#the secrets I've been holding for over a year...that change everything and also nothing...

[bookwyrminspiration]

hey (getting ready to post the final chapter of the wings au, the finally completed epilogue, if you even care)

[azrielslittleslut]

I have a lil angst/fluff request if your still taking them. Its a single dad azriel x reader. Where he had a baby with Elain but she took off with Lucien and she left Az with the baby (lets say baby is 6 months old and has no wings). Az is kinda freakin out cuz babies and him hes a lil scared on what to do. While on a mission in day court Az then meets reader who has the most beautiful white feathered wings and hes instantly mesmerized. Hes there for such a short amount of time so he decides to shoot his shot and lands himself a few dates (not once mentioning hes a father). He notices once or twice that reader will not engage or awknowledge babies when or if they smile and coo at her, but he thinks nothing of it. On his last night in the Day Court the bond snaps for him ( but not for her) and hes so so freakin happy, he invites her to Velaris to visit his family and meet his son. Hes a lil nervous about it and when he finally introduces them shes so cold and distant, wont even hold the baby or look at him. She flys back home that same night and tells Az some lame excuse that hes nice but he should have started out saying he had a son. Anyway long story short turns out that she had struggled to have a baby with her husband, and when it finally happend she had a rough birth but holding her baby in her arms was worth the wait.

*Trigger warning*

In the end she felt she failed as a mother and couldnt protect her baby from an enemy she had made from being her husband had also died trying to protect their child, so seeing children was just too painful for her and so she tried to avoid at all costs. I see it going both ways Az waiting yrs for her to heal and coming back for her, Or Az and them working and healing together, You can end however you see fit, or not at all of its too triggering. I just hardley ever see single dad Az freaking out over a lil baby. And scared af reader.

"Wounds"

Azriel x Fem!Reader

Warnings: talk of child loss/difficult pregnancy, angst, language, fluff, Az being a worried dad, slight Elain slander, happy ending:)

Word Count: 7.8k

a/n: anon, i know this took ages, but i wanted to get it right. i personally have never experienced this, but i hope i did it justice. my thoughts go out to everyone on here who has experienced child loss or hard pregnancies! <3

Enjoy!

"Please stop crying. Please," Azriel begged, his eyes looking worriedly down at the bundle in his arms. No amount of coddling or singing or rocking seemed to soothe the baby, and he was at his wit's end with exhaustion. He held his son close, savoring the warmth radiating from him. "Come on, Ky. What do you need?"

Kyrell, or Ky for short, looked up at Az, his eyes full of tears. His eyes were dark brown, just like his mother's, and Azriel felt a sharp pang in his chest every time he looked at his son. Those eyes brought back memories full of joy, but mostly pain. Azriel couldn't stop his mind from going back to a little over a year ago, back to that day that had changed everything.

"Are you sure, Elain?" Azriel asked, his voice full of anxiety. His shadows swirled around him, sensing the stress of their master. "Have you talked to Madja?"

Elain squared her shoulders, her face like stone. "Madja was the one who confirmed it. I am sure." She rested a hand over her flat belly. "She said I'm only a few weeks along, but she doesn't think the babe has wings."

Az felt a rush of relief wash through his body. He didn't want to remember what had happened with Feyre, and he would rather die than watch Elain suffer the same way. "Are you... happy? I mean, this was unplanned. We were so careful... I don't know how this happened."

They had both been taking the contraceptive tonic, not willing to take any risks since they were so secretive about their relationship. How had this happened?

Elain took a step forward and took his hands in hers. "I am happy, Az. I've always wanted to be a mother," she said, her voice soft. "Yes, this is unexpected, but this baby is a sign of our love. The outcome of a wonderful and beautiful joining that even the cauldron itself couldn't stop."

Azriel's heart swelled in his chest. He pulled his hand from hers, lowering it to rest on her belly. He could already imagine the life growing inside of her, the future they would have together. He pulled her into his arms and pressed a kiss to her hair. "I don't know how to be a father," he admitted. "But we can figure it out together."

Elain wrapped her arms around his waist, careful of his wings. "Together," she agreed.

Those had been fake words and empty promises. Only a few days after Ky's birth, Elain had disappeared quite literally into the night, leaving everything she owned in the townhouse. Az had returned from a short mission in Winter Court to his son crying in his crib and a note on the nightstand saying that Elain had left to be with Lucien. That she had decided to accept the bond and live with him. That she wanted to leave Azriel and their son to live a happy and carefree life.

Unfortunately, being the single father of a newborn didn't give Azriel much time to grieve, or even be angry, about what happened. So he had done what he always did and buried his feelings deep down into his soul. He had a baby to take care of, and he was afraid of what could happen if he let himself feel.

Ky's wail tore through the room, bringing Azriel back to the present. He had cried like this almost every night for the last few weeks, and Azriel couldn't take it anymore. He wasn't cut out to be a father. He couldn't do this. He should have been more careful with Elain. He should have-

"He's teething," Feyre said from the doorway. She made her way into the room, her footsteps light. "They cry like that when they're teething."

Azriel looked down at Ky as he said, "Does that... hurt them?" He ignored how stupid the question sounded as he asked it.

Feyre smiled softly as she held her hands out. "It's uncomfortable for them, and crying is the only way they can tell you. May I?" she asked, her brows raised in expectation. "I do have some experience with this, you know."

Azriel gently handed Ky to Feyre, his wings drooping to the floor. He had moved into the River House after Elain had left. He had tried to do things on his own, not wanting to inconvenience his family. But after a few weeks of not sleeping, or eating for that matter, Rhys and Feyre had all but dragged him into their home, stating that if he didn't move in with them, they would order it as his High Lord and High Lady.

It had been difficult at first, but now he was so thankful for their help. They knew how to raise a baby because of Nyx, and he gladly accepted any advice they offered. They kept their distance, though, allowing Az to figure out fatherhood on his own.

"I'm sorry if he woke you," Az said quietly. "How long does this last?"

Feyre smiled down at Ky, her hand running over his tuft of black hair. "Until their teeth come in." She looked up at Az, and her face hardened as she saw his expression. "This is normal, Az. Healthy, even. It means he's growing, which is a good thing. But for tonight, Rhys is whipping together a salve we used on Nyx to help with the pain. He should have it ready in the next few minutes."

Azriel released a breath, his shadows moving to swirl around Ky. His shadows loved his son, loved swirling around him to make him giggle. "Thank you," Az murmured to Feyre. "For... for all of this. I don't think I would be standing if it weren't for you and Rhys."

Feyre smiled, her eyes bright with emotion. "You're welcome, Az. I would never let one of my closest friends and nephew suffer." She winked at him. "Besides, who else would babysit while you go on a mission?"

Right, his missions. Since Ky had been born, Azriel had gone on a few missions, but he had reluctantly learned how to delegate the harder ones to his spies. He couldn't risk something happening to him now that he had a son to raise, so he only took the easier ones, and he was never gone for more than two days.

"Ky does love to play with Nyx," Azriel murmured quietly as if that was a good enough reason for his son to be left here while he was gone. What would Az do when Ky got older? How would he explain to him the details of his job to his son? What if Ky didn't-

Az was so caught up in his thoughts that he didn't realize Feyre had moved closer to him. "Speaking of missions," she said quietly, her voice low. "Rhys needs you to go to Day Court. Nothing serious, of course. Just routine surveillance."

Azriel nodded distantly, his mind going numb. "Of course. I can leave in the morning." His mind was already racing, preparing to become the shadowsinger and spymaster of the Night Court and not a scared single father.

Feyre smiled softly, her hand cradling Ky's tiny head. "Don't worry about Ky. We will watch him."

For a few moments, the world narrowed down to his sleeping son in his High Lady's arms. He looked so vulnerable and frail, and Az was overcome with a wave of anger and rage.

How could Elain do this to him? Azriel didn't care if she felt nothing for him, but how could she look at this perfect child and decide to leave?

Azriel locked those feelings away as fast as they came, choosing to ignore them rather than face them head-on. "I'll get the details from Rhys in the morning," he said finally. "A routine trip to Day Court can't be that difficult."

---

It turned out that a routine trip to Day Court could be that difficult. Immediately upon arrival, Azriel quickly realized how much training his spies here lacked. He had spent hours rehashing the basics—how to blend into a crowd, how to remain silent in the shadows. These spies were supposed to be his eyes and ears, yet they couldn’t even follow the simplest of protocols.

Most infuriating of all, they hadn’t been sharing information with each other. One claimed to know about the political shifts happening within the Day Court, but when pressed, they admitted it was only rumors. Another had no idea about the movements of the court’s key players. It was as if they were all operating independently, blind to the larger picture.

Prythian was shifting, changing, and these people had failed to notice. Azriel’s temples pulsed with a dull ache, the constant incompetence chipping away at his already thinning patience. How had it gotten this bad? How had they let things slip so far?

By the time the sun dipped low in the sky, casting a golden glow over the streets of the Day Court, he was no longer hiding in the shadows. There was no point. His headache had grown unbearable, a sharp reminder of how much he longed to be somewhere else—anywhere else. He thought of his son. He missed him fiercely, the boy’s infant giggle, the way his tiny hands would reach up for him when he returned home.

But now, he was trapped in this beautiful, sunlit prison, surrounded by spies who couldn’t even spy. The thought made him grit his teeth.

He had just turned the corner onto another street when he was stopped in his tracks. Before him stood the most beautiful female he had ever seen, but what caught his attention was her feathery white wings. They shimmered faintly in the sunlight, as if they had been dipped in iridescent powder.

"Hey, watch it asshole!" The yell came from a disgruntled bystander who didn't appear to be happy with Azriel's sudden stop in the middle of the busy street. With another curse, the bystander made their way around Azriel's hulking form, so obviously out of place here in Day.

Azriel shrugged it off, taking a step forward to keep walking down the street, but he was stopped by the sound of a lovely female voice.

"It's not every day we get someone from the Night Court around here," the female said with a smile.

Azriel blinked. It seemed that the commotion on the street had been loud enough to catch the beautiful female's attention. She now stood before him, her white wings tucked in tight.

"Am I that obvious?" Azriel asked finally. He had years of practice at blending in, and this female had called him out immediately.

She chuckled, the sound soft like wind chimes. "Well, black isn't really a Day Court color. And," she said, gesturing to his wings, "I don't know of another court that has winged males."

Azriel shrugged nonchalantly. "You never know. Maybe I'm from a court nobody has ever heard of. I could be an undiscovered creature, here to make a home in Day Court."

Azriel had always been good with females, never struggling to use his charms and looks to woo them. Hell, he usually didn't have to even say anything.

But right now, he honestly didn't know what the fuck he was saying. An undiscovered creature? If Cassian ever heard about this...

The female laughed again, this time tipping her head back. Azriel was mesmerized by the sound, his chest tingling. "You're not a creature," she said matter-of-factly. "You're Azriel. The shadowsinger."

Az crossed his arms, his eyes looking at the female warily. "You've heard of me?" He knew he had a reputation in Prythian, and it wasn't a good one. Normally, it wouldn't bother him if others knew what he did, but something about this female made him want to fall to his knees and repent for all of the wrongs he had done.

"Of course I have. You fought in the War." She was smiling at him, her cheeks dimpling slightly. "Besides, I've always been curious about shadowsingers, so it's only right that I would know about the only one alive."

His shadows were swarming him now, despite the bright sun. We like her, they whispered to him. She is different than the others.

Az cleared his throat, his eyes on her wings "Your wings... I've never seen any like that before."

She looked over her shoulder at her wings. "I got them from my mother, or so my father says. I wouldn't know. She died when I was young, and I don't remember her very well." Despite the dark turn of the conversation, her tone was light, her smile still plastered on her beautiful face.

Azriel found himself smiling slightly. "Well, they are very beautiful." He felt a blush creep onto his cheeks as the compliment left his lips, but her bright smile washed it away.

"Thank you, Azriel," she responded, her eyes bright. She tilted her head as one of his shadows wrapped itself around her wrists. "I like your shadows," she said with a giggle.

His shadows never acted like this with anyone, not even Elain. With Ky, they were protective mother hens, but now, they almost seemed... enamored.

Azriel was not usually the type of male to ask a female out who he had quite literally just met. But he knew he would hate himself if he didn't at least offer her dinner, so after a few moments of watching his shadows swirl around her, he asked, "Would you like to join me for dinner tonight?"

She looked up from his shadows, her brows raised. She sheepishly bit her lip as her wings twitched. "I would," she said. She offered him her hand, rings glinting on her fingers. "I'm Y/N, by the way. I figured you would ask my name before asking me out on a date, but I have always heard of the strange Night Court customs."

Azriel took her hand, fighting the urge to look at his scarred skin against her perfect flesh. "My apologies. I, uh, I-" He struggled to come up with an excuse for his lack of manners, but he came up short.

She patted him on the shoulder gently. "I can forgive you. As long as you pay." She clicked her tongue, looking past him to the shops lining the streets. "Day Court is amazing, but I swear it has the most expensive food..."

Azriel smiled as he listened to her ramble on, following her as she made her way through the crowd. His shadows still swarmed her, but she didn't seem to mind.

After all, it was only one date, and then he would go back to the Night Court... and to his beloved son.

---

One date turned into three, and Azriel couldn't help but admit to himself how much fun he was having. He had not laughed this hard in ages, and even though he had only known her for two days, he felt more open and seen than ever.

He had told her all about his training in the camps, the wars, the Inner Circle. She had listened intently, even diving into her own life. It turns out that she worked at a small bookshop in the city, and she had two roommates in a small townhouse.

She seemed to have such a simple, perfect life, and Azriel found himself full of envy. He tried to fight it, but as he listened to her talk about her daily routines, he wondered what it would be like to live such a life.

"Why were you up at three in the morning, anyway?" she said with a laugh. They were walking down the streets, enjoying the quietness that came with nighttime in the Day Court. "Most people are asleep then."

Azriel paused for a moment. He had been telling her of the time he had found Cassian eating an entire chocolate cake with his bare hands in the kitchen. He had been up because Ky had been crying, and he had wandered into the kitchen for a bottle, only to find a chocolate-covered Cassian and a pissed of Nesta.

Azriel had told her many things, more than he had ever told anyone, but he left out the fact he had a son. He didn't know how to bring that up, afraid she would judge him, or worse... take pity on him for his unfortunate situation. The thought of someone feeling sorry for him twisted his stomach, and he wasn't ready to see that look in her eyes.

"I couldn't sleep," he said at last. "What? They don't have midnight snacks here in the Day Court?"

She rolled her eyes playfully. "Midnight snacks, yes. Three-in-the-morning snacks, absolutely not."

"Well, you're missing out. You should really try-"

Azriel was cut off as a young fae female walked up. She was pretty, with pointed ears and bright red hair. In her arms, she held a small child, no older than two or three. The child was wrapped in a pink blanket, sleeping soundly against the female's chest.

Azriel's heart clenched as a wave of homesickness swept over him. He missed Ky terribly. He knew he was doing alright, thanks to his earlier check-in with Rhys and Feyre, but he longed to be the one holding his baby. He could almost feel the weight of his son in his arms, the scent of him, the way his little hands would reach for Azriel in the middle of the night.

"Y/N!" the female greeted, her tone warm. "I haven't seen you around in ages! How have you been?"

Azriel's companion smiled, but he could see something dark in her eyes. "I've been... good." Her voice was tighter than usual, all signs of her earlier laughter gone. "And you?"

"Oh, you know. Tired all the time, thanks to the little one crying at all hours of the night." The female smiled softly, bouncing the child gently in her arms.

Azriel could understand that, at least. He would never forget the time he almost put his boots in the fridge instead of the milk because of his exhaustion.

"Yes, well. I've always heard motherhood can be difficult, but you look amazing- if that counts for anything." As Y/N spoke, Az noticed how she made it a point not to look at the sleeping child, keeping her eyes on her friend's face.

Perhaps, she didn't like children? Or maybe she wasn't really friends with this woman, and she was trying to appear uncomfortable to get out of the situation?

The other female's gaze lowered for a moment. "I am sorry. I.. I-" she stammered for a few moments before shaking her head, seeming to right her thoughts. "Right. Well, I'll leave you two alone." She smiled kindly at Az. "Enjoy your evening."

She quickly hurried off, leaving Azriel to stare at Y/N. "Are you alright?" he asked lowly, daring to place a gentle hand on her arm. Her gaze had gone nearly vacant, and he decided he would do anything to bring back the warmth from earlier.

She blinked whatever emotion she was fighting away. "I'm fine. That woman is always driving me up the walls. Always coming into my store, asking if I can spare any free books."

Azriel nodded, but something told him there was more to the story. He decided not to press it. "Shall we?" he asked, offering her his arm.

The two of them made their way down the street, once again laughing and carrying on as if nothing had happened. But there was still a shadow there, a voice telling him that there were still pieces of her that he didn't understand.

---

The mating bond snapping into place took Azriel completely by surprise. It was Azriel's last night in the Day Court, and she had been showing him her bookstore.

She had handed him a new arrival, her eyes alight with passion, when he had felt that snap inside of his chest. He had stumbled back into a shelf, his wings pushed against the wood, his hand on his chest. He was still struggling to breathe as she leaned over him, her voice soft.

"Azriel?" she asked, her tone full of worry. "Are you alright? Let me go get you some water-"

Mate. You are my mate. His thoughts were drowned out by a deafening ringing in his ears, and it took all of his self-control to not blurt them out in a fit of happiness.

After he regulated his breathing, Az forced himself to stand upright. "I'm fine," he murmured, his eyes on her face. She was looking at him with worry and shock, her arms out to catch him in case he stumbled again. "Are you- do you feel anything?"

Her brows furrowed as she shook her head. "No. Other than worrying about you tearing down my new bookshelf," she said, but there was a teasing smile on her lips.

I guess the bond only snapped for me, Azriel thought to himself. It made sense, of course, but it would make things a lot less complicated if she felt it, too.

It was in that moment that Azriel decided that she needs to see all of him. Where he comes from, his family... his son. If she wanted to be his mate, it would be on her terms, not his.

He ignored the voices plaguing his mind, telling him that this wonderful female would never choose him, especially once she realized the baggage he carried. No, he let himself feel this happiness, the first true happiness he had felt in a long time.

His mate. He had found his mate.

"You know tonight is my last night here," he said, taking a step toward her. "But, maybe we can have more nights together?"

She had been in the process of placing the book on a table, but her hand stopped as she heard his words. "What do you mean?"

Azriel bit his lip as nervousness filled his chest. "I mean I would like to take you to the Night Court. Just for a visit, of course." He smiled at her, feeling awkward for the first time in centuries. "So you can see all of the strange rituals we have there."

For a moment, Az thought she would decline. Her face paled slightly, and her lips tightened. But eventually, a beautiful smile bloomed across her face, like the sun rising at dawn.

"I would like that," she said cheerfully. "I haven't left Day in a while. Are you wanting to leave tonight?"

He thought his heart would beat out of his chest with happiness, but he forced his voice to remain steady. "We could, as long as you have everything in order here with the store."

She placed the book on the table and took his hands in hers. "I can talk to my roommates. They can keep eyes on the place while we're gone. I need a vacation, anyways."

Azriel laughed, the sound deep and joyous. He gestured a hand toward the door. "After you," he said. "I've been wanting to see what those wings look like in flight."

---

Her wings were the most beautiful things he had ever laid his eyes on. Even though it was dark, they shimmered under the moonlight, their color shifting to silver.

They laughed as they flew, and Az was surprised at how well she could keep up with him. She was able to follow his maneuvers expertly, dipping and rolling along with him. He made it a point to ask her who she was trained by later.

The River House was quiet when they landed. His shadows alerted him to the fact that Rhys, Feyre, Nyx, Ky, Nesta, and Cassian were all inside, having just finished dinner.

"It seems that everyone is here," he murmured to her, taking her hand in his as he walked up the steps. "This is your last chance to turn back."

She pulled her eyes away from her surroundings long enough to look at him. "After I flew all this way? I don't think so," she said with a giggle.

He pushed the door open, his hand still in hers. He led the way into the small sitting room, the air warm and smelling of citrus and jasmine. His family was all here, seated in chairs around the fire. His eyes roamed the room, looking for Ky, and he found him sleeping in a small basket next to the fire. Nyx was sleeping next to him, the small boy having placed his hand protectively over the babe.

Azriel felt his chest ease at the sight of his son, safe and warm. He wanted to run to him, but he needed to ease his mate into this.

"Az," Rhys greeted, standing up from his chair. "We were wondering if you would be back tonight." He walked toward them, a smile on his face, but that smile faltered a little when he saw the female next to his brother. "And who is this?"

She stepped forward, radiating confidence as she introduced herself. "I'm sorry for intruding on your evening, but Azriel offered to show me around the Night Court. I've always heard lovely things about it."

Azriel met Rhys's violet stare. A stranger in Velaris, Az? Rhys asked into his mind. You were only supposed to go on a routine mission.

Azriel decided it was best not to beat around the bush. She's my mate. She means no harm. She is kind. And nice. And I wanted her to meet all of you.

Rhys nodded slightly. He raised a brow. Everyone?

Azriel glanced over at Ky. Everyone, he responded.

Rhys must have communicated with Feyre, because she gracefully walked over to Ky, sweeping him gently up in her arms. She smiled affectionately at Nyx as she moved over to Azriel. "He's been sleeping well," she whispered. "And eating well. I swear he's gained ten pounds since you were gone."

Azriel could no longer deny his paternal instincts, so he quickly took Ky in his arms, savoring the warmth radiating from his small body. "Did you miss me, little one?" he murmured to him as his shadows swarmed the baby, searching for any sign of distress or harm.

Azriel turned, a smile on his face as he found his mate's face. He expected her to be curious, or shocked, at the sight of a baby in his arms.

But nothing could have prepared him for the look of raw pain on her face as she looked at Azriel and Ky. "Who is that." It wasn't a question. Her voice was hard and tight, and Az swore she was holding back tears.

"This is Ky," he said gently, worry and fear creeping in as he took in her expression. "My son."

She quickly tore her eyes away, searching around the room. They fell on Nyx, who was still sleeping soundly on the floor, and she stepped back as a gasp flew from her lips.

Azriel could sense the unease radiating off Rhys and Feyre, already preparing themselves to defend their family. Cassian and Nesta stood next to each other on the far side of the room, their backs straight, their eyes holding predatory intent.

It was only Azriel, who was still holding Ky, who forced himself to remain calm. "Would- would you like to hold him? He's quite small, but he's so warm and-"

"NO!" she screamed, her body trembling as she stepped backward toward the door. Tears spilled down her cheeks as she covered her face with her hands. "I can't. No. No. No."

Feyre quickly stepped forward, taking Ky out of Azriel's arms. Calm her down. Now, Azriel, she whispered into his mind, but it was the voice of the High Lady.

"Come on," he muttered to his mate, reaching for her arm to pull her outside. "Let's go outside." She didn't fight him as he hauled her through the door and down the steps. The night air was cold, but Azriel didn't feel it.

He could only feel pain, anger, rage, and a hurt like no other. What had he said or done to send her into this kind of panic? Was the thought of him being a father truly so horrible?

Once they were outside, she ripped herself out of his grasp. "I'm going home." Her voice was distant now, devoid of any emotion.

He moved to step in front of her, his eyes pleading. "Please. Let me explain all of this-"

She pushed him out of the way, her wings unfurling as she prepared to take flight. "You're a nice male, Azriel," she said. "I... like you. I do. But you should have told me about this. About him."

Azriel fought the urge to snarl at her tone when speaking about his son. "Is it really that bad that I'm a father?" Though he was angry, his voice came out broken.

She looked at him then, her eyes softening slightly. "No. It's the fact that you don't understand. You could never understand."

"Then tell me! Help me understand!"

She shook her head as she pushed off the ground, his wings catching the air, hauling her up. "Goodbye, Azriel."

Her voice carried on the wind as Azriel watched her take off into the night, taking a piece of his heart with her.

---

1 year later

"Come on, Ky. You can do it!" Azriel encouraged, his hands out to catch Ky. The Velaris sun was blinding, but Az kept his attention on his boy, not daring to miss the sight of him taking his first steps.

Ky was standing on small, wobbly knees, his tiny face scrunched up in determination. He took a small step forward, then another, and another-

"Gods! You're doing it, son!" Azriel exclaimed in happiness.

Ky took one more step before his tiny legs gave out, but Azriel was there to catch him, as he always would be. He swooped him up, pressing a kiss to his chubby cheek. "I'm glad to know you got that determination from me, at least," he said to Ky.

Ky gave him a toothy smile as he giggled, his attention already captured by Az's shadows as they swarmed him, seeming to offer their own form of praise.

In the last year, Azriel had heard nothing from Elain. He had heard from his spies that she and Lucien had welcomed their own child into the world, a little girl who Azriel had not bothered to learn the name of.

A year ago, he would have been heartbroken beyond repair at the thought of Elain choosing to start a family with another male, even though she already had a family here. But since then, Azriel had taken the time to heal, choosing to let go of any bitterness and anger.

Ky deserved better than having a father who was pissed off at the world, and Az had vowed to himself to be the best father the world had seen. He didn't know what a good father looked like, but he was learning, and he had Rhys and Cass and the rest of his family to help him.

There was one part of his healing that he was struggling with though- his mate. The female who had quite literally flown off into the night at the sight of Ky. Az had not heard from her since that night, so he never got an explanation as to why.

He tried not to hold it against her, hoping that, if they were meant to be together, things would work out in the end.

"Uncle Azriel!" Nyx's voice, though the boy was small, boomed across the lawn. "Want me to take Ky in for his nap?" Nyx was the best cousin to Ky, always making sure the boy was eating and sleeping properly.

Hell, sometimes he was even more on top of things than Azriel was.

"Sure," Azriel said, placing Ky in Nyx's arms. "He just took his first steps. He deserves to rest."

Nyx's eyes widened. "He took his first steps and I missed it?" He blew out a breath. "You should have called for me!"

Azriel chuckled as he ruffled Nyx's black hair. "Sorry, kid. At least you were there for his first word."

In fact, Nyx had been the first word Ky had said. Of course, it had sounded more like "Byx" than anything else, but Nyx had gloated about it for days afterward.

Azriel watched Nyx carry Ky into the house, smiling to himself. It was moments like this that he was thankful for his life. Things had gotten better, so much better. He had a family now, a place where he belonged. A son, a perfect boy who looked just like him-

His thoughts were cut short as he heard soft wing beats from above. Not Illyrian wings, he realized, but something softer, like feathers.

Azriel squinted into the sun, watching small shape grow closer and closer, until the small body of a female landed in front of him.

But it wasn't any female. It was his mate.

"Hello, Azriel," she said, her voice soft. Her face was full of nervousness, and she was biting her lip and wringing her hands. She tucked her wings in tight. "I hope I'm not interrupting anything."

For a moment, Azriel could only blink at her. She's here. She's really here.

"No. No. Of course not," he blurted out, taking a step toward her. His shadows swarmed her, just as they had when they first met. She smiled down at them, but the smile didn't meet her eyes. "Why are you here? Are you in danger?"

She shook her head, her hair falling around her shoulders. "No. I'm fine. Everything is fine." She went back to biting her lip again as she spoke. "I've been thinking... I think you deserve an explanation of what happened last year. I owe you that. The way I reacted was wrong, and I want to explain."

"You don't owe me anything," Az said, running a hand through his hair. "I should have told you about Ky. It was wrong of me to force him onto you like that."

She smiled again. "No. You did nothing wrong. I don't know your situation, but..." She took a step forward, craning her head up to look at him. "I would like to hear about it now if you want to tell me. I promise not to fly away again."

Despite himself, Azriel laughed. He angled his head over to a small table and chairs Feyre had set up on the east end of the house. "We can talk over there," he said. "Nobody will disturb us."

The two of them walked in silence, the soft wind rustling through the trees. Azriel was nervous, not knowing what to say to carry on an easy conversation. He could feel the unease radiating from his mate, so he decided it was best to keep his mouth shut.

“You go first,” she said once they had situated themselves in the chairs. “My story is… well- just go first, Az. Please.” Her voice trembled at the end of her sentence, her eyes watery.

Azriel reached a hand over and laid it atop her own, squeezing gently. He took a deep breath before letting the painful story spill from his lips. He told her of Elain and the short romance that had followed the War. He told her of Ky's birth and the disaster that had followed. He spoke to her of his feelings, the feelings that he had not spoken to anyone, not even his family.

By the end, silent tears were streaming down his face, and he sucked in a breath as she gently reached over and wiped them away, her face full of understanding.

"She just... left?" she asked, her voice full of something like wonder, as if she couldn't understand how a mother could do that to her child. "And you've been raising Ky on your own?"

Azriel nodded once. "Well, mostly on my own. My family has been helping me, but that hasn't made it easy."

She took a deep breath, her eyes on his face. "I am sorry that happened. I don't think I would have survived that, if I were in your position." She paused for a moment, biting her lip.

"You don't have to tell me your story, you know," Azriel said, his tone gentle. "Believe me, I understand that some things are... difficult to discuss."

"I was married once," she said abruptly, her eyes moving to look at the city. "We were so happy together, but we were only missing one thing. A child."

Azriel's heart stuttered inside his chest as she spoke. He forced his face to neutrality, not wanting the warring emotions inside his mind to scare her.

She continued on, her voice vacant, "We tried for years to get pregnant, but it wasn't easy for us. We had so many false positives, and each time it happened, I felt as if a piece of my heart broke. We finally gave up, so we were surprised when I got pregnant a few years later."

"We were happy, so happy... but I had a hard pregnancy. By the third month, I was already placed on strict bedrest, completely forbidden to leave my bed except to relieve myself or get food. The labor was even worse. It took two days for our babe to arrive, but the pain and suffering was worth it to hold him in my arms. To hear his little cries and to feel him wrap his tiny hand around my finger."

Azriel watched silently as her eyes filled with tears, but he was too shocked to move. He had a horrible pit in his stomach, afraid of where this story was going.

"My family lived in peace for a few years. We had such a quiet life, you see, filled with so much love and joy... I never thought of how fast it could all be ripped away..." The tears in her eyes spilled over, coating her cheeks. "There was a male in Day Court. He was a harsh man, but he had always liked me. He was the one who taught me how to fly. He was in love with me, so he got angry when I got married, and even angrier when I had a child. I never thought he would do anything, though. I was so wrong..."

"One night, we were sleeping in our home. The male broke in and pulled my husband and me out of bed. I was so shocked, I was unable to fight, unable to do anything as I watched him go to my son's bedroom. I couldn't do anything as I watched my husband try to fight him off, only to get killed in the process. I was helpless as I listened to my boy's cries grow louder and louder, only to be silenced as he was murdered... Because of me."

She started sobbing uncontrollably, and it was all Az could do to wrap her in his arms, trying his best to shield her from the horrors of her memories.

She was breathless as she continued on, her face pressed against Azriel's chest. "What kind of mother am I? I couldn't even protect my own child when he needed me the most. I couldn't face what I had done, so I ran after that, moving into the capital city. I didn't even bury my son. There's no place I can go to honor his memory... I tried to forget my prior life, not telling anyone what had happened. My roommates don't even know."

She pulled away from him, tipping her face to look up at his. "That's why I ran, why I couldn't look at my friend's child that night. It's too painful for me to see a child. I get bombarded with these memories, and all I can see is my son's face, screaming for me to help him."

She was silent after that, her voice broken. So Azriel held her, trying to find the words. But there were really no words to offer a grieving mother. There was nothing he could say to heal these wounds.

Finally, he asked, "What was his name? Your son?"

She froze for a moment, and Azriel worried he had asked the wrong question. But she said, "Alek was his name. He..." She shook her head. "That night when I saw you with Ky... He reminds me so much of my Alek."

Azriel released a breath. "Thank you for telling me. I can't even begin to imagine what that must feel like," he said quietly. "But I need you to know- nothing could ever take away the love you gave Alek, or the love he had for you. You carry that love with you, and you hold onto it." He hesitated for a moment, moving his hand up to cup her face. "I'm here. For whatever you need- whether that's to talk, or to sit and grieve. Just know you're not alone anymore."

Despite her grave expression, she smiled. "Now you're starting to sound like my mate. I was wondering when the sweet talking would start."

Azriel gaped at her, his mouth opening and closing like a fish out of water. "You... you knew?"

She nodded. "The bond snapped for me before I flew off that night. I almost stayed, but I knew I needed time to heal before I could be the mate you deserved. So I left, and I've been working on my healing since then. I am better, but I still have hard days, so I understand if you need more time..."

Azriel cut her off with a quick kiss. "I still have hard days, too. But we can face them together. Nobody needs to deal with their problems alone. We can't let the hard days win."

She smiled, and he felt his chest warm as the life returned to her expression. "I would like that. Together," she agreed.

Azriel took a deep breath. "Would you like to see Ky? You don't have to if it will be difficult, but if you stay here..."

"I would love to," she said quietly, her eyes shining. "I'm alright. I want to meet your son."

Azriel led the way into the quiet River House, thankful that most of his family had left for the day. Once they got to Ky's room, he quietly pushed the door open, knowing he was sleeping.

"It's his nap time," he said. "It's probably best you meet him when he's not screaming his head off."

She smiled at Ky as she walked over to the crib, placing her hand on the rails. She looked up to Az, her face warm. "May I hold him?" Her voice was quiet and filled with awe.

Azriel nodded. "Of course you can, love."

Gently, she raised Ky out of the crib, cradling him to her chest. He didn't stir other than snuggling into her warmth, his small face innocent as he slept. "He looks like you," she said quietly, her eyes roaming Ky's face.

"Thank you," Azriel said proudly, a silly smile on his face.

She gasped softly as Ky wrapped his hand around his finger, his hand so small. He murmured contentedly as he slept, and Azriel realized Ky had never had this. Of course Feyre and Nesta had held him, but he had never had someone hold him with a motherly love.

Azriel's heart warmed at the sight, and he couldn't help himself as he walked over, and wrapped them tightly in his arms.

They stood there in the quiet, and Azriel swore he could hear the sounds of old wounds healing,

---

6 months later

"Where are we going, Az?" she asked, giggling as Azriel pulled her to the outskirts of the city. "There's nothing over here."

He looked back at her, offering her a wink. "That's what you think, angel."

The last six months had been filled with happiness, joy, and healing. They both had hard days, but they had been there for each other every time, honoring their promise to face it together.

Ky was growing faster than Azriel liked. He was walking and talking now, and he was even learning how to eat by himself. Just earlier this morning, Azriel had whined, complaining that his son would no longer need him soon.

She had slapped him gently on the arm. "That's what babies do, Az," she had said, kissing him gently on the cheek. "They grow, yes, but they will always need us."

She had become a mother to Ky, there was really no other way to put it. She would clean him and put him to bed, doing all the things that Azriel himself had struggled to manage with ease. A few weeks ago, Ky had called her "Mama", which caused her to cry with happiness and pain commingled.

The two of them were set to accept their mating bond next week, and Azriel couldn't be happier. They had learned so much about each other, and he had found himself falling more and more in love with this female each day. There was one thing he needed to do, though, which was why he was dragging her to this place.

On the outskirts of Velaris, there was an opening in the trees to a place where many people didn't go. At least, not those who had never experienced the loss of a loved one.

As they walked up the path, he could see the small stones poking out of the ground, their engravings holding the names of the people in the ground.

"Azriel," she said quietly, her hand tight in his, "why did you bring me to a cemetery?"

He smiled softly at her, leading her to a small stone, newer than the others, its engraving easy to read. "I wanted you to see this."

She looked at the stone, her eyes filling with tears as she read the words there.

Alek

"Forever Loved, Never Forgotten"

Though your time was brief, your light will shine in our hearts for all eternity.

In the embrace of the stars, you rest, but in our hearts, you live on.

Azriel watched her face as she read, worrying if he had chosen the right words to put on the headstone. Maybe he should have made it shorter? Was it too much?

He was pulled from his thoughts as she suddenly wrapped her arms around him, throwing her body against his. "Thank you, thank you, thank you," she said between sobs. "It's perfect, Az."

"I know his body isn't here, but you can come here whenever you like. To remember him," Azriel said as he held her, running his hands through her hair.

She pulled away then, her eyes bright with love. "I can't wait to be your mate," she said, smiling through the tears.

Azriel laughed, his heart full. The wounds of the past would always linger, like shadows that never fade. But with those you love by your side, even the deepest scars could begin to heal, and in their place, hope could grow.

general tag list: @quiet-loser @andreperez11 @lilah-asteria

@anarchiii @inkedinshadows @panther-girl-124

@scorpioriesling @olive-main @scarsandallaz

[spidermans-l-o-v-e-r]

9-1-1 Masterlist

Oh gee finally a place I can keep these! Thank you to my bestest most amazing friend in the whole world for making these headers for me i literally actually literally could not do it without you

Two of a kind

Buck can’t stop thinking about his coworker, so he does what every guy at 3am does on a 24 hour shift!! He sneaks out to his car to get off. But it turns out, certain coworkers (that might possibly be the love of his life) have the exact same idea!

Fairest of Them All:

The party downstairs rages on as Buck decides to do something about the pretty little thing he’s been staring at all night

Clothing Optional:

I can’t. I can’t keep writing summaries. I’ve done 2

After a stupid work shift, in the stupid heat, Buck just wants to enjoy a sweet little sundae, fortunately it comes with a side of dat ass (I’m not sorry)

That Should Be Me:

Buck has never ever been jealous ever a single damn day in his life

Gamer Girl

Buck thinks you’re so, so pretty. You’d looked even prettier with your thighs around his head

Now You See Me:

✨Mirror sex✨

Growing Pains:

Everything is all wonderful and cool and dandy until you nearly die from your appendix!!

(I KNOW. THERE IS. AN AMBULANCE.)

Cry To Me:

Eddie loves when you’re crying during sex, nothing turns him on more… except when those tears are very very real and he’s very very worried

10 Things I Hate About You:

You guys freaking h a t e each other… or do you? Wink wink wink wink enemies to lovers wink

I Spy:

Eddie is the sweetest neighbor in the entire world… who knows where you work

Better Than Revenge:

You and Eddie get locked into a closet at your job after an accident, it also turns out your now EX boyfriend is a cheating asshole! Eddie has absolutely no problem filling in for the revenge role

Front Row:

Why do firehouses have to work f o r e v e r. Eddie needs a freaking shower and to pass out for the next six years on an overnight shift. It turns out someone has the same idea, and possibly another idea on how to left off some steam

Yeti Point:

Eddie finally takes you on that skiing vacation you’ve been begging him for and it’s going great! Until you get snowed in. But that’s okay, Eddie has a secret plan to keep you both warm

Slow and Steady:

Buck helps Eddie into the house, holding him up as you frantically get the bed ready for your injured boyfriend. Turns out, pain killers make Eddie horny!

(Hahahahahaha)

Encanto:

Dad!Eddie x Daughter!reader

Nightmares never get easier no matter how old you get. Especially ones where your father dies

Smoke Dector:

Eddie always has to be the hero, okay not really but it’s hard when you see your boyfriend running into a burning building for the first time

One Puff Or Two:

Take your freaking inhaler Eddie 🔪🔪🔪

Into The Fire:

(PTSD WARNING, PANIC ATTACK WARNING)

You’ve been on edge lately, and Eddie knows there’s something up. One night things come to a head when you have a nightmare about what happened and Eddie wakes up to a very bad situation

Night Changes:

Eddie comforts you after a bad nightmare about him dying over and over in different ways (based off of 5.14)

Busy Bees:

Two words ✨Sex Pollen✨

Soup or Salad?

✨I’ll freaking summarize this later✨

A Rose by any Other Name

This is one of the funniest titles I've ever made up. Buck finds your simple collection of toys and shows them to Eddie... and now they want you to put on a little show for them

Finish Line:

A little game of "whoever cums first loses"

Twice Bitten:

Double Penetration from my kinktober list!

Alexander Hamilton:

Buck can't stop having feelings for Eddie's girlfriend... but what if that's okay?

[starflirts]

another one, i'm sorry hahaha - dancing in the courthouse, percy jackson :)

lyrics:

She loves how he talks late at night, when there's no one else to say

How she's beautiful and funny and smart like nothin' he's ever seen

He's good to her, and she wants it more than everything in-between

don’t apologize omg thank you so so much for requesting you’re too sweet <3

percy jackson x reader

It’s always been you and Percy. It would always be you and Percy.

The first time you met, you sure looked like a mess, tears and snot on your face, hiding in your mother’s legs, Strawberry Shortcake backpack on display. He came up to you, clumsily patting your shoulder. By the end of the day, both your moms had to pry you off of each other. ever since that day of preschool, the two of you were inseparable.

People always assumed that the two of you had something going on. And everytime, your friends would shake their heads, laughing.

“They went to prom together, you know ? As best friends.” With their knowing smiles, they always seemed to see something that even you and Percy weren’t aware of.

Best friends. Nothing less but also nothing more. Yet you couldn’t ignore the beating of your heart anytime his hand slightly brushed yours nor the way his eyes searched for you in any group setting. Over the years, you realized how Percy changed, how comfortable and safe you felt around him and how much he occupied your thoughts. That’s when you were hit with the terrifying realization that you liked Percy, more than you should. And you wondered if Percy felt the same. You hoped he did.

You never told any of this to anyone, nobody needed to know, not yet at least. It would be your best kept little secret. Unbeknownst to you, Percy was going through the same turmoil. He longed to hold your hand, daydreamed about you and back in high school, he even tried to practice a few pickup lines in front of his mirror, only to be caught by his mom.

Whenever you were around your friends, they were the first to point out how Percy’s hand lingered on your shoulder, or how often you were wearing his favorite hoodie, the one he absolutely refused to lend to anyone. These remarks always left the both of you blushing, thus reinforcing that small bubble you two shared.

“They’ve got their own thing” you once heard your friend Piper say to Jo when you were tucked in Percy’s side at the bar.

Your potential relationship with Percy sparked an unrelenting interest among acquaintances but the spotlight on the two of you was also overwhelming at times. You did like your privacy and so did Percy. The “dates” you went on weren’t secret, they were simply meant for you and him only.

But what you loved the most were the nights Percy spent at your apartment, when no one else was around, legs tangled under the sheets, his hand caressing your face.

“You’re so beautiful.” he whispered one night. “And so smart ! I've never seen anyone as smart as you I swear.” he laughed as you playfully slapped the hand resting on your waist.

His words were like honey dripping on your heart, warming it until you thought it’d set ablaze.

You planted your face on his chest, muffling your answer. “You’re too good to me.”

His husky laugh sent shivers down your spine.

“That’s just because I love you, and I want you.”

[nerdycanible1]

Am back! :D

Omg guys! Almost forgot I had this ((joking)) but nah seriously! It had been years since I've posted anything here! 💀

Anyways imma go back to my roots!! Y'all remember the days of Legend of Korra where I've only simped for Lin Beifong? 👀 But I've found a new lady, well not really but I've got a new love!!

So y'all remember (if not don't worry about it) the whole genderbent au thing I've created and it was female Tenzin and male Lin and stuff like that? Well I've got some stuff for y'all!

So first and foremost, this is Tenna. She is genderbent Tenzin (female Tenzin). She is literally so hot and I cannot stop drawing her! Currently working on the backstory and this will be nothing like tLoK, actually it will in some places but yes! A lot will be changed!

But look at her! She's gorgeous! 🥺 Also I just wanted to show y'all my improvement of art over the years! QwQ it has improved so much and I'm so proud! Anyways I'll stop rambling and let ya get to the photo!

Tenna: 55 years old

Tenna in swimsuit enjoy 🗿

Side note: Tell me this isn't the most Tenzin expression ever xD

Anyways, my thoughts are simple. Make hot women. :D I am smooth brained and frankly I've been a simp for my genderbent Tenzin for years.

I wanted to update her concept instead of the one I've created years ago (plz forget that 💀) and frankly I love this version better. She looks kind, soft, hot, and first and foremost Tenzin-ish.

What I have for her so far:

She is 51-50 just like Tenzin in tLoK

She has one confirmed boy that I've come up with and one confirmed girl.

Their names are Jin (Jinora) and Ming (Meelo). I haven't come up with anything else for the kids as of yet.

She is pansexual. No discussion on this xD

She is currently in a relationship with Peng (Pema). But ma'am is known to wander around.

Tenna is also more in tune with her nomadic life style instead of the whole business stuff.

Tenna left RC at the ripe age of 16, leaving Ling (Lin) in the process but no hate. It was a mutual break up. Ling wanted to keep RC safe and promised Tenna that everything would still be up and running whenever she wanted to settle down.

Tenna fell in love with an air acolyte (whom I haven't decided to name as of yet) and stayed there for a year before the world called for her once more. It was a short but painful romance, one that Tenna often thinks about.

Once she was back on the road she fell in love with a non bender (Not Peng yet), got pregnant and went to RC for Air Temple Island. She stayed on the island for a few years raising her newborn son Jin.

Ling helped with all he could, being there for Tenna, taking care of her and feeding her and dealing with her grumpiness. He took care of her and once the baby was born, Ling knew he would protect the child as if he were the one to help make the baby.

Tenna couldn't have thanked Ling enough and felt horrible she was "holding him back" from finding his true love. Ling wanted to confess right then and there that he loved her but knew it wasn't the right time.

During the time of the whole pregnancy and the raising of Jin, Ling and Tenna fell into a romance. Stealing kisses, sharing deep secrets, touches that crossed the very thin line of friendship.

It wasn't until Jin started talking and walking that Tenna thought it would be a great time to start exploring the world. Jin barely being the age of 3 or 4. Ling confessed to her that he loves her and that she wished she'd stay for him but told her it was a selfish request. He instead kissed her goodbye and told her to look at the Northern Lights for her on one of her trips. Tenna never felt such sadness and sorrow but she promised to keep in touch. She watched as Ling got smaller and smaller as the boat began to leave the harbor and leave behind her very best friend and lover.

Sorry friends but this is where imma stop it before I bore you! Let me know if you want more Headcanons or if you want more art of this fine wine of a milf!

Send me asks, or ask simply in the comments or Dms about any of this au. I'm happy to reply and I'm excited to say that I'll be posting here regularly soon! And you know of course that there's gonna be more Lin Beifong art so prepare yourselves!

As usual, all art belongs to me. If reposted please credit. Thank you!

[chihomichannel]

firefly.fromm

| pairing: oikawa toruu x gender neutral!reader | summary: in which you love him enough to let him go | genre: angst | warnings: slight manga spoiler | word count: 980 | a/n: hiii, it's clem. it has been years since i last posted and since i even finished any story. i have been in college (still am) and it has been really tough. i have been meaning to write but couldn't find the time to do so since i've been so busy. i just finished summer classes and only have two weeks of break before the new semester starts (killme) i hope i can write again since i miss it a lot. i also feel like i have been lacking in writing skills since i haven't been able to write as much anymore. anyways, that's why ive been gone and i hope you enjoy this short fic!

➥play! "firefly" by FROMM

Did you have to fall in love? Looking back to all you went through, before he was yours, during he was and after he wasn’t anymore, was everything leading up to this moment worth every pain, every flutter of your heart, every moment you shared with him? He was there in the first of your everything, as you were in the firsts of his.

And now, as the night descends upon your heads in hues of violet and pink, the reality sinks in that you’re nothing but just a faint light existing within his radiant dream. Outshined over by everything, you were just an obstruction hindering him to get closer to his dream.

It wasn’t that you weren't important. It was just that compared to volleyball, you were just second best to his heart. Always the second priority but you can’t even find it within yourself to hate him for it. Because you love Oikawa Tooru. And you understand him more than anyone. You understand his dream and you want nothing else but for him to achieve it.

And you know he loves you just as much enough to tell you he won’t go. And your heart, as much as it was happy that he chose you, you felt a pang because you knew, this wasn’t the right thing to do.

You hold him, taking his hands and bringing them up to your lips, giving them a gentle kiss. You hid your pouring heart, halting the tears for later as you stared at the whirlpool of his light brown eyes. Memories you shared with him flashed in your eyes, a smile painting your face as you gazed at him fondly.

You think back to the playdates your families arranged. You realize, Oikawa has always been a part of your life. He had been there for as long as you remember. A default in your life, a constant presence akin to a family. You’ve always thought that he will always be a part of your life as he had always been since you were kids. In your mind, he was forever.

You don’t remember when you fell in love with him. It was just that one day you woke up and knew he was the one for you. You always denied it though. Because he is your best friend. And most of all, as you like to argue, he is the Oikawa Tooru. As much as he is a great friend, you’ve seen him with girls. And you’ve concluded that he wasn’t your type. Especially with that arrogance and pride of his. And so when you found yourself in love with him, you wanted to cave and bury yourself 6 feet underground.

You blamed the constant taunts from others regarding your friendship with him. Being childhood friends and all, almost every person you’ve encountered has teased you with him. Friends, family, teachers, classmates, etc. You thought it was just peer pressure. Fleeting like every guy you’ve liked. But that one night, school was over and you stayed with him in the gym when he refused to leave, determined and focused on his game. You realized you’ve judged him out of spite of your new found feelings. You wanted to push them away but as you watched him, you accepted your feelings with a quiver of your lips.

Nothing changed, or so you thought. You never acted on your feelings but instead chose to silently love him in secret. It wasn’t a risk you wanted to take in fear of destroying the relationship you’ve built with him over the years. And maybe, you will never ever make a move if he hadn’t done it himself.

It was during the cultural festival of your second year of high school when Oikawa Tooru went out of his way to confess his love for you. It had been unexpected, but the grandeur of it wasn’t. Everything just spoke volumes of Oikawa as a person. And who were you to refuse him when you are also completely in love with him.

And so at seventeen, you and Oikawa spent the remaining years of highschool making the best memories that are to be treasured for as long as you remain on this earth. But even then towards the end of everything, you knew at some point, it would have to end.

Because if it didn’t, Oikawa would never move forward. And the thought alone that he loves you this much was enough comfort for you to do what you had to do.

And as you stand there under the moonlight at six o’clock in the evening of a summer night, the wind a subtle presence as your foreheads touched one last time, taking in the moment to bask in each other, you gave a kiss on Oikawa’s lips. A declaration of your love and a silent goodbye as you let him go towards his ultimate love.

The moment was gone as fast as it happened, you hadn’t even realized the next morning that while you were asleep, Oikawa had gone towards Argentina. You had accepted it, you knew you had. But the pain that he was no longer yours and you couldn’t even see him was excruciatingly impossible to heal. But all you could do was silently support him. To go on with your life just as he had. Because in the end, even though you both still loved each other and possibly for as long as you live, this was for the best. For him to achieve his dream and for you to move forwards towards your own. 

Even if it hurts now, eventually it won’t. Eventually, everything would be okay again and both you and Oikawa would finally be happy towards your own paths. Because even if you love each other, yourself will always have to come first. And so everything will be okay.

Hopefully

also posted in my AO3 acc

[carbuncle-paws]

I'm ok guys! I just burnt out on writing and have been taking a break from it to recover :3 there are some big upcoming changes about to happen in my life that I'm a little stressed about, but it's nothing bad (I'm moving in with my boyfriend/best friend finally after like 6 years of mostly long distance which is incredible, I'm so excited! But also a little terrified of somehow messing things up even though he's proven a million times through both words and actions that he's not the type to up and lose interest over something petty. I just kind of don't like myself and am worried about not being a perfect roommate or partner like I feel he deserves. I'm ranting now. You can tell I was cheated on once can't you lol NOT BY HIM BTW I'd die of shock if he ever did that. But like, can maybe understand why I might have some self esteem issues I'm still trying to get over hahaha Ok I need to stop talking about that now, seriously.)

ANYWAYS as you can tell, I'm doing just fine <3 I've actually been spending some time making stardew valley mods as a side hobby during this time! You'll probably stumble across my mods if you're a fan of big birds ;3 kweh, kweh...

I only ask if you DO find that account and subsequent accounts linked in the bio there, that you please keep the connection between them and carbuncle_paws a secret. Carbuncle_paws is my NSFW account/userhandle, and since my SFW accounts have a lot of minors following (for my art, nothing I post there is even remotely suggestive), I hope you can understand and respect why I would want to shield them from somehow find me drawing/writing/interacting with adult content.

Also I have a few unanswered asks related to the fanfic that I'm holding off on replying to for now, since I want to be in the right writing headspace again to give those the proper responses they deserve, but rest assured that I DID receive and see them!

I think that about covers everything for now! Thank you for reading this guys, I hope you've all been doing well!

[park-jimin-isnt-real]

part of the bts writers' club

my ao3 ~ all stories are also posted there

all stories are PG-16 or lower; there are suggestive themes and implied nsfw things but absolutely nothing explicit

wips masterlist

🥰 = fluff; 💔 = angst; 🤡 = crack

🤍 = G; 🩶 = PG; ❤️ = PG-13; 🖤 = PG-16, suggestive themes/implied nsfw

:: series ::

》 eot universe 《

all "edge of tonight" stories in (almost) chronological order

》 valen-tans days 《

2023 Valentine's event!

》 devil town 《

You take a chance and spend a month in Devil Town: a quaint little place nestled deep in the woods of The Unknown, where the air is always a touch chilly, things are never quite what they seem, and no one will tell you anything.

》 eot: monsters 《 [coming soon] moodboard

"I'm wondering why do all the monsters come out at night? Why do we sleep where we want to hide? Why do I run back to you like I don't mind if you fuck up my life? Why am I a sucker for all your lies? Strung out like laundry on every line. Why do I come back to you?"

:: series ::

》 edge of tonight 《 💔🖤 [ongoing]

A part of him died that night. A larger part died when they couldn't find you, and over the years whatever was left of him grew cold and hard. It was that ice inside him that got their gang to the top, that gave them power, and money, and all the things a normal mafioso would be more than satisfied with. But none of it meant anything to Namjoon. All Namjoon wanted was you back in his arms. That was the underlying motive in everything he did. For the past ten years, Namjoon built himself an empire, just so he could find the reason his heart beat.

》 eot: old scars / future hearts 《 💔🖤 [coming eventually] moodboard

"Say that again, I didn't quite hear ya, messed with the wrong bitch in the wrong era. I've been at work and I got my badge of honor, honey I've changed so much since I last saw ya."

:: one-shots & drabbles ::

》 my hand 《 🥰🤍 [complete]

You had waited years to find your soulmate, and the universe gave you the perfect one. {part of valen-tans days}

》 the clouded annals of history 《 🩶

You learn a bit more about Devil Town and what you're doing here... and maybe bargain part of your soul away in the process? It's hard to tell. {part of devil town}

》 just take it easy 《

"Oh, just take it easy. Hold onto this feeling. No, no we don't need a reason because we ain't got nowhere to go." {part of valen-tans days}

:: series ::

》 ruffled feathers 《 [coming eventually] moodboard

"What else is there? She says, 'is beauty all that matters to you' and you say 'what else is there'?? You should write a book: 'How to Offend Women in Five Syllables or Less'."

:: one-shots & drabbles ::

》 a matter of minutes 《 🤡🤍 [complete]

Jungkook and Taehyung accidentally-on-purpose spill one of Jin's secrets. Luckily, it's a secret you had, too. {part of valen-tans days}

》 eot: sinners & saints 《

"I'm a liar, I'm a cynic. I'm a sinner, I'm a saint. I'm a loser, I'm a critic. I'm the ghost of my mistakes, and it's all my fault that I'm still the one you want. So what are you after? Some kind of disaster?" {part of valen-tans days}

》 the unknown 《

"I'll lose my mind at least another thousand times. Hold my hand tight, we'll make it another night." {part of devil town}

:: series ::

》 dusk 《 💔🥰🤡🖤 [ongoing]

When you moved to Forks, Washington, you only expected awkward conversations with your adopted sister's biological father and a lot of rain. You did not expect to see the love of your life walk through the high school cafeteria doors - especially when you thought he died back in 1918. But Yoongi doesn't remember you and believes you to be fully human. With the seemingly endless amount of danger coming your way, how long can you keep the act up?

:: one-shots & drabbles ::

》 sugarplum sweetheart 《 💔🥰🤍 [complete]

It was unthinkable. Unfathomable. Unrealistic. Yoongi would never.

》 you're my only girl 《 🥰🤍 [complete]

Yoongi specifically took this day off of work because he knew you needed to take a day off. So let him take care of you, goddammit. {part of valen-tans days}

》 somewhere lost 《 🩶 [complete]

you wake up on a bench in a forest, with no memory before then of recollection of how you got there. the person greeting you gives you three options: going into the Great Unknown (never to be seen again), wandering the woods (until you become an Edelwood tree), or spending a month in Devil Town. {part of devil town}

》 ready to go 《

"She's dancing alone. I'm ready to go but she's so lost in stereo. She's out of control, so beautiful, and I've been waiting for so long but she'll never know I'm losing hope 'cause she's so lost in stereo." {part of valen-tans days}

:: series ::

》 book club 《 [coming whenever] moodboard

As long as we don't die, this is gonna be one hell of a story.

:: one-shots & drabbles ::

》 glorious happenstance 《 🤡🤍 [complete]

Hobi sits at the same place in the coffee shop every day. You sit exactly four chairs away from him. Jimin decides that's too many chairs. {part of valen-tans days}

》 you'll be the last to know 《 🥰🤡🤍 [complete]

It was tradition that each weekend during the summer you and Hobi would go get milkshakes from the local diner to organize your schedules for the upcoming week. It was not tradition for you to kiss him (but you really really wanted it to be). {part of valen-tans days}

》 long-forgotten stories 《

"I still get a little scared of something new, but I feel a little safer when I'm with you." {part of devil town}

:: series ::

》 eot: a love like war 《 [coming soon] moodboard

"Heart's on fire tonight, feel my bones ignite, it feels like war. Love feels like war. We go together or we don't go down at all. Is this the end of us, or just a means to start again?"

》 flying shadows, falling stars 《 [coming whenever] moodboard

"When she was just a girl, she expected the world, but it flew away from her reach so she ran away in her sleep and dreamed of paradise..."

:: one-shots & drabbles ::

》 that's my man 《 🥰🤍 [complete]

You texted your boyfriend in the middle of your workday, telling him it was going to be an emergency date kind of night. Jimin easily agreed. {part of valen-tans days}

》 question 《

"But one thing after another, lost in situations, circumstances, miscommunications, and I have to say, by the way, I just may like some explanations. Can I ask you a question?" {part of valen-tans days}

》 those who travel thru the wood 《

"Falling doesn't feel so bad when I know you've fallen this way too." {part of devil town}

:: series ::

》 war of the gods 《 [coming whenever] moodboard

"How do you kill a god? With another god. An immortal for an immortal. Era for an era. A celestial being to strip another's soul. A God for a God."

:: one-shots & drabbles ::

》 singularity 《 💔🩶 [complete]

He would do anything to protect you, even if it meant remaining cold. {part of valen-tans days}

》 if it's worth it 《

"You're a classic case of foolish, young, and in love, but you don't even know what love could do to us. We are brash and reckless, made of glass and careless. We break apart the moment we both feel too much because when it hurts it hurts. You wonder if it's worth it, but when it works it works. When it's broke, it's perfect." {part of valen-tans days}

》 a mysterious place 《

"I forgot my name again, I think that's something worth remembering." {part of devil town}

:: series ::

》 in this neighborhood, on these streets (feat. kth) 《 [coming whenever] moodboard one two three

When you are young, they assume you know nothing, and I remember it all too well. Once upon a time, I believe it was a Tuesday when I caught your eye...

:: one-shots & drabbles ::

》 just one day 《 💔🥰🤍 [complete]

Jungkook has literally been counting down the days until he could meet his soulmate, but when the day comes he only has 24 hours to find you. {part of valen-tans days}

》 mixing fireworks and gasoline 《

"I let you down. I've been clumsy with your heart again. I guess you figured me out, now here's a taste of my own medicine. And for all this pain that I can't explain, there's a black flag waving tonight. You know I let you down." {part of valen-tans days}

》 a place that few have seen 《

"We're all dead in Devil Town, that fine, 'cause nothing's gonna scare us now." {part of devil town}

[watercolor-hearts]

Hello V! Would you be interested in writing a Carlando fic. with them not being racing drivers? 🩵 I have a few prompts in mind (and I found them on some great prompt lists!) Here they are:

013.   a great ballroom during an elegant party. (location)

with

"That was you?"

"You did all of this for me?"

"Can I hold onto your arm while we walk?"

"If I ask you to kiss me in front of all these people, will you do it?"

"Say you want me, and i’m yours."

and

Forehead touching. (this literally drives me insane!!!)

Thank youu and if you'd rather not do it I'm perfectly fine or if you need time, no worries! I'm patient 😘 Oh and pleease make it a happy ending! (so sorry if I'm asking for too much 😖)

Hi! 😊 Oh my God, this idea was like a dream for me. I was able to include everything from the prompt and I loved writing it. 😍 Thank you so much for it, I hope you'll like it. 😊❤

Also, I've never made people say 'I love you' as many times as in this story. 😃 It wasn't intentional, it just happened this way.

Carlos/Lando • 1391 words • Royal Family AU • mentions of secret relationship • revealing a royal relationship • comfort • supportive Carlos • ballroom dance • marriage proposal • happy end • Ao3 link

-

There's a Christmas Ball in Spain every year for people of the upper class from all over the world. What makes it really special is that the members of the Spanish royal family attend it and usually the Queen and the King are the ones who open the ball with the opening dance.

But this year was different, because the prince, Carlos, got the honor to dance the opening dance with his partner, Mr. Lando Norris, to introduce him to the world.

They'd been preparing for this day for months, learning the waltz with a choreographer, getting tailored tuxedos, and having lessons with protocol and etiquette experts because the family wanted to make sure everything will be perfect.

***

“Someone put this on my bed,” Lando showed Carlos the really expensive-looking watch in a black box.

“Surprise,” Carlos winked at him.

“That was you?” Lando asked, eyes wide in surprise. “Oh my God, Carlos, this is...”

“It's elegant, fits the dress code, and also, I wanted to give you something you can always wear for events like this. It's a family tradition for us, we love watches and I think it's good if you have one, too. Timeless classics show good taste and elegance.”

Lando could barely hold back his tears. “Thank you so much. Can you help me put it on?”

“Of course, Landito,” Carlos smiled, taking the watch out of the box and putting it on Lando's wrist. It looked perfect. “It was made for you. Perfect match.”

“Thank you so much,” Lando whispered before kissing Carlos on the mouth. “This is going to be an amazing night.”

“It's always amazing, sí,” Carlos agreed, “but this one is going to be special because we planned this night the way it is for you, to make it a bit easier because it can be a bit scary when you're not used to being around these kinds of people, not used to the pressure and all things like this.”

“You did all of this for me?” Lando asked, not wanting to believe how nice and caring Carlos is.

“Yes, you're the most important part of this night. I'm proud of having you as my partner and I want people to know that I'm serious with this relationship, I'm not doing it just for fun. I love you and I want to be with you forever.”

“Oh God, I'm going to cry,” Lando said, wiping his eyes already. Carlos held his hands and looked into his eyes.

“Don't cry, Landito,” he said with his most calming voice. “Everything is going to be okay. It doesn't need to be perfect. I don't care about perfection. I just want you to be happy.”

“I'm happy,” Lando said in a thin voice, trying to suppress the tears.

“Take a deep breath, Amor,” Carlos asked Lando and showed him how to do the breathing exercise. “I love you and nothing's going to change that.”

“I love you too. This is such a big step. This ball and everything. We were... Kind of a secret until this day. Or if not a secret, at least not a really official thing, and now I'm scared,” Lando confessed, not daring to look into Carlos's big brown eyes. “I love you so I'm not scared because of that. It's just... The people, their opinion...”

“No need to be scared, I'll be there with you,” Carlos reassured, pulling Lando closer to hug him. “Close your eyes for a bit and focus on my breathing and heartbeat, it'll help.”

***

“Prince Carlos, Mr. Norris, one hour until the start!” Someone from the staff told them, “You need to start preparing. The staff is here with the tuxedos, the hairdressers are ready to start as well as the makeup artists.”

“All right,” Carlos nodded, “I have to go to my own room but we'll meet again soon. I love you.”

“I love you too,” Lando whispered before kissing Carlos and then letting him go.

***

“Oh my God!” Lando exclaimed when Carlos came back, fully dressed up, hair and beard perfect, just like how you'd imagine the perfect prince.

“Is it this bad?” Carlos joked to ease the pressure a bit and held Lando's hand. “You look amazing, Cariño,” he said, looking at Lando from head to toe. His curls were beautiful as well as his face, the tuxedo and the shoes matched him perfectly with the watch being the cherry on the top.

“YOU look amazing,” Lando said, not being able to take his eyes off Carlos. “Like a dream.”

“Let's make this dream reality,” Carlos said, holding Lando's hand as they walked to the door that divided them from the ballroom.

“Two minutes until the start,” a staff member said. Carlos looked at Lando.

“When we go out, don't look at anyone, only me, okay?”

“Okay,” Lando nodded, taking a deep breath.

“It doesn't matter what they say, just follow me. Remember the schedule? First our opening dance, and when we finish, all the others can start dancing too. We can stay there for another dance if we want to but we can also come back.”

“All right,” Lando nodded. He was ready. He wanted it, he wanted to show the world that despite being an ordinary guy, he can be good enough for a prince and he can make Carlos happy.

“One minute until the start.”

“Can I hold onto your arm while we walk?”

Carlos smiled. “Of course, you can.”

“Thank you.”

“Is everything all right?”

“Yeah, I can't wait to go and dance with you.”

“We're starting now. Doors are opening in three seconds!” the staff member said, quietly counting back from three, and then the doors opened.

“Let's do it,” Carlos murmured, looking at Lando for a moment and then looking straight ahead of themselves as they walked to the dance floor. They stopped in the middle of it, waiting for the song to start.

To Lando's surprise, he was able to dance without stepping on Carlos' foot or stumbling upon his own, which was already a success. Carlos led him perfectly, their rhythm was in sync like it had never been before. A totally dream come true situation.

“If I ask you to kiss me in front of all these people, will you do it?” Lando asked not long before the end of the choreography. He wanted to have the most perfect end possible.

“Say you want me, and I’m yours,” Carlos whispered, mentally preparing for the end of the choreography not to screw it up at the last moment.

“I want you,” Lando said, just in time for the end of the dance.

But the kiss didn't come. Instead, Carlos got down on one knee, with an opened ring box in his hand. Lando's heart almost exploded as he realized what was about to happen.

“Lando Norris,” Carlos started, and right after hearing his own name, Lando started crying, “We've been together for quite a long time, and today with this opening dance I finally had the chance to introduce you to the world and from now on we don't have to hide anymore, so now I would like to take the chance to ask you the most important question which I've been thinking about since we got to know each other: Will you marry me and make me the happiest man on the world?”

Lando wanted to answer but not a sound was able to come out of his throat so he was nodding firmly. “Yes!” he said a few moments later when his voice came back, making everyone applaud.

“I love you so much, Lando,” Carlos said with tearful eyes as he put the ring on Lando's finger.

“I love you too, Carlos,” Lando said, wiping off his own tears and pulling Carlos up to finally kiss him. When the kiss ended, he touched Carlos' forehead with his own, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath to calm his racing heart down.

“We should stay for another dance,” Carlos murmured, “But I just want to hold you this time. Close to me, never letting you go.”

“Sounds perfect,” Lando agreed and at that moment, the violins started playing again, thereby indicating the start of the next song, calling everyone else on the dance floor to join the newly engaged couple and make this night unforgettable.

[lenteur]

random thoughts about castaway diva, episode (sau)six

(read more because i always get carried away lol and this post might contain spoilers)

now that i think about it, one thing is bothering me. Why is mr jung so obsessed with finding ki ho only? Didn't he mention there were four members in the family? So why is he so adamant on finding his son ki ho and not the other one? I'm confused. It's true that we didn't see the older in the first episodes so I'm wondering if the brother was already with the mother when ki ho was still in chunsam. It might have been mentioned the brother was already with the mother. I'm not sure.

The whole family wants to keep mr jung a secret and pretend nothing happened. Makes you wonder how far he (mr jung) went. No, I don't want to think about it. I just noticed how the mother is always limping. Mr Jung is a baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad person.

I'm glad we finally got answers but I would be happier if mr jung was behind bars and the whole family can live in peace.

On another note, I am so happy to see president hwang keeping his promise and re-realeasing old ran joo albums. Let's cross fingers she'll reach the 20 million mark before the end of her contract.

I'm grateful that the show doesn't only focus on the ki ho story, they're also giving time for ran joo's story to develop. I just want this whole mess to be over and ran joo must win or else, i'll riot!!!

I've already talked about it but the little details are everything. You can see how rnj company treats ran joo and mok ha like they're less than them. They don't let them know about eun mo rae appearing on heyday again. The Heyday cast treating eun mo rae's manager with way more respect than mok ha. Everyone wants them to fail. It's unfair because there's an obvious power imbalance between ran joo and mok ha vs the rest of the company. Rnj (company) have a lot of connections. The CEO is literally a millionaire, even a billionaire (idk). And then you have ran joo who has been forgotten for her behavior and vocal nodule. The only person on her side is mok ha, a woman that has lived on a deserted island for fifteen years and has a hard time adjusting to the world. No wonder they have a difficult time reaching that goal.

Eun mo rae's manager is as evil and manipulative as lee seo jun. He's blackmailing mok ha into shutting up and agreeing with everything he asked for appearing in heyday again.

I feel for both ran joo and mo rae because lee seo jun is only going to be profiting from them until they're no longer 'young and fresh'. He only describes them as 'cash cows'. He doesn't hold the same value he used to when he was a nobody and ran joo chose him as her new ceo. Money changes people and lee seo jun is a great example of that.

I was worried eun mo rae would just be a filler character but no, the show is giving us the whole backstory behind her career. I am sorry that she knows she was the second choice. If Mok ha was at seoul station to meet with ran joo, then eun mo rae wouldn't be where she is now. She must have a lot of pent up frustration and anger. She idolized ran joo when she was younger but now that she knows ran joo doesn't like her (for many reasons), the image she had of her idol is now broken (like her heart).

There are so any character relations and that's what makes the show good imo. Eun mo rae and ran joo's rivalry is interesting to see.

At this point, I just want bo geol to tell mok ha he is in fact ki ho because this whole back and forth between being caring and all of a sudden distant is tiring me out.

I know he's protecting both himself and mok ha from his father because, once the truth is out, there's no guarantee the boar (mr jung) will leave them alone. Ki ho has tried time and time again to escape from his father but he would be back with him because he is his father. No matter how ab*sive mr jung was, police would bring ki ho back to him because they're related. That's why he changed his entire identity. The psychological damage mr jung has put on the whole family is unfathomable.

Talking about mr jung, here's my theory on why he's obsessed with finding ki ho. So, as we know they were a family of four until the father hit woo hak (forgot his old name) on the head with a chair. The mother didn't leave woo hak for even a second (which is understandable of course). So that left ki ho and mr jung. Ki ho was the only one in the family brave enough to stand up to mr jung. Ki ho's brother and the mom were trying to appease the tension by lying to the father or agreeing with what he was saying in fear of being hit. I think ki ho being the youngest, his patience wasn't as strong as his momand brother's. He was the one admitting to wanting to run away from him. He was the one who said he'd be happier without his dad here. Ki ho got tired and he exploded purely and simply. Mr Jung was so used to everyone being obedient that ki ho's outburst was the final straw. Mr Jung took ki ho with him to chunsam island and that's where the real nightmare started (he was already living it before but in chunsam it was like the ultimate level). Ki ho had no one with him, no one to help him forget for even a second what was going on at home. He was alone. Even when he and mok ha got closer, he didn't confide in her. He kept everything in himself, because he knew the moment he talked his father would find out and make him pay for it. Ki ho is so strong for surviving all of this. He helped mok ha escape from her father, but he couldn't escape from his. Mr Jung won't stop until he finds ki ho, because he's the key to finding the mom and the brother.

The thing that's telling me ki ho and his father living on chunsam island happened after the chair incident is because when the father saw ki ho saved money to try and escape he said something along the lines of "Did you find her (the mom)? Is that why you saved all that money?" He wouldn't have said it if chunsam happened before seoul. Or maybe my brain is too tired and confusing a thing for another.

If the two previous points didn't make any sense to you, it's normal. When I'm trying to explain something that's deep and complex, I have a hard time finding the right words and writing coherent sentences. Sorry for that ehe.

Mok ha confronting eun mo rae was a sweet sweet moment. Both rivals finally meeting and mok ha not backing out. I'm proud of her. When nobody is on her side, mok ha proves she can take care of things on her own.

Bo geol being subtle about his way of helping mok ha is doing things to my heart 💓

this was a good episode, i'll give it a 8.75/10

[aita-blorbos]

AITA for committing treason and betraying my friends before I even met them?

"Committing treason" is perhaps too strong, for I (120M) have no love for my country. We have access to several extremely powerful magical artifacts and instead of fully studying them and uncovering their mysteries, my people decided to treat them as religious relics. These artifacts have already given us access to reincarnation and to a unique kind of magic. What we could accomplish with a deep study of at least one of them is unimaginable.

I decided to dedicate myself to the study of magic and rose through our political ranks. I have a lot of prestige in my field for someone so young and I'm considered a prodigy. So I thought that this would be enough to gain full access to the artifacts, to finally get my people to see what they're missing. But no matter how important I get and how strong the name of my family is, nothing changes. The artifact is still seen solely as part of our god instead of what it truly is.

That is why when magicians of our enemy country, scholars like I am, reached out for me to smuggle two of them... I did not spend much time pondering. The tensions between our countries got even higher, but the artifacts were in the hands of scholars as they always should have been. I'm aware that their goals are possibly not good, but what truly matters is that the information gets to me, that I finally get to understand all the secrets they hold.

Even though I feel they've not been sharing what they're actually finding...

But I digress. After some years searching for their whereabouts, my country finally leads an assault on our enemy to get these artifacts back. Our agents failed to retrieve them, but that was enough to make our cold war hot. I understand that my actions led to this, but I think that war would have happened anyway. Our countries were already enemies, they just needed an excuse.

One day, while the war preoccupied everyone's thoughts, a random bunch showed up to have an audience with our Queen. I was in attendance, but I did not pay them much mind (although two members were clearly from our enemy country) until one of them pulled an artifact, the same one I had stolen, from their bags. Our Queen declared them heroes and that's when things truly started to go wrong.

They were deadset on ending the war and soon they started believing a treator had handed the relics over to the other side. I was keeping an eye on them to conver all my tracks, but they started to ask me favors all the time. They kept calling me to ask questions and to transport them everywhere, wasting my time and magic. However... They also were genuinely interested in getting to know me. They kept inviting me over for dinner, sharing their knowledge and one of them even hugged me. I do not remember the last time I was shown this much kindness and even though I tried my best to prevent it... I started to care about them.

And that's where the real problem lies. All their caring about people is starting to rub off on me and now I'm questioning everything I did. I've betrayed their trust, but that was before I even knew who they were! My actions led to a war, but that was not my intention and that war was set to happen even if I hadn't done anything! My motives were never good, but they were important. I can not be blamed for all this.

...right?

I feel like a few months ago I wouldn't care about the answer, but now I can't help but wonder if I am, how you say, "the asshole".

[theficshop]

Can I request TSITP Jeremiah x reader where the reader is friends with the Fishers and Conklins? Her and Belly are closer and always joke about each getting a brother then it isn’t a joke anymore lol

You and the Fishers had been family friends for many years, meeting every time summer rolled around at Cousins Beach. Your mum worked at the country club during the summer and a few years prior had introduced you to the Fishers and the Conklins. You were one month younger than Belly and you guys acted like sisters. In fact, you were one of the first people Belly told when she first started crushing on Conrad. And that same summer she was the first person you told about your feelings for Jeremiah. In retrospect you were both only 10 years old, you would both fantasise and joke about being with them one day not expecting it to happen. Now that you were both almost sixteen everything had changed. There was actually a possibility that It might just happen...

Jeremiah watched as the silver car pulled into the front of the house for the first time that summer. Knowing exactly whose car it was he ran outside. Greeting everyone with his signature smile.

"Look who came back all grown up?" he says ruffling Belly's long hair

"I think Conrad's gonna be real happy this summer he winked

"yeah, whys that?" she says with a smug tone

"oh, nothing he's just been asking every other day when you guys are gonna get here," he teases

"And speaking of..." Jeremiah cuts himself off as he looks up seeing Conrad come around the corner

"I'll leave you to it," he says with a light hand on her shoulder

he goes to Steven, going over their plans for the summer. Just a few minutes later a second car pulls into the driveway. Before anyone can process it Y/N is opening the car door and sprinting towards Belly with open arms.

"Belly!" she yells pulling her into her arms.

"Hi Y/N, god it's been so long" She wraps her arms around her

"You look amazing, you have to tell me everything that's happened this year" she eyes Belly up and down

"Are you kidding me? you look like a Victoria's Secret model, Jer is gonna freak" she says quietly

in mere seconds Jeremiah is practically shoving Belly out of the way to sling his arm over Y/N's shoulder

"Y/N!, I was waiting for you"

"you're gonna be hanging with me all summer," he says quietly pressing his face into her hair

"Yo Steven" he calls out, "

"you know what time it is?" they both exchange knowing looks

"I think it's time for a belly flop!" they shout in unison

Y/N's eyes widen slightly

"Jere no, Jere!" she tries to protest

it falls on deaf ears as he's already picking her up bridal style and making his way to the outdoor pool. In front of them, Steven and Conrad are carrying Belly, Conrad at her arms and Steven at her feet.

At the water's edge, they swing the girls one, two three times before throwing them in.

"Guys that's not funny I hurt my foot" Belly pretends reaching her hand out to Conrad. With a hard tug, she pulls him in.

"Jer help me out please?" she holds onto his hand, and seconds later she yanks him forward into the pool

"I can't belive you fell for that!" she laughed

"Don't think I'm not getting you back" he jokes clinging onto her her body as she swims to the edge to get out

"All of you get a room" Steven makes a disgusted face.

an: sorry this took so long I've been busy, also I really want to make this a series

[wejustvibing]

Hello there I'm relative new to the F1 been watching since 2020 my brother got me into it. He promised me Lewis supremacy FIA Mafia for only him 😭 He lied. I have never cared for sport and 2021 destroyed me, i will never recover that horrible night. Anyway twitter is full of merceds has betrayed Lewis and listened to G, etc. So I want you opinion on this, my brother thinks it's impossible for them to throw lewis away this soon, but it happend to Seb at Ferrari so it will happend, for me it seems impossible but since last year something feels terrible wrong and maybe is just Totto who betrayed him, after all he his prodigy gets the best outcome of "beating" Lewis, but I still think Mercedes would want to keep using Lewis a little longer to praise G. I have seen your asks and at the moment you seem like a neutral person who is calm and can have a more informed opinion about this, do you think toto has wrong Lewis this year listening to the new guy who has never won anything before or is just fandom going nuts over a long time coming hate towards G.

For me,now it's that it just took time for people to see him for what he is. For me the moment he went to hit Valterri went he was "trying" to prove himself to Totto that's for me is who he is. (Another dirty driver as Max) Lewis is older now and clever and I believe that even if G turns worst that Nico, Lewis will handle things destroying him in a way that he didn't do NR because that shit was in another level because after all it was the betray of his childhood friend, Lewis seems so chill about G is like he is not even there to begging with.

I don't want to believe Mercedes actually did this wrong to his fucking best guy but Totto is not giving me any good vibes these days.

I hope this is not rude or anything. I just want to know your opinion.

hey! putting the whole thing under the cut because i don't want to be negative or whatever this answer is going to make me sound like. might regret answering but oh what the hell. so yeah, 2021 has changed a lot of things and nothing's the same ever since for me too and i get you.

anyway i have to say the vibes are off and i'm not liking it at all. lewis himself has said they didn't listen to him although we don't know exactly which suggestion. also i don't know if they listened to george over lewis. amid everything toto's waffled in the last few days, one thing that matches with everything that's happening is, there's a fundamental issue that lewis isn't happy with. it could be the same issue he asked to get fixed and they ignored. toto also said it will take time to fix it but a) we don't know how long and b) he didn't necessarily say they're going to fix it?

lewis on the other hand sounded hopeful and despite the shit he's trapped in, he's waiting for a major update they might get after the first 3 races are done, so i'm hoping things might start looking up for him. i'm going to hold onto that and remain calm. because the only fight he can have is with that damn car till then sadly.

and about them pushing him out, it's a real possibility with all the teams so i don't see why this team would be any different. (i'm saying this knowing full well his loyalty, determination to stay and all the long term plans he has for diversity, sustainability, etc. btw) not saying it will happen but if it does, i won't be shocked is all i'm saying.

i've avoided adding to the clusterfuck and doom & gloom fully thus far but i have a feeling something monumental is afoot behind the scenes. he's either making the big shuffle for the preparation of a round two per se or he is leaving or a secret third thing (we'll die a slow and painful death watching him continue to struggle).

but whatever it is that happens, i'm here for him.

maybe this isn't what you expected but this is how i'm feeling the past few days. hope i'm not being rude traumadumping on u

[galaxxies18]

「Amidst the Clearing in the Rain」 - Rindou

Ignite A Noise who? Don't know her-

After a whole year of playing I finally have Rindou's initial 5* fully bloomed :D

pt. 1

Rindou Are you headed home? It suddenly started raining, so please be careful. Do you have an umbrella? I can lend you an umbrella if you’d like. MC Wouldn’t it be troubling for Rindou-san? Rindou I’m fine. My house is nearby, so it’s easy to run. More importantly, I’m more concerned about you catching a cold. MC I’ll be sure to be careful. Thank you. Rindou Ah, I’m sorry. I feel like I’ve intruded too much. My family has always been prone to catching colds. I’m sorry. Please, just be careful. MC Then, shouldn’t Rindou-san be careful as well? Rindou I’ve always been quite healthy, so I’ll be fine. Besides, I don’t dislike the rain. You could say I like looking at it. It feels like everything is being washed away. Though it is a bit silly to let your emotions be swayed by the weather like this... I feel like the truth is very close to this, surprisingly. You can’t go against nature. Ah, I’m sorry. I got in your way. If my umbrella is alright with you, it’s in Unei’s office. If you ever need it, please just take it. Well then, please take care. See you tomorrow.

pt. 2

Rindou When it rained yesterday, were you alright? It suddenly stopped as I was about to head home. However, when I left the store, it started pouring again. It caught me a bit off guard. I ran as fast as I could because my house was just nearby, but when I arrived my clothes were soaked heavily. MC Are you alright? Rindou I’m alright. I’m a very healthy person. (coughs) MC ...You’re not okay. Rindou I’m alright.

MC Please don’t overdo it. Rindou Fufu, this is quite refreshing. In Starless, you’re responsible for your own physical condition. Because we fulfil a variety of roles, even an understudy needs t be able to stand on their own. If you're unable to stand on the change, they'll change the starting line up without hesitation. So, I don’t have time to get sick. (coughs) MC Rindou-san...? Rindou I think it’s a bit dusty in here. I’ll be sure to clean up later. (dancing) ….Huh, where did I leave my water bottle? MC Ah, isn’t it this here? Here you go. Rindou Thank you very much. I’ll go grab it. Ah, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hold on to your hand. MC Your fingers were very warm. Do you perhaps have a fever? Rindou (angry) I don’t. I’m fine. Rindou (calms down) ...I’ve caused you to worry. I’m sorry, but I really am alright. I will return to the lesson. Please watch over me if you’d like. MC ...You’re alright, huh.

pt. 3

Rindou (looking around) It...It should be around here somewhere.... MC Rindou-san? Are you reall okay? You've looked pale even before you went to take a break... Rindou (shocked) ...Ah, apologies, you caught me off guard. It seems I've scared you as well. I've been looking for something, but it looks like I'll just have to ask Un'ei later. I'll go back to my lessons. You should also- (collapses) MC Rindou-san!? Are you okay? Rindou Sorry...I'm just a bit... MC You have a fever, don't you? Please take a seat and relax. Rindou Un'ei-kun should have cold medicine, so I thought of looking just for that... MC I'll look for you. Please just sit down. Rindou I'm sorry, I'm troubling you again... I'm always so helpless... MC Hm? Rindou It's nothing. (MC hands over the cold medicine to Rindou) Rindou I'm sorry to bother you, but the cold medicine really helps. I'm grateful to Un'ei-kun for having a medicine box ready. ...Break time is almost over. I was just in time. MC This doesn't work immediately, though? So why don't you just rest for the day? Rindou It's alright. Sitting down made me feel a little better. I'm sorry for all the trouble I've caused you. And one more thing...can you please keep this a secret from the others? MC But... Rindou If I'm not in my best, I will be disqualified from being out top. I don't want anyone else to know about this. MC D-disqualified... Rindou I won't forgive myself if that were to happen. I don't want to be taken away from the stage. ...Hah, it looks like it'll rain heavily tonight as well. MC (Rindou-san...)

pt. 4

(backstage, a rearrangement of Niji no Kanata E plays in the bg) Rindou Welcome, MC-san. I'm glad you could make it to the show. MC Uh, are you alright now? Rindou Fufu, I'm alright now. There's no need to worry. The cold is our little secret, okay? MC Please just don't overowrk yourself, okay? Rindou That's right...I don't want to show you such an unsightly view. MC That's not what I meant... Rindou I should really be careful, because I don't want you to be so worried over me. It's embarassing to be seen so weak like that... But, it made me a bit happy. Thank you so much for worrying for me so unconditionally. If you ever got a cold, I should be the first one to know. I'm sure you'll be worried over it, but please let me take care of you as well. MC I hope it doesn't ever get to that. Rindou Speaking of rain, are you alright? It rained a bit a while ago in the morning. MC I was fine. Did Rindou-san get drenched this time? Rindou I had an umbrella with me today, but before I knew it, the rain stopped, and suddenly... Between the buildings, I was able to see a rainbow. It had been a while since I last saw one, so I was really happy to see it. I wish you were there. I wanted the two of us to see it together. I wonder what you would have said at that moment. I really can't hate the rain. The atmosphere during it is so nice. It feels like everything will be washed away as well. It's not good to be so easily swayed by the weather, despite having rain or not... But, if I'm able to see such a beautiful rainbow at the end, then I'll be happy. Like being able to see you smile. You're going to watch the show, aren't you? Please, I want you to keep your eyes on me. Please, only look at me, okay?

[eternalglacier]

Wow, this is still here...

And I'm also back after 7 years, huh... More experience, more maturity, but still the same luck with romance...

I've always thought I have been lucky with money and my career, but unlucky with love. And nothing has changed. These past 3 months has been yet another terribly "exhilarating" emotional rollercoaster, filling my heart with someone who I told myself from the start that it probably wouldn't work out. But somehow in these cases, my emotional side always has the veto over my logical side. So frustrating!!!!!

It's like I'm in a fucking K-drama or shoujo anime with a cheesy, overused storyline. Guy gets introduced to a girl by a friend, guy falls for the girl, girl falls for the friend and they start dating and voilà, a standard love triangle. The initial friend who set the guy on this quest turns out to be the final boss. Wow...

I thought she was my 高嶺の花子さん and was willing to accept her dating some イケメン, but then why did she choose HIM?? Just coz of one fucking letter? He couldn't even confess in person. He now lives overseas and probably won't be back (at least not soon and not without a lot of sacrifices). Having done two long bouts of long distance, my advice (setting aside my personal feelings): DON'T DO IT. And yet, she does. She wants to settle and have a family in 2 years, but is uncharacteristically committing her eggs (pun intended) to that basket. It's so fucking illogical I want to scream.

The timing of everything is what really gets to me - it's so perfect for making a maelstrom that I swear some higher power scripted it. Friend gives love letter to girl before he leaves, they unbeknownst to me start dating while I'm just about to go on a 2.5-week trip. She's all I can think about, and it was SO HARD not to buy everything for her. But I tried as much self-control as I could and limited myself. Had a whole longer-term plan fleshed out. Comes back, she loves the souvenirs, but... lets slip that she's seeing someone. 2 days before my FUCKING BIRTHDAY. *slow clap*. Literally, I was too late by 2-3 weeks, and now all the plans and things I wanted to do with her are ruined.

Emotionally just been spiralling the past week, especially seeing her 4 days out of 6 and really feeling the distance between her and me. "Maybe it's the language barrier?" "Maybe she's still not comfortable enough with me yet?", I try to convince myself with weak excuses. But part of me knows I just can't pour any more of myself into this. I need off this rollercoaster, even if it will hurt her and me and cause a bunch of collateral. Another part of me is convinced we can ride this out and get a happy ending, since all my money is on that relationship failing miserably from long distance.

One thing I'm now convince of - she's keeping her relationship a secret from me. She again let slip, this time part of his name, but she stopped herself from finishing it. She's told her girlfriends everything, who in turn (maybe out of pity) have told me some of those things. A lot, in fact. She doesn't know that I know, and maybe she'd be scared if she finds out how much I do know.

This situation is so fucked and I don't know what I should do. Actually, I do. The paths are clear, but what outcome my heart wants is not. I have a great support network, and I've gotten a lot of good advice. The more I think about it objectively, the more I can see that she's probably not "the one" for me and the path I should take is to move on. But that emotional side holding the veto is fucking annoying AF.

[oddinary4bts]

This is so effing devastating because i kinda did have the same experience with oc. Well, not exactly the same. The guy that I've been with was nowhere near JK.

We were flings for like 4 months at that time until he wanted it to be really official. I wanted it too. But I was afraid because the guy had a history of not being faithful with the girls that he have been with. But as we got to know each other, I've seen no signs of him being that certain someone that people talks about. Even his friends, told me that he definitely changed. I did believe them. I believed him.

Then he asked me if he can court me. I turned him down because one, I wasn't ready to be in a relationship, yet. Two, I can't really put my guard down and trust him fully to never break my heart. And Finally (the very important one), I have a very very very strict brother that would literally rain fire to those who would dare to, you know, hurt me. Not just my brother, I think my entire family, because you see, I'm a menopausal baby, the youngest, and as they describe them, the frailest. They are overbearing too, like Tae. And I don't really wanna do secret serious committed relationship with him even though i really like him.

I knew he got upset. But he said he would wait until everything is ready. When the coast is clear. He promised the world to me. And I did hold on to that promise. We still communicated even though I turned him down. Showing that he's kinda adamant with his words. And my family still knew nothing about him.

Not until one of my friends told me that he found out that he was entertaining some girls that liked him. Not just one, but THREE. His friends also knew and they told me. You can say that his friends were also disappointed when they found out. They don't tolerate such behavior which I'm super thankful for.

And then I confronted him about it. I was hurt. But then i got over it not that long because i held back myself from trusting him too much to avoid being attached you know. He even said that " we weren't official, you knew i was ready for it all but you turned me down" a total prick, i guess. But I knew I also had a fair of fault for hurting his pride and ego. But that's not an excuse for betraying me. He should've ended things with closure with me before going around entertaining girls while i was still in the frame.

and that was a year ago tho, and i told my brother about it. he was angry at first but then now we would laugh about it. he made me promise though that if ever there would be a guy that would possibly be in my life, may it be a crush or something, i should always tell him from now on. and i did promise him.

hasagdhsagdgahg i'm so sorrryyy for the veryyy long ask, i didn't mean to. i lovee you ella.

Don’t worry about the long ask bby!! I’m sorry that happened to you🥺🥺 I hope you find someone much better for you✨