#the second hand embarrassment is astronomical

[sixteenyearoldmeblog]

MATTY HEALY IS NOW ENGAGED TO HIS GIRLFRIEND LMAOOOOO

[pluto-incognito]

My [greatest] love sprung from my [greatest] hate…

… or whatever Shakespeare said.

[webslingingslasher]

https://www.tumblr.com/webslingingslasher/739562902099492864/the-panic-attack-please-im-cackling-jdjdjdj-it

also he would feel so bad😭😭 the fetishise ask thing got me thinking. imagine she lies or pretends she’s not a virgin at first just bc guys are super weird when they find out ab it, so she does that just as a protection thing/to get weird guys off her back. so Peter doesn’t know & imagine they’re making out or whatever but he’s super quick with it and suddenly there’s a dick in front of her and she starts panicking JAHAHAHAAHA

I csnt stop laughing picturing this. he’d be so confused but so worried HABABA

*cleaning out my inbox* an: this is not our trouble/reader. this is an au with our peter!

you got a little too far into it. in your defense, your friends told you instinct would take over and you’d just fall into it and you’d do anything when you’re horny and in the moment.

but right now, in this moment, you’re panicking because someone other than you is taking your shirt off, and someone other than you is touching your breasts.

you got this, you can handle this. you’ve made it this close, what’s a little closer? you could finally get it over with, and with a guy that’s astronomically hot. god was giving you a chance and you weren’t about to fuck it up.

you can handle being tossed to the bed, you can handle warm palms cupping your ass, you can handle a brush of his core into yours. you can handle peter taking off his pants, you can handle peter… peter… he’s-

peter’s got a big dick, and it’s coming right at your virgin body, and you can’t handle this. how are you supposed to lie your way out of this? or was it into this?

it doesn’t matter, he’s going to know the second he tries to put it in. fuck, is he going to put it in? yes, that’s how sex works- okay, fuck, shut up!

peter’s got a gleam in his eye, how fucked were you about to make things? you’re the one that came onto him and now you’re freaking out because there’s a real deal penis and real deal sex situation happening and you have no idea what to do.

‘that’s a penis.’ your hands clasp over your mouth, it was the least sexiest thing you could say and it shows on peter’s face.

‘i’ve…’ you swallow hard and feel everything in you ignite, you’re praying to any god listening he just takes you out of your misery right then and there. isn’t premarital sex a sin? you should be burnt at the stake.

‘i’ve never seen one before.’

‘oh, jesus christ.’ a shuffle, it’s out of your sight and you can’t begin to explain the relief. you stare down at your hands, if you didn’t have to walk by peter, you’d be out of his room in a second.

you peek up at a flash in the corner of your eye, your shirt was outstretched and pushed into your hold. ‘if you can’t see mine, i can’t see yours.’ your chest doesn’t feel as tight, he’s not mad, just a little thrown off.

‘i’m sorry.’ you’re still shy when you meet his eyes, even if you’re fully clothed. ‘but like, i didn’t tell you i wasn’t a virgin.’

peter crosses his arms over his chest. ‘and you didn’t tell me you were until it got too real.’ he’s right, your shoulders slump, isn’t it just embarrassing? not even the lying, just the fact you’re in college and you’re still a virgin.

‘i just thought it could get it out of the way, i don’t know.’

peter scoffs, ‘well, you don’t do it like this.’

does that mean he’s off the table, did you shoot too high? ‘so, you don’t have sex with virgins?’

‘it’s not in my day to day schedule, no.’

‘you’ve never taken a girls virginity?’

‘did i say that?’

‘no.’ it’s unsettled emotion, it’s the only reason you huff and cross your arms at him. yes, make this his fault.

‘i thought you’d be the perfect candidate, but i guess not. i didn’t know frat boys actually cared this much.’ if peter wasn’t going to kick you out before, he would now. you offended him.

‘the fuck? sex is a whole different ball game when you’re a virgin. you don’t know that yet, i do. it’s my job to make sure you’re comfortable and have a good time, that wouldn’t have happened if you didn’t tell me.’

you started something, he wasn’t stopping.

‘i’m not saying there aren’t guys like that out there-that’ll do what you want, but it’s not me. if you want to get it over with like that, fine. but i’m not doing it in one night.’

you naw on your bottom lip, if you got this far what’s one more question? ‘so, would you?’

‘would i what?’ you chew harsher, it was easier to just pretend you weren’t a virgin. you shouldn’t never stopped him. ‘take my virginity.’ you spit the words, before he could try to repeat himself, ‘i mean, at your speed or whatever.’

peter has a series of emotions run through his mind, they all tell him it’s a bad idea. the heightened emotions, the awkwardness, the whole hurt thing, he just never really thought he’d have to go through it again.

‘you don’t know me.’ it should be more than enough, but you counteract him. ‘i know. that’s kind of why i chose you.’

a deep inhale, ‘you baited me? was this your plan?’ you try to clear the idea with your hands. ‘no, no, no! the plan was to not tell you but then i got scared. but since you already know… you know?’

‘no.’

you drop your head into your hands, everything is getting worse. you should’ve went through with it. ‘everything is awful and i want to die. i’m so sorry, peter. we can just forget this ever happened and if you see me around campus, no you don’t.’

you try to paint yourself invisible, instead you get a half earnest sigh from peter. ‘alright, look, you’re fine. it’s fine. you’re actually… strides ahead than i was when i was a virgin, okay?’

of course he says that, he’s already been through it. ‘but im too old to be a virgin!’

‘pft, what? no. have you seen 40 year old virgin?’ you cry out into your hands, ‘im not steve carell!’ you really had to pick a man? was that really the only option you had?

‘be honest with me, the pathetic virgin-‘

‘stop.’

‘- if i do this with another guy will he know?’ you hold on tight for the answer, it’s not long, it’s immediate. ‘yes.’ you’re not sure if he’s just saying that so you don’t throw off another guy.

‘no, seriously. would he-‘

‘yes.’ you exhale a ‘fuck.’ game over, if you really wanted this, you’d actually have to find someone to date you. that sounds like actual hell.

since you’re already in the pits, ‘peter?’ a hum, you finally blink up at him. ‘are you sure you won’t do it?’ you watch him take a solid breath, his next words chosen articulately.

‘when did i say i wouldn’t?’

you explode in a smile, you were right, you chose the right person. ‘you will? like, you’re gonna make me not a virgin?’

peter thinks- no, knows it’s a bad idea, but you’re going to do it regardless and he knows he’s better than a majority of guys on campus. he’d actually make sure you’re safe and comfortable. was he really about to do all the first steps with someone he didn’t know?

yeah. he was.

‘yes. i’ll take your virginity.’

[corpsebasil]

Quit Staring

ethan brainrot dont talk to me this got me like 💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

The Halloween party was loud. Extremely loud, and you could barely hear yourself think, let alone the guy that was attempting to hit on you.

“So like, I’ve got this cool new game upstairs. It’s called a Ouija Board and you talk like, to the dead and shit. Wanna try it out?”

What.

“Ouija? The game literally everyone knows about?” You took a long sip of your watered down vodka red-bull and looked the frat boy up and down. “You know there’s a movie right?”

“Ah whatever.” He seemed to be slurring a bit, blinking lazily at you. “Nice dress by the way. What are you, an angel?”

You only stared, wondering if barking at him would make him go away, when an arm slid around your waist and pulled you into their chest. You tensed before realizing it was just Ethan; he’d lost his helmet at some point in the night and his dark hair was a tad bit sweaty.

“She’s Juliet.” He told the guy, gesturing to his knight costume and your angel wings. “I’m Romeo.”

“Is that, like, a movie?” The frat boy asked, peering at you in confusion. You almost gawked.

“Dude are you serious?” Ethan’s eyebrow raised. The frat boy, looking suddenly a bit embarrassed, found himself somewhere else to be. “Jesus, what an idiot.”

You snorted and pulled away, turning to face him. He seemed a little tipsy but not too bad, his expression warm and eyes soft as they stared down at you.

“Thanks for saving me.” You said, reaching out to adjust his costume a bit. “I thought I was actually losing brain cells.”

“Yeah he—”

“Ohmygoood.” A girl cooed, pausing in front of the two of you. You raised your brows and took a sip from your rapidly emptying cup. “I love that movie.” The side eye Ethan gave you was so astronomical you almost spit out your drink. “Wow. And Leo is so hot, right?” She continued, oblivious to the both of you’s disinterest.

But when she laid her hand on his shoulder, smiling flirtatiously, you felt something strangely territorial run over you. If knives could be magically produced by your vision this sorority sister’s hand would fall off.

“You don’t really look like Leo, though.” She said and you moved forward, wrapping your arm around Ethan’s waist. Her eyes widened and she immediately moved back, to her credit. You almost admired her rapid retreat. “Oh shit. I’m sorry. I’m drunk. Are two you a couple?”

“Yeah—” Ethan said, at the same time as you said, “Couple of besties.”

Ethan turned his head to look at you and you avoided his stare, sure you would laugh if you saw what would most likely be his amused expression as well. The girl whistled under her breath and nodded, mumbling ‘okayyy’ under her breath as she moved away.

The second she was gone you laughed, pulling Ethan closer to you and glancing up at him. He was looking down at you with a quizzical expression on his face, his brows knit. You shook him a little, an awkward laugh leaving your mouth.

“Quit staring at me, E.” You teased. You tousled his curls and grabbed his hand, dragging him along with you. “Come on. I say we get super drunk, go to my place, and order takeout. I would massacre a small town for a Caesar salad and a Diet Coke—what?”

He’d tugged you to a stop, those brown eyes of his on your face.

“Do you—” he started, seeming hesitant, and you smiled.

“Do I what?” When he didn’t speak you took his face in your hands, ignoring the stunned expression he now wore. Lord, you must’ve been tipsier than you’d thought. “Spit it out E.”

He swallowed.

“Do you like me?”

Your eyes narrowed, thinking, before you let out a laugh. He tensed, mouth forming into a frown, but you only giggled, running your thumbs across his cheeks, not allowing him to pull back from your grip.

“Of course, E, what the fuck?” You tugged him forward and his breath hitched, but he let out a cry of protest, batting you away when you placed an extremely wet, extremely loud kiss to the side of his face.

“Jesus, Y/N.” He wiped at his cheek, glaring, but you could tell he was holding back a laugh. “That was awful.”

“I could try again.”

“I’m extremely seduced, thank you. Good god.” He wiped at his face a couple more times, cringing, before allowing you to yank him towards the drink tables.

-

An hour or so later the two of you sat bundled up in your bed, eyes glued to the screen as you watch Girl vs. Monster.

You had insisted on watching a classic horror movie and, when Ethan had asked if you wanted to see Stab 1 or Halloween or something, you’d opened up Disney Plus. Of course Ethan, being Ethan, only pretended to protest before he’d gotten into the film.

“These outfits are questionable.” He said, taking a long sip from your Diet Coke. He had his arm wrapped around you, you snuggled up into his side. “I mean, extremely.”

“This is peak Disney Channel fashion.” You argued, glancing up at him, he pressed his lips together in a smile that made him look so boyish, so adorable, that your stomach dropped. “They um—” You looked away, your face warming. “If you think this is bad you should’ve seen Shake It Up.”

“Wait, do you know that scene in Camp Rock where the girl’s playing the keyboard thingy and it’s awful and everyone pretends it’s great?”

“She’s really good.” You gasped, and Ethan’s laugh made you grin.

He tugged you further up onto to him and propped his chin on your head, his free arm looping over your waist so that he held you completely in his grasp. You felt his fingers twitch against your stomach, him getting adjusted and comfortable, and when he’d finally settled he began running his fingers lazily back and forth over your stomach.

You swallowed.

You weren’t sure why you felt like your skin was buzzing, your heartbeat quickening as you felt his chest rise and fall against your back.

“E?” You whispered, and heard the vibration of his hmmm? run through you. “When you uh,” you took in a slow breath when his arms tightened a fraction around you. “when you asked me if I liked you, what did you mean?”

His movements stilled and he sighed, shrugging. You turned in his grip to face him, your eyes searching his own.

“What did you mean?” You pressed, your cheeks flushed as you stared at your friend. He seemed to take in your expression with a hint of surprise, then with encouragement, as he reached out ran his fingers through your hair.

“I think you know what I meant.” He said, those doe eyes finding your own, and he’d barely opened his mouth to say something—you didn’t know what—before you lunged forward and kissed him.

He let out a noise of surprise that quickly turned into a sigh as you pressed your mouth against his own, clutching his shirt in your hands as his arms slid further around your back. You moved away a fraction to look at him as he pulled you to straddle his lap, and the smile he gave you was so gorgeous you screamed internally.

You felt like you needed to take a lap, to run around, to call Ethan and tell him what just— You wanted to tell Ethan about himself. Good god, this was what you got for kissing your friends.

“So I’m assuming you do like me?” He teased, biting nervously on his bottom lip, and you leaned in to kiss him again. This time it was slower, your mouth parting his own as you licked into him, and he groaned. “You have no idea,” he whispered, moving his hands to touch your face, “how long I’ve had a crush on you for.”

The butterflies you felt were insane. Especially when he asked, kissing you softly, “will you please be my girlfriend already?”

You laughed and nodded, slipping your fingers into his hair.

this shit got my kicking my FEET

[santsukii]

ᯓ✿ but you’re not mine

ˋ°•*⁀➷ ei and miko (separately) falling for you while you’re dating the other

ˋ°•*⁀➷ raiden ei, yae miko x gn! reader (separate)

₊˚ angst!! unrequited love, no poly eimiko in this one that’ll be a different fic

the electro archon’s knowledge that you were dating her best friend and the only person who truly understood her would destroy her from the inside out. though her puppet gave a look of indifference, the deity residing within said puppet was anything but. if she could even begin to live up to her citizens’ expectations of her, then would you love her the way you loved the kitsune? ei knew she shouldn’t be so jealous of her only true friend, but she would give the whole world to be the one holding your hand, kissing you, taking you on dates, sharing her snacks with you. having you be just out of her reach was somehow astronomically more painful than the idea of never having met you at all.

the goddess of electro’s love for you was similar to the ideal she ruled over, eternal. the day she finally worked up the courage to confess to you despite your feelings for someone else, a thunderstorm raged outside to signal her inner turmoil. in her artificial throat remained the words she had wished to say to you, but went silent the second they tried to leave her mouth. a love language of averted eyes and avoidance had become the status quo between you and ei, rather unfortunately. if she could tell you how she felt, would you truly understand the weight of the words and what they meant?

for the sake of conversation, could she read your body language? it’s ultimately the best she’d ever get when it comes to you, so it’s best for ei to simply let go and watch you drift away from her. as painful as it would be, it would be for the best. her feelings for you would never truly fade as time went by, the sting of her unrequited love seemed to only grow. loving you from the sidelines had become ei’s unfortunate fate, always making herself cry when she thought about it at the wrong times. she would love you endlessly for the rest of her time living, just say it’s over and let her turn off her feelings and retreat back into her meditation.

in her own time, ei would stop taking control of her puppet so often when you were around. those sparkling purple eyes were replaced with something lifeless and pained indifference towards you.

to embrace someone’s drifting heart and force herself to smile would always be difficult to the kitsune. hiding her love for you behind a flirty and caring mask, how long would it be before she cracked and forced herself to simply say she loved you despite your dating the electro archon. she knew she wasn’t much more than a subordinate of said archon and the holder of the gnosis, but that love for you refused to go away. miko often found herself forcing the feelings down just before she said something that would even hint ever so slightly at her love for you. with that heart of hers that seemed on the verge of just breaking from the sting of seeing you with ei, avoidance was the best she could do. the day she met you, she became dizzy and frozen and simply held her breath before she said something that would ultimately embarrass her.

oh how miko wished it was her, why were you even with ei when the guuji-sama was right there? she was a better match for you than the electro archon anyway, that much was obvious. even then, it was just a useless fantasy she couldn’t help but hold onto out of a pained desperation that you would be hers one day. she could treat you so much better than a puppet whose master was barely ever present anyway, right? every night, miko is the one you’d be talking to you until you fall asleep, shopping with you and buying your favorite foods just to see that beautiful smile grace your adorable face again. as long as you were happy, she supposed she could find a way to move one eventually. your happiness and satisfaction were always exponentially more important in the eyes of the kitsune. sure, it would be nice if you could just love someone who was more than willing to sweep you off your feet with her naturally flirty personality. alas, it just wasn’t the right time. you clearly loved ei, so there was just nothing she could do.

watching helplessly from the side as you seemed to love ei more and more as the days went by, that was the life miko was relegated to. how could she truly grow to adore the world around her when it all seemed to remind her of you? the least she could do in this situation is bottle up those overly convoluted feelings that no one ever truly wants and try to forget about them. when you looked at her, what was it behind your eyes that you longed to see within her? her poor heart simply shattered when she found out you were with her best friend when she had loved you for so much longer. such is retribution for falling so helplessly in love with you. why couldn’t she just tell the truth so you didn’t have to lie?

the things she would give to be able to hold you close, have you fall into her the way you did in her best dreams. she knew deep down that in the end, it would never be her turn. maybe one day she’d at least be able to express those feelings.

[some-beans]

Saw the Zuko reader and came to request again *lipbite*

Could I request! A Fem!Gaara!Reader (Naruto)? With the hmmM, lemme request individually

With Leona, Jamil, Azul, Vil, Kalim and Jack?

The whole shebang (kazekage title included 👉🏼👈🏼) if not could I request a Fem!Toph!Reader instead?

Here have a pic of my (non-biological, non-adopted) baby brother when he was a kid, he's a whole mood honestly

gdfhgdcgfh his a mood and i'll do toph cuz i have not watched naruto 😀😀

✎...pairing: leona, jack, azul, kalim, jamil, vil x toph!reader ✎...themes: blind reader, blind shenanigans, reader is fem with she/her in mind ✎...enjoy !!

𝐋𝐄𝐎𝐍𝐀

y'all. . .

i feel your first interaction with leona would be exactly like toph with the boulder

100% that's how it happens

but shifts his view once you fold his ass when he overblotted

like

he goes to create his unique magic, but it instantly gets flung back at him with your bending

it also didn't help when you used surrounding metal to cage him

felt stupid ngl

also gets very annoyed cuz he can never skip class bc you always manage to find him with your seismic sense

does respect the fact you treat him like everyone else and not, like, just the second prince

𝐉𝐀𝐂𝐊

respect

that's jack, straight up

he finds your seismic sense so fascinating

like, he tries to sneak up on you a lot and fails

still, he tries

he does ask you, though almost like a tsundere, to train with him

he did at some point ask you if you could teach him earthbending

. . .

that didn't work out

cuz yk. . . from different worlds and shit

also

don't tell him that i told y'all this, but. . . jack do be loving those head scratches you give him

𝐀𝐙𝐔𝐋

listen

the amount of blind jokes and pranks you pull on this mf is astronomical

like

your go-to move whenever he offers you a contract is to accept, hum and then wave your hand in front of your face

if only you could see the embarrassed blush on his face

it also doesn't that he has to deal with the mess made by your bending whenever floyd tries to squeeze you

it fails

and he now has to try and fix the lounge's walls

however!

he almost cries when he watches you easily bend it back to its original state

𝐊𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐌

oh, sunshine baby

he 100% reminds you of twinkle toes back home

bc of that

blind shenanigans ensue

tho

he will cause a flood if you pull one and accidentally offends you

you two cause jamil so much stress

cuz you're an enabler

through and through

pray for jamil y'all

𝐉𝐀𝐌𝐈𝐋

this poor man

someone help before shit hits the fan again

the best way to describe the relationship you two had was when toph and katara fight

that's how you two are around each other

even after jamil overblotted

especially when he tried to hypnotise you bc you couldn't make proper eye contact

lowkey getting grey hairs and wrinkles

however, he is secretly grateful when you help bend broked collums back into shape whenever the dorm's parties get too out of hand

𝐕𝐈𝐋

oh boy

the amount of stress you give him

he's praying he doesn't get wrinkles or grey hairs

you're the epel

but worse

and yet

you never cease to amaze him

with your earth bending, you casually mentioned that a branded deal with some jewellery company was lying about their product being gold

it was not

vil was understandably angry, yet, he was curious about how you knew

something about the pure metal a.k.a. less earth the metal has, the harder to bend

[the-ginger-hinata]

Haikyuu 01 x 01

The second hand embarrassment for Hinata is astronomical

[kiyokothehuman]

Secrets of the Stars

pairing: ranpo x reader

summary: using ultra deduction for deducting things other than mysteries

a/n: yall i had to research for this because my stupid ass did not know a thing about constellations LMAOO 😭🙏

you slowly inhaled the cold air as you peacefully walked through the corridors until you felt a hand on your shoulder. you turned around and saw a certain green eyed detective. the first thing you noticed was his loose tie and messy collar. he wore a black suit with his jacket over his shoulders. "mind if i show you something?" ranpo spoke. you raised a brow at his proposal as curiosity took over you.

"alright.. what is it?" you replied to which he replied with a small 'yay.' ranpo took your hand in his and dragged you with him.

if you could scream at the top of your lungs right now you would because the most intelligent and incredibly handsome man is holding your hand. you catched a glimpse of fukuzawa smiling, looking at the two of you as your embarrassment deepened.

"where are we going?" you asked.

"upstairs." ranpo swiftly responded.

the two of you'd walked towards the marble stairs, your hand still interlocked with his as you tried to keep your composure.

the detective brought you to a small balcony, showing the moon in its full glory. you stood there in awe, taking a step forward to see the astronomical object. the moon truly was beautiful tonight.

ranpo chuckled and stood beside you. "look over there." he spoke as the detective ppointed to a constellation. "coma berencies." you muttered.

"an ancient asterism found in the northern sky. coincidentally, also one of my favourites." you added to which ranpo huffed.

"looks like someones done their homework." he teased, crossing his arms.

your eyes still heavily glued to the constellation in the sky. "i'm guessing this isn't the only reason why you called me here." you concluded, turning your attention to him. ranpo simply moved closer to you as he smirked. "observant as ever. that's correct." he replied.

"you've been hiding something from me. haven't you, y/n?" he stated in a strict tone, revealing his emerald green eyes that made you weak in the knees.

you were dumbfounded. you examined his face and the green hue of his eyes. your breath hitched as you anticipated for his conclusion. even though it looked like you were being accused of a crime you haven't committed, it's as if you were living a fantasy when you took a glance at the detective.

ranpo pulled out his glasses from his jackets pocket as he examined your features. "my ability tells me," he paused, leaving you curious in what he'll say. you almost stopped breathing when you looked at his stunning appearance and how the moons reflected light gently showered over his skin.

"that you're in love with me."

what. you stared at him dumfounded for a few seconds until processing what the detective just said. you blushed profureously and panicked. you were prepared for anything, except that. "hah!? no way, that has to be wrong!" you exclaimed as your words slowly died down to mere whispers. "oh? but my ultra deduction is never wrong." ranpo responded putting his hand on your chin, gently lifting your head up so you could face him, forcing you to stare at the features of his face.

you were pushed back to a wall while there was barely any space between the two of you. your noses almost touched while ranpo stared deep into your eyes, making you weak in the knees. you could literally collapse in any moment right now.

ranpo held your wrists and pinned it to the wall, unconsciously making a small grunt. you were visibly flustered at this point and trying hide your blush was useless. "you're such a terrible, terrible liar." ranpo whispered as he leaned into your ear his lips brushing against your skin. his finger slowly pressed down on your wrist, making you even more embarrassed. "you say it's a lie and yet your pulse says otherwise, y/n." he continued.

the detective finally pulled away leaving you breathless as he laughed. "i'm kidding! i was just messing with you, of course you'd never–" you cut of his words as you grabbed his tie, pulling his face close to yours and kissed him.

his lips were soft, and tasted like candy. he was taken back at the surprise you've given him. ranpo held your cheek as he positioned his face to a better angle, fully indulging in the little treat you've given him. no words were exchanged as the two of you fully understood each other. your eyes softened and relaxed, as if all your problems disappeared at this very moment.

the two of you finally pulled away, while quietly gasped for air. "so that's what you wanted to show?" you asked to which you recieved an innocent smile in return while you sighed in defeat. "hmm, is it?" he teased.

[thedevilsfamiliar]

The second hand embarrassment I get when I read a fic and Jason is wearing the Robin costume while beating the shit out of Tim is ASTRONOMICAL

I read ONE fic where Jason clowns on himself for trying to do that and I just— I can’t

Please all I can think is beef bro in booty shorts I can’t

[male-reader-haven]

~That Horrible,, Wonderful Feeling~

Author note:

Chapter 2 wholesomeness ahead!! Idk if any of you caught it in my last upload before I edited it but I left my name in place of one of the Y/N placeholders... Oops. Needless to say I write these with myself in mind first lmao. Anyways, enjoy a relaxing date with Namjoon!!!

Chapter 2: New is Scary

Namjoon's POV as Y/N takes him to a museum. They share tons of moments, learn some more, and get closer to each other. A bit closer than intended... While his mind should be focused on the artwork and history on display, Namjoon can't help but find himself distracted by Y/N's adorable charm. What's happening to him?

ALSO INCLUDING: Y/N's perspective as his best friend helps him through gay panic

Pairing: Kim Namjoon x male idol Y/N (who has the same birthday as Jimin)

TW: Internalized homophobia, awkward moments, guilt, 18+

Word count: 3,648

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After another 15 minutes Y/N and Namjoon arrive at the museum and park. They had called ahead to let the museum know they were coming so they could bring their own security, but when they arrived they realized they wouldn't need it since the museum is basically empty, save for an elderly couple walking in together from off the bus. Y/N parks the car and looks at Namjoon excitedly.

“We got the place to ourselves! Let's go!” He hops out of the car, Namjoon smiles and puts up his black mask and gets out of the passenger side. Y/N slips up his own mask and locks the car with a short “beep.” He goes over to Namjoon and grabs his hand.

“C’mon, let's go!” Namjoon smiles under his mask as Y/N practically drags him into the museum.

They walk in the building together and check in at the front desk. The lady is very polite and shows them a small sign.

“If you scan this QR code with your phone it sends you to the audio guide for our exhibits so you can listen along.”

“That’s new.” Namjoon remarks. He reaches into his pocket and pulls out his airpods and phone. He frowns slightly and turns to Y/N. “I usually bring these to listen to music as I look, but I also want to listen to the guide.”

“Here, I have an idea!” Y/N reaches into his own pocket and pulls out his own airpods. “Here, you play your music with your airpods and I will play the audio guide and we can each share one earbud.” He scans the sign and holds out an earbud in his hand towards Namjoon. 

“Perfect!” Namjoon smiles and trades earbuds with Y/N. They walk away from admission and put their earbuds in. 

“Now it’s my turn to judge your music taste!” Y/N laughs. Namjoon smiles, somewhat nervously. After a second too long of scrolling through his playlists Namjoon finally decides to play “Gymnopedie No. 1,” looking up to see if Y/N approves. Y/N smiles.

“Perfect.” He then turns to his phone and taps the play icon for the audio guide, only to make both of them jump with a blast of sound.

“Ah! Sorry, volume.” After he frantically lowers the volume to a good level, they both chuckle.

“Listen to loud music, huh?” Namjoon laughs. 

“On occasion…” Y/N looks away, slightly shy from embarrassment. They begin walking and observing pieces in the national designated culture assets collection. The audio guide’s soft voice and the lull of the music provide a great combination of background noise as they admire the art. Namjoon notices that Y/N tends to walk and sway along with the music subconsciously, his head rocking back and forth gently as he bends down to read captions. He walks gracefully, nearly dancing as he makes his way to the next piece. Namjoon has a tight feeling in his stomach. They stop to admire “Sin-gubeop cheonmundo,” an old astronomical chart. Namjoon looks at Y/N, who is staring wide-eyed at the constellations and markings. His lips are slightly parted as his eyes graze over the parchment, slightly sparkling. Namjoon is enamored by Y/N’s thoughtful expressions, and the soothing music in the back of his mind doesn’t help how fluttery he feels looking at him. 

He is beautiful.

Y/N turns and meets Namjoon’s eyes for a split second and Namjoon snaps his head back to the chart as if nothing happened. Out of the corner of his eye Namjoon sees Y/N turn his head also. They move on in comfortable silence and spend an hour looking at more historical pieces. Namjoon stays at the rear, watching as Y/N explores in adorable wonder. His mind is drifting away from the audio guide and he gets lost in watching him move from piece to piece. Y/N himself looks like he should be a work of art, put behind protective glass to shield him from the cruel outside world. He dances around the empty hallways and by dimly lit artworks. As far as Namjoon is concerned, the whole museum was built just for him. Y/N turns around and meets Namjoon’s gaze. Namjoon doesn’t look away this time, enamored by Y/N’s warm smile.

“Hungry?” Y/N asks after a moment. As if on cue, Namjoon’s stomach makes a gurgling sound.

“Guess so.” They laugh and head to the museum cafe. 

Y/N orders a hot chai tea latte with oat milk and a rice cake and Namjoon orders an iced americano with egg bread. They sit down on bar stools next to the glass wall that shows the outside garden. 

“I need to go to museums more often, I really love it here!” Y/N remarks, taking a sip of his tea. “It’s so peaceful compared to the rest of the city.”

“Yeah, whenever I have even just 30 minutes of free time from working I try to go to museums. They calm me down and help me clear my mind. It’s part of why I love art so much.” He looks at Y/N. “What do you like about art?”

“Wow, loaded question.” Y/N laughs. “Well, I like thinking about what made the artist create their pieces. What time period it was, what was going on at the time, how they felt, what prompted them to create, etcetera. I like the personality behind it.” He looks out the window, resting his head in his hand. “It’s like taking a glimpse into a stranger’s mind and seeing what it’s like. It's intimate.” Namjoon nods. He takes note of how the setting sun’s golden glow shines on Y/N’s hair, making it a warm color. There’s that funny feeling in his chest again.

This is new…  Since when do I notice things like that about him?...

Namjoon fidgets in his seat and looks down at his coffee. 

“I missed hanging out with you, Joon. It’s been forever since you've been working so hard for the last few months. It’s like we never see you.” Namjoon feels a twinge of guilt after hearing him say that. 

“I’m sorry, I get stuck up in my head sometimes. Yoongi too. When we start the process, it's hard to stop.” He sips his coffee. “I need to remember to take more breaks before I burn out.”

“Seriously. You know if you ever need to wind down or want to go to a museum, I'd be happy to come with. We don’t even really have to talk if it takes too much energy.” He crosses his arms. “Plus, somebody’s gotta make sure you don’t break down completely.”

Namjoon chuckles.

“Okay, I’ll keep that in mind.” 

After some time chatting at the cafe, Namjoon and Y/N decide to head back home and chill with takeout and movies until the rest of the band gets back. Y/N orders chinese (sesame chicken, orange chicken, wontons and crab rangoons) while Namjoon flips through Netflix.

“Any recommendations?” Namjoon says over his shoulder.

“Shhh, on the phone, one sec.” Y/N responds. Namjoon just nods and continues flipping, making note of all 8 member’s profile images on Netflix. Taehyung has a strange cartoon slug, Jimin is Queen Elizabeth from “The Crown,” Jungkook is the chicken from “Lost in Space,” Yoongi is a leopard from some nature documentary, J-hope is a default orange smiley icon, Jin is Aggretsuko, Y/N is a penguin and Namjoon’s is a koala. He wonders to himself if everyone chose their own or if somebody assigned all their icons. He scrolls down his account and realizes there is so much that he hasn’t seen, let alone heard of. Y/N hangs up his phone and joins Namjoon on the sofa.

“Should be around 30 minutes.” He gets comfortable and grabs a large blanket to settle under. He offers Namjoon the blanket as well, and he accepts, getting comfortable.

“What do you want to watch?” He asks Y/N. He pauses a second. “What genres do you like?”

“Ooh, I love horror and comedy. I’m always down for a classic supernatural horror or a rom com. OH, but I have a huge soft spot for action movies with huge robots or monsters.” Y/N turns to Namjoon. “What about you?” 

“I like dramas and science fiction. That's interesting, I never knew you were a horror fan. Wouldn’t quite peg you for someone who likes that stuff.” He tilts his head. Y/N laughs.

“Yeah? Well surprise, this pretty boy listens to heavy metal and screamo, likes horror, and listens to true crime podcasts.” He winks. “I’m not as innocent as I look, you know.” 

The two of them end up finding a science fiction/horror movie about astronauts going into space with a dangerous alien on board. About 20 minutes into the movie, Namjoon notices how quiet it has gotten and looks over to find Y/N falling asleep. 

Geez, must still be feeling the effects of yesterday.  

He smiles as he watches him slowly nod his head, repeatedly catching himself just to nod off again. He leans forward and gently grabs Y/N’s shoulders, helping him lean back into the sofa rather than leaning forward and nearly falling off. Y/N lets him and ends up leaning back on Namjoon’s shoulder, making himself comfortable. Namjoon can feel his breaths as Y/N basically falls into his lap asleep. Namjoon is startled but doesn't want to move him, so he just puts his left arm around him and tries to focus on the movie. He can’t stop his eyes from being drawn to Y/N’s head in his lap, however, and he finds himself subconsciously bringing his right hand to Y/N’s head and stroking his hair. The funny feeling is in his chest again.

Suddenly, the movie has a jumpscare, and Y/N jolts up from his slumber, looking at the screen. He is still on his side, but now has his arms on Namjoon’s lap and is turned over. He stays like this for a moment before realizing that he is indeed on Namjoon’s lap. He turns to Namjoon and quickly sits up. 

“Ah, sorry haha. I can’t believe I fell asleep.” Namjoon swears he can see him blushing.

“No worries. You looked adorable. Uh, comfortable! You looked comfortable.” Namjoon catches himself, hoping Y/N won’t think anything of it. Y/N just smiles. They sit in silence, just looking at each other. Namjoon doesn’t know if it is him or Y/N or both of them, but they seem to be a lot closer now than their faces were five minutes ago. They draw closer to each other in what feels like slow motion. Heat rises up in Namjoon’s chest.

They are interrupted by the ring of the doorbell. They both blink, seemingly snapping out of whatever trance they were just in.

“I uh, I'll go get that.” Y/N hurriedly stands up to get the door. 

What was just about to happen?? Namjoon’s thoughts raced. His stomach felt like butterflies had invaded and his head was a balloon. Did he and Y/N just, almost kiss? Did he want them to kiss? He shook his head, trying to clear his head as Y/N walks over with a brown paper bag. 

“Food has arrived! Almost 20 minutes late, that is.” He sighs and places the food on the table. “We might finish the movie before we finish our food.” He laughs. They silently agree to act like the situation previously never happened and dig into the food. The night goes on and they start another movie, and eventually the other boys arrive and everyone re-unites to talk about their days.

“Yoongi almost fell in the water. He fell asleep with the pole and got a huge bite, it almost pulled him in!” Jin laughs, retelling the scene.

“It ended up taking my bait.” Yoongi smiles. They obviously had fun.

“Taehyung and Jungkook had an argument and almost got us all lost hiking.” Jimin tattles on the two youngest members.

“I don’t want to start the argument all over again, but I’m just saying, I knew where I was going!” Jungkook whined.

“Yeah, that’s why you had to keep asking where we were on the map.” Taehyung gives him a playful punch on the shoulder.

“We got out safely though. We saw a lot of deer and wildlife.” Hoseok chimes in. 

“We had a good time too! The museum was practically empty, so we had the whole place to ourselves.” Y/N explains their time at the museum. “It was really great!”

“Hey, let’s all do something tomorrow. It’s been forever since all 8 of us hung out.” Hoseok chimes in. “We could go to a club and get drinks.” 

“I hope you’re thinking about the evening then, not the day.” Yoongi laughs. “Let’s not be day drinkers and end up smashed again.”

“We could all go to karaoke and dinner, then go to the club. That way we have food in our stomachs first.” Taehyung suggests.

“Sure. I’m always down to see rapper Jin show us up.” Namjoon laughs, referencing the last time they did group karaoke. 

“Better watch out, i’ll be in the rapline soon enough!” Jin widens his eyes at Namjoon. They all laugh.

“Cool, we will meet at the arcade around 4 then?” Y/N asks. The other 7 members all agree. 

Namjoon yawns. 

“I’m gonna turn in guys, still tired from yesterday.” He glances at Y/N. “You were practically sleeping through the movie, so I suggest you go to bed too.” He laughs, then suddenly remembers the strange moment that happened earlier between him and Y/N. He thinks he remembers too because he sees him turn away.

“Haha, yeah, I'm pretty tired too. I had fun today, and I’m glad we all have this weekend off to spend together. Get some rest y'all.” 

“Get out of here with your english slang.” Jungkook jokes with Y/N and stands up too. He gets up and makes his way to his room. The other members each respectively say their goodnights and head to their own rooms as well.

Namjoon lies in bed for a while, unable to sleep. The day keeps on replaying in his head like clips from a movie. Seeing Y/N walk around the museum and how pretty he was, him staring out the window at the cafe and his face so close to Namjoon’s on the couch. Namjoon brings his hands to his face. 

What is happening to me?

Never before has he had these feelings for another man, let alone someone he has known for most of his life already.

Is it really okay to think about him like that? 

He shakes his head, catching himself. It’s not like he was doing anything wrong. To be fair, if anyone looked at Y/N and tried to say he wasn’t a cute boy, they'd be lying. It’s only natural. Plus, it’s not like anything actually happened between them today. Namjoon feels a twinge of guilt.

Why do I feel guilty for having these feelings? 

Namjoon rolls over, head full of thoughts. Eventually, he drifts off to sleep, thinking of rays of sunshine reflecting off silky hair and sparkling eyes.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

(Meanwhile, in Y/N's room...)

Y/N is lying down on his carpet floor when Jimin walks into his room and sits next to him.

“So, what’s up with you?” He pokes Y/N in the side. “You’re ‘tired,’ huh?”

Y/N frowns, not looking at Jimin yet. 

“Yes. I’m allowed to be tired.” He rolls over and pokes Jimin back. “Are you here to lecture me about something?”

Jimin sighs.

“Look, Y/N, we basically share one brain cell. I can tell when something is up with you. You always help me when I come to you. Now spill.”

Y/N groans and sits up reluctantly.

“Is Namjoon acting differently lately?” He poses the question that has been on his mind all day. “When we were hanging out he seemed off, lost in thought or something. I’m worried about what happened during that interview.”

Jimin tsks at Y/N.

“Of course, you aren’t worried about yourself, but someone else. Look, if you are that concerned, maybe you should go ask him. I’m sure he would appreciate it.” He pats Y/N’s knees. “He did seem off. I gotta admit, I’m a bit concerned too. I think it’s best you ask though, you’re good at these things.” Y/N nods, looking at the ground. Jimin tilts his head. “Aaaand you still have shit on your mind. What else is up?”

Y/N smiles. 

“You just can’t cut me a break, huh?”

“Absolutely not. Come on, lay it on me. I’m a secure secret keeper, I swear by our twinship.”

“More like we just happen to have the same birthday and year, not exactly twins.” Y/N laughs. “Plus, I'm older by like, 2 hours.”

“Ah, you're stalling! Hurry up and tell me what's wrong before I use twin telepathy on you.” They both laugh.

“I don’t know. It’s just…” Y/N looks at the wall for a moment, searching for the right words. “Hanging out with Namjoon today felt so different. I mean, we are around each other every day. We all are. But something changed.”

“Could it be you are finally realizing your super mega gay crush on him?” Jimin smirks.

“Whaaaaaaaat?” Y/N’s head snaps to meet Jimin’s with a taken aback look.

“Oh my fucking god Y/N, you have been crushing on him since we debuted, you CANNOT be this stupid.” He puts his hands on Y/N’s shoulders. “You wrote about him in all your letters home for crying out loud.”

Y/N blushes and stutters. 

“W-well, I wrote about all of you-”

“Yeah, but not like you wrote about Namjoon. And how about all the times you would fall after he did in practice so he didn’t feel bad? All the times you’d fix things right after he broke them so people don’t find out? Don’t act like you don’t!” Jimin is satisfied when Y/N cups his hands to his face.

“Oh god, was it always that obvious?” He says through his hands. 

“Not to Namjoon. The man has an IQ of 148 but is somehow thick as a brick.” He smiles at Y/N. “Honestly, I think he may not be as straight as you think he is.”

Y/N looks up, betraying his curious face.

“Huh? What makes you say that?”

“Well if you also weren’t so absolutely in your own head, you would notice how you make him smile so much. He thinks you are adorable.” Jimin teases Y/N, who blushes and hides into his hands again.

“You don’t know that, you are just making assumptions to tease me.”

“Somewhat, but I also believe that man is not straight.”

“Come ON, he is such a simp for Megan The Stallion.”

“Oh, so you’re promoting bi erasure now?” Jimin lightly punches Y/N in the side. “Plus, he basically worships Anderson Paak. And you have to admit, he treats you a bit differently. There could be something there, you never know.” 

“How would that even work? Two members of BTS getting together, the fans would lose their shit. Plus, I don’t think it's even allowed.”

“Who says? The company is literally ours. Plus, you wouldn't have to be public about it. Fans will make assumptions anyways. You yourself have seen the ao3 pages and wattpad fanfictions. At this point there is a fanfic for each and every one of us together.” He shudders as if recalling a memory. “I will never forget some of those… I should have left my curiosity to rot.”

Y/N laughs. 

“Holy fucking shit do they love putting you and JK in the omegaverse.”

“I still can’t believe Tae got us to read those. I have never been the same man since.” He laughs and then regains his train of thought. “Anyways my point is, don’t worry so much. Things will work out. Just keep being yourself and if something happens, great! If not, oh well. We will survive.” He opens his arms and beckons Y/N to hug him.

“Thanks Jimin. You always know how to help me organize my brain.”

“I know, I know, you can praise me later.” They hug for a second. “No matter what, we will always be a family. All eight of us.”

“I know. I’m so grateful.” 

“Even if one of us is fucking the leader.”

“Ugh, you perv!!” Y/N punches Jimin.

“Ouchh, don't take out your frustration on me, save that for Joon! Ack-” He is cut off when Y/N punches him again.

“And now you have overstayed your welcome. I don’t approve of perverts in my room, get out before I pepper spray you!” Y/N stands up and drags Jimin to his feet, pushing him to the door.

“Haha okay okay, i'll leave. You know you love me.” Jimin peeks his head from behind the door, trying to act cute.

“Less and less by the second. Now goodnight.” Y/N closes the door slowly, forcing Jimin to move his head.

“G’night hyung!!” He is heard jogging to his own room. 

“Night Jimin.” Y/N sighs and falls on his bed. He stares at the ceiling, thinking about the day and what to do next.

Nothing has changed, so I shouldn’t change. Just keep doing your thing.

Y/N reassures himself. He then thinks of Namjoon.

I should check on him tomorrow. I’ll keep an eye on him while we hang out, just to make sure he is all right.

He sighs and turns to his side. Eventually, he drifts to sleep.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Stay tuned, Jae loves you <3

[cebwrites]

heart-shaped ♡

a/n: inspired by this post and astronomically silly sdfhsjdgh

oc x canon, they/he law creampie, overstim, genital piercing word count: 1.2k

It started with an off-handed comment,

"Y'know, this is the fifth time you've left a heart on me this month."

Some silly remark between lazy post-sex kisses and Law chastising their partner for wiping their cum off by hand and proceeding to lick his fingers clean instead of using the wet towel they'd gone through the painstaking labor of getting up to fetch from the bathroom when they were comfy and cozy in the afterglow.

A remark that kept them awake long after Kirin had drifted off to slumber and Law was burdened with the accursed realization that they left heart-shaped cum shots.

At first Law tried to convince themself that was a venture stupid enough not worth a second thought, that their time would be much better suited doing good, important work like studying the local fungal ecosystem and their medicinal properties or whatever. Proper things the Good Doctor ought be doing.

But the thought continued to plague them, and eventually creeped into places it had no business being - during a crew meeting while Hake and Uni were discussing their inventory and budget cuts, but all their captain's dirty little mind could focus on was the image of a milky heart on his partner's back.

So be it, this was getting ridiculous and Law refused to allow such distractions interfere with their day to day any more.

The next time Hiraishin and Heart linked up, Law pulled Kirin to the side; initially confused by their proposition of an "experiment", then in stitches once he'd wrapped his head around the concept, and finally in full support of his partner's weird little trials.

Between reassuring sweet-talk and kisses to prevent Law from leaving in an embarrassed huff after Kirin's laughing fit, of course.

Tickled from the start with such a silly premise to begin with, Kirin was mildly surprised and very amused with just how serious Law was about their little pet project, going so far as to collect not an insignificant amount of data on their own for "control" samples. When pressed about the matter, they only doubled down on their point about the integrity of their research.

All while Kirin sat on their bed with one leg over the other, looking over the polaroids laid out beside him with what they could only think to describe as Cheshire delight. Law refused to look him in the eye for the slight concern at what they'd find.

Formalities and only slightly mortifying explanations out of the way, both captains dived into the research they were so enthusiastic about for bordering on entirely different reasons.

"Science" and pleasure.

Kirin was almost impressed with how willing Law was to force good eating habits onto themself and temporarily jimmy their sleep schedule into something resembling decency for the sake of "getting the best results" - although this wouldn't last as the first week bled into the next, both captains realizing that despite the gusto they went into this with, they would need to break things up a bit if they wanted to keep things legible on the actual "research" front.

Although any sort of physicality from Kirin was usually discouraged while Law was working, for the sake of this venture he was allowed to be as openly affectionate with them as he wanted provided they had enough privacy if things were to escalate.

In both captains' quarters between ships, against the mess on their desk and over the couch in Law's office, a local bathhouse cleared of it's patrons, even cut short once because they were suddenly embroiled in attack from marines; in every sense of the word the boys made do - and by god, do each other they did.

Granted that both crews were very used to their captains' sexcapades, after a certain point at least a few eyebrows started to raise. Some even considered gently floating the question if they were trying for a baby given the frequency and supposed schedule of their, uh, courtship, but on second thought decided that keeping their heads down would be the best course of action.

Reiji, the only one privy to the real reason behind all of this because he had the fortune of being Kirin's other partner, had to take a pause from helping Law spit-roast their lover so he could giggle at the obscenity of it all.

Their session was cut short that night so Law could recover from psychic damage.

---

"Just the once, please Law, I need- ah, I need it."

"Absolutely, fuck, not. I need every last drop, sweetheart."

Kirin all but wept into their collarbone in response to his pleas being denied, despite the sugar coated pet name, his hips taking in the cock glossy with lube and his desire at a dizzying pace—Law was beginning to regret allowing his partner on top with every sprinkle of stars clouding their vision following each heavy gyration.

Perhaps one of the few downsides of this whole foray was that, if it wasn't obvious from the start, that each consecutive cum shot made would have to be photographed and documented. Something that hadn't crossed Kirin's mind at the start, at least not entirely, and now it was slowly driving him mad not to be filled up like Law usually would.

"So close, can you be a good boy and hold out for me?"

Law reached between their bodies to tug at the piercing underneath engorged t-dick, the other hand kept a firm hold on the back of Kirin's neck—judging from the unfettered moan and squeezing around their cock, the other man wasn't far behind.

"I ca—I can't do it, Law. I want you so bad, I need you inside. Please don't pull out."

To hell with research.

A smattering of polaroids lay disorganized on Law's desk, many more in ziplock bags filed neatly away with details written on paper labels stuck on. The majority of them were going to be burned once these trials were over, painfully incriminating proof of his embarrassment, but a few of them Kirin convinced them to keep.

For what he deemed flattering angles of his lewd body alongside the almost decorative semen hearts if anything else.

Law rocked Kirin through his overstimulated, emotional orgasm, smoothing his hair down between the sobs and gentle whispered reminders to breathe darling, breathe, the force of their own climax pulled a throaty moan that Kirin devoured greedily with sloppy, open mouthed kisses.

He clung to his lover tight - unwilling to leave room for so much as a shred of paper between them, and when they'd both calmed down enough to make heads or tails of their surroundings again, Law had to laugh at the pout Kirin made when they finally did pull free, smearing streaks of white between his thighs for one or two more lazy thrusts.

Both captains were too worn out to move let alone clean up, a pain in the ass for later them to deal with, but for now they basked in the radiance of each other's presence, thoughts of experiments and control groups long forgotten.

Thus ending their near-month long "research" endeavor into Law's seemingly divine and certainly unintentional peculiar predilection for hearts in unconventional places.

All things considered though, not a bad way to spend November.

[stardustonstage515]

“How I’d Love To Be Your Hero”

It’s strange for me. I’ve never felt like this before; just so content. Lying in the bed of my pickup truck, looking up at the stars and at the tattoos on your skin, squatting away mosquitos and listening to the frogs croaking in the distance. The radio’s playing some indie alternative song I’ve never heard before but already like—I hope I remember the words later when I relive this moment with you again in my mind. 

You smile at me and I smile back. I can’t remember the last time I smiled, or the last time saw such an endearing smile aimed my way. I can’t remember the last time I saw so many freckles on somebody’s cheeks or even the last time I saw such a big, goofy, bucktoothed grin like the one on your face. You look like you’re keeping a secret and you want me to guess what it is. Well, just know, I’d gladly guess if that means you’d laugh at my feeble attempts to figure out whatever is going on inside your head. I’ve never known someone like you. You’re different from all the others. You’re special. You’re… 

You’re making me change the way I think about myself. It’s confusing and it’s sudden and it’s scary, but it’s worth it for nights like these, for nights spent lying beside you in the bed of my scratched-up green Chevy, in some secluded little clearing in the woods, away from prying eyes and unwanted judgements, with my letterman jacket thrown over you to keep you warm while you point out constellations in the sky and we laugh about how some Greek astronomer once thought they looked like heroes. But if you look a little harder, I guess you can see whatever you want. Like how I can look into your eyes and see galaxies. Or I can just gaze back at my own reflection. I could even see a future for us if I really try. 

You kiss me, and I think to myself, “God, how I’d love to be your hero.” I think about how I’d love to kiss you back, how I’d love to be in love with you, how I act so macho because I’m too much of a coward to tell you how I really feel.

You put your hand on my chest and I know you feel the exact same way. The only difference is that you’re not ashamed of that. You’re not second-guessing yourself. You’re not embarrassed about how you feel. You don’t cry from pent-up frustration at the unknown or scream at yourself in the mirror, trying to make yourself believe the lies you’ve been told since you were a child, since before it ever occurred to you to doubt them; before it ever occurred to you that you might not be society’s ideal. Oh, how I’d love to be like that. How I’d love to be like you. 

You don’t care what people think of you. You’re proud of who you are. You don’t even realize you’re being brave—you’re just being yourself. And I admire that, really I do, but it’s just one of the many things I admire about you. I adore you. And I don’t want to admit it, but you’re my hero.

You start to fall asleep with your head leaning on my shoulder. I wrap my arm around you and whisper quietly, “God, I love you.” And it’s true. I do love you. I love your vast taste in music and the way you can get me to sing along to any song with you unapologetically. I love the way your hair sweeps across your forehead and I love your dark sense of humor. I love hearing stories about your childhood in the city and I love how easily-impressed you are by my athletic skills. I’d love to make love to you. 

And though I myself am no hero or knight in shining armor or handsome prince from some faraway land, what I am is wholeheartedly in love with you and that terrifies me. But at least I have a hero. Maybe I need one more than I think. Maybe we all do. Maybe we all need someone by our sides, cheering us on; someone who gives us the inspiration to figure out who we want to be and the courage to become them. Maybe there’s a hero inside all of us, but we just need someone like you to remind of us of that. Maybe…

Well, maybe it doesn’t even matter. What matters is this moment, what matters is you. I shouldn’t overthink things. But we all have our issues, don’t we? You wish you had a hero, someone to have protected you back then, from the gangs and the drugs and the dangers of being out that you dealt with every day before you moved here, before I ever knew you. But then you wouldn’t have fled here. And I feel somewhat guilty, and yet somewhat thankful that it all worked out, because look at us now, under those same stars you used to wish on.

And I won’t let anyone else hurt you. I’ll do whatever heroic things you want me to. Or at least I’ll try. There are so many things I want to try now. I think I’ll try to be more open to myself, open to you. Open to these new feelings. I think I finally know why I’ve never felt like this before. But it’s still strange to admit it. I’m still too afraid to do that. But I feel much less afraid knowing I have you. You to lean on, you to hold, you to kiss, you to love. 

Written by me, October 25, 2021. From the perspective of a straight-passing, masculine jock.

[aceiined]

uh

sorry

just sorry

i hangout with you guys so i dont go coo coo crazy

i never ask for sleepovers cuz im scared

regarding evans post i also feel bad for staying the extra night

i just wanna spend the summer while i can

sorry if i talk about hyperfixations too much

im not depressed anymore because of smg4

my whole body is numb

thats why i sleep early

im not spending the summer anymore

i sleep to find myself in fictional worlds

fictional dreams

ones that will never make sense or come true.

i sleep to distance myself from reality

sorry if i converse too much

i like conversations

but when you reply with weak responses

i just dont feel fun anymore

i dont feel enjoyed about the topic i was rambling about that you said you also liked

sorry for asking for too much

i dont wanna spoil myself on other peoples parents

i know that top costed alot

my parents, atleast my mom scolded me for it

money is a problem and i try not to ask for much

yet you get me stuff i dont ask for

which makes you spend more

im grateful, but save it when i need stuff i ask for

im not going to college

i want to be an astronomer, even the chance of being a lawyer

but you also need money.

even scholarships,

im not smart, i cant focus.

sorry if i ask too much for you to make me bracelets or pins or anything simple

i want to have atleast one thing related to the hyperfixation

im sorry for embarrassing you in public

for being too clingy

for making people ask every second if we're dating

i need to feel comforted

sorry if i ignore you and jerk my hand away when i dont want touch

i go non verbal and really dont want it or really anything

sorry if im annoying and i ask too much questions or say to much

so you tell me to stop

i hate when people say stop

even if its polite

theres so much more i need to apologize for.

im so sorry.

[ellie-ramune]

There are no toddler characters in Genshin Impact. Just wanted to make this clear~

LMAO

I never said she was a toddler, I literally said like young person or some shit. The point of Nahida is that she is constantly growing and gaining confidence in herself, she is a child with plenty of wisdom and does silly things. I also like how you said “healthy straight ship” when scaramouche would literally be the worst partner ever, like please get real (defending a homophobe is not a cute look btw). Like it’s not my fault ur taste is so shit not even the artist wants to be associated with ur ass. I am a hater proshippers and antis, they are too restrictive and honestly dumb. I would delete my tumblr if I were you, the second hand embarrassment is astronomical. Bye~

[muncedes]

the second hand embarrassment is astronomical f1 you’re losing any credibility you had left

[enhas-bestie]

oh my god I just read part 1 of ur jake zoom smau and the second hand embarrassment is astronomical idk if I can physically convince myself to read the rest why do I want to bury myself six feet under why is y/n so stupid oh my god help 😭😭

I put "second-hand embarrassment" in the warnings for a reason lmfaooo y/n just be doing shit fr💀