#the rat on his shoulder awww

[starlight-write]

Grumpy Cat

Requests: Open!

Summary: Angel enjoys messing with his boyfriend a little to much, which leads to an interesting discovery.

Pairings: Ler!Angeldust, Lee!Husk (Romantic)

Warnings: Tickling, Swearing, Nifty being weird

Word Count: 2495

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It was rare to spot the old cat anywhere in the hotel besides the bar, which had become a sort of safe haven for the old grouch that he almost never let anyone else into cause that's his spot goddamnit.

Besides a certain spider, of course. But that's besides the point.

Today was one of those days it seemed as Husker took his opportunity while the main floor was empty to claim a spot on the couch.

Seeing as no one was around, the cat allowed himself to give in to his animal instincts and circled the spot a few times before curling up in a ball and letting himself drift away into a much deserved catnap.

The bartender couldn't have been asleep for more than an hour before he was woken up by faint whispers and giggling right above his head, followed by the tickly sensation of something touching the inside of his ear.

"Be quiet. I want to see how far I can shove this thing in this hole."

"Oh! Oh! We should shove my needle in there next!"

Husk snapped his head up to see Angeldust and Nifty smiling innocently down at him. He noticed his punk ass boyfriend was holding one of his red feathers in his hand.

Husker quickly shook himself off and got up to face the two instigators.

"Alright, alright. You two had your fun, now scram! There are plenty of other assholes in this building to bother if you're that bored." He said, hands making a shoo-ing motion towards the pair.

"But we didn't even get to dissect you yet!" Nifty whined and held her oversized needle up in the air.

"Hey, I think I heard a couple rats in the vents. Go find those and dissect them instead, you freak." Husk pointed.

The girl laughed maniacally and she scurried out of the room.

Husk shivered a bit.

"God that thing freaks me out."

Angeldust fiddled with the feather in his hands. "Eh. The brats actually pretty fun to be around when she's toned down the psycho a bit."

The man noticed the feather once again and pointed an accusatory finger at his boyfriend. "And just where do you get off shoving things into people's ears."

"You really want me to answer that?" He smirked.

Husk just groaned and fell face-down back onto the couch. Still a bit groggy from his nap and annoyed at his boyfriend's antics.

The cat sprawled out over the length of the couch as he repositioned himself, allowing his wings full range to reach up and hide his face away from the other.

"Whatever, go find your little friend a make a porno with the rats or whatever it is you like to do for fun. Just leave me out of it."

"Awww what's wrong? Monday blues got you down, Whiskers?" Angel cooed sweetly before making his way over to the side of the couch where he proceeded to climb on top of the grumpy cats back.

"Off."

"What? I'm putting the feather back right where I found it." Angel teased and began playing with his boyfriends wings.

Husk couldn't stop his wings from twitching a bit under the sporadic touches. Just as he was about to use one to swipe his boyfriend off of the couch, the spider reached up and began carefully massaging the cats shoulders.

Dammit. The cat thought as his entire body instantly turned too putty under his boyfriend's hands. That bastard knew how much this affected him, it's not fair.

The cat grumbled a bit longer but gladly accepted his fate and relaxed into the touch. His body relaxing completely as he began to purr.

Angel laughed softly at the adorable sight. Figured this was a good way to apologize for interrupting the cat's nap.

"See, I'm not all that bad.~"

Husker gave a small hum in response before nuzzling his face in his arms. Stress melting away and Husk found himself drifting off to sleep not even a few minutes later.

The other just smiled softly and enjoyed the feeling of Husk's soft fur running through his fingers.

"Yeah, your grouchy ass definitely needed this." The demon said before leaning give the cat a quick kiss.

A couple more minutes passed. Angel's fingers continued slowly down the other's back tracing lines and shaped before he eventually reached the space near the base of the cat's wings.

The spider didn't even register that his fingers had accidentally brushed against the wings' base until the cat jolted violently as if he had been shocked, followed by a loud yelp.

Husk stiffened. He immediately tried to get out from under his boyfriend while reaching back to push the other's hand.

"A-Alright. That's enough. L-Let me up."

Angel froze, worried he'd somehow hurt him, but proceeded to do the opposite of what his partner asked and instead pushed him back down on the couch.

"Sorry, did I hurt ya?" He asked as he began feeling around the spot for any damage. "Was it just a really sore spot I hit or something else?"

He continued to gently brush around the wings while barely grazing his fingers, worried to cause any more pain. Only more concerning that the other wasn't answering him.

Angel looked up and saw that his boyfriend's shoulders were shaking and both hands covered his mouth with his face buried deep into the cushion.

It took longer than Angel would like to admit for him to finally put the pieces together, the demon smiled widely at the realization.

"Ooooooh. That's what that was?~" The spider leaned forward to whisper in the cat's ear. Pressing down a bit harder to pin the other even more. "Husker~ Don't tell me you're ticklish~"

Time to go. The cat thought as he scrambled and fought to get away from the menace on top of him. That tone itself was enough to tell him his boyfriend's little mood had returned with a vengeance.

The spider laughed and sprouted his two extra sets of arms to help him pin the other in place.

"Dammit!- Let me go! Hrgh!- Get offa me-" Husk squirmed viciously, twisting beneath the other and fighting for any chance to escape. He hissed as his wrists were caught and pinned firmly above his head, the other pairs holding down his wings and hips.

The demon chuckled and Husk could practically hear that shit-eating grin he no doubt has on his stupid face- that fucker.

"Awww you're so cute, trying to get away from me~" The cat snarled as the demon leaned over to whisper in his ear again. "What's wrong, Whiskers? Surely a tough guy like you can't be that sensitive~"

A finger trailed along the top of his wing causing the bartender's whole body to jolt again.

"D-D-Don-Don't you fu-fucking dare."

"Aw what's gottcha so nervous, Husky?~ Am I ruffling your feathers too much?~" Angel teased, using both hands to stroke along the length of the wings.

Husk's face was on fire at this point. The other's teasing was just too much.

He thought he would get used to the other's constant flirting and teasing remarks the other flung at him every single day. But even then, it never failed to make the bartender's face heat up, granted he would never admit it to anyone. For once, being thankful for the fur covering his face.

That, along with the awfully light strokes on his wings was enough for the poor cat to completely shut down. Too flustered to get a single word out.

The cat buried his face in the couch once again as his body shook with repressed laughter.

Angel smiled and began wiggling his fingers as he ran up and down the length of the wings. Husk let out a frustrated growl, trying desperately to block out the horrible tickly feeling. A few grunts managing to escape as the cat tried to bury his face even further into the cushion.

The wings twitched violently under the touch causing the next pair of hands reach up and hold them in place as well.

"Jesus, Husker, is it that bad?" He laughed. "I have have never seen you this worked up before! Gotta say, I'm a little hurt that you've hid this from me for so long~"

The hands were drawing closer and closer to the demon's back and he was having a much harder time forcing down his laughter.

"You ignoring me? I can tell you're smiling, Husker~ You must be enjoying this!"

A high-pitched whine escaped from the cat demon's throat at hearing his sadistic excuse for a partner. He shook his head rapidly and kicked his legs as he tried to distract himself from the butterflies swarming in his stomach.

The hands made their way to the tips of each wing and stayed there for a good second. Husker took this chance to breath and regain some of his composure. Unaware that he'd just confirmed his parter's suspicions.

"You're so cute." Angel smiled. "Do your wings become less sensitive the farther out they go?" He asked, experimentally scribbling the very ends of the appendages.

Husk froze. It's fucking Angel, of course he'd be the one to figure it out. God, Husk hated how perceptive he was when it came to finding new ways to fuck with him. Husker knew he was screwed no matter what he said. He huffed and turned around to look at his tormentor.

He honestly couldn't believe that bastard had the audacity to smile down at him, just as innocent as earlier, as if he wasn't torturing him to death just for the fun of it.

"Oh, fuck you." Husk spat. Not that it mattered, he knew his boyfriend was about to kill him either way.

Although he'd be lying if he said that seeing the other's face morph from faux innocence so downright sinister didn't send a chill down his spine.

"What was that?~" Angel smiled. Hands moved once again across the wing's length only much, much slower than before.

"I-I sai- I-ugh!-" Dammit. Husk cursed his voice for stuttering and began to yank and twist his wrists again more out of embarrassment than thinking he was actually going to get away from this monster on top of him.

"Oh no. You were so bold just a second ago, why not say it again before I make you regret it.~" Fingers still trailing slowly as he tightened his grip around the other's wrists.

"Yo-Yohohou ahaha b-b-bahahahhahaha-" A steady stream of giggles finally escaped from his throat, the demon being to flustered to even try to suppress any of it at this point. The cat twisted and turned violently in a fit of frustration and embarrassment.

"Yeah, that's what I thought." Angel chuckled, finally reaching the base of the cat's wings, fingers barely touching the feathers while still making their presence known. "You never answered my question though, does it tickle more the further down I go? I sure hope not. If that's the case, I don't know how you're gonna handle this~" Angel exclaimed as he finally went in for the kill. Using all four of his hands to torment the base and lower section of the winds.

Husk screamed silently at the sensation, before actually screaming as his struggling increase tenfold.

"aaAAAAAAHHH!!! AHAHAHAH- STA-STAHAHAHAAA- FAHAHA-"

Poor Husker was thrown into screaming hysterics almost immediately, that spot was terrible enough by itself, never mind having four hands completely focusing on wrecking him there!

Why the fuck did Angel need to have three pairs of arms??? This isn't fair!!

The poor demon didn't last long, his body soon went completely limp as he resigned himself to his fate, not having anymore energy to resist the overly intense feeling. His voice went silent for a moment as well when his body forced him to take a break from the near constant laughing/screaming.

Suddenly, the tickling stopped and all six hands released their grip on the poor demon.

Husker gasped deeply and collapsed, pulling his arms protectively over his sides now that his wrists were free.

Angel was still on top of him however, only now gently stroking the cat's head.

And that bastard is still laughing.

"Hey, hey. It's okay. You're alright. Breathe."

Husker did just that, gulping in as much air as he could. The mortification of what just happened setting in as more oxygen found its way to his head.

Angel chuckled almost nervously and began sweetly massaging the cat's shoulder blades again.

"Heh. You still alive? You scared me for a second there, got quiet and stopped moving all of a sudden. I almost thought I killed ya." He gave another nervous chuckle.

"Fu-Fuhuhuck y-you, bihihitch." The bartender managed to get out. Still not moving a muscle and recovering from the attack.

"Ah, yeah. I went a little overboard, I'm sorry. You're just so cute, and I've never been able to get a reaction like that out of you before. I really couldn't help myself. Especially when I got you to smile like that- I was- AAH!!"

Husk promptly cut off his boyfriend's rambling by bucking hard enough to finally throw him off the couch.

The demon grunted as hell fell to the floor. Looking back up at his partner who had curled himself into a ball, wings held tightly against him as he regained his composure.

"I am actually gonna kill you for that one." He huffed out.

Angel stood, brushing himself off and nervously ran his finger through his hair.

"Yeah...I kind of deserve it for that one." He laughed and sat back down next to the cat. "Seriously though, you ok?"

"Yeah, yeah I'm fine." He mumbled, his signature grouch finding its way back onto his face. To which Angel reached up and scratched under the cat's chin.

"What are y- eh whatever." God, he hated being a cat. Being forced to enjoy this sort of shit.

Angel laughed. "You still love me?"

Husk cut his eyes over at his pain-in-the-ass boyfriend and huffed.

"Unfortunately."

The other smiled and cupped the cat's face while kissing his forehead.

Angel pulled back, still holding the other's face. Suddenly he got the idea to test out another suspicion of his.

"I could tell you liked it though." The spider said.

The cat stuttered a bit and jerked his head out of the other's grip.

"You are downright impossible! What makes you think I'd enjoy that type of childishness even a little bit?!"

Angel pressed his palms together and smirked at the other.

"Oh, y'know one sign could be how warm your face just got."

Husk froze with his mouth wide open at the sheer amount of audacity-

"That's it!-" He declared as he shot up off the couch and lunged at his boyfriend who was now running for his life, laughing the entire way.

Husk hated when he was right, and now he's gonna kill him for it.

[mintiicinnamonii]

Hello! I saw that requests are open and I wanted to ask for a GN! Reader that has fangs and can turn into a snake (both a small one and a GIGANTIC ONEE (if you remember that big snake in episode 1 season 4 then atleast that big of a size)) and I want to see how Wukong, Mk, Macaque, Mei and Redson react their SO/partner being a little snake! It's alright if you don't do this request if you do thank you and have a fantastic day! (Or whatever timezone you're in rn)

notes: HOW DARE YOU HIT ME WITH THE S5 CARD- but i had fun with this one!

I’m Obssssessed With You

Macaque

hes pretty chill abt it

”oh theyre a hot snake hybrid nice”

but when you become baby snake, hes ready to tease you

poking your little face, treating you like a grumpy cat essentially

but then you hiss at him and hes like 😦

MORE TEASSINGGG!!!

you’re his little snake baby 100%

you get scary dog privileges! thanks macaque!!

sometimes you become a snake and just sit on his shoulder, and hes just used to it at this point

you two TOTALLY prank people by pretending you’re a real snake

Wukong

he makes 15000000 snake puns and you want to bite him

he sees you and is like “m-mommy??/d-daddy??”

he coddles you like a baby, definitely says “awww” and just hugs you >_<

cuddle sessions are just both of you making little animal sounds and curled up against each other

gives you lil pets and scritches

one time he caught you eating a rat and he was like “🫢”

you and the monkeys chill on the trees together (IKIK “mintii”mintii stop mentioning the monkeys whenever theres a wukong x reader” SHUT UP THEYRE CUTE)

MK

whenever you’re cold, he PANICS

hes like “OMGOMGOMG WHERES A BLANKET AAA”

failwife mk nation!!!

he doesnt know much about snakes but hey at least you aint a spider

his heart melts whenever you’re just curled up on his shoulder

he sometimes asks you random snake questions (ex: can you use heat vision like a real snake??)

Red Son

“hmmm interesting”

he expirements on you (w/ your consent, he mainly just observes and asks random more educated questions)

before you guys start dating, he definitely uses expirementing on you as an excuse to hang out with you

when you’re cold, he warms u up with his fire demon energy :3 (i hc that hes always warm)

when you become little snake climb on his shoulder hes just like “eh”

but when you become big snake and protect him??

“😳” - red son whenever you fight

always hot x always cold <33

possible ice and fire dynamic??

she will research about snakes to maximize your comfort like the secretly caring partner they are

rahhh i love her

Mei

POWER COUPLE!!

serpent couple goals

she has a pic of you in snake form sleeping on her phone

you and her play/tease together (i.e she reaches her finger into your mouth and pulls it away as you shut your mouth)

BABY TALK!!!

i dont have many ideas for this one im sorry 😞

[ayeyolooo]

sharing a bed with them!

GOJO!

(gojo, inumaki, geto, yuji, choso.)

GOJO!

“Satoru MOVE!” you said nudging him in his bareback with your elbow. he winced. “Owww y/n you move!” he sucked his teeth and pushed you closer to the edge of the bed. “if you push me off i promise you you coming down with me.” you said sitting up and placing on your bonnet. “ouuu do you have another?” he pointed at your pink bonnet. “no..” you side eyed him, you seen his pout which caused you to roll your eyes and walk to your dresser. you grabbed a blue bonnet and threw it at his face. “AYEEEE PERFECT THANK YOU Y/nn!!” he said doing a dance before placing it on his head. satoru was spending the night at your house because he was your childhood bestfriend and this was something that the both of you did daily. spend the night to eachothers house every friday, go home on sunday.

“listen, do not kick me. don’t put your big feet in my back, do not snore in my ear—.” saturo cut you off. “—y/n your mouth is moving like a rat.. i don’t care what you’re saying because you can’t kick me out of your room.” he said clasping his hand over your mouth and rolling his eyes. “OUCH!” he retracted his finger back as fast as a retractable lanyard. you had just bit him and he just looked at you like you were crazy. “okay run me my rounds right now l/n.” gojo said standing up on your bed having his thin silver chain dangle in the air. “boy sit down before i go tell my momma n she whoop you.” you chuckled. “or what?” he lightly slapped your cheek in a joking manner. he’s joking guys

“oh no you didn’t.” you said eying him. “and did whatchu gone do about it?” he said slicking his thumbs in his ears and wiggling his fingers with his tongue out. “bet.” you replied standing up having gojo scream like a girl and run around your room. “WAIT Y/n WE COULD TALK SBOUT YHIS!!” he laughed. “NO!” you hopped over the bed and grabbed a pillow before jumping on him and attacking him with the pillow. ‘birds of a feather’ by billie elish was playing in the background as the room filled with your giggles and gojo’s warm laugh. your mom busted through the door with a black belt in her hand. mind yall you are almost adults (18 and 19) “why are yall in here making so much noise?” she played with her robe and looked at the both of you for answers. “well?” she asked tapping her foot and placing her hands on her shoulders. “i don’t wanna hear another sound from this room.” she said walking out of the room. both you and gojo looked at eachother and tried to hold your laughs in. by “alright let’s go to sleep sat.” you chuckled and fixed the bed, gojo . you laid on your side, gojo on his side. you turned out all of the lights having it be pitch black dark. you felt gojo’s long foot touch yours. “move biggie.” you said pushing his foot away with yours. “you should be the last one calling someone biggie ms. disco ball.” he said by placing his foot right back where it was. you just laughed and rolled your eyes, you shifted and turned to saturo who was just starring out of the window. “we have to say our prayers.” you whispered having him perk up. “i thought you’d never ask.” he smiled gently before grabbing your hand and started praying over the both of your sleep. “goodnight y/n.” gojo kissed the top of your forhead. “goodnight frosted flake.” you kissed his cheek and turned around to your side of the bed. before you know it the both of you were knocked out sleep.

awww she called him frosted flake😭😭🫶🏾. i hope you enjoyed!! jesus loves you :)

[starry-nights12]

Bless This Mess (Chapter Preview)

Family AU inspired by @redrum-alice 💖

Thanks @a-hams-art for the help❤

✼　 ҉ ✼　 ҉ ✼　 ҉

The bell chimes on the door clashed together as a little girl bursted through the door, shoving patrons out of her way as she ran for the bar.

"Move!" She demanded, elbowing another patron out of the way.

"Hide me!" She exclaimed as she slid under the bar and ducked behind the counter.

"Hey," Vi looked down at her. "What the hell did you do?"

"Nothing!"

"Bullshit. I know you did some-"

The bell chimesd again,only the chatter of the bar died the moment an Enforcer walked in.

The Enforcer looked at the old family potrait of Vi with her brothers,sister and Vander hanging behind her.

"I take it you're the owner of this establishment?" The Enforcer asked.

Vi scowled at her niece who shrugged and grinned sheepishly. "Yeah," Vi slung the dish rag over her shoulder then crossed her arms. "What seems to be the problem?"

The Enforcer looked around at the plants and unfastened his mask. "Is that child who ran in here yours?"

Ekko and Jinx glanced at each other and then narrowed their eyes at him.

"What do you want with her?" Ekko asked.

"She disrespected an Enforcer,"

Jinx rolled her eyes. "Okay,disrespectful how? Did she call you a stinky,booger brain and baby got mad?"

Heaven covered her hand over with mouth to conceal her giggling.

The Enforcer rolled his eyes. "I would not be here if she just did that. Your child was with a group of other children when she threw a rock at me while yelling, "Fuck you, shit face", and then made a run for it."

Ekko chuckled then shook his head. "Sounds about right," he said with a fond smile.

"Ha!" 

When the man glared at her, she pouted and tilted her head in mock sympathy. "Awww. Now, did our little six year old hurt your feelings?" Jinx cooed.

Ekko snickered then bounced his wife on his knee. "I knew those big guns had to compensate for something."

The on-lookers and the couples laughter made the officer look at the parents incredulously.  "Is this how you're raising your child?" He asked, scandalized. "This is a disgrace!"

"Oh my Gods, Cherub," Jinx placed a hand over her chest as if she was offended enough to faint.  "You hear that? You disgraced us."

"Listen,man,she's really nice. She's a sweet kid overall." Vi said.

"She is," Ekko agreed. "Just not to you," As the Enforcer stared at him, he shrugged and took a swig of his drink.

"You better keep a closer eye on that kid, someone else will be less tolerant of her antics."

"How about you don't worry about our parenting and keep a close eye on one of your own." Ekko retorted.

"Damn, you're on a roll today, Little man!" She lightly smacked his chest and grinned proudly. Ekko smirked around his glass and chuckled softly.

"Watch your kid." He reptedly sternly,pointing at both of them.

"Yeah,whatever," Jinx waved him off and sipped her soda from her cup.

Out of the corner of their eye, Ekko and Jinx watched as the Enforcer left the bar. "Coast is clear,child," Jinx hit the counter.

Heaven popped up and pushed her goggles back to reveal her pink and brown eyes. "Man, that guy is sooooo shitty."

"He sure is,Firecracker," Ekko pushed her hood back and patted her head.

"Thanks for covering me," Heaven smiled. "I had to stop myself from laughing 'cause you guys are funny," she giggled.

Jinx gingerly held her chin and sweetly smiled,"Child,you can throw a grenade at them and we still wouldn't rat you out."

"You know,you could have hid in your room." Vi told her.

"No, 'cause they be expecting that!" Heaven said.

Jinx scoffed as if the answer was obvious, "Yeah,Vi,duh," she grinned playfully while stroking one of her blue braided pigtails.

"Well,slugger,you got a lot to learn." She ruffled her hair. "Now get from behind here," she gently pushed her away.

Heaven chuckled then ducked from the counter. "Auntie Vi!"

"Yeah?"

"When I said I didn't do anything..." She held hands behind her back and rocked on her heels. "I did."

Vi gasped loudly. "What? Really?!"

Heaven giggled and nodded. She yelped when Vi hit her with the rag. "Heeeeey!" Heaven rubbed the top of her head.

"Stop being a shit starter." Her aunt said with affection laced in her tone.

"Thanks for the show, Heaven!" A patron shouted.

"You're welcome!" She stuck her tounge out and threw two rock and roll signs. The patrons laughed and cheer,raising their beer mugs to her.

[slashers-and-rats]

awww no! I hope you feel better soon. You must be dying of boredom. If it’s something you’d want to write about, what about 2006!billy lenz kissing head canons?

rat chat: I’m feeling better now that I’m thinking about that bulky man kissing me. he’s a hunky boy (if you ignore the jaundice)

Billy Lenz Kissing GN!Reader (softcore!nsfw)

we’ve all seen him, we all know him, so there’s some obvious points. for one, he’s sloppy. a lot of his kissing is drags of his tongue over your lips, and him shoving it into your mouth so he can feel all of your teeth. if he had it his way, he’d memorize out each and every detail, and take as much time doing so as possible. he likes feeling when your drool is mixing together, since it feels a bit like you two are blending in some way. he wants it to be messy, and to taste you, and to feel you with his mouth.

secondly, he’s a biter. it’s not as pronounced as his need to lick, but it’s there. when he pulls away to breathe, and is panting through his nose, he bites down on your lip and takes it with him. it’s another way for him to latch onto you. he refuses to be apart, even for a moment. he’ll usually bite down on your bigger lip, liking the plush in between his teeth, but if you manage to get away, he’s going for whatever else he can bite while still staying close to your face. jaw, neck, cheeks even- he doesn’t care.

hes also quite vocal, of course. billy won’t pull away to speak, though. he’ll mumble it all against your lips, and make sure you feel each and every syllable his tongue shapes. at first, when you two have just started kissing and he’s overwhelmed and excited, he’s spitting out vile things. “s-slut- slut wants my tongue! suck it, suck my spit off my tongue. kiss- kiss my dick too, bitch. kiss it, kiss it, c’mon- KISS IT!” it’ll be that high, almost whiny voice of his, and it’ll sputter out rushed and messy. but once you two have settled into a rhythm, and he’s pressed close to you, he’s much calmer. “so soft… soft lips… i love your lips… more? m-more, please? you taste… sweet…” it’s raspy and low now, soft and content.

he likes when he makes you hold onto him. he likes feeling your hands dripping his broad shoulders, and your fingers running down to grasp his arms. he wants you clinging to him, even when you’re just making out. he likes it when he catches you off guard, and manages to pin you to something, so that you feel boxed in and small. it might not be the truth, but he likes feeling like the bigger person. he likes when he’s pressed in between your legs, and you’re pressed tight to his chest, and you’re trembling against him with swollen lips. he likes pulling away, with only a string of drool connecting you both, and seeing you flustered and embarrassed. he likes when you feel vulnerable, because that’s how he feels. and he wants to see you in that same state.

he’s always proud of himself after too. you two will have been making out on the couch, and you two will have settled and finished, and he excuses himself awkwardly to the washroom. and he runs there, just so he can look in the mirror. it’s the first time he likes his reflection. he’ll see his hair messy from your hands, and he’ll see his cheeks all red, and his neck with new marks, and his lips puffy and sensitive. his shirt is unbuttoned a bit further than usual, and he looks like a classic hot mess. but it feels good, because it’s your fault he looks like this. it’ll make him feel giddy, and he’ll dance in the mirror and even, maybe, jerk off to how nice your lips felt, but it’s mostly just him feeling so happy to kiss you.

[autumn-foxfire]

IT'S FOR THE SECOND BEST KAISHIN MOVIE! That's right, it's time for me to watch the Lost Ship in the Sky!!

This movie has everything, gay people, terrorists, gay people, a goat and gay people.

Oooh, I didn't know that their was no cure for the bacteria. I was not paying close attention last watch, probably because I was distracted by the gay people.

Actually interesting question: would the effect the bacteria has on a child's body be the same for Shinichi and Ai? We're still not really sure if they've reverted in age or just shrunk. Shinichi get infected and be Ai's lab rat.

Heiji is being such a little shit to Shinichi, teasing him about his small problem.

Awww, Heiji is such a good friend T-T He's always treating Shinichi to restaurants when he's in Osaka. Shinichi you need to return that from time to time, instead of being annoyed when your best friend comes for a visit.

And Kaito is such a gentleman XD "I will be on board but don't worry I won't steal anything until we're near Osaka so don't spend the trip a fretting mess."

Awww Ran, Sonoko and Agasa was about to throw hands with the man trying to scare the children. As they should.

...Okay. The story with Ran mistaking the blimp for a UFO when she was a child is cute but why did they writers have to twist it into her being an "appealing" girl? What? It makes no sense T-T

Oh thank god, yes KID plot please distract me from this mess. I love that Sonoko is so good with the kids too.

NO AI DON'T BRING IT BACK TO THAT DUMB MOMENT.

Kaito~ He's stalking his husband.

Hmmmm, I'm not sure I like how the lady sky is displayed, it deserves better metal casing.

Genta being the devil on Kogoro's shoulders XD Can it punch Kogoro again? He deserves it.

Sonoko. I love you. But girl, you should know Ran deserves so much better than Shinichi. I swear they think they like one another due to half the cast insisting they'll be together and not due to their own feelings.

KAITO! And he's wearing glasses. Taking a page out of his husbands book! How fitting he's wearing a bandage that says Shinichi<3Love on it.

Ran shows no sympathy for KID XD

How did Kaito do his hair to look like Shinichi's so fast? Hmmmm, he probably had to prepared for a quick escape thinking about it.

Kaito is actually telling the truth there, he does partially dress us as KID in order to solve his father's murder.

Damn though, Kaito really monopolised on Shinichi's own lie to Ran in order to help himself. I feel bad for Ran. She's so conflicted. I don't blame Kaito though, he's doing what needs to be done, Shinichi is the one who's put her in this situation.

GROSS. Ran kick him please. Not only did this man touch you, he also made comments that made you uncomfortable.

CAN WE NOT DO THIS. Shinichi, if you actually knew Ran, you would KNOW she's not looking at the man in interest but DISTRESS. But no because Sonoko says she's interested that must mean she is so it's time for Shinichi to do his pissing contest to show the man Ran is his property <.< Good movie, has some really bad points. Especially near the end which is one of the reasons I said Kaito deserves to be hit.

Ran getting to be badass and disabling the threat even at the risk to herself T-T

It's a good thing terrorists don't look up. Oh wait, that's gamers.

It's also good that Lupin is well trained because they would have no hesitation in shooting him and I'd be very upset if that happened.

Kaito's inner thoughts at the moment: Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, Fuck. I did NOT plan for a terrorist attack.

Shinichi is so worried about Genta T-T

Time for spider Shinichi to come out.

And I hope the woman who slapped Ai gets hit 10x harder.

OH IT'S THIS MOMENT.

KAITO SAVE YOUR HUSBAND!

WOOHOO! And thus begins the Shinichi being carried in Kaito's arms adventures!

Oooh the aforementioned mention of motor on the glider! Something we know KID does install in the future, probably due to his husband complaining about not being able to get back to the airship

Kaito landed so elegantly <3 How does one man serve so much cunt.

...Never beating the incest claims. This little kid, a relative of Kazuha, just asked if he could marry her. I know kids are also like that but still.

Awww, it's nice to see Kazuha and Heiji being cute together. I could almost forget the dumpster fire that is the writing of their relationship.

THE GOAT!

HOW SUS TO GO FROM ONE "COUPLE" BEING DOMESTIC WITH ONE ANOTHER TO KAITO AND SHINICHI BEING DOMESTIC.

HE DOES NOT SAY THAT XD He says "Listen Hattori..." Thank you fan dubs for sharing what Shinichi most likely is thinking though!

And we start with another of Shinichi's crazy plans that Kaito just goes along with.

Not without a little complaining at first, can't let his husband now that he has him wrapped around his little finger.

I wonder where they got the uniform from? Either Kaito had it on hand for the presumed plan of disguising as Shinichi as a quick escape or they stole clothes from someone's backyard. I prefer the second one because it's funnier.

I love how Shinichi sticks his hand out as well. We all know Kaito is doing all the work honey.

AND THE BEST SCENE IN THE MOVIE WHERE THESE TWO ARE IDIOTS!

Shinichi touched his dick. Won't be the last time he does that.

OH MY GOD HE ALSO MOANED.

I wrote about Shinichi using Kaito's grappling hook to save them as a prompt drabble forgetting it was actually canon. Well, movie canon.

Oh my god we actually got a proper look at Kaito in the movie too.

Awww, poor Heiji got hung up on. I'm sorry he got distracted by his husband.

This child is smarter than most of the cast.

I love when Shinichi can work with someone at the same intellect as him. The conversations are just so fun, especially when it's with Kaito.

RAN MY SWEET GIRL T-T Movies bring out the best side of Ran, and they don't have to sacrifice her kindess to do it, like what happens in fandom when they try and improve the misogynistic writing of a female character but only making another version of the misogynistic writing.

Shinichi had way too much fun doing this.

This is what I mean when I say Shinichi matches Kaito's freak. The two of them love pulling shit like this against others.

Shinichi showing off his acrobatic skills once more, combined with his skills on a board that would make Tony Hawks gush.

Imagine being a bunch of terrorists (thieves) and when you get arrested you have to confess to the cops you got taken down by a child. The daily life of DC criminals.

I'M DYING FROM THE CUTENESS T-T KAITO COMPLIMENTING SHINICHI AND THEN GIVING HIM HIS "WARRIOR'S MEDAL"

Kazuha and Heiji and that little kid messing with the thieves is so funny T-T

Does Shinichi not realise how hilarious it is that he admits to Ran he was going to potentially infect a man with a dangerous bacteria?

And Shinichi is being tortured with a gun. He and Ai can bond over that.

The second of Shinichi's insane plans. Where he returns the favour and drops a man into the ocean.

And Kaito does the funniest thing in the movie. Just strolls in, leaves everyone but Ran tied up (just because he knows she won't chase him due to what he did earlier), takes the jewel, and leaves. King.

And the consequences of Shinichi's own actions.

Damn Ran, you can't even have Shinichi's back if he was a thief T-T Asking him to turn himself in. Meanwhile Shinichi will make excuse after excuse to let Kaito walk free.

And this isn't okay, even if I do like Kaito. Not only is he trying to kiss Ran with her under the impression of him being someone else (which would be sexual assault), he also tries to sexual assault her by groping her only for her to notice and stop him. She even mentions to Sonoko (in jest because how dare women be actually MAD about this) about how she can still support him like that after he just tried to do that with her. Any other character and this would be given the name it actually is.

How to ruin a perfectly good movie <.< We all ignore the ending as it's gross.

[doctorhouse5343]

Last Christmas (Love In The Lab)

Christmas soon came along in the Endlesstein home and Morpheus was determined to make it the best for his son, who had slowly adjusted to his new life..well, undead life. While it was clear that he would never be the same little boy that he was before the accident, the little ray of sunshine still had the most bright smile that could rival with the stars. While his boyfriend was busy unwrapping gifts with Orpheus, the doctor was stuck waiting outside for his sibling Desire (he didn't want to see them, they nagged until he gave in), who insisted on giving him and Hob gifts because 'It's Christmas, we haven't seen see eachother for a long time and your boyfriend is family so no buts'. He sighed, pulling his scarf close to his chin in apprehension, dreading the potential greeting as he waited. And waited

But it was Des, the sibling that was never on time so it had to be expected. They obviously would come later than the hour they said that they'd show up at (fashionably late they called it, but to Dr. Endlesstein it was more a 'How fast can I annoy my big brother before it gets my legs broken in a basement?' kind of game to them), and by now the wilted wild rose bush looked like a very nice spot to jump in. When his sibling's car finally came into view, the mad man made sure to give the tardy the deadliest glare he ever gave anyone, they have. The bright smile and the elegant way that they walked to him was all that it took to make Morpheus wish to escape; he did no effort to hide it either "Oh sweet Dream, still as mopey as I remembered...Well I guess it's good that love didn't change you all that much, I would have missed that frowny face" Before he could deliver a scalding reply, he felt his cheeks get pinched by elegant fingers, earning a yelp out of him.

"Awww, someone missed me!!" Desire chuckled as they dragged Morpheus in a hug, which he tried to get out of "Not quite, now please unhand me, sibling" The reply got a chuckle out of them as they went on "Despair couldn't make it, too busy making shirts for her rats but she sends her regards" They then gave their brother two gift bags "The penguin is for you, the stag is for your beau" The doctor took the two bags, looking at them at last. Des' blond hair was neatly combed, their lipstick and makeup flawless and their smile was as mischievous as it always but it was with warmth that they returned his gaze "Merry Christmas, Morpheus". As they turned to walk away, the antisocial chickadee called out to them "Merry Christmas to you as well, Desire...And," He sighed, trying to get the words out, "Thank you for the gifts, it was truly appreciated"

"Any time, big brother" With those words exchanged, the doctor returned to the warmth of his humble abode top be greeted by a teary faced Hob and a very happy Orpheus (who proceeded to give his Dad a big hug) "Hob, what's wrong?" He asked, sitting down next to the journalist, who chuckled a bit after sniffling a bit "It's nothing love, just got a bit emotional, is all" Before the dark chickadee could get more answers, he saw his little star tug at his boyfriend's sleeve and, with the brightest smile of joy, say "Papa!"

Soon, he also felt himself go teary eyed "Yes Orphey, he's your Papa" Morpheus then rested his head against Hob's shoulder "I love you" Hob murmured as the pair exchanged gifts, happy and merry as a family

[nani-nonny]

How would the Peepaws that don't have a Donnie spirit with them react to seeing their F!Donnie again? (Poor guys haven't seen their twins in so long)

I would also like to present them with their favorite apocalypse foods.

And little Raph plushies. Because I love them and definitely don't want to see them cry. :3

Oh! This is good >:) (wasn’t sure if this was for bymh or not lol and I didn’t see this until after I posted the recent bymh hehe I’ll tag it as a bymh solely because of the gifts)

Anyways, a bit of a long post, kind of.

But easily, DMD would cry so, so hard. He would absolutely crumble and hug his twin so hard that he might break F!Donnie’s battle shell (if Donnie was wearing it). He would be unable to speak coherently and the only word that would be easiest to understand is the constant stream of “sorry”.

Reunion’s a cheater and got his brother back already, lol, but when the reset occurred, he and the entire family all hugged each other so tightly for hours. Tears were shed and bruises formed from how hard they hugged each other.

LCD, ohhhh, LCD. Life doesn’t get easier despite how much time passes. When he saw F!Donnie, he felt sick. It felt as if guilt and anger began to churn in his stomach in the worst way possible. And Donnie, ever the inquisitive fellow, was only intrigued by this reaction. Donnie died protecting him, so all Donnie is aware of is that he successfully saved his brother. Leo is reminded of his faults and how he wasn’t the leader smart enough to protect his twin.

(A)PAF is incredibly happy to see his twin. Through Donnie, he sees a chance. A chance to understand where the baby came from, because if anyone knew what Draxum was doing in that lab or anything in general, it would be Donnie. Unlike the others, Donnie didn’t die on regretful terms. He’s so happy he gets to rely on someone again.

And apocalypse foods…

DMD gets rat meat and beans from a can :D

He looks at the crudely plated meal with a nostalgic smile. The way the meat is still steaming and the beans that remain in the can boiling. It’s a bit charred, like he remembers, and he picks up his fork. He raises the fork slightly and says, “Thanks,” before digging in.

Reunion gets grilled roaches on a stick hehe

Reunion raises a brow, “Um… I feel like this is meant to be nostalgic or meaningful in some way, but this was last week’s dinner.”

Reunion don’t fucking lie

He snickers playfully and raises the stick, “Want a bite?”

LCD gets rat soup

He doesn’t say anything as he picks up the spoon and takes a sip. His breath hitches when the broth rests in his mouth for a few seconds before he swallows. Without a second to spare, he digs in quickly, as if on a time limit.

WDS gets rats on a stick

WDS stares at the steaming stick and the charred ends of the rat meat. He looks, rather displeased, but doesn’t outright show it. He takes a bite and nods, “Yeah, just like I remember it… you know, now that I’m back in time, I really took spices for granted. I can’t believe I used to live off of food like this.” He rubs his tympana on his shoulder as his siblings speak, and when he stops he finally says, “I mean, thank you for the food.”

Now, Raph plushies!

Awww, I feel they’ll be so cute and warm to hug!

DMD:

He stares at the plush in his lap. His breath is… tense. His entire body is tense. His gaze remains fixed on the small plushie, as if trying to stare directly into the plush’s soul. He swallows as his hand slowly reaches for his throat, his breath hitches for a second, and his other hand begins to shake. He shuts his eyes tight before his hand pick up the plush. His voice is small when he greets softly, “Hey, big brother…”

Reunion:

He smiles wide and almost childlike. He lifts the plush into the air and catches it with both hands. He spins with the small plush and laughing, “Look how small! It’s so tiny!”

LCD:

He stares at the plush. He taps the plush’s plastron with a glare. He doesn’t say anything, but he sighs. He removes his sword from his hip and unties the braided hilt. He untangles the red bandana and ties it over the plush’s red mask, returning the mask to its original owner. He doesn’t pick up the plush, but leaves.

WDS:

The slider picks up the plush, holding his hand over his mouth. He snorts, and clears his throat as he picks up the plush by its arm with his thumb and forefinger. “Hey, Raph, how do we feel about this little guy? You think he makes the perfect replacement for you?”

APAF:

He picks up the plush as his sight blurs with incoming tears. He tucks the plush in one of his belt pockets and leaves.

[vaggietheangel]

Chaggie week day 7: Beach 💗

"Come on, Vaggie, the water is great!" Charlie cheered as she slapshed around in the ocean. Her old fashioned swim suit looked so well on her.

Vaggie smiled and adjusted her large sun hat. She applied sun ran lotion all over her body. Being careful not to ruin her white bikini as she spread it.

"I'm ok, hon, have fun." She lay back on the sand, pulling "The Viscount who loved me" out of her picnic basket.

The moth giggled any time she heard Charlie splash in the water. She was so silly.

"Ugh, lucky bitch. I can't tan with my stupid fluff!" Angel complained with his arms folded across his chest.

"Then why are you laying in the sun?" Vaggie asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Well, I'm not gonna swim. I'd look like a drowned rat." Angel bit back in a sassy tone.

Vaggie snorted at the mental image. She'd think he'd look more like a chinchilla. Wait...

"So how do you take showers? Do you use powder like chinchillas?" Vaggie asked with a smug look on her face.

"I'm done with this bulshit conversation." Angel snapped.

She had her answer.

Charlie eventually emerged from the water, soaking wet. She walked over to where Vaggie was lying and crawled on top of her. The salty water dripped down onto her girlfriends face. She stared down at her with a giant goofy grin.

"Did you have fun?" Vaggie asked with a chuckel.

Charlie responded by knocking the book out of Vaggie's hands and leaning down to kiss her. She lay down on top of her and wrapped her arms around Vaggie's neck as she deepend the kiss.

"You look so cute in your sun hat!" Charlie exclaimed before she covered Vaggie's face in kisses.

"Hon please, your getting me all wet!" Vaggie laughed.

Angel opened his mouth as he was about to speak. Before he was cut off by Vaggie's "Don't you dare."

Charlie eventually lay down next to Vaggie. Laying her arm across her belly.

"So what were you reading?" Charlie asked as she looked up at her girlfriend.

"Just a Briderton book, those are always my beach books." Vaggie explained as she placed the book back into its bag.

"You know you'd look like an angel in one of those regency era dresses! I'll get you one. Oh, then I could wear a regency era tuxedo. Wouldn't that be fun?" Charlie suggested with a big smile on her face.

"That would be lovley, hon. " Vaggie beamed at the thought of them in matching outfits.

Charlie's head shot up as she heard ice cream music. "Icream! What do you guys want?" Charlie asked excitedly.

"I'll take a popsicle." Angel spoke as he sat up.

"Can you get me oreo ice cream, please?" Vaggie asked sweetly.

"Sure! Dose -" Charlie looked over at Husk, who was currently being buried by Niffty. She covered her mouth with a laugh. Well, that's what happens when you fall asleep on the beach.

Charlie returned with three ice creams.

"Oh shit-" Vaggie said as the ice cream fell onto the floor.

"Don't worry, Vaggie, you can have some of mine." Charlie offered in a chipper tone as she offered some to her girlfriend.

"Thanks, hon." Her girlfriend was such a sweetheart.

Charlie rested her head on Vaggie's shoulder. Moving the hat out of the way. Vaggie looked beautiful, but it was getting in the way of their cuddel time.

Vaggie decided it needed to go if it was blocking Charlie. So she took it off and dropped it on Angel's face.

"Thanks." He mumbled sarcastically.

Benjamin, the puppy, licked up the rest of the ice cream before cuddling up next to his mom's.

"Awww, look, our good boy." Vaggie cooed.

Charlie lay her head on Vaggie's lap and stared up at her. "You're so pretty." She spoke in awe.

Vaggie placed her hand on the top of her girlfriends head and began to stroker her hair.

"You're so handsome." She gave her a little kiss on the forhead.

[captmickey]

Graham and the twins, happy modern AU with the ice cream prompt. If you don't wanna do that, Threepwood fam with the cooking together prompt.

Small hands slapped the table, startling Guybrush from his journal entry. Looking up, he noticed Lucas standing on the opposite side of his desk, or rather, standing on the chair that was on the opposite side of his desk. Staring at him. 

“Yeah, kiddo?” Guybrush closed his journal. “Something the matter?”

“Hungry.”

“Enough that you can only speak in one word?”

“Yes.”

“Wow, you must be starving then.”

"Very."

He shook his head and closed his journal, it could easily wait unlike his son's hunger. "Alright then, but I'm gonna need more than one word to know what to make you, kiddo."

"I… hm." Lucas looked away, pondering for a moment before once more slapping his hands on the table. "Box pasta!"

"...lasagna?"

"That."

"Gotta say, I'm impressed you're sticking to the one word thing." Guybrush admitted. "But unfortunately, box pasta is two words so your one word streak is done."

"Darn it." Lucas pouted but quickly smiled again. "But yes, I want that."

"Alright." He stood up, smiling as Lucas cheered and followed him to the kitchen. 

His cooking resume had increased over the years, but he still relied on a cookbook or five. More to that, there were only a handful of things he could do without the fear of fire or poison, and that was omelets, sunny side up eggs, pasta, and lasagna. Anything else required either supervision or a bucket of water.

Yet that didn’t stop Lucas from wanting lasagna. Specifically Guybrush’s lasagna. It was a mystery to even the Mighty Pirate himself but he wasn’t about to deter his kid from eating.

“Dad?” Lucas spoke up, hoping onto the nearby chair so he could be just a little bit taller and see over the counter.

“Yeah, kiddo?” Guybrush answered, taking from the pantry the necessary ingredients to make the pasta dish.

“Can I help?”

Guybrush looked over his shoulder, seeing Lucas lightly tapping the aforementioned counter. “You want to help make the dish?”

“Mmhmm.”

“Why?” Lucas pondered and then shrugged. “I dunno, it looks fun?”

“Cooking looks fun? Don’t you rather play outside for a bit?” Guybrush asked, prepping the ingredients. 

“Nope, I want to help.”

“It’s not exactly pirate-y.” He teased.

“Nuh uh! You cook all the time in your stories!” Lucas countered. “Like… like the hairy dog drink, and the custard pie and the soup…”

He would hardly count throwing a rat into a cold stew as cooking, nor the custard pie made of shaving cream or a hangover drink.

“And the… the… um… the fish! The spicy one! And the fire Alaska!”

At that, Guybrush looked surprised. 

“Huh, you got me there.” He chuckled and raised his hands up in defeat. “Alright, you win. You can help me make the dish.”

“Yay!” 

Lucas scooted as close as he could to Guybrush as he placed the cookbook in front of him. One by one, he saw the needed vegetables. The tomatoes and onions he easily recognized but the others he wasn’t as familiar.

“Do I get to cut it? Oh! Can I cut it with the cutlass?” Lucas hopped.

“Easy, you keep hopping like that and you’ll fall off.” He ruffled the top of his son’s head. “Can’t have you bonking your head.”

“You bonk your head all the time.” He giggled.

“True, but… let's leave it at that.” Guybrush flipped the pages. “And no, you’re not cutting, especially with a cutlass.”

“Awww.”

“You get to mix it all together.” He handed Lucas a wooden spoon. 

“That’s it?”

Guybrush scoffed. “That’s it? That’s the most important part. If the sauce tastes gross then the entire dish tastes gross… and I don’t think your mother would appreciate another gross pasta dish.” 

“Taste?”

“Yeah? You’re in charge of making sure it’s all stirred together well and that it tastes good. More to that, I need you to make sure I put the right ingredient in this here bowl. Think you can do that?”

Lucas’s eyes lit up and he eagerly took hold of the wooden spoon, earning a good laugh out of Guybrush as he got to dicing the vegetables. With each properly chopped ingredient, Guybrush added it to the bowl, Lucas looked over at the book, reading each word carefully with the occasional correction from Guybrush.

“Alright, that should be all of them. Are we missing anything?” Guybrush asked.

“It says that we needed zoo… zoo…. Chee?” Lucas pouted. “I can’t read that word.”

“Which one?”

“This one. Zoo chee nigh?” 

“Zoo chi– oh. Zucchini.”

“That’s how you write zucchini?” Lucas made a face. “That’s too many c’s.”

“Heh, yeah, but that’s what it spells… and I think we can skip that one since we’re currently short of that vegetable.” He cleaned the knife. “Alright, you can get to mixing.”

“Uh… how? It’s all solid.”

“Well, you can mush it just enough that it has a sauce-like texture.” Guybrush suggested. “You can use your spoon to smash–”

A smile quickly took over Lucas as he lifted the spoon high and slammed it hard into the vegetables, splattering both Threepwoods with the sauce.

“...it. Okay.” Guybrush wiped some of the sauce off of his eyes, seeing Lucas blinking in disbelief before looking over at him, almost bracing himself for a reprimand. Instead, Guybrush ruffled his head again. “You got some red on you.”

“You too!” Lucas giggled.

“I sure do… lets ah… lets not do that again, alright? Or else we’ll be swabbies.”

At that, Lucas looked startled and nodded in agreement. “I’d rather be a cook than a swabby.”

“Agreed.”

[patchdotexe]

doip. / 5.24.23: the woodland manse

TIME FOR DOIP! it's been a few months so: welcome to dragon of icespire peak, the d&d campaign jorb is running with me, nyx v4shthestampede, and green bahamutgreen! starring the bullheaded dragonborn fighter Alidaar, the nameless halfling druid that's usually a binturong, and the new arrival (and walking disaster of a lizardfolk) hoping for treasure, Kepesk! together we're gonna fight a really angry dragon, but first there's a lot of problems in the world we need to tackle before we have any hope or surviving.

leo: [joins call] good news, i found my dice! jorb: [plays the anime "WOW!" sound on the soundboard]

Redesign Your Alidaar, We Know What We're Doing

LAST TIME, ON DRAGON OF ICESPIRE PEAK: Our heroes, having said goodbye to their friend Tobias, made their way to the Dragon Barrow. There, they met a new but unexpected ally: a lizardfolk by the name of Kepesk. The three braved the barrow together, and after some close calls, claimed the Dragonslayer sword within. Outside, they met a hobgoblin named Toblin Bloodsword, leading them through Neverwinter wood. oh fuck ive lost behind. WILL OUR HEROES BE ABLE TO CLEAR THE MANCE AND CLAIM THEIR REWARD? OR WILL THE CACOLYTES TAKE THEM BY STORM? FIND OUT………. TODAY!

i'm really good at what i do.

kepesk: wow it feels like we slept a month or two or something alidaar: more like four!

nyx: didn't we gaslight toblerone? […] leo: what's his actual name again, jorb: targor! leo, sobbing: WHY DID I THINK HIS NAME WAS TOBLIN?!

alidaar: i cartwheel over. nyx: what?? alidaar: i cartwheel over! nyx: well i was gonna ride on your shoulder or something, but i guess you're cartwheeling?? jorb: you heard the man! green: kepesk follows tripping over everything jorb: targor walks over doing a handstand or something. i dunno

good morning, falcon is here! also breakfast is here! let's goooo alidaar: good morning, motherfuckers! ..i dont say that part. OH NAMELESS HAS A NEW TOKEN, CUTE

……..huh. nameless sure is red suddenly. And This Sure Is An Overnight Change, Huh

falcon: would you mind terribly if corwin and pell dined with us this morning? alidaar: sure, why not? kepesk: [NOISE]

I FORGOT WE DUPED THE SHIT OUT OF TARGOR. targor is now aware that nameless just Does That (become a man)

jorb: [describing dinner] there's a couple of fish as well. nyx: alive. jorb: NOT ALIVE

falcon gives us a map! nyx: i am looking, i m looking with my eyes, i put my eyes on it, leo: nameless puts his face on the map. jorb, concerned: ..make a perception check? nyx: i swear im normal. [rolls a 17] jorb: this is a nice parchment!

nameless throws the map to kepesk. kepesk uses it as a napkin and then realizes its a map. falcon: i suspect i'm going to have new stories to tell after this. alidaar: you don't know the half of it. kepesk: about who :D?

nyx: i desperately want to talk to targor and tell him we're not usually like this leo: but that would be a lie :D nyx: that would be a lie.

jorb: [attempting to figure out why we can't see zodiark's name] leo: i can edit the horse. nyx: you can edit the horse???

falcon: try not to die. alidaar: it'll be hard as hell to kill us, don't you worry. :D jorb: and with that, you guys head off! nyx: ……..where am i going? jorb: YOU GUYS HAVE A MAP.

oh it's spelled manse. woodland manse. nyx: [rolls a 22 on survival] jorb: [..] you make some updates to the map as you go. leo: your map sucks ass, we improved it nyx: i'm grimacing as i hold it because it's still a bit greasy

OH SHIT THE SENDING STONE IS GLOWING OMG TOBIAS !! RAT BOYYYYY awww he misses us ;w; (and is craving cheese.) jorb: do you want to respond? you have 25 words. nyx and leo: OH GOD WHY ARE YOU MAKING US DO MATH his message is 25 words exactly. this guy. nyx: my response is two words: stay safe. kepesk: why are you guys talking to a rock? alidaar: [deadpan] sometimes rocks are magic. kepesk:

jorb: [..] you come across a clearing. nyx: why is there a boar in the bushes? green: is that a world of warcraft boar? jorb: yeah

jorb: so, what will you do? nyx: does targor have anything to say about this? jorb: oh. right. targor should say things.

OH GOD THERE'S TWO OF THEM (PARTY MEMBERS THAT'RE GOLD-MOTIVATED) NOW

jorb: do you have the ability to move targor, by the way? leo: no. i was gonna send him to the moon to test nyx: send variable to the moon. jorb: okay, try it now leo: [launches targor across the map] YEET nyx: OH GOD

jorb: there is not another identical mansion. nyx: sad. jorb: sad! leo: sad! nyx: sad! jorb: sad!

I HAVE DIED. SADLY.

leo: are the boars doing anything? jorb: uh, no, they're just grazing in the pumpkin patch. nyx: are they eating the actual pumpkins, or the leaves, or..? jorb: do they eat pumpkins? probably the leaves. leo: [googling] do boars eat pumpkins..

kepesk is leaving zodiark outside to graze on the pumpkins.

green: i can't believe i'm only asking this now and it's not my notes.. WHY did we come here??? (it's ok green i also didn't put that in my notes. anyway we're here to wipe out followers of talos and maybe get cool boots)

jorb: [describing a room] alidaar: i wanna get a look at those figures on the fireplace. jorb: it's weird- one of them looks like a binturong. one of them looks like YOU. and.. one of them looks like tobias. leo: WHAT? UM. OK . CREEPY MANSION HAS WEIRD WOODEN FIGURES OF THE ORIGINAL PARTY????? HOLY SHIT???

leo: oh my god the tokens,,, jorb: yeah i tried to get an ai to make [the tokens] into wood, it.. leo: it looks like it melted alidaar. jorb: ..had mixed results EVERYONE IS FIALING SO BAD AT INVESTIGATING THE REST OF THE ROOM BECAUSE THEY'RE DISTRACTED BY THE WEIRD CARVINGS

kepesk: i don't care about art.

jorb: -oh hey this is pretty neat actually

targor: what are you guys looking at? alidaar: hey targor, have you ever heard of wood? targor: targor: i'm.. familiar.

green: i feel like ive been so aggressive to him, i have no beef with targor. jorb: with TOBLIN, on the other hand,

leo: kepesk wants a carving of himself SO BAD jorb: they're not carvings, they're like.. 3d figures made of sticks. green: ohhh! that's even creepier. nyx: it's like that one movie. [pause] jorb: henry stickmin.

nyx: it looks like a pantry gone wrong. kepesk: is there ANYTHING of value in this place?! jorb: do you want to make an investigation check? leo: --all of my player instincts are yelling at me to start setting fire to this place. KEPESK NO DON'T EAT THE TOXIC SLUTCH leo: do we have cure poison on deck?? kepesk: do you guys want some? alidaar: [full-body recoils] nameless: [walks away] kepesk: ..i was just joking! :D ;;

courtyard has weird vines growing out of the well! thats probably an issue kepesk: i wonder if these vines would go well with food-sludge. nameless pokes the vines and they move. Hm! Bad! Time To Be Elsewhere

jorb: ..and you hear muffled talking. [dramatic music sting] leo: whoa, music change! jorb: the music didn't change, it just did that.

UH OH nyx alerted the guys on the floor above us! Problems!

jorb: if everybody could roll initiative for me! nyx: are we jumping through the hole in the ceiling?? leo: you bet your ass! targor rolled a 15 on his initiative! green: whoa! go off king! jorb: he's full of blood! leo: i think most people are.

jorb: [editing turn order so we can't see our opponents' rolls] you saw nothing. leo: i saw nothing but a 5 jorb: 5! green: 5! jorb: 4. green: 3. jorb: 2-- leo: [plays "E" with reverb on the soundboard] leo: did you know E is the 5th letter of the alphabet? :D

SOMEBODY THREW A DFUCKING JAVELIN AT US???? jorb: what would you like targor to do? green: targor! kill!

up against a human, an orc, and a half-orc! jorb: [stage whisper] they were all orcs in the original module, but i added some divesrsty hires! update: jorb misread the encounter so the javelin has been un-thrown and nameless has been un-mutilated

PEPPER WANTS M CHEEZITS SO SO SO SO SO BAD

KEPESK IS NOW RAGING OH SHIT KEPESK'S NEW RAGE IS COOL AS HELL he's got a cool stormcloud mask thing !! yoooo kepesk is WRECKING shit this RULES I AM ALSO NOW WRECKING SHIT. alidaar can now attack twice with his main weapon and once with his offhand! so he just. absolutely slaughters the ones kepesk didn't. also i have two breath weapons now! I CAN FUS RO DAH PEOPLE i should probably not fus ro dah people oh my god targor has a fucking. magic bloodsword. that's why they call him targor bloodsword ig hmm. nameless keeps using radiant damage now. i don't think that's what they usually do but i could be wrong. but also there has been no thorn whip silliness so far

jorb: i'm not even gonna make you roll, because he has 1 hp. [..] how do you want to do this? green: there's nothing that can go wrong with straight up cutting a guy in half anime style jorb: he goes "huh, that didn't do anything--" leo: he explodes. jorb: [explosion soundboard]

so anyway we just completely demolished that encounter in, like, one and a half rounds. goodbye fuckers

after a bathroom break: jorb: there, can you see it now?

leo: [SOUND] green: final boss: the go piss girl.

jorb: it is dark in here - do you have darkvision? green: i have swimming! [..] leo: do you want me to come over here? i have darkvision jorb: i retconned- i kept waffling on if you have darkvision or not.. leo: [checks character sheet] ah! i no longer have darkvision. (jorb gave alidaar nightvision before but the dragonborn update happened so now some of the variants have darkvision and alidaar's variant Does Not. ah well)

HOO BOY the dark room contains A Guy doing a. weird ritual? surrounded by weird twig creatures! that look kinda like the weird ones on the mantle! jorb: kepesk, you know what these are. [..] these are twigblights! green: YOO, ITS HENRY STICKMIN! leo: YOOOO green: YOOOO ITS HENRY STICKMIN LEADER OF THE TOPPAT CLAN leo: there's one for each route! :D

kepesk: hey do you think itd be funny if i went up and bit him? OH MY GOD SHE ROLLED A 20 STEALTH . OH MY GOD THATS A 27??? THAT'S A NAT 19 TO HIT. JESUS CHRIST kepesk: haha! you don't taste very good! [<- green described as "in his shittiest sonic voice"]

green: okay maybe i should roll for initiative

green: MAYBE I SHOULDN'T ROLL FOR INITIATIVE, DAMN,

horc enemy is SHOOTING LIGHTNING AT US???? WUH OH . OH GOD I HAVE BEEN KNOCKED DOWN TO 15 HP. AAUGH fun thing about the dragonborn rework: i can now replace one of my attacks with my breath weapon! i also now have Two Breath Weapons! and Two Attacks! and also an offhand attack! anyway i just Obliterated the stickmen except for one, then used my brand new fus ro dah repulsion breath to send the big bad flying into the wall and knock him prone. and then ran up and used my offhand to smack the final stickman into the ceiling. GET FUCKED LOL

nyx: im gonna walk up to alidaar and use.. uh… fuckin.. bitches! (nameless used cure wounds)

kepesk saunters up to The Guy and just. OH MY GOD GREEN ROLLED A CRIT? green: he's on the floor and i'm just [smacking noises] jorb: stabbity stab! leo: [plays "punch" sound effect A Lot]

HM. the guy backed up into a different corner and casted.. some sort of spell that didn't have a visible effect? time for nameless to roll arcana! jorb: in the words of himiko from danganronpa 3… "~it's magic~!" :D

alidaar: okay, im gonna just run straight at him and start going ham jorb: I NEVER ROLLED INITIATIVE FOR TARGOR!!!!! anyway alidaar just obliterated that guy with a dragonslayer crit. unfortunately it sounds like he was trying to do an evil last words monologue before getting beheaded. oops!

targor: sorry i'm la GREEN GOT DMCA'D ON TWITTER????? FOR VENOM GANGNAM STYLE??????????? IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FIGHT???????????????????????????

uh. targor: ..why are there a bunch of frozen sticks on the ground? alidaar, covered in blood: oh y'know. occupational hazard.

WOAGH ok now that we're out of battle, nameless has rolled again for arcana and got a nat20! HM. THE GUY APPEARS TO HAVE CAST SENDING. green: i guess we shouldn't… stick around! :D

alidaar found some dust of disappearance :o and now we're going upstairs! leo: where's.. i nearly called him torbjorn. We Keep Forgetting Targor

jorb: you find a hidden door! [zelda jingle] alidaar: wow! just like in the murder of sonic the hedgehog! green: YEAAA i hope there's a milf at the end of this! (jorb: falcon could be a milf.)

time to do another round of investigating/perceiving! leo: i'm going to perceive it. jorb: [some joke abt apollo justice's bracelet i forgot] green: YEA!! leo: [rolls a 8] jorb: you don't have a bracelet, so it doesn't work leo: i start crying. [..] green: perception! just like my hero apollo justice! [rolls a 16] IMFINE! jorb: you are So fine that you find [..] a wooden staff!

Time For Nameless To Want Shiny Item jorb: they way their pupils are dilating.. you don't think they're gonna give it back. kepesk: are you gonna eat it????? [..] nameless: i give alidaar puppydog eyes. leo: what do i roll to defend against puppydog eyes? jorb: make a wisdom saving throw. leo: 10! nyx: [rolls a nat20 persuasion] leo: AH NO jorb: you can't say no to the puppydog eyes!

leo: i should start throwing targor around like a sack of potatoes like i did to tobias, that'd be funny

A BUNCH OF LITTLE NASTY BOYS ARE HERE nyx rolled a crit initiative what the FUCK my man i rolled 13.12 on my initiative! acab The Groupchat Gets Distracted Talking About Subspace Emissary nyx is going ham with the staff while i google what subspace enemy jorb and green were comparing the nasty boys to (it was an armight) nyx is Struggling to roll a d8

alidaar stuck his head through the door and used his breath weapon to Obliterate the encounter! and also freeze nameless a little bit. sorry </3 leo: how confident are you in your ability to roll above a 13 [for dexterity] nyx: i have a +1 to dexterity but do what you will leo: are you prepared to face the consequences of my actions?

kepesk has found a bathroom green: sounds boring. jorb: you dont wanna take a bath? stinky! stinkyyyy! green: --just gotta go stinky mode. jorb: smely!!!

OH GODDAMNIT MY MIC STOPPED PICKING ME UP AT SOME POINT. BIG EFF minor pause to reread my notes from Two Years Ago from when we checked the loggers camp! my notes for that session were terrible leo: [reading out notes] "hm. wonder how donjon's doing." jorb: [laughing] BAD.

Delicious Sludge! (kepesk keeps trying to eat weird things. like soot.) leo: alidaar starts jogging around. like a white dad jorb: there is a wardrobe here. leo: [squeaky] JUST LIKE THE MURDER OF SONIC THE HEDGEHOG! CLOAK OF BILLOWIIIIIIIIING kepesk is All Over this locked chest awww yeah. AH FUCK HE GAVE HIS THIEVES TOOLS TO CARROWAY IN HIS BACKSTORY CAMPAIGN its ok nameless has a crowbar nameless rolled a nat1. kepesk Also struggles with the crowbar. alidaar walks in and starts fucking Wailing on it with his morningstar green: if this thing's a mimic this would be so messed up NAMELESS KICKED IT AND GOT A CRIT jorb: how does one get a crit on an unarmed strike?? the answer is "not very well". nameless then stubbed their toe YAHOO KEPESK CAME IN SWINGING WITH A 2HANDED WARHAMMER AND SMASHED THE CHEST god this was a mess jorb: it's a flat iron rod with a button on one end. leo: it's a Gun. OH MY GOD IT'S AN IMMOVABLE ROD you push the button and it just Freezes in place and cannot be moved! kepesk tries to put it in his pocket and forgot to unpress the button. i love kepesk green: imagine if you put it in your pocket and you buttpress the button

YEAAA ALIDAAR GETS THE CLOAK OF BILLOWING time to go back downstairs! alidaar steps on a staircase and it immediately collapses. whoops alidaar takes one last look at the weird figurines and considers taking his, but decides against it and walks out. also we may have started boar religion or something? meanwhile nameless grabs the tobias one and OOPS! COMBAT! THEYRE ALIVE! nyx: i use sacred flame. jorb: on which one? nyx: the.. binturong one. leo: nameless said no doubles.

alidaar is Really Sad about having to fight the twigblight of himself :( nyx wants to save the tobias one :( :( TWIGBIAS twigbias does 5 damage to nyx's discord and makes it so he can't hear anything kepesk sees what's happening and decides to stay out of it. targor: what's going on in there? [extended silence] AW NOOOO nameless tried to dispel magic but it didnt work.. WHY DOES NAMELESS HAVE A 25 POUND CHEST????? alidaar tries to shove twigbias in the chest. he drops the chest on his foot (nat1). good lord jorb: targor walks in and says "give me that" and grabs the chest off alidaar's toe.. [rolls a 3] ..and he drops it on HIS toe EVERYTHING HAS GONE SO FAR OFF THE RAILS Alidaar And Nameless Try To Shove Twigbias Into A Chest kepesk walks up. grabs twigbias. shoves him in. WE DID IT

OH MY GOD ONE OF THE BOARS IS A DUDE OH MY GOD. MORE INITIATIVE. WHAT IS HAPPENING. THE BOARS ARE MEN kepesk: you guys were eating with my horse this whole time?? okay so. earlier the boar religion comment was because when i was looking at the twigblight party jorb mentioned how we encountered a boar Ages ago and tobias used speak with animals to tell it to go away? and now we walk out of the manse and one of the boars goes YOU SHALL NOT PASS and turns into a dude. and now there are more dudes. and basically i think we have caused problems alidaar: WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON? WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM? [awkward silence] nyx: is he not gonna say anything? jorb: well, its not his turn, alidaar promptly charges at the pumpkin boar and slaps it clean in half okay cool the guy is a talos fanatic and is not gonna listen to me anyway. ah well it was worth a shot

one of the nettleblights(?) - oh yeah those guys are here too. big versions of the thornblights. one of them attacked zodiark so nameless blew it up talos, lord of boars, i walked away to get cake and when i came back it still wasnt my turn yet jorb: 30 to 40 feral hogs green: i thought [zodiark] would be really strong because he's a skeleton, but i was using mario logic, nameless: im gonna use sacred flame on.. the bitch! that is up my ass.

leo: hi im back whats up jorb: you're about to get owned! leo: oh. okay [thunderwave cave from pmd playing as alidaar gets electrocuted] LETS GIVE IT UP FOR ROUND 3 alidaar is covered in blood and he loves it. he's a fightboy! jorb: he was a gladiator! not willingly, but, leo: eh you have fun with it alidaar smacks a guy with a sword and then sticks his tongue out at him. >:P

alidaar is getting electrocuted again! leo: HOOH sorry there was a bug on my screen [right next to alidaar] jorb: you take 8 thunder damage irl [..] jorb: aw, i was trying to make it so he'd push you through the window leo: can i go through the window anyway? jorb: i mean, on your turn, if you want to,

GIANT'S MIIIIIGHT [super mushroom noise] alidaar supersizes, charges head-on at the final enemy (which is the one that tried to push me through a window), and uses his battleax to slap him straight into the sky and obliterate him on impact. alidaar: FUCK YOUUUUU leo: --and then he goes back to normal because combat ended. [checks skills] wait no this last one minute. and that was six seconds. um. jorb: you're large now! leo: alidaar stands there and goes "huh. i'm large now."

back to falcon's house! nameless brought back one of the boars for dinner :D nameless is having a normal experience with reality. what the fuck is happening. Kepesk And Alidaar Get One Boot Each targor is leaving! kepesk: aw, targor, but you're so based! nyx: don't speak those witch's words at him. I FORGOT KEPESK'S PRE-CAMPAIGN GROUP - IM GOING TO KILL JORB .RIGHT NOW kepesk's previous group was expies of the chaotix. targor was planned from the getgo to be mighty the armadillo. WAIT THE WILDERS ARE THE ONES THAT KILLED HIS PEOPLE. WE HAVE GASLIT HIM UNTIL THE VERY END green: i feel so bad, but yknow.. extenuating circumstances.. jorb: why does it keep spawning more namelesses? nyx: i shape back into binturong form. which hopefully there is only one of. AN INVISIBLE NAMELESS

jorb: do you guys wanna chat or are you just going to sleep? kepesk: so that was pretty fucked up, right? alidaar: yeah! kepesk: (at nameless) does it hurt when you go binturong mode, or? nameless: [shakes head] alidaar: sometimes they're a dog! --WAIT YOU WERE THERE FOR DOG WITH A SWORD kepesk: I WAS! :D

SOMETHING IS BREAKING INTO THE HUNTER'S LODGE AAAAAAAAAAA OH MY GOD. BIG BOAR BIG BOAR BIG BOAR

AAAA

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

...and that's the end of the session! CLIFF HANGERRRRRRR

we still have twigbias btw.

[stuckinuniformdevelopment]

@bishop-percival

(Previous) Bert grinned and pointed at the beloved rat Teddy was holding. “To cart her sleepy head here. And because it’s the most convenient way to carry all my stuff… It’s like a small portable workstation for me!” Mike, who was actually quite comfortable on his ladder as it made him feel tall and imposing, chimed in with “that doesn’t seem very secure, though.” Bert narrowed his eye at him as he moved his setup back a step away from him. “What? I meant that as advice, not as a threat or something,” Mike huffed. “It’d be so easy for someone to walk up and snatch something from it, or flat out run away with the entire thing.”

Awww... How sweet... Teddy fondly smiled as he gave Sherri Jr's nosey little nose a gentle headbutt. After a moment he realized that, now that he was paying attention, all that pressure on his shoulders was starting to hurt. Was the stray bruise that was over it still tender, or were his shoulders still stiff because sleeping on his back fucking sucks?

Either way he needed to get her off. So he gave her firm strokes on the top of her head to coax her back onto his lap. Then he securely hugged her as he slowly spun around, waited for her to climb up, then turned towards Mike and Bert with a bit-back sigh.

On second thought, making sure these two can work together may be the most significant role. And it fell onto a man with terrible social skills.

Teddy forced a disarming smile as he dismissively waved his hand. Mike had a point. Yet he didn't seem to know how to give constructive criticism.

“That's an easy fix. I'll show you where the spare office furniture is later.”

His coworkers had forced him to become familiar with the storage rooms before he even graduated from being a disposable intern. It was that or let the busted disasters waiting to happen stick around until someone got injured. Mostly chairs. Gropdamned things couldn't keep all their legs on the floor...

[izzy-b-hands]

@dianetastesmetal and I have been chatting abt DCI Ferguson as a cat (were he wizard cursed, he would be turned into a cat. search ur hearts, u know it to be true)

which led into what if Izzy had to deal with an animal onboard, his responsibility, but it's Cat Ferguson specifically?

This is that! And i think it turned out p darn adorable 🥰

---

"All you need to do is look after the cat "

Izzy nods. "Why me, exactly?"

"Because Frenchie trusts you to keep the beast under control," Ed replies. "Please. He's really honestly a bit upset, but we're getting paid to get this cat to where he needs to go, and it isn't as if he can row himself anywhere."

He stares at the grumpy-looking British Longhair. The cat stares back.

"Alright."

--

"Um."

"Yes?"

Ferguson is wrapped around his neck, legs on either shoulder, purring loud enough to be audible from nearly a foot away.

"I was going to ask you to help scrape barnacles," Lucius sighs. "But...oh."

He gives Ferguson a pet on the head, and leaves them without another word of the chore.

"You sure you want to leave, when we get near England? You don't have to. I mean, we're supposed to-"

Ferguson purrs loudly in his ear, as if to tell him to not even think about it.

"Alright. We'll figure that out later, but I think Mr. Roach mentioned making some treats for you-"

He fights back giggles all the way to the galley, at the cat apparently deciding to deafen him with purrs alone to keep him in line.

--

The longer he stays, the more Ferguson starts to settle in.

With Izzy, at least.

"Hey!" Pete swipes the air near Ferguson as claws sink into his ankle. "What? All because I passed by and didn't pet you?!"

"Told you there's a toll," Lucius says, gently patting Ferguson as he darts by. "And even then, depends on the day. I think he still likes us though."

"He's literally making me bleed, babe."

"Sometimes the people we like hurt us," Lucius says. "Gently pull his claws out and let's keep going. Stede won't wait that much longer for us."

"What does he even need?"

"Does it matter?"

Pete leans down, and more taps than pets the little furry knife hanging onto him. "I really gotta go. Sorry?"

The claws unhinge from him, and Ferguson jumps back up to the barrel he'd been sleeping on, to wait for the next person to dare to pass by.

--

"He's fine," Ed says softly. "I'm sure he i-"

A dark coloured blur of fur whizzes past his and Izzy's legs.

"See? There he is," Ed continues. "Was. For a minute. What's he doing anyway?"

"Rat!"

There's a splash, and they peer over the rail to find The Swede in the water.

"He's chasing a rat!" The Swede calls up. "I'll come back up when he's caught it!"

"It's just a rat!" Izzy shouts down. "Every ship you've been on has probably had them!"

"Iz," Ed hisses. "He'll never come back up now!"

"Tell him that rat is the only one on our ship!"

Ferguson trots past them again, growling.

"Might be the only one left if he keeps this up," Ed smiles. "Look! His paws are all bloody. Awww."

"Excellent little murderer," Izzy agrees, scooping the cat up. "You help us convince The Swede he's safe, yeah? Guard him from any rats."

Purrs and bloodstained biscuits being made on his shoulder seem to suggest that Ferguson is amenable to it.

--

"You're the one that sent a cat across the sea and didn't expect him to enjoy it more than land," Izzy says, Ferguson cradled in his arms. "Not really sure what you want us to do about that."

They've been trying to drop off Ferguson with his new caretaker, a young woman named Denise, for the better part of two hours.

Ferguson isn't making it easy.

"You know, I was warned about this," Denise says to Ferguson. "That you could be the most frustrating, irritating cat known to man."

She sighs. "That said...maybe something could be arranged. Might benefit myself as well, I've got more than enough going on right now."

"Family?" Stede asks. "I remember the early days with Mary, and-"

"Murder," Denise interrupts. "And worse, but that's none of your business."

Izzy bites back a smile. Stede was trying to be polite, he gets it, but he's no better than Izzy at reading the room for that.

Three hours later, after a brief discussion about the murder being investigated (Ed is the one to get Denise talking about the poor kid, Amy, and Izzy swears he can physically see the stress melt off of Denise as she vents), they head back for the ship.

With Ferguson, and a drawn up schedule of regular visits to Denise, "to make sure the grumpy old man is still doing well, chasing rats, enjoying the salt air", in his arms.

[the-fiction-witch]

Take My Hand P15

Media Irl x 1910

Character Thomas Brodie Sangster

Couple Thomas X Reader

Rating Adorable AF

Concept Take My Hand Series

|Y/n|

We headed down to my cabin for an early night I began getting sorted for the night and I noticed Thomas' confused lingerie

"Yes?"

"I'm afraid to ask but... lavatory?"

"Ohh down the hall third door in the left for the gents" I explained

"Oh, okay. But what if I have to go in the night?"

"Put on a jacket and your shoes, you can turn the lights on when you get in there it's a little switch or at least it is in the ladies" I explained

"Okay, also... where am I going to sleep?"

"Did you not think about that before asking to sleep down here?"

"I did not."

I giggled and knelt on the sofa pushing the back down forming a small bed "here you go, top or bottom bunk?"

"I'll have the bottom, my little angel can have to top bunk" he smiled giving me a small kiss before we both got sorted for bed with a blanket and pillow each

I leant over the bunk to look down at him tucked up with his blanket

"Cozy?"

"Very cozy. You happy up there?"

"Very happy, goodnight Thomas"

"Goodnight y/n. Sleep well"

"You too" I smiled

"Could I have a kiss down here?" He playfully wines

"You may" I smiled leaning off holding the top of my bunk to swing down and give him a little kiss which he happily sat up and accepted "sleep tight don't let the bed bugs bite" I giggled getting cozy with my blanket

"...are there bed bugs down here?"

"I don't know" I giggled turning off the light I could hear him fidgeting in the bed below me often causing me to giggle at him

"Y/n?"

"Yes Thomas?"

"I'm scared of the bed begs. And I keep hearing scattering"

"That's the rats my sweet"

"...now I'm very scared I don't like rats. Or mice. Or bugs."

"Do you wanna come up here?" I giggled already knowing the answer and in fact no answer came merely creaking of the wooden ladder as he climbed up into my bed and wrapped the covers around us both nuzzling close wrapping his arms around me

"Ummmm much better" he Cooes kissing my shoulder

"Very cozy indeed. Goodnight Thomas"

"Goodnight my angel."

I felt so happy in his arms so safe and protected happily drifting off to sleep for a while but I noticed not too far into the night we were both woken by a sharp hard jolt enough to move us in our bed and the bags to hit against the wall even the light flickered on for a moment.

"Owww" I complained as my wrist had hit the bunk "holy toad!"

"Humm what's up? You okay?" He yawns sitting up but the hitting his head in the ceiling "oww. What's going on?"

"I don't know the whole place jolted"

"Are you alright?'

'i hit my hand"

"Awww you poor baby" he Cooes giving my wrist a kiss

"What happened?"

"Hummm probably just something hit the propeller angel. Nothing to worry yourself over" he yawns laying back down with me pulling me close to him

"Like what?"

"Rock?"

"In the ocean?"

"Small boat?"

"A small boat?"

"a small fragment of a boat?"

"Ice?"

"There isn't ice this time of year angel go back to bed" he groans

"It's the Atlantic Ocean its full of ice Thomas"

"Yes but that's why they have look outs. Probably some drunk on deck threw his jacket on the propellers"

"That would make the whole ship jolt?"

"Maybe I don't know I'm not navy"

"Sorry."

"It's fine, I'm sure it's nothing to worry about"

"Still... now I'm awake. I can't sleep"

"Me either..." he sighed "What would my lovely wife like to do then?"

"What time is it?"

"Uhhh... 11:40 ish?" He groans checking the time

"In the morning?"

"No no night"

"No, No..." I whined "Can you think of something for us to do?"

[delcakoo]

riki with a short gf ₊˚⌗𖤐⊹

requested ! jay ver ! jake ver ! hoon ver !

PAIRING ! niki x f!reader

WC ! 1.4K

GENRE ! fluff, crack

a/n: riki ver finally here, pls enjoyyy :D next is sunoo, wonnie, then hee! (doing them in the order of reqs i got ^^)

sunghoon junior.

no ‘cause honestly he needs to give you some of them pills he’s been having 💀

i think everyone knows a big part of your boyfriend’s love language is teasing and joking around

it’s his way of showing how close and comfortable he is with you!

so of course.. something veRy easy to tease about.. aka your height.. WILL be coming up in conversation on a daily basis

in a lighthearted fight?

“see riki? i told you that wouldn’t work”

“no you didn’t,” he’d mumble stubbornly

“did so”

“did not”

“did so”

“well.. you’re short” 😞

as a conversation starter perhaps?

“so, do you guys think y/n grew today? yeah me neither!”

maybe as a way to fix an awkward hangout?

“uh.. y’know, jay hyung told me to appreciate the little things. so i went to give y/n a hug.”

..🧍

LIKE WHY

why are you dating this menace

one time you were in the kitchen

doing the clasSic short person move of climbing up the counter to reach the cabinet and grab your favourite mug

and while some boyfriend’s might gasp and scold you for doing something so dangerous instead of asking them for help before quickly running to help you down safely,,,

not yours <3

you’re like balancing on one foot on the counter, desperately reaching for this stupid mug

“son of a..” you mutter in annoyance, “how did it even get all the way up there!”

then suddenly in the background

a *click!* followed by THE MOST annoying giggling on the planet

your head WHIPS AROUND, nearly losing balance in the process and your dumb boyfriend is right outside the kitchen RECORDING YOU ..

of course he took many pictures too that he will 100% be sending to the enhypen gc:

riki - look at this tiny thief i found in the kitchen

hoon - hahahaah what is she doing up there? 🤣

jungwon - awww

riki - i put that ugly cat mug she got at value village on the highest shelf 🫡 did our eyes a favour fr

sunoo - YAH >:c give it back to the poor girl now!

jay - Seriously. How does he have a girlfriend again?

and you’re just like “ay dumbass, you think you’re funny?”

HE GIGGLES MORE

mf is lucky he’s adorable

“get your giraffe ass over here now nishimura 😐”

he obliges.. but sends disapproving glares as you pour your drink into that terrible cat cup

but anyway

in reality, riki just loves taking pictures of you all the time and every widget on his phone is 100% of you doing random things or on dates <3

speaking of you on riki’s phone he definitely has your contact as some kind of miniature/small character and thinks he’s hilarious

YOUR NAME FOR HIM IS LIKE “my love <3”

then he’s over here with tinkerbell

or stitch

or remy the rat idfk

HE’S JUST MEAN

when you confront him about it he’s like “okay okay i’ll change it! geez.. you short people have so much anger in your tiny bodies..”

changing it is really just him adding gf in brackets after the nickname :c

also after he does something helpful like getting smthn too high up for you HE WILL NOT GET OVER THAT FOR WEEKS

“babe, can you put my plate away too?”

you raise a brow, “why should i? you have two fully functioning, long ass legs the last time i checked”

he gasps dramatically

“hey, who helped you get that mug last wednesday because you were too shoRt???”

“that was a week ago riki.”

niki’s favourite line to use is “yOu oWe mE”

another example

you guys are in bed right

“you’re hogging y/n, give me blanket,” he rasps lazily, trying to yank the sheets from your tired hold

“no <3”

he frowns

“whO let you sit on their shoulders at the txt concert so your tiny ass could see yeonjun??”

“thAt was differenT, it was for yeonjun! now shut up and let me sleep”

after that he gets all pouty and it results in him throwing his whole body around yours

good luck getting out of his hold in the morning

“right in front of your boyfriend. i see how it is..”

then you make a comment on how yeonjun probably wouldn’t tease you for your height

and he gasps in offence because you boTh know THAT'S JUST PART OF HIS CHARM 🙄

but yeah all in all just. takes fULL ADVANTAGE OF YOUR HEIGHT DIFFERENCE to make you do things for him smh

and even though he’s constantly pestering you for it, your boyfriend really does love your height and thinks you’re the perfect size for him!!

he shows it in his own niki ways..

“baby look how big my hand is next to yours!!” he giggles with the CUTEST boxy smile, this time without any teasing, just pure adoration on his face T-T

constantly calls you cute under his breath when you do ANYTHING

if you look up at him with a puppy face he will definitely break and buy you whatever you want

(then he claims that you’re using him for his money)

stands behind you when you’re talking to someone and rubs your sides while resting his chin on your head :(

gives you piggybacks/carries you whenever he feels like it without a care in the world of people around you

“yah, your tiny legs must be tired from all this walking, c’mere!”

“nah i’m oka—oof!“

before you can protest he’s grabbed your waist and forced your legs to wrap around his middle, carrying you all the way home :D

“you’re welcome, wah i’m such a good boyfriend ☺️”.. even though he definitely enjoyed it more than you

(but secretly you took a selfie with you kissing his shoulder and made it your lock screen because awh <3)

when you kiss him anywhere near his neck or collar bones he squeals about how much it tickles and starts giggling again T-T

mf is lucky you’re too short to reach his neck on a daily basis 😒

though one thing niki takes very seriously (not really) is when other people tease you

esPECIALLY for your height because he claims that it’s his job only (you were like. wow thanks babe 😐😐)

he won’t get mAd since he knows it’s all jokes, especially if it’s someone you’re both friends with..

he’ll just make fun of them right back <3

“hey y/n, how do short people greet others?”

as soon as sunghoon of all people opened his mouth you knew something bad was about to happen

“they microwave!!!!”

he was the only one laughing

except sunoo giggling in the corner ofc

riki sighed, quickly coming to your defense, “hyung, if the only person laughing at your jokes is sunoo that’s saying something”

sunoo gasped in the background, “what does that mean!?”

“nuh uh, sunoo just isn’t boring like you guys,” he replies sassily, “and you make fun of y/n all the time!”

“and? i’m her boyfriend it’s different”

you’re just 🧌

there was also one time you were at the the amusement park with jungwon and riki

yes won was third wheeling

but the red haired boy seemed to be having a great time either way

he saw you and niki holding hands and was like “aw guys! are we holding hands? 😊” then proceeded to push right in between you and take both your hands in his

you just giggled and allowed him to swing your hands up and down

but niki was utterly horrified.

y’know that face he made when he was playing volleyball with sunoo

the absolute NO EMOTION side eye

yeah

he quickly ripped his hand away and continued to walk next to yoU WHO WAS NOW HOLDING HANDS WITH ANOTHER MAN <\3

then won of course was like, “oh look that ride seems fun! but.. i don’t know if y/n will meet the height requirement..”

honestly he probably didn’t even mean it in a teasing way

but niki was already annoyed so he just

“you’re one to talk, hyung. i know damn well you’re wearing insoles right now 😒”

you chuckled and JUNGWON WAS SO EMBARRASSED NOO

“y/n i swear i’m not!! i’m naturally this tall 😞😞”

so

basically as a result of dating riki you’ve earned yourself a personal bodyguard who will always defend you whenever you’re being teased

bUt at the same time he’ll make sure to do all the teasing for them <3!

if you enjoy this series, please lmk! reblogs n’ comments are very appreciated <3

© delcakoo on tumblr. all rights reserved. do not rewrite, cross-post, translate, copy, etc.

perm taglist: @duolingofanaccount @strawberry-sunset-skies @scented-morker @koshinene @boowoowho @sultrybaby @yunjinlvrr @lov3niki @yujiecho @monstaxdirtywonk @dekusgirl @l1lac-dreamer @kodzukii @yjjungwon @miou45 @rosie-is-everywhere

[iikkeee]

The boys characters reaction when you bring a stray cat home

Includes- Homelander, Black Noir, Hughie Campbell, Billy Butcher

Warnings: none, all fluff <3

A/n: I was just randomly thinking about this and had to write it, if anyone wants to request more “the boys” content then feel free to message me!!!

_________________________________________________

Homelander

When you found a little ginger cat on the street crying for help you couldn’t help but grab it, you quickly brought it home and got all the necessary items to take care of him. You were placing the kitty on its bed when you heard the whoosh of John’s cape. “Honey, I’m home” he yells from the living room “I’m up here!” You yell from the bedroom, he raises his brow in confusion but heads up the stairs. When he walks into the room he stops moving “John…?” You say concerned as to what he’s thinking. “Huh” is all he could manage to say, he was surprised to say the least. A cat in your house? it was weird, he’s never felt the need to have a pet and he definitely doesn’t want to take care of it. “I just found him and I had to take him home, please let me keep him” you plead with him grabbing his hand in between both of yours, he stays quiet for a moment longer before just sighing “fine” you smiled and gave him a big kiss before going to hug the kitten and bring him towards John “this is your daddy” you said to the kitty while handing it over to him. John immediately tenses up as he holds the small cat in his arms before looking down at kittens small face and giving it a small smile, maybe this wouldn’t be so bad..? He always did want a family and this cat was the closest thing he was going to get a son. You smiled as you looked at the scene in front of you “looks like you like him John” you teased “hmm…maybe” he replied giving you a small smirk as he cuddled the kitten closer.After a while John got used to the cat and would often be seen playing with or trying to teach him weird tricks so he would in John’s words “be a great superhero like his father” whatever that means…. _________________________________________________

Black noir

You whined slightly as you opened a cardboard box to reveal a small black cat, you quickly grabbed it and took it inside. Black noir was sitting at the table and noticed as you hurriedly came inside, he quickly got up to see if you were okay. “Noir look” You say as you hold the kitten to your chest, he looks down and cocks his head to the side. He gently takes the cat from your arms and sits down on the couch “do you want to keep it?” You asked as you sat down next to him, watching him as he sweetly pets it and plays with it. He moved his head to look at you and you smiled knowing his answer. He’s always wanted a pet but didn��t know if he could take care of it properly and this was the perfect opportunity to finally find out. Noir found the kitten so adorable and wants to do everything to protect it, he always tucks the kitty in on your shared bed and feeds him the best treats, the cat loves him and you can often find them together in weird places, you laughed as you saw how the cat would climb on Noir and would plop itself on Noirs shoulder or head. You and Noir would cuddle on the couch as you watched the kitty go crazy over some rat chasing videos. Noir would let the kitten chase him around the house and even bite him if they were both playing, they were extremely close and would play some tricks on you for fun. Overall Noir loved that cat with every fiber of his being. _________________________________________________

Hughie Campbell

When you found a box of kittens you quickly ran inside and placed them down on the table, Frenchie and Kimiko saw your panicked face and ran over “awww!” Frenchie exclaimed while Kimiko had a big smile on her face “What’s going on over here?” Hughie asked as he walked over to your little group, you all moved away from the box making space for him. “Omg” he exclaimed before hurriedly picking up one from inside the box. Hughie always loved animals so once he saw that box he immediately wanted to give them all the love in the world “aren’t they so cute??” You ask as you cuddle one of the kittens close to you “Where did you find them?” He asks as he holds one of them high in the air and gives it kisses “Just outside” you answer as you give one a kiss “must be an early Christmas present” Frenchie exclaims before winking and grabbing two of the kittens for him and Kimiko to hold on the couch. “Oh really this early?” You tease “we need to keep them” Hughie exclaims “all four?” You ask getting close to him “yes, all four” He states before giving you a quick peck “that’s if butcher allows you to keep them” Frenchie says while sighing “who cares what he thinks?” You say as you cuddle the two cats you and hughie have. After a while Butcher got used to the cats and let you keep them, Hughie gives them all cute names that all relate to each other. You can often see the kitty’s cuddled up on his sleeping body after a mission or errand, you always smile at the scene and tuck them all in making sure to give them all goodnight kisses even Hughie. He would treat all the cats equally with how much time he plays with them or the treats that he gives them. He loves to put the cats next to you and watch how you interact with them. _________________________________________________

Billy Butcher

When you found a kitten outside that clung onto you for dear life you had to take her in, you smiled as you held her in your coat and showed her small little figure to Marvin and Frenchie. As soon as you heard the door click you hide her in your jacket, afraid of what Billy would say. He quickly walked inside ignoring you guys on the couch and talking about how he had a fight with some supe before stopping in his track and noticing the guys crowded around you. “Now, now, what the fuck are you guys crowding around for?” He asked before moving towards you and looking down at your coat showing him a glimpse of the kittens fur “would you look at that?” He teased as he crouched down so he was in direct eye contact with the small feline. Billy was never really a cat person especially since he had terror, he didn’t really understand how to take care of one in the first place so when you asked if you could keep the cat he was shocked nonetheless. He never gave you a clear answer and would mumble or grumble whenever you asked, it took him a long time to get used to the kitten and you would often see him and the cat just chilling on the couch together. But whenever you would look away or pretend to not be looking, Butcher petted the cat and gave her ears scratches “you’re such a good girl” he whispered thinking you wouldn’t hear, you would chuckle and he would quickly back away acting like nothing happened “I think you like her billy…” you teased as you cuddled up next to him. “Pft…never” he said sarcastically, making you roll your eyes. He would dress her up in different outfits and would buy her the best treats while still claiming he didn’t like the cat. You would tease him for every time you saw him sharing cute moments with the kitty. Overall he’s like a dad he said they never wanted an animal and end up loving it the most out of anyone. _________________________________________________