to outlet to clear your head, so he let it go. 

After an hour or so, you had picked up your drinks and were driving with the windows down, cool spring air flowing throughout the nice car. You pulled up to a stop light, blasting Vigilante Shit by Taylor Swift and singing along with the song, dancing in a way that made you feel hot. What you didn’t know was that the car stopped next to you knew who you were and snapped a video of you in your own little world. Swiftly posting it to twitter. 

Joe was sitting on the couch at home, almost in a wallowing state. He just wanted to talk things through in a calm manner because he was just as tired of bickering as you were. Little did he know, the video of you was blowing up on twitter. His phone pinged from his pocket with the special text tone for his manager. 

Yo dude, what is your girl up to? There’s a video of her blowing up all over twitter.

Joe had no clue what you were doing, opting to trust you to clear your head without causing a scene. 

I’ll handle this. Was Joe’s response to his manager. 

You continued on the windy back roads, blasting Girls in the Hood by Megan Thee Stallion. A text came through the car’s ApplePlay. 

What the fuck are you doing, y/n? Get your ass home right now. The car read out to you. 

You let out an aggressive sigh, opting for that over tears. “Hey Siri, text Joey Boy back and respond with you don’t own me, don’t tell me what to do.”

That ring states otherwise honey. What made you think you could take my car without asking? Get home now, it’s about time we sat down and talked. 

These words making your heart sink to just about you asshole. Your anxiety had been heightened all week with the constant bickering. The phrase or anything close to we need to talk always seemed to make any situation worse in your opinion. 

“Hey Siri, respond to Joey Boy and say Fine, as you wish.”

You headed home, opting to take the longest route possible. Pulling into the neighborhood of your shared home, you took some deep breaths to try to calm your anxiety. As you opened the garage door to park the car, you saw an angry faced Joe waiting at the door to enter your house. 

“Y/n, what the fuck?” he emphasized in a stern tone, shooting daggers with his eyes. 

“What? I really don’t understand what you’re so upset about,” you huffed out, tossing your hands in the air as you approached the door to enter the house. 

“You don’t understand? How could you not understand?” he led you into the house, anger obvious not only his voice but in his tense back and shoulders. 

“Joe, I just wanted to clear my head. Why can't I do anything without getting bitched at?” You retorted, hanging the keys on the hook by the garage door. 

“Don’t start this with me, y/n. I’m not happy with you,” 

“Yeah, obviously,” You rolled your eyes, setting your drink down on the counter. 

Joe swiftly turned around, once again glaring at you in a way you had never seen before. His blue eyes were dark, eyelashes framing his gorgeous orbs in a scary yet beautiful way. His fist slammed on the counter as he began to take a deep breath. You could only imagine what was coming. 

“Oh my god, y/n,” He began as he rolled his eyes and huffed, “do you have any idea what you’ve done? First, you take my car without asking me, then you get caught and recorded in my car that you didn't ask to use, singing some stupid ass song about driving in a Benz or whatever the fuck it was, dancing and looking like an absolute fucking idiot,” he continued as his cheeks and neck turned a red as bright as a rose. Arms flying around as another outlet for his anger. 

You looked at him with emptiness filling your mind and body. He never had a problem before with you taking his car out. Plus, he always thought your singing and dancing was goofy, who did he think he was to call you all these things?

Looking up at him yet trying to avoid his scary eyes, you could see his breath hitch in his chest. “Babe, I-” you began.

“Don’t babe me, you're in the dog house with me right now,” he said, beginning to walk away. 

“So what? We’re not gonna talk about this? You’re just gonna bitch at me over something that I do on a normal basis? Alright Burrow, have your way for now. I’m done,” you directed yourself to the stairway. Joe swiftly came up behind you and grabbed your wrist with haste. That’s gonna hurt later.

“No no, you’re not done. We're talking about this now,” Joe forced you to follow him, pushing you down to the couch which caused you to swiftly get up. Inches from his chest, you look up at him, finger poking his chest with as much force as you could handle. “Don’t you ever handle me like that again,” you jabbed at his chest. Pushing through his strong stance, you headed toward the stairs determined to get away from him. 

Joe didn’t chase after you this time, he had practice in an hour and decided he didn’t want to get into it with you. His practice bag was in your shared bedroom where you had locked yourself in. As you heard his footsteps approach, you grabbed his bag and tossed it onto the floor outside the door, making sure to close it with a harsh nature. You could hear him sigh as he retrieved his grey bag from the floor. You took a couple deep breaths before sliding down the door, blocking any entrance with your weight. 

You hated to cry in front of Joe, so once you heard the garage door close, you felt safe to come out of your little pity party. Heading downstairs to give yourself a change of scenery, you plopped down on the couch where just a few minutes ago, you were scolding Joe for grabbing you in a way that was uncomfortable and not in a sexual way. Tears beginning to fall uncontrollably. You pulled your legs up to your chest, opting to put your crewneck over them so you could curl into a little ball and cry. 

You soon heard footsteps. What the fuck, Joe is at practice, isn’t he? You thought to yourself as you lifted your head to look around and see if anyone was there. After determining that you were alone, you went back to your little sob fest. All the emotions from the previous bickering fights catching up to you. The way Joe yelled at you really did your emotions in. 

Footsteps approached you and you felt a weight dip down on the couch next to you. You jolted out of your crewneck, craning your neck to your left to view Joe sat down next to you. You blinked a few times to try to clear your cloudy eyes as you pulled your body out of your crewneck ball. He sighed and tried to scoot a bit closer to you, only causing you to scoot further away from him. 

“Can we please not do this right now?” you sobbed. He sighed again. 

“Honey we need to talk,” he began. There were those words again. 

“You have practice and you need to go,” you began. He reached out to grab your hand. Your left hand to be exact. That alone scared you more than anything considering the absolute rock sitting on your ring finger.

“I texted Zac that I’m gonna be late. You’re more important to me right now,” he stated as his features softened. You scooted into him a little more, opting to rest your head onto his shoulder. The lack of physical touch lately didn’t help with all the bickering. Your sobs wracked your ribs. Joe knew you hated to cry in front of him, but it was inevitable after the recent events. 

“Joe I can’t stand this bickering and arguing anymore,” you sobbed again. He took an opportunity to give you a soothing back rub. 

“I know, y/n. I can’t either. Everything has just been eating me up and building up lately and we need to address all this,” he said, slowly turning to look at you.

“Why do you yell at me the way you do, Joe? It’s so hard to want to be kind back when I get talked to the way I do when you’re upset,” you spoke with shaky breaths. “I feel like I have to defend myself to you when you raise your voice with me. That’s why when we bicker, it feels never ending. How am I supposed to stand there and take criticism for every little disagreement or every little thing that makes you upset?”

“I don’t know, babe. I just get so lost in my own emotions that sometimes things just come out that way,” he began. 

“No Joe, they always come out that way. But when you start attacking me for things like singing and dancing, that’s when it goes overboard. You can’t keep criticizing me for things I do when you’re worked up,” you said with a more stern tone. 

“I’m sorry, y/n. I’m going to try to be better,” he said, grabbing at your hand again and fiddling with your ring. “This ring is supposed to represent my undying love for you and I’ve done the opposite. I promise I’m going to work to be a better fiancee so I can be the best husband. I love you y/n and I can’t lose you. I’m so sorry for the way the cards have fallen lately. I deserve to be blamed and torn into,” he said, looking down in embarrassment. 

“Babe I’m not gonna bitch back at you the way you yelled at me earlier. While I don’t appreciate the way I’ve been talked to lately, you don’t deserve to be talked to like that. I just need your help in talking things out before shit hits the fan, got it?” you looked at him, waiting for him to look into your eyes and agree. He nodded, leaning in to kiss your forehead. You both sighed as you leaned into his chest for comfort. He held you so close and tight like it was the thing he knew how to do best. You both needed that tight embrace. 

“No more talking to each other like that, got it?” you pulled away as you spoke.

“Of course, future Mrs. Burrow. We can settle things like adults because we are adults,” he showed a soft smile.

“Now go to practice, Burrow. You shouldn’t keep coach and the team waiting. I’ll be here to hug you later. I’m just glad we talked at least something out. We can talk more out when you get back,” you held out your pinky and wrapped his into yours. 

“I love you, y/n. I’ll be back later,” he got up and rushed out the door. You sighed and leaned back into the couch in hope that more talking to each other would help cure all your anxieties. Maybe even going for a drive, together...

-----

lmk if y'all want a part two, I've got some ideas up my sleeve!!!!!!

[forhereyesonlyyy]

your love. // stayc, pse. // one-shot.

in which you visit your girlfriend sieun after months of not being around each other, and you both find it hard to control repressed emotions after sieun goes overboard during your moment alone.

word count: 8.4k.

author’s note: my first stayc one-shot!!! i gotta be honest with ya'll i started writing this during asap era but towards the end i kind of lost motivation to continue so that's why it's a bit dragged on because i kinda just started saying anything sihdskfh BUT!!! THIS IS A WORK MADE WITH LOVE!!! i absolutely adore my stayc and girls and i cannot wait for teenfresh GIVE ME THE SONG OF THE LATE SUMMER MY GIRLS!!! p.s. i'm sorry this is sooooo long like omg...

tags: wlw, established relationship, angst, hurt/comfort, fluff towards the end, sieun fucks up, seeun the bestest best friend evver it's true.

warnings: suggestive at one point.

You got the genius idea when you were in your bathroom, staring blankly back at your reflection as you lazily brushed your teeth. You’ve been counting, as lame as that sounds, and in preparation for her upcoming comeback with her group, Sieun has been gone for months too long for you to endure. You missed her badly, but it wasn’t like she has been ignoring you or only talked to you once in a blue moon. No, Sieun always made sure that she texted you or call you during her downtime and in return, when you aren’t drowning in schoolwork, you send her some pictures of your face just to make sure that she doesn’t forget what you look like.

Sieun sends you some photos and even videos as well, and some late-night calls really makes you feel a lot less lonely. But of course you will always want more than that. You don’t even want to think about how long it has been since you last hugged or kissed or simply just looked at your dear girlfriend. And so, that one night, while you were brushing your already incredibly spotless teeth, you decided to surprise Sieun while she’s filming the music video with her members for the lead single of their latest album.

Sieun had told you a week before that they would start filming soon, and that day was today. That time was now, actually. You had arrived at the studio where the filming was taking place, and you’ve already informed some nearby staff about your galaxy brain surprise plan. Now you were just hoping that none of the louder girls spot you and make a scene. As much as you loved the members, you hoped that things would roll smoothly just this once.

You spot Sieun’s gorgeous strawberry blonde hair from a distance, and she was sitting on a chair chatting with a stylist. In front of her sat Sumin and Yoon, and against all of your wishes, Yoon had made eye contact with you and Sumin, sweet as ever, smiled so big upon seeing you. You immediately put your index finger over your lips for damage control and thankfully the two girls recognized the message and pretended you didn’t exist.

You continue making your way behind your sitting girlfriend but then you come to a halt when she suddenly raises her phone. You quickly hid behind a particularly tall staff member, who tried his best to not crack up as you did so. You peeked over the staff’s shoulder and of course, Sieun was indeed taking a picture of herself. Once she was finished, she brought the phone back down to her lap and finally, you make your move.

Just before you could put your chin on your girlfriend’s shoulder, you suddenly remember that you are only supposed to be Park Sieun’s good friend (Y/N). Scrapping every single one of your plan to surprise Sieun with a kiss or a hug, you stood frozen on your spot with a new plan. Sieun raises her phone for another picture and since you were literally right behind her chair, you were in the camera as well. You put up a peace sign and on the picture Sieun took, it really just looked like you photobombed her.

It took Sieun a few seconds but then she finally spots you on the picture and quickly turns around, then she confirms that yes, you are actually there.

“(Y/N), oh my God!” Sieun stands up from her chair and runs to engulf you in a tight hug. You felt your heart swell upon feeling your girlfriend’s warmth and if it weren’t for all the people around the two of you, you probably would have broke down in tears because you were not one to control your emotions well. Especially right in front of Sieun, the most important person in your life. You hold back on the hug and made it look as platonic as you could, but then Sieun leans back, keeping her arms around your neck, and ever so slightly her clear eyes shifted from your own down to your lips. You look at her, and you knew that if this embrace lasts for even one more second, you would risk ruining her life forever. So you stepped back, forcing an awkward grin on your lips.

“When did you get here?” Sieun asked. Her tone was shaky and unsure, it seems like she realized her own mistake. She had no idea how much it ate you up inside that you couldn’t even talk to each other publicly without fearing that everything will fall apart.

“Just ten minutes ago. I would’ve arrived earlier but I stopped by the nearest coffee shop and got you and the girls some pastries,” You paused. You didn’t know how strict the company was with the members’ diet, but now that you were here, you realized that you... didn’t really care. Even idols should enjoy food without worrying about gaining some pounds! Come on now, it’s even in your song, STAYC! “You can eat it on your break, or take it home. Just please, I don’t know, eat.” You said.

Sieun takes the box of pastries from your hands, and the brief touch of your fingers was enough to tug at your heartstrings. Your girlfriend turns to put away the pastries, and you take the time to look around the set. J was in the middle of filming her individual scenes, and Seeun and Isa were fooling around with a camera off to the side. It was most likely content for their fans. Looking back at Yoon and Sumin, they were focused on glossing over the delicious food you bought for them and argued about who gets which donut. From near them, Sieun gestures you to come over and so you did.

You sat on the chair across the three girls and hugged your backpack close to your chest. You had another gift, but it was for Sieun and you wanted to give it to her when you two were given a moment of privacy, if ever.

“(Y/N)! You didn’t have to waste your money and get these for us! You should’ve treated yourself instead.” Sumin says. Yoon mutters some words, but you couldn’t understand her since she was munching on a croissant.

You waved your hand, “It’s alright, I don’t mind. Sieun told me you girls have been working really hard for this comeback so I just thought that I could give you all a little something.”

Yoon swallows and wipes the corners of her mouth with a tissue, “Well, I’m glad you did because I have been craving sweet stuff for months! You should come more often! Sieun-unnie, tell (Y/N) to come more often.” The second youngest insists, nudging the second eldest’s shoulder.

Sieun only laughs at the younger girl’s orders, but you know in her heart that it’s what she wants too. There are times where the two of you can spend some solid time together whether it may be outside on a park or just at the comfort of your home. But unfortunately, most of the time, your schedules just don’t work out. When Sieun has a day off, you’re busy with assignments and school-related stuff. Sometimes, Sieun would visit you but even then you would be so distracted that you barely even look at her.

And of course, when you’re not doing much, Sieun is practicing and taking dancing and vocal lessons. You were convinced that the universe was doing its best to tear the two of you apart and there was a time that you almost succumbed to giving up, but you pulled through because you trusted Sieun, and it would break you to just leave her when you know that this was just a small obstacle that the two of you can jump over. Maybe even smash through.

You glanced down on your half-open backpack, and inside there was a red rectangular box with a pink bow tied to it. You chew on your bottom lip, now second guessing your choice. Was a necklace too predictable? You were pretty sure that you have bought Sieun lots of jewelry before, what if she thinks that you put no effort into searching for the perfect gift at all? That was literally your worst nightmare.

While staring holes through the red box, a pair of arms wrapped around your neck from behind and you turn around to see who it was.

“Aw, babe, is that for me? How sweet of you.” Seeun jokes, looking at the content inside your backpack. You rolled your eyes and closed your backpack before gently pushing Seeun away. Having mothers who are friends, you and Seeun were just as close despite having a two-year age difference. Seeun was just a fun person to be around and that was exactly why she was your best friend. You hadn’t known her for a while until your mothers introduced the two of you.

Seeun was the reason you even got to know Sieun on a personal standpoint. You had only seen Sieun on tv until one day, you stopped by their company building for a quick visit and tour from Seeun herself when Sieun happened to be practicing diligently with Sumin, and it all started from there.

“Sure. I would totally give my girlfriend her surprise gift in front of everyone.” You replied sarcastically. Seeun giggles and hugs you again, saying something about how glad she was that you came to visit her and everyone else.

(While you were catching up with Seeun, Sieun was quietly twiddling her thumbs beside Sumin. But of course you don’t see that because you were too busy laughing with your friend. Sieun hated feeling like this, especially towards one of her girls. But she missed you too much, and making her watch you get touchy and chatty with someone else was a lot to ask for.)

After that, Sieun was asked to make her way to the set since it was her turn to film for her individual scenes. You smile at her and mouthed some words of encouragement. Sieun smiles back briefly before going to where the director had told her to stand.

While you certainly enjoyed seeing Sieun in action, whether it may be singing or dancing or acting, you found it quite unfortunate that you couldn’t get to talk much. You loved Seeun, she was your best friend and she makes you laugh like crazy but you just miss Sieun so much. You hoped that sometime this day the two of you will be given a moment to talk. Even a minute would be enough. You just needed to feel connected to her again.

To avoid being a downer for the rest of your visit, you decided to bond with the other members of STAYC. Besides Sieun and Seeun, Isa was the third closest person to you. Not only was she extremely kind towards you, but her overall good-natured aura was almost magnetic. You always find yourself clinging to her because she made you feel good inside. Sieun does not get jealous over that because everyone knew Isa had that effect. Even Sieun herself gets drawn to her.

“She’s great, isn’t she?” Isa asked, watching Sieun work diligently with the camera. You smiled proudly at your girlfriend as the whole directing crew whooped to encourage her. You hadn’t realized that you didn’t reply to Isa as Sieun had completely captivated you. Looking at your smile and the way your eyes were quite literally glued to Sieun, Isa finds herself grinning.

“Do you like her?”

The question completely caught you off guard. You nearly snapped your neck when you turned your head to look at the older girl because from the way she said it, Isa sounded like she knew.

“S-Sieun?” You ended up blurting out. Well, now you looked like a fool. Every member’s eyes were on you, although Yoon did look quite funny since she was still eating some bread. Isa tilts her head innocently. She has no idea what she has just done, bless her heart.

“Yes. You look like you’re her biggest fan. I bet she’s your favorite member.” Isa said. Upon realizing that you might have overreacted, you then mentally slap yourself for getting all jittery and nervous. Because of course Isa wouldn’t guess it that easily. You like to think that you and Sieun have been pretty successful with the whole secret dating thing. The two of you have been official since before STAYC even debuted, albeit just a few months! And not one person has even got a hint that you and Sieun were closer than you like to show to others.

Seeun shakes her head, “That’s impossible! I’m your best friend, therefore I should be your favorite member.”

“No. Me and (Y/N) have the same exact interests. If she were just a regular fan and not our friend, I bet she would like me a lot.” J argued, and so STAYC scream over on top of each other to debate which member you like the most. Only if they knew... but they really shouldn’t.

(From the distance, Sieun watches you grin from ear to ear watching the members fight for your affection. This time, she wasn’t feeling jealous. She felt her heart growing heavy. Not with envy, but rather... love.)

When the mess managed to pass and the girls got serious since they still had some work to do, you asked a staff member to point where the washroom was and thanked them when they provided you with some directions. You must’ve eaten something bad before leaving your house since you were in a hurry. Bringing your bag along, you started following the directions the staff member gave you but then a hand tugs on your sleeve, stopping you from making another step.

“Leaving already?” Sieun asked, retracting her hand slowly. Some of the girls were already changing their outfits, while the others were going over the choreography as they were going to film the group dance clip.

“Oh, no. I was just about to go to the washroom. Well... then I was going to come back and say goodbye because my mom wants my help with some groceries,” You replied. Sieun nods, and then she goes quiet. It seems like she couldn’t get the words out of her throat. You understood why to some extent, maybe, but you did wonder why Sieun would feel nervous around you of all people. “Are you okay? Do you need something?” You asked, concerned.

Sieun shakes her head, then she cautiously looks around. You imitate her actions, trying to understand why she was suddenly like this. Sieun suddenly pushes you into an unknown corner where not even one person would dare to look at or walk by, and then she grabs your face with her hands and kisses you softly.

This was certainly new. The two of you agreed to not even be five meters close whenever you’re around just to avoid speculations, except for ‘platonic’ hugs, but here Sieun was, kissing you in public! Not that you were complaining, your mind was too hazed and all you wanted to do was kiss your girlfriend, so you do exactly that.

You’ve nearly forgotten what Sieun’s lips tasted like. The familiar cherry-flavored chapstick she wore all the time comes back to you, and you couldn’t help but pull her closer just so you can never forget about it ever again. Sieun puts her hands on your shoulders, and you feel her clutch your sweater. It almost felt like she was angry, maybe she was. Maybe she was mad about how things had to be this way, how things had to be so unfair to the both of you.

But of course, you would always be there to remind her that it’s all going to be worth it. Because at the end of the day, you have each other and the harder things get, the more the two of you hold on and the more you never wanna let go. You will always end up like this: in each other’s arms and sharing your love for one another through kisses, or maybe something as simple as a look.

Sieun was the first to break the kiss, she wraps her arms around your neck and presses her forehead against yours, “You have no idea how much I missed you.” She whispered. It sounded like she was on the verge of crying and it broke your heart.

“That’s why I’m here. I just couldn’t wait until the next time you sneak out of your dorm to come to my house.” You confessed, laughing. Sieun had told you through text about how much she feels bad whenever she lies to her members just to see you and plus, you realized that it has been her that was making an effort to see you most often than the other way around so this genius surprise plan of yours was partly made so that you could give her a break.

“I’m glad you did, I couldn’t wait either... I actually wanted to surprise you after today’s filming was done,” Sieun leans further back to look into your eyes. You raised an eyebrow. Of course that was to be expected from Sieun, but you didn’t think she would do it on a work day! “Yeah, I was going to go straight to your house and bother you until you get sick of me.” Sieun joked.

“Now I wish I just stayed put then, I would love for you to try and get me to get rid of you which, spoiler alert, would never ever happen, just saying.” You replied. You leaned forward and planted a quick kiss on top of your girlfriend’s nose.

Sieun hums, “How are you so sure?” She asked, genuinely curious. You couldn’t even believe that she was asking such a question.

“I always want to be with you,” You answered. You kiss Sieun’s lips, but it was short and quick much to her dismay. You laughed a little, and then you hugged her tightly. “I love you.”

It wasn’t the first time you said that, of course not. But it has felt so long since you voiced it out, so much that it feels like it’s the first time, but that was okay. The first time you said those three words, you heart was beating out of your chest and you voice was shaking from nervousness, having been overwhelmed by your own emotions at the time.

Back then, you were in over your head trying to figure out if Sieun felt the same about you because you really were hopelessly in love. And even though she did say it back before and has since been saying the words first sometimes, you were nervous at her reply. Will she just smile at you? Will she leave? Will she just kiss you and then leave? Do you still feel the same?

“I love you so much more.”

Your heart bends, breaks, and heals all at once at your love’s response. It was something that only Sieun could make you feel.

“Good.” You kiss her again. Again, and again until Sieun couldn’t help but laugh. You missed seeing her beautiful smile with your own eyes, and hearing her laugh over the phone didn’t give you the same butterflies as it would face-to-face. How you wished the two of you could just have a whole week— no, that would be too short. You wished that you could be with Sieun for a whole summer because what better way to spend your favorite season than being with your favorite person?! Obviously you had to stop being a brat about your situation and eat it up, but you were Sieun’s biggest fan and you simply had nothing to blame but... the timing of it all.

You briefly glance behind Sieun and your heart nearly drops to your stomach when you spot Yoon’s tall figure passing by, looking confused. With all your heart, you prayed to the Gods that the second youngest wouldn’t dare to enter your little corner. Mostly because you didn’t want anything to cut your moment with Sieun shorter than it has to be.

“Jayoon is going to talk, and they’re all going to start looking for you,” You said. Sieun hums, not seeming to care at all. Her left cheek was pressed against your right shoulder, her lips just barely grazing against your neck, making you shiver. Right. When Sieun misses you too much, she tends to get drunk with... impulse. You weren’t any different, but at least you had more restraint to not commit to doing monkey business in public! “What’s going to be your excuse?” You asked, trying to take your mind off of the trail of kisses Sieun was leaving up your neck.

“What are you trying to do?” Sieun asked, her breath tickling that funny spot behind your ear that she knows pushes you closer to giving in to her.

You hear footsteps getting closer and you start panicking, “One more second away from the set and I swear we get closer to basically telling everyone we’re gonna get married and have three kids, one named after Chaeyoung.”

“Hm. I guess we better do this quickly, then.” Sieun’s hands somehow finds a way to slip under your sweater, and you flinch backwards, both angry and shocked at how your girlfriend was being so careless at the moment.

You try to let her off easy, “Babe, if you can wait four long months then surely you can hold on for a few hours more.” You said. Sieun narrows her eyes, and you just knew that this was going to be bigger than it has to be. But you felt the need to remind Sieun just what she was trying to risk for something so... invaluable. At least that was how you saw it.

“(Y/N), you’re going to have to learn to just take the chance because what if we never get it again? I’m going to start promotions with the girls soon and, as you always seem to be, you’re going to be drilled with schoolwork and when you are, I don’t even feel like there’s a relationship to be lost!” Sieun spat. Again, you couldn’t believe what you were hearing from your girlfriend, but this time for a very different reason.

You grit your teeth, trying to clear your head and avoid saying anything that might make this tiny flame a devastating inferno, “I’m just saying that this isn’t the time nor the place to do this kind of thing, Sieun. I mean... I’m sure it would take some darn good eyes to spot us but what should we do if that happens? Have you ever thought of a way to deal with the consequences? Think about what you’re going to lose! We can’t keep getting away with a ‘near miss’, you know that.” You said.

“You know, one thing I realized about you while we were apart is you are way too invested in making sure that I keep being a singer. That’s sweet, honey, but I have to ask: are you in this for me or my career?” Sieun’s words had tore a hole in your heart, almost literally.

“How could you say that? I—” You briefly paused and kept your voice down to avoid drawing any attention. “I love you.”

(Sieun hears the sincerity in your tone and it eats her up inside.)

“You’ve worked your whole life to get to this point, I don’t want you to throw it all away for something that is worth nothing, or for someone like me,” You take your girlfriend’s hands with yours and you hold them tightly. As if you never want to let go. “We can do whatever you want when you visit me later, okay?” You hoped that this would be enough to stop all the bad feelings and the arguing, but you knew in your heart that the two of you would have to talk about it again in a more civic and mature way.

Sieun slowly pulls her hands away, and God were you so scared of what her next words implied, “There are a lot of things in my life that I can willingly and wholeheartedly throw away my dream for, one of those things is you, (Y/N). You say you love me, but I guess not to the same extent that I love you.”

Something inside you ticks off and once again, you grit your teeth to control your temper. Civil and mature conversation. Civil and mature conversation. Come on, (Y/N), that’s what we’re going for here.

While you were yelling at yourself about keeping calm, Sieun had already started walking back to the set. She apologized to the director and had told everybody that she took it upon herself to show you where the bathroom was. You were left standing alone in that dark corner in utter disbelief. You would have started crying if it weren’t for the fact that you had to leave in approximately five minutes.

You didn’t give yourself a chance to think about what had just happened with Sieun, you were saving that for midnight. Before you could leave the studio, however, you managed to slip the red rectangular box inside Sieun’s bag undetected and finally, you headed home.

-

Sieun did not visit you.

Not that you really care, not after what went down in the studio. Still, it couldn't be helped that you feel hollow inside your heart. It was the first time Sieun did not visit you when she said that she would. Regardless of whether or not the two of you got into a heated argument, Sieun does not let it last for longer than an hour and takes it upon herself to fix burned bridges.

You thought about apologizing first, but you were afraid that you would be distracting Sieun from her work and you didn't want to make things worse for your relationship. So, you stayed quiet for the whole afternoon. Literally. Even your mother noticed that you weren't talking much, but she didn't say anything about it, which you were thankful for.

You got a message from Seeun an hour after you left. She talked about how everyone was sad that you were only there for such a short time. You didn't give her a reply, mostly because you didn't have the energy to do so. After you helped your mother arrange the groceries, you spent the next few hours sitting on the living room couch and watching endless reruns of old dramas. Occasionally you would open the single novel sitting on top of the coffee table, but you would always find yourself looking back on your phone, hoping that Sieun would at least tell you that she got home safely with the girls.

So far into the evening, nothing.

You sighed, hugging your knees close to your chest. You stared at the tv screen and nearly gagged at the sight of a couple kissing in the most awkward way possible. How typical. You groaned since you reached another ending of an episode and you still haven't moved from your spot due to lack of motivation.

At some point, you spaced out. You started thinking of ways to make it up to Sieun when you inevitably see her again, and you had several scenarios in your head playing out that you didn't notice that your front door had been unlocked and opened. Instinctively, you grabbed the remote and prepared yourself to throw it at the unfortunate burglar that has broken into your home.

“(Y/N)...”

You blink and you realized that it was not a burglar that has broken into your home. Instead, it was the very same girl you had been thinking about the whole day, always. Well, she didn't break into the house. You had completely forgotten about the spare key you allowed Sieun to have. It's been a while since she visited, that's why.

“Sieun...?” You were going to sleep crying about how messy things were between you and your girlfriend, but the she shows up in your house at nearly ten in the evening without warning and you find yourself quite a mess inside your head. There she stood on the other end of the couch, disheveled and exhausted. Possibly from running. You clutched on to the blanket covering your legs, you wanted to wrap it around your girlfriend’s figure to keep her warm, but there were a million questions circling your brain that you couldn’t move from your seat.

Why didn’t she call you? She should be resting and preparing herself for the second day of filming, why is she here? Did she actually run from the dormitory to your house? Is she insane?!

Sieun exhales deeply and sits down on the spot beside you. Without a word, she slowly leans her head on your shoulder and rests it there, her hand finding its own way to yours. You release the tension from your shoulders and relaxed, leaning back. You tried to keep yourself focused on the drama in front of you, just to give Sieun a moment to collect herself and finally talk, but a shining object on your peripheral vision has forced you to turn your head and look down at your girlfriend.

To your surprise, Park Sieun was wearing the necklace you had bought for her.

“I’m shocked to see you didn’t throw it away,” You joked. Sieun was wearing some sweats, a shirt, and a jacket. It was obvious that she was getting ready to settle down for the night and put everything that happened in the afternoon somewhere inside her brain where she didn’t have to think about it until later, but something gave her the energy to just come to you. Until she speaks about it, you won’t ask, but boy was the curiosity killing you. “Most people wouldn’t even want to look at anything that reminds them of their lovers after a quarrel.” You muttered.

“It’s from you. I would never throw away any of your gifts over a stupid fight.” Sieun looks up, and from where you were looking, you could see a better view of the necklace. It looked amazing on her, just as you imagined.

The piece of jewel resting between Sieun’s collarbones was that of a sun because, as cheesy as it sounds, you considered Park Sieun as the one who lights your way. And maybe you were just hopelessly in love with her, but whenever she comes into your vision, everything just seems brighter. Other than that, Park Sieun is a small girl who was fed a boatload of talent as she was growing up. You’ve seen what she can do, and you had no doubt that she is one of the most promising idols in the industry. Just as the sun is one of the brightest stars in the galaxy.

You hear Sieun release a shaky breath and despite the entertaining scene playing in the television, her eyes dwelled up with tears. It felt like your heart was being trampled under someone’s feet and you had no choice but to watch.

“(Y/N), I’m really sor—”

You turn the television off and stood up, abruptly interrupting Sieun. That was on purpose, you were not going to have the talk in a living room couch where your mother could easily walk down and overhear. There was nothing for either of you to worry about since your mother knew of your relationship and was respectful and supportive, but you felt that this was something that should stay between you and Sieun.

You turn around to face your girlfriend. Tears had already started streaming down her beautiful bare face, and you gently wipe them away with your thumbs. You then took Sieun’s hand and nodded your head to the stairs, “Let’s go up. I’ll get the bath ready.”

-

As warm as the water kept you, goosebumps still managed to show themselves on your skin as Sieun started discarding her clothes to the side. You keep your eyes on the faucet, distracting yourself by making scenarios of droplets of water talking to each other in very high-pitched voices in your head. This makes you smile and laugh, but then Sieun joins you in the bathtub and suddenly the droplets of water started screaming in panic. Some even fainted and evaporated, how dark.

Sieun sits in the space between your legs and she hugs her own close to her chest. You rest your chin on her shoulder and wrapped your arms around her waist, holding her tight. She had pulled her hair up in the neat bun, exposing her smooth neck. You felt like kissing her.

Should you start talking? You invited Sieun to join you in the bathroom in hopes of talking in a more private space, but now you were actually in a loss for words.

“What I tried doing earlier,” Sieun speaks. You hum in response, taking one of her hands from under the water and intertwining your fingers. “It was wrong. Not because we were at... risk of being caught, but because I was pressuring you to do something against your will. It doesn’t matter if I missed you like crazy, it was terrible of me to do. I’m—” Sieun turns her head, and her eyes soften at the sight of your gentle look.

“I’m sorry.” She whispers.

“It’s okay,” You replied. You know Sieun would never force you into anything you didn’t want to do in her right mind, she promised you herself as soon as the two of you made things official. “But I understand.” You continued.

“There’s no excuse as to why I would—”

“Let me finish, babe,” You thought about all the times Sieun had to watch you do anything but sit down and talk with her on a day where the two of you were supposed to spend some quality time together after weeks of being apart. And then you thought about the times where you were too reluctant to go on a date outside with Sieun and wasted a free day due to fear of having everything fall apart for her. I’ve been quite the coward. “I think I was being too critical about hiding the fact that we’re dating. You’re the one who makes the most effort to make meetings happen... but I get too scared and before I realize, you’re leaving again and we’ve done nothing.”

“(Y/N)—”

“And then I have the nerve to blame you and your work and the industry when it was me who was slowly ruining this relationship all along. I— How are you not sick of me?” You absolutely hated how you let every good opportunity slip away, how you might have made Sieun feel that she wasn’t in a relationship, how you were never the ‘good lover’ you always wanted to believe you were. You wanted to change, but how will you ever get rid of the feeling that follows whenever you do something even remotely romantic with Sieun in public?

The feeling that you will ruin Sieun’s life, as well as your best friend’s, and that everyone will hate you for it. That Sieun will hate you for it.

“You were protecting me. I appreciate what you do for me and I always will,” Sieun cups your cheeks and leaves soft kisses all over your face. Your heart swells with sadness and the remaining bits of frustration over your past actions, but Sieun’s presence keeps those emotions at bay and eventually your heart was as light as a feather. “I would never hate you for doing what you think is the best for us. You’re my everything, (Y/N).”

Sieun kisses you, and while it was less intense than the one you shared earlier, it holds the same passion and feeling. It was a bit awkward considering that there wasn’t a lot of space for either of you to work in, but you didn’t care about that. All you wanted to do was cherish this moment and never let go of it just yet. There were a lot of things that Sieun made you feel. There was probably no way you can express them all verbally, but you hoped that this kiss would be enough to give Sieun a hint of your true feelings for her.

There wasn’t a limit when it comes to how much you should love a person, and it would be impossible to measure anyway because you knew that every passing second, you love for Sieun grows so much that it could beat the size of the universe.

“We don’t have to hide a lot anymore,” Sieun says after a while, leaning her back into your chest. You blinked, what does that mean? “The girls know.”

Your blood runs cold, “T-They...?”

Sieun nods, “Even the staff.” What the hell? I guess we weren’t as slick as we thought.

Sieun sighs blissfully and relaxes in your embrace. You raised an eyebrow, “You seem awfully calm about all of this.” You said. You thought that Sieun would be as nervous as you are right now. Hell, you were even preparing a whole speech in your head just in case there comes a time where you would have to defend your relationship against the world.

“Yeah, it’s good that they know.” Sieun says, and the content smile plastered on her face was enough to make you believe her words.

-

[A few hours earlier...]

“Rest well, girls. You’ll have a long day tomorrow.”

The members of STAYC thank their manager and bowed politely before making their way inside their dormitory. Immediately, Yoon and Seeun flop down on the couch, groaning about how their legs could not work anymore. Sumin heads straight to the kitchen, already thinking of what to make for dinner. J joins Yoon and Seeun on the couch, comforting them while also teasing them about their ever-deteriorating stamina.

Isa and Sieun were the last to enter. They were silent, and that, Isa thought, was weird in a way.

“What would you all like to have for dinner?” Sumin asks from the kitchen, staring intently at the contents inside the refrigerator as if her desired ingredients would appear if she just stares longer.

“We want—”

A door slams shut, making Yoon flinch and stop talking. Everyone turns their head to the front door and Sieun was nowhere to be found. She had stomped inside her shared room with Isa, J, and Seeun without a word. Isa sighs, contemplating whether she should apprehend Sieun about her behavior or leave her to her thoughts.

Sumin pokes her head out, “Does anybody know what’s going on with her?” She asked. Everybody shrugged, all of them had a different answer they all voiced out.

“Alright. Well, we can’t eat good dinner with a dark cloud above our heads! Yeeun, you’re on grocery duty with me. Chaeyoung, Seeun, and Jayoon, do what you do best and make Sieun smile.” Sumin said, grinning. She and Yeeun leave the dormitory once again, and the rest of the girls were left in the living room feeling clueless.

They all shared a look and then they just knew what to do.

Isa knocks on the door and as expected, Sieun doesn’t answer. Carefully, Isa opens the door and there they found Sieun sitting on her bed, staring at the floor with a dark look on her face. Yoon almost aborted the mission, having been scared of the thought of getting close to Sieun when’s angry, but Seeun keeps her with her and Isa as they tiptoed their way inside the room.

“Hi, unnie.” Seeun said, smiling at the older girl. Sieun looks at her, but doesn’t smile back. Seeun was starting to think that maybe Yoon was right to try and run away from the task. Isa, however, was determined.

The third eldest decided to be frank, “Trouble in paradise?” She asked.

“I just... I think I messed up with— wait, what did you say?” Sieun snaps her head up, now looking at Isa with wide eyes.

“You and (Y/N). You fought, didn’t you?” Isa asks again, making it clear to Sieun that yes, she knows exactly what she is talking about.

Sieun looks at the younger girls and she finds herself in utter disbelief, “You knew?”

Yoon nods, “We’ve all known for a while, actually. Seeun-unnie was the first one, and being Seeun-unnie she accidentally spilled it on us... but it wouldn’t really take a genius to find out about you and (Y/N).” She said. Sieun releases a heavy sigh, then she laughs at herself. All that effort just to find out that the girls have known all along. She didn’t know whether to think it was funny or sad for her, but at least she isn’t being yelled at.

“How...? And when?” Sieun directed the question to Seeun.

Seeun sits on the spot next to the second eldest and tries to remember the exact moment she found out about the not-so-secret relationship, “When we weren’t so busy, (Y/N) came over and played with me and Yeeun for a bit. You were in your room, so you didn’t know that she was here yet. Yeeun and I went to the kitchen to grab some snacks, but then I forgot to ask (Y/N) what she wanted to have. So, I went back to the living room to talk to her and... well,” Seeun grins at the memory. It was one of the moments where her heart felt so full at the sight of your smile. Don’t get her wrong, it wasn’t anything romantic. You were her best friend and if you were happy, she was happy. “She had this big dumb smile on her face while she was staring at her phone and I wondered what could be the cause of that. Turns out that she was going crazy over a cheesy message you sent at the time. I send her the same messages and she just replies with the vomit emoji, but when it was you... I have never seen her so happy.”

Sieun blushes. While she doesn’t remember that exact time, she felt rather reassured after hearing Seeun’s words. “Why didn’t you say anything to me? To us? You know, we were breaking our backs trying to hide it from everybody.” The second eldest sighed.

Seeun thinks hard about it. She knew in her heart that she would’ve confronted the couple about it, not only because she finds pleasure in teasing her tough best friend but mostly because she was over the moon about the two of you finding happiness in one another.

“I don’t know... I guess I felt like I would be intruding— or maybe I thought your hard work would be wasted. Something like that,” Seeun shrugs, giggling about her lack of a clear answer. “But just so you know, I didn’t actually tell the girls about you and (Y/N)! I’m not a snitch! I just... said some small things and they were smart enough to figure it out!” Seeun defends herself, playfully glaring at Yoon.

“No, Jayoon was right. Perhaps we really were a little too obvious about it. Mostly me, probably.” Sieun says, sighing. Not even Seeun visits you in your own home often and you’re practically joined by the hip! And how does Seeun know whenever Sieun was at your place? Well, she could always tell when you’re occupied (you really just don’t respond to the hundred old pictures of Richie she sends), and Sieun always makes sure to make herself look extra pretty on the days she would sneak out to meet up with you.

“Alright, well, now that that’s out of the way, what happened between the two of you in that little corner?” Isa asked, sitting down on the bed across Sieun’s. The second eldest finds herself feeling extremely embarrassed now that she knows that Isa, and probably all of the girls, know where the two of you decided to hide that time. God knows what else they could’ve seen.

“Other than, you know, the kissing.” Yoon commented.

“Please don’t... bring that up.” Sieun shakes her head, flustered. Both Seeun and Yoon sit down on either side of Sieun, making kissing noises to tease her endlessly. Isa sits on the bed across from Sieun's, laughing at the younger girls' antics.

Sieun covers her face with her hands, groaning, "I went... overboard. N-Nothing happened but... fuck, I— I missed her. And she was there, and I just wanted to feel close to her again. It wasn't the right time, I know, but that's not the point. I got mad and I yelled and I said all these horrible things to her and... and now I don't know if I can even face her." She was in complete distraught.

The two of you have fought before, sure. But neither of you have let it gone for this long and let it go this bad. Sieun knows that she has to talk to you, that she has to be the one to apologize because she was the one in the wrong, but she is so, so scared of what you might say to her. A cold and unforgiving look did not suit the sweet eyes Sieun has gotten to love so much but with the state she left you, Sieun thinks that the worst might just happen the next time you two see each other.

You were the best thing that's ever happened to her. All her life she felt that something was missing. Even achieving her greatest dream did not make that hollow feeling go away. Then she met you, and slowly all the pieces of her incomplete puzzle started coming together.

Sieun feels tears building up in her eyes and clutches on her bed tightly, "I don't want lose (Y/N). I can't lose her."

Yoon caresses the older girl's back to comfort her, pouting at Sieun's pitiful sight. Isa only stares, sighing and finding herself thinking of ways to help Sieun. Seeun stands up and grabs Sieun's bag from floor. Sieun doesn't say anything when the younger girl fishes through her bag. She didn't have the strength to do anything at all.

Seeun cracks a proud smile on her pretty face when she successful finds the red box inside Sieun's bag. Everyone in the room perks up at the sight of the unfamiliar object. Seeun gently places the box on Sieun's lap.

"It's from (Y/N), obviously," Seeun takes off the cover and reveals the beautiful sun necklace you've bought for her. The jewel seemed to shine brightly under the light, and Yoon mutters something about it being the prettiest necklace she has ever seen. "(Y/N) is very... simple. Traditional. Not that it's a bad thing. I meant that... her love isn't anything grand, but that's what make her so appealing. She's my best friend so I can say that." Seen clasps the necklace behind Sieun and admired it. You really did have the best taste in jewelry.

"My point is you don't have to make a song, or tell her a poem to fix all this. Just, you know, be there and say sorry," Seeun sits back down beside Sieun, smiling at her. "She's hurting right now too. I think it would help if you were there." Seeun glances at her own phone, frowning at the realization that you haven't replied to her messages at all.

Sieun touches the sun-shaped jewel resting on her collarbone, and it made her think of you — her very own star, shining down on her when everything gets dark. The one person who she knows will always be there when she needs them, the one person who will love her and care for her unconditionally. She couldn't afford to lose you, your love, your very randomly-timed gifts, your smile, your laugh, and that future that Sieun so badly wanted with you.

"I... I need to go." Sieun doesn't even wait for a reply from her members. She sprints out of the room, barely able to grab the keys to your house as she did so, put on her sneakers in record speed before dashing out of the dorms.

The crisp, cold air hits Sieun's face while she races down the street she knows all too well, but she knew a world without you in her life would be colder, and it would hurt more. Sieun held the sun jewel in her hand while she ran, lungs begging for air and legs begging for a stop but she couldn't. She had to see you. And be with you again.

Everything was about you, and for you. It always will be, for Sieun.

Finally, Sieun comes to a stop at your front porch. The curtains were drawn, but she could faintly see the drama being played on the television and the dim light coming from your kitchen. Sieun hoped it wasn't your mother because she would have too much of an explaining to do. Sieun approaches your front door, puts the key inside the lock and turns the doorknob cautiously.

Sieun steps inside the living room and sees you, her girlfriend, all the more ready to attack her with the remote control for the television. She could laugh, but she was too exhausted from all the running she did. And plus, making eye contact with you after everything she did made her so, so weak.

"(Y/N)..." God, she could barely speak your name.

You dropped the remote control on the couch, "Sieun...?" She missed your voice a lot. Sieun releases a deep breath and settles herself beside you, your warmth immediately getting rid of every fear, doubt, and shame in her head. She rested her head on your shoulder and took your hand in hers, intertwining your fingers and holding it tightly. She never wants to let go.

Sieun knew she was a work in progress, but she was willing to do anything for you. Whether it be giving up her dreams, or swallowing her pride, or literally running miles just to see you — for your love was worth having more than any of the stars in the universe, and the universes beyond that.

[nyxlaufeyson]

for the pride month writing special, could you do one with an openly gender-fluid avenger Loki with a gender-neutral avenger reader. I haven’t thought of the exact scenario it happens, but at one point the reader (lovingly) nicknames Loki “Ruby Tuesday” (after the song by Rolling Stones). Later he asks about it and they play the song for him. After that it becomes a thing for them. Maybe Tony tries to call Loki that too but it just ends up very bad for him.

Ruby Tuesday

Oneshot Masterlist - Main Masterlist

POV: Second

Ship: Gender-Fluid!Loki x Gender-Neutral!Reader

Type: Pure fluffy fluff!

Wordcount: 1,146

TW: None

Synopsis: You call Loki a nickname which leads you to introducing them to The Rolling Stones.

A/N: Okay so like I don't know if I'm gonna get to all 30 blocks this month as planned, but I'm combining them and doing my best. Here is this one that is a request, and I hope I did it justice! This takes out one of my request blocks as well as the "Gender-Fluid Loki" block, but there is still more gender-fluid Loki to come, trust me!

To leave a request, feel free to comment anywhere or inbox me

You lay on top of the bed, scrolling through your phone while Loki sat at the vanity, doing her makeup. Loki had been using her feminine form more often lately, and you certainly weren’t complaining. 

Loki had come out as genderfluid as soon as you started dating, as they didn’t want you to feel uncomfortable with them and their identity. Of course, you didn’t care, and your love and affection for them didn’t change, no matter what form Loki took. 

Loki scoffed as she messed up her eyeliner, grabbing a makeup wipe and starting over. “Need help?” You asked, putting your phone down and propping your head up with your hands on the bed. 

“If you wouldn’t mind, yes, help would be appreciated. I would just use my magic, but I would like to learn the Midguardian style of cosmetics.” Loki said, and you smiled and got out of bed, walking over to the vanity. 

You grabbed the eyeliner she was using and tilted her chin up as you explained to her what you were doing. “What I usually do is put a piece of tape on the place I want it to go, because that makes it easier to do a straight line.” 

“However, I don’t want to go running around to try to find some tape, so I’m just going to do my best to keep it as even as possible.” You lightly placed the eyeliner under Loki’s eyelid, going outwards and winging it. You examined your work before moving onto the other eyelid, trying your best to match the first eye. 

After you finished, you capped the eyeliner, letting Loki examine herself in the mirror. “Amazing, my darling, thank you.” She said, pulling you by the shirt and kissing you on the cheek. 

You blushed as you straightened your posture, finding a kiss stain on your cheek in the mirror. “Really?” You asked, and Loki smirked. “Well how else is everyone going to know that I love you sooooo much?” She asked, and you snorted, putting the eyeliner up. 

“Well then, I’m going to go brew some tea in the kitchen. Would you like any?” Loki asked, and you shook your head. “I’m good for right now, thanks though.” 

“Bye Ruby Tuesday!” You called out as she began to leave, but she stopped and rose her eyebrow. “Ruby Tuesday?” She asked, confused. “What’s that supposed to mean?” 

Your jaw dropped, and you rose a hand to your heart in feigned offense. “The Rolling Stones? Oh. My. God. Have you never listened to Ruby Tuesday?!” Loki shook her head, and you squealed, running to the bed and grabbing your phone. 

“Okay okay- go get your tea, I’ll pull up the song. I can’t believe I’m about to introduce you to The Rolling Stones.” Loki shrugged and left to go get her tea, leaving you to pull up your music on your phone. 

~~~~~

“She would never say where she came from

Yesterday don’t matter if it’s gone”

Loki and you sat huddled up together on the bed, the volume turned up all the way on the phone as the song played. 

“While the sun is bright

Or in the darkest night”

Loki took a sip of her tea, listening to the music as she watched you sway your head. 

“No one knows, she comes and goes.”

At this point you began to sing along with the music, not being able to help yourself as the familiar beat started to pick up. 

“Goodbye, Ruby Tuesday

Who could hang a name on you?

When you change with every new day

Still, I’m gonna miss you”

Loki smiled as you sang. Your eyes were closed and you were almost louder than the music itself before you began to quiet down and let the music lead you, instead of it being the other way around. 

“Don’t question why she needs to be so free

She’ll tell you it’s the only way to be

She can’t be chained

To a life where nothing’s gained

And nothing’s lost, at such a cost”

“Goodbye, Ruby Tuesday

Who could hang a name on you?

When you change with every new day

Still, I’m gonna miss you”

You picked up a hairbrush from your nightstand, pretending it was a microphone as you continued on. 

“‘There’s no time to lose, ’ I heard her say

Catch your dreams before they slip away

Dying all the time

Lose your dreams and you will lose your mind

Ain’t life unkind?”

Loki was sure you were singing so loud the entire city would hear it, but she didn’t care if you didn’t. She’d support you even if you were the worst singer in the world, which you definitely weren't. (She had heard Thor attempt to sing one night when he was very, very drunk).

“Goodbye, Ruby Tuesday

Who could hang a name on you?

When you change with every new day

Still, I’m gonna miss you”

“Goodbye, Ruby Tuesday

Who could hang a name on you?

When you change with every new day

Still, I’m gonna miss you”

You finished off the song-Loki clapping her hands in applause-and you stood up on the bed and did a little bow. “Thank you, thank you.” 

Loki laughed and pulled you back down on the bed and into her arms, ruffling your hair. “I do like the song, and I believe it is a fitting nickname for you to call me.” Loki said, and you grinned. 

“Great, cause you’re gonna hear it a gazillion times from here on out, Ruby Tuesday.” You said, giggling as Loki gave a dramatic sigh. 

“Oh no, whatever shall I do!” She said, placing a hand to her forehead as you laid your head on her stomach, using it as a pillow. 

“I dunno, Ruby Tuesday.” 

~~~~~

Loki and you were cuddling on the couch when Tony walked in, sipping from his coffee mug. 

“Oh hey look who it is, Tunes and Ruby Tuesday.” Tony said, and your eyes widened. Tony called you ‘Tunes’ all the time, because you loved music, but he had never called Loki ‘Ruby Tuesday’ before. 

Of course, you called Loki it all the time, but that was different. It was your thing, and you were afraid of how Loki might react to Tony calling him that. 

“What did you call me?” Loki growled, standing up from his spot on the couch. “Uh- Ruby Tuesday? I just figured since Tunes calls you that all the time-” 

Loki crossed his arms, glaring at Tony. “Don’t ever call me that again.” He said, and Tony nodded. 

“Alright, understood Reindeer games.” Tony said, and although Loki frowned, he returned back to you on the couch. 

You nuzzled up to him with your nose, smirking. “I hope you don’t expect me to stop with the nickname, Ruby Tuesday.” 

Loki smiled, pulling you closer. “I wouldn’t dream of it.” 

Tag list (Sorry if you guys don't want to be tagged for the Pride stuff, please just lmk and I can remove you for the non- xreader pride stuff. Lmk if you want to be added/removed!!!): @anukulee @mischief-dream @iceeericeee

[djservo]

it’s that time of year again… 🎄🎅🎉🎊 no. the highlights of your 2023 media consumption of course! just like last year, i want to know your top 5 films, books, tv shows, songs/albums, pop culture moments if that’s your thing, and as a bonus: any favourite personal moment/achievement in the last year? new to you, new in release, either works! can’t wait to see your response and wishing you a happy new year! 😁🩷

oh man I'm late but YAYYYYYY I luv these round ups + appreciate U so much for asking each year! HAPPY NEW YEAR!! 🫂🎆

films: sooooo many good first watches in 2023, surprisingly a lot in the first couple months which I think set a precedent for a year of fruitful viewings 🔮 I made a top 25 list so shoutout to the other 20 that I painstakingly sifted from 300+ watches but ok my top 5 were:

Rapture (1979) dir. Iván Zulueta

Tampopo (1985) dir. Jūzō Itami

The Last of Sheila (1973) dir. Herbert Ross

Mirch Masala (1987) dir. Ketan Mehtal

Pickpocket (1959) dir. Robert Bresson

I also finished Pedro Almodóvar's filmography (except for the latest short) which was really satisfying so I feel like that also deserves a shoutout + I hope to complete other fav directors' filmographies this year too!

books: Dogeaters by Jessica Hagedorn, Near to the Wild Heart by Clarice Lispector, The Essential Dykes to Watch Out For by Alison Bechdel, The Carnivorous Lamb by Agustín Gómez Arcos, The Bluest Eye by Toni Morrison -- ALL FICTION, CAN YOU BELIEVE!! I really loved a lot of the nonfiction I read last year too but these stories stuck with me the most/lingered on my mind the longest

music: I'm bad at keeping up with new music so I don't really have new releases to gush about like if I had to think of strictly 2023 releases I probably enjoyed Mitski + Kelela's albums the most but if I'm so real I didn't really come back to either of them often -- the artists I did consistently return to throughout the year were Danza Invisible, Chanel Beads, Hope Sandoval & The Warm Inventions, Pixies, and like all 3 of Kathleen Hanna's bands 🧘‍♀️

tv shows: I'm even worse at tv we know this but I got my sister hooked on early Survivor seasons so that's a win in my book 🙏 the last few months of the year I watched a lot of Boy Meets World + Portlandia randomly, probably bc I got sick for the first time in years n just wanted some easy watching that I knew I'd like.. OH and The State!! overall, yet another great year of watching irrelevant television that hasn't been on air for years 🙌

2023 was a really good year of reconnecting with friends + family for me!! I saw people I hadn't seen or spoken to in yearssssss just because of life and distance and whatnot but I've been more willing to go out of my way to make things happen/make my desire to reconnect #known and it's been really fruitful + reminds me of being in college doing the most just to go to a concert or meet up with some friends for the weekend IDK like the "inconvenience" of the process making the result that much sweeter or whateva :-) this one's silly and random but I cancelled my spotify premium subscription a few days ago (missed the billing cycle by a day so technically I'm still a premium user til the end of this month smh) which I've been meaning to do for a while but Finally I did it and I feel like this

[ronanlynchbf]

nine ppl you'd like to get to know better, tagged by @princekendallroy thank youuu, i feel like i haven't done one of these in ages ❤❗❗

1. three ships: hmm right now probably lumax bc i've been watching st recently and they're like two of my fave characters off of it and also they're just very cute <33 + caitvi bc i miss them soooo muchh. season two WHENNN!!! and then pynch bc they're always up there and also i do just love them sooo so so soo much (excluding most of greywaren..)

2. first ship: i have no idea actually i think in the previous one i did of this i said katniss and peeta thg??? and that's probably still correct bc i can't remember really liking any other couples before as much as i did them so. everlark it is <33

3. last song: afraid of heights by boygenius. hashtag lucy dacus girl forever n always 👆❗❗

4. last movie: i have not watched a movie in AGES i think the last one i watched was bottoms (2023) i literally haven't watched a movie since so that one. if u haven't watched it yet u r missing out truly IT'S SOOOOO GOOD ❗❗❗

5. currently reading: utopia avenue by david mitchell!!!!

6. currently watching: i am. still trying to get through the stranger things 4 finale.....it's just soooooo long 😭😭😭 and there r so many parts they could've just cut out to make it not be TWO AND A HALF HOURS. also i know eddie is going to die and it SUCKS. Badly. the duffer brothers and their one season curse for the sake of body count i would like 2 talk..

7. currently consuming: stroopwafels <333

8. currently craving: hot chocolate! it's raining outside and also my room gets very very cold so even if it's just to warm my hands up i'd say hot chocolate ☕ (<- ignore that that's probably coffee. 2 me rn it's hot chocolate.)

tagging @button-house @zeitztun @bunnyrabbitheartt @hangsawoman @danielsousa @gayarthur @ahalvedheart @horrormcvietwins & @churchwatch but as always, only if u want to obviously <33!!!!

[ghostbc-headcanons]

ok so swifty anon has inspired me to write some angst headcanons for the papas and their views on relationships and their sad girl song if I know a good one off the top of my head (I don’t know if these would count as sad girl song but they have good angst and crying potential so I’m calling them that).

primo: is single and likes it that way. He spent most of his young life looking after and mentoring his little brothers because nihil was absent and never got around to actually dating anyone as a teen/young adult since he basically had to be a father since age 12+. When he did get around to it he simply couldn’t stand having to care for yet another person if they were emotionally demanding and he realized that romance just wasn’t for him. He does have a few siblings of sin he regularly hangs out with in his garden or around the abbey and considers them better then any romantic relationship he could have and they make sure to invite him to as much stuff as they can so he doesn’t feel left out (even if de declines most of the stuff). It's disappointing to nihil’s eyes that he ended up like this since he would’ve been the best son to carry on the emeritus line but that ship has sailed and it’s directly his fault and he knows it.

Sad girl song: The Bug Collector by Haley Heyndrickx

secundo: craves unconditional romantic love and attention from someone sooooo bad. He never grew up with a real mom to teach him the ins and outs of what being in love is like so the next best thing he had was nihil and you can guess how that turned out for him. It’s not that nihil didn’t teach him to be respectful or kind to his partners but more so that nihil only really showed him the sexual side of relationships and never the work or romantic part of it so when he tried to seriously date people it didn’t go too well. The thing is though that at the beginning of the relationship when it was in a honeymoon-like phase he found that being around his partners and seeing how happy they looked when seeing him or how fulfilled and happy he felt when he could hold their hand or cuddle with them made him develop a craving for a serious romantic relationship and vulnerability with someone. Eventually all his relationships ended in disaster due to his inability to deal with harder times or strains on the relationship (plus a short temper to stressful situations) and eventually he gave up and just resorted to sexual relationships to dampen his loneliness. Bonus: he actually would’ve actually loved to have kids (either with a prime mover or a legitimate partner) but was terrified that they would hate him and he would end up being just as bad of a father as nihil was so decided against it.

Sad girl song: Wildest Dreams by Taylor Swift

Terzo: enjoys a good night out with some temporary partners but generally feels like he’s unloveable. It’s not that he doesn’t think his family or friends don’t love him but that if he opened his heart to someone they wouldn’t like what they saw. “He’s the most charming and charismatic one right? People would fall in love with that and not who he truly is, most people already do that anyway so what’s the point in trying?” He already puts up a mask in front of most people so to bring that down and be vulnerable to someone outside family is t e r r i f y i n g to him. He’s mainly worried about ending up loving someone and then losing them once they realize he’s not all that he’s chalked up to be. So in the end he has his reputation, his family, and his indulgences keeping him company.

Sad girl song: either The Night We Met by Lord Huron or All I Want by Kodaline

Copia: He’s open to a relationship with someone some day but is probably both the most jaded (and hopeful) out of his brothers that he’ll find the right person. He has undiagnosed autism due to the time period he was born in and the pressures of his job not allowing him to be/show himself as “different” in a way that might hinder him even though he it just does stuff a lil differently. Because he never learned about his condition and how it might affect how he acts in social situations and how to deal with that, he had a very hard time connecting with other kids his age (or even other adults later on for that matter). He was always seen as off-putting or strange for having unconventional interests (stuff like keeping rats or ballet and dance even though he’s a boy) and body language and sometimes speech. All of this put together meant that he had few to no friends for a long time and if kids asked him out it was as a joke or prank. Even as an adult, he’s never anybody’s first or even second pick for a date and unfortunately knows it. Over time, he learned what was making his body language seem so off and “corrects” most of it during social situations so he has more friends and more accepted now though his speech patterns can make him come off as awkward.

Sad girl song: either The Mute by Radical Face or Washing Machine Heart by Mitski

anon how could you do this to me. i am going to bawl my eyes out /pos

primo not being into romance cause of his upbringing feels so accurate to be honest. i love the idea that he's friends with a few siblings of sin he deserves the best friends in the whole wide world!!!! aghh!! (also his song omfg... i am adding it to my spotify right fucking now)

secondo GODDD I LOVE HIM SO MUCH... i want to give him such a hug i feel like he needs one. just the concept of him not knowing how to traverse a romantic relationship without eventually ruining it and resorting to not bothering at all is so. GHGHH. :( AND WILDEST DREAMS PAIRED WITH HIM AAHHH... HE YEARNS

terzo is absolutely afraid of intimacy and vulnerability i'm so glad i'm not the only one who thinks this because it's so true!!!! he's a showman!!! 100%!!! also in regards to the songs you chose i'm thinking about him getting really attached to someone but knowing it's like futile BUT still dwelling on it all the fucking time ahahahhhhh aghgjkbalj;skd;afh;sd

hey anon just to let you know i'm actually tearing up reading what you wrote for copia Oh my fucking god. i don't know how much i've talked about it or if i've mentioned it at all but i'm autistic and i see so much of myself in copia and HOLY SHIT i just love him so much and he deserves someone who loves him for all his 'strange' traits AHHHHHHHGHGHGHGHGHHGHGHHG

anyways thank you for sending this in i'm going to need 10-12 business days to recover

[dissectedgrrl]

okay fir starkid

whats ur favorite song and why?

who’s ur favorite character? and whats ur favorite moment from them

were you sad or happy with the ending, and what do you think it contributes?

(assuming u mean hatchetfield since thats my obsession atm)

omg okay so. i have so many favorite songs its ridiculous . . . . so i'll color code them. if the words r in color it means im still on this question 😭

from tgwdlm i LOVE join us and die, cup of roasted/poisoned coffee + not your seed

join us and die because it just feels so. CREEPY !!!!!!! and the scene itself is so great i love that charlotte's guts r spillin outta her eww

cup of roasted/poisoned coffee because again VERY CREEPY. and the choreo is so nice to watch. not to mention their VOCALS when they sing the last "hey mr. business how do ya, how do ya, how do ya doooooo ?" like omgggg

not your seed because i relate to it a bit AND the scene is so important 2 me. when alice says its "all your fault" while addressing bill . . . . she wasnt thinking abt bill when she thought that originally she was most likely saying that to herself and UGH my baby 😭

from black friday i <3 caliform.i.a + do you wanna play

caliform.i.a is js such a sweet song to me idk. you can tell how much lex and ethan care abt each other and hannah and and and. UGHHHH. in my mind they made it to california idc idc

do you wanna play because. EVIL. WOMEN !!!!!!! becky is so hot i mean what who wrote that. seriously tho i just love her voice sm UGGHHHH

from npmd my faves r hatchet town, nerdy prudes must die (omg they said the thing !!) + just for once

hatchet town because. good lord. THE VOCALSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS. send tweet

nerdy prudes must die bc the scene ?? the line delivery ?? the peak villainy radiating off of man jagerman ?? hello ?? omg ?? im in love ??

just for once because its from the pov of a character in an in universe play but it also shows us how ruth really feels. she just wants to be seen. me n her r twinning frfr

i have a lot of faves (becky, linda, ruth, richie, paul, zoey, bill, etc etc) but background characters always capture my heart so im gonna go with ziggy. they r sooooo important 2 me and they barely even talk omg. when they said "so is that a crime?" to being called out for being a drug dealer . . . . oh ziggy they could never make me hate u

i was happy with every ending !! i feel like theyre all so perfect especially black friday's. they always leave you wanting more

[lightningmickqueen]

f1 drivers as underrated and/or unreleased taylor swift songs that altered my brain chemistry

george russell: "i'd lie" because listen "he tells a joke, i fake a smile" he's the least funny person ever but i'd still laugh and also i definitely lie when people ask if i love him (i do but i refuse to admit it publicly if you tell anyone i said this i will lie!!!)

lando norris: "thug story" because of the second hand embarrassment but also i wouldn't be surprised if he knew every word

yuki tsunoda: "today was a fairytale" but unfortunately today was not a fairytale!!! maybe one day he will live to fairytale again but til then he's still feeling this magic in the air though i have faith and i believe

alex albon: "crazier" because listen this is like THE slow dance rom com song from the iconic masterpiece rom com the hannah montana movie and if that doesn't describe alex albon idk what does

nico hulkenberg: "lucky you" ok i love taylor and i know she was like 12 when she wrote this but this song is mid just like hulk <3 however unlike hulk , taylor is no longer mid !!!

lewis hamilton: "superman" i don't know if i need to explain this one i think it makes sense this is just him he'll save the world or go to work it's the same thing idk

pierre gasly: "we were happy" ah a song about young love. love when you're young. love when you were friends and you were young and in love . and then it stopped . no longer friends and young and in love. i wonder why that makes me think of pierre gasly.

esteban ocon: "i heart ?" because listen . "another mess i didn't plan, and i'll bet you thought you beat me" listen!!! not only is that esteban coded but also he's definitely blasting this in his driver room at alpine to piss off his childhood best friend turned rival turned roommate turned ???? aka a certain pierre gasly

logan sargeant: "who i've always been" listen u cannot deny that logan can drive and that's what he's here to do !! the easy ride was never his ambition

oscar piastri: "welcome distraction" SOLELY for the bit where she's like "gone and spilled my coffee trying to get the phone because i thought it might be you" because that is the most oscar piastri thing ever it's so adorably awkward

max verstappen: "beautiful eyes" listen his eyes are SO pretty they're actually illegal in 197 countries if you dont see the vision go to specsavers

charles leclerc: "sweeter than fiction" aka the reason i made this post. this song is SO charles coded and you know what ? ?? ? i will be there time and again and in that perfect weather it'll be like we don't remember the rain we thought would last forever and ever and there'll he'll stand ten feet tall i will say "I KNEW IT ALL ALONG"

lance stroll: "point of view" because from his point of view he's doing GREAT the grass is really green on his side of the street or maybe that's his car. who knows who's right but he thinks he's doing great so

carlos sainz: : "love they haven't thought of yet" it's very cute and honestly very 16 year old taylor but there is something just sooooo carlos about a song about not wanting what's normal but wanting the best and a fairytale even when it doesn't and can't exist <3

zhou guanyu: "superstar" he is literally too powerful for the f1 grid this man is the most well rounded well dressed mfer there and everyone else is no one special theyre invisible

sergio perez: "stupid boy" he is SO. literally any time you expect something decent or good he does the opposite. his most consistent trait. ugh

kevin magnussen: "R-E-V-E-N-G-E" it's on his list of things to do this week he's gonna make SOMEONE feel sorry. not sure who yet but it'll happen

valtteri bottas: "matches" but it's his attitude towards mercedes also "i gave you space you took my place and gave it to her" he may be besties with lewis but he will never like george <3 that's ok tho he looks great w a mullet and he's gonna burn it down

mick schumacher: i don't want to lose his face i don't want to wake up one day and not remember what time erased and i don't want to turn around because i'm not scared of what love gave me and took away and i don't want to lose his face

sebastian vettel: "just south of knowing why" listen it's about driving all night searching for something you'll never find he's definitely done that irl and also he doesn't have a plan he doesn't have a map he doesn't even know if he's ever going back

fernando alonso: "only the young" i know you're doubting me but this is about winning and overcoming the odds and also only the young can run (from him)

[mrschwartz]

okay hi. i hate being succinct (like someone that starts with alex and ends with bitch) but here are my summarized first thoughts on the album

mirrorball: hooked me in from first listen when it was released as a single, that repeating motif underneath the whole thing, the melancholy that seeps from the music and the lyrics, those strings at the end and alex's falsetto spat in my face and called me a bitch. 9.5/10

i ain't quite: it's good, it's a good song. the "waaa" harmony def scratches an itch, and the best part of the whole thing is "the spare set of tingles will race up your spine if i get it my way" but it kinda feels like it's building towards something that never quite delivers nvjdnjdnf maybe that's the intention. but you know. it's good but my least fave so far. 7/10

sculptures: WHAT IN THE HOLY FUCK IS THIS. god jvfnjdkjkcnfjnfj i'll never ever forget the first time i listened to this. my jaw was on the fucking floor. the instrumentals are orgasmic. fucking period. it made me cry And made me horny. alex's vocal delivery and the lyrics paired with the music give me such a pleasant eerie feeling if that makes sense. "gasp [gasp!] and roll your eyes" is so vndnjfnfjnjf and i'm fucking incoherent towards an indie rock British band Arctic Monkeys (tm) song having an honest to god bass drop. never ever thought this would be a direction they'd be interested in but i'm so glad they are. 10/10

jet skis: i've only had this song for a day and a half and if anything happened to it i'd kill everyone in this room and then myself. the funk-ish blues-ish tone of the guitar is my best friend. alex's voice is a warm hug. the lyrics are sooooo bittersweet. this is the one that stuck with the most after my first listen (along with sculptures ofc), "jet skis on the moat / they shot it all in cinemascope" (with the instrumentals underneath!) is such an earworm. 9.5/10

body paint: body paint. how do i even begin to explain body paint. alex's voice is really impressive in this, the chorus and the solo in the end fucking scalp me every time (also loved it from first listen as a single like mirrorball). the lyricssssssssssssssss kill me. i'm a sucker for the persona/character/double life thing, i've said it a hundred times lol so i'm def biased towards it. the only thing that keeps me from giving it a 10 is that they gave me a taste of what a full on out of the water true rock n roll outro sounds like in the live shows (esp the brussels one) and they took it away from me here, but i do understand why it's more subdued in the studio too as it fits the overall vibe of the album more. so. 9.5/10

the car: if this song was just the folk-ish fingerpicking (GOD THE FINGERPICKING) and drums motif it would still be amazing but they went beyond. FOR US. that distorted guitar at the end paired with the haunting strings is very climatic. i def still need some time with the words to maybe get closer to what he's getting at but i love them! 9/10

big ideas: i love you big ideas i love you. the piano stabs and the darker strings (cello and double bass) particularly stand out to me and tick me in such a specific way. god i can't. i've talked about the lyrics (it's been like a week and i already have matured my opinion on them nfjnjfvn) which are heartbreaking in a beautiful way. the crunchy guitar solo is heavenly. alex's chuckle after "we had them out of their seats" shot me right between the eyes. 9.5/10

hello you: oh why hello tlsp song what are you doing around these parts jnjfjnfvjg that keyboard thingy that opens it and that appears again in the chorus (how i wish i knew music theory lol) is very pleasing and the guitar backs it up beautifully. ALEX'S VOICE;;;; def a stand out in the album (esp "why not rewind to rawborough snooker club" godddddddddd). i also need some more time with the lyrics in this one to get more what's he's talking about here but i have my theories and they're devastating fvjfvnjgn. 9.5/10

mr schwartz: finger fucking picking man. but surprisingly my fave part about this track are the drums! i love how retro they sound. reminds me of some sort of specific 40s-60s vibe i'm not well versed enough in to pinpoint exactly what it is or what it'd be called. def bossa nova but not Just bossa nova you know? the lyrics are about the persona/character/double life thing so yeah yeah ofc i love them and the way they break my heart. great song. 9/10

perfect sense: this song sounds like a goodbye. need i say more????? "if that's what it takes for me to say good night then that's what it takes" what a fucking Gorgeous melody my god. this one also sounds like it had the potential to crescendo into a grandiose orchestral solo moment in the outro and then it didn't, which i'm still scratching my head about but i'm not that mad about it, bc in the end it's just such a sweet sweet tune (bittersweet, but more sweet than bitter i think). i love the way it sounds i love the way it makes me feel. they just get how to do closers man, they do! 9.5/10

[maknaesdancersrappers]

i had to take a nap bc this chapter actually tired me out and made me feel sick 😭😭😭 YOUR WRITING IS SOOO GOOD like can we just take a sec to praise you? to be able to make your audience feel the same genuine feelings as your character is just mind blowing like you’re really THAT girl 💅🏾👏🏾👏🏾

idkkkk jae is looking v sus i cant deny that but i went through the playlist you put together for devoted and analyzed some of the songs to see if i could come up with a theory and honestly i still don’t think jae is gonna hurt y/n….

hEAR ME OUT !! dr. jeon legit said while y/n is the trigger she’s also the solution and you’ve made it very clear that no matter what jae will never hurt her…at least physically. he’s def done some things he shouldn’t have and i wouldn’t be surprised if the wedding is put on pause but i think they’ll find their way back to each other or some type of understanding like in college.

when y/n was chatting to jae’s mom she said something along the lines of how she’ll stay forever + in an open forum ask she said the only reason she would leave him is if he were to kill someone…which to our knowledge he hasn’t sooooo🤷🏽‍♀️

#teamjae until the end !!!

also got my eyes on kun….one of the songs on the playlist really gave me the vibes he’s still in love with y/n so now he’s on the suspect list for sure bc there’s no way he’s just gonna let her go like that? especially now that she knows the truth + she knows that he technically didn’t leave her willingly…what if he thinks this is his way back into her life?

this fic is just tooooo good and i’m v happy to have you back :) 🫶🏾🫶🏾

girl istg ur one of the best readers to have bc u just deep dive into every fic and dissect everything like i imagine u like this:

AHAHAHAHHAAH

i luv u for it!!!! thank u so much bb and im glad to be back here uwu

[rosieartsie]

15 Questions, 15 Mutuals

I was tagged by @ceph-the-ghost-writer soooo here we go!

1. Are you named after anyone? Lol technically yes. It's perhaps a little revealing, and even if you guess right plz continue to call me Rose lol, but I was named after a very specific, very popular Duran Duran song and the character in that very specific, very popular Duran Duran song.

2. When was the last time you cried? I've cried a couple times in the last couple days out of frustration with my body putting me through the ringer. I've got EDS and GERD and have yet to figure out how to manage and medicate correctly for those things, sooooo I've been SUFFERING and lately can't get to sleep easily. So, yeah, I cry a lot when I'm alone at night and can't get to sleep.

3. Do you have kids? Nope. It's not a for sure plan, but my polycule jokes enough about our hypothetical children that maybe one day when we've settled down together we might have some babies.

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot? Yeah lmao, all the time.

5. What’s the first thing you notice about people? Hmmm... I tend to notice how easily people laugh, not necessarily how their laugh sounds, but how relaxed they are about joking and laughing. Also I'm a geek about long eyelashes and hair, make me go 'prettyyyy'

6. What’s your eye color? Brown! It's my husband's favorite thing about me lol

7. Scary movies or happy endings? Both! I love horror so much, but I'm also a huge fan of happy endings, especially when the people who get the happy ending are really put through the ringer to get there.

8. Any special talents? Uhhhh... I mean, I'm an artist, so drawing? I'm ambidextrous about most things (In fact there's a lot of right handy things I prefer to do with my left hand)... I'm a pretty good cook?

9. Where were you born? London, England

10. What are your hobbies? Writing, reading, art, I used to dance a lot but haven't lived in a place that allows me the space for that (I miss it all the time).

11. Have you any pets? I have two rats, Wraith and Marlowe and a bunch of fish, the most notable of the collection a pair of goldfish named Knuckles and Shadow.

12. What sports do you play/have played? I used to play volleyball and soccer. It's not considered a "sport" persay, but in college I was an aerialist. Did aerial silk, lyra and trapeze for fun. I was never good enough to be a performer, but I had a good time and got wicked strong

13. How tall are you? 5'6" which is apparently tall cuz I am the tallest of my polycule :3

14. Favorite subject in school? In high school? Art and English, in college, physical theatre/movement courses

15. Dream job? Mmmm... I'd like to have two jobs, one where I can be active and contribute to something I feel is useful and good, like local gardens or something, the other is to write and make art. Time for tagssss, no pressure on these! @magefaery @theskeletonprior @ironicimmigrant @sarahlizziewrites @bellisadinosaur @eeriedeer @muddpaw @duck-n-clover

15 people is a lot of people to tag... lol, okay

[la0hu]

5 star review

hall of fame: 8.5/10

seungmin's vocals are insane this album and he deserved this album opening line

THE CHORUS growly distorted electric guitar heavy bass HEART EYES PLEASE!!! PLEASE WHAT THE FUCK

chan's postchorus melody (and in the outro) is so fun, it's got choral/circus-y vibes if that makes sense

felix's weird xylophone raps + jeongin's panning ah's. it's giving me maze of memories >:)

the man on the moon clip.... chan must be proud of that one

this feels like cheese's cousin and will probably be on loop

s-class: 8/10

not the hugest fan of changbin's opener, shockingly enough

hyunjin's first line is the best attention grabber, soooooo well done

goofy ass sound effects in the first verse but i'm not complaining

"swerving i'm speeding on serpent rooooad" i think i floated a couple inches in the air the first time i heard this prechorus it's sooooo fucking good -- and this is coming from someone who normally hates the melodic prechorus thing in like every other song (god's menu, venom, freeze, etc.)

the chorus... i hated it the first time i heard it. but now it's catchy. also in context with the rest of the song it makes complete sense to me

controversial opinion(?): i love changbin's enunciated simple rap over the old school beat, and i especially love how han's track layers some classic samples on top

SECOND CHORUS DISTORTION suuuuuuch a good call... otherwise the chorus would be boring but it's enough of a change-up that it also foreshadows the upcoming parts of the song that stretch and shift the typical song structure

pre-dance break rap exchange is not my fav but it keeps the energy up anyway

DANCE BREAK IS GOOD!!!!!! love the production

title track ranking: better than thunderous, maniac, case 143 (duh); not quite god's menu level of shocking and not as tasteful as back door

item: 9.5/10

the productionnnnn.......... i'm drooling

the rap tone from changbin is so bratty and the pacman/game theme of the song is so funny

i wish had better words for the backtrack sounds bc i want to point out all the sounds and their textures; like the high-hat percussion beat which is super similar to the one they used in domino; and this heavy dark crunchy synth sound they keep using

FELIX GROWLY CHORUS. cheap thrills maybe but my fav part of the song

the fucking autotune felix section "celebraaaate" is so bad that it's funny which makes it perfect for the song. it's like jeongin moaning in N/S do you understand

second prechorus + postchorus is a little boring idk why -- that's why it's not 10/10

repetitive lee know before felix's final chorus is inspired

domino's annoying but lovable younger sibling. will be on loop

super bowl: 8/10

digusting beat, very excellent (makes me think of doodle)

the lyrics are so insanely corny it's DJ VXNILLX at his best i swear to god

the nct-esque chanting lmao... sm wake up!

"aw this shit's so bussing" WHY LMAO (edit: i have learned this is not what he's saying but it's what everyone is hearing so)

honestly. the ASMR whispering is so cringy to me but it's also amazing genius. and also so embarrassing but also hot. very confusing stuff

bridge is so out of place but who cares tbh

topline: 6/10

very fun almost "throwback" hiphop type of sound, i love whatever they sampled for the backtrack

"cause we don't give a fu--" we cheered.

tiger jk is a good rapper! :)

maybe strange opinion but hyunjin's second rap was the best of all the raps imo

it's a good song, but it's a little plain for me (maybe just in comparison to the other songs); i'm probably gonna skip it a lot

dlc: 7/10

it's CUTE! it sits at the same table as blueprint, run, mixtape: oh, ex if that makes sense

i think this has better production than the other changbin songs i'm aware of, actually; it still has his trademark sort of wistful bitter melancholy but the sound is a little more diverse than stuff like sorry i love you or streetlight

the instrumental beat drop sections i like more than i thought i would, especially the breakdown towards the end

one criticism: i would've introduced the "la la" sample much earlier in the song, it feels a little out of nowhere in the last third

i actually love this kind of skz song so it'll probably have longer lasting power with me

get lit: 7.5/10

this song comes out of the gate swinging jesus fucking christ

love the club banger backbeat that's like 100% muffled bass

this is insane but i would've preferred an even harder drop from the bassline for the chorus

the mumbling line hyunjin + felix have with the muffled beat is so good

last drop is CRAAAAAAZY!!! CHAN IS BARKING

collision: 5.5/10

why am i suddenly in a dimly lit smoky jazz bar with bronze/gold details and red roses everywhere

i saw someone on twitter say smth about the sax and i have to emphasize that this is clearly a trumpet

a rare bangchan win from me: his verse was the best imo

the main chorus melody is extremely plain but still very sweet and catchy; it feels like a song to slow dance to after a date night at a fancy steak place. tbh not my cup of tea but still nice

fnf: 8.5/10

i cried at literally the first line. my dog just died sue me

normally i don't like how chan arranges guitar-heavy production but this song did a great job without feeling too mixtape: time out

prechorus doing something to my heart that hurts

the chorus is so sad to me... i think watching the intro for 5star and seeing chan's thoughts on this track casts this whole song into a different, more complicated vibe. like the meaning behind "i'm catching up" when singing about death and grief -- that's actually really good, and i really like how this line is "stuttered" or halted in the first two choruses, and only gets pronounced in full for the very last chorus, bc they've literally "caught up"

i also really like how for the "uh-uh-uh" lines, the melody shifts into a minor key -- that's what's keeping the chorus interesting and from falling into bland territory

second verse is deeply upsetting for me. yes i'm still thinking about my dead dog

the eagle cry is a little silly/on the nose but i think it's a sweet touch bc i know how earnest it is

also just generally speaking, i'm a sucker for songs whose lyrics/topic are really fucking sad but are musically very upbeat (which is why i love txt's discography so much too)

outro/final chorus very good, especially the full "i'm catching up!" followed by the falsetto...

also this song activates my synethesia like crazy for that fresh spring green, so i will be listening to this a bunch

youtiful / the sound / mixtape: time out 0 / 10

these pissed me off that's all i have to say



FINAL THOUGHTS

first thing: i will say this, and it will be deeply upsetting for stays who loved skz for their pre-noeasy stuff, but it's true: chan's production and musical direction was heavily influenced by other things when he was first starting out because he was still learning, but i would say starting most obviously with oddinary, this is actually what skz's (read: chan's) personal production style is like -- and this is what skz's future releases will sound like too. there's much less imitation in production style in this album, and if it's there, it's more of a reference or allusion like in topline, and not so much a participation in a genre tradition. this makes sense, bc they've been saying repeatedly how they don't want to be defined by a genre, but want to pioneer their own -- even if it sounds really fucking weird. stuff like victory song, levanter, even side effects felt like they could've been made by other artists bc chan was still getting his production legs under him, but stuff like god's menu, domino, and case 143 is where he started pulling together a personal style.

i would characterize go live as a demonstration of skz's flashes of genius while still borrowing the sound profile of genre to use as training wheels; noeasy was them slowly playing with developing a unique sound and practicing songwriting; and 5 star is them doubling down on the production and songwriting skills they've developed since noeasy. this is their most "matured" set of songs and you can hear the difference. it's not necessarily better than the other two albums in terms of personal taste, but i think it's obvious how much work they've done the past two years to be able to come up with and execute the 5 star tracklist, and listening to it i feel like i can see 100% the intention behind the execution, which is admirable even if you hate the music. luckily i don't!

you can tell that all of them figured out what their particular talent is (what makes them "special" ha) bc they echoed what they did in the past, when those talents were first apparent. s class has a lot in common with god's menu, in vibe and structure. item is the successor to domino which skz admitted themselves, bc they were aware of how special that kind of song is. hall of fame and super bowl feels adjacent to stuff like cheese, where it's all attitude and/or aggression. felix has leaned into his voice being used as an "accent" or "point", lee know has a lot of "shouting" tone power, han's songwriting is getting more diverse (with get lit) and more defined (with collision), etc. it's not that they're copying what they've done before, because more stays would be happy with this album if that were the case, which judging by my mutuals' reactions, many are NOT; it's more that they've developed a self-awareness as artists. this album felt like evidence that everything they say in interviews about their artistic development is true, it's not just posturing: they work hard to change, and they'd much rather be continually weird and alienating than stay the same and grow complacent, even if it pisses of their fanbase and most of the general public.

personally i'm extremely relieved because 1) i obviously loved nearly all the songs but also 2) i was terrified maxident and The Sound were going to signify the BTS-ification of stray kids, a la dynamite / butter / permission to dance. 5 star solidly put those worries to rest thank fucking god. maybe my music taste is broken but i get Weird skz forever so i win

extra notes:

the "switchup" happens in a lot of songs in this album, most obviously in s class, but i'm not 100% convinced it's them capitalizing on any trend (like the switchups that nmixx is known for), since they've done switchups like this before in god's menu & back door and other songs too; for me it feels more like chan playing w the patterning he did in god's menu, bc 5 star as an album has a lot of homages to their go live era

everyone got a lot better at everything imo -- particularly in vocals; seungmin did a standout job on all of his lines obviously, but i also noticed lee know's voice has a lot more support and actually chan's lines i would put in the top three too.

live vocals from their stages are also WAY improved; i'm guessing the maniac tour gave them a lot of experience

[corvidaenightcrawler]

Idk how long ago it was but a little while ago you sent me an ask asking if you could yell at me about a song AND I'M DYING TO KNOW WHAT SONG AND WHY YOU LOVE IT PLEASE CORVUS MUSIC FUELS MY SOUL AJAHBSNSJSJ

SHIT. FUCK. Sorry. I got highly distracted by so many things but I AM HERE NOW AND READY TO TO S C R E A M.

Alright. The Hush Sound. That's who made this song and they have many other absolute bangers up their sleeve but this one is particularly special to me for s number of reasons.

IT'S CALLED, DRUMROLL PLEASE: 🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁 Sweet Tangerine!

This. Song. Omfg.

It starts with no leadup, kinda jarring, but SO fun, like it comes on in a playlist and I go N U T S. It PAINTS SUCH A VIVID PICTURE LIKE THERE'S THIS GUY OUT IN THE RAIN AND OH?? There's a girl he's after but she's not interested?? It's so mysterious and has such a good swing and THE INSTRUMENTALS aaagHHGHhGHHG they hit just right!!!!! AAAAAA

It makes me feel EVIL AS HELL. It's sooooo devilish, like, there's this constant feeling of dread and malice but it's like the ultimate enemies to lovers to enemies again and I just. Agk. Augh. Oogh. Ack. I feel like a supervillain in a noir movie when I listen to it, LIKE I'M A HORRIBLE PERSON BUT I WANT THE GIRL AND I'LL DO ANYTHING TO HAVE HER.

It has SUPER stalker vibes. Like, the BEST part of the song is when the instrumentals get all quiet and give way to some gentle sleigh bells, and THE LYRICS AAAAAAA

"Crept through the curtains, as quick as the cold wind, slowly exploring the room where you sleep. The stare of your portrait, the passing of your scent, left me no choice but to STAY"

AND THEN IT GETS ALL LOUD AND INTENSE AND THE VOCALS ARE SO PASSIONATE AND IT JUST SOUNDS SO CREEPY AND THE INSTRUMENTALS GO SO HARD LIKE OMFG you just have to hear it, the lyrics are so creepy and have big love-absorbed vampire vibes like damn I picture myself as a monster looking over the bed of a poor dame and wanting to eat her, that's the vibe.

This. Guy's. Voice. It feels so perfect and I love the pitch and the way it melds with the backtrack feels just right, that's something that The Hush Sound has always been good at, is making the pace and intensity and everything feel just right, like it hits at the perfect time and I just want to marinate it forever

What gauges a good song for me is if it invokes a physical feeling AND THIS ONE SURE DOES AAAAAA

Like, I can feel this song in my ribcage, and I can picture it in my head, there's parts that make my breathing feel light and so many emotions are just going nuts at the same time, and it's all because of how his voice sounds.

I wanna HEAR THIS SONG FOR THE FIRST TIME AGAIN SO BADDDDD

Let's not even COVER the fact that it's PERFECT FOR ANIMATICS. Like, I can imagine the blorbos from my shows to this perfectlyYYYY