#the show is definitely a big influence lol. more than i realised

[queenslayerbee]

I should NOT be this surprised that (re)watching The Sopranos is giving me extra brainworms regarding "Underground Elysium"... ofc Tony Soprano IS one natural influence of Lucretia (how could he not be? he's the blueprint), but as I develop Constanza, Lucretia's mother, and I see Livia Soprano on the show being... the kind of mother that she is... damn, yeah. this should've been more obvious to me xDD

[greyzoneeeeee]

Attractions?

As a teen I assumed I had crushes. There were definitely guys that I thought looked good and were nice, this was in the early friendship stage. I found once they had become a friend and I knew them well, those initial "crush" feelings disappeared. Once I learned more terminology in later years I just assumed they were "squishes".

Romantic attraction took me a while to figure out, especially because these initial feelings disappeared when people became solid friends. I read something along the lines of "If you're wondering what romantic attraction feel like, that's your answer", so at the end of the day I chalked myself up to being "Aromantic".

Haven't found that to have changed so I think it's still applicable. If anything I resonate with it more now. I'm more drained than I used to be so any sort of "squish" is few and far between lol.

I think it's easy to be confused for a long time when you love the romantic comedy genre. I will RELISH in romcom fiction. Spent a decade immersed in shojo anime and manga, kdramas, jdramas, tv/movies/books. I still consume all this. It's exciting, makes me happy, I get so absorbed in their worlds, I will fantasise being in it. But with people in reality, those romantic feelings are just not there.

My eyes really opened a couple of years ago when I discovered the Lesbian MasterDoc and learnt about Compulsory Heterosexuality. Quite a significant portion of that read really resonated with me. I don't think I have any Lesbian-leaning feelings, but I realised very quickly how legitimate compulsory heterosexuality was.

This lead to a new set of hurdles though. Had I had all these squishes on guys(at the time, but their genders aren't all cis men now) because that's what I was "attracted" to? Or was that compulsory heterosexuality?

The first good half of my kpop journey was definitely focused on boy groups. I did listen to girl groups too, but the ratio definitely favoured the guys. I also had a guaranteed bias in the male groups I listened to, whilst I didn't give that same energy to girls. This also applied to outside of Kpop. I definitely had favourite band members or actors and they were guys. At some point close to, but before discovering CompHet, I started liking girl groups more. I didn't necessarily have more biases, but my eyes were far more drawn to the girl groups visuals than the guy groups. At the time I thought that was purely aesthetic and was being influenced by being so immersed in Kpop where fashion is a big component of it.

Through more learning I realised I could feel aesthetic attraction VERY strongly. Sometimes I thought this meant I liked the person more than a friend, or that it meant I might be bi-romantic or homo-romantic. Sometimes I'm still not sure, especially now that in the last year or two I really gravitate towards women more. But any feelings still don't really exist beyond becoming friends. Then I'm also aware that I feel more comfortable doing any sort of physical exploring with a woman than a man, but then there's still something about a man(but maybe that's the CompHet speaking and anyone masc-presenting could be appealing lol).

At the same time as the aesthetic attraction to women grew, the general disdain for men also grew. It's definitely not all men. The men I know are good, but any sour encounter I've ever had and any time I've felt an uncertain/vigilant/unsafe energy from a stranger, it has been cause of a man. So has that unsafe feeling redirected me towards women?

Once I really looked into aesthetic attraction it made me look back on people while growing up. Were those characters in the tv show I liked my favourite JUST because I thought they were cool? Or was this the early version of feeling attraction as an ace kid. Was I just mesmerised because I liked the characters or were they the ace kid aesthetic attraction version of "An awakening" haha.

Currently I'm sitting with "Aromantic with strong aesthetic attraction". It's just that sometimes it's really strong, to the point where I wonder if it's an actual relationship-type attraction. Is this person just amazing to look at or would I be open to physically exploring if they asked me?

Another thing is that all the grief I've gone through over the years has left me...feeling like the outer husk of a human. I do feel lonely but it's not an intimacy lonely. It's a loneliness for losing the past where things were easier and where I was happy and hopeful and less stressed and unbothered by most things.

Sometimes I want "a person", sometimes I'm curious and wonder what physical interactions I'd be okay with if I trusted and felt safe with the person.

Keeping in mind I hate being touched. But sometimes I don't mind reciprocating a hello/goodbye hug, but then sometimes I don't want a person touching me at all(whether there's a reason for that particular person or not), but then there are people where I don't mind touch. Like if our hands brush when walking, or our shoulders touch when we both look at a phone etc. Casual touches like that are sometimes okay. Sometimes once I'm touched, even accidentally, I need that person to move away and stay in my line of sight until my flinching at movement settles down.

Went on a bit of a tangent there :P

[theomnicode]

Blast and his connections with cosmic powers

An important thought popped to my head.

How is Blast and crew going to react to Saitama when he and Garou come back?

Does Blast realise the true source of the divine power that nearly exploded the earth was Saitama? I feel like it's a bit too early to reveal that but who knows. Saitama does not know the source of his insane punches that can level earth, he just knows he could do it cognizantly. He punches something aggressively, it explodes and dies, that's all there is to. Blast would rightfully assume the energy is all Garou, but he can definitely tell something is off with Saitama. He's going to keep an eye on things at minimum.

But Blast and crew have both experience against Avatars of God and means to contain them when reasoning fails. Blast first tried to reason with Garou, then teleported him to different dimension for containment or dealing with him. Ergo, he was confident he could have contained Garou's divine powers on its own, but Garou is a far trickier opponent than that, as he has his own powers too. Martial arts.

Blast can apparently also contain the power of Serious Punch squared, at least momentarily. But Saitama is limitless, so he would be able to overpower any kinds of containments of his power if he puts enough effort.

So what I can gather is that Blast and crew have means to deal with beings of Garou's current level. And contain them efficiently. Maybe even kill or strip them of their powers if reasoning fails because they're the galaxy protection crew, it's their job to protect Earth and other intelligent beings from God's influence and destructive powers.

Blast can also take a beating from these people. Not just from Garou, but other possible avatars of god and beings of that level.

Who in the world is this gigachad who managed to make Space Dad Blast bleed from his leg and face?

After he teleported out 3 people from time distorted place? Now that we know that he can easily duel with Garou.

Either one of god's avatars or god itself. Honestly, the slashing pattern on his suit seems to indicate it's the same thing he fights, over and over again.

Ofc, it could just be the Beast King lookalike teammate of his and they're just sparring, but it would be a weird time to spar with teammates when he got concerned he allowed God to almost come into contact with Tatsu. Maybe time distortion from the cube has something to do with it, so when the teleported out, he got pulled back into real timeline during his sparring session or something and had to immediately leave to save Tatsu. Timey wimey stuff. But I'm going off tangent.

It still begs the question: how will they react to Saitama if they figure out he was a source of Divine power?

Would they become hostile? Would they attempt to contain him? What if they deem Saitama too dangerous because he showed to Blast he was volatile enough with the proper trigger to try and blow up the entire planet? All very possible choices.

So far, the story has painted Saitama as morally good. But accidentally destroying Earth is not a morally sound choice. So the narrative direction that Saitama could prove dangerous to mankind if he so wished is now out there. A fairly intentional and big shift if you ask me.

Instead of a hero to be revered for his virtues... the end result might be a being that has to be feared for his powers. Because he's still human being and imperfect, but humans fear what they do not understand.

Would Blast crew and Sai come to blows? Would they leave Saitama alone because he's still a person? Would Hero association try to use Saitama if they realised the full extent of his powers? I bet they would, they're not below trying to force the c-class to use drugs and body enhancements. Not that they could but they would try lol. Good luck on that. But being treated as a weapon for Hero association would suck.

So Saitama being relatively unknown to people serves another thing: he's left alone and out of machinations of more corrupted people and people who have the moral obligations to deal with beings who have godly powers.

Blast is not stupid nor unempathetic, so he will probably at the end, make the right choices when it concerns Saitama, the humane choices, but we'll probably only see that happen at the end of the series. Saitama is still a hero at his core too.

Saitama also has friends now who would sprung to his defence. Like certain cyborg who unflinchingly supports and defends Saitama even if he does not need a personal guard dog, Genos will do it anyway.

In a worst case scenario, Blast crew versus Saitama crew is an actual possibility.

But we could also throw more curveballs at Saitama and someone actually reveals his own divine powers to him. And casually points out that yea he almost destroyed the earth just fyi.

Someone like...God.

[canmom]

Extremely curious as to your thoughts about the revue starlight show and finale movie

Ah, now there, I am due for a rewatch of RevStar, and I haven't yet seen the finale movie! (I really should have by now it's been out more n half a year lol)

RevStar is interesting because it seems to be the most overt attempt to follow in the footsteps of Kunihiko Ikuhara I've seen. Like Utena, it's drawing on the imagery of the Takarazuka Revue - in fact, literally set in a performing school that's blatantly patterned on Takarazuka, and its thematic thrust is a criticism of its structure. But it's also got got all the highly symbolic compositions and characterisation expressed indirectly through imagery that makes Ikuhara's work such analysis fodder, especially in the big song-duel sequences that happen almost every episode at the turning point of each character arc. (Yeah, just like Utena.)

These character song-fights are definitely the part that grabs my attention most, although I take kVin's point in his writeups that the light-hearted slice-of-lifey school sections are also very well executed, full of charming rhythms and creative camerawork even in minor moments. Just... I'm not super attached to school stories. The quieter moments are obviously necessary to set up the character conflicts that underlie and give meaning to the duels... but I probably wouldn't have watched it if not for that.

Actually one thing I didn't realise is that in RevStar's case, the stage musical came first, performed in 2017, the anime releasing the year after - though this is a case of being one big multimedia project rather than adapting a stage musical to anime which really would be novel. After the success of the anime there were subsequent productions, and I believe this is one of those later ones, featuring the incredible voice of Tomita Maho as Tendou Maya:

In these posts I've spoken a lot as if studios, rather than people, are the main agents that make anime, but of course "a studio is just a building" - it just so happens that a lot of studios have become shorthands for certain creative teams (Shaft and Shinbo, Trigger and Imaishi). I don't know the same background for Kinema Citrus but I get the impression that they're a well run studio (their work just previously on Made in Abyss is also exceptional) - and I've heard they're good about paying their international freelancers decent rates and on time as well which really shouldn't be exceptional but, anime!

But anyway, the thing that immediately stands out to me on RevStar's animation is just how flowing and lively their action animation feels when it's basically all being done on 3s. Big camera moves, running, fast-paced swordfights, all on 3s kind of defies belief, and when I started rewatching RevStar a few months ago, I paused and framed through some of the fights like :O It's the ideal of Mitsuo Iso's 'full limited' deployed on an impressive scale, primarily by the unbelievably talented young Takushi Koide - and 'talented young' seems to be the description of just about the entire team from what I gather from kVin's writeups.

So, the Ikuhara influence is not just based on the obvious resemblance of the Takarazuka theme - director Tomohiko Fukuhara got his first episode director job working on Penguindrum and then became kind of his right-hand man on subsequent projects like Yurikuma Arashi. kVin relates here, in the first of a fantastic series of production notes:

Who is that Furukawa fellow who’d get viewers so excited? If you had asked a few years ago, the answer would have been a fairly impressive action animator. Ever since Penguindrum, though, his name has carried more weight. Before that show, he’d never even drawn a Storyboard, but Kunihiro Ikuhara sensed something in him. Furukawa ended up co-storyboarding the openings and up to 6 episodes in the second half, alongside some other rising stars like Shouko Nakamura, Mitsue Yamazaki, and Katsunori Shibata. (...)

─ Although Ikuhara’s style is of course not a miracle conjured from nothingness – it initially came down to his real-life theatrical inspirations plus endless Osamu Dezaki-isms filtered through Shigeyasu Yamauchi‘s lens and some Junichi Sato comedy – he’s always had this much of an inspiring effect on the youngsters who work under him. And, in modern times, no one has absorbed his precepts better than Furukawa, who’s actually become integral to Ikuhara’s working process. He assisted him on every one of his new projects, from minor stuff like his ending sequences on Kokoro Connect, BROTHERS CONFLICT, and NORN9, to acting as co-series director on Yurikuma Arashi.

So while it's tempting to see it as a cynical attempt to rip off the style of the great auteur Ikuhara, it's more than this - perhaps one day we might speak of an 'Ikuhara school', the way we speak of Yoshinori Kanada.

That said, since the comparison is inevitable, RevStar is definitely much more straightforward than Ikuhara tends to be. The storyline and in-fiction stakes are spelled out a lot more concretely: win the competition and you get a wish, and you can use it for such things as time travel. Because, yeah, there's a mid-season 'this is actually a time loop' reveal, just like Madoka! It's also much less reliant on the device of repeating 'bank' footage and general repetition-based jokes than Ikuhara - yes, there's the sequence where the uniforms are pressed at the beginning of each duel, echoing Utena's famous stair climbing, but that's about it.

Still, like an Ikuhara anime, it places a great deal of weight on shot composition (favouring very striking symmetric shots), symbolic elements, flower language, etc. - here's your inevitable Emily Rand citation. This is most overt in the stage shows, naturally, which take the theatrical setting to introduce all kinds of set elements that relate to the theme and design of each character. There are plenty of other strong visual elements that become recurring motifs of the series as a whole, such as - of course - the mysterious giraffe which oversees the fights and seems to represent the viewer... and to a slightly lesser extent, Tokyo Tower, the Position Zero mark, etc.

Another comparison: while Ikuhara tended to go on very stark, flat compositions that emphasise the unusual architectural setting, Fukuhara and Koide seem to prefer to push a sense of inhabiting a 3D space with their tilted cameras and unusual angles, which apparently was a pretty heavy workload for the layout artists. (Something they take to extremes with the dramatic CG camera moves in the fights themselves).

Speaking of character design, this is probably the show's biggest stumbling. It's very much the dominant moe standard, which is a shame, because as kVin says they could have done fantastic things by really pushing the shōjo manga inspirations visually as well. (To be fair, Ikuhara's post-Utena work has also not pushed the envelope nearly as much on drawing styles either.)

Unfortunately, kVin also reports that this production was in a pretty stressful state for most of the duration, and at one point it was in the air whether it would be finished. It was definitely on the wave of shows hiring international freelancers, something Kinema Citrus has made a habit of (who knows, I'd love to draw animation for them one day), and evidently it did in fact get finished, but it's another unfortunate case of an ambitious show being achieved mostly by straining the animators to their absolute limits. This is perhaps more a case of great ambition than poor showrunning, but I wish we could have an industry where ambitious projects like these could be given the proper time to be realised.

(^ i don't remember this scene, maybe it's from the movie? been a while though lol)

It's interesting, come to think of it, to compare the 'shine' of the girls in the Revue with the 'spiral power' of Gurren Lagann. Both represent ambition and drive, but while Gurren Lagann is a full-throated celebration, RevStar laments that these girls are thrown into a wasteful, destructive competition in which one will eventually overshadow the others, and even condemns the audience that enables it with a literal giraffe-turns-to-camera moment. (Such a 'you, the viewer, are complicit in enjoying the show we made!' is always a tricky line to walk, of course, and I'm not sure if it quite pulls that off, although it's definitely amusing in the moment.)

I find this theme interesting bc, although I could never be a stage performer, it's not like a similar dynamic doesn't exist in my chosen field of endeavour. Everyone wants to be the next Bahi JD or Weilin Zhang, and I no kidding, I definitely do too! My current overly elaborate animation project was started in large part in a sense of like, attempting to prove I have what it takes to compete in the sakuga arena - not really the best place to create from, although it's been interesting to learn the subtleties I hadn't grasped at the outset.

Anyway, that's the preamble out of the way. Am I putting too much effort into these? I'm supposed to be drawing up a commission sheet. ...eh, it's fun though!

haven’t heard of it | absolutely never watching | might watch | currently watching | dropped | hated it | meh | a positive okay | liked it | liked it a lot! | loved it | a favorite

don’t watch period | drop if not interested within 2-3 episodes | give it a go, could be your thing | 5 star recommendation

fav characters: Yeah I can't pretend otherwise, it's Tendou Maya. Something about a really arrogant ambitious girl, it's a hell of a vibe, and very appropriate for the show's themes as the perfect otokoyaku who's the obvious favourite to lead the revue - and thus the foil to Karen who hopes to reshape the hierarchical system. Her song is the one I still listen to occasionally.

There's something to be said for (Ba)Nana, who seems a comedy character at first, turning out to be the one who has won the competition every time and each time wished to relive the year - not because of a self-destructive devotion like Homura, but simply because she can't bear to let go of this group of school friends. That's a funny spin on the concept!

least fav characters: I can't really say I dislike any of these girls. There are sufficiently many that I have trouble remembering all of them lol. Not surprising that there was a gacha spinoff.

fav relationship: ooh, this one's tough - tbh I was not as good at keeping track of characters and relationships on my first watch so I have trouble remembering all the dynamics. Anyway, the love triangle between Karen, Hikari and Mahiru (primarily, the Karen/Hikari side) is the central driving dynamic, although 'childhood promise' is not a trope I find particularly engaging. More interesting is perhaps Maya and Claudine, the initial jealous clash slowly turned into like, supportive but hurting power couple ig. I gotta rewatch it though.

fav moment: ...would it be too obvious to name Pride and Arrogance? ok, how about every time the giraffe says 'I understand'. I've kind of picked that one up - thank you Unicode Consortium for adding a giraffe emoji.

headcanons/theories: ...ok, what exactly is the giraffe getting out of this? it's set up as kind of an Incubator-like figure, tempting the girls with glory and creating this punishing structure that forces them to turn on each other to realise their ambitions, culminating in the wish... but we don't have any daft story about entropy to 'explain' that. Maybe they actually spell that out at some point and I forgot?

unpopular opinion: Honestly what's even the popular opinion about this show? If you're the kind of person who likes this kind of thing, "it's good". if not, it's "revue what?"

how’d you find it: Overall, definitely one of the standout anime of the last few years - a very compelling series which realised grand ambitions with many really inspiring sequences. Not quite as semiotically overwhelming as your Ikuharas, it's a lot more upfront about what it's about, but it delivers that with aplomb.

The places where it's weak are mostly where it doesn't set itself apart from the limitations of late-2010s digital anime - the backgrounds in particular have that, I'm not sure what word, but like very even 'digital painting' feel without a lot of character, and the character designs as mentioned are too conventionally moe for my taste (although I think the outfits for the fight sequences are great) distinguished mostly by hairstyle. But that's a minor complaint.

I can't wait to get around to watching the movie, since I hear that's fantastic. Actually, come to think of it, why don't we do it for Animation Night this week?

random thoughts: RevStar is one of those 'multimedia projects', and I think it's really interesting how musical theatre in Japan seems to be hooked into the other creative industries in a much more significant way. I feel like it would be unthinkable for a TV show or game to be accompanied by a musical over here, but while it's not exactly common in Japan, the fact I can easily think of two examples (this and the YoRHa musical) kinda strikes me as noteworthy. I guess it's somehow connected to the whole idol subculture?

Hope that satisfies, I look forward to watching RevStar again though so I can give a more substantive engagement with its characters, themes etc.

[delyth88]

Loki series first reaction

So, yeah, spoilers.

*sits at her desk to type*

…

…

First things first, there was enough of the Loki I recognised to keep me engaged. I’m very relieved. Sure there were bits where I suddenly found myself fascinated with the set design for a moment, but overall there was enough Loki in there for me. 

Things I liked:

They way they showed the dawning realisation that the TVA was beyond Loki’s ability to beat. It needed to be convincing, and I think they did a good job of it. They showed him attempting to escape, they showed him running out of options. They showed him going from cocky and sure of himself to lost and afraid.  They never did this in Infinity War and that was one of the reason I had trouble accepting that scene. So I’m glad they bothered here. One of the benefits of TV over film I guess.

How disheartened he was to find those infinity stones stashed in the draw like used paperclips. I thought that was really well done. I think that was the moment that sold it to me as someone who knows Loki’s strengths that this might actually be beyond him.  

The scene where he’s alone and watches his future play out.  That they showed him caring for his mother, not just once with his initial reaction, but again, and deeply, when he comes back and plays through his alternate life.

His reaction to seeing his alternate life. I am sooooo glad they didn’t gloss over that or make it light-hearted. Or a joke. I think we as an audience (or at least the fans) needed to see that. I’m glad he didn’t turn away, or turn it off in anger, or otherwise reject it. I can’t fathom what it must be like to see your future, and see it play out LIKE THAT. And realise you’re at risk of death in your current situation and if you can work out how to return to your old timeline that you will die there too, and that this will be enforced.  There is no chance to escape. No chance to change your future. I am haunted by his face.

And then the way in which he says “glorious purpose” afterwards. Ugh! My heart!

I think I enjoyed this scene on a personal level too – it reflects how I felt after seeing Infinity War and Endgame. So sad that all his actions seemed so futile, that after all his suffering and trying so, so hard, that he wasn’t even allowed some time to enjoy life before Thanos caught up with them.

I think they did a really good job of showing us a scenario in which Loki would appear willing to give up his connection with the world of TDW/Ragnarok/Infinity War.  I was worried they’d just give some flimsy reason and for plot purposes Loki would agree, but this was satisfying enough for me.  And I like his growing realisation and grief about having no place to go back to.

Despite my perceptions of Mobius based on the trailer material, I really appreciated how he was sympathetic at that moment.

I’m glad they addressed “but the Avengers were the time criminals” thing head on.  Bit arbitrary, but I guess bringing back half of the population of the universe is probably a good enough reason. Lol

I also kinda liked how they described Loki’s purpose as bringing out the better parts of other people. Assigning him some purpose for the greater good, not just telling him he’s a useless waste of space. It might not be what he wants but he has worth all the same.

How young and hurt and vulnerable he looked sitting on the edge of the room with the tesseract in his hand.

Things I wasn’t so keen on:

So, yeah, there’s a lot of moments that are just a bit too different from the Loki I’m used to for me to be comfortable just yet, but I think as the series goes on I will adapt to it and notice them less and less. For example the cringey trying to do magic moment in the court.  Not a fan. But it did remind me of the similar moment in Ragnarok when Thor mistimes with Mjolnir. So it was kinda helpful to me to be able to recall an instance where they did that joke with an outright hero.

I was disappointed that they seem to not want to mention Thanos or his influence.  There was a perfect moment for him to bring it up, and for a while I thought that might have been what Mobius was angling at. But no. Though if I had to choose between Loki responding to his mother’s death or his time with Thanos then I’m glad they went with Frigga. I guess we can assume that if an Infinity Stone is powerless in the TVA then Loki is now out of Thanos’ reach, so perhaps he felt he could keep that one buried.

I wa a little disappointed that the DB Cooper thing was just a flashback – it was fun, and I enjoyed it, I just would have like to have seen more.  And it means that the line mentioning Heimdall and his brother mean nothing, nor does the bifrost.  I’m wondering now if the little flashes of Asgard are just flashbacks too.  Though the Thor 1 outfit is against a different design of throne than the one actually in Thor 1, and I would assume if they were going for a flashback they would build it to look like the original, but maybe they just wanted to make something “new and fresh”. Ugh.  

That damn graphic death scene! Again!  Will we ever escape this!? Or will every future Loki-related show/article/advertisement include it? Is there some bizarre legal requirement to include it! :p  So yeah, tw, they go there. Again.

And the little speech near the end where he was explaining that he doesn’t like hurting people and it’s all just a cover – that seemed a little too direct and open to me.  But after everything he’s just seen, and realising he’s just lost his entire life, even if he’s still alive, I can accept he might feel he has nothing to lose, that it’s not worth hiding anything anymore.

Other thoughts:

I was interested in the Jetsons-style Multiverse 101 spiel – that there were multiple universes before and that they had been brought down to one. That’s not what I was expecting. That multiple universes were a bad thing. That’s puts a new light on Dr Strange and Multiverse of Madness.

They didn’t show the Your saviour is here! Scene?  Will that come later? Or was that just for the trailers?  They seem to have had quite a few moments that were different than in the trailers.  Nothing big, but they chose different takes to go into the actual episode a few times.

Some of the reviewers had talked about a surprise twist at the end of the first episode.  Ha!  Was anyone actually surprised?

That scene where Loki has the tesseract in his hand in the office and nobody seems at all bothered by the person wandering around in a prisoner’s uniform without a collar in their workspace.  That still seemed odd, and I can see why we thought there must have been something significant about it.  But I guess that’s just showing us the downbeat disinterest of office work!

Interesting that most of the trailer material seems to have been taken from this episode.  I hope that means we get to see a lot more outside the TVA.

 I’m going to be watching this again on Saturday with a friend overseas so I’m sure I’ll have more thoughts after that.  Well actually I’m sure I’ll have more thoughts while I brush my teeth and get ready for bed! Who am I kidding!  :D

So overall, I’m relieved that this will be something I can find enough in to enjoy. I’m liking the scope that we’re seeing so far, and how they seem to be okay with the emotional stuff.  This is definitely not Ragnarok again.

[gayspock]

OK assorted black sails thoughts bc i didnt wanna make a billion individual posts

- first of all i find starz funny bc for real i swear ive never freaking heard of it before, except for torchwood: miracle day which.... literally i never finished but thats a whole ramble for another time (bc despite torchwood being VERY bumpy, i found a lot of value in it, but miracle day was just. give us nothing! to me...help)

- the women on the show are kind of a shame i mean. im not fuming its more of a (dejected sighhhh) lies back do you know what i mean bc its hardly worse than anything else but help... theyre all gorgeous models thus far do you know what i mean. i dont know. i think its just odd sometimes to look at it when the men are all fucking foul looking, mucky type of guys (<3!) and then the girlies are just like hiii<3 like okay LOL. max is rlly pretty tho (as is the lass in the hat- whose name i didnt atch..) so i shant be mad but its also likehelp... even just an OLDER? woman. not even one? sniffy sniffy? okayyy i'll settle

- the gentleman do have some wonderful haircuts i will say. rackham's stoner transmasc that hangs about in unique trousers round the back of spoons.... i mentioned it already but help. your rat tail... and flints pathetic and limp little ponytail. shrimptastic it is.... and johnny silver. (twirls his hair for him)

- INTRO ALSO FUCKS LIKE MAD BTW.

- i love a woman with daddy issues. i cant relate to any of them. not to eleanor, or to shiv or helena or any of the fine women with father problems despite having many of my own. but its very fun to watch them. like girlies (twirls my hair) just give him a slap.... who cares<3

- btw im screaming... john is sooo funny. what a silly little guy. i think hes going to get himself killed he is like a looney tunes character who should have been dead 5 scenes ago but he keeps defying all sense and falling pianos. the very definition of a rapscallion. he is a problem to us all

- whent hey just state their names and theit ships at each other. okay so cute girlies i bet you'd write that in your tinder bios huh<3?

- also i know i keep mocking and also fawning over flints stupid little ponytail but i think he for real deserves long gorgeous beautiful hair. like it would only make sense.

- theres so many guys in here from other things but only a little bit. i know i mentioned billy bones (SO FUNNY STILL) who keeeepsss following me but everyone else is sorta recogniseable. charles was in the 100 ik this. but like hi eeryone hii LOL

- "however what?" "however let me tell you a story. about a spaniard named vazquez." I THINK FLINT LITERALLY SAYS THIS HENEVER ANYHTING AWKWARD HAPPENS TO HIM. I THINK HE LITERALLY DROPS AND SMASHES A PLATE IN IKEA AND THEY COME OVER TO HIM AND HE JUST SAYS LET ME TELL YOU A STORY. I THINK THEY CATCH HIM NICKING 5P BAGS FROM TESCO AND HES LIKE HAVE YOU HEARD ABOUT A GENTLEMAN VAZQUEZ. I THINK, PERHAPS, FLINT WOUL HIT SOMEONE WITH A CAR UNDER THE INFLUENCE. AND SIMPLY SAY THE URCA DE LIMA.............. IT WILL PAY FOR YOUR INSURANCE. GOD.

- also i dont know treausre island that well . do you guys think itd be worth a read at some point. not even wrt the show here just idk ik these guys are those guys <3

- i will say also tho btw. u know that reminds me of. i love it when ppl get rlly mad abt, like, funny re-imaginings of old stories, myth and folklore like this. SORRY. JUST SAYING. i remember of all the issues there were bbc merlin, ppl fucking fuming bc it disgraces arthurian legend. girlie i dont think colin morgan made patheitc little fuck me eyes for 5 seasons for authenticity.

- speaking of. sir percival billy bones is so funny. its like theyre keeping him around just to take the piss of their big strapping guy arent they.

- i also love gates. one like to slap his bald head

- ANNE? IS THAT HER NAME? I WANT HER CREEPY CRAWLY PUSSY SO BADLY. i realise thats her name. i think. shes also like... insanely fucking hot. im like obsessed with her a bit. its the hat. and the voice. i would not give a shit otherwise- i do admit.

- ALSO: THE SEX WORKERS AT THIS PORT ARE LITERALLY THE ONLY PEOPLE WITH ANY FUCKING COMPETENCE.

- I KNOW I KEEP GOINGON ABTO HIS HAIR BUT T. THE VERY DEFINITION OF T BOY SWAG I TBHINK IM ABOUT TO PUKE

- NO WAY NO WAYYYY HE STINKS OF WEED SO BAD

- RIGHT UH- this is one of the issues of just putting uncollected thoughts into a post like this, ehrm. im approaching the scene i was warned about

- i had a feeling.... with vane. i was worried he was going to force himself on eleanor after the warnings- because certainly, his character is portrayed in a particular way thus far, to the point where it was like... well had i not been warned, i wouldnt think it, but yeah. ehrm. i guessed.. him - or at least, he would have sth to do with it, as he has here- but god. i forgot about max and i was just thinking: they wouldnt let her go, surely that makes no sense with how early we are into the show, unless its one of THOSE shows where characters are brought in and out like theres a fucking rotating door, with no rhyme or reason- but no ehrm.. yeah. :(

- and now jesus. eleanor girlie i know he ha slong hair but jesus dont just mount him cmon... cmon!!

- sighhh... ok!! end of ep 3. really sombre way to end but <3 there we go... I'LL drop this now. idk if i'll watch more tonight orrrr wht! :3 love and light

[duchessofostergotlands]

Ooh is Kevin Can F**K Himself good? I didn't realise it was out. I love Annie Murphy.

I messaged you a bit ago thanking you for introducing me to Uncle and I've made my dad watch it and he loved it too so now I trust your tv show taste implicitly 😂

I remember your ask! I love Uncle, I was so upset they took it off U.K. Netflix. It’s such an underrated show. I’m glad your dad enjoyed it. I’m basically an influencer now lol.

I really enjoyed Kevin Can F*** Himself. I loved Annie in Schitt’s Creek so I was interested in her next project. And this was right up my street. I don’t think it’s for everyone but I grew up watching the King of Queens style shows so it’s a reference point I can really understand. Shows like that and the Big Bang Theory, Two and a Half Men, even Friends at times always bugged me. The way they portray the female characters in particular, and the way reality is skewed so that genuinely harmful behaviours are just “jokes.” So the whole premise was exciting, using that sitcom trope as a metaphor for the misogyny women experience, the dismissiveness when women talk about that misogyny, and the way men can be so blind to the privilege they have. One of the main criticisms I have seen is that a great premise can only take you so far and it starts to grate after a while and I get that. Especially U.K. reviewers who only got an advanced view of the first four episodes. I think when they show the sitcom elements without the women being present it feels less impactful. The season definitely dips in the middle because of that. But the last few episodes are genius. It’s funny and clever and the two female lead characters are beautifully written. I do think the show has a shelf life. The main premise only really works because her husband is a character but she wants to kill him (not spoiling anything, it’s in the trailer haha). So if she succeeds, the show kind of has to end. And if she doesn’t succeed it’ll drag on forever and risks becoming what it’s satirising. So I don’t expect more than maybe 3 seasons. But it has legs and the way they left it, I’m very glad it got a season 2.

I think really it’s just always enjoyable to see a show explore female friendships and experiences realistically. I enjoy watching shows where I feel like they’re saying something, that it’s actually adding to a conversation rather than filling time.

[remys-lucky-franc]

I’m Bringing Sexy Back (To Regency England) - Immortal Heart Society

So this happened because I referred to new series IHS’s baddie Lord Montague as ‘Lord Timberlake’ due to the coiffuring similarities and it made @aquagirl1978 LOL and she made me this:

See how alike they look though?! I’m not crazy.

Literally no one in the world wants this fic, and it’s just stupid, but I had a giggle writing it, so 😆 Also, I genuinely know nothing about JT, if any of you are superfans and I’m way off, it’s just a bit of fun, no ill intent or offence meant 💕

Also it’s just in time for all the good old memes... (At the end if anyone needs a ref point)

Word Count ~3500 (yeah, I’ve gone off)

[MORE] [[MORE]]

In the grandiose but soulless marble bathroom of the Boston penthouse, Justin squeezed his eyes tight-shut, splashing his face with frigid water. He inhaled sharply as the moisture hit his skin, opening his eyes and staring intently at the reflection mirrored back at him. It had been quite a night so far. He’d been courted by ‘The Society’ for a couple of months now and on receiving their latest invite, he had finally acquiesced. Over the course of the evening he’d exchanged pleasantries and mingled with a fusion of intriguing individuals - all very different, very separate people, but all who clearly had gotten the memo: convince him to join. Justin suspected before he arrived, from the exclusive address on the invite alone, the sort of members The Society would have on its roster and he wasn’t surprised - even if most of them were no more than masked silhouettes. Initially when he had exited the elevator and caught sight of all those shaded faces, Justin’s heart stuttered: had he inadvertently accepted an invite to some sort of sexy party? How would he explain this one? ‘Hey Honey - funny story...’ But it didn’t take long to deduce that the disguises were all part of the prestige and served as identity protection rather than a conduit to anyone having any real sort of fun.

The mixer itself had been entertaining enough, but the hushed secrets shared in the drawing room were what had piqued his interested and saw him hiding in the restroom searching his own soul for answers. He’d been trading anecdotes with a handful of members before he was interrupter by a well dressed blonde and ushered through a side door, where he was greeted with a firm handshake by one of the top men within the society (apparently), Richard - Something. Initially Justin had smiled but internally rolled his eyes as he considered how these shady types only ever give out their first names - and how that felt particularly unfair when everyone here knew fine well what his surname was... Richard was perfectly charming and charismatic - in the same faux-caring, calculating way politicians are as they try to snare floating voters. His smile was bright and his words were warm, but his eyes were a stark contrast. The Society’s hoi-polloi were obviously deemed to have played their part in warming him up and now Richard was here to give him the hard-sell: and sell he did.

And at first, it sounded relatively normal. At first. Until Richard started with tall tales of how society members held all of the power in the world through power stones. Initially Justin got to his feet and scoffed - weren’t crystals just for spa days and hippies? This had to be a set up. He scanned the room looking for any clue of a hidden camera, Ashton Kutcher’s sneakers showing from behind a curtain perhaps - but nothing. It all sounded truly ridiculous, but as Richard stood, laying a firm hand on Justin’s shoulder, directing him towards a plush chair, pouring him two fingers of whisky, something held him; fascinated him. Stopped him from barging straight out of the room. Justin observed in silence as Richard thumbed through various documents, showing him photographs, pulling up search data online... Explaining. Convincing. Persuading. Justin didn’t trust the suave smarmy suit as far as he could throw him, but the more Richard divulged of the spiderweb of societal involvement in major global events and current affairs, the more sense it made... And in spite of himself, Justin started to succumb to this strange reality. Every word out of Clever Dick’s mouth was revelational, peeling away one layer after another, after another, until Justin’s mind was blown; his brain hurt the same way it did the first time he watched Inception. He couldn’t bend his mind around why Richard was telling him all this, or why a collective more powerful than The Walt Disney Company would want a musician to join their ranks? Richard shrugged coolly as he continued to play for Justin’s buy in, simply smiling and saying that, as a big pop star, it would be quid pro quo - a very mutually beneficial arrangement. The society had access to the best labels, the best A&R departments, they could get Justin as much airplay, fame and publicity as he wanted.

Justin couldn’t deny it sounded appealing - but what did they want in return? So far it was all ‘quid’ and no ‘quo’. He had to ask. Even the easy, practiced grin on Richard’s face couldn’t offset the glint of ice in his dark eyes and menace in his voice that chilled Justin’s blood.

“Justin, come! Everyone knows that music is what shapes the youth of today! The influence wielded by artists, the loyalty inspired by them, their marketability, it’s simply insurmountable! Think about it, dear boy? If The Society control the music, they control the populace.”

Justin cleared his throat as he sized himself up, readjusting his skinny black tie and squaring his shoulders. Richard must be insane. The Society’s logic was fatally flawed: they couldn’t seriously think that it was possible control the entire world’s population through having a singer in their ranks? It was infeasible. Impossible. But what they were offering him in exchange? Now, that was a very attractive proposition indeed. If he agreed to join, and got all of that out of it, it would be worth it? The Society would surely realise at some point that they couldn’t rule the world through the power of song? Yes, the power of a one-line harmony had already been proven by McDonald’s to sell a shit-tonne of burgers - and while it was a pretty convincing argument, selling fast-food to hungry people was one thing - but full-scale global domination?? That was something else entirely. But if he could ride along on their coat-tails and reap all the benefits until they realised just how crazy that idea had been in the first place...

—- two years later —-

Cash carded his hand through his dark hair, exasperated as he listened to Alana’s latest report, “You all understand that Timberlake is completely out of control, yes?”

Emilio grunted flatly as his head fell into his crossed arms on the table like a five year old ready to play heads-down-thumbs-up, “Yeeeeees.”

Cash bristled further as he looked to Rafe and Kiran for their input, both simply nodding back at him as though to say, ‘yes, we know.’

Alana looked down at her phone, worrying her full bottom lip between her teeth, “It’s worse than you think though, Cash.”

He was instantly on his feet staring at her, Rafe and Kiran leaned forward and Emilio raised one weary brow from his slumped pose, concern evident on all their faces.

Kiran was first to speak, “Alana how can it be worse? Richard’s vanished off the face of the earth. Justin’s last billboard count had him go multi-platinum - again, and his lyrics are becoming...”

Rafe offered flatly, “Odd.” He stood, cracked his neck from side to side and headed towards the small stove, absentmindedly filling a saucepan with water and a packet of instant noodles.

Cash shook his head at Rafe then turned back to glower at the rest of the Inner Circle, “Thank you all for the recap. It’s bleak, we know. Alana?”

Green eyes fixed the room as Alana cleared her throat and mouthed, “One hundred and ninety-four.”

Dumbfounded silence filled the room; jaws hung slack. Until Kiran broke the spell, a spluttering cough turning into an uncomfortable laugh, “One hundred and ninety-four what? Because I know you definitely can’t mean stones. We know the exactly location of over fifty percent of them? They’re safe?”

Rafe, back at the table with his ramen by now, paled as Alana shook her head at a loss for words, red curls bouncing around her shoulders, “How is that possible?”

Alana threw her hands in the air, confessing “I honestly don’t know. But he has ones that we knew the location of, and more besides.”

Cash paced the room, clearly agitated as he cursed and barked,

“That’s every stone in existence, except ours and one other.”

Alana puffed out her cheeks before huffing out the breath sharply, “Correct. He has the lot, excepts ours - and the Garnet.”

Emilio’s hand slid under his shirt, a double-check to be sure his Alexandrite remained firmly on the chain hidden beneath the dark fabric, fiddling with it like a child with a comfort blanket as he spoke, “I- I just don’t understand. How? How did he get so many without us knowing?”

Rafe shrugged as he shovelled a spoonful of noodles into his mouth and chewed thoroughly before answering, “Richard’s protege. His pet project. Nothing surprises me when he’s involved. Everything he touches gets tarnished.”

Alana sighed sadly, “Justin seemed like such a sweet guy when he first joined. I really liked him. I thought he could have been part of our Inner Circle someday.”

Rafe shot her a rueful smile before looking down into the noodles, “Same. He changed. Fast.” Coiling his fork in a thick helping, he swung them into his mouth without ceremony.

Cash pinched the bridge of his nose, stopping pacing for long enough to stare and snap at Rafe,

“What is it with you and those blasted ramen noodles??”

Rafe shook his head silently as though to say, ‘I don’t know’: he wasn’t entirely sure why, but every time someone mentioned Timberlake, he couldn’t stop himself from carb-loading. All he wanted a big bowl of ramen in his belly and he couldn’t think about anything else until he was full of noodley-goodness. He’d eaten more instant ramen in the past couple of years than he did during college, and that was saying something.

Kiran cut through the atmosphere between the two men, venturing, “So how are we going to shut him down?”

—-

Richard had been missing for months, and although all trails had gone cold and no one was one hundred percent clear on what had happened to him, there was very strong suspicion within the group of five that Justin had something to do with it. How else had he managed to acquire almost every power stone in existence? He must have dispensed of Richard and taken them for himself - there really didn’t seem, to be any other explanation. The Inner Circle had been aware that Richard was hoarding stones, but his haul had escalated significantly and quickly with Justin by his side - at the Circle’s last count maybe six to eight months ago, Richard only had sixty-five stones in his custody. The dirty duo had been busy.

Emilio shuddered solemnly as he thought about what must have happened to the rightful owners of those stones. He was at the tower with the Inner Circle, minus Cash. Cash would arrive soon, bringing Justin to the table with him. Creating a rouse of support, and then double-crossing him to recover the power stones had been deemed the only feasible plan. Emilio watched the rest of the group: Rafe stirring at a saucepan at the small kitchen set up, Kiran flipping aimlessly though a fashion magazine and Alana tapping at her cellphone. They were all feeling nervous about this, the stakes had never been so high. He scrubbed his brow as he ran through the various scenarios of what could possibly happen with Cash and Justin arrived.

He didn’t have long to wait as the door opened and laughter reverberated around the room. Cash was manoeuvring Timberlake expertly, and Justin seemed to be lapping up everything he said. A round of smiles and handshakes later everyone sat around the table, eyes expectantly on Cash.

“Justin, firstly, thank you for joining the group here today. As you know, with Richard... Let’s say, elsewhere. I’ve been standing in as the ‘interim leader’. And I’ll be frank, Justin, I always thought it would be for me, but it’s not. And it takes a lot for me to admit that. I can do the decision-making, the negotiations, but what I cannot abide is dealing with attitudes and egos all day long.”

Rafe chortled, “He thinks he should be the only one allowed an attitude and an ego!”

Justin grinned and visibly relaxed within the larger group.

Clearing his throat irately, Cash gestured towards Rafe, “Exactly what I’m talking about. Justin, my calling doesn’t lie in leading The Society. I am more interested in having a less ’public facing position’ shall we say, where I can really put my true talents to use. And that’s why I invited you to sit with us today, Justin.’

Timberlake nodded enthusiastically, “ I see.”

Cash stood, wearing a trail in the carpet as he walked back and forth,

“What are your goals, Justin? We understand you must be distraught about Richard’s disappearance, you two seemed close. Do you have aspirations for The Society’s Leadership? We’ve been observing you for some time, and feel that we could all benefit each other within this little group, everyone here wants to progress and wants ‘more’. And we feel like you may have some ideas that could help us all to achieve just that.”

Justin leaned back in his chair observing the group sat around the table. Of course he knew what his goals were. He’d never really considered leadership of The Society until recently - his mind had been consumed with his plan for ultimate pop domination over the past two years. And he’d progressed so far that it was within his grasp - and that was when he and Richard had begun to clash. Badly. Richard’s vision was so- So limited. He couldn’t see Justin’s potential past being a Society tool used to control the public. Justin knew his worth, he was more than a tool for Richard to implement as he saw fit. He felt the anger bubble inside him as he recalled the final fight with Richard. They could have controlled the entire world together: why couldn’t Richard have seen that? Why couldn’t he have got on board with Justin’s plans? As he sized up the twelve eyes watching him, he thought about the dozens of power stones locked securely in the safe in his apartment: these people could see his strength. His power. His star ascending. He leaned forward, his decision made,

“I have acquired many power stones and my plan is, to use our time-travelling abilities to go back in time and wipe other pop stars from existence, so that I am the single biggest pop star in the world today. Then with my influence, The Society will control everything. We, friends, will control the world.”

Alana and Kiran eyeballed each other as the men nodded at Justin.

Kiran interjected,

“There’s no doubt that The Society would benefit from that sort of influence, but what about all of the damage that would be done to culture and humanity without artists?”

Justin looked confused as he stared at her, “But they’d still have me?”

Kiran chewed the statement over before asking, “And who are you going after? Are we talking about Elvis? The Beatles? Frank Sinatra?”

Justin waved a hand as though he’d practiced this very conversation in the mirror a hundred times, “No, no. Only today’s artists. I can’t disrupt anyone who directly or indirectly influenced my career. Butterfly Effect and all.”

The Inner Circle nodded sagely as Justin continued, “And when my plan is complete, who, I ask you, will be the biggest pop star in the world??”

Alana glanced up grimacing, “I don’t know Justin, I mean Lady Gaga is pretty huge? Iconic, even.”

Emilio shook his head, “Right now, Ariana Grande’s the biggest artist in the world, I read it somewhere.”

Justin fixed them both with an affronted stare, “But think about it, if none of them ever existed... Then who would be the biggest pop star in the world?”

Alana and Emilio exchanged a world-weary glance as Justin cackled, “Guess what? It’s gonna be me.”

Rafe scrunched his nose, confused, speaking through a mouthful of ramen, “May? What? Are the Emmy’s not always in September?”

Cash shotshim a withering glance before grinning at Justin, “You’ve thought a lot about his haven’t you?”

Justin, visibly flattered, shrugged off Cash’s praise, “Just a little.”

Cash leaned towards Justin conspiratorially, “So tell us, what more do you need to make your dreams a reality, and how could we, as a group, facilitate that?”

—-

Over the next few weeks the Inner Circle had planned for two consecutive missions. One intricate scheme with Justin, that involved him travelling back over two hundred years to Regency England to secure the Garnet power stone from a Lady Foxworthy. And their own private secondary mission that involved luring Justin back to Regency England where there was no power stone to be found.

When the day to venture back in time arrived, Justin paraded around the tower preening in the mirror at his era-appropriate garb. Kiran had stitched it to perfection, a beautifully embroidered waistcoat over his cravat, fitted cream pants and a midnight blue, velvet long-tailed coat that really made his eyes pop. Rafe let out a low whistle, winking at Justin’s reflection in the mirror, “Looking sharp! Nice work Kiran.” This look was a definitely a step up from double denim!

Kiran moved around Justin turning him, dusting down his shoulders, “Oh hold up, you have a thread. Let me just get that for you. Can’t have you looking less than perfect!” She reached for her scissors and touched the back of his jacket whilst swiftly clipping a tuft of hair from the back of his head.

The corners of Cash’s mouth quirked upwards at her almost imperceptibly as he spoke, “Very elegant, good Sir. You look quite the part.”

Justin gave Cash a delighted twirl to show off his new threads before performing a low, sweeping bow - completely unaware of his missing locks - speaking in a haughty-sounding English accent, “Pleased to make your acquaintance, Mr Tarkhan, I am Lord Timberlake.”

Alana had to swig at a cup of water to stop herself from bursting into peals of laughter, it was like the only English person he’d ever heard speak before was Queen Elizabeth herself! Cash raised an eyebrow in her direction before addressing Justin, “You’re definitely comfortable travelling back alone, because it would only take Alana here a few minutes to change into something suitable and accompany you?”

Justin waved a hand dismissing the suggestion, quite honestly he didn’t want anyone cramping his style. It wasn’t Justin’s first time in Regency England - when he and Richard had travelled there previously he’d had a ball. He had exactly eight hours to get there, get the Garnet, have some fun in a previous era and get back - and then. Then a whole new era would begin. His era... Leader of the most powerful Society in the world and the biggest pop star in history. Justin grinned as he stepped forward, placing his hands around the ornate pocket watch and beginning the arcane chant to begin his voyage through time. The rest of the Inner Circle joined the chant, turning back the clocks within the tower as Justin’s world started to blur at the edges, drifting backwards through two hundred years of history.

After Justin was gone, a series of stealthy grins were exchanged around the group. Emilio breathed a sigh of relief, “We did it.”

Kiran tossed the little velvet bag with Justin’s hair inside to Cash - their insurance policy, should he need to be dealt with ‘more permanently’ at a later date. Today’s plan didn’t involve the singer being turned into a surprised-looking statue, just giving him an extended stay in Regency England instead... The garnet wasn’t there - in fact, there were no stones left there. It was common knowledge within the Inner Circle where the garnet was: firmly on the finger of Richard’s blissfully unaware and estranged daughter - passed down by his long-missing wife. A point that Timberlake was sadly remiss of: they all had banked on Richard never disclosing a topic so sore as his failure as a father out of pure pride and vanity - and they’d been correct...

Now there was nothing more to do than wind all the clocks back to the correct time, then sit and wait until Justin would try to get back.

—-

Seven and three-quarter hours later, the group within the tower saw a blurry portal loom in the corner of the room. Suddenly alert, they listened intently as Justin’s voice crackled through,

“Rafe, Cash, guys! Are you there? Help me! I can’t... I can’t get back! Alana?? The ritual, it’s not working, I’m not fading back through??”

Cash drawled as he examined his fingernails, looking thoroughly bored,

“Ah, so our little ritual worked then. Good to know.”

The passage through time became narrower and narrow as a sickening realisation suckerpunched Justin, panic rising like bile in his throat, “You... You did this on purpose!! You screwed me over!! You bastards!!!!”

As the portal flickered and shrunk to no more than a pinhole, echoes of the roars of their names reverberated around the room, until the gap sealed itself trapping Lord Timberlake in Regency England for ever more. Silence settled over the tower for a few moments, until Rafe glanced up at the rest of the group thorough his sweeping fringe, a smirk slowly stretching from ear to ear as he shrugs,

“Cry me a river...”

[levis-hazelnut]

This is a vent.

You can do what you want with this post but please do read the part from where your name starts in bold and pink.

I have decided it's okay for me to type my thoughts out here In tumblr. Safer than my journal at least lol

So I'm doing okay but I also feel like shit for the past few days lol. To the point where I cried myself to sleep. Ever felt like crying badly but the tears won't come out but you can't even act frustrated? Yeah that too.

I'll be honest. I changed schools so now I have about 3 supportive friends but we haven't interacted much.

My friends from my previous school are really very cool and supportive and it is because of them, I had a thought of exploring me and thinking about my sexuality and everything.

I have a lot of friendship problems. Im kinda losing touch with My friends from the previous school and i saw it coming almost 1 years ago. But I still talk to them bc I like them. I have been betrayed and neglected and taken for granted by loads of people who were my friends. We're still in touch but there is a disconnection.

I really considered them my friends. I trusted them. I was looking for a special bond with them. But it never happened. Half of them betrayed and verbally bullied me. Some of them strayed away. Some were Influenced by other bullies. Some took me for granted.

I'm awkward at voicing out my true feelings. I wanted them to know through my actions how much they meant to me, how I bragged about how nice they were, how I loved it when we went on little adventures and screamed and laughed. But they just had to go away.

My one and only lovely best friend moved away and now we live about 2000 kms apart but we still talk and she supports me (and simple for me lol) and she is kinda like one of the top reasons I'm sane rn. I'm very grateful to have her.She sometimes visits my blog through Google and reads my fics.

I've been having depressive episodes since last year. It's definitely better than last year bc back then, I used to cry in secret like- every single day. Including my birthday. I've actually kinda mastered the art of masking my feelings.

On top of that I have family problems. My dad is not really emotionally present. I hate to say this but my mom kinda victimizes herself. Evertime they have fights, I hear and notice this. It pisses me off but the points they make about themselves make sense. Eventually they make up and they sat down and made me under stand that nothing is gonna happen but it mentally affects me a lot.

Believe me when I say that I love my parents. But I'm growing distant. On top of that there is some toxic advice and they are homophobic oof.

I know there are millions of people with more worse conditions than mine and when I think about this, I get sad and start to invalidate my feelings but with the help of some motivational people, I understand that my problems are valid and I'm allowed to feel sad. At this point I'm like my own supporter. I'm proud of it.

Every time I see jean, I relate to him a lot. Putting a strong front for others but your terrified inside. (Also thighs mm)

So Hazel. Listen to me

When I found out of tumblr and fanfics, I was overjoyed. I spend weeks reading comfort fics by many different authors including yours and it made me feel safe.

I finally decided to make an account and follow people. I mostly interacted with you. There are so many blogs and moots that I follow now, and now I'm not shy or scared to interact with them.

You know why? Because of you.

It is from your blog I first felt like I could feel safe. I never felt weird about going in your inbox more than once. Everytime you responded I felt butterflies. After that when you followed me back, I actually almost cried. Every single time I saw you in my dash, inbox or responding to me, or just interacting with your fellow moots, I felt happy.

And after that I met amber, izzy, and so many cool moots. If we ever met In real love I wouldn't hesitate to give you a big hug and thank you.

Hazel baby when I say I love you, I fucking mean it.

I love you. I love you so much

I love all of my moots, and people who I interact with every day. I found so many supportive people and people from the lgbtq and people who share the same thoughts here.

Thank you for being you.

I hope you never forget how much I admire you. I'm almost tearing up as I write this. All of you guys give me so much motivation to move forward in my life.

himani please the way you had me crying because of this i love you so so so much i cant stress it enough

(imma put a read more cos this got kinda long lol)

im so happy that you found a safe space and you feel comfortable enough to tell me all of this too. you have me on discord as well and i'd always be happy to listen to you if you need to talk or just to simply simp over 2d people lmao

and im so sorry that you've been feeling terrible, it honestly breaks my heart and i wish there was something i could do. i'd hold you and be there to fight everyone for you if i could. if those friends dont keep in touch with you, they'll be missing out and they'd be losing such a precious and amazing person. but once you lose something you always gain something - thats something i've realised so you will find the right people that will stick by you for a very long time ❤❤ i'm so glad you have your best friend there to support you and sticking by you because even when you feel like everything's just going to shit i know they'd be there for you and im happy about that

your feelings are completely valid and im glad you realised that. just know that im always going to be here too to support you and to just be there for you whenever you need it

bye the way you have my heart himani, it makes me so happy that you feel safe here and that you never felt weird about interacting with me. please you give me butterflies all the time, how could i not follow a beautiful person like you. honestly the same goes to you - i love seeing you on my dash and i love seeing you have a great time and interacting with people especially with my moots it makes me so happy i cant describe it 😭

if we ever meet im not letting you leave my side, you're gonna permanently be in my arms

i love you so much more i wish there was a way i could show just how much... im glad you found people you love and those that support you and that give you motivation. and im always going to be here to support you and for anything else you need

thank you for being comfortable enough to talk to me and to share this. you're an amazing person never doubt that 🥺🥰💖

[mr-face-both-ways]

Stex Appreciation Month: CB!

Can’t trust anyone these days, remember I can face both ways!

Ah yes, my url’s namesake, i finally had time to finish and post something lol i’ll post the others soon

Questions answered under the cut! This is extra long because he is my Fave and im Biased 

Fave song: There’s Me hands down, the whole scene including That Was Unfair is just so good in establishing CB’s, Greaseball and Dinah’s characters so well, plus the melody is just*chef’s kiss* and the fact that its technically a villain song?? Love that, plus the parallels of him finding Dinah alone and upset and comforting and supporting her and lending her a hand up and sending her on her way after she’s cheered up, with post race 3 where he’s the reason Rusty’s alone and hurt on the floor, kicking him when he tries to get up (looking at you 1991 boot) and mocks and insults him, leaving him alone with his confidence broken as he leaves laughing. What an absolute bastard!! But when There’s Me is taken out, you don’t properly see his two sides, both the bad and good sides are important to his character! He’s a contrary dude but that’s just him! Plus the actual song has one of my fave melodies of the show, I can and do listen to the intro from the ost on repeat, plus that lil bit in the japan vid?? So cute?? And the contrasting styles to that and Wide Smile?? Amazing, love it

Fave actor: Once again my fave actor list is gonna be like 5 people lol, the great thing about C.B’s material is that his attitude and demeanour can change based on his inflection, movement etc so! Michael Staniforth is a given, his Wide Smile really demonstrates his range which imo not many others have been quite as good, plus what extremely little footage and photos there are of him he was extremely expressive and just fun to watch! I’ll also go with Peter Rees, Andrew Prosser, Hans Johansson, Oliver Rhoe Thornton (and what the heck let’s also go for early Kapa Kitchen and Daniel Ellison)

Fave ship: Ohh boy this is super self indulgent but CBGB honestly (has the fandom given it a nickname? Greaseboose?? idk) I love that in the older scripts him and GB high five (that us boot where cb does a lil jump to hit GB’s high five?? Adorable) and actually talk like friends?? Like Greaseball is a jerk to pretty much everyone and for him to be friendly with him is just sweet. Not to mention its Greaseball who tells his gang that CB’s a “mean machine”, is always calling out to CB in the races and a recent thing that clicked in my brain is that when CB says “what a race, what a team!” and GB’s like “shhh! ohhh you mean me and dinah?” like did he just think that CB was about to out that they were working together during the race to crash the other engines in front of Dinah so he shushed him, then realised he was talking about GB and Dinah?? then just the whole exchange after sabotaging Rusty?? Duet One Rock and Roll? That GB just lifts him up like its nothing then they just kinda sit on eachother?? Those two are in cahoots I tell you!! Plus to me i get the vibe that they’ve been working together for years?? I just love their dynamic haha (and CB’s the only one i think who calls him GB that’s so cute) oh and platonic CB/Dinah is top tier, I feel like Dinah’s a very emotionally honest person so CB would feel like he could actually trust her?? And thanks to the new megamix Canoose/Elektra can have one right, as a treat

Fave thing about him: His independence! All the other characters are very much driven by either winning the races or finding love (or both), and C.B. just...doesn’t care. What you “are” is a big deal in Stex, like the engines, coaches and freight all have their identities shaped by their titles, and that can influence how they feel about the above two subjects “nobody can do it like a steam train”, etc and looking at when C.B. does participate in the races him and his partner tend to take the lead so he is good at racing!! But he chooses not to in order to make his own fun (at the expense of pretty much everyone else). He also seems to have a level of self-awareness, take his verse in Freight for example, he knows that as a brakevan he has to essentially serve the freight train, perceptually at the back of the train. But instead he uses his “purpose” aka his brakes to not do what he’s been told and to disrupt the train, and gets away with it by presenting himself as the innocent helpful brakevan! He’s just doing his own thing, (poor Rusty but,,) good for him!! And of course I have to say again, his two sides, and the ambiguity of it?? Like is he good, bad?? He’s both and neither?? An absolute force of chaos, but it only really works when both sides are present. Plus he a cutie tehe

Random headcanon: I think he’s unnervingly observant, even moreso than Pearl, and has amazing peripheral vision. That and taking notice of things like vibrations on the rails he’s very good at telling whose around before they’ve fully come into vision. He’s always watching everything around him, and isn’t necessarily being creepy, he’s just trying to get as much info on the current situation as possible. I think he likes to have some control and be on top of things?? I also really like the ex-boxcar theory (I first saw this theory on the old bellesdomain forums, rip) and I think that maybe when he was converted it was very difficult for him, having to deal with people, and having the CB radio to control what he hears helps ground him and keep his thoughts less cluttered?? He might’ve also forgotten a lot of his boxcar days, so when he says “you know I’m to blame but you don’t know my name” maybe he doesn’t even remember his original name?? And never got a new one as just the Red Caboose, so he clung onto the CB radio to give himself a sense of identity when his previous identity was stripped from him?? IDK

Unpopular opinion: This wagon can hold so many spicy takes he’s not a murderer lol but at the same time i can see where people can think that considering the lyrics reference several real-life train crashes even if they don’t make sense for CB to be there which tbh I put down to Stilgoe going tehe railway incident reference! I think he’s travelled around a lot and done a lot of questionable things, and maybe he was responsible for those crashes in the stex universe?? or maybe he’s just lying?? he’s definitely responsible for some shit, but considering he crashes 5 (!!!) engines during that one race night and being publicly humiliated after race 4 he doesn’t get in trouble and besides, all those engines are back for light at the end of the tunnel, they’re fine lol. Another thing is that I haaaate how CB has like no agency anymore in the current version like everything he does is for money, he’s basically a henchman for the engines (and everyone knows what his deal is and he isn’t in train jail?? what??) and they got rid of the pre-race 4 bit “just for me, I’m in this just for me” (in that slightly twisted there’s me melody) and Electra desperately pleading “help me caboose, help me caboose” to just the generic “I’ll help you win” at the end and not really its own little bit anymore like he barely has his own motivations anymore, it actually makes me really sad :( it really just doesn’t feel like CB anymore, though his character has been really disjointed since like 2007 when they got rid of there’s me. He’s just kinda bland now, like before he instigated a lot of the conflict, now others tell him to do something and he does it. I could like him more if he had an ounce more depth, like why is he so motivated by money? Maybe go into that old vs new tech theme and bring up that now that there’s new tech that can do the job of a brakevan he’s now antiquated and has to go into crime to get by?? Idk just please give me something, I think CB’s always been a bit of a fan favourite because he had multiple layers to his personality but new boose just has a whole lotta nothing :/ 

Anyway let’s end on a positive note at least we got pride lighting and a solo in the megamix so that’s something I guess XD 

[pinkysfaultorbrainsfault]

pinky and the brain - s1e4: pinky and the fog

hello everyone! the hiatus is still going because i still feel like shit, mr stark, but this episode is weirdly short so i’m doing it anyway while i have some energy. i have a blood test tomorrow! i should be sleeping. i am not. (:

episode summary: brain has listened to too much of The Mist, which in this universe is a radio drama about a superhero, and not an overly depressing book where everyone dies. in turn, brain dubs himself “the fog,” and aims to hypnotise people by having his own radio show where he sticks his fingers in his mouth and does a funny voice.

i love him.

the rundown: it is New York City in 1932.

this time, there is very little introduction to the wonderful world of New York City 1932. there’s no intro or anything. it just cuts straight to mice.

they are listening to the radio. “WHO KNOWS WHAT MADNESS LURKS IN THE HEARTS OF MAN. THE MIST KNOWS.” at least now we know what madness lurks in the mind of peter hastings.

brain does not care. he’s meditating.

pinky, meanwhile, is unimpressed by the quality of radio. produced by rusty mills? he didn’t do a very good job, evidently.

“narf. i still can’t get a picture on this thing, brain.”

lol.

brain sits there and massages his head and pulls a funny face. he tells pinky to be quiet, because he has “almost finished honing” his “razor sharp mental powers”, which i assume means that he has buried himself in a seventy-eighth layer of emotional repression. homeboy is in narnia at this point.

pinky is excited about honing!!

and then he falls off the wheel.

brain does not care for the fate of his cagemate, and goes on to elaborate that

NOW HE HAS THE POWER

by power, he presumably means “funny little hat and cape”. he is now, as he emphatically tells pinky, THE FOG.

“nice fedora, brain”, says pinky, predicting every single person on reddit who thinks, perhaps, that they are brain in a world of pinkys. or possibly a rick sanchez in a world of whoever the other guy is that he doesn’t like. i’m not sure these kinds of people watch TV, for fear of Social Justice Messaging.

anyway brain is not an incel and we should be nice to him.

“but i see you more as a beret type.” see? berets are better! they have no terrible association, unless you’re particularly adverse to the french.

anyway brain offers to demonstrate his Mental Powers.

“ooohhh, i love it when you demonstrate, brain.” yes, pinky, i’m sure you do. he manages to not be gay for long enough to turn off the radio, which is more than most people can say for themselves.

“by altering the frequencies of my voice, i am able to befog men’s minds!”

i guess it doesn’t work on women, apparently. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

“with some electronic gizmo thingy?”

“no! with these.”

okay.

IN A MOMENT YOU WILL NOT BE ABLE TO SEE ME. FOR I AM THE FOG.

as pinky attempts to turn the radio back on, he accidentally trips over their wheel.

you can’t see it very well, but rest assured it is definitely spinning very fast.

air mouse.

nyoom.

“egad brain! it worked! i can’t see you!”

brain is taking a bath.

still, as he ponders how to use his power on “millions of people at once”, pinky excitedly tells him that his trick worked! he’s as good as the guy on the radio!! (:

brain pulls his patented Idea Face. we know he’s just had an idea because he goes all like O:O and it’s cute.

brain will go on the radio! “taking the place of mist, so i can broadcast my genuine mental powers to millions of listeners, befogging their minds until they,”

MAKE ME THEIR LEADER.

so off they go to the radio station.

the radio tower they need to access is, of course, at the tippy-top of this building. brain calls it “yon tower”, for some reason (pretentious git) and casually mentions that soon it will broadcast his befogging message to every household in the world!

“and then, my dream will be realised.”

“you mean--”

“you’ll finally get to dance with the ballets russes?”

“no. the other dream.”

they make it into the radio station eventually, where they meet this bellboy.

we’re bellboys ouo

brain BEFOGS HIS MIND

and asks him very nicely to close the door.

GET IT?? HE’S A DOOR MOUSE. LOL

“open the door.” ):

the bellboy obliges, and, yet again, brain survives something that would kill literally anyone else.

it’s preparation for elmyra. probably.

inside the studio, the orchestra play some music befitting for a woman to freak out about getting kidnapped or whatever.

there she is. YOU’LL NEVER GET AWAY WITH THIS, YOU CRAZED MADMAN.

THE MIST WILL FIND ME.

IF HE DOES. HE’LL FIND YOU IN THESE CHAINS. UAAAAHHAHAHAHAHA.

<jingle jangle.>

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH.

as the Crazed Madman elaborates on his list of tortures (IN THIS DARK CELLAH, DOWN A LONG LOOOONG FLIGHT OF STAIRS) (which sounds like the filming location for funnybones, but go fig. hope lady enjoys the faint sound of meglovania playing in the distance) the mice watch, unimpressed.

brain does whatever that is with his arms, i guess. he’s squaring up.

as he peeps (don’t do it, pluto) pinky confides with a naaaaaaaaarf that he didn’t expect radio to be like this! more like-- okay, he describes it as “a big red squishy ball with little nobules on it” but i think i get what he means. kind of like windows media player visualisers.

i hope none of y’all are too young to get that.

“who are those ridiculous people who just stand there and read?”

“those are actors, pinky.”

“and who are those people that nobody’s paying attention to?”

“those are the writers.”

oof.

that burn concluded, the mice make their way into the vents.

brain flies away with his cape, somehow.

pinky........... also has a go.

rip.

conclusion:

this is a short episode.

as they make their joint landing on the desk of the sound effects guy, 

brain BEFOGS HIS MIIIIIIND

FOR HE IS THE FOG

pinky excitedly interrupts to tell brain that the actual mist has arrived.

hmmmmm.

“the jig is up, crazed madman. for i am the mist.”

“MIIIIIIST. SAAAAAAAVE MEEEEEEE.”

as the mice prepare to make their debut, Crazed Madman informs the mist that he is too late! he is locking his girlfriend in his SECRET DUNGEON

BONK.

YOU FIEND, yells mist.

but the crazed madman isn’t done yet! he’s NAILING THE DOOR SHUT.

narrow escape for pinky. he has gone his whole life with a perfect tail and he’s not about to get it all bendy now, god damn it. he has to be on queer eye in like ten minutes.

brain is less fortunate.

alright well. never mind. oh dear.

AND, because Crazed Madman isn’t done yet. TO MAKE SURE THE POOR LASS CANNOT POSSIBLY ESCAPE.

I’M BUILDING A BRICK WALL IN FRONT OF IT.

ouch.

THEN I’LL THROW THESE DISHES UNTIL I SMASH YOUR HEAD IN, MIST

“haha!” says mist. “you can’t get me!”

“NOT EVEN WITH THIS,”

“ANVIL???????????”

BONK ² .

oof.

“i dare you to do that again!”

“oh no.”

BONK ³ .

“quick, pinky. run for cover!”

it’s a very cute screenshot! so they take cover inside... whatever instrument this is.

i don’t know!! i’m sorry!!!!

good thing the mist TOOK THE PRECAUTION

OF CALLING THE CAVALRY

nyoom.

I HEAR THEM COMING NOW

this is just.... a lot, at this point.

after getting bonked around so much, pinky is just about ready to jump into the bin.

he holds his nose! it’s very cute. brain follows him, pretty much without thinking about it, which is also very cute.

“a bomb!” yells distressed lady, as a bomb evidently becomes plot relevant.

“a bomb?” says the mist.

“a bomb?” says brain.

“sure, here’s one.” says pinky.

hm.

“i rerouted your bomb!” yells mist. “so all you blew up was your own lab!”

“my lab!” yells Crazed Madman.

“my hero!” yells Distressed Lady.

“my head.” says The Fog, shortly before collapsing with exhaustion.

SO ENDS ANOTHER EPISODE OF THE MIST.

meanwhile, back at the lab, a very bandaged brain mourns the loss of his Befogging Powers. his pawsies got all banged up!

never mind. at least they have Experimental Television Project to cheer them up!

brain isn’t into it.

brain: 6 pinky: 7 outside influence: 12

“i think so, brain, but--”

“the rockettes? i mean-- it’s mostly girls, isn’t it?”

[fymagnificentwomcn]

t’s truly something how all princes/sultans in tmck are so pressed…I get their life isn’t easy, but all that blaming & truly how it can affect everyone’s perception. Murad even accused his mother of faking an assassination attempt on her life, incredible *sarcasm of course*. And Atike was just his cheerleader most of the time, ugh. All that blaming by people who even weren’t there. Thanks for writing that piece!

Aww thank you so much! This piece is my magnum opus I guess lol (Link here:https://fymagnificentwomcn.tumblr.com/post/610970504341405696/no-she-isnt-the-whole-evil-k%C3%B6sem-thing-isnt )

Murad’s angry 24/7 & gets so ridiculous with blame-shifting – he would need a good anger management therapy LBR.

And there’s one scene that portrays his character in nutshell:

Doctor: you cannot drink anymore wine, Your Majesty.

Murad, literally 5 minutes later: Yusuf, bring me wine!

Murad in 1 minute, another example:

Kösem: Don’t marry Silahtar to Atike, you also have another sister and if you do it, it will end in tragedy!

Murad: No worriez, I’ve thought about Gevherhan, I will marry her to Kemankeş ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

I mentioned a lot of blame-shifting in my previous posts, but he even at moment began questioning his mum about Gülbahar and whether she truly committed treason (and Gülbahar herself admitted to it).

Even when Atike asked him for permission to take children with her & Kösem to vaqf, he was totally okay with the idea, but later after kidnapping snapped at his mother that it was HER fault for gaving taken his sons there & began threatening her with exile far away. Charming as always.

Honestly, he’s like a broken record. In all his arguments, while Kösem has her logical arguments, his only argument is usually “I’m the only/rightful owner of Ottoman Empire, “I’m the shadow of God on Earth. Like dude do you realise how boring you are???

Don’t forget how mad he got when Kösem wrote to Kemankeş to have a backup plan if Murad died and Bayezid wanted to take the throne, which could have meant danger for other Kösem’s sons. After all, she didn’t take it from nothing, Gülbahar told her about assassination attempt to come & it actually already had happened by the time Murad received the letter. Yes, dude you are not immortal, you could have been killed, and life goes on you know? It doesn’t mean your mother doesn’t love you or is not going to mourn you, but she also needs to take care of your brothers and state ffs. He’s truly obsessed with this idea that after his death life will  (unfortunately in his view) go on – which is also meaningful since Kösem reminded him like two episodes earlier that state was going to remain even with both of them dead. And well we all know the “masterful” idea he conceived just before his death.

And it’s clear how even some of his siblings fear him – Gevherhan was scared immediately following the announcement of Kösem no longer being a regent (especially since he did in a way to put  blame on his mother for recent events to prop himself up, and he was also engaged in state matters at that point). Kasim also immediately fears being locked up in kafes or even executed. Judging by their conversations, despite problems going on, last 10 years were a peaceful time for their family.

As I said, out of all Kösem’s opponents only Handan and Derviş weren’t worse than her, and she was the only main player that never engaged in mass slaughter – Safiye, Halime&Co., Gülbahar&Sinan, Murad, Turhan - all did.

Same with Atike – she was a baby when when her father died, didn’t even spend her early years locked up as Ibrahim…. she’s honestly so blind it’s painful. The scene where she jumps at Kemankeş for trying to talk sense to Ibrahim not to appoint Genie Master as chief judge… please your brother is now acting contrary to Imperial law and it’s asking for further disaster if Cinci increases his influence among ulema by bringing people who pay him into it & it’s good Ibo is controlled in this way… nah, it’s actually necessary. And how you jump from this to your mother I have no idea either. A true performative “activist”, who talks about protecting her brother, but all is limited to talking  & exposing her moral superiority, while it’s not supported by any real actions helping him.

Well, you got your revenge on your mother for killing the husband who despised you, acted against your youngest brothers at that point, and likely was only praying you wouldn’t follow him also into afterlife.

I also forgot to mention one more example of Mu/rat manipulating the narrative – when he tells Atike following the failed dethronement attempt & Kasim’s death that their mother had lied to her and tried to kill him – he was after all put in kafes, he should be aware nobody planned an assassination attempt, bah he KNEW the whole plan from Sinan… and yes, Kösem being so adamant that nothing can happen to Mura/t cost her Kasim in the end.

Atike herself was aware that Mu/rat would have killed her brothers even if the dethronement attempt had not happened as she told him to his face after Kasim’s death and she stated that he had made the decision long ago. Later however she got the letter from Murad informing her who killed Silahtar and she even released Traitor No. 1 Sinan to spite her mum 😂.

I suppose princes at this point led the hardest existence because they were closed in kafes, unable to get decent education&experience or have families (maybe they were allowed to have sex with cariyes, but contraception had to be used or even abortion if the concubine of a sehzade has got pregnant) but at the same time they weren’t certain whether they wouldn’t be killed because the switch to anti-fratricide was pretty new&the times were turbulent. Osman clearly broke Imperial law by getting fetva from military judge to kill Mehmed, and Murad killed the biggest number of Ahmed’s sons obviously (yeah more than in the show because not all princes appeared in MYK, though we don’t know the exact number of Ahmed’s sons, Murad definitely also executed Suleiman, most likely his full brother). I laugh when people go about “rule-breaker” Murad. Wow by getting back to law that has already began to run its course, clap clap.

Murad was king of hypocrisy and it’s also a historical fact. As Halil İnalcık states in his book Ottoman Empire: The Classical Age: “ The tyrannical Murad IV was a habitual drinker and at the same time the most ruthless supporter of the prohibition againt alcohol”. Mu/rat tried to make use of religion in his attempts to drill absolute obedience, but he wasn’t a religious person himself & definitely tried to take from religion what it most suited him, while ignoring other things, e.g. he kept decreasing zakat, aka income tax that goes to charity. A small bit of trivia: apparently he was a big fan of Machiavelli’s The Prince, there were even some rumours that he translated the book himself (we can only imagine he also took from this book what he wanted 🤪 ).

Similarly Turhan manipulated the narrative, also in a hypocritical way – remember her going like: “how many padişahs you killed?” and she was the main force behind Ibo’s death… the moment Ibo told her that she “was a coward who hid behind his mother’s skirts”… it was clear he was doomed. There was explicit anger on Turhan’s side here. Not only because she felt insulted by him, but also because she felt a need to prove both to him and the world that she was capable to be on top without Kösem’s support.  Not to mention all her actions leading to Ibo’s situation, also her ordering Mehmed to sign his dad’s death order was so chilling “I don’t want dad to die”. Well, now let’s play morally pure, especially while murdering elderly (very elderly lbr :p) Haci in again a brutal way, including twisting his neck. It’s not even that she removed a padisah – she actively worked to make him crazier and for his rule to be total failure, it wasn’t even about her, Ibo or Kösem – whole nation suffered because she was impatient to take power into her hands./BTW pity we skipped the time period when they were both Valides and we know both tried to get rid of each other, without harming Mehmed/ And frankly even with Kösem it was a terrible & undeserved backstabbing because also Ibi criticised Turhan for this saying his mother always “loved and protected her, did so much for her” and I doubt Ibo was biased here considering that he was also on bad terms with his mum at that moment.

Later the situation truly calmed down & later princes could live much more peacefully because the practice of killing truly went out of style and also later there were less and less restrictions on princes and they could for example travel abroad with the reigning padişah. For example, Sultan Abdülaziz took princes for a European trip and they even had a chance to meet Queen Victoria.

And I laugh when people blame Kösem for “failing to protect the princes” instead of you know, blame the actual killer. Ahmed truly replenished dynasty, while Murad axed a number of his brothers, at the same time of course used his own propaganda. It is true that Murad executed the favourite of princes, Bayezid, during celebrations following the successful Revan campaign. Similarly, when Kasim was executed someone spread rumours about the prince impregnating a number of concubines & it was before the Baghdad campaign when even setting out on it Murad had to display his “splendour and glory”.

Show-wise I legit one read that Kösem killed Ahmed because she spared Bulbül following Safiye’s attempted coup lmao. It’s not like Ahmed wasn’t there when she made the decision & it’s not like it wasn’t Hümaşah who after all got Yasemin in, and I doubt anyone could oppose an Imperial princess anyway – she would have found another servant. And Bülbül later saved Kösem’s kids, so… scapegoating truly is in some people’s blood lmao.

I love how MYK played with the idea of historical representation & creation of narrative, how people “see” and how different factors might influence their perception & creation of narrative. And also how S2 put into different perspective some stuff from S1. I admit there were some things that back during first watch of MYKS1 made me go WTF? that I later understood when compared/contrasted with MYK S2. It’s clear that they truly planned a lot of the whole show back in S1.

It’s sometimes interesting how narratives may be created and repeated even without evidence supporting it - there is no historical evidence that Kösem took part in Osman’s dethronement, yet it is something that often pops up even in “historical articles” for example. People deduce since Kösem later became Valide quite soon because Mustafa’s (or rather Halime’s) reign didn’t last long, know Şehzade Mustafa’s (Suleiman’s son) story, and some rumours about what Ottoman women did to secure throne for their children, so they see getting rid of one’s stepson to claim throne for one’s child as logical and usual in Ottoman system,  even when there is no proper evidence backing it up. Because it seems natural and logical, so why not make it more spicy? We know next to nothing about Mahfiruz, but there is this “Betty vs Veronica” trope, so suddenly we learn that Mahfiruz was Kösem’s opposite, not politically involved or ambitious, but gentle & sweet, and even details like light hair pop up as opposed to Kösem’s dark hair (sometimes of course it is also extended to good vs. evil). Taken from where, other than fitting a known trope? Or when she’s presented as some sort of Mahidevran vol.2 as having as close relationship with Osman like Mahi did with Mustafa, perfect prince and jealous stepmother Kösem. I know some of the stuff is also derived from Western, orientalist plays, but those are obviously not sources and should not be treated as truth. And sometimes it it even repeated by historians. For example Uluçay, who  was very against Sultanate of Women & pretty much propagated a lot of rumours (and new approach to the period truly changed a lot of how academia writes about these women now). Let us look at this quote:

Taken from: Necdet Sakaoğlu, Famous Ottoman Women.

It’s clear what narrative Uluçay chose for his research.

It’s common practice to sometimes fill in the blanks (and sometimes even change stuff) with known cliches, tropes, and narratives.

It is truly a topic for an extended discussion, so I will stop for now, but when it comes to Ottoman history I do recommend Daniel Piterberg’s Ottoman Tragedy. History and Historography at Play, which shows how the same event may be even differently presented in historical works depending on chosen narrative that is often rooted in current context.

[nodesiretogrowup]

alrighty, let’s recap this bitch!

LAUNCHPAD! I’VE MISSED YOU SO MUCH! PLEASE COME BACK!

I looked up when National S’mores Day is (because I’m a nerd) and it is August 10. So either the photo later was mislabeled or, more likely, Launchpad got the wrong info

Huey with the little baby scouts is TOO CUTE!!

I wonder if Violet’s there. Probably not because she would have been hanging out with Huey if she was. Or this episode was meant to come before Challenge

It’s a baby beagle boy! I wonder if he’s there of his own will or if it is part of some plan

He scared away most of the kids! Now they won’t get to enjoy s’more-y goodness

His s’more sounds DOPE AF, though it probably would give you INSTANT DIABETES

“Aw, not even a modern robot.” MY SWEET SON!

I know it was the bully saying it, but Huey should chill a bit when it comes to doing things EXACTLY and PERFECTLY. It’s just gonna cause stress

 BOYD IS BABY AND I LOVE HIM

“Would you like to be friends?” “Sure. Wow, that was easy.” If only it was always that easy

I don’t know if Huey has the JWG as memorized as he thinks, going by Challenge and Quack Pack

“We’re just kids.” “Definitely!” *uses laser eyes to light fire*

This episode does a good job showing what a trigger word/phrase is like, though I’m not sure if that was the intention

I like that a squirrel with a burnt tail scurries out of one of the trees. It’s the attention to detail that helps elevate this show

Instead of jumping out of the way or hiding Huey jumps straight onto Boyd to try and help him. Huey already sees Boyd as someone worth protecting

The kid that just runs across the screen while his hat is on fire is great

Not sure why they took the time to change before going to Gyro but whatever

BOYD IS ADORABLE AND I LOVE HIM

“I’m more than an intern, I’m a scientist.” I feel like this might be hinting at Fenton’s arc for the season, possibly wanting to be seen more as a scientist than a superhero

I’m gonna pretend that using sunglasses on someone who is shooting lasers out of their eyes is a Cyclops reference. And they look pretty dope too

At least Fenton knows when he is in over his head...this time

Gyro trying to climb up on the table to avoid Boyd was kind of funny. And then him protecting himself with Lil Bulb

“Which one?” Manny is DONE with this shit

“Boyd? What idiot called it that?” Even when he’s not there, Gyro can still burn Mark lol

I figured 2-BO was a reference to something but wasn’t sure what. Apparently it’s a bit of a play on the name of Astro Boy’s in-universe creator’s son. Neat

 Huey stays in between Gyro and Boyd to protect Boyd

Fenton’s face cracks me up. There are NO THOUGHTS in this man’s head lol

“You were an intern like me?” “Nothing like you.” Damn Gyro, why so salty?

I don’t know why Fenton is so surprised that Gyro was an intern. I feel like that’s a pretty standard thing

LOVE IS STORED IN THE BOYD

It make me sad when Gyro mentions how many times Boyd’s core programing was altered. Poor baby doesn’t really get a say in what happens to him

“ROAD TRIP!” Huey, you do these kinds of things ALL THE TIME. I feel like he should be used to this by now

“YOU’RE not going. GIZMODUCK is.” Does Gyro see Fenton and Gizmoduck as separate entities or is this just a no, but yes type of joke?

Huey standing up for Boyd is so sweet. They barely know each other but Huey trusts him

When the episode doesn’t have the theme song you KNOW shit’s ‘bout to go down

I wonder who’s flying the plane. My guess is Launchpad because Della would have been cooing over Huey making a new friend and go into embarrassing mom mode. He probably went of on his own adventure or did tourist things like buying collectables. Or maybe Gyro flew them there. Who knows

As many people have said, the art direction and animation for this episode are BEAUTIFUL. I love the pink tint the lighting has in most of the episode

SAILOR MOON CONFIRMED CANON

I bet Mark Beaks is a Sailor Moon fan

I like that the in-universe Sailor Moon is a bunny because Usagi is Japanese for rabbit

I love that going incognito nowadays means you wear a hat, a hoodie, and sunglasses. Boyd looks good in red (though red is my favorite color so I might be biased)

Gyro-takes one step and the fuzz shows up. NOICE

I like detective lady. She has a cool design

Huey and Fenton are awful at acting casual

“Crimes?” Oh my sweet Hubert. I’m pretty sure most if not all of Scrooge’s employees have had run ins w/ The Law

Gyro is like, move I’m gay

“I’m here on a very important...field trip.” ALL THE KIDS NEED A GYRO FIELD TRIP LIKE HOW THE GAANG GOT ZUKO FIELD TRIPS

Lil Bulb said FUCK THE POLICE

I wonder what it actually says

Fenton just watches as the inspector chases Lil Bulb

Seriously though, Fenton does a bunch of silly stuff in the background and this episode warrants a rewatch SOLELY for him

How did Lil Bulb know where to find them? And how did he shake off the inspector? I want to see his little adventure

FOR SCIENCE!

“Blah!” *arm armor attaches* I want this joke to come back

Fenton and Huey INSTANTLY nerd out. I love them

Fenton being a Gyro fanboy is ADORABLE

“AH, DUST IN MY EYE! The dust of GENIUS!” What a dweeb lol

I like that Fenton keeps the arm on for the whole scene

Poor Boyd, he looks so scared

Huey going into protective big brother mode

Doofus continues to be equal parts hilarious and disturbing

Where are their parents? Like, someone should be looking after these kids! ESPECIALLY DOOFUS!

“Do you need a hug?” I SURE FUCKING DO

Mark is such a prick lol

“NO WAY, A ROBOT BOY! DREAMS DO COME TRUE!” YOU DON’T DESERVE THAT DREAM YOU COCKWAFFLE

SOMEONE HUG THIS CHILD! BECAUSE I CANNOT!

“Seems like the little guy’s had it tough.” MY POOR BABY

Lil Bulb gets SO PISSED he blew a fuse

You really shouldn’t have left them alone, Gyro

Why does Fenton automatically jump to superhero for Boyd? I mean the theme of the episode is letting Boyd choose who he wants to be so of course Fenton would have his own idea of what Boyd should be, but why go straight to superhero? Do you want superbros, Fenton?

Huey already realises this might be a bad idea, because he’s more concerned about Boyd as a person rather than Boyd as a machine

“IN RETROSPECT WE PROBABLY SHOULD HAVE USED THE FIRST HOLE” Fenton, you dumbass genius

Dr. Akita’s setup made me laugh. I DIED when he “enhanced” the image

I recognized the character on the chips though I don’t know their name. I’m more of a western animation fan, so many of the references probably flew pass me

BOOP

I also have a key on my laptop that flies off (it’s the u key)

I LOVE BABY GYRO! It’s so cool they went with his og look (minus the red hair) to show him younger

I LOVE THE OUTLAW COUPLE! SO COOL! SO HOT!

Huey is so DONE with Fenton

I love the stupid G pose he does. PLEASE HAVE HIM DO IT AGAIN. PREFERABLY WHEN DW IS NEARBY

Such a polite boy

“My bones are metal!” This line and Boyd’s catchphrase of “Hi, I’m Boyd/2-BO, a definitely real boy!” reminded me of Olaf. The end of the episode gives Boyd even MORE Olaf parallels

Gizmoduck sliding by those boxes was cool

How did Gizmoduck get himself unstuck from that alley?

I loved the double take the female outlaw does

Huey is TRAUMATIZED

I legit thought Boyd was gonna light the oil on fire the first time I watched and I was like that won’t help

“So, what do we do now?” “I...don’t know.” This is why you don’t leave babies alone to fight criminals

Boyd reminded me of Calculester from Monster Prom when he asked the lady to return the money

STOP LEAVING THE CHILDREN ALONE! THEY ARE BABIES! THEY AREN’T EVEN TEENS!

“Why do we always fight when we’re on vacation?” Because this is Ducktales and there is no such thing as a normal vacation

Lil Bulb just kicking his lil feet

The “lab” safety poster made me chuckle. Then I remembered Akita is also a dog and I laughed more

LITTLE BABY GYRO GRADUATING! My guess is his professor/dean/principal influenced him on a personal level and is partially the reason Boyd is a parrot

Lil Helper blueprints. Nice reference to the og series

Has anyone talked about the poster with the cogs and the dogman in old-timey clothes that says GIZMOS on it? I think it’s a Dr. Who reference

IDEALISTIC GYRO AND BOYD IS TOO CUTE!

How did he NOT notice the second hole in the wall?

That is a surplus of handcuffs. Do you think she uses them for...fun times?

“I’m just a guy! With very bruisable skin!”

Poor misunderstood Gyro inventions

Boyd just politely waves at everyone

Huey is WAY calmer than I would be if I got lost in an unfamiliar city

Boyd says FUCK WORK

 I love Huey stimming. Really hope Disney will let them confirm in words that Huey is autistic

Is it more common for two kids to wonder around by themselves in Tokyo? Because as an American I find it super stressful and would want to find their parents so they could be safer

THE BUNNY! AND THEN THE KITTIES!

Do cats just take buses on their own in Tokyo?

CHERRY BLOSSOM TIME BITCHES

“And I know what you’re thinking, what about ninjas?” I am ALWAYS wondering about ninjas

I like that Huey finally has a friend who shares the same interests and doesn’t mind info dumps

“Boyd, I don’t think you’re a killer robot. You’re just a kid.” “Aw, that’s the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me.” T_T

I CAN SHOW YOU THE WORLD

I like Boyd’s motief

Akita is us after the quarantine

When he complained about being stiff I was like mood

I like his Green Goblin disc thingy

The other people don’t give a shit about Boyd just FLYING DOWN WITH HIS ROCKET FEET!

Gyro shows up *dramatic wind*

His tablet has a duckie on it. I wounder if they have a Mac/PC thing going on with Waddle and what brand the duckie represents

When the adults argue and Boyd gets all sad and scared I FELT THAT

Huey doing his best to keep Boyd calm and defend him SO PURE

OH GOD HELP THIS POOR CHILD!

HUEY IS A GOOD BOY AND A GOOD FRIEND

“Because of you I’ve become an outcast.” I feel like you did that to yourself

ANIME HAIR POOF

ngl, that shit was TERRIFYING

“You don’t have to do what Akita tells you. Do what I tell you.” So close

“INTERN! FIGHT BETTER!”

Huey must weigh NOTHING if Gyro can pick him up

Akita’s tail looks like a cinnamon roll

Huey always finding that hidden info

The gibberish Gyro says is great

BOYD SAYS IT BECAUSE GYRO TOLD HIM THAT!

THAT HUG!!!

HOW DARE AKITA HURT BABY GYRO AND SWEET BABY BOYD?!

PROTECTIVE PAPA GYRO

NEEEEERRRRRRRD FIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT

“You’ll never invent anything worthwhile.” LIL BULB HAS ENTERED THE FIGHT

Are doggos recyclable?

HUUUUUUUUUUUUUGS

Blue eyes=good robot

ANOTHER HUG

Be Only Yourself, Dude

I like that basically Gyro admitted that he was like Fenton if Fenton hadn’t had support

“That’s not technically how doctorites work, BUT I DON’T CARE!” Do you think Gyro doesn’t have his doctorate or do you think he assumed Fenton already had one?

“The hugging is a ‘just for today’ thing.” YOU CANNOT STOP THE HUG TRAIN!

“Leave. Now.”

Are they gonna go to the plane?

This season has been consistently knocking it out of the park! I’m a SLUT for backstory episodes, so I enjoyed this one a lot. I loved seeing Gyro when he had hope and faith in the world. It SUCKS that Akita took that away from him. Hopefully Gyro will see things slightly less cynical now. Fenton was a dweeb the whole episode and I love him for it. Boyd is SO SWEET AND PRECIOUS and in NO WAY deserved the treatment he got. I have a feeling there is more to Boyd’s creation/Dr.Akita that we’ll get later on. Huey was ADORABLE this episode. It’s really sweet to see him hangout with someone who gets him. Everyone deserves to have at least one friend like that. The fight scene was GORGEOUS! SO FLUID! I really loved this one and I hope we get more Team Science episodes because these characters play really well off each other. 

[atopearth]

Shall we Date? Wizardess Heart Part 35 - Florin Arden Route

Ooh Florin seems happy and cute, like a smart guy version of the heroine lol🤣 Light seems like the awkward nice guy type haha. Aww I love how the Nidhogg is like their play buddy now lmao, a cute troublemaker haha. Awww the newborn white dragon is so cuteee! Ooh okay, I like these new guys, especially Albert! He seems to research and take care of rare species and he teases Klaus too😆😆 Light and Florin are White Dragon Knights which seems pretty cool~ it's also interesting to think of Zurvan (Florin's "dragon") as a sort of man-made dragon where it was through experiments and mixing of different species that they were able to "create" it. Shu the baby dragon is the cutest though😆 Anyway, it's kinda mean of the heroine to assume that she can't leave Shu to people like Florin and them because they don't treat dragons well, like all you know is that they fight with them but that doesn't mean they don't treat them well! Like yeah I know they need something to stop her from just handing Shu over, but I think I would feel pretty insulted if someone assumed that about me, especially since Florin and Light seem like people who would care for their partners well.

Honestly though, the heroine really thinks Shu is just a normal "pet" lmao, she wanted to bring it into class with her, thinks that she can take care of it etc, it's crazy lol. Is she going to have a reality check when Shu grows bigger and actually starts being able to breathe fire etc? Anyway, I find it so adorable how Shu really likes Zeus and the other way around too, they're so cute lol. Florin is investigating a phenomenon where humans are turning into magical beasts?! That sounds pretty bizarre and bad... Anyway, it's fascinating to see that Light and Florin fight in a way that disregards defence or basically their lives, and they're pretty nonchalant about the whole thing too. I'm glad the heroine and Florin are both properly talking about their perspectives - hers with wanting Shu to be free, and Florin telling her about giving Shu the "perfect" environment for dragons but hidden to the world. Honestly, I find it weird that it took until he met the heroine to really start thinking about why he does these missions and the impact of it etc since I feel like it's rather hard to believe considering all the people he knows and has encountered over the years, like how could you not think about it AT ALL? Not doing anything about it I can understand because this is your mission or whatever but not thinking about it? That's a different story and pretty unbelievable. Like, I'm sure there are sheltered people like that, but Florin and Light aren't exactly sheltered, they go out for missions all the time, I find it hard to believe they never encountered anything all these years to make them think about their mission in any other way. Anyway, awww I love the idea of introducing Shu to all the familiars/pets, it was pretty hilarious when Florin unreservedly just kissed Caesar so he could see his "cute" form loll. Rembrandt willingly turning into Strange Taffy to play with them was so cute, and I love how Taffy was acting like Shu's big brother lmao.

Florin being disastrous with cooking and cleaning to such a level is scary lol. Anyway, it's kinda awkward to "play" as Florin for a bit as he and Light discuss his feelings for the heroine and how they can't be together blah blah, since I feel like this is a cheap way for them to show the readers that yes, he feels the same way but he can't do that yet because reasons lol. I personally prefer just following the heroine's perspective so that I can assess from that perspective whether the LI is as interesting and lovable from her view lol. Anyway, I still thought it was really sweet when Florin confessed to her, mainly because it was nice of him to tell her that he's never considered death to be something to be sad about or to be scared of until he realised how scary it would be for him to lose her. I think that's a big breakthrough for him so that was nice haha. And whoa, the heroine kissed him?! When was she so bold lmao. Well, I'm not surprised that Light was the one who kidnapped the heroine, since it was surprising for him to have failed in guarding her, and he's never agreed with Florin about her so yeah~ I think it's interesting to say that it's true love when you understand and try your best to stop the person you love from going down the wrong path, like I don't disagree I guess, but at the same time it kinda implies that it's not true love if you don't stop them. Like I understand, and I think that if you love someone you definitely would want to stop them from doing something they'll regret, but there's a limit to everyone's abilities, and just because you feel that way towards someone doesn't mean they feel the same towards you, so sometimes even if you want to stop them to save them, you aren't able to because they either don't feel like they want to be saved or they're too hurt. But I guess when it comes to stories, it's true love if you are able to save them huh? But I just think it's saddening to disregard the people who continue to stay by their side supporting them no matter what, or supporting them but still trying to convince them to choose a different path.

Honestly, I've always liked the heroine's ability to understand and talk to animals, so it's really cool to see it utilised here with the humans turned magical beasts. Needless to say, it was understandably heartbreaking and difficult for the heroine to have to listen to the "monster" ask her to kill him because he can't take this anymore and can't really control himself or know what he's become. I do like and think it was needed for Florin to get hurt because of the heroine for her to solidify her conviction towards destroying these magical beasts to protect the people important to her even if they didn't mean to kill people. I think it was also nice for someone like Florin to understand "love" to a deeper level where it could make him reflexively sacrifice his life for another person because he can't bear to lose her. Considering how easily him and Light accepted death, it was nice to see that change. Anyway, I know it's supposed to be a happy ending but seriously, I can't imagine it really being possible to mutually agree that having Shu the Dragon be watched over in the academy be a good idea lol. Is the academy that big that it can house a dragon? What about the parents thoughts on this? Also, considering they know practically nothing about his species, shouldn't they at least have some sort of knowledgeable animal carer for it? And can the academy even be considered neutral when it seems so influenced by the Ministry? Not to mention the heroine isn't living in the academy forever? Anyway, I know, no one cares so I shouldn't bother caring either, but I just find it rather silly how easily things were resolved with Light threatening the White Dragon Knights and Albert + Florin doing some stuff with the Ministry people lol.

Anyway, Florin proposing to the heroine was really random, like do you have to get married so fast?! Well, I'm amazed they allowed Shu to stay with the heroine considering how rare he is, and he's not even doing anything important here lol, otherwise I guess it's cool that she gets to be a magical creature doctor and it's in her hometown too. The CG of her and Florin though omg!! Her hairstyle changed, what a miracle!! Ooh they're running a retirement home for dragons, that's pretty cool. Anyway, Albert visiting was nice because I like him lol. Still don't know why they love to end their happy endings with something ominous happening in the next route or something, like can't they keep it in the route it's going to be in without ruining another character's happy ending??? Sigh.

Overall, I liked Florin much more than I thought I would. Honestly thought he would be bland and I guess in a sense he kinda is, considering how he didn't really think for himself until he met the heroine, but I found that quite nice. I think going through the missions that they did together really helped them build a sense of trust and bond with each other that I liked because it showed their attitude towards work and life, and I think I liked how honest they were with their different opinions and then later working together to find a resolution for themselves and their dragons. A lot of it went really smoothly and it's a bit happy-go-lucky but I liked that they both got to find a job they enjoyed and they matched well together, and I honestly really liked how the heroine finally utilised her ability to talk to animals properly in the story for once (or since a long time ago haha). I just really feel like their personalities shined nicely together, and Light ruining that in the end was mean lmao.

[rickybowxn]

hey!! ok so i just need someone else’s opinion bc i haven’t seen anyone talking about this and i literally can’t wrap my head around it lol ok so ricky and nini dated for a YEAR and never once said i love you? and if ricky isn’t ready to say it was he going to wait till 2 years? 3? 4? or was he never going to say it? i also don’t understand why he doesn’t understand that he broke her heart :( i love him but he essentially broke up with her after she told him she loved him on their anniversary 😭

hiya! this is such a great line of discussion and so there’s a lot to break down, bear with me this is gonna be a long one :)

let’s start with the thought that ricky doesn’t understand that he broke nini’s heart. i agree and disagree with you on this. i think that as a 16 year old boy, in the heat of the moment after he saw the instagram post and was clearly overwhelmed by it, he definitely didn’t know that he deeply hurt nini when he decided to not say it back and break up with her. he was as impulsive and sudden in action in response to a post/declaration that in his perspective, was impulsive and sudden by nini. he definitely underestimated the consequences and the weight of him not saying it back in respect to nini’s emotions, and thought that there was space to come back from not saying it back (and i’ll get to why he assumed that in a bit). now, fast forward to junior year, i think he’s definitely understood just how much he broke nini’s heart. i think kourtney’s resentment toward ricky in respect to how nini was treated and more importantly, nini’s general irritation/stand offishness and just distaste towards him throughout the first three episodes allowed ricky to understand how hurt she was by it.

now let’s get when ricky was supposed to/will say ‘i love you’. i don’t know about you but i personally believe that every relationship has a pace, and that pace is different for everybody. saying ‘i love you’ simply doesn’t have a timer on it, it could happen in weeks, or months, or years. how fast or how long it takes to say those words neither validates nor weakens the relationship, and that’s what i believe. personally, i’d argue that throwing around ‘i love you’s’ at 14/15/16 is more unusual/immature than a healthy/mature response (and i’ll elaborate on that in a bit as well) in a relationship. with respect to rini/rickini/ricky and nini, it’s more about each character’s motivation and circumstance with respect to their relationship, as well as their relationship as a whole. tackling that first bit, ricky is in a really rough spot in his perception of love atm, it’s been skewed into negativity since his parents’ marriage started falling apart, i’ve mentioned it in another post of mine when i was analysing ep4 - ‘the only concept of love that he grew up with, his parents - he witnessed them be in, and slowly fall out of love. his only understanding of love is that it is temporary and painful’. now parallel that with nini’s perception of love, beautifully explicated by the subtext of kourtney’s (kinda) monologue in ep5 “i don’t get it, what happened to the seventh grade nini who used to belt this song… ever since you discovered boys, you’ve spent way too much time trying to see yourself through their eyes”, we know that they are worlds apart in how they perceive and pace the idea of love, as well as a relationship itself. nini, from what kourtney said, can be deduced to loving the idea of love - having a boyfriend, getting attention and affection etc. she’s a 14/15 year old girl who started a relationship with the first boy she met and seriously had feelings for. it’s even safe to assume that she jumped into saying ‘i love you’ because she thought ricky was ‘the one’ and she must have watched about 3737328473 romcoms and musicals that pushed the agenda and romanticised relationships and being in love (which no doubt influenced her version and understanding, which is still completely valid and integral, of love). it’s really important for us to understand that just like ricky’s understanding of love is twisted, so is nini’s, neither of them have really gotten to knowing the depth of how good and not so good love can be, and how big of a commitment it is, and that’s because of what i talk about next!

the bombshell that has created the entire arc of the ricky and nini relationship is immaturity. immaturity! ricky and nini are teenagers who are still developing skills such as communication, their independent values and beliefs, as well as self-image. these are all fundamental aspects that encourage and foster a healthy environment for a romantic relationship to grow. getting into a relationship so young, at 14/15 and committing to a person is so difficult simply because you don’t have a developed skillset of these things yet, and ricky and nini are a poster example. remember how i said i’d get back to why ricky thought that he could come back from not saying ‘i love you back’ to nini? well we’re here now, it was immaturity. ricky didn’t have the empathy or emotional maturity to understand how it would effect nini, and nini didn’t communicate, (and actually still hasn’t communicated), why not saying ‘i love you’ back hurt her, she’s just been lashing out so far. now the mature thing to have done is to have sat down with ricky and talked through it, asked him and understood his train of thought. she didn’t do that and ricky just walked away without explaining himself. that, is called a lack of communication. and that skill, comes from learning and ageing. yes it was obvious to us as an audience what he’d done was so wrong, but seriously, as a 16 year old coming from a broken home and never having experienced/seen a healthy relationship, i doubt you any of us would be able to fully grasp it if it was happening to us. and that’s why i’d argue that taking a relationship slow, feeling it out and getting into it as older and more mature individuals is more thought-out. your feelings at any age toward another person are valid, especially in the case that they are reciprocated, but that doesn’t mean you will have a functioning relationship. that’s because relationships. are. work. and kids can’t handle the work because they don’t have the skills that match the job description. ‘i love you’ encapsulates that promise - exercising communication, empathy and support, it’s more than just an emotion i think. in this case, i actually think that ricky understands that better than nini does, because as i said in my other post, one of the motivating reasons he didn’t say it back is because his parents didn’t keep their promise - they fell out of developing their skillset and supporting each other. 

now the most important side-note: none of us will ever perfect these skills that make a relationship work, its constant practice in empathy, in communication, in understanding, in esteem and confidence, and in support. i just think that nini and ricky never got to experience even developing those skills independently and that’s why their relationship fell apart in the way it did. this break has already matured them, ep5 showed nini gaining genuine confidence in herself and ep4 showed ricking communicating to nini how he felt about everything going on at home. them independently going about their lives and growing is already inevitably readying them for being in a relationship and committing to them the right way, when they’re ready for it! i’m so excited to see it

finally, as for when ricky will say/was planning to say ‘i love you’ - i think the writers are taking us on that journey right now! the break ricky and nini have been going through is perfectly setting them up for that mutual and satisfying understanding of the love they have for one and other. i personally think that ricky has loved nini from the get-go, his fear of externalising those emotions is that he’ll have the same outcome as his parents, his insecurities right now don’t allow him to believe that he can have, or even deserves, more than his parents’ fate. hopefully gets out of his rut with talking about how he genuinely feels about nini and how he’s ready for that relationship soon. nini is already getting better at being more sure of herself and what she wants, i think she’ll soon realise how ricky is different to her, and how that doesn’t take away from his legitimate and very strong feelings that are ever-present for her.

what ricky did sucked and he was undoubtably a douche. but that was the exposition to his, and ricky and nini’s story, it only gets better from here! it already has xx

(i’m so so sorry it’s this long, you just really got my analysis flowing lmao, hopefully this wasn’t just a mumble and was kind of an insight. i have so much to say but my brain feels like ramen rn)

[hyannah]

Anon Archives vol. 4 (right?)

full res: x I miss him too. He was the first of the cast I ever designed and without him, there would simply be no TBoA. Rest assured there will be no shortage of him in the comic :) I understand that the concept of Wolfe with facial hair will be like marmite for most of you, but it’s probably something that you should prepare for regardless! Wolfe no longer has use of his hands due to extensive nerve damage and he has to get imaginative with ways to keep his grip on things - but some tools, like razors - are simply impossible for him to use anymore due to his tremors. Before the gang comes together he will be looking quite worse for wear. 

full res: x She calls him “Marty” :) Her mother called him that so it makes him happy. He’s not her father but he loves her as one would. He was the one who delivered her as a baby, though during the process there were complications. She broke her leg on the way out and though Martin was able to treat her, it caused her to walk with a slight limp growing up. Teaching her to dance wasn't just Martin's idea of physiotherapy but his way of showing her how dearly he cared for her. Music and dance are our good doctor's love languages, you see. He will have Twinkletoes refer to him as “Sir” when he reprimands her, but due to some of Martin’s own issues growing up, he hates disciplining children. If he absolutely must, it’s firm but merciful, and under no circumstances would he ever raise his hand to them.

full res: x Michael Graves is one of three of Ashwick’s Senior Wardens, the other being Hunter Gerhardt and an as of now unannounced third. Wardens are the town’s law enforcers who work directly under the church’s orders. Neither entirely police nor militia, they’re a bit of both. Wardens patrol the streets at night and make sure no one is out after Curfew. Wardens are simultaneously feared and revered amongst the deeply religious townsfolk who view them as God-sent, but no one strikes pure terror into their hearts quite like Graves. While Hunter is known for being terrifying but sometimes merciful, Graves holds no such reputation. If gunshots are heard in the night or blood stains the cobblestones in the morning, townfolk know to keep their mouths shut and heads down.

Thank you so much! I still have some demons to battle but I want to get better, and your support means the world.

Thank you! I kinda wanna die when I look at that piece. Damian deserved better than my art in that funky phase and I will capture his true beauty one day.

LOL Bloodborne has been a huuuuge visual influence on me over the last few years. Expect to see some similarities I'm sure.

Thank you ;.; I used Paint Tool Sai religiously but I've unfortunately fallen out of love with it in the last year in favour of Clip Studio Paint. I would highly recommend CSP and since it comes with a one-month free trial you'd be missing out not to give it a go. I occasionally use Photoshop for some final touches but not enough to say it's worth paying that silly subscription fee for. Lately, I've been using Procreate on my iPad. It was one hell of an investment (😔💸) but it was worth it - the iPad feels great to draw on.

Thank you! Yes, definitely expect that. There are a few timeskips in canon and I have outfit changes planned.

Wolfe can sometimes be seen circling a bed or chair a few times before sitting/lying down not unlike a dog would. Rose cannot - and I truly mean this - fathom numbers. To say she is bad at math would be a terrible understatement. Martin needs a few shots of whiskey a day to keep him going but he never seems inebriated so it’s impossible to tell (unless you’re Hunter). Hunter is so tall that churches are the only buildings he doesn’t have to duck to get in to and he Riker Sits everywhere. Gloria is a little superstitious, and Graves is a cigarette smoker. Twinkletoes likes pigeons.

I would certainly recommend it! If drawing inspires you, give it a shot! Though whether or not I recommend going to school for it is a more complicated question. The good thing about pursuing a career in art is that at the end of the day your work ethic and portfolio are your best friends. Having degrees and connections will help in the industry for sure (and why I DO recommend art courses for people who have the money and want to experience student life), but if you're a poor kid that can't shell out the dough for art school or if you studied a different field, or if college didn't/isn't working out for you, it's not the end of the road. You can build your career on your own terms if you're driven enough.

Hm, let's see. I think Wolfe and Gloria would appreciate some sweet treats! Hunter rarely eats anything that isn't meat, and Rose has lived on the road most of her life so campfire food is what she's used to. She's the kind of person you'd see eat something horrifying like uncooked beans straight from the tin. Gloria appreciates her guilty pleasures and Wolfe recalls her sharing taffy with him as a little boy. But those memories are hazy now, and he's long since forgotten the taste.

Oh jeez, that would mean the world to me! As for the dialogue, it’s probably a bit of both honestly haha.

Hunter: 43, Wolfe: 23, Gloria: 41, Martin: 45, Rose: 19, Graves: 38. Some of you may recall Hunter being younger but I had to make a few timeline adjustments. Otherwise, everyone has remained the same.

Oh, well, it just might be! Wolfe is used to carrying the frail and sickly through the Charnels, but human touch in that regard is alien to him.

You're right about one thing, Ashwick is certainly in the title! I'm pretty close to revealing it so hopefully you won't be stumped for too long. I can reveal however, if I haven't already (and I think I may have, I haven't read the previous Anon Archives in years), that TBoA was going to be called Memento Mori.

He raises an amused brow at your sentiment but if you're under 35 you're all toddlers and babies to him. Plus he can't go 5 minutes without thinking about his wife so it's safe to say he’s settled down.

Haha, yeah! All of the above. Though it goes both ways. Hunter’s antics drive the poor man up the wall for sure but Hunter will be the first to tell you that doc is a force of nature too when he’s got to be. They’ve known each other for decades. They’ve taken bullets and bruises and stabs wounds for one another. Martin makes sure Hunter doesn’t get himself killed (at least he did before Malignancy took that off the table) and Hunter makes sure Martin doesn’t work himself to death. Gloria just wonders why they both have to be so damn dramatic.

1. Rose's candles simulate artificial sunlight and can temporarily vanquish Spectres from the area at night until the wick runs out. These are especially useful to the common folk who may be suffering from seeing their dead loved ones night after night. Her special coloured candles are different, though. They block a Malignant from being able to possess their Host's body and thus allow the Host to keep control of themselves when night falls. You'll learn more about the ins-and-outs of this mechanic in the comic.

2. I can't share that! You'll just have to wait and find out. Though it is a wonder how someone as formidable and self-disciplined as Hunter could fall prey to a Malignant's manipulation … I suppose even men like Father Gerhardt have been vulnerable at one point in their lives, huh?

It’s private, sorry :( It was a kind gesture from a fan who wanted to show their appreciation but it quickly got a little out of hand and very inappropriate. I’m good friends now with the few who did join so it’s not so bad and we have a good laugh, but it’s given me a small taste of “Fandom” on a grander scale and it was enough for me to realise it makes me pretty uncomfortable to be in the middle of it. I love being able to communicate with you all but I don’t love being in awkward situations so much. I might try again in the future, we’ll see.

Malignancy is unpredictable and what happens to one Host won't necessarily happen to the other!

ohohohoh who knowsssssss ;D

Nope, she’s Hunter’s danger noodle gal.

Yes, I love them!!!! I recall checking them out after you sent this message quite some time ago. I had heard a few of their songs before but I've been listening to them regularly ever since. I appreciate the recommendation since music is a really big thing for me.

Oh thank you very much! They're my own characters yes :) I first created them when I was 16 for a college project. One day I would like to share that with you all because it's come a long way. The comic is in development. Thank you all for your questions, I think that’s most of them. If you don’t see your ask in here it’s because it was asked already, I got a similar question and took a screenshot of that instead, it was too inappropriate, I can’t reveal the information yet, or I simply didn’t see it. As always if you’re looking for more prompt responses please message me off anon so I can reply privately since I respond to most anons in bulk!