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muse-oleum · 15 days ago

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TVD - 3

Elejah - 9, 16

Elena - 2

Elijah - 15

Rebekah - 3

choink u for the ask fwiend :)

FANDOM - TVD

3. ...which scene I would like to erase from the universe and why

Probably anything with Damon because dude is an asshole of grade A+ quality and that's not a compliment, it just means he's a really, really fucked up one. And like sure, yeah, he "changed" or whatever but if you think about it, he never really did: he's still as obsessed with Elena as he was at the beginning, will always believe he knows best what's good for her, will always hover and never believe she can do anything right for herself or even by herself....

BUT since I don't want to waste my breath on him, I think I'm gonna go with the whole idea of having Elena dagger Rebekah in s2 (I think??). Because what I wouldn't have given to have the Epic Trio turn into the Epically Badass Quatuor, my god. It would have been so fun if Rebekah befriended the girls! I'm not even saying like, right away or anything, but if it became genuine and you know, Rebekah could actually have friends, for once. Besides, her becoming besties with the woman her brother killed and her other brother is hopelessly in love with, not to mention the witch who nearly handed said brothers (plural) ass over to them several times and the baby vamp with whom said brother is infatuated with? Chaos. Love it. Give it to me.

SHIP - ELEJAH

9. ...what my ideal endgame for them is

Okay, for this one I kinda need to do some character analysis for Elijah, or at least how I view him within the TVDU. He's probably the most emotionally complex Mikaelson we see, and he's definitely given the most depth. Even though TO was supposed to be all about Klaus' journey as a father blabla, it's actually about Elijah and his fucked up relationship with family, duty and honor; none of which work well together, in his case, and continuously fuck him over.

So, yeah, dude is really hard to nail, as a writer, but even just when it comes to understanding him.

I stand by the idea that he is, at heart, a family man. And I don't just mean because of his devotion to his siblings. It's more complex than that. I think he's always wanted a family, but that was taken from him and then life just kept on happening so he's probably never really had a chance to sit down and think about it. Like, we establish, by TO s4, that Elijah never factored his wants into anything for the past 1000 years and the two times he did, shit went down (i.e.: the Strix in TO s3 and losing Celeste in TO s1).

So, bottom line is: my man is tired. I honestly think his ideal endgame would be death. But not as it was portrayed in this shit show of a finale that we got for TO. Death, but after a life lived in peace, with someone who loves all of him, not just the better parts of him (as Hayley does), with a couple of children running wild, a home in the country... He's not so different from Rebekah in that sense. He just hides it more and he's hidden it so deep that even himself can't find it by the end of TO.

I think what he wants is peace, a peaceful, happy, life and then blissful oblivion after a thousand years of pain. And I think he could definitely get that with Elena, who wants the same thing and always has. Unfortunately, the Salvatores arrived in town before the Originals did and boom, no peace. Not saying that the Originals are any better, they're basically trouble magnets, but I think their endgame would have been a hell of a lot better than the one we got, if they had ended up together and somehow been able to return to humanity.

16. ...three of my fic recs for this ship. And (in the event that I've written something for them) one of my fics involving them that I'm most proud of

I could probably write an essay with how many fics I've read but here's my current top 3:

She's Come Undone and Set Free by Terapsina (@terapsina) - Top Tier Elejah pining, 100% recommend, bonus for Elijah going into Protective!Boyfriend mode on the Salvatore idiots, Rebekah and Bonnie being the unspoken moms of the entire group because someone needs to

We Remain by AnonymousObsesser (@ao-anonymousobsesser) -Fucking obsessed with this one, extremely good deep dive into Elijah and Elena as independent individuals but also as a couple, Rebekah being the snarky little bitch that she is, Klaus being Klaus, it has everything

A Year to Eternity? by MissNMikaelson (@missnmikaelson) - Dad!Elijah but with plot, 10/10 fluff moments, Fix-It after the sheer disaster that was TO 5X13, I reread this one at least twice a year when I need my fluff fix

And mine: Always & Forever in which Elena goes to New Orleans to escape the chaos of Mystic Falls

CHARACTERS

Elena

2. ...how I would have chosen to change their story from canon

I mean, I've already touched on that a little bit but the short answer is: so many things.

First of all, the whole falling in love with Stefan wouldn't have happened. Because it's creepy and I can't believe I didn't find it weird asf when I first watched TVD as a teen but hey, hindsight and a fully developed adult brain will do that. So she would have still found out about the supernatural because there's just no way she wouldn't, but I would have rather focused on her already existing relationships, like, you know, her friends??? I would have everything revolve around the Mystic Falls Girl Gang (and Jenna, because I love Jenna and I hate that she died) until Klaus and Elijah roll into town.

Then, as you can probably guess, I would definitely have her end up with Elijah, but not for a while because I'm a sucker for slow burn and because it would make sense for them to take time. She'd have to grow up first, become a fully fledged adult for her to even consider a 1000 years old dude as a potential boyfriend/husband material and dude has got issues.

There's actually a (sadly) on hiatus fanfic that dabbles into that, and it's really well written and I hope that one day the author will pick it up again because it's really intriguing: blame it on stardust by allwritenow.

Elijah

15. ...what I think their role in the story is versus what I think it should be

I pretty much enjoy his role in the TVD/TO storylines, tbh. It's flawed, and toxic, and borderline obsessive, but it fits him and makes him really compelling as a character. I mean, that's why he's so popular; there's depth to that man.

His role as the Mikaelson protector, I get behind 100% because these idiots need him. Now, has he been the best? Nope. I mean, look at Kol and Finn's storylines. Do I think he favors Klaus and Rebekah? Absolutely. But again, it kinda fits because I think he sees Kol and Finn as threats, and Marcel too, to a lesser extent, given their history of trying to blow up the family. Is it fucked up? 100%.

His role as the patriarch? Also fits, whatever Klaus has to say about it, we all know Elijah calls the shots (whenever he's not in a coffin somewhere with a dagger in his chest, that is.)

His role as family executioner and villain that we see emerge in TO s3-4? I hate it, but I also see it. I hate that I see it but, again, it fits. My man has been through the trenches by this point. The red door storyline fucked him up bad, he's lost what he always believed defined him (honor and compassion), his family is intent on ruining themselves 24/7, which makes his decision to just... forget about them in TO s5 absolutely believable. And I actually loved early s5 Elijah, which I know is a massively unpopular opinion. I never liked him with Hayley and with Antoinette we got to see a side of him that we barely saw before, closer to whom he might have been as a human.

So, in short, I despise his ending and I refuse to acknowledge it but what I will acknowledge is that his storyline makes sense and is, in the larger sense, fairly accurate to the man we first met in TVD.

Rebekah

3. ...if I have an OTP for them

Honestly, unless a ship burns itself on my cerebral membrane right away, then I'm pretty much game for anything. So for Rebekah, because I pretty much hated every single one of her love interests (except for Matt, because Matt is a sweetheart and Marcel is alright i guess, just not for her), I don't really care. I do have a soft spot for Bonbekah, though, I think those would actually work well together.

.... and no it has nothing to do with the fact that I think all three of the Mystic Fall Gang girlies saying fuck it all and moving to NOLA with the Originals would be epic.

I do also kinda like her with Hayley??? Idk, I think in TO they had some chemistry (more than Hayley and Elijah, at any rate). Mainly, because all the men in Rebekah's life have been downers, including her own brothers, at some point in her story and for various reasons, I just see her ending up with a woman more than a man. She also has that ✨ bisexual ✨ energy.

#i don't think i've ever yapped so much on here before jesus #thanks for asking!#ask game #inbox: check #the originals #tvd #tvdu #tvd universe #elijah mikaelson #elena gilbert #klaus mikaelson #the vampire diaries #rebekah mikaelson #elejah

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ivomartins · 5 months ago

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helloo omg it's vivi i just noticed that you answered the asks (while scrolling through hsr tag i need the update so bad i can't live like this)

dogging on hs is a full time job and we're employees of the month 🤞 ntm on hs tho bc i will end up playing hs3 if it's ever released bc i need to see my li happy.

im new to rc so i can't say much about the writers but i think what you said does make a lot of sense. when new characters were introduced in hs2 it had the same tone as hs1. i would say there was a slight improvement bc astaroth and hunger were 10x more interesting than hs1 characters but the dialogue and their way of speaking was the same as hs1. like how do you pride yourself on being soo much better than mortals and speak exactly like them? why are you, as lucifer, speaking like a frat boy? make it make sense.

anyway, as opposed to hs, the immortals are actually different from mortals. lane noticing the lack of human warmth and emotions on cains face, despite how serene and aristocratic he looks right off the bat immediately showed us that they're not easily understood and they operate differently than humans. and the dialogue flows so much more naturally in hsr and different characters have their own distinguished way of speaking. (interesting that cain sometimes speaks so formally like during the church scene, but at other times uses mortal slang. just how long has he been roaming around earth?)

tbh now that ive analyzed the flying scene, he does seem somewhat sincere and like you said, they're both only looking out for themselves so they have a sense of kinship. (also love that lane is so unbothered about saving humanity or whatever and specifically said shes only going to translate what she needs... im obsessed with her)

but is it insane of me to hope that he's just being nice for the sake of using her? ive been ranting to everyone who would listen about how much i adore the church scene, it was the exact balance of unsettling and sensual, psychedelic and dreamlike. it had so much tension and i loved how cain was portrayed in it. but he's being suspiciously sweet and protective of her, cute, but i miss the tension 😭 he and lane are some of the most interesting characters ive seen in a while and id hate for them to lose everything that makes them unique to a generic romance so early.

what about your theories on how they could've known each other earlier? and what do you think about cain's past?

not this entire ass essay 😭 i love a good religious horror media what can i say. since ur just as obsessed w hsr as i am it's fun talking to you but this is a lot to think ab and reply to pls take ur time 😭💓

(ps to answer what you asked about choices, i haven't touched it since i got back into rc 🤞)

we truly are the pioneers of hs shit talk and i love this for us <3

i chuckled at your comment about lucifer talking like a frat boy because why is that so fucking true 😭

it really is just in the book's nature i think because if you look at the massive growth of alice's writing between hs1 and hs2, it's wild how the writing for hs2 still isn't that much better except in certain areas (hunger is masterfully written, for example, and the emo vibe was captured pretty well too since alice is an angst grandmaster)

like heaven's secret is simply, intrinsically, a haphazard low-quality story - because that was the foundation in hs1 and so it's only natural hs2 and hs3 will be the same. and i'm not hating on it when i say that because i definitely get why some people love it but as someone who's a bit of a snob and doesn't like harry potter vibe stories, it's just not for me

i'm living for your thoughts and analysis of hs:r though omg i didn't catch on to cain's manner of speech swinging between formal and informal, that's so interesting?? but YES overall i'm also hoping that we'll get more of the intensity we got with the church scene and that the dark undertone to their dynamic will prove to be an actual Theme and not just a one-off thing. i would actually GRIEVE if cain's route devolved into basic lovey dovey shit 😭

have you checked out dmitry's scenes? what did you think of them? 👀

when it comes to cain's past and his history with lane, i... have no clue tbh like that's just how good the suspense is. generally i'm expecting cain to be somehow tied to the event/entity/power that caused lane's memory gap because her dreams are clearly very significant and she dreams of him at the start of the book + that could be the reason why she got so woozy in the church scene instead of him seducing her with his power, because of whatever tie that binds them through that. but we know so little about him and his motivations that it's hard for me to theorize anything about his past. i adore pre-established dynamics though so i honestly think we're in for some juicy shit regardless of our theories. i can't wait!!!

shut up i lived for your essay and gave you one of my own pls 😭♥️ you're totally good!! i'm having just as much fun chatting with you angel <3

i haven't touched choices since the nanny affair 😭 though i do miss the good OG books sometimes ngl like open heart s1 remains ICONIC and forever in my heart and also the werewolf book uhh i forgot its name but it was sooo goood. there's not even a comparison with rc though whew it was such a huge upgrade for me especially since i started off with arcanum of all books - truly could not put it down

#romance club #heaven's secret #shut up jen #conversations #pretty sure we're in a discord server together?? which makes it rlly funny that we're still talking via asks #so cute of us <3 #kisses to you vivi 💕

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radiation · 7 months ago

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did you play any game(s) recently that you enjoyed? not just wondering about rpg games but i saw the rpg games post and am excited to look at some of the suggestions on that one myself.

I played Content Warning w some of my friends and it was dope. Love to be a funny guy with a T_T face and make funny ass videos not much more to say than that. Played The Midnight Scenes - From The Woods and had a good time with it, its a short horror game and its got the rare quality where like. I felt they somewhat dropped the ball on the story & the horror aspect but the character writing was so incredibly charming that it made up for it.

Also just finished watching my buddy play through Mother 3 and I liked it toooooo although you may be surprised to hear it wasnt quite my thing. Not what was asked but Im gonna expand on some of my thoughts about it here cuz why not

With how unbelievably obsessed I was with Earthbound as a kid, I was hoping Mother 3 would stir up the same kinda love and become an all time favorite game of mine but unfortunately it did not. I think I prefer Earthbound to Mother 3 the same way that I preferred Anodyne 1 to Anodyne 2 where it's like. If you're iterating on a formula in the pursuit of a more cohesive and serious story throughout the entire game, then you have to REALLY commit and REALLY succeed for me to be on board because otherwise I'll nitpick like hell. And I felt like in some ways, for the story Mother 3 was trying to tell, it was a bit noncommittal, with some parts going on for a bit too long, some locations having a bit too little thought put into them, some sections not quite as Committed to the Bit as I'd like them to be or not quite as dark as they could be, some characters lacking just enough development for me to really feel it. All of these things culminating in me lacking immersion in the game's world. I think I'm likely to be a lot more charitable towards games like Earthbound w less of a story focus and more random ass funny ass shit going on even if the gameplay is kinda ass, cuz lighthearted playfulness colors flaws with a certain amount of charm and flavor rather than directly detracting from the experience. Exception to this is I prefer Deltarune to Undertale because Deltarune's writing kicks so much ass that it completely sidesteps all of the issues I tend to have. Anyways Mother 3 is still very very good but Im dat crazy ass narrative / characterization guy so I can be hard to please

#Will post my thoughts on the rpgmaker games once I get to them !

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galvanizedfriend · 7 months ago

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YOKAN DEAR!!! MY FAV FIC WRITER IN THE WORLD!!!💗💞💝

Just completed reading Chapter 1 of TW4. Oh God the writer you🫠. You are a BLESSING to Klaroline FD Honey 🤌.

I felt a whole lot of emotions flowing through me while reading this chapter ❤️‍🩹

Firstly, Caroline Forbes is born to be a badass Queen 👑 and You my friend made sure we see this queens actions and determination to get back her family and her King through your excellent writing.

I really loved the interaction between the amazing mom-daughter duo 🥺 Eve my love is such a mixture of her Father and Mother. (Will she also have traits of her uncle and aunt 🤔)

Secondly, The way you write Klaus. Yeah he is such an arrogant ass even being a prisoner. But I love that idiot for these qualities 🫠 ( Stupid me🤧)

I was tearing up when he asked Vincent about his Caroline 😭 ( My babies are missing each other so bad❤️‍🩹😭)

Finally, my guilty pleasure, Caroline and Elijah reunion🤧🥹. Oh how much I missed them both.

I have to give it to you, I don't know why but after Klaroline I crave for Care- Elijah scenes ( You made me become so addictive to their dynamic by your perfect writing 😅🥺)

Now I am really waiting for the reunion of My babies 🤧 They have been away from each other for far too long (which they don't deserve). And also for Klaus to meet his Little wolf after 5 long years (Oh the Dad-Daughter Reunion 🤧😭).

Thank you for being this amazing writer and person you are Honey 💞. Always remember there are so many people out there like me who really love you for blessing us with your phenomenal writing skills 💐💝.

Lots of love and motivation to you. (Can I get the next chapter now, pretty please 🥹)

Stay Happy 😁 Stay Blessed 😇 Stay Motivated 💜 Love you 🫰🫶

Omg, this is so nice! 🥹 I wasn't ready to find this in my inbox. 😭

Chapters where I objctively don't have Klaus and Caroline interacting always make me double nervous. I'm a naturally anxious, obsessive person, but this really gets to me. It doesn't happen very often, but there were a couple throughout the story and this is another one. Even when they're together in a scene, I still try to make a point of making the whole thing always about them somehow (because who are we kidding, this is the sole reason I'm writing this), but I never know how successful it will turn out until I post it. I used to have a test audience, but I don't anymore so it's always a surprise. 😂 So reactions like this really make my day and help make me more confident going forward. 🥹

And thank you for bringing up Klaus actually. 😂 I had a lot more fun writing him being a level A little shit while imprisoned than I should. I especially made that whole scene with Alistair a lot more dramatic than it was. Klaus didn't kill half the people or said half the things he did there on the show. lol He went in a completely primal derangement state there and I really liked writing that part. So I'm especially glad that you enjoyed it!

And then of course we went from that to him asking Vincent about Caroline, so. 🥲 From 100 to 0 in a second. 👌

Thank you so, so much for your incredibly kind and lovely words. 🥹 Have a lovely weekend!

#yokan answers #my-mystic-world #nice people being nice

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wowifinallywatched · 11 months ago

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Listen...this is not my official more coherent thoughts around the Jigsaw installment of the fucking incredible Saw franchise that i normally like to post first but if you've ever wondered what it's like to watch a movie with me and my internal monologue well LOOK NO FURTHER

Coherent thoughts will be coming soon, but for now enjoy a raw reaction to whatever the FUCK THIS WAS I JUST FINISHED WATCHING AND I AKSBFKABF I JUST NEED TO SHARE THIS FEELING WITH SOMEONE HOLY FUCK-

JIGSAW

Listen if you're gonna be bringing this iconic and amazing as fuck series back it better be Fucking at the same level

Ah yes your standard creepy detective who makes sexist jokes like they get paid for it and no one does anything about it because “it's just who they are” and it's one of the bad qualities you have to adopt in about this person uh yeah no FUCK THA-

Okay I'm sorry I'm fucking sorry 39:33??!?!?!?!?!? FUCKING GOLD BEAUTIFUL STUNNING THAT WAS EVERYTHING IVE WANTED LISTEN I KNOW TRUST THE PROCESS OF THESE MOVIES DONT JUDGE TOO SOON BUT FUCK ME THAT WAS GOOD AND I WAS STILL TEETERING Listen I miss John okay-

WHAT THE FUCK IS GONNA HAPPEN IS HE GONNA COME BACK FROM THE DEAD OR IS THIS REALLY SMART AJBRIAHE Fucking skin suit or secret child ass akdbia

Eleanor DYING WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT Like i can judge this would totally be me as well BEAUTIFUL??? OKAY BITCH NOW I THINK YOU'RE CRAZY

OH MY GOD SHOW ME WHO THE FUCK POISENED YOUR SIPPY CUP BAG MOTHERFUCKER I AM LOSING MY SHIT NOT KNOWING IF JOHN REALLY IS ALIVE OR NOT FUChis

“He was my nephew” Oh my god he was his nephew I'm sorry I had to-

BRKJZISHWJBEJAHSIWBWIHSIS MOTHERFUCKING SAW MY FUCKING GOD YOU'VE DONE IT AGAIN WJDBQJ PUTTING HIM IN JOHNS CASKET HAHAHHA HOW THE FUCK DID THEY DO THAT QUIETLY OH MY GOD I LOVE THESE MOVIES SO MUCH THEY'RE ALWAYS ONE STEP AHEAD AND JUST AJDBSIHDJW OBSESSED I CANNOT OH MY GOD I LOVE IT ONE OF MY FAVOURITE SCENES IN MY BRAIN IT WAS EITHER GONNA BE TWO OPTIONS, JOHN WAS GONNA BE THERE OR HE WASN'T BUT JUST IN SAW STYLE, A SURPRISE THIRD OPTION HAS APPEARED HAHAHAH Its like when you watch these movies, you're thinking so hard about one part of it (where the fuck is John) that you become completely oblivious to other options (surprise Mr. Coma has appeared) ALSO I WORK IN THE FUNERAL INDUSTRY AND THERE IS STRICT LAW THAT YOU CANNOT OPEN UP A COFFIN INSIDE THE CEMETERY SO H A

I'm trying to bring logic into these movies when I just watched a man get turned into a human milkshake

But this also means that someone could have taken John's body and has been using his DNA But would the tests come back saying the DNA is dead or alive? Like someone purposely put his DNA under the guys nails to throw them off who's really playing these games I wonder if it's the OG Dr. saw bathroom who's running the show If John really is alive that would be fucking perfect This psycho mortuary girl better not have dug up John himself to fulfill her obsession I SWEAR- OH MY GOD SHE HAS THE OG SAW STOPPPP HAHAHAHAH Wait wait NO NO NO THIS IS A SET UP I SWEAR OH MY GOD THE DETECTIVE

everyone's like “oh copy cats copy cats” but it's actually the fucking detectives that study these cases of jigsaw everyone calm your tips MY TITS ARE NOT CALM WHERE IS THE DAUGHTER NO IM NOT FUCKING AROUND WHERE IS HIS DAUGHTER I SWEAR

Oh my god I hear remnants of the saw music as they drive off from the house 🥺 LITTLE PIGGY IS STILL IN PLAY LES GOOOO Everytime I see VAIDUWOFJKSHEIEHDIJWKDNWKJFKSBEKNWKDJEKDBOSBRKANJDHSID JOHN JOHN SOBDJSBDIAHDIHA I JUST CHOKED ON MY CEREAL OH MY FUCKING GOD JOHN MY JIGGY SAWWY MAN IM GONNA CRY HOLY FUCK IVE MISSED YOU NSKFBSJS HOW THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK YOU WERE IN A FUCKING MORTUARY WHAT IN THE EVER LOVING FUCK NO I DO NOT TRUST WHAT I SEE ARE YOU A TWIN BROTHER OR SOME SHIT I AM LOSING MY MIND WHAT IN THE ACTUAL FUCK DID THEY REPLACE YOUR BODY BUT THE TEST SUBJECTS WOULD HAVE COME BACK IS THIS A HALLUCINATION HOLY SHIT I AM ABOUT TO BREAK THIS FUCKING TABLE HOLY FUCKING SHIT My boy you look like you've aged so much Oh my god that misdiagnosis hit way too close to home alright I am John number one protector BUT HOW THE FUCK IS HE ALIVE BECAUSE THE TUMOUR AND THE SKABKFJA John baby listen i love you so much and I love the game you've got going on and you give the best monologue but HOW THE FUCK ARE YOU ALIVE

Listen surely those jigsaw pieces are a set up because surely not even the most dumbass of cops would keep that in their fucking FREEZER HAHAHAH

I am absolutely fucked I trust none of you bitches except daddy mortuary

AWWWWWWWWW MEANING BEHIND THE PIG HEAD MENTIONED SO CASUALLY THAT IS SO CUTE JOHN

John is so fucking extra he has all these props and then uses a single shotgun

This is more trying to pick who Johns new apprentice is and i don't like any of them

GIRL WHY WOULD YOU WEAR BOOT HEELS TO THIS SCAVENGER HUNT

Listen John sliding the door to people's eternal doom just hits different okay

BACKWARDS OH MY FUCKING GOD JOHN YOU ARE SO SMART It’s literally been the EXACT SAME ALL THESE YEARS PLAY BY THE RULES HE NEVER SAID YOU HAD TO SHOOT EACH OTHER FOR YOUR FREEDOM THAT WAS NOT A RULE HE SET IN PLACE HAHAHAHAH I LOVE THIS AND I WAS CLAIMING HE WAS USING A SIMPLE ASS SHOTGUN OF COURSE IT WASN'T JUST A SHOTGUN I KNOW BETTER THAN THIS

DADDY MORTUARY WAS THE DOCTOR THAT FUCKED UP HIS TEST RESULTS OH MY FUCKING GOD YOU ABSOLUTE LAZY DICKWAD OF A MAN YOU ARE DOOMED HAHAH

Wait what the fuck this is sus whats happening ABDKJSJEBWJDHIWVDJHS I THOUGHT HIS BODY WAS JUST ROLLING AT FIRST WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING NO NO WAY DADDY MORTUARY IS JOHNS NEW APPRENTICE DETECTIVE YOU AND ME ARE THE SAME WAIT WHAT DO YOU MEAN I AM HIM NO YOU WERE THE ONE I TRUSTED NO FUCKING WAY THE ONLY ONE I TRUSTED TURNED OUT TO BE THE MAN BEHIND IT ALL HAHAHAHAH FUCK WHY DOES THIS ALWAYS HAPPEN FUYCJA FUCKABAFSIABKFJBKAF HOLY FUCKING SHIT THAT IS HOLY FUCK LISTEN I STARTED TO DOUBT THIS ONE THEN I TOLD MYSELF DON’T DO THAT BECAUSE IT’S WHAT HAPPENS EVERY TIME I ALWAYS THINK THEY’RE NOT AS GOOD AS THE PREVIOUS ONE BECAUSE YOU HAVEN’T REACHED THAT CLIMATIC PLOT TWIST THAT PULLS ALL THE PIECES TOGETHER AND THEN YOU REACH IT AND YOU THINK HOLY FUCKING SHIT THE FUCKING PAST AND PRESENT PLAY THAT THIS SERIES IS SO GOOD AT

OH MY GOD I GOT SO EXCITED THINKING MY BABY JIGGY SAWWY MAN WAS ALIVE BUT NOPE IT WAS JUST THE PAST GAMES SOBS AND IT’S SO FUNNY BECAUSE NOW IF YOU REWATCHED THIS MOVIE YOU’D SEE ALL THE SIGNS POINTING TO THE TRUTH You just have to follow the rules You just have to follow the signs pointed in the direction of the movie plot OH FUCK ME MOVIE GO FUCK YOURSELF WITH YOUR CLEVER WAYS Think about it if you really listened to this movie, it’s literally telling you exactly what’s going to take place Oh fuck me HAHAHAHAH I NEED TO REWATCH ALL THESE MOVIES NOW WITH THAT MINDSET THIS HAS MIND FUCKED ME I CAN’T BELIEVE IT THE FACT WE WERE WATCHING THE OG GAME WITH THE DADDY MORTUARY BUT SIKE IT WAS TEN YEARS AGO

Not gonna lie Daddy Mortuary was kind of hot Jesus I need to learn his real name I'm sure someone said it I was just blinded by his good looks-

I AM LOSING MY MARBLES I LITERALLY CONTINUE DO ANYTHING ELSE RIGHT NOW HAHAHA LIKE HOLY FUCK HOLY FUCKING SHIT THAT MOMENT WHEN HE STARTED GETTING UP LOST IT GAVE ME FEELINGS BACK TO THE FIRST SAW MOVIE WHERE JOHN SLOWLY GOT UP AND REVEALED HIMSELF Oh my god Daddy Mortuary was the son John never got to have *GROSS SOBBING IN THE CORNER*

AND SLIDING THE DOOR SHUT JUST LIKE JOHN LIKE JIGGY SAWY FATHER LIKE JIGGY SAWY SON SO THIS GAME HAPPENED FUCKING YONKS AND WOULD HAVE ALREADY HAPPENED BEFORE AMANDA AND BEFORE WHATEVER THE FUCK DETECTIVE FACE WAS I ALREADY DON'T REMEMBER HIS NAME I just can't I can't believe they still gave us John Kramer content while he's still fucking dead that was so fucking clever You can't have a saw movie without the original Jigsaw in it and they fucking keep it alive in a smart way, not forced, but smart WAIT DADDY MORTUARY WHAT IN THE EVER LOVING FUCK DID YOU DO WITH JOHNS BODY I GET IT THE GAMES HAPPENED TEN YEARS AGO AND SUCH BUT WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO WITH JOHNS BODY DID HE MOVE A WHOLE ASS CASKET AND REPLACE HIS CASKET WITH ANOTHER actually he works in a mortuary he would have the skills to do that HAHAHAHAH FUCKKKKKKK Listen this movie literally gave us John content, fucking ecstatic about it, then showed it was past John and that he's not really here right now

BUT THEY LEFT THE FUCKING DOOR WIDE OPEN FOR JOHN TO STILL BE ALIVE BY HIM NOT BEING IN THAT CASKET AND I KNOW ITS PROBABLY MORE A “They just put the body elsewhere/ replaced his casket” BUT LISTEN LET ME HAVE THIS SMALL OUNCE OF HOPE OKAY

ALSO DID I FUCKING CALL IT OR DID I FUCKING CALL IT ABOUT PUTTING JOHNS DNA UNDER HIS NAILS ON PURPOSE FUCKING CALLED THAT SHIT BITCH AND IM REALLY PROUD BECAUSE I CAN NEVER DO THAT WITH THESE MOVIES FUCK YES GO TEAM 1 FOR US 16 MILLION FOR THE MOVIE OKAY LET ME HAVE THIS ONE- Not me going on about how old John looks and it's literally exactly how he looks in all the other movies HAHAHAHAHAH

OH MY GOD IN THAT SCENE WITH JOHNS NEIGHBOUR AND LEG-O-LOSS I THOUGHT NEIGHBOUR WAS IN SHOCK (of course we find out because she was his neighbor) BECAUSE JOHN WAS SUPPOSED TO BE DEAD BUT IT WAS ONLY BECAUSE THEY WERE NEIGHBOURS NO ONE EVER BATTED AN EYE OR SAID BUT JIGSAW IS DEAD BUT JOHN KRAMER IS DEAD OH MY GODDDDD ANOTHER FUCKING SIGN TO JUST PAY ATTENTION TO THAT'S BEING SAID AND IT WAS REVEAL THE WHOLE MOVIE TO YOU

Just oh my God okay I need to lay this out Daddy Mortuary- Okay no let me find his real name Also poor fucking Eleanor she really was just a Saw fanatic and now she's wrapped up in something she doesn't even realise IF ONLY SHE KNEW BECAUSE SHE WOULD BE LOVING HER OWN STORY RIGHT NOW LOGAN HIS NAME IS LOGAN Alright so Logan fucked up John's test results by mislabelling (the poor other fucking dude that got those results) which i feel like was a bit of an add on instead of reveal WAIT BUT IF THIS GAME HAPPENED BEFORE THE OTHER GAMES IN THE OTHER MOVIES Oh my fuck then he would have no reason to mention it in any of his past monologues because he already faced the man that did it and seeked his ‘revenge’ OH MY GOD OKAY REDEEMED THAT WAS THE ONLY THING I HAD TO COMPLAIN ABOUT BUT HE'S BEEN REDEEMED CARRY ON So John sets up one of his classic games, with the machine that was “never used” or they never found the bodies for OH MY GOD LOGAN GAVE HER THE ANSWER. LITERALLY JUST TOLD HER. BECAUSE HE FUCKING KNEW. HE WAS APART OF THAT GAME. HE WOULD HAVE RECOGNISED THE MACHINE STRAIGHT AWAY. HE LITERALLY TOLD HER BUT OF COURSE YOU WOULD NEVER SUSPECT IT TO BE ANYTHING BUT AN ACCUSATION HAHAHAH SHITTTTT I keep trying to write this out calmly and then get really Hyped up forgive me- The game begins with everyone having their sins AND YOU KNOW WHAT I THOUGHT IT WAS SO WEIRD THE GAME STARTED WITH SOMEONE STILL UNCONSCIOUS, IT FELT VERY UNLIKE JOHN BECAUSE HE'S ALL ABOUT HAVING A FAIR CHANCE TO REDEEM YOURSELF and when we finally got to see the result of that scene where John is racing out to save him because it was an unfair start and he wanted to personally give him a second chance IM NOT CRYING YOU'RE CRYING- I wonder how far apart these events were to the previous movie

ANYWAY

My brain isn’t working i literally can't stop thinking about John being a protective father to him John takes him under his wing seeing his pain, seeing his grief and to teach him its not about anger AND LOGAN TEACHING JOHN SOME THINGS TOO SOBS listen, John is the most forgiving person IT DOESN'T LOOK LIKE IT I KNOW WE HAVE LIKE 8 MOVIES TO SAY OTHERWISE BUT LET ME EXPLAIN- HE GIVES THEM A CHANCE TO CONFESS AND THEN BE FREE HE'S ONLY PUNISHING THEM BECAUSE THEY WON'T CONFESS THEMSELVES NOT BECAUSE HE'S MAD Oh my god i really am protecting a serial killer BUT HEY IT'S FICTIONAL And it is fucking wild to me that no one ever found these bodies (JUST LIKE MY BOY ADAM SOBS) and so Logan planned and waited until the perfect moment to fuck with the world Except there's one thing different from John to the other people that have tried to take his place John gives them a fair game, just play by the rules Amanda, Detective Douche, Logan - They all seemed revenge. They gave them a game, but it wasn't always fair, it wasn't always a game that could be won. Oh wait but Detective banana peel ass didn't exactly confess to freeing Logans wife's murderer so he didn't play the game right OKAY THAT WOULD BE VALID THEN It's just crazy to me that a game happened in real time and we technically got to see exactly what it would have looked like but we never saw the actual game

AND OF COURSE LOGAN CHOSE A GUY THAT DOOMED HIS WIFE'S DEATH AS THE GUY TO GET NO CHANCE FOR REDEMPTION TO REPLICATE HIS OWN EXPERIENCE HAHAHAH LOVE THAT

This was so fucking clever and i never want to stop talking about these movies oh my god

BUT OH MY GOD THE DETECTIVES FUCKING HEAD GETTING SPLICED LIKE A FUCKING BANANA PEEL I CANT- THAT WAS FUCKING BEAUTIFUL HORRIFYING AND DISGUSTING BUT SO FLUID AND BEAUTIFUL I cannot wait to watch the new movie and see the graphics All things considered theyve really done these movies justice all through the years Like I'm so fucking happy with the ending of this movie And I fucking adore that we got to see John again But I'm not gonna lie my heart is a little broken he's not actually alive and well- I KNOW WE LITERALLY SAW HIM GET AUTOPSIED wait Was Logan the one to do his autopsy I remember he mentioned something about John being full autopsied but I don't remember if he meant he did it himself WAIT ITS ALWAYS BEEN THE SAME MORTUARY HAND TO DO THE SAW AUTOPSIES HASN'T IT OH MY FUCKING GOD SO HE KNEW THE PLAN ALL ALONG HE FUCKING KNEW OH MY GOD I AM EMOTIONAL-

Now I need to go back and watch the other movies again, for many reasons, but to see if it was Logan all along

I JUST READ MY NOTES WHILE WATCHING PREVIOUS SAW MOVIES AND I MADE A COMMENT ABOUT HOW SUS IT IS THAT THERE’S BEEN ONE CONSISTENT MORTUARY HAND LOOKING AFTER THE SAW VICTIMS HAHAHAH CALLED IT (possibly)

God I don’t drink but right now I feel like I need a drink

ONTO THE NEXT ONE WHERE YOU REALLY CAN’T PREDICT WHAT WE’LL EVER GET AKSBFKBF

#I didn't realise how comforting and how much I love John until I got him back only for him to be ripped away again #fuck these saw movies boggle me and I'm obsessed with it #jigsaw #jigsaw apprentices #saw memes #just saw thoughts #saw franchise #sawposting #saw films #just saw things #saw movies #billy the puppet #john kramer #logan nelson

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azumasoroshi · 2 years ago

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i have no idea what episode this is part 2

part 2 of this post i think?? tbh i found the clip in some random youtube video i have no idea if this takes place directly after or not and im just judging based on the time of day/setting

(i actually did search through like. the last few episodes of season 1 and the first few episodes of shou and i couldnt find shit so i'm assuming that this episode happened in one of the places i didnt check. not for lack of trying but because the website i was using straight up died on the spot trying to load them all so quickly)

(edit: it's episode 16 of durarara season 1 ty @/pineapplething)

this screenshot is killing me actually. i had to pause instead of doing the 0.25 speed thing because i need his hands to be on his hips so it looks like he's just. staring down at the thing judgingly. izaya's pose is so funny because right before that he's like

'what the fuck are you doing shizu-chan'

i forget the context of this scene too but like. why wasnt he pointing the knife at shizuo?? what were they doing. bro i love not having ANY context whatsoever and being too lazy to look up the actual episode

anyway babygirl looks so ugly in those shots god bless

bro why you arching your back like that 🤨

in front of izaya too. god

the way they have four separate reaction shots for izaya. bro the things that must've been going on through his head were NOT safe for work on god.

the way he says 'seriously' and then remembers to point the knife like bro had to take a second. he was processing. he almost looks enamored in that first shot actually (<- delusional)

izaya's rectangle prism ass never ceases to amaze. glad he keeps that in both art styles

shizuo looks so funny from this angle i bet you could get the most unhinged smear frames every time he goes rage mode

can we get like an angry shizuo aesthetic moodboard except it's all either low quality or smear frames. it'd be really funny trust

also incredible how shizuo can extend the length of the guard rail to like. twice its size. it was not that big in the previous images. i wonder if that's a metaphor for something

god these SUCKED to get pictures of because celty comes in so fast and there's no indication of when the frames will switch but i do it for you (im doing this for me. im obsessed. i have a final on tuesday for the class i have a B in but actually i think it's a D now)

these would probably be much easier to screenshot if i just downloaded the videos but why would i do that when i can press the back arrow key 50 zillion times and listen to the crunchy 0.25 audio explode every time shizuo opens his mouth

this image gets me every time ugh they almost look like they were having a casual conversation or smth (<-delusional)

just. arch enemies both being distracted by something long enough to stop beefing with each other does something to me. i dont even know it doesnt have to be romantic i just like watching it (although it's usually romantic because im a sucker for enemies to/and lovers if you couldnt tell by my usual ships)

that's the end of this scene (or at least the youtube clip of it. you cannot ask me to load all those anime episodes again) but like man. good shit ill be replaying this in my brain for the next week or so

#shizaya #if anyone knows what episode this is...please tell me...im dying #im pretty sure it's sometime in shou and probably near the end but i cant load ittttttt #i need to know what happens after this so i can write a canon divergent fanfic of it where they go home and bang #izaya orihara #shizuo heiwajima #durarara

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sillybigbird · 6 months ago

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Hello,

It's me, the girl who watches superhero productions and gets obsessed with one of their characters. I've recently watched She-hulk. And I liked it, so here's my honest review (With spoilers).

So, most of the chapters of She-hulk were comedic based, and I honestly was looking for a relax after my long periods of homework and classes. And I liked the relaxed production.

Maybe the fighting scenes weren't organic in the first episodes of the show, and that's one of my few complaints about it.

Sure, the CGI it's bad, the could've done better, but I don't think that's the point, since the show is more about Jennifer trying to accept herself and so the show expects you to do too.

I think more of the critiques about the show was about the self exploring journey of Jennifer, and honestly those people who didn't like that part can go to la verga. Because, honestly, as a Woman who has this process of self healing from trauma and insecurities via therapy made feel seen, I identified that part and I gave Marvel and applause for that. No one ever talks about how difficult is the journey in therapy and neither how can be difficult for a Woman to attend those types of problems because are minimised everyday by the society. (That's not a topic I'm gonna deep in) But, thumbs up, everyone needs to go to therapy.

I think they embraced so well what is like to be a Woman en Jennifer shoe's. I mean for a comedy show it's pretty good.

And yes, I have to admit the show gets better after Matt Murdock makes his appearance. Since he appeared all the fight and tribunal scenes felt so dynamic. Motocristo en jesucleta, the debate scene at the the court was fire, the actors have a lot of chemistry between them. And the fighting scenes between them and helping each other were so good. That's how you introduce a 5 minute couple goddamn. And they make you fall in love with Matt as the same time Jen it's. That particularly make me come back from my retirement of "Nowadays marvel sucks, I'm not watching anything new from marvel" just to see the blind man kick some asses and be handsome.

His last scene as daredevil felt a little just put it there because yes. But y'know that show have already given me more than I expected.

Specially at that scene in Marvel studios. Dude, that felt like a pamper, like a truly sincere apology. The way they spoke it so publicly ad how they criticized themselves and immediately gave a more smooth resolution to the show was something I'm gonna be very thankful for the next 3 hours. And after seeing the quality they spend in Loki S2 and X-Men 97 (DCACU fear) it makes me convinced that they fired the dude who were cagándola in the recent productions. And let me tell you something Marvel: I forgive you, you have me back

Thank you for listening

Also

SKAAR?! WHAT THE FUCK.

#marvel #she hulk #disney #disney plus #x men 97 #loki laufeyson

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aoki553 · 9 months ago

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i like makoto too but its... interesting, to say the least, that you feel the need to explain away and justify his actions and treatment of his sister instead of just... discussing them or explaining how you think he is mentally and/or how he can make up for his actions... regardless of his theoretical mental illness and trauma, hes STILL responsible for his own actions, and his sister never deserved to be treated that way.

long post ahead sorry about it

eh i'm trying my best to not justify him. i've just been so attached to the character and he means a lot to me so him being disregarded as a creepy siscon just bothers me yk? and i made my own posts and analysis of his mental illness i suspected... i just try to not correct or confront people about it whenver they do talk about him. that scares me lol

the thing is... he can't make up for his actions? he's a comedic relief siscon character that doesn't get any depth nor character development throughout the series. what could he possibly do to redeem himself without us having to write fanfiction about it? yes, i like to imagine him being a better brother, getting help for his disorder and issues. but that's just my interpretation of a flawed and underwritten character. and a lot of it is influenced by makokuu. but canon doesn't help much here.

he's not great, but he would've had more redeeming qualities if he wasn't a one joke character. i can't really do much about it but make up my own scenarios and stories on how he could be a good brother while acknowledging he's not a great person.

kokomi doesn't deserve to be stalked and makoto being so jealous and protective of her in his disturbed ways. i agree. but some people make him out to be some sort of sexual abuser in this scenario, which he isnt. we see domestic teruhashi siblings only what 3 times? maybe 2 more if we count them going to the movies together and on christmas... id love to see more scenarios of them just being siblings. but no. most of the scenes with him were written to be an exaggerated siscon trope. to be funny...

yes he is responsible for his actions, but he does need help. the help everyone is aware he shouldve gotten long ago before his obsession morphed his perception of whats acceptable for him to do to someone he loves and cares about. but what can we do about it when we never get to see him get better?

but at the same time i simply cannot think of him as the fanon "GUYS HE WANTS TO DO DIRTY STUFF TO HER KILL THAT PERVERT" anymore. despite his nonexisting depth, im doing my best to explore his character as much as i can.

😔 yeah, i apologize for rambling or getting defensive whenever someone gives an opinion on that one boy i have an unhealthy attachment to.

i'm likely this way due to being harassed before back when i had to pretend like i only like a purified version of makoto to not have my safety threatened. i take this stuff too personally sometimes and feel genuinely threatened, apologies. a doxxing attempt over an anime boy and opinions can fuck someone up for years yk? :(

i do love this character dearly and i know i'm getting enough weird looks in the fandom for it, its even worse when my autistic ass can't explain themselves properly, my bad..

hope this long rambling session cleared some stuff up, heres a wholesome terusibs moment <3

#ask #i almost cried writing this sorry #i am not good with being confronted but im doing my best #alex rambles #saiki kusuo no ψ nan #saiki kusuo no psi nan #saiki k #makoto teruhashi #teruhashi makoto

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hoodlessmads · 1 year ago

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Who wants to read a long ass review of FFXVI?

I would give this game a 6/10. Here’s why. (seriously, it's long, I'm warning you)

SPOILERS for late game (I don't spoil the ending but I do mention characters and events through basically the beach scene - if you know you know)

First, I've seen a tendency to dismiss and/or mischaracterize people’s criticisms of FFXVI as them saying “I don’t like that it’s not turn-based” or “it’s not like other Final Fantasies” when that’s not at all what I’m about to say. Those aren’t my issues with the game. At all. So just getting that out of the way. Kingdom Hearts II is one of my favorite games of all time, so I am not at all adverse to this game having action combat. Final Fantasy XII is different from other Final Fantasies too, but that’s in my top 3 FF games, so that’s not my issue either.

To be honest, I haven’t actually seen anyone criticize the game for not being turn-based except in memes, so I can’t help but feel like fans are blowing this particular criticism out of proportion, unless I’m just in the wrong places online. Who is actually saying the game isn’t Final Fantasy because it’s not turn-based? 90% of people seem to love the game.

Moving on.

This is not...professionally written, by the way. I kind of wrote it in one sitting. Also, please try not to take my extreme language too seriously - that's just how I write. praying emoji

Credit where credit is due

The presentation is great – graphics, cinematics, voice acting, cutscenes. Some of the cutscenes in this game and some of the cinematic QTEs were actually insane. Completely bonkers. The game reaches extreme high points with its story and spectacle that had me yelling. I’ve never in my life cared about graphical quality or spectacle, but this game got me, and I think part of it is the way they successfully integrated the story’s most dramatic moments with the grandest spectacle possible gameplay-wise. Virtually all of the big story moments were dope as hell. I hope this integration helps these spectacular moments stand the test of time when they eventually become graphically outdated. (Because they will. Who cares about the FFVII motorcycle chase anymore? But it blew minds back in the day.)

Things I didn’t know I needed in Final Fantasy: Ifrit hanging off a crystal going, “Fuck.”

The combat is pretty good. It could be better, but it’s pretty good. Action combat-wise, it’s a huge improvement from FF15. I didn’t love it, personally, but I enjoyed my time with it sometimes, and would definitely count it among the game’s strong points. I like that you can control Torgal; it added a nice layer to the combat. I did find myself skipping most mob fights, though.

The story, like the combat, could be better, but overall I think it’s pretty solid. My issues have more to do with the execution and storytelling than the core concepts, which I think are really good. There are some really compelling and interesting ideas here. The story feels very “Final Fantasy” in a good way. I enjoyed it for the most part. I had one MAJOR issue with it that I’ll discuss in the negative section of this review but other than that the flaws in the writing, while there (especially the writing of some of the characters and the ending), aren’t huge detractors for me. I hated the moments I call “Game of Thrones bullshit” which is where I felt the GoT posturing got a little too on the nose, but otherwise, I’m a sucker for political storylines and the political machinations and such in this story were some of my favorite moments, along with the epic confrontations, of course.

Some of the characters: I like Joshua, Cid, Mid, and Dion. Joshua....what can I say. I’m obsessed with him? I’m hyperfixated on a character that is trapped in a game which I think is otherwise mediocre, and that sucks.

Overall, I'm actually really frustrated by all the things I like in this game, because similar to the last mainline entry, I feel like Square almost made one of the best games in the series, if not the best. Truly. But they kind of shat the bed instead.

Gameplay negatives

I could nitpick forever, but the main gameplay element that fully ruins this game for me, if I’m being honest, is the fact that there is no permanent party.

You have your dog, and sometimes you have Jill, but for most of the game Clive is alone. The game’s story preaches a lot about bonds with other people and togetherness and how that is humanity’s strength, but the gameplay doesn’t match up with that message at all. The gameplay sends the opposite message: that this is Clive’s sole journey. As a result, a lot of the story’s themes don’t land well. Also, because you are playing alone as Clive for most of the game, the game is pretty much made or broken on how much you like him. For me, I don’t like him. I’ll get more into why in the story negative section. But because I don’t like him, I have a hard time really enjoying my playing experience because I am forced to spend all of my time with him, and only him. This isn’t about not being able to play as other people, though that would be nice. It’s that the other people aren’t even there.

Final Fantasy XV is a broken mess of a game that I did not enjoy, with a messy story, but even that game understood this most basic principle of building a sense of camaraderie with the main character’s friends by having them all in a permanent party together all the way through until the very end of the game. When that game talked about Noctis’s bonds with others being his strength, it landed because of all the time I, as a player, had spent with the party members. I bought that. The game had earned it.

This sort of leads into my other big issue with the game, which is the virtual lack of RPG elements. Even when you do have temporary party members, they are (relatively useless) AI bots that you have no power to affect whatsoever. You can’t even change their equipment. In the menu, the only character is Clive (other than some cute sprites). It makes you feel even more alone in the journey. So there are no party members to outfit – what can you customize? The game’s customization options are limited to picking and choosing which abilities to give to Clive using earned ability points and an extremely bare bones crafting system. As for the abilities, I will admit there is potential to customize your combat based on which Eikon abilities you choose to outfit Clive with. But it pretty much stops there. The itemization and crafting system are utter dog shit. I don’t feel like I need to justify saying that...even fans of this game have to admit how tacked-on that shit is. In addition, there isn’t even something as simple as elemental weaknesses that might be affected by said tacked-on crafting system. This is a game where the story centers around eight Eikons for eight magical elements and yet there is no elemental affinity baked into the gameplay. I have to ask, what the fuck?

Some Zelda fans would probably get mad at me for saying this, but even though Breath of the Wild and Tears of the Kingdom also feature a solo journey without any party members, they legitimately feel more like RPGs than Final Fantasy XVI. Those games have elemental weaknesses and systems that force you to put some thought into your approach to combat, and they have a more worthwhile and involved gear upgrading system. It’s crystal clear that the developers of FF16 put a lot of effort into the presentation, the story and the combat and I applaud those efforts, but it really feels like they put zero effort into ANYTHING else outside of that because there is NOTHING to this game outside of the main story and combat. I would almost rather they hadn’t even bothered to try to pretend this was still an RPG instead of the linear character action thriller it wants to be.

Even in that sense, it’s not particularly outstanding. The combat’s depth is questionable...I would have preferred if you could at least use ability points to, say, modify the base combo, which never changes. Shake it up just a little bit. Instead, the modifications to Clive’s combat as the game goes on come entirely in the form of Eikon abilities that are on timers and you can cycle through them as you want. I don’t get the feeling that Clive himself is growing stronger or better, persay. Each ability has a unique utility, but that utility is limited in any given boss fight due to the lack of enemy variety, and they mostly served for me as extra damage dealers rather than relating to any sort of strategy. The lack of combo modifiers and also the lack of a dedicated block mechanic other than the one Titan ability makes the combat feel a bit clunky and outdated to me. I don’t know how to say it, I guess, because Breath of the Wild and Tears of the Kingdom also don’t have combo modifiers and that combat isn’t particularly deep but it doesn’t feel nearly as clunky to play, so I don’t know what I’m saying...but FFXVI’s combat just feels clunky to me sometimes and you’re gonna have to believe me. (I'm not trying to compare these two games, I just feel like since I compared them in the last paragraph I should at least mention I'm not trying to make a double standard about the combat here.)

Lastly, a big issue I have with the gameplay is the exploration. It’s shit. Really. You get a couple of big maps but they’re empty. The coolest locations in the game are ones you either only get to visit once or ones you only see in cutscenes. This does a lot to alienate me from the world the game is trying to build.

I've seen a counter-criticism amounting to basically, "You shouldn't bring franchise expectations to the game!" when people criticize the lack of a party or the lack of RPG elements but I have to ask...why shouldn't I? Any game that carries a series title is going to draw comparisons with other entries in the series, and why shouldn't it - otherwise, what's the point in carrying the title? Every Final Fantasy game has always been "new" in many ways, but there has also still always been a thread connecting them, even a thin one. For me, this game just frays that thread a bit too thin. Through 12, 13, 13-2, Lightning Returns, 15, you name it, I've still always felt like "This is Final Fantasy." When I'm not even playing an RPG anymore, it's gotten too far away from the core of the series. I'm sorry, but it has.

Now here's the story negative section:

Final Fantasy XVI has a slavery problem

There are other story negatives, but for me, this is the big one. I haven’t seen people talking about it much (yet) and I don’t really understand why, because for me it was glaring and cast a pall over the entire story and many of the characters.

There’s nothing wrong with featuring slavery in your fantasy story and/or world; far from it. I think it can add stakes and a dark, realist tone to the narrative (as we know, unfortunately, slavery is a disgustingly frequent part of human history and still exists even today) as well as set up some political commentary. It just has to be done right. It’s obviously a sensitive, heavy topic. FFXVI completely bungles its handling of said topic and betrays that its developers seemingly did not have the historical comprehension or tact to appropriately handle it.

In the narrative of FFXVI, there are good slaveowners and bad slaveowners. (You can see where this is going.) The bad slaveowners are people like Clive’s mom Anabella, who view Bearers (magic users) as vermin and treat them abhorrently. Like, clownishly evil and violent treatment. The good slaveowners are people like Clive’s dad Elwin, who claim to want to make life better for Bearers and treat them relatively well by comparison—see them as human beings (theoretically)—but still keep them as slaves.

During the game’s prologue, you play as a teenage Clive who was raised as a prince of Rosaria in a slave culture where Bearers are branded and are forced to work in service to his father’s duchy. We are shown that Clive is nice to the slaves and wants to make sure they are treated well; however, he doesn’t see that there is much wrong with them being enslaved and is perfectly fine with the status quo. Clive idolizes his father, who is otherwise an evenhanded, astute ruler who truly cares about his people (at least the ones that aren’t slaves). I like Clive during these first few hours. He shows a bit of personality: he is earnest and loyal to a fault, he is fiercely protective of his brother, he is focused on what he sees as his duty to his father and his country, he is secretly devastated that his mother doesn’t love him and wants to earn his place so he has poured his entire life into making himself worthwhile in his own way, i.e. becoming the best swordsman of all time. He’s kind of giving a jock but with a sensitive side.

It’s uncomfortable that he is so comfortable with slavery, but that is exactly how a kid who grew up in a slave culture under a father he admires might think and behave. That’s why there is massive potential here to have his worldview shaken up in a big way – we know that Clive later becomes enslaved himself. As an adult, how might he look back on his interactions with the slaves in Rosalith? How might he reevaluate the man he thought his father was, compared to the man he actually was: a benevolent father but a man who owned and sanctioned the owning of slaves?

There is one scene where, as adults, Clive and Jill are in Martha’s Rest having just witnessed some awful treatment of slaves, and they comment on how it’s crazy that they never saw anything wrong with slavery as kids. That’s it. The commentary begins and ends there. Outside of this moment, not once does Clive come to terms with his complicity in slavery as a teenager, and not once does he ever think to criticize his father for it.

On the contrary: throughout the game, Archduke Elwin is revered by everyone, and we the player are supposed to revere him too. There is one part of the game where Clive returns to a village in Rosaria and the mayor, recognizing him as the prince, offers him his father’s old Bearers back in a chillingly casual tone. Like, offers to give him his father’s old slaves back who have just been hanging out in this village ever since the country was taken over. Clive of course declines, but we don’t get any indication of how Clive feels about this reminder that his dad was, you know, a slaveowner. Clive also never confronts the mayor’s assumption that these people are things to be owned, just lets him keep on as he was. Clive then meets one of his father’s old kitchen slaves, who has become senile. The old former slave thinks he is still waiting for Elwin to return and take him back to the kitchens, where the former slave apparently enjoyed working. The old man apparently has no idea what to do with himself in the mean time and just hangs out by the well waiting for Elwin, day in and day out. The old man thinks Clive is Elwin returned to get him, and Clive plays along, but says the old dude should just chill out in the village until he’s done with his journey and eventually he’ll come back and get him.

Now...it’s not super clear what we’re supposed to get out of this scene. It’s not entirely clear if we are supposed to take the old man’s ravings about how great it was working in Elwin’s kitchens at face value. Obviously, that would be horrifying. I have to assume that we are supposed to sort of see this as a really dark and sad look at a Stockholm Syndrome-type situation. But the uncertainty that I feel is just the problem. Does this quest exist to show how great Elwin was and how much everyone loved him, including his slaves, or to show how fucked up slavery is? This shouldn’t be a question I’m asking. And the reason I’m asking it is because our viewpoint characters give us nothing to go off of.

Assuming for everyone’s sanity that it’s the latter, why doesn’t Clive have some sort of emotional reaction? This is his father we’re talking about. The great Archduke Elwin. And here is a devastating reminder of the horror Elwin wreaked on a man’s life and psyche. Nothing. We get nothing from Clive. If a normal person suddenly realized that the food they ate growing up was always prepared by slaves, you’d think they’d have some kind of reaction.

And like...is Clive serious? Is he actually planning on coming back to “get him” when he’s done with his journey? Does Clive literally just own slaves in this game? (I don't actually think so, but I'm just saying, the scene was weird.) In any case, it is clear that most of the current and former slaves in this game are completely helpless and will just keep being enslaved through inertia if someone doesn’t save them or at least come and explain to them that being enslaved is wrong, actually, and they should be free. (A portrayal of slaves that is more than patronizing...it’s revolting. Certainly many real life slaves were victims of this sort of brainwashing, but it just feels like...way too many of them are like this in the game, and there are almost no rebellious slaves to provide an alternative portrayal, so it feels very one-sided. The Hideaway folks don't count - I'm talking about current slaves that you meet in the wild.)

After the events of the following section, where a village is massacred, Clive and Jill are upset and suddenly decide they want to help Cid free all the slaves, even though up until this point they have been pretty lukewarm on the idea of joining the liberation effort. I don’t feel like the threads between events are clearly drawn to show how the characters changed their minds. Instead, it’s sudden. They see a massacre (that includes non-Bearers as well as former slaves) and decide slavery is wrong.

Normally, you’d think that since Clive and Jill have, you know, been slaves themselves for the past thirteen years, that alone would be enough to give them a new perspective on slavery. But apparently not. Apparently they had to go through a journey in Rosaria to come to the conclusion that all the slaves should be freed, and even then it doesn’t feel like a perspective change that is earned or that makes sense. The scene with the mayor could have been a great opportunity to show that transition – just have Clive be like “oh, fuck...my dad did this too” – and boom, his character arc starts to make a lot more sense.

Instead, Clive proudly wears his father’s old clothes and later goes so far as to claim that he is carrying on his father’s ideals. At one point, when viewing the atrocious crimes against humanity that Anabella’s men perpetrate against former slaves, Clive mutters something along the lines of, at least in Elwin’s time Bearers weren’t “spit on as slaves.” Fam, what in the world are you talking about? We literally just talked to one of Elwin’s former kitchen slaves? We talked to a man in the Rosalith courtyard in the prologue named “Slaveowner?” It would be one thing if he was in deep denial, but the game doesn’t play it like that. The game plays it straight, like we are supposed to take what Clive is saying as truth. Later, Clive tells Byron that he won’t take back rule of Rosaria, because instead he’s fighting for the world his father believed in, where all people can live freely. Clive explicitly tells us that his father’s beliefs and the goal of ending slavery are one and the same. This does not make sense at all.

I spoke with a friend about this who argued that Elwin did believe in ending slavery, but he didn’t outright do it because he would have had revolts on his hands and so on – it would have been too sudden of a change for the free people to accept since the hatred of Bearers was so entrenched (my thoughts: oh dear, not the free people having hurt feelings, not the revolts! Better keep those people enslaved to avoid such a horror), so he was trying to change attitudes over time. According to my friend, this is what Clive meant by following his father’s ideals - moreso in spirit than in actuality. I think this is a bit of a stretch to assume this is what Clive was thinking since the game doesn't really make it super clear, if I'm being honest, and it's still a very unflattering portrayal because he's essentially excusing his father's policies of slavery. I agree with my friend that such behavior makes perfect sense for Elwin as a character, but owning slaves is still 100% wrong, Elwin was wrong, and the problem is the game’s narrative never really acknowledges this. It's obvious to us, but the game needs to acknowledge it, and it doesn't. (Also, if the reason he didn’t end slavery was truly because he was afraid of the chaos it would cause (eyeroll...it’s giving Northern liberals in 1850s United States...), then why did he himself also own slaves? Surely that wasn’t required if all he wanted was to avoid revolts. It's because he needed to use them as resources and he'd rather use free human beings in forced labor than use up the meager supply of crystals they have, right? Isn't that the real reason?) I bring this up not to discredit this friend, who is great, but because I hadn't considered this perspective before and it helped me understand Elwin's thought process a bit more, so I thought it would be helpful to mention.

What we get, as a result of all this, is a main character who comes across as extremely putzy and tepid. Sure, Clive thinks slavery is wrong, generally. He definitely thinks treating slaves badly is wrong, at least. He probably thinks having them at all is wrong...probably. (Unless you’re his dad, Archduke Elwin.) But at the same time, he doesn’t bat an eyelash when he comes across random NPCs that are in the process of abusing their slaves. And I mean including after he takes over Cid’s role as the international slave liberator and removes his brand. He doesn’t even have an emotional reaction. He just moves on like it’s to be expected. Clive is the most powerful man on earth by this point and he doesn’t lift a finger to help any Bearers he comes across in the wild. Cid the Outlaw, everybody, Clive the great liberator of slaves. What a stand-up guy. If I were a slave in Valisthea, I wouldn’t want this guy to be the one advocating for me. Personally.

It is incredibly difficult for me to emotionally connect with this character when this is how he is characterized, and when the slavery storyline is handled so tactlessly. Like it’s just tacked on to make the world more dark and fucked up, but the developers didn’t care to follow through with exploring it.

FFXVI’s portrayal of the badness of slavery is mostly limited to the cheap, low-hanging fruit of showing horrific atrocities and abuse being perpetrated against slaves by awful slavemasters. But it mostly avoids the true insidiousness of slavery, which is how normal it could be, and has been. How normal, otherwise nice people, could and have been complicit in it. Slavery doesn’t need horrific treatment to be bad. Owning other people is inherently bad. And FFXVI somehow doesn’t seem to get that.

There’s a fun, interesting, comedic relief type character with a lot more personality than most of the other main characters: Clive’s uncle, Byron. He’s wonderful. I wanted to love him.

Except - nagging at the back of my mind from the second we met him was the thought that this guy probably owned Bearers as slaves back in the day, and even if he was somehow the only noble in Rosaria that didn’t, he was close with his brother and could have made an effort to convince Elwin to end slavery, but didn’t.

You can’t have the fun quirky comedic relief uncle character also be a former slaveowner (or, optimistically, a guy who used to help maintain the system of slavery). Tonally, it just doesn’t work.

It would be one thing if Byron ever addressed his past, or his failure to act, or ever somehow recanted his former beliefs and complicity in a way the player can see. But he doesn’t. The slavery in Rosaria thing goes completely unaddressed. Byron easily slides into his role as the benefactor of the Freeing the Slaves Group as if he was one of them all along. It’s confusing and distressing to see the insidiousness of “good” slavery in Rosaria go totally unaddressed.

There’s also this uncomfortable feeling when you go around as Clive after he removes his brand and suddenly no one treats you like shit anymore, and you can’t help but thinking, “Are all of these NPCs actually racist assholes and the only reason they’re not showing it is because they think I’m not a Bearer?” Steph Sterling (The Jimquisition) has a great video where she talks about how everyone in the world of Valisthea comes across as an irredeemable bigoted monster and it makes it hard to care about saving the world. I agree. Like, saving the world is obviously still the right thing to do. I know this logically – but I don’t feel it. I don’t feel any attachment to this world or the awful people in it. This makes it even harder to connect with the “role” I’m supposed to be playing in this “RPG.”

Then the slavery storyline is forgotten halfway through the game for more Final Fantasy-like and less complicated nonsense like killing gods. (Probably for the best.)

There’s also the obvious issue of there being very few people of color in the game, and many of those being white passing to boot, but I feel that has already been touched on elsewhere better than I could say it. It’s obviously stupid and it makes their bungling of the slavery storyline even worse.

There are other flaws with the story, but I can’t even pay attention to those because the slavery thing overwhelms all the comparatively small writing problems for me. I feel like one of the 2.5 people on the Internet who is actually bothered by the portrayal of slavery in this game and it’s making me a little insane. Are people really not bothered by this?

Listen. The slavery storyline had a lot of potential. Episode 2 (or 3?) of Resonant Arc’s FFXVI analysis podcast series on YouTube goes into a really great deep dive about the portrayal of slavery in Valisthea and it made me realize it was more nuanced than I had initially given it credit for. Particularly, the fact that the reason people treat Bearers with such comic book villainy and abuse is because they have to buy into the idea of Bearers being sub-human in order to justify enslaving them and slowly murdering them, and they have to buy in hard. This is extremely true to life. In order to justify treating people like objects, they dehumanize them. There is probably guilt and shame involved over taking advantage of Bearers as a resource, which they have been brainwashed into thinking they must do in order to survive, so they channel that shame into hatred and abuse. Even many slaves themselves have been brainwashed into buying into this system, and as a result they value the “good” slavemasters compared to the “bad” ones. The system has been so entrenched for generations that there is buy-in even from the lowest rung. It’s realistic and true and I definitely get what the developers were going for, I think. But there’s still a problem:

The game never does condemn the “good slavery” in Rosaria. That coming-to-terms, that realization that it seems like the game should be building up to within Clive – it never happens. Clive never has the character growth he needs in order to make the slavery storyline land properly. By the end of the game, Elwin is still a great, admired guy, Rosaria’s slavery is still good, and it is presented as fundamentally different from, say, imperial slavery. This is really just...wrong. So all of that potential for nuance that I just discussed in the previous paragraph ends up falling flat.

Anyway, I don’t like adult Clive. I think he’s a loser. For all the game’s talk of strength of will, I don’t see much strength of will in Clive. He comes across as uncommitted and wishy washy in nearly every instance, with a side dose of angst. He doesn’t compel me in the slightest; in fact, he outright disgusts me at points, and I’d have given my left arm to play as his twinky brother instead.

The women

Okay, so I’m just gonna touch on it briefly. The women in this game...could be better. Like, they’re not bad, but I came out disappointed. Especially in Anabella.

Benedikta’s storyline has already been criticized a lot for being too short and not giving her enough depth so I won’t rehash all that, but we have to talk about Anabella. Clearly, the woman’s inspiration is Cersei from Game of Thrones, unless there’s another beautiful blond traitorous kingmaker who is a total monster that I’m forgetting about. But Cersei is a great villain because in spite of all the horrible things she does, she still feels like a real person. A fucked up person, but a real person nonetheless. Her past is carefully explored so we understand the institutional misogyny, insecurity, horrible monster of a father, and toxic relationship with her brother that led her to grow up into this person. On top of that, Cersei shows a glimpse of humanity – in spite of how she may feel about everyone else, she truly loves her children. She isn’t really a monster – she’s actually just a really fucked up, evil human being.

On the other hand, Anabella is a total monster with no redeeming qualities. We get an indication at the very end that she did genuinely love Joshua and Olivier in...her own way, perhaps...but it’s just a glimmer and then she gets killed off immediately. We watch her commit horrific act after horrific act with no idea why she would do such a thing for tens of hours, and we only just manage to learn what her motivations were the whole time when she spews it out in a rush right before she dies. And the motivations are surprisingly shallow. She was just tired of people gossiping about her behind her back in Rosaria, so she had them all killed. Cool. Why is she like this? I guess we’ll never know.

I love evil women, but Anabella doesn’t even feel like a real person. Such a missed opportunity. I still kinda love when she’s being deliciously evil, though.

*tiktok autotune voice* and I’m not saying she deseeerved it – but god’s timing is aalwaaays riiiight

Oh, you want me to talk about Jill? How did they do? You mean other than her entire life revolving around her love for a man? (Just kidding...sort of.) Well, she’s fine, I guess. Personally, I find Jill to be kind of bland as a character, but that’s just me. I think we needed to get more from her backstory than what we got. As it is, she’s too Clive-focused. She’s giving Dollar Tree Tifa but not in a good way...Tifa definitely still had her own goals and motivations independent of how she felt about Cloud, and she had much more personality. (I also don’t really understand how Jill had the patience to wait for this dude for 18 years, but we don’t really get to see how she feels about that. Or was he the one waiting for her to make a move, and she was the one hesitating? Unclear, but unlikely.) Jill is just totally gung-ho to go at Clive’s pace, in all things. The Hideaway’s goals, their relationship, talking about their feelings, anything and everything is whenever he wants and no sooner or later. I don’t necessarily have a problem with that if it makes sense for the character - We’re just never in her perspective, so we don’t know why, and I find that a shame. But I do love Jill’s design, her voice acting is great, and I like that the narrative treats her like an equal to the men when it comes to combat prowess and general agency. My problem with her giving up her powers to Clive isn’t unique to just her – I hate it in every case that it happens – it just happens to sting a little bit more since Jill is the only female party member in the game.

I like the Jive ship, by the way, even though I'm not very fond of them individually. Like many people (especially fellow adults lol), I appreciate the refreshing maturity and healthiness they have. Not exactly common in Final Fantasy (as much as I love other FF ships).

So close and yet so far from greatness

For those thirsting after Clive and Cid, I raise you, Barnabas? He’s weirdly hot, right?

I feel like fixing FF16 wouldn’t be hard. Not nearly as hard as fixing FF15. It would take some redesigning the way the story plays out a little bit to give us a permanent party, but it would be worth it. The party could include Clive, Jill, Gav, and Tarja for the duration of the game. Characters like Cid could drop out when it’s their time to drop out, and characters like Dion, Josh, and Mid could jump in after crossing paths with the party, and then stay there. When the characters go off on their little quests, like when Dion sneaks off and goes back to the Crystalline Dominion, instead of having them go alone, have the whole party accompany them. This would help organically build the bonds between the characters instead of just having the game tell us that they have bonds.

There are even classic FF archetypes to work with, if they wanted to balance the party accordingly. Clive is a knight/jack of all trades, Jill is a black mage, Gav is a rogue, Tara is like a white mage or an alchemist, Cid and Mid are machinists, Dion is a dragoon, and Josh is a red mage. See? Not that they have to be called this, but I’m just making a point that balance-wise, the party is RIGHT THERE. Then allow the player to outfit them with unique gear and maybe have a couple options for how they want the AI’s playstyle to be, like offensive, defensive, attack Clive’s enemies, attack enemies other than Clive’s enemies...just simple options (if I wanted to be really greedy I’d say add a gambit system but I’m trying to keep it “easy” here--).

But if I can be a bit greedy – how about you allow us to return to the areas featured in the one-off missions and, more than that, how about you actually let us roam around in the fantastical set pieces we only get to see in cutscenes, like Oriflamme? It wouldn’t have to be a big area. Just give me like one little town square. One tiny itsy bitsy little town square per city. Nothing too graphically intensive. Something, anything to help me feel more immersed in this world, because the game desperately needs it. The world is so cool, conceptually, but I can’t really immerse myself because I can't explore most of it.

For the story, just include some deeper revelations for Clive, Jill, Josh, Byron, even Dion, where they regret their complicity in slavery in the past (well, Josh was basically a baby so I wouldn’t necessarily call him “complicit,” but you get it, his family owned slaves, that’s a lot to swallow). Instead of having the boring ass side quests that exist now, create some side quests that are like Clive and gang actually going out and freeing more Bearers on the side, even while they’re dealing with the Mothercrystal shit, so that the freeing the slaves storyline can continue even after the plot shifts to be about the crystals. Have the quests be about unique, fleshed out characters where they have agency in freeing themselves and building a better life for themselves so it’s not all about helpless slaves with Stockholm Syndrome who need to be saved (because that’s both historically inaccurate and gross).

Of course, I think the RPG elements need to be fleshed out, but I think if you just change these two major things (a permanent party and improving the slavery storyline) the game turns from being a uncomfortable and often dreary slog into an absolute banger.

Demake

Okay hear me out – a Switch demake in the pixel art style of, say, Final Fantasy VI (like the sprites we see on the menu). The party that I mentioned above exists. I don’t care if it makes sense with the story or where the characters are supposed to be located in the world. If you’re fighting, you’ve got the party. They’re just there, get over it. If you want it to make sense, you can play the original or watch a Let’s Play of the original. You can choose four of those fuckers at a time. It’s turn-based, for the hoes (I’m the hoes).

The Eikon battles though – the Eikon battles are a 2D side scrolling brawler. How fucking sick would that be? Hell, if they really wanted to keep it entirely action-oriented even in a pixel art demake, the regular combat can be a 2d side scrolling brawler too, and maybe you can control your other three party members with, like, their own assigned buttons. Kind of like TWEWY. So it would be chaotic but in a fun way. And maybe (also for the hoes) they can insert some of the epic cinematic cutscenes as FMVs.

Have I mentioned my emphasis on having a party?

Would this not be sick as hell?

Conclusion

I needed somebody to scream at about this and my only friends who are playing this game are still early in, so I turned to the Internet instead. I welcome discussion if you for some reason actually read all of this and feel so inclined. This isn’t a comprehensive review (in spite of being this long) and there’s room for debate and there are certainly more things that could be touched on.

I wrote all this about a 6/10 game because I love Final Fantasy that much – if I didn’t care, I wouldn’t have this much to say about it. Ultimately, I love all Final Fantasy games, even the ones I don’t like. If you get it you get it.

#final fantasy xvi #ffxvi #ffxvi spoilers #final fantasy xvi spoilers #final fantasy xvi review #clive rosfield #i question whether there's a point in posting this since tumblr is kind of dead #but i hope someone is entertained at least #i love reading shit like this anyway lol

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