#the second season was just not it IM SORRY FOR SPEAKING MY TRUTH

[legostarrynight]

am i the only one that isn’t upset about ofmd not getting a s3 or will i get run off of tumblr for saying that

[bmpmp3]

literally such a tragedy what channel zero did to search and rescue woods youre telling me the author lost the publishing rights for THAT like im still so mad. we could have had a book. we could have had a book

[amelia-jane-writes]

Sometimes I'm okay pt1

Sorry if this sucks, it's my first work on here. Also its set during that episode in season 2 where Derek's in jail.

tw: swearing, jail, mentions of death ig

Derek Morgan was in deep shit.

First off, he had been in Chicago for the past few days and hadn't came to say hello to you at all. In fact, he seemed to have been avoiding your area of town all together. Secondly, he was sat in a prison cell.

The first point could be explainable. You'd had an argument before he left last year. You weren't in the wrong, but maybe you hadn't been in the right either. He just wanted you to move with him to wherever it was that he lived. To this day you still didn't know why you'd said no.

You had walked very calmly -not at all- right up to where Carl was conversing with the detective.

"Where in the hell is he?" You asked. The detective didn't like me much, but he didn't like many of the kids in the area.

"Alright, just wait one second lady, you can't just storm in here and start demanding things."

You just rolled your eyes, knoeing that the detective owed you. "I want to see him."

Carl spoke up. "I understand that you're upset, we all are. I mean, Derek never seemed like the kind to do this."

You stared at him for what felt like a god few minutes but in reality was just a couple of seconds.

"Carl you listen to me, you are ten times more likely to have murdered those boys than he is." You turned back to the detective, ignoring the burning feeling of eyes on your back. "And I said that I wanted to see him."

"I'll see what can be done."

He walked away, using his brain for once. You turned towards the group of people eying your back, not at all in the mood to be dealing with cops.

"The hell are you staring at?"

A few of them made themselves look busy, as if they hadn't been staring. A tall lady with dark hair came closer though, and asked, "Do you know Derek Morgan?"

"You could say that. Why? Who are you?"

"I'm Special Agent Emily Prentiss, I'm on the same team as Morgan in the FBI. If you could tell us anything that would help with proving his innocence then that would be amazing."

"I can't tell you anything darling, just that the detective knows damn well that it wasn't Derek."

Anything she would have said then was cut off by the detective returning, grabbing you arm and saying, "Five minutes. Make it fast."

You stepped into the interrogation room, it was a few degrees colder than the outside, and spotted Derek sat against the wall.

"Derek." It would've been comical how he jumped but instead it was just concerning since he was FBI. He quickly stood up and came towards you, but stopped himself before he got too close.

"(Y/N)," He said and you couldn't tell if the tone in his voice was one of relief or something else, something more panicked. "What the hell are you doing here?"

"Better question Derek, why are you sat in a cell? And I only have five minutes so you better make it fast."

He sighed running a hand across his face. "They think I killed those boys. Happy? Now get out."

"No. I also want to know why the hell you've been coating me for the past year. Like I know that we argued but Jesus."

"I was busy. The FBI doesn't give many days off. Besides im sure this placce hasnt been too bad. How's life treating you here in dear Chicago baby? Hmm? Bet you wish you'd taken me up on my offer now."

You took a step closer to him. That hurt a bit. He knew exactly why you needed to get out of here and it was the people. You hated them. In truth, you did wish that you'd moved wish him and away from here, but you would never admit that.

"You're being very mean to me today Derek. Why's that?"

He just sighed again before coming closer and whispering, "Come on, you know that that detective will spin anything he can to get you arrested. This? You're plotting what to do since I got caught."

You didn't speak for a moment, no words were needed. Then, "Who do you think it was?"

He just looked at you in a way that told you everything you needed to know. "They're trying to dig into my past baby. You can't let them."

You hesitated, tripping over your words and bringing up a hand to rest on his cheek. "Maybe, just maybe, it'll help."

"(Y/N). Please. Help me out here."

"So what do you want me to do? Stick around or get out of here."

He smiled even though it wasn't funny. "Just stick around. Ask them if you can help then go home. I'll drop by when I get out. I promise."

"You gotta pinkie promise or it isn't trustworthy."

He grinned, this time he seemed happier, and held out his hand with an extended pinkie and you hooked mine with his. Then a guard came back into the room and told you that you had to leave.

You smiled back at Derek then followed the guard, with a backwards glance to try see him through closing doors.

Pt2 soon

[scheodingers-muppet]

in honor of speak now tv about to drop, im bringing back my stranger things taylor song casting. i wrote a lot of this on my phone after listening to the album so apologizes for grammar errors or anything

mine: ronance, from Nancy's POV. Careless man's careful daughter. Sitting there by the water mirroring the boat scene. You learn my secrets and you figure out why I'm guarded. In the music video, we see the couple fighting when things get tough outside of the relationship, which we've also seen Nancy do, both when she was struggling with Barb and fighting with Jonathan when dealing with sexism from her job.

sparks fly: lumax. Max is the rainstorm, Lucas the house of cards. "I'm on my guard for the rest of the world, but for you, I know it's no good"

back to december: stancy; but just Nancy apologizing for how things ended, not them getting back together. "that night" not just being the Halloween fight but her cheating on him. I think she would feel bad about how things ended and I really want them to talk everything out in season 5. Plz. Also the line, "I miss your tan skin, your sweet smile...how you held me in your arms that September night, the first time you ever saw me cry" Obv with the tan skin and smile, but I hc that after Nancy told Steve what happened to Barb, he held her while she cried

speak now: byler, from Will's pov. Not in a literal wedding sense (though that might make a fun fic...) but more of Mike asking Will for advice about El and Will just finally coming clean. Maybe it doesn't go great and he doubles down with El and it causes some tension or maybe the roles are reversed and Mike comes clean then panics and doubles down and Will is trying to get him back

dear john: Joyce about Lonnie. I hate this man.

mean: El about Angela. Imagine if before the roller skate incident, she confided in Joyce and she told her to just confront her with her words, ya know? Like just call her out for being mean. Then when that doesn't work, she thinks, "well, what would Hopper tell me? Gotta fight back." Makes my heart melt

the story of us: Mike and El, from El’s pov. I just really feel like El would use story tails and romance stories, etc. to compare love to. This song to the letter fight just... ugh.

never grow up: Nancy. First verse to Holly, how she knows what's ahead, both in terms of alternate dimensions and being a teenage girl. She doesn't want her to have to deal with either of the two, just to stay little while she can. Second verse to Mike, seeing him start to become more of an adult and secretly missing her annoying kid brother. (brings more punch to the line “all your little brothers favorite songs”) Third verse takes place after she graduates, moving for school. Her night light mentioned in the verse was her graduation/farewell present from Holly, who says she's a big girl now and doesn't need it.

enchanted: elmax! From Max's POV. Imagine the second verse is them having a sleepover, playing truth or dare. I also love the use of referencing the story tail love metaphor again

better than revenge: stommy; Tommy singing about Nancy. idk it’s the closest I could get.

innocent: Steve and Nancy. First verse is about Nancy (lost your balance on a tight rope, lost your mind trying to get it back. wasn’t it beautiful when you believed in everything and everyone believed in you. , second about Steve. bonus points if you imagine them singing this to each other (not in a romantic way)

haunted: lumax (I’m sorry) Lucas begging for her to come back after her attack. Trying to move on and be happy but he can’t get over her. the chorus too, “somethings gone terribly wrong” “your eye’s gone cold” the bridge too “you’re not gone, you can’t be gone” you can also imagine it as like, she lives but can’t face the party without thinking about what happened too

last kiss: stancy / mike and el (parallel!) I think I’m gonna write up a post about all the parallels I see in the characters and dynamics, but I really love this one. Steve being El and Nancy being Mike. The Wheelers having severe issues with love (specifically saying the word) and hurting those who are head over heel for them. I see this from all of their perspectives, switching based off the lines. first verse is mileven (the plane line, “sit on the floor wearing your clothes” we’ve seen El wear clothes from pretty much everyone in the party) the second verse is stancy from Nancy’s pov (life of the party, “i’m not much for dancing, but for you i did” listing things he did she loved without saying “i love you”) bridge is rapid fire switching. “so I’ll watch your life in pictures like i used to watch you sleep” mike (bylers take a lot of family photos; i can imagine him seeing her in photos will sends) “i feel you forget me like i used to feel you breathe” steve “and i’ll keep up with our old friends just you ask them how you are” el “i hope it’s nice where you are…it’s a beautiful day” nancy (i think she feels bad for how things ended)

long live: the whole party. they deserve to feel like hero’s and royalty after everything they’ve been though. i desperately need to find an edit to this

ours: Steddie. the town hates eddie atm and would probably not take well to king steve dating him. the lines “i love the riddles that you speak” and “any snide remarks from my father about your tattoos will be ignored” i can also see lumax, but this is just such a light hearted song to me so i didn’t want to compare it to the racism we’ve seen be thrown at lucas and his relationship

superman: jopper. i love the idea of joyce hyping him up as her superman. also based on my parents (my dad was a first responder and this song always made me think of them for the “saving the world” aspect) “he’s not all bad like his reputation” i’m ignoring the sad parts and just focusing on the “go be a superhero, i’ll be here when you get back”

electric touch: steddie. eddie’s taylor, steve is patrick. “this could either break my heart or bring it back to life” “got a history of stories ending sadly” (eddie) “everytime i tried for love, it fell apart” (steve)

when emma falls in love: robin. i have no real proof, it just reminds me of her. i love the image of steve saying all of this about her ❤️❤️ (obvs pronouns change and stuff)

i can see you: steddie (it’s a very steddie coded album, leave me alone) from steve’s pov, talking about how he’s always had a crush on eddie and always noticed him but it breaks eddie’s brain fhat king steve has a crush on him

castles crumbling: steve angst time. talking about his “fall from social grace” and how he lost everything, both in terms of reconciling what he lost from being a jerk as king steve and what he lost when he was dethroned

foolish one; byler. “stop checking your mailbox for confessions of love” “it’s delicate but i’ll try my best to seem bulletproof” “maybe someday when we’re older this is something we’ll laugh about” “you haven’t written me or called” “i’ll get your longing glances but she’ll get your ring”

timeless; jopper. soul mates for real

[supercriminalbean]

Things that made me insane during criminal minds evolution:

Written while I watched so enjoy my bumbling mess. Spoiler alert of course.

Episode 8:

Okay I know AJ director this episode but um....why is the flash back based on JJ and Will it makes me uneasy. I'm scared and I'm not even 30 seconds in.

This season is fucked up.

Ahhh Dave and Penelope!! Him knowing when she's stressed or hasn't slept well makes my heart flutter.

He is such a dad (fucking daddy)

Him not believer her about work stress haha he knowsssss.

Atleast he didn't walk into it this timeeee.

David's voice drives me hornyyy I mean madd.

At first glance I thought that was Emily and was about to lose my shit.

Michael is so old....what the hell... Henry... I I know they are old but I...it feels wrong please so wrong. I'm so old now 😭😭😭

What if Will is working with sicarius...

Henry... my heart is aching for you. I also had to ear drop on my parents alot.

Fuck I love sircarius he's so smarttt.

61 people fuck... that's hot.

EMILY OPENING QUOTE YESSSS

I love her hair ahhh.

Ahhh we love Paul. Paul you are fucking awesome.

Awww TARA AND LUKE HIII I missed you.

Damn Penelope in that dress she looks beautiful.

OMGGG GUYSS THEY KNOW WHO LEE IS THEY KNOW THE UNCEL FUCKING FINIALLY.

2ND STREET EVERYONES FACE. Please

No Luke don't question her, his face when he realized and IMMDENITLY turning to his best friend.

Tara repeteing it and nodding like yes she is my friend and I'm sorry it's not with you.

I PAUSE IT TO WRITE THE LUKE AND TARA THING AND SAW A FAMIKY ON TV AMD WAS LIKE HA THEY GONNA DIE. BUT ITS MY FAMILY ITS JJ AND WILL. IM SCARED!!!!

Can we before I push play talk about how I'm so proud of JJ for taking time off and looking after herself my little love.

Henry looks so sad. JJ doesn't get enough scene to be mum and I want more.

JJ please just tell him the truth he desever it, he already has alot going on with your two jobs please.

I relate to much to Henry and it hurtssss.

Tara and Luke yesss.

Knew it!! Parent killerrrr.

The way Emily sighs before ordering people around.

I know, I KNOW. It's bad but my hopes are up for an Emily and JJ moments where Emily helps JJ with her family issues....

Ew the jet.

Ahh did Garcia low key children swear with 'what the actual F?'

This season I need her to drop the proper F bomb and for Rossi to language her. PLEASEEE.

Is anyone else shock with hoe Luke and Tara are in more than 2 scene this episode I love but woww the writers know how to do this.

Rossi 🥺😍😭😭 I love you. The way you speak to victims family make my heart yeet.

What did Rossi see... ooh my love you so smart.

But my lovers are smart.

The way thoes two speak to each other make me wanna ahhh I love them both go much.

Rossi saying bitchy

Okay thoes two thoes two!! I cabr even explain it but best scene ever.

Her still saying he needs threpy is beautiful.

I figures out the reason why I love thoes two,its like the voices in my head talking.

Fuck I love Rossi and Garcia to much its not okay.

Rossi is suicidal driving towards him like that fucking hell. GO TO THERAPY.

Garcia calling him beautiful creatures ahhh

Oohfff old school his smile aww when he pushes Luke.

Will and Henry 💔😭😭😭

They kill Will off I'm sueing

Henry just a kid but oh his little heart has gone through so much...

JJ I want you to hold me like that.

So Rossi just got himself kill that's cool cool cool cool cool beans cool cool cool as.

do you uh...uh think he will get kidnapped and almost die and when he wakes at the hospital it's his best friend sitting there holding his hand... aka hotch...

Or Reid will come from where ever he is and help get Rossi ass back.

[nat-20s]

8 for jmart?

#8- constantly cheacking their messages for words from the other

what else was I gonna do? here's some classic ol' season 3 pining babey

Hello Martin. This is Jon. I have gotten a new phone after losing my last one, please put in the new number.

It's a simple message. Straightforward, factual, and utilitarian. There is no reason that pressing send should make his heart race. There's especially no reason that the second he sends it off, he's tempted to lie on the deeply uncomfortable, likely bedbug infested motel mattress staring at his screen until he gets a response. Sure, he's sick of being overseas, and he's sick of being so isolated, and he's sick of running, but he's not...desperate for what little companionship can even be provided by words on a screen.

He does miss Martin, though. He misses Tim as well, but in a manner that's significantly more complex and knotted than the simple desire to be around him.

God, when did he start wanting to just be around Martin? He started being aware of that want when he was at Georgie's, but he has no idea when the want itself actually started. That was probably something he should examine. Technically speaking, that is something that he has time to examine, but he doesn't want to examine right now. Right now, he wants the comfort of perhaps one of the only people out there that doesn't want to kill him, or use him, or both.

Martin, whether through somehow sensing Jon's discontent from nearly 4000 miles away or, more likely, through a general dutifulness inherent to his character, only takes a few minutes to reply. Oh good! it'd been a little bit since hearing from you, we were somewhat worried. putting you in my contacts as we speak :)!

Saying that "we" were worried is almost certainly generous on Martin's part, but Jon feels no need to point that out. Instead he turns on his side and stares at the phone. He particularly focuses on the smiley face, ridiculously charmed by the fact that, despite everything, Martin hasn't lost his predilection for emojis. Two years ago, he would've rolled his eyes, maybe thought something snide about professionalism. It wouldn't have been fair, as Tim used to do the same thing and he thought nothing of it, but he wasn't fair back then. Now, he simply wonders if he can get away with sending one back.

Before he can respond, Martin sends another message. Are you actually alright? I realized I was kind of assuming that losing your phone was the only reason you were MIA, but is anything else going on?

Damn. He tends to forget how perceptive Martin can be. What, exactly, Martin had perceived in that first message, Jon couldn't be sure, but apparently there was something that tipped him off to the..eventful last week he'd had. He really, really doesn't feel like getting into all of that right now, especially not over text, so instead he replies a mostly truthful I'm fine.

Then, squinting at the screen and realizing that might come across as a dismissal, he adds, Well, other than trying not to contemplate the general sanitation practices of a motel that clearly hasn't updated it's decor since the 70s. I'm suspecting the sheets are much the same.

He doesn't know how Martin will react to the message. He can't see the face he'll make, won't know the tone of his voice. However, he likes to imagine that Martin will at least smile. Maybe he'll even give that breath of a laugh, the one that sometimes happens when Jon's being lightly acerbic and it's not directed at him. He doesn't know, but he does hope for it. Martin texts back Oof. Maybe sleep on top of the covers tonight, yeah?, and Jon thinks that he might have guessed Martin's reaction correctly.

Christ, who knew all it took was a combination of jetlag and threats to turn him into a sap. He needs to sleep. He really needs a deep, proper, uninterrupted sleep, one lasting a minimum of eight hours and ideally closer to fifteen. Checking the time, it would be a fairly reasonable time to sleep, especially with the early start he has tomorrow. He considers sending off a quick good night message, but then has the realization that as reasonable as it is for him to be asleep right now, it's just as unreasonable for Martin to be awake. Are you alright? Good lord, Martin, it's almost 4am over there. Did I wake you?

Barely 30 seconds pass before he gets back no, you're good!

A beat, then a follow up message. I've had a irregular sleep schedule since I was like 16. A lot of evening and night shifts had a lasting impact u know? Working at the institute made it a bit more consistent but it's still p rare that i sleep the same eight hours night to night.

Jon's starts to text back something sympathetic; he's had his own struggles with both in- and hyper- somnia, but his phone buzzes in his hand before he can finish it.

Sorry! That was uh probably more information than you wanted.

Well, that just won't do. Even if there wasn't a part of his brain that had recently started collecting facts about Martin like they were precious jewels instead of mostly mundane stories, he doesn't want Martin to think he can't talk to him about things outside of the standard bounds of coworkers. Not at all. We're friends, Martin, I enjoy learning about you.

His brain wants to catastrophize the second he presses send. For the first minute that Martin doesn't reply, he doesn't let it. After the second minute, he allows the minor worry to become more severe. Had it been too much? Were they friends? Jon certainly thought so, but what if Martin wasn't in the same boat? Their interactions had been entirely friendly for months now, but what if that was just Martin being polite? God, what if Martin still thought of Jon as his boss, nothing more?

Ten minutes. It takes ten minutes for Martin to finally respond, and Jon has almost called him four times to explain himself. Ten minutes, and the first response is only Oh!

Then: Cool

Well, that's not a "piss off and die", but it's not exactly comforting. Jon doesn't know how to reply, staring at the words on his screen and not entirely sure if he's fucked up or not. Fortunately, Martin's not done responding, and the next message is much, much better.

Hey uh. Feel free to say no I know it's getting late over there but. Im not getting back to sleep for the rest of the day and itd be nice to actually hear you. Would you be okay with a call?

Without a moment's hesitation, he texts back Yes!, exclamation and all, because he's become someone he barely recognizes. The phone rings just as immediately, and he feels his entire body relax at Martin's first "Hello?"

Things are difficult right now. Things have been difficult ever since the promotion that was a curse in disguise. The world is filled with monsters he barely understands. He wishes he was home despite the fact that he barely recognizes it, as filled with tension and strife as it is. There's so much to discuss, so many things they should be hammering out. But right now, the threats are not pressing. Right now, he can hear about the bad true crime documentary Martin half-watched before he got Jon's texts, and Jon can bitch about the three different "pip pip cheerio" comments he's gotten since coming over seas. Right now, and for the hour before Jon drifts off, breathing slow and deep, he can pretend that this is an ordinary phone call, in an ordinary world, between two people who simply miss each other an extraordinary amount.

[sherbet-shark]

Out of the blue thought that I needed to ask you, how do your OCs blush 0w0? (Do they turn away do they let it show do they turn into a tomato or a faint dust of pink etc)

What’s the fuss?

Author’s note: HI RRAS IM SO SORRY THIS CAME LATE 😱😭 THANK U FOR ASKING ABOUT MY BABIES

Monica depending on what she’s blushing about and the situation, has two modes; look away, flustered, with pursed lips and fiddle with her fingers/hair and roll her eyes orrr you’ve found something really embarrassing abt her or you’re Jamil, and you said something nice/sweet to her. Close friends like @millybesippin’s oc, @hey-its-cweepy, and Phoebus, for example, see her do a second one sometimes. The second one is just her full one covering her face with either her hands or entire face planted into her arms on a table. If Monica doesn’t have a table to face plant on, she’ll scoff whatever’s making her blush and sputter out a response. It really depends on the severity of it xD. Her skin is a little dark, so she’s grateful that her blushing cheeks so too much. But that doesn’t mean her cheeks aren’t burning up like a volcano!! Overall her reactions are very cute.

Oh boy. This guy xDD, his cheeks are bright and deep red and he makes some effort to hide them in his hand. Its almost laughable, seeing this bad boy be reduced to a blushing mess. This only happens when you shower him with compliment after compliment. He has a talent of knowing if you’re telling the truth or not but if Zane’s gut feeling says you’re being true. Oh man. Zane cups the bottom half of his face and looks away with a flustered gaze towards the ground and will try to refute it. But if he’s comfortable around you to let his facade of “R.S.A Bad Boy,” slip, he’ll have this hUGE boyish grin on his face, his freckles subtly stand out when he’s this bright red but it’s so endearing. His coffee brown eyes will shine with what’s akin to childhood joy. But it won’t last for long I’m afraid. So you better drink up all of his blushing face whilst you can, my dear!

Leif, the cutie. He has no idea how to handle his blushing. In his young life, he worked as a delivery boy for his father for his work, and while he did interact with kids his age. His father tried to make his son happy and have an everyday life, but at the end of the day. He’d be bone tired and play with him only a short time. It was quite rare for him to have a lot of friends on delivery and before his father’s marriage into the Trein Family. Once he did have wasn’t the best… As he’d soon know. Due to this, Leif has kind of made an arm's length between them and himself. As his dad married Trein’s daughter, Leif had two step-brothers. But because of how starkly different they are, the twins never tried to make him blush. However, let’s say he does madly blush. This usually occurs when he’s complimented on his skills like sewing and his innate ability to speak to all sorts of rodents. His fair cheeks burst into red, and the nape of his neck gets warm too. He’ll rub the back of his neck and avoid all eye contact.

Shu, the bastard, owns it like a boss 🤣. His students might tease him over a “purposeful” mispronouncing a name, and he just brightly smiling, his cheeks if you look hard enough, you’ll see his cheeks deepen. His skin’s on the darker side as well especially in the warmer seasons, so you rarely see him burst into flame, but there are other tell-tale signs. Press his buttons too much with teasing and he might get snippy with you, Shu doesn’t mean to. But it does remind him of his brothers constant “teasing,” and it makes him feel small. So,, try to be cordial and considerate of what’s too much…

Like Leif, this little guy doesn’t handle blushing well, but he has sisters, sooo, and he’s teased a lot. But all in good fun, I assure you!! His cheeks burst to life. He’s a deep red, much like the red rose he’s lovingly nicknamed after. He’ll cling to his Dodo stuffy and press the soft toy to his face, trying to hide his adorable face. If he doesn’t have Cap. Dodo by his side (which is extremely rare) he’ll cling to his parents or Big Brother’s leg and hide behind them. When Tiflo sees his baby brother cling to his leg, he’ll gently pat his head and coo that he has the cutest little brother. But when his sisters are the ones teasing him, Vitaa especially. Rosie’s fair dusted red cheeks will puff out and he’ll cross his arms. When he’s older though, Rosie will still be blushing madly but shyly look away as he pushes up his glasses.

Tagging: @angry-strawberry-pie

[nonstoplover]

protagonist ~ joe liebgott (band of brothers)

my masterlist  |  my hbo war masterlist

pairing: joe liebgott x female reader

short summary: joe's assigned to search for the perfect house for easy's hq in the new town they'll soon arrive to on their way through germany and finds one with a girl in there who's like the protagonist of one of the comics he's read - courageous, fearless, heroic.

words: 2.5K

a/n: first of all, sorry for disappearing, exam season has started at my uni and i've been hella busy these past weeks (and gonna be for the following few as well,  u g h ).

anyway this fic came around from a conversation i had with the lovely @now-im-a-belieber when i was telling her about an idea i had and she technically came up with the base of this. thank you, Pearl, i love you xx (i hope i did justice to your idea)

oh and let's just say i have no clue if this would have been possible, at least the exact way i wrote it.

taglist: @how-are-those-nuts-sarge @50svibes @pennyllanne @nowinnablewar

gif credit: @basilone

Four loud bangs sound against her front door right as she starts washing the dishes after they finished lunch. With her eyes widening in surprise she rushes back into the room, telling the family of three to hide as she's drying her hands in her apron before making her way to the door.

After taking a deep breath she grabs the handle and opens it. The next thing she knows is being pushed to the side as a figure storms in past her without a word. A gasp leaves her lungs as her back lightly collides with the wall, head turning to watch as the soldier barges in the house.

What is going on? Has someone found out about them?

With a hand reaching behind her back she pushes herself off the wall and hurries behind the man. Trying hard to sound completely calm and innocent she asks him what is going on, but he only barks back something almost inaudible - only a few German words reach her ears.

The soldier is moving with such speed that she hasn't got a single chance to get a better look at his uniform as he's entering every room one by one. Who is he? Worry swiftly floods her veins - more importantly, what is he looking for?

She can only pray the family has had enough time to properly hide.

As he reaches that door, she holds her breath back, repeating her little prayer like a mantra inside her head. The man comes to a sudden halt just as he steps through the doorframe and in an instant fear makes her blood turn freezing cold. She carefully moves closer to glance inside next to his body, not knowing what to expect.

And what she sees makes everything else in her mind disappear - just the thoughts of all hell breaking loose any time now move around inside.

Her best friend crouches on the other side of the room, clearly frozen mid-movement as her body is still half out of the hiding spot, eyes wide as she stares at the soldier, not a single muscle moving. It's like everyone's got frozen in time, none of the three people makes a move.

Liebgott's mind slow to catch up to what he sees - he didn't expect to see that as he rushed through the house. He's only been trying to decide whether it's a good place for Easy's HQ, as he has been ordered to do when Winters sent him ahead of the company.

His eyes then start moving around the room, trying hard to find a good reason as to why that girl is half inside the wall. A book is laying on the table next to the door, open at around the middle. With one glance at the pages he recognises the letters of the hebrew alphabet, and suddenly it all makes sense.

She's a Jew.

His breath hitches in his throat as he struggles to comprehend this new information, and just in that very moment the silence is broken by a voice. And it's not coming from either of the two girls in the room - more like it's coming from inside the wall.

One simple sentence, ending with a Yiddish term of endearment - one he can perfectly understand. It came from a woman, asking the girl crouching facing him from across the room why she's stopped moving.

There are more Jews in there.

His lungs fill with a sharp breath he's taken and he spins around, staring straight at the girl who opened the front door only minutes prior. The question must be clear in his eyes as she starts stammering in defense, her voice audibly shaking.

Joe shakes his head, stopping her mid-sentence. "No, they're Jews, I can see it," he says in perfect German, and the already pale girl suddenly seems even whiter.

He swiftly grabs her arm and pulls her in the direction he remembers finding the dining room in, trying to find a chair for her to sit down on, as she's visibly close to fainting - though the reason behind it he can't find.

(y/n) flinches with utter fear, weakly trying to resist being pulled away - he most probably is now taking her away to kill her, right? He's a German soldier, that's what his job is. But no matter how hard she tries to wiggle away, his grip is too tight around her arm and she can't do a thing.

Just when they arrive to the dining room and he kind of pushes her into one of the chairs is when Joe realises that she's scared of him - she immediately pushes the chair further away from him as soon as he lets go of her. So that's why she's shaking so bad.

"No, wait, don't be scared," he rushes to say. "I'm a Jew too."

This finally breaks the scaredness - instead her eyes fill with utter confusion. Her forehead wrinkles as she tries to make sense of what he's saying. How can a German soldier be Jewish? It makes absolutely no sense.

With a sudden wave of suspicion she moves her glance down to his uniform, examining every detail she can lay her eyes upon.

Is he not German?!

Suddenly she can see differences - details about his uniform that she's never seen on a German soldier before, and she's seen her fair share of those in the past years.

But if he's not German, who is he and what is going on?

She takes a still shaky breath and looks back up into his eyes - seeing the waiting expression on his face as he's standing there in patient silence for her to say something.

"Are you-" Her voice cracks mid-sentence. It's not good. She clears her throat and tries again. "Are you German?"

All of a sudden he bursts out laughing - so loud, and somehow so dark that her eyes widen once again. She just can't decide if it's from fear again, or only surprise.

A minute or so goes by with nothing but Joe laughing - this must be one of the most hilarious things he's heard in the past couple years. That he is a German.

Then his laughter finally quietens down to slight chuckling and he speaks up once more to confirm the truth. "No, of course not," he shakes his head in amusement. One look in her eyes tells him that somehow she still has no clue about his nationality, so he opens his lips again to give an answer to her question in advance. "I'm American. Don't worry, you're not in trouble for that," Joe points back in the direction of the room with the hiding spot above his shoulder.

A loud sigh escapes her lungs, her shoulder visibly falling a bit as she slumps more into the chair. It feels like years worth of stress and nervousness have just come to an end - it's truly like an enormous stone has rolled down from her chest and shoulders. She somehow feels free again for the first time in years.

Relief completely replaces the worry and fear in her veins as all other thoughts leave her mind. She's not gonna die. At least not today.

"They're Jewish," the soldier speaks again - and it's not a question. More like a statement.

(y/n) nods, unable to say a word as she's still overwhelmed with her new feelings.

"You're hiding them?"

She just raises an eyebrow, and Joe mentally slaps himself - what a stupid question. He could've might as well just asked her the colour of the wall.

"Since when you've been hiding them?" He corrects his question.

"Ever since the whole thing has started," she answers, her voice so quiet it almost disappears in the air between them.

"Wow," Liebgott breathes out before he can stop himself. He stares at the girl in disbelief. She looks so innocent and young - she's probably one or two years younger than him. How could she pull off something such a thing? Such a dangerous and pretty reckless thing?

"Esther is my best friend, she's been ever since we were little kids, they all are like a second family to me, I've spent most of my days with them," (y/n) explains, the relief causing her to ramble and Joe - for about the first time in his life has to struggle to keep up with the German words that come flying out past her lips. "I just had to help them, you know. I couldn't just leave them here."

"Where's your own family?"

"My parents left to France to be further away from the chaos, and my brother joined the Luftwaffe, and since then I haven't heard from none of them."

"Why didn't you leave with your parents as well?" The young soldier keeps asking, moving closer to the table and sitting down on a chair on the opposite side, facing her. Pushing his M1's strap down his shoulder he places the weapon on the table, pushing it only a little further in order to calm the girl more. He knows he probably shouldn't do this - and keep Winters waiting, but he's too curious to stop himself, he has to hear the rest of her story.

"I love this town, I was born and raised here," she shrugs as if it's obvious. "But more importantly, I didn't want to leave and let innocent people like my best friend's family suffer. I wanted to stay and fight back as good as I could."

Joe subconsciously mumbles under his breath before he can stop himself - words that praise her absolute bravery, words that give away his true feelings he suddenly feels towards her - then he has to move his gaze away from her, fearing that she sees the embarrassment in his eyes. He tries hard to think of another question while also trying hard to forget the look of the half-smiling expression that took over her face just a moment before - it does nothing good for his heart.

"Did you make that hidden room yourself?" He asks in the end, thinking back to what he saw in the room.

"Oh," she giggles - and it's the prettiest sound he's heard in a very long time. "No, my father made it when me and my brother were young and often played hide and seek. I just improved it a little so they can fit in more comfortably."

Liebgott hums, not knowing how to tell her - or if he should even tell her in the first place - how absolutely super impressed she left him with every single thing she's told him and what he's seen. It's one of the craziest things he has ever heard, and he had a fair share of unbelievable stories told to him in his life. He simply couldn't even imagine how on Earth this girl could manage to do this - and not get caught. Throughout the whole war.

In that very moment he swiftly decides that he'll go and find another house for the HQ, and that he'll somehow get back to this particular one, no matter what it takes. He wants to get to know her better. He has to get to know her better.

She's the most incredible woman he's ever heard of, read about or met. She's a woman who fits in the stories of the comics he's been reading his whole life - as the protagonist, the hero. He can't leave this town without hearing more about her, seeing her face more. That would be the biggest regret of his whole life, he can already tell.

But for now, he has to leave. It wouldn't be a good idea to keep his officers waiting even longer.

He stands up, fingers reaching out to grab his M1 before looking back into her eyes. Damn, he doesn't even know her name.

"I have to head back to my company, but I'll come back later, if that's okay with you."

Her eyes are already on his, seemingly staring straight into his soul with that intensity that lays in her (y/e/c) orbs. The girl then rises to her feet - still never breaking the eye contact.

Thoughts race inside her head, and it's like an angel and a demon are sitting on each of her shoulders, one telling her to say no whilst the other trying to convince her to say yes.

What if he only wants to use her? What if he only wants to sleep with her? Maybe force her to do so, threatening her with his knowledge of the Jewish family. He might not even be who and what he says he is. How could she know?

But on the other hand, there is this feeling she has about him. A feeling that tells her that nothing she previously thought will happen. She doesn't know what it is, but it's there, right in her chest, and she can't fight it. He seems genuinely curious and impressed, and honest. And she feels a pull towards him. She wants to see him again.

In the end, the devil on her shoulder wins, and she simply nods - right before she could change her mind.

"I'm Joe," the young soldier moves around the table, one hand held out towards her.

A glance cast down and right back up to his face she takes his hand and gives it a shake, holding onto it tightly, as if only to let him know how strong she actually is.

It probably works, 'cause he raises an eyebrow, slightly tilts his head and the corners of his lips curve up into the smallest smirk she's ever seen - but it's there.

"(y/n)," she eventually answers with her own introduction.

A few seconds pass and neither has let go of the other's hand, not yet. They just stand there, staring into each other's eyes, only the small noises of them breathin breaking the silence.

Then Liebgott blinks, clears his throat, pulls his hand out from her grip and instinctively places his fingers upon his weapon hanging from his shoulder whilst nodding towards her as a gesture of saying goodbye without words.

She watches as he turns around and walks out from the room, and after a tiny, happy sigh she follows the sound of his steps.

Just as he opens the front door and moves through it is when she arrives to the hall. Joe glances back over his shoulder for one last time, offering her a small smile, then looks back ahead of him and continues his walk as if nothing has happened. None of the past dozen of minutes.

(y/n) leans against the doorframe and watches him right until he disappears in the distance with a dreamy look in her eyes.

She can't wait until he comes back again.

.::the end::.

(might write a part two if i'll have time and you'd like to read it)

my masterlist  |  my hbo war masterlist

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[organic-guacamole]

episode 209 spoilers below

I'm so late today but here it is

I love EJ, he's finally learning to be happy. I'm so proud.

Ms Jenn = every boomer during zoom calls, like jeez yes we can hear you stop shouting at me.

LOVE THE SUBTLE JOKE ABOUT QUARANTINE "these dark times" "you mean spring break?"

ah yes, remember when we thought covid was just gonna give us a longer spring break? good times

SEBLOS

damn the passive aggressiveness from Carlos and the absolutely over it tone from seb✋

CASWELL COUSINS!!!!! THEY'RE THE BEST!!!!

we needed more if this kind of goofiness for the first part of season 2 that only such an iconic duo can provide.

old old movies-

is it even that old, or is Nini being a gen alpha rn-

i choose to imagine EJ being scared of the movie and hiding in Ashlyn's shoulder while she keeps a straight face and then EJ pretending to be tough afterwards

aww redlyn are soulmates.... yknow, if gingers had souls

(please ignore me)

y'all saw how EJ's face *lit up* when Gina logged on? how dare you tell me he doesn't like her

ofc she's no damsel in distress, she's Gina porter, she's amazing.

so do we think she'd be the type to just glare at suspicious people? or bark at them

do they not know that Rini broke up? or is Ms Jenn just wanting Nini to suffer through her heartbreak to make her a better actress....

speaking of, why is Nini in the call? she's not in the show anymore. Unless she is, even after the rose and the song got cut, which would be so unfair to all those that auditioned properly before she even came back but whatever, she's the main character I get it 🙄

big red is a hero honestly, Nini better thank him for changing the subject like that

I can't-

i won't work you over the break-

this woman would 100% work her kids 24/7 if it was legal and idk how to feel about it.

YES GINA USE THAT CHARM

QUEEN

FRENCH QUEEN

SHE LEARNT FROM THE BEST (antoine obvi)

smh the airport lady, eavesdropping on Gina's call.

The way she was so happy to answer EJ's call, "eej"

I love them your honour.

EJ WITH PAINTED NAILS YES PLEASE

great now we need to see Gina, Ashlyn and EJ having a complete spa day and EJ getting really into it and Gina and Ashlyn take pictures of him when he's laying down in a robe with a mask and cucumbers on his eyes.

finally we get to see Gina's side of portwell

the way she considered it as flirting, this is the sign she asked for in episode 6 come onnnnn

no is Asher/jack really doing tiktok dances in an airport-

Ricky is me. I am burrito.

oh Lynne, sweetie, I'm sorry but the blonde hair is not it

is that even the same lady or-

THE BEAN

THE CHICAGO BEAN

THE BIG OLD METAL BEAN IN THE MIDDLE OF THE CITY 😭

jetlag is my go to excuse for anything... I haven't travelled in 2 years.

"welcome to the Lynne and Mike gossip show. where we talk about our depressed son that we both neglect in certain ways! And now a word from our sponsor, Nord VPN..."

SO MANY CANDLES

WHAT DEMON IS LYNNE TRYING TO SUMMON IN HIS ROOM-

is Nina becoming social media obsessed EJ from season 1? AND SHE LIED ABOUT HAVING SONGS TOO PLEASE WHY ARW THEY RECYCLING THE SAME PLOT-

Gina smiling at the picture of her family on Instagram makes me so happy, idek why.

EJ's nails are so pretty, we needed to see it more (unless he had it on for the rest of the episode and I just.... didn't notice🧍🏽‍♀️)

oh not the tiktok kid✋

yes ma'am end this strange mans whole tiktok career

sir take a hint and leave

GINA NO DONT SAY YOUR LAST NAME HE COULD BE A HUMAN TRAFFICKER

Ricky, walking in style✨

weird kid, ok then Lynne, can't you see he's this close to the edge?

not all your fault baby Ricky, Nini sucks a bit more

RICKY YOU DIDN'T COME DOWN HARD ON THE SONG-

YOU ASKED WHAT IT WAS ABOUT AND SHE SHUT YOU DOWN-

PLEASE DO NOT BLAME YOURSELF

ok but the deleting comment thing was very bad

still don't know if I like Jack honestly

hmmm so Nini's calling herself Nini instead of Nina in her little egg seat, while trying to write a song without inspiration.... Nini, honey, Ricky was your muse, he inspired you to write all those songs, even if it wasn't good for the relationship.

that doesn't mean you gotta get back with him, or that you can't write a song that not about him butttt it'll take some time

the rainbow sticker in her box and her rainbow shirt-

anyways wbk she's not totally straight

Jack are you a criminal?

quick, Gina, check his ankle for a tracker

THE YES AND PRACTICE STRIKES AGAIN

the way Gina wasn't into it in episode 6 but she's used the technique twice now

stole her grandma's Pomeranian-

Jack where the hell did you pull that out from-

the fake crying killed me, that looks like so much fun though

anyone wanna raid a first class lounge with me?

wait so is jack not gonna go in with her?

wouldn't he go in too? help look for the credit card? SO CONFUSED

the first class lounge guy was so into the drama though, watch his face when they start arguing 😭

sorry to break this to you Kourtney, but you haven't even blocked the second act yet soooo...

take that as you will

I love how all of them are totally dissing the dance off

that's the most realistic part of this show tbh

shouldn't Nini have asked how she knew....since the start? why is the fact that her best friend has knowledge of a North high secret now dawning on her...

Howie is sweet honestly, at least he's trying to help. but I stand with Kourtney, don't take him back just because he sang an amazing song, and is giving you a heads up on what's gonna happen...

KOURTNEY IS ME TRYING TO LEAVE AN ONLINE CLASS

I hate school

ooo Nini's writing a song about bad internet connection 🤩🤩🤩

I never lie, except when I do-

son that is the creepiest thing you could say to a stranger that you've been "helping"

2 truths and a lie👀

he's an Ariana fan 100%

called it.

OLDER BROTHER-

WHAT-

free spirit? damn so brother porter was in that horse movie

so has she been kissed or not?????????

I feel like she's moved more than 15 times though so possibly

but then if she's moved so much, and before east high she never opened up to anyone, she's never been kissed then?? damn

same though Gina so let's be besties please

heartbreak president is a great song title idea, give Nini a call rn

but wait

is the no strings attached feeling thing about her telling Ricky she liked him? she thought she was moving away so she thought it'd be no strings attached???

guys I think I figured it out insert the "I've connected two dots" meme

THE DUKE SWEATSHIRT

IS THAT YOUR BOYFRIEND'S

OMG I LOVE I LOVE

NOT THAT I KNOW OF???

ma'am did you just kill me

yes you did

Lynne and Ricky have such a weird relationship

YES IT DID SUCK

TODD SUCKS

LYNNE SUCKS

yeah I get that you wanted Ricky to like Todd BUT THAT WASN'T THE TIME

right so we already know that Ricky was so desperate to keep Nini cuz he didn't want to be like his parents, and now Lynne's talking about this-

Richard needs a long hug

yes Lynne, it is your fault. thank you for finally admitting it.

YES DYE YOUR HAIR

BLOND HIGHLIGHTS RICKY WILL RISE AGAIN

"sometimes the best, last thing you can do for someone you love, is let them go."

gotta admit I teared up at that point

not me thinking big red was calling ms Jenn cupcake for a hot second-

Carlos please omg, you're at the "beach" and they're leaving for the pool?

also, why not just do the call from the hotel room please omg

"don't ask me"

"Carlos"

OMG WHAT HAPPENED

big red wants the tea

O M G

SEB IS JEALOUS

JEALOUS SEBBY IS MY FAVOURITE THING IDC

I'm surprised ms Jenn knew how to give Nini permission to screenshare tbh

So lily's been stalking the East high kids and spending time editing this video while she's supposedly in an immersion trip.... right

EJ and Ashlyn's picture is so chaotic, what even is happening there

"slacking off" bestie its spring break, obviously they're confident enough that they'll get it done in time so why not focus on your own musical.

jealous seb = sassy seb

please what if those guys Carlos is posing with are his cousins or something and that's why he's so confused about Seb

6 YEAR OLD EJ I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM

Nini saying she's obsessed with her ex, that's not weird at all 👍

I can just tell Matt had a blast harassing Julia with those puppets.

Jack please dont be like that, "yet"

chances are you'll never see eachother again 🥰

(honestly sometimes I really miss those friends I made on trips and stuff when we'd spend the day or week together, only to never see them again....those were the good days though)

Ashlyn and Nini should write more songs..... something better than this one at least

Nini: "im good"

cue the Tia Mowry (please I can't spell) crying gif

oh I forgot Ricky was in the show for a hot second

1. where did Gina get to film this without people being around

2. did she just... randomly change her clothes???

ok but the transition between Carlos and EJ

*chefs kiss*

now everyone shut up, EJ's singing

oh i think I'm pregnant

HIS MUSCLES

YES KOURTNEY

I love how big red and Kourtney went from being "the best friends™" to the couple in season 1, to kinda close themselves and having their own plots

sebby makes me so happy

props to biggies editing skills honestly

PORTWELL BEING SIDE TO SIDE I CANT

AND SEBLOS OMG

big red lives for the drama

"wow" so true Ricky

no he is not cute, stop it

"holding" ok that's kinda cute

yeah EJ's a lucky guy😌

jokes aside, it's not that hard to exchange numbers-

keep in touch if you want

ok I really like Jack now

if he comes back in season 3, maybe have him be LGBTQ+ ?

like the only out characters they have rn are Seb and Carlos and they're like the sterotypes, yk?

I'd love to see jack kinda break the mold

Ricky's breaking my heart

that song just hurts

the only thing

now I don't hate Lynne????????

HOW DARE THEY WRITE IN A PROPER REDEMPTION ARC FOR HER

UGH IM SUPPOSED TO HATE HER FOREVER

I mean I don't live her now but she's good

but honestly

"mom can I show you something"

IT WAS SO BEAUTIFUL

THE PICTURE AND EVERYTHING OMG

I'm sobbing please help

Gina saying she's just waiting for the right guy and then EJ coming to the airport to pick her up late at night without her asking, offering to bring her back in the morning so she won't have to Uber, bringing her a granola bar (WHICH IS EXACTLY WHAT SHE FORGOT TO PACK) and without expecting anything in return???

ms ma'am you've got a keeper right there

her smile at the end was so heartwarming I really can't.

this episode was great.

it felt really short but I liked it, great character development for Ricky, Lynne and Gina.

Cant wait for next episode to see more of EJ being the ideal boyfriend /hj

[artificialqueens]

Things That Were (Branjie) - pureCAMP

A/N - … Hi.

I won’t get into it, I don’t think I need to. But here’s a return no one expected, at least.

I wrote this based on some Feelings I have and also Jinkx’s song The Auld Lang Syne Song from… Christmas Queens 3? It has this beautiful sad, wistful, nostalgic kind of feel and it made me nostalgic for love and that strange time between Christmas and New Years. Largely sad, mostly bittersweet. Dedicated to my love Ortega, and in part for the nostalgia fic challenge.

I appreciate any and all support I’ve been given over these past months.

You have a new memory from (1) years ago!

Brooke swipes across absent-mindedly. She doesn’t think much about it, they pop up all the time in the holiday season. There’s a little loading screen, decorated with animated tinsel, that flashes in her face before every ounce of breath is knocked out of her body.

This is what dying feels like. Brooke wonders if there’s a loading screen before entrance into the afterlife. She supposes it would allow the dead some time to adjust, at least.

It’s a perfect, filtered picture. The Christmas tree looks beautiful, even as the pine dies, all decked in shades of red and gold, glittering twists and lights that twinkle gently enough to lull you to sleep. It stands tall in the background of the photo, illuminating everything with a cosy glow. At the forefront of the image, Brooke is that kind of happy, sleepy, warm drunk. Full of Baileys, probably, and little mini mince pies and leftover chocolate from boxes opened and half-finished. There’s a glass of red wine behind her, slightly visible on the table. She’s cradling Henry to her chest, kissing the top of his head.

Vanessa is next to her. The remnants of plum lipstick still on her lips, grinning, Apollo in her arms. She’s beautiful. She looks and feels like how Christmas is supposed to - welcoming, kind, gentle, sweet. And Brooke knows that she’s drunk too, and right after this she burst into laughter and her foghorn voice shattered the cosiness and it was so right and so them. And she knows how her stomach had twisted horribly after they took it.

It’s perfect. She won’t share this one. It will stay in her archives. It’s really been a year, huh.

The cats look at her accusingly, as if they know. They probably do know. They know everything about Brooke. Every flaw, every fault. If they could speak, she knows they’d ask for Vanessa instead of her. Well, tough. Vanessa’s gone, Brooke thinks, almost aggressively as if she’s trying to telepathically tell them so. Vanessa’s been gone for a year.

Or has she? Vanessa isn’t the one who left. Vanessa isn’t the one who walked out without warning, who pretended the bliss was as blissful as it looked and then ran from it all. No, no, that was Brooke.

She shuts off her phone, clicks the button to make the picture fade to black. The switch from warm and bright to black is jarring. It’s probably how Vanessa felt, waking up to an empty bed.

“Brookieeeeee,” Vanessa sings. She’s grinning, cheesing so hard that her eyes have disappeared, nothing but the flicker of a fake eyelash visible from them. “Brooklyn Briiiiiidge…”

Brooke turns, laughing, and waves away the whistles and teasing mumbles from their friends. “Vanjie?”

She pushes her lips together and makes kissy noises, wordlessly begging. Brooke gently holds her chin, lifts her head, kisses. She tastes like cinnamon and nutmeg and chocolate, a festive concoction of things that Brooke usually hates but loves on her. Vanessa looks amazing in gold and she’s an Oscar from head to toe, sparkling, beautiful.

Akeria makes pointed eye contact with Brooke, then mimes gagging herself with two fingers.

Vanessa rolls her eyes, the fondness on her face so evident that it could light up the entire bar. “I love you.”

And Brooke kisses her. The kiss says what it needs to.

Christmas a whole year ago. Brooke made a series of decisions. Stupid ones, maybe. Definitely. She doesn’t know who she’s kidding.

Funny how she finds it so hard to kid herself. Apparently, she had no issue kidding Vanessa.

A little while after Silky comments that Brooke really shouldn’t still be living in the shithole apartment she rented at 20, she realises that as rude and bluntly honest it had seemed at the time, she’s right. She resolves not to mention this to Silky, in case her ego inflates too far and she flies away like Aunt Marge (she thinks this with love), and starts looking online. And it’s impossible.

So out comes the phone, because there’s only one person to go to for this. For anything. Because she’s always there and she’s always willing and she only ever wants some quality time as payment.

B: Vanjie [8.22pm]

B: Vanjerella….. [8.22pm]

B: Vanessaaaaaa [8.23pm]

V: brooke lynn hytes [8.24pm]

B: Not the full name… am I in trouble? [8.24pm]

V: do u wanna be? ;) [8.24pm]

B: Hmm… I’ll think about it… [8.24pm]

B: Anyway I need your heeeeeelp [8.24pm]

V: i gotchu boo [8.25pm]

V: what u need baby [8.25pm]

B: Cutie [8.25pm]

B: I’m going apartment hunting, help me look? Idk what to even look for [8.25pm]

V: exciting!!!!!! [8.26pm]

V: babyyyyy this is so exciting for u omg!!! I love moving [8.26pm]

V: i hope i can help!! im usually terrible at this but i think we’ll have fun!! [8.26pm]

V: although i gotta wonder what made u ask me instead of somebody smart like nina [8.27pm]

B: Ah shit, great point nvm I’ll ask her [8.28pm]

B: Jk. Asked u because ur always here visiting, may as well find something u like as well <3 [8.28pm]

V: u bout to make a bitch cry [8.29pm]

Vanessa was over in maybe ten minutes tops, Brooke remembers. It was like she could read Brooke’s mind, and she’d brought coffee for them both to keep them going and even a little bag of kitty treats from the place she’d stopped at (“a guy was sellin’ them outside and I felt a little sorry for him in the cold so I bought ‘em. They’re good, the ones you usually get!”). They were up for hours scrolling, and then searching in person just so that she could act as a second opinion.

Brooke stands up from the couch and walks slowly, heavily, towards the window. Her Christmas tree is silver this year, silver and purple, and as pretty and icy as it had seemed when she decorated it, it feels cold and desolate now. It reflects on the glass and for a moment it’s hard to focus on the world outside when the world inside is so disturbed, but she manages. Dark as it is, the lights of the city are never gone, and she has a beautiful view of a metropolitan paradise laid out beneath her.

Vanessa loved the view. She picked it, in a way. Brooke was unsure about the viewing, and Vanessa wheedled, tugging her arm and telling her she’d love it.

She did love the view. But it was Vanessa’s view, that she saw first, that she loved first. Now it just makes Brooke feel sick. Sick at herself. Like it’s not hers to look at, and she shouldn’t.

She looks away.

A change of scenery helps to calm the mind, Brooke thinks. Nina told her that once, she vaguely recalls, as she sobbed helplessly into the arms of the only one who would listen. The only one who didn’t think of her as a raging evil bitch, and more of a hopeless coward instead. It’s not much better, but it’s a small comfort given how much she hates herself for it. She’s more inclined to go with what the rest of them all thought after it happened.

It’s late, anyway. Maybe it really is time to read a book and push down the thoughts and try to sleep away the regret.

“Oh god, oh god. Vane- fuck,” She breathes.

Waves of pleasure shoot through her, beginning deep in her belly and sending shockwaves all up Brooke’s back. Her hands grasp at the sheets around her head, desperate, clinging, her mind and body totally incognizant of each other. Her body is on fire, and her mind isn’t even functioning correctly.

Vanessa’s mouth is hot and fast and her tongue is skilled, and every time she grazes over her clit with the swift, feather-light touches Brooke thinks she’s going to pass out. Her fists grab tighter and her toes curl and a gasp floats from her lips, accidental, unstoppable. She manages to tear one hand away and threads it into Vanessa’s dark hair, urging her to keep going.

“Don’t stop, don’t stop, fuck…” She manages.

The goddess between her legs doesn’t stop, not until long after the inaudible mumblings have stopped falling from Brooke’s lips and her breaths are finally starting to slow, and she wonders how Heaven is meant to be above them when she feels herself sinking into it right now. Brooke thinks absent that maybe Heaven is here and everything else is Hell because nothing feels like being with Vanessa feels, and when they’re naked and intertwined and breathless and warm maybe they’re closer to God than they’ll ever be.

She catches herself before three words make their way out.

“God, this fucking mattress…” Is what she ends up producing. It’s digging into her back, lumpy and old. She’s only just noticed, in truth.

Vanessa’s head lifts, her makeup smudged in a way that feels beyond sinful to look at. She licks her lips coyly, sucks off her finger, and offers a lazy, heady sort of smile.

“The mattress? That’s all you got, boo?”

She’s laughing, happy, delirious. Brooke laughs too. “I don’t have to say anything about you. Isn’t the state of me enough?”

It is. On her back, chest peppered with bruises not yet formed, chest rising and falling beyond her control, legs still twitching slightly. Brooke’s completely spent, blissed out, exhausted. Vanessa’s still worn out from hers and yet her tongue is musical and the melodies were handcrafted by all the muses of the ancient world.

Still smiling, Vanessa shifts so she’s hovering on top of Brooke and then leans down to kiss her, their bodies colliding, Brooke tasting herself on the lips of her lover. It’s nights like these that make her feel like the world is a good place to be. That everything is fixable, everything is brilliant.

“We should get you a new mattress, baby,” Vanessa tells her when they break apart. “And I’ll probably never leave.”

Brooke forces a laugh, but the idea isn’t laughable. Vanessa and Forever go hand in hand, somehow.

And they do go shopping for a mattress for Brooke’s place. They wander through stores and discuss mattress firmness and size and height and flop down until they feel as though they’re ready to drop, and then Vanessa lands on one and yells “BROOKIE!” so loud that her voice - that goddamn voice - almost shatters the glass. She’s laying down with a beam on her face like nothing Brooke’s ever seen, pure sunshine, and she clearly has the best taste in mattresses because when she buys it, Brooke’s never slept so good in her life.

The bed is cold. Brooke deserves a cold bed. She left Vanessa in one, so it’s the least she can deal with it.

They weren’t always at Brooke’s - sometimes it was Vanessa’s too, for the sake of variety. Looking back on those memories makes Brooke feel like the biggest idiot in the world. Which she is, of course, and she knows it. But even here, the mini Christmas tree is cold and isolated, and Vanessa gave it to her as an early gift last Christmas, and Vanessa chose the mattress, and Vanessa picked the view. Brooke stares at everything that Vanessa has touched in her life and wonders why in the world she let herself ruin something so good. It’s selfish and stupid and self-sabotaging and that angel of a woman deserves so much more.

She thinks about sharing the picture. She could caption it with that song, ‘Now I’m in the house you chose and the bed you bought to face your perfect view’, and that could be her apology. Because she knows all too well she’s too much of a blind coward to say it properly. And Vanessa won’t see it even if she does share, because they’re not friends anymore. Someone will get it to her - probably Silky - but that’s not worth it.

Brooke opens her phone again, and swipes away from the picture before she does something stupid. Then she opens her texts.

B: Are you busy? [10.11pm]

B: Oh shit sorry, just saw Yvie’s insta, u guys are out tonight. Ignore this x [10.13pm]

N: No no! They’re out, I’m home because I was working all day and I was too tired :( [10.19pm]

N: What do you need hun? <3 [10.20pm]

B: If ur tired it’s okay, I’ll talk to u another time x [10.20pm]

N: Shut up. I’m here [10.21pm]

N: I think I know what’s going on. Right time of year [10.21pm]

B: I’m just an idiot, idk [10.22pm]

N: Nope. Stay where you are, I’m coming over. [10.22pm]

N: Did she text you? [10.24pm]

B: She’s not that stupid lmao why would she [10.24pm]

Nina is the only one who bothered to ask what the hell was going on when it happened. It’s not like Brooke can blame the others, and she doesn’t either. If someone did that to her best friends, she would be the same. And she is the same - she hates herself passionately for it. But Nina has this untraceable kindness to her, this unfathomable tenderness that seems to have no beginnings, no ends, no limits. It flows so freely from her, like a gift.

She has no idea how much time passes by crying and looking blankly at her phone, or even any idea when she started crying, but the doorbell rings and Brooke answers it already in tears and Nina sweeps her into a hug like it’s the easiest thing in the world, and maybe it is. To love your friends is easy and natural, like taking a breath in clean air.

To love someone special is like inhaling in water, drowning, getting lost. And you have to be content with the helplessness in order to survive it, or at least strong enough to swim and keep it going. You can’t just sink. Brooke couldn’t handle drowning.

“I’m a fucking idiot,” She weeps into Nina’s arms, once her choking sobs settle into streaming tears. It’s not better, just different. “I wanted to be with her forever and that was so fucking scary.”

Nina rubs her back. “Breathe, breathe. It’s okay, it’s gonna be okay.”

“Is- is she okay?”

Stupid question. Brooke isn’t sure she even wants to know.

The hug finishes; they’re on the couch again. Nina pulls out her phone, frowning, and pauses like she’s thinking. She looks guilty, which is unusual.

“I would never normally show a friend’s text, y’know? It’s private, I don’t do all that betraying trust stuff. But I know she’ll delete these tomorrow morning and I think you should see them before she does.”

V: so its been a ear then hasnr it [10.56pm]

V: a year of fwithout brook [10.56pm]

V: honestly fuck her yknw what i man [10.56pm]

V: she fuckin broke mt heart man why did she do that [10.56pm]

V: i miss her an the stupid vats so muhc [10.57pm]

V: tha sonf auld lang syne plaed earlier in the bar bef4 eht club [10.57pm]

V: very apropaotye hahahahksjkdh [10.57pm]

V: may rhe acwanriance be forgot forever and fuckung ever [10.57pm]

V: is okay i can lobe w the bitternness [10.57pm]

V: i just kisd girls unt il it dont hurt [10.57pm]

Brooke sobs. Again, loud, shaking, broken. Because Vanessa is hurting so much even a year after it happened and everything feels so raw and it’s entirely her own fault for crushing the dream they were building.

“I miss her so fucking much, I don’t know why- I don’t know why I walked out,” She babbles, helpless and hopeless and hurt. “I’m fucking lying, Nina, I know why, I know why I did it. Why did I fucking-”

She knows all too well. Because Vanessa helped her pick an apartment and Vanessa picked her bed and Vanessa loved her cats. Because Brooke could imagine them getting married and growing old and it had barely been four months by the time Christmas and New Years were rolling around and everything seemed so serious and so intense, and that didn’t mean it wasn’t fun but it was scary in the same breath because speed was terrifying.

Brooke is bitter, but only at herself.

New Years Day. January 1st, a brand new year, a bright new start. The frost glistens freshly on the undisturbed morning, and all across the city, singles and couples sleep through the dawn, hungover or still passed out drunk, party hats akimbo, party blowers still suspended in smudged lipsticky mouths.

It’s early, enough that the daylight is blinding but pale and faded. Vanessa’s bedroom has the huge window that she never covers, and she sleeps through it like the dead. Brooke wakes up and looks around.

She looks at everything but Vanessa, but eventually her gentle snuffling is too much to ignore and she looks down at her beautiful sleeping form. She’s a disaster, hair everywhere and glitter still all over her face, and she’s the most breathtaking woman in the entire wide world. Something heavy and all encompassing sweeps into Brooke’s chest, and she can identify it by name. It’s only four letters, but it strikes a fear in her like an old god from a lost world. She needs to vomit. She needs to run. She needs an escape.

Before she even knows who she is again, any of the things that ended up staying half their time at Vanessa’s are stuffed into a couple of carrier bags and she’s in her dress from the party and out of the door into the cold winter air, panicked, unable to breathe.

It’s a heart attack, she thinks. Or a panic attack. It’s an attack that feels like it’s going to kill her, and she runs away, and she runs all the way home and barricades the door shut, dropping her belongings on the floor, numb and confused and cold. It’s the start of the new year and she begins it alone, hyperventilating.

Within a couple of days the worried texts subside and the angry vengeful ones start flooding in, and just like that Brooke’s lost the best thing that ever happened to her and all of her friends along with it. Because she got up on new year’s day and abandoned Vanessa fast asleep and that was the end.

It’s ugly and chilling, how much she cries into Nina’s gentleness. The only thing that stops her is, ironically, the thing that makes her feel worse, the characteristic ‘ping!’ of Nina’s phone, undoubtedly more drunk texts.

V: i hoper he fucjibg bubble bursts this tie of year [11.23pm]

V: every jhanduary first for the rest of hersitnkin life [11.23pm]

“I deserve it,” Brooke whispers hoarsely, “But she doesn’t. She never did.”

“Neither of you do,” Nina tells her sadly. “They don’t all hate you, they hate what you did the way friends always do when breakups happen. You both deserve to be happy. And both of you have been dreading New Year’s for this exact reason.”

It hurts to hear, and Brooke wishes she doesn’t have to listen, but her friend is so goddamn wise it feels stupid not to.

“Two days until it’s officially New Year.” Nina kisses her hand. “Can you keep living like this, Brooke?”

It’s not like she even has to say it for Brooke to understand. “She hates me.”

Nina shakes her head. “No she doesn’t. She loves you.”

“That’s worse.”

“You love her.”

“I know.”

“You got scared.”

“I still am.”

“Face your fears.” Nina holds her at arm’s length, forcing her to look right into her face. “This hurts more than what blundering through it would, surely? Fire doesn’t always mean you get burned, sweetie. Sometimes it just warms you.”

She makes no fucking sense.

“I can’t play with Vanessa like that again.” Brooke swears. “I can’t.

The transitional period between Christmas and New Year doesn’t feel like real time. It’s just liminal space, a waiting room of chronology, a suspension in space. If she’s honest, trying now causes no harm, because it’s like it didn’t even happen. Maybe she should, maybe she will.

Eventually Nina leaves, pressing a kiss to her forehead and promising that somehow everything is going to be okay. She’s like a fairy godmother, Brooke thinks to herself. Always knowing, always positive, and total magic to behold.

She’s awake all night long just staring at the time on the top of her phone, lying in bed sideways and wondering if she’ll do it. It has to be right. It can’t be when she’ll still be awake and drunk and angry. But it can’t be on the anniversary of her biggest fuck up, because that just feels like some kind of sick joke and that’s not what she wants.

The entire night passes. At six am, her finger hovers over the send button for a full three minutes. She counts the seconds.

B: I fucked up. If u’ll have me, I’ll never mess u around again. I didn’t know I could love someone so much and then u came along and everything sped up and I wasn’t fast enough. I shouldn’t have thrown away what we had when it was as close to perfect as anything can get. This message is all me me me I I I but if ur okay with it, I think new year should begin right this time. I’ll hold u and I won’t let go, and u don’t even have to hold me as long as ur here. Everything is up to u. I’ll learn to live with what I did if u say no. Because I totally get why u should hate me. I hate me too, kinda. U did nothing wrong. U were and will always be perfect. [6.03am]

B: Full disclosure is I was scared of how much and how quick I loved u. But it didn’t go away even when I hurt u. I was stupid to do that, and I don’t wanna do another year in the shadow of that massive mistake. [6.05am]

B: I won’t say it here, because thats cheap for u. But I’ll say it when I see u again. I promise, and I want to [6.13am]

She falls asleep with her phone in her hand after being awake all night long.

She wakes up four hours later.

V: ur dumb [9.51am]

V: theres a party at yvies for new years yknow [9.52am]

V: im not saying ill kiss u at midnight but [9.52am]

V: fuck around and find out [9.52am]

(tags: purecamp, branjie, brooke lynn hytes, vanessa vanjie mateo, lesbian au, things that were, fic challenge, nostalgia challenge, nina west)

[prettyboybarzal]

tattoos together (4) // tyler seguin

pairing: tyler seguin x reader

summary: the end of your trip to dallas brings change to your friendship with tyler... read to find out the rest

(a stars road trip to LA)

word count: 2k+ (she’s a filler chapter, my b)

author’s note: i’m sorry this took forever to get to you guys!!! and im sorry it’s short... longer ones are coming! promise! i will try to get the next chapter up next sunday. please read/reblog/like/comment, xoxo

warnings: i think just alcohol and cursing! the usual, you know. but if there’s anything else please let me know :))

On the morning you left Dallas, Tyler was out of bed first. He made breakfast, Nutella French Toast included, for the two of you and woke you up to join him out back. It was wonderfully warm in Dallas, and you stepped outside still wearing the pajamas you’d been sleeping in. Tyler reclined in his chair and kicked his feet up on the bench you were sitting on as you two ate.

The conversation had over breakfast was easy, even though you were both thinking about the kiss. Truth be told, you were reeling from it because it made you feel conflicted. And Tyler was reeling from it because he was sure you were the one and the night before had just added fuel to the fire.

When you finished breakfast, you told Tyler not to worry about the dishes and gathered them all on your own to clean up. He watched you walk off to the house with plates in hand until you disappeared beyond the door.

He waited a few more minutes, letting the morning sun wake him up a bit more before joining you in the kitchen.

Tyler stepped up to you and wrapped his arms around your waist. Despite yourself, you melted into his embrace and felt your heart beat a bit faster when his lips touched the shell of your ear. He placed a kiss there, then stepped away, his hands lingering on your hips as he moved to the side.

“We should talk,” you blurted out. Tyler raised an eyebrow. “About last night.”

“Uh oh.”

“I don’t know,” you murmured. You started scrubbing Nutella off one of the plates, then dropped the sponge and looked up at him. “I’m just a little rattled.”

“Why?”

“Because I liked it,” you admitted. A smirk appeared on Tyler’s lips. “But, God, it can’t happen again.”

The corners of Tyler’s lips turned down and his eyebrows pulled together. He shook his head and asked, “Why not?”

You started storing the plates in his drying rack and then looked up at him. You leaned your elbows on the counter and dropped your head in your hands, which were wet with dish soap and water.

“I can’t date you from California when you’re all the way here in Texas,” you stated. Your eyes remained on the countertop, feeling too upset to look him in the eyes. “I just can’t do it.”

“Loads of people pull that off.”

“But, I don’t want to do that with you,” you told him. You looked up at him again. He was leaning his hip against the counter on the other side of the sink, waiting for more of an explanation from you. “I don’t want us to try this when we’re thousands of miles away from each other because it would tear me in half if it didn’t work out. If we’re going to do it, I wanna do it right. I want us to be together.”

“What if that time never comes?” he asked. “What if this is the chance?”

“It’s not.”

“How can you say that so confidently, YN?” You had no answer to that question. Tyler huffed, tossing his arms up in the arm in frustration. “I have been waiting for this day, for this chance, since 2013. I don’t want to just let it slip away. Last time I did you ended up dating douchebags for three years.”

“I don’t trust the timing.”

Tyler stood, staring at you, for a minute longer and then shook his head. He dropped his mug into the sink with a shake of his head and exited the kitchen. Calling over his shoulder, he stated, “We’ll leave for the airport in an hour.”

You didn’t speak to him for the entire 60 minutes. Instead, you spent most of the time crying in the guestroom. When the time finally came for you to leave with him for the airport, you kissed the dogs goodbye and gave his house one last look.

You had a feeling this could be the last time you saw them, or ever stepped foot in his home.

At the airport, Tyler grabbed your bags from the trunk of his car and placed them beside it as you situated yourself. When you finally looked up, he wasn’t even looking at you. It’s like he couldn’t find it in himself to meet your eyes. That’s when you realized how much you hurt him.

“Ty…”

“YN, I don’t want the pity,” he said. His eyes finally met yours. They were dark and angry. “Thank you for coming, but I think it’s best if we just put this on the back burner for a while.”

“What?”

“I can’t be your friend, YN,” he stated. “Not right now.” You couldn’t find the words to protest. “I need to figure my shit out without thinking about you all the time.”

“Okay,” you whispered. Tears were welling up in your eyes, but you tried to blink them away. How had this situation become such a colossal fuck up?

“Have a safe flight,” Tyler said. He leaned in and wrapped one arm over your shoulder to hug you. “Good luck with the move.”

That day still feels like it was yesterday, despite all the months that had passed since then. The sadness was still there. It had become imbedded in you like a personality trait. 

The first month in California was as shitty as it felt when Tyler said goodbye to you. You went to work, came home, and went to bed. Your roommate, Delia, was insightful and understood that something had happened and you didn’t want to talk about. So, she left you alone until you decided you needed her.

“We hardly know each other,” she said. “But I can tell you’re sad. I’m here to talk about it, whatever it may be, whenever you want.”

“Thanks, Delia,” you responded.

You were pretty sure you’d never talk to her about anything serious.

Boy, were you wrong.

It wasn’t until you were out at a bar in October that everything came to a head. A Dallas Stars game was on the television and it seemed like every time you looked up, Tyler was on the screen. That’s when it occurred to you that you were looking at a stranger, not someone you used to spend every day talking to, not someone you had matching tattoos with.

Delia caught the tears welling up in your eyes and grabbed your hand to pull you away from the group you were with. She sat you down in a booth on the other end of the bar and pulled you into her arms.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“Yes.”

“Should we go home?”

You nodded, not trusting your words to come out coherently.

Back in your apartment, you told Delia everything from the moment you first met to the last goodbye. She watched in amazement, eyes wide and soft at the memories you shared with him. At the end of your story, she sighed.

“The hopeless romantic in me wishes that you just lived happily ever after,” Delia admitted. “But the supportive roomie and friend in me is happy you didn’t base all your decisions on a guy.”

“I loved him,” you murmured. “I still do.”

You spent so much time wondering if it was a mistake not try the long-distance thing with him. But, eventually, you decided it was time to stop dwelling on it, and that’s when he popped up again.

Tyler wasn’t going to call you, despite every part of his being begging him to give in. It felt wrong to be in your city before a game and not get food, or even see each other. Not reaching out to you felt like the official end to your friendship.

He didn’t say anything about it to anyone, not even Jamie, but the guys knew he was thinking about you. This season was the first one that Tyler seemed indifferent about almost everything.

Going out for drinks after a big win? He was there for twenty minutes, then gone.

Double date with Jamie and his new girlfriend? He’d grab dinner, but leave before drinks.

Day off? He wasn’t hanging out with the guys. Instead, Tyler was in his backyard with the dogs.

The pilot’s voice filled the plane, “Welcome to LA!”

Jamie took an uneasy glance at Tyler to find him staring at the palm trees out the window of the plane. He reached over and nudged him with his elbow.

“You good?”

“Yeah, I’m fine.”

“Are you going to call her?” Jamie asks. Tyler’s face remained stoic, but the flare of his nostrils indicated something beneath the surface. Jamie continued, “Well, I was going to call her.”

“Why?”

“Because she was my friend, still is,” Jamie states. He stands up as the other boys start exiting the plane. “I think you should call her. I can tell that you’ve been thinking about her since we got on the plane. Besides, I’m superstitious and we always used to get food with her before games in her city.”

The entire way to the hotel, Tyler stared at his phone. He swiped through your Instagram and then stared at the last conversation you had until, finally, he pressed the call button.

The phone rang three times.

You couldn’t trust your eyes when you saw Tyler’s name and picture flash across your phone screen, so you had to have your roommate look too.

“I’m not seeing things, right?”

She stares at the name a moment and then meets your eyes over the screen to confirm, “Definitely not seeing things.”

You stared a little longer. Two rings, three.

“Fucking pick up!” Delia shouted. She stood up and left the room, as if giving you privacy for whatever conversation was to come. You pressed ‘accept’ and brought the phone to your ear.

“Hi.”

“Hey.” Tyler sounded a little out of breath. There was a beat of silence and then he said, “I just landed in LA. We have a game tomorrow afternoon against the Kings.”

“I know.”

“Send me your address.”

You felt your heart thump in your chest once, twice. Swallowing, you asked, “What?”

“Your apartment’s address,” he clarified. “I want to see it.”

“Tyler.”

You could hear the eye roll in his voice as he grunted, “Just drop your location to my phone, YN.”

The line went dead.

You dropped your location to him and Tyler liked the message a second later. The exchange sent you into a panicked frenzy around the apartment. Throw blankets were folded up and spread over the back of the couch, or placed in the wicker basket beneath the table. The dishes were cleaned, dried, and put away. You made your bed, for whatever reason.

All of this happened while Delia watched in amusement until, finally, everything seemed to be picked up and put away, and you collapsed on the couch beside her.

“You okay now?”

“No.”

No amount of time could have prepared you for the knock at the door when the boys finally did show up. It was loud and aggressive, and you both jumped at the sound. You sat up and glanced over at Delia. She shook her head, started to stand so she could retreat to her room, and said, “Go get it.”

When you pulled the door open, it wasn’t Tyler on the other side but Jamie.

“Hey, lady,” he greeted you. Tyler was standing behind him, arms crossed over his chest. When you looked over at him, he was looking back at you with dark eyes and a small scowl. Jamie called your attention back to him. “How are you?”

“I’m fine,” you answered. “Happy to see you.”

You stepped aside, motioning for them to enter the apartment as well. They slipped in and Jamie made himself right at home, kicking his sneakers off beside the door. Tyler, however, stood in the foyer with his hands in his jean pockets.

“Nice place,” Tyler said. His eyes hadn’t met yours since you opened the door. The two of them gazed around the living room. Jamie had even ventured further into the apartment to look out at the view. Tyler stayed where he was.

“I’m starving,” Jamie announced. “You have any good places around here?”

Twenty minutes later, you were squeezed beside Tyler in a booth and Jamie was beaming back at the two of you like nothing was wrong. The boys ordered more food than your stomach could handle, but you knew that they’d handle it on their own.

While you waited for food, conversation didn’t start up. Jamie wanted one of you to figure it out. But, nothing fell from either of your lips, so Jamie began.

“YN, tell us about the job.”

You spent the next fifteen minutes talking about work. Tyler watched you as you spoke, eyes lingering on your lips a little too long for his liking. He liked listening to you talk about what you were doing because you sounded so passionate. He was glad the job had worked out for you, but he was upset that he had missed out on all these milestones.

As dinner continued, you all shared stories about the past few months and Jamie felt satisfied when the conversation seemed to shift. Eventually, Jamie stayed silent as you and Tyler carried the conversation by yourselves, giggling and teasing each other the entire time.

It felt like old times.

And then it didn’t.

“Hold that thought,” Tyler blurted out as his phone screen lights up. He slid out of the booth and stepped away, pressing the phone to his ear with a smile. You watched him walk out of the restaurant.

When you turned back to Jamie, he was looking at you.

“It’s Maisy,” he stated. You raised an eyebrow at him. “Some girl he’s seeing.”

“Ah.”

Jamie watched you turn back to the door to see if Tyler was coming back in.

“It might be a while,” he explained. “They’re in the honeymoon phase.”

“Pretty serious then?”

“I think it could be,” Jamie answered. The phrase held the underlying message of ‘it could be serious, if you don’t make a move’. “He went off the deep end this summer.”

“Don’t tell me that.”

“You should know,” Jamie urged. “He hasn’t been himself since that day. I’m sure you haven’t either, but I’ve seen him first hand. I was nervous there would be no turn around for him, then he met Maisy and it sort of lifted his spirits.”

“I’m happy for him.”

“No, you’re not,” Jamie murmured. “You feel obligated to say that, I know, but you aren’t happy for him. And that’s okay.”

He was right. You were just happy he was in a good place, not that he’d found someone else. Selfishly, you didn’t want him to find someone else. But that wasn’t fair.

Before you could say anything more, Tyler came back into the restaurant. His cheeks were rosy, his smile was unwavering, and he had a swagger in his step. Tyler was far gone, you’d missed your shot.

After dinner, the boys came back to the apartment to say their goodbyes. Jamie’s was short and quick, complete with a squeeze and a kiss on the forehead. Tyler, on the other hand, took his sweet time. 

“I’ll meet you outside,” he said to Jamie, but his teammate was already on his way out the door. It shut behind him and left the two of you staring at each other in silence.

You both spoke at once.

“I miss you.”

“Why haven’t you called me?”

There was silence again before Tyler ran a hand over his face and muttered, “Fuck.”

“I’m sorry for what happened in Dallas,” you told him. “I’m really sorry.”

“No, it’s okay,” he responded. “I shouldn’t have kissed you. I was projecting this crush I had onto you and that just wasn’t right. You were drunk. I was drunk.”

“But I shouldn’t have let it get as far as it did.”

He repeated, “I shouldn’t have kissed you.”

“We can play the blame game all day,” you said. Tyler nodded. “I just want my best friend back without all the complications we created.”

“Me too,” he admitted. “I tried to forget about how stupid that night was and the fight we had the next day, and I actually kinda did, but the closer we got to this game, the more I thought about it.”

“I think about it every day, I’m pretty sure,” you stated. He frowned. “You’re the best friend I’ve ever had, Ty. Losing you was losing a part of myself.”

His face softened at this expression.

“I don’t want us to be strangers anymore,” he said as he reached up to brush a strand of hair behind your ear. “Okay?”

“Okay.”

“I love you,” he said. Your eyes met again, both a little shocked at the words. “I always have, always will.”

“I love you, too,” you whispered. He smiled softly before stepping towards the door. “I’ll talk to you soon.”

“Definitely,” he responded. “We’re back to regularly scheduled programming, alright? I’m going to annoy the shit out of you now more than ever. I have a lot of time to make up for.”

[xsecretblastsx]

2x01 Summer Kind of Wonderful

SEASON TWO HERE WE GO.

I was dying to get here, this is one of my favorite episodes in the whole show. It’s also the episode were I really turned into a Chair shipper, so there’s that too, also The Hamptons!! Honestly was not to love about this episode.

I think this is the longest recap I’ve done in a while. As usaul recap under the cut.

Thoughts I had while watching:

I’ve watched this before and yet I’m still surprised our first taste of S2 is Nate going at it

After the super promising tease on Nate and Serena on the S1 turns out... she’s covering for him while he sleeps around... 😒

Chuck being Chuck, still a womanizer, still obsessed with Blair and as always ignoring Serena’s disgusted face. Also hilarious his enormous basket with cuttlery and such.

Look Joe Goldberg!!! Or is it Dan Humphrey? This bookstore setting is making it even more confusing.

Hi Jenny! And her never ending disatisfaction with her place at whatever she’s trying.

This scene between Chuck and Serena is so underrated. Her mocking face is hilarious. Pimp all you want Chuck it’s useless. Good luck in your suicide mission indeed.

What’s a Jitney? 😆How about where Blair returns to the Hamptons with a new beau. On your face Chuck Bass! On the words of GG: ain’t karma a bitch? We know Blair Waldorf is.

“A hot lifeguard is like Kleenex: use once and then throw away, you couldn’t ask for a better rebound” so says Blair 🤔

“The only thing lamer than dating Dan Humphrey is mourning Dan Humphrey” speaking words of wisdom Blair Waldorf

Of course all the wisdom goes out the window when Chuck appears. With the most extra polo ever and the shortest shorts in the history of menswear

Not that Blair wasn’t transparent with all her talk about James but oh my god Serena’s is so bad a going along with it.

“You’re lying. Your eyes are doing that thing were they don’t match your mouth” Chuck Bass: a walking manual on Blairisms

“I bet you’ll like him as much as I do” “If by that you mean I won’t like him at all then you’re right” meanwhile Serena is trying to pretend she’s anywhere else and not there silent witness to that verball pin pong

I always wonder how Jenny and Dan end up being like that with a Dad like Rufus

So this is “Jenny admitting she was a bitch and that Eric didn’t deserve it” first season.

“A honk instead of a knock? Did someone order a townie?" Blair’sn lines this episode are hilarious

I feel bad thinking that Nate’s main contribution so far is looking really good without a shirt.

Chuck Bass: a walking encyclopedia on everything Blair Waldorf.

If only the show had given us more Chuck and Cece interactions.

I feel I should have kept a score for all the Chuck and Blair jibes to each. That pin play on Blair’s part was check mate though. Auch. I almost feel bad for Chuck. Almost

In terms of cinematography that scene were they talk about the pin is gorgeous probably my fave in the show only behind that scene in Paris in S4. The matching outfits, the colors and the scenery are sooo good. Also the acting.

Knowing her like he does it’s interesting Chuck doesn’t realize Blair only gave that pin to James to hurt him. But the fact that it works is very telling on Chuck’s insecurities and feelings.

Nate being kicked out so the husband won’t catch him wouldn’t be half as hilarious if it wasn’t for Serena’s “no effing way face”

“Damn that Motherchucker” a novel by Blair Waldorf

I love Blair’s summer dress by the way

“All I could see was that Chuck Basstard” the sequel novel, also by Blair Waldorf

What a difference a summer makes: Nate and Chuck talking about Blair. I do feel Nate’s like “thank god it ain’t me anymore”

“And unlike you I don’t lose something if I let it out of my sight” Blair strikes again, this girl is on fire.

This episode is kind of proving that I barely care for any other storyline that doesn’t have the original four. After those two side by side arguments, getting back to Dan is really annoying

I kind of love it when Rufus points out to Dan how he never stops talking and doesn’t let anyone else said anything. Is kind of boring already how he only seems to write about Serena and the UES.

Chuck’s cricket outfit reminds me of how I should enjoy the crazy outfits while they last.

Ofc Chuck’s has a PI on speed dial Eric, duh. Gotta love him though: “i know that face, that face is not your friend” sorry Nate

I’m still trying to come up with the reason why the show let the fake dating storyline between Nate and Serena be such a waste. Whyyyy????

Just in case I forget: this white party was sponsored by Vitamin Water. For real there’s product placement and then there’s this.

The constrast between Serena looking like a greek goddess next to Nate’s I didn’t bother of an outfit is making me dizzy.

Chuck’s outfit for the white party kind of deserves a post of his own. Then again is probably my fave outfit of his on the whole show.

James calling out Blair for using him, while mentioning charade feels kind of overplayed now. Anyway he’s already pointing out how Blair and Chuck are the same and that’s why they deserve each other.

“Don’t you see? We’re the same? Stop trying to fight it” “I will fight it to my last dying breath because any resemblance to you is something I would hate about myself” this whole dialogue feels like a premonition.

Serena and Nate kissing and being totally into it while paparazzi plays is the background is just one of those moments. This is the kind of content I’m here for. Only to be ruined by Dan Humphrey.

And here we are again Dan getting mad when he doesn’t have a right to, thankfully karma is a thing in the form of drinks poured all over him

And somehow is Serena the one busy cleaning that suit, useless Dan is useless

Chuck’s “I’m so screwed” face when his PI tells him Blair’s guy is actually a british Lord is priceless.

THREE WORDS EIGHT LETTERS SAY IT AND IM YOURS.

Epic scene aside they both look so good here. This episode is gift in matching outfits.

Dan, Serena and fireworks. 😪 here we go again

I loved this episod the first time I watched it and I think I love it even more so now. It’s really good, full of funny lines, great outfits and epic moments. Season two is as of now my fave season (i think this is also true for many people) and it starts with a bang. Quite literally actually with the opening scene being Nate going at it with an “older” woman, which I guess was meant to be shocking in part because we ended last season wondering if something was going to happen between Nate and Serena.

Sadly it didn’t and that’s my biggest complain for this episode because how on earth did they thought it was ok to waste all that set up, and to add insult to the injury they are like so Serena and Nate are secretly dating... but it is just like a throway line because except for that amazing kiss at the white party we never see them fakee dating and I honestly want to pull my hair out of frustration. Just imagine the possibilities that weren’t, granted fake dating is one of my favorite tropes but it could have been quite the storyline imagine: Serenate fake dates and that sparks the feelings that were pushed aside on S1 but that were always there, and now there’s nothing that can stop them to act on it, except Serena has feelings for Dan too, and she struggles because of it all the first half of S1 until eventually she picks Dan and breaks Nate’s heart, combined with all the other pressures in his life, he wants something easy and this happens to coincide with Blair’s downright spiral and that’s how Nair happens again in the second half of S2.

My point being you could add so many more moments in the Serenate saga, also give more force to the idea the show always tried to do: that Serena can’t really let go of Dan, because Nate and her are quite something and yet... and still have almost the same story on the second half which was important because it gave closure to Nair and also had both Chuck and Blair realizing a couple of things. Alas one can only dream and be happy that at least we got that kiss at the white party

So back to the episode, we learn that Nate is having and affair with a married woman, Serena misses Dan a lot and basically mourned him the whole summer meanwhile he was being an asshole in the City fooling girls he met at his intership and Jenny is working and trying to stand out in her own internship at Waldorf desings. Which reminds me Eric is such a gem of a character, he’s always have good one liners but whe’s also a nice counter balance to all the manipulation and bitchery going around him. Anyway all of these storylines are barely a tease of what’s coming, and they really take off in the next episode, so I’ll get into them then, so at the end of the episode Nate manages to keep the affair goin into the city, Jenny earns a bit of respect from her boss and Serena and Dan see each other again (thanks to Cece which is another character I wish we had see a bit more) they meet at the beach ready to see if there’s something to salvage between them. We’ll see.

The real star of this episode are Chuck and Blair. This episode belongs to them. I’ve seen comments that claim this is the season that made them epic and really take off and I quite agree, and this episode in particular sets up the stage for it, touching on a lot of the aspects that are going to be their arc for this season and even beyond. So at the end of S1 Chuck stands up Blair and she goes alone to Tuscany and he doesn’t goes after her the whole summer. Instead he spends the summer in The Hamptons being Chuck Bass, she ends up in France. We soon learn that while Chuck  enjoyed himself during the summer Blair wasn’t far off in his mind:, the minute she’s back he goes aftet her, roses in hand only to find out she came back with a new guy, and she does everything in her power to rub that fact in his face which Chuck should have expected, it obviously bothers him but truth is they both know this is just Blair trying to get back at him for abandoning her, he hurt her, she obviously doesn’t tell him but he ruined his summer and she couldn’t stop thinking about the motherchucker

Shenanigans ensue but there are bits that really stand out: first of them the heart pinn. That's a telling bit about Chuck’s feelings, when that pin make its first appearance on S1 it was the beginning of the end for Chuck, the meaning of it was what got her to accept going to Cotillion with Nate  and now she has gave it to James and Chuck buys it because I guess part of him couldn’t believe she would go as far as to use that to hurt him, that’s a low blow and she also didn’t gave it to him that week they were going out after the wedding, even though it went really well but most importantly he believes she can’t really feel that way about him because he’s just not the kind of guy someone can feel something for, but specially someone  like Blair Waldorf, who dreams of finding her prince charming and such, and to his utter horror it’s revealed that Blair’s new guy is actually a british lord. Just his luck.

He’s anything but that, therefore not for Blair. He tells her as a much later in the episode when he let’s her know that he basically stood her up because he was afraid of her getting to really know him and see he was not good enough nor someone she could be with. And this is something that’s going to be quite the struggle for him for a long time, more than once during the show he’s going to remove himself from the picture because he believes she deserves someone better who can actually make her happy, and this season this happens quite a few times.

Thing is nothing is ever that simple, and this is the other bit that really stands out for me: when James calls her out on how she just use him to make Chuck jealous she justifies herself by pointing out Chuck’s an awful person, who lies and deceives so he kinds of deserve it, and James points out the fact that well she’s sort of the same, and they deserve each other. She lashes out at Chuck because of this and blames him for her argument with James, it’s his fault she played with James, and Chuck’s point out that no one force her to do anything she did it because they’re the same, meaning they scheme and manipulate to get what they want, so she should just stop fighting this thing between them, she rejects him claiming she would hate any resamblance to him. This whole argument is honestly quite interesting, because variations of it are going to keep popping up the rest of the show, and depending on who you ship you either take literally as if  Chuck is the root of Blair worst tendencies or rather see this argument as representation of Blair struggles not with Chuck, but with herself.

Blair struggles in accepting herself, at her core she’s an insecure person, and the fact that she has a dark side that she can’t exactly change because it’s so deep roothed in her bothers her even before she and Chuck were anything, to me it bothers her not because she really wishes she was nice & good person, but rather because Serena is  nice person, who’s regarded as literal ray of sunshine at times, and Serena got two things she wanted for the longest time: positive atention from Eleanor and Nate’s interest.So that fight within herself was always there, it didn’t appear the day she started dating Chuck, is just that in the same way they brought out the best in each other, when things go bad between them the opposite sometimes happened, and even then when they blame each other for something half the time it was to share some of the hurt and to avoid dealing with their own shortcomings and mistakes. Truthfully Chuck and Blair did something for each other no one had really done for them they accept each other fully, Blair’s able to accept and love his darkness, and for Chuck there’s no darkness in Blair she’s the way she is and that’s what makes her wonderful. It was easier for them to love each other than to love themselves. 

Finally the biggest stand out of the episode is that iconic scene, the one that really puts into place the dynamic they will have for the rest of the season: Three words, eight letters are brought to the table, and they won’t move forward until the words have been said. It makes sense, because they tried this twice before, the first one came out of nowhere and it ended with Chuck getting dumped in favor of Nate, and that burned him badly, the second one Blair was the one who got hurt, and both times this pretty much happened because they aren’t able of telling each other how they feel, particularly Chuck. The first time he didn’t let her know he actually cared and wanted to be with her, the second one he didn’t tell her he was afraid, and all of this was too much too soon. So Blair wants, needs some kind of reassurance, and it makes me wonder how that week after the wedding really went, what happened? how wonderful it must have been that even though he abandoned her a that helipad she still had hope in the fact that he may love her. He doesn’t say it, and yet I still love this moment so much for  because jus by asking him to say it is in some way an admittance on her own feellings, and he fails to saythe words  but he did try, and the fact that he did try is also a form of admittance and as such  from here on no matter what happens, how much they fight and toy with each other there’s always an undercurrent of love behind their actions,and this is (borrowing a phrase from a certain popstar) the most amazing unspoken dialogue ever. 

Random bits I’ve noticed

Chuck has a bouquet of yellow roses for his intent on getting Blair back. If my memory serves right, those were his mom favorites

I’m such a sucker for the little backdrop details like the Van der Bass house having all these background pictures of the wedding

Thanks to Chuck for giving us the rank on Blair’s favorite films: Breakfast at Tiffany’s, Roman Holiday & Funny Face (even if he said Charades to prove a point)

I’ve read somewhere I think it was on twitter that Blair’s crying in the garden scene was unscripted, Leighton did because she got really caught up in the scene particularly by Ed’s acting. I’ve looked it up but so far I haven’t found anything on this.

There’s a bunch of miniature cyclists under the mirror where Cece’s doing the final touches to her hair, looks sort of weird.

that vitamin water is even on the invitation, agust 30, 2008.

[mulderspice]

have you ever watched an episode of the Emmy award winning sci-fi drama, The X Files?  Maybe you’ve read my original post and yet you’re still wondering where the hell Fox Mulder got all those strands of hair on his jumbo gigantic head.  I am back and here to help you find the answers to some of your burning questions; as we celebrate the hard work and triumphs of the hair and makeup department on the Fox Lot and team up with my big huge brain and my New York State Cosmetology license to give the people what they want once again: another top ten guide to Mulder’s fucking hair..

upon making this post a second time (rip 😔), I realized that just about every episode (yes, every. single. one. even the ones without Mulder and the latest season where he has to share headspace with [redacted]) has its own important and iconic hair looks... You may recognize that some of these are slightly repeated from the last post but that’s ok! What I'm here to do is enforce! So lets get started..

#10 s6:e21 Field Trip: Here again we begin our journey into cosmetic superstardom with a personal favorite of mine.  Mulder rolling with the times by getting a haircut fresh off the FTF wave left our nation in fucking shambles. Can’t imagine going to see a major motion picture in theatres jam packed with Mulder’s most supreme hair looks only to come back to my tv screen to see it all gone away.  For students reading this post for educational purposes, this caused a worldwide walkout on popular salon franchise Supercuts in the year 1998.  However, a haircut didn’t necessarily mean Mulder forgot how to take care of his hair.  The precision and placement as each strand of hair perfectly outlines his jumbo head is revolutionary and inspiring.  Mushroom induced drug high? K. Lemme still grab my teasing comb and my hairspray and make sure I look presentable for when my partner walks into my apartment screaming abt “where's Mulder” and wanting “answers”.  The answer is this: this look is about giving people like myself with big heads rights and looking fuckable while doing so. 10/10 for inspiring hope.

#9 s1:e9 Space: Imagine you’re a few episodes into a show, the core plot is developing right before your eyes and you’re beginning to get to know The X Files three main characters; Fox Mulder, Dana Scully, and Mulder Hair Strands #1-3.  All is well except, you still have no clue how crucial, and critical Mulder Hair Strands 1-3 will become to the show and to your life and I am here to tell you that you are in for a very rude and bold awakening.  This message goes out to all the haters and all the people who didn’t believe Mulder’s hair was valid prior to season 4. He is here to tell you he DID know how to use dry shampoo and even the occasional blow dry oil and you can suck a dick abt it. Bold of you to assume he wouldn’t pull the round brush and the biosilk out the drawer to impress a visit to fucking NASA. 10/10 for involving science.

#8 s4:e6 Sanguinarium: I sit here writing to you today as the song ‘Handmade Heaven’ comes on shuffle; strikingly fitting for this raw and ethereal image of straight up beauty and wonder and magic and heaven in hair. This special, freshly washed and air dried smells like strawberries and sandalwood and fuckability. The look reaches through your TV and wraps its hands around your neck and sucks the life right out of you.  Are you gonna let it happen? You sure are.  Lucky for you, I just so happened to be there when the angels hand sewed each strand of hair onto his head and here’s what they had to say about it:  this is everything and more and the way Mulder has just washed his hair with fresh mountain water droplets hand collected like nothing else mattered. Put his clothes back on and went on his merry way. Can’t imagine being in Scully’s shoes ready to walk on in her partners room unannounced to go over serious case related matters and theories.  Woulda went bonkers. This truly is a handmade heaven.  Hand crafted by Mulder for Scully and for the good viewers of the globe. 10/10 for embracing me in its arms.

#7 s4:e3 Home: A look from one of primetime TV’s most notorious banned episodes.  Viewer discretion IS advised not only for the horrifying and cringeworthy content displayed in this episode, but for also making it painfully blunt to the viewer that Mulder’s hair follicles are happier and healthier than anybody else's will ever be in their lifetime.  In fact, I can feel my own hair falling out and being respawned onto HIS head as I type this and I’m sure you can too. The way the sun glistens off his golden brown strands makes me want to walk into oncoming traffic.  You might also notice how effortless this look was, as it probably only took a quick run thru with his fingers, and Mulder’s passion and need to look sexy at any time of the day at all times. It’s obvious that this kind of thing comes naturally to him, which just comes off as insulting to men everywhere. 11/10 for striking fear into men’s hearts.

#6 s4:e20 Small Potatoes: Genuinely took every bone and nerve ending in my body to not put this look in the top 5 even though it so clearly deserves it.  Here at mulderspice we believe in diversity, meaning it wouldn’t be right to make my top five greatest hairstyles ever produced on The X Files just of Mulder’s iconic and revolutionizing middle part (though really who is stopping me..). This screenshot in general has me up in arms at how perfectly the blue background matches his eyes, and how it accentuates his hydrated skin and lips.  But you’re not here for that. It’s the hair particularly that really pulls the shot together, as Mulder took the time that morning to spray it with some tinted dry shampoo that most defiantly and absolutely smells like chocolate.   This look feels like a warm hug on a frigid winter day. I feel EMBRACED and I feel CARED FOR thanks to the wonderful staff and team @ Mulder’s head and hair follicles. What the fuck could be better than this. 16/10 for making me feel some type of way.

#5 s4:e8 Tunguska: Currently you may not think anything of Krycek to the left of this image though ill have you know he plays an extremely vital part of this look and all the words I’m about to speak to you directly. So listen up: Krycek may have heroically slayed Mulder’s father in cold blooded and justifiable murder, but we thank him for this, as it caused Mulder to lash out in the best way possible: through looks. “Un-shun: Krycek do you think I’m good to bring my Redkin Rewind 6 styling paste with me or will the Russian TSA think of that as contraband? :Re-shun”.  A sweaty, manly and highly illegal treck through a Russian testing facility and a stint in a violent foreign PRISON surely was not going to stop Mulder from keeping his hair properly hydrated, styled and parted. That’ll really ruffle Krycek’s feathers and make him feel sorry for what he did…. The sexiest way to avenge the death of your deadbeat father. 24/10 for you know why.

#4 s1:e6 Shadows: In the year 1993, Mulder steps onto the scene, young, fresh faced, bright eyed and ready to give men around the globe what they (so desperately) needed: the encouragement to care about their hair.  Any backstreet boy you may know have this scene to thank directly, as this is what encouraged them to reproduce Mulder’s hair onto their own heads time and time again.  What I would give to see with my own eyes Mulder length times width times height his head to equal this perfectly proportionate look of volume and sexy. And who can I write a warrant out to for allowing this shot to take place.  Oh to be the various and expensive hair care products in Mulder’s bathroom …… 899/10 for starting a movement (-1 for making us do equations).

#3: s1:e10 Fallen Angel: The biggest regret I’ve ever had in my short little life was not adding this moment to the last post.  And tumblr deleted it in order to give me this opportunity to present this to you today.  By the way, that absolutely is in fact a choir of angels singing as you view this image. Go ahead and try to think of something on this earth that could be better than this tossled bed headed im-stressed-becos-my-partner-of-2-weeks-isn’t-seeing-the-big-picture-about-how-we’re-all-key-pawns-in-an-ongoing-government-conspiracy hairstyle hand crafted by Mulder all while holding his head in his hands hard at work trying to break through to the truth.  Scully [insert photo of Scully with her eyes popping out of her head here] and I both wanna rip our own hair out and throw it in the garbage. 2000/10 for making our hearts ache..

#2: s4:e10 Paper Hearts: Behold- the image I’m slamming down on the desk at full force when I finally get myself a therapist. I need a licensed professional doctor to help me understand the various angles that this purposeful shot affects my life health and well being. In a paranoia induced out of body experience Mulder took his pinky finger and parted his hair down the middle, took a protractor to perfectly round the tendrils falling ever so gracefully on his forehead and ran out of his apartment and through the woods of DC.  Doesn’t matter if he’s crazy? Doesn’t matter if its fuck all 4am? Who knows if the discoveries of this night is finally going to answer the heartbreaking questions regarding Mulder’s baby sister? Fuck it we’re just gonna make sure Scully has something to look forward to after being awoken yet again in the middle of the night and asked to come wrangle and control this stupid idiot.  This just makes me unhinged.  50000/10 for waking up in the middle of the night and doing the most for us all.  

#1 s4:e3 Teliko: This one will remain number one for as long as I shall live.  I’ve dedicated my life to this cause and I’m ready to make you painfully aware of it. Grab a pen and paper and get ready to do some heavy math with me because this look right in front of your eyes is the equation to happiness and sexiness. Can barely find the words to describe to you how this picture makes me feel. Each strand of hair is personally reaching down and wrapping his head in one big giant hug of protection and solitude.  Unbelievable that Scully didn’t head back to her hotel room and scream at the top of her lungs right after this. There’s no way she went about her day as normal without wanting to kick the shit out of him and then put him back together with soft feathery kisses.  What you are witnessing here is the very turning point of the show where Scully looked into into the very center point of that part and said “guess I have no choice but to fall in love with him 🚶🏽‍♂️”. Chris Carter’s idealistic version of Mulder and the one we actually ended ups seeing as viewers were so drastically different that it’s blatantly clear that he had absolutely no idea the cultural implications that were about to rock the world to its core and tip it on its axis when David Duchovny showed up on set looking like this. I could write a thesis about this. I could conduct research and studies about this.  I got kicked out of college because I cared more about this than I did actual schoolwork. I feel like I’m in a very sexy chokehold. Wish I could live forever in one little square pixel of this image.  Nothing means more to me than this.  1000000/10 no further comments.

and the honorable mentions go to....

s8:e16 Three Words: Dead? Did you die? Did you die and miraculously defy god by rising from the dead and coming back to life? Just got home from the morgue? Think nothing is the same? Left guessing if you’re a soon to be 5 minute father? Did you just fucking die? He’s lost his family and his job and the world just went on without him like it was nobody’s business.  Walked out of the morgue right to his apartment and what did he have left? His expensive array of hair styling and finishing products that’s what the fuck he had left.  Being an all around reject from society didn’t at all stop him from taking his fingers and dipping it into that Big Sexy styling pomade and fluffing his head to high heavens. As a personal fuck you to god and to John Doggett too.  He’ll never let you know the emotional hellstorm going on in his life in that moment but he WILL make it known to you that despite being 8 feet under ground for 6 months he’ll never give up on his hair. For the PEOPLE. Try and go through the nightmare of death and then rejected fatherhood and see if you come out of it with any hair at ALL.  An itty bitty glimpse into what would have been Untitled Mulder Abduction Story (2001)....

I Want To Believe (2008): Here you will see the sluttiest moment in major motion picture history.  Shh im not using this opportunity to show you this screenshot for the 800th time I’m trying to keep you educated.  BREAKING NEWS; Man hiding in home office for 6 years fully off the grid has FULL head of hair and is getting regular sex *not clickbait*. So what if Mulder has gone fully unhinged and off the walls bonkers he’s also gone FULL slut and it shows in that sexy thick voluminous head of slut hair.  If you ever for a second thought prior to seeing this movie for the first time that Mulder would show up a full on son-less wreck and a half think the fuck again babes.  He’s managed to hold on to every single little strand ever grown on his head even well into his middle aged madness and its about time we give him the credit he deserves.  (PS. Please know I wrote this entire spiel without even viewing the shot shown here. Its just permanently etched on the inside of my forehead so its there when my eyes roll back into my head.)  For this we say…..; Whore rights.

s11:e3 Plus One: Incase you were unaware, I have been going through a very slow and painful process of erasing Season 11 from my brain completely.  Its been a long road but its achievable and the end result will save me from a lot of future heartache and trauma.  This however, is a moment I will cherish forever and though you may think its for the hot sex (which is like maybe 30% the case) its actually because it puts together everything I’ve ever loved and believed about the show in only a few thousand pixels. How old is Mulder here? 30? 31? Still has hair and still has an unbelievable amount of love to shower Scully in for as long as they both shall live (which lets face it, she deserves one million times over.)  What this has taught me was to hang up my “Mulder deserved…” hat for good and just be thankful for what I’ve got. I ended up with no son or happy dreamy ending where Mulder gets to die with a family he’s never had in his life, but here we are left with the little things.. Like Mulder and Scully’s unconditional love and most importantly .. The hair on Mulder’s head. Its called growth and acceptance and I am learning it.  Also I just wanted to show you what it would look like if you were like 57 and sexy and still had all ur hair. That’s it :-)

[drkcnry67]

its time you all know the truth (day 6)

A/N: @obxmermaid​ this is my day 6 this is gonna be a ride to remember and keep in mind that in the last part Draco and YN told their friends about their relationship and swore them to secrecy.

pairing: Draco Malfoy x reader

prompt: being asked what you are thankful for during the holiday season (telling the professors at the christmas feast)

tags: none that i can think of at this time.

mentioning @obxmermaid​      &     @sweetness47​

25 days of hogwarts

the owls over and done, you and your friends were relieved, you all felt a sense of accomplishment, meeting once more in the astronomy tower to laugh and goof off. it was also when they (your friends) could see how happy you and Draco make eachother. 

this was the night of the holiday feast. this is the night where no one eats before hand other wise no one eats too much of the wide spread of food at the feast. 

Draco: we should all get going the feast will be starting soon. 

YN: ooops i am supposed to be there already. i have a surprise for you love. dont worry this is a good surprise. ill see you all at the feast. 

you leave in a hurry you head to stand before the professors and staff in the great hall. you enter and the hall is all decorated. 

YN: sorry im late, i was celebrating with my friends. how did they turn out. 

Minerva: see for yourself.

you see her place a stack of certificates on the podium. these were your official you have successfully completed term 1 of tutoring certificates. it was a new thing you and the professors were all trying. as well as the marks of their owls. 

you would be the one to present these during the feast before you ask the students to say what they are thankful for. you didnt want to say anything rash so you were gonna play cool and say the first thing that came to mind. 

minerva: are you prepared for this feast YN. 

YN: professor can i transfigure myself into my outfit so i save time. please. 

minerva nods her head and smiles as she turns a blind eye to you transfiguring into your outfit. Minerva turned around and smiled. 

Minerva: YN you look absolutely radiant. 

YN: thank you professor, i just want this to go well. professor, do you believe in fate?

Minerva: as a practicioner of magic, i have always said to believe anything is possible including fate.

YN: no matter how horribly wrong and against the rules it might be... does that still apply then?

Minerva: yes... but not without consequence. its very hard to say on the matter wihtout knowing the whole story. are you alright YN your shaking. 

You kinda straighten’d up before smiling

YN: im okay its probably some jitters, im a little nervous about speaking before the entire student body. 

Minerva: you will do good up there tonight YN. we are all very proud of you. 

You move away from the professors and head to join the students in the receiving line.

You walk in with your classmates. You sit with your classmates as Dumbledore comes up to speak.

Dumbledore: this first term has been especially trying for most of you but we have a bright mind among us one whose using those gifts to help you all in different ways. She made an impression on me and the other professors. so we call up YN now to present her with a hogwarts coat of arms as the first Magics Education Assistant. Please give her a warm shout of praise and honor for all she has done.

The hall roared with praise as you walked up to the podium and smiled as Dumbledore handed you your certificate and your owls marks.

Dumbledore(to you): well done YN we are so proud of you. Now say a few words and do the rest of your certificates.

You step up to the podium using your wand to make your voice expand through the hall.

Yn: thank you headmaster. I hope I continue to earn this honor in the upcoming years and for all my eternity. This past year and a half have been especially hard for me. As I've had to live on my own away from my parents. They wish me to marry someone I don't love, I am standing before you all today as a sign that your destiny is what you make it to be. I have some certificates here for those that I helped tutor through this first term. These certificates are something new we are trying. All those that I tutored this term please come up and stand in front of me here.

your students lined up in front of you and Draco’s eyes caught your own. 

YN: in these past few weeks ive had the opportunity to get to know each of you and your individual strengths and help each of you realize your potentials. so as each of these lands in your hands please let us hear the roar of applause from the student body as these students are the first to recieve their owls marks as well as the certificates for completeing tutoring term 1.

the student body errupted with cheers as the tutoring students held up their certificates. you step up to the podium once more to start the thankful toasts. 

YN: every year round this time the professors and a few select students say what they are thankful for this year. well i have been asked to start this tradition off this year. im most thankful for the love of my life, my best tutoring student, my faithful friend, most loyal rival, i love you Draco and im so thankful that you are apart of who i am and will continue to be. 

it wasnt till you finished what you said that you realized what just came out of your mouth. draco’s eyes were in shock. you and Draco were taken out of the party and appeared a few seconds later in dumbledores office in front of Dumbledore, flitwick, minerva, and Snape.

Minerva: that was not expected

Snape: mr Malfoy and miss Yn are obviously under some sort of love charm... otherwise there wouldnt be such insubordination.

Flitwick: perhaps there is a logical explanation for this i mean its possible that through their rivalry they developed a bond...

Dumbledore: or they are just in love. as YN confessed on that stage. i could see it in both their eyes as they looked at eachother. it was clear on their faces. they are indeed in love. it has been a long time since ive seen a look like that. perhaps we should let them tell us about how this happened. then we will vote on the matter. children you may approach now.

you and Draco hand in hand approached and sat in the chairs to make yourselves more comfortable for whatever would come next.

Minerva: why dont you both tell us how this came about?

you took the lead on this one. 

YN: well it was the summer of last year we met in Diagon Alley. he was avoiding his parents and their shady business. he asked me for my help so i helped him escape and that was it. we have been together ever since. 

Minerva: and over this almost 1 & a 1/2 years did either of you think to tell anyone. 

YN: many times we wanted to make sure we were gonna last before we started telling people. i didnt want to lie to everyone thats why we had our rivalry so no one would suspect anything. we just wanted to see if we would work before we told anyone or even brought it to you the faculty who guide our education. all we want is to be happy and together we are. 

Draco: had i not run into YN in the alley i wouldnt be with her the way i am today. and yes what we did was wrong, but it doesnt change the way we feel about eachother. 

Yn: please understand that we were afraid of what our relationship would bring upon us if we were discovered. Guess christmas miracles really do come true. We will do whatever you guys wish in order for this not to reflect us passing this year.

The professors just looked at both of you and Dumbledore smiled and approached.

Dumbledore: nothing to be done, both of you will complete your year here and can remain here over Christmas break if you so desire. But apart from this you both have our blessing to be together in the open.

You and Draco stand and exchange a lingering hug, you both stop when you realize that the professors were still starring at you.

Yn: thank you, all of you. This means so much to the both of us.

You and Draco left the office and went to sit in the courtyard hand in hand. The other students just started but you and Draco didn't care, you both sat down on a bench and watched the fresh snow fall.

You both kissed as the snow hit your faces and heard the gasps of happiness as well as shock.

~to be continued~

[foolgobi65]

im not sure if any of this is coherent but i just have to get thoughts out of my head and then i can focus on the other piles of work i have lol so here goes nothing. (i know my passion for lucifer has become near meme status for all of my friends, none of whom actually watch the show but w/e) 

anyways, i’ve been mulling over the reason why chloe seems to feel like its so important that lucifer say the words “i love you” now -- not “you are my first love” which he’s said in the past, and not showing that he loves her through his actions which he clearly is doing. i think that, beyond just being a source of narrative/relationship tension, there’s actually two things at play in regards to not only her own characterization but how she’s interacted with lucifer over the course of the show and how that relationship has been different from those she’s had with her other significant others over the seasons. 

at her core, i think chloe is looking for honesty from her partners, however that manifests. chloe’s two romantic partners outside of lucifer were dan and marcus, both whom while with her lied pretty significantly. dan’s improved a lot, but in season one he was not only gaslighting her but also was just a generally shitty partner who actively tried to crush chloe’s stellar instincts that led her to pursue the truth and justice at all costs. marcus, who to chloe seemed so simple and easy and emotionally honest about wanting to be with her, turned out to be a crime lord that was willing to kill chloe to escape with his life. (we don’t know if chloe knows how he was manipulating her throughout their relationship in order to lose his immortality.) with both of these men, even when chloe thought they were honest, i don’t actually think she would have valued their just saying that they love her without other proof of their feelings for her. 

in contrast, chloe has lucifer, who never lies (he just doesn’t always tell the whole truth.) i think there’s two parts to this as well, one being lucifer’s own dishonesty when it comes to his actions versus what he says, and the second being the fact that when push comes to shove, he doesn’t lie. for about a season and a half, poor chloe spends time with a lucifer who shows every indication that he’s in love with her but refuses to say it. he kisses her, tells her he’s not worthy of her, asks her if what they have is real, then runs away to vegas and gets married, coming back and insisting that he and chloe are just friends. he throws her a prom, but they don’t kiss. constantly she’s stuck while he pushes her away and then comes back, only to push her away again (thanks season 3!!) lucifer never lies, but he does bluff and he bluffs a lot for a pretty serious amount of time during which chloe can really do nothing except try and fail to get over him. the flip to this, is that when lucifer speaks, he does tell the truth -- whatever that means in that moment. when lucifer tells chloe that he loves her, she’ll know that he means it, full stop. of course she can tell because of his actions, but he’s also acted like he’s loved her for years now, and for much of that he was insisting he didn’t. we know that this means that lucifer really has loved chloe all this time, but even if chloe knows that now, for years she’s had to accept that he didn’t, or even if he did he didn’t love her enough to want to tell her and to be with her. what she needs from him is stability, and certainty, and i think in this case that certainty will only come from lucifer saying those words to her clearly. 

part of this also, i think, is rooted in her actual relationship with lucifer over the years, rooted for both of them in their own individual troubles with self worth. obviously we know about lucifer, but we meet chloe as a really isolated person who doesn’t have really any friends outside of lucifer who she gets closer to as the first season progresses -- lucifer, who eventually she names as the only person she can be vulnerable with. her relationship with her mom is fraught, she’s been ostracized by her department, and she’s separated from a husband who’s constantly telling her to ignore her instincts and just keep her head down for her own good. meanwhile lucifer tells her from the start that she’s smart, that the others are threatened, that she should trust herself. in court and on the beach he says that she’s truly good. a few times he says that she’s beautiful, and you can see how she glows from that compliment that i think she’d brush off from anyone else, because she knows that he never lies. chloe’s network eventually expands (though its notable that almost all, if not all, of these friends are people she meets through or knows alongside lucifer) but i think that for both chloe and lucifer they are each other’s “person,” regardless of their romantic relationship or lack thereof. they know each other, more than anyone else does because they are the other person’s best (and at times only) friend. all of this means that it’s not just chloe who is capable of loving the real lucifer, but lucifer who loves the real chloe, all the parts that she hides along with the parts other people wishes she’d hide. i think a lot of her freakout in season 4 was related in part to this primal insecurity she has, her own idea of how she can’t possibly be good enough, or worth it for lucifer when the life he leads seems so different from hers. this season she’s gained some clarity re: her own unique capacity to see lucifer and now has proof of his own feelings for her through his manifesting of his vulnerability, but we can see that she’s still worried that he can’t possibly feel the same way about her that she does him. which, to be fair, is how he left her feeling for 1.5 seasons, and then depending on how you see the progression of her feelings for him in season 4, for maybe like 1/4 to a half of that season as well. poor chloe’s spent a really long time in love with lucifer, and thinking that he couldn’t possibly love her back, (while lucifer felt the exact same way rip) so to me at least it makes sense that she needs confirmation that finally lucifer knows every bit of her and loves her despite it, even because of it. and for chloe in this case, that confirmation can only come if he says the words. 

(the reason why she probably doesn’t count the balcony confession before he left for hell is just that i think its clear she’s worried that his feelings have changed, or that the reality of the relationship has shown lucifer that having chloe is not the same as wanting her. she knows he loves her, i just really think that she’s known in some way that he’s loved her for a long time but also had to tell herself that he didn’t. part of what she was probably telling herself was that he couldn’t love her, that she was too boring and plain for someone like lucifer to love beyond the parameters of friendship. in almost every way, it feels like  chloe and lucifer are the same when it comes to how they understand matters of their heart -- both of them need to know that what they have is real, that they are worthy of being loved, and that they are deeply, truly loved by a person who knows them for every part of who they really are.) 

sorry this was so circuitous, i think i said the same thing like 15 times just slightly rephrased but its really late lmao. hope it makes sense! 

[har-rison-s]

Losers Will Stick Together

Request: Stan x reader cute domestic fluff with kids and happiness and stan doesn’t d** and they get a visit from the losers and it’s just soft fluff because i miss my baby and he deserved the world and more but didn’t get it and iM BITTER😭thanks lovely your stan work is honestly the best i’ve seen

A/N: So this is some sort of thing I wrote as a promised part two and also a thing for myself to have a family feeling in my heart, a closeness to something, you know? I hope this meets all your standards :) I got such deja-vu from writing this, taking that LST was one of my first works on here. Hehe. I promised you all a second part :))) Happy reading and seasons greetings and happy New Year's! :) <3

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IT Masterlist

Heaven Masterlist

Warnings: talks and descriptions of IT, Neibolt, injuries. Also spoiler warning for IT: Chapter Two (come on, man)!

Gif credit goes to owners, which isn’t me!

Stanley and his wife decided that they could let his friends stay the night after the dinner. It would be a very friendly and close-contact sleepover for the Losers, but they had done that as kids for years, so why should that be a problem now? There's no awkward feelings. Eddie and Richie would be sharing a mattress, of course, as would Beverly and Ben. Before they did, though, there had to be cleaning up, putting kids to sleep and talking to do. 

Everyone helped. Richie had Louise on his shoulders while he cleared the table with Bev and Eddie's help. Nathaniel was carried on Ben's shoulders as he and Mike helped Stanley pull out mattresses, pillows, sleeping bags and blankets. Bill and Y/N were in charge of washing the dishes, drying them and putting them in place. That's how Bill got familiar with the Uris kitchen organisation and Ben and Mike learned the house plan. The Losers got familiar with the house that'd become one of their second homes. 

Little Louise loved pestering Richie's hair and taking off his glasses, but he never got annoyed. He always played along, joked, tickled Louise and made the little girl laugh. Ben and Nathaniel seemed to have something in common - Nathaniel is quite a restless spirit, and Ben's characteristic ideally corresponded with that. He was just as ready for wrestling or running around as the little guy. Stanley was starting to worry Nathaniel would grow up a rascal, but as long as that influence was from one of his best friends, he didn't seem to mind that much.

At the end of the night, when everything had been cleaned up and Y/N was almost done putting their kids to sleep, Stanley gave his friends each a beer bottle, like most their fathers did back in the day, and they sat down in the living room. Richie had told Richie there was a lot to tell him, and Stanley himself had a lot of questions for his best friends, taking that they'd told him quite strange words upon their own arrival.

“So, wait--what happened when Mike called you all? You went back to Derry?” Stanley asks, his elbows resting on his knees as he has leaned forward. Three of his friends are sitting next to him on the sofa, the other three are sitting on lounge chairs in front of the sofa. It feels like an actual sleepover, all of them have a deja-vu feeling in their whole body and heart. Also it feels like a story-telling night Derry Library used to have, cause a major story would be told. 

His friends nod in answer to his question. “I mean, it was weird. So weird.” Eddie's the first to speak up, and as he does, he shakes his head and looks down. “I crashed my car when Mike called me. And, like, I didn't know who he was at first, but then… Everything kept coming back to me, to all of us. But the most came back when I finally met everyone.”

“Yeah.” Richie nods from next to Eddie. “I mean, I threw up when I got my call. But meeting them was a big relief. You know, I felt safe.”

“Something happened to all of you when Mike called?” Stanley asks, looking around at his friends. They nod again.

“I got into a bad fight.” Beverly says, and Stanley worriedly eyes her after her confession. His eyes hold empathy, but she only shrugs with half a smile. Half a real smile.

“My new project didn't get approved.” Ben says. “I don't know if that's an… an unlucky thing.”

“I also got into a fight.” Bill admits, looking down at his left hand, and Stanley notices how he eyes one specific finger. The finger that should have probably been still holding a marriage ring, but it's naked, no ring on it. 

“Wow.” Stanley sighs. “That's a lot.” He takes a swig from his beer, as does Bill and Richie (almost in sync). 

“A pity you couldn't make it, Stan.” Mike says, a hand landing on Stanley's shoulder. Now is Stanley's turn to nod. “But, you know, there was a strange thing that happened.” 

“More than one.” Eddie points out.

“What?” Stanley asks. “What happened?” All his friends give him scarce looks, which only tells Stanley that what happened was something they still haven't gotten over. Stanley remembers Y/N telling him there's a Mike Hanlon on the phone for him, he remembers talking to Mike and he remembers that the call was in May. It's October now, almost half a year since.

“Well, I was trying to tell everyone why you weren't at the restaurant with us,” Mike starts to say, “but I couldn't get the words out. It's like…”

“You st-started vomiting, Mikey,” Bill points out, almost reminds Mike of what happened.

“Oh, God.” Stanley says, only imagining what Mike could have been barfing up.

“I was vomiting up blood.” Mike says. “But I wasn't hurt. And we couldn't stop it. So I figured I'd just give it a rest, at least while we were in the restaurant. Then we got our fortune cookies, and from each message we got a whole one.”

“Remember when I was in the Deadlights, Stan?” Beverly asks, looking straight at Stanley. He nods. “I saw… horrible, disturbing things. And I saw… I saw you.”

“So, we were heading out of the restaurant and Bev thought to call you up.” Ben says.

“And I… well, Y/N picked up the phone. And she told me that you had… You had passed.” Beverly continues.

“What?” Stanley's face twists in confusion. He feels like he's been accused of a crime he hasn't done.

“It's what I saw in the Deadlights. You… laying in a bloody bath… with your wrists… open.” Beverly takes silent pauses between the words that are hard to say. Stanley puffs deeply and looks down to his feet. 

“She basically saw all of us die. Pennywise told us you.. couldn't cut it, through the fortune cookies.” Richie says.

“But it's not--it's obviously not true. Nothing like that happened. Y/N didn't answer a call on my phone. I didn't get no call, and there was no bath, guys--”

Richie shakes his head. “Don't worry.” He says. “It's quite obvious, man.” Richie makes a funny look on his face, wide eyes and eyebrows raised. The Losers share a breathy chuckle. “It's what would have happened if we hadn't done… what we did when we came back to Derry.”

“So that's why you said that it's good to see me. I thought you were being weird.” Stanley shrugs now and takes another sip from his bottle. He now leans backwards, resting in his sofa with Bill and Mike on his sides, concerning looks in their faces. “You were all looking weird at me, but I thought that was because, you know, we hadn't seen each other in so long.”

“Oh, it's definitely that, too.” Eddie says. Ben grins, Bill laughs an airy chuckle. 

“Well, okay, um…” Stanley doesn't really know what questions to ask. “Well, tell me everything. I don't know what to ask, really.” 

“Bill's great at story-telling, but he's still got his stutter, so I won't nominate him.” Richie says. 

“Yeah, remember how you nominated me as a sacrifice and then I almost died?” Eddie asks, shooting a sceptical look his way. Richie only pokes him with his elbow, but that makes Eddie groan in slight pain. “Bill's lucky not to get nominated.” 

“Sorry. I nominate everyone else.” Richie says.

“Why don't you do it, then?” Eddie questions. Richie looks at him.

“Well, I can. If nobody else wants to.” He responds. “Mike would be great to tell this.”

But the man in question shakes his head. “You go right ahead.” 

“Alright, then.” Richie shrugs, takes a deep sip from his beer bottle and gets into a comfortable position. He crosses his legs in front of him in the lounge chair and leans with his back into the back of it. “So, five months ago in a town not so far away, we all met up again. Mike told us the real reason he asked us to come back, which was to defeat IT. He believed and had proof that IT was back again. Me and Eddie, and, well, everyone, I think, except Mike, wanted to leave after we found out the truth. So we went back to the hotel where our stuff was, but Bill over here went with Mike to his place. Mike showed him a ritual that we would later be performing--which also turned out to be bullshit, Mike--” Richie pointedly looks at Mike, who only sighs and everyone tells Richie to keep his comments to himself, ”and Bill told us about it.

“Meanwhile, at the hotel, Bev told us she's seen all of us die. And we would have, if we hadn't kill IT in this cycle.” Richie continues. “So we realised we can't go back home, and so we stayed. Mike and Bill told us about the ritual of whatever, and said it's the only way to kill IT. So we got some sleep, and then Mike took us out again. Guess where he took us.” Richie genuinely waits for a guess from Stanley, but he's got none and so he shrugs. “Mike took us to the Clubhouse. Remember? That Ben built for us and we went there after the rock fight with Bowers?”

“Oh, yeah, sure, I remember that.” Stanley nods and speaks as if it's not that big a deal. His friends pause.

“You remember?” Eddie deadpans.

“How much do you remember?” Bill asks a more precise question.

“I think I remember everything. But that's not important, I'm trying to hear your story.” Stanley looks at Richie again now, waiting for him to continue. The Losers lose their tense shoulders and relax in their seats, also listening to what Richie's telling them despite knowing it all.

“So, we go to the Clubhouse, where more memories come up, we found your shower cap can.” Richie continues and Stanley chuckles at the fond memory. “And Mike tells us for the ritual to happen we each need to get a token. And we need to find it alone. It's something that we buried when leaving Derry, a piece from our past. So we split up, which we voted against, to each find our token. 

“Mike told us to meet him at the Library at seven, and I was the first to get there. Mike was being attacked by Bowers, he was strangling him. So I took this ancient-looking axe-thingy and did best as I could from the movies I've seen.”

“He killed Bowers with that axe thingy.” Beverly frames it better, since Richie is still a bit wary of the event and his violent action. 

“What!” Stanley almost screams, lunging forward over his knees again, wide eyes boring into Richie. “No shit! Really?!” 

“Yes, really. He saved my life.” Mike confirms the statement. 

“Wow, man! I can imagine what it took to do it.” Stanley says, looking at his best friend in amazement. But Richie shrugs.

“Just some anger.” He says and everyone laughs.

“'Some'.” Eddie echoes, and everyone laughs again. 

“So, I killed Bowers, then everyone else arrived, except Bill.” Richie continues the story. “He met a kid while he was looking for his token, which is also a kid I accidentally yelled at previously, and IT had warned him about this kid, sending a warning on a skateboard, yeah?” Richie looks sceptically at Bill as he asks. Bill nods with a defeated sigh. “So Bill went to the carnival to save the kid, but unfortunately, he couldn't save him. The clown ate him up in front of Bill's eyes.”

“Richie!” Eddie scolds him. “Have some empathy, fuck's sake. Oh, sorry!” Eddie's face immediately changes in realisation that he used a swear-word. 

Stanley shakes his head. “They're probably asleep already.” He says and then turns to Bill. He's lost in his own thoughts, and Stanley reaches a hand around his shoulders. “I'm sorry, man.” Stanley tells him, and Bill only nods, now looking down. “It's not your fault, Big Bill.” Bill gives him a sappy smile. 

“Then Bill decided to go kill IT alone, but of course, we went after him. To Neibolt Street.” Richie keeps telling, and only the name 'Neibolt' sends shivers down Stanley's spine. “We went in together, and man, that was something. We saw some horrible version of you… Younger you... “ Richie looks like he's trying to tell Stanley what they saw, but also that he can't and that he doesn't want to. He shakes his head. He can't do it.

“It's okay, man.” Stanley tells him. “You don't have to.”

“You wanted to know everything, Stan!” Richie says, and there's disappointment in himself in his voice. He's angry at himself for not being able to tell the story.

“If you can't, I don't want to.” Stanley tries to convince him. Richie shakes his head again, and looks down at his hands again.

“It's gonna be hard for him to tell the rest, so I'll take over.” Eddie says, and he clears his throat. “So, there were multiple tricks from IT on our way down Neibolt, but we got through them. We went down into the Sewers again, it was disgusting, of course, and the water level had gotten higher. Oh, and the toys weren't there anymore, remember the pile he had in the huge sewer room?” Stanley nods. “Yeah, well, there was basically only water and a small island from what his lair had left behind. And there was a door, a round door, that we had to go through. At first I thought I couldn't do it, I… I'd had a few doubtful moments before that and I thought… I thought I'd make everyone die cause… Eh, it doesn't matter. Richie made me feel brave and hopeful again.” 

Richie's hand is laying on the hand-rest of his lounge chair, and Eddie reaches over it protectively, grasping Richie's palm between his fingers. Stanley smiles widely and in slight surprise, even a tear pricking his eye. Eddie's words touched his heart, and the hand contact between him and Richie touched Stanley's empathic heart even deeper. 

“Oh and Bev, too, she gave me this spike and told me it kills monsters! That was also cool. Thanks again, Bev.” Eddie looks over to Beverly and she smiles. “There was a tunnel under the door, and it led down to the real lair of IT. It looked weird, it looked like something out of a museum, honestly, if it didn't have that horrid smell and ugliness. Um, well, we performed the ritual, we burned all of our tokens--realistically, most of them can't even be burned, but whatever--and we were chanting and holding hands, and there were these lights--the Deadlights!--coming down from above and we were still chanting, and we got the lights inside a prysm-thingy that Mike brought, and we thought we'd done it.

“But it was another trick from IT. A huge balloon started to grow out of it, making us all run to the corners of the room, but it burst right at the last second. We were deaf for like, a few minutes, but then we got back on our feet and uh… Oh, then we found out the ritual was bullshit, um--IT appeared again. We saw its true form, I think, the lights appeared again and then Pennywise himself. He was huge, like his head or the top of his body was on a gigantic spider. He basically told us how he'd had this weird obsession over us for the last twenty-seven years, talking about how he wanted to eat us and just--eh, it was really weird.

“Mike wanted to die for us, but we wouldn't let him. IT had his game with us, he chased us around his entire lair, we saw a bunch of weird shit. Basically, we were separated - I was with Rich, Bev was with Ben, and Mike and Bill were on their own. Then we came back to the center, where IT was about ready to strangle Mike, but then Richie stopped him. He got himself trapped in the Deadlights. But then I… I had the spike Bev gave me with me and I threw it at the huge Pennywise-spider.” 

“You did what, Eddie?” Stanley gasps and opens his mouth in shock again. Eddie nods, a prideful smile on his own lips.

“Yeah, he saved my life, I think.” Richie says, a grateful look in his eyes towards Eddie.

“You think? I did save your life, you asshole!” Eddie gets offended, an accusatory look thrown at Richie. Everyone laughs. Eddie is back. “Anyway, Pennywise fell on a spike and got impaled and um, I went over to Richie to tell him I'd done it, and then I got impaled by Pennywise.” Stanley's breath catches in his throat. “They dragged me into one of the caves that was there and I told them I'd crack the way to hurt IT. I found it when I was looking for my token. It was… to make him weaker. Basically, insult him. 

“We tried to run away through a tunnel, but IT caught us. We were back in the center. And then, because I was wounded, I was in a corner while they just started insulting IT. I think you'd be best at IT, Stan. I also think us as kids could have really killed IT then, I mean, the way we talked and the words we used, but I guess as a kid you're more afraid, perhaps you're weaker then. So, anyways, they 'killed him with insults' until he got to a really small size and then they crushed what you could call his heart.

“And, then, of course, we moved out of there. As quick as we could, since they had to carry me and since the entire sewer system and Neibolt House started to come down. And--would you believe it--as they were getting me to the hospital, going through town, our scars healed. All our scars healed. Even my huge wound in the--in my abdomen.”

“Wow. I thought it had been weird that my scar disappeared. Two days after Mike called.” Stanley says, a look of realisation crossing his face. He takes another swig of his beer and sighs. 

“Yeah, and, well… We're all fine. We did it. We killed IT.” Richie finishes the bed-time story. Stanley nods, and then takes a minute to process their words. 

Even though they weren't together, his friends had done it. They'd killed the thing that had fed on fear and fed Stanley and his friends' own fears and anxieties. And the journey, as well as the process of killing IT, was not easy. Stanley would never imagine that it would be rainbows and daisies and unicorns. But what they went through - and the fact that they went through it all for a second time - was horrible, and it still takes a toll on his friends, their hearts, their minds. 

Bill's obviously still feeling guilt for his brother and the kid Richie talked about. Richie is still processing what he saw, processing what happened to Eddie. Beverly is still getting over her childhood abuse. Ben's still quiet, he's still shy and insecure, even though he's turned into the hottest man on Earth. Mike and Eddie are the ones who seem the most free, most free from their self-created fears and trauma from IT and their childhoods. Stanley can only hope and wish the rest of his friends to achieve the same freedom. 

“You guys are… Wow, I can't even find the right words. Um,” Stanley runs a hand over his face and looks over his friends again, “you really are heroes. No one might know it, you might not be world-famous heroes, but you guys are heroes. For yourselves and for me.” 

The Losers can only give him shy smiles in response, nod, look down. They clearly don't think so highly of themselves, but that's the crystal clear difference between them and Stanley. Stanley always saw them as the most beautiful, the best, best, best people in the whole world. He saw them as the best friends ever, the best friends in the whole world and the only people he could be friends with. They understood him, they cheered him up, they loved him and they made him laugh and made him smile. Most of all, they filled up his heart and made him believe in himself. That's the best part.

“Let's do a group hug.”

And so they did.

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LST tag-list: @elioelioeli0 @illcutmyhair @letstalkstories @seasidecrowbar