#the show has given us so little information about Steve that it’s hard

[steddieas-shegoes]

hidden lace

for @steddiesmuttyseptember prompts 'sneaking around' and 'lingerie'

rated e | 18+, minors dni or i will tell your mother | 2852 words | check ao3 for all tags

💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗

Steve is pissed at Eddie.

Like, genuinely pissed.

Not that cute, haha my boyfriend was being annoying but I love him, pissed.

The kind where if he saw him right now, he’d do something really stupid, like yell or break up with him.

And he knew he didn’t actually want to do that.

But see, Steve had been given incorrect information about what they would be doing tonight. He’d been told they’d be having dinner alone and then going to the quarry alone and probably going back to Steve’s house alone.

When they showed up at the diner to a table full of Eddie’s bandmates, Steve’s teeth gritted together to hold back saying something much more rude than he intended.

It was fine, though, because Steve did actually like hanging out with the guys despite their rough start. They were some of the few people who knew about Steve and Eddie’s relationship, so they didn’t feel like they had to hide anything.

Well, Steve did tonight.

He was wearing his usual clothes, of course, but underneath, he was wearing a lingerie set. Something Eddie had been begging him to wear for months now, something Steve had tried on at least 20 times before only to hurry out of them because it felt too good. He figured with how much they’d be alone tonight, he could get used to the feeling of the lace against his skin at dinner and then surprise Eddie with it when they got to the quarry.

It’s all he’s thought about since Eddie picked him up.

He’s certain it’s written all over his face throughout dinner. Gareth keeps shooting him these looks like he knows Steve’s hiding something, and Jeff has asked him if he’s okay at least three times since they sat down. Frankie doesn’t say anything, but he does hand Steve a joint when no one else is looking and tells him to relax a little.

If Steve was smart, he probably would have snuck a few hits from it before Eddie got in the van.

“That was fun,” Eddie said as Steve contemplated trying to run back inside to the bathroom so he could strip the lace off and shove it into his pockets.

“Uh huh.”

“Sorry I didn’t tell you they’d be joining us, sweetheart.”

Steve gives him a half-hearted smile. “That’s okay. Um, are we seeing anyone else tonight?”

“Oh! There’s a bunch of people hanging at the quarry. I think even Robin’s gonna be there.”

Steve nods a little too enthusiastically to be convincing. “Cool. Sounds good.”

Eddie’s eyes are on him, intense. “You don’t sound happy about it. Thought you’d be a little more excited about hanging with Robin. You just told me yesterday you haven’t gotten to spend time with her outside of work for weeks.”

“No, you’re right,” Steve sighs. “I just wasn’t expecting to be…social.”

“We planned a date?” Eddie sounds genuinely confused, as if he doesn’t know the difference between hanging out one on one and in groups.

“Yeah, I just.” Steve sighs again. “It’s fine. Let’s go hang out with people.”

Eddie looks like he wants to push and understand why Steve is suddenly so worried about being around people, but Steve leans in to kiss him quickly, just a soft peck on the lips. He smiles and Eddie smiles back.

Instant distraction.

Eddie has admitted before that Steve has a way of making him go completely dumb. Some would call it dick brain, but it’s not even that he gets hard about it. He just feels like all thoughts have left the building.

Like Elvis, man,, he’d said when Robin asked what his deal was after Steve had kissed him goodbye at work.

As Eddie drives them to the quarry, Steve shifts in his seat. He’s not uncomfortable, but he definitely worries that he will be when all eyes are on him. Maybe they won’t know that he’s nearly bursting out of blush pink panties and a matching bralette that rubs against his nipples in a way that feels like Eddie’s teeth when they’re teasing him. But maybe they will.

But are his nerves because he’s worried people will know?

He can feel his dick hardening against the damp lace.

No, he doesn’t think he’s all that worried about people seeing him in lingerie.

Eddie’s door slamming is the only thing that alerts him to their arrival. He blinks and opens his door so he can hop out, but he’s immediately frozen when he feels the head of his dick rubbing against his jeans.

So maybe next time he can buy a size up. Or find some made for men. Do they make them for men?

“Stevie?” Eddie’s voice is against his ear, sending chills down his spine as his hand ghosts between his shirt and waistband. “You sure you don’t wanna go home?”

“I’m sure,” Steve shivers.

“We won’t stay for long,” he promises.

Steve just nods.

He does what he’s supposed to at these things: makes smalltalk with people he doesn’t know that well, hangs around Eddie and Robin as much as possible, smiles and laughs when appropriate.

But his brain is gone.

Well, it’s there, but it’s made of lace and the sweat beading at his brow despite the fall chill.

He doesn’t know how long they’ve been here, but he thinks he’s gonna have to go soon.

Eddie’s fingers grasp his forearm.

“Steve.”

Steve looks at him.

Eddie knows.

His face is flush and his pupils are huge, looks like he would bite a bruise into Steve’s neck right now, in front of all these people.

“Van. Now.”

The van is surrounded by cars. Empty cars, but still cars that belong to people.

Steve should probably just explain what’s going on, and then maybe they could just go back to Steve’s house and never bring this up ever again.

But he doesn’t. He knows they’re about to fuck in Eddie’s van, and he knows everyone at this gathering is busy, and he thinks maybe this will be the night that someone finds out exactly what Steve and Eddie are to each other.

Eddie doesn’t let go of his arm as they walk, which puts them both at a strange angle. No one seems to notice, but Steve’s not sure he’d be aware of anyone looking their way at this point. His brain is fuzzy, and all he can think about is Eddie stripping him down to the lace barely covering him in the back of his van.

No one is near the cars when Eddie opens the backdoor of his van and gently nudges Steve inside. No one is there to see the way Eddie watches him fall face first on the blanket he keeps laid out, barely holding back a groan at the way Steve’s ass is up in the air, taunting him even while fully clothed. No one except Steve feels his heartbeat racing as Eddie closes the door and grips his calf.

“You’ve been on edge all night. I was starting to worry you were sick or I’d pissed you off, but it’s not either of those things, is it?” Eddie leans over Steve’s back, bracketing him in until he has no choice but to fall flat against the blanket. “You wanna be fucked.”

Steve whines.

“But why? You knew we’d go to your house later. You knew I’d take care of you. So why are you acting like this?” Eddie continues, breath hot against Steve’s neck.

His hand ghosts under Steve’s shirt, fingers trailing against his skin and leaving goosebumps along the way.

Steve’s breath catches when he feels Eddie’s touch pause against the line of lace across his back.

“Stevie. What’s this?” Eddie sounds much calmer than he probably is.

“It’s a…bra. It’s a bra.”

Eddie’s forehead falls to Steve’s shoulder blade, and he lets out a huff. It may be a laugh or it may be a sigh, or it may be anything else.

“I don’t know what the hell I did to deserve you, sweetheart.”

His lips are soft against Steve’s neck.

Steve melts further into the blanket, but can’t completely relax until Eddie’s seen– or felt– everything.

“Um, there’s more,” he says as he starts to turn over so he can face Eddie. “And it might be a little weird and it might not even look good anymore because I’ve been hard for most of the night, but-”

Eddie silences him with a kiss to his lips, the taste of the last cigarette he smoked still on his tongue.

He keeps kissing him, even when Steve moans and bucks his hips up, seeking friction that’s easily found. His hand traces the waistband of Steve’s jeans, a fingertip dipping just past the denim to find what Steve’s been hiding.

“Oh.”

Steve smiles nervously. He knows Eddie would never make him feel bad, even if he didn’t happen to like the lingerie, but he’s still nervous. He still wants Eddie to like it, to like the way he fills them out, to like him.

“Can I see?” Eddie asks, eyes wide with awe and cheeks blushing the same pink as Steve’s panties.

Steve nods because he doesn’t think he’ll sound confident if he says anything out loud.

Eddie slides his pants off quickly, but his hands are gentle, almost reverent in the way they glide across Steve’s thighs.

He doesn’t say anything, just gestures for Steve to sit up so he can pull off his shirt.

When Steve’s been stripped down to only pink lace, he’s warm and anxious.

Eddie’s eyes don’t know where to go, zipping from his nipples barely visible through the thick floral pattern covering them down to the see-through wetness of his cock leaking through the thin material. Steve waits for him to say something, can’t interrupt whatever thoughts he’s having right now.

“You look beautiful, Stevie.”

It settles something in him, some last nerves that he knew wouldn’t go away without Eddie’s confirmation that this wasn’t a waste of time or money.

“I do?”

Eddie’s palm cups his cock through the panties. “You’re the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. When did you get these?”

Steve shrugs because he doesn’t really remember anymore, and even if he did, it’s not important. What matters is that Eddie fucks him while he wears them, and that he goes to buy more on his next trip into the city.

It’s softer than Steve expected.

Eddie’s taking it slow, touching him everywhere, letting his fingers trace the patterns of the lace and smiling when Steve shivers under his attention. He seems mesmerized and Steve feels adored, loved.

Usually, Steve prefers feeling Eddie’s skin against his, but the way his clothed cock brushes against the lace panties, and the way his chest rubs against the bra, it’s a constant reminder that Steve did this to feel nice and for Eddie to look at him.

“Fuck me,” Steve whispers against his lips when he feels his stomach tighten. “Please fuck me.”

“Here? You sure you don’t want me to just suck you off?”

Steve thinks about the people crowded near the coolers and picnic tables not too far away.

“Yeah, here. I need you.”

He knows Eddie can’t resist that.

Now, Eddie’s quick, but no less gentle, as he opens Steve up on his fingers. The lube he keeps in the van is finally getting some use.

Steve arches into it, sighing out the pleasure Eddie gives, keeping as quiet as possible in case someone decides to come back to their car before they finish.

He’s got panties pushed to the side, his precum dribbling onto his stomach, and Eddie’s raspy voice in his ear telling him everything he’s gonna do to him when they’re home. Steve can get off with just this, has gotten off to this before.

“You ready?” Eddie finally asks him, pulling his fingers out so he can wipe them off and get his own pants pulled down.

“Been ready. Could’ve fucked me ten minutes ago,” Steve replies with a smirk.

His head is fuzzy, but the knowledge that they could be caught keeps him present, keeps him aware of everything happening in a way he knows he wouldn’t be if they were in the privacy of his room.

“I don’t like your tone,” Eddie jokes as he lines himself up, pushing the lace further out of the way. “I don’t wanna hurt you. You’re too soft for that tonight.”

“Someone’s feeling sappy,” Steve gasps as Eddie enters him slowly. He lifts his head to watch as Eddie bottoms out, his cock rubbing against the side of the panties. “Fuck.”

“That’s what I’m trying to do.” Eddie groans. “You feel so good. You look so good. I wanna eat you out when we get home.”

Steve nods as his hands grip the blankets. “Yeah. I have a-” Steve whines as Eddie shifts slightly, changing the angle so he brushes against Steve’s prostate. “I have a plug.”

“How the hell did you sneak that in here?”

“Yesterday when you were in the shower,” Steve laughs breathlessly. “Fuck, Eds. So good.”

Eddie is focused now, on not coming or coming, Steve can’t be sure.

“God, you have to wear these all the time,” Eddie groans as his hand creeps up to his chest, thumb rubbing against one of Steve’s nipples. “I want you in every color. Wanna see you in red, and blue, and black, and fuckin’-- what other colors are there?”

Steve giggles. “Purple…yellow…fuck.”

Steve’s gonna come and Eddie’s gonna follow right behind him, he can tell. Eddie’s thrusts are erratic but accurate, always hitting the spot that makes black spots appear in the corner of Steve’s vision and his limbs tingle with warmth and sunshine.

“You’re so good to me, fuck, Stevie. I love you,” Eddie squeezes his thigh as he parts his legs further. “You’re mine.”

“Yours. Yours,” Steve’s head falls back as he shakes through one of the most intense orgasms he’s ever had. He can’t catch his breath, and he feels overstimulated within seconds. “Eddie, need you.”

Eddie always gives him what he needs.

They’re both coming down still when someone bangs on the back door of the van. Steve sits up so quickly, he almost breaks Eddie’s nose.

“Yeah!” Steve yells, pushing Eddie off of him, barely containing a whimper when his cock is no longer filling him.

“If you two wanna get dressed before people start heading to their cars, now would be a good time!” Robin whisper-yells against the door.

“Got it!” Steve yells back, already trying to slide his pants back on despite the mess on his stomach and dripping from his hole.

Eddie places his hands on Steve’s, making him pause for a moment.

“Did you do this for me or for you?” He asks, suddenly shy.

Steve couldn’t help feeling a little proud of the fact that he was maybe the only person Eddie Munson ever got shy around.

“I did it for both of us. And I promise I’ll do it again if you let me get dressed so we don’t get caught.”

Eddie beams at him, kisses his cheek, and starts to pull his own pants back up, wincing when his boxers cling to his sensitive and wet dick.

“We’ve gotta plan better for these things,” he complains.

“I planned just fine.”

“The plug!” Eddie’s eyes widen in panic. “Where is it?”

“We don’t have time,” Steve groans, but he looks over his shoulder at the bag he keeps behind the passenger seat. It’s mostly full of snacks and Tylenol, sometimes a change of clothes if he knows he’s staying with Eddie. Last night he managed to get a plug in there. “Okay! Okay, fine. Just, go start the car.”

Eddie claps his hands together excitedly and grins. “As you wish, my liege.”

Steve rolls his eyes fondly. He reaches down to ease the plug in, biting back a whimper at the soreness he feels. They weren’t even rough tonight, couldn’t be, yet Steve feels like they just went for three rounds.

“If it hurts, don’t do it, sweetheart,” Eddie says from the driver’s seat.

“No, it’s good. I’m good,” he says as he pulls his pants up and slips his shirt on.

Eddie glances over his shoulder and frowns.

“Why the face?” Steve asks.

“I can’t see the lace.”

“Eddie…”

“I know! But I’m speeding on the way home.”

Steve slides into the passenger seat and looks out the window to make sure no one is directly next to them. When he doesn’t see anyone except Robin walking back towards the party, he leans over to kiss Eddie’s cheek.

“Thank you for letting me try something new.”

Eddie blinks over at him. “Thank me? Thank you. Holy shit, Steve. You’ve never been hotter than you are right now.”

“Okay, okay. Drive us home so I can ride you.”

“Fuck. Okay.” Eddie puts both hands on the steering wheel. “Focus, Eddie.”

“You’re such a dork,” Steve laughs.

“I’m living my dream right now.”

Steve can’t agree more.

[treatbuckywkisses]

OKKAAYYY SO BUCKYS POV SAVED ME IDC WHAT HAPPENS I WILL REMEMBER THIS MOMENT AND I WILL NOT BE SAD. so convinced this chapter was written with me in mind front and center. I just saw Bucky's pov and my brain got excited and skimmed everything so brb I'm about to ACTUALLY read it😅

There’s never been anyone whom he’s connected with enough to warrant a second date, let alone have him promising to call. He’s completely out of his depth, drowning in a sea of anxiety and no one has taught him how to swim.  - ok are you joking. this is my favorite line I found it don't worry. man's is PUSSY WHIPPED HAHA DAMN STRAIGHT PINKY PROMISE DATE 1 AND NOW HES LOCKED IN 

Perhaps he’ll find the courage to call tomorrow. oh he's in love:( he's a BABY:( GIVE HIM TO ME NOW WE

“I’m gonna need a little more information than that Buck, there’s been quite a few girls of yours, especially from the hospital.” Steve laughs, but Bucky’s chest tightens at the insinuation that you’re just another fling, even though Steve doesn’t know any better. the scream I Scrumpt :((((( he's so in it 

Though his experience screams at him to run in the opposite direction, that this would be a horrible decision leading to further pain, Bucky finds it hard to believe someone as sweet and good-natured as yourself would ever hurt him intentionally. Even if there is only a slim chance that he doesn’t completely fuck this up, given Bucky cannot stop thinking about you, he supposes it’s worth a shot calling you. -YESSSSSSSSSS Stevie is the bestest ❣️ 

You wonder if the notion of actually calling you, or simply messaging, has even crossed Bucky’s mind once since he left your place about 36 hours ago, or if he already knew it was an empty promise at the time he made it. NOOOOOOO this is soul crushing 😭 he's just anxious give him a xanax stat!

You hate how good he looks, long chestnut hair framing his face and those dazzling blue eyes you’ve dreamed about shine from all the way across the room. He’s unfairly attractive, and he walks into a room like he knows it too. -ooohhhh:( the show of confidence he has on the outside when he's having the same inside thoughts as me over a phone call is !!!!!!!!!! you are a genius I'm kissing you kissing you kissing you 

“Yep, that’s her.” Bucky says with a pride that if Steve didn’t know any better, would suggest that her meant his girl. Bucky answers without taking his eyes off you, the corners of mouth tugging into a smile. His best friend has it bad, and he doesn’t even realise.  - I'm sick YOU are sick this is SICKENING in the absolute best possible way:( 

The combination of your words and the fact that you punctuated the sentence with his true first name sends Bucky straight to heaven. Everything about you makes him completely weak in a way he has never experienced before. All of those walls Steve seems to think Bucky has built around himself don’t appear to exist with you, instead, you’ve come into his life as easily as walking through a front door with a welcome mat out front. - the use of his first name will never not be a personal attack against me, that makes me so eye twitchingly feral. Him sensing the surprise is CRIMINAL you have made a story in which people are literally made for each other how does that make you feel 🤬🤬🤬 

Withdrawal

[He’s Hazardous To My Health Series]

Paramedic!Bucky Barnes x Resident!Fem!Reader

< < PART 2 | Series Masterlist | PART 4 > >

Summary: You wait for Bucky to call.

Warnings: strictly 18+ due to the AU, some angst and self doubt, references to sex, references to Bucky having a traumatic past

Word count: 2.8k

A/N: Will he call? Won’t he call? Let’s find out! Banners by @vase-of-lilies

Main Masterlist | Ask me anything! | Taglist | Library

Bucky stares down at his phone and sighs.

He wants to call you, genuinely, so why is dialling your number so difficult?

Perhaps it’s too soon, is what he tells himself. It hasn’t even been a full day since the end of your date, calling now probably makes him look desperate.

Should he message you? Tell you that he hasn’t been able to stop thinking about you all day? Ugh, no… that seems extremely forward for someone he’s only been on a single date with, regardless of if it’s the truth.

There’s never been anyone whom he’s connected with enough to warrant a second date, let alone have him promising to call. He’s completely out of his depth, drowning in a sea of anxiety and no one has taught him how to swim.

Bucky knows he’s overthinking, but you make it hard to think clearly. You have his brain short circuiting, reforming synapses so that all his thoughts are rerouted to the same thing: you.

Turning his phone off, he sets it down beside him. Just because he isn’t calling straight away, doesn’t mean he won’t at all. It’s probably better to wait and not seem super eager.

Or is that counterintuitive? If you enjoy someone’s company, should you let them know so you can see them again as soon as possible?

Fuck, why is this such a daunting task? He’s never had an issue with talking or flirting with anyone before, it seems to come naturally to him. And yet the thought that he’ll say the wrong thing, and fuck up whatever it is between the two of you is making his stomach churn with prickling nerves he’s never experienced before.

Perhaps he’ll find the courage to call tomorrow.

* * *

“You seem distracted, what’s on your mind?” The familiar voice from the driver's seat of the ambulance pulls Bucky from his daydream.

You, is what Bucky thinks. You are constantly on his mind. Him and his best friend Steve are half an hour into their shift and you have not left the forefront of his mind in that entire time.

It’s like he’s in a trance.

“There’s this girl from the hospital…” Bucky trails off, unsure how to articulate exactly how you’ve bewitched him since meeting not even a week ago.

The night before last wasn’t just another hookup. At least, not to him.

“I’m gonna need a little more information than that Buck, there’s been quite a few girls of yours, especially from the hospital.” Steve laughs, but Bucky’s chest tightens at the insinuation that you’re just another fling, even though Steve doesn’t know any better.

“Two nights ago we went on a date, it ended up back at her place.” This is probably not news to Steve - he’s heard many stories about Bucky’s one night stands which would have started exactly like this. But there is one huge difference this time around. “And then I told her I’d call.”

“You’re thinking about a second date with her? She must be something special.” Bucky chuckles under his breath. Yeah, you really are something special. So fucking special.

“She’s beautiful, intelligent, funny, witty. When she was treating that little girl from the train derailment she was so good with her, kind and patient. I don’t know how to describe it, we just click. I don’t think I’ve ever allowed myself to feel more than physical attraction for someone but with her it just happens, I can’t stop myself.”

He doesn’t want to admit it to himself, but Bucky’s already addicted to you. He’s only had one fix, but he’s already showing symptoms of withdrawal. Every second apart feels like an hour, craving your company and the rapture firing in every neuron of his body when you’re in his presence.

“Look at you actually falling for someone.” Steve teases, without even knowing the full extent of how enthralled Bucky is with you. “So when are you seeing her again?”

Silence fills the front seat of the ambulance when Bucky can’t answer the question.

“Bucky, you have to see her again! Listen to how you’re talking about her, I don’t think I’ve ever heard you actually speak about wanting to see someone again. You need to call her.” Steve stops at a red light and looks over to Bucky in the passenger seat. His best friend knows him better than perhaps he knows himself but doesn’t have the same obstacle with letting people in as Bucky does.

“That’s easier said than done.” Bucky can’t mask the dejected tone in his voice, and Steve recognises the crestfallen hang of his head, knowing exactly what he means without voicing it aloud.

“I know you've been through a lot in your life Buck, you’ve built walls up to prevent any more heartbreak…” Steve starts, but Bucky doesn’t need yet another reminder of his tragic backstory.

“Alright Mr I minored in psychology, I get your point. I’m damaged goods and don’t let people get close to me.”

“It’s just a second date, Buck, you aren’t asking for her hand in marriage. Just see where it goes.” Steve makes it sound so easy. Most people wouldn’t get so stressed about something they would consider as minor as a second date, yet Bucky feels like he’s about to expose the most intimate parts of his soul to someone for the first time.

“But I don’t want to hurt her. I know nothing about dating or being in a relationship.” Bucky pauses - the fact that he’s even considering something as substantial as a relationship with you punches him in the gut. He’s never wanted that with someone before. “And I don’t want to get hurt myself.” Because all Bucky has known is relationships breaking down. To him romantic relationships are synonymous with pain and he’s had enough of that for a lifetime.

“You’ll never know if you never try. I know you think letting someone in will lead to heartbreak, but what if it’s the opposite? What if by letting this person into your heart you finally find love and contentment?” Bucky has never allowed himself to imagine a life where that is a possibility - opening himself up to that prospect sounds like a recipe for more suffering. Besides, he’s been damaged goods for a long time, he’s sure there’s no one who would want to put up with him anyway.

“You really are a hopeless romantic.” Bucky comments, trying to avoid the questions Steve is raising, and divert the topic of their conversation.

“I want you to be happy, Buck. You’ve never afforded yourself that courtesy.”

Though his experience screams at him to run in the opposite direction, that this would be a horrible decision leading to further pain, Bucky finds it hard to believe someone as sweet and good-natured as yourself would ever hurt him intentionally. Even if there is only a slim chance that he doesn’t completely fuck this up, given Bucky cannot stop thinking about you, he supposes it’s worth a shot calling you.

“Well, maybe it’s finally time I do.” Bucky mutters under his breath.

* * *

You’ve been checking your phone periodically throughout the day to se if you have any new notifications from Bucky, but each time your phone lights up, a new wave of disappointment floods your chest.

You wonder if the notion of actually calling you, or simply messaging, has even crossed Bucky’s mind once since he left your place about 36 hours ago, or if he already knew it was an empty promise at the time he made it.

“Heard anything yet?” Wanda asks hopefully, but you shake your head in response. The first thing Wanda asked during your next shift together was how your date went with Bucky - between treating patients you described the picnic Bucky set up on the riverbank and (in slightly less detail) the euphoric night you shared when you made it back to your place.

“I’m stupid for actually believing he’s going to call, aren’t I?”

“…No.” Wanda offers after a brief hesitation which tells you more than the single word does. Sensing your regret in asking, she continues on. “Sweetie, only you know the connection you share, I can’t speak to that. If you feel like there’s something special there and he promised to call, then you have every right to believe him.”

Perhaps you’re being foolish, you should know better than to hang your hopes on a man who is notorious for being a fuckboy, but you really thought Bucky was being genuine when he promised to contact you. That the blissful night you shared, and the waves of ecstasy which melded into a flood of pure pleasure, meant more than just a one night stand.

Or at least it did to you.

“Just because he’s never pursued more than a first date with other people in this hospital doesn’t mean he isn’t now, or isn’t with you. Sometimes it just takes the right person, that could be you.” You take some comfort in the sincerity of her tone, but the voice in the back of your mind reminds you of what Wanda alerted you to prior to your date: no one gets a second date with Bucky Barnes.

“You’ve changed from giving me no hope to giving me false hope, Wan.” You joke, trying to brush off the conversation and not reveal just how heartbroken you’ll be if Bucky ghosts you, even with Wanda warning about his ways.

Internally you remind yourself that it’s only been a day and a half and to not be too mad at him, yet. Perhaps he intends to call, but hasn’t gotten around to it, though you’re pretty sure you’re only telling yourself that to stop the perpetual ache in your chest rather than truly believing it.

“He promised he would call, that’s not false hope.” Wanda advises, shooting you a look of encouragement as you both complete paperwork for your respective patients.

At that moment, the doors to the ER swing open and none other than the paramedic you were just speaking about walks in wheeling a patient.

You hate how good he looks, long chestnut hair framing his face and those dazzling blue eyes you’ve dreamed about shine from all the way across the room. He’s unfairly attractive, and he walks into a room like he knows it too.

Him and his partner consult the head nurse of the ER, who, after examining her clipboard for a moment, points towards your direction, making your stomach flip.

Steel blue eyes meet yours and for a moment your entire world stands still. The sounds of the busy ER fade away and even the presence of Wanda beside you dissolves into non-existence when his eyes find you and a smile overtakes his features. That damn cheeky smile which makes your knees weak.

He truly is infuriatingly beautiful.

“Hey.” Is all you can think to say as they approach, a lump in your throat forming which would prevent you from voicing any more words if your brain could think of any other than how strapping and handsome he looks in his uniform.

“Hi.” Bucky responds softly with a dreamy smile, eyes lingering on yours for a long beat before turning away. How could someone who looks at you with such warmth not want to see you again?

You shake the thought from your mind as your focus on the patient, a young man with scared brown eyes. You can’t afford to be distracted right now, even if you desperately want to look back at him and revel in the fondness brimming in his eyes which was so apparent during your date.

After Bucky’s equally tall, broad and handsome paramedic partner gets you up to speed on the patient's history, you get to work on taking his vitals.

“Rogers, Barnes, give us some space to work, please.” Dr Strange requests and without the chance to say another word to each other, both paramedics disappear out the corner of your periphery.

What you don’t notice is Bucky’s soft gaze on you through the glass walls of the patient room as you start your work up, believing that he had simply got back in his ambulance and out into the field.

“That’s her?” Steve asks from beside Bucky. He knows full well it must be you, he’s never seen his best friend look so enamoured with a girl, nor lost for words as when he set eyes on you, but he wants Bucky to admit it aloud.

“Yep, that’s her.” Bucky says with a pride that if Steve didn’t know any better, would suggest that her meant his girl. Bucky answers without taking his eyes off you, the corners of mouth tugging into a smile. His best friend has it bad, and he doesn’t even realise.

Steve suspects if he doesn’t remind Bucky they have a shift to get back to, he’d happily watch you work for the rest of the day.

He allows Bucky a couple more minutes of that luxury before heading back to the ambulance, knowing his best friend well enough to realise before either Bucky or yourself do, just how significant Bucky’s feelings for you are.

* * *

Bucky steps out of the shower, the warm water having rinsed the hard days work off himself.

He knows he needs to call you. Waiting any longer, especially after seeing you today, even if it were only for a brief moment, would surely only indicate disinterest. That’s so far from how he feels about you, so he decides needs to take matters into his own hands and fulfil the promise he made two nights ago.

A fresh swarm of butterflies fills his stomach. He’s actually going to do this.

He just hopes you’re after more than just another hookup. Bucky’s used to being the one only interested in sex, but if the roles are reversed this time, it’ll be his exposed heart being ripped from his chest.

No, he can’t think like that. He’s finally giving himself a chance at happiness.

Bucky reminds himself that you asked him to promise to call after your date. It’s not just him that wants this, you want him to call.

With that thought, he pulls out his phone and quickly presses on your contact, so he doesn’t chicken out, and with a shaky hand holds his phone to his ear. Bucky’s heart beats in his throat as the first ring sounds, and then skips a beat altogether when the click of you answering fills his ears.

“Bucky, you called.” He can hear the smile in your voice through the line, but what makes his heart clench is the trace of surprise he can perceive, as if you truly hadn’t expected him to call.

“I did promise to.” He reminds you, but it doesn’t entirely eliminate the bitter shame bubbling in the pit of his stomach that even though he did in fact promise, you didn’t fully believe him.

“I’m happy you did. I had a really great time the other night.”

“So did I.” Those three simple words don’t sum up just how much Bucky wholeheartedly enjoyed every second he spent with you, regardless of if that were naked in your bed or getting to know you on a picnic blanket as the sun set across the horizon, but in his anxious state he can’t find words more poetic to express it. “And I’d love to do it again if you’re up for it.”

“Hmm, I’m gonna have to think about it.” He can tell by the light tone of your voice you’re joking, but he supposes he deserves waiting for an answer considering he made you wait for his call. “Of course I’d love to go on a second date with you James.”

The combination of your words and the fact that you punctuated the sentence with his true first name sends Bucky straight to heaven. Everything about you makes him completely weak in a way he has never experienced before. All of those walls Steve seems to think Bucky has built around himself don’t appear to exist with you, instead, you’ve come into his life as easily as walking through a front door with a welcome mat out front.

“I guess I’m going to have to outdo a picnic at sunset then.” He chuckles to himself, knowing that he’s never had this problem before, but realising it’s a good problem to have.

You continue to talk well into the night, forgetting what time it is, and that you both have early shifts in the morning. None of that matters when you’re so caught up in each other.

Bucky simply enjoys the sound of your voice, and how it soothes the remaining anxiety which was swirling in his chest before calling you. He certainly isn’t hanging up first, not when talking with you has been the best part of his day.

He’s chasing happiness. And he might just find it with you.

Part 4 > >

Be added to the series taglist here

He’s Hazardous To My Health [Paramedic!Bucky Barnes] Taglist: @lavenderpenumbra @crazyunsexycool @eralen @buckbuckyoongs @blackwidownat2814 @roschele @crayongirl-linz @ozwriterchick @desert-fern @misshale21 @chalesleclerc164 @rookthorne @janineb86 @emmabarnes @scarletbich @fallenlilangel99 @princezzjasmine @mdrovert @thebuckybarnesvault @doasyoudesireandlive @solitarioslilium @iamfandomwasted @tanyaspartak @netflixxgoddess @pop-rocks-818 @dumdidditydumdoo @missvelvetsstuff @marvelhoeland @thesadcatto-queen @kayden666 @amiimar @razor-blayde @katheryn1 @safew0rd @kentokaze @thewackywriter @lady-loki-barnes-djarin @badasswlthafatass @Vickie5446 @loveoldmenlikelana @00cmh @pointless-girl @honeyglee @nerdxacid @moonymagician @ashhsage @prettylittlepluviophile @otomefromtheheart @sjsmith56 @mandijo17 @lokidokieokie @oceansandblackhearts @rebeccapineapple @soorwellystan @excusememrbarnes @lofaewrites @snapcapquartet @wishingwell-2 @unaxv @aya-fay

[daysofourlivesrecaps]

Thursday, 13 July 2023

It’s a sad day in Salem — today is the funeral for Mayor Abraham Carver (who isn’t actually dead, as we the audience know, but none of these poor saps do.)

Paulina, having passed through the “sarcastic about cactuses” stage of grief, is doing her best under the circumstances. And Chanel, astoundingly, is still being a responsible adult and a supportive daughter!

Theo (Abe’s son) shows up…

…and then Paulina sends Chanel away… for some reason? They make kind of a big deal about how Paulina’s being so insistent about this, while also being quite vague about the reasons, but… it’s just so she can talk to Theo for a minute? So that was nothing. Well, Paulina’s out of her mind with grief, I guess. Not everything she does has to make sense.

Chanel, for her part, continues her supportive streak and leaves as instructed.

Then Theo goes over the eulogy he intends to deliver at the funeral. Which includes this amazing line calling out a dumb thing Paulina did.

Theo, incidentally, is autistic. I admit I don’t know as much about autism as I probably should and maybe (ironically) I’m missing some obvious signs that he’s putting off. But it often feels like the writers forget about this themselves, write him like they would any other character and occasionally throw in a line like “as you know, I’m autistic.” But this was an excellent way to remind us and give us a good laugh — not even at his expense, because that thing Paulina did WAS actually very dumb!

Meanwhile, Steve and John are going over the evidence in The Case of the Missing Mayor again. I suppose the best time to do this is “right before the funeral we’re having because we failed so hard that Abe has been presumed dead.”

Then Chanel stops by. I’m pretty sure I know the answer in this round of Do These Characters Even Know Each Other? (it’s no), but her mom did shoo her out of the house and this is as good a place as any to be, I suppose?

It does allow her to share some information about Nurse Whitley and Jerry (the guy who claimed he saw Abe fall into the river) that actually sheds new light on their case.

These guys are supposed to be seasoned private investigators, both with an extensive background in law enforcement. And this former party girl-turned-baker, who can’t be older than 25, may have just blown the case wide open for them.

Of course, Abe is still fine.

Well. Not fine. He’s still trapped in Nurse Whitley (who we’re now calling Nurse King, apparently?)’s apartment, and still receiving regular injections of heavy sedatives.

But he’s not dead.

Not for the first time, I find myself wondering exactly what Nurse Whitley Kim Coles King is playing at here. Does she want Abe to start believing that she’s actually his wife Paulina? Then what? Surely he’s going to continue to unravel this extremely shoddy tapestry of lies. If nothing else, someone is going to slip and reveal one of her many non-Paulina names to him. Does she really think he’s just going to give up on all of that and settle into a life he clearly hates with a woman he clearly also hates?

The only thing that really makes sense to me, given what we know about her character, is that she eventually wants to dress him up like a cat and then taxidermy him and keep the body on her couch for the rest of her life.

Oh, it turns out there is a next phase to this plan, and it’s not my cat-taxidermy-Abe scenario. It actually involves leaving town.

She advises Jerry to do the same, and offers him a wad of cash to do so.

And she gives us this line, which MUST be a reference to another show streaming on Peacock, right?

And — hey, look! Lani’s still in town! She stops at the DiMera mansion to chat with Kristen. These two are canonically best friends, and not in that “oh shit, Nicole and Chloe are best friends!” way. So it makes total sense that Lani would come over for a little hangout.

She also happens to bring up the fact that Rachel is missing and asks if Kristen kidnapped her. And almost immediately sees through the lie, because KRISTEN, THIS IS YOUR BEST FRIEND OF MANY YEARS WHO IS ALSO A DETECTIVE. DID YOU REALLY THINK YOU WERE GOING TO GET SOMETHING PAST HER?

Also concerned that Rachel has gone missing: her dad, Brady, who’s hanging up posters in the town square.

Then he has a chat with Marlena, who tells him not to worry.

And, look — I’ve made no secret of my love of Marlena. But HIS CHILD IS MISSING. I mean, yes, obviously Kristen has her. But the Salem PD (what’s left of it anyway) searched the DiMera mansion and Brady confronted her personally. So we have no evidence that she actually has Rachel. The kid might actually be in serious danger for all anyone knows! (In fairness, they haven’t read this recap so they don’t know about the conversation with Lani yet.)

Later, after Abe’s funeral, Brady meets his dad at the pub and he basically says what Marlena says: “Rachel’s fine, don’t sweat it.”

Sure.  We all just attended a funeral for the last person in this town who went missing. But I’m sure this will all turn out okay.

As promised, Marlena confronts Kristen.

She lays on some pretty thick mom-guilt about how she JUST gave Kristen free hypnosis EARLIER THIS VERY WEEK but Kristen continues to lie. Marlena’s also not buying it, but she’s not familiar enough with Kristen to lay the “bitch” line on her like Lani did.

So that confrontation doesn’t amount to a whole lot, but it does set off a series of other confrontations!

Like Steve, confronting Nurse Kidnapthemayor!

And Lani, confronting Jerry!

Damn it, Jerry!

We may finally be closing in on the actual whereabouts of Abe, who is actually drugged out of his goddamned gourd and watching more Body and Soul! 

I was initially a little disappointed in this installment because we’ve already seen these B&S versions of Kate and Jerry and I was hoping to see some performers we hadn’t seen on this show yet.

And so, as if answering this concern, Abe himself — the actual Abe, not a performer who resembles him — appears on the soap, at Lorna DeLorean’s door!

Man, if whatever’s in Nurse Kim-King’s syringe makes you think you live inside a soap, how can I get a prescription?

[whookami]

Whats your opinion on Steve's apparently strained relationship with his dad? And how this could've possibly shaped his former bully persona and the facade he used to put on in S1? I know theres very little to go on in canon about his dad but i'd love to hear your thoughts...

Okay, I’ve been sitting on this for a while because I was trying to think honestly about this and separate what I think is likely from what my own personal headcanons are, as well as the common headcanons a lot of the fandom shares for Steve.

I think Steve’s dad isn’t a bad guy, at least, not openly abusive. I don’t even think he’s all that emotionally abusive. I think he’s a very traditional man, very much entrenched in the idea that the husband goes out and earns the money while the wife stays home and raises the children, and those children are expected to be well behaved, obedient, and good at both academics and sports. A very proper 1950s family. The problem is that this is the 80s, a time of rampant greed and pro-capitalist propaganda. Greed is good! The 80s were a very image-conscious era, very much concerned with making as much money as possible and projecting out an image of wealth and success, and Mr. Harrington was ALL ABOUT THIS.

I think the first problem comes in when Mrs. Harrington is not well suited to this life. I don’t think she would like being in a small town like Hawkins. I think she would desire more of a social atmosphere, a place where she could be involved in charities and auxiliaries and womens’ social clubs. I think in Hawkins she finds herself bored and unoccupied. I think she loves Steve, but isn’t great at motherhood. She more or less leaves him to his own devices and doesn’t much understand her son. She feels alienated and alone and subconsciously she is perhaps resentful. When Steve is finally old enough to be left alone she travels with her husband on business trips to keep him in line. This shows that there is no trust in this marriage and it’s an openly known fact that Mr. Harrington cheats.

The next problem is that Steve isn’t at all academically inclined. Now, I admit that I think it’s partially due to an undiagnosed learning disorder, but ultimately that doesn’t matter. His father has his own ideas as to why Steve isn’t pulling the grades he thinks his son should be, and they mostly boil down to laziness. A learning disorder doesn’t fit with his view of a perfect family, so he can’t even conceptualize that Steve might have one. He can see Steve as just not trying hard enough to live up to his potential though. From Mr. Harrington’s point of view he’s given Steve everything he needs to succeed: a nice home, all the best school supplies, nutritious food, the best clothes, and anything else that has a clear monetary cost attached to it. Love and attention don’t fit his idea of being a father, he’s only there to provide and discipline. His role is to be the one to mold his son into a man, and that means he has to force Steve to act and behave certain ways.

This is where we get King Steve from. I have written extensively that I don’t actually see Steve as having been a bully, he was more of that rich douche, the clueless trendsetter that others flock to because of his wealth and ability to raise their positions in the social hierarchy. Steve also possesses a natural charisma (or rather, Joe does, and Steve got the benefit of that) that draws people in. Unfortunately this has the problem of drawing in the type of people who want to use others to their own benefit, to advance themselves. Steve is desperate for meaningful connections with people due to his lack of parental attention, and as such willingly goes along with people who aren’t a good influence on him but who make him feel validated and appreciated. He basically lets Tommy and Carol call the shots and only gives token protests when they’re making hurtful or bullying statements. He doesn’t want to rock the boat too much and find out that he doesn’t have as much power as it would appear from the outside. He acts in the confident, self-aggrandizing manner that further projects the image his father wants the family to be seen as. To this length he even bought his sixteen year old son a super super expensive car, an ultimate demonstration that they have so much money he can waste it like this on his kid who is only learning to drive. I can’t even begin to imagine what Steve’s insurance must cost per month!

So yes, ultimately most of who we first see Steve as is a reflection of his highly successful, but emotionally absent father. It’s about portraying that image to the best of his ability when in public. In the very first episode we see that when Steve is in private with Nancy he’s actually a big ol’ dork. He’s also pretty respectful for a horny teenage boy, not too pushy about the making out. When Nancy seriously tells him to stop he picks the flashcards back up and gets back on task. He’s a good kid on the inside, but is being pressured by his family and his ‘friends’ into the image of a slick, womanizing, jock, one who only cares about himself. Not to say that Steve can’t be selfish, as he definitely is at times, but that also comes from his unbringing and problems relating to his father. He is legitimately worried about his father finding out about his party, despite said party being four kids and a couple of beers. Like, that...that isn’t a party?? I get why any kid would be worried, but ultimately it’s not like he threw a giant shindig and destroyed his house.

I think after his fight with Jonathan, Steve realizes something. I think the words he threw at Jonathan are the sort of words he’s heard from his father before, the type of disapproving gossip the elder Harringtons would talk derisively about at the dinner table, the one time of day the family is actually together. I think Steve suddenly realizes that he’s being a version of his dad, that he’s on a path that leads to becoming him for real. He realizes his friends are actively encouraging this transformation. I honestly think Steve really dislikes his dad, not just for neglecting Steve and never trying to forge a connection with him, but also for how the man’s treatment has affected his wife, how his infidelities have turned her bitter and untrusting. Steve got upset at Jonathan and Nancy because he thought they were cheating, and that’s something Steve can’t tolerate. It’s pretty much the ultimate betrayal and I think it’s probably where most of his derision for his father comes from. He’s more easily upset on the behalf of others than on his own behalf. He resents his father for not loving his mother enough to be faithful to her. So he lashes out when he thinks he’s been treated the same way, only to realize that it made him act more like his father than ever. This took him aback to the point that he turned his back on the people who had been his ‘friends’, and caused him to make the most impressive and nature decision that he ever has: he apologized. Like, that legitimately awed me. It is so hard to admit when we’re wrong, even privately to ourselves. For Steve to admit that and want to actually fix it, to go to the person he’d hurt and tell them he was wrong? That really shows the kind of person that Steve is on the inside. Who he is when stripped of his artifices. A person with a huge heart that truly cares what others think of him and who wants to be liked for the right reasons, but who sometimes fucks up because he was never given positive demonstrations of how to be that person.

Tl;dr Steve’s dad is a emotionally absent traditionalist who resents his dumb son, and his mom is a bored housewife who takes any opportunity to find something to distract her from her dull day to day existence. His father’s cheating greatly affected Steve and built a wedge of resentment between them, further destroying their chances at a meaningful relationship. Somehow they produced a son who has a huge heart and a desire to be loved, but who never had the encouragement or tools to express this and was instead led down a path of bad behaviour by those who wanted to exploit the Harringtons’ ‘perfect’ image.

[sweater-daddiesdumbdork]

On The Hunt: Then Two Steps Behind

Summary- 4.7 Alpha Steve x Little One. Steve and Bucky are finding no leads in their tracking, but Fury has a possible lead. T'Challa makes use of the Reader's Little Wolf tracking skills to help locate some of their kidnapped Panthers in Ulysses' camp.

Warnings- violence, mentions of weapons, and shifters being trafficked.

A/N- Thank you so much for everyone sharing and following this story. Any input, questions, or just general thoughts about this verse is welcome! It's pretty inspiring to keep continuing this story. Special shout out to my beta, if you see this, thank you! Dividers made by @firefly-graphics 💙🐺

Chapter Two / Masterlist

Steve scanned over the Howling Commando’s gear, giving a nod of approval. “I don’t see anything we need to switch out, send a message to Stark that we are fine.” Steve told the beta who gave a nod to confirm and turned away to do the task given. Steve was meticulous in checking their gear, knowing that such a thing could be life or death for the team. 

Following the maze of hallways, he soon found Bucky who was hovering over a table, his hands in fists as he pressed down against the wood that was creaking under his weight. Fury eyed Bucky from the other side. 

“If there was something to tell you Barnes, I would give it to you.” 

“All of this is nothing?” Bucky snapped, if the White Wolf was at all showing, Steve knew he would be bristling. 

“Now I didn’t say that I have nothing, just not from this intel you brought me.” Fury, always cool and collected. He tapped on a screen, projecting a picture. “ My sources say it’s not just wolves Hydra is going for. It’s shifters in general.” Steve approached, glancing over the information the projection showed. “And they are willing to use smugglers to get them.” Another tap shifted to another projection, stats, and a face appeared on the screen. 

A face that the Alpha saw made him immediately snarl, Steve baring his teeth at the image. The weathered face with a grim sneer stared back at him. “Ulysses wanted to sell Y/N when they had us. Brock refused but he was willing to pay whatever for her.” 

<We should rip his throat out> The Alpha dropped his own suggestion. 

Gladly.

Fury nodded as if not surprised by Steve’s information. “I’m not at all surprised he would have bought Y/N. He is a kidnapper and smuggler. He stands to make a profit on an Omega Wolf such as Y/N. They are highly sought after because they are hard to control than a Beta or weak Alpha is, not to mention few and far between.” Fury side-eyed Steve as he said this. 

It made Steve’s stomach churn at the thought of someone buying you just to break you. Bucky studied the man as well, trying to place him. “I remember bits and pieces of him while Brock had me. He brought Brock shifters, but so many of them were barely hanging on anymore that we had to…” He stopped talking, dragging in a breath before continuing. “You think we can get what we need from him?” 

Fury shrugged. “It’s more than you Alpha’s are finding now. If you want to pursue him, I can get you over there.” 

“Where is he?” Steve questioned. 

“He is on the edge of Wakanda’s borders right now.” 

Steve glanced at Bucky. “Go visit the King?” 

“Might as well since what we are doing is proving useless for now. I’m going to pack up.” Bucky was abrupt as he left, leaving Fury frowning at the Sergeants departure. 

“Rogers…” He kept his tone low. “I want you to know that Barnes isn’t in a good place right now. I know he is practically your brother but you need to be careful with him in the field, especially with the howling commandos following his orders.” 

Steve felt the Alpha bristle at the implication but it was true. Steve wasn’t about to indulge in the struggles Bucky was facing, how the White Wolf has secluded himself away from Barnes, or the nightmares that had him fighting nothing in his room and Steve had to guard him against hurting himself or anyone else in the vicinity, how his anger and fear about the unknown was causing Bucky to either lash out or shut down vacantly. “I'm well aware Nick, trust me. That’s why we are leaving the commandos behind this time, just Bucky and I will be going to Wakanda.” 

Fury clenched his jaw but gave a nod, relenting to Steve’s decision.

“Y/N, your wolf will just stand out.” T’Challa stated while you prepared to argue at the injustice of being left behind. “Wolves and Omega’s are not common here. Ulysses will know exactly who you are when he sees you.” 

“And you don’t think you won’t stick out like a sore thumb? You are the damn king of Wakanda.” You snapped out, you were feeling irritated at the implication you couldn’t go with the panthers and hurt to be left behind. 

T’Challa didn’t let your outburst phase him, well aware that you were dealing with pain from Steve’s abrupt departure from your life. “You are right, I will. Why I’m sending Okoye to strike a deal with Ulysses, offering to see his “stock” to make purchases. You and I will be listening in as backup, should anything go awry.” 

Your jaw snapped shut in surprise and the Little Wolf uncurled in your mind. <It’s reasonable… Ulysses looked us over extensively with interest, he isn’t gonna forget us.>

“Right now it’s the best we can do Y/N, but I promise you're not going to be left behind, we need you.” 

“Yes, I can be okay with that.” you relented, but a silent thank you passed between you and T’Challa with a look. 

Okoye slid from her seat, sighing at the long spear she typically carried. “So I have to blend in with the outsiders?” 

T’Challa nodded “Head to toe.” He pointedly looked at her favored weapon and she scoffed. 

“This comes with me.” With a twist on the pole, to grow compacted, able to store away should she require it. 

“Fine, but you still need to change. From the leader of the Dora to a wealthy trafficker looking to spend.” 

She wrinkled her face in disgust at what she was supposed to portray. “That can be done.” 

T’Challa laughed at her reaction, turning to you. “Come on, we need to blend in a bit more as well Y/N.” 

You scowled at the brickwork of the building you were hovering around. Inside Okoye got her meeting with Ulysses, making the deal as you and T’Challa hovered in the back. The tall man stood next to you, his eyes narrowed at the street beyond, watching carefully. Your hand pressed near your ear, listening to the conversation go down inside. 

“And what is it you're interested in?” Ulysses voice grunted, muffled around something in his mouth. You could picture him with a cigar between his fingers, leering at the Pantheress. 

Then a tone you  expected rolled through the comm’s, Okoye purring in her response. “Specifics? Youngin’ panthers.” 

“Oh, what are you planning on doing with a bunch of brats?” 

“That is my business Mr.Ulysses, but I can promise you no one will look twice at a young panther here wandering the streets. Good runners.” 

There was a cackle in the comms and it went silent, you felt your heart hammer in your chest that maybe Okoye was caught. You made to bolt for the door but T’Challa’s hand grabbed at you, sweeping you into his hold like the two of you were huddling against one another. His sharp feline scent assaulted your senses as he hushed his voice near your ear. “Calm Wolf, his men are scouting the area for threats.” 

You turned into T’Challa, hiding against him, letting him shield you from sight. The Little Wolf lowered low, growling softly in your mind. Hush, I can’t hear Ulysses. 

<Sorry, I just hate being here and not doing anything.>

I do too. 

A booming man’s laugh came through. “You are ruthless, using the kids. Smart though. Sure, I got some inventory you might be interested in. Gonna cost you though.” 

“Name your price, I will have it ready tomorrow.” 

After a few more exchanges, Okoye hinted that she was leaving. T’Challa tilted his head back towards the street, signaling it was time for you two to leave the back alleyway and retreat with Okoye. 

As you both started out for the main street, Ulysses men came back through, stalking down the alley. Luck was not on your side as you tried to duck from being seen, one of them brushed against you, hard enough to make you stumble and the man lifted his nose, eyes blazing with interest. 

A fucking tracker, of course, this human would employ shifters. “I know you.” He snarled, whirring on you with interest. His eyes blazed at you as he sniffed the air again. “You were that Alpha’s bitch.”

Vibranium blades you kept hidden up your sleeves slipped down into your palm as you twisted to face the shifter, cursing at the luck you were recognized. You were seconds away from activating the bracelets on your wrist. T’Challa slipped out of sight, the men rounding on you taking no interest in what looked like another homeless person wandering the alley. “I have no Alpha.” 

“I can tell, you have that feral look to you, a bitch with no one to control her.” He sneered as he thought he had you cornered. The Little Wolf bristled, readying for the attack of the larger shifter, her snarls starting to build in your chest and escape as you finally revealed your weapons, slicing the tip across the man's face, catching his cheek in a flash, causing him to stumble back in surprise. “You bitch!” He spat while the armor swept across the front of your chest and up around your neck, protecting your throat.

You didn’t give him the time to come at you again, your leg sweeping out to kick at his gut making him double over with his arms wrapped around himself, T’Challa knocked his partner down when the man moved in a rush to help subdue you. He was quickly dropped to the ground while you had your blade pressing against the shifter's neck, pressing the sharp blade in enough to go through layers of skin, your face snarled as it pressed into your attackers. “I don’t need to be controlled.” 

The shifter's scent was sour with fear now, the way you had caught him by surprise. Your Little Wolf was ready to rip his throat out, take out the threat. T’Challa caught the man by the nape of the neck and crushed a handful of herbs under his nose; it was luck that the shifter took a deep, heavy inhale, drugging himself. The fumes were pungent as your attacker's eyes rolled and he was out. 

“Put the blades away Wolf.” T’Challa rumbled out, leaning down to sort quickly through the men's clothing, making it look like a robbery. “No bloodshed today. They will not remember us and we don't want to alert Ulysses that something is going on.” 

You leaned down enough to wipe your blade off and put it away. “What did you give them?” 

T’Challa grinned wickedly as he yanked out their wallets, pulling out the cash and ditching the wallets in a nearby dumpster. “We have more than just vibranium in Wakanda. Our land is rich with medicinal plants if you know how to gather them.” You two went back onto the street, weaving among the people bustling. “When they wake, their memory will feel like fever dreams and have a headache that will make them think they went on a bender and got mugged.” The money he took, he slipped the money to another soul on the street who needed it. “They will be so embarrassed that they won’t breathe a word of this to anyone.” 

You glanced over your shoulder, making sure no one else was following. “Clever.” You muttered while the two of you blended into the crowd, Okoye soon joined them, ignoring them as if they were no one till several blocks away, having been given the all clear sign and all of you piled into a van tucked away. 

“Deal’s in place.” Okoye settled gracefully into a seat while you plopped down, listening to the king and her go over the specifics of when, where, who and how much Ulysses was expecting. 

You could feel your Little Wolf getting ready for the hunt. 

At any kind of exchange of this magnitude, it feels like it should be late. The night time shadows provide places for the most unsavory to slink through, hiding their intentions till they are ready to pump your system full of poison. 

Ulysses set up this exchange at ten o'clock in the morning. The only thing he did like you figured would be to go to a remote location. As the vehicle you were packed into with other panthers let you know, the springs protesting with squeals, you all being jostled in the back. Even T’Challa’s claws were out, digging into the side of the vehicle for stability. Your Little Wolf panted heavily in the muggy heat while you swiped at the sweat creeping down the side of your face. 

Okoye was going over the plans, preparing to let you all out well before reaching the destination with the expectation that the group could finish going the last couple miles, with your Little Wolf using her sharp sense of smell to find the compound's location. Ulysses wasn’t an idiot, he would have his own group checking every vehicle, probably with the same skills you possessed. They were ready though, to mask the scent in the truck, Okoye was confident in that. 

“Y/N, as fast as you all can travel okay? T’Challa is equipped to listen in when I’m ready for all of you to come in.” The stern general glanced at her king. “You have to let me get at least a hold of the kid he is using and try to hold out long enough to find out where else they are keeping people.” Her eyes roved to everyone in the back of the truck. Some of the fiercest shifters you have ever seen, the Dora Milaje was not a force to challenge. “Do all of you understand the orders?” 

A unionized confirmation made you hide a grin, thinking about how your pack mates would be sassing the Alpha right now, but they were as fierce in your opinion as this group. “Y/N?'' Your name came across as having no room for amusement, and you gave a confirming nod to appease Okoye. 

“Good! Stop right here.” She thudded against the driver's end wall and the truck came to a screeching halt, jolting you against T’Challa’s firm side. You distinctly heard the rumbling growl come from him in agitation before loosening his claws from the side. 

Straightening yourself, you popped out of the back of the truck, listening carefully to the sounds around you. Exotic birds and monkeys screamed overhead, which you were used to by now. Bursts of color rose as whatever flock had roosted overhead. The familiar buzzing of bugs and the chittering of other creatures emitted loud, questioning cries. It wasn't till Okoye climbed out and checked in one last time with everyone before she left that things went back to normal. Still loud, the jungle was much like the forests you missed. 

It was when all went quiet did you have to be concerned. Right now, none of you were seen as a threat to the wildlife teaming the area. You hoped that you all could stay that way, it would make your chances of getting to the compound without being caught better. 

“Shuri, we are going dark now…” You heard T’Challa informing his sister in whatever device was planted on him. “And you are going to have to quiet down so I can hear Okoye.” 

Nakia patted an assuring hand against his arm, leaning up to whisper in his ear. You and your Little Wolf felt a pang at the sight of the couple. 

It made you miss Steve, how his presence would have calmed the racing of your heart right now. How he would have checked in with you, his touches would have lingered protectively on you, but it was better. The two of you would have watched each other. 

If only he could remember that time as well as you did. 

The Little Wolf whined, knowing your distractions could cause you harm. You inhaled sharply, getting to work and pushing your mate from your thoughts. 

<Ready when you are.>

A glance at T’Challa sets you in motion, your form quick to shed its human form. Nakia grasped at the clothes of those who shifted and stashed away. The ones who remained were poised on their feet, ready to race alongside. 

The Little Wolf gave a shake of fur after the shift, releasing any of the pent up energy left. Her nose lifted, sharp in the air to sort through the assault of information provided. The air was heavy and damp, making everything cling in particles wherever the water was. A blessing for a tracker, the scents of man and shifters wouldn't fade nearly as fast unless it rained. 

So far the morning sun was shining bright. And she could smell the scent of fear and adrenaline, coating her tongue with a foul taste. 

It was enough to make her spring forward as in a chase, following the trail like it was a string, having unraveled. Everyone followed, well behind to not distract her. Except for T’Challa, the man kept pace with you, feet thudding steadily as you darted through the jungle. The animals who claimed the trees screamed at the suddenness you would burst by, followed by a pack of people and black panthers. But they never silenced, they never feared they were being hunted. 

It provided enough cover that when you skirted around the first of Ulysses' men, they never expected the king to leap over you in a silent attack or the other panthers to silence them. 

Everything about the panthers was stealth while hunting. 

Seconds later you skidded to a stop, the King coming to crouch next to you, his hand resting gently on your back to keep you from continuing. “I see them, they are not hiding very well.” 

Ulysses had let some of his guard down here, not bothering to hide the massive camp so deep in the jungle. Judging from how far they traveled, Wakanda’s borders were not far away. A couple days away on foot if that. 

How could the vigilant panthers miss such a thing? 

“Shuri, note our location.” T’Challa muttered softly. “Do you see anything?” His eyes scanned upwards, searching for how they were hidden. You could faintly hear Shuri’s reply in his ear. 

“Nothing brother. I will test it out some more. So don’t let anyone shoot down my drone.” 

T’Challa cracked a small grin. “I will do my best.” He went silent and you settled down alongside him, focusing on the camp. 

From this vantage, it was all so open. People everywhere doing whatever tasks were assigned to them. The stench was almost overpowering. Fear and remnants of blood, it was saturated into the ground the camp was built on, the Little Wolf kept her ears pinned back in unease. Okoye wasn’t all that far away, an appearance of ease as she talked with Ulysses, the General playing her part well. She never once let it be known she was aware they were close. T’Challa kept watch of her, waiting for her signal. 

“Impressive.”  Okoye’s eyes roamed around the camp while she strode with Ulysses. “Do you move lots of products through?” 

Ulysses was cold as he shrugged. “Enough for you to get what you are looking for, I am sure. Come, I will show you what I have for you.” He gestured his hand forward, Okoye hesitated a moment before flashing him a smile. 

“Shouldn’t you lead the way?” She glanced around and your fur stood up along your spine, a soft uneasy whine making its way up your throat. Something was wrong, it felt wrong. “I do not know the layout of your camp.” 

“And you never will.” Ulysses reached behind him and pulled out a pistol, aimed right for Oyokes chest. From the truck a shot rang out, a scream of the panther driving echoing sharply. “T’Challa thinks he is smart huh?” His voice raised as his finger started to squeeze the trigger, all happening in seconds. “Sending in one of his prized panthers.” The shot rang off, sending T’Challa breaking from cover along with you and the panthers hunting with you. 

Okoye was quicker, the shield Shuri equipped her with bouncing off her forearm she shielded herself and her spear was suddenly in her hand, the metal shooting out to form, knocking Ulysses off balance, the gun slinging away suddenly. 

The metal over your bracelets swooped over you as more shots rang out, the camp suddenly in full combat mode. Panthers snarled in retaliation as they attacked their targets, sharp claws piercing and slashing up men’s bodies. 

T’Challa raced beyond them, Okoye being blown off her feet as a grenade exploded near her and giving Ulysses the chance to evade towards a truck, swinging himself into it to rev the engine. 

The shifters still human stayed in the trees, taking aim with specially made weapons to shoot out anything they could. 

“Shuri, get that drone on that truck,” T’Challa yelled as he reached his general, helping her to stand. 

“I’m fine.” She pushed him away. “Go now. He is close.” Okoye hissed in pain at T’Challa, but he hesitated, unable to leave her just yet. 

You weaved through the fighting, searching for the captured shifters in this camp. The few people that took interest in you, noticing you among the chaos were quickly dealt with as you leaped at them, snapping your jaws at throats and ripping them out. 

It was brutal, quick, and efficient. 

Your nose raced, the smells being sorted in milliseconds till you found what you were looking for. 

Fear, blood, metal, bodies. Panthers always had a scent of the deep jungle tops, misty wet and floral scented. All of it tinged with fear, bitter and sour. Your muzzle wrinkled up at it, jogging to a tent. 

“Who is that?” Bucky was quiet next to Steve, on the backside of the camp. Steve picked up Ulysses scent in the city and they followed it to this camp. The two of them prowled all night, picking up information about what was going on. 

Ulysses was moving shifters through, trucks going in full of shifters they found and leaving in the same way for some other destination. Bucky and Steve were just in the middle of a plan of how to infiltrate the camp when this woman appeared. 

Tall and commanding, she had her driver take her through the front without hesitation. Steve couldn’t believe his eyes as to who he saw. 

Okoye, and if she was here, that meant the Dora Milaje and possibly T’Challa himself were here. “A panther, that must mean there are others.” He pulled back from his hiding spot and tried to scent them. Something familiar was in the air, drawn to its wild sweetness, but he didn’t have the chance to sort it out when Bucky hissed in surprise. 

“They broke cover from the other side of the camp.” 

Steve growled at the suddenness of everything going to hell. Bucky was about to take his chance when he grabbed his brother's arm, pausing him. “Go fast, aim with kill shots Buck, anyone tries using trigger words, don’t give them the chance.” 

Bucky snarled as he shrugged his arm. “I’m fine Steve.” His eyes were hidden as he stepped from hiding and Steve felt the Alpha shake himself off, dispelling the unease of letting Bucky into this. They had seen him struggle with his control. 

<We will stay close> The Alpha assured as Steve bolted out, searching out both Ulysses and Bucky in a sweep of his eyes. 

As much as we can. A boom made the ground shake, Steve had to plant his feet as he found where the next threat was coming from. T’Challa stepped out of the unsettled dust with Okoye wrapped in his arm and a truck was squealing away. 

<There!>

Got him. Steve bolted in a run, preparing to let the Alpha take over when a streak caught his eyes, low to the ground the wolf traveled swiftly, and he would know that run anywhere. You were tracking among the attacking panthers and that made the Alpha stall. 

<What is the Little Wolf doing here?!> Steve changed course, following after you as you approached the tent all the trucks entering the camp earlier would go to. 

He was so far away, Steve yelped a warning as you darted inside, knowing that the tent was loaded with guards all armed with various weapons. Steve skidded inside to see you mid-tackle with one of the mercenaries, your strong jaws around the barrel of his weapon, each snarl had you wrenching your head, scraping your teeth against the metal. Just as fast as he noticed you, Steve assessed where the other threats were located- two on one side, rushing out of their chairs where they were playing cards of some kind and another around the back side of loaded cages, bracing his rifle against the top one to take aim and the one you were currently working on disarming. 

With a lift of his foot, Steve shoved his foot against a wall of empty cages, sending them tumbling over the two mercenaries scrambling to their weapons, his hand slipping against his chest and yanking out a vibranium dagger he carried on him, a gift from T’Challa the last time he was here. The blade raced true to its target, landing in the rifleman's skull and killing him instantly. 

A glance over his shoulder showed you had dragged the mercenary down, unable to withstand your attack anymore while he covered his face with his arms, a weak shield against you. Steve leaped over the cages to grab another mercenary, a punch to his head knocking his senses out and he slumped into dead weight from Steve’s hand. The last one managed to crawl out of the tented area, taking his chances among the panthers. Panting, Steve hauled the last remaining mercenary to one of the cages and slammed him in. 

Finally, it was mostly quiet in the tent, the people in the cages huddling in fear, waiting to see what they would do and there you were. Shifted back to yourself blinking at him, the shield wrapped around your body like a second skin, vibrating with whatever power was built into it. The shock was etched on your face, pain and sorrow quickly melded into a rage. You snarled at him. “What are you doing here Steve?” 

Steve felt himself rising in the challenge as he stepped around the tossed cages, stalking towards you. You looked as fierce as ever, his Little One ready to battle the enemy, but now it was him you were bracing to go against. Your eyes roved over him protectively, like you were making sure he wasn’t injured in any way but kept your touch well away from him. 

“What am I doing here, why aren't you home Little One?” Steve hissed angrily. “Where you are safe?” 

You backed a step like you were whiplashed, shaking your head. “You don't get to call me that Steve. It’s also none of your business.” 

“Are you alone?” Steve hesitated to take another step forward after you purposely backed away from him, out of his reach. “Why isn’t anyone with you?” 

Your chin hitched, your defiant move. Steve could sense you were discussing with your Little Wolf what you must have wanted to share with him. His own Alpha paced frantically because you were so close. Steve tried not to let himself get lost in your scent overwhelming him. It was almost like the first time, heating him from the inside out with the need to be close to you and be able to touch you. <Don’t drive her away Steve.> The Alpha snapped at the man. 

“Yes, it’s just me here, I'm alone now Steve.” You finally started, loosening your fighting stance slightly. “The rest of it is my business. Now help me get these people out of these cages if you are going to stay.” The dismissive tone stung Steve and made his chest ache at how hollow you sounded. 

You simply turned away from him, walking away to continue your mission.

[sideprince]

Hard agree. I think if OOtP and HBP had been broken down into not just plot points, but also themes and foreshadowing when they were being rebuilt as film scripts, they would be easier to turn into a two hour film. If we can't see what Harry is thinking, we can mark out his moods and more important thoughts and use those to build a different mechanism to convey them to the audience than the book does. You can see in both these films that Kloves is struggling and failing to corral the story into a cohesive script, and the director and actors follow in his wake because the script is the backbone of the whole thing, and if its structure is not sound, nothing else will be.

Alan Rickman gets a lot of fandom flack for not being more feral and I always feel defensive because I think Steve Kloves gets away with so much laziness and ineptitude behind the more visible image the actors represent to the audience. Feral Snape didn't exist in the way the script was written. I think Alan Rickman tries to tap into him where and how he could, but as an actor he had to serve the script. If the direction in it doesn't call for him to go ALL CAPS then it makes no sense if he suddenly does, because he has to justify his intentions within the dialogue he's given. He seems to be trying to show the more feral side of Snape in this scene from CoS:

By the time Rickman shot this film GoF had come out, so he would have read the Shrieking Shack scene and known that Snape was a Death Eater turned spy willing to resume the role and used this information to inform his character choices as early as his work in CoS.

And Occlumency lessons in OOtP:

I can't post the rest because @smilingformoney hasn't made the gifs yet lol (thank you for your every snape moment gifs, you're doing the whole community a great service), but Rickman finds moments when Harry is struggling with Occlumency for Snape to grab Harry and shove him, and I think it's in an effort to portray the ALL CAPS Snape who isn't written into the script by finding opportunities to let that aspect of the character come through in ways the writing allows for him to.

If the script gives no action for the actor to throw a jar and the director doesn't call for him to, the actor is limited and can't just grab and break a prop (especially since breaking glass in film requires the object in question to be made of sugar so it can break realistically without being a safety hazard, so if props hasn't been asked to make any then you can't just pick up something and throw it against a wall during the shoot, even if the camera is able to follow your improv-ed actions). So if you want to emulate aspects of that character that aren't written into the scene, you have to find other moments for them than what might be in the book.

Like I ranted endlessly about above, the problems are in the writing. I'm not really surprised that the guy who wrote the vulnerable, angry little creature that was child snape as a clean, docile, passive boy also missed the complexities of this character the whole time they were writing him as an adult. I think Alan Rickman did a stellar job of capturing the Snape Rowling wrote as soft spoken, dangerously calm, whose voice is silky and who prowls the halls at night like a cat ready to attack. But the scripts weren't willing to let through the flip side of a character like that, which is the unhinged, triggered, difficult and ungraceful one. I wonder how much Rickman tried to let that through on set and how many scenes are on a cutting room floor somewhere where his teeth are bared and his eyes are bulging, because the director decided it wasn't pretty enough. I don't blame Rickman for wanting to abandon the role after the first few films, because it must have been a frustrating process to get each script and see how much of his character was left off the page.

i know there were a million things the movies got wrong, but i will forever feel slighted that we didn’t get little snape with dirt on his face in obvious hand-me-downs 

[thediktatortot]

Steddilly / Harringroveson Deep Dive About Accessories & Interpersonal Relationships.

with @asininepigeon & me :)

Billy is selective about his accessories. He probably has a small bowl of carefully curated pieces.

Some from his mom's things she hadn't had time to take with her, something he's snatched while in the rich stores of Hawkins while hanging out with Tommy and Carol, a piece he was given by a really cool queer dude in San Diego and maybe something Max made him when they were really little.

It never gets worn but it has a safe home in the bowl in his bedroom.

Eddie definitely has a bunch of rings and necklaces that he's like stolen, thrift-ed, and were gifted by like Wayne, Hellfire, and the small group of rockers in Hawkins.

They all kind of lay in a jumble and he takes like 20 minutes figuring out which ones he wants to wear. And while I feel like Billy's a bit more minimalist with his jewelry, Eddie loves statement pieces.

Things that scream hey, I'm that dude u call a freak and I fucked your dude for payment of weed 😜

Billy sometimes find's it chaotic, Steve finds it amusing. Steve will occasionally steal some of Eddie's jewelry if their going out somewhere that fits more of Eddie & Billy's vibes. He doesn't touch Billy's jewelry though b/c the two of them know how particular Billy is with what he wears on his body & the last thing they want is to loose something of his lol

Billy does not wear Eddie's jewelry. It's 'clunky & gaudy'

I think Steve doesn't do accessories b/c of the kind of home he grew up in. Accessories for Men™️ are Cuff-Links, Ties, Leather dress shoes, Pocket watches & briefcases.

Steve hates all of that. With a passion.

He got his first pair of sunglasses from his dad at like 13-14 and he felt like they made him feel so cool and mysterious. He doesn't need people to see him and see his flashy things. He just wants them to see that cool, outer layer he's put over himself.

Steve hating dressing up for formal events, b/c he despises wearing suits.

He prefers his soft sweaters, jeans, and sneakers.

Eddie also hating it but for the reason of it represents The Man and fuck The Man. Like he can dress up nice, but he'd never wear a full suit.

I think Billy would dislike certain kind of suits b/c of (ew) Neil but he loves attention and showing off and looking handsome (pretty) so he'd put so much time and effort into wearing formal clothes.

Agreed. Billy would probably like the energy a suit commands if it's the right one and fits him nicely. But it'd have to be perfect.

Exactly, for billy a suit would have to be the right shade of a certain color and the right texture

Like when Steve shops for clothes, it's quality but it's soft things, it's informal wear.

Billy takes like 3 hrs shopping b/c every outfit has to mean something. There's care and precision in what he chooses to wear for a certain day. And then Eddie occasionally saves up and buy things that he really wants, like his jacket, that are really good quality, but everything else is thrifted.

Steve only wearing informal wear is part rebellion, part 'safety' because he's found happiness in the less formal, in the comfortable.

He's used to cold and formal and fake everything and he hates it.

Eddie picks his most prized pieces because he wants what he wears to say something about himself. Everything he wears tells people "THIS IS ME" and so he works hard to express himself through his clothes. And Billy wants the same thing, but in such a different way that it feels more like drawing eyes quietly where Eddie wants to draw eyes loudly.

Billy has to do it quietly too, b/c his clothes are already a rebellion and him expressing himself as much as he can against Neil.

Especially considering that one of Neil's things is presenting their family as typical middle class white suburbia, even if they aren't that. Eddie, while not in the best socio-economic status, still has the safety and freedom to be loudly himself.

Billy does his rebellion quietly, expresses himself quietly because everything else in his life is loud and aggressive & if he rebels too Loudly™️ Neil will put a stop too it.

Even when Neil is gone eventually, Billy still expresses himself quietly. I think at that point it would be him asking "Are you interested in me enough to see what I'm whispering about me" sort of thing.

He wants people to come to him, get his attention, not the other way around.If they want him enough, or want to be his friends enough, they'll read between his lines.

He's very much used to people not caring or ignoring what's blatantly there so I think he'd care so much for anyone looking below the surface. He's such a sensitive lad at the end of the day. And I think Steve and Eddie would probably notice at completely separate occasions.

They would. By different things.

Steve would notice it by watching him from afar, seeing the little expressions he makes when someone says something to him, or he's interacting with the kids or the other teens, by how he closes up around the adults for a long time.

He sees the longing stares of want when Will hugs Joyce, or Hopper reassures El that she's not in trouble or doing well. He sees the light in his eyes when someone brings up a topic he's passionate about or how he laughs quietly when he's actually amused.

I think Eddie would see it in the way Billy opens up more, how he talks more, or offers more physical touch. How he sticks around in a room for longer periods of times and can withstand people's presence more and more.

Billy craves Togetherness and he's slowly allowing himself to get it.

Eddie notices that and adjusts his own touch accordingly to how open Billy is as time goes on.

Eddie is more aware of himself and how he effects others, so he would be good at keeping psychical boundaries with Billy. I think it would be harder for Steve to do the same, as he always wants to fix things. Steve and Billy can but heads more often for it.

Yeah, I can see that. Eddie is a performer and extra as fuck and can also lead.

I think Eddie knows what to look for on someone to tell whether they're uncomfortable or not, b/c then he uses that to his advantage in making people he dislikes uncomfortable.

Like he knows how to play an audience and I think he'd be able to recognize the performance in a lot of the posturing that Billy does. Like in my mind, Billy when he's not being unhinged b/c he's like elated or enraged, is so fucking mellow.

Half-lidded eyes, soft laughs, small smiles, just generally a lot more quieter, but softer in how he treats everything and everyone.

Steve wants to fix everything b/c he can't seem to fix things at home b/c no one is ever there.

There's no communication and I think Steve probably tries to correct that himself, but stating how he feels and what he wants (unless it's something deeply deeply worrying and then he keeps it to himself. More to protect others than help himself). He also wants to help to feel useful and that can cloud his judgment, in him thinking he's making the right decision for someone when that's not necessarily the case.

And something like that would really get on Billy's nerves I feel

Steve has boundary issues because it was never an issue before with people outside of his home.

He had social boundaries, status boundaries, but he was someone who could do what he wanted in the world of his Peers because he was King Steve. Popular rich boy of the school.It's old remnants of his times before everything went down, the remnants of superiority he feels without realizing it.

It's not necessarily superiority now, but it's effected his ability to recognize when he's pushing a boundary at the detriment of everyone.

Like yes a lot has happened and yes, Steve has had a perspective shift, but he was still king Steve and his parents are still notoriously absent from his life.

He definitely does it without realizing it and I feel like Eddie but definitely Dustin and Robin (and Erica b/c she's not afraid to call someone out on their shit) would tell him whereas Billy would just bite back and tell him to fuck off, why does he even care.

Which is why I feel like Eddie and Billy would be close friends first before Steve and Billy got there.

Agreed. Steve has a little more working on himself to go through before he and Billy can truly connect. Their traumas make them a little bad for each other at first, but once they've both had time to work on their shortcomings and reactions to things, learning how they act affects others and how to better read people, they start to connect.

Like I think Eddie has his own stuff to work through, but he's much farther along I think than they are. (Not taking in crazy Upside Down shenanigans b/c that's a whole other story).

So he can recognize a lot of things b/c unlike them he has a good adult figure that's supportive and caring and works alongside with him. It takes them a little bit longer b/c they kind of have to start on their own which is sad.

It does help that Eddie had Wayne.

I feel like Wayne would be a good influence on Billy especially once Billy gets closer to Eddie. He'd get to have, in a round about way, a healthy male figure in his life. I'm sure it confuses him sometimes, gets worried about saying the wrong things to Wayne, but after a while of seeing how Wayne treats Eddie, he'd open up quickly to the older man.

God, Wayne looking at Billy and being like "thats my kid now." makes my heart ache.

Steve doesn't know how to open up to parental figures because his parent's never opened up to him to begin with. Billy had his mom before all this, Eddie has Wayne.

Steve's unsure around adults, doesn't understand the point in getting close to them because 'he can take care of himself'.

Oh, Steve. He makes me so sad sometimes.

Steve being hyper independent, but especially after the whole breakup thing with Nancy, makes me hurt for him. And yeah, he doesn't have any adults and I don't know what the fuck the teachers and guidance people in Hawkins High are doing, but like clearly not caring a bout their students b/c wtf.

So Steve would definitely pull into the fold much later, his need for Independence slows him down. He doesn't want to be alone, but he feels he needs to prove to everyone he can take care of himself.

He doesn't want to hide away things until he's in his shower, still trying to do better but he's only fixing the things that effect other people and not fixing the things that effect him.

He would have one last final 'big bad emotion' out of all of them. breaking down over something small because he feels like he's punishing himself for something and he knows it's stupid and he knows he should reach out and he just can't so he has this big meltdown before the acceptance comes.

I think a reoccurring argument between Steve and the other two would be them telling Steve to 'say what he means' and not try to dance around what he wants.

[likeahorribledream]

Missing Piece

Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four | Part Five |

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader / Beefy!Bucky x Reader

Word Count: 3.9k

Warnings: Fluff, maybe a tiny bit of angst, anxiety, anxiety attack (detailled-ish), touch starved Bucky, no beta reader.

Notes at the end.

You and Bucky learned to communicate better with each other. If there was something that you weren’t sure about or he wasn’t sure about, you asked questions or just told each other how you felt.

The misunderstanding you’d had scared the both of you. Living in an awkward situation was much better than not talking to each other, and you made sure it would never happen again.

It did bring you closer.

You were pretty much inseparable now. Though neither you or Bucky were really comfortable being as open and vulnerable when other people were around, you still found ways to comfort and ground yourselves.

You sat close but never too close, you were never really touching unless one of you felt anxious, you never hugged each other when other people were around; you had talked about it and you both agreed it was what made you the most comfortable.

Steve understood Bucky but the others didn’t. You knew that they would take every opportunity to make a joke, that would end up making one, or both, of you uncomfortable and you didn’t want to risk him closing himself up.

You learned to communicate with each other without having to actually use words. You would look at each other and you’d know almost instantly what the other felt or thought, if you needed help or if you were doing ok.

Sometimes you’d walk by and get a little closer than you normally would just so you could quickly grab his hand and squeeze it to show him you were there. He’d do the same thing with you. Though as an ex-assassin, he was a lot more subtle than you were.

You slept in each other’s room every night. Alternating between his and yours. You wanted to complain to Tony that Bucky’s mattress was a lot more comfortable than yours but that would mean you’d have to admit you were sleeping in his bed; and as far as you knew, no one had noticed and you wanted to keep it this way.

It wasn’t that hard to hide from everyone, it’s not like they went out of their way to stop by either Bucky’s room or yours.

There wasn’t a single night where you’d slept alone, you were now completely codependent when it came to your sleep schedules.

Not that either of you complained, you were more than fine with it. Bucky was your best friend and spending time with him was anything but painful.

There was one small detail you hadn’t thought of.

Bucky wasn’t ‘’officially’’ a part of the Avengers, technically he was still wanted by some authorities but Fury had given him a safe haven considering everything. Bucky might not have been an Avenger but you were. That meant you had a job to do and a duty to fulfill.

Your life has been the same over and over again every day for the past month.

You woke up next to/under Bucky in his or your bed, you’d fight with him so he’d let you get up, once you were able to move, you’d get dressed and go eat breakfast with everybody else, there was training, mission reports, dinner and then back to his or your bed with Bucky.

You had been training with Natasha when Tony walked in, announcing an emergency meeting and that everybody had to meet upstairs.

That wasn’t good.

For weeks there had been talk that there were some scientists in Rostov-On-Don in Russia, working on some kind of bio weapon. Fury had been on their trail for several months, finally now it looks like he had finally found something tangible. His sources said that the scientists were probably part of Hydra and that the bio weapon was believed to be a super soldier serum. If Hydra had found a way to recreate the serum, the world was in danger.

‘’With the informations we’ve received, we need to send a team there to do our own assessment of the threat.’’ Tony explained.

‘’Cap and Nat, you need to bring back anything you’ll be able to find; even if it doesn’t look like much.’’ Tony turned and looked at you.

‘’You’re also going sweetheart, direct orders from Fury.’’ He added.

That wasn’t good. If Fury wanted you there, it meant bad news. You had one purpose and one purpose only. Fury alone knew what it was, aside from you, but when you were necessary for a mission it meant he’s expecting the worst.

‘’How long are we leaving for?’’ Natasha asked.

‘’Depending on how it goes, 4 to 5 days. Maybe more, maybe less.’’ Tony answered, reading the notes Fury had given him.

‘’When are we leaving?’’ You asked, hoping he wasn’t about to say now.

‘’Two weeks from today.’’

You nodded and stopped listening after that. It was bad news on top of bad news. You hadn’t been on a mission in a long time and now you were about to leave for days.

For days.

That means you won’t be able to sleep in the compound for almost a week.

Almost a week’s worth of nights that you won’t have Bucky with you.

Shit, you thought.

Once the meeting was done, you grabbed the files Tony needed you to read to prep before leaving and headed straight to your room.

How the hell were you going to tell Bucky?

You entered your room, relieved to see he wasn’t waiting for you and decided to take a shower before going to see him.

After your shower you dried your hair just enough that it wasn’t dripping on everything, you put on your favorite pair of skinny jeans and one of your numerous band tees, you grabbed your phone and slid it in your front pocket and left your room to go to Bucky’s.

You knocked gently and waited for him to let you in. You heard some shuffling around and finally the door opened, your best friend now standing in front of you. He waved you inside and closed the door behind you, going back to sit on his bed where he had been sitting before you knocked. You followed and sat with your back against the headboard on ‘’your’’ side of the bed.

‘’That was a long training you had with Nat.’’

You shook your head slightly and chewed nervously on your bottom lip, only letting it go to speak.

‘’No, it was actually cut short. We had an emergency meeting.’’

He frowned, yet curious to know what was happening. Emergency meetings meant that someone, somewhere was doing evil things. Very evil things if the Avengers were needed.

‘’They found what they believe to be Hydra scientists somewhere in Russia… They need a small team over there in two weeks.’’

You avoided looking at him, instead focusing on your hands that played with the hem of your shirt.

‘’Who’s going?’’ He asked hesitantly, though he had an idea from the way you were acting.

‘’Nat… Steve…’’ You trailed off.

‘’And?’’ He encouraged you to finish.

‘’Me.’’ You sighed.

He turned to sit facing you.

‘’Don’t you want to go?’’

‘’I mean it’s my job, I don’t mind going…’’ You shrugged.

‘’Then why do you look like someone just took your puppy from you?’’ His eyebrows raised in confusion.

‘’We’ll be gone for 4 to 5 days… Maybe more, depending on how it goes.’’

‘’That’s not that long, it’s not even a full we- oh.’’ Understanding why you looked so sad.

‘’Yeah.’’

Neither of you spoke for several minutes.

Bucky was going to be completely alone for possibly an entire week, Steve would be gone and you would be too. Just the idea of not having Steve, but mostly you, around made his heart beat faster with sheer panic. You weren’t taking the news very well either.

You kept avoiding looking at him and he hated that. Not because he found it annoying, it was his one way of always knowing how you were feeling. You knew that, hence why you didn’t want to look at him.

He crawled on the bed, on his hands and knees, until he was right in front of you. He leaned closer to you, burying his face in your neck, propping both of his hands on either side of your hips to keep himself from falling onto you and kissed the skin of your neck over and over again until he felt you relax.

He leaned back, just enough to be able to look at you. You were looking at him, it brought a smile to his face. You were still chewing on your bottom lip nervously.

Putting most of his weight on his left hand and raising his right one to cup your cheek, he stroked it tenderly with his thumb a few times then swiped it against your bottom lip, pulling gently on it with the pad of his thumb until you finally let go of it.

It was slightly swollen from the not so gentle assault of your teeth. Bucky moved his hand to hold your chin and brushed his thumb again on your bottom lip, as if he was trying to make it feel better.

Thankfully, he was too busy focusing on what he was doing to notice that you were barely breathing, overwhelmed by the feeling of having him so close and touching you the way he did. It wasn’t the first time he did either of those but this time felt different.

‘’You need to stop doing this, before you hurt yourself for real.’’ He looked up to your eyes.

‘’I know, I know.’’ If it weren’t for his thumb, you’d probably start biting down on it.

He kissed your forehead and moved to sit next to you; letting go of your chin.

‘’It’ll be ok.’’ He took your hand and squeezed it gently.

The week after the announcement went by like usual, sticking to your new found routine. It all came to a stop early this morning.

When you woke up, Bucky was already gone. The bed was cold. It was weird that he was gone but it was also weird that you hadn’t woken up when he did. You moved to get out of bed and felt that there were pillows where Bucky was supposed to be. Probably why you hadn’t woken up.

You went to breakfast, he wasn’t there. You went to the gym, he wasn’t there. You went to the room you usually went to read, he wasn’t there.

While you were looking for him, you ran into Steve.

‘’Hey toots.’’ He grinned at you, pulling you into a hug.

‘’Hey Stevie.’’ You smiled.

‘’Are you excited to go on a mission with me?’’ He smirked. ‘’Just so you know, there’s only one correct answer to this question.’’

You laughed and rolled your eyes.

‘’Of course I’m excited. It’s been a while since we spent some time together.’’ You looked down, knowing it was your fault.

You were so wrapped up in your ‘’Bucky bubble’’ that you had neglected your time with Steve and you felt horrible.

He shook his head.

‘’It’s fine. I’m happy to see that you and Bucky get along so well. I don’t really have time to just hang out and he needs someone to be with him. He’s been through a lot and he deserves to have someone looking out for him. I’m glad it’s you.’’ He smiled, trying to reassure you.

‘’Still… I feel awful. I’m sorry Stevie.’’ You hugged him again, as tightly as you could; making him laugh.

He stroked your back with his hands.

‘’You’re forgiven.’’ He kissed the top of your head before letting go. ‘’By the way, where’s Buck? He’s usually not far behind you.’’

You shrugged, biting your bottom lip then letting it go quickly. You really did need to stop doing that.

‘’I don’t know. I can’t find him anywhere.’’

‘’Have you tried his room?’’ His brows furrowed, it wasn’t like Bucky to hide from you.

‘’That’s where I’m headed.’’

‘’Say hi to him for me.’’ He smiled at you one last time and made his way back to where he had been heading when you had bumped into him.

You exited the elevator on your floor and walked towards his room, a path you knew all too well by now. You raised your hand and knocked.

‘’Jamie?’’ You waited.

Nothing.

You knocked again.

Nothing.

Something felt off.

Usually, if Bucky didn’t answer the door you just walked away but your gut was telling you to open the door.

You opened it slowly, not too wide. Just enough to be able to look inside. It was completely dark and you couldn’t see anything. He wasn't there either. Where the hell was he?

You moved to step out and close the door but something caught your attention, making you stop.

You narrowed your eyes, trying to see more clearly.

You walked in and shut the door quickly, not making any noise. You took off your shoes and walked until you were standing next to the side of his bed. You kneeled on the floor and tilted your head, staring into those blue eyes you loved so much. You laid your hands flat on your thighs.

‘’Hey.’’ You whispered.

He just stared at you.

‘’I’ve been looking everywhere for you.’’ You kept whispering.

You looked him over. The cover was pulled all the way up, ending just under his chin. He had so many pillows around his head, you could barely see him. Except for his eyes. Something was off in his eyes, the glimmer that usually makes them sparkle was gone.

‘’What’s wrong?’’ You kept your voice low, trying not to startle him.

He kept looking at you, not saying a word. You felt your heart drop in your stomach. He looked so sad. You lifted your hand and cupped his cheek gently. You stroked his skin with your thumb as softly as you could. It’s something he liked to do to you when you were worried or anxious, clearly it was something he found soothing.

‘’What can I do?’’ You asked, unsure of what he needed.

This was the first time since you met him that you had to take care of him like this. Usually, it’s the other way around. You were always so impressed by the fact that he always seemed to be in a, somewhat, good mood. You knew him well enough to know when he was lying about how he was and it happened really rarely.

This whole situation was new to you and you didn’t know what to do. You just knew that you absolutely hated to see him this way and you’d do pretty much anything to switch places with him.

Bucky had started to feel a bit off last night. He didn’t know what it was but he just brushed it off, sometimes he’d get in a bit of a bad mood but it usually always went away on its own. Especially when you were around to take his mind off of it. Except this time he woke up in the middle of the night, his heart beating so fast and so hard in his chest, he thought the whole compound could hear it. He had let go of you, being really careful to not wake you up and he sat up in your bed. That’s when he noticed that he had been sweating. Beads of sweat rolled down his temple, his cheek and then fell on his shirt. He tried to calm himself down but nothing worked.

15 minutes went by and he had contemplated waking you up but then he looked down at you and you looked so peaceful and comfortable, he’d much rather deal with it on his own than disturb you.

He got out of bed as slowly as he could, trying not to make the mattress move too much, which was a lot harder than it looked when you were a mountain of pure muscles.

He grabbed the pillows you had tossed aside before going to bed and gently tucked them behind your back; hoping it would keep you from noticing he was gone.

Using the skills he had perfected over the past 70 years of being one of the most deadly assassins in the world, he moved around you and he exited your room without making a sound and rushed to his.

Bucky spent most of the night awake, pacing around his room while his mind was racing with a million thoughts. He was having an anxiety attack. He was more than familiar with them, having your memories zapped out of your brain tended to do that to someone but then again he never had to actually deal with them. When they started, his handlers would just wipe his mind and if he was too out of control, they’d put him under cryo.

He was exhausted, yet his mind didn’t want to let him sleep. He decided to get in bed anyway, he curled up under his cover and waited, and waited and waited but nothing was working.

He wanted you. He needed you to be with him right now but there was this little voice in his head that was telling him that you probably hated him, that you were taking care of him out of pity and that he was a pain in the ass, that a full grown man should be able to handle an anxiety attack by himself. He knew it was all a lie but rationality had just been thrown out the window.

He had been so relieved when he heard you at his door but when he tried to call out to you, to get you to come in; the little voice made him shut up.

Looking at you now, he felt bad for ever doubting that his best girl wouldn’t show up for him or that she wouldn’t worry about him.

His silence only made you worry more.

‘’Are you hurt?’’

He shook his head, barely moving. You were feeling powerless and you were mad at yourself for not being able to help Bucky when he needed you the most.

Suddenly, you felt his hand cover yours, the one that was still on his cheek and he moved it to his chest, right on top of his heart. Your eyes widened when you felt his heart beat against your hand. You could also feel that he wasn’t breathing normally. Then, it all clicked. The laying in the dark, not being able to explain what’s wrong, the increased heartbeat and difficulty breathing.

‘’You’re having an anxiety attack.’’ You whispered, more to yourself but you saw him nodding.

You felt a little relief, being no stranger to those as you were having them yourself quite frequently. At least now you felt like you could be useful and you’d be able to help him.

‘’Ok, ok.’’ Your mind was racing, going through everything you knew to do to help calm him down. ‘’Can you sit?’’

You slowly stood up, letting go of him to take away all the pillows that were around his upper body. You lifted the cover and helped him sit up, making him sit at the edge with his feet on the ground. You looked around and grabbed the hair tie that was on his nightstand. With both hands, you ran your fingers through his hair a few times; pushing it all back and tying his hair as best as you could. He was still sweating and you needed to get his body temperature down.

‘’You’re gonna take a quick shower okay? We’ll get you into some dry clothes and I’ll get you clean sheets.’’

He started to panic, not wanting you to leave him alone. He grabbed your wrist, a little bit harder than he normally would but given the situation, you barely noticed.

‘’I’m going to be here the whole time ok? I’m not leaving the room. If there’s anything I’ll be there in two seconds ok? But you need to change, it’ll help make you feel better. I promise.’’

You were the one person Bucky trusted, more than anyone else, even more than Steve (don’t tell him), and if you thought that a shower would help then he would do just that.

You kissed his forehead twice then went to his dresser to get him clean clothes. You grabbed a pair of sweats, a t-shirt and a pair of boxers, leaving it all in the bathroom for him; you also started his shower for him so the water would be at the perfect temperature.

You walked back into the room and smiled reassuringly.

‘’Go. I’ll be right here.’’

Bucky got up and finally felt how tense he had been, his whole body felt sore. He walked to the bathroom, only stopping once to kiss your cheek and disappeared behind the door as he closed it.

You hurried and took everything off his bed, throwing it next to the door so you’d think of bringing it down with you when it would be time to do laundry. You went into his closet, where you knew he always kept an extra set of clean sheets, and made his bed. You took a bottle of water from the mini fridge that Tony all made you keep in your rooms, putting it on the nightstand. You sat down on the bed, waiting for Bucky to come out.

You smiled at Bucky when he finally came out,you handed him the bottle of water and watched him drink most of it before lifting the blankets for him and covering him with them once he was under them. He was about to completely lay down but his hair was still wet, so he decided to tie them up again before resting his head on his pillow.

He tried laying on his back but he was too uncomfortable, he went back to lying on his side; the same position you had found him in.

‘’Do you want me to put the pillows back around you? Were they helping?’’

He shook his head and started blushing furiously.

‘’No…’’ His voice was raspy. ‘’I was just-’’ He sighed, embarrassed by what he was about to say. ‘’I was hoping they’d feel like you were the one holding me, hoping it would make me feel better.’

Your heart almost burst at how adorable he was being. Your cheeks were suddenly very hot.

‘’Well, I’m here now. Just tell me what you need.’’

‘’I don’t know what I need.’’ It almost came out as a whine, he was exhausted and annoyed. He just wanted for his body to calm down and let him rest. ‘’You. I just need you.’’

You quickly moved under the covers and hugged him from behind, your whole body resting against his back. You wrapped your arm around his middle and squeezed him gently.

‘’Does that help?’’

He nodded. You smiled and got closer, if it was even possible. He put his arm on top of yours and your hand, intertwining your fingers together. He lifted both your hands and brought them to his chest, right above his heart and held them there.

You rested your forehead between his shoulder blades, closing your eyes.

You stayed like this for about an hour, only moving when you pressed kisses on his back every now and then.

You were thinking that Bucky had fallen asleep, not being able to check if he really did. You were surprised to hear him talk.

‘’Baby?’’

You tightened your hold on both his body and hand instinctively, your body being on ‘’must protect Bucky’’ mode.

‘’Jamie?’’ You said to let him know you were all ears.

‘’I don’t want you to go.’’ He whispered, his voice breaking at the end of his sentence.

Your heart shattered in thousands of little pieces.

As always, I hope you liked the new part. Let me know what you think and if you'd like there to be a part 5 (I hope that you do because I have enough ideas for a few more parts). Thank you all so much for the love you've given the 3 other parts of this story. Your likes, comments and reblogs make me smile every single time!! + I add to repost the chapter because it wouldn't show up in the tags and it was bugging me. Sorry if you've seen it already.

Taglist: @mcu-thoughts | @n3ssm0nique | @ohmyendlessdays (it won't let me tag you) | @scentedprofessorcolormoney |@fangirllife98 If you want to be added to the taglist let me know!

[tweedlydumbtweedlydoo]

Traumatized | Bucky Barnes x reader

Requested by anon / Summary: You get kidnapped and when Bucky finds you, you’re traumatized from being abused the entire time. 

A/N: Hope you like it! xx I started this a while back and finally finished it today. 

Usually I’m all for the bad ass reader, but I’m gonna change it up to a completely terrified/innocent reader. She’s technically not an avenger but is a part of the team working with Bruce and Tony on some high tech inventions.

!! Warning: mention of blood, cuts, torture, ptsd 

Also, I am not into technology at all. So, if there’s some misinformation in there, please just move along and continue reading :)

! Warning: talk of abuse/torture, blood, traumatized reader 

Tag list is at the end. Let me know if you want to be added xx

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********************************************************************************************NOT MY GIF, CREDIT TO OWNERS

!! Warning: mention of blood, cuts, torture, ptsd

“Hey has anyone spoke to y/n today?” Bucky enters the shared common space of the Avenger’s tower where Nat, Steve, Wanda, & Vision were, “She said she was going out to grab a coffee and a quick walk around the park, but she’s not back yet and I haven’t heard from her.” 

“She’s probably still at the park.” Wanda answers, moving a chess piece. Her and Vision were currently enticed in a game of chess. 

“You know how she is. She probably found some ducks to feed.” Steve chuckles. 

“yeah, maybe.” Bucky mutters, not completely convinced. You’d left earlier this morning and it was now entering the early afternoon hours. So, you should have been back by now. 

“Where’s Tony and Bruce?” Nat asks, shifting the subject. 

“Working on some new high tech.” Steve shrugs, “I didn’t understand a word after that.” 

“Wasn’t y/n supposed to be working on that with them?” Bucky takes the seat next to Steve at the table. 

Nat furrows her eyebrows, “Yeah.. Maybe she’s down there with them? She probably went straight to work with them after she got back from her walk.” 

Bucky nods, Nat’s probably right, “Yeah she probably did. She was all excited last night talking about the new tech her, Tony and Bruce had been working on. She said it’s almost done.” He finally lets the worry of not talking to you go. You were most likely in the zone with Tony and Bruce and usually the outside world disappeared. 

~ 

incoming video chat, Mr. Stark do you accept? F.R.I.D.A.Y asks. 

“I accept.” Tony continues his work with Bruce, not thinking much of it. Probably something to do with Stark Industries, “Yeah try that-” 

“Ah Mr. Stark, it’s been a while.” 

When he turns his attention to large computer screen, he’s met with a man who looks vaguely familiar but can’t picture where he’s seen him. “And who are you?” 

“It doesn’t surprise me that you don’t remember me.” The man sighs and steps back from the camera, showing the full view of the room. You were practically hanging from the ceiling, your hands pulled tightly together above your head and your feet barely touching the concrete floor below you. There were 5 other men standing near you, large guns in their hands and what looked to be masks over their face. 

Tony drops the tool in his hand, “What the hell is this?” 

“Oh now you want to pay attention!” The man comes to your side and a whimper escapes your lips as he holds the gun to your cheek, dragging it along your face and using it to push your hair out of the way, “I knew she would catch your attention.” 

Tony and Bruce exchange a look, “You realize you’ve just kidnapped someone very close to the Avenger’s and that means it isn’t going to end well for you,” He rounds the table to get a closer look at the screen, “So why would you be so stupid to kidnap her?” 

“Because she got what I didn’t.” He yanks your neck back by your hair, causing you to yelp.

“Who? Bucky? I don’t think he is into men.” He sarcastically replies. Deep down he’s actually very worried for your safety but choosing to be sarcastic in a time of danger is a way he copes. 

“Not Bucky.” The man seethes, “She got that position with you at the Avenger’s Tower. You three are working on something very high tech and I want it. I deserve it! And I’m going to get it.” 

“Then you probably should have tried to walk into the Avenger’s tower to take it. Not kidnapped one of our assistants!” 

“Oh I plan to get it out of her.” He taps your head with the gun, “She knows everything, everything about the tech you’re working on and she’s going to tell me. Even if I have to torture it out of her.” He smirks. 

You try to speak to beg tony, to beg someone to save you from this, “Tony please-” You were terrified. You weren’t trained to take torture and you knew this wasn’t going to end well for anyone, especially you. You were only an assistant to Bruce and Tony and Bucky’s girl, but you knew things about the avenger’s and about all the tech Bruce and Tony were working on. You could be the person to bring down the Avenger’s and the man knew that. He knew exactly which person would get him what he wanted. 

He ended the video chat. F.R.I.D.A.Y informs.

"Where’s the location of the video coming from?” Tony asks F.R.I.D.A.Y and Bruce who had been trying to pinpoint the location as well. 

There’s no clear location. 

“It’s bouncing off different wifi connections, there is no one location.” Bruce looks to Tony, “We’re blind. We have no idea where they have her.” 

~ 

Tony calls the team in for a meeting, calmly. He doesn’t want to panic them, especially Bucky because his judgment will be clouded by his love and attachment to you. He probably would destroy the city trying to find you. 

“What’s this about Tony?” Steve asks as the avengers fall into the room and settle in their seats. 

Tony clears his throat, “We have a problem.” 

As Bucky looked around the room there was one person missing, you. “Where’s y/n? I thought she was working with you two.” 

“That’s what I’ve called this meeting about.” Tony turns on the screen and there is a screenshot from the video chat of you and the men. 

“Oh my god.” Wanda gasps. 

“Is that-” Nat asks. 

Bucky swallows the lump forming in his throat, “Y/n.” 

“We received a video chat from this man here earlier. It’s unclear what the hell he even wants,” Bruce begins, “First it was anger for y/n getting the position he didn’t, then it was wanting the high tech we were working on. Y/n is close to the Avenger’s and she knows a lot of things; important information that could be used to bring all of us down. She also knows all information on that new high tech device we were working on. He’s planning to use her to get what he wants.” 

“She’s not.. She’s only a civilian.” Wanda says, “She’s not trained to hide information. To endure that kind of torture.” 

“Which is why we have to find her asap.” Tony says, glancing at Bucky. 

Bucky clinched his hands in anger. He knew how torture worked and to think of you in that position... “You mean you two don’t know where he has her?” 

“We have no idea.” Tony nods, “The man was good. He’s using different wifi signals which means there’s no pinpointing one location.” 

“We’re looking for her blind.” Bruce says.

Another video request, Mr. Stark. 

“Accept it, F.R.I.D.A.Y.” Tony turns to the screen to see the same man, but this time you’re in worse shape. Your clothes are dirty and torn; your shirt wasn’t covering anything; There was blood dripping down your cheek. 

“Ah all the avenger’s are here this time! What a treat.” The man smiles, “Including Bucky. Aww.. if you should know your little girlfriend here has been begging for you.” 

Bucky stands quickly, the chair screeching along the floor, “I’ll kill you. Don’t you fucking touch her!” He gets closer to the screen. 

“Oh we already have.” he chuckles, glancing at you, “You want to see your little boyfriend? He seems very worried.” Pulling the video closer, you can see the avenger’s staring back. 

“Bucky.” You whimper, “Please..” 

“Shh.. doll it’s okay. We’re going to get you out of there, okay? Just stay strong for me.” His heart breaks to see you like this and there’s absolutely nothing he can do, “I love you, y/n.” 

The video pans back to the man, “how adorable. Not!” He chuckles, “I just wanted to show you what she looks like one more time. Once we’re done with her, she won’t look the same.” He smooths out your hair, “This girl here is very tough but she’s given us some valuable information.” He sighs, “But it’s just not enough yet,” His hand grips your hair and yanks your head back earning a yelp of pain from you. And with that he ended the call once more. 

~ 

It took Steve, Nat, Sam, and Tony to hold Bucky back from leaving the room. He didn’t know where he would be heading, but that didn’t matter. He was going to tear the city apart to find them, to find you. 

“Let me go!” Bucky thrashes against Steve’s tight grip. 

“Buck, we have to be smart about this!” Steve reasons, “We don’t know where she is!” 

A screenshot from the video is put on the screen, “This is the only thing I could capture.” It’s blurry and you can only see half of the symbol but all the Avenger’s recognize it, especially Bucky. 

Bucky calms as he stares at half of the symbol, “That’s.. That’s an old HYDRA base.” It was one step closer to finding you. 

“Do we know which one?” Wanda asks. She was on standby near Bucky in case they couldn’t contain him. 

“Shield took care of all the bases.” Tony says, “Or at least they thought they did. However, it was hard to determine if the ones destroyed were the only ones.”

Bucky’s gears are shifting as he tries to remember his time at Hydra. He tries to think of anything that could have been said to give off some kind of clue. “It had never been used but there was talk about a base on an island north of Russia. It was a backup in case HYRDA was compromised.” 

“That has to be where they are keeping her.” Nat speaks up from beside Steve, “Where else would there be a HYDRA symbol on a wall? Unless someone painted it but..” 

“It’s worth checking out.” Sam says, “There are only a handful of islands north of russia that a HYRDA base could be built.” 

~ 

The last island the avengers check turns out to be the correct one. Using Stark tech, they find out there is 10 guys inside and then another body in a room that they assume is you. They find a place to land the quinjet without the men noticing. 

“We can’t go in there guns blazing.” Sam grabs Bucky’s arm as he’s about to storm out of the quinjet. 

“Sam’s right.” Nat says, “We have the element of surprise and we need to use that to our advantage so that y/n doesn’t end up getting killed in the crossfire.” 

Bucky knows they’re right, but you’re right there in that building. He sighs and nods, “What’s the plan?” 

The plan goes right and within minutes the men are taken out. Bucky was the one to kill the leader for what he’d done to you. Bucky takes off toward the room and when he enters, you’re curled in a ball on the bed.

“Y/n?” 

You look up at your eyes go wide, pushing yourself back against the wall to put as much distance between you and Bucky. You couldn’t even recognize your Bucky. “Please.. please no more.” You whimper, “I’ve told you everything!” 

“It’s me... it’s bucky.” He takes another step closer to you, but it results in a scream from you.

“Please! I can’t take anymore.. I can’t!” You sob with a shake of your head. Your whole body starts to shake with fright. You couldn’t take anymore torture, anymore pain. You were passed your breaking point and you’d already came clean about everything, but that didn’t stop the torture. 

It’s like you don’t even recognize him and his shoulders slump with defeat, “Y/n.. please..” He starts toward you once more and that’s when Nat grabs his shoulder, “she doesn’t recognize you.” She motions to Wanda who uses her power to practically put you to sleep in a calming state. 

It’s then that Bucky can see the damage they did to you. Blood, cuts and bruises all over your body. You’re filthy with dirt and your hair is a mess. You’re only in a ripped t shirt and undergarments. He’s gentle as he picks up your body. 

“She’s asleep.. she can’t feel anything.” Wanda tells Bucky after seeing his careful hands.

“She’s.. covered in these marks..” He holds you against his chest and Nat takes another look at you, “Electric shock. They electrocuted her.” 

He follows behind the rest of the avengers toward the quinjet. He kisses your head, “You’re safe now, doll... I’m here.” 

~ 

It had been almost a month and you hadn’t spoken a word. You wouldn’t speak to anyone, not even Bucky. The doctor’s informed the avengers you’d been traumatized and that it might take you a while to get comfortable again and that it was best to give you time. You’d gone through a lot and you needed time. 

But it was hurting Bucky not to be able to hold you, to comfort or kiss you during this horrible time. He wanted to be there for you, but the closest he could get is watching you through the window on the door. You would start start screaming when anyone from the Avenger’s team came in. Recently you let Nat inside without screaming, but you didn’t say a word to her. 

He could hear your screams from the nightmares and it pained him not be able to hold you in his arms. It was something you did with him when the nightmares would return in the night and you were the only thing that could calm him. He just wanted to be that for you. 

However, one night he couldn’t help himself. You just continued to scream and cry out like you were in pain and he decided that was it. He needed to see if you were okay. He needed to be there for you.

He ran into your room to find you thrashing around in your bed having a nightmare. He rounded the bed to your side, “hey hey, it’s okay.” He shook you awake and your wide eyes met his. “It’s okay...” He waited for the screams to start once you saw him, but they didn’t come. Maybe this was a good sign. He started to back up toward the door in case this turned bad with you. He didn’t want to push it with you. 

Your eyes filled with tears and you didn’t move. The two of you stared at each other for the longest before you spoke the first words in a month, “Don’t go.” 

Relief flooded Bucky’s body and he had to hold back tears, “I’m not going anywhere, doll.” 

You made yourself comfortable in bed once more, turning on your side. Bucky didn’t want to push his luck and decided the chair by your bed would be a good place for him. 

You made sure he wasn’t going anywhere and then let your eyes close. He stayed there in that uncomfortable chair the rest of the night while you slept. You didn’t have another nightmare that night. It was like your mind knew you were safe and you could finally let yourself go. You were safe and he wasn’t going to let anything happen to you again and when you finally realized that, you let Bucky back in. 

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[buckystevelove]

My Brightest Star

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Word count: 2708

Warning: ANGST and fluff

A/N: This is my longest work. Please leave comments. Ask, submissions and requests are open.

A week, that’s how long has passed since Bucky’s world felt apart. He should have known, his whole life has been full of tragedy, one after the other. He had 7 years of happiness and peace, he will have to come to terms with the fact that maybe those years would be the only ones in his long and sad life that he would known what real and complete happiness really is.

He met you 7 years ago in a coffee shop, you accidentally tripped and spilled all your coffee in him. You apologized over and over again, Bucky couldn’t care less about the hot drink splatted all over his body, he was so enthralled over the beautiful woman standing in front of him, for years he thought that he would never get love, but you managed to prove him wrong. He claims that it was love at first sight, he simply knew that you were his soul mate.  

After the incident, you bought his coffee as a symbol of forgiveness, though he really didn’t care. You exchanged names and phone numbers. Just a few hours later you received a massage from Bucky, inviting you to go for dinner the next day. Soon, one date turn to seeing each other every time you could. You felt for him, and hard. Eventually you met all of his friends, you became a great friend with Wanda and Nat. They would invite you to all the girl nights they had. You got along with Sam, always joking around and making pranks, same with Tony. You also became best friend with Steve, you had a strong relationship with him besides yours with Bucky. You too were like siblings, he always claimed that you were his little sister, and warned Bucky never harm you, or he would have to face the consequences.

Nobody was surprise nor bother when you moved to the compound with Bucky. Everyone was super exited to have you closer, that made Bucky a bit jealous.

You and Bucky were attached to the hip. One year into your relationship, he knew that he was going to marry you, you were going to be the mother of his children. He wanted to spend the rest of his life with you. You were the one, so he asked you to marry him.

It was so beautiful, he took you on a trip to the museum, your favorite place to spend the time. When you were in the sculptures room the kneeled and said; “YN, since the moment I saw you I knew that you were the one, I knew that I was going to marry you, and all you have done is prove me right. You are the love of my life, my partner, my best friend I can no longer imagine a future in which you are not in it, because YOU are my FUTURE. You have been the light at the end of the tunnel, you have brought me happiness, love I thought I no longer deserved after all the awful things I had done, you helped name realized who the real James Buchanan Barnes is, and who I want him to be. I want to be your husband because I love you so much. You are my entire world YN. So, would you marry me?”

At the end of his speech both of you had tears in your checks, you throw yourself over him and said yes over and over again, you were beaming.

6 months after that, many hours of planning and cake tasting, you and Bucky had the most beautiful fall wedding. It was perfect. Your family and the team was there, everyone was so happy for the two of you.

When the time to say the vowels came you couldn’t be more thrilled, you have been writing them for so long.

“James Buchanan Barnes, you are the love of my life. You have been the one who has taught me what love really is, what it is like to love someone with every single atom in my body. You have taught me what is like to be completely and uoughterly happy, that is how I feel when ever I am with you. James, when we met you told me that you only saw yourself as a monster, as the vilan of many people’s lives, but baby, you are my knight in shining armor, you are absolutely everything to me. You are the brightest star in my universe, the one and only. I want to spend the rest of my life with you, I want to tell you and show you how much I love you every day, I want you to feel how much I love you even after we are death. I want to keep loving you and choosing you a hundred of lives after this. Because Bucky, MY LOVE FOR YOU WILL NEVER END.”

At the end both of you were crying, among many other of your guests.

Your honeymoon was perfect. Tony paid the two of you a 3 weeks trip around Europe. Nine months later, you had your gorgeous daughter, Rebecca. She looked exactly like you, but her eyes, she had the most beautiful blue eyes just like her father. The three of you were the definition of a perfect family, you and Bucky did ocationaly fight like all healthy couples do, but your life was great. Your house was so full of love and happiness.

Bucky was so thankful to you, you had given him all he could ever dreamed for in life and more.

The three of you spent all the time you could together, you went to the park and had movie nights, went of family trips and spent lazy Sunday mornings in bed together. You wanted Becca to feel and understand what a loving home was, since you didn’t had one. You wanted her to feel the love you and Bucky had for her.

“Becca, Bucky, you two know you are the most important people in my life right. I love the two of you so so much. You are the ones that make me happy. You are my greatest treasures.” You said to your husband and 5 year old daughter one afternoon, while cuddling in the couch together.

“I love you too mommy, you too daddy. You are the best parents in the world, thank you.” She said kissing yours and Bucky’s face, making you giggle.

“You dolls are my everything. I love you.” He said before attacking the two of you with tickles, and whispering to your ear. “Thanks doll, for all this.”

The day had started like any other Tuesday would, you woke up after your alarm. Waking up Bucky with kisses and loving touches, after he woke up he heads to shower while you got Becca ready. Once the two of them were dressed, Bucky went to the kitchen to make breakfast wihle you got ready. The three of you ate together, you heard how Becca´s best friend was going to have a party next Saturday and you needed to buy her a present. You decided to go to the mall with her after classes and maybe have a girl’s day and do you nails. That made her smile so bright, which was what you loved the most about your life, that it was full of happiness.

After eating, you said goodbye to Bucky and Rebecca, he was going to take her to school and then go to the Avengers compound to train some new recruits, while you went to your office.

Bucky’s day went normal, as any other day would go, he did some training and hanged out with Sam and Steve. When 4pm came around the received a call from Becca´s school, her teacher told him that she was still there. You never came pick her up, he didn´t know why you were late. You always told him if your meeting was going to be longer so someone would pick your daughter from school.

“Sorry man.” He told Steve at the middle of the meeting. “Apparently YN never went to pick Rebecca from school she is there by herself, I really need to go. I also need to see what happened to YN. She is not picking up her phone.” Bucky said standing up from his chair.

“Sure pal, everything good with her?” Steve said a bit worry, he didn´t want his best friend to be in panic.

“I hope so.” He said walking to the door, but before he could reach it his phone rang again.

Steve just stood there, and watched how the color of his best friends face went completely white, then Bucky’s knees failed and he felt to the floor. Tears running down his cheeks, his face was shaking. He was wordless. Sentences couldn´t form in his mouth. Steve was next to him in second, he took the phone from his hand.

That when he heard him scream, he screamed as if he was dying, painful and horrible screams.

“Excuse me.” Steve said through the phone. “This is Steve Rogers. What happened?” He asked, though he already had an idea of what had happened.

“I am so sorry Sir, but I regret to inform you that Mrs. Barnes had a car accident today. She arrived to the New York Presbyterian Hospital at 2:36pm, she immediately went to surgery. She didn´t make it, she was called at 3:49pm. I am so sorry, but we need her husband to come.”

Steve hanged up the phone, he had tears in his eyes, he was about to cry. He had lost his best friend, but he needed to be strong for the man that was like a brother to him, to his nice.

Bucky was in the floor, sobbing and screaming. He went and called for Nat. She enter and saw the state in which Bucky was, then she saw the tears in Steve´s eyes.

“What happened?” She asked in panic.

“I… he…N-Nat” he mumbled between sobs. “Can you please look for Rebecca at school? Please.”

Nat realized, she immediately shook her head in disbelieve, “no, no, no,”

“Nat, please. Someone needs to be with her.” Steve managed to say. She wiped her tears and left the room.

Steve was in the floor hugging his best friend while he cried his eyes out, he was no longer screaming.

“I am sorry buddy, I am so sorry.” He said to his friend. “I know how you feel, just let it all out. But later you need to be strong for your daughter. She just lost her mother, she will need her dad. She needs you to be there for her, but now. I am here for you.”

“Not her, please not her. She is perfect Steve, I can’t, I love her, we can’t lose her.” He sobbed and screamed. “We were supposed to spend the rest of our lives together, the two of us.”

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

When he calmed down, they went to the hospital. A drunk driver had crashed against your car in a traffic light. He died immediately.

Becca slept in Nat´s room. Bucky slept in his old room in the compound, he couldn’t go to your home. Too many memories. He couldn’t face his daughter, he would broke in front of her, he needed to be strong. He cried himself to sleep that day.

He next day was awful, he needed to explain to her 5 year old baby, that her mother would never hug her again. He couldn’t even began to comprehend that.

“Becca, baby. I need to talk to you.” He said the next morning the compounds living room, all  the other Avengers were in the hospital helping Bucky prepare every detail for the funeral, Steve was the only one there, next to Bucky and Becca. In case either of them needed him.

“Daddy, why did we slept here?” She asked frowning her eyebrows, just like her dad. “Where is mommy? We were supposed to have a girl´s day yesterday.”

That made Bucky tear a few tears which he rapidly cleaned.

“Babydoll, its because…” Bucky mad a pause and looked through the windows. “Mommy had an accident, and she will never come again.”

Becca made a confused face.

“Why? Can´t you just put her a bad-aid like you do to me when I have accident?” She asked in all her innocence, which made Bucky’s strength fall. He quickly enveloped her in his arms.

“That is the thing baby, she had a big accident, she is gone.” He started to sob again, so did Steve.

Becca began to stroke her father’s hair. “We will see her daddy, someday, but I am really going to miss her.” She started to cry and hug her dad.

“I want my mommy, dad.”

“So do I honey.”

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The funeral was beautiful, full with YN´s family and friends. They all told beautiful stories and tried to remember the amazing person YN was. Bucky couldn’t talk, he had so many things to say, none of them were for this people to hear, they were for his love.

A week had passed since you awful dead, Bucky stayed at the compound, he couldn’t go home, he also needed help with Becca. He could barely managed to take care of himself.

He was in his bed, looking at the celling, numb. He know the needed to stand up and shower, he needed to get up and care of his baby, but she was the carbon copy of you. It was like looking at you, it hurt, it really hurt. Lying there he heard some knocking at his door. Then Steve came..

“Hey pal, the lawyer came today, he left the will and this letter. She wrote it you when you guys had Rebecca.”

“Thanks, just leave it there.” He said gesturing to his night stand.

When Steve left he got up and grabbed the letter, it had his name in your beautiful calligraphy.

Bucky,

My love, I hope that you never have to open this letter, but if you do, I want you to know that you made me the happiest woman alive. In all the galaxies we know that exist, in all the universe that may. I was the happiest, all thanks to you. You teached me what the meaning for being alive really meant, you showed me so many incredible and beautiful things, and you gave me our most amazing gift, our daughter Rebecca, she is the tangible evidence of our love.

If the time in which you have to open this letter comes, know that you did everything you could. Under any circumstances think that this was your fault, it wasn´t.

I love you so much Bucky, you have really no idea, and I know you loved me just as much, that is why I am asking you one last favor.

Please don´t close yourself, don´t let yourself return to the man you were before be met, not that he was any less amazing, but he was lonely. I want you to continue living your life to the fullest. I know I can´t ask you to not miss me or forget me, I don’t want that. I want you to remember my memory and cherish it. I want you to show all then wonders of the world to sweet Becca. Please never let her forget that she was the most important person in my life besides you.

I want the two of you to continue to love, and let yourselves be love. I love you with all my heart, and every single atom in my body.

          Don’t forget me my brightest star, YN.

After reading that Bucky cleaned his cheeks.

“I will always love you.” He kissed the letter and placed it in his nightstand. He got up and went to find his daughter.

“I love you baby, and so did you mother. You are our greatest creations.” He no longer had you here, so he was going to spend all his breathing moments showing her how much he loved her, he was the only part left in this world of YN, and she was that greatest gift she could have left him.

He would continue to love you long after you are gone. For ever, til the end of times.

——————————————————————————

A/N: I cried so hard writing this. I am so sorry, but I hope you like it. I really appreciate feedback.

[wicked-mind]

Once More With Feeling

Summary: When Steve brings an enhanced human with the ability to sense and manipulate emotions/feelings to join the team, she has an immediate interest in the puzzle known as James Bucky Barnes. And Bucky can’t help but be infatuated with her abilities and eventually her.

Word Count: 7.8k

Warnings: Swearing, drinking, mentions of torture.

Italics are used for flashbacks/memories.

All Writings Masterlist

As always, any likes, comments, or reblogs are deeply appreciated (:

*gifs not mine

“Who’s that?” Y/N asked Sam with a smile, nodding over towards the man sitting on the patio with a beer bottle in his hand, staring off into the distance with a grim look on his features. He wore a black leather jacket that was zipped up to the collar, dark pants, boots tied perfectly, and black gloves on his hands.

“Ah that’s James. His friends get to call him Bucky.” Sam told her, tucking his hands in his pocket, “It’s a very exclusive group though. Consists of just Steve.”

Y/N looked up at Sam, raising an eyebrow, “Is that a bit of… can I call it annoyed jealousy?” She asks with a teasing smile, nudging him with her shoulder slightly, “What, you jealous you’re not Cap’s bestie or annoyed that James won’t let you be his?”

Sam looked down at her shaking his head, “Can you not do the whole reading thing right now?” He asked with a small chuckle escaping his lips.

“Sorry, it’s just radiating off of you.” Y/N said with a small laugh before looking back out the glass door to the man referred to as James sat alone, “I’m going to go talk to him.”

Sam raised his eyebrows at her, “Good luck with that, Y/N. He’s a man of little to no words. Or emotions. He also doesn’t blink very much.”

Y/N was already headed towards the door with a small smile on her lips, turning her head over her shoulder to look at Sam, “That’s alright. I love staring contests.” She told him before walking out the glass door, shutting it behind her. Y/N walked over to the small metal table Bucky was sitting at, plopping herself on the chair across from him silently. She allowed her eyes to study him. He had longer hair, almost brushing his shoulders. There was stubble covering his cheeks and chin and he constantly looked like he was deep in thought, so much so in fact that little crease between his furrowed eyebrows could be permanent. She didn’t say anything, just sat silently in the chair as she stared into his eyes.

Bucky watched the woman. He had heard they were getting a new team member but didn’t bother to get to know much about her. It was somebody Steve had found and thought could be useful to the team but he didn’t know much more than that. He looked her over as she sat, she was wearing a long sleeved black shirt with blue jeans and combat boots. He was curious about the red leather gloves she wore though, he’d never really seen anybody else besides him wearing gloves constantly. He stared into her eyes, watching her closely. What was she doing? Why did she come to sit by him when there were so many other places to be? Bucky had came out here to be alone as he always did. He liked to be alone, in his own personal bubble lost in his thoughts. There was something about sitting outside alone and night where he felt peace. Maybe being under the stairs with the breeze on his face reminded him of his time in Wakanda, he didn’t know what it was but it was his favorite moment of the day. And now there was this new team member just staring at him. When her eyebrow twitched upwards slightly as if to challenge him, he narrowed his blue eyes at her and placed the beer bottle on the table never breaking eye contact. Bucky places his gloved hands on the table intertwined and leans slightly forward, staring, almost glaring, into her eyes. But the more he just stared the more he felt… what was that? Comfort? His irritation was fading away as he stared into those eyes, almost feeling lost and mesmerized in them at this point. Once he couldn’t take the staring anymore he sighs and leans back in his chair, looking away from her and out into the distance again, “What are you doing?”

Steve had found Y/N after she accidentally helped on a mission. She had a special ability that he thought could be very useful not only on missions but just in general so he asked her to join the team or at least give it a try. Y/N had agreed and now here she was, across from the dark haired, constantly in pain looking man having a staring contest. She knew exactly what she was doing. Her ability consisted of being able to read emotions and feelings of those around her and also manipulate them if she touched them, hence why she wore the gloves. She never wanted to touch someone and manipulate their feelings without their consent because she believed everybody was entitled to how they feel and there were reasons people felt the way they do. But that all broke off when Steve offered her the job. She would be helpful on missions, being able to get enemies to cooperate with the good guys instead of being all nasty and evil. Y/N could feel the pain, the anger, the lostness but she could see that plain as day in his eyes. When he broke the staring off and asked the question, she leaned back in the chair, “Did you know there’s multiple studies that show that staring into someone’s eyes can show their true intentions to you and show if you can trust them? They also say eyes are the window to the soul, able to process other’s emotions and what they’re feeling deep inside.”

Bucky’s lips curved slightly downwards at her words. She had stared at him to get information about him, was that it? He took a sip of his beer and looked back over to her, “You could’ve just asked instead of treating me like a study. I’ve had enough of that for one lifetime.” He spat out at her but almost immediately felt bad. She wasn’t wrong, he stared into her eyes and saw nothing but openness. Even now she was being open with him, truthful. God dammit, all it took was a damn staring contest for him to have a spark of trust for her, “Who are you anyway?”

“I’m Y/N.” She told him, a small smile curving to her lips, “I’m sorry if I hurt your feelings.” She said as she stared into his eyes, letting him know she was truly sorry if she offended him, “Sam said you like to stare and I’m pretty kick-ass at staring contests. Couldn’t help myself.”

Bucky narrowed his eyes slightly again at her as she apologized to him, then looks away again as he took another sip of his beer, letting out a slight sigh, “So you’re the one Steve brought back. Why would he do that?” He said almost coldly thought he didn’t mean for it to come across that way.

Y/N shrugs, “He thought I could be helpful here and on certain missions given my abilities.” She told him, watching him even though he wasn’t looking at her.

“And what are your abilities?” Bucky asked, looking over towards her curiously before looking down to her gloved hands, “Are you missing an arm too? Did he think we could bond about it?”

Y/N almost chuckled at his words then shook her head at him with a small smile, “No, I have both arms in tact. Which now would be a good time to tell you I’m sorry about yours, must’ve been a big loss that I’m sure you’re still dealing with everyday.” She watched as Bucky looked at her almost shocked for a slight second at her words. She figured nobody must’ve told him they were sorry for what happened to his arm, or acknowledge the loss he still felt of his left arm even though it had been replaced with a vibranium arm, “I like to call myself a reader. I can sense the emotions and feelings of those around me and if I touch you, I can manipulate those feelings. For example, I can make someone feel more cooperative with a single touch. I can provide happiness. Love. There is the darker side to it though. I can also make people feel pain, feel like their drowning, feel like they’re on fire or in the deepest pit of despair.” She said, looking down at her gloved hands, “Sometimes when I touch people, I can’t help but try and make them feel better. Touching people lets me feel their emotions more personally than just sensing them. It’s an automatic response to try and help fix it but I believe that everybody has a reason for feeling how they do and they can choose need to sort through their own emotions on their own.”

Bucky swallowed hard at her words. Only one question came into his mind of her and he was halfway worried to ask it. As if she knew he was dancing around the question, she smiled over to him encouragingly and the question just sort of slipped out, “Can you make someone feel relief? Feel…. less guilty?”

Y/N bit her lip at his question, watching him for a moment before pulling off one of her red gloves and setting her hand in the middle of the table outstretched towards him, palm face up to give him the choice to touch her.

Bucky looked down at her hand, hesitating whether he should touch her or not but curiosity got the best of him. He wanted to feel some sort of relief. Sure, he had made all his amends in the notebook but that didn’t mean he felt any sort of relief, any sort of happiness or hope. He slowly took the glove off of his right flesh hand, reaching out and hovering his hand over her’s for a moment before looking into her eyes and resting his fingertips into her palm. Immediately at the touch of her skin, a slow sense of relief filled his body and he closed his eyes at the feeling. He tilted his head back slightly and his lips parted the smallest bit at the feeling he had longed to feel. It was relief and hope with no guilt anywhere in his body or mind. He wanted to stay like this forever, keep this feeling inside him even if it wasn’t truly real. He didn’t notice his hand had moved to hold her’s, gripping tightly not wanting to let go. After a few minutes, he opened his eyes to look down at their hands and quickly pulled away, “I’m sorry.. for lingering… I shouldn’t have…”

Y/N shook her head at him, pulling her hand back and putting the glove back on, “Don’t worry about it, I’m happy to help anytime you need it. I’ll help you until you don’t need me to feel relief, hope. Although, if you do come to me to for help, you do have to teach me some self defense. I pretty much know nothing and Steve says you know everything about it.”

Bucky’s lips twitched into a small smile and he nodded slowly, “Alright. You have a deal.”

Bucky stood outside the landing pad, his arms crossed as he watched the quinjet touch down. There had been a new organization that had made themselves known called the Peace Keepers. They had a mission to capture all known people with any type of superhuman abilities or those they deemed posed a threat to the rest of the ‘normal’ population. They were ruthless, kidnapping any type of enhanced human and either making an example out of them or the person was never seen again. They didn’t have very many leads so when Steve got word that a local police department in Seattle had captured one of the Peace Keepers, he immediately took Y/N and Sam with him to try and confront him. Bucky always worried when Y/N went on missions even though he had trained her well in offense and defense, she was still a human and could get hurt easily. As the quinjet bay doors opened, Bucky’s arms uncrossed at the sight. Sam and Steve were walking out shaking their heads at each other with grim looks on their faces. Bucky immediately started walking towards them at a brisk pace, his eyes scanning for any sign of Y/N. When he didn’t see her, he looked to Steve, “Where is she? What happened?” But the look in Steve’s eyes was all he needed to confirm the fear he had.

Steve sighed and shook his head slightly, a defeated look written all over his face, “It was a set up, Buck. I’m sorry, the Peace Keepers took her.”

It’s been a few months since Bucky met Y/N. He hated to admit it but he liked being around her. She could sense his emotions and knew when he just needed to sit in silence or when he needed to talk and it was comforting to know someone had some sort of understanding of what he was going through. She helped him whenever he needed whether it be someone to talk to, to sit with, or even using her ability to help him when he was feeling the worst. Y/N seemed so pure to him, like a ray of sunshine in the dark world that surrounded him. He always felt at his best when she was in his presence even if she wasn’t using her ability. He loved training with her, even if he was a little tough on her at times she never held it against him. She was a quick learner and even asked him to teach her some knife tricks after he showed her his extensive knife collection.

Tonight was a bad night for Bucky though. Every time he closed his eyes the nightmares of the Winter Soldier took over his mind. He was waking up what seemed like every ten minutes dripping in sweat and he could feel himself slowly breaking due to the lack of sleep and anxiety that riddled his body. He pulled himself out of his bed, pulling on some grey sweatpants and a black t-shirt before walking out of his room. It was early in the morning hours and he thought nobody would be up, but as if Y/N knew he needed some help, she was sitting outside where they usually sat every night waiting for him with a twelve pack of beer sitting on the table. Bucky couldn’t help but smile a little at the sight before taking a seat in the chair next to her, grabbing a beer and opening it before taking a long swig, “You waiting for me?” He asks her after putting the bottle back on the table. He had never seen so much skin exposed on her. She was wearing a tank top, no gloves, and long black pajama pants with red roses on them. He had never seen her arms before and just now he noticed she had small tattoos littering both arms, but they weren’t so much a sleeve as just randomly placed across her skin like she just closed her eyes and picked a spot.

Y/N shrugs over to him, taking a sip of her already open beer, “I figured I’d meet you out here eventually. I’m three beers in, Barnes. You got some catching up to do.”

“Bucky.” He said to her and when she looked at him sort of confused he quickly added, “Call me Bucky, that’s what I meant.”

Y/N smiles and nods, “Alright, Bucky. Does this mean I’m part of the super exclusive Bucky Barnes friend group?”

“That sounds like something Sam told you.” Bucky responds with a small smile, bringing the bottle up to his lips again for a drink.

“Oh yeah, he very much told me that.” She responded with a soft laugh, “But I am extremely honored to be accepted into the group.”

Bucky chuckles over to her, finishing the rest of his beer and setting the empty bottle on the table before grabbing another one, “One down, two to go.” He told her, cracking open the next bottle. His eyes lingered over her tattoos, wondering what they all meant to her, “I didn’t know you had tattoos.”

Y/N shrugs slightly, looking down at her own arms at the scattered ink, “Oh yeah, I mostly keep them covered up so nobody accidentally brushes my skin and gets feelings they aren’t ready to feel.”

Bucky nods, “What do they mean to you?” He asks curiously, wanting to know more about her.

Y/N looks down and points at three butterflies that were placed above her wrist, looking like they were flying up her arms, “This one reminds me that I’m free.” She moves to point to another one that was a purple iris with a date in the stem, “This is for my mom. She passed away from cancer a few years ago. She was the only one that loved me unconditionally.” She moved to one that was just the number thirteen in a fancy font, “This is my lucky number.” She looked at her other arm and pointed to a small yellow sunflower, “My favorite flower. My mom used to send me to pick wild sunflowers when my dad was home. He wasn’t a very good man.” Her eyes flickered to Bucky who was nodding each time she explained, entranced with her tattooed skin so she continued, pointing to one that looked like a human heart, “This one is to remember to wear my heart on my sleeve because I’m cheesy like that. I have a lot more but they’re all covered up right now.”

Bucky nodded, slightly smiling at the last one before noticing one she hadn’t pointed out yet. It was in the crook of her elbow where someone would put an IV but it had the red cursive words ‘fuck you’ around a large circular scar, “And that one?” He asks, pointing towards it and raising an eyebrow. All her other tattoos were cute but this one had a curse word plastered right on her skin.

Y/N looked down at it, biting her lip gently before looking up towards him and taking a sip of her beer before she spoke, “That one is for my dad. Like I said, he wasn’t a good man. He put out a cigar there, hence the scar and I decided to tattoo fuck you on it.” She said, and even though the story of her childhood wasn’t one she liked to share, she would always be honest with Bucky. Her father was a very abusive man and eventually the abuse went from only on her mother to her until she and her mom ran away to get away from him.

Bucky looked at her sadly for a moment, wondering what her childhood was like. Her father sounded evil from the bits she shared, but yet here she was all sunshine and smiles through her pain. He felt a small bit of jealousy for the way she was able to handle trauma, but mostly just sadness for her and a need to protect her from those things, “I’m sorry, Y/N.”

Y/N shrugs at him, “It’s alright. It’s a part of me that made me who I am even if it is a dark and twisted part. I like who I am now, and even if I don’t like how I got here, the best I can do is keep moving forward.” She watched him for a moment before tilting her head, “So what has you coming out here at this hour looking for me?”

Bucky swallowed dryly, bringing his beer bottle up to his lips and taking a long drink before answering her, “Nightmares have been bad tonight.” He said quietly, almost as if ashamed to seem weak as he looked down at his ungloved hands, “Every time I get to sleep I just see him. The things he did. I didn’t want to bother you so I was coming out here to find some peace.” He looked over to her, “But here you are, waiting for me.”

Y/N smiled gently over to him, reaching her hand across the table for him to touch if he’d like. As she watched him reach out his flesh hand to touch her’s, she pulled back a little, “Answer me this first, Bucky.” She said, “How are you feeling right now?”

Bucky’s brow furrowed at her words, blinking a little as he thought about it. How did he feel? Certainly better than when he first trudged out here. Talking to Y/N calmed him, just being in her presence made the anxiety and panic he felt in his body melt away. He slowly looked at her, “I feel… Better.”

“No, Bucky.” Y/N told him, shaking her head gently, “I know exactly what you feel, remember? You feel relieved. You feel hopeful. All on your own without needing my touch.” She said with a smile over towards him, watching his lips curve into a small smile at her words, “My ability may be a quick cheat to getting you what you need to feel, but what is even better is when you can feel that all by yourself without my touch.”

“I like your touch though.” Bucky blurted out before flinching at his own words.God he must’ve sounded like an idiot, “I… uhm…” He said, scanning his brain for anyway to cover that up.

Y/N chuckles and smiles at him, reaching over and taking his hand in her’s, “That’s alright. I like your touch too.” She said, “We’ve done this enough times I’ve figured out how to keep myself from messing with your emotions when I touch you. So whatever you’re feeling right now, that’s all you buddy. You’re stronger than you know.”

Bucky smiled over at her, immediately feeling something at her touch. He didn’t know what it was but he believed her when she said he wasn’t toying with his emotions at her touch. He felt warm but his stomach was also twisting. No, not twisting. He didn’t know what the feeling in his stomach was, but all he knew was that he liked it. Could this be happiness he was feeling? Happiness that wasn’t given to him by her ability, but by the way she spoke to him and touched him.

Bucky immediately lost his temper, punching his vibranium arm into a wall that easily collapsed around it and formed a large hole. Y/N had been taken. His safe place had been taken from him. He should’ve gone with them on the mission, he had tried but Steve told him they had it handled. He felt lost in guilt and anger, wondering if Y/N was one of the bodies they would find days later or if she was going to be one of the enhanced humans that were taken only to never be seen again.

“We’ll get her back,” Sam said, placing a comforting hand on Bucky’s shoulder which was quickly shrugged away, “I got redwing trying to track down the trucks they escaped in.”

Bucky turned to look at Sam, an angry vein popping out of his neck, “Oh, we are just going to rely on your stupid little mechanical bird then? Hope that it can figure shit out?”

“Calm down, Buck.” Steve said, folding his arms across his chest and stepping to stand between the two, “It’s not his fault, he’s trying to help.”

“No, you’re right Steve.” Bucky said, turning his angry glare to his best friend, “It’s yours. If you would’ve just let me come maybe none of this would’ve happened. I wouldn’t have let them take her. I would’ve protected her.”

Steve raised an eyebrow at Bucky at his choice of words, looking at Sam and giving him a nod as if to tell him that they needed a minute. Once Sam was out of earshot, he turned his attention back to Bucky, “We didn’t let her get taken. We were ambushed. It was a set up, Buck.” He said sternly, “What’s gotten into you?” His gaze softened a little bit at the look in Bucky’s eyes, “She has, hasn’t she?”

Bucky looked around, anywhere but meeting Steve’s gaze because he was right. He had developed feelings for Y/N and now that she was out of his grasp, taken away from him he was realizing everything he felt for her. It wasn’t just friendship. The night he talked to her when she showed him her tattoos and held his hand that feeling in his stomach was butterflies, a crush forming and he didn’t get the chance to tell her. Now he didn’t know if he would see her again, “She has, Steve…” Bucky finally softly said, “She’s like an angel that just came into my life and showed me how to process through things. Showed me what it’s like to have hope, happiness. Relief.” His flesh hand came up to run through his long hair, “And now she’s gone, taken. And we don’t know where or what is happening to her and I’ve never told her how important she is to me.”

Steve put a hand on Bucky’s shoulder, trying not to smile at the fact Bucky had found someone because the circumstances wouldn’t allow it. But he was genuinely happy that Bucky was doing better and vowed to himself that he would do everything to get Y/N back for Bucky, “Y/N can read your emotions as soon as she enters the same room as you. She knows, Bucky.” He told him, squeezing his shoulder gently, “And we will get her back so you can tell her. I promise.”

“I know why you’re always eating those plums.” Y/N said, looking at Bucky who had pulled a plum out to snack on after training with her.

Bucky raised an eyebrow at her, throwing the plum up in the air before catching it, a small grin on his lips, “Oh yeah? Why’s that?”

Y/N smiles, reaching out and taking the plum from him in her gloved hand and looking at it, “Plums have antioxidants to protect the brain from cell degeneration and also help with memory. I would actually be surprised if you didn’t eat them constantly.” She told him, holding the plum back to him to take.

Bucky shook his head and couldn’t help but chuckle a little at her correct answer. When he was regaining his memory, he did extensive study on foods that helped your brain and memory and plums happened to be his favorite, “You’re smart, Y/N.”

“I know.” Y/N said with a smile.

Y/N opened her eyes slowly, groaning to herself. The last thing she remembered is that she was trying to get a read on the Peace Keeper in custody before the station they were in was ambushed by many more minions of the Peace Keepers. As Sam and Steve fought them off, a man came face to face with her. They fought for a little bit before the man pressed a syringe into her neck, causing the world to fade to darkness around her. Now, as she looked around the room she was in, she noticed she was strapped to a chair with duct tape in a small cement room almost like a cell. Her attention was caught when a man entered through the steel door in front of her, tilting her head slightly. She could feel his emotions and all he exuded was dominance and power.

“Welcome, Y/N.” He said towards her, his long blonde hair was pulled back into a bun, “I’m so excited you’re here. I have such great plans for you.”

“What are you thinking about, Bucky?” Y/N asks, laying on the grass next to him as they looked up at the stars. She didn’t wear her gloves around him anymore or hide her skin which made her feel more comfortable, more herself.

Bucky’s arms were stretched behind his head, his eyes glued to the dark sky that was littered with twinkling stars, “My amends. After I came back from the blip, Steve and Sam helped me get pardoned by the government except I had to do these therapy sessions. I had a list of everybody that either used the Winter Soldier or those the Winter Soldier wronged, wanting to make amends.”

Y/N turned onto her side to look at him, studying his face, “Did you finish your list?”

Bucky tilted his head over to look at her, “I did. Feels like I didn’t though.” He told her honestly. He was always honest with Y/N. She was the only other person that was easy to talk to besides Steve.

Y/N narrowed her eyes at him as if trying to figure something out just by looking at him, “Maybe it’s because you didn’t put your own name on the list. The Winter Soldier wronged you too, Buck. Maybe it’s time to start making amends to yourself so you can truly finish your amends list. Tell yourself that you are James Bucky Barnes, not the Winter Soldier anymore, and that you would like to make amends. Maybe it’ll make you feel like it’s complete.”

Bucky stared at her in awe. How did Y/N do that? How did she saw all the right things at the right time to him like she knew what he needed to hear? He moved his right hand to reach over and grip onto her’s, intertwining their fingers with a smile before looking up at the stars, “I think you’re right.”

“Well I don’t want to brag, but I usually am.”

Redwing returned to Sam after two weeks and losing track of where the Peace Keepers and Y/N were taken which only irritated Bucky more. He wanted to go to Seattle immediately and look for her himself but just when he was arguing with Steve and Sam about it, all the monitors in the briefing room suddenly turned on and started flashing imagines of the Peace Keeper’s symbol before footage of Y/N appeared on the screen. There were people holding her and making her touch a wall over and over again, holding her up even though she looked like she was asleep and collapsing. A voice started speaking on the screens though it seemed like it had been disguised because it was so deep, “As you can see and already know, we have taken one of your team. Y/N Y/L/N. We may not have the technology or methods used to create the obedience the Winter Soldier had, but we have our own methods.” The screen changed to show Y/N being tortured in different ways, breaking down her psyche by forcing her to do things and if she refused, she was either struck or was forced into freezing cold water. They were breaking her down and turning her submissive to their will. Bucky flinched at the images, he had trained her to fight and defend herself but not how to stay strong under torture, “Breaking down the mind, spirit and soul of a being is messy, but our methods are effective. Within one week of continuous strain on her mind due to no sleep and our training, Y/N has become submissive to simple commands. By week two, she has completely bent to our will and we unlocked her abilities to make it so she doesn’t have to touch people to manipulate them. With her, we will be able to bend anybody to our will.” The images changed from Y/N being tortured to her causing them to scream in pain that they felt like they were on fire and scratch at their skin until they were ripping their own skin off, “Let this be a warning to all enhanced beings. We will find you. We will bend you to our will. We will make you our soldiers. You are dangerous and the Peace Keepers will keep you in line.” Then the screens turned off.

Bucky shook his head, “I’ve read everything on brainwashing when I got my memories back. They’re using old soviet methods as well as methods L. Ron Hubbard used.”

“The scientology guy?” Sam asks confused as to what he had to do with anything.

Bucky nodded over to him, folding his arms tightly across his chest, “They believed that if you could make someone do something as simple like only touching a wall over and over again for days without sleep, food, or water, they could break your will and psyche. Make you do anything. That’s what they did to her, making her believe her only purpose is to do what they say or there will be punishment.” Steve ran his hand through his blonde hair slowly processing the information, “So she’s basically brainwashed. Not only can she manipulate emotions but she can make people feel pain instantly without touching them now, make them feel like they’re on fire until their bodies just give out.” He looked over to Sam and Bucky, “They’re going to find more enhanced humans to do this to, use her to make them comply with their orders.”

Bucky nodded, trying his best to get the images of Y/N being tortured out of his mind and remember her as she really is. He felt anger but going on a rampage wasn’t going to help at this point, “And where do we know of that they keep a bunch of enhanced beings?” “The Raft prison.” Sam said with a sigh. He’d been locked up there before until Steve broke them out. It was an awful place but if Steve could break his team members out, the Peace Keepers and their followers sure as hell could with the help of Y/N/

“Tell me about yourself, Bucky. Not the things I know…” Y/N said as they walked along the grass, twirling a wildflower between her fingers, “Who you really were in the forties.”

Bucky had his hands tucked in his jean pockets as they walked, “Oh, darlin, you would’ve loved me.” He said looking over to her with a grin, “All the girls did. I was kind of a player.”

Y/N laughs a little, “A player, huh? I don’t think I could picture that. So you used to be cocky and confident then?”

“Hell yeah.” Bucky said to her, “I had ladies lining up just to dance with Sergeant James Barnes. Always had my arms over at least two women’s shoulders.”

Y/N rolls her eyes at him with a smile, “Alright, I get it. You were the ladies man of the 1940’s.” She said, glancing up at him, “So, ladies man, were you ever in love? A lucky lady waiting for the handsome Sergeant Barnes back home?”

Bucky squinted his eyes into the distance at the question before looking over at her with that crooked smile only she could bring out of him, “Nah, nobody waiting for me except my family. But I once spent all my money trying to win a girl named Dot a prize at Cooney Island. Does that count as love?” He asks before stopping in his spot and tilting his head down at her, “Wait, you think I’m handsome?”

“I don’t think spending all your money on a woman counts. I think that’s just called being a Sugar Daddy.” Y/N stopped her steps when he did, turning and looking at him with a smirk, “Oh like you didn’t already know how handsome you are Mr. Cocky and Confident Ladies Man.”

When Sam, Steve, and Bucky arrived at the Raft prison on the quinjet, they were already under attack by the Peace Keepers. The only thing they had on their side was the element of surprise. They had discussed a plan on the way. Sam and Steve would keep the Peace Keepers busy while Bucky tried to get to Y/N. They infiltrated quickly, taking down the vast amount of the Peace Keeper followers until the got to the detention level where the enhanced beings were kept. That was where Y/N and the leaders of the Peace Keepers were, unlocking cells one by one and using Y/N to cause them pain or make them complicit to be captured. Steve and Sam immediately went to fighting the leaders of the Peace Keepers, pushing them into cells and slamming them shut to seal them in.

One of the Peace Keeper leaders stood next to Y/N. He turned to her, “Take them out.” He ordered.

Y/N looked at him with what could be considered dead, emotionless eyes before looking to Sam and Steve, “Pain.” Was all she said and instantly, Sam and Steve fell to the floor screaming and writhing on the floor.

“Y/N!” Bucky said, kicking one of the Peace Keeper leaders into the cell before turning his full attention on her, “Stop, you don’t want to do this.”

Y/N tilted her head at him and his words, her facial features unchanging. She then looked towards the Peace Keeper leader as it to ask for permission and he nodded toward her. Y/N returns her eyes on Bucky, “Pain.” Bucky winced at the sudden pain that erupted through his whole body besides his left vibranium arm. He clenched his teeth tightly, trying to resist as every point of his body felt like it was on fire and he was being stabbed in every pore at the same time, “Y/N…” He growled out, taking slow steps towards her, “C’mon doll, it’s me, Bucky.” He groaned out, managing to get closer to her even though his body wanted to give out, join Sam and Steve who were still on the floor shaking. He managed to close the distance, using his vibranium arm to land a hard punch to the Peace Keeper leader next to Y/N, knocking him back into an open cell that slammed shut.

Y/N watched Bucky stand in front of her. His skin was covered with thick beads of sweat as he tried to resist the pain she was making him feel, “Paralyze.” She muttered out, watching his body fall to the floor.

Bucky laid on the floor, he couldn’t feel any part of his flesh body. But luckily, his vibranium arm didn’t seem to be affected by Y/N’s abilities. He reached out his vibranium arm, latching onto her ankle and pulling her down on top of him so her hands touched his skin. He needed to let her feel what he did, show her the emotions he felt hoping to ground her, “Y/N, listen to me.” He whispers out to her, feeling the paralysis start to fade when she made contact with his skin, “It’s me, Bucky. Mr. Cocky and Confident Ladies Man, remember?” Feeling his right flesh hand regain feeling, he reached a hand up to touch her cheek, “You are Y/N. Not a pawn for the Peace Keepers. You are everything good and you are as free as the butterflies on tattooed on your skin.”

Y/N shook her head at him, “No. I belong to the Peace Keepers.” She said to him softly. She was about to open her mouth again to cause him pain, but when her focus broke so did the hold she had on Steve and Sam. Sam quickly came flying in and kicked her off of Bucky, slamming her back against a wall hard enough to knock her out and fall to the floor.

Bucky was at her side immediately, glaring over at Sam, “I had it, birdbrain.” He spat out before his features softened as he brushed some hair from Y/N’s unconscious face.

“Yeah. You had all of that handled perfectly, Buck.” Sam said rolling his eyes, “She was about to twist you inside out. I saved you, man.”

Steve was busy informing the back up guards of the Raft prison on what had happened, helping them secure the Peace Keepers and the rest of the enhanced humans who weren’t in their cells.

Bucky lifts Y/N up from the cold floor gently, looking down at her, “I got you, doll. Don’t worry, I’ll take you home.”

“I like this place.” Y/N said, once again sitting with Bucky outside in the darkness of the night sharing a pack of beer as she stared up at the stars.

Bucky looked over at her curiously, wondering what she liked specifically about living at the facility. Their chairs were almost touching with how close they were sitting next to each other, “What do you like about it?”

Y/N turned her head to meet his gaze, “It just feels like home. Haven’t had that feeling in a long time.” A teasing smirk appeared on her lips suddenly towards him, “Plus I get to be a part of this really exclusive group, the Bucky Barnes friend group. Maybe you’ve heard of it? I keep suggesting we get matching jackets or something but nobody seems to agree.”

Bucky let out a laugh at her comment, “God, I’m never living that down. Thanks, Sam.” He said with a roll of his eyes and another swig of his beer, “And I wasn’t apposed to the matching jacket idea. Steve was. He said it would make Sam feel left out.”

Y/N laughed and shook her head, “Couldn’t have that.” She replies, “You may be able to fool everybody else, but I know he’s secretly your other other best friend. First best friend being Steve and the other being myself, then Sam.”

“It’s like being friends with a pigeon.” Bucky snorted, “Yeah, he isn’t all bad. Just sometimes his face does this thing that makes me mad. And he has that stupid RedWing robot he treats like a pet.”

“That thing with his face? That’s emotions, Bucky.” Y/N laughed again, “Emotions are normal. You and Steve are good at hiding your feelings, able to be stoic. But Sam wears all his feelings plain as day on his face. You can’t let that offend you, it’s just him being honest. But RedWing, yeah, I don’t understand why he treats it like a pet. That’s sort of weird.”

Bucky nodded to agree, drinking the rest of his beer he held in his left hand while his right hand subconsciously found Y/N’s intertwining their fingers and giving it a light squeeze.

Bucky looked down at Y/N who laid on the medical table. She seemed a little malnourished from being held captive for two weeks so Dr. Cho had an IV in her arm providing fluids and nutrition her body badly needed. Bucky was by her side constantly while she was under the light sedation Steve had suggested since they didn’t know if she would attack them or not. It had been days since Y/N had been brought back and Bucky was there at every moment he could be, holding onto her hand as they had done many times before. He was hoping, praying that Y/N was feeling all of the emotions he was just by his touch. He cared deeply for her, emotions he hadn’t felt in a long time since before World War II. He hoped she could feel his hope, the relief of her being here with him, the happiness just touching her made him feel… And the love he had been denying he felt for her. Bucky stood from his chair when he saw Y/N’s brow furrow as if she was about to wake up, squeezing her hand gently, “Y/N.” He breathed out to her, “Doll, you with me?”

Y/N opened her eyes lazily to look up at him, sensing his worry when she just stared at him. Slowly a smile came across her lips and she felt the relief instantly flood his body, “Bucky…” She managed to draw out though the sort of slurred from the sedation, “You love me.”

Bucky shook his head and chuckles down to her, “You felt that, huh?”

Y/N nodded slowly, her eyes slowly and lazily blinking, “I feel everything.” She murmurs out, squeezing his hand gently, “I feel honored…. Does this mean you’re gonna spend all your money trying to win me a prize?”

Bucky leans down and presses a soft kiss to her forehead, “Whatever you want, darlin. I’m pretty sure I can win those prizes first try now though.” He grinned down to her, “Rest, doll. I’ll get Dr. Cho to wean you off of the sedation.”

A Week Later

Y/N was pretty much back to normal. She had a few nightmares that kept lingering due to the torture she endured and the things she was forced to do. Bucky helped her through it, knowing himself what it felt like to forced to be a pawn and go through the haunting nightmares. He made an open invitation to his bedroom towards her, allowing her to come and snuggle up next to him so she didn’t feel alone. They hadn’t discussed what was said when Y/N came out of sedation, the whole Bucky loves her thing which made him worry and panic that she didn’t feel the same way.

Y/N and Bucky sat outside in their normal spot, sharing this time a bottle of whiskey. Their hand were interlocked and they were laughing about some story about how Steve used to have to wear newspapers in his shoes prior to being all super soldier. Then it got quiet and Bucky was staring over at Y/N, examine every feature on her face. Y/N looked over and met his gaze, “What you worrying about?”

Bucky smiles slightly, of course she felt his worry. He looked down at the whiskey glass in his hand before placing it on the table in front of them. He stood up, pulling her up with him while his other hand grabbed her glass and put it next to his on the table. Bucky kept his flesh hand interlocked with her’s, bringing his vibranium one up to gently stroke the skin on her cheek with his finger tips, “I love you.” He breathed out to her.

Y/N smiles and tilts her head at him, “I know.” She told him, squeezing his hand lightly and taking a step closer. She licks her lips, narrowing her eyes at him.

Bucky tilted his head at her, suddenly feeling overwhelming feelings of warmth flooded his body. It felt like electricity was running through his bones, enough to power cities. It was pure happiness like he'd never felt before. It was so powerful, it felt like magic, "What're you doing, sweetheart?"

Y/N's eyes flickered between his eyes and his lips, "I'm showing you how you make me feel, Bucky." She said softly to him, "Because I love you too." Bucky grinned down at her at the sound of her reciprocation of love, moving his vibranium hand to the back of her neck and pulling her face towards his, connecting their lips in a deep kiss. His tongue traced her bottom lip until her lips parted, allowing his tongue access to intertwine with hers. After a few moments, he pulled away and looked down at her with nothing but happy eyes, “You’re my girl.”

Y/N smiled at him brightly, slightly breathless from the kiss between them, “And you’re my home, Bucky Barnes.”

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Taglist: @buckypops @stcrryslibrary @bibliophilewednesday

[mcufox123]

Poofed

WandaxFemReader

Summary: Wanda copes with a life that may not have you in it.

Warnings: Devestation

A/N: This story literally is heartbreaking but in a good way I think. Let me know what you guys think!

****************************************************************************************************

You wake up suddenly to your hand being kicked. It was wrapped around your wife’s very pregnant belly as you both tried to sleep through the night. You smiled dreamily in your sleepy state as you were reminded of the twins who would be born any day now.

You and your wife were a part of the famous superhero group who saved the world numerous times. Shortly after she joined and got acclimated with the team the two of you started dating. It has now been 7 years of being together, 3 of them being married. You had moved out of the compound and were now living in your dream house in the countryside, the perfect place for your growing family.

While Wanda was able to take leave months ago as none of the team wanted your children hurt, you still went to work every day. The team promised that once they were born you would be given 3 months to spend with your family but until then “there were still bad guys out there” in Tony's words of course.

You checked the time to see you still had a half an hour to spare before you had to be at the compound. You made Wanda breakfast and set it up next to her then you got ready for your day. You showered, got changed and before you left you wrote two sticky notes to leave on your wife’s mirror. One saying, “I love you more than chocolate chip cookies.” The second said, “You are looking like such a hot mama today.” You left a kiss on Wanda’s forehead and whispered an ‘I love you’ then you went to work.

Wanda woke later that morning with a smile on her face. She saw the breakfast you set up and immediately started eating because she was starving. After her breakfast in bed, she showered before seeing the notes you left. She actually laughed out loud. Even when you weren’t home you always made her day. She sent you a quick text.

Hi my love! Thank you so much for breakfast! I love you more than tv shows!

After that Wanda went about her day normally before she got bored and decided to go to the compound. When she arrived she saw Bucky and Sam watching tv.

“Hey boys,” Wanda said as she set her bag on the counter before walking over and sitting in between the two.

“Hey Wand, how are you feeling? Do you need anything?” Bucky suddenly jumped into protective older brother mode.

“Sit.” Wanda ordered him, glaring at him. She appreciated the gesture, but she was pregnant and not handicapped.

“Yes Ma’am.” Bucky sat not wanting to make Wanda upset.

“Damn man, if she needs something she’ll tell us right?” Sam asked, turning to Wanda.

“Exactly thank you Sam.” They continued watching TV comfortably every once in a while bantering about something.

“Hey guys, where was y/n’s mission today? I usually hear from her by now if she’s going to be later than 6.” Wanda said realizing the time was now past 6 and she still hasn’t heard anything.

“I think they were in Florida today,” Bucky said, scratching his head trying to remember what Steve told them this morning. “Some mission with aliens that Carol warned them about. They’ll be fine. You’re welcome to stay here in your old room though.” He finished. Wanda thanked him before getting up to move to the kitchen, both men hot on her tail.

“Who is hungry?” Wanda asked as she started to get ingredients out for a caprese chicken dish and some pasta.

“Me, for sure. I missed your cooking so much Wanda.” Sam said, taking a seat at the counter pulling out his phone to que up some songs to listen to while you cooked. Dinner was good and shortly after Wanda went to bed in the now foreign space and begged for sleep to consume her. It was hard because she grew used to your arms wrapped around her with your face pressed into her hair. That night she didn’t get much sleep. She sent you a text letting you know she was sleeping at the compound before she rolled over and tried to shut her eyes.

The following morning Wanda woke up to a still empty bed. Now she started getting nervous, she searched for her phone to see no new messages. She took her time getting out of bed but quickly threw on the clothes she was wearing yesterday before heading to the kitchen.

As she was almost there she could hear Steve talking.

“So Wanda’s here?” Steve asked the person he was talking to.

“Yeah she came yesterday and we just told her to stay. So wait, you're telling me that these things just hit a button then poofed with Tony and y/n? Are they alive?” Wanda could now tell the other person was Bucky. She felt like she couldn’t breath, feeling the wind knocked out of her at the words she just heard. She couldn’t hide any longer and barged into the kitchen.

Her hands instantly went into a fighting position holding Steve in a tight grasp so he couldn’t escape.

“Where is she Steve? What happened? You promised me no life or death missions. You promised me she would always come back to me. She said she would never go away.” Wanda said while breaking towards the end and crumpling to the ground. Bucky went over and wrapped her in a hug.

After a few minutes Bucky put Wanda on the couch as now the rest of the team came in and Pepper with her two small children. Steve went over what happened on the mission and how they have no trace of either of their teammates. He made everyone aware that Thor, Carol, and the Guardians of the Galaxy were all in search of their friends.

Wanda felt so lost. Your twins were expected any day and you were gone. How was she going to do it if you weren’t back? How was she going to be strong for your two little ones if you weren’t there? The questions swarmed her head as she tuned out the rest of the team. After hours of talking the team now turned to their tuned out friend to offer some support.

“When was the last time you ate?” Clint asked Wanda, putting his hand on her shoulder to ground her.

“I don't know.” Wanda shook her head still thinking a million miles a minute not making eye contact with anyone.

“Wanda you need to eat. You have two other people to worry about. Y/N will be ok, she will come back.” Steve said, sitting next to her. She collapsed in tears and that was how the rest of the night went, crying and the team forcing Wanda to eat.

The following days Wanda barely left the bed. On the 4th day of you being missing Wanda felt a sharp pain in her stomach. Her eyes started to tear up from both pain and the realization of what was happening. She was going into labor without you. She screamed out in pain and heartbreak.

Steve rushed into the room as soon as he heard Wanda scream, “It’s ok Wanda we’re here, let's get you to the infirmary.” he held Wanda’s hand all the way down to the infirmary. Steve sent a text out to the rest of the team to let them know what was happening and soon familiar faces appeared in Wanda’s room.

They took shifts as they waited for the time to push. Natasha talked about the makeshift nursery they set up for Wanda, Bucky talked about how he got clothes for Wanda and the babies from Wanda’s home, Steve talked about schedules and shifts he made up to help Wanda, Sam bought stuffed animals, and Peter offered to take the babies to the playground. Wanda just sat and listened, grateful for her friends and the help they were giving her. All she could think about was how you should be there.

You should be freaking out everytime Wanda had a contraction, asking if she should get the doctor. She knew you would try to find her favorite shows on the TV and rub her back whispering soothing words. She needed that more than anything, she needed you. She needed you to be there for your twins first breath, for bringing them home, for the countless sleepless nights.

Soon the doctor entered the room, “Wanda it looks like you are ready to push,” nurses entered behind them with all of the equipment needed for the babies’ delivery. Wanda nodded trying to prepare herself for the experience that was moments away. “Would you like anyone in the room with you?” and Wanda did, she wanted you but you weren’t there. So she asked her best friend Nat to stay with her to which Nat agreed.

They got into position and Wanda endured the hardest fight of her life, childbirth. She could’ve sworn she broke Natasha’s hand from how hard she was squeezing. Soon a melodic sound broke through the pain as her first child was born. “It’s a boy!” she heard and she started to cry of joy. She had a son. The joy didn’t last as she felt another urge to push. “And we have another boy!”

Wanda was so relieved that both boys were here and healthy. You kept telling her that you could feel it was two boys, two football players, you would say. They brought the babies to wanda and laid them on her chest. Nat was quick to snap a quick photo before exiting the room to let the rest of the team know, giving Wanda a moment with her children.

Nat walked out of the room to see no one in the waiting room. She asked the nurse where everyone was who informed her that they were outside. She walked quickly outside hoping you were back. Instead she saw someone else. Tony on his hands and knees crying while the rest of the team was surrounding him.

“What? Where’s Y/N?” Bucky was the first to speak. Everyone was too scared to hear what happened, why Tony was back but not Y/n.

“I don’t know. One minute we were in a room being questioned the next thing I  know y/n lunged at the guy questioning us. She was fighting with him for the poof thing. Then after she successfully got it we realized only one of us could go back while the other had to hit the button. She didn’t even give me a second. And now, now here I am and she is there. Where’s Wanda I  have to tell her something?” Tony suddenly looked frantic.

“No, you’re going with Bruce to do everything you can to get Y/N back.” Clint said, poking Tony in the chest. “You are not doing anything else until she’s back. And you definitely are not seeing Wanda. That girl just had to give birth to twins without y/n, she’s destroyed.” Clint walked back into the infirmary while everyone was still in shock.

“I ‘m sorry. I ‘m going to bring her back.” Tony promised before walking towards the lab to get in contact with the people who were already searching for y/n.

Meanwhile Wanda was still in awe of the two boys in her arms, memorizing all of their features. She knew their names, you and her had picked out the names for all twin scenarios and for two boys it’d be Tommy and Billy. She started to hum a tune she remembered as a child. She started to get upset as she remembered the last time she hummed the song.

You had just walked in from a long day helping in the lab and training. You saw Wanda in the kitchen cooking dinner before turning to see you. She gave you the biggest smile as she came over to wrap her arms around you. Her pregnant stomach left some room between you two as she reached up to plant a kiss on your lips.

“How was your day my love?” she asked walking back to the stove to turn it off and putting the food on the table.

“I'm so tired. Tony was going on about this new feature he wants to make for the quinjet and then Nat beat my ass at training. I don't want to do anything.” Wanda sensing your mood guided you to the couch she sat then pulled you down so your head was on her lap. She played with your hair to calm you down.

“The babies were very active today kicking the heck out of me” she giggled to which you turned your face to her stomach. You placed your hands on her stomach.

“Hey you two, stop kicking mama. I  know you want to play football but you're gonna have to wait till you come out of there.”

“How do you know they’ll want to play football?” She questioned you.

“I  can just feel it in my bones.” You said as your eyes fluttered close. Dinner was long forgotten as Wanda continued to play with your hair humming the tune and you drifted off to sleep.

The following week after the twins’ birth was very hard for Wanda. She went through all the firsts by herself. Instead of going through the first night with you she went through it alone. Instead of bringing them home together with big smiles she took them to her room in the compound. Instead of introducing the twins to the team with you they were all by Wanda’s side before she could introduce them.

She spent the nights in bed. Someone on the team  was always sleeping on a cot to help her during the nights. It had been 11 days since you went missing and you had already missed the biggest week of your little family’s life.

On the 11th day Wanda left the sleeping twins with a sleeping Uncle Bucky and roamed around the compound seeing you everywhere she went. In the kitchen where you both cooked dinner for the team all the time. On the couch where you spent countless nights watching tv shows and movies. In the training room where you pinned Wanda more times then she likes to admit. Then she headed towards the lab.

She stood shocked.

Right in front of her was a man that betrayed her. A man that you had put your life in the hands of who disappointed you. She stormed at him in a fit of rage. “You son of a bitch! Where is she? What did you do to her? I'm going to kill you!” Wanda screamed at him while hitting his chest. Tony let her, knowing that this was what she needed. Wanda continued to curse him out before Tony finally grabbed her hands.

“Stop. I  get it. I'm the bad guy, and I deserve to be. I  messed up the biggest moment of both of your lives. You can keep hitting me, knock me out, whatever you have to do. There is something I have to show you first though.” Tony let go of Wanda’s hands before walking to the screen to pull up a video for Wanda.

When it came through it was you. You were sitting in a bare room and Tony was asleep on the floor behind you. Your hair was a mess and you looked exhausted.

“Friday is it recording? Yes? Ok here we go. If anyone is watching this I  probably did something stupid and I ‘m so sorry. If it’s Wanda hi babe. Man, I think it’s been 3 days and I miss you like crazy. I ‘m trying to figure out a way to get back to you and the babies I promise.” Wanda can feel the tears rolling down her face. “Well I think I have a plan. You aren’t going to like it but I promise you that it will all work out and I will come back to you. Babe I  don't have much time they are coming back. I  love you and our twins so much. I  am going to do everything to come back to you.” Then the screen went black.

“Play it again, Tony.” Wanda asked Tony and he did. She watched it about 10 more times. Just hearing your voice made Wanda feel better.

“Thank you for showing me that. Can you send it to me?” Wanda asked, keeping her eyes locked on yours on the screen. Tony nodded and Wanda walked out of the room back to the twins.

After that day Wanda had hope. She knew you would come back to her. She watched that video every night on repeat to fall asleep too. She played it for the twins and other videos of you so they could hear your voice. The team noticed the change in Wanda as well. They were very skeptical but didn’t question her mood change.

After a month of you being missing Wanda had almost given up hope. Tommy was fussy and Billy had an explosion in his diaper and it was the first time the team had all gone on a mission so no one was with her. She was crying while changing Billy’s diaper while using her powers to rock Tommy’s baby seat.

“Ah boys, it’s ok mamas here. We’ll be ok sh sh sh.” She was so frustrated she couldn’t even get the diaper on Billy. There were a few more minutes of Tommy crying and Billy and now Wanda before she heard Tommy stop. She didn’t even turn around; she figured he just fell asleep.

When she turned with Billy in her arms she was shocked to see the person standing in front of her. It was the love of her life with her son. A sight Wanda never thought she would see. You looked skinnier, tons of bruises and cuts littered your skin. Your clothes were tattered and your hair was a mess in your face. Wanda thought you still looked just as beautiful. She had Billy in her arms as she slowly walked towards you not believing her eyes. She reached up and touched your face to make sure you were there. And you were.

With Tommy in one hand you reached up with your other to place on top of Wanda’s. “Hey there stranger.” You said with a chuckle. She wrapped her arm around you and started sobbing. You put Tommy in the bassinet still holding onto Wanda then reached for Billy placing him next to his brother. Then you did the thing you had been wanting to do forever.

You held onto Wanda as she sobbed in your arms. You stroked her hair while whispering “I’m here,” over and over in her ear.

Your arms were around Wanda but your eyes were on your twins. You soon began to cry, realizing how much time you missed. Wanda pulled away when she felt something drip on her shoulder.

“It’s ok my love you’re here now. You won’t miss anything else. You’re here.” Wanda promised with her hands on either side of your face to make you look at her. You leaned down and gave your love a long awaited kiss. Both of you being grateful to have the other there to comfort each other.

You soon pulled away from Wanda to look at your twins.

“I told you two football players.” You chuckled as you picked up the other baby who you have not held yet. “Who is who?”

“That’s Billy and this is Tommy.” She said while picking up the other baby. You both made your way to the bed with the twins and got comfortable next to each other. You stared at them trying to take in the two people who were now your own.

“I’m so sorry I  missed all of it. I  tried to get back as fast as I  could. I  really did. I  thought when I sent Tony back it was going to be hours and I would be back. But I see metal man's mind isn’t what it used to be.” You rambled on. You wanted Wanda to know just how sorry you were.

“It’s ok. You’re here now and I’m not letting them take you anywhere. You’re staying with us for as long as I want.” Wanda assured you. You sat with your family for hours just basking in their presence and soaking it all in. You changed every diaper and did anything Wanda needed until she ordered you to go shower. While watching your 7th episode of grey's anatomy you dozed off with the babies between you and Wanda.

You only woke when you heard the rest of your rag tag group of friends enter the compound from their latest mission not even trying to be quiet. You turned to see Wanda still awake nursing Billy.

“Should we scare them?” You asked Wanda with a grin on your face. “You can if you want.” She didn’t feel one way or the other. Knowing how much the team helped her while you were missing.

You stood up and hid behind the closed door. It opened halfway.

“Hey Wanda how’d everything go?” Steve asked, you could feel multiple people enter the room however.

“Boo!” you jumped out to scare the team. Bucky not knowing it was you punched you in the stomach.

“Ah shit sorry y/n.” he said before recognition came to his eyes and the others. “Wait y/n?” he stared in disbelief. Nat was the first to tackle you in a hug before the others were soon to follow.

“How, how, how did you get back?” Tony asked with tears in his eyes.

“Well I  thought you would figure it out quickly once I  sent you back but that didn’t happen. I  kept waiting and finally decided to just do it myself. I  befriended another prisoner who promised to poof me back. And then when they did I  was in the training room. I  got Wanda’s text and just assumed she was still here and made my way up to her room.” They all said how happy they were that you were back. You ate dinner as a family and spent the night in your room with your beautiful wife and boys.

“Let’s go home tomorrow.” you suggested to your half asleep wife in your arms.

“You are my home.” she said and you felt warmth well up in your chest.

“I  love you so much darling.” you nuzzled closer to her.

“I  love you more.” and you both fell into a deep sleep which neither of you had had for a long time.

[thedamageofherdays]

This week's [23-08-2021 - 29-08-2021] reading log is here! I read a lot again this week and I feel like it's a lovely variety of fics. Most fics are Stucky like usual, but there's at least one other ship. I am constantly amazed by the talent people have in this fandom! There was one fic I read on Tumblr that I can't seem to find unfortunately, but when I do I'll make sure to reblog and rec it 💕

Favourites are marked with a 🌻

When life gives you lemons by moonthejedi394 @moonythejedi394 [Stucky, 40k words, Mature] (12/15 chapters available)

Or 13 Terrible Things to Do With Lemons Other Than Making Lemonade

Steve Rogers is a home health nurse. He works for an agency, which assigned him to the aging Winifred Barnes, the one and only Silent Era Hollywood darling. As her needs increased, she requested the agency assign Steve to her full-time. She could pay for it, so she got it. Steve then moved in with her, becoming her caregiver; he cooked, he cleaned, he managed her medications, he made sure she was comfortable.

Winifred's children treated him less than ideally. He was the help, after all. And then Steve had the audacity to go and turn out to be eldest son James Barnes's soulmate. No one saw that coming.

The Masseur and the Assassin by buckybarnesdeservestobehappy @buckybarnesdeservestobehappy [Stucky, 17k words, Explicit]

Bucky Barnes needed a vacation from his job. What he found was a happy ending.

The Words Breathe by buckbarnesdeservestobehappy [Stucky, 1k words, Mature]

All Steve has to do is keep his promise. When he doesn’t, Bucky gets mouthy.

Soft by this_wayward_life @wayward-lives [Stucky, 2k words, Explicit]

The last time he'd seen Bucky he'd looked unhealthy, with pallid skin and greasy, lanky hair. Now, Bucky shone; his hair was thick and silky, his skin a deep bronze from spending so much time outside. He was softer, too; the hard muscle that used to cover him was now replaced by soft fat, his body still strong, but in a more mundane way. His thighs were thicker, his ass plumper, and when he'd pulled Steve into the river Steve had noticed the pudge on his stomach.

Seeing Bucky so happy, well-fed and shining, was a bit of a kick in the face. For all the years they'd known each other, he'd never seen Bucky so... care-free. Now that Bucky was putting on weight, his middle soft and his body malleable, it sent a bolt of arousal through Steve every time he noticed the curves of Bucky's body.

Or: Bucky put on a bit of weight in Wakanda, and Steve is Not Coping.

🌻 Revive Another Side of Me by dontcallmebree @iamthe-wo-manwhocan [Stucky, 1k words, Mature]

Steve’s never lived in a world without Bucky, and he’s not living now. It takes them a while, much too long, to get that awaited rest, a little slice of peace after the dust has settled.Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes are inseparable, history remembers. But they’re not men of the past quite yet.

🌻 imagine being loved by me by spacebuck @spacebuck [Stucky, 20k words, Explicit]

Just after 1am - a few hours after he posted today’s photo - he hears the tell-tale sound of a twitter message. Bucky grabs his phone, not checking who it’s from as he opens it because it’s probably one of his mutuals yelling at him as per usual. When he actually looks at his phone, though, it’s not Natasha

The ‘verified’ check stares back at him for a long moment before he can even bring himself to process the name on his screen. Steve Rogers is messaging him. Or, he reasons, a very good fake. The handle looks right though, not that Bucky knows. Not that Bucky has Captain’s America’s tweets set up as notifications, or that Bucky’s own display name is set to captain america’s bitch. Not at all.

Hey, the first message says. It’s Steve.

🌻 JB’s Complete Lube Services by dixons_mama @dixons-mama [Stucky, 3k words, Explicit]

People just didn’t approach Captain America and proposition him. Although, sometimes Steve wished they would; even the pinnacle of virtue and justice needed to get dicked down from time to time.

Or, the one where Steve has the hots for a mechanic and decides to be proactive in getting that dick.

If it had to be someone by rainbow_nerds [Stucky, 1k words, Mature]

Bucky had known since he was a child that he didn’t have a choice in who he married, but he’d thought he had more time before the day arrived.

Miscalculations by christywantspizza @christywantspizza [Ransom Drysdale/Reader, 6k words, Explicit]

Ransom tries to get you to sleep with him by less than honorable means. You give him what he wants, just not how he wants it.

How to Seduce a Writer by obsessivereader [Stucky, 2k words, Teen]

What's a determined master strategist going to do when the oblivious writer he's trying to woo keeps missing all the clues?

He doesn’t think it’s because he hadn’t signaled his own interest to Bucky. He’s pretty much done everything short of hitting Bucky over the head with semaphore flags by this point. There’s no way Bucky could’ve missed them. Unless… There’d been that one link he’d stumbled upon when he’d googled ‘how to talk to a writer’. It’d been written by a writer, who’d been candid about how oblivious writers could be, and how someone could go about seducing one. An idea starts to form. It’s ridiculous, but at this point, he’s willing to go with ridiculous, since subtle wasn’t getting him anywhere.

🌻 Pod Bless America by Deisderium @deisderium [Stucky, 6k words, Teen]

Bucky can't believe his favorite podficcer recorded his newest fanfic AU of the show Commandos. He's even more surprised when the customer who busts him listening to fic while he's working in the office supply store turns out to be that podficcer.

* The guy—maybe bi_shield?—took his phone, looked down at the screen, and smiled. "Yeah, that one's mine," he said with no evidence of embarrassment. "It was a good one." He handed the phone back to Bucky.

"I wrote it," Bucky croaked.

take a bite by wearing_tearing [Stucky, 7k words, Mature]

"I’d never let anyone freeze to death.” Steve gives a big sigh and flutters his lashes. “All that blood gone to waste.”

Bucky’s lips turn down and his nose scrunches up a little. “I want to be grossed out, but…”

“But you get it.” Steve gives him a pointed look. “Vampires aren’t the only ones who can appreciate how juicy blood is.”

*

Or: Vampire Steve saves newly-turned werewolf Bucky from a snowstorm.

Leaving the Shield Behind by BuckyAboveEverything [Stucky, 6k words, Teen]

“So, on one hand, we have Steve Rogers - hunk, genius, animal lover. Buys you waffles and overpriced coffee. 100% wholesome all-American boy.”

“And, on the other hand, we have Capsicle – twink, smart-ass, fanboy. Reads your stories and sends you fanart. Possibly a pervert or a serial killer.”

Bucky groaned.

“I am 100% certain I am 0% sure of what to do."

Bucky Barnes, full-time copywriter and free-time fanfic writer, struggles to choose between two equally-attractive suitors, only to find that he doesn’t have to after all.

* Based on a true story *

Cap's Book Corner by Neche [Stucky, 2k words, Teen]

Recluse Author Bucky Barns stumbles into fanboy Steve Rogers bookstore one day...

Cat Nap by galwednesday @galwednesday [Stucky, 8k words, Teen]

Objectively, losing the Bucharest safehouse and its contents was the least of Bucky’s problems. The balding agent he’d seen directing the raid was apparently affiliated with SHIELD, which was a shadowy government agency that made representatives from other shadowy government agencies suddenly remember urgent appointments when Bucky tried to bribe, threaten, and otherwise shake them down for information on what the hell SHIELD might want with a former brainwashed assassin. Dodging SHIELD should be his number one priority.

Subjectively, he wanted his fucking cat back.

at any given moment by honeypuffed [Stucky, 1k words, Teen]

Steve and Bucky find out that everyone thinks they're sleeping together.

Brought to Brightness by eyres [Stucky, 10k words, Teen]

Army veteran Bucky Barnes has fallen in love with Steve, a guy he met online a few months after he returned from Afghanistan. Only problem is, he doesn't know Steve's last name or even what he looks like.

When his sister helps him send his story into MTV's Catfish, he's hoping they can help him meet Steve or, at least, let him move on with his life if Steve isn't real. Little does he know, Steve and Captain America have more in common than just a first name.

🌻 Nokken Wood by leveragehunters @leveragehunters [Stucky, 10k words, Teen]

When Sam's friend needs a house-sitter for his place in the country, Steve jumps at the chance. Six months rent-free to do nothing but draw and paint and wander the countryside, looking for inspiration? It was like a dream. But when he gets lost in a storm and nearly falls into a pond he starts to rethink the whole like a dream aspect of life in the country. And when a red-eyed, sharp-clawed, silver-fanged creature rises out of the darkness, Steve is one hundred percent certain the dream's morphed into a nightmare.

...until it gives him a cup of tea.

(Inspired partly by this prompt a supernatural creature is supposed to scare you but instead it gives you a cup of tea and a blanket because you're having a bad day and you keep coming back and partly by this painting.)

Professional Pride by galwednesday [Stucky, 700 words, Teen]

Bucky is having a very good day, until he turns around and finds himself face-to-face with Captain America.

“Oh shit,” he blurts before he can stop himself, and Captain America blinks at him. “Hey, hi, I didn’t expect to see you here.” Here, at New York’s Pride parade, surrounded by thousands of happy screaming people wearing rainbows and sometimes not much else. What is he doing here? Is he on guard duty or something? Was he just on a mission and happened to be passing by on his way back?

He’s in uniform but with the cowl loose around his neck, so when he rubs the back of his head it fluffs up his matted hair. “I, uh. I saw one of your–temporary tattoos?” Captain fucking America says, like it’s a question.

The A-bridged Guide to Trolling by galwednesday [Stucky, 1k words, Teen]

“I don’t have any money.”

Oh no, now the girl looked upset. Her eyes were huge and her lip was wobbling. Bucky tried to think fast despite the oh shit oh shit oh shit looping through his head.

“That’s okay,” Bucky said gently. “I don’t need money. We can figure out another kind of toll.”

The girl frowned at him. “Like what?”

Bucky scratched his head, trying to think of something a kid was certain to have on hand. “Do you know any jokes?”

(Fantasy AU in which Steve is a hedge witch with a green thumb, Bucky is a bridge troll who's new in town, and knock-knock jokes are a viable form of currency.)

It's a bittersweet ending (if you know what I mean) by relenafanel [Stucky, 1k words, Teen]

“I’ll see you around, Steve,” Bucky answers with a smirk, moving away from the counter with a wink.

Steve watches him go. Bucky’s wearing a pair of skinny jeans coated in something to give the appearance of leather. It’s impossible to not watch him go.

stuck on you by wearing_tearing [Stucky, 5k words, Teen]

“Bucky? You don’t look so hot.”

Bucky makes a tiny little sound in the back of his throat, only to start coughing. Of course he doesn’t look hot. He’s sick and he’s dying and Steve obviously isn’t attracted to him.

Decision-Making in Relationships (Paid Research Opportunity!) by castiowl [Stucky, 8k words, Teen]

Clint looked thoughtfully at the flyer. “I guess your actual roommate wouldn’t be down with it?”

Bucky frowned. “Have you met Steve Rogers?”

no way out but through by hollimichele [Stucky, 9k words, Teen]

Steve never sees it coming.

you got blood on your hands (and i know it's mine) by nighimpossible [Stucky, 3k words, Teen]

Bucky refuses to see Steve after his deprogramming.

Like What You See by daisymondays [Stucky, 8k words, Teen]

For all the time Bucky’s spent fantasizing about meeting Captain America, he’d never imagined it would be while posing nude in front of a drawing class.

🌻 A Real Boy by itsnotbleak [Stucky, 5k words, Teen]

It took the Winter Soldier three weeks to remember that human beings needed to sleep and eat.

It took Steve far too long to realise the Winter Soldier was sleeping in his bed.

Amapola by chaya [Stucky, 830 words, Teen]

Total fluff. Bucky's recovering nicely. Steve's oblivious. Sometimes it's best to set aside subtlety for action.

Knocking Boots With Sugar by buckybarnesdeservestobehappy [Stucky, 4k words, Explicit]

In between summers at college, Steve Rogers wants a new adventure beyond his lonely life in Brooklyn. He ends up in West Texas working on a dude ranch where Bucky Barnes is a long-time employee. When Bucky offers to buy Steve a drink, they end up drunk on tequila and making out in public. For the rest of the summer, they're inseparable. As the summer draws to a close, Steve realizes he doesn't want to leave.

Rogers and Associate by roe87 @jro616 [Stucky, 7k words, Teen]

When they first meet, Bucky is a hooker and Steve is a cop. She's been arrested, but Steve lets her off.

Years pass and they maintain a casual friendship, seeing each other out on the streets most nights.

Though he later makes detective, Steve loses faith in the system and quits his job.

He wants to set up as a private investigator, and he asks Bucky if she'd be his assistant.

Just in time by rainbow_nerds [Stucky, 1k words, Mature]

Bucky knew the apartment he was renting was old fashioned, but walking in the front door and finding himself transported back to 1938 was not on the list of things he had prepared himself for.

🌻 You Like What's in My Head by dontcallmebree [Stucky, 15k words, Explicit] (with art by @kocuria)

Bucky can’t decide if Steve’s a tough nut to crack or incredibly easy. The timbre of his voice, a low and almost amused, “Sure, kid,” when Bucky asks for a drink feels like something gripping him on the back of his neck.

He thinks this might be one of those moments in life he’ll pinpoint in the future and either curse at for dooming himself, or remember fondly with pride.

He’s right. Bucky Barnes blunders through falling in love with Commander Rogers and tries to find a deeper meaning behind the expensive gifts and thorough fucking.

Can I Sit Here? by BuckyFrickenBarnes [Stucky, 962 words, General]

Bucky has unusual methods for getting rid of his writer's block.

Or, Bucky needs that table.

Workplace Romance by BuckyFricken Barnes [Stucky, 1k words, General]

Bucky is under the impression that his boss hates him.

Or,

Steve needs to get better at dealing with his feelings.

🌻 1-800-MAYTAG by Miss Plum @misspluckyplum [Stucky, 1k words, Explicit]

Bucky just wants to get some housework done. It gets out of hand fast. Silly little fluff and smut romp with snarky stucky boys.

Eyes of the Forest by Lordelannette [Stucky, 7k words, Explicit] (2/8 chapters available)

When Omega Bucky Barnes comes to Eagle Lake, it was in search of wolves, a creature that had not been seen in the area for decades.

What he finds instead is Steve Rogers, a handsome, though quiet Alpha who seems to be everywhere in the forest.

[pascalpanic]

hello lovie how u doing? sorry for bugging again but I was thinking.. how about reader lil jelly of the DEAs new secretary hitting on Javi but he's not giving a shh and reader go to the office for a visit with cinnie and kisses javi like out of nowhere and he gets ?????? and she's suddenly shy

Covetous (Javier Peña x f!Reader)

Summary: see above

W/C: 2.1k

Warnings: jealousy, flirtation, language and innuendos

A/N: HI I hope this was what you’re looking for!! I hope it’s clear enough that reader is insecure and not demonizing Javier or Luisa... you’ll see. Enjoy!

Javier naturally attracts attention. You’re not quite sure what it is about him that does- or rather there are so many things about him that you don’t know which one it is. Is it the tight shirts that show off his broad shoulders and thick arms? His commanding aura? The sex appeal he radiates like humidity on a hot Colombian morning?

You love him more than anything. How can you not? He gives you all of his love, and expects nothing in return from you. His love is a passionate and all-consuming one; Javier fears commitment, but once he’s in, he’s all in. He’s the strong and silent type, but he melts with you, allows himself to be soft and gentle.

You know Javier would never do anything to hurt you. He can, has, and will go out of his way to protect you, especially with the danger of being the DEA agent’s girlfriend. That doesn’t lessen your anxiety, the fear that some poor judgement lapse on his part will lead to a broken heart. You know the man’s past. You’d be lying to say you weren’t a little scared.

When he started mentioning Luisa, you’d brushed it off and frowned. Javier is an adult. He can be friends with whoever he likes. Plus, she works with him. He can’t exactly ignore her. You didn’t know much about the woman other than the fact that she was young and pretty, as Murphy had told you. She was intelligent, a skilled worker as their receptionist. The only reason you had to dislike her was the little demon inside your head named Jealousy. Hell, you’d never even met her.

Javier mentions her in passing, just something she did at work or something funny she said. Never anything to be suspicious, and you know deep down that your Javi would never do something like that. He’s a good man, he loves you. You know it’s irrational, that you have no reasoning at all, but you can’t help but feel insecure when he talks about her.

Javier works ridiculous hours. He doesn’t have time to do much other than work and work and come home to you and do more work on the couch. He loves you for that more than anything: you understand it. You understand the busy hours and that he doesn’t often have the energy to do much when he gets home. You just sit next to him and quietly rub his shoulders, pressing kisses to his skin while he grinds out some paperwork. You don’t always understand what he’s doing at work, but your outside perspective often offers valuable ideas. You’re not just a girlfriend to Javier, but more of his partner. You are his other half, his comfort and relief and love in his hectic life.

If he’s being honest, Luisa bugs the shit out of him. She’s a smart girl, really, but her job is not as an agent. She likes to think she is, but she doesn’t have the training or knowledge to do so. She’s a go-getter, and Javi admires that, but it’s just another problem on his endless pile of them.

The most annoying thing is her flirting. Javier is no stranger to flirtation, obviously, and in any other situation he’d love to play along; she’s pretty and funny and a good conversationalist, but Javier, of course, only has eyes for you. He’s given her signs to back off, clearly, but she hasn’t picked them up. He’s tried to be more blunt, but nothing works. She is dead set on Agent Peña, and she’s a determined little thing.

You don’t visit Javier at work often. It’s rare that you get the chance, since you’re busy yourself. Usually, you’ll coordinate a day with Connie to bring lunch for the boys and sit with them for a while. They obviously both enjoy it, other than the mockery they receive from the other men when you leave. You love doing it, preening under the attention of your boyfriend and laughing at his annoyance with the other men. You’ve been there enough to know some of the other agents, and you know plenty about them from Javier’s annoyance at them at the end of the day.

Planning a day to surprise Javier at the office is fun. You usually do it when you know he’s extra stressed, when he could use the diversion and a little break in his day. That’s why you decided on it last night. Connie has the day off, and she insisted she’ll help you cook something to bring into work; Steve has been a mess lately too. They need it. She was right.

With a fresh tray of cookies out of the oven, you sigh and climb onto the couch to knock on the ceiling. You rap three times; moments later, two come back in response from Connie. It’s easier than using the phone, Connie suggested one night while you and Javier steadily got the Murphys drunker and drunker. It was funny to you at the time, but she was right. You smile remembering it as you put some cookies into a container and walk out of the front of the apartment building.

Connie is in a cheerful mood today. It’s probably because she has the day off; normally, she’d be asleep at this hour, thanks to long night shifts. She chats with you as the two of you drive to the embassy together, humming along to a song on the radio. She tells you all about Steve, the latest recipe she found, her new favorite grocery store. You smile and nod, mind elsewhere. Her blonde head bobs along to the rhythm as she finds a spot and parks.

You are irrational, you remind yourself as you walk in. You know and trust and love Javier. Luisa is nothing to worry about. Then why do you have a painfully tight grip on your container of cookies? “Hey, you’re gonna crack that,” Connie chides and swats your hand. “You okay, babe?”

You shake your head and smile it off. “It’s nothing. Guess I’m just excited,” you chuckle and loosen your grip on the cookies, though your spine is rigid as a board.

There’s a desk and at the front sits a woman, slightly younger than you, writing something in a book. She looks up when she hears the two of you enter through the lobby deeper into the building. “Hola. Soy Luisa, bienvenidos. Necesitá-“

That’s Luisa? She’s sweet, you frown. You’ve been all worked up over this? She’s cut off when Steve walks past. “Woah, hey ladies,” he chuckles as he sees the two of you. He wraps an arm around his wife and kisses her forehead. “To what do we owe the pleasure?”

Connie shrugs, beaming up at her husband. “We just thought we’d bring you lunch.”

“I made cookies,” you offer weakly, holding up the tupperware. You’re surprised it isn’t shattered into plastic shards on the ground by now.

“Hell yeah,” Steve smiles and snatches the cookies from your hands. “Luisa, this is my wife, Connie.”

She nods. “I could tell,” she chuckles, gesturing to the blonde hair and blue eyes. Who else would she be around here? “And you are?” She asks, turning to you.

“Ah, that’s Peña’s girl, remember?” Steve says for you, which makes you breathe a sigh of relief.

Her smile becomes tight-lipped and passive-aggressive. “Ah, yes. Wonderful to meet you,” she tells you, turning back to her books immediately. “Steve, you will show the women back then?”

He nods. “Thanks, kid.” He steals a candy from the jar she keeps on her desk and leads you back into the bullpen. He and Connie talk about their days, and you trail behind, nervously tapping your fingers against your sides. Now that you don’t have the Tupperware to clutch, you fidget until your heart warms at the sight of Javier. He’s hunched over his desk, shoulders straining against his tight shirt. He’s rapidly banging out a report on a typewriter, and your smile becomes a little bittersweet with how hard you know he’s working.

He’s a jumpy man, but scaring him is your favorite thing in the world. You hold a finger to your lips to the Murphys, telling them to be quiet, and they nod in agreement. Silently padding up behind him, you cover his hands with your eyes. “Boo,” you squeal.

“What the fuck?” Javier jumps, rapidly pulling the hands off his eyes and spinning in his chair. His hand hovers over his weapon, but his anxiety fades when he sees it’s you. “Hijo de puta… cariño,” he smiles softly, laughing a little. “What are you doing here?” He asks as he stands, pulling you into a hug.

His face is all the reassurance you need, his smile and his arms squeezing you making you grin. “We brought you lunch. Wanted to surprise you,” you tell him as you break away, adjusting the collar of his shirt. “Got a spare minute?”

He sighs and sits back down at his desk. “Can you give me five? I need to finish this report then I’m all yours.”

“Fine,” you sigh teasingly and kiss him on the head. While he types, you and Connie set up the desks, arranging chairs and plates on top of piles of cluttered papers. Javier’s handwriting is messy, you notice as you look at a folder of information, but legible. Hurried but still nice, looping and arcing.

“Hey,” Javi booms playfully and startles you, snatching the folder from your hands. “That’s classified.”

“That’s about as classified as your dick is to the Colombian population of women,” Steve snorts.

“Stephen!” Connie gasps and scolds, smacking his arm.

It doesn’t matter. You and Javi are laughing, falling onto each other and giggling at the joke. Steve sniggers under his breath, trying to avoid Connie’s wrath from the rude joke.

Straightening up, you take a sip of your water and try to collect yourself, though you’re still chuckling softly. “Does this mean you’re done?” You ask him hopefully.

Javier sighs and signs the bottom of the paper. His signature is beautiful and classy: J. Peña. “Now I am,” he smiles at you and tucks the file away in a desk drawer. “What did you bring us to eat, hm?”

The four of you converse over the meal, waving forks around aimlessly to make your points. The Murphys talk on their own, chatting about plans for the night. The meal is clearly finished and Javier cracks open the container of cookies, winking at you. You know he loves them, adores the little fluffy things. You smile and snag one from the tupperware before he can. He frowns. “I wanted that one.”

“Poor baby,” you tease and cup his face, taking a bite from it.

There’s the clacking of heels on tile approaching before you hear it: “Agente Peña!” a feminine voice sings. You roll your eyes, completely missing the way Javier rolls his too. “Javi?” She asks as she gets closer, about to round the corner.

God, you can’t stand that she calls him that. He’s only Javi to you and the Murphys, to those who love him. Your rational brain is far out of the window, possessed by jealousy as you do the only thing you can to, what, stake your claim? It doesn’t matter. Javier won’t be mad with the tiniest bit of affection. Your other hand cups Javier’s face too and you kiss him.

He’s used to kissing you. The two of you do it all the damn time. He’s just not a big PDA man; never has been. He prefers to keep his passion in private. But he doesn’t care, and cares even less when he knows Luisa is watching. He kisses back, rolling your chair closer to his and cupping your face too.

Luisa huffs at the sight. “Guess you’re busy,” she scoffs in English.

You break away only to find her walking away, and you can’t help but smirk. At least now she knows that Javier is truly committed to you, if she even caught a glimpse of the way he kissed you back. “What was that for?” Javier asks.

“Because I love you?” You chuckle and kiss him one more time, soft and quick.

He knows exactly why you did it. He doesn’t ask again. “I love you too, cariño,” he chuckles and rests his hand on your thigh.

-

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[xneens]

thank u, next (ft. loki) - part two

Warnings: angst, swearing, jealousy, mentions of sex, violence

Word count: 5.7k

Summary: A mission goes wrong, leaving you stranded with the two men who despise each other, competing for your attention.

Or: In which Steve breaks up with Sharon after realizing how much he loves you, only to be put on hold while you spend time with Loki.

Tony kept glancing at you, his eyes narrowing as if he was trying to figure out what kind of mind manipulation Loki had hexed you with. Natasha was torn between proud and shock. Clint had been positive it was a prank on his behalf until he had learned it was true, the archer studying you, wondering if you were under Loki's influence. And Bruce—well, he still couldn't get over the shock to actually word his opinion.

Steve, on the other hand, wasted no time blaming Loki, accusing him of using his magic to manipulate you into bed. When Thor has came back with news that Loki hadn't—with Heimdell being all knowing and watching—it had made Steve go to Fury, who had shown emotion on his face other than boredom and disappointment. Yet the surprise wore off and the director found it not relevant as the issue had not broken one of the rules Loki had agreed to.

The super soldier had hit the gym in a hurry, pounding the sandbag, probably wishing it was Loki. And Thor, like everyone else, it took him time to process it but unlike everyone, he barely gave it a thought. With word from Heimdell, knowing that his brother wasn't planning anything to harm you or the others, he was at peace with the situation as long as it was two consenting adults.

As you sat in the conference room, waiting for Steve and Loki to show up for the meeting, you wondered why he thought it was okay to overreact to something so...normal. People have sex, he must've known that you weren't any different. And unfortunately, Fury has picked the same day to spring a mission on the team, forcing all of you into a room, not caring about the act you committed with Loki.

Loki came in first, dressed in his usual black color, a suit almost identical to the one he wore the day before. Even from across the room, you could easily spot the hickeys he kept, a bunch peeking out from under the suit. It had given you a sense of pride and embarrassment, going down on the God of Mischief.

He caught your eye, the corner of his lips turned up, twitching without their permission. Loki wouldn't admit it out loud but he liked you to the point of sacrificing everyone in the room to save the one decent person who hadn't judge him. Everyone had turned to look at him, following his every move whilst he moved to the empty seat besides you.

The one that everyone knew was Steve's. Yet, no one said a word, secretly enjoying the show.

"Greetings," he said curtly, nodding once to everyone with an expressionless face. They all nodded back to him, Tony covering the smile that was trying to force itself on his face. Loki turned to you, sitting down in Steve seat as he gave you a smirk, amused by your attempt to cover up his marks. "Hello, angel."

The nickname alone wanted to make you want to ditch the meeting for a dick appointment with the Asgardian, the name slipping from his tongue. The same name he had whispered into you ear as he thrusted into you. Instead, you gave him a small smile, unconsciously rubbing your thighs together. "Hey."

Loki noticed the motion, his smirk widening. Pulling the chair closer to your own, his arm leaning up against yours. Leaning in, he put his lips to your ears, ignoring everyone's stares, including his brother's. "Your attempt to cover my hard work is very amusing, love."

"Loki..." you warned, using the same tone you had last night when he teased you too far, wishing for release. There was a twinkle of mischief in his eyes. "Shut up, not everyone has magic."

"All you have to do is ask, although I prefer to see them on your skin." Loki whispered, not caring how many people team members had subconsciously leaned in, straining to hear what the raven-haired God had to say.

Before you could answer, the door opened, Steve and Fury entering. The super soldier had an exhausted look on his face while Fury kept his emotionless facade up. Steve started walking towards his seat, so distracted by the uncovered hickeys on your neck to notice it had been taken. The blond did a double take, seeing Loki in his chair. If it wasn't for the barely contained anger in his eyes, you would've bursted out laughing at his comical expression.

The team stayed quiet, their eyes glued on the silent war between the two men. Loki nonchalantly looked up, his lips brushing against your hair as he pulled away, smirking at Steve. The silence was broken by Fury's tired sigh.

"Well, hello, Captain." Loki sneered, not having any intention of getting up. Steve's eyes stormed with anger, a tick away from letting loose. The God of Mischief pointed to the chair across from you, the one next to Tony, giving the super soldier a pointed look. "You should take your seat."

Tony muffled a snort at Steve's scowl, yet America's Sweetheart didn't move a muscle, glaring at Loki. Fury rolled his eyes, taking a deep breath. "Rogers, take a seat next to Stark. Loki, stop being an asshole. Back to business."

Steve followed Fury's order, sitting down besides Tony, his angry expression turning blank, waiting for whatever Fury had to say. Yet, his eyes still looked murderous, often glancing at the lack of space between you and Loki. Tony didn't hide his amusement, biting back a laugh, and trying to focus on whatever Fury was saying while the rest of the team kept looking at Steve, expecting him to reach across the table and punch Loki back to Asgard.

"While you agents were partying, drinking all your problems away, SHIELD got a tip from an undercover agent." Fury started, sliding your folders across the table, giving you something to look at other than the tension between Steve and Loki. You opened the folder to find pictures of blood-covered bodies. "Normally, we wouldn't bring the Avengers into a mafia-related crimes but this one's different.

"The Chinese Mafia is after a USB flash drive, one that we suspect, contains secrets that could bring down the American government. Emphasis on could; SHIELD isn't that well informed on what exactly the flash drive holds." Fury continued. Looking at you, he called your name. "Along with Rogers and Laufeyson. I'm assigning the three of you on the mission. You'll get the mission details as soon as Agent Hill gets here. The rest of you are irrelevant. Everyone go away now."

He left the room before anyone could even move a muscle. The team glanced between Loki and Steve, trying to figure out what they felt. It was clear neither of them were too happy about going on a mission together but the photographs of dead bodies made them bury their resentment down, for the sake of the government and all, but mostly for your sake.

Tony cleared his throat, trying not to burst out laughing. "So, Cap—"

Steve called out your name, standing up from his seat. "Can I talk to you for a minute? Alone? It's urgent."

"Yeah, sure." you said, following him out the door without looking back at the rest. You didn't notice the way Loki oozed with madness, his eyes deadly. Steve led you away from the view of room, stopping in the middle of a private hallway. It was secluded enough, yet Steve kept fidgeting like someone was listening. "Steve, I know you aren't particularly fond of Loki but he's a good—"

"I broke up with Sharon." Steve blurted. You stopped talking, your mouth open from your earlier words. The blond ran a hand through his hair. "I broke up with her last night, just before the party started ... before you walked in with Loki."

"That's not what it looked like."

"I was trying to be her friend, just like I'm trying to be yours." Steve explained, almost begging. "I never got the chance to apologize for hurting you. When you came back from Asgard, it had been too long for me to even mention it without it being awkward. So, I didn't. I wanted to but you didn't want to spend time with me anymore. And that's my fault, I'm not blaming you for being hurt. I understand what I did was so selfish, and wrong. It was wrong and if I could go back in time, I would've never done it."

You closed your gaping mouth, a little surprised by the apology. Rocking back on your heels, you awkwardly looked everywhere but at him. "Okay, um, thanks?"

Dejected, Steve nodded, his head hanging from the lack of sympathy in your voice. "Yeah. I wanted you to know. That's what I was coming to tell you this morning, but instead found you in bed with .... him."

"Uh," it was all you could say. Clueless of how to respond, you started to back away slowly, like there was a bear coming towards you. "Okay. So ... I'm gonna go. Get prepared for the mission or whatever. I'll see you later."

Before he could utter another word, you walked away,  feeling completely numb by the news. There was a part of you that wanted to forgive him, another part was feeling satisfied for his pain, and the last was confused. If he had been telling the truth—breaking up with Sharon before the party—then why hadn't he told you or apologized when he came to talk to you? It made you question whether he was just jealous or genuinely sorry for hurting you.

You weren't ready to forgive him yet, not after he made you doubt your self worth. Thor had made you feel better when you had came to him, showering you with golden gifts, shoes, and brotherly love. Despite popular belief, Loki wasn't that much different than his brother. Yes, he wasn't a people person, but he was gruffer, rougher, meaner...sexier. He knew what it was like to feel unwanted, feeling the need to show how powerful he was. If you had been in his situation—and you practically almost were if it hadn't been for Natasha—you would've taken the same road he had.

Speak of the devil, you bumped right into him, his chest only covered by a black silk sweater. With all the heavy thinking you hadn't realized you had walked back to your room. Gathering your thoughts, you looked up at his blue eyes. "Shit, sorry."

"Are you well, angel?" Loki asked, genuinely concerned. He had heard every word Steve had said, and to Loki's dismay, they had all been true. Loki hated Steve as much as Steve hated him, Steve had a reason and so did the God of Lies. The main reason? You.

You nodded, seeing how your room was messy. Books and blankets were on the ground, a broken glass scattered on the floor near your bedside table, a lamp covered in feathers, and last night's clothes strewn around the room. "I'm fine. But my room isn't, holy fuck."

With a wave of his hand, Loki cleared the room, the disastrous mess cleaned up before your eyes. He gave you a smile. "There. Director Cyclops wanted me to inform you and Sleeping Beauty that Maria Hill is in the building. She's ready if we are."

"Great. One thing before we step out this room: be nice."

"I'll try."

—

The mission was far easier than you originally thought. It was less than 24 hours, meaning you wouldn't be trapped in a designated safe house with them, or would you be in any kind of trouble. Just like Fury had said, it was an extract mission. Get the flash drive, get out.

Unfortunately, we'd be forced to go to a gala, one of those unnecessarily fancy parties where the champagne was watered down and the men showed how powerful they were with girls clinging onto their arm. It was a pre-kidnapped Tony Stark kind of party. Thankfully, you had more than a few practice with walking in heels.

The two men were able to put their hatred aside to focus on the job, Loki's magic still restrained even with the urgency of the mission. Maria Hill had filled you in, giving you all the details, the layout of the building, and all the places they suspected the drive to be. The plan was to fly to Hong Kong, get dressed for the party in the Quinjet, attend the gala long enough to find Zhang Wei, and run with the USB flash drive. Simple enough.

The flight from New York to Hong Kong was tiring, even with the eight hour slumber you had, finding yourself in Loki's arms once again. Fortunately, Steve hadn't seen you with Thor's brother, knocking this time and finding you alone, reading the mission file for the millionth time. He had smiled, probably happy he didn't see Loki in your room. That smile didn't last, dropping as soon as he stepped in the Quinjet, greeted Loki and saw the quick smile you sent the raven-haired God. It tugged on his heartstrings; you used to smile at him like that.

At least they kept their snide comments to themselves, only sending the other a glare when you weren't looking. As soon as you looked up, a slightly perplexed expression would come on their face, like they were trying to think of a word that rhymes with orange. Yet, you didn't dare question it, leaving the topic alone and quietly stewing in the testosterone-filled aircraft.

When the Quinjet finally reached Hong Kong, you had already changed into your formal wear. Loki didn't have to move to change his clothes; instead he used his magic, making him look presentable in a blink of an eye. Steve had frowned on that, but decided to let it go considering he had a lot to make up to you. Getting into a fight with your ... whatever Loki was, would not be a great start.

Getting ready for the party had been easy, the dress fit you just right, your hair being in the mood to cooperate, and even your makeup was flawless. The reaction from Steve and Loki certainly didn't help your ego, their comical reactions to your beauty had been amusing and slightly embarrassing.

Steve's mouth has hung open, his jaw unwilling to close while he stared at you. "Wow. Y-you look gorgeous. Wow."

"Truly breathtaking, love." Loki added, licking his lips in appreciation. If there was one thing both he and Steve could agree on, was the way you always turned heads. If anything, Loki wanted to make you his goddess—he just didn't want to admit it to himself just yet.

And since you were too emotionally invested, you took the easy way out and rolled your eyes. Dressed in their tuxes, they looked like they stepped out of a Hugo Boss ad. "Thanks. You guys clean up well."

Steve was too busy admiring you to notice Loki pull out a diamond encrusted ring, not exactly a engagement ring from Jared but one of those rings you get with friends during a drunken girl's night out. Loki stepped up to you, bringing your right hand, placing the ring on your index finger.

"The ring ... goes well with your dress." Loki explained, watching you stare at the ring he had placed. Steve's wonderment has turned sour, a little sad by the gesture. "It was my mother's."

"Loki," you gasped softly, knowing the how special their relationship had been. Thor had explained how Loki spent most his childhood with Frigga, spending his time learning magic, being a mama's boy. With Frigga dead, Loki must've felt some resentment to those dark elves that had been responsible for her death. "I can't— I can't take this."

Loki shrugged, brushing away a stray hair on your cheek. "Yes, you can. You will. It looks beautiful on you. Don't you agree, Captain?"

To be completely honest, Loki had forgotten Steve had existed until his heart faltered at the mention of Frigga. Steve didn't like the way the ring looked like it belonged on you, almost like it had been made specially for you. He nodded, agreeing with Loki once again. "Looks beautiful."

Before it could get any more awkward or embarrassing, an alarm had sounded, the noise saying you from any further feels. All three of you moved to the front, seeing how you hovered a few feet off the landing spot assigned for the Quinjet. With the many SHIELD headquarters, it wasn't a surprise they had in Tokyo just as modernly technical like the one in New York.

The limo ride that took you to the party was tense. Maybe it was the mission that was about to go down, or that awkward moment in the Quinjet. The navy blue, floor-length dress was silky, the fabric soft against your skin. The one-inch straps that came together at the back of your neck accentuated your cleavage, brining them to look bigger than they were. It clung to your curves, but not tight like the dress you had worn the yesterday. This one was far more elegant.

Wrapped in your thoughts, you hadn't noticed when the limo had stopped, the crowded building to your right. The doors opened, both Steve and Loki reaching out a hand to help you out of the limo. Taking them both, you snaked an arm around both of theirs, letting others know you had two dates. You thought the red carpet leading to the entrance was a bit much, even for the Chinese mafia.

Two suited men opened the double glass doors, revealing the fancy gala. Dangerous men and mafia families filled the large room, eyes flickering to your entrance, widening when they realized who had entered. They knew your dates, but SHIELD had made sure to keep your place on the team a secret for missions like this one. No criminal would trust an Avenger, but they might be dumb—or arrogant—enough to be manipulated by a "mole" in SHIELD.

The talking stopped briefly, only to turn to hushed murmurs before they continued as they had before. Both Steve and Loki turned down the campaign, not trusting whatever was put in the liquid. Looking around the room, there was nothing out of the ordinary, well, for a party held by a mafia of course.

"Should we proceed as planned?" Loki confirmed, surveying the room as he tried to find his own target. He locked eyes with the man he needed to distract while Steve and you would sneak away and find Zhang Wei and the flash drive.

Steve nodded, slyly touching his earpiece hidden by his growing hair. You had no idea how Tony convinced him how to grow it out but you were going to thank him later. "Yes. Keep in contact and check in every ten minutes. Be careful."

Loki nodded, heading off to his target but not before giving you a reassuring smile, tiny enough for no one else to notice but it was enough to ease your worries. Yes, he's an all-powerful god but that didn't mean he couldn't die.

Turning to Steve, you smiled at him, almost naughtily. Eyes twinkling with evilness, you hold out your free hand, challenging him with your eyebrows. "Would you like to dance, Stevie?"

You've never seen so much fear in someone's eyes come in such a short time. Steve's contained so much fear you were worried he was going to combust. "Um, I d-don't really know how."

"Why, that's a shame, Captain." a man behind you said. Turning around, you found yourself only a foot away from the mafia leader himself, Zhang Wei. Steve's jaw clenched at the unprepared confrontation. Zhang turned to you, holding his unnaturally thin hand out. You could see the bones through the thin skin, shivering at the sight. "Would you like to dance, darling?"

Taking the opportunity, you nodded, taking his hand, hoping Steve would get the hint to not look so stiff. "I would love to."

Zhang took you to the almost empty dance floor, the music starting as soon as his foot hit the designated area. Smiling maliciously, he tugged on your waist, pulling you close for a proper dance. "You look beautiful, my dear. I'm certain your date is jealous I stole you away."

"He doesn't mind." you answered, returning the smile. Glancing at Steve, you saw him glaring at the back of Zhang's head, burning a hole. "Steve is rather hesitant when it comes to dancing, so, I'm sure he doesn't mind you helping a lady out."

The mafia leader's smiled widened. His eyes briefly landed on Loki, narrowing slightly at the way he interacted with his second in command. You took the brief amount of time to inspect him, noticing how much thinner he looked. With eye bags under his eyes, bones peeking through his hands, and the way his footsteps faltered ever so slightly made you realize he isn't going to be hard to take down. He may be the big bad criminal but from the looks of it, he was dying.

Zhang Wei nodded. "You look familiar. Have I seen you before?"

"I'm an escort. You may or may not have seen me on a bunch of powerful men's arms." you lied, flashing him your most charming smile. Zhang raised an eyebrow, gesturing towards Steve with a tilt of his head. "Steve's the same, poor baby was too shy to ask anyone to be his date."

"Didn't think Captain America would have such a hard time finding a date." Zhang mumbled aloud. He kept the false smile on his face. "If the time came, would you tell me your name, in case I can't find myself a date?"

"Tatia Sinclair." you lied, twirling in his arms.

The mafia leader nodded. The dance floor had filled up, nearly overcrowding. It took you a second to find Steve with all the bodies in the way. Zhang cleared his throat. "What a lovely name. Tatia, darling, would you accompany me to my study? I have to fetch something special of mine and would like you pleasant company."

Steve snarled your name through the earpiece, Loki's growl following along. Again, the super soldier and the god agreed. Steve murmured your name. "Don't."

Ignoring his order—and unnecessary concern—you grinned, taking Zhang outstretched arm. "I would love to."

He led you to the elegant stairs while you discreetly turned off your earpiece, no longer wanting to hear Steve's overprotective ass grumbling about sticking to the plan. If he had checked his folder, he would've seen you were sticking to the plan, just not the way he wanted.

The walk to his office was a slow one, considering how sick the mafia leader was, you weren't surprised when he was out of breath just from climbing the stairs. You didn't comment, instead helping him out and pointing out random things a dumb escort would say. Your personal plan was to make this guy underestimate you, and with the way he was looking at you, he was convinced you were just a body with no brains.

He opened the door to his mahogany office, the room was just as elegant as the party below, oozing power and money. Zhang went to his desk, opening his cabinet. From where he left you, you couldn't see what considering how he held it in his hand without opening his palm. A knock at the door stopped you from asking.

Surprisingly his right hand man came in, the one Loki was supposed to be distracting, at least long enough for us to figure out where the flash drive was. And guessing from the amount of evidence, you were guessing the flash drive was in the mafia leader's hand. He glanced at you, tilting his head at Zhang before speaking.

They talked in Chinese--surprise, surprise--a bit fast for you to fully decipher but the gist of the conversation had been finding a safe, more guarded location for the drive considering both Steve Rogers and Loki Laufeyson were in the building, just a floor below them. The two men paid you no attention as you tried to look clueless, bored, and in all, dumb. In their eyes, you were just checking out the room when actually you had been trying to find more dirt. If it wasn't the drive in his hand, it had to be close by.

"Tatia." Zhang called out, using the fake name you had given him. You turned around, a little glass globe in your hand. You raised an eyebrow, twirling the little sphere. "Would you excuse me? I have some rather pressing issues that need to be dealt with."

And once again, the door opened before you could answer the question. This time, at the door stood Steve and Loki, a man laying on the floor between the two. From the way both their suits were a little ruffled, they had enough waiting and decided to take action. A few appeared out of knowhere, tacking the two but you were left alone to deal with the men in the room. Zhang reached under his desk, where you had discreetly took the hidden gun while they had been talking.

Zhang's second in command quickly pointed his loaded gun at you, and you at him, your eyes reflecting the same emotion: hate. The man spoke to Zhang, keeping his gun steady while Zhang tried to get away. Even for a dying man, he moved fast, leaving you the choice of shooting his second in command in the knee. He cried out, firing his gun out of anguish but you were faster, quickly following Zhang, leaving a big group of men to fight Loki and Steve. They would be able to handle it.

Running in heels was always an annoyance to you, considering how unnecessary they were on missions. They looked hot but the fact that you were forced to wear them was a little sexist. You'd have to talk with Fury about that.

The halls were lit up with chanderliers dangling from the ceiling, all of them shining brightly. For someone who had been limping out of the room, he had been fast, or was hiding but the fact was that you lost him. You could still hear the grunts from where Loki and Steve were punching the fuck out of those mafia men.

You slowed, looking at the painting-decorated walls in search of some kind of secret door, maybe a fake wall. It sounded ridiculous but at the compound, Tony had a bunch of hiding spots, a few you knew and others you didn't. It was infuriating.

The hallway must've lasted forever, and you were convinced he had vanished into thin air. Then you spotted a cracked door, it was enough to be left opened on accident, but that didn't mean it was. With caution, you walked slowly, holding your gun in front of you. With your foot, you cracked the door open, entering a room of complete darkness. From what you could tell, there were no windows, and most likely a fake safe room.

Still, you flipped the light switch on, the room lighting up with it's obnoxiously bright white paint reflecting even brighter with the light. Scanning the room, you noticed how it smelled slightly sweet, the sweetness making you slightly dizzy. You shook your head, trying to find something wrong, like a hidden wall, or maybe another escape route from inside the room.

It didn't take long for you to realize the sweet scent was toxic, the side effect making you dizzier, the room spinning under your feet. As soon as you grasped the wall for support, Zhang came from the wall beside you, the little door opening to reveal the mafia leader holding his own gun, the flash drive in his hand as he taunted you with it.

He laughed at your weakened state, aiming his gun at your heart. It triggered your fight or flight and even with the side effect, you decided to fight. He was weaker than you, slower, his aged brain not processing you running at him. His gun dropped on the ground, along with the USB drive as your hand wrapped around his neck, pushing him against the wall with all your remaining strength.

Zhang had to been immune to the fast-acting toxin while you crumbled, unable to hold your body with the dizziness and fatigue bringing you down. Taking the upper hand, he knocked you over, his fist colliding with your jaw. You grunted, pouncing for the gun and flash drive, hiding the latter in your bra while the mafia leader shook his hand in pain.

Just as you had wrapped your fingers around the barrel of the gun, you heard the gunshot, and felt it hit your shoulder. Your hand was useless, your body way too weak from the toxins to defend yourself against the man, at this point just hoping they would find the flash drive in your bra when they autopsied you.

Another bullet was fired, and this one right on your arm, the pain numb. Maybe this was the way you were going to die, but at least it wasn't painful. That was the best you could've hoped for. And then another bullet was fired, but you didn't feel it, the fire inside you too hot for you to even register the pain. You laid on the ground, eyes drifting close. Zhang dropped dead a couple of feet next to you, his head bleeding out.

Your vision had already blackened when you felt Steve knelt down to you, pulling you into his arms. You were unconscious by the the time you figured out Steve had killed.

—

You woke up to the sound of the irritating beat of your heart of the monitor, and heavy breathing. Despite the very difficult task, you opened your eyes, instantly regretting it when you were met with a blinding light. Thankfully, it went away, revealing where you were in the Medbay, laying on the stiff bed with needles pierced into your skin.

Steve got up from his seat beside you, instantly hovering over you with a worried look on his face. If you hadn't felt like shit, you would've thought his face was permanently like that. "Hey, hey. Are you okay? How do you feel?"

"Am I in hell?"

He let out a strained chuckle, taking your hand with the both of his. His furrowed eyebrows remained furrowed, his forehead filled with crinkles. "Sweetheart? How do you feel? Are you in pain? Do you need anything?"

"Holy fuck, you're spitting in my face. Steve, I feel like shit but I promise I'm fine. Come on, don't you don't have to worry so much." you replied, wishing you could do something other than lie in pain.

"You're fine? I watched you get shot, held you in my arms while you bled out in front of me. If it wasn't for Loki, you'd be dead. Don't you understand how not fine that is? What the hell were you thinking?" Steve raged, letting go of your hand to pace around the room. Judging from the lack of sunlight coming from the windows, it was nighttime, the whole compound barely lit.

"Did you find the drive? I had it—"

"Are you actually worrying about the flash drive when you almost died? Do you not care whether or not you live?" Steve blurted, throwing his hands up in the air, clearly frustrated with how the conversation was going.

"Where's Loki?" you whispered, your eyes slowly closing. You fought to keep them open, hoping for an answer and wishing you could postpone this argument with Steve until morning when you finally could argue back.

Steve calmed down, appreciating the God of Mischief a lot more when he saved your life. "He's filling out Fury on the whole situation. And we found the flash drive, which made Fury gleam with glee."

"Good." you yawned, letting your eyes close knowing Loki was safe and found the flash drive. Steve whispered something but you were already too far gone, falling asleep as soon as your eyes closed.

Loki came into the room a few minutes after you fell asleep, stepping up next to Steve who had been staring your sleeping form. The raven-haired God pulled up a chair, his eyes never leaving your face. "How is she?"

"More worried about the aftermath of the mission more than herself." Steve answered, his voice wavering for a second at the thought of losing you. The super soldier turned to Loki. "Thank you for going against the rules and using your magic to save her. I think it's safe to say you won't get into any trouble, especially with her fighting Tony about it."

Loki shrugged, waving away the compliment. "You would've done the same if you could've."

A beat of silence passed before Steve spoke again, more determined than ever to win back your trust. "I like her, you know?"

"I care for her, too." Loki replied. "And I know that you care for her but don't you understand that I'm far better for her than you ever will? You hurt her. You broke her trust. I may only know her for a few days but I know breaking trust is important to her. To earn it back—"

"Would almost be impossible." Steve finished, his eyes dropping to the bed. "But I have to try. I really like her."

"As do I. And I'm not giving up."

"Neither will I."

< previous next >

[the-infamous-coat-of-baron-zemo]

Missed Opportunities - Helmut Zemo x Reader | Chapter 2

Here it is! I'm managed to whip up another part to this story. I hope you all enjoy this next bit!

If you missed out on Part 1, it's here.

Word Count: 2300 and some change

-----

Side Note: Obviously, I have taken some liberties with the plot and timeline of TFATWS. So this will be loosely based on the timings of what has happened, but will not be a chronological order of events occurred.

Much love to you, and thank you for the inspiration! And yes, there will be a Part 3 because this was more of a set-up chapter. So hopefully you won't be too disappointed with this one.

~Sandra~

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

As things turned out, your conversation with Bucky and Sam went surprisingly well. Once you were finally able to say your own piece and explain the entire story, a lightbulb seemed to have gone off within both of them.

Sam, of course, was the most understanding, realizing that the reaction Zemo had was surely due to the intense trauma of what happened. He went on to explain; he had seen those types of emotional outbursts between complete strangers who had similar experiences when The Blip happened. They would come into support groups to tell their own stories, once upon a time when the world began trying to make sense of what happened.

He said it was normal. And Sam was right, he's always right. It was a perfectly logical explanation, and those are the things you look for and stood by.

Except, this.

Nothing about Zemo's reaction felt normal. The connection upon seeing him again twisted up your insides and set your nerve endings on fire. None of your previous interactions ever gave you pause like this. No, this was different. Seeing the raw emotion on his face. The intensity of how closely he wrapped you into his body, as if he were trying to consume your entire being. You were held so closely to him, you could felt the beat of his heart, hear the raggedness of his breath, and sense the tremors beneath his fingertips.

Clearly what happened had changed you both. It would be hard not to given the enormity of the event. Again, you tried to think back to your time visiting him over the past couple of years in prison. Was there always a connection between you? Simmering beneath the surface? And The Blip was simply the catalyst to uncovering something hidden? You scoffed. Now you were just entertaining nonsense. Yes, it was emotional, but this was Zemo we're talking about. There's always a reasoning behind his actions, and they're usually executed in ways that only benefit him.

And just like that, logic and sanity had finally returned to you, like a cold bucket of ice water dowsing you over the head.

You remember looking to Bucky after Sam had finished his explanation and acceptance of everything that had transpired. You had sagged in relief noticing he had taken the information in stride and was no long on the defensive. However, in the following days after, you would always catch him now and again eyeing Zemo with some sort of suspicion. You figured with how manipulative the slightly unhinged genius could be, James was simply keeping a watchful eye on him. And why should he? We all should. Zemo was not to be trusted, and yet - deep down, you felt as if you were lying to yourself. That when push came to shove, you could trust him.

And that scared you.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

All of you were gathered around the kitchen island discussing tactics on where to locate Karli. Bucky had pitched we should be looking in isolated and abandoned areas, but Sam had different feelings on the subject. He felt they should be looking in more highly populated areas, as he believed they would want to try and blend in with the community like normal citizens.

So of course they start bickering, again.

You wanted to roll your eyes at them in utter exasperation, but held back. Instead you settle for a face palm as you continue to map out possible routes Karli and the Flag-Smasher may travel to stay accessible, but not completely visible to the public eye.

As you were zooming into a particular area that looked promising, you felt the brush of someone's hand against yours to the right of where you were sitting.

It didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out who it was. Sam and Bucky were still debating who's idea would bring around to most promising results in the short amount of time we had before Karli decided to strike again.

You peered up at Zemo thinking he was hovering to catch a glimpse of what you were working on, but instead you were surprised to see he had simply poured you a cup of tea and set it next to you.

The brush of the hand was deliberate though. This you knew for a fact. Over the past few days since your little reunion, you noticed Zemo had been silently giving you brief bouts of physical contact. Nothing overtly sexual in nature. In fact, they were quite light and fleeting. Sometimes, it was a brush of his hand against yours, a soft touch at your lower back or the slide of his fingers against a hip as he walked past you.

You weren't quite sure what to make of the actions. They certainly didn't disrupt you, but your body always took immediate notice when he did it.

The chair you were sitting in had swiveled when you went to look at Zemo. You had planned on quietly thanking him, but he had already moved to the opposite side of the island to observe the land markings Sam had drawn up on a paper map.

You gently picked up the tea cup and brought it to your lips. The warmth of the tea emanating from the cup was a balm for your hands. Before taking a sip, you closed your eyes and inhaled the scent of the tea. Ah. Cherry blossom. Apparently, a favorite of his according to James.

When you opened your eyes, Zemo was now watching you. You tilted your head to the side and smiled graciously at him, mouthing a 'Thank you' in reply to his kind gesture.

The corner of his lip twitched up in response to your thanks, nodding back at you. He held his gaze as you took a sip of the tea.

Your eyebrows shot up as you swallowed the tea. It was quite delicious. You pointed to the cup and nodded your head up and down in quick succession to show your appreciation.

You could tell Zemo was holding in a chuckle, but refrained from expressing himself fully. You had narrowed your eyes, and thought about calling him out on it, but ultimately decided against it. Instead you motion your head to Sam and Bucky acknowledging their ridiculousness. Zemo just dismissed them with a, 'What did you expect?' type of look.

Finally you had enough of the two knuckle-heads on the other side of the kitchen and decided to intervene on their behalf otherwise they would never accomplish anything today.

"You guys planning on coming to a conclusion any time soon, or should I start selling tickets to this show?"

James stopped his rant and turned to you, "He started it," pointing his finger at Sam. "Sam just doesn't want to admit that my prospective places have added value that his don't."

"Now wait, that's not entirely true Bucky. I just think -," Sam started in again, but you had cut him off before he could finish.

"For the love of - how old are you two? It amazes me Steve got as much done as he did with you two around," you shook your head in feigned disbelief.

You might have felt bad about your slight outburst, but it was absolutely worth it to witness the sheepish expressions on both Sam and Bucky's faces. You wished you had snapped a picture. Definitely would have made it your new lock screen on your phone.

"If it's okay, I'd actually like to offer a third option," you said, motioning them over with a flourish wave of your hands.

As Sam and Bucky moved over to you, you shifted your eyeline to Zemo, "You too Zemo. Let's get your opinion on this as well since you are a resident to the area and more familiar with its surroundings than we are."

Zemo rose from his place and came to rest at your side, hovering, but not in a suffocating manner.

Even though Zemo had kept a reasonable amount of distance between you, Bucky seemed to show some displeasure as you saw him scoot him a bit out of the way as he tried to put some distance between the two of you.

You bit back a comment in favor of going over what you had discovered and turned to Sam, "I know we want to locate Karli as quickly as possible, but there are too many variables to account for when scouting buildings that they could be hiding out in. I propose we search in hidden pathways that could quickly get the Flag-Smashers in and out of different parts of the city without being readily detected."

"Alright, that does make sense, so what are you suggesting?" Sam tilted his head in agreement before gesturing for you to continue.

"Take a look at this map," you swipe your hand up the computer screen to show a holographic image of an underground rail system.

"Those look like the old track lines from a railway project that was never completed. If I remember correctly, the government abandoned the project when they ran out of money. Most of the tunnels were built, but never quite finished," Zemo interjected.

"Exactly," you turned to him beaming.

You moved your hands animatedly as you were excited by this prospect, "These tunnels travel throughout the entire city. Karli and the rest of the Flag-Smashers can easily maneuver where they need to with these routes. If I were to put money on it, I'd bet you could find their insignias left on the walls of the tunnels below as a potential guide that could -"

"That could lead us straight to their hideout," Zemo finished, smiling with what could be described as something akin to pride, clearly impressed with the astute observation you made.

"I see where you're going with this. You know, you might be onto something. Especially with our truncated time table," Sam chimed in. "Bucky? What do you think?"

You turned your chair around so you could face the three of them fully.

"Yeah, I agree. I think there's a legitimate chance we could find some clues at the very least," Bucky replied, leaning in over your left shoulder to get a closer look at the image.

Memorizing it most likely.

"If I may suggest, here?" Zemo said, pointing to a location not far from them.

You saw Sam and Bucky turn to each and nod in agreement of the starting point.

"That's good. It's also close to one of the last places we spotted Karli, so it makes sense to check it out first before branching off somewhere deeper," Sam assented.

You turn back around and start typing on the keyboard. A few moments later a ping erupted from everyone's phone.

"I sent the map to all of us, so we each have a copy," you stated.

You closed the laptop and hopped off the chair you had been sitting in, packing your stuff up into your backpack off to the side.

"Whoa. Whoa. What are you doing?" Bucky said, placing his vibranium arm on your shoulder to pause your movements.

"Getting ready to go?" you questioned slowly, as if your actions weren't obvious.

"You're not coming with us," James stated sternly.

You turned to look at Sam.

"Listen, Bucky's right," Sam answered. You saw him hold his hands up in the air and shrug before placing a hand on your shoulder before continuing, "I know, it's a shocker, having Buck and I agree on something - but when it comes to your safety, we both feel the same."

You chewed on your inner cheek, knowing this was going to most likely be a losing battle. You pursed your lips, closed your eyes slowly, and sighed before lolling your head to the side in defeat.

Sam grinned knowing he won and dropped his hand from your shoulder, as he left the kitchen to go get his gear.

Bucky came up from behind you and gave you a quick hug and kiss on the head.

"Thank you," James murmured before moving to the door.

"You can't fault them for caring," Zemo said, voice carrying softly through the air.

You pivoted around to where Zemo was, watching him adjust his holsters and making a move for his coat.

"I know," you begrudgingly admit.

Zemo put on his coat and walked over to stand in front of you.

"It may not be completely dangerous, but there's always a chance, and it's not one your friends are willing to take with you," Zemo stated.

You drop your head slightly to stare at the floor. He was right. Sam and Bucky just wanted to look out for you, but that doesn't mean you couldn't be helpful down there. You do know some self defense. You spent 10 years around Steve and various Avengers over time, it's not like you weren't going to pick anything up.

"Zemo let's go," Sam said briskly, as he walked past them to meet Bucky at the front door.

You lifted your head up and saw Zemo give a curt nod to Sam before focusing his attention back on you.

Zemo started to walk by you, but paused to lean into, grabbing your wrist to gently rub his thumb over your pulse point and whisper, "And neither am I."

With that, he abruptly walked off to join Sam and James.

Your wrist was tingling with sensation even after Zemo had left your side.

Before they all left, you managed lean over the island to strangle out, "Please play nice with each other and come back in one piece!"

You could hear the huffs of laughter as they left and the door clicked shut behind them.

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