#the rest of the podcast is really nice as well

[badgerhuan]

SO @maverickcalf UNEARTHED THIS PODCAST/INTERVIEW WITH BILL HADER FROM 12 YEARS AGO AND HE ACTUALLY TALKS ABOUT TROPIC THUNDER AND TOM IN A MORE DETAILED MANNER I'M VIBRATING THIS IS ALL I EVER WANTED!!!!!

JESSE THORN: What was it like to actually interact with him professionally; especially when he’s doing something as ridiculous as his character Les Grossman in that movie?

BILL HADER: He was great. He was really collaborative and was like, oh, do you want to come in on this, or maybe you say this and I say that.

I'VE ALWAYS WONDERED IF THEY EVER TALKED ABOUT IT!!! like the energy and chemistry they had between them, whatever little screen time they shared, always spoke to me like it's an interaction that was discussed about. you wouldn't get that kind of thing if it was just Tom doing his thing and Bill doing his best to keep up. they talked about it!! Tom asked for Bill's input!!!! I WAS RIGHT

He’s a very committed guy. He works incredibly hard, especially at those dances that he would do, and he would have these long monologues in the movie, mostly directed towards Matthew McConaughey’s character that were really funny and hard to get through, but he was so focused on making it a character; like a person. He looked so crazy in it, but making Les Grossman a real force.

YES god I'm so glad Bill talks about it here. like whenever people bring up Les to Tom they only ever ask about the dancing, but never about the CHARACTER WORK. that's what I love about Les honestly. that he so easily could've been a one note character played for laughs. but you can TELL that Tom put thought into his character and motivations, keeping Les grounded and more human. I love it so much.

He played it very real, like when he would get really angry he would actually be angry. He was really committed to it. But working with him and hanging with him in between scenes and stuff he was the nicest guy on earth. It helped that he was in that makeup, because for me after a while you forgot, oh, that’s Tom Cruise, and then at the end of the day you’d be walking to the van or your car, and he’d be like, “Hey Bill, great job today!” — Oh my god, that’s Tom Cruise!

more points for Tom being really nice 🥺🥺🥺 and him complimenting Bill oueghdgdhh I'M NORMAL ABOUT THIS

JESSE THORN: Bill, you’re a married man with a child; I am too. I would be worried if I ever met Tom Cruise that I would accidentally kiss him or something.

BILL HADER: When he’s dressed like Les Grossman, you don’t.

this part made me laugh honestly dhkfhdj DON'T LIE TO ME BILL

(thank you for playing Rob like he wants Les to rail him anyway)

That is an interesting thing. That’s the kind of guy who will sit there and talk – – like, between doing the movie and doing the MTV Movie Awards thing, like, I had a kid and stuff like that, and he definitely was like, “How’s that going?” Very legitimately interested in what was going on in your life and just very cool. Telling me stories about making The Outsiders, he’ll sit and tell you stuff and it was really cool.

we've all heard about how people talk about when Tom talks to you he always gives you 100% of his attention and is very genuine so this isn't a surprise but it's just so good to see Bill confirming that yet again 🥺

but also ohhh my god Tom telling Bill about making The Outsiders. just telling him stories about movies he's made!!! BILL DID YOU EVER TELL HIM YOU LOVE FILM THE WAY HE DOES!!! DID HE KNOW ABOUT YOUR DREAM TO BE A DIRECTOR!!!!!

I'm so happy this interview exists. and I'm so happy to have confirmation on things I've wondered about for years (did they ever discuss their characters while filming the movie, did Tom and Bill ever talk about films, etc). I can't believe this information was out there for over a decade and I only just learned about it!! thank you Blu so much for sharing this 🥹🥹🥹

[nhlclover]

𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐔𝐂𝐊 𝐊𝐈𝐃

madeleine chase x will smith

will goes on a podcast and reveals to the world his gushing crush on pop star, madeleine chase (wc; 1.11k)

༉‧₊˚. ꒰ notes! ꒱ this is lowkey inspired by how tate mcrae and cole sillinger first got together + what will said in a podcast about tate mcrae (literally every man is obsessed with her and so am i)

au masterlist

It had been about a week since Will had moved to San Jose and he was… settling. California was very different from Massachusetts and everything was new. From the weather to the people, everything was unfamiliar to Will. His teammates — another new thing Will was getting used to — had been nothing but welcoming. They had been showing him around the area and making sure he was settling in well—especially the Marleau family who were taking him in for his first year in San Jose.

He appreciated their efforts, even though the move was still overwhelming at times. The sunny, warm weather of California was a stark contrast to the often chilly and unpredictable climate of Massachusetts, and it was both a blessing and a challenge to adapt to. The culture here was more laid-back, and people seemed to carry an air of casualness that Will wasn’t entirely accustomed to.

In the midst of all these changes, he was dealing with the start of the hockey season, which brought on a lot of commitments. Despite today being a rest day from all of the beginning of the season media, Will was sitting in the Empty Netters podcast studio. Will had met Dan and Chris, the two hosts, a while back, promising them he’d come on when he got signed by the Sharks. Months later, Will was fulfilling his promise.

“Alright, Will, welcome to the Empty Netters pod! Glad to have you here,” said Chris.

“Thank you for having me,” Will said, smiling politely.

“So, you've been in San Jose for what—about two weeks? How’s the transition going? It’s gotta be a change from Massachusetts." Dan asked.

Will nodded, leaning into the mic a bit. “Yeah, about that but it feels like longer with everything going on. It’s been go, go, go since I got here but California’s great. And everyone’s been super welcoming, especially the Marleau family. They’ve really helped me get settled.”

Dan grinned. “Yeah, you got blessed with your living situation for your first year. I mean Patrick Marleau is a legend.”

“Not bad at all,” Will chuckled, relaxing a little. “They’ve been great. Showing me around, and introducing me to some good spots to eat. I’m trying to figure out the whole California lifestyle.”

The conversation flowed easily as they touched on his early career, what he was looking forward to with the Sharks and a few lighter topics.

“Okay, Will, to end this interview we just want to do some rapid-fire questions, alright? So these are just random.” Chris asked.

“Yeah, ok, sounds good,” Will replied.

“Great, first question,” Chris said, glancing at his notes. “What's your favorite movie?”

Will thought for a moment, debating between the movies he loved. “I'd have to say 'Good Will Hunting'. It's a classic and, well, it's set in Boston. Reminds me of home.”

Both Dan and Chris nodded appreciatively. “Nice choice,” Dan answered. “Alright, next up: what's your go-to comfort food?”

“Probably a good lobster roll,” Will replied instantly. “It's practically a staple back home.”

“A lobster roll from Cape Cod sounds fucking delicious.” Chris agreed.

“Alright, final question,” Dan says. “Who is your celebrity crush?”

“Madeleine Chase,” Will says without hesitation.

Both Dan and Chris burst into laughter at Will’s quick answer, his cheeks turning a light shade of pink as he realizes his eagerness. “Damn, you were ready for that question,” Chris says through laughter. “Can you expand on why she is your celebrity crush?”

Will chuckled, rubbing the back of his neck as he tried to gather his thoughts. “I mean, first of all, she’s gorgeous. I keep seeing photos of her performing for Taylor Swift in Europe and… whew.” Will answers, getting another chorus of laughter from the podcast hosts. “But also there’s something about her vibe. She seems really down-to-earth and genuine. I’ve seen her in interviews and she’s got a great sense of humor.”

Dan grinned. “Sounds like you’ve thought about this a lot.”

“Yeah, maybe a bit,” Will admitted, laughing. “But, you know, it’s hard not to admire someone like that. She’s got the whole package.”

“Quick, favorite song of hers?” Chris asked.

Will didn’t have to think much before answering. “Close To You. It’s just such a fun song to listen to.”

“If you have a message for Madeleine that we might be able to get to her at some point, what would it be?” Dan asked.

Will chuckled, questioning if he really wanted to it all out bare on this podcast. “Answer my DM,” he said, confidence lacing his tone.

“No way you’ve DM’ed her.” Chris laughed.

Will simply shrugged, laughing along with the two brothers. Dan leaned in with mock seriousness. "Alright, Sharks fans, you heard it here first—Will Smith’s got game both on and off the ice."

As the podcast wrapped up, Will thanked Chris and Dan, and they walked him out. His agent was waiting, jumping straight into talking about his schedule, but Will wasn't really listening. He was still stuck replaying the last part of the interview in his head.

Did I really just say that? His mind replayed the last part of the interview—talking about Madeleine Chase with no filter, like some lovestruck kid. He cringed inwardly, imagining how it must have sounded to anyone listening. He could already hear the ribbing from his teammates once this went live, and he cringed. His agent's voice was just white noise now as Will’s thoughts spiraled, imagining the potential fallout.

Answer my DM. The words bounced around his head like an unwelcome reminder of how he’d opened himself up for a joke. What if she actually did hear it? He wasn’t sure what compelled him to be so bold, especially considering they didn’t know each other. Will had always been reserved, especially in public settings, and now he felt like he'd let his guard down too much.

“Will? You listening?” his agent said, snapping him out of his daze.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m here,” Will replied quickly, though he wasn’t. He pulled out his phone, hovering over the podcast's social media page. Maybe I can ask them to cut that part out… no, that’s ridiculous. It’s too late. He forced himself to put his phone away, trying to focus on anything else but the possibility of his comment blowing up online.

Will sighed, rubbing the back of his neck as he tried to shake off the doubt. Maybe it wasn’t that bad. They laughed, so it couldn’t have been too cringey… right?

Still, the uncertainty weighed on him. California was supposed to be a fresh start, but at that moment, Will couldn’t help but feel like he’d already stumbled out of the gate.

[matty-bear]

Heyy! I was wondering if I could request a sturniolo triplets x sister reader. She’s like 17/18 and they are doing a podcast episode with her, and they talk about childhood stories and maybe she plays football or something, or is really into art. Just an idea… love you fics btw!

A Trip Down Memory Lane

type: request ! 

pairing: sturniolo x little sister 

warnings: sfw, fluffy, lighthearted sibling banter 

summary: the triplets invite you to join one of their podcast episodes ! cue in the bickering and childhood memories 

notes: hope this is what you were wanting ^^ writing this was sm fun ! had a little trouble figuring out the childhood memories but i think i got the bickering down 🔥 happy reading ! hope you enjoy <3 

WC: 3425 

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“Good morning Campers and welcome back to the Cut The Camera Podcast!” Nick greets, a small smile toying at his lips as he looks at the camera before him. “It’s your favorite host… Not Matt, not Chris…” A few beats of silence pass by as the redhead leans closer to his mic. “Nick Stromboli.” 

Chris can be heard faintly giggling as Matt rolls his eyes. “I’m Matt.” The said male adds, holding up a small peace sign as he looks at his camera. 

“I wonder if someone will see that clip of you saying ‘Nick Stromboli’ and actually think that’s your last name,” Chris says as he leans towards his mic, his eyes shifting over at Nick who’s smiling proudly. 

The redhead’s smile falls as a thinking expression plays on his face. “No, because it’s crazy how I will instinctively say ‘Stromboli’ over and over again. Like the number of times I’ve said that instead of Sturniolo is getting a little worrisome.” 

“I’m Chris by the way!” The said male shouts with a large smile. He leans back in his chair and strums an imaginary air guitar for a moment before he returns in front of his mic. Nick adds to the boy's shenanigans by mimicking a few guitar noises before the brunette continues speaking. “Welcome to episode 35 of Cut The Camera Podcast. Today we have a very special episode for you guys  because we have a guest joining us today.” 

“She is sitting right across from me actually. Please, madmazel, introduce yourself to the viewers.” Nick dramatically brings his hand out in front of him and bows his head down. You roll your eyes at the sight and adjust the headphones on your head before looking straight into the camera across from you. 

“Hey guys! I’m y/n, it is very nice to be on here finally.” You greet, your voice soft as you gently speak into the mic. 

“How anticlimactic and boring was that.” You hear Matt mumble. You quickly whip your head around and narrow your eyes at the male who’s resting his head in his hand. 

“Says the one who said ‘I’m Matt’ and called it a day. You can’t be calling me boring when I said more words than you.” You sas, your statement earning a muffled giggle from Chris. Matt sends you a glare, the two of you locking eyes for a moment before he leans in closer to his mic. 

“Womp womp.” 

“Yeah, womp womp to you, kid. Let’s see if I beat you in talking today.” 

“OKAY!” Nick exclaims, a single hand raising as he cuts the bickering between you and Matt. “We’re not even five minutes in and you two are already fighting.” 

“Well, he started it.” You defend as you point an accusing finger towards Matt. Before the male gets the chance to retaliate, Nick cuts him off. 

“Enough! You will have the chance to argue later.” You roll your eyes and send another glare toward Matt as the older sticks his tongue out at you. “Anyways… Guys, this is our younger sister, y/n if you didn’t know.” 

“You guys don’t see her very often since she’s very camera shy and hates being on social media,” Chris adds as he reaches for the red solo cup in front of him. 

“What can I say, social media is a very toxic place.” You say with a shrug. 

“I completely agree.” You nod your head faintly when Nick points his finger at you. “Adding onto what Chris said about y/n being camera shy, we had to beg her to come on here for a week straight.” You send an innocent smile to your camera at the male’s statement and make a small heart with both your hands. 

“They almost gave up until I mentioned that we’d buy her food for a week,” Matt says, both his thumbs pointing toward Chris and Nick. 

“And Matt said he’d buy me a Fortnite skin!” You add. “I’m waiting for the item shop to refresh so I can make him buy the one I want.” 

“Okay, I knew about the food but not the skin,” Nick says, a single eyebrow raising as he looks over at Matt. 

“She made me add it,” Matt replies with a dramatic sigh. “She’s gonna run my pockets dry I kid you not.” 

“Yeah, yeah, you love me anyway.” 

“Do I?” A fake hurtful expression paints your face as you look over at Matt. 

“How rude.” You mumble with a frown. 

“Guys I'm kidding by the way. Don’t wanna stir up unnecessary drama.” Matt quickly blurts out as he points at his camera. 

“Say you love me back then.” You say, your arms crossing over your chest as you stare down at the older male. Matt takes a glance over at you before his gaze shifts over to Chris who gives him a small shrug. 

“I love you too.” Matt mumbles, earning a victorious smile from you. 

“Are you two done? Can we continue?” Nick asks, a heavy sigh escaping his lips as he leans against the booth. 

“We’re done.” You reply with a smile. 

“Okay perfect.” Nick adjusts his posture and reaches for his phone to pull up his notes app. “So, y/n, would you care to tell the viewers a few things about yourself? You know like how old you are, what you like to do, basic stuff.”

“Of course!” You exclaim, you smile not faltering as you look into your camera. “Well for starters, I am 18 years old and my birthday is a week after the triplets’. Hate being the youngest because these fuckers are always teasing me about everything. Especially when it comes to potential love interests.”

“It’s called tough love and being protective.” Chris corrects as he points a single finger at you. 

“Yeah, yeah.” You take a moment to roll your eyes before you continue. “Anyways, there are some things that I enjoy while being the youngest but I don’t think that’s very important right now. As for hobbies, I enjoy art. Especially painting. I have a shit ton of art supplies and enjoy taking time out of my day to take my canvas, paintbrush, and a few paints outside to paint the world around me. I find it very calming and it helps with my anxiety quite a bit.” 

“Sorry for cutting you off. I have to say this real quick.” Nick says as he holds one of his hands out in front of him. You faintly nod your head at the redhead, letting him know he can continue. “y/n is actually really good when it comes to painting. Like especially her landscape works. If she lets me, I’ll post a photo of one of her works on my story after this podcast episode gets uploaded.” 

“Awh, thanks, Nick.” You say, a shy smile overtaking your lips as you begin to fidget with the few rings littering your fingers. 

“I agree with Nick. For my birthday y/n painted me the most beautiful forest landscape with a cabin. I have yet to put it up yet since I’m scared I’ll fuck it up so it’s just sitting on my desk.” Matt adds, the biggest smile creeping onto his lips as he taps back to the day you gave him the said painting. 

“Kid literally cried when she gave it to him. I don’t blame him though, it really is a sick-ass painting.” Chris hops onto the small compliment train as you find yourself sinking into the seat you're in, suddenly feeling a little shy. 

“I’m working on something for  you two by the way.” You speak up, your statement gaining the attention of all the boys as they quickly look over at you. “Nick’s is done, I'm just doing some finishing touches on yours, Chris.” Excited expressions can be seen on the two boy’s faces as they smile widely. 

“Don’t play with me, I’m so fucking excited.” Chris says as he hugs himself. 

“Can you send pics to me? I wanna see.” Matt asks as he sends you a large smile. 

“Yeah, I’ll send you pictures when I get home.” You reply with a small smile of your own. 

“Are you ready to move into the next topic, y/n?” Nick asks as he takes his phone back in his hand and scrolls through his list of questions. 

“Born ready.” You reply, firmly nodding your head as you sit at the edge of your seat and lean in closer to your microphone. 

“Alright…” Silence fills the studio for a moment before Nick asks the next question. “How is it like having triplet older brothers? Like in school or just in general.” 

“Hmm.. Interesting question.” A faint hum emits from your closed lips as you gently tap your pointer finger against your chin. “As for school, being in the same school as you guys was quite the experience. If I got the same teacher as one of you and the teacher recognized my last name, they would go on a small tangent about what it was like having you in the class. When it came to girls, it was pretty freaky considering how most of them tried to befriend me just so they could get closer to the y’all. So making friends that weren’t interested in using me to know my brother was a little tough. I did find a few friends though so I promise I'm not a lonely little fuck.” 

All three boys laugh in unison the moment the last sentence escapes your mouth. You simply shrug your shoulders and send your camera a tight-lipped smile before one of your brothers speaks up. 

“She’s lying, she has like two close friends right now.��� Matt says, earning a loud, dramatic gasp from you. 

“Matt, what the fuck!” You exclaim, a hurtful expression playing on your face as you look over at the older male. ���In my defense, I think that it’s better to have two close friends than 10 friends who are fake.” 

“She has a point.” Chris says as he gently nods his head. 

“y/n, continue.” Nick urges as he waves his hand out in front of him. 

“As I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted.” You start, your eyes narrowing as you glare at Matt. “I also found it quite weird how girls would openly confess their feelings for one of you guys to my face. Like… Why are y'all telling me this, I'm not them. I also didn’t understand what they saw in you guys.” 

“Okay, rude.” Nick mumbles as he focuses his gaze on his phone. 

“Yall are my brothers so I could never see them how I saw you.” You defend with a shrug. “Anyways, outside of school was a whole different story. People didn’t know I was y’all’s sister unless they knew of my last name or if I was hanging out with you guys. Speaking of hangouts, I found it quite endearing how people would come up to us because they recognized you guys. Like you guys always talked out how being recognized in public was a dream of y'alls and seeing it happen was very heartwarming. Apart from being recognized, it was funny to see people’s reactions to seeing triplets just walking around minding their own business. It was like I was in a fucking zoo when I was with these three. I always had to tell people to mind their business because they just stand there and fucking stare. Like God, some people just have no manners sometimes.” 

“Yeah, some people act like we’re literal aliens. It’s fucking weird. Like hello, we’re regular human beings that just so happen to be triplets.” Chris chimes in as he rolls his eyes. 

“Yeah, it’s fucking insane.” You agree as you nod your head faintly, your gaze shifting to Nick whose eyes are glued to his phone. 

“You texting your boyfriend over there?” You call. Your statement quickly catches the redhead’s attention as he quickly lifts his head, his face flushing as he locks eyes with you. “Did I miss something?” 

“No,” Nick replies flatly. 

“Why are you blushing then?” 

“I’m not?”

You send the older male a look as he avoids your intense gaze by looking back down at his phone. 

You were definitely gonna pry about this later. 

“Anyways, next topic,” Nick says after he clears his throat. “What are some of your favorite childhood memories that we were a part of?” 

“God there’s so many.” You start as you begin to gaze off into the distance, your mind running with countless old memories. “I’ll start with Chris and work my way up.” All three boys nod their heads and wait for you to continue to be lost in your thoughts for a moment longer before you finally continue. “I remember when dad took Chris out to play mini golf one day and I begged Jimmy to take me with him because I wanted to hang out with Chris. I vividly remember placing bets with Chris on who would make the most holes and the loser would have to jump in a bush and give up 20 bucks to the winner. Seeing Chris jump in a bush and humiliate himself in front of a group of girls was the highlight of my week.” 

“How old were you when this happened?” Matt asks with a laugh. 

“About nine.” You reply, faintly nodding as you look over at Chris who has his head buried in his hands. 

“So you’re telling me a nine-year-old beat you in a game of mini golf,” Nick states as he turns in his seat to also look over at Chris. 

“I let her win!”  The brunette defends as he points his pointer finger at you. 

“Did you really?” You ask, your jaw-dropping. 

“Yeah.” 

“We’re going out for another game of mini golf then because that’s fucked up.”

“Fine, we’re going this weekend.” 

“Same rules?”

“Same rules but we’re tripling the prize money.”

“Alright, word. You’re going down, Owen.” 

“Ooohh she said your middle name.” Nick coos as he bites back a laugh. 

Chris rolls his eyes, a smile creeping up onto his lips. “Yeah, yeah. We’ll see this weekend.” 

“Guys, I'm gonna record our game and send it to Nick so you guys can see how badly I’ll destroy him.” You say as you stare into your camera. Chris shakes his head and makes a talking gesture with his hand before you continue. “Anyways, I remember when I was like 7 that for Halloween, Matt and I both wanted to be Spider-Man but we were arguing about it for like two hours because we both couldn’t be Spider-Man. And before you all say anything, I don’t think Spider-Gwen existed back then so I didn’t even think of being the female version of Spider-Man. Anyways, mom ended up painting my suit a different color so me and Matt could both wear our suits and go trick or treating.” 

“Oh my God, I remember that. We were both being annoying little pricks with our web shooters.” Matt says with a smile as he does a web-shooting gesture with his hand. 

“I also remember Dad having to confiscate the said web shooters because you and y/n kept abusing us with them,” Nick adds as he rolls his eyes and leans back against the booth with his arms crossed. 

“Those fuckers hurt like hell. I think I had a bruise for like a week.” Chris says as he rubs the side of his thigh. 

“Yeah, yeah. What matters most is that Matt and I had the night of our fucking lives.” You say as you look over at the said male. You go to send him a smile but the moment you see the older get up from his seat and lean towards you with his hand held out in front of him, you quickly lean in and share a quick high five. 

“Anyways... I didn’t forget about you, Nick.” You start as you send a wide smile to the said male. “When I turned eleven, Mom and Dad took us to go to the arcade for my birthday because I wanted to get all the plushies. Me being fucking dog shit at crane games ended up spending all my game currency in like 10 minutes and didn’t win anything. When Nick found out, he used the remainder of his credits to get me like five Hello Kitty plushies. I still have them to this day and they’re all sitting on my bed. Not to mention how like two of them are fucking massive and so soft.” 

“Wait, you still have them?” Nick asks, his eyes slightly wide as he looks at you. 

“Of course I do! They’re tied to memories, Nick.” You reply as you twirl your finger inside one of the holes at the corner of the desk. 

“How much stuff do you have from your childhood? Like did you keep most stuff in your old bedroom or did you get rid of everything?” Chris asks as he shifts his focus over to you, his left hand reaching to bring the microphone closer to him. 

“It depends on the emotional connection I have with that item. If it was just in my room just to be in my room, it means nothing. If it was something from you guys or Mom and Dad, I most definitely still have it in my room. I will not allow myself to throw something away that holds memories or if I have deep attachments to it.” 

“So if I gave you a rock, you’d keep it?” Matt asks with a small smile. 

You narrow your eyes at the male. “Well, it’s a rock so no. Maybe if I was like five, maybe I’d keep it.”

“Wait, now I wanna see what all you kept,” Nick says as he sits upright.

“You would be very surprised about how much shit I have in my room.” You say as you lean back in your seat, your arms crossing over your chest. 

“Next vlog is gonna be a house raid slash y/n house tour video guys! Look out for it.” Chris states as he points at his camera. 

“I think I'm good actually, thanks.” You mumble, your statement earning soft laughs from the three in front of you. 

“So I'm guessing that's a no to the house raid?” Nick asks, a single eyebrow raising as he slightly tilts his head to the side. 

“Well I'm not saying no to raiding my house or the house tour, I'm saying no to the video. I don’t want people to see my living conditions. Knowing how well your fans find where you guys are at, I wouldn’t doubt that they’d find where I live.” You defend, your voice soft as you point down at the desk in hopes of getting your point across. 

“Okay, that’s very reasonable.” Matt agrees as he leans back against the booth, a single arm coming up to rest at the top of it. 

“So we can raid your house,” Chris says as the smile on his lips grows. 

You let out a soft sigh as you pinch the bridge of your nose. “Yes, you guys can raid my house.” You give in. All the boys cheer loudly at your statement, causing a soft laugh to emit from you. “BUT you need to text me before y'all come over.” 

“Deal!” Nick exclaims, his hands clasping together a few times as he claps excitedly. 

“Gonna start the prank wars back up the second I step foot inside your house by the way,” Matt says, his statement barely being picked up by the microphone as he leans back a little. 

“WHAT?” You ask, your voice coming out louder than intended as you stare wide-eyed at the brunette to your right. 

“What’s the next topic, Nick?” Matt asks, trying to switch the topic as he sends the redhead a small smile. 

“Matt, repeat what you said right now.” You demand as you reach over to grab the flamingo plush in front of you. “Or the flamingo gets it.” 

“Hey!” Nick exclaims, his loud and sudden voice startling you. “Do not touch Fred. Put him down.” 

You raise both your hands up in surrender and slowly put the flamingo back down. As you do so, you can hear Matt giggling softly in your headset and you quickly send a glare to the male as you return to your seat. 

·:¨༺ ♱✮♱ ༻¨:· TagList ·:¨༺ ♱✮♱ ༻¨:·

@freshloveforthefit @nickuniversity @patscorner @frankdelreyy @sturnssan @kileybankzz @robins-scoop

[shivadh]

Portrait of a Royal

(Warning behind the cut for a full-length image of the new Jonathan Yeo portrait of Charles III, which is real startling if you aren't expecting it.)

"Having met Charles Windsor," Gregory said over breakfast that morning, "I can assure you, he really is exactly the kind of man who wouldn't notice an elaborate and expensive roasting."

They had a rule about reading smartphones at breakfast -- using a tablet was fine if they were talking business, and phones were permitted for scheduling or settling arguments about the lyrics to songs or movie trivia, but overall they tried to keep the devices face-down. On that particular morning absolutely nobody was following the rule, because Jes had walked into the dining room with Michaelis, propped their tablet against a juice carafe in the middle of the table, and said, "I want everyone's opinion on what the actual living fuck is going on here."

Gerald had almost choked on his coffee. Alanna, feeding Sera, had looked up at the tablet, showing a portrait of King Charles III of England done in raw-meat pinks and muddy browns, and missed Sera's face entirely with a spoonful of mashed banana. Joan's eyes went huge as Eddie went into peals of laughter, which the twins promptly imitated, slapping their hands on the trays of their high chairs.

Gregory had carefully set down his silverware and rested his elbows on the table, propping his nose on his clasped hands to try and maintain a poker face.

"It's satire, right?" Ger had asked, looking from Jes to Gregory to Alanna. "I actually liked art history at school, and that's a painting someone did in protest, isn't it?"

"This is the official royally commissioned portrait of Charles the third," Michaelis had said, helping himself to breakfast at the sideboard and settling in between Joan and Jes. "But yes, it is also satire."

"They paid for that?" Eddie asked, gesturing at the painting. "They paid for it. And voluntarily put it on display."

"So the press releases say," Jes said. "I'm taking soundings because we are absolutely dedicating at least one episode of The Echo to it. I might have to start an entirely new podcast about contemporary art just so I can do a deep dive."

"Satire," Gerald repeated, staring at the painting.

"Not explicitly according to the artist, but his description of it is…very dry," Michaelis said. Jes held up their phone and read from it.

"The vivid color of the glazes in the background echo the uniform’s bright red tunic, not only resonating with the royal heritage found in many historical portraits but also injecting a dynamic, contemporary jolt into the genre with its uniformly powerful hue…" they stopped to snicker.

"Oh that's good," Alanna said approvingly. "Calling raw-flesh red the royal heritage is a very nice touch."

"The butterfly approaching King Charles's shoulder in the portrait adds a layer of narrative depth, symbolizing both his known advocacy for environmental causes and his personal transformation."

"It's a lie," Joan said. The adults looked at her.

"What's a lie, hon?" Gregory asked.

"I mean -- " Joan frowned at the painting. "He says he's painting the king's portrait but he's actually painting his feelings about the king, right? And being paid to paint a portrait implies you're supposed to be on the subject's side. But he's definitely not. So it's kind of like a lie. Of a painting. That's cool," she added, thoughtfully. "He roasted the king and the king didn't even notice? That's so cool!"

"Having met Charles Windsor," Gregory said, "I can assure you, he really is exactly the kind of man who wouldn't notice an elaborate and expensive roasting."

"That's sort of what satire is," Gerald added. "It's saying one thing but meaning another in a way that's really obvious to almost everyone."

"Ooh," Joan replied, digesting this. "I've had European history," she continued. "Other royal families aren't like ours."

"Well, some," Michaelis said. "Most, perhaps. Because we elect our royalty, even if we do tend to…elect in families. If you're king one day, it'll be because Gregory trained you and the people think you'd be best at the job. If you were the kind of person he is," he added, nodding to the portrait, "You probably wouldn't get elected."

"I sure wouldn't want a portrait like that done of me if I did," Joan said.

"That reminds me, we really do need to have portraits done," Gregory said to Eddie.

"Well, I say hire this guy," Eddie replied, gesturing at the painting. "At least you know you'll get an honest opinion."

"Doubt he needs the work, given he managed to get paid to insult a king to his face," Jes said. "Maybe that's the angle -- he basically ran a con on the royal family."

"Is it a con if they pay you for something and you give it to them?" Gerald asked.

"To be clear, that was con-parenthesis-admiring-close-parenthesis," Jes replied.

"I should never have told them I have a Tumblr," Ger said to Alanna.

"Don't look at me, I warned you," she replied.

"His other work is very good," Gregory said, scrolling images on his own phone. "I wonder if we can afford him. Love to see what he'd do with you, Eddie."

"I don't mind. Whatever he does, can't be worse than the haters who didn't like my TV show," Eddie replied serenely.

"Am I going to meet the Windsors, ever?" Joan asked Gregory.

"Oh, sooner or later, probably."

"We used to have to go to the birthdays sometimes," Alanna said. "Gregory and Gerald and me. We used to immediately go find Mia and then spend the parties running around with her, causing mischief."

"That's Queen Amelia of Genovia," Michaelis told Joan.

"I should call her, she's going to love this," Gregory said absently.

"I owe her money, I think," Gerald added. "Don't play poker with Genovians," he told Serafina, who burbled.

Eddie, who had apparently already thought of someone to call, had his phone to his ear. "Hey, Gee," he said, to whoever answered. Gregory looked at him curiously. "Yeah, it's Ed. Oh, don't give me shit, I married for love. Have you seen the new Yeo painting? I know! Yeah, I thought you might. Can I get his number? Oh, great. And do you know what his rates are? Well, yeah, and I want to be top of the waiting list. Okay. Huh, that's…affordable."

The entire table was silent. Eddie grinned at them.

"Oh, would you? You are the best, my man. Yeah, absolutely. Hey, next time you're in Europe, book a few days here, huh? Okay. Okay -- yeah, here it comes -- ciao, darling!" he said, and hung up.

"Who do you know who can quote you Jonathan Yeo's fees?" Jes asked.

"Gordon Ramsay," Eddie said casually. "He had a portrait done. I don't know what the royal budget is but his going rate, at least pre-Windsor, is not going to dip my bank account uncontrollably."

"You married for love?" Gregory prompted.

"Oh yeah, he likes to make fun of me for marrying into royalty, he calls me King Golddigger. I think you'll like him, I'll introduce you."

"What if you have Mr. Yeo do a portrait and it ends up like that, though?" Joan asked, gesturing at the painting. Jes picked up the tablet and blanked it, setting it aside.

"Then I will have deserved it, don't you think?" Gregory asked. "We should never try to pretend to a face that's better than the one we actually have. One reason art is so important is that it reminds us of that. That's why we spend so much government money on the arts. Now, finish your eggs, we are definitely going to have to have some conversations about that painting with several of the MPs, it's going to be a rowdy morning."

I think this is more or less extracanonical, but I couldn't get out of my head the idea of the Shivadh royals reacting to Yeo's portrait of Charles III. I don't think he's actually done one of Gordon Ramsay, but I think Ramsay's the kind of guy who would enjoy his work, for sure. Yeo's statement about the portrait is here; it's well worth clicking around his site, his other work is equally fantastic. I can only imagine what he'd do with a portrait of Gregory or Eddie (or Michaelis).

[writingduhh]

listen im lowkey obsessed w the idea of schlatt x reader who doesnt stream or anything but is a guest on chuckle sandwich

Ok I LOVE THIS! My mind immediately went to when Charlie was still on the pod so hope that’s ok! (You can just pretend it’s tucker for all the tucker lovers)

Also, this is Fem reader!

Jschlatt || Podcast Cameo

You’ve always been a little outside the world of streaming and content creation. While your boyfriend, Schlatt, was making waves online, you preferred to stay in the background, supporting him quietly. You loved the privacy, the comfort of your normal life, and the knowledge that while he entertained millions, he came home to you.

But one day, that quiet routine was interrupted when Schlatt casually mentioned, “Hey, how would you feel about being on Chuckle Sandwich?”

You looked up from your book, eyebrows shooting up in surprise. “Me? On the podcast? Schlatt, I don’t even use social media. No one knows me. What would I even talk about?”

He grinned, leaning against the doorframe with that mischievous look you knew all too well. “That’s the point. You’re not like anyone else we’ve had on, and I think it’d be fun. Plus, it’s a chance for the world to see why I’m so obsessed with you.”

You rolled your eyes, your heart fluttering despite yourself. “Obsessed, huh? You’re laying it on thick today.”

“Can’t help it,” he shrugged, walking over to sit you, pulling you into his arms. “I just think you’d be great. Besides, you already know and like the guys. They’ll make it easy on you.”

You hesitated for a moment, then sighed, resting your head on his chest. “I don’t know, Schlatt. I’m not used to being in the spotlight like you are.”

He tilted your chin up, his gaze softening as he looked into your eyes. “You’ll be fine. I’ll be right there with you the whole time. And if you don’t like it, we never have to do it again. But I really think you’ll surprise yourself.”

With his arms around you and that earnest look in his eyes, it was hard to say no. “Alright, fine. I’ll do it. But only because you asked.”

“Good choice,” he murmured, leaning down to press a slow, lingering kiss to your lips. “I can’t wait to show you off.”

The day of the recording arrived faster than you expected. You felt a mix of nerves and excitement as you walked into the recording studio with Schlatt by your side. Charlie and Ted greeted you warmly, as they always did, immediately making you feel at ease. They were as goofy and charming in person as they were on camera, and it wasn’t long before you were laughing along with them.

“So, what made you decide to put up with Schlatt here?” Charlie teased, leaning back in his chair as the recording began.

You shot Schlatt a playful glance, “Honestly? I think it’s his weird mix of sarcasm and sweetness. It keeps me on my toes.”

Schlatt grinned, resting his hand on your thigh under the table.

Ted jumped in, his voice full of curiosity. “So, how do you handle the whole ‘dating a youtuber’ thing? It’s gotta be pretty different from a regular relationship.”

You thought about it for a moment, feeling Schlatt’s thumb gently stroking your leg. “It is different, but it’s also kind of nice. I love that he has something he’s passionate about, and it makes the time we spend together even more special. Plus, I get to see a side of him that the audience doesn’t. A side that’s softer, sweeter… maybe even a little bit shy.”

Schlatt laughed, his hand giving your leg a light squeeze. “ Me!? Come on, you’re making me sound soft.”

You turned to him, your eyes sparkling with affection. “You are soft, sometimes. Especially when we’re alone.”

The guys erupted in playful jeers and teasing comments, but Schlatt just leaned in closer, his lips brushing against your ear. “Keep talking like that, and I might just have to show you how rough I can be.”

Your breath hitched slightly, your cheeks flushing at his words. You shot him a look that was both amused and flustered, and he chuckled lowly, clearly enjoying your reaction.

The conversation continued, flowing effortlessly from topic to topic, with Charlie and Ted keeping the mood light and fun. They asked you questions about how you and Schlatt met, your life as someone without social media, and what it was like dating someone with such a large online presence. You answered honestly, with Schlatt chiming in every so often with a sarcastic quip or a teasing remark that had you all laughing.

At one point, the conversation turned to pet peeves, and you couldn’t resist poking fun at Schlatt. “He leaves his clothes everywhere. I swear, it’s like a trail of evidence from the front door to wherever he is.”

Schlatt groaned, but there was a playful look in his eyes. “And you’re perfect, huh?”

You shrugged, giving him an innocent smile. “Pretty much.”

The banter flowed naturally, and before you knew it, the recording was wrapping up. Ted turned to you with a grin. “You did great. You’re super entertaining. Ever thought about starting your own channel?”

You shook your head, laughing. “Oh, no. I think I’ll leave that to you guys. I’m happy just being the supportive girlfriend.”

Schlatt wrapped an arm around your shoulders, pulling you close. “And I’m more than happy to keep you all to myself.”

As the recording ended and the mics were turned off, you felt a wave of relief mixed with a sense of accomplishment. You’d done it. You’d stepped out of your comfort zone and had actually enjoyed yourself.

Charlie and Ted both gave you hugs, thanking you for being a guest. “You’ve got to come back sometime,” Charlie said with a wink. “We’ll make a regular out of you.”

“We’ll see,” you replied, smiling. “Maybe I’ll make a cameo every now and then.”

As you and Schlatt left the studio, he slipped his hand into yours, giving it a gentle squeeze. “See? Told you you’d be great.”

You leaned into him, feeling the warmth of his body against yours. “You were right. I actually had fun.”

“I’m glad,” he murmured, his voice softer now that you were alone. “And just so you know, I wasn’t kidding when I said I wanted to show you off. I love that you’re mine, and I wanted everyone to see how amazing you are.”

Your heart swelled at his words, and you stopped walking, turning to face him. “You know, for someone who tries to act tough all the time, you can be really sweet.”

Schlatt grinned, his hands finding your waist and pulling you closer. “Only for you. Don’t go spreading that around.”

You laughed, wrapping your arms around his neck as he leaned in, his lips touching yours. “Your secret’s safe with me.”

[yandereunsolved]

ꨄ︎ Yandere Podcaster — Amos Emerie ꨄ︎

"Welcome to Holy Springs, darling!" I had a vision of you coming here. We must be destined to be together.

"Nice to meet you?"

"Oh, I'm Amos! I actually run a pretty successful podcast. You've probably heard of it before. It's called Yandere Unsolved."

"I listen to that every morning! How could I not recognize your voice? I'm so stupid."

"Me? You listen to me?" I think I just came.

"Yeah! I love how you delve into the unsolved murders supposedly committed by these deranged murderers."

Ow. I am not that deranged. I just love you a little too much. I wouldn't kill anyone unless I really needed to. It's against my moral code. Moral is a subjective word, after all!

"It's something I-I'm really interested in as well!"

Can they tell I'm sweating? I'm not sweating that much. It'll be fine. It'll be fine. They don't even notice. They just look so cute. They smell even better than my visions could have predicted. I wonder why type of—

"Amos! I have a question. Why does this place seem so barren?"

There are a bunch of entities, both good and evil, inhabiting this place. I'm getting to them before they get to you. I couldn't let anyone get to my precious darling. The rest better back off. I'll fuck up their bets if they don't. Steal some of their money. Yeah, totally. 

"This is just a cozy little town. It's usually not so quiet. I guess you just moved in here during a quiet day."

"That makes sense. Would you mind showing me to... one second... this location. It's where my apartment is. I normally wouldn't ask someone I just met, but my phone has been glitching since I got here, and I don't exactly have a psychical map I am able to use. I couldn't even find this town on the maps! I guess it's just because it's so tiny, haha."

Ugh, I know who that is. That demonic ass better not be trying to lay claim to you.

"I can show you there! Your apartment is actually right next to mine." It's just how I envisioned it. I just hope they aren't feeding right now. That ghoul always seems so ravenous for another meal. I couldn't let them get to you.

"What a strange coincidence!"

"Yeah—coincidence... Let's go!"

I'll protect you along the way and from the others.

You're already mine.

You just don't know it yet.

[darlinguistics]

'its just IMPOSSIBLE to not be addicted to your phone nowadays its UNREALISTIC-'

heres some advice to being less chronically online. for gen z (and younger??) who dont even know how to start thinking about it and have only heard shitty advice from older adults who just genuinely do not get it, from a fellow gen z and my experiences so far.

*these are personal and may not all 100% resonate but its still good prompting to start thinking about things! PLEASE feel free to add your own stories/advice in the notes! support your fellow humans, dont gatekeep what youve learned, lets have these conversations! and no negativity/pessimism please <3

first thing is to make it a less scary thought, a more concrete idea and not a hypothetical. it doesnt have to be all-or-nothing, cold turkey, a huge announcement and a fundamental shift in your personality. the internet will be in your life for the rest of your life, this is an ongoing relationship you are trying to make healthier thats all! and it takes one step at a time and some self-compassion, but a true effort nonetheless. 'dont you think thats a bit too serious-' if youre my age you quite literally grew up and developed online, it is literally part of your psyche the way your childhood is, it IS serious, you deserve to treat it seriously.

dont save your login info/dont stay logged in for social media accounts, having to manually log in when you want to go on like youre on some elementary school chrome book is a really healthy and clear boundary to have between being logged off and logged on.

-> bigger challenge - uninstall it on your phone in general, only log on on your laptop/pc if applicable for you!

if youre motivated to, try to work on your posture too. i only say that because most of our bad posture is at least partially related to being on our phones a lot, and when i started wanting to fix my posture, completely separately and unrelated from trying to break my phone addiction, it made it easier to lose interest in my phone since i didnt want to ruin my progress with my posture. it made me start to have a mindset like 'well if you cant do this on your phone with good posture then dont do it' and 'if youre on your phone so long your posture starts to cave in, youve probably spent too long on your phone anyway'

listen to music more. its easier for me to kinda write off my phone and do other things if i just open music or a podcast or long youtube video on it. i know we all love long video essays, but i recommend music more specifically for me at least because im less inclined to pause music or scroll while listening to it for some reason? whereas using a show or video or podcast for white noise, im way more likely to also be scrolling on my phone and that is my activity lol. music for some reason i dont want to interrupt and instead of being on my phone i can clean or do something productive on my computer etc

this one is sooo hard but try to fall asleep with some distance between you and your phone, even just a couple feet. mine stays on the desk next to my bed which isnt that far but its better than on bed like it used to be. when you wake up you probably wont feel like reaching for it right away if its far and even better if you have to get up for it because then at least you stand and move your body first thing instead of looking at your phone first thing. and try to get more and more of your morning routine done before touching your phone over time.

-> for me, i started by just trying to at least wake up a bit in bed before touching it, then stand up before touching it, then stand and stretch, then going to the bathroom first, making coffee first, feeding the cat first, etc. its surprisingly helpful to have a specific chore/task in mind that is The requirement so that everytime you do it you get a lil dopamine rush for unlocking your phone from yourself lmao. when the weather was nice i used to make my Requirement being outside first before going on it and i LOVED that. esp as it got easier and i started doing more and more before going on it and finally walking outside with coffee and my phone felt like such a pleasant little reward.

find a hobby that uses your hands. example: i really need to get back into knitting because when i did it regularly so much time that wouldve been on my phone was spent knitting with music/podcasts/shows/(even online lectures! when i felt productive lol) playing. its the same amount of physical relaxing - barely moving lol - but uses a longer attention span and a much better dopamine hit than scrolling, i literally MADE things.

-> you might be thinking, 'but mindless knitting isnt better than mindless scrolling is it?' but that mindless feeling on your phone is just that, mindless. the mindless feeling you get when doing something like knitting is actually closer to a flow state, which is actually incredibly good for you, like a fulfilling nutritious meal as opposed to 'empty calories' or whatever

get a widget for your homescreen that shows your screen time. i have one and of course it doesnt always stop me but seeing that time go up all day the more i use it and the pride of keeping it low is really helpful

practice grounding. in general.

spend more time on anonymous activities and have more privacy and less attachment with your 'persona' - what i mean by that is, i consider things like scrolling through tumblr (for me personally!) to be relatively harmless because i dont try to like,, brand myself here. if youre a tumblr regular you know the jokes - 0 follows, 0 notes, screaming to the void, moots you dont talk to, blorbo pfp and urls, fake names everywhere, and we're having fun! basically targeting the 'everyone is famous now' thing with this one - embrace being a nobody with no personal stakes here

-> personally ive never kept up with having social media accounts that are actually just, me irl - like a facebook or main instagram, like a locals account yknow? but i think it goes for that too - stop spending so much time trying to further personalize your online presence in the hopes of it representing you perfectly - because it never will, and it shouldnt, and you shouldnt aspire for that. your social media presence is lighthearted and incredibly surface-level, treat it like that! thats not me bashing social media either, having that mindset will make it more enjoyable bc youll be using it as it should be used!

do following/followers or camera roll/files or app purges. this is also a soft launch type of way to practice easing into a better mindset. aside from just literally getting rid of junk, the process of trying to judge whether or not you need something is good practice in mindfulness! even if you dont delete everything you feel like you maybe should, thats fine, youll do other purges in the future too. eventually youll get better at parting with things and realizing when things that feel good in a moment are actually bad for you. and it forces you to regularly check in on your more long-lasting parasocial relationships online and how theyre serving you or not

speaking of parasocial - for actual friends, if theyre irl, think about how much you interact with them online vs in person and why you think that is and how it affects you. maybe youll wanna see them more irl if possible (i promise its better for your friendship), maybe youll realize you dont need to keep tabs on them anymore (old high school acquaintances lookin at you). for celebrities and fandom things - try to think about the bare minimum content from them you could do with. you dont have to unstan all your faves and stop enjoying things - but do you need their notifications on? if you have designated fan accounts, are they still a source of joy or of stress? do you need them on all the platforms or just one or two? do you need to have all that saved content of them? are there aspects of this that you love that could be found elsewhere, maybe even offline? (again you dont have to stay one way forever, just encouraging checking in with yourself!)

if youre of the genre of online where you just cant help yourself from getting involved in big discussions or discourse and arguments - i recommend journaling when you get upset by something online, articulating your feelings without the idea of someone ever reading it and without the goal of 'winning' or being the most correct and logical or even the most sympathetic and morally good. take away every audience aspect of it. what is this really about for you, and why would strangers online deserve to hear your personal well-thought out opinions? why would your thoughts deserve to be simplified and misconstrued and underappreciated the way they would be in this discussion? is there even an outcome to this where you feel truly satisfied? are their people who are more worthy of hearing your thoughts who arent part of this audience? is this a conversation that is best held online where so much communicative nuance is inevitably sacrificed?

in the end these are all just practices in remembering how in control you are. and that goes for if any of these are scary or too difficult sounding too! these all become less scary if you remember that as soon as anything becomes too uncomfortable or painful, you have all the power to stop doing it, make a change, and try again later. so much of advice for quitting bad habits can be intimidating because the pressure and the shame that would come from failing scares you out of the possible benefits of trying - just go ahead and kill that shame from the jump. of course youre going to fail! you are going to have setbacks! thats part of it! you have agency in this, always. the internet is not inherently or completely evil nor good. build trust in yourself to make the calls on when it is serving you and when it isnt on a case-by-case basis, and then give yourself permission to learn through trial and error.

and remember you are worth all of this effort. i believe in us <3

[sunsetsandsunshine]

~ 𝙸 𝚜𝚙𝚢 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚖𝚢 𝚕𝚒𝚝𝚝𝚕𝚎 𝚎𝚢𝚎… ~

❤️👻💜👻🧡👻❤️👻💜👻🧡

·̩̩̥͙＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚𝚃𝙸𝙲𝙺𝙻𝙴𝚃𝙾𝙱𝙴𝚁 𝙳𝙰𝚈 𝟷𝟹: 𝙲𝙰𝚁 𝚁𝙸𝙳𝙴˚*•✩•̩̩͙*＊·̩̩̥͙

𝙶𝚎𝚗𝚛𝚎: 𝙵𝚕𝚞𝚏𝚏

𝚆𝚘𝚛𝚍𝚜: 𝟷,𝟾𝟺𝟻

𝙻𝚎𝚎: 𝚁𝚊𝚙𝚑 🐢❤️

𝙻𝚎𝚛’𝚜: 𝙳𝚘𝚗𝚗𝚒𝚎 🐢💜 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝙼𝚒𝚔𝚎𝚢 🐢🧡

𝚂𝚞𝚖𝚖𝚊𝚛𝚢: 𝚁𝚊𝚙𝚑, 𝙳𝚘𝚗𝚗𝚒𝚎 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝙼𝚒𝚔𝚎𝚢 𝚊𝚛𝚎 𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚘𝚗 𝚊 𝚌𝚊𝚛 𝚛𝚒𝚍𝚎 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚒𝚛 𝙳𝚊𝚍 𝚠𝚑𝚒𝚕𝚎 𝙻𝚎𝚘 𝚒𝚜 𝚜𝚝𝚞𝚍𝚢𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝙰𝚙𝚛𝚒𝚕 𝚋𝚊𝚌𝚔 𝚊𝚝 𝚑𝚎𝚛 𝚊𝚙𝚊𝚛𝚝𝚖𝚎𝚗𝚝…𝙸 𝚠𝚘𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚛 𝚠𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚌𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍 𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚙𝚎𝚗 𝚒𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚊𝚖𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚝 𝚘𝚏 𝚝𝚒𝚖𝚎…

(𝙰/𝙽: 𝙱𝚞𝚝 𝚖𝚘𝚜𝚝 𝚒𝚖𝚙𝚘𝚛𝚝𝚊𝚗𝚝𝚕𝚢: 𝙳𝚘𝚗’𝚝 𝚋𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚐𝚞𝚢! 𝚃*𝚌𝚎𝚜𝚝 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝙺𝚒𝚗𝚔/𝙽𝚂𝙵𝚆 𝚋𝚕𝚘𝚐𝚜 𝙳𝙽𝙸!!!)

𝚆𝚊𝚛𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜: 𝙲𝚞𝚜𝚜𝚒𝚗𝚐, 𝚝𝚒𝚌𝚔𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚐, 𝚊 𝚖𝚒𝚗𝚘𝚛 𝚖𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗 𝚘𝚏 𝚜𝚕𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝 𝚘𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚜𝚝𝚒𝚖𝚞𝚕𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚜𝚘𝚖𝚎 𝚓𝚘𝚔𝚎𝚜 𝚊𝚋𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚍𝚛𝚞𝚐𝚜 👁️👄👁️…

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚𝚂𝚕𝚘𝚠𝚕𝚢 𝚋𝚞𝚝 𝚜𝚞𝚛𝚎𝚕𝚢 𝚙𝚘𝚜𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚜𝚎 𝚖𝚍𝚗𝚍𝚑𝚜𝚓𝚓𝚜˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊·̩̩̥͙

“Are we there yet?” Mikey whined loudly. 

“Uh…no?” His immediate older brother said, sighing impatiently. 

“��Are we there yet now?” Mikey whined louder. 

“No, Mike.” Donnie huffed through his palm as he rested his cheek on his hand, effortlessly playing his Nintendo Switch as he started to drown out his younger brother’s consistent complaining and restlessness. 

Which…you would think he got used to by now. 

The orange cladded turtle let out a short grunt loudly and dramatically, dragging his hands down his face, “Are we there yet now—?”

“Mikey, I swear to God if you ask that question one more damn time I will not hesitate to open the car door and throw you into ongoing traffic.” Raph growled lowly at the youngest. 

“Boys…be nice to each other, please…” Splinter exclaimed from the front seat as he drove. 

“But Dad! Mikey’s being annoying!” The tallest turtle moaned and groaned as he sunk in the middle seat.

“When is he not?” Donatello mumbled under his breath. 

“Boys��” The rat said warningly. 

“…Sorry, Dad…” The teenager’s grumbled collectively as they glared at one another. 

The rodent father sighed, plugging his phone into the car unit as he stopped on a red light. “…Why don’t we listen to some Podcasts on the radio?” He offered, trying to find something that his boys would enjoy that didn’t involve ripping each of their tails off.

“Yohou listen to podcasts?” The purple banded teenager exclaimed curiously as he took off his headphones. 

“Of course!” Splinter announced proudly, “I’ve been listening to this one that Spy-itify recommended me…it’s really good and well thought out!”

“It’s…It’s…'Spotify', Dad…” The hazelnut eyed teen corrected. 

“That’s what I said; 'Spy-itify'.” The father said simply, causing Raph to facepalm and stuff his face right back into his phone.

“What’s the podcast about?” Michelangelo asked as he leaned his head on the closed window as Splinter started to drive again once more.  

“It’s about this man talking about nature…it’s extremely interesting; I think you three will enjoy it.” The charcoal eyed rat explained. 

“Huh…sounds cool enough.” Donnie snickered, “What’s the guy’s name? Like, the one who mainly talks in the podcast and stuff.”

“Zach Green.” The rat said. 

“He sounds like a drug dealer…” Raphael mumbled under his breath, earning some small snickers from his younger brother’s as their Dad started to play the podcast in the vehicle. 

A guy, most likely 'Zach Green', started singing as there was a ukulele playing in the background…

…And he sang…

��And sang…

…And. SANG.

And the three teenager’s wouldn’t have minded if the dude sounded…y'know, good! 

But he didn’t sound good. 

At all. 

“Grass is green~! The green is the grass~! The grass is the green and the green itself is greeeen~!” The speaker’s sung as the three teenagers collectively sighed as the Podcast continued to play amongst them. 

“…How about we play 'I spy' instead of listening to Shaggy get high?” Mikey suggested as his Dad hummed along to the tune…

Poor soul probably knew this song from heart…

“Anything but this.” Donnie agreed. 

“Best idea I’ve heard all day.” The second oldest murmured, crossing his arms as he looked at the youngest expectantly, “Well? You gonna say 'I spy' or what?”

“Let a guy think for a moment!” Mikey shrieked, “Okay, okay, okay…I spy with my little eye—”

“—More like pink eye.” The turtle with glasses giggled under his breath, trying to cover it as a cough as he saw his younger brother side-eyeing him. “Y'know, Dee…we could really go.” The orange banded teenager glared.

“Bet. Catch me outside. 3:30 on the dot.” The purple cladded mutant threatened. 

“Bet.” The youngest repeated. 

Donatello raised an unamused brow, “I already said 'bet' you phrase snatcher!” 

“You don’t own the word 'bet', you four-eyed freak!”

“God— 'BET' YOURSELVES!” Raphael snapped, taking a deep breath as he pinched the bridge of his snout, “I swear to literally anything and everything holy I am completely envying the fact that Leo doesn’t have to suffer in this freaking hell-hole with me.”

The second oldest leaned forward and tapped his Dad’s shoulder, “Speaking of which…how come Leo got to study with April while I—”

“We.” Donnie corrected swiftly. 

“—I had to stay with these two excuses for mutants, Dad?” Raphael continued, frowning deeper as his Dad became unresponsive and became completely entranced by the radio, “Dad? Dad? Dad? Daddy? Father? Dad— aaaaand you have your 'I’m locked in to this music' face…gotchu...” The tallest turtle huffed as he sat back down in the middle seat.

“As I was saying before I was rudely interrupted.” The youngest huffed, “I spy something…grey/gray.”

“Grey/Gray? Grey/Gray as in ashy? Ashy as in you?” Donnie smirked, his smirk turning to a smug grin as the orange banded teen glared back at him with a mix of disdain and pure disgust.  

“Donnie, I swear—”

“Is it the car seat?” Raph muttered, dying in complete humiliation about the fact that this was his onlysource of entertainment. 

Michelangelo shook his head, crossing his arms as he leaned back on the seat, “Nope. Try again.” 

“Is it…Dad’s fur?” The turtle with glasses guessed.

“Nooooooope!” The smallest mutant dragged out, sticking his tongue out at the second youngest causing Raph to just sigh, slumping in the chair further.

This car ride was going to be his 13 Reasons Why…

“Okay…seriously, though. Raph-Taff, what’s up?” Mikey asked carefully, looking over his older brother’s stiff and utterly overall unhappy demeanor. 

The second oldest just grunted, glancing away and his frown drooping as he locked eyes with his immediate younger brother, “You can tell us anything.” Donnie assured.

“Well…not everything. Almost everything. Semi-everything.” The genius clarified, “Buuuut you get the point…”

“No, no Ihi really really dohon’t...” The red banded teen grimaced. 

“What Egghead Humpty Dumpty is trying to say is that you can tell us what’s bothering you. You haven’t been your usual…let’s just say 'Sarcastic Sappy Self'.” The hazel eyed teen confirmed, biting back a chuckle as he saw his purple themed brother gasp in offense. 

“I just needa get out of here…” Raphael emphasized, rubbing his temples like he’s seen centuries worth of knowledge, “School was rough. School is annoying. Kids are annoying. Y'all are annoying— no offense.”

“None taken.” The two youngest said in sync.

“And I just need to distress…” Said the older turtle, going on his phone only to be met with a completely pitch black screen, “And my phone is dead. Yip dee doo da fuckin' day…” He cursed. 

Mikey rubbed his chin in thought, leaning on the inside door hand rest, “I have an idea for that, actually. Just trust me.”

“'I have an idea' and 'just trust me'…two words I never want to hear come out of your mouth ever again.” Donatello insisted almost immediatelty. 

“Shut up.” The smallest mutant exclaimed to his immediate older brother, inhaling and exhaling loudly before continuing, “Okay…so I spy with my little eye—“

“Seriously?” The elder mutant deadpanned. 

“Trust me, I said!!!” The younger shouted once more to try and get his point across, “I spy something…black.” 

“…Black?” The second youngest asked, tilting his head. 

“Black.” Mikey confirmed.

“Ohooo…black.” Donatello snapped his fingers, nodding as he relaxed in his seat. 

“Black!” Michelangelo beamed as Raphael looked around in confusion, wondering if his younger brother’s were going to elaborate on this whole 'black' nonsense or if they were just going to communicate via gibberish. 

The red banded teen scratched his head in confusion, “…What is happening…?”

The youngest gave his red cladded older brother a knowing look, causing the red cladded mutant in question to just simply sigh longly, “Right riiiight…trust. I got it…”

“Uhhh…” Raphael hummed, looking around the car for something…well, black; as his little brother’s so veeeeery clearly stated. 

The chocolate eyed teen raised an uncertain eye ridge, pointing at his own black sweatshirt that he was wearing. 

The purple and orange duo nodded, “See? Black!” Donnie grinned, poking his older brother’s sides and causing his older brother in question to shriek loudly and try to cover his middles, wiggling his way over more to Michelangelo. 

Whiiiiiich…was a first. 

“Yeah! Black!” The smallest mutant smirked cheeringly, prodding the other side of the black sweatshirt wearing boy, “You got it?”

“Ihihi gohohot ihihat I-Ihi gahat ihat!!” Raph said immiediatley, kicking his legs on the car floor as he pushed on the other two’s shoulder’s. “Ehhhhh…I don’t think you do…” The young genius teased lightly. 

“Dohon’t a-act smahart with me yohou l-lihittle shIHIT NO!! Mihikey nonononohoh!” He said as he saw Mikey wiggling his fingers near his neck, causing him to try and hide his face in Donnie’s shoulder, swatting the youngest away. 

“D'aww~! Hey, big bro! Need a hug~?” The scientist said innocently, wrapping the taller in a hug as the shortest of the three skittered and scratched the red banded mutant’s shell lightly; almost barelytouching it. 

The red banded mutant in question wheezed loudly, banging his fists on the car seat whilst his legs stomped up and down, “Wohohoah! Mr. Deflating Balloon Man— yohou okay?” Mikey teased, making sure to trace the patterns on his elder brother’s shell in a very veeeery mean manner. 

“Are you boys alright back there?” Splinter asked, getting out of his trance as the podcast soon and finally ended. 

“We’re fine!” Donnie beamed, wiggling his fingers into the crooks of the chocolate eyed teen’s neck right beside him, “Right, Raph?”

Raph squealed loudly with laughter, not answering.

Well…not answering in word form, perhaps.

The Father rolled his eyes fondly at his son's, looking away from the rearview mirror and focusing back on the road. 

“See!? He agrees.” The youngest beamed, “We’re perfectly fine and dandy, Dadio.”

“'Fine and dandy?'” Donnie repeated in amusement, causing the orange banded teen to almost laugh as loudly as Raph currently was.

Key word: Almost. 

“Fine and dandy.” Michelangelo confirmed, kneading his hot-headed brother’s hips and sides as the taller leaped like a drunk frog, “STAHAHOP!! HIC LEHEHET HIC HIC GOHOHOH!!!” 

“People are gonna think we’re beating you up or something by the way you’re squirming, bud.” The purple banded turtle joked, letting go of the taller teenager as the smaller teenager spidered his fingers all over his tummy.

“MIHIHIHIKEY!!!” The older wailed, pushing the other’s hands away as they slowly but surely stopped. 

The two youngest’s giggled, fist bumping each other for successfully turning Raph’s frown upside down. 

Splinter drove into the O’Neil’s driveway as Leo walked out of the front door to the apartment, waving his goodbyes to April as he got into the car. 

The eldest sat in the front seat, buckling up as their Dad drove to their home.

The blue banded teenager let out a small snort, looking towards the back to see his immediate younger brother’s face the exact same shade as his own bandana, “Jeeheez..whahat dihid I miss?” 

“I daha— hic don’t wanna tahalk ahabohout it…” Raph grumbled, his beet red blush deepening on his face as Donnie and Mikey snickered slightly, giving each other one last fist bump of victory. 

·̩̩̥͙＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚𝙵𝙸𝙽˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊·̩̩̥͙ 

(𝙿.𝚂.: 𝙸𝚏 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚎𝚗𝚓𝚘𝚢𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚏𝚒𝚌, 𝚙𝚕𝚎𝚊𝚜𝚎 𝚛𝚎𝚋𝚕𝚘𝚐!!!)

[puckpocketed]

Trying to absorb everything there is to know about ice hockey within the shortest amount of time possible really does strange things to a person. You come up against questions such as what do defensemen even do aside from skate backwards and do tummy time to protect their goalie? (Broadcasts aren’t the most informative) What the hell makes defensemen effective? What do the casters mean when they say “gap”? What are defensive details?

I love watching games back, I love trying to understand the game. I love hockey <3 But sometimes it’s nice to have help, and sometimes my favourite writers/podcasters collaborate!!

Here is part 1/3 of a podcast mini-series about defending, putting it here so I can have a copy of it in case it ever gets taken down + wanted to share with everyone some of my findings! (All episodes are available if anyone just wants to listen to them!) Transcript + edits done by me, all mistakes are mine.

Published 6th November 2024, Hockey IQ Podcast: Modern Defensemen (with Will Scouch) Ep #1 - by Hockey's Arsenal, hosted by Greg Revak (apple / spotify / youtube / bonus substack link)

part 2

[START Transcript]

Greg Revak: On the Hockey IQ Podcast today, we open up a new segment: we’re bringing back our favourite Will Scouch. If you’re on the Hockey IQ Newsletter you know his work by now.

Will, good morning. Earlier than most of us probably normally get up, but it’s a good day.

Will Scouch: Yeah, Greg, thanks for having me, it’s a lot of fun. Me and Greg go way back. We’re boys from years ago and I’m excited to hop on the show. I’m a keen listener, keen reader. 

[They exchange pleasantries]

GR: Beautiful. Well, today we’re gonna talk about three concepts. We’re gonna break it into three spots though, so everyone’s gotta come back next week and the week after that.

We’re gonna talk about defensemen, because everyone knows they’re important but how do we actually play the position well?

WS: Yeah, I mean, it’s a position that’s still, to me, being explored; both by, I’d say youth and junior coaches and pro coaches alike. There’s a lot of different ways that you can do it.

I mean, I watch a lot of hockey from around the world, all kinds of different levels. I’ve watched guys develop from 15 to 24 at this point, and just seeing how their games evolve and everything, and how effective various versions of this position is. And I think it’s a very interesting area that’s still being explored in a lot of really interesting ways, for sure.

GR: Yeah, I think back to David Savard; he comes out of the [QMJHL] as this high-flying offensive defenseman, and if we just forgot about the rest of his career and you just saw him today as this great shutdown, defense-first player, you’d be absolutely shocked.

I mean, you think about Rasmus Dahlin — kid didn’t even play full time defenseman until his actual draft year, he was still playing forward a ton. There’s so much to be explored here.

I feel like [to get a lot of] — for you NHL fans — to get a lot of value in the later rounds out of your defensemen, take those offensive players first, and we can find a lot of hidden gems later.

WS: Well, yeah. I mean, actually, I’ve said this a few times but your listeners probably don’t know, but I did a presentation during the pandemic at the Ottawa Hockey Analytics Conference about this topic exactly; how, when you look at the numbers and the defensive value of players in the NHL, I found that there were just as many in the top 50 defensive value of players in the NHL, there were just as many undrafted players as there were second round picks, second and third round picks combined.

So the draft isn’t really a great historical gauge on defensive ability. Offense is a different story from defensive players, which we could probably get into a little bit.

But I find, personally, that evaluating defensemen and projecting defense to the NHL is still really spotty and questionable. And I don’t know, in my line of work, watching a lot of defensemen, a lot of the ones who I think are some of the better defenders kind of go a little unheralded, because a lot of the time you don’t need to be particularly noticeable to be a good defenseman, but scouts are always looking for the noticeable guys.

So it’s a very interesting world and it’s a very interesting thing to pick through, but there’s definitely a lot of case studies you could dig into, and a lot of players you could look at as cases of, “Oh yeah, nobody was really paying a whole lot of attention to them!” or maybe people were thinking about them the wrong way. But if you think about things a little bit outside the box, you might be able to see something really interesting there.

GR: Yeah, so let's dive into why that may be. Classic example would be Lane Hutson, so maybe we'll pick on him a little bit, but I definitely want to talk about Rasmus Ristolainen, because he is an interesting case study that we wrote about on the newsletter.

So where I want to start with this is just modern day defending. How are defensemen defending today versus old times? A lot of times it was the big hit, separate the head from body. The puck’s somewhere, but let's separate the head from the body, and we’ll worry about the puck later — that is going bye-bye.

Every coach I talk to now, they prefer having the puck rather than having a head on a stake. So for me, it comes back to this old saying of, “position before possession.” We're gaining body positioning, we're not so much separating head from body, but puck from player.

All right, so we've got position before possession. It's super valuable in gaining the space that you need to have first whack in a puck or put the puck where you want it, or just push it to a teammate. Just having the idea of owning space and there's no better league at this and no league that values it more than the NHL. If you don't do this well in the NHL, sooner or later, you're going to find yourself out of a job making a heck of a lot less money in a league that probably no one really cares that much about. You want to be in the show, the big lights: you have to value this more than anything.

And this is actually the one thing that I noticed about Hunter McDonald. He's in the Flyers’ system now — he was an overager, but I was like, “This guy is unbelievable!” He’s a huge frame, you can’t miss him out there. He would just get the positioning before possession, and I was like, “Okay, that’s interesting, let me watch him further.”

And I feel like he’s going to be one of those bottom of the lineup guys who, unlikely, made it out of being an overager in the [United States Hockey League], going to college for a few years, but has those little details of a defenseman that you see in modern day play, which is positioning overall, which is an NHL trait to the nth degree.

WS: No, I know. I think I would definitely agree. Those are the players that are always really, really fascinating to me because you look at a guy like Hunter McDonald and the production just isn't amazing. But it doesn't — to me, when you look at defensemen, it almost doesn't really matter. That's kind of a very secondary-slash-bonus style of thing that comes with a player.

I see a lot of defenders every year and it seems like a thing where a lot of them, maybe at the lower levels, there is a little bit more of that “separate the head from the body”-type of player. And I think there are NHL scouts who still gravitate towards those guys but, at the end of the day when it all comes out in the wash, it's a lot of the time the guys that are kind of, I hate to say ”boring”, but just very effective, and just they're always in a good position.

The guy I always reference as a young defenseman who, I think, is just a really, really high-end defensive guy is Kaiden Guhle in Montreal. We're going to talk a little bit about Lane Hutson in a second, but Kaiden Guhle is a guy who, when he was in the junior level, just played such a great, balanced style of defense.

He was a good skater, but he had really good length. He was a guy who didn't just lay the body every single time, but he certainly could if he needed to. It was about his lateral mobility, it was about tracking rushes, keeping inside the dot lines, and preventing chances from inside and leading with his stick, but then finishing with the body if he had the opportunity or the need to do so. And he seemed to have a really good read of just how to do his job really, really well.

And so that's been a lesson for me for sure. He was a really interesting case study a few years ago, and he's become a pretty solid NHL defenseman. I mean, on a team this year that’s kind of struggling defensively I think he’s been one of the brighter spots on that defense group there, [he’s] doing a pretty good job at least suppressing chances against.

GR: I don’t watch as much as you do, prospects, but Guhle I did catch. For me, the play style wasn’t very good. He had elements of it, you could see the flashes, but he was just really brash. His decision making and his reads were quite poor. But the tools were there, and it was like, “Can he adjust?” Which I think he’s done a phenomenal job [of], and I think Montreal is probably the perfect place for him to develop a lot of that.

So I think you're spot on like, “Okay, how does he actually apply?“ Having assets is one thing, having the tools is one thing, but how do we properly apply those assets, those tools that you have in a good way? So I think another piece, for me, is if you do have the speed, is just making sure that you're controlling speed and then you're also keeping small gaps.

And just knowing with my high school team that no one knows what a gap is, let's define that real quick, which is: the difference in space between the forwards and the defensemen. So the space in between, “How much space are you [allowing]?” in hockey term slang. It's underneath you versus on the other side, which is above you or behind you. So, “How much space, what's that gap between D and O?”

(Editor’s note: He says O instead of F here, I assume because the person attacking isn’t always a forward. As in, “How much space between the defenseman and offenceman?”)

So you got the speed, shrink that gap as much as possible. Don't give them the space to operate or work in, or, I even call it the space to think, which [it often becomes] for forwards, especially unsophisticated ones.

WS: Yeah, I mean, that's really the bread and butter of a lot of the position. It's so much of this, like you said, gap control. I actually just did a bit of video work for a really high end player, [an] NHL draft pick playing in Sweden this year, who is producing really well.

But in terms of the defending side of the game, he's not the most incredible skater you've ever seen, he's not the biggest guy in the world. And a big thing that I noticed, that even at the professional level that was kind of a bit of a work in progress, was that gap management. Especially because the footwork wasn't amazing, [he was] keeping his feet a little too stationary, gliding backwards and sort of allowing that gap.

And when you watch the NHL that's the point of the whole exercise, watching the NHL and how they play. Forwards are fast and they're smart, largely. The guys who can score are the guys who know how to get through soft defensive pressure, the guys who know how to find lanes and cross up defensemen, and if you don't have the footwork or the mobility or the reach or all of it — all of the above — to track all that and manage it, then it's going to be a lot tougher to do your job.

But the interesting thing, though, is that there's a lot of different ways that you can get defensive jobs done. That's always been very interesting to me; seeing how different players approach the position in different ways and seeing the efficacy of that come out in the wash, and how their offense balances with their defensive ability. It's a very interesting world to dig into, for sure.

GR: Yeah, I think you've got a rabbit hole there. You just kind of opened up around defensive skating. What do clean feet look like? What does defensive posture look like, that actually allows you to have that kind of mobility?

So we'll leave that for another day. If anyone wants to go check it out on the Hockey IQ Newsletter, they can do so. Just look up defenseman skating development. We've got two good pieces there talking about building and maintaining defensive posture and keeping clean feet, which — actually massive base for anyone.

It allows you to have the proper gap that allows you to kill plays early, and ultimately, it's a lot about just controlling speed. You don't want McDavid building up to full speed. You don't want MacKinnon building up to full speed. You don't want anyone coming up to you at full speed. It's very hard to maintain that kind of speed going backwards [that we] even generate in the first place. 

How do you kill it early? How do you get a hand on someone? Or, my favorite example is just proper pivoting. A guy dumps a puck on you, how are you going back? What does that pivot look like?

I'll let you open that up because at the NHL it's almost too good, where you can't see what a bad example looks like, but you can see it's everywhere.

WS: Yeah, I mean, it's a make or break skill in the NHL. It's where a lot of defensemen die. I mean, it's a cliche at this point to talk about pucks in deep, to talk about [getting] pucks deep in the offensive zone, get below the goal line, dump and chase. People make fun of dump-and-chase kind of stuff. But if your team is built to do it, you can do it.

You can take advantage of defensemen in the NHL who just don't have the speed or the agility or the skating ability that some of your forwards might have. It is a lot easier to skate forwards than it is to skate backwards. That's just, you know, anecdotal, but also pretty factual — you're naturally going forwards.

I think an interesting trend that you're seeing a little bit more of [is] what they would call ‘scooting’. You're the coach; I don't know if that's exactly what the terminology would be, but [it’s getting] your defensemen in the neutral zone, kind of pinching a little bit more and having them skate forwards, tracking play towards the boards.

So it's not necessarily that they're doing their backwards crossovers, it's not necessarily that they're entirely skating backwards, but you see guys who are really talented skaters or do have a lot of quickness driving play to the boards in a more aggressive way than having the play in front of them. It's about them sort of tracking that play laterally, which is an interesting thing I think you're seeing more of now.

I think there are definitely coaches and systems that love to play their defensemen more that way, and the weak side defense can sort of fill between the dot lines for them and sort of leave the weaker side of the ice a little bit more open. That's kind of what I mean. There's a lot of different ways to achieve these kinds of goals, and I think you're seeing a lot of different things popping up to adapt to this. 

In situations where you have a dump and chase or something like that, or just getting pucks in deep or whatever you say, when you have a defenseman who has trouble with their footwork and turning around… Trust me, I'm a defenseman, when I play hockey, I strap on the skates — I play defense myself and that's where I fall apart, when I do fall apart. Which is often. But definitely, when play turns around and I’ve got to change directions or change my area of flow, it can be tricky. And in the NHL, I can only imagine how tricky it can be there. 

GR: Yeah. I mean, a good pivot you're looking at three steps total, like boom-boom-bam and you're there. You watch an amateur game and it could be like five, six, seven, eight chops before [they] finally get going and [it’s] looking like a proper forward stride again. [Or just] getting into a good defensive posture and positioning. It's total scramble mode.

A big one for me, too, is just the direction that you pivot. Do you wait for that offensive player to commit to their lane? It's just a great defensive habit in general, letting the offenceman make the first move. If you're making the first move, you're the one showing your cards. It's kind of like showing your cards first in Poker.

Let them make the decision and then you can pivot into them. Now you can get that position before possession, or at least get a chip on them, slow them down. You can either make it easier for yourself or your partner. So one, there's the clean footwork on the pivot, and two is making sure that we're controlling the speed and we're pivoting properly in the direction that we want to pivot.

There's a ton of times where I see, especially the lower levels, players coming up, they're in a bad spot, they're skating forward, defenseman skating backwards and they just chip it off the boards. And the defenseman is like a dog just following the puck and it ends up in the middle of the ice where the forward actually went. Again, the NHL is the best at this so it's really hard to see bad examples of pivoting into and controlling the space of the opponent.

WS: Yeah. I do a lot of work outside the NHL, and the biggest thing I notice is not necessarily the number of chops it takes, but the amount of time. You can see guys taking two seconds, maybe more, to get themselves turned around, tracking pucks below the goal line.

To me hockey is a game of milliseconds a lot of the time, right? I was working with someone years ago who really shared the idea with me that, in the NHL, generally goals are not scored if you have the puck on your stick for more than either half a second or a second.

I can't remember off the top of my head, but it's so fast in terms of; when you score goals in the NHL, it's when you touch the puck for a very short amount of time in the offensive zone and get a puck on net. And so, if you have guys who take too long — and “too long” might not be very long… If the difference is relatively short at the time you're making those pivots or those changes, but the [opponent has] got a lot more speed than you and you're [taking more] time to then start generating that speed to match the opponent, you're in trouble.

And in my opinion, I think that you want your defensemen to be more assertive. I always fall back on the strategy of; make them make a decision, make them commit. That might imply that you do the committing first, but that's where the importance of footwork and tactics come into question. 

You have to have strong support, whether it's from backchecking forwards or your partner. You want to be able to adapt to quick players who might fake one way, go another, and be able to use your stick or use your feet or both to be a factor regardless of what happens. 

It's very interesting to watch defensemen play. I find it really, really interesting to see the different approaches of different players and especially how they evolve and get into the NHL.

But yeah, I mean, [it’s so pivotal], the skating ability; defensemen who can skate, it unlocks so many doors for their career. If you're an elite level skating defenseman, it just unlocks so many doors that interest me. If you're not, and if that's not a strength of your game, then it can be a big struggle, especially against faster opponents. Even if you're big and physical and pretty good throwing the body or whatever, there's a lot more of the game in the NHL these days. Very, very interesting stuff. 

GR: I think that's actually the perfect segue into someone who, early in his career, threw the body too much and sold out too much on plays that he probably shouldn't: Rasmus Ristolainen.

Great case study, great case study from when [John Tortorella] started working with him to where he is now. Will, I'll send in the link here from the Hockey IQ newsletter so we can track a little bit better with each other. 

I found him to be a fascinating player. High draft pick, 8th overall in 2013. Really pretty, smooth skating, big body — has all of the tools that you would traditionally say, “Yep, that checks [out].” And then you looked at his stat profile and it was just abysmal. His micro stats were terrible. I think the only thing he was good at was D-Zone Retrievals, which, being able to take contact, it was kind of an easy thing for him.

WS: Yeah. I remember watching Ristolainen when he was in junior hockey, because that was the earliest years of me being kind of curious about that side of the game, and I did not really recall that being a premier area of his game.

I remember him being big, but pretty mobile, and has some skill to play around with. He did have a bit of a physical edge to him, but it feels like it was that tail end of an era in the NHL where those big, mean, physical guys were kind of in vogue, and people were kind of curious and needing guys like that. And I guess that's what Buffalo drafted him to be.

I remember being very surprised that he was in the NHL the year he was drafted. It just did not look like it was really working out there. And Buffalo just seems to have been not a great fit for him, they kind of turned him into something that he wasn't, but I do think that he's turned into some sort of serviceable defenseman.

But he, to me, is a great example of one that I always look back on and go, “Man, what if?” Like, what if things went a little bit differently for him? Because there was good stuff there, it's just I feel like the development was focused in the wrong areas.

To me, 65% of the work [is] scouting, and developing — the easy part is drafting good players, the hard part is developing them and bringing them along into being good NHL players.

So to me, if you can find the most amount of things that get in the way of that process being easy, then you're doing a really good job. And with Ristolainen, I feel like in his case they inserted more things to make that journey more difficult and sort of turned him into something that he wasn't, which is always a scary thing for me to think about doing to a player.

But it's not over for him, obviously. He figured it out. Obviously, Tortorella found something for him to do, and he has shown a little bit better. But yeah, he's always been a what-if guy for me.

GR: I always liked how Tortorella, after the 2022-2023 season, was doing his media stuff and he was like “Yeah, he's our most improved player.” You're a guy who's getting paid big bucks — I think he was making five million plus that year, still is, probably — and even him, he was like, “I was just bad the first half. And then around Christmas break, I started getting going. The second half was much better.”

Basically, the first half, they were just trying to rebuild his defensive game, and this is true for anything. Zach Benson's another good example of this. If you can't play defense in the NHL, you're going to be out quick. Benson can play defense despite being — I think they list them at five foot 10, but there's no way.

WS: Yeah, no, no. I know. He's a little guy, but he's another great example of a player where I, in my work, I do not care how big you are. I just care about how you play. Even in the NHL. And I feel like Benson's a really, really good example of that; a guy who, just forechecking alone is a really… The easiest way to defend is if he can cause turnovers in the opposing team's offensive zone, a guy like Zach Benson does that extremely well.

And if he needs to track guys through the neutral zone and backcheck, he'll do it, and he does it really well, and he does it at a speed that I found to be projectable to the NHL. And again, that's another one where I was a little surprised to see him in the NHL so fast, but he didn't really look out of place there.

He's had a bit of a slow start this season, but just a really, really talented player, and one where you kind of do look at and go, “Yeah, these smaller guys can definitely defend.” They just — the expectations are a little bit higher, and maybe for good reason, but he checks all the boxes for sure.

GR: Yeah. So for Rasmus (Ristolainen), there's two big things that, when I dug into this, that Torts was working at. At this point, I was so intrigued [that] I was tracking every single time Torts spoke and Rasmus spoke to the media. So I was like, “I wonder what they're actually doing?” Which, Torts can be tight-lipped, but he gives it away if you follow long enough.

The big one was just inside, like too much, he was finding himself, Rasmus was finding himself on the outside. So whether that be outside the dots, outside on bad ice, for whatever reason, or just finding yourself outside, like losing defensive side positioning to the offensive player.

If you finish contact, but now you're on the wall and your player's got to step to the net, that's trouble. There's a great, great clip the other night featuring, I think it was (Aliaksei) Protas [who] ended up scoring the goal and K’Andre Miller of the New York Islanders. So Caps — Rangers, not Islanders — Rangers… Where [Miller] went in soft, didn't really take positioning, got beat back to net, and Protas just put out a stick and just tapped it in, Igor Shesterkin never had a chance.

A similar idea of; okay, good, maybe you got some contact, you tried to make the stop, but you still need to maintain defensive side positioning. You still need to finish on the inside. So if you're doing contact, you can't overreach.

You just can't do that. You have to stay in good positioning.

And the second piece was just, finishing with contact to get stops, like stopping movement. Offensive play is a lot about movement, and defensive play is about stopping movement, AKA getting stops. So he would maybe make a play, or get a poke check, but the puck was still moving and could be easily on the other team's stick. 

So how do you make sure you're always staying in good positioning? Staying on the inside, as Torts put it. Or the other piece, which is getting stops, or finishing with contact — but smartly, not chasing the contact for contact’s sake? Being tactful in your play.

I feel like Risto really just learned how to play defense smartly. He was actually thinking and being intentional about what he was doing, rather than like, “I see a puck and a player, I'm going to go end that!” And then, boom, in the big scheme of things, it’s a net negative. Even though at the moment, it may have, especially to him — otherwise he wouldn't make the play — seemed like a positive, really it was a negative for the team.

WS: Well, that's the interesting thing too, going back to talking about junior players and the context in the draft and how defensive players might go a little bit underreported or undervalued in a sense.

I see this all the time, especially with North American defensemen, especially with Canadian ones, but there are definitely players who everybody talks about how good they are defensively, everybody talks about how solid they are. They're big, they're physical, they're mean, blah, blah, blah. But then when you watch things in detail, it's this sort of Ristolainen-style thing. You're talking about K’Andre Miller where it's like, they're along the boards, they're doing the thing along the boards, but they're losing.

They're allowing guys to get low on them, get through them, and even in the junior level, right? What good is it if you're trying to pin a guy against the boards and they give you a little shove, crouch down a little bit, chip the puck three feet out from you, you don't adapt to that, they get three feet of space on you, throw it out in front of the net, and boom, you got yourself a scoring chance, right? I see that all the time.

It's the focus on the body and not focus on the turnover, turning that possession back over, that really seems to be a tough lesson for a lot of defensemen to get over. I find that a lot of defensemen from the age of 18 to 23, in the grand scheme of things, their style of play doesn't drastically shift all that often.

And so, when I see things like that happening, I'm going, okay, I gotta either hope that this guy puts in the time in the gym and becomes, just, a strength nut, and pins that guy to the boards so they can't do anything, or they figure out a way to get into those situations, take a step back, chip at the puck. Really battle for the puck rather than focus on the guy.

Because I've seen it so many times with guys who are bigger and more physical, they apply it in a way where I feel like coaches will go, “Wow, look at you go, you're playing hard, you're playing the thing!” But then they escape, this opponent might escape, and create a little bit of space for themselves. And again, this is a game of inches, it's a game of a couple of feet, and every inch matters.

So in some cases, yeah, you get those situations where guys like Ristolainen, yeah, you're doing the thing, people clip the hits, people clip the physical play, but then five seconds later, someone's got some space on you and they generate a scoring chance. And so what do you really value, right? Personally, fewer scoring chances would be ideal.

GR: I love it. Last piece to wrap this up, because I think it'll go well into our next piece, which is point play. Shorting the zone.

I was able to find some phenomenal clips and do some photos of this for the newsletter. But the concept of; if you're watching a game in the NHL, if you can see all five of the people trying to break the puck out, low in the zone… A lot of it, you think about the NHL today, is like a swarm. We're going to do close support. I'm going to try to crowd the puck out.

A good way to respond to that is to short the zone, which basically means your defensemen, instead of hanging out at the blue line, are going to go into the offensive zone. And they're going to start with small gaps, they're going to be [at the] top of the circles, if not a little bit lower.

Tortorella is another big fan of this, so you can see it with the Flyers a lot, too. I would say [Sheldon] Keefe is another example of a coach who does this a ton. So you saw a lot in Toronto, now you'll see a lot more in New Jersey, which is  the perfect d-core to make all of this work. So I think Devils are going to be good for — that's going to be a great fit.

But just the idea of crowding in the space, setting small gaps, so when you do start defending, you can either cut a play off early — it's an easy pinch there if you don't have to go very far — you can cut it off. Or, 2; create a turnover in a much better spot than what is in your own zone. Why not make it in the o-zone? So from a positioning standpoint, phenomenal place to start, good way to kill plays early.

Before they can get going, before the team can build speed, and just being able to put yourself in a good spot to take advantage both from a defensive standpoint, but offensive standpoint.

WS: Yeah, I love when I see this being deployed. I think, again, I'm a geek, like I'm a math guy, and even just thinking about the numbers here, it makes such a difference if you think about it.

The offensive zone from blue line to goal line is 64 feet. So you're looking at the difference between a guy standing at the blue line being maybe 75 feet from the net or at the top of the face-off circle where you might be 20 feet closer, maybe 20, 25 feet closer. So you're cutting down the time at which you give the defense to adapt, the goaltender to adapt. You're cutting that time down by a third-ish, a quarter to a third. I'm ballparking here, but that automatically is just based on where you are on the ice.

If you can compress the offensive zone on your opponent, you're laughing. The second thing I wanted to mention here is this is, again, why skating ability and quickness and speed are so important to me. Because it is objectively a better position to be in when you're in that position — closer to the top of the face-off circles for your defensemen.

But if you do have a situation where the opponent has possession of the puck you have to get set up, you have to cover that gap, you have to cover for yourself, or you have to have some sort of system in place where a winger can cover for you if you're caught in the offensive zone. Ideally, you have your defensemen who can wheel up, get some speed going, get positioned well to counter that attack, and have a system that can swarm whoever has that puck in the offensive zone.

I think it's a really interesting trend for sure. It's a simple little thing, it's a concept that you see definitely a lot more now than you used to, but I'm all about it. It just makes sense mathematically, and it plays into exactly the styles of player that I always look for: guys who do pinch a little bit more aggressively, but have the mobility and the skating ability to cover for themselves.

I would rather have a player who tries something creative, or tries some sort of play that could lead to a high scoring chance, but may relinquish some space on the ice, but has the ability to cover for themselves.

And I can at least as a coach, rely on them — not that I'm a coach — but rely on them to cover for themselves. To go, okay, I can rely on them to try these things, because I know that if it doesn't maybe go their way, which happens in hockey all the time, I'm not going to be upset at this player, but I know that I want them to backcheck, cover for it, because I know they're capable of it.

I think that that's sort of the trade off that you have to live with, but I'm totally cool with it.

GR: All right, so we're going to call this end of the day on some modern day defending, and we'll pick up on point play in episode two.

[END Transcript.]

part 2 <- convenient link at the bottom <3

[cloveroctobers]

OCTOBER PROMPTS 🦇 — 11. Evan “Buck” Buckley

A/N: my man, my man, my man!! Hopefully we get to see you soon and I can actually get the nerve to finish season six—I only have maybe 4 episodes left? Then I’ll dive into 9-1-1 lone star while we wait. Regardless I thought this would be funny and a little creepy to write so here we are! Enjoy 😉

Synopsis: Buck loves the new house you live in together and although you’re not crazy about it…you decide to pull a prank on your boyfriend to liven up the place that perhaps leads to you opening doors for a uninvited guest?

PROMPTS ARE FROM HERE & HERE & I’m using: A buys a crappy sound machine and plants it in the house. While it plays ghost noises and spooky sounds, A hopes they can convince B that the place is haunted. + “Come on, if there was ever a time for me to be superstitious it’s definitely now.”

*GIF BELONGS TO: @911edit

<- read my previous anthology prompt here.

꩜⌖ㄨ࿔⚡︎꩜⌖ㄨ࿔⚡︎꩜⌖ㄨ࿔⚡︎꩜⌖ㄨ࿔⚡︎꩜⌖ㄨ࿔⚡︎ ꩜

“BABE!” Buck yelled into your ear after pulling the headphone away.

You flinch as you stand up straight from the kitchen island and away from your overnight oats, “Yes?” You press with raised brows.

Buck waves his hands around, “you don’t hear that?”

“Hear what?” You question, pausing the podcast and resting your headphones to lay around your neck, “I didn’t even know you were home.”

Buck immediately frowns, “don’t tell me that. That means anybody could be hiding in here and you wouldn’t even know because of those stupid things.”

“You bought them for me.”

“Yeah to use at the gym and keep those meathead douchebags away while I’m not around.” Buck explained which made you smirk with a roll of your eyes.

“Listen,” Buck said again as you moved around the modern kitchen (that you hated) to place the now empty bowl and spoon into the sink.

Placing a hand on your hip you glance around the new open floor plan home that you and Buck moved into together. The modern contemporary home was such a contrast from the outside to the inside with its exterior being too boxy for your liking but you enjoyed the black exterior and the courtyard and pool. The inside was much lighter, from white to cream walls, along with the high ceilings which made the home feel bigger and instantly sold Buck who believed this would be your forever home.

You on the other hand were not convinced but nobody could ever say you weren’t open to trying new experiences. It’s only been four months settling in and there were still some things you wanted to change like: mainly the wall colors but Buck was convinced furniture and decor could replace that urge.

Sighing you say, “I don’t hear anything Ev,” you tap the sink on, “maybe you should lay down? Was it a rough day?”

“No, it was a breeze.” Buck fanned his hand along before resting them both flat against the White Island counter, “…maybe it’s a bird or something?”

“Well what exactly did it sound like?”

“Like scratching. Kinda like Pearla when she tries to sneak into our room at night,” Buck answers before glancing around, “matter of fact, where is she?”

“At the groomers. She won’t be ready until after four,” you inform Buck of the whereabouts of your old English sheepdog.

Buck dips his head, looking at his watch, “it’s 3:42.”

“Shoot! time does really get away from me,” you widen your eyes as you quickly finish washing the dishes before spinning around to shove it into the dishwasher.

Buck nods his head, “I’ll drive.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah,” Buck shrugs his shoulders, “it’s a nice crisp day and…I don’t want you having any accidents considering your hearing isn’t the best right now.” He playfully lifts the headphones from your neck to place down while you roll your eyes again.

You lean towards him smug, “ah, I see what this is…you’re scared to stay here by yourself because of this imaginary noise you’re hearing.”

“I’m not! And i don’t think it’s in my head.” Buck defended while you went over to the couch to shove your hoodie back over your gym attire.

“Uh huh,” you say as Buck scoffs ready to plead his case as you lock up the home behind you.

The next time Buck hears the noise is around 3am when you’re both tucked away at the back of the home in bed. It’s not a pleasant sound as his eyes snap open to the darkness of the room, the moaning and creaking almost sounds like a mixture of a whale and the cracking of a ship that meets the bottom of the ocean. Buck knows he should stop clicking on random things on YouTube before bed that leads him down a deep dive but this isn’t the first time he’s hearing that groaning sound.

It was brief before on his day off while you were at work and he was lounging on the couch watching some twisted documentary about Russ McKamey. Buck tried to brush it off as something that was on screen since it stopped when he paused the television but he couldn’t hear it while watching again. Was this truly in his head? He started to think but here he was— technically—the third time hearing the noise for much longer.

When he peaks over at you with your back to him, he lightly grips your shoulder and leans over to see that you’re still fast asleep and sits up in bed. By the edge of the bed, he spots Pearla on the floor with her fluffy ears perked up and Buck nods his head.

“You hear it too, girl? I know I’m not going crazy!” Buck whisper-yells to the dog who’s definitely more alert than you are.

Buck’s crawling out of bed with Pearla at his ankles, taking a deep inhale he opens the bedroom door to peak down the left of the hallway towards the front of the new home and only sees darkness. Pausing for a moment he listens for the noise again but the home is eerily quiet.

Buck stands there for at least two minutes before he considers closing the door but the creaking starts up again, sending Pearla flying out of the room barking as she tries to locate the noise first.

“Pearla!” Buck yells for the dog who disappears down the hallway and out of sight.

He blows a whistle with his fingers to get her attention, stepping into the hallway now but Pearla is nowhere to be seen. When he glances over his shoulder back in your direction, you’re still in fact sound asleep. Usually you’re the light sleeper out of the pair but somehow in this early morning, you’re having a grand time in dreamland.

Reaching for the doorknob, Buck slowly pulls the door closed with a soft click and begins taking the path to the main areas of the home. Pass the three bedrooms and the half bath on the left, Buck scans the dining room, kitchen, and living room to find it all empty. Confusion is written all over Buck’s face as he stands in the center of the home, hands on his hips as he’s searching but…for what?

The groaning picks up again just as a touch goes to his hips. Buck yelps, whipping around to face you who’s actually holding their composure. Buck holds onto his chest ready to let out a exhale but the look you cast behind your shoulder then back to meet Buck’s island water eyes you say, “the house is haunted.”

“What?” Buck let’s out a full exhale, trying to calm his heart rate.

You swallow, hands still holding onto Buck’s hips, “I hear it too.”

He tightens his jaw, ears picking up on the noise but now it’s the loudest it’s ever been, making you grip your very sensitive ears.

“Wait here,” Buck suggests, hands flexing as he picks up a fire poker that was left leaning against the industrial bookcase from his old apartment, “it sounds like it’s coming from the laundry room.”

You huff, feet slapping against the floor as you latch right onto the back of his shirt, “hell no! You’re not leaving me behind in this sketchy house.”

“Ohhh,” Buck sing songs, “now it’s sketchy but when I said it’s been weird lately you tell me I need a nap.”

You hiss, “be quiet, we’re supposed to be stealthy when sneaking up on a ghost.”

“I wasn’t aware that you had experience with the paranormal.” Buck looks back at you with a frown before slowly leading the way back towards the bedrooms.

“I’ve seen ghost whisperer you know?”

“…am i supposed to know what that is?”

“It’s a show Maddie and I are currently binge watching, now ssh!” Your attempt to silence the man was met but Buck used this silence to steady his heartbeat.

If this house was truly haunted then it was going to be hard to explain this to the insurance company when he’s done tearing up the place.

And we all know Buck’s not afraid of some action. His arm goes out to shield you as you both slide up against the wall opposite of the door that leads into the small laundry room. Buck couldn’t hear Pearla’s barking anymore and she did go in the opposite direction so he hoped whatever this is, didn’t harm your beloved dog.

“On my count,” Buck signals peering at you shortly to make sure you understood where he was going with this, “three…two…”

Of course he didn’t say “one” as he pushed the door back, revealing the very normal looking laundry room. Everything appeared in tack as Buck stepped into the room, hand reaching out to shove some clothes on the rack aside and then checking the cabinets above the washer and dryer.

“Huh,” Buck hummed before pulling the appliances open to find them both empty, “nothing.”

When he turns to face you, you’re hugging yourself but your brows are still furrowed in disbelief. He reaches to flick the light off and steps towards you to exit the room but a screeching noise picks up yet again. Instead of it sounding like it’s in the laundry room, it’s appears as if it’s coming from back towards the front of the home.

“No freaking way!” Buck yells, bringing the fire poker up like a bat as he runs down the hallway.

You scream at his back, “stop running towards danger you idiot!”

Buck ignores you, following the sound right to the pantry door, which is closed shut. He wastes no time, pulling the door back to reveal a gray and white Pearla fleeing from the room with a whine. Buck almost recoils at how loud the sound is coming from the pantry but steps in anyway, looking around the spacious storage room until the door shuts right behind him.

He tries the knob but to no avail, he turns back to the dark room, dropping down into a push up motion to check underneath the shelves. The thirty year old was just waiting to see something further unusual but got back to his feet just to be shoved towards the shelves.

Buck steadies his hands out in front of himself, catching himself against the shelves but not without the goods crashing onto the floor. He spins back around as the cracking noise picks up, almost making his teeth ache at the sound but that doesn’t stop him from swinging the fire poker wildly in the air. He’s not sure when the poker breaks one of the shelves but he spots a flash of red way at the top behind a acrylic container.

Panting Buck begins latching and crawling up on the shelves and swipes a hand across the top shelf, knocking the contents onto the floor to spot some sort of machine that suddenly shoots a weak steam of fog his way, followed by the creaking sound. Buck presses on top of it which sends out that screeching sound that makes Buck slip at the upsetting noise.

He’s shouting your name once he aims his footing right, landing back on it but not without the machine slipping right towards his face and knocking Buck off balance.

“I’m just glad it’s not broken,” you say for what felt like the thirteenth time as you hold the door open; ten am later that morning, leading your boyfriend back into your shared home that Buck secretly didn’t want to come back to.

The bandage on his bruised and cut up nose was prominent but Buck still sported a small smile on his face. “See what happens when you try to prank me. Now you have to tell everyone that I did in fact fight a ghost.”

The pantry door was jammed by the time you got to Buck, hearing him calling your name and Pearla barking for your attention. It wasn’t something it commonly did but you just deemed it as your anxiety getting the best of you, struggling to get it open. You were in on a bet with Chimney and Hen since Eddie (surprisingly) and Bobby didn’t want to participate—that you could convince Buck that your new home was haunted.

However you weren’t expecting for him to go investigating and get smacked in the face with the crap ghost machine you purchased off eBay. You were just happy that you weren’t the cause of Buck almost breaking his nose (you didn’t intend for the machine to slide off the shelf) but everything else you’ll take responsibility for.

“Sit,” you ordered Buck by his arms who laughed at you going into your nurturing role, “you know they’ll never believe that right?”

Buck kicks his feet up along the couch with a sigh, “but it could be a plot twist x2 with there actually being some haunted vibes going on. I mean…you did set me up.”

You pout as stood in the kitchen, “it was supposed to be all in good fun but then you had to go Rambo—being Buck. Did I mention how sorry I am?”

Buck laughs, “it’s just a scratch,” as Pearla jumps up beside him to rest her head in his lap, “it’ll heal and I can take a joke but just know…you did start a prank war for the rest of this fall season. You have no idea what you just unleashed.”

You didn’t like how Buck was rubbing his hands together in wicked joy but you’ll learn to deal with it.

“Yeah that’s what Maddie said,” you mumbled as you pulled open the fridge, “so before you come up with those ideas…I can make you your favorite breakfast.”

Buck grins, “that’ll be nice but I’d prefer a cuddle first.”

“Is your head hurting?”

Buck lolls his head, “I told you babe, I feel fine. Now get over here.”

You make a cross motion as you cautiously step over to Buck who shakes his head at you with a grin. Once you’re close enough, he reaches for your sweatshirt to yank you to his other side since Pearla made her claim on his left.

“Now that I know I’m not going crazy anymore, I can really enjoy this house with my two favorite people.” Buck curls a arm around you and rests the other along the back of the couch after patting Pearla’s head.

Resting your head against Buck’s chest you sink into the comfort each other. However that doesn’t last long with the sound of glass shattering from the mirror that once hung on the wall above the wooden chest that contained the record player on top of it.

The silence is almost deafening now as the both of you watch the pieces of the mirror decorate the floor.

Buck says, “Come on, if there was ever a time to be superstitious it’s definitely now.”

You knew a broken mirror was not a good sign and Buck started to feel like it wasn’t really all in his head as the flashes of what happened earlier this morning played back in his head. It couldn’t just be the trash machine you bought whenever and Buck really wasn’t that clumsy to trip over his feet so what gives?

Spookiness can be fun but Buck could always sense when things didn’t exactly feel right anymore? He believed in the full moon, mercury in retrograde and he strongly believed in when things weren’t just a good scare.

“So you agree, we should go house hunting?”

Again? Buck hated the process when he was on his own but with you it felt nice, like there was a definite future to look forward to.

“Yeah,” Buck states, “I think I’m done ghost hunting for awhile.”

“Hell yeah you are.” You respond, keeping your eyes towards the area just in case you saw something else that didn’t sit right with you; while reaching for your phone.

The both of you didn’t bother to debate over where you would be escaping to for the night as you searched your contacts for your realtor and fast.

꩜��ㄨ࿔⚡︎꩜⌖ㄨ࿔⚡︎꩜⌖ㄨ࿔⚡︎꩜⌖ㄨ࿔⚡︎꩜⌖ㄨ࿔⚡︎ ꩜

Continue with my fall anthology prompts here.

[babydollmarauders]

COMFORT — LUKE HUGHES

summary: in which Luke’s girlfriend, y/n (dolly), finds out her comfort person and close friend, Ryan Graves, is going to Pittsburgh

luke’s gf au!

my bottom lip quivers, tears immediately welling in my eyes as the realization sets in.

“w-what?” my voice trembles, the phone shaking in my grip, the unshed tears making the facetime appear blurry.

“i’m sorry, y/n, i really am.” Ryan tells me solemnly, “but this is what’s right for me and my career right now. you understand that, right?”

“mhm.” i hum, blinking past the tears and nodding my head, “no— yeah, i understand. i get it.”

Ryan heaves out a sigh, his eyes soft as he begins speaking again.

“i really enjoyed spending time with you and i’m still so honored that you warmed up to me the way that you did. and this doesn’t mean our friendship is over! you’re still more than welcome to call me when you need someone to talk to, and we’ll see each other when the Penguins and Devils play each other!”

i nod again at his words, trying my hardest to let them relieve my sadness and bring joy to me, but it all still hurts a bit too much for me to see the bright side just yet.

“i just wanted you to hear it directly from me first, Dolly.” he explains, “i don’t want you finding out when the rest of the public finds out. you deserved to be be told beforehand.”

“i’m gonna miss you.” my words are choked, spoken between sniffles, and i quickly rub at my nose with the sleeve of my hoodie.

“i’m gonna miss you too.” he frowns, “and you better tell Bahl that he needs to step up and become your club bodyguard now! i’d say Dougie but…”

i let out a huff of laughter before i finish the sentence with him, “he looks too nice.”

Ryan grins at my slight smile.

“exactly.” he beams. “look, i gotta go. i gotta go in and sign the contract now. but, i’ll talk to you later, okay?”

“okay.” i nod, bidding him a goodbye before he hangs up.

left in the silence, my heart aches.

i didn’t really think of the possibility of Ryan leaving the Devils.

i guess in my head, i always thought of him as a Devil. i never thought about the chance of him becoming anything else.

i crawl up on Luke and i’s bed, burrowing myself in a mountain of blankets and pillows; curling up on my side and just staring ahead at the wall.

Ryan was, dare i say, the person on the team that i was closest to beside my boyfriend and his brother.

ever since we met, early in the season when i had visited Jack, and i had felt the comforting energy that he gave off, he looked out for me. he stuck by my side when the team went out to bars and clubs; warding off any highly unwanted male attention, glowering at any sketchy guys that dared to come near me.

it was never unusual to find him in Luke, Jack, and i’s living room, allowing me to paint his fingernails black as i talked his ear off about how my classes were dragging me down or telling him about the new true crime case i had heard of on my podcasts.

he was my platonic person. and now he’s gonna be gone. signing with the Pittsburgh Penguins at this very moment.

i was lost within my own head. the room eerily quiet, making it hard to miss the creak of the bedroom door.

i turn over in the bed, finding my boyfriend in the doorway, staring back at me with pity filled eyes.

“Ryan texted me.” it was in that moment that my reserve vanished. my walls broke down and my tears came pouring out, unable to be kept in any longer.

“Dolly, i’m sorry.” Luke crawls into the bed, pulling me into his chest. his hand holds the back of my head, the other rubbing circles on my back. “let it out, baby. i’m here for you. i’m right here.”

my tears soak into his black t-shirt, making it damp, but he doesn’t seem to care, only pulling me tighter to him.

i lose track of how long we lay there, Luke allowing me to cry into his chest until i’ve run out of tears.

“do you wanna talk about it, baby?” i shake my head against him, not quite ready to discuss my friend leaving. “okay. that’s okay, you don’t have to talk until your ready.”

i let out a whine, burying my head further up and into his neck.

the door creaks open once more, and i peek an eye open, retreating from my boyfriend just slightly to see his middle brothers head pop into the room. at the sight before him, Jack winces, his gaze softening.

“i just saw the news. i wanted to check on Dolly.” he whispers, his words aimed at his younger brother, as i’ve already moved back into my position in the crook of Luke’s neck.

“she’s not taking it very well.” Luke whisper’s back, “which is completely valid and i wouldn’t expect this to be any easier.”

those words are spoken into my hair, directed at me; reassuring me that my emotions are not dramatic, but rather understood and logical.

the door shuts, footsteps getting closer before i feel my side of the bed dip, a hand coming up to rub back while Luke’s hand stops to hold my hip.

“i’m really sorry, Dolly.” Jack’s voice comes from behind me. “you still have me, and Luke, and Dawson, John, Nico, Dougie, Bratter, i can keep going.

“we’re here and we’re not going anywhere. Ryan had to take a different path, and i’m really sorry about that, but i know he’s still there for you to call if you need him, right?”

i nod my head, my nose brushing against Luke’s neck.

“exactly. he’s not gone completely. just, not in Jersey anymore. and that’s what’s best for him and his career.”

i let Jack’s words sink in. pulling away from my boyfriend, i press a kiss to his cheek, him giving me a soft smile in return, before i turn and hug Jack; thanking him for his comfort.

i have my other best friends. it’s gonna be okay.

[slowestlap]

Bradley Scanes, Max's trainer during 2020-2023 seasons, did an interview with The Red Flags Podcast (22 Jan 2024)

I took one for the team and transcribed the bits I found interesting enough to share:

[12:40] Talking about the first times Brad met Max and how important it is that you click together well:

I think it's the most important. We had a good conversation in that time, I think the decision probably set on the fact that, for half of the time I was there, he was out driving the car. But I was there, talking to his dad, talking to his family. And really got on with Red Bull and really kinda fit into that mold and did for my whole 4 years with him and it was so nice. And I appreciate Max for this, his dad for this and the rest of the family because I felt part of the family the entire time which was really really nice and you know, we'll stay friends.

[24:00] From what I saw, I saw a guy that was elite. He knew where he wanted to go. You could see the drive, you could see the work ethic. The work ethic was tremendous. And for me it was just, I've gotta create the optimal space for him to be him and him to do him.

[27:30] Talking about flexibility and adaptability being the traits that separates greats from the rest:

He's on the grid being interviewed by two or three different tv stations, or something's happening with the car, he gets in the car and drives exactly the same no matter what's going on. And that's for me what I've seen from the kinda good to great.

[28:25] Was it hard to train him this year when he was so far ahead?

No, no. If anything he was more motivated this year than any year before.

[34:55] I feel like you have to be elite at falling asleep. Is Max like "allright time to go to bed" and he's like "okay [snores]"? Can kinda turn on turn off?

Yeah, he's really good at that.

[48:50] On staying motivated to win:

The mindset to keep winning is there. We love winning and it's what we get out of bed for, it's what we do our work for. We want to win no matter what it is. We going to Monza, going to Belgium, we wanna win that race. We want to win every single race and if the championship comes in the end the championship comes in the end. That's the mentality he has. […] The first one was motivated by winning the first championship, the second one was motivated by seeing off Ferrari and making sure we got the second (wdc) and that we're here to stay. And then the third one we were motivated by winning every single race and setting every single record that we could.

[1:14:55] Talking about other drivers posting tough work out videos while Max posted a lighter work out:

That's the thing actually, it's a conversation we've had before because we have the markers where we need to get to. How you get there doesn't really matter. We managed to do it in the most time efficient way, in the most enjoyable way for Max and how it doesn't impact on the other stuff as much. […] He doesn't like working out, everybody knows that. But when he's in the session he gets after it. It's just shifting that mindset, he might not want to do it ever again but there's not too much encouragement needed actually in session which is always nice. It's nice to work that way.

[1:16:10] If Max pisses you off what exercise are you doing to punish him? What's his least favorite?

Single-leg squats or planks.

[1:17:35] How long can Max plank for?

Decent amount of time. I don't actually remember but we must have hit like 4-5 minutes in pre-season test and a bit longer come summer break.

[keesdarlin]

☆// striking midnight (MDNI, 18+)

info! cayde-6 / fluff + gender neutral reader

cw! n/a

notes! just a silly little idea i had. also new year's eve has been a little bit rough, so i'm writing this to cope a little bit lol. enjoy :]

in all honesty, what you were doing probably seemed pretty sketchy to someone who was uninformed. or maybe even someone who knew what you were doing. to the unsuspecting eye, it probably looked like-

“are you rigging a bomb? what are you doing, guardian?” your ghost asked, hovering anxiously over your shoulder. 

“no, i’m not rigging a bomb,” you retorted, moving around some wires attached to your little contraption. it was colorful and roughly the size of a backpack, mostly metal cylinders and colorful tubing with wires attached. you sighed to yourself, still fiddling with it. “...they’re fireworks.”

“ah. a colorful bomb,” your ghost replied, an air of disappointment in their tone. 

“no, no. it’s a light show. we’re gonna send these off to celebrate the new year,” you explained, not looking up as you screwed in a loose part. 

“but why do we need to celebrate again? it’s just another completed revolution of the earth around the sun. there’s been a ton of these; it’s nothing new.”

you sighed. you had set up a display leaning against a trash can to the left side of the little alley you’d set up shop in, your headphones connected wirelessly. on the screen played a sort of podcast – two humans sitting together at a table, reflecting on the year with music playing in the background. the viewer count in one corner of the screen read a measly 24, not that you really minded. a countdown to midnight sat in the other corner. the hosts wore no armor, just civilian clothes. you yourself wore minimal armor. probably not the smartest decision considering that you were currently working with explosives, but you wanted to honor the holiday. not quite in your civvies, but not in any kind of battle suit either.

your screen glitched where it leaned against the trash can, the hosts’ voices becoming momentarily distorted. you leaned over, hitting the side a few times. the screen corrected itself. old tech. “because of what it means,” you began, focusing back on the work at hand. “a new year is a fresh start, a clean slate. holds new opportunities. think the light of a new day and all that shit. symbolism.” a beat passed as you rearranged some wires, and then, “i learned that we used to celebrate it before the going got tough. guess i got a little bit sentimental.”

your ghost hummed somewhere behind you, their shell rotating curiously. “well, i think that’s quite nice, guardian.”

“thank you,” you mumbled appreciatively, distracted with your work.

a thud sounded behind you, but you didn’t think much of it. if it turned out to be a threat, you had confidence in yourself to handle it. do you stayed the course, twisting and rearranging and soldering quietly as you hummed along to the music on your livestream. at least it’s nice out. all chilly and calm, just like winter should be. not a peep. judging from your ghost’s silence, they didn’t detect a threat either.

“whatcha got there?” a robotic voice asked from behind you.

you looked over your shoulder to find none other than cayde-6 leaning against the wall of the alley, watching you work. one of his hands lingered near his hand cannon, the other draped across his torso, blue eyes glowing in the dim light.

“a bomb,” your ghost answered easily, shell spinning.

“not a bomb,” you rushed to assure the hunter vanguard. “and not funny,” you directed at your ghost before turning back to the exo. “they’re fireworks.”

“ah,” cayde nodded. “pretty bombs.”

“they’re not bombs,” you corrected, standing to face him. “they shoot up in the air, they’re not gonna hurt anyone.”

“oh, relax. i’m not here to snitch on you or anything like that,” he said nonchalantly.

you looked at him again, gazing pointedly at the hand that lingered near the gun resting in his holster. “mhm,” you said, tone disbelieving.

cayde coughed awkwardly, bringing that arm up to cross the other over his chest. “say, do i know you from somewhere?”

you sized him up, somewhat offended. “i work at the tower. i’m a weapons expert.” i’ve actually worked on the ace of spades, you thought, but left it unsaid.

“of course i knew that,” he assured, nodding. sundance thrummed by his ear, observing.

you nodded too, half-heartedly affirming him.

“so what’s with the bombs?”

“am i the only one that celebrates new year’s eve around here?” you asked lightly, tone bordering on a laugh. 

cayde whistled. “from what i’ve heard, yes.”

you frowned to yourself, shoulders slumping. “that is so disappointing.”

“i suppose so,” he agreed. “how are you planning on celebrating?”

you pointed to the podcast playing on your monitor. “once that timer hits midnight, i’m gonna get off the fireworks. probably get a bite to eat after.”

“sounds… interesting.”

“care to join?” you offered, giving him a lopsided grin.

cayde seemed to think on it a moment and then shrugged. “i mean, why not? as long as no one gets hurt, of course.”

“great!” you smiled, turning back to your machine. you quickly went back to soldering and tweaking various parts of it.

cayde came up, crouched down next to you. “so how long do we have until it’s time to set this sucker off?”

you spared a glance to your screen, checking the countdown timer. “a couple minutes.”

“a couple minutes? and you’re still working on it?!” 

you waved him off. “calm down, i know what i’m doing,” you muttered.

“you’re sure?” cayde checked.

you turned to him, eyes narrowed. “if you don’t trust it, leave.” when he didn’t, you turned back to your work. a few more sparks flew before you finally stood up, setting your hands on your hips. “there.”

cayde hummed, standing up beside you. “okay, great! now what?”

you gestured to the screen. the timer in the corner stood at only 11 seconds. the both of you watched as midnight grew closer. “5… 4… 3… 2… 1…”

the timer hit zero and you pushed a button on the contraption with your foot, stepping back. thankfully cayde followed suit because, a moment later, a barrage of fireworks went up in the air. both of you watched as they exploded in a colorful, booming display of sparks. “wow,” he whispered breathily. 

grinning, you turned your gaze to him, nudged him with your elbow. “happy new year.”

although it seemed a little hesitant, cayde smiled back, eyes glowing a little brighter. “happy new year.”

“now…” you trailed off, grabbing your display screen and dropping it into your bag. another troop of fireworks went up and your grin seemed to gleam a little brighter around the edges. “we should probably run before we get in trouble.”

cayde blinked at you. “what?”

you laughed, staring at him a moment before taking off down the alley. “we should go! you think i got permission from this?”

and then he startled into the realization. you jerk. he broke into a sprint after you, watching the fireworks over his shoulder as he went. “i guess i assumed!”

“no way!” you called, mischief clear in your voice.

he shook his head, following you around a corner. “you owe me ramen for this, kid!”

[yourimagines]

Hey again! I loved your content on AngryGinge! I was wondering if you could do fluff content for ArthurTV? If not, it’s completely fine I understand! Thank you! 💕✨

Sorry that this took so long, I officially feel old because I didn’t know who he was 🙈 I’ve done some research on him. (Watching some videos.) I hope you like this one and I’m sorry it’s a shorter one

Podcast

* English is not my first language I apologise

* Gif is not mine

* Triggers: Swearing and fluff

- summary: you have a crush on Arthur

Y/N POV

Arthur asked me if I wanted to join him today on a podcast. A few others where there also like Chip and Calum. “Hey Y/N.” Chip greeted me as I arrived at the studio. “Hi Chip.” We both walked to the rest. Arthur was laughing with Calum. “Oh hey guys.” Arthur smiles at me, smiled shyly back. “You guys ready for today?” Calum asked us all. “Yes always.” Chip said while taking place on the set. “Okay then let’s get started.” Calum walks away to take a seat. Arthur smiles at me. “Let’s join them.” I nodded as we both took a seat. “I’ve never done a podcast.” “Don’t worry, Arthur will help you.” Chip laughs as Arthur pushed Calum. “Oh shut it.” I shyly looked at the microphone as the guys laughed about it.

“So we all seen the new movie talk to me right?” I shook my head. “No I haven’t.” “Why not?! It’s the best horror movie from this year.” Chip said to me. “Because I get scared easily, I don’t want to see a horror movie in the cinema, I wait till I can see it at home.” Calum laughs as Chip shook his head disappointed. “I can’t believe you….” I shrugged my shoulders. “Sorry I guess.” Arthur smiles at me. “We can watch it together then, I haven’t seen it either.” Calum gasped. “No way, come on guys..” “oh shut it Calum. Y/N and I will watch it together and then we come back to this topic again.” Chip starts to whistle, I blushed as Calum wiggled his eyebrows. “Yeah… watching the movie my ass.” Arthur laughs and shook his head. “Of course what else.” Chip made a kissing face. I was red as a tomato and hide my face. “Oh look at her!” Calum yells. “This is so not fair, you guys are making it weird.” I said into the microphone. “We?! Nahh you guys are so oblivious… just go on a date already.” I looked shyly over to Arthur who was smiling at me. “Only if you want” I nodded. “Yes, do you want it?” He nods. “Yeah for awhile to be honest.” I giggled at him. “Okay cool.” Chip and Calum high-fived each other. “Yess we did it again.” Arthur and I laughed at them. “Okay let’s move on…”

—— a few days later ——

“I heard you went on a date with Arthur.” Harry asked me as we were having lunch. “Yes, did you saw that video with chip and Calum.” “Yeah, you where embarrassed…” I nodded and sighed. “Yeah I’m still are.” “Why you like him and he likes you too.” “How do you know that maybe he’s just being nice and didn’t want me to be more embarrassed.” He shrugged his shoulders. “I don’t know, he does talks a lot about you when you’re not around. He smiles a lot when he sees or mentions you.” “Really?” He nods and took a bite from his food. “Yeah its getting annoying.” I hummed and took a bite from my food.

I was making a video with Harry as he got a call. “It’s Arthur.” I looked surprised as he answers the call. He made a silent movement to me as he puts him on speaker. “Hey Harry.” “Hello mate how’s going.” He smiles at me. “Good, I actually calling you about Y/N.” We both looked at each other. “Oh yeah, what’s about it.” “Well I’ve been on a date with her, was super nice but I don’t know if she wants to go on another one.” I smiled as Harry winked at me. “Ask her out then.” “You think she would love that.” “Mate you both like each other so yeah why not.” He gave me a thumbs up. “Yeah you right. Thanks Harry.” “No problem.” Arthur hangs up as Harry and I laughed. “See he totally likes you.” Then I heard my phone going off. I looked at my phone and saw Arthur’s name. “Oh my god.” “Pick it up your idiot.” I quickly answered the phone, putting him on speaker. “Hi Arthur.” “Hey Y/N, how you’re doing?” “I’m good, how are you.” Harry wiggled his eyebrows. “Good.. I was wondering if you want to go out on a second date.” I smiled brightly to my phone. “Yes I would love too.” “Really?! Uhh okay is tomorrow night fine with you?” “Yes that would be lovely.” “Okay cool. I’ll text you for the actual time… I see ya tomorrow then.” “Yes I see you tomorrow.” “Okay bye..” “bye…” he hung up and I did a happy dance. Harry laughs and joins me. “Oh my good Harry, I’m so nervous.” “Why you heard him he likes you, don’t chicken out now.” “I’m not just nervous about this.” I signalled with my hands around us. “It will be alright, you guys are totally in love, it’s makes me almost sick tho.” I pushed his arm. “Don’t be mean now.” “Hey I’m just saying..” we both laughed about it and started the video again.

—— date night ——

We where at a mini golf arcade. Arthur was winning the game. “Ugh not fair.” He laughs as my ball missed the hole. “It’s okay, you did your best.” He patted on my shoulder as I throw the ball in. “I’m hungry let’s eat something.” He nods and grabbed the golf stick. “Let me carry these to the counter.” I smiled and gave it to him. He walks over and gives them to the young girl behind the counter. She smiles and checks him out. ‘The disrespect of her.’ He waves and walks over to me. “Okay done, let’s eat something now.” We both walked next to each other to the food court. Our hands brushing slightly against each other’s. I got a light blush on my cheeks as we walked in.

“So favourite game.” I started to think. “Favourite game, I think at the moment party animals..” he nods. “Yeah that’s a fun one.” “What about you?” “Uhh I don’t know, I like a lot to be honest.” I nodded and took a sip from my drink. “I hope we can do this more often..” he looked at me with his beautiful smile on his face. I started to get shy and smiled. “I hope so too.” He carefully grabs my hand. “I like you for a while now, I hope you feel the same about me.” “Yes I do..” he squeezed my hand slightly. “I hate it that they were right about us, imagine all the bullying.” I groaned. “Oh yes especially from Chip and Calum.” We both laughed. “I hate them already.” “Yes me too, I can see the looks on their faces already.” He laughs and nods. “We need to protect each other from them, I have your back if your have mine.” “Don’t worry Arthur I have your back 100%.” He pulls my hand to his face and slightly kissed it. “Thank you..” I blushed at him. “No problem.” We both sat there for a few more minutes. Smiling at each other as two crazy love birds who just confessed their feelings.

[the---hermit]

29|11|2024

I decided to bring back my self care lists. I don't really have a structured plan yet, bc it was a decision I made without much thought, but to start I think I'll try to be mindful each day by doing at least three things that can count as self care, and then write them in my daily posts to hold myself accountable. No matter how small they are they count as long as I am doing something to make myself feel better. I am going through an emotional time and I need to be extra careful with myself, and since this is a low effort thing that worked in the past it seems like the right way to go.

today's productivity:

read first thing in the morning

wrote and posted a book review of the book I finished (I haven't posted one in ages it was nice to write one again!)

continued rewriting the second set of notes for my political institutions class

duolingo

worked a bit on my reading journal and set up my bujo for December

today's self care:

set my alarm a bit later than usual

finished studying earlier than usual both in the morning as well as in the afternoon because if brain isn't braining I don't see why I should torture myself and struggle when I clearly need rest

started relistening monstrous agonies and spent my entire lunch break listening to it (I need the sort of comfort that podcast gives me and it was truly needed)

📖: The Forbidden Harbor

🎵: Mayday by Three Days Grace

[sehtoast]

Tender Threads Ch 9 (Homelander x OC)

chapter nine: awakenings

chapter directory | slow burn, hurt/comfort, fluff, spidersona as original character, original trans male character, smut, sublander

summary: the world hasn't always been good to you, has it, little spider?

warnings: this chapter contains attempted/foiled SA against a minor, recollections of SA by a main character, and themes of hate-crimes

“– and now that menace is trying to corrupt our greatest hero!”

He fades into the world before his eyes even open.  There’s an awareness of most things.  A body beside him, fuzzy blankets beneath the palm of his hand, a pillow that his face is half sunken into, warmth…

“These arachnid types are all the same!”

And that damn voice…

He blinks slowly, eyelids heavy with the weight of rest the likes of which he hasn’t had in… well, he doesn’t know, really.  Before him is his little spider, phone aloft in his limp hand playing on the lowest volume setting and looping what seems to be a podcast of some sort.

“Junkies, thieves, dangers to society!”

Despite the vitriol, Benjamin seems to have fallen back asleep.  Homelander slips the phone out of his hand and squints.  8:45 in the morning… not quite time to start their day, but certainly a lot later than he normally sleeps.  Not that it matters terribly much.  Friday meetings always happened later in the day.  Other than a photoshoot at two, their day was mostly clear.  

Mostly.

“And now one’s in The Seven!  What were they thinking!?”

The Bugle.  Some low ranking news podcast channel he’s heard of in media demos that constantly begs for him to come on as a guest.  Homelander rolls his eyes.  This guy was less than shit in grass, but, all things considered, shit served more of a purpose.  Just a washed up old editor for a disbanded newspaper company whose name he recycled shortly after they had to close up shop.  Desperate for anything that could lift his views, even if it was just a rank amateur D-lister from some shithole like Cleveland.

Jonamy Ameson was no ordinary angry old man, it seemed.  As Homelander scrolled the VTok page, it appeared that he had a massive personal vendetta against Spider-Man.

“I don’t want that kind of filth swinging around the streets of this great city– nay, this great nation!” 

Every word was shouted with all of the poise of a tantruming child, fists slammed on his desk to rattle the cheap microphone, fingers pointed into the camera.  If the video wasn’t about Ben, about Spidey, it was about Webweaver, Silk Strider, Arachno-Lad– basically any spider type hero was ripe for the picking, but Ameson’s prime target was always Spidey.  

Interesting… 

“To think Homelander would allow such filth on his team!  The lawlessness of it makes me want to simply vomit!” 

Maybe it was worth booking a slot on his little budgetless production to put Ameson in his place.  For now, though… He has Ben’s phone.  Ben’s unlocked phone.  A quick glance finds the bug still out cold, so he gets to work.

Homelander was no aficionado with technology, but he knew one thing.  A person’s cell phone was an absolute gold mine of secrets.  Texts, photos, search history, all sorts of little obscure things he hasn’t been able to deduce from his secret visits and late night observations.

He starts with texts.  The second to last person Benjamin had texted was his mother and, from the looks of it, the conversation hadn’t been pleasant.

-please talk to your brother. he loves you -

-he’s got a real funny way of showing it - 

-he just doesn’t know how. you’re not being nice -

-the last time i talked to him he made sure to accuse me of being part of ‘tranny predator cabals’ but sure, *i’m* not nice -

The conversation seemed to have died there two days ago.  He backs out and opens the most recent.  In it, he finds Benjamin’s chats with his apparent best friend– the same one Homelander watched him have lunch with so long ago.

-i made Homelander mad, idk what to do -

-Duuuuude -

-help 😭😭 i don’t want him pissed at me! -

-I thought you’d want him at a distance after the stalking bullshit -

-i meaaan a few weeks ago yeah, but not really now yk? he’s not bad. kinda cool actually. you seen the pics yet of us running around together?

-Just that one from the other day with the car thieves -

The rest is… interesting.  Ben told of their excursions. Of how scared he was the first time they flew but how he’s started loving it so much– how he’s embarrassed to ask but wants to see if ‘Homie’ would ever bring him up above the clouds at night.

-idk does that sound weird? it might be weird -

-It’s a little weird bro. Shit sounds a lil romantical ngl -

-😭😭 -

A little night trip, eh?  He could do that…  But a romantic flight?  That was… something else.  That the bug didn’t deny it was worth a raised eyebrow or two.  Maybe… No.  No, no… he shouldn’t entertain the thought.  But maybe…

He shakes his head to clear his mind.

Benjamin’s gallery is little more than wanted signs and missing person posters, with maybe a shot or two relevant to his actual life.  A few screenshots of stupid social media posts, a picture of the menu from Patsy’s Pizza…

He’s so fucking ordinary.

Homelander half expected to find rantings and ravings about how much the bug detested their time together.  Something to undermine and dispel the illusion of all of this strange kindness.  Hell, he was even hoping to find a nude or two to send to himself and delete the evidence of such from Benjamin’s phone right after– but there’s nothing.  Even his social media is clean.

With a sigh, expelling emotions he can’t even name, Homelander leans over the bug to place the phone on the nightstand.  And that’s fine until he realizes how close that makes them.  The strangest shiver goes down his spine– a need to curl his arm around Ben’s abdomen and tug him nearer and sink into his very existence.

Their faces are so close.  He can practically taste Ben’s breath and he hardly hates that it carries that morning-time smell with only a whisper of the bug’s toothpaste of choice.  His nose should be scrunching in disgust. Every part of him should be reacting that way.  Instead, he stares at Ben’s lips, imagines what it would be like to slot a leg between his and entwine their limbs.

He’s never woken up beside someone before.

Maeve never stayed.  Never wanted to.  The rare fan usually left right after, was far too fucking annoying to keep around, or just… didn’t survive the prior events.  Even in the more innocent sense, like now, he’s never had this. 

What are you doing to me..?

He leans in closer.

Closer… 

The slightest nudge would touch their lips and he’d know if this was all just his mind playing tricks on him or if it was something… 

Something else. 

The fact Benjamin hasn’t startled awake yet is a miracle.

Homelander’s breaths grow unsteady, chest beginning to rise and fall faster and harder, heart hammering within. There’s something forbidden about it all.  A fruit too sweet to taste that screamed for him to do it anyway.  Could he stop himself?  

Should he?

Eve cast mankind from paradise with a mere bite.  Would the same happen here?  If those gentle eyes happened to flutter open and catch him in the act, would he too be thrown from heaven?

He has to know. He has to fucking know right now.

He flinches the moment their lips touch.  It’s as if Benjamin is pure electricity jolting through his very bones, fire through his veins, air in his lungs and it’s all from a mere brush of flesh.  Homelander’s eyes roll and flutter shut.  He goes back a second time, firmer.  It’s a sensation running hot and cold through his entire body all the to the fog of his mind.

He doesn’t move.  Doesn’t glide his lips further nor allow his tongue to swipe out.  He just lingers there, letting every sensation lap at the shores of his heart, mind, and soul.  It was like water in the desert. Food for a man starved.  Freedom for a caged dog.

Pulling away is the hardest thing he’s ever done.  But he can’t risk it.

He cannot be cast out from Eden.

Meetings had gone from a sore spot of anxiety to no more than a time to daydream.  There wasn’t much to it.  Homelander did the same-old-same-old.  He’d ask about saves, about marketing, about media projects, all the regular stuff.  This time, though, he gets to gloat.

“Well, the bug and I got up to some mischief with a few groups of undesirables this past week.”  He says proudly, shoulders back as he preens before the lackluster attention of the team.  “Media’s been eating it up, Home-Spider's been trending for three days straight. Our approval rates hit a hundred percent this morning.  That’s how it’s done, team. ” 

Homelander’s so giddy– happier than usual by a long shot.  Ben wonders what’s gotten into him.  Even their morning together had been incredibly upbeat.  Granted said morning was a matter of waking up, having a laugh about the absurdity of having had a sleepover without discounting that it was actually enjoyable, offering Homelander a lackluster breakfast of cereal– which he politely denied, and seeing him off as he floated back to his penthouse to get put together for the day. But still. 

Waking up beside him had been interesting.  Seeing Homelander with his eyes shut, sleeping peacefully without a trace of stress, sourness, or even a distant, distracted mind warping his expressions was… 

Well, it certainly brewed a nice warm feeling in the bug’s chest.  The entire fact Homelander had shown up last night took Ben totally by surprise, but it spurred the strangest tidal wave of joy.  Maybe because the ice cream apology worked out, but also just knowing he’d flipped the man who once threatened to ruin his life over to a friend was a source of happiness in its own right.  But it was somehow more.

For so long, Ben’s only friend had been Jase. There was only so much the bug could pester him before he would start to feel like a nuisance.  He’s lost so many people to having a dual life and hiding himself.  All the events he’s walked out on to do the right thing, all the people he’s left behind, every text detailing how his absence was too hurtful to tolerate anymore… and even just the relationships that died naturally.  

Although he was, at first, a suffocating force, Homelander has become the freshest breath of air Benjamin has breathed in a very long time.  Strange how the man who destroyed his perfect balance could become such a thing.

“Now,” leather clad hands come down on Ben’s shoulders and jar him from his thoughts.  The grip is gentle– kind, even. “Spidey and I have to get a move on to cover our obligations, but I fully expect to hear good things from everyone when we meet again on Tuesday.”

Once upon a time Ben would have expected those hands to be slowly crushing his bones in a display of dominance, but they do nothing of the sort. In fact, one drops and Homelander splays the other between Ben’s shoulder blades.  Benjamin looks up and smiles, glancing to the side occasionally to watch the others depart.  Maeve’s lingering gaze doesn’t go unnoticed, but he brushes it off.

“We’ve got that photoshoot next, yeah?”  He asks.

Homelander nods.  “Then some more district patrols. Oh, I’ve got a surprise for you too, but you’re gonna have to wait.”

“You wha–” 

“Ah, ah.  No spoiling it.”  Homelander says with a wag of his finger.  “Now, go do whatever it is a spider does.  I’ve got a quick meeting with Madelyn before we leave.”

“Wait, like– it’s a good meeting, right?”  

“Of course, silly.”

Silly?  That’s a new one.

“Just make sure you’re on the roof when I’m done, ‘kay?”  Homelander leans in, brow arched, voice softer and deeper.  “Otherwise I’ll have to hunt you down.”

Ben’s brows raise and his cheeks tingle with a warmth that spreads a little faster through his body than he’d care to admit. “In that case, c-can I just… give you my number then?”  Smooth. “Not to like, y’know– it’s so you can tell me when you’re done and I can–”

“Mm,” Homelander hums, pulling a phone out from god knows where in his suit.  “That sounds like a super idea, actually.”  He leans against the table and hands it off, eyes locked with Ben's.  “Go ahead, put it in.” 

Woah… is he– why’s he being so…

The bug taps away to create the contact, sends himself a message, and hands it back.  Homelander peers at the screen for a moment before snorting a little laugh.  Probably because of the contact name.  

‘Ben 🕷️ 🤠’ 

“Behave yourself, Benjamin.” Homelander says as he stands once more, turning on his heel to leave.  He gets to the door’s threshold before he turns back. “Oh, and don’t put my name in your phone as something weird.  You fuckin’ Gen Z’s are always doing that.”

Oh, now it’s just pure fucking temptation.

“No promises.  Homie.” 

“Hope you didn’t blink.  That’d just make us look bad.”

“I’m wearing a mask, you dipshit!” Ben cackles, releasing one web to tether another.  “What if you blinked, huh?”

“Please,” Homelander scoffs as he floats along.  “I’m perfect.  I would never do such a thing.”

“Suuure. I bet.”  The bug lets off at just the right angle to land on a low building.  On the streets below, students were just letting out from a nearby high school and their far-off chatter filled the air around them.  

Homelander touches down right next to Ben and shoots him a smug look.  The teasing had been going on back and forth since they first left Vought Tower.  Nothing crazy.  In fact, it had all been perfectly good natured.

The day had been absolutely wonderful.  They’d even snagged some churros once the shoot ended and ate them on top of the Empire State Building.  Of course, Homelander complained about the low quality of the ‘meal.’  He was, after all, a man of refined tastes accustomed to steak and lobster and whatever other fancy-pants cuisine the chefs on floor twenty-two cooked up.  

“What, you didn’t know you could do custom orders?”

“No!” Ben whined.  “The fuck?  You mean you can just get anything, and it’s like– it’s free!?”  

“Why wouldn’t it be?” Homelander asked, giving the street vendor food a concerned sniff.

“‘Cuz it’s fuckin’– it’s so fancy, dude!”  The bug throws his head back in theatrical agony.  “My god, I’ve been eating lunchables and ramen this whole time.  What the hell...”

“I don’t– why the fuck would it even matter if cost anything?  It’s not like you’re poor anymore.”

“Old habits, Homie.” Ben gripes.  “Once you’ve lived off’a jarred marinara and dollar store spaghetti for a month because you fucked up your budget, you just kinda get conscious of spending, y’know?”

“Nope.”  Homelander snorts.  “I would not know.  That sounds disgusting.”

“Mm.” Comes a hum that breaks Ben from the joyful memory.  “Sounds like a kerfuffle closer to the school.”

“Wanna check it out?” 

“Just kids,” Homelander says.  “Sounds like the pecking order is just establishing itself.”

The bug just looks at him.

“Fine.”  Homelander grabs Ben at the waist and propels them into the air, zipping all the way to a rooftop overlooking some rank alleyway where a gaggle of youths jeered at another, shoving him back and forth between the circle they’d formed around him.  

“Let’s see it, pussy boy!”

“C’mon, you say you’re a real man!  Shouldn’t be that hard to prove it.”

A girl stands off to the side, phone pointed at the scene while she laughs in gleeful joy.

Ben jumps down with no care to slow his fall. The concrete crackles below him, drawing away all the attention. 

The crowd parts with gasps of awe and horror, and in the center is an older boy frozen in place, hands mid-tug on a younger boy’s shirt.

Benjamin inhales deeply, holds it, then lets it go.  They’re kids– remember that they’re just kids.

The girl holding the phone points it in his direction, quaking.  With a thwip, he snags it from her, throws it to the ground, and crushes it under his heel.  Rage brews in his gut like a poison.  He’s almost confident his knees are trembling almost as much as his balled fists.  It’s all but a mirror fucking image of himself...  Tears bite at his eyes and it takes all he’s got to swallow the lump in his throat between the grinding of his teeth.

The kids flinch with his first step toward them.  By the second, they’re inching their bodies to turn for their inevitable dash from the scene of the crime.  All Ben wants is to grab each of them by the neck and throttle them senseless for what they were doing.

“Go.”  He grits.  “Get the fuck out of here!”

Normally, seeing them throw one another to the wolves and every-man-for-himself-ing it would be amusing.  But not this.  Not now.

The boy they’d been after sniffles and tugs his jacket back in place, zipping it quickly to hide the torn neckline of his shirt that had revealed a garment Benjamin knew all too well.

“Hey it’s– don’t worry now, okay?”  He stammers, approaching slowly.  “They’re gone, and they ain’t coming back.  This yours?” Ben asks, nodding his head in the direction of scattered books, paper, and a crumpled bookbag.  His heart hurts ten times worse when he spots the little pink, blue, and white pride pin dangling from a zipper loop.

The boy doesn’t answer, nor does his gaze rise from the ground.  Ben picks everything up anyway.  He spots a name on some torn up algebra homework.

“Eli?”

That does the trick.  Ben grabs one last thing off the ground– a baseball cap– and shuffles over to him.  “You okay?”  The bug kneels once Eli looks back to the ground. Kiddo’s got a black eye and a bloody nose.  “Think you dropped this,” he murmurs.  He gently plops the hat in place and tugs it forward nice and snug.  Perfect fit.

Thwip.

Whoever’s washcloth he snagged from the clothesline above will just have to cope with its loss.  “Here.” He says, reaching forward with the rag to dab away the blood.  “Pinch that for me, yeah?” When the boy’s hands don’t leave the neckline of his jacket, Ben sighs.

“Don’t worry about hiding the straps, little dude.  I used to wear a binder too.”

And, just like that, shame and humiliation turns to awe and disbelief.

“Used to have shitty kids do awful things to me too.”

“R-Really?”  Eli squeaks, voice nasally from the hold Ben keeps on his nose.

“So you can talk!”  The bug chirps, lenses miming the way his eyes change with his growing smile.  “Here, take that– awesome.  But yeah… Yeah.”  Ben slings the bookbag onto his back and stands.  “Can I walk you home?  Or I could swing ya.  Your choice.”

The kid’s eyes light up even brighter.  “I wanna– can we swing?”

“You bet!” 

He swaps the bookback to his chest and lets Eli climb on piggy-back style.  

“Hold onto your hat.  You want the scenic route?”

“What the hell was that earlier?”  

Ben's feet dangle over the edge.  He and Homelander had stopped to relax not long after the debacle with the kids. There had still been a few issues around the city that needed handling, but they finally found a quiet moment.  The top of Lady Liberty’s crown was the only place that seemed far enough away from the hustle and bustle of Manhattan, and they sat in near silence so long that the sun had started to paint the world in reds and golds.

“What do you mean?”  The bug asks, sadness thick in his voice despite every insistence that he was completely fine.

“Just, all that.” Homelander doesn’t know how to explain it.  The bug smelled like misery down to the atomic level from the moment he dropped the kid off, and there was obviously something personal in the way he’s been reacting to the situation.  “You take every wet puppy we come across to heart, but you usually get over it pretty quickly.  What’s the problem?”

It’s certainly irksome when the bug looks away.  Benjamin’s dismay is practically stinking up Lady Liberty’s entire head.

“It’s nothing.  Don’t worry about it.”

Which is such a fucking lie. It almost makes him furious. 

“Right, right.” He scoffs. “Your blood pressure is elevated over nothing.  Got a little jack rabbit thumpin’ in your chest over nothing.  Do you think I’m fucking stupid?”

“No, I just…” Ben sighs wistfully, but one of his uncomfortable chuckles cuts through it.  “It’s just a lot, y’know?”

Since fucking when has his talkative little spider ever learned the art of silence?  Christ, it’s almost a total role reversal of the other night.  Ben’s silent, but all Homelander wants is their normal, stupid banter.  He wants to hear about helping old broads cross the street and stopping bike thieves.  He wants to hear Ben’s ridiculous anecdotes and pestering questions. But now he’s being deprived, and for fucking what?  Because some pissant kid couldn’t fight off a pack of bullies?

“And I don’t wanna force you to be my therapist.”

As if the bug could force him to do anything. Time for a different approach. 

“Heh, try me.  I’ve been told I’ve got pretty strong shoulders.”  He pats one for good measure.  “Besides, the more you deny it, the more I want to know.”

The more I have to know…

Was there something not included in his file?  Something Homelander hadn’t scrounged up in that shithole apartment Benjamin had been living in?

“C’mon, get it off your chest before you stink up the whole statue.  Sad people smell bad.”  

He stares and stares until Ben cracks the smallest smile.  It would be fine if his eyes weren’t glassy.

“I just… ah, where to start…”

Probably at the beginning, he wants to say, but–

“That… happened to me.”  Ben says, clearing his throat after a moment.  “Just… really hit home, y’know?”

Oh.  

Oh…

Homelander’s eyes narrow.  He means to demand elaboration, but Ben beats him right to it.

“I… it was some kids at school.”  Ben takes a deep, shaky breath.  His blood pressure is climbing again, heart pounding, adrenaline brewing. He stares blankly into the dark nothingness of the river. “I dunno what they were even trying to prove, y’know? I figure you know all this already, but I wasn’t always a guy…”

He just nods.  Of course he already knows. Vought didn’t miss a beat with that dossier.  But, more importantly, Ben used to get harassed as a kid?  It seems nothing short of preposterous.  Benjamin’s a superhuman; he shouldn’t have a single problem putting filth beneath his boot–

“Apparently they were supposed to just beat my ass and prove a point, but I– it wasn’t…”  Benjamin pauses, collecting himself, eyes shut.

Homelander inches the slightest bit closer.  Never in his life has he ever felt a need so strong to pull someone into his arms.  Hell, he’s never even asked someone to drop all of their baggage like this before either.  He’s never cared.  Things like this are beneath him… But how quickly that lack of concern has morphed into woeful rage the likes of which he hasn’t felt in decades…

“T-They didn’t do a lot, y’know, just– just some, but...” 

Every sniffle, every crack in Ben’s voice rips Homelander’s heart to shreds. Someone had hurt his little spider.  

“And I…”  Ben wipes furiously at his eyes.  “I think– I think that t-those kids earlier were about to do the same thing to that boy and–” Ben finally looks over, eyes bloodshot and puffy. Devastated inside and out.  “Other than my old therapist and Jase, you’re the only one who knows about that now…”

His body moves on its own.  Homelander pulls Benjamin over, loops an arm around his back and another beneath his knees and hoists him into his lap for an embrace unlike any he’s ever given.  His heart hammers just as loudly as the bug’s.

“M’sorry,” comes the smallest, whimpering sob against the crook of his neck.  “S-Shit, I don’t– crying’s not– I usually don’t–”

“Shut up,” Homelander says softly, careful to keep even the slightest shred of rage off his tongue.  There would be time to find names later. Someday soon, hopefully.  “Cry your heart out, bug boy.  I can handle it.  Good shoulders, remember?”

Ben’s body shakes with a small laugh that interrupts whatever suppressed weep managed to slip free.

“T-They are cozy,” he hiccups.  “I’ll give ya that…”

He waits.  Waits and waits and waits until Ben’s cries cease and his vitals fall back to less distressed ranges.  By the sound of his breathing, he’s nearly wept himself to sleep.  So Homelander does the only thing that feels more right than dropping everything to raze that little shithole town where Benjamin was raised to the ground.

“I’ve gotcha,” he coos.  It’s the gentlest he’s ever taken off.  Just a tiny hop was all he needed to become weightless and rise higher and higher.  This is what he should’ve done right away.  

“What’s–”

“Your surprise,” he says as if it were so obvious.  “You like it?”

He certainly should regardless of how exhausted he may be.  The sun casts its red haze across the clouds, painting them perfect hues of scarlet and pink, sinking bit by bit more and more beneath the horizon.  The darkening blue of the sky threatens to overtake it all, like a god in and of itself ready to swallow the earth.

Ben clings to him even tighter.

“Relax. M’not gonna drop you.”  Homelander huffs a small chuckle.  

“I didn’t say you would,” yawns the bug.

God, their faces are so fucking close. 

“You’re being sticky,” he hums with a small roll of his eyes.  There’s not really a better way to describe it.  “Don’t you trust me?”

Say yes… Please fucking– just say yes.

“I do, just–” Benjamin sputters, eyes darting to and from his gaze.  “The heights, y’know?  Wait, you can feel that?”

“No, but I figured you were stuck to me.” He teases, grinning from ear to ear.

The resulting giggle is like sweet music to his ears.  It’s silent for a moment while the bug takes it all in.

“You can just– you can just do this like it’s nothing…” Ben murmurs after a while.  “You’re amazing,”

“Mm, tell me more.”

“If I do that, your head won’t fit through my doorway anymore,” Benjamin chuckles.  “But yeah…. Yeah.”

Just for that lovely compliment, Homelander decides the bug has earned a full sunset.  Not until the sun fades away completely does he decide to descend and, even then, the bug is already halfway dozed off again.  Messy hair tickles his cheek and he’s so glad Ben can’t see the smile he’s struggling to keep at bay.

Because it’s endearing, he tells himself.

He flies as slow as possible to savor the moment. It's awkward to maneuver two bodies through the access hatch at once, but he manages to do it all the same.

Part of him expected Ben to hop down as soon as they were inside, but, to his surprise, the bug does nothing of the sort.  He clings weakly all the way back to the bedroom, and those arms don’t quite unloop from around his neck even after he lays Benjamin on the bed.

Their eyes meet and the space between them is so very small.  No different at all than when he’d stolen that sweet, sleepy kiss…

“Hope you enjoyed flying air-Homelander,” he murmurs, smiling softly.  All the rage he’s felt since Ben’s confession has melted away, replaced by butterflies and fondness that feels so sweet that it could give him a cavity at any moment.  “You’ve arrived at your destination…”

Instead of letting go, those arms pull Homelander into a warm embrace.  No one ever really knows that Homelander can quite literally sniff them out.  Every little chemical the brain makes tickles his bloodhound nose in some way or another.  And Benjamin..?

“Mm, thanks, Homie…”

He smells sweet. 

“Of course.”

Warm.  Welcoming. 

“Get some sleep,” Homelander hums. The arms at his neck fall slowly and he tugs a blanket up to Ben’s chin.  Even after he leaves– reluctantly, of course– and with a troubled mind, he can’t shake that scent.  Serotonin, norepinephrine, oxytocin, vasopressin…

He smells like love.

Oh god.  Oh god…

He’s paced back and forth through the penthouse for hours now working through the hurricane of emotions sweeping through both his heart and mind.  There was rage.  Pure, unbridled, wrath at the fact someone had harmed his sweet Benjamin.  That they’d done such damage to the boy… it wasn’t enough to even fathom rolling heads.  It had to be more. 

He’d clenched his gloved fists over and over again, each creak of the leather a promise of how he’d crunch bones and sinew between his fingers and rip them limb from limb.  He’d savor it.  Every second would be perfect.  There were no faces yet to attach to these fantasies.  But soon, the very minute the staff clocked in, he’d put analytics’ sniffers on the trail.  They’d scrounge up something.  They fucking better.

Look at you, all in a twist over the bug.

His reflection stares back in the mirror, but there’s a lack of anger.  There’s no ridicule in its eyes.

“I–”  He swallows thickly, eyes darting between the window and mirror.  “I hate that someone… hurt him.”

I know, John.  I know… Why is that, do you think?

“I don’t–”  He swallows again, letting loose a shuddering breath.  He does know.  Dare he speak the words?  It was just a fixation, damn it!  For so long, it was just a fixation.  Just watching Ben through the walls of his shitty apartment, just floating out of sight to watch him swing to work, just watching – just… 

It’s the same reason you’re so afraid of the next few days.  They’ll be over.  You don’t know if he’ll keep coming around.  Chatting with you, sitting on rooftops, hanging out.  

It was undeniable.  As much as he tries to bury the feeling, there’s anxiety bubbling in droves over the idea of their mentorship week ending.  He’s never really had something like this.  Ben feels like a friend.  Sure, sometimes he’s a pain in the ass and he never shuts up, but he’s so…

C’mon, tiger! Do the math.  You snubbed Madelyn for him this morning.  What, you can’t put two and two together?

“I can’t–”

Can’t what?  Admit it?  Because that makes it too–

“Real.”  He deadpans.  It makes it too real.  These feelings, the reason he felt the need to sneak that little kiss, the way his heart fluttered earlier… letting Ben dump his baggage and not sneering or telling him off… 

“I–”

Just then, his phone dings from across the room and a jolt of excitement sparks through his body like a barrage of lightning.  He knows without even looking.  He knows because no one fucking texts him let alone talks to him after work hours.  His number was seemingly business only for so long, until…

Along came a spider.

He smiles sheepishly and does an awkward little run to his phone.  He chucks his gloves off on the way and grabs it with delight, hoping beyond hope that it’s–

-can’t sleep :( wanna do another movie if you’re not already asleep?  i’ll let you pick-

Giddiness rises in his chest and tugs the corners of his mouth into a big, happy grin.  Duh, he wants to say.  But he doesn’t reply at all.  Instead, he’s down the side of the building and inside the hatch within moments.  His hands shake slightly as he shuts it.  The barely-there citrus scent and the aroma of popcorn greets his nose first thing, and it feels so right.  

Ben’s in the kitchen to greet him, standing there in his boxers and a t-shirt while his snack of choice pops away in the microwave.  A thrill runs up his spine at the sight.

What a way to end the day.