#the right answer is. that's what she thinks makes sense. but when he is in control of himself he says:
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Heart of a Woman
Author Note: Based on the song Heart of A Woman by Summer Walker. Y'all chose it! I hope you enjoy. If you want to leave a song request for a one shot please comment on this post. Check out my master list for other one shots / stories.
Warning: Smut, Angst, P in V, Oral (f! receiving), Profanity, Praise, Toxic Relationship
Pairing: Zilla Fatu x Black OC
Word Count: 3,210
MINORS DO NOT INTERACT
Only thing that saving you...
Is a Heart of a Woman…
Indya leaned over the large island in the kitchen of the house she shared with her boyfriend of three years, Isayah.
Pissed wasn't even the word. She was livid.
Moments ago she received a random message from an unknown number. It was a message every woman dreads to get.
A coming to you as a woman message.
Normally she would ignore it, majority of the time it was just women trying to ruin their relationship. She knew how popular Isayah has become in the last year. His wrestling career really taking off this past year. She knew groupies came with this lifestyle. She had trusted him. But this was a constant cycle they went through.
But this message was different. It had actual concrete proof. Pictures, screenshots and screen recordings of multiple messages and FaceTime calls.
She couldn't help but to feel the hurt and betrayal. Most of all she was more upset with herself. Knowing that this wasn't the first time, but continuously keep giving him second chances.
She was so focused on the messages. Continuously scrolling through them, in denial, trying to find something that didn't make this true. The more she kept looking it the more she became upset. Indya was so focused on the messages until the familiar ringtone, signaling an incoming FaceTime from Isayah, came to her phone.
When she answered the phone she could see he was outside somewhere. Seem like he was talking to someone beside before his focus turned to the phone. "What's up ma, you good?"
"I'm coo'" she was very short with him. Her attitude evident as he furrowed his brows together. She walked into the living room, propping the phone on the table before sitting on the couch.
Isayah could sense her energy through the phone. "You sure? Yo' tone says otherwise" concern laced in his voice.
"Who's Erica?" She didn't waste any time, crossing her arms waiting for an answer.
Isayah scrunched up his eyebrow, a look of confusion on his face "What'chu talkin' about?"
She rolled her eyes before continuing to speak. "I won't ask again Isayah," she stated pointedly "who is Erica?"
He looked away briefly before looking down into the phone "I don't know what'chu talkin' bout Indy"
"So we're going down the route of acting like we're dumb" she nodded her head. She grabbed her phone off the table, going to the message thread. Once she pulled it up she sent all the messages and screen recordings to him.
Isayah phone dinged from the other end. She watched his face as he read through the messages. He kissed his teeth, exiting out the thread. "Indya that's someone I used to deal with a long time ago. Haven't seen that girl in years"
"Do you really expect me to believe that?" Indya frowned. "You must take me as a dumb bitch if you think I'ma just let you sit here and lie to me when there's fucking proof!" she raised her voice. Getting more and more upset.
"You just gon' believe her over what I'm tellin' you. I'm yo' man right?" Isayah voice rising with every word.
"Are you my man though?" Indya lifted an eyebrow. She stared right back at him as he shot dagger through the screen.
"Indya, stop fuckin' playin' with me. I told you I ain't seen that girl in years, the fuck you trippin' for?" Indya was token back from his words, before nodding her head.
"You know what since you wanna play dumb, I'll act fucking stupid. Go be with that bitch and stay the fuck away from me. You're single, fuck you!" Indya hung up before he could get another word in. She threw her phone down, before placing her head in her hands. She felt the tears that have been threatening to fall for a while. The constant ringing of her phone, as Isayah kept calling and texting, sounded throughout the living room.
After a while, she wiped her eyes before grabbing her phone and blocking his number. Heading upstairs to sleep the night off.
[Few Days Later]
Indya was out on a girl's day with her best friends, Sabrina and Tara. They got her out the house to take her mind off the fight she had a few days ago with Isayah. Refusing to let their friend to wallow in her feelings.
They spent the day shopping, getting their nails done, and were currently at their favorite restaurant to have lunch.
After placing their order with their server, Sabrina looked over at Indya. "We've been avoiding this conversation all day, but I think it's time to address it" Tara nodded knowing what Sabrina was getting into. "How are you feeling Indy?"
Indya sighed, throwing her head back slightly "I think I am just more mad at myself for continuing to keep taking him back."
"You can't be upset with yourself about that," Tara grabbed Indya's hand "It is not your fault that he can't grow up and see what an amazing woman he has and to treat you accordingly"
Sabrina nodded in agreement before adding in her two cents "You have been nothing but great towards him and will literally drop everything just to make sure he's ok. We all make mistakes but it's just how we learn from it"
Indya nodded. Taking in her best friends words. "It's just so hard because I really do love him." she sniffled a bit, wiping the tear that fell.
"We understand girl," Tara sympathize with her best friend "but sometimes love isn't worth the hurt he's causing you"
"What do you plan on doing now?" Sabrina asked as she leaned back in her chair.
Indya sat in silence for a moment, she knew what she had to do. The decision didn't come so lightly "I'm done and forreal this time. I can't keep doing this"
"We your girls, we love you and will support you" Sabrina smiled grabbing her other hand. Tara nodding in agreement.
Indya blinked back more tears smiling at both her best friends. Truly appreciative of them. "Thanks I love y'all"
Soon the server brought over their food and the conversation shifted to something lighter. For the first time in a last few days Indya felt a weight lifted off her shoulders. Forgetting about the drama and enjoying the rest of the time with her best friends.
They paid the bill once they were done. Hopping into Sabrina's car, she started heading towards Indya's house. When the pulled up Indya sighed when she noticed Isayah's car in the driveway.
He was back after being gone for a week due to having shows and appearances. Sabrina looked over at Indya, a certain look in her eye. "Do you need us to come in with you?"
Indya shook her head as she grabbed her keys out her purse "It's fine"
"You sure?" Tara leaned up from the front seat "We can just go in and beat his ass real quick and get your stuff"
Indya softly laughed at her friends "I promise I'll be fine. I'll text y'all"
"Ok," Sabrina said unsure "you better text us"
Indya promised she would text them as she got out, Tara taking her place in the passenger seat. She waved bye to them before walking up to the front door. She blew out a breathe before unlocking the door going inside.
When she walked in Isayah was standing in the middle of the living room. She turned to the door locking it.
"Where you been?" Isayah questioned, watching her every movement. Indya ignored him, throwing her keys in the bowl by the door. Walking right by him. He furrowed his eye brow as he watched her walk towards the stairs.
With quick movements he grabbed upper arm, making her turn towards him. "You hear me talkin' to you"
"Unless you're here to admit to what the fuck you did, we don't have shit to talk about" she tried ripping her arm away from him. This caused him to grip tighter.
"I keep telling' yo' ass that ain't shit happen between me and that girl" His frown deepened looking her dead in the eyes.
"She literally sent me screenshots of y'all messages!" Indya felt her temper slowly increase the longer he held her arm. She was beginning to become frustrated.
"Her ass could've faked those messages and yo' goofy ass sitting here believin' them!" He raised his voice slightly.
Indya widen her eyes in shock. In disbelief of what he said. She pushed on his chest, finally releasing herself from his grip. "Explain the pictures and videos of y'all on FaceTime then Isayah! Do you think I'm dumb?!"
"Indya tread lightly on how you speakin' to me. This is your warnin'" He squinted his eyes her direction. This only fueled the petty side of her. No longer caring how she was making him feel.
"I don't give a fuck, you ain't scaring shit over here. You can go be with that bitch and y'all both can be hoes together!" She turned to go up the stairs, but before she could, she was pulled back.
Isayah wrapped a hand around the based of her throat, pulled her close which made her look up his towering frame. She slightly shuddered at the the look in his eyes. His eyes going completely dark, a mix of anger and lust lingering inside them.
"I done let'chu get fly at the mouth one too many times. Now it's time for you to listen to me" Indya was getting upset with herself for just how quick she submits to him. Knowing that this was the issue in the ever ending cycle of their relationship.
First their good, then she catches him cheating, he uses his manipulative ways, he dicks her down and then the cycle starts over.
He could see the wheels turning in her head. Knowing she was going to try to resist he quickly scooped her up, making his way up the stairs to their shared room.
He plopped her on the bed, hovering over her. Placing both hands on the sides of her head. He leaned down placing kisses along her neck and behind her ear.
Indya didn't want to fall into the same old pattern again. She took her hands, pushing against his chest. "Isayah we can-" her breathe hitched as he sucked on the spot right below her ear.
Surely leaving a mark, he took one of his hands trialing down her sides til he reached the hem of the shorts she was wearing. His hands found their way in, brushing against her wet folds.
Indya softly moaned, arching more into his touch. He entered one finger in her, groaning at how wet and tight she was. He leaned up to look her in the eyes, entering another finger. Indya moaning out as he quickened his movements.
"What were you sayin' baby?" Indya couldn't make up any coherent sentences, as her core tightened. "You want me to stop?" When he didn't get a response he slowed down "Do you want me to stop?" his voice deepened. Indya eyes popped open looking at him.
She whined as she moved her hips, desperate for any type of friction. Isayah took his other hand, placing them on her hips to still her movements. "No I don't want you to stop" completely submitting to him.
Satisfied with her answer he pulled her shorts and underwear off, leaving her lower half completely bare. He removed his shirt, throwing it across the room.
He left wet kisses trailing down her chest and stomach til he was leveled with her intimate area.
He skipped all the teasing, quickly latching on to her sensitive bundle on nerves, switching from flicking his tongue across it and slightly sucking on it. His fingers entered her once more.
Indya loudly moaned at the double stimulation. She grabbed at the sheets on the bed, trying to ground herself. "F-fuck Isayah .. I'm cumming"
Isayah sped up the strokes of his fingers. Hitting her spot continuously, Indya reaching her climax soon afterwards.
Isayah sat up, cupping her chin with his hands "open up for me baby" Indya stuck out her tongue, knowing exactly what he wanted. He stuck his fingers in her mouth, letting her lick off all her juices off his fingers. Once she was done he brought her into a searing kiss, tasting her sweet essence.
He pulled away looking her deep in her eyes. "Face down. Ass up. You better arch how I like it" he stated in a commanding tone.
Indya wasted time doing exactly what he said. Arching her back just how he liked. Isayah let out a groan of approval, sending a smack to her backside.
As Indya waiting in anticipation, she heard the soft sound of a zipper, as Isayah shredded the last bit of clothing, coming up right behind her. She felt Isayah glide the tip between her wet folds.
He slowly pushed in, Indya moaning out as he stretched her out. He stilled for few moments to allow her time to adjust. "Fuck, you're so tight for me ma"
Craving more, Indya moved her hips back. Isayah taking it as a sign, picking up his rhythm quickly. Indya screamed out as he practically fucked her into the bed.
She brought her back against his abdomen, trying to slow him down. He quickly grabbed her wrist, pinning it against her back. "Ain't no running. You been talkin' yo' shit, talk it now"
Indya couldn't think, her brain clouded by the immense pleasure he was giving her.
"I-Isayah I can't!" she moaned out loud. Feeling that familiar burn in the pit of her stomach.
"Shut the fuck up and take it. This what'chu wanted right" Indya moaned loudly, Isayah groaned as he felt her clench around his length. He knew she was getting close and stopped all movements causing Indya to whimper. "You don't get to cum til I tell you to"
Isayah grabbed her other arm, holding both in one hand. He rammed back into her, causing Indya to gasp loudly. Isayah's strokes were relentless.
The only sounds throughout the room were their skin slapping together, "Fuck, look at'chu takin' it for daddy so well" He sent a smack to her backside, Indya moaning at the stinging sensation.
"Baby I can't hold it," she let out a breathy moan, her climax being so close "I need to cum please" she begged desperately.
Once again Isayah stopped his strokes abruptly, pulling out of her. He laid down, pulling her on top of him. "You want yo' nut, you gotta earn it"
Indya straddled his waist, reaching back grabbing a whole of his length. She slowly slid down, both groaning at the contact. He took a hold of her hips, bringing her down more, engulfing all of him. "S-shit"
Indya placed one hand on his chest as she slowly went up and down. She moaned at the new angle she was in. Isayah hitting a new spot. Indya threw her head back as she picked up the pace.
"Who pussy is it" Isayah wrapped his hand around her throat "hmm, tell daddy who pussy this is"
Indya gasped, feeling that burn in the stomach "Fuck daddy it's yours"
She rotated her hips, earning a deep guttural groan from Isayah. "Fuck, you ain't leaving' me." He moaned out again, feeling his release brewing "Damn, you feel so good baby keep it right there."
She smiled inwardly. Feeling a little motivated sped up her movement, the grip he had on her hips tightened. "Isayah I'm cumming" she whined out.
Isayah felt her movements slow down, he sent another smack to her backside causing her to whimper. "Keep goin' and you better not fuckin' stop, daddy cummin' wit'chu"
With his hands wrapped around her waist he assisted by moving her faster up and down. Indya let out a drawn out moan as she released.
Her released triggering Isayah's own, pulling her into a searing kiss as they both came down from their euphoric high.
Indya woke up, feeling extremely groggy and sore from the events earlier. She groaned as she turned over, seeing Isayah still sleep. She heart feeling heavy, remembering everything that happened.
She reached for her phone seeing she had multiple missed calls and messages from Sabrina and Tara.
Bri🔥: Indya are you good? Bri🔥: I swear if something happened I will sliced tf out of that big ass Samoan idc Tara❤️: Girl you need to call us back. Tara❤️: Bri is going crazy over here. You better call soon or we're pulling up.
Indya quickly texted them both back, telling them that she was ok and that she would explain in a little bit. She noticed it was a quarter after midnight. She quickly but quietly got up, throwing her clothes from earlier back on.
When she looked back at Isayah, she felt rage start to build inside of her. Many thoughts were going through her mind. Then an idea clicked. She acted quickly, going into the closet and started grabbing his clothes.
She moved quietly, not wanting to wake him up. She walked outside going over to Isayah's Mercedes, stuffing the clothes in there. She repeated this process about 3 more times. She grabbed the keys, backing the car away from the house.
She went back inside grabbing the bags she had already packed, putting them in her car. Turning towards Isaiah's car once more, she took a lighter out of her pocket, flicking it on.
She hovered the flame over a piece of clothing til it caught the flame. Quickly spreading to other article of clothing.
Indya stood there for a moment, staring at the flame. Feeling it burn away all the hurt Isayah has cause her, feeling a sense of calm. She was quickly token out of her trance when she heard noise come from the house. Knowing it was Isayah coming, she quickly got in her car, starting it.
When she started backing up she saw him run out the house with nothing but a towel wrapped around his waist.
He saw his car in-flamed, his eyes widening in shock and rage "Indya what the fuck?!"
"Have fun with that bitch!" She quickly pulled off as he tried running towards the car.
Indya couldn't help but laugh but also cry as she felt the overwhelming feeling of freedom and her shoulders feeling lighter.
She didn't know how she did it but she found herself pulling in to Sabrina's house. Grabbing her things, she walked up the short walk way, knocking on the door.
The wait wasn't long, as Sabrina quickly opened up the door, staring at her friend. Eyes drifting to the bags beside her. Without saying a word she grabbed a bag, leading Indya in the house and to the guest bedroom.
She turned towards Indya, stood in the middle of the room. Silently crying. She brought her into hug as Indya began sobbing on her shoulder.
"I am here for you. I am so proud of you, finally choosing yourself" She let her cry on her shoulder for a while til she stopped. She pulled out the hug, wiping her friend's tears. "Get some sleep and we'll talk in the morning" leaving the room.
Indya sighed, going into one of the bags, changing into a pajama set. She crawled in the bed, engulfing herself with the pillows and blankets, sleep finding her quickly.
#wwe#wwe fanfiction#wwe x black oc#zilla fatu x black oc#zilla fatu x oc#zilla fatu x reader#zilla fatu#zilla fatu smut#Spotify#talks with trips#trippiexlove
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Twelve Days: Part 5 **^
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Here's the next part! Sorry it took so long 😭 But A LOT happens in this part and it might make y'all a little angry but I think the ending makes up for it!
Full Series Masterlist
WC: 10.5K
Warnings: Infidelity, mentions of slight germaphobia, mentions of unkept/untidy home life, fear of abandonment, sex (unprotected, penetrative), mentions of divorce.
It didn’t take as long as you had been expecting to hear back from Harry. Just another few days, you had just gotten into your car after a dinner service at a client’s home when his call came in. You were excited but feeling a bit nervous regarding the purpose of the call, it could be very casual but given the precarious situation you all found yourselves in, it could also be a call about things getting even more complicated. Regardless of what it was, you wanted to hear his voice.
“Hello?” You answered as you started to take off.
“Hi, how was your day?” He asked and you smiled.
“It was alright. And yours?” You asked.
“Busy. I had two lectures today, I’m just getting my things together before going home.” He shared.
“Okay. I am just heading home myself.” You shared.
“Good, I’m glad we get to accompany each other on our drives.” He said and you smiled.
“So how was it when you got back home?” You asked.
“We had a fight…she AirTag-ged my car.” He disclosed and your features twisted in concern.
“What?!”
“Right? Said she needed to confirm that I would go see you. I told her that I would’ve been honest about my plans if she asked.” Harry explained.
“It’s not like we did anything bad.”
“That’s what I told her. She seemed surprised for some reason.”
“Maybe because I’ve always been the more…liberated of the two.” You explained and he chuckled a bit and you smiled. “This would also disprove her theory that you’ve been spending time with me to make her jealous. I feel like that pisses her off more than anything.” You explained. “She’s always been first choice…” you said, “I get it though. She just puts herself out there more and whatnot, she’s easier to notice. I don’t mind that. I’m definitely more of a background girl, it’s where I thrive and feel comfortable so I’ve never competed her for it and I think she might…sense this…us as me trying to compete with her.” You explained.
“Well that’s shitty for me.”
“It is. And I promise you, I’m not trying to compete for you.” You assured him.
“I know, love. It just sucks thatshe is…” he said solemnly.
“I’m sorry.” You whispered.
“Don’t feel bad for me, love.” He hummed.
“I do because you don’t deserve it. No one does! I just hopes she…gets some clarity soon. This is getting so insane.” You sighed.
“I don’t want to…create a bigger divide but she’s being pretty harsh towards you. She thinks it’s stupid of me to invest all this time in you because according to her, you’re a flake.” He said and you pouted.
“A flake?” You asked for clarification, you were shocked.
“Yep…she’s just saying things at this point.”
“Yeah.” You hummed.
“Well, I’ve given her a month, in my head. To just get her ducks in a row, meet with the lawyer, figure out what she’s going to do…if she doesn’t, I’m going to talk to your parents and ask them to please…reason with her.” He shared and you hummed, “Do you think they would?” He asked you.
“I think so…they love you so much. My mom has always said you’re the son she never got to have.” You shared and he chuckled.
“Did she?”
“She did! Has actually said it on multiple occasions.” You reassured him.
“Well that does make me feel better.” He hummed.
“Good.” You grinned.
After getting that over with, it was just some light conversation about the good and bad parts of your days until he had arrived home. You were going to do some grocery shopping before getting back to your apartment but assured him you’d let him know when you’d made it home.
Thankfully, Ash hadn’t shown up again. You half expected another visit and had been feeling on edge arriving at your apartment the last few days, but with each passing day you tried to let the anxiety diminish. You were loving your quiet life alone so far. You also liked your apartment and were sad that you might have to move if he ever showed up again, but you just needed to not see him again. It was disrespectful really, his inability to honor your wishes after he had left you the way he had. You were feeling even more upset by Bea telling him where you had moved to. You let her know that what she had done was completely unacceptable and just blocked her on everything. You’d observed the way she always got a little more flirty when Ash was around but didn’t think it’d get to the point where she’d share your private information just to get on his good side. Especially when she knew you wanted nothing more to do with him. Hopefully, you’d seen the last of him so that you could actually focus on the dilemma at hand. Your sister.
You were genuinely feeling really worried over what Julie’s next steps would be. You wanted to talk to her but she wasn’t answering your calls or responding to any of your texts just yet. Of course she had the right to be angry with you, but to think you were just using Harry for attention or to make her jealous? That wasn’t in your nature at all. To call you a flake? You were steadfast as can be, she knew this. You were raised the same. You were definitely hurt by her remarks, but you founds some solace in the knowledge that she was projecting her own insecurities about Joe onto you. This was the man who she had personally told you had some commitment issues! The man who undoubtedly made his way back into her life when he saw the seemingly perfect life she was leading with Harry via her social media, through the outlet she had used to allow him back into her life.
You wanted to correct this narrative Julie had made up of you so badly because she ought to know you better than what she was choosing to believe of you. You had never had the type of sister relationship that made you best friends, like you’d mentioned to Harry, there’d always been an air of competition. Being just three years older than you, you’d coincided academically on a few occasions and you really didn’t start to “fight back” until high school. Naturally, you were a bit more likable because you were more laid back . You were great in your classes without imparting as much effort, which surprised your teachers. You soon learned that they expected you to be a little more of a wooer as she had been but when they learned you weren’t they eased up on you, the other students did too. Comparison was a killer and after one awful fight she told you that you had ruined her senior year. She had been cold towards you after that until she was off at college. And well, you decided not to go that route, you went to culinary school instead. And that gave her enough of the sense of superiority that she needed to have over you to placate her.
It had been a week after your conversation with Harry that you had your appointment with your therapist and had gotten to speak to her about what your sister had been saying and how you were feeling about it all. She had been supportive of you trying to go speak with her and so you had done just that. It was the end of her workday and though you felt like a stalker for being parked next to her car waiting for her…this was the only way you’d get anything from her. When you saw her approaching the car you hopped out of yours. As soon as she caught your gaze she noticeably became deflated.
“What are you doing here?” She asked you and you offered a slightly nervous smile.
“Hi.” You greeted Julie. “I was just hoping we could go for dinner and talk?” You asked hopefully.
“About?” She asked cooly.
“What you saw.” You said and you saw her lips purse a bit as she gnawed the inside of her cheek pensively.
“I don’t know…I mean…I know what I saw, I don’t think we need to rehash it.” She stated as she crossed her arms.
“Well you’re still not talking to me so…”
“Because you kissed my husband!” She scowled.
“I know and I’m sorry-”
“No you’re not.” She cut you off.
“I’m not sorry for kissing him. I’m sorry that my actions upset you and angered you.” You clarified.
“So you’re sorry you got caught?” She asked.
“Not necessarily…I mean, I know that you actually don’t care that I kissed him. You don’t love him, so I know that it didn’t hurt you.” You said and she glanced away, “So I’m here to figure out what exactly you’re still so offended with me over.” You said and her gaze found yours again.
“You couldn’t have gone for anyone else?” She asked.
“I didn’t go for him, Julie! We were literally just talking about the things that we were dealing with. I mean, we’ve always had a good relationship as friends, you know that! But through these experiences we’ve been through we bonded on a new level. The attraction was just…there. It wasn’t on purpose. It wasn’t a plan of any sort! And the fact that you believe I would do something like that…” you said sadly, “I’m not calculating like that. You know that. And to be quite honest with you, I feel like…your anger actually has nothing to do with me. It’s just being directed at me and that makes me upset.” You said and her jaw clenched a bit. “Well…that’s all I wanted to say so…” you trailed off and she just nodded but said nothing else.
After standing there in silence for a few seconds you just got into your car and left. You had done your part and now, the ball was in Julie’s court. You hoped that she would give what you’d said some honest thought and consideration. You had only been on the road for a few minutes when a call came in from Harry.
“Hey.” You greeted him.
“That was enthusiastic.” He chuckled sardonically and you couldn’t help but smile.
“Sorry. I’m just heading home from ambushing my sister.” You informed.
“Ah…I take it didn’t go too well?”
“Not really…” you confirmed. “She didn’t say much apart from the usual accusations of me interfering in your marriage.” You sighed. “I also presented to her the idea that maybe the things she’s been saying of me are actually her displacing her anger with her situation with Joe onto me. That one did upset her, I saw it in her eyes.” You elaborated.
“Yeah, she doesn’t love to be in the wrong…” Harry chuckled.
“Yeah. And have you made any headway with her?”
“I don’t know…we’ll see tomorrow. She has an appointment with the lawyer. I’ve already asked mine what I can do if she refuses to sign.”
“And what did the lawyer say?”
“I can petition through the court for them to serve her the divorce papers. If she does’t sign within a certain timeline then the judge can make a default ruling to dissolve the marriage. So there is a way to proceed if she doesn’t abide by my timeline. I just…I don’t want to put her through that humiliation because the only place I know where to find her apart from our house would be her job.”
“Yeah, that’s low…” you agreed. “I mean, you can AirTag her…” you chuckled and he laughed.
“I could…that low has been reached.” He hummed in amusement. “We also have to get a court date if I go that route and who knows how long that would take.”
“Yeah…let’s just hope she does the right thing and comes around.”
“Yeah.” Harry agreed. “I’d like to see you again soon.” He said after a beat of silence.
“I’d like to see you too.” You hummed.
“Been seeing those videos of the couples painting each other…” Harry shared and you giggled.
“Is that what you want to do?”
“Yeah! I think it’d be fun, don’t you?” He asked and you giggled some more.
“Yeah, I think so too!”
“And I can cook for you this time.”
“Love that.” You hummed.
“And we can ask each other all the questions we have for each other over dinner and the painting.” He added to his suggestion.
“Yeah! That sounds like such a fun evening!” You agreed excitedly.
“Good! So let me know when you’ll have at least two days in a row off so that we can also have a little extra time the day after.”
“Okay, I’ll check my work calendar when I get home.”
“Perfect.” Harry smiled. “How are you holding up? Did Ash show up again?”
“I’m alright, still feeling a little…annoyed, I guess. But no, he didn’t come back.” You shared.
“Would you want him to come back? I mean, just so you can clear the air?”
“The more I give it some thought, not really. He’s said what he wanted to say…that he made a mistake, that he loves me and wants me back…” you said with a sarcastic, sing-song-y cadence.
“Do you want to say anything to him?”
“Just how much he hurt me but if anything, that gives him more power over me and I’d hate that.” You confessed.
“I’d hate that for you too. But if you need that for your closure then it might be worth thinking over before completely disregarding it.” Harry advised, as much as he really did hate the thought of you giving Ash another morsel of your time and attention. He wasn’t jealous, more protective than anything. You were still a shell of yourself and he hated that Ash had done that to you.
“Maybe you’re right…but I mean, just saying it out loud is enough for now.” You said, “Thank you for…making me feel comfortable and safe enough to be able to say it.” You thanked him.
“Of course, love.” Harry replied.
Harry was happy that he could make you feel safe and looked after. But he also wanted that same reassurance from you. He understood why you weren’t leaning into that
and into your feelings for him just yet though. You had every right to feel wary about what you two had going, especially with the stance Julie had taken. But that also meant that right now he had no one to really talk about his heavier and darker feelings. He knew for a fact that if he communicated that to you, you’d be there for him but he also didn’t want to overburden you while you yourself were struggling.
“And what about you? I know that maybe your feelings for Julie are not what they used to be but…it also can’t be easy for you.” You said and he bit his lip as he gave some thought to what he wanted to say.
“You’re right about that…It hasn’t been easy. I mean, because of my family and all, it’s created this…fear of being left behind.” He explained. “That weekend that I went to see you?”
“Mhmm?”
“She didn’t come home until Monday afternoon and when I got in she’d left her suitcase by the garage door and I was just filled with dread that she was leaving without saying anything to me.” He explained. “It felt…confusing…because, while I know that the love isn’t there anymore I still…invested a lot in her. In our home…”
“Yeah, I get that.” You assured him.
“And again, it was just that fear of not having a family again. That after everything I did to build a happy home life for myself, I’d still end up…alone.” He disclosed. After a few seconds of quiet he cleared his throat. “Sorry, that was a lot.”
“Don’t be. I was just…processing, empathizing…” you said and he hummed, “If anything, I’d like you to say all of this to me as it comes. You’re always here for me. I want to be here for you too.”
“I want to tell you more but I don’t want to put more on your plate.” He explained.
“I appreciate that but I am feeling better…mentally.”
“Yeah? Since when?”
“Since…you.” You said and Harry smiled.
“Yeah?”
“Yeah. Honest. It’s nice to have a friend and someone to care for with reciprocity.”
“It is. And for the record, I know that you’ll always be in my life. But a part of me is also scared that we won’t be able to have more down the line. Like, what if that gets ruined?”
“So my same fear?” You asked and he hummed.
“Guess so.” He confirmed.
“Well, there’ll always be space for you in my life. I mean that. I feel good when I’m with you and I can only imagine that it’ll only get better if we…are more.” You said timidly.
“I think so too.” Harry hummed and you smiled. “I understand that we both have things to heal from though and that it might take some time to get anywhere near where we might want to get eventually…” he trailed off and chuckled, “I don’t know if maybe I’m getting ahead of myself but I really like you and I like that I can fully be myself around you.” He explained.
You could feel your heart pounding so hard at what he was saying. You could feeling a warmth growing inside of you and spreading all throughout your body. This crush you had on him had you so affected. To hear him saying this was more of a relief than a cause for anxiety. You hadn’t allowed yourself to think that far out of fear that maybe it was intense for now but would fizzle out at some point down the line. But to hear him say that he wanted to give you two an honest shot when things got better, it made you feel a little less delusional. You loved his vulnerability with you. You could also be yourself around him in a way that was so pure. You knew he wouldn’t judge or make you feel bad for it. There was a baseline safety with him that helped your closeness grow quickly.
“Ummm…sorry. D-did I lose you?” He asked nervously and you shook your head quickly.
“Oh my god, no sorry! I was just…so happy to hear you say that.” You giggled.
“Thank god…” he chuckled in relief.
“So sorry.” You laughed through an apology again and he joined you as well.
“Ummm…a-are you far from Santa Barbara?” He asked and you bit your lip.
“Like…almost 30 minutes?”
“Hmmm…do you work tomorrow?”
“I actually don’t…” you shared.
“Can I come see you?” He asked.
“Now?”
“Yeah!” He chuckled, “If you don’t mind the company, it’s gonna be a long weekend. I won’t have class until next Wednesday.”
“You want to spend a whole ass week with me?”
“Yeah. If you’ll have me.” He hummed.
“What about Julie? I don’t want to instigate any bigger issues.”
“She hasn’t really been staying at the house since she returned from her weekend getaway.” Harry shared, “So…I think she’ll be fine.”
“Well then, I’d love to have you over.” You confirmed happily.
“Great! I’m just getting home so I’m gonna get showered, pack, and head over to you.”
“Perfect! See you soon!” You chirped, not even bothering to minimize your excitement.
“Alright, I’ll be seeing you soon.” Harry chuckled.
***********
It was nearing 8pm when Harry was calling to tell you he was outside of your building. You hurried down with your visitor’s badge to ensure his car was safe while parked there and soon enough you were heading back up to the warmth of your apartment.
“Have you eaten?” You asked him as he followed you in.
“Not yet. Do you want to order in?”
“We can but I’m not too hungry to be honest.” You explained.
“Has that been constant lately?” He asked as he set his luggage against your couch and his tote down on the couch.
“No, it’s actually been better. But I’m just…coming off my anxious wave after I ambushed Julie. I feel like it was alright but maybe I’ve made things worse.” You explained your concern as he came up to you and grabbed your hands.
“I get the anxiety but I must say that I’m proud of you for making an effort. And well, you know your sister, and whatever she does with what you said is out of your hands now, love. So try not to be too worried about it.” He advised you and you exhaled and nodded. “I know it’s a lot easier said than done, but you’ve said what you needed to and done your part, yeah?” He asked you and you nodded. “That’s all there is to it.” He said with an encouraging smile.
“I know…” you sighed and glanced down as his hands ran up your arms and rubbed over your shoulders soothingly a few times.
“Y/N?”
“Yeah?” You asked as you turned your gaze back to him.
“I’m really proud of you for doing that. I know it wasn’t easy for you.”
“Thank you.” You whispered happily.
“Can I kiss you?” He asked next and you smirked a bit.
“Of course.” You hummed as one of his hands grabbed your chin gently and angled you up, “Kiss me whenever you want.” You said softly and he smiled.
“I don’t think you know what you’re unleashing…” he responded and you giggled.
“Show me then.” You smirked and he leaned in the rest of the way until your lips were meeting.
You loved to kiss Harry and thought of it often when you’d get lost in your day dreams. The shape of his lips fit so nicely against yours. The pressure of them pressing to your own, the eagerness and need that you could feel flooding the atmosphere between the two of you was addicting. If only he knew how much you were affected by this. Your mouth parted easily to let him in as his tongue swiped against your bottom lip. He moaned in relief in perfect unison with you when his tongue smoothed against yours. He had been longing for your taste as much as you had been longing for his. You grabbed his hands and guided them around your waist and he was quick to hug around you, pulling you even closer to his body as your kiss deepened. It was so easy to get lost in the moment with Harry. You were not sitting on your counter with him standing between your legs as you made out. His hands were up your shirt and yours were feeling over his biceps. You hadn’t ever been with someone as muscular as he was. He didn’t even have to flex for you to feel how strong and built he was.
You were suddenly startled apart by your phone ringing loudly across the counter indicating that it was time for you to begin your “no screen” time. It was easy to find yourself doom scrolling, especially when you struggled to sleep, so you’d made the resolution to cut down your screen time starting at 8pm each night.
“Can you grab it for me?” You asked Harry, your lips smearing into his as you asked your question and he nodded.
“Sure.” He responded and slid his hands from beneath your shirt and walked around the counter to grab your phone before bringing it back to you.
“Sorry, I’m trying to stop using my phone by 8pm each night.” You explained as you stopped the alarm and proceeded to turn on “Do Not Disturb��� mode for the night.
“Smart!” He said as his hands landed on your thighs.
“It’s hard but research says cutting off screen time before bed helps.”
“Well, that’s true.” He assured you and you smiled. “And it’s 8 already? I should order something in.” He said before stuffing his hand down his back pocket and pulling out his phone. “Are you hungry now?” He asked you with a smirk.
“Yeah, more now.” You chuckled.
“Hungry for anything in particular?”
“Tacos?” You suggested.
“Ooh, perfect! What’s good in your area?” He asked and soon you had selected a little mom and pop, hole in the way a couple miles away that had never failed you before.
After placing the order you suggested Harry get into something more comfortable and then get settled in.
“Sorry, I don’t have any space for your toiletries.” You mumbled, “But you’re more than welcome to put your clothes in a drawer! The one of the top right should be empty.”
“It’s fine. As long as you don’t mind the bag staying up here. If not I’ll just keep it in my soot case.” He said with the Baron Trump meme accent. You looked to him and burst into laughter at this.
“I’m dead! I love that video!” You cackled.
“It’s funny!” He laughed along, “One of my students showed it to me…s’been stuck in my head ever since.” He explained with a smile.
“It is a gem…well, I don’t mind you having your things out for easier access!” You assured him.
“I’m tidy. I promise.” He chuckled and you rolled your eyes playfully. “Tell me what your pet peeves are in a shared space, so that I can avoid them.” Harry requested.
“Ummm…just don’t be gross. Ash used to do this ridiculous thing where he’d leave his dirty laundry beside the hamper…” You recalled and Harry chuckled, “That pissed me off. Like it’s right there!” You expressed.
“Yeah, that’s stupid.” He chuckled.
“Or leave his towel on the ground, like he was in a fucking hotel.”
“Oh god…” Harry grimaced, “The smell…”
“Yeah! Mildewy and ugh…thinking of it is giving me the ick.” You frowned. “One time he did not unpack it from the gym and-”
“I know where it’s going, you don’t need to tell me.” He said and you giggled.
“I discovered it, so I have to tell you.”
“Fine. Go on.”
“It grew mold. The whole bag! And who discovered it in the garage?”
“Not Ash!”
“Exactly! And it was so humid that week…God, that was horrifying. Then he had the gall to be pissed at me for throwing away his Alo gym bag…ridiculous.” You huffed.
“If he cared so much about it why did he leave it in that state? What a prick.” He said and you nodded in agreement.
“Exactly what I said…he probably left it in his trunk, encountered the smell and just left it in the garage for me to find and wash.” you rolled your eyes. “And like, he wasn’t like nasty apart from those things. Like, you could tell his mom would do those things for him and his brothers.” You explained and he nodded. “What about you?” You asked.
“Ummm… well growing up my house was very neat until my mom met that prick of a man and then it was pretty unkept. I did a lot of the cleaning up so uh…I guess just clutter and dishes in the sink. That invites ants and cockroaches, which I detest. And well, one time I was going to treat myself to some biscuits and was met with a mouse in the packet so uh… yeah, I’m a little bit of a clean freak.” He explained. You could see that when he talked about these things he got a distant look in his eyes. Like he had to remind himself that, that wasn’t his life anymore. “Also, no eating in bed.” He added, “Because that is literally inviting bugs.” He explained and you nodded.
“Noted. Though I must admit, I have eaten in bed…specially when I’ve gotten sick and no one’s around to look after me.”
“Well you’ve got me now so…no need for that.” He said and you smiled.
“Yeah.” You hummed. “But being in the valley, there are just critters around so it is important to keep things extra clean. I haven’t had any encounters, thankfully! I’m very averse to them.” You explained.
“Yeah, they’re gross.” He agreed.
“Anything else?” You asked.
“Oh! Getting on the bed in outside clothes.”
“Okay, yes!” You agreed, “There are “safe” spaces for me though, I don’t know about you? But like if I visit my parents or friends that don’t have pets, I wouldn’t mind a quick sit on my bed, not gonna roll around in it either…” you said and he chuckled, “But that’s not as gross as if I had gone out to a restaurant or the movies, for example.”
“Well, wouldn’t your car seats have all the germs from everywhere else? So when you sit in the car that gets on your clothes, even if you were in a safe space…” you pouted after he explained.
“Oh god…we could be laying in filth right now…” you said with feigned concern.
“When did you last wash your comforter?” He asked, you knew he was trying to come off pretend-horrified but his eyes said otherwise.
“I’m messing with you! Literally over the weekend. I promise!” You laughed as he looked at you skeptically.
“Pinky promise?”
“Yeah!” You said as you extended your pinky out to him and he wrapped his around yours.
“If I get pink eye, we know what happened here.” He joked and you rolled your eyes at his dramatics as he sniggered. He then interlaced his fingers with yours and just held your hand in his. You could see that there was a lot going on in his mind and you wanted to help however you could.
“Is there anything you want to talk about?” You asked him tentatively.
“Tons! But ummm…time and place.” He said as he glanced down at your hands. You squeezed his hand and he glanced up at you.
“Tell me.” You insisted and he sighed.
“Just that…when your sister leaves, for good, I was thinking about how long I’d have to be alone in that house. Like…I saved up a lot for that with the hopes of having a life and a family there, you know?” You nodded in understanding. “I don’t know if I could be there as comfortably if I were alone. I’d hate to sell it but…what would be the point in keeping it?” He asked and you hummed. “And you really don’t have to say anything about it, I just…am a little nervous to be all alone again. And like, I know that I wouldn’t be totally alone, but in a way I haven’t been in a decade you know?”
“Yeah, I get that.” You assured him.
“Like things would be missing that have been there since we moved in together…half of the things would be gone…and well, I couldn’t very well ask or expect you to be able to visit as often as I’d probably like…” he added.
“I get it. It’s scary.” You said and he nodded.
“How’d you do it?” He asked and you smiled.
“Well, I’m in the middle of that and well, I am depressed!” You chuckled and he smiled, “So…still learning how to cope, I guess. This, with us? It’s helped. I don’t feel so alone anymore.” You explained.
“Good.” He hummed.
“Yeah, so if you… need me to go out there and hang out you can ask. Whatever the reason in your brain is that’s holding you back from asking me for reciprocity? It’s wrong. If being there and enjoying the home you worked so hard for is important to you, then it’s important to me too.” You assured him with a sincerity that he hadn’t seen from anyone in years and you saw his lips turn up a bit.
Harry just felt this sudden rush of warmth overcome him. He definitely wanted you over more, he just felt a little bad about it right now while things were still up in the air. He wanted to live there forever, he hadn’t committed to buying a home thinking that he would one day grow sick of it. It was heaven on earth to him. He could step out onto his balcony and see the ocean from it! Of course he had made compromises along the way to accommodate Julie like in decor, in paints, upgrades…but he still loved the house. And to know that you’d be willing to make the drive out and spend time with him there simply because he loved it and was comfortable there, well, that was almost more than he could ever ask for. So he was really glad that you had offered it.
“I’d actually really like that.” He finally said and you smiled.
“Okay. Then we’ll make it happen.” You assured him and he smiled and let go of your hand but only because he was pressing himself up to kiss you again. And as your new normal seemed to be, you got lost in it until the delivery person’s call was interrupting you.
You had initially been concerned that maybe you’d pushed him too far or said too much but by the way he was acting now, it seems you had said the correct thing. Harry was a protector, he always had been that way. He was very concerned for your sister, for you, your family… it was never in a way that made you feel incapable, but he just liked to show you all that he would take care of you all if shit hit the fan. You knew that it had been hard for him not to be able to do that for you in the last year, even when he was going through his own stuff. So now, you wanted to allow him to make up for lost time and as you had said, you wanted to reciprocate the way he made you feel and were glad that he felt like you were.
“M’afraid you’re not gonna get a turn, love…” Harry practically slurred with his cheek smushed up against your stomach. You were currently laid on the couch, longways of course, and had put on “Miss Congeniality”. But you had agreed to give each other massages. However, Harry had elected for you to massage his head and it was putting him to sleep.
You giggled, but kept on going. “S’alright.” You responded softly. You could feel him growing heavier against you. “Maybe we should move to the bed though. Don’t want you to have a rough night.” You explained.
“In a minute.” He mumbled.
“Okay.” You agreed.
Soon enough you’d made it to your bed and as soon as you got under the covers he was reaching for you and pulling you against him. You smiled as you snuggled in against him. You felt him kiss your shoulder before he exhaled and you knew it would be so easy to fall asleep tonight.
*************
When you woke up the next morning it wasn’t because of your alarm, it was just a force of habit. But you were shivering from the cold and were pleased that it was apparently raining. You could heard the soft patter against your bedroom window. And then, you heard Harry humming along to John Mayer just a few feet away in the kitchen. Despite wanting to stay tucked away in the warmth of your bed, you got up and hurried into the bathroom to relieve yourself and freshen up a little bit. When you emerged, Harry was back in bed, topless and smiling at you.
“Morning.”
“Good morning.” You smiled.
“You were snoring.”
“I was not…” you mumbled bashfully as you headed back over to the bed.
“You were! But not like, loud or scary, it was just soft.” He described with a grin. “It was cute! Like a cartoon.” He assured you and you rolled your eyes as you got back in bed. “I just put on some coffee.”
“Thanks.” You hummed as you turned on your side to face him.
“Course.”
“Now, c’mere, please. It’s cold.” You requested and he smiled and hurried over into your side.
“What do you wanna do today?” He asked.
“Be lazy.” You said and he chuckled. “I do have a client to cook for tomorrow, s’just dinner prep, so I should be back around 6-6:30 the latest.”
“Would you be up to doing something after?” He asked.
“Yeah!” You hummed.
“Something lowkey, yeah?”
“Yeah, that sounds good.” You confirmed.
“Perfect. Now, I’m gonna kiss you.” He mumbled.
He moved closer and leaned in until your lips were meeting slowly but still eager and saturated with passion. Your hand landed on his chest and slid over his shoulder, tugging him into you, inviting him to settle over you. Your legs tangled momentarily as he started to straddle you. He was holding your jaw as your kiss deepened even further. His hands were sliding up your body, dragging your top up as he went. You sat up to help him pull it off and as soon as he was able, he was back on you, his lips littering your chest in kisses and delicate but playful nicks to your breasts. Your fingers combed through his hair, relishing in the sensations he was giving you. You were absolutely desperate for him and your skin was tingling, you were desperate to feel the warmth of his hands over your arms. You wanted to kiss him again and so you tried to tug him up and he quickly got the hint and kissed up your chest, neck, and jaw before kissing you sloppily. You ground up against him to feel the bulge in his thin pajama pants against you. He grinned and ground down against you with more intent.
“Is that what you want?” He asked and you blinked up at him.
“More.” You whispered and his gaze softened.
“You sure?” He asked you and you nodded.
“Yes. Please.” You beseeched and Harry smiled before kissing you once more. In moments, he was helping you undress. You were both moving impatiently and albeit a little clumsily, but you were absolutely desperate for each other. And as his naked body hovered over yours you finally felt a little bit better. Relieved. “Please get inside me.”
“Okay.” He hummed and kissed your lips once more, “Didn’t think to bring condoms. D-do you have some?” He asked and you huffed.
“No.” You muttered in slight irritation. You hadn’t planned to ask him to have sex with you, if you had, you would have stocked up, just in case.
“Would you care if we didn’t use one?” He asked and you bit your lip pensively. “Obviously, we don’t have to if you’re not comfortable with it. And well, I can go buy some really quick and give you some time t-to really think about if you really want to do this. You know, in case you maybe have s-some doubt?” He asked.
“I don’t have any doubts.” You assured him with a smile, “D-do you?” You asked and he shook his head, his little smirk mirroring your own.
“No. I can go get the condoms.” He said again and you bit your lip for a second.
“Ummm…that’s alright.” You assured him and as happy as he was to hear you say that, he gave it a few seconds to let you change your mind.
“Sure?” He asked again and you nodded.
“I’m so fucking sure.” You whispered through a nervous chuckle and he smiled and kissed you again.
“I’ll be mindful to pull out, okay?��� He mumbled into your lips.
“Yeah.” You agreed as you raised your leg over his hips to give him space to get inside of you. You could feel the heat and weight of his cock pressed up against you. “I want you so bad.” You whispered.
“I do too, baby.” He hummed as he ground down, letting his cock settle between the sticky and swollen folds of your pussy. You shivered when his tip kissed at your clit with his soft thrusts. “Right there?” He asked and you nodded frantically.
“Yeah, that feels good.” You confirmed breathily and he smiled as his eyes bore into yours.
“Go on then, get what you need.” He hummed lowly and you wasted no time in grinding along with him at your desired pace. You whined lowly as you started to feel the pleasure escalating from the friction. Just when you were getting close you stopped yourself.
“Want to stop?” He asked you, looking into your eyes to ensure everything was okay.
“No, but I don’t want to come like that.” You explained a bit bashfully.
“Oh…I see.” He hummed with a smirk on his face that made you blush. “Get me inside then.” You smiled and reached down between your bodies. You grabbed a hold of his cock, he was so fucking hard. You raised your hips a bit as you guided him down to your entrance and when you felt that slight dip you rubbed him over your slit a few times. Your eyes flickered up to his only to see his brows furrowed together at the feeling of being just on the edge of slipping inside of you.
“Do it.” You whispered and he let his weight drop down to his hips and just like that he was being swallowed up by your hot and wet muscle. The two of you moaned in unison when he sunk in all the way and collided with your back wall. He held inside for a few second before groaning as he drew back and sunk in again. You exhaled shakily and grabbed his face to kiss him deeply. “Harder.” You said and he nodded before fucking into you with more force and that was absolutely what you were after. You moaned in relief and he kissed you deeply again.
“Good?” He asked.
“Yeah, it feels so good!” You whined and he hummed in satisfaction.
You were already so close, but you wanted to be closer, as close as was physically possible. You wanted to feel overwhelmed by him in the best way possible. And when he delivered his next thrust harder than before you couldn’t help the moan that fell from your mouth. Harry groaned and went again and again, relishing in the satisfied, little grunts you were making. You were absolutely drenching his cock but you couldn’t help it because he was thrusting up against the most sensational spot inside of you. It was almost too deep for you but you welcomed the feeling, you wanted to feel the ache after he was gone in a few days. And it’s almost like he could read your mind as he thrust in and held himself inside of you, grinding into you, watching as your eyes squeezed shut and you shuddered at the sensation of him fucking you that deep.
“Fuck y’feel so good!” You whimpered as you squeezed your legs around his hips and he grinned as he watched your brows pinching together.
“Not as good as you feel, baby.” He hummed lowly, “So fucking wet and hot…” he grumbled, “Shit…gonna need you so fucking badly. All the time. Gonna be dreaming of how nice it feels.” He muttered against the column of your throat.
You were completely covered in goosebumps, you were trying to stop your legs from trembling but you wouldn’t be able to hold that off for much longer. It just felt too fucking good…he was hitting a part inside of you that even had your clit tingling, if you rubbed on it, it would truly be too much. As badly as you wanted and needed to come, you wanted him to keep fucking you. For him to be your first fuck after all this time, it was well worth it. You could hear the wet squelches of your arousal slicking up his cock and helping him fit inside of you. His girth and length were to die for and absolutely addictive.
“Fuck, you’re gonna make me come!” you warned him and he grinned down at you, very pleased with himself for how fucked out he had you already.
“Already?” He gloated slightly and you smiled and nodded. Your vision was even blurry at this point as tears of ecstasy and joy welled up in your eyes. “You’re already so fucking gone f’me, S’gonna wipe you out.” He said smugly and you hummed with a slight smile.
He was right, this orgasm would absolutely ruin you and melt your brain. He was literally fucking you better, quite literally forcing your brain to flood your body with that deliciously and slightly terrifying cocktail of oxytocin and dopamine. You swore your skin was tingling, every single cell in your body was going to contribute to this orgasm. But the longer you held off the more intense everything felt. Your walls were throbbing uncontrollably and you were trying so hard to just hold off for a second to make it last longer but it made it worse, as you squeezed the deep plunges of his cock became even more pleasurable and your legs started to tremble and your breathing to shallow.
“Come on, baby. Give it t’me.” He encouraged you and you nodded before pulling him down to kiss you and as your lips met urgently in a messy kiss you started to come. You emitted these pathetic whines and whimpers you’d never ever made before as the ecstasy took over every single part of your body. You were trying not too make too much noise but you were on fire and it had never felt like that before, it was almost too much! Harry’s lips parted from yours so that you could breathe and properly release your sounds as your hips ground up into his to keep the pleasure going. One of your hands pressed down on his butt, holding him close to you and the other was tangled in the curls at the back of his head. He groaned as you squeezed hard around his cock. Your tight, hot muscles were suffocating and contracting around his girth, he nearly fucking drooled from how delicious it felt to be buried in you like this. “M’gonna come.” He panted.
“Come inside of me.” You slurred and he moaned at the mere idea of getting to flood your hot, little pussy with his sperm. He got goosebumps as he thought about how good it would feel to have you take it all. To pull out and see it dripping from your swollen and wrecked little hole only for him to push his cock back into you and get his load back into you. “Please, come in my pussy.”
“Fuck, baby…” he chuckled as he pressed his forehead to yours, “I’m gonna come so hard.” He panted, “Gonna drown your little pussy.” He mumbled as his abs started to clench and his toes to curl. And moments later he was grunting through three hard and pointed thrusts before stilling. He pressed right up against you and moaned deeply in satisfaction as he came undone. He felt his muscles spasming, struggling to hold his weight as he started to gush inside of you. You could feel the dramatic twitches of his cock lodged up deep inside of you as he filled you up, just as he promised and it was so good, his hips were moving by his own accord at this point and he was enslaved to the feeling of being inside of you, no matter how sensitive it was starting to feel for him. “Fuck…” he panted lowly.
You could feel his arms trembling and just hugged him tight, encouraging him to drop his weight over you and he did easily. Your fingers danced and tickled over the heated and slightly damp skin of his back as he came down from it. You were finding comfort in his deep inhales as he continued trying to catch his breath. After a few more moments of this he was still completely silent. You knew there was nothing wrong because he was practically melted against your body, and you smiled and kissed the top of his head as he started to sponged a few sloppy kisses along your jaw. With the little strength he had built up again, he pulled you both onto your sides. He slipped from you with the change in position but you draped your leg over his hip and his hand immediately ran up your leg soothingly while he rested his head over his other arm. You were smiling as you just watched him, he still had his eyes closed as he regulated his breathing.
“You alright there?” You inquired, your voice was a whisper but he could hear the slight hint of smugness in it.
“Just a little light headed.” He chuckled his confession and you giggled and reached for his face. You caressed the side of his face lovingly with the backs of your fingers.
“Want me t’get you some water?” You asked.
“No, stay here with me.” He responded and you smiled.
“‘Kay.” You whispered. You just watched him for a few seconds until he slowly blinked his eyes open. You smiled as he squinted a bit.
“Jesus, I’m seeing spots.” He laughed lowly through his admission and you started to giggle along with him. “Don’t laugh at me.” He griped and you leaned forward and smooched over his pouted lips.
“M’not. I’m laughing with you.” You mumbled against his mouth and he quickly kissed your lips back.
“Sure…” he hummed and finally opened his eyes and met your adoring gaze.
“We’re going again later, right?” You asked and he laughed for a moment before kissing you again and nodding.
“Oh absolutely. I might not be able to walk but it’ll be worth it.” He mumbled into your kiss-swollen lips.
“God…but good.” You giggled, completely satisfied with his response.
“I don’t think I’ll ever get enough of you.” He whispered and you glanced away bashfully and instead focused on the swallow tattooed over his left pectoral.
“Neither do I.” You admitted and he smiled as you leaned closer and buried your face into the crook of his neck and took a deep inhale before placing a kiss at the base of his throat.
There was only one thought at the forefront of his mind right now and it was that there was absolutely no world in which this didn’t end with him falling absolutely and hopelessly in love with you. He loved everything about you and what he’d seen of your life so far, he couldn’t wait to experience it for the rest of the days he’d be here with you.
Several Days Later…
You didn’t want to verbalize just how perfect the last several days had been with Harry in case you were to jinx it, but you were certainly thinking about it with each passing minute. You had clients that day so you had to leave Harry at your place for but it was so lovely to return to a clean home and a meal. As soon as you walked in you could smell the lingering fresh scent of cleaning products but were mostly overpowered by what you were kind of hoping was a bolognese sauce. Thankfully, you were able to make off from your last client with a little extra dessert, so you had something to contribute for tonight.
“Smell’s amazing!” You announced your arrival as you slipped out of your shoes.
Harry didn’t respond so you figured he was in the shower or something. And as you walked further in you saw that the table was set and two long stick candles were lit, giving the setting a more intimate feel. You bit your lip to hold back your excitement. It was your last night together, so you weren’t surprised that Harry was pulling out all the stops until the next time you got to be together. You headed towards your bedroom to change into a fresh and more comfortable outfit and when you stepped inside you saw Harry just standing at the window and glancing out towards the busy street below.
“Harry?” You called in question and he sniffled and turned around.
“Sorry, I was trying to collect myself-”
“What happened? What’s wrong?” You asked quickly as you let your purse drop to the floor and rushed over to him.
“Your mom called,” he said and you immediately though the worst, your heart dropped, “Julie told them that she’s pregnant.” He said and you stopped right before you reached him. Not as terrifying as you thought but still incredibly fucking awful. Your features furrowed in disappointment and your stomach turned as the information processed. Harry hurried over to you, “Baby, it’s not me. It couldn’t be, we haven’t slept together since like August!” He explained and you nodded and let him take your hands. “But they don’t know that.”
“Ask for a paternity test.” You said right away.
“I will.” He assured you. “I guess she said she wasn’t feeling well so your mom drove her to the urgent care and they found out. Your mom called me all excited about it… I just don’t want to humiliate her.” He explained.
“And that’s very noble and considerate of you, Harry. But you do realize that she’s trying to put you in an impossible position.” You said and he frowned. “You deserve to do this. To have a family on your own terms, Harry.” You said and he nodded.
“I-I don’t even know what to do about this.” He stammered, still in shock.
“This is going to sound awful but…tell your lawyer.” You said and he sighed. “She’s willing to force you into this situation when you had nothing to do with it. If she has to prove paternity she will have to be honest. She loves Joey and she did this with him, they need to figure this out together.”
“You’re right.” He conceded. “Ummm… I’m not feeling too hungry any more. I’m sorry.” He said and glanced down at the floor.
“That’s alright. I understand.” You assured him. “I also understand if you…need some space.” You said and he glanced into your eyes again.
“Yeah… I ummm…I should go.” He said and you nodded, “They’re expecting me to look after her since she isn’t feeling well. And the drive’ll help, I think.” He muttered, but he was quite absent.
“Okay.” You said softly and he just walked around you and into your closet to grab his suitcase. You just watched silently as he robotically and haphazardly just dumped his things into the luggage before shutting it and wheeling it out. You followed after him as he headed to the entrance and slipped into his sneakers.
“Harry.” You said and he glanced up at you. You could see his eyes welled up with tears. “Please be safe.” You said and he nodded before rushing out. As soon as the door shut your own tears started to trickle down your face.
You were relieved when he texted you that he’d gotten home and assured him that if he needed to talk at all that you’d be there for him. But you felt so angry at your sister for this one. How could she do this to him? It was awful and selfish behavior. You wanted to call her but this wasn’t your battle to fight.
Harry’s POV:
Harry felt completely blindsided by Isabel’s phone call about Julie. He felt sick to his stomach as he parked in the garage because Isabel was still at their house, her car was up front and he had no idea how he would swallow down all that devastation and dread he was feeling. He didn’t want to ruin Isabel’s excitement but pretending that he was happy about this…having to hold and kiss Julie, congratulate her for something he had nothing to do with, it made him sick to his stomach. He texted you to let you know that he’d made it safely and you immediately loved his message and with that he made it inside.
“Oh good! You’re home!” Isabel greeted him excitedly as soon as Harry made it inside from the garage. He put on a smile and nodded, approaching her to greet her.
“Yeah, sorry it took me a while. I was out in LA.” He explained.
“No problem, as long as you made it safe!” She said as she opened her arms and he ducked down a bit to hug her and kiss her cheek. “Congrats, mijo.” She hummed happily as she gave him a firm squeeze.
“Thank you.” He responded as they pulled away slowly.
“I’m just making her some ginger tea, she’s been very nauseous.” Isabel explained.
“Thank you, I’m gonna go see her now.”
“Yes, please!” She insisted, beaming from ear to ear and he smiled and made his way out of the kitchen.
Every step he took up towards the bedroom made him even more sick to his stomach. He hoped there was extra of that ginger tea because this was getting to be too much. When he made it to the top landing he saw the bedroom door open and he made his way over to see Julie scrolling through her phone.
“Hey.” She greeted him solemnly.
“Hi.” He said quite cooly.
“Look-”
“What the fuck is the matter with you?” He cut her off and she frowned.
“Not while my mom is here, Harry.” She sighed.
“No. We’re doing this right now.” He insisted as he pushed the door back leaving it slightly ajar.
“Then close it all the way.” She said.
“Then we won’t hear her coming. I won’t raise my voice if you don’t.” He said and she sighed. “There is no way you didn’t know.” He insisted, “When did you find out?”
“On Monday.” She said, “I missed my period last week and I took two tests on Monday. One positive and the other inconclusive. Sometimes it can be stress or other things that impact so I figured I should go and find out.”
“And you had to take your mom to do that?”
“I was scared!” She defended herself.
“Then you should’ve asked Joe.” He retorted.
“I didn’t want him to freak out!”
“But you’re okay with your mom thinking that I got you pregnant?!” He asked angrily and her eyes started welling up. “You have to tell your parents now, Julie.” He said.
“Harry, please-”
“No! I’m not going to take responsibility for this!”
“And what if he leaves me?” She asked and Harry’s eyes softened for a moment.
“I-I don’t know but you have been cheating on me for months! We haven’t slept together since last year! This has nothing to do with me, Julie!” He was trying not to raise his voice but he was so hurt and angry at her. “You don’t love me and I know for a fact you don’t want this with me.” Harry finished and she started to sniffle as her tears fell. “You have to tell your family the truth!” He urged.
“Do you know how humiliating that will be!?”
“If you had agreed to the divorce when I brought it up not as much as it might be now! If you don’t come clean to your parents about this I will involve my lawyer and demand a paternity test! And we both know what the result will be.”
“I need more time.” She said softly.
“You have until the end of the month.”
“Harry-”
“You tell them or I do.” He said sternly.
Isabel’s POV:
She hadn’t meant to eaves drop, she just wanted to come ask Julie if she would want some toast with her tea to settle her stomach when she heard the hushed argument.
“Harry, please-”
“No! I’m not going to take responsibility for this!” She heard Harry respond. She almost intervened when she heard this, feeling so much anger rising up in her at the sound of her son-in-law being so disinterested and cold after finding out he would be a father!
“And what if he leaves me?” Julie asked and she stopped from reaching for the door. She was momentarily frozen in shock as she processed Julie’s concern.
“I-I don’t know but you have been cheating on me for months! We haven’t slept together since last year! This has nothing to do with me, Julie!”
Isabel could hear it in his voice that he felt bad but if this was not his child, he truly had no obligation to her. Especially if she had been having an affair for who knows how long.
“You don’t love me and I know for a fact you don’t want this with me.” Harry added. “You have to tell your family the truth!”
“Do you know how humiliating that will be!?” Julie cried quietly and Isabel frowned and started to back away, hearing faintly about previous discussions of a divorce. This was very private and she had heard more than she probably should have.
She was completely taken by surprise and immediately felt so bad for Harry and the situation that she had unintentionally put him in. She could only imagine how devastated he felt knowing that his wife was pregnant with another man’s child. A man that might not even stick around to help her or support her with this. Obviously she would always love her daughter, but it didn’t mean that she would always support her choices and this choice…to have an extramarital affair. To not grant Harry the divorce he had seemingly asked for before when she didn’t even love him anymore. The gall to ask him to stick around if the other man didn’t… it did not sit well with her and made her feel so frustrated at her. She hoped that Julie would say something soon because there was no way she could keep quiet for too long. Harry had been so good to all of them and he did not deserve that.
FINAL PART...
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Nevermore Theory
Alright, I’m finally going to go out and post my own Nevermore theory, now that the comic has returned. A lot of the things I wanna talk about are already pretty popular subjects of theory in the fandom (“Who killed Annabel Lee?”), but I wanna tackle a few points I rarely see addressed.
I am going to put all of this under the general thesis of: “The deans don’t lie, but they deliberately mislead.”
Unscientifically speaking, every time the deans come out and tell us something, my bullshit senses go off big time! I want to focus on two main claims they have made, that influence how we view the story in a major way: Who killed Annabel Lee and What’s up with the new life?
1. Who killed Annabel Lee?
I feel it necessary to type out the exact wording the deans use, because it is often misread or misremembered. Don’t worry, that is by design!
“Betrayed by the one who loved you above all else.”
“Who loved YOU” and not “Who YOU loved”. I think that distinction is very important and easily missed. Especially since the expressed purpose of the deans in that scene is to drive a wedge in Annabel and Lenore’s relationship. Now, you could easily argue, that this still points to Lenore. The two of them are the No. 1 relationship to root for after all. But this is where the second part of the statement comes in: “above all else”. In my opinion, Lenore has already demonstrated that she can and will put other things above Annabel Lee (divorce arc anyone?). I don’t doubt, that Lenore and Annabel were a lot closer when they were still alive, but I also don’t doubt that this is one of Lenore’s core personality traits. The other thing I want to point out is, that you don’t have control about “who loves you the most.” You would hope it is your significant other, or maybe a good friend or even a parent. But you can’t really know that. Which brings me to another part of this theory: “Well, who did it then?”
Short answer, I don’t know, but I have a hunch.
First off, I kind of dismissed her father as a suspect by personal preference. We don’t have a lot to go off here, but I think he is too dismissive of her to fit the description. I’m particularly thinking about the scene where he gushed to “Leo” about boats, rather than playing wingman for his daughter.
My main suspect is instead Annabel’s nameless suitor. We don’t know much about him, other than he has already challenged Annabel multiple times (showing dedication). She says: “I’ve defeated the poor fellow a dozen times now, but he is terribly persistent.” Her father has promised him, that at the end of the season he can marry Annabel if she hasn’t found a husband by then. I can imagine how angry he might be, if that plan doesn’t shake out and she gets engaged to another man, right before he finally gets his wish.
Coming back to the deans, I think we can find that they very deliberately chose their words to lead to a false conclusion. Annabel might know who she loves above all else, but she can’t know who would love her in that way. She is left to make assumptions and we along with her. The words “love” and “betrayal” point to someone close to her, and since she died on her wedding day we are lead to a most likely suspect. That’s how we skip over the precise details of the claim. And the deans have never even uttered a lie.
2. What about the new life?
“If you survive these exams you’ll get a chance at a new life.”
That’s the first claim we get from the deans about the prize waiting at the end of nevermore academy. And it is frustratingly vague. Luckily, we already know the first trick they pulled with that one, so we can take that as a guide to analyse it further. This short little claim lets you read almost anything you want into it. It doesn’t specify how many students are allowed to claim the price or, even more importantly, how tose exams will be designed. By leaving out information the automatic assumption is: “Everyone who passes the exams, gets a chance at a new life.” However if these exams ever are designed to only allow a single winner, then only one person would be able to clear the win condition. Nobody would think about any of this, when presented with such an opportunity. It’s why all hell breaks loose when they finally reveal the reward will only be granted to one student. Speaking of which, their wording changes a bit in that reveal.
“…and to the one lucky student amongst you who will be born again.”
Born again is new. It implies at least to some degree a fresh start. Not simply a continuation from where you left off. But that’s another problem. We do not know a single thing about what that new life entails. The students are too caught up in the urgency of the whole situation. They are dead. The deans are offering a way to return. That is all that matters. We hear what we want to hear. I think if we were to ask every student, every one would want something different out of the new life. I doubt Pluto would like to return to how things were.
What the new life looks like is impossible to say, and it is once more designed that way. I still would like to theorise. My personal pet theory is, that you return to the world of the living as a spectre. This is why the deans push students to manifest train their powers. Students with strong spectres are shown favouritisms and exams are designed to eliminate students who haven’t manifested. If you were to return to the world of the living as a human, what good would your spectres do you?
Im conclusion, the deans use our own assumptions against us, by being deliberately vague on important subjects. At the same time, they have yet to outright lie about something. They simply don’t tell you things. To me, that means double checking everything they say. It is kind of like uttering a wish to a djinn or dealing with fae. Be really mindful of the wording and how it may be used against you.
Thanks for reading this far and please let me know if I have missed something, especially if it debunks some of my claims. I am happy to hear your thoughts :)
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Home Grown 1
Warnings: non/dubcon, stalking, and other dark elements. My username actually says you never asked for any of this.
My warnings are not exhaustive but be aware this is a dark fic and may include potentially triggering topics. Please use your common sense when consuming content. I am not responsible for your decisions.
Characters: Cole Turner
This AU is called Watcher Anonymous and will include different series for different characters. This is our introduction to Cole and Eartha.
Summary: loneliness can drive one to desperate measures.
As usual, I would appreciate any and all feedback. I’m happy to once more go on this adventure with all of you! Thank you in advance for your comments and for reblogging ❤️
Cole is tired. He's never really not. He spends all day on his feet, cleaning up some clog in the drains or fending off the pests in the fields. There's not much going on aside from the constant battle with the earth for his livelihood. His family's too.
Ever since his dad had a stroke, it's been on him to balance it all. His sister if off who knows where with who knows his name and his mom is looking after his dad. So it's all up to him to keep this place going. And it's all on her to keep him going.
The shame used to make him squirm. His skin would burn and his blood would boil. He'd close his laptop and mope, feeling bad for himself, calling himself weak. Then he'd open it back up and keep doing it. His persistence became indifference, Not to her. No, he only ever thinks of her. He just doesn't care if it's wrong because it makes him feel right.
That night, he's addled. His dad isn't doing well, his mom is worried despite efforts to hide that, and he can't get an answer from his sister. She said she'd come see them so he could spend more time working. Not that he really wants to.
He slips his phone into the little plastic pocket to protect it from the water. He balances it on the rack that hangs around the showerhead and he cranks the faucet to a steaming spray. He stands under it as he lets it wash away the tension and waits for the stream to buffer. It's taking a bit today but sometimes it happens. Out here in the farm lands, reception is spotty.
It's not working. He's lathered up by the time the error shows. Disconnected... Strange. Why?
He gives up with a sigh. The one thing he has to look forward to and even that isn't going his way. He'll give Jensen a call when he's done.
He rubs dry his hair as the water drips down his legs onto the mat. He looks down at himself then moves to face his reflection in the mirror. He's not an ugly guy. He's not being a narcissist, he just doesn't think he's that bad. He shouldn't be alone. Still.
He huffs and wraps the towel around his waist. He grabs his phone from the show and closes the curtain. He walks down the hall and locks himself in his room. His bars are full. He shouldn't be having issues with a signal.
He dials out and waits for Jensen to pick up. He does right as Cole expects to go to voicemail. He's whisper.
"Hey, dude," Jensen scuffs around.
"Busy?" Cole asks.
"Eh, sorta, just..." he clears his throat. "All clear now, bud. What's up?"
"Mm, well... you remember... that... feed. So, er, it's not working."
"Hm, and it's just on her laptop?"
"Yeah," Cole sits on the bed and chews his thumb. "All of a sudden."
"Did the error have a code?"
"Uhhh yeah, I think," he recalls the numbers as best he can.
"Device is either off or broken. Could be both. You could give it a few days and see," Jensen suggests.
"Sure, but, er..." A few days is a long time especially when they're so slow. "Yeah, you're right. I'll wait her out."
"Dude, trust me, I get it. Boss went out of town last week and I saw her pack her favourite toy," he purrs grossly. "Anyway, it's about that time for me."
The line clicks. Good. Jake kinda weirds him out sometimes. He drops his phone.
He'll be cool about this. He can handle a few days without watching her. I mean, she's a stranger. They've never even met. She doesn't even know he exists. So he can log off and touch grass, so they say.
~
The days pass in a torturous slog of dirt, pollen, and lonely nights. Cole is wound tight, ready to snap as he has a thousand things pulling at him at once. His mom wants to hire a nurse, his dad is getting aggressive with everyone, and his sister just convinced his mom to send her money they don't have. Worst of all, he's alone. He's not sleeping because all he does is dream of her.
As he cuts away the rot from the tomato vine, he catches the tip of his glove, just enough to pinch himself good. He curses as a flash of rage swells in him. He whips the clippers into the dirt and snarls. Goddamn it!
He paces back and forth angrily. He rips off the gloves and tucks them into his workbelt. He combs his fingers through his hair and prowls like a wild beast. He can't take it anymore.
He takes his phone out and calls Jensen. It takes two tries but he gets an answer. Not a happy one.
"Dude, I had to leave a meeting--"
"Feed's down," Cole interrupts. "I'm having a real bad day and I need--- I need it."
"Jesus, you sound like it. Hm, okay, you know her email?"
"Uh, sure I do," Cole says.
"Right, you know everything," Jensen laughs. "Come on, guy, let's not pretend here. We're all a bit freaky. So, I'll send you something. Don't click on the link, got me? You take that template and forward it to her. I'll include instructions so you can dupe the sender... she'll think it's some bullshit coupon redemption or whatever. She clicks on it, you got full access again."
"Really? That easy?"
"Well it all depends on her, doesn't it?" He snorts. "Alright, I'll get that too you when I can. Gotta go."
The call ends. Cole leans against the fence and sighs. He better follow through. Better yet, it better work.
#cole turner#dark cole turner#dark!cole turner#cole turner x reader#ghosted#home grown#series#watchers anonymous#drabble
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I kept getting nervous about how the GA would react to a byler endgame. Would they see it coming or would they think it’s out of nowhere or would they grow to root for it and I recently realized after looking at some comments that people mostly just want an answer that makes more sense than the one they are currently getting.
People just want something they can fully believe in without any questions. They are TOLD that Mike loves/wants El but they don’t see it and they’re getting tired of it or some people still find them cute together they just want Mike to fix his bad behavior so El isn’t upset. I think that a Byler endgame would show to those people that yes Mike can be lovely and attentive and romantic and be a good boyfriend—just not with El. Once people see that emotion and love from Mike, that they so desperately needed to see from him when he was with El, directed towards Will I think it will just click in their heads like, “OH! That’s why he was acting weird and defensive”. Once they see that El isn’t hurting without Mike and that she doesn’t blame him and that they do love each other just not in that way I think people will feel satisfied with the outcome or at least be like “Damn, I did not see that coming but it makes so much sense now that I see it”. I feel like Mike and Will are going to be so undeniably in love that even if people are on the fence about it they will still be more on board with it than M*elven because they will finally be able to see that love and desire they needed to see to believe in a relationship. They’ll be able to see how natural and genuine they are and that they just fit so well together as a couple. I feel like it’ll almost feel like an obvious progression to some people like they were always supposed to end up together because Mike’s feelings for Will aren’t brand new they are constant and are consistently getting stronger and stronger every season. Their relationship only feels weird or off when they hold back on those feelings out of obvious fear. Once Mike makes his feelings more outwardly known to the audience and they can finally be more open and honest with each other I think I’ll just feel like the right path for their characters. The only path that truly makes sense. Hopefully people will finally be able to sympathize with Mike and understand how much he was struggling and grow to love him again. I can definitely see the GA rooting for them throughout s5 in a —I-saw-absolutely-nothing-to-suggest-a-Mike-and-Will-pairing-from-prior-seasons-but-I’m-so-down-for-this-because-Mike-actually-seems-in-love-this-time-and-like-himself-again-and-Will-is-finally-happy—kind of way. Hopefully we get a good Mike and El friendship scene so people can see that they do need/love each other that it just got too complicated when they tried to make their platonic feelings romantic.
Then people can go back and watch the series again to find all of the clues and see that Mike’s focus has always been Will. Obviously everything will be easier to catch watching it all over again because they have the answers now. They’ll be able to compare Mike with El vs Mike with Will and see how it really was right under their noses the whole time.
Yeah, the only ones mad about it are gonna be melvins and homophobic people, I don't think Mike knows what he feels or that he was exactly conscious about it, I think he always felt weird/different about Will but didn't get it yet... and I don't think Mike has lied about anything, I think he had a crush on El when he was little and whatever "wrong" he did is mainly because he's 14... but I also think they have been building up to Byler since s1 through their friendship, it's easy to write it in the show as endgame because they have a solid base and Will is already in love with Mike! ❤️
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Misunderstood | B Faber
summary: you guys haven’t made it official and it comes back to bite brock when he is pictured out at dinner with a friend.
-
The cold Minnesota air nipped at your skin as you wrapped yourself tighter in your blanket, sitting on your couch with a cup of coffee in hand. The warmth of your apartment contrasted the harsh chill outside, the streets dusted in fresh snow. The quiet morning should have been comforting, but instead, you found yourself scrolling aimlessly through Instagram, the flickering glow of your phone screen somehow amplifying the restlessness gnawing at your mind.
Then, you saw it.
Your thumb froze on the screen as you stared at the image before you. Brock. Your boyfriend—or at least, that’s what you thought he was.
He stood at a table, smiling like he always did, the one you adored and couldn’t get enough of. But this time, it wasn’t just his grin that caught your attention. Standing next to him was a woman—blonde, beautiful, and clearly too comfortable with him. She had her hand resting on his arm, a look of fondness that made your stomach twist. The caption read: “Dinner date with my favorite guy.”
The words blurred in your vision as you stared at the picture, trying to make sense of it. You blinked, trying to calm the rising panic inside you. Your fingers swiped quickly to refresh the feed, hoping this was some kind of mistake, some social media glitch. But no, there were more photos—more pictures of Brock and this girl, the two of them enjoying dinners, laughing at something only they seemed to understand, posing close in a way you hadn’t even been able to get Brock to do with you.
And suddenly, all the confidence you had in the relationship seemed to disappear. Why hadn’t he told you about her? You scrolled through the rest of the posts, each one more intimate than the last. It hit you in waves—the jealousy, the confusion, the bitter taste of betrayal. You had always kept things casual with Brock, no pressure, no expectations. But these pictures… They didn’t look casual. Did he think you were just another option?
A pang of hurt ran through you. Had you been nothing more than a placeholder while he figured out what he really wanted?
You set your phone down, hands shaking slightly. You tried to calm yourself. It could be nothing, right? But then the doubts crept in, taking over your thoughts like an uncontrollable storm. Maybe this wasn’t a casual thing for him after all. Maybe he was just too scared to tell you. You were only ever a backup plan, an afterthought. That’s how it felt. You had no idea where you stood in his life, and that was the worst feeling of all.
The next few days were nothing short of torturous.
You couldn’t bring yourself to respond to his texts. He’d sent a few asking how you were, if you were okay, but each time you read his messages, all you could feel was the knot of jealousy and confusion tightening in your chest. You told yourself it wasn’t a big deal, that you had no right to be angry. You had never set any official boundaries, and he had never made any promises to you.
But it didn’t stop the gnawing feeling inside.
When he called you on the second night of the silence, you debated not answering. But you couldn’t bring yourself to let it ring out. “Hello?” you said, your voice more clipped than you intended.
“Hey, it’s me. You’ve been quiet. Is everything okay?” Brock’s voice came through the phone, sounding concerned but also confused.
You squeezed your eyes shut, the tears you’d been holding back threatening to spill. “Yeah, everything’s fine.” You could feel your chest tightening as the words felt like lies in your mouth.
“Are you sure? You’ve been distant. I just want to know if something’s wrong.”
The frustration hit you suddenly, and it slipped out before you could stop it. “What, you want me to just pretend everything’s fine? Pretend like I don’t see all those photos of you and her?” The words were out before you could catch them, and the silence that followed was deafening.
“Wait, what?” Brock’s voice cracked slightly “What are you talking about?”
“Don’t act like you don’t know,” you spat. “I’ve seen it, Brock. All the pictures. All the dates. Why didn’t you tell me about her?” Your voice trembled now, the anger laced with hurt.
There was a long pause, and you could almost hear him processing what you were saying. Then, a sigh. “Listen, I didn’t think it was a big deal. She’s just a friend. She’s one of my teammate’s sisters. We’ve hung out a few times with the team, but there’s nothing going on. I swear.”
But the doubt lingered in your mind. “You didn’t think it was a big deal? You didn’t think it was a big deal to mention that you were hanging out with another girl? That’s what you’re telling me?” You could feel your heartbeat pounding in your ears now. The more he explained, the more it sounded like an excuse. And the more it hurt.
“I didn’t think it would bother you” Brock added quietly. “I thought we were just…having fun, you know? I didn’t think it would cause any issues.”
“Well, it’s causing issues now,” you snapped, cutting the conversation short. “I don’t know what you want me to say, Brock. I just need space.”
And with that, you hung up, not giving him the chance to say anything more. The silence after you ended the call was suffocating. You hated that you had let your emotions spiral like this, but the damage felt done. Your heart was heavy with bitterness, and no amount of reasoning could make it feel right again.
Days passed, and the tension only grew. Brock tried to reach out—texts, calls—but you ignored them all. You felt justified in your anger, but the truth was, the silence was killing you both. Each time you saw his name pop up on your phone, your heart wavered, but you couldn’t bring yourself to open the messages. You had decided that if he cared, he’d come to you. He’d fix this.
But it didn’t happen. Not the way you expected, at least.
Instead, you found yourself standing in your apartment on the fourth day, staring at the door as if it might be a dream.
The sound of soft knocks broke through your thoughts. You slowly opened the door, almost dreading what you might find on the other side. But when you looked up, it was Brock—holding a bouquet of wildflowers, his face a mix of anxiety and determination.
You stared at him for a moment before the anger bubbled up again. “What are you doing here?” you asked, trying to hide the pain in your voice.
“Can we talk?” His voice was quiet, almost pleading. “I know I messed up. I should’ve told you about her, but I never meant for any of this to happen. I care about you. I don’t want this to end because of a misunderstanding.”
Your breath hitched, emotions swirling inside you like a tornado. “You should’ve told me” you whispered, the hurt creeping into your voice. “I saw those pictures, Brock. I felt like you were hiding something from me. And I—” You broke off, looking away, your face flushing with embarrassment.
“I didn’t want to hurt you,” Brock said, stepping closer, his voice full of regret “I never wanted to make you feel like you weren’t important to me. She’s just a friend—nothing more. You mean everything to me.”
You shook your head, trying to hold back the tears. “I shouldn’t have ignored you. I should’ve trusted you, but I didn’t know where I stood.”
Brock reached out for you, taking your hands gently in his. “I should’ve explained sooner. I’m sorry. I don’t want you to feel second to anyone, especially not because of some misunderstanding.”
His apology, the sincerity in his eyes, hit you harder than you expected. Your walls started to crumble, and with them, the weight that had been pressing on your chest.
“I’m sorry, too,” you said softly, your voice barely above a whisper. “I just… I didn’t know how to deal with it.”
Brock’s smile was hesitant but warm. He pulled you into an embrace, holding you tight. “Let’s promise no more misunderstandings, okay? I want this,us,to be real.”
You nodded, feeling the tension dissolve. “No more misunderstandings,” you repeated.
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I read your posts about Lan Xichen and Lan Wangji, and I want to ask:
We know that Lan Xichen does care for Lan Wangji (in his own weird way), but does he respect Lan Wangji as a person?
When he blamed Wei Wuxian for "playing his brother's feelings", not going to lie, but why does he make it sound like Lan Wangji is a child who can't do anything about it? And when he blamed Wei Wuxian for Lan Wangji’s punishment, idk but in my eyes, that meant he never respected Lan Wangji’s decision to protect Wei Wuxian.
Lan Xichen blaming Wei Wuxian for Lan Wangji’s punishment (when Lan Wangji himself made the decision to protect Wei Wuxian) reminds me too much of Jiang Cheng blaming Wei Wuxian for Jiang Yanli's death (when she sacrificed herself to protect Wei Wuxian). It's like taking away their right to make their own decisions.
This really got me thinking about their relationship because what is love without respect?
I think the answer to this is a little bit complicated. I think that Lan Xichen respects Lan Wangji except when it comes to Wei Wuxian, and that is the only exception because it is one of the few places where he cannot understand his brother and, thus, doesn’t know how to process that his brother may be hurt for a cause that would only hurt him except through lashing out at said cause. To be clear, too: the thing he doesn’t understand is not that Lan Wangji would be interested in Wei Wuxian but that Lan Wangji would be so interested that he would “eschew his morals”—as the Lan Clan sees it—for a path that would only lead to pain despite the warning lesson from their own parents’ experience. Lan Wangji accepted a life-threatening punishment just to support Wei Wuxian, a support that Lan Xichen witnesses be rejected, so it makes sense that he would be angry on his brother’s behalf. Still doesn’t mean it was his place to lash out or that he was in any way right in his actions or words.
Unfortunately, I think the biggest issue is that Lan Xichen is being an overprotective big bro in defense of his brother when the actual situation has already revealed that he is the one who’s been cavorting with a snake who is only using him. So it becomes less of an issue about respect and more of an issue of hypocrisy and projection. On the other hand, despite not agreeing with his brother’s support of Wei Wuxian, Lan Xichen still allows Lan Wangji to hide him in the Cloud Recesses to recover and takes both of them into the secret library to search for evidence that his sworn brother was a murderer, all because Lan Wangji was steadfast in his belief of what Wei Wuxian had seen despite not viewing Nie Mingjue’s memories, himself. That is definitely a sign of respect, even if it came with disagreement.
#mdzs asks#anon#you can love someone and also not treat them right#love is not the absence of negative behaviors#and treating it as such actually makes it out to be an impossible and unattainable emotion#you can love someone and disagree with their decisions#you can love someone and still harm them#you can love someone and disrespect them#does love cancel out the negatives? no#but the negatives don’t cancel out the love either#because if the love didn’t exist lxc would not have given lwj a chance at all
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hii I love ur works smmm!!! can I request mingyu dad au and their child asking for another sibling??
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Notes: oh my god she’s back with another fic enjoy guys I know it’s not the best but I’m slowly easing back into it <3
°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:・°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:・°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:・°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:・°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:・°❀⋆.
You and Mingyu were sitting together on the couch, enjoying a quiet evening at home when your child walked into the room, looking up at you with an innocent expression on their face.
"Mommy, Daddy?" they asked, his voice soft. Mingyu looked down at them, a smile on his face. "What is it, sweetheart?"
He looked between the two of you before speaking again. "Can I ask you guys a question?" Mingyu chuckled, ruffling the child's hair affectionately. "Of course you can, buddy. What's on your mind?" He hesitated for a moment, looking down at the floor before looking back up at you and Mingyu. "Why don't I have any brothers or sisters?" You and Mingyu exchanged a look, surprised by the question. Mingyu cleared his throat, unsure of how to answer.
"Well, sweetheart," he began, "having a baby is a big responsibility. It takes a lot of time and effort to take care of a baby, and it's not always easy." He nodded, looking up at you with wide eyes. "But I'm a good kid, right? And I would be a good brother, wouldn't I?" Mingyu smiled, touched by his words. "Of course you would, buddy. You're the best kid we could ever ask for. But having a baby is more than just being a good kid. It's about being able to share love and attention with another person." You and Mingyu looked at each other again, a silent conversation passing between you. His request was unexpected, but his words made sense.
"We'll think about it, okay?" you said to him, ruffling their hair like Mingyu had done earlier. "But it's not something we can just decide on a whim. It's a big decision that needs to be thought through carefully." He nodded again, accepting your answer. "Okay," he said, a hint of disappointment in his voice. "Goodnight, Mommy. Goodnight, Daddy."
"Goodnight, sweetheart," you and Mingyu chorused, watching as he left the room. Once he was gone, you turned to Mingyu, a thoughtful expression on your face. "Do you think we should actually consider it?" you asked him. Mingyu sighed, running a hand through his hair. "I don't know," he admitted. "I mean, it's definitely something we need to think about. But we already have so much going on with our work and taking care of our child. Another baby would mean even more responsibility."
You nodded, understanding his concerns. "I know what you mean. But at the same time, I can't help but feel a little guilty.He seems so excited about the idea of having a sibling. Maybe we've been holding off on having more kids for too long." Mingyu looked at you, his expression serious but smirking at the same time. "You're right. We've been so focused on our careers and our own lives that we've kind of neglected the idea of having more kids. Maybe it's time we started thinking about it seriously." You raised an eyebrow at Mingyu's smirk. "What are you thinking?" you asked him, a hint of amusement in your voice.
Mingyu leaned in closer to you, his smirk widening. "I'm thinking that maybe we could have some fun trying to make that decision," he whispered, his breath hot against your ear. You felt a shiver run down your spine as his words sent a jolt of excitement through you. "Oh, really?" you replied, trying to keep your voice steady. "And how do you propose we do that?" Mingyu's smirk turned into a mischievous grin as he leaned in even closer, his lips brushing against your ear. "Well, we could start by practicing some...unprotected fun," he whispered, his hand sliding up your thigh.
You let out a soft gasp as his hand continued to move higher, your body already responding to his touch. "Mingyu, we're supposed to be thinking about having another baby, not making one right now," you protested weakly. Mingyu chuckled as he continued to kiss your neck, his lips moving slowly and sensually along your skin. "I know, I know," he murmured between kisses. "But can you blame me for wanting you so badly right now?" You shook your head, giving in to the pleasure that his kisses were causing. "No, I suppose I can't," you admitted, tilting your head to give him better access to your neck.
Mingyu lifted you up into his arms, carrying you to the bedroom with ease. He kicked the door shut behind him and gently placed you on the bed, his eyes dark with desire. As you lay on the bed, Mingyu climbed on top of you, his body pressing against yours. He began to kiss you hungrily, his tongue exploring your mouth as his hands roamed over your body. You responded to his kisses with equal fervor, your arms wrapping around his neck as you pulled him closer. The heat between you was building quickly, and you could feel yourself getting lost in the moment.
Mingyu's hands were impatient as he tore at your clothes, his own shirt quickly joining the pile on the floor. His body was taut and muscular, and you couldn't help but run your hands over his chest and abs. He paused for a moment, his eyes roaming over your exposed skin. "You're so beautiful," he whispered, his voice husky with desire. "I want you so badly." You could feel the heat rising between your legs as his words sent a thrill through you. "I want you too," you murmured, reaching up to pull him down for another kiss.
As he pulled his boxers down, you couldn't help but stare at his impressive size. You felt a wave of anticipation wash over you, your body already eager for what was to come. Mingyu saw the look in your eyes and grinned, knowing exactly what you were thinking. "Someone's eager," he teased, his hands moving down to your hips. "I love it when you look at me like that." You let out a soft moan as he positioned himself, the anticipation almost too much to bear. You could feel his hardness against your entrance, and you couldn't wait for him to enter you.
"Ready?" he asked, his voice a low growl in your ear. You nodded, unable to form words, and he slowly began to push himself inside of you. As he filled you, you gasped and clutched at his back, your nails digging into his skin. The sensation was intense, but it felt so good. You could feel yourself adjusting to his size, your body welcoming him in.
Once he was fully inside of you, he paused for a moment, letting you get used to the feeling. "You feel so good," he whispered, his breath hot against your ear. "So tight and perfect." You let out a soft moan in response, your hips bucking up against him involuntarily. "Move," you urged him, your voice barely above a whisper. He began to move, slowly at first, but quickly picking up speed. Each thrust sent waves of pleasure coursing through your body, and you found yourself arching your back, pushing against him. As he moved faster, you could feel yourself getting closer and closer to the edge. Your moans grew louder, and you clutched at him desperately, needing to hold onto something as the pleasure threatened to overwhelm you.
"Shhh, be quiet," he whispered, his voice low and urgent. "We don't want to wake up our boy." He continued to move inside of you, his pace steady but intense. He knew how close you were, and he wanted to draw it out for as long as possible. You bit your lip, trying to stifle your moans as he continued to drive you towards the edge. You could feel the heat building inside of you, and you knew that you were about to explode. Suddenly, you felt yourself tipping over the edge, your body shaking with pleasure as you climaxed. You clutched at him tightly, your fingers digging into his skin as wave after wave of ecstasy washed over you.
"I'm gonna cum," he groaned, his voice strained. "I want you to take it, all of it."
He continued to thrust, his movements becoming more erratic as he approached his own climax. "You're gonna look so beautiful pregnant," he panted. "My baby inside of you..." He suddenly let out a loud moan, his body shuddering as he released himself inside of you. You could feel the warmth spreading through you, and you knew that he was true to his word.
As he finished, he collapsed on top of you, panting heavily. He wrapped his arms around you, holding you close as you both tried to catch your breath. "That was amazing," he whispered, his voice filled with satisfaction. You nodded, still unable to speak. Your body was tingling all over, and you felt like you were floating on air. You could feel his seed still inside of you, and the thought sent a shiver down your spine.
"Our son's got great ideas," he said, his lips brushing against your hair. "We should thank him later."
#kpop fanfic#kpop smut#seventeen fanfic#seventeen smut#seventeen#svt smut#woozinhos#svt reactions#mingyu smut#svt mingyu#seventeen mingyu fluff#seventeen mingyu smut#kim mingyu smut#seventeen mingyu#mingyu seventeen#kim mingyu#mingyu#mingyu svt#svt mingyu smut#mingyu svt smut#mingyu seventeen smut
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Eternally Mine, Chapter 62
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Loki sighed softly. ‘Claire…’
Claire felt like everything was tumbling down, she panicked that Loki would hate her. That he wouldn’t want to be with her anymore, she’d ruined it. Maybe he had something special planned. Or maybe he’d changed his mind, she had no idea how long he’d had the ring for, after all.
Her mind was racing with so many thoughts.
‘I was planning to wait until we got to New Zealand and propose romantically… But I guess this will need to do.’ He chuckled lightly and got down on one knee, taking her hand in his as he gazed lovingly into her eyes.
Claire’s eyes widened and her heart began racing, but for a good reason now. More tears welled up in her eyes as she looked at Loki.
‘Claire, my love. My soulmate. My best friend. My world. I love you more than life itself, I want to be with you for an eternity. Will you be eternally mine, and become my wife?’
Claire burst into tears and started squealing excitedly. ‘Yes! Yes! Yes!’ She jumped on Loki, wrapping her arms around his neck.
Loki laughed in delight as he stood up, taking her with him and spun her around. When he put her back on her feet, he dipped his head down to kiss her softly as he cupped her face in his hands.
‘I love you.’ Claire said over his lips.
‘I love you too… fiancée.’ Loki grinned.
Neither of them noticed all the pairs of eyes watching them from outside the kitchen window, or even Bat peeping around the corner from the living room.
‘I’m so sorry I fucked this up though.’ Claire said as she looked down at her hand.
Loki picked her hand up and kissed the back of it. ‘You didn’t fuck this up. I should have hidden it better.’ Loki said sheepishly.
‘I shouldn’t have been snooping… Though to be fair, the box it was in I stupidly knocked over and everything went flying. I was curious and opened it when I saw the velvet box… I’m really sorry.’ Claire sighed and pressed her face into his chest to hide.
Loki kissed the top of her head and squeezed her tightly. ‘Stop apologising. To be honest, I was struggling with keeping it a secret. I wanted to propose to you for so long now, as soon as I got your father’s permission, I wanted to just do it. Though I figured doing it somewhere romantic, like in New Zealand somewhere nice, would have been what you’d have liked most.’ Loki said honestly.
‘You asked for dad’s permission?’ Claire asked, surprised as she looked up at him.
Loki smiled and brushed his thumb over her cheek. ‘Of course I did. You didn’t actually think I was planning to make a veggie plot, did you?’
Claire’s face lit up like a lightbulb suddenly. ‘Ohhhhhh.’ She giggled. ‘Makes sense now.’
‘So, it’s really stuck, huh?’ Loki asked as he picked her hand up again.
‘Yeah.’ Claire nodded sheepishly.
‘Why is it so slimy?’ Loki frowned.
‘Uh. A concoction of fairy liquid, butter and lube…’
Loki threw his head back with laughter. ‘Oh dear. You guys really tried everything, huh?’
‘Yeah.’ Claire laughed. ‘Bat tried helping at first, it was her idea for the butter and fairy liquid. Then Jessica arrived with lube.’
‘Trust Jessica to have that on her at hand.’ Loki chuckled. ‘I’m sorry I got the sizing wrong. I thought I had taken into account that arthritic finger, but I didn’t want it sliding off easily either when it’s not so swollen.’
‘No, no. You got it right, I mean, my finger isn’t always like this. Plus, if I’m not planning on taking it off much anyway there’s no problem. I just really panicked and wanted it off before you got back, so you wouldn’t know I’d found it and ruined the surprise.’ She said sadly.
Loki growled at her and gripped her chin, forcing her to look at him again. ‘You did not ruin the surprise, so stop that. But love, do you really think you’d have been able to pretend you didn’t find it, hmm? If you did get it off, I don’t think you’d have been able to keep that secret from me.’ Loki said knowingly, raising an eyebrow.
The way her cheeks turned bright red, gave him his answer. That he already knew, anyway.
‘To be honest, I actually think the way this has panned out is more… us, anyway. Don’t you think?’ Loki asked with a grin.
Claire matched his grin and laughed as she hugged into him again. ‘Yeah. I guess it is.’ She said, muffled against his chest.
‘Why don’t we go have a shower, get that ring cleaned up… and make a different kind of mess of our own elsewhere, hmm?’ Loki said suggestively as he wiggled his eyebrows.
Claire giggled and jumped into his arms, he caught her and carried her upstairs. Bat ran to hide, so she wasn’t caught watching their interaction in the kitchen.
-
When Louise ran out the back door, she realised she couldn’t actually leave as there was no access to the back garden without going through the house.
As the street at the back of the garden was a dodgy alley, where lots of dodgy people tended to hang out. Which is why Loki didn’t want a gate leading straight into his garden, whenever he needed anything delivered, he would just remove the fence panels.
So Louise went inside the garden shed and send a text to Chris.
L: Hey. SOS. In Loki’s garden, waiting in the shed. Can you come get me, please? Long story… not an emergency though, don’t worry. Xxx
Not surprisingly, Chris was there within two minutes. He flew down and turned into his vampire form as he landed outside the shed.
‘Louise? Are you ok? Why are you out here?’ Chris asked, completely baffled as Louise stepped out of the shed.
‘I’m fine.’ She giggled. ‘So, uh. Claire messaged saying she had an emergency… turns out that Loki bought a ring and has been planning to propose to her, but she found the ring while he was out. By accident. She was panicking, trying to get it off. He came back though and caught us all in the kitchen trying to help her. So we just… ran. I forgot I can’t get out of the garden though without going through the house.’ Louise said sheepishly.
Chris laughed and pulled her into an embrace.
‘Oh, pumpkin. Trapped in the back garden.’ He chuckled and squeezed her tightly.
‘Yeah. I need a leg up over the fence. And I know that alley can be dodgy, so didn’t fancy going alone.’
‘Wait, you said caught us all, who else was here?’ Chris asked, leaning back a bit to look at her.
‘Jessica, Toshi and Severus.’
‘We’re still here. We wouldn’t just leave Lou alone.’ Came Toshi’s voice.
Chris turned around and chuckled, noticing Severus was chilling in Toshi’s hair. Jessica landed and turned into her vampire form.
‘Wait. So, Loki has just found Claire with the ring stuck on her finger?’ Chris asked.
‘Yeah.’ Louise nodded.
‘Why are we standing around here talking then?’ He asked as he grabbed Louise’s hand and dragged her back towards the house.
The four of them, plus bat Severus, crouched down and crept over to the window, they peeped in only just so they could see, hopefully without being spotted.
They saw Loki go down on one knee and propose, then Claire squealing and jumping before pouncing on Loki.
‘Awwww. So fucking cute.’ Louise cooed and wiped away a happy tear.
‘This is so them.’ Toshi laughed.
‘It sure is.’ Jessica grinned. ‘At least we didn’t have to resort to anything drastic over the ring.’
‘I dunno, getting that lube off of it won’t be fun.’ Louise commented.
‘Wait, what? Lube?’ Chris asked, eyebrows shooting high on his face.
Louise giggled. ‘I’ll fill you in more later.’
‘Do I even want to know?’ He asked.
‘Probably not.’ Toshi laughed.
-
Loki pressed his forehead against Claire’s as they both took a moment to catch their breath. Of course, showering together meant having sex against the wall. Loki had Claire pinned to it, her legs wrapped around him as he gripped her ass to keep her up.
‘Are you a bit frenzied because of the whole engagement thing… or did you end up hunting tonight, too?’ Claire asked knowingly. With the way he was still hard inside of her, and how feral he had been while fucking her against the wall, she had a feeling there was something more.
Loki smirked and kissed her sloppily for a moment before responding.
‘Both.’
‘Hmmm.’ Claire mumbled into his mouth. ‘Care to explain more?’
‘Hunters. Young hunters. They were really easy to take out.’ Loki said a little breathlessly as she clenched around him.
‘Really easy? As in, easier than I’d be if I fought you?’ Claire teased.
Loki scoffed. ‘I could take you down sooooo much easier, my love.’ He purred.
‘Oh yeah? I bet not.’
‘I bet so.’ Loki laughed.
She tried struggling in his grasp at that moment, but he moved a hand up to her side and started tickling her. She immediately caved, and went limp against him as she squirmed a bit from his fingers attacking her side.
‘See? Easy.’ He said cockily.
‘Not fair. You’re mean.’ She laughed as she buried her face into the crook of his neck, moaning a little at the way his cock felt inside her after the movement they just did.
‘But you love it when I’m mean.’ He growled.
She nodded against him and when he felt her cunt flutter around him again, he couldn’t resist anymore and started bouncing her up and down on his cock a few times before pushing her back against the wall and fucking her like a crazed beast.
‘You feel so good around my cock. Wifey.’ He smirked at the glare he got from her, but her eyes were twinkling beautifully with so much happiness and adoration.
‘Don’t get too carried away. Vampy hubby.’ She responded with and giggled, that quickly turned into moans and cries of pleasure.
‘I can never not get carried away with you, love.’
#tom hiddleston#loki#loki x ofc#loki fic#fluffy loki#vampire loki#the redbridge hunts#eternally mine#chris motionless#chris motionless x ofc#vampire chris motionless
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Hi, I first want to say that I absolutely enjoy reading all your analysis! About Mike's monologue, I'm kinda playing the devil's advocate here, the actual line in the script is: "And I knew somehow then -- in that moment -- that I loved you." That's definitely better than "I knew right there and then", this was actually Finn paraphrasing, and yes they chose to keep it, but I don't think we should analyze that line that much when it's not even what the writers initially wrote.
I'm a Byler who believes Mike truly loved El, but this is a story of learning to let go of your first love. And Finn kinda confirmed that to me in his recent answers. It's a first love vs right love story.
Also, another interesting thing I found. The script says "But I am scared…that one day, you'll realize -- you don’t really need me." He says it like it's a fact: El doesn't really need him, that's not even a question. Mike is not scared of the eventuality of El not needing him, he's scared of her realizing that she doesn't. He knows deep down this love isn't right. Just like he said in the initial van scene script: "She's already beginning to understand she doesn't need me. I saw it -- I saw it in her eyes, that last time we talked."
To me, Mike has to learn to let go of his first love, El, in order to let in the right love, Will.
thank you!! :)
i don't rlly see how those lines are any different, the wording and addition of "somehow" doesn't change anything or make it better. it's still a statement, not a hyperbole, and a lie. the "in that moment" is the nail in the coffin. it pin points his realization on that moment specifically, so there is no way around it being untrue. if anything, the "somehow' makes it come off more like mike is acknowledging how outlandish it would be to know he loves her 2 seconds after seeing her for the first time in the woods in a rain storm, but claiming its the truth anyways. removing "somehow" makes it more so that mike is really leaning into it and pushing that its the truth, desperately wanting her to believe him. it would make sense that he wouldn't preface that with acknowledgement of how crazy it is, because he wants to seem assured and confident that its the truth, giving el no reason to doubt him.
i definitely think mike had romantic feelings for el, but i just don't think that ever crossed the line into true romantic love. he definitely grew to love el and appreciate her and care for her, but that was never tied to his romantic feelings for her. his true love for her is just not romantic. their relationship is built off of insecurity and attachment, which is why they stayed together for so long. i just don't think he was ever in love with her, nor was she in love with him. i don't argue with ppl who say it was a first love situation, because thats accurate enough. but i think a better description is puppy love. just like stancy vs jancy. stancy was immature, teenage puppy love built on physicality and a desire to feel normal. jancy was true love, built on natural chemistry, trust, respect, and emotional connection.
i just cant get behind saying mike fell out of love with el, cause i really don't think thats the case. i think they rlly highlight this in s3 with the mlvn breakup and byler fight. mike says el is the "most important thing to him in the world'. but, after she breaks up with him he does nothing. he goofs off with his friends in his basement and complains. he doesn't go after her or try to stop her, he doesn't go to her house to apologize, nothing. he does, however, do all those things when he and will fight and will leaves. i think its clearly implying who is more important to mike, just in the sense that one is true love and one is not. mike can't stand the idea of will being upset with him and potentially losing him because of it, it eats at him and he wants to make things right immediately. meanwhile he doesn't take his breakup wth el seriously at all. there is just no way mike is in love with her in these scenarios. and im sorry, but there's no way you can be in love with someone after knowing them for five days. i really just think he never was, he only thought he was.
and yesssss about the script!! mike states it as fact, like he has not a shadow of a doubt that its true. and we never see el soothe this insecurity of his after she finds out. we don't even see them speak. will is the only one who has ever addressed mikes insecurities and made him feel better. he is the only one who considers mike's feelings and stands up for him (And he doesn't deserve that.)
#byler#stranger things#mike wheeler#will byers#byler analysis#stranger things 4#milkvan is bones#anti milkvan
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Endless Battle Of Love- Modern!Jacaerys Velaryon x Female.
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Prologue, Chapter 1, Chapter 2.
Word Count : 9k
Jacaerys Velaryon Masterlist.
House Of The Dragon Masterlist.
and also big thanks to @zaldritzosrose for let me using yours beautiful dividers 🫶🏻.
You stirred awake, your eyes slowly adjusting to the soft morning light filtering through the curtains. The warmth beside you was familiar, comforting. Jace lay next to you, his breathing even, his face peaceful in sleep. For a long moment, you simply watched him, taking in every detail—the way his dark curls fell messily over his forehead, the faint crease between his brows, the steady rise and fall of his chest.
You had never felt safer than in this moment.
A quiet sigh escaped your lips. If Jace hadn’t been there, if he hadn’t fought for you, you didn’t know what you would have done. The exhaustion of carrying so much pain alone had nearly consumed you. But now… now, there was him.
Jace stirred beside you, his body shifting slightly. Then, as if sensing your gaze, he blinked awake, his dark eyes meeting yours. A slow, sleepy smile stretched across his lips.
“Morning,” he murmured, his voice thick with sleep.
You couldn’t help the soft smile that formed on your own lips. “Morning.”
Jace lifted a hand, brushing a few strands of hair away from your face before he leaned in and pressed a lingering kiss to your forehead. The simple gesture made your chest tighten.
“How long have you been awake?” he asked, his thumb tracing slow circles on your arm.
“Not long,” you admitted. “I was just… watching you.”
Jace let out a low chuckle, his fingers tightening slightly around you. “Creepy,” he teased, but his smile was nothing but fond.
“Shut up,” you muttered, rolling your eyes, but your smile didn’t fade.
Jace’s expression softened as he studied you. “How are you feeling?” he asked gently.
The question made you pause. You weren’t sure how to answer. Were you okay? Not entirely. The memories were still there, the wounds still fresh. But for the first time in a long time, you didn’t feel like you were drowning.
“Better,” you said after a moment. “Because of you.”
Jace’s jaw tightened slightly, his fingers gripping your arm a little more firmly. “You give me too much credit,” he said. “I just—”
“You saved me, Jace.” Your voice was quiet but firm. “I don’t know where I’d be if you weren’t here. I don’t even want to think about it.”
Jace didn’t respond right away. Instead, he just pulled you closer, wrapping his arms around you and pressing his forehead against yours. “You don’t have to think about it,” he murmured. “Because I’m here. And I’m not going anywhere.”*
You let out a shaky breath, closing your eyes as you melted into his embrace. “Promise?”
“I swear it.”
For the first time in a long time, you believed it.
As you and Jace made your way downstairs, the sound of voices echoed through the house. You felt your stomach twist when you recognized them—Aemond and Aegon.
Your steps faltered, and instinctively, you moved behind Jace, gripping the back of his shirt as if it were a lifeline. Not because you were afraid, but because shame clawed at your insides. You knew. You knew they had seen it. The video. The proof of what had been done to you.
How could they look at you the same way now?
Jace, noticing your hesitation, stopped in his tracks. Without missing a beat, he reached behind him, grasping your wrist before gently pulling you forward again, making you stand beside him instead of behind him.
“Don’t do that,” he murmured softly but firmly.
Your throat tightened. “Jace, I—”
“You don’t have to hide,” he interrupted, his grip on your wrist tightening just slightly. “Not from them. Not from me. You did nothing wrong.”*
You swallowed hard, but the lump in your throat remained.
By the time you reached the living room, Rhaenyra was seated gracefully on the couch, her expression unreadable as she observed you both. Aemond stood near the window, arms crossed, his sharp gaze flicking toward you but revealing nothing. Aegon, on the other hand, was sprawled in the chair across from his sister, spinning a silver ring around his finger, his lips set in a firm line.
Silence stretched between all of you for a brief moment before Aegon exhaled loudly and leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. “Well,” he started, tilting his head. “I assume we’re all here for the same reason?”
Jace stiffened slightly beside you. “This isn’t up for discussion.”
“It should be,” Aemond finally spoke, his voice calm yet laced with something unreadable. “This isn’t just about you anymore, Jacaerys.”
Your fingers curled into your palm, your nails pressing against your skin. You hated this. The way they were all here, sitting around as if your trauma were some business deal to negotiate.
“I don’t care what either of you think,” Jace shot back, his voice sharp, protective. “She’s safe now. That’s all that matters.”
“Safe?” Aegon let out a dry chuckle, his blue eyes narrowing slightly. “After what we saw, after what those bastards did? And you think just because they’re dead, it’s over?”
Your breath hitched.
“Aegon, enough,” Rhaenyra’s voice was firm, but Aegon barely reacted, his eyes still on you.
“Look,” he said, his tone softer this time. “I’m not saying this to make you uncomfortable, sweetheart.” He ran a hand through his messy blond hair. “I’m saying it because I know what people are like. And this? This won’t just disappear.”
You swallowed, lowering your gaze. You knew what he meant. The internet was merciless. Even if those men were dead, there was always a chance that the damage they caused would linger, that those video would resurface somewhere.
Jace must have sensed the way your body tensed because he reached for your hand, intertwining his fingers with yours. “I will handle it,” he said, his voice absolute. “No matter what it takes.”
Aemond exhaled through his nose before finally looking at you, his single violet eye sharp, calculating. “Do you want to know how we handled it?”
You hesitated, your voice barely above a whisper. “No.”
Aemond nodded slightly, as if he had expected that answer. “Good.”
“And what about her?” Aegon asked, gesturing toward Rhaenyra. “What did you tell her?”
“Enough,” Jace said simply.
Rhaenyra, who had been silent this entire time, finally sighed and leaned back against the couch, crossing her legs gracefully. “I knew something had happened,” she admitted, her gaze on you now. “I just didn’t know the extent of it until a week aho when i first meet her.”
You felt yourself shrink under her stare.
“And?” Aegon pressed.
“And,” Rhaenyra continued, her expression softening, “she is not to blame for any of it.”
You blinked, your throat tightening.
“She is a victim,” Jace added, his fingers tightening around yours, “and if either of you have a problem with that, you can leave.”
Silence filled the room.
Aemond, for once, was the first to speak. “No one here thinks otherwise.”
Aegon sighed, rubbing a hand down his face. “Yeah, yeah. It’s just… fucked up, that’s all.”
“We know,” Jace murmured. “We know.”*
A beat of silence passed before Aegon leaned back in his chair, exhaling loudly. “Well. If nothing else, you’ve got us.”
You looked up at him, confused. “What?”
“We’re in this now too,” Aegon shrugged. “Like it or not. And if anyone so much as breathes your name in the wrong way, they’ll be answering to us.”
Aemond nodded slightly, his expression unreadable, but you could see the sincerity in his gaze.
Your lips parted slightly, surprise washing over you. You weren’t used to this—to people standing by you, defending you.
“You don’t have to do that,” you said quietly.
“We know,” Jace said, squeezing your hand. “But we will.”
You swallowed the lump in your throat, nodding slightly.
Maybe, just maybe, you weren’t as alone as you thought.
As Jace stood beside you, his grip on your hand firm, Aemond’s sharp gaze didn’t waver. Then, without warning, he reached out, grabbing Jace’s wrist and pulling him slightly away from you. Aegon followed, stepping in beside them, forming a small huddle a few feet from where you stood.
You frowned, unease settling in your stomach. Jace’s hand slipped from yours as Aemond led him a little farther, lowering his voice—but not enough for you not to hear.
“What the fuck were you thinking?” Aemond hissed, his single eye burning with frustration. “Lying to her? Keeping her in the dark about the other videos?”
Jace’s jaw tightened. “Because she doesn’t need to know.”
Aegon scoffed, folding his arms across his chest. “And what happens when she finds out? Because she will, Jace. You think you can just shield her forever?”
“If I have to, yes,” Jace snapped back, his expression hardening. “She’s been through enough—”
“And that’s exactly why she deserves the truth!” Aemond cut him off sharply. “You’re treating her like she’s fragile, like she’ll shatter the moment she hears the truth.”
“She’s already shattered,” Jace shot back, his voice low but heavy with emotion. “You didn’t see her, Aemond. You didn’t hear the way she cried in her sleep, the way she begged for help even in her dreams. I did. Every fucking night.”
Aegon sighed, rubbing his temples. “We get it, Jace. We do. But keeping this from her isn’t the solution.”
Aemond stepped closer, his gaze dark and serious. “You think this is over?” he asked, his voice quieter now, but no less intense. “You think just because those bastards are dead, that’s the end of it?”
Jace clenched his jaw. “We wiped out everyone involved.”
“Did we?” Aemond challenged. “Are you sure there’s not a single person out there with access to those videos? Because I’m not.”
Jace exhaled sharply, running a hand through his hair. “We checked everything. Phones, backups, hard drives, laptops. We destroyed it all.”
“And what about people we don’t know about?” Aemond countered. “She was with that bastard for years, Jace. You really think he didn’t share something with someone else? That there aren’t copies floating around somewhere?”
Jace’s hands curled into fists. “Then we find them,” he said, voice steady, unwavering. “And we destroy every last trace of it.”
Aegon sighed, shaking his head. “Look, man. I admire your determination and all, but this isn’t just some street fight we can beat our way out of. We need a plan. A real one.”
“We have one,” Jace said firmly. “Keep her safe. Keep this buried. And if anyone comes looking for her, we make sure they never find her.”
Aemond’s eye narrowed slightly. “And what about her? What about what she wants?”
Jace hesitated for a fraction of a second. “She wants to move on.”
“She wants to survive,” Aemond corrected. “There’s a difference.”
Jace exhaled through his nose. “What do you want me to do, Aemond? Tell her everything? Watch her break even more?”
Aemond stared at him for a long moment before speaking. “I want you to prepare her. Because the worst thing you can do for her right now is let her believe she’s safe when she’s not.”
Jace swallowed hard, his throat tightening.
“If she doesn’t know the full truth,” Aemond continued, “she can’t protect herself. And if she can’t protect herself, then no matter how hard you try—”
“—You’ll never be able to keep her safe,” Aegon finished, his voice quieter now, but just as serious.
Jace shut his eyes for a moment, his hands shaking slightly.
Aemond exhaled, his tone softening just a little. “We’re not saying this to fight you, Jace. We’re saying it because we care about her too. And the longer we wait, the more dangerous this becomes.”
Jace opened his eyes again, his gaze flicking between Aemond and Aegon before finally turning toward you.
You were still standing there, looking small, fragile. But there was something in your eyes—something hesitant, something afraid and that was what broke him the most. Because Aemond was right. You deserved to know. Even if it hurt. Even if it changed everything.
Because the truth?
The real danger hadn’t passed.
Not yet.
The soft hum of the television filled the quiet room, the morning news droning on in the background. You barely paid attention at first, too lost in your own thoughts, but then—
"Breaking news: The bodies of six men were found late last night in an abandoned warehouse on the outskirts of the city. Police have yet to release official statements, but sources suggest that the killings were highly calculated, with no evidence left behind. It is estimated that they had been executed more than six days from the condition of their bodies. Among the deceased is—"
Your breath hitched.
The camera panned across the scene, a shaky close-up of a body partially covered by a bloodstained tarp. But it wasn’t the body that caught your attention—it was the hand.
A limp, lifeless hand, peeking from beneath the tarp and wrapped around that wrist was something you knew all too well.
A bracelet.
A simple, silver bracelet with a small engraving on the inside. Your bracelet or rather—the one you had once given to him. Your heart slammed against your ribs. Your fingers trembled slightly as they curled against your lap.
He was dead.
Truly dead.
Your ex-motherfucking-fiancé was gone.
You barely noticed the way your breathing had quickened until Jace’s warm hand slid over yours, grounding you. You turned slightly, meeting his gaze.
He wasn’t looking at the TV. Neither were Aemond or Aegon. They all sat in silence, unmoving, their expressions unreadable. No regret. No guilt. Just… nothing and that silence alone spoke volumes.
They knew.
They knew.
And they had done it.
Your fingers twitched, but you didn’t pull away. You weren’t scared. You weren’t even angry. If anything— You were relieved.
A deep, shuddering exhale left your lips as you shifted your gaze back to the screen. The news anchor was still talking, going on about police investigations, gang involvement, possible suspects—
It didn’t matter. Because the only thing that mattered was that he was gone. You licked your lips, the words forming before you could stop them.
"He’s really dead."
Jace stiffened slightly beside you, his grip on your hand tightening just a fraction.
Aegon scoffed under his breath, tilting his head slightly. "What, you wanted us to leave him breathing?"
"No." You shook your head, voice steady. "I just… I don’t know. It feels… surreal."
"He doesn’t exist anymore," Aemond stated simply, his tone devoid of emotion. "And neither does the rest of his filth."*
You swallowed, the weight of his words settling over you.
"Good,"* you whispered. That was all you said and that was all you needed to say. A slow, heavy silence settled between you all. Then— A sigh.
Rhaenyra.
She had been standing near the doorway, quietly observing, letting the weight of the moment sink in. But now, she stepped forward, her expression unreadable as she grabbed the remote and clicked the TV off.
"Enough of this," she murmured, turning back toward all of you. "Come. Let’s eat."
You blinked. "What?"
"Breakfast is getting cold," she said simply, walking toward the dining table. "And after everything that’s happened, I think we all need something warm in our stomachs."*
You stared at her, almost incredulous.
The woman just shut off a murder investigation report like it was the weather segment and proceeded to call everyone for breakfast. Aegon let out a short laugh. "God, Sister, sometimes I forget how cold you are."
"It’s not cold," Rhaenyra corrected smoothly, glancing over her shoulder. "It’s practical. We can talk about this later. For now, we eat."
Aemond hummed in agreement, already pushing himself up from the couch. "She’s right."*
Jace hesitated beside you before finally releasing your hand, rising to his feet. He turned to you, his expression softening just a little. "Come on," he murmured. "You need to eat."*
You stared at them all.
At Rhaenyra, effortlessly composed. At Aemond and Aegon, unbothered and calm and at Jace. Jace, who had done all of this for you. Jace, who had gotten his hands dirty for you.
Jace, who had just killed for you and yet, even after all of that— He still looked at you the same. Like you weren’t ruined. Like you weren’t broken. Like you were still you.
Your chest tightened.
Slowly, you inhaled and then you stood up, slipping your fingers into his.
"Okay," you murmured. "Let’s eat."
The clinking of silverware against porcelain filled the dining room, the only sound cutting through the thick silence. You ate slowly, methodically, your mind still processing everything.
It felt strange.
To know they were gone.
That the people who had tormented you, broken you, and made you feel like nothing—were nothing now themselves.
No more threats. No more fear.
Just... silence.
You swallowed another bite, barely tasting it, your eyes flickering up to glance around the table.
Rhaenyra was speaking with Aemond, their conversation low but casual, as if discussing business rather than murder. Aegon, on the other hand, had his usual smug expression, twirling a fork between his fingers.
And then there was Jace.
He wasn’t eating.
He wasn’t even pretending to.
Instead, his gaze was on you, watching your every movement like a hawk. The way your fingers gripped your fork. The way your lips parted slightly before taking another bite. The way your brows furrowed ever so slightly as your mind wandered.
His grip on the table tightened.
And then—
"Alright, enough of this boring silence."
Aegon’s voice cut through the air, making you blink in surprise. You turned your gaze to him just as he leaned back in his chair, stretching lazily before dropping his hands into his lap.
"We have something to discuss," he continued, tilting his head slightly. "After we finish eating, of course."
Something about his tone made you pause. Something about the way he said it—lighthearted yet firm, playful yet serious—made your stomach twist just a little.
You glanced at Jace instinctively and you saw it immediately. The way his entire body had gone rigid. The way his jaw clenched, the muscles twitching slightly. The way his fingers curled against his thigh, a slow exhale escaping his lips as he visibly tried to contain himself.
Your heart skipped a beat.
"Jace?" you murmured quietly, so only he could hear.
He inhaled sharply through his nose, blinking once before shaking his head. "It’s nothing."
But you weren’t stupid.
And you weren’t buying it.
Before you could press further, Rhaenyra’s voice filled the space. "Not at the table, Aegon," she said simply, taking another sip of her drink. "It can wait."
"Oh, come on, sister." Aegon smirked. "Aren’t you curious to see how she reacts? I sure as hell am."
Your stomach twisted even more.
React?
To what?
Your fingers tightened around your fork, your appetite quickly fading as you darted a glance between them all. Aegon’s smugness, Aemond’s neutral indifference, Jace’s barely-contained frustration— They all knew something. Something you didn’t and you weren’t sure you were going to like it.
The living room felt too small.
The walls seemed to close in as you sat on the couch, your fingers gripping the fabric of your clothes without realizing it. Rhaenyra stood by the door, arms crossed, observing silently. Aegon, for once, looked… cautious. Careful. His usual smugness dimmed as he shifted in his seat.
"Look," he started, exhaling through his nose. "I need you to listen and not freak out, alright?"
Your fingers twitched.
Your chest felt tight.
You already didn’t like where this was going.
Aemond, who stood beside Jace, cut straight to the point. "We found more videos," he said, voice void of emotion.
Your ears started ringing.
"More?" Your voice came out quieter than you intended.
Jace tensed beside you, his entire body rigid, his fists clenched so tightly his knuckles turned white. He didn’t want this conversation to happen. You could see it in the way his jaw tightened, the way his foot bounced slightly as if he were barely restraining himself from lashing out.
"Yes," Aemond continued. "Not just one or two. We’re talking—" He hesitated and in that hesitation, you knew. You knew it was bad. Really bad.
"How many?" Your throat felt dry, and the moment you asked, you wished you hadn’t.
Aemond didn’t flinch. Didn’t look away.
"Twenty-four."
The moment the number left his lips, your vision blurred. Your breath hitched. Your fingers went numb.
Twenty-four.
Your heartbeat pounded in your ears.
Twenty-four videos of you.
Your world started spinning. Your lungs constricted, struggling for air, but no matter how hard you tried to breathe, it wasn’t enough.
The walls were closing in.
The room was shrinking.
Your chest burned, your fingers trembled, your vision swayed—
And then—
"Hey. Look at me."
Jace’s voice cut through the haze.
You barely registered that you were shaking. That your breaths were coming out in short, ragged gasps. That your nails had dug into your own arms, gripping yourself so tightly it hurt. Jace grabbed your hands, prying them away from your arms, forcing you to focus on him.
"Breathe." His voice was firm, commanding. "Look at me and breathe."
But you couldn’t.
You couldn’t breathe.
You couldn’t think.
You felt exposed. Violated. Every piece of you had been taken, used, recorded—and now it was all out there.
"They’re gone." His voice softened just a fraction. "They don’t exist anymore. We made sure of it."
His hands cupped your face now, his thumbs brushing against your cheeks.
"Breathe with me."
You felt his forehead press against yours, his warm breath fanning over your lips. He inhaled deeply, exaggerating it so you could follow.
You tried.
You really tried.
But your breath still hitched, still wavered—until his hands slid down to your shoulders, then your back, pulling you into his chest.
"I’ve got you." His voice rumbled against you, low and steady. "I’ve got you, okay? Just focus on me."
You squeezed your eyes shut, clutching onto him, your body still trembling as you struggled to match his breathing.
Slowly, painfully, your heartbeat steadied. The panic didn’t disappear completely, but it dulled, just enough for you to register your surroundings again.
Jace held you, his arms secure, his grip firm yet careful, like he was afraid you might break. When you finally pulled back just slightly, your eyes met his, and you saw it— Rage.
Not at you.
Never at you.
But at the people who had done this to you. "They can’t hurt you anymore," he whispered.
The moment Aemond spoke, your fingers tightened around Jace’s arm. "My men are still looking into it," Aemond said, his voice even, controlled. "There’s a chance those bastards sent the videos to someone else before they died."
Your body went rigid.
Your breath caught in your throat.
No. no, no, no— A strangled sound left your lips, something between a sob and a gasp. Your lungs burned, struggling to take in air as panic clawed at your chest. The room blurred at the edges, and suddenly it was too much—
Too loud.
Too bright.
Too suffocating.
Your knees buckled. You didn’t even realize you were falling until Jace caught you, his strong arms wrapping around your body before you hit the floor.
"Hey, hey—" His voice was frantic now, shaking slightly. "You’re okay. I’ve got you. Just breathe, baby, please."
But you couldn’t.
Your vision darkened, the voices around you fading into nothing and then— Everything went black.
You woke up to warmth.
Gentle hands.
A soft voice calling your name. Your eyelids felt heavy as you slowly blinked, your mind sluggish, your body weak. The first thing you saw was Jace.
He was hovering over you, his brows furrowed, his lips pressed into a thin line. His hands cupped your face, his thumb brushing your cheek.
"You scared the shit out of me," he muttered, his voice raw with emotion.
You swallowed, your throat dry. "What… happened?"
Jace exhaled sharply, running a hand through his hair before gripping your hand tightly. "You passed out," he said, his grip tightening just slightly. "You were panicking, and then—fuck, your eyes just rolled back, and you collapsed."
Your stomach twisted at his words. You had never fainted before. Sure, you had panic attacks, but you had never actually blacked out.
The weight of everything hit you all over again.
The videos.
The possibility that someone else had them.
That they could still be out there, waiting to be exposed, to be used against you.
Your chest tightened again.
Jace saw the way your fingers twitched, the way your breathing started to quicken, and before you could spiral again, he leaned in, pressing his forehead against yours.
"Breathe with me," he whispered.
You shuddered but tried to match his breaths. Inhale. Exhale.
You felt his hand trail down to your back, rubbing slow, soothing circles.
"Aemond’s men are handling it," he reassured you. "And if—if—anyone out there has those videos, we will find them. We will destroy them."
You swallowed hard, your hands gripping his hoodie.
"What if we don’t?" Your voice was barely above a whisper.
His grip on you tightened.
"Then we burn the whole fucking world down until we do." There was no hesitation in his voice. No doubt. Just pure, unwavering determination and for the first time since all of this started…
You felt just a little bit safer.
You sobbed into Jace’s chest, your entire body trembling as fear wrapped around you like a suffocating shroud. The memories, the helplessness, the overwhelming dread—it was all crashing down on you again, like a wave threatening to drag you under.
Jace’s arms tightened around you, his hand cradling the back of your head as he whispered soft reassurances into your ear.
"I’ve got you."
"You’re safe."
"I won’t let anything happen to you."
But the fear didn’t leave. It clung to you, sinking its claws deep into your skin. Aemond let out a quiet sigh, sharing a glance with Aegon before clearing his throat. "Come on," he murmured, nudging Aegon. "Let’s give them some space."
Aegon hesitated for a moment before nodding, and with that, they both slipped out of the room, leaving you alone with Jace.
But even then, the panic didn’t fade.
You clung to him, your fingers digging into the fabric of his hoodie, your sobs shaking your entire body. Jace didn’t say anything—he just held you, pressing gentle kisses against your temple, rubbing slow, soothing circles into your back.
And slowly… so slowly… your cries turned into quiet sniffles.
Your breaths came easier.
Your body felt heavier. Jace exhaled, resting his chin on the top of your head. "Do you want me to get you some water?" he asked softly.
You shook your head weakly. "Just… stay."
"Always."
You didn’t know how long you stayed like that—wrapped in his warmth, the sound of his heartbeat steady against your ear.
But then…
A new presence.
The soft rustling of fabric. A gentle hand on your shoulder. You blinked blearily, and when you looked up, you found yourself staring into the warm, kind eyes of Rhaenyra.
She didn’t say anything. She didn’t have to.
She simply reached out and took your hand, gently pulling you away from Jace before wrapping her arms around you.
And the moment she held you…
You broke down all over again.
A fresh wave of sobs wracked your body as you clung to her, burying your face into her shoulder, your tears soaking into the soft fabric of her dress.
She didn’t shush you. She didn’t tell you to stop crying. She just held you, her fingers threading through your hair, her touch so soft, so motherly.
"You’re safe now, my dear," she murmured, her voice warm and steady. "No one will ever hurt you again. I swear it." You believed her.
Alicent’s voice rang through the house like a sharp blade cutting through the heavy atmosphere.
"Aemond! Aegon!"
You flinched at the sudden intrusion, your grip on Rhaenyra tightening as your breath caught in your throat. Jace immediately stiffened beside you, his expression darkening as he instinctively shifted, placing himself slightly in front of you as if to shield you from whatever storm was about to unfold.
Alicent’s heels clicked loudly against the floor as she stormed into the room, her sharp green eyes scanning the space until they landed on her sons, who had just reentered from the hallway.
"Would one of you like to explain to me why I received a report about six men being slaughtered in a warehouse last week?" she demanded, her voice sharp and filled with barely restrained fury. "And why the two of you are involved?"
Aemond, ever composed, only tilted his head. "I assume you already know the answer, Mother, or else you wouldn’t be here."
Aegon snorted, crossing his arms. "You should be thanking us, honestly."
Alicent’s nostrils flared at their dismissive attitudes, her jaw tightening as she took another step forward. But before she could say anything else, her gaze shifted—finally landing on you.
You froze.
Her sharp green eyes narrowed in confusion as she took in your red-rimmed eyes, your tear-streaked cheeks, and the way Rhaenyra still held you close.
"And who is this?" Alicent asked, her tone less harsh but still filled with scrutiny.
When no one answered immediately, she turned to Rhaenyra. "Who is she? And why is she crying?"
Rhaenyra’s grip on you subtly tightened, as if instinctively shielding you from whatever judgment Alicent might cast.
"She’s someone who has been through enough without you raising your voice at her," Rhaenyra answered coolly. "Lower your tone, Alicent."
The words were spoken softly, but there was steel behind them, and for a brief moment, the room felt colder.
Alicent’s expression flickered with something unreadable before she exhaled sharply, composing herself. "I did not come here to argue with you, Rhaenyra," she muttered. "I came to demand answers from my sons."
But her gaze flickered back to you, eyes scanning you more carefully now—the oversized shirt that was clearly Jace’s, the way you were curled close to Rhaenyra, the quiet trembling of your fingers as you tried to steady your breath.
A realization seemed to settle over her.
She turned back to Aemond and Aegon, her voice quieter now. "What exactly did you two do?"
Aemond merely adjusted his gloves, his expression unreadable. "We took care of a problem."
Alicent’s gaze darted between them, then to Jace, then to you.
"A problem," she repeated, her tone dripping with suspicion. "And this… has something to do with her, doesn’t it?"
No one answered immediately.
But Jace—who had been silent all this time, barely restraining his own rage—finally spoke, his voice eerily calm.
"The men they killed deserved worse."
Alicent’s brows lifted, but before she could ask more, Aegon let out an impatient sigh.
"Look, Mother, just know that we didn’t kill anyone who didn’t deserve it," he said, waving a dismissive hand. "And honestly? We probably did the world a favor."
Alicent’s lips parted as if to say something, but then her gaze shifted back to you. She studied you carefully, as if searching for an answer in the quiet way you curled into Rhaenyra’s embrace, the way your fingers fidgeted, the way Jace had positioned himself protectively near you.
Then… something in her expression softened.
She wasn’t stupid.
She had seen this kind of fear before.
She took a slow breath, then exhaled.
"I see." It wasn’t an apology. It wasn’t approval. But it was understanding and for now… that was enough.
Jace barely had time to react before Alicent stepped forward and shoved him—not hard, but enough to make him stumble slightly backward. His brows furrowed in confusion as he steadied himself, looking at her with narrowed eyes.
"What the hell—"
"Move," Alicent said simply, her voice firm but not unkind. Jace clenched his jaw but obeyed, stepping aside. Then, to your surprise, Alicent turned to you.
She crouched slightly, bringing herself to your level as her gaze softened. You tensed, not knowing what to expect, but she didn’t seem angry—just… studying you.
"I know this is all overwhelming," she finally said, her tone much gentler than before. "But you don’t have to be afraid anymore."
You swallowed, unsure of how to respond.
Then, she reached out and—surprisingly—brushed her fingers through your hair, smoothing it in a motherly gesture.
"Everything will be alright now," she murmured. "No one is going to hurt you again."
Your throat tightened.
You didn’t know what to say. You had braced yourself for judgment, for disapproval, maybe even dismissal. But instead… you were met with warmth.
Alicent took a breath and stood up, glancing at the others.
"I am Alicent Hightower," she finally said, her voice stronger now. "Rhaenyra’s stepmother… and mother to Aemond and Aegon." Her gaze flickered to her sons briefly before settling back on you.
"That means you are under my protection now as well." You blinked, startled.
"I—" You hesitated, unsure of what to say.
"You don’t have to say anything," Alicent interrupted softly. "Just know that from this moment forward, you are not alone. Whatever has happened to you… whatever you have been through… it ends here."
You felt a lump form in your throat. She wasn’t saying it just to make you feel better. She meant it.
Jace, who had been watching quietly, exhaled and crossed his arms. "Took you long enough," he muttered.
Alicent shot him a sharp look. "Watch your mouth, Jacaerys."
Aegon snorted. "That’s rich, coming from you."
Aemond merely sighed, adjusting his gloves as if this conversation was exhausting him. "Can we move past the dramatics now?" he muttered. "We still have more important things to deal with."
Alicent ignored them. Instead, she reached out once more, giving your hand a small but firm squeeze before finally pulling away.
"Come," she said. "You should rest. And we should talk." For the first time in a long time… you believed her.
Aegon groaned as his phone buzzed in his pocket. He leaned back against the couch, pulling it out lazily before glancing at the screen. The name flashing across it made him sit up straighter.
"Helaena?"
Aemond and Jace immediately turned their heads toward him. Without wasting time, Aegon answered the call and put it on speaker.
"Brother," Helaena’s soft but urgent voice filled the room. "I’m coming over. There’s something you need to know."
Aegon frowned, exchanging glances with Aemond and Jace. "What is it? Just tell me now."
"No," she said firmly. "Not over the phone. I’ll be there soon."
And then the call ended. Aegon let out a frustrated sigh, tossing his phone onto the coffee table.
"She always does this," he muttered.
Jace, who had been sitting tensely with his hands clasped, exhaled through his nose. He was still on edge, barely holding himself together after everything that had happened today. His knuckles were white from how tightly he had been clenching his fists.
"If she says it’s urgent, then it must be," Aemond said calmly. He was swirling the amber liquid in his glass, his one remaining eye sharp and calculating. "We wait."
Aegon scoffed. "What if it’s nothing? Helaena has always been—" he paused, searching for the right word, "—peculiar."
Aemond shot him a cold look.
"She sees things," he reminded him. Aegon rolled his eyes but didn’t argue. Jace ran a hand down his face, trying to steady himself.
"What if it’s about her?" he muttered.
Aemond narrowed his eye at him. "Who?"
Jace gave him a sharp look. "Who the fuck do you think?"
Aegon sighed. "Alright, relax. She’s upstairs with our mothers, she’s safe."
Jace didn’t look convinced. His knee bounced up and down anxiously, his entire body restless. Aemond finished his drink in one smooth gulp and set the glass down with a soft clink.
"Then let’s hope Helaena brings something useful."
Helaena strode into the room with a sense of urgency, her heels clicking against the floor as she clutched her laptop tightly. Without a word, she shoved Aegon aside, making him grunt in protest.
"Fucking hell, Helaena," Aegon muttered, rubbing his arm where she had pushed him.
Ignoring him, she placed the laptop on the coffee table and opened it swiftly, her fingers flying over the keyboard. The screen illuminated her face, and her expression darkened as she pulled up an email inbox—your email inbox.
Jace, who had been standing tense with his arms crossed, immediately stepped closer. His brows furrowed as he recognized the email address.
"What the fuck is this?" Aemond asked, leaning forward.
Helaena didn’t say anything at first. Instead, she clicked on the most recent email. The moment the content loaded, she turned the screen towards them.
The room fell into silence.
Displayed on the screen were several screenshots—gruesome, explicit, and undeniably real. Each frame contained a piece of your nightmare, stolen and turned into a weapon against you.
Jace’s breath hitched, his jaw tightening as his hands curled into fists. He could feel the bile rising in his throat. His vision blurred with rage as he scanned the threatening message attached to the images:
"You belongs to me. Did you think you could erase everything? The world will see soon enough. Three hours."
Aegon let out a long, slow exhale, running a hand through his hair.
"These fucking bastards," he muttered under his breath. Aemond leaned in closer, his fingers tapping the armrest of the couch rhythmically as he processed the situation.
"Who the fuck sent this?" Jace finally spoke, his voice eerily calm, but the fury behind it was unmistakable.
Helaena’s fingers moved again, tracing the source of the email. "It’s untraceable for now. They used a deep web service to send it. But I might be able to find something if I have more time."
"We don’t have time," Jace growled, pacing back and forth. "We have less than three hours."
"Then we act now," Aemond stated simply, already pulling out his phone.
Jace clenched his fists, breathing heavily through his nose. He wanted to punch something. He wanted to kill something.
"We need to tell her—" Aegon started, but Jace cut him off sharply.
"She doesn't need to know about this."
Aemond, leaning back against the couch, let out a slow breath, tilting his head slightly as he observed his nephew. "And what happens when she finds out? Because you know she will, Jace."
Jace’s jaw tightened. He ran a hand through his curls in frustration before snapping, "Did you see what happened earlier? Did you? She fucking shut down, Aemond. She had a full-blown panic attack just from hearing about the other videos. What do you think will happen if she finds out some bastard still has them?"
Aegon leaned against the wall, arms crossed, nodding slightly in agreement. "He's not wrong," Aegon muttered. "She’s barely holding on as it is. If we tell her, it’ll break her completely."
Helaena, who had been silently working on her laptop, finally spoke up. Her voice was softer but carried weight. "Keeping it from her might feel like protection, but if she finds out later—on her own—it’ll feel like betrayal."
Jace clenched his fists, his frustration boiling just beneath the surface. "I know that," he admitted, his voice quieter now. "But right now, the only thing that matters is making sure she never has to see this again. We have less than three hours. We take care of it. And we make sure she never finds out."
Aemond exhaled through his nose, considering. He tapped his fingers against his knee in thought before finally nodding. "Fine. But if this backfires, it's on you."
Jace met his uncle's gaze with unwavering determination. "It won’t backfire. Because we’re not going to fail."
Helaena sighed, her fingers still typing as she tracked the email source. "We need a plan."
Jace didn’t hesitate. "Then let’s get to work."
The voices of Alicent and Rhaenyra grew louder as they approached the living room, their conversation stopping the moment they saw the laptop screen.
Alicent froze. Her usually composed face hardened as she took in the images, her lips pressing into a thin line. For a long moment, she said nothing, just staring at the evidence of what had been done to you. The silence stretched, heavy and suffocating, until finally, she spoke.
"Where did you get this?" Her voice was sharp, controlled—but beneath it was a barely contained fury.
Helaena, still typing rapidly, answered without looking up. "It was sent to her email an hour ago. An anonymous account, but I’m tracing it now."
Alicent inhaled sharply, then turned to Jace. "Does she know?"
Jace didn’t answer right away. He pinched the bridge of his nose, exhaling harshly before shaking his head. "No. And she doesn’t need to."
Rhaenyra crossed her arms, glancing toward the stairs. "She’s asleep. I gave her something to help her rest." Her gaze softened slightly, but her voice remained firm as she turned back to them. "She was still shaken after everything earlier. I couldn’t leave her like that."
Jace’s jaw tightened. The thought of you needing medication just to find peace made something in him twist painfully. He hated this. Hated that you were suffering while he sat here, helpless to make it all go away.
Alicent moved to stand beside the couch, her eyes narrowing as she took in the email again. "And you were planning on handling this yourselves?"
Aegon scoffed, rubbing the back of his neck. "What do you think, Mother? We don’t exactly have a lot of options here."
Aemond, still leaning back in his chair, finally spoke. His tone was cold, practical. "We need to find out if these are the only copies. If this bastard sent them to someone else, we’re in trouble."
Helaena glanced up from her screen. "I’m working on it. But it’s not easy. Whoever this is, they know how to cover their tracks."
Jace let out a slow breath, rubbing a hand over his face. His entire body felt tense, his mind running through every possible outcome. None of them were good.
"Then we move fast," he said finally. "We find this bastard before the three hours are up. And we make sure he never gets the chance to do this again."
Alicent watched him carefully, something unreadable in her expression. "And if she finds out?"
Jace met her gaze without hesitation. "She won’t."
But even as he said it, he couldn’t ignore the sinking feeling in his chest. Because deep down, he knew—secrets like this never stayed hidden forever.
Rhaenyra guided Jace through the dimly lit hallway, her grip on his wrist firm but gentle. He didn’t resist, didn’t ask where she was taking him—he simply followed, his mind too clouded to think clearly. The weight of everything was pressing down on him, heavier than ever before.
Once they reached the back garden, away from the others, Alicent finally stopped. The cool night air wrapped around them, the scent of damp earth and blooming flowers filling the space. Jace stood there, his hands clenched into fists at his sides, his breathing uneven.
Rhaenyra turned to face him, her eyes scanning his face. He looked exhausted—his usual confidence stripped away, replaced by something raw and vulnerable.
"Jace," she called his name softly, reaching out to touch his shoulder.
He flinched slightly at the contact, but didn’t pull away. He kept his gaze on the ground, his jaw tightening as he struggled to keep his emotions in check.
"You don’t have to hold it in," She whispered, rubbing slow circles on his back. "Not with me."
Jace exhaled sharply, his shoulders shaking slightly. His fingers dug into his palms as he tried to push everything down—the anger, the helplessness, the fear. But then Rhaenyra pulled him into a firm embrace, wrapping her arms around him as if she were shielding him from the world.
And just like that, the dam broke.
Jace’s breath hitched as he buried his face against her shoulder, his entire body trembling. He wasn’t crying—not exactly—but he was close. His arms hung limp at his sides for a moment before he finally gave in and held onto her, gripping the back of her dress tightly.
"I can’t—" His voice was hoarse, barely above a whisper. "I don’t know how to fix this, Mother."
Rhaenyra tightened her hold on him. "You don’t have to fix everything, Jace. You’re already doing more than enough."
"It’s not enough!" His voice cracked, frustration leaking into his words. "She’s still suffering. She’s still afraid. And I—" He sucked in a sharp breath, his eyes squeezing shut. "I should have been there. I should have done something sooner."
Rhaenyra pulled back slightly, cupping his face in her hands. "You listen to me, Jacaerys Velaryon," she said firmly, her green eyes locking onto his brown ones. "What happened to her is not your fault. You found her when she needed you most. You protected her when no one else did. And right now, she needs you to be strong. Not to punish yourself for something you had no control over."
Jace clenched his jaw, his eyes glistening under the moonlight.
"But what if it happens again?" he whispered. "What if I can’t stop it?"
Rhaenyra sighed, brushing his curls away from his forehead. "Then we will deal with it together. All of us."
Jace let out a shaky breath. He wasn’t sure if those words were enough to ease the storm raging inside him, but at the very least, they made him feel a little less alone.
For the first time in a long time, he allowed himself to rest—just for a moment—in his mother’s embrace.
Jace’s chest tightened as he stepped back inside, his eyes immediately landing on the laptop where Helaena sat hunched over the keyboard. Aemond stood beside her, arms crossed, his expression unreadable. Aegon was pacing, rubbing his face in frustration.
“What is it?” Jace asked, his voice strained.
Helaena didn’t look away from the screen as she spoke. “I found something.” Her fingers hovered over the trackpad, the cursor blinking over a hyperlink.
Jace moved closer, his heart pounding. The link led to a dark, barely formatted website with a single string of numbers— a phone number.
Without hesitation, Helaena grabbed her phone and dialed. The call rang twice before someone picked up. A man’s voice, disguised and dripping with amusement, came through the speaker.
“Ah… I was wondering when you’d call.”
Jace stiffened, his grip on the back of Helaena’s chair tightening.
“Who the fuck are you?” Aemond demanded, his voice low and cold.
The man chuckled, the sound light and taunting. “Now, now. No need to be so rude. You already know who I am, don’t you?”
Jace’s hands curled into fists. “Where did you get those videos?���
“Oh, those?” The man hummed as if she was reminiscing about a fond memory. “Let’s just say… a little birdie left me a gift before he met his unfortunate end. And now, I hold something very, very precious to you, Jacaerys.”
Jace’s stomach churned. “What do you want?”
“Oh, it’s not about what I want. It’s about what you want. And I imagine you want those files deleted, don’t you?”
Helaena’s hands were shaking slightly as she tried tracing the call, her eyes flicking between the numbers on the screen.
“If you lay a finger on those files—” Aemond started, but the woman cut him off with a laugh.
“Relax, Aemond. I’m not an idiot. I know exactly how valuable this is.”
Aegon exhaled harshly, his hands on his hips. “So? What’s your price?”
The man clicked his tongue. “I’ll be in touch soon. Until then… be good boys, won’t you?”
And with that, the line went dead.
Helaena cursed under her breath, slamming the laptop shut. “Damn it! He cut off the trace.”
Jace ran a hand through his hair, his breath ragged. He glanced at Aemond and Aegon, their expressions mirroring his own fury and frustration.
“Who the fuck is he?” Jace muttered.
Aemond’s eyes darkened. “Someone who clearly knows how to play this game.”
Jace clenched his jaw, looking toward the stairs where you were still resting. He had promised to keep you safe, but now—now, the nightmare wasn’t over.
It was just beginning.
Rhaenyra’s expression darkened as she reached for the laptop. “Show me the number again,” she instructed, her voice controlled but tense.
Helaena hesitated for only a second before pulling the number back onto the screen. The moment Rhaenyra’s eyes landed on it, her entire body stiffened. Her fingers curled against the table, knuckles turning white.
Aegon, who had been watching her reaction closely, narrowed his eyes. “You recognize it.” It wasn’t a question.
Rhaenyra exhaled sharply. “I do.”
Jace’s heart pounded in his chest. “Who is it?”
Her lips pressed into a thin line before she finally spoke, her tone sharp as a blade. “Hellfire.”
The room went completely silent.
Aemond was the first to react, his jaw tightening. “You mean them?”
Rhaenyra gave a slow nod. “Yes. That number belongs to someone within Hellfire. And if they’re involved, this just got much worse than we thought.”
Jace felt a chill run down his spine. “Who the hell is Hellfire?”
Aegon let out a dry laugh, but there was no humor in it. “Only the biggest fucking problem our family has ever had.”
Helaena, still typing furiously, glanced up. “They’re an underground syndicate. Ruthless, highly organized, and they specialize in blackmail, extortion, and destruction. They don’t just ruin people—they erase them.”
Jace’s breath hitched. “And we’re their target?”
Rhaenyra turned to face him fully, her expression grim. “We’ve always been their target.”
Aemond ran a hand down his face. “So this isn’t just about the videos.”
“No,” Rhaenyra confirmed. “It’s about power. They must have been working with those bastards long before we even knew. The question is—” she gestured to the laptop, ”—why did they keep the videos? What’s their endgame?”
Jace’s stomach twisted. “They said they’d be in touch. They want something.”
Aegon scoffed. “Of course they do. And I doubt it’s just money.”
Helaena’s eyes darkened. “No. They never plays for just money. They play for control.”
Jace exhaled sharply, his hands balling into fists. “Then we take the fight to them.”
Aemond gave him a sharp look. “Not without a plan. We can’t afford to go in blind.”
“We don’t have time to wait!” Jace snapped, his anger boiling over. “They have those videos! They could release them at any second!”
Rhaenyra placed a firm hand on his shoulder. “Jace.” Her voice softened just slightly. “I know what’s at stake. But if we don’t handle this the right way, we won’t be able to protect her.”
Jace swallowed hard, his mind flashing back to you sleeping upstairs, completely unaware of what was unfolding.
“Then what do we do?” he asked, his voice quieter but no less desperate.
Rhaenyra’s gaze swept over her sons before settling on Helaena. “We find them before they make their next move. We cut this off at the root.”
Aemond’s eyes gleamed with something dark. “And we end them.”
Jace’s fingers tightened around his phone as he read the message again, his breathing growing heavier with every second. His jaw clenched, and his entire body went rigid.
“Son of a bitch,” he muttered under his breath, his voice barely above a growl.
The message was the same for everyone. A single video file attached, a brutal reminder of what had already been done to you. Jace refused to open it. He didn’t need to. The mere thought of it made his blood boil.
His eyes snapped up, meeting Aemond’s and Helaena’s. “Tell me you have something.”
Aemond exhaled sharply, shaking his head. “Nothing yet. Whoever’s behind this is smart. They’re covering their tracks well.”
Helaena was furiously typing on her laptop, her expression tense. “I’m trying to trace the origin of the message, but it’s bouncing through too many servers. It’s like trying to follow a ghost.”
Jace ran a frustrated hand through his hair before slamming his fist down on the table, making everyone flinch. “We’re running out of fucking time!” he snapped. “Every second we sit here doing nothing is another second they have power over her!”
Rhaenyra, who had been silent until now, spoke up from where she stood near the window. “We are doing something, Jace. We’re figuring this out.”
“Not fast enough,” he shot back, his voice raw with frustration.
Aegon let out a dark chuckle from where he was leaning against the wall. “I hate to say it, but he’s right. If we don’t act now, we’re just waiting for them to release the rest of the videos. And when they do, it’s over.”
Jace’s hands were shaking. He turned to Aemond, his eyes burning. “We need leverage. We need something that will force them to stop before they do any more damage.”
Aemond met his gaze, calculating. “You’re talking about playing their game.”
“I don’t give a fuck what game we have to play, Aemond. We end this. Now.”
Helaena suddenly sat up straighter, her eyes wide. “Wait. I think I found something.”
Everyone immediately turned to her.
“What is it?” Rhaenyra asked.
Helaena’s fingers flew across the keyboard as she pulled up a new window. “I traced the number back to an old account linked to multiple aliases. And I just found a lead—an offshore account that was recently accessed from a location in the city.”
Jace leaned over her shoulder, his heart pounding. “Where?”
She hesitated before looking up. “It’s a nightclub. One of theirs.”
Aemond smirked. “Now we’re talking.”
Jace grabbed his jacket. “Let’s go.”
Rhaenyra’s voice stopped him. “Jace, wait.”
He turned, his expression dark. “There’s no time to wait.”
She stepped closer, her eyes locking onto his. “I know. But you need to be smart about this. No reckless moves.”
Aegon scoffed. “Kind of hard when we’re dealing with psychopaths who hold all the cards.”
Aemond crossed his arms. “Not for long.”
Jace’s grip tightened on his phone. His mind was made up. “We finish this tonight.”
Tag list : @danytar @hangmanscoming @julessworldd @yazzzmints @callsignwidow @giirlinblack @searatarg @vaelry @ashblooddragons
#hotd imagine#hotd#modern jacaerys#jacaerys velaryon#jacaerys x you#hotd jacaerys#jacaerys targaryen#house of the dragon#house targaryen#hotd headcanon#modern hotd#hotd modern au#hotd fanfic
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Religion is bad now, just because???
I find it pretty funny and sad that of the very few people Bells Hell's actually asked and genuinely interacted with about what they should do who had ties to the gods. It was the Mighty Nein and all three of Caduceus, Yasha and Fjord talked about how much they meant to them and helped them.
Caduceus even going so far to say that he asks them to do, "What's kind".
Fast forward to the finale and Laudna is confused and even angry that people are mad at them stating they "saved them". As well as Ashton literally insulting them essentially calling them lazy for "Not wanting to work on themselves" as a person who had barely began to work on themselves.
These people are not kind they're not heroes, they are the villains when all things are considered. I wish the campaign would have highlighted/explored these themes more because right now it just feels like unearned self righteousness with minimal consequences or push-back from the world they just dismantled (for the worse imo but that's for another long form post).
It's hard for me to root and agree with the perspective of a group of people who barely interacted with religion. This should have been a significant element of the plot for the campaign but was somehow rarely engaged with by the party and yet they claim to be the heroes for mortals? So of course it makes sense Laudna is confused, she and frankly the rest of BH are genuinely unaware of what they did or even why they did it, even if conceptually some of them understand it.
It's like watching a child come into a gallery and destroy all the art because of a negligent parent. Then when confronted you're told by that parent "It's okay they don't understand what they're doing, it'll be fine" with no chance for a resolution.
For many of us as longtime viewers, we have a plethora of previous content that has shown religion in Exandria as a generally neutral/if not positive element. So many of us are sort of confused as we're being told actually it's bad and needs to change without really showcasing why and the people who did it just get to live happily ever after.
C3's biggest crime to me was despite focusing on plot so much at the detriment of the characters, we rarely ever explored the dozens of interesting elements that something this big should touch on. In fact many of those elements only got slightly touched on in supplemental content when answering questions outside of the game and the others either were ignored or shrugged off until the very end of the campaign.
I say all of this as a long time atheist too so I don't even particularity have any connection to religion myself. I don't even mind how it all ends up as a concept I just think they never sold to me (and many others it seems) why we should agree or care.
It was an ocean sized plot with the depth of a puddle.
#critical role#crspoilers#cr spoilers#bells hells#mighty nein#cr campaign 3#fjord stone#yasha nydoorin#caduceus clay#laudna#ashton greymoore
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can we please have a snippet of whatever you’re working on right now? please 🙏🏽 i’ve been refreshing your tumblr and ao3 for weeks now. sorry i just love your work!
babes im literally so sorry!!!😖😖 I’ve been neglecting you all 😫💔💔
and don’t be sorry AT ALL i appreciate your love for my work sm!!🥹💗💗
so i’ve been working on like all my wips all at once (which i probably shouldn’t do and should just focus on one at a time but i’m crazy like that)
so below the cut imma give you all the snippets i have so far for some of my wips in hopes of holding yall over till i can get my shit together and post something 😭😭 (tho last time i went on Ao3 it was down 😔)
The Game Plan au: (it’s based off a movie btw, so if you haven’t seen it then this probably wont make any sense but it’s a bit of a slow burn one w Joe and Ja’marr so)
Ja’marr plans to spend his free day relaxing on his couch. With no football game or practice, Ja’marr has an empty schedule. The tv plays some ESPN analysts on last week's games but Ja’marr pays no mind to it. He thinks most of those analysts are full of shit anyway.
He’s close to taking a midday nap with his dog Tiger curled up next to him when he hears his doorbell ring. Confused by the unplanned guest and his doorman not telling him about a visitor, Ja’marr turns the tv off and slowly walks to his door, looking out the peephole only to see nobody there. Ja’marr throws open the door, ready to cuss the ding dong ditch-er out but he stops himself when he looks down to see a young girl.
With brown skin and dark curly hair down to her shoulders, dressed in a bright pink puffer jacket and a purple suitcase sitting beside her. Ja’marr understands why she’s here now.
“Oh, look, I don’t want any girl scout cookies.” Ja’marr apologizes and goes to close the door but the little girl sticks her hand out to stop it from closing. “Alright, look what I got,” Ja’marr pulls a hundred dollar bill from his pocket. “Here ya go.”
The little girl looks at him like he’s crazy. “I don’t want any money.” She says. Tiger barks somewhere behind him. Ja’marr watches in shock as the girl lets herself in, pushing past him and the heavy apartment door.
“You have a bulldog!” She exclaims, crouching down to pet him. “Come ‘ere boy!” His vicious attack dog runs up to her and immediately rolls over on his back, letting the little girl scratch his tummy. Traitor.
“Hey, weren’t you taught about the danger of strangers?” Ja’marr asks, confused as he follows the girl into his living room. He doesn’t know what to do with the kid, who clearly can’t take no for an answer. “Where are your parents?”
“You’re not a stranger.” The little girl finally says as she continues to look around the apartment in amazement. “This place is huge.” She says in wonder, completely ignoring his second question.
“Wait, go back. What do you mean ‘I’m not a stranger’?” Ja’marr persists. The little girl stops wandering around and stands in front of Ja’marr, giving him her full attention.
“Hi, my name is Mya Chase and I’m your daughter.” She says.
Ja’marr must be dreaming. He laughs, “Larry put you up to this, huh?” Ja’marr says and Mya scrunches her eyebrows together. “The guy downstairs at the desk. He told you to prank me.” Ja’marr laughs again but Mya just stays stoic before eventually rolling her eyes.
“She told me you would do this.” She mumbles and unzips her pink coat to grab something from a hidden pocket inside the jacket. It’s a white envelope with ‘For Ja’marr Chase’ written in bold letters. Ja’marr takes it and opens it to see a birth certificate. Ja’marr scoffs and looks back to Mya, who’s still completely serious and unbothered. “Your name is on it.” She says, shrugging.
“My name is on it…” Ja'marr chuckles and pulls the certificate all the way out and reads the bottom of the document. “Father: Ja’marr Chase.” With his signature and everything. Or well, a forged signature.
What the fuck.
“Why do you have so many pictures of yourself?” Mya asks. her hands trailing against the glass of his trophy case, leaving behind grubby little fingerprints. Ja’marr ignores the question and instead calls for backup.
Tee Higgins shows up in a matter of minutes. The first thing Ja’marr says when he walks in is “Help.” And that’s when Tee sees the little girl sitting at the kitchen island with a barbie doll in her hands.
“Oh!” Tee says in surprise and Ja’marr gives him a look of ‘I told you this was big’.
They whisper to each other at the other end of the island as Mya pays attention to her doll. The birth certificate sits idly in between them.
“I mean, that’s definitely your name on the certificate.” Tee points out.
“Thanks Tee, I didn’t notice that.” Ja’marr deadpans. He rubs at his eyes, dragging his hands down his face with a sigh. “I don’t know what to do, man.”
“Well, have you talked to Kelly yet?” Tee asks. And Ja’marr looks down at the paper with Mother: Kelly Harris written on it. He hasn’t even thought about her in the midst of everything.
“No, we haven’t talked since I went to her house to break things off and we…we—” Ja’marr suddenly remembered what happened the last time he saw Kelly. He turns to the fridge behind him, “I’m hungry, is anyone else hungry?”
“Ja’marr, when did this ‘We’ happen?” Tee questions.
“Like, eight or so years ago.” Ja’marr whispers back and Tee turns to Mya.
“How old are you, kid?” Tee asks.
“Eight.” She says simply, Tee turns back to Ja’marr.
“Congratulations, Ja’marr.” He says with a grin. Tiger barks in the background. Ja’marr feels like they’re both laughing at him.
“This can’t be happening.” Ja’marr sighs. He can’t have a kid. Not with the Championship right around the corner.
(so as you can see Joe hasn’t even been introduced yet so that one’s gonna be a long one)
Pro Bowl angst: (this came to me after watching all the clips we got of Joemarr during the Pro Bowl and i wanted to write almost like a character study of Ja’marr’s thoughts throughout the events and shit)
Ja’marr’s excited about the Pro Bowl games. Really. He enjoyed going last year and despite being upset about not being in the Superbowl, he’s ready for the fun-natured competition.
The hot Orlando sun beats down on his back, he feels sweat bead down the side of his face. After a week in the cold Paris weather, Ja’marr relishes in the humid air.
The world around him is dark and orange, the sunglasses propped up on his nose allows him to glance around without being too noticeable. They’re outside of the stadium, getting ready to take some team photos; fans and camera crews standing all around them. Ja’marr meets a few fans, signs a few jerseys and footballs, and does some interviews for the media. It isn’t until he’s set free does he spot Joe.
Wearing the same red shirt Ja’marr has on, only difference being the number and the name on the back, Joe squats down to talk to a little kid with a football that’s almost as big as him in his hands. It’s now that Ja’marr’s thankful for the glasses hiding his stare. Ja’marr watches as Joe intently listens to the kid in front of him, nodding every now and then, blue eyes squinting from the harsh sunlight.
(that’s literally all i have so far😖😖😖)
sorry once again that i haven’t posted in forever tho!!! :( it’s literally like just a whole brick has hit me and i can’t get inspired to write cuz i do have time to now but i can’t get my fingers to type 😭😭😭
soon my lovelies, soon 💗💗💗
#joe burrow#jamarr chase#joemarr#football rpf#ao3#anon ask#so many wips#my wrtitng#cincinnati bengals#love ya <3
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Lais!! I'm SO sorry this took me such a long time to get to read!! It was totally my loss - because this was amazing! I've been wanting to read it since you posted it! 😩 But life has been ridiculous and I've been knocked tf out by Covid for about a week and a half!
I'm starting to do better, much less dizzy and feverish, so I can actually sit up and concentrate on a screen without feeling like I'm gonna pass out. 😞
Anyway, this story was definitely my treat for getting through Covid once again! It was amazing! And I absolutely loved it! Bunch of my rambling thoughts below. 😁❤️
The feeling of Dean’s warm, big hand around hers brought a sense of security she hadn’t felt in a while. Even if she didn’t know he was Sam’s brother, Dean would be a person she would trust immediately. He just had that aura.
He does just give that aura, I can't imagine anyone not being made to feel utterly safe with Dean nearby! 😍
She didn’t think she’d ever met someone as handsome as Sam’s brother. He looked like he came directly from the pages of a magazine, a Hollywood movie or something. In his jeans and a worn-out oversized leather jacket, he was simply stunning. She couldn’t help but avert his piercing gaze, feeling suddenly shy with the intensity of it.
I'm still not sure how anyone ever exists in a normal day-to-day existence with this man around! I think of all the things in the show that force the audience to suspend their belief, the idea that people can just continue to function normally with Dean right beside them is the hardest to swallow. 😁
“Ugh”, she complained, getting on her tiptoes so she could search inside a high cupboard, “I could’ve sworn those plates were somewhere in here”.
😄 I feel her short person's frustration.
“I said you’re nice, smart and handsome, but I forgot the most important part: you’re funny too!”, she exclaimed, playfully punching his arm.
A very important part of Dean's overall appeal actually. In the show people are always giving him looks to say like, 🙄 "That wasn't funny." or just being like 😒. But I always think he's funny! He doesn't get enough credit for his sense of humour! ❤️
...He texted me back ‘can’t make it, stuck at work’”, she chuckled, humorlessly. “The bastard didn’t even say he was sorry. So I paid him the same respect he paid me. I texted back, saying he shouldn’t bother showing up ever again, that I didn’t wanna see his face and it was all over between us. He never answered”, Maisie finished, taking a deep breath.
Hooray!! Way to go, Maisie! Though, I worry for her. I have a feeling he isn't going to accept that graciously! 😬
She stood on her tiptoes to reach his face, and Dean slid his hand to the small of her back, supporting her and bringing her close to his body, when- The sound of a loud honk startled them both, pulling them out of their lust haze.
I knew it!! If I didn't already hate him, I sure as hell hate him for interrupting that kiss!! 😡
“I’m not going anywhere until you talk to me, bitch!”, he yelled, his grip making it impossible for her to free herself of his hold.
From "darling" to "bitch" in two seconds flat. What a friggin' charmer this guy is!! 😡
“I want this to happen, whatever this is, between you and me. I want… to get to know you. If you want to, that is. But I need to make sure it has nothing to do with Eric. With me being in need of comfort, or company, or about you protecting me from him - which I’m thankful for, by the way.
VERY smart thinking on her part, very logical. Yet, I fear that could never be me. 😄 I don't think I'd ever have the willpower. She's absolutely right though. Gotta be sure, don't wanna ruin something so perfect just cause she got the timing wrong. ❤️
He quickly recovered, placing a hand on her cheek, deepening the kiss a little and guiding her into it, sliding his lower lip over hers and lightly sucking it.
“Yeah”, Sam let out a deep sigh and shook his head. “Eric broke in early in the morning, Maisie was still sleeping. He was drunk and screaming that they should get back together. She said no and told him to leave, so he started to lock all the doors and windows to stop her from escaping.
How completely terrifying!! 🥺🥺
She’d just been through a terrible trauma and, as a pro at avoiding feelings and acting like nothing wrong had happened, Dean knew exactly what she was doing.
I love him for that. ❤️❤️ It's exactly the kind of good man he is. But also - 😩 I feel for Maisie!! There's so much delicious tension here between them! It's so palpable! 🥵🥵
It also helped that I’m much taller than him”, he smirked, making Dean chuckle.
😄😄 Sam!! I love him!
“Take your shirt off, Dean”, she demanded, and he quickly obeyed. Maisie stared at him towering over her, his toned body looking godly under the dim lights of the room.
Oh my god!! That is the dream!! Dean Winchester mostly naked (okay, totally naked is better) and towering above me. 🥵🥵
“Tell me, Dean”, Maisie encouraged him, wanting to hear more of that deep, sexy voice of his saying dirty things to her.
Don't we all! Dean Winchester talking dirty is the hottest porn EVER!! 🥵🥵
Maisie was not happy with the fact that he didn’t look for Dean, and she had a suspicion that was the reason they fought.
You an me both, Mais! That was the only thing Sam ever did that TRULY pissed me off. I was very glad that he eventually admitted how wrong it had been and told Dean how sorry he was for it. Like, Dean, I forgave him, but I was SO mad!
I'm so interested to see how he's going to be with her!
“I- I love you too, Maisie. I didn’t realize how much until I couldn’t be with you”.
Yes!!!!! They admitted it! I was so worried too much time was going to have passed, or he was going to be too different, or something. But I'm SO happy that he just needed to get home to her!! ❤️
Dean watches as Lily’s eyelids got heavier and heavier as he finishes the story. When she finally falls asleep, her little hand still holding his thumb tightly, he gently pushes her hair, as dark as her mom’s, out of her face. His movements are delicate, but she opens her big green eyes that look so much like his, and stares at him briefly, before falling asleep again.
Dean as a girl dad is my ultimate happy headcanon! I just think he'd be an amazing Dad, period - but to a little girl?!!! A little girl with dark hair and green eyes?!! I'm gone! 😍😍
“Just for two or three minutes. I arrived when you were telling her about how you fell in love with me from the first time you saw me”, she revealed, looking up at him and blushing.
Okay, I absolutely LOVE that he was telling Lily their love story! 😍🥹
Once she’s old enough, she’s gonna know how her dad went through hell and Purgatory, and how her mom was the reason he came back every time.
All. the. tears. 😭😭😭
Astounding!! This story was so sweet and full. I love all the details, I love the way their love is both immediate and blooming. Like, they know immediately that it's something special, but they both work hard to make sure the moment is right for them. Like, I said, I love that they neither of them wants to blow it by starting something so perfect before it's the perfect time for them too.
I'm so happy for their happy ending! I loved this, my friend! Again, I'm so sorry it took me SO long to have the chance to read it! Rest assured, I'll be reading it again!! ❤️❤️
Dean x OFC: Short and Sweet
Pairings: Dean Winchester x Maisie (OFC)
Warnings: +18. Trigger warnings: Abusive relationship. Emotional negligence. Physical abuse. OFC’s boyfriend is a jackass. Smut. P in V. Unprotected sex (it’s fiction, people). Porn but also fluff and romantic, because it’s me.
Summary: When Dean was introduced to one of Sam’s old friends from Stanford, he didn’t expect his whole world to change.
Word count: ~15K (I’M SO SORRY, IT’S BEEN TOO LONG SINCE I WROTE SOMETHING, OKAY)
A/N 1: This story is set during the first seasons, probably around year 4. Don’t know exactly how long it would’ve taken Sam to finish Stanford, but I believe it would be around four years, so let’s imagine the brothers are young. Dean’s behavior in the beginning is also more like in the first seasons, so bear with me.
A/N 2: I have my very first original character! That’s scary. The image of her came to my mind so clearly, I couldn’t just ignore it. I kept writing and imagining her, it couldn’t be Y/N this time. It sucks that I can’t draw a straight line to save my life, ‘cause I wanted so badly to draw her so you guys can see her the way I do!
Anyways, I hope this story doesn’t suck too much. I wrote three versions of it before deciding this one was the best way to tell it.
A/N 3: I started writing this fic in May, 2022, and could only finish it now. The plan was to post it on Dean’s birthday, but it wasn’t possible, unfortunately. Life has been chill lol.
Enjoy the reading and don’t forget to leave feedback!
MASTERLIST
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The first time Dean saw her, was in a picture. The corners of the photo were in shreds; it was folded in the middle, forever creased from being kept inside Sam’s wallet for so long. Despite its poor state, Dean would never forget it.
"Hey, Dean", Sam had called.
"Yeah?"
"How do you feel about going to a party?"
Dean, who had been searching for a clean shirt in his duffel bag, immediately stopped what he was doing, turning around and staring at his younger brother.
"Excuse me? Are you feeling ok?", he asked, brow raised.
"Seriously, dude”, Sam replied, rolling his eyes. “It's a friend's party", he let his arms fall on his sides, exasperated.
"What friend? You don't have any friends", Dean mocked.
"I do, actually. This is Maisie", he extended the crumpled photo to Dean. It showed a younger Sam during his Stanford era, standing next to Jessica and another girl, whom Sam was pointing at. "I met her in college. She's graduating now, so she invited me over for a party at her house. She knows we’re in California".
Dean looked at the picture with growing interest. The younger version of Sam was smiling in the photo, with Jessica standing between him and the other girl. Sam had his arm around Jess’ shoulders, and the girl had her arm linked with the blonde’s. They were all smiling. Maisie, Sam said that was the girl’s name. She had brown hair, styled in a pixie cut that gave her an edgy look. Her big, rounded eyes were brown too. Her cheeks were flushed and her captivating smile reached her eyes. It wasn’t a full body picture, but Dean could tell the girl was short, because Jessica was way taller than her.
"She's cute”, he elbowed Sam. “Is she single?”
"Dude, no. She has a boyfriend, but he’s a douchebag. His name’s Eric and they met in Stanford too". Sam shrugged, making a disgusted face.
"Huh. And what's so special about her that makes you want to go to her party?". Dean crossed his arms in front of his chest, ready to hear the answer.
"Maisie’s the nicest girl, Dean. She introduced me to Jess. They were friends first, I met her and then it was the three of us against the world”, Sam smiled, reminiscing about a special time of his life. “I miss her a lot. Remember I went to a friend’s parents’ funeral, like, two years ago? It was her mom and dad. Poor girl’s been through hell. Also… she knows about what we do", Sam said, grimacing and lowering his voice, as if he was confessing a crime.
"What?", Dean was surprised with the fact that Sam told someone about their biggest secret.
"I helped her with a witch once. She hid hex bags all over Maisie’s dorm. That’s how we met, actually. So I ended up telling her", he shrugged.
"Oh, well, one day you’re gonna have to tell me the whole story of the witch of Stanford. Anyways, I didn't know you were still in touch with people from college", Dean stated.
Sam sighed. "Actually, Maisie’s the only one I still talk to. But, look, Dean, if you don't wanna go, fine. I’ll go alone".
"Wait, who said I don't wanna go? Of course I wanna go! Hot chicks and free booze? When do we leave?", said Dean, rubbing his hands together and grinning.
Sam chuckled, shaking his head.
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The first time Dean saw her in person, he won’t forget either.
He and Sam arrived at Maisie’s when it was just getting dark. Her house was small but cozy looking, and the path leading to the spacious backyard was decorated with hanging light bulbs. Dean could hear voices and the clink of glasses, along with some music, coming from the back.
“This is the house her parents left for her”, Sam explained.
“How did they die?”, Dean asked, closing the Impala’s door and walking to his brother’s side.
“Car accident. Pretty awful”, Sam shook his head, pausing when he saw someone coming from the end of the lighted path as they stepped on the entryway.
Having heard the sound of the car, Maisie came to check. Dean was right: she was short. He found it cute. Her face lit up when she saw Sam and, as the old friends hugged, he couldn’t help but notice her toned, thick legs. She was wearing a light green summer dress with little white flowers drawn all over it, matched with a pair of white Chuck Taylors.
Don’t know why, but I already like everything about her, Dean thought, watching the girl with growing interest.
"I'm so glad you're here, Sam!", Maisie greeted, holding the younger Winchester’s hand.
"I'm glad to be here too, Maisie. Congratulations!", Sam gave her another quick side hug, making the girl smile grow wider.
"Thanks! I'm a lawyer now, so you know who to call if you ever need one", she winked at him, hinting at their little secret.
"Well, if he doesn't call you, I certainly will", Dean interrupted the friends’ conversation, since Sam hadn’t introduced him yet.
"Oh, sorry, this is my brother Dean. Dean, this is Maisie", Sam said, finally.
"Nice to meet you, Maisie", Dean shook her hand, eyes taking in her beautiful, soft features.
"Nice to meet you too, Dean. Sam told me a lot about you", she said, remembering all the times Sam mentioned his brother, always with love and admiration.
The feeling of Dean’s warm, big hand around hers brought a sense of security she hadn’t felt in a while. Even if she didn’t know he was Sam’s brother, Dean would be a person she would trust immediately. He just had that aura.
"Only good things, I hope", Dean joked, winking at her. He deliberately let his fingers linger a little, the softness of her skin drawing him in.
"Oh, yeah! You’re the best brother ever, apparently", she shot back, earning a grin from him.
"He's right about that", was Dean’s reply, and it made Maisie laugh. She didn’t think she’d ever met someone as handsome as Sam’s brother. He looked like he came directly from the pages of a magazine, a Hollywood movie or something. In his jeans and a worn-out oversized leather jacket, he was simply stunning. She couldn’t help but avert his piercing gaze, feeling suddenly shy with the intensity of it.
"So, Maisie, where's Eric?", Sam asked. Not that he cared about the guy; he was just asking because he knew Eric from before. It would be weird not to ask.
"Oh, he- uh, he had a work thing, so-", she tried to explain, tugging an invisible strand of hair behind her ear, nervously.
"He didn’t come", Sam finished, incredulous. Even though he was already familiar with the way Eric seemed to undervalue the important moments of Maisie’s life, he couldn’t help but hope the guy had finally changed.
Her eyes became teary, and Dean hated seeing her like this.
Noticing Dean’s gaze, she recomposed herself, chuckling humorlessly. "Yeah, you guessed it right. But it doesn’t matter, I’ve already dealt with that”. Without giving any more details, she clapped her hands together and looked from one brother to another, shoving the resentment over Eric’s actions down. “So, you guys want some beer?", she pointed over her shoulder to the inside of the house.
"I'm fine for now, thanks. I'm gonna go say hi to the rest of the gang", answered Sam, looking over his shoulder to the corner of the house, where he could see some of his old classmates among Maisie's guests hanging out in the backyard.
"I'll take that beer", said Dean. Not only he never said no to a beer before, but he also hoped to spend some time with her. For some reason, he took an immediate liking to Maisie. She seemed very nice. And she was pretty.
"Great! Come with me", she said, turning and gesturing for him to follow.
Once inside, Dean noticed right away that the outside of the house gave a perfectly good idea of how the inside looked. The place was cozy, small and neat. He didn’t remember ever being in a typical countryside home, but he was pretty sure it would look somewhat like Maisie’s home, maybe a little bigger.
He looked around while she opened the fridge and grabbed two bottles, opening them, giving one to Dean and leaning against the kitchen counter. When she led the bottle to her lips, Dean noticed that her right hand was bandaged.
"What happened to your hand, if you don't mind me asking?", he questioned, taking a sip of the cold beverage.
"Oh, I hurt it while I was hanging the lights. The ones at the entrance. Eric was supposed to help me but, as you know, he didn’t show up, so…", she left the sentence incomplete, shrugging as if it was nothing, but Dean could tell she was upset about it.
"It seems like your boyfriend is not very… present", he commented, trying to take it easy on his disapproving tone, but failing to do it.
"Yeah, you can say that", Maisie replied, her voice barely audible.
“Sorry about that”, Dean said and approached her, gently holding her hand and looking at the bandage, just to make sure she dressed the wound properly.
The girl felt her heart racing. She knew Dean and Sam got hurt a lot. Their job was scary and dangerous, so Dean was probably just seeing if she had taken good care of the wound. But that was exactly what made her heart skip a couple of beats. I mean, how sweet is it that he barely knows me and is being so nice already?, she thought.
Maisie felt an urge to get closer to him, to open her heart and let him in. The last time she did that was with Eric, and it hasn’t worked well. But, somehow, she knew Dean was different.
“I wish that was the worst thing he’d done”, she said, more to herself than to Dean.
“Sorry?”, Dean raised his head, still holding her hand.
“E- Eric, I mean. He also didn’t come to my parents’ funeral’, she explained, knowing it was too late to ask Dean to let it go. Might as well finish what I’ve started.
"Wow. I'm sorry, but that's fucked up, Maisie". A mixture of anger and pity, that was what Dean was feeling. Maisie was a good person, based on what Sam said. And even if she weren’t, what kind of boyfriend doesn't go to his girlfriend's parents' funeral?
"I'm sorry, Dean. I- I don't know why I said that out loud", she took her injured hand away from his and placed the tips of her fingers on her temples, rubbing lightly. She didn’t want his pity. She wasn’t sure of why she shared that particular story with him, but she was regretting it now.
"No, it's fine. It's not okay that he wasn't there. Or that he ain't here", he added, standing by her side and leaning against the counter too.
"Yeah. But it’s ok. Thanks for saying that, though. Should we go outside?", she asked and forced a smile, deciding it was best to enjoy the night and forget about things that weren’t as good as she wanted.
Dean shrugged. "I wouldn't mind staying here talking to you for a bit more, but yeah, let's go".
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Another thing Dean would never forget was how easy and fun that night was.
Most of it was because of Maisie. She was such a good hostess, always making sure people were comfortable, well fed and with their cups full.
Her guests involved some friends and former colleagues, along with two cousins; no more than a dozen people. Everyone was nice and friendly, and Dean could tell Sam was enjoying being amongst people he knew outside the hunting world. For a moment, his mind wandered: how would life be if they were normal, 20-something dudes? Would they go to a lot of parties? Would Sam and Jess be married by now?
Despite the wandering thoughts, Dean was having fun too. Maisie included him in every conversation. He was the outsider, after all. She sat by his side and touched his hand and arm often, not letting him close himself off or feel intimidated by the group of Stanford’s nerds, as she was calling her friends, which made Dean chuckle.
As the night went on, Dean felt more and more drawn to her. Hell, he knew getting involved with someone who was in what it seemed like a complicated relationship was the fastest way to walk right into a huge problem. But he couldn’t care less this time. He wanted Maisie, and he had a feeling she might want him too.
So Dean flirted with her a few times, trying not to be too obvious. He didn’t want her thinking he was just trying to get laid, because he wasn’t. His first goal was to make her feel wanted and valued. He had a feeling Eric didn’t do that very often.
When the pizzas she'd ordered arrived, he got up from his seat and offered to help bringing them to the backyard.
"Thanks, Dean", she smiled at him, accepting the offer and assessing his face, trying to understand why he was being so nice.
"No worries, sweetheart".
The endearment made her blush. Maisie was finding it hard to believe Dean was real. He was too handsome for his own good. From the freckled skin to the dark blonde hair and the green eyes, he was damn perfect. Plus, he was funny and nice to everyone. She was fascinated with him.
Deciding she might as well enjoy the attention she wasn’t used to getting, she hooked her arm in his and led him to the front yard, where the delivery guy was waiting.
They grabbed the pizzas and went inside the house again. Dean waited while Maisie was looking for some paper plates.
“Ugh”, she complained, getting on her tiptoes so she could search inside a high cupboard, “I could’ve sworn those plates were somewhere in here”.
Smiling at her efforts to reach a door that was way too high for her height, Dean walked to her, extending his arm and easily retrieving the plates and handing them to Maisie.
She smiled and crossed her arms in front of her chest, which made Dean stare at her boobs for like two seconds. He couldn’t really help himself. She didn’t seem to notice, and was faking annoyance with the fact that he was so much taller than her.
“That was a little humiliating, Winchester, but thanks for the help”, she joked, taking the plates and patting his arm lightly.
He laughed. “Sure. What kind of man would I be if I saw a pretty lady in distress and had done nothing about it?”, Dean teased a little more, making her smile widen.
“What a gentleman!”, Maisie shook her head, motioning for him to follow her outside.
In the backyard, they placed the pizzas on a table at the corner and Maisie gave each guest a plate, inviting them to help themselves to the food. She and Dean grabbed a slice each and went back to sit at their previous chairs.
“Tell me, Dean”, she started, after swallowing a considerably big bite of her slice, “how are you single?”.
He stared at her with a raised eyebrow.
“I mean, don’t get me wrong”, she continued, noticing he was surprised with the sudden question. “You’re a nice, smart guy. You have a cool car - yes, I’ve seen her when you guys arrived, and Sam told me all about your Baby -,” she added when he smiled, pleased to know she noticed his most beloved possession, “and you’re obviously very good looking. And yet, you’re here, hanging out with your brother’s friend, in a party full of Law school nerds. Why aren’t you out there, at some cool bar, flirting with some tall, busty blonde?”. Maisie shook her head, honestly trying to find some explanation for why Dean was there, at her house, where he could literally be fooling around with any woman in town.
Dean chuckled, and Maisie found it cute how his ears turned red when she complimented him.
“Well, first of all, thanks. Second of all, don’t think so little of yourself. Sam told me you know what we do for a living”, he whispered the last part, getting closer to her, and his hot breath formed goosebumps on her skin. “So you also know we don’t usually go to normal parties. Fuck, who am I kidding? We never go to any party, period. That being said, it’s been fun hanging out with you and your friends. Especially with you. It’s nice to talk about normal stuff, being around normal people”, he shrugged, and she could see he was being honest. Maisie felt sorry for him. He had to face so many scary, dangerous things, and could never enjoy a break, something as simple as eating pizza and drinking beer with friends in the backyard.
“Also”, he continued talking, bringing her back from her thoughts, “I had my time with busty blondes in bars. Now I prefer to hang out with pretty girls who happen to have good taste in beer”. Dean winked at her, biting at his lower lip, gaze switching from her eyes to her lips, making Maisie feel her insides clench.
Damn, he’s hot, she thought.
“So, I guess the reason why I’m single, aside from the life I live, I mean, is that all the beautiful girls who just graduated are stuck with jerks for boyfriends”.
Maisie laughed, finding his unashamed flirtation amusing.
“I said you’re nice, smart and handsome, but I forgot the most important part: you’re funny too!”, she exclaimed, playfully punching his arm.
He smiled back, and she shook her head, looking down and becoming serious again.
“I broke up with Eric, Dean”, Maisie confessed, surprising Dean.
“Really?”
“Yeah. Earlier today, before you and Sam arrived, I texted him, because everyone else was already here, except for Eric. He texted me back ‘can’t make it, stuck at work’”, she chuckled, humorlessly. “The bastard didn’t even say he was sorry. So I paid him the same respect he paid me. I texted back, saying he shouldn’t bother showing up ever again, that I didn’t wanna see his face and it was all over between us. He never answered”, Maisie finished, taking a deep breath.
“I’m sorry it had to be like this, Maisie. But, for what’s worth, I think you did the right thing. He doesn’t deserve you”, Dean stated, green eyes staring into her dark ones, the intensity of his stare making her heart race.
“Our relationship was over way before today, to be honest. But thanks for saying that, Dean”.
“You’re welcome, sweetheart”.
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Around 11:30 P.M., people started to leave. Sam, Dean and one of Maisie’s cousins were the only ones still there.
Maisie was leaning against the table, chatting with her cousin and stealing glances at Sam and Dean. They were helping her put all the trash that was scattered around the backyard in a bag. Dean noticed she told something to the girl and pointed her chin in their direction, walking towards them a second later, towing the cousin by the girl’s hand.
“Sam”, Maisie called, making Sam get up from where he was crouched, picking up some plastic cups and dirty napkins from the floor.
“Can you do me a favor and drive Betty home? She lives on the other side of town with our aunt Theresa, who’s an old lady and can’t be alone for too long. Would you give her a ride, please, so she doesn’t have to wait for a cab?”, Maisie explained.
“Of course!”, Sam agreed immediately, looking at Dean, who was already fishing the car keys from the front pocket of his jeans. They both noticed that Maisie asked for Sam to give Betty a ride home, and not Dean, so she obviously wanted him to stay.
Sam caught the keys Dean tossed at him, and Dean watched the corners of his mouth turn up into a smirk. Sam didn’t say anything, but he knew his older brother well, and he also knew Maisie. He’d noticed their behavior the whole night and how they got along. Him driving Maisie’s cousin to the other side of town was the perfect excuse for them to be alone.
After Sam left with Betty and they were done cleaning up, Dean tied the trash bag and placed it on the side of the house. Maisie was waiting for him at the backdoor, holding some leftover pizza and the paper plates that weren’t used.
They both entered the small kitchen and Dean leaned against the counter, watching while she silently put everything back in its place.
"So", he started, getting her attention, "that was a good party".
"Thanks", Maisie replied, smiling. "I'm glad you guys came. I mean, I finally got to meet the famous Dean Winchester", she joked, that beautiful blush rising on her cheeks again.
He chuckled, lowering his head and scratching his neck. Maisie only knew Dean for a few hours and she already noticed the gesture meant he was nervous. She found it cute.
"Don't know about the famous part, but I'm glad I got to know you too", he stated while she walked to lean on the counter by his side.
"Yeah? What is it about me that made you glad to be here?", she asked, looking up at him through her thick lashes.
Dean decided to go along with her flirting. She was hot, sexy in a very particular way. She was small, with thick legs, wide hips and a round, ample ass. Her short hair made her look younger than she actually was, and the big rounded eyes added to it. All of that only added to the fact that she was sweet, kind, and funny.
“Huh, let’s see. You’re pretty impressive. I mean, you went through with college, became a lawyer, despite all the shit that happened in your life”, he pondered. “That alone is already awesome. Also ‘cause you’re obviously important to Sam. He wouldn’t come to anyone’s party. Thanks for being a good friend to my brother, by the way”. Dean took her injured hand in his, rubbing her fingers lightly with his thumb.
“You’re welcome”, she said in a low voice. “He’s a great dude”.
“Yeah, he is”, Dean agreed, the pride obvious in his tone. “Oh, how I wish all Sammy’s friends were as easy on the eyes as you are”, he shook his head and tsked, as if he was stating something very, very serious and upsetting.
That made her laugh out loud. She came closer to him, still chuckling, and raised her head to stare into his beautiful green eyes. Dean placed one hand on her cheek, thumb caressing her soft skin, while he kept the other hand on the counter, caging Maisie between his body and the furniture.
Her stare went to his lips and back to his eyes in a quick, almost imperceptible movement. She wanted to kiss him so badly. Her heart was racing, pounding against her chest.
She stood on her tiptoes to reach his face, and Dean slid his hand to the small of her back, supporting her and bringing her close to his body, when-
The sound of a loud honk startled them both, pulling them out of their lust haze.
“What the hell-?”, Maisie cursed, walking to the front door to see who was making such a loud noise that late at night.
Dean followed her to see a blue Prius parked in front of her house. The driver’s door opened widely and a guy got out of the car, stumbling.
“Eric?”, Maisie exclaimed, wide-eyed. “What the hell are you doing here? I told you not to come!”, she said while walking to him, doing her best to keep her voice down and not wake up the neighbors.
The guy came tripping on his own feet, raising his hands as a peace offering. “I know, darling, I saw your text. But I wanted to apologize. I was such a fool-”
“No, no, no”, Maisie interrupted him, raising her own hand to stop Eric mid-speech. “I won’t accept your apology this time, Eric. Just- just go home. You’re obviously drunk, I’m gonna call you a cab”, she turned her back to him, wanting to go inside the house and make the call, but he grabbed her arm, making her stop.
“I’m not going anywhere until you talk to me, bitch!”, he yelled, his grip making it impossible for her to free herself of his hold.
“Let go of me!”, Maisie demanded, turning around and trying to pull her arm, but he grabbed the other one, yanking her closer.
“I won’t let you break up with me!”, he screamed, his face contorting in a mug.
Everything was happening so fast. Maisie tried to take a step back and kick Eric between his legs, but Dean was faster; her was by her side in a second, shoving Eric away and putting himself between the drunk man and Maisie.
“Get away from her, asshole!”, he threatened, pointing a finger to Eric’s face, his other hand splayed on the guy’s chest to stop him from getting to Maisie.
“And who the hell are you?”, Eric questioned, in a drunk drawl, looking from Dean to Maisie, who was rubbing her arms where he had left red marks on her fair skin.
“Doesn’t matter who I am, she asked you to leave, so leave!”, Dean pushed him again, making Eric stumble in the direction of the parked car.
“Oh, so you’re fucking her? Just ‘cause I didn’t come to her stupid party with her stupid nerd friends, she’s already spreading her legs to another dude? I always knew you were a slut!”, Eric spat on the driveway, turning around and running to his car when Dean got closer to him, ready to throw a punch.
“Let him go, Dean. He’s not worth it”, Maisie asked, placing a hand on his back, and Dean stopped.
“Jackass”, Dean said while the other man cowardly drove away, tires screeching.
Dean turned around and went to her, placing his hands on her shoulders and assessing the bruises in both her arms. “Jesus Christ, Maisie, he hurt you. Are you ok?”.
“I’m- I’m ok. God, Dean, he’s super drunk. He’s gonna kill himself in that car”, Maisie said, worried. Tears were running freely down her face.
Dean was much more worried about her than about that piece of crap. But he understood her concern, and didn’t want Maisie to be even more stressed out than she already was.
“Let’s go inside and call the police, sweetheart. We can let them know there’s a drunk dude driving around”, he offered, and she accepted, leaning into his embrace.
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Fifteen minutes later, they had talked to the police and reported Eric. Maisie refused to go to a police station and file a report on his assault. Dean argued, but she promised it was all over between them, that she wouldn’t let Eric be anywhere near her again.
“Besides, he’s probably gonna be arrested for DUI anyways”, she shrugged, not at all feeling sorry for her ex-boyfriend’s future problems with the police.
So Dean made her a cup of tea and they sat on the couch, him helping her put some ice on her bruised arms.
“You sure you’re ok?”, he asked for what had to be the tenth time.
“Yeah, I’ll be fine”, she answered, sniffing.
Dean watched her closer, just to make sure she wasn’t hiding anything.
“Hey, Maisie. Let me ask you something”, he started, and she nodded, signaling he could go ahead. “Has he ever- was he ever violent with you- before?”
She shook her head, but the fresh wave of tears in her eyes told Dean there was a “but” coming. “H-he broke a glass once, when he was really drunk, like today. We argued for the same reason: he wasn’t around when I needed him. I called him out for it, he got mad and threw a glass against the wall. But he never- put his hands on me like this before”, she explained.
Dean slid closer to her, gently catching her tears with his fingertips. “Good. I was afraid it wasn’t the first time he hurt you”.
“Yeah, no, he’s never done that before. Just, you know, didn’t show up, cheated on me and stuff like that”, she shrugged and rolled her eyes like it wasn’t a big deal.
“He cheated on you? Just when I thought he couldn’t be a bigger pile of shit”, Dean shook his head, jaw clenching.
She sighed deeply before answering. “He cheated once, that I know of. And I was stupid enough to forgive him and let him come back”.
“But- I mean, don’t get me wrong here, but… why haven’t you told him to fuck off then?”
Maisie chuckled at Dean’s question. “I guess I was so used to having him around… I mean, we started dating in my first year of college. Things were good between us, as far as I know, except for one or two things here and there. Then, my parents died and he didn’t come to their service. We had an argument that day, and it was the first time I thought about breaking up with him. My friends warned me, Sam included, but I was so scared of being alone, Dean”, she confessed, looking him in the eyes for the first time in a while. “I had just lost the two most important people in my life. I had no close family around, aside from Betty and aunt Theresa. I didn’t wanna lose Eric too, so I thought I should forgive him, make an effort on behalf of our relationship. It was stupid of me, I know”, she finished, covering her face with her hands, regretting her past decision.
“Hey, hey, no”, Dean called, reaching for her, circling her shoulders with one arm so he could give her a side hug. Maisie melted, leaning her cheek on his chest and exhaling a shaky sigh.
He kissed the top of her head, running his hand up and down her back. “You did nothing wrong. Sorry if my question made you think you did. It’s just- you’re such a great girl. I was having a hard time understanding why you were with a guy like him. But I see it now. I know it sucks to feel alone, like you have no one to be your home. I hope you know you don’t need him, Mais”.
Dean parted from her and placed his large hand on her chin, lifting her face up to look her in the eyes. “You’re beautiful, funny, smart, and you have friends all around that love you, sweetheart”, he caressed her jawline with his thumb, the rough pads of his fingers sending a shiver down her spine.
“I like when you say that”, she confessed, smiling under the tears.
Dean raised his eyebrows at her. “When I say what?”, he asked with a mischievous smirk.
“When you call me sweetheart. And ‘Mais’. Nobody ever called me that. I like the nickname. And I like hearing you say ‘sweetheart’”, she blushed furiously, to Dean’s amusement.
“Oh, good to know it makes you blush so prettily”, Dean teased, taking her hand in his and intertwining their fingers. He led their joined hands to his lips, kissing her knuckles softly, those green eyes never leaving her face.
Maisie’s teary eyes darkened. She wanted him so badly it was overwhelming, but it wasn’t the right moment.
“Dean, I-”
“Sorry”, he interrupted, letting go of her hand and running his fingers through his hair, spiking the soft strands even more. “I just thought- that you and I-”.
“Dean, hear me out”, she placed a finger over his plump lips, effectively shushing him. “I want this to happen, whatever this is, between you and me. I want… to get to know you. If you want to, that is. But I need to make sure it has nothing to do with Eric. With me being in need of comfort, or company, or about you protecting me from him - which I’m thankful for, by the way. I broke up with him and I’m fine with that, ready to forget all about him. Still, I need some time to gather my thoughts, to really understand how I’m feeling, what I’m feeling”, she paused there, grabbing her mug from the coffee table and taking a sip of tea. “I’m probably being so ridiculous right now, but I… I felt something for you the minute I saw you, Dean”, she gulped, scared about how he would react to her confession. If Maisie wasn’t always so rational, she would’ve probably taken things further with Dean that night. But she couldn’t do that. It wasn’t fair with either of them. Still, she knew, in her heart and mind, that she’d never met anyone who made her feel like that before.
Adorably, his ears turned red again. “Bashful” wasn’t an adjective she would use to describe Dean right away - especially because he flirted with her two minutes after they met. But she could already tell he was a complex character, and that was another thing about Sam’s older brother that drew her to him.
“I understand. I also felt something when I saw you earlier today… actually, when Sam showed me a picture of you, I was like ‘damn, she’s gorgeous’”, he revealed, grinning, and Maisie blushed with the compliment.
“Thank you, Dean. That’s very nice of you to say”, she replied, placing her hand over his on the couch. He turned his palm up and laced their fingers again.
“It’s true, though”, he shrugged, and they just sat there for a few minutes, staring at their joined hands until the sound of Dean’s phone made them jump slightly.
He got the phone from the coffee table. “Sam wants to know if he should come back to pick me up”, Dean read the text, looking up at Maisie with a questioning look.
She stared back at him with those big, doe eyes, and he immediately knew he should stay. Understandably, she wasn’t very comfortable with being alone.
“So, is it ok if I stay?”, Dean asked, making sure he got her right.
“I- I can’t ask more from you, Dean. You’ve done so much for me today-”
“No, no, no”, he interrupted, squeezing her hand in reassurance, “I’d rather stay, if that’s ok with you. I’ll feel better knowing you’re ok. I’ll tell Sam to go back to the motel and pick me up in the morning”. Dean smiled and Maisie smiled back, relieved.
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“I can sleep on the couch, you know”, Dean said for the second time, while walking behind Maisie.
“No way, I have a guest room. I mean, it’s not much, it’s just the room that used to be mine, since now I sleep in the room that was my parents’”, she explained, opening the door and entering her former bedroom.
Three walls were painted in a pale lilac, while the fourth one, behind the bed, was purple. The marks on the painting signaled that there were posters or pictures glued there, probably from Maisie’s teenage years.
It was a spacious room with a big, comfy bed. Dean couldn’t even remember the last time he slept in one of those. He was glad for the comfort, but wished the circumstances were different. He wished Maisie didn’t need to be kept safe from a piece of crap like Eric.
“You think you’re gonna be ok in here?”, she interrogated, interrupting his thoughts.
“Hell, yeah”, he said, walking to the bed. “Sweetheart, if you saw the places Sam and I usually crash… this is a freaking palace!”
Maisie chuckled. “Good. There’s some blankets in the closet and towels, if you wanna shower. I’m gonna go to bed now. My room is next door, so just knock if you need something, ok? And make yourself at home”, she said, opening her arms and approaching to give Dean a hug.
“Sleep tight, sweetheart. I’ll be fine”.
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The first time they shared a bed was forever ingrained into Dean’s brain.
Dean woke up with a knock on his door. He listened for a second, just to make sure he wasn’t dreaming or imagining things.
Then he heard the knock again, followed by Maisie’s voice calling his name almost in a whisper. “Dean, can I come in?”
He sat up on the bed and told her to come in. She immediately opened the door, looking scared and pale.
“What’s wrong?”, Dean asked, patting on the bed by his side, signaling for her to sit.
“I- I had a nightmare, Dean”, she sat and he could see she was shaking. He held her cold hand, listening attentively. “He- he came for me again. I- I don’t wanna… Can I stay with you?”, she asked, looking up at him with tears in her beautiful eyes.
“Of course. Of course, sweetheart. Come here”, he said, laying on the bed and stretching his arm for her to fit by his side. She lifted the covers and laid down with her head against his chest, legs slotted close to his.
Dean engulfed her in his warmth, noticing she looked even shorter laying by his side, scared and vulnerable. He silently cursed Eric for making her feel like this.
Placing his arm around her waist, he pulled her closer, lips slightly brushing the top of her head.
“It’s gonna be ok, Maisie. I won’t let anything happen to you”.
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Dean didn’t know what woke him up the next morning. But, before even opening his eyes, he felt a warm, soft body against his. His mind filled the blanks in seconds, reminding him of everything that happened the day before, and how he ended up being someone’s big spoon.
Opening his eyes slowly, he didn’t dare to move an inch. His left arm was around Maisie’s waist, fingers laced with hers once more while she held his hand against her stomach. Somehow, both of her legs were trapped between his, slightly bended knees making her perfectly round butt fit to his front, enticingly close to his crotch.
Well, now he was very awake. Every inch of his body was fully awake. He wasn’t exactly used to waking up with a woman in his arms. It happened before, obviously, but he usually didn’t sleep, sleep with them. They would do the deed and he would leave. Or they would. So, yeah, Dean was finding it hard (pun intended) to know what to do to keep that sweet, sweet woman from thinking he was a perv.
He took his time appreciating the sensual curve of Maisie’s neck, her round, soft shoulders, and the dip of her waist, leading to her ample hips.
Behave, man. A voice in his head, that sounded remarkably like Sam’s, scolded him.
A few minutes passed and Dean remained still, listening to Maisie’s deep breaths. And then she started slowly moving, slowly waking up from what he hoped had been a restful sleep.
“Hmm”, she hummed, stretching her body and consequently pushing it closer to Dean’s.
“Morning”, he greeted, holding his breath.
“Morning”, Maisie replied in a cute, sleepy voice. “Sorry for invading your personal space”, she continued, gently trying to untangle from him.
“No need to apologize. I enjoyed it a lot”, he affirmed, smiling when she turned her neck to look at him.
“Me too. Thank you for staying, Dean”, she said, reaching to give him a kiss on the cheek.
“Anytime, sweetheart”.
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The first time they kissed was totally unexpected.
They had breakfast together and Sam came to pick Dean up at around 10 AM.
Dean had promised Maisie they would come back to visit her as soon as possible, and made her promise to call and text so he would know she was ok. He also told her he planned to go to the police station and check if the cops really got to Eric.
Maisie walked him to the door when they heard the Impala’s honk.
“Ok, so I made you guys sandwiches for the trip, and some extra coffee”, she handed Dean a paper bag with the food, which he gladly accepted. “I also want to give you something else, as a thank you”.
“You don’t have to thank me, Mais-”, Dean started, but she interrupted by standing on her tiptoes and kissing on the lips, taking him by surprise. He quickly recovered, placing a hand on her cheek, deepening the kiss a little and guiding her into it, sliding his lower lip over hers and lightly sucking it.
When they separated, she was flushed. “Wow. You were the one who was supposed to win the prize, but I guess I was the lucky one”, Maisie smiled, lips tingling.
“I hope this is enough to convince you to let me come back…”, Dean said, scratching his neck.
“I cannot wait for you to come back. Now, let’s go so I can say goodbye to Sam”, she held his hand and guided him through the door in the direction of the Impala, parked on the street.
Dean was already missing her. It was hard for him to explain even to himself, but he wanted to protect Maisie, to keep her safe. At the same time, her fierceness and determination, the way she held her head up high, showing everyone she could kick their asses, Dean’s included, made him want to push her against the nearest wall and have his way with her in a not-so-sweet manner.
One thing Dean was sure of: he wanted more of that. More of her. He didn’t know when he was coming back, but he had every intention to keep his promise. He hoped his crazy life would allow him.
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38 days later
When came back, things didn’t go the way he expected.
“Hey, Sammy”.
“Yeah”.
“So, I texted Maisie yesterday and asked if we could visit her. We’re done with this job and it’s not far from her. She said yes and invited us for lunch. Is that ok with ya?” Dean questioned without taking his eyes off the road.
“Sure”, the younger Winchester replied, proceeding to look at his brother with a smirk. “So you and Maisie have been in touch since you met her, huh?”
Dean glanced at him and shrugged. “Yeah, I mean… I was there when everything with Eric The Douchebag happened, so I kept checking to make sure she’s ok. Is that a problem?”, he challenged, raising an eyebrow.
“Not at all”, Sam’s smirk got wider. “But if you like her, you can tell me, you know?”, he provoked, knowing Dean would straight away deny having feelings for the girl.
“What? I don’t like her like that!”, was Dean’s immediate answer, earning a chuckle from Sam.
“But why wouldn’t you like her? Is there something wrong with her?”, the younger brother continued, pushing Dean’s buttons and knowing he would end up telling the truth.
“There’s absolutely nothing wrong with her. She’s- she’s hot, funny, smart. She has great style, and she smells so good, man, and those big-”
“Ok, ok, ok!”, Sam interrupted, immediately regretting making Dean talk. “TMI, man. Let’s just go have lunch with Maisie”.
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3 hours later
When the Impala entered Maisie’s street, the Winchesters saw the police car and the ambulance parked in front of her house. Their hunter senses immediately went on full alert.
“Oh, fuck”, cursed Dean, parking on the other side of the street and taking the fake FBI badge Sam was already handing to him.
They both got out of the car and Dean was the first one to spot Maisie sitting on the back of the ambulance, a blanket wrapped around her shoulders while a paramedic finished assessing a cut on the left side of her forehead.
“You go check on her, I’ll talk to the cops”, said Sam, and Dean nodded, walking in the direction of the injured woman.
“Maisie”, he called while approaching the vehicle, his heart racing from both worry and relief to see she didn’t look seriously hurt.
“Dean!”, she exclaimed, getting up and throwing herself in his arms. Thankfully, that was the exact moment when the paramedic finished placing the dressing on her cut, otherwise she would have knocked the poor man out of the way.
“Sweetheart, what happened?”, he asked, hugging her tight and caressing her hair.
Maisie started crying the minute Dean finished his question.
“Hey, hey, it’s ok, you don’t have to say anything. I’m here now, Sam’s here. I- We won’t let anything happen to you”, he shushed while she sobbed.
Dean took her hand and led her back to sit in the ambulance. Maisie was crying too much to speak anyways, so he looked at the paramedic, the silent question of what had happened evident on his concerned features.
“She was knocked out. Luckily, she was fast enough to dial 911 first, so they were able to get the guy on his way out. She’s gonna be fine. Just make sure she gets some rest and changes the dressing tomorrow, okay?”, the man explained, and Dean nodded and thanked him.
He didn’t need any further explanation to know who the guy who knocked her out was. Eric, for sure. Dean just knew from the way Maisie was acting, with how scared she looked. He felt rage rising inside his chest. He wanted to kill the motherfucker with his own hands. Break his teeth so he would learn how to behave like a decent person…
He kept holding Maisie in his arms and, as she started to calm down, Dean shoved his murderous thoughts down and directed his full attention to her.
“What do you wanna do, sweetheart? Do you wanna wait for the cops to finish with your house and go inside? Or do you wanna go somewhere else?”
“So- somewhere else, Dean, p-please. I don’t wanna go back in there. Not now”, she said between sobs.
Dean felt his heart breaking into a million pieces. If I get my hands on that bastard…
“Ok, let me just go tell Sam we’re going to a motel close to here, is that alright? Then you can shower and get some rest”, he questioned, looking into her brown eyes with gentleness and reassurance.
Maisie nodded and Dean placed a light kiss on her forehead. He walked to the front entrance of the girl’s house, where Sam was talking with two cops.
“Gentlemen”, he greeted. “Agent Perry, can I speak to you for a moment, please?”, he told Sam, using their fake FBI agents’ names.
The brothers walked away from the police officers, and Dean turned around to face Sam.
“I’m taking Maisie outta here, man. She doesn’t wanna stay. We’re going to that motel on the road that’s closer to here, the half-decent one. Did they tell you what the hell happened?”
“Yeah”, Sam let out a deep sigh and shook his head. “Eric broke in early in the morning, Maisie was still sleeping. He was drunk and screaming that they should get back together. She said no and told him to leave, so he started to lock all the doors and windows to stop her from escaping. The idiot was so drunk that he didn’t even realize she had her phone and was already dialing 911-”.
“That’s my girl”, Dean interrupted, proudly.
Sam chuckled. “Well, yeah, she was lucky they were fast, because when he came back to her room, he saw her putting the phone down and knocked her out with a plant vase. She passed out and the cops got him trying to escape on foot, just around the corner. He’s facing assault and breaking and entering charges. Considering he already has a record for DUI, he’s gonna be busy for a while”.
“Good. Good. Okay, so we’re leaving. Will you meet us at the motel once you’re done here?”, Dean asked, knowing Sam would take care of everything so he could be with Maisie.
“Yeah, yeah, go ahead. I’ll see if I can have a little chat with Eric at the police station and tell him to stay the fuck away from Maisie, if he manages to get out of jail anytime soon”, Sam said.
“Thanks, brother. Give him your worst”.
Looking back at Maisie and seeing that the cops were asking her some more questions, Dean took the time to go inside and get her a change of clothes. He didn’t know exactly what she would like to wear, but he grabbed a pair of sweatpants, t-shirts and underwear, putting everything inside a bag.
He noticed the broken vase on the floor of her room, where the cops were working, photographing and cataloging the crime scene. Giving a deep sigh, he did his best to control that rage again. Sam would make sure to let Eric know he better stay away. Now, Dean had to focus on taking care of Maisie. That was the most important task.
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On their way to the motel, they stopped quickly at a diner so Dean could get some burgers for lunch. Maisie kept saying she wasn’t hungry, but he would try to convince her to eat, eventually.
At the motel’s front desk, he asked for two rooms: one with two single beds for him and Sam, and another with just one bed, for Maisie.
“Okay, honey, the two singles I can provide, but the only other room available is with a queen size bed, is that ok?”, the nice old lady at the front desk asked.
“Yeah, it’s fine”, Dean answered.
He paid, got the keys, and went back to the Impala, where Maisie was waiting for him.
“All set, sweetheart. Should we go inside?”, he questioned, leaning down to look through the passenger window.
She nodded and they entered the first room, hers, together.
It was simple but apparently clean, recently renovated even. Dean was glad for it.
“Ok, Mais. I brought you some clothes, I’m gonna leave them here in case you wanna change. What do you wanna do now? Eat? Shower? Sleep? Talk to me?”, he offered, not trying to pressure her, but knowing it was good to push her into moving, doing something, instead of sinking into fear and sadness.
“I’m- I think I’m gonna take a shower first. Would you wait for me here?”, she asked, face bloated and stained with tears.
“Of course, sweetheart. I’m only leaving if you tell me to”, he winked at her, making himself comfortable on a chair at the corner of the room.
Ten minutes later, Maisie left the bathroom in an oversized t-shirt that reached the middle of her thighs. Dean couldn’t help but look at her smooth legs.
“Alright, should I leave now, or…?”, he asked, standing up and awkwardly trying to focus on her face and not on the fact that she looked so good wearing so little clothing.
“No”, said Maisie, walking up to Dean and stopping him from leaving by putting a hand on his chest. “I want you to stay with me, Dean”.
He looked at her hand splayed on his chest and then into her face, his heavy breathing revealing his uneasiness.
Maisie looked into his eyes, her own glistening with tears. “Thank you, Dean, again, for being here for me”, she said, sliding her small hand from his chest to his forearm, the delicate touch making him bite his lower lip.
“You don’t have to thank me, sweetheart. I’m sorry I wasn’t here earlier to stop what happened this morning, I-“
“Hey”, she stopped him again, this time taking her hand to his cheek, enjoying the feeling of his stubble against her soft fingers, “There’s no way you could’ve known what would happen”. To Dean’s surprise, Maisie took a step closer to him, still caressing his face, leaving no space between their bodies. “I need to confess, Dean, that I’ve been thinking about you all the time since we’ve first met”, she tangled her fingers through the hair on the back of Dean’s neck, standing on her tiptoes and giving him a peck on the lips. “I’ve been thinking about how it would feel to be with you”, she continued, her lips a mere inch away from him, her warm breath pumping Dean’s blood right between his legs. “How it would be to have you so close, holding me, with nothing between us”. He felt her hardened nipples through her t-shirt and his, touching his abdomen. “What about you? Have you thought about me?”, she asked.
Once again, Dean’s resolution was hanging by a thread. Maisie was making very clear what she wanted, and Dean was torn between giving in to his own desire, and the small rational part of his brain telling him she was responding to trauma in an unhealthy way. “Every fucking second, sweetheart” he answered, honestly. The shine of lust in her eyes was what broke his attempt of being a better man. He held her face between his hand and leaned down, giving her a kiss that started tame, but then turned messy and full of want when he parted her lips with the tip of his tongue, making her moan into his mouth, responding with the same intensity.
Dean maneuvered them so he could sit on the bed and have her on his lap, legs around his waist. Running a hand over the smooth skin of her thigh, he stopped when his fingers were already under her t-shirt. Maisie pushed her breasts against his chest and sighed, while his lips went from her mouth to her collarbone, nibbling and sucking. She held his head as close as possible, trying everything to prevent him from stopping. Between her legs, she felt him hardening under his jeans, and she pressed herself further onto his lap.
“Fuck, Dean”, she moaned, and it woke him up from his arousal-induced trance.
“Mais. Maisie, we need to stop”, Dean asked, pulling away from her lips and closing his eyes to try to gather some self-control.
“Why?”, she asked, trying to capture his mouth in another kiss.
“‘Cause you’re not thinking straight”, Dean said. God knows how much he wanted to keep going. She smelled so good, she looked fantastic like that, freshly showered, with nothing on but her underwear and that oversized t-shirt. But he cared too much about her to take things further at that moment. She’d just been through a terrible trauma and, as a pro at avoiding feelings and acting like nothing wrong had happened, Dean knew exactly what she was doing.
“I don’t wanna think about anything, Dean”, she tried again, holding his plaid flannel by the collar and pushing it off of his shoulders.
“Ok, you don’t have to”, he insisted, gently taking her hands off of his shirt, getting up and sliding her body down to the bed.
Maisie felt ashamed. She hugged her knees and scooched up to lean against the headboard, embarrassed and humiliated by her behavior. Dean sat back next to her and gently caressed her cheek with his knuckles.
“Hey. It’s not that I don’t want you. You could feel how much I do, right?”, he said, the corner of his mouth lifting in a shy smile.
She raised her head to look at him with tears pooling in her eyes, and nodded almost imperceptibly, cheeks flushed.
“I want you so bad, sweetheart. I just don’t want you to regret this. Don’t do this to forget about what happened. Do this for you. Do you get what I’m trying to say?”, Dean asked, his other hand now placed protectively on her knee.
Maisie nodded again. “I’m- I’m sorry, Dean”, she said, and the tears started to run freely down her face.
“No, no, no, you have nothing to be sorry for”. He went closer to her, placing one arm around her shoulders. “Everything is gonna be fine, ok? Don’t worry”, he reassured, kissing the top of her head and pulling her to his chest. Maisie wrapped her arms around him, letting Dean’s warmth heal her wounds.
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It was already dark outside when Sam finally got to the motel. After their talk, Dean convinced Maisie to eat and she finally fell asleep.
Sam knocked on the door and Dean went outside to talk to him, trying to not disturb Maisie’s sleep.
“Hey, took you long enough”, Dean greeted. “How was it?”
Sam took a deep breath. He looked tired. “Well, the idiot wanted to give me an attitude, but I kept the FBI agent cover. I told him Maisie had friends in the Bureau, and if he tried something funny again I would make sure his ass would stay in jail forever. It also helped that I’m much taller than him”, he smirked, making Dean chuckle.
“Thanks, man. He actually deserves life in jail for what he put her through”, Dean stated, looking inside the room through a crack on the door.
“How is she doing?”, Sam asked, pointing to the room with his head.
“She’s… she’s ok, considering. I managed to get her to eat, but she didn’t want to talk about what happened, so I’m giving her some space. She’s asleep now. Here’s the key to the room next door. I’m gonna stay until Maisie wakes up. I don’t want her to find herself alone and think I left or something…”, Dean explained.
“Okay, yeah, you’re right. I’m gonna try and sleep a bit too. But call me if you guys need anything, ok?”, Sam assured and Dean agreed, going back inside the room.
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It was almost midnight when Maisie woke up. The first thing she did after opening her eyes was look for Dean. He was sitting in the chair at the corner of the room, soundly asleep. His head was leaning on his left shoulder in a way that would surely make his neck hurt like a son of a bitch later.
Maisie got up and went to him, gently shaking his arm.
“Dean? Wake up”.
“Huh?”, he groaned, immediately opening his eyes and sitting straight.
“Hey, didn’t wanna scare you. You should come to bed”, she said, noticing how cute he looked even groggy with sleep.
The barely-awake state didn’t stop Dean from noticing Maisie told him to come to bed and not to go to bed. But he didn’t want to assume anything.
“Well, Sam’s back, so I’m just gonna join him at the room next door”, he got up and rubbed his sleepy eyes.
Maisie averted his eyes and blushed. “I- I was hoping you would stay…”
“I can also do that”, Dean reassured, smiling at her. He didn’t want her to think he was trying to avoid her. He would definitely feel better staying and knowing he would be close in case she needed him. “I’m gonna make myself a bed next to you and-”
“No”, she held his arm, stopping him from going in the direction of the tiny closet next to the bathroom. “The bed is big enough for both of us”, she blushed deeper.
“Are you sure?”, Dean questioned.
“I’m sure, Dean. I’ll behave, I promise”, she joked, in an attempt to dismiss the lingering embarrassment.
“C’mon, I didn’t mean it like that”, Dean started. “I’m just trying to say you don’t have to worry about me, I’m fine sleeping on the floor”.
“But I’m not”, she shot back. “I’ll be fine if you sleep on the bed”. She would never feel comfortable asking him to stay and then make him sleep on the floor.
“Ok”, he said. “I’m just gonna wash my face and be back in a second then”.
Dean left the bathroom a few minutes later, holding his jeans, plaid shirt and belt on one hand. He was down to his black t-shirt and boxers in the same color. Maisie was already in bed, laying on her side, covers pulled up to her shoulders.
“Is it ok if I sleep in my underwear?”, he asked, leaving his clothes on the chair and walking to the opposite side of the bed.
“Of course”, she answered, trying to sound casual while not at all feeling like that.
Even though they had slept in the same bed at her house the first time they met, it was dark and Dean was under the covers, so she didn’t really have the chance to see him. This time though, she had a full view: strong, thick, slightly bowed legs, firm and round ass, beautiful forearms speckled with freckles, wide shoulders. Maisie felt a tug in her lower belly. If she was attracted to him before, now she was even more sure she wanted to have her way with the fine man that was Dean Winchester.
But Maisie closed her eyes and focused on falling asleep and, ideally, stay away from Dean. Maybe he was right and she did chose the wrong moment to make a move, but the feeling of rejection was still very present.
Feeling the bed dip and the covers move when Dean was laying down, she closed her eyes and was about to wish him a good night, when she felt his arm sneaking around her middle, pulling her closer. She gasped in surprise. They were close enough for her to feel his warm breath on her ear.
“Is that ok?”, Dean whispered. “I kinda like being your big spoon”.
“It’s perfect. Good night, Dean”, she answered, thinking she could get used to being wrapped in him.
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When the pair woke up the next morning, they had changed positions and were facing each other instead of spooning. Maisie’s arms were tucked to her front, against Dean’s chest, while his arm was over her hip.
Maisie was the first to open her eyes. Dean was sleeping peacefully, mouth slightly opened. A lump started to form in her throat when everything that had happened the day before came back to her memory. It seemed like ages ago, but the fear she felt when Eric broke into her house crept inside her, making her stomach drop with the thought of what could have happened if she didn’t act fast enough.
She took a deep breath and focused on Dean’s face. His perfect face. Her heart skipped a beat with the thought of kissing him. She knew she was falling in love with the guy. They literally talked every day since the day they met, and things with him just flowed easily, so uncompromising. The idea of being with someone who would be there for her was all she ever wished for.
When Dean stopped her from taking things further the day before, she understood that it looked like she wanted sex as a coping mechanism, but he was wrong. She really wanted him because of him, not because of Eric. The timing was bad, yeah, but she was sure about what she wanted. She still felt embarrassed though, especially because maybe she got it wrong and Dean didn’t want the same as she did.
As if he could hear her thinking, he started to slowly wake up. He opened his eyes a little and smiled when he saw her watching him.
“Hey”.
“Hey, you”, she replied in a whisper.
“How are you feeling?”, he asked, and Maisie held her breath when his fingers started to lightly caress her hip.
“I’m- I’m gonna be fine, I guess”.
“I know you will”, Dean reassured, and leaned forward to place a feathery kiss on the tip of her nose and a longer one on her lips. He wanted to show her he wasn’t against being intimate with her. God, no. It was actually the exact opposite. He really wanted them to be as intimate as possible. The thought had crossed his mind more times than he could count since they met. But he didn’t want their first time to have anything to do with her ex-boyfriend. He wanted to be more to her than a coping mechanism, and that thought was scaring him to death, because he had probably been a coping mechanism to multiple women. And, if he was being honest, they were his sometimes too. In his defense, he never promised any kind of commitment or long-term relationship to any of them. And that was always fine and fulfilling both for him and for the women, he made sure of that. But, with Maisie, he wanted more than one night. He wanted to keep coming back to her as much as she would allow him to.
She interrupted his thoughts by calling his name.
“What, sweetheart?”
“I’m sorry again about yesterday. I’m sorry if I crossed the line and moved too fast,-”, she started babbling, nervously looking anywhere but in his eyes, her anxious thoughts taking the best of her.
“Hey”, Dean placed his hand on her cheek softly. “You didn’t do anything I didn’t want you to do. I really wanna be with you, Mais. But I want this to be right for us, for you. I need you to be sure this, us, has nothing to do with-”
It was her turn to stop him. “I understand, Dean. But yesterday was not a response to my trauma. I did what I did because I really, really like you. And, honestly…”, her voice broke, “I just need you to show me that there’s good and kindness in this world, not just loss, and pain, and loneliness-”
Dean didn’t let her finish. He placed his large hands on her cheeks and pulled her face closer, giving her a sensual open-mouthed kiss that took her breath away. Licking and tasting her thoroughly, he draw a throaty moan out of her. Once the kiss was over, Dean’s arm went around her waist, pushing her by the lower back so their bodies would get closer, giving her small pecks on the lips. Maisie’s hand was on his shoulder, and it descended to his bicep and his back, feeling the muscles moving under the freckled skin. She threw a leg over his hip, and Dean couldn’t hold back anymore.
“You sure about this, sweetheart?”, he asked, plump lips now on the curve of her neck.
“Yeah, I’m sure. Now kiss me again", the girl demanded, rolling on her back and pulling him with her, lips already glued to his. He leaned over her, positioning himself on top and pulling her leg further up around his waist so he could fit between her thighs.
She pushed her hands under his t-shirt, running her fingers over his strong, firm body, while Dean’s lips were on her neck, his hands on her hips, slowly pulling her panties down. Maisie lifted her butt from the bed to help, and Dean threw the panties away without stopping kissing her.
“Take your shirt off, Dean”, she demanded, and he quickly obeyed. Maisie stared at him towering over her, his toned body looking godly under the dim lights of the room. “You’re so handsome”, she praised, stunned by the Winchesters genes.
Dean smirked and blushed shyly, having no time to reply once Maisie pulled him by the hem of his boxers to resume his previous position. The kissing was back on, and Dean pulled her oversized t-shirt off, leaving her fully naked.
Even though Maisie was not insecure about her body, Dean was staring at her so intently, in a way that the other guys in her life never did, as if he was memorizing her. It made her feel a little self-conscious.
"Dean? What’s wrong?", she asked, voice barely there, as if she was afraid of the answer. Maisie faced Eric’s judgement before and did her best to not be affected by it, but she wasn’t ready to hear any snark comments about her appearance at this vulnerable moment.
Dean’s chest was heaving and his eyes were taking in the woman laid down in front of him. Wetting his lower lip with the tip of his tongue and shaking his head lightly, he ran a hand from her waist to her under boob, pupils dilated. “Nothing’s wrong, I was just thinking… that Eric dude is so damn stupid".
“What?”, she furrowed her brows in surprise, not at all expecting him to bring up Eric when they were about to have sex.
"Look at you, Maisie. You look incredible. If you were mine, I would do anything to keep you", he kissed her then, lowering his body over hers until there was no space between them, his naked chest warm against hers.
Maisie’s heart skipped a beat with Dean’s words. Eric was never one to praise her in bed, or in any occasion, if she was being honest. With Dean, it was not only what he was saying, but also the fact that she could see the lust in his green eyes, in the way he was breathing, and from the hardness between his legs pressing against her center, making her wet.
She sneaked a hand between them, reaching for Dean’s boxers, rushing to have no barrier between them. As if he was again reading her thoughts, he guided her hand to the front of his underwear, pressing it against the outline of his hard cock. “You’re making me so hard, sweetheart”, he breathed, eyelids heaving as Maisie pulled the piece of clothing down his thighs, finally revealing his veiny, thick cock, to her sight.
“Can I touch you?”, she asked, placing her palm in his lower belly, feeling his muscles twitch under her touch.
“Yeah”, Dean answered, watching her every move.
She slid her hand down and closed her fist around his lengthy cock, caressing it, feeling it heavy and warm. “Fuck, Dean, you’re hot as fuck”.
He chuckled with the compliment. “Right back atcha, baby. Lemme touch you too”, Dean said, already running his hand on the inside of her thigh, fingers gently probing her center. She lowered her head to watch him use his fingers to spread her lips and gather the slick there, using it to lubricate his cock and make her hand slide easily on the length.
Maisie moaned with his touch, and Dean took it as an incentive to bring his hand back to her pussy and push one finger inside while he kissed her again. They touched each other for a few more minutes, until Dean placed his hand on top of hers, making her stop the up and down movements that were driving him completely insane.
“Mais, I need you to stop”, he asked, pulling back and watching her face, cheeks flushed, lips swollen from his kisses and bites, looking absurdly sexy.
“What’s wrong?”, she questioned, concerned.
“Nothing ‘s wrong, it’s just if you keep doing that I’m not gonna last”, he confessed, crawling over Maisie again, kissing her deeply, using one hand to support his weight and the other to caress her plump breast, rubbing the nipple with his thumb. “I wanna be inside you. Wanna make you cum so hard you’re gonna forget every jackass that didn’t fuck you as good you deserve”, he whispered against her lips, letting go of her breast and running his hand down her body until he reached her center again. He then held his cock and ran it through her lips, not really entering her but coating himself with her slick even more, bumping her clit and making Maisie moan with the feeling. “Do you want that?”, he asked, teasing.
“Yes, yes, please Dean, just fuck me already”, she whined, eager to know how he would feel inside of her.
Dean pushed the tip of his cock in her entrance, feeling her already stretching to accommodate him. He hissed at the feeling of warmth and wetness, her nails digging at his shoulders as he entered her slowly, with in and out movements, inch by inch, taking turns between kissing her and sucking her nipples, as Maisie slid one hand down his back to push his hips, silently asking him to go all the way in.
With him completely sheathed inside her, Maisie was feeling so full and stretched, to the point where she knew it would hurt a little once he started moving. Dean was so thick, she found it hot how much she was struggling to take him. He was making her feel things she wasn't used to and, at this point, she just wanted him to fuck her senseless.
He seemed to have a different idea, though, judging by how his hips were completely still.
"Dean", she called, running one hand through his soft hair, "can- can you move? I need you to move", she pleaded, voice strangled with need.
"In a minute, baby. Just need to get used to you. You have no idea how good you feel", he explained, grunting and moving a few inches out of her, teeth clenched. He could feel her muscles snuggling him so much he was afraid he was gonna come, but the need to drive himself deeper inside of her was too much. He did exactly that, and judging by Maisie’s gasp, she felt as good as he did.
“You feel amazing”, he praised again, pulling out and pushing in harder this time, and Maisie’s moans were increasing according to the force he was putting into fucking her. Each one of Dean’s thrusts made her body move further up on the bed. He was hitting her sweet spot with perfect aim and, as he pushed one of her legs further up, her clit started pressing on his pelvis. She had lost the capacity to form words, turning into a moaning mess, digging her fingers into the meaty part of Dean’s thick shoulders, trying her best to keep her eyes open to watch his beautiful face contort with pleasure every time her walls constricted around his length.
Dean slowed down his movements, wanting to last and drag his and Maisie’s pleasure further. “Is it good, baby girl?”, he asked between ragged breaths, kissing and nibbling her jaw and neck.
“S-so good. So- so f-full”, she managed to say, fingers travelling down to his plump ass, “so deep, Dean”.
“Yeah? I can feel this perfect pussy squeezing so hard around me, sweetheart. Are you about to cum?”, he continued, hand sliding to her mound, pressing down as his thumb found her clit, making Maisie’s hips jump from the bed.
“Oh, yes! Dean, I’m-“
“Come, baby, come for me”. He pinned her hips down and buried himself in her to the hilt as her muscles contracted around his cock. Maisie’s ragged breaths and moans were louder and he couldn’t hold it anymore. She was taking him so well. He came hard and deep inside of her, painting her walls white and making it leak around them both.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck”, he grunted, the pleasure spreading to his toes as Maisie pulled his head down to kiss him, not an inch of space between their sweat-slicked bodies.
They slowly came back from their highs, bodies still joined, Dean’s head resting between Maisie’s breasts while she caressed the hair on the nape of his neck. After a few minutes, he tilted his head up to look at her. “That was incredible. You’re so perfect”, he said, kissing her, hot and messy mouth exploring hers.
“Stop, Dean. You’re making me blush”, she said, smiling as her cheeks turned a pretty shade of pink.
“It’s true. And you look beautiful when you blush. But I know something that will make you look even prettier”, he stated, kissing her again and slotting himself back between her thick legs.
She made space for him and felt his cock getting hard against her left inner thigh. Maisie laughed when Dean’s mouth travelled to her neck, sucking the sweet spot behind her ear. It felt good to see the way he reacted to her so promptly, how she aroused him right after they just had the most amazing sex. It felt like they knew each other for way longer than they actually did. “Tell me, Dean”, Maisie encouraged him, wanting to hear more of that deep, sexy voice of his saying dirty things to her.
He answered by straddling her mid, cock standing hard and glistening with their juices. It was a mouth-watering sight, Maisie thought, and she wanted nothing more than to suck him off. She reached out to take him in her small hand, and Dean grunted. “You would look amazing covered in my cum”, he confessed, hips jerking with her touch.
“I think I have a better idea”, she looked up at him from under her lashes, leaning up to give a kitten-lick to the head of his cock. Dean hissed and threw his head back, every inch of his body reacting to Maisie’s caress.
She pushed him back on the bed and knelt between his spread legs, proceeding to hold his cock with one hand and sucking on the tip while watching his every reaction. He felt heavy and hot in her hand, and she took him as far as she could, moaning around him.
“Fuck, Maisie, I’m not gonna last”, Dean warned, his length pulsing on her tongue.
Giving one particular strong suck and slurping their combined juices, she let go of him. “Do you wanna come all over me, Dean?”, asked the woman, sensual eyes watching him panting. She knew the answer, he already said it, but she wanted to hear him say it again.
“Yeah, baby”, he replied, lips parted while he watched her give one more kitten lick to the head of his dick and jerk him off until he exploded, painting her breasts and stomach with his hot cum.
“Wow, Dean”, she exclaimed, collecting some of the liquid from between her breasts and licking her fingers to clean it, tasting the tanginess of his cum.
“That was so fucking hot, Mais. You’re incredible”, he pulled her in for a kissing, tasting her and himself, pushing his tongue into her mouth and making her moan.
Wrapping her body in his embrace, Dean pulled her down to lay on the bed with him, still kissing her and exploring her curves with his hands. Once they stopped to catch their breaths, Dean noticed her eyes getting heavy as he caressed her back. He watched as she fell asleep and pulled a blanket over them, letting himself be carried away with her to a dreamless, peaceful sleep.
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The Winchesters stayed with Maisie for a week. After the police was done collecting evidence from her place, the three of them went back and settled there, trying to help her back to her routine and mostly waiting to know what would happen with Eric. Sam slept in Maisie’s old bedroom while she and Dean shared the other room. That made the younger Winchester smile. He could tell right away that his brother and friend had clicked off, and he hoped they would both get the best out of whatever was going on between them.
In the meantime, Dean was so adamant at making sure Eric would stay in jail and have no chance at ever getting close to Maisie again that, when a hunt surfaced in a city nearby, he sent Sam and asked Bobby for help, deciding to stay with her just in case.
“It’s a quick and easy salt and burn, Sammy, you don’t need me. ‘Sides, Bobby is on his way. Maisie is gonna talk to her lawyer and I wanna be here, in case we need to do something to keep the jackass locked up”, he explained, patting Sam on the shoulder and giving him the Impala’s keys.
Gladly, everything went fine and Eric would wait for trial in jail. Maisie’s lawyer assured her there was no way he was not getting convicted, and Dean only agreed to leave because of that.
“Mais, I’m- Sam and I are one call away. All you have to do is give us a call and we’ll be here or have someone here with you, okay?”, Dean assured, giving Maisie one last hug while Sam was already waiting in the car.
“I know, Dean, thank you. I appreciate everything you guys did for me. Especially you”, she said, smirking devilishly and pulling him down for a kiss. “I cannot wait to see you again”, she whispered in his ear before they split.
Dean’s ears were red but he was grinning. “Me too, sweetheart. I’m gonna text you every day. You text me back, alright?”.
“I will, I promise”, she said, waving goodbye as he walked towards the car.
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As Dean drove down the road, switching the radio on, Sam watched him. Since it didn’t look like his older brother was gonna say anything, he decided to give him a push.
"So, what?", Sam asked.
"What, what?", Dean replied, raising an eyebrow, eyes fixed on the road ahead.
"You and Maisie. Was it just a one-time thing?".
"Hell, no. Not if it's up to me. She’s pretty great, Sammy", Dean smiled, mind filled with the memories of their good time together.
"I know that. That's why I'm asking. Don't break her heart, man".
"I won't, man. I promised her I'll come back. I will call and text and check on her too. I will. She knows how our life is, though. She knows I can't be there every day. But I'm gonna be there for her, for the important things at least. She will never have to deal with that dude ever again, if it's up to me. I’m gonna keep her safe", Dean looked at his brother, stern expression telling Sam he meant every word.
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5 years later – after Purgatory
Maisie’s bare feet were starting to hurt from walking up and down the living room. The perspective of seeing Dean after a year was making her too anxious. One year without hearing his voice, except for the voice messages she kept replaying every time the pain of missing him was too much to bear. One year of no texts, no pictures, of not looking into his green eyes. One year of not knowing if he was even alive.
He was back now, but she had no idea in what state, physical and mental, she would find him. That was only increasing her nervousness, but she tried to hold on to the fact that he was alive, and he was gonna be there with her at any moment now. Everything else, they would manage together.
She ran to the door the moment she heard the sound of the Impala’s engine. If it weren’t for Sam’s call giving her a little more detail, the only indication she had was a text message sent from Dean’s old phone: I’m back and on my way to see you, Mais.
Maisie wouldn’t even had believed that the message was actually from Dean, if Sam hadn’t call right after she received it, explaining that Dean was alive. Apparently, the brothers had a fight, and Dean was on his way to see her. She and Sam were not exactly in the best terms at the moment as well – Maisie was not happy with the fact that he didn’t look for Dean, and she had a suspicion that was the reason they fought.
Once she reached the front door, Dean was already halfway up the short staircase leading to the house’s porch. “De-“, she started saying, tears running down her cheeks, but he didn’t let her finish. He skipped the last two steps and pulled her into his arms, embracing her as tight as he could while kissing her almost with bruising force.
“I missed you, Mais, I missed you so fucking much”, he said between kisses. She sobbed and laughed at the same time, heart thumping in her chest. The relief of seeing him again, looking tired but somewhat whole, was everything she had hoped for in the last year.
“I missed you too, Dean. I love you”, she said, knowing it would scare the shit out of him, but not wanting to spend another day with the regret of not having him know the depth of her feelings.
Dean stepped back but kept his arms around her waist. He was clearly shocked, but soon his wide eyes gave way to the wrinkles that framed his face so beautifully every time he smiled. “I- I love you too, Maisie. I didn’t realize how much until I couldn’t be with you”.
She kissed him again, standing on her tiptoes to throw her arms around his neck. Maisie was glad to realize she didn’t forget the smell of him, or the feeling of his short hair on the tip of her fingers, or the way his big hands fit so perfectly on her hips.
Taking his hand in hers, Maisie led Dean inside the house. As if no time had passed, they sat at the table and she offered him the cookies she prepared on the day before, and he ate all of them, just like he always used to do, to her complete joy. After that, they talked for a while, sharing their perspectives about everything that happened during the past year, how she searched for him and even reached to some of the Winchesters’ hunter friends to help once she realized Sam was not doing what she expected him to.
It was a hard conversation for both of them. Dean wanted more than anything to simply forget everything, but he knew that he owed Maisie an explanation. She was utterly shocked when he mentioned Purgatory and everything he went through there, but her resolution to help him heal didn’t change, not even for a second.
The night ended with them making love. Dean got so lost in the comfort of her body, something he craved and wished for so long, that it wasn’t even surprising to him to feel a tear streaming down his face when he was finally inside her. There was nothing he wanted more than to be wrapped in her scent, her softness, to have every curve of her body fitting into his, to feel as comfortable and safe as he always felt with her.
He took her slowly at first, savoring the feeling of being joined with her after so long, of feeling her heartbeat against the hand he kept on her left breast, of watching the goosebumps forming on her skin with every one of his touches.
On the second round, Maisie was sitting on Dean’s lap, legs wrapped around his waist and arms around his neck, kissing him fiercely. One of his hands was placed on her lower back so he could help her ride him, pushing her down and filling her to the hilt with every thrust. Her look was of pure bliss, cheeks flushed with the effort, and it was the most beautiful thing Dean had ever seen.
"My God, you're stunning. Do you know that? Do you have any idea how beautiful you look when you come?", he asked, pushing a strand of hair from her face while they were catching their breaths, sweaty bodies still intertwined.
Maisie looked at him with watery eyes. She couldn’t believe fate brought the two of them together. In the years they knew each other, they both changed so much, and all they’ve been through only made Dean more handsome and perfect in her eyes.
“Thank you. Thank you for being so perfect. Thank you for being mine. I love you”, she replied, kissing Dean again, savoring the feeling of his plump lips and the slight roughness of his stubble against her palms.
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10 years later – Lebanon, Kansas
Dean watches as Lily’s eyelids got heavier and heavier as he finishes the story. When she finally falls asleep, her little hand still holding his thumb tightly, he gently pushes her hair, as dark as her mom’s, out of her face. His movements are delicate, but she opens her big green eyes that look so much like his, and stares at him briefly, before falling asleep again.
He spends a few more minutes watching her, until a movement by the door catches his attention.
Maisie is standing there, in her pajamas, watching him. She smiles when he notices her.
He removes his hand from his daughter’s carefully, stands up from the stuffed chair by her bed, and walks to the door, where his wife waits for him.
“Hey”, Maisie greets in a whisper when he approaches her, extending her hand so Dean can hold it. He does, intertwining their fingers and standing next to her.
“Hey, baby. How long have you been standing there?”, he asks, kissing the top of her head.
“Just for two or three minutes. I arrived when you were telling her about how you fell in love with me from the first time you saw me”, she revealed, looking up at him and blushing.
Dean chuckled. “You got me there. It’s no lie, though. She loves hearing that story. It’s the one she always asks me to tell her. That, and the one where mommy and daddy reunited after he got out of monster land”.
“Monster land?”, Maisie furrowed her eyebrows in a questioning look.
“Yeah, that’s what I call Purgatory to her”, he gave her a cocky smile, obviously proud of his own creativity.
“I hope you spared her of the details”, she said, chuckling at Dean, once again amazed at the fact that their daughter seemed to love horror stories, just like her father.
“‘Course. Our story ain’t no fairytale, but I think it’s pretty awesome. Plus, she has to know how great her mommy is”, he affirmed, charming as always, and Maisie pulled his hand so they both would move away from Lily’s bedroom door. She closed it and led him to their room.
Once inside, the woman turned around and threw her arms around her husband’s neck, kissing him deeply.
“I love you, Dean. I love how amazing you are with our daughter. I would go through everything we went through all over again knowing it would lead us to this. You, me, and Lily”, she declared, eyes watering.
It was his turn to kiss her now, his warm palm against the side of her neck guiding her into the kiss. Maisie was so much shorter than him that, when they stopped for air, he rested his chin on the top of her head. “She’s only 2, but I know she’s growing up to be as fierce and strong as you are. Once she’s old enough, she’s gonna know how her dad went through hell and Purgatory, and how her mom was the reason he came back every time. How you waited for me and welcomed me with open arms, when I was bruised and battered and more fucked up than before. But you put me back together, baby. I love you”, Dean said, holding his love in his arms.
THE END.
Taglist (I'm sorry super this is super outdated! If you want to be removed or included in this taglist, let me know and I'll gladly do it <3): @sexyvixen7; @candy-coated-misery0731; @dean-winchester-lover99; @thoughts-and-funnies; @avanatural; @dean-winchester-is-a-warrior; @eevvvaa; @spn-fanfic-reblog-writes; @djs8891.
#fic rec#dean winchester smut#dean winchester fluff#dean winchester angst#dean winchester pining#dean winchester x ofc#dean winchester fanfic#dean winchester fanfiction#dean winchester one shot#dean winchester
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Hi Pia
Feel free to ignore if this is unwelcome, but have you ever thought about publishing traditionally to sublimate your income and draw in new readers? I know you've self published two books already and that you didn't feel like they did very well, but maybe the experience would be different if someone else was in charge of marketing and all the other business stuff?
Obviously everyone's experience is different but as an author myself who's published both trad and self, traditional publishing has been a completely different experience and has allowed me to focus more on writing because I'm not the one responsible for advertising/marketing/financing anymore.
There are a ton of literary agents nowadays that want to represent diverse and lgbtqia+ fiction, some of them even in Australia.
Websites like Reedsy, AgentQuery and Jerichowriters have extensive directories to find literary agents.
(This is lengthy folks so I'm putting the other two parts (and my response) under a read more! Also putting it under a read more so the anon can skip my response since it's very 'here's all the reasons I can't do this' and they just might not want to read that, lmao)
(continued -> )
Trad publishing houses have better resources for marketing and helping authors get more attention than any self publishing website could.
Obviously most authors, unless they're really prolific, don't get a huge advance (the average is between $1000 - $5000) but getting your foot in the door or on the traditional publishing "ladder' so to speak can have a huge benefit for your serials. Because it gives you more exposure. Plus it's in the agent's best interest to find a publishing house that accepts stories that contain darker themes and negotiate the best deal for you.
For some reason places like Amazon and the like accept and keep up more "dark" books that are traditionally published than they do with self pub ones. Maybe because they have more respect or leniency for publishing houses? I have no idea. But you could use this to your advantage. I think I remember you mentioning that writing novels felt quite isolating to you? But you already have 2 completed novels (3 if you count the fae one) that you could potentially revisit or rewrite to your liking and get them represented by agents.
You already have a loyal readership and that's very attractive to trad pub houses and agents.
As well as trad publishing, you could also make s simple website that doesn't require much maintenance. It could be just a landing page that says something about you and then has links to your tumblr and patreon where you're more active. That way you increase the chances of getting your serials found by additional readers and also come across looking more "professional". Not that you're not professional now. You are and I admire you greatly, but the unfortunate reality is a lot of people still judge by appearances and some will be more drawn to an author's website than a tumblr page, at least at first. So I think having a simple landing page would open up another door for you to benefit from.
Trad publishing is work but definitely not as much as self publishing, and you can continue on with your serials. Getting an agent can be time consuming but I personally believe the pros outweigh the cons and I also believe that your stories would be a huge treasure to the growing lgbtqia+ market. Seriously there needs to be more!
These are just suggestions and thoughts and like I said before, feel free to ignore. But I know you've mentioned wanting to grow your career in the past and I genuinely believe you can do so with some of these pathways.
~
Okay, my response. Posting this because firstly I think the suggestions could work very well for other authors reading this! And I hope they take the advice to note, and secondly because I haven't talked about this for a hot minute so let's talk about it again.
So the TL;DR is yes I have considered traditional publishing. I have actually been traditionally published in short stories, poetry, and also had my art published on covers and re: interior illustrations. But my Fae Tales works got soundly rejected when I sent them to publishing houses that were doing open calls for that sort of material. I've never heard back from an agent and I never expect to, heh.
~
Now for a bit more detail
I have been traditionally published before (it's how I got my writing out there long before I ever wrote serials), and yes, I have approached publishers with my writing since then. In fact Tradewinds was written for the traditional publishing market, and it got soundly rejected, and then shelved. The reasons it was rejected ran the gamut from 'I don't like that these fae eat humans no one is going to relate to these people' (while the editor then went on to publish vampire books idk) to 'There's too much worldbuilding you can't expect readers to keep up with this' to 'Your stories are too long, no one wants to read characters talking all the time.'
Meanwhile in my online serials I was getting feedback like 'my favourite chapters are the ones where the characters just sit in a room and talk' lol.
The traditional publishing world is also not quite as utopian for most authors as you make it seem. I'm friends with a lot of authors who are traditionally published because that's the world I came from, and unless they're solely in KU and doing generic rapid release formula romances, none of them are making that much money. Certainly not enough to live off. It may have been that you were very fortunate, anon, but I know hundreds more traditionally published authors that left trad pub to make money, and I know about 5 in trad pub personally who are making enough to live off of.
Only one of those is really writing what she truly loves to write, and even then, publishing houses have refused to commit to her entire fantasy series (and she's regularly in 'Top 10/20 Women Fantasy Authors in the World' lists) and forced her to finish the series prematurely. Something I never ever have to worry about in self pub.
The reality is that in trad pub these days, you're still in charge of most of your marketing unless you're one of the big earners for the publishing house. In fact I'd be expected to keep even more of a social media and marketing presence than I do now. I don't do almost any of the things you're supposed to do as an author in marketing to be appealing. I don't have a Facebook author account. I don't have an Instagram author account. I don't maintain or regularly send out newsletters (which automatically puts me in the like 0.05% of authors who make money doing this lmao).
I don't know if you ever have looked that closely into what m/m publishing houses expect from most of their authors, but the newsletter swaps, cover releases, review circuits, interview circuits and more are fucking grueling. We're expected to be responsible for our advertising and our marketing to a fairly massive degree. Some traditionally published in m/m still have to pay for their release blitzes out of pocket. These publishing houses, by and large, do not offer advances. You say most authors don't get large advances. I don't think most authors in this arena get offered advances at all unless they're somehow miraculously acquired by a Big 4.
We're expected to have an already established social media presence because of that (that's why it's so appealing to publishers that we have social media presences already, anon, so we can market, they can save money, and we still see only a minimal cut from the royalties).
And you still have to focus on your finances, because publishing houses like Dreamspinner straight up didn't pay a whole bunch of authors for so long they destroyed careers. They still haven't paid some of their authors. And they're still running a business and people still buy their books.
Trad publishing houses have better resources for marketing and helping authors get more attention than any self publishing website could.
This is true if a) they're a big publishing house and not an indie publisher of which most LGBTQIA+ publishing houses are and b) they're willing to use them on you.
The authors that make the most money get the most resources. If they believe you're going to earn back your advance and move thousands or tens of thousands of units per book, then yes, you will get those resources.
I have been told so many times now - even from friends who run publishing houses, including one who works at HarperCollins - that my work will never be mainstream enough to have broad appeal. They literally told me not to keep trying re: trad pub, because that was my dream for a long time. These folks have given me rock solid advice in the past, it's one of the reasons I'm doing so well now via Patreon + Ream. But they were like (paraphrasing) 'you don't write 60-80k romances and you don't want to and that's not your strength anyway, you're multi-genre which makes you hard to market, you write psychological and literary trauma recovery which is hard to market, you write character studies which are hard to market, publishing houses often don't commit to series anymore if the first two don't move units and if they pulled the plug you'd be contractually obliged to never finish that series until your contract was up.' I could go on, but it was like yeah...actually. Fair.
For some reason places like Amazon and the like accept and keep up more "dark" books that are traditionally published than they do with self pub ones. Maybe because they have more respect or leniency for publishing houses?
They do, but most publishing houses want very formulaic dark romance which is not what I write.
I have a 300k omegaverse slowburn that still hasn't had any penetrative sex in it, anon. Publishing houses don't want that. They don't expect anyone will wait 4 full length novels to get to literally a single penetrative sex scene.
But you already have 2 completed novels (3 if you count the fae one) that you could potentially revisit or rewrite to your liking and get them represented by agents.
If I rewrote them to my liking, trad pub wouldn't want them. They'd be too long! I think agents etc. take one look at me and go 'oh god, no thank you!' I'm not an easy sell, by any means.
Plus I'm very e.e about all of that with the knowledge that they then give me only about 10-15% of the royalties on the sales, vs. self-pub where I get around 70%, or subscription where I around 80% of it. When someone subscribes to me, they don't have to worry about 85-90% of their subscription fee going to a publishing house. I don't have to think about how many thousands and thousands of books I'd have to sell to make the same amount that I do now via subscription.
As well as trad publishing, you could also make s simple website that doesn't require much maintenance.
If it was that simple, I'd be doing it. I don't mean this in a facetious way, I mean it in a: I've made a lot of websites, in fact I run one at the moment not connected to my writing (I've been running it for so long it's now in its 20s and can probably has a driver's license). I find it so tedious that I barely remember to check in on it. But forgetting about it means there's always maintenance to keep up with when I get back to it.
Running websites is simpler than it used to be, but it's still not simple. There's hosting and hosting costs, there's server changes, there's back-end maintenance etc. I'm considering it for down the track, but there's a reason I decided to go the route of Patreon over my own site. There are authors (like Christopher Hopper) who actually do subscription through their own domain, but it's a lot of work.
Even placeholder sites are still work. They need updating, details change, story titles changing etc. Maintaining my Patreon + Ream About pages is enough, they're always both a little out of date, lol.
Not that you're not professional now.
Oh no, I mean from a 'traditional publisher looking at me to see what kind of candidate I am' I'm really not though. Like I said, I don't have the newsletter (100 subscribers who get one newsletter a year is not really a newsletter), I don't have the Facebook/Tiktok/Insta/Twitter/Bluesky/Threads accounts, etc. I write multi-genre across multiple steam levels, and I'm allergic to writing serials shorter than 150k. One of my best performing original serials was an 800k contemporary story with no sex in it but a lot of BDSM. It can't be marketed as clean or sweet, it's not high steam, an entire chapter is 'boy saves snail from rain.' Also he was cruel to animals, so not exactly what I'd call a sympathetic main.
And yet that story did so well for me via Patreon + Ream, because people want the kinds of stories that publishing houses generally don't want and I happen to be writing them.
Trad publishing is work but definitely not as much as self publishing, and you can continue on with your serials. Getting an agent can be time consuming but I personally believe the pros outweigh the cons and I also believe that your stories would be a huge treasure to the growing lgbtqia+ market. Seriously there needs to be more!
Anon I just literally do not believe an agent would want to represent me. I have 0% belief in that. Not from a self-deprecating angle but from a 'I am not a good bet for the trad market' perspective. From a 'I have so many friends who are trad pubbed authors who stare at me like I'm insane for writing serials as long as I do' perspective. From a 'professionals in the industry have told me it's amazing I'm doing so well in serials because there's no way they'd take a risk on what I'm doing' perspective. From a 'just because it's queer and diverse doesn't mean it hits literally any other thing a trad pub is looking for' perspective. I've been doing this for 10 years. There are agents who represent work similar to mine who know what I'm doing and wouldn't touch me with a ten foot pole. They're not missing out on a trick, they know I'm not broad appeal, and they're right.
Also the only way I'd have the energy to manage trad pub is by quitting serials. And honestly, I never found trad pub all that much fun while I was doing it for non-novel stuff. It was fine, and it is nice to have my stuff out there, but it was a ton of admin and a lot of going back and forth between people who really only care about marketing a product, and that's great and what they excel at! But I'm too disabled to turn this job into something crushing just to potentially make more money, I'd rather just quit and go back onto a full Disability Pension. I can't see any way I still get to write the stories I want to write, in the way that I write them, and be remotely appealing to a single reputable trad pub or agent.
Also *gestures to everything in this article*
#asks and answers#pia on writing#pia on publishing#i appreciate your thoughts anon#and i'm so happy it's working out well for you#and that you're able to live off what you're doing#you are one of the rare outliers in the world of publishing#and i truly wish you all the success in the world#i do think a lot of your advice will go to help a lot of writers who sometimes check in#at my tumblr#but yeah no i don't even write that much 'dark' stuff in the classic sense#of what trad pub wants#right now the publishing world that i'm adjacent to#seems to view me as some kind of oddity#'i don't know how he's making an income off all this stuff that we know would never work for us'#'how odd and strange'#'best leave him alone'#most authors are thankfully not doing what i'm doing#in which case yes they should absolutely consider agent representation#and looking into trad pub#unfortunately i'm not like a CS Pacat#even though she's a role model for me#and when i tried to write for the more traditional market#which was perth shifters#i honestly really struggled
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Taking care of others isn't necessarily something that Doomsday comes by naturally. It isn't in her instinct to wait on or be motherly to others, or to pamper them or to pity them. She can feel sympathy for them and care about them and care for them, for sure. But that stereotypical "feminine" desire to worry over a person who is unwell or who is obviously in a sorry state? That is not something she was born with.
It is, however, something she somewhat learned by taking care of her mother when she was terminally ill. She can remember all the times she helped administer her medications. All the assisted trips to the bathroom, the showers, the sponge baths when the showers became too difficult, changing the adult diapers, feeding her. All of it, all the way until the end. Doomsday did all of that for her mother.
She did a lot of emotional caretaking for others too, growing up, whether it was by her choice or not. It's not something she likes to think about. In fact, if anything, it taught her to contain her own emotions while being more attuned to those of others.
In any case, all of this lends to a sense of understanding of where Sylvester might be coming from when he sits there plainly going through an emotional struggle, while he gobbles down his food, while he struggles with what to say. What do you say to someone taking the time to address your needs when they've been ignored for so long?
Doom doesn't know the answer to that either.
She shrugs and looks away, the idea of being thanked simply for helping someone who obviously needed it seeming kind of absurd for some reason even though it paradoxically makes her feel sheepish and she appreciates it at the same time but also doesn't know how to respond or accept it. She says, "You're all right, Sylvester," and leaves it at that, in the absence of knowing what else to say.
After a few seconds, once it seems like he's finished eating and he mentions showering, she says, "Okay, yeah, if that's what you want to go ahead and do, that's fine. Shower's in there." She gestures towards the bathroom. "Shampoo and soap and everything should already be in there. And you don't have to rush or anything, there's plenty of hot water or whatever. I can wait around out here in case you need help or anything, with that broken rib and all, but that's up to you. I'm not bothered by it, but I don't want to invade your privacy," she says, shrugging again.
Sylvester isn't used to people being this considerate. Doomsday is doing everything right, from letting him eat without watching him or judging him in any way to bringing him various clothes, including something comfortable to sleep in. He's admittedly a little unsure of how to react to it -all of this really is just solidifying the idea of this situation being nothing more than an illusion created by his brain- and so he remains quiet for a moment, just processing things.
"Ah..uhm...Thank you. I really appreciate all that you're doing for me. It's very kind of you. I'm not..." he trails off, not wanting to finish his sentence. He doesn't need to draw any more attention to how pathetic his situation is. She doesn't need to know that kindness has been scarcely shown to him lately, that the offer of friendship means more than he could put into words at the moment, and that the simple act of providing him with food, a bed, and some clean clothes makes him want to burst out into tears. He doesn't. He's gotten quite good at repressing his emotions and he does so now as well. He's already enough of a charity case, he highly doubts Doomsday would like to see him sobbing his eyes out while thanking her. Still, he can't help the hint of melancholy in his eyes, and the way his expression tightens just for a moment as he looks down at his hands.
He finishes his soup and toast. He's still eating a bit too fast, and it makes him a little nauseous, but he manages to keep it all down. "I'll take a shower first if you don't mind. I would hate to dirty those clothes right away. I imagine it'll feel better this way as well."
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