#the same way i try to just ignore it and move on when my brain tells me that the world is ending and i need to put my cat in a backpack lmao
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readwritealldayallnight · 2 days ago
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im on my knees begging for jealous Simon headcanons 🧎🏻‍♀️
The thing about Simon is, he really has no reason to get jealous when it comes to you, and he knows it
He knows there isn’t anyone else who could make you smile so much your cheeks hurt, no one else who could make you laugh until you claim you’re going to pee your pants, no one else who could make you feel as good as he does, in oh so many ways, because you tell him so
You tell him that those same feelings of being loved, understood, appreciated, and wanted, those very feelings that you make him feel each and every day, he gives them back to you a thousand times over
He knows when you look in his eyes and tell him that you love him, that there isn’t a doubt in your mind that he is the only one for you, and nothing or anyone could ever change that
You’re as smitten with him as he is with you
Still though, Simon does have eyes
And while the logical part of his brain is telling him that he’s got no reason to be gritting his teeth and clenching his fists underneath the table, he can’t help but grow more and more frustrated with the way Soap and Gaz continue to flirt shamelessly with you
To be fair, you had warned him that keeping your relationship a complete secret from everyone would likely result is moments where Simon would have to watch you get hit on, and simply have to grin and bear it
That didn’t mean it was any easier, watching his only best mates try and work their charm on you, all while he sits at the same table and watches you roll your eyes at their advances
“Aw, come on love, just one chance, s’all I ask for!” The handsome, young sergeant practically whines to you, cheeky grin plastered across his features as he tries in vain to convince you to let him take you out some time
“Pfft, ye’d be nothin’ but a waste o’ her time, Garrick. We wouldn’t even ‘ave to to leave base for me to show ye a good time, bonnie.” The Scotsman winks at you, pointedly ignoring the way Gaz elbows him in the ribs at his comment
Throughout the entire exchange, Ghost’s gaze has never left your face, watching every time you scoff and roll your eyes at the men’s antics, reminding himself that you’re his, and he is yours, and the two sergeants are nothing more than pains in both of your asses
Finished with your pitiful meal from the dining hall, you stand from the table with your tray gathered in your hands, flipping your hair over one shoulder as you look towards the men trying to win your affection
“Once again, gentleman,” you say to them, knowing that they’re listening to your every word and watching your every move. “I don’t fraternize with colleagues. At least not the Sergeants.”
The two men groan in feeble protest at the mention of their ranks, having heard this reasoning from you before
“Ach, what if I get myself demoted, lass? I ken I could do that, easy!” Soap teases you, only kind of joking
“Mmm, don’t think that’ll work.” You reply, beginning to slowly walk away from the group, but not before glancing over you shoulder to lock eyes with Ghost and add, “You might have to become a Lieutenant. Those are more my type.”
The two Sergeants are staring after you, slightly gobsmacked, while their Lieutenant hides an overly smug and satisfied grin beneath his mask, shielding the pride that spread through him at your words
“Shite, sounds like you might ‘ave a chance, LT.” Soap laughs, smacking Ghost across the shoulder in a playful gesture, thinking that the larger man would never actually pursue you, let alone sleep in your bed almost every night
It’s a few weeks later when you and the rest of the 141 are all out for drinks at a nearby pub however, when Simon finds his instincts growing stronger than his insecurities
Because that’s just it isn’t it? He’s not feeling insecure when he sees you walk towards the bar by yourself to order a new drink, at least a dozen pairs of eyes watching you weave through the crowd in hopes of making a move on you
He’s not feeling insecure when he watches some tipsy idiot try and pretend he’s drunker than he really he is when he ‘accidentally’ bumps into you, apparently feeling the need to put his hands on you as he apologizes
He’s not feeling insecure when he watches you shove the guy off, reading your lips he knows so well as you tell the guy you’re not interested, nor is he insecure when he knows the idiot won’t give up that easily, likely asking if you’re here alone before you point over to where the 141 have overtaken a booth in the back
No, he certainly isn’t feeling insecure when he sees that the man never bothers glancing back to the table, still trying to land a hand on your body somewhere, when Simon’s instincts take over, rising from his seat without a word to the men who glance his way and ask where he’s going suddenly
He’s acting on pure instinct as he stalks over to you, the crowd parting for his large frame to move by without hesitation, locking eyes with you just as he lands a massive skull gloved hand on the tosser’s shoulder, wringing him around to face him
Your would be admirer isn’t feeling so confident now when he’s staring up at a 6’4” wall of muscle donned in all black apart from the white markings of his skull balaclava
If he were a more jealous man, Simon might take more time to admire the way you can practically hear this idiot gulp over the loud sounds of the music, the way his eyes bulge out of his head and how he looks nearly ready to piss himself on the spot
But your man knows who he is to you, and so instead he shoves the geezer away, turning to face you as one hand lifts up the bottom of his balaclava, just far enough to swoop down and meet your lips in a passionate tangle of tongue and teeth, tasting the alcohol on each other’s breath and the desire in your systems, a kiss that says to everyone else watching, including the bewildered Captain and Sergeants gawking from across the room, that you are his and his alone
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carnivalcarriondiscarded · 1 year ago
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the artblock be hitteth Harder than normal, for tis not normal artblock. woe. Wally be upon ye
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youremyonlyhope · 7 months ago
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why won't my brain shut up why won't my brain shut up why won't my brain shut up why won't my brain shut up
#i'm overthinking something that i did and was told off for doing by my director#and on my way home i was thinking when was the last time i was even talked to like that during a production#and then i remembered the costume experience from hell of only a couple months ago that i've already began blocking out#but the thing is that that person was someone i knew i'd never have to work with again#i mean at first i thought i would have to work with them more. then they announced they were moving away immediately#so i only had to deal with them face to face for another weekish after that point and anytime they yelled at me#i was like 'cool. i'll do exactly what you say to do. and nothing more.' but then of course me being me#i did some extra stuff and they initially were like 'oh that's pretty' and then days later told me to cut everything i added#and like sure i get that the show was frozen but girl. that costume was unfinished. i was trying to finish it. it was frozen but looked bad#anyway. whenever they yelled at me and had actual malice in their heart i was like whatever. i was hurt. but i didn't care as much.#but this time it's someone i've worked with many many times before and it was about a habit i have that i know isn't great#but at the same time the thing that prompted it wasn't even me doing this habit it was something else#but she interpreted it as that habit and said that i can't do that on a production she's directing#and that if i couldn't stop then i could pull out from the production and there'd be no hard feelings between us#and honestly i think her reassuring that she knows i'm valuable and that she wants me there while also telling me not to do this thing#and the fact that she's someone i like working with and will continue to work with just made it all hurt so much more#especially since she referenced another past production we've done where i didn't even realize she had noticed that i do this.#and i found myself in near tears. and still am kind of in near tears. i can't decide if i need to cry or not.#and i had NO sleep last night so i was looking forward to sleeping tonight but now i'm just overthinking EVERYTHING#and like. i know everything will be fine. if i just stop inserting myself and stick to just my specific tasks. it'll be fine.#but this is one of the ways my ocd manifests. i feel like i have to personally fix something i notice going wrong. or it'll be bad.#because every single time i choose to sit back and not be nosy when i notice something it ends up bad in a way i could have prevented#if i just inserted myself in a situation i technically wasn't part of but knew i could help or fix. so i just need to not do that.#but then i feel guilt if it does go wrong in the ways i immediately assumed it would and in a way i could prevent.#and i've been trying to work on this for like 6 months and aaaahhhh it's hard and being called out on it from her just really really hurt#i still may or may not cry. i don't know. the irony of me telling my therapist THIS MORNING that it's been a while since i last cried.#and the universe being like 'i took that as a challenge' and handing me this situation for me to spiral over.#i need to leave things alone. i need to stare straight ahead. and ignore whatever isn't specifically for me to do. but ahhh i want to help#and then of course my mom has this same habit and it annoys me when she does it yet i do it to other people and ahhhhhhhh#brain please just shut up. i need to sleep. i have to work tomorrow.
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vamptastic · 9 months ago
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and like one of the things that made me realize oh this really isn't my fault was seeing a post on here about anger management and realizing that my dad never even tried to manage his anger until very recently when my mom made him start counseling under threat of divorce (after i moved out). like, he didn't even try, he just genuinely didn't give a shit about the impact his actions had on his children as long as it made him feel better.
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etheries1015 · 11 months ago
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We share the love language of biting. Now imagine TWST beatsfolk has that as an actual sign of courting. Like you're chilling with Leona, not dating or wooing him, and then you bite his cheek in affection. And all of Savanaclaw is shocked because among them, it's the same as i.e. proposing marriage. The utter chaos XD
OHH MY GOSSSHHH YOUR BRAIN >>> I LITERALLY LOVE THIS SO MUCH??? HAHAHA SODEFHSELKJD i'm gonna expand on that for a few characters...
Accidentally courting them
General warnings: Gender-neutral reader, not really proof read lol. Obvious Malleus and Lilia favoritism <3 I also decided that they ARE dating in this scenario, I think its cuter that way in my head heuheu
Featuring: Leona, Ruggie, Jack, Malleus, Lilia, ... and Rook HAHA.
TW: none! Just a bunch o' fluff of biting your non-human lover without realizing it was a sign of courtship <3
Leona
It was a typical day for Leona. You two were sitting in the lounge where most of the other students lingered, Leona becoming rather... possessive as of late. Instead of resting in his bedroom away from prying eyes as you had requested from your lover, he ignored all your feeble cries requesting privacy. Instead, he holds you in his lap without worrying what others are thinking. A form of showing others you were his, and his alone. You were conflicted in your feelings, staring at him. His eyes were closed, but he could feel your gaze burning into his head.
"How long are you-" Then it happened. You gave in. You gave his cheek a bit of a nibble. All of the sudden the chattering stopped, all eyes were on you, before they start patting Leonas back and giving him congrats while a few seemed to pull presents right out of their asses.
"Wha- what's going on?" Leona grumbled with a light blush before growling and pushing the face of someone who tried to hand him another gift.
"You all look like idiots! You know biting means something different to us. Don't be dumb." Okay, now you were extra confused. Seeing your utter ignorance, Leona sighed.
"Biting in our land is a sign of courtship, herbivore." ...Oh. You blush deeply and hide your face in his chest, Leona looking away flustered and ruffling your hair.
"Try again in a few years, and I just might bite you back."
Ruggie
You were walking down the halls with your boyfriend when suddenly you had the urge to just...bite him. an overwhelming sense of love and affection for the fact he had given you some of the bread he (probably legally) got ahold of. You smiled fondly at the bread and back at Ruggie before placing your mouth on the bulb of his shoulder, causing him to yelp in suprise and dropping his half of the bread.
"wha- huh?! What was that for?" He became flustered, bending over to pick up his bread and slowly move away from you with bright red cheeks. You furrowed your eyebrows and hugged yourself, almost embarrassed.
"I'm sorry, I just...I dunno," Your cryptic and non specific response left him with his jaw open and eyes wide, spluttering out things like "We're still in school! I don't have the funds yet-" before a familiar fist came and knocked the back of Ruggies head. Leona stood there smiling in amusement and chuckling at you.
"I don't think they know what that means to us beastman, Ruggie." Even more confused then before, you asked for clarification.
"You just asked him to marry you with that bite of yours, herbivore." Now YOUR mouth was wide open, and Ruggie managed to get flee from the scene without much notice from you nor his senior.
Oh brother. You have a lot of communicating to do with that one.
Jack
You were sitting at the lunch table eating away at your food when you noticed...Jack's biceps. You marveled at the sight of his bulky arms- it's a wonder to you how he managed to become so strong and have the motivation to train all day. With a burst of admiration, instead of biting into your sandwich - you took a bite into his muscle. He yelped in suprise and just stared at you, face slowly turning red. Ace and Deuce laughed at his reaction, ready to ask you what was up before Jack took it upon himself to... well, flustered and rapidly spit-firing plans.
"W-we are still so young! Are you sure about this? I-i never knew our relationship was at this level!" He grabbed both of your hands and looked you in your (bewildered) eyes.
"If you're serious about this, I promise I will protect and love you for the rest of my life. But before we go ahead with the ceremony, I want you to meet my parents and get their blessings. Oh, and I need to get a stable job after we finish school first, too, so I can support you and our future. know we haven't talked about marriage before but-" You quickly cut him off in astonishment before crying out,
"MARRIAGE?! Jack, WHAT are you talking about?! I am absolutely not ready for marriage! What got into you?!"
...Queue Ruggie and Leona hysterically laughing at your utter confusion, reveling in the ignorance of it all for a few moments longer before explaining properly what you had just committed yourself unknowingly to.
Malleus
You were laying in the bed of Malleus Draconias's dorm, scrolling on your phone whilst his tail wrapped around your waist as he sat next to you reading a book. You sighed lightly and leaned your head back against the board of the mattress, turning slightly to look at your handsome fae lover. Your eyes then went down to his pale and perfect skin of his neck, the way it was free from all blemishes, smooth, and bright. Something about it made you want to taint it a light shade of red... He felt you shuffle slightly to adjust your body to be in just the right position where his neck was in full view. He glanced over to you feeling you wriggle free from his tails grasp, tilting his head seeing the look in your eyes crazed as you leaned over and just...chomped down on his collarbone.
You felt his tail twitch and his hands quickly throw the book he was reading aside to grasp your wrists, turning your body around and pinning you to the bed and carrassing your cheek with his tail.
"Biting..." He murmured, "Does this mean the same to humans as it does to Fae? You wish to be wed?" Your jaw dropped and cheeks took on a rosey hue, stuttering over yourself.
"W-wed?! I mean, I like to bite when I feel affectionate b-but marriage...I mean maybe one day b-but-"
"Biting in Fae culture is a sign of courtship and ownership. How brazen of you to mark me," he chuckled, "I shall take it you wish to own the next king of Briar Valley?" You could tell at this point Malleus was teasing you, something he picked up from the time you two have been dating.
Malleus could not help but return the favor by riddling your body with his own bite marks. Although he understood you perhaps did not have the intention of marrying him with your silly little form of affection, he knew in his mind with every bite that he was very serious about your future with him.
Lilia
Lilia already knew that biting in the human world did not mean marriage, yet was akin to something more of "cute aggression." So when you have the habit of biting him in the privacy of yours or his room, he knows you simply meant it as a form of affection, letting him know that you had an overwhelming sense of love for the old fae. He bit you back consistently on many occasions, it just seemed to be the perfect form of showing love for one another.
You didn't actually know it meant something much deeper, until you were in the diasomnia lounge and unable to control yourself as you grabbed Lilias hand and bit down gently on his wrist. You couldn't help it, he was being so entirely silly and loving towards you, that you couldn't help but show this public display of affection. Much to everyone else's dismay, however. Sebek stares at you with his mouth agape, sounds of disbelief escaping past his lips yet a sentence unable to form. Malleus as well seemed surprised at this.
"(y/n)," Malleus said, "You wish to marry Lilia?" You coughed at the sudden question and let out a feeble and awkward chuckle.
"I mean...I wouldn't mind one day, of course. We haven't really talked about it. Why the sudden question?"
"HOW DARE YOU," Sebek cried out after finally finding his words, "How dare you bite Lilia and be so insolent as to not move forward with your actions in dignity! YOU MUST TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR PROPOSAL-" Lilia started snickering, cutting Sebek off with a wave of his hand.
"It's quite alright, Sebek. Biting means something much different to humans than Fae, I suppose this is the first you had seen us put on a show of affection, hence your confusion." He turned to you, who had furrowed eyebrows and pursed lips at Sebeks sudden outburst.
"Biting, my dear, is a form of courtship to us fae. It is a sign of ownership," He chuckled.
"Why didn't you tell me that?!" You exasperated, "I mean, it wouldn't have changed anything I have done, but I would have been more careful about it... especially if it means something more to you," Lilia gracefully explained he understood it meant something slightly different to humans, before gently grabbing your hand and raising it to his mouth.
"Well, now that you understand what it means," He put your ring finger into his mouth and took a bite at the base,
"Would you like to bite me once more, my dear?"
Bonus:
Rook
You bit his arm and he immediately was on one knee.
"Was that a proposal? You know mon cheri, biting one affectionately is often a declaration of courtship-" You hit the top of his head and walked away from your interesting boyfriend.
"You're not a beastman or a fae! I'm never biting you again!" Your face red and folding your arms, turning away (ah, his cute tsundere lover.)
Oh woe is Rook! He begs and begs you to bite him more, he wants to be covered in your marks. It means you were claiming him as your own, right? RIGHT??
~~~
This was so fun to write DFSEFDSFIHSLDKJF thank you for the brain rot heuheuheueheueh
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shomatoriashi · 2 months ago
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09/15/24; 05:40pm
{ drabbles / headcanons }
[ when they see other men hitting on you ]
featuring: sylus, zayne, xavier, rafayel
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sylus had allowed you to join him on one of his meetings. he had admitted to needing you by his side, just to help him cheer up while discussing plans to merge businesses together with a potential partner.
the meeting place was at a high-end bar sylus owned, filled with rooms that helped with keeping the privacy. you remain by sylus’s side, as his future business partner sat across from you. while you sit with sylus on one of the velvet seats, you became bored with each passing minute. your drink had long since been drained, your glass empty as the intimate light became reflected on its smooth exterior. time seemed to drag on, making mere minutes feel like hours.
sylus and the man kept droning on and on about the logistics of their business, talking about how each party had high hopes of supporting each other through their deal and blah blah blah blah blah…(clearly you were close to turning brain dead from boredom).
letting out a huff, you rest your chin against the palm of your hand. sylus senses how antsy you were getting, placing his hand over yours before giving it a light squeeze. such subtle displays of affection makes you smile in response, all while catching his tiny smirk as well.
while sylus’s partner reads over the paperwork, you trail your eyes toward the main floor of the bar, seeing all of the people mingling and dancing as the music began to play. as you focused on the familiar beats, you let out a gasp upon realizing that it was your favorite song that was playing.
letting go of sylus’s hand, he gives you a questioning glance. you point at the main floor of the bar, “my favorite song is playing, is it alright if i join in and dance?”
he lets out a gentle huff, “go on. i’ll join you in a moment.”
letting out a happy giggle, you press a kiss against his forehead before standing from your seat. with a bounce in your step, you walk down the stairs and join in with the others, basking in the pulsating music.
you simply follow along to its beats, body gently gyrating as you moved across the dance floor. gone was your boredom when you allowed your stiff body to dance freely, simply enjoying the music that was playing when a low whistle catches your attention.
you continue to sway back and forth, seeing a man dressed in a pristine suit make his way over to you. “whoa, babygirl, you’ve got to let me buy you a drink.”
your eyes were sparkling with amusement when you gave the man a shrug. “sure, okay.”
the man was shameless, flashing you a hungry grin that sends shivers down your spine. “so… are you seeing anyone right now?”
you had to hold back a giggle, catching sight of a familiar man dressed in a black and red suit from your periphery. a smile graces your features as you continue dancing, gesturing your head upwards towards the stairs.
the man frowns, using his pointer finger toward the same direction. “you keep looking up-“
he follows your gaze and visibly stiffens, finally noticing sylus before letting out a string of curses.
“oh shit-“
but it was too late.
with a snap of his fingers, sylus was already settled next to you, his arms forming a protective shield around your waist. “what’s this? are you trying to hit on my woman so shamelessly, despite knowing how hard your father worked to strike up a deal with me?”
“m-mr. sylus, i apologize! i truly didn’t know, honestly-!”
sylus ignores the stuttering man, choosing instead to focus all of his attention on you. keeping your chin still, sylus leans down to press a searing kiss against your lips, earning a gasp from you. it takes your mind a few seconds to process what was going on until eventually, you kissed him back.
“mr. sylus, why did you run off so soon?” with a grunt, sylus was forced to pull away from you, watching as the older man reappears, out of breath and looking quite red from drinking copious amounts of alcohol during the meeting. his eyes look back from sylus and to his son, eyes already narrowing when he points an accusing finger at him. “now what did you do to get offend mr. sylus?”
the man was left a stuttering mess, trembling beneath his father’s livid gaze, but sylus simply brushes both of them off. he hums while taking out the thick stack of papers that were meant to seal the deal between onychinus and his company. “i’ll tell you what your son did; he managed to hit on my woman all while believing he could get away with it.”
a bored expression was seen on sylus’s face when he rips apart the papers, allowing it to scatter across the dance floor before leading you out of the bar as several guns were pointed at the man, “the deal’s off, because no one tries to take my woman away from me and gets away with it.”
both men were practically trembling, mumbling out excuses as they were close to wetting themselves. a wave of empathy washes through you, and you end up placing a hand on sylus’s shoulder.
“wait, sylus, don’t do something so drastic. if you go through with this, it’ll ruin the reputation of this bar- of your business.”
your boyfriend lets out a scoff, as if annoyed that you would dare to defy him. but he sees the pleading look in your eyes and sighs. with a snap of his fingers, his men stop pointing their guns at the father and son duo.
“you’re lucky my woman is so forgiving.” sylus calls back to the men, keeping you kept tightly in his embrace before gesturing at his men to toss them out of his bar, “i suppose you’ll both get to live another day since i’m in such a good mood now.”
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when zayne spoke about attending a conference that akso hospital was hosting, you quickly took him up on his offer of being his plus one.
throughout the night, you enjoyed all the foods the catering had provided for the occasion, taking sips of your wine while zayne kept a polite grip on your waistline. he was always attentive to your needs, not complaining at all when you asked him to get you a serving of some type of food or pieces of fruit you had been craving for.
from greeting his colleagues and even saying hello to yvonne and dr. greyson, you make small talk with them, with zayne remaining glued to your side as a tiny smile graces his handsome features. suddenly, a deep voice was heard calling by out to zayne.
“dr. zayne, would you mind sharing a bit of your time with me? there’s some matters i would like to discuss with you.” you look back to see an older man with salt and pepper hair calling out to zayne.
“i’ll be back shortly.” zayne takes a hold of your empty plate and cup, tossing it into one of the trash bins before coming closer to the man. as you smile back at zayne, yvonne and dr. greyson both began giving you knowing grins.
“god, it must be so nice to have dr. zayne wrapped so tightly around your finger like that.” yvonne sighs while stepping closer to you.
“truly, i’ve never seen such a respectable man turn into putty within mere seconds.” dr. greyson states all while pushing up his glasses.
you end up flushing a bit in embarrassment. “guys, it’s not like that. he’s just… a really good friend of mine.”
“hehe, friend? oh sure… but let me tell you… i’ve never seen mere friends look at you the same way dr. zayne does to you.”
the heat seems to deepen upon hearing yvonne and dr. greyson’s teasing words, yet before you could even defend yourself, they were both called by yet another colleague. “ah, we have to go and attend this conference.”
“but do tell us what happens next when dr. zayne returns!”
with both of them rushing to get to the conference on time, you were left alone, letting out a sigh as you searched the area for any signs of zayne. after spending several minutes walking around the area, trying to catch any sight of him, you gave up and let out another sigh.
resting your back against the wall, you began fingering the snowflake bracelet zayne had given you for your last birthday. seeing the light catching rainbows from beneath the tiny diamonds, you couldn’t help but admire its beauty.
ever since zayne had gifted you something so precious, you had never once taken off this bracelet (aside from the times you needed to shower). it was something that always made your heart flutter with happiness each time you admired it. while looking at the precious gift, you couldn’t help but wonder if there was some truth to yvonne and dr. greyson’s words.
“my, what’s a lovely woman like you doing here all alone?”
you were suddenly ripped away from your reveries, eyes meeting with a tall and handsome doctor that had blond hair slicked back into a neat style. his green eyes shone with amusement, looking down at you with an almost predatory gaze. you look away from him, hiding your precious bracelet behind your back.
“i’m just waiting for someone.” you stiffly tell him, hoping that he couldn’t sense your discomfort.
“oh? is it a boyfriend?”
you keep your lips sealed shut, refusing to answer his question as a chuckle fills your ears. “my apologies, of course you would be closed off from me since i haven’t even properly introduced myself to you. the name is dr. jones, and i work in the cosmetic surgery department.”
you visibly stiffen when dr. jones places a hand on your shoulder, “now, i’ve dealt with my fair share of women who wish to change themselves all in the name of beauty- but i must say, your natural beauty is utterly captivating to me. i see no reason to change a single thing about you.”
“so please, won’t you tell me your name?”
“she’s mine.”
your heart began beating faster, hearing the tranquil voice of zayne coming closer you. his eyes were glimmering with unbidden anger for the blond doctor, standing in front of you while acting as a protective shield between you and him.
“dr. zayne, it is an honor to be in your presence.” dr. jones admits tightly, clearly upset that you were already spoken for-
yet you couldn’t bring yourself to care about the other doctor’s reaction-
since all you could think about were zayne’s prior words.
she’s mine she’s mine she’s mine…
zayne gives dr. jones a stiff nod before wrapping both arms around you, “if you’ll excuse us.”
not even giving him a chance to answer, zayne walks away with you, keeping his arms wrapped tightly around you. looking back at him, he appeared so taut with anger, making you shiver as you apologized to him. “i’m sorry, i was looking for you, but then he approached me and-“
but zayne cuts you off, managing to lead you in a secluded area as he pins you against the wall, kissing you fully against your lips. your heart was felt skipping its beats in response when you finally kissed him back, seeming to melt against him.
no words were spoken when zayne kept kissing you, swallowing each and every moans of your delight as you finally relished in your mutual yearnings for each other.
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xavier finally had a day off from missions and asked if you’d like to go out to dinner with him. and of course, being his girlfriend and all, you accepted.
you were eager to walk with him to the restaurant, with xavier calmly greeting the host as he tells her his name. she gives him a wide smile, taking two menus with her before leading you to a more intimate space near the back of the restaurant.
once you were seated at your table, you both look at the menu and decide what you wanted to order. as you searched through the menu, you became aware of how xavier’s converses were felt gently caressing at your bottom leg, making you giggle at his sudden playfulness. you return his affectionate gestures by placing the tip of your ballet flats against the side of his jeans, running up and down the expanse of it with your own, victorious smile.
xavier gives you a smirk, leaning across the table to give your lips a quick kiss before sitting back down just as the waiter appears.
“hello, my name is james and i’ll be your server today.” the waiter was a young man of average height, and just as he takes out his writing pad, he catches sight of you and does a double take.
his freckles seem even more prominent the moment his face flushes red at the mere sight of you. the sudden change in his demeanor makes you tilt your head in response, and xavier wasn’t too happy with the events that were unfolding.
“excuse me, but if you can stop drooling over my girlfriend, we’d like to order.” xavier’s voice cuts through the air, making the waiter’s eyes narrow in annoyance.
“r-right… sorry, what all would you like to have?”
you tell james each of your orders, and once you were done, you notice the way james’ gaze lingers on you for a few more seconds before he leaves the table. looking back at your boyfriend, you began to giggle, seeing the grumpy expression on his face while he remained seated with his arms crossed over his chest.
“oh, come on, xavier. the poor guy was really young, and i’m sure it’s just a harmless crush.”
“tch, it was not a harmless crush. that jerk looked like he wanted to whisk you away from beneath my nose. i don’t like it, lets eat out someplace else.”
“hey, don’t be silly! we are not wasting your reservation just because you’re a little jealous.” you giggle all while leaning forward, taking his hands in yours. “and besides, we both know that you’re the only man for me.”
“that better not change.” your smile widens when you manage to get xavier to smirk back at you, blue eyes filled with confidence once more. once james delivers your food, you did your best to ignore the waiter for xavier’s sake.
for the next hour or so, things went smoothly, with you and xavier enjoying your dinner as you shared your food with each other. once all the plates were cleaned and your respective drinks completely drained, you wait for james to return with the bill all while speaking to each other in soft whispers, so caught up in your own little world that you didn’t notice the plate of a decadent looking chocolate cake appearing before you along with the bill.
you look at the plate of cake, then back up at james. “oh, we didn’t order this.”
“n-no worries, it’s on the house.” james admits to you with a bit of a dreamy sigh, making this the last straw for xavier.
you watch your boyfriend stand from his seat, taking the bill before reaching over to grab at the plate of cake. with lightning fast reflexes, he smashes the cake into james’ face. “she said we didn’t order this, so you can take it back.”
your eyes go wide upon witnessing xavier’s actions firsthand, in a bit of a shocked daze when he takes a hold of your hand and leads you away from the table, leaving james a sputtering mess as he removes the plate away from his face and spits out the bits of cake. “come on, i’ll pay our bill up front.”
after processing what had happened for a few minutes, you came to your senses just moments later, “xavier! what was that about?! that was-“
your boyfriend manages to cut you off by placing a searing kiss against your lips. the sudden kiss manages to make your knees buckle from below you, since you had never felt such a passionate kiss coming from xavier before. in all of your two years of dating, xavier always managed to keep his cool.
yet now, his kisses were so deep that it rendered you speechless. it felt like he was pouring the entirety of his heart and soul into it, acting like he wanted to swallow you whole and claim you all for himself.
when the need for air proved to be too much, xavier was the first to pull away from you, his eyes appearing dilated as he rests his forehead against yours, “i’m sorry, but i won’t ever tolerate a man that dares to look at you like that-
no one will ever love you like i do, and it’s only reasonable that i punished him for daring to look at what’s always been mine.”
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you were filled with pride, watching all of rafayel’s art put on display as you attended his first ever exhibit. since your beloved boyfriend was so excited to talk about his passion for art with other people, you gave him some space and simply decided to admire his works displayed throughout the building on your own.
with a glass of wine in your hands, you stop in front of a massive painting that depicted a gorgeous city hidden beneath the ocean waters. your eyes became mesmerized by the gentle lighting and the way it cast rainbows across the various castles.
truly, rafayel had a talent for capturing each scene in such a captivating manner, his paintings appearing like illustrations that came straight from a fairytale novel.
as you attempt to burn rafayel’s latest masterpiece into your very memories, you became aware of a tall figure that stood next to you. you trail your eyes, only to see a man around your age staring down at you.
“now, i know that this is an exhibit that exists to celebrate a young prodigy’s work, but can i just say, seeing you wandering so aimlessly around has me utterly mesmerized, for you are by far the fairest piece of them all.”
a shudder of disgust courses through you, filling you with a strange sense of dread the more this strange man attempted to hit on you.
“i’m sorry, but this fairest piece of them all has already been taken.” you attempt to turn away from him, but the man seemed relentless in his pursuit of you. he ends up blocking you from the front, arms already outspread to prevent you from stepping off to the side.
“oh, stop making excuses to try and avoid me. if you were taken, then what sane man would even dare to leave you all alone like this?”
he grabs a hold of your wrist, tightening his large hands over it as you winced, knowing that a bruise would form, “let go! you’re hurting me!”
suddenly, you were ripped away from that rude man, now being safely tucked within the arms of your beloved lover. “she’s taken by me, and if you don’t wish for me to cause a scene, i suggest you leave.”
rafayel’s voice had taken on a deeper tone you had never once heard before. ever since you got together with him, he had always been your cheerful and goofy boyfriend- one that was full of bright smiles and sweet laughter…
yet the rafayel that was currently protecting you held none of those soft traits. his eyebrows were knitted together in annoyance, placing both arms protectively around your front as he kept your back pressed deeply against his chest. the man was about to make another move, having every intention to rip you away from rafayel’s arms when he grabs your wine glass and throws the rest of your wine into his eyes.
the man falls to his knees, feeling the alcohol stinging at his eyes as rafayel calls the guards over. “take this man away from the premises. he’s been ruining my exhibition for far too long.”
not even bothering to stick around, rafayel takes you away and into one of the conference rooms. you feel the way he was trembling when he locks the door, making you reach out to try and comfort him.
“rafe-“
he suddenly cuts you off with a kiss, facing you within mere seconds as his trembling hands gently frame at your face. you eagerly return his kiss, slotting your lips against his in a fervent kiss that takes both of your breaths away.
within minutes, rafayel was the first to pull away, showing you his pout for a brief second before he hides his face within the curve of your neck. “how dare he hit on you and pull on your wrist like that? ugh, he deserved more than just some wine to his face. maybe i should have used my evol on him?”
hearing the slight whine in his voice makes you giggle, wrapping your arms around your beloved artist before pressing a kiss against his soft strands of hair. “don’t be silly, you don’t need to waste your powers on him.”
you listen as rafayel grumbles once more, making you grin as you gently remove his face from the curve of your neck. framing his defined cheeks with your two hands, you admire his pout for another moment before leaning forward, pressing a kiss against his pouty lips while basking in his sighs.
and thanks to your kisses alone, rafayel stopped his pouting and forgot all about the anger he felt for the man who dared to take you away from him…
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end notes: jealous lads men are so 😭🙌🏻🥰 currently unedited, but i’ll make any changes once this is posted.
all stories are written by rei; please do not repost, plagiarize, or translate my works!!
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citricacidprince · 4 months ago
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Thinking about a Dungeon Meshi swap AU where Laios is eaten instead of Falin
I think everything is relatively the same in the terms of party members. Chilchuck would stay, not for Falin, but for Laios cause he and the blond are actually close and he wouldn’t say it out loud but he’s worried about him and no I won’t take criticism. Marcille would stay, definitely for Falin but she’s worried about that weird guy in her own way. Namari would still leave and wish Falin the best. The only difference is that Shuro would definitely come this time if it was Falin who asked, however he’d probably tell her to go on ahead without him so he can get a bigger team to help and meet her down there. Senshi, of course, still joins the group.
There are a lot of little things that would change but I have such a specific scene in my brain that won’t leave.
In the swap version of the scene where Chimera Falin fucks everyone up and then run off, Falin watches as her now monsterfied and wounded brother flee, tears in her eyes as she attempts to stop herself from crying but can’t. Marcille, immediately assuming that she’s crying about Laios, tries to comfort her by saying they’re going to find a way to revert this, even if at the time she’s just saying an empty promise to make Falin feel better since she has no clue on how to fix Laios either.
But that’s not why Falin is crying.
During the fight she watched her brother very closely, the way he moved, the way he analyzed each person who came close, the way his eyes softened and he gently smiled when he recognized her for just a moment before turning back into a beast. A gut wrenching realization ran through her head the more she watched him and it got even louder when he fled.
She realized that when her brother appeared as that chimera, that monster, his yellow eyes shined bright in the dark and his toothy grin could be seen for miles, and the grin barely faded even during the battle.
Falin has never seen her brother so unapologetically happy in her entire life.
It was like he was made to be a monster.
She wondered if it would be cruel to turn him human again, a horrid thought that she might be ripping him away from what was assumedly his dream come true. Who gave her the right to ruin her brothers happiness when she knows Laios would do everything in his power to make sure his little sister was happy.
She quickly shook away the thought. She had to save her brother. She had to.
But no matter how much deeper they traveled that small persistent thought stayed in her brain, trying to make her doubt the rescue and convince her that, while he wouldn’t tell her outright, Laios would grow to despise her for turning him back a tallman when being a monster was so freeing and easy.
Falin knows in her heart that her brother could never hate her and it was just her stressed and anxious thoughts getting the best of her, but it doesn’t stop those fears from manifesting in her nightmares.
Ignore me I’m running on 2 hours of sleep and I’m loosing my mind slightly
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venus-haze · 20 days ago
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Sick as a Dog (Soldier Boy x Reader)
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Summary: Day 25 - Underwear stealing/sniffing. Soldier Boy is America's first superhero. The greatest man who ever lived. Larger than life itself. A sleazy chauvinist who's getting off on your panties in a motel bathroom. [AO3 link]
Note: Written for @cozycornerevents Kinktober! Female reader, but no other descriptors are used. I think this is my first Soldier Boy fic set in modern day…anyway it was fun writing mean and gross Soldier Boy🤭
Word count: 1k
Warnings: Soldier Boy-typical misogyny. Sexually explicit content involving masturbation, panty stealing/sniffing, degradation, voyeurism.
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You couldn’t relax around Soldier Boy, not when Butcher and Hughie left you alone with him in that damn motel room. It was almost impossible to focus on the TV with him so blatantly eyeing you like a piece of meat. Tried to do the arm-over-the-shoulder move so he could grope your breast, and called you a prude under his breath when you scooted further down the couch. 
Sure, he was attractive, but you weren’t about to mix business with pleasure—especially not with a guy who, when introduced to you, asked Butcher if they only kept you around as “stress relief,” as if you weren’t even standing in front of him. Maybe you should have gone with MM and Annie after all.
“I gotta use the can,” he grumbled, scratching his crotch before standing up from the couch.
The tension slowly released from your body the further away he got from you. Picking up your phone from the coffee table, you saw a missed text from Hughie: Sorry to leave you on supe-sitting duty. Everything good?
You sighed, your thumbs hovering over the keys before sending back: Yeah. Nothing I can’t handle.
Threw in an emoji at the end so he wouldn’t feel too bad. It was kind of your own fault, anyway. You decided to go along with Butcher and Hughie because part of you still naively believed in Soldier Boy’s heroism, his authenticity. And then you actually met him. Heard the shockingly crass way he talked, a relic of a time you had no interest in reliving.
You were just about to text Annie when you heard it.
A name. Your name. Low and gruff and mean coming from his mouth.
Putting your phone down, you glanced in the direction of the bathroom. 
You knew your best option was to just ignore it when you heard him say your name again—turn up the volume on the TV and ignore the way heat flared up between your legs at the grunts he didn’t even try to keep down. Instead, you stood up, your heart beating faster with each step you took. The motel room wasn’t all that big, didn’t take very long at all to get to the bathroom door, look in where he’d left it open a crack. 
Had he been careless? Or did he want you to watch?  
You gaped openly at him, pumping his hard cock with a pair of your used panties bunched up in his hand, sliding it up and down his length. Black, satin with a little bow, it was one of your favorite pairs you brought with you, too, and you weren’t sure how to feel about him having chosen that one to get off with, to ruin. You looked back at your duffel bag, wide open and clearly rifled through. Supposed you were trying too hard not to pay attention to him to pay any mind to his violating your privacy.
“That’s right, take it, you fucking slut,” he growled. “You might not be their stress relief, but you’re gonna be mine.”
How the hell was this the same guy whose PSAs you watched throughout your school years, telling you to pledge allegiance to the flag and say no to drugs? He was sick, hypocritical, a symbol of the worst of American debauchery. Every subsequent word that came out of his mouth was vile, objectifying—should’ve repulsed you instead of going straight to your pussy. Your brain was screaming at you to go back to the couch and pretend you didn’t see anything, but you couldn’t tear your eyes away from him.
“I’ll make sure you can’t fucking walk tomorrow, have to carry you over my shoulder and tell everyone what a slut you are for my cock.”
Your breath caught in your throat. He squeezed his cock harder, his pumps more punishing, frustration radiating off of him as his precum soaked through your ruined panties. Could you even bear to wear them again, knowing all the things he said and did with them bunched up in his hand, picturing you in their place, bent over the motel room sink, or anywhere else he could think of in that deviant mind of his.
“How bad do you want it? C’mon, I wanna hear you beg.”
“Please,” you whispered despite yourself.
“I know you’re out there,” he taunted, startling you. “I can hear you panting like a bitch in heat. Why don’t you come in and give me a hand?”
With a gasp, you found your legs again and ran back to the living area. Fell over yourself to get onto the couch and make the TV louder, anything to drown out the sound of his groans, your name mixed with curses as he came just a few feet away. 
Your face was on fire, and you sat with your hands folded between your legs, trying desperately to ignore the want that had overtaken you while watching him. You were better than that, better than debasing yourself for someone like him. Still, a shiver ran down your spine when you heard a gruff, drawn out “Fuck” over the sound of the stupid Vought A Burger commercial that was on.
The sink ran. Toilet flushed. Your head was pounding when he walked out of the bathroom and back to the couch. 
“Thanks, sweetheart,” he said, throwing your panties at you.
The balled up garment landed on your lap, wet and heavy with his cum. With a reluctant, trembling hand, you pushed it onto the floor.
Your voice cracked as you half-heartedly told him, “You’re disgusting.”
He scoffed, his arm draped across the back of the couch, the tips of his fingers brushing your shoulder. “You should take it as a compliment. There’s plenty of other broads I could’ve jacked off to—Hayworth, Bardot, Fawcett—”
“But none of them had their panties lying around here, did they?”
“No, they didn’t.” He was silent for a moment before breaking into a grin. “I’m gonna get you to fold sooner or later. Then, I’m really gonna make you beg for it.”
“Don’t bet on it,” you mumbled.
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luveline · 1 year ago
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Hi lovely!
Can you please do one where Hotch and Reader are in a fight and it gets heated and he maybe raises his hand just because he’s shouting and she flinches?
He would be prepared to FIGHT whoever made his honey feel that way 🗣️🗣️
💘
for you my sweetheart. fem, 1k
cw implied past domestic violence 
“It was right,” you're saying, on the defensive, your voice molten, “it was the thing to do!” 
“It wasn't.” Hotch closes the door. “It wasn't the right thing to do, it wasn't even close.” 
You realise, under everything, that he's right, but you couldn't help yourself, you had to try and save the day, had to swerve the SUV. Plus, he's done it himself, and you both know that. “If Monikie got out of that exit we never would've seen her again.” 
“There were roadblocks on the I–46, and I don't think I have to tell you that you could've gotten a lot of people seriously hurt–” 
“You've done worse,” you deny.
His expression, broadly furious, narrows into something sharper, “And that is my decision to make, but you report to me.” 
“You can't seriously want to act like a boss now,” you say. 
The room isn't overly large, and so you stand close to one another with no need for shouting, but your voices begin to overlap. Hotch is so angry. It isn't like him to yell at you, his voice strained. 
“You can't truly think that the decision you made today was the right one. You need to calm down, and you need to listen to me when I tell you that this was the wrong move. We'll talk about it more tomorrow.” 
“You're shrugging me off?” You could laugh. “You can't be serious. Every member of this team has done the same, or worse–” 
“But they're not you!” His voice peeks, his hand jolting out in front of his chest, flat-palmed in incredulity. 
You're really quite close to each other. 
It's not his fault. 
You step back, desperate to be away from the movement, the hand, because it doesn't register as his hand, only there's a chair behind you and a table behind that and you bump into the plastic with a creak and screech. You're righting yourself as quickly as you're tripping but Hotch is already moving away. Three steps that feel like a gorge. 
Your heartbeat soars. 
“Are you okay?” he asks quietly. 
“Of course.” You breathe out funny. It's not his fault, but there's something wired in your brain now, and it knows that the first strike isn't the last. Your hand shakes as you brush at an itch under your eyes. 
“I'm not mad,” he says. 
“You sounded pretty mad."
“I've changed my mind.” He gives you a long hard look, and then he moves to the office door to open it before returning to his initial position. He's given you an exit route. “I'm not going to hurt you,” he says. 
You put your hands on your hips and bend at the waist, breathing out hard. “Fuck, I know that."
“You thought I might.” 
“So profile me,” you say, panicking still, face hot and itchy all over. “Tell me why.” 
“Someone's hit you before. Enough to anticipate the second blow.” 
“But you knew that already, didn't you?” 
Your ears get cloudy like there's water in them and you can't stand the feeling of Hotch's gaze on the back of your head. You force yourself into a standing position and try to ignore what happened. 
“You're unfairly angry with me,” you say. 
Hotch just shakes his head at you. 
“It's… It's not a big deal,” you say, quieter. He already knew because of course he did, every member of the team gets checked. You have records, and he's in a position of power unlike most, he could've read them like the morning paper. 
“Why would you say that?” 
“I can still do my job.” 
“I wasn't going to suggest you couldn't.” 
Then why… why is he looking at you like that? You're humiliated enough, and his gaze is so… so soft. So sorry. Tears gather warm behind your eyes and your chest aches like you've been holding your breath. You frown, eyebrows lifting at the starts, not knowing if you should beg him to forget the whole thing or finally give in. 
“Come here,” he says gently. Completely optional, his fingertips twitching but stationery at his side. 
You stare resolutely at your shoes. 
“I'm sorry I scared you, it wasn't my intention. I can imagine how it feels. I'm not mad, honey,” he says. His voice drops to a murmur, “Come here,” he pleads. 
You take a clumsy handful of steps and he meets you in the middle, arms going carefully over your shoulders. You'd feel condescended by it if it weren't shockingly nice to be considered in such a way, or if the solid mass of his arms around you didn't soothe. You feel protected rather than boxed in, held, and not restrained. 
His hand slides open down the length of your back.
“I'm sorry I scared you,” he repeats, for your ears alone. 
“It's not like it was really you that scared me.” 
The memory scared you. The flinch was instinctive, less to do with Hotch and more to do with the connection between a moving hand and stinging pain. 
He hangs his head by your ear until his nose touches your shoulder, and for a few seconds, it's just you and him together, no fighting, and no fast-approaching hands. 
“You didn't scare me,” you mumble, hiding your face in his shoulder instead, forcing him to stand tall. 
Incoming footsteps cut your embrace short, but he doesn't pull away too swiftly. His hands grave the lengths of your arms, and he gives you a long, loaded look. Before you can calibrate the action to the man, he's chucking you under the chin, a stroke of his index knuckle, a promise of more to say. 
He catches Morgan before he can enter the room and directs him back out. “Take a minute,” he advises you. 
You sit in a chair and do as he's offered. Memory is a tricky thing. 
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ashwhowrites · 3 months ago
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eddie x reader, where reader isn’t necessarily popular but she gets along with everyone and is friends with everyone, and eddie is his dorky self, but him and reader start hanging out more and there’s rumors that him and reader are hooking up but they’re not they’re just friends, but eddie realizes these rumors are making him more popular so he doesn’t try to nip them in the bud but the rumors are causing issues for the reader, if u can make it end nice and fluffy id appreciate it, hope this makes sense
I hope this is what you wanted and you enjoy it. Thank you for requesting 🫶🏻
Rumor has it
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Y/N doesn't consider herself popular; she is just someone who can hold a conversation with anyone. Which is why no one questioned why she started talking to Eddie.
Eddie knew he was not popular, and he was fine with that. He also didn't see Y/N as popular, and he thinks that was why he loved being around her. She was the only person that was nice and honest.
But since most people knew her, people talked about her. All it took was one wrong person to see them together and start the rumor that they were sleeping together.
The rumor impacted them differently. Eddie was congratulated and got his name on the map. Boys high-fived him in hallways and girls became interested in him. Eddie didn't understand why "sleeping" with Y/N would be the talk of this school, but he enjoyed the attention he got.
It was the opposite for Y/N. Boys began hitting on her now that she had given it up. No matter how many times she said no and that nothing happened with Eddie, no one believed her. She didn't like being seen as someone boys wanted to hook up with. She missed when they were polite and friends with her. But now all they wanted was the same treatment Eddie got.
Y/N sighed as she got in Eddie's van. She ignored the eyes of everyone watching as they drove out of the parking lot.
"I like your top today, by the way, baby," Eddie said, shooting her a smile as he focused on the road.
Y/N felt her face burn and a smile appeared on her face. She muttered a small thank you. But cheered loudly in her head. The more she spent tutoring Eddie, the more she liked him. She wanted his attention and his compliments.
She bought a few new shirts. Some tight and a little low cut to show off her body. She loved the way his eyes never left her when she was near. She was happy that her new clothes seemed to be doing just what she wanted.
~
"Can we be done now? My brain is going to explode," Eddie whined, throwing his head back.
"Yes, we can be done," Y/N laughed as she closed the book.
"Good because I would rather be doing this," he said, then she felt her body being shifted onto his. She bit her lip as she sat in his lap, hoping he couldn't hear how fast her heart was beating. He leaned in and softly pressed his lips against hers. It wasn't their first kiss, but it made her stomach flutter just the same.
He pulled back and moved his lips down to her neck, loving the way she shuddered.
"This perfume I think is my favorite so far," he muttered against her skin. She moaned as he bit her neck, she would definitely wear this perfume every day.
~~~
"I saw Y/N left school with you yesterday," Jason said as he nudged Eddie with a wink.
"Yeah, we went back to my place," Eddie said, his words were honest but his smirk left a lot to the imagination
"Never would have thought sweet Y/N would get down and dirty with the freak of Hawkins," Jason chuckled as he walked away.
Yeah, the rumor even got bullies off Eddie's back. It was like he was living a dream.
~
"Can you believe she finally lost her virginity? I heard it was in the bar bathroom after Eddie's set. So trashy" a girl snickered as Y/N walked by in the halls.
Y/N ignored her words, sadly getting used to it ever since the stupid rumor started. She denied it over and over, yet no one seemed to believe her. She wasn't understanding why everyone truly believed it happened when they had no evidence at all.
Well until she finally saw it with her eyes.
"I think I brought her home maybe like midnight?" Eddie laughed as he shrugged, a group of boys surrounding him.
Y/N stopped walking, trying to remain unseen as she listened.
"Is she good?" a random voice asked
"Amazing," Eddie replied
"Y/N freaky? Is that why she picked you? Does she like it rough and dirty or something?" another voice asked
Y/N froze as she realized they were talking about the rumor. She waited anxiously for Eddie to respond
"I don't want to share all our details, but she can tire a guy out," he said, she scoffed at his proud smirk and the way the guys cheered.
She thought Eddie would have been different, but he was just as pathetic as the rest of the boys in the school.
"Oh? How so?" she spoke up, her voice catching all their attention.
Eddie went pale as she came into view, the boys looked between them.
"Maybe you can show me tomorrow night, gorgeous," a boy said, throwing her a wink
She cringed and felt uncomfortable under his stare. His words sent jealousy straight through Eddie. Eddie snapped to look at him with heat in his eyes.
"She's not interested," Eddie said as he butted in
"I think I've had enough of you speaking for me" she snapped, her attention on Eddie. "Maybe I should tell these guys exactly what has been going on between us."
"We already know you opened your legs the same night you met him. We all know you are a whore" the boys snickered as Y/N felt the blow of the words.
"Don't call her that. She is not a whore." Eddie demanded, shoving whoever said it against the lockers
"How is she not? She's all snobby and a stuck-up good girl, now she lost her virginity and makes you go for rounds and rounds. She started wearing more revealing clothes and wearing a new perfume. She wants the attention, she loves it."
Eddie gulped as he slowly turned around to face her. His heart dropped when the tears were already falling down her face. She looked horrified and sick.
"You-you are a virgin?" Eddie stuttered, the guilt was already in his bones but now he felt like he couldn't breathe. The regret and guilt piled on his chest.
Y/N felt her face burn in embarrassment and ran off before anyone could say another thing.
"Shit!" Eddie cussed to himself and ran after her. She was quick but he was faster. She barely made it out the door when he caught her arm. The door closed behind them as they stood at the front of the school.
"Y/N I am so sorry," Eddie said as he turned her around. Her cheeks were wet with tears as she cried.
"Bullshit, Eddie," she scoffed as she wiped her cheeks, "You loved every second of your fake story. I mean I am so stupid for thinking you were different."
"I know, I fucked up. I didn't know people were saying those types of things about you. I'm sorry for being an asshole. I got clouded by all the attention it gave me, and I didn't think to ask why it was such a big deal to everyone and I'm so fucking sorry," he pleaded
"Yeah, it is a big deal! Especially to me. I was shamed for never liking a boy enough to have sex with, then I'm shamed for having sex with you. Which was a rumor, and a rumor you could have shut down with a simple explanation. But no, you wanted to seem cool from all the jocks and enjoy all the attention from girls who never looked your way otherwise. I am sick and tired of being shamed, and it hurts a whole lot more knowing it's because of you."
"Because of me?" Eddie asked, "Why?"
"Because I fucking like you!" she exclaimed, covering her mouth once she realized what she said. Eddie felt his eyes widen.
"I didn't know," he said quietly
"Why would you?" she scoffed, "I forgot that I'm just a plaything in the eyes of boys. Just a good whore."
"You are way more than that," Eddie defended, "Don't talk that way about yourself. You mean way more to me than a plaything."
"But didn't mean enough to protect?" She argued
"I didn't know you were a virgin! I didn't know that a rumor of us sleeping together would do any of this. If I could take it back I would. I like you and I liked knowing that people thought we were together" Eddie tried to defend
"I-I just don't know if I believe you. I think you like how people view you because of me."
"I would have never kissed you if I didn't have feelings for you," Eddie fought, rushing to move his hands on her face. "I wouldn't have noticed new clothes and new perfumes. I'll clear everything up and I'll kick anyone's ass that speaks about you. But please believe me when I say I'm sorry and that I like you."
"I need time," she said softly, he sighed sadly as she removed his hands and walked away.
~~~
The next day at lunch Eddie got on the tables and cleared everything up. He demanded people apologize for the way they treated Y/N and threatened anyone who had the nerve to say anything about her again.
Y/N appreciated he stood to his word and cleared the air. People did apologize but she didn't bother to forgive them. They didn't deserve her forgiveness, and she wanted this situation under the bridge.
A few days passed and Y/N was relieved that everyone moved on. She wasn't as popular anymore, given that she hated everyone and didn't bother to talk to anyone. She was nice to everyone and it got her stabbed in the back.
And for the boys who still decided to speak to her, Eddie handled for her.
"Now that you and Freak called it quits. What if I show you a good time?"
Y/N didn't have time to say anything when Eddie had the boy slammed against the lockers and a huge right hook against his face.
"I thought I made it clear that no one talks about my girl like that."
She wasn't Eddie's girl but the sound of him saying it made her heart race.
A full month passed and Y/N was starting to miss Eddie. She still tutored him, but no more breaks to make out. She kept them focused on school and she went home the second they were done.
She couldn't let herself be weak around him because then she'd be around his finger all over again. She hoped her feelings would disappear within time, but it seemed to still take over her world.
"Alright, think we are done!" Y/N cheered as she closed the textbook. "You should ace this test tomorrow, no excuses."
Eddie smiled as she pointed a finger in his face
"What do you think I'll get?" he asked
"A C plus, but I have faith you could score a B."
"Does the offer still stand if I get my first A?" he asked, chewing on his bottom lip as he nervously waited.
Y/N sighed to herself. She wanted to smack her past self for making the deal
"If I ever get an A, can I ask you to be my girlfriend?" Eddie asked, they both knew he was joking by the way he smiled and laughed
"You just met me! How do you know you want me to be your girlfriend?" she teased
"Because I've never seen anyone more beautiful"
He looked at her as she thought about it in her head.
"I guess we'll see if you get an A," she said, smiling sadly as she got up.
"I'm not going to stop until I get that A, sweetheart," he said with a smile, watching as she made her way out of his trailer. She looked over her shoulder and let out a small laugh.
It was a small moment, but Eddie thought about it all night.
~~~
Eddie knew he would never score an A, the best he could get was a B. But he refused to lose his only shot to win her back. It was wrong, but he didn't care.
He shifted his eyes to look at his neighbor's paper. It was a smart kid who always scored high, so Eddie was confident he was cheating off the right paper.
He answered all the questions he knew and cheated on the ones he had no slight idea of.
He turned his paper in with his fingers crossed and walked out.
The next day he rushed into class, tapping the table as he waited for the teacher to pass him his test.
~
Y/N was at her locker when she felt her body being turned around and familiar lips placed on hers. Her body gave in before her brain could fight it. Her lips moved with Eddie's as she tasted his mint gum, his hands on her body sent shivers down her spine.
Once she regained control she was quick to pull away
"What the hell are you doing?" she hissed as she touched her lips
"Celebrating my big A with my soon-to-be girlfriend," Eddie said with a proud smirk. He held up the test, a huge A written on the top.
"No way," she gasped, grabbing the test. She looked over his answers, all proving the test was correctly examined.
"What do you say? Can we give this a real shot? I promise not to be an idiot with your feelings this time." He promised as he bounced anxiously on his feet
"I still don't know Eddie," she sighed as she handed him the test
"Just a date, one night and we can take it from there?" Eddie asked
"Alright, fine. One date and we go from there," Y/N said. She watched Eddie's face lit up and a huge smile covered him.
"Yes! Thank you!" He cheered, kissing her cheek wet before he raced down the hallway.
His excitement made her smile, maybe a date wouldn't be horrible.
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spicyspiders · 3 months ago
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I could give you a request if that’s inspiration for a Wolverine/Deadpool threesome - but feel free to ignore if it’s not your thing :)
I could imagine reader being an assassin, getting the objective to kill Wade (without knowing it’s impossible) and y’know, failing miserably. Ending up sandwiched between Wade and Logan, Wade wanting to know who sent him, and then getting rewarded for being such a good boy and telling.
Warning for sex pollen, double penetration, and one instance of Deadpool breaking the fourth wall.
“You look pretty withering in pain like that,” Deadpool said, one of his guns trained to your forehead. 
The man beside him looked at him with his brows drawn in disgust, his arms crossed over his chest. 
You looked up and stole a glance at the man just in time for his eyes to slowly look you over, the intensity of his gaze making you shiver. 
“What?” Deadpool asked, “have you seen the way that suit fits him?” He asked the man. 
“They didn’t tell me there would be two of you,” you said through gritted teeth, your eyes trained back on the floor. Maybe if you stared at it long enough, it would open and swallow you up. 
“This is my partner, Wolverine,” Deadpool said, his voice full of fondness even as he waved the gun pointed at you at the man. 
“Partner? How inclusive,” you said with an eye roll. 
“Business partner,” Wolverine clarified, making Deadpool gasp and pull his other hand to his heart. 
“We share the same bed,” Deadpool told you. 
“Shared! It was one time when,” Wolverine paused, “we fell asleep in a car,” he clarified again. 
“That hurts,” Deadpool said, putting his gun back in the holster, “just like you are now,” he said, kneeling down to the chair he tied your hands behind your back in. “It sure looks like it does,” he said quietly, his head moving down slowly as he looked over your sweaty, disheveled appearance. 
“They said it would kill you,” you whispered. 
“Who said it would kill me?” He asked,
You didn’t know why your mouth couldn’t form the words to tell them the name of the people you work for. Well, worked for. Just minutes before you were tied up, you were yelling into your phone at them, and then they fucking fired you for their fuck up. 
You felt it in your gut when they contacted you with the contract that only told you all you had to do was administer the poison and that it would do the rest, you should have turned it down.
“You didn’t tell me he couldn’t fucking die,” you yelled into your phone before Deadpool had shot it away. Maybe it had to do with the poison, you weren’t sure. You sure felt angry enough to spill who it was, but maybe it was because you were too focused on how when it had gotten on just the small sliver of skin that it did, your body lit up in a mix of pain and arousal. 
The feelings battled each other out all throughout your body, but one overshadowed the other when Deadpool ran a gloved hand over your crotch. Your head fell over the back of the chair and your mouth fell open as you let out a moan louder than you expected. 
“How about this,” Deadpool began, his hand tightening over the bulge that was your hard cock, “you tell me who sent you and we all go kill them together. After we fuck your brains out, of course.”
“We?” Wolverine asked.
“Then you kill me after they’re dead?” You asked, trying not to thrust your hips into Deadpool’s hand. 
“You lasted longer on this stuff than I expected, we could use you,” Deadpool answered. 
“For what?” You questioned, groaning as one of Deadpool’s fingers traced along the print of your cock through your suit. 
“Right now?” Deadpool asked, “to cum,” he said, giggling at his own joke, “but after that, you can join my strike team,” he said, already sounding excited. 
“What is that, a bowling league?” You asked. 
Deadpool doubled over in laughter, his head hovering right over your crotch. “I like a man that can make me laugh,” he said, wiping away an imaginary tear over his mask. “You better say yes to me fucking you because I’m as hard as the bowling balls that we’re going to use in our strike team slash bowling league,” Dead said as he stood up. 
“I’m sorry,” Wolverine interrupted, “we?” He asked again. 
“C’mon, Logan,” Deadpool said, turning to face the man, “you were definitely looking at his ass when I sat him down in this chair before I tied him up.”
“I just,” Wolverine– Logan cleared his throat before continuing, “didn’t want you to be too rough and break the chair,” he said, looking everywhere but except in the direction of the two of you. 
“Aww!” Deadpool cooed, “you do care!”
The next seconds, minutes, or hours, honestly, you didn’t know, went by in a blur you didn’t remember.  Almost like-
“Almost like they didn’t happen?” Deadpool asked, swatting at your bare ass, now seated in his lap, his cock buried deep inside you, “almost like the writer didn’t feel like adding a transition from where we were to where we are now?”
“What?” You asked. You tried to shake your head to clear away the confusion, and to try and shake off the heat blazing under your skin, but it didn’t help, “where are we?”
“My apartment,” Deadpool answered, holding your asscheeks open. 
“How-”
“Shh,” Logan whispered, “just relax,” he said into your ear, his hands on your hips, his body in the space of Deadpool’s spread legs. 
Relax for what? Deadpool’s cock was already inside you. Your mind was too foggy from whatever had gotten on your skin to form a coherent thought, let alone voice it. Lucky for you, Logan answered your question by pressing the blunt head of his cock to your hole, right where Wade already had you stretched open. 
“I can’t,” you said, trying to move away, but that only got you deeper in Deadpool’s arms. 
“You can,” Logan whispered into your ear before his cock plunged inside. And to your surprise, he was right. Whatever they did must have worked as your body opened up to them, making space for the both of their cocks. 
“You think they would give us the recipe for whatever the fuck they gave you was?” Deadpool asked with a groan as he fell back into the pillows on his bed. 
“Shut the fuck up, Wade,” Logan said, his voice rumbled behind you. 
“Wade?” You asked, your hands on his still clothed chest. 
“Wade Winston Wilson,” Wade responded, puffing out his chest with confidence. 
“Your parents named you after the internet?” You asked, tracing a finger down the zipper on the front of his suit. 
“I just got my cock inside you and I’ve already fucked you stupid,” Wade responded with a laugh. 
“Shut the fuck up,” Logan said, “both of you,” he said, choosing for himself that you were adjusted and ready for not just his cock, but Wade’s as well.
You wanted to open your mouth and ask why you were the one that was naked, but when Wade raised his hand to your lips, you instead took his gloved fingers into your mouth to mold your tongue around, not words. 
You bit down into the material, your teeth leaving indents into whatever his gloves were made of. They tasted like salt from where they were on your skin as you moaned when Logan fucked back inside. 
“Really gonna make me do all the work?” Logan asked under his breath, but you still both could hear. Which wasn’t fair of him to ask and expect you to respond, especially as he picked up his pace and his cock hit your prostate, clearing any thought from your mind. 
“You look like you have a good handle on it,” Wade answered, the lower half of the head of his mask rising and falling as he panted.
Logan grumbled out something you couldn’t understand before his teeth latched down onto the sweaty column of your neck, making you moan. The pain from his teeth sent a flare pleasure through your body, straight to your cock. 
It gave a twitch, which unbeknownst to you was your cock spurting ropes of cum over Wade’s chest. It took a second for your body to catch up, but once it did, your back arched as your cock continued to spurt messily across Wade’s chest. 
“Fuck!” Wade moaned, his other hand moving to your hips to keep you still from Logan’s movements as you clenched on their cocks. “Logan, look what you’ve done!” 
“It’s been a while, but I’m pretty sure this is what you wanted to happen,” Logan responded after he pulled his mouth away from your neck, your skin now singing in pain. 
“This is going to ruin my suit,” Wade whimpered before whining at the stimulation to his cock. 
“Sorry,” you responded, your body shaking through the aftershocks. 
“It’s not you, baby,” Wade cooed, the man rising to hold you against his chest, “Logan was too eager to get that weapon of his inside you to get our suits off,” he said, running his hands along your skin in comfort. 
Logan sputtered out a response, his cock throbbing inside you, “you were the one that-”
“Not now, Logan,” Wade interrupted, running a hand down your back, the action feeling possessive, “we’re a little busy, can’t you tell?” He asked, a smirk evident just by the sound of his voice. 
Logan growled, knocking Wade’s hand away before the one went to your shoulder and the other to your hip. Pissed off, Logan started thrusting again at a fast pace, his cock moving in and out of your body. 
Now past the aftershocks, their cocks provoked your prostate, the pleasure of it quickly making your grow hard again. From your shoulder, Logan’s hand moved to your neck to pull you back into a kiss. Logan kissed you slow and deep, like he was trying to show off what he could do because he wasn’t wearing a mask that covered his entire face like Wade was.
“You know all I have to do is lift up the bottom of my mask,” Deadpool said, his hips grinding up to get his cock deeper into your hole, like that was even possible, “besides. I want our first kiss to be special: a movie about a masked anit-hero, then a candlelit dinner, and finally, wine dine sixty-”
“Shut up, Wade!” You and Logan said in unison before your lips pressed together again, just to annoy the man even more.
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divinerapturesys · 1 year ago
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Welcome to my Ted Talk about AsPD, or Antisocial Personality Disorder, which the internet likes to coin as sociopath 👌🏻 if you don’t like long infodumps about stigmatized mental disorders from someone who is diagnosed, move on.
Quick toxic rundown: People with AsPD are generally characterized as emotionless, violent, manipulative abusers who kill animals and like to make other people their bitches. The biggest pet peeve we have is the emotionless, sadistic and abusive generalization.
Personally, we are highly neurotic, with highs and lows of: depression, frantic drive, self abuse tactics, chronic fear, lapses of rejection, overwhelming over-analyzation, grey area thinking, false goods and false bads, ultimatums, obsessive compulsive behavior, harsh self demands, and irritability.
AsPD is a disorder that is caused primarily (according to current research) by trauma and abuse in childhood; most notably being emotional neglect and absent caregivers that cause a child to have emotional shutdowns and repression episodes in an attempt to self soothe. Primary caregivers who do not bond with their children are also a factor. Children learn how to behave from those around them. If a primary caregiver is emotionally distant and unavailable, children will learn that is normal behavior and that’s how people are. If a primary caregiver does not provide empathy and sympathy during moments of distress and fear, children will learn that aloofness and disregard of others feelings is normal behavior. If a primary caregiver does not keep a child safe, children will learn that they should not prioritize their own safety or the safety of others. You can find my follow up post regarding this here.
Neglected and abused children often act out trying to get attention and help, often acting out in bad ways because they lack the ability to articulate what they’re feeling and what is happening to them. The pipeline for AsPD typically is: Oppositional Defiance Disorder as a child, Conduct Disorder as a teen, AsPD as an adult. There are a lot of warning signs cueing that AsPD is becoming a risk for development, but often kids do not have a support system to help negate it as it’s their support system that is usually a factor in its creation.
Being AsPD is like being an emotional La Croix 70% of the time. If you’re depressed, then it’s like someone in the other room has depression and is telling you about it. The other 30% of the time, if you’re depressed, your brain doesn’t understand how to handle it so it’s an ultimatum between doing something drastic to remove the Trigger or ignoring and dissociating for days on end.
People with AsPD are very good at ignoring things. Honestly it’s problematic as fuck but it’s not hard to ignore major issues when you just, don’t care. It’s not in the terms of being cruel or making ourselves not care, but the fact that finding the emotional willpower is so far out of our feasible reach we don’t do it. This causes us to piss people off because we don’t have the capacity to care as much as they want us to, even if we can and do to an extent.
Think of it this way: empathy/sympathy is a deep tub of water that everyone has. They can easily fill their measuring cup for the needed amount of empathy without any issues and it’s easy for them. People with AsPD don’t have a tub of water. We have shallow skillet. When we try to dip our cup to fill it, we can’t, it always comes up short and it is difficult to get any water in it as there is no room for the cup to dive. Our ability to care is limited because we do not have the same emotional resources everyone else does.
❌ False Positives & False Negatives ❌
I operate on what I’ve learned are called false positives and false negatives. These are things that are trained into the brain from an early age based off of childhood trauma and other factors. False positives are a distorted version of why we do something to help ourself and for our own good, meanwhile a false negative is something we do because it’s a threat, or based out of fear.
❌ Some of my false positives:
- It is good to be afraid of nothing
- It is good to adapt to someone’s personality if they are stronger than you
- It is good to isolate yourself
- It is good to be a silver tongue because you can get into any place you want
- It is good to become a social chameleon and shape yourself to whatever those around you need/want most, because then you have no chance of being abandoned
❌ Some of my false negatives, which can explain the false positives as well as core beliefs:
- it is bad to be afraid, if I am afraid then I am vulnerable and it can be used against me
- It is bad to be emotional or show concern for others emotions because they do not care for mine
- It is bad to be able to be exploited, because I believe it is everywhere
- It is bad to allow myself to be bored, because boredom begets bad thoughts and no one can or wants to help me when I spiral
- It is bad to not shape yourself to the social circle, because people quickly grow tired of those who do not match them perfectly and being discarded means I failed
My core beliefs can be viewed as the root for the false positives and negatives, because they are based on the core of trauma, abuse and neglect. They come from patterns and instances that make someone with AsPD become the opposite of what they experienced:
- eat or be eaten
- If I don’t show that my bite is worse than my bark, I will be taken advantage of and I must remain on top because the ones on top are safe
- I must look out for myself because nobody will do it for me
- It doesn’t matter what happens to me, therefore it doesn’t matter what people think of me
- If I cannot do something well, then I should not do it at all
- If you are dependent on others for emotional and mental well being, you are weak, therefore I must isolate myself to avoid becoming codependent and a burden and useless
- If I can handle the stress of a situation better than everyone else, therefore I will keep the problem (financial, emotional, mental, etc) to myself to reduce chances of being abandoned due to failure of perfection
People with AsPD are hard to get along with. We often:
- are always anticipating a fight
- lack respect for authority
- ignore social structures to an extent
- tendency to lie if it’ll lessen punishment or if we feel the lie is more acceptable than our actions
- limit social support because it’s wrong to be dependent on others
- have an inflated view of our own importance — which turns into a self ridicule for believing someome like me could be found important to others —
- can be rude and inconsiderate of others feelings somewhat unintentionally
- are unable to read the correct social cues in relation to empathy towards people and animals
- am constantly confused by others dependence upon empathy and inability to make desicions from logic based standpoints
We can’t speak for everyone who has AsPD, nor are we saying that no one with AsPD is capable of being a murderer/abuser etc. but we are saying that y’all need to stop automatically classifying someone as a certain “type” as soon as you know about their disorder.
One last thing I do want to point out is that it is not uncommon for people with AsPD to derive some sort of enjoyment in causing harm, doing something illegal, hurting someone or animals, etc. This entirely stems from lack of environmental control as a child. Being able to control what happens to others or being able to control the things you say or do that hurts someone else is a hefty high to get addicted to; it soothes the underlying itch of not being able to control your own trauma and abuse, so in turn you push these behaviors onto others and enjoy it because it gives you a sense of power and control. Some people with AsPD do genuinely love hurting others, and some enjoy hurting others when they believe it’s deserved or their ire has been stoked. Some enjoy causing pain to those they think deserve it, and others don’t care who they hurt as long as they feel like they’re in control of the situation.
Hope this have some insight into AsPD 🤙🏻 if y’all have any questions, shoot.
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sundaycentric · 1 year ago
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I need fluff can you write yandere dan heng and if you do 2 Neuvillete (idk how to spell his name 😭)
Sorry if this goes over the rules you could ignore I loveee yandere dan heng hehe
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(separate yandere) dan heng & neuvillette x gn reader
content ★ headcanons, minific, yandere, not proof read, gn reader, reader has hair in dan heng's part, sfw, fluff?
note ★ i love yandere hcs.. idk what it is i just eat them up every single time. but sorry for my recent inactivity ?!?! i rushed these a bit tho.. hope theyre still good </3 mainly just put my thoughts down :(
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DAN HENG ★
Dan Heng knows what it's like. He knows what it's like to be locked up, forced away from the outside world. He knows what it's like to be alone and scared. He knows what it's like to have someone watch your every move. Dan Heng knows what it would be like for you. Yet, he can't shake the thoughts and desires to take you.
Dan Heng knows it's wrong. He can sympathize, which is probably why he tried to deny it all in the first place. However, he's been so selfless. He accepted punishment without complaint. He helps around the Astral Express so much. It's hard for Dan Heng to not be selfish this once and indulge in his love.
That is if he can even call it love. Dan Heng tried to deny his feelings for you first. He knew how hard it would be, even without expecting the obsession to come along with it. His draconic heritage makes him more possessive than the average lover. They hoard what they love, and it includes their mates as well.
Dan Heng can't avoid it entirely, though. Being without you feels like an even worse punishment than his banishment. With you, he feels something he has never felt before. Dan Heng can no longer deny his love for you, even if it may be more than that.
You might notice him giving extra attention to you. It is never anything big, but rather small things. Dan Heng looks at you a bit longer. He smiles slightly when you talk. He stands closer to you. He won't flinch away when you grab his hand. He'll let you into the Archives. Dan Heng will treat you differently.
He is still silent as ever, but he is more relaxed around you. At the same time, he feels more tense, though. Dan Heng doesn't want to push you away. He'll take his time with you.
In his dragon form, his thoughts are even worse. It is harder to suppress his desire for you. Especially when he already begins to subconsciously think of you as his mate. This is when things get a bit more severe. He's less controlled.
Dan Heng's tail might loosely wrap around your ankle as if you'd run. He'll glare at people he thinks are too close. He'll only go where you go. He'll favor you and always find a way to defend you. Things like this are much more noticeable as his love grows.
The Archives have a lot more entries about you. Your physical description, personality, hobbies, interests, and moods all have their own extensive pages. When he can't be with you, he'll simply write or read about you. Dan Heng will find himself reading over your information if he can't go to sleep.
At this point, Dan Heng knows it is more than love. He knows he is obsessed with you. But he doesn't care all that much. He feels something, something that isn't cold. Something that feels good and warm in his heart, even if it is terribly wrong in his brain. He's given up on trying to suppress it. He simply can't, so Dan Heng embraces it. He embraces you. He loves you.
If you do end up loving Dan Heng as well, he will be overjoyed. You can't see it on his face, but the way his tail tightly coils around your waist tells you otherwise. He isn't too big on physical touch normally, but he will always have some kind of touch on you.
He'll get a bit overbearing. He doesn't want to see you hurt. It's dangerous trailblazing. Dan Heng needs you.
If you find out the extent of his love, he might finally lose the rest of his self-restraint. You'd probably run. He doesn't want that. He won't let that happen. You're his now.
Dan Heng gently ran his fingers through your hair, playing with it. You sat down in front of him with his tail securely wrapped around your waist. Your back snugly pressed against his chest. Both of you breathed slowly, enjoying the moment.
"Dan Heng?" You asked. He did not respond. He only continued to mess with your hair. You couldn't see his expression, how he looked at you with utter love in his eyes. He was thinking.
"Dan Heng..?" You question softly. This time, Dan Heng seems to have heard your words. His fingers stop for a moment as he blinks.
"Yes, what is it?" His fingers resume once he speaks. They softly pull through any tangles, Dan Heng paying extra attention to make sure he doesn't hurt you. His tail lightly twitched around your waist.
"I was thinking about going on the Luofu with March and..." You didn't get to finish your sentence as Dan Heng's grip on your hair tightened. It hurt a bit, as his fist pulled on your hair unknowingly. Dan Heng's voice came next.
"No," he said. Dan Heng's voice was far colder than it usually was. He sounded angry and disappointed and upset. It was impossible for you to turn to see his expression with his hand holding your head straight. Dan Heng repeated, "No. It's too dangerous. The.. Stellaron Hunters are there. He is there. If something happens to you, you will never be able to best him in a fight. You need to stay here, where it's safe. Besides, March and the others don't need you. They can do this alone."
Dan Heng's words came out harsher than he was meaning to, but he was too busy worrying about you to realize. He shuddered slightly, imagining what it would be like if you were Blade's next victim. It wasn't hard to figure out Dan Heng is attached to you, so perhaps he would go for you to get to Dan Heng. The thought sickened him. He never wanted to see you in pain like he had to be. Slowly, his grip loosened as he went back to playing with your hair.
However, you were also a bit uneasy. Dan Heng's tone was off, and he had been acting weird recently. You spoke after a few minutes of silence, "I'm feeling tired... I'm going to go to sleep in my room now, Heng."
"Hm," Dan Heng hums, "No. I think you will sleep in here from now on."
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NEUVILLETTE ★
Neuvillette also knows it's wrong. What he stays up at night thinking of is illegal. It goes against everything he does in life. Yet, he would never think it would feel so good.
Neuvillette has never been a selfish man. For hundreds of years, he upheld justice for others. He was always fair and righteous, even when it hurt. However, Neuvillette has never really wanted anything specific in the first place. Yes, he yearns to understand himself and others, but he has never felt that carnal desire to own something.
That is, until he met you of course. Suddenly, he felt something he'd never felt before. It was weird, bubbling in his chest sweetly. It made his heart ache with yearning. It almost felt a bit painful, but it was also so enjoyable. He wanted more of it.
You made him feel something he has yet to grasp. He may not understand emotions well, but he knows what certain ones are. But this, he does not know. You made Neuvillette feel something new. Something that made him feel a bit more alive. As if you were the purpose, the reason he was born.
Neuvillette tries to dismiss these thoughts, but it's hard. He must focus on his duties, but he often thinks of you in the moments between work. He knows it's wrong. But it doesn't feel bad. It feels good. So, is it really that wrong?
Neuvillette is still very busy, though. He will get the melusines to spy on you, which they happily accept. Neuvillette often tells them about you since he doesn't have anyone else he can tell. It's gotten to the point where alongside seeing Neuvillette as their father of sorts, they see you as a parent as well. Of course, they think, you must be the monsieur's spouse. They certainly have no issue with simply ensuring their 'parent's' safety, after all.
Neuvillette never corrects them. After all, it makes him feel warm inside. Marriage sounds nice. A legal contract, bounding you to each other forever. Suddenly, Neuvillette seems to pay more attention to marriage documents and trials related to it.
He will never say anything first. Ever. Even though Neuvillette wants you badly, he will not break his moral code and risk doing something irrational. He likely wouldn't either way, but he worries. Especially when it comes to you.
Neuvillette is very protective of you. He wasn't very big on touch, but now he likes to have some sort of contact with you. Holding your hand, arm, waist, finger, whatever it may be. It helps him make sure you're okay. It's been so long since he's felt affection like that, and he tries to get you to spoil him with it sometimes.
He loves it so much when you treat the melusines like they are your children. Maybe one day you can have children together. Whether it's biological or adoption, he doesn't care. Neuvillette wants to be with you however he can.
And once the prophecy kicks off entirely, you're never leaving his sight again. Even if you're not from Fontaine, there's still a risk and uncertainty. Neuvillette won't let you slip away. He can't. He'll pamper you, do whatever you ask of him (besides letting you go), but he just needs you to stay where he knows you're safe.
If you try to leave, then good luck. It'll be raining. Hard. You can barely even walk without getting soaked. It's never been this bad in Fontaine before.. but as soon as Neuvillette sees you again, it's unbearably sunny. The weather is quite extreme.
You're his mate after all. Why are you even trying to leave him, if you are? This is your home now. Neuvillette sighs, perhaps you're just nervous. It's okay, though. He figures you need to adjust.
He won't care if you find out how much he loves you. Why does it matter? Of course, he loves his mate.
"I forbid you," Neuvillette stares you down, "My dear, please, come back over here. I'd hate to request a guard to block the door."
You stop in your tracks, not doubting Neuvillette's words. You could feel his gaze burning into your skull. It scared you. He was incredibly powerful, and it would be best to comply with him, no?
You turned around. He smiled gently, "Good. Now come, sit back down, mon ange (my angel)."
You listen to him, slowly walking back towards him. You sit on the couch next to his desk before he sighs. The rain gets a bit harder.
"You know that's not your seat," he murmurs. And you know exactly what he means. Neuvillette waits for you to return to him, and sit on his lap—your seat. You do.
"There," Neuvillette breathes out on your neck. He wraps his arms around your waist and buries his face into your neck. The rain alleviates, slowing. You shake a bit in his grasp, either from his breathing or your possible fear.
"Shh.. it's okay, mon cœur (my heart), is it that you're cold..?" Neuvillette asks sweetly, before holding you tighter. "I'll warm you up, my love. Just stay with me.."
His hands begin to rub circles into your back as he flips you over. Neuvillette isn't manhandling you roughly, but he does it with such ease. It may not be purposeful, but it's a reminder of just how much stronger he is than you. After all, he is a dragon. He uses his glove hand to gently push you against his chest. Neuvillette effectively trapped you in his warm grasp.
"Neuvillette.." You say softly, "There is no need to hold me like a lifeline."
He smiles but doesn't loosen his grip. "I beg to differ. After all, I don't think I could live without you, so you are my lifeline, no? My lifeline and my mate.."
Neuvillette's voice is longing. You won't be able to get out of this any time soon. The rain disappears alongside your smile (or frown).
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Text
Trust
main masterlist | the boys masterlist
summary: soldier boy doesn’t realize just how scared of him you truly are
pairing: soldier boy x female reader
rating: R for language, mature themes
word count: 5.2k
warnings: please read! language, mentions of sexual assault, attempted sexual assault, drugging, violence, forced purging (to prevent possible death), briefly mentioned nudity (not in a smutty way), much darker than anything i’ve published before
author’s note: this started out as a small idea but i got really carried away lol.
another note: sorry for kinda ghosting after uploading the last fic, my brain hates me 🙃 i can’t promise i won’t “disappear” again like immediately after uploading this so thank you in advance for any/all feedback/comments 💞💞
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It was late at night (more like early morning) when you were arguing with Butcher at the door. 
“Don’t you dare leave me here alone with him!” you seethed.
“C’mon, love, the old cunt’s gonna be asleep the whole time I’m gone.”
Your teeth clenched at the idea of being alone in the house with Soldier Boy, but if Billy didn’t go now to “run an errand” he’d probably have to go later that day anyway.
“Fine,” you sighed. “But if ‘the old cunt’ lays a fucking finger on me I swear to god Butcher!”
“I’ll be back by nine.”
**
A loud knock on your door woke you up.
“Hey! Sweetheart!” Soldier Boy’s voice shouted from the other side. “You up?”
“I am now,” you mumbled to yourself angrily. 7:26 your clock read.
“I heard that,” Soldier Boy said. 
Shit, you thought. “What do you want?” 
“The stupid TV isn’t fuckin’ working, I need you to come and work your magic for me.”
You sighed. You couldn’t ignore him at this point, that’d most likely just anger him further. If he wanted to he’d just break down the door and drag you out to the living room.
“C’mon toots, don’t be a bitch about it,” he exclaimed.
“Screw you,” you mumbled.
“Hey!” Soldier Boy exclaimed. “What’d I just fuckin’ say!” He tried opening the door but you’d obviously locked it. 
“I-I’ll be out in a second,” you told him. 
“That’s more like it,” he mumbled back.
You quickly got out of bed (whole outfit still on, just in case Soldier Boy had tried something in the night) and hurried to the door before you opened it. There he stood, the strongest man alive. You gulped nervously as he didn’t move and stayed blocking your way out. 
He eyed you up and down obnoxiously, smirking at the sight and making your heart beat faster.
“Same outfit as last night, I see,” he said. 
“S-So?” you asked, trying to mask the pure fear this man instilled in you. “I just like these clothes, is all.” He didn’t say anything, just kept smirking at you. “You’re wearing the same clothes as yesterday, too, you know!”
“So you have been checking me out.” He nodded a little, the smirk still on his face.
“Did you want me to help you with the TV or did you just wake me up to be a dick?”
“TV,” he grumbled, “but would it kill you to be polite once in a while?”
“Would it kill you to move out of the way so I can head downstairs?”
He furrowed his brows before he rolled his eyes and stepped to the side; “After you, princess,” he mocked. You left your bedroom and he followed you downstairs to where the perfectly functioning TV hung on the wall.
You hated the way Soldier Boy eyed you as you took the remote out from the cabinet beside the TV and turned it on.
“It seems to be working fine?” you said, wanting to take his attention off of your ass. “What were you trying to watch?”
“Uh…how bout you pick something for us?” he offered.
“Excuse me?” you practically scoffed.
“C’mon, sit down and watch with me,” he said. You turned around, expecting to see him sitting on the couch, but he was now standing about a yard away from you. “Butcher seems to be gone…” He took a step towards you. “We’ve got the whole house to ourselves…” Another step. “Why don’t we have some fun?” He reached out and lightly touched your cheek, traced down the side of your face, and tilted your chin up to look him in the eyes.
“Soldier Boy—”
“I’ve seen the way you’ve been looking at me,” he interrupted you. “I know your heart starts racing when I walk into a room, I know it beats even faster when I get close. I know you want me, don’t even try to fuckin’ deny it.”
“P-Please—”
“Oh, I like a woman who knows when to beg,” he chuckled lowly as he bent down to kiss you.
“Please don’t hurt me, please,” you said quickly, tears stinging your eyes as they threatened to fall. “I-I’m sorry I’ve been such a bitch to you, I-I didn’t mean it! Please don’t kill me!”
“Kill you?” He stood up straight, pulling his hand up off your face and putting it up in defense. “Kill you?” There was a moment of silence as he intensely looked at your reaction to him getting so close. “You…You’re scared of me, aren’t you?”
You nodded slightly, worried you might upset him as his face fell. He seemed almost saddened by the fact you didn’t want him near you.
“But…I’m a hero,” he scoffed slightly. “Why would you be scared of me?”
“Please don’t take it personally,” you said. “Just let me set up the TV for you and go back to my room…please?”
“You’re fuckin’ terrified right now, aren’t you?” he asked and again you nodded, again he scoffed.
“Can you blame me?” you asked. “I-If I rub you the wrong way you could snap my neck like a chicken bone without breaking a sweat.”
“But I…” He continued looking at you with confusion that seemed to be laced with curiosity. “I wouldn’t. I mean, I know I get angry sometimes but I’d never hurt you?”
“You wouldn’t be the first hero to turn on me,” you told him quietly. Soldier Boy paused and thought about what to do next. He’d never been in a situation like this before; standing alone with someone who was genuinely scared of him, someone that didn’t trust a hero like himself.
“Just uh… Just turn on a movie and you can go,” he said before he took a seat on the couch. “Another one from my time, if you don’t mind.”
“Sure,” you said; a small, forced smile on your lips. You found a movie you thought he’d like and pressed play for him before tossing the remote on the couch and leaving.
“Hey, sweetheart,” he called out, making you stop in your tracks. “I’m sorry you don’t trust me, but I need you to know that I’d never hurt you.”
“O-Okay, Soldier Boy,” you said before you hurried out of the room, up the stairs, and back into your room. “Billy Butcher I am going to fucking strangle you,” you mumbled to yourself.
**
“You’re up before noon,” Butcher remarked, seeing Soldier Boy in the living room. “And you got the TV workin’ on your own! Atta boy, gov’.”
“Actually, Y/n set it up for me,” Soldier Boy said.
Butcher sighed at that, “So, you’ve talked to her today then, huh?”
“Yeah, why?” the Supe asked before Butcher left to see you. 
He knocked lightly on your door before you opened it. 
“Hello—” Butcher started but a swift slap to the face shut him up pretty quickly.
“Fuck you, Butcher!”
“Did he hurt you?” Butcher asked, holding his cheek.
“No, but he almost fucking did, asshole! How dare you leave me alone with him like that!”
“Oh come off it! If you’re still in one piece then all’s well that ends well, am I right?” he said with a smirk and a shrug. 
“You ever do something like that again and I swear to god William!” You stared daggers at him.
“My ‘errand’ didn’t go as planned anyways, love,” he told you. “I’ve gotta figure out another way to find where they’re hiding Homelander.”
“Or whatever’s left of him,” you mumbled.
**
“Alright, I’m off,” Butcher announced, a full duffle bag in his hand as he headed to the door.
“What?” you exclaimed from the kitchen as you hurried to get between him and his destination. “What’re you talking about?”
“Everything okay?” Soldier Boy asked from the couch near the TV.
“Everything’s fine, gov’, you keep watching your movie,” Butcher said.
“Can I talk to you outside for a minute?” you asked Butcher, you didn’t want Soldier Boy to hear what you were about to say. 
“After you then, love,” Butcher obliged.
The second the door closed behind the two of you, you let him have it.
“Don’t you fucking dare leave me here alone with him again, I cannot fucking take it!”
“It’ll only be for a little while, you’ll be fine!” Butcher said.
“Then let me come with you!”
“What, and leave the cunt here alone? He’ll burn the house down trying to make himself a fuckin’ sandwich,” Butcher exclaimed. “He needs a fuckin’ babysitter and that’s you.”
“Why me? Why can’t you call Hughie? Or Frenchie? Or, better than all of us combined, Kimiko?” you asked.
“Hughie’s outta state, Frenchie and Kimiko are both knee-deep in shit sussing out another lead on Homelander’s whereabouts.”
You sighed heavily, you saw his point but the thought of being trapped again made your stomach hurt; “Please don’t leave me alone with him, Butcher. You know how much he fucking terrifies me, and you know exactly why.”
“I’m sorry I gotta do this to you, love, but you know he’s our only shot at killin’ Homelander once and fucking for all.”
“How long will you be gone?”
“Only a day or two.”
You again conceded, against your better judgment, and let Butcher leave you with Soldier Boy.
“What was that all about?” the Supe asked when you walked back into the house and locked the door. 
You forced a smile; “Nothing, Soldier Boy,” you said, “dinner will be ready soon.”
You didn’t know Soldier Boy heard everything you and Butcher had said.
**
“Looks great, toots.” Soldier Boy walked up behind you in the kitchen, not missing the flinch you threw when he got a little too close. 
“Thanks,” you mumbled. 
“You still that scared of me?” he asked, leaning on the counter and trying to get you to look up at him.
“If you can hear my heart, I’m sure you’ve got something that can smell my fear too.”
“I know I make your heart race, your breathing becomes slightly quicker when I get close, and I’ve noticed your pupils tend to change when you notice I’m next to you.”
“So why is my fear such a fuckin’ surprise, then?” you scoffed.
“I guess I didn’t realize it was fear making your heart race and your pupils dilate slightly.”
“What, you thought I was into you or something?” you asked half-heartedly before you looked over at him and realized that was exactly what he had thought. “Oh.”
“So, yeah, I was surprised when I realized you didn’t like havin’ me around,” he admitted. You almost felt guilty for a moment but it quickly disappeared as you remembered why you were scared of him in the first place. “Can you at least tell me why, though?” he asked as you shoveled his food onto a plate. “Why are you so scared of me? I get that I’m stronger than you but, no offense, isn’t Butcher too? Isn’t like… almost every man out there?”
“One, I trust Butcher. I’ve known him for years and he’s been nothing but good; he’s an asshole, sure, but he’s good when it counts. And two, I don’t spend time alone with ‘almost every man out there’ so that does not help your case at all.” You handed him the plate. “Here’s your food.”
“Thanks, dollface.” He took it from you and you started getting your own plate ready. He watched your every move and his brows knitted with confusion as he did so. 
“You can go sit down,” you told him. “You don’t need to watch me like a hawk.”
“I’m sorry, I’m just still tryin’ to figure you out I guess.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” you scoffed.
“You know I’m a hero, right? I’m a superhero, and I would never hurt you?”
“Look, no offense, but the last time I trusted a Supe it really didn’t turn out well and I’m not gonna let myself give you even an inch of trust because you are even stronger than the last guy.”
“What happened? What’d he do?” Soldier Boy asked and you didn’t respond. “C’mon, you owe me that much! I’ve been nothing but good to you, yet you’re treating me like I did whatever this other Supe did to you!”
“I don’t owe you shit, Soldier Boy,” you snapped and you could’ve sworn you saw genuine hurt flash over his features. “If you must know, it was The Deep. I trusted him, let him be good to me, and it all blew up in my face in the most awful way I could’ve imagined.”
“I’m sorry, honey.” He reached out to touch your shoulder but you flinched away from him.
“Please, don’t touch me. I get that you’re trying to be sweet or whatever but please don’t. It’s not doing what you think it’s doing, Soldier Boy.”
He nodded and backed away slightly.
“My name’s Ben,” he told you. You looked at him with a sense of shock. “My real name’s Ben, you don’t have to say ‘Soldier Boy’ all the time, you can just say ‘Ben’.”
“Okay, Ben, while we’re on the topic of names, you could ease up on the ‘toot’s and ‘doll’s and ‘dollface’s and ‘honey’s and ‘sweetheart’s you know. Or at the very least stick to one pet name.”
He smiled at your honesty, hoping it was a sign you might be scared of him just a tad less.
“Think I’ll just stick to callin’ you sweetheart, then,” he replied.
“Thank god, I was really starting to hate dolls.”
That made him laugh deeply before he walked to the table and took his seat.
Don’t you fucking dare, you thought to yourself when you felt a feeling of almost-not-absolute-fear-and-disgust wash over you for a split second. 
**
“Look, I’m sorry, but—”
“You’re sorry?” you scoffed into the phone. “Butcher get the fucking hell back here!”
“I can’t, I’ve gotta spend another night over here. Apparently—”
“I don’t give a rat's ass why you have to stay, I am begging you to please get back here now!” Tears were stinging your eyes as your voice cracked.
“I’m sorry—”
“If he does anything to me, anything at all, I’ll never fucking forgive you for leaving me alone with him, Butcher. You understand me, William? Never!”
“He’s not gonna hurt you,” Butcher sighed. “Just keep your distance and be nice to him. He does have a bit of a temper, maybe he just needs to relieve some tension…”
“That’s not funny!” You gritted your teeth as a few tears slipped down your cheeks. “When are you getting back here?”
“A few more days,” he replied. 
Before he said another word you hung up on him, furious that he thought it was okay to leave you alone with Soldier Boy.
Though the Supe was in his own room upstairs, he still heard every word you said. He’d never admit it, but his heart clenched at the thought of how scared you were right now. 
**
It had been over a week since you’d seen him when Butcher finally got back with some new information on Homelander’s location. He had a plan to find the exact coordinates and he wasn’t going to let his morals get in the way.
“Well, well, you clean up nice,” Butcher commented when you stepped out of the bathroom.
“Shut up,” you grumbled. You were wearing a short royal blue dress with a deep v-neckline and almost no back, the silver heels and necklace tied the otherwise seemingly plain outfit together nicely. “If this stupid plan of yours gets me killed I’m gonna come back and haunt you for the rest of your fuckin’ life.”
“Wow,” Ben beamed when he walked out of his room and saw you standing in the hall with Butcher. “You look incredible, sweetheart.”
“I look like a damn hooker,” you said. 
“That’s the idea, love.” Butcher smirked.
**
A high-ranking Vought employee had been seen at a certain bar almost every night for the last two months and it was now your job to get him to trust you. If he trusted you enough, he would take you back to his place and you could find out any and all information he had on Homelander. 
The plan seemed simple enough, yet Ben seemed more anxious about the situation than you were. 
“Are you sure this is safe?” Soldier Boy asked when you were all seated in the van outside the bar.
“No, but if this helps us get Homelander then it’s safe enough,” you told him. 
“Besides, you’ll be in there with her,” Butcher reminded him. “And if you stay focused on keeping her safe, then I’m sure she’ll be fine.”
“How ‘bout we come up with a code word or something?” Ben suggested as he put in the earpiece Butcher handed him. 
“How about ‘Soldier Boy’?” you said, Ben shook his head.
“And what happens if you need to say ‘Soldier Boy’ but you don’t need help?” he countered.
“How about…Ben?” You smiled a little when he nodded.
“I’ll be listening closely to the whole conversation, if you say ‘Ben’ I’ll come and get you outta there.”
“Sounds good.” 
“Alright,” Butcher interrupted, “Soldier Boy keep me updated and if all goes well, Y/n, we won’t be seeing you again til later tonight.” He winked obnoxiously.
“If this guy genuinely tries to sleep with me I’ll break his fuckin’ nose,” you said flatly. “Info or no info, I ain’t letting him see me naked.”
**
Ben had gone in about a minute before you did and found a nice spot near where he knew you’d be sitting with the target. The second you walked in his eyes were glued. He stayed true to his word and listened to every word you and the target said.
“This seat taken, handsome?” you asked the man who then smirked at you. 
“It is now,” he said. “And what’s your name, gorgeous?”
“Goldie,” you lied as you took your seat. “What’s yours?”
“Steven. Let me buy you a drink?” he offered and called the bartender over when you nodded. 
“Vodka martini,” you ordered. “So Steven, what do you do for work?”
“I work for Vought,” he said and you faked an impressed look. 
“No way!” you gasped. “Oh my god, do you know The Seven?”
“I do,” he said with a nod, clearly full of himself. 
“That is so cool,” you continued stroking his ego. You nodded in thanks when the bartender handed you your drink and you took a sip. “I’ve never met someone so important!”
“You wanna know a secret?” he asked, you nodded enthusiastically. He leaned over so he could whisper into your ear; “I’m actually in The Deep’s close, personal circle.”
Your eyes went wide for a split second before you got a hold of yourself and whispered back; “Really?”
“Uh-huh,” he said. “I could introduce you if you’d like.” You pulled away from him slightly but still tried your best to keep yourself calm.
“Oh, that’s alright,” you shook your head, “I’m sure he’s too busy for little old me.”
“I’m never too busy.” The voice behind you made your whole body tense up and Ben could tell you were in trouble. You hadn’t said the code word though and he knew both you and Butcher would be mad if he screwed up the mission.
“Butcher,” Ben said into the intercom attached to his jacket, “Deep’s here.”
Butcher paused for a moment before he answered; “Don’t freak out. Y/n can handle herself and unless she says ‘Ben’ you don’t make a move, you understand Soldier Boy?”
“Understood,” he replied.
“You know,” The Deep said, still standing behind you, “I’ve had my eye on you since you walked in here, gorgeous.”
“Y-You have?” you asked, wondering if he recognized you or if your face just blurred together with all the other women he had assaulted. You took another sip of the drink in your hand and continued to keep a close eye on it to make sure it didn’t get spiked.
“I have,” he replied. “Now, why don’t you let my friend Steven here show you a nice time, then take you back to my place at Vought Tower?”
“S-Sounds good,” you trembled. “I-I’ll see you later tonight then, Deep.” You took another, smaller sip.
“Wonderful,” he said before he bent down and placed a kiss on your cheek. “Can’t wait to see this dress on my floor.” With that, he walked away and you let out a sigh of relief.
“Fish fucker’s left the building,” Ben told Butcher. “You gonna tail him or are we still focusing on Steven?”
“Stay focused on Steven, we can kill fish fucker another day,” Butcher said.
“So, you want another drink?” Steven asked you. “Or would you rather head over to the tower?”
“You know, I’d rather spend the night at your place, Steven.” You faked a sweet smile. 
“Really?” He raised a brow as a smirk returned to his face. “So, another drink, then?”
“How about I just let you take me home?” The moment you stood up you knew something was wrong. You instantly felt dizzy and sat back down. “Ben, help,” you whispered when you realized exactly what was happening. 
“Looks like we’re heading to the tower, Goldie,” Steven said. “Thanks as always, Pat.” He handed a couple hundreds to the bartender.
Ben came up behind Steven and pinned him against the bar with one hand, his other hand resting on the bar itself a few inches from where you were now slouched over.
“What the hell did you do to her, fuckface?” Ben seethed.
“I didn’t do anything! What’s your problem?” Steven yelled, drawing attention to the scene unfolding.
Ben took the back of the man’s head and brought it up half a foot before he slammed it back down onto the wood. 
“Tell me what you fuckin’ did or I’ll squish you like a bug,” Ben yelled as he applied more and more pressure to Steven’s head.
“Roofie!” Steven yelled. “Ask the bartender!”
“Ben don’t kill him,” Butcher told him through the earpiece. 
“He deserves to fuckin’ die, Butcher,” Ben replied.
“Yes he does but he still has information that we need. If you’ve gotta kill someone, kill the bartender who spiked the fuckin’ drink!”
Ben looked up from gravely injured Steven and saw the bartender cowering in the corner.
“Ben,” you whispered and reached out to touch the hand he still had on the counter. “Ben get me outta here.” His angered expression slowly faded as he looked down into your hooded eyes. “Please?”
“Yeah, I’ve got you,” Soldier Boy said before he quickly scooped you up in his arms and carefully kept your head resting on his shoulder. “Hey, barkeep,” he shouted and the man looked over at him. “Mark my words; no matter where you go or what you do I will find you and tear you limb from fucking limb for hurting her. Your days are fucking numbered.”
Ben hurried you out to the truck and sat you down on the seat next to his so you could lean on him if you wanted, or alternatively, you could lean against the window if you still didn’t want him touching you.
“Stay with her, I’m gonna go figure out how much they gave her and if we need to take her to the hospital,” Butcher told Soldier Boy before leaving.
“Ben,” you slurred, still barely able to open your eyes, “Ben what—what’d you do to me?”
“God fuckin’ damn it, Butcher,” he mumbled under his breath. He blamed Billy entirely for the operation going sideways and for you ending up in danger. “Fuck, you need to purge, sweetheart.” He positioned you so your head was hanging out the side door and stuck his fingers down your throat, ignoring your angered hits to his arms. “This is for your own good, stop fighting me.”
You hurled out the side door, Ben held onto you tightly and made sure you didn’t fall out or get hurt. 
“Please just let me go,” you whispered when he took his fingers out, satisfied with the amount of possibly deadly alcohol you were able to get out of your system.
“I know you’re scared right now, but I can’t let you go,” he told you. “I’m sorry.”
Butcher got back to the car pretty quickly, a worried expression on his face.
“How much did they give her?” Ben asked.
“Too fuckin’ much,” Butcher replied. “We’ve gotta make her puke it all up or she might not make it.”
**
You woke up on the couch to the sound of Butcher and Ben arguing in the kitchen, a splitting headache quickly made itself known when you opened your eyes fully.
“This is your fault, Butcher,” Soldier Boy yelled, “you and your stupid obsession to find Homelander. How dare you put her life at risk like that!”
“Hey I had the strongest man alive in there backing her up, so how the hell did you screw up so badly?”
There was a pause as you kept listing, a part of you was scared you’d start to hear punches being thrown.
Ben shook his head as he looked at his ‘boss’; “You’re a fuckin’ asshole, you know that? She’s been scared outta her fuckin’ mind and yet you just keep on pushin’ her and pushin’ her. And for what? To kill a Supe that’s probably dead already? You know Homelander ain’t a threat since I fuckin’ burned him, yet you still put someone you say you care about in danger.”
“‘Scared outta her fuckin’ mind’?” Butcher scoffed. “What’re you on about?”
“I know she’s terrified of me,” Ben admitted. “I know that you know she is, too. And yet you keep leaving her alone with me, why? Just to make her life worse? To make her feel less safe than she already does?”
“You sayin’ she’s got a reason to be scared of you, then?” Butcher asked. “Thought you were supposed to be some kinda hero?”
“Of course I’d never hurt her! But I’m still a Supe and I know you hate Supe’s. There’s no way in hell you trust me at all or you wouldn’t have her babysitting me every time you leave the fuckin’ house. What I don’t get is why you’re so comfortable leaving her here with the strongest man in the world when you think I’m a fucking monster.” Ben walked over to the fridge and took a bottled water out before he grabbed a cup and left the kitchen.
“Hey, sweetheart,” he said quietly as he entered the living room. “I know you’re up, do you want some water?”
“What happened?” you asked as he squatted on the floor in front of the couch and made eye contact with you.  
“We can fill you in later, you should probably drink,” he said and held out the two items in his hands. “Would you rather the bottle or a cup?”
“Bottle’s fine,” you replied and you slowly sat up, putting a hand to your head before you took the water from him.
“You need some Aspirin or something?” he asked. 
“I’m sure Butcher ‘ll bring me some,” you said, making Ben’s brows furrow a little before he nodded with realization.
“You still don’t trust me much, do you?”
“Sorry,” you mumbled before beginning to drink the water. “What am I wearing, by the way?” you asked and gestured to the dirty, large black tee you had on over the blue dress.
“Oh, uh,” he scratched the back of his neck nervously, “it was on the car floor, I think it’s Butcher’s. I put it on you when uh, when you were kinda out of it and… your boob might’ve kinda… popped outta your dress.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah,” he mumbled. “I didn't… like I didn’t look or anything, I just saw the shirt and immediately put it over you.”
“Sure.” You nodded before you continued downing the bottled water.
“I’ll go get Butcher to bring you some painkillers,” Ben said before leaving the room.
**
You’d just gotten out of the shower and put on a new set of clean clothes when Butcher stopped you in the hall.
“How’s your head?” he asked.
“Better,” you replied flatly, still pretty frustrated with him.
“I’m sorry I was such an idiot,” he sighed, “I shoulda told Soldier Boy to get you hell outta there the second the fish fucker showed his ugly mug.”
“We needed intel on Homelander,” you reminded him. “My safety was just the price we had to pay.”
“And that was a fucked up currency for me to gamble with,” he said. “I’m sorry I’ve been so obsessed and I’m sorry for leaving you alone with Soldier Boy so much the past couple of weeks.”
You shrugged a little; “It’s no big deal.”
“I want you to know I’m done tryin’ to find Homelander.”
“Seriously?” Your eyes went wide and you furrowed your brows. 
“The cunt’s most likely down for the count anyway thanks to granny fucker downstairs and there are other Supes that are much bigger threats right now anyway. Like The Deep, for example, and the number of people he’s paying to help him get away with assaults like last night. I’ve been talking with Hughie and as it turns out, he’s already had his eye on a handful of other bartenders workin’ for fish dick.”
“So…what? You’re saying you’re gonna go back to your old job at Supe affairs and start hunting down these assholes in a more mentally-healthy way?” you asked.
“That’s exactly what I’m saying.”
**
When you entered the living room you noticed Ben readjusting his position on the couch, as if to try and make himself appear less threatening.
“Hey,” you said quietly, a small smile on your lips as you sat down about two feet from him on the same couch.
“Hey,” he replied. “How’re you feeling?”
“Better.” You nodded. “You need help with the TV?” you asked, picking up the remote from where it sat on the coffee table in front of you.
“Yeah, thanks,” he replied. He watched you intently as you ‘worked your magic’ on the electronic contraption.
“I know I was completely at your mercy last night, Ben,” you said, focused on the TV and not looking over at him. “And I know you could’ve easily taken advantage of the fact I was out of it.”
“But I didn’t.”
“I know that, too.”
“But you still don’t trust me?”
“I want to,” you said. You reached out your left hand and gently placed it on his right one. He looked down at where your hands were touching and smiled softly. “I want to trust you, I just need time to get to know you.”
“You sayin’ you wanna get to know me?” he asked with a bit of a smirk before you nodded. The two of you stayed like that for a moment before Soldier Boy broke the silence; “So, where do we go from here?”
“How about we watch something together?” you suggested. 
“That sounds great, sweetheart.”
1K notes · View notes
hannieween · 8 months ago
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pushing and pulling | joshua hong
› pairings: joshua hong x female reader › genre: angst, fluff, smut (18+) › aus: nba player joshua, playboy joshua, love affair › word count: 8k
› 🎧: take you down – yugyeom | do me right – gemini | pushin' n pullin' – red velvet | middle of the night – monsta x | 100 ways – jackson wang | dumb – i.m | guilty – taemin
this post is connected a nba joshua playboy request (you can find it in my page on the reqs tag)
› nsfw tags under the cut
› warnings: slight hurt/comfort, toxic vibes, reader is married, body worshipping, oral sex, pussy drunk shua, soft-dom joshua, oblivious pining, love making, unprotected p in v sex, lotus position, a bit of cockwarming, creampie, reader is on the pill, joshua is kind of a jerk but sweet in some way, pet names: baby (hers)
› big big thank you to @cvntrlseecvntrlvee who beta read this for me and helped me edit and with the more tricky aspects of joshua pouring his heart out to you ( > 〰 < )♡
› also thanks to @glowunderthemoon who brainstormed with me and recommended 100 ways by jackson for this chapter. i wanna kiss your genius brain
› disclaimer: minors dni this post is intended for 18+ readers. please have your age stated in your description and try not to look like a bot please 🙂.
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pushing and pulling
The elliptical beeped softly as Joshua forced it to a stop. He kept his breathing steady, but he couldn't ignore the impulsive need to wipe the sweat off his face.
He looked closely at his progress. Feeling content, he climbed down, wiped the machine and walked away to finally commence his general training.
The gym was particularly deserted. As expected from a Friday afternoon. Joshua had just finished warming up and moved to do some bench presses. It was his usual Friday routine, except he mostly went during the mornings.
But last night he couldn't sleep. And he didn't have any plans for the rest of the night, so, the gym it is.
He kept the music in his earphones at a high volume to drown out the music blasting from the gym's fancy sound system and the lonely goers who were working on the other weight machines.
Why do they have to let the weights drop that loud? So noisy.
He kept pushing the bar up and then slowly pressed it back down with a controlled motion, letting strained exhales escape his mouth. It was one of his favorite exercises to do. He was lying back on the bench, and staring at the ceiling, listening to music—he could reflect like this.
Until he sat back up on the bench, having finished his rep, and stood up to look for something to clean up the bench after him. That was when he caught sight of you, in the far distance of the gym. You were using a treadmill, looking straight at your reflection in the mirror up front.
Maybe you just got to the gym, he thought from the look of you. Your well-kept hair was braided, there was no sweat on your face from what he could see and well, he hadn't seen you until now.
Joshua kept doing his exercises as normal. But he couldn't shake off the tight knot that had parked in his stomach since he saw you there.
In fact, every time you crossed his mind he felt that way. And he thought of you constantly. He replayed over and over in his head the memory of the events that led you to the first time you kissed him.
It had been a rushed, heated kiss—but everything that happened before it took its time. At every chance, when you crossed paths, you'd sent him glances that,  at first, obfuscated him a little.
Until one night, at a private event. After many suggestive looks exchanged between Joshua and you, in a perfect moment, your husband was out of the way and you got Joshua to follow you down a fire exit. One thing led to the other.
He didn't know you went to the same gym as him—though it could be something he expected since everyone on his team used it. It was quite the exclusive place.
He kept checking on you every now and then. It seemed that you were just running because half an hour passed and you hadn’t left your spot.
That's how he slowly gathered the little details about you, the bags under your eyes, the sad look on the features of your face.
So he kept to his regular training—working his lats, his triceps, biceps and then finishing with abs. Push and pull kinda day. It was supposed to be only pull but well, what gives.
Joshua moved from the last machine, cleaned it off, threw the towel away and walked towards the locker-rooms. Thinking of getting a shower, grabbing his stuff and heading home. Maybe drink a beer and hopefully, sleep.
"What are you doing here?"
Joshua removed his earphones. You had cornered him almost as if you had planned it, and possibly did. He looked over his shoulder as a precaution, the hall was empty.
"What are you doing here?" you repeated, your tone anxious and shifty eyes roaming all over him.
"Baking a cake," he responded nonchalantly.
"Tsk, fine," you scoffed and looked the other way.
Joshua paused and took consideration over what he saw in you, the stale, emotionless about you. Unusual. The features of your face looked torn, instead of the usual kindness he usually saw in them. He confirmed his suspicions that you weren’t sleeping well either when he saw the darkness under your eyes, and the paleness that stole the color from your lips. 
Even with that dead look in your eye, Joshua was convinced that you were the prettiest girl he'd ever seen. Although all you and Joshua ever did was throw snarky comments at each other, sometimes while fucking, even then, he always thought you were sweet and cute. 
"How about we start over?"
"What?"
"Hi?" Joshua joked. "How are you? No?"
"Josh," you sighed and took a hand to your forehead, where your fingers rubbed your frown tiredly. "Sorry, you know what, you're right. I'm being a little on edge."
Joshua couldn't blame you for that. In fact, he felt like he might be the only person in the world that would understand what you're going through.
He leaned in, his doe eyes reading you carefully. "Do you need to talk?" he asked, his voice devoid of all snarkiness. It was his usual tone, honeyed.
You raised your eyes at him, glinting in such a way that it only made the knot in his stomach twist harder. "Yeah, I–," you choked up. "I... uh..."
"Did you come here by car?" he promptly asked and he saw the spark in your eyes change. Excitement, fear, as if the answers you desired so greatly were all found in him, in that question.
"I walked," you frowned softly. "Why?"
Joshua dug on the inside of his sweats and pulled out the key to his car. "Black Audi A8," he instructed: "Wait for me inside. I'll take no more than 10 minutes."
You pocketed the key in your gym bag quickly. "What are you going to do?"
"Take a shower," he said and started to turn to walk down the hall. "See you there."
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Joshua closed the door of his car, settling on the seat.
You handed him the key to his car. "Hi," you mumbled shamefully.
"That's better," he joked, taking the key and thrusting it into the ignition. He drove away from the underground parking lot. As soon as he was within the vicinity of his place and the silence had turned somewhat unpleasant, he sent you a glance. "It's been a while."
You had been keeping your head turned to the side. But you nodded, and you met his brief gaze. "Yeah I've... been busy."
Joshua kept his comments to himself from that point. His mind had started reeling instead. He parked on his spot and as soon as he turned the engine off, he opened the glove compartment, pulling out a cap.
"Here," he offered you the cap.
"Are you serious?" you asked, sending him a bewildered look.
"Listen, I'm not risking someone seeing you here with me and start asking questions," he emphasized those words, knowing what value they had to them.
Because he was the nation's favorite playboy. The one who’s got the eyes and heart of the media. The heartthrob. Ever since his career skyrocketed, this fame, this persona, it had been following him close by like a shadow.
Though all a lie, it seemingly had fooled you too.
"Fine," you said, taking the cap, which was his team's merch, putting it on with a huff. Then you mumbled with dry sarcasm: "How do I look?"
"Pretty, as always," he smirked and pushed the door to get out of his car.
You followed him inside the elevator, down a hall and into his apartment.
"I would've assumed we'd reach the penthouse," you quipped as soon as you were inside.
Joshua turned the first lamp in the corner of the living room. The curtains were drawn wide open, letting in the view of the skylight. He snickered as an attempt to deflect from the constant judgment of his character.
"Why is that?" he asked with a low tone and motioned you over with one of his large hands.
"I dunno," you mumbled and walked over to the fancy large couch. "May I?"
"Of course," he replied and went over to the open kitchen to open the cabinet, grabbing two short glasses. "Drink?"
"Sure, uh," you breathed out shakily. "I only assumed that you'd be like the rest of 'em, you know. Showy, living on the top of the highest building, throwing out money wherever you go."
"Pff," he scoffed, throwing some cubes of ice into each glass. "You've known me long enough to know that's not my style."
That comment seemed to rattle you a bit. You stilled in your seat and when Joshua offered you the glass of whisky, you stared at the ice cubes for a moment.
Joshua was your husband's best friend. You have been part of each other's lives for long enough to know that his lavish lifestyle was nothing compared to the one of your husband's.
But Joshua is nothing like your husband.
Jake, your husband, is the one that the media loves. He is the golden boy, team captain, the one with the most deals, money and fame. The guy who gets all the recognition for being such a good husband.
"Jake is cheating on me," you breathed, letting those words out for the first time since you found out. They hit you like a punch in the gut, and your eyes instantly brimmed with tears of shame, guilt and regret.
Joshua was still standing between the couch and the coffee table, right in front of you. So he sat down by your side, leaving his drink beside yours, not quite looking in your eye as he sighed.
"I know."
Of all the reactions you were expecting, all the scenarios you ran in your mind, you never thought that he would say that.
Because he was your secret.
"How long have you known?" you demanded with a strangled tone.
He turned his head to look at you now, your gazes met and he decided to take a large gulp of his whisky before replying: "Ever since he slept with the first girl."
"Then you've known for..."
"Does it matter?"
Your eyes stopped shifting from side to side, the frantic train of thoughts slowed down. "Yes," you said slowly. "How come you've never told me?"
"I was going to but," he exhaled softly. "You sought me out before I could."
"So you were fine with us fucking and never acknowledging it?" you were quick to put two and two but then, "Why?"
"I thought that was what you needed."
"Joshua..." you whispered. "Why? Are you okay with–, why would you never say something about it?"
"I'm okay with whatever you want me to be," he muttered, looking straight into your eyes now. "I knew you needed me, you didn't need to tell me why. I knew."
"So all this time, when you've taunted me about it, to tell him... was it all just for fun? To get yourself off, to make yourself feel better–"
"To play my part," he sighed and went for another gulp of whisky and when you didn't say anything, he elaborated: "Famous playboy. Isn't that the reason why you went to me?"
You looked away in shame. "You're also his best friend. I figured the more excitement you'd get the less I would have to explain," It was your turn to drink from your glass, which you did so slowly.
"Was."
Your stomach dropped. Something in you had worked that out already, but you needed to hear the confirmation from him.
"What?"
Joshua took the glass between his lips, pouring the gold liquid down his throat. "Soon as he started boasting about it. I went low contact," he paused, the glass still lingering in front of his mouth before adding with a hint of disdain: "The dumbass hasn't even realized that I don't want to talk to him."
He looked at you with caution, expecting to see you crying, showing some emotion. Instead, you were mindlessly staring at the ice cubes sitting at the bottom of the now empty whisky glass.
"How did you find out, anyway?" he risked asking, trying to keep your attention still. He felt like you slipping away in your thoughts was dangerous.
"He stopped paying attention to me completely, he even recoils from my touch," you mumbled and your lip quivered a little. "So I started suspecting."
A silence followed and as the seconds went on, Joshua started getting anxious.
You licked your lips, raising your eyes and finding his. "He keeps things from the girls he sleeps with inside a box," you rasped out dryly. "Lingerie, earrings, hair ties... I'm also sure he's taken them to the house."
"Jesus," he hissed, downing the rest of the liquid to discard the glass on the coffee table and rubbing his hands on his face, trying not to succumb to the overwhelming rage he was feeling. "I'm so sorry."
"I'm not sure if he either wanted me to find it or he's too stupid to actually keep it well hidden," you sighed. "It's driving me crazy these days."
"Do you have a plan? Do you know what you'll do?" he asked, trying with all his might to derive his attention back to you.
"I have nothing," you whispered.
"Does he know you went out tonight?"
"Jake's not in town. He flew out to visit his family and friends," you rolled your eyes and scoffed.
Joshua didn't need proof to know that was a blatant lie. And it seemed that you knew it too.
You finally set back the empty glass on the coffee table and let out a tired sigh.
"Can I ask you something?" you muttered with a tiny voice.
Joshua knew what was coming. So he relaxed on the back of the couch, shifting one leg over the seat to sit facing your body. He even propped an elbow on the headrest of the couch to lean his head on his fist. 
"Shoot," he mumbled.
"Why are you doing this?" you glanced at him shyly. "You said that you no longer speak to Jake, but you pressure me to tell him either way. Are you–," you choked up again, but now due to your nervousness you started blurting: "Why do this, why agree to have an affair with me?"
"At the beginning, I felt sorry for you," he said reluctantly, feeling ashamed of himself as he looked away briefly. "You looked lonely. And I knew why. So."
"That still doesn't answer my question," you whispered, trying to read his doe eyes under the soft glow of the lamps.
He leaned his head on one side, reading the expression on your face. Your features had relaxed, no longer containing the anxiousness from before.
"Is it not obvious?" he asked back and felt his own heart race slightly, he paused and decided to say: "I'm also lonely."
You made no inquiry about the alleged rumors, everything that the media says about the women who keep coming and going in his life. But he hoped that you would catch onto slowly that it was all an act created by the media to attract people in. And he was their puppet.
"Do you mind if I ask you a question?" he returned, blinking slowly at you, unable to look at anything else but your face.
"Shoot," you echoed with a shadow of a smile.
"Do you still love him?"
You held your breath and avoided his gaze again. "No," you blurted out, guilt washing over you. "I haven't for a while. Thought that much was evident, though."
"I needed to know," he replied, feeling a light rush of ecstasy run through him upon hearing your answer.
You smiled, but there was no happiness to that smile. It was sad, and had bitterness written all over it. Joshua had to understand then that you lost a good chunk of your life when your husband decided to sleep around recklessly.
But besides the empathy he felt for you, he was livid. He wasn't a man to endorse violence, but he couldn't deny the fact that he has had to contain himself several times before when your husband was boasting about his affairs.
"Hey," Joshua whispered, running the back of his index finger on your cheek. "I'm sorry you're going through this. I really am."
Your brow furrowed a little and your eyes widened, making you look a little lost. "Thank you, Joshua. I'm sorry this probably wasn't the way you wanted your Friday night to go."
"I had no plans for tonight," he explained, blinking slowly at you, an endearing look in his eyes.
"What would a regular night look like for you anyway?" you asked, leaning back on the couch, looking at him with curiosity.
"You're looking at it," he shrugged with ease and nodded. "Minus you being here, of course."
"Be serious," you scoffed at him.
"I am," he rolled his eyes with feigned annoyance. Joshua only kept his playboy image by flirting around. every once in a while, he would take a pretty model or actress to dinner.
You seemed to ponder for a second, without tearing your eyes from his face. "Well, you not being what the world says about you is definitely something I didn't expect," you confessed.
It was Joshua's turn to smile bitterly. "Yeah, who would've thought that the real playboy was the team captain, right?"
Your husband was the team captain. You immediately flinched a little with the realization that your husband's whole public image of being the perfect man was tainted not only by himself.
"Too soon?" Joshua mumbled shamefully.
"No, it's okay," you replied and cleared your throat.
But Joshua could see the gears in your brain turning. He couldn't blame you, he knew the feeling too well. It robbed him of sleep and held his peace of mind hostage every day.
"I'm sorry for pulling you into all of this," you told him. Your eyes were sincere, dimming with some regret just before you looked away.
"Don't be," he muttered softly, putting a hand on your knee to bring you some comfort. "I wouldn't do this if I didn't want any of it."
The features of your face relaxed at that and you met his eyes again. Your pretty hand slid on top of his in a gesture of gratitude. Then a thought crossed your mind—it seemed a little crazy that in all of this mess, you'd find a friend.
Even if the lines of that friendship had become blurry.
Joshua turned the palm of his hand over, so he was properly holding your hand now. You gave him a gentle squeeze, a warm feeling flooding in your chest and that made you sigh.
Then without thinking too much, he took the cap off your head, pushing some hairs off your face with his free hand. You didn't care how tender his touch felt, you welcomed it.
"Do you want me to take you home?" he asked with a low honeyed voice.
You shook your head silently, your hand was still in his so you just took the liberty to play with his pretty fingers, lacing them with yours.
"No one is waiting for me there," you muttered with a tiny voice and Joshua felt your words punch him in the chest. He felt overwhelmed by the urge to make you feel better, to take the pain from you.
So he just let it overpower him.
His hand came up to cradle your cheek, driving your gaze back to his again. What he wasn't expecting was you leaning your face against his touch, your free hand sliding on top of his and you closing your eyes.
He ran the pad of his thumb on your cheek, feeling your soft skin, then trailed to your lips, caressing them carefully until you opened your eyes again to find his.
You pressed your lips on the pad of his thumb. It wasn't a suggestive kiss, there was nothing in your eyes that meant that fiery need to which you had pulled him out the fire exit that first night he kissed you.
It was an affectionate kiss. But it only made him want more. He craved the softness, the tenderness, he needed you wholly.
So he took his shot, leaning in to rest his forehead on top of yours, the tip of his nose pushing against yours gently and he heard your breath hitch with a tiny moan as your lips brushed against his. He waited like this, waited for you to protest against this, to push him away.
But you gave in not a second later, pressing your soft lips against his own in a slow, tender kiss. You sobbed out some nervousness when you broke away, only to dive right in again with a deeper kiss, wet lips locking slowly, as if meeting each other again.
Joshua released your hand that was previously laced with his, using it to find your waist and pulled softly, motioning you closer. You understood what he meant without him having to break the kiss to say it.
So you sloppily moved your knees on the couch to sit on his lap, straddling him. Your hands cupped his face, now demanding a hungrier kiss from him, which he responded willingly with a low grunt that coiled in his throat.
The kiss suddenly came to a stop with a smacking sound. Heavy breathing filled his ears before he opened his eyes to see the light frown on your face, your eyes desperately reading his features.
"What are we doing, Joshua?" you asked. Your voice sounded shaky and breathless.
"Going with it," he replied, heart pounding against his chest.
"But, after this. Where are we going with all of this?" you demanded and he knew you needed to get ahead of this. You were hurt and probably weren't looking to be hurt again.
Joshua squeezed your arm gently. "Wherever you want it to," he replied sincerely, his doe eyes looking up at you.
"Josh," a question formed on your lips, but then you leaned in to meet his lips with your own.
"Mm?" he responded, the soft lines between his eyebrows seemed to mark a little.
"Just..." you shook your head slightly and swallowed hard, thinking of the warmth in his hands parked in the small of your back.
Joshua understood the restlessness, the danger that you were putting yourself in by being with him like this. He felt it too. But he also knew that you thought about him everyday, all the time. Just like he thought about you.
He blinked slowly at you, with a warmth and homeliness that swept through him. "What do you want?" he asked.
You paused, seemingly absorbed by the question for a second. It was the first time in a long time that someone asked you that—it had been a while since you took into consideration what you wanted, too.
When you started this, you thought that having an affair with Joshua was a form of revenge. To get back at your husband for betraying you. But it slowly became something you couldn't stop, you became greedy about it.
Now, you weren't sure if greed was the only thing that you felt.
"I want you," you whispered, feeling a rush of adrenaline coursing through your body upon confessing it. "I don't care how. I just know that I do. I think about you every day and it's driving me crazy."
Joshua's heart pounded frantically against his chest, his eyes reading your face, trying to gather every detail in your features. He knew it already, but hearing you say it sent him into a frenzy. Nothing else mattered anymore.
His hand cupped the back of your head, pulling you into a kiss, lips sealing yours with a passion he didn't know he had inside him. He blindly searched for the scrunchie that secured your braid and pulled it, freeing your hair with a groan.
You shuddered when his fingers sank in your hair, grazing your scalp, holding a fistful to keep you in place as he kissed you hungrily, his plump lips exploring yours.
It was the first time he kissed you like this, without the haste or the snark. There was no fear of getting caught, no need to rush anything. 
"Stay the night with me," Joshua whispered into your lips, feeling his breath catch under a surge of emotions.
"Okay," you whispered back without hesitation.
"Please," he added.
"I'll stay the night," you reassured him.
"Okay," he settled, pulling you into his arms, wrapping you as he kissed your lips hungrily, a soft moan spilling into your mouth when your hands cupped the back of his head.
Joshua felt torn between the need to do things slowly, he hadn't had the chance before to have you like this. Every time he's had the opportunity to kiss you or to have sex with you it's been in lonely corridors.
He didn't want to think about whether he would ever have you here like this again. He didn't want to think of the future and that made him irrational, careless.
Blindly searching for the hem of your clothes, he broke the kiss only to start undressing you. You raised your arms when he got rid of your hoodie you didn't see where it was thrown, Joshua was on your lips again, kissing you with urgency.
"Joshua," you muffled in his mouth. "Let's go to your room."
He nodded and wordlessly motioned you to stand up from his lap, fumbling for your hand to lead you down a dimly lit hall and pushed a door open, turning on the lights to the bedroom.
The room seemed dark upon first glance, the gray bedding contrasting only with the white pillows and the dim lighting of the overhead lamps. To your surprise, the scent of cinnamon hung in the air like a vague memory. As if a candle had been lit moments before he left the apartment to work out at the gym.
Joshua tugged at your arm, pulling you to his body so that he could wrap his arms around your body, leaning his head down to capture your lips with his own with a clumsy kiss as he walked you backwards until the back of your knees touched the edge of his bed.
"Sit down," he instructed softly. "Let me take care of you, yeah?"
Your breath hitched slightly, as your body began to heat up as soon as you sat down on his bed.
In one motion he pulled off his sweatshirt, exposing his bare torso. He had minor bruises and scratches on his sides and chest, but you knew it was normal, either from training or from how easily his skin bruised. Or both. While some looked old and faint, other bruises looked black and blue.
With little care for taking his time, he removed your clothes, he wanted you bare as soon as he could so he could finally see you. All the times he has been with you like this, all the times he's had sex with you have been fully clothed.
So when you laid in his bed, wholly naked below him, he sighed out his delight over you. He pressed a knee on the edge of the mattress, placing his hands at each side of your head to lean over your body.
He hummed as he pressed kisses in your lips, once, twice. "You're so beautiful," he muttered in between as his lips moved in yours seamlessly, melting into a more demanding and passionate kiss. 
Your eyes sparked with some amazement when he pulled back. He wondered if your husband ever said that to you, because you looked befuddled for a second.
"Yeah, you are," he muttered, a small smile crowning his pretty lips. "The prettiest girl I've ever seen."
"Josh," you chuckled warmly. "Don't go all sweet on me now."
"What, you thought I couldn't be anything but horrible to you?" he teased, kissing the apple of your cheek.
"I like the way you are," you confessed when his lips trailed down to the underside of your jaw, making you whimper a little when he placed an open kiss at the base of your throat.
"Yeah?" he muttered, ignoring the feeling shaking his heart. "Why?"
"Y-you're softer than you let on," you stammered, fingers trembling as you grazed his scalp to grab his hair. "You are kind and fun to be around. You're nothing like the world says about you."
"Mmn now who's going sweet on me," he teased, reaching down to kiss your tits, littering kisses all over, not trying to be sensual or to arouse you. He was simply exploring your body with his lips.
But it was quite obvious that you would become aroused. Your body responded by tensing up under his, your fingers clenching into fists, one gripping the bed covers, the other in his hair.
"Josh," you whimpered, when his tongue lapped around one of your nipples, now teasing it with the tip of his tongue, tasting your skin with a delightful groan.
While he did the same to your other nipple, his hand cupped your breast fully, his fingers gently digging into your soft skin, licking your nipple, his tongue swirling around it. His lips wrapped around your hardened nipple and suckled at it slightly.
"Fuck," you breathed, your thighs clenching when a sharp arousing feeling shot through your body.
Joshua hummed softly, detaching his mouth from your nipple with a soft smacking sound and moved to plant a soft kiss on your lower lip. "Will you let me eat you out, baby?" he lifted a hand from the mattress to pinch your chin. "Mn?"
A hot wave sizzled beneath your skin in anticipation. "Yeah," you choked nervously. "Please do."
He smiled before diving in for another chaste kiss and climbed down the bed. His hands came up to grab your thighs from the underside of your knee and pulled your body down so your butt was aligned to the edge of the bed.
Joshua got down on his knees and you propped yourself on your elbows on the mattress to follow his movements, his hands motioning your legs to rest on his shoulders, holding your thighs to help you do so.
"You have the prettiest pussy," he sighed before pressing his lips on your pussy lips, right before lapping his tongue on your folds with a broad stroke, his hands gripping your thighs decisively. 
You let your head hang back with a low cry of pleasure, sneaking one hand to grab at his hair again, holding for dear life. His tongue explored your cunt fully, not neglecting a single inch of skin, of your folds, drinking in your arousal. 
Joshua darted a look at you. Your head was thrown back and your chest was heaving slightly, only to suck in a breath as his tongue slowly made its way up from your entrance to your clit.
"Oh, god," you gasped when he started pushing his tongue against your clit gently, teasing it first to get it to swell. The sizzling sensation beneath your skin only intensified, making you moan through clenched teeth.
A hand climbed up from your thigh and parked on your lower tummy, palm pressing back on your skin just as his tongue swirled around your clit in swift figure eight motions, unrelenting in their pace, perfectly drawing you closer to the edge.
You eased back on the mattress, biting your lip to focus on the flicking of his tongue on your clit, the way it made the muscles of your inner thighs twitch in response to the sweet teasing. "Joshua, 'm close," you sighed.
Joshua hummed in response, applying more pressure to his large hand on your lower tummy, his low moan vibrating against your sensitive bud.
You slowly fell apart, moaning his name loudly as your sweet orgasm sizzled beneath your skin, washing over you completely, making you tremble on his bed until you are half conscious.
"Joshua," you repeated his name over and over breathlessly. You had released his hair, laying languidly on the edge of his bed as you slowly came down from your high.
But Joshua wasn't done.
His tongue lapped between your folds, dipping into your entrance with a soft groan upon finding that your core throbbed for more. With a soft hum he returned to give your cunt a deep open kiss, making you flinch slightly.
"Josh, please," you breathed out. "I need you... right now." 
You sat up clumsily just as he detached his mouth from your cunt, a shudder going through you when you saw the glistening wetness dripping from his mouth and chin, which he wiped with the back of his hand.
"Come here," you motioned when he stood up and you reached out to hook your fingers on the band of his gray sweats, looking up to his eyes as you pulled both his boxers and sweats down for him to step out of them.
You grabbed his cock with one hand, rolling your hand over to his bulbous head, smearing the precum gathering on his slit to give him a few pumps. You brought his tip to your mouth, giving him shy kitty licks before darting a look to his eyes.
His hand brushed your hair gently before cupping the side of your head. "I thought you needed me, baby," he teased and nodded his head to the bed. "Lie back."
You crawled backwards on his large bed and lied back at the same time that he crawled on top of your body, slotting himself between your thighs with a sigh.
"Let me be on top," you breathed, bumping the tip of your nose against his before kissing him. "Please?"
Joshua looked at you with some amusement written in his eyes, he thought of a snarky remark, to tease you before giving into your request. But instead of that, he nodded and rolled over.
"Sit up," you asked softly, moving on your knees to straddle him.
Joshua smiled and sat up, his hands immediately reaching out to grab your waist. "What are you doing, baby?" he chuckled breathily as you sat on top of him, clumsily wrapping your legs around him.
"Just let me do this," you said with a furrowed brow, scooting so that you could align your core to his cock, guiding with your hand before pushing your hips to sheathe him inside you with one thrust.
"God," he breathed out, the tone of his voice raw as his head dropped on your shoulder. "Fuck, baby."
"D'you like that?" you asked innocently, swaying your hips gently against his and biting back a moan over how good he felt stuffed inside you.
He slowly lifted his head to face you. "Yeah, baby," he sighed with an embarrassed smile as he added: "I missed you."
You shuddered upon hearing his confession. "I m-missed you too, Josh."
"Yeah?" he mouthed.
You nodded shyly. "All the time," you admitted.
You realized that you didn't have to go fast to achieve a high, you were just fine with rutting against his hips, feeling every inch of his cock sheathed inside your warmth. The pleasure written on his face was enough for you to stifle a moan, biting your lower lip.
His dark eyes glimmered under the soft glow of the overhead lights of his room, you saw his mouth part a little before he blinked and dropped his head in your chest, muffling a raw moan in your tits. His hands firmly placed on your ass, pressing down each time you sank down on him.
"Leave him," he muttered against your chest, leaving a trail of kisses leading to your heart.
"Joshua," you whispered, your hand slid up his nape, feeling his soft black hair.
"Leave him," he asked again, now lifting his head from your chest to lock eyes with you. "Please."
You thought of telling him all of the implications of that action alone. Because you've thought about it, you wanted to. You've thought about it countless times but there was always something in the way.
"I'll help you," he swallowed hard. "I'll protect you."
"Joshua," you insisted again. "Please, don't. I can't get you more involved."
Joshua let out a breathy laugh. "I think it's a little too late for that, baby," he said slowly, his eyes glinting with some emotion as you kept bouncing gently on top of him.
You read his face, the honesty in his eyes as he kept looking at you. "Are you sure?" you muttered, holding onto his shoulders with your hands to keep your pace steady.
But he held you through, guiding the sway of your hips with his pretty hands. He nodded with his head. "I've never been more sure about something."
A sharp pain twisted inside your chest, you shuddered and rested your forehead on top of his. "Why? What changed?" you whispered against your better judgment. But you needed this.
"I want to do this," he said, but that wasn't the whole truth.
"I don't want this to hurt you in any way," you muttered.
"Come on, baby," Joshua smiled softly at you, his hands sliding up the line of your back wrapping his arms around you. "Don't go all sweet on me."
"Please Joshua," you insisted, a slight tinge of urgency humming in your tone and you pulled your forehead back to see his face fully.
Joshua's mind began to reel. He considered two things, his most instinctive reaction was to lie and deflect the very evident truth (though not to you) that he was in love with you. The second one, and one that he wasn't too keen on, was to just tell you later.
His hands traveled down to your lower back, grabbing your hips to help you move on top of him with more urgency. He didn't need to finish, but he was hoping he would distract you.
You dug your heels into the soft covers to anchor yourself and started pushing against his hips purposefully. "Why now? Tell me," you whispered. And he saw it in your eyes, you were already suspecting.
"Stay with me," he replied, his voice low but full of certainty.
"I'm not going anywhere, I told you I'd stay," you replied, your sweet voice taking a tinge of concern.
He shook his head slightly. "I don't want you to leave," he said through a ragged sigh. "Stay with me."
He knew he was crossing a line, he was about to find out if you wanted him as much as he wanted you.
Your eyes remained on his, and he wished for a second to know what you were thinking. The rolling of your hips came to a stop and Joshua thought that you'd get up and leave. His heart vibrated against his chest frantically.
You gave him a slow nod with your head, it was almost a mechanical movement. Okay, you mouthed, okay.
"Yeah?" he whispered, his eyebrow arching slightly. He licked his lips before bringing a hand up to cup your chin and kissed your lower lip softly.
You nodded with eagerness now. "Yeah," you let out a soft laugh. "Why, where does this come from?" you asked.
"What do you mean?" he hummed, egging you to retake the movement of your hips, wanting to feel your tight walls sliding on him again.
You tilted your head back as Joshua moved his lips down your chin, trailing along the line of your jaw. And you let your eyes close to focus back to the motion of your hips, his hard cock on your fluttering walls and you moaned when his lips reached your throat.
"You were meant to be mine," he murmured against your skin. "He was introducing you to me, before everything."
Jake was supposed to introduce you to Joshua. But then he decided he wanted you for himself and you didn't meet Joshua until you were already dating your husband. And it was fine by him, he thought nothing of it at first.
But then he got to meet you.
"You are..." Joshua dipped his face on the crook of your neck, letting out a soft sigh against your skin. "You are the sweetest girl I've ever met."
His lips left an open kiss on your throat, making you squirm a little and moan. Your hand shifted from the back of his head to cup his cheek and you leaned your head, breathing erratically due to the movement of your hips on him.
"Leave him," he said again, but now you felt like you were losing him to a frenzied trance. His eyes were doing that thing again, glimmering under the soft lighting of the room.
"I will, I'll leave him," you hummed and your heart stuttered, breaking over the man that was looking at you like a lost puppy.
He moaned softly when you captured his lips with your own, his hands held your body, shifting to feel your skin, your back, your arms, until they parked at your thighs, kneading softly at the rhythm of the gentle sway of your hips.
"Joshua," you sighed a moan with some urgency.
Joshua turned your body over, pressing your back onto the mattress and slotting himself between your parted thighs to sink into your walls again with a loud groan from his part.
Now on top of you, he could do what he hadn't had the chance to until that moment. As he pulled his hips back, to then press against yours again, his cock dragging in and out of you, fucking you slowly, he could only think of one thing.
"Let me love you," he muttered with a raw tone, looking into your eyes, his hand met your cheek. "Be mine."
A sob coiled in your throat, making his eyes shift to your mouth and back to your eyes. He knew he had struck something in you, and he knew what you felt.
You gave him a fucked out nod, parting your mouth but no words came out.
"Mn? D'you want me to love you?" he asked with a honeyed purr, a smile stretching his pretty lips when you nodded again. "Are you mine?"
"Yeah, yeah," you whimpered between gasps he drew out with each thrust.
He grabbed your leg, hiking your knee up his shoulder to push deeper into you again with a loud cry of pleasure from your part, making tears gather on the corners of your eyes as he started sinking his cock in your walls again.
"I'm gonna love you," he gasped, the enunciation alone robbing him of air as he slowly pushed himself into a mad love surge for you.
Pleasure bloomed inside your body, inundating you with overwhelming waves, your mouth parted further and your brows knitted. The hand that wasn't holding onto him cupped his cheek, driving his gaze to yours.
"Are you gonna come, baby?" he hummed, enjoying the look on your face when you were close.
"Yeah," you gasped out lewdly, closing your eyes to welcome in the sweet wave of pleasure that shot through you briefly. "'m so close."
"Mmn, yeah baby? Gonna come with me?" he grunted, pushing his cock into your walls, his lip quivered slightly, letting out a raw moan through. "Want me to come inside you?"
"Yeah, please. Please, Josh," you whined pathetically, letting out a strangled moan as you slowly started to lose control, sweet pleasure washing over you, making your thighs shake. "Ohh god, mn, 'm gonna–'m–,"
"I know, I know, baby," he replied gently, feeling your walls clamping down around his cock, your warmth swallowing him, tipping him over the edge too. Joshua moaned in your mouth, spilling himself into you with deep hard thrusts.
"Joshua," you squirmed under the weight of his body as he fucked you through your long and sweet orgasm, making a mess on the bed covers.
With a couple of sloppy thrusts, he waited until you stopped shaking to ease your leg back to the mattress, carefully and pressed his chest against yours. He decided to remain quiet, relaxing into the gentle shock of confessing so much in a span of a couple of minutes.
But he just turned his head, bumping the tip of his nose against the underside of your jaw before pressing a kiss on your skin. Breathing tiredly under his weight you caressed his back with your hands, feeling his soft skin and you let out a soft hum.
"Should we... let's get cleaned up," you muttered after some time, breaking the peaceful silence.
The weight of his body between your legs had started to cause some discomfort around the joints of your hips, but even then you didn't want him to break away from you.
With heavy reluctance, Joshua peeled from your body, climbing off the bed and offered you his hand again to follow him down the hall and to the bathroom, where you washed.
"I can lend you some of my clothes," he offered quietly when you came back to his bedroom, wrapped in one of his bathrobes.
He finished putting on some black boxers when he raised his head and found you standing in front of his large bed. He sat down on one corner, reaching over to you and wrapped his long fingers around your wrist to motion you between his thighs.
"Are you feeling a bit better?" he asked, reading your face, he saw that the color had returned to your lips.
"Yeah, I am," you whispered, caressing his shoulder with the palm of your hand. "I'm a bit scared, Josh."
"I know," he admitted, brushing your damp hair with his fingers and tucking it behind your ear carefully. "But we can plan this together. You're not alone."
That made your glimmering eyes lock with his. It felt like a blow to your chest to come to grips that Joshua was willing to help you and even more so, that he loved you.
"Thank you, Joshua," you said, the knot coiling in your throat stealing your voice. "For everything."
Joshua just nodded silently, bringing your hand to his lips to press soft kisses in your knuckles. "Let's sleep, okay? We'll plan tomorrow."
You wore one of his t-shirts to sleep, wrapped in his manly scent and his gray bed sheets.
At the beginning, you laid facing each other at arm's length. He assumed that you needed space, as it was the first time you slept with him.
So he was beginning to prepare for another sleepless night, but this time he was looking at the subject of his unrest. Even if you were right there with him, the pressing matter of getting you out of your failing marriage by any means necessary was causing him worry.
It took him several seconds to realize that you were still awake. Your eyes were closed, but you slowly moved your body closer to his, until your face nestled into the warmth of his neck. Joshua sighed with a smile and that made you tilt your head back so you could see his face.
"Go to sleep, baby," you whispered, looking at him fondly. "We'll plan tomorrow."
At that moment, he wrapped his strong arms around you, giving you a slow, languid kiss that went on until he couldn't kiss you anymore, until his body begged him to rest.
Joshua doesn't know how he managed to fall asleep in your arms, he believes that it was the gentle rhythm of your heartbeat that served as the best lullaby he could ever ask for.
He wished for more nights like this with you, though he wasn't sure when that would be possible.
Nor of the consequences it would bring.
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› a/n: this was supposed to be a drabble
but to answer your question @thatgirlfromwindsor: i think joshua is an ass man. yeah 🤔
if you liked this, lemme know! a comment, a like, reblog, anything is appreciated! drop me an ask if you wanna, send me your filthy reqs, or not ᨐฅ💖
anyway now, i swear that next update will be city lights pt 8, i promise hehe
love you all (⸝⸝ᵕᴗᵕ⸝⸝)♡
toodles
join my taglist | buy me a coffee? ♡
© RIGHTS RESERVED TO HANNIEWEEN I DO NOT ALLOW TRANSLATIONS, CONTINUATIONS, REIMAGINATIONS OF MY WORKS OR THEIR REPOSTING ON OTHER WEBSITES.
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rinhaler · 8 months ago
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I Guess I Can't State My Feelings Too Soon
Your big brother is jealous and he hates himself for it :(
✧˖*°࿐: 18+ only, no minors.    ✧. ┊ step brother!taiju shiba x f!reader
Genre: porn! (minimal plot) Notes: my first tokyorev fic since i moved blogs wheeee did NOT think it would be taiju but i cannot stop thinking about that man Warnings: 18+, fem!reader, stepcest!, jealousy ♡, possessiveness, co-dependency, virgin!reader, male masturbation ♡, sex toys ♡, porn consumption, panty theft ♡, unhealthy relationship, power dynamics. Words: 3.5k
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He often wonders if you realise how ungrateful you come across, sometimes. Not only ungrateful, but disrespectful to boot.
Do you know how hard your big brother works? You’ll say you do, if he were to ask. But he’s sure you have no idea. He shielded you from the horrors of his world as you were thrust upon him out of nowhere. His new, beautiful step-sister who’s eyes would spill tears around raised voices. What choice did he have? You’d never understand or be able to comprehend his way of life or the world he had built for himself and his family.
As your other siblings grew up and drifted away, Taiju kept you dependent on him. He made it so you had to rely on him for everything. He’s putting you through fashion school while subsidizing your very existence. He keeps you fed and clothed all in the comfort of his beautiful penthouse.
You want for nothing.
And he’s never made you feel inadequate for your obvious dependency.
He doesn’t use it as a weapon or hold it against you. He just adores you, wholly. His beautiful little sister, the sweet little darling who needs her big brother to do everything for her. It motivates him, truthfully. When things feel hard, mundane, tedious, he reminds himself who he’s doing it for.
“I’ll see you tomorrow, Takashi.” you smile, giddily, waving like a schoolgirl with a crush as you watch him leave.
He waves, too. A wide grin on his face as his eyes scrunch up with joy. It soon fades, though, as he finds himself accidentally walking right into your brother’s chest. Taiju’s expression harrows, though you don’t register it as you focus on the way Takashi smiles at you before excusing himself.
You’re ungrateful, and disrespectful.
His neck and jaw jerk as he tears off his tie. He’s visibly irritated, but you’re too naïve to realise. You greet him, excitedly, though you’re soon left feeling dejected when he opts to ignore you instead.
“Get me some wine from the cellar.” he demands. Without a please or even a glance in your direction, you know something is wrong. You’ve never been one to deny him, however, slinking away to the lounge to retrieve an aged red from the wall-built cellar.
He looks at you when you return, sliding the bottle to him across the marble countertop of the kitchen island separating you. It’s a brief look, that makes your heart throb with hurt. He’s mad at you, but you don’t know why. Soft yellow eyes that only offer gentle glances are showing you a side to your brother you didn’t know existed.
His pupils are almost slitted like a wild animal, eyes you’ve never seen before where your brother is concerned. He sighs, watching the cogs clank in your brain as you try and analyse who this man is before you.
Luckily for you, he doesn’t think he’s capable of staying angry with you.
“Would you like a drink, little sister?” he questions. It stops you from thinking, momentarily.
It’s a first. He’s never let you drink before, let alone his prized cellar wine. You take a seat on the bar stool regardless, nodding excitedly at the prospect of having your first real drink with your favourite brother. He twists off the lid and slides the glass he’d gotten for himself over to you.
Your heart rate quickens as his eyes, those same, predatory eyes, remain fixated on you as he pours. The wine spills like blood, sloshing into your glass until it’s halfway full. And somehow, without even watching what he’s doing, he managed to not spill a drop.
He takes off his blazer and sets it down on the counter. You watch him as he rolls up his sleeves and turns away from you to fetch another glass for himself. His muscles flex and you see his exposed, veiny arms sheen with sweat as he reaches up to grab the nearest glass.
“Pour it for me.” he tells you, setting it down as he turns to face you again. His eyes seem tired, now, but still unfamiliar to you. And so you find yourself nodding, doing exactly what your big brother has asked as your hairline begins to form beads of sweat.
You don’t look at him, not even briefly, as you start to pour. You’re slow and patient, but you feel him staring at you all the while. And it’s menacing. Even with patience and focus, you spill a drop onto the pristine marble.
“I’m sorry,” you tell him.
You move to find something to wipe it up with, but he stops you before you can even jump down from the stool. He presses his thick thumb into the cherry red liquid, seemingly absorbing it all before he raises it to his lips. You watch keenly as your brother’s tongue juts seductively from his lips before he meticulously licks over the pad of his thumb to taste it.
He clears his throat and leans across countertop.
You feel so small.
“Was that your boyfriend?” he wonders, eyes glued to you as he speaks with a low, gravelly tone. He sips soon after, making mental notes of your responses as you process his words.
“U-Um, no, Taiju,” you shake your head. You feel blistering heat in your face as you think about your classmate, and the intimate thoughts you’ve had about him for weeks now, all while your brother’s attention is entirely fixed on you. “We’re in the same class! He came to drop off some books he thought might help me.”
It’s a confession that is entirely the truth. He isn’t your boyfriend and you’re sure he never will be. Not unless he makes the first move, that is. You’re far too shy to even suggest that your feelings for him a more intense than they should be for simple classmates. Taiju nods, finally looking away from you as he takes another drink.
“Finish up and go to bed.” he commands.
You nod, too nervous to argue. You’ve never seen him like this or even heard him be so curt with you. It won’t bother you to go to bed, not one bit. Hopefully tomorrow he’ll be back to his usual, loving self.
He leaves you alone as he strides towards his study, finally giving you the chance to breathe. You knock back the remainder of your wine and pick up your book bag and school supplies, your pace hastening as you get closer to your room.
“Oi.” Taiju speaks, voice booming through the hallway before you can open the door to your bedroom. He leans against the doorframe to his office, arms folded as his eyes squint at you. “If you want to have people over, clear it with me first.” he demands.
“Oh,” you sigh, and it’s riddled with relief as you realise that is what the problem has been all along. He’s upset you’ve invited a stranger into his home without asking. It’s understandable, and you’re soon smiling again as you look at him. “Of course. I’m sorry. I didn’t think you’d mind.” you admit, regretting it almost instantly as it soon feels irrelevant to have said.
“I don’t want boys I don’t know here alone with my little sister.” he tells you.
He approaches, and your anxiety soars once again as you sense a looming threat in the air and the shortening distance between the two of you. He smirks as he takes your chin between his thumb and forefinger, your breath hitching at the contact while he forces you to look into his saffron gaze.
“You are very dear to me,” he confesses, “If anyone were to take advantage of you… well. You’re going to do as I ask next time, aren’t you? We won’t have to worry about that.”
“Of course… I’m so sorry, I should have—”
“You should.” he snarls. “But I forgive you. Go to bed, now.”
You nod, feeling slightly more upbeat after hearing he’s accepted your apology. He stops you from retreating to your room, though. His large, heavy hand encasing your forearm in a tight grip whilst his thumb still caresses your chin. It drifts, though, pulling the fat of your lower lip before he pulls it away. He taps his own lip twice, his expression still unamused as he looks at you.
“A goodnight kiss, princess,” he orders. You nod, it’s not out of the ordinary to kiss him goodnight. You stand on your tip toes before leaning in to peck his lips. They’re soft, and fit against yours beautifully as both of your eyes close during the contact. It’s chaste, to the point, and yet you’ve never felt an intensity during a kiss from him like you have just now.
His eyes are gentle, again. And the smile he offers is earnest. He kisses your cheek before you go, whispering in your ear sensually enough for a chill to traverse down your spine.
“Good girl.”
He opens the door to your room, remaining in place until you go inside. He shuts it after you get inside, leaning his back against the nearest wall as his head thuds against it. The cold metal of his rings cools down his flushed face, though he finds himself breathless.
Not from the act of a simple kiss, it’s the shame. Feelings for you, his sweet little sister, bubbling to the surface despite trying to repress them for so many years. He’s jealous and he’s ashamed of himself for letting things go this far. But you are his.
His sister.
His responsibility.
His property.
“Jesus Christ—”
He catches himself. He kicks away from the wall and rakes his fingers through tousled hair as he decides to distract himself with work in his office.
It’s taken blood and sweat to reach what he’s achieved. From being a sixteen year old menace to society, he’s now a highly respectable businessman with a chain of restaurants under his belt. Among other, less legal sources of income, of course.
It’s all for you.
As he looks through business expenses and documents from his lawyers, all he can think of is you.
It’s all been for you.
It’s always been for you.
He pushes his hair out of his face, noticing how it’s starting to cling to his forehead as he sweats profusely. Thoughts of you plaguing his every thought. His cock begins to throb in his slacks. His eyes drift from the papers scattered across his desk to his computer monitor. And then, slowly, they sink to the locked top drawer of his desk.
“Fuck,” he mutters. He ignores the drawer, instead, deciding to ignore his responsibilities as he types Pornhub in the search engine. “Are you fucking kidding me?” he speaks, exasperated as the homepage is flooded with an assortment of trending step sibling videos.
His heart pounds as he scrolls for a while, but eventually finds the willpower to click away, opting to find something else. He’s a simple man with simple taste. He’s always been into rougher stuff, deciding something along those lines will be best to quickly rub one out and clear his mind so he can focus on what he actually needs to be getting on with.
He clicks on a video, immediately cringing at the corny plot and dialogue as he unbuttons his shirt and rids himself of his belt. He’s panting as he pulls out his cock. If he’s been honest, his cock has been leaking since you fetched his wine so obediently.
He hisses when he realises he’s thinking about you again.
And soon enough he’s willing himself to concentrate on the girl in the video getting fucked within an inch of her life. It’s loud, rough, aggressive. Just how he likes. He tugs desperately, a vein popping in his forehead as he eagerly tries to get off to what he’s seeing.
It’s your fault.
He’s wondering if you’d ever be into fucking like this. He’s sure you’re a virgin, so he’d have to be careful with you at first.
“Fucking stop,” he whines.
He wants to cum to her, the girl in the video. It’s a lie, though. He wants to cum to you. He wants to hear how gorgeous you’d sound if he were the one to defile you for your very first time. Your own step brother, infiltrating your walls and making you cum around his cock.
“Shit,” he keeps trying to concentrate on her. His eyes soon wandering to the locked drawer again. He glances one final time at the video, grunting as he continues to fuck his fist until ultimately giving up.
He searches something new. Something he’s never beat one off to before. Softcore virgin. He grimaces as his finger hovers above the enter key, he knows he won’t be able to finish otherwise, but part of him thinks it’s not too late to turn back. His eyes widen slightly, taken aback by the sheer amount of results that are step-sibling videos. He considers it, again. He really does, but as he continues to scroll, he starts to take an interest in the masturbation videos.
The soft, feminine moans immediately make his cock jump. It’s perfect, it’s so sickeningly perfect because he can pretend it’s you. And if he’s this far gone, he feels no need to deprive himself anymore. He lifts up his keyboard, sliding the locked drawer key from a hidden compartment underneath. His hands are practically shaking as he tries to slide it into the slot. He quickly turns, breathing heavily as he almost rips the drawer from its place as he opens it.
He scoffs as his hand flies to a clear fleshlight, yanking it out and setting it down on his desk before he retrieves what he’s really been avoiding this whole time.
You’ve never had to do laundry, and he doesn’t do it either. He hires staff to come through the week to do tedious things like cleaning the apartment and washing dirty clothes. It’s been about a fortnight since he saw an opportunity laid bare before him.
You were at school, a fact now he’s growing to despise as he imagines you flirting with Takashi Mitsuya during your classes. But he was working from home, too irritated to handle business dealings in person on that particular Thursday. And he happened to see a maid emerge from your room with a laundry basket, a frilly pink thong atop a pile of outfits you’d worn through the week to college.
He wrestled with himself, he did.
But it wasn’t too difficult to distract the maid for long enough to pocket them for himself.
The video continues to play, his cock gushing as he stares down at your panties. He’s too far gone. He’s too aroused and his mind is muddied as he thinks about everything going on in his life and yours. You’re too honest to lie, Mitsuya isn’t your boyfriend, but that doesn’t mean he’ll never be.
He snatches the thong and strokes his cock with it in hand. His eyes roll back, a broken moan leaving his lips as he continues to pleasure himself. He stops abruptly, though, as the woman in the video he’s watching stops teasing her clit. She shows off a dildo, slowly rubbing it through her wet folds until she eventually begins to push it inside of herself.
She’s cute, but she isn’t you.
If he closes his eyes, however, she is. He looks to his fleshlight, deeming this the closest he’ll get to fucking you no matter how desperately he yearns for it. He carefully guides his tip into the plastic pussy, moaning a little louder than intended as he bottoms out.
He bites his lip as he recalls the woman in the store squeezing her thighs together as she helped him pick the toy out. It makes him laugh, briefly, as he recalls how forward she had been. He fucked her in the changing rooms as she insisted she’d need to see what he was packing so that she could help him pick the perfect model.
She sent him away with the biggest size.
Your pussy won’t feel like this, though. He’s certain you won’t be so generous and accommodating. Your tight little virgin cunt will fight against him, but he’ll make it fit.
“Jesus, fuck—” he groans, admitting defeat for the final time as he brings your panties to his face and almost suffocates himself with the material.
His chest swells as he inhales, before it deflates with shuddering breaths as he savours the scent of your used unmentionables. He picks up the pace with his toy in tandem with the woman in the video. His moans are boisterous and uncaring, he’s lost the ability to feel shame as he imagines you bouncing on his cock crying his name and trying to become accustomed to his length.
He needs it more than air.
He needs it more than he needs to fucking breathe.
“Shit, ah—” he grunts, he bites his lip as he continues to pound into the fucktoy in his grip. He grunts stridently as he spurts into the fleshlight. He watches through heavy, lidded eyes at the clear plastic, watching how his balls tighten and deposit his creamy load into the faux pussy. “Fuck, Taiju.” he sighs, but laughs as he slowly begins to stroke himself with the toy. He hisses, feeling sensitive from his release as he milks himself of every last drop he can drain.
He exhales breathlessly once he’s done. His chest rising and falling as he allows his body to melt into his leather chair. He looks around the room, and he looks at himself. The crushing reality of what he’s just done weighs down on him. He’s spent, but finds enough energy to put your panties back in the drawer, locking it promptly.
The fleshlight, on the other hand, he leaves out after making space for it on his desk. He winces as it rolls and his sperm begins to drip out onto the glossy, chestnut tabletop. The comedown from is euphoria is like reaching a new low. He can’t even bear to look at the scene of his filthy indiscretion any longer.
But as he’s about to stand, the door swings open.
“Taiju?” you pout.
He scrambles to hide his exposed lower half under his desk and dump some of the papers littering his desk over the sticky fleshlight. He can’t hide the grimace on his face as the corner of one of his documents begin dampen from his cum.
“O-Oh, sorry, I forgot to knock… I should have knocked.”
“Yes, you should.” He says, gruffly, “What is it?”
You’re quiet, allowing your sock covered foot to glide across the wood flooring as you awkwardly look down at them. It’s not like you’re scared to talk to your brother, but you know he doesn’t like to be interrupted when he’s in here. And you don’t want to embarrass him.
“Answer.” his order startles you, his voice almost thunderous as he commands your attention. Your eyes fill with water, but you bat the tears away as you speak.
“I thought I heard you yelling. Or… in pain.” you tell him, voice below a whisper as you confess you’ve been unintentionally listening. “I thought you might have hurt yourself.”
Pink dusts over his face, you can even see it from only the light of the monitor. He looks around, suspiciously, though you don’t notice or comment on it.
“Why were you listening to me? Can’t you sleep?” he wonders. “… Don’t worry. I’m fine.” he assures you.
“I was worried. A-About earlier. I don’t like it when you’re mad at me… I promise I haven’t got a boyfriend and I’ll never bring anyone here without permission again.”
He smirks at that, all of his teeth bared and you still don’t understand what kind of sick depraved man your big brother really is. Maybe you aren’t as ungrateful or disrespectful as he thought; it was wrong of him to even assume that when you’ve been nothing but a doll the whole time he’s known you.
You poor thing.
You’ve been fretting over your brother’s wellbeing and state of mind since he sent you to bed so long ago. He’s been on your mind this whole time. You’re more like your big brother than you even realise, he thinks.
You’re so timid.
So obedient.
So good.
“You must be so tired, princess…” he coos, and you nod dumbly. He tuts, feeling sorry for your innocent nature and naivety, but sweet little you thinks he’s sympathetic to your exhaustion. “Do you want me to help you sleep? Shall I play with your hair like I used to when we were younger?”
“Really?” you ask, eyes lighting up at the proposition.
“Of course,” he nods, grinning wildly. “What are big brothers for?”
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