#the rice is so good i can't tell what's in it but it's so sweet and contrasts really nicely with the savory sauce and toppings

[mothbaaalls]

my mom went to a japanese restaurant with some friends and brought me home a bigass bowl of rice topped with shrimp and chicken and veggies and it's pretty tasty but theres SO MUCH OF IT

HEEELP somebody come share it with me 🥺

[genderqueerdykes]

had the consult for my gallbladder surgery. the doctor told me i need to "lose 10 - 15 pounds" before they'll perform the surgery on me, and that I would need to wait 2 - 3 months before they would schedule it. i told her i have PCOS which makes it difficult to lose weight. she told me that does happen, and offered to refer me to a bariatric surgeon who is used to bigger bodies who could perform the gallbladder removal instead. i asked her for the referral to them instead

i was very angry at her for this, as 10 - 15 pounds do not make any difference when you are 300 lbs. my weight fluctuates between 280 - 340 lbs depending greatly on what i've eaten, how much i exercise, and so on. this will also vary greatly depending on if the stone is blocking my gallbladder completely or partially- if it's fully blocking the neck of my gallbladder, i cannot get enough digestive juices into my stomach to properly digest my food, so i will begin violently vomiting to get the undigested food out, and to get bile flowing into my stomach again. i begin to lose tons of weight when this happens, and i put it back on during the periods where i can get enough bile in my stomach to properly digest my food.

i can't digest my food properly. eating "healthier" will not change this- i can't digest food at all, period. healthy or unhealthy, i can't digest anything, because a good half of my digestive juices are completely missing from my guts. there is a functional issue with the way my guts work, of course i will lose weight drastically and put it back on at times. of course the issues will be episodic.

both her and the student that was working with me kept assuming that i said that my pain got worse after "high fat" meals. both of them put this in my mouth-

the student did it first. she asked when the pain gets worse and i said sporadically, but sometimes after i eat. she literally asked me "so you said it gets worse after fatty meals, right?"

i got frustrated and said "no, it's really random." i didn't get to tell her that raw leafy vegetables and lightly steamed or cooked vegetables make me vomit. broccoli and cauliflower that aren't heavily cooked, salads, raw vegetables, lightly cooked carrots, applesauce and apples in general are all problem foods.

the doctor then came in and said "it gets worse after high fat meals, right? you said that" and i went, again, "no it just kinda happens."

i don't even eat a high fat diet. i cook at home now for every meal now that i have all the tools i need to do so. i make rice, fish, pasta, and certain vegetables that i can digest like potatoes, sweet potatoes, onions, mushrooms, and so on. i eat bread, seeds, nuts, dried fruits, and drink oatmilk. i don't eat land meats, eggs, or dairy. i don't have any of those things. i do eat french fries and fish sticks, but not for every single meal. i don't eat chips because they're too salty and irritate my stomach. i don't eat candy or sweets unless the food bank delivers them to me. i don't eat much sugar other than pancakes and certain fruits

she wouldn't listen to me and went "well when you eat fatty meals, your gallbladder has to contract more and it can cause you a lot of pain." you would not believe how many times she came back to "you need to eat a lower fat diet." "the pain gets worse after you eat a high fat meal, so eat lower fat meals and your pain will go down." "just eat a lower fat diet and it'll help."

i just kind of sighed. there were tears in my eyes. i felt defeated. they made a bunch of assumptions just because i was sitting there, being fat. i was wearing long sleeves due to it being cold and they didn't get to see that i have a lot of muscle in my body mass. quite a lot. i wanted to tell them that i'm on testosterone and physically active when and where possible, and that i frequently lift heavy objects and move, but i never got a chance. i wanted to tell them my BMI isn't what they think it is, but i just didn't bother to try

i despise that people assume that fat people are fat because they eat "unhealthy" foods. i ate high fat foods for a few months while i was homeless because i didn't have the resources to cook every single meal. it affected my liver, i'm dealing with some fatty liver. but my gallbladder has more important issues in the form of the literal stone inside. she would not stop pushing for me to eat lower fat meals. all because i was sitting there, existing, as a fat person. i wish i would've told her i can only eat fish and plant matter

i don't understand how a patient telling you they're vomiting and can't keep down certain foods does not sound like a more pressing issue than an arbitrary number. weight as a number means nothing, it tells you nothing about that person's actual body composition. i have trauma with vomiting and yet i'm going to have to keep doing it anyway despite the fact that it could kill me via dehydration or if i just. can't stop

either way i'm very unhappy with result as i already waited for a month for this consult. now i have to wait for a referral for another surgeon to go through, and to do the consult with them, too. all while being in pain and having GI issues the entire time. just because a surgeon doesn't want to take the time to learn how to operate on fat bodies. i'm tired. what a joke

[whenanafallsinlove]

KATSUKI BAKUGO; - you take a cat home... or not? crack﹗ ✧ Word count: 1.9 k

﹗warnings: swearing :D

a/n: Okay, so this ended up longer than intended, just enjoy! I hope I get you to laugh a little ;) . Comment your thoughts and remember my asks and dm's are open!

You were in your home, chopping vegetables for your lunch. The day was sunny, and you were in a good mood. Your favourite music was playing in the background, while your rice was cooking. Suddenly, your phone rang, it was Izuku. You knew Katsuki was currently working on a case with him and Todoroki, so you instantly picked up to learn the news. Maybe they already captured the villain, and they could come over for lunch!

"Hello, Izuku! Is everything alright?" you asked cheerily.

"Oh, hi (Y/n)! Well, uhm-" he was interrupted by something that sounded like a hiss, "Ouch! Kacchan, stop it! Todoroki-kun, could you help?"

"Izuku?" you asked, starting to get concerned.

"Sorry, (Y/n)! It's just, well... Wekindofhaveasituationhere, beacusewe werefightingavillain, but, uh- shehadaveryunusualquirk, and, well uhm-"

Okay, when that man starts to mumble, something is definitely wrong. If something happened, he better talk now.

"Izuku Midoriya, you have three seconds to spill it, before I pull a Katsuki on you" you practically ordered, your bubbly mood from before, long gone.

"Kaachan was turned into a cat!"

"What?!"

"Yeah, but don't worry, he's fine. Please come to the Agency! I swear we'll tell you more about it once you're here!"

"Oh, okay, alright. But is he fine?"

"He- he is! Just, please hurry? He's already scratched me like ten times..."

"I'm on my way" you hanged up and turned off the stove. Grabbed your keys, your phone and instantly headed out.

You made it to the Agency in record time and got as swiftly as you could out of the car and into the building.

"Ms (Y/L/N)!", Sasaki, the receptionist called right after you entered, "they're waiting for you in Dynamight's office!"

"Thanks, Sasaki!" you nodded, and headed straight into the elevator. You pressed the button for Katsuki's office and waited.

While the elevator went up, the news finally dawned on you. Your boyfriend was turned into a cat! By a villain! God knows for how long!

The doors of the elevator finally opened, and you sprinted to your boyfriend's workspace. When you got there, you slammed the door open and were met by Izuku's and Todoroki's eyes.

"Where is he?" you said, without greeting them

"He is seated in his chair" Todoroki responded, nodding to the corresponding direction.

You walked slowly into the room, to take a look at your boyfriend. Then, you spotted a fluffy yellowish cat, with the grumpiest face, seated on an office chair.

And you barked a laugh.

Then, you turned around to meet, Izuku's and Todoroki's confused stares, which only made you laugh louder.

"Uhm, (Y/n), are you okay? Izuku asked, with a concerned tone

"Yeah, I'm fine! It's just-" you chuckled, wiping the tears that your laughter provoked, "I just can't believe Pro hero Dynamight got quirked into a cat! How the hell did it happen anyway?" you questioned between laughter, earning a hiss from the cat.

"Well, this villain is called ‘Animaniac’. At first, we thought it was just a villain who could talk with animals, and we thought she had let out the animals from the Zoo. But while fighting, we discovered she actually turns people into animals, and the ones that were roaming around the city, are people who got hit by the quirk." Todoroki explained.

"Yeah, and when we were fighting her, she was going to hit a little girl with her quirk, but Kaachan acted faster, and got hit with the quirk instead..." Izuku continued.

"Aw, Kats... You're so sweet for protecting the girl!" and then started chuckling, "You're such a nice Kat!" and roared a laughter once again; this time earning contained chuckles from the other two heroes.

"He is Cat-suki!" exclaimed a laughing Izuku, and in a swift movement, the cat jumped from where he was seated and started attacking Izuku with his claws.

You gasped and instantly went to help Izuku, while Todoroki just stood there watching the scene unroll. The chaos went on for a few moments until an accidental scratch made your skin sting.

"Ouch! Okay, that's enough" you grabbed Katsuki from the neck, how a mother cat would take her kitten, and embraced him.

Finally, Izuku shook off the fur that got stuck in his clothes, breathing from relief. You sighed.

“So, tell me… Did you take him to the police or the doctors yet?”

“We went to the hospital, where the police met us. They told us the quirk was not going to last, long, but they took Bakugo’s hero costume to follow up the investigation.” Todoroki explained and you nodded in understanding.

“Good. So, I’ll take Katsuki home, and I’ll see you guys around?”

“Yes, (Y/N)! Take care! And please keep us updated if anything happens!” Izuku said, waving goodbye.

“Sure! See you!”

“Bye, (Y/N). Take care.” Todoroki said with a smile as you closed the office door behind you.

You made your way into the elevator, once you were alone with Katsuki, you spoke.

“Sorry for teasing you, it’s just such a funny situation.” The cat looked up as you continued, “Do you want to get in my purse? Or do you want me to keep carrying you?” the cat blinked.

“I’ll just carry you, then. I don’t want you getting stomped on, or kidnapped, or anything”. Just then, the elevator opened, and you walked to the exit.

“Bye, Sasaki!” you addressed the receptionist as you quickly passed by her place. You didn’t wait for an answer, since you were sure Katsuki would like to avoid any type of attention towards his cat form.

Once you were out of the building and inside your car, you spoke to Katsuki again,

“Kats, stay in my lap. I’ll just put the sit belt for both of us”, Katsuki blinked at you and did as you said, while you clicked the belt, covering both of you.

You started driving home, and the stillness of Katsuki made you slightly concerned.

“I know you can’t speak right now, but I feel like you’re acting a little weird. Do you feel okay? If you’re getting motion sickness, meow two times” he stayed silent.

A few more minutes passed until you pulled over in your driveway. You took off your sit belt and carried Katsuki inside your home.

His silence was making you believe he was mad that you made fun of him in front of his friends, so you put him in the kitchen aisle and said,

“Hey, Kats. I’m really sorry for teasing you. I know you must be feeling so unlike yourself right now, and you must not be in the mood to be make fun of. I’ll make it up to you, ‘kay? I’ll cook lunch” you offered him a smile.

Then, you put your apron on and continued the cooking you had started before all the chaos. When you poured the ingredients in the pan, the smell of the food seemed to content Katsuki, so he got off the counter and started to rub his head around your feet.

“I’m almost finished, babe. Just know that I didn’t cook it with spice this time, we don’t know if you’ll be as resistant in this form”.

“What form?” the voice made you jolt, you looked to the cat to see if he could talk, but then you spotted him.

Katsuki was standing near the entrance.

“What? Babe get behind me” you picked up the cat and put it behind your figure, as you took the knife you used to chop the vegetables and pointed it to the human Katsuki.

“Babe? What’s wrong?” he eyed the cat “Why is there a cat?” the confusion in his eyes was evident.

“Do not get closer or I’ll call the police!” you threatened when he tried to get closer.

“What the fuck, (Y/N)? Why are you acting so weird? Did you get hit it he head? Let me check if you have a concussion-” he took a couple steps towards you before you interrupted,

“I do not have a concussion! I just, how are you there? I don’t understand!” your voice sounded more exasperated than you wished.

Katsuki recognized you were starting to panic at the situation, so he had to make you calm down before anything escalated.

“Okay, I’ll prove to you that it is me.” He hummed, as he thought about a memory only the two of you knew, “Remember when we had our first date and you were laughing very hard, and then I hugged you and-”

“Stop! Okay, I get it, it’s you!” you tossed the knife to the counter and sighed.

“Now that it’s settled… Care to explain why you’re acting like a maniac?”

“I still don’t get why there’s two of you, is the effect of the quirk gone?” Katsuki’s eyes grew even wider.

“What quirk? There is no other me, are you sure you didn’t hit your head, freak?” he then went and took your head in his hands, hunching slightly to analyse your face.

“The quirk that hit you! The one that turned you into a cat? Do you not remember? We can call Izuku and Todoroki…”

“What? Okay, explain everything to me.” You narrated everything that happened since you received the call, the story that the two heroes told you and how you ended up with a cat.

“Those bastards pranked you. I’m gonna fucking Howitzer them into their next lifetime; see if they reincarnate in a cat, tch" he said as he hugged you. He rested his head in yours.

“I can’t believe I got pranked on by Izuku and freaking Shoto! How could I fall for that?!”

“You’re a dumbass” he chuckled “Even the name they made up for the villain sounded fake as fuck, and I wasn't even working with them today!”

“They were really convincing, I swear! Even the cat attacked Izuku, I really thought it was you!”

“He attacked him? We should keep it!”

“By the way, where is he?” you broke the embrace to search for the cat and caught him eating the food directly from the pan. You sighed.

“What should he call him?” Katsuki asked.

“We’re keeping him for real?” you asked surprised.

“Yes, whatever. He seems to like your food, and if he doesn’t like Deku, then it’s a plus.” You smiled while rolling your eyes.

“Then we should call him ‘Lord explosion!” Katsuki scoffed.

“Shut up. At least I didn’t confuse that cat with you and then proceeded to act like a nut case once I saw you.”

“Stop! We are so gonna get back at them for this. But I think we need to take care of Lord explosion first…” the cat was digging in one of your plant pots, which he then used as a litter box…

“Oh shit! Literal shit!”

Bonus: Sometime later that day...

“Do you think they’ll adopt the cat?” Izuku asked Todoroki. They were patrolling together. “Yes. But I’m sure once (Y/N) discovers that we lied, she will personally come to scold us”. “But we did it for a good cause! How else would they have taken the cat?” “I’m just surprised she fell for it, and found it amusing even…” Todoroki said in a thoughtful voice. Then, Izuku’s phone rang. It was your number. “What do we do?” Izuku’s nervousness evident in his voice. “I’ll answer” Shoto took the phone from Izuku’s hand and tapped the screen to speak with you, “Yes?” “Count your seconds, because we're coming for you two, including Lord explosion” then you hung up. “They’re adopted him” Todoroki shrugged and gave the phone to Izuku. Then, they continued their patrol, watching out for any other civilian or pet in need.

[peachsukii]

₊✩‧₊ ⇢ birthday boy katsuki!

『 ♡ 』 bakugo x fem!reader (18+ under the cut!) cw; alcohol consumption/tipsy katsuki note; i know canonically it's his 18th, it's his 22nd here. i know it's a tad long for bullet point style, but what can i say? i love this man. -`✧ katsuki bakugo masterlist

✩ you quietly sneak out of bed at 6:30am the morning of katsuki's birthday, trying not to wake him before you get the chance to make him breakfast. he's sound asleep, a soft smile on his lips as his bare chest rises and falls peacefully. you throw on his dynamight hoodie and tip toe to the kitchen.

✩ katsuki had gone to bed earlier than usual last night due to back-to-back patrol shifts, letting you set up a little surprise for him in the living room without him knowing. normally he'd drag you to bed with him, even at 8PM, but he was too exhausted to fight you on it. you'd decorated the living room with a few orange and gold balloons, a small vase of tiger lilies, and a present wrapped in orange paper with a black bow.

✩ he's not much of a sweet breakfast person, so you opt to cook his favorite eggs - soft scrambled with signature hot sauce over rice with some toast and black coffee. you're finishing cutting the scallions for the eggs when you hear katsuki's footsteps approaching from the hallway.

✩ katsuki sleepily stalks up behind you, rubbing his eyes as he wraps his arms around your waist and perches his chin on your shoulder. you turn to kiss his cheek and turn off the heat on the stove. "mornin' baby. wha'cha makin'?" his voice cracks, still in the process of waking up.

✩ "happy birthday, katsuki! made ya breakfast, go sit down." he obliges, squeezing your ass under the hoodie before retreating to the table. you drop the plate and coffee in front of him and sit in the seat next to him. "your favorites - eggs over rice with hot sauce, toast and coffee." he huffs with satisfaction before devouring every single bite off his plate.

✩ once breakfast is finished, you lead katsuki into the living room to open his gift. it's a brand new watch to replace the one he broke months ago - one he's had his eye on since it's release date. all black with gold accents, and on the back, it's engraved with "my number one hero."

✩ katsuki's not much of a party person, so you planned an extravagant dinner with friends instead. later that night, you take him to one of the fanciest places in the city. he's greeted with a table full of friends as a surprise - midoriya, kirishima, todoroki, uraraka, jiro, momo, kaminari, sero, and mina all yell a mish-mash of "happy birthday bakugo/bakubabe/bakubro/kacchan/katsuki!" everyone laughs as katsuki rubs the back of his neck, overwhelmed by the affection.

✩ two hours and plenty of laughs, food and wine later, you and katsuki return home with a handful of gift bags. you can tell he's relieved to be home, but the rose blush creeping up his neck from under his collar gives you a different hint at how he's feeling.

✩ katsuki's unrolling his sleeves and unbuttoning his dress shirt when you approach him, hand on his partially exposed chest. "come lay with me on the couch, i'll give you a massage," is all you need to say for him to follow you silently to the living room. you lay back on the couch, turning on the tv for mindless white noise while he lays face down against your stomach, arms draped around you.

✩ he can't help but groan in ecstasy when your nails scratch against his scalp, fluffing his blonde locks before your hands trail down his neck and to his shoulders. katsuki becomes putty in your hands, melting away any pent up stress in his muscles as you work your fingers through every knot.

✩ "feel good, baby?" you ask. a muffled 'mm' into your abdomen is katsuki's only response after a hefty sigh, his warm breath heating your skin through the fabric of your dress. his fingers lazily trace your sides and down to your thighs while you continue playing with his hair.

✩ you can tell by his mannerisms and the temperature of his skin that he's definitely tipsy, relishing in the toasty glow from the red wine at dinner. the restaurant gave you the remainder of the bottle to take home - enough for half a glass each. caressing his cheek and stroking the underside of his jaw like a cat, he rolls his head to the side to look up at you. "want me to run you a bath, kats? we can finish the wine together, light some candles, maybe some music to wind down for bed." he sits up and shifts to plant a messy kiss to your lips before whispering, "yeah."

✩ grabbing the bottle of wine, you head to the bathroom to set the scene. while the water was running, you'd grabbed a few candles from the closet and your bluetooth speaker, carefully placing them on the counter and leaving the bottle next to the tub. katsuki slinks to the doorway while you're lighting the last candle, ambient music faintly playing throughout the room. he saunters up to you, fingers immediately finding the zipper on your dress and tugging it down. you let the dress slip from your figure and fall to the floor, turning to unbuttoning his shirt and slacks in return.

✩ the two of you settle into the bath together, the sweltering water flushing your skin. katsuki reaches for the wine bottle, bringing it to his lips and letting a stream of liquid run down his chin, dripping down his neck and chest and into the water. without hesitation, you shimmy into his lap, running your tongue through the streams of wine, starting with his chest and ending under his jaw. he bites back the moan bubbling in his throat, the sensation of your tongue making him shiver in anticipation. "that's one way to share it," you purr, shifting to nibble on his earlobe.

✩ he grabs your hips under the water, pulling you flush against him as he dips his head into the crook of your neck, open mouthed kisses lingering over your collarbone and across your cleavage. his voice is low, a little slurred from his intoxicated state, hands roaming from your hips to your back. "you're so fuckin' beautiful, baby."

✩ you cradle his face in your hands, rubies gleaming up at you, stroking his cheeks with your thumbs before pressing your lips onto his, hands slinking around his neck and the water splashing between you as your chests touch. your tongues dance around each other's, the taste of red wine swirling on your taste buds. your hands wander up the back of his neck, playfully scratching at his hairline.

✩ you can feel katsuki stiffening beneath you, his cock tucked snuggly under your slit. you're hands are exploring his chest, submerging them under the water to trace your fingertips down his abs. he stops you, pulling back from your kiss with a pop and a huff. "y'don't...have to. i jus' wanna kiss and hold ya like this."

✩ your chest swells at the hearts in his eyes and how soft his features are under the rosy tint in his cheeks. you smile, pecking him on the nose. "whatever you want, babes. it's your day." you sink against him, laying your head against his chest. you can feel his chest rise and fall with a heavy sigh, cradling you as close as possible, stroking your back absentmindedly.

✩ he lays his head gently lying atop yours, soft snores accompanying the serene music in the room within minutes time. it never fails to make your heart grow three sizes anytime he falls asleep on you - the fact that you make him feel safe enough to doze off with his guard down. faintly, you squeeze his shoulder to wake him up. "let's get you to bed, kats."

✩ out of the bath, cleaned up and ready to pass out, you both flop under the cool covers. katsuki grips your hips and drags your body into his, wrapping his arms around your waist and entangling his legs with your own. his breath tickles your neck as he places multiple kisses to the back of it before settling his head on your shared pillow.

✩ you turn in his hold to face him. "happy birthday, love. i hope it was everything you wished for." katsuki scoffs, leaning forward to leave a long kiss to your plush lips. "'course it was. coulda sat inside all day with ya and it'd be enough."

✩ right after you turn back onto your side, katsuki leans close to the shell of your ear. "thank you, g'night sweets. you can fuck me in the morning." he snickers while laying back on the pillow, moving one of his hands to cup your breast playfully. you know full well it's staying there all night and drift off to sleep with a huff.

✩ the next morning, you stir awake before katsuki does. the sun from the bedroom window illuminates his flawless skin - he looks angelic, blissfully asleep. remembering his words from the night before, you begin to caress his thigh and up to his hip, slinking your hand under the waistband of his boxers. when your fingers gently glide over his shaft, his brows furrow and a grunt rumbles in his chest. his eyes flutter open when your fingers fully wrap around him, your touch featherlight against his sensitive skin. "good mornin' to you, too," he jokes, a hand coming to your jaw to pull you into a kiss with no hesitation.

✩ your grip tightens around his cock while your kiss grows passionate, a gravely moan spilling from katsuki between your lips. "fuck, baby..." he mumbles, breath already shallow from your touch. clothes are soon strewn across the floor and the sheets are a bundled mess while you both ravage one another.

✩ it's not long until your straddling katsuki's hips, sinking down on his dick until your soaked cunt sucks in every inch of him. his pecs and abs display the red scratch marks you've left, along with the pink bite marks on his collarbone. his face twists with pleasure, hands latched onto your hips as you bounce up and down in a steady rhythm. the way you moan coax out his own, his ferocious desire ramping up the volume of his whining the closer he came to release.

✩ katsuki lunges his upper body to meet yours, nipping at your lower lip to pull you down to the bed with him, not letting go of your hips as you increase your tempo. breathless i love yous are exchanged in the midst of your shared high, your hands finding purchase in his blonde locks. you tug on it roughly while he bites your lip again, one final grunt escaping him as you ride through his orgasm. your close to follow, but not before biting and sucking on his neck through his overstimulated cries while he claws at your back in euphoria.

✩ the afterglow is always your favorite part with katsuki, how his beautiful scarlet eyes twinkle with adoration and body fully relaxes. the way he wraps you up, holding you close as he peppers your hair, head, cheeks, nose, lips, neck and collarbone with kisses - it's electrifying. you lie there for a while before speaking up. "ready to go hiking now?" he laughs, wholeheartedly. "no fuckin' way. we're stayin' here until i say so."

⋆ ˚ʚɞ — happy birthday katsuki, you beautiful son of a bitch. my favorite explosive boy deserves to be spoiled & smothered with love. 💖🎀 🎆 tags; @slayfics @maddietries

[saturngas]

fake profile of him on tinder

[🪐] you find a fake profile of gojo on tinder

pairing: gojo satoru x reader

genre: sfw, a bit suggestive

warnings: crack ?? (just me trying to be funny); established relationship; use of gender neutral pet names; gojo is so unserious and can't keep his hands off you

word count: 1.3k

..

..

the sound coming from your phone interrupted your rice ball making. it was a calm evening, your boyfriend was in his office organizing and finishing the pile of paperwork he decided to ignore for a week, while you were at the kitchen making dinner.

you quickly washed your hands before picking up your phone, frowning immediately at the display of the message sent to you.

hey, I don't know what kind of dynamic you have with your boyfriend, but I find his profile on tinder

"what the actual fuck..." you whispered. you certainly did not question gojo's loyalty to you. he was the most perfect partner you could have ever asked for. an unavoidable feeling was boiling at the bottom of your belly as you kept reassuring yourself that this was some kind of lame prank or maybe gojo was ridiculously hacked.

all pessimistic thoughts were easily erased the moment you looked closely at the screenshot attached with the message your friend sent. the pictures presented on the profile were badly cropped screenshots from gojo's instagram public account. the resolution was bad as hell, you almost wanted to laugh at this pathetic fake profile.

the additional information was false too. you knew gojo damn too well to know he doesn't use the words displayed, just as the hobbies and interests were so inaccurate. gojo's occupation as business man? his height was 6'1? his favorite food was spicy yakitori? this is a joke.

still, you wanted to make extra sure this was completely fake, and maybe tease your boyfriend for being an easy target.

"hey handsome," you said with a soft smile as you entered his office. gojo looked at you as if you were his savior, certainly finding a new excuse to stop working.

"hey sweetie pie," his bright smile immediately warmed your face. of course this sweet man was openly and deeply devoted to you. there is just no way he could have an account in some dating app.

as you unlocked your phone and searched for the screenshot, your legs took long strides to finally position yourself on his lap. gojo unconsciously wrapped his heavy arms around your waist, snuggling his face down your neck. he took an exaggerated deep breath, sighing contently at your aroma.

"look at what I found,"you said as softly as you could. you didn't want to come off as angry for something that was obviously out of his knowledge.

with tired eyes, gojo gave a quick glimpse at your screen, which was a little too bight for his own good. you noticed the moment his lips let out an almost inaudible whine. your finger moved quickly to reduce the screen brightness. his poor sensitive eyes.

"baby what are you doing in those apps!?" his voice was laced with unmeasurable sadness, a big pout on his pretty face. he was so dramatic, of course he would say that. "is there something you want to tell me? why did it have to be this way?" his arms locked you in with a tight grip, his large hands dancing around your body. his baby blue eyes were looking down at you with so much betrayal, you were so bad with him.

you couldn’t help but laugh at his dramatics. "please satoru, a friend of mine sent me this," you showed him your previous conversation with your friend to calm him down. his pout lessened, but his grip on you stayed the same.

at the reassurance, his lips started lingering soft kisses along your neck and shoulder, making you giggle and place a small peck on his soft hair.

"stop distracting me toru and answer me if this is you." you tried with a stern voice. he hummed. of course it wasn't his profile, but gojo would actually die if he didn't tease you.

"what if it is, sweetheart?" he said amusingly. his lips wouldn't leave your skin. he didn't care about this fake profile, he just wanted a moment with his darling after the agonizing paperwork he did. he only finished three papers.

"satoruuu, stop playing and tell me," you whined out loud, earning a tighter grip of his toned arms and a bunch of kisses aiming at your collarbone and exposed skin of your chest. "im gonna start crying if you don't tell me the truth."

"nah uh baby, only I can say that."

his mouth never seemed to get tired when it came to giving you kisses. his lips moved to your chin and jawline, wet kisses now on your cheekbone as his teeth threatened to gnaw on your skin.

"satoru stop. im starting to get mad," of course you weren't, your giggles and burning cheeks said otherwise. but gojo didn't have a stop button when you were with him. you started mumbling angry words that couldn't come out complete because gojo now started attacking your mouth.

"baby please stop talking and let me kiss you hard," your boyfriend said with a loud whine when you moved your head to the opposite side to avoid his lips. a large hand of his came to your legs and grabbed them with force to place you completely on top on him. one of his arms gripping your legs while the other was around your upper body, his hand grabbing your face. gojo was so unserious. he wasn't paying attention to your rambling about what now? a fake profile of him on tinder?

small whines coming from your lips were quickly silenced by his loudly expressed smooches. the white haired sorcerer hadn't seen you since he locked himself in to try and finish the boring part of his job. each second that he passed without you, he felt several cells dying in each of his organs, which may have led to him slowly shutting down if it wasn't for you storming into his office.

gojo's lips moved softly around yours, his tongue impatient to enter inside your mouth and start dancing around your own. your free hand moved to his soft white locks and pulled slightly. he let out a small moan that you savored deliciously.

he was distracting you so bad from the main reason you even came to see him. he was so damn good at it and you were so weak for him.

"baby okay, stop for a second," you said between his lips, but since he didn't have any intentions to move, you pulled gently at his hair to pull him away. "just look at this and you can go back to kiss me okay?"

"but I already looked at it, sweets~," a long whine escaped from his lips.

"yeah but analyze it and ponder over it."

gojo side eyed you so hard you wanted to chuckle at his face. the tall man finally grabbed your phone and stared at the screen intently. he squinted his sparkling blue eyes even though the screen brightness was set at the lowest.

a few seconds passed when the boisterous laugh that your boyfriend let out almost startled you. his head went flying backwards as his chest moved in sync with his addictive guffaw.

"sweets if you actually believed this I fear we need to have that pretty little head of yours checked," he was so dumb. "this is so poorly made. I hope this person doesn't get any bitches."

you couldn't help but crack a smile at his comment and lightly smack the back of his head.

"I know satoru, but I just wanted to make sure you were still in your senses," you took your phone from his grasp and tossed it somewhere on his desk as you came closer to his pretty face, a boyish smile playing on his features when you caress his sharp jawline.

satoru was glad you were done with this senseless concern as he resumed to kiss you vigorously.

[morosluvbug]

let me take care of you - haikyuu characters

ft. kita, osamu, bokuto

⊹ genre - sugary fluff hcs

⊹ gender neutral reader

⊹ synopsis - reader is sick ohhh noo

⊹ A/N - period cramps are kicking my ass so im projecting my haikyuu faves taking care of me please help.

. shinsuke kita

"Your troubles are mine, let me take care of everything."

he is the best at taking care of you no contest, and knows exactly what to do and what your recovery timeline will look like.

he is a tiny bit scared of getting sick. the man has a routine he needs to follow and cannot allow himself to get sick!

still so attentive though, he will just be approaching with a mask. loves you too much to stay away!!

has tea constantly running, a meal schedule planned out, and will not let you leave the bed unless it is crucial to your health to go on walks to rebuild strength.

still has to attend to the rice farm!! but makes sure you are okay before he leaves and frequently checks in when he gets the chance.

very honest about the timeline of your recovery, especially if it's a nasty virus. but praises you so much, will constantly soothe your worries and tell you everything will be okay.

he just loves you so bad. he will soothe any muscle aches, prepare any cold/hot pads, do anything to make sure you are as happy as possible, and just wants to comfort you in any way he can.

runs you warm baths and will wash your hair and scrub you down, even going as far as helping you with your skincare (oh I need him). leaves you with his shirt since he will be gone most of the day.

will be giving you a sad puppy look when you're feeling particularly horrible. he just wants to take it all away :(

. osamu miya

"Give me your hand, we'll get through this together."

you tell him not to come near you, he still has a restaurant to run and can't afford to risk getting sick and serving people!

this man. he is not scared of getting sick. he definitely built his immune system through eating dirt with atsumu or something when they were little.

trust he will be glued to your side, he's the boss of Onigiri Miya! he's gonna take the time off and leave a detailed list of how to do everything for his employees, with his number left ONLY for emergencies.

if he does end up having to run to Onigiri Miya, he will be speed running getting down to the store, getting the issue solved, and running back home with anything you want as an apology.

you might be able to catch him on the phone with his mom while you're fading in and out of consciousness. he's trying his absolute best to treat your ailment :(

he will cook anything you want, tries to stick to a strict plan of soups and proteins but if you really want something specific he will fold automatically.

sits around and watches any movies or tv you want. he is so whipped he will run to get any sweets or takeout you want.

he will definitely call kita if he is really stressed about your health. he just wants the best for you and that comes before everything, even his pride.

not scared to kiss you or cuddle you, despite any protesting on your side of things to stay away.

he is so firm about you resting up as much as possible, this man will be sprinting down the hallway for anything as small as a cup of water.

overall, he makes the whole process really easy. will not allow any tears to be shed and wants his partner to be happy

. kotaro bokuto

"let me ease your worries, we'll beat this in no time! "

oh, poor bokuto. he has no idea what he's doing.

sad bokuto on the phone with akaashi and kiyoomi every five minutes. he loves you so bad but probably has 1) never had to take care of someone 2) has never had to take care of himself

if you live together at this point, he has anything that you've bought in the past. but if you're spending time at his place. oh, good luck!

he’s just a bit silly is all. knows nothing about medicine or foods you should be eating.

he is not scared of getting sick and DEFINITELY gets sick with you. but he isn't bothered at all, it does just mean more time with you after all.

he tries his best overall, will carry you everywhere (even when he gets sick) will try to cook and will entertain you as much as possible.

you might. have to sit with him in the kitchen while he cooks for you both. even if it's just him heating up canned soup and pouring it into a cup. please help him.

kisses you and holds you and and and

similar to osamu, he is wrapped around you the whole time, this man is glued to your side. he has molded himself to your very being. if you leave to go to the restroom he will be pouting. throwing a fit every time you leave.

he just tries to make you laugh and tries to comfort you :( capitalize on this moment because he spoils you so bad while you’re sick !! if you thought he spoiled you before oh no. he will be buying you any plushy he even thought you might like.

you want him to read for you? done. want your nails painted but are too weak? consider it done. want him to juggle random household objects for you? they might end up broken but he'll try.

overall: wants you to be happy. he’s so silly but so love-stricken that anything you want from him he will do.

reblogs notes and replies are appreciated!! <3

A/N. first fic in a long time hope you enjoyed my shitty hcs ^_^

[tetedurfarm]

i promised y'all recipes but i forgor

it's ok im fixing it now tho

anyway. hi. hello. i eat a lot of rabbit. i am also blessed by god to be one of the few, the chosen, the descended from the acadians who were blessed with the ability to cook food that doesn't suck. you can trust me. màmaw cécil's ici.

just a fair warning though these recipes kinda assume you have basic cooking skills, and things are measured with the heart as my ancestors intended.

onward to the recipes

the tried. the true. the rabbit gumbo

one whole rabbit

half an onion

one package of andouille sausage (or other spicy pork sausage)

a bell pepper if you like

some okra if you like

some garlic

a jar of dark roux (savoie's is my go-to)

tony chacherie's

tabasco

filé

a good long-grain rice

debone the rabbit and cut into chunks, or pressure cook until it falls off the bones. you can also cook the rabbit IN the gumbo but this method takes a long time and is a PITA, but you do get all the good rabbit grease in the gumbo.

fill a large stock pot about 3/4 the way up with water and set to boil. add salt until it's salty to the taste. add about five to seven heaping spoonfuls of roux and let it dissolve while the pot comes to a boil.

while you wait, chop the onion and bell pepper into a rough dice and add it to the pot. i'm sure someone's màmaw will tell you what to do with okra, but i don't like it so idk. i just know some people put it in their gumbo. not me tho. tbh i don't even like bell peppers but it's traditional. anyway you can put some garlic in too. and tony's. lots of tony's.

cut the sausage into about quarter inch rounds and throw 'em in too. if you did not precook your rabbit, add it now. if you did precook, you can add it once the vegetables and sausage are cooked. around this time is also when i put the rice on.

once all the meat is done cooking, taste for seasoning and adjust as desired. it should be salty and a little spicy (or a lot, if you aren't a coward.) now all you have to do is wait for the rice to finish.

when everything is done, scoop some rice into a deep bowl (a soup crock is ideal) and pour gumbo over, making sure you get a bit of everything. top with tabasco to taste, and a healthy dash of filé.

some variety of sausage

1 - 2lbs of ground rabbit

soy sauce

garlic rice wine vinegar (if you can't find it, normal RWV works just add more garlic)

rubbed sage

garlic powder

minced garlic (if not using garlic RWV) (or if you just want it)

brown sugar

drizzle a little oil (i like using sesame oil) in a saucepan and put in ground rabbit. as it cooks, cut it up into small chunks with your utensil. once it's cooked, throw in all the rest of the everything and season with salt and pepper and a little msg if you got it. measure with your heart and taste as you go. you are shooting for a sort of savoury-sweet thing going on. it should be closer to a breakfast sausage in taste.

this goes really good in a dumpling, fried into a patty, or turn it into a white gravy with some milk and flour and put it over rice with creamed corn for a nontraditional but still delicious rice and gravy.

german rabbit stew

this one is just a link because someone else made it up but it's real good: https://honest-food.net/german-rabbit-stew/

alfredo mushroom rabbit pasta

roughly one cup per person's worth of cooked, shredded rabbit

as many portobello mushrooms as your heart desires

minced garlic

a jar of alfredo (or make your own i ain't your mom)

your pasta of choice

pretty straightforward. put your pasta on to boil (we like penne.) chop up your mushrooms and sweat them out in a saucepan. when they're cooked enough, toss in the alfredo, the minced garlic, and your rabbit. season with salt/pepper/whatever else you like to taste. when the pasta is done, combine pasta and rabbit mixture and enjoy

just the filling part of pei wei's lettice wraps but on rice instead

1lb ground rabbit

half an onion

garlic

hoisin sauce

teriyaki sauce

hot chili oil

green onion (grunion)

sesame seeds

short-grain rice

set your rice to cook. when it's almost done, roughly dice onion and set it to cook in a little oil (i like seasme for this.) when it turns translucent, add ground rabbit and garlic. once the rabbit is cooked, throw all the other sauces in to taste. it should be hoisin-forward, a little sweet and savoury. add some cayenne and more chili oil, maybe some gochujang, whatever, if you want more spice. eat it with rice and top with sesame seeds and grunions, i like some shichimi togarashi too sometimes. maybe a lil fried egg if you're feeling sassy.

i made this up from a dupe recipe for a lettuce wrap i liked at a restaurant so you could put it in lettuce too if you wanted. i just don't ever buy a whole head of lettuce.

weird midwestern chili

1-2lbs of ground rabbit

half an onion

garlic

one large can or two small cans of petite diced tomatoes

1-2 habañero peppers (or none if you're yankee)

some sort of stock or broth, or water and a bouillon cube

chili powder

sometimes corn is nice in this if you have it

pasta of your choice

i use my instant pot for this, but you can do it without one in a normal stockpot, it'll just take longer.

brown the rabbit in a little bit of oil with the pot on sauté. while you wait, chop up the onion, garlic, and pepper. when the rabbit is browned, throw everything else in the pot besides the pasta. pressure cook for about 15-20 minutes.

in the meantime, set a pot of pasta to boil. we like farfalle.

when the chili is done cooking, season further to taste with more chili powder, cayenne, tony's, whatever you like. serve on the pasta. i know, i know, it ain't chili to me either, but that's what my friend's minnesotan family calls it and whatever it is, it's damn good so i forgive them.

rice that is dirty AND ugly

1-2lbs ground rabbit

half an onion

garlic i guess

about four or five rabbit or chicken livers

long-grain rice

tony's

set the rice to cook. brown the livers in some oil until they are just barely not-raw. then blitz 'em up in a food processer until they are mush. while you do this, brown some ground rabbit and onion and garlic if you want it in a saucepan. when it's browned, add the livers and just. stir it all together. if it's too dry you can add stock or some water. does it look horrible? you're doing it right. season to taste once it's cooked through. add in rice and mix. i promise to god it tastes better than it looks.

for bonus points, mush dirty rice into balls and dredge in egg and seasoned cornmeal and deep fry or air fry until golden brown. ta da, your very own boudin balls.

i guess you can also run the mixture into a sausage casing for 'normal' boudin too.

('but what about the gizzards cécil' i have tried for years and i can't make gizzards palatable. they just end up weird and tough and i don't like the texture in the dirty rice. you know how to make 'em work, you go for it.)

mexican meatloaf that is neither mexican nor meatloaf

1lb ground rabbit

half an onion

garlic

one can of petite diced tomatoes

one can of whole corn

one can of pork n beans

(optional can of kidney beans or other bean you like)

taco seasoning

shredded yellow cheese

sour creme

tabasco

fritos

chop onion into a rough dice and put in a saucepan with a little oil. when onion is translucent, throw in rabbit to brown. when meat is cooked, thrown in everything that comes in a can, and the taco seasoning. i use about half a packet, but you can do to taste. once it's cooked, spoon over fritos and top with shredded cheese and sour creme. i like a dash of tabasco too.

absoutely a 'hear me out recipe' but if you like frito pie you will probably like this. most importantly, though, it makes a TON of food and for very cheap. excellent end of the month meal. also idk why it's called mexican meatloaf that's just what my mom called it and i'm pretty sure she made it up herself lol

rabbit jambalaya that makes my ancestors cry

approximately one half a rabbit's worth of shredded rabbit

one can of petite diced tomatoes

andouille or other spicy pork sausage

half an onion

bell pepper if ya like it

celery if ya like it

rabbit or chicken stock/broth

tony's

long-grain rice

if you are starting with a whole rabbit, either debone, chop into chunks, and cook, or pressure cook the rabbit until it falls off of the bone. set your rice to cook.

chop veggies and toss em in a saucepan with a little bit of oil or butter. sauté until soft, then add your tomatoes, broth, andouille, and rabbit. when it's all warmed through, add the rice in and mix. season with tony's, crab boil, cayenne, whatever, to taste. put some tabasco on that bitch before you eat, and enjoy.

(my ancestors cry because i'm cajun and traditionally we don't put tomatoes in our jambalaya. mais c'est bon, escuse-moi les anciens.)

creme cheese rabbit joes or whatever

one whole rabbit

one block of creme cheese

one packet of ranch seasoning

jar of pickled jalapeños

shredded cheddar cheese

your favourite burger bun

we use an instant pot, i guess you could probably do it on a stove if you had to but keep an eye on the liquid levels. pressure cook rabbit with half of the ranch seasoning packet and as much jalapeño juice as you want (it should have a kick.) when meat is tender, remove bones and drain liquid into another container (it makes a great stock if you want something with a little pizzaz.)

turn the instant pot on saute, and then put meat, creme cheese, cheddar cheese, jalapeños to taste, the rest of the ranch powder if you want, and as much jalapeño juice or the stock you just made until it's the consistency you want. it should be pretty creamy and a little gloopy. toast your buns, slop the goop on, and enjoy.

well these are the ones i can remember off top my head/that i actually eat regularly. we also make burgers and stir fry and curry rice and shit too, but those are like...y'know. don't really need a recipe for burgers and stir fry.

go forth and eat your fuckin animals

[rosielovesspence]

Late Night Talking

Content: Your poor boyfriend Reid just has to talk about how he feels. Reverse comfort! He's such a sweetheart :(

Working with the B.A.U. really was a tole taking job. Even more so when you got told you were a room down at the hotel. "You can room with me if you want." It was Reid's quiet voice next to you, "I don't feel much like sleeping so you can have the bed." He gave you that tired smile, the small one that had you knowing that he really didn't feel like sleeping.

Even after you'd both settled in the room and sat comfortably on the bed you could tell he wouldn't sleep so you laid down first. "Lay down." you mumbled and he did so, albeit awkwardly but he laid beside you. "Do you think I'm strange?" it was quiet, an almost unnoticeable whisper. "Strange? Why would I think that?" You could see from your peripherals that Reid was messing with his hands, anxiously thinking. "Talk to me, Spence."

At that he was quiet for a moment. "I just know I'm odd. I use words like betwixt and I know what ballads are. I seem to talk too much and never notice that people don't like what I'm talking about. My favorite shows are nerdy and I always explain them to people who don't care. I go on and on about things the team finds creepy or weird. Derek says I'll never get a date if I keep being this way and I'm starting to see his point, I'm lacking in the boyfriend department and I can't even make friends. You know, the team tells me their secrets and I think it's because they know I have no one else to tell. Did you know J.J. collects butterflies? Or that Derek secretly likes The Smiths? Or that Hotch is fond of chocolate flavored sweets? Emily likes deathmetal. Penelope's favorite television program is Vampire Diaries."

Reid turned to you as he spoke, looking at you as if he might cry. He felt so estranged compared to everyone else, you seemed to be the only one who listened. You didn't even talk when he was done, letting him continue. "I just know all this stuff about everyone, and I feel like no one knows me." You nodded softly and finally talked after a beat of silence. "Chocolate frosted donuts with rainbow sprinkles." Reid was instantly confused by this, raising a brow. "Excuse me?" '

You chuckled, "Your favorite donut. Emily told me." A small smile graced his lips at this. "And Derek said you really like chicken tandoori." His smile only seemed to widen. "And you put three whole tablespoons of sugar in your coffee according to J.J." You seemed like you weren't going to stop anytime soon and he looked so contented he didn't want you to. "And Hotch says you like pretzels and rice crispy treats. Pen says you grew up with horses and that you adore Halloween and all its traditions. Gideon told me you loved classical music and chess, he even saw you play piano once. And you're never lacking in the boyfriend department because you've been nothing but perfect. You're the sweetest man alive and I wish you'd ramble to me every second of the day because your voice is lovely."

He seemed about ready to cry as he moved his hand to touch your cheek. "You're too good to me," he whispered, kissing your forehead, "Thank you. I feel much better sweetheart." You give him a small smile and a kiss. "That's good, now let's get some sleep you look exhausted."

[sen-ya]

part 5/7

is it silly that this is my favorite in this series? i really enjoyed writing kaya and I wanna do it again at some point :')

[op comic masterpost]

[pg1] panel 2: Kaya: Oh! Dr. Law! I didn't expect to find you in our library.

panel 3: Law: K-Kaya-ya!

panel 4: Law: Uh. Ahem. Excuse me. I hope you don't mind me borrowing your books.

panel 5: Kaya: Oh of course not! I'm just shocked to hear we have books you don't! What are you studying?

panel 6: Law: UHHHHH

[pg2] panel 10: Kaya: Oh! Is someone on your crew pregnant? Ikkaku??

panel 11: Law (thinking): She doesn't know Ikkaku is trans. Does she not know that I am?? I just assumed Nose-ya would have mentioned it. But that makes sense. If Straw Hat didn't already know Nose-ya was trans it's not like I would have told him.

panel 12: Kaya: ...?

panel 13: Law (thinking): Fuck, I've been quiet too long. I can't throw Ikkaku under to bus. Just say something.

panel 14: Law: No. Kaya: Oh. Then why...? Law (thinking): Wait, shit

[pg3] panel 15: Law: My, uh...brother...'s...wife. Yeah, we're taking him back to Zou soon...because his wife is pregnant...and I...want...to help...?

panel 16: Kaya: Oh, how sweet! Congrats "Uncle Law" hehe. If you have any questions I could help with let me know!! I specialized in traumatic injury, but I did deliver a few babies in Syrup Village! On smaller islands like that you wear a lot of hats.

panel 17: Law: And you've...been pregnant. Kaya: Well, yeah, but I wasn't my own doctor! Could you imagine if I had tried to deliver the twins myself? Even a doctor needs a doctor, you know that.

panel 18: Law: ...right.

panel 19: Law: ...what...what was it like?

panel 20: Kaya: Oh, my pregnant patients were actually pretty fun! I suppose it makes sense that as a pirate ship doctor you wouldn't have had to know obstetrics. But it was always so lovely to hand a parent their--

[pg4] panel 21: Kaya: ...newborn...baby...?

panel 23: Kaya: ...I'm sorry, Dr. Law. If there's context I need you'll have to give it to me. I'm not good at guessing.

panel 24: Law: What do you mean, I just gave you context. Kaya: With all due respect, you're full crying. It's a new sight for me!

panel 25: Kaya: You can tell me what's going on! I'm told I'm a very good listener

panel 26: Law: ...You Straw Hats sure are a pain Kaya: Sorry, hehe

panel 28: Law: ...I...ahem...so number one, if you didn't know...I'm...I'm trans.

panel 29: Law: But not like your husband. He got the works from Ivankov-ya...I never felt the need to seek that out.

[pg5] panel 30: Kaya: ...I see

panel 31: Kaya: How far along are you? Law: ..12 weeks, give or take. Kaya: Well, I've provided obstetric care of all kinds. So whatever questions you're researching here...why don't you ask me instead of being your own doctor?

panel 32: Law: ...Same question. What was it like?

panel 33: Kaya: Being pregnant was a horror show!

panel 34: Law: A glowing review. Kaya: Oh, sorry! I can lie if you'd prefer!

panel 35: Kaya: I was just so sick my first trimester! Law (speaking over her): KAYA-YA I THOUGHT I WAS DYING FOR TWO WEEKS WHEN WILL IT STOP I CAN ONLY EAT RICE.

panel 36: Kaya: It's different for everyone. By the end it wasn't quite so bad for me, though. And I love my kids so much. They were such cute newborns!! So I was alright being uncomfortable for awhile. Because that's what we wanted, you know?

panel 37: Kaya (off screen): What do you and Luffy want, Dr. Law?

[pg6] panel 38: Law: ...We haven't decided yet. We're giving it to the end of the week. I'm trying to think about it rationally. But I just keep getting emotional any time I talk about it. It's strange.

panel 39: Kaya: An emotional decision and a bad decision aren't inherently synonymous, you know.

panel 40: Law: ...your bedside manner is impeccable, Dr. Kaya-ya. Kaya: Well, thank you! Next time let's meet in the infirmary, mine or yours.

panel 41: Kaya: I'll be your doctor through this, okay?

panel 42: Law: ...Okay...Thank you. Kaya: Of course!

[the-cat-and-the-birdie]

I bet Miguel can cook REALLY well.

Like CRAZY WELL.

Being a dad he did have to come up with something to eat for dinner every night

And with Gabriella being a bit picky, sometimes he had to get creative

And some of his favorite memories are the conversations he and Gabbie had while dinner was on the stove

But even now, he loves it. Miguel finds he act of cooking so relaxing. He likes the peace and the order of it

And even if he comes in really really late from HQ - he'll still try and cook something

Fighting sleep while cooking a quesadilla on the stove

He's a Sazon loyalist SORRY ADOBO STANS

There's always tortillas, sour cream and salsa verde in his fridge - freshly made

(if you got those you can figure something out)

And he grows his own cilantro and basil on the window sill

And he'll never use powdered garlic, only fresh

Yes he can eat garlic - yes people on campus ask him that a lot

(he's hot ACTUALLY a vampire)

His seafood is TO DIE FOR

Miguel can make amazing lobster tail, or crab legs (with Old Bay and butter of course)

And his Ceviche is SO GOOD and SO FRESH

Most likely makes everything spicy. It's not even that he 'loves' spicy food - He just makes it spicy AF and acts like he doesn't notice

MEANWHILE you're next to him and it hurts to breathe

He and Hobie are bean stans.

Miguel loves them in Chilli con Carne, with rice, refried, you name it

and Hobie goes through those British blue cans of Heinz baked beans like it's nobodies business

They both think beans are underrated

Makes AMAZING MOLE and even better Tamales

But you have to BEG him for weeks on end to get him to make Tamales cause he can't be bothered - and he will make you help

He likes Avocado, like in general. On toast, with eggs, guacamole use always a staple

He'll often just eat chips and guacamole the whole day in his office and he'll get pissed if the food court is out of it.

Well look at a corn shell ground beef taco and be like 'You think that's a taco? Is that what you honestly believe?'

Loves cooking with other people - in fact Miguel actually just likes working with people in general. That's why Lyla has a personality.

He's good at guiding others during cooking and teaching them things and not bossing them around

OBSESSED LIKE CONCERNINGLY SO

With mango and Tajin

He'll put Tajin seasoning on ANYTHING - the first time Jess saw him put it on watermelon she was like 'what for????'

But he loves fruit in general, watermelon, lychee, guava. A lot of them are grown fresh in the Society gardens

Strawberries are a favorite of his. Gabriella loved strawberries on pancakes

He pronounces lychee - Leechee (not Lie-chee)

He's the fucking PRO at protein shakes and milkshakes

The man needs workout fuel and whey powder and kale and potassium and-

He's in the kitchen 5am getting ready for the gym

Making a shit ton of peanut butter strawberry banana and oats protein smoothie with coconut milk and honey to sweeten

Because he does have a sweet tooth.

Jolly Ranchers are an oral fixation

You can hear him sucking on one, the quiet clacking of it.

Or see him press it into his cheek, lost in thought

But baking and sweets are his secret love

He just doesn't have anyone to test it on anymore - so he doesn't

His flan is the best, and it was one of Gabbie's show faves

He eats parfaits pretty often, and makes them a lot for Jess (and she teases it for it)

Miguel LOVES tres leches cake, as sweet as possible. And fancy stuff like creme brulee

Don't tell anyone but he actually really likes cheesecake he acts like it's a secret

With him cooking get ready for the most sugariest breakfast ever. It's a dad thing.

Whipped cream, fruits, syrup, chocolate chips, you name it.

Sure Miguel shouldn't have been giving Gabriella THAT much sugar THAT early - but with you it's fine so enjoy the stomach ache in two hours

Another dad thing:

COOK OUT FOOD.

Him and Peter get INTENSE.

Miguel swears by charcoal grills, Peter likes propane and gas

Miguel is the tio with the best Hot dogs and relish that HITS

Peter is the burger dad who spends an insane amount of money on Angus beef

Miguel judges your hot dog toppings but says nothing

His ELOTE???? EUPHORIC

Like,,, it'll bring you to tears it's so good - I don't know how he does it

And when it comes to cooking he's ALWAYS willing to learn

He'd rather invite you over and cook you something than going out to eat

He'll learn something you like or where you're from and make something from there

Even better if you can teach him how to make something - the two of you can make it together

But his favorite part by far is setting it down at the table, trying not to seem like he's watching your reaction

And seeing your face light up at the first bite

Or even better -

Seeing you collapse into bed with a food coma

Miguel with cooking and food as a love language

[asktheritochampion]

I’ve noticed that lots of your recent questions have been… quite violent. Either that or entirely nonsensical(*cough* Tulin *cough*). While those questions are quite interesting, and provide fascinating insight into many facets of your personality, I can’t imagine they’re easy to go through all day. As a return to the more mundane questions, what are your preferences towards baked goods? And are you aware of the other champion’s preferences?

I'll admit, it is a refreshing change to be asked something reltively mundane.

I personally don't eat a lot of baked goods, my diet is very protien and vegtable based to maintain by sleek and muscular form. However, I can appreciate Rito baking for special occations such as festivals and holidays.

My personal favourites of our traditional bakes are hot pepper windmills. They're a fairly simple butter pastry containing pepper jam and glazed in honey. Because Rito lack the heat/pain response from capsaicin, 'hot' peppers taste...well, just rather sweet and floral to us. Thus these pasteries are a sweet treat for Rito but almost inedible to most other races.

A few other worthy mentions would be bakes such as wildberry towers, which are small circles of fluffy vanilla cake filled with wildberries and jam. We grow a lot of wildberries in Hebra so wildberry cakes are fairly traditional at celebrations. We make them into thin, tall towers because Rito swalow our food whole and that's an easy shape for it.

There's also some fairly acceptable savoury bakes. A warrior pie is a pouch of shortcrust pastry filled with baked and spiced chicaloo nuts and acorns. Nuts are a very large part of the Rito diet and good for our digestion, and are a good sorce of protien in the winter when the meat is scarse. They're called warrior pies because they are sturdy for travel, keep for a long time, and are very dense to fill you up; so traditionally they're a food that warriors take with them into battle.

Then there's a baked good we Rito rather enjoy frightening Hylians with called a baked rat. Contrary to the name, it is not, in fact, a baked rodent. It's a sort of pancake-esq batter filled with finely chopped bird meat and potatos, usually coloured red with hot pepper juices, and glazed with a sugarcane shell and sprinkled with herbs. The gimick is that they 'burst' when you break them in half and look like the vicera of a dead animal, which is appealing to the preditor instincts of a Rito. The reason they became called baked rats is because during the harsh winters, sometimes bird meat would be scarce, and in times of famine when the Village has been unable to get meat, we've turned to other sorces of protien such as insects. For a long time it was traditional to add earth worms in replacement of meat, which people would tell their fledglings were 'rat tails' to make them seem less unapealing. It amuses me greatly that whenever a Hylian visits the village and see's a treat being consumed with the name 'baked rat' that the featherless blights tend to lose all color in their faces and make a hasty exit.

As for the other Champions, I'm unfamiliar with their preferences. Zora have a hard time processing a large amount of glutenous foods, thus most of their diet tends to avoid tabantha wheat. However I know Mipha has made cookies before using flour made from rice. I can't imagine Daruk eating many baked goods, as the Gorons typically consume mostly rocks. Due to my inability to enter Gerudo Town, I'm unaware of what foods are popular amongst the Gerudo, however I have seen Urbosa enjoy a variety of Hyllian bakes at the Castle.

Both the Princess and her little shadow practically gorge themselves on an enormous variety of baked treats when at the castle. There's forever servants rushing around, setting up lengthy tables with huge amounts of facinating foods - more than any one princess could ever eat. I couldn't name them all if I tried.

[akkivee]

A Sweet Yellow Curry You Just Can't Stop Eating!: Hypmic Curry Drama Track TL

Ramuda: Okay! ☆ It’s great to see everyone has been serious in making some curry!

Gentaro: Well, though this event feels capricious by nature, it’s still a battle I do not wish to lose.

Dice: Can we hurry up and eat already? I’m so hungry I could pass out!

*beeping noise*

Ramuda: Ah, rice is done! Plating time~!

Gentaro: Oh, and you’ve prepared our curry to go with it. Then shall we try Ramuda’s curry first?

Ramuda: Okaaaay! Eat up everyone! ☆

Gentaro: Let’s see. *throws it up*

Dice: *loud eating noises but also spits it back up*

Gentaro: What in the world…??

Ramuda: I call it, “Sweet Like Honey Curry!!!!!!☆”

Gentaro: Y-You say sweet like honey, but I think I’ve been assaulted by the amount of sugar…

Ramuda: That’s because I used honey instead of water!

Dice: M-My throat is on fire…W-Water… I need water…!!

Ramuda: So I was thinking of how to stand out from the other divisions and decided to try something completely original! What do you think??

Dice: What do I think?? Is food just a game to you??

Ramuda: That’s so mean!! I thought long and hard about this!

Gentaro: There are still other curries to get through. So, let’s eat mine next.

Ramuda: Uh, it looks like yellow soup… Is this really okay to eat?

Gentaro: Since we, as a team, have a pop image, I thought it would be remiss to not incorporate that in the curry.

Dice: …But I don’t see any actual food in it.

Gentaro: Because of anticipated mass reproduction in the pursuit of commercialization, I have decided a liquid only curry would be most suitable. And to compensate for the lack of ingredients, I used butter for richness in taste.

Ramuda: That’s such a lonely sounding curry…

Gentaro: What ever is the matter? Please, eat up.

Dice: *loud eating noises* …??

Ramuda: …Mmm, it’s gross… I really don’t wanna say it, but I don’t like this…

Gentaro: Is that so? Do tell me why; however, if I find your reasoning lacking, I simply will continue to serve you this roux.

Ramuda: Nooooo!! I don’t want anymore of the yellow stuff!!!

Dice: How dare you treat food like it’s a joke!! …Geez, obviously neither of y’all know what you’re doing. Curry is meant to be paired with rice!! None of your flavours helps elevate the taste of white rice!! Now this is real curry! Eat your heart out and understand that this is what it means to be one with the flavour of rice!!

Ramuda: *eats*

Gentaro: *eats* …Hm.

Dice: How is it?? Doesn’t it make you want to eat more??

Ramuda: I mean I could but… it’s just a normal curry? Like how is this any different from a regular chicken curry?

Dice: Are you blind?? If you looked in the pot right now, you could clearly see a huge amount of locally raised chicken went into this!!

 Gentaro: Well, I can certainly see how many chicken bones are in the curry.

Dice: Hahaha! haaa… Weeeell, I guess I did get hungry and ate some while making it!

Ramuda: *eats* …hm?? Wait, you gotta try this!!

Gentaro: ? You mixed mine and Dice’s curries together…? *eats* …Oh my!

Dice: It’s so good!! Who would have thought my curry and that yellow junk actually combined really well??

 Gentaro: Then perhaps… Let’s try adding some of that absurdly sugary curry to this!

Ramuda: Sweet Like Honey Curry coming right up~!

Dice: Hey, this actually looks really good!

Posse: *eats* !!

Ramuda: Woooooow!! I’ve never had curry like this before!!

Gentaro: I can’t believe we’ve stumbled upon creating such a masterpiece…!

Dice: *excessively loud eating noises* This spoon’s not stoppin’!!

Ramuda: Aaalright, then that settles it! ☆ Let’s combine all of our curries!!

Dice: Looks great!! There’s no way we’re losing with this curry!

Gentaro: Precisely! On that note, what shall we name it? “Posse Curry” possesses little impact…

Ramuda: Hmmmm… How about, “The Sweet Yellow Liquid You Can’t Stop Eating!”

Dice: Sounds good to me!

Gentaro: However, I made a curry, not a mere liquid.

Ramuda: Oh yeah? Sowwies☆ Then we’ll call it, “The Sweet Yellow Curry You Can’t Stop Eating!”

Gentaro: It certainly has a nice ring to it.

Dice: Heh heh, it sure does!

Ramuda: And with this curry, our victory is guaranteed!! ☆

[indecenthoney]

As Sweet as She Tastes

-------------------------------------------

"You know... I never really understood why he had flashback when he ate the rat's pepperoni thing... What the fuck do you mean it's not pepperoni? You know... Ratatouille's dish? The thing he made... His name is not Ratatouille... Remy? Hey! Chill chill... I was watching I promise... Hahaha... But damn... You're telling me a shrimp, fried this rice? Hahaha... Okay okay, I'll stop... So what? You want another gummy? Or..."

It's been some time since me and friend hung out. Luckily, our schedules matched up giving us a couple of days to spend as we please. What better way to catch up and have than to get high and binge Disney movies? I've always been quite a lightweight. I could never seem to focus but every other sense was always heightened. It was a fun little experience. Sometimes I think about this day a lot. And what would've happened if I acted on my urges a little more.

"Hm... Good movie... Mm... Maybe 8/10... Well it's my opinion now, isn't it? C'mon, let's go take a little breather outside... We can watch another movie when we come back... By the way, did you make sure to hide my spare house key? You really gotta start telling me when you let yourself in here... You're always giving me heart attacks... Ugh fuck.. Alright, let's go... I need to stretch my legs ... I don't know how you girls do it sometimes... but I can't sit in place all day... Oh yeah? Stop being lazy... I will literally carry you outside if I have to... H-hey let go... Dude... Seriously... I'mma trip... Ow fuck... I told you... You okay?"

I'm not one for cliches but as fate would have it, I ended up tripping over her. Landing on top of her. Gazing into each other's eyes; completely silent. At that moment, I panicked and tried to pay attention to something other than the look she gave me. As I mentioned, every sense of mine was heightened while high. She smelled of strawberries. Lips coated in strawberry lip balm. Even her personality was as sweet as a strawberry. Despite treating her like one of the guys, she was still a lady. And within an instant, her arms coiled around my neck pulling me in for a kiss. That moment of awkwardness must have felt like an eternity to her. There was a sense of desperation as her lips interlocked with mine trying to seek some sort of reciprocation. My mind was all too hazy to process all of this and I pulled back.

"I... uhm... S-sorry I was... H-hey wait... Where are you going? We should... talk about this..."

Without a word, she rushed out the door with a pained look on her face. I felt deep regret and wondered where it would have gone if I had just been a little more greedy. A little more honest with what I wanted. My mind sometimes wanders back to that day every time I smell strawberries fills my head. Nothing really happened after that day, we never spoke of it either. She had acted like she always has with me. A jovial entity that let nothing ruin her day. Even if we did spend a lot of time together, it felt like I never really knew the real her. Always putting on that brave face; putting people first.

"Sorry? Did you say something? I was kind of blanking out... No, I am not high... I just had some things on my mind... What did you want to talk about? Yeah, dude... You can tell me anything... If it's bugging you then we should talk about it... Oh? Good news... That's good! What's up? You... got a boyfriend? Wait wait wait... since when? You didn't tell me you were talking to anybody... I... well... yeah... You don't exactly tell me everything... but... What? No, I am happy for you... Are things going to change between us? You know like... are we going to hang out less?"

She reassured me that nothing was going to change. I was relieved at the moment, but I started seeing less and less of her. Maybe, this was my punishment. Weeks and months went by without a word from her. I really was glad that she was happy. But I missed her. I thought it was high time to finally move on. See new people. Try new things. Forgive and forget. Or that was the plan. Until one random day, she called.

"Y-yo? It's been a while... No no no... No need to apologize I know you have things to do and you have your own life... How's uhm... the boyfriend? T-that's good... That's good... So what's up? You wanted to tell me something? You're what? No way... You're getting married? Isn't this a little too soon? I... no... I'm happy for you... Y-yeah I'll be there, of course... Are you going to have like a bachelorette party? Oh? My house... Just the two of us? S-sure... Consider it a wedding gift... I'll plan everything... It'll just be like old times... Yes yes, I'll grab your favorite snacks... Mhm... Yeah... I have class until 6 and should be home by 7... Mhm... See you then!"

I really am a disgusting person. I should be happy for her, right? That's what a best friend should feel, but why do I feel so lost? This felt more than just some hangout, it felt as if it'd be the last time I'd ever really see her. And that made me sad. I went about my day; dreading our hangout. I wasn't sure what to say. Or how to act. All I knew was I had to greet her with a smile and survive the night. I could feel myself slowly getting anxious as time went by. I knew I had to face her eventually. The tension increased as my class was cut short leaving me with no choice but to start heading home. I couldn't think straight and before I knew it I was at my front door. It was open. She must've let herself in again.

"Hey... I'm home... I got the snacks... That's weird... She usually rushes over to see me... Where is she? Hm... Probably watching TV... Hey are you-..."

No words escaped my lips. What I saw left me in complete shock. There she was. Touching herself with such desperation. Like she's never known the feeling of pleasure till now. To make things worse, her clothes were scattered all over my floor. Wearing nothing but my jacket which was too oversized for her. Her huffing and sniffing the remnants of my dirty clothing. A little goblin that felt as if she'd struck gold. This was so wrong. But she wasn't in the right either. She was getting married. Why? Unless. Something switched inside of me.

"Sorry... Am I interrupting something? Hey... Don't stop now... You were just getting started, yeah? Well, this is my room after all... Well, classes ended early today and I thought I would get some rest before we hung out... By the way, you have a really bad habit of walking in here... Tell me... Is this what you always do when I'm gone? What would your fiance think if I showed him this video? Of course, I took a video... How could I not? Dude... I'm not kidding... Sure... I can delete it... But I can always show him the mess you made on the bed while wearing my jacket... Hey... Woah there... and where do you think you're going... You think this is all a prank because we're friends but... What you did was a bit scandalous, don't you think? What do I care? No no no... You walked away... and you never gave me the chance to talk about it... And yes I didn't kiss you back then... and I regret it... But we're here now and nothing is going to change that... If you leave now... I really will show your little boyfriend how pretty you are fingering yourself on my bed... What do I want? Oh c'mon... You're a sick pervert, right? I'm sure you have a few ideas to shut me up..."

My cock stiffened. Not because she was on her knees. But because the same sweet scent hit me once again. It reminded me of that night. Her desperation. She left me wanting more. In a way, you could say I was addicted. But then again, I would be lying if I said seeing my best friend take the full length of my cock down her throat had no effect on me. In different circumstances, I would have wanted her to do this. Looking up at me with such love. But right now, she looked at me with such disdain. I couldn't help but push my cock down even deeper as punishment. Watching the little furrow in her brow fade away as her eyes roll back in pleasure. Hearing the quick schlicking of her cunt as she fingers herself silly in such a moment.

"What's with that look, huh? Do you really think you're in a position to show me attitude, sweetheart? I own you now... The sooner you learn that the better... Me? Disgusting? I'm not the one sniffing my best friend's clothes... Aw c'mon, don't be mad... You know you love me... Let's make up for lost time... It's okay... Don't be shy... I don't bite... Here... Lemme help you with that... That's it... That's a good girl... All the way to the back of your throat... Right right... As much as you pretend to hate this... Even now... you're still rubbing yourself stupid... Aren't ashamed of yourself? You really are fucking pervert... Does it feel good? Hm? Taking another man's cock in your mouth? Cheating like the filthy whore you are... While he's at home... smiling like an idiot... wondering how lucky he was to land a girl like you..."

I wanted to see a side of her that no one else did. She was loved by all. Something about this raging slut pumping my cock into her mouth with relent brought me euphoria. It was something only I could see. Did she not feel guilty? No. How could I blame her? Interrupting her like that. She must've been so close to a release. I bet she can barely think with how roughly she's fucking herself. I couldn't help but grab her hands. Forcing her to stop. Keeping her eager. Needy for more.

"And what do you think you're doing? I didn't give you permission to cum... But? But what? You're close? And you think I care? Bad... Bad girl... So needy... Does it hurt? Hm? Me stepping on you filthy cunt? Oh? Was that a fucking moan? Did you really get turned on by that? You really are sick... Aw, what's wrong? You wanna get off, don't you? I'm giving you my shoe... Be thankful... Go on... Hump it... That's it... Rub into my shoe... What a fucking slut... grinding and humping as you please... This is so embarrassing for you, isn't it..? A literal bitch in heat... Gonna cum? Yeah? Yeah? And stop... What? You really think I was going to let you cum on my shoe? I'm not a monster... Shhhh you'll get your release..."

Picking her up from the floor; guiding her onto my lap as I lay against the headboard. Instructing her to sit on my lap as her bare pussy pressed my cock. Quickly I grabbed her hips holding them in place to prevent any movement. Only the constant throb of my cock hitting her needy pussy. Leaving her a whimpery mess; mindless I pulled her by the chin giving her a kiss. Soon after her actions reflected mine. Sloppy wet yet gentle kisses; one after the other. Her hips gradually moving in anticipation. Not caring for the consequences to come.

"Needy little brat, aren't you? What? You don't care anymore as long as you get off? Tell me... You missing my kissing? Too dumb to think, huh..."

My mind flooded with her scent as we kissed. My cock reaching the peak of its hardness as her tongue coils mine. It was just like that night. She smelled of strawberries. Desperation. Her lips tasted as sweet as she was at that moment. If only stayed, I would have been the man marrying her. Those thoughts sent me into a spiral. I became greedy. Kissing her with a more intense rhythm. Licking and sucking her tongue. Plunging myself deeper into her moaning mouth. My fingers slowly creeping toward her ass; gently massaging her hole. Her body jerked up in surprise. I continue my assault to keep her busy as I loosened her ass with my middle finger. The tension slowly increasing as she knew my intent. Making the process easier by sliding my finger in her already wet pussy. And once again working on her rear. Her moans turned breathy leaning her head onto my shoulder as I play with her ass.

"Shhh... Shhh... It's okay... You're doing so good for me... Mhm... It's going to hurt a little, but I'll go slow... That's it... Relax... Such a good girl... Look at that... Taking it so well... Does it feel good? Yeah? Can you take another finger? If it hurts too much... You can bite down, alright? There we go... s-slowly... I'm right here, sweetie... It's okay just breathe... Why don't you lay down for me okay?"

Pulling her ass up into the air as I continually pump my fingers into her slutty hole. Spitting and slapping it. Biding my time. Prepping her for my swollen cock. Unholy sounds emanating from my bedroom. It gave me a certain high. Watching her give herself up for me. Rewarding her patience by running my thumb across her clit; sending shockwaves of pleasure I assault both her princess parts. When it was time, I pulled her over placing her onto my lap.

"You know what to do, princess... It's okay take your time... Slowly lower yourself for me... Fuck me... You're so tight... Almost there... Mhm... I won't move I promise... There's no need to cry... I know it hurts... It's over now... As I promised, I'll let you cum... There we go... Does that feel good? Hm? Me rubbing your clit like that?"

Passing the time by making her cum. A literal wave of pleasure soon flooding my lap staining me and my sheets. A smirk painted across my face as she jerked and twitched on my lap. I couldn't quite tell whether she was covering her face due to embarrassment or taking another whiff of my jacket. I wondered.

"Enjoying yourself? Here... Take it... It's my underwear from today... What? You like my scent, don't you? Here... Don't be shy... You look goofy as fuck with my underwear on your face... I'm sorry I'm sorry... Wait... Are you... actually enjoying this? You are, aren't you? I didn't think you could get any wetter but my scent does the trick, huh? God, you're disgusting..."

Pushing her down into the bed; grabbing my underwear to shove into her mouth. After all, we wouldn't want the neighbors hearing her scream as I fuck her ass. Tears ran down her face as I rammed into her. Her spirit slowly breaking with each thrust. I was nearing my climax until I slipped out. You wouldn't believe the little slut pulling her ass pussy apart to invite me in once again. Fucking relentlessly into the ass I trained. My personal anal slut. My mind went feral seeing my cum leak out of her. I used her over and over and over. Making sure to send a little wedding gift home to her boyfriend.

-------------------------------------------------------------

After the incident, she never really talked to me or called me. I guess it's a good thing. If she we ever in my vicinity, the scent of strawberries would probably get hard again. It's troubling enough trying to hide that in public. On my way home, thoughts of her lingered in my head. I was surprised to see her waiting outside my house. She looked a bit antsy or well, scared, as if she's seen a ghost.

"You... okay? Woah woah... It's okay... It's just me... What's up? Can you take a deep breath? I'm not going to fuck in the middle of the streets... What do you want? Your fiance... wants to have a gathering? And he invited me? What a nice guy... I'm starting to feel a little bad... Okay okay, that joke was in poor taste... You know what? You tell him... I'll even host it... Tomorrow... 6 PM to whatever time he wants... You guys can even crash at my place for the night... Alright... See you then..."

I kind of regret saying I'll host everything, but it'll be worth it in the end. I greeted our close friends and even met a couple of new people. By the time it was about to start, there they were the soon-to-married couple. It brought an ick to my stomach. But even then, I played the role of the host. Tending to people's needs. Even if I was busy, my eyes would always find its way back to her. Slowly one after the other people started leaving the party as the clock reached midnight. The fiance was already 8 drinks in and knocking down shot after shot. Luckily enough, I could handle my own when it comes to drinking. It pissed me off seeing him get mad at her for ruining his buzz. I held the temptation of cracking my mug over his head. She sat quietly as the two of us drank. His consciousness slowly fading away. I was tipsy, but not enough to knock me out.

"He's kind of lightweight, don't you think? Okay, I may have given him a drink or two... but I didn't make him guzzle it down... So... You gonna babysit him all night or do you wanna make out in my room?

She was reluctant. But trailed behind me as I gently guided her hand. As soon as the doors closed, I pulled her into me and leaned in for a kiss. This was what I was looking for. There was no hate or doubt. She wanted this as much as me. A kiss as sweet as she was. Not caring for her fiance or for the consequences of getting caught. Just appreciating each other's existence. She falls to her knees; kissing the tip whilst maintaining eye contact. The tip of my cock gently pressed against her lips. Guiding it slowly into her. Watching it disappear from sight. A perfect little mouth pussy to fuck to my heart's content. She quickly got up placing herself comfortably on my bed. Bring her ass up to the air as she's done before. Wriggling it and teasing me as she spreads her pussy apart. A devious little girl. To my surprise, she came prepared. Plugged and wet. Waiting for my cock. And who am I to keep a lady waiting?

"Oh? Well, look at you... Fuck me... Wet already? What? Don't tell me you were waiting for something like this to happen... Such a bad girl... Moaning already... It's just a couple of fingers... Whimper and cry all you want... But you've been dying for me to use this hole, huh? That's why you went ahead and plugged yourself? How sly... Alright... For your wedding gift, I'll fill you to the brim, yeah? Aw, what's wrong? That's just the tip, sweetheart... Any louder you'll wake your hubby up... Unless... that's what you want... You know what? That's a good idea... Why don't we show hubby how much of a fun time we're having without him, yeah?"

Carrying her off to the couch where we first left the husband. Still knocked out cold from the drinks. Moans filling the room. Wet and desperate as she hops carelessly on my cock. Moving her hips in a way that's only meant for her husband. An unholy communion of lustful souls. Load after load. Fucking it deeper and deeper into her without a care. She slowly loses her vigor; resting her poor head on my shoulder. Addicted to my scent. Her hips not giving in just yet for a couple more pleasurable strokes. A few shared kisses. The taste of strawberries lingers on my lips.

A grumble and a mumble as the fiance wakes up from his drunken nap. We've already cleaned up long before he was awake. She probed worryingly about his condition only to be met with a nasty reply. Lifting him by his collar I met his attitude with a punch to the face. I'm not one for violence, but if this was her way of treating her I'd gladly steal her away.

"If you ever hurt her... I'll make sure to cut your hands and legs off... Is that understood? Get the fuck outta here..."

-------------------------------------------------------------

The wedding never did happen. I was a bit of a home wrecker but anything to keep her safe. I haven't seen her much since then. It's just been school and work. As I entered my house, I found hands coiled around my neck pulling me into a kiss. She still has a habit of sneaking into my house.

Did I mention I didn't see her much? Woops. I just meant she went to deal with the remnants of her ruined engagement. But I've never seen her happier hogging all my jackets. I could happily tell you, that I can freely enjoy the taste of strawberries whenever I please from now on.

------------------------------------------------------------

With love and lust,

Honey

[flametrashiraarchive]

I know I said Kyojuro would never die on my watch but…

Imagine boarding the Mugen Train and finding yourself sitting near this handsome but eccentric man in a flaming haori. You truly try to mind your own business but he's far too fascinating to ignore. His eyes shine brighter than candle flames, his fiery hair is wild and unruly, and his smile is so contagious you have to cover your mouth with your hand to hide your own. You watch out of the corner of your eye as he eats box after box of beef and rice, effusively expressing his delight after every mouthful. 

And then a bunch of kids join him and he's just so good with them, and you can't help but melt a little as they gather around him and he shares his food with them. There's just something about him. He's magnetic, and before you know it you're full-on staring at him. He's far too distracted by the kids and the food to notice though.

"Ticket please," the conductor says, ending your reverie. You hand him the ticket and he punches a hole in it.

The lights flicker for a second, pulling your gaze upward. 

"Hello!" A bright, cheery voice says beside you.

Your heart leaps as you see the fiery man standing right next to you, smiling down at you. 

He sits beside you and you chat for the rest of the journey. The conversation flows easily; you tell him about your life and he tells you about his. You laugh together, share little in-jokes, and when it comes time for you both to disembark the train, you find you don't want to leave each other's sides. 

So you don't. You go and get lunch together– he somehow still has room for more food! Lunch leads to a walk together. Then dinner. Then talking beneath the stars. When it finally gets too late you bid each other farewell with a promise to meet again tomorrow. 

And you do. You meet up the next day and the next day and the next. Before you know it you're head over heels for each other. He proposes, you accept of course, and the pair of you marry. You live in a beautiful house, filled with love. Children come, just as fiery and sweet as their father. He kisses you every day, tells you how much he adores you. Every single day, long after the children are grown and have children of their own, long after both your hair and his turns white. 

You love each other with your entire hearts, your lives filled with a happiness you can scarcely believe is real. 

And then you wake up to the sound of screaming. The sun is low in the sky; it's morning, and the Mugen Train is wrecked. You have no idea what is happening… your husband is gone, your hands are young again. Every inch of your body hurts. 

People in brown uniforms are fussing over you, patching you up, telling you everything will be alright. 

Your heart thrums as you search for him. Was he hurt in the train wreck? The thought sickens you.

"It was a dream," they tell you. "You were on the Mugen Train. A mechanical fault caused fumes which made all the passengers hallucinate. You're okay now."

The medics take you away on a stretcher and that's when you see him, the man you love, his body being covered by a shroud as the children you remember from a lifetime ago wail and mourn his passing.

Grief hits you like a landslide. You can't breathe, not without him. And as the medics carry you away, ignoring your desperate pleas, it occurs to you that you never even knew his name.

[separatist-apologist]

Will you share your pickle making recipes with us? - from a pickle lover

HIIIIII yes I would love to!!

You're gonna need a jar, first of all- something with a lid. You can buy these in your grocery store if you're in America (mine sell them in the baking aisle) or on the internet, or just reuse any old jar, honestly.

A lot of recipes will tell you to boil your brine. I don't do this. I don't think its necessary but I feel like if I don't add this preface, someone is gonna slide into my DMs about it so I'm just getting ahead of that hypothetical scenario. It genuinely does not matter imo- I've done it both ways, I barely notice a difference.

You need cucumbers. Again, recipes are gonna be hyper specific on the type of cucumber you need. It does not matter what kind you get, and I will die on this hill. If you can find a nice english cucumber (seedless), that's probably my choice but you know. In a pickle (PUN INTENDED) I've used whatever is available and they're still good.

OKAY ACTUAL RECIPE:

You'll need:

A mason jar is my preference but honestly whatever you have is fine

1/2 cup of water- room temperature is fine

1/2 cup of vinegar (regular WHITE vinegar or rice wine vinegar (it has a little more neutral of a taste imo but honestly I usually use white vinegar because I bought a costco sized jug of it) (i think apple cider vinegar would be too sweet for dill pickles but could be good for bread and butter? i've honestly never tried)

1 1/2 tablespoons (i am guessing, i never measure this) of sugar or sugar type substitute (maple syrup for example- i saw this on tiktok, it's pretty good)

1 1/2 tablespoon of salt (again, i measure this with my heart. Use any type of salt you like, i just use regular table salt because I always have that on hand)

if you like it a little spicy, add some red pepper flakes (use your beautiful intuition to tell yourself when to stop)

black pepper, again as much or as little as you personally prefer, I'm not here to tell you how to live your life

Garlic, honestly the more the better imo. Just peel it and then smash it with your pickle jar. We don't need to get beautiful and fancy with it

A bay leaf

DILL- either fresh dill- sprigs? leaves? whatever- you chop up yourself OR dried dill. Keep in mind you'll need more dried dill than fresh, so if you're using what you've got in your spice jars, just add a little extra. About a fourth of a cup (I never measure this?) ish it probably enough for fresh dill, more for dried.

step one. Aquire your cucumbers. The amount you use is going to depend on the size of your jar + the size of your cucumbers and how you're slicing them. I'm assuming we're doing chips and not spears, and that we're using smaller cucumbers. For that, you'll need about 2-3, but if you get a large cucumber (romance novel love interest type cucumber you know what im talking about) you only need one.

slice them into either spears or coins. I have a little cutter-outy-thingie that makes them into little wavy circles but that's not necessary. I just love gadgets that take up space.

measure everything but dill + garlic into a bowl and stir until the sugar and salt has dissolved. Takes like, a minute.

Shove your cucumbers into your jar. Again I'm assuming you're using coins, if you're using spears you need to leave about an inch or so of space between the mouth of the jar and your pickle tops. For coins, you want to make sure you have enough space that your liquid covers them entirely (same with spears but dont stack your coins to the top is what I'm getting at).

Once the cucumbers are in, add your dill (essential) + garlic (essential I will not hear anything else about it). The bay leaf also goes in, just shove that bad boy in there. this jar can fit so many spices.

Pour your liquid into your pickle jar and make sure pickles are fully submerged.

You don't need to get fancy with the sealing of the jar. I have never done this, and I can't verify that this is a good recipe for canning, so do so at your own risk (don't blame me if they turn out bad is what I'm saying).

Shove in the fridge. I think 3-5 days is the sweet spot, but if you lack self control, 3 hours is also fine. The longer you let them marinate, the better they taste. They last in the fridge for about a month, give or take ,but honestly I eat mine much faster than that.

These are just regular dill pickles! Once you get the hang of pickling, you can get pretty creative and "fancy" with them. I always make one regular dill, one spicy pickle because I grow peppers in the garden and slicing up 2-3 jalapenos is pretty tasty.

[pink-tonic]

You're Oddly Sweet📰

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I'm not sure how I got into this situation. It was a normal day, but when lunch time came, I was approached by Shidesu. I was near one of the vending machines, and Taeko and Taro were in the club room waiting for me to come back. I turned around, and I saw Shidesu. I thought it was odd that he was in the school, but he was near the vending machine, so I assumed he just came in for a snack.

I was going to leave, but Shidesu spoke, and he wanted to have lunch with me, and that's how I'm next to him on the rooftop.

"So, why did you want to have lunch with me?" I ask him as I take a bite out of the bento that Taeko made me. I remember when I told her that I was going to be with Shidesu, she was a little mad. She shoved the green bento box into my hands and sent me on my way. The recent memory greatly embarrassed me since Shidesu was standing right behind me.

"Just wanted to talk to someone other than the guys," he tells me as he takes a quick sip from his soda. I guess, the answer makes sense, but I don't really like it all that much. Why the hell did he want to be with me out of all people? It didn't make a lot of sense.

So I question it, "Why me? I'm not exactly your type."

"And who said that?" He quickly asks me. The reaction catches me off guard. Why is he so defensive all of a sudden?

"No one. I just thought-"

"Well, you thought wrong, alright. I actually enjoy your presence," he told me quickly. I wonder if he wants me to think differently of him.

"We just met?" I question.

"What, I can't get to know you? Some world we live in," he scoffs as he looks away from me.

"I mean, if you do want to get to know me, I don't mind," I tell him as I keep eating from the bento box. I look at Shidesu, and I notice that he finished his soda, but I just noticed that he doesn't have anything else to eat. Why did he only get soda? Is he trying to starve himself?

I move my bento box closer to him, and I point at it with my chopsticks, "Get some. A soda isn't enough for someone like you."

"For someone like me? Are you calling me fat or something, (L/N)?" I swear I could see a flash of hurt go through his golden eyes, but it quickly left, and it got replaced with a look that could kill me.

"No. Just have some, Shidesu. I know you're hungry. You can have the rest of it if you want," I tell him as I go to clean the plastic chopsticks with a napkin that Taeko gave me. I then give him the chopsticks.

He takes them and looks at me, "You're not even going to wash them?"

"Take it, or I'll take it back," I tell him before leaning against the wall and closing my eyes. I'm still so tired from everything, and now I have to deal with a delinquent who I have no idea what he wants from me.

"This is really good. I guess your little girlfriend can really cook," Shidesu tells me as he takes a bite from the rice.

I let out a sigh and shake my head, "She's not my girlfriend, she's a close friend."

"Really? Good," he tells me before looking back down at the bento in his hands.

"What do you mean by that?"

"Nothing."

"Fine."

I don't really enjoy my time with Shidesu. I wish that I was with the siblings instead of this delinquent. We don't have much in common, and I don't even know how to keep a conversation going with him. The lunch feels longer than usual, but I try my best to push through it.

Then, a familiar face shows up. Wearing his red cape, a rose in his hair, and his violet hair, I see Kizano making a beeline for me once he sees me on one of the benches.

"There you are, darling!" Kizano walks over to me, but he stops when he sees Shidesu next to me, "Darling, who is...?"

"No one to you," Shidesu keeps eating from the bento box, taking large bites out of the rice and chicken.

"Is that so? Well, I guess you wouldn't mind me taking him for a moment, will you?" Kizano asks with a coy smile.

"I do mind. I don't know what game you're playing, drama king, but leave us alone and go somewhere else," Shidesu dismisses Kizano. Kizano looks taken back from the way Shidesu talks to him. I don't think anyone has talked to Kizano that way in his life.

I turn to look at Kizano and give him a smile that I hope will make him feel better, "How about we talk tomorrow? Would that be alright, Kizano?"

"Yes, it would be good. I'll see you later," Kizano quickly says, but I can hear the frustration laced in his voice as he walks off and goes back into the school.

"What is he to you? Seemed too buddy-buddy to me," Shidesu tells me as he closes the bento and places it on the bench on the empty space between us.

"A friend... I suppose," I really didn't know what to consider Kizano. He was too close to be considered a normal friend, but we aren't dating either. But I guess being friends would be the closest thing to labeling our relationship.

"What, you like the guy?"

"I mean, I do find him interesting."

"Just keep it that way."

"What do you mean?"

"Alright, I gotta go. I'll see around later," he gets up and leaves without saying another word. I watch him go back inside, and I'm only left with my thoughts. I feel like I'm going to lose my mind trying to understand him. Why did he have to come into my life now?

My mind starts to wonder about the Rana situation that happened. I feel that when it first happened, I went into a slight state of shock, but I know I need to try my best to move on. Luckily, he isn't here anymore, and he can't put his disgusting hands on me or anyone else. I can at least be thankful for that.

The bell soon rings, and I start to head to class. As I walk down the hall to my next class, I get an idea. An idea that could make my friendship with Shidesu worth it. I could use his status as a delinquent to my advantage. It could give me more connection and more people on my side. It really could be worth it.

And it could be the step in the right direction to arresting Ayato, I just gotta play it right.