#the second I feel I know marina enough to write her I will be writing them a fic

[sexynetra]

Can I interest you in some DameRina? 🙊

YOU SURE GODDAMN CAN AAAA

[hallietblr]

Omg! I love your writing! You write Conrad so perfectly. Can I please request one with Conrad Fisher where the reader and Conrad are best friends but everyone knows that they love each other because they’re always touchy and affectionate with each other. They even have cute nicknames for each other and everyone else just wants them to get together already. Your blog is amazing ❤️✨

orange bikini, the marina, and ray bands | c.fisher x reader

a/n: thank you so much for the request love! i had a lot of fun writing it, i hope you enjoy <3

warnings: fluff

—

summers were always unforgettable. maybe because you got to spend every moment of it with your best friends. as a local in cousins, you watched different families come and go every summer — only a few of them being regular summer visitors. for example, the fisher and conklin families.

susannah fisher was such a bright light to the lives of the locals, bringing charity events to cousins every summer along with invested a lot of money into the country club. as for her sons, they were just like her. both conrad and jeremiah were bundles of sunshine, like a warm hug, or maybe a refreshing glass of lemonade on a hot summers day.

i had immediately bonded with conrad when i first met him when i was eight and he was ten. we met at the beach and instantly clicked. i soon was introduced to his younger brother, jeremiah, and two family friends, belly and steven. although i spent just as much time with the rest of them as i did with conrad, somehow him and i were always the closest.

despite the small age gap between us, we were like two peas in a pod.

i always looked forward to june since it indicated the start of summer, when my best friends return back to their summer home. i do have close friends here at cousins who are also locals, but the conklin and fisher siblings bring a new sort of fun to my life.

now that i’m sixteen, i stand at the marina dock, working alongside my friend cam. we both got internships with the marine biology department for the summer. i was laughing as cameron shook his brunette curls dry from water from the dive we just came back from. the droplets of water landing on me and my orange bikini.

“cameron!” i squeal, pushing him away, “i swear to god i’ll throw you off this deck if you continue to shower me”

he laughs as he steals my beach towel to dry himself, “you know you love it.”

i roll my eyes before they land on a very familiar red jeep wrangler that parks by the dock. i lift my ray bands off the bridge of my nose and place them on top of my head, i squint harder to see if it was who i thought it was. as the driver door opens, my favourite 6’2 dirty blonde boy steps out — conrad fisher.

he sees me staring at him while standing in just my bikini before a large smile paints across his face. i don’t even notice jeremiah stepping out from the passenger seat as i start running sprinting towards conrad.

he meets me halfway, where the dock began. “oh my god!” i exclaim as i jump into his muscular football player arms. my arms wrap around his neck and legs around his waist as i hug him tightly. he smells like sea salt, coconut sunscreen, and a hint of weed.

conrad has his arms holding my torso as he spins us in circles, “hey beautiful, did you miss me?”

“more than anything” i tell him, lifting my head from the crook of his neck, “you know, nine months is too long to be away from you”

“you say that every year, sunshine” he chuckles, carefully placing me back onto my birkenstock covered feet. his green eyes flicker from my sunkissed face to my chest for a split second.

i feel myself blush at it. he’s grown up a lot since i last saw him in august. his shoulders are broader, his biceps are larger, and his hair is longer. i smile sweetly at him, “because it never changes.”

“alright that’s enough from you two lovebirds. you look great in orange, y/n!” jeremiah compliments me as he pulls me into a squeeze hug, “how are you?”

i hug him tightly, “i’m doing great! cameron and i have been busy since school ended with this marine biology internship — but we get to be by the ocean all day so i’m not complaining!”

jeremiah grind his infamous smile, “sounds like fun! you know, steven and i are working at the country club this summer. time to make some bank!”

i giggle before pulling the brothers into a group hug, “ugh, i’m so happy you guys are finally back! when are belly and steven coming?”

“tomorrow afternoon,” conrad says as we all pull apart. i motion them to follow me down to the dock,

“i want you guys to meet one of my best friends,” i explain as cameron looks up at us and offers a smile, “this is cam, well, cameron. he just moved here last september and we’ve been hanging out since. you know, he’s just as interested in marine biology as i am!”

little did i know, cameron having his arm hanging around my neck ignited a small spark in conrad’s stomach at the sight. conrad gives a weak smile, meanwhile jeremiah daps cam up,

“what’s good, cam cameron! i’m jeremiah” he laughs, “you know, you’re making my brother conrad jealous right now. you have your hands on his future wife”

cam’s eyes go huge, “oh shit! are you two dating? y/n, you never told me you have a boyfriend! that’s my bad, bro.” he quickly apologizes and removes his arm from my shoulders.

“fuck off, jere” conrad says to his younger brother.

i smack jeremiah’s shoulder playfully, “i do not have a boyfriend, i don’t know why jere is making up bull”

“you mind as well be married at this point, considering the amount of hours you two spend texting each other.” jeremiah shrugs as he picks up my colourful printed backpack, “let’s head back to our place, cam you can come too”

cam thanks jeremiah but turns down the offer due to being needed back at his home. the two exchange instagrams so they can make plans later in the summer. with that, cameron runs off to his bike and waves us all goodbye.

conrad and my eyes meet and i can’t help but feel my heart rate pick up at the eye contact. i know i’ve always thought conrad was cute and was more drawn to him, but this felt a lot more different compared to the previous summers together.

i called shotgun as we all raced back to the wrangler, jeremiah pouting as he sits in the back seats. i plug my phone in for aux and start playing my new summer playlist that i just started making.

what once was by hers starts playing loudly from the car stereo as the windows are down and rooftop of the jeep was removed. the sweet summer breeze flowing through the car and our hairs as we all sing our hearts out. conrad has a hand on my knee, massaging it with his thumb while he drives. i try to surprise the butterflies and the heat rising to my cheeks at his actions.

as he parks the car at the familiar white summer home, we all jump out as conrad exclaims to race to the kitchen. he claims that whoever is last is getting thrown into the pool first.

the two fisher boys had an unfair advantage because of their longer legs, thus being able to take longer strides. we make it into the kitchen where susannah stands, smiling her golden smile,

“y/n! sweetheart, look at you!” she coos, pulling me into a warm embrace. she smells like roses and fresh laundry as i hold her tightly, she whispers into my ear, “so when are you and connie making it official? i know how you two feel about each other and he speaks of you so often at home.”

i flush at her comment but smile on response, “it’s so good to see you, susannah.”

she caresses my cheek, “i swear, you get more and more gorgeous every time i see you. plus, that orange bikini top looks absolutely fabulous on you.”

“i look just the same as last summer,” i laugh, “and the summers before that.”

she rolls her eyes playfully, “oh sweetie, don’t brush off my compliments. i mean it, you are glowing! don’t you think, connie?” she asks, looking over at her older son who already has a slight blush across his cheeks.

he smiles, “yeah, yeah you do.”

jeremiah grabs my wrist and pulls me away from his mom, “stop trying to avoid you fate, y/n! time to get thrown into the pool!” he grins, tugging me towards the sliding glass doors.

i squeal as the two both have grips on my arms as i try my best to free myself, “oh, come on! at least let me take off my shorts and ray bands!”

they surprisingly allow me to do so, before conrad grabs my wrists and jeremiah grabs my ankles.

“1…” they count together, starting to swing me back and forth by the edge of the pool.

“2…” i squeeze my eyes shut, preparing myself for the cold pool water.

“3!”

i scream as i’m thrown into the air before splashing into the chlorine water. i swim to the surface of the water with a cheeky idea in mind, i grab a hold of my left ankle and distort my facial feature in discomfort,

“shit!” i cry out, taking a breath from being under water for a moment too long.

conrad immediately straightens up at the sight, “baby, what happened? are you okay?” he panics.

“y/n, are you good?” jeremiah asks, the two having obvious concern laced in their facial expressions.

i shake my head and fake a sob, “i think i sprained my ankle at the bottom of the pool.”

in seconds, conrad removes his burgundy tee shirt in one swift movement before diving into the water. his strong arms lifting me and bringing my legs to wrap around his waist, “fuck, i’m so sorry, pretty girl.” he breathes out, planting two kisses on my forehead, “let me see it.”

he swims us over to the edge of the pool where jeremiah once stood before he left to grab towels and an ice pack. conrad lifts me up effortlessly onto the pool side, beginning to inspect my left ankle,

“wait,” he pauses, noticing no swelling nor bruising.

i couldn’t hold in for much longer before i broke into laughter, “i’m sorry! you should’ve seen the look on your pretty face!”

his worry drops before splashing me with water, “you’re so lucky that i love you.”

i stop laughing and wipe my face dry from water before looking at him, “w- what?”

conrad’s eyes widen at the accidentally confession, “i mean… as a friend of course!”

my heart feels a slight tug at the correction but i smile weakly. why would he love me in the way that i feel towards him? i awkwardly laugh before kicking water back at him, and jumping back into the pool.

“ok good, i got worried for a second” i lie, swimming towards him. his hands subconsciously hold onto the curves of my hips, his green eyes looking deep into mine.

i known him for what feels like forever and i can read him like an open book, well typically. but right now, his expression is unreadable. i’m distracted by him, his hands on me, the explosion of butterflies in my gut, and my heart beating loudly in my ears.

his hand cups my cheek, both of our eyes fluttering close as he pulls me closer to his face. i can feel the slight minty feeling of his breath on my lips before,

“i got the ice!” jeremiah yells, with a loud slam of the glass door which caused conrad and i to jump away from each other.

we almost kissed.

i cant even look at my best friend right now, embarrassed with the bright pink colour of my cheeks as i swim over to jeremiah, “thanks” i say quietly, pretending to ice my ankle.

i watch conrad get out of the pool and dismiss himself to his room,

“did something happen?” jeremiah asks, completely lost and confused of the situation.

[lvis44]

Sweet Escape Pt. 8 // LH44

Lewis Hamilton x Y/N

Warnings: Swearing, 18+ (Smut and Dirty Talk), Alcohol, Angst, Emotional Dilemmas, PDA, Secrecy, Not Edited

Word Count: 8.5k+

Summary: Paradise is supposed to be fun and relaxing... a Sweet Escape, but when unspoken feelings and jealousy rise to the surface, everything can be turned upside down in the blink of an eye.

Notes: We have reached our final destination (well kind of, there will still be an epilogue). This is the final part of Sweet Escape. Thank you all so much for all the love, I'm so glad that you guys have enjoyed it as much as I have enjoyed writing it! I will be back soon with another little daydream. I love you all and enjoy the conclusion to our roller coaster.

I am not a professional writer and all of this is a work of fiction and is strictly for fun. Enjoy! xxx

Previous Sections: Prologue - Part One - Part Two - Part Three - Part Four - Part Five - Part Six - Part Seven

You can’t risk losing Lewis. 

As you step out of the shower you feel a surge of anxiety and power wash over you. How the hell are you supposed to talk to him? It doesn’t take long before you hear him coming down the hall, greeting Daniel on the way, evidently just back from his run. You decide to bite the bullet, there’s no point in wasting time. You hear his door close and immediately make your way out of your own. Your hair is still wet and your attire is mismatched, throwing short on the second you heard him in the hallway. You don’t particularly care if anyone hears you or sees you, you need to get this out before you continue to think about it and change your mind. You’ve gone back and forth over this enough times, you need to finally make your thoughts known. You knock on his door, hoping he can hear you. Thankfully it only takes a moment before his door swings open, he’s standing there covered in sweat, his breathing still slightly labored, just having got back from his run. 

“Y/N?” He seems slightly confused at your sudden intrusion, “Is everything okay?”

You don’t answer his question just pushing past his sticky body and into his bedroom, it’s been a while since you were last in here, today will be a much different outcome. You’re going to stand your ground. He doesn’t ask another question just accepting that you must need to talk, moving to push his door shut.

“Why did you take me to see Marina and Leon?” You blurt out the second his door is closed.

He hesitates for a moment, a question written across his face, “I don’t know, I thought it would be good for Leon to meet someone like you, and Marina had about a billion questions about you so, I don’t know, it just felt right.”

“Why have you told Marina about me?” You ask your next question, not really waiting to process what he’s saying.

“Because I care about you, I’m constantly thinking about you, and I like to tell her about important things in my life. You’re an important thing in my life.” He shrugs as if it shouldn’t even be a question.

“What about us has ever made you think that a relationship between the two of us would even ever work?” You ask him, feeling your heart clench at his words but needing to get all your questions out as quickly as possible.

“I kind of thought I made that clear,” He starts softly, unsure if you’ll really let him get all of his thoughts out, “but, I guess to try to explain it, it’s everything that you do, everything I feel when I’m around you. Charlotte yelled at me a few days ago, and rightfully so, about constantly acting like your boyfriend with none of the commitment or intimacy, that it’s not fair to either of us, not fair to you. Y/N, I am truly happy every second I spend with you, you’re an absolute breath of fresh air, a respite, the idea of coming home to someone like that warms my soul. I have spent so much time wandering around, looking for a place to land and looking in all of the wrong places, evidently. I don’t want to do that anymore, not when everything I’ve always wanted and needed is right in front of me. I’ve been single for a long time, but I know what this feels like, I’ve just never felt it like this before. We’re already halfway there, I don’t see why taking the next step would be bad for either of us.”

He’s just standing in the middle of his room, keeping a good distance from you, trying his best to bore his speech into your brain. It annoys you how good he can look even after a run. When most people would look like a drowned rat with the amount of sweat covering his body, he looks like he’s shining, the sweat somehow making every muscular dip and tattoo even more center stage than usual. You stare at him for a moment, letting his rant twist your heart in ways you didn’t know it could, swallowing down tears as you hear just how much the man in front of you truly cares. You hate that everything he has said is right.

“Thank you again for trusting me with meeting Leon, and Marina, I’m honored you let me into that part of your life.” You say, your voice thick with emotion.

You can see his face contort, confused at both your lack of proper response and your subject change, he imagines it’s because you’re trying to swerve away from the topic, but he just nods softly, “Of course, I trust with you with my life, with my heart, with everything. There’s no one I would rather he meet.”

“I don’t want to lose you Lewis.” You say firmly, “I can’t lose you, that’s why us trying this doesn’t make sense.” Your words are rushed and your brain is speeding a mile a minute, needing to get everything out into the air.

You can visibly see him deflate, his face faltering, an audible sigh coming from him.

“Y/N, sweetheart, I don’t know how many times I need to tell you this but you will never lose me, not in a million years. Sure things may change, but that’s the trajectory of life, regardless of what you and I do, things are destined to change, it’s evolution. Try thinking of it in the sense that you already have me, forever, for better or worse, but now I want to give you more of me, just you. We have each other now, but it could be so much more, and somehow I think even better. Tell me you don’t think about how nice it would be to fall asleep next to each other at night. When I hug you I can feel you melt into me, I fucking relish in it, that’s why I never pull away, that could be our normal, how we fall asleep, how we cuddle and watch some stupid fucking show. Think about how good we could make each other feel, emotionally, physically, fuck, on levels we don’t even know exist yet. I want this with you, I adore you and everything about you, there’s absolutely nothing in my mind that questions you and I being a good couple. We’ve already got the platonic relationship down, we know each other so fucking well, better than most people who have been married for twenty god damn years, we have a head start. Everyone always says that your partner should end up being your best friend, we already did that, so here I am, you best friend, telling you I want to be your partner, and fuck I hope you hear me.”

He lets out a deep sigh as he finishes his rant, you can tell he’s had that bottled within him for a while. You let him speak, not needing to hear it but wanting to, your mind is already made up, it doesn’t really matter what he says at this point. You’re quite amazed by the outpouring of emotions you’re receiving from him, not used to him letting himself truly be vulnerable. He looks tired and you can tell that if he were a normal man he would be close to giving up, but he’s not a normal man and ‘giving up’ is nowhere in his vocabulary. Lewis is competitive and strives to win, he doesn’t back down, especially when it’s truly important to him. That alone is part of the reason that you feel confident in your decision.

“So, if we’re going to do this, some things need to be made very clear.” You continue after his rant, not having the ability to even begin to process everything he just said. You need to charge ahead, his words only fueling your confidence in your decision.

You can tell he doesn’t quite believe the words that have just left your mouth but he does his best to restrain from making you repeat them. He stays silent, nodding obediently, but you can see the corner of his lips twitching, begging to break into the largest smile known to man.

“First, it’s only you and I in this relationship, your playboy fuckboy antics, they need to be thrown out the window immediately.” You begin the list that had played over and over in your head over the last few hours, “Second, there always needs to be communication, on both of our parts, no fucking games, no fucking secrets, honesty and communication.”

He’s nodding along eagerly, you almost worry that he’s not listening but you can’t stop yourself to reprimand him.

“Third,” You continue, “we take this slow. I am not and will never be one of your play things. You will respect me and my limits and we’re not rushing into anything, you need to prove yourself, I’m still a little bit upset with you. Fourth, jesus christ, for the love of god, please get tested, I don’t need every bitch from every corner of the universe inside of me. Got it?”

He giggles at your last demand but nods nonetheless.

“Done, done, done, and already done.” He agrees, no hesitation.

“Lewis, I need this to work, because I’m not sure I would be able to function without you at this point.” You sigh, letting your final thought out.

He nods once again, “Agreed,” He lets out a content sigh, “So is that you saying you’ll do this with me? You’ll be mine, all mine?” His voice is hesitant but eager as he asks the question, slowly making his way toward you.

“Only if you’ll be mine and only mine.” You say, your voice quieting down as he approaches you.

“In a heartbeat babe.” His voice is only above a whisper but his eyes are boring down into yours, making you anxious and giddy all at once.

“Okay, last demand, properly ask me out.” Your lips lose your internal battle as they spread across your face into a wide smirk, needing to make him work for it one last time. It’s cruel, really, with how much he has already put into winning you over, but you need him to do it. One last little bit of confidence that this is all real.

“Y/N Y/L/N, will you please be my girlfriend? All mine, forever?” His smile has now broken over his face, unable to contain it as he stands only a few inches from you. He laughs gently through his words, amused by your request but willing to do whatever you need to finally be his. He’s smiling in a way you don’t think you’ve ever seen before, it's a whole new level of boyish excitement that makes your heart swell.

“Lewis Hamilton, I would be absolutely honored.” Within seconds of the words leaving your lips he has wrapped you in a large bear hug, picking you up off the ground, making you squeal.

“Lewis,” You whine through laughter, “you’re so fucking sweaty, I just showered.”

“This is what you just signed up for baby girl.” He chuckles, pressing a kiss against your head. You're rather confident that your name has already been long forgotten, pet names now taking its place.

“Okay, I take it back, I regret my decision.” You laugh playfully, his beard tickling you as he continues his assault of kisses that have now made their way to your cheek.

“Nope, no take backs.” He giggles against your cheek, placing you back down on the floor.

When he finally releases his grip from you his hands quickly find your cheeks, cupping your smiling face in his large hands.

“So beautiful, and all mine.” He mutters as if to himself.

“All yours.” You whisper back, making his smile even bigger if possible.

“I know you said we have to take this slow,” He starts, making you raise an eyebrow at him, “but can I please kiss you?”

You don’t have it anywhere in you to say no, all you can do is bite your lip with a nod, eagerly awaiting his lips on yours. He stares at you for a moment, as if processing the permission you just granted him. You expected the kiss to be harsh, almost messy from his excitement, but it was far from it. He leans in to you slowly, almost cautiously before connecting his lips with yours. You both sigh the moment you’re finally in contact. His lips are so soft and his large hands cupped around your cheek make you feel small, all you can do is melt into him. You bring your arms up around his sticky neck, still sweatier than you would normally find yourself being okay with. He keeps the kiss gentle but moves one arm to snake around your waist, pulling you flush against him as if there’s no possibility you could ever be close enough. He doesn’t move to deepen the kiss, his tongue never appears, he barely even moves, just enjoying the fact that you’re finally connected, even in the most simple of ways. When he finally pulls away you find yourself wanting to chase his lips, not having had quite enough just yet. He notices the involuntary reaction, chuckling slightly as he rests his forehead on yours. You place your hands on his chest, enjoying the firmness under your palms, realizing that it’s all yours to enjoy now. You almost go to take back your statement about taking it slow but the last logical brain cell you have stops you.

“We have to figure out how to make this work Lewis.” You whisper, not wanting to disrupt the peace in between you two.

“We will, I would never forgive myself if I let you go.” He says, his voice just as quiet.

“Do we tell everyone?” You ask, not sure what to do next, especially when trapped in a house together.

“We can wait, or do whatever feels natural. As long as we know.” He eases your mind, letting you know there’s no pressure.

You nod, grateful you don’t feel the need to go announce it to the whole house.

“Now go take a shower so I can have a much less disgusting hug.” You laugh, pushing against his chest.

“You liked it.” He joins your laughter, slowly parting from you.

“Shower.” You repeat, pointing toward the door of the bathroom.

“You can always join.” He playfully winks.

“Slow, Lewis, we’re taking it slow.” You reprimand him, feeling yourself blush but still laughing.

“I’ll be quick, be ready with open arms.” He flashes you a smile, disappearing into the bathroom.

…

You’re in the kitchen, starting to prepare dinner when Lewis finally comes out of his room, freshly showered and looking so damn cuddly in a large t-shirt and a pair of sweatpants. It will forever bother you that even in his pajamas he manages to look better than the entire population. Everyone else is out on the patio, setting the table and making drinks.

“I thought I was getting a hug when I got out of the shower, maybe another kiss.” Lewis whispers to you, startling you when his voice comes from so close behind you.

He chuckles when he notices you jump, stepping away from you only slightly to take a spot next to you at the counter, grabbing a knife and cutting up some veggies. You can’t help but watch as his hand grips the stupid cucumber, something that should not affect you, yet it does.

You’re looking at the way the veins in his hands flex as he adjusts his grip as you mutter to him with a smirk, “Behave.”

“I don’t know, I feel like I was promised a reward that I didn’t get.” He says quietly, shrugging his shoulders. He’s standing close enough to you that you can feel the movement.

“I think you got plenty of a reward for one day. I mean hey, you got me.” You taunt him, your voice staying just as low.

“Oh, how right you are.” He sighs, leaning in to press a quick kiss to your temple before moving past you to the fridge.

“Look who finally showed up to help.” Charlotte’s voice comes through the kitchen as she walks in the back doors.

“Did you want my sweaty ass making your dinner?” Lewis shoots back at her.

Her face scrunches up at the thought.

“Didn’t think so.” He says, his attention already turned back to the fridge in hunt of something.

You can’t help but giggle, feeling as though you are truly on cloud nine. Nothing could have prepared you for the absolute ecstasy that would be coursing through your body after making that man yours, or really you should say allowing yourself to be his, he truly did all the heavy lifting.

“What’s so funny? You know how nasty he is after a run.” Charlotte shoots you a look, almost asking you to back her up.

You just laugh, thinking about the fact that you were wrapped around his sweaty body only twenty minutes ago.

“Whatever, I’m gonna go see if I can find a board game or something for later.” Charlotte announces, heading off toward the other side of a house where you know there is a still unused game room. You’d seen it for only a few minutes, Miles and Lewis having spent a few hours playing on the various arcade games, their inner child truly coming out.

Lewis was now walking back over to you, his hands full of various ingredients he had gathered. You went to attempt to take some of them but he just tutted, swatting your hand away.

“I got this, you just sit over there and look pretty, keep me entertained.” He nodded his head over toward the kitchen island, a smirk on his face.

“I hope you know, my way of keeping you entertained will most likely be me making fun of your culinary skills.” You tell him, not arguing with him doing all the work, as you happily perch yourself on one of the stools. You can’t help but enjoy the view. He takes his cutting board off the counter and moves it to the island, making sure he’s facing you so he can glance at you every once in a while.

“Whatever makes you happy, love.” He chuckles, not looking up at you as he gets to chopping.

Your stomach flips at the pet name, he’s called you love before but to your knowledge it always just been in a polite british way. Now it feels different, you want to  assume it’s because he’s all the sudden your boyfriend, but in reality you know it’s because of just how much you care for the man standing in front of you. You sit in silence for a few moments, just admiring how beautiful he is, truly looking like a god while he does the most mundane tasks. You know you’re done for.

“You’re pretty quiet over there, where the critique?” Lewis teases you, noting your silence.

“Well, first of all I’m just admiring my view,” You admit, “Second of all, you unfortunately seem to be a half decent cook.”

“Babe, I don’t know if my ego can take all this flattery.” He laughs.

“Don’t get used to it, I’m simply in a strangely good mood.” You shrug, laughing yourself.

“I would hope you’d be in a good mood, big shit happened today.” He looks at you with a soft playful smile. You can tell he’s being sincere under his teasing tone.

Before you can respond your friends are making their way into the kitchen, offering to help with dinner before being shooed away by Lewis who is seemingly on his own mission. You can’t help but laugh, noting that he gives Charlotte a run for her money when it comes to being in control of the kitchen. You can’t help but be a tad bit annoyed at the intrusion, not that anyone even knows they were interrupting anything, and in reality, they weren’t. You were just enjoying your one on one time being playful with Lewis in your newfound status after having been at odds with him for so long. Much to your dismay, Lewis paid much less attention to you while your friends were around. You understood it, he was keeping things normal between the two of you, at least outwardly, he was respecting your anxiety of everyone finding out that something had changed between you.

The evening carried on happily and calmly. You discovered that when left on his own in the kitchen, Lewis was actually quite a good cook, you would have to make him cook for you another time, just you. Charlotte had found Monopoly somewhere in the house, which you promptly lost at, Lewis then insisting that you team up. No one batted an eye at it other than Charlotte, she had shot you a questioning look, wordlessly asking if the two of you were okay. You had only nodded, a soft smile on your face. She had seemed content enough with that, letting you be for the rest of the evening. By the time that you were headed to bed you were full of a joy you hadn’t felt in years, maybe ever. Lewis had very discreetly managed to give you a kiss on the cheek and a small hug before you headed to bed, whispering something about caching in on your promise from earlier. As you fell asleep you couldn’t help but feel like all of your stars had finally aligned in the most perfect way, even if you had no idea what was in store for your future.

…

Your final days of vacation were here, a few days prior you would have wished they would come and go as quick as possible but now, waking up in this new chapter of your life, you wished you could bottle the next few days and never let them go. The morning was lazy, lying in the sun after breakfast before deciding to head down to the beach to do the exact same thing, only with even more gorgeous views. From where you were seated, you already had the best view you could possibly ask for. Lewis was off in the side yard, fully immersed in a full body workout. You were admiring him from a distance, pretending to read your book, but your eyes kept wandering over to his glistening back and bulging biceps as he did effortless push-ups, it would have been criminal not to watch. You knew that he knew you were watching him, he had readjusted specifically to give you a better view, the cocky bastard. When everyone had gone inside to get ready, you stayed back, wanting even just a second alone with him. The second everyone was indoors you made your way over to him, sitting criss crossed on the ground in front of where he was doing sit ups now. One rep he sat up and gave you a wide smile before disappearing again, making you giggle, next rep his eyes flicked over to the door, third rep he came up and grabbed your cheeks, relaxing his form as he pulled your face to his, hesitating for only a moment before firmly planting his lips on yours. Once again he kept it pg but it still felt like heaven on earth. You giggled as you pulled away, feeling like a teenager who had just had her first kiss, you couldn’t help but feel that this is how it would always be with Lewis.

“So what did I hear? Are we headed down to the beach?” He asked, keeping his face rather close to yours, closer than it should be for a friend.

“Yeah, I was just coming over to tell you.” You say, blatantly lying as to why you had approached him.

“Mmmhmmm…” He smirked, catching your lie in an instant.

“Okay, maybe not.” You admitted, leaning in to peck his lips once more. He didn’t let that happen though as he made sure you stayed in place much longer than you had intended, not that you minded in the least bit. 

“I should go shower then.” He mumbled as he finally pulled away, moving to stand

“There’s no point, just go jump in the ocean.” You said, making him stay seated in front of you.

“I’m beginning to think that you like me when I’m sweaty,” He smirked before leaning in to place a kiss to your jaw, “and I have to say, I can think of a few ways you could help me work up a sweat.”

You felt your cheeks heat up in an instant, trying to push away the mental images of him above you, his chest glistening. You knew he could tell just how he had affected you when you saw the look on his face when he pulled away.

“Well, I guess I’ll just go put on some trunks then.” He said with a wink as he finally got up to his feet, you not having any ability to stop him right now.

Looking up at him from your spot on the ground as he stood above you had a whole new slew of thoughts rushing through your head. You were a horny mess. The smirk on his face was all knowing and you wanted desperately to wipe it off his face, but there was no use, he was dead on.

You made sure to stay behind and wait for Lewis, who had ended up insisting on showering, as everyone else made their way down to the beach. You were at the kitchen island, scrolling through your phone, when he finally came out. You were wearing one of your bikinis, one you had worn already on the trip, back when he and Miles had tried to teach you to surf. His hands were on your waist before you even knew he was in the room. 

“Waiting for me, beautiful?” His head was nuzzled into your neck, not trying anything, just enjoying the closeness.

You lightly pushed him away, spinning on the stool to face him. On instinct you widened your legs, allowing him to step between them so he could be closer to you, bad idea. Your breath hitched when you realized what you had just done, feeling him just brush up against you. You could tell that he wasn’t trying to grind against you or anything, it was just a casualty of trying to get closer to you, but that didn’t make it affect you any less.

“Um, yeah, wanted to walk down with you.” You half mumble, your brain jumbled.

He smiled softly, “Everyone gone?”

All you could do was nod.

“Good.” He let out a heavy breath, pulling your cheeks to press your lips together.

He was slightly more explorative this time and you didn’t mind in the slightest. The kiss was nothing like the first time he had kissed you, messy and open mouthed, but he slightly toyed with your bottom lip, running his tongue along it gently. You ever so slightly opened your mouth, allowing him the small bit of access he so desperately wanted. Nothing but the tips of your tongues met, ever so slightly dancing across each other as you both tested the waters. When he finally pulled away he made sure to leave multiple pecks to your lips, leaving you happily satisfied yet still wanting more. You weren’t quite sure anything would ever be enough with Lewis.

He stepped away, trying to discreetly adjust himself, making you laugh. He sent you a look before righting himself as if nothing had happened. He extended his hand to you, pulling you off the barstool as he intertwined his fingers with yours. Walking hand in hand with him, slightly leaning your weight against him, felt like the most natural thing in the world. You couldn’t help but admire him, almost tripping a few times on your way down the path, making him chuckle. With a towel slung over one shoulder, his swim trunks low on his hips, and a dark pair of sunglasses perched on his nose, he looked perfect, absolutely effortless.

You had parted ways once you got to your friends, still trying your very best to stay discreet. That lasted only about a half hour, the second Lewis had decided he wanted to get in the water he was dragging you along with him. Very much like the last time, he was throwing you into the water almost immediately. His smile was wide as he watched you curse him out. As if he had forgotten that your friends were back on the beach, he grabbed you and pulled you towards where he was floating in the water. You could touch the bottom but only on your tiptoes and you could tell that he had opted to tread water, always staying active. He wrapped your legs around his hips, keeping you afloat with him.

“Well hello there.” You laughed at his sudden move.

“Hello.” He chuckled, nuzzling into your neck.

“Lew, what are you doing?” You asked semi cautiously, enjoying him but knowing that if anyone decided to sit up from their towel they would immediately see you being evidently more than friends.

“Enjoying being in the Caribbean Sea with my girl. I’m finally really enjoying vacation.” His words were slightly muffled as his lips moved against your neck.

“Babe, everyone can see us right now.” You whispered, feeling like you were trying to keep a secret even from the fish in the ocean.

He let out a content humm at the use of your pet name, placing a kiss to your throat, “We said whatever feels natural right? This feels natural. Fuck them, let’s just enjoy this.”

He pulled away, his arm readjusting its grip around your waist. You could feel the strength in his muscles and it made your stomach clench, thinking about him holding you in so many other ways. You just stared at him for a moment, contemplating everything.

“Do you want me to stop?” He asked sincerely, noticing the torn look on your face.

You thought about it for only a moment longer, deciding being in his arms was much too good to waste in order to keep a secret, “Nope, you’re right, fuck ‘em.”

His smile was wide as you let yourself truly wrap your arms around his neck, leaning in to place a kiss against his smile. He could barely kiss you back, too happy to use his mouth for anything but the biggest grin you could imagine.

“I’m really happy.” You whispered to him, only a few centimeters from his lips.

“I am too baby, I am too.” He shook his head almost in disbelief.

You have no idea how long the two of you spent bobbing around in the water, but it was long enough that your friends had either gotten sick of the sun or sick of the PDA, possibly both.

“Hey,” Miles yelled, “we’re headed to the house, you guys coming or are you gonna keep fucking eachother in the ocean?”

You laughed, hiding your face in Lewis’ shoulder as he flipped Miles off. You were rather surprised at how casual Miles seemed about it, maybe he was expecting it, maybe he had known how Lewis felt longer than you had, regardless you were grateful that it didn’t seem like a big deal.

“Be up soon.” Lewis yelled back, Miles returning his one finger salute.

You stayed wrapped around each other only a little while longer as you enjoyed the serenity of being with your person in the most beautiful of places. No talking was needed as you basked in the sound of nature and peace surrounding you. Your heart felt whole, in a way it hadn’t in quite some time. You were shocked at how quickly you had fallen into a new cycle with Lewis, but you didn’t mind one bit.

. . . 

“I swear to god if I have to hear you two fuck, I might lose my shit.” Miles said, his face showing nothing but seriousness as you and Lewis both burst out laughing.

After you had made your way back to the house, Lewis had thrown caution to the wind, promptly pulling you down into his lap as you came out onto the patio after changing. You hadn’t fought him on it, equally as content as he was and fully aware everyone had already seen you in the water. The only problem was now they were close enough to tease you. The second Charlotte saw him do it she squealed.

“Ah please tell me my two favorite people have finally realized that they need to get married and have kids?” She had clapped, her voice shrill with excitement.

“Woah, slow down there Char’, she became my girlfriend yesterday, give us a damn minute.” Lewis had chuckled, seemingly somewhat prepared for Charlotte's antics.

“Hey now, two favorite people?” Miles had complained, giving Charlotte a playfully offended look.

“Okay sorry, two of my favorite people.” She corrected herself, rolling her eyes.

“I’m just worried I’m never gonna see you two again, gonna be far too obsessed with each other to ever see the light of day again. Also hold up, girlfriend?” Miles had carried on.

“You speaking from experience?” Steph teased him, “Is Lewis that good?”

“Oh fuck off,” He didn’t even look at her, opting to flip her off instead, “but seriously, girlfriend?” He looked at you.

You just nodded, shyly, “He wore me down, he can be quite persuasive.”

“I’m just shocked because the last time I saw you two really interact, I’m pretty sure you wanted to either cut his dick off or punch him in the face.” Miles laughs.

“Oh I did, but we talked… a lot.” You laugh, not wanting to really go into much detail.

Somehow Lewis manages to get the conversation away from your relationship status and you silently thank him, not in the mood for some big hoopla and discussion about your feelings. As everyone chatters on around you the evening quickly turns to night and people begin to bid their goodnights. With only a few people left on the patio, you do the same, whispering to Lewis before announcing it to the group. When you get to your room, you realize that you quite wish you had given him a kiss before you left, too shy to do it infront of everyone just yet. You sit on your bed in your pajamas, waiting to hear him head to his room. Finally you hear his voice in the hall, making you move to try to sneakily follow him to his room. You don’t hear anyone else in the hall so you make a run for it. You feel like a boarding school student breaking curfew with the way that you run on your tiptoes over to his doorway, knocking ever so softly.

“Yeah?” His voice is louder than you would have liked.

Instead of waiting for further permission, you gently ease his door open, slipping in quickly and softly shutting it behind you. He’s in the middle of taking off the sweatshirt he had put on earlier in the night, his t-shirt riding up as he does so, putting his abs wonderfully on display.

“Hello you.” He smirks when he finally sees you.

“Sorry.” You mumble, suddenly embarrassed that you just snuck into his room for a silly goodnight kiss after only dating the man for a day.

For some reason your brain is on a different level than your relationship technically is, you feel like you’ve been together for months, years even. It’s exactly what he was talking about, he’s been acting as your boyfriend for some time but now you finally have the intimacy you had secretly dreamed of.

“Don’t be sorry,” He smiles, approaching you to place his hands on your hips, “I too was thinking I needed to come steal a kiss before bed.” He puts your mind at ease, pressing his lips to yours softly.

You find yourself deepening the kiss, his soft manner not being enough for you. You wrap your arms around his neck, pressing yourself against his firm torso. He’s more than welcoming, wrapping his arms around you tightly, pulling you against him even harder than before. You take the lead this time, licking against his mouth. It takes him barely a second to respond, letting your tongue explore his mouth, his moving in sync against yours. When he groans into the kiss you can’t help but try to pull him even closer to you. He leans you against the door you had just snuck in through, his hands gravitating down towards your ass. You don’t stop him, nothing could possibly make you stop him in that moment. His large hands rest carefully atop your ass, not wanting to cross anymore of a boundary than he already is. You try to give him more permission, pressing your hips against his as you do your very best not to break from his lips that are growing hungrier by the second. The heat of his body and the lack of oxygen from the kiss are making you lightheaded, you need him, so much more than you could have ever imagined. You throw your demands out the window, fuck taking it slow, you needed to take him now.

He feels you press your hips against him, taking the hint and finally properly grabbing your ass, greedy handfuls in his large palms. He groans again and the sound goes straight to your core. You bring one of your legs up around his waist, hoping he gets the hint fully, and does he ever. Within moments he’s moving his hands to your thighs, beckoning for you to jump up so your legs are wrapped firmly around his waist. Finally he properly presses himself against you, his lips moving down to your jaw and trailing down your neck. It feels just as good as it did the first time you felt him do just this, but this time it’s even better, because you know you won’t be stopping him this time. He nibbles ever so slightly making you whimper. It’s the first proper sound he’s gotten out of you and he is immediately on a mission for more.

“Fuck, baby, do you want this? Are you sure?” He is so out of breath as he asks the question but his voice is serious, he’s not fucking it up again.

“Yes Lew, so much, I need you, please.” You rush out, your voice already an embarrassing whine. If you weren’t so needy in that moment, you might find it in you to care, but all you care about is getting him exactly how you want him.

The second he hears your words he’s latching his lips back onto your throat and carrying you over to his bed. The grace with which he puts you down surprises you, you half expected to be thrown like a ball. His hands move under your pajama shirt, immediately finding your breast completely bare. His thumb brushes over your sensitive nipple, making you gasp. His lips find yours once again, his hands roaming every inch of your body they can reach, yours doing the same to him. You fumble to try and take his shirt off, making him chuckle as he pulls away to do it for you, him swiftly ridding you of your shirt as well. He pauses for a moment, his eyes locked to your chest and the hungry stare makes you want to cover up. As if he can tell he leans down, placing his lips across every inch of bare skin he can before latching his lips around one of your nipples. You can’t help but arch into him, feeling his smile against your chest as you do so. You let your hands wander the smooth skin of his back, feeling how his muscles flex as he adjusts himself to kiss a trail down your torso. When he reaches your waistband his eyes flick up to yours, silently asking if he can carry on.

“Please.” You sigh out, needing some sort of relief from how ridiculously worked up you are in that moment.

That's all he needs to hear before he’s pulling down your sleep shorts and your undies in one swift motion. Once you're bare, his eyes lock onto your heat, in a much similar way to how they did your chest earlier.

“So fucking perfect.” He says under his breath, his thumb moving to ever so slightly brush against your hip, making you squirm.

Finally his thumb makes its way to the bundle of nerves that are throbbing with desperation. His touch is so light you can barely feel it but it makes your hips buck up towards him. He takes that as a good sign, applying more pressure as he finally starts to move in tantalizing circles, the rest of his hand resting on your pubis.

“So wet, so ready, my god,” He mumbles as if to himself before speaking up, his voice raspy with lust, “Can I taste you baby? Been dying to for so long.”

“Oh my god, please.” You feel like you could cry from just how turned on you are.

The first flick of his tongue is teasing, nothing even close to what you’re in the mood for, you buck your hips up towards him, hoping he takes the hint. He immediately dives in, no room for teasing and taunting left. His head between your thighs is something you never anticipated witnessing, but now its all you ever want to see. He wastes no time in latching his mouth onto your sensitive nerves, making you cry out. His tongue laps in the most perfect rhythm that your positive nothing will ever be as satisfying again. His tongue travels everywhere and anywhere, searching for your most sensitive spots. He makes his journey further down, the strong muscle of his tongue teasing at your entrance, you gasp as you feel him push just the tip in, his nose coming down to meet your clit. He quickly begins fucking you with his tongue as he gently moves his head, creating just enough friction with the tip of his nose to have you a whimpering mess. You feel yourself starting to tense up, never having come so quick with any of your partners. He can feel it too. He quickly replaces his tongue with two thick fingers, his mouth coming up to suck your clit directly into his mouth.

“There ya’ go, give it to me pretty girl, let me see how good you look when you come. You taste so fucking good, never gonna get enough.” You look down to see his eyes locked directly on yours. You can see his bicep flexing with the movements he’s making inside of you and that combination has you coming undone, harder than you ever have before. All you can do is moan his name, you have no idea how loud you’re being but you truly couldn’t care less, the way he’s making you feel is second to none. You can feel his smirk as he works you down from your orgasm slowly, making sure you feel every ounce of it.

Before he’s even able to make his way all the way up your body, you’re reaching for the button of his pants. You need to feel him, and you need to feel him now.

“All in good time sweetheart.” He giggles, placing a soft kiss to your lips.

You can feel the dampness in his beard, his lips slick. He steps away from you, making you whine.

“So needy, give me a second and I’ll give you everything you need.” He teases you as he walks over to his bag. He grabs a condom and you can’t help but be grateful he at least has half a mind right now, you were ready to take him raw if it meant you could have him.

He finally lets you undo his pants, pushing them down along with his briefs. What you’re met with has your eyes going wide. He’s much larger than you could have even imagined. The thick vein running up his shaft looks lickable and you almost do exactly that before he’s laying you back once more, rolling the condom on.

“I’ll go slow, I promise.” He whispers reassuringly, evidently having caught your initial reaction.

When you feel the blunt tip press against you, you begin to rethink everything, there is absolutely no way you’ll be able to take him. He begins to ease into you slowly and it's the most indescribable feeling. You feel like you’re being split in two and put back together all at once. He somehow feels like an intrusion and your missing piece.

“Lew” You whimper out, clinging to him for dear life.

“Almost there baby, almost there,” His voice is soothing in your ear but you can hear the tension as he feels you for the first time, “you’re doing so good, so proud of you.”

The second he bottoms out, it's as if time has stopped. The two of you both let out deep groans, reveling in the feeling of finally being fully connected. Slowly the burning stretch turns into indescribable satisfaction. It feels like he was meant to be inside of you, the missing piece to the puzzle of your body. He stays still, letting you adjust to him as he peppers you with kisses. You can feel the tension in his shoulders, desperate to move, chase the high you’re both so desperate for. You don’t know how you find it in you but you wrap your legs around his hips, pulling him closer and hoping he takes the hint that you need him to move just as much as he needs it. Slowly he pulls out of you, only half way, before burying himself in you again. He hits the perfect spot, making your toes clench with only one thrust. The groan he lets out is pornagraphic and you fight to make yourself look at him. The sight above you is what dreams are made of as he slowly starts to build a pace, testing the waters with what you like, evidently aiming to make sure you’re feeling just as good as he is. His lips are parted as if they’re ready to let out a moan at any given moment, his brow is furrowed in pleasure and concentration, his lust filled eyes boring down into yours.

“Fuck baby, you feel unreal.” He half groans, dropping his head into the crook of your neck, tracing his lips over the sensitive skin.

“Fuck, Lew, more please.” You run your nails gently down his back, making him shiver.

“You want more?” His voice is taunting, challenging.

“Fuuuuck.” You draw out as his hips pick up their pace.

He brings one of his arms to rest on the headboard as he leverages himself to put more power behind his thrusts. All words have left your mind, your mouth open in a constant gasp, no sound capable of escaping you any longer. He takes one of your legs, resting it over his shoulder as he pushes himself down on to you, his body weight suffocating in the best way. Somehow he’s even deeper this way and it makes you whimper, the tension mounting in your belly. You can tell you're almost there. His grunts and groans have quickly become your new favorite soundtrack as they edge you closer and closer to your release. His hips have picked up their pace even more and you can feel yourself teetering on the edge. When his hand slips down to toy with your clit you find yourself letting out a moan much louder than you should have. He brings his lips to yours, attempting to quiet you. This kiss is useless, just two open mouths, sharing each others sounds of pleasure.

“Fuck I love you.” He breathes out, you can tell he didn’t mean to say it but the second you hear it you need to hear it a million more times. Your stomach tightening at the phrase falling from his lips

“Say it again.” You just about whine.

He hesitates for a moment, his hips faltering before finding his pace again, “I love you.” This time with much more conviction.

“Again.” You moan, so close to your high.

“Fuck Y/N, I love you, I love you, so fucking much.” He rambles, connecting your lips when he feels you reach your peak.

You’re not prepared, it crashes over you like a tsunami, you tighten around him so hard he struggles to move, to fuck you through it. You’re beyond grateful that he’s as determined as he is because he keeps you at your peak longer than you even knew possible, your vision blurring and your ears ringing. You feel him tense, uncoordinated thrusts as he finally spills into the condom. His breathing is hard as he collapses against you like the best weighted blanket imaginable. He’s pressing soft kisses to your throat as you do your best to come back to earth. You can feel him slowly softening inside of you and it just feels right, the two of you being connected.

"So much for taking it slow, hmm?" His voice is tired but teasing.

"Oh fuck off." Is the first thing you say to him as you come back into yourself, making him chuckle

It takes him a few moments before he disconnects from you, much to your dismay, wincing as he pulls out.

“M’sorry, one second.” He says softly, pecking your lips before moving to discard the condom and get you a rag.

He cleans you with such care, so gentle, you feel your heart lurch. It’s rare that you’ve been with a guy who takes such care afterwards. When he’s finally done he joins you back in bed, moving you both under the covers.

“No arguments, you’re staying right here.” He mumbles before you can object and try to go back to your own room, which you assume will no longer be needed.

“Hey Lewis?” You prompt hesitantly as he pulls you against his chest, hiking your leg up over his hips.

“I meant it, have for so long it hurts.” He answers you without you even having to ask, knowing what you’re questioning.

You lift your head to meet his, looking at him through the pale moonlight flooding the room.

“I love you too.” You whisper before leaning it to meet his lips.

"Say it again." He mumbles against your lips, a smile spreading across both of your faces as he mimics your words from earlier.

"I love you so fucking much Lewis Hamilton." You giggle as he pulls you impossibly close to him, latching his lips on to yours.

You don’t know how long you stay there kissing him but you’re not sure you disconnected before you fell asleep. All you know is that as you lay there, enjoying his affection, you knew you had made the right decision. You will never lose Lewis and now you have the rest of your life to enjoy a whole new journey with him.

[bridgerton-bard]

Initial Thoughts on Philoise & To Sir Phillip, With Love

My initial thoughts on Philoise as a couple after listening to the audiobook. Spoilers for To Sir Phillip, With Love and all previous Bridgerton books below the fold.

I'll just start out with what I think is going to be the biggest hot take I have about Philoise, which is that I don't understand why Eloise and Phillip's love story gets as much hate as it does. I acknowledge that Phillip is not perfect, but Anthony, Benedict, Colin, and Simon aren't anywhere near perfect either.

I thought it was refreshing that Philoise's story explores a different narrative arc than all of the previous Bridgerton stories. In each of the previous books, the formula is generally Capital-R-Rake falls for Damsel-in-Distress, and his love for her (and the agency he is able to provide her as a woman married to a wealthy, powerful man) solves her problem. Yes, Colin and Kate's characters deviate from this trope slightly, but generally the arc is the same. None of the male protagonists in any of the previous 4 books had much serious interest in marrying until they met their future wife.

I thought it was interesting for Philoise's story to explore the opposite trope with Phillip in search of a wife and Eloise who had always imagined staying single. Phillip is a man who is as far from the definition of rake as possible. Eloise is a woman who is very adept at solving her own problems even within the gender dynamics of the time. I thought it was refreshing that at the beginning of the book, Phillip is already seriously looking for a wife. Of course, just like Anthony early in TVWLM, Phillip is initially looking for a marriage of convenience. However, just like Anthony's story, we see Phillip realize he has the option to have much more than a marriage of convenience.

I saw some spoilers here before I read the book and they insinuated that Phillip manipulated/duped Eloise into becoming his wife in some way . . . and that's just . . . not the case? Their wedding was rushed due to Eloise and Phillip living together unchaperoned for a week, but that wasn't Phillip's manipulation. Eloise showed up unannounced even though she knew that she should send word ahead. Phillip offered to get a chaperone if she let him know ahead of time. Also, they discussed having his aunt join them just before the Bridgerton boyband showed up, suggesting that Eloise was already pretty serious about staying and marrying Phillip. Additionally, Anthony did give Eloise the opportunity to give a good reason as to why she shouldn't marry Phillip. Knowing Anthony, if she had said that he'd acted in a way considered unmarriageable, he would have found a way to prevent Eloise from marrying Phillip.

Another underlying implication of the spoilers I saw was that Phillip was only looking for someone to basically be a governess when he started sending letters to Eloise, but I think that's a broad generalization for two reasons. First, Phillip was still grieving Marina when he started writing Eloise with the intention of considering her for marriage. I think it's one of the strongest aspects of Phillip's character that he had so much empathy and care for Marina, even though the book canon shows very clearly that she had only negative feelings for him. He lived with her for eight years as she hated him and mourned that she was married to Phillip and not his brother. Yet, he felt entirely responsible for the fact that he couldn't make Marina happy enough, at least not to kill herself.

The second reason I think this is a broad generalization, is that it's clear through Phillip's point of view in the books that although he initially considered Eloise for a marriage of convenience, he came to have a fondness for her before he knew how beautiful she was. In one of the early chapters, Phillip is shown feeling put on the spot because Eloise is so witty and usually he had time to think of the best responses to her witticisms as he was drafting his letter. Now, he wants to come off as quick and witty as he did via letter, but he's not sure he's meeting that standard. If Phillip was just looking for a marriage of convenience, he never would have put that much effort into the letters or felt so put on the spot when he met Eloise in person.

This is just my $0.02 on Philoise. If anyone out there wants to send me their thoughts as to why they don't like Philoise, I'd be interested to hear. My reblogs (and ask box) are open.

[xmorguekittyx]

Ever Locked

Part 6: What More Could You Want?

Part 5: Now You Know From What

pairing: Older!Leon Kennedy x Ex!Coroner’s Assistant!Reader

warnings: masterbating, cowgirl, peepingtom!Leon, stalker!Leon, talks of drugging, talks of sex

Dead Dove Do Not Eat

extra: gonna shoot for once a week updates for as long as i have 10 hour shifts, im hoping in december they stop. i really can’t stand this job you guys and i feel like my writing reflects how little time i have but don’t give up on me! im not giving up and i really want to get immersed into this world im creating for Leon and Reader!

Everything. I couldn't tear her down, tell her about the horrendous creatures I saw that god awful night. She didn't realize how much danger she was in, those- those people- they didn't help any. Mary, Marie, Marina- whatever her name was, she was one of those people, watching as they ate. My pretty girl rolling her eyes as the blue haired girl spoke, pointing her fork at my sweet bunny. Sweet, saccharine bunny. She was so far but so close, it's like her scent intertwined with mine, keeping her just in my mind enough for my peace to stay fleeting.

The device sits on the desk, the dark hotel room, once again, a comfort for a passing moment. Ice tapping on the glass, a sound to break the stoic silence as the glass rolls on the edge of the glass, fingers directing the liquor to tip from side to side. Screen flashing as texts spiral in. 'Leon, you're a literal asshole. Rebecca's worried and least you could do was tell us why you're in Seattle fucking Washington. Can you not get a good feel of Washington in D.C.?.', a scoff came from the back of my throat, of course. He always thought i needed to be baby sat, needed someone watching my every move like a rat in a cage. D.S.O could survive a few days while i got my plan in place. The rim of the glass pressed to the scruffy part of my bottom lip, cold and smooth before i lift it higher, downing the liquid, feeling it burn the back of my throat as a moan left my lips.

Slipping my fingers under the device, flipping it open to show the keypad. Fingers typing quickly as the buzz filled my mind. Can't lose the confidence i had quickly built, by the time my fingers had finished the message, the feeling of untouchable power slipped away, before hitting the button to send it to the woman who threw my mind in a pandora's box of thoughts. The bubble stays for seconds, then minutes. Surely, she's seen it. She hadn't been too dismissive of my return. Answering my call and talking to me, almost edging me into a state of euphoria to know that maybe, just maybe, i'd dug myself into her brain enough to keep her baited.

Thoughts of hopping on my bike and barreling to the little home, pushing my way into the door way to find her... all prettied up for that damned boyfriend she had. My head lulled into the crook of my arm, the warmth of my own skin causing a flush to come across my cheeks, heating up the skin, flushing it, bending my back into an uncomfortable arch. Wondered what she felt like, if she was still embarrassed when she stopped nude, if she'd grown confidence and thought she was as beautiful as she always had been. I just wanted a taste, a lick of her delicate flesh, watching the skin as it dimpled under my fingers, causing her eyes to roll back and her words to become less than whispers. Her needy little moans cut off prematurely as i felt for more, pressing into the skin more as she whined.

  With those questions came more, did she like the way he was with her? Was he soft and sweet on her, caressing her delicate skin with his tongue and grateful for every second he had the chance to touch her? He wouldn't have it long, not much longer and Od finally have the moment of weakness and snatch her away. Maybe drug her, maybe let her fight back. A pulling at the corner of my lips curled into a smirk, thinking of her holding up a knife and trying to stab at me, unlike the night she froze, staring from the corner of her doe eyes, watching a big bad wolf show its fangs so deathly close to the fragile bunny. To kiss death and fate so tenderly before succumbing to its hand- or in this case, a mug. The sound of her head cracking against the glass then floor rant through my mind. I couldn't help it, she was so... idiotic and pretty. A simple minded creature needing guidance in a world full of snakes and predators, looking for easy, pretty, temping prey.

  My eyes flicker to the phone once more, expecting anything, something from the prey. Nothing, not a damn thing. No 'don't message me ever again's or 'im going to call the police, Leon's. Nothing. That, that made me feel a nasty pit in my stomach, the thoughts of driving over to their home and seeing for myself what had her so airheaded she couldn't reply to a message. Maybe even see how Ryland- Ryan- touched her, was he too delicate? Did he know that she does like it rough, at least a little? Was he too rough, leaving her nervous and frightened? The thought kind of turned him on, imagining how leaving him did nothing but potentially put you in another psycho's arms.

  The thoughts became actions as the keys jingled from the grip i had on them, maybe i was still a bit more protective than i needed to be. This was for her safety, damnit. Nothing beat trying to keep those predators from her, than a predator himself. Every red light felt like it was hours long, leg bouncing, waiting for the light to change into that 'go' green. Eyes watching streetlights become blurs as the distance closes from between her and I. I can almost feel her, almost taste that sweet taste that only she can produce for my senses to take in.

  My heart ramps up as i get to the small drive way, turning off the lights to my bike, parking up at the tip of the path. Couldn't let her get a peek, she knew too much. I liked to rush things, like letting her see me and talking to her, setting up what i wanted to be a comfort, letting her know i'm not angry at her for leaving me, she didn't have to stay with this guy anymore, now. Maybe it was the alcohol talking, as i feel the ground shift, legs nearly buckling as the only window with lights stemming from it, catch my attention. Guiding my wavering stance to push forwards, as my fingers wrap around the frame, it hits me. Seeping into my ears a soft 'Ah, ah, ah, Ry~', muffled by the wall separating us, her voice was so dirty, something enough to send me straight to hell for the things i think of her. A temptress shied away into a human body.

  "Ryan~", my eyes snap up at her voice, my eyes nest pop out at the scene. "Yeah, did he make you feel this good? Bet he didn't.", Ryan's deep voice, echoing around the room as soft slaps of flesh on flesh sound out. His hands dug under her thighs as he assisted her in riding him. Keeping her pace for herself and him, watching his cock head nearly slip from her hole had my cock weeping. Her hair falling over that face, eyes closed and head back as she whined, crying silently as he abused her little cunt. How is wanted to just walk in there and force my way into those velvety walls and take what was and IS mine. Her whines were accompanied by a smack, landing on her ass as she bounced on him. "Dirty bitch- can't have me loving on you sweet and soft-", Ryan's head tilted back against the pillow, their black bed sheets all bunched up and messy. "Gotta be treated like some cheap slut.", he groaned as her hips bucked up. "Dirty bitch...", i couldn't help but repeat, seeing how her hips filled out in 7 years, watching her tits bounce and her arms tense as she struggled to keep herself upright on his cock. Her cunt- MY cunt- sucking him in with a squelching sound, her moans followed by a whimper as she lost her rhythm. "Good girl- fuck-!", his hands dig into the plump of her hip, "gonna snap my cock in half, pretty.", the huff of air falling from my nostrils fogged the glass as i hadn't realized i'd moved so close, watching as my girl, my bunny, came apart on another man's cock. It made me fucking sick.

My fingers came up, flipping the phone until it opened, scrolling to get to my camera before snapping a picture of Ryan, who now has moved to bend her over the bed, snapping his hips quickly into her. The picture was shitty quality, but it DEFINITELY got the point across as I hit the send button, patience is a virtue i never really had. Eager impatience, sheer excitement causing me to become annoying as a rookie. The muscles in my jaw ached, from biting back a moan as i palmed myself over my jeans, also aching from how tense i'd been while watching. The stiffness of my cock had be aching for some type of pleasure, pulling my jeans to my knees as i whip it out. Looking at it in the moon light, it was so flushed pink, begging to find a home in that pussy, eyes lingering on his hips as they lost themselves into a bliss, his bunny's face pressed into the mattress, just an opening from her eyes and he'd run. He felt his palm heating up as he pumped his aching cock, watching her lips part into a wince/moan. He felt his cock twitch, spilling white sticky ropes over a plant by the window. "Shit-", i hissed, realizing this is definitely evidence i was here, but it was meant to rain more tonight, he'd be fine. He always was.

  Now she didn't care to look or open her eyes while her love was blowing back shot after back shot into her right pussy. Ryan's hand ran her back, easing her up into his chest. "Good girl, my good slut.", his hands brushed down her hair, comforting her after such a rough scene. I wanted to scream, that should be me, holding her in my arms, coaxing her into relaxation. I have a house, much bigger than this that she can have entirely to herself, one I built for her. She'd be so grateful if she'd just talk to me. Just let me "repair" the damage I'd caused. I wouldn't totally rush her, but imaging a world where she was swole, child on her hip and cheeks rosy from leaning over some food she'd been preparing, her eyes wide as I walk home and get to place a huge kiss on her lips, tasting the food on her lips, as she cooked his favorite meal.

  My hand slowly pumped out the rest, watching as she reached up for her phone. Ryan holding into her as she grabbed it and yelped, she must've see the photo. The phone in his pockets dinging as he used his non cum covered hand struggling as to not drop the phone but as soon as he opens the device. Bunny's name, her contact completely, the same from 7 years ago as it flashed on the screen, he ducked, quickly, laying in a thorn bush. Damn Chris, always blowing up my fucking phone for some sort of reaching out to get me to come back or explain myself… how do i explain what i’m doing? "Fuck~", I whined, looking up as I saw my bunny close to the window looking off into the distance, looking for me as she buttoned up what looked like one of Ryan's shirts. It hurt... but what more could i want? what more could you want, bunny?

[ygsunflower]

I know I’m not the first one to notice this, but Carina is a lot more laidback with Maya- She’s comfortable with letting Maya speak for her both in serious (at her visa interview) and non-serious (here at the bar letting Maya order her white wine) situations, or at least allowing Maya to take charge first.

At first I did not like this character “change” at all and I blamed it on the inconsistent writings on Carina’s character between when she first appeared on Grey’s Anatomy and when she moved to Station 19. However, as we see her appearing more on both Station 19 and Grey’s (only occasionally), and as she started to have more storylines apart from Maya and their relationship, I kinda appreciate her different personalities (for lack of a better word).

When Carina DeLuca was first introduced on Grey’s, she was this straightforward, no-filter fireball of a sexy Italian goddess. She was extremely confident and firm about her profession and her sexuality. Yet she has a soft spot for her brother. And we also see her almost losing her usual confidence and fieriness in front her father. She was never afraid to speak her mind, but when she was with her father, and later on her mentally-illed brother, she almost became too scared to speak up and be firm with them. I’m not a mental health expert/psychologist, but from what I saw, Carina has the tendency to shrink her ego and be extra soft to those she loves. I don’t think it’s uncommon for people, but it’s just a more obvious trait for her. Anyways, this is the justification I made to understand Carina’s different personalities with Maya and everyone else.

She loves Maya deeply, so she feels comfortable enough to shrink her ego. It’s not about Maya dominating her in the relationship, but more so about Carina feeling safe to let Maya take care of her and she doesn’t feel like she has to constantly putting her feet down and be firm. But I cannot draw this conclusion until the S6b of Station 19 and Grey’s S19b. Before this two half seasons, we did not see much of her as her independent self. But now we get to see her having her own storylines. The abortion clinic storyline and her running this trauma here on Grey’s showed us the good-old confident Dr. DeLuca is still very much present.

Her scenes in 6x07 of Station 19 even proved my previous point on her trusting her loved ones to make the call for them- once she got yelled by an obviously unstable Maya, she no longer considered this Maya her safe place. She immediately switched to her stern doctor voice to Maya and took back her trust in Maya to make any decisions. Carina did not back down as her last resort to try saving her wife from essentially killing herself.

In terms of her fun and almost rambunctious side of personalities, even though we don’t see her as excited Dr. Orgasm again (wasted potentials if you ask me, both the actual research topic and her overall mannerism during that storyline were gold), we still have the fake abortion clinic comedy and her scenes with Vic and Dr. Lewis are always fun. Her comedic side now is just toned down which I can accept. (Props to Stefania, I love her little physical comedy acting for Carina.)

That to be said, her personality trait of being extremely soft around her loved ones also made it easy for her to get walked-over by her loved ones… Both her father and Maya, as much as I hate putting Maya next to Carina’s dad, they abused and took advantage of Carina’s love and softness around them when they were in a mental health crisis (a longggg crisis). Her love to them made her tongue-tied in front of them and almost turned her into a slight pushover… And that’s why this second half of S6b has been great for Carina’s character- A slow burn Marina recovering road allows us to see Carina realizing the downside of her “weakened heart” around those she loves. After repeatedly getting hurt by her loved ones, Carina is finally burned out this time. She lost her strengths to pick herself up from the pain caused by her loved ones and keep loving them. She is so hurt that she’s scared of not surviving the next pain. She still wants Maya and she is still hopelessly in love with her but she needs Maya to win her back despite her instincts to forgive her again and again. She needs to see Maya’s changes to regain the courage to comfortably let go of her rationale to love Maya fearlessly again. What makes it worthy for Carina is that this time her love is changing, for the better. Maya is healing and she apologized to Carina. And the difference between Maya and Carina’s dad is that Maya now listens to Carina and respects her needs. Despite their downs and heartaches, Carina is still able to feel safe enough to spill all her fears to Maya.

This long rant is just to say that with the past few episodes of Grey’s and Station 19, we finally get a holistic understanding of the character Carina DeLuca. Rather than inconsistent writings, with simultaneous appearances of both Dr. Carina DeLuca and loving wife Carina DeLuca on 19 and Grey’s, her different personalities are explained and demonstrated well. These seemly contradicting personalities now make her more human and endearing.

[jamisonwritestf2trash]

Hello! I like your TF2 headcannons alot, what kind of song's do you think they would listen to? I have no idea if this has been asked or if there are canon answers, but I'd really like your take on it if ever! <33

What's Songs Do The TF2 Mercs Like?

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LOVE THIS. Thank you for your ask! This hasn't been requested yet, so I'm so excited to write it. I'm not sure if there's canon music taste and favorite songs either, but we can just ignore the Canon lmao. Also, mutual appreciation! Thanks for being a mutual 💖

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Also, it's totally not based on songs I've listened to or like, not at all. Completely unbiased. I'm going to give their top 3 favorite songs and why those are the top 3! I hope you like this, and I didn't go too far of the original ask 😭

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Demo -

1. Escape (The Piña Colada Song) Rupert Holmes. They find it funny in an endearing way. He likes the idea of love fading only to reconnect. (Does he choose to ignore the fact that they were both trying to cheat)

2. First - Cold World Kids. The second he heard this song, it hit him like a ton of bricks. He just thinks about every relationship he's lost and how unfairly he must have treated people and just ugh.

3. Problems - Mother Mother. He feels like a disgrace to people he cares about and people he loves. He listens to this music to make himself feel worse, but don't worry the other mercs always try and turn him to cheerful music when he's like that, but sometimes he genuinely likes Problems and First just from a liking music perspective.

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Engie -

1. 9 to 5 - Dolly Parton. Engie is the number one Dolly Parton fan. He's head of the fan club. Speak ill of her, and you'll never speak again. He can also just relate so well with a girl boss, because he is a girl boss.

2. Black Betty - Ram Jam. He loves uptempo songs to work to. He finds he works faster with them. I just think he thinks this song is so great for work.

3. Save a Horse (Ride a Cowboy) - Big & Rich. This man. I wanted to be a cowboy so badly growing up! Let's him feel like a cowboy and just a fun song that he really likes playing. (For a while, he didn't know what the implications were. It was super fun when the other mercs caught him singing it and then having the meaning explained to him.)

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Heavy -

1. You're My Best Friend - Queen. He wants to be everyone's friend so bad! He wants someone to listen to this song and think of him. He just wants to be a good friend above all else. (He is! He just doesn't think so.)

2. Count On Me - Bruno Mars. Much like above, he wants to be a friend. He wants to be seen as dependable and caring. Scared he doesn't come off that way!

3. I'm Still Standing - Elton John. Resilient fighting, man! This is his hype song. It especially helps him after a bad match. It helps him remember that he does a lot to help carry the team and he shouldn't be so hard on himself.

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Medic -

1. Body - Mother Mother.

I never really touched on this in my previous headcanons but I think Medic also has some body dysmorphia. It's just not as bad as spys. I also think this man has vivid intrusive thoughts. I feel like this song for him is most of the things he thinks about put into words he doesn't have.

2. Are You Satisfied - MARINA. This. Man. Has. Never. Felt. Good. Enough. He's always set his own expectations of what he should be so high that he can never do anything but fall short. He also feels a lot of pressure from the other mercs and is always scared of disappointing them. He loves to hear someone else sing of the feelings he has.

3. The Dismemberment Song - Blue Kid. I had to throw this in. It was either of this or The Red Means I Love You. He loves both. He thinks their really good inspiration songs to go into surgery humming. Be afraid if this man comes at you while this tune is playing.

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Scout -

1. Get It Up -Mindless Self Indulgence. I don't know why but this song just feels like Scout is singing it. Like I genuinely think that he fucking wrote this song 😭 Likes the beat and the way the singer sounds more than the lyrics themselves.

2. Everywhere I Go - Hollywood Undead. See above. No, but genuinely he loves this song. Gives him such confidence for no reason. Makes him feel so cool. I do think he hasnt done anything like this. Yeah, he drinks,but he's never acted like the song. He just lives vicariously through it. Likes the lyrics more than the song in this case.

3. Without Me - Eminem. He wanted to be Eminem so bad! He wanted to be that controversial white boy who could rap. I think all of his favorite songs are just any white man's favorite song ever. He actually does good rapping the song without lyrics. You'd think it be embarrassing but it's actually not, somehow.

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Sniper -

1. Read Between The Lines - Tom Cardy. Come on, how is he not supposed to love this song. It fits him so perfectly. I definitely feel like he loves this song because he always feels like people should know how to understand him even though he isn't giving them anything to work with.

2. Ballroom Blitz - Sweet. He likes the beat and tempo of this song more than anything. He also likes the entire vibe of the song if that makes sense. He can also imagine "being the man in the back," an imaginary scenario king if you will.

3. Another One Bites The Dust - Queen. Took all my restraint not to make every song a Queen song. Had to keep reminding myself I could make a post for that on its own lmao. No one can convince me that this song doesn't play in his head when he gets a good kill. One time, just for fun, he tried to sync with the claps and was super successful.

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Spy -

1. Money, Money, Money - ABBA. I know this man is like probably 50 or something and has a son and whatever, but sometimes I forget that and think he's a 30 year old classy woman from the 1920s. So, in my mind, he likes ABBA. Likes Money, Money, Money though because he likes the idea of a rags to riches heist plot (that's what I imagine when I hear this song anyway)

2. Royals- Lorde. This man wants to be royalty so bad. He tries to be so classy and dignified, which is funny because you'd think he'd want to be as mundane as possible, but that's neither here nor there. I definitely feel like this song just makes him feel fancy.

3. Vous Le Voulez - ABBA. Yes, I did hc Spy as having two ABBA songs in his top three. No, I will not apologize. This man has definitely killed this song. And! He also dance fought to this song. (Think that one scene in Jumanji, the one with the Rock.)

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Soilder -

1. Party in The U.S.A - Miley Cyrus. I mean, can you really blame me for adding this one? I already added it to shitpost canon!

2. Cherry Pie - Warrant. Dad song! This is such a dad song, just like he's such a dad! This man just reminds me of any middle-aged white dad who grills and drinks beer. And I get that so much when I hear this song. So I'd think he'd like a dad song:)

3. Dragula- Rob Zombie. THIS MAN CAN YELL. He loves to sing (scream?) this song! It's a good song to start with, and the fact that he can have a fun time yelling and singing makes him happy!

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Pyro -

1. drop pop candy - reol, giga. I have this headcanon I never touched on for some reason. Pyro knows every human language that exists. So they love listening to music in other languages!They actually really like how sweet the music sounds in contrast to the actual lyrics.

2. My Axe - Insane Clown Posse. PYRO. IS. A. JUGGALO. 100%! You can't convince me that they haven't painted their mask to look like juggalo fave paint. Definitely would play this song in their head during a match. They just replace axe with fire or something similar.

3. Buttercup - Jack Stauber. They like most of Jack Staubers' music! They really like the different soft sounds and low tone music.

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Okay. I'm posting this hoping everything works! I've had to start this over 5 times and I am exhausted 😭

I loved this prompt, but I swear to god I got such back writers block halfway through just finding the songs they'd like. I'm really sorry if this turned out to be bad. I'm going to go sleep for the years.

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Soldier headcanons tomorrow!

[girllookingoutwindow]

Why are there fanfictions of a pregnant Penelope running away from Colin to live in Ireland or Scotland and raise the baby without ever telling Colin or her trying to get rid of the baby by drinking what Marina drank in season 1? Like Pen would ever kill her baby or leave her baby fatherless. And it's always the reason her running being that entrapment comment. First Pen would have forgiven Colin easily after that comment and second she would NEVER take his child away from him. That's his kid too and Colin loves children. She would NEVER try to kill her baby. Those so-called 'fans' don't understand Penelope's character at all.

Hi, anon. I understand why you feel that way.

I didn't read them, so I don't know anything about it.

The entrapment comment, wasn't for her, it was for Lady Whistledown and she knows it. I don't think is enough important either. Like yeah, he was hurt, he said something mean. And I don't like to talk about the M character at all.

Pen is nurturing person, I don't see her doing something like that. I m not trying to shame anybody. Some people has their own reasons, and problems. It's a choice having a baby or not.

But she has money so she would have the resources to have a kid, even for her own.

I'm trying to think when I'm writing. I'm dont see Pen running away, that doesn't sound like her. But if she did, or she had an annulment and she goes away to figure out after that she's pregnant, she would have it. I think she would go to live to a knew place where nobody knows her, and she would try to have a life there. But I don't see her hidden the baby from Colin either. I only can think in a soup opera when she sent a letter to Colin and he never received or something like that. She would tell him the truth. I don't see Colin letting her go either. The only way I can think about it is this:

She gets pregnant but she doesn't know it. She feels remorse from being LW, and she doesn't want to marry him because of that. So, she takes her money and goes away. She lets a letter to him saying the truth or part of it. She figured that is pregnant after she starts a life in another place and then Colin is trying to find her. She wants to come back but something happens and she can't. Colin finally finds her when the baby is recently born.

This is one of the ways I can imagine it.

[sicknessbysalem]

More Yulya/Novak and him being an absolute idiot eating gluten? Maybe in an important date, so he decides to just Suck It Up?

novak being an absolute idiot is my favorite flavor of request/fic, so i deeply appreciate this

also i've been missing these two so i'm so excited to write this

some background info: most figure skating competitions (international level) have banquets and stuff after the event itself. so i decided what better way for novak to be an absolute moron who thinks he's invincible. also wanted to introduce some more characters.

tw emeto, food intolerance, stomach pain (the obligitory 'novak is an idiot and won't tell his fiancée girlfriend' warning as well)

Novak can't say he dislikes the fact that even though he came with her, he can't spend most nights with Yuliya.

Sure, Yuliya might have been able to spend those nights in his hotel room, but neither of them really wanted to test that theory. Not right now, not when Yuliya is only in her second season back into competition.

Novak also can't say he's happy things turned out the way they did with the Mavericks. He really isn't happy that he had to step away from playing, and he's even less happy about the fact that the Mavericks lost their conference game and were done for the season. Novak is sure he's taking to it harder because he was there, on the sideline, he should have been able to play. But he can't play, he knows he can't. And it kills him.

But what he is happy about is being able to travel with Yuliya. Being able to go with her to Sheffield for the European Championships. Marina was more than happy to take Elya for the week. Novak would have brought her, but she was nine now. She was in school, more important schooling than had this happened when he was still playing.

Novak tried to think of the bright side. He tried to think of the positive things that went in with all of this mess. And that made it so much better.

Yuliya qualified to compete at the European Championships. Truth be told, Novak was incredibly impressed. Not that he didn't have the highest level of faith he could possibly have in the woman he asked to marry him, but he also knew from her that qualification was no easy task.

He was ecstatic she invited him to come with. Sure, having separate hotel rooms wasn't ideal, but he still saw her doing what she loved, and he still spent time with her.

"Do you want to come with me?" She had asked that evening, as she got ready in his hotel room.

Novak had shut his laptop, abandoning the thesis paper he was working on. It wasn't due for weeks and he was far enough ahead.n That was another thing he was thankful for, no longer playing meant he could finish his master's degree. Not that it mattered now, but it would be useful. If he ever needed it anyway.

"Come with you where?" Novak asked.

"To the banquet?" Yuliya said, "It's honestly pretty fun. Hey, can you fix this?"

She sat on the edge of the bed, pulling her hair away, Novak went to fix the collar of her dress. Or, whatever it was.

"Am I allowed to?" Novak asked, "I don't want you to-"

"Trust me, they don't care," Yuliya said, "At least, they never had before. Kirill's going to be there, Zalatoi said he might as well. He's not feeling so hot after his program which is to be expected. Wyatt too, I'm sure Wyatt will ask you all about Jayden but-"

"Yeah, I can go," Novak said, "You're lucky my mom convinced me to pack something nice."

That was how he ended up here. Sitting at a table with Yuliya. With Yuliya's friends. Other European skaters. It felt like another gala dinner, or a wedding reception. But it also didn't.

There was a lot of conversation. And Novak was pleasantly surprised how many people wanted to talk to him. He would never tell Yuliya, but he had been incredibly worried that everyone would either ignore him or not want him there. Novak wasn't much of an extrovert, but it was nice to just have people around who at least seemed tolerant of him being here.

He hadn't even realized dinner came, hadn't realized he's eaten either. But before he knew it, the staff was taking plates away. Including from him.

Yuliya was engrossed in a conversation with a girl from Bulgaria. Melina, Novak thought Yuliya had introduced her. Novak was more than happy to sit back and just listen to the conversations around him.

Kirill was talking to Yuliya and Melina. Something about World Championships, something about a place he went, they were talking vacations and sights before Novak knew it.

As time slipped away, Novak found it harder and harder to keep up with the conversation around him. He checked his watch, but forgot the time almost as soon as he looked away. It didn't matter, really.

Novak felt... weird. He didn't know how to explain it. Not immediately.

"Hey, I'll be right back," He whispered in Yuliya's ear, kissing her cheek lightly.

Novak excused himself from the table with a casual smile, excusing it as needing a quick bathroom break. He made his way through the lively crowd, the sounds of clinking glasses and laughter fading as he stepped into the quiet of the restroom.

Leaning against the cool marble sink, Novak took a moment to collect himself. His stomach churned uncomfortably, and he realized with a pang of regret that he must have eaten something that didn't agree with him. That was the only thing he could think of. After all, it was possible. He hadn't really been paying attention to what he was eating, and he definitely didn't want to make a deal out of it by saying anything. Unless this was something else, but it didn't feel like anything else. Really, it didn't feel like much of anything.

Splashing some water on his face, Novak tried to push the discomfort aside.

As Novak stood in front of the mirror in the restroom, took a few breaths, he couldn't shake off the sense of unease that had settled over him like a heavy fog.

Physically, he felt a knot of discomfort coiling in his stomach, a nagging sensation that something wasn't right. It was like a subtle but persistent ache, a dull throb that intensified with every passing minute. His mouth felt dry, he tasted the faintest trace of blood, he'd been biting his cheek of a little bit, he assumed. Maybe, then, it was anxiety. Being in an unfamiliar place, with unfamiliar people. Sure he knew Yuliya's friends by legal definition, but they were her friends. Not his.

Despite these unsettling sensations, Novak tried to muster a sense of determination. He couldn't let this ruin Yuliya's night, not when she was so excited about the event. Taking a deep breath, he straightened his posture and splashed some water on his face, hoping to wash away both the physical discomfort and the mental fog.

As he returned to the banquet hall, the sights and sounds of the lively gathering seemed to come into sharper focus, though the knot in his stomach persisted. Novak resolved to push through, putting on a brave smile for Yuliya's sake. She wanted him here, he knew she did. He wasn't going to let her down.

Novak returned to the table with a practiced smile, hoping to blend back into the lively conversations seamlessly. Yuliya, ever perceptive, glanced at him with a gentle concern in her eyes.

"Everything okay? You were gone for a bit," she asked softly, her concern laced with a touch of worry.

Novak waved off her concern with a casual shrug. "Just needed a breather, all good," he reassured her. Yuliya nodded understandingly and turned back to her conversation with Melina, the topic shifting to upcoming competitions and training routines.

As the evening progressed, Novak's condition worsened despite his attempts to hide it. The knot in his stomach tightened, and waves of nausea washed over him with increasing frequency. At one point, he tied back his hair without thinking about it. The vibrant conversations around him blurred into an indescernable mix of voices, making it difficult for him to focus.

As he sat there, he only felt worse. As quickly as he realized something wasn't right, things took a turn for a worst. The need to be sick was urgent now, a desperate plea from his body to rid itself of whatever had caused this turmoil.

Yuliya was engrossed in a discussion with another skater, unaware of Novak's sudden departure. However, Kirill, who sat nearby, noticed Novak's hurried exit and the strained expression on his face.

Concerned, Kirill excused himself from the conversation and discreetly followed Novak to the restroom.

As Novak leaned heavily against the bathroom sink, his hands trembling slightly, he was hit with a wave of intense nausea that seemed to consume him from the inside out. The once-faint discomfort had escalated into a full-blown ordeal, his stomach twisting and churning as if in protest against whatever had triggered this sudden sickness.

Before he could register the severity of his condition, he turned quicker than he thought he could, dashing for one of the stalls, completely forgetting to shut the door, heaving uncontrollably. The taste of bile and the acrid scent filled the small restroom, adding to his misery. Each retch was accompanied by a sharp pang of pain, his body convulsing with the effort to expel whatever had upset his stomach so drastically.

Just as he struggled to catch his breath between bouts of vomiting, the bathroom door creaked open, and Kirill's concerned face appeared in the mirror's reflection. Kirill didn't hesitate, immediately taking action to check on Novak.

"Hey, easy there," Kirill said softly, placing a hand on Novak's back in a comforting gesture.

Novak spit, coughed, tried to catch his breath. Before getting so sick he fell to his knees.

"Ah shit, one of those," he hears Kirill say behind him.

Yuliya told him something about Kirill. But Novak couldn;t remember what it was. It was enough for Novak to know Kirill wasn't mad, at least.

Novak's face was pale, sweat beading on his forehead despite the coolness of the restroom. His whole body trembled with exhaustion and the exertion of being violently ill. He felt weak and drained, his muscles protesting with every movement.

"Here," Kirill reached around, loosening a few buttons on Novak's chest without thinking.

"I-I don't know what happened," Novak managed to gasp out between breaths, his voice hoarse and strained. The sudden onset of sickness had caught him completely off guard, leaving him entirely shaken.

"It's okay, sometimes these things happen," Kirill reassured him, patting his back gently. "Just focus on breathing for now. Take small sips of water when you can."

Novak moved over. He didn’t want to tell Kirill to get his hands off him, but the touch was an annoyance at best. So, he simply moved over. He leaned against the stall wall, trying to steady his ragged breathing. The taste of bile lingered in his mouth, a bitter reminder of his body's revolt.

“This just happened?” Kirill asked.

Novak nodded, “I don’t… know why. Please don’t tell Yuliya.”

Kirill nodded in understanding, "I won't say anything if you don't want me to," he assured Novak, “But maybe you should consider telling her. She'd want to know you're not feeling well."

Novak hesitated, torn between wanting to keep Yuliya in the dark to avoid ruining her night and the practicality of getting some rest. "I... I'll think about it," he replied vaguely, not wanting to commit to either course of action just yet.

Kirill gave him a reassuring pat on the shoulder before stepping back slightly, giving Novak some space. "Take it easy. If you need anything, just let me know. And here, take this so you don’t exactly smell like you just puked up your dinner when you talk to Yuliya.”

Kirill grabbed a pack of gum from his pocket and handed it over. before leaving the restroom to give Novak some privacy.

Alone in the restroom, Novak took a few moments to compose himself. His mind raced with conflicting thoughts, trying to come up with a plausible excuse to leave the banquet without causing undue concern. Finally, he decided on a simple explanation that wouldn't raise too many questions.

When Novak returned to the table, Yuliya immediately noticed the tired lines etched on his face. "Everything alright?" she asked, her concern evident in her voice.

Novak managed a weak smile, trying to appear nonchalant. "Yeah, mom’s just trying to call.”

Yuliya nodded understandingly, her expression softening with concern. "Do you need to go?" she asked, ready to accommodate his needs.

"I think I should," Novak replied, relieved that his excuse seemed to work. "Sorry to cut out early."

Yuliya shook her head, her concern evident. "Don't apologize, your mom comes first. Take care of whatever it is, okay? I’ll come up in a bit anyway.”

Novak nodded gratefully, excusing himself from the table and making his way back to his hotel room.

-

Novak was exhausted. He wasn't sure how he ended up so terribly spent, but here he was.

He intended to put on something more comfortable and lay down. By now, his stomach was killing him and he was unbearably nauseous. A million things ran through his head as to why he was so sick. It was so sudden. He felt fine earlier, really he did. He felt fine until after dinner.

At some point, Novak dozed off. It didn't last long. Before Novak knew it, he stumbled out of bed and hurried to the bathroom, his body heaving with the familiar sensation of sickness. He barely made it to the toilet in time, the sound of retching echoing in the confined space. Each wave of nausea was accompanied by a rush of adrenaline, his heart racing with the intensity of the sickness that seemed to have no end.

Meanwhile, Yuliya had returned to the hotel room, her footsteps quiet as she entered. Concern etched her features as she noticed Novak's absence from the room. His phone was on the nightstand. She walked over and plugged it in for him.

"Novak?" she called out softly, her voice tinged with worry.

The sound of vomiting from the bathroom answered her question before Novak could. With a sinking feeling in her chest, Yuliya hurried to the bathroom door, pushing it open to find Novak hunched over the toilet, his face pale and beads of sweat glistening on his forehead.

"Novak, what's wrong?" Yuliya's concern was evident as she knelt down beside him, one hand pushing back some hair that got in the way. The sight of him in such distress tugged at her heart, her worry for his well-being overriding any inconvenience or plans for the evening.

Novak glanced up at her, his eyes filled with a mix of embarrassment and discomfort.

"I... I don't know," he admitted hoarsely, the truth of his situation laid bare in front of Yuliya. "I've been feeling off since the banquet, and it just keeps getting worse."

Yuliya's gentle touch and comforting presence offered some solace to Novak as he struggled through another bout of sickness. Yuliya hated to leave him, but knew he hated her being so close when he wasn't feeling well. She stepped out, she changed out of her nice dress. She came back with a water bottle, just as Novak coughed up one last mouthful of whatever was making his stomach so pissed off.

Once the episode passed and Novak sat back, his breathing still ragged.

"Kirill was worried about you," Yuliya said, standing to grab a cup from the sink, pouring some water in the cup.

"Yeah, he followed me, for some reason," Novak said.

"Kirill has a chronic vomiting condition," Yuliya said, "It's like a sixth sense, he knows when someone is going to throw up."

"Wait how did-"

"I texted Marina," Yuliya said, "Asked her if she and Elya were okay after what you told me."

"Fuck, why?" Novak sighed.

"Why didn't you tell me you weren't feeling well, you didn't have to come to the banquet if-"

"I was feeling fine earlier," Novak said, "Genuinely, I don't know what happened. I ate dinner with you guys and just started feeling shitty."

Yuliya sighed, sitting next to Novak without a word. Novak looked to her, confused by her sudden silence.

Yuliya lightly faceplanted into his shoulder. Novak would have been worried, more worried about her than how terrible he felt. But Yuliya started laughing.

"You are so stupid," she scolded gently, her tone laced with exasperation but also a deep caring for his well-being.

Novak winced slightly at her words, knowing she was right but not wanting to admit it fully.

"You had what I did, didn;t you?" Yuliya asked, "What… most of us had."

"I did but I mean," Novak said, "I didn't think about it and even if I had I didn't want the trouble of-"

"Zalatoi is complicated, he has to eat both gluten free and vegetarian or else he ends up like you," Yuliya said, "Kirill always substitutes the actual meal for a few sporadic rounds of lighter things, like a soup or salad or whatever they have. They are used to it, babe."

"I know, I know," he muttered, his gaze downcast as he felt a pang of guilt for causing such a scene.

Yuliya sighed, reaching for a towel to dampen with cool water and handing it to Novak. "Here, wipe your face. Then we can lay down and cuddle to make up for you giving me a heart attack and a half.," she said, her voice softening as she resumed her comforting gestures.

As Novak cleaned himself up, Yuliya couldn't help but feel a mixture of frustration and fondness towards him. His tendency to downplay things and brush off concerns had always been a source of mild irritation, but she knew it came from a place of not wanting to make a fuss or draw attention to himself.

"We'll make sure you're okay before anything else," Yuliya assured him, her hand resting on his shoulder in a reassuring gesture. It would have been nice to stay that way.

But it was Yuliya. Yuliya lightly smacked the back of Novak's head. "For fucks sake, next time pay more attention to what you eat."

"Oh," Novak said, "Well, if I do that, then I get to miss out on your excellent bedside manner and caregiving."

Yuliya smiled, "Keep talking and I'll drag you to bed, literally. Across the floor."

"You're hot when you're annoyed," Novak told her, smirking slightly.

Yuliya went to speak, but as always such a gesture left her speechless for a moment. She smiled again.

"Yeah, I know," Yuliya teased, "You're ugly when you aren't sending me into cardiac arrest."

"I'm what now?"

"Jokes on you," Yuliya interrupted, "You practically always send me into cardiac arrest."

[odettecarotte]

I've been reading Avgi Saketopoulou, who looks like this:

Her bio on the Division 39 website states: "Avgi’s love of psychoanalysis and of queers is rivaled only by her love of motorcycles."

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have been seduced by her in three different ways.

First, my beloved supervisor loves her and now Saketopoulou, her ideas and her demeanor, is part of our growing "relational third." Becky had me read the article "The Draw to Overwhelm" two years ago. The only other person I know who has read this independently of my recommendation is a dominatrix in New York who cites it on her website. It is a secret society of freaks.

Second, Saketopoulou writes kind of like she looks in this picture: like a brilliant, demanding and inventive top who can also see into your very soul. Her agility with language and theory is almost scary. One is not surprised that this is the psychoanalyst who gave us the concept of "exigent sadism."

Third: I watched one of her lectures over Zoom. The man who introduced her was an old, white psychoanalytic dick and probably most of the participants were, too. He mispronounced her name. Despite what I perceived to be a hostile audience, a woman of color spoke during the time for questions at the end. She evidently felt safe enough to share the hint of a personal disclosure, the kind which can ignite a shitstorm of ignorant reactivity in such a group. Avgi held the woman in a welcoming, respectful compassion. You could feel it in her gaze, her voice, and what she attended to in the woman's words. It was Marina Abromovic "the Artist is Present" level of connection with a stranger in a performance space. Over Zoom! No one said anything disrespectful after. Avgi protected the woman and let her have her process.

When I got Sexuality Beyond Consent, I cracked it open then put it down after a few pages. It felt dense, like the author was using big words to obscure some Yeah Duh ideas. I had wanted to love it, so I was disappointed. I avoided engaging with it. I resisted. (I was also depressed because of Gaza and my dog dying, not in the mood for anything else hard.)

When I finally felt strong enough to pick it back up again, whew! I have been cracked open by it on an intellectual level the way Mark Lanegan's "Whiskey for the Holy Ghost" cracked me open on a spiritual and emotional level in December 2021. Like, I'm scared by how deeply it affected me and how much I loved it! Yet my love is undeniable!

[englishstrawbie]

I'm afraid you'll have to suffer through some of my mistakes

Reba McEntire - You’re Gonna Be

I’m DG85 on AO3.

Slow clap 👏🏻👏🏻 Well done, my friend, you have achieved what no-one else has and, with your song choice, you have got me to write a Marina baby!fic. 😜😂

Before writing this, I went back and rewatched Maya with the baby in episode 2x11, which is such a wonderful moment, and that is how I have always envisioned Maya being as a mom - not how she was with Pru in season 5. I hope you enjoy this! 😊

A link to the song

>>>>>>>>>>

It is almost ten p.m. when the baby starts fussing for a feed. Carina is still under sedation after her surgery and doesn’t stir, which leaves Maya – literally – holding the baby, walking him up and down the short width of the room in the hope of getting him to quieten. A nurse brings by a bottle of formula and hands it to Maya without a second thought, apparently confident that she knows what she is doing. Maya takes it from her with a ‘thank you’ and a grateful smile, then settles on the rocking chair in the far corner and watches as he gurgles happily while he drinks.

Maya has barely stopped staring at him since his arrival a couple of hours ago, taking in every bit of him, mesmerised as if he is the first baby she has ever set eyes on. He is all DeLuca, as far as she can see: a button nose and soft pink lips, dark brown eyes and long lashes that he definitely gets from his Mama.

His hands fumble at the bottle, not able to grip anything just yet but already trying. It distracts him from the task in hand and Maya encourages the nipple back into his mouth.

“Come on, baby,” she coos gently. “You need to get all these nutrients inside of you so that you grow.”

He does as he is told and latches on again. He is a little small for a baby born at thirty-eight weeks, just five pounds and eleven ounces, but otherwise healthy, according to Jo. Still, Maya is determined for him to gain a little bit of weight while he bottle feeds, until Carina is strong enough to try breastfeeding.

Maya runs her thumb over his fingers, watching as his fist curls into a ball – so small, yet so strong.

“You know, baby, you’re gonna have a lot of people telling you that these are surgeon’s hands. It runs in the family, you know,” she says softly. His eyes dart around at the sound of her voice, as if he is trying to look at her. “Maybe some people will wonder if you’ll do something more physical, like me, or if you’ll be artistic, like your Uncle Mason. But what I really want for you is for these hands to do whatever you want them to do.”

As if he understands her, his little hand collides with hers, his palm warm against her skin. It makes Maya smile as tears pool in the corners of her eyes. Motherhood has brought about a new slew of emotions that she had not been expecting, including some that keep trying to transport her back to her childhood despite all the work she has done to move forwards from it. Thank God for Diane Lewis helping her navigate it all.

“Not that being a surgeon would be a bad thing, if that’s what you want,” she says suddenly, as if she needs to clarify her words. “Because your Mama is a surgeon and she is… well, she’s the most amazing person that I know. And we are so lucky that she’s ours.”

She feels him sigh against her, as if agreeing with her.

“I know you’re impatient to meet her. I know she really really wants to meet you too. She’s been waiting for you for so long. She’s sleeping at the moment but, as soon as she wakes up, you’re going to be the first thing she wants to see. So we’re going to make sure that this belly is full, and these clothes are clean, and this diaper is empty, so that you can have the best cuddle with her, okay baby?”

She convinces herself that he smiles as she talks about Carina.

“And I’ll be nearby too,” Maya promises. “I’ll always be nearby, your whole life, whenever you need me.” She falls solemn. “I can’t promise that I’ll always get it right. In fact, I know I won’t. Being a mom… it’s not something I ever saw for myself, until I met your mama. And between you and me?”

Maya pauses, biting into her bottom lip.

“I’m a little bit scared,” she admits, lowering her voice into a whisper. “Because I want to be a good mom – but I didn’t have very good teachers, you know, so I’m probably gonna make mistakes along the way. But no matter what, just remember that all I want for you is to be safe and loved and happy. And if you’re all of those things, baby, then I’ll know I’ve got something right.”

A tear falls down her cheek, landing on his hand, and Maya kisses it away.

“We are going to give you a name, by the way,” she says. “You won’t be ‘baby’ forever. We have a shortlist, but Mama and I can’t agree on which one we like the most; and we thought we had another couple of weeks before you were going to be here.”

He grows tired of the bottle and she takes it away, lifting him up to her shoulder and rubbing his back to encourage the gas to escape from his stomach. Maya uses her legs to rock them back-and-forth in the chair.

“But if Mama asks, tell her you like Finley the best, okay?”

“Are you and our son ganging up on me already?” a groggy voice catches her attention.

Maya looks over at the bed, where Carina rubs her eyes as they adjust to the dimly lit room.

“Hey, you’re awake,” Maya says happily, although keeping her voice low.

“Is he okay?”

“Yeah, he’s perfect,” Maya gushes. She smiles across the room at her wife. “You wanna meet your son?”

Despite the pain that radiates from the wound on her stomach, Carina nods as she lifts herself up slightly, her eyes lighting up keenly. Maya stands carefully and walks over to the bed, placing their newborn onto Carina’s chest and watching as he snuggles in, knowing immediately who she is.

“Oh my God,” Carina says. “He’s beautiful.”

“Beautiful like his Mama,” Maya says, leaning down and pressing her lips against Carina’s hair.

She watches as Carina’s eyes sweep over him, soaking it all in, counting each of his ten tiny fingers.

“How are you feeling?”

“Tired, sore,” Carina says. “But happy.” She looks up at Maya with shining eyes. “He’s here.”

“Thanks to you,” Maya says. “You were amazing in there, you know? And I have never been more in love with you and our family, as I am right now.”

She leans down and kisses her wife softly, laughing when the baby lets out a small whimper of discontent that the attention has been taken away from him for a moment.

“I guess we’re going to have to get used to being interrupted,” Maya muses.

“I think you’re right,” Carina says with a small laugh. She kisses the top of his head. “And I think we’re going to forgive him every time.”  

Maya smiles to herself. She is pretty sure this kid is going to have her wrapped around his little finger in no time. In fact, she already is.

[banditchika]

finally back in town homie here u go 💘 🎀 💞 💌

💘Is there any posted fic you want to rework/re-edit/re-write?

you know, i think all i'd want to rewrite is my blemiplat fic. all my stuff from other fandoms are kind of relics of the person n writer i was during the time those fics were posted, but i reread the blemiplat fic recently and it BUGGED ME. after all the time i spent agonizing over what to write for arknights (which you were there to hear, u brave n beloved soul) and all the wips i ended up making, i published just the one thing and it was too early... i NEEDED the deep plat lore, she's out of character w/ the new info we got and it drove me BONKERS when i reread it recently... in some alternate universe a more disciplined bandit rewrote that fic, but this one is leaving it be

🎀give yourself a compliment about your own writing

like any good jester, i've got mad jokes! that hasn't changed, but i think in the past i was capable of establishing a strong mood and setting and keeping a fic very contained within that atmosphere. i dont think my newer works have that cozy contained feeling anymore, but it could be im being more daring w/ my new fics? the jury is out...

💞what's the most important part of a story for you? the plot, the characters, the worldbuilding, the technical stuff (grammar etc), the figurative language

characters, for sure. i live n die by whether or not characters r recognizable, esp since my plots tend to be along the lines of "hey wouldn't it be funny if". its important to me that my writing is technically strong too, but i can and have convinced ppl to follow me to places they wouldn't go w/ a gun as long as my character work is strong

💌share something with us about an up-and-coming work (WIP) that has you excited!

heehee

[Pearl] slips from her perch and muscles into the space between Marina and the arm of the couch, leaning her entire (insubstantial) body weight against Marina's side. They’re pressed hip to hip, as close as they can get without Pearl going squid and clambering crawling into her lap. She's taken to doing that recently, an about-face from the Pearl who usually restricts herself to friendly bumps of the shoulder and quick, one-armed hugs.

To be fair, that's a boundary that Marina set to begin with. She'd been so skittish in the early days, longing for and shying away from friendly touch in equal measure. Then came her stupid, awful, wonderful crush, and with it the lingering fear that Pearl would see right through her if they touched. Pearl would get too close, and she’d know that Marina was helplessly in love, head over heels, and that just couldn't happen. She couldn’t give away one secret without losing the other. Her past, octolings and inklings, Off the Hook… it was too much complication, even without considering that Pearl didn't love her like that. 

But the big secret is out now, and Pearl's reaction has outstripped even her wildest dreams. Not only did Pearl accept her, all of her, without a second thought, she’s even helping Eight settle into life on the surface. Not to mention the way Pearl’s been acting lately. She’s so sweet, practically doting, and Marina can’t help but hope that she has a chance -- if only she can keep from getting ahead of herself.

But it’s just so hard to play it cool when Pearl is warm and plyable and close enough for Marina to smell her ridiculously-expensive cologne. One of Marina's tentacles squirms over her shoulder to twine around Pearl’s narrow frame, the tip of it coming to rest coyly on her collar. She nearly chokes, her cheeks blazing with heat.

And that’s the other reason why she tries not to open herself up to more contact than girl friends -- girls being friends, oh cod -- would normally share. Her tentacles and their occasionally-uncooperative brains want nothing more than to betray her constantly. 

[squid-ink-symphony]

SQUID SISTERS AND BIG MAN COLLAB???? THIS IS SO SICK

I love that we got to hear more of Big Man's voice! I know he's canonically the one making all the music for Deep Cut so i never really felt that bad about him not singing because it felt like we were still getting a piece of him in every song cuz the Deep Cut instrumentals are absolute bangers, but it's nice to be able to hear more of his voice!!!

But this collab between different idols opens up so many other possibilities. We know Deep Cut and the Squid Sister's know each other so it makes sense they would work together. So here are some other combos i'd love to hear: First of all. Marie and Shiver. I feel like these two both have very interesting voices and i'd kill to hear them together. Honestly just Big Man, Callie, and Frye sounds it would make for an amazingly upbeat and catchy song as well. Or heck, even just Callie and Big Man. We know Callie recently worked on writing Brand New Hometown, so why not have Big Man work with her to develop that talent more since he already has much more practice with it? Frye and Callie on their own could also make some epic beats. I feel like that would be a VERY energetic song. Frye and Marie could also work. Honestly anything could work i'm basically just thinking of every possibility at this point. Anyway, i feel like if Frye and Marie worked together it would be a very passionate song. I would also love Callie, Marie, and Shiver as a group. I just feel like it would work so well. Frye and Callie's voices are sort of similar in a way but i think Shiver, Callie, and Marie are all distinct enough that they would each have an individual sound in there.

Oh man, but if we added Off The Hook into the mix??? For starters Big Man and Marina would be my first pick for a collab. Both of them have very unique voices that stand out from the other member/s of their respective group and the other idols that always leaves me feeling wowed. Marina's vocals are just SO pretty and u know those two would make the most banger song you've ever seen. But you know what my second pick would be? Pearl and Shiver. At first it probably sounds random, both of those idiots are insane and murderous. They would make the most intense song with lyrics that would get it taken off the radio. Splatsville chaos with Pearl's personal brand of crazy? Sounds perfect. In which case why not do Deep Cut + Pearl? Ofc Pearl and Callie would be the pink duo so and i wanna see more choreography w them together cuz i think all we have now is some live shows but they are both son energetic and make such good use of the whole stage and i wanna see the funny squids run around dancing and jumping.

SPEAKING OF LIVE SHOWS. I can't wait to see Liquid Sunshine as a live version. I know it'll add that tiny extra kick of energy that it's missing(imo), but what i'm really hoping for is to see them have Big Man move around and dance more. I know his model is kinda oddly shaped for dancing but i believe in the animators. They can make it work. They can make my boi move around more.

Anyway, rambling aside i really adore the new song and i hope nintendo continues to give us more Squid Sisters + Deep Cut collabs besides just the 3mix. I know i mentioned the song needing an extra kick of energy and i think that's just cuz it's a battle song. If it was just something random i'd be completely satisfied but a lot of the other battle songs(especially for splatfests) is so high energy. OH WAIT ONE LAST THING! Imagine if Shiver and Frye also had pseudonyms they went under? Or we learn their last names finally? Just imagining all the random names they could go by if they were working on their own/working with others outside of Deep Cut.

[sk0rp13]

Midnight Picnic

Cory + Marina

Summary: Cory and Marina have a Picnic....At midnight.

Words: 1k

CW: Swearing. Pretty short cause I don't got much motivation.

I did a story on my Instagram asking for writing prompts, and one of my friends said for them to hang out, so I choose them having a picnic!

Cory sat on the cold counter of her bathroom sink, some curly strands of her hair gliding through the bristles of a brush she grasped in her right hand, with her fingers then combing them after each stroke. She did this every morning, it was apart of her daily routine, but, what she didn't do every day, was dress up in a pretty pink outfit and count down the minutes until the clock hit 11:30....pm.

It was no suprise Cory and Marina couldn't hang out in public, because unlike Cory, whose ability didn't alter her physical appearance to an inhuman amount, Marina's ability made her take on some features of a shark....and regular people don't really look like sharks. So, naturally, being around people who don't know of his existence likely wouldn't go well, which led to the two girls to spend most of their time indoors.

Not that it was to much of a problem, but, it did make Marina a little sad she couldn't do the things most people could anymore, just because of an ability she didn't even want. And whenever Marina was sad, it made Cory sad to, so, despite her better judgement, she suggested for them to have a picnic....at midnight....so no one could see Marina. And Marina agreed!

Which was why Cory was awake, well past the time she'd usually be asleep, getting ready to go out.

With a sigh, the young girl pushed open the door to her house, before stepping out onto the porch, and as expected, she was met with the blinding white of the void, seeing as she was in her pocket dimension of sorts. No matter how long she would use her sketchbook as a home, she'd never get used to waking up in the limitless yet primarily empty space.

Flicking her sketchbooks back cover open to the last page, she then dropped it to the floor, before stepping into the page, letting her body fall into paper. The process only took a mere few seconds, and was relatively painless, but, it always left Cory feeling tingly. And just like every other time she did this, Cory now found herself standing atop her sketchbook, in the middle of a dark wooded area in which she took up residence.

It was silent, no animals and definately no humans, seeing as Cory went deep into the land, to make sure no one came across her or her little make shift camp. Well, that was until the sounds of rapid approaching footsteps could be heard from behind her as a weight of a person was thrusted onto Cory's back.

"What the!?-" The split haired girl exclaimed, quickly glancing around despite the fact the person was on her back. "Coooooryyyyyy" A raspy voice screeched into the aforementioned girls ears as the person wrapped their arms around her neck.

The actions themselves were enough to tell Cory who this was, but the voice sealed the deal. "Marina!?" She questioned rhetorically, before huffing softly. "What have I told you about screaming in my ears! Are you trying to make me go deaf, you damn fish stick!?" She scoffed, shaking Marina off her back like she was some simple droplets of water, making the shark-like girl hit the floor with a thud.

"Fish stick!?" She looked up at Cory with a look of pure offence, before quickly rising to her feet once more. "You heard me!" Cory smirked as she started to walk in the direction of the treeline with Marina following suite soon after. "Fish stick, really!? You're one to talk, you art school reject!"

"Wow, your insults are almost as lame as you are"

"That's not what you're mother said last night!"

"Overused too, just like yourself"

Their little bickering soon came to an end at Cory's comment as Marina growled in annoyance, not once had she ever won a fight with Cory, and she hated it. With none of them bothering to make conversation again, they now walked in silence to their destination, which was actually quite far away....If only one of them could teleport.

A black checkered blanket layed flat on the grassy ground of a small hill. Sat atop it's soft fabric were plates of food, and bottles of different drinks, as well as the two teenagers gorging themselves on all of it. Marina ate fast, shoving food into her mouth to try and satisfy her never ending hunger, the negative to her ability, while Cory ate at a moderate pace, chucking light heartedly judgmental looks at her friend, who smiled and laughed in response.

"Sometimes I question if you're actually a pig instead of a shark" She sneered, before taking a sip of the sweet strawberry flavoured milk she loved so much. "Haha, very funny" Marina replied sarcastically, rolling her eyes to further prove how disinterested she was in this topic. "How have we been friends for 12 years, it's surprising" Cory mumbled, glancing around at the discarded wrappers and empty plastic bottles, most being from Marina, and knowing Marina, Cory would probably have to be the one to clean this up.

Cory looked to the ground for a moment, before rolling her eyes. "I guess so...." She muttered taking another bite of her piece of cake, before the universe seemingly decided to play a prank on them.

Letting out a deep sigh, she shook her head, before using a fork to pick up a bit of cake, and pop it into her mouth, enjoying the spongy texture. She was trying to relax, but, having chosen to have their picnic in a park in the city of all places, made her nervous. Even if it is midnight, Cory was still worried someone would see Marina. The said girl, having noticed her friends tense nature, snickered softly. "Girl, calm down, it's late, no one's out at this hour"

"Hey...Is that a shark?-"

Oh, shit-

[petalsmooth]

This show cherry picks what it chooses to adhere too as far as historically accurate presentations of regency life but season 2 you had Prudence "compromised" by being alone in a room with Lord Featherington. And Lady Danbury saying engaged couples are considered as good as married. This is true.

In the carriage Pen had NO idea Colin was going to profess feelings, propose or that they would have an extended intimate scene there. I doubt Lady W was at all on her mind. In truth, that alone would be enough to compromise her and result in an "honorable" man tendering a marriage proposal.

When they announce to the family engaged I don't even blame her for that because probably not her first thought about being Lady W until Eloise shows up and after that extricating yourself from an engagement announcement in that moment or asking to speak alone with Colin would be near impossible.

Where she DOES start to be in the wrong is when she writes of the engagement in Whistledown. Sure, news might spread before that but it wasn't officially acknowledged. She could have pulled him aside in morning and chose instead to commit them pretty solidly together. I don't think she did that to manipulate it so he had no choice to be with her, I think she did it because Lady W can't be behind on the news of the ton and was concentrated on maintaining her rep as the premier gossip columnist. All the same, this is the first mistake.

Second mistake is having sex with him. It wasn't the manner in which Marina attempted to compromise with no feeling to lock him into a marriage, but practically that is the effect is it not? You've now not only had the premier gossip columnist tell everyone engaged but you've had sex with her. Colin is an honorable guy. He would have married Marina despite being pregnant with another man's kids. He's not going to beg off an engagement after having this intimacy with her, particularly if produces a child.

The engagement I can kind of overlook as unfolded so unexpectedly for her, might be messy to break off but he could but the second...sorry, I do think he has a right to be mad.

Now in defense there are several moments where they show her trying to tell him before backing out so she clearly knows she should. She is not Marina, she does not want him manipulated into having to marry him. She's just afraid of losing him because she does love him. This is why I like her and can't stand Marina. But she's still wrong and he's right to have some doubts especially since she doesn't tell him. He catches her.

I've said before I don't view L.W. as the show writes her for drama but this isn't about L.W. really. It's about trust and honesty and betrayal of hat trust against a man already betrayed once before. If a Pen stan can't appreciate why he's have doubts and anger and trust issues and need time to walk it off and think through and process this...well that's on you. Unless you want them to have a toxic marriage boundaries need to be established and there needs to be acknowledgement she'd never do something like this again, and he needs to believe she'd never withhold information like this again. Otherwise why are you rooting for them to get married only for it to fall apart later?

If anything be grateful happened now. If breaking an engagement is considered near impossible, divorce would be practically impossible. I'm not certain you could overcome the trust issues in that event, and his choices would go from very limited to none. And I think it's also in the end rather special. Because in the end he CHOOSES her despite this, forgives her, loves her. She isn't entitled to any of those things but he gives them to her freely.

So many of her stans spent year's talking about what he'd have to do to be worthy of her again, well, this right here is better than any revenge plot you had in mind. Given the opportunity to walk away and even valid reasons to do so, he loves her still and they marry. He understands her better than anyone and still chooses her. That's epic romance. Not tens of suitors and pining for 7 eps with Colin crying on his knees.

[aquaburst3]

I was rewatching season one of Bridgerton in prep for season three coming out soon. While the show has its faults, Penelope being Lady Whistledown makes much more sense than Dan being Gossip Girl in the original series.

If you go back and watch the first two seasons with that knowledge that Penelope is writing the LW pamphlets, there are hints dropped about that being the case. For example, when Marina is receiving all of the gifts and attention, the rest of her family baulk at the sight. But, Penelope has a little smirk the whole time. That's when LW makes a piece about her being a popular choice that season. This makes sense. Penelope has a strained relationship with the rest of her family, so seeing them be knocking down a peg would be satisfying to her. However, when Marina begins to court Colin, HER man, and even has the gaul to say that she has a one-sided crush on him...despite that not being true, the claws come out. That's when LW reveals the truth that only Penelope and the rest of her family would know, ie that she was knocked up long before the events of the story, since she was shacking up at her house the whole season. While that was obviously shitty of her, it makes sense. Colin is her childhood friend and romantic interest, so of course she would be territorial of him. There are plenty of other instances like that, so I always got a sense this was planned out well in advanced.

Plus, it makes sense from a character standpoint. She is studious and academic then her peers, wanting to continue her studies. There are plenty of scenes of her mother reprimanding her for reading. Her status as a woman in this time period hinders any of her ambitions. Dishing out gossip and disrupting the natural order of high society is one way for her to gain some power and have things work in her favour. Plus, she would be smart and well read enough to pull that off. While the cat isn't completely out of the bag yet, I have the feeling that some of her actions will catch up with her soon.

Whereas with Dan, we don't get that same satisfactory rewatchability with that knowledge. There is hardly any set up for the twist looking back. It seems super random. Probably because that was something they made up at the last second. Because, oh, boy, there are a fuckton of plot holes with that being the case. (Seriously, why the fuck did he react to his own posts? And email himself with Blair right behind him? Why would he send out ones that work against his own self interest to the point of sabotaging his own relationships?) It also makes him look like a psychopath who's obsessed enough to sabotage everything, himself and his own sister included, to make himself fit "the Manhattan's elites". Nelly Yuki would've made much more sense.

So, yeah. That's one thing Bridgerton has over the original Gossip Girl series.