#the return of queequeg

[sleepyscully]

Given how much I hate bugs and cockroaches in large quantities I enjoy watching “war of the coprophages” a LOT

[binah-beloved]

tired. think about Sunshower Binah. and Outis. and Queequeg.

[spectre-ship]

genuinely nothing could have prepared me for how weird Moby-Dick is and I love every word of it

[lxgentlefolkcomic]

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Start reading Episode 1

Dialogue transcripts:

Panel 1

Ishmael:  How is he?

Jack:  Doing better.  He’s fast asleep, now.

Panel 2

Ishmael:  Do you need help getting him back to his room?

Jack:  … I think it may exacerbate the situation if he woke to someone carrying him.

Panel 3

Jack:  Harker?  …Jonathan?  It’s Dr. Seward.  

Jonathan:  Hnnh…Seward?  Where are we?

Panel 4

Jack:  In the Nautilus salon.  You had some sort of fit in your sleep.

Jonathan:  Oh…I’m so sorry. I must have woken you.

Panel 5

Jack:  Please, don’t apologize.  But if you’re ready, we’d best get back to bed. Are you ready to return to your room?

Jonathan:  I think so… If it’s not too much trouble, would you stay with me?  I can’t—I don’t think I should be alone, right now.

Panel 6

Godfrey:  Could you fellows bring our beds to Harker’s room?

Panel 7

Godfrey: I can help watch—and you need sleep too, Doctor.

Panel 8

Ishmael: A pair of beds to shift, Queequeg my dear, then we’ll return together to our own.

[offshore-brinicle]

Little personal Limbus theory that I've been working on for some time is that the Limbus Sinners' inciting indicents that led them down the path of joining the company, being the moment when their wish was born, all happened at the same time 3 years before the current story.

Thanks to some old leaks where people managed to dig up three of the Sinners' unobstructed profiles, we know Yi Sang and Sinclair's official ages are 29 and 20 respectively. Remove 3 years from that:

Yi Sang would have been 26, which is the age the narrator of The Wings claims to be, after leaving his wife behind once and for all and pressumably commiting suicide by jumping off the rooftop of a department store. 26 is the real Yi Sang's age at the time of his death as well, after his tuberculosis worsened imprisioned by the Japanese forces, so this means most likely he's left N Corp behind 3 years prior, avoiding such a fate, be it either death by his own hands in despair or torment at the hands of Hermann since she seems to threaten him with torture.

Sinclair on the other hand would have been 17 which aligns with him still being in high school when the incident with Kromer happened and also mentions in his observation log for Kromer that she has grown slightly taller since the last time they met, however what was of him and how he had survived for so long taking in count he woke up in the Backstreets after his family's murder is still a mystery.

Now recently, not only the Pequod crew speculate that they have been trapped inside The Whale for 3 years, but we get direct confirmation that Limbus!Heathcliff is from the Wuthering Heights timeskip thanks to his Queequeg ID.

The first one is pretty self-explenatory, they say it themselves, though it's dubious how true this is since they have no way of tell the passage of time inside the whale and even the woman who says this sounds somewhat unsure, and Pip who was a young child in Ishmael's memory still looks the same when we see him again in the present and it's difficult to say if this is a side effect of the Pallidfication. (on the other hand I am impressed at the growth rate of Ishmael's hair for being only 3 years)

On the other hand, Heathcliff's Queequeg ID mentions the event that led him to run away from Wuthering Heights in the original novel; he overhears Catherine saying to Nelly that marrying him would be "a disgrace to her", so driven by his anger and heartbreak he ran away, making his own fortune elsewhere so that he would return to the state seeking vengeance and to become someone who Catherine would be willing to marry. This had been implied before through his general behavior and his mugshot showing him still shabby and bruised as well as his N Corp story, but this leaves no room for questioning.

All of this means that if we go by the book, at least 3 years have passed since he left Wuthering Heights and Canto VI which is next and dedicated to him would correspond with Heathcliff's return to Wuthering Heights both in Limbus' story and in the book, meaning Catherine is most likely still alive, yet Heathcliff as a Sinner in Limbus Company is a far cry from the newly powerful version of Heatchliff that returns to the state in the book, so it's likely things will play out not quite the same.

Faust's line in the Walpurgisnacht cutscene says that the standard extraction timeline range is limited to 3 years between the past and future.

In this cutscene she also says that the extractions are powered by possibility itself, and the IDs that become available are also influenced by the Sinners' experiences at the company and how they come to reconsider themselves and each other, that's how for example we get N Corp. Sinclair and Spicebush Yi Sang after being faced with Kromer digging at Sinclair and telling him about the world where they work together, and then Yi Sang being so strongly affected internally by Dongbaek's death and ultimate fate, which would be the most intense story-focused examples so far, and if we eventually get a Captain Ahab ID for Ishmael, they had already established she was down the path of becoming another Ahab, and she herself did not realize this until they met again.

If all of the Sinners' great choices that led them down the path they are currently all happened 3 years ago and the initial extraction range is 3 years, it would make sense, since these would be the moments that weight on their mind most strongly, though there's also the case of Outis who has been on her own journey for at least 10 years going by the original Odyssey and how long ago The Smoke War was, same case for Gregor who's specific motives for joining are still unknown.

[ratlesshonret]

I've said this before but one of the things I don't like about Canto VI is how little involvement Ishmael has. And it's not just because I like her.

In Canto V, Heathcliff was so important to Ishmael and her story. He literally and metaphorically saves her. And they were even building the two up as a pair, with stuff like him getting the Queequeg ID, the person most important to Ishmael's past, and just generally having narrative parallels to her in the story.

In general, they seemed to be pushing Heathcliff and Ishmael as some kind of duo. And more broadly, Heathcliff + Ishmael + Don as some kind of trio who interact a lot.

And then we get to Canto VI. I was so excited to see how Ishmael would "return the favor" and reveal how much she actually does care about Heathcliff, just like Heathcliff did for her last Canto. Would she save his life? Would she snap him out of blind reverence for Catherine? Would she just straight up tell him that he isn't that bad during his moment of crisis?

Nope. Nothing. She's practically an irrelevant background character.

They do feed us a little. She has a couple lines during some of the more scary Heathcliff moments where she does seem concerned about him and his safety. But a few scattered lines does not a solid narrative make.

I honestly don't know if I would've preferred the mindless ship-bait approach to what we actually got. At least that one would provide some conclusion to what Canto V's ending started between the two.

And personally, I don't even ship them. I see them as close friends at most, maybe friends with benefits. But I also see the pair as a very important duo in the story, and their relationship as one of the most interesting and dynamic relationships between maybe any of the Sinners.

So it's a shame that they, at least for now, seem to have dropped it.

[tridenopmoth]

Fuck I wanted to do something normal and a little more but I’ve had the top three frames for a month now, so it’s better at least this way I adore this Heathcliff Id, it’s (for me) perfect in every way

Аe It’s difficult for me to describe everything that’s in my head, in terms of headcons about Ishmael and this ID. Like, she didn’t just turn a blind eye to this, she’s clearly feeling something about it. Perhaps hatred, that it was Heathcliff who got it or vice versa, begins to show a little more attention or simply avoids because this time Queequeg is definitely dead and Ishi is not very happy to see her again, as if she had not come to terms with the death of her partner. Here I showed more that she can do something about it, in terms of (as I remember) Ishi just watched as Qq cut out the tattoos, but here, since this is Heathcliff, she can be ruder with him and, for example, just fuck throw away the knife because she doesn’t want to see the past events or at least so that her friend doesn’t suffer. But at the same time, she showed him a little care, so to speak, returned the favor. And yes no paint today, sorry

[randomfoggytiger]

randomfoggytiger's Fictober Wrap Up, 2023

My first Fictober has concluded; and I decided to throw together my entries, thoughts, and acknowledgements into one post for posterity.

*****

Fictober Fics

"The Dead Are Everywhere, Scully"

Mulder and Scully reunite in the afterlife, two skeletons dancing in the rain and the mud.

"Regardless of His Actions Last Night"

Queequeg, alive and savage, joins Scully on her Chinga vacation.

"As Agent Mulder Says, There Are Many Different Kinds of Vampires" Part I

Mulder and Scully are attacked and turned into vampires by Ronnie Strickland. Scully's crisis begins when her faith seemingly rejects her.

"Time Passing in Moments"

Post Fight the Future Scully brings Halloween to Mulder, determined to give him a break while they wait and wait and wait for OPR.

"As Agent Mulder Says, There Are Many Different Kinds of Vampires" Part II

Mulder encourages Scully not to give up on her faith, both of them choosing to face potential death by holy fireball rather than letting her live in fearful limbo.

"There's Something Up There Mulder"

Scully realizes that Tooms is likely a distant relation of the Gender Bender Brethren (Amish hats are mentioned.)

"I Wonder If You Think It's Safe Enough to Indulge Yourself"

Metaphorical similarities between Mulder's supposed red-green colorblindness (which he does not have) and red-hot Phoebe Green.

"How Much You're Like Ahab"-- Mulder parallels his and Scully's crime scene eating habits to those of their cannibalistic pets.

"The Truth Is Out There-- But So Are Lies"-- Scully ruminates on her partner's ease with lying; and her ability to save him from Them and himself.

"Something Approaching a Normal Life"-- Mulder realizes Scully had invited him to (a disastrous) Thanksgiving to distract himself from the anniversary of his sister's abduction. He plans to return the favor.

"Preying on the Weak and Vainglorious"-- Post Sanguinarium Mulder ruminates on bad luck and bad ends; and Scully insists he's beautiful.

"Kids Today, Huh?"-- 2023 Mulder sinks into a slump after listening to a mopey song all day. Scully reasons him out of it.

"Is Being Made a Fool Of a Crime, Agent Mulder?"-- Mulder and Scully celebrate life, the dead, and all the Roadrunners and Wile E. Coyotes of the world. (My "happy birthday in a way, Mulder" fic.)

"We Need to Get Help"-- Mulder contemplates the glaring similarities between Gender Bender and Never Again and the new differences in his partner.

"We'll Think of Something"-- The Unnatural Scully grumbles over Mulder's tendency to run off into trouble. She goes, anyway.

"End of the Road"-- Mulder's peace after Closure.

"He Had Parents Who Loved Him"-- The Mulder family and baseball.

"I Think She Was Just Trying To Get Away"-- Scully reminisces on Mulder's distance and need for distraction post Monday.

"You Don't Know the First Thing About Me"-- Krycek has fixed opinions about the Syndicate, Mulder, Marita, and morals.

"My Religious Convictions Are Hardly the Issue Here"-- Scully and Mulder try to tackle her fears post All Souls.

"I'm Tired"-- Scully draws parallels between her Tithonus experience and Mulder's Sleepless and Demons one.

"Life’s Just a Path”-- If Melissa were alive post Fight the Future and Millennium, she'd never let her sister live it down.

"I Think He’s a Hard Kid to Love”-- Post Schizogeny Scully is sent on a case with Mulder to unofficially help Skinner's friends, one of which is a bear. (Prompts and artwork contributed by my two sisters.)

"Mulder Will Be Back”-- Jeffrey Spender sneers at Mulder's "hubris."

"Easy for You to Say”-- Post First Person Shooter Mulder is enamored with his little battle girlfriend.

"No More Paranormal than a Change of Wardrobe”-- Freshly-dating Mulder and Scully's lifestyles don't quite match yet; but the effort is worth it.

"What Must a Mother Go Through”-- Post Emily Mulder reasons Scully out of her Mrs. Peacock comparisons.

"Watch Over You Wherever You Go”-- One Breath Maggie remembers the many reinterpretations of her daughter's necklace.

"Your Ideas Are Weirder than Ours”-- The Lone Gunmen are woken by two very grumpy-with-each-other special agents.

"Doesn’t Make Him Less of a Miracle”-- AU Mulder tries to fight colonization and wrangle his "sea monster" child at the local ball pit.

"Sooner or Later a Man’s Gotta Face His Demons”-- Post Amor Fati Scully prods Mulder on a stakeout about his lack of Samhain hunting.

*****

My Thoughts

It's been a few years since I've committed to a daily creative project, but this month flew by. It was a joy to prove myself, in a way; and an even greater privilege to take other people's prompts and turn them into stories. I'm proud of the work I put in, proud of how they turned out, and proud that they entertained anyone who read them.

I did discover a personal writing flaw: grammatical errors and spelling mistakes. Which, given that I write and "edit" everything in under an hour and that my brain autocorrects and rewrites while I'm actively writing, is understandable. There are multiple reblogged versions of my finalized fics because I would spot an error and edit after publication but not before the readers hit. And that's okay! (When my Ao3 submission goes through, I'll upload each fic "in its final form", so no sweat there.)

*****

Trivia

Each fic was named with a quote from The X-Files, mostly from Mulder and Scully but also by various side characters (Phoebe Green, Krycek, and Maggie, namely.)

I tackled Scully's religion a lot this month as a way to work out my frustrations with her episodes: her belief in the series has always been chocked up as "yes man" syndrome; and I believe it did a disservice to Scully, multi-layered character that she is. I hope it did her a little more justice.

In a way, I dedicate "The Dead Are Everywhere, Scully" to @enigmaticdrblockhead-- whose writing not only influenced that piece but also sticks with me to this day-- and @perpetually-weirdening-- whose interest in an immortal Scully breathed life into this idea.

In a way, I dedicate "The Truth is out There, But So Are Lies" to @suitablyaggrieved: the discussion we had (concerning Mulder's ability to lie quite well) rattled around in my head until I put it down "on paper."

In a way, I dedicate "Something Approaching a Normal Life" to Baroness Blixen, who is the master of weaving angst and fluff into her holiday fics.

In a way, I dedicate "I Wonder If You Think It's Safe Enough to Indulge Yourself" to @settle-down-frohike because it reads more meta than fic (while also reading as fic.)

In a way, I dedicate "He Had Parents Who Loved Him" to @television-overload, whose baseball fic inspired by Field of Dreams still takes up space in my noggin.

And I think that's all my thoughts for now~.

*****

Acknowledgements and Thanks

@baronessblixen for encouraging me to write this month-- another boost on the long list of encouragements you've given me~.

@agent-troi and @welsharcher (my Fox Mulder Singleton Club members) for their generous prompts. Truly touched by both of you: your loooooooong list, agent-troi; and your vibey suggestions, welsharcher.

@wexleresque for your vampire prompt (that was a fun fic challenge), and your "looking up at the sky" prompt (which challenged me to tackle older years Mulder and Scully.)

@stephy-gold for her Nessa Barrett song prompt (which I plugged into older years Mulder and Scully)-- I learned something new and tackled a genre that is not my favorite (songfic.)

@tossingmyglossymane for the post Monday prompt, which was more challenging to write than expected (and turned out great.)

@xxsksxxx for the prompt about Scully's cross necklace-- that was an initial struggle to nail down until I tied it back to Maggie; then it flowed~.

Anon for the prompt wanting Mulder to mull over Scully's words in Gender Bender (which tied, I thought, perfectly into his confusion in Never Again.)

Thank you to my sisters for the fall prompts that lead to Bernie the Bear (and another thank you to my younger sister who let me include her doodle for that day's Fictober entry.)

And thank you to everyone who engaged, liked, reblogged, and anything else! (I always like to dip in and out of the Notes section to see how each person responded differently to each fic-- a bonus game: make guesses and see if they're correct.) There are too many to count, so I'll just include a few off the top of my head: @dd-is-my-guiltypleasure, @amplifyme, @pianogirlxf, @scullys-scalpel, @teenie-xf, @agertiegirl, @improlificinsarcasm, @borogirl, @tofuttim, @mysteryness, @rosedyl, @spidey-is-tired, and others~!

*****

Thank you for reading~

Enjoy!

Tagging @today-in-fic and @xffictober2023 and @fictober-event

[azoosepted]

What happens in between the events of Ishmael’s backstory and the events of Limbus?

Since I’m working on a PMV, animatic, whatever you call it of Ishmael’s backstory, I’ve been facing against this exact question.

[LIMBUS COMPANY: CANTO V SPOILERS BELOW THIS LINE]

As most of the video is going to focus on the events in Ishmael’s backstory that happen before the Pallid Whale swallows the Pequod, up until after the lyrics “Now that existence is on the wake // Let’s see what we can make”, the remaining parts of the animatic are going to focus on what happens right after.

In Moby-Dick, Ishmael states that the events of the book happened a few years ago. And in Limbus, Ishmael says the same thing— that she became the only known survivor of the Pequod being swallowed whole by the Whale a few years before the events of Limbus Company.

So the question is: What happened during those few years?

In Ishmael’s promo video, she says that she began jumping from Office to Office after returning from the Pequod’s voyage on the Great Lake. So, we’ve got that figured out— she continued doing fixer work with the Fixer license granted to her when she joined the Pequod’s crew.

But, if you’re like me, and like to overthink things, you’re probably wondering: “Hey, how did Ishmael get back to solid ground, anyway? Wasn’t she just hanging onto Queequeg’s floating, empty coffin for dear life?”

Well, we… don’t actually have an answer for that, not yet. At least… not a canon one, anyway.

But I do have my own headcanon.

In Moby-Dick, Ishmael is rescued by another ship—The Rachel—after the Pequod sinks.

So that’s what I imagine happens to Ishmael in Limbus: she’s found by another ship, most likely another whaling ship, and once the crew of that ship determine she isn’t being pallidified, they take her aboard and bring her back ashore.

But that’s just a theory. A GAME THEO—

okay okay i’m sorry lmao but yeah. That’s what I think happens. Anyways I’m gettin some fabric for the ~Ardor Blossom Jakt~ so farewell for now!!!! And thanks for reading.

[saranilssonbooks]

Ishmael: *Spends about halft an hour at the Spouter Inn staring at and analyzing Bulkington*

Bulkington, to himself: That weird but cute sailor over there keeps making eyes at me. He's a total weirdo, but I guess it's still kinda flattering.

Bulkington: *Attempts to return gaze* Wait, why isn't he responing all of a sudden? Well have it your way then, tease! *Leaves in disappointment*

The following evening.

Bulkington: Fuck, I simply can't get that cute weirdo sailor off my mind. Guess I might as well head back just to have a peek if he's still there.

Bulkington: *Returns to the Spouter Inn and spots Ishmael and Queequeg* Noooooo!

Bulkington for the next couple of days, finally failing at denying his own sore heart* Ugh! Better not risk running into him again. Might as well head over to Nantucket, that should be just as good of a place to find a ship.

Bulkington: *Arrives in Nantucket and spots Ishmael and Queequeg* Noooooooooooo!!

Christmas Day

Bulkington, aboard the Pequod: Off to sea again, I guess. Everything back to usual. *Turns around and spots Ishmael and Queequeg* NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

And thus due to Bulkington's dedicated avoidance, this became the reason for him never being mentioned again.

[mossy-green-aka-ferrythem]

I beat Queequeg. Then I wanted to take a break. I clicked return to Checkpoint instead of return to window. Now I have to do all that all over again.

Why the fuck is there no buffer to that.

Fuck this game.

[vickyvicarious]

I was the attendant or page of Queequeg, while busy at the mat. As I kept passing and repassing the filling or woof of marline between the long yarns of the warp, using my own hand for the shuttle, and as Queequeg, standing sideways, ever and anon slid his heavy oaken sword between the threads, and idly looking off upon the water, carelessly and unthinkingly drove home every yarn: I say so strange a dreaminess did there then reign all over the ship and all over the sea, only broken by the intermitting dull sound of the sword, that it seemed as if this were the Loom of Time, and I myself were a shuttle mechanically weaving and weaving away at the Fates. There lay the fixed threads of the warp subject to but one single, ever returning, unchanging vibration, and that vibration merely enough to admit of the crosswise interblending of other threads with its own. This warp seemed necessity; and here, thought I, with my own hand I ply my own shuttle and weave my own destiny into these unalterable threads. Meantime, Queequeg’s impulsive, indifferent sword, sometimes hitting the woof slantingly, or crookedly, or strongly, or weakly, as the case might be; and by this difference in the concluding blow producing a corresponding contrast in the final aspect of the completed fabric; this savage’s sword, thought I, which thus finally shapes and fashions both warp and woof; this easy, indifferent sword must be chance—aye, chance, free will, and necessity—nowise incompatible—all interweavingly working together. The straight warp of necessity, not to be swerved from its ultimate course—its every alternating vibration, indeed, only tending to that; free will still free to ply her shuttle between given threads; and chance, though restrained in its play within the right lines of necessity, and sideways in its motions directed by free will, though thus prescribed to by both, chance by turns rules either, and has the last featuring blow at events. Thus we were weaving and weaving away when I started at a sound so strange, long drawn, and musically wild and unearthly, that the ball of free will dropped from my hand, and I stood gazing up at the clouds whence that voice dropped like a wing.

So this passage is obviously referencing the Fates. The talk of fate while Ishmael and Queequeg are working on weaving the mat makes that pretty clear to me. I don't actually know enough about the process to definitively assign each of them a role though mostly they seem to be filling the role of Lachesis (measures thread/determines destiny). But of course it's not a direct comparison only, and the text itself is pretty clear about what metaphor is happening. Still, it's interesting to me that Ishmael is pretty firmly paired with unalterable destiny, while Queequeg is chance/free will/necessity, much more mutable stuff.

It just seems to echo and reinforce the sense of inevitability that has been building this whole time. Reminds me again of the script chapters and how that emphasized the status of "tragedy" in which the characters are trapped.

And yet, somewhat significantly perhaps, Queequeg is personified as separate from all of that here. He is free will itself, mere chance... It made me think back to the various ways Queequeg has had more agency so far, or at least less inevitability. He was looking for any new ship, and it was chance that Ishmael got put in his room at the inn, as well as that Ishmael suggested the Pequod to him. Ishmael was somewhat helpful in getting him a place on board, but once there he's more important. As an experienced whaler, he's definitely higher in the pecking order on the ship than Ishmael, and even in this scene Ishmael says he's acting as Queequeg's attendant or page. It's not like you can say Queequeg has been totally removed from all the ominous imagery or suggestions of inevitability, but maybe there's a case to be made that they come along with Ishmael more? I definitely found it interesting, at least.

Certainly here, Ishmael's fate seems to keep getting more and more 'sealed' in this sense of encroaching doom. At the end of the bit I quoted, free will literally drops out of his hand at the first encounter with a sperm whale. It's far too late to change things.

[theysteponyou]

"Dana Scully was born on February 23, 1964, to Margaret and William Scully, into a close-knit Catholic family. She has an older brother, William Jr., an older sister, Melissa, and a younger brother, Charles (also know as Charlie). Scully's father was a Captain in the United States Navy, who died of a heart attack in 1994. Dana Scully grew up in Annapolis, Maryland and later in San Diego, California. As a young girl, Scully's favorite book was Moby Dick and she came to nickname her father "Ahab" from the book, and in return, he called her "Starbuck", due to this she named her dog Queequeg.

Scully attended the University of Maryland, and in 1986, received a Bachelor of Science degree in physics. Her undergraduate thesis was titled Einstein's Twin Paradox: A New Interpretation. Just out of medical school at Stanford University, she was recruited by the FBI; she accepted the agency's offer of employment because she felt she could distinguish herself there. After two years in the bureau, Section Chief Scott Blevins assigned her to work with agent Fox Mulder" (Wikipedia)

Happy 59th birthday MD. Dana Scully 🎂🥳

I hope she enjoys this time with Mulder and their 4.5-year-old daughter. William/Jackson, your nearly 21-year-old son is out there, I hope he's safe.

[poewritesgayshit]

⤷﹐🧡﹒and a rope descended from the heavens，₊°｡

ship: ishmael/queequeg (limbus company) word count: nearly 3k

warnings: none! there's a bit of rough facefucking, but it's enjoyed by both parties. however, check the tags on my other works if you choose to look at more of my project moon or BSD stuff

summary: Whale oil's neurological effects can persist after one is pulled out of the belly of the beast, so to speak. Ishmael, after being rescued from certain death, needs to wash up before returning to work. But Whale oil sticks around in the worst possible way, so Queequeg, who is still concerned about her safety, wants to help.

ao3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/52487302

[afterthegreatunknown]

headcanon interpretation of fiona’s relationship with her stepfather, as well as the man who is her biological father:

one of fiona’s earliest childhood memories she can recall, is her at the age of two or three, wandering around the house that was her home at the time. fiona can recall seeing her stepfather talking to himself in the library. he’s talking to himself while reading a child rearing book. talking to himself in an language not in english (english is the main spoken language in the city; the language he’s speaking fiona learns, is her stepfather’s native language), looking worried out of his mind. it’s a sight fiona grew to see many times later on in life until fourteen, whenever stepfather thinks he’s alone in the dead of night.

such a sight has fiona, when she became the proper age of seven, had her wishing she was living with her biological father instead. fiona knows by seven that her stepfather’s reading was because he at the time, was too young to be a stepfather. mother, for whatever reason, dated and married a younger man ten years her junior, more suited as a baby sitter than parent.

fiona at seven very much wanted a parent who knew what he was doing. a parent who was already well-suited for the role. but he moved away not long after she was born. he moved away and no one, not her stepfather or other volunteers, never explained. never gave an excuse on her biological father wanting to divorce her mother, and leaving soon after it was done.

and fiona at seven, very much bothered by her biological father’s absence and wanting and wishing a more well-suited parent in her life, while never calling her stepfather ‘father’, for he told her that he shouldn’t steal that title from that man, found it now easier to correct people of their mistake.

fiona’s wishes and wants of having her biological father in her life came crashing down at the age of ten. she and her stepfather were in the city, and fiona did some minor investigating of a ‘t. caliban’ due to a mistaken dispatch (dispatches; it happened more than once) sent to her stepfather on the queequeg (dispatches he never read or see; he didn’t care for dispatches at the time) when it was supposed to be sent to a city in the kingdom of arizona. ‘t. caliban’, who she learned went back by his bachelor name of fernald. fernald, the first and surname of her still missing brother (fiona’s surname is a complicated thing)

knowing now that her biological father left with the intent of not wanting to be in her life, for he returned to city at some point after another ended marriage, and could have attempted to contact her at any point in time but didn’t, has fiona fearing that ‘moved away’ was her stepfather and other people’s way of politely saying, ‘your biological father is a deadbeat who abandoned you, your brother, and your mother’. it had fiona fearing that his ‘moving away’ was connected to her birth all along. but because nothing more was given on the subject (be it told or found), fiona could only speculate.

and she’s fine with speculating, for her stepfather is still around. the sole constant left in her life. a constant who is brash, a loudmouth, and unfit to be a parent (even with all those child reading books he bought as the years went on). a constant who by fiona’s teenage years, has no idea what she would like (friends her age, spending more time on land that isn’t just for supply runs, the truth of almost everything). a constant who will never leave her side all of a sudden.

at least until she finds the queequeg empty, after the return back from the grotto with the baudelaires. no note of explanation given. just balloons spelling out vfd. it has fiona now admitting to herself but not out loud, that her biological father never moved away, but abandoned the family, because of her. and fiona thought she did something that had her stepfather doing what her biological father did almost sixteen years ago.

but when she heard her stepfather’s loud, booming calling out to her and fernald as they were trying to avoid duncan and isadora quagmire throwing hands at them (mostly fernald)? hearing her stepfather yelling at her and fernald for doing so much wrong in such a short amount of time, and then hearing stepfather yelling at himself for doing wrong to make her and fernald make their decisions? hearing her stepfather admitting right then there that his lack of hesitation and blind attention to the organization nearly destroyed all of them?

hearing her stepfather admitting his wrongdoing and failures? while it doesn’t wipe it away (oh no, it’s going to take a lot more than words), doesn’t excuse or explain, fiona knows that her stepfather and ‘that man’ aren’t the same in the slightest. 

for unlike ‘that man’, her stepfather came back.

[what-am-i-outside-my-google-tabs]

Queequeg returning to life to save Ishamel, whose life Is in peril because he tried to save Queequeg. It is sad for It to not be about the coffin, even if the coffin Is there, and finished. The coffin should be tried, Queequeg should put himself in there, before waking up again and telling that yes, he can now life again till death will not arrive as he know It will. But the coffin Is finished, and Queequeg got up to save Ishamel, and even if it does not hurt as it should, i can accept that. Queequeg bleeding and Ishamel being saved.