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greenorangevioletgrass · 1 year ago

Text

given the circumstances (part 1) | b.r.b.

pairing: Bradley Bradshaw x actress!reader

summary: your relationship with Bradley goes from 0 to 100 after a little happy accident. [Part of “The Actress & The Aviator” universe]

word count: 5.9k

Warnings: established relationship, language, pregnancy, mention of vomit/nausea, accidental pregnancy, fluff, smut [unprotected sex, oral (f receiving), dirty talk, daddy kink, hint of mommy kink?, breeding kink, size kink, creampie]

notes: they’re back babeyyyy! This is set about 1.5 years after the events in “It’s Classified”, and it fills in the gap of the blurbs I did a while ago. But you don’t have to read it first, this can be read as a standalone. I have missed writing for them so much, and I hope you enjoy reading this! <3

✨ follow @ficsbygreenorangevioletgrass to get notified for my latest words <3 happy reading and please reblog if you liked it! ✨

PART ONE

You’ve been New York-bound for six whole months, doing two shows on Broadway back-to-back. Bradley came to visit you for your musical’s opening night about two months in (and again for your second show, a modern take of Romeo & Juliet), but with your shows and his sudden deployment to God knows where for three months, the time and space apart was killing you.

Which is why you’re determined to take some time off as soon as you’re done, just to be with your stupidly handsome fiance at home in the stupidly sunny California.

Your first month or so was a bliss. You would wake up to the smell of your coffee, and saunter into the kitchen where Bradley would kiss you good morning. There’s no rigid structure to your days, save for the occasional work meetings. Most of your time is spent playing house with your fiance, redecorating the house you both barely lived in before you were called off to work. Wandering around and jotting down inspirations for your new screenplay. Treating yourself to frozen yogurts and manicures. Adjusting to life in the San Clemente neighborhood of Orange County.

(Bradley made a joke about you joining The Real Housewives soon, which earned him an elbow to the rib. Whatever. He was more Housewife material than you anyway.)

But halfway through your second month, you started feeling lethargic and just… off. You chalked it up to the weather and exhaustion, since you’ve been back to work, going to pre-production meetings for your upcoming movie. You tried to brush it off with vitamins and heartier meals, powering through for a couple of days.

“You sure you’re okay? You don’t look so good…” Bradley looks at you in concern when you shuffle into the kitchen that morning.

You’re really not, but you blatantly refuse to acknowledge that. “I’m fine. Still tired, is all. I just need some…” the coffee scent wafts in the air—the same scent that always woke you up in a good mood these past six months—and you gag. “Oh fuck.”

Bradley’s voice calling out your name sounds distant as you dash towards the bathroom, barely making it to the toilet before you puke your guts out.

“Hey…” he holds your hair back with one hand while the other rubs your back patiently. Staying calm despite his head is running a mile a minute in panic. “What happened, sweetheart?”

Everything feels like hell from your mouth to your stomach, and you groan as you pull the flush. “I have no idea. I just… I could smell the coffee and suddenly…” you motion at the toilet. “I mean, what the fuck?”

He sighs, wiping off sweat from your forehead and brushing the strands of hair sticking on it. “Maybe it’s stress?” he guesses, although they both know it’s unlikely. You’ve been keeping it relatively chill since you got here. “Or a stomach bug? Or…”

You look up to find his brown eyes softly gazing at yours, in worry and concern and… “Or what?”

He grimaces almost apologetically, and you slowly catch what he means.

“No. No way. Nuh-uh.” you shake your head so quickly, you give yourself a headache. “I’m on birth control. I’ve never missed a day…” That’s not true. As the words leave your mouth, you remember the surprise trip Bradley took you to Big Sur one weekend where you forgot both your pills and condoms…

Fuck.

“Babe… What date is it?”

He stammers for a bit, “Um, the— it’s the 18th.”

You do the mental math, counting the time gap between today and the Big Sur trip, and your last period… and your eyes widen. Your head is swirling, and so is your stomach.

“Sweetheart, do you think you might be—”

Before he can say the damned word, you feel the bile rising again. Your pointer finger lifts up in wait, as you bury your face in the toilet and throw up once more.

His heart catches. You’ve talked about having a baby, and you’ve talked about wanting to have one… some time in the future. He didn’t expect it to happen so soon. Butterflies fill his stomach at the possibility of you carrying his baby right now at this very moment, but the sight of you looking so… defeated by your own body is enough to create a nasty pit in his gut.

“What can I get for you, baby?” he asks softly, caressing the back of your neck.

There’s absolutely nothing else to empty from your stomach at this point. It’s basically just water and dry heaving, and your eyes are tearing up from the terrible sensation.

“Ginger ale from the fridge…” you manage between heavy breaths, “...and some test packs from the pharmacy, please.”

“Okay, sure. Got it. Come on, let’s get you back to bed.” He offers both his hands and gently pulls you up. If he’s nervous or excited or both, he does a pretty good job of not showing it. He pulls up some tissues from the bathroom counter and wipes your mouth without batting an eye.

He lays you down on your side, getting you all nice and comfy, before disappearing into the kitchen, returning with a can of ginger ale and a puke bucket, just in case.

“Sweetheart?” his hand is soft and warm on your cheek, and his voice even more so. “Drink up. Hope it’ll settle your stomach a little bit.”

You sit up a little, and take small sips from the can. At least it helps alleviate the bitter aftertaste in your mouth.

“I put your phone on the bedside. Call me if you need me, alright? I’m just gonna run over to CVS. Be back before you know it.” He kisses your forehead, and you make a face in protest.

“I’m gross right now!”

“I don’t care,” he chuckles. “Just rest up. Love you.”

Of course he knows what to do. Picture perfect Bradley Bradshaw, who knows how to be caring without being overbearing. Who kisses your clammy forehead after you puke your guts out. Who is literally running to the nearest drugstore to get her pregnancy test packs right now, for fuck’s sake. He’s just… perfect.

You lie back down and smush your face into the pillow, faced with the fact that you’ll never be able to live up to that. And if you can’t… how the hell are you supposed to raise a child? How the hell are you supposed to pull your weight when your fiance can already do it so well?

“Babe?” He calls out upon entering the house a few short minutes later. “I’m back. I got the…” his words trail off as he walks into the bedroom and sees you in tears. His whole features soften up as he approaches you gingerly, sitting by your side. “Hey… what’s wrong?”

You shake your head as you sit up, sniffling a little. “What are those?” You nod at the paper bag he put down on the foot of the bed, hoping it’ll divert the conversation a little. It’s a little too big for just a bunch of pregnancy test sticks.

“The tests. And some snacks I thought might help with your stomach.”

And with that, the tears burn the corners of your eyes again and your lips quiver as they fail to hold back the cries.

“How are you so good at this?!”

He pauses in confusion, and then… it dawns on him. An amused glint appears in his eyes. “Are you… crying because I got a good bedside manner?”

Your hands fly up to your face, hiding it from view. “I’m not! Shut up!” You really were, but he didn’t have to say it like that… and your reaction only confirmed his speculation.

Bradley chuckles. God, he loves your silly little antics. “I mean, I had to take care of my mom all through high school, so…” he shrugs sheepishly.

You wipe your tears with the back of your hand. An uncomfortable awkwardness sets in as you remember his late mother’s terminal illness, right in the peak of his high school years. “Right. Sorry.”

“It’s okay, baby. I’m just… glad I’m doing it right?” He smiles in reassurance, wiping what’s left of your tears and kissing your nose. He lifts up the ginger ale can to your hand again. “You lost a lot of fluids to make up for. Drink up some more, and we’ll do the tests, yeah?”

You glance at the paper bag again, watching him fishing around… “How many pregnancy test packs did you get?”

“I got three just to be safe.”

You want to laugh, but you probably would’ve ransacked the test kits too, if you were the one to buy it. So instead, you nod slowly, ponderously. “Three is… three is good.”

You know how these test kits work, they’re all the same, but you insist on reading the instructions pamphlet anyway. With two other test kits to spare, Bradley simply takes another copy from another box to read.

“Pee on a stick, wait for up to 5 minutes.” You put down the pamphlet on the counter. “Easy enough.” You sigh like it’s the hardest thing you’ve ever had to do.

And it is. Every tick of the clock feels louder and farther from the one before, and you’re trying your damnedest not to look back onto the counter where the blue-tipped sticks are lined up. Inspecting it up close and see the lines that appear.

You sigh in exasperation, breaking the stilted silence. “I don’t even know what I’m hoping for, if I’m honest. Is that weird?”

He shakes his head a little. “Not at all. This is a weird situation to be in, I think it makes sense if we’re still not sure what we want.”

“Do you know what you’re hoping for?” You turn your head towards him. Maybe you’ll know it when you hear it.

“Honestly? No.” Yes. He knows exactly what he wants. He just doesn’t want to admit it and freak you out even more. “I’m just thinking about you. About us…”

“What about us?”

“Just that… whatever happens, we’ll figure it out together.”

Bless him. It would be infuriating if you weren’t so comforted by it. Leave it to Bradley to always know just the right thing to say.

And he means every word of it too. Yes, he wants a baby with you now, but you don’t, or if it doesn’t turn out to be now, then… he can stand to wait a little more. For as long as you need.

“How long do we have left?”

Bradley joins your gaze towards the nautical clock on the wall. A silly little gag gift you gave him last Christmas, for your favorite flying seaman.

“Three minutes and fifteen seconds…?”

“That’s about the average length of a pop song.”

He grins. “Exactly. One pop song, and we’ll find out.”

You nod. Listening to the tick, tick, tick of the clock. It drones on and on, and it seems to lull slower as it goes. Fuck Einstein and his theory of relativity. You pick the first random song that pops into your head and holds onto it for dear life. It’s your only way of keeping track of the time, at this point.

“I took my love, I took it down…” you sing under your breath, tentatively.

Bradley snorts. “It’s a good song.” That’s an understatement. He adores Fleetwood Mac, and this is the first song he learned on the guitar when he was 10.

“Climbed a mountain and I turned around…” you throw him a side-eye, a more than obvious invitation to join you.

Bradley has his eyes closed, though. But he nods along and sings along in his warm voice, “And I saw my reflection in the snow-covered hill…”

“‘Til the landslide brought me down.”

The two of you are singing with your whole chests now, belting out the chorus to drown out your nerves, forcing yourself to stay on tempo even when you feel like rushing it to the end. Right now, it’s more like Nick Miller’s nervous singing from New Girl than a beautiful bathroom jam session, but you don’t care. Bradley is vocalizing the guitar solo part like the back of his hand, playing the air guitar and everything, and you’re so, so happy that out of all the people in the world, you’re doing this with him.

And at that moment, you realize that your worries earlier today were misguided. Yes, Bradley knows how to take care of you, and he probably knows a thing or two about babies. But he’s on your side. He’ll be pulling the weight with you. Being good parents is not a competition—you know he’ll cheer you on like he is doing right now. He knows you’ll do the same for him, too.

Well I’ve been afraid of changes

‘cause I’ve built my life around you

But time makes you bolder, even children get older

and I’m getting older too

You didn’t notice it at first, but Bradley also softens up on the final chorus, lost in his own thoughts. He has built his life on self-preservation, protecting himself from the lies of the people he loved, and depriving him of the love and family he’s always wanted. But maybe it’s age or the wounds healing (or you swooping into his life at just the right moment)… but he’s not gonna live forever. He knows in his heart of hearts that he wants this baby. He wants this life with you.

When you ask him to look and tell you the results, he doesn’t even flinch. He just nods, kissing your temple as he reaches for all three test kits behind you. His hand shakes a little as he picks them up, though, flipping to see the indicator side. One line for negative, two for positive.

And there it is.

“They’re…” his throat catches, his face unreadable. “They’re all positive…”

“What?”

He shows you the test kits, two blue lines all across the board. His voice wavers, with tears and smiles at the same time. “We’re having a baby.”

“Oh my God…” you walk into his arms in a daze, still not sure what you’re feeling. Are you relieved because you simply know the answer, or relieved because it’s true? Are you terrified because you want it or you don’t?

Bradley cups your face with both hands, tucking unruly strands of hair behind your ear. His brown eyes brimming with tears, blurry as he admires your beauty. The mother of his child. Gosh, he can’t believe his luck.

“How do you feel, honey?”

It tugs at your heartstrings, just how soft he is. So brave, and so gentle at the same time. You have no idea what kind of parent you would be, but you know he would make a great one. “Shocked,” you admit. He nods. “Scared.” This time, you’re a bit embarrassed, but he completely empathizes. “But…” you put your hand over his, closing your eyes as you lean your cheek against his palm, so warm and soft and right, “…happy.”

***

And after two months of a relatively slow life, things are going from zero to 100 very quickly.

Bradley manages to duck out of work early and take you to the doctor that very afternoon. Everything seems to be in order. The baby is, indeed, there— a 7-week-old blob as big as a blueberry with a heartbeat.

Heartbeat.

Your heart all but stops beating when you first hear it, much stronger than you thought it would. But there it is. Strong. Alive.

There.

“That’s… that’s our baby…” You choke up, staring at the ultrasound screen in awe. His hand brings yours to his lips for a loving kiss.

Gosh, you must’ve cried about six times that day. Bradley twice as much (He would deny it to his grave, but you kept count.)

And then, once the novelty wears off a little and the new situation sets in… the two of you get to work.

Bradley updates the entire kitchen inventory and goes into a research (or, as you like to call it, a rabbit hole) into what you can or cannot consume during your pregnancy. You’re constantly on the phone with your agent to rearrange your schedule for the next year (he sounds happy that you’re expecting, but a little inconvenienced that he has to move some things around and even cancel your involvement in a few projects). Conversation topics at mealtimes now include baby names, nursery ideas, and childcare plans.

Bradley comes home to you huddled over your laptop one evening, brows knitted in focus. The AC is cranked up to the max in the summer heat, and you’re all bundled up in the throw blanket. He wants to squee over how cute you look. He puts down the takeout bag of Pad Thai on the coffee table.

“Whatcha got there, my little cocoon?”

“Insurance, mostly.” You look up to kiss him briefly, before you continue typing on. “I’ve been talking to them all afternoon, going through the birth plans and sorting everything out. Very exciting stuff.”

“Hell yeah! Paperwork! The thrill of calling up an insurance company on a Tuesday!” Bradley counters your deadpan with an overexcited cheer, flopping himself on the spot next to you with another big kiss. “Anything I can help you with?”

“Well,” you take a thoughtful deep breath, going through your mental to-do list and realizing… you’re pretty much all set. “How about a back massage?” You give him the puppy eyes, as if you needed it in the first place.

“Copy that, Ma’am.” He throws her a lazy salute and tugs the throw blankets off of you. He starts on your shoulders, noticing the tension under your skin. “Jeez, babe. How long have you been hunched over here?”

Before you can answer him, he’s already working the knots on the base of your neck, you don’t even know you were so tense there, and you respond with a resounding moan.

He raises his eyebrows. “I’ll… take that as a compliment, then.” He grins, ever so proud that he’s eliciting these sounds out of you.

It’s not like you were playing it up or anything. You really were tense, and his hands really do feel good. And while it does make you moan and sigh blissfully, it’s hardly your fault that it makes him think of something else, right?

“Baby…” his voice sounds like a gentle warning.

“Yes?”

His hands stop. “Don’t test me.”

“Oh, okay. Would you prefer this instead?” you grunt oafishly, a piss-poor impression of him in bed, “Fuck baby, that’s it. That’s it. Good girl…”

“Hey!” he pokes his fingers to your side and cage you in his arms so you have nowhere to go. Nowhere to avoid his ministrations.

You giggle uncontrollably, squirming as he gets on top of you, peppering kisses all over your face. A mere distraction to his real tickle attacks. “Stop! Stop! Roo-roo!”

He pins your arms over your head, his cheeks tinged pink with mischief now. “Yield?”

“I’m willing to negotiate.” You flash him a coy smirk.

He frowns. Go on.

You raise an eyebrow. You know what I’m talking about.

He raises his, mirroring you. Interesting…

You tilt your head slightly. Well?

And just like that…

“Deal.”

Your lips meet each other halfway in a searing kiss. The pregnancy hormones are kicking in in full gear, and you’re needier. Much needier than you already are. You want Bradley all the time, in whatever form he’s in, in whatever situation you are in. He knows this, and he finds this endlessly adorable. He would poke fun at you for that…

If only he wasn’t so god-fucking-damned enamored by you for it.

He tears off your dress, reveling in the sheer sight of you. Your curves growing softer, more pronounced in the past month alone. The very subtle but steadfast roundness of your belly. Your breasts, as they grow fuller and—

“Oh…” you whimper as he rolls your nipple between your fingers.

More sensitive to the touch.

“God, you’re so beautiful like this…” he leans down to kiss you again; on the mouth, and on the neck… his tongue gliding across your collarbones, forming the shape of your mounds, one after another…

“Roo, take me to bed…”

“Or what, lose me forever?”

He grazes the outer parts of your nipple with his teeth and teasingly licks at the hardened tops, and you cry out. Such a small little thing, but you feel the sensation in your fingertips.

Bradley smiles. A soft look despite how the situation is escalating. “C’mere, baby.”

With your legs wrapped around his waist, he lifts you up off of the couch. You think it’s just to get you up on your feet, but then he’s not letting go. “You’re not seriously thinking about carrying me all the way upstairs, right?” A teasing frown sets on your face as he hauls you out of the living room.

“Are you assuming that I can’t carry my beautifully pregnant wife to our room?”

“I’m not your wife yet, you know— oh shit!” He pins you against the wall right by the stairs, one hand cradling the back of your head, ever so caring.

He mouths your neck in teasing, his breath fanning against your bare skin. “No? So I don’t have to perform my husbandly duties now, since you’re not my wife?”

It’s kind of hot… but you can’t help but make a face at his choice of words. “You need to stop watching Downton Abbey. Just say ‘fuck.’ It’s not that hard.”

He pulls away, his comeback locked and loaded and ready to go. “You can’t tell me what to do. Who are you, my wife or something?”

“Ugh!” your jaw falls open in a mock offended expression, and you smack his ass playfully.

In turn, he squeezes yours back. Tight. Possessive. There’s a shift in his gaze, a tiny sliver, a darkening—the kind that makes you feel even more naked than you already are. You look at him with unbridled lust, and he kisses you like it’s the only way he can breathe. Like he’s been holding his breath until he can get his hands on you.

And by God, you would let him have all the air you have left to give.

He carries up to the bedroom slowly, carefully, and you hold onto him tight. Reveling in how strong he’s built, all muscles and abs and everything, and how gentle he handles you as he sets you down on the edge of the bed. The epitome of a gentleman, as he kneels down between your legs.

You can feel the heat emanating from him—or is it you?— and you try to unbutton his khaki uniform. “Baby, don’t you wanna take off your…” your words die out as his chest moves out of reach. There is only his hair between your thighs.

His tongue between your folds.

“Fuuuuck…” you bite through your teeth. And once his finger joins in, you’re done for.

You make no effort to hold back your obscene moans, but the wet sounds coming from your pussy are still louder. Your face grows hot as the noise bounces through your bedroom walls.

Bradley pulls his mouth away for a moment, smirking devilishly at you from between his legs. “Well well well… What’s got you this soaking wet, honey?”

You bite your lip, trying to keep it together. But you’re teetering dangerously closer to your release, and you whine out, “You, Daddy…”

He chuckles darkly. “Daddy’s got you all worked up, huh?” The use of the moniker has significantly increased since the news of your pregnancy, but you’re hardly complaining. It does hit different now that he’s actually gonna be one. “I’ve been home for two minutes, and you’re already dripping down your legs…” he slaps the inside of your thigh and you’re keeling into it. “So fucking cute.”

He watches you fuck yourself on his fingers and it makes you dizzy. “Please…”

“Please what?” His mustache tickles your clit, and it drives you wild. “Please stop?”

You whimper in protest.

He adds another finger into you, and raises an expectant eyebrow. This fucking asshole. A snide remark sits right at the tip of your tongue, but the only thing that comes out is,

“Please fuck me.”

He stops, straightening up with an intrigued look about him. Then, being a little shit, he comes back up to you with a kiss. “Good girl. There we go. That wasn’t so hard, was it?”

You taste yourself on his lips, his mustache wet from your arousal, too. In any other case, you would be more proactive, more feral in returning his sentiment—tearing off his clothes and stuffing your mouth full of his cock. But lately you’ve been feeling more… submissive. So easily drunk on climax that you just surrender your pleasure to your man, knowing he’ll take care of you.

Bradley stands up to his full height, towering over you. He toes off his shoes, unbuttoning his uniform. It’s hardly a striptease routine, but there’s something insanely hot about him undressing when he’s about to fuck you.

His shirt drops to the floor, and the white undershirt soon joins. You perk up at the sound of his belt unbuckling, pants rustling down. And as his hard cock springs free from his boxers, you swallow thickly at the sight.

“You ready?” He pumps his fist around his hard-on a few times, as he settles between your legs, still standing on the side of the bed.

A quiet little please escapes you, and then a gasp, as he pulls your hips to the edge of the bed. Lining up his cock against your entrance. He’s big, and your pussy is still aching after he edged you moments ago. It’s gonna be a tight fit.

“Honey, go slow. Please. Slowslowslowslow… ahh!” His cock slides into you in one swift movement, sending a blinding wave of pain and pleasure as it stretches you out.

He doesn’t tear his eyes off of you. He watches your face fall under his undoing, and he moans. “You feel so good, baby…” he says between heavy breaths. You’re always so strong and bold and ballsy, and it gives him a fucking power trip to see you look so… small taking on his cock.

You let out a pathetic whimper as he starts to shallowly thrust in and out of you.

“What is it, baby?” He coos, caressing your hip gently.

“Y’too big…”

“Too big?” Bradley looks down to level your gaze, a seed of a shit-eating grin plastered on his stupid face. “You want me to stop? Is that what you want?”

“No!” You buck up into him as soon as his hips halt, desperately trying to maintain the pace.

He chuckles, that cocky fuck, before he finally continues driving his dick up your inner walls again. “No? You want me to keep stretching you, then?”

You nod. Every thrust feels bigger, deeper, more than the rest, hitting that spot of pleasure just barely, and you’re willing to do anything to stay there.

“Been so needy since I got you pregnant…” he kisses your neck. “Want Daddy more now that I made you a mommy, huh?”

Fuck. The words—the exact order of the words he said sounds batshit insane. You never considered this kind of dirty talk to be hot, but Jesus…

“God, I can’t wait to see your belly all big and round… your tits too, fuck…” he groans as he squeezes your soft flesh, rubbing your nipples with his thumb. “Gonna be a mommy and show everyone who you belong to, huh?”

“Mmh…” You’ve seen Bradley being possessive, and you’ve seen him tap into his primal side, but not like this. This is a whole other beast, and it shocks you how much it turns you on.

“All mine, huh?”

“I’m all yours, Daddy. I’m—fuck. Fuck!” Your whole body is shaking. The band in your core is wound up so tight, and it’s threatening to snap.

And through it all, he doesn’t let up. Bradley keeps that rhythm, pounding into you hard and deep. “Shit, that’s it… that’s it, baby. Come on my cock. God, you’re so fucking tight…”

There’s no stopping it now… your pussy gushes and clenches around him, as shocks of pleasure wave through your system. Your mind goes blank, and for a hot second, nothing is registering in your brain. Nothing but your man, as obscenely as he is fucking your brains out right now,

“Need your cum inside me, Roo…”

“Don’t wanna come anywhere else. Just you, just your pussy…” he breathes out. He’s close, that much you can tell. His pace is erratic and his mouth runs wild. “Gonna keep pumping you full of my cum. Gonna keep fucking babies into you until you can’t anymore.”

You would laugh. You would tease him for being such a caveman about it. But as he comes deep inside you, his hips stuttering one, two, three more times as he rides out his orgasm… you don’t only surrender to the idea; you welcome it.

Maybe you’re completely fucked out. Maybe you’re going soft and mellow, but nothing—and you mean nothing— is hotter than what he wants to do to you.

What he is doing to you now.

The room falls into a pleasant silence as you come down from your high. Bradley pulls out of you, and you gush out with your own release and his. His mouth falls open in awe. “Fuck, that’s hot…”

“Huh?” You lift your head from the bed, trying to see what he’s looking at.

“Nah, it’s just…” he shakes his head with a grin. “Good thing we’re already pregnant, huh? If we weren’t, that might’ve just done the trick.”

You roll your eyes as he gives you a sweet peck on the cheek. “I think the dirty talk alone was enough to do it.”

He blushes, a deep shade of red. He absolutely can’t take it when you quote back the things he said to you during sex. “Nope! Not a single word. La-la-la-la…” he closes his ears with his fingers, waddling over to the bathroom comically.

The sound of water trickling into the toilet coincides with your laugh in the bedroom… and then it gets drowned out with the flush. It’s a mundane little snapshot of your intimate lives together.

He comes up to you and offers his hands. “Come on…” he helps you get up. “You go ahead and clean up. I’ll change the sheets.”

Leave it up to Bradley, to always take initiatives to do the small things, like changing the sheets and ushering your ass to the bathroom after sex.

As you clean up and put on some clothes in the bathroom, Bradley singing Take My Breath Away to himself in the other room, you wonder how all of this will turn out. Change is inevitable—your belly is getting bigger, this new stage of relationship is getting more real— and you’re desperate to get a grasp on these things. It’s strange to be so anxious after such a lovely evening. But it’s been so good so far… too good, maybe… and you can’t help but wonder if the other shoe might drop.

“Everything alright?” Bradley pops up by the bathroom door, already in sweatpants and a t-shirt. You must’ve been in there for a while.

You nod absently. “Yeah, just… changing.” And you’re not sure whether you’re talking about the clothes you just put on, or the body you inhabit.

“I think you look beautiful,” he says so simply. Wrapping his arms around you, feeling your small bump. He smiles into your hair and whispers, “My beautiful wife…”

“Not your wife yet…” you remind him pointedly, teasingly. It’s one of your favorite pastimes, keeping him on his toes.

He turns you around to face him, a tender look seemingly permanent on his face whenever he sees you these days. “I mean, you’re here, with me, in our house, carrying our baby…” he kisses your nose, “As far as I’m concerned, that makes you my wife, doesn’t it?”

Well, when he puts it like that… you take a deep sigh, not hating the idea. But not quite ready to concede to his argument yet. “Apart from a piece of paper.”

“Ah well. That can easily be arranged, hmm?”

Truth be told, he’s got a point. The only differentiating factor to your status right now is a little certificate, and both your signatures on the dotted lines. Not a big party or a horrendously expensive dress that everybody would have an opinion on. And to be more truthful, it was never what you wanted in the first place.

You only ever want to be together.

And you’re free to decide how you want to be together.

“Should we just do it?”

“What?”

You look up at him with a tentative smile.

His eyes light up, and his heart leaps. “I mean, sure.” He chuckles. “We can go down to the courthouse. Or, hell, I’ll drive us to Vegas right now.”

It gets a giggle out of you. Of course he would jump at the opportunity to marry you right away. “Or… we can just celebrate it with our closest friends and family? Rent a beach house somewhere, and just… make a fun weekend out of it?”

“And just… what, get a justice of the peace to marry us?”

You shrug with an easy smile. “Or we can make Mav cry and ask him to officiate.”

He chuckles, but trails off as it sinks in. It has never occurred to him that that was an option. He’s always imagined it the traditional way. A church ceremony followed by a reception in a hall somewhere. Walking under the arch of swords. Looking dapper in his dress uniform. But with his work obligations and yours, and all the nightmare logistics of guest numbers and venues and entertainment and the fucking publicity that comes with your fame, both of you are well aware that it’s a hassle.

And it’s not even the most important part.

The most important part is you. You’d be the one meeting him at the altar. You’d be the one saying your vows and making him cry happy tears.

You would be the one.

For him.

Forever.

“Let’s do it.” Bradley nods resolutely. “Just you, me, and our closest people. We can get married in our jammies, for all I care.”

“Maybe not jammies…” you roll your eyes in amusement. “I still wanna look nice for our wedding, you know.”

“You look nice in your jammies.” He glances down at your tank top.

“Roo.” You cover his line of sight indignantly.

But he tugs your hand away, eyes still glued to what is arguably one of his favorite sights in the world. Your cleavage. Plays it off really coolly as he teases you. “No, no. I’m serious. You look really nice in your jammies. I really wouldn’t object to—”

You swat his hand, only half-serious. “Bradley.”

“Alright, fine!” He raises his hands in surrender. “So long as I get to call you my wife.”

“Not your wife yet…” you saunter out of the bathroom, knowing full well he doesn’t care.

To be completely honest, you’re not even sure that you do, either.

#bradley bradshaw #bradley bradshaw imagine #bradley bradshaw smut #bradley bradshaw x reader #rooster imagine #rooster smut #rooster x reader #the actress & the aviator #ava writes #top gun maverick

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ratinayellowbandana · 6 months ago

Text

lavender thread // a curated imodna playlist

I started curating this playlist over two years ago, and it’s still one of my favorite creations because I put arguably way too much thought into it. I soft-launched this a couple weeks ago, and I was genuinely surprised by how many people checked it out.

It’s in rough chronological order from pre-relationship to post-campaign. Every song goes through a fairly thorough vetting process for thematic appropriateness, accuracy, tone, and genre. For example, if there are too many references to modern technology, days of the week, months, real places, religion, etc., it will likely be cut to build the "world of the story." Imodna playlist, but make it hyperspecific. Like, corpse falling in love with an embalmer specific. (you can find the "rejects" here)

Right now, the playlist is broken into two acts, with a prologue, an epilogue, and a couple of sub-sections sprinkled in. I personally recommend not shuffling, at least on a first listen, so you get to experience the full journey. But hey, I can’t stop you.

This playlist is a constant work in progress. I’ll add new songs I find that feel fitting, and sometimes they live at the bottom of the playlist for a while before I get around to slotting them in. “Dance in the Graveyards” will always be the end of the structured playlist. Rarely, I’ll remove or shuffle a song if I think it doesn’t fit the vibe, the lyrics aren’t specific enough, or it’s just not working.

I’m making this post to share my playlist with anyone else who might want it and to write down my reasoning for every song so I don’t forget it. It’ll be updated as new songs get added. Enjoy!

I laid out my reasoning for each song mostly for my own benefit. You'll see the "section," song title, artist, a little blurb from me, and one/two of my favorite or the most relevant sections of the song. Sometimes, I just had to pick something because the whole song was perfect.

Prologue:

“Stories” - Lilli Furfaro

It’s a beautiful framing device. It’s the premise of the game, the world, the show, and the characters. Fun fact: I found this song two full years before I learned she made a whole Vox Machina album lol.

“We are stories / Bеginnings, middles, ends / Our power lies in living lives that touch a life or two [...] / In this world we’ve built on games of chance / And hours of introspection”

ACT 1

Laudna, Before:

A general note: I looked for songs that were just slightly off-putting with darker over and undertones to match Laudna’s energy.

“Old Churchyard” - The Wailin’ Jennys

Welcome to the world. Foreshadowing and a set-up for the downfall of Whitestone. Speaks to the exhaustion. I imagine a tiny Laudna being ever so hopeful that it might get better but embracing the eeriness of a graveyard in the meantime.

“I rest in the hope that one bright day / Sunshine will burst through these prisons of clay / And the trumpets will sound on the hills near and far / Will wake up the dead in the old churchyard”

“Funeral Bell” - PHILDEL

The aftermath of the banquet. The fear, sadness, and resignation. The sense of relief.

“Oh mother, I’m scared to die. / Where, where do my good deeds lie? / Oh father, I’m scared to live, / Takes more than I’ve got to give.”

“Apple Tree” - Marika Hackman

Hanging from the tree. A crowd gathering. Wanting to be remembered. Enough said.

“Here I hang for the sated crowd / To look upon my eyes, look upon my mouth / And say, ‘We were there that day / I saw a face, heard a sound’”

“Special Death” - Mirah

Asking, “Why me?” A sense of confusion and loss along with the saving of Whitestone. Concludes with the beginnings of the la-la-las.

“But it's a special death you saved / For me, the brown-eyed daughter”

“Ain’t No Grave (Sparse)” - Crooked Sill, Aoife O’Donovan

It’s a little on the nose, yes, but I chose this version specifically for the sense of emptiness it evokes. There’s an implied skepticism of seeing people you think you’re able to trust, specifically “gods’ people” (as I’m choosing to interpret it), and thinking of the clerics who saw a monster. The dismay of being resurrected into a world that hates you. We’ll see if this one sticks; it’s a little heavy on references to Christianity.

“Ain't no grave gonna hold my body down / When I hear that trumpet sound / I'm gonna get up out of the ground”

“Don’t Know Who I Am” - Rebecca Roubion

The distinct loss of identity and a surprisingly apt description. Laudna had no name and no sense of self or what she was. She’s searching for something to identify.

“Black tears on my shirt / Black tears on my freckles / I've been stung by this hurt / I've been stung by a stinging nettle”

“Lying Beast” - Run River North

Running. Running far and fast, leaving home behind. Seeing herself as a beast and being terrified of it. So alone.

“And so I flew away with myself / I was the beast all alone in my hell!”

“Drinking Song” - House Phone

What could she have become if she hadn’t been murdered so soon? We see her begin to play and fantasize and dream and grow.

“'Cause you won't rewrite history / To commemorate the likes of me / And you would not believe me if I tried / To tell you all the things I've seen / And all the places that I've been”

“Mile Magnificent” - molly ofgeography

Starting to explore her magic and Delilah’s influence in her head. It starts to feel... good? The pent-up frustration and anger have a release.

“We bloom beneath the blessings of a goddess with no face [...] / All my better demons have gone the way they came”

“Stolen Roses” - Karen Elson

Digging into the anger, searching for a purpose. Too old and too young at the same time, forced to grow up too fast.

“There once was a time when I was a girl / That darkness hung in my sky / I was old before I learned to be young / Stone cold till I learn how to cry”

“These Bones” - Azrai (ft. Momo O’brien)

Searching for a home, a place to rest. Crossing the sea to Marquet. (The intro, as you’ll hear, foreshadows the pluckier sound of Imogen’s section.) Skeletal imagery.

“I am a long time finding home / I have only ever wandered before / It′s a savage sea we're made to roam / Every tide can turn to haunt us / But the ocean reaches past these ghosts / And I will always sail for more”

“Mountain Song” - Little Chief

A beautiful, adventurous musical introduction. Open to the possibility of new things, still weary, but there’s more here.

“I’ve been living in a hole in the mountain / Ain’t no sins in there / Oh, these memories they keep on following”

This is our transition into...

Imogen, Before:

A general note: I tried to seek out songs with more of a folky-bluegrass vibe for Imogen to match her background.

“Second Child, Restless Child” - The Oh Hellos

I imagine a very young, carefree Imogen. Well before her powers kicked in. I like to think she thought she was a bit of a troublemaker, but anything she did was so endearing and mild that it was sweet. A happy kid with big dreams until the signs of something else started to appear.

“With a spirit running wild, running free / And they saw trouble in my eyes / They were quick to recognize the devil in me”

“I’ve Endured” - Tim O’Brien

Growing up with her father in the mountains and in the fields. The nightmares begin. But this is fine, right? She can handle this.

“I've seen the lightnin' flashin', I heard the thunder roll / I've endured, I've endured / How long must one endure?”

“Wander. Wonder.” - The Arcadian Wild

The powers are coming on strong. Post-nightmares and in pain, nothing she did was good enough. She felt trapped in her own home, shackled by her mind and father, perhaps, as she tried not to let on that she was changing.

“Half awake I wander through this house / Lost in a labyrinth and left with no way out / I built this hall of mirrors all myself / Faces staring back at me look like somebody else”

“Lost in My Mind” - The Head And The Heart

Everything is So Much. Thoughts of leaving but–

“Momma once told me / ‘You're already home where you feel loved,’ / I am lost in my mind / I get lost in my mind”

“Trouble and Woe” - Ruth Moody

The voices are awful, and the world is so bleak. People are cruel. Getting worse, and hoping it will get better.

“This world is full of trouble and woe / All I see is trouble, everywhere I go”

“Little Bird” - The Weepies

People have noticed. Trips to town are much harder. The voices are louder.

“Sometimes it's hard to say even one thing true / When all eyes have turned aside, they used to talk to you / And people on the streets seem to disapprove / So you keep moving away”

“Storm Comin’” - The Wailin’ Jennys

It’s getting worse. Nightmares getting more frequent. Control is slipping. And, you might notice this song is by the same artist as Laudna’s first. I do love a bit of symbolism.

“Will you listen to that thunder roar and let your spirits soar / When that love calls, open up your door [...] / No, don’t run from the coming storm, ‘cause it can’t keep a storm from coming.”

This leads us to…

Connection

General note: a blending of both genres and styles.

“Mostly” - Vian Izak, Juniper Vale

A prelude, almost. Are you real?

“I've bought up all my dreams and sold off most my heart / I'd been lying to myself just to bury all my thoughts”

“Maybe” - The Henry Girls

The timid hope of meeting someone and realizing you feel like you’ve known them all your life. Suddenly, things might be okay.

“I feel like I should know you / I feel like we have met before [...] / And all these things that I don't really understand / Would be much simpler if you'd only hold my hand”

“Dandelion” - Heather Maloney

A moment of peace. I like to think of this as Laudna’s adoration of the natural world and its beauty. Her will to bend the laws of the world to give Imogen what she deserves. And, on a more literal level, to offer Imogen the gift of flowers because Laudna has little else to her name. This song also begins the recurring flowers-in-hair motif.

“I have nothing but these weathered hands / And I live nowhere on this wild land”

“Rain Clouds” - The Arcadian Wild

A connection over shared struggles from both sides. A mutual agreement of trust.

“I’m being frightened by the people / They look at me like I’m a scar upon their perfect skin / Perfect to only them / I’m being shadowed by my past / Reminding me of what I was and what I could become”

“Daylight” - Watchhouse

Realizing that this person might’ve saved you.

“My search was unending, and my soul was bare. And darling you came to me like a midnight flare.”

“The Devil In You” - The Haunted Windchimes

The joy of being seen. Of being known.

“I've walked a long long way it ain't new / Here I sit face to face with the devil in you / It looks a lot like someone I've spoken to / We were broken together it's true”

“Curses” - The Crane Wives

The fear that neither is good enough for the other. Basic choice? Maybe. But it’s too good to pass up.

"Every word I say is kindling / But the smoke clears when you're around / Won't you stay with me, my darling / When my walls start burning down, down, down?”

“Wildflowers” - The Wailin’ Jennys

You deserve better. You deserve the world, and I can’t give that to you. The feeling that this is too good to be true. Surely, it can’t last.

“Go away somewhere bright and new / I have seen no other / That compares with you”

“Bruised Feet” - Haunted Like Human

Laudna’s invitation to leave. Together. An escape from mistakes and the past.

“Do you want to hear the stories these bruised feet could tell / ‘Cause I’ve been chasing sunrises, throwing change in wishing wells / And I’m running to and I’m running from and oh Lord knows that I ain’t done / Running for the sake of running wild, so come with me child”

Unless...

ACT 2

On the Road

“Light in the Sky” - We Banjo 3

And they’re off on a search for knowledge and freedom.

“So if you’re lost in the night / Stuck between the demon and the knife / As it traces a line across your heart”

“Apple Pie” - Lizzie McAlpine

Transient, finding solace in one another. Home after home. How long can this last? This one has a few more references to modern things than I’d like, but I can’t pass up the vibes.

“Every house looks the same in my dreams / Every house feels like home for a couple weeks / I've been runnin' 'round trying to find a place where I can breathe...Home is wherever you are tonight.”

“Almost Home” - Keston Cobblers Club

In search of a person, a place to settle. As long as they’re together.

“The clouds will break the wind will brace these sails of stone / And I have never known a journey take this long / But I'm almost home”

“You and Me” - You+Me

They fit together.

“They say everything, it happens for a reason / You can be flawed enough but perfect for a person / Someone who will be there for you when you fall apart / Guiding your direction when you're riding through the dark”

“Witchcraft” - Vian Izak

I like to think Imogen is... realizing some things, and getting attached. (We all know she fell first.)

“It's witchcraft / And I've got no defense for it / The heat is too intense for it / What good would common sense for it do?”

“For My Emablmer” - Emily June

Laudna’s turn. Still seeing herself as a dead thing, a little confused by Imogen’s friendship but embracing it all the same.

“I hope you know I won't complain / If I decompose and you're to blame / Abandon your duties, lay down next to me / Grab my hand, feel no shame”

“Home to Me” - The Devil and the Deep Blue Sea

Keep coming back to each other regardless of what other people think.

“How dare you love me like you've never known fear / You've got more troubles than minutes in the year / And a voice like your father's tells you nothing good's for free / Well, that may be / But you're walking home to me”

“The Moon Song” - Brittin Lane, Mitchel Morse

Foreshadowing the importance of the moon later. For now, it’s peaceful.

“We're lying on the moon / It's a perfect afternoon / Your shadow follows me all day / Making sure that I'm okay”

“You Are My Sunshine” - Lena Hall

Contrasting the last song, when the moon becomes too much… there’s the sunshine. Specifically for Imogen constantly fighting the pull of the moon, Laudna is the sun, her spark, her light. What happens if she disappears?

“As I lay sleeping / I dreamed I held you / In my arms / When I awoke, dear / I was mistaken”

“Two” - Sleeping At Last

These two self-sacrificial, loyal, dedicated characters. Bonus points for “I will love you without any strings attached.” A double meaning for Laudna and Delilah.

“No, I don't want to talk about myself / Tell me where it hurts / I just want to build you up, build you up / Till you're good as new”

The Campaign

“Growing Up” - Run River North

Apt for both of them as they come into their own. Growing together as they explore the world, adventure with their friends, and learn to take what comes.

“I used to close my eyes / To what stirred under my bed / Now, they're open wide / To the monsters in my head / Instead of claws, they whisper lies”

“I found my way without your help / With broken family / I'll take my breaks with my sins / Do as I do, please / With my friends 'til the end / There lies my loyalty”

“Anything Can Happen” - Tors

Imogen is being pulled.

“But even when I start to dream / Every little piece of me / Gets a little close to the edge of darkness / I know I've been here before / Long as I'm not falling off / I'll be fine”

“Crawl In” - Upstate

Things are getting harder, but they’re seeking comfort in each other after nightmares and bad days alike.

“Crawl in my head tonight / Read my thoughts so I don't have to speak / It's been a long, long week but I'm tryin’ / To make do and stop fussin’ and fightin’”

“Bottom of the River” - Delta Rae

The crickets chirping continue the nightmare-ish theme of the last song. However. Shit’s getting real. Holding onto each other as they sink deeper.

“Hold my hand / Ooh it’s a long way down”

“Raise Hell” - Brandi Carlile

Can’t believe Laura Bailey beat me to this song by 2 days with her Imogen playlist. It’s the perfect mix of angsty and bluegrass-folky. Being born cursed and learning your strengths. May or may not stick because of the substantial references to Christianity, but I do love it for Imogen coming into her god-like power.

“It came upon a lightning strike / And eyes of bright clear blue”

"I'll Bend But I Won't Break" - Red Moon Road

First of all, could that band name be any more perfect? Second, this song is such a good tribute to Imogen's character. The tempo is quick; the drums like rolling thunder; and allusions to dreams, storms, the dark. "Still I will endure" calls back to the second song in Imogen's section, "I'll Endure," and "Still in the eye of the hurricane" is both great storm imagery and foreshadows "Hurricane" which is a song further down the playlist. I imagine this during Otohan Round 1, but it may shift around the playlist depending on how I feel about the flow.

"Lighting lights the sky like it's looking for me / Flashes of the forces the dark has set free / Thunder strikes the land / With the mighty heavy hand / It rocks me to my core / I won't fall down / I'll stand my ground / I'll bend but I won't break"

“Bury Me Smiling” - The Ballroom Thieves

Laudna’s second death. Love and loss.

“I stood in silence / A mind's worth of violence / Strung me a short rope / Round my neck / A love like an old home / Breathes in these dry bones”

“Afterlife” - Haunted Like Human

Laudna on Imogen’s desperate search to get her back. Asking Imogen not to waste her time. The choice to return. I particularly love the chimes. Musical thoughts and the reflection of death.

“So darling don’t go digging up graves / When love is lost the afterlife is a choice you gotta make / So put the nails in the coffin, let them rust in place / But darling don’t go digging up graves”

“The Mountain Song (First Dance Version)” - Tophouse

The “I would do anything for you” of it all. Resurrection. Hope. Bonus points for flower-in-hair motif.

“Well the clouds rolled in / There was lightning there was thunder there was rain / As we hid beneath our shelter / All the doubts that we had felt / Came pouring in as a flood we had to face”

“Flowers in My Hair” - Wes Reeve

Yearning. A bit of good old fashioned wanting what can’t be had. I imagine this is the last of the first Whitestone visit and the orange tree is the golden glow of the sun tree. Whitestone Andy mention? Continuing flower motif.

“I had a dream of a boy who loved me and / We danced in the leaves of an orange tree [...] / Then I went my own way, and you crossed the highway / But just maybe someday we’ll be, my pretty”

“Haven” - We Banjo 3

The Rudius arc is kicking into gear. “You have the biggest spark of anyone I’ve ever seen” vibes.

“The moonlight's a path we can travel down / River runs wild with what has gone before / Cast aside for new and more and more and more and more and more and more / Let me be your haven / Let me be your light”

Moon Arc

“Wax & Wane” - Alana Henderson

Oooh tension. The drama. The moon is affecting the relationship. We’re starting to see a shift to a darker mood around the Solstice and all that’s around it. Mirrors “Moon Song” - “There’s nothing I’d keep from you.” Oh yeah?

“But we bent and we broke and I meant what I spoke / And the blame game does not produce a winner / We went as far as we could go we had to go that far to know / That we had nowhere left to aim / And no one left to blame but / The moon’s wax and wane and the turn of the tide”

“The Moon Will Sing” - The Crane Wives

This reminds me of Laudna during the separation and immediately after, starting to question everything, seeing herself as dark. That extreme co-reliance. Clinging to each other. Is it a good thing? Laudna starting to lean back into Delilah’s burn.

“The moon will sing a song for me / I loved you like the sun / Bore the shadows that you made / With no light of my own / I shine only with the light you gave me [...] / I want to feel the fire that you kept from me”

“Always You” - South for Winter

The rush of reunion. The high-pitched start, disbelief. Then: the warmth of returning to Your Person. Being able to rely on them. A bright spot.

“Should the blood red tides run o’er / Should our nightmares all come true / Should we lose this holy war / I know there’ll still be you [...] Oh my love / The skies are growing colder / Oh, my love / I need you more than ever”

“Tether Me” - Galleaux

In addition to the obvious tether relation, they’re both feeling pulls in different directions: Imogen to the red dawn; Laudna to the darkness of her mind. Being tied to her limbs earns you more puppet symbolism, particularly after Delilah's resurgence.

“For a moment, I was gone / The speed of light into the red dawn / In this space, do I belong?/ It’s dark out here in my own thoughts / Pull me back out of my body / I’m tied to my limbs”

“Blood Moon” - Saint Sister

The moon sure is tempting. The pulls for both of them are getting stronger. Things are getting darker, harder, more intense.

“And so I wonder will those scattered pits / Take root behind your cracking lips / They are always doing that [...] / The hunter’s moon was bleeding red / The night you left our thorny bed / You were always, always”

"Stay" by Haunted Like Human

I try really hard to avoid repeat artists because I feel like it keeps my bias toward one band in check. However. I'm a little convinced this artist is straight-up writing about Laudna at this point. This song isn't quite as musically dark as the other songs by the same artist that have made the playlist. It's a little more acoustic/has more guitar as a connecting bridge to Imogen. Plus, it hits all these specific marks: 1) reassuring that the voice in her head hasn't got the best of her yet 2) begging [Imogen] to stay and to not give up on her 3) apologizing for the weight of her sins and that they're not [Imogen's] to hold 4) addresses [Imogen's] feelings about the voice in Laudna's head.

"Darling you don’t hold me close the way you used to do / And I wonder what you’re thinking when I’m reaching out for you / You’re trying to be patient, yea you’re trying to be kind / But I know that you’re still running from the demons in my mind / But I promise this thing in my head / It ain’t got the best of me yet"

“If We Were Vampires” - Baggio & Hannah Kol

The looming sense that one of them won’t come back. As the end draws near, even if the upcoming fights don’t kill one of them, Imogen will out–age Laudna.

“It's knowing that this can't go on forever / Likely one of us will have to spend some days alone / Maybe we'll get forty years together / But one day I'll be gone or one day you'll be gone”

“Hesitate” - The Harmaleighs

They’re hiding things from each other as the tension builds.

“You keep saying you love me / You keep telling me you’re proud / But you don't know who I am / 'Cause you're not even living out loud”

“Soothsayer” - Haunted Like Human

Not gonna lie this is my favorite song on the entire playlist. It is peak Laudna-Delilah. I would quote the entire song if I could. It’s dark, thematically perfect, and haunting. It's also by the same artist as "Afterlife," Laudna's "death" song to reflect that link. I imagine this is late C3 as Laudna continues to feed Delilah. My favorite line: “The thing that you hate / Is the thing you've become.”

“There's a price to be paid / But ain't that every trade? / You're just looking for strength when you're weak / Oh you know there's a flickering darkness / And it sings out like sirens to you / Yea it's sickly sweet and elegantly violent / But these debts that you take / They will someday come due / Hungry hands reaching up / Crave for more, lust for blood”

“Hurricane” - Bandits on the Run

While still being them having to navigate their relationship in the midst of the impending end of the world, this song brings to light Imogen’s relationship with her mother, too. She meets her mother in the storm.

“They told us run for cover / Stay close to home and mother / Don’t seek out any other”

“Chasing Twisters” - Delta Rae

It’s time. Make or break.

“I was born with lighting in my heels / Sewed a spur onto my ankle / Bit a horse under the steel / And I lost hope when I was still so young [...] / I’ll take you to the grave / The only love I’ve ever known / The only soul I ever saved / And I went home”

Epilogue

At the time of writing, we’re around C3:E95, so from here on out this is even more so my reinterpretation or guesses about the future. I’m hoping to flesh out this section and the middle/end of Act 2.

“Oh Mama” - honeyhoney

Our transition song. The cacophonous high of the last song into the unbelieving stillness of the piano, the end of a battle. The world has shifted. There’s no going back.

“All covered in mud the day is done [...] / Oh mama look at my heart / I’m useless now that it’s dark / We’re praying for rain a thunder of change / And lightning to lighten my way”

“If She Ever Leaves Me” - The Highwomen

Alright, this one’s a little self-indulgent, even more so than the others. But don’t we deserve a little wholesome “we made it” energy? I think it also nicely circles back to and reflects the shift away from the early-on Laudna "I'm not good enough for her; she's going to leave me" vibes we get in songs like "Dandelion," "Curses," "Stay," and even "For My Embalmer."

“I’ve loved her in secret / I’ve loved her out loud / The sky hasn’t always been blue [...] / She loves wild horses and tumbling dice”

“The Time for Flowers” - Emily Scott Robinson

The bookend and parallel to “Dandelion” from much, much earlier. This time, from Imogen’s perspective. Conclusion and continuation of flowers motif. “The skies are clear now. The moon is new.”

“I came upon a woman in a field on her knees / Singing ancient songs and sowing wildflower seeds / Tell me what the point in planting pretty things / In these days of darkness and disease [...] I have witnessed funerals and wars / Worried mothers, empty shelves, and empty stores / The storms will rage and the winds will blow / You are gonna find out that you're stronger than you know”

“Dance in the Graveyards” - Delta Rae

I always knew I was going to end the playlist with this song. It perfectly mirrors “Old Churchyard,” the first of Laudna’s songs. It's also by the same artist as the "climax" of the playlist. The drums give me Laudna, while the folksy sound gives me Imogen. Finding joy in death, in life, in love. Life will go on, new friends and old will come and go. And that’s alright. She’s happy. They’re happy.

“When I die, I don’t wanna rest in peace / I wanna dance in joy / I wanna dance in the graveyards, the graveyards / And while I’m alive, I don’t wanna be alone / Mourning the ones who came before”

If you're listening to the playlist on a loop, you'll return to "Stories." It reminds us that it was all just a story. It will happen again. Stories and characters and people will move us, make us feel and hurt and love. It is an ending just as much as a new beginning.

#imodna #wow sure would love if this showed up in the tag…..#laudna #imogen temult #critical role #am i a little bonkers for this one? maybe #feel free to comment reply interact send an ask etc etc #i have playlist brainrot so like. would happily discuss it endlessly #bonus: you might learn about new artists! bc no hate to anyone but i refuse to put generic love songs on here #cr3 #Spotify

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docilepillow · 9 months ago

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2024 February Media Post Thingy : Featuring Movies Also

I've never really liked doing editing " do-overs". i think if this was like a normal year with no leaping ( As of starting this post a couple of minutes ago ( 4:51 PM ) , i only just learned that this year was a leap year? Just goes to show how little i pay attention..! But yea, on topic, on topic, i don't look back to edit these kind of thought pieces after i write them, it'd feel odd to do so, ,and january's post was a mile and a half to write , so, after finishing the Big Thing for this year, i'm starting the writing on this on the 28th so i dont have to finish it all in one sitting this time. I'm not sure when i'll drop or pick up on it, and its not like, done Live with the month, so the actual timeline of things won't be completely perfectly accurate, but anyways : the things covered here are in rough sequencial order, mostly focused around New Media i've tried this month, with an added blurb about anything ive revisited this year at the very end. I'll try to add a blurb about everything, but no guarentees. Also, i said i'd have more screenshots to share, but i forgot again. A significant number of games here were also on 3ds which i have no good way to get screenshots for. planning is hard This month was heavily characterized by the absolutely wonderful time i had for my birthday and the days surrounding it, because wow, am i in love with my boyfriend! after many, many months spent long distance, i'm extremely glad to say that the first few days of this month were absolutely heavenly, and i do absolutely "get" all the lovey dovey emotional stuff that surrounds it. While he was over, we got to watch a whole bunch of different movies and such, and most of the video game focus was directed towards one big game, being God Of War Ragnarok, which is an absolute behemoth of a triple a game and also one aattached to the very sentimental god of war that i've also shared with him in the past ( they're some of his favorite games of all time, and he's especially knowledge on Norse stuff, so it's cute to listen to him ramble about it whenever actual mythology stuff comes up. Its absolutely adorable the way his voice lights up..! ) So, you'd expect the first piece of media i got through this month would be God of War Ragnarok, after all the time i've spent hyping it up already, while it's still fresh in my mind as of typing, And i'm on a massive, sentimental tangent on it, But...! TRUMP VS ILLUMINATI < Least Romantic Movie I've Personally Made Out With Someone Over >

theres not all that much to say on this movie as the title'd show, actually, and, obviously, the movie's a complete joke, through and through ( the titular protagonist isn't even the real deal, he's just a clone of the guy who lives on mars for whatever reason as the last human alive (?) ); and it's so ameturishly put together that i'm almost certain the entire scripting process of it was put together by looking at the title of the movie and quipping in a discord call brainstorming for a couple of hours, but it's absolutely great for virgining couples beccause you'll want to watch the movie for a bit, a bit that's been going on for i want to say little over three quarters of a year, but then, when you actually get to watching, it, you'lll both decide unilaterally to make out sloppy style instead of watching the movie, wow!

by the way, most of the movie is just weird little stock models talking at each other for what i rememeber being 50 or so minutes. i dont tihnk this is a good movie buut i thought itd be funny to bring up because in a shirtless daze after watching it i had the mortifying realization that this shitty movie was gonna be on the top of my media diary if i chose to go through with it . so here it is ! ! ! CATS & DOGS < tulpa movie >

idk what to blurb about this movie i think its entertainment value comes from the varied" WHAT DOES THIS IMPLYYY " moments in the movie and how like

excessively silly it is im not sure if it was this movie in particular but i have a very specific anecdote of this movie as a child before my parents divorce where i was actually Forced to watch it for some reason with my dad and with an anecdote like that the only thing i can think to say about it is that i think i actually enjoyed it more then Wonka theres some puppetry with the cat villain in this movie thats actually pretty endearing actually. its a decently entertaining spy movie. DOCTOR STRANGE

not having a title for this one isnt like reverence or anything i still watched this with my boyfriend in our little place and it was very enjoyable, and, in particualr, this was actually the first movie i watched of this list that i actually wanted to seek out to watch, actually! i've never been an mcu guy ( And, if you expect my movie reviews to professionalize, with like, research on the actors anything, you're dead wrong, i think , also. i think when it comes to assosiating characters with their actors or whatever celebrity or director or whatever, i just. .dont do that. i can see why normal people do but i dont have that built into me. so if i refer to a character it'll be for their character. ) i think this is a good movie i think this is a neat movie i think this a very pretty movie and i like mister stranges arch alot and i think it was really well characterized and enjoyable and id watch this movie again sometime maybe. im not a live action head but i think this movie just looks cool and is well presented in general. i think as an asshole mister strange is very watchable which is unusal for me cus i wince whenever characters do a thing thats like regrettable like noooo dont do that like an autistic weirdo but that wasnt really a problem with me for this movie i think its cool how this prick gets grounded by the fantastical shit in the movie and i think his little mini arch over the movie really stands out as a good character piece. thats all i have to say about it as someone who doesnt super hero movie this movie movies really good and stands on its own. i think its cool. i think this is a very enjoyable movie. i think people should watch it if theyre on the fence on it beingg mcu bc i dont think its like thoose other movies at all. im repeating myself. w/e Alot of early febuaary is characterized by movies bc i want to make it clear that the main game i played in that arch of time was God of War, and there were very much Not Media things that were more pressing for my time. lol VIDEO GAMES!!!! VIDEOVERSE < Most Heartwarming Eboy Game >

the docism i picked for this game sounds demeaning but thhis game is absolutely worth i think everyones time and if theres a game from febuary i'd make as a general reccomendation to my friends, it'd be this one, i think! it's an absolutely heartwarming narrative about an early 2000s era internet community that's being shut down, and its very resonant to at least Me, as a wii u / 3ds era fan

though it kinda melds that kinda stuff with a more early internet aestetic , which i think the combo works Really Well in terms of like vibe alone. the game is very naked with how it presents an early internet community and id describe it as being like hypnospace outlaw but without you the player being in the seat of like an internet moderator. Like you can moderate in the game a little bit but it's much less of a focus compared to the being in a game community with your friend aspect

this games a very well executed narrative about this emmet guy ( in the image above this one, he's on the far left of the screen ) and playing it as the first non GOW game of the week was definitely a choice i made that made me kinda sappy and clingy ( since its very much about the internet anxiety of losing a bunch of friends you care about due to dumb internet social media crap, which feels pretty well timed with this whole tumblr drama going on. also, as someone in a long distance relationship, the romance thing in this game also is pretty relatable in parts )

idk! its a very short game. i played it on deck and it was a very short but sweet pair of game sessions. i think if u like what you see here i reccomend giving it a shot if you're looking for a visual novel . ithink it is cute. if you like cute things this game is for Cute PRINCESS REMEDY IN A WORLD OF HURT < cute em' up where nobody has to die ! >

i actually falsely appraised this as gameboy color style when its supposed to be dos evokative. i knew i was missing something.

this is a free top down shmup game from steam about a cute healer girl! the game has really cute writing and is about an hour long. i think the writing makes it worth giving a try if you have an afternoon! the final boss is litearlly a guy with Every Disease that also has a refrence to ff6, so me being charmed by this game was kind of a given. Oops! I think more people should look at this game! it's worth it !

also, since everyone in the world of hurt has some kind of injury for you to remedy, some of the ones that get picked out are pretty amusing, also. its usually structured around " heres the problem with me " dialogue and " thank goodness im better " dialogue. this game is also for the gays because u can marry whoever you want after the credits. Yay! SUPER MONKEY BALL 3D < worst game icon ive ever seen for a video game award >

the games just kind of mediocre and the only reason i downloaded it is bc it was on 3ds and i just want to point out the games icon is Just a low resolution picture of ai ais face on a white bg. i think thats funny but the games so easy that thats pretty much the only novelty you'll extract of it if youre a monkey ball fan. oops .

something like this ive spent longer trying to find this games home menu icon then thinking about the game after playing it sorry i dodnt think this game is worth that just kind of sad

MEGAMAN XTREME

no reverence for this either pretty much all the games thatre gonna be talked about thatre on 3ds were just me looking through hshop slightly interested in something to do while waiting for my bf to wake up for more gow

all i can really say is that this game is a gameboy demake of the x games thats just slightly worse and going in with that expectation is correct but also its just Really annoying sometimes is very much a game where the levels are short and easy and the boss fights are kind of choppily designed and difficult and i think finishing this game was kind of more of an act of stubbornness then anything. theres this one boss second to last from sigma thats just killing this boss that spams 4 nearly undodgable spammy fast projectiles while you're on two tiny platforms over death spikes and i think that kind of speaks for how much id reccomend this ( not at all ) i think this is the angriest ive been at a game in a bit actually remembering it . i think i said a funny misnomer about it but i dont remember. something about this contributing to why mega man fucking died or something. im realizing i didnt actually consume alot of good media this month took a break writing this on leap day and umm FIRE EMBLEM WARRIORS ( The 3ds version ) < POPCORN VIDEO GAME >

as someone whose never played a dynasty warriors type game this was actually a little less boring then i was expecting it ? you'd assume picking the switch or wii u version would be more ideal, but, as someone whose favorite console is the 3ds , and considering it'd take less time to download to my system, i ended up picking this version. it actually runs pretty well and my only real complaint is that the character i wanted to play as is thuroughly stuck into the post game ( Celica from FE echoes ).

functionally this is kind of just a game that exists to be a stim device while you're in like a voice call or something but at that its pretty good from what ive played. used minerva for most of it and it wasnt too hard but not especially annoying either. its okay. i never got to unlock celica though ( bummed out ) and its not bad at all for somemthing i pretty much only played to pass the time between when my BF was awake to watch me play god of war, which it succeeded at. ive played every FE naturally available on the 3ds. TOM AND JERRY WILL WONKA & THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY

huh what happened howd this happen

guh MARIO MAKER 3DS

game i actually owned legitimately that i forgot i did. technically since the games are going down in a month from now this is my way on reminicing on Maker in general , but i mostly just reflected back on itt as a cute wii u memory and that cute packet that comes boxed with the game. the 100 or so challenge levels in this are neat but not Especially special. kind of existed to pad out the games i've tried and finished this year so far to an even 15. its not bad or anything, it did remind me of a few interactions i didnt know about before. maybe sometime before maker 2 goes down ill finish making that super world i started on when the game was new... putting all my thoughts togetherrrrr GOD OF WAR RAGNAROK

Igod of war ragnarok is pretty cool. for context, im pretty sure the first game of the i wanna say ps4 " duo " of norse GOW games are the two video games that both started me on my ps4 journey recently and got me and my boyfriend together? which i think is very sweet its also very unexpected cus other then being a soft mythology nut i dont see how id get into these kinds of games naturally, considering i'm less genre savvy when it comes to i guess " modern-style " story focused 3d adventures. Considering i'm a nintendo head, these could count as some of the only super duper gamerhead games i've ever played? though i don't know if it means anything when i say that . i think this game definitely needs the groundwork of the first gow to stand up, but, thats not a bad thing, its a very well thought out start to end NARRATIVE, and its a really good one at that. lots of well thought out character interactions and setpieces,a friend of mine described it as a universal ride-style game , and , in terms of linearity, it kind of IS that, but in like the most postive way i can think of in terms of the kinds of games i play , this is probably the drop-dead most prettiest game i've ever looked at from start to finish ( When it comes to detail and realism, i mean. .i think its very pretty to just look at the environments n stuff ) god of war ragnarok is pretty cool. for context, im pretty sure the first game of the i wanna say ps4 " duo " of norse GOW games are the two video games that both started me on my ps4 journey recently and got me and my boyfriend together? which i think is very sweet its also very unexpected cus other then being a soft mythology nut i dont see how id get into these kinds of games naturally, considering i'm less genre savvy when it comes to i guess " modern-style " story focused 3d adventures. Considering i'm a nintendo head, these could count as some of the only super duper gamerhead games i've ever played? though i don't know if it means anything when i say that . i think this game definitely needs the groundwork of the first gow to stand up, but, thats not a bad thing, its a very well thought out start to end NARRATIVE, and its a really good one at that. lots of well thought out character interactions and setpieces,a friend of mine described it as a universal ride-style game , and , in terms of linearity, it kind of IS that, but in like the most postive way i can think of in terms of the kinds of games i play , this is probably the drop-dead most prettiest game i've ever looked at from start to finish ( When it comes to detail and realism, i mean. .i think its very pretty to just look at the environments n stuff ) ( I have screenshots of the game on my ps4, but as i'm a day late to uploading this in the first place, i'm too lazy to both fetch them with my capture card and upload them to an image sharing site, so here's a picture of Jalla, a cute cow critter you get to ride in the game thaat made me very happy . )

I've heard of games that take up entire segments of people's lives for months , and while i've played lots of " longer " games, gow despite being shorter then something like SMT 4 is definitely one of the first games i've played thats been defined like that to me. i dont wanna say too much on the plot because i think these games are worth playing back to back on their own merits, though for me the experience definitely was raised above by , you know, sharing it with the love of my life, haha. its very cute to listen to someone visibly light up when talking about a game and its definitely my boyfriends infectiousness for the game that motivated me to keep coming back to it and dig for all the little details, even if i play 3d games like this like a game's journalist.... but yea god of war is really good i dont want to spoil anything on it but even if you haavent played the past games but have a ps4 and an appreciation for storytelling, i'd definitely reccomend it. Surprisingly cozy, heartfelt story on parenting and war and lingering regret n junk. also i like mimir alot hes silly and brok theres alot of characters in this i like alot

if you know you know TERMINATOR 2

oh yea i watched terminator 2 also very gripping very cool top moms in media for sure i can see why this is a classic movie it abosluely rocks and i was technically present for the voice call where they watched the first movie but i wasnt paying attention to it at all whoops thats technically the last of the new media i did but i also tried out a pokemon X nuzlocke and i replayed king of cards which was really fun and i remembered how much i liked madam meeber

the nuzlocke was a disaster but i actually did do it so winner

im sure there was other stuff too but im tired of typing and i forgot CLICKING SEND!!!!!

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writinggremlin · 4 months ago

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YES YES YES YES YES OP FUCKING GETS IT OUGH!!!!!

Fuck it, it's infodump time.

So. Ember and Alternos both have a power that is very similar to what's being described. The way my version works is that they telepathically plant subtle seeds of suggestion in the very back of somebody's mind. When certain "seeds" are planted in just the right way at the right times, they can grow into a path that leads the person to a desired conclusion.

They can't directly control someone's thoughts, only set start of a spiral. This does mean that someone can spiral in the wrong direction and reach the wrong conclusion, especially if Ember or Alternos try to just "set it and forget it", so to speak. They can plant other seeds to help guide them, but ultimately the "victim's" thoughts are still their own.

And because it's their own thoughts that originated (mostly) organically from themself, they fully believe whatever conclusion they're being made to reach.

This power might not seem like too much on it's own. After all, all they can do is nudge. All they can do is place a near-silent question in the back of one's mind. "What if (blank) was real?"

But, if you mix that with verbal suggestions and coaxing, suddenly this seems like it could actually a very valuable tool for manipulation. Suddenly the topic's changed to (blank). Suddenly, it's starting to almost seem like (blank) really could be real.

But isn't (blank) dangerous? Deadly, even?? Wait-- You've been in danger this whole time and haven't even realized?! Oh no, this isn't good!! What are you going to do about this?! What can you even do?! You can't protect yourself, you don't know how! And it's not like anybody else can--

"I'll protect you."

You don't even notice that they've just responded to your thoughts. Maybe because that's normal. It's always been that way, hasn't it? "You will?"

"Yes. I know how to defend you against (blank). As long as you're with me, you won't get hurt."

Oh. That's very kind of them. They're always so thoughtful. "Thank you."

As long as you're with them, you'll be safe. Of course, they know exactly how to deal with (blank), it makes sense. ...But what will happen when you have to go home? (Blank) will still be there, and you'll be completely defenseless!

"You can stay the night at my place, if you'd like. That way, I'll always be around to protect you."

That doesn't sound like a bad idea, actually. A slumber party with a friend. Why not? They're so kind for offering to protect you like this-- they really didn't have to.

Except... as the night goes on, you find yourself spiraling deeper and deeper. You find it difficult to even sleep through the paranoia and fear. And by morning, you never want to leave their side again, because you believe-- no, know that as soon as you do, you're dead. Thankfully, they're kind enough to let you stay. Before you know it, you're living with them, and you couldn't imagine it being any other way.

Ack-- ok. Sorry-- I just went off on a blurb tangent there lmfao. That was meant to be a quick example, but nothing is ever quick with me istg lmfao.

But ye, that's kinda how it works. It just kinda sneaks up on you and by the time you realize it (IF you realize it), you're already too deep to escape.

I was actually starting to write a CYOA thing a couple months ago that featured Ember, and I had planned for her to use this power on the reader in a couple routes. I only finished one ending to that thing so far though, and I haven't touched it since. Though, if you liked that little tangent blurb up there, then you're gonna love these quotes from it:

You glance to the side, spotting a couple of chairs. Chairs are useful. You could smack her with it! O-or use it as a buffer! Or a shield!!

You attempt to grab one, but felt a strange tug of hesitation keeping you in place. Is that really what you want to do?

Do you really want to fight?

"Hey there, dear." Ember's oddly soothing voice snaps you back into focus. You glance down at your dagger. It feels strange in your hands.

Wrong.

Everything feels wrong.

-----

Tell me now, what exactly does-- He want with me?"

You blink, faltering for a moment. He... never really told you. "I... I was never told anything about that. I'm sorry. If you would like, I can take you back Home so that you may ask him directly." A little lack of information can't stop you.

Though in the back of your head, you can't help but wonder...

"No. I don't think you'll be taking anyone anywhere today. I must ask you though..." She takes a step forward, "Should you really trust someone who doesn't give you the full story?"

You don't respond, too busy processing the question that had just been solidified in the forefront of you mind by her saying it out loud. It was a valid question too. Why did you even trust him? Was He lying? Had He been doing so this entire time?

The signs were there. They've always been there. You've been suspicious for a long time.

You've always been wondering about this, haven't you?

-----

I'm afraid you misunderstand." Ember interrupted, voice steady and determined, "You're not going to be taking anybody anywhere today."

Your heart starts to pick up pace. "What do you mean? I'm not-- I can't--"

"You can. I'm not coming with you no matter what you try, dear. You can't win, and you know that."

Once again, she was right. This entire time, you had been trying to convince yourself that you could achieve the impossible. How foolish.

...or maybe you're not foolish, but blind. Blindly loyal. Blindly determined.

You look at her, brow furrowed, "But I can't go back without you either. What am I supposed to do?"

"You already know."

"I do?"

"You do."

...You do. You already know. You've always known.

Congratulations, you've unlocked basically the entire first half of that one ending I wrote lmao. There are a couple spots that feel wonky to me, but what I currently have is only the first draft, so I'll be able to fix those spots later. ...If I even continue to work on it-- idk if I will. Currently in a writer's block rn. (I say even though I spontaneously wrote that blurb earlier lmfao) (the creativity is definitely there, it's the getting it out of my brain part that's being a pain)

Anygay, yeah! That's my infodump on this type of power! I absolutely love messing around with it-- it's so interesting to me.

OH YEAH!! Actually, a couple last little details I want to mention here--

1.) Not everyone is able to fall victim to this power. It's more likely to work on those who are easier to manipulate, or have been abused and/or conditioned in the past.

2.) Fun fact: Ember doesn't have many secrets she keeps from Mist, but the fact that she has this power is one of them. She rarely ever uses it in the first place. Mostly it's used as a last resort, in order to get someone to do something that she believes is best, or at least to make them understand where she's coming from. She has used this power on Mist before, but Mist has never been able to figure out what happened, despite being very confused a couple of times when it ended.

Ok. Now I'm done lmao. Thanks for tuning into my infodump. Cya next time! Have a lovely day/night/life! Bye!

Super secret unrelated bonus soup: I've thought quite a bit about interesting ways of hypnosis and mind control, if you couldn't tell. One of the things that got my thoughts going one day, was the way Demyx (hi if you're seeing this btw. Your writing is on my mind quite often, actually) wrote vampire!Oliver's hypnotic powers. Of course, it was fitting that a hypnotic book would be his personalized method, but the uniqueness of the idea really got me thinking...

What other mundane tasks could be turned into a hypnotic induction?

I pondered that once while I was mixing syrups and creamer into my coffee, watching the way the liquids swirled around and mixed together, and then I realized. Watching somebody mix a drink can be quite mesmerizing to watch. Eyes traveling downward as they watch a liquid getting carefully poured into another. Finding that they're unable to look away as you spend an unknown amount of time watching the new, heavier liquid slowly sink and settle at the bottom. Then watching a spoon or stirring rod go around and around and around as it mixes them both together; the drink changing color in the process.

By the time it's ready, you've nearly forgotten that you even ordered it. ...It almost doesn't even matter at this point. That was so satisfying to watch, maybe you should order it again just to see more.

Anygay-- so now I have an unnamed oc who works at a boba or coffee shop or something, who can hypnotize people by making drinks in front of them. But making them a bartender is also quite enticing. All the drunk people who are so easily mesmerized by the simplest things... eh-- I'll figure it out lol.

Anygay-- that's all! For realsies this time! Cya!

Mind control that doesn't dominate your thoughts, it just... is your thoughts. Perfectly rewriting your will and everything it embodies. Not a single trace of resistance because this is just what you want. Why would you resist your own thoughts? Why would you disagree with your own motivations, your own desires?

Mind control that doesn't shatter once it's done, it just disappears. You don't snap back into awareness. You barely even notice. You just continue as if nothing ever happened. Maybe one moment you look back and you frown, because thinking on it, you remember when you happily followed that person out of town, and you remember what you did, you remember wanting to... but that's crazy. Why did you think that was okay? Why did you want to do that?

Or maybe you were under this mind control for so long that even once it's over you look back and say, "Oh, of course I did that." As far as you're concerned you've always held the beliefs you do now. You've always wanted to do these things. You don't remember why, but you've never had to think of why, and it doesn't matter anyway when you've always been so confident that you're right. It isn't until you're challenged on it all and reminded that you never used to be like this, that you were different before, that something has changed that you finally falter. And you try to think of where this all started, try to figure out why things changed -- and all you can really remember is an entrancing pair of eyes, and a gentle suggestion, and then your own mouth responding, "That's a great idea. Let's go."

And suddenly, you realise that you have no idea how much of what you are, what you were, and what you believed you always have been is just a lie. You don't know whether any thought you have now is really yours or just another preciously placed prompt. You don't trust your impulses, you don't trust your desires, you definitely don't trust your judgement.

You don't trust yourself. And you never can again.

#oc soup #ember #alternos #the drink maker #that's their placeholder name for now #idek their gender. might be she/her pronouns. idk yet. I just know their basic personality and that they have a mullet. also they're pretty.#oh- and for that tangent blurb- if you wanna know who was speaking with the reader there- in my head it was alternos. idk what (blank) is th #*tho. that's purely a placeholder. whatever it is I can at least tell you that it's objectively not real and a rational person wouldn't eve #entertain the idea because it's that unrealistic. we're talking straight up conspiracy.#Anygay-- I've been at this for the past 3 hours I need to sleep now. goodnight.

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lovecanyon · 2 years ago

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🎃 HARRYWEEN 🎃 INSTAGRAM BLURB!

harry x director!y/n

MASTERLIST | PATREON

liked by harryfan2, ynfan6 and 502,916 others

stylesdaily Y/N arriving at The Forum this afternoon already in her #Harryween costume!

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harryfan3 i’m dead.

ynfan8 EXCUSE ME WHAT???

harryfan5 she’s all i want 😭

ynfan10 harry really won at life marrying y/n

harryfan4 Y/N WENT ON THE FERRIS WHEEL WITH FANS!!!

ynfan7 i am so jealous

harryfan9 she won harryween already 😌

ynfan11 she’s a cowboy?!?! oh my godddd

harryfan13 i seriously love her

ynfan15 MRS. STYLES KEEPS ON EATING AND EATING

harryfan17 she’s so hot without trying

ynfan12 best harryween costume ever

yourinstagram via stories

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yourinstagram 10 minutes into trick or treating marley decided he hated it! happy harryween!

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harryfan20 THEIR SON’S NAME IS MARLEY?

ynfan23 i am on the floor sobbing

harrystyles He just wants to see his daddy preform.

yourinstagram he really does!

harryfan25 harry and y/n are so special to me

harry_lambert marley and his bestie ❤️

ynfan21 y/n arrived at the forum so early in her costume today because her son hated trick or treating 😭

annetwist the sweetest little lions 🥰

harryfan27 he’s really growing up so fast

mitchrowland marley is me.

ynfan24 harryween is already one of the best days ever

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harryflorals HARRY ON STAGE TONIGHT DRESSED AS DANNY ZUKO!

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harryfan30 I’M YELLING

ynfan39 y/n’s husband has me in a chokehold 😌

harryfan35 she goes home to him…i’m so jealous of her

ynfan31 i’ve been waiting for this my whole life

harryfan33 I REALLY NEED HIM

ynfan37 i’m crying over this 😭

harryfan40 he slayed so hard

ynfan43 i will not stop talking about this moment

harryfan38 HARRY AND Y/N HAVE THE BEST COSTUMES EVER

ynfan41 somebody sedate me

harryfan45 your man is so hot @yourinstagram

yourinstagram added to their stories

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yourinstagram real footage of me and harry today!

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ynfan50 IS THIS WHY Y/N WAS DRESSED IN PINK EARLIER

harryfan52 she’s literally living the dream

harrystyles You are the Sandy to my Danny.

yourinstagram i love you so much darling ❤️

gemmastyles you both are so cute!!!

ynfan54 harry and y/n were sandy and danny in another lifetime

harry_lambert one of the sweetest couples ever

harryfan57 they are my parents 😭

jefezoff months and months of memorizing grease dances paid off

ynfan59 i seriously adore y/n and harry so much

pillowpersonpp loved twinning with you!!!

yourinstagram we are doing it again next year

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watchmegetobsessed · 3 years ago

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SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE

A/N: i am so excited to post this fic, because it is a collab with @harrysfolklore !! it means that the story has a pair over on her blog, a blurb that features the instagram posts included in this fic! head over to her blog and check out her blurb as well!!

PAIRING: Harry Styles X Famous!Reader

WORD COUNT: 5.6k

SUMMARY: You're in a PR relationship with your long time friend, Pete Davidson. Hosting SNL along with Harry as the musical guest, you are hoping your fake relationship will spark some jealousy in the british singer you've been crushing on forever.

MASTERLIST

“There, it’s out,” you grin at your phone, placing it to the coffee table, knowing well your socials are blowing up at the moment like never before, but that’s exactly what you wanted.

“Have I told you lately how crazy you actually are?” Pete laughs, sprawled out on your couch as if it was his home, but in a sense it’s him as well. Having been friends for over a decade, he comes and goes in your house like he owns it and you do the same at his. There’s no taboo in your friendship at this point. That’s why you asked him to be your PR boyfriend for a couple of weeks, at top two months.

“Um, excuse me? Is that how you talk to your girlfriend?” you ask pretending to be hurt, but he then pretends to throw up so you throw a pillow at him laughing.

“Stop abusing me, I’m helping you!” he protests, but can’t hold his laughter back as he grabs another pillow and attacks you with it.

He really is helping you in a lot of senses. Your PR team has been in your ass all month to get you to do something that would bring you attention with your upcoming SNL hosting and your next movie’s premier. You never liked these fake deals, but they do help with the attention, people go crazy for these stunts and most of the time they don’t even realize it’s not real. Like the time you were papped moving out of your exboyfriend’s place just weeks before the release of one of your movies when you were still happily living with him, or the time someone “leaked” some personal photos of you when your movie needed more attention, but of course, you handpicked all the photos from your own phone. The same is happening now with you and Pete pretending to be a couple, your fans have been wanting to see the two of you together for the longest, because apparently, there is no true friendship between a man and a woman.

Bullshit.

But they don’t have to know that and they are getting what they want now, just in time before you’ll be the next host on SNL with the musical guest as Adele. Then in a month, your new Netflix movie premiers, you’ll parade on the red carpet with your best guy friend, act like a couple and have a blast, just to announce your break up not much after. It will play out perfectly, though you have something else planned with your fake relationship.

Nothing gets a guy’s attention more than jealousy. While the world has been dying to see you with Pete, you’ve had your eyes on someone else. And that man is Harry Styles.

You religiously believe that there is no woman on this Earth who doesn’t have a crush on him. It just seems impossible. You remember watching videos of One Direction when they were still going strong together and you couldn’t take your eyes off of that one curly haired member with the pretty green eyes.

When you first started running in the same circles as him once you had your break through, you were on the edge to finally meet him at a party, an award show or practically anywhere. And then it finally happened, at the most iconic place, the MET Gala.

You still remember how his hand wrapped around yours when he introduced himself, the way he repeated your name when you said it, testing it out on his tongue, you were about to faint in the middle of the whole event. That would have definitely made headlines: “Young actress falls unconscious upon meeting Harry Styles.”

You ran into him a few times throughout the evening, but because he was one of the hosts, you couldn’t have him for as long as you wished. A few small talks, even a photo taken together and you went home with his smile stuck in your head, graved into your memories forever.

Since then, you have crossed paths a few times, but it never seemed like he wanted anything more than just a friendly relationship in the business, while you were crushing on him like a lovesick middleschooler since day one.

With this PR relationship, you are hoping to get him jealous enough to change all of that and get his attention. Is that petty and childish? Definitely, but you couldn’t come up with a better plan.

“You think Boyband will now take an interest in you?” Pete asks, snapping you out of your thoughts. He reaches for his beer from the coffee table as you cross your legs and hug the pillow he threw at you. He’s been calling Harry Boyband ever since you told him about your little crush on him and you know him better than to try to get him to stop doing it. He is too stubborn so you’re just living with it.

“If not, I’ll just jump at him next time I see him somewhere,” you scoff joking.

“Public sex, nice!” Peter grins and you just roll your eyes, grabbing your phone from the table. Opening up Instagram, you are pleased to see that people are going nuts about your post with your new beau. You scroll down the comments and like a few ones, replying to what some of your friends wrote and then close the app, letting them process the news, hoping that one particular British singer has seen the picture as well.

It’s been a week since you’ve started dating Pete and things have been going well. You’ve been doing the same thing you always do, grabbing lunch together, going shopping and hanging out, only this time you hold hands on the street and he kisses you sometimes, no big deal.

You’re not freaking out about it, because it’s not the first time. Years ago, you both got drunk and ended up having sex, but it was awful and awkward, at one point, you couldn’t stop laughing. You both promised then and there that it will never happen again and you knew that neither of you could look at the other one as more than just a friend. There was no chance any of you would catch feelings and a kiss on the lips is not the end of the world, you think of it as just another gig, a movie where you have to kiss someone you are not actually dating.

Your SNL promo pic went out a few days ago along with the announcement of you hosting. To say you’re pumped to be on the show is an understatement, it’s been a dream of yours for so long. Pete always told you he could get you an episode, but you told him not to. You wanted them to ask you, to want you because you were good enough and not because you knew Pete. The day has finally come!

What was weird is that you saw nothing about the musical guest. The announcement should have happened along with yours, but it’s been radio silence in that department.

You’re at Pete’s place when the announcement finally happens, but it’s not at all what you were expecting.

“Hey, you didn’t tell me Boyband is gonna be the musical guest in your episode,” Pete casually throws it in when you’re making dinner in the kitchen. He is sitting on the counter while you’re cutting the vegetables. The knife falls from your hand and you turn to him with a puzzled look.

“What the fuck are you talking about?”

He looks at you as if you had two heads, but you have no idea where he is coming from.

“Your little lover, he is gonna be the musical guest on the show. You didn’t know?”

“You think I would be this calm if it was the case?” you snap at him throwing your hands into the air. You love him, but he could be so stupid sometimes.

Pete shrugs and then turns his phone to show you the screen. Your heart drops when you see the SNL promo picture of him, posted to his Instagram, announcing that he’ll be performing at the next episode. Your episode.

“Pete, you’re on the show, why didn’t you tell me?!” you growls at him, checking if there are more posts, but it’s just this one so far.

“You think I pay attention at the meetings? I go there for the free food,” he grins, taking his phone back, snatching it out of your hands.

“What happened to Adele? Why didn’t they tell me about the change?” you throw around all your questions, still unable to process. You’re going to be on SNL with Harry Styles, your biggest crush ever.

“This is going to be your time! You can jump his bones on live TV!” Pete teases you, but you throw some carrots you just put at him.

“I think I’m gonna throw up. Like, actually.”

“Please don’t do that in my kitchen,” he grimaces. He is definitely not getting how serious this is. You won’t be just having quick little chats with Harry, you’ll be working with him on a full episode.

This is going to be your chance.

Harry is not big on using socials. He used to be, keeping full control of his Instagram, posting whatever he felt like when he was still in the band, but not so much in the past years. The photos going out on his page are usually posted by someone from his team, several people have access to the account and they make sure his profile is well-kept and professional.

However he still likes to snoop around on others’ profile.

From time to time he checks what’s been happening online, likes the pictures his friends posted and if he is feeling like it, he even comments on some of them, though this latter is a rare occasion.

He is having a late lunch at home when he decides to open Instagram and have a look at the buzz online. His promo picture for SNL went out just yesterday, he had to step in for Adele because she got the flu and she knew she wouldn’t be able to perform the way she wanted. Adele suggested Harry herself for the team on SNL and everyone loved the idea to have him on the show. A few calls later, it was all fixed and done.

And the most exciting part of it? That you’ll be the host, meaning that he gets to work with you.

Harry has been crushing on you since the first time he saw you acting in a romcom. He remembers seeing it with a few friends ages ago, you were a lot younger, playing a teenager and you might have been one at the time as well. He was in his early days with One Directions, very young and eagerly looking for his role in the world.

The movie was some no name, random film that didn’t really got too popular at the time, your break through came just a few years after that, but even in the terrible old movie, he couldn’t take his eyes off of you.

Secretly, he followed your career all along. He has been your number one fan since the beginning and kept an eye on you at all times.

The first time he actually met you at the MET he was shitting his pants, to say the least. He knew you’d be there and when he was you in your custom gown, looking more gorgeous than ever, he felt like a nervous little boy, his palms were sweating and he thinks he talked a bunch of nonsense whenever he met you throughout the night. He was completely enamored by you and also so starstruck that he couldn’t even get himself to try to shoot his shots.

He felt like you were totally out of his league.

With you on his mind he wanders over to your page now as well. From time to time he likes to check what you’ve been up to and he loves your daring style in real life and on your social media profiles as well. You ooze confidence, giving away the biggest girl boss vibes.

You never disappoint him with your posts, but this time his stomach drops upon seeing your latest pictures.

One of them is not that big of a surprise, your SNL promo picture is looking as wonderful as he would have expected, but the photo posted before that is what knocks the breath out of his lungs.

You look as breathtakingly beautiful as always, but you’re not the only one in the photo. Pete Davidson is right there beside you and though Harry knows you’ve been friends with him for a long time, this picture is not a friendly one, especially with the caption underneath.

It’s a post that makes your relationship with him official. You are dating Pete Davidson.

“Fuck,” he growls, feeling like he has lost all hope to shoot his shots with you now that you’ll be working together. You even left a comment on his SNL post and it got his hopes high that this time he might not chicken out and make a movie. Well, that goes out the window now.

He is quick to fall down the rabbit hole, checking out more photos of the two of you, grabbing lunch together, getting caught leaving each other’s place and even kissing at a café. The bitter taste in his mouth just gets stronger with each photo he digs up from the internet, especially because fans are praising the new power couple.

He could throw a tantrum, jealousy is rushing through his veins right now.

Snooping around at an update account dedicated to you, he sees the latest picture of the two of you leaving some kind of event, it’s two pictures cut next to each other of you and Pete, so you didn’t leave side by side, but it’s obvious that you were together. His hand fists as he reads the comments and keeps zooming into the picture, loving the way you looked but hating that you were with another man.

And before he could stop himself, he likes the post.

“Oh shit,” he gasps and almost immediately takes it back, hoping no one caught the mistake, but then he changes his mind.

It’s just a like, he tells himself. You might never even find out about it. Not that big of a deal.

But you do find out about it. Because just a few hours after the like, screenshots spread around the internet highlighting Harry’s username in the list of people who like the post and one of these screenshots make it to Pete, who of course, sends it over to you right away.

PETE: Boyband has been stalking you ;)

PETE has sent an attachment

You open the picture he sent you and your mouth hangs open seeing Harry’s user circled in red, impossible to miss. But just to make sure it’s real, you look for the account yourself and opening the post you realize that it’s really there. He liked the paparazzi photos of you and Pete.

You have not had a private moment with Harry and you’ve been working on the episode for days. Okay, you don’t actually have much to do together since he only acts in one of the skits while you have to do three pre-recorded scenes and rehearse for three live ones along with your monologue, but you were expecting to see more of him.

The first meeting however was interesting. It was both awkward and funny, because you were wearing your costume for the skit but he was still in his own clothes and he couldn’t stop laughing at your wig.

“You look great,” he said, trying to hold his laughter back but he miserably failed. You play a mother in the skit, Pete is going to be your husband and your teenage daughter brings home her first boyfriend, but it turns out she is dating a badboy, aka Harry. He will burst into the room confessing his love for the daughter and then tries to charm you and Pete so you’ll let him date your little girl. You know it’s going to be a fun scene and you can’t wait for it to air.

All through rehearsals, you were catching him staring at you, your eyes meeting way more often than what you’d consider normal and he was especially observant when Pete was around you.

You sat through his rehearsals for his songs and were blown away by his talent of course. You wish you had time to actually talk to him after that, but you were dragged away before he could even come off the stage.

Now it’s the day of the show and on top of having your usual jitters because of being on live TV, you can’t stop acting like an awkward middleschooler around Harry. SNL just posted a picture of the two of you on Instagram just a few hours ago and now that you’re sitting outside the building with Pete, having a late lunch, you can’t help but scroll through the comments.

“Everyone thinks we look great together,” you sigh dreamily.

“I know, people have been shipping us forever,” he shrugs, thinking that you’re referring to him and you.

“No, I mean Harry and I. Look!” You hand him over your phone and he reads a few of the comments before giving it back to you.

“So now that you’re dating me, they want you to date him? I’m being thrown away!” he scoffs dramatically, but you just bump your shoulder against his as you lock your phone and go back to your sandwich that you’ve been trying to push down.

“I wish he thought the same way as the commenters.”

“Maybe he is in his dressing room right now, obsessing over the picture like you are. Or maybe he already has it printed and framed!” he teases you and you can’t help but laugh too.

“I will definitely have that picture framed,” you snort.

“I know. I know how crazy you are, so it’s not a surprise.”

“Shut up,” you giggle, not taking anything he says seriously. It’s a nice, peaceful moment before the madness settles in.

Your dressing room’s door flies open and you don’t even have to look there to know it’s Pete who just barged in.

“It’s shot time!” he announces, kicking the door closed, a bottle of tequila in his hands with three shot glasses. You finish applying your lipgloss and give him a puzzled look.

“Three glasses?”

Pete just grins at you knowingly and just right then, there’s a knock on the door and he calls out to the person on the other side.

“Come in, dude!”

The door opens again and Harry walks in, your mouth hanging open but you’re quick to mask your surprise. He looks gorgeous in his custom Gucci suit, of course, his hair done in a nice blowout, something you haven’t really seen on him and he is smirking at you playfully as he closes the door behind him.

“Is this where the before party is at?”

“Yeah! Come on, we’re gonna have some liquid courage, we all could use some,” Pete grins as he fills the three glasses and hands one to everyone.

“No salt and lemon?” you ask.

“Don’t be a pussy, we don’t do shit like that here. Just drink it, babe,” he grins and you fight the urge to roll your eyes at him.

The glasses meet in the middle, all three of you singing cheers!, your eyes meeting Harry’s as you all down the shots. The alcohol burns down your throat and you can’t push down a grimace at the taste of it, that lemon would have been nice to wash it out of your mouth.

“Oh shit, I’ve gotta run. See you guys in a bit!” Pete exclaims, totally just pretending to be in a rush, he even winks at you from behind Harry before running out of the room and leaving the two of you alone.

“So, we haven’t really had too many chances to talk all week, huh?” you start the conversation.

“It’s been crazy, yeah. But I’m glad we are finally in the same room without anyone trying to drag one of us away,” he chuckles. “You look gorgeous, by the way.”

“Oh, thank you,” you smile, feeling your cheeks heating up, but it’s just the shot, right? “You look great too. But you always do.”

“Is that so?” he arches an eyebrow at you.

“Well, obviously,” you huff and you start to feel nervous under his intent gaze. Is this his normal? Does he stare at everyone like this? Like he wants to devour them? Or is it just you?

Clearing your throat you grab the bottle of tequila feeling like you could use some more.

“Another one?” you smirk at him holding the bottle up.

“Are you sure it’s wise to get drunk before going live?” he chuckles, but doesn’t protest when you fill two of the glasses, Pete’s staying empty this time.

“Two shots is nothing,” you shrug and hand him one of them. “Cheers to us being on SNL!” you grin, clinking your glass to his.

“Yeah, cheers to us,” he smirks before downing the shot and you heart skips a beat as you do the same.

“Welcome! And thank you!” you smile around as the audience cheers when you walk out, the cameras rolling. The tight dress you’re wearing is stunning and you feel great in your skin, but maybe it has something to do with the shots you had not long ago.

“Thank you! I am Y/N Y/L/N and I will be your host tonight!” The cheering starts again as you wait a little, and when your speech starts rolling on the screen again you continue. “It is such an honor to be here tonight, it’s been definitely one of my dreams to be here and make a fool of myself. When I was contacted about the possibility of hosting an episode my first question was: “Did Pete show my nudes to the producers?”

The audience starts laughing again and you push down a smile as well.

“Turns out it’s not what happened. It wasn’t Pete, my nudes just got leaked. Anyway! We are in for an amazing show tonight, we have plenty of jokes and if things don’t go the way we planned, I can always just show my boobs on live TV, right?”

You don’t feel uncomfortable because of the jokes you’re making, the writers had you approve them very early on. You’ve been known to be the bold type, you don’t shy away from showing some skin or making some blunt jokes about your body or sex. Sometimes it’s even entertaining to see people get mad at you for them.

“Hopefully we won’t have to turn things into a Fifty Shades sequel, I wouldn’t be able to act upset if someone took me to a room like that, I’m way too familiar with those equipment.” This time someone even whistles along with the laughter. “I’m hoping to—“ you continue, but as planned you get interrupted by Kate McKinnon and the audience starts cheering. “Oh, hello, Kate!”

“Hi! Sorry to interrupt, but I’ve been trying to spice my Instagram up, I was wondering if we could take a picture,” she smiles, holding her phone up.

“Um, sure, but can it wait until after the show? I’m… kind of in the middle of something,” you say gesturing around in the studio.

“Just a quick picture! Please!” she begs and holds her phone up as she moves closer to you. Smiling at the camera you strike a casual pose before she turns to you.

“This is kinda boring, it’s not how you pose on your Instagram.”

“What… what do you want me to do?”

“Like, give it some… spice, you know?” she asks and then starts imitating the poses you usually do on your profile, only she does them even more dramatically while you just stand next to her, trying not to laugh along with the audience.

“Let’s just do this after the show, okay?”

“But—“

“Bye Kate!” you sing and push her out of the frame. “Okay, where was I? Um, I have no idea. But let me just introduce myself a bit more in case some of you have no idea who I am. I’m an actress, you most likely have seen me in romcoms on Netflix, but I actually have done some more serious stuff as well lately! Not many of you know this, but I was actually in Dune!”

At this point a picture is shown on the screens, a badly photoshopped photo of you posing in a bikini with a cocktail in your hand next to Timothée Chalamet and Zendaya in the desert. Then another one where you’re building a sand castle in the background at a fight scene.

“I understand if you didn’t notice me, I wouldn’t see anything else either if Timothée Chalamet’s sharp ass jawline was on the screen. But hopefully, tonight I will give a better performance.”

“Funny that you brought up performances!” Pete walks onto the stage, another round of cheering washing over the audience.

“Oh, hi Pete. What about performances?”

“Your performance wasn’t too good last night in the bedroom.”

“You really want to go there?” you ask pursing your lips. “Because you lack quite a lot in knowledge about the female orgasm,” you retort and the laughing continues until it turns into cheering and you know what’s happening. Harry has walked out to the stage. He stands on your other side, waiting just a few seconds for the cheering to die down.

“Did someone mention the female orgasm?” he asks and now you can’t hold back a chuckle.

“Everyone, give it up for tonight’s musical guest, Harry Styles!” you announce and clap along with the audience yourself as well.

“Thank you!” he bows a little with a smirk tugging on his lips. “So, you guys need advice on the female orgasm?” he asks.

“No, no, we’re good, dude,” Pete shakes his head but you scoff.

“Uh, excuse me, we are not good, dude. But I’m not sure if you’re the right person to turn to, Harry.”

“Come on, everyone knows I have a bunch of songs about this topic.”

“Are you talking about Watermelon Sugar? Because I don’t know what kind of woman you ate out who tasted like that. It’s not healthy, Harry.”

“Yours tastes like cinnamon rolls,” Pete adds with a shrug.

“Okay, okay, this is enough. Why don’t you guys just let me finish this damn monologue in peace?” you roll your eyes.

“Alright, see you soon,” Pete nods and bumping his fist against Harry’s, he exits to one side and Harry heads out on the other, leaving you alone on the stage.

“I’ll just keep it short before another man pops in unannounced,” you sigh dramatically. “Stay with us, we’ve got an incredible show for you tonight, I’m Y/N Y/L/N, your host tonight and you are watching Saturday Night Live!” you finish off the monologue as the outro music starts playing and the audience claps for you.

The show goes by in a blur. One skit after the other and whenever you’re not on the stage, you’re in hair and makeup, transforming into the next character. It’s crazy and hectic, but you love every moment of it.

And then the skit with Harry comes.

Everything is going smooth, the audience seems to be liking it and you haven’t broken out of your character either so it’s a win. According to the script, Harry bursts into the room, confesses his love for your daughter who is played by Cecily Strong. Then he would beg for you to let him date her, but Pete, aka the father throws him out. It goes as written on the script, the audience seems to be enjoying the skit and then they go wild when Harry appears.

“No! I can’t stay away any longer!” he exclaims dramatically and waits a few moments for the laughter to die down before continuing. “I’m here to do what I should have done a long time ago!”

“Who the hell are you?” Pete asks from next to you on the couch.

“I am your daughter’s boyfriend,” he states in a heroic pose and you have to give it to him, he looks hot in the leather jacket and Dr. Martens, his hair smoothed into a kind of style John Travolta had in Grease.

“Another boyfriend?” you ask with a gasp, since according to the scene she has brought a fake one home, one you’d accept in her opinion.

“No! I’m her real boyfriend! She just hired this little loser!” Harry grimaces.

“He is a prostitute?!” Pete questions.

“What? No!” Cecil snaps. “Matt, what are you doing here? I told you not to come here!” she cries out to Harry and running over to him, he takes her hands into his, kissing them passionately.

“But I just couldn’t stay away, I have to fight for what I want!”

“And what do you want?”

“I’ll tell you what I want, everyone to shut up so I can watch the game in peace,” Pete sighs, staring at the prop TV that’s not even on, but the audience can’t see that.

“I want you, Kate!” Harry continues, ignoring the comment. “I know we’ve only been dating for four days, but I can’t live without you! I love you, Y/N!”

Wait, what?

Everyone on stage freezes for a moment after the slip up and the audience gasps as they register what just happened. Harry was supposed to confess his love to Cecily, calling her Kate, but he ended up saying your name. Your real name.

It seems like everyone in the scene is too shocked, even Harry himself and your acting skills kick in.

“Y/N? Who is Y/N? See, Kate, I bet he is dating other girls!” you snap, turning the scene a bit around.

It seems to get everyone else going and soon, you manage to get back to the scene as it was planned, but all along, you can’t stop yourself from shaking inside.

The show finally ends, no other mishaps happen and you feel relieved as you say your goodbye and the whole cast gathers on the stage, congratulating everyone on the successful episode.

Everyone keeps coming up to you, hugging and shaking hands and you catch Harry’s eyes over someone’s shoulder. Without anyone else noticing you nod at him to follow you and you sneakily make your way to a hidden spot on the set, Harry following you right behind.

“Y/N, I’m so sorry, I have no idea what happened!” he apologizes right away, clearly, it’s been eating him away. “It’s gonna make the headlines, this is gonna get so messy!”

“I don’t care,” you say with a blank face. “Was there any meaning behind it?”

“What?” he breathes out with a puzzled look.

“Was it a slip-up because you actually have feelings for me?” you rephrase the question.

“I uhh, I would never want to ruin someone else’s relationship, Y/N. You and Pete—“

“Just fucking answer it!” you groan rolling your eyes. “Are you into me?”

He stares back at you, his jaw clenching before he finally answers.

“I am. I have been for a while and—“

You cut him off again, but this time, you put your lips to good use, pressing them against his in the dark hiding spot somewhere on the set of Saturday Night Live, the rest of the cast buzzing not far away from the two of you, yet it all fades into nothing as his lips start moving against yours, his arms wrapping around your waist as he pulls you close. Pushing you to take a few steps backwards your back hits the wall and you moan into his mouth as he presses against you. You feel like a teenager sneaking around with your boyfriend so your parents don’t catch you, only this time if you got caught you’d be labeled as a cheater and Harry would most likely become a home-wrecker.

Suddenly, Harry pulls back as if he got hit by electricity, his lips swollen and his eyes wide as he stares back at you in shock.

“Wait, what are you doing?! Pete is right out there, we… we can’t…”

You can’t hold back a laugh at his panic, realizing that you are supposed to be in a relationship.

“It’s fake, Harry. I’m not actually dating Pete,” you tell him and watch as his face falls upon hearing the news.

“What? Are you kidding me?”

“No,” you chuckle shaking your head. “It’s PR for tonight and my upcoming movie. We already have a date set to break up.”

“Holy shit, I got so scared, Y/N,” he admits exhaling sharply before he cups your face in his hands and kisses you again. “I was not in the mood to fight Pete Davidson at the after party,” he chuckles against your lips, making you laugh as you wrap your arms around his neck.

“Don’t worry, he’ll probably high five you when he finds out about us.”

“So there is an us?” he asks, cocking an eyebrow.

“You don’t want that?”

“Y/N, I have wanted it since I was like… eighteen,” he admits chuckling.

“You’ve been crushing on me all along?” you gasp with wide eyes and he just nods, sinking his teeth into his bottom lip that you can’t wait to go back to kissing. “That’s funny, because I’ve had the fattest crush on you since probably forever too.”

“Damn it, then we have a lot of time to make up for that we missed, huh?” he grins coyly and kisses you again. And again. And again…

Thank you for reading, please like and reblog if you enjoyed it!

#harry #styles #harry styles #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles fanfic #harry styles oneshot #harry styles one shot #harry styles fluff #harry styles x you #harry styles x y/n #harry styles x reader #harry styles blurb #harry creators & co

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parkers-gal · 4 years ago

Text

masterlist

requests | closed to complete current requests <3

last updated | aug 5th, 2021

do not repost my work anywhere !! respect this please. | fics are not ordered in any particular way. these headers are mine so pls don’t use/take them

tom holland

insomnia - reader can’t get to sleep; tom finds out why

driving in the rain - fluffy dinner date and rainy drive back home

workouts and warmth - when all tom wants is some after-workout cuddles

from across the living room - announcing your engagement to your families

the one - you want to move out and get your own place as a couple, but tom doesn’t. nikki talks to him.

anything for the twins - tom massages reader’s boobies during her period

moms, makeouts, and mishaps - nikki walks in during your makeout sesh

simple acts of intimacy - a fluffy 3.1k words worth of blurbs

silver surprises - the reader surprises tom at a premiere

twenty questions - questions ensue after tom & reader get stuck in an elevator

my gut - spinoff of twenty questions with claustrophobic!reader (tw/ anxiety + attacks)

stealth mode - tom & reader scaring each other

unicorns vs pegasuses - tom shuts the reader up by kissing them

a good story - tom meets reader at a meet & greet — friendships blossom to lovers

deal breaker - tom wants kids, but the reader does not

his lap - reader asks for help in overcoming an insecurity; tom misreads the situation

pool day - pool day w/ tom + the boys

hot - the reader picks a certain song that reminds her of tom - the boys go wild

grounded by rocks - tom talks about you in an interview for cherry

your hands - when all he wants is a simple head massage

late flights - in which tom takes too much time with the fans

nobody wanted to - where only one person makes it out alive

way more than 50 - the hollands trick the reader into thinking they did something they weren’t supposed to

why [ pt ii ] - sweet cupcakes, and a not so sweet breakup

what looks suspicious - nikki doesn’t exactly approve of tom dating the reader

something sweet - reader drops off small gifts while tom’s on set

he remembers - when tom finds the letter

missed you - reuniting w/tom after four long months

soft gangsta - tom tries to dress edgy; the reader is unconvinced

the shoe game - reader & tom play the shoe game at their wedding

too much - when the reader has a rough time with work, tom comforts them

losing grip [ pt ii ] - a losing battle between the reader and a hereditary disease causes heartbreak

your captain america - protective!tom holland of young reader (age gap)

sexy genius - reader is a fan of (and meets) jake gyllenhaal

teddy bear cuddles - tom wears an oversized hoodie

nonsense - the boys think the reader is meddling with tom’s work

circles before yourself - rule #2 - osterfield!reader gets caught with tom

seventeen times - when the reader is having a hard time in lock down, tom tries to help (TW // depression)

pixie dust hair - tom assures insecure!reader that the pixie haircut looks good <3

a few more months - reader passes out during a run; tw // excessive exercising

tiktok au’s

body ody ody - tom gets a little jealous over a few social media comments

sweats in the supermarket - getting tom hard when he wears sweats

put your records on - trying not to kiss each other first

mood killer - saying dirty things into tom’s ear

say it back - pranking tom by not saying ily back to him

two different ways - tom choking the reader to get two different reactions

brutal - doing the “did you mean to post this?” trend on tom

worst thirty minutes of my life - playing a drinking game with tom to see who gives into cuddles first

my girl’s cuddles - crawling into tom’s lap

even - buying hot leggings & taping tom’s reaction

goofball - a silly way to reveal reader’s pregnancy to tom

end the debate - “i found out why my boobs are small” trend

slam the car door - doing the car door prank on tom

water bottle wars - the boys ask you and tom questions about each other. wrong answers result in sprayed water

get you back real good - you & the boys prank tom after watching a scary movie

peachy - sighing / moaning in front of tom playing video games to get his reaction

my princess - tom does a tiktok where he guesses all your answers to everyday questions

dad!tom

needles and needs - when scarlet has to get shots, you realize she may not be the only one that needs comforting

all my girls - scarlet meets her baby sister for the first time (dad!tom)

everything i love about u - tom is afraid baby red might hate him for leaving home too much

a little extra help - stepdad!tom being the best dad to your daughter

through the tears - pregnant!reader goes into labour, and baby holland meets the family

first feed - tom watches you breastfeed for the first time

warmth from the love - baby holland’s first Christmas

first words - baby holland speaks for the first time

breaking the internet - when your pregnancy announcement crashes multiple apps/websites (pregnant!reader)

breaking the internet... again - when baby holland breaks the internet

boyfriends and brunch - when jade brings home her boyfriend (aged!up)

big sister + how are babies made - telling scarlet about the baby on the way (pregnant!reader)

too many kids - the reader’s dad has some commentary about the twins

mumma’s girl - tom gets jealous when scarlet isn’t a daddy’s girl

angels - a little skin to skin time with his best girl

family man - after a nasty breakup, tom finds out you had his child

cheesy uncles - telling paddy he’s going to be an uncle

ag!reader (more to come !!)

y’all really get nasty - tom and the fans discuss ag!reader’s songs

my favorite things - ag!reader performs in front of the mcu cast at the grammy’s

34 + 35 - the boys react to reader’s new song(s)

34 + 35 remix - the boys reacting to the remix

his remedy - the boys react to positions deluxe

neglected - AG!reader breaks up w tom because of their job; tom searches for answers

low-key wants him - reader talks about how much nonna (+ her fam) loves tom

see u soon - reader interacts with tom while on stage for the swt

a few spilled secrets - AG!reader performs on jimmy fallon’s show.. tom and her confess a few secrets

for the first time - when the reader breaks down crying while singing about her ex, tom is there to comfort her

dance with me, rain on me - reader has a hard time on set, tom to the rescue

every tomorrow - the first album release night after your breakup

here we go again - introducing tom (+ the boys) to your celebrity friends

condoms or safety nets - the boys react to AG!reader’s song “safety net”

we’re not engaged - AG!reader announcing to the world why they no longer have a fiance... (fluffy)

the late late show - AG!reader & tom do spill your guts or fill your guts

pain from pleasure - dad!tom goes through a birth simulator — controlled by the reader

never have i ever - tom & the reader play a game on the late late show

fluffy hair - ag!reader has a zoom interview with zach sang. tom makes an appearance

fighting off the haters - ag!reader and older!tom holland (age gap) attend an award show after going public

run your hands thru my hair - tom reacts to ag!reader’s song “my hair”

stick to acting - tom tries to make a beat for ag!reader

practically twins - reader meets sebastian & anthony at comic con

damn lucky - black!reader wears her hair naturally during an interview

what a piece - reader talks about tom related songs & tattoos

flip it - tom talks about reader in an interview

at the door - older!reader & tom fight off haters

a headcannon of ag!reader being a marvel cast member

a headcannon of tom & the reader attending the avengers endgame premiere

styles!reader (more to come !!)

bathroom kisses - makeout sessions with tom and styles!reader in the bathroom

yeah, he is - tom holland x styles!reader meet the styles family; protective older brother harry makes an appearance

unparalleled love - older brother harry styles makes a speech at reader’s wedding

grilled - date night for tom & styles!reader is a bit difficult with two kids; older brother!harry to the rescue

baby showers and brothers - dad!tom & styles!reader are going to be parents

potential boyfriend - tom has a crush on the reader when they first meet

ts!reader (more to come!!)

trust me - tom & the reader defend her after nikki doesn’t approve

your london boy - tom & co. + the world reacts to “london boy”

boy of my dreams - tom being proud of the reader for winning a grammy

rapper!tom

tom records your sounds during sex for his music (hc)

tom talks about you in an interview

concepts: one , two , three

professor!tom

my pretty girl - tom gets jealous when reader gets many valentines

other reader tropes

cherry - reader is a screenwriter for tom’s upcoming movie

no shouting - singer!reader needs some help after paparazzis are too much (based on a video of tom)

pregnancy belly - actress!reader has to wear a pregnancy belly for her role, and the boys tease tom about when it’ll be real

we march - actress!reader being a huge feminist

passions & pediatricians - pediatrician-to-be!reader meets tom

politics - reader’s granpa is joe biden (requested) and tom meets him

extra support - psychiatrist!reader helps tom on the set of cherry

you made it big - tom holland x actress!reader at the after party

partition - the boys react to famous!reader singing partition

senorita - singer!reader makes a music video with shawn, who’s tom’s new best friend

miniseries

boomerang: one , two , three , four [completed]

peter parker

making amends

➢ enemies to lovers ; college!peter x super soldier!reader ; 30k words ; sorta slow burn

cheeky guy, favorite thighs - college!peter doing a tik tok challenge — between the reader’s thighs [tik tok au]

a little nicer - doing the prank on peter (”you could’ve been a little nicer to me today”)

start searching - first make out sessions with our best boy :)

hidden hickeys - the avengers think innocence of peter, until they’re proven wrong

the team - part two of hidden hickeys; reader meets the avengers

all of you - late night talks about your future with peter :’)

like you wouldn’t believe - reader tells mj about her & peter’s awesome sex

slip from my hands - roommate!peter comforts the reader after a nightmare

i’d wait for her - college!peter parker needs to come to terms with you and your boyfriend

shut up and kiss me - soft make out sessions with peter :)

all the good things in the world, and i get you - insecure!reader needs a little reassuring

modern chivalry - peter being a gentleman on the subway

eggnog and mistletoe - peter helps you love the holidays

the force awakens? it sleeps - a little extra comfort & care from our favorite baby boyfriend

a prince - wonder woman!reader meets spider-man (& avengers) in a mission

steve rogers fics - peter finds you reading fanfiction abt steve rogers

fanboy!peter

fanboys and bracelets - fanboy!peter parker goes to famous!singer!reader’s meet and greet

fanboys and phone numbers - fanboy!peter parker continuation

showing around - fanboy!peter gets VIP access; some dancing ensues

stark!reader + avengers!reader

if you knew feelings - the avengers want you & peter to break up

sleeping - peter misinterprets a few important questions

the may to your ben - college!best friend!peter parker x stark!reader fluff

race ya - peter confesses his feelings for rogers!reader after a mission — on comms

frat bathrooms - stark!reader joins the avengers where she sees college!peter, the boy she slept with at a frat party

rainy days - reader doesn’t like rainy days, a certain wall-climber changes their mind

already got her - jealous!peter makes a public confession

flustered!peter

a nervous one - flustered!peter parker sees cheerleader!reader in her uniform

one day soon - flustered!peter parker x affectionate!reader

all better - flustered!peter parker does some lab flirting with reader

dad!peter + pregnant!reader

unplanned [ part ii ] - reader gets pregnant... breaks up with peter to avoid it all

burrito wraps - reader worries that baby parker might be cold

a name to remember - latine!reader & peter give their girl a special name

you’re magic - a certain wall crawler hears two heartbeats

sgt. bucky barnes

first cuddles - bucky asks to cuddle for the first time

harry holland

golden light, the love of my life - the boys tease harry —on a live video— for being whipped

it won’t f^cking open - harry lends a helping hand

how much i - those three magical words are exchanged for the first time

cuddly koala moments - time the reader just needed harry’s warmth

anything for hands - the reader cuts harry’s hair on instagram live

your other best friend - the reader is sam’s new friend, but harry thinks they like tom instead

you’re my anchor - harry has an anxiety attack, but the reader knows what to do

what’s his [ pt ii ] - when everything thinks the reader should date tom instead, harry snaps

whipped fries - harry brags about the reader winning the pub quiz for them

tell me, show me - the reader makes harry flustered by playing w/the strings from his sweatpants

keep your cool - tom setting u up with his brother // nikki being wary

ag!reader

you’re such a dream to me — ag!reader writes r.e.m. about harry

harry styles

intoxicating - soft bubbles baths with long haired!harry

frayed braids - reader braids long haired!harry’s hair

others:

harrison osterfield

not anymore - when harrison comes back from filming, he’s determed to win the reader’s heart

irreversible - when relationships fall apart, people fall apart. (infidelity)

circles before yourselves - rule #1 - harrison x osterfield!reader (sister) when brothers talk, bad things begin

think of her - harrison asks your family for their blessing [holland!sister]

steve harrington

together not never - steve discovers the reader is pregnant

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kissinginkitchens · 3 years ago

Text

You Bring Me Home—Bonus Blurb: Starry Eyes

a/n: surprise lovies!!! I’ve really been missing Halani these days, so I decided to write a short blurb and give you a peek of what our faves have been up to since we last saw them. I had so much fun writing them again and I hope you enjoy this little weekend treat! Much love, Mel <3

Pairing: Hawai’i!Harry x Original Character

Word Count: 1.2k

Revisit You Bring Me Home here

“That one over there kinda looks like a pineapple,”

“Oh, sure. I see it now,”

“Do you really?”

“No,” Harry admits with a soft chuckle. “Not really, sweets,”

The corners of Alani’s mouth ease into a fond smile as she curls deeper into his side. “Yeah, me either. Constellation gazing is way harder than cloud gazing,”

“Nah. Just have to know what you’re looking for,” Harry offers matter-of-factly. He runs the pad of his left thumb over Alani’s knuckles while the right one lines up beneath the northern star.

“Since when did you add ‘astronomer’ to your already impressive repertoire?”

“Since I kinda discovered I have a knack for it,”

“Is that so?” Alani presses, turning her head to scrutinize the boy lounging beside her. “Do tell how you came to this revelation,”

Harry’s throat tightens ever so slightly as he considers the backstory already playing in his head. He reminisces on the long, solitary nights spent on hotel balconies as his way of unwinding after a high energy performance. After leaving everything on stage, he liked having a moment just for himself, the stars, and the silvery moon shining overhead—the only moon present in his life those days, albeit not the one he was truly searching for. It hardly seems like a story worth telling after all the time that had passed and the healing that had taken place between them. The six months following Harry and Alani’s reunion in New York were full of immense efforts to rebuild trust, and it was worth every second to be able to return to the very same island where it all began, feeling as blissful as ever. But despite that growth, there were still moments just like this one where the pair had to face the uncomfortable reality of their falling out and the effects it had on them as individuals.

“I used to do a lot of stargazing,” Harry admits shyly. “On tour,”

Tour. Synonymous for ‘our breakup’ and less emotionally charged, though it still makes Alani’s stomach turn.

“Oh,” she swallows, eyes glued to the constellations above.

“It brought me a sort of comfort,” Harry elaborates. “Cause no matter where you are, you’re always looking at the same stars. In London. In New York. Hawai’i. I used to imagine you doing the same thing, and even though we weren’t on good terms back then, I figured that at least we had the stars,”

Alani’s heart nearly crumbles at his admission and she props herself up on one elbow to search his face. The tension in his muscles instantly relaxes under the gentle touch of her fingers combing through the curls at the nape of his neck. While they both acknowledge that neither of them were entirely at fault for the temporary break in their relationship, it still stings every time that period of their life is mentioned. Thankfully, they knew it was just that: a period. A blip. A minor smudge on the bigger picture. What truly matters to them in this moment is finally being together again under the endless expanse of shimmering stars. The same stars of the exact same night sky without a single mile of distance between them.

“You know that is...kind of depressing,” Alani jokes lightly. “But also incredibly sweet. And romantic. And such a you thing to do, sunshine,”

Harry laughs softly before leaning in closer so that his dimpled grin hovers inches away from Alani’s mouth. As she slots her lips between his and her lungs fill with the scent of his vanilla cologne, she marvels over the fact that every kiss they share feels just as euphoric as the very first one.

“Speaking of romantic gestures,” Harry adds with his index finger extended to the sky above. “See that curved constellation right there?”

“The one that kinda looks like a smiley face?”

“Yeah, that one,”

“What about it?” Alani questions, already nestling under Harry’s arm draped over her shoulder.

“That’s Corona Borealis,” he explains. “The legend goes that the Greek god Dionysus presented this really beautiful crown to Ariadne, the daughter of the second king of Crete, when they fell in love. After Ariadne died, the crown was placed in the heavens so she would live on forever and it became, you know, a symbol of Dionysus’ devotion to her,”

“That is romantic,” Alani hums.

Harry carefully reaches into his back pocket for a folded slip of paper as he continues his memorized astronomy lesson. “And do you see that star juuust beneath the apex of the crown?”

“Yeah,”

“Well that is the star now known as ‘Halani,’”

“Halani? As in—?”

“—Our names put together,” Harry confirms with a rosy tint in his cheeks. “It’s cheesy, I know,”

Alani giggles, but her eyes sting as the realization of his gesture sets in. “Oh my god, it’s perfect. You really bought us a star?”

“We’ve already got the sun and the moon. What’s another celestial body?”

“I can’t believe you sometimes,” Alani murmurs with her forehead pressed gently against his. “And here I thought I was slick for throwing a couple of pillows and blankets into the back of Stevie,”

Harry chuckles lightly, feigning offense as he sticks out a hand to pat the side of the Bronco. “Hey, I love this date idea. And I know how much effort must’ve gone into taking her top off. Stevie’s a real lady,”

“You are such a dork,”

“Hope you wined and dined her first,”

“I think we should end this bit,” Alani rolls her eyes playfully. “It feels weird now that the actual Stevie and I are on a first name basis,”

“And you have yet to tell her about her vehicular namesake. Honestly if you don’t, I will,” Harry threatens with the most serious expression he can muster.

Alani giggles and buries her face back into the side of his neck. A shiver runs through her spine from both the light graze of her boyfriend’s fingertips and the soft breeze picking up. Harry presses a soothing kiss to her hairline and checks the time on his phone. He can hardly believe that it’s already a few minutes past midnight, though time had always seemed to elude the pair when they were together.

“Should we head back now?”

“Do we have to?” Alani yawns. “Sleeping on the side of the road under the moonlight is romantic, right?”

Harry grins as he pulls her closer with an arm slung over her shoulders. “It would be a nice view to wake up to. And we practically have a monopoly over this lookout, anyway,”

“Exactly. Plus I don’t think I’m ready to part with our star just yet,”

“But that’s the great thing about it,” Harry counters. “It’ll always be there no matter where we go. All you have to do is look up,”

Alani tilts her chin to the sky, but it isn’t their star that she’s admiring in this moment. She studies the slope of Harry’s nose and the contours of his lips under the light of the waning moon and her heart fills with so much affection, she worries it’ll burst.

“I still can’t believe you bought us a star,” she muses incredulously. “How did I get so lucky?”

“I’m the lucky one, sweets. I love you.”

“I love you, too. Forever and always.”

#harry styles #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles fanfic #harry styles imagine #harry styles writing #harry styles fluff #harry styles x oc #ybmh

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pagesoflauren · 4 years ago

Text

The Highest Bidder Ch. 1 (Ransom Drysdale x reader; sugar daddy!AU)

Summary: A graduate-level education is a costly pursuit. When you move out of state to study in Boston, expenses pile up, leading you to auction off what is apparently your most valuable asset: your virginity. It goes to the highest bidder…who happens to be Ransom Drysdale.

There are no major spoilers for Knives Out. Consider this as an alternate timeline. There will be references to the movie/its characters and family dynamics revealed in the movie.

Warnings: loss of virginity, explicit sexual content/smut, angst, sugar daddy/baby arrangement, dark elements, dubcon, cliffhangers, minor spoilers for Knives Out, unprotected sex, irresponsible driving (don’t drink and drive!), swearing, Ransom is an asshole (more to add and if you spot any that I’ve missed, please kindly let me know!)

A/N: Huge disclaimer...I really didn’t want to end this chapter the way I did, but it was getting a little too long...but there’s more coming! Don’t worry, please don’t send an angry mob after me 😱 Big love to @threeminutesoflife and @caffiend-queen for beta-ing this for me! ❤️ One last thing about the text messages: Italics are sent messages and bold italics are received messages :)

This chapter is written under the assumption that the reader drinks alcohol.

Masterlist

Series Masterlist

With his bedroom illuminated by the flashing images of his television, Ransom lounged lazily in his bed. One hand was occupied with his phone as his thumb slowly scrolled over the screen, the other idly wrapped around his cock as he took in the images on the device.

Various girls, all a few years younger than him, staring with false wide-eyed innocence or sprawled out provocatively across recliners on sandy beaches or by turquoise-watered pools. Their names or aliases were listed under the respective photos, with a number in green text next to it.

Deciding there were too many options, Ransom scrolled back up, the hand on his cock pausing as he started setting filters through the search. He changed them to specific hair colors, skin tones and a more concentrated age range. The only filter he didn’t change was the prices--there was no limit there. The page refreshed and showed him more favorable faces.

His mind started to numb and the faces started looking too similar. As he was ready to pack it in for the night and tuck himself back into his boxers, a strange listing catches his attention.

He sees you, kneeling in the sand at an apparent topical destination in a barely-there bikini. Unlike the other girls, though, your face is candid, caught in a laugh, eyes crinkled and lips spread in joy. There’s no price. Just the letters “HB” in red text.

He clicks on your photo and the webpage changes to your profile. There’s a few more photos of you: one with a cat, more vacation photos. Your location is convenient: Boston. Not too far from where he is.

But all of that fails to answer the question at the forefront of Ransom’s mind: Why don’t you have a price next to your name?

He scrolls through a couple more meaningless pieces of information: a little blurb about who you are, your measurements, your race and your conditions.

One time only.

“What?” he wonders aloud, face scrunching in curiosity. Sugar babies don’t just have sex once and then walk away with a fortune. From what he’s heard, they bitch and moan but shut up when there’s a cock in their mouth (or pussy, for that matter). They need to be looked after either because they can’t afford it or can’t be bothered to do things on their own. Then, once he reaches the end of your profile, he understands.

Virginity Auction. Current Bid: $8,250.

Ransom smirks at the prospect. He wasn’t looking for a virgin, but he likes the idea of taking one now.

The number changes in real time, going up in five dollar increments before someone brings it up to $8,500. A pop-up window appears, warning him that if he’s interested, the auction ends at midnight. Ransom’s eyes flick to the top of his phone. It’s 11:57.

He thinks for a few ticks. If he pays you enough, he’ll have the convenience of entertaining himself between your legs and taking your virginity with no strings attached. Once that’s done, you’ll be out of his hair. He wouldn’t have to put you up, send you money or deal with your whining or complaining.

Sounds like a good deal.

Pressing his thumb into the blue button that says “Bid,” Ransom looks at the clock again. 11:58.

Initially, he types in $10,000. But with two minutes to go and your price still ticking up, he doesn’t want to chance getting outbid by someone at the last second. He has to blow the other bidders out of the water.

Sat up in your bed and wringing your hands nervously, you look at your cracked phone screen. Midnight has just passed and you’re waiting for a notification about the final bid in your auction. It started at $5,000 and in the week that the listing was posted, you had gotten notifications whenever it went to the next thousand.

This isn’t how you wanted to lose your virginity. Ideally, you would have genuinely made love to somebody, someone your parents would have approved of and who truly cared for you. Even more ideally, it would have been the man who eventually became your husband...though you wouldn’t have waited until marriage to lose your V-card. You were about to take the next step in life and--you had to face it--you weren’t getting younger.

What was the least ideal of it all was the fact that you were doing this out of pure desperation. Your graduate program was starting in a month and your savings were mostly gobbled up by application and testing fees. Living out of state didn’t help either; most of your money went to paying rent and commuting around the city. If someone paid you enough to tide your finances over, you could live off that money until the end of the semester, after adjusting to the program and your schedule, before taking on a job off campus.

Your phone buzzed with an email from the website and you tapped the banner. Your email app launched and opened directly to the message.

Your auction has ended.

Reading further, you can’t believe what you see.

Winning bid: $50,000 by Ransom Drysdale.

Fifty thousand dollars? Surely there must be a mistake. Why would someone pay ten times the starting bid?

And Drysdale...where had you seen that name?

Closing your eyes, you searched your recollection to place the name. It’s so familiar.

Deciding your memory is unreliable, you resolve to a Google search of your highest bidder’s last name.

The first result that pops up is a real estate company and a picture of famed author Harlan Thrombey, who apparently is the father of the woman who owns the business.

You feel faint...these names are not insignificant in Massachusetts, let alone the world. Harlan was a best-selling mystery writer--you had some of his books in your library back home.

Then concern floods your brain: if this Linda Drysdale is Harlan Thrombey’s daughter, that makes Thrombey her maiden name. She must’ve married a Drysdale.

Are you a pawn in some horrible cheating scandal? You must be, nobody has the name Ransom. It has to be an alias. Her husband must be looking for some young thing to get his rocks off.

Stress causes your scalp to prickle as your phone buzzes again with a text message from the semi-mysterious Ransom, checking if it’s you, that he has the right number.

Yes, you reply.

The three dotted message bubble pops up before turning into another message.

Good. I’ve made a reservation at The Boxer in the city for Saturday. I told them you’ll check in. I told them not to charge you anything, but if you need to pay any fees, I’ll send you the money back. I’ll be there after 9.

A chill runs down your spine at how direct he is. But, you suppose you can’t expect anything more from him.

Okay, you acknowledge.

More dots, then another message.

Dress appropriately.

Despite your lack of experience in the bedroom, you know for a fact that he’s not referring to office attire.

Settling back onto your pillow, you pull the covers over yourself and breathe slowly. You’ve got some preparation to do.

What do you bring with you when you’re planning to lose your virginity to a complete stranger in exchange for tuition money?

Fuck all if you have a clue.

You spent the days leading up to Saturday getting yourself ready. You bought a tight dress and pair of strappy heels from the sale racks. You cluelessly browsed for lingerie before an associate took pity on you (or just desperately wanted you out of her store, jury’s still out on that) and helped you select a lacy set complete with a garter and stockings. The associate absolutely gushed at how the color of the material complemented your skin tone, though you could care less. You forked over $120 for the damn thing and scampered out. Learning from your friends’ mistakes, you purchased a set of condoms using the self-checkout kiosk (and prayed you picked the right size). You weren’t instructed to buy condoms, but you figured you wouldn’t risk the chance of not having any. You endured a Brazilian wax, stifling profanities as the woman did her work. You also had trouble getting over your embarrassment; a stranger was going to see you bared all for him in a few days so if you can’t handle the wax lady seeing you, how could you handle “Ransom”?

Ransom.

Thinking about him did nothing for your nerves. You were certain you were going to lose your virginity to a man in his late 50s, who was married to Massachusetts’ biggest real estate mogul and the daughter of a renowned author.

Dear God, what if she found out? Her father wrote murder mysteries, she had plenty of ways to kill you and get away with it. What if you weren’t even meeting “Ransom” and you were meeting Linda and she was going to kill you at the hotel?

You shake your head and look back down at the contents of your duffel bag: toiletries, a change of clothes for tomorrow, the condoms and your phone charger. You had created a playlist on your phone...if you weren’t going to lose your virginity to someone you loved, then maybe you could fake it with music.

Who are you kidding? you chide yourself.

You sigh and resolve to getting ready. After eating dinner, you strip off your old band t-shirt and sweatpants, remove your simple cotton underwear and novelty pineapple-patterned socks before discarding them into your laundry hamper.

You shimmy into the lacy knickers, the material feeling quite uncomfortable against your skin. You clip the bra on next, followed by the garter around your waist. Then you finish off with the stockings over your legs, stopping at mid-thigh. After fastening the clips on the suspenders to the lace trim at the top of the hosiery, you sit at your vanity to apply some makeup and fix your hair.

“‘Dress appropriately’,” you mutter as you pull your dress from your tiny closet, “Hopefully this is appropriate enough.”

You maneuver yourself into your dress, struggling with the zipper for a moment then smoothing the material over yourself. You slide your feet into your heels and teeter a bit as you stand up.

You’re not planning to really impress too much, so you pull on a downy, puffy jacket to combat the sea breeze the city gets in the evenings.

Pulling the strap of your bag onto your shoulder, you look in the mirror one last time. You catch the reflection of the clock: it’s almost seven thirty. Taking into account how long it’ll take for your rideshare to arrive at your house and the traffic in the city on a Saturday night, you’ll arrive at the hotel a little after eight. You suppose now’s a good a time as any to leave.

Requesting a car for pickup, you realize there’s no going back.

Stepping into the hotel lobby, you know you don’t belong here.

With modern touches and old architectural charm, the men wearing luxury tailored suits and women wearing unaffordable dresses, you felt you stood out like a sore thumb. The most luxurious hotel you had stayed at was a Holiday Inn Express near Disneyland. And it barely had functioning lighting.

You timidly approach the front desk. Though the receptionist gives you a warm smile, you’re not comforted.

“Hi, I’m here to check in for Drysdale?”

The man’s eyebrows raise in what you assume is recognition.

Maybe this “Ransom” meets other escorts here often, then.

“While we would normally ask you to cover the fees upon checking in, Mr. Drysdale is a very good friend of the hotel so we’ve accommodated his request to make an exception,” the man informs you as he types away. He grabs a keycard and hands it to you.

“You’ll be in room 6-F. Have a pleasant stay.”

“Thank you,” you say meekly, taking the card before turning to take an elevator up.

Once on the sixth floor, you locate and unlock the room. The lights turn on automatically and you’re met with a cool gray toned room, which gives the room a darker atmosphere already.

The entrance is narrow and you assume the bathroom is on the other side of the wall on your right. With wobbly steps, you move forward and see the room open up.

The first thing you notice is the king-sized bed. Beyond it, the windows show illuminated facades of buildings outside. On the wall opposite the bed is a desk with a speaker and aux cord on top of the marble workspace and a fridge underneath. A TV is mounted on the wall above the desk. Next to it is an open wardrobe with a bathrobe hanging, cubbies and drawers, as well as a tray of refreshments.

You set your bag on the bottom shelf of the wardrobe and retrieve the remote to turn on the TV to create some white noise and maybe kill some time (and nerves) as you wait for nine o’clock to come around.

You wander into the bathroom and look yourself over in the mirror. You shake out your hands and pace, deciding to take off your heels for now as you pad around the room.

Ransom was bored of dinner and his host knew it. Everyone else kept a level of decorum, but all the guests knew this get together was extending much longer than necessary.

Checking his watch, it was quarter to nine. He threw back the rest of his drink before nodding to his friend and exchanging brief glances as he got up. Haphazard goodbyes were thrown his way as he pulled on his jacket and Ransom gave a nod of acknowledgement. He exits the restaurant, whistling to get the valet’s attention and handing the man his ticket as he pulls out his phone.

Where are you? he messages you.

At the hotel, sir. Room 6-F.

“‘Sir’,” he muses to himself, smirking at the title you’d given him. He didn’t even need to tell you to address him that way.

Have them bring up my usual from the bar.

Yes, sir.

Wondering how far he can take this, he asks you to send him a picture.

He’s surprised with how quickly you comply. You’re sat on top of the sheets at the edge of the bed, leaned forward so your elbow can rest on your knee and the camera can get a view of the plunging neckline of your dress. Your hair falls nicely over your face and your palm cradles your chin.

He can’t lie, he loves the way you look. You may as well be the most beautiful woman he’s ever seen.

Taking a few deep breaths, he wills himself to calm down; he can’t get hard yet.

He puts his phone into one pocket and reaches into the other as the valet returns with his car. When the valet approaches, Ransom hands over a few sad, crumpled bills as a tip before walking around to the driver’s side of his car and climbing in. Sending one last message to you, he pulls away from the curb and heads to the hotel.

I’m on my way. Make sure my drink is there before me.

You let out a spastic sound of nervousness and shook out your hands again before getting up to pace around the room again.

The drink was on the way, you placed the order as soon as he told you to. You didn’t want to give him any excuse to not pay or complain you were unsatisfactory. Though, not having any experience in bed might prove that mission to be difficult regardless of whether or not his drink came in time.

There’s a knock on the door and you jog over, pulling the door open to find a waiter holding a tray with a glass of what you assume is Scotch perched on top, covered with one of those signature little hats hotels always place on top of glasses.

“Thank you,” you smile, carefully receiving the glass from him. He bows silently and turns to leave.

You shut the door and place the glass on a coaster you find on the desk. You bother yourself with where the glass should rest (next to the speaker? on the far end, closest to the wardrobe?). Deciding it should be on the bedside table, you move the glass and coaster there then return to the desk to plug your phone in and play some music. You cringe at your choice to include Ed Sheeran in this playlist, but there’s no going back now.

Suddenly, you hear the clicking sound of the door unlocking and you scramble over to sit on the bed to put your heels on.

When you look up, you’re shocked to not find a man in his late 50s, nor the severe looking woman you’ve seen plastered on real estate posters.

You find a man who can’t be that much older than you, dark hair and blue eyes that stand out in the dim light of the entry hallway. His cheeks are pale and rosy, framed by a strong jawline. He’s tall, crown of his head so high towards the ceiling. His broad shoulders nearly touch either side of the walls as he approaches you.

He’s dressed rather casually, as if he was out to dinner with friends. The color palette of his outfit matches the hotel room: cool gray henley shirt, black blazer and jeans, finished off with a pair of brown boots and belt to match. If you’re honest, he looks like a model. He looks like he could have any woman he wanted.

Why the hell does he want a virgin?

When he comes to stand in the room, hands tucked into his pockets, he looks you up and down from where you’re seated. His lips pucker thoughtfully and you see how perfectly pink and full they are and you wonder what it would be like to kiss them...

Nope. We’re not doing that. It’s a one time thing and that’s that. You remind yourself.

His eyes catch the glass on the bedside table and he plucks it up, removing the paper covering before bringing it to his lips to drink.

When the glass is halfway to his mouth, he hooks a finger at you. “Stand up.”

As he drinks, you obey, rising from your place on the mattress and smoothing down your dress before folding your hands together.

He pauses his sipping, “Turn.”

Hands falling out of each other’s grip, they land at your sides rather limply and you begin turning, giving him a three-sixty view of your body. You feel heat creeping up your neck and settling into your cheeks.

When you come back to face him, he throws his head back to finish his drink and places the glass back on the bedside table, but he misses the coaster. You cringe inwardly at the ring that will surely form on the surface later.

Your breath catches in your throat when your eyes meet his. You feel like a deer in headlights, unmoving as his gaze continues to flit over your figure. You wonder if he knows you’re holding your breath. You wonder if he can hear how quickly your heart is pounding.

When he goes to take off his jacket, things start feeling real. You don’t know how to describe the sound that leaves your throat, maybe something a frightened toad would make. Ransom halts and throws you a perplexed look and you cover your mouth in embarrassment.

He rolls his eyes. “You nervous?”

The words blend together, but his voice is so honeyed and silken and you can’t help but sigh inwardly at the sound of it.

Your jaw is slack and can’t make any sounds rise from your larynx. You snap your mouth shut and manage to nod stiffly.

Rolling his eyes again, he crosses the room to the mini fridge under the desk and pulls the door open. Crouching down, he shuffles through the various little bottles inside before turning and tossing one to you.

Your balance teeters as you fumble to catch it, the glass slipping out of your grip a few times before you fully grasp it.

The cap makes a cracking sound as it separates from the tamper evident band when you twist it open. You don’t bother to look at the label or pay any mind to the color of the liquid. Once the bottle’s open, you tilt your head back and drink, feeling the burn travel down your throat. When you stop, you notice you’ve had almost all of it.

Your eyes meet Ransom’s again and he raises his brows as if to ask, Better?

You finish the remaining contents of the bottle and feel the liquid settle in your belly as you twist the cap back on.

“Thank you,” you muster your voice to say.

His eyebrows raise again, showing his disinterest, and he holds his hand out. You’re certain you resemble a child when you use both hands to carefully place the bottle in his hands. There’s a flicker of confusion that crosses his face and you think you were meant to place your hand in his, but he turns and places the bottle on the desk.

There’s a sense of dread that settles in your stomach when you realize there really is no going back and no more stalling. You can’t read the expression on his face, but you’re certain he’s not pleased with how slowly this is going.

Summoning your courage, you reach your hands up behind you and begin to pull the zipper down...

Permatag: @caffiend-queen @fckdeusername @lou-la-lou

Chris tag: @onetwo3000 @patzammit

Ransom tag: @jeremyrennermakesmesmile

Highest Bidder Taglist: @sapphirescrolls @just-another-wretched-egg @ladynightshade30 @angstsfordays @icanfeelastormbrewing @buckysteveloki-me @what-is-your-plan-today @iloganjade @twittytelly @xoxabs88xox @an-awkward-human-1 @fanfiction-trashpile @jtargaryen18 @donutloverxo @meaganottiz02 @princess-evans-addict @kianifan @asiaaisa77 @kelbabyblue @my-emotional-self @saiyanprincessswanie @random-things-i-love @captainchrisstan @daughterofthenight117 @buchanansebba @sweater-daddiesdumbdork @andiebell2023 @avengerraven1023 @dahkness @thatonefangirl111 @sllooney @sheerfreesia007 @chris-evans-indian-fanfic @suzieqsez @farremoved @edge-ofparadise @bellaireland1981

A note about tags: If your name is crossed out, I couldn’t tag you for some reason. While comments asking for me to tag you are okay, it is much easier for me to keep track of my tag lists if you send an ask. That’s the sure fire way to guarantee I’ll tag you.

Additionally, if I forgot to tag you, please gently remind me via my ask box.

#ransom drysdale #ransom drysdale fic #ransom drysdale fanfiction #ransom drysdale x reader #ransom drysdale x you #knives out fanfic #knives out fic #The Highest Bidder #pagesoflauren

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winterscaptain · 4 years ago

Text

in line.

Aaron Hotchner x Male Reader

request from anon: Thank you for sharing your writing on here! A blurb idea, because I hardly see any male readers, is that maybe Hotch has figured out he’s attracted to men too and has a boyfriend? Someone Hotch can go home to and be taken care of by them, someone Jack trusts? Because hotch spends all his time caring for the team, his s/o really spoils him with affection and TLC. I’m really soft for that idea, and the team being real pleased he’s found someone who appreciates him again. Hope you’re doing well! a/n: i wanted to give this a little more attention than a blurb, so it turned into a Whole Thing™ words: 2790 warnings: swearing, some drinking, derek being charming, and emily prentiss: patron saint of The Gays™

i don't have a specific male!reader taglist yet, so i added all yall on my gn!reader list, so nobody would miss this! lemme know if you wanna stay on the male!reader list or not - you’ll never hurt my feelings :)

masterlist | requests closed!

Aaron came home to all the lights off save one, illuminating a little scene before him - dinner (still hot) on the coffee table, a glass of wine, and you, holding the remote ready to start a movie.

He smiled, set his briefcase down, and slipped his shoes off.

“Jack’s at Jess’s,” you said, before he could ask. “I thought it would be a nice surprise to spend the evening, just you and me.”

He crossed to the couch and sat down, pressing a sweet kiss to your lips. “It’s a great surprise, thank you.” You grabbed his tie and tried to pull him down on the couch, but he pried your fingers off and laughed. “Let me change and I’ll come sit with you, alright?”

You picked up your glass of wine and tipped it his direction. “I’ll be here.”

It was true. When he returned and dropped down next to you, you were waiting for him. When he was firmly settled with dinner, you started the movie.

After a while, you asked, “Did the case go okay?”

He nodded. “We got ‘im. I had to stay and make sure the DA had a strong enough case, otherwise I would have been home yesterday.”

You leaned into him, and he wrapped an arm around you. “I don’t mind. Jack and I went out for a bike ride yesterday and didn’t miss you at all, not even a little.”

Aaron laughed. “Good.”

+++

“Damn it.”

Aaron forgot his lunch. He could see it in his mind’s eye, sitting there next to his travel mug of coffee on the kitchen island. Pinching the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger, he had just resigned himself to a takeout lunch when his phone rang.

“Hotchner.”

“Babe, you left your lunch here,” the light amusement in your tone dissolved his sour mood, and he smiled despite himself.

“I noticed.”

He could hear you shuffling around in the background as you spoke. “I’ll swing by and leave it downstairs after I drop Jack at school. No more than an hour, okay?”

Aaron smiled and sat in his chair, leaning back. “What did I do to deserve you?”

You laughed. “Absolutely nothing. I’m just a sucker for charity cases.” There was a shuffle, and you heard Jack laugh. You were probably at the table, poking the kid in the ribs until he almost got sick with laughter. Before Aaron could respond again, you said, “Alright, love you, bye!” and hung up.

Aaron rolled his eyes and got to work.

True to your word, no more than an hour later found you at the front of the Quantico Federal Building, Aaron’s lunch and coffee in your hand. You’d never seen the inside, but you knew you were on the visitors list.

Fuck it.

You checked in, got your visitor’s badge, and made your way to the sixth floor with only a little bit of spatial confusion. You knew which bullpen was theirs immediately - you had yet to meet the team, but you’d seen pictures and heard enough stories to keep track of names and faces.

You quickly stepped through the glass doors, doing everything in your power to avoid directing too much attention to yourself. But alas, Aaron worked with profilers, and they all noticed you despite your best efforts.

JJ’s head shot up. “Is that -”

“Hotch’s travel mug? Yeah.” Derek squinted at you as you took the stairs two at a time up to your boyfriend’s door.

You knocked, and a crisp “Come in” sounded from inside.

Aaron couldn’t hide his surprise when you poked your head through the door, stepping in and closing it behind you. He stood, circling the desk and leaning against it.

Boundaries were important to him at work, you knew, so you refrained from untoward affection, stepping back to a respectable distance after you set his things next to the file on his desk.

“How’d you get past security?” He asked, and you knew it was a joke.

“I guess they’re letting just about anyone in, these days.”

Aaron nodded, in facetious consternation. “Looks like it.” He broke after a moment, offering you a small smile. “Thank you. You didn’t have to come all the way out here.”

You shrugged. “Wasn’t too hard.”

He glanced out the blinds. The entire team averted their eyes, bumping into each other in their haste to look busy.

You followed his gaze. “It’s okay, Aaron. Don’t feel pressured to introduce me to any of them - I didn’t mean to put you on the spot.” There was a little swoop in your stomach.

Did I overstep?

He sighed. “I know. You didn’t. It feels a little...ridiculous to be hiding anything from them after all this time.” He reached out, and you took his hand, still a couple of steps away. His eyes stayed on your linked hands as they swung a little between you. “I don’t mean to hide you from them.”

You squeezed his hand with a warm, small smile. “I know.” And you did. It was big for him - explicitly and obviously coming out to his team was bound to be terrifying, and to add a new person on top of that?

I don’t envy him.

Meanwhile, down in the bullpen, everyone was taking turns reporting back on what was going on behind the blinds.

“They’re holding hands, and not in a handshake way,” Emily said, covering her face with a folder as she looked up.

JJ chanced a look. “He’s been a lot less uptight recently.”

“He’s also not coming in as early. His arrival time is, on average, about thirty-seven minutes later than five months ago.”

Emily looked at Spencer like he’d grown another head. “You keep track of when we come in?”

Spencer didn’t look up from his book. “Of course.”

“I’m glad he has someone,” JJ noted lightly. “It’s good for him.”

Back up in the office, you took a step toward Aaron. “You don’t have to do anything you’re not comfortable with, my love.”

He huffed a laugh and ran his thumbs over your knuckles. “Come to Dave’s the next time we all get together.”

“Really?” Your eyebrows felt like they were going to meet your hairline they shot up so fast.

“Yeah. They’d love to meet you.”

Your brow furrowed, confused. “How do you know?”

He shrugged. “They’re very predictable.”

+++

Needless to say, Aaron was right. They politely, pointedly, and casually posed questions about Hotch’s lunchtime visitor until he wasn’t able to avoid them anymore. Thus, he invited you to Dave’s the next time the team had a night off.

You were excited, but admittedly a little nervous. You were all headed to the car, Jack (very carefully) carrying the brownies you’d made that afternoon.

He was chatting away, telling you stories you’d already heard, about JJ and Emily and Derek and Spencer and Dave and Henry and etc. etc. etc.

You loved that kid.

When Aaron pulled up to the house, Jack jumped out of the car and walked through the front door like he owned the place. It made you laugh.

Aaron looked over, a fond smile on his face. “What?”

“Jack. He just -” you made a vague gesture with your hand - he just goes and goes, and Aaron laughed.

After a moment, you two sobered. He reached for your hand, and you laced your fingers with his.

“They’re going to love you. You know that.”

You snorted. “I certainly don’t.”

Aaron kissed the back of your hand and covered it, so two of his hands were holding one of yours. “Are you ready?”

“Are you?”

He patted your hand twice by way of an answer, releasing you and opening his door. You followed suit, waiting for him on the sidewalk.

When you actually looked, you realized how truly massive Dave’s house was. Aaron had told you he was well-off, with his book royalties and other savings, but the beautiful and tasteful mansion before you spoke to a bank account that had eight figures, rather than six.

Aaron stepped forward and offered you his hand. You took it. He led you up the flagstone path and through the front door, opening it without preamble.

The foyer was beautiful, opening to a staircase, the living room, and some kind of den or parlor off to the side. Aaron led you to the kitchen, where a statuesque woman with dark brown hair was mixing a drink. Emily.

She turned when she heard you enter, and a wide smile broke out across her face. “Hi!”

You dropped Aaron’s hand and offered it to her. She shook it readily, and you found yourself mirroring her smile. “Hi. Emily, right?”

She nodded, and spared a glance at Hotch. “Hotch, you know it’s polite to introduce guests.”

He huffed in good humor and gestured pedantically as he spoke. “Emily, this is my boyfriend, Y/N. Y/N, Agent Emily Prentiss.”

You were very impressed by his lack of hesitation over the word boyfriend, as it had been a topic of discussion in the past.

“It’s so juvenile. I feel like I’m in high school.” Aaron chuckled, staring up at the ceiling with his hands laced behind his head.

You rolled over onto his chest. “I can’t be your partner - you’ve already been a lawyer and I would hate to confuse people. You’re the one with a juris doctorate, not me.” You rested your chin on his pec, giving just a little more weight than was necessary.

He dropped one of his arms, and you scooted up to fit nearly under it. “Is it at all weird to have a boyfriend in one’s forties?”

You shrugged. “I think it’s whimsical.”

“Oh yeah, that’s me.” He laughed. “Whimsical in the extreme.”

Emily’s voice was warm and genuine when she told you, “It’s a pleasure to meet the person who keeps him,” she jabbed her index finger at Hotch, “in line.”

You laughed, the anxiety melting little by little. “Bold of you to assume anyone can keep him in line.”

She snorted. “Don’t I know it.”

Hotch crossed his arms over his chest. “Guys, I’m right here.”

“And?” You and Emily answered simultaneously.

He shook his head with a smile. “C’mon. If you want to continue making fun of me, there’s plenty of ammunition out back.”

You offered your arm to Emily, and she took it daintily. “Such a gentleman.” She looked over her shoulder as she started walking you to the back patio. “How’d you snag this one?”

“Apparently, he has a thing for charity cases,” Aaron deadpanned.

A few pairs of eyes flickered to you when you stepped out, and Emily’s hand squeezed you reassuringly. You already loved her.

Hotch came up to your side and grabbed your hand as Emily stepped away, stopped by two men who had to be Derek and Spencer (who needed a mediator for some inane, hair-splitting dispute they were having).

A couple who you assumed were JJ and Will smiled at you as you approached.

“JJ, Will, this is Y/N.” Hotch said, a little more confidence in his voice than before.

“I’m the boyfriend,” you supplied, and JJ laughed.

“I’m so glad you could make it!” She leaned close to you, and you dipped your head to listen. “We’ve been asking about you since you stopped by a couple of weeks ago.”

You raised your chin in a knowing fashion as you leaned back, once again including Hotch and Will in the conversation. “Ah, I see. So there’s lore?”

“Definitely.” She pursed her lips in mock solemnity.

You matched her facetious tone. “Don’t believe everything you hear.”

JJ broke then, smiling at you once more. “I never make that mistake.” Just then, a little blond boy ran up to her, attaching himself to her leg. She automatically put a hand on his head and gestured to you. “Henry, can you say hello to Mr. Y/N? He’s a really special friend of Hotch’s - like Miss Savannah is to Derek.”

“Hi.”

You crouched to Henry’s level, offering your fist. A look of satisfaction crossed his face as you bumped fists, your hands exploding out of it (with sound effects). “It’s so nice to meet you, man. Were you playing soccer over there?”

He nodded. “Yeah. Jack’s really good but he lets me get goals.”

“Wow.” You raised your eyebrows. “That’s really nice of him, and I bet you learn a lot, too.”

Jack called Henry from across the yard, and he offered you one last adorable grin before sprinting off. You rose, checking in with Hotch as you did so. JJ and Will were distracted watching Henry for the moment, so they missed the awe that crossed Aaron’s face for just a moment.

Your eyebrows pulled. What?

He shook his head. Nothing. But there was something there. Something fond and altogether content.

You heard Emily come up behind you before you saw her, so you turned as she approached with Derek, Dave, and Spencer.

You offered your hand first to Derek, and shot a smile to Spencer. Hotch had warned you before you left the house that Spencer didn’t shake hands.

“Nice to meet you, man. Derek Morgan.” Morgan’s grip was firm and warm. “Emily was just telling me I owe you a thanks for reminding Hotch he has a sense of humor.” Derek’s smile ate up his whole face as he beamed at you. It very nearly stole your breath - he was stunning, and smart. The way he phrased his introduction made it unnecessary to re-introduce yourself, and you were sure that soothed whatever remained of Hotch’s anxiety.

Hotch’s deadpan was decidedly dry. “Funny.”

That’s a good sign.

Spencer was quiet, but there was a little smile playing at his lips. He looked just over your shoulder, and seemed to communicate with someone behind you for a moment. It was only the barest changes in expression, but you’d been around Aaron long enough to know a silent conversation when you saw one, no matter how subtle. The outcome of the conversation looked good, as Spencer stifled another smile and looked over at Hotch.

You then offered your hand to Dave, who took it in both of his. “It is so good to finally meet you.” He shot a sly smile at Hotch. “I was beginning to wonder if you were a figment of my imagination a couple weeks ago.”

“I promise I am very real,” you said with a laugh. “It’s so great to meet all of you. I’ve heard so much about you.”

“All bad I hope,” JJ chirped from over your shoulder as she approached.

You nodded. “The worst.”

Aaron kissed your temple as the rest laughed, and you could feel the small smile resting on his lips. He sure was smiling a lot tonight, and you couldn’t help but feel a little proud that you had a lot to do with it.

A woman you could only assume was Penelope bounced up and swooped under Derek’s arm. “What did I miss?”

Hotch laughed (he laughed!) and introduced you. “Y/N, this is our tech analyst Penelope Garcia. Garcia, this is Y/N.”

Instead of a handshake, she just got out from under Derek’s arm and gave you a hug. You relaxed right into her.

She let you go after a second, but kept her hands on your upper arms. “I am so glad you’re here. I’ve been hoping someone would come along and snag our fearless leader before too long.” She winked, and it warmed you.

The rest of the evening flowed smoothly, eventually moving to the living room, and then to goodnights. Everyone wished you a warm goodbye, and Dave kissed you on both cheeks before letting you go. Jack was apparently spending the night at the Jareau-LaMontagne household, so you and Aaron were alone on the drive back.

You relaxed into the seat as he sped along the highway, his hand locked in yours across the center console. “That was really fun.” You looked over at him, finding less tension in him than you’d ever seen before. “Your team is incredible.”

“I know it. They’re the best at what they do.”

You kissed the back of Aaron’s hand. “I’ve heard it helps to have a great boss, or so Penelope tells me.”

He huffed a little laugh through his nose. “She is the authority on such things, as I understand it.”

The car was quiet for a few minutes.

“I - “ Hotch cleared his throat, but his gaze never wavered from the road. “I can’t tell you how much tonight meant to me.”

You squeezed his hand. “It was nothing.” You were lying, and he knew it, but at the end of the day, you’d do anything for him.

He smiled, broad and genuine, and you decided then that Aaron’s joy was your favorite sight in the whole world.

tagging: @arganfics @quillvine @stxrryspencer @agenthotchner @wandaswitxh @hurricanejjareau @fics-ilike @ange-must-die @ughitsbaby @rousethemouse @criminalsmarts @dr-reid-ismyspiritanimal @shrimpyblog @genevievedarcygranger @ssaic-jareau @saintd0lce @good-heavens-chris-evans @davidrossi-ismydad @angelsbabey @gublergirls @writefasttalkevenfaster @venusbarnes @vintagecaptainspidey @micaiahmoonheart @ogmilkis @thatreallyis-americas-ass @marvels-agents100 @newtslatte @risenfox @mrs-dr-reid @captain-christopher-pike @joemazzello-imagines @pinkdiamond1016 @sebbybaby0 @lilsiswinchester @pan-pride-12 @hotchlinebling @lee-rin-ah @sunshine-em @word-scribbless @jdougl-love @sageellsworth05 @emmice9 @nohalohoseok @giveusbackourbucky @writerxinthedark @mrshotchnerrossimulder21 @bauslut @yourlovelynewsbian @sparklingkeylimepie @aili28 @kingandrear @reader4027 @spnobsessedmemes @rogers-mouth @dreila03 @forgottenword @aaronhotchnerr @ssa-morgan @hotchnersgoddess @buckybau @phoenixfyre374 @sana-li @tegggeeee @abschaffer2 @ssacandi-ass-prentiss @songbird400 @dontkissthewriter @ellyhotchner @a-dorky-book-keeper @lotties-journey-abroad @mrs-joel-pimentel-23-25 @laneygthememequeen @ahopelessromantic @violentvulgarvolatile @swiftiesparkles @andreasworlsboring101 @mooneylupinblack @ssareidbby @violet-amxthyst @bwbatta @roses-and-grasses

#aaron hotchner x reader #hotch x reader #aaron hotchner imagine #criminal minds imagine #criminal minds x reader #criminal minds fanfiction #aaron hotchner #criminal minds #hotch #tali writes fanfiction #tali answers stuff #anon reply #tali talks cm #male reader

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spencessmile · 4 years ago

Text

Trinity House

Pairing - Spencer Reid x Reader

Summary - You and Spencer visit a bookstore that’s close to both of your hearts.

Warnings - Fluff

Word Count - 2216 words

And all imagines/fanfics/blurbs are written solely by me so please don't steal my work and post it without my consent. Happy reading!

A/N - Went to a bookstore earlier today and thought about this cute concept. Gah, I would do anything to be able to go to a bookstore with Spencer.

Requests are open!

Spencer sat across from you in the living room. He was seated near the fireplace, case files surrounding him.

You were on the couch, a bowl of mint chocolate chip ice cream in your left hand as you doodled in your sketchbook, feeling snug in his blue sweater that was over-sized on you.

"How are the drawings coming along?" Spencer asked, looking up at you.

"It's getting there," You said, going over the lines to give your drawing a messy look.

"We don't have any plans for the evening, right?"

"Well, I was planning on finishing this drawing and then starting my next one because I have a crazy idea for it."

"Mint chocolate chip ice cream and drawings, the two things to keep you happy in life."

"Make sure you never run out of mint chip ice cream or sketchbooks."

"Wouldn't dream of it babe," Spencer blushes.

"If I ever came home and our freezer didn't have any more mint chip ice cream or your desk didn't have piles of my favorite quality of sketchbooks, I would run away."

"I wouldn't let you run," Spencer responds.

"Good." You said, looking back down at your drawing.

You and Spencer continued to quietly work until you felt his eyes on you.

"Your staring at me," You said.

"I'm admiring."

"Well," You said putting your sketchbook down and walking over to him. "You're distracting me." You sat down beside him, flipping over his case files not wanting to see whatever he was working on. You had huge respect for what Spencer did for a living but you made it very clear to him to keep his case files feets away from you. You chose to see the good in the world but you knew that as you looked into one of those files you would lose all faith in the world, you didn't want that.

"Let's go to Trinity House," Spencer smiles.

"Really?"

"We haven't been in so long. Come on," Spencer helps you off the ground and races down the hall to grab his satchel.

"Can I at least change?" You ask as Spencer walks back out.

"Why?"

"Because I look a little messy," You motioned down to your clothes.

"I love when you look messy," He replies, pecking your lips.

Spencer held your hand as you drove passed down familiar streets. Spencer and you loved Trinity House in words you couldn't describe, maybe it was because it's where you first met Spencer and fell in love with a nerd who had the perfect golden brown eyes and a smile that made you melt.

"You know who's going to be really glad to see us?" You asked.

"Jess," You both said at the same time.

Jess worked at Trinity House for longer than before you and Spencer ever meant but she was the one who always teased you about Spencer whenever you would come in. It was the push from Jess and your lucky stars that you mustered up the courage to ask Spencer out one day when he walked in the bookstore.

"How long has it even been?" Spencer asked and you shrugged.

"It's been way too long."

"It's been far too long since we've come here," Spencer said, parking right in front of the bookstore. He unbuckled his side and helped you out.

"Thank you," You responded, kissing Spencer's kiss.

Spencer opened the door for you, stepping in you took in the smell of books and coffee.

"Y/N!" Spencer!" You turn to see Jess running towards you, hugging you tightly.

"Hi Jess," You said, as she pulled back and waved at Spencer. "I'm seeing you both after so long. I thought you forgot about this place." She exclaimed.

"I don't think that's possible," You said.

"Jess, how have you been?" Spencer asked.

"I've been good," She replied.

"I see you did some renovations," Spencer said, pointing to the several new paintings and remodeling that was done.

"Yup, wanted to give the place a more comfier feel? So, how does it feel?"

"Comfy," Spencer replied and she nodded.

"So?" She raised her eyebrow at you and Spencer. "How have you two been? Married? Any cute little genius babies yet?"

"Not yet," Spencer shook his head. "But I did ask Y/N to move in."

"Oh, did you say yes?" She said, looking at you.

"I couldn't resist," You reply. "He's just too pretty to resist."

Spencer blushed as he playfully pushes you away. "Go look for your books," He said. You walk away as you notice Spencer continuing his conversation with Jess.

You stare at all the new books that were apart of the Trinity House and you wanted them all. But you needed to control yourself because Spencer and your's apartment literally looked like a bookstore. There were books everywhere; left, right, in every corner of the apartment.

As you continued to gaze at all the books, Spencer and Jess watched you.

"She has the most incredible taste in books," Jess spoke.

"I choose from her side of the bookshelf more then mine," Spencer admitted, truthfully. "I thought nobody had better taste than me in books but she takes the crown." Jess laughs.

"She's always had an eye for the best," Jess said, and Spencer blushed. "Go find your books, I'll be in the back whenever you two love birds are done."

Spencer walks over to you.

"Find anything you like?" You looked up from your book to see Spencer.

"Is it bad that I want to buy this whole section of the shelf?" You pointed the left side. "They all are calling me name."

"Then add them to the pile baby," Spencer said, looking through your large stack of books on the small table.

"Did you find your book yet?" You asked.

"Is it weird that I'm nervous to look?" Spencer asked.

"Do you want me to look for you?" Spencer nods and took his hand and walk towards the R shelf. Spencer has been wanting to get his hands on The Essential Rumi book for months now and he only wanted the older version.

Your eyes quickly scan all the book titles until your eyes catch the book you're looking for. "Spence." You say, looking at him as his eyes were scanning another book from the shelf.

"Hmm," He responds. You pull out the book and put it in his reach of vision.

"They have it!" He whisperers, taking it slowly out of yours like it might fall into pieces if he grabbed it any quicker.

"They do," You smile as you looked at him admiring the book. "Babe, add it to the pile."

After another two hours or so Spencer finds you in the N section.

"Hey baby," Spencer called out for you.

"Hii," You respond.

"You already know that I love you but this book," Spencer grabbed it from you and ran his thumb over the cover. "Is heartbreaking." Spencer goes to put it back on the shelf but you stop him.

"I want to read it," You say.

"I don't want you reading this," Spencer said softly.

"Why not?"

"Because it'll make you cry."

"So?"

"You know it's breaks my heart when I see you crying," You lightly smiled at his response.

"I'll be okay my love," You said, kissing his cheek.

"Nobody is okay after reading this book," Spencer looks at you and you could tell this book hit Spencer somewhere deep. Spencer read thousands of books and remembers all of them but you remember Spencer telling you that there was one book that he'll never recover from and today you found which one.

"How about we buy it but I only read it when your home with me?" You ask. "So that if I do start crying you can be there to comfort me and tell me everything's going to be okay?" Spencer looks at you for a couple of moments before pulling you in for a small kiss.

"We can do that," He nods. "You ready to check out?"

"I think we got more than enough."

"You can never have enough books baby," Spencer said, carrying the basket full of books to the counter where Jess was waiting for you two.

You stand the shelf watching Spencer pay for books as you just simply admired him from afar. Spencer noticed you weren't beside him and he made grabby hands at you. You walked up beside him and laid your head on his shoulder.

"When will I see you two lover birds again?" Jess asked, slipping Spencer a receipt.

"As soon as we finish these," You pointed to the four bags on the counter, filled with books. You reached for a bag until Spencer smacked your hand away.

"No," He said, grabbing all the bags. "I got them." You smiled. "Thank you, Jess! See ya soon."

"I need to talk to Y/N Spencer," Jess said, holding onto your arm. "She'll meet you in the car in a couple of minutes."

"Everything okay?" Spencer asked, looking between you and Jess.

"Yup, just some girl talk."

"I'll be there in two minutes babe," You said and Spencer nodded. As soon as he was out of your and Jess's sight, she quickly grabbed a bag and handed it to you.

"When the book arrived I nearly cried," Jess said as you pulled out the book from the bag and looked at it. "He's going to love it."

You called Jess a couple of weeks back asking if she could track down a book for you that Spencer's wanting to get his hand's on for two years now.

"He is," You smiled, slipping her the money. "Thank you for doing this. I don't know how I'll repay you for this."

"You can repay me but having dinner with me. It's been way too long and we need to do some catching up."

"Yes. Definitely!" You say. "I'll see you real soon." You said walking out and getting into the car.

"You got another one?" Spencer questioned.

"It's the most important one," You said.

"Can I see which one?" He asked, curiously.

"I'll show once we get home."

"Okay," Spencer nodded. "Your cute." He added, kissing you.

"Your cute too."

"Not as much as you."

"I beg to differ."

Back at the apartment, you and Spencer stand on your separate sides of your huge bookshelf and organize your books with soft music playing in the background.

You were so concentrated in your books you didn't notice Spencer's hands wrap around your waist pulling you away from the bookshelf.

"Can you show me the last book you got?" Spencer asked.

"You really want to see it, huh?" You laughed.

"We always share our books with each other," Spencer spoke, he was right. You and Spencer always shared books.

"I can only get the book if you let go of me, my love." You say as Spencer let's go of you. You grabbed the bag and walk back up to him. "As I said earlier, this book was the most important." You held the bag in front of Spencer. "Open it." Spencer looked at you confused. He slowly opened the packaging.

You heard Spencer gasp as the cover of the book came into his vision.

"Y/N, you didn't," Spencer said, looking at the book in his hands.

"Oh but I did," You said, grabbing on his arm.

"Where did you find this book from? I haven't been able to get my hands on this for years!"

"I pulled a few strings." You smiled as Spencer looked at the book.

It was the book 'Between Shades of Grey' by Ruta Sepetys. Spencer had mentioned it several times he wanted it to be apart of his shelf more times then you could remember so you knew that you had to get it for him.

Spencer put the book down on the desk and looked at you.

"What's wrong? Is it the wrong one? If it is I can get it chan-"

"No, no, no," Spence shook his head. "It's the one." He said.

"Then what's wrong?"

"What's your favorite thing that you've found at Trinity House?" He asked, his voice soft.

Spencer's words put you in deep thought, you had found many things at Trinity House at were your favorite, you'd have no idea where to start.

"Want to know my favorite thing that I found at Trinity House?" He asked.

"What?"

"I found you at Trinity House." Your eyes began to water. "I found the most loving and adorable person there and I'm so thankful."

"I love you so much," You hugged Spencer as he rubbed your back. "And I thank my lucky stars for you every day."

Reading gives us someplace to go when we have to stay where we are - Mason Cooley

#spencer reid #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid angst #spencer reid fluff #BAU #criminal minds

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our-time-is-now · 3 years ago

Text

June 16, 2019 (1): Labels

(previous play)

You can find more information about the authors, translators, content warning and additional information about the plays in the pinned post on our blog.

Tuesday, 12:13 pm:

David: *had just taken a shower and brought his stuff back to the tent* *saw that everyone is more or less relaxing – Matteo, Mia, Amira and Abdi on the jetty, the rest in the water* *decides to make himself some hot chocolate and then join them* *therefore goes back to the cabin and sees Alex sitting on the porch with a book, his feet comfortably propped up on a chair* *briefly smiles at him and then goes inside* *spontaneously decides to join him and fixes two hot chocolates* *then goes outside again and puts one of the mugs down on the table next to Alex before sitting down next to him with the other mug* Hey… *smirks at the book* What book is so exciting that you prefer it over the others’ company?

Alex: *briefly looks up when David walks past him and nods at him* *looks back up when he comes out of the cabin again* *takes the bookmark from the table and closes the book when he sees that he’s joining him* *looks from the hot chocolate to him with a smile* *briefly wonders if it is fate that the people he somehow gets along with drink hot chocolate with him* Thanks… *then grins slightly and holds the book up so that he can see it* Ironically: “Conversations with friends”… *hands it over to him in case he wants to read the blurb* Is quite good… *takes a sip of his hot chocolate* And what about you? Didn’t feel like lake and jetty?

David: *sees that Alex has closed his book and takes this as a good sign that he’s not interrupting his reading, but that Alex is willing to talk to him* *nods at the hot chocolate and murmurs* Sure… *has learned through the flatshare that apparently Mia and Alex are the hot-chocolate-type just like Matteo and he, even though they have never had hot chocolate together before* *has to smile at the thought that the four of them might one day sit in the kitchen drinking hot chocolate* *then looks at the book Alex is holding up for him and laughs quietly* How fitting… may I? *takes the book and reads the blurb* *then nods and hands it back to him* Sounds good… *stretches a little and then also pulls a chair closer so that he can put his feet up as well* *shakes his head at Alex’ question* No, not really. Sometimes a little quiet isn’t so bad, either… *laughs quietly* I’m really surprised that no one had cabin fever, yet. But it also says a lot about the group of friends…

Alex: *nods slightly and puts the book back on the table* Yes, it is… *nods again at his comment* I told you… *then shakes his head* Oh, I think that’ll still happen, to be honest. Carlos would be a candidate, or Abdi. *sees David’s questioning look and has to smirk* Abdi is annoyed by the couples but doesn’t want to show it because they’re his friends, and Carlos is annoyed that he barely has time alone with Kiki, because she’s constantly doing something else. You and Matteo would also be good candidates, but you’re quite good at taking yourself out of a situation if you need time for yourselves. *laughs slightly at his look and shrugs one shoulder* I don’t talk much, but I see a lot.

David: *looks at Alex in disbelief when he predicts that the cabin fever will still come and then listens to him while he gives him reasons for each of the candidates* *draws up his eyebrows with a grin when he’s finished and is a little surprised about how good of an overview of the situation Alex seems to have* *then laughs at his next words and nods* I can see that… *takes a sip of hot chocolate and shrugs* To some extent, Matteo and I had our cabin fever with the binder-fight, but it’s true, we do take ourselves out of the situation if we need time for ourselves… *smiles slightly and says* Mia and you do that, as well… *then thinks* Okay, but then I think my bet is more on Carlos… I can’t really imagine it with Abdi… and Hanna and Jonas… no idea, I think those two are really chill… *is also thinking about Amira and Sam but can’t really imagine either of those two getting cabin fever*

Alex: *laughs slightly and nods* Yes, Mia and I do that as well… that’s why I didn’t say our names. And it wasn’t an accusation, on the contrary. *then nods when he says Carlos’ name* Yes, you’re probably right. Abdi would be more likely to keep it to himself or to just tell Carlos that it annoys him. *then nods at David’s other assumptions* Definitely not Hanna and Jonas. They like being amongst people way too much. For them it’s enough if the other one is also there. And Amira surely thought about this in advance, she knew what she was getting into, she won’t get cabin fever. *thinks about who they forgot and then says* And Sam is always in too much of a good mood. I mean: really all the time. Can’t really imagine her getting annoyed at some point.

David: *looks at him in amusement when he also tells him his reasoning for the others and nods at everything* *then laughs quietly* I think that’s all there is to say about this. You really have a good overview, oh man… *takes another sip and then says* Okay, let’s wait and see. We still have a few days… *keeps quiet for a moment and then changes the topic* Did Mia already tell you that Hans wants to cook for all of us on Sunday? This time, he explicitly mentioned that you and I are also supposed to come! *still remembers the cooking night where Alex and he had been excluded and now thinks that on nights where Hans doesn’t want to include them, they could actually spend them together in the future*

Alex: *shakes his head in amusement* Woohoooo, I have the overview. *but then nods when David says to wait and see* *then nods again* Yes, she told me. We’re really living up to the fact that we joined the group later. Even Hans can no longer deny my existence… *shrugs one shoulder when David looks at him questioningly* Oh, I think he doesn’t really like me… but only because he loves Mia so much, I think. A little like a mother who is worried that her child is taken away from her. *also thinks about the night where Hans had explicitly only invited the people from the flatshare* *thinks that he’ll soon be out of this, anyways* Well, once Mia is in Madrid, that’s not gonna be an issue, anyways. Then he doesn’t have to pretend to accept me.

David: *looks at Alex questioningly when he talks about joining the group later and about Hans and then immediately gets an explanation* *somehow has a thousand questions in his head because he feels like he can’t really estimate the situation as Hans rarely gives him the feeling of not being welcome – apart from his attempt at a more serious conversation in the beginning* *therefore shrugs at first when he hears Alex’ words before he says* Well, I’m not aware of thaaaat much. I can’t really judge the situation. I think he just likes it when his flock is around him and he doesn’t like it if some of them get lost. If Matteo and I are at my place for a few days, he asks really often when we’ll show up at the flatshare again. I think he also does that with Mia, right? They have this WhatsApp group for their flatshare… So if I were you, I wouldn’t take it too personal. He probably just wants everyone to be at home. *looks at him from the side when he talks about Madrid and grins slightly* Maybe you should still just come over to the flatshare more often. You can come visit Matteo and me. Would be interesting to see Hans’ reaction when he realizes that you’re also there without Mia. Besides, it’s only three months where she’s gone. After that, he would probably continue to bug her about it whenever she spends a few days at your place. *shrugs* I don’t think that Hans is the type of person who just pretends to accept someone. He’s quite clear about what he wants. Otherwise, he wouldn’t have said that he didn’t want us there at that one cooking night.

Alex: *listens to David attentively* *thinks about whether Hans had ever been unwelcoming and thinks that David is probably right* Yeah, well, we really are at my place more often than at the flatshare… it just lends itself, you know? *is a little surprised when David invites him* *has to smirk a little* Do you think our bond is ready for making real plans and not just for accidental run-ins in the hallway? *grins, but then nods briefly* But yes, why not? *but then thinks about when that is* But that time is also your surgery and recuperation period, right? Do you really want to have people around you all the time?

David: *nods when Alex says that it lends itself that they spend more time at his place and grins slightly* More alone-time, of course. *then laughs when Alex mentions their bond and shrugs* You said that you barely have any contact with the people from your old year… but you’re reading a book with the title “conversations with friends”… so far, you’ve never really rejected a conversation with me… so I’ll just foolishly make the assumption that you are interested in further deepening our /bond/… *makes air quotes* …so yeah, I do think that we’re ready for making real plans… otherwise we really won’t see each other much – apart from accidental run-ins in the hallway and in the middle of the night on the way to the bathroom… *then smiles when he agrees* Cool… *then grins again slightly when he mentions the surgery and the recuperation period* I think that I’ll be glad to have /normal/ people around me every now and again and not only the ones who constantly fuss over me once I’m feeling a little better again…

Alex: *listens to him in amusement when he talks about their bond* *thinks that David is a real phenomenon, because he usually doesn’t talk much, either, but as soon as it gets personal, he uses a lot of words to express himself* *nods slowly and with a smirk and only says* Yes, I also think that we’re ready. *then laughs at his last words* “Normal” people that don’t fuss over you? Should I mention that you told me that in front of Matteo and Hans? *takes another sip of hot chocolate* No, but I get it. It can be really exhausting if people worry about you like that. *looks at him in amusement* How much “care” do I have to expect when I give you the injection?

David: *grins when he hears his question* You won’t be able to stop Hans, even if you told him… neither with my sister… or Matteo… *briefly presses his lips together and then says hesitantly* Matteo knows that he’s sometimes too worried about me… but somehow it’s also okay for me… I think it would be the same if it were the other way round… *shrugs and says* You can’t just turn off your worries… I don’t want to shut him out or forbid him to worry. I do want to take him serious… and it’s not that bad… *then laughs briefly when he mentions the injection and runs a hand over his face* No clue, to be honest. Maybe he’ll be really cool, maybe not. I’ll talk to him about it again beforehand…

Alex: *listens to him when he talks about Matteo and somehow recognizes himself in it* *would also be worried about Mia, but knows that Mia would probably mind that more than David does, because Mia would think that it would undermine her independence* I don’t think being worried is that bad, it’s also a sign of affection. *then hears that David doesn’t know how Matteo will react* I guess you can talk to him about it as much as you want. When it’s time, he probably won’t be able to hold himself back. We’ll see.

David: *nods a little in relief that Alex seems to understand Matteo and that he doesn’t find it exaggerated* *really thinks that Matteo’s way of reacting to worries is sometimes a little worrisome and thinks that this is one of the reason why it’s important that the people in his life also take his worries serious instead of downplaying them* Yes, I agree. It basically just shows that I’m important to him. *then smiles slightly when Alex says that talking probably won’t help much* What matters is that you don’t screw up the injection because of it… *grins slightly and then asks* Why did you even have to do thrombosis injections? Did you have to be on bedrest for a longer period of time?

Alex: *watches him as he talks about Matteo* *but can’t really read him well enough, yet, to see that David is also worried about Matteo* Yes, definitely. *shakes his head* Don’t worry. If it gets too much, I’ll just kick him out. *then grins slightly at his question* I fell down the stairs, wasn’t really that bad, but I had a cast for a couple of weeks and had to do injections against thrombosis…

David: *shakes his head and laughs quietly* I don’t think that you can just kick him out so easily… but let’s wait and see… *really hopes that it won’t be so bad that Alex has to kick Matteo out because he also thinks that it’s important for Matteo to see with his own eyes that nothing is happening to him and that everything is okay* *that’s one of the main reasons he wants him there* *then listens to Alex when he tells him about his accident and nods* *then grins slightly* And since you are a tough guy you said that you can do it yourself and don’t want to constantly go to the doctor for that…

Alex: *also grins* Is he really that cool? Is he really such a tough guy? Or did the doctor maybe simply not give him a choice? *shakes his head* No, the doctor really gave me the choice, but I never had a problem with doing the injections myself, so I did it myself… *shrugs* The trick is to pretend that it’s not your leg. So with you, that really shouldn’t be a problem.

David: *gives him the secretary’s-office-look when Alex teases him, but then nods happily when he does get a serious answer* Be glad that you don’t have a problem with it. I wish I could say the same… then I wouldn’t have to go see a doctor every 3 to 4 weeks… *then grins when he tells him about his trick* I think I wouldn’t really have any problems with it, either, if it weren’t my own leg… sometimes I think that it might just need some practice or that you would just have to bring yourself to do it at first but then it would get better… *laughs quietly* But so far, I just couldn’t bring myself to do it… *looks at him* Did it immediately go well? Or did you also have to bring yourself to do it at first?

Alex: *nods* Yes, I get it… unfortunately for you it’s permanent, I only had to do it for a couple of weeks. *then shakes his head* When the doctor showed me, I didn’t have any problems, when I had to do it at home for the first time, it was more difficult. But I got lucky and managed to get even the first injection done really well and it didn’t really hurt more than when the doctor did it, and afterwards I managed quite well… *looks at him and then asks a little more hesitantly* And what will it be like after the surgery? Do you still have to get injections that often?

David: *listens to him and really considers maybe asking the doctor to show him and to try it himself* *so far, has always gotten his injectins from a doctor, and only in the butt, and plans on closely observing Alex on Thursday* *nods at his words and takes another sip of hot chocolate* *exhales when he hears his next question and look over to him* *hesitates briefly but then shakes his head* It has to be adjusted afterwards – not because of the mastectomy… I… during the surgery I’ll also have my ovaries, fallopian tubes and uterus removed, and therefore my body will produce less estrogen and will also need less testosterone. It will probably be changed from a 3-4 week rhythm to a 4-5-week rhythm… but like I said, it first has to be tested and takes some experimenting… *has turned a little red and is also a little restless and nervous because it’s so unusual to talk about this with someone other than Matteo or his sister* *briefly gnaws on his bottom lip and takes another sip of his hot chocolate*

Alex: *listens to him interestedly and nods while he talks* *notices only afterwards that David is nervous and realizes that it had been really personal* But that sounds good. To have everything removed at the same time, I mean. And if that means fewer injections, then that’s even better, isn’t it? *looks at him questioningly for a moment* *doesn’t really like to admit when he’s a little insecure, but thinks that David deserves it after being so honest* I tried to do some research after you asked me about the injection. But somehow you don’t find a lot of information, or to be honest, a lot of vague information online… it always says that there are different options and it always says that everyone’s reaction is different and everyone deals with things differently… so if I say or ask something stupid, then just tell me, okay? I know that Sam annoyed you with her questions and… well… I don’t want to annoy you, okay?

David: *nods when Alex says that it sounds good* Yes, I agree. *is still a little nervous but also thinks that it’s somehow a good thing that Alex knows about it – that the others will also eventually learn of it somehow, even if it’s shortly after his surgery when they realize that he doesn’t only have scars on his chest but also on his abdomen* *is still a little lost in his thoughts when he suddenly hears Alex say something again but quickly looks at him and listens to him in concentration* *smiles while he listens to him because he’s so happy that Alex was trying to inform himself a little* *immediately shakes his head at the end of his little speech and reassures him* You don’t annoy me! *briefly runs his hand over his face and groans quietly* It was something completely different with Sam. First of all the tone of voice and the choice of words… and then… I don’t know, I felt like she didn’t ask because she’s really interested… because she’s really interested in /me/ but just for…sensationalism? I don’t know… I mean Carlos sometimes also has a very clumsy way of asking questions, but with him, it’s just obvious to me that he’s really interested. I mean, he also did some research and is super proud about his knowledge – that’s somehow… really nice! *shrugs* And yes, the stuff on the internet is sometimes a little misleading because every trans man is different. You can’t really generalize much. *finally gets to his point* But no, you don’t say anything stupid and I think it’s really cool that you tried to do some research! *thinks that sometimes he would also like to be able to do some research on Alex, because he still knows hardly anything about him*

Alex: *hears that he doesn’t annoy him and smiles slightly* *then nods slowly when he tells him about Sam and Carlos and can really understand his feelings about that* Yes, I understand that, with Carlos it’s about you, with Sam it’s somehow only about the topic itself. *nods again* Yes that was also my impression during research, that it’s all really depending on the individual. *then smiles a little more when he says that it’s cool that he did some research* Like I said, I tried. But I somehow also thought that it’s up to you what you want to tell me and what not. It’s also stupid to just read some stuff online and to expect it to apply to you. I also don’t want people to google “white, rich son” and think that this is who I am.

David: *nods when Alex summarizes the difference between Sam and Carlos so well* Exactly! *then listens to him again and nods again* Yes, that’s somehow true. But in the beginning it was really helpful when people already knew a little bit. It used to be a lot harder for me to talk about it… *thinks that at first it had really been a help to him that the people in his life had at least done a little bit of research, especially Matteo, but also Jonas, Hanna and Carlos, because until a few weeks ago, he wouldn’t really have known how to talk about it and that it was really helpful if they asked questions* *then realizes how much he has developed since then, how open he can now be with it – if he wants to – and that it’s also thanks to Matteo and his friends, who have simply made it easy for him* *has to smirk a little at the end of Alex’ speech and is then grateful for Alex’ words so that he also gets a chance to ask a question* So what would one have to google instead to find out who you are? *laughs quietly* Yes, okay, you can really forget about google in that context… but I can’t just ask: “Alexander Hardenberg – who are you? What’s your favorite color? What are your biggest secrets?” *makes a dramatic voice while he says that but then grins again* You really are a little mysterious! And we’re always only talking about me! One day I demand a return of the favor and then I want more details… otherwise that deeper bond thing won’t work out… *grins even more to hide his nervousness and insecurity a little, because he doesn’t know if Alex even wants to talk about himself* *reaches for his mug again*

Alex: *tilts his head slightly when he asks what one would have to google* *isn’t sure if he and David are already in a place where he wants to tell him very personal things about him* *likes him the most out of all the people here, but still hasn’t really known him for that long* *it just usually takes him a while until he can estimate how people think of him* My favorite color is light blue. *doesn’t add that it’s because it’s Mia’s eye color* *then hears him talking about the deeper bond again and knows that he’s right, even though he says it jokingly* It’s still too soon for my deepest of secrets. But how about I tell you that I have a really big fear of loss. Really badly. It has to do with a lot of things, and my therapist says that it’s actually a good thing that Mia will go to Madrid, because I can learn a lot from that. But actually, I’m only scared.

David: *smiles when Alex tells him his favorite color but then says with a smirk* That’s a really good start. And a good favorite color… *takes a sip of hot chocolate and doesn’t really know if he might have been too straightforward* *really dislikes it a little to always use the term “bond” because it sounds as if they were planning all of this, but sometimes he can’t really stop himself from making a few jokes about it – even though the line between seriousness and fun is usually quite fluid* *therefore nods when Alex says that it’s too soon for his biggest of secrets and murmurs* It’s okay… *was actually about to say that it had only been a joke and that he doesn’t want to convince or urge him into anything when Alex already continues* *listens to him and feels his heartbeat pick up when he realizes how open Alex is right now* *didn’t really expect that and at first doesn’t really know what he should say* *eventually clears his throat and quietly says* Ummm… okay… that’s a really good start for a deeper bond… *but immediately gets serious again* Thanks for telling me! I… I don’t know what to say… fear of loss must surely suck and I can understand that you’re afraid that Mia is leaving… and you probably already know every “but” that I could tell you now and rationally speaking, you know that I’m right, but that doesn’t change anything about your fears… so… you’ll just get a thanks for telling me. *knows from his dysphoric phases that rational tips and thoughts aren’t really much use and just hopes that this might also apply to fear of loss* *smiles slightly and looks at Alex insecurely because he doesn’t know if he found the right words*

Alex: *thinks that it might have been too much for David, after all, when he doesn’t say anything at first* *then smiles slightly when he mentions the bond again* *was just about to make up some excuse so that he can disappear and so that David doesn’t have to respond when he does say something* *listens to him and at first doesn’t really know what he’s feeling right now* *but then realizes that he feels understood and smiles slightly* Yes, rational thought rarely helps with that. *slightly shrugs one shoulder* Sometimes it’s better, sometimes it’s worse, so I’m working on it... and of course Mia helps a lot. *his expression softens when he thinks about her* You probably know that, right? *but then looks at David again* *smiles slightly when he realizes that he really trusts him* You’re quite all right, David Schreibner.

David: *at one point notices that Alex is smiling a little and just hopes that it’s a sign that he said something right* *then smiles even more when Alex confirms that rational thought doesn’t help and also nods at his next words* *sees the soft expression he has when he’s talking about Mia and immediately has to think of Matteo and that he probably feels the same when he thinks about him* *nods when he asks if he knows what it’s like, even though he doesn’t know what exactly he’s referring to, but could actually nod at everything* Yes… for me it’s also sometimes better and sometimes worse with my dysphoria… on good days the feeling that Matteo’s there and that I’m no longer alone helps. On bad days nothing really helps… then I would preferably just hide somewhere. *stares into his almost empty mug* *then hears Alex’ next words and smiles immediately* *shrugs and murmurs* I’m trying my best… *is really happy that apparently Alex does trust him at least somewhat and that they’re sitting here talking so openly* *grins slightly and then says* And you’re apparently a lot more than google would spit out for “white rich son”… *looks at him and hopes that this wasn’t too much of a joke and that Alex knows that he’s grateful that he told him something so personal*

Alex: *nods when he’s talking about his dysphoria* *somehow understands it, even though he can’t really relate to being uncomfortable in your own body* And is that what you do? Hide yourself? *takes the last sip of his hot chocolate and laughs slightly* Yeah, well, you’re more than a “gay trans teen” as well, right? *briefly looks over to the lake and then back at David* Somehow, everyone’s more than their labels, right? Matteo isn’t just a “gay stoner kid” and Jonas is more than “political woke white guy”… *then sees Matteo coming towards them from the jetty* Looks like you’ll be wanted in a second…

David: *shrugs and says* Yes, sometimes I do… I used to do it more often than now… *sighs quietly* In the past, I often just ran away and… yes, I hid. Until I felt better. But… *shrugs* … I promised Matteo to not just run away again. Hiding at home is okay, but no more running away. But even the thing with hiding is getting better… *smiles slightly* After all, I’ve been sitting here with a hoodie for three nights despite this heat… I’d say: At the moment I’m facing my fears, even though it’s difficult. *looks at him* And to some extent, you do that as well by letting Mia go. You could also ask her to stay… or just go to Madrid with her for those three months… *then nods when he’s talking about the labels* Yes, you’re right. But it’s not just that you put labels onto other people – often you also put labels onto yourself because you’re less vulnerable if other people only see the label… and then you decide for yourself who’s allowed to peel off the label and who isn’t… maybe it also depends on who even tries to make an effort and wants to look under the label… *laughs quietly* Sorry, I didn’t mean to get philosophical… *then also looks toward the jetty and smiles when he sees Matteo*

Alex: *nods slightly when he says that he often ran away in the past* *smiles slightly* Yes, it’s a little different when suddenly someone’s waiting for you. *sighs slightly and nods* Yes to face the fear. That sometimes works better, and sometimes not so well. *then listens to him when he’s talking about labels and nods* Yes, a label is also a form of protection, and not always a bad thing, it can also help to make you feel like you belong somewhere, but it can also hide a lot, that’s true. I think ultimately labels aren’t important or don’t say enough. But I get why it helps some people* *grins slightly when he apologizes* Why not? *then sees that Matteo is now within earshot* Hey… *sees Matteo grin and nod at him: “Hey.”* *sees him ruffle through David’s hair almost in passing and hears him say: “I’m hungry… do you also want something?”* *shakes his head* I don’t, thanks.

David: *laughs slightly when he asks again* Because I haven’t looked far enough under your label to know if you want that!? *then also sees that Matteo has now reached the cabin and smiles* Hey… *slightly leans into his hand when he ruffles his hair but then gets his hair back into order immediately afterwards* *has to grin when he says that he’s hungry but then nods when he asks if they also want something* Sure! *then turns back to Alex after Matteo disappeared into the cabin and just continues with the topic because Alex had already answered in detail and is therefore apparently interested in the topic* Yes, the label either helps you to feel like you belong, but it can also help isolate yourself. And I agree with you, they don’t really say enough, but I still think they’re important! It is also a form of self-protection – like a wall. Stop! Until this point you’re allowed to see me, but no further! And whoever wants to see more just has to put in a little effort to be allowed to look over the wall.

Alex: *grins slightly in amusement when David puts his hair back into order and Matteo disappears into the cabin* Umm… does he know what you want? Oh, why do I even ask? Of course he knows. *laughs slightly but then gets serious again when David picks the topic back up* *nods* Yes, that’s what I mean. Labels are somehow both, good and bad. Good as a protection and for identification, but bad because it also isolates you and also limits you to some extent, right? Just by using labels in the first place, others already have to put in more effort, right? And hey, I do that as well, I know that, and sometimes it’s a good thing, but sometimes it’s also a bad thing.

David: *looks a little confused for a second when he hears Alex’ question about the food, but then laughs quietly and nods* *then repeats Alex’ words with a grin* Of course he knows… *then listens to Alex and says* But you decide it for yourself how much it limits you from a person and how it isolates you. Let’s take you as an example and really use the label of “white rich son”. For Mia you’re certainly a lot more. Mia has probably peeled the label off completely and can see everything. I’m just scratching the surface and I’m curious to know what you want to show me! But I’m scratching. Because at some point I thought that I would like to know what’s hidden underneath your label. But there are surely people who aren’t really interested. And why should you open up to them and make yourself vulnerable!? *has to think about the people from his old school and doesn’t even want to imagine how much they would have hurt him had he also opened up to them*

Alex: *slowly nods at his words* Yes, of course, you’re right. You just filter in advance. Who’s worth it? Who do I allow to get close? *shrugs one shoulder* But if all those labels didn’t exist… if there weren’t any prejudices about being rich or about being trans, then we would meet people completely without bias. *somehow has to smile a little about himself, because he definitely recognizes Mia in that line of thought and because he wouldn’t have said something like that half a year ago* Just imagine, you would have met Matteo and hadn’t been scared of what he might think when he sees that you’re wearing the label “trans”. Wouldn’t that have been a lot more chill for you? *shrugs* I mean, I still agree with you, don’t get me wrong. But yeah, there are always two sides, aren’t there?

David: *nods when Alex understands his words and when he repeats them* Exactly! *then continues to listen to him and briefly presses his lips together* *shakes his head slightly* Of course that would have been more chill… but that’s an ideal conception that unfortunately has nothing to do with reality… of course you would like everyone to be tolerant and enlightened – that would be great. And it would probably really be easier to reach that ideal conception if everyone would just take off their labels and you could maybe see that many people have similar fears or desires. But not everyone would go along with that, ever! There are always some assholes that would make use of exactly that, this vulnerability… *takes a deep breath and shakes his head* *laughs quietly and then says* Sorry, that sounds totally bitter. I just had a really horrible experience at my old school… it was just… I just felt really bad because of it… And I basically only realized that there are people that are really interested in what’s behind that label after I came to Berlin. So I also know both sides, sure…

Alex: *nods and listens to him in concentration* *has to smirk again when David says that it’s an ideal conception, because that’s usually something that he accuses Mia of* *therefore quickly says* Sure, you’re right. That’s really an ideal conception. But sometimes it might still be helpful to remember that. *shakes his head* That doesn’t sound bitter, you simply had your own experience. It’s only natural to draw your conclusions from that. *then sees Matteo coming back out of the cabin again, two sandwiches in one hand, obviously for him, and a plate with two sandwiches for David in the other one* *sees him put them down in front of David, press a quick kiss to his lips and then turn around again to leave and hears him say: “Have fun, see you later!”* See you… *looks after him for a moment and then back at David*

David: *thinks about what Alex said about ideal conceptions and slightly tilts his head* *doesn’t really know what good that would do and has to think about it a little more* *then nods at his next words* Yes, that’s true… and obviously the experience at my old school shaped me more than the experience I made in Berlin, as I just realized in my little speech… that’s actually a pity… but… *stops when Matteo comes back out and grins slightly when he sees how much food he has* *briefly puts his hand to the back of his neck when he leans down for a quick kiss, runs his hand through the hair at the back of his neck, smiles and murmurs a quiet “thanks” against his lips* *then lets go of him and looks after him with a smile* See you later. *then turns back to Alex and continues* But what I’d really like to know… *grins slightly* I’ve always felt like /you/ were much more closed off than I am – that you’re hiding much more behind your label. How come that now you’re the one that’s making a plea against labels and instead for ideal conceptions!? *laughs quietly and reaches for his plate* *holds it out to Alex* You really don’t want anything? Both of them are too much for me, anyways…

Alex: *laughs slightly when he hears David’s question* I like having the opposite standpoint… *slightly shakes his head* No, I simply learned somehow that gridlocked thoughts and views aren’t always good, I think… I’m not that big on ideal conceptions, either, I’m also realistic, but it’s not a bad thing to sometimes think about this, is it? *looks at the plate and considers briefly* Maybe half of one, thanks… *takes one half of the cheese sandwich*

David: *throws him a small secretary’s-office-look at his words about the opposite standpoint, but then listens to him further* *nods* Yes, I guess that everyone’s doing that automatically, depending on what kind of experiences they had. Some experiences confirm the inner realist, others the inner idealist… *smiles when Alex wants one of the sandwiches, after all, and takes half of the salami sandwich for himself before putting the plate back on the table* *takes a bite and chews* *then sees Mia coming from the jetty to the cabin and grins slightly* *imitates Alex* Looks like you’ll be wanted in a second… *laughs quietly* Matteo probably told Mia: “Hey, they’re still sitting in front of the cabin working on their bond…”

Alex: *nods* Yes, absolutely. It’s always about your own experiences. But it’s also about making yourself aware of what your own experiences are doing to you. *takes a bite off his cheese sandwich and grimaces slightly* What else did he put on that? *was just about to peek under the cheese when David says that he’ll be wanted soon* *looks up and sees Mia and smiles automatically* *then also laughs* Probably… Mia is totally proud of me… *slightly grins at him* So don’t screw it up for me and turn out to be a complete idiot, after all.

David: *laughs quietly at Alex’ words and shakes his head* *then looks at him in apology because his statement wasn’t really anything to laugh about* I think our therapists have the same approach… *then gets serious again* But yes, it’s true. But sometimes I find it hard to remember that what I’m feeling is based on my experiences and didn’t just come out of nowhere. Often I only remember that afterwards, but in the situation itself I can’t really reflect on that. *then frowns when Alex asks about the cheese sandwich and reaches for the plate on the table* *has a hunch and laughs quietly when he lifts the cheese* Sorry… umm… whipped cream, mustard and ketchup… it’s an inside joke… would you rather like salami – there’s only butter underneath it. *holds the plate out to him* *sees that Mia is now closer and doesn’t get the chance to ask what Mia is proud of* *hears his next words and pffs quietly before Mia reaches them* *sees her stop in front of the table with a smile and really hears her ask: “Na? Are you working on your bond?”* *sees her grin and also has to grin a little, but quickly gets serious again and shakes his head* No, not today. Today we’re having a philosophical, socio-critical and psychological digression!

Alex: *even laughs as well* Might be. Therapists can sometimes be alike… *then nods* Yes, that’s also somehow understandable, during a situation the feelings take over instead of the mind. *grimaces again when he tells him what else is on the sandwich and puts it back on the plate* You do realize that you two sometimes seem very odd to outsiders, right? *picks up the other half of the salami sandwich with a chuckle* *then looks at Mia with a smile when she reaches them* *grins at her question and even more at David’s answer* *sees Mia grin and nod and hears her say “I see” and then “and of course, that doesn’t help your bond, at all… I actually didn’t want to disturb, but I wanted to take a little walk and wanted to ask if someone wants to join?”* *looks at David and asks* Do you mind if we continue our philosophical, socio-critical and psychological discussion another time?

David: *nods at Alex’ words about feelings and the mind* *then laughs at his words about Matteo’s and his’ habits and shrugs* *then says with a grin* If you peel off the label, all of that has a deeper meaning… *now picks up the other half of the cheese sandwich and takes a bite* *still thinks that it tastes weird but somehow good and keeps eating* *shakes his head very seriously at Mia’s question about the bond and says* No, not at all… *but then grins* *then hears that Mia wants to take a walk and shakes his head at Alex’ question* No, no problem… it’s okay… I’ll just go find Matteo and break it to him that the whipped cream under the cheese wasn’t really your thing… *grins slightly and lifts his hand in goodbye when the two disappear toward the forest*

Alex: *laughs and then nods* Your label of being a weird couple? Let’s see if I’ll ever get that far… *then gets up when David says that he doesn’t mind* *grins slightly* You do that, we don’t want him to think too much of me after all… *then also lifts his hand in goodbye and then takes Mia’s hand before they go towards the forest*

(next play)

#druck #og druck #matteo florenzi #david schreibner #davenzi #davenzi plays

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earsofducks · 4 years ago

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Day 4 - Blogging

Hello and welcome to blogging and online dating and such an intense crush, my gosh.

@ineffablehusbandsweek - thank you for reblogging everything, and thank you for putting this together!!! Why did I not say this before?? You’re fantastic and I appreciate you.

One of Crowley’s favourite things about being a full-time blogger is that he can sleep whenever he wants to for however long he wants. For example, it’s two in the afternoon on a Tuesday, and he’s only just rolling out of bed and no one is judging him. What a good life.

He yawns, stretches, finds some water and drinks it. He stalks past his plants with a hypocritical “don’t you dare slack off.” He fetches his laptop from the living room and takes it with him into the kitchen, where he sets it on the table and then rummages in the fridge for some eggs.

Eggs are timeless. Eggs are always appropriate to eat. Crowley loves eggs.

Once he’s beaten and scrambled them to his satisfaction, he sits down at the table and opens his laptop.

20,000 hits. Not bad, he thinks, grinning to himself.

It helps that he used to be a network-employed journalist. He was good at it, too, at asking questions, at wheedling until an interviewee caved and told him the whole truth. But it felt restricting, being assigned things, only writing what his bosses handed him, so once his name got big enough he left the network and started a blog.

And somehow, it’s providing him with enough to live on.

He scrolls through the comments section, telling himself that he’s not looking for anyone in particular and knowing full well it’s a lie. He’s just about given hope when there’s a ping, a notification, and he clicks on the little pop-up, hoping that maybe…

And it is.

Angel1941: This was absolutely lovely, my dear. I have been so enjoying the chronicles of Frances the Fern. I hope that she starts behaving for you. Have a good week!

Crowley doesn’t bother hiding the massive grin that spread over his face the second he saw the user name. Angel, as he’s been calling the commenter in his head, started commenting on his posts about four months ago, and has been taking up progressively more space in Crowley’s mind.

He gets up from the table, grinning like a loon, and sets about making coffee while reflecting on how he should respond. It’s not like he can just say what he’s thinking. (What he’s thinking is something along the lines of “when did I develop a crush on you? Why did I develop a crush on you? We’ve never met each other!” Not the sort of stuff you can just post online.) He’s got to be clever, subtle, allude to the fact that Angel brings him joy without stating it explicitly.

He can do it.

Except he can’t. After a couple of hours, he gives up and replies in some little blurb about how Frances will shape up if she knows what’s best for her, and it’s good to hear that someone’s reading. Not even close to the witty, heartfelt content he was hoping for.

Discouraged, he goes searching for his phone and then pulls up a dating app when he finds it. Nothing to get your mind off of silly internet crushes like the cathartic left-right-left of Tinder. (Crowley is just enough of a public figure that sometimes people accuse him of catfishing, which is always fun. He enjoys catering to their suspicions, sending increasingly wacky and grammatically incorrect messages, until they report him and he gets to pull the ‘surprise! It’s really me!’ card.)

Crowley starts swiping, starting to warm to his work, and then a profile slides across his screen and his heart skips a beat.

Angel1941.

There’s the angel, beaming up at him, wearing a truly bizarre tartan bowtie and a suit that looks like it belongs in the 1800s. And he’s using the same username. What an old-fashioned... But he’s smiling, he’s happy, he’s beautiful, and Crowley can feel himself melting into the couch cushions.

He can’t swipe right. Angel won’t like him, not in real life. They’ll talk for a little bit and then Angel will, wisely, decide that Crowley is too much and he’d rather not have him in his life. Crowley won’t get comments that make him Snoopy dance internally. Crowley won’t have anything to look forward to.

(Crowley might just be enough. Angel might just like him. All his dreams might just come true.)

Not probable, but the possibility will be much more concrete than if he doesn’t take the risk.

Well, shucks, he thinks, and swipes right.

It’s a match! the screen congratulates him, and Crowley’s insides flop around like fish out of water.

Well, that’s done now, he tells himself, and sets his phone down resolving not to look at it again unless he gets a notification.

He picks it up a few minutes later.

After agonizing nearly the entire afternoon over whether he should send a message, Crowley’s phone pings from across the kitchen and he dives for it, nearly toppling his glass of wine as he does so.

Angel1941: Well, hello there! Perhaps I can hear about Frances in real-time updates. :)

Crowley sags against the counter and clutches his phone to his chest, smiling hard enough to hurt his face.

Angel - Aziraphale, actually, it turns out, but habits are hard to break - is a brilliant conversationalist, and seems to somehow enjoy Crowley’s pathetic attempts at responding in kind. Crowley doesn’t know why he seems to be so tongue-tied (as it were) when he’s speaking to Aziraphale - he’s a writer, for goodness’ sake - but he’s grateful that Aziraphale doesn’t mind.

As far as he can tell, anyway.

They chat off and on for nearly two months, and Aziraphale comments on every blog post and then gives in-depth reviews to Crowley later, and Crowley is having the time of his life. He gives Aziraphale his number and they switch from Tinder to texting.

Aziraphale starts calling him ‘dear.’ (He nearly chokes to death on his coffee the first time.)

He learns that Aziraphale works at the local library, that he loves sushi and hates hot dogs, that he goes to St. James’s every weekend to feed the ducks (frozen peas and things like that, of course, because bread is bad for them. Did you know that? Crowley hadn’t, but had been glad to find out.) and take a stroll, that he wants to go to Paris for the crepes.

(All the way to Paris just for crepes, angel, really?

I’d do a good many things for crepes, dear. You ought to know that by now.)

After two months, Aziraphale sends him a message that nearly sends him into cardiac arrest.

Angel: I’ve got something I’ve been meaning to say.

Crowley physically winces and sets about trying to brace himself for something like ‘you’re fun to talk to, but I’ve had about all I can’ or ‘I’ve had enough of you and your nonsense’ or ‘this was all a cruel joke and I’ve never actually cared about you.’ (He may be, possibly, a little dramatic.)

Crowley: ask away

Crowley tosses his phone onto the couch and paces his flat restlessly. He really, really, really doesn’t want to stop talking to Aziraphale. He’s gotten more than a little attached, and he doesn’t - he can’t -

His phone buzzes and he lunges for it.

Angel: Very well.

Crowley, it has been an absolute joy texting with you, but

Crowley’s heart sinks. He hasn’t opened the message. He doesn’t really want to. He looks at his lock screen until it goes black, and then he finds that he wants to know. (Needs to know, even.)

Angel: Very well.

Crowley, it has been an absolute joy texting with you, but I must confess that I’d dearly love to see your face and speak with you in person.

Would you consider joining me for dinner sometime this week? If you’re free, of course.

I’d very much like to take you to the Ritz, if you’d be amenable.

Crowley laughs. He laughs and jumps up and down like an excited toddler and clutches his phone to his chest and holds it at arms’ length and chucks it at the couch again.

“Yes!” he cries to his empty apartment, “yes!”

After he’s celebrated enough, he picks up his phone again.

Crowley: I’d be amenable.

Angel: Oh, good! Shall we say Sunday? 9 pm?

Crowley: It’s a date.

#ineffable husbands au week #aziraphale #crowley #have I mentioned that I love them #because I do #blogger au #blogging #online dating #tinder #I have no idea how any of these things work #I don't know what I'm doing

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sunshinejs · 5 years ago

Text

Forever Yours, Faithfully

this is the wedding blurb to ‘All My Love is Yours’

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Word Count: 2.0k -ish

“How are you feeling?”

You glanced at Alessia through the mirror, noticing her eyes were focused on you.

“Like I’m about to throw up if we’re being honest” You told her, laughing a little as you stared down at your wedding gown “I’m really nervous”

“I’m not having second thoughts about marrying him” You reassured them right before Liv could say anything “I’ve never been more certain of being with Connor, and that’s never going to change… But the thought of finally becoming someone’s wife, being called Mrs. from now on… It’s just making me a bit nervous”

“And we get that” Liv said understandingly “It’s okay to feel nervous about opening a new chapter in your relationship with Connor as husband and wife, honey. I’m sure there are people who have the same feeling before walking down the alter”

“It’s a big step in your life and you’re just processing that” Alessia added “But this is you and Connor, we’re talking about, y/n. If there’s any couple who’s prepared to go through the ups and downs of life together, that’s you two” She said with a smile “You two are endgame, remember?”

“Yeah, that’s one thing I’m very sure of” You said confidentially as you turned around to face them “That pep talk kind of toned down the nerve a bit, so thanks you guys”

“We’re your maid of honors!” Liv exclaimed “This is part of the job, honey. Don’t need to thank us for anything”

There was a soft knock on the door before Shawn walked in “Hi” He greeted with a smile “y/n, you look absolutely stunning”

“Thank you, S” You mirrored his smile “How is he?”

“Not going to lie; he’s pretty nervous” Shawn chuckled “I’m guessing you were too? Since you and Connor are always in sync” He said teasingly.

“She was” Alessia nodded “But we’ve talked her down”

“Good because everyone’s settled in and your father is waiting for you by the aisle” Shawn said “Whenever you’re ready, honey”

You took a deep breath and straighten out your dress as Liv and Alessia went to get their bouquet of flowers.

You turned to your maid of honors, giving them a huge smile “How do I look?”

“Like you’re ready to become a wife” Liv answered “Now let’s go get you married, babe”

When your father caught a sight of you, his eyes start to water “Oh, honey…” He gushed “You look absolutely beautiful”

“Daddy, no” You warned softly. You could already feel the tears in your eyes just by looking at him “Don’t make me cry right now”

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry” He chuckled, rubbing the tears from his eyes “It’s just that my little girl is all grown up now… It’s just surreal to think I’m giving you away today when it felt like yesterday that you started middle school”

“Daddy, I’m always going to be your little girl” You confirmed “Whether I’m someone’s wife or someone’s mom. I’m your little girl, always”

“Okay please cut it out before Liv bawls her eyes out right before the wedding starts” Alessia spoke up, making the three of you laugh as Liv smacked her shoulder playfully.

The music from inside the church starts to play and you nodded your head to your maid of honors as a go. Liv, being the front girl in line, pushed the door open and slowly walked down the aisle, followed by Alessia.

Your father offered his arm out to you and you looped your arm through his “Ready, princess?”

“Never been more sure in my life”

As you and your father walked down the aisle, everyone stood up; admiring you. You smiled at the guest as you past by them and then you looked ahead to where Connor stood.

When Connor glanced at you, he felt like his breathe was taken away. For months, he’s been anticipating how you’d look like dressed in white for the big day and it’s all he’s ever imagined and even better.

The wedding gown fit you beautifully, your make up was done perfectly and your hair was tied up in a bun neatly.

Before this, Connor was convinced that you could never looked more beautiful than you already were. But right now, as he’s waiting for you to approach him at the alter and dressed like that; he was wrong.

He felt the tears start to form in his eyes once you two locked gazes. Giving you a big smile, he offered his hand out to you when you were close to reach.

“I trust you to take good care of her, Connor” Your father told him as he watched you accepted Connor’s hand and unloop your arm from his.

“I always do, sir” He said reassuringly.

“No” Your father shook, with an assuring smile “No more of that, son. It’s dad from now on”

Connor nodded “Dad”

Your father then went to his designated seat with the rest of your family.

“You look absolutely breathtaking, baby” Connor whispered to you.

“And you look incredibly handsome, bubs” You smiled at him.

“Please be seated” The priest announced to everyone as you and Connor stood before each other, interlocking your hands together “We are gathered here today to celebrate love. The love between two individual who have been lucky enough to have found each other. Connor Brashier and y/n y/l/n, we are here to celebrate your love, your happiness and most importantly; the relationship and bond that you two have. Shall we do the vows now?”

Connor nodded, clearing his throat as he looked into your eyes “If you told me 9 years ago when we first met that I would be standing here with you today, about to open the next chapter of our lives together, I probably wouldn’t believe you” He said, making you and everyone else chuckle “I’d never thought that I’d be lucky enough to fall in love with such an incredible and kind hearted person like you. Everyday you make me want to be a better person; to our families, to our friends, and most important to you” He took a deep breathe shakily as he continued “You are my everything, y/n and I don’t want to love if it’s not with you. I want to wake up with you every day, have kids together and grow old together. In sickness and in health, through the good days and the bad ones, I promise to be by your side; to love you, care for you and be the best husband for you. Forever and always, that is my promise to you”

By the time he was done, the tears were falling down yours and Connor’s cheeks. You sniffled lightly, wiping the tears from your eyes.

“And y/n?”

“Connor, I’ve never met a more amazing man than you” You begin, feeling your voice was already cracking “Someone who goes the extra mile to care for his loved ones, someone who puts in 200% effort in all his work and someone who never wants people to worry about him. You are the only person I want to spend forever with. I want to take care of you and worry for you, discover new things together and take on any challenge life has to offer. Because everything will be okay in the end as long as I know that I have you; my best friend, my partner, my lover. I want to have your kids, figure out the whole parenting thing together and grow old with each other. No matter how happy the moments are or how bad the arguments get, I promise to be your one and only always. The one who loves you the most, the one you can share your secrets with and the one who would go the extra mile for you. I, y/n y/ln, vow to be faithfully yours, always”

“Can we have the rings, please?” The priest asked.

Alessia handed you Connor’s ring while Brian handed Connor your ring. Connor took a hold of your hand again and shakily slipped the ring on your finger then you did the same.

“Connor, do you take y/n to be your wife?”

“I do” He said firmly.

“And y/n, do you take Connor to be your husband?”

You nodded in confirmation “I do”

The priest smile, continuing “Then I now pronounce you as husband and wife. Mr. Brashier, you may now kiss the bride”

Connor let out a happy sob, leaning down as he pressed his lips against yours. Everyone around begin to cheer for you as you wrapped your arms around his neck, kissing him deeply.

Once you two pulled away, Connor rests his forehead against yours “I love you Mrs. Brashier”

You bite your lower lip, smiling at him “I love you more, Mr. Brashier”

xxx

“Being the host of a reception sure is exhausting” Connor chuckled as you and him returned to your seats.

“Tell me about it” You giggled, picking up your glass of wine “A little more to go, bubs, then we’ll head back to the hotel”

He smirked, resting his hand on your thigh; over your dress “Then we can have our own fun, Mrs. Brashier. That’s when the real fun begins”

You giggled, shaking your head “Whatever you say, bubs”

“Test… Test…” You heard over the speakers, followed by quick taps over the microphone. You looked up and found Shawn standing on the stage with his guitar strapped over his shoulder.

“Hi everyone!” Shawn greeted the crowd “My name is Shawn and I’m friends with both the bride and groom. I just wanted to say a couple of things about the couple of the night before we move on to their first dance as husband and wife”

“I met Connor a few years back and we were working together while on tour” Shawn spoke in the mic “At that time, him and y/n were already together and let me tell you this; Connor never shuts up about her”

The crowd begins to laugh as Connor’s cheeks turned red. You giggle, leaning in close and rest your head on his shoulder.

“Basically, when it’s not about the documentary we were working on, Connor would just subconsciously talk about y/n most of the time” He chuckled “There’s nothing wrong about that, to be honest. We teased him about him constantly but we thought it was sweet how he’s got a girl back home that he really loves. When we finally met y/n, I knew why Connor was so head over heels for her. She is literally the perfect woman for him and they completed each other, for sure. Until today, I’ve never met a couple more right for each other than Connor and y/n” He said, which made the crowd awed.

“Connor and y/n, I wish you two nothing but happiness in this new chapter that you’ll be starting together” Shawn looked over his best friends with a smile “I am so happy see my two best friends finally getting what they deserve. I love you both with all my heart and this song goes to you”

As the band plays the beginning of ‘Faithfully’, Connor stood up and offered his hand to you. You took his hand, letting him pull you off your seat and guided you to the dance floor where everyone has cleared out for you two.

Connor’s hands circled your waist as you wrapped your arms around his neck. He begins to sway you lightly to the beat, with Shawn’s singing in the background.

“I can’t believe we did it” You sigh happily, looking into his eyes “We’re finally married, bubs”

“It feels like a dream to me” Connor said, smiling down at you “The most perfect girl in the world is mine and that alone, feels unbelievable to me”

“Well you’re pretty perfect yourself, Brashier” You giggled “My perfect husband”

“Now, that is something I don’t mind hearing for the rest of my life” He twirled you around then pulled you close to him again “Being called your husband”

“I’ll be calling you my husband for as long as I live, bubs” You grinned “Because I’m forever yours, faithfully”

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reblog, like or leave a comment; always appreciated!

x rina

TAG LIST:

@hurts-like-hell-xx @connordavidscamera @r3ader @tinycertain @green-lxght @queenmxndes

#connor brashier #connor brashier imagines

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