#the same goes for lusi

[zhanglinghez]

it's so annoying how every single time a shuxin's drama airs, people complain about her voice, EVERY SINGLE TIME 😮‍💨 tiring...

[mejomonster]

OK so while it's totally cool if you want to see The Legend of Anle (I heard it's like Nirvana in Fire but instead of the main prince it's the girl? Also probably a bit less Complex cinema than NiF or else NiF wouldn't be so many people's favorite I'm guessing)

But I'm not a very big fan of diliraba so ill be holding off. If anyone is really impressed with her or gong juns acting though, I may check it out at some point (I guess similar to The Ballad etc show with Diliraba where i watched about 1/4)

[lovenonymously]

My good people of Tumblr! You know when you love something so much, you just have to share it?

Niché fandom fanfic rant incoming, you've been warned:

Writing fanfics for a smaller fandom is 100% self indulgence, but despite how small it is an it's been since the show came out, the Love Like the Galaxy fandom is pretty active on AO3!

Recently, Infinity by the talented MoodyScorpio got completed. It's a fix-it sort of fic that enhances the canon in ways I didn't think were possible despite the many hours I've dwelled over LLTG. I was surprised in the best way!! Speaking of which, they started a new fic today called Splendid Stars which I'm very excited to read!

One of my all time favourite LLTG fics is Just a Dream by the amazing raileypink. This is probably my most favourite fic on AO3. It offers themes of time-travel and chances of do-overs yet doesn't make the story a repetition of canon. Instead, the sweet moments are sweeter, the tense moments are filled with twists. Every time this fic updates, I leave everything I'm doing to go read it!

Then we have KimberlyA's reimagining of LLTG called Reverse Love Like the Galaxy. Apart from the writer being one of the biggest supporters for anyone who writes for the LLTG fandom, they've crafted quite the intriguing story! It's not just a gender-swap, the characters are more than just put into gender-defying roles that would make a mess of the time period the show is set in. No, it offers a refreshing take with a "what if?" factor where the characters keep their strengths and depict their flaws; both known and original plots entwining quite well. I'm looking forward to seeing where this fic goes!

And lastly, if you're still here, I too am writing a fic that's a crossover between Love Like the Galaxy and Who Rules the World. Cheng Shaoshang and Bai Fengxi are two characters so brilliantly played by Zhao Lusi are two of my all-time favourite female leads. When the time called for it, Shaoshang chose to put herself before the volatile nature of Huo Buyi. Her saying "He is my most beloved person in the world. But I am still me." both surprised me and changed my perspective fundamentally. It explained so easily how selfish and self-preservation are not the same.

But I needed something more. I needed her to get a chance to grow up, to know what freedom tasted like, to know what it is like to love herself before she loves others or is loved by others.

And so, The Wind of Fire was born, where Cheng Shaoshang becomes Bai Fengxi. Shaoshang is certainly younger and more faminine than Bai Fengxi, who has a regal aura about her while holding up as one of the most powerful people in the Martial Arts World. But in essence, they're the same. They're both courageous and mischievous, stubborn and steadfast, both very capable young women.

It's ongoing and updating, you can find me on AO3 as aprilrayne. Below are some edits I made for the fic!

Apart from the fics I've shared, which are all ongoing there are a hundred more fics to go through. Some with happy endings, some with characters going their own ways. Whatever your preference, there is something for everyone!

[thestormthatrises]

#Moshang

The day An Ding stood still.

Now, everyone knows that the Lord of An Ding does not stop. If SQH isn't on his peak, making sure it's running perfectly, he's running around the other peaks of CQ trying to get his Martial siblings to do the same (or just Do their jobs), helping out his Martial nieces and nephews and generally carrying the sect on his back.

(Or he's out. Namely on missions, sure, but really he's in the demon realm keep MBJ's kingdom and LBH's empire in check too)

So it's weird, one day, for one of his Head disciples to not see his shizun up and early for morning rounds.

He waits.

And waits.

And waits.

And nothing.

Was shizun on a 'mission' and no one told him about it?

Concerned that he got his schedule wrong, Quan Peilun goes to Sqh's leisure house. Just to check.

There he finds... Shizun.

A sleeping shizun.

It's both a sad and endearing sight, to see his Shizun sleeping so peacefully surrounded by piles and piles of work.

Shizun is so diligent, so caring, so smart... No one but the disciples of AD and *him* truly See how good and virtuous and important SQH is. No one knows what he sacrifices for everybody. No one cherishes his hard work.

It's sad and frustrating but Shizun never gets actually mad about it. It's just the way things are, he says with a resigned sigh. A sigh of someone Who tried and failed so many times to change things. 'Just... Do no evil but take no shit, yeah?' Shizun colorfully says.

Shizun is so strong. His disciples can't help but be mad. Can't help but ressent. Can't the poison that seeps into their hearts with each disrespect to Them and theirs. CQ had no right to treat them as badly as they did. Had no right to mock and insult their hard working shizun as they did!

Specially when Shizun was this exhausted all the time...

Peilun sighed and made his way thru the towers of papers and maps and trinkets To wake SQH up.

"Shizun" He called out. "Shizun, forgive your disciple but it's morning" he explained, gently shaking his master. "Shizun, please wake up. Today is a busy day, like you said and--"

But SQH did not wake up.

Peilun frowned, concerned. "Shizun?"

He shook him harder. Again. Harder. Again. The young cultivator felt panic rush up his blood stream.

"Shizun?"

Asking forgiveness to all gods that praised filial piety, he struck SQH across the face.

Nothing.

Absolutely nothing.

"Shizun!!"

This was a crises. An absolute nightmare situation.

Never, since the war with the great demon emperor (that took away most of CQ's cultivators, leaving only inexperienced disciples under the leadership of the Qing generation), had AD been without SQH.

Even when He was kidnapped by *him* (and none of the other peak lord's tried to save SQH like they tried for SQQ's corpse), shizun had always managed to send messages, warnings and advice.

Thru thick and thin, Shizun had been there for them and now he was...

He was...

No.

They wouldn't name it.

The head disciples closed ranks. There were four of them. There needed to be four of them because shizun was a god and did, on a good day, the job of four people all it once.

So he needed four head disciples. One for AD, one for CQ, one for the Other sect, and one for espionage.

Two boys and two girls.

And yet, even with four of them, no one could keep a level head.

"Oh Shizun" cried Zhao Lusi as they huddled over his bed. "Please wake up"

"Stop crying! He's fine! He's sleeping!" Insisted Han Shuo. "They Have been running him ragged. We've been telling him again and again to take a break. His body must've given out" the boy decreed, firmly to squash his own doubts.

"We should call *him"* Chen yuanyuan said, causing horror in the other three.

"Not *him*!!!"

"are you crazy?? *He* will take shizun away again and I doubt anyone *here* will want to fight to bring him back!"

"They'll just let him to freeze over *there* or worse become --"

"And *he'll* be SO disappointed in us" Lusi cried again. "Oh shizun, shizun, what do we do?"

"we can't ask *him* for help. We just can't. It'll just make everything worse!"

"Then who?? We can't let the peak know. It'll be chaos."

"*They* won't care"

"Wait... We don't know that"

"Are you joking? They would rather see him dead in a ditch than ever help shizun"

"But maybe not them... Maybe just Mu Qingfang?"

Han Shao and Zhao Lusi nervously giggled, unsure if Peilun was being serious.

"Have we all taken stupid pills today? Remember when shizun asked for a resident medic for our peak and MAF said he couldn't spare a single person?"

"because they were 'too busy'"

"Shizun had to send a whole class outside the sect to learn how to be healers because he refused to even teach one of us basic aid" Lusi lamented. "Oh shizun..."

"Yeah but... Maybe time's have changed?" Yuanyuan tried. "They begged him to return"

"I'm writing a letter to Zhao Hua Temple. One of the monks owes Shizun a favor"

"Well, I'm going to call on Mu-shushu"

"You're going to waste breath!"

"Then it will be my breath wasted, Han Shao!" Yuanyuan exclaimed. "It's better than to do nothing!"

"I'm not doing nothing!I just don't want waste time!" He huffed. "We need tobe quick and the best... Shizun he..." He huffed. " They won't do the best. Not for him."

"...We have to try."

------------

Mu Qingfang didn't do his best. He didn't even try. He didn't come.

Of course, there were excuses. So many excuses. But no matter how much the girl pleaded, on her knees, her head stuck to the ground... The healer would not come.

'when he wakes, tell him to come to me'

Yuanyuan could barely breath at the insult. Rage. Liquid rage and hurt and disgust ran a storm thru her being.

How could he??

How could they!

It was all she could do not to scream at the Healing Lord's face.

'Dont show them you're upset.' Shizun had taught her.

'Some people live off of making others miserable. Don't feed the trolls' Shizun had such a funny way of speaking. She missed it so much.

And only because of that, she contained her bitter tears.

'Dont get upset, Yuanyuan' Shizun had also said. 'get even'

-----

Peilun crumpled the letter from Zhao Hua Temple in his hand.

They told him they would send a healer but only in a fortnight's time. Excuses were had, of course. Excuses, excuses...

It was funny. Nobody liked Shizun's excuses when he legitimately couldn't do something

They all just made him work harder and harder until they got their wishes met.

Fury. Cold and unrelenting fury took over his heart.

What were they,these good and noble cultivators? Useless, ungrateful piles of secrets and degeneracy!

None of them had been worthy of Shizun's help. Not then and never now, never in the future!

'Dont be upset Peilun' Shizun's calm voice echoed thru his aching heart. 'This world is a rotten place. Where the beautiful, the strong and the rich fount their treasures and rest Their feet in the the poor and weaks' necks. That's why we must stick together. We are An Ding first, anything else second' Shizun had said.

'Take that rage to protect and care for our own'

---------

The final straw for Han Shuo came in the form of a shattering kick to the back from a Bai Zhan disciple.

"Hey, duckling" the brute said, pulling at his yellow robes. "Liu-shifu wants to know where the new training dummies are at?"

Heaving thru the blinding pain Han Shuo said: "...They are delayed" through his teeth.

"Again?!" Came from his assailant

"Can't anyone in this stupid peak do their job?" Came from one of his goons

"How long will we have to wait this time?" Another said.

"A peak as useless as its lord"

And that was it.

He snapped.

Han Shuo couldn't, for the life of him, remember what happened next but, in moment, he has been kneeling on the ground, papers scattered around him as he struggled to breathe and then....

His hands were bloody.

He was holding a Bai Zhan boy By the throat.

His cheeks were hot and wet

He was screaming. Screaming as loud and as menacing as he could.

The words didn't seem his own.

"FUCK YOU! FUCK ALL OF YOU! I'LL KILL ALL OF YOU, YOU ENTITLED, USELESS LITTLE SHITS!'

'Senseless violence leads nowhere, Shuo-er'

That's what Shizun had said.

'But sometimes, just sometimes, bitches get stitches'

------

All of them converged back to Shizun's room, fire in their heart and thunder j. Their gaze.

Zhao Lusi had been the one that volunteered to stay behind and care for the unconscious peak lord.

Her tears had yet to stop. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't Keep her sorrow in check. Just looking at her precious shizun like that, so soft and vulnerable and... Motionless.

Forced into a peace similar to... To the dead.

Her heart ached and tore.

Shang Qinghua didn't deserve this, whatever it was.

He deserved rest, for sure.

He deserved a long, well deserved rest. And pampering. And honors. No one in this world deserved it more than he in her eyes. But he deserved to be awake to enjoy them. He deserved so much more. So much more than his mere disciples could give...!

"Oh Shizun..." She silently cried, gently combing his long curly hair, working away the knots of neglect as the other head disciples raged on.

"--I CAN'T BELIEVE HIM!"

"--I CANT BELIEVE THEM!!"

"--THE NERVE IF THOSE LITTLE PRICKS"

"AFTER EVERYTHING SHIZUN DID FOR MU SHUSHU!"

"Shizun..."

"--I SWEAR! I COULD KILL ALL OF THEM!"

"--UNWORTHY, GREEDY... SWINE!"

"--And they have the nerve to call themselves siblings! I would never have abandoned one of our own like that and--"

Eventually it all became too much.

"Gods! Stop!" Lusi demanded. "Just stop!"

She repeated, catching the other three's attention.

"This isn't helping! This isn't helping Shizun!" She continued to chastise. "Shizun... Needs us. We need to come together and stop and... And fix it!" Her voice wavered just by looking down at SQH. "An Ding first, damnit"

Silence finally reigned between them.

She was right.

SQH *was* An Ding.

No matter how mad and justified they were, none of those feelings was waking SQH up.

And he needed them.

Lusi went back to her self appointed task, her tears gently falling from her sweet, round face

"The world should stop to" She whispered, running gently oiled fingers thru Shizun's brown curls. "It doesn't seem right" Shizun carried the world on his shoulders. Why did it keep going when SQH could not?

Yuanyuan's came alight with those words.

"That's it!"

"what's it?" Han Shuo asked, tense and heart heavy.

"That's what we'll do!"

"...What are you talking about?" Peilun sighed, tiredly.

"We'll stop!" Yuanyuan announced. "An Ding is going to stop everything until the medic from Zhao Hua Temple comes"

"W-what?"

"Think about it, guys!" She was almost manic in her explanation. "*They* need us for everything. From their badic food and administration to their little comforts and trinkets. The Sects need An Ding for commerce and goods-- to say nothing of the protection of our regions! We can't do our job without Shizun's final say!" She smiled, wickedly please. "If we stop, if we all just stop, they'll be without! They won't know what to do without us and Shizun! They'll--"

"They'll have to come"

"They will ALL have to come" Yuanyuan corrected.

"And they can't force us to work either because of *him*"

"By all the gods in Heaven!! That's brilliant!!"

"We need an assembly. Everyone has to be on board but I think they will be and then we'll strike them where it hurts!"

"Yes! We'll strike!!"

[alloveydovey]

Hellooooo, dramas from this past month :) I had a lot of fun watching most of these, which hadn't been happening lately.

The Story of Park’s Marriage Contract, 2023 (kdrama) 7.5/8

A woman from the past travels to the future where she meets a man who resembles her deceased husband. In need of a wife, he strikes a contract with her, and blah blah blah, you know what happens next.

The chemistry was there 100%, the comedy too, but overall, I think it was just a mid watch for me. I was three episodes away from finishing but was struggling big time because I was getting bored.

The Romance of Tiger and Rose, 2020 (cdrama) 8

A scriptwriter ends up inside her own creation as a side character who dies early on in the drama and has a really bad reputation.

This was hilarious. Laughing out loud alone type of hilarious. It didn't make any sense at all, and it was extremely silly and sometimes even frustrating, but both actors were so great with the comedy (Zhao Lusi the actress that you are), so everything was just fun and romantic and cute... and weird enough, emotional af as well. I love these types of dramas where, after watching, you kinda feel empty inside lol. Comfort drama material? 100%

My Demon, 2023/24 (kdrama) 8

A demon becomes powerless after crossing paths with a cold heiress (who he obviously knew in their, guess what? Yes, past lives)

Kim Yoo Jung and Song Kang (his character is everything) were so cute in this! Their chemistry was definitely chemistring. I loved the concept and all, but for some reason, I couldn’t put my whole heart into this drama, which resulted in me being a bit disappointed. I’d get bored sometimes. I still don’t know if it’s my problem though. Maybe it wasn't the right time to watch it since I had been watching so many dramas with similar storylines. I’ll give them this, though, these two were truly a comedic duo™️

My Man is Cupid, 2023/24 (kdrama) 8

A love fairy accidentally shoots himself with an arrow and ends up in love with a human, condemning him and his group of cupids to 500 years on Earth. In modern day, he gets entangled with a veterinarian who might be connected to what happened in the past. Also! Murder mystery.

This one just goes to prove that liking a drama is all about vibes for me. Is this different from what I’ve been watching? Nope. It’s not better than the other ones above with similar premises. Yet somehow, unlike the others, it got my attention way more, and I totally binged it. Even when this particular one had some very confusing, probably so-so writing, moments. Granted, it has Nana in it. Nana makes everything worth it (Jang Dong Yoon was cute as well lol).

My Girlfriend is a Gumiho, 2010 (kdrama) (rewatch!) 7.5 ⭐️

A cute gumiho saves an irresponsible rich kid who wants to become an action star by giving him her bead. Both of them gotta stick together while he heals.

Like I said back when I first saw this, COMFORT!! And I was in the mood for something silly and sweet after the same themes over and over again. I can't get over how cute Shin Min A and Lee Seung Gi are in this.

Falling Into You, 2022 (cdrama) 9

A student-athlete wants to do high jump but doesn't have the required height for the sport, so a postgraduate student-coach decides to take him under her wing and train him. Noona love story ensues.

So... I have a lot of mixed feelings about it because, all in all, I think this is one of the best cdramas I've watched. It's beautifully shot, the music is incredible, and the pacing, story, characters, and acting are all impeccable. Aside from Meet Yourself (fav ever) it's truly one of the most naturally acted cdramas I've seen so far as well. Even outside the romance part, everything was really good.

Now, was it inappropriate? For me, at least, I think it was. This young student is supposed to be 20, and his coach is said to be about to turn 28. They are both consenting adults (let's put it that way), but the power dynamics thing is still there. Overall, it was a nice surprise, and I completely binged it.

Welcome to Samdal-ri, 2023/24 (kdrama) 9

After a scandal, a famous photographer runs back to her hometown. Her ex, with whom she had an intense fallout (childhood friends to lovers), is there, and it seems like neither of them has moved on. (Also about family, and grief)

From the moment I saw Shin Hye Sun and Ji Chang Wook's pictures next to one another on a tweet saying they were going to be in a new drama together, I knew this was going to be a 10/10 in my books. Maximized joint slay. Add the hometown cha cha cha vibes, and you have an amazing tear-jerker drama. The rest of the cast is a great complement as well; their acting and their stories just make everything really emotional (I cried a lot lol), but it is 100% worth the watch. I'll be honest about one thing, though. As much as I loved it, it took me a while to finish the last two episodes cause I feel like they dragged the story a bit.

Princess Hours/Goong, 2006 (kdrama) 8

In a reimagined modern SK, a girl from an ordinary family gets hitched to the crown prince because of a promise both of their grandparents made in the past. A Diana x Charles x Camilla drama ensues (but like, with a happy ending).

This is what I like to call DRAMA™️. The type you hate everyone's behaviors, and you laugh, and you hate the ML, but you also want him to get with the FL, and you start hate watching, and then you giggle when they share moments and completely forget ML is a really shitty person lol. I started this cause I got sick, and I got way into it. ML being a major asshole and the FL having no self-respect (like the good old dramas and telenovelas) aside, I enjoyed binging this, and I can see why it was so popular. Their romance, though deeply flawed and a product of the time the drama was made, had some great moments, slow burn and natural as well. I was lowkey hoping for a happier ending, tho, but it was cute enough. Also, music bro, that main song is never getting out of my head. Comfort drama material: 100%

Playful Kiss, 2010 (kdrama) 5

FL confesses to ML, and he rejects her harshly. When her house collapses, her father moves them in with an old friend, who ends up being ML's father.

So after Goong, I thought I'd probably be able to watch this. Wrong. Shin's got nothing wrong in comparison so Seung Jo. Seung Jo is probably my most disliked ML ever lol. I binged this, hoping it'd get better, or just like Shin in Goong, he'd change a bit after getting together with FL. But nope, he remained an asshole throughout the whole thing. Gotta love that consistency. Comfort drama material: 1% (I saw the comments on Viki, and I don't know how people rewatched this, lol.)

[kdramacrybaby]

Who Rules The World (2022)

Genre: Wuxia, Fantasy, Romance

Synopsis: An important relic has been stolen, throwing the world into a political chaos in a fight to gain power. The political world collides with the martial art world as everyone wants to be the one who comes out on top. Bai Fengxi is a carefree person who never hesitates to put herself in harms way to help someone else. Hei Fengxi is known as her rival, but he is much more refined and prefers to work behind the scenes. As the war for power rages on, the two have to join hands and help each other regain peace in the world once again.

Episode info: 40 episodes / Runtime around 45 minutes

Lead cast: Zhao Lusi (Bai Fengxi), Yang Yang (Hei Fengxi), Leon Lai (Huang Chao), xuan Lu (Feng Qiwu), Zhang Hao Wei (Yu Wuyan)

Link to watch: You can watch on Netflix or Dramacool

Drama rec masterlist | Drama rant thread (beware of spoilers)

That gif explains their whole relationship quite well. She bravely storms ahead to help wherever she can, and he follows after, worried that something might happen to her. Wherever she goes, he's not far behind.

Also, the way he looks at her from the very first episode makes me weak. Their relationship and whole dynamic is definitely the star of the show, I love their love so much. Their strengths and weaknesses complement each other so well, and there is never a time when they would not lie down their own life to save the other. They never let miscommunications go for too long (though they will use it as an opportunity to sometimes tease each other), and they always make sure the other knows just how important they are - be that through words or actions.

I adore Zhao Lusi, and her chemistry with Yang Yang was just amazing. The romance really carried this whole drama.

It is very like Legend of Fei in a way (and not just because it's another Wuxia drama). We have the badass female lead who do not need to man to know exactly what she is worth - but if a handsome, chivalrous man happen to follow her around like a lost puppy, she's not about to let that go. She can fight for herself and might not always know her limits, but eventually learn to lean on and rely on the support she has around her.

Now, politics is not my favorite theme for a drama, and this is heavy on it, but if that's something you'll like, this drama is even more for you.

40 episodes is a bit long for me, but they mostly managed to move the story along nicely, and when I did start to get a little bit bored with it, it ramped right back up again to keep me hooked.

There are a lot of characters to keep track of, so just keep that in mind if you, like me, struggle to remember lots of names and faces (especially in dramas where the spoken names and titles aren't always the same as the subtitles).

All in all, a drama that I will definitely remember for the romance, and one I will be comparing other couples to in the future.

[silveranchor]

Finished Dating in The Kitchen, making it my 6th Zhao Lusi drama in the 4 months since first getting to know her in WRTW.

While the age gap is not my thing and I was frustrated with the writing towards the end, it was still very enjoyable and the two leads did a great job. Also... FOOD

Anyway, with every ZLS drama that I watch, my love and adoration for her continues to grow. She's just so engaging and lovable, and you can't help but root for her characters no matter what. She's become my favorite actress since LLTG, but I come to appreciate and admire her more with every character. She is truly everything to me and I'd die for her. Also... She's so pretty I might cry.

Now, for my ranking of ZLS dramas (not characters, because BFX and CSS stand on equal worshipped ground) I've watched, based on my enjoyment (4 and 5 might be interchangeable):

Who Rules The World

Love Like The Galaxy

The Romance of Tiger and Rose

A Female Student Arrives at the Imperial College

Dating in The Kitchen

I Hear You

(if I'm ranking CPs, it's the same except switch 4 and 5 around.)

Idk which of her dramas to watch next, so if anyone can recommend, I'd love that

+Update a couple of weeks later after watching The Long Ballad...

Who Rules The World

Love Like The Galaxy

The Long Ballad

The Romance of Tiger and Rose

...And the rest.

I think HaoYan move above Chen Qianqian x Han Shuo in my cp ranking, and Leyan is very close to BFX and CSS level of my fave of Lusi's characters.

(currently on ep 1 of Please Feel at Ease, Mr. Ling. Lets see how that goes, but at this point my love for Lusi has reached infinite proportions)

(edit: I finished Please feel at ease and it was a wild ride. I think I like it the same as I hear you, but I like this cp better than that one. I do Love Gu Anxin, though. About the same as I love San Qi)

[hazelplaysgames]

i have to watch that cutscene agaaaain... all right here we go.

Fuchsia lead against Clefable. Rocks up, four Night Shades to take it out, and the initial Metronome rolled Ice Ball? uh. no misses, good work Fuchsia. switching into Cinnabar is probably gonna be the right call. Two Acid Sprays work. Bewear is always second, so... Saffron? i'm going Earth Power, banking on a Sp. Def drop, and all it's going for is Pain Split. i might have gotten the Sp. Def drop, but a Big Root and Draining Kiss lean into the stupidest fight, and Saffron can solo Bewear with 44 health left. amazing. truly.

Lilligant is still third, and Viridian's 144 speed... outspeeds it! it hits a Stun Spore when i was expecting a KO, and Teeter Dance nulled by Own Tempo on the turn i get paralyzed. it goes for and misses the Leech Seed! and Viridian can get a healthy 4 hit rally with Icicle Spear! no sense in switching out, and Viridian can encore the Paralysis power through to hit Lilligant out!

Milotic next, straight to Vermilion for Struggle Bug. it Flails off the bat. another SB. Hydro Pump to hit, get the Sitrus health back, third SB. Hydro Pump hits again, taking Vermy down to 18 health, and i go for the Nuzzle now. same turn Para, i love to see it, fourth SB, and a Flail finally makes Vermilion fall. to try and make an Encore out of it, sending out Cerulean to Power Up. 1 punch, 1 para. 2 punch, 2 para. 3 punch is a crit, and Milotic finally hits a Flail in the red, doing... eh, a third. i take it out with 4 punch.

keeping her in for Mismagius, it Pain Splits on the Rocks damage to... evidently, heal Cery. and a three volley of Icicle Spear takes it out! Lusy's down!

while i might do it for the Elite 4, it's nice not knowing what i'm up against. planning against the enemies is so much easier once i know the team i'm fighting. i'll save before fighting in the Champion bout, though, and not look that up.

oh, wait, hang on hang on, i gotta catch Nebby. OOH, any good moves? see here... Shadow Ball, Cosmic Power, one called Night Daze that missed, and Moongeist Beam, which is definitely Ghost. Night Daze, Night Daze... ah, Dark move, 85-95, chance to lower accuracy.

mmm, only Moongeist Beam is tempting... the thing it's competing against most is Shadow Ball. 20 power difference, 10 PP difference, and special affects are the main differences... i actually think, nah, i'll keep Shadow Ball.

lets go a bit late today. i want to see which i reach first, Hau's last fight, or the PMC of Lanakila before calling it.

[wanghedi]

Ok i think they reintroduced some kind of ranking system on weibo supertopics and the most popular ships ranking rn goes yu shuxin/wang hedi (show ended in august) then w*ng yibo/xiao z*han (show ended THREE YEARS ago) then wu lei/zhao lusi (show ended in september) and im not even gonna get into how clj and love like the galaxy JUST ended so it’s reasonable that they are still enjoying the tail end of that popularity and promotional period but like girl HELP the untamed was a shitty show from so long ago and ur leads havent even been in the same room for 3 years how are they still in second place i wish i could delete the untamed from the universe its an abomination is what it is . Its like bts the kpop group in terms of how u cant gauge other shows against it bc its doing its own thing and they would have u believe its sooooo popular but the fans are all in an echo chamber and ive never met anyone who likes either of those things . Except for my friend rorm fifth grade who likes both of those things.. anyway idk what i was trueing to say goodnighte

[honoringthehorrific]

I watched Martyrs (2008) so you dont have to…

Spoilers ahead in this review! However i try to be as vague as possible incase anyone reads this and wishes to delve in regardless.

Starting off I don’t recommend this movie. I didn’t do much digging into it before watching and came out the other end horrified at what i had just been a witness to. I know that opinion is going to catch a lot of back lash too considering the movie’s almost cult like following (pun intended.)

The movie tells an interesting tale of trauma, abuse, and revenge. Bearing witness to it initially i believed it was going to be a simple movie. Some sort of revenge story. However when the revenge was enacted almost immediately it left me wondering what was next.

A question i found myself asking over and over as my partner and i watched was “how long is left” and “how much longer are they gonna drag this on” the violence is uncomfortable to say the least and something that while i did sit through it i wished I hadn’t. This movie had me constantly wishing i had chosen something else and even wanting to turn the damn thing off half way in but I regrettably persisted.

One thing that irritated me greatly, Things go south with an hour left in the film as our protagonist Ana goes into the basement to find that her friend’s claims were not false. Earlier in the movie one of the people that lusie attempted to murder is still alive and Ana breaks her trust by trying to help the woman because she doesn’t think lusie has the right people. This help is in vain as we see that the woman wouldnt have survived the help regardless. Ana goes down the hatch and finds a woman, sarah who was put through the same depravity lusie was. She removes her and shows her kindness by removing the torture devices but sarah is almost like a feral animal at this point and is terminated by the cult.

The last 30 minutes of the movie are entirely wretched. When people talk about exploitation films i think this is at the peak. 30 minutes of a woman suffering to become what this cult deems a martyr. The final act is sealed with a fleshy bow on top as ana is skinned alive. She is revered for enduring this and telling what the torture has made her see and in the end none of it matters. There is no closure. We do not hear ana’s account and the only woman who did blows her fucking brains out before she can tell.

I hated this movie and its ending and while it had some interesting commentary and beautiful cinematography along with beautiful effects it was also just gut wrenching. I found myself begging the director in that last 30 minutes for a glimmer of hope and got none. I have seen people humanize and try to explain this cult’s actions…i do not feel like fearing life after death is a worthy cause for such behavior. And if people on reddit who have analyzed this ending far better than i ever could are correct. If the leader truly killed herself because ana saw nothing but void. If she did not want to live with the burden or burden the other members with the knowlege that their depravity was for nothing i do not think that is heroic or martyr like. It is depraved. You are left with the knowlege that this cult will continue opperation. Continue to try and make another martyr. That Ana’s death and all the ones before didnt matter.

In the end we are told to keep doubting. Something incredibly bitter tasting to hear. In the end we are left with dissatisfaction and deep regret and mental wounds from the pointless horrors we have just consumed.

I do not recommend this movie. I typically love things that are a bit dark and maybe a bit depraved. I love guts and gore and blood. But this was just something that left a dirty taste in my mouth… i give it a 2/10 for its beautiful work visually and its effects. Nothing more, nothing less. If you want similar existential commentary or questioning talk to a friend or find a good internet forum instead and you’ll find just as much substance. If you wish to see martyrs regardless of what I’ve warned just remember, you can’t shoot the messenger but you can shoot your kidnappers.

[smylealong]

The Long Ballad - thoughts

Just finished The Long Ballad and I have to say, I enjoyed it. Primarily because I went in with 0 expectations. After the brutal and fascinating journey that was Nirvana in Fire, I wanted something that did not require much thought and was enjoyable. And The Long Ballad delivered. I primarily went in for Liu Haikuan, knowing that he is a bit role, and I wasn't disappointed. I will discuss the details of the show below and because there are some spoilers, I will keep it under "keep reading"

PLOT: After the brutal death of her family, Li Changge (Dilraba Dilmurat) goes on a self-imposed exile. The story is about her journey. She goes from an angry, revenge-seeking princess to a woman who comes to see the bigger picture and finds inner peace and true love. This is also the story of Ashile Sun (Wu Lei), the battle-hardened war veteran who slowly comes to realize the futility of war and understand where true happiness lies. This is the journey of Leyan (Zhao Lusi), the soft, sheltered, shy princess who finds her own form of courage and strength. We also witness Hao Du (Liu Yuning), the cold-blooded, by-the-books soldier who falls head-over-heels in love with Leyan. There is also Wei Shu Yu (Alen Fang) who goes from being a useless waste of space to brotherzoning himself. (He does it all on his own. No one places him there.)

The series is adapted from the manhua "Chang Ge Xing" (长歌行) written by Xia Da (夏达). The manhua, apparently, got embroiled in some legal issues with its publishing company and is hence left incomplete. The team of Long Ballad got the writers, Chang Jiang and Pei Yu Fei on board and the duo did a commendable job in making changes in the characters and the story to deliver a complete package to the audiences.

The plot, while complex and layered, is also very sanitized. They touch upon fairly dark topics such as fratricide, human trafficking, slavery, biological warfare, and rape, but the topics are treated with kid-gloves. The rape, for example, is never shown. Only implied. This is a very important detail to remember while watching the show. Do not go in expecting a "Nirvana in Fire" or even "The Rebel Princess", you will be disappointed. Go in expecting a Young Adult story, and you will be rewarded.

CHARACTERS AND PERFORMANCES:

Li Changge: The protagonist of the story, Li Changge, starts as a boisterous, confident, but naive Princess. This is primarily her story, told mainly through her point of view. She goes from town to town, actively taking part in the governing of the cities/states. Fighting in wars, strategizing, making mistakes and learning from them. Finding both love and inner peace in the process. As you may have gleaned, the character is a bit of a Mary Sue, in the sense that she is almost perennially outsmarting everyone around her and people are constantly complimenting her on her smarts. That said, Changge does end up making a huge mistake and there are some serious consequences to her mistake, which decreases her Mary Sue-ness. The fact that not every man is falling for her like some other Mary Sues we know, coughA'Wucough, is also a HUGE positive. Dilraba Dilmurat does a commendable job as Li Changge and I don't really have anything negative to say about her performance.

Ashile Sun: He is the Tegin (General) of the Eagle Division of the Ashile Tribe and the foster son of the Great Khan of the Tribe. He is a fierce warrior and a quiet man whose perfectly ordered world is turned upside down upon meeting Li Changge. He is the hero of the story and is a character I enjoyed. Given his age, people did have some concern about Wu Lei portraying such a "masculine" character, but Wu Lei rose to the occasion spectacularly. I could discard Fei Liu (not an easy task, because damnit, I could still see the little murder puppy in some angles because the face is still the same, yet different), and see Ashile Sun instead, so full points to Wu Lei.

Li Leyan: Leyan starts as the soft and delicate princess who cannot stand up for herself. Her story is so beautifully shown. The way she comes to understand her country, her people, and learn true compassion is so beautifully shown that it really melted my heart. I loved the bits where she came in and Zhao Lusi embodied the character perfectly. Her love story was arguably the best thing in the story.

Hao Du: Meet the guy that stole the show. The stoic, cold-blooded, brutal warrior who is absolutely smitten with Li Leyan, the princess he is supposed to guard. Hao Du is a man of few words and Liu Yuning portrays the complex emotions with his expressions. He conveyed the cold and unfeeling mask, the pure love, the devotion, the heartbreak, and the complete surrender to Li Leyan - he showed it all. It was just... FABULOUS.

Wei Shu Yu: Meet the Ma Zitan of this story. Only, unlike Zitan who is both terrible and useless, Wei Shu Yu is just terribly useless. Alan Fang was reasonably good in portraying this nothing character. There is nothing else to say about him.

Ashile She Er: I have to talk about this character. He starts off as the rival to Ashile Sun, the petty guy who is there to make the hero look good. But slowly, we learn that deep inside, he is just a hurt and confused child who is looking for one person who would love and trust him for who he is. Not for his name, not for his title (Young Khan, ie, crown prince), or the power he wields. His relationship with Ashile Sun is the most complicated one of the story and he gets a beautiful character arc. Kudousi Jiang Ainiwaer portrayed the progression of the character convincingly.

The rest of the cast is adequate.

TECHNICAL DETAILS

OST: The OST is beautiful and is definitely worth a listen. My favorite track is the one sung by Liu Yuning. Man, the guy can sing!

Costumes: The costumes are not the best I have seen (NIF and JOL have spoiled me in that department), but they were not bad either. The fur on Ashile Sun's war costume, especially the one around his neck, made me want to itch my own neck, lol.

Cinematography: The long shots are done well, but the camera does switch angles a bit too often sometimes, which was rather distracting.

Graphics: Since the story is taken from a manhua, there are some scenes, especially the war scenes, that are shown in manhua panels. While this works, mostly, there are scenes where they become a tad comical. There are moments in the series where the graphics are in the background and a character is yelling some dialogue. NONE of those scenes worked. They were cringeworthy. Question to the writers: What do you have against boys aged eight to fourteen? Why did you do this to them?

OVERALL

Overall, I enjoyed the series. Was it the best I have ever seen? No. Definitely not. But this was not the worst either. The series is complete and does not leave any thread hanging or plot point unaddressed. The acting is adequate and I don't have any complains in that department. Yes, it was rather simplistic in its solutions and Changge does get some things done way too easily. The sanitizing of the more serious aspects can be off putting to the viewers expecting a dark, gritty tale. Go in with the expectation of watching a YA story, and you will be treated to an enjoyable one.

Final rating: 7 out of 10.

[fatehbaz]

In the Anthropocene, necropolitics operates under the sign of metaphysical indeterminancy rather than certainty, unintended consequences rather than control. As it so happens, spirits exist under the same conditions of uncertainty and possibility. Spirits are never just “there”. Spirits thrive, as a result, in conditions of doubt rather than belief. “I do not believe in ghosts, but ...” is, after all, the conventional start to accounts of experiences with ghosts and spirits. How striking [...], that the Anthropocene is so clearly associated with spirits. Take the figure of Gaia, the self-regulating sympoetic superorganism of earth’s biosphere named [...] by climate scientist James Lovelock and biologist Lyn Margulis. Or take Donna Haraway’s chthulus, those earthly “myriad intra-active entities-in-assemblages” that inhabit the Anthropocene. [...]

Like Fukushima, Bhopal, Chernobyl, and other contemporary disasters where the forces of nature and human politics act to exacerbate each other, Lusi is the name for a monstrous geography haunted by the natural as well as the unnatural. [...]

-------

The Lusi mud volcano is a geological event with two histories. [...] Part one, the “unnatural history” of the volcano, as it were, begins in 2006. In the early hours of the morning on May 29, the mud volcano erupted, shortly after the oil company PT Lapindo Brantas Incorporation had begun exploratory drilling for gas [...]. The second part of the story begins in the early morning of May 27, 2006, roughly forty-eight hours before the eruption [...], when a massive earthquake measuring 6.3 [...] shook the ground near Yogyakarta, killing 5,749 people [...]. [T]he anthropogenic origin of Lusi seemed secure. Until recently, that is, when independent, computer-based studies showed that the curved underground rock formation in the area could have focused the seismic waves of the Yogyakarta earthquake to produce enough seismic stress on the fault line to trigger the eruption [...]. In its wak, uncertainty rules more than ever. As one geologist concludes, “we may never know what the final trigger was, whether it would have happened anyway [...].” When it comes to Lusi, geology [...] is haunted by unpredictability. This epistemological undecidability is couple with high political stakes: the oil company wants the eruption to be a natural disaster to escape liability, while victims want it to be [seen as] an industrial disaster [...] The question essentially is whether Lusi is a political event with a geothermal afterlife or a geothermal event with a political afterlife. At the moment, it is both. [...] [A] time of undecidability but also a time of spirits and ghosts.

-------

On quiet afternoons, you are likely to see people scour the Lusi mudflats. Once in a while, they will stoop to pick up a pebble and inspect it closely before either dropping it again or putting it in a fanny pack around their waist. People say the stones are just trinkets, children’s marbles. And yet, they keep collecting them, carefully polishing them [...] in an evident labor of love [...]. Some stones come to assume the shape of a dolphin, others a human face. [...] Mas Hadi is one of the people collecting stones. He is [...] a diviner (waskito) with “spirit eyes” that see into the otherworld (mata batin). [...] One day [...] a tukang ojek, a driver of a motorbike taxi, dropped by with an object he had found on the mudflat. It looked like a fossilized shark tooth [...], [possibly] from a mako shark (L. Isurus oxyrinchus), probably one who lived and died around 2 million years ago to become part of the Pleistocene stratum from where most of the volcanic mud originates. To Mas Hadi, however, it was something else. [...] What the ojek driver had inadvertently stumbled upon was a double kris, a dagger associated with royalty and a powerful magical object. “Take it, and keep it safe [...].” Searching for spirit shapes in the stones on the mudflats is one among a panoply of means through which you may acquire good fortune [...] in Java. Spiritual anxiety has been the constant companion of dreams of good fortune at Lusi since its eruption in 2006. [...]

Mas Hadi’s story is a common one. The victims’ struggle to receive compensation for their lost livelihoods has been long and frustrated. In response to the mudflow, a presidential decree from 2007 [...] required the Lapindo oil company to pay 3.8 trillion rupiah (US$338 million) in compensation to people who used to live inside the so-called affected area [...]. Despite the generous political deal, Lapindo sought through a variety of political, legal, and strong-arm tactics to defer payment of the government-ordered compensation to the victims. [...] In 2009, the regional p0lice in East Java gave up its criminal investigation against Lapindo, a decision that was widely suspected of being made under pressure and influenced by oil company bribes. [...]

-------

Deprived of adequate compensation, the victims now make a living and seek good fortune on top of the toxic mud that covers what used to be their villages. In their struggle for compensation, mud has become a frequent symbol of political protest, and demonstrators regularly smear their bodies in mud as a sign of protest against a cynical oil company and a corrupt government. [...]

Lusi’s muddy landscape is haunted. Her “cursed mud” (kualat lumpur) is the mark of a necropolis, and people see it as an explicit contrast to the metropolis of Kuala Lumpur, a betrayal of people’s dream of modernity. In this ruined landscape, destroyed by a heady mix of greedy industry, corrupt politics, tectonic forces, and chthonic spirits, body politics fuse with geopolitics: protesters smear their bodies in mud, while a murdered labor unionist turns into a muddy avenging ghost; and employer goes mad when his factory drowns in mud [...]. The strange life of stones and mud speaks to a spectral moment in Indonesia in which geology is political, politics is corrupt, and corruption is haunted by spirits.

-------

Nils Bubandt. “Haunted Geologies: Spirits, Stones, and the Necropolitics of the Anthropocene.” 2017.

[dangermousie]

The Long Ballad - after four eps

I have finally found an airing drama to keep up with!

It’s pretty, it’s a story that’s easy to follow, not too fluffy, actors I enjoy watching blah blah.

It has a very strong shoujo manga (or whatever the Chinese equivalent term for that is) vibe, but that’s not a bad thing. Wu Lei and Dilraba’s chemistry is not going to set the world on fire but they act well enough together that I enjoy their scenes.

I am cracking up at how they are white-washing Li Shimin as much as they can (it’s all his evil evil advisors! really!) but hey, censors. The politics in it are the usual grade-level seen in this type of story but I didn’t go in expecting The Advisors’ Alliance or Nirvana in Fire so it doesn’t matter (I mean, I adored The Wolf, and the politics in it were on about the same level.)

Out of all the characters, I remain most interested in Zhao Lusi’s and Liu Yi Ning’s princess and killer because that is one trope I live for. Dilraba is fine but outside of Three Lives, I have never been able to get emotionally drawn into any of her characters. I enjoy watching her but she never goes that extra step of resonating with me the way e.g., Peng Xiaoran or Ni Ni can do. Does she convey the sheer rage and despair and driven vengeance of someone whose family got killed by her uncle? Nope, not at all.

Wu Lei is fine (surprisingly so, since I was worried he’d not fit the role) and I like his character, but we don’t really know much about him other than smart and leader of barbarians so I am not attached yet. Their character tropes are not my automatic kink the way Lusi/LYN are so I may be emotionally involved with them eventually but not yet. But they are pleasant to watch.

Overall it reminds me a lot, as I said earlier, of shoujo manga, specifically ones I read a lot of as a much younger Mousie - something like Red River. It’s not the kind of intense, epic story that gets me to lose my mind (Novoland Eagle Flag) nor does it have anyone who is so hot my brain short-circuits/an OTP that hits all my kinks (The Wolf) - in fact none of the men in it make me lose even a single braincell and the OTP is not gonna set the world on fire with their chemistry tho they are fun to watch, but it’s enjoyable and that’s more than I can say for any other drama airing right now.

[defeatedbyamerechild]

Hi guys!!! This question is for all of you. Have you ever get drunk? What kind of drunk are you? (I think that Cyrus could be the philosophical)

Content warning: Alcohol, alcoholic drinks, drunk behavior.

Since I don’t see most of them talking about this (at least not honestly) I’m gonna give you the answer myself. XD

Giovanni:

Giovanni drinks quite frequently (usually wine, but other things too), but hardly ever to the point of getting drunk. It has happened a few times in his life, but he usually knows when to stop. Whenever he does get drunk, he is that kind of drunk that just falls asleep and stays like that for hours... Impossible to wake up. Like, he’s fine, drinking and chatting, but as soon has he drinks one sip more than he can take, he will suddenly collapse and start snoring, as if he had been sedated.

Archie:

Archie doesn’t drink very often, but he does have a decent tolerance to alcohol. He has gotten drunk more than once, it’s true, because whenever he decides to drink, he has trouble realizing when he’d had too much of it. He is that kind of drunk who gets emotional, but in a happy way. He doesn’t cry or start to self depreciate or anything such, but he gets gooey and clingy, he starts hugging everyone and telling everyone how much he loves them... Also starts comforting every sad person near him and trying to give advice, although it’s usually nonsense.

Maxie:

Maxie likes low-alcohol drinks, but will drink something stronger every now and then. He is less tolerant to alcohol than Archie, but has an average tolerance. He has only gotten drunk once, because he is constantly afraid of drinking too much and doing something embarrassing, so he polices the amount of alcohol he drinks. When drunk, Maxie becomes that kind of super silly and cheerful drunk, who cannot stop giggling, even with no reason at all to do so. He just keeps laughing at everything (or sometimes at nothing) and can’t even keep a conversation. You may find him staring at nowhere and smiling too, but it won’t be long before he starts to giggle again.

Cyrus:

Cyrus doesn’t drink alcohol, and he has never gotten drunk. He also has zero tolerance to it, like... He is the kind of person who would get drunk from the smell of alcohol. If he took one sip, he’d get drunk. Even though he has never gotten drunk, I can tell you what kind of drunk he would be: the sick drunk. He would just feel really really really sick and throw up for hours because he can’t take that. Might fall down or actually pass out even. In terms of behavior, wouldn’t change much, but would get dizzy and confused.

Ghetsis:

Ghetsis doesn’t drink much, but has a good tolerance to alcohol. Whenever he drinks, he likes strong drinks, and will absolutely make fun of people who choose weak ones. He’s gotten drunk an few times only. Drunk Ghetsis is basically the same, only less coordinated and sleepier. He complains about things, but usually not as loud, and he will definitely hit on women around him. He keeps talking all the time, because he becomes more extroverted and sociable when drunk too.

N:

(N is 20 in my headcanon, and in my country you can drink being more than 18yo) N drinks sometimes when he goes out with Guzma, Colress and Cyrus, but he sometimes prefers to drink some non-alcoholic thing instead. He also likes cocktails more than “pure” drinks. He’s never gotten drunk (yet XD), but if he did, he would be the overly emotional kind of drunk... The one that starts crying and complaining about his life and questioning his purpose and so on... Self-deprecating thoughts and babbling, a lot of crying...

Colress:

Colress drinks pretty often, but usually stops before getting completely drunk. He becomes more and more quiet and distant the more he drinks, so he will often stop drinking in time, since he won’t be having lots of fun anymore. When he keeps drinking and gets completely drunk, he will become that super passive and quiet drunk who doesn’t even know where he is anymore. He will not speak or move or anything, if you call him, he will not respond. Yes, he is awake, and he is alive, but it’s as if he were paralyzed. Might start drooling.

Lysandre:

Lysandre drinks expensive drinks and like to appreciate delicate flavors, but he doesn’t do it very often. He is definitely not as tolerant as he would seem to be, so getting drunk won’t be hard for him. When he gets drunk, he becomes the famous philosophical drunk that you mentioned. He keeps talking about the meaning of life and about his actions and the actions of other people and his opinions on humanity and so on... He also becomes more serious and less extroverted than his normal self, and a bit less emotional. He will be completely lost, though, like... he’ll start talking to a wardrobe thinking it’s a person and will discuss the meaning of life for 2 hours straight with it.

Guzma:

Guzma drinks all the time, he wouldn’t have a good tolerance to it normally, but drinking so often has “strengthened” him. He sometimes gets drunk, and he doesn’t avoid it at all, or mind it. When he gets drunk, he becomes 100x more energetic than his normal self. He goes completely crazy, starts talking to everyone about anything, runs around, starts singing, trying to walk on his hands, somersault, run on the walls and all kind of stupid thing that he cannot do but will think he can. He becomes kind of unbearable for any sober person around him. 

Lusamine:

Lusamine never drinks, but unlike Cyrus it’s not that she “won’t drink”, she just doesn’t have the habit of doing it. She may drink a glass of wine in parties or something similar, though. She has nothing against drinking. She has gotten drunk a few times when she was younger, but not recently. When Lusie gets drunk she becomes grumpy, even angry sometimes. She quiets down and starts mumbling to herself, and if anyone tries to talk to her, she will complain and tell them to leave her alone.

Piers:

Piers drinks pretty often, but he has never gotten drunk simply because he can’t. He is that guy who never gets drunk, no matter how much he drinks. He has infinite tolerance, he can drink the whole night and he just won’t get drunk, even if he tries to. He ends up being that guy who takes care of his drunk friends instead, since he is eternally sober.

Rose:

Rose drinks a bit of everything, he likes drinking beer on barbecues or while watching TV, but will also drink some wine on dinner, or distilled liquors... He enjoys a bit of everything. He has an average tolerance, but usually doesn’t drink enough to get drunk. When he gets drunk, he doesn’t change much, except he will be a bit more quiet... And he will wander out and away, completely aimlessly. Rose is the kind of drunk that simply vanishes. You could swear you just saw him sitting on the couch but now no one knows where he is. His phone is either dead or he left it behind, he didn’t tell anyone where he went and no one saw him going out, but he’s definitely not here anymore. You’ll only find out where he is tomorrow, after he wakes up under a Payapa tree in a nearby city or something similar.

[sifeng]

2019′s Guzhuang Dramas

Looking for a guzhuang to watch? Here’s a full compilation of the most popular ones! They will be ranked by the douban ratings (a Chinese rating site), and the MDL ratings will be in brackets. In a case of a tie, I chose the drama with a higher percentage of 5 star ratings on douban. In addition, the time period, main stars, plot and episode number will be provided:

Format: Name (Chinese Name) - Douban rating [MDL rating]

1. Love and Destiny (宸汐缘) - 8.3 [8.7]

Time Period: Xianxia

Starring: Zhang Zhen (张震), Ni Ni (倪妮)

Episode Number: 60

Plot: A love story between the God of War and a young maiden whose very existence can bring harm to the world.

Related Shows: Eternal Love (三生三世十里桃花), Ashes of Love (香蜜沉沉烬如霜), The Journey of Flower (花千骨)

2. The Untamed (陈情令) - 8.3 [9.4]

Time Period: Wuxia

Starring: Xiao Zhan (肖战), Wang Yibo (王一博)

Episode Number: 50

Plot: Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji are two completely different people from two different worlds. Lan Wangji was born in the prominent Sect of the Gusu Lan. Due to his great achievements and reputation, he was seen as a hero, the role model of everyone in the cultivation world and is known to appear wherever chaos is. While Wei Wuxian, the Yiling Patriarch,was a name that was feared by everyone. He has done many heroic things in his life, but also really cruel ones. In the end, Wei Wuxian was "killed" by his best friend and only survivor of the Yunmeng Jiang Sect, Jiang Cheng, who was once like a brother to him, after he became too evil for the world to exist. At least that is what the legend says. Sixteen years after his so-called “death”, Wei Wuxian suddenly reappeared again at the Mo Village. 

3. The Longest Day in Chang An (长安十二时辰) - 8.3 [8.9]

Time Period: Tang Dynasty

Starring: Lei Jiayin (雷佳音), Jackson Yee (易烊千玺)

Episode Number: 48

Plot: 744 A.D, Chang’an. The remnants of a vanquished Central Asian kingdom have infiltrated the world’s largest city for a planned attack during the Lantern Festival. Meanwhile, the court is fraught with infighting. The aging Emperor is expected to announce the regency of the Right Chancellor during the festival and retreat to the mountains with his young lover. If the Right Chancellor becomes the regent, the reformist Crown Prince risks being deposed—or worse. Intelligence chief Li Bi, a young Taoist priest, and ally of the Crown Prince has only 24 hours to prevent both the attack and the regency. After a botched attempt to capture the infiltrators, Li Bi and his team call in the services of death row prisoner Zhang Xiao Jing — a war veteran, beloved police chief, and murderer of his last direct superior.

4. Young Blood (大宋少年志) - 8.2 [8.3]

Time Period: Song Dynasty

Starring: Zhang Xincheng (张新成), Zhou Yutong (周雨彤)

Episode Number: 42

Plot: During the Qingli Era, troubling affairs brew underneath the prosperity and stability of the Northern Song Dynasty. To avoid war and protect the peace between its people, the Northern Song uses the name of "Mi Ge" (Secret Cabinet) to train young spies. For a variety of reasons and whether willing or unwilling, these six become the Seventh Room of Mi Ge after strict selection and examination: Yuan Zhong Xin, Zhao Jian, Xiao Jing, Wang Kuan, Xue Ying, Wei Ya Nei. Upon first entering the school, each acts out of their own self-interest, making a mess of their surroundings and causing headaches for their teachers. After going through a series of life-and-death missions, the previously ignorant boys and girls gradually mature and form bonds with one another, devoting their determination and loyalty to defending the peace. Burying their names, they become unknown legends within the river of history. 

5. Goodbye My Princess (东宫) - 7.6 [8.4]

Time Period: Fictional

Starring: Chen Xingxu (陈星旭), Peng Xiaoran (彭小苒)

Episode Number: 55

Plot: A love story revolves around the 9th Princess of Western Liang as she journeys to the Central Plains to fulfill a marriage alliance with the Crown Prince. Two parallel lines begin to intersect in a place fraught with danger and deadly power play and buried somewhere deep inside are memories that have yet to resurface.

6. The Birth of the Drama King (少年江湖物语) - 7.5 [7.7]

Time Period: Wuxia

Starring: Zhou Yanchen (周彦辰), Luo Mingjie (骆明劼)

Episode Number: 24

Plot: A hilarious comedy about two long lost brothers who meet again as enemies in the pugilistic world with the "righteous" hero infiltrating the "evil" dark lord's sect as an undercover agent. Hijinks ensue when the introverted hero tries to befriend the temperamental dark lord by following his master's self-help book on "how to make a friend in ten days." 

7. Hot Blooded Youth (热血少年) - 7.2 [7.9]

Time Period: Chinese Republic

Starring: Huang Zitao (黄子韬), Zhang Xueying (张雪迎)

Episode Number: 58

Plot: A legendary story about a young man who overcomes many hardships to become a formidable force in the Shanghai Bund. Xiong Tian grew up in the streets. With nothing to his name, he works a thankless job just to make a living. Nonetheless, he is quick-witted, talented and exceptionally gifted in steam-powered machinery. By chance, he gets pulled into a complicated fight and works his way to become a champion.

8. Once Upon A Time in Lingjian Mountain (从前有座灵剑山) - 7.2 [8.5]

Time Period: Wuxia

Starring: Xu Kai (许凯), Zhang Rongrong (张榕容)

Episode Number: 37

Plot: A story that follows Wang Lu, a young genius, who enters the Spirit Blade Sect and embarks on an unconventional journey towards immortal cultivation.

9. Candle in the Tomb (怒晴湘西) - 7.1 [8.2]

Time Period: Chinese Republic

Starring: Pan Yueming (潘粤明), Gao Weiguang (高伟光)

Episode Number: 21

Plot: The third season of the Candle in the Tomb series is set in the Republican era during a time when the warlords fight for power and bring disaster upon the people. Tomb raider and head of the Xieling Clan Chen Yu Lou joins hands with warlord Luo Lao Wai and heads to Xiangxi to explore tombs of the Yuan dynasty. On his journey he meets Zhe Gu Shao who is not interested in any treasures but wants to find a magical bead that can put an end to the curse on his clan. Yu Lou and Gu Shao eventually form an alliance to tread the untrodden path to the Yuan tombs.

10. Lovely Swords Girl (恋恋江湖) - 6.9 [7.7]

Time Period: Fictional

Starring: Jiang Zhenyu (姜贞羽), Wang Shize (王仕泽)

Episode Number: 24

Plot: Set in a fictional history rife with conflict and chaos, the story revolves around a sappy young woman who doesn't forget to laugh and chases after true love even as she gets caught in a love triangle. Through her journey, she grows into a loving person and thwarts an evil scheme in the pugilistic world.

11. Arsenal Military Academy (烈火军校) - 6.7 [8.7]

Time Period: Chinese Republic

Starring: Bai Lu (白鹿), Xu Kai (许凯)

Episode Number: 48

Plot: Xie Xiang joins the army in her brother's stead by pretending to be a man. She becomes classmates with the wealthy Gu Yan Zhen and the calm Shen Jun Shan. Through their rigorous training, the three form a bond to become comrades, all while Xie Xiang tries to keep her cover. After many incidents, Xie Xiang earns the respect of her peers and superiors. She also becomes the object of affections of the two men in her lives. The Japanese military stations more forces in the Northeast region causing the young heroes to engage in battle as they uncover a big conspiracy.

12. Detective L (绅探) - 6.5 [8.5]

Time Period: Chinese Republic

Starring: Bai Yu (白宇), You Jingru (尤靖茹)

Episode Number: 24

Plot: Shanghai in the 30s: An intriguing crime case emerges amidst the bustling city. A beautiful new graduate of the police academy, Qin Xiao Man, joins the investigation unit. The famous detective Luo Fei becomes her colleague and neighbour.

13. The Love by Hypnotic (明月照我心) - 6.4 [8.3]

Time Period: Fictional

Starring: Fang Yilun (方逸伦), Ling Meishi (凌美仕)

Episode Number: 36

Plot: A princess and a prince who can't see eye to eye find themselves stuck in an arranged marriage. Yet they start opening up to each other because of hypnosis.

Related Shows: The Eternal Love (双世宠妃)

14. Love Better Than Immortality (天雷一部之春花秋日） - 6.3 [8.2]

Time Period: Fictional

Starring: Li Hongyi (李宏毅), Zhao Lusi (赵露思)

Episode Number: 40

Plot: A woman from the future arrives at a fantasy-like universe to experience love for the first time. She goes by the name Chun Hua and falls into a complicated romance with two young men who are opposites like black and white.

15. The Legends (招摇) - 6.2 [8.5]

Time Period: Wuxia

Starring: Bai Lu (白鹿), Xu Kai (许凯)

Episode Number: 56

Plot: While attempting to take her predecessor’s Wanjun Sword, Lu Zhao Yao is ambushed by the ten immortal sects and dies. She mistakenly believes Li Chen Lan, who is her best ally, is related to the incident after he is revealed to be the demon king’s son. Five years later, Li Chen Lan has taken over the position of the Wanlu sect leader, and Zhao Yao decides to exact revenge. She who is now a spirit, possesses the body of Qin Zhi Yan, a female disciple of the Immortal Sect, and with the help of the newly gained body, she becomes the direct disciple of Mo Qing aka Li Chen Lan with the aim of killing him. But things don’t go as she planned, when she slowly starts to fall in love with him instead.

16. Novoland: Eagle Flag (九州缥缈录) - 6.1 [8.0]

Time Period: Fictional

Starring: Liu Haoran (刘昊然), Song Zu’er (宋祖儿)

Episode Number: 56

Plot: Lu Gui Chen is the heir of the nomadic Qingyang tribe, and is sent to the Eastern Land as hostage. He meets Ji Ye, an unfavoured illegitimate son who is training to become a warrior, and Yu Ran, the princess of the Winged tribe. At the same time, powerful warlord Ying Wu Yi has been maintaining a firm control over the Emperor, giving him unprecedented power over the nobles. Lu Gui Chen, Ji Ye, and Yu Ran decide to join the decisive battle against Ying Wu Yi at Shangyang Pass, but unbeknownst to them, an even darker conspiracy is yet to unfold.

17. Princess Silver (白发) - 6.0 [8.1]

Time Period: Fictional

Starring: Zhang Xueying (张雪迎), Li Zhiting (李治廷)

Episode Number: 58

Plot: A story that follows a princess with amnesia who meets a prince that did not want to marry her and how they find a place for themselves despite the complications of the time.

18. Heavenly Sword and Dragon Saber (倚天屠龙记) - 5.8 [8.3]

Time Period: Wuxia

Starring: Zeng Shunxi (曾舜曦), Chen Yuqi (陈钰琪)

Episode Number: 50

Plot: Legend said that whoever obtains the Heavenly Sword and Dragon Slaying Saber can rule the world. Zhang Wuji was orphaned at a young age by schemes to discover secrets of these two weapons. Despite his preference to live a non-violent life, Wuji found himself embroiled in the struggles for power and must fight to save himself and others he loves...

Related Shows: The Legend of the Condor Heroes (射雕英雄传), The Return of the Condor Heroes (神雕侠侣), Demi Gods and Semi Devils (天龙八部), The Smiling Wanderer (笑傲江湖)

19. I Will Never Let You Go (小女花不弃) - 5.6 [7.8]

Time Period: Fictional

Starring: Lin Yichen (林依晨), Zhang Binbin (张彬彬)

Episode Number: 51

Plot: The story revolves around a young wanderer with an extraordinary business sense and the masked hero who saves her which ultimately results in them falling in love. When the wanderer is revealed to be the Divine Maiden who will obtain a legendary treasure, various enemies hunt her down. She then lives life on the run and meets her savior who turns out to be the ambitious prince that wants to take the throne.

20. The Plough Department of the Song Dynasty (大宋北斗司) - 5.3 [8.0]

Time Period: Song Dynasty

Starring: Xu Ke (徐可), Dai Luwa (代露娃)

Episode Number: 36

Plot: The Plough (Big Dipper) Department is a special investigation institution that works for the emperor of the Northern Song Dynasty. Tai Sui and his partners work together to break odd cases and punish the evils. Through a series of cases, Tai Sui found out there was a hidden conspiracy behind these cases, and it was related to his unknown past.

21. Please Give Me a Pair of Wings (请赐我一双翅膀) - 5.0 [8.1]

Time Period: Chinese Republic

Starring: Ju Jingyi (鞠婧祎), Yan Yalun (炎亚纶)

Episode Number: 60

Plot: It tells the story of Lin Jiu Ge, the daughter of Shanggu's Police Commissioner who was framed and unjustly imprisoned. She will have the help of young police detective Long Tian Yu to hopefully find the real murderer. Will Lin Jiu Ge be able to get her revenge?

22. Legend of Haolan (皓镧传) - 4.8 [7.8]

Time Period: Warring States Period

Starring: Wu Jinyan (吴谨言), Nie Yuan (聂远)

Episode Number: 62

Plot: During the Warring States Period, Li Hao Lan (Wu Jin Yan) is forced out of her own home and sold as a slave despite being the daughter of the Public Censor of Zhao. Purchased by Lu Bu Wei (Nie Yuan), she is gifted to Ying Yi Ren (Mao Zi Jun) a Qin Royal who is serving as a hostage to guarantee the armistice between the Qin and Zhao states. A dangerous battle begins in result of their arrival and they must rely on their wits to survive.

23. The Great Craftsman (筑梦情缘) - 4.6 [8.0]

Time Period: Chinese Republic

Starring: Hua Jianhua (霍建华), Yang Mi (杨幂)

Episode Number: 60

Plot: Military conflicts in the Warlord era has resulted in unbearable conditions. Amidst the chaos, Shen Qinan's family experiences a terrible misfortune. The four brothers and sisters overcome many hurdles to flee to Shanghai but they are forced to separate. Many years later, they will reunite again. Shen Qinan manages to climb from the depths of despair to make a name for himself as a famous architect in the Shanghai Bund. He meets Fu Hanjun, a gifted architect who puts the people's needs and traditional Chinese architecture at the heart of her designs. During Shanghai's development, Shen Qinan works hard to build affordable homes for the people. When the Second Sino-Japanese War erupted, Shen Qinan uncovers a conspiracy and plays his part to prevents many deaths.

24. Legend of the Phoenix (凤弈) - 4.6 [7.7]

Time Period: Fictional

Starring: He Hongshan (何泓姗), Xu Zhengxi (徐正溪)

Episode Number: 41

Plot: Set in the fictional Eastern Liang dynasty, circus performer Ye Ningzhi’s (He Hongshan) troupe enters the palace and stages a performance to celebrate the empress dowager’s birthday. The ambitious grand princess (emperor’s sister) decides to cause mischief by framing her for treason, though the heroine is saved by strategist Wei Guang (Xu Zhengxi), and falls in love at first sight with him. When Ye Ningzhi enters the palace two years later as the empress’ maid, she stands up for her fellow servants, and refuses to sacrifice her conscience in the face of power. Ye Ningzhi also works together with Wei Guang to crush the grand princess’ plan to usurp the throne, and catches the eye of the emperor in the process.

25. The New Legend of the White Snake (新白娘子传奇) - 4.4 [7.4]

Time Period: Fictional

Starring: Ju Jingyi (鞠婧祎), Yu Menglong (于朦胧)

Episode Number: 36

Plot: The story is set in Hangzhou, then the capital of the Southern Song court, and is about a 1,000-year-old snake spirit that's transformed into a beautiful woman and falls in love with a young man. However, a Buddhist monk intervenes.

26. Listening Snow Tower (听雪楼) - 4.3 [7.9]

Time Period: Wuxia

Starring: Qin Junjie (秦俊杰), Yuan Bingyan (袁冰妍)

Episode Number: 56

Plot: A story that follows the master of Listening Snow Tower and the woman that he loves. He is a martial arts expert known to be a dragon among men and she is known as the blood demon's daughter. 

27. Queen Dugu (独孤皇后) - 3.9 [7.4]

Time Period: Sui Dynasty

Starring: Chen Qiao’en (陈乔恩), Chen Xiao (陈晓)

Episode Number: 50

Plot: After their family was wrongfully persecuted due to the machinations of a corrupt official, Dugu Jia Luo held strict expectations for herself to be independent and strong even at a young age. Her husband Yang Jian is a man of great spirit. He is a warrior, skilled in battle, who rises up the ranks to become the Emperor. With Dugu Jia Luo by his side, they succeed in uniting the country under the Sui Dynasty. The husband and wife stay in a monogamous relationship despite their imperial status and come to be revered by people as the two saints due to their extraordinary contributions to a new golden age.

28. Investiture of the Gods (封神演义) - 3.3 [7.2]

Time Period: Shang/Zhou Dynasty

Starring: Luo Jin (罗晋), Wang Likun (王丽坤)

Episode Number: 56

Plot: In the time of King Zhou of Shang, the Gods are mostly gone and the demons trouble the human world. The Primeval Lord of Heaven decides to use the war between the Zhou and Shang dynasties to choose a new generation of Gods to ascend the celestial realm. His sends his apprentices forth in search of righteous candidates: Jiang Zi Ya assists Ji Fa in governing his new empire Zhou dynasty, Shen Gong Bao infiltrates the Shang dynasty with Su Da Ji seducing the king to rack havoc on the world, and Yu Ding Zhen Ren helps Yang Jian, a human with a third eye, to achieve his potential. The outcome of selection lies in the fates of humans.

Ongoing Dramas:

Joy of Life (庆余年) - 8.0 (ending 2/12/20)

Royal Nirvana (鹤唳华亭) - 7.5 (ending ??)

Sword Dynasty (剑王朝) - 6.8 (ending 1/11/20)

The Romance of Hua Rong (一夜新娘) - 6.8 (ending 12/31/19)

Blossom In Heart (海棠经雨胭脂透) - 6.6 (ending 12/19/19)

To Get Her (惹不起殿下大人) - N/A (ending 12/30/19)

The Mysterious World (天机十二宫) - N/A (ending ??)

Upcoming Dramas:

Dreaming Back to Qing Dynasty (梦回) - N/A (starting 12/14/19)

Disclaimer: Obviously these rankings are just based off of others’ opinions. I really liked “Heavenly Sword and Dragon Sabre” even though inseams the majority of people didn’t. Whatever show seems interesting to you, watch it! The majority of guzhuang dramas are made with delicacy and attention to detail. I’ve seen reviews complimenting some dramas with relatively lower ratings, so of course every drama has its fans. I would obviously suggest you all go and watch the top 5 if they sound interesting to you.

[anontrolls]

> Thistle: Break, don’t bend.

You find Thistle on the rocky path that winds around the side of his hivestem and leads to the small community garden he grows all his vegetables in.

You think, pretty much immediately, that you shouldn’t have come. This would have been a better thought to have had the last three times you showed up on his step, and he didn’t answer his bell, and - well, now you look sort of like a stalker, and he looks like an antlerbeast caught in headlights. He’s clutching a watering can, and you wonder if he’s been keeping out of the garden just to avoid you.

“Hey,” you mumble lamely, and drop your hand from where you’d raised it to waggle your fingers in a wave. “Uh, I know this isn’t... I mean, I just thought, we haven’t talked in ages.”

Thistle doesn’t say anything, and you watch the light breeze ruffle his hair. It’s long, bleached white, and pin-straight. The total opposite of yours, and you always liked winding it round your fingers and playing with it.

You swallow, and rock back on your heels. You know. You know he would’ve answered your texts, or his door at least, if he wanted to talk to you. It’s just...

“Not since - that night, I mean,” you say, and you are going to say ‘not since I got kicked out,’ but you’re not trying to make Thistle feel guilty, here. It’s not his fault. It’s never been his fault. You’re the one that got him in the papers - and, sure, maybe it wasn’t his face, but it was his clothes, his hair, his horns. His hair was gold last time you saw it, metallic and shimmering.

“And I was just wondering,” you go on, because that was the second long, awkward pause you’ve inflicted on this conversation. “About what... I mean, if we were still friends.”

Thistle finally moves, and it’s to lean down and set his watering can on the ground. He presses his hands to his face, shoulders shaking - and you think you’ve made him cry for a second, until he barks a laugh and you think you’ve made him go nutters, instead.

“What the fuck, Lee?” he half-yells into his hands, still blocking himself from looking at you. “Are we still friends? After - I was in that photo, too, you know, and Lionel fucking Prince isn’t stupid, he knows - yeah, Lee, sure, we can still be friends, because apparently why the hell not, long’s you say sorry nice enough - just get on your knees and kiss my boots, or something.”

His shoulders are still trembling, and he makes some sort of queer keening noise that dissolves into mildly hysterical laughter, and - you try to laugh, too, but you only manage to wrestle about half your face into some mangled attempt at a smile. Thistle shudders.

You lean over and get on your knees.

You can tell the exact moment Thistle finishes dragging his hands down his face, because he sputters loudly and then something yanks sharply up at your shoulders. You don't even have time to get the knees of your pants wet on the rocky pavement before he jerks you roughly to your feet.

"What," Thistle presses his thumbclaws into the insides of your wrists, "The hell are you doing, Lee?"

You sag in his hold, relieved he's back to his old self. He's always liked yanking you around - it feels good for a warmblood like him, you think, cold flesh and wrists thin enough for him to wrap his whole hand around. Exotic, maybe. You never pull away, really, and you like that he likes tugging you around. You like that you can be what he wants. It doesn't make you feel good this time. You can’t meet his eyes. You can’t even think, really, because you were about to - you were about to - Thistle stopped you, Thistle was clearly, indisputably, obviously not being serious, and you’re so fucking mortified that you think you might just die. You shake your head, mute, and run your tongue over where your lip's cracked. You haven't been drinking enough water. Or maybe just drinking too much alcohol. Regardless, you're too sober to figure out how to navigate the maze that is this conversation - everything you try results in you running into the proverbial thistles. Thistle's claws are hot pricks of pain at your wrists, and you desperately don't want him to let go. Thistle shoves you back anyways, and you knock into the decorative brick wall of his hivestem’s garden behind you. Your hand goes to wrap around your opposite wrist, but all your cold skin does is chase away the warmth of Thistle's. "This," he says, and you think he sounds angry. He flings his arms out to gesture at... all of you, really, and it looks more like he's slapping some invisible assailant. "This is why I can't do this, Lee. Just - just stop looking at me like that." "Like I'm upset you're dumping me?" you ask, because you can't help it, and you don't mean for it to bite. Whenever you bite at Thistle, it just comes back around to bite you. Case in point: "Like I'm the last troll on this planet," he blurts, "And I've left you at the altar, or something." He makes a small jerk of a motion towards you, barely a half-step, and he must see how you lean in at that, because the gesture stops short, aborted. "We're not handfasted, Lee," he says, more softly, and you must still be looking at him like he doesn't want you to, because the little bit of skin between his brows furrows, right where he has two asymmetrical freckles that he always rubs at when he's thinking. "We're not even really quadranted, are we? You just - I do love you, Lee, but I can't love you in a way that fits and I can't keep worrying about how - how messed up it is that you think licking someone's goddamn boots is okay if you just like them enough, if I'm also thinking about kissing you. I just can't." "You can kiss me all you like, darling - and do the other thing, too, if it strikes your fancy," you offer, instead of addressing the rest of the issue. You're already trying not to think about that. It does make your smile come out a little sickly, though. "No," Thistle murmurs, and the low lilt sends a shivery chill pricking its way down your spine. "I really can't. You're too much, Lee. I can't do it all myself. You let people get away with too much." This time, when he steps into your space, your back presses to cool brick and you squeeze your eyes shut. You press your palms to the red stone, and it's barely enough to ground you at all. Something dry and warm brushes against your bottom lip, and when you peer out from under your lashes, Thistle has his thumb up to your mouth. You kind of want to turn your face to kiss his palm, or maybe get cheeky and just nip his finger. Sucking it into your mouth is probably not tonally appropriate. You don’t do any of those things, though, because you’re just looking at his face and you can’t breathe. Last troll on the planet? He looks like he’s burying you.

“I don’t know how to be less,” you whisper against his hand, barely a breath, and - you want to bite your lip, to worry a fang at the little cut he’s got his thumb pressed against, but you’re too scared to move.

Thistle’s shoulders hunch even further. “I know,” he tells you, and all you can think is that it hardly seems fair, then. “Do you even remember where you got this?” It takes you a second to realize that referring to your lip, close as he is, because you sort of feel like he’s taken all your warmth and he’s this close to leaving and keeping it forever. Then it takes you another second to figure out how to answer without doing something upsetting. He’s still touching you.

“M’not drinking ‘nough water,” you mumble, shrugging carefully so as not to make him move. “S’just a split.”

Thistle shakes his head ‘no,’ and drops his hand. You immediately pull your bottom lip into your mouth, biting over it defensively as your arms cross over your stomach.

“No, Lee,” he says, and you hate how he’s saying your name. It’s not how you say his, not how you call him darling. He says your name the same way other people talk to their lusi after they’ve gone and shit on the carpet, but they know that dumb animals can’t help what they are and they just need to be patient.

“You were being a little shit because you thought it was cute, and I got properly annoyed and you let me bite you,” he says, “Like we’re pitch, even though we were kissing like we’re flush, even though-” And here your cheeks are flushing hot again, and you finally find where your warmth is and all you want is for it to go back, because it’s pooling in the corners of your eyes- “Even though,” he goes on, “We’re supposed to be pale.”

“You love me,” you tell him, and your voice cracks in your throat. “What’s it matter what color it all is?”

Thistle makes some inarticulate noise of frustration, and some sort of gesture. You don’t see it, on account of how blurry everything’s gotten through the tears, and you’ve gone and returned to staring at the ground. At his stupid boots.

“You think I don’t feel terrible?” he asks, and if he wasn’t so quiet it would practically be a wail. “For Empress’s sake, Lee, I’m not trying to make you cry, here, I just...”

“I can’t s-stop,” you inform him, and now that you’ve both acknowledged it, your shoulders start shaking in earnest. You press back into the wall, and shove the heels of your hands against your cheeks as if it’ll keep the tears in. “Would if I - if I could, da-da-arl-.”

You don’t bother trying to finish the word, and bend over in two, hiding your face in your hands. You can’t stop, you can’t, you wish you could just stop doing all of these things, stop running into red flags and conversational hedge walls or whatever metaphor you were trying to make earlier, stop being too much. You’re always too much, or not enough, and for as long as you remember you’ve been trying to be less and more and just get people to like you every once in a while. And now you’ve got someone that does like you, and he’s leaving you anyways, and of course you can’t stop yourself fucking crying about it.

Gravel crunches as Thistle steps forward, and he presses a hand to your back, rubbing slowly down your spine.

He stays there for as long as it takes for your tears to run out, and you don’t quite bring yourself to hug him back. You’re not sure you have the right to. When you finally manage to bring yourself to be still, his hand slides off your back, and you watch his boots as he leaves.