#the shuffle wasnt shuffling

[enfleures]

tagged by the lovely @sabrinstudies (maybe literally 2 years ago) but i thought this might be fun

rules: set your entire music library to shuffle and report the first ten tracks that pop up, then tag ten people to do this!

1. all the good girls go to hell - billie eilish

2. wait for it - h.e.r.

3. location - khalid

4. idontwannabeyouanymore - billie eilish

5. we find love - daniel caesar

6. coaster - khalid

7. angels - khalid

8. ultralight beam - cub sport

9. pray - sam smith

10. little rowboat - daniel caesar

i tag: @luthiest @stuhde @shlrleystudies @ronanlynch @castudies @productivityrocks (if y’all wanna do this ofc) + anyone else who feels like it <3

[tripp-pants-sora]

Me: I dunno spotify I just feel real low

my spotify, infected with a virus that makes it constantly recommend electro swing: would some electro swing help

[try-set-me-on-fire]

Ok well i had the brief thought “what about an ER nurse Eddie au?” and then this popped fully formed into existence so fuck it Friday pt 2.. warnings for smoking and vague references to critically injured kids

“That doesn’t seem very healthy.”

Smoke curls up from the cigarette held loosely in Eddie’s hand. “It’s not, particularly.”

Buck’s hands are in his pockets as he strolls away from the glass doors out into the ambulance bay where Eddie is doing the mature, professional equivalent of playing hide and seek. He comes to a stop barely a foot or two away from where Eddie leans against grimy concrete. “Didn’t know you were a smoker.”

“I’m not,” Eddie sighs, “Particularly.” He looks over Buck’s face as he takes a drag, cataloging bruises and cuts. He hadn’t been the one to look him over before he was discharged, probably because he was out here avoiding having to do so. “Only when it’s- only after the bad shifts.” And only once a month, even if the bad shifts come again and again. He bought this pack in January, it’s stale as shit.

Buck’s eyes follow the smoke as it drifts skyward. “Rough one today?”

Eddie thinks he probably doesn’t have to explain to Buck that it’s sometimes better when a kid is dead on arrival so he doesn’t have to try his best to administer care he knows will be useless. He doesn’t have to explain a day where nothing goes right and he loses more people than he can save and he still has to walk away from someone’s parent or wife or sister, left behind forever in a waiting room on the worst day of their life, and go on to lose the next person too. Doesn’t have to explain why he’s out here, and not in there. “Mm. We’ve got this repeat customer, always hate to have him back.”

Buck’s eyes flick to his face before they settle somewhere around his elbow. “Yeah?”

“Yeah. He seems like a nice guy. I worry about him. He’s here too often.”

Buck doesn’t look up. “What was he in for this time?”

“Minor concussion. Bruising. Lacerations.” Eddie sucks cancer into his lungs. “Heard a house fell on him.” Exhales it into the night.

Buck does look up this time, eyes a darker blue out here in the shadows. “Part of a house. Just a staircase and the- like, the balcony, really.”

“Maybe he should stay away from those.”

“From houses?” Buck asks, half his mouth twitching into a smile.

Eddie rests his head on the wall behind him. “Guess that’s not really practical.”

“No.” Buck is quiet for a moment, one hand slipping out of his pocket and running through his hair. Eddie wonders what he looks like, when he’s not here. He’s more styled, sometimes, when things aren’t very bad. He wonders if he’s usually all gelled up and neat. Eddie kind of likes the loose curls. “I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

“Making your day worse.” Buck looks genuinely apologetic, and Eddie shakes his head.

“The guy made it out okay this time.” Buck is just close enough that Eddie can kick at his boot with his sensible orthopedic sneaker. “You didn’t even need stitches.”

“That’s good.” Eddie’s left foot is pressed along the inside of Buck’s right, and Buck is staring down at them. “His favorite nurse was on break. I would have missed you if someone else had to do them.”

Eddie laughs, just a few bursts of soundless oxygen. “You gotta find new ways to see me before something happens that I can’t fix.”

Buck moves, taking the few steps necessary to lean against the wall beside him. Carefully, he takes the cigarette from Eddie’s hand, holds it between two of his own fingers, and takes a drag. Eddie watches it happen like he’s monitoring somebody’s pulse ox, and when Buck coughs he laughs again, louder this time. “Fuck,” Buck says, laughing too. “Thought that would be cooler than it was.”

“Smoking isn’t cool, firefighter Buckley,” Eddie says, taking the cigarette back and pulling from it again between smiling lips.

“Hm,” Buck says, grinning out into the night. Then he sighs, and rolls his head along the concrete to look at Eddie. “I think there’s nothing you can’t fix.”

They’re very close. “There’s lots I can’t fix.”

Buck shrugs like he disagrees. “I also think I’d like to find other ways to see you.”

Buck’s eyes are even more in shadow at this angle, and they’re the color of the lake back in El Paso that he and a bunch of kids went to after graduation, drunk off beer somebody’s cousin got for them, skinny dipping with breathless terrified delight under bright constellations. “Then ask me.”

Buck inhales as Eddie exhales. “What time’s your shift end?”

“5:30 AM. So, probably 6:15.”

Buck traces the two fingers he’d used to hold the cigarette down Eddie’s arm. “You wanna get breakfast with me?”

“Yes. I would.”

Buck smiles, and Eddie snubs out the cigarette on the wall between them. “I’ll meet you here?”

“Alright.” He takes a step forward, then a step to the right so he’s standing in front of Buck. “Two hours.”

“Uh huh.”

He should really get back inside. They’re understaffed, as always, and there are too many patients, as always, and not enough beds, as always. “See you then.” He doesn’t make any move to leave.

“See you then,” Buck almost whispers. He leans forward, and Eddie still doesn’t move, so he presses a tiny kiss to the corner of his mouth for just a moment. His lips are warm. Eddie hadn’t noticed it was cold outside.

Buck pulls back and leans against the wall again. Eddie smiles, puts a hand in his pocket, and walks back toward the doors.

[coriander-candlesticks]

I've felt like I should check in with Apollo the past few days and finally managed to clear enough space on my floor to feel alright with breaking out the tarot deck again so I did! Lit his candle, said as as formal a prayer as I could muster beforehand, asked Hermes to help with communication, the whole shebang. For further context: I've been wanting to ask Aphrodite something specific (also via tarot, it's the most grounding tool I've got) but I only have the one deck at the moment and, while I've used it to ask Hermes about things in tandem with Apollo, and Aphrodite introduced herself via it (with a card that also introduced Apollo), I wasn't sure if it would be cool for me to use it to ask her specifically something not in direct tandem with Apollo. I mentioned that in the prayer but also said that that might be a question for a different session, since trying to get an answer to that (on top of the general "hey how are we doing/do you have anything you want me to learn") might muddy my ability to understand the message.

Cue twelve cards falling out of my deck/poking out while I was shuffling. I usually pull ~3 cards on top of whatever falls out, but I ended up not feeling like it was needed. Seven of them fell out face-up, too.

Despite having some concerns about whether all of the cards were "supposed" to be pulled, it was pretty coherent! And covered quite a few things I've been thinking about recently, including sorting out anxiety vs a warning/displeasure, a follow-up of a card that was the focus of my last pull, and a reminder to look at outside/intellectual sources to combat the whatever-the-fuck-my-brain's-on. There were four cards that fell out face-up together in a pile: a card I associate with Apollo at the front and one associated with Artemis (the Moon) at the back, with cards related to unity & growth in the middle. I'd had a pretty bad experience attempting an offering to Artemis last month and have stepped back and avoided asking her for anything or specifically invoking her in prayers/offerings/etc. since (except for once when it involved a pregnant friend b/c it seemed odd and tbh a little disrespectful to ask Apollo for help and not her as well) because I took it as a sign that she didn't want me to work with her. I'm also aware, though, that that bad experience could have just been a meltdown/panic attack. Regardless of whether it was either of those two things, a "hey slow down" warning, or a combination, it was nice to have some clear reassurance & an official introduction. It's also significant, I think, that part of the Moon card's message is about not letting anxiety/"self-deception" (direct from the guide) cloud your intuition. I've been wanting to burn the candle I dedicated to her for a few days now- it's possible that was a sign from her as well.

As far as the deck-use question...the first card that fell out was the Empress (face-up, reversed). My initial thought was that it was a "no", but I decided to look at the meaning in case it wasn't that which was. probably a bad idea. It freaked me out a bit because I couldn't figure out what it was referring to. I ended up using my alphabet oracle tiles for a makeshift yes/no system after finishing with all the other cards and got clear confirmation that my instinct was, in fact, correct.

All in all it was really cool?? By far the most cards I've had in one pill iirc, and a good lesson in identifying how my intuition works.

[shinzoku]

Thinking about how in 2019 I saw a doctor because I couldn't breathe and they told me I was fat. So I started trying to work on it but after camping I went to urgent care because I quite literally couldn't breathe. Of course I made an appointment with the doctor and they kept telling me I'm fat so I went to an asthma specialist later and had to be put on steroid inhalers for almost a year because my lungs were so shredded and destroyed. Then in 2021 I saw the doctor because my ear was clogged and they did the water tube treatment thing but she had looked at me with such disgust and disdain while doing it I thought I did something wrong. Now my ear doctor that I had to seek out specially because they said my ear problems are because I'm fat(?) and had allergies (and then they tried to sell me an mlm allergy cure all) said that the bad ear cleaning possibly led to a 3 year long raging ear infection I thought was allergies this whole time. And now I might have permanent hearing loss in my ear.

Needless to say I stopped going there ages ago but man... they were pretty alright up until about 2020.

[fortheturnstiles]

tagged by @charlestrask to shuffle my on repeat playlist & post some songs for ppl to vote on their favorite :-) yippee

i will tag .. @northcountrymaid @hoppkorv @chicken-delight @mellotronmkll 😁🫶🏻

[metaphors-and-cats]

i think taylor should add spelling is fun back into me! and make a separate me! (Unfun Version) for the haters

[eir-parade]

i literally never like openly talk about my ideas and thoughts about things because im always scared but im biting the mfing bullet her and posting this because i just really wanna get this out here before i get too silly

anyways parade's silly lil pjsk unit shuffle au

getoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyhead

[klutzytomb]

this is horribly self ingulgent but I need to share the fact that she has a playlist

[laulo821]

introducing coração :]

[rexscanonwife]

OH FUCK I JUST REALIZED THIS SONG IS ABOUT BREA AND REX 😭😭😭

BRO LIKE...I never realized how Brea and Rex coded it is!! Especially in their later years going into the Rebels/ROTJ era!! I can also see this as being Rex fantasizing, but one day when the universe is finally at peace and they can well and truly be together they just. Do that. Spend every day together enjoying the fact that they get to be by each other's side.

Not to mention that Rex is a clone, it was always expected that they would die in battle. The very IDEA of growing old at all was not a luxury they could waste precious energy on, let alone with someone you LOVE 🥺🥺🥺 but that's what he gets! He gets to watch his children grow up, he gets to see wrinkles and grey hairs appear on his body, he gets to REST. And I'm sure he never really stops feeling at least some guilt about it, knowing he's older than so many of his brothers ever got the chance to be, but with Brea and his family he can still learn to accept it and be happy...

I think it was always true that Brea would outlive Rex...by a long shot, even. It's not either of their fault. Jedi tend to be pretty long-lived, and he only had half a life to begin with until they finally stopped his rapid-aging gene and he was able to live out the rest of it normally. I feel like this is Rex comforting her nearing the end, letting her know that he has no regrets about any of it and that the only thing he needs is her by his side

[sodrippy]

not to dox myself to a 2 million hectare area but yellowstone national park is INCREDIBLE INCREDIBLE INCREDIBLE INCREDIBLE

[lainpsx]

[autistic-shaiapouf]

Turning up rat wars while I shower and realizing that this probably makes my neighbors think I'm about to kill myself 😭

[angryborzois]

infuriating feelig when your teachers music taste doesnt match yours

[theonlyadawong]

you come to my blog you watch this