#the skull bones are not a solid thing in that your skull is made of MANY different bones that are almost... welded together

[uncanny-tranny]

One of the reasons I think it's so important to foster intellectual curiosity and, ultimately, learning and a love for learning is how it subtly changes the very way you interact with and understand the world around you.

It's funny, because I spent time just to hunt and find a skull in Skyrim just so I could rotate it in my inventory and admire how detailed it was for five minutes, pleased about how I could point out and name individual bones (they even included the individual cranial sutures! Including my favourite suture (lambdoid suture)). I'm now trying to hunt for a skeleton so I can spend even more time admiring it. There's something funny and empowering about how the way I interact with things has changed with my learning.

If there is nothing else you do, learn. It doesn't matter what you learn, just seek out information. I know for some, a love of learning was almost punished in environments like school, so start out with things you are inspired by, things that deeply pique your interest. Learning isn't a punishment, it doesn't have to be scary. Whatever you want to learn about is worth the time and effort it takes to understand it.

[snail-day]

Haze

Sum: Epilogue to Hysteria

Yan!SatoSugu x Reader

WC: 13k (I deeply apologize)

TW: Yandere Behaviors, Reader Dies, Suicide, Improper use of medication, Medical AU, Noncon, Infantalization, Miscarriage, Narcotics, Captivity, Forced Relationship, Reader is going through it, MDNI, ANGST. Dead Dove: Do Not Eat

A/n: thank you @pink-cakes-and-treats for listening to me ramble about my thoughts about this so much, also for the rest of you that asked for a good ending...here it is.

The world felt too big. The lights, too bright. The bed beneath you, too vast, swallowing you whole. Falling down a well—like Alice tumbling into the unknown—yet instead of cold air slicing past, warmth enveloped every inch, layers of soft blankets cocooned you in a thick comfort that verged on suffocation. Yet, beneath it all, something in your mind felt irrevocably wrong.

As if your mind was drowning in an ocean of disorientated static. 

The kind that crinkles and crackles like an old television screen, sizzling along the edges of your skull, humming against your bones in waves of distant white noise. Thoughts tried to rise, tried to form, but they slipped too easily through the curves of your mind - dripping down, vanishing into the untethered abyss of memories that refused to take shape.

Nothing was sticking. It hadn’t for the past few days. Nothing made sense. Blinking felt laborious, each movement sluggish, your lashes weighed down as sterile overhead lights glared harshly, searing your retinas with their artificial glow. You tried to focus, but the world refused to stay still—softening, sharpening, then blurring again—flickering in and out like the remnants of a half-forgotten dream.

Something was wrong.

Your limbs refused to obey, heavy and unresponsive, as if they no longer belonged to you. A dull, insistent pressure pressed into your temples, pulsing in time with the faint, rhythmic beep... beep... beep of a nearby monitor.

Where… are you?

Your mind scrambled, clawing through the fog, reaching for something—anything—solid. But all it found was emptiness. A hollow absence where something important should be.

A scream echoed in the distance.

No, not a sound. Not a noise.

A feeling.

A desperate, clawing, silent terror digging its fingers into your ribs, shaking you, demanding that you - 

Wake up.

Nothing answered.

The panic, slow and insidious, seeped in, curling its fingers around your throat. Your pulse quickened, your breath hitched - your body recognized the fear before your mind could. You knew something was wrong. Something inside you knew.

You tried to shift, but your muscles refused to cooperate. A dull ripple of discomfort ran through you, a sluggish protest of aching limbs and numb skin - Fingers tightened around your hand.

The sensation shot through you like an electric shock, sharp and immediate. Heat pressed against your palm, the unmistakable warmth of lips brushing over your skin in something gentle - something aching.

You forced your head to turn, each movement sluggish, uncoordinated - like swimming through molasses. The world lagged behind, colors smearing at the edges of your vision until, finally, your gaze settled on— White hair. Snow-bright. Almost glowing beneath the sterile fluorescent lights, like some ethereal specter - an angel poised between salvation and sorrow.

Were you dead?

For a moment, the thought lingered. A part of you almost wished it were true. Anything to quiet the thing inside you - the thing that clawed at your ribs, wove its fingers through your veins, coiling tighter with every shallow breath. A restless, insatiable presence, scratching against your heartstrings, whispering in a voice you couldn’t quite decipher.

Anxious. Begging.

Something was trying to break free.

And then - blue. Eyes like a summer sky far too brilliant, too sharp, slicing through the haze searching your face for answers, longing. 

Satoru.

Your best friend.

But something was wrong.

His eyes, why were they red? Had he been crying?

A flicker of confusion stirred in your chest, Satoru didn’t cry. Satoru would grin, laugh, and tease. Satoru was the playful, loveable one, yet he was watching you, unmoving, the grip on your hand tight. His long, pale fingers trembled. Soft pink lips moved, forming words too soft to reach you, soundless incantations spilling from his mouth - A prayer or perhaps even a curse. Just barely, like a breath stolen by the wind, a name fell from his lips.

"Suguru."

The name slipped through the air, familiar yet somehow distant.

Suguru?

Ah, your husband. Warmth unfurled in your chest, small and fragile, like the dying embers of a long-burning fire. Satoru and Suguru - best friends since forever. If Satoru was here, then Suguru must be too. Right?

Suguru. Your Suguru. Sweet, kindhearted, safe.

But something inside you—that thing, that restless, clawing monster curled deep beneath your ribs—shrieked. A wrongness slithered through your thoughts. A dissonance, like a note played off-key, as if looking at a picture you knew should be whole but seeing only fractures. Your mind reached for him, for the feeling of him, the strength in those steady hands of his. A memory struggled to surface, rising through the fog breaching the suffice as the drowning thing it was grasping for air.

Documents. A trembling hand. Ink smudged against paper. Fingers curled too tightly around a pen.

The monster inside you thrashed.

Then…softness.

A smile, small and instinctual, formed before you even understood why.

Oh. Right.

Your marriage license.

So why did something in you still scream?

You had been so nervous that day. Your hands had trembled so badly that Suguru had to cover them with his own, guiding your fingers across the paper. Helping you sign because you couldn’t stop shaking. So why did the memory feel like it was slipping through your grasp like something was missing or wrong?

"Hey, princess"

Satoru’s voice rang as it pulled you back to the present, light and teasing, laced with an unsteady waver in each trembling word. His grin—boyish, familiar—was wobbly at the edges as he pressed the back of his hand to your forehead.

Why wouldn’t this feeling go away?

This dread. This creature inside you burning so brightly. 

"Sa-toru," your voice rasped. The syllables felt wrong in your mouth, tongue sluggish as it rolled through the vowels, throat too dry choking on every sound. Words weren’t coming out the way they should.

Why weren’t things working?

Why did everything feel wrong?

Satoru clicked his tongue, shaking his head as he rested his chin in his palm.

"Y’know, princess, you had me worried there. I was this close to calling it - figured you were done for, gonna leave me stuck with him for the rest of my life."

An exaggerated pout lined his lips that did little to mask the way his fingers twitched. You blinked at him, the words slow to process. The fog in your mind hadn’t lifted, not really, but something about his presence felt safe, reliable, a lighthouse in this haze.

"Sa-toru," you rasped again, the name tasting foreign in your mouth. His teasing grin twitched, faltered for just a second before he leaned in closer, his bright blue eyes flickering over your face like he was mapping out every change, every shift in your expression.

"That’s me, sweetheart," he said smoothly, flashing you a grin as if he wasn’t completely unraveling inside. "Figured you’d miss me first - ‘course you would, I’m your favorite, right?"

Something about that didn’t feel right. Not wrong, exactly, but something tugged at you, something missing, something empty.

Wake up. That voice, those claws continued deep inside you. Scratching, crawling to the surface just to plummet back down to the abyss.  You frowned, trying to focus, the ache in your skull pulsed harder, pushing your thoughts back down before you could grasp them. Satoru exhaled, watching you struggle, and his smile softened just slightly.

"Okay, let’s run some tests, yeah?" he murmured, voice dropping into something more careful, more measured. But then, like a switch, his teasing lilt returned, masking that fear rescinding inside himself. "Don’t worry, princess, this is just to make sure your brain didn’t completely short-circuit. Wouldn’t want you drooling on yourself just yet."

You scowled, the reaction automatic, and Satoru’s grin widened like he’d just won something.

"Oh? Look at that! Someone’s still got some bite in ‘em," he mused, his thumb lazily stroking the back of your hand. "Maybe you didn’t fry up there after all."

Your scowl deepened, and the corners of his mouth twitched. His bedside manners truly needed some work. 

"Alright, first test, nice and easy," he said, holding up two fingers. "How many fingers am I holding up?"

You stared. It should’ve been simple. Easy. 

But the answer didn’t come.

Your head throbbed, thoughts slipping like water through your fingers, the shape of numbers nothing but static in your mind. The more you tried to force the answer, the further it slipped, like trying to remember a dream the second you wake up.

Your breathing hitched. Your stomach turned.

"I—" The syllable barely escaped, weak, unsure.

Satoru didn’t move, didn’t rush you, just hummed under his breath, as if he had already expected this.

"No biggie, don’t stress it," he said, waving his fingers dismissively. "It’s not like I needed you to count anyway. I can do that all by myself."

The teasing should’ve been annoying. Instead, it kept the panic from swallowing you whole. Kept that beast inside you from crawling through your throat. Kept the tears at bay. 

"Let’s try something else," he continued smoothly. He tapped a finger against his chin, pretending to think, then pointed at you with a smirk. "What’s your name?"

A simple question. The simplest of all.

But nothing came.

The realization hit you like ice water, a slow, creeping horror climbing up your spine.

Your mouth parted, but no words formed.

You knew you had a name—you should know it—but it was like trying to grasp smoke. It slipped through your fingers and refused to stick. Your lips trembled, breath catching in your throat.

Satoru saw it.

And for the first time, his expression truly faltered.

The smirk faded.

The playful gleam in his eyes dulled, just slightly. His long, pale fingers tightened ever so slightly around yours before he clicked his tongue, releasing your hand, and leaned back, stretching his arms over his head as none of this bothered him in the slightest.

"Wow. You really did a number on yourself, huh? Forgetting your name? Tsk, tsk, princess." He let out a dramatic sigh, shaking his head. "Guess I’ll have to give you a new one."

You stared at him, heart still hammering, but his words pulled you just enough from the sinking pit of panic.

"Ooooh, how about ‘Dumpling’? No, wait—Sunshine—nah, too generic." He tapped his chin in mock thought. "Oh! I know - ‘Satoru’s Favorite Person in the Whole Wide World.’ Bit of a mouthful, but you’ll get used to it."

Despite the terror twisting in your chest, something about his voice -ridiculous, insufferable voice - kept you from spiraling completely.

"What about Suguru?"

The question was quieter. Measured. Satoru’s teasing lilt softened, but his gaze didn’t leave your face. The name struck something inside you, something distant, something deep. Suguru. Your husband. Your sweet, kindhearted husband. And like a memory from another lifetime, you saw him—Suguru’s hands over yours. Suguru whispering against your temple. Suguru’s voice, warm and fond, calling you—

"Of course," you murmured, a small smile ghosting your lips. "Suguru… he’s my husband."

For a second, the room felt too still.

Satoru didn’t move.

Didn’t breathe.

Then, with a slow exhale, he slumped forward, forehead pressing against the blankets beside your hand.

"Shit," he whispered, voice muffled.

You blinked at him, confused.

"What’s wrong?"

He shook his head against the various plush blankets, a groan escaping his lips as he burrowed his face deeper into the sheets. 

"Nothing," he muttered. "You remembered Suguru. That’s… good."

His fingers curled into the sheets, gripping them tightly, his shoulders stiff. Then, just as quickly, he snapped back up, plastering a lopsided grin on his face like he wasn’t just falling apart a second ago.

"Well, that settles it. You’re half-broken, but we’ll work with what we’ve got." He reached over and flicked your forehead - lightly, but enough to make your brow furrow. "I’ll go get Suguru. Pretty sure he’ll be happy you didn’t wake up hating his guts."

Something about the way he said it felt wrong.

But you didn’t get the chance to ask, because Satoru was already standing, stretching dramatically before turning toward the door. Before he stepped out, his voice dropped to something almost too soft to hear.

"Suguru better be right about this."

And then he was gone. The room felt different without him. Too still, too empty. The kind of silence that settled under your skin, stretched itself thin over your ribs, pressing into your lungs. Satoru was gone for what felt like forever. Time moved strangely, warping at the edges as you lay there, staring at the IV in your arm, the slow drip of liquid pooling into your veins. The steady tick of the clock anchored you, but barely. Each second bled into the next, a sluggish, drawn-out eternity. You tried closing your eyes, hoping that would at least calm the unease curling in your chest. Instead, the moment your lids shut, scorches of bright light flashed behind them, too sharp, too sudden, forcing you to snap them open again.

A headache threatened to bloom, but something else lingered beneath it.

A feeling.

The faintest echo of something soft - a kiss pressed to your forehead, warm, familiar. Muscle memory, perhaps. A habit long-engrained, something your body recognized even when your mind couldn’t.

You turned your head slightly, catching sight of the mirror on the far side of the room.

That was… you.

Your reflection blinked back at you, dazed and uncertain. Recognition flickered, though it felt distant, like staring at a childhood home you hadn't visited in years.

At least you knew yourself. That had to mean something.

A soft exhale escaped your lips, burrowing deeper into the blankets, allowing the warmth to cocoon you. Suguru would be here soon. He would make everything better. He always did. And Satoru…

Satoru was a good friend.

You let your gaze drift to the ceiling, counting the tiny, glowing stars plastered there. Numbers didn’t come easily, slipping from your grasp the same way your name had earlier, but you kept looking anyway, following each little dot of light like it might steady the tremor beneath your ribs.

Outside, voices broke the stillness.

Muffled, tense.

The walls weren’t thick enough to block them out completely, though the words slipped in and out, only fragments reaching you.

"You said - "

"—not how it was supposed to go—"

"Things aren’t okay - "

Something about the tone sent a shiver crawling up your spine. That monster deep inside you sank into the abyss once more. As if the conversation, it recognized, recognized more things than you did. 

The door creaked open, and there stood Suguru.

Another wave of warmth spread through your chest, comforting and safe, even as something deep inside you—a creature you couldn't name—trembled in fear. You could almost hear it, a faint, howling whisper buried beneath the haze of your thoughts, clawing at your ribs as if warning you of something you couldn’t remember.

But Suguru’s presence made you feel safe.

Suguru had always been your safe place. 

Hadn’t he? Still, something was… off. Not because of the quiet, caged thing inside you, not because of some nameless fear pressing against the back of your mind.

No—Suguru.

He stood there, unmoving, his violet eyes flickering between something unreadable and something that looked dangerously close to relief. His chest rose and fell in shallow breaths, like he had been holding it in for years.

Like he hadn’t seen you in years.

But… you had seen him.

Hadn’t you?

When was the last time?

The question fluttered through your thoughts, weightless and empty, and yet, before you could grasp it, it was gone, slipping through your fingers like water.

After what felt like an eternity—though time had started to feel strange, stretched and warped—his shoulders dropped. The tension in his frame melted away, his entire body sagging, the rigid set of his jaw loosening just slightly.

And then he moved.

Slow steps carried him to your bedside, where you lay wrapped in layers of soft, warm blankets.

"Angel," he breathed.

His voice cracked.

Something in your chest lurched at the sound.

You shifted, instinctively trying to sit up, but the IV in your arm tugged, the discomfort sharp enough to make your breath stutter.

And suddenly—he was there.

Fast. Too fast. One hand curled around your arm, firm but careful, the other settling on your back, steadying you before you could even sway. His grip was secure, protective, possessive a cocktail of something you couldn’t place in that haze of your mind as the abyss swirled with his touch-  his touch that sent something warm and sweet through you, like a childhood memory of being tucked into bed on a stormy night, soft whispers and gentle reassurances lulling you to sleep.

"Take it easy," he soothed, his voice dipped in honey, smooth and low. Suguru’s hands adjusted, shifting just slightly but never letting go, steadying you in a way that felt like he would never let you fall. He was close now, too close, his body angled toward yours in a way that blocked out the rest of the room. Like nothing beyond this—beyond you—mattered.

Had it ever? Your eyes flickered up, searching his face, your gaze tracing over the deep bags beneath his eyes, the tight line of his jaw, the way his knuckles were white where he gripped the sheets.

How long had he been here?

"How are you feeling?" His voice— gentle, tender—but there was something in it, something that made your heart stumble. You swallowed thickly, forcing yourself to sort through your scattered thoughts, sluggish and slow-moving.

"Weird."

Suguru let out a soft exhale—something dangerously close to a laugh—but it was shaky, unsteady, as if the sound was unraveling at the edges. Like he was barely keeping himself together. His thumb brushed over the back of your hand, slow and rhythmic, back and forth, back and forth, as if memorizing the shape of it.

"That’s okay," he murmured, voice like silk, voice like love. His eyes, impossibly soft, and devoted, never once strayed from yours.

"You’re still waking up. Just take your time, angel. I’m right here."

His patience felt endless.

Hadn’t he always been like this?

Always patient, always yours?

Suguru's hand tightened around your wrist, his grip not bruising, but firm, like he needed the contact like he needed to feel you to believe you were still here. His voice was barely more than a whisper, trembling at the edges.

"I was so scared," he breathed.

You blinked up at him, caught in the sheer weight of his words.

"Scared?"

Suguru exhaled slowly, shakily. His fingers loosened just enough to lift your hand to his lips. The kiss he pressed there was soft, lingering, his breath ghosting over your skin like a prayer, like he was worshipping you like he was pleading.

"God, angel," he murmured, his eyes fluttering shut, "you don’t know how close I was to losing you."

Your heart stumbled.

"Losing me?" The words felt foreign on your tongue, heavy with confusion.

Suguru nodded, his grip tightening again as his violet eyes flickered open, searching yours, as if he was willing you to remember, to understand.

"You don’t remember, do you?"

Your breath caught in your throat. You did your best to remember - tried to grasp at the scattered pieces in your mind, but they slipped away, crumbling to dust before you could hold onto anything solid. There was something there, something lingering at the edges of your consciousness, but no matter how hard you reached, it refused to take shape.

Suguru saw it—the way you struggled, the way you faltered—and something in his face broke. His lips parted, his expression shattering into something raw and aching.

"You tried to leave me."

A chill slithered down your spine.

"W-what?"

Suguru swallowed hard. His hands trembled. "The pills," he whispered, voice thick, pained. Those thick large fingers of his curled around yours, holding tighter, like if he let go, you’d slip away again. "You, angel, you tried to overdose. We almost lost you."

Your body went still.

The words didn’t fit.

They didn’t belong.

Would you…?

Could you…?

Suguru let out another slow, shaky exhale, his forehead dipping forward until it rested against your temple. His arms wrapped around you, pulling you into him, his warmth engulfing you completely.

"Why didn’t you tell me you were hurting so much?" he whispered, voice cracking under the weight of it.

He sounded wrecked.

Like you had broken him.

His breath was warm against your skin, his arms unmovable, his body curled around yours as if he could shield you from something neither of you could name. Your lips parted, but no words came.

Nothing.

Just blank spaces where memories should be. You felt empty, a hollow shell carved out by something you didn’t remember.

"I—" You tried, but the words dissolved before they could form.

Suguru didn’t let go.

For what felt like an eternity, he just held you, his breath slow, measured, as if forcing himself to stay calm. As if keeping himself from falling apart completely. When he finally pulled back, his hands cradled your face, thumbs stroking over your cheekbones in slow, gentle motions. His violet eyes burned with something deep, something fierce, something terrifyingly devoted. "But it’s okay now," he whispered, "because I’m here. I’m always going to be here." His voice was steady, "You’re safe, angel. I won’t let anything happen to you ever again."

His gaze bore into you, worshipped you.

"You don’t have to be afraid anymore. I’ll take care of everything, just like I always have."

And hadn’t he?

Hadn’t Suguru always taken care of you?

Hadn’t he always put you first?

Hadn’t he always loved you more than anything?

an ache in your chest arose as your mind filled with a foggy, static mess, but Suguru’s hands were warm, his lips soft as he pressed another kiss to your forehead, lingering there, breathing you in.

"I love you so much," he whispered, the words breaking against your skin.

A few weeks passed before your release. There had been a lot of physical therapy, a lot of sessions where doctors asked you questions that felt like puzzles you couldn’t quite piece together. A lot of memories blurred at the edges, details slipping into the haze that seemed to return at odd moments, as if your mind was deliberately keeping things just out of reach.

But you weren’t worried.

Because you had Suguru.

And Suguru always took care of you.

It helped that the hospital belonged to him—or at least, that’s what you gathered. Suguru worked here, of course he did, and with Satoru’s family organization owning and operating the place, it meant you were given special treatment.

For being his favorite girl.

For being their favorite girl.

You spent most of your days with Satoru. He liked to keep you company in the common room, always finding ways to make you laugh, always draping himself over you as if the weight of his presence alone could keep you somewhat sane.

It was never crowded here.

In fact…

There weren’t any other patients. It was something you had noticed a while ago but had never questioned.

Maybe you should have.

But why would you?

Suguru said the quiet was good for your recovery - Suguru always knew best.

So, instead, you sat cross-legged at the small table in the sunlit common room, a coloring book open in front of you, half-finished pages of soft, delicate flowers filling the space. Satoru sat beside you, elbow resting on the table as he lazily twirled a crayon between his fingers, the light from the window casting a golden hue over his white hair. You looked up at him, a bright smile tugging at your lips. The words came out soft, still feeling a little foreign on your tongue.

"I drew purple flowers. What color did you do?"

Satoru’s grin faltered for a fraction of a second. It was quick, so quick you almost didn’t notice.  A small inhale, barely audible, his fingers tightening slightly around the half-yellow crayon in his hand.

"Mmm," he hummed after a pause, looking down at his page, "I was gonna make you daisies." His voice was light, casual, that boyish grin sliding back into place, but something about it felt off.

His eyes - that same sparkling blue that had always been so bright, so mischievous, looked just a little duller than before. And then, before you could dwell on it, Satoru shifted, draping an arm around your shoulders, pulling you close like he always did, like it was easy.

"I was thinking about making some stars or cranes for Suguru," you mused, flipping the crayon between your fingers. "He’s been asking for stuff! You know, when we were together, I used to handmake him things. Guess he misses it!"

You laughed, soft, cheerful, letting the warmth of nostalgia curl around your words like a fond memory.

Satoru didn’t laugh.

You caught the way his expression twitched. His bright eyes dimmed again, the usual teasing remark he would have had on his tongue never coming. Instead, his grip around you tightened just slightly, fingers curling where they rested on your arm.

That quiet thing inside you—the one that had been utterly still these past few weeks—shifted.

Like déjà vu.

Like something on the edge of remembrance.

Like something that wasn’t right.

Satoru was too quiet.

And deep inside you—somewhere distant, somewhere buried—the monster inside you howled.

At first, you had been confused.

You don’t remember falling asleep. One moment, you were coloring—soft petals filling the page, Satoru’s voice teasing at your ear. Then, darkness. Not sleep, not quite, but a gap, a missing frame between memories. And now - movement. The slow, rolling sensation beneath you. The low hum of tires against pavement. The world around you felt wrong, stretched and distorted at the edges, like waking

You weren’t sure if you were moving or if the world itself was folding around you.

No, think.

You had to think - you can’t lose your marbles yet. Something felt off, but your thoughts were molasses-thick, sluggish, slipping away before you could catch them. You forced your eyes open. The brightness stung. The world blurred and wavered, swimming between sharpness and distortion, colors smearing together like wet paint. Everything felt slow, too slow, like time itself was stretched thin. Shapes surrounded you, unfamiliar, shifting. Your mind reached for something familiar, something solid, but the haze wrapped around you like a noose, muffling every sensation. Choking out every sensation. 

Something pressed against your cheek—warmth. A body beside you.

It was familiar.

Reassuring, perhaps. A slow, curling unease rippled through you, too faint to grasp, too distant to matter. You blinked, the action feeling thick and heavy, like your eyelids had been weighted down. A figure hovered above you—dark hair, neatly tied. Lips moving, speaking, but the words were empty, soundless, lost in the static humming at the edges of your consciousness.

You could hear them.

But you couldn’t understand them.

The words dissolved before they could take shape, vanishing into the white noise fizzing along the surface of your thoughts.

Something was wrong.

The realization wasn’t sharp. It wasn’t a sudden spike of awareness, but a dull, sinking weight settling in your stomach, curling through your limbs. Like a shadow stretching across the floor, creeping slowly, methodically, until it swallowed everything. Your gaze drifted sideways, slow, disconnected. There was another presence beside you, a hand resting on your thigh. Your vision wavered, struggling to focus. White hair. A shape, a figure—Satoru?

That wasn’t right.

His touch felt off.

It didn’t belong there. It wasn’t familiar.

If it were Suguru’s, that would be familiar. Suguru is your—

Your what? The word was there, just for a second. Bright and fleeting, flickering at the edges of your mind, a puzzle piece slipping into place—and then it was gone. A void swallowed it whole. Your mind reached for it, frantic and desperate, but it was missing, ripped away, replaced with nothing but static.

The car rumbled on, steady, unwavering.

Right.

You were in a car.

Going… where?

You tried to part your lips, force the sound from your throat, but nothing came. Not silence—something worse—deep, dragging inability, like your voice had been stolen, like your body was no longer yours to command.

You felt wrong.

Heavy. Detached. Like your limbs weren’t really connected to you, as the space between thought and action had stretched too far. Every movement, even the simple act of breathing, felt slow, distant, and delayed. Something sharp flashed behind your eyes—white light, searing, electric. A crackling hum, a sharp sting like a wire had been pressed too deep beneath your skin. The darkness inside you curled inward, folding in on itself. It whimpered now, weak, small, drowning beneath the weight of something you didn’t understand.

Something was wrong.

You felt it pressing at the back of your skull, something deep and instinctive, something your body recognized even if your mind couldn’t. The fabric against your skin was soft. Loose. Suguru’s sweatpants. That much, at least, felt real. Your eyes dragged toward Satoru again. It took forever, like pushing through water, like forcing yourself to move through a world that didn’t want to stay still.

He was angled toward the window, head tilted white hair in his eyes, chin propped against his palm. The dim glow of passing streetlights flickered over his features, illuminating sharp edges, smooth planes. His mouth was pressed into a thin line. The slight downturn at the corners. The tension in his jaw.

A part of you recognized that expression.

Satoru didn’t look like that.

Satoru never looked like that.

You tried again—tried to speak, tried to force sound past the heavy, sluggish frog clogging your throat. But it was like pushing through a swamp, murky, like something thick and invisible was holding you down, keeping you tethered to this slow, sinking feeling.

A shallow breath. A shudder. Nothing else.

Satoru shifted beside you.

The warmth that had been resting on your thigh vanished, leaving behind a stark absence that made your skin prickle. Then, a new sensation—a whisper of contact against your wrist. Soft at first, an idle graze, barely there. Then firmer, more pressing, the measuring. Counting the beats beneath his fingertips.

Checking your pulse.

Your gaze dragged to his, sluggish but instinctual. Bright against the fog in your head, slicing through the murk with a clarity that made you recoil. Those eyes—striking, endless, impossibly blue—brought something with them, a pull deep in your brain, in your bones. Flashes of something disjointed. Overhead lighting, stark and sterile. A buzz—constant, droning, mechanical. His expression didn’t change, but something in his posture did. A flicker in his gaze, a fraction of a second where his mask slipped—searching, analyzing, calculating. A slow inhale. A barely-there pause.

The realization sank, you weren’t supposed to be awake. Satoru exhaled, his fingers tapped against your wrist, a rhythm so light, so absentminded, it felt like an old habit. The soft tap, tap, tap sent a ripple through your thoughts, a whisper of familiarity threading through the fog. Then—static. A flare, sharp and electric, ripping through the void inside you. White light. A hum, low and droning. Something pressing into your skull, sinking too deep.

Your breath hitched.

Satoru’s lips parted. A breath of sound escaped, “…Shit.”

Suguru heard it. “Oh, angel.” a voice that had wrapped around you like silk, warm and syrup-sweet, sinking into your skin. A hand, cupped your cheek, his thumb gliding over your skin in slow, coaxing strokes. Guiding. Directing. You barely registered the way he tilted your face up, drawing your gaze away from Satoru, steering you toward him with gentle reverence. Like something fragile. Something breakable. Something his or perhaps theirs. 

“You should be asleep,” he murmured, “We gave you some pain meds. You’ve been having a lot of nightmares lately.”

We. The word landed strangely in your mind. Heavy. Foreign. Wrong. Something about it didn’t fit. But your thoughts—sluggish, slippery—melted away before you could pin them down. Questions clawed at your throat, stacking one on top of the other, pressing against the hollowness where memories should be. But when you tried to speak, when you forced your lips to move—nothing.

No sound. No words.

Just a thin, reedy whisper of breath.

Your tongue felt thick, your mouth unfamiliar—like the very mechanics of speech had become foreign to you. You tried again—lips parting, searching for something solid, something tangible, something that made sense. You weren’t losing your mind. You weren’t insane.

You were just lost. It’s key to remind yourself of that. 

“…House?” A whisper. Soft and unfamiliar, a voice that slipped past your lips, fragile and meek, and yet—not yours. You weren’t this. No, you weren’t small, you weren’t delicate, you weren’t some flower that needed to be tended. 

So how dare this weak, trembling voice speak for you? That wasn’t right. That wasn’t you.

The abyss inside you shuddered—howled—and then, it shrunk.

You wished you understood it. Wished you could unravel the creature clawing inside you, tearing at your ribs, gnawing at your insides. What did it want? What did it fear?

And why—why did it shrink before the two most familiar men in your life? It curled in on itself, retreating like a wounded animal. Pulling away, pressing deep into the spaces between your ribs, folding into the fog thickening in your mind.

Suguru’s thumb swept over your cheek again. Pulling you away from the insanity that was unraveling in your mind, What happened to you? Yet his calloused thumb pulled you away from that question as it swept against your bottom lip, those adoring violet eyes of his gazed down on you with so much devotion.  The motion melted into your skin, seeping through the haze in your head, sinking deep, spreading warmth like honey through your veins.

You knew these hands.

You trusted them.

You had always trusted them.

Had always belonged to them.

“There’s nothing to worry about, angel,” Suguru murmured, his voice velvet-lined and laced with something deeper—something patient, something final. It settled over you like a lullaby, thick and saccharine, wrapping around your ribs, lulling the resistance in your chest to stillness.

He sounded like home.

“Just relax.”

A pause.

“You’re safe now.”

His fingers curled just slightly against your cheek, “We’re almost home.” There it was again. That word.

We. His voice curled around it so easily, so naturally, as if it had always belonged. But it hadn’t, had it? Your thoughts tripped over themselves, scattered, slipping before they could form something solid. You felt like you had forgotten something crucial. Your head swayed slightly under his touch, too heavy, too slow. The warmth of his palm pressed into your cheek, spreading down your neck, keeping you there, still, held in place by nothing but gentle weight.

Suguru’s presence filled the space beside you. Even in the dim lighting of the car, even with the blur distorting your vision, you could still make out his dark, wavy hair, loosely tied at the nape of his neck, some strands falling over his face. Sharp features softened in shadow. Long lashes, lowered as he looked at you, the faint crease between his brows, the slow parting of his lips, his violet eyes—not as sharp as Satoru’s, but deep, unreadable.

His gaze held you.

His touch kept you from drifting too far.

However your brain had other ideas, other ideas of unraveling your mind, from stopping the buzzing of nerves, a name filtered into your mind. 

Satoru.

Satoru had his own apartment.

Didn’t he?

Yes. He did. He had his own space. He didn’t live with you. So why did the word we feel so wrong? Your breath came uneven, something shallow curling at the edges of your ribs.

A flicker of something.

Pills.

A hand.

Scattered.

The haze thickened. Your stomach twisted. A cold knowing pried its way through the murk.

You tried to kill yourself. Suguru’s voice echoed through the thick fog of your thoughts, from before. His words, his tone, the steady warmth of his arms around you. That conversation happened. You spoke fine before.

Why couldn’t you now?

Why did your voice feel different—smaller, softer? Why did you find yourself leaning into Suguru’s touch, chasing the warmth, seeking comfort in something you didn’t understand?

Because he was familiar.

Because in this fog, in this shapeless world where everything felt wrong, Suguru felt right.

No. Back on track.

Would you?

Could you?

Would you really—kill yourself?

That didn’t feel right.

That wasn’t you.

Was it?

Is that why Satoru…

You tried to speak. It took effort. A deep pull, like dredging words from the bottom of a thick, dark sea. Your lips trembled as they formed something weak, breathless.

“S-toru…”

Your mind lagged, struggling to find the words, the question tangling itself up inside you.

“…why?”

Suguru stilled for a moment. You felt the hesitation in him—the smallest shift in the way his thumb stopped moving, the subtle inhale, the pause in the space between you. His expression flickered—something uncertain ghosting across his face, but it was gone just as quickly as it appeared. Suguru was never uncertain. His violet eyes softened, the storm behind them calming, gentling, then, a slow, patient smile. His thumb resumed its path, tracing slow circles over your cheek, then down, grazing your bottom lip. A touch so tender it felt practiced.

“You gave him a fright,” Suguru murmured, his voice deep, warm, careful. A deliberate gentleness, like he was tending to a delicate flower—cultivating it, shaping it, waiting for the perfect moment to pluck it. To prepare it for the right occasion. Somehow, you knew that flower was you.

Except—you weren’t something sweet.

That wasn’t who you were.

Your voice, soft and honeyed, might have painted that illusion, but inside—inside, you were full of thorns. Sharp, unruly, aching to tear free, to dig into flesh, to remind the world that you were not meant to be handled.

Every slow stroke of his thumb against your skin unraveled them. One by one, the thorns dulled, softened, melted into something pliant. “He hasn’t been able to sleep in his apartment since you tried to…” A pause. His voice dipped lower, quieter as if saying the words aloud might wound him. You barely heard him anymore. Your thoughts had grown too loud.

Screaming.

Clawing against the buzz of burnt nerves—burnt? Why were they burnt?

Would you?

Would you kill yourself?

No.

That wasn’t you.

…Was it?

Suguru’s hand cradled your face, the pad of his thumb brushing over your temple.. His warmth sank into your skin, deeper than it should have—branding itself into you. Pressing. Holding. Binding. Safe.

Safe, safe, safe.

That’s what his touch said— what it promised.

And you let yourself sink.

You weren’t sure when you fell asleep.

Was it the warmth of Suguru’s hands, the soothing rhythm of his thumb against your cheek? Or was it the slight prick in your arm, so small, so fleeting, you barely noticed?

A needle.

That was… strange. What a weird thing to feel in a car. The thought barely had time to take shape before it melted away, lost to the pull of sleep—no, not sleep, something deeper, something heavier. Just before the darkness swallowed you whole, your gaze caught on a faint glimmer—a vial. The name surfaced immediately — a sedative. How would someone who could barely think straight know that?

But the thought was fleeting, slipping between your fingers as the world around you dissolved, your body weightless, your mind drifting— another memory.

Or perhaps a fraction of one.

A pink room. Soft pastels, warm light filtering through gauzy curtains. A large white box against the wall, waiting—empty. Something should be inside it, however the poor lonely white box was empty. On the floor, Suguru. A flashlight between his teeth, hands assembling something small, something delicate. Cubes of softwood, pastel-painted pieces are arranged in careful, meticulous stacks. His smile was easy, boyish, the corners of his eyes crinkling as he looked up at you.

Love. Devotion. Excitement.

"You think she’ll like it?" his voice was muffled around the flashlight, words laced with tender amusement. You stood in the doorway, watching him. Something inside you felt full, heavy.

You glanced at the mirror beside you—rounder. Softer.

Heavier.

Ah… what’s the word?

The thought came slow, sluggish, dragging its way up from the depths of your mind, a word, you were ████████. The word couldn't come. It slipped just as the memory was. The warmth of the memory curled around you, a bittersweet thing, familiar but distant as if seen through the wrong end of a telescope.

The image shattered.

Pale blue tiles, slick beneath your feet. The air was cold, curling against your bare skin like a whisper, like breath on the back of your neck, haunting. The bathroom felt vast and empty, yet suffocating all at once, a space that stretched and closed in at the same time. The walls pulsed, the floor swayed. Something dripped.

Red flowers.

They bloomed in the cracks, unfurling across the tile, soaking into the grout, staining your fingers, smeared against your thighs. A deep ache coiled in your stomach, right where the flowers grew, sharp and pulling and wrong. You pressed your hand there, fingers slick, warm- your heartbeat pounded against your ribs, a frantic, uneven staccato as if your body was trying to tell you something your mind refused to grasp.

Oh.

Not flowers.

Your breath hitched, sharp and jagged, the sound barely registering over the heavy buzzing in your skull. Your chest ached, pulled tight like something was being wound inside you, twisting until it was about to snap. Your hands trembled, grasping at fabric—your dress, the sink, the air itself—nothing felt solid. Nothing felt real.

Light flickered. A glow in the corner of your eye.

Your phone - the screen pulsed, humming with an unfamiliar urgency, illuminating the dark edges of the room. A name. Suguru. It pulsed with every ring, like a heartbeat, like something alive, something waiting.

You needed to answer it.

You tried—your fingers barely moved, sluggish and detached, like they weren’t yours, like your body had forgotten how to listen. The world shifted. The tiles rippled. The walls breathed.

You didn’t like this.

You didn’t like this at all.

But the dream had other plans.

It dragged you deeper, a hand at your back, pushing you forward, forcing you to see, forcing you to remember. The bathroom dissolved, bled into something else, colors warping, space stretching, folding, cracking apart.

The red flowers—gone.

In their place, stacks of paper.

Crisp, white sheets, stretching endlessly before you, swallowing the room whole, consuming every surface. The ink bled through, black lines shifting, warping as you tried to read them, twisting into something unreadable, something suffocating.

Not just any paper.

Divorce papers.

Your name.

Suguru’s name.

Your signature, ink smudged, edges curling, the weight of the moment pressing down on you like a vice. A pen—shaking between your fingers, clutched so tightly it might snap in half. 

You wanted to—

Didn’t you?

You wanted to leave.

Didn’t you?

The ink ran. The pages blurred, the edges curling inward, folding like wilting petals, like burning paper, like something being erased. Water dripped down the sheets, or was it blood? A soft rustle—pages turning on their own, shifting, morphing, dissolving into something else entirely.

The crib.

The bathroom.

The blood.

The papers.

Everything tangled together, warped, spliced, replaying in fragments, flickering like an old film reel skipping frames. The images overlapped, twisting and unraveling before you could grab hold, slipping through your fingers like silk soaked in something dark.

Your body burned. Boiled. Feverish heat rolled through your veins, spreading, thick and searing, like something was crawling beneath your skin, like you were being rewritten from the inside out.

You tried to wake up.

You needed to wake up.

Your mind screamed against the weight pressing down on it, against the lie suffocating it, against the warmth wrapped around you, the warmth you didn’t trust, the warmth you had once loved.

You gasped.

The darkness shattered—splintering into a million aching shards as your body jolted, wrenching itself toward consciousness.

A voice.

Soft, distant, pulling at the edges of wakefulness.

It wasn’t unusual for Suguru to curl up beside you at night, his arms, his body warm and familiar. That was normal. That made sense. But Satoru? Satoru had never slept beside you before, had he? At least, you didn’t think so.

Then again, you didn’t trust your memories these days.

The first night he slipped beneath the covers with you and Suguru, you blinked up at him, confusion knitting your brows together. "Satoru?" His name had left your lips softly, almost hesitant. You remembered Suguru pulling you closer before Satoru could even answer, his grip tightening as if the question itself was something you shouldn’t be asking.

"Mmm?" Satoru’s grin had been lazy, his eyes tired, but there was something about the way he spoke, something forced, light. He ruffled your hair like he always did, fingers lingering against your scalp before he sighed. "Just keeping an eye on you, princess. You know I can’t let you out of my sight for too long—what if you run off on us again?"

Something in your chest twisted at his words, a faint unease curling around your ribs, but before you could ask what he meant, Suguru had hushed you with a slow, tender stroke of his fingers down your arm. His voice had been soft. "Shhh, angel. Just rest. You need sleep."

You hadn’t fought it, though you weren’t sure why. Maybe it was because Suguru’s voice had always been something that soothed you, something that made you feel safe even when you weren’t sure why you needed to feel safe. Or maybe it was because Satoru had sighed dramatically, pressed a lazy kiss to the top of your head, and settled himself on the other side of you, like it was all so casual.

"Guess I’ll have to hold you extra close, then," he had teased, slinging an arm over both you and Suguru, his grip loose. "Can’t have you slipping through my fingers again, huh?"

You had felt the slow, easy circles of his fingers tracing along your arm, the weight of Suguru’s breath against your hair, the warmth of their bodies on either side of you. Something had whispered in the back of your mind that this was wrong, that this wasn’t how things were supposed to be. But Suguru had kissed your temple, whispered a quiet "Sleep, angel," and Satoru had only chuckled, pressing his face into your shoulder with a sigh, and soon the heaviness had settled into your limbs, pulling you under before you could think too hard about it.

And that had been the routine, night after night, until it became something normal, something expected. Until it stopped feeling strange. Until you stopped questioning it altogether. Some nights however, when they had opposite shifts, when the nightmares of yours persisted, perhaps from all the medication you were taking much to your demise: 

Satoru’s voice.

Faint, familiar, a low murmur in your ears, wrapping around your disoriented mind like a lulling tide. Sheets. Soft beneath you, cradling you in their embrace. The scent of home.

Something was wrong.

You forced your eyelids open, sluggish and heavy, the weight of sleep, drugs, memories dragging you back down. Satoru’s body against yours, too solid, too warm. He was pressed into you, caging you against him, his bare chest rising and falling, his breath heavy as he buried his face into your hair.

Fevered kisses—

One. Two. Three.

Tears. Your tears. You hadn’t realized you were crying or perhaps weren’t sure that was something you could do anymore. A lot of things left you uneasy these days, especially as Satoru’s lips trailed across your damp skin, pressing against your temple, your cheek, your eyelids. Something frantic in the way he held you.

What a desperate man he was, those soft pink lips seemed to continue on their conquest for the salt of your tears, as his arms curled tighter, embrace crushing, as if he was ensuring you could never slip away from him, not like you had the strength to do such a thing. 

However you didn’t like the way his lips trailed to your pulse, causing a panic inside you to rise, to claw at your ribs, to force yourself to speak, to ask, to plead - nothing but a meek, broken whimper escaped. Your voice was gone, hidden away as Satoru’s hands traveled to your nightgown hitching the lace lining upwards. The only sound was the slow, shaky breath Satoru let out against your skin.

“Oh, princess,” he murmured, his voice rough, thick with something heavy, something raw. “You scared the hell out of me.”

You tried again, and again, and - 

Because something inside you was screaming, clawing at the back of your mind, a voice—not yours, yet somehow still yours—wailing in recognition, shrieking a warning, weaving a song of something terrible, something unspeakable.

Oh, what did they do to you? The abyss curled around your thoughts, purring, seething.

That’s a new thought.

Not one you liked.

Not one you asked for.

But you couldn’t choose your thoughts, could you?

Satoru’s breath was warm against your cheek, his lips brushing against your damp skin, murmuring something—a confession, an apology, a plea. “I’m sorry.”  The warmth of his bare chest pressed against you, the firm, steady weight of him sinking into you, grounding you, keeping you trapped.

Satoru wasn’t your husband.

So why was he acting like one?

“I’m so fucking sorry.” You heard a crack. The sound of something breaking. Not glass. Something inside him. Your thoughts moved sluggishly, bouncing like light trapped in mirrors, scattering, refracting, unable to land. Satoru wasn’t emotional. Satoru would laugh things off, he would tease, he would never cry.

Satoru would understand the word no.

Wouldn’t he?

Satoru—who teased you for being a crybaby, who ruffled your hair, who leaned too close just to watch you roll your eyes.

That Satoru.

But this one—

This one held you like you were something fragile, something broken, something that had already slipped through his fingers once before. Something beloved, something like a lover. This one pressed desperate kisses to your face, each one filled with words you couldn’t quite grasp.

"I love you."

A whisper.

"Suguru had to go back for his shift."

A ghost of sound against your skin. The sound of clothing being removed. 

"I love you."

Again. Over and over and over.

"I’m sorry." 

"I didn’t know—"

Didn’t know what?

Your body shuddered. Something coiled at the edges of your mind—the abyss, the thing inside you, the part of you that knew more than you did. It wrapped itself around your thoughts, dragging them down, down, down, pushing you beneath the water, forcing you to see—

A hospital.

The mental hospital.

Not white, not sterile, but painted in colors that didn’t belong.

Satoru.

He was there.

You could see him.

Why could you see him? Your vision flickered, disjointed, showing you glimpses of something you didn’t want to remember—

No, no, no—

A field of flowers.

Purple.

Vivid and endless, blooming in the quiet of your mind.

You focused on that.

You latched onto it. Ignoring the fingers that had trailed to your heat, the broke whimpers escaping your throat, the sound of I love yous being called out. 

Purple was better. Purple was better than the flowers from your dream. Better than the ones that filled the bathroom. Better than the ones that bloomed too red, too much, too violently.

No.

No, you had to focus. You had to free yourself from this danger, from this man who claimed he loved you, yet he was claiming your body as if it were already his. Your nerves buzzed, crackled, burned inside you, bouncing like photons, shooting in all directions, searching for something solid, something real.

But nothing would land.

Nothing would stick.

Not the words slipping from Satoru’s lips, not the weight of his body pressing into yours, not the dull ache threading through your bones. Not the pressure building up inside your core, not the sickening sounds of wet flesh bouncing in the room. Not the defilement of your marriage bed. 

Everything felt like it was happening somewhere else.

But Satoru was still holding you.

His voice wove into your skin, breath hot, shaky, frantic, lips moving over your cheeks, your forehead, your eyelids—kissing away your tears, swallowing them like they were his own.

He wasn’t supposed to be like this.

He was supposed to tease you, laugh things off, flick your forehead when you pouted, ruffle your hair like you were something small and irritating yet adored.

But this wasn’t playful. This wasn’t harmless.

"I’m sorry," Satoru mumbled into your skin, voice breaking at the edges, dragging you closer, pulling you deeper into the heat of his bare chest, caging you in his arms. His heartbeat was uneven, erratic, pounding too hard beneath his ribs, pressed up against you like he needed you to feel it, like he needed to prove it to you.

"I’m so fucking sorry."

There was something wrong.

Something breaking.

Not just inside you.

Inside him.

His grip was too tight, too possessive, fingers digging into your hips, holding you still, locked against him.

Satoru doesn’t get emotional.

Satoru is loud, carefree, reckless.

Satoru is supposed to understand boundaries.

Satoru is supposed to stop.

Then why wasn’t he stopping?

Why was his breath coming in fevered gasps, why were his lips tracing the trembling curve of your jaw, pressing kisses along the pulse point at your throat, why was his voice pleading, broken, desperate?

Why did he sound like he was losing you?

"You don’t get it," he whispered between each kiss, mumbling, unraveling, his voice trembling against your skin. "You don’t—you don’t get it, princess. You almost left us. I—I didn’t want to hold you down that night."

The realization slithered through your mind, slow and suffocating. The abyss stirred, uncoiling inside you, thrashing against the haze, against the warmth of Satoru’s hands, against the way his fingers trailed against your soft skin, leaving marks in their wake, gripping the soft flesh of your thighs like he had every right to touch you.

His lips trembled against yours—fevered, insatiable.

"I love you," he whispered, the words dissolving into the heat of his mouth against yours. "I love you. I love you. I love you."

The words felt frantic, possessive, more an oath than a confession.

Your wrists—pinned above your head, trapped in his grasp.

His fingers curled around them, pressing them into the mattress, his body flush against yours, holding you in place.

The weight of him was suffocating.

This was Satoru.

This was your best friend.

You weren’t supposed to react.

Your body betrayed you. The sharp, shallow rise and fall of your chest, the heat prickling beneath your skin, the helpless, breathless little sounds slipping past your lips—all of it responding to his touch.

Even though you knew this wasn’t right.

Even though you knew this wasn’t love.

Ache.

His hips rolled against yours, slow, drawing a gasp from your throat—not a protest, not a plea, just a sound. That was all the permission he needed. His hand slid up your thigh, pushing your nightgown higher, exposing more of you to him, letting his fingers map out your skin, burning the shape of you into his memory.

"You were gonna leave us," he murmured against your lips, breathless, aching, his voice raw with something you couldn’t name. "You don’t get to do that. Not when we love you so much."

We?

The word barely registered, barely even formed in your head before his lips claimed yours again, hungry, desperate, overwhelming.

Satoru devoured you like you belonged to him.

Like this was his right.

Like he could love you enough to erase everything that came before this.

Like he could rewrite everything.

Like he could keep you.

The abyss inside you howled.

But Satoru didn’t stop. His weight pressed into you, his touch fevered, his lips brushing against your skin between each ragged breath, between each mumbled I love you.

You found it easier to look up.

Easier to focus on the ceiling than on the way his body moved against yours.

Easier to count the little glowing stars above you, the ones you begged Suguru for one night, one, two, three…Easier to slip into numbers than acknowledge the heat sinking deep inside you, curling through your veins, stealing what little control you had left.

Your lashes fluttered. Tears pooled, slipped down your temples, soaked into the pillow.

Satoru felt them.

His lips followed them, kissed them away, his voice breaking between each trembling press of his mouth against your cheek, against your jaw. "You don’t know," he whispered, a soft, pleading murmur. "You don’t know how much we love you."

We.

The word stung, but you didn’t know why. You felt it, somewhere in the thick, dizzying fog of your mind, a wrongness, a fracture.

Not just Satoru. Suguru.

A memory curled at the edges of your mind—not one you wanted, but one that came anyway. Another horror in this dreadful night, you wished for those purple flowers not the red flowers that haunted you. Blooming against the pale blue tile, staining your palms, seeping between your fingers. Their warmth, how they stick to your skin in the unforgiving wake. That warmth inside you twisted and pulled, it wasn’t Satoru’s hands anymore, wasn’t the heat of his body, the stretch and ache of him deep inside you as he whispered I love you against your skin like worship.

Instead, it was Suguru’s hands, hands that had touched you thousands of times before. Gentle hands, hands that treated you like you were meant for devotion, for you were his purity.  A memory forced itself to the surface, unbidden. Suguru, standing behind you, his arms circling your waist, his lips brushing against the curve of your neck as you got ready for bed. A whisper, low, warm, laced with something soft, "You’re beautiful, angel." A gentle careful kiss but you had uttered the words, pushing him away once more, pushing away those red flowers that haunted you. 

"Not tonight, Suguru."

The way his breath caught.

The way his hands stilled for just a second — his lips lingered against your shoulder before he exhaled, slow, measured, pressing a kiss to your temple.

"Okay," he had murmured. Like any devoted husband. Like any man who respected the word no. 

But no devoted husband uses electric shock treatment to keep his wife.

The ceiling blurred. The glowing stars bled into one another, bright spots against the dark haze swallowing your thoughts. Satoru’s touch dragged you back to the present, his lips pressing against your cheek, his body molding into yours, his voice muffled against your skin.

You continued to count the stars, this would all be over soon, wouldn’t it? 

One.

Two.

Three.

And let them swallow you whole

Weeks bled into months. Months of learning to exist beneath them. Months of waking in tangled sheets, caged between their bodies, pressed into the heat of their skin, the weight of them a presence. Months of breathing them in, their scent embedding itself into your very cells, threading through your ribs, settling deep inside you like an infection.

Months of becoming—

Becoming the perfect little thing they wanted.

Because that’s what this was all for, wasn’t it?

A family.

One big, happy family. Satoru whispered it against your skin, his lips trailing slow, lazy paths down your throat, his breath warm, saccharine, curling into your bones. He murmured it between kisses, between soft chuckles, between hands that never strayed far, hands that claimed, that took, that demanded. Suguru was gentler, slower, patient in the way a sculptor was patient when chiseling something out of stone. His voice was warm, his touch deliberate as he pressed you into his chest, his arms curling around you like a cage that pretended to be soft. He spoke of love, of devotion, of how hard it was sometimes, of how you had lost your way, how they had simply helped you find it again.

They loved you.

They loved you so much.

You were theirs.

They were yours.

A perfect trinity.

The family you were always meant to have.

Satoru would hum against your skin, tracing the curve of your hip with absentminded fingers, pressing smug, drowsy kisses to your temple as he whispered about how long they had waited for this, how long they had fought for you, how long they had planned for you to be here, with them, forever. Suguru would sigh against your hair, pressing his lips to your forehead, fingers threading through yours, telling you that love is difficult, that sometimes you break apart, that sometimes you lose yourself, but that they had found you again, that they had brought you home.

You wished you could tell them they were wrong.

You wished you could scream it, shatter the illusion they had so carefully wrapped around you, rip it open at the seams and show them—show them that you had never been theirs, that they had stolen you, reshaped you, carved you into something pliable, breakable, compliant.

Instead, you smiled.

Instead, you nodded.

Instead, you whispered soft thanks, spoke gentle words, let yourself melt into them like a perfect little doll. Because that was the role they had given you.

And if you played it long enough.

Maybe.

Just maybe.

You could be free.

But freedom was slow.

Freedom had conditions.

Gold stickers meant you were good, meant you let Suguru kiss you deeply without hesitation. Meant you didn’t flinch when his calloused, thick fingers gripped your chin, tilting your face up, when his lips claimed yours with slow, deliberate intent, when his tongue pushed past your parted lips, sweeping into your mouth, taking. 

Because breathing was a freedom he granted you.

His kiss was slow, practiced, indulgent, meant to be savored, to be felt. His tongue tangled with yours, rolling, curling, teasing, until it became a battle you were never meant to win. Until all you could do was let him have it, let him claim the heat of your mouth, let him drown you in the wet, insistent slide of saliva and submission.

Gold stickers meant you pressed into Satoru’s touch when he pulled you into his lap, when he grabbed at you, hands too big, too possessive, sliding beneath your sweet frilly dresses like they belonged there. Meant you let his fingers explore, tease, stroke, meant you didn’t tense when they skimmed along your thighs, when they traced the soft curve of your waist, when they inched higher, higher, a slow ascent meant to make you tremble. Meant you didn’t fight when he leaned in, breath warm, voice sticky sweet, whispering how perfect you were.

How much he loved you.

How he wanted all of you, always.

Because Satoru loved you, didn’t he?

Suguru cherished you, didn’t he?

And good girls. Good girls got gold stickers. Gold stickers meant you let them have you.

Together.

Gold stickers meant you didn’t cry, didn’t tremble, didn’t fight when they showed you what it meant to be theirs.

They called it making love. When they claimed you, when they took turns molding you, reshaping you, guiding your body into what they wanted it to be. When Satoru would hum small tuts of don’t bite, don’t cry as you struggled to take him, as his grip tightened just enough to remind you that breath was a privilege he could take away, each time he shoved his length down your throat that refused to take the full length. When Suguru’s voice was patient, coaxing, as he filled you, his thick cock filling your entirety, as he waited for your body to surrender, to accept, to welcome. When they weren’t feeling so generous, when they both took you at once, you found comfort in counting the stars on the ceiling. 

One, two, three, four. 

A methodical ritual, a place to go when there was nowhere else to escape to, a set of bright constellations to disappear into until your body was no longer your own. Until the weight of them left you aching, until Suguru pressed a small, bitter pill to your lips. Not the soft, fuzzy ones. Not the ones that made everything feel distant, hazy, almost bearable.

No.

This one was different - ensured you would always be theirs.

Forever.

You didn’t call it making love. You refused to give it a name. Names have meaning because calling it something makes it real. 

And you had already learned that fighting back only earned red stickers.

Suguru would sigh, take your chin in his hand, tilt your face up, his thumb smoothing over your lips as he murmured, “You’re not trying hard enough, angel.” Sinking himself further into you as you wailed that this was too much, however, words still refused to leave your lips when they gave you the fuzzy pill.  Satoru would smile—too easy, too light—before pressing you down, before kissing you so deeply you couldn’t breathe, before whispering, “We love you, princess. Let us show you.”

Suguru’s hands would hold you still.

Satoru’s lips would silence your words.

And you would let them.

Because fighting meant nothing.

Because the times you fought were worse.

You had already learned that fighting back only earned red stickers.

And red stickers weren’t just reprimands.

They were punishments.

Punishments that stripped you down, peeled you apart layer by layer, until you no longer knew where the pain ended and where you began.

Because love is difficult, isn’t it?

That’s what Suguru always told you. Love took patience, love took sacrifice, love took understanding. You had lost yourself for a little while, but they found you again.

And love was about keeping what belonged to you.

Red stickers meant the dark.

Suguru never yelled. He never needed to. He didn’t believe in harsh words, didn’t believe in cruelty, only correction.

"You just need time to think, angel," he would say, voice so warm, so understanding, as he shut the door. And you would sit in the darkness, alone, the air around you thick, pressing, suffocating, your own heartbeat the only sound in the void. You would listen to it, the heavy thump, thump, thump of it against your ribs, a reminder that you were here, that time still moved, even if you couldn’t see it.

But hours could stretch into eternities in the dark.

Your mind would start playing tricks on you.

You would hear the floor creak even when no one was there.

You would see things—shadows shifting in the corners of your vision, shapes that moved just when you blinked. The wallsm breathing, growing, closing in. You would scratch at your arms just to feel something real, press your nails into your palms, try to hold onto yourself. But eventually, the dark would become your only companion. And when the door finally opened, spilling in the golden glow of the hallway, illuminating Suguru’s familiar, patient face, you would thank him. You would cry into his chest as he murmured soft reassurances, stroked your hair, shushed you like a parent soothing a child, whispering, “It’s okay, angel. You’re home now.”

Red stickers meant silence.

You were allowed to speak—until you weren’t, or at least the words you were able to speak despite all the speech therapy that Satoru engages in with you. Giving you a gold star for every time you mention the words I love you.

Suguru would take away your voice.

Satoru would take away your body.

And both of them, together, would take away your mind.

Suguru believed words had weight. And your words needed to be earned.

"You talk too much sometimes, angel," he would murmur, cupping your cheek, thumb smoothing over your lips in a way that almost felt loving. "I think it’s best if you take some time to listen instead."

And then, the silence would begin.

For hours.

For days.

No one would speak to you. Not when you greeted them in the morning, not when you reached for them in the kitchen, not when you curled into Satoru’s lap at night, searching for warmth, for comfort, for something. You would try to apologize, try to whisper, try to fix whatever you did wrong—but silence was the only thing that answered you.

The absence of their voices would drive you mad.

Because they were the only voices you had left.

And you wouldn’t even realize it until you were begging for them to speak to you. Until you were crying, pleading, promising you’d be better, that you’d be good, that you wouldn’t make the same mistake again.

Until Suguru finally sighed, finally smiled, finally opened his arms for you to crawl into.

"See? I knew you’d understand."

And you would nod.

And you would thank him.

Because you had learned.

Because love had to be felt.

Red stickers meant pain.

But not pain in the ways you expected. Not bruises or broken skin. No, that would be too easy. Suguru didn’t believe in hurting you. Satoru didn’t believe in making you suffer.

"We would never, ever hurt you, princess," Satoru would murmur, pressing feather-light kisses to your knuckles.

"We love you too much for that," Suguru would promise, smoothing your hair, lips against your temple.

Instead— they let you hurt yourself.

The isolation and silence. The punishments were made to be felt—so that you would be so grateful when they stopped.

So that when Suguru finally pulled you into his arms, when Satoru finally buried his fingers into your hair, when their voices finally filled the quiet, you would cling to them.

You would melt into them. You would thank them for loving you enough to teach you the right way to love them back.

Because red stickers weren’t punishments.

Not really. They were lessons. They were reconstruction.

They were breaking you down and putting you back together.

Until there was nothing left to fix. Until you weren’t just theirs. Until you were nothing else— nothing but the howling abyss that had consumed you, devoured you, and made a home inside your ribs where love was supposed to be. You had been reshaped, rewritten, reduced to something that fit neatly into their hands. A perfect little thing. A cherished possession. A beloved doll. And yet—beneath it all, beneath the softness, the compliance, the pretty, painted-over ruin.

Something inside you still whispered.

Something inside you still knew.

You were not whole. You were not safe. You were not theirs.

But maybe that was the cruelest part. Maybe you had never been yours, either. Maybe you had always belonged to something else. Something lurking in the shadows of your mind. Something clawing beneath your skin. Maybe it had always been waiting, for the right moment. Waiting for them to break you just enough that you no longer cared about surviving.

Because that’s how madness works, isn’t it? It doesn’t come all at once. It seeps in like a slow drip. It whispers before it howls. It curls around your ribs, waiting, waiting, waiting—until you went insane.

Or maybe you had always been insane.

Maybe it had never been a matter of breaking. Maybe it had only been a matter of time.

It was poetic, really.

The game had always been theirs, Suguru with his patience, Satoru with his affection. Two halves of the same vice, pressing, tightening, shaping you into something that belonged to them.

And yet—they never expected you to playback. Never expected that after all these months, all this time, after all the gold stickers and red stickers and quiet, compliant submission—you would take something from them.

They thought they had won.

They thought you had finally learned to love them.

Because you had let them in.

Because you had stopped fighting.

Because you had smiled.

And maybe that was the cruelest part.

You had smiled.

You had whispered, I love you too.

You had given them everything, just long enough to make them believe it. Because love was trust, wasn’t it? And they trusted you. They trusted you enough to leave you alone. To step out into the world believing you would wait for them, believing you would always be right where they left you, believing that you had finally accepted what they had been trying to give you all along.

That you had accepted them.

Accepted their love.

Their home.

Their family.

But love had never been a choice for you.

And now, it wasn’t a choice for them either.

When the door creaked open, when Suguru stepped inside first, smiling, slipping off his coat, Satoru trailing behind him, laughing at some joke that no longer mattered, It took only seconds for them to see it. The pill cabinet was half-open. The empty bottles were carelessly discarded. And then - you. Sitting there, waiting, smiling. Like you always did. Like a perfect little doll. But your skin was too pale, your eyes, too bright, too fevered, too glassy.

The first stumble. Your body swayed, the room tilting on an unseen axis, the distant, detached feeling of your limbs no longer being yours, your stomach turning inside out, nausea curling in waves.

Suguru’s smile faltered.

Satoru’s laughter died.

And when Suguru’s sharp eyes narrowed, when he took one step forward—you laughed. High. Light. Almost musical.

Suguru froze.

Satoru stilled.

Like a moment caught in time, stretched too thin, seconds passing that felt like centuries. Then, realization. The widening of Suguru’s pupils, the way his breath hitched, the way his hand shot out to steady you, to touch you, as if that could stop what was happening.

As if he could still save you.

As if he had ever saved you.

And Satoru—well. Satoru looked like he had been shot. His lips parted, no breath, no sound, body locked into place, unblinking, unbreathing, his hands twitching, fingers flexing like he didn’t know what to do with them. As if his mind was refusing to understand what his eyes were seeing, because this wasn’t supposed to happen.

You were theirs.

You were supposed to be safe.

"No," Suguru murmured, and for the first time in your life, his voice was something other than that calm vice.

And for the first time since you have been met with Suguru—you felt powerful. A tilt of your head, lips stretching wider into something not quite a smile, not quite anything at all.

"I hope in another timeline, I never meet either of you." The words tumbled out easy like they had been waiting to escape for months since they did this to you. Words you had to practice in a mirror. Words that shouldn't have taken so much effort but all the drugs and treatments they put you on...had ruined who you really are.

Suguru’s grip tightened around your arms, his nails digging in too hard as if he could keep you here, keep you alive, keep you his. Satoru still hadn’t moved. His breath was shallow, his eyes darting everywhere—the empty bottles, the pale of your skin, the sweat glistening along your forehead.

The first cough.

And with it, the first bloom of red, something your mind changed to flowers but you knew what this truly was. The way the petals splattered against your palm, hot and thick, dripping between your fingers, staining your lips. Satoru jerked forward, his hands shaking as he reached for you, so, so gently, like he was afraid to break you even more.

But you were already breaking.

You had already broken.

The second cough came harder.

Then the third.

And suddenly, the room was shaking, or maybe it was you that was shaking, or maybe it was them, or maybe it was everything falling apart all at once.

Suguru was begging now. "No, no, no, angel, look at me - don’t do this, don’t fucking do this." Those large warm hands you once loved were cradling your face, cupping your cheeks, trying to hold you together even as more red spilled from your lips, and dripped onto his fingers, onto his wrists.

And Satoru was fumbling through his phone for 911, an ambulance, two doctors who were beyond saving their beloved patient now. However, you had never seen him quite like this, never seen his chest rise and fall in uneven, erratic bursts, never seen his fingers tremble, never seen his lips shake around a choked, gasping “Princess, please.”

Please?

Like you owed him something.

Like you owed them anything.

"This isn’t love." The words gurgled up past the wet heat in your throat, burning, raw, torn from somewhere deep inside you that they had never been able to touch. "You never loved me."

Maybe that was what broke them.

Not the blood.

Not the pale blue of your skin.

Not the way your body sagged against Suguru’s chest as you slipped further, further away.

But that.

That you had never believed them.

That even in their twisted devotion, their patience, their desperate, all-consuming love—you had never truly been theirs.

Even after everything.

Even now.

Suguru let out a sound, something strangled, something inhuman, as he pressed his forehead against yours, as he rocked you, shook you, pleaded with you, his words breaking apart before they could even form.

Satoru just kept whispering your name as he waited for the ambulance to arrive. Over and over and over. Like if he said it enough, maybe you would answer him. Like if he said it enough, maybe you would stay.

Like if he said it enough, maybe this wouldn’t be real. It was though, this was a fact. The same fact that they did this to you, drove you this far into the abyss letting that monster finally be released to pay them the dues they so much deserved. And as the darkness finally took you, as your body finally gave in, as the last shreds of yourself finally slipped through their fingers—you smiled. For the first time in this life, you had finally broken through the haze.

You had won.

[simplygojo]

The Devil He Made Me - Ch. 15

author's note ⸺ Hiiiiiii! Thank you to all who are still reading this fic...I love you with all my heart and will kiss you on the mouth if you'd like <3 pairing ⸺ Satoru Gojo x reader chapter summary ⸺ After brainstorming a masterplan for your newfound situation, you return to your room for some much needed rest, however, things do not go as planned,but didn't necessarily go poorly... ;) word count ⸺ 3.8k content ⸺ light angst, some suggestive comments, babygirl reader, reader uses female pronouns taglist ⸺@mawhoreagaa; @peqch-pie; @blue-serendipity; @simplyyyuji; @starrnai; @sorcerersseestars; @n1vi; @angryglitterperfection; @krak-jj; @coweringbear; @holylonelyponyeatingmacaroni; @cococola-cocaine; @sdv98o; @theendx888; @dvmb4ssbiatch; @sugxryratz; @kinny-away; @crankyarchives; @enfppuff; @reactwithjan; @blubearxy; @mystic-megumi; @nanamisrighthand; If you’d like to be added to the series tag list, leave a comment below:)

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The air in the courtyard was thick with the remnants of the fading sun, the evening sky stretching overhead in a wash of dusky purples and golds.

It was the kind of quiet that settled deep in your bones, heavy with something unspoken, something inevitable. You sat cross-legged on the cool stone pathway, fingers loosely curled in your lap, the gentle rustling of trees filling the empty spaces between conversations.

Gojo stood at the center of it all, posture deceptively easy, like he hadn’t just spent the last few hours meticulously formulating your next steps.

He had been more focused than usual, less flippant, though his cocky smirk still ghosted the edges of his lips. You caught the way his fingers flexed absently, a telltale sign that, beneath the usual bravado, something was weighing on him.

To his left, Megumi sat with his arms folded, his expression unreadable, but the tension in his shoulders betrayed his unease.

Nobara and Yuji, typically the loudest voices in any discussion, were uncharacteristically restrained, their gazes flickering between you and Gojo with barely concealed anticipation. 

And then there was Nanami. Seated a few paces from you, he was as solid and unshaken as ever, his presence grounding despite the uncertainty in the air. He had been quiet all evening, listening, calculating, waiting.

You had spent the last few hours throwing ideas at the wall, dissecting every possible next step in a desperate attempt to gain control over the situation. But it was time for an answer now.

Gojo exhaled, tipping his head back slightly before looking at you. “Alright. Here’s the deal,” he started, voice steady but laced with something deliberate. 

“We’ve gone over every possible approach—some good, some incredibly reckless.” His sharp blue gaze flickered toward Yuji and Nobara. “But I’ve been doing some behind-the-scenes work, too.”

Something about his tone made your stomach turn. Gojo wasn’t just speaking to fill the space. He was leading up to something.

“Ijichi’s been looking into your family,” he said simply.

Your breath caught in your throat.

The words felt like a drop of ink in water, expanding outward, staining everything in their path.

“He’s been working on it for a while now,” Gojo continued, his voice softer now, less teasing. “Ever since you mentioned bits and pieces of where you grew up, I figured it was worth checking out. I didn’t want to say anything until we had real answers, but…” He let out a breath, then looked directly at you. “He found them.”

It felt like the entire world had been thrown into slow motion.

Your heart clenched violently as if your body itself was rejecting the enormity of the words. 

It was like something inside you snapped taut, a wire stretched too thin suddenly pulled to its breaking point. Your lungs forgot how to work.

Found them.

The words reverberated in your skull, echoing back at you with a weight you weren’t prepared for.

For so long, you had existed in a state of limbo, balancing on the edge of memory and oblivion. 

Your past was a collection of blurred images, shattered glass pieces of a puzzle that refused to fit together. You had convinced yourself that maybe—just maybe—it was better not to know. 

But now… they weren’t lost.

They were real.

You pressed your palms into your lap, grounding yourself against the spiralling sensation, but it wasn’t enough to keep the rush of emotions from flooding your system.

Your family.

They had faces. Names. A home. They were somewhere.

And they had been there this whole time, completely unaware that you were out here, lost, fighting to remember them.

Gojo’s voice pulled you back from the freefall. “They’re still in Tokyo.”

Tokyo.

That single word settled into your chest like a weight, dragging you back to a place you could only half-remember, an old dream slipping through your fingers.

The silence that followed was suffocating.

Nanami was the first to break it.

“You look like you’re about to pass out,” he observed, his voice calm but edged with concern.

You forced in a breath, though it felt like you were inhaling through a straw. “I just…” You swallowed. “I don’t know what to say.”

“You don’t have to say anything,” Gojo said, quieter now. “Just… process.”

You lifted your gaze to him, and for once, his expression wasn’t unreadable. There was something deeply human in the way he watched you, something raw beneath the confidence. 

You didn’t have to ask how long he had been waiting to tell you this—how much he had debated whether it was the right thing to do.

Your fingers curled slightly against your knee. “So… what happens now?”

Megumi, ever practical, was the one to answer. “If we can get you in front of them, there’s a good chance it’ll trigger your memories.”

“And if your memories come back,” Nobara added, leaning forward, “you might remember exactly what happened to you that night. And where Geto is.”

That name sent another jolt through your system, cutting through the haze of emotion like a blade.

Geto.

The one thread tying all of this together. The reason you were here, drowning in uncertainty.

Nanami adjusted his glasses. “The goal is twofold—recover your past and uncover Geto’s movements. We need both pieces of the puzzle.”

Gojo clapped his hands together, the sound breaking the tension. 

“So, here’s the full plan. We lay low for a day or so—make sure we’re not being tracked, keep out of sight. Then we head back to Tokyo. Ijichi will coordinate things from there, get us in contact with your family in a controlled setting. Then, we will figure it allllll out from there.”

The weight of it all settled deep in your chest, heavy and impossible to ignore.

This was happening.

Everything you had been chasing—every question you had been too afraid to ask—was finally within reach.

You just weren’t sure if you were ready for the answers. 

—

Sleep didn’t come easily.

Even after hours of tossing and turning, even after convincing yourself that everything was fine, that you were safe here, that nothing could reach you—his face wouldn’t leave your mind.

Geto.

That slow, knowing smile. Those sharp, calculating eyes. The quiet, eerie way he had spoken to you in the dream, like he had all the time in the world to break you apart piece by piece. It wasn’t just a memory. It wasn’t even just a nightmare. It felt real. Too real.

Eventually, exhaustion won. Your body gave in before your mind, pulling you under the surface of sleep.

But before you knew it, the nightmare crept in slowly…

Tokyo stretched around you, quiet in a way it never should be. No hum of distant traffic, no neon glow reflecting against rain-slick pavement. The air hung thick, pressing against your skin like something unseen was watching, waiting.

Then you saw him.

Standing beneath a streetlamp, his figure cut through the dark like ink bleeding into paper. The dim light flickered, casting sharp shadows across his face—Geto.

At first, he didn’t move. Just stood there, head tilted slightly, dark eyes fixed on yours. And then, as if he’d been waiting for you to notice him, his mouth curved into a slow, knowing smile.

"Found you."

Something cold gripped your spine.

You stepped back—he stepped forward.

Not running. Not lunging. Just walking, like he already knew how this would end.

The city warped around you, buildings shifting like they were folding inward, every alley leading nowhere. You ran anyway, breath sharp, pulse loud in your ears. No matter how far you went, no matter how fast—he was still there.

"You can’t hide from me." His voice was almost gentle. Almost amused.

And then he reached for you—

You woke up with a gasp.

The room was too dark, the silence too heavy. Your skin felt damp, breath uneven as you pushed yourself upright. The covers were twisted around you, tangled like you’d been fighting something in your sleep.

It was just a dream.

But you still felt the weight of it, still saw his face behind your eyelids when you blinked.

Then, before you could even think, the hallway outside filled with rushed footsteps—and then the door flew open.

"What happened?"

Gojo’s voice was sharp, breathless. His shoulders were tense, his hair a mess from sleep, his hand still braced against the doorframe like he’d been ready to fight something when he barged in. The usual teasing light in his eyes was gone, replaced with something heavier.

You swallowed, forcing your pulse to slow. "Nothing," you exhaled, the lie clumsy on your tongue. "Just a nightmare."

Gojo didn’t move. His gaze flickered over you, taking in the way your fingers were still clutching the sheets, the uneven rise and fall of your chest.

"Just a nightmare?" His voice was quieter now, but it didn’t lose its edge.

You nodded, feeling small beneath the weight of his stare. "Yeah. Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you."

His jaw tensed slightly, but he let out a slow breath, dragging a hand through his hair.

"Alright." He didn’t sound entirely convinced.

A moment stretched between you, neither of you speaking, just the quiet hum of the night pressing in around you.

Then, finally, he shifted.

His fingers curled loosely against the doorframe, like he was debating something. His mouth parted slightly—like he wanted to say something. But instead, he let out a sigh, shaking his head just a little.

"Well… get some rest." His voice was softer now.

He turned to leave.

And you almost let him.

But then, before you could stop yourself—before you could think about how desperate it might sound—you whispered, "Wait."

Gojo froze.

For a split second, you hesitated. 

You didn’t know what you were asking for. You only knew that the second he stepped back into the hall, you’d be alone again. And you weren’t sure you could sit with the weight of that dream pressing against your ribs.

"Satoru… can you please stay with me?"

You barely heard your own voice, but the way he turned—slow, careful—told you he had.

His expression was unreadable for a long moment, his blue eyes flickering between yours like he was trying to figure out if you really meant it.

Without another word, he stepped inside.

The bed shifted as he crawled in beside you, settling in just a bit too easily. He didn’t ask anything, didn’t make a joke or say anything silly—he just laid down on his side, facing you, and let the room settle into silence again. His presence was close but not overwhelming.

You both lay there, in that quiet space between the dream and the waking world. The air was thick with the unsaid, but there was something calming about the warmth radiating from him, the quiet reassurance of knowing he was there, just there.

You let out a small sigh, your body relaxing without you even realizing it. Slowly, your head shifted closer to him.

It was so subtle, you almost didn’t notice. But before you could stop yourself, you felt the shift—your body leaning ever so slightly into his, the warmth of him bleeding through the fabric of your clothes, pulling you in closer.

His breath hitched for just a second, but he didn’t pull away. He didn’t move. He just stayed there, his body offering the reassurance you didn’t know you needed.

After a moment, Gojo exhaled quietly.

"You okay?" His voice was quiet, concerned but gentle.

You nodded, feeling the remnants of the dream slip away, replaced by the soft comfort of his presence. "Yeah," you whispered. "Just... needed the quiet."

For a long moment, neither of you spoke, just the gentle rhythm of your breaths filling the space between you.

Then Gojo’s voice, soft but clear, broke the silence again. "I’m not going anywhere."

You let your body relax completely now, leaning just a little more into him, your head resting gently on his chest, the sound of his heartbeat steady and grounding.

The tension from the nightmare faded with each passing second, and, despite the closeness, there was no need for words. Not yet.

Gojo’s hand rested by his side, just close enough that you could feel his warmth, but not enough to invade your space. He stayed like that, not moving, just letting you breathe.

You didn’t need anything more.

There was something about the way Gojo lay there, still and present, that allowed your body to release its hold on the tension that had built up over the past weeks. 

It wasn’t just the proximity—though that was part of it. It wasn’t just his usual confidence or his gentle teasing—there was something different about tonight.

It was the quiet assurance in his voice when he’d said he wasn’t going anywhere. It was the way he had stayed, without question, just to make sure you were okay.

As you let yourself sink into the bed, feeling his steady breath against your skin, the world outside seemed distant, a mere echo. 

The edges of your thoughts, the worries and the nightmares, all faded into the background. It was as if, for the first time in what felt like forever, with him there, you could just... rest.

You could breathe without the tight knot in your chest, without the ever-present fear that something was waiting to catch up to you, to tear you apart.

And just like that, you fell asleep.

The quiet of the night stretched around you, soft and safe. No dreams of Geto. No twisting, suffocating nightmares. Just peaceful sleep—unbroken and untainted.

The sense of security in Gojo's presence wrapped around you, lulling you into the deepest sleep you had experienced in weeks. 

There was something soothing in the way he never asked for more than this, just the stillness and the shared moment of comfort.

—

The morning light crept softly into the room, casting a warm, golden glow over the tangled sheets.

The sound of birds chirping outside filtered into the quiet, a gentle reminder of the world waking up around you. But for the first time in a long while, you didn’t feel the rush to join it.

The bed was incredibly warm, the sheets a little tangled, your body blissfully relaxed and at peace. You blinked a few times, slowly adjusting to the light, the soft weight on your chest stirring a vague sense of familiarity.

For a long moment, you just lay there, letting the warmth of the room wash over you.

You felt... safe. Safe in a way you hadn’t in ages, not even after the most peaceful sleep you'd ever had. Slowly, you turned your head to the side, blinking once more as you saw the familiar, messy mop of white hair lying just beside you.

Gojo.

He was there, his arm draped loosely around your waist, pulling you closer even in his sleep. You were tangled up together—your bodies an accidental mess of limbs and sheets. 

You must have both shifted during the night, the unconscious movement leading to this situation. His chest rose and fell gently beneath you, his warmth radiating over you. 

The steady rhythm of his breathing was calming, and despite everything—the chaos, the danger—you felt a sense of peace you hadn’t known in months.

You smiled softly to yourself. Somehow, you’d slept through the night without the usual nightmares or restlessness. And here you were—tangled in the sheets, in his arms—feeling... completely relaxed.

You could hardly believe it.

This was what true rest felt like, the kind that seeped into your bones and quieted the loud, haunting voices in your mind. You felt a strange sense of security, something you’d never expected to find in this house, in the midst of everything.

The sound of Gojo’s soft exhale stirred you from your thoughts. You looked up at his face, his features softened in sleep, his usual playful expression now absent. It was a side of him you didn’t often get to see—a rare, unguarded moment. 

You hesitated for a second, then shifted ever so slightly, carefully disentangling your legs from his. But as you moved, his arm instinctively tightened around your waist.

“Mmm,” Gojo murmured groggily, his eyes fluttering open. The first thing he saw was you, your face just inches from his, the way you were still pressed against him.

His lips curled into a lazy, amused grin. “You’re awake already?”

You blinked, still half-dazed from the sleep, your thoughts slow to catch up. “I—yeah. I think I’ve had the best sleep I’ve had in... well, ever,” you whispered, still surprised at how at ease you felt.

Gojo's smile softened, and for a second, you thought you saw something genuine in his eyes.

He chuckled lightly, his fingers brushing against your side as he pulled you closer again, not in a possessive way, but just... holding you there, as if the two of you were simply drifting together in the quiet morning.

“Good. You needed it.” His voice was still low, thick with sleep, but there was a tenderness to it that made your heart skip. “And as much as I love waking up next to you,” Gojo continued with that signature cocky grin, “I think we’re a little tangled up, don’t you?”

You let out a small laugh, noticing how your legs were practically intertwined, the sheets now wrapped around both of you like a messy cocoon. There was something absurdly intimate about it—the way your bodies had found their place together in the night without thinking.

“Yeah, looks like it,” you said, your voice still soft but with a teasing edge. “I’m not complaining, though.”

His grin widened, his hand lazily tracing small circles on your back. “I’ll admit, it’s not exactly the worst way to wake up,” he murmured, his eyes now fully awake, but still heavy with the kind of sleepiness that made him even more alluring. 

“But I think we both know I’m not really one for staying still for long.”

His eyes flicked to yours, a glint of mischief returning. “I’m not saying I mind the cuddling... but if you’re trying to make me stick around longer, you might just have to get a little creative.”

You tilted your head, fighting the urge to smile. 

“Oh really—Is that so?” You teased, your hand resting on his chest. “I think you might be the one getting too comfortable here.”

Gojo chuckled softly, letting out a relaxed sigh. “Maybe... but I’d say we’ve both earned it, don’t you think?”

You rolled your eyes, unable to help the small smile tugging at your lips. “Shut up.”

Gojo let out a laugh, the deep, carefree kind that made something warm settle in your chest. “Ah, there she is,” he mused, clearly pleased with himself. “All sweet and soft when she sleeps, but the moment she wakes up—back to bullying me.”

You huffed, shifting to untangle your legs from his. “I think you’ll live.”

He smirked, propping himself up on one elbow as he watched you get up off of the bed to stretch. “Barely. But if you ever feel like making it up to me, I wouldn’t say no to a morning cuddle.”

You scoffed. “Dream on.”

Gojo tilted his head back, laughing again. “Oh, I definitely will.”

You rolled your eyes, the playful teasing already getting to you. As you moved across the room to open up the blinds, you whipped a pillow at him, not caring that it was soft—just that it might finally shut him up. 

“Really? A pillow?” he says, letting it drop to the floor as he stands up himself.

Your heart races as the playful tension in the room shifts. You clear your throat, trying to keep your composure. “Yeah, really. Now, I need you to leave so I can change.”

Gojo tilts his head, still not moving, but his grin softens slightly as he studies you. 

“You sure you don’t want me to, I don’t know, help you out with that?” He leans casually against the doorframe, that familiar mischievous glint in his eyes.

You cross your arms, trying to look unaffected, but you can’t ignore the slight flush creeping up your neck. 

“Gojo... seriously. Out. Now.” You try to sound firm, but there’s a slight tremor in your voice.

Gojo doesn’t budge at first, as if debating whether to tease you some more. But then, after a brief silence, he straightens up, dropping the act. 

“Alright, alright. You really want me to leave?” His tone is almost playful, but there’s an odd sincerity beneath it.

You nod, half-exasperated, half-embarrassed. “Yes. I’m not going to change in front of you.”

Gojo’s grin shifts into something that feels almost like admiration. He holds up his hands in mock surrender, stepping back toward the door.

“Alright ma’am,” he says, pausing to meet your eyes with a look that’s both teasing and respectful. “I’ll leave you to it. But just know, if you need help with anything else... I’m always here.”

With a playful wink, he lingered at the doorframe for a moment longer, his gaze lingering on you before you shut the door.

Gojo lingered just outside the door, his hand still resting against the frame. 

His usual swagger had carried him out, but now, in the quiet of the hallway, something unfamiliar curled in his chest, something that refused to loosen even as he exhaled.

His fingertips tingled with the memory of your warmth, the weight of you still imprinted against him like the ghost of a dream he wasn’t ready to let slip away. 

The warm scent of you clung to his shirt, something soft, something steady, something that made his pulse slow in a way he didn’t quite know how to name.

For a man who had spent years mastering distance—crafting barriers with laughter, weaving walls out of bravado—this was unheard of. 

It was second nature to keep the world at arm’s length, to stand just outside of reach where no one could ever truly grasp him. Even those closest to him, the ones who thought they knew him best, only ever got fragments, slivers of the truth wrapped in a smirk.

But you—somehow, without trying, without even knowing—you had slipped past all of that.

He could still feel it, the way your body had unconsciously curled into his during the night, seeking warmth, seeking him. 

It hadn’t been hesitation, hadn’t been uncertainty. It had been instinct as if your body had already decided for you. 

And the worst part—the part he knew should bother him more than it did—was that he had done the same. 

No resistance. No retreat. Just the quiet ease of two pieces falling into place, a flawless connection, a certainty that hit him harder than he was ready for. 

And damn, did he feel it—this was what it meant to become undone.

[imaginedanvrs]

a galaxy stands between us

part 3 l masterlist

summary: just as things begin to look up, you're introduced to someone you've been trying to keep far away

word count: 3.5k

warnings: mentions of past confinement, allusions to schizophrenia, violence, bullet wounds, breaking bones

“I say we leave now,” the certainty in her voice made the others around you chuckle while you gazed at her in a fond adoration. Her statement didn’t surprise you like it did the others, she had mentioned it the night before when you were stargazing. There had been no pressure to go to sleep at any reasonable time now that school was done with, leaving you to stare at the open sky before you until the stars made way for the sun’s glow. 

  “I’m serious!” She insisted with an infectious grin. “Y/n/n, agrees.”

  “She agrees with you on everything,” your friend stated. 

  “Besides, our first motel isn’t booked until Sunday,” another voice chimed, making your girlfriend groan as she fell back against the lawn dramatically. “We should at least start this roadtrip by following the plan.” You chuckled, watching all three of your friends continue to argue when you noticed you were out of squash.

  You glanced back at your house where you could see your foster mother preparing the dinner already. It was only early afternoon so she must have been planning something special. With your curiosity caught, you picked up the empty jug and started back towards the front door to the kitchen when you were struck with a piercing pressure within the core of your head. It felt as though every nerve in your brain was suddenly ablaze and clawing against your skull to escape. Then it was gone. You shook your head and continued on, only to open your front door and be struck again a thousand times worse. 

  You cried out, hitting the hard kitchen floor with a thud and unable to register your guardian rushing to your side as you clawed at your head enough to leave red streaks. You double over again, screaming and pleading with anyone who somehow had the power to make it stop. It did, but everything went with it. 

  The images flashed in front of your eyes like someone was flicking too hastily through their camera’s photos. There were faces smeared with blood from cuts that looked deep. The horror struck upon them was somehow more alarming, because they were looking right at you. Your best friends. Your family. Your lover. All stricken with a terror you inflicted. 

  “Please!” She begged, voice as hoarse as it was after the first football game you went to together. She was looking up at you, except she was looking far too high, more so when she fell back against the ground like she had done so playfully just minutes prior. Your girlfriend crawled away as fast as her slashed leg and torn up abdomen would allow. You didn’t understand. You continued towards her and opened your mouth to give your assurance and plead for answers but she cut you off with another scream. 

  Then it all stopped again. 

  The next thing you saw was her stunned eyes staring up at that same sky you had admired the night before. Perhaps the cloud her eyes had found was in the same place as one of the constellations she had pointed out, and that was why it was the last thing she ever saw before you had killed her. 

  You woke up with a start, sweating right through the clothes you had been gifted. In your haste to sit up, you hit your head full force against the solid wall and it fortunately struck you hard enough to stun you out of your panic. You held the back of your head as you focused on the handle on the cupboard under the sink, unwilling to close your eyes but needing to ground yourself to something. 

  Tears pricked at your eyes, from the dream or the pain you weren’t sure. Maybe both. You realised, with a drop, that this was something you were going to have to deal with - nightmares. You never had them under sedation and you also never realised what you had been shielded from, not that you deserved it. The dream was a memory from that day. It was no nightmare, it was the acts you had committed on the people that mattered most to you. 

  “Fuck,” you cursed, slumping back entirely. 

  You sat on that shower floor for a while considering how the hell you were going to deal with those unwelcome reminders, that could hit you as frequently as every night, when you recalled Natasha telling you that everyone on the team had made mistakes. It was only at that moment that you registered how her tone had insinuated that ‘mistakes’ was putting it lightly and that there might be a chance at least one of them was living with the same guilt you were. Then again, you weren’t about to tell them about your bloodshed so how could you expect them to do it. And maybe you were jumping to conclusions to ease your own mind and none of them had come close to committing the atrocities you had five years ago. 

  “How well do you remember it?” Asked a voice you wanted to ignore. But what the hell? Even if you were technically talking to an extension of your own psych, why not pretend just for a moment that he was someone real that you could talk to. 

You looked up to where he was sitting on the other side of the glass, leaning against the cupboards with his previously alive cloak pulled away enough to reveal the thin green fabric that covered from his waist to halfway down his thighs. You had vaguely seen the various tattoos littered across his chest before, though there were some along his ribs that you mind decided to add. Might as well keep him interesting. 

  “Just the aftermath,” you muttered. He nodded, carrying the same unbreakable severity he always did. There were faint lines between his brows, as though in his made up life he had been the bearer of many difficult decisions and challenges. You almost wanted to entertain the fiction and ask him.

  “The first one’s always the hardest,” he told you. 

  “It’s not going to happen again,” you hissed, repulsed at the insinuation. 

  “You really think you get a choice?” He asked, genuinely interested. 

  “I have to, I won’t hurt anyone else,” you told him firmly. 

  “Then you won’t be able to protect yourself from what’s to come.” You frowned, staring straight at the illusion you knew didn’t exist. 

  “So be it,” you shrugged. “Now leave me alone.” He sat for a few more long moments, as though he was considering you. Then you blinked and he was gone. 

*

“You can’t say that you wouldn’t get a little stir crazy being cooped up in your room all day and night,” Natasha stated, maintaining a steady jog next to the captain. 

  “I’m not unpredictable and possibly unstable,” Steve pointed out, watching the sun finally peek over the top of the trees in the far distance. 

  “And as sad as it is that you don’t have that interesting edge to you,” the redhead teased, “you’re a super soldier. Y/n’s blood tests don’t prove anything except that she gets cold easily,” she summarised. The pair continued to jog about the perimeter of the base as Steve considered Natasha’s argument. 

  He took a moment to appreciate his surroundings, the softness of the well maintained lawn beneath his trainers, encouraging his progress with the supporting bounce. The birds chirped in the distance as though they were greeting the two heroes as they passed. It was still a cool morning, but it would become pleasantly warm as the day went by and the air would remain just as fresh. It would do you good to be out. 

  “Okay,” he agreed. “But you bring Wanda with you.” 

*

You stared down at the bowl of lucky charms that had transformed into quite the depressing state. You were off of puree but you needed to make sure that your food was still soft while your body finished adjusting to the change. It was disappointing to let the sweet meal lose the crunchy texture you used to love and it felt even crueller to have to ignore the box of poptarts in the cupboard behind you. Still, it was a sweet meal that your tastebuds celebrated and you were pleased to have let Wanda convince you to come out for breakfast. 

  “The poptarts will still be there tomorrow,” Wanda assured with a small smile. “Unless Thor visits between now and then.” 

  “One of you is named after a norse god?” You asked. 

  “No he’s the real deal,” Wanda said simply. 

  “He’s the actual god of thunder?” You didn’t buy that one bit. 

  “I’ll introduce you when he next comes down from space,” she continued. You narrowed your eyes at the Sokovian, unsure if she was pulling your leg or not. There was no way she was serious…right? 

  “Anyway, it’s getting warm out there if you want to go out later,” Wanda offered nonchalantly. You shifted as you continued to eat, unsure where their intentions were coming from. You had a good amount of trust in the team that had opened up their home to you, but there were still some hesitations you harboured simply because as a whole, being there with them seemed too good to be true. The bear man agreed. 

  “Maybe,” you muttered unconvincingly. 

  “If anything were to happen, I could handle it,” Wanda told you. You caught on, she could handle you. Or so she believed.

  “How do you know?” You watched the brunette as she considered how to phrase or example her skills in the least threatening manner. “I’m not afraid of being restrained,” you told her, as though you were the one who could read minds. 

  Wanda lifted her hand and produced the same spirals of red that she had the day before. This time, that same red transpired across your frame. You glanced down at the crimson that ran across you, only to find yourself entirely bound. You weren’t paralysed, but it was as though you were back in your straight jacket only this time it extended across every limb. It only lasted several seconds before Wanda pulled away. 

  “What do you think?” She asked, apprehension clear in her voice and the way she held her fingers. You smiled back at her. 

  “I think-”

  “Stop letting them do that to you,” he demanded. “You are not some animal they can tie up and put back in a box whenever they please.”

  Wanda followed your gaze and you swiftly snapped out of your trance, enraging him more. He’s not real. He’s not real. He’s not real. Fortunately, Natasha appeared around the corner just as Wanda glanced that way, making it easy to suspect that was what had drawn your attention. 

  “I think I want to go outside,” you finished.

 *

There was a gentle breeze outside. It caressed your cheeks and the back of your hands, as though encouraging you to venture further into its embrace. As you closed your eyes and leant into the tender touch, several more light wisps passed you by, brushing your hair playfully before continuing on to whatever they could find next and content to leave you in the company of the two heroes either side of you. 

  It felt good to be out, to have the sun’s warmth finally hit you without filter or interference, just as you were able to feel every blade of grass that cushioned your feet (you weren’t a fan of shoes yet). It was almost as though the natural world was welcoming you back, as unrealistic as that was, and it was almost enough to make you forget why it had been so long since you had experienced it. 

  Your fluctuating companion trailed on behind you, occasionally making comments about the base that you had to ignore. He was persistent that day and you weren’t sure why. Perhaps if he kept appearing more frequently then you should tell the Avengers, seeing as they seemed to know how to deal with the majority of your…problems, but you weren’t ready to entrust them with that information just yet. 

  “All of this is just for your team?” You peered around at the collection of buildings scattered around the main base. Even the smallest ones were about the size of an average warehouse and you had to wonder what such a small team needed with so much land and property. 

  “Pretty much, we get a lot of agents assigned over there,” Natasha said, pointing to a cluster of buildings. “And sometimes they train in the forest because it’s so dense.” The tree line along the edge of the maintained ground did look compact yet still somewhat inviting, as though the tall trunks and thick treetops could shield you should you ever require the shelter. 

  As you continued on, the pair made the occasional comment about the base’s uses and you listened on curiously. They caught you up on pretty much all of the major events that had transpired between earth and the rest of the universe, drawing your attention to just how much the world had changed since you had been away. Gradually, it all started to make sense and you understood the need for a group such as the Avengers. Where there were superheroes, there were villains and apparently no shortage of them. 

  They told you about Hydra and S.H.I.E.L.D’s efforts to tackle their growing infestation that just never seemed to be cut close enough to the core. They told you about the first battle of New York that had given the group their opportunity to come together. They told you about the powered vigilante’s across the globe that they had to keep a close eye on incase they ever snapped or took things too far. They told you about Carol Danvers and her efforts to help those who weren’t her own people. The only parts they left out were how exactly either woman had gained and first used their own skills. They intended to, but your outing was cut short by the blaring alarms that sounded seemingly all around you. 

  You froze while Wanda and Natasha searched the perimeter in an instant upon recognising the nature of the alarm. “We need to go back inside, now,” Natasha said but you found yourself struggling to move as the alarms continued to blare. You couldn’t understand how the heroes were unaffected by the amplitude or vibrations that slammed against your skull. It was disorientating and caused a sudden panic to strike you. 

  Neither of them noticed because they were too set on identifying what had triggered the alarm, but the bear man noticed and watched you keenly. “Embrace it,” he told you as you were impaled by a pain you had only ever experienced twice before. 

  “No!” You protested as you toppled to your knees, clutching at your head in a futile attempt to push the pain out. It was too deeply embedded in you to be rid of. You couldn’t fight it either, not while you were entangled in fear. 

  “Hey, it’s just an alarm,” Natasha assured as she crouched by your side with concern written over her features. Your cries made her stomach drop. 

  “Nat,” Wanda said slowly as she stood, staring up at the sky. Natasha followed her gaze and cursed. Advancing towards the base were three choppers. They were sleek, jet black and in trained-to-perfection form that meant bad news. They didn’t deter their course once the obnoxious speakers echoed a warning to them. Instead, they slowed to a hover over the centre of the grounds. 

  “You think you can hold them off?” Natasha asked as you withered in pain. 

  “I’ll do my best,” Wanda nodded, feeling a dangerously protective rage come over her once she registered the FuturGenus logo along the side of the choppers. 

 “Y/n, I know there’s a lot going on, but we need to get you out of here. Can you stand for me?” You couldn’t understand what Natasha was telling you because there was an insistent ringing in your ears that only the bear man could pierce through. 

  “Protect yourself,” he demanded, plunging that dagger of fear deep enough to finally sever the remaining self control you possessed. 

  At the first sound of a crack, Natasha’s eyes widened. “I’m sorry,” you whimpered before the next bone threw itself out of its socket to make way for the muscle that expanded within you. It may have been slow to start with, but suddenly it was everywhere at once. 

  Your ribs snapped apart simultaneously as your stomach expanded along with your back. Your calves swelling along with your biceps as your heart pumped furiously to push more blood around the increasing surface area of your body that continued to grow as the colour changed. Along with your body reshaping every organ, muscle, bone and vein, your once thin and breakable skin hardened as scales formed. 

  If any onlooker hadn’t been so horrified by the unnatural scene unfolding before them, they might have admitted to there being a strange beauty about how the sun reflected off of the new scales that covered your body. They comprised of dozens of shades of blue that had no consistency or pattern to them, yet the sun caught the flecks of cyan, multitudes of navy and that which was darker equally before the slightly off streaks of white slates appeared on the most lethal new additions to your toughed anatomy. 

  Where the frightened features of your face had once been grew a set of viscous teeth and fangs that stopped where the lower part of the blade-like nose began, extending a few inches and then back over your deformed skull. It bore a sinister resemblance to the extra appendage that had grown from the back of your head and continued partially down your back until it moved freely from your body like a tail that was as thick as your evolved forearms and possessed another blade at the bottom. 

  Even when you had finally stopped growing it was impossible to make out exactly what you had become, especially as you stumbled and fought to navigate the creature you possessed. Your feet and hands, now maddened by the large claws that protrude from them, swatted at the air in a frenzy that made Natasha retreat as they sliced through nothing until eventually landing on the grass. As your body stretched and flexed to adjust, your claws extended while in the ground, therefore locking you in place.  

  During the hysterical process, your voice had transformed from cries of distress to something purely primal and anything but human. They weren’t exactly growls that escaped your enlarged vocal chords, but it was something prehistoric and a warning to the two women to keep their distance. 

  At your development, soldiers dropped from the choppers that you paid no mind to as you fought to free yourself. You were hardly defenceless though, because Wanda and Natasha stood firmly in front of you, back to back. As Wanda’s magic was fired at those that came charging towards them, Natasha kept her eyes trained on you and shifted them both anytime it looked as though one of your limbs was swinging too close to them. They didn’t exchange a word, too stunned or preoccupied to point out the obvious - this had not been what anyone had expected. 

  Wanda and Natasha weren’t left on their own for long, but Tony flew from the tower moments too late once a menacing machine gun was revealed in one of the choppers and fired down on you. Several rounds hit your thigh, drawing out a thunderous bellow from your lungs until you managed to free your claws and stumble to the side, still unable to control the additional mass you sustained. 

 Wanda dealt with the machine while Tony’s suit fired several warning shots at the choppers and stunned the men on the ground, leaving Natasha to be the only one to watch as you finally unravelled your body in its entirety. 

  You must have been almost ten feet when you, momentarily, stood to your full height. You were unable to keep your balance, especially with your thigh bloodied and torn, and landed back on your hands and feet that had been adapted to support such a position, just as the muscles in your legs had been. It was only once you did that you caught sight of the butcheress claws you had and it didn’t take much to presume the rest of you bore a similar image. 

  In your agony, you looked down at Natasha and was struck with the image of your dead girlfriend looking back at you. The redhead didn’t hold that same fear as she stared, transfixed, at your fire tinted eyes and pin-like pupil, but there was still a great suspension about how she could end up looking at you if you stuck around. 

  “Go,” the fur cloaked figure told you and for once, you didn’t need him to say it twice. You didn’t spare a glance back at the fight going on in the sky and on the ground past Natasha, or at the base where you had been so close to finding a lasting refuge. You had ruined any chance of that and your only option was the border of trees. You started towards them on all fours, ignoring the calling of your name that followed.

a/n: I know that reader's design at the end might be hard to envisage so I'll drop this photo to show the inspiration and vibes I was going for. this isn't exactly what she looks like though

[ranticore]

Hii 🥰 I love your art so so very much and it's inspired me to start drawing again after about a year and a half of nothing. I was wondering if you could do a quick explanation of how you draw creature heads? Even with skull references and stuff I'm having troubles particularly with the eyes / eye placement and cheek areas

hi thank you, i'm happy you've gotten drawing again. i try not to make fully drawn 'here's how i do x' tutorials anymore since realising that i would just be training people to replicate my mistakes and photos really are the best reference

however not many people know HOW to use photorefs so i will show you this thing i made for someone else who asked a similar question in my dms once. step 1 is to discard any hangups you might have about tracing. professionals trace. it's fine.

for an example of what i mean when i say drawn tutorials just teach you how to replicate mistakes: i got the knee visibly wrong in my drawing here lol. but for a guide you get the idea. you basically want to put on x-ray goggles when you're looking at photos. you want to be able to see through the animal and understand 1. the axial skeleton [skull, ribs, spine] first and 2. the appendicular skeleton [pelvis, limbs] secondarily. you want to understand it in a 3D space - see how in my traced sketch, I have blocked out the ribcage as a solid form using contour lines which describe a curve. i didn't draw every individual rib, there's no need. don't get bogged down in the weeds, this drawing should take like 5 minutes max

the reason we are tracing and not just closely referencing is because this saves us from also having to worry about getting angles & proportions right. we will worry about those later. for now we are gaining understanding of how a body is formed without the pressure of having to get it 'right'.

okay so you asked about heads in particular so we'll look at heads. in the thingy above you can see that i traced a kite shape onto the front of the cranium before filling in the snout.

it's a canine and not super interesting but i think they show really well what goes on with the frontal bones. the cheek bones form the two lateral points of a kite shape.

if you start your sketch at the kite shape you can turn it in space

what you are looking for is the kite. the kite is not flat. the kite is the front of the cranium minus the nose/snout etc, it is laid out over a curved surface. you will find the eyes along the horizontal line and the cheekbones tucked under the bottom faces of the kite. the snout/nose/etc emerges from the crosshairs in the middle and the cheekbones follow the outer edge of the kite, but not the jaw. this is how i construct all my faces, human or animal doesn't matter it's all this underneath. using it i can visualise the hidden parts of the face such as the obscured cheekbone

try to find as many different types of animal or human heads as possible and trace the kite onto them. then you will see

[dragonnarrative-writes]

Part 7 - Date Activities

Slasher Handler Masterlist

NSFW under the cut.

CW: Non-descriptive mentions of torture, numbers and math, brief nudity, allusions to cannon-typical violence (Ghost's backstory), red herrings, bones

“Where ‘m I?” You slur around a dry tongue. Struggling to balance your weight on your hips, try to wrap your arms around yourself. Too late, you realize that there’s not enough slack on the chain to complete the motion. “Where‘re we?”

You want to scream. You want to cry and hide your face. You’re horrified to realize that you want Simon, your version of Simon, to materialize on the edge of the bed and comfort you. Unfortunately, all you can do is blink and sway.

“If you’re dizzy, you should lay back down.” Simon’s voice from that jaw-less skull is so disconcerting. In your nightmares, the skull mask sounds inhuman. Distorted, echoing. The burning bush overlap of every person who’s ever made you unsafe. Now, it’s just Simon’s measured speech.

But the rest of him is just as big and dangerous as you remember. He’s dressed like he expects to have to fight someone. His black jacket is covered by some kind of utility vest with a bunch of pockets. A handgun sits in a thigh holster, and on his other hip is the Big Knife. He’s not wearing his usual boots, these are heavier looking. If you weren’t so overwhelmed, you’d be terrified.

The masked killer on the other side of the room tilts his head and regards you for a long moment. The weird silence is such a Simon thing to do that you let yourself take your eyes off of him enough to take a quick look around the room. His chair is by the only door, a solid looking wood. To the left side of the room, there’s a bare folding table. On it, from what you can see, sit bottles of water, a bag of grapes, and some brown packaging. There’s another folding chair. At the foot of the mattress, there’s a huge, black hard case. The kind you’ve seen in action movies.

“Right now,” Simon finally answers. “You’re in the safe zone."

You blame the drugs in your system. It’s the only reason you can think of to look him in his eyes and blurt, “That’s not a fuckin’ answer, you cryptic asshole.”

You’re glad you’ve learned to read his eyes, because they’re amused when he stands. Even across the room, he towers over you. You clutch at the blanket to, what? Protect yourself? But Simon just crosses to the table and picks up a bottle of water and a sleeve of saltine crackers. He chucks both of them at your legs before returning to his seat.

“Sip the water, eat slowly,” he instructs. “And I’ll tell you the rules of the game.”

You can’t think of a reason not to, so you struggle for a moment with the bottle cap before bringing the bottle to your lips. Your mouth feels gross and fuzzy, but the water is cool. The crackers, when you finally tear the packaging, are exactly what you needed. You wish you had some ginger ale.

“You told Kyle that I’d taken you hunting,” Simon starts. “But I hadn’t really. First time was a happy coincidence. Second time, you planned the date activity and I kind of hijacked it, yeah?”

If your neck wasn’t so thick, I’d strangle you, you think. You take another sip of water.

“So I thought to myself, what parts of hunting might my sweet, clever girl be interested in? How can I make sure she’s having just as much fun as me? And I remembered your little cubes.”

You narrow your eyes at that. The Rubik’s cubes were one of the first signs that he’d been breaking into your apartment. By now, he knows that you know how to solve them. Two weeks after he’d moved in next door, though, he hadn’t figured that out. It had made your skin crawl to come home from work and see the colors in the wrong places. Now, sometimes, he’ll present the cubes for you to solve while you talk. When you hand him the completed puzzle, he scrambles it up and hands it back.

“You didn’t kidnap me to make me solve a giant Rubik’s cube,” you say.

“No,” he answers. If you could see his face, you think he’d be smirking. “But the first part of the game is a puzzle. You have to get out of the room.”

When he doesn’t say anything else, you want to scream. Instead, you slowly eat your way through the crackers and sip your water and think. The metal cuffs on your wrists are far enough apart that you can easily reach the locking mechanisms. They’re just tight enough that you can’t wiggle out, but they’re not uncomfortable. You can’t see where the chain to the ground is latched, so if there’s a clasp on that end, maybe this will be more simple than you think. You doubt it.

Daylight is streaming in through the window behind you. The shadows of the bars are very obvious, so the only way out of the room is going to be through the door. Simon’s sitting on the hinge side, but the only way you’ll get out before he blocks the way is probably if he’s on this side of the room. Facing the table, maybe. Preferably not standing.

Maybe you can strangle him with the chain.

You freeze as soon as the thought enters your mind, cracker halfway to your mouth. Wrapping the chain around the neck of that death mask only makes sense. But the idea of killing Simon makes you feel like vomiting.

When you look back at him, his eyes are as heated as they ever get. “Don’t worry, precious. I made you a promise last night. No killing, no wounds. No “Saw” puzzles. Just a little escape room. Told me you like those.”

Had you? That sounds like something you would have said, back in the beginning, to see what he would do. You take another sip to clear your mouth and settle your stomach. You’re already feeling better. “What are the rules?”

“You’ve got ninety minutes to get out of the cuffs and get into the chest. Once you’ve done both, the timer stops, and I explain the next part of the game.”

“Can I ask you questions once I get started?”

“Of course,” Simon says, leaning back and crossing his arms over his chest.

You bite your lip. “When does the timer start?”

“You tell me when you start,” he says. “We’re not in any rush.”

“What’s in the chest?”

“That,” he answers, eyes crinkling with an obvious grin this time, “you’ll have to find out for yourself.”

That is not an answer you want to hear, but there’s nothing to be done about it. You rack your brain for any more questions. There are, of course, about a million. But the one that sticks out is, “Why were you so nice to me, last night? You could have just drugged me. You did, anyway.”

Simon doesn’t say anything for a long time, just looks at you. He holds eye contact, so you don’t look away. After a full thirty seconds, he hums. “You said you missed me. That you wanted to be with me. You asked me to stay. I liked it.”

The way he says it, warm voiced and slow and soft, makes the hair on the back of your neck stand up. There’s a spark of something in his eyes that you don’t want to examine. You’re too afraid to look away. But then he blinks and lets his eyes drift up and away from you. The breath you didn’t know you were holding whooshes out of you.

“Guess I’d better get started,” you say.

When you stand to the side of the bed, you find that you’re wearing one of his shirts, a pair of underwear, and a pair of socks. The room isn’t unbearably cold, but it’s not comfortable. The chain to your cuffs is much longer than you expected. You think it’s long enough for you to walk all the way around the room, unimpeded. If so, it’s long enough to get out the door, with a little extra slack. It’s locked to a loop bolted into the floor with a key lock.

You walk around to the table to get a good look at everything. There’s the water. The brown packages are four MREs, which you recognize from camping trips back when you were a teenager. There’s actually a few different fruits - grapes, apples, bananas, a bowl of chopped watermelon of all things. All of that is gathered on one side of the table. The side close to the empty chair has a manila folder. A glance inside shows printouts, three pages of text and forms, with some of the information redacted.

You let the folder fall closed and walk over to the chest. There’s two combination locks, each with four dials, one with numbers and the other with letters.

That’s two wrist cuffs, the lock for the chain, and two locks on the chest. If the cuffs share a key, this might be doable. If not… “Two or three keys, and two combinations?” you ask.

“Two keys, two combinations,” Simon confirms.

You do a quick calculation in your head. “A little more than 20 minutes per puzzle. That’s pretty tight, but doable. What happens if I don’t get it done in time?”

You turn to look at Simon and catch him looking at your legs. When he meets your eyes, his are smirking again. “You lose time in the second part of the game. And you’re going to want that time.”

With a sigh and a shake of your head, you walk to the wall across from the table. There are some cracks in the paint, a couple of scattered, discolored spots. But it doesn’t seem deliberate. So you leave it and head back to the table. The folder is tempting, but obvious, so you start with the fruit.

Bag of grapes, three apples, five bananas. You open the package of watermelon and poke around in it. No keys. Not in the bag of grapes, either. The apples and bananas are whole. But one of the bananas has a series of numbers followed by Xs written on it in black ink. 11 21 32 XX. You pry it from the others, carefully, and take it over to the folder.

The metal chair is cold when you use your hand to pull it out. You turn back to the bed and grab the thin blanket to cover it, then have an idea. You shake the pillow from the pillowcase and strip the sheets from the bed. No key, but the pillow has another set of digits and Xs written on it. 7 13 26 XX. You lift the mattress to look under it, but there’s nothing else, so you let it fall.

“Can I have a pen?” you ask, absently. You’re surprised when Simon plucks one from his vest and holds it out for you. You snort as you walk over to take it. “Can I have the key to the cuffs, while you’re at it?”

Simon’s eyes do something complicated as you take the pen. Then he tilts his head, reaches up, and pulls a thin chain from under his shirt. On it dangle two keys, one a tiny cylinder of a thing, the other a proper key. He lets them both drop against his collarbones.

You dart your eyes between the keys and his eyes. “Are you serious?”

“’D prefer if you opened the folder,” he says with a shrug. “But I do have the keys. Cost you… 15 minutes for one.”

“Did you just make that number up?” You laugh. Then it hits you and you glare. “You’re distracting me and stalling.”

“You asked,” he points out, chuckling as you whirl on your heel to go back to the folder.

That is neither disputable or worth responding to, so you don’t. You drop into your seat and open the folder. The first thing you do is jot down the numbers and where you found them on the inside. None of the numbers are repeated, so you leave them for now. Then you pick up the first sheet of paper.

It’s the service record for one Simon J. Riley.

A lot of the information is redacted. Most of the page is blacked out lines. But you see that he enlisted in 2001, had some kind of redacted gap from 2003 to 2004, then resumed his service. Then it jumps out at you. 2007, KIA. You can’t help but look up at him, and find him watching you already. You scour the page for any other information, but there’s nothing. So you flip the page.

This one is some kind of tactical… memorandum? Too much is redacted for you to be able to get much information about who the report is for, so you just start reading.

Mission to Mexico. Drug cartel, name redacted. Compromised leadership. Someone got double crossed. You start feeling sick at the description of torture, but most of the details are obscured, so you push through. Then a line makes you pause, and you have to re-read it. You flip back and forth between Simon’s service record and the report.

“Simon,” you say slowly. Your stomach is really twisted in knots, now. You’re afraid to look at him, but you make yourself meet his eyes. “Were you buried alive?”

He says, “Yes.” Your heart breaks.

The next few lines are blacked out. You really don’t want to ask, but, “How did you get out?”

“Blood, sweat, and tears,” he says, vaguely. “Probably not something you want to think about, sweet thing. Don’t want to waste time.”

“I need to pause the game,” you tell him. “because I just read that you were buried alive.”

“An explanation will cost you an hour,” Simon offers. His eyes are crinkled like he’s smiling.

“Simon.” Your voice is sharp to your own ears. “What the fuck?”

“Tick tock.”

You know from past experience that getting any more information from him will be like getting blood from a stone. So you make yourself read on. There’s a confusing bit about… brainwashing? Without the full context the report is a mess. Multiple civilian casualties, then… mission objective complete? Lots of blocked out text, surrounding a single word. ROBA.

You jot that on the lower half of the folder, then skim through the documents again for any numbers. Besides the years in the service record, there’s nothing that jumps out. So you jot down 2001, 2003, 2004, and 2007.

You decide this is a good enough place to start with the puzzles. The numbers on the pillow seem simple enough. You’re not good at math, but you’re good at patterns. You eliminate a few possible addition patterns, recognize it probably isn’t pure multiplication. Considering who Simon is, you gamble that there’s probably no fractions or decimals involved, so it’s probably going to be some combination of multiplication and subtraction. And as soon as you think of that, you see it. Times two, minus one. So the last number is 49.

The the second puzzle, from the banana, tickles your brain because you know you’ve seen it before. The numbers aren’t doubling. And it’s not simple addition. Adding in sequence seems to work. Adding 10 to 11 makes 21, then adding 11 works to get to 32. Plus 12 would make the next digits 44. That seems almost too easy, but these kinds of puzzles usually are. And it is a possible answer, so you write it down.

The only other potential numbers are the dates. If you pick the last four digits, that’s 1347. Another code. Unless it’s 2222. Or 0000. Or 2020...

Now you have a few potential 4 digit codes, and a possible 4 letter code.

“Time check?”

Simon looks at his watch. “Sixty-two minutes left.”

You hum an acknowledgment, and flip the pages in the folder, and the folder itself. There’s nothing else, so you leave the papers on the table and take your notes over to the crate.

Simon makes an interested noise through his nose. “That was fast.”

“Haven’t found the keys, yet,” you answer, “Gotta get a move on.”

You start with the letters, because it seems straightforward. And then you’re a bit stumped, because the lock doesn’t have a B available in the third slot. Or an A in the first. So you’ll have to find a cypher or something before you can tackle this one. Disappointing, but you still have time. You move over to the other lock and hope you have what you need. 4944 doesn’t work. Neither does 4449, 9444, or 4494. 2222, 0000, and 1347 are all a bust. You make your way through 1374, 1437, 1473, 1734, and 1743 before you give up.

“Fuck,” you grumble.

Crouched as you are, you have a new vantage point to consider. You scuttle your way under the table without putting your knees on the ground, and look at the underside. Sure enough, there’s a doodle of two bananas with a pillow in between. The dates were most likely a red herring. Or they’re the cypher to the letters.

“I got the numbers wrong,” you grumble.

“You’re a smart girl,” Simon says. “You can figure it out. Fifty-seven minutes.”

You scoot from under the table and make to stand up, but something on your leg catches your eye. Dropping onto the now bare mattress, you lift the edge of your shirt, Simon’s shirt, and see writing on your inner thigh, upside down so you can see it easily. Four digits, 01 10, and another fucking banana.

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” you groan.

Simon snickers from his chair.

You grab your folder and pen and jot the new string of numbers down. 01 10 11 21 32 XX. Obviously, adding in sequence no longer works. It’s gotta have something to do with the number of 1s in the sequence, so you try to let go of math related assumptions. The first two numbers swap their digits. Then two ones. Then a two and a one. Then a three and a two. Zero plus one is one. One plus zero is one. One plus one is two. Two plus one is three. Three plus two is… five as the first digit? Sliding the tens to the ones place is one, zero, one, two… three. 53.

Banana pillow banana, then, is 5493.

Before you go to check, you stand up to lift your shirt up to look at your belly, then higher to look at the skin of your breasts. You ignore the low wolf-whistle Simon makes to do a quick inspection. Nothing jumps out, so you let the shirt drop a bit and pull your underwear away from your hips. You feel a bit silly staring at your own crotch, but it’s Simon so you figure nothing’s really off limits. And you’re rewarded with the discovery of a piece of tape with a doodle of a heart on it. The tape is garment quality, which explains why you didn’t feel it.

The heart doesn’t really give you much, but you pull it out and slap it on the folder anyways.

“Forty-nine minutes,” Simon says when you look up at him.

Back at the chest, you click the dials to the number sequence you identified and grin to yourself when the lock gives an easy snick as it opens. The other lock is still a mystery, but you’ve got one down, and still plenty of time to request the cuff key if needed.

You turn to look up at Simon from where you’re crouched. “How much does a hint cost?”

He pretends to think for a moment. “For that lock? Flash me your tits again.”

“Nasty,” you roll your eyes as you stand up. You lift the shirt up to your neck and are startled when he sits forward to rest his hands on your hips. The skull mask gets even closer, and then he’s kissing over your heart, eyes locked on yours. He leaves his lips against you through his balaclava, thumbs rubbing over the place where your hips meet your belly.

You stare down at that bone face from less than two inches away. You used to hope it was plastic. Now you know for a fact that it is not.

And then he lets you go and sits back, crossing his arms over his large chest. He looks at his watch.

“Forty-six minutes.”

You gape at him. “Where’s my clue?”

“That was your clue.”

“That’s the least helpful clue ever,” you complain.

“You found all the other ones,” Simon points out. “But I’ll tell you the solution if you let me fuck you.”

You scoff. “I don’t need you to tell me. I can figure it out.”

“I know,” Simon’s grin is easier to make out this close. “My clever girl.”

You grumble, but you can’t help but grin as you try to think of what the four letter sequence could be. On a whim, you try TITS. The letters are present, but that’s apparently not the combo. Heart has too many letters, but maybe has something to do with feelings. The lock doesn’t have the right letters for LOVE, forward or backward. Same with HATE. You try SRSK for Simon Riley the Serial Killer, but that’s not it. You’re on a date, so you try combining his initials with yours where it fits, but that’s not it either. In a fit of pique, you try TITS again.

Then you take a deep breath and think about Simon and you. Your relationship. DATE, KILL, and CARE are a bust. AMOR, EROS, HOLD, BOND. None of them work.

You’re getting antsy because you still need at least the key for your handcuffs and you're running out of time, but you make yourself take a deep, slow breath. SLOW and DEEP don’t work. And then you pause and look up at Simon’s face. At the skull.

BONE.

Nope. But it was worth a shot.

But thinking about skulls and bones makes you think of skeletons. Dead bodies. Cemeteries. Simon’s service record, breaking your heart.

BURY.

The lock clicks open.

You’re giddy as you swing the lid of the chest open. And, almost immediately, you scramble backwards, shoulders colliding painfully with Simon’s knees. Without thinking, you clamber up until you’re perched in his lap, staring in horror at the human skull grinning up at you from atop black cloth.

A piece of tape is on the right temple. In Simon’s scrawl, it simply says BRANDON.

[writer-freak]

Hiii! If you Don't do requests just ignore it but if you doo... So i have a good idea (i think its a good idea 💔) its with Frank Morrison. Its already in realm, reader is also a killer, known for their brutallity and aggresive behavior. One day Frank and reader gets into fight! A brutal one, with falling teeth wounds and things like that! It can be nsfw or sfw! (But pleasee if you could make him not call reader sweet things like baby, sweetheart, Princess, sweetie 😺) Thanks love 🫶

A/n: I tried my best with this I'm not really the best at writing fights so this is maybe a little messy sorry😔

It started with a disagreement. Something stupid. Something that should have been brushed off. But with two killers known for their aggression, and their reputation of leaving bodies mangled beyond recognition, it was only a matter of time before a real fight broke out.

And when it did, fuck, it was brutal.

Frank barely had time to register the way your fist connected with his jaw before he noticed the coppery taste of blood flood his mouth. His head snapped to the side, the impact making his vision blur for a split second. But that was all it took for him to grin, licking the blood off his lip.

“Oh, you wanna play that game?” His voice was rough, amusement obvious in his every word.

You didn’t answer. You didn’t need to. The way you lunged at him again said more than words ever could.

This time, he was ready. When you swung, he ducked, stepping in close to slam his shoulder into your chest, sending you stumbling back a few steps. He barely gave you a second to recover before throwing a punch, aiming for your ribs. You twisted just in time, his knuckles grazing your side instead of landing full force.

It didn’t matter. You retaliated instantly, driving your elbow into his sternum with enough force to make him curse under his breath. His foot slid back in the dirt, bracing himself, and the second you moved again, he grabbed you by the collar of your shirt and yanked you forward quickly turning you around.

The two of you crashed to the ground hard.

You landed first, back slamming against the dirt, the impact rattling through your bones. Frank wasted no time pinning you down, knee pressing into your side as he aimed another punch straight for your face.

You blocked, forearm slamming into his wrist before his knuckles could connect. Then you twisted sharply, using your momentum to throw him off you, rolling until you were the one on top.

Your fist struck his cheek with enough force to snap his head to the side. A second later, another punch landed, and this time, he felt something loosen in his mouth. A tooth.

Frank spat blood and the tooth onto the ground, laughing even as he brought his leg up, knee driving into your ribs hard enough to knock the air from your lungs. The moment your grip faltered, he shoved you off, rolling onto his feet in one fluid motion.

You coughed, clutching your side for half a second before forcing yourself to your feet. He could see it in your eyes, you weren’t done. Not even close.

Neither was he.

You rushed at him again. Frank caught your arm mid-swing, twisting it behind your back, but before he could get a solid grip, you slammed your head backward, cracking your skull against his nose.

Stars exploded behind his eyes. His grip loosened. You used that split second to throw him over your shoulder, sending him crashing onto his back with a grunt.

Pain shot through his spine, but it only made him grin through the blood trickling from his nose.

“Fuck,” he wheezed, wiping at his chin with the back of his hand. “That’s gonna take a while to fix.”

You didn’t care. You moved in again, and this time, Frank was just a little faster.

His boot caught your ankle, sweeping your leg out from under you. He tackled you back down before you could fully regain balance, fists pressing into the dirt on either side of your head. You weren’t the type to stay down, though, not without a fight.

With a sharp buck of your hips, you reversed it, straddling him, hands fisting in his hoodie. For a moment, both of you were breathing hard, faces inches apart, chests heaving with exertion.

His fingers flexed against your thighs. A knowing smirk tugged at his lips despite the blood smeared across them.

“You always this rough, or am I just special?”

You answered by shoving him back down, palm pressing against his throat just enough to keep him there.

Frank’s grin widened. His breath came faster.

"You're fucking insane," he muttered, voice strained but undeniably entertained.

You leaned in, your own smirk mirroring his, your grip tightening slightly before you finally let go.

"Look who's talking."

Then, just like that, you were off him, standing like nothing had happened. Frank stayed on the ground for a second, staring up at the sky, chest still rising and falling heavily.

Then he let out a low, breathy chuckle.

"Next time," he said, wiping the blood from his nose, "I'm putting your ass in the dirt first."

You only shrugged. "Sure. Keep telling yourself that."

And fuck, if that didn’t make him want to start round two immediately.

[soongtypehuman]

Boo-hoo update

I’m sorry to say I have an update I was hoping to not ever have to make. Some of you already know that I have some serious health issues, but I've been pretty quiet about the extent of what I'm dealing with.

The gist of it is that I have a rare bone disease called fibrous dysplasia that turned certain bones in my skull into tumors and then those tumors grew inward and started crushing my brain, so I had a craniotomy last year to remove as much as was safe and got a cool new titanium implant in my head to replace the removed bone/tumor. The unfortunate result was encephalomalacia, which is the end stage of liquifying necrosis, and now part of my brain is liquid instead of solid (it’s dead, in a nutshell). Most people don’t survive encephalomalacia, much less remain able to function, and most who survive the initial stage don’t survive the three year mark. Even when you do survive it, it often continues spreading. The last MRI showed it had already taken over about 1/3 of my brain. But I’m a stubborn asshole and am still hanging on.

Unfortunately, things aren’t getting better.

I have to have constant MRIs, EEGs, physical and cognitive therapies, and have been on more meds than I’d like to be in order to control seizures and various cognitive issues. I didn’t mention this before, but I had to go through a series of speech therapies just to learn to talk properly again. And the most unfortunate part of this is that my ability to write has been affected. Since the surgery over a year ago, I’ve only made 10 new posts in the Positronic Rivalry series, totaling around 87k words. For reference, I posted over 200k words in 2022. I’ve posted even less this year, and it’s not improving.

With that said, I have to take a step back. I’m not quitting and I’m not walking away from the fandom. I’d like to think I’ll still be able to post here and there. I just don’t know when and under what circumstances that will happen. I most certainly can’t handle the longer multi-chapter fics I once could. Maybe one day, but not this day. Since I started posting on AO3 back at the end of 2021, I’ve posted every Sunday more often than not. I’m sorry to say I can’t make that happen right now, and can’t say when I’ll post again or what it will be. I won't be able to continue with season 4.

But I’m most definitely not leaving the fandom and the people and the characters I love so much. I’ll still be here interacting and posting when I’m able. This fandom and the people in it are incredible and mean a lot to me. Data and Lore and Star Trek in general are integral to my life and general enjoyment.

But!! I’ve nearly completed compiling seasons 1-3 of Positronic Rivalry as well as 2022/23 Kinktobers into files that will be ready to print in physical book format (completely free, obviously), which I’ll make available for everyone to download in various print sizes, complete with covers, which you can then have printed at various POD sites if you’re so inclined. Digital versions will also be available (you can already download various formats from AO3, but they’re not compiled into seasons, don’t have covers, etc.).

I’m also continuing with the Trek-themed crossword puzzles because those are fun and my therapist thinks making them is good for my cognitive rehab.

This update is a massive bummer for me, but I felt it was better to just admit my limitations instead of constantly trying to convince myself that I could continue the way I had been pre-surgery and beating myself up when I couldn’t.

Lastly, I’ve finally taken the suggestion I’ve gotten repeatedly and set up a KoFi. If you’d like to buy me a coffee or toss a coin to your android porn witcher, you can do so right here and I’d be giggling and kicking my feet in gratitude.

Anyhow, I want to thank all of you for being amazing and coming along on this ride with me for as long as you have, and for as long as it might continue in whatever form it takes.

[ninadove]

Nina reads Dracula 🦇

October 3rd

GOODNESS GRACIOUS I knew the horrors were coming but my feeble soul was not prepared for this level of violence. I may need a little bit of brandy myself, but all I have is coffee. Oh well.

"He came up to the window in the mist, as I had seen him often before; but he was solid then—not a ghost, and his eyes were fierce like a man's when angry. He was laughing with his red mouth; the sharp white teeth glinted in the moonlight when he turned to look back over the belt of trees, to where the dogs were barking. I wouldn't ask him to come in at first, though I knew he wanted to—just as he had wanted all along. Then he began promising me things—not in words but by doing them." He was interrupted by a word from the Professor:—

"How?"

"By making them happen; just as he used to send in the flies when the sun was shining. Great big fat ones with steel and sapphire on their wings; and big moths, in the night, with skull and cross-bones on their backs."

OF COURSE I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN

"So when He came to-night I was ready for Him. I saw the mist stealing in, and I grabbed it tight. I had heard that madmen have unnatural strength; and as I knew I was a madman—at times anyhow—I resolved to use my power."

🥺

With his left hand [Dracula] held both Mrs. Harker's hands, keeping them away with her arms at full tension; his right hand gripped her by the back of the neck, forcing her face down on his bosom. Her white nightdress was smeared with blood, and a thin stream trickled down the man's bare breast which was shown by his torn-open dress. The attitude of the two had a terrible resemblance to a child forcing a kitten's nose into a saucer of milk to compel it to drink.

K I L L H I M

She shuddered and was silent, holding down her head on her husband's breast. When she raised it, his white night-robe was stained with blood where her lips had touched, and where the thin open wound in her neck had sent forth drops. The instant she saw it she drew back, with a low wail, and whispered, amidst choking sobs:—

"Unclean, unclean! I must touch him or kiss him no more. Oh, that it should be that it is I who am now his worst enemy, and whom he may have most cause to fear." To this he spoke out resolutely:—

"Nonsense, Mina. It is a shame to me to hear such a word. I would not hear it of you; and I shall not hear it from you. May God judge me by my deserts, and punish me with more bitter suffering than even this hour, if by any act or will of mine anything ever come between us!"

They’re everything your honour 🥺❤️

"He had been there, and though it could only have been for a few seconds, he made rare hay of the place. All the manuscript had been burned, and the blue flames were flickering amongst the white ashes; the cylinders of your phonograph too were thrown on the fire, and the wax had helped the flames." Here I interrupted. "Thank God there is the other copy in the safe!"

THANK GOD FOR MINA

I turned to wake Jonathan, but found that he slept so soundly that it seemed as if it was he who had taken the sleeping draught, and not I. I tried, but I could not wake him.

The Dracula Loop™ never lies

'First, a little refreshment to reward my exertions. You may as well be quiet; it is not the first time, or the second, that your veins have appeased my thirst!'

A little refreshment??? FUCK YOU

You have aided in thwarting me; now you shall come to my call. When my brain says "Come!" to you, you shall cross land or sea to do my bidding; and to that end this!

It keeps getting worse where is my goddamned brandy

Jonathan’s journal starts exactly as happily as expected:

As I must do something or go mad, I write this diary.

And continues just as merrily:

As it was, he thought that on the attendant's evidence he could give a certificate of death by misadventure in falling from bed. In case the coroner should demand it, there would be a formal inquest, necessarily to the same result.

H O W

When the question began to be discussed as to what should be our next step, the very first thing we decided was that Mina should be in full confidence; that nothing of any sort—no matter how painful—should be kept from her.

Better late than never

"I should get a respectable locksmith, and set him to work to pick the lock for me."

"And your police, they would interfere, would they not?"

"Oh, no! not if they knew the man was properly employed."

"Then," he looked at me as keenly as he spoke, "all that is in doubt is the conscience of the employer, and the belief of your policemen as to whether or no that employer has a good conscience or a bad one. Your police must indeed be zealous men and clever—oh, so clever!—in reading the heart, that they trouble themselves in such matter."

Van Helsing mocking the police is not what I expected from this entry, but I’ll take it.

"Look here, old fellow," said Morris, "it is a capital idea to have all ready in case we want to go horsebacking; but don't you think that one of your snappy carriages with its heraldic adornments in a byway of Walworth or Mile End would attract too much attention for our purposes? It seems to me that we ought to take cabs when we go south or east; and even leave them somewhere near the neighbourhood we are going to."

LOOK AT MY QUINCEY BEING SO SMART

"Do you forget," he said, with actually a smile, "that last night he banqueted heavily, and will sleep late?"

Look at Van Helsing being Van Helsing!

Now let me guard yourself. On your forehead I touch this piece of Sacred Wafer in the name of the Father, the Son, and——"

There was a fearful scream which almost froze our hearts to hear. As he had placed the Wafer on Mina's forehead, it had seared it—had burned into the flesh as though it had been a piece of white-hot metal. My poor darling's brain had told her the significance of the fact as quickly as her nerves received the pain of it; and the two so overwhelmed her that her overwrought nature had its voice in that dreadful scream. But the words to her thought came quickly; the echo of the scream had not ceased to ring on the air when there came the reaction, and she sank on her knees on the floor in an agony of abasement. Pulling her beautiful hair over her face, as the leper of old his mantle, she wailed out:—

"Unclean! Unclean! Even the Almighty shuns my polluted flesh! I must bear this mark of shame upon my forehead until the Judgment Day." They all paused. I had thrown myself beside her in an agony of helpless grief, and putting my arms around held her tight. For a few minutes our sorrowful hearts beat together, whilst the friends around us turned away their eyes that ran tears silently.

Has she not suffered enough?

There was hope in his words, and comfort; and they made for resignation. Mina and I both felt so, and simultaneously we each took one of the old man's hands and bent over and kissed it. Then without a word we all knelt down together, and, all holding hands, swore to be true to each other. We men pledged ourselves to raise the veil of sorrow from the head of her whom, each in his own way, we loved; and we prayed for help and guidance in the terrible task which lay before us.

I am once again wondering how anyone could come out of this book thinking that A. the Count is some sort of sexual liberator and B. these men are motivated by anything other than love and a (somewhat misguided, but again this was 1897) sense of chivalry

To one thing I have made up my mind: if we find out that Mina must be a vampire in the end, then she shall not go into that unknown and terrible land alone. I suppose it is thus that in old times one vampire meant many; just as their hideous bodies could only rest in sacred earth, so the holiest love was the recruiting sergeant for their ghastly ranks.

HELLO????

I have written this in the train.

My tired brain read this as “I have written this in the rain.” I am devastated.

BUT ALSO we’re back to Jonathan writing in the train… Dracula Loop™ on a wider scale… Doubly devastated…

Back to Seward…

Last night he was a frank, happy-looking man, with strong, youthful face, full of energy, and with dark brown hair. To-day he is a drawn, haggard old man, whose white hair matches well with the hollow burning eyes and grief-written lines of his face.

To be loved and to love is to be changed…

His energy is still intact; in fact, he is like a living flame. This may yet be his salvation, for, if all go well, it will tide him over the despairing period; he will then, in a kind of way, wake again to the realities of life.

See? Resilience again! I am taking notes for this Feligami AU!

"Look out for D. He has just now, 12:45, come from Carfax hurriedly and hastened towards the South. He seems to be going the round and may want to see you: Mina."

Literally what would we do without Mina?

I could not but admire, even at such a moment, the way in which a dominant spirit asserted itself. In all our hunting parties and adventures in different parts of the world, Quincey Morris had always been the one to arrange the plan of action, and Arthur and I had been accustomed to obey him implicitly. Now, the old habit seemed to be renewed instinctively.

Literally what would we do without Quincey?

It was a pity that we had not some better organised plan of attack, for even at the moment I wondered what we were to do. I did not myself know whether our lethal weapons would avail us anything. Harker evidently meant to try the matter, for he had ready his great Kukri knife and made a fierce and sudden cut at him. The blow was a powerful one; only the diabolical quickness of the Count's leap back saved him. A second less and the trenchant blade had shorne through his heart. […] The expression of the Count's face was so hellish, that for a moment I feared for Harker, though I saw him throw the terrible knife aloft again for another stroke.

Oh Jonathan is pissed off

Her husband flung himself on his knees beside her, and putting his arms round her, hid his face in the folds of her dress.

Look at them… 😭

RIP Renfield you will be missed 😔❤️

< Prev 🦇 Next >

[therobotmonster]

Destructor Rex

A long time ago I grabbed a Lightyear Zurg figure at a Ross for around $8.

Lightyear bombing has been a bonanza of cheap, cool starships and custom fodder at Ollie's and Ross stores. I have the O7 Test ship currently being piloted by Evil Lyn (It's just a skosh too small for Origins guy characters).

I loved Zurg's huge figure's design, but have zero connection to that version of Zurg, so he was always going to be a custom. A Zuru Smashers Dino-Skull was a recent Bday gift, and it gave me an opportunity:

Zuru's high-end stuff is cool and comes with a ton of stuff your action figure collectors would be into, and one of the things that makes them cool is that they don't really blind-bag anything over $10. There's always a bone or claw or dino-head sticking out of the package that's color coded that lets you know what you're in for. In this case, a really huge hollow rubber dinosaur head.

So I popped it out of the nostril, traced the nostril hole onto some paper, used that to trace that onto the decapitated Zurg, dremmeled out the shape, made sure it was hollow enough for the plug, and boil-and-popped the head in place.

When it comes to boil-and-popping, be careful, the head is hollow and will hide hot water. But it also squishes nicely once heated and then hardens very solid once cooled, so I'm confident this connection is permanent.

The base of the head is D-shaped, so articulation isn't really possible, and you have to pose him kinda hunched (but that looks cool anyhow) but you don't need articulation when you're a foot taller than any other figure around.

The small Buzz that came with the ship I mentioned is in-progress with his own head transplant (from a smaller egg) but he will require some glue and I'm presently out.

[angelzofdecay]

Aftermath Blade x gn reader

Summary: after a mission goes horribly wrong you run to the only person you believe can comfort you. CW: cursing, violence, ptsd, blood, fluff, blade is gentle, ps he's only doing this bc it's you, hurt with comfort, happy ending. AN: I can't get this man out of my head so here's a short but sweet oneshot. I head canon that he's a mix of tsundere and yandere so that is totally reflecting in my writing.

As a trailblazer, you had encountered many monstrous beings before. However, this particular encounter felt different. The assignment was initially planned to be a simple one, but upon your arrival, the level of the curse suddenly transfigured to a huge fucking problem.

The creature's physical appearance was almost human-like, except for its nearly translucent skin and intricate armor adorning its body. Its muscular build was cloaked in an aura of immense power, making any attempt to replicate it seem futile. The sheer energy emanating from the beast was so intense that you found yourself trembling on your knees as you tried to stand firm. You completely forgot about the newbie who had tagged along with you. 

Neither of you were prepared for this at fucking all.

It blitzed towards you with insane force, leaving you with scarcely any time to protect yourself before being hurled through three solid walls. The intense agony rippled through every fiber of your being, almost rendering you immobile in its wake. It was at this moment, right before its fist went through your skull, your temporary teammate sprang into action, jumping in to save your life. 

You could make out the sounds of a blood curdling scream, bones breaking, and a powerful technique being released. It all felt miles away yet deafening at the same time. As your body was writhing in pain, you could feel your adrenaline surging, propelling you into action. Finally, with a sudden burst of energy, you managed to strike the final and fatal blow. But alas, it was too little too late to protect the life of Yukine...

The car ride back home began with a heavy silence. There was no conversation to be had, no words exchanged between the driver and yourself. Maybe the reason for the lack of communication was the fact that your throat was sore from crying or screaming, but in reality, it was just you. Your mind was in turmoil, unable to comprehend or articulate anything. The only thing it could focus on was replaying the events from earlier, over and over again. You felt a sense of terror grip you like never before - it was a fear so real and so palpable that it consumed your thoughts entirely, leaving little room for anything else.

Blade

Blade, patiently waiting for your return at home. Would he scoff at your perceived weaknesses or worse, abandon you entirely for your poor actions? You couldn’t help but painstakingly wonder what his reaction will be to the news that you failed to save someone's life today. In failing to do your job, to be strong, you let down not only yourself, but the one you cherished deeply. As a trailblazer, you know all too well how unforgiving this world can be, especially towards those who falter in their duties. But how would Blade treat your failures…

The car came to a screeching halt as you arrived at his home, your home. “Miss, I really recommend you go and see a doctor…” His plea fell on deaf ears as you stepped out of the car. You kept your head low as you reached the doorstep… What were you going to do when he opened it? 

You knocked once, twice, three times before your hand fell limp at your side. The sounds of his shoes pattering against the floor caught your attention. Each heavy and calculating step made your heart jump. The creaking sound of the door being opened, the light illuminating from the entrance, and the confused look on his face when he gazed at you sent you into a frenzy. 

“What the hell happened?” Tears began to pour from your eyes, you stumbled forward reaching for any type of solace. “I-I-m sorry” you hiccupped through sobs as you profusely apologized for how badly this assignment went. You practically fell into his arms, the warmth radiating off of his body enveloping you. One of his large hands reached up to run his fingers through your disheveled hair. 

“It’s alright, I’m gonna get you fixed up.” His face remained frozen in an unbothered expression; lips stuck in a thin line. If only you could see the shock and hurt in his eyes you would know he cared. Comforting another person was not his forte. Nor was he very good at taking care of another life besides his own… But he knew what it was like to fail, to lose, and to believe there was no coming back from it. Blade did what he assumed any person would do, he took care of you. 

He lifted you from the floor with ease, carrying you bridal style to your destination. The restroom, you desperately needed a bath. You couldn’t process him delicately undressing you or eyes only temporarily lingering on the delicate parts. You could hear the water running and his feet shuffling but the noise in your mind blurred it all. How many times must you relive it before you could have peace?

Blade gently washed the dried blood from your hair. His long fingers running through the knots and lathering them with soap. His moves were far more delicate when he scrubbed the blood from the rest of you, carefully avoiding intimate parts. The water was quickly turning a dark brown, but the smell was graciously covered by jasmine scented body wash. Throughout the entire bath you did not look at him, you did not move. You were still frozen in time, still stuck in that place. 

He adorned your body in the softest silk robe you had ever felt… Definitely out of both of your pay grades. Blade sat you on the edge of the toilet, getting on his knees so he could do his work. It’s important to note he never gets on his knees. He meticulously searched your skin for any wounds, glancing up at you to search for any sign of discomfort. 

He wasn’t a natural healer by nature, but he had his fair share of injuries. Any cut that remained was rubbed with medicinal lotion and wrapped so it wouldn’t get infected. He took his time with each injury, ensuring your comfort above all. It was odd, in all the time he’s known you there was never a situation where you were this quiet. And yet, it was the most comfortable silence of his life. 

There was no way in hell you were going to be able to eat tonight. He knew that the sight of anything edible would probably cause you to empty the rest of your stomach contents on his floor. He opted to immediately take you to bed and pray a good night's rest would fix you… Though he doubted you would be capable of sleeping after that. 

It was surprising, the way he gently laid you down and tucked you in. You were enjoying every second of the attention though you didn’t show it. His presence was fighting against your thoughts and forcing them away. You had a single moment of clarity when he turned to leave. 

“Stay…”

“Please.”

You grasped his wrist, pleading with your eyes. Blade appeared far more shocked than you imagined. This was the most expressive face he’s had since you met. He took a moment to process, to ponder, before he made his choice. “Move over.” 

He slid under the covers next to you, pulling your arms so they wrapped around him, and you were firmly pressed under his chin. His heartbeat, his breath, his warmth, everything about him was lulling you into a sense of ease. You raised your head to admire him just once, carefully gazing at every detail and embedding it into your brain permanently. 

His lips curved slightly, in an almost unnoticeable smirk. Then the other most unexpected thing happened that day… Blade gently pressed a kiss to your temple. His soft lips blessing you with their touch. “You’ll be okay, I got you.” 

[teaboot]

I'm a good artist. I know that.

For some reason, though, I've never been able to capture weight, or gravity, or that bone-deep oomph heaviness you get when your body hits the ground, a fraction of a second before your skull bounces back up off the pavement. No matter how I practice, I can't seem to grasp it in my mind.

I can handle motion. Inertia, movement, swinging wild through still air. Just not... depth. Interaction between the self and the outside. As a result, I find that a lot of my work ends up with this uncertain sort of weightless quality. Solid, but free-floating, no context to the action. A gamble with worthless stakes. A boxer leaping out of cotton to swing punches at clouds.

I've never been very athletic, either. I have no hand-eye coordination, and even though I'm strong and have a good grasp of the theory, my body stutters and slurs where it shouldn't, the way I remember holding a pencil was like when I was small and drawing circles.

I know that I axphyxiated when I was a baby. I know that I had a facial palsy that faded as I grew, went from an unresponsive mask on one side to a rare spasm that's embarrassing but harmless.

Recently, though, I found out that I was tested for brain damage, and absolutely failed the test for gross motor skills.

Now, it makes me wonder at the difference between reasons and excuses.

I try to be active, but I can't follow dance steps and my legs give out under me and I can't fight my way out of a wet paper bag despite four years of training.

Can my poor physical performance be attributed to a single bad result found over twenty years ago, or am I just not trying hard enough? Should I cut myself some slack, or is going easy on myself a result of seeking at excuses for failure?

Do I want to grow, really, or do I just want something to blame so I can be complacent in my smallness? Something to blame my failures on while I half-ass it? What if there's nothing there to blame, and I'm trying not to try, because trying is messy and embarrassing and difficult?

The tests I did also showed abnormally advanced fine motor skills. As in, I could draw my parent's faces before I could walk, and was illustrating stories before I could skip or balance on one leg.

Am I allowed to be proud of my art if my easy grasp of the mechanics was predetermined? If I can't be held accountable for weaknesses beyond my control, can I really claim ownership of skill which came to me the same way?

Am I a puppet through and through, a victim of the universe in every way, or is my every action and limitation a reflection of my psyche? A representation of who I am?

Does the dog chase the cat because that is what dogs do, or does the dog chase the cat because it wants to?

Is to be a dog to have the innate inclination to do things which dogs do?

Is a dog a thing with four legs which chases the cat, or is the thing with four legs which chases the cat a dog?

Am I what I am because it is what I was made, or am I myself because I do the things which someone who is me would do?

And what is the difference?

I'm going to keep dancing badly. I'm going to keep painting astronauts. I'm going to figure it out

[tiptapricot]

Kombatember Day 7: Artifact

Geras does not consider himself a sentimental being.

It has never been something in line with his purpose. He is a watcher, an observer, a fixed point to carry the memory of times past, not a part of it. One can hardly hold grief and love for all of creation when mortal life passes so quickly. It would weigh a heart to breaking, eat a mind alive, and yet…

And yet… the new era has made room for many changes. Why would Geras be spared from such rebirth?

When Liu Kang reconstructed him—from the shattered pieces of Kronika’s tool—he gave Geras warmth and light, molded him into a being with a soul, with autonomy and faith. He let him be a whole thing, separate from his creator, the existence of himself enough to sustain his heart indefinitely.

The Geras of now holds little comparison to the Geras of before, but he still does not… find much beyond his work to care for. He does not love humans, not as Liu Kang does. He does not have hobbies in the same way humans do, to fill time or grow to new heights. He simply Is, and Does, and Catalogs.

Even still, in his newness, small things have found their place by his side.

Liu Kang has long since left the hourglass to Geras’s watch. The gardens surrounding it, the buildings of wood and glass and stone, pulled from the void of existence and into being, are all his. Much of it was Liu Kang’s doing, at the start, a shared space to spend the final days with his mentor as Lord Raiden aged away. But as the millennia have passed, it has more and more become a dimension of Geras’s curation.

The shelves that once held memories of decoration are now filled with earthly things; pots and shards of bone, half burned tapestries and the well preserved weavings of a child’s shoe. Across the grounds, pieces of history have found their home. Spears from cave ages past share space with Roman shields and the heavy swords of the first Oshtekk generals. Time-frozen trees and blossoming flora whose names can now only be plucked from fossils stretch wide and full over the skeletons of dinosaurs.

Geras comes to a stop beneath one such tree now, pausing in the dappled light cast through its leaves by the shifting space above. His hand runs down to smooth over the skull of a stegosaurus resting beneath, its bones suspended to look as if it were sleeping.

Such lovely creatures… When their era came this time around, Geras found… enjoyment in interacting with them. He had learned so much from his infinite past that he now understood an infinite present. He got to show Lord Liu Kang how to clean ancient scales, and feed herbivores from his palm, and how each species dozed differently under the sun.

Geras frowns.

It is… not that he’s sentimental, no, more that he… cares. He cares for things that have been lost. He cares for the physical memory this world has lived to create. He cares, this time, for the love he could not see in it before.

“Woouff!”

Geras glances up, a rare smile gracing his face as he sees a small form cresting forth from the swirls of cosmic beyond the hourglass’s courtyard.

This, he will admit, is a soft spot of preservation he treasures dearly.

“Привет, Лайка,” (Hello, Laika) he greets, kneeling down to meet her as her feet meet solid ground, her tail wagging at rapid speed as she pushes up beneath his fingers. Geras chuckles. “Have you enjoyed your latest expedition?”

She yips again, licking at his knuckles, and he smiles. “I am glad,” he murmurs, scritching behind her ears.

It was surprisingly easy to convince Liu Kang to let him save her. One being out in space, no eyes to see it happen, no body to recover later. A kind creature worthy of seeing time’s end, who time itself would neither miss nor forget. She still looks almost as young as she did at her launch nearly seventy years ago, the spells weaved beneath her fur glowing warm and vital as she rolls over to bear her stomach.

Geras huffs, settling next to her and taking a rare moment to relax beneath the trees, his palm smoothing over her chest.

“Good dog,” he whispers.

He may not be a sentimental being, he thinks, but he will be forever grateful to have grown into a loving one.

[sanctus-ingenium]

i answer your asks vol 4

-

I'm not american. I HAVE heard back from Inprnt re: the $180 i requested a withdrawal for in july. They say that this has been a common issue lately (no kidding). They cancelled my withdrawal request and made a new one, saying it was some sort of issue with paypal. Yeah idk I think I'll wait for this new request (and the final withdrawal too) to be fulfilled before they start to earn back any amount of goodwill from me.

-

I think that's an interesting progression for the technology but I don't believe it's the logical next era, even centuries down the line. What I see potentially occurring is the democratisation of smaller engines. The majority of Mercury enginesmiths make small engines - and bear in mind that an 'engine' can be thought of as a catch-all term for any magic device that runs on dragonsblood. Things like long distance messaging, basic calculators, astronomy tools, Sir Victory's arm, that sort of thing - any of these magics are built off the back of a small combustion engine. And these are far more easy to pass into the hands of the public (as many already are) than something huge and specialised that requires an army just to maintain it.

Think about the supersonic bomber aircraft race during the cold war that brought about planes like the valkyrie - incredible technology, sure, but it wasn't replaced by a faster better plane, it was replaced by long-distance missiles that fulfilled the role better. It is more feasible that the Mezian church would develop more efficient ways to get their dragonsblood fuel than using holy beasts at all. The holy beasts are more likely to be made obsolete by some kind of, idk, harpoon with siphon kind of thing than a zoid type beast.

I can't speak about the conservation status of dragons but one of the main duties of an alchemist within the church is to handle fuel, and lately there have been new orders to synthesise a viable alternative to dragonsblood. Not because of a dragonsblood shortage (although there is one, this order came before that) but because dragonsblood is still too accessible to everyone else. A fully proprietary fuel even more absolutely under their control would solve a lot of problems for the church.

-

Church doctrine states that it is bone ;)

-

if you mean Krokodilos/Crocodile, no, the size difference between Guinefort/Nosewyse and croc was huuuuge and their heads couldn't be interchangeable. Krokodilos is the longest (though not the tallest) holy beast and he's not a dragon, he is a crocodile :)

Saint Guinefort was beheaded for an unrelated reason.

Here I can make a little diagram. When I say Nosewyse is tiny I mean it is tiny.

Croc's head is small for his body size though. His skull was recovered only in fragments and the rest was artistic interpretation on the part of the armoursmiths who made the chassis.

I also discovered that Krokodilos's tail is exactly 1 Pantera long. The huge tail was shielded without the vertebrae left bare because it had to serve as a counterbalance for the rest of croc's body, so it had to be very heavy.

ngl Krokodilos was originally a joke holy beast because i saw that drawing of a crocodile where it looks Like That and went haha funny... I'm glad to get a chance to actually write some solid stuff about him.

[jynxeddraca]

Tiefling head canons

Because I'm in a mood and thinking about tieflings makes me happy. Some of these I've thought up independently, some I've seen elsewhere online and can't recall where but I've just folded into my head canons.

Totally got this idea from another person's post but I fully embrace that some tieflings can purr. In those that can it ranges from a noise that's high in the throat or very deep in the chest. I like the idea some can do it at almost a subsonic frequency so there's not any noise but their whole chest/body still vibrates.

Tieflings have dark-vision - therefore they have that cat eye glow in low light/the dark. No I will not accept feedback at this time.

I am always a fan of them having other senses sharper than humans. Not like 'I can smell your blood through your skin from across the room and hear a cricket fart' kind of thing - but definitely pick up on things a human is nearly sure to miss.

Not a fan of tieflings going into a true heat/rut where they go totally 'must fuck now' but them getting a random heightened burst of pheromones now and then after they've been with a partner for a while - especially if there's been a lot of biting involved. Basically it's the tiefling equivalent of women who get really super frisky right around the time they ovulate.

A very common home remedy among tieflings is a mixture of broth, oil, and sulfur - and every family has it's own ratios. In that same vein a common hangover cure is broth, charcoal, and oil.

Diets are the epitome of 'opportunistic'. They prefer meat heavy diets, especially rare/raw red meats, while also enjoy the gristle, bone marrow, and blood. They can eat anything a human could, and quite a bit humans can't. This includes rocks, bones, some things that are mildly toxic/poisonous, and foods that have have gone off with minimal to no ill effects.

Because of previous point - food poisoning is extremely rare for them to get.

Tail body language is just as much apart of conversations as hand gestures and while much of it is similar to cats - meanings can get complicated.

I see horn grabbing/pulling a lot in posts but I don't feel a lot of tieflings as being super comfortable with it if the other person isn't also a tiefling.

Honestly, I see a lot of tieflings being wary about non-tieflings trying to get with them because it seems to me a lot of people in world would either demonize or fetishize their "infernal traits".

That being said, they're also not opposed to relationships outside of other tieflings and some tieflings will happily use people's curiosity/fetishization to their advantage and work at brothels.

If a tiefling has one or both parents who aren't tieflings, then they can take on traits from the non-tiefling parent (ex. one parent is an elf, tiefling kid has a lifespan more akin to a half-elf). They, and their kids, are also more likely to have a kid that does not look like tiefling if they have a baby with another non-teifling.

I fully think that a solid 1/3 of all "surprise" tiefling babies are not because a parent made an infernal pact, but because both parents somewhere in their lineage have a tiefling ancestor and they just don't know.

You've heard of tieflings being raised by humans? Well I think, because of the last two points, the reverse happens as well and you can get what appears to be a fully human/elf child birthed and raised by a tiefling.

Tieflings totally have a higher normal body temp. Probably around the 100F-105F range.

Regardless of how big or small their horns are, their skulls are still thicker for weight distribution. Many tieflings can, and will, headbutt someone in a fight. Even if a horn doesn't hit you - the blow is likely to break a bone in your face and they will not even be fazed.

Headaches and neck/shoulder tension is really, really common both because of the added weight of the horns when they're adults and when the horn itself is first growing in as a kid.

I imagine most tieflings have horns that are primarily made up of a keratin sheath around a much smaller horn bone (like how cow or goat horn are). Because of this they don't have lots of feeling in their horns and some tieflings might pierce their horns in places for decoration.

Some tieflings that have antlers also shed their antlers just like deer do. I will not be taking feedback at this time.

The pattern and shape of ridges on their skin is unique to every tiefling - but most of them tend to appear and follow bones closer to the surface (ribs, hips, knees, elbows, etc)

[nezu-spiketown]

Hey there pal, its me, ya gurl @toxic-spike-plumeria

👁️: How firm is your character's grasp on reality?

🧸: does your muse have any comfort items? What reaction would they have to it being taken away from them?

🕳️: What would startle your muse?

👁️: How firm is your character's grasp on reality?

His grasp on reality is actually pretty solid, sometimes even being too solid - he sees things quite plainly for what they are, often even possessing a highly keen eye to things others prefer to keep hidden. He’s very aware of his surroundings and key players in his world.

There isn’t generally much to be had for delusion, but there is some occasionally. If something does trigger it, he can be inclined to some trauma flashbacks of events that caused him great pain or distress, and is highly HIGHLY prone to depression and occasional hostility - not violence for the most part, but he can be quite surly and standoffish at times. That said, he has a history that did include high acts of aggression that he still harps on himself about internally. He’s very hard on himself even if he won’t necessarily say why most of the time. He’s a bit guarded and defensive because of these factors, but once he’s let his walls down, he’s truly a very kind and gentle soul.

🧸: does your muse have any comfort items? What reaction would they have to it being taken away from them?

Not comfort per se, but he does have a very nice albeit display only guitar pick made of stone with gold inlay of a cubone skull with crossed bones below it. It is the first thing he ever managed to win on his own for his music, and he’s had it in his recording studio ever since as a good luck charm. If it goes missing it wreaks havoc on his mind because he believes it is lucky. It’s also in large part because it’s the first thing of his own that he can truly say brought him great pride and true joy. It’s deeply special to him and he never lets anyone touch it. He doesn’t even have it on display to be seen, so if he even lets you into his recording studio, let alone allows you to get anywhere near this trinket, you can bet he trusts you fully.

🕳️: What would startle your muse?

He’s not a fan of loud people, which he finds irksome, but he’s not too easy to truly startle. You can get him with a good jump scare if you can manage sneaking up on him, but otherwise the only things that would startle him are things that concern his very few close loved ones. Something that could threaten them, or if they are later than usual to contact him when they said they would, this unsettles him, and it can make him feel deeply uneasy.