#the scream i just scrumped

[thekingofspin]

Doctor who spoiler ish ‼️

I actually screamed.

"don't you know there's more to life than the moon and the presidents wife"

THE MOON AND THE PRESIDENTS WIFE MENTIONED????

[smurny]

“He won’t kill you just for lying down next to me,’ said James.

‘Who won’t?’

‘You know who,’ said James. ‘My jealous master.”

‘I think he might very well kill someone for that.’ The words just came out.

THE SCREAM I SCRUMPED WHEN I READ THESE LINES. 😵

[ad-astra-per-aspera1976]

THE SCREAM I JUST SCRUMPED

I’m slowly losing my mind today

[campyvillain]

no fucking way splatoon let me do this. the scream i just scrumped

[2frosty4you]

Howdy! Are your requests still open? If they are, mind if I request the mercs with a teen reader who was hired as a mercenary who ends up getting hurt in battle?

Mercs reacting to Teen Reader getting hurt in battle [Drabbles, Platonic]

| All mercs x GN!Reader Platonic | 746 words | Masterlist | Ask/Request |

Heyy!! and yes they are still. I am just really slow qwq

TW! uhh blood, mentions of violence and uhhhh blood

╔═════════════════╗

Scout

Since scout see's you as the younger sibling he's never had, his immediate reaction to seeing the enemy soldier hit your arm with his shovel, the sickening crack of your forearm echoes through the boston's ears. Thankful for his speed as he throws his guillotine straight for the soldier's neck, the man gurgled and coughed blood as he crumbled to the floor.

Scout will mention this time and hold it against you with a laugh, but makes sure to either get medic or a health-pack.

Soldier

Soldier is fighting, screaming and most importantly proclaiming his love to America as he shoots rockets at the enemy team. Till he catches the sight of you from the corner of his eye, and then your fist hitting the side of a spy's face.

The spy quickly attempted to back up, then shot a bullet through your thigh. He heard your pained reaction, and before the Frenchie could finish the job Soldier swung his equalizer and lobbed off his head, a gnarly sight but he couldn't have some French Commie taking down his American Soldier in training.

Pyro

Pyro is on their asses the mere moment they hear your shouting and the voice of the scout. Pyrovision glitching as they watched the scout swing his bat at your face, before the bat could touch a hair on your head pyro pounced and with their homewrecker in both hands they swung over and over, with pure anger and vigor at the Boston's head.

They turned the scout into a mush of flesh on bone.

Afterwards they check on you, checking being picking you up and calling for medic.

Heavy

He takes the man's head in one palm, and crushing it like an apple.

Heavy is protective of his family, and due to your young age in this environment his blood is boiling. He puffs air harshly through his nose, as if he were a bull and if they dare land a bullet or blade on his family? Consider their limbs ripped from their bodies.

If you are injured he takes you to medic, though most of the time medic will be with him.

Demoman

He is drunk more than 98% of the time on the battleground, yet this doesn't dampen his reaction of charging right into the pyro and swiping their head from it's shoulder before they could land their axtinguisher onto your burning body.

You will need to stop him from throwing his scrumping on you if you're still on fire, look he's trying.

Engineer

Dell doesn't get angry, he's concerned when he sees you stumbling up the stairs. burnt marks on your skin and blood dripping from bullet holes in your arms.

Then he see's the bastards which had done this to you, his own kid hurt by the heavy medic pair who looked so full of themselves. Laughing, until the sentry beeps and locks onto them. Engie is thankful for his sentry placement, and smiling at the pair before they get killed and blown to bits.

He checks up on you as his dispenser heals you, like the good dad he is.

Medic

'How did you get hurt??'

Is his main question, he took his eyes off of you for one second and a demoman was already stumbling towards you. He jabs his ubersaw into his face, killing the drunk Scot.

He heals you of course, but lectures you on staying near him and not running off. He keeps you close to himself and heavy for the rest of the game .

After the battle he does a quick checkup on your then shoes you away to finish his paperwork, and experiments.

Sniper

Shoots a bullet right through the eyes of the engineer who was around 3 seconds of delivering the final blow with his gunslinger onto you. He grumbles and waves you off if you mention it after the battle, but if you thank him with coffee he has a warm feeling but just acts like the old man he is.

Spy

He's not a good dad. Quite the opposite.

But for once, after seeing the pained expression on your face from the needles in your arms is the first time, since scout's birth that he feels like a father. And acts like one.

He strikes the medic in the back, swiftly pulling his butterfly knife from the medic and kicking his dying body away with a sneer.

'You are too reckless'

He mutters to you before brushing his hand on his suit jacket and disappearing into smoke.

╚═════════════════╝

[noturlondonboy]

The scream I just scrumped and will continue to scrump

[socksandbuttons]

*crawls back here* Socks, I am once again stimming and yapping about Solar. Him as Wolverine in the thumbnail is something I didn't know I needed. When I tell you this male wife is SO FINE. When I tell you this male wife is scrump-delic-ious!! /ref I am losing my mind over here AAAAAAA

Segway from that, love how he's really acting like a father to Jack, scolding him and whatnot. About the Bugatti LMAO. Jack, sweetheart, you're a little confused but you got the spirit.

Also, love how Jack officially referred to Sun as uncle and a brother to Solar. Even though Solar still refers to himself as "more of a cousin". It's cute that Jack prefers closer familial ties but if Solar wants to stay as cousin, even after Earth could ask him if she could call him her brother (Youtube, bring back TLAES, please. Thank you.), it'll be great either way (⁠ ⁠◜⁠‿⁠◝⁠ ⁠)

When Jack told the part when Nexus broke down and screamed "I missed my brother!" I was like "YES, SOLAR! He said that. Nexus, a moon model, called you his brother and not a byproduct. Yes, that happened!" GOSH, but the way he checked up on Sun after that info-drop because I remember Sun saying that he felt hurt when he heard that from Nexus. I need to rewatch that episode again to hear what Sun really said.

There's so much more I want to yap about for this episode (but I don't want to be annoying (⁠｡⁠ŏ⁠﹏⁠ŏ⁠)) like Jack having a mini existential crisis because he was made with FazBear parts LMAO, and Solar and Sun finally hangout!! FINALLY!! It wasn't shown onscreen but I hope they get to talk about their hangout in the upcoming episodes, like what they thought about the movie, etc.

-🥭

MANGO OUT HERE GOING OFF ABOUT THE MALE WIFE IN MY INBOX FOR WHO KNOWS HOW LONG DFJHDS

SOLAR BEING DAD IS EVERYTHING LOOK AT HIM ADJUST TO THAT. wasnt considering himself a father but the moment jack was calling him that??? switching gears. bugatti... like the luggage??? THE CLOTHING??? wild.

Solar just being... unsure where he is in the family (SIR YOUVE BEEN ACCEPTED AS THEIR BROTHER BY EVERYONE... altho earth and lunar goijng to officially ask him??? my heart. god laes PLEASE RETURN TO USSS)

Jack infomring Solar of that moment and then going 'you okay sun?' like... jack so aware but so silly at the same time... Solar ur son is too good.

jacks existential crisis... poor guy. Solar being upfront about it tho. BUT YEAH WE FINALLY GOT SUN AND SOLAR HANGING OUT. BONDING!!!

[babieken]

THE SCREAM I JUST SCRUMP, THE GASP I GRUSP, THE THOUGHTS I THUNK—

[honey-luvs]

the scream i just scrumped because if this isn’t true I will cry!! We need to see daniel ricciardo slay the met gala

[bringinghometherain]

@thetragicallynerdy the scream I just scrumped

[formulaaone]

the SCREAM i just SCRUMPED

[houseofpunk]

MERCEDES????????

I just screamed... I scrumped....

[cactus-cactus-cactus]

i am actively devouring your art it is so scrump bro. screaming and squealing. your shading and your posing is just so UHSHFUGHGHSHAH 🥹🥹🥹 dies.

SHFHGNGJJK. You’re literally my favorite person ever omfg thank you… crying and crying ilysm 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

[josephqunnies]

🤣🤣🤣 the scream i just scrumped... but you know he'll turn into wifey guy by next week...

[its-still-cuppi-cakes]

I WANNA MARRY MY BF ONE DAY JFC!! ONE OF HIS FRIENDS TOLD ME HE ALWAYS TALKS ABOUT ME AND HOW MUCH HE LOVES ME AND I'M GONNA FROW UP AND CRY I JUST SKFNDNLFNMEFDNAFJEANFJDN

THE SCREAM I JUST SCRUMPED

AND IT DOESN'T HELP THAT WINTER MAKES ME FEEL ROMANTIC AND LOVEY DOVEY LIKE AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

[macaroni-n-shiftyknees]

"this is a terrible idea" my friend bibblity skibbity says as we slowly lift off the parking lot concrete. "this is just a really terrible idea. possibly the worst idea you've ever had, which is frankly impressive."

I ignore these protests as I maneuver our newly acquired (stolen) Ford f-150 into the air.

"bibbitly skibbley, you just don't understand. my genius is immeasurable and, this...THIS is my greatest scheme yet. 'permanently borrowing' this Ford f-150 will finally put us in the position we need to win this war. don't you want to finally beat the EGG?" I say awesomely as I raise us higher. bibble skibbidey shifts uncomfortably in the backseat of the Ford f-150, but wisely elects not to push further.

=-°-=

me and bigbble skrible have been best friends ever since we locked eyes 30 minutes ago behind the dumpsters in the Ford dealership parking lot. turns out we both have a common enemy, EGG. stands for Egregious Goat Garbage. freaking hate those guys.

obviously the correct course of action for this situation was to immediately snatch sir bilibble skibbity and their rat bag, and throw them into the backseat of the ford f-150 I had prepared beforehand. they did start screaming and pounding the windows, but I knew that was just them being their silly bibbgleogiey skrimmbmifle self.

they calmed down after I gave them some very expired nyquil to drink and explained my genius plan. we were going to fly above the EGG base of operEGGtions and rain down PAIN on those dang goats. I daydreamed about this as I absentmindedly flew the Ford f-150 towards our first stop. IKEA.

-=-=-=-=-

after exiting the IKEA, and running over a few small children I couldn't see due to the 5 foot bumper height - all part of the ✨Ford experience✨- we finally arrived at the EGG base. I just saw it on the horizon when bimbl srubble, silent for most of the drive, decided to speak up. "I'm sorry, but I can't let this go on any longer. you are mentally unstable and should not be driving any sort of car, let alone one with jet engines duct taped to the bottom."

bumbblo skrubble was betraying me!!!!! my amazing genius plan, devastated by the betrayal of my best friend!!!! "no bimb don't do this to me" I begged. "my whole life I have been building to this. the final battle. and it starts with dropping this IKEA table/improvised bomb on that DANG BASE!"

"my dude that is a Amazon warehouse. you need help. please drive us back to the Ford dealership. my rats are scared. they are squirming in their bag." cried blumbuoo srumple. " don't make me force you!" "FORCE ME??? ME???" I yelled in rage. " you are a FAKE FRIEND. I hope your rats cry themselves to sleep tonight. I cant do this anymore. this is where it ends, Sir Blump Scrump." Shaking from the rage of this terrible betrayal, I steer the car into a large telephone pole. as we go down, I say my last line.

.

.

.

"blim scrum, I thought I knew you. but you are a stinky stinky traitor. in the words of someone probably, 'give me IKEA bombs or give me death'."