#the restaurants got too expensive so you have been living off of potato chips. you havent laid down in 2 days. no change of clothes.

[lainpsx]

idk why i find the idea of miquella drunk & lost at an airport so funny

[dredshirtroberts]

God it's no wonder i never thought of my birthday as anything really special and have just been waiting for people to forget it's a thing for years. Fuck the reality of the situation dawned on me and my god is it depressing.

Like...

When your choice - the thing you pick to do because you want to and think it will be fun - for your EIGHTEENTH BIRTHDAY is a Southern Republican Leadership Convention and the only reason you can complain about it 13 years later is because your politics have changed so drastically (for the better, absolutely for the better do not get me wrong), something has gone deeply, deeply wrong in how your family has handled your birthday up to that point.

oh sure we did fun things over my birthday but it wasn't like I had requested we go on a 2 week trip across the country by minivan, mainly camping the whole way in early springtime, and the only reason we were in town to be able to go to the Washington National Art Museum was because my dad wanted to go to a weekend hockey camp, and that just so happened to be the same weekend when the hockey team my family rooted for actually fucking won a game to get into the Stanley Cup on *coincidence* like...

My sister always complained about what we did "for" my birthday, especially if it was something I specifically requested (like the Art Museum because if we're going to be there and i'm 16 and fucking really into art, i wanna go to the art museum because what the fuck else is there for me to choose from in April in Washington DC?). You know what we did for her birthday *at her request* multiple years in a row? Waterparks, Amusement parks, fancy dinners at her favorite restaurant. My mom *chose* to go on long family vacations over her birthday, it wasn't on accident and coincidental and because we were already going to be there, it was on purpose and the reason we were going was *for* her birthday (except that one year, when it was for my sister's choir opportunities but one year as opposed to *multiple instances.)* We went to the beach many many times for my dad's birthday. We always did things *they* wanted to do.

When I became "fun" to hang out with (read: I was old enough to drink alcohol with my parents), I did a sit and drink with my family at a local bar until my little sister drove us home. I went to the only gay bar in a 100 mile radius with my roommate and didn't even drink, and no one even really cared it was my birthday. I went out drinking with my parents, my aunt and her at the time boyfriend (now husband) and their frat buddy and we lost my aunt, my mother collapsed because she was too drunk and I had to half carry her to the corner where my sister was going to pick us up, and hand feed her chips my dad bought for her when he finally fucking caught up like fifteen minutes later after we told him it was time to go home.

My requests for my birthday were "Something small, at home, nothing fancy, just maybe if we could get steaks and potatoes and broccoli, and a fun dessert" because if I made a big fuss, it was always "oh well that's really expensive and we all know your sister is going to want a big ol' birthday and man we really can't plan for that, and boy the off season in springtime is a terrible time to do things huh? Except for when it's your mother who has an earlier birthday but that's obviously beside the point"

My birthday this past year, another "milestone" in my family were it for anyone else, was a complete disregard for my request of something small because I didn't want anything big. And I got ignored. At my own birthday. And told that my family doesn't believe what I tell them about myself. And judged and berated and the only reason any of that was saved was because my partner loves me and even though they lived far away at that time, they bothered to try and do something special for me, but only within the bounds of what i was comfortable with and that's all i wanted.

i cried because i hadn't gotten anything even close to that in over 2 decades. I didn't know i could *like* my birthday.

I am....I am so mad. I am furious. but also? mainly? I am just...

i'm really fucking sad. what the *fuck*.

[themonotonysyndrome]

REDACTED verse - Another day in Dahlia

Summary: When worlds collide, Aaron and Smartass has the ‘old, married couple’ moment when a wolf is loose in a hypermarket. 

-

Dahlia is lively today, the afternoon sunlight dazzling upon the city. Familiar faces, familiar sights and familiar roads are everywhere. 

And yet, the man who couldn’t stop bickering with his lover since the two of them stepped out of IKEA is a changing man living in this familiar city. 

Aaron likes to think that he retains his best qualities despite the passing of time. Firm, true and level-headed - traits that have served him well both in his personal and work life. Traits that have earned him recognition, achievements and praises. However, against a fiery soul housed within an infuriating yet gorgeous body, Aaron has never felt so breathless and helpless. 

And most importantly, lovestruck. 

Unstable and uncharacteristically hesitant, the pieces of himself that are held together with patience have been pulled apart by its seams. But they weren’t destroyed; no, they rearrange themselves into an amazing new form. Aaron isn’t quite yet certain what that new form brings, but already, he could feel himself grow into a man that wholly compliments his lover. 

Like a planet revolving around a beautiful, bright star. He can’t help but be drawn by the star’s gravity. 

There’s balance between them, despite their strong-willed personalities. They sooth the other when one burns too brightly, they offer guidance when the other is unsure. Balanced and happy, that’s what they are. 

There’s never emptiness when silence envelops them. Isn’t there a saying that whenever you’re with your loved one, silence is never oppressive? 

Although, to be fair, silence doesn’t last long whenever they’re together. Not when there’s always something to bicker, something to discuss and something to tease about. 

Case in point, the ugly as fuck lamp that Aaron fought tooth and nail to convince his partner not to buy. 

“Look, it’s not even your money; I was going to use mine for it!” 

“It’s not about the money, Smartass.” Aaron replies back with a roll of his eyes. They’re at the parking lot getting ready to head off to the hypermarket next. The two of them had spent four hours of furniture shopping at IKEA after his Smartass made an offhand comment last week about his couch being way too old and lumpy for gaming nights and movie marathons. 

But before either of them realise it, what was supposed to be a simple couch purchase turned into perusal of dining tables, desks and floor lamps. Aaron got them back on track when you excitedly pulled him towards that last part.

Aaron had never before questioned your taste in furniture before but at that point, he starts to draw the line at a red, human shaped floor lamp. It bows slightly with the most creepy smile he had ever seen on a statue before. 

“I just don’t want to have a heart attack everytime I wake up, alright? You wanted it in our bedroom, beside our bed and it’s creepy beyond all reason.” 

“It’s functional though.” 

“So were the other floor lamps.” Aaron easily pointed out. He opened the car door and waited, unamused, for you to get in. Unfortunately, judging by how your arms folded across your chest in a stubborn pose, his spitfire didn’t want to drop their conversation. 

“What if I put it in the living room?” You suggest instead, the familiar defiant spark made itself known. 

Aaron held himself back from groaning in despair. Why are you so hung up about that lamp!? “I don’t think it’ll fit with the… aesthetic of our house, OK?” He tried the tactical approach first, knowing that a straight up no would not pacify his partner at all. “How about this; we’ll go with your couch and desk and my preference for the dining table. There. Is that good enough for you, Your Highness?” 

You purse your lips, but the both of you know that you’re not so hung up about the floor lamp to drag this argument any further. Aaron wisely chooses not to comment how your lips slowly curve into a smile. 

“Fine. I’ll let you win this round - ”

“Oh my god - ”

“But in return, I’ll be taking over for lunch later.” 

Aaron immediately shut his mouth, surprise and secretly a little giddy that his Smartass had taken the initiative of making a meal for them. That lasted for about a split second before something dawn onto him. 

“You want free reign at the hypermarket later, right?” 

This time, you beam happily but say nothing as you finally slip inside of the Mercedes. And as usual, silence spoke louder than words. Aaron exhales loudly, not knowing whether to laugh or mutter a curse. Trust in his lover to have the final say, ultimately. 

But that’s one of the many reasons why he fell so hopelessly in love with you. 

-

The hypermarket is busy for a Saturday. Smartass pointed at the sales and promotions board display in big letters and numbers when the two of you entered the building, hand in hand. Ah, that makes sense. Children run about clutching snacks in their little hands to convince their exasperated parents into buying, worned out staff restock empty shelves and the scent of fresh produce and floor detergents clings in the air. A familiar sight. 

“How do you feel about crabs?” Smartass begins the conversation. Aaron doesn’t understand why you bother asking him when you’re already dragging him towards the cold, seafood area. Aisles of fresh fish of all kinds are clearly displayed for visitors, the more expensive kind are packaged and a few men are working behind the butcher service counter. 

“I can go for some crabs. It’s been a while anyway.” Aaron answered, grabbing a nearby stack of baskets for their grocery. He tried to recall the last time they had any seafood and his mind helpfully supplied a restaurant where they went to for dinner in March. 

He lets you gather your thoughts as you stare at the frozen crabs critically as if they were spreadsheets. “I’m thinking of rice with a side of buttery crab meats, Salmon sashimi, Shiitake soup and lotus root salad. Sounds good?” 

As soon as he invited his Smartass to permanently move in with him, you had totally taken over the kitchen. Apparently you weren’t terribly amused when he admitted that he’s not much of a cook but hey, he never once complained when you served the best homemade vegan burgers with a glare and a silent, “Go ahead. I dare you to say that they taste like shit. Make my day, Aaron.” 

So instead, after he cleaned their dishes, Aaron proceeded to throw his lover on their bed to thoroughly thank you for the meal. 

Four hours later, the flushed and surprised expression on your face was so worth it. 

But we’re getting off tangents here. 

“Sounds absolutely delicious.” Aaron replied and startled his Smartass with a sudden kiss on your cheek. “Now stop glaring at the crabs and pick some already. We have half of the ingredients back home and I’d rather not spend the rest of our remaining Saturday in the hypermarket. So let’s get to it.” 

Smartass hum in agreement and grab your own basket. Together, they made quick work of what they needed to buy. Not just for lunch, but for the upcoming weeks too. Crabs, Salmons, some meat and later pea sprouts, red cabbages and lotus root - the both of them are more inclined to healthy meals rather than take outs and it really helps that Smartass suggest preparing ingredients that they could cook for the rest of the week, given their busy work lives. Vegetable dishes are flexible and easy enough to cook into anything anyway. 

They moved on from the frozen, seafood aisles and the produce section to where the personal care products are. Aaron holds up his phone in between them so Smartass could check what’s next on the list. 

“Oh shit. I totally forgot that my shampoo and conditioners just ran out.” Smartass blurted. “Thanks for adding that into our grocery list.” 

Aaron scoffs. “You mentioned it twice during dinner last night - in between debating whether or not Game of Thrones is better than Lord of the Rings, mind you - so I can understand why you forgot” Colourful rows of shampoo bottles greeted them when they walk past a couple who’s pushing their trolley carts away from the shelves. He grabs your favourite brand and places them in his basket. “You’re brilliant, Smartass, but I can’t help pity that poor hamster living in your brain for having to run in its ball all day long.” 

You gasp, affronted, while Aaron laughs at the look on your face. Even smacking his arm did nothing to stop his laughter. “You’re too easy to rile up sometimes, you know that Smartass?” He smirks and grabs a toothpaste next. They’re running low on that too. In retaliation for his remark, Smartass sneakily pulled that toothpaste out when Aaron was checking his phone and chose the one with the strawberry flavour instead. 

When Aaron shot you an inquisitive look, you just smiled innocently and quickly distracted him by insisting that they need to get some snacks. 

“That reminds me, it’s not on the list but we have to buy ramune soda. Oh, and some potato chips too.” You pointed out as the two of you rounded away from a large family who stopped in between the body wash shelves and hair serums. “Have you noticed that we go through ramune sodas like crazy lately?” 

The snacks and beverage section is one of the highlights of this hypermarket, in Aaron’s humble opinion. Not only do they have an abundance of the local goods, they also have a wide selection of some really good imported snacks or as Aaon like to call it, your ultimate weakness.  

“Yeah but be honest, are you really going to stop your addiction anytime soon?” 

“What is this? Bully me day?”

“Hey, you’re the one who said it, not me, Smartass.” Aaron is quick to quip back and this time, you roll your eyes. Even if it’s true, it doesn’t mean that you have to like it. 

But that’s Aaron - his words always serve a meaning and come straight from the heart when it’s for the things that truly matter. It’s annoying and yet, it’s one of his best qualities. 

However, just as you were about to rebuke him, the two of you heard a passing conversation nearby the soda shelves. 

“ - not going to play bartender at home again, Angel. Why not? Alright then; let me jog your memory, hmm? The last time I left you alone in the kitchen for more than 3 hours, you came out carrying a tray with the embodiment of everything unholy on this planet separated into three shot glasses.” 

“It was just ramune soda mixed with rose syrup, grass jelly and vinegar!” 

“Asher had a stomach ache for a week, Angel.” 

“But Davey, how do you expect me to get better at it if you don’t let me practice? See? There’s a flaw in your plan!” 

“I’d rather we go to a bar the next time you’re in the mood to poison the both of us.” 

You didn’t mean to eavesdrop on their conversation but you couldn’t help snicker at the stranger’s very much put out and deadpan tone. It gives an implication that this isn’t the first time this ‘Angel’ did something as crazy as mix sodas with vinegar. Hell, even the man’s comment earned a soft chuckle from Aaron. 

“Sounds like he got quite a handful lover over there. Remind you of someone?” Aaron whispered. They couldn’t properly see the couple due to a stack of Dorito boxes in between them but you could spot a tall man wearing a pretty nice looking leather jacket and his partner beside him.

“If you’re implying that I’m unreasonably difficult - ”

“No, no. Just… hmm, passionately stubborn, I suppose.” Aaron nonchalantly replies with a smirk. He guffaws when you poke at his sides and spin around to the rows of ramune with a dramatic huff. Aaron easily follows suit with a fond smile. 

This section of the aisle is quiet unlike the previous ones that’ve been, Aaron noticed. The humming of the air conditioner above them and the crinkling of a plastic bag of chips in Smartass’ hand were the only sounds that broke the comfortable silence. Even the murmurs from the other couple melts into background noises the further Aaron and his walk away. 

That is, until a hair-raising snarl shattered the quietness. 

What’s worse, it sounded like a wolf. 

Aaron reacted instinctively. He opted for the defense - grabbing his Smartass’ free hand, pulling you close to him. His searching eyes are frantic while his mind is trying to make sense that a wolf is somehow in this hypermarket. Full of people. What the fuck!?

Smartass, however, opted for the offense. You grab the nearest glass bottle by the neck and were about to smash it against the metal shelf if it weren’t for Aaron’s quick thinking. He immediately grabs your wrist and shoots you an incredulous look. Silently judging your choices in life. 

‘You have a better idea on how to deal with a fucking wolf!?’ Smartass demanded in silence. Your expression is bewildered; as if you couldn’t believe that Aaron wouldn’t let you shank an unknown threat just around the corner. 

In return, Aaron pulls you closer to his body and glares out, ‘I’m not letting you throw yourself in front of a wolf!’

‘I’m protecting us!’ Smartass countered back, glaring just as heatedly. 

A sweet giggle suddenly interrupted their mental argument. Their hearts skip a beat in fear at the unknown. 

“Ok, ok. How about this, Davey: I'll let you dress me up when we go to the bar tomorrow. How’s that? Does that make my Wolf not jealous anymore?” The same voice they accidentally eavesdropped previously bargained in a teasing tone. 

Smartass and Aaron exchange a bewildered and confused glance. What the fuck did they just said? My Wolf? Was the realistic animal snarl came from the boyfriend!? He must’ve some serious vocal cords and throat to be able to make that sound!

Aaron exhales loudly while Smartass allows him to grab the glass bottle that you were still holding to put it back on the shelf. 

“I think I just lost five years of my life.” Aaron complains.

Smartass said nothing. Without even saying anything, you march to where the couple are. Aaron curses under his breath and quickly chases after you. 

The man in the black leather jacket and his partner glanced at his Smartass when you approached them with a practised smile. One that Aaron knew meant trouble. How could he not when he’s the receiving end of that smile more than he could count. 

When Smartass wants answers, you’ll do everything in your power to get it and Aaron is really not looking forward to wrangling his partner from starting a brawl in the middle of a damn hypermarket. 

“Hi there.” His Smartass began, your body language deceptively open and friendly. “Are you two alright?” 

“Eh?” The one standing beside the tall, frowning man replies with a blink. Upon closer inspection, Aaron realises that he and what looks to be the leader of a local gang are similar in built. 

“Can we help you?” The gang leader interjects. He’s frowning but he doesn’t appear angry. Just confused like his partner. Though he nodded in greeting when Aaron slid up beside Smartass. 

“Didn’t you hear that noise just now?” Smartass plays shock. “It sounded like someone released a wolf in the hypermarket!” 

The man in the leather jacket suddenly looked like he just sucked a lemon; his eyes are comically wide. Meanwhile, his partner’s eyes are equally as wide. Aaron detects a hint of realisation glint in their eyes. Now isn’t that interesting? 

Well, Smartass thought so too. You pressed on. “You heard it too right? Damn near give me a heart attack! I wonder if the nearby staff also heard it - ”

“It’s probably the ventilation system or something.” The gang leader quickly replied, his expression oddly shifted to neutral. Beside him, his partner opens their mouth to say something but he quickly presses his palm over it. They throw a pointed look at him but he resolutely ignores it. “Anyway, good luck with your grocery shopping.” 

Aaron watches him grab his partner by the hand and gently drag them away. It was only when they’re out of sight that they started furiously chatting. 

“Wow, Davey, your slip up was even worse than Asher’s!” 

“We’re so not telling him about this, Angel.” 

“...Does this mean I can tell Babe instead?” 

“Wha - No, that wasn’t an invitation to tell his Mate!” 

Aaron turns to Smartass who just shrugs. Neither of them could figure out what just happened. He’s just glad that you let them escape. 

“Maybe they have some really kinky roleplaying thing going on.” Smartass guessed, wiggling your eyebrows suggestively. 

Aaron runs his palm down his face in exasperation. “I don’t give a shit, Smartass. Can we please just finish up our grocery shopping already? I’m starting to get hungry.” 

“Alright, alright. We just have to grab a few more things and then we can pay.” Smartass assured him and off they continued on their way. 

Though neither of them still couldn’t help but wonder how the hell that man managed to sound like a wolf so accurately. 

Kinky roleplay or not. 

-

I’m tentatively planning to make this into a mini series including the rest of the non-empowered characters with their lovers. I’m already writing for Oliver and Baby so we’ll see how that goes! 

[ebthecelebrity]

Sometimes the Grass is Greener on the Other Side Because it’s Fake

Introducing Brenda and Her Insecurities…...

Brenda stares at herself in a full length mirror. She turns to the left then to the right, eyeing her booty. She sucks her teeth and sighs. “Ugh, why did my mama give me her flat ass!” She walks off in disgust and plops down on the sofa. She grabs her phone and opens up Instagram and the first picture she sees on her timeline is a chocolate IG Model in an orange bikini on a yacht. She clicks on her profile and scrolls only to see more half naked pictures of this model’s voluptuous shape.

“Her ass can’t be real,” she mumbles to herself.

She clicks off and continues to scroll her timeline. She sees her high school classmate with his two kids playing at a park, a photo of some cute puppies, and The Shaderoom’s petty commentary on rapper Bow Wow. She cuts her phone off and walks into the bedroom to find her boyfriend, Keith, laying on the bed scrolling on his phone. He was zoned in.

“What are we doing today?” she asks. He continues to scroll his phone.

“Keith!”

“Huh?” he replies startled.

“What are we going to do today? Did you want to go out to eat at that new restaurant off 49th Ave?”

“I mean...I thought we could hit up the beach later. You know, pack the cooler with some drinks and maybe get something to eat out there.” Keith replies.  

Brenda shrugs her shoulders. “Okay, I guess that’s cool.”

Keith smiles and grabs on her leg playfully. “Put on that sexy swimsuit you bought last summer, you know the black one.”

Brenda rolls her eyes. “Naaaaah, I’ll just put on some shorts. I’ll save that one for another time,” she replies.

She walks out the bedroom and goes back to the full length mirror and analyzes her body again. Truth is, she didn’t like it and definitely not in a bikini. She imagines her pancake shaped booty and A cupped breast looking pitiful in the midst of DD’s and Georgia peaches flaunting in the hot sun. Keith tells her all the time that she is beautiful, that he loves her body, but she just can’t seem to believe him. They’ve been together for two years but till this day, there are many times that she caught his eyes wandering. The beach was just a playground for her feelings to get played with under his dark shades. She truly resents going there but in order to keep the peace this Saturday, she agrees to his suggestion.

“I think my butt getting big, butt getting big, butt getting big…..” The song loudly blasts out of the bedroom. “Buss it, buss it, buss it, buss it….” Brenda silently listens to Keith watch “The Buss It Challenge” on his phone. It’s the new tik tok dance challenge where women appear raggedy looking at first with bonnets, pajamas, no makeup, etc. and then they drop down and twerk in the camera made up with hair, makeup and form fitting clothing. Brenda knew you had to have something to twerk in order to participate. She saw women of all races do the challenge and pop their ass on the gram, gaining likes and lust. She heard whatever video Keith was watching loop in replay three times. Before she knew it, a tear rolled down her right cheek. She quickly wipes it away.

It’s been two weeks since Keith and Brenda’s beach outing. Brenda is now sitting in an exam room, waiting to be seen by a doctor. She nervously tugs at her shirt and looks around the room. A few seconds later, a short gray haired doctor walks in and introduces himself.

“Brenda London?” He asks.

Brenda nods her head. “Yes.”

“Hi, I’m Dr. Castlerock. Nice to meet you. What brings you in today?”

Brenda takes a deep breath and replies, “Well, I want a consultation on a Brazilian Butt Lift.”  

On the drive back home, she calls Keith.

“I scheduled it for August 16th,” she says.

“Brenda, why would you do this to yourself? I told you, I love every inch of you. It’s unnecessary man.”

She could sense the disappointment in his voice. “I don’t like every inch of me Keith! Why can’t you just support me?”

“I want to support you in everything you do, but this is not it. Where is your self love?” he replies.

“I got self love, and that’s why I’m doing it.”

“So you’re really just going to disregard how I feel about your natural body? Don’t I tell you all the time how beautiful you are?”

Brenda remained silent.

“And what about the cost? Isn’t it expensive?” He asks.

“I have cashed out my 401K.” she replies.

“Wow.” Keith replies.

“Listen, my butt has bothered me my whole life. I want to be the woman you lust after on Instagram. I want to be the bad bitch in the bikini!” Brenda cries. “You say you love my natural body, but you’ll love this even more.”

“Aight Brenda, do you. You’ve made up your mind. I just don’t understand, and I never will. I don’t lust after those females. I lust after you. I love you.” Keith replies.

Brenda bits her bottom lip and holds back tears. “I got to focus on the road Keith. I’ll see you when I get home.”

They both disconnect the call and Brenda lifelessly stares out the windshield of her car.

It’s now August 21st and Brenda can’t sit, drive, properly shower, or even have sex. She’s currently lying on her stomach on the couch, watching tv in a compression garment to help reduce swelling and discomfort. This week has consisted of strong pain meds, tears and a little regret.  Even with his disapproval, Keith agreed to be her caretaker for the next two weeks.  He walks out the kitchen area and hands her a small bag of Lay’s potato chips.

Brenda grunts in discomfort while lifting up off the couch a little to grab them. “Thanks”, she says.

Keith looks at her in an emotionless stare. “I got to make a few runs. You good?” he asks.

“Uh yeah, how long will you be out?” Brenda replies.

“I’m not sure.” Keith grabs his fitted cap from the back of the bedroom door and walks towards the front door.

“Okay, well be sa…” Before Brenda could get out “safe”, he had already slammed the door and walked out. The past few months leading up to the surgery had been difficult between them two. It’s like all the love and admiration Keith had for her went out the window. They had not really been intimate and he refused to discuss the BBL. Brenda yearns to get the man she fell in love with two years ago back. She feels that as soon as her recovery is here within a week or so and he sees her new curvy ass, they will bounce back. He will not be able to keep his hands off her. She smiles while envisioning the make up sex they will soon have and how things can get back to normal. Her phone rings. It’s her best friend, Sadie.

“Hey girl, what’s up?” Brenda answers.

“Girl….” Sadie reponses with a pause.

“What?” Brenda sits her upper body up in attention.

“I just saw Keith with a bitch.”

“Say what?!” Brenda tries to get up off the couch but suddenly feels a sharp pain in her upper left thigh. “Owww oh my God.”

“Take it easy girl, I did not want to call you with this shit, but you know I took pics of the evidence. Sending the pics now.” Sadie assures.

Brenda’s phone alerts with the text message. She quickly opens it up and clicks on the picture of Keith and a random girl hugged up outside of a gas station. Her mouth drops open and she’s in disbelief. The random woman has the biggest smile on her face while he holds her close and has both of his hands palming her booty.  Sadie yells the words right out of Brenda’s own mouth.

“How the hell is he going to cheat on you with a flat booty bitch?!”

Introducing Trevor and His Enviness…..

“Aye excuse me Sir, can you take this pic for me real quick?” Trevor hands his iphone X to a stranger walking by who agrees to snap a pic of him in front of a silver 2020 Mercedes Benz S 560. It’s valet parked outside of the Ritz Carlton Hotel downtown. The man snaps the pic of Trevor and hands him back the phone. Trevor looks at the pic for a hot second and smiles.

“Thanks man,” Trevor says.

The man nods his head and replies, “No problem bro, that’s a nice whip you have!”

Trevor is a little startled by the compliment but replies back. “Uh yeah man thank you.”

“Those are going for like $100k.  I’m sure it rides nice.” The man stares at the car in admiration.

Trevor nodded his head in agreement. “Oh yeah man, it’s laced out inside.”

“So dope, I’m trying to get like you one day bro,” the man says. “Take care and stay up.”

“You too.” Trevor replies.

Trevor waits until the man walks out of view and walks the opposite direction. He hurriedly walks two blocks down the street and stops at the bus station. He takes a seat on the bench and pulls out his phone. He pulls up the picture of him in front of the Benz on Instagram and captions “Just dropped 100 bands on the new whip. Talk to me nice.”  He clicks upload and chuckles to himself. The city bus loudly pulls up and comes to a screeching halt at Trevor’s feet. He jumps up off the bench and gets on it to go home.

That next morning, Trevor wakes up to a loud vacuum outside his bedroom door. The door bursts open.  He jumps up startled and rubs the cold out of his squinted eyes.

‘Really Mom?!” he says groggily.

His mom frowns her face and rolls her eyes. “It’s time to get up!” she says loudly over the vacuum. Trevor sighs loudly and rolls over to the edge of the bed. His mom, Cynthia cuts off the vacuum and looks at him annoyingly.

“If you don’t get a job by the end of this week, you gotta get out,” Cynthia says.

“This week?” Trevor asks, confused.

“This week is what I said. All you do is sleep in late and eat up all my damn food,” she replies.

“Ahhh man. Mom, you got to give me a little more time than that. Getting a job doesn’t happen overnight.”

“I don’t know who you think you are, but you are 30 years old still living with me and unemployed. You are not too good to drop them fries at Wendy’s down the street. I told you they were hiring last week and you still refused to put in an application,” Cynthia says. “I’ve had enough!”

Trevor sucks his teeth. “Man, I’m not working at no Wendys. I’ll figure something out,” Trevor replies.

“You got 5 days and I mean it,” Cynthia replies. She angrily cuts the vacuum back on and rolls it out of the room, slamming the door behind her.

Trevor stares at the wall for a minute, in an effort to fully wake up. He has no desire to work at Wendy’s. In his eyes, it was not good enough. He decided to get up and look online for a job. He pulls his laptop out of the closet and begins his search with indeed.com.

“Hmmm...desired salary range? $75,000 a year will do,” He says to himself.

Upon clicking search, he finds a lot of great paying jobs with benefits but the catch 22 is, they all require previous experience. Trevor has a high school diploma. After failed attempts to get into very prestigious universities, he was unable to secure an acceptance. His mother begged him to attend the local Community College to start off with his electives, but he felt that was not good enough. Trevor had dreams of becoming a journalist. He enjoyed writing and he used to record his own radio show for leisure. In High School, his grades were just not up to par for some of the schools he applied for. This discouraged him, and he never thought twice about going back to school. That was 12 years ago, and he has since worked dead end jobs and has yet to move out of his mother’s house. He became somewhat of a hermit, not engaging with friends and family. He secludes himself from everyone. His social media shows that he is a successful businessman residing in Atlanta, but in reality, he is broke, depressed and his mother still makes his bed.

After 30 minutes of searching online, his frustration grows and he slams his laptop closed. There is no way he can work at Wendy’s.  He fears that his fabulous lifestyle would be exposed by running into anyone he knew. He opens up his Instagram and looks at his profile.

“532 likes?! Haha, that’s crazy,” he says to himself while admiring the photo of him in front of the luxury Benz from last night.  He then scrolls his timeline to find a picture of a black suit and purple tie that someone had laid out on a plush hotel bed.  He screenshots the picture and opens his profile up again. He captions “Rise and Grind. #GoodMorning.” and uploads it. He then puts his phone down and prepares to take a shower.  He opens up his dresser drawer and pulls out a pair of blue boxer briefs. They had a hole in the back.

“Damnit!” He yells and slams the drawer.

Three days have now passed and Trevor is in his room playing his Playstation. His mother, Cynthia busts in his room.

“It’s Thursday young man and I’m not playing with you. Have you found a job?” She demands.

Trevor doesn’t take his eyes off the game and responds. “I’ve applied to a few places Ma, can you give me some time? I can’t just find a job in a week like that.”

“You’re lazy! And I want you out tomorrow! You better go stay with your cousin or something. I am no longer taking care of a man child,” she replies.

Trevor pauses the game.

“Ma, are you really going to kick out your only son? I’m really trying.”

Cynthia throws an empty box at him. “Pack some things. It’s time for you to grow up,” she replies.

She walks out the room. Trevor just knew he couldn’t live with his cousin Maurice. He still owes Maurice $500 from weeks ago. He truly had nowhere to go. Finally, years of misleading people with untruthful social media posts, borrowing money without repayment, not willing to work low wage jobs, and trying to keep up with the Jones’ has suddenly come crashing down. In desperation, he opens up his computer and types in “PPP Loan.” He reads where he will need a legitimate business to qualify and knows the consequences. This fictitious lifestyle has pretty much caught up with him but now he’s desperate.  He wants the car, the money, the clout…. He clicks on the SBA website and begins to fill out an application.

[asphalt-cocktail]

Inside Out

A/N: Well in honor of Tony Stark’s birthday being today I wanted to upload this fic I wrote for a request I had in my inbox for a Tony Stark X plus size!Reader. I honestly cant think of anything else to say my brain is pretty dead haha.

Warnings: Body image issues, fat shaming, angst, fluff, awkward first date, supportive Pepper, no spoilers 

Word count: 2200ish

Pairing: Tony Stark x Plus size!Reader 

Summary: Tony Stark’s assistant hasn’t had much luck with dates.

Request for @lilacprincessofrecovery

Masterlist

Submit a request or ask me a question or want to be tagged

Being Tony Stark’s assistant had some perks, like living arrangements and pay, but it also had some down falls like having to deal with the man child’s temperament and the fact that Tony watched damn near your every move. This included every time you got stood up which recently, seemed often. Once a week you would get all dressed up, hair done, full face painted, and go out to wait for your date at some nameless restaurant and wait… and wait… for hours for no one to show. Each night Tony would be waiting for you to come back and stay up making sure you were okay.

Today though, you insisted it was going to be different. Pepper sat with you while you blow dried your hair and filled in your eyebrows “So, tell me about this boy?” Pepper pressed, hoping for as much detail as possible out of you.

“Well his name is Jake and he is a CFO for some bank around here.” You answered, “We’ve been talking all week, I’m really excited, he doesn’t seem like the other guys.”

Pepper nodded her head, she hoped you were right. Seeing you heartbroken at least once a week was starting to chip away at her own heart.

“We are meeting at this Italian restaurant at 12 for lunch.” You said and puckered your lips, observing your lip line and making sure it was even and clean. You looked at your phone for the time, 11:30, time for you to leave. You quickly grabbed your jacket and purse “By Pepper! By Mr. Stark!” You called from the door and with that you were gone without another word.

At the restaurant you waited for 15 minutes before Jake met you at the table, so far it was going better than your last 5 dates. “Y/N?” He asked pulling the chair out.

You nodded your head “Yes! You must be Jake.” You said smiling sweetly. The two of you ordered a glass of wine and made pointless conversation. The same pointless conversation everyone makes on dates; where are you from, what are your hobbies, favorite movies, etc.

“So, where do you work?” Jake asked.

“I work for Stark Industries.” You were proud of where you worked, Mr. Stark had done so many amazing things within the last several years.

“Oh wow, that is such a great company to work for” He added enthusiastically, you knew but retorted a humble answer, “You know I think I am going to quick use the bathroom before the waiter comes back for our food.” He said, “I’ll be right back.”

You checked your phone, and aimlessly scrolled through your social media feed, waiting for your date to come back from his bathroom break. After about 15 minutes you looked around, and sighed, you had no idea what was taking him so long and texted him asking him if he was okay. Another 15 minutes passed and there was still no response and no sign of him. You packed up your things and threw a fist full of money on the table to cover the glasses of wine you sucked down at an ungodly rate while waiting and left. Your drive back home was spent with you blasting music and trying to hold back your tears after yet another failed date.

You were greeted with Tony’s smiling face “How did it-” he started but was cut off by you pushing past him and throwing your jacket and purse on the floor and storming off into your room.

You unknowingly shut the door in Tony’s face and sat on your bed, wondering what was wrong with you. A ping on your phone knocked you out of your thoughts, it was Jake. You didn’t know why you opened it, you should have just ignored his message, but for some reason you opened it curious as to why he just up and left.

Maybe he had an emergency?

You should really post full body pictures on your dating profile.

Was all the message said.

You felt you stomach drop as your face scrunched in pain and you threw your phone to the side. You knew this was why he stood you up, your body, you had always been a bigger girl, ample hips, plush thighs that touched, a stomach, this was why you couldn’t get a boyfriend.

You hadn’t even noticed the knocking at the door until you could hear Tony asking to be let in. You got up and shuffled to the door, Tony sighed seeing your disheveled state, lipstick half gone, mascara running down your face, nose red, and pulled you into a hug. You backed up and shut the door before you accepted his hug and leaned into his shoulder crying and leaving tear stains on his tee shirt.

“What happened?” He asked sitting down at the edge of your bed.

“He showed up this time, but he left before we even could order food.” You answered hiccupping and rubbing your eyes. “Then he sent me a message a few minutes ago saying I should post full body pictures on my profile.”

Tony looked at you in disbelief “All right. I want you cleaned and ready to go in the next hour. Wear that dress you wear to galas.” He said standing up. You looked at him, confused at what he was telling you, “Well come on, hurry up.” He said and leaving you standing there in disbelief.

Within the hour you had fixed your hair and makeup as best you could and waited for your boss down in the foyer wearing your best dress. Soon Tony wandered downstairs clad in a grey suit and sunglasses and walked out to where his car was waiting. He sped up to walk ahead of you and opened the door “Come on,” He said and ushered you into the seat. You looked around still confused at what was happening.

“Where are we going?” You asked once he was in the car and already on the road.

“A date.” His tone was very matter of fact.

You looked at him shocked “A date?” You asked, “You are taking me on a date?” You let out a somewhat bitter laugh.

Tony glanced at you with a puzzled expression, “I’m serious.” He said, “It seems like these guys don’t know how much of catch you are.”

Your face flushed, and you looked down at your feet “I don’t know about that. Maybe they’re right maybe I’m too fa-”

“I don’t want to hear you finish that sentence.” He said putting a hand up “You really have no idea how beautiful you really are, you’re just too much for these guys to handle, they don’t know what to do with all this woman.” You smiled but kept our eyes averted.

You kept a watch out your window and gasped when a five-star restaurant pulled into view. You knew Tony didn’t have reservations, but that didn’t matter when you were Tony Stark. No wonder he had asked you to dress up so nicely. Once again, he walked around and opened the door for you and allowed you to hold the crook of his elbow as he tossed his keys to the valet driver and within minutes the two of you were seated at a table with an amazing view of the city. You looked at the menu and frowned, everything on here was so expensive, way more than you could afford “Don’t worry about the cost I’m buying.” He said, “It’s a date remember?”

You nodded your head, almost forgetting how these things worked after dealing with so many shitty dates. You didn’t know what to say “So, I scheduled the appointments for next week,” Naturally business was the first thing to leave your mouth.

Tony shook his head “This isn’t a lunch meeting, Y/N, I’m taking you on date.” He added putting his menu down and looking at you “What are your hobbies, where are you from? I want to know about you, you’ve worked with me for 5 years now and I don’t really know anything about you.”

You nodded your head, he was right, you knew almost everything about Tony down to what his favorite shampoo brand was “Well, I grew up just outside the city with my parents, I went to college for PR and I enjoy painting.” You continued, on and on, describing your family and college along with anything else that came to mind. The entire time he seemed genuinely interested, which was not something you were used to.

Tony nodded his head taking in all the information you told him and burying it in his vast mental bank “You like art?” He asked, “Have you ever been to the Metropolitan museum of Art?”

You sighed, out of all of your years living in New York, you had never once been to the Met “No… I haven’t.” You said sounding disappointed.

“Well then, we have our next date picked out then.” He said smiling.

You looked at him shocked “Our next date?” You asked, “I thought this was like a one-time thing…” you forced yourself to think of it as a one-time thing, a pity date for all the times you’ve been stood up, you didn’t want the disappointment of getting your hopes up for a second date.

Tony furrowed his brows “Y/n” He said, his gaze was intense “I am taking you on a date because I like you.” It was very much Tony’s style to bypass most formalities and get straight to the point “I see you come home ever week, one guy after another, breaking your heart and I can’t stand seeing it anymore.”

You sighed in relief as the waiter conveniently came to take your order before you could manage an answer, you looked at your menu and quickly scanned it as Tony made small talk with the young man taking your order. A grandiose picture of a steak with mashed potatoes and gravy, all the fixings caught your eyes, and you looked down at yourself and at Tony, back at the picture, then back at yourself and felt a surge of guilt push through you. Guilt for wanting to eat this glorious spread of food, you’ve eaten enough food today, you thought to yourself as you turned the page back to the salads and appetizers. You let out a puff of air “I’ll take a cobb salad.” You said smiling softly.

Tony arched his brow “What are you a rabbit?” He asked in a joking manor.

You shrugged your shoulders “I don’t know, I mean I had a big lunch…” you said trailing off

Tony handed back his menu to the waiter “Go on sweetheart, treat yourself today.” He said smiling slyly.

Your face flushed “Well…” You thought for a minute, thinking about what you had for lunch, oh right it was a nice big helping of tears and wine because you got stood up. “The steak dinner, rare?” You asked the waiter, he smiled and wrote down your order and refilled the two glasses of wine and went off.

The remainder of your dinner with Tony went very well, you two made small talk and were both surprised how little you knew about each other. Upon your arrival back to the compound Tony walked you back to his room, he sauntered by your side with his hands in his pockets, trying to act coy “When are you free next?” He asked.

You laughed “Well, I’m your assistant so I guess I should be asking you that…” You trailed off leaning against your door.

“Right…” Tony said trailing off “How about next weekend?” He asked “After the meeting with the marketing department?”

“So, Saturday at 11?” You asked, your mind was racing, you hadn’t been on a proper date in so long, how was he going to say good bye? Was he going to kiss you? Was he going to hug you? Give you a firm handshake?

“Yes, 11. Wear your walking shoes, we’re going to go to the Met.” He said and smiled, unsure on how to end things with you, he was never good at saying goodbye to people. So, he turned your head to the side and placed a lingering kiss on your cheek, it was sweet and simple and made your face flush. “Y/N,” Tony started, “As long as we are together, I don’t want you to ever feel less than, you are beautiful.”

You held his gaze, no man had ever complemented you so much in one night, let alone treated you this well, you didn’t know how to handle it “Thank you.” You said “I’m sorry, I don’t know how to handle complements.” You said looking down and playing with the ends of your hair.

A grin spread across Tony’s face as he looked at you, he loved the way your cheeks flushed and your eyes darted around nervously whenever he complemented you, it would take a while but Tony would make sure you would feel as beautiful on the inside as you did on the outside

[santoteez]

A Manhattan Tale - Seonghwa

Parts: 1 of ?

Genre: Chef!Seonghwa, FormerDrugdealer!Seonghwa, FormerKingpin!Hongjoong, Bad boy/ Good Girl kinda??

Warnings: Love interest is a Black Female, Mentions of trial evasion, swearing, kinda angsty, eventual smut, eventual fluff

Requested: yes

NOTE: This fic does NOT, in any way, shape, or form, portray the way I view any member of Ateez nor does it depict their true personalities or actions. This AU is just that. An AU.

Seonghwa huffed, chopping vegetables in julienne form. His restaurant had been open a little under a year now, and business was booming. It was November, and reservations were maxed out, and there was a long line outside of foodies hopeful that a spot would open up.  The surplus in customers caused Seonghwa to hire at least a dozen more workers, and he was considering hiring more. He had plans to open up a new location in a quaint part of Brooklyn, hoping soon to be in all 5 boroughs. Seonghwa was satisfied that everything was going his way. Well, almost everything. Everything except Zelie.

Zelie was a 23-year-old recent culinary school graduate. She had melanin-rich skin and long black coils for hair, which she kept neatly in a bun and hairnet. She had big round eyes, almost doe-like, and a full, round pout. And she drove Seonghwa mad in more ways than one.

It began with her mistakes when she was first hired. If Zelie wasn’t overcooking the pasta, she was undercooking the steak. Of course, she got better over time. She also got more comfortable. She insisted on speaking to Seonghwa, even when he didn’t answer. Whether it was cracking a joke on his appearance as he walked into work or complimenting his dishes, she’d just never shut up.

And today was one of those days.

“Chef Park, aren’t those vegetables cut just a little too thin?”

“The recipe calls for julienne, Chef Carter. That’s the point.”

“I mean, I guess so but, it doesn’t call for vegetable chips.”

Seonghwa set his knife down and glanced up at the ceiling in frustration. He turned to the short girl. “Do you ever stop talking?”

“Sometimes. Why? You don’t wanna be my friend anymore?” She asked sarcastically.

“In order for that to be true, we’d have to be friends first, Chef Carter.”

She laughed. “Why are you so mean?”

He shrugged. “Why you so nice?” He placed the veggies into the pan along with the pasta before sliding it to Carlos to put on the stove.

He took his hat off, wiping the sweat off his forehead. “I’m taking my break.” He called out to the entire kitchen.

“Have fun,” Zelie said, to which Seonghwa didn’t answer.

He headed for the backroom, straight for the door that led to his office. He said in the swivel chair, sighing.

He groaned when he heard a knock at the door. “Yes?” He asked politely.

Mitch walked in. “No need to be nice, it’s just me.”

“What you want, fool?” Seonghwa asked, closing his eyes.

“Why you always at Zelie’s neck for, man?”

“Chef Carter? She starts it!”

“Okay, first of all, you sound like a child. Second, you’re literally the only one that insists on calling her by her last name. Hell, she’s the only one you call by last name. I know you’re typically cold, but what’s your deal?”

Seonghwa sighed. “I don’t know. I expected her to give up on being nice to me after a while, like the rest of the workers. But she just doesn’t give up. I don’t get why she likes me so much.”

“Could it be because she senses the feeling’s mutual?”

“Me? Like Carter? No way.” Seonghwa shook his head.

“I’m gonna tell you what you used to tell me back at the warehouse. Don’t be a fuckin’ meathead. Everyone sees how you look at her when she’s not looking, rightfully so. She’s bangin’. Anyways, you also entertain her banter. You know you could easily ignore her and eventually, she’d stop. But you answer her every time. Why?”

Seonghwa couldn’t answer.

“Exactly. Just be fuckin’ nice for once. How long you been single? Forever. Even Bossman damn near ready to tie the knot. Then there’s you.”

Mitch was right. Just the other day Minjoon, Soojin, Hongjoong and Santana came in for their reservation with big news: Santana was pregnant. They feasted on the most expensive dishes and left big tips in the wake of their celebration. Seonghwa would be lying if he said it didn’t remind him of his loneliness. Hongjoong had an entire family, meanwhile, he was still going home to a pint-sized bachelor pad.

“He’s thinking now.” Mitch laughed. “I don’t know, man. Even if by some magical force, you don’t end up with Zelie, at least get yourself out there. You’ve run an empire before. You’re running another one now. It’s time you found someone to help you run it. I’m heading back to the kitchen now. Enjoy your break. Alone.”

Seonghwa scowled. As much as he was annoyed by Mitch, he knew he meant well. He napped for the most of his break, awoken by a text from Hongjoong. After replying he decided to head back to the kitchen.

Stopping at the sink to wash his hands, Zelie passed by with a steaming pot of potatoes.

“Have fun on your break?”

“I did actually. Because you weren’t there.” Seonghwa wanted to prove Mitch wrong, but he couldn’t help but respond. She got under his skin in a way not many people have. It was like she hit a specific nerve every time.

“Being without me sounds like a tragedy. Are you okay?” She dumped the water into a nearby sink, careful not to drop the potatoes.

“I’ll manage,” Seonghwa said, heading to the front of the kitchen to check the rotating ticket holder to see what orders weren’t being made yet.

“You can get started on order #67, it just came in.” Zelie called out.

Just as Seonghwa was about to grab the ticket, the hostess of the restaurant, Leslie, popped into the kitchen. She never came to the back unless it was time to leave or an emergency, so Seonghwa knew something was up.

“Chef Park, there’s someone out there demanding to talk to you. At first, I thought it might be because of the food so I tried reassuring them that they could speak to the cook that actually made the food, but they insisted that they wanted to speak to you and only you.” She said, rubbing her hands together nervously.

Seonghwa nodded. “Take me to them.” He said, taking his hat off once again. He was itching to find out who could possibly be so persistent.

When Leslie led him out of the kitchen and pointed to the table, Seonghwa wished he had stayed inside. The guests were none other than Ray-Ray and Spider. They were with family, so Seonghwa knew they wouldn’t try anything crazy, but he was still cautious. He thanked Leslie and allowed her to return to the front door before making his way over.

“Ladies, gentlemen, how are we tonight?” Seonghwa smiled, approaching the table.

Ray-Ray laughed. “No need to be that polite, Dragon. You act like you don’t know a motherfucker.”

“Seonghwa.”

“Huh?” Ray- Ray furrowed his eyebrows.

“My name is Seonghwa. The establishment is called The Majestic Dragon, but that is not my name. If you’d like, you may call me Chef Park.”

Ray-Ray looked at Spider, who shrugged and chuckled. Ray- Ray sighed. “Okay, Chef Park. I called you over to ask you something.” He got up, leaning to Seonghwa’s ear.

“How the fuck you dodge a trial? Everyone knows HJ never traveled alone. A smart kingpin never does? You buy this place with all that dirty money? The city would hate to hear that. Should watch your back. Chef Park.”

He sat down. “I give you props, though. This shit is slammin. All them years cooking actually did something for you.” Ray-Ray said, the look in his eye showing he definitely wasn’t talking about food.

Seonghwa smiled falsely. “Enjoy your food, and I hope you come again. Thanks for dining with the dragon.”

He stormed back into the kitchen, practically fuming at the ears.

“What happened to you? You look like these tomatoes over here.” Zelie said.

“Not now, Zelie.” Seonghwa rubbed his temples.

“First name basis? Something’s really wrong.” Zelie said, visibly concerned.

“What’s wrong, boss?” Mitch asked, picking up on Seonghwa’s vibe.

“I don’t know yet. I gotta call HJ. Handle that order for me.” Seonghwa gestured to his station, where the order ticket remained, untouched. Mitch nodded, snatching it up and preparing it himself.

Seonghwa headed to the office once again, dialing Hongjoong’s number. He answered on the first ring.

“Hwa you good?”

“I don’t know, man. Some weird shit just happened.” Seonghwa immediately told him everything from his encounter with Ray-Ray and Spider, from the questions about how he avoided trial to the speculation of the city finding out where the money came from.”

“That is some weird shit. I guess that explains the rock.”

“What? What rock?” Seonghwa asked.

Hongjoong glanced at the large rock, with Boy or Girl? Let’s see if you live long enough to find out.

“There was a knock at the door, and I figured it was some pregnancy shit Santana ordered. When I opened it no one was there. Just the rock. I looked around the hall but I saw nobody which is weird as shit because the only way up here is the elevator in the hall, the one in our living room, and the staircase down the hall. There’s no way they made it from my door to the stairs in literally five seconds. Santana’s freaking out.”

Seonghwa pinched the bridge of his nose. “I guess you really can’t run from the hustle. Can’t believe after three fucking years, somebody has it in for us.”

“Well, Dragon, how fast can you get here?” Hongjoong asked.

“Give me 30,” Seonghwa said, switching his kitchen coat for his winter one.

He gave Mitch and Carlos instructions to hold the kitchen down while he was gone. He passed Zelie on his way out.

“I know I grind your gears, but I really do hope you’re okay.” She said in a small voice.

Seonghwa turned to her and gave her a small smile. “Me too.”

On his way out, he turned to look at Ray-Ray’s table. The man had an ugly smirk on his face.

“Leaving so soon, Chef Park? What could possibly have a head chef running out of his own restaurant?” He asked, tilting his head to the side.

Seonghwa shook his head and stormed out as his table erupted into laughter.

Stephie here! No idea where I was going with this chapter jsdjssj, I suck at starting off fics but I promise once you see my vision it gets better!

[susannaprouse]

Twenty three - Guayaquil & Lima

The alarm woke us up at 4.45 and it wasn't nice. We quickly got dressed and got an uber to the airport. After checking in we used our remaining Ecuadorian change on very expensive but nice looking chocolate. Mike had a sleep (having had a bad night's sleep) before we boarded to travel to our next country!

We tried to sleep on the flight, which was a on surprisingly nice LATAM plane. Mike, as always surprised even himself with his ability to sleep on transport and before we knew it we were in Lima. As we got off the flight I noticed a lot of people wearing athletic uniforms. Looking closer I saw the Olympic symbols; we were travelling with Olympians! If I was up on my sports maybe I'd have known who they were but lots of people were taking their photos when we landed.

We got a taxi to our hostel, in the perpetually cloudy desert city (it never rains!), through terrible traffic jams before emerging onto a highway along the seafront. On the way we saw temporary stadiums and stands for Lima 2019, the Pan-American Games! Suddenly the Olympians on the flight made sense! After 45 minutes we reached the hostel and had the quickest check-in and sort out turnaround so far. We were worried if we stopped we'd fall asleep. Instead we walked from the hostel through the Barranco suburb and the along the Malècon to the Milaflores district. Barranco had a real Bristol feeling to it with lots of street art and hipster cafes. Milaflores was definitely the upmarket part of town with fancy sea view apartments and a shopping mall on the cliff front.

As Lima is such a foodie city we really wanted to do a food tour but tickets are so pricey, $100 each!! So instead we took ourselves on a food tour. With a bit of research and Mike navigating the tour began. Before leaving Barranco we had to have what every good food tour starts with, an ice cream! The gelateria looked good and very hipster. It used local produce and flavours to create exotic and delicious ice creams. After trying a few flavours I decided you just can't go wrong with chocolate, especially when it's from South America. So we opted to share a scoop of chocolate nibs and it was absolutely delicious; Swoon in Bristol has a clear rival.

After the fairly long Malècon walk to work up an appetite the second stop was a ceviche place but as we neared we saw long queues outside. By this point it was getting later and we were getting hungry so decided to move on to the next stop, thinking we could come back another time when we'd booked. So the next stop was next to Park Kennedy, a park where all the stray cats live because they're treated so well! The cats are vaccinated, fed, watered and put up for adoption when they can be. There are loads in the park sunbathing and being stroked. Of course I couldn't resist so immediately looking for the nicest looking for a cuddle.

While in the park we spotted a churros seller which was another stop so quickly bought a couple to have. I think this was mainly as a distraction for Mike so he didn't get annoyed with me and the cats. The churros were filled with caramel, crunchy and sweet mmmm! And only 75p each!

After the churros we found a restaurant as our next stop. We ordered our first pisco sour (spirit made from grapes, lime juice, egg white, bitters), an Inca Kola, and a rocoto rellenos to share. The drinks arrived and the pisco sour was strong! Considering we hadn't eaten much it went to both of our heads immediately. The Inca Kola was bizzare, it wasn't like cola which is what I was expecting but was more like bubblegum panda pop. The more we drank the more we liked it.

The food came next and I'm salivating at the thought of it. Rocoto rellenos is a slightly spicy red pepper stuffed with mince, vegetables and cheese. I don't know exactly what else went into it but it was absolutely delicious. And what made it even better were the dauphinoise potatoes that accompanied it. They were creamy and cheesy and delicious. We were very happy. It was supposed to be a starter but was massive!

Slightly wobbly after the pisco sour we headed to the next destination but quickly realised we were flagging from our lack of sleep. We popped into a hipster coffee/book shop for a Peruvian espresso and to use their WiFi to do a quick bit of organising. A perpetual task, but the best coffee we've had on the trip!

After coffee the next stop was a Chifa restaurant. Peru is heavily influenced by the Chinese that came here as cheap labour after they abolished slavery. Chifa restaurants are everywhere and Peruvian cuisine is influenced by Chinese flavours. We sat down and ordered a lomo saltado to share. It turns out you could only order that as part of a set menu so we had to order spring rolls too. It was basically a beef stir fry, but with chips in the gravy style sauce, served with fried rice. Mike loved it as it was basically two of his favourite things combined, chips in gravy and fried rice! It was great but after the rocoto rellenos I think anything would struggle to compare.

The next stop was a stall back in Kennedy Square. It served a Peruvian delicacy, pork buns. We shared one, and putting on our snooty food critique hats compared it to the one we had in Guayaquil. This had salty pork in delicious bread with a slice of sweet potato in that provided sweetness and moisture, while the one in Guayaquil was juicier (covered in gravy) but plain.

Our final stop was to try and find another stall selling picarones, a ring donut, but made with sweet potato! We walked around the park three times looking but unfortunately didn't find one. We had to make do with another churro and stroking some more cats!

Feeling stuffed and completely exhausted (we'd been wandering around for 6 hours!) we sneakily reused the WiFi at the coffee shop to get an uber back to the hostel.

When we got in we realised tonight was the opening ceremony for the Pan American Olympic games, happening just round the corner! We both sat down and watched the ceremony while organising some more.

The ceremony was amazing and I felt so excited and weirdly proud. I don't know what the Olympics does to me (maybe I was remembering the London Olympics?) but I felt like I was going to cry! The Peruvians put on an amazing show with a huge mountain in the middle of the stage which lit up with projections. The performers were all in traditional dress and took us through the story of Peru. It was cool to see all the things we'd come to Peru for encapsulated in the show and made me excited for the rest of our travels!

We went to be very early that night and luckily we had nice dorm mates that didn't seem to mind, but did find it funny that we were sleeping in a bunk bed in a dorm on our honeymoon. I call it a good night's sleep!

[redfoxwritesstuff]

Clover and Lace- Chapter 2

Welcome to chapter two! Chapter one can be found by doing a quick search for “Kit’s Masterlist”. Want in on the tag list? Let me know. As always, we’ve got a big thanks to @winterisakiller who has been a major source of support for this series from well Chapter two on. 

Chapter warnings: Some mutilated bread. 

Chapter two:

“So, figure out where you are going to take the mystery girl on Friday?” Tony asked as he leaned against the wall of the jet. Steve was happy to ignore him until Tony asked three more times.

“No.” He finally admitted. “I don’t want to drive two hours to get to her, drive another two to bring her into the city and spend two more hours driving her home.”

“Get a room? Take her back to your place?” To Tony it seemed simple, a good reason to have her stay the night.

“As if. He’s going to wait 70 years before he makes it that far.” Clint joked from where he sat.

“Not going to wait that long.” Steve protested. “Just not on the first date. Or the second.”

“Or the third.” Bucky added, earning a glare from Steve.

“Or the fourth.” Natasha added from the cockpit and Steve threw his hands in the air.

“Any other ideas from the bleachers?” Steve fishes, wanting to change the topic and maybe even manage to get some real help.

“What is there to do in Arkon anyway?” Bucky asks.

“I’ve never heard of the place but online it says the cafe is good.” Clint offered as he looked up the town on his phone. “Tiny town.”

“Been to the cafe already.” Steve sighed. “And nothing. There is nothing in Arkon. No where for a proper date.”

“Italian restaurant?” Sam offered.

“You can’t go wrong with Italian.” Tony nodded.

“There isn’t even a pizza place.” Steve actually sounded bitter and Clint gasped in what could be actual horror.

“Why would anyone live there?” Clint clutched his chest and dramatically fell back.

“Weather is pretty nice in the area this time of year.” Natasha commented from where she sat. “Pack a picnic and bring some music. Find a nice spot- eat, drink some wine and maybe twirl her around.”

“That’s the lamest thing I’ve ever heard.” Sam laughed at the idea.

“No, that’s actually perfectly lame.” Tony defended. “It’s him. I mean, if she somehow doesn’t know he’s Cap than he’s got to sell her on the whole being a century old thing somehow. An old fashioned date like that could do it.”

“Is that really such an old fashioned idea?” Bucky questioned as Steve looked at his hands. The idea crossed his mind but it hadn’t felt like it would be nearly enough to win a girl as pretty as her.

“It’s classic.” Tony corrected. “Cap is classic. She’s a small town girl. It fits.”

Steve didn’t even look up as the front door opened and two bodies came in laughing. He skipped his morning work out and took the day off the office. No missions were scheduled and for once, he didn’t feel like going into the compound to search up something to do. Two peaceful weekends in a row seemed like a good idea.

“What the hell did the bread do to piss you off?” Bucky was honestly offended at the state of the bread.

Steve got an old fashioned loaf of rye, unsliced because how hard could it be to slice bread? Turns out, when you don’t have the proper knife, it could be very hard. Steve had decided that when he was on his way home that night it was time they buy a proper set of knives of the apartment. They couldn’t keep using their tactical knives for everything.

“Did you cut it with a chainsaw?” Natasha picked up some slices too mutilated to be used in the sandwiches he was making.

“No.” He sighed.

“Just an army knife?” She challenged, eyeing the knife on the counter. “you do know those are for killing, not cooking- right?”

“I washed it first.” Even Steve knew it sounded shitty when said aloud. “I’m getting a knife set this weekend, alright?”

“Why is there mustard on the outside?” Bucky asked as he sat at the kitchen island.

“I got some on my hand. Will you two just buzz off?” Steve was trying, right? His friends were not making him feel any better about this mess of a plan at all.

“Okay, okay. But Steve, really? This-” Bucky waved his hand at the sandwiches, sad and patchy on the counter. “isn’t going to work.”

“What the hell should I do then?!” Steve slammed his hands down on the counter in an unexpected show of frustration.

“Nat?” Bucky turned to her as she was already slipping her coat back on.

“I’m on it. Those were intended to be pastrami on rye, yes?”

Bucky picked up a lump that was intended to be a sandwich and took a large bite before reporting, “Yep.”

With Natasha on mission ‘sandwich’ that freed Bucky up to first finish inhaling the sandwich that at least managed to taste mostly right and set about making potato salad.

“You can’t just take sandwiches, Steve.” He lectured.

“Why not?” Bucky didn’t answer, rather he grabbed his phone and sent off a text, probably to Natasha to request her pick up something more for the date.

Steve was on mission Pie and all things considered, he thought it came together pretty well. The top crust went on pretty enough and when Natasha returned with sandwiches, bottles of water and chips it was time to pull it from the oven.

It was also getting far too close to time to leave. Steve sent up a silent prayer and opened the oven.

“No.”

“What?” Bucky sounded concerned.

“No, no. No. No. No.” The most helpful answer he could provide as he pulled the pie out of the oven and set it on the stove top. A large portion of the top crust had broken somehow and was sank a good ways down into the bubbly cherry goo.

“Well, that’s pretty.” Natasha commented over his shoulder earning a glare.

When the food was finally packed, Steve was sent down the stairs to the far too fancy car Tony was insisting he take. Opening the trunk he found a wicker basket that looked much nicer than the grocery bags he was using to hall things in.

Unloading the bags into the basket and in the process finding a very expensive bottle of wine and much better plates and glasses than Steve had packed, he couldn’t help but be thankful for his friends. Yeah, the meddled and involved themselves in his business. Yeah they pushed and had loud opinions but each and every one of them was rooting for him.

Rosemary puttered about her apartment that whole Friday. Outfits were tried on, discarded and the process repeated until she finally went into the shower where she proceeded to take as long as she could. Everything that could and should be shaved on a proper lady was. She scrubbed, lotioned and polished her skin into silky softness as soft orchestral music played in the background. A few notes played from her office informing her of a fresh notification and she ignored it for now. It could wait.

    It had been a long time since she had a date. It was risky to get attached to people and her brother was less than pleased when she had called him to gush over the attractive man she had met. Rather than be pleased for her he made sure she was reminded of the dangers, the risks and of who she was.

If she kept to herself for much longer, people would start to ask questions anyway, she rationalized. At first she hadn’t wanted to tell him at all but safety won out. He had to know if she wasn’t going to be home. Have a tracker on you, he said as if she didn’t already keep the little specialized earring back on her favorite pair of earrings.

It didn’t really matter, did it? It was just a date. Her brother asked for the man’s name but she refused to provide it. If she wanted to know more about him, more then he was willing to tell her, she had her ways and would be far better at pulling the information then he ever would be. Information was her specialty, after all.

All Julian would find was if he had any public records, arrests or been in the news. Social media accounts he could normally find as well. No, Julian wouldn’t be able to find anything material about the guy. Rosemary could know everything there was to know about him, if she wished.

Rosemary wanted the handsome man with kind blue eyes to be a mystery to her. There were far too few mysteries in her life. Mr. Steve Rogers with his vaguely familiar name would be allowed to continue to be one, right alongside how long she got to stay in this tiny town and if she would ever be called to her dear brother’s side again. It was always better for them to be apart. Really this was the closest they had been to each other in many years, just a few hours drive away. But she did not have a car. It was better that way.

Being alone was hard and she was always alone. There was a knock on her door, drawing her out of her thoughts. Absently, her hand fell away from the necklace she had been fingering. That’s right, this time she wasn’t always alone. Mrs. Jones was always around and checking up on her.

“Sara?” The hearty voice of Mrs. Jones called through the door and she winced at the name. She had always hated the name Sara. More than likely that was why her brother picked it for her this time. Such a childish action, to saddle her with a name she hated even if it was only to be for a few months or a few years. He was still childish. She stuck her tongue out at the thought as if somehow she could stick her tongue out at him.

“Come in.” She called through the door, knowing with the thin walls the old woman would hear just fine.

    “Don’t you just look sweet.” She cooed as she shuffled into the room. “Spin for me, Honey?”

“You think so?” Sara did a little spin to humor the woman. The skirt of her dress flaring out and her hair dancing around her shoulders.

“When does he get here?” Mrs. Jones sat at the small dining table.

“Should be here in another 30 minutes.” Sara shrugged, taking a seat across from the old woman.

“It is so good to see you stepping out with such a fine man. Or any man at all for that matter.” Mrs. Jones didn’t waste any time getting to the point not that Sara hadn’t expected it. Mrs. Jones had tried to set her up with nearly every single man within ten years of her age within 100 miles of her home.

“It’s just a date, Mrs. Jones. Nothing serious may come from it.” Nothing serious would come from it. It wouldn’t do to get attached. It would however be nice to have some company. To have a handsome man call her pretty and maybe kiss her. She was after all nearly 26 and hadn’t had a proper kiss.

Knocking on the door drew them out of their conversation before it could really start. Sara was thankful for that in all honesty. It was a conversation that could call into question her past.

“He’s early?”

“Go, on! Answer the door.” Mrs. Jones ordered as if Sara wasn’t already rising to her feet. “I’ll just busy myself on the balcony. I’ll lock up on my way out. Don’t mind a little old lady. Oh and remember, if he says late- wrap it up Honey. I’ll just put the condoms I brought you on your nightstand, just in case.”

Sara rolled her eyes as she took a deep breath and peeked through the peephole in the door. She tried to calm the blush already burning bright on her face thanks to that old woman. Condoms, really? Sara had been thinking of maybe a kiss. Hell, she’d never even purchased condoms before. With another deep breath she focused on trying to make out who was outside her door.

Safety was always a concern for her but she could just make out Steve’s face too close to the door as he shifted from foot to foot. It was cute to see a sign of nerves from someone so handsome when he didn’t know she was looking. With one last deep breath, she opened the door.

    “Sara. Sorry, I know I’m early.” Steve scratched the back of his neck and glanced down before pushing the flowers in his hand toward her somewhat forcefully. “I ah- I got these for you. I hope-”

    “They’re perfect. Thank you, Steve. Please come in.” Sara took the flowers from him and opened the door wide enough for him to come inside before shutting it behind him.

    With a deep breath she took in the scent of the flowers. Daisies, carnations and lilies mixed together for a warm and colorful arrangement that seemed to embody the summer season. She couldn't help but smile warmly as she placed them in a vase that normally sat empty on her small dining room table.

    “I should have called…” Steve ran his hands down his thighs, clearly a ball of nerves and Sara couldn’t stop the laugh that bubbled from her throat as she turned to him.

“She wasn’t doing anything anyway.” Mrs. Jones called from where she sipped coffee she at some point helped herself to perched on the balcony chair. Somehow the woman could move fast and silently when needed and it was one of the world’s greatest mysteries as to how she did it.

“It’s fine, Steve. Really, it’s so good to see you again.” Finally, he looked directly at her and smiled. Rosemary could have died happy with the way his smile lit up his face.

“God, you look beautiful.” Steve breathed the words and Rosemary couldn’t stop the blush that rushed to her face as he took the sight of her in.

Standing next to the flowers, he found her to be a vision of classic beauty. Her auburn hair was free flowing in loose waves that seemed to dance as she moved. Again she wore a dress but this one took his breath away. It was a simple classic cut that would have almost been appropriate even in his time but the thin fabric cling to her as she moved.

It was easy enough to tell how thin it was as she moved about he could see the ever so subtle flexing and shifting of muscle hidden under the fabric. Steve wondered if it was as soft as it looked. She paired the forest green dress with simple black heels and a delicate chain around her neck. Simple earrings hung from her ears. A vision of classic beauty.

“Thank you. You’re not half bad tonight yourself Steve.” She hoped her face wasn’t nearly as red as it felt when her words jerked him out of his thoughts. Steve wore a simple white button up shirt that hugged his frame and a pair of dark wash jeans that clung to his thighs. Just a bit dressed up from their first meeting but perfectly delectable on his own.

“So, where are we off to?” Rosemary smiled at Steve as they made their way down the stairs that would spit them out into the cafe. Mrs. Jones would lock up at the end of the night but she had a key and codes to get in at all hours and the trust to use them.

“It’s a surprise.” Steve fidgeted and dearly hoped that listening to the team wasn’t going to bite him in the ass.

“Fancy car.” Rosemary whistled as they stepped outside earning a laugh from Steve. “What do you do?”

“Oh just some security work.” Steve smiled and hated how he didn’t want to tell her right then what it was he did.

If she didn’t know he would get to know her as just Steve for a bit longer yet. If he told her now he worried that she’d think he was just using it to get her to sleep with him at the end of the date or at least that was the excuse he gave himself.

“Must be some security work if you’re driving this.” Rosemary laughed and cringed internally, hating how materialistic she sounded. The car was nice, yes. It was also very expensive. She knew this because Julian drives a similar car.

“I ah-” Steve laughed awkwardly and tried speaking again as he opened the door for her. “It’s actually my boss’ car. He insisted that it wasn’t proper to take a lady out on a Harley.”

“Oh.” The door shut and Steve rushed around to the driver’s side. “Well, I wouldn’t have minded a ride on the Harley.”

“Yeah?” Steve glanced her way and she hated how she blushed seemingly instantly.

“I’ve never been on one before.” She shrugged and watched as the small town passed by her window.

“I’ll be sure to bring it by next time.” Next time?

Could she let there be a next time? This was risky enough. If they got along well and there was a next time leaving would hurt more.

“I’d like that.”

He took them into the hills just outside of town. The sun was bright and warm. It was a perfect summer day. Leaving town however was something she didn’t expect. It was also something she knew Julian would frown at. She’d probably have to hear about it later.

Rosemary decided she regardless of what pain was going to come- and this was surely going to result in pain- it was worth feeling a bit more normal. When Julian asked why she was indulging she would just tell him it was for her cover. People were starting to ask questions, she could say. Leaving so soon would just raise more questions.

It occurred to her that for the first time in her life, she was considering lying to the only person she’s always had. Glancing over at Steve, his bright blue eyes on the road and sun playing off the blonde highlights she had wondered about the weekend prior. She hoped he was worth it.

Tag lsit: @bambamwolf87, @dangertoozmanykids101, @sweetbeary713, @0-0-0-0-0-0-0-7, @theoneanna, @alexakeyloveloki, @j-u-s-t-4, @missaphrodite23, @princess76179, @fairlightswiftly

[ephemeral-writings]

Everything I Need // 02

oh sehun x reader

genre: angst

word count: 1.7k

Everything I Need // oh sehun teaches you a thing or two about life. but falling for the boy who lived across from you was not what you had anticipated. 

Part 01 / Part 02 / Part 03 / Part 04 / Part 05

.

TL @snowflakesandkisses 

You woke up at ten the next morning, stomach empty and begging to be filled. Your last meal was a protein bar and extra leftover fries from your co-worker, it was no wonder you were starving. Your mother would surely frown upon the poor excuse of a meal that was a bar and a bag of chips from the school’s vending machine.

It wasn’t too cold out, but you grabbed a jacket on your way out anyways. Down the street, at the corner of an intersection, was a cheap diner that you frequented, especially when you’ve yet to restock on groceries. What your mom never told you was how expensive it could be to fill the cupboards and fridge with food.

You ordered your usual, a sausage omelette with a hefty side of potatoes because you loved potatoes like it was your lover. As much as you ate at the diner, you hated being outside in general. As you played with your phone, you tried your best to ignore the gnawing loneliness that crept up. You drowned out the sounds of chatter as people of all ages shared a meal together, and you were mostly successful with food to distract you, but then they walked in.

The group was the same age as you, and you knew that because one out of three of them was your classmate. You prayed a silent prayer that they wouldn’t notice you. Kim Jongdae was a social butterfly, and despite you being anything but, he had never failed to flash you a smile and gave you a simple greeting whenever you bumped into each other.

“Oh, hey, Y/N,” Jongdae chirped as his friends walked by to sit in the booth behind you.

“Morning, Jongdae.” You hoped there wasn’t a piece of potato skin stuck in your teeth. Jongdae was a pretty good looking guy, just not your type and you most certainly weren’t his. He asked you about the paper that was due in two weeks time, whether you had started working on it or not, and of course you did. There wasn’t much in your life besides work to distract you.

After exchanging a few more pleasantries, Jongdae rejoined his friends. You overheard one of them ask, “Who was that?”

“She’s in my econ class, we did a project together a while back.”

“Oh.”  

They quickly dropped the subject, and you stopped listening.

Your phone stopped being entertaining when you’ve gone through your e-mails(mostly spam and school related). You never understood how people could stare at their devices for hours on end, two hours was enough to give you a headache. It was twelve by the time you left the diner. On the way back, you stopped by a market and picked up some essentials. You needed at least some source of food before re-stocking with your next paycheck which was due by the end of the next week. Eggs, bread, milk, ramyeon, and a new box of cereal would be more than enough to feed one girl.

You walked back to the apartment with all the items stuffed in one bag, except for the carton of eggs which you held. You decided to stop by the mailroom to check if you had any, which you did. Spam mails from your bank, credit cards ads, and a letter addressed from a correctional facility.

“Hey.”

You snapped your head in the direction of the voice calling your name. Sehun, standing a few feet away, was looking at you with a questioning look.

“You okay?”

You looked at him and back to the letter in your egg carton-free hand. What the hell was it even doing in your mailbox?

You nodded even though you could feel the blood draining from your face. “I’m fine. I gotta go, I’ll see you around. Bye.”

To say Sehun was surprised by how abruptly you had left would be an understatement. Your face had looked pale, but more than that, your hands were shaking as you locked up your mailbox.

As soon as you were in your apartment, you ripped open the envelope. The letter was creased and torn on a few edges  and the writing wasn’t in any better condition. It had, after all, traveled all the way from a penitentiary miles and miles from here.

The day before your high school graduation, your father was incriminated for fraud. Unbeknownst to you and your mother, he had gambled away everything your family owned, including any little money left that was keeping your mother on chemo. In the end, the cancer wasn’t what killed your mother but your father, and for that, you never forgave him. After the funeral and sentencing, you packed everything you could carry and walked out of the empty home. So your father, whom you’ve lost contact with for three years now, how did he find out where’d you lived?

You thought you’d never be faced with the man who was the cause of all your sufferings, but somehow he’s managed to creep back in your life in the form of a letter. Like hell you were going to allow anything further than that. The letter tells you that he was sorry for his mistakes, that he’s repented, and wishes for nothing more than to make things right. His mistakes? They costed your mother’s life. Him realizing his mistakes now wasn’t going to bring her back. Repentment? According to the police, your father had been falsifying fake documents in order to cheat money from the government since before you were born. That was twenty plus years of coming clean of his sins, but of course he’s finally had time to reflect after being caught.

You heaved a few deep breaths, realizing the constriction in your chest. You tear the paper into shreds, until the words were no longer decipherable, much like the father figure in your life.

You brushed whatever tears that unwillingly escaped, and quietly prepared for work.

If it was one thing you could count on, it was work being the worst distraction possible. A bad start to the day just makes the shift that much harder to get through. Your boss lectures you for not properly garnishing dishes, in the middle of a goddamn dinner rush, and you accidentally burn your hand with hot soup in the middle of it all. Just the cherry on top of it all, a man then yells at you for not giving him his food before another table’s when his order came in one minute after.

“Sir, we are working on your order right now. It should be done in any moment.” You try to stay as calm as you possibly can, and placate the angry man. “Why don’t I go check on it, okay?”

Everything was apparently not okay when he hollers back, “Are you even doing your job right?”

Chanyeol, the other server tonight, meets you in the kitchen and murmured under his breath, “You want me to handle it?” You shook your head, willing the hot tears away, but your face was no doubt burning red.

“I’m fine. I got this,” you flashed smile in thanks, but he still looks at you, unsure, as you turn on your heels and head towards the table with the man’s order in your hand. Everyone, and literally everyone, watched as you present it to the man and he all but acknowledges you. Instead, he shot up from his seat, muttering to his wife to stand as well, and promptly stomped out of the restaurant.

To think that was the most that could go wrong. Your boss proceeded to blame you for your lack of competence for not bringing the food to the angry man first, “Because their table only had two orders! You could’ve finished that table’s order before starting on the bigger table! Use your brain, Y/N!”  

You bit your tongue so hard that you broke off a tiny piece, and all you could think of while going through that second round of verbal abuse was how you might possibly choke on your own blood.

You finished off your shift with little encouragements from your co-workers, but other than that, you were ready to go home and sleep until the next ice age.

--

The next day, on Friday, you didn’t have class or work, so you decided to head to the police station. Last night you barely slept a wink. Even though the letter had been physically rid of, you couldn’t ignore the unsettling feeling in your stomach. How easily it had manage to find its way into your mailbox, it scared you half to death to imagine the man himself showing up on your doorsteps unannounced.

The bus ride took half an hour, with morning traffic, before you finally arrived with questions prepared in your head.

Despite your father being a convict, it was your first time stepping foot in a police station. On the bus there, you imagined it to be hectic, dangerous even, but all you were greeted with was a bunch of middle-aged men and two women sitting in front of computers, some looking like they haven’t slept in days. There’s a man in one of the cells behind the cubicles, snoring loudly, which explains the annoyed looks on the officers’ faces.

“Good morning,” you greeted a man at what you think is the front desk.

He’s not one of the ones who looks tired, but his movements are sluggish as he looked up from his computer screen to see who was the random girl so early in the morning. “Morning. Can I help you with something?”

“Yes, I have a question.” You took a moment to find the proper words to ask, “Would you know if it is possible to rejected letters from someone in prison?”

The man peered curiously at you, and asked, “Is there someone harassing you, miss?” You shook your head without elaborating. The officer noticed that, so he went on. “Well, I’m going to assume that the inmate is your immediate family. They don’t send letters out unless the content’s been approved of, and sense no danger in forwarding the message.”

“So, if I can request for the letters to not send, may I?”

He nodded. “You would have to contact the facility directly, and handle it from there, miss.”

You gathered as much from that that your father doesn’t actually know where you live. Now all you had to do was make sure it stayed that way.

[lovemesomesurveys]

On average, how many songs do you listen to in a day? Most days I don’t listen to any, but sometimes I’ll put on my Spotify, hit shuffle, and let it play for awhile. Oh, and if I go anywhere I’ll hear music in the car. It really just depends, man. Do you ever buy your pet(s) birthday or Christmas presents? Yep! I always do. For her birthday we get her a special doggy cookie or something and for Christmas she has her own stocking.  Although, it doesn’t have to be her birthday or holiday for her to get presents we kinda spoil her just a tiny bit. ;) What is something new that you learned today? Nothing so far. Worst movie ever? Uhhh. One that just came to mind is Nocturnal Animals. I didn’t like it.

Can you lick your nose? Nope.

Can you lick your elbow? No. Do you think your current relationship will last forever? I’m single, but yeah I probably always will be let’s be honest.

What do you want most out of life? I just want to be in better health physically and mentally,  or at least ya know feel like I’m managing it better and just be in a better place mentally, and to find happiness. I’d like to just be in a better place all around. Who would you love to punch in the face right now? No one. Would you rather watch a movie in the theater or at home? Depends on the movie. Some movies I just have to see in theaters because it’s better that way and adds to the experience, and others I can wait to rent at home or watch on TV. Do you still own any VHS tapes? do you ever watch them? We still have our Disney ones. I haven’t watched them in how I don’t know how long. A very long time. One thing you promised yourself you’d never do and then did? A lot of things. What is something you forget to do often? I forget. What hobby have you always wanted to pick up? I just wish I was crafty and did like DIY stuff. Do you ever feel like life is going by too fast? In the moment it feels like it’s dragging sometimes but then you look back and you’re like omg where did the time go. Like we’re almost in October and the end of the year will be here before you know it. What do you miss about your childhood? Everything. I miss just being a kid and being in my own little world of imagination and playing Barbies and playing with my cousins and stuff. I was dealing with stuff then, too, but I was a strong, resilient kid and I got through it. The tough stuff isn’t even what sticks out when I think of my childhood. My adult self is so weak. Where was the last place you went out for dinner? This local place. Have you ever had to call 911? No. Are you more scared of going to the doctors or dentists? Both. Would you ever stay in high school for an extra year? Why on earth would I have wanted to do that?? What do you like the best about the city you live in? My family is here, but otherwise nothing. What’s the closest orange object to you? The orange string of lights I have across my dresser. Have you ever rolled off your bed in your sleep? When I was a kid that happened sometimes so I had a railing put on the side. What is something that you do everyday? Drink coffee. Dark or milk chocolate? Milk. Have you ever had a pen pal? Yeah, we did that in 3rd grade. What is your favourite thing to order from a restaurant? Chicken tenders and french fries. Do you own any Nike shoes? Yes. Do you put your shirt on or your pants on first? My pants. Do you edit a lot of your pictures? I add a filter to them. I don’t do any like Facetuning or anything like that. What was the silliest thing you got mad about this week? I don’t know, I get irritated/annoyed at any little thing sometimes. How do you like your potatoes? Mashed potatoes, baked potatoes, in french fry or potato wedge form, in hash brown form, in potato chip form... I love potatoes. Do you get along with your significant other’s friends? I’m single. Are you one of those people who will not use a public washroom? Only if I really need to. Are you afraid of spiders? EXTREMELY. I just looked up at my ceiling to make sure there weren’t any. I check that a lot. What is something that you do often with your family? Watch TV. Have you ever been stung by a bee? No. Do you enjoy the sound of crickets at night and birds in the morning? I don’t hear any. Do you prefer ice cream in a bowl or cone? Bowl. I take too long to eat it so cones get messy. What is a good name for a baby boy? Alexander. Have you ever tried counting the stars? How far did you get lol? Yeah, I have. Not very far, ha. They’re innumerable. What bank do you go to? You don’t need to know. Do you enjoy board games? I love board games. Who is the most overrated singer? Taylor Swift. Do you need a haircut? Nah. Can you say the alphabet backwards? I mean yeah, but it would take me longer. When was the last time you were sick? I last had a virus thing back in like May, but otherwise I feel some kind of crappy, sickiness often. What was the scariest moment of your life? The last surgery I had. What is the most expensive gift you have ever given someone? Hmm. Do you hate Mondays? They’re just another day for me now since I’m no longer in school and I don’t have a job. Have you ever taken pictures in a photo booth? Yes. Describe your socks. They’re black ankle socks. Does it bother you when people talk throughout the whole movie? Yes. What do you regret the most? Just not taking care of myself better. Some of the things I’m dealing with now could have been prevented. Do you believe in yourself? No. Do you think you have found your “true love” yet? Nope. What is your greatest weakness? I don’t know. Would you rather live “A good life” or “THE good life”? A good life. Do you feel bad when you kill bugs? No. :X How much water do you drink each day? Only like 3, sometimes 4 glasses. :/ I used to get the full 8 a day, but when I got that virus back in May I slacked off and haven’t gotten back on track since. When was the last time you ate popcorn? Last Saturday. What is your favourite planet? Earth. Do you like animal print things? Not clothing, but I have a body pillow with giraffe print that I really like. Do you have any pets that you had since you were born? No. Do you own anything that you had when you were a baby? Yes. Are you one of those people who are always cold? Nope. I’m usually the one always hot. Do you enjoy Mario games? Yes.

[kitsunebi-uk]

All That We See or Seem outtakes #3: The original first kiss

Another example of me trying to run parallel to canon and feeling like it didn’t really work. I think this romantic evening they have makes for a pleasant read, but it’s lacking the emotional punch I wanted. When I was writing it, and again in the edit, the kiss felt flat, sort of anticlimactic, for me. I decided I liked their kiss the next day in the office better. And THEN I decided I liked it so much better that it ought to be the first kiss! Was this whole ‘date’ scene actually needed in the fic? No. Though to be honest, I kind of miss the mention of the transparent hovercraft over the bay at night :)

(Read the text under the break)

(Read the story on AO3 here)

Even though there was a T station at the airport, and Victor could be back at his apartment in two quick train journeys, Yuuri said he would meet him when his flight came in. He lived so close to the airport himself that it was only a short walk away; fortunately, over the years the noise and pollution from commercial planes had lessened to the point where this wasn’t the annoyance it used to be. Besides, after everything that had happened, he just wanted to see Victor.

           Yuuri waited within a small crowd of people outside of customs. It always felt strange doing this, as if they were an audience waiting for entertainers to appear onstage. Weary passengers pushing trolleys emerged in a trickle – and then there was Victor, in black slacks and a dark blue T-shirt, a plain black jacket slung over his arm, and his travel bag over his shoulder. He’d obviously packed lightly. When he spotted Yuuri, the fatigued look on his face melted away, and he beamed and strode forward.

           Yuuri hadn’t been prepared for the way his heart suddenly leaped and began thrumming. He reached out, once Victor was close enough, and enveloped him in a hug; and Victor quietly did the same. There was the hint again of cloves from what must have been his aftershave, and sweat, and Victor, that Yuuri had noticed when they’d stood together on the mountain. He breathed in and then sighed against Victor’s neck, feeling the heat of their bodies through their thin shirts.

           I love you.

           Oh…wow.

           It was completely, undeniably true, he knew. And both frightening and intoxicating.

           He wished the moment could last forever, but eventually they pulled apart. Victor’s cheeks were pink and his eyes bright.

           “Good flight?” Yuuri said, for lack of anything better. His brain seemed to have stopped functioning. With a quick check, he was relieved to find that his chip was OK at least.

           “We made good time after the delay. Well, I’m sure you realized. Thanks for coming, Yuuri. You…you didn’t need to.”

           Yuuri started walking, and Victor fell in alongside. “I just thought…after what happened, you know…it’d be nice to say hi. I’m glad Makkachin’s better.”

           “Me too,” Victor said with a little smile. “I made my dad promise to keep chocolates well out of reach from now on. After all this time, he didn’t know Makka could open the cupboard.”

           “Dogs will get into anything.”

           They fell silent; and when they arrived at the stairs that led down to the T station, Victor paused and looked at Yuuri. “I haven’t had a good meal for hours. There’s not much food in my apartment either, unless I want yogurt or a packet of cheese for dinner. I’m tired, but I’m hungrier. Would you like to join me somewhere?”

           “You want to go out to eat?”

           “Sure. And you went to all the effort just to come here and see me for a few minutes, so – ”

           “It wasn’t any effort. I got home from work a while ago and walked over.”

           “How about steak? That’s paleolithic, isn’t it?”

           “About as paleolithic as it gets,” Yuuri laughed. “And I love it. I haven’t eaten yet, either. Um…Joe’s is really good, downtown on the harbor.”

           “Sounds very American. Perfect. I could just do with getting back to my apartment and showering and changing, so why don’t I meet you there at…eight o’clock?”

           Yuuri grinned and nodded. “OK. I’ll get us a table and meet you inside.”

***

What do I do? What do I wear? How do I behave? Christ.

           Yuuri’s head was still in a whirl. He told himself that nothing had changed with Victor, apart from his awareness of the depth of his own feelings – despite what he’d promised himself about standing back and admiring. Well, he was still doing that, wasn’t he? Just admiring very much.

           And not exactly standing back, either. That was twice now that they had embraced. And when they did, in the warm stillness of the moment, he found himself wanting so much more.

           This never ended up how I was hoping it would when I was attracted to someone before. It was humiliating. But things were different now…weren’t they? He was different. Even so, he really had no clue how to negotiate these waters. They could drown him so easily.

           This is Victor. My best friend. My research partner. Not some random guy I’ve hit on. Get a grip.

           So, what to wear to Joe’s? Jeans – too casual. Work clothes – out of place. He decided on dark brown woolen pants, a red-and-black plaid shirt with the sleeves rolled up, and brown loafers; then laid them out on his bed, had a quick shower, and put them on. The shirt was a little on the hot side right now, but according to the Friday, the temperature was already dropping outside as the sun dipped toward the horizon.

           He took the T downtown and arrived in plenty of time, having called beforehand to book a table. The interior of the restaurant was on the dim side, the walls paneled with dark wood, the seats upholstered in brown vinyl. Soft white light played from little lamps with shades ensconced along the walls, and sitting on every table. They’d given Yuuri a booth, and he slid in, plucking a menu from its stand but only giving it a cursory glance, having been here before and knowing more or less what he wanted. He didn’t usually wait this late to eat dinner, and his body was starting to protest at the fast, though at the same time the butterflies inside of him strove to chase all vestiges of appetite away.

           It’s just Victor. That’s all. If I can’t handle this now, how are we going to carry on researching together? Get a grip.

           He was beginning to think he was a poor source of rather repetitive advice. After all, he wouldn’t say such things to anybody else, and they never helped anyway.

           Passing the time by browsing scientific news sites on his chip, he looked up not long afterward to discover Victor had appeared and was slotting into the booth across from him, carrying a dark jacket which he tucked in the corner. Despite the circles under his eyes, he looked pleased to be there, and gave Yuuri a little smile.

           “If the aroma in here is anything to go by, this is going to be a fantastic meal,” he said.

           “It always is.” Yuuri watched Victor’s head droop while he read the menu. “Sure you’re up to this? You look like you could do with a good long sleep.”

           “I won’t sleep on an empty stomach. Let’s see…hm.”

           Yuuri couldn’t help but look. The gentle light setting Victor’s soft pale hair aglow. His pink lips, pressed together as he tried to make a decision. He was wearing a black cotton long-sleeved shirt with the first several buttons undone, exposing a gorgeous expanse of white throat, smooth and curved and muscular. Yuuri wondered what it would be like to kiss and taste it.

           Jesus, what’s wrong with me? I’m not a vampire. Get a –

           “Steak, baked potato and a salad – that’s what people usually order in these places, isn’t it?” Victor said brightly, putting the menu down.

           “Haven’t you been to steak houses in New York?”

           “Not very often. I’m used to getting ready meals and freezing them, or getting pizza delivered at work, that kind of thing. It’s only since I’ve been here with you that I’ve tried so many amazing new foods. Though the ones you cook yourself are the best.”

           “Flatterer,” Yuuri chuckled. He’d cooked them a grand total of one meal. Putting his own menu away, he interfaced with the screen on the wall next to him via his chip and selected his order. Steak, rare, au jus, with sweet-potato fries and a salad.

           When the food arrived, Victor laughed and commented that if Yuuri’s steak was any rarer, it would get up off his plate and walk away; then they ate in easy silence punctuated by small talk. Yuuri was curious to hear more about Russia. Victor’s father’s workshop sounded fascinating. And St. Petersburg must be beautiful this time of year. He wondered if he would ever be there to see it himself.

           After dinner, Victor asked Yuuri if he would like to take a walk along the harbor. Yuuri had refrained from suggesting anything else himself, knowing how tired Victor was, but he was happy to accede. He hadn’t brought a jacket, his shirt keeping him warm enough for a summer evening, though Victor was wearing his black jacket again with the embroidered gold dragon, which glinted under the street lights. They were on a gray-bricked path with tall old trees to the left and the water to the right, bordered only by decorative short iron posts linked to each other with a chain. The city lights glimmered yellow, orange, red and white as the breeze rippled gentle waves.

           “Is this good enough to get you to stay and finish the research with me?” Yuuri asked. “I know it’s not New York City, but…”

           Victor’s brow wrinkled as he looked at him. “I never intended to do anything else.”

           “It’s just that…well, we haven’t talked about what happened on Tuesday. How I almost fucked up the presentation, and went and called you when you were halfway across the world, worried about Makkachin. I thought…” He shrugged. “I don’t know, that it might put you off.”

           Victor huffed in surprise and was poised to reply when he spotted something a little distance down the path. “Yuuri, look – a hovercraft.” His eyes sparkled. “Let’s go for a ride.”

           “What?” Yuuri said, taken aback. “Um, well I guess the view would be pretty from up there, but I wouldn’t know. Those things are expensive to go on.”

           “It’ll be fun. I’ll pay.”

           “I don’t – ”

           “Come on, Yuuri,” Victor said with a smile, taking his hand and then starting to run. Laughing, Yuuri dashed behind him, still holding his hand. Yuuri had never been on a hovercraft before, and discovered it was completely chip-controlled. There was a sign with instructions; Victor paid for twenty minutes, and they both climbed through a hatch into the vehicle, which at the moment was transparent, though Yuuri knew it could tint to whatever opacity you required, like office windows. It was saucer-shaped with a dome, reminiscent of a water ride at an amusement park, made to seat perhaps six people around its circumference, though no one else was around to join them. The hatch closed, and the hovercraft lifted vertically out of the water with a quiet humming noise. Yuuri could see through the seats, through the floor, and all around, almost as if they were floating, surrounded by nothing but empty air.

           “Wow,” he enthused, squirming around to take in the whole of the view. “Where is this thing taking us?”

           “I picked a route that goes a little distance over the harbor and back,” Victor answered, tilting his head up and looking at the sky, then at the buildings and twinkling lights and shimmering waters they’d quickly left behind at what Yuuri reckoned must be about half a kilometer below, just higher than the tallest building.

           They sat next to each other, quiet for the most part as they briefly flew further out to sea, over several islands, and then back the way they had come. Yuuri decided he had rarely experienced anything so peaceful; though his proximity to Victor was making it impossible to completely relax. His pulse was racing again. The only light in the hovercraft was what entered from the city lights, limning them both in silver shadows, though their faces caught the warm glow of the lights as they drifted at a leisurely pace back to the harbor and the pier.

           “Yuuri…” Victor said, looking at him earnestly, “about what you were saying before…How could you think I’d be put off by a phone call?”

           Yuuri blinked. “Um, well it felt like I was intruding. I didn’t want to – ”

           “How could you ever think that?”

           Yuuri paused again, unsure of what to say, surprised at the feeling in Victor’s words. “I told you I was going to do the presentation by myself. That I was confident and prepared. But I got anxious, and then my chip blew – ”

           “That wasn’t your fault.”

           It kind of was. “Still…I just wanted to do better. It felt like I was letting you down.”

           Victor shook his head slightly, looking as if he couldn’t believe what Yuuri was saying. “Then you might be surprised to hear that I didn’t feel that way at all. Not for a moment.” He smiled, and Yuuri couldn’t look away from those eyes, so blue even in the shadows. “I was surprised when you volunteered to do the presentation on your own in the first place, because you’ve said how much it bothers you. And then, even when you were so upset on Tuesday, and your chip and tablet were both damaged…I wanted to help, Yuuri, I really did. But in the end I thought the best solution might be to cancel the presentation. There wouldn’t have been any harm done. You found the strength somewhere inside of you to do it, though.” His eyes were shining, and he added quietly, “It must have been good, too. Doctor Zhou called me and told me how impressed he was with our research, and how much he enjoyed attending the presentation.” At Yuuri’s gasp of surprise, his smile grew wider. “I think you did better than a lot of people would in that situation, Yuuri.”

           Yuuri just huffed in amazement, then returned his smile. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw the pier approaching; the ride was almost at an end. He tilted his head to watch; and when he turned it back to look at Victor, a jolt of shock raced through him as he was quickly and tightly embraced. He barely had time to notice how Victor closed his eyes and parted his lips before Yuuri felt them pressing firmly against his own. Instinctively he wrapped his arms around Victor, though his eyes remained wide open in stunned silence; and then the moment passed, the hovercraft splashed lightly into the water, and Victor drew back so that their gazes met.

           “That was the only way I could think of to show you how much you impressed me,” he murmured.

           It took Yuuri a moment to find his voice. They still had their arms around each other. “Really?” he said quietly.

           A polite knock on the hatch of the hovercraft brought Yuuri’s attention to the fact that other people were waiting for them to untangle so that they could have a ride. He and Victor both gave a soft laugh and stood up, the hatch opening for them.

           “Your bag?” Victor said, holding it up as Yuuri began to step out.

           “Oh…yeah. Thanks,” he said with a sheepish grin, taking it and shrugging the strap over his shoulder. Victor hadn’t been carrying anything, but Yuuri had a habit of taking certain possessions with him wherever he went.

           They stood and faced each other, Yuuri fingering the strap, struggling to form a coherent thought or decide what he should do. Fortunately, Victor seemed to sense his confusion.

           “I’d better get back to my apartment; I can barely keep my eyes open.” He laughed softly. “But I’ll be at MIT in the morning. I wish I didn’t have to go to New York this weekend, but well, two weekends in a row…”

           “I understand,” Yuuri said, though he didn’t, because he didn’t know what Victor did there. “Thank you,” he said fervently, grasping for words.

           “Walk with me to the T station?”

           Yuuri nodded, and they strode next to each other over the short distance. When they arrived, they each needed to board from separate platforms.

           Victor’s hand gripped Yuuri’s briefly, giving it a squeeze. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Yuuri.”

           “Good night, Victor.” Their eyes held for a moment longer while they exchanged grins, and then they parted.

           There was a train already waiting on Yuuri’s platform, but he let it go, feeling dizzy.

           He kissed me.

           Victor Nikiforov kissed me.

           Suddenly he rummaged in his carryall and pulled out the biochem monitor, switching it on and waiting for it to take a reading. Adrenaline, dopamine, serotonin, testosterone, endorphins, all high. Pulse rate 46.8% above average.

His heart gave a leap, and he laughed and did a little twirl.

***

Yuuri had a class to teach the next day, but for once his mind wasn’t on it as he jogged to work. By the time he was downtown, he realized he didn’t even remember crossing the bridge over the harbor to get there.

           The fact that Victor had kissed him put paid to his fears that Victor did not want a romantic relationship with him. That in itself had kept Yuuri in a drunken stew of endorphins and happy hormones since the previous night. It felt like his feet were hardly touching the ground as he flew over the sidewalk.

           When he thought back on what had happened afterward, however, he suspected he hadn’t made his feelings very clear. He’d been too surprised to do anything decisive at the time, and then almost before he knew it they’d said goodbye at the station. Had Victor been wondering all this time whether he’d made a mistake; that Yuuri hadn’t liked what he’d done? He had to show him that wasn’t the case at all.

           He felt a conflict inside of him, however – because of course I can’t let anything good happen to me without trying to make a mess of it, he thought to himself – in the sense that part of him had been longing to be in this situation, while the other part was worried that it would be Victor who’d decide he had made a mistake, when he found out how anxious and inexperienced Yuuri really was. He’d never been in a romantic relationship and knew he would be questioning everything he did. It might even feel like that first day in Boston with Victor all over again, wondering if he was doing and saying the right things; telling himself Victor was out of his league.

           Fucking hell. I am my own worst enemy.

           Victor had initiated this. Yuuri was going to continue it, and he was going to be brave enough to face the uncertainties, taking each one as it came. As long as Victor was willing to be patient with him. Uncertainties could be unsettling…but not impossible to negotiate. Every day was full of them, after all.

           As he passed through the front door of Building 46 and into the atrium, however, there was a sick flutter in his stomach. How did one go about kissing someone – making that moment happen, rather than waiting for some perfect romantic opportunity? Without it being awkward or embarrassing? A smooth operator would know just how to touch, and what to say, in the right tone of voice. But if Yuuri had known how to do any of those things, he might have tried kissing Victor himself long before now.

           What if Victor was sitting at his desk when Yuuri walked in? Should he walk over there, bend down, and kiss him? No. Too weird. He needed him standing. So while he waited for him to stand, should he just say he really liked the kiss last night, and put him at his ease? No, that wouldn’t work at all.

           Shit. Shit, shit, shit.

           Well he winged his presentation, didn’t he? He could wing this. He could.

           His hand was shaking when the Friday clicked the office door and he pulled it open.

           No Victor.

           He took a deep breath, draped his suit coat over his chair, and went to make himself a cup of tea. He ought to be thinking about the work they were planning in the lab for that day, anyway. That would be the professional thing to do.

           The water was boiled, and he’d just dropped a peppermint teabag into his mug, when he heard the door open and close behind him. He swallowed as a wave of trepidation swept through him. Could it be Phichit? No, he’d bound straight over to his desk and say a cheerful hello. This person was quiet, more deliberating, as they hung their coat on the hook and paced softly across the room. Victor.

           Yuuri smelled his aftershave before he actually saw him. Then he was standing next to him at the little counter, wearing a plain white button-down shirt like Yuuri’s. “Good morning,” came his gentle voice. “I don’t suppose I could have a cup of coffee? My body doesn’t know whether it’s in Boston or St. Petersburg, which means it probably thinks it’s somewhere in the middle, like Iceland.”

           “Sure.” Yuuri poured water into the machine. Victor placed a palm on the counter, centimeters away from Yuuri’s hand. He was standing very close. Yuuri could hear his breaths.

           “How are you?” Victor asked him. Those eyes were on him; he could feel it.

           “I…I’m good,” he said, his voice hitching.

           “Yuuri – ”

           “Victor,” Yuuri whispered, turning and gripping his shoulder, quickly eliminating the remaining space between them as he tilted his head up and captured his lips. They were soft and pliant, unlike the quick hard kiss of the night before. Then Victor was wrapping his arms around him, one hand moving up and down his back in a slow caress. Yuuri wasn’t sure if he was trying to do the right things with his mouth, dredging up memories of brief half-drunk fumbles in bars, but he followed Victor’s lead, feeling like he could float away while at the same time a delicious warmth radiated through his body. He stroked Victor’s cheek with his palm, then with the outside of his fingers. There was a small puff of air on his skin as Victor breathed out through his nose. Then he caught Yuuri’s upper lip, lingering briefly before pulling back.

           “I wonder what your biochem monitor would be showing right now,” he said with a little laugh.

           “I’m going to find out. Seriously. Just, um, wait here a minute.” Yuuri dashed over to his carryall on the floor next to his desk, found the monitor, and brought it back over to the counter, where Victor was giving him an indulgent smile. His cheeks were the most beautiful rosy pink.      

           “Well?” Victor asked with a raised eyebrow.

           Yuuri laughed as he looked at the readout. “Heart rate 32.6% above baseline. The rest…” He lowered his voice, raising his eyes back to Victor’s. “…thoroughly indecent.”

           “Hm. Let’s see if we can’t improve that,” he said, tilting Yuuri’s chin up delicately with the tips of his fingers. Yuuri was practically quivering with anticipation. He put the monitor down on the counter, forgotten, as Victor’s lips found his own, light and teasingly exploratory at first, then more insistent. Yuuri edged closer, until he could feel the hard muscle and bone under Victor’s shirt, and then they were embracing again. Yuuri reached up to trail his fingers through the fine silky strands at the back of Victor’s head – how he’d ached to do this, for so long. Victor swiped Yuuri’s lower lip gently with the tip of his tongue, and Yuuri instinctively deepened the kiss to give him access.

           This was so, so different from Dominic and his tonsil hockey at the club. It was…melting, drowning in red heat. He felt a moan escape his throat, and heard a similar noise in response from Victor. Where were they? He couldn’t even remember.

           The snicking sound of the door opening caused them both to start and then jerk back. Yuuri just stood there looking stupidly at Victor as Phichit entered the office and headed to his desk. He smiled knowingly over at them both.

           “I’m not, um, interrupting anything, am I?”

           They both said a hasty “no” at the same time, Yuuri picking up the biochem monitor and going to sit down in his chair, while Victor poured himself some coffee.

           “I just came in to get a couple of things from the drawer here,” Phichit said, opening it and grabbing some metal components.

           “Don’t leave on my account,” Victor said politely. “If you need to use your desk – ”

           “No, it’s fine.” Phichit gave them each another smile, waggling his eyebrows at Yuuri while he had his back turned to Victor. “I’ll let you two get back to what you were doing.” Then he disappeared out the door.

           Yuuri took another reading from the biochem monitor. “Heart rate 47.7% above baseline,” he said, huffing a laugh.

           “I bet mine’s higher,” Victor said in a low voice, giving him a hooded gaze. He put Yuuri’s mug of tea on the corner of his desk for him, then sat down with his cup of coffee. “We could aim to keep breaking our records.”

           Yuuri let out a breath, feeling a flush of heat to his face, and Victor chuckled.

           “But we do have a lot of work to do, too.”

           “Yeah,” Yuuri agreed with a sigh. Though god knows how I’m ever going to be able to concentrate on it.

[thisislizheather]

Navigating November 2020

Wonderful, another month has come and gone. It’s hard to tell when I’m in a bad mood these days. I feel like all of my moods are sprinkled with bits of sadness since it’s been such a rough year on everyone. It seems hard to be hopeful and optimistic for the coming months because of everything that has gone on already, but I think I’ll continue on with my internal mantra of “fake it ‘til you make it” - that’s healthy, right? In any case, here’s what happened last month:

I usually don’t mention the things that I don’t do, but this one is notable: I didn’t have the Thanksgiving croissant from Milk Bar this year (because I’m in Canada at the moment). So this is really just a reminder to myself to go hog-wild on them next November.

I can’t remember if I’ve mentioned them before, but the ready-made roast beef sandwiches at San Remo’s in Etobicoke? A PERFECT SANDWICH.

I rewatched the original (better) Jumanji and goddamit what a great movie. How did I forget what a perfect movie that was? Miss Robin Williams so much. Which reminds me: I gotta rewatch Jack soon (Coppola’s greatest movie, in my humble opinion). Haven’t seen that one in ages.

Some thoughts on how to have a less expensive Christmas.

Love the new “Oat Milk Latte” nail polish colour at Urban Outfitters. Something about a boring neutral has been really turning me on lately.

The best new hand lotion I’ve used in a long time: this Kiehl’s Hand Salve. I put it on once in the morning and once before bed and it’s crazy how soft it makes them, even if you wash your hands numerous times a day (which, god, I hope you’re doing).

I know that I tend to live in the past at times, but are you ever needing to print some photos fast and don’t know where to get it done? Years ago, they had machines at Shoppers and then they disappeared. And I just discovered that Staples has those print-right-now machines! It takes seconds to print from your phone and it’s crazy cheap. I think you can only get 4 x 6 in size, but still. That’s great!

I’ll always love Cobs Bread (thanks to Marla years ago for introducing me) but I just tried their garlic focaccia and my god. Heavenly. It also makes a great base for any kind of at-home grilled cheese or even an at-home garlic bread using garlic butter.

So I tried the Popeye’s chicken sandwich that people were stabbing each other for and… I fully understand the murdering mentality. It’s an incredible chicken sandwich. I was expecting not to understand the hype, but here I stand before you, four chicken sandwiches deep.

I’ve been consistently using the Luna Night Oil from Sunday Riley (a small version that came with a gift set) and I think it’s really working well. My skin looks amazing in the morning after each use. So I might bite the bullet and buy the full size when I run out.

Just so sad to see Alex Trebek pass away. Favourite clip, followed by second favourite clip.

I simply cannot stop ordering the vegetable fried rice from Fortune Dragon in Mississauga. Can’t and WON’T.

I had such a terrible experience using Skip The Dishes the other night (there was a problem with an order and the restaurant refused to fix the problem and I was on the phone with STD (hahah, can we all call them this from now on PLEASE) for over an hour, just disgusting). So now they’re banned in our house.

And speaking of annoying food experiences, Scaddabush got rid of the best sandwich on their menu. What. the. hell. It was a prosciutto cotto grilled cheese with Italian cured ham, caramelized onions, mozzarella, and fig jam on a focaccia bun and IT IS NO MORE. I did attempt to make it at home one night and it was actually really good, but still. Who wants to spend their evenings caramelizing onions for hours in the kitchen? Well, I do, for one. But regardless! Bad move, Scaddabush.

I came across these actually helpful, fast TikTok beauty tips.

Excited to visit this new food hall in Long Island City one day.

Love these two new Tierra Whack songs.

I love hearing these kinds of butterfly effect stories, always.

This whole listicle made me laugh.

How on earth can someone build a roller coaster in their backyard? People continue to impress me. This is amazing.

It’s pure and complete trash that chihuahuas never win dog shows. 

Look at this beauty from The National Dog Show.

Considering this beautiful palette for purchase even though I have plans to go nowhere, every night, for the rest of time.

I made these fondant potatoes and they were good! Love a new way to cook a potato.

I watched Coneheads for the first time and it was a surprisingly fun movie. It also happens to be the ultimate pro-immigration movie. Loved it.

I watched the Fresh Prince reunion and it was good! It was nice to see Nicky.

If you’re looking for a dog groomer in Mississauga, I can’t say enough good things about You Lucky Dog Grooming. They cut Baby Dog’s nails perfectly for $10 and it took less than five minutes. They were so gentle and caring, definitely only gonna go here from now on.

There were a few massive holes in the ceiling in my parents basement (an estimate said it would be $1000 to fix) so I went to Home Depot, got the supplies and did it myself. This is something I would never even want to do, let alone actually do, so the fact that it’s fixed now is insane. Here's what it looked like.

Above Photo: This whole job cost $17 from Home Depot. Nothing is impossible.

I made my niece Layla watch Sleeping With The Enemy and The Curious Case of Benjamin Button for the first time and I think she liked both, which obviously I love. Love making people I love watch things I love.

Absolutely in love with this song. And this one, too.

So I got fake nails. Here they are.

Yes, I love them. Yes, they look perfect every single day and that’s amazing. But no one tells you the cons, so let me tell you what they are.

Pressing buttons is an annoyance. The buttons of debit machines especially (I’ve incorrectly put in my pin about three times so far), but also remote controls and car radio dials.

Peeling onions or garlic. Or cutting anything on a cutting board in the kitchen, basically.

You know after a shower when you towel off the wet parts of the inside of your ears? Can’t be done.

All zippers and buttons add at least five minutes to your life.

Look, I’m not an animal but sometimes your nose needs a little cleaning when a tissue ain’t gonna cut it. That being said, it is IMPOSSIBLE to pick your nose with these.

Typing at your regular speed.

Peeling clementines is simply out of the question (which is annoying because they’re so in season right now).

Putting on and taking off necklaces.

And most of all, yes you can still scratch parts of your body, but it’s an unfulfilling scratch. These nails aren’t as sharp as my real ones, so the scratch is lackluster.

That being said, I do love them. I’m not sure if I’ll get them again, but they’re beautiful and I can definitely see the appeal.

I watched a few episodes of Somebody Feed Phil with my brother Robbie and it’s a pretty cute show. I only watched the New York, New Orleans, Venice & San Francisco episodes, but I’m sure I’ll watch the rest soon. I think I liked it because the host really lets the guests be the charming, endearing ones, and most TV hosts aren’t very good at that.

So since we missed both Thanksgivings this year, we picked a random day to do our turkey dinner and this year I did the rub for the bird (Mom handled all the gross stuff) and it came out amazing! Also made my favourite salad dressing (love a shallot in a dressing), this perfect cranberry sauce and best garlic bread. And instead of a whole pie, we just got mini pumpkin tarts from Whole Foods. The next day, I finally made the moist maker sandwich (from Friends) and it turned out really well.

Best tweets of the month can be found over here.

Some things that I’m looking forward to this month: watching the new season of Big Mouth, doing the Polar Drive experience, there have been only two snowstorms so far and I can’t wait for more to come, and I’ve already started baking the chocolate chip Nutella cookies that I love to make this time of year but I want to try something new as well so I’m thinking about giving these ones a try. Christmas will of course be different this year, it’s looking like it’ll be me, my parents (since I’ve been staying here since October), Nathan & Baby Dog on Christmas morning, which actually seems like it might be kind of intimate and nice. It’ll feel wrong in certain ways because I love having my entire family here, but I’m going to try and make the most of it.

If you’ve got any interest in reading last month’s roundup, you can see what went down in October over here.

[ehstarwar]

flesh stays no farther reason (3/6)

Absent his post, their lives would have never collided. Rey had no place in his life.

And yet… he kept talking to her. Kept asking for more time. How do you tell someone that their attention is killing you while simultaneously being the only thing keeping you alive?

-

Five times Ben looks for Rey and the one time she finds him.

-

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 6.5K

Read on AO3

ur lying

I’m not, actually.

u have to be bc if ur not lying then i can never fuck u again

Okay, then I’m lying.

you don’t read any fanfic?? like ever?

Why bring yourself more pain?

um fanfic TAKES AWAY the pain

i stg the only reason i still watch Galaxy Battles is bc

the fanfic authors are so fckin good

Rey smiles at her phone for what feels like the thousandth time that day. Plutt’s already yelled at her twice about being on her phone in front of customers, but, no one is in the shop right now and Plutt went home. There’s only 10 minutes to close, so Rey keeps herself occupied with closing procedures and tries not to get too worked up about her and Ben’s conversation.

In the two days since they last saw each other, they hadn’t stopped talking. They talked all day about inane things or cute pets that she saw on her way to work or societal issues and if Ben had the technology to rig the election so the orange ball of racism would be decidedly removed from office. Not yet, he’d said, but believe me, I’m trying.  

Their latest discourse about Galaxy Battles had started when Rey admitted to creeping on his other Reddit post, including one of how the original trilogy would forever be superior to either the prequel or sequel trilogy. He was wrong of course, but somehow Rey berating his views of the evil emperors return from the grave had devolved into a discussion on Ben’s fan fic reading, or lack thereof.

imma send you some links to some works you

HAVE to read

honestly they changed the way i view

galaxy battles

but you HAVE to kudos and comment on them

after you read them

its fanfic etiquette

While that does sound fun, I can think of something

slightly more useful to do with my time.

um actually u can’t

but enlighten me anyways

See you again?

I’m off work for the next 36 hours if you’re free.

Rey stopped dead in her tracks.

Yes, her heart screamed, go to Ben!

No, her brain declared, you’ve already gone too far with him.

For someone she’d only met twice, Ben was occupying a lot of her thoughts recently. Everything Ben had done thus far in no way indicated that he was going to ghost Rey. Except, of course, the posting on reddit to find someone to fuck sans feelings. Which was hard the second time and would be damn near impossible the third.

If she met up with Ben, they would have sex. It was the very base nature of their relationship. Not that he would want it to be called a relationship at all. He would be sweet and fuck her so well, not even her wildest fantasy would hold up. He would buy her food and let her sleep in a comfy bed. Then, when their time was up, he would go work at his high paying job and schmoozing with the Coursant elite and she would go back to work at an Auto shop that was listed as a laundromat in the yellow pages.

Absent his post, their lives would have never collided. Rey had no place in his life.

And yet… he kept talking to her. Kept asking for more time. How do you tell someone that their attention is killing you while simultaneously being the only thing keeping you alive?

Don’t do it, her brain whispered again. Protect yourself from the hurt; it’s what you’re good at.

But something about Ben made it very hard for Rey to listen to reason.

sure, i’m free.

-

Ben is a foot taller than anyone else on the sidewalk. He glowers over everybody else, most people giving him a wide berth of space. He’s frowning down at his phone, typing so furiously that Rey is almost too scared to say anything.

“Ben?” She hazards, after a moment. Ben’s head instantly snaps up, and the frown dissipates. It’s replaced by a soft half-smile that makes something flutter in Rey.

“Rey,” He says, looking at her, up and down. Last time, Rey had chosen not to change when coming from work, this time she did not have that luxury. Even if the pair of overalls she was currently sporting were slightly newer than that pair, it was still a potato sack in comparison to Ben’s designer suit.

“Sorry… I, uh, didn’t expect to be doing much after work,” Rey says sheepishly. Ben looks confused, so she clarifies. “I would’ve changed, but…”

“I think you look perfect,” he simply states. She gulps. After a terse minute, Rey rolls her eyes and playfully slaps his arm, hoping to move on from this with some self-deprecation; a superpower of hers.

“Oh whatever. So, should we head to the hotel, or did you have something else in mind?” She asks.

“I’ve made the mistake of not feeding you beforehand twice now, it’s not an error I’m willing to make again. I thought we could have dinner first before.” Ben gestures to the restaurant on the other side of the street. The windows are blacked out, and the valet is wearing gloves. The hostess stand alone looks like it cost the same as a year’s worth of Rey’s rent.

“That’s a lovely idea, but… I can’t go in there.”

“Do you not like their menu? I could have the chef prepare something better, if you-”

“You really don’t see why I can’t go in there?” Rey asks, flabbergasted.

“No,” Ben simply states.

Rey has attempted, her entire life, to make as little of a scene as possible. Some may confuse this for timidness or meekness, but Rey knows better. Her ability to go though life making the least trouble possible for herself is one of the only reasons she’s been able to make it this far. It’s not shyness or second-hand embarrassment that holds her back (god knows she’s faced that enough in her life); it’s the desire to go on living life without creating trouble. Ben, it seems, does not understand that.

“Ben, regardless how you feel I look, the people in the restaurant will balk if they see someone like me, looking like this, walk into a restaurant that serves one dish that is more expensive than my apartment. I can’t go in there.”

“Why do you do that?” Ben asks, looking terse and unhappy. “First at the hotel, now here. You act like you don’t belong somewhere.”

“I don’t belong here.”

“You do. You’re here, so you belong here.”

“It’s not that simple.”

“It could be, if you wanted it to.”

Rey sighs. This isn’t a conversation she’s willing to have with him, certainly not on the sidewalk during rush hour on a Thursday, and there’s a sinking feeling in her gut that Ben will not drop this without creative thinking on Rey’s part.

She scratches the back of her neck, looking anywhere but Ben. He’s stare at her, waiting for her to respond, giving her his undivided attention. It heats her cheeks.

“You know, I actually had a restaurant I was really looking forward to eating at for dinner; why don’t we just go there instead? If you really want to eat your… fancy food stuff, I can just meet you back at the hotel.” Ben’s frown falls slightly, replaced with a  look of neutrality, and Rey represses a sigh of relief.

“I don’t care about eating there, Rey, I want to eat with you.”

“Okay, then Waffle House it is.”

-

It was comical how large Ben looked inside. The harsh, bright lighting made his hair look shinier than Rey had ever seen it, and he barely even fit in the small booth covered in yellow linoleum. When he grabs a laminated menu off the rack, Rey chuckles.

“Is it safe to assume you’ve never been to a waffle house before?” She asks, head cocked sideways. He shoots her a dirty look.

“I’m not entirely uncluttered, you know. I frequented the local waffle house plenty of times in undergrad.” Ben holds up the large plastic card in front of his face.

“If that were true, you wouldn’t need to look at the menu.” Rey pulls the menu down to the table and gives him a sweet smile. He softens at that.

“In my defense, it’s been a while,” He shrugs.

“Well, nothings changed. I’m pretty sure these were the same menus they used in the eighties.”

Ben inspects the menu carefully before putting it down. A older server comes over, giving them drinks (an orange juice for them both, Ben begrudges), and taking their order before leaving them. For the first time since she’s met Ben, the silence is uncomfortable.

“How was your day?” He asks after a moment. Rey is still looking at her chipped fingernail polish when she answers.

“Fine… long, I guess. It was my ninth day in a row,” She tells him. His gaze darkens.

“That’s criminal.”

She shrugs. “I get the next two days off so, it’s not totally unexpected. How was you day?”

“Busy. My bosses boss is visiting in a few weeks, so the office is in a state of chaos.”

“And yet you somehow stumbled upon 36 hours off?”

“An imposition from HR. I’ve accumulated enough sick leave to last a few lifetimes. When my boss got the memo, he sent me home. Told me to rest up for the weeks ahead.”

“Someone who’s accrued that much sick leave must have worked a lot more than nine days straight,” She taunts. “That’s criminal.” Ben rolls his eyes, but the corners of his mouth twitch.

Another moment of silence passes, making Rey squirm in her seat.

“I think I need to apologize, for earlier,” She says. Ben looks confused. “It was sweet of you to ask me out to dinner in your limited time off. I should’ve reacted… better.”

One of his large hands reaches the short distance across the table to grip hers. Her hands are dwarfed by his, so she stares down at them instead of looking up at him.

“I’m sorry, too. I can be… callous when it comes to others feelings. I should’ve warned you instead of thinking you’d blithely go along with my plans.” When Rey finally looks up, Ben is looking at her with the sweetest and softest expression.

Okay, her brain concedes, this is nice.

“I do have to admit,” he continues after a minute, “my intentions are not entirely virtuous.”

“I certainly hope not,” Rey grins, “because neither are mine.”

-

He brings her to a different hotel this time. Something much more modern and cool. None of the employees are wearing outfits too ostentatious, but Rey has a sneaking suspicion that the level of service is probably the same. The valet seems to be expecting them, despite Ben having made no calls during or after their meal, and hands Ben the keys to the room.

Only when they’re in the elevator, away from prying eyes, does Rey mention anything.

“Why the change of venue?” She asks.

“The views from here are better. You can see the skyline much more clearly from our floor,” Ben tells her. Rey scoffs.

“Plan on spending a ton of time looking out the window, are we?”

Ben quirks a brow down at her. His eyes turn predatory and Rey can feel her cunt throb. He slowly backs her into the wall of the elevator, pressing his front flush with hers, arms going out to cage her in.

“I think it’ll be a nice view for you when I fuck you against the window.”

Heat licks up her spine. His face is only a few centimeters away from her, but he keeps his lips to himself. He traces the side of her jaw with his nose, letting his lips skim across her skin, but never stopping.

“You told me once… that I deserved a bed…” her voice is unsteady when she uses it. Ben pulls back slightly, and brings his wrist up to check his watch.

“We still have about 34 hours left,” He replaces his hand and looks back down at Rey, “I think we can fit a few places in.”

His lips have only just brushed hers when the elevator chimes that they’re on their floor.

-

“You like this,” He whispers in the shell of her ear. “Being held up, open for any and all to see…” His cock drags inside her once again and Rey gasps. The glass is cold against her hand, and she can see her breath fogging up the window. Ben tightens his grip on her hips as he slowly pulls out of her again, making her whine.

“What was that? I didn’t quite catch that, baby.” He says, pressing a wet kiss to the top of her shoulder.

“Please, daddy…” Her hands clutch at the glass. “Faster… please,” She begs. She’s rewarded with a few quick thrusts. Her head lulls back, making him kiss at her throat.

“Good girl… asking so nicely,” He murmurs. Rey can feel a twitch of an orgasm approaching her.

“Gonna… make me… come, daddy…” She breaths. Ben snakes a hand downwards, until it finds her clit. He rubs her with soft strokes, flaming the fire within her. She tries to grind down on his hand, but Ben thrust into her harshly again keeping her where she it.

“Come on, baby…” he mumbles, “come all over me… above everyone…” His thrust move in time with the strokes on her clit, and the air in her lungs is sucked out as she tumbles into an orgasm. She’s boneless as he works her through it, still stroking her and pounding into her. She can feel the control slipping from his hands, the movements becoming erratic.

Rey can feel his muscles straining against her over-heated skin. Their bodies are sweaty, only adding to the sound of wet skin slapping against each other. It feels like she’s floating when coming down from her high. Ben grips her tighter as he begins to come, putting fresh bruises in her skin with his fingertips.

His mouth finds the back of her neck, and she can feel his teeth clenched as he comes. He grunts into her skin as his cock twitches within her; she can already feel the warmth of his come seeping downwards. Ben holds her hips flush with his as he continues to pump her full of him. He puts one hand on the font of her lower abdomen, and instinctively, she places her hand over his.

“I can feel myself… like this,” he says, mouth still against her neck. “I can feel myself inside of you… fuck…” he whispers. She strokes the back of his hand with her thumb as Ben regains his breath; trying to comfort him for reasons she didn’t understand.

His breath is hot against her neck, but she loves it. Love the feeling of him alive and hot against her. It fills her with a fuzzy feeling she’s unused to.

-

“Do you think that’s enough?” He asks, dryly. Rey ignored his comment and continued filling the ridiculously large tub with even more bubbles. The bottom of the tub is hard beneath her knees as she waddles her way over to the faucet, pouring the remaining soap underneath, filling the air with lavender.

Ben sits on the other side, arms stretched out of the tub, one knee just above the surface of the bubbles. Even though his comment was sarcastic, the expression on his face is soft. It makes Rey want to melt.

When she finishes adding every soap that was on the counter to the boiling hot water, she scoots herself in between his open legs. Her back leans onto his chest, head cradled on his shoulder, while his arms come down to wrap around her midsection, hands resting on her thighs.

“I don’t get to take baths like this. I think it’s only fair I add whatever soap I want to,” She says, once she’s comfortable. Ben only hums in response. He traces his nose on her wet hairline, lips brushing her skin every so often. If the plastic of the tub weren’t so hard on her ass, Rey would’ve fallen asleep.

After their tryst on the window, Ben had ushered her into the bathroom to clean her up. Ben notices as soon a her eyes landed on the tub that took up a solid quarter of the room, and silently obliged to bathe with her.

Ben’s hands begin massaging her thighs, so she does the same. Her hands seek him out, and land on the thick, corded, muscular tops of his thighs, hands tickled by the sparse hair there.

“Mmmm…” She mumbles, while feeling him up, “I want to ride your thighs later.” She feels him smile against her skin.

“Okay,” He says, voice low. She feels it rumble from his chest and sinks further into him. She can feel his cock, already half-hard again, against the small of her back, but Ben does nothing to indicate that he wants to move any time soon, so she ignores it.

His hands come up to caress her torso, fingers brushing just on the underside of her breast as they work in a rhythmic pattern. Her skin feels hyper-sensitive everywhere he’s touching her; against her back, his hands on her torso, his legs against hers. She wonders, idly, if he’s as unused to this kind of intimacy as she is. It’s not a secret that the two of them need to physically feel each other whenever they’re together. Rey is curious if this is one of the few ways he experiences intimacy, as it is for her.

“Ben?” She asks. He hmm’s against her, nose still tracing the side of her face. “You don’t… do this… with other people, do you? I don’t think you do, but… I’m curious.”

To his credit, Ben doesn’t really falter in his movements. There is a slight pause as soon as the words escape out of her mouth, but he resumes so quickly, Rey isn’t even sure the hesitation happened.

“Would you be jealous if I said yes?” He asks.

Her entire body stiffens. The water, hot against her skin, suddenly feels like ice.

“I don’t,” Ben says quickly, clearly attuned to the change in her demeanor. She relaxes again, but keeps slightly on edge.

“Why not?” She prods further, “It’s not like there’s anything holding you back.”

She feels him sigh beside her. His hands suddenly wrap around her hips, twisting her until she’s facing him and seated in his lap. The steam from the bath has formed sweat all over his skin, so he’s practically glowing in the yellow light. He looks like a greek god; full of imperfections that suit him perfectly. Her mouth goes dry at the sight.

“Do you want me to have… this, with anyone else?” He questions. Rey has to bite her lip from screaming absolutely fucking not!

“Does it matter what I think?” She counters. His eyes narrow at her.

“It does to me.”

Rey softens. Her hands come up to trace the features of his face, down to the hard planes of his chest that peak above the water.

“We’re treading in dangerous water, Ben,” She says before looking up at him. He smirks lightly.

“I think there’s a little too much soap in here, but I hardly think that makes it unsafe,” He jokes, playfully looking around the tub. She splashes him with soapy water, giggling in his lap. He holds her tighter, then bringer her closers to him to kiss her.

Kissing him is many things at one; it’s hot and sweet, promising yet daunting, full of emotion that words can’t convey, but above all, it feels so, so good. The kind of goodness that Rey has searched for in every person and yet to find. It’s terrifying, but she does it anyway.

They make out for a while, hands roaming over pruny bodies, until he’s fully hard again and Rey is wet enough to sink right onto him. They both loose their breath at the sensation, lips still touching but not quite kissing. After a minute, she begins to move, working herself up and down onto him in an unhurried pace. It makes the stretch of him even more pronounced and hot.

His hands guid her hips, and she complies, moving in any direction he so chooses. They only break from each others mouth to kiss at different part of skin; both going for the neck. She leave bites and bruises and he does the same. I hope they’re purple and huge, she thinks; I hope they last forever.

After a while, he whines into her mouth, needy and desperate.

“There is nothing… like coming in you… take me so well… such a good girl…”

She grind down harder on him, liking this desperate, pleading thing hie’s become.

“Wanna make you… full of me… mark you with… my come… would you let me? Let me- fuck- let me fill you… over and over… until you’re mine? Would you?”

She nods against him, telling him “Yes… yes… I’m yours.”

-

“I have tomorrow off, too. I don’t know if I mentioned that,” She tells him once they’re dry and in bed. She didn’t exactly plan for this, so she has no clothes of her own to change into, but Ben seems more than happy to let her snag his white undershirt from earlier. With no panties, of course.

“You did,” he mumbles against her stomach. She’s lying on her back with Ben’s head on her stomach, kissing her skin through the fabric. Rey had one hand brushing though his silky hair, the other holding her phone up as she text Rose.

hey, I won’t be home tonight, Ben called me again

i don’t think i’ll be home tomorrow either, but i’ll

keep u posted

…

are u sure its healthy to be spending this much

time with him?

wasn’t it supposed to be a one night stand?

yeah but the sex is good so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

why don’t u invite Finn over since u have

the place to urself??

don’t try and divert. I’m worried about u

I don’t want u to get hurt, regardless if

the dick too bomb

Rey doesn’t respond. She doesn’t know how to. She wants to accuse Rose of having a secret mic into Rey’s inner most thought and using them against her, but even she knows that’s crazy. Instead, she puts her phone down and luxuriates in the weighted blanket that is Ben.

They’ve been asleep for hours, but it’s still dark out. Rey is secretly thankful for the stormy weather outside, like it gives her an excuse to stay in this bubble with Ben. He’s still snoring softly, head buried between her shoulder and neck. She thinks of their second conversation when he told her he lean’s towards domination. Defiantly a switch, she thinks. Ben has wrapped himself around her, practically suffocating her with his embrace.

Rey loves it.

-

His face is buried in her cunt. So much so that she’s worried he’ll never resurface. He licks with sure, hard strokes, noes rubbing at her clit. It’s a cataclysmic rush of sensations that has her mewling and writing above him. She can see from the corner of her eye, him bucking his hips into the mattress beneath them. And she’s fucking jealous of it. A mattress.

“Ben…” She whines, high pitched and needy, no real message to convey, just liking the way his name feels rolling off her tongue. He grunts against her and sucks her clit.

Her hands tug his hair, trying not to be too rough, but knowing that he liked to be pushed a bit. His teeth graze her labia as a warning, but she pays it no mind. Rey tries to wedge a leg under him, so that she can feel the hardness between his legs and maybe even give him some relief. Ben obliges, using a hand to guide her leg under him, so that his cock brushes against the back side of her calf when he thrusts.

The threat of orgasm is imminent, marching towards her quickly and not giving her time to even breath. Her fingers find the shell of his ear, and Rey remembers how endearing she found it when they got red after sex. Her thumb caress his ears, hands covering them.

Ben looses his mind.

His bucking becomes more wild and his tongue more sure. Rey is stung into her orgasm when his teeth gently nip at her clit, either purposefully or not, and she can feel the hot come from Ben coat her leg.

It’s an overwhelming rush of sensations.

His come spurting out onto her skin and the sheets, his face now sopping with her juices, one of his hands holding her stomach down, the other holding her leg so that he can empty himself on her.

He’s gasping against her as his body shudders. She feels the last few gentle twitches of his cock against her calf before he stops moving and basically melts on top of her.

“Sorry… it was- my ears are- it was so good…” he says, still breathless. Rey makes an experimental stroke of her thumb along the shell of his ear once more, causing Ben to whine but not asking her to stop. She wonders how quickly he could come again, maybe just like this, but decides to save that hypothesis for a later date.

Instead, she holds him as he weakly climbs up to be closer to her.

-

Rey groans when she rolls over to an empty bed. Her stomach drops and suddenly her whole body is alert, immediately shaking off any remnant of sleep. She sits up quickly, panic running down her spine, mouth already open and dry with fear.

Thankfully, she spots Ben right away.

He’s sitting at the desk, typing on a computer, face illuminated only by the light from the screen. He looks so focused and Rey hesitates for a moment, considering weather or not to disturb him from his work. Screw it, she thinks, I only have him for a few more hours; his work can wait.

She gets up on unsteady legs, taking a moment to peak from behind the blinds. It look early out, even in the grey pouring rain. She slowly makes her way over to Ben, who still hasn’t noticed that she’s awake. She shuffles her feet, trying to make more noise as not to scare him before placing her hand on his shoulder.

Ben’s back straightens, and he looks up to Rey, who is pulling his rolling chair back and climbing into his lap with no resistance from him. He’s naked still, she notes, and so is she. She straddles his lap and brings her hands to his biceps. His mouth seeks hers out instantly, pressing wet kisses against her lips.

“Why are you… not… in bed?” She questions between kisses, trying to to sound too petulant. Judging by his chuckle, she’s clearly failed.

“I had some work to wrap up,” He tells her, hands now roaming her bare back. She glances at the clock, flashing a bright 6:43.

“You still have… 24 hours of… your weekend left… no work,” She says, sighing into his mouth. He pulls back, and her mouth instinctively goes to chase it, but stops when she sees him slightly smiling at her.

“You were asleep; I figured I could multitask. After all, you’ll need your strength for everything I have planned for today,” Ben tells her, voice going low. Rey surpasses a shiver.

“Plans?” She questions. He nods. “Care to enlighten me on these plans?”

“Well, you mentioned something about riding my thigh earlier, and I figured if you’re going to ride that, my face might feel left out so we should add that to the list,” Ben says, making Rey chuckle. “Then my cock might feel neglected also, so you should probably ride that at some point too. And I did have a dream about what my come might look like on your tits, so, I think today would be a good day to find out.”

Rey throws her head back laughing and Ben adjusts his hold on her, squeezing her tighter to him.

“So, as you can see, you’ll need your strength if we’re going to get through all of that today, Ms. Niima,” He taunts. Rey brushes some hair behind his ears, fingers purposefully ghosting them and making him shudder.

“That sounds like an excellent plan, Mr. Solo. What should we start with first?” She questions, already feeling his cock twitch where it rests between the two of them.

“Anything you want, Ms. Niima; I’m yours for the taking.”

Rey considers him for a moment, even though she’s already made up her mind. She squirms in his lap before settling her self firmly on one of his tree-trunk legs and begins grinding down. Her cunt is still puffy and slightly sore from all their… activities, but the feeling of his muscles beneath her is too delicious to pass up. She grinds her self until she is slick and wet against him. Ben drops his head to her shoulder, breathing deeply. She thinks of how much his words affect her when he’s the one talking, so she decides to give it a try.

“One of the first things I noticed about you… was your thighs,” She starts. “They’re so fucking strong, even in your pants. I didn’t know how to ask for it, that first night. But I couldn’t get it out of my head.”

Ben’s hands go to grope her ass, squeezing, as he breaths heavily against her sternum. His thigh is covered in her now, and she moves with a sicking wet sound that fills the room.

“I tried everything, after that. I humped pillows, tried to get off on the edge of my bed, even considered buying a sex doll just to recreate what your thigh would feel like,” She admits, voice becoming breathless as her movements pick up. Ben’s cock is red and twitching now, leaving a drop of precome on his stomach where it bumps against. Rey works faster now, fingers digging into the meat of his shoulder, no doubt leaving red slits in their wake.

“I thought about messaging you every night, trying to come up with some eloquent way to beg you to ride your thigh into oblivion. Even if it’s all you would give me; I wanted you dripping in my come like I’m covered in yours.”

“Rey,” he warns. She can feel herself approaching orgasm, so she readjust her hips to get her clit to hit his skin with every stroke. She gasps and feels Ben’s teeth on her neck.

“Want you… to wear my come… all day… soak it into your skin…so it stays,” She moans out, finding it harder to speak the closer she gets.

“Yes… yes, please…” Rey hears him beg. She can feel his cock so hard against her, but he’s brought no relief to himself in the form of his hand. She resist the urge to grab him and jerk him off, deciding it’ll be much more satisfying to see him come without her even touching it.

She moves quicker now, searching for that peak, and finds it so fast it scares her. Her orgasm wreaks through her body, sizzling down her spine and making her cunt clench and drip onto his thigh. Her hand goes to grip it, holding Ben’s thigh someone even closer between her, and letting her juices flow onto him. Ben comes too, with a cry into her skin. His cock twitches desperately as the white fluid spurts out of him, coming up to coat her abdomen. A rouge stripe of come lands on his shoulder where it’s bent to lean down onto her, and she licks it up without hesitation.

They sit together, not moving for a moment, catching their breath. Ben breaths heavily onto her skin as she licks up the sweat beads that have formed on the side of his throat. She whispers sweet endearment of good boy and thank you for coming for me. She uses a hand to trace up his spine to the back of his head, feeling Ben become putty in her embrace.

It’s a power trip unlike anything she’s experienced before.

Rey doesn’t tell him then, but she knows beyond a shadow of a doubt, that they will be doing that again.

-

“Tell me what your childhood was like.”

She doesn’t know why she asks him. They had been silent for a while, but the conversation preceding the question had nothing to do with that topic. But still, the words bubble and spill out of her without a chance for Rey to begin them in.

She’s lying on top of Ben, listening to the soft thudding of his heartbeat, while some old Galaxy Battles that just happened to be on TV is playing. His hands a tracing her spine, occasionally dipping lower to kneed at her ass. His hands have stoped, midway down her back, but resume quickly.

“It was… loud,” He says, prompting Rey to push herself up to stare at him. “My mother is… popular, you could say. There was always something going on at our house. Meetings that turned into dinners that turned into parties that turned into more meetings. There was always so many people around that I didn’t know. But my father…” Ben trails off for a moment. “He didn’t like it either. So he’d leave for weeks at a time. Sometimes I think my mother didn’t even notice. God knows she didn’t notice me.” Something bitter traces his voice so Rey hums against his skin. “I was… not considered much, when I was with them. An extra bag they needed to pack whenever they went away.

Rey nuzzles her face into his chest, wanting to skin within his skin and give his heart a hug.

“I left home when I was 18 and didn’t speak to either of my parents for 10 years. The only reason I even started speaking with my mother again is because…” Ben takes a moment, and Rey lets him. “My father died.”

Rey doesn’t breath, unwilling to even move slightly and disturb whatever trace Ben seemed to be in.

“I was the first person my mother called to tell. That had never happened before. It was… strange.” She feels Ben shift beneath her, but his eyes still remain closed. “Our relationship is still awful, but we talk more now. Mostly her berating me for my career choices or asking for grandchildren, but… it’s talking.”

Rey hugs him. Squeezes him so tightly she’s worried he’ll bruise, but Ben doesn’t seem to mind.

“I’m an orphan,” She offers, after a moment. “My parents dropped me off at a fire station when I was two. Or… they think I was two. All they left was a piece of paper that said ‘Rey.’ Supposedly the state searched for my parents for a while, trying to track them down, but I’m not really sure that’s true. I was sent to Jakku when I was five and I grew up in a junkyard there. That’s why I’m a mechanic. I learned how to spot parts that were salvageable since I was a pre-teen. It’s the only thing I was ever good at.”

Her quiet admission hangs heavy in the air.

Slowly, she feel’s Ben roll them over so that he’s above her and her back is on the bed. His eyes are sad when they look down at her, and suddenly Rey realizes her eyes have tears in them too. Ben kisses away her tears, lips soft against her skin.

“You’re good at so much, Rey. More than even I know. So, so good. Don’t ever say that again, please.”

Ben’s plea pierces her heart with such a sharp precision, it feels like she’s been shot.

All at once, every fear that Rey had before meeting Ben comes rushing back. The feeling both of them were trying to avoid, crash around her like an avalanche, and Rey is stuck in the cold, hard ice. Somehow Rey knows that this was meant to happen. That she was meant to be on that Reddit page and refresh just in time to see his post and meet him in that fancy bar and fuck him in that gaudy room and do everything they’ve done together.

Ben kisses her as she realizes that there will be no soft break from this. That wherever this ends will hurt. It’ll break her even. But, even scarier than that, Rey is more than willing to let Ben do that.

-

“Don’t leave.”

It’s morning. Almost 7. The sun is just starting to peak behind the curtains. The bed is warm where they’ve laid and fucked and made love and held each other all night. The sound of a cart being placed outside of their door is the only besides the fan and their breathing. His hair tickles her face. His arms have wrapped around her so tightly she’s not sure she’ll ever break from his embrace.

“Don’t leave,” She whispers again.

He’s still snoring. He can’t hear her. She says it again anyway.

“Don’t leave me.”

-

The bacon is still hot by when Ben pulls the breakfast cart in. It’s full of wonderful looking food that Rey would gladly devour on any other day. But she can only bring herself to nibble at the fatty bacon that drips grease down her hand.

Ben is all but ready to go, his suit jacket hanging on the other side of his chair and shoes still waiting by the door. He’s go Rey in his lap and hands digging into the cup of greek yoghurt. He hasn’t stopped touching her since they’ve woken up. They showed together, he ate her out, she brought him off with her hand, they had to re-shower, and now they were enjoying a quiet breakfast. Her hair was still wet and dripping into his discarded bathrobe. She refused to wear her own, and Ben had happy obliged when she asked to put his on after he took it off.

He kisses her neck sometimes and she tries to take inconspicuous sniffs of his hair.

It’s nice outside, if a bit hot. Ben has to be at work in an hour. Rey still has today off. He’s got a busy few weeks ahead. She’s got the same monotonous tasks ahead of her for the foreseeable future. He offered to extend the room reservation so that she could keep it tonight. She declined. He extended it anyways.

She’s met him three times. They’ve talked about some of the deepest trauma any person can go through. They’ve argued about fan fiction. Ben is incredibly wealthy. Rey can’t afford her water bill this month.

Ben leaves her with multiple incessant kisses, each sweeter than the last. He tells her he’ll call, but maybe not for a while. He makes her promise to call if she needs anything at all. He kisses her again for good measure. Then her shoulder her forearms and her hands. Rey doesn’t cry until the door is closed.

She’s falling in love with him. (If she isn’t already.)

It fucking hurts.

-

come say hi on twitter!

[sky-on-blog]

1. What’s the last thing you ate? Ice cream, I think, last night.

2. What’s your favourite cheese? Pepper jack.

3. What’s your favourite fish? Salmon.

4. What’s your favourite fruit? Pineapple, even though it hurts my mouth to eat it raw.

5. When, if ever, did you start liking olives? I’m pretty sure I’ve always liked olives -- at least, the black ones. I used to take them from salad bars and eat them by themselves when I was little. Green olives are okay. I dislike Kalamata olives, though.

6. When, if ever, did you start liking beer? Probably like, after I turned 21. I disliked it for a long time until I tried things other than my mother’s Coors Light.

7. When, if ever, did you start liking shellfish? I’m pretty sure I’ve always liked shellfish, too. I don’t understand how people can not like crabs?

8. What was the best thing your mom/dad/guardian used to make? Uh. Nothing, really. My parents are pretty terrible cooks. Do cookies count? Because I can make those, too.

9. What’s the native specialty of your hometown? I don’t know. Scrapple? Delaware doesn’t have a lot of “native specialties.” Apparently muskrat is a thing that people eat there, even though I lived there until I was 24 and never once encountered it (thankfully).

10. What’s your comfort food? Goldfish, or peanut butter Captain Crunch. Also peanut butter M&Ms. And Reese’s.

11. What’s your favourite type of chocolate? Milk. 12. How do you like your steak? Medium rare. I thought I didn’t like steak for basically my entire life because I only ever had it more well done.

13. How do you like your burger? Medium, I guess? I’ve never really compared.

14. How do you like your eggs? Over easy, and preferably atop hash browns.

15. How do you like your potatoes? Fried and crispy. Mashed potatoes are good, too, though.

16. How do you take your coffee? With flavored creamer, or cream and sugar if it’s just regular cream.

17. How do you take your tea? Depends on the kind of tea. I like iced green tea, but only if it isn’t bitter -- so like, not from a teabag. And hot tea is okay, but I mostly just drink that to help with my throat or to relax; I don’t really love the taste, or anything. When I do drink it, though, I just drink it plain -- with the exception of some honey if I feel really bad, but again, that’s less for the taste and more for the effects. 

18. What’s your favourite mug? A fox-shaped one that I got as a gift.

19. What’s your biscuit or cookie of choice? Peanut butter chocolate chip.

20. What’s your ideal breakfast? Uhh. Depends on my mood, I guess. But there’s a place in Haines City that has these apple cinnamon waffles that are pretty amazing. 

21. What’s your ideal sandwich? Those Italian, oven-baked sandwiches from Domino’s. They are amazing. Turkey clubs are great, too.

22. What’s your ideal pizza: Light sauce with pineapple and jalapeno. Red Baron’s frozen Mexican pizza is awesome, as well.

23. What’s your ideal pie (sweet or savoury)? Pumpkin -- sweet. I wholly prefer sweet pie to savory.

24. What’s your ideal salad? The one you get at Olive Garden. That’s the only salad I can actually get excited about. Oh, or black bean and corn salad, oh my god. 

25. What food do you always like to have in the fridge? Something easily accessible. It’s not a “food,” but I always like to have soda. And onions, preferably red.

26. What food do you always like to have in the freezer? Again, something easy to make. Oh, and burgers.

27. What food do you always like to have in the cupboard? Goldfish, cereal, candy, coffee.

28. What spices can you not live without? Salt is the only one I could probably actually not go without, but cilantro and cayenne are pretty excellent, too.

29. What sauces can you not live without? Eh. I can live without most sauce -- I prefer things to be more dry. Does salsa count as sauce? I tend to miss that when I don’t have it. 

30. Where do you buy most of your food? Walmart. It’s right across the street, and it’s cheap. But we also go to Publix pretty often, too. 

31. How often do you go food shopping? Usually about once a week, but it depends on when Jeremy’s and my schedules line up and when we start to run out of food.

33. What’s the most expensive piece of kitchen equipment you own? ...I’m drawing a blank. Jeremy’s dad got us a frappuccino maker that we’ve never used in the pantry. Oh, there’s a Keurig in the closet, but it doesn’t work. Does that count? I mean, we have a microwave and an oven, but we don’t own those. Maybe the toaster oven?

34. What’s the last piece of equipment you bought for your kitchen? A coffee maker, when the Keurig stopped working.

35. What piece of kitchen equipment could you not live without? The microwave, without a doubt.

36. How many times a week/month do you cook from raw ingredients? Me personally, never. Jeremy, for both of us to eat...probably a few times a month.

37. What’s the last thing you cooked from raw ingredients? Chicken enchilada casserole. It wasn’t very good, which is why I don’t cook.

38. What meats have you eaten besides cow, pig and poultry? Lamb and deer are the only two I can think of. They have a lot of alligator down here in Florida, though, and I’ve been meaning to try that. Oh, I tried frog once, and it was awful -- but granted, it was at a pretty awful restaurant.

39. What’s the last time you ate something that had fallen on the floor? Yesterday, a walnut fell onto the kitchen counter and I still put it in my ice cream. I probably ate something off the floor yesterday, too. It happens.

40. What’s the last time you ate something you’d picked in the wild? Years and years ago, when my friends and I went cherry-picking.

41. Arrange the following in order of preference: Italian, Mexican, Chinese, Indian, Thai, Sushi – Sushi, Mexican, Thai, Chinese, Italian, Indian. Although, I’ve only ever had Indian food once, and nothing there was very good except the naan. So maybe that place just wasn’t very good.

42. Arrange the following in order of preference: Vodka, Whiskey, Brandy, Rum – I haven’t had brandy in a while and I don’t really remember what it tastes like, so I’m going to leave that out of the equation. But probably rum, whiskey, vodka, although I like all three pretty well.

43. Arrange the following in order of preference: Garlic, Basil, Caramel, Lime, Mint, Ginger, Aniseed – I’ve never had aniseed. But otherwise -- lime, garlic, ginger, mint (as long as it’s in dessert), basil, caramel. If the mint is in something savory, then it goes at the very bottom; I really hate mint in savory things.

44. Arrange the following in order of preference: Pineapple, Orange, Apple, Strawberry, Cherry, Watermelon, Banana. – Pineapple, orange, strawberry, apple, banana, cherry, watermelon.

45. Bread and spread: What? Like, my favorites? I like pumpernickel bread, and...I don’t know. Mayonnaise? That chili spread -- the famous one with the rooster -- is pretty good, too.

46. What’s your fast food restaurant of choice, and what do you usually order? Probably Popeye’s -- spicy chicken, usually tenders, with red beans and rice. 

47. Pick a city. What are the best dining experiences you’ve had in that city? Uh. Newark, in Delaware, has this pretty great Japanese buffet.

48. What’s your choice of tipple at the end of a long day? What’s a tipple?

49. What’s the next thing you’ll eat? I’m not sure. I might eat some cereal or Goldfish or something before work.

50. Are you hungry now? Sort of, but I don’t know what I want.

51. Do you eat your breakfast everyday? No. I’m never hungry when I wake up; I have to force myself to eat, like, a granola bar when I go to work. 

52. At what time do you have breakfast? Whenever I get up and feel like it. 

53. At what time do you have lunch? Whenever they give it to me at work, or just...whenever Jeremy and I get hungry.

54. What do you have for lunch? Different stuff. Usually burgers, hot dogs, fries -- something easy.

55. At what time do you have dinner? When I get home from work, so usually around 9:30-10.

56. What do you have for dinner? Again, different stuff.

57. Do you light candles during dinner? No.

58. How many chairs are there in your dining room and who sits in the main chair? There isn’t a dining room in our apartment, but there’s a table in the corner with four chairs. There isn’t a “main” chair; they’re all the same.

59. Do you eat and drink using your right hand or the left one? Right, usually.

61. Mention the veggies that you like most: Pickles, onions, jalapenos, tomatoes. 

62. What fruit and vegetable do you like the least? Cantaloupe is my absolute least favorite fruit -- I can’t stand the taste. And my least favorite vegetable...probably Brussels sprouts.

63. You like your fruit salad to have more: Uhh. I haven’t had fruit salad in a long time. I guess strawberries?

64. You prefer your vegetable salad to contain more: Tomatoes.

65. What’s your favourite sandwich spread? Oh, I answered this earlier -- mayo or that chili spread. Admittedly, though, I haven’t had very many sandwich spreads.

66. What’s your favourite chocolate bar? Crunch. 

67. What’s your favourite dessert? Peanut butter brownie sundaes.

68. What’s your favourite drink? I don’t know. I’ve been in a weird drink place lately where I don’t know what I want. Margaritas are pretty great, though.

69. What’s your favourite snack? Goldfish.

70. What’s your favourite bubble gum flavour? Just like, wintergreen, probably, or spearmint. I like lemony ones, too. They used to have a strawberry lemonade one that was really good -- I don’t know if it still exists. But I’m not a big fan of gum, and my teeth have like, no enamel, so I never chew it. Oh, I used to like Juicy Fruit a lot when I was little.

71. What’s your favourite ice cream flavour? Green tea. I can only ever find it from Haagen-Dazs at some Publix. Oh, and brown sugar. Baskin Robbins has one that has brown sugar in it and it’s fucking incredible, but I’m pretty sure it’s seasonal. 

72. What’s your favourite potato chip flavour? Sour cream and onion, or just regular.

73. What’s your favourite soup? Chicken tortilla.

74. What’s your favourite pizza? Jalapeno and pineapple. 

75. What’s your favourite type of dish? Sushi, or Mexican.

76. What food do you hate? Cantaloupe. Peas. Brussels sprouts. Oatmeal. Applesauce. Anything mushy like that. Oh, and oysters/clams. And frog.

77. What’s your favourite restaurant? Hibachi.

78. Do you eat homemade food, food delivered from outside? I eat both, but I prefer food that’s not homemade, usually.

80. Who cooks at home? Jeremy.

81. What kind of diet (e.g. low-fat, high-fiber, high-carbohydrate, balanced diet etc.) do you have? Uh. A really unhealthy, salty, fattening one.

82. How do you keep yourself fit? I don’t.

[suckitsurveys]

1. What’s the last thing you ate? Overnight oats with peanut butter and banana.

2. What’s your favourite cheese? Goat and cheddar.

3. What’s your favourite fish? Catfish, if crab doesn’t count as a fish.

4. What’s your favourite fruit? Pomegranates, watermelon, pineapple, bananas.

5. When, if ever, did you start liking olives? I don’t remember? I never liked the Kalamamamamama olives they have in greek salads, but I love black olives and green olives with pimento. That was always on my dad’s go-to tray of appetizers when we’d have Christmas at our house. 3 kinds of olives, some cheese, and salami or whatever. I always ate the green and black olives from there. I also like green olives stuffed with other things too, like bleu cheese or garlic.

6. When, if ever, did you start liking beer? I only like some beers really. I think I’ve been conditioned to like it at baseball games because my dad does, haha.

7. When, if ever, did you start liking shellfish? My whole life dude. When my parents would go out to dinner with us when we were little, they always just gave us stuff from there plates to eat. So if someone had lobster or crab legs or shrimp I would too.

8. What was the best thing your mom/dad/guardian used to make? My dad makes KILLER bleu cheese dressing. I could eat that shit with a spoon it’s SO GOOD. He also makes amazing spaghetti sauce and is pretty good at getting popcorn perfect everytime. My mom used to make really good beef stew, and her famous potatoes and eggs fr dinner. She also made the BEST potato salad, and that recipe has been handed down to me. Everyone claims it’s amazing, but I still think she made it better.

9. What’s the native specialty of your hometown? Deep dish pizza, hot dogs, beef sandwiches, caramel and cheese popcorn.

10. What’s your comfort food? Everything.

11. What’s your favourite type of chocolate? Milk chocolate. With caramel. 12. How do you like your steak? Medium rare.

13. How do you like your burger? Medium rare.

14. How do you like your eggs? In omelet form.

15. How do you like your potatoes? I ain’t got no type.

16. How do you take your coffee? I don‘t, really.

17. How do you take your tea? Green.

18. What’s your favourite mug? The one I use most often is just a plain red one that I got from Home Goods because it came with a tea infuser.

19. What’s your biscuit or cookie of choice? Sugar cookies. My favorite ones are actually those Pillsbury pre-made-dough ones you break off and bake. I also love Oreos.

20. What’s your ideal breakfast? Lox and bagels.

21. What’s your ideal sandwich? ^. Or tuna on any bread.

22. What’s your ideal pizza: Very saucy, lightly cheesy, with pepperoni and black olives.

23. What’s your ideal pie (sweet or savoury)? Cheesecake. <– Same, and it’s been waaaay too long since I last had a good piece of cheesecake. <----CHEESECAKE IS NOT PIE YOU HEATHENS, IT’S CAKE. Anyway, pumpkin pie has been my go to since I was a baby.

24. What’s your ideal salad? I don’t really have an “ideal” salad, but I like spinach salads with various toppings.

25. What food do you always like to have in the fridge? Hmm. Eggs, soy milk, condiments and marinades, sriracha, pickles, olives, cheese, water.

26. What food do you always like to have in the freezer? Ice. :P And frozen dinners for Mark. We don’t buy a ton of frozen stuff.

27. What food do you always like to have in the cupboard? Oatmeal, Ramen and other soups, pasta, rice, flour, breadcrumbs, olive oil and other oils, tea.

28. What spices can you not live without? Celery salt, red pepper, and cilantro. And of course salt and pepper.

29. What sauces can you not live without? Sriracha.

30. Where do you buy most of your food? Jewel-Osco. We might start shopping at Aldi for boxed and bagged goods. I don’t trust meat and produce from there though.

31. How often do you go food shopping? Twice a week. Once on Sunday to get lunch things and snacks for the week and dinners for that night, Monday, and Tuesday, and then Wednesday just for dinner things for that night, Thursday, Friday, and Saturday.

33. What’s the most expensive piece of kitchen equipment you own? I mean, probably the fridge or stove? We don’t really own those though? Sooooo the food processor?

34. What’s the last piece of equipment you bought for your kitchen? It’s been a while since we’ve actuall bought something for the kitchen. A lot of our stuff is hand-me-downs or wedding gifts. So probably something from when we first moved in and needed basic things like plates and silverware.

35. What piece of kitchen equipment could you not live without? Probably most of them? Like we need the fridge and stove for obvious reasons, so I guess next to that, the microwave?

36. How many times a week/month do you cook from raw ingredients? We try to almost every night.

37. What’s the last thing you cooked from raw ingredients? Chicken and spinach last night, unless overnight oats count, which I made shortly after that to eat this morning.

38. What meats have you eaten besides cow, pig and poultry? I’ve had lamb, duck, goat, alligator, buffalo, and ostrich. Well I guess duck and ostrich are poultry?? Oh and a shit ton of seafood too since that wasn’t listed in the question. Way too much to name.

39. What’s the last time you ate something that had fallen on the floor? Yesterday. I ate a chip that fell in sand oops. Haha.

40. What’s the last time you ate something you’d picked in the wild? Uh, I mean, we have a veggie and herb garden in our yard. I packed some cucumbers and tomatoes from there for lunch today.

41. Arrange the following in order of preference: Italian, Mexican, Chinese, Indian, Thai, Sushi – Sushi, Thai, and Mexican are tied for first. Then Italian, Indian, Chinese.

42. Arrange the following in order of preference: Vodka, Whiskey, Brandy, Rum – Rum, Vodka, Whiskey, Brandy.

43. Arrange the following in order of preference: Garlic, Basil, Caramel, Lime, Mint, Ginger, Aniseed – I have no idea what aniseed is, but the rest are all tied.

44. Arrange the following in order of preference: Pineapple, Orange, Apple, Strawberry, Cherry, Watermelon, Banana. – Watermelon, pineapple, banana, strawberry, orange, apple, cherry.

45. Bread and spread: Um. My favorite bread is garlic bread, if that’s what you’re asking.

46. What’s your fast food restaurant of choice, and what do you usually order? Popeye’s. I get chicken strips and Cajun fries. If they are having some promotional thing with the strips I’ll probably get that.

47. Pick a city. What are the best dining experiences you’ve had in that city? Any city and any restaurant that has crab legs is a good dinning experience in my mind.

48. What’s your choice of tipple at the end of a long day? What the hell is a tipple?

49. What’s the next thing you’ll eat? Lunch. I made tuna and have cucumbers and tomatoes to eat with it. I brought bread too but I probably wont end up eating that.

50. Are you hungry now? I’m a little hungry.

51. Do you eat your breakfast everyday? Yes. I have oatmeal or cereal every day.

52. At what time do you have breakfast? When I work, it’s sometime after 7am. On weekends, it’s whenever I get up.

53. At what time do you have lunch? 11:30am on weekdays, whenever on weekened.

54. What do you have for lunch? I mentioned this above.

55. At what time do you have dinner? around 7.

56. What do you have for dinner? Obviously different things every night? Tonight’s dinner is up in the air because my cousin is coming in from Hawaii and we are staying with my dad so my he will most likely order takeout.

57. Do you light candles during dinner? No.

58. How many chairs are there in your dining room and who sits in the main chair? We don’t have a dining room in our apartment. We have a kick ass coffee table that pulls up to dining-table height and we eat on the couch at that.

59. Do you eat and drink using your right hand or the left one? I eat with my right and I don’t have a hand preference with my drinks.

61. Mention the veggies that you like most: Spinach, asparagus, zucchini, butternut squash.

62. What fruit and vegetable do you like the least? Apparently fennel is a vegetable, so that. And water chestnuts if that’s a veggie too. My least favorite fruit is blackberries and raspberries.

63. You like your fruit salad to have more: Watermelon.

64. You prefer your vegetable salad to contain more: Uh. Cucumbers, I guess? Is a vegetable salad just raw veggies thrown together?

65. What’s your favourite sandwich spread? Peanut butter, I guess?

66. What’s your favourite chocolate bar? Butterfingers.

67. What’s your favourite dessert? Brownies or cheesecake.

68. What’s your favourite drink? Root beer. Preferably Barq’s.

69. What’s your favourite snack? Chips and guac or salsa, popcorn, Goldfish crackers, Cheez-its, Chex mix.

70. What’s your favourite bubble gum flavour? WATERMELON BUBBLICIOUS. I haven’t had that in a hot minute.

71. What’s your favourite ice cream flavour? Salted Caramel Butter Pecan. Only one brand makes it. I haven’t seen it in a while though.

72. What’s your favourite potato chip flavour? Sour cream and cheddar.

73. What’s your favourite soup? Potato. Egg lemon. Lobster bisque.

74. What’s your favourite pizza? Deep dish from Lou’s, thin crust from Marie’s, and 8-corner pan pizza from Jet’s.

75. What’s your favourite type of dish? Seafood dishes.

76. What food do you hate? I’ve kinda mentioned these throughout this survey. There’s not much I dislike.

77. What’s your favourite restaurant? Any place with crab legs.

78. Do you eat homemade food, food delivered from outside? Both.

80. Who cooks at home? Mark usually.

81. What kind of diet (e.g. low-fat, high-fiber, high-carbohydrate, balanced diet etc.) do you have? I try to balance it.

82. How do you keep yourself fit? I work out every day. I’m by no means “fit” yet, but I am getting there.

[slimfast1989-blog]

Obesity in America

       I believe there are many factors that lead to obesity in the United States.  In America we consume excess amount of unhealthy food and, we don't do enough physical exercise to compensate for the amount of food we consume. One of the leading causes I believe for obesity is the cost of healthier foods. Junk food is widely shown on nationwide television like: soda, candy bars, fast food, ice cream, chocolate cookies, potato chips, and cereal loaded with lots of sugar. The old adage states, “What you eat from your head to your feet” are so important. Junk food is virtually everywhere nowadays, you can shop at the 99 cent store and the dollar tree and get bad food for cheap and it is readily accessible. Healthier foods such as fruits and vegetables are more expensive these days, especially in this era people of working more than one job. They either decided to go out to fast food places because it is more of a convenience for them, or they buy cheap processed food that they can easily place in the microwave. Fast foods were supposed to be a convenience for individuals but, it ended up becoming more of the norm.

Another leading contribute of obesity are fast food restaurants have been planted on every corner of the United States.  Eating out at a restaurant used to be considered as a treat, because the average family would cook their daily meals at home. Most restaurants try to enhance the favor of their foods by using enormous amount of butter, sodium, and sugar to cook with. At little Caesar, I can buy a large pizza for only five bucks. I can supersized almost anything at a food restaurant from the fries to the burger to the shakes. Places like McDonalds sell a lot of items for cheap. Its value menu items can range from dollar burgers, fries, shakes. The kid's meal has attracted the attention of kids because it offers a cool little toy from SpongeBob square pants, Minions, Star wars, and other animated characters. Most McDonalds have playgrounds for the children which is a convenient for the parents. McDonald does an excellent job at enticing little kids, who does not like clowns. Golden Corral has the 99 cent kids’ night and all you can eat buffet.  

It is not just restaurants anymore that contribute to obesity but, gas station as well. Some gas station now have a variety of fast food places inside of the gas station, so if you're traveling cross country, you can now stop at one place an get all of the amenities you need, food and gas. Malls are like gas station for one-stop shopping. The mall has ingrate fast food places inside of itself, so now you can shop and eat. In schools and hospitals there are vending machines and soda machines. These are some of the place that contributes to obesity because they have junk food readily available to buy, rather than healthy dinners.  

I think technology has made people lazy. Technology is always advancing so it makes it easier for individuals to become less active. Nowadays, kids are too addicted to the latest phones, laptops, movies, internet, social media and video games. Relaxing around the house and playing with these gadgets takes away from physical activity.  There is no need to walk too much nowadays with elevators and escalators. There are not a lot of outdoor activities that children want do in the era of technology.

There is nothing wrong with technology. It has helped make certain things better but, people remain stagnate when it comes to motivating themselves to eat healthy and to do outside actives. You can now order groceries online pick them out and they can be delivered to you or you can pick them up at the store. You can call a store on the phone or email them and your meal is delivered right to your door. GurbHub.com is one of these entities that will deliver food to you.

Processed food is another leading cause of obesity, hypertension, and diabetes. The majority of people have grown up with processed food. It has been engrained in them from early childhood. They have no control over the craving for these comfort foods and change is hard so a lot of people continue eating processed foods rather than make the switch to healthier food choices. That saying, "Ignorance is bliss “and if you do not know, you do not do. Some people do not know that what they are eating is not good for them.

In the Documentary "Fat, Sick & Nearly Dead" Joe Cross had his priorities backwards he had wealth, partying, ice cream, beer, and soda at the top." At the bottom of the list was balance, health, exercise, fruits, and vegetables"(Fat, Sick & Nearly Dead). Joe Cross went to a New York Pizza place he quoted “usually I eat two of these, not two slices, two whole pizza"(Fat, Sick & Nearly Dead). A lot of people in America do not eat healthy food. Joe Cross talked with several people on the streets and most of them did not eat a lot of fruit and vegetables, or any at all. Most of them knew where all of the fast food places were. Most people felt since they were young, they were invincible. In the documentary, one man who just had heart surgery stated that he was not going to let that stop him from eating whatever he wanted to eat. I personally would have thought that that would have been a huge eye opener. Joe Cross asked this question to various people “How long do you see yourself living to?" Most people said, "To fifty"(Fat, Sick & Nearly Dead) which is not very old. " The American diet consist of 60% process foods, 30 % animal products, 5 % fruit and eatables, 5 % whole grains"(Fat, Sick & Nearly Dead) . Joe Cross spoke to a truck driver and asked the truck driver, "Is it hard to find good food on the road" and the truck driver answer was "yes."(Fat, Sick & Nearly Dead)

I think location plays a role as well. In most southern states they eat a tremendous amount of fried foods and not a lot of vegetables and fruits. TLC has a show called my 600 pound life. On this show it shows people who are morbidly obese. One of the people on the show says food makes her happy. She mostly had hamburgers, fried foods, and pizza. Her and her sister would sneak when they were younger because of their childhood. Once she got older she could eat whatever she wanted and do whatever she wanted without any restrictions. At the age of 18, she was already 600 pounds. She was not able to do those things that she used to be able to do because of her weight. She could barley fit on the bus. She had entered a state of depression and got up to 700 pounds at the age of 23. She has a ton of medical problems such as breathing problems and joint pains.  There was a documentary called Shrink the Worlds Heaviest Man in the World and the man had been bedridden for 5 years before gastric bypass surgery. He was super overweight, but this did not stop him from eating pizza, five tacos, and a coca-cola. He had to be washed four times a day because of his weight.  

Here are some solutions to solve obesity. We as a society need go back to the days where technology was not really available and individuals would have nutritional meals which did not include processed food. I believe if you do not consciously take care of yourself and eat healthy but instead eat sugary foods in moderation. It will all get worse.

Another solution to solve obesity is that individuals need to exercise regularly, eat low calorie foods, eat more fresh fruits and fresh vegetables, and avoid food that have a high content of sugar and fat. Every high school and college should have salad bars. We should be buying fruits and vegetables for cheap when they are in season. Also, we should use alternative food choices such as yogurt instead of ice cream and bake tortilla chips instead of potato chips.

A few helpful things I learned in high school that could help curtail obesity was My Plate and My Pyramid that helped with portion control, healthier living, what foods you should eat more of, and what foods you should eat less of. These charts have several different tools and resources like: the center of disease control and prevention site, fruits and vegetables calculator, daily food plan (" my plate"), super tracker (helps develop meal plans monitors progress through weight loss), and a health education curriculum analysis tool.

In the documentary, Joe's juicing cleanse was used by the truck driver and he lost a ton of weight, looked healthier, and had more energy. He was able to be taken off his medication for his autoimmune disease. In conclusion if you eat food in moderation and exercise daily, you will live a long happy healthy life.

           Work Cited:

http://www2.aap.org/obestiy/index.html.

http://www.cdc.gov/obestiy/childhood/.

http://www.choosemyplate.gov/myplate/index.aspx.