#the real takeaway from this

[inhayara]

A Day in the Life Of

something I wrote instead of procrastinating.

***

:begin:

m = 2kg

a is constant

no friction → closed energy system

PEg = PEs (?)

Fnet =

Fnet =

Fnet = …

Bzzt! karelyn.velaii messaged you on instagram.

Tak, tak-tak tak tak tak.

Haha. No, no, you’re supposed to be working. You’ll talk to her later. Exit the conversation.

Exit the a- “Someone wrote a fanfiction about me. You guys, I have to read this-”

“Personally I think the phrase “it’s okay to not be okay”-”

“POV: you walk up to the register in full cosplay-”

“Girls literally post on their instagram-”

“Why is it always “girl spill the tea” and never-”

“I think it’s time we do something about the straight man population yall-”

“Old people are always like “oh back in my day there was no autism”- “

A phone crashes against a pillow. You crash back with it.

Fnet =

Fnet =

Fn- You should probably move those stickers. And that notebook. And the other one- no wait, you need it for transferring assignments to your to-do list. Why are there so many gum wrappers on your desk?

No wait, Fnet- those gum wrappers have to go. In the kitchen, in the kitchen… Ah, water! Only now you realize how dry your tongue is. Obviously, water. What a silly thing to forget. You set the gum wrappers down and pour yourself a glass.

The water jug needs refilling. You turn the tap on and see the dishes in the sink. It’s filthy – and you hate washing dishes, but you know that you haven’t done much in the way of chores these past few days, so you know you should contribute somehow, and anyways you have this pressing, needling, restless urge to do anything other than what’s waiting for you when you get back. Which is- er, something. Doesn’t matter what – dishes now.

The dishes are done, and they rest sparkling clean on the drying rack. You smile at a job well done.

Alright, back to work. You exit the kitc- gum wrappers accuse you from the counter top.

Right.

Gum wrappers.

They go in the dustbin. You know if you tried separating them for recycling, you might spend another half hour here. Or had it been twenty minutes? You would check, but your watch is in the other room – which you need to go to, anyways.

Back at the desk. Three notebooks lie haphazardly stacked – one for writing, one an agenda, and one that tracks progress with stickers. There is one date written, and two stickers. The date is from last week.

You sit at your desk.

Fnet =

Fnet =

Fnet- Maybe you just need to change assignments. Something less daunting, like history or Spanish. Surely you can manage Spanish.

You open the assignment- ah yes. It’s missing. You feel a strange dread pool in your stomach, wrap around your throat. You close the assignment.

Back to physics then.

Fnet =

Fnet =

Rereading the problem. Springs… dropped from a height h… speed of the ball…

Fnet =

Fnet =

Fnet =

Fnet = Fs… no that can’t be, erase it.

Fnet =

The notebook cover catches your eye and you think of red hair.

You imagine red hair, and a girl named Emily. She is stubborn, and funny, and far, far away from here.

Ah, but what if she was… You spring to your feet senselessly. You pace unknowingly. You dream of a girl named Emily and fiction you will never write, and you think of praise you’ll never receive and a person you’ll never be, because there are still three notebooks at your desk, one unopened, one with endless work, and one with two stickers and a date from last week. Some progress.

You’re on the carpet now. You check your watch – 9:23 pm. You tilt your chin to the ceiling and sigh.

It’s fine, it’s fine, you just need some – motivation. Rah rah. Energy. Music. Music! You just need some music.

You open a video from a watch later list stuffed with ambience rooms. Elegant jazz, how nice. You close your eyes and imagine – ah, but this one has a better background. Click. Oh, it’s so pretty… there’s no music though. Hm.. Always by Erasure? Well now you have to play it. Oh, and Paisley Park! Add it to the queue. Oh and! Oh and! Oh and…

Every song is an opportunity to get motivated to do work, you tell yourself. You just can’t seem to take them. You avoid looking down at Fnet, and say it’s because you’re waiting for that spark.

You’re dancing when the door opens. Right, bedtime. Time to- bedtime?! You can’t believe it’s this – but you can, but you can, because it always is.

It’s fine. It’s fine. This is still salvageable. You’ll just have to make some sacrifices.

The crisp sound of opening a Celsius. You hope nobody heard, and hide it in your drawer.

There’s a picture of forest fruit on the can, but it doesn’t matter. They all taste the same: cough syrup and desperation.

Fnet =

F- let’s do another assignment, actually. Not Spanish, not spanish… history? You could manage history. At least this one isn’t missing.

Ten minutes of silence. Ten more minutes of silence, punctuated by typing and thoughtful pauses.

Tycoons like Carnegie invigorated the… No that’s not the right word. Motivated? Restructured? No, no – thesaurus.com. Ah thesaurus.com, your old frie- never mind, none of these words fit. Agh, what was the word? It was right at the forefront of your mind, you can feel it- ooh that’s a great sentence. Not for this assignment though. Instead for… you’re pacing again. Your mind somersaults through daydreams of dragons to more fantastical daydreams of admiration and praise. Of a person you could be proud of being. You smile a fool’s smile, and keep pacing.

Sitting on your bed brings you closer to your phone. First mistake. Or hundredth mistake. All the mistakes. They’re the only decisions you make, anymore.

You open it, and scroll.

Second mistake. You stop scrolling. Dread unfurls from where it slept in your stomach and seeps into your blood. You close your eyes, your face to the ceiling. Again.

Come on. One last go. Get up. The bed creaks under your weight.

The computer would have shown you a half-finished history assignment if it hadn’t been left untouched for so long that now it is dark. You click it back to life, and check the time.

2:43 am.

You stare at the screen, and it stares back at you, the black numbers converging into pixels of red and green as your vision blurs. You blink back the tears that are already coming. Too late. Too late, too late, too late…

A tear plops onto the desk, and you follow it with your gaze.

Fnet = .

Another tear falls, and you with it.

Crumpled on the floor, all out of motivation and stickers charts and hope, you whisper three words:

“I give up.”

Tomorrow you will do the same.

:end:

[bandtrees]

ONE: ok guys here’s an arc about mob, in his growth as a person, being confronted with an ideology he’s unfamiliar with, and he has to learn from it but also understand why it’s unhealthy and bad to properly grow from it and choose kindness in the end, albeit in a more nuanced way than before, and this will make mob more able to confront later problems in the season that can’t be solved with mere kindness and require a deep understanding of loneliness and solitude, something he hasn’t had much room to speak on until now. To express mob being shown this villain’s ideology we have a sequence where we see how mogami views the world and by extension how he sees mob, by putting mob in the kind of sad fucked up world he thinks exists, but mob will overcome it with the knowledge that in the real world he has people he cares about and that even the people who make the world bad sometimes can change and nobody is a static evil and kindness and courage when you’re going through hardship goes a long way. despite the darkness this is ultimately a very uplifting experience for him and a show that life is always more than its darkest moments, and also how picking yourself up instead of wallowing in your own suffering and trauma is hard but a very courageous act and what makes mob stronger than mogami

mp100 fans with tunnel vision: Oh so mob was tortured for six months and is sad? He’s literally so sad and traumatized and nobody is talking about this?

[citrusdownn]

bug guy..

[sleeplessvalley]

THEY TURNED UZI INTO A SYSTEM AT THE END???? WE STAY WINNING

(rambling about this more in the tags; blatant spoilers)

[lacefuneral]

"ACAB except kim kitsuragi"

no hope for you even at all.

[averlym]

,,, sun-dappled sheets...

[shsl-heck]

One thing that's had me thinking about Amy lately, is the tension between disgust and desire. She is horrified by the immensity of her desire for Victoria, but the shame and guilt over it can only ever make it worse. Fear and arousal, disgust and desire, all of them bleed into each other (we see this constantly in both porn and horror). It's like she has this splinter at the core of her being and she either cant realize or wont accept that the more and more she digs for it to try to get it out, the deeper she's driving it into herself. She cannot remove this without help from someone else. (Coincidentally, not being able to recognize that her attempts to do/be what she's supposed to are only making things worse is also what leads to the Enwretchening)

I'm aware there's a reading of Worm in which Amy's attraction to Victoria is purely an expression of a kind of morality focused ocd, but I personally think that's less interesting. She definitely experiences some level of that (the urge to fuck up a baby she's healing followed by disgust with herself is like a perfect example of an intrusive thought associated with that brand of ocd), but I think this is a case of *and* rather than *or*. My reading of Amy is that of a deeply lonely and emotionally neglected child clinging to the one person in her life that gives her any form of affection, whose attachment only gets increasingly complicated as she starts to grow up and realizes she is attracted to women.

She has never been treated as part of the family, has always felt on some level that she's only playing at being a sister to Victoria, and she is dealing with that during a stage of her life that is turbulent at best for even people raised in a healthy functional environment. There is a broad cultural taboo around sex and desire, but there's a special sort of self-loathing and fear that you're somehow predatory for finding someone attractive that a lot of queer people experience due to the stigma surrounding their sexuality and/or gender. Homoeroticism and attraction is seen as disgusting and fundamentally wrong by society no matter what. It is especially disastrous for Amy because even though she's never been able to see herself as Victoria's sister, she knows she's supposed to, and that adds a whole new layer of guilt and shame to even a passing thought about Victoria being attractive.

Then she triggers. Suddenly she not only has to pretend to be Amy Dallon the well behaved unintrusive family member, she has to be Panacea, the girl who performs miracles. She doesn't even have a secret identity to fall back on for privacy because of New Wave's gimmick. Any resentment about her role, or desire to live a normal life become more proof that she is a sick, evil person; a parasite who has wormed her way into the Good and Heroic Dallon-Pelham family and is eating away at them from the inside-out.

Even as it forces her to repress more and more of herself, Panacea also offers Amy what is seemingly her only chance to be Good like her family. Healing people isn't just something she has to do in order to avoid being a terrible person, but also how she can atone for everything else that's Bad about her. Saving people is a way to try to purge herself of the desire for Victoria, and to prove that she can be a Dallon in more than name.

Like, as awful and lesbophobic as Wildbow's handling of Amy was, there is something deeply compelling and even relatable about her to me. She perfectly captures an emotional state that I've struggled (and failed) to explain as I wrote and rewrote this post. It's the hunger, the guilt, the shame, the fear, the loneliness that settles on your skin like frost as a child when you accept that there must be something wrong with you, because if there wasn't then you wouldn't have to try so hard to be good.

[gwuncan-exhibit]

How would you imagine future Gwen and future Duncan? Anything goes 👀

Hmmmm, well, I feel like I always imagine the same “in their mid-twenties moving to the big city” scenario, and though I love that vision for them, I think I’ll go ahead and add some more details to what I’d think a future Gwuncan would be like!

I think eventually down the line, maybe in their thirties, the two would suggest having a kid together, but from adopting one because they’d really want to help out a child in need of a new home. (: After LOTS of consideration to make sure that they’re ready for a kid, the two finally decide they are so and run over to an adoption center to give one of the children a new family! 🥰

That kid wouldn’t be the only thing needing to be taken care of in that home though cause Gwen and Duncan would also have some pets lying around! I imagine a tortoise would be in their presence, maybe an iguana as well, and I also feel like spiders would be something that Duncan would never truly stop loving so he has some baby tarantulas that are chilling in him and Gwen’s bedroom.

I think Gwen and Duncan would also be taking up some new hobbies by this point too like maybe Duncan gets really into dirt bike riding or Gwen gets really into rock climbing, something along those lines me thinks. 😌

Right now that’s all I have, but yeah! Gwen and Duncan would be pretty chill as they get older, never really getting involved in any drama and pretty much just staying in their own lanes. They’d both probably shut down any interest in wanting to come back for a Total Drama reunion special too…unless the check to come back is fat, maybe that’ll change their minds haha, but they’ll probably never compete in a season again! 🤣

[lilacerull0]

i haven't even seen the episode yet, but learning about the fact that they didn't include such an essential aspect of the story is making me feel so irrationally sad

[yourlocalxenomorph3]

fandom brainrot is a fucking illness

[aurantia-ignis]

"Can I have this dance~"

Doodled this for animation practice. Also I miss them.

[limerental]

so in the ferry scene, valdo marx claims that sabrina is interested in him sexually as well as musically and jaskier immediately leaps to talking about yennefer. here's how yennskier can still--

[illumiiiz]

one thing they didn’t tell me was that a side effect of reading ready player one is that I now want to read, watch, play, and listen to every piece of 80s media mentioned or referenced in this freakin book and bro I simply have not the time

[thegreatyin]

Oh wait did The Scoundrel change to she/her pronouns while I wasn't looking? Congrats on her (non bat kind) transition

the scoundrel uses any pronouns! always has ^w^ i just tend to default to it/its or they/them, just for simplicities sake

[gnomeniche]

nate d. stevenson fucking loves childhood friend drama and you know what. so do i

[martyrbat]

my turn to be scary — dcu halloween special (2009)

(ID in alt!)