#the pure outrage of the other kids at what he gets away with

[golden-cherry]

deal - cl16 (31/?)

Pairing: Charles Leclerc x Reader

Series Summary: Your whole life has gone to shit. Your boyfriend broke up with you, you just lost your job and the Monegasque, who suddenly stands in your doorway, claims that it’s his apartment.

Chapter Summary: The promised back massage - and friends help each other.

Warnings: 18+ (thigh riding, inexperienced!reader)

Word Count: 3.6k

series masterlist

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A/N: I'm so proud. Charlie won his home race! I'm still crying. feedback is appreciated!

"So?" asks Charles as you move further and further away from the beautiful house. "What do you think of them?"

You smile at him. "You have a really great family, Charles. Maybe a little wild, but it's obvious how much you love each other."

He looks at you briefly before returning his gaze to the road ahead. "I love them more than anything. Ever since my father died, we've taken every opportunity to spend time together." He swallows briefly. "We appreciate each other. And that's worth a lot."

You carefully reach for his hand, which is resting on the shift stick, and turn it so that you can interlace your fingers with his. You place it on your lap and stroke the back of his hand in gentle circles with your thumb. "Thank you for taking me here. It means a lot to me."

"Actually, I didn't have any other choice. I think my mother would have kicked down our front door if I kept you from her." Charles has to grin. "I definitely wouldn't have survived that."

"So that's how it is," you grin and let go of his hand with mock outrage. "So you only took me with you out of pure self-protection."

Before you can cross your arms in front of your chest, he grabs your hand again and brings it up to his mouth so that he can tentatively blow a kiss on your knuckles. "Do you believe me when I tell you that it's incredibly important to me that you know my family? And that you like them?"

You feel the heat rush to your face as he brushes his lips over the thin skin of your fingers. You take a quick breath and stare at him before nervously - and slightly turned on - looking away from him. "Maybe." You try to sound as nonchalant as possible and hope that Charles doesn't notice the tremble in your voice. "I'm definitely glad Arthur didn't do anything to you. I bet he was a kid back then who just bit other children."

Charles has to laugh at that. Loudly and fervently, and you don't know if he does it on purpose, but he presses your hand firmly against his muscular chest and holds it there. You feel the vibration under your fingertips and air rushing through his lungs, and his laughter is so infectious that you can't help but join in.

When he finally lets go of your hand, he wipes the tears from his face. He takes another deep breath before letting out one last laugh and then places his hand on your thigh like it's the most normal thing in the world. The warmth of his skin almost burns through the fabric of your clothes. You try not to let it show. "Believe me, mon amour. I should even have a scar from his teeth somewhere."

When you stop at a traffic light, Charles leans forward a little and pushes his back through. When you hear a few of his vertebrae crack, you grimace. "Does your back hurt?"

"A little." He leans back into the seat again, but stretches his neck to the side. "Not being able to lean back for hours is more uncomfortable than you think." When he glances at you out of the corner of his eye and smirks, you lightly punch his shoulder. 

"You idiot." Charles laughs in response. "You're just after a back massage!"

"You take what you can get." His hand squeezes your thigh. 

You roll your eyes. "You could have just asked for a massage, you know? I imagine the stool isn't the most comfortable piece of furniture."

Charles shrugs. "I didn't want it to be weird in any way."

Your gaze focuses on his slender fingers on your leg. "Do you mean because of this morning?" you ask meekly. 

"Actually -" Charles clears his throat. " Because of Arthur, actually. He was hinting at something and - I don't know." He steers the car onto the street where your apartment is. When he takes his hand off your thigh to change gear, you miss his touch. Without another word, he parks the Renault in the building's underground garage and without looking at you, you take the elevator to your apartment. 

The silence between you is a little awkward. The fact that you brought up the incident from this morning has somehow killed the mood and you'd like to slap yourself for it. You could have left it at that - after all, you had spoken to each other and agreed that everything was fine between you - but you had stupidly cast it in a different light.

You get ready for bed in separate rooms in silence. While Charles brushes his teeth in the bathroom, you change in the bedroom and slip into comfortable shorts and a shirt that you're not sure if it belongs to you or Charles. When you run into each other in the hallway, you don't look at each other, but pass each other with lowered eyes. 

In the bathroom, you splash cold water on your face and are about to bang your forehead against the porcelain of the sink. Until just now, the day had been wonderful. You met his wonderful family, had a fun evening and although you had a little slip-up this morning, Charles and you got on really well. Your friendship hasn't been tarnished and apparently you've been so good to each other that the Leclerc family think you're a couple. 

That's another thing you need to sort out. Between the two of you and definitely with his family. Even though you've only got to know the Leclercs properly since today, you've already grown fond of them and it doesn't feel right to fib to everyone. Above all, it doesn't feel right to Pascale, who has invited you into her home and insists that you spend Christmas with them. Pascale, who has such a big heart and didn't hesitate for a moment to take you into the family. 

It's not fair to her - even if a small part of you wants to keep things the way they are. Even if it doesn't reflect reality, the word girlfriend doesn't ring false in your ears. The thought of it makes you feel warm and somehow the blood tingles in your veins. 

You blame it on the long day you've had and the fact that you're too emotionally exhausted to put one and one together. How crazy would it be if you were actually Charles' girlfriend?

You immediately push the thought aside when you return to the bedroom and see Charles lying on the bed. He continues to scroll through his phone without looking at you and doesn't even glance at you as you slip under the covers on your side of the bed. 

You want to press your face into the pillow and scream, but you can't do that because it definitely wouldn't ease the tension in the air. You could also cry quietly to yourself, but Charles would notice even that. But you could also -

"Am I still getting the back massage?" Confused, you look over at your friend, who puts his cell phone aside and looks at you. He shrugs and then runs his hand through his hair. "You said I should just ask. And I thought I'd try my luck." His hand wanders over the comforter and when he finds yours, he intertwines your fingers. 

"Charles -" you begin, but you don't know how to finish the sentence. You're relieved that he doesn't take offense at your comment and wants to ease the situation by pretending nothing happened. You would love to kiss him for it. The thought sends a warm shiver down your spine.

"Sorry," Charles apologizes as he mistakes your awkwardness for hesitation. "It was a stupid idea. I just thought -"

"It's okay," you interrupt him and squeeze his hand, whereupon he squeezes back twice. "Apparently the stool was super uncomfortable. And friends help each other, don't they?" 

The Monegasque returns your gentle smile. "Friends help each other," he repeats, his gaze flickering briefly from your eyes to your lips and back again. " 'Um - should I take my shirt off? I think that would be smarter, don't you?"

Before you can say anything back, his hand disengages from yours and in one elegant movement he pulls the garment over his head and throws it to the other end of the bed. You watch the muscles in his back flex as he slides down the bed a little and lies on his stomach without hesitation, as if he can't wait another second. 

You have to strain to tear your gaze away from him. "I think I still have some body lotion somewhere." You quickly run back to the bathroom, where you spot the cream on the shelf next to the door, and sprint back to Charles, who has put his head in his hands and is smiling at you. You stand uncertainly in front of the bed, swaying from one foot to the other. "Where - I mean - how -?"

"Just sit on my legs," he says gently and pulls the blanket off him so that you can sit on top of him. "I think that's easier than from the side. Isn't it?"

"I - I don't know," you reply quietly and stop in your tracks. Of course, it would make more sense to sit astride his legs, but then you would also be sitting on him. And you definitely don't want things to get weird between you again. 

"Just sit down, please. I won't bite." Charles reaches out and grabs your hand to pull you towards him. He doesn't let go until you swing your leg over his and get comfortable on the back of his thigh. "See? It's not so bad, is it?"

You're glad he can't see how hard you're swallowing. The fine hairs tickle the soft skin on the inside of your thighs and heat shoots into your face as you slide your butt around to find the best possible position. When you finally find it, you remove the cap from the body lotion. "Careful, it might be a bit cold."

"It's okay, it can't be that bad - oh fuck!" Charles exclaims as you pour the contents of the bottle onto his back. Goosebumps immediately spread across his back and arms and you have to stifle your laughter. "Don't you dare laugh at me. My goodness, you could have warmed up the cream in your hand!"

"Sorry," you grin and close the bottle again before placing it on the bed next to your knee. "I thought it would be easier this way."

"It's definitely meaner," Charles replies, glancing over his shoulder at you. "You owe me a longer massage for that. At least half an hour." 

"No problem," you smile. You hope he doesn't notice your hesitation, because it takes a few seconds before your head commands your hands to rest on his broad back and spread the cream. With your fingers spread apart, you glide over his spine, his shoulder blades to his neck, where you feel the first lump under your fingertips. Slowly, but firmly, you press your thumb over the spot. 

And Charles moans shamelessly. "Fuck, that feels good." He closes his eyes as you continue to work on his neck. "I think you've missed your profession."

"You think so?" you ask softly. Your fingers glide to his hairline, his muscular neck and back over his shoulders. "Maybe I wouldn't be unemployed right now."

"I'd hire you in a heartbeat." As you press the side of his left shoulder blade with your thumbs, he exhales audibly. "Yeah, right there."

Smiling, you look at him before returning to your task. "I think you're too old for that stool. I'll sit on it next time."

"You're only saying that because you're hoping for a massage too." Charles' voice sounds rough and deep, completely relaxed. With his eyes closed, he enjoys your touch and misses you biting your lower lip. 

Your mouth goes dry at the thought of feeling his hands on your bare skin. You'd be only too happy to repeat this morning's incident if it meant that nothing would change between you. That you would remain friends. 

Nervously, you slide around on his legs. "Maybe."

You don't receive an answer. In comfortable silence, you run your hands over his back, pressing certain points in his muscles that make the Monegasque hum and moan softly. It's nice to know that he can let himself go with you and that you seem to be doing him good. 

Your hands wander down to the hem of his shorts and before you can really think about it, your thumbs slide just underneath so that you can massage the marks the shorts leave on his skin too. Charles takes a gasping breath and for a moment you think you've gone a step too far, but Charles doesn't even open his eyes as he speaks. 

"I miss this."

You tilt your head, even though he's not looking at you. "What do you mean?"

"Being touched," he answers your question quietly.

You pull your fingers out from under the hem and let them glide over his spine. "We touch each other."

Charles lets out a sigh. "I know. But - I don't know." His mouth twists into a thin line. "That's something else."

"Explain it to me." 

"It's been months since I've touched anyone, or vice versa. And I'm not talking about friendly touching. What we do," he explains. You don't know why your heart tightens as if it has heard bad news. 

Your fingers trail over his shoulders and then down his arm. Goosebumps spread under your fingertips. "Okay."

"Not that I don't think it's nice," he tries to get his act together. "I love it when I hold your hand or when we cuddle in bed. That's not even up for debate." When your fingers reach his wrist, he grabs them and squeezes them twice. "I don't know how to describe it." 

"What exactly do you mean by 'touch'?" you try to draw him out. "I mean, apparently there must be a difference between what you mean and what we do."

Charles shrugs and lets go of your hand so you can continue. "I miss having my hair played with. Or having my legs rubbed." Lying down, he runs his hand through his hair once, "I don't know."

You chew the inside of your cheek. "Do you mean - I don't know - like more intimate touching?" When you hear yourself say that, you try to turn it around again. "I mean - I'm not talking about sex. But rather that emotional connection? That you feel close to someone and touching them, like playing with your fingers or rubbing your arms, feels different?"

Charles turns his head in your direction so he can look at you. "I miss being touched more intimately. I really crave it." He turns under you so that he is now lying on his back. He leans on his elbows. You don't know where to put your hands, which is why you hold them strangely in the air. You try to fix your gaze on his face, but it flickers briefly to his abs. Something that doesn't escape Charles' notice. "What about you?"

"What about me?" 

"My relationship went down the drain months ago. It's obvious I'm touch starved." He sits up straight and reaches for your hands, placing them tentatively and hesitantly on his chest. "I can't stop thinking about this morning."

You can feel his heart beating under your palm and there's a sparkle in his beautiful green eyes. "We're friends," you state the obvious. The one you agreed on. 

Charles nods. "And I don't want that to change either. I really don't." He exhales and you feel his warm breath on your face. "But don't you miss it? Being touched? Being touched intimately?"

As he licks his lips, your brain shuts down for a moment. "I've never - I don't - I -" you stumble over your words and heat rushes to your cheeks. You don't know why you're confiding in him. You don't know why your hands are wandering from his chest up to his shoulders. The only thing you can feel is Charles' arm around you, pulling you closer to him. His one leg slides between yours so that you're sitting on his bare thigh. You just hope he can't feel your arousal pooling in your shorts.

"Mon amour," he whispers and brushes a strand of hair behind your ear with his other hand. From there, his fingers glide along the soft skin of your neck, over your collarbone, along your arm, until your fingers intertwine again. "Your shorts are pretty thin." He leans forward slightly and lays a feather-light kiss on your neck. You blow all the fuses. "I can feel you dripping for me. Let me help you." His hand settles on your hip and gently he pushes you back a little on his leg, but only to pull you forward again. Electricity shoots through your veins as you moan shamelessly into his face. "Friends help each other. All you have to do is say yes."

Something primal flares in his eyes as he brings your hand to his mouth and places his lips on your knuckles. A gentle gesture that is in complete contrast to how you feel inside. Fire blazes under your skin, heat coursing through your whole body as he places your hand against his cheek, then presses a kiss to your palm. "Nothing changes," you murmur, to which Charles nods. 

"Nothing changes," he confirms. "We stay friends." His hands slowly slide under your bottom, under the hem of your shorts. You feel his hot skin on yours as he rocks you back and forth on his thigh. "I promise."

Your crotch rubs against his leg with such relish and when the hem of your shorts catches on your clit, you burn out all your fuses. "Yes."

Charles' lips find your neck as his hands cup your ass and guide you over his leg. With your mouth open and your eyebrows furrowed, you dig your fingers into his shoulder blades. Pleasure pulses through your body as his mouth moves over your neck, sucking lightly on the thin skin but not lingering long enough to leave a mark. Each kiss is gentle, the complete opposite to his grip on your ass and the way he rubs you over him. 

"Charles." Your voice is little more than a sigh and you think you can feel his raging boner against your leg, but the thought quickly fades as one of his hands pulls away from you. Instantly you miss his touch, his skin on yours, but before you can do anything, his fingers reach into your hair to gently pull your head back. 

"I'm here, mon amour," he breathes against the newly won space on your neck. Gently, he sucks where your pulse is, and you think you feel his teeth against your skin for a moment. "I'm here."

You don't know where to put your hands, so you just use them to press his face closer to you. You feel his tongue at the point where your neck meets your shoulder and arch towards him. "Please."

You don't know what you're asking for, but Charles knows all the better for it. He rocks you over his leg, which is wet and slippery from your arousal, and as your knee gently bumps against his cock, he moans into your ear. 

Absently, your hands disengage from his hair and scrape down his chest to the hem of his shorts, but before you can go an inch further, his thumb and forefinger curl around your wrists. "Mon amour, today is about you," he murmurs, kissing your cheek as he notices your disappointed look. "Don't pout. Otherwise we'll stop here and now." 

You move over his thigh on your own and, without taking the chance, you nudge his boner again with your knee. "But you said -" you begin, but Charles lets go of your hands, only to hold them behind your back. 

"Nuh-uh." His lips find their place against your collarbone. Apparently he notices that you close your eyes, because his free hand rests gently against your throat. "Look at me, mon amour." His voice is no more than a gasp as you open your eyes and look up at him pleadingly. You want him closer, want to feel his lips on yours, his cock splitting you in half. You want him to ruin you for any other men.

You approach the cliff, willing yourself to plunge down it, but when you close your eyes again, Charles merely presses your lap against his leg, preventing you from moving any further. You look at him in shock. "Charles."

"Fuck, I love it when you say my name." He holds you tight, chest to chest, and you try to move somehow, to rub against him. And he lets you. His hand loosens from your wrists while the other continues to rest on the column of your throat, but doesn't squeeze. "Look at me, mon amour," he repeats to himself, shamelessly sliding his hand inside your shorts so he can cup your ass. With one final movement, he pulls you forward, the hem of your shorts rubbing perfectly over your swollen bundle of nerves and white lightning flashes through your veins. "Look at me when you come for me."

And you do.

[zreamy]

spf 23

pairing: park sunghoon x fem!reader

summary: for as long as you can remember, your summers have been much the same, largely spent in your hometown, relaxing by the local pool. when you get back home this summer, things seem like they'll go the same way, until you get to the pool that is — when did the lifeguard get so hot?

genres: smut, fluff, people that kinda know each other to lovers, summer au, lifeguard au..

warnings: minors dni, MENTIONS OF UNIVERSITY DURING SUMMER, sunghoon in water, sunghoon on ice, sunghoon

word count: 31,818 .. even more sorry than last time.

playlist: kiss nct dojaejung, obvious ariana grande, safety net ariana grande

author's note: lmk ur thoughts (positive / negative / sunghoon) i'd love to hear. to beta bestie @asahicore u da best MUSIC DJ EMMAAA. i hope u have a good time reading, lord knows this has been a long time coming.. ok enjoy <;333

It’s the hottest day of the last summer of your life. 

The sun’s rays coat your skin in a film of sticky sweat and sunscreen. Crisp white clouds hang in the sky, drifting overhead. Yunjin complains about the temperature as if you and Chaewon aren’t outside with her.

If you strain your ears over yelling children and raucous laughter, you can just about hear a Top 40 playlist looping Cupid and Dua Lipa songs through age-weakened speakers. What holds your attention the most, though, is the blond by the pool. He leans back on his hands with pretty fingers spread out behind him. He’s been lifeguarding at the public pool for more summers than you care to count but he’d never looked like this while he did it. 

Park Sunghoon seems relaxed as he sits on the pool’s edge, kicking his legs in the water and scanning the space. Presumably watching out for kids drowning, or diving, or.. whatever it is lifeguards get up to at work. His voice is deep as he (half-heartedly) yells at a group of kids with water guns to stop running. When did he get so buff?

He’s always been attractive. Always. But this is outrageous. The bleached hair. The toned arms. The sliver of skin you can see peeking out from under his cropped vest. It’s almost too much to take yet you can’t bring yourself to look away. Given the way he turns his head when you catch his gaze — with flushed cheeks and upturned lips — you assume his glow-up has been purely external. 

“Can you believe this might be the last summer we spend here together? Like, this time next year we’ll be graduates.” Yunjin’s sudden statement makes you wish she’d go back to talking about the weather. 

Chaewon’s jaw drops. “Whoa.”

“Is it bad that I’m looking forward to fall?” Yunjin asks. “No offence, YN.” 

This isn’t the first time she’s shared such a sentiment. Last summer and the one before, she’d said something similar before clarifying. She’s excited about her new classes, not about you going back to your apartment a few towns over.

You’re only looking forward to your shared two-bed and Minjeong’s dinners. It pains you to have to thank university for anything, but thank university for giving you something to miss over the holidays. 

“None taken, YJ, but break just started last week.” 

“Our last finals were five weeks ago.”

“Well, you know break doesn’t really start until our girl gets back.” Chaewon leans up in her seat to grin at you. She raises her cup, the tiny puddle of melted slushy shaking a little. “Here’s to the best summer ever!” 

Needing all the affirmation you can get, you entertain her, raising your own cup so the three of you can toast properly. 

“Cheers!”

The next few hours do nothing to affirm your belief in the effectiveness of toasting. Recently hot Sunghoon hasn’t taken his shirt off yet and you’re not sure how many more times you can beg your friends to stay for another half hour in hopes something will happen that causes him to tear the thing off. At this point you’d settle for a simple conversation or even the word hey.

“I’m begging, like, actually, let’s go.” Yunjin groans, sitting up.

“Just let me pee first,” you grumble, attempting to buy more time as you stand up from your lounge chair, packing up your towel and the magazine you never bothered to look at. 

On your walk to the restroom, you see him leaning in the doorframe of the changing rooms with his toned arms crossed over his chest. Perfect. There’s a smile on your face as you approach him and unexpectedly he speaks before you do. 

"He—" He clears his throat, thick brows coming together as he places a big hand on his chest. "Hey."

You let out a breathy laugh. “You okay?” 

He straightens up his posture and nods his head, blond hair shifting over his forehead from the movement. 

The sounds of the public pool fill the silence stretching over you, though it’s not enough to distract you from the way his eyes trail over your body, landing on your chest as his tongue darts out to wet his lips. 

“I’m Sunghoon,” he eventually introduces, extending a hand for you to shake. 

A smile stretches across your lips when you do, noticing how much bigger his hand is than yours when his fingers wrap around it and cover the whole thing. “I know,” you nod.

“You,” Sunghoon pauses, tilting his head to the side as if considering your words. “Know?” His brows quirk up. 

You hum in response. “We had Spanish together. You sat with.. that kid,” Your hands come up to gesture around your chin and neck. “With the jaw, Jay, was it?” 

He looks at something over your shoulder for a bit while you worry that he didn’t take Spanish and you’ve got the wrong guy, but a laugh rises out of him instead. “Yeah,” he grins. “Jay.” Nods his head.

Despite stuttering his way through the conversation, Sunghoon makes you laugh as he tells you about how he didn’t realise he’d have to swim on the job and almost drowned trying to save a kid in the deep end. He seems more confident after seeing that his story was well received though he still fidgets with his hands, and can’t hold eye contact for more than a second at a time, always looking away and clearing his throat. 

The story was a bit of a ramble, and it might be the most words you’ve ever heard him say all at once before falling quiet, though his pretty lips open and close a few times as if he’s stuck on what to say. “How-” He’s cut off by the sound of someone yelling his name. 

In the pool, a cute (and very tall) kid waving his arms above his head yelling: Quickly! Quickly! makes you laugh, and the way Sunghoon rolls his eyes makes it clear he knows him.

Much to your dismay, the yelling doesn’t stop and you realise you’ll have to make your exit. “I’ll let you get going, but, uh, say hi to Jay for me, okay?” you say, grinning at the way he nods his head, mumbling yeah, of course before you turn around to leave.

Sunghoon’s still standing in the spot you left him in, hands crossed over his chest as he eyes you. Head snapping in the other direction when you look back over your shoulder to call out a: Later, Hoonie, with a wave of your fingers.

Chaewon watches you over her sunglasses with a smirk on her face as you approach. “Who is that?”

You crinkle your nose. “Park Sunghoon.”

At the sound of his name, Yunjin gasps, abruptly sitting up in her chair. “The figure skater?”

“The what?”

At home, you type his name into the search bar and find that the shy boy you’d only met properly some hours ago is something of a celebrity in the skating world. 

You watch YouTube videos of his short programs and feel a swell of pride with each jump he lands. The tiny Sunghoon on the screen carries an air of confidence as he glides across the ice — nothing like the Sunghoon you’d met at the pool today. And definitely nothing like the quiet Sunghoon who’d sit in the back of your 9th grade Spanish class conjugating verbs as his friends got into trouble for talking over the teacher. 

It’s not hard to trip down a rabbit hole, and suddenly every video with his name in the title has a little red bar under the thumbnail as a mark of your affection. It doesn’t take long for you to find Instagram user smartblond, and the blue follow button on his page greets you with the option to follow back, which leaves you feeling a little bad as the pad of your thumb falls onto it unthinkingly. 

Sunghoon’s feed leaves much to be desired. A modest 1 post he’d made 4 years prior, a square photo of himself and Lee Heeseung with bros as the caption. The only comment is from Heeseung who wrote ma boiiii. The tagged photos however tell a different story. 

Thankfully.  

You spend longer than you’d like to admit scrolling through these pictures, grinning and ignoring the way your stomach flips at the sight of the seemingly outgoing boy captured in the pictures posted by his closest friends with wide smiles and middle fingers while trying not to hit like on any of them. Even though you do like them. A lot. Except for the one of him and Bae Sumin at the pool with pretty smiles on their faces, and their arms around each other that she posted 15 weeks ago with the caption lifesaver. A smile spreads on your lips when you see Sumin’s (way more populated) page and the post she made yesterday to celebrate two years with her boyfriend. 

Distraction only reaches you in the form of an alert from your university’s portal app. The words you’ve got new correspondence in your inbox wipe the smile from your face in an instant. While chewing at your lip, you click on the notification and wait for the email to load. 

A pit forms in your stomach while reading four paragraphs offering advice for people who’ve failed their final exams. At the end is a link that you click with squinted eyes. A countdown appears and there are 8 days, 12 hours, 2 minutes and 17 seconds until results are out.

During your next trip to the pool, you hear Sunghoon before you see him and his voice comes out in a cute whine when he speaks. “Why do you guys only wanna hang out here when I'm working?” 

Looking over your sunglasses, you see him running a hand through his hair, looking up from the water at a group of boys you recognise from both high school and his tagged photos, including the very tall kid who’d cut your conversation short the other day. With a wide grin on his face, he slings a towel over his shoulder and calls out something about the concession stand before running for the changing rooms and ignoring Sunghoon’s cries to stop. 

His back flexes deliciously as he wades around the mostly empty pool, chatting to his friends, and in all of your staring you notice Jay’s eyes on you, looking back to Sunghoon after a while and nodding his head not so subtly in your direction.

You look at Yunjin in the lounge chair next to you, who stares at the remnants of your blue raspberry slushy with disgust on her face, finishing off her cherry-flavoured one. “I said thanks when you came back with them, it’s abnormal to want this much recognition over a £1 purchase,” you say defensively, sighing and thanking her again anyways. 

“You should thank Sunghoon’s giant friend,” she says, nodding in his direction. “He came over to me in the line, asked how I knew you, and gave me change when I told him Chaewon introduced us.” 

“Huh,” you say, taking a refreshing sip, the last, before putting your cup down between your chairs. 

“I don’t understand what you see in that insane flavour.” She leans over to put her now empty cup next to yours. “It’s.. unnatural,” she says, shuddering dramatically. 

“It’s the only flavour I like,” you say simply, watching in your peripheral as your new favourite lifeguard (not that you have an old favourite) climbs over the edge of the pool.

The sight of Sunghoon’s lean figure coming out of the pool only makes you regret ever wanting to see him with his shirt off. Water slips from every part of his body in droplets, running from his broad shoulders down his veiny forearms before falling from his pretty fingers onto the ground. This must be the fittest-looking person you’ve ever seen, and Kazuha can do push-ups (one) with you and Chaewon on her back. 

With his wet hair stuck to his forehead, he laughs at something one of his friends said and it’s only when he looks over at you that you’re able to tear your eyes away. 

You miss the sight as soon as it’s gone. 

“That’s absurd,” Yunjin says after a moment. You have no idea what she’s talking about. “Can I open the Skittles?”

You’d forgotten about those. “Go ahead.” 

While rummaging through your bag, Yunjin tells you quietly that Sunghoon’s coming though you barely have a chance to look at him before his shadow casts over the two of you, stark and vivid. With his arms crossed over his chest, Sunghoon towers over you. His red shorts cling onto his hips, so low you can see every inch of muscle definition spanning his stomach where little beads of water stare you dead in the eye. By the time you manage to look up at his face, he has a huge grin stretched over his pretty lips. “Hey, stalker,” he says.

Though his smile falters when you crease your brows, pulling your sunglasses down your nose. “Stalker?” 

“You, uh,” he pauses to sniff, less sure of himself than earlier. “I saw that you followed me on Instagram last night.” 

“You did? And no DM?” 

No DM, he repeats under his breath, visibly confused, and the—“Ohhhh, you wanted to talk to me?” 

“Yeah, that’s why I followed you.”

“Right.” A nod. “And no DM?” Sunghoon seems to like the way you laugh, uncrossing his arms, and puffing his chest out. “So what did you wanna talk about that just couldn’t wait until you saw me again?” 

“I wanted to catch up.”

A sceptical look crosses his face. “Really? Anything specific you wanted to talk about?” 

“Not really. I just think you’re interesting.”

“Me? Interesting?” The mixture of amusement and surprise on his face makes you laugh. 

“Yes, you, interesting.” A saccharine smile spreads across your lips as you swing your legs over the side of your chair. Sunghoon apologises when your ankle grazes his calf. “Very interesting.” 

Sitting like this, your face is so close to his hips you can see the loose thread at the top of his shorts. He seems to notice, taking a step back. Down the bridge of his nose, he watches you through squinted eyes, furrowing his brow and letting a beat pass. “How so?” 

“There’s a lot of reasons, but, for one, you’re the only figure skater I know.”

So quickly you barely see it, Sunghoon’s lips curl into a frown before he presses them together, nodding. “How’s summer treating you?” He changes the subject. 

You let him. “Pretty good,” you say, bringing a hand up to the tied strap of your swimsuit to pull it to the side. “And I’m tanning pretty well, right, Sunghoon?” 

A massive cloud glides across the sky, casting a welcome shadow over the scorching sun. The transition is gradual but relief is immediate and even Sunghoon sighs. You push your sunglasses up to rest in your hair, taken aback, like always, by how bright it actually is outside. Even with the sun covered up, your eyes sting a little without the tint making you squint up at Sunghoon who watches you with an amused smile. 

“Is there something on my face?” you ask. 

“No, nothing like that.” He shakes his head. “It’s just.. nice catching up with you.”

“Yeah. It is.” You return his smile, liking the way his widens. “So, how’s summer trea—” You’re cut off by the same kid as yesterday, yelling “Sunghoooooooooon!” At the top of his lungs. 

“What were you saying?” 

“Uh,” you start, distracted by the kid pointing at Sunghoon, who waves frantically when he realises he’s caught your eye. “You, uh,” you pause, using a finger to point over to the pool. “I think your friend might need you.” 

He turns to look over his shoulder, the sun shining directly on the side of his face when he does, highlighting the pretty mole on his nose that you’ve somehow never noticed. Sunghoon shakes his head and freezing water splashes onto your stomach, making you flinch. A non-committal sound comes out of his mouth as he shrugs, facing you once again. “It’s just Riki.”

Just Riki doesn’t let up. Instead, he enlists the help of a cute cat-eyed boy, clambering onto his shoulders and balancing precariously as he yells and yells at the top of his lungs. 

“Okay, yeah, I gotta,” Sunghoon sighs, using his thumb to motion towards the pool as he walks backwards away from you. He points a long index finger at you before turning around. “I’m coming back,” he says. 

With a huge splash, Riki falls from his friend’s shoulders unceremoniously, his form disappearing for a moment, replaced by a mess of bubbles and long frantic limbs until he resurfaces. 

“I’m not here to play, I’m here to work!” Sunghoon calls out, walking right off the coping and into the water, swimming towards his friends anyway. 

He doesn’t come back. 

That night you stay at Chaewon’s, rifling through old teen magazines and taking quizzes to determine who your ��celeb bezzie’ is. Answering mostly C’s, the two of you squeal at the prospect of a friendship with Lindsay Lohan. 

Jaehyun’s complaining when you reach the pool and you figure Yunjin and Kazuha must be nearby. Your hunch is correct when you round the corner by the water slide and see the two of them splashing each other in the small pool. He’s standing with his hands on his hips and yelling something about the literal sign that says they can’t be in there right now. The sign is a bright red fold-out thing, saying in bold white letters that the pool is closed for swimming lessons starting at 1:30 p.m. 

“It’s 1:20, you can’t be in here,” Jaehyun groans, raking a hand through his hair. “I know you guys think because we’re friends you can do what you want but the other lifeguards kicked me from the group chat and Sunghoon said it’s all your fault.” 

The mention of Sunghoon makes your ears perk up, and you decide to insert yourself. “What did they do wrong?” 

Jaehyun practically jumps at the sound of your voice next to him and Yunjin calls out for you to get in! “Don’t you dare,” Jaehyun mutters, cutting his eyes. “Whatever it is was bad enough for Mark, Yeri, and Chaeyoung to decide I’m not worthy of LIFESAVERS 2.0 swimming guy emoji, ring float emoji.” 

“If you got kicked because of them, I don’t see why Sunghoon gets to stay.” You tilt your head, stepping back a little when you feel a splash hitting your feet. “His one million-man friend group takes up half of the big pool every day, competing for who can laugh the loudest, and these two are pretty much doing the same thing.” 

“Yes, but Sunghoon’s friends aren’t breaking the rules.” 

“I saw Riki take an ice cream cone from a kid yesterday.”

“That’s not against the rules,” Jaehyun sighs. “And Chaeyoung thinks Sunghoon’s cute, so.” 

“She does?” you ask too quickly. 

“What do you care?” Jaehyun spares you a glance, arching his brow. He seems to undergo some kind of revelation, gasping a little and nodding his head. “So that’s why you guys are here all the time! You totally like that loser.” 

“Sunghoon’s not a loser, he’s hot.”

“Interesting thing to dispute.” 

You roll your eyes. “Do I need to worry about Chaeyoung?” you ask quietly.

“If you’re trying to hook up with Sunghoon I wouldn’t worry about her.”

You hate his response; hate that instead of really answering you, he’s just left you with even more questions. 

And you hate Chaeyoung for falling into your line of sight just as you mention her. 

She leaves the locker room, laughing about something with Yeri, and making you wonder what exactly she wants with Sunghoon. And why she suddenly feels like your competitor.

“And if I’m not?” 

Jaehyun cackles at your suggestion. “You? Not trying to hook up?” 

You can’t come up with a reason for why his words make your chest ache so you shove him with your elbow before jumping into the water with the girls. The sound of Jaehyun groaning and begging you guys to get out of the pool only dissolves the ache and puts a smile on your face.

Yunjin and Kazuha gang up on you for taking so long to join them but the water feels so cool against your skin you can’t help but enjoy it. 

The sound of what you think is Sunghoon’s voice makes you freeze in your spot. “I can’t keep defending you, man,” he sighs. 

At the sound of a whistle blowing, you raise your hands to cover your ears and all three of you whip your heads in its direction. Sunghoon stands next to Jaehyun with a whistle in his mouth, coughing around the metal when he sees you. He smiles, dropping it to rest against his chest. “Oh, hey.” 

“Hi,” you greet, swimming over to the edge of the pool and resting your arms on it, letting your chin find a home against them. Looking up, you see Jaehyun rolling his eyes before walking off in the opposite direction and Sunghoon stares down at you with a smile on his face.

“How are you?” he asks, fidgeting with the whistle like a charm on a necklace. 

“I’m good, how are you?” 

“Good, me too. Uh-your friends,” he pauses, clearing his throat. “I’m teaching lessons here, in five minutes, so I was wondering if you guys could maybe hang out in the main pool or by the slides instead?” he asks. It seems like he’s asking. “Only if you want.” 

“What if we’re here for lessons?” 

“Oh, I’m sorry, you guys must be the six-year-olds I’m teaching this afternoon, my bad for assuming.” 

You can’t tell if he was trying to be funny or if that was just something he said for the sake of saying it, but it makes you smile anyway. “You don’t do lessons for grown-ups?”

Sunghoon shakes his head. “I teach 6 to 12-year-olds, but Mark teaches adult classes on Saturday mornings if you’re interested.”

You nod, lifting yourself out of the pool, dripping water on the concrete. You’re close enough to Sunghoon to clearly see his jaw tensing, and the way his gaze shamelessly falls to your chest for more than a few seconds. 

“What if I’m interested in a one-on-one lesson?” 

Close enough to see the goosebumps that rise on his skin. He licks his lips, holding your gaze. “I guess we could work something out,” he says, clearing his throat when you rest a hand on his wrist, though he doesn’t look away from you. 

It seems like it’s just the two of you and the sun beating against your skin. And his pulse racing against your fingers. 

An excited wail grounds you, brings you back to the pool. “Sunghoonie! Sunghoonie!” You hear over his shoulder, as a tiny girl with pigtails and a huge grin comes rushing over to you. “Look, I got new goggles, look at my new goggles!” 

You take a step back and Sunghoon gasps, holding her Hello Kitty goggles in his hands, inspecting them carefully while crouching down to her level. In his absence, you see more, equally excited, kids plodding along, babbling to each other, followed by parents with small character backpacks slung over their shoulders. 

Sunghoon chats animatedly with her, nodding and gasping and saying really? at all the right times, in a way that summons butterflies. She giggles and holds her belly laughing when he holds her baby sized goggles over his head, asking if he can try them on, and you need to leave before you burst into tears at how sweet he’s being.

Yunjin and Kazuha beam at you when you look over at them, winking dramatically and giving you silent rounds of applause. Your cheeks burn at the sight, mumbling at them to come on, before turning around to walk away. 

“Hey, YN!” Sunghoon calls out, stopping you in your tracks. He’s standing with his arms crossed over his chest, and a small smile on his lips. “See you later, yeah?” 

“Yeah.” You nod. 

The girls have caught up to you by now, Yunjin’s eyebrows waggling suggestively as she links her fingers with yours. “Oh, he is so into you,” Kazuha whispers, wrapping a dripping arm around your shoulders. “Chaewon was right, summer really doesn’t start until you get back.”

In the main pool, you play around with the girls until you’re tired from swimming and the heat, and if it wasn’t for what Sunghoon said, you would have gone home already. You lay back in a lounge chair and close your eyes behind your sunglasses. You could probably fall asleep out here, feeling an odd comfort in the blood-curdling screams and mix of music playing from tiny bluetooth speakers all over the place. 

About five minutes later, you use your fingers to pick out a few pieces of Oreo from Yunjin’s ice cream, deciding they’ll be compensation for having to deal with the sticky dessert trickling down the cone and onto your fingers. Though in this heat, it doesn’t bother you so much.

On your trip back to your seat, you see Heeseung and Sunghoon by the locker room entrance. Standing in the shade, the two of them talk while Sunghoon lets a chunky pair of sunglasses rest on the back of his head, a sight that makes you clench your fist so hard the cone crunches under your fingers. You watch Heeseung’s face split into a grin while he throws his head back laughing, though Sunghoon presses his lips together in a straight line, clearly unimpressed. 

Yunjin jogs over to you, thanking you for the cone and complaining about how stingy Jungwoo’s being with the Oreo pieces these days but taking an appreciative lick anyway, letting her head fall back and a long hum of satisfaction buzz against her lips. “Just go over there and talk to him,” she says after a while. 

“Wow, YJ, thank you. I hadn’t thought of that.” 

She flips you off before walking away.

You don’t mean to catch his eye but he smiles when he sees you, waving when you wave. Heeseung waves too. If Sunghoon had been standing on his own you’d have no problem approaching him, but something about interrupting their conversation puts you off. Heeseung nods at you and calls out your name, inviting you to interrupt them. 

“It’s funny, we were just talking about you,” Heeseung says. You’re not sure how he wants you to respond to that, but Sunghoon looks at him with wide eyes, using his elbow to nudge his oversharing friend. “All good things, of course,” he adds on, raking a hand through his hair. 

“Who could have anything bad to say about you?” Sunghoon asks. 

Out of genuine concern, you ask if they’re okay, which only makes the two of them burst out laughing. Awkward laughter in the form of robotic ha ha has and forced applause. You’re not sure what to make of this, looking back and forth between them with a crease along your brow. High school was probably the last time you talked to Lee Heeseung, but besides the piercings and muscle definition he doesn’t seem to have changed much. 

“How have you been? How’s college?” Heeseung asks after wiping his left eye with the back of his hand. 

“I’ve been good. I saw you graduated last week, congrats!” 

He looks delighted at the mention of his own studies, missing the fact that you’re trying to avoid talking about yours. “Thank you!” he says, beaming. “Do you know what classes you’re taking this year?”

“No.” You shake your head. “You studied music, right?” 

An impossibly brighter grin spreads across his lips, eyes shining with genuine happiness as he nods. “Yeah, I majored in production actually. Best thing I ever did.”

For a while, Heeseung talks about his course though most of it goes over your head as jealousy burns in your stomach. The last three years have gone well enough for you to know that you’re more than just good at your major, so why, like him, can’t you enjoy it too? Right now, you want nothing more than for stupid Heeseung to shut up about his stupid career choices. 

Sunghoon interrupts the conversation, seeming to notice your mild irritation. “Hey, are you okay?” he asks, resting a hand on your shoulder.

He doesn’t seem convinced when you nod your head belatedly, clearing your throat. You do your best to focus on the burn of his hand on your skin and not your jealousy. 

Sunghoon looks over at Heeseung, giving him a look that the older boy takes as an invitation to leave, smiling at the both of you before waving goodbye. 

“What’s the matter?” His voice is much softer now that you’re alone, so comforting that you’re tempted to fall into his chest and tell him everything that’s ever upset you.

“What makes you think something’s the matter?”

“You were staring at Heeseung like you wanted to wipe the stupid smile off his face with a bullet.”  

“Actually, I think he has quite a nice smile,” you admit.

“Yeah,” Sunghoon agrees. “But it’s a little annoying, right? Like how everything just seems to go so well for him no matter what. Perfect guy with a perfect major, it’s a little hard not to be jealous of him when he talks like that.” 

“You don’t like what you study?” 

“It’s not my major I’m struggling with.” He lets out a dry laugh. “What about you?” 

A deep sigh rolls out of you, pulling your shoulders down. “I’m good at it so why stop, you know?” 

“Plenty of people stop things they’re good at.” The response comes quicker than you expect, in a defensive tone that makes you want to slice open his brain and take a look inside. “Sorry, I just mean if something isn’t making you happy, then it’s okay to stop. Right?” 

It doesn’t feel like he’s talking about you. “Right,” you affirm anyway. “It’s just that I only have a year left so the way I see it, I should just deal with it, graduate, and worry next summer instead. Uni sorta freaks me out is all,” you explain, shrugging in a way that you hope looks nonchalant. “I don’t like my course, and I don’t like talking about it, so let’s not talk about it.”

Sunghoon nods. “No talking about uni, got it,” he says, holding an imaginary pen and making a note of your words in the palm of his hand, with a tiny smile on his face that makes your stomach twist. “So, what do you like talking about?”

“Literally anything else.” 

“Look at us, so much in common.” There’s a hesitant look on his face, like he’s questioning his word choice but he smiles when you do, letting out a breathy laugh at the sound of a chuckle slipping out of you. 

“Hey, Sunghoon?” you ask after a beat, tilting your head and continuing when he hums. “Do you work here every day?” 

He shakes his head. “Just Monday through Thursday.”

“So, if I wanna see you, I could just come to the pool on those days?” 

“Yeah.” Even in the shade, it’s hard to miss the way his cheeks flush pink, and he scratches at the back of his neck while stifling a smile. “Exactly.” 

“And if it’s Friday or the weekend, and I wanna see you, I could just text you?” 

“Yeah, I think I’d like that.” That same smile curves on his lips, gentle, happy. 

You think you’d like that too. 

Sunghoon puts his number in your phone and you send a text so he has yours too.

The sun doesn’t set until late that night, and you spend the better part of the evening in the garden with your mum, catching the last moments of the sun’s rays from a blanket in the grass. The sound of her fingers against the keyboard is like a perfect mechanical OST for the summer romance you’re halfway through. Though knowing that the countdown in your email is set to strike zero in a matter of hours makes it difficult to concentrate on what’s going on in the made up beach town you’re reading about.

After a late dinner, you click the link to watch the countdown hit zero before refreshing the page. The stark white background of the login page stings your eyes in your dark room as you wait for the results page to load with a held breath. All three of your course titles are marked with MP for merit pass. A weight falls from your shoulders only to be replaced with another. 

The family group chat doesn’t seem to share your distress. Your dad hearts the message and sends a gif of Michael Scott clapping, your mum texts back that she’s so proud of her baby, and your older brother says KNEW U COULD DO IT! You throw your phone across the room, hiding your face in your pillow to muffle a scream. 

That night, you dream of graduation. Of crossing the stage and seeing the culmination of four long years on a flimsy piece of paper. The ceremony ends and behind closed eyes, you watch yourself sign your life away to a 9-to-5 in a field you hate, the same your brother had done. Drenched in a cold sweat, the nightmare jolts you awake. 

You spend all day in your room for fear of running into your mother and having to discuss your future.

The day after that, the familiar smell of coffee hits your nose as you walk by a cafe you used to frequent in high school, drowning yourself in hot chocolate in the winter and in sweet frozen lemonades in the summertime. If it wasn’t for your plans of seeing Chaewon you might’ve picked something up for nostalgia’s sake. 

Right when you think about her, she calls you. “Bring me a coffee,” Chaewon says. 

“What?” 

“Can you get me some coffee?” 

Looking over your shoulder, you fully expect to see Chaewon standing behind you or perched in one of the bushes across the street with a pair of binoculars. Her voice rings down the phone at you, at a volume you’re sure you would be able to hear if she was watching you from somewhere. “Hello?” 

“Yes, I’ll do it,” you say, ignoring the chill that runs down your spine and hanging up.

A bell rings above your head when you open the door, the cafe greeting you warmly like it always has. You admire its familiar green walls and the organic curves of its interior, from the sweeping archways to the round tables and chairs. Back then, you must have sat in each of them. 

You think you’re going crazy when you hear Sunghoon saying thanks, and you know you’re going crazy when you actually see him leaving the counter with his fingers wrapped around a vibrant orange iced drink. He doesn’t see you, focusing on the phone in his hand and the straw in his mouth, Adam’s apple bobbing in his throat with each sip. Sunghoon turns his back to you, walking towards a table in the far corner, his head moving to the beat of whatever song he’s listening to. He sits in the seat facing away from you, and you stare for so long that the barista has to say excuse me to get your attention. 

After apologising, you order Chaewon’s latte, giving her name over to the barista when she asks and waiting off to the side while she makes it. The whole time, you watch Sunghoon, willing him to look over at you. It doesn’t work.

Not in the way you’d been expecting, at least. Your phone vibrates against your palm.

sh: hey yn! are you doing anything nice today?

You grin at the back of his head. 

yn: seeing chaewon later :) hbu

sh: oh cool i hope you guys have fun!

sh: working later.. closing shift :/ 

When it’s ready, you collect Chaewon’s drink and approach Sunghoon’s table. He’s staring at his phone screen, where you see your conversation over his shoulder — even though it’s been five minutes since he texted you — and have to bite back a smile.

“Hey, you.” The words come out like you intended, light, pleased. 

Sunghoon jumps in his seat anyway, slamming his phone face down on the table and looking up at you. “YN,” he breathes. “Hey.” He wipes his palms on his pants. “What are you doing here?” 

“Same as you, I guess,” you grin, raising the cup in your hand. “Can I sit?” 

“Of course.” A beat passes while you take your seat and Sunghoon’s eyes don’t leave you once. 

It’s been a while since you last had a vanilla latte but it’s just as sweet as you remember when you try it, the ice doing a good job at keeping you cool. You tilt your head at the boy in front of you, checking the date on your phone. “It’s Friday today.” 

“Yeah…” Sunghoon squints at you, nodding his head slowly. “Oh, it’s Friday,” he says, seeming to figure out what you were getting at despite the lack of context. “There’s a girl I normally coach on Mondays at the rink, Hyein, but she couldn’t make it this week so we moved her session to this afternoon. To be clear though, I don’t normally work on Fridays. At the rink or otherwise.”

You nod, taking another sip of Chaewon’s coffee and angling the cup so he can’t see her name written on the side of it. 

“So, if you wanted to see me, on a Friday, or over the weekend, you could still text me about that.” 

Smiling, you nod. “Good to know. Do you work Monday to Thursday at the rink as well?” you ask, curiosity getting the better of you.

Sunlight spills through the tiled windows, warming your skin through the glass. Over his shoulder, the bell by the door rings incessantly and under the sun’s rays, flecks of amber glow in his eyes that crinkle at the corners, a dimple peeking at you as he shakes his head.

“I have my own training at 6 on Tuesdays, Wednesdays, and Thursdays, and then I teach kids classes on Monday and Tuesday nights, and I see Hyein on Monday mornings.”

“6 a.m.?”

“No, our sessions start at 10.”

“I mean your training, you start at 6 in the morning?” 

“Oh.” He nods. “Yeah,” he says, shrugging. 

“Fuck, that’s so early, I could never.” 

“I mean, that was just my training block during school. 6 to 7:45, so I’d go to the rink, back home to shower, and go to school when I could.” A beat passes before he speaks again, using his straw to stir his drink. “But that was mainly during, like, off-season. If I had competitions coming up then I’d spend entire days at the rink, or dance class, in the gym, so I missed a lot of school.” 

You nod. “I remember.” 

Sunghoon’s eyes flash with something, as his brows knit together for barely a second. He smiles. “Anyway, I did try later sessions when I started college but I was so used to my early sessions that I’d still wake up at 5 a.m. even though my classes didn’t start until the afternoon.” 

There’s a sparkle in his eyes when you ask about Hyein, and excitement in his voice while he tells you all about her. About how much potential she has, even though she doesn’t seem to realise it; about how much better she’s gotten in the year since they met and how similar she is to him at her age.

After a very slow walk with Sunghoon, you reach Chaewon’s place. It doesn’t hit you that you’re empty-handed until she opens the door and frowns at you, asking where you’ve been and what happened to her coffee.

It starts to feel like you’re running out of friends to take to the pool when, a few days later, the entire girls chat is too busy to come along, and Lee Jeno from an engineering lecture you took two years ago sits in the chair next to you, lazily flipping through an old copy of Dazed Magazine. Even if only as a last resort, Jeno makes good company seeing as you like the funny Tiktoks he shows you and the way he sneaks vodka into your slushy behind your towel. 

For a while, you pretend not to care about Sunghoon’s absence in hopes he’ll spawn from the pool’s deep end. Surprisingly, he does not. And just like that, an ugly pattern is formed: you go to the pool, wait all day for Sunghoon, and eventually, stumble back home in a daze from alcohol or sunstroke. 

It takes four and a half more, uneventful, Sunghoonless visits to the pool to leave you trying not to tear your hair out at Chaewon’s dining table. 

Kazuha serves as a good distraction though, making you quiz her on the details of Kim Yeri’s driving licence so she can come out to the club with you guys. Between the two girls looking nothing alike and Kazuha thinking a March birthday makes her a Sagittarius, you’re not hopeful. 

When she goes to the toilet, you check your phone just to be sure Sunghoon hasn’t texted in the twelve minutes since you last checked. And like before, the only messages you find are from Yeonjun asking if you’re “tryna slide” later. You aren’t, and haven’t been for the last two weeks he’d been asking. Completely unrelated to a certain blond lifeguard, of course. You sigh, thinking of Sunghoon again and why he hasn’t texted yet.

There’s nothing stopping you from sending the first text (today) — except for the fact that you’d been texting back and forth until you accidentally aired him at the start of the week. Unless you’re trying to hook up, you never send the first message. And as much as you would like to hook up with Sunghoon, there’s something about him that’s too endearing to only experience in the quiet of a backseat at 3 a.m., or in your room when no one’s home.

Four shots and a lot of egging on seem to be all you need to make your way to Sunghoon’s DMs. You let Chaewon and Kazuha debate over what your opening message should be, and with shaky thumbs, you type out something simple. Much to your friend’s (and your own) disappointment, you eventually settle on hey handsome. 

sh: hiiiiiiiiiii

For a while, you watch as Sunghoon types and stops and types and stops before his message comes through. 

sh: pretty

You can’t help the giggle that comes out, clearing your throat when Chaewon raises a brow at you. The two of you hold eye contact for a beat before erupting into a fit of laughter. 

you: i haven’t seen you at the pool in a while and i was wondering if you’re ok..

sh: yn.. have you been at my workplac e waiitng for me to show up again ???

you: are you ok.

sh: i think it’s cute that you did that, my friends tol d me they saw you there every day this week

you: why are your friends reporting my whereabouts to you..

sh: i asked them to, also im good i just took some days off

sh: back monday am i gonna see u then?

you: or we could just see each other on one of your off days?

On the left side of the screen, you watch animated ellipses dance above the keyboard before halting, though no message comes to replace them and it doesn’t take you long to figure out that the message hasn’t come through because your phone is frozen. 

Right?

You let out a laugh at your stupidity while Chaewon looks at you like you’re insane, turning off your phone and letting it sit for a bit before turning it back on. Wasting no time, you go straight to Instagram and pull up the DM thread where the word seen sits underneath your last message, laughing at you. 

Perplexed by what seems like your first rejection ever, you’re not quite sure how to move on so you send a text to the group chat (mainly for Yunjin, the only one who isn’t present). Yunjin replies with a message suggesting Sunghoon’s phone died. In the chair opposite, Chaewon suggests maybe he died. Jaehyun brings you more shots to cope with your heartache and you clutch your stomach laughing when he squirts lime juice into his eye.

Because your friends don’t respect you, you end up in the middle seat when the Uber arrives; sandwiched between Chaewon and Kazuha, drinking as much vodka as you can stomach from the younger girl’s flask while she mutters March 5th, Taurus over and over again. 

All that hard work was done in vain, though; when you reach the club Kazuha insists on being the first to go up in line, and tears start streaming when the bouncer asks what part of Seoul she was born in. Yeri’s ID gets confiscated and the four of you pile into another Uber and head to your backup plan, which you only learn about when the car pulls up.

Living in another city for uni means you’ve never partied with Sunghoon’s friends before — beyond walking by each other in a club — and some combination of excitement and alcohol makes your stomach heat up as you think about seeing him again.

Nishimura Riki’s family home is a giant structure that takes up more room than what’s probably necessary. There’s a massive fountain in the middle of the driveway shooting a stream, out of the mouth of what you think is a lion, into its main bed of water. The grand front door has banners criss-crossed over it saying HAPPY BIRTHDAY KIM SUNOO! Before you reach it, the door swings open and Jay’s jaw is even sharper than you remember when you see him so close. He grins at you and your friends, whooping obnoxiously at the sight of Jaehyun, dapping him up before waving awkwardly at you, Chaewon and Kazuha. You watch him lean over to Jaehyun and ask if that chick’s okay, while not so subtly pointing at the youngest of you all. 

When you look at her, black streaks of mascara tear through her blush like a knife though she wears a bright smile as she eyes Jay like a predator. You nudge her in the ribs and make a mental note to find a bathroom to help her fix her makeup. She frowns when you take her hand and enter the house, leaving Chaewon with Jaehyun and Jay, the three of which chat easily with one another.

Upstairs in the main bathroom, you kneel on the floor between Kazuha’s legs, gently running a makeup wipe over her face while she sits on the lid of the toilet babbling about Jay. “He’s the one,” she says determinedly. “I mean, he was worried about me.. he barely knows me and he was asking if I was okay. Like, how did he know I’d been upset?” You wonder if Kazuha has seen her face in the last half hour. Or if she knows why you insisted on taking her makeup off. 

“Right,” you nod, knowing it’s easier to agree with a drunk Kazuha than face an argument.

“It’s a feeling. Like, sometimes you just have to look through the eyes of your soul, and everything will work out.”

It’s amazing to you that she can say the things she says without laughing. But there’s a finality in her tone that makes you hope she’s right. 

With Kazuha all cleaned up, you’re able to focus on how crammed the house actually is. There are people in every room of the house, sitting on the porch, in the backyard. People are everywhere and you’re not sure you’ll ever manage to reunite with your friends. In favour of getting to know Jay, Kazuha presses a kiss to your cheek and runs off in the opposite direction. You head for the kitchen knowing that Chaewon will most likely be in there somewhere, batting her lashes at a tall graduate in hopes to score a free smoke. 

People are grinding and hanging off one another in the hall and the living room, making out by the stairs, and in what looks like the only empty spot in the kitchen Sunghoon leans against the counter, taking generous gulps from something in a red cup. Judging by his smart trousers and pretty black cardigan, Sunghoon has also developed a personal style in the time since you’ve last been home. A dent forms in Sunghoon’s cheek when he sees you, a sweet crinkle in his eyes as he says hi! 

You can’t figure out whether you should hug him or not but he looks so sweet with his wide smile and flushed cheeks that your arms widen of their own accord. His embrace is gentle, wrapping you up in a mixture of toned arms, soft cotton, liquor, and something light, floral, you think. 

“Can I fix you something to drink?” Sunghoon asks quietly, you only just hear him before he lets you go. “I didn’t think you’d be here tonight,” he says, reaching over the counter to grab a cup for you. 

“Yeah, I didn’t either.” 

“I was your backup plan?” 

“Oh, come on.” You nudge his shoulder with your hand as he screws the cap back on a bottle of lemonade. “I wouldn’t use those words. If I’d known about the party you would’ve been the plan.” 

“I thought you wouldn’t use those words.”

“You’re using those words,” you say, grinning when he laughs. 

You both go back and forth on it for a while, as Sunghoon tries to find Malibu in the mess of bottles cluttering the countertop. A wide grin spreads across his face when he does and you watch him fill the empty space in your cup before handing it to you. 

The first sip is syrupy sweet on your tongue, forcing an appreciative hum out of you. “So good,” you say through a dreamy sigh, shaking your head before taking another gulp. 

From his nose, he lets out a breathy laugh, his lips quirking up at the corners as he watches you. “It’s good to know my bartending classes are paying off.” 

“Have you ever considered a recipe book?” you ask, putting the cup down next to your phone, looking up at Sunghoon who seems to seriously consider this for a while before nodding. 

Almost experimentally, he rests his hand on your hip. “I’m sorry about earlier,” he tells you, holding you a little closer when he sees that you’re okay with it. 

You tilt your head at him, pretending not to remember the way he’d left you on read. “What happened earlier?” 

“On.. iMessage,” he starts, trailing off at the end though he continues when you nod. “I’m not good at talking to pretty girls.”

Despite not fully believing him, there’s a sincerity in his voice that makes your stomach flutter. “Lucky for you, I’m very good at talking to pretty boys.” 

You can’t tell if he’s flustered or drunk, but his cheeks redden after you speak. 

“Pretty boys, me?” 

“Who else?” 

Sunghoon’s laugh comes out in ha ha ha’s, and if you couldn’t see the way his eyes crinkled up you might have thought he was faking it.

For a moment, his gaze flickers between your eyes and mouth, his tongue darts out to wet his lips, and he speaks. “I don’t want you thinking I’m not interested or anything.” His voice is low, almost too quiet for the cramped space where Me and Your Mama bounces off the walls and rowdy kids constantly bump into you. 

With his hand still burning through your dress, he nudges you, turning you both around to take your place. Your ass rests against the edge of the countertop and the drunk students bump into him instead. “I’m just.. still figuring out how to stop being so shy all the time,” he says, using his thumb to lift the fallen strap of your dress.

You’re having a tough time believing him. If this is what being so shy looks like for Sunghoon, you’re terrified to see him being confident. 

The heat of his lingering hand against your bare shoulder only leaves you drawing a blank. Part of you feels silly for saying that you’re very good at talking to pretty boys. You’re way out of your depth right now.

“But you,” he trails off, looking between your eyes and lips again. His hand starts to tremble against your waist. “You make it so hard.” 

“I do?” you ask dumbly, at a complete loss for words, trying not to read too much into his word choice. Why, anyone could say that word, hard, and not mean anything by it, it’s a word after all. An adjective, you think. 

Get out of your head. 

“Mm,” Sunghoon nods solemnly. “You have no idea.”

Three people nudge past you, each one shoving into him harder than the last; he looks thankful when you suggest going outside. His fingers brush against yours before he pulls them away, turning around to head for the garden immediately. 

The smell of smoke spikes through the fresh air, strong enough to make your head swim as Sunghoon closes the back door behind you. “Wow,” you whisper, looking around. It’s like stepping into a whole new party, with slow R&B pumping out into the summer heat. The garden spills out way beyond what your eyes can see, glowing with twinkling fairy lights and excited chatter.

“I know, right.” 

There’s a two step staircase in the centre that you follow Sunghoon up, mumbling an apology to the couple whose makeout sesh you had to break up to do so. Both of your footsteps crunch against the stone path that splits the grass, and — at Sunghoon’s request — you tell him everything that led you to this party tonight. Leaving out all of the overthinking that went into the text you eventually sent him of course.

“Wait, how old is Kazuha?” 

“21, she’s just waiting on her new ID coming in the mail.” 

“What happened to her old one?” 

“I think she’s like.. 13 or something in her old photo, and we didn’t get in last week either ‘cause the bouncer didn’t think it was her,” you pause. “Or she just looked too young in the photo. I’m not sure.”

You can hear Sunghoon humming along to the SZA song that’s playing, tilting his head at your words. His brows knit together for a beat, and he has to grab you by the forearm to keep you from tripping over your own feet. Sunghoon’s eyes meet yours, as he maintains his grip on you. “Thanks,” you say through a breath, trying to focus on anything other than his touch. 

“Let’s sit, yeah?” 

Sunghoon rests his arm around your shoulders when you nod, keeping you upright as you walk slowly towards the back of the garden. “I don’t know where you guys go out, but one time, we put Riki in a dress and gave him Hwang Yeji’s ID.”

“And then stayed home?” The mental image makes you cackle, getting funnier with each second you dwell on it, but your breath catches in your throat when you look up at him, shaking his head as best as he can while laughing. The way his head falls back, showing off the column of his neck and angle of his jaw forces you to screw your eyes shut to stop the thoughts of kissing him there. 

“And then took him to the club with us and got him to buy our first round.”

With each thing he shares about that night, it grows more and more unbelievable, leaving your jaw on the floor as he leads you around a timber shed (that houses a hot tub) to a big swingy chair thing. “I’ll find the photos in a sec,” he smiles. “Let me hold your cup while you sit.” 

The spot provides about as much privacy as you figure a packed house party could afford. Not that you need privacy to be endeared by Sunghoon or anything. You take him up on his offer, sitting down and watching as he ignores the phone ringing in his pocket, handing you back your drink. Even though you’re not thrilled about the interruption, you tell him he should at least check who it is. 

“Jungwon?” He flinches, yanking the phone away from his ear. Jungwon’s voice is so loud you can hear him despite the distance. “Yeah I got it, I’m at the swing outside.” The call ends there and Sunghoon still doesn’t sit down and neither of you speaks. 

Blinking fairy lights are strung neatly around the swing’s frame. Only a few of the bulbs are working, but together they produce enough light for you to see the sun-bleached blue of the cushion you’re sitting on, and the way Sunghoon’s looking straight at you. You smile. He doesn’t budge. Instead, he worries his bottom lip with his teeth for a while, completely spaced out, until a broad-shouldered child arrives. 

Sunghoon daps him up and your brows raise when he pulls a short, flat bottle of vodka from his back pocket to give to Jungwon. “How much do I owe you?” he asks, taking the bottle. 

“For the drink or for the lifelong tab you and Riki have been racking up?” 

Chuckling, Jungwon shakes his head and points his thumb at Sunghoon. “Don’t you just love that sense of humour?”

The two boys share a look, and Jungwon nods in understanding. He affectionately pats Sunghoon’s bicep, face lighting up in awe. “Wow!” he gasps, turning to glance at you. “Have you felt the muscles on this guy? I wanna be just like him when I grow up.” With wide eyes, he nudges Sunghoon in your direction. 

Despite his apparent indifference towards Jungwon’s attempts at hyping him up, Sunghoon comes closer to you, letting you feel his arm anyway. He flexes his bicep — all firm, sculpted muscle through his soft cardigan — under your fingers in a way that spreads fire in your stomach. Unintentionally, you catch his gaze and your breath gets stuck in your throat. A quiet laugh slips from his lips as he puts his arm down. 

It’s hard not to think about what Jungwon had said about growing up, and even harder not to study him to figure out his age. His outfit is similar to Sunghoon’s; loose pants and a knitted cardigan which does nothing to help you make an estimate. Not being able to buy his own booze tells you that he’s not your age, his wide eyes and round cheeks only make him seem like a child, but his height and broad shoulders throw you off.

“How old are you?” you ask, giving in to your curiosity. 

“21,” he says, too quickly. “.. in two years.” 

He lingers for a bit to hype Sunghoon up some more; not so subtly bringing up his great qualities, like his considerate nature and unwavering dedication. Though Sunghoon’s “never ending” patience wears out and he asks him to leave. With a nod, Jungwon waves goodbye before sprinting back towards the house. Sunghoon laughs watching his friend and sinks into the seat next to you, his thigh pressing against yours for a beat before he closes his legs and rests his arms over the back of the chair.

“Wow,” you grin, leaning into his side. “Figure skating legend Park Sunghoon buys alcohol for kids.” 

He shrugs. “I’m not a legend.” 

You raise a brow, a smirk playing at your lips. “That’s the part you’re disputing?”

“Well, the other part is true,” he says, chuckling though unable to hide the flash of discomfort in his eyes. “If you consider a 19-year-old a kid.” 

“You’re way too humble.”

“Anyone could be good with the right coach, and I have, like, the most supportive parents ever so they help me a lot.”  

“Well, yeah, probably, but even then, your parents aren’t the ones skating, you are,” you point out. 

Sunghoon deflates, sighing heavily. “Can we talk about something else?” He takes a sip from his cup in a silent plea for you to drop it. When his eyes meet yours, his lips press into a flat smile and the soft lighting brings out the dimple in his cheek. 

You nod, using your hand to push his hair away from his forehead. The flat smile spreads across his face as you play with his light hair, that’s somehow silky smooth under your fingers despite the bleach. It’s a little messy when you move your hand, sitting over his thick brows in a way that, when paired with his boyish grin, makes him look younger. 

A dull thump startles both of you as a couple jog away from the shed with linked hands and no regard for you or Sunghoon. Neither of you bother trying to hide your amusement when you meet each other’s eyes, laughing hard enough to make the swing sway. 

“I’m sorry,” you say after calming down — maybe too late. 

He shakes his head. “You don’t have to be.”

The smile on his face is soft, sincere, but does nothing for the guilt you feel over stressing him out — your lips tug into a frown.

“Hey,” Sunghoon whispers and his forehead is warm against yours when he nudges you, grinning at the way you giggle when he pulls away. “I’m not upset or anything.” he pauses. “I don’t think I’m upset or anything, I’m just tired, you know. I spend a lot of time talking about skating during the day and there’s, like, a million and one other things I’d rather talk about right now.”

His honesty assuages your guilt and piques your curiosity. “Yeah?” you ask, arching a brow. Sunghoon nods. “Other things like..” 

He hesitates, caught off by the suggestiveness in your tone, by the way your hand grazes his knee before resting low on his thigh. A gulp echoes in his throat. “Uh, like..” His voice trails off. 

There’s a flutter in your chest as a smile tugs at your lips. “Why don’t we start with those pictures of Riki at the club?” 

“Riki at the club,” he repeats, nodding his head. “I can do that.” 

Sunghoon’s arm falls around your shoulders when you nestle into him, close enough now that his scent hits you effortlessly. A tiny square in his camera roll expands under his thumb, showing you Riki in a tight black halter dress with his hair grown out and styled in neat curls. There’s a boxy grin spread across his lips while he holds Yeji’s ID next to his face. In the next picture, he crouches between Shin Ryujin and Lee Chaeryeong while the three of them make kissy faces for the camera. “And then he had two shots of Fireball and passed out in a booth so we had to carry him home.” 

A laugh bubbles in your throat at the sight of Riki hunched over in a booth with his head on the table, and tears start to spill when you watch the video of Heeseung stumbling down the street, accidentally letting Riki slip off his back and onto the concrete. 

Out of nowhere, Sunghoon’s eyes practically bulge out of his head; an expression you’ve only seen on Kazuha whenever she suspects she left her flat iron on at home. Dread settles in your stomach as you brace yourself for what he might say next. “Just give me a minute,” he says, his words holding an urgency that only fuels your nerves. “I need to text someone.” 

Sunghoon thinking about talking to someone else while you’re trying to get to know him isn’t your favourite thing. In fact, it feels worse than what you imagine might happen if Kazuha actually does leave her flat iron on one day — because it shuts off automatically after 15 minutes.

You try hiding your disappointment but you can feel your lips drooping at the corners as he angles his phone away from you, deep in thought about this message he so urgently has to send. Whatever, you think. Couldn’t care less.

At long last, he finishes typing and pulls air through his teeth before putting his phone back in his pocket, drumming his nails against the seat until your phone goes off in your lap. In a fit of Kazuha-inspired absurdity, you want Sunghoon to feel bad about his lack of manners, so you ignore the notification despite your burning curiosity.

“Aren’t you gonna get that?” he asks, his gaze fixed on you expectantly. 

You shake your head. “It can wait.” 

A frown creases Sunghoon’s brow and you hate it; checking your phone immediately to find two texts from the boy sitting next to you.

sh: hey yn! sorry i took so long

sh: if it’s not too late do u wNt to go on a date with me next saturday?

After six days of exchanging Spotify links with Sunghoon over text, Saturday rolls around, and the doorbell chimes earlier than you’d been expecting it to. You call out that you’ll get the door, grab your bag and bolt down the stairs. With a hand on the door handle, you catch your breath, an act that seems pointless when you see Sunghoon through the glass. The door creaks open and his neck snaps in your direction, jaw falling to the floor. 

He waves. 

Your greeting is followed only by silence, your Hey, Sunghoon, dissipating into the sticky summer heat as he chews on his cheek, letting his eyes scan your body over and over. If he didn’t look so nervous you might have offered to pose for a picture. “How are you?” you ask, locking the door behind you and double-checking that you did lock it before tossing your keys into your purse. 

“You’re so pretty,” he sighs, pushing his hand through his hair. “And I love your dress,” he adds. “Very pretty.”

“Yeah?”

Sunghoon nods and suddenly, your group FaceTime call with Chaewon, Minjeong, and Yunjin feels like two hours well spent. 

While you tried on every summer outfit in your wardrobe for them to judge, Minjeong gave enthusiastic reactions to Sunghoon’s tagged photos, or, rather, to Mark in Sunghoon’s tagged photos but even she was struck by the outfit you settled on. The pretty floral dress that sits at the middle of your thighs that Sunghoon can’t seem to look away from. Hopefully, you’ll remember to thank them appropriately. 

You follow him to his car where he opens the passenger door for you. Struck by the fact that this is the first time anyone’s done that for you, and the sound of his hand rattling against the metal, you sit down, beaming up at him as he closes the door. Sunghoon’s car is neat, and tidy, and smells pleasantly of the new car scent Little Tree that hangs, completely still, from his rearview mirror. Through the clean windscreen, you watch him walk around the front of the car with pursed lips. 

“You like ice cream, right?” he asks when he sits down, looking over at you nervously. 

“Who doesn’t like ice cream?” 

Sunghoon takes you to a little old diner themed ice cream spot with checkerboard floors and a handful of plush vinyl booths. Some of the walls have cursive LED signs that you can’t quite make out and a great big jukebox in the back corner plays What Makes You Beautiful. 

It doesn’t surprise you that Sunghoon is quiet when it’s just you guys, but you can tell that he’s trying his best. He listens attentively to everything you have to say, nodding his head and asking thoughtful questions at all the right times; he makes you laugh more than you ever have. He practically lights up when you bring up his friends. 

“Your friends are so cute,” you say with a smile, thinking of the change Riki had given Yunjin to buy those slushys the other day. 

“If you knew my friends you wouldn’t think that,” Sunghoon says, a fond smile that goes against his words spreading on his face at the mention of them. “Except Jake,” he corrects. “Jake is so cute, yes.” 

“I don’t think I know which one he is,” you admit. “I know Heeseung, I know Jay, Jungwon, and Riki..” you trail off, looking up at him and the smudge of ice cream on his lower lip.

“Jake is the cute one,” he frowns. “You’ll know him when I show you.” Sunghoon takes his phone from his pocket, scrolling for a while. “I’m sorry, I can’t find a normal photo of all seven of us.” 

“Just show me whatever,” you say, looking up at him and the smudge of ice cream on his bottom lip.

Without thinking, you reach over the table, using your thumb to wipe it away. Sunghoon’s cheeks immediately flush with pink and he gulps watching you suck the ice cream from the pad of your finger.

“Thanks,” he mumbles, shy, while turning his phone towards you to show the most absurdly staged photograph you think you’ve ever seen. “So, uh, Jake is.. he’s the one holding Heeseung up by his hair, and Sunoo’s posing in front of Jay.” Sunghoon hands you his phone when he’s done talking.

You use the opportunity to examine the picture. 

Jake (so cute) really does hold Heeseung up by his hair, and Sunoo (also so cute) shows the camera his pretty side profile and a thumbs up. Some other things stick out to you in the photo, a laugh making its way out of you as you notice that Jungwon isn’t there but Jay holds up a printed picture of him in his right hand. Riki sits between Jay and Jake, wearing a concerned expression about something going on off-camera. Sunghoon is in the back, holding what looks like a yoga pose on the back of the couch they’re sitting on. 

Happily, you let Sunghoon tell you more about his friends until the sun starts to set and the backs of your thighs stick to the vinyl seat. Not quite ready to say goodbye, you ask Sunghoon if you can go on a walk together. He seems into the idea, nodding his head and smiling down at you. 

Walking aimlessly, the two of you maintain a neutral silence (not uncomfortable, not particularly comfortable either, just quiet), and pretend not to notice the way the backs of your hands touch, each bump longer than the last though amounting to nothing. 

It’s not until comforted by the smell of chemically treated water that you realise how close to the pool you are. You follow Sunghoon around a corner and see the locked gates, wondering if he’d brought you this way on purpose or just out of habit. 

“Wish it was open,” you say off-handedly, not really meaning anything by it. Like telling the person you sit beside on the first day of class that you’re so tired even though you had the best night of sleep in your life. 

Sunghoon isn’t beside you when you look over at him, he’s a few paces behind you, standing by the gates. A mischievous smile spreads on his lips as he holds his keys in his hand, dangling them. “It could be.” 

“Are we allowed to do this?” you ask nervously, watching Sunghoon twist his key in the lock. 

“Allowed to?” he repeats, tilting his head as though the concept is foreign to him. “No, I don’t think so.” A satisfying click sounds as the lock comes undone and Sunghoon pushes the gate open with a huge grin on his face as he gestures for you to go inside first. “After you.” 

He follows you in, shutting the gate behind him and holding out a hand for you to take; you lock your fingers with his and decide that you never want to let go. Not even after a thin layer of sweat forms between your palms. 

The space seems so large when it’s empty like this, with the parasols closed and the lack of screaming children. Streetlights cover the area in a dim orange haze, turning it into a fuzzy dreamscape. The pool itself seems so small when you see it covered up, nothing like the ocean-wide abyss you remember it being when you were young, racing with Chaewon, or pretending like you were only playing around when you tried to drown Jaehyun. 

“Do you wanna get in?” Sunghoon asks, his soft voice interrupting your thoughts. 

You don’t hesitate to nod. 

One night a week, the pool stays open until after dark, but you’ve never been. So when the mechanised pool cover whirs open after Sunghoon flips the switch, you’re shocked by the lights that illuminate the still water. It makes sense that the pool would have some form of lighting for safety, but you hadn’t expected the yellowing fixtures set in the tiled walls to shine so beautifully.

“Come on,” he says, taking you by the hand again, approaching the water. 

A part of you wants to protest when he lets go, but the words catch in your throat as he pulls his shirt over his head. Having spent the better part of most summers poolside, the sight of shirtless Sunghoon isn’t a new one though you find yourself breathless all the same. It’s different tonight but he doesn’t seem to notice. 

Worried you’ll break the spell, you can’t bring yourself to speak. Worried you’ll open your mouth and the moment might slip out from under you. These worries, however, are no match for Sunghoon’s slim waist which leaves your mouth forming an O at the sight. 

“Wow,” you whisper, awestruck. 

Sunghoon laughs, nervously, running a hand through his hair and using the other to hold his shirt over his stomach. “Don’t do that,” he says under his breath. He drops the shirt. The rest of his clothes follow, quickly leaving him in only his tight-fitting black boxer briefs that you struggle to look away from. 

An odd feeling starts to creep in, causing a fire in your belly — obviously from the sweet cider you had earlier, nothing at all to do with Sunghoon. Or his sculpted torso. Or his face, with his soft smile, and sparkling eyes. No one’s ever looked at you like this before.

“What are you thinking about?” 

Those shoulders. Those lips. Kissing those lips. You gulp. “Nothing.” 

Even though he doesn’t look like he believes you, he doesn’t press you on it. Instead, he smiles. Sunghoon turns his back to you, walking towards the pool’s edge to dip a pointed toe into the water. You like the way he hums, nodding his head as if it’s just to his liking. 

“Feels good?”

“Perfect,” he grins, stepping into the pool. 

A splash makes the water ripple around him — you’ve never noticed it’s so clear, you can see everything. From the mosaic-like blue tiles on the pool floor and walls to the way Sunghoon’s hair moves around his head. It’s a dazzling blue, shifting brilliantly through the whole spectrum under light from the moon, the pool, and the lampposts. 

Considering the way you’re sweating in the sticky heat, the water even looks refreshing, so you’re not sure why you don’t move to pull your dress off; or why you can’t shake your nerves. Sunghoon’s seen you in skin-tight dresses, and skimpy bikinis, so you’re not sure why the thought of him seeing you in your underwear is spooking you so much. It could be your lack of a bra. But even then, Sunghoon isn’t going to be the first person to see your bare breasts.

Interrupting your thoughts, he bobs to the surface with closed eyes and straight lips; his dimple shows. Pushing hair from his forehead, he asks if you’re going to join him though he seems to sense your apprehension, shaking his head. “You don’t have to take anything off,” he tells you gently. “Except maybe your shoes and socks.” 

You nod, stepping out of your shoes and pulling your socks off almost robotically. 

“It’s okay,” he smiles, comforting, reassuring, as he swims up to the edge of the pool and extends his wet hand to you. “I got you.”

You tell yourself to get out of your head, looking into Sunghoon’s sparkling eyes and feeling at ease from the way he looks up at you like you’re God’s gift. When you reach for the bottom of your dress, he gulps, his arm falling limply against the coping. You turn away from him to pull the light fabric over your head, letting it fall in a heap next to your shoes, and Sunghoon’s looking in the other direction when you turn back around. Even with the ‘privacy’ he’s afforded you by looking away, you can’t help but use your arms to cover your chest as you make your way over to the pool, sitting down on the edge and slipping into the water. 

It is refreshing. The water is the perfect temperature as it envelops you, soothes you.

Just more than an arm’s length away, Sunghoon’s form is broad. His shoulders are so wide and his back so toned that your head starts to swim. His skin, sunkissed, glowing, is dotted with pretty moles that you’ve never noticed before but can’t look away from — suddenly feeling as though you could point to each one with your eyes closed. 

With an odd half step, you reach him, letting your arms fall around his waist and pressing your chest to his back. You don’t know why you do that.

He draws a sharp breath. “Hi,” he whispers after a beat. 

“Hi.” 

A quiet falls between you until Sunghoon mumbles, over there, while pointing towards the deep end of the pool. You swim poorly behind him and he only stops when you call out his name. Sunghoon breaks out into laughter when he sees you. For him, who’s well into the deep end, the, now still, water might tease his chin if disrupted. For you, almost 2 metres behind, the water tickles your nose even when you stand on your tiptoes.

“Whoa,” he whispers. 

You tilt your head back to speak. “What?” 

“You’re just..” He pauses to gulp. “So short.”  

Offended, you scoff. “I’m the tallest out of all my friends,” you say defensively. And untruthfully — hoping he’s never seen you standing next to Yunjin.

“Are you friends with the Lakers?”

You drift away from him, laughing as well, until the water just about reaches your armpits. He follows you. As more of his body breaches the surface, water slips from his chest, droplets and streaks glowing under the white light of the moon, completely breathtaking.

“I was so nervous about today,” he says, pushing some water towards you, his lighthearted tone gone. 

“Oh?” You pause, continuing when he nods, and push water back in his direction. “How do you feel now?” 

Sunghoon’s pouty lips jerk up the corners, playful, boyish. A soft laugh slips from the space between his teeth. “I’m absolutely terrified.” His honesty draws you to him, and has you actually drifting closer in the water.

“What’s scaring you?” 

His breath seems to catch in his throat. He tilts his head while eyeing you. “Are you asking because you really don’t know?” If you’d still been splashing each other you doubt you’d have heard him talking over the water.

“Does it matter?”

Sunghoon seems to consider this for a moment, to consider you. Despite sitting just high enough to cover your breasts, the water doesn’t do very much to conceal them and his eyes get stuck on your chest for more than a little while. He clears his throat, looking back up at your face. He doesn’t answer. Instead, he raises his hands and smacks the surface of the water between you with open palms. A big splash hits you in the face. 

It’s on, you think, doing the same thing to him with all the force you can muster and laugh at the yelp he lets out. Something of a splash fight ensues, both of you doing everything you can to create a bigger mess of water to attack the other with. 

The rain starts so subtly that you don’t even notice it at first. You’re both too busy laughing and trying to splash the other harder to think about anything else. Only when you stop to catch your breath, to rest your aching arms, do you catch the faint ripples skating across the pool’s surface. Sunghoon doesn’t relent, taking the opportunity to gain the upper hand. And the rain gets heavy fast.

“Sunghoon, it’s raining, stop!” you call out, turning your face away from him. His raucous laughter makes your stomach flutter as you grab his wrist. “Come on, we’re gonna get wet, we have to go!” 

When you look back over at him, his smile is so wide, so sweet that you almost feel faint. Sunghoon doesn’t stop laughing, the sound is so contagious you can’t help but join in. His arms fall around your waist like it’s the most natural thing in the world to do while he cackles in front of you, you let your hands rest on his firm triceps. 

Large droplets start hitting your lashes, clinging to them, obscuring your vision, so you bring a hand up to act like an awning above your eyes. He calls you so cute under his breath though his laughter doesn’t seem like it’s going to stop anytime soon. 

“Hoon, come on. What’s so funny?”

The rain is cold against your shoulders but the boy in front of you doesn’t seem to share your concerns about the sudden downpour. You lock eyes with him, and his laughter seems to get caught in his throat. He’s still smiling but seems nervous, as though he’s only now become aware that he’s holding you so close that your naked chest is pressed against his. 

Sunghoon clears his throat. His smile returns, as a breathy laugh makes its way from his nose. He lets his face come down towards yours, slow, cautious, and too desperate to wait, you meet his lips halfway; they’re every bit as soft as you’d imagined. 

As if relieved, Sunghoon’s shoulders sag and his body seems to melt into your own. Desperation, hunger hits you from all angles, lighting up your insides and leaving your skin burning under his touch. Unthinkingly, you link your arms around his neck to pull him impossibly close, almost whimpering when his tongue grazes yours.

Sunghoon tastes light and sugary, like the perfect combination of artificial strawberry and sweet coffee as his tongue moves against yours. From your mouth into his slips a dreamy sigh, while he holds onto you gently, like you’re the most delicate thing in the world; like he’s the most delicate thing. Why haven’t you been kissed like this before? So slowly, so softly, as if he means it. As if he’s kissing you for no reason other than simply wanting to kiss you. 

Only when he pulls away to catch his breath do you regain your senses and notice how much heavier the rain has become. But your brain short circuits at the sight of him. His breathing is ragged, his chest rises and falls against yours. Water darkened hair clings to his forehead, letting beads slip from its ends to his cheekbone before slipping down the column of his neck.

Shelter is the only word you manage to say and all you can do is hope that he’s able to work out the rest. Like something from the purest depths of your imagination, Sunghoon’s kiss-bitten lips stretch into a wide smile. A giggle, the softest thing you’ve ever come across, slips from his mouth while his fingers squeeze at your hips. 

“YN,” he says, breathless. “We’re in the pool.”

Dripping water onto the concrete under your feet, you and Sunghoon walk at snail’s pace from his car to your front door, with your linked hands swinging between your bodies. 

The porch light diffuses dramatically over Sunghoon’s features, and somehow, even under the stark lighting, he’s still beautiful. His wet hair drips water onto his shoulders, darkening his shirt in abstract splashes around the neckline. A grin splits across his lips when he locks eyes with you, his face scrunching up and his shoulders racking up and down as he laughs to himself. 

It’s impossible not to join in. “What’s so funny?” 

He only shrugs in response, struggling to keep a straight face. “I’m just.. happy,” he says eventually, a tinge of uncertainty hanging from his words. 

With shaking hands, Sunghoon grabs you by the waist and holds you close, leaning down to kiss you. As your lips move with his, the only thing you can think about is how badly you want to feel this moment forever. To feel the tremble in sweet Sunghoon’s hands as he holds onto you gently, to feel his soft hair under your fingertips, and his hard chest pressed against your body. To feel his lips curving into a smile, his forehead resting on yours as his breath fans your lips. “Are you happy too?” he asks. 

You think you’ll die if you ever forget the way it feels to like Park Sunghoon.

“Yes. Very.” 

Through the peephole in your front door, you watch as Sunghoon stands outside, bringing a hand to his cheek, fingers grazing the spot where you’re certain your lip gloss lingers. You suppress a giggle with your hand and run up the stairs to your room where you bury your face in your pillow to muffle a squeal. You can’t remember the last time you felt so giddy over something that was happening in your own life rather than something sweet you’d read in a book or heard about from a friend.

With Chaewon’s hand in yours, and butterflies in your stomach, you make your way to the community pool for the first time in about a week. Like always, you find Sunghoon’s friends wreaking havoc in the water until.. something happens. By the time it occurs, you’ve been laying poolside for about an hour, trying to convince your best friend that you liking a guy isn’t going to do anything to your friendship. 

“You’re not supposed to like that guy,” Chaewon whines like a child, playing with the frayed hem of her shorts. “You’re only supposed to like me!” A sigh passes from her lips as she uses her arm to shield her eyes from the sun. “And Yunjin!” she adds after too long. 

“What about the rest of our friends?” 

“And Kazuha, and Minjeong, and Jaehyun, an—” 

“Jaehyun’s a guy.” 

She seems a little thrown off by your interruption, pursing her lips before speaking. “Well, yeah, but.. he’s one of our guys. A Chaewon-approved guy.” 

Suddenly, the noise level reduces by at least half and you can’t help but feel alarmed, whipping your head in the direction of the pool. A quick scan tells you that nothing bad has happened, allowing you to release a breath you didn’t know you were holding. In the corner of your eye, you see Sunghoon’s friends huddled together and quickly realise that the space has only gotten so quiet because they’re chatting at a normal volume. Huh, you think, it almost sounds like the speakers are quite good. Heeseung and Jay get out of the water, sitting up on the pool’s edge while the other four boys all stand in place, all six of them fix their eyes on something in front of them but you don’t care enough to investigate further. 

You look back at Chaewon as a pout settles on your lips. “Why can’t Chaewon approve of my guy?”

“When you say that Sunghoon is your guy, do you mean it in the same way that Yeonjun is your guy?” she asks, her tone scathing but her face concerned. “Or, the way that Asahi is your guy, or, even Yoshi?” 

“No. This is different. Sunghoon is different.” 

You know how trite and naive you must sound, but he is different. You’d never dated a guy who’d pick you up right at your front door; Yeonjun and Yoshi typically sent DMs to let you know they’d parked out front, and Asahi did nothing but honk the car horn because he found it funny. Though to call what you were doing with those guys ‘dating’ would be a huge overstatement. There was Renjun from first year who was nice enough but never wanted to hang out, and Donghyuck who made you laugh but never complimented you. 

Chaewon crinkles her nose, reaching out to hold your hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze. “I really hope you’re right.”

And now there’s Sunghoon. Sunghoon who tells you that he can’t wait to see you again; who always tells you how pretty you look; who blushes when you hold his hand, who touches his cheek when you kiss it. You can’t imagine him doing anything bad to anyone. Sunghoon is different, and you hope you can be different this time too. In all the time you spend thinking, your guy shows up with a shy smile on his face with both of his hands behind his back. 

It’s your first time seeing him in person since your date and the sun glows against his skin, his wet hair tickling his thick brows as he stands at the foot of your chairs, watching Chaewon nervously. “Hi, Chaewon,” he says after a while.

“Hello!” She grins, seeming so bright and happy that you find it hard to reconcile this Chaewon with the one who’d been clutching her chest and sliding down the walls over the fact you have a crush on the boy she’s now being so pleasant to. 

“I got this,” Sunghoon says, bringing his hand from behind his back to reveal a strawberry-flavoured slushy. “For you.” He adds on, holding the drink out to your friend. While Chaewon gushes about how much she likes the mix of berries that make up her favourite flavour, Sunghoon hums and nods along while making his way to the other side of your chair. He wears a wider, more confident smile on his face while he stands over you. 

“Hi, gorgeous,” he says quietly, bringing his other hand out to give you the blue raspberry slushy he’s been holding. With his foot, Sunghoon drags a spare lounger from behind him next to yours before moving out of the way and using his hands to push it some more, making the armrest touch yours. “Hey,” he smiles, taking a seat. 

You take a grateful sip of your drink, surprised at how much better it tastes coming from him. “Thank you, Hoon.” You can’t stop yourself from leaning over to press a kiss to his cheek, liking the way your stomach flutters when his hand flies up to touch the spot you’d kissed.

“I like when you do that.” 

“This?” you ask, kissing him again. Through squinted eyes, you notice a dusting of pink over his cheeks and take such a big sip of your slushy that every single part of your body goes numb and your head starts to hurt. Sunghoon only laughs, watching you. It’s quiet between you for a bit until you come to. “I’m not complaining, really, but don’t you have.. lives to guard?” 

“I’m on break,” he says. “Do you want me to go?” His brows raise dramatically as the corners of his lips sink to the floor, a glint of something playful in his sparkling eyes. 

You shake your head, face alighting with a grin when you remember something. “So can I see the skating videos you promised you’d show me?” 

All playfulness is gone. “Did I.. promise?” 

“Yes!” You don’t like the way he arches his brow at you. “Two nights ago.. before you fell asleep on the phone.” 

He scoffs at you, playfully. “If I remember correctly, you fell asleep on the phone,” Sunghoon says, tone accusatory. “And you snore.” Sunghoon lets his cheek lie flat against the chair, grinning. He’s beautiful. And correct.

“Skating videos,” you repeat. Sunghoon rolls his eyes at you, grinning brilliantly when you laugh. “I’m serious,” you frown. 

“You’re cute,” he says quietly, like it’s a correction. “I’ve been meaning to ask you something.” Sunghoon pauses but takes your nod as a sign to continue. “I have a thing, next Tuesday, and I was wondering if you’d want to come and see me skate in person?” His voice tips up at the end of the question.

Excitement bubbles up inside you, causing you to sit up straight in your seat, turning your body to face him. “You want me to come?” 

He nods eagerly. 

“I’ll be there.” 

The tips of Sunghoon’s ears redden as he smiles at you, his eyes scanning your face. You can’t resist kissing him, and he doesn’t try to stop you, meeting your lips halfway. It’s sweet as sugar and goes on until his friends start to cheer loudly and Sunghoon pulls away, shy. But he looks like he wants to kiss you again. You grab him by the cord of the whistle around his neck and pull him back towards you. Relief floods you when your lips reunite.

“I’m gonna text you later with the details, time and shit,” he mumbles against your lips before getting up to go. 

As he retreats, he looks over his shoulder a few times, waving at you and smiling widely while he does. Until he bumps into a small child who practically topples over; Sunghoon manages to catch them in the nick of time and his neck flushes pink. 

It doesn’t make sense to you how he could be so cute. 

Chaewon watches you as she sips her slushy with an appreciative smile, letting out a long ahh of refreshment before putting the cup down. “Chaewon approved.” 

It seems like your mother’s been back from work for a while when you get home. A stretchy white headband holds her hair out of her face while she stands over a pot on the stove, looking comfy in some sweatpants.

Happy to see you, she pulls you into a hug, pressing a kiss to your cheek. “Hi, honey,” she grins. 

She turns down your offer to help and insists on you setting the table instead, which you do happily, taking a seat when you’re done. Through her phone, she plays the music she listened to while you were growing up and sitting there, watching your mum cook while dripping chlorinated water from your hair to the kitchen floor, makes you feel a bit like a child. Like it’s 2008 and you’ve come home from a day at the pool with Chaewon, who would sit across from you at the dinner table, all blunt fringe and missing teeth, talking about this brand new thing called cheesecake, while your mother made dinner for the three of you with a towel wrapped on her head, drying her wet hair. 

As your mum fills your plate, she tells you about her day at work. Her boss was unreasonable, like always, and her office bestie took off on maternity leave. Again. She asks you about your day and pretends like she doesn’t notice the way you smile when you talk about the pool. 

You don’t wait to tell her about Sunghoon. 

“Is that who you went out with last week?” 

You cough around a grain of rice; you don’t remember mentioning him. “How do you know?” 

A smile takes over her face. “Because I watched him stand around the driveway for five minutes before he rang the bell.” You can’t help the way you laugh, it sounds like him to a tee. “What’s he like?” 

You tilt your head for a minute, thinking. “I still feel like we’re getting to know each other, you know?” Understanding, she nods her head. So, naturally, you talk for the better part of 10 minutes about Sunghoon until your food gets cold and your cheeks hurt from smiling. 

In preparation for Sunghoon’s skating showcase, you read up on the sport and audience etiquette, and stay up late the night before making a pretty banner for him. Sleepiness plagues you when you wake up that afternoon but at least you’re happy with the way the sign came out. 

While doing your makeup, you start to second guess your outfit choice. It was nice when you picked it last week, and it was nice when you put it on an hour ago and then back on twenty minutes ago. So, out of options, you stand in front of the mirror for the umpteenth time, sending Sunghoon a picture of your flowy off-white dress and asking if it’s okay. 

Sunghoon, dramatic as ever, responds with a selfie, all pretty smile and red hearts drawn over his eyes. You almost want to drop dead at the sight of him. And then another message comes through, no words, just emojis. At least 40 silly little yellow faces fill the text box. Some are crying, some have heart eyes, some have starry eyes, and some are drooling. There seems to be no apparent order, and you see sprinkles of white hearts in between them. 

sh: you look so beautiful you’re so beautiful baby

Baby, he’d said. Simple, pixelated, enough to make your heart flip in your chest. 

sh: can i come over 

sh: just to loo k at you or smth 

you: please 

You want to kiss him. 

sh: ok omw .. lying i dont have time :((( 

sh: also i fucked up my hair last night don’t laugh when you see me. 

you: no promises .. 

There’s a short queue at the reception desk when you arrive at the rink. The lobby is full of excited parents and bored teens, all eager with anticipation for the start (and end) of the summer showcase. Sunghoon had been relatively vague about the event until you called him last night, with a list of questions about it. With one question about it. The two of you chatted and laughed for hours until you got an answer. 

When he’s not spending the day at the pool, Sunghoon volunteers to teach kids classes at the rink he grew up in. Every year, the teaching cycle runs from April to July, at which point the rink holds the summer showcase, for parents and family members to attend and see what they’ve been funding for the past four months. 

“We don’t normally let parents sit in on classes because it’s distracting for the kids,” he explained through a yawn. “And it’s the whole reason I started skating in the first place.” Sunghoon paused. You hadn’t been expecting him to stop speaking but you rubbed your eyes and mumbled oh, really? as you used a pencil to sketch out the outline of your bubble letters. “You know, at first I thought you fell asleep, but I didn’t hear you snoring so I got a little worried,” he said, nervous. 

“I’m still here.” 

He fell quiet for a beat, speaking nervously. “Just let me know if I’m boring you, yeah?” 

“I could listen to you talk forever,” you admitted. “I’m having fun learning more about you.” 

Sunghoon’s light laughter made you bite back a giggle. “You make me feel good about myself,” he said quietly before continuing, giving you no time to respond. “But, yeah, I used to play hockey because I didn’t know how to talk to anyone except my parents and my one-year-old little sister, but my only friend on the hockey team invited me to go and watch him at the showcase one year and it was just.. the greatest thing I’d ever seen.” 

You encouraged Sunghoon to go on, still reeling from his quiet confession, and loving the grin in his voice while he spoke about skating and the way he laughed through some stories from work. Like how on a quiet day at the pool when he’d been messing around with Heeseung, Jake, and Riki in the water, some random guy approached them. 

“And this is so crazy too because we were just, like, fucking around, and the guy goes, “My grandmother can swim faster than you,” like he yelled it and stomped away.” 

Worried about waking your sleeping parents, you covered your mouth while laughing, mainly from the offence you can hear in Sunghoon’s voice over something that happened in October. “What did you guys do after that?” 

“I was on shift so I clocked out and went home.” 

The back of the program has a picture of Sunghoon and some of the other skating coaches, but it’s hard to pay attention to them or the signup sheet at the bottom when you see the wide smile on his face; you love the photo, it’s your favourite. He looks so happy, so radiant. If the scrunch of his nose and eyes is anything to go by, he must have been laughing when the picture was taken. This detail only makes you love it even more. 

In the corner of your eye, Jake leans against a wall, scrolling through his phone with a sheet of paper tucked under his arm. Seeing as he’s now (technically) your friend-in-law, you decide to approach him. Through the crowd of attendees waiting to be seated, he spots you as well, rushing over with the widest smile you’ve ever seen on anyone. You could count his teeth. 

Jake takes you by surprise, hugging you. “Hey! Hoon’s so happy that you’re here,” he says, somehow smiling even wider. “I’m so happy that you’re here, I finally have company!” 

When the double doors to the rink open up, you follow Jake to what he describes as the best seats in the house. “I always sit up here, so our boy knows to look over,” he says with a smile, his eyes never leaving you. “In case you were worried about that. It’s kinda far, and there’s lights, so you might have to wave a little harder than normal but, he’ll see you.” 

You nod, smiling too. “Got it.” Jake doesn’t look away. “Are you okay?” you ask him. More out of concern for your own well-being than anything else; you’ve heard of people murdering their best friend’s crushes before. 

He chews on his lip, tilting his head. All traces of his welcoming smile have faded, replaced with a more solemn expression as he looks over your shoulder for a beat. “Sunghoon’s my best friend,” he starts, and it’s hard not to picture yourself tumbling to your death down the slowly populating rows in front of you. They seem steeper now than before. “And he’s.. well.. you know him. It’s just that, he really likes you, you know? And I’m not saying this to be rude but I know about Yeonjun.. and—” Jake stops short, shooting you an apologetic look. “Anyway, I know that for some people, for you, for me, even, seeing more than one person at a time isn’t a big deal, but Hoon’s not like that.” 

You wait for him to continue. He doesn’t. 

A voice booms through the tannoy, telling everyone to take their seats as the show will be starting soon. 

Unsure what to say, you look out at the ice while Jake’s words sink in. It might have been easier to come up with something if he’d been any less kind about it. Spoken to you in a harsher tone. You hate the idea of Sunghoon knowing about the others, even if they were before him. Hate the idea of Jake having a similar conversation with him; telling Sunghoon that he’s not trying to be rude but..

“Sunghoon’s..” you pause, nervous. “He’s the best, and I can’t imagine seeing anyone else,” you admit. 

Jake beams, trusting you, and nods his head. “He’s gonna love your banner,” he grins. “And that.. angry looking plushy you brought.” 

The lights cut and all of the chatter hushes in an instant. Slowly, they fade back on, as a classical piece begins. Jake bounces his leg so hard you can feel the bench rattle under you, he’s practically glowing with giddiness. He’s like a little puppy, a golden retriever with light hair to match. 

After a short while, a boy skates out onto the ice, tall, graceful, an—Riki? He reaches the middle of the rink and introduces himself, enthusiastically reading a script from a few cue cards and looking right up into the stands to wear you and Jake sit. Beside you, Jake cheers, raising his banner, and you crane your neck to read it (LUCKY STRAWBERRIKI), and on the ice, Riki hides his face with his hand, quickly looking at his feet before continuing with his intro. 

You count eight tiny kids skating towards Riki, followed by Jungwon, and a line of other older skaters, Sunghoon is the last to appear, and your stomach churns with pride. All of them are dressed casually; you like Sunghoon’s straight-cut jeans and open button-up. 

As Jake predicted, Sunghoon (and Jungwon, and Riki) look up in your general direction, and next to you, Jake struggles to hold all three posters up at once so you help him, yelling along excitedly. It’s hard to tell from so far away but it feels like Sunghoon is staring straight at you like you’re the only two people at the rink. You feel like standing, like standing and singing HOOOOOOOOOOOON at the top of your lungs. For a moment you wonder if he’d shout back, telling you that right now he can hardly breathe. As if reading your mind, his mouth tugs up at the corners, slightly, before spreading into an ear-to-ear grin that makes your cheeks burn. 

The entire show passes by in an adorable whirlwind, as you and Jake applaud and encourage all of the performers, gushing with one another over how cute the baby skaters (including Jungwon and Riki) are. It’s beautiful and exciting, and you’re so happy you came. 

But time seems to stop when Sunghoon returns. Jake cheers loudly for him when he skates out; you can’t bring yourself to do the same. 

He comes to a stop in the middle of the rink, looking right up at the two of you. Jake waves his poster and raises yours too, seeming to notice the way you’re stuck to the spot. Sunghoon smiles, and somehow, he’s even more beautiful than you remembered. 

Graceful, elegant, Sunghoon glides on the ice when the music starts, immediately skating into a jump — you watch with held breath. He spins once, his arms tucked neatly by his sides, his hair fanning out around his head. Another spin, beautiful, clean. In the seats around you, people are cheering, you can hear them clear as day but the only person you see is Sunghoon who’s turning into his third rotation; the last. He sticks the landing, and an eternity has passed by as you let a sigh of relief slip out. 

Each jump is more gorgeous than the last, though seems to go on forever — you’re nervous as if it’s you on the ice. 

Chewing on the inside of your cheek, you watch as he skates beautifully, executing smooth spins and controlled turns. You don’t think you could look away from him if you tried — this must be what people mean when they say someone was born for something. Even in the casual setting, he looks like a professional, just as stable and fluid as he was in the videos you’d watched. 

The music fades out, his performance is done, and you find yourself thankful for the fact that no one’s sitting behind you as you stand up. Jake does the same. Both of you hold your banners up for him to see, cheering louder than anyone else. Sunghoon raises a hand to wave at you. You wave back excitedly, getting a little flustered by the girl sitting a few rows ahead of you who turns around, smiling dreamily at Jake and rolling her eyes at you.

After bowing politely, Sunghoon looks back up at you, and you can’t help but blow him a kiss, only feeling silly about it when Jake nudges you with a goofy smile. You watch as Sunghoon raises his right hand for a beat, shifting a little on his skates before reaching out ahead of him, catching the flying kiss. 

Butterflies run rampant in your stomach when he holds his hand, and your kiss, over his heart.

As the show ends, you chat with Jake for a bit, gushing over the performances together as the audience clears out, and you trudge slowly down the stairs and back into the lobby. It’s nice chatting with him, seeing the way his face lights up as he talks so excitedly and passionately about his friends. 

You understand why Sunghoon likes him so much.

Sunghoon shows up at the other end of the lobby space, a vision in purple-tinted hair. You have to tell yourself to keep your feet planted on the spot for fear of literally running into his arms. He doesn’t seem to share the same sentiment, thank God, jogging through the lobby, dipping and dodging people as best and as fast as he can to reach you. 

He hugs you. Holds you tight. “I’m so glad you’re here,” he says, quietly, only for you. 

In your chest, your heart seems to grow tiny fists that throw a million punches a minute. Your brain scrambles for the words to say but you can’t come up with anything, hoping that the tightness of your arms around him lets him know that you’re glad to be here. 

He lets go of you, beaming, and moves to dap up Jake, asking his friend if he’s aware that he’s taking Jungwon and Riki go-karting tonight. 

“I’m doing what?” 

“Yeah, they wanted me to take them but I’m busy.” 

“Busy doing what?” Jake asks conspiratorially, arching a brow. He glances sideways at you, and can’t hold back his laughter. 

Sunghoon sets his jaw, punching Jake in the stomach. “Grow up,” he mutters, stifling a laugh of his own. 

You laugh too, partially at what Jake said, mostly at the way he keels over, clutching his stomach, a long groan passing from his lips. Sunghoon’s brows raise when you hand him the banner. “Look what I made for you.” 

“I saw you holding it earlier, baby, I love it,” he says, beaming at you as he reads over it again. “You did such a good job. Can I take it home?” His eyes sparkle when he looks up at you. Your heart cinches in your chest. 

“Of course.”

Next to you, Jake holds out the banner he made. “Do you wanna take mine home?” 

Sunghoon doesn’t even spare him a glance. “Recycle it,” he says. 

Jake tilts his head, confused. A loud huh comes out as he raises his brows. “I make a banner for you every single year and every single time you turn your nose up at it. But here comes a pretty girl and all of a sudden you love banners. Really, Sunghoon? You love it?” He pauses to let out a laugh, incredulous, seeming not to care about the few people that have turned over in your direction. “I can’t stand you.” Jake’s voice is whiny and hard to take seriously.

“I don’t love banners, I love this banner,” Sunghoon corrects, using his hand to shove Jake’s shoulder before holding the banner up over his chest. 

Amused, you watch the two boys bicker for a bit before Jake cuts Sunghoon off mid-sentence, raising his hands, muttering the word whatever.

Sunghoon seems sceptical of Badtz-Maru when you hand him over. He holds the plushy in his hand, eyeing it suspiciously before wrapping his arm around your shoulders. “He’s cute, baby, really, but why’d you pick the world’s unhappiest penguin?”

“He reminded me of you.” Sunghoon’s jaw drops, brows knitting together as he tilts his head, all while Jake struggles to stifle a laugh. “Because he’s from Gorgeoustown,” you add, your heart singing when Sunghoon kisses the top of your head, and you can’t resist letting your arms wrap around his waist. 

Compliments flow out of you like water from a fountain when Jungwon and Riki join your little group outside. Jungwon, with deep dimples and flushed cheeks, shyly mumbles variations of thank you, and I appreciate that while shifting from one foot to the other. Riki glows with pride, standing up straighter, and asking you what else you liked about his performance. 

The sun feels nice on your arms as you watch the two play a very intense, high-stakes game of rock, paper, scissors for the front seat of Jake’s car. They’re playing best of five and getting ready to begin the third, and possibly final round. Riki has two wins under his belt, it’s not looking good for Jungwon whose breathing has become heavy. He’s taken off his hoodie and is stretching his arms in preparation. 

You start a countdown from three and laugh so hard your stomach starts to hurt when Jungwon throws a losing rock against Riki’s paper, the oldest boy falling to his knees on the pavement and holding his head in his hands. Riki jumps higher than he had on the ice, embracing Jake in a tight hug, overjoyed by the victory while Jungwon groans. 

“Let’s hang out,” Sunghoon says as you walk to his car. 

Squeezing his hand, you nod and try not to melt on the concrete when he opens the car door for you. “What do you normally do after skating?” 

Sunghoon seems to think about your question for a while, tilting his head to the side as a fond smile pulls at the corners of his lips. “My parents would always take me out for dessert after competitions, or the next day if it was too late.” 

“Well, what do you think, Hoon? Is it too late for dessert?” 

Giddy in a way you’ve never seen him, he shakes his head in response. And in his car, he hums along to the radio, gingerly resting his hand on your bare knee. 

Sunghoon takes you to a dessert spot by Chaewon’s house, a fairly popular family-owned establishment that serves her favourite cheesecake. You sink into your seat over the table from him, in a slightly stiff booth with a tall back that makes it seem like it’s just you two and a coffee shop chatter Youtube video playing on a loop. 

“What are you having, baby?” he asks, drumming his fingers against the laminated menu. 

Knowing that Chaewon is coming over later, you let your eyes fall to the ice cream selection, reading the names of all 27 flavours and still settling on the only flavour you ever order here. “Cookie dough,” you say, reaching across the table to point at it on his menu. 

“And?” 

“And nothing.” 

His brows furrow. “You’re only getting ice cream?” 

“I mean, it’ll probably come in a cup, with a spoon,” you say, liking the way Sunghoon laughs at your stupid comment. “Chaewon’s staying over tonight so I don’t wanna fill up too much before dinner. I’ll order some cheesecake to take away when we’re done though, it’s her favourite,” you explain. 

He nods his head. “We can share my tiramisu.” 

It’s only after a conversation with Jake later on that you realise how big of a deal this is.

The two of you only manage to stop chatting and laughing when a girl with a cute bow in her hair and a smile on her face comes to ask if you’re ready to order. Across from you, Sunghoon orders a slice of tiramisu and a 3-scoop cup of coffee-flavoured ice cream. He runs a big hand through his hair and clears his throat, cheeks covered in pink as he asks if it would be okay for us to get a milkshake, to share, so, like, one milkshake, but then with two straws? Her eyes flick between the two of you and she grins, nodding her head but Sunghoon doesn’t go on. 

“A strawberry milkshake, please,” you say, watching the waitress take note of it before saying she’ll be right back. 

More than anyone you’ve ever met, Sunghoon loves tiramisu; he adores it. He lets you take the first spoon, and it’s delicious so you don’t have to fake your reaction when you try it. Sunghoon lights up with childlike excitement as he tries the second spoonful, his eyes widening as he hums around the dessert, shaking his head a little out of genuine enjoyment. 

Surprisingly, he’s able to tell you about the origins of the word (stems from the Italian tira mi su or pick me up), and shares a fond memory of the first time he tried it — he was 9 years old and choked on the cocoa powder on top.  

Sunghoon takes the first sip from the tall glass that sits between you both, you gulp at the sight of his lips wrapping around the straw and need to try it too. Your noses bump a little when you lean in, and, with sweet strawberry coating your tongue, you can’t help but giggle.

As you’d been expecting, your cookie dough ice cream is delicious and after a while, you use your tiny plastic spoon to scrape the sides of your cup and ignore the way Sunghoon laughs at you. Even when he’s mocking you, he still makes your stomach flutter.

“I can get you more if you want,” he offers with a wide smile. 

You shake your head. Sunghoon frowns, watching you collect the last pitiful scrapings before eating them. “You were so pretty today,” you tell him around the spoon.

“Did you think I was ugly before?” 

“Extremely.” His face scrunches up with laughter, showing off his dimple and his fangs. “You must have practised forever,” you add, distracted.

Sunghoon shrugs, reaching his hand across the table to play with your fingers. “In a way I did but not really,” he says vaguely, using his nail to draw a circle in the palm of your hand. “I don’t plan anything for the showcase, it’s just meant for fun, you know? I just go out and do what feels right on the day — so, I guess I’ve been practising for the last 13 years.” 

Completely awestruck, you utter a quiet “wow” and giggle when he pinches your hand. 

“What’re you and Chaewon gonna do later?” he asks, changing the subject.

You let him. At the mention of your best friend, a smile teases at your lips and Sunghoon matches it, beaming sweetly at you, looking forward to what you have to say. “I’m gonna cut her hair.” 

“Really?” Your heart thuds at the genuine interest in his tone. “Do you always cut it for her?”

“No,” you pout. “I’ve never cut anyone’s hair.”

“Not even your own?” Sunghoon laughs when you shake your head. “Wow, she must really trust you.”

It’s your turn to shrug. “We’re best friends.”

“She’s lucky.” 

A chuckle slips out of you and you scrunch your nose. “Me too.” 

When he sees the waitress approaching, Sunghoon stacks your dishes to help out, handing them over to her with a soft smile. “Would we be able to get two slices of cheesecake?” he asks. “To go?”

“Sure, what flavour?”

“Vanilla, please.” 

Eunchae, as you read from her nametag, makes a face, pulling air through her teeth. “The vanilla’s gonna be about an hour wait.” 

Sunghoon pales, looking at you. “That’s alright,” you say, smiling. 

“Is there anything else I can get for you?”

Sunghoon shakes his head, asking only for the bill. The two of you go back and forth on it and you practically beg him to let you pay. You put up a good fight, only backing down because he renders you speechless, shaking his head and saying: I’m not gonna take my girl on a date then make her pay. 

His girl hides her face with her hands, flustered. 

He laughs. 

A beat passes before he stands up, holding a hand out and asking you to go with him to the photo booth. With a smile, you slip your hand into his, allowing him to tug you towards it. Behind the curtain, he wraps his arm around your waist, leaning forward to pay. The two of you agree that you’ll take a set for him to keep and one for you. On the screen, a countdown starts from 4, and you almost feel under pressure. 

Posing for the first picture is a little awkward; you watch as Sunghoon puffs out his cheeks, poking one, and suppress your smile to copy. The second isn’t much better; you both grin and hold up peace signs. As you pose for the third, you can feel Sunghoon’s eyes burning holes in the side of your face, can see him on the screen, staring as you look at yourself ahead but can’t bring yourself to look at him. 

The countdown reaches 2 and he holds you closer. His lips touch your cheek when the screen says 1 and you grin when the picture is taken. Sunghoon’s gaze is soft when you look at him. His hand touches your cheek, heavy on your skin, as he leans in to kiss you. You’ve never been kissed in a photo booth before and your heart beats in the back of your throat when the screen flashes, taking the last photo. 

He sticks his head out of the curtain to collect the 4-cut and cringes a little. “God, we look so stiff in the first two,” he complains. 

“I love them,” you say, taking the photo set from his hand. “They’re perfect.” You mean it. The visible awkwardness that you can feel through the frame is endearing to you, and you like the gradual transition into comfort as the photos progress. 

He looks at you with disbelieving eyes and pays for the next set. 

When you reach your table again, Sunghoon slides into the booth next to you, letting his arm rest over your shoulders, and he’s just as sweet as the tiramisu you tasted on his lips. 

With full bellies and two slices of cheesecake packaged in a pretty yellow box, you head back to his car, where he clips his photo set to the sun visor. You can’t help but lean over the centre console to kiss him again. When you pull away from him, you swear his eyes dart to the backseat, but the moment goes by as quickly as it happens so you must have been imagining things. He drives you home with the radio playing lowly, and his fingers locked with yours. 

On your doorstep, Sunghoon kisses you goodbye, biting at your bottom lip and grabbing your ass. He’s never kissed you like this before. You don’t think you were making things up earlier. “I really like your dress,” he tells you quietly, his lips brushing yours. 

Suddenly nervous, you mumble a thank you. 

“I like everything you wear, but this dress?” Sunghoon pulls away from you, just enough to rake his eyes down your body before holding you close. “You’re beautiful,” he whispers, holding your cheek in his palm before kissing you again.  

A few hours later, Chaewon stands on a towel in the bathroom, between you and the mirror while your right hand shakes over a pair of scissors. “Are you sure about this?”

She nods her head. “It doesn’t need to be neat, it just needs to be short,” she assures you, smiling at your reflection in the mirror. Despite only just passing her shoulders, Chaewon’s hair is the longest you think you’ve ever seen it. “I wanted to grow it out, like Kazuha’s, but I hate the way it feels on my skin.” Freshly washed, her hair is just beyond damp and darkening her pink t-shirt. 

You gulp, nervous. “How about you sit down?” 

She nods, saying it’s a good call. 

Chaewon sits on a towel in your bedroom, between you and your full-length mirror while your right hand shakes over a pair of scissors. Before you grab them, you move her hair over her shoulders just so she can tell you once more to give her a chin-length bob. 

She does. You nod. 

Releasing a deep breath you make the first cut, and the sound of the blades slicing through her hair leaves goosebumps forming on your arms. Wet and slightly clumped together, the remaining hair falls from your hold and smacks her ear. You hold your breath as she runs her fingers through it. 

“It’s even!” 

“I only cut one part, Wonie.”

“Yeah, but you did good!” Her eyes meet yours in the mirror and she grins. “Keep going, keep going!” 

The other three sections generate similar reactions, and you keep having to tell her to sit still while you try to trim her hair. 

Chaewon claps her hands when you finish, running her fingers through her “new” bob. “I love it!” she squeals, beaming at your reflection. “It’s perfect.” She turns around on the spot to fling her arms at you, appreciative, wrapping you up in her familiar, soft scent. 

The two of you sit on the couch, as Gossip Girl plays on the TV. For the duration of an entire episode, Chaewon turns her head gently from left to right, her short hair fanning out around her, with a light smile on her face as she does so. You only manage to look away from her when you remember the cheesecake, getting up from your seat abruptly, and excusing yourself. 

As you enter the kitchen, you check your phone, grinning at the sight of a few texts from Sunghoon. You open the fridge as you unlock your phone, clicking on the notification as you take the box of dessert out. Giggles fall out of you at the first message: a cute bed selfie, with his plushy tucked under his arm. 

sh: no way

sh: he smells like you :o

sh: are we seeing each other tmrw? 

sh: (say yes) 

It doesn’t make sense to you that Sunghoon is as cute as he is — you have to put the cheesecake down to relax. 

you: noooooooooo ur so cute

you: i gave him some perfume :o and i’m w wonie tn and tmrw but another time

you: talk later hoonie! 

The sight of the box in your hand makes Chaewon spring out of her seat, covering her mouth with her hands as she does a cute happy dance, prompting you to set the cake down on the coffee table to join her. Tired out, you slump back onto the couch after a while, smiling when she hands over your plate before sitting next to you. 

With a fond smile, you pull your knees to your chest, watching as Chaewon says: You know you love me, xoxo, Gossip Girl, in perfect sync with Kristen Bell. She grins to herself before taking a forkful of cheesecake to her mouth, moaning around the utensil. 

You’ve never known anyone to like dessert as much as her, and a grin forms on its own as you remember the way Sunghoon had done almost the same thing with tiramisu only hours earlier. Being an avid hater of tiramisu, you wonder how Chaewon might react if you told her, before focusing on your slice and the gorgeous face of Leighton Meester. 

The two of you must sit through four episodes, before you sleepily lean into her, telling her she can finish off your piece of cake that she’s been eyeing hungrily since she finished hers approximately 15 Gossip Girl blasts ago. She watches you from the counter while you wash the dishes, thanking you again for the cake. 

Later that night — when she thinks you’re asleep — Chaewon presses a soft kiss to your cheek. “I’ve never had a friend like you before,” she whispers, turning over in bed and grabbing your hand. You don’t know what to do when you hear her sniffling next to you. 

Salt air and sun cream skate around you — the only things you can smell over the oil soaked chips you share with Chaewon at the beach. Heavy trainers weigh down each corner of the fitted bed sheet underneath you and Chaewon as you watch the wind push clouds through the too-blue sky. Drunk on cider, she laughs to herself, pointing above you. “That one kinda looks like Sunghoon’s friend, right?”

“Which one?” you ask, moving your head to see exactly what she’s pointing at. You’re not sure if you’re asking which friend or which cloud. 

“That one, like Jay.”

Laughter hits you immediately. She’s absolutely right. A triangular mass in the sky leaves you both cackling and rolling around. 

Same as the sand through your fingers, three weeks slip by. You and Sunghoon take more pictures in photo booths and struggle to stop kissing each other. He clasps your necklaces, and puts sunscreen on your back; you hug him from behind and take naps in the park with your head on his chest. Sunghoon makes daisy chains to sit in your hair, and puffy paper stars to fill a jar in your desk. You take his little sister for ice cream and braid her hair when she asks you. 

Tonight however, completely spent from a day of shopping with your mum and Chaewon, the three of you sat on the couch, all eating your bodyweight in cheesecake and crying over the ending of How To Lose a Guy in 10 Days.  

After you’ve all recovered, your mum watches from the car as you hug Chaewon on her doorstep and you fall asleep in the passenger seat on the ride home. No longer small enough to be carried up to your room, you drag your feet to the bed where you fall asleep as soon as your body hits the mattress. But a phone call from Kazuha disrupts your slumber. 

“Are you going to the pool tomorrow?” she asks, sounding alarmingly awake for 4:57 a.m. 

“Tomorrow, today, or tomorrow, tomorrow?” 

“Like,” she pauses, you can picture her running a hand through her hair as she thinks. “In a few hours, I guess.” 

You hum down the phone. 

“We can go together!” The smile in her voice is audible. “Oh, Jay likes YJ. Did I tell you? And fuck, Lee Heeseung is so annoying.” 

“No, he’s not,” you say defensively, slightly rattled by the fact that she woke you up in the middle of the night to shit on your boy’s best friend.

Kazuha scoffs. “Sure.” The line falls quiet for a beat. “He’s not actually annoying, I was just trying to announce that I have a crush on him.” Of course she was. 

“Heeseung seems like a great guy and I’m really happy for you, but let’s talk at the pool, okay?” 

“Talk at the pool!” she chirps, cutting the phone. 

You don’t manage to get back to sleep. 

At the pool, Kazuha says you’re beautiful when you pull your t-shirt over your head and cuts you off before you get to thank her, going on a tangent about how badly she wants to nap but doesn’t want to tan unevenly. Or sleep for too long that her face gets puffy. You take your mission seriously, using your phone to set timers and waking her up each time it goes off despite the way she grumbles at you. 

Riki runs over to tell you to watch him before running away and flipping into the water. Your praise doesn’t seem to get old, but the flips don’t either, each one just as clean and impressive as the ones before. 

Kazuha’s on her 4th rotation when you find yourself wandering over to the concession stand, in the mood for something sweet after being tempted by the scent of baking dough wafting over the pool. But as you get further and further ahead in line, you eventually decide you only want a lollipop, and there are only two people in front of you when you realise you left your phone in your chair and won’t be able to pay.

As if sent from heaven, someone taps you on the shoulder, but you’re met with no one when you look to your left; Sunghoon’s laugh is adorable on the other side of you, contagious when he bumps your hip with his. 

“Hi, baby,” you say, looking up at him. He has a white towel on his head, covering his forehead and tucked behind his ears. “Is there a reason you have this on?” you ask him, touching the damp fabric that sits on his shoulders.  

“What, I’m not allowed to dry my hair?” 

“I’m not allowed to be curious?” 

Sunghoon gently flicks your forehead and you pretend it hurts. 

Like Hannah Montana, he hooks his fingers under the front of the towel, pulling the “wig” off to reveal his luscious (and soaking wet) locks of dark hair. A gasp falls from your lips as your hand flies up to cover your mouth. Having essentially grown up with Sunghoon, or rather, grown up adjacent to Sunghoon, him having black hair isn’t anything new. But it’s definitely something you’re fond of. Fond of him and the way his dark hair only brings out his features, matching his thick brows and the hard lines of his face. 

“Do you like it?” he asks. 

You love it. “What are you gonna do if I don’t?” you ask, pushing some of his hair from his forehead. 

“Buzzcut.” 

With a worried look on his face, he lets you use both hands to cover his hair and imagine it. “Are you laughing because I’m so devastatingly gorgeous with black hair or because I’m about to buzz my head?” Laughter bubbles in your chest, as his hair flops back over his forehead. “Wait, baby, no.” A deep pout settles on his lips. “You actually don’t like it?” 

“I love it, you know I love it.” 

Sunghoon lets you compliment him until you reach the front of the line when he talks with the person on shift. He uses his phone to pay for what you want, and seeing your smiling face on his lock screen makes your cheeks burn while you hide your face in his back, arms locked limply around his waist. 

The two of you only leave the stand when the line behind you builds up, standing in the shade next to it. He watches you unwrap the candy and raises a brow when you hold it out to him. “First lick?”

He shakes his head. 

“Come on, Hoonie,” you tease, letting your hand rest on his arm, liking the way it tenses under your touch. “I know you want a taste.” 

His eyes drop to your chest for a split second, his tongue darting out to wet his lips as he lifts his gaze. “You have no idea,” he mumbles before opening his mouth a little, leaning down towards you. His lips are slightly parted and very tempting as they wrap around the lollipop. 

“Good?”

Sunghoon’s eyes lock with yours as he sucks on the candy. “Very,” he says, the word coming out kind of garbled around it before letting you take it back. You watch him chew on his lip, humming to himself at the lingering taste of your lolly. 

The cola flavour hits your tongue immediately and you like the way Sunghoon gulps as he watches you, struggling to maintain the eye contact you’d had a moment earlier. You don’t take nearly as long as he did, pulling the lolly from your lips with a satisfying pop before smiling up at him, sickly sweet. “Very good indeed,” you echo him, letting the candy rest between your lips before you turn to walk away. Sunghoon follows, thankfully. Heading back over to where you’d been sitting, you find Kazuha’s chair empty. 

A shriek over your shoulder locates her like a pin on a map. 

In the pool, you see her sitting on Heeseung’s shoulders cackling as she pushes Sunoo over so hard that Jay, whose shoulders he’s sitting on, falls too. Gleefully, she leans back, falling into the water only to resurface and find her way into Heeseung’s arms. You stop walking when she tilts her head up to kiss him. Oh? Sunghoon walks right into your back. The kiss is short, not much more than a peck really, she pulls away with a grin on her face, swimming to the edge of the pool and Heeseung’s ears turn red as he watches her. 

Against your own, Sunghoon’s skin is warm, slick almost from what you think is a combination of pool water, sweat, and sunscreen. You hate yourself for liking it. His hardening dick presses against you, and your heart swells — some frenzied mix of feeling flattered, and horniness, you assume. A flame burns in your stomach, hot, blue. Neither of you moves for a while, long enough for Kazuha to walk over to your seats and scrunch her hair with a t-shirt. 

Sunghoon exhales shakily when you lean into him, resting the back of your head on his chest and holding the lollipop by the stick. “You okay?” you ask, voice nothing more than a whisper. 

His head dips, breath fanning your neck as he kisses your shoulder. “I’m sorry,” he mumbles against your skin before standing up straight. He wraps his arms around your shoulders, holding you close. “Do you wanna come over tomorrow?” he asks, words coming out as one. “My family’s on vacation.” His cock twitches against you when he says it. 

“They are?” 

“Mm, they leave tomorrow morning.”

A breathy laugh comes from your nose as you step away from his body, turning around to look at him. Not so subtly, he takes the towel from his shoulder and holds it in his hand, covering himself. A proper laugh falls from your lips, your head tipping back a bit. 

“What if I wanna come today?” you ask, raising a brow. “Tonight even?” 

“Tonight? I can call you if you wanna come tonight.” 

You have a feeling that the two of you are talking about entirely different things.

“Pick me up?” 

“Always.” 

Sunghoon’s bedroom is exceptionally neat. Everything on his desk (his PC set up and a notebook) is placed precisely, and there’s nothing on the floor except for his furniture and a giant 8-ball rug. His off-white walls are completely bare, save for three posters above his desk; your favourite is a handmade (you think) white poster that reads There’s No Planet B in slightly messy block capitals, which sits between blown up pictures of Childish Gambino, and SZA. Underneath the perfectly aligned posters, stuck right above his monitor are the words: Figure skating prince, Park Sunghoon! You’re the best! with a bright red lipstick kiss in the corner; your heart does a triple axel at the sight. 

He stands in the middle of his open doorway like he has been for the past two minutes, watching you admire the medals that sit in a display case on a floating shelf. In 2015 he took home a gold medal from the Lombardia Trophy, and another from the Asian Open Trophy. The two silver medals beside them tell you that he continued to do well at the Asian Open Trophy in the two years that followed.

Along with the Sunghoon you saw today, tiny Sunghoon skates through your mind, so impressive and so young. The quiet boy who often missed class. Who’d fall asleep with his face in a textbook during the classes he did attend. Who you’d let borrow your notes after days of absence, and who wordlessly thanked you with a carton of banana milk each time. How didn’t you know about all of this?  Beyond awestruck by his accomplishments, you look over your shoulder to ask him about it. 

Sunghoon only shrugs. “I was okay.”

“You were okay?” You can’t help but scoff at him. “I’ve seen the videos, Sunghoon. I’ve seen you in person, you’re.. amazing.” The word feels like an understatement. “I don’t know very much about skating but you’re breathtaking.”

“Thank you,” he says, looking at his feet. 

“Have you thought about the Olympics?” you ask seriously. You get ready to apologise when you watch him purse his lips to the side, making you worry you’ve touched a nerve—But Sunghoon speaks before you have the chance. 

“I used to train with the Olympic team but it was too much pressure for me, and I much prefer coaching nowadays, it’s, like, the perfect way for me to feel all the joy of skating and absolutely none of the stress.” The fond smile on his face makes you think he means it.

It almost feels wrong to sit on his neatly made bed but you take a seat on its edge anyway, desperate for one of you to at least look comfortable in this situation. BaMa sits between his pillows and you can’t help but smile at the penguin who stares back at you, unimpressed. Sunghoon stays in place. From where you’re sitting, it’d be difficult to miss the way his eyes widen, stuck on you as he chews on his bottom lip. “Are you okay?” you ask him after a while, starting to feel awkward under his stare. 

For a split second, Sunghoon presses his lips into a straight line that shows his dimple before shrugging. “I’ve never brought a girl to my room before. I don’t know what we’re supposed to do,” he says, fixing his gaze on the wall behind you. 

“The only thing we’re supposed to do is whatever you want. Whatever you’re comfortable with.”

Sunghoon looks at you, thinking. “We should kiss,” he blurts out. 

“That’s what you want?”

“Badly.” But he doesn’t move. 

You wait it out a little, counting thirty whole seconds with no sign of movement from him. “How’re you gonna kiss me from over there?” 

A gorgeous grin takes over his face. Sunghoon closes the door behind him, crossing the room in a few paces to sit beside you. With some hesitation he pats his lap, struggling to meet your eyes while he does so. Your insides feel like a shaken bottle of Coke when you straddle him, and you can hear him exhale shakily at the way your dress hitches up, showing off your bare thighs. Sunghoon’s thighs are firm underneath you, his pants soft against your skin. It’s no use trying not to think about riding his thigh or riding him. But try as you might, your efforts don’t stand a chance against the feeling of him hardening under you.

His lips catch yours in a gentle kiss. You can feel the way he smiles, feel a giggle, light, airy, passing from his mouth into yours. It’s hard not to smile too. His fists clench behind you, bunching up the fabric of your dress in his palms desperately. Hard and thick, his cock presses against your core. You moan and Sunghoon all but freezes, his hands releasing your dress.  

Barely a second passes before he grabs you again, leaning back against the bed without breaking the kiss for anything, until you need to catch your breath and you pull away, sitting back in his lap with your hands resting on his toned stomach. You instinctively grind down on him when his cock twitches under you.

From your seat you can see the way his eyes widen when you do, see his Adam’s apple bob in his throat when he gulps. Or maybe the gulp came first; it’s hard to say. Either way, you don’t think you care. He sighs, relieved when you rock your hips against his for a second time. 

Sunghoon looks like sin the third time you do it, groaning and sitting up on his elbows, looking at you through lidded eyes, sighing through pouty lips. “I’m not ready to have sex yet.” 

You freeze in place. “That’s okay.” 

“I’m sorry.” 

“Don’t apologise, there’s nothing to be sorry for. I’m ready when you are.” 

“I just feel bad that you came all the way over here for nothing.”

Looking down at Sunghoon with all of the uncertainty on his face makes your stomach twist. You wish he knew how much you like being with him; like spending time with him. Wish he knew how nice it was to spend the day sitting by the pool and just getting to look at him. How nice it was to eat fruit in the park with him. To talk about nothing on the phone before bed. You rest a hand on his cheek, melting when his fingers wrap around your wrist and his thumb strokes the back of your hand. “Hoon, I’m not here because I wanna have sex with you, I’m here because I like you.” This thing you’ve felt for weeks, lived with and nurtured seems so foreign now that you’ve put it into words. 

The smile on his sweet face almost has you saying it again, and again, if for no other reason than seeing the way his fangs peek out at you, or how his eyes crinkle up into crescents, or hearing how he laughs, breathy, happy.  Sunghoon moves his head to kiss your palm. “I like you,” he says into your skin, mumbling like it’s a secret. “And I like being with you.”  

Even though Sunghoon saying he likes you feels a bit like a toddler telling you they can’t read, the statement shocks you. You knew he liked you, there wasn’t a shadow of a doubt this entire time, but hearing the words, feeling the shape of them against your palm makes his feelings for you seem tangible; so vivid; so thick. Like moisturiser sinking into your pores. 

He moves his head a little so your hand cups his cheek again. He smiles, soft, shy, Sunghoon. “You do.. eventually want that though, right?” The way his brows knit together when he asks is so cute that you can’t help but laugh a little. “Like, to have sex with me,” he adds. 

“Yes, when you’re ready.” 

“I’m ready to do.. other things,” he says, voice dwindling into a shy whisper. 

Curiosity piqued, you arch a brow. “Yeah?” Sunghoon nods. You press on. “Other things like..” 

A beat passes, and Sunghoon doesn’t speak. 

Instead, he opts to pull you down close to his chest, turning the two of you over. My God. His thin silver chain slips out of his shirt, swinging over your face just a bit, his light hair tickles your skin. You think you’d be happy if you died like this. With his bottom lip pinned between his teeth, his eyes scan your face, locking on your parted lips. His fingernail traces shapes on your hip, you immediately notice how blunt it is now compared to yesterday at the pool and can’t help but smile. Sunghoon moves his hand, his fingertips ghosting over your skin until he reaches the top of your panties. 

“Is this okay?” he asks. 

You nod, smiling, eager. You think you might die like this. 

His finger is long and thick, rubbing devastatingly slow circles on your clit through your underwear. Sunghoon puts a little pressure on it, just enough to please you yet still leave you wanting more. He slips a finger into your hole, pressing a kiss to your lips and catching your gasp in his mouth. 

“What got you so wet, baby?” 

There’s something about hearing these words from Sunghoon that makes them sound new, makes them sound fresh; alluring. Makes you want to cum on the spot when you answer. “You did.” Quickly, you learn that the way his lips quirk up into a smile also makes you want to cum on the spot.

You try to focus on the feeling of his tongue on yours, on the loud, wet sound of your lips smacking together, on anything other than how much better one of his fingers feels than two of yours. How much better he fills you up. How quickly he finds your spot and presses on it. A surge of pleasure licks down your spine, causing you to yelp. Kissing becomes hard fast, but if the way he moves his head to your suck lightly at your neck is anything to go by, he doesn’t mind.

He bites and he nips and he kisses the tender skin to soothe you, all while pushing a second finger into you. Time stops at the stretch and you arch your back towards the ceiling. He passes a breathy laugh; calls you cute. Your thighs press together around his hand. 

Leaning up from your skin, he makes a scissor motion with his fingers to work you open, studying the way your eyes screw shut, liking the way you gasp. His head dips back down beside yours, hair tickling your face. You can feel his lips graze your skin, breath fanning your ear. 

“I can’t stop imagining how you might taste,” Sunghoon whispers. “You gonna let me find out?” 

Your dress is bunched up around your waist, and if it wasn’t for all the material, you might have been able to see the trail of spit and love bites that Sunghoon had left on your stomach. You’ll have no choice but to wear one-pieces and full-length shirts for at least a week. There’s a smile on his face as he looks up at you from between your thighs. 

Sunghoon kisses the dark spot on your panties, holding the wet fabric between his lips, tasting you. A quiet moan slips from him, and your body jolts involuntarily, a chill inching up your spine. His fingers hook on the sides of your underwear and he looks up at you, smiling when you nod your head, pulling them down when you lift your hips. With all that material out of the way, he can finally see your pussy, and the word fuck comes tumbling from his lips before he groans. “So pretty, you’re so pretty, YN.”

He buries his face between your thighs to press light kisses to your clit, pecking it sweetly. Your body buzzes from the contact. “Shit,” you sigh at the feeling of him licking a strip from your dripping hole back up to your clit. 

“My God,” he whispers, licking his lips. He presses his tongue against you, lapping up your wetness and humming appreciatively. Sunghoon’s eyes flutter shut when he holds your swollen clit between his lips, sucking on it, licking at it, slowly, passionately, the way he kisses your mouth. His movements make you jolt and he chuckles against you, a delicious vibration running along your cunt.

Unable to fully express how you feel, you settle with saying so good through a whine. A match strikes a flame in your stomach when Sunghoon moves his head down a little, letting his tongue tease your hole, his nose bumps your clit and he moans into you when you clench around the tip of his tongue. You can’t help but grip his hair to hold him in place, hoping he’ll never stop.

Shamelessly, you hump his pretty face as your orgasm quickly approaches, reminding you how long it’s been since you were last eaten out — not that anyone has ever come close to making you feel this good.  

His lips focus on your clit again as he presses a thick finger into your hole, curling it up towards your belly button a few times before adding another. Immediately, your toes curl up, everything flashes white behind your eyelids while your orgasm rips through you and Sunghoon moans when you finish. You’re thankful for the way he slows down, letting your cum slip out onto his lips and chin for a beat before sucking and licking your slit to clean you up, holding you down as you squirm against his sheets from the sensitivity. 

Looking just as spent as you feel, he leans back on his heels. His eyes are blown wide, his chest heaving, and his lips are swollen, glistening in your arousal that’s spread all over the lower part of his face. Spellbound and unblinking, he stares straight ahead at your cunt. 

“Hoon,” you say, breathless, leaning up on your elbows. 

“Yeah, baby?” He doesn’t look away when he speaks. The trance seems to break at your lack of a response and he seems to want to cuddle just as much as you do if the way he scrambles off the floor and crawls over the bed to you is anything to go by.

Save for Sunghoon’s coaching sessions, the two of you are practically joined at the hip for the entire weekend. In the mornings and before bed, you brush your teeth together and don’t even separate to shower, stuffing yourselves in the cubicle to make out and lather shampoo in each other's hair or soap on each other's backs. 

It’s this excess time together that makes waking up to nothing but a note in Sunghoon’s absence so disturbing. His handwriting stirs something in you, the short and sweet: miss you already, please come visit me at work :) 

None of the girls want to go with you, so you find yourself trying on different swimsuits and figuring out what you’ll do at the pool on your own. With four magazines you’ve already read, a book, and your laptop just in case, you make your way there, enjoying the sun on your skin as you walk. 

“Hi!” A chirpy voice makes you flinch when you reach the pool. Sunoo’s whole face is curved into a grin when you look at him. “I’m Sunoo!” he says, extending a hand for you to shake. His grip is firm, not matching his smile at all. “Do you wanna hang out with us?” 

Equal parts excited and scared to say no, you nod. Dumping your bag in a locker, you meet Sunoo out by the changing rooms’ entrance, and he smiles when he sees you. You follow him over to the smaller pool where the rest of the boys are, Sunghoon included, and introduces you. 

The boys look around at one another, wondering if Sunoo knows that all of them have already met you. He doesn’t pay it any mind, jumping in and joining them. They all continue bothering each other while you sit on the edge, dipping your legs into the water. 

Sunghoon, who’s been grinning at you since you arrived, swims over to you and stands in the space between your legs. Cool droplets hit your thighs when he lifts his arms up to wrap around your waist in an embrace that might leave others wondering how many years it’s been since you last saw each other. After promising Jungwon that you won’t make fun of his armbands, you card your fingers through Sunghoon’s wet hair, giggling to yourself when he presses a kiss to your stomach. 

“Aren’t you supposed to be working?” 

“Well, yes,” he says, looking up at you with a pout on his lips. “I’m just on duty at this pool today. Are you unhappy to be spending time with me?” 

“A little.”

Sunghoon pulls you into the water with him. “Even as a joke I don’t like that you said that.” There’s a crease in his brow that you want to kiss away but he’s already calling the boys over when you have the idea. Before you know it, all seven of them are splashing you with so much vigour that you don’t even bother fighting back. Even Riki who’s taken a liking to you shows no mercy.

As much fun as you had, you can’t help but feel a little drained when Sunghoon takes you home at the end of the day. You end up spending the week with him and his friends, and Riki seems crushed when you politely decline his invitation to poker night on Friday but his spirits lift when you say you’ll treat him to ice cream if he wins. On Saturday afternoon when you get out of the shower, you spend the better part of an hour wrapped in your towel texting Sunghoon, grinning at the messages he sent you while you were catching up on the girls’ group chat. 

sh: riki didn’t win anything last night so don’t let him lie to you, ok baby?

sh: plus im kinda mad at him ngl ..

sh: i wanna see u today

sh: only you

sh: need it :( 

sh: if i find out you’re making plans w riki rn i’ll kill him 

sh: babyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

sh: i miss you can i take you out 

you: why are you beefing a kid ur 500 

sh: you’re older than me ???

you: yes and ur my baby bubu bear 

sh: .. 

sh: picnic baby

sh: ? 

you: yes when

sh: rn.. 

you: uhm..

you: let me go get ready i miss u so bad

Your picnic quickly turns into an evening nap session for Sunghoon who, full on pizza and cider, lays down on his stomach with closed eyes and his cheek on his forearms. Meanwhile, you slowly sip cider from a sun-warmed bottle and pick off bits of pepperoni to eat, knowing Sunghoon will be annoyed about it later. The setting sun shifts the sky through warm oranges and purples, casting its hues over the park and Sunghoon’s sleeping form. 

“Quit watching me,” he mumbles, blinking his eyes open and yawning as he sits back up. Soft hair is all flat on the side he’d been lying on and his lips rest in a pout that, when combined with his eyes resting in a permanent squint, makes him look confused.

You watch with a grin on your face as he sits back on his hands, crossing his legs. “I have something for you, actually.” 

“For me?” you ask, shocked, your brows raise, and butterflies go crazy in your stomach. The thought of Sunghoon seeing something and thinking of you drives you crazy; you’re in way deeper than you could ever have anticipated. 

You hear the bikes whizzing past you, zipping down the cycle path over to your left, you can see the people walking dogs, pushing strollers, jogging, walking. But it still feels like you’re the only people here. The only two people left in the world, sitting on Sunghoon’s blanket in the middle of this park you’ve come to frequent. 

“For you. Do you see anyone else here?” Sunghoon chuckles, though you can see his nervousness peeking through the joy on his face. “Well, kinda for us I guess, to put it properly. You know what? No, it’s dumb. Forget I spoke.” He covers his face with his hands, embarrassed. 

“Something for us?” Even though it’s not a new development, the thought of you both being an us, in any capacity, still makes you giddy, and the butterflies in your stomach are bordering on feral. “Baby, come on. If it’s from you it’s not dumb. I promise I’ll love it.” You nudge his knee gently.

“You promise?” 

“Promise.” Your pinky finds his, linking together for a little while longer than you’d expected. 

“There’s some stuff I have to say first though, is that okay?” he asks, continuing when you nod. “I know you don’t like talking about it, but we should probably have some kind of conversation about what’s going to happen when you go back to uni, you know?” 

The thought of leaving unsettles you; of leaving him, but you’re desperate not to show it. “Yeah,” you say, aiming for calm but hitting upset instead.

Sunghoon chews on his lip before he speaks again. “And you’re happy, right? Like, with me?” 

You nod. Of course, you want to say but the words get caught in your head, how could I not be?

“Good.” Sunghoon smiles. “Because I like you, so much, and I hate the idea of you going back and telling all your friends about the totally awesome, smokin’ hot, mega babe you hooked up with over the summer.” He continues when you nod. “So I’ve been thinking it might be nice if, when your uni friends ask about your summer, and you feel comfortable talking about me, that you tell them about me as your boyfriend.” The uncertainty in his tone doesn’t match the widening grin on his face while speaking, and the word boyfriend comes out as nothing more than a whisper but you hear it clear as day. 

Head spinning, you meet his eyes, a hopeful glint behind them as he watches you. “Do you mean my totally awesome, smokin’ hot, mega babe boyfriend?” 

“It wouldn’t upset me if you said that.” 

“I’ll keep that in mind.”

“Hold that thought,” he blurts out, opening his backpack. 

Drawing a deep breath, Sunghoon pulls out a pink box with your name written neatly on it before placing it in your lap and asking you to open it. He chews on his lip while he watches. 

WILL YOU BE MY GIRL ? is written on little chocolates that span three rows. The word girl is followed by six empty slots that you can only assume held the word friend. Between the shy look on Sunghoon’s face, and the gesture as a whole your heart leaps jaggedly in your chest. “Will you be my girl?” you read, unable to keep from grinning like a fool.

“I picked them up yesterday before the guys came over, and Riki..” he pauses to sigh, bringing a hand up to scratch the back of his neck. “He ate part of them. I think he shared them with Jungwon actually — not that it matters. Anyway, the store’s closed on Sundays so I wasn’t able to replace them or anything, and I didn’t wanna wait any longer to ask,” Sunghoon says in a partial ramble. 

You look down at the pretty pink box in your hands and giggle to yourself. His friends are cute, you think. “I mean, they could’ve eaten the girl part.”

Sunghoon nods his head, grinning. “At least the sentiment still stands.” He eats a raspberry before looking up at you expectantly. “So, will you be my girl?”

With a smile spread on your face, you nod. “Yes, Hoon, I’ll be your girl,” you say, hoping he knows you’ve always been his girl. 

You cuddle in the grass with your boyfriend until the sun goes down, giddy from cider and the joys of summer romance when he walks you to your door. The two of you stand under the light at the doorstep, grinning competitively at one another. Reluctantly, Sunghoon bids you goodnight with a kiss and — just like after your first date — he stands there beaming brightly long after you’ve gone inside. 

A few nights later the two of you have your first sleepover as a couple and Sunghoon seems to take the idea in stride, showing up at your door with an overnight bag stuffed with his skincare, actual pyjamas, and snacks. Plus a bottle of wine he brought for his first meeting with your parents, despite having already had an awkward meeting with your mum at 3 a.m. in the hallway two weeks ago.

With his face glowing under the lamp on your desk, Sunghoon makes a show of bringing up the time he’d talked at length about his friends and says he thinks it only fair that you talk about yours. Your college friends. A blush coats his cheeks when you tell him he doesn’t need an excuse or justification to ask you things he’s curious about. 

This results in him sitting cross-legged on the bed in front of you, asking you silly things like what kind of Youtube videos you like to watch (his ears burn red when you say Park Sunghoon skating compilations), and more serious — to him — things like what your first impression of him was (he covers his face when you say I thought you were the cutest boy I’d ever seen, and it upset me that you missed so much school). 

“Do you think we would’ve dated if I was in school more?” 

“We are dating.” 

“I mean back then.”

“When we were five?” 

Sunghoon nods. 

“Even if we did date back then, we’d have broken up by lunchtime.” 

His jaw drops. “But it’s us,” he says like it’s the simplest thing ever. It takes a while to console your pouting boyfriend but when he moves on he gets back to asking about your friends. 

“They’re like.. the only reason I don’t completely regret picking my major.” The words come out before you can help them. You rarely talk with Sunghoon, or anyone, about your major, never mentioning much more than what results you got or the classes you’re taking if someone asks. 

So it doesn’t surprise you that he sees this as an opportunity to ask you about it. “Why do you hate it so much?” 

“It just makes me unhappy.” You feel your lips sagging at the corners when you finish speaking. “And the thought of working in that field forever, or, at all, makes me feel physically sick.” 

“What are you gonna do after graduation?” 

A tightness occupies your chest. You think about your brother, on the other end of the country, favouring texts over calls so no one has to hear the sadness in his voice when asked about work. You think about the future, all the unknowns awaiting you once you leave the familiarity of the education system. “I don’t.. I don’t know.” You hate how small your voice sounds when you say it.

You don’t even realise that you’re crying until Sunghoon mumbles hey, no, baby, it’s okay, and cups your cheeks with his hands, using his thumbs to wipe your tears. “I’m sorry,” he mumbles. “I’m on your side, okay? You know that. I’m not trying to upset you, baby, just trying to understand. To help.” Wrapping his arms around you, he pulls you into him, letting you cry into his shirt. “If I’m going about it the wrong way you can tell me, I never want to make you cry.” 

For a while the two of you sit in silence while Sunghoon rubs your back and kisses the top of your head, only speaking when you’ve stopped sniffling. “How about you finish telling me about the girls? Minjeong, Jimin, Aeri, and Yizhuo, right?”

You don’t even remember telling him their names, besides maybe mentioning missing Minjeong. “You remember their names.” It’s not a question, not really. When you pull away from him, looking up, your heart snags in your chest at the sight. Of lovely Sunghoon and his small smile, the Kuromi headband holding his hair back. You want to cry again. 

“I remember everything you tell me.” 

Everything about him is lovely, from his soft cheeks to the Piplup pyjama pants he’s wearing and the way he’s looking at you with literal heart eyes. 

Knowing that Sunghoon has his last competition coming up, you savour every second with him. Barely sleeping that night trying to prepare for the lonely nights to come, memorising the feeling of his arms and the steady beat of his heart against your ear. 

His training schedule is rigorous and he’s had to stop his shifts at the pool to accommodate it, committing his days to skating and his nights to you when he can. Though he’s always so tired by the time he gets to your house that he can only sleepily sit through dinner with your parents and falls asleep almost as soon as his head hits the pillow. 

Like most nights you spend apart, Sunghoon’s face fills your screen, talking about what he did that day that kept him from you. Today’s activity was back-to-back coaching sessions, then going to the movies with the boys, and, now, tired out from pretending to be patient, his eyelids are shut for most of the conversation. He looks so warm and cosy under his duvet that you wish you were there with him, or that he was here with you.

“I can come over if you want me to,” he says, and from the way he sits up, you can tell he means it. 

You hadn’t meant for those thoughts to be verbalised.

Looking to your left, at the space in your bed, you don’t trust yourself to be alone with him. Not here. You do want to see him though. Almost desperately. For the good of you both, you shake your head. “Let’s go for a drive?” 

Sunghoon smiles and your stomach turns. “Give me 25 minutes.” He cuts the phone. 

Sitting in the darkness of his car is way worse than having him in your bed. Having started on your knee, his big hand now rests on your thigh, barely an inch away from where your shorts start. A cold sweat breaks out on your skin. Leaning your head against the window, you let your eyes fall shut while Sunghoon sings SZA quietly. Eventually, the car comes to a stop.

“We’re here.” 

It’s too dark out to see anything properly until Sunghoon opens your door for you. “The park,” you say, looking around at the now familiar street. “Wouldn’t be my first choice for a murder.”  

“If you think about it, it’s sorta perfect. Who would hear you screaming for help at 2 a.m. on a Wednesday?”

Sunghoon pulls his backpack and a fleecy blanket from the backseat, and, with a ridiculous grin, you watch him put the blanket down in the grass, not too far from where he’d parked the car. You leave your sandals to the side and sit down next to him. 

“The store was closed, so we’ll have to deal,” he explains, taking out some fruit and two bottles of water. 

You shake your head. “It’s perfect.” 

Sunghoon lets you feed him strawberries, humming appreciatively around your fingers. You take a few sips of water before shifting on the blanket, turning around in the space between Sunghoon’s open legs and leaning back on his chest. He hums the same SZA song from his car and you can’t help but close your eyes. 

You tip your chin to kiss him, accidentally letting your hand rest on his lap. 

Ever since that day in his room, things between you have found a way to turn sexual after a while. Not that either of you seems to mind. Though you will admit that sometimes it is nice to just sit with Sunghoon and watch the sun come up over the hills by his house. Or to watch Mighty Ducks on your laptop with your head on his shoulder. 

Tonight doesn’t seem like one of those “sometimes”, but you really can’t find it in you to complain or want to change anything when he slips his hand down the front of your shorts. More focused on the way your lips feel on his, Sunghoon lazily runs his finger through your slick for a beat before pushing into you and smiling to himself as you gasp against the kiss. 

You pull away from him, shifting around a little, trying to angle yourself so you can see what you’re doing when you tug his waistband out of the way. The sight of Sunghoon’s cock, of his pretty tip coated in precum that dribbles from his slit down his shaft never gets old. If anything, it only turns you on more and more each time. You stroke him slowly, occasionally letting a finger tease the spot below his head, just the way he likes it.

“Oh, my G—” Sunghoon cuts himself off with a groan, pressing his lips to yours again.

The breeze tickles your arms, keeping you cool despite the way your skin burns under his touch. He’s close to cumming, you can tell in the way his cock twitches in your hold.

“I want you,” he mumbles against your lips. 

“You have me.” Sunghoon lifts his head away from yours after you speak, looking down his nose at you. It seems like he’s searching your face for something as he pushes a third finger into your hole. Something clicks in your head, understanding. “Fuck me,” you say, barely short of begging.

His hips buck up into your still hand. “I don’t have a condom.” 

“You’re joking.” 

“No,” he sighs, shaking his head solemnly. “I wish.” A frown teases at your lips. “Why didn’t you bring one?”

You arch a brow. “Why would I bring a condom when we’re waiting to have sex?” 

“Because I don’t wanna wait anymore.” 

“Ok,” you nod, trying to think as he separates his fingers. “Well, this is.. this is me finding that out, right now.”

Sunghoon’s never put a fourth finger in you before; it’s a tight fit. Your head falls back and you give up your poor attempt at continuing to jerk him off. “I don’t care if you don’t. About condoms.” 

“Oh, you’re on the pill?” 

“I ran out two weeks ago, I thought.. you’d give me—” A moan cuts you off. Sunghoon chuckles. “I thought you’d give me notice or something.” 

“Notice?” he asks, voice high, incredulous. A beat passes. “I don’t care,” he says eventually. “I need you.” 

You nod your head, relieved. Whining a little when Sunghoon pulls his hand out of you, and whining a lot when he sucks on each of his fingers, one at a time. “I’ll get Plan B in the morning,” you say, scrambling to your knees, facing him. 

“We’ll go together.” A soft smile spreads across his lips as he holds you by the waist. “And I’ll ask Jake to pray for us.”

Hungrily, you watch as he pulls his white t-shirt over his head. There’s a flash of something in his eyes. Sunghoon has a firm grip on your shorts, barely a second away from yanking them off when he stops, leaning away. “I’ve never..” he trails off, struggling to hold eye contact. “I’ve had sex just not.. outside,” he whispers, his lips pouting through his words.

Despite your desperation, you can’t help but feel like maybe this shouldn’t be the moment you two have sex for the first time. You almost can’t believe yourself, having Sunghoon here, hot, sweaty, with his kiss-plumped lips, and lidded eyes; his groans, and his sighs; his wandering hands and hard cock pressed against you, yet thinking that maybe you should wait a little longer. 

“We don’t have to do this now.” 

“I do.”

“Okay,” you whisper, relieved, pressing your lips onto his. You shiver in Sunghoon’s hold, cold and chasing his kiss when he pulls away, shuddering at the feeling of his fingertip grazing your collarbone. 

“You’re cold, baby.” 

You shake your head. “I’m not.” As soon as the words leave your mouth, your body betrays you and your teeth chatter. 

Sunghoon frowns at you, playing with some of your hair beside your ear. “You have goosebumps, and your teeth are clattering. I’ll take you home, come on,” he says, letting go of you. 

“I have goosebumps because I’m horny, and I want you to fuck me,” you admit, feeling your need for him in every part of your body. “And I don’t want you to be nice about it either, I’m already your girlfriend.” 

You watch him gulp. Sunghoon’s eyes scan your face. He leans into your touch when you let your palm cup his cheek, his skin is burning hot, if it was any lighter outside you might have been able to see the pink on his face. He wraps his thick fingers around your wrist, letting his thumb stroke the back of your hand, and his pretty eyes find yours. 

“I want to, so bad, but you’re freezing.” He kisses your palm. “How about I take you home and fuck you there, hmm? I won’t be nice, I promise.” 

Oh, God, you think, clenching around nothing. 

Dazed, you almost agree until something clicks. “Take this off,” you say, practically begging as you tug at his knitted hoodie. His brows knit together. “Let me wear it.” Without hesitation, Sunghoon pulls the jumper over his head and slips it over you. “Please, Hoon,” you all but beg, as you put your arms through it. 

The two of you are close enough that you can see his pupils dilating as his eyes trail over your body. “I like my clothes on you.” Is the only thing he says before kissing you again.

Sunghoon’s hands are all over you, eventually settling on the top of your shorts, as he does his best to tug them off. You raise your hips to help him out before settling back into his lap, whining at the feeling of him under you, touching your pussy for the first time. He throbs against you when you grind down on him.

It all seems so real now. He’s so big; so hard, that you start to worry. Suddenly you remember the ache in your jaw every time you suck him off and how much of him is left over, even when his head inches its way down your throat.

Flustered, you start to stall a little, rocking back and forth on his length, coating him in your wetness. You take him in your hand after a while, jerking him a little to spread his precum and your slick all over him. He doesn’t seem to notice that you’re whiling up time, and if he does, then he doesn’t seem to care, simply moaning when you lift yourself off of him to stroke your clit with his tip and tease your slit. 

Sunghoon’s teeth worry his bottom lip as you try to take him, his head falling forward, eyes trained on the spot between your bodies where you connect. His hold on your waist is so firm you can practically feel bruises forming under his fingertips and the sting of his cock pushing into you makes you draw a breath. “Just take your time, yeah?” he mumbles. “No rush.” 

No rush? you think, he must be crazy. You don’t think you can wait any longer, trying hard to sink down on him despite the pain of the stretch. You like it, that sting, the heat, you don’t want to go without it ever again. You must be crazy. Fuck, and Sunghoon are the only things you can bring yourself to say.

“I know, baby. I’m sorry,” he tells you. “It’s okay,” he says, though he doesn’t look like he’s doing any better than you are. 

Sunghoon’s head falls forward once you’ve taken all of him, his teeth sinking into the skin at the base of your neck as he lets out a broken whine. Everything feels a little too much to bear. It’s so hot, when did it get so hot? With the last few crumbs of your brain power, you tell yourself to take the hoodie off, but you feel like you can’t move. 

He fits so well, fills you up just right. 

With a shaky breath, he lifts his head to look up at you. “So beautiful.” Sunghoon pushes some of your hair from your face. “Good girl,” he coos, using his thumb to wipe tears you hadn’t even realised were there. “You’re doing such a good job, baby. Taking me so good.”

Sunghoon asks if you’re okay. It sounds like Sunghoon asks if you’re okay.

Your fist balls around the fabric of his cotton shirt. “Warm,” you whisper. “Too warm.” He loosens his grip around your waist, moving his hands to your hips to pull the hoodie off of you. You lean back a little to let him take it off and feel as if you’re being split open, the angle only pushing him deeper. 

With the hoodie off, the cool summer breeze makes you feel a lot better; makes taking him a lot more manageable. So you move. His pretty face scrunches with pleasure, as a long, heady groan comes from his throat. “You feel so good. So tight.” There’s something in his voice that you don’t recognise, desperation, need. Sweat beads along his hairline, the flush in his cheeks so prominent you can see it despite the dark. 

You want to see him like this all the time. Need to.

His hips buck up towards you, seeming to catch you both off guard if the way you gasp simultaneously is anything to go by. He wraps his arm around your waist, his trembling hand beating against your skin, and lets his other hand rest on the blanket behind him, leaning back on it. 

“You’re so good at this,” you sigh. “How are you so good at this?” You practically clamp your mouth shut, not letting yourself say any more lest you propose to him, or worse, expose your breeding kink.

Sunghoon only gives you a languid smile before kissing you. 

It’s more than a little hard to focus on coordinating the movement of your lips and tongue when he’s fucking you the way he is; lifting you off of him so only his tip stays inside, then thrusting all the way back in, deep and slow, trying to feel every single part of you and doing a good job hitting that spot that has you seeing stars. So the kiss is messy and loud, an exchange of spit and moans but you’re way too turned on to care. 

Before long, he uses his hand to pull down the front of your vest, attaching his wet mouth to your nipple instead and your brain short circuits. He moans into your skin when you clench around him, his body stuttering under you.

“Baby, I don’t..” Sunghoon sighs, lifting his head from your chest to look at you. He’s the picture of desire, of lust, with his messy hair and parted lips, the sweat slipping from his brow bone. “I don’t think I’m gonna last much longer,” he admits, thick brows pulled into a furrow.

At this rate, you don’t think you will either. His words only make you dizzy, they spur you on as desperation sets in; to see him cum, to feel it. Like always, his sounds are just as pretty as the rest of him, his grunts and his groans, and the ragged breaths that catch in his throat. And you quiver in his lap at the feeling of a knot forming in your stomach, immediately unravelling when his finger catches your clit again. 

Your head falls back. “I’m—” Is the only thing you can say.

“I know, baby, don’t hold back. I wanna see you make a mess.” 

His words send you over the edge, forcing your orgasm out of you while Sunghoon moans and fucks you through it. So good, baby, he mumbles over and over, stuttering through the words when you cum, though you barely hear him over the sound of his cock squelching up into you. 

A shaky breath and the word fuck tumbles from his lips. 

Sunghoon’s thighs tense and his stomach does the same. Shuddering under you, he cums hard, filling you up completely. You’ve never had a guy cum inside before, let alone been fucked without a condom, so you weren’t sure what to expect. But nothing could have prepared you for this. 

Heat courses through you everywhere, and you’ve never been so warm in your life. You can feel every last drop of his hot cum spilling into you, can feel it leaking out around him, slicking up your thighs. Shaking in Sunghoon’s lap, you’re full in the best way, eyes rolling back as your mind goes completely blank. 

Both of you try to catch your breath as he holds onto you tightly, his arms hugging around your waist. You’re having a hard time calming down with him still inside, but you don’t think you could move if you tried, and it seems as though he feels the same, only being able to bring his head away from your chest. With heaving shoulders and a dazed look in his eyes, he smiles up at you, sweet, contagious. Drunk on him, a laugh starts to bubble in your throat, forcing its way out. Sunghoon laughs too, and breathy chuckles slip from you both, happy, delighted. 

He reaches for some napkins, cleaning up what he can with you still in his lap before reaching for his hoodie. You watch as he folds it up a couple of times before putting it down near the blanket’s edge, shifting over a bit to hold you in his arms and lay you down, the hoodie under your head like a pillow. 

You think he must be an angel. 

Gently, he separates your legs to clean you up properly before pulling his boxers and shorts back up. You watch as he looks around the space for something, returning to your feet to help you put your underwear and shorts back on, sniffling a little and making his way to lie down on the grass beside you. Sunghoon reaches over your body and uses the remaining blanket behind you to cover you up. 

Sleepily, you rest your head on his chest, feeling his heart race against your cheek. “You’re so big, Hoon,” you whisper, mind still reeling. 

A beat passes. “Ok, baby, thank you,” he says a little awkwardly, you can feel his chest stutter as he chuckles and you can’t help but smile.

The stars above you beam brightly and you don’t think you’ve ever seen so many at once, peeking through the few dark clouds that drag lazily through the sky.

“You did so well tonight, YN,” Sunghoon tells you after a while. “You always do so well.” Your heart beats in your throat as he kisses the top of your head.

“Really?” 

“Mm,” he hums.

Curious, you look up at him. “What did I do well?” 

“Should I fill out a performance review?” 

“I just wanna know what you’re gonna tell your friends later.” Your heart rate picks up when Sunghoon laughs, sweet, contagious. “I’m serious.”

Into the air above, he huffs a long, dramatic sigh. “You really wanna know?”

“Desperately.”

He leans up on his elbow, looking down at you. Butterflies flutter in your stomach, already nervous about what Sunghoon might say. It’s as if he’s the only person in the world, the only one that makes a difference. You can’t help but feel special under his gaze, grateful that you’re the one who gets his attention. His hand is big on the side of your face, his thumb grazes your cheek. 

Sunghoon opens his mouth but closes it before speaking, then brilliant, bright, he smiles. “I think I’m gonna tell them I’m in love with you.” Your breath hitches in your throat. “And, ask Jake to pray for us.” 

And, ask Jake to pray for us, you repeat as if bound by a spell and he nods his head. Overwhelmed, you hide your face in his shirt. “I love you.” 

Back at your place, Sunghoon does a good job of living up to what he’d promised you earlier. Leaving you to wake up that morning in his t-shirt, with your head on his chest and a dull ache between your thighs — though not before, for the first time since primary school, you (and Sunghoon) kneeled by the side of the bed to perform the sign of the cross. He’d stumbled his way through a prayer first and you followed, watching as he sent a text to Jake before eventually drifting off to sleep, tired and sore.

The duvet is bunched at the bottom of the bed, leaving your bare thighs victim to the light breeze rolling through your room. Sunghoon’s mouth is slightly ajar and he snores sweetly. Even in his sleep, his stomach is tight and his soft penis rests cute and limp against his thigh in a way that leaves you stifling a giggle. You want to kiss it. 

Regrettably, you don’t.

“Stop looking at me,” he mumbles, half-heartedly lifting his arm to cover your eyes, though, with his still shut, it ends up resting on your neck.

“I’m not.” 

Sunghoon pries open one of his eyes, catching you. He follows your gaze down his body, groaning when he realises what you’re looking at. “You’re worse than I thought,” he says, sitting up to pull your duvet back over himself, resting over his waist. “I’m never sleeping naked next to you again.” 

You open your mouth to quiz him but he covers your lips with his hand. “Or anyone else, relax.” 

“Good boy,” you mumble, the words muffled against his palm. 

“Ew,” he whispers when you lick his hand, wiping it on your t-shirt before pushing some of your hair away from your face. “How are you feeling, baby?” His voice is soft when he asks, eyes scanning your face for even the slightest sign of discomfort.

“I’m kinda sore, but I’m good.” 

“You are?” There’s pride in his voice when he asks, eyes lighting up for a beat before pressing his lips together, trying to hide a smile. His broad shoulders betray him, trembling with silent laughter. Fuck off, you mumble, just as amused as him. 

Sunghoon clears his throat. “I’m sorry, baby,” he whispers. “I’ll be gentle next time, promise.” 

Next time. The simple words and all of their hopefulness leave your mind reeling. Laying next to Sunghoon, you grin at the thought of all of your next times with him. Through the seasons of the year; through autumn; through winter, spring, and back to summer again. 

“What’s on your mind?” he asks through a yawn. 

You love him. “I love you.” 

You’re expecting him to kiss you when he starts to lean in, but he pulls you tight against his chest instead. He smells faintly like sweat when he hugs you. Like sweat, and sunblock, and peonies. Like kisses during sunset, and late-night swims. Like the happiest you’ve been in a long, long while. 

“I love you, more.”

© zreamy (2023), all rights reserved. do not repost, translate, or plagiarise my work. do let my know your thoughts !

permanent taglist: @asahicore

[newkatzkafe2023]

Okay just saw friends, family and enemies, meeting Queen Kong, now they HAVE to meet female Godzilla and Godzilla Jr. XD

(emojis don't work for this platform.)

I CHALLENGE ANYONE WHO READS THIS POST, TO TAG AND REBLOG AS MANY OF YOUR FRIENDS AS YOU CAN!!!!!!!

#Scary wife Privileges😈

(Lmk Wukong) Ohhhhhhhhhh man everyone in megaspolis can see you the Legendary godzilla. Your husband begged for months for you and godji jr to meet his friends and we finally agreed. After all godzilla jr kids Needs friends his age, so later you got to pigsy's restaurant. And everybody was either amazed or terrified, Tang was the first to notice and well...😨

Tang: P-Pigsy I-I t-think godzilla is outside your r-restaurant😨😨😨😨

Pigsy: Very funny Tang😒😒😒

Sandy:(Upon seeing you) Oh dear....😥

Wukong: Hey, you guys I want you meet my wife Y/n or goddesszilla and my son JR!!!!🥰🥰

Then the others showed up, Mk was spazzing out in a good way as he ran around you in extreme excitement. Then Mei was over here, taking selfies with goji Jr and playing with the filers with him. And Redson called his parents about the possible danger. As he hid under a table in Pigsy's restaurant.

With their Enemies 🐂🕷🌬☠️🦁🐘🕊

the spider gang did not want any of that radiation smoke🕷🕷🕷

and neither did DBK and PIF🐂🌬

Jin and Yin were fanboying all over the place🩶🤎

The Mayor knew what was good for him and stayed back and far away along with Lady bone demon☠️💀

Nezha Wasn't sure if he should report this to heaven or not

And Lastly Azure and Peng were outraged because what else has Wukong hid from them. Meanwhile Yellowtusk Did everything in his power were not to piss us off.

As for Macaque he's muttering his Prayers as he literally digs his own grave😈🤣😰

(MR Wukong) Terror Pure unadulterated Terror, your husband finally decided to tell his master about you and Jr, Any well it really could have gone better. The ground shook the camp as they see Wukong and Fruity come back with a big body and soon an even bigger body. The pilgrims were pale as snow when they saw you and Jr.

Wukong: I wanted to tell you, that I'm married now and this is my wife Y/n and my other son godzilla Jr🤗

We stared down at the pilgrims, as the monk wasted no time passing out because the monkey king is Married to GODDESSZILLA!!! pigsy pissed himself and sandy actively ran away screaming. Meanwhile fruity and goji Jr because the fastest best friends😊🥰

(NR Wukong) Ohhhhhhhhhh man this is gonna be lit🤩🤩🤩🤩. Everyone was so stoked to meet godzilla, and Wukong Sorta found himself bragging about you and his Jr. Li was at a serious lost about what to do with this information, but Jr was quick to win him over with his surprisingly social nature.

Li:(getting Lick by Jr) haha awww your so cute🥰😊

Godzilla Jr:(purrs)

Su and the others had many questions for you which you Took the time to patiently answer to the best of your while Wukong cuddle and purred into you.

Meanwhile

Ao bing: Dad is that goddesszilla???😯😲🫨

Ao Guang: Whatever you do do not make eye contact😨😰😱

(HIB Wukong) Luier and Silly girl already loved you when you made their father happy. They also became fast friends and Siblings with Godzilla Jr. Goji Jr was quick to become very protective over his younger smaller brother and Sister. But overall the 3 were loving play mates, and Silly girl had started calling you mama at the end of the visit as Luier would sit by you asking questions. Which put another painful blush on his face as he watched the whole interaction. You also Might be wondering why pigsy didn't bother to flirt with you......????

Because both of you can definitely kill him😬

(Netflix Wukong) the dragon king Screamed like a little girl when he saw you at Lin's house. While Lin herself, she could even begin to comprehend what's going on here. Wukong had bought you and Goji Jr to meet his friends and so far Goji Jr loved Lin as he went and licked her face. Making Lin laugh at the tickles, meanwhile dragon king was down for the count as you stared down at him with a glare. Dragon king remained on his best behavior while you were there Because his life literally depended on it.

FEEL FREE TO REBLOG

[mhsdatgo]

The Helaemonds/Helaegons need to calm down.

Don't get me wrong, it's always refreshing to see some people fill in the gaps of a basically untold relationship such as the one between the green kids in general, but this goes beyond basic obsessive shippy discourse. Leave this poor girl alone. Why's there an obsession with having her be romantically paired with her brothers, one worse than the other?

I understand the show has basically shown so little of her to the point where we didn’t even have a coronation for her on screen, so therefore you can self insert through her and have fun with headcanons regarding Aegon and Aemond. Really, I'm not faulting their girlies, you can be head over heels for whatever actor in character you want (unless you put them on pedestals and start acting like they did nothing wrong and pounce on whoever contests them, THEN we have a problem) but I assure you, Helaena would barely want anything to do with either of them.

Aegon is a sex pest turned sex offender, a drunkard and a neglectful father and husband at best. Her infamous toast in ep.8 has us believing that he cannot for the life of him interact with her unless he's horny drunk or that he forces himself on her at worst.* He was ready to leave them all in ep.9 before he was caught. Even the book is subtle about their relationship: all we know of them is that they sleep in shared chambers, that she was someone important and reliable in Aegon's council before B&C, and that he named her and Alicent the true Queens of his reign.

*(⚠️TW: PERSONAL OPINION⚠️ I'm not saying this last one isn't a possibility but it's sill outrageous for the way people speak about Helaena in defence of this "claim". No, she wouldn't joke about her own r*pe in front of the whole table full of people she doesn't know and right beside her abuser, and despite the hour-long metas I've read about how she's basically "too sheltered" to know what r*pe even means, I assure you she's a high-functioning autistic, not 5 years old. She can understand it perfectly.)

Helaemond is a pure show invention, I honestly wasn't expecting this many people to go up this kind of train. They barely interact, and most of the time it's Aemond saying he'd "perform his duty" should Helaena ever be wed to him, or that stare in ep.9 when he enters her chambers toiling after Alicent. It's, as always, the Aemond girlies who think poor Helaena would live her best life with Aemond, or that they are already romantically involved behind the scenes. The amount of "if one possesses a thing, the other will take it away" edits from people that are FULLY CONVINCED "the thing" is Helaena and that "the one" and "the other" are Aemond and Aegon respectively is honestly concerning.

Fics that are all about Aegon doing the worst and unspeakable things to her so "Aemond can come and save her" are y'all okay? Out of all people, HE has to save her?

Babes, I'm sorry to break your bubble, but this isn't Aegon IV/Naerys/Aemon on steroids. Aemond didn't give two shits about Helaena. No, he wasn't jealous when Jace came to ask her to dance, he just wanted to stir some shit. If we talk about the books, he didn't fucking hesitate to leave King's Landing, his sister, his mother and whatever he was doing for the Riverlands the second he heard that Daemon was there. And he brought the only means of defence they had with him. If he knew how important Vhagar was for the city's defence, he's evil, if he didn't realize it, he's dumb as fuck. Which one is it, Aemond girlies?

People beat each other to the curb about Jaehaerys, Jaehaera and Maelor's paternity like it's the Wars of The Roses. They put Helaena and Alys against the other like they have personal beef with one of them.

Stop mentioning this sweetheart only when it's about praising or hating one of her brothers. No, it's not the only option you have because she's underdeveloped as a character. There's actually another one.

LEAVE HER THE FUCK ALONE.

[plusvanity]

Unfortunately, it's going to be long. I have read your recent asks and it's outrageous indeed how he still speaks on Øystein's name (seething at the mouth while trying to convince aaaaall the people about how awful and 'a loser' he was), throwing tantrums everytime someone mentions him; somehow, I do also think that it is funny, pathetically so, that he HAS to address ANY comment (even if the said comment is not relevant to let's say, the original post) about the man he killed (and also goes as far as to get pissy and correct people that he didn't 'murder' him, he 'just killed' him). We do all agree that he will never get over Øystein simply because A) he expected a different kind of 'aftermath' with him probably skyrocketing into this black metal symbol, replacing Euronymous in the scene, being viewed overall as a legend (which can be discussed as to what extent he is recognized as such, many people are unsympathetic of Ø.'s murder and play it out as something good that happened, like he 'cleansed' the scene because after all, Øystein had it coming) and B) it infuriates him that no matter what he says or how many time he says it or even after how many years have passed, people STILL talk about Euronymous, mourn this artistic loss & there is a small fambase dedicated to his legacy. What he thought was an easy way out — eliminating the 'threat' and the source of his admiration turned into jealousy — came to bite him in the ass and he still (even though he was somewhat successful with his music! Mind you) feels like he lives in his shadow. I also don't belive that Øystein wanted to make a snuff movie out of him at all. Or at least there is no source to back it up except the 'a friend of a friend' and the only real source that supports the claim that Ø. wanted, although it was more of a pondering about which was discarded, to kill him is that one Mortiis comment.

But my question is: do you think that this pure, hot rage toward Øystein after all those years is fundamentally fueled by the fact that even in death, he feels wronged by him because he had to throw away the best years of his life away? Does it make sense? He will always bound to him whether he likes it or not, doesn't matter if he tries to be nonchalant about it.

Ps. Very off topic: are you Italian?

Regarding the supposed reasons why he won't get over Øystein:

A. He actually became an iconic symbol in Black Metal whether we like it or not because his murder is actually one of the biggest reasons why the Black Metal became so popular in the late 90s/early 00s. The other reason is Pelle's s*****e. What convinced people that 'these kids ain't kiddin' was the actual loss of lives in the scene.

Burzum sold better than Mayhem overall, and Filosofem stood in tops for years. Random people know about Varg more than they do about Øystein or Pelle. I've literally had that confirmed both on the Internet and in real life many times.

He basically became famous for taking one's life, so I don't see why he would be mad today from this perspective if he already accomplished a status in the Black Metal history.

What realistically makes more sense is option B. Varg was envious of Øystein way before he committed the crime. I explained how this works when I talked about 'narcissistic splitting'. He wanted what he couldn't have, and that was Øystein's prestige, authority, innovation, etc. Basically, what made Øystein such a great 'leader', so to speak. It was a struggle for power, and this is also what the Norwegian Court concluded when they tried to determine the reason behind the crime.

What people have to understand is that Varg is, after 30 years, STILL afraid of Øystein. Øystein still holds power over him even if he is dead. Varg will never ever get over his obsession because his obsession hides a raging inferiority complex, it is rooted in fear of being 'less than' or 'not good enough'. He is mentally stuck at the age of 19-20 when he was a nobody and his success in music depended heavily on Øystein's approval. He gets triggered by every comment in which Øystein is mentioned, he cannot help it, it's involuntary. And these comments ruin his day, I can tell you that. I've never seen someone more pathetic, living in his own head, whose biggest accomplishment in life was taking another's life made such a parody out of himself on the Internet.

Yes, even after his death, Varg is wronged by Øystein. I believe he dreams about him at night, I'm not even kidding. I believe he has dreams in which he is 19 again and a loser in front of the one whom he looked up to.

He is furious that he lost the best years of his life, but this fury is aimed towards himself (he self-sabotaged by acting on impulse and ending up in prison). This, and the fury that is aimed towards Øystein are his main fuels. Narcissists live in the past. They revisit their most impactful moments again and again, and they are not able to move forward. Stuck in a loop is the easiest way to describe Varg's thought process.

No, I don't believe at all that Øystein wanted to make a snuff movie torturing Varg and all that stuff. As their friendship deteriorated, they couldn't stand each other, and they most probably went talking shit about each other behind their backs. Classic and typical.. but Varg took it to the next level and the rest is history.

No, I'm not Italian, but what made you think that? You made me curious.

[tobiasdrake]

Digimon Adventure 01x45 - Clash of the Ultimate Levels! WarGreymon vs. MetalGarurumon / The Ultimate Clash

Previously on Digimon Adventure: In a fit of insecurity, Yamato stormed off to go talk to manosphere bros who filled his brain with the most toxic rhetoric you could imagine. Meanwhile, Pinocchimon stamped his foot and started a shit-slinging contest because Takeru wouldn't play with him and ended up getting shit on his face.

Now, the Ultimate Clash of Ultimate Levels begins... Ultimately!

Hoping the kids at home forgot where we left off, we open in a very different position for MetalGarurumon. When last we saw them, Yamato was with the kids while MetalGarurumon was quite a ways away, challenging Agumon to fight.

Apparently what he meant by "I won't miss the next shot" was that there wasn't gonna be a next shot, 'cause he was gonna turn and walk over to Yamato's side as soon as the camera was off him.

Takeru: Onii-chan.... Jou: Q-Quit joking around, Yamato! We're nakama, aren't we!? Yamato: Nakama? Jou: That's right, nakama! The nakama of Chosen Children! Yamato: Hmph. Then here's a question. Who was it that chose us? Jou: It was.... Yamato: If you can't answer that, then how can you call us nakama? Jou: (sheepish) Okay, sure, but....

Jou tries so hard to Senpai this away but Yamato, armed with new Debate Bro artillery, DESTROYS SENPAI in the arena of logic.

In seriousness, Yamato does raise a good point here. The nakama in question are a bunch of children forced together, drafted to fight a war by a mysterious someone that to date has not revealed themselves.

Nakama, the tight-knit bond of a group of people pursuing a mutual activity or goal, is their principle bond with one another. They weren't friends before this. Some individual relationships existed between them; mainly the two sets of siblings and the soccer club kids. But their principle relationship is that of being survivors and siblings-in-arms in this conflict that none of them volunteered for.

You can see the subtitles struggling with the hard-to-translate nature of nakama here. "We're Chosen Children so that makes us friends" doesn't really compute as a line of logic; What he's saying is that being Chosen Children is the mutual activity that our nakama is formed around.

Probably should have gone with "team" for nakama's translation here rather than "friends". This dialogue would have been way easier to translate that way. "Team" doesn't apply to all forms of nakama; The martial arts nakama of Dragon Ball are only occasionally a team. But for shonen protag crews, it's often a good choice.

So Yamato here makes a painfully solid argument: If the foundation of their nakama is shaky than what really are they to one another? "We have to get along because we're Chosen Children" explain to me what that means. Jou can't, because their superiors have been withholding information every step along the way. They've been handled like grunts, given intel purely on a need-to-know basis.

The dub can't resist giving Tai the first word in this conversation he's not yet a part of.

Tai: Calm down, Matt! Don't get so bent out of shape! The last thing we need right now is a hothead with attitude! You've got more important things to think about! T.K.: Everyone's upset. Joe: Look, all I know is that this stupid bickering is giving me a gigantic headache! Matt: Chill out. Joe: Matt, have you forgotten that we have been chosen to be the DigiDestined? Matt: Hmph! And would you mind telling me who exactly chose us for this dumb job anyway!? Joe: I... Uh.... Matt: Come on! I want some answers and you can't seem to give 'em to me! Joe: You have a point there....

As with the end of the previous episode, the vibe is totally changed. In the original, the other kids are shocked and stunned that Yamato is turning on them, and were struggling to even form sentences, but in the dub they fully comprehended what was happening and were outraged by it.

We see that here too. Tai's extra line to kick us off is a full-scale browbeating of Matt for his audacity, with Takeru's stunned "Onii-chan...." changed to back up Tai.

The problem of nakama rears its head here too; They don't even try to make "We're the nakama of Chosen Children" work. They leave any possible interpretation of nakama out completely.

But the dub's version also struggles with the original decision to change Chosen Children to DigiDestined. Destiny doesn't necessarily imply an active individual making choices on their behalf; It can, but it can just as easily be something mystical and unknowable.

Matt would sound goofy trying to say "Yeah, and WHO DESTINED US HUH!?!?"

So Joe's forced to say "We were chosen to be DigiDestined" to allow Matt to pivot to Yamato's armor-piercing "Who chose us?" question. But with the change in vibe, he just sounds whiny. It lacks the power of the original, especially when he follows up and yells at Joe about wanting answers to something that... Like. Didn't have anything to do with his beef until this exact moment.

With Jou soundly defeated, it's Taichi's turn to step in.

Taichi: Jou. There's no point trying to resolve this. Yamato is this kind of guy. Yamato: "This kind of guy"...? You don't know anything about me! Taichi: I do know you! You're just throwing a tantrum because things aren't going the way you want them to. Yamato: (sarcastic) Well, aren't you incredible? Even I don't really understand the kind of person I am, but you know me perfectly!

Of course, Taichi's involvement only serves to escalate matters because Taichi isn't really the "talking things down" kind of guy. His brand of bold recklessness isn't well-suited to de-escalating a tense situation.

Sora steps in to try and be the peacemaker as usual.

Sora: That's enough of that, you two. Taichi: You don't have to tell me that! Yamato's the one picking a fight with me!

Taichi reacts defensively to Sora's scolding, childishly throwing down the "He started it!" line. (In his defense, he is a child. They all are.) He's not wrong but he was escalating it, which is why Sora angled that remark at the both of them.

In the dub:

Tai: Don't waste your time, Joe. Matt's just being a big, spoiled brat! Matt: You're the brat! Why don't you go mind your own business!? Tai: The problem with you is pretty easy to figure out! You're upset because you want to be the boss! Matt: Yeah, like I want to be the boss of THIS sorry group. If any of you brainiacs want to take charge, be my guest. I say we should just take care of ourselves! Sora: Stop fighting, you two! We've got to stick together! Tai: Don't look at me! Matt's the one who started it! He's got a bug up his nose!

The bug goes up his butt but I guess they couldn't get that past the censors.

Matt's still off-script, now advocating directly for dissolving the team entirely and having everyone go their separate ways. This is rooted in the individualist rhetoric that Jureimon fed Yamato; It's what the "Okay but are we even really a nakama?" bit was about.

It's not so far off from the opinions he claimed to have when he was talking to Takeru back at the breaking of the fellowship in the PicoDevimon arc, though his actions towards Jou betrayed his professed opinions then. As Yamato said, he doesn't even understand himself.

"Why don't you go mind your own business?" Matt. My dude. I know new episode who dis but this argument is about you wanting to fight Tai. This is, without question, Tai's business. What is this line?

The argument also (sigh) makes this about who gets to be Team Leader again. A topic that has nothing to do with anything Taichi and Yamato have ever locked horns about.

In any case, something about Yamato attacking him is making Taichi feel attacked so he tries to storm off.

Taichi: I don't have to listen to this! (storms off) Agumon: You've grown up, Taichi!

I'm not 100% sure what Agumon means by that but I think he's complimenting Taichi for "being the bigger person" so to speak and walking away from this. Unfortunately, MetalGarurumon isn't going to let Taichi opt out.

MetalGarurumon: That's not happening!

MetalGarurumon leaps over Taichi and Agumon's heads, landing on the opposite side to block their exit.

Taichi: This is going too far, Yamato! Yamato: Fight me! Taichi: I told you no! Don't you understand that!? MetalGarurumon: (angry) YOU'RE THE ONES WHO DON'T UNDERSTAND!!! Taichi: (startled) A-Are you serious!? Agumon: (steps in front of Taichi) Taichi, stay back!

When MetalGarurumon snaps, he doesn't just yell at Taichi; He directs that at omae-tachi, using the plural suffix -tachi to direct that statement at everyone.

In the dub, Agumon doesn't give Tai credit for his maturity because he's stuck on Tai's misused phrase.

Tai: Hmph! I don't have to listen to this! Agumon: Bug up the nose? That's a bad thing? (Tai and Agumon exit) MetalGarurumon: One moment! (MetalGarurumon jumps in front of them) Tai: WAUGH!!! Don't push me too far! Matt: Oh, I'm scaaaaaared. Tai: You had better be scared! I'm getting really mad! MetalGarurumon: Excuuuuuse me, but what are you gonna do about it?

Taichi here reiterates his refusal to fight Yamato, while Tai starts pushing back and threatening to throw down as an intimidation tactic. But you can't intimidate someone who's already made up his mind to fight you. Tai's threatening Matt with a good time.

The dub here inserts the cut shot of Pinocchimon back up on his tree perch that they carved out of the ending of last episode.

Puppetmon: So! Those little twerps are about to self-destruct! I'll just sit back and enjoy the show!

This is their segue for breaking up the conversation and cutting to commercial. When we come back to commercial, we rejoin MetalGarurumon in the shot from the last line he delivered.

MetalGarurumon: STAY RIGHT THERE!!! Tai: Get real, dude! Agumon: (steps in front of Tai) Watch it! Stand back!

From here, MetalGarurumon lunges at Taichi and Agumon. This is enough to finally push Agumon into Warp-Evolving to WarGreymon. Show Me Your Brave Heart does not play over this evolution sequence; There is nothing to get amped up about in this.

WarGreymon deflects MetalGarurumon's pounce.

WarGreymon: Stop it! There's no reason to fight! MetalGarurumon: You may not have one, but I do!

MetalGarurumon tackles WarGreymon, shoving him back. WarGreymon takes to the sky above, with MetalGarurumon following him up. There, in the sky, the fight begins.

WarGreymon opens with a sweeping kick, though the metallic sound his attack makes on impact leaves it ambiguous as to whether he did any damage. MetalGarurumon retaliates by biting him in the elbow, sinking his fangs into WarGreymon's exposed flesh and prompting him to roar in pain.

In the dub:

WarGreymon: There is no need for us to fight. MetalGarurumon: I must.

This time it's the dub's turn to have MetalGarurumon resigned and matter-of-fact while the original is aggressive and pushy. A funny reversal from the start of their conflict last episode.

Yamato watches the fighting above them. Suddenly, Taichi marches up to him.

Yamato: Finally ready to fight me?

Taichi answers Yamato's question with a punch to the face.

Taichi: Do you understand why I hit you? Yamato: Yeah! It's because you want to fight me too. Taichi: YOU STUPID BASTARD!!!

Today in Japanese vulgarities: bakayarou. As I've mentioned before, Japanese language tends to attack people's actions or words rather than the person themselves. Even using a second-person pronoun can be considered rude in a variety of contexts.

Which brings us to bakayarou. Baka, of course, is the classic "stupid" insult seen all over anime. Adding the yarou modifier to a word is a vulgar way of saying, in a language that looks down on directly targeting words at individuals, "YOU are the thing I am describing." Often times, it gets translated as "bastard".

Like all language, there's a lot of flexibility in how it's used. But there is little ambiguity in screaming bakayarou at someone in the middle of a fistfight.

Taichi punctuates his outburst with a right hook. Yamato recoils from the hit.

Yamato: Sorry for being such an idiot, then!

Yamato punches Taichi, sending him stumbling back towards a tree. He follows up with a left punch, hitting Taichi dead in the face. Taichi recovers quickly, darting to the side to avoid Yamato's third punch and then nailing Yamato with one of his own.

(I'm sorry, Yamato, but I don't actually think you're going to outfight Reckless Bold Action Guy.)

Up in the air, MetalGarurumon swoops around WarGreymon, tackling him from the back and pushing him back down towards the forest.

In the dub:

Matt: What's the matter, you chicken!?

In a hilarious fit of censorship, they cut the impact from Tai's punch and the entire "Do you know why I hit you" to "BAKAYAROU!!!" exchange. They replace it with a shot from later in the episode of Takeru calling out to them.

T.K.: MAAAAAAATT!!! I'm gonna tell Mom that you were fighting! Matt: Sorry, T.K., but I have to do this!

Matt uses his lip flaps from "Sorry for being such an idiot!", then comes back in and swings at Tai for what is, in this version, the second punch. And the last for this part of the scene; We see Tai stumbling back from it, and then Yamato's follow-up swings are also cut. We go straight from there to MetalGarurumon bringing down WarGreymon.

Taichi and Yamato fight offscreen, with the sounds of punching in the background as the others yell at them.

Jou: Both of you, stop it now! Koushiro: Please stop this! Sora: Taichi! Calm down! Taichi: You don't understand what this is about! This punch isn't coming from me. This is FROM PICCOLOMON!!! (Taichi punches Yamato) Taichi: THIS ONE IS CHUUMON'S!!! (Taichi scores a second punch) Taichi: AND THIS IS WHAMON'S!!!

With a third and final punch (Wizarmon doesn't get one, I guess) Taichi knocks Yamato flat on his back. While Yamato tries to get b ack to his feet, Taichi kneels down and grabs him by his shirt.

Taichi: Yamato! Do you really think the Digimon who died for us... (voice breaks) ...would want us having this pointless fight!?

This is a strong moment for Taichi because it connects back to what he was trying (and failing) to say to Mimi and the others back at the graves. Taichi's words were thoughtless, he's bad at empathizing with other people's feelings, but they weren't malicious.

Taichi is grieving. He is as traumatized by all this as the others. But his trauma response is different. Grief has made him vengeful. All that stuff about "We need to take the fight to them and avenge our fallen!" is his way of processing the pain in his heart.

Taichi doesn't want to mourn; He wants violent, decisive closure.

Closeups on Taichi and Yamato's faces show that they're both crying. Taichi's eyes are misting, preparing to water, while Yamato has tears fully streaming down his face. Like Mimi, they're trying to process their own uncertainty, trauma, and grief, in their own ways.

Taichi: Do you understand now? Yamato: NO, I DON'T!!!

Yamato sucker punches Taichi suddenly, forcing him off.

Yamato: I DON'T UNDERSTAND IT AT ALL!!!

Losing himself to his feelings, Yamato starts pummeling Taichi, screaming "Kuso!", the Japanese curse word for "Shit!", over and over with each hit.

In the dub:

Joe: Both of you stop it right now! Izzy: It's ridiculous! Sora: You two are just making things worse! Tai: He's gotta be taught a lesson, and fast! Here, take this!

They pick Chuumon's punch to be the one and only punch he throws, then cut to the shot of Yamato falling on the grass; Skipping over the entire emotional breakdown of their dead friends - Though Tai still brings them up.

Tai: (grabbing Matt's shirt) I'm only doing this to honor the memory of all the great Digimon that have helped us. T_T They trusted us and believed in our commitment! Matt: T_T Tai: We can't let them down!

Matt punching himself free of Tai is then cut, and Matt simply stands up without much fuss.

Matt: (voice breaking) What if we made a mistake!? Ragh!

Too full of emotion to put much force behind that grunt, Matt swings his next punch and we skip the part where he punches his feelings out against Tai's flesh.

While Yamato is indulging in unhealthy coping mechanisms, the Digimon continue fighting above.

Palmon: What do we do? Piyomon: We have to stop them....

MetalGarurumon fires a volley of missiles from both shoulder launchers. WarGreymon is able to dodge one set, but his evasion path takes him directly into the others. MetalGarurumon scores a direct hit on his armored chest.

Tentomon: We aren't strong enough to do anything against their Ultimate forms. Tailmon: Let them tire themselves out. Gomamon: HEY!!! Don't you care about what happens to our nakama? Tailmon: Would we be able to stop them if I did? Gomamon: Well.... Tailmon: Then we have no choice but to sit back and watch. Gomamon: Damn it! You're just a newcomer so-- Tentomon: Stop that! We don't need you to start fighting too!

Hit her with your Marching Fishes, Gomamon. She's probably hungry.

In the dub:

Palmon: This is awful! Biyomon: We have to stop them! (WarGreymon hit by missiles) Tentomon: Unfortunately, they're Mega Digimon and there's nothing any of us can do about it! Gatomon: Best thing is for them to duke it out. Gomamon: I just hate fighting, and we can't let our friends destroy themselves. Gatomon: It's a dog eat dog world, isn't it? Gomamon: (confused) They're not dogs.... Gatomon: The deal is this. You just sit and watch them take care of business. Gomamon: Oh, yeah!? I don't have to like it! Tentomon: Gomamon, get a grip! The last thing we need is any more fighting around here!

Tailmon accepts the futility of intervention because they're too powerful; There's nothing the rest of us can do to stop this. Gatomon cynically tries to normalize their behavior, waxing poetic about life being cruel. That's the kind of sentiment I'd expect from her before meeting Kari.

No longer on the tree top we saw him at last episode, Pinocchimon watches the action from a lower branch.

Pinocchimon: Ehehehehe! Hahahahaha! What children, fighting over nothing!

WarGreymon lands a Brave Tornado into MetalGarurumon's face. Pinocchimon hops up and down on the branch with excitement.

Pinocchimon: Again! Again! Do it again! Keep it up until you both die!

Yamato tackles Taichi to the ground. Taichi's able to roll Yamato over, seizing control of the fight and scoring two solid face punches. Yamato grabs Taichi by his shirt suddenly and rolls backwards, flipping and throwing Taichi to escape the pin.

Takeru: STOP IT, ONII-CHAN!!! Fighting like this is bad!

Yamato answers Takeru by replaying footage of his tree punch from earlier. Finally, Mimi breaks.

Takeru: Onii-chan.... Mimi: (crying) NO MORE!!! Sora: Mimi-chan....

Mimi turns and runs away from Taichi and Yamato, making it a short distance before she crouches down beside a tree.

Mimi: (crying) Fighting and fighting... What do we get out of it!? I can't take it anymore! Sora: (approaching slowly) Mimi-chan...

This time it's Yamato's turn to be thrown off a cliff for making my kid cry.

Technically, it's Yamato and Taichi fighting that's doing this, but let's be real; Yamato is unambiguously the aggressor here, and Taichi tried repeatedly to refuse this fight. Taichi could have stood to be more tactful, but there was no talking Yamato down from this.

In the dub, Puppetmon takes credit for Cherrymon's work. What a dick!

Puppetmon: Hahahahahaha! Hehehe... Aww, I'm a genius! They're all gonna hate each other! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

WarGreymon calls Brave Tornado as Terra Force again despite that being a different attack.

Puppetmon: EEEEE!!! Go get him! Oh boy, I love a good fight!

They keep Yamato tackling Taichi to the ground and Taichi reversing the pin on him, then cut away to Mimi's departure. Even T.K.'s line gets cut; I guess because they already moved to to earlier in the episode?

But they cut it sloppily so you can catch T.K.'s mouth closing from delivering the line he no longer has before Mimi turns and runs away. Mimi, meanwhile, starts talking before turning despite not having lip flaps, so the result makes it look briefly like her voice is coming out of T.K.'s mouth.

Mimi: Ugh! I've had it! Sora: Mimi! (Mimi runs and crouches by the tree) Mimi: (crying) I'm gonna sit here and stare at the flowers until everybody starts getting along! Sora: (approaching slowly, sarcastic) Oh, like that's going to help.

They (heavy sigh) make this moment into a laugh line about how ridiculous and overdramatic Mimi is, then have Sora go ridicule her for it. Thanks, I hate it.

While Pinocchimon watches the spectacle up in the sky, Hikari sneaks off to go talk to strangers.

Hikari: Are you guys our enemies? Or allies?

Koushiro - who, I guess, is just bored with the two separate horrible fights taking place - walks over to see what's up with Hikari. He chats with Tailmon.

Koushiro: Who is Hikari-san talking to? Tailmon: I don't know. Hikari: Okay, so you're not an enemy.

Suddenly, a bright rainbow light shines down - The light is faint, filtering through the trees, but it's not unlike the aurora that delivered the children's Digivices on that fateful day in camp. Hikari's body glows brightly, and she momentarily curls into herself as if in pain.

Tailmon: HIKARI!!!

Tailmon and Koushiro hurry to her side, but Hikari continues. She takes off her Crest of Light and holds it up to the rainbow glow.

In the dub, Kari confronts the light a little more aggressively.

Kari: I'm not afraid! Well, maybe a little. (gazes at it in awe) Ahhh... My name's Kari! Please tell me who you are. Do you want to be friends with us? Gatomon: What in the Digi-World is she doing? Izzy: She appears to be conversing with herself. Gatomon: (dismissive singsong) She's losing it~! Kari: You seem to be nice enough! (Kari begins glowing and curls into herself) Gatomon: KARI!!!

Izzy and Gatomon trade roles here, and Gatomon dismissively badmouths Kari which is certainly a choice. >.> Whoever wrote the dub script for this episode decided to make Gatomon surprisingly catty. Uh. You know, in the bad way.

Once Hikari presents her Crest, the glowing gets brighter. It expands, consuming Koushiro and Tailmon before continuing outward.

Tentomon: KOUSHIRO-HAN!!! Taichi: W-What the--

The light takes Tentomon. It takes Taichi and Yamato. It takes Sora, Mimi, Jou, and Takeru. It gives Pinocchimon a tumble because he is not invited. It revokes WarGreymon and MetalGarurumon's evolutions, reverting them to Koromon and Tsunomon before taking them too.

Everyone finds themselves in a great white void, while something begins to speak through Hikari's mouth. It uses Hikari's voice and if you're paying attention to the group shot you can see her lips move but it's super subtle.

Taichi: This is...? Yamato: What sort of place even is this? Not Hikari: Wherever there is light, there will also be darkness. Darkness and light are like the two sides of the same coin. However, if the power of darkness grows larger....

A great blackness suddenly grows and takes over their void. Not Hikari is, of course, talking about your typical "balance of yin and yang" sort of deal. The problem is not that darkness exists but that it has grown to overshadow the light.

In the dub:

Tentomon: IZZY!!! Tai: What's happening!? (Everyone gets taken by the light into the void except Puppetmon) Tai: Where are we!? Matt: No idea.... Not Hikari: In this world, there is a balance of darkness and light. The light represents all that's good in the world and the darkness is the evil. When the darkness becomes larger than the light, it upsets the balance.

Not Hikari here specifies that light means good and dark means evil. A specification that wasn't stated outright in the original... but looking at the behaviors of most Vaccine and Virus type Digimon we've met, it's pretty implied. The powers of darkness have been unambiguously super-evil child-murderers, and not in the morally complex Undertale way.

There is certainly a space for NOT ALL DEVIMONS as a narrative point, but that is not an argument that this show has presented.

The black void overtakes the white, and the kids are left in darkness.

Mimi: It's turned to night! Jou: What is this place!? Did we get pulled into another dimension!?

Valid concern. That has happened to them before.

Sora: Wait! I see something! Taichi: This is... Hikarigaoka!

Floating in the sky above the city, they see Greymon and Parrotmon drifting up into a portal back to the Digital World and making me eat crow from when I said Hikari's Greymon died. I have been remembering this wrong.

You win this round, dub team who hadn't even seen the OVA when they had to adapt the episodes describing it.

Koushiro: That's the bird from four years ago!

He types away at his laptop, pulling up the Digimon Analyzer to finally get a read on that creature that started this all.

Parrotmon is a Perfect-stage Vaccine-type Giant Bird Digimon. Part of the reason that their identity was such a mystery is because they were created for the OVA; Not appearing in the V-Pet, video games, or even TCG until 2000.

At the time of this episode's airing, Parrotmon had never been seen again in any other Digimon media, and wouldn't be until the release of the D-Terminal to tie in with Adventure 02.

Narrator: Parrotmon. A mysterious Digimon who appeared in front of Taichi's group long ago in Hikarigaoka. Their special attack is Sonic Destroyer. Koushiro: They were Perfect-stage....

In the dub, Tai swipes Mimi's line and he and Joe quip about the darkness overtaking the light.

Tai: Whoa! The balance seems to be really out of whack! Joe: So? Somebody find a switch and put the lights back on. Sora: There's something over there! (Hikarigaoka comes into view) Tai: I know this sounds incredible, but could we be home again? (Closeup on Greymon and Parrotmon disappearing into the sky portal) Izzy: I've seen that Digimon before! (type) Izzy: (rundown) Why, of course. That's Parrotmon. He was the mysterious Digimon that appeared in Highton View Terrace approximately four years ago. Now he's completely Digivolved.

Izzy remains terrible at exposition. "Now he's completely Digivolved," he says, as if the Parrotmon up there has achieved a higher form than when they fought Greymon.

Also, "completely Digivolved" raises an eyebrow. Uh. What? Either Izzy is using "completely Digivolved" to refer to Ultimate level even though he knows better now, or he's saying that Parrotmon has become a Mega Digimon.

There are two ways to take this line and they're both wrong, on top of Izzy being wrong for asserting that Parrotmon "being fully Digivolved" is a recent occurrence.

Not Hikari steps forward to offer further explanation.

Not Hikari: Four years ago in your world, a Digitama passed through a tear in reality by mistake. Taichi: What are you talking about, Hikari? Tailmon: That's not Hikari talking to us. Koushiro: Someone is using Hikari's body to speak to us. Not Hikari: My wish is to restore balance to the Digimon World. Sora: Are you the God of the Digimon World? Not Hikari: No, I am not. Just like the Digimon, I am made up of internet data. Unlike the Digimon, we are unable to take a physical form. In other words, I don't have a physical body. That is why I'm borrowing this person's body to speak with you. Taichi: Why Hikari? Not Hikari: She was the only one who could hear me.

There's an interesting switch that happens in Not Hikari's language here. Well, for one, it's interesting that Not Hikari uses the standard gender-neutral first-person pronoun watashi instead of the more girly atashi that Hikari uses.

But, more interesting than that, is the way Not Hikari switches between the singular watashi and the plural watashi-tachi. For most of this explanation, they use watashi. However, when they say "We are unable to take physical form", that's a watashi-tachi.

Implying that whatever the sparkle sparkle entity possessing Hikari is, they are of a kind; There are others like them.

In the dub:

Not Kari: He passed through the dimensional divide. Some time ago, a Digiegg fell through a hole from our world to yours. Tai: Kari, what are you talking about? Gatomon: I think Kari's had too much catnip! Izzy: My theory is that someone else is using Kari's body to speak for them. Not Kari: My wish is that there be peace and happiness for everyone. Sora: I don't understand. Are you some kind of super being or something? Not Kari: No, nothing like that. I am similar to the Digimon. I was produced by data bytes taken from the internet. But there's a difference: Unlike the Digimon, we're unable to take a shape in the form of a physical body. In order for me to communicate with you, I had to temporarily borrow Kari. Tai: Couldn't you have taken Joe instead!? Joe: Hey! Not Kari: I had to take Kari. She's the only one that I'm able to communicate with.

The word Kami crossed the dub team's desk and the best they could come up with to avoid saying God was "some kind of super being". XD

Gatomon is still being shitty and dismissive towards Kari and I hate it.

Tai abruptly slaps Joe in the face for lulz because he's one of the two designated punching bags.

On the plus side, they nailed that interesting pluralization implying that there are more of whatever this being is.

(Officially, this is Homeostasis, but the lore around Homeostasis is vague and confusing, and Homeostasis is never named within the show itself. At least not this series; other entries in the Adventure franchise do identify Homeostasis by name.)

Not Hikari continues to explain things.

Not Hikari: Truthfully, I've been wanting to talk to you ever since you arrived on File Island.

Too fucking bad we accidentally left behind the only kid who could hear them.

That makes two separate attempts to prevent the Lord of the Flies experience from happening to them and give them a more traditional Isekai experience, ruined by present circumstances of their arrival.

Imagine spending like a thousand years preparing for the arrival of the chosen one and then going to take a shit and when you come back the Chosen One is not only here but has gone Feral BOTW Link for lack of guidance.

The children suddenly levitate into the air. Not Hikari levitates slowly over Hikarigaoka with the other kids in tow, as bright spotlights shine down on each of their younger counterparts frozen in time.

Taichi: Ah! That's Hikari and me from four years ago! Jou: Ah! The one on the phone is me! Mimi: That's me! Sora: And there's me! Takeru: There's me with Onii-chan! Koushiro: I'm there too. But these lights.... Not Hikari: They're scanning everyone's data. Yamato: But what for? Not Hikari: Allow me to explain everything from the beginning.

Greymon and Parrotmon disappear into the sky portal. Not Hikari follows them in, with the children levitating up after.

In the dub:

Not Kari: To be honest, I wanted to contact you when you arrived at File Island, but it was completely impossible under the circumstances. (Not Kari levitates everyone over Highton View Terrace) Tai: Wow, it's a blast from the past! That's us four years ago! Joe: Hey, that's me! How typical; I'm on the telephone. Mimi: I was so cute! Sora: Hard to believe we were that little! T.K.: There's my brother and me! Izzy: That's definitely me, but what's with the light? Not Kari: Its purpose is to process all of your vital information. Matt: That's kind of freaky; Why's it doing that? Not Kari: Just follow me; I'll explain it to you.

Solid dub writing. They do a good job spicing up the bit where everyone says "That's me!" over and over. I also appreciate Matt pointing out that Not Kari quietly stealing their metadata while they're watching the fight is fucking skeevy.

Digimon Adventure was ahead of its time. If this was made today, Homeostasis would definitely be selling that shit to advertisers.

Speaking of which, both versions put a commercial break here. Talk about your commercial break cliffhangers! "Yes, I will finally, after 44 episodes, explain crucial details of the plot to you... RIGHT AFTER THESE MESSAGES!!!" Well played, Homeostasis. Well played.

Once Homeostasis has finished pocketing that lucrative McDonalds ad revenue, we find ourselves in a strange yet familiar locale.

Sora: Where... are we? Koushiro: Does this place look familiar to you?

The kids start to look around, but then Takeru spots something.

Takeru: What's that over there?

Shortly followed by the others, Takeru runs over to a glass case containing eight Digitama.

Takeru: They're Digitama! Group: (awestruck) Ahhhh! Koromon: The Digivices and Crests are here too!

Sure enough, each Digitama has a Digivice and a Crest mysteriously plugged into it.

In the dub:

Sora: Where are we now, whoever you are? Izzy: Rather bizarre place, indeed. (The kids look around) T.K.: Check this out! (Everyone goes to the Digiegg case) T.K.: They look like Digieggs! Group: (awestruck) Ahhhh! Koromon: Look! Crests and Digivices! Matt: (annoyed) Okay, this is getting weird! Joe: Oh, and floating in the sky is normal?

Koushiro immediately cottons on to the fact that they've been here before (which they have!). Izzy misses that entirely and just thinks the place is weird.

Matt and Joe get extra lines where, in a rare upset, Joe gets to dunk on someone else for a change.

Suddenly, phantoms of humanoids in cloaks pass by. Jou is the first to see them. He panics, raising his arms with alarm and accidentally shoving Mimi into the glass, eliciting a surprised shriek.

Jou: WAAAAAAUGH!!! Mimi: AGGGGH!!! Jou: W-WE'RE SORRY FOR INTRUDING!!!

The cloaked figures pass by, ignoring them entirely

Gomamon: Hey, what the hell!? You could at least address us! Not Hikari: These people are a video recording. These are images of the past that are being projected into your minds.

Gomamon gets offended that we're not being yelled at for trespassing. XD

In the dub, Mimi doesn't react. She silently accepts being scooted aside by Joe's panic.

Joe: WAAAAAAUGH!!! Okay, it's official; This is definitely giving me the creeps. (The cloaked figures ignore them) Gomamon: What's the matter, fellas? Can't you say hello? Not Kari: These men are just computer images. They are figments from the past who have been digitally transmitted to your present.

Once Not Kari's set the stage for what we're seeing, Koushiro suddenly notices a significant clue as to where we are.

Koushiro: Ah! This is the stone slate that was beneath Vamdemon's castle. Piyomon: The Gate is here too! It's the same room!

The kids hurry over to gaze up at the Gate; Sure enough, it's the very same one they passed through to return to the human world.

Which, of course, explains why Gennai was not only familiar with the Gate but had the keycards to open it in his possession, rather than in Vamdemon's. At some point, like an otaku running away to live in Japan, Vamdemon decided to go straight to the source of his fandom and moved in.

Jou: But what are those people doing? Not Hikari: They're preparing for the time when our world will be overrun by darkness. First, we created the Crests and Digivices out of the data we scanned from you. Sora: "Created"? Taichi: Then that means... You guys are the ones who chose us? Not Hikari: That's right.

Finally getting some real answers, and none of Gennai's runarounds.

In the dub:

Izzy: I don't believe it! This is from Myotismon's castle! Biyomon: Here's Myotismon's secret passage! Joe: Let me guess, those are the elves that make the shoes at night? Not Kari: They're monitoring the positive and negative forces to preserve harmony in the world. We took the information that we scanned from all of you, then we created your Digivices and Crests. Sora: You did that? Tai: That must mean that you're the ones who chose us. Is that true? Not Kari: Yes, it is.

The dub's explanation for what the hooded figures are doing doesn't quite capture the urgency of their work.

In the original, Not Hikari indicates that they knew the balance was destabilizing, and they were doing all of this for the purpose of countering it. They saw things getting bad, and bringing in the humans' data and going through this whole rigamarole was their best idea for how to fix it.

The dub has the cloaked figures simply monitoring harmony as a day-to-day, and also they're making the Crests and Digivices too. Just in case things do get bad, I guess.

Taichi has some follow-up questions regarding their selection.

Taichi: But why were we chosen? Not Hikari: You and Hikari-san made the Digitama that passed into the real world evolve into Greymon. Taichi: That was katteni shinka. Not Hikari: There is no such thing as katteni shinka.

Okay, this is a hard one to translate to English.

If you caught my post about Dragon Ball's Ultra Instinct I mentioned the word migatte as part of the technique's Japanese name. Katte is a root word of migatte, and katteni is similar in meaning. Katteni is autonomous; doing something of one's own accord, without permission or influence from others.

Taichi is saying that Koromon evolving to Agumon and then to Greymon happened arbitrarily; The Digimon evolved all by himself, while Taichi and Hikari were merely passive bystanders. Nothing that happened between them influenced Koromon's evolution in any way.

Homeostasis retorts that. No. That's stupid. Katteni shinka is not a thing. What Taichi is saying is not how evolution works. At all. Either for Digimon or otherwise.

Not Hikari: That evolution did not happen by chance. It was because of your presence that he evolved into Greymon. (Flashback to Greymon v. Parrotmon) Taichi: But... We didn't do anything! We didn't even have a Digivice! Not Hikari: If you think the Digivice is merely a tool for evolution, you are mistaken. (Back to present) Not Hikari: The Digivice matches your personal qualities to your Digimon and enables them to evolve properly.

The dub is going to have a hard time with this section, since katteni shinka is difficult to translate and they have limited space to explain it in.

Tai: Then tell me this: What makes us so special? Not Kari: You made it possible for Greymon to survive and Digivolve, and it couldn't have been accomplished without help from you and Kari. Tai: But he Digivolved without me.... Not Kari: A Digimon can't Digivolve without you. It doesn't work that way.

That is a hard miss. Digimon absolutely can evolve without a person. If they couldn't, the Digital World would be nothing but Babies for miles around.

What they can't do is evolve arbitrarily, without influence from environmental factors. The point of this line isn't that humans are necessary to make evolution possible. It's that Homeostasis witnessed the effect that Taichi and Hikari's influence had on the wayward Digitama and had a Holy Shit Light Bulb moment.

They caused Botamon to evolve into Koromon, Agumon, and then Greymon. But not because evolution wouldn't be possible without them.

Not Kari: The very fact that you were both there made him Digivolve to protect you. Tai: But how? We were just goofy little kids and we didn't even have a Digivice. Not Kari: A Digivice is just a tool that was designed to help in the Digivolving process. It assists you by making you aware of your powers, but it's the special qualities in each of you that really makes it work.

This part is rock-solid. No notes. It's just the other part that had a high bar to clear that they messed up on.

Next, Homeostasis goes on to talk about the Crests.

Not Hikari: The same is true of your Crests. Is everyone aware of what their Crests represent? Taichi: Mine's Courage. Sora: Mine is Love. Mimi: Purity! Koushiro: Knowledge. Jou: Sincerity. Takeru: Mine is the Crest of Hope. Yamato: (quiet, distant) Mine is.... Jou: Friendship, wasn't it?

Jou gives Yamato a friendly pat on the shoulder, but that only makes Yamato withdraw into himself.

Not Hikari: Those are the strongest qualities that each of you had four years ago. But what happens if you lose those qualities? You may end up misusing your Digimon. And if you use those special qualities of yours for the wrong reasons.... Taichi: (gasp) Could it be.... (Flashback to SkullGreymon's evolution) Taichi: Back then, I jumped in front of the enemy so that I could force Greymon to Super-Evolve. But he became SkullGreymon instead. (Flashback ends) Taichi: (with certainty) That was the wrong kind of Courage. Not Hikari: That's right. You've finally realized.

Wait, he only figured out what he did wrong just now?

Well, no, that makes sense, actually. He knew he'd fucked up back then, but they didn't learn the meanings of their Crests until much later. He hasn't had a reason to stop and think about how the virtue of Courage applies to the SkullGreymon incident.

Sometimes you have all the information you need to put the pieces together but it's already behind you and there's more important stuff to think about.

In the dub:

Not Kari: The same thing with the Crests. Can you tell me what your personal Crests really represent? Tai: Well, mine's Courage. Sora: And this one means Love. Mimi: Sincerity! Izzy: Mine's Knowledge! Joe: Reliability. T.K.: I know what this Crest means; It's Hope! Matt: (quiet, distant) Well, mine is.... Joe: Wasn't it called Friendship? (pat) Not Kari: All of that's true, but there's more to it than that. Every one of you has strengths and weaknesses. We took each of your strongest qualities that you possessed four years ago, then we made a Crest for that. Tentomon: Oh! I get it! Not Kari: If that trait is lost, then Digimon might become corrupted. Tai: Ah! That happened! (Flashback to SkullGreymon's evolution) Tai: When I tried to make Agumon Digivolve by throwing myself in front of his enemy! But then something weird happened; He Digivolved into SkullGreymon! (Flashback ends) Tai: (with certainty) And now I realize that was pretty foolish. Not Kari: But the important thing is that you learned from it.

Yep, that's another miss.

Dub Homeostasis claims that SkullGreymon happened because Tai lost his Courage. That's. Not. What happened there. Tai losing his Courage is what happened at Datamon's pyramid. Completely different event, and one that did not result in SkullGreymon.

SkullGreymon was the result of Taichi's Courage becoming corrupt.

Meanwhile, Tai's big revelation here is that jumping in front of the enemy was a stupid thing to do. That's. No. That's not his revelation; He already realized it was stupid way back when. It's the connection between that event and the virtue of Courage being corrupted that Taichi suddenly made here.

Jou steps forward to assess what they've learned.

Jou: So all of this work was to amplify the qualities we already had in the first place.

Yamato, still haunted by his inability to connect with his Crest virtue, wanders away to look at his Digitama, Crest, and Digivice in the case.

Tsunomon: Yamato...?

Not Hikari joins him, followed soon by the others.

Koushiro: I understand why Taichi-san and Hikari-san were chosen, but the rest of us didn't make a Digimon evolve. Not Hikari: After examining everyone's data, we determined that you shared commonalities with Taichi-san and Hikari-san. The meaning behind it is still a mystery to us.

I take it back; Even Homeostasis seems to struggle with comprehending the plot. This answer is basically a shrug. "What made us choose the rest of you? There was something about your data. I don't know what."

In the dub:

Joe: All this time, we've been wracking our brains trying to figure out stuff about ourselves that we already knew! Ha! That's a fine how-do-ya-do. (Matt walks away) Joe: Huh? (Matt stares at the glass case.) Tsunomon: Who knew? (Everyone joins him.) Izzy: Prodigious! I see why you chose Tai and Kari, but the rest of us never made contact with the Digiegg so why us? Not Kari: When we examined all of your data, we came to the conclusion that you had something in common with Tai and Kari. But we're not quite sure what it means. All we know is that you've proven yourselves to be very capable.

Joe managed to mangle his line so hard that I have no idea what he's even saying.

But the exposition is pretty much 1:1.

Takeru steps forward to examine the Digitama in the case.

Takeru: What are these Digitama? Not Hikari: You can't tell? Patamon: Is it us? Not Hikari: Yes. Palmon: Which one is me? Tsunomon: We can tell by looking at the marks on the Crests! (Piyomon and Gomamon find theirs) Piyomon: That one? Gomamon: This one's mine!

Piyomon's Digitama is covered in hearts because of course it is.

In the dub:

T.K.: Who do these belong to? Not Kari: Isn't it obvious? Patamon: I have a feeling it's us! Not Kari: Yes. Palmon: Wow, which one's me? Tsunomon: I think the answer's in the Crests! (Biyomon and Gomamon find theirs) Biyomon: Look! This is me! Gomamon: And that's mine!

Very faithful translation; Near word for word.

Unfortunately, things did not go well for the Chosen Children project.

Not Hikari: However, the Dark Masters learned about our plan and they came here to find us.

The doors open and Metal Empire forces spill into the room. Despite having been told that these are phantoms of past events and are not really happening, the kids still panic and scatter. Takeru trips and falls, prompting Patamon to let off an Air Shot at the Metal Empire soldiers to try and cover him.

Not Hikari: These are also video recordings.

The way Homeostasis has to say that again in their completely neutral matter-of-fact voice 'cause children be slow is sending me. XD Maybe you should have drafted some adults for your war.

The Metal Empire forces open fire on the hooded figures, blowing them up with rockets.

Taichi: Shit! So because they're video recordings, we can't do anything but stand here and watch!?

Taichi's blood is expectedly boiling at all this carnage. Koushiro, on the other hand, already has his laptop out because NEW DIGIMON JUST DROPPED. He starts with the brown one.

Guardromon is an Adult-stage Virus-type Machine Digimon, though the Analyzer makes an error and lists them as Data. This may have to do with the fact that they debuted in the Digimon World video game, where they were in fact Data Vaccine actually what the fuck.

I guess the anime just. Split the difference between Digimon World Vaccine and Metal Empire V-Pet Virus. XD

In any case, Guardromon is one of the two Metal Empire Adult Viruses.

Izzy: That one is Guardromon. Narrator: Guardromon. A Machine type Digimon with iron-clad defenses. Their special attack is Destruction Grenade.

Also it's super easy to miss when they're in motion but can I just say that the Destruction Grenades are hilarious? XD Someone was like "This is my Vaccine Digimon, he shoots little cops that explode," and another person went, "Nah bro that goes into the Virus bin."

The silver Digimon, meanwhile, is Mekanorimon. Like Bakemon and bakemono, this is a play on an existing word: norimono, which means "vehicle". Mecha Norimono.

Mekanorimon is the other Adult-stage Virus-type Digimon from Metal Empire, and this one the Analyzer gets right. If your poorly cared for Hagurumon is well-trained, you get Guardromon; If not, Mekanorimon.

Yamato: Here comes another one! Narrator: Mekanorimon. A powered suit Digimon that can be piloted like a vehicle. It uses its Linear Lens to fire its special attack Twinkle Beam.

Under the assault of explosion cops and Twinkle Beams, the cloaked figures are quickly overwhelmed.

In the dub:

Not Kari: Yes, but I'm afraid I have bad news. The Dark Masters got wind of our plan and have worked very hard to defeat us. (Metal Empire forces enter; Kids scatter and flee) Not Kari: Save your breath; They're computer images! (Metal Empire starts killing everyone) Tai: What!? Just because those guys are computer images, we have to sit back and do nothing!? Izzy: (on the brown one) His name is Guardromon. Izzy: (rundown) He's a Machine Digimon and his armor is constructed of solid iron. Absolutely nothing can penetrate that can of beans! Matt: HERE COMES SOME MORE OF THEM!!! Tentomon: (rundown) This is no space-age vacuum cleaner! Meet Mekanorimon. His Twin Beam will annihilate anything! Which makes housework a breeze.

Homeostasis's second line here is delivered as a scolding, rather than a comically matter-of-fact reassertion of information already provided. So it lacks the funny.

Guardromon's diegetic rundown claims that he's invulnerable... because he's made of iron. I mean, iron's great, don't get me wrong, but it's kind of basic? Especially this soon after the fantasy metal "INVULNERABLE CHROME DIGIZOID" was such a big thing.

The reason this happened is because the word in question, 鉄壁 teppeki, has multiple meanings. It literally translates to "iron wall", as in a literal iron wall used in a military fortification, and it means an impenetrable defense.

So they had word which could be saying Guardromon is made of iron or could be saying Guardromon's defenses are impenetrable, and they hedged their bets and went with both.

Meanwhile, Tentomon is too busy quipping to mention that Mekanorimon is a pilotable vehicle. Which. Is. Kind of. Important. Information. For events that will follow.

Also Mekanorimon's attack is "Twin Beam" despite there only being a single beam because I guess the dub team didn't like the twinkle.

While all this devastation is unfolding, Jou suddenly lets out a shriek.

Jou: AHH!!! IT'S PIEMON!!! Stay back! Stay back! Ahhhh go away! Gomamon: We're okay. Sora: It's just a video recording.

Piemon approaches the case with the Digitama. Letting out a wicked laugh, he shatters the case and collects all of the Crests.

Taichi: He's stealing the Crests! Mimi: Can't we do something!?

Suddenly, one of the cloaked figures charges at him with a sword.

Cloaked Man: PIEMON!!! THOSE AREN'T YOURS TO TAKE!!! Piemon: Gennai.... Takeru: THAT'S GENNAI-SAN!?!?

Gennai slashes at Piemon, but he's too slow. Piemon easily darts around Gennai's swing, then presses a strange black orb into Gennai's back. Gennai grits his teeth and grunts in agony as the ball enters his body.

He takes another swing at Piemon, who backs off. A Mekanorimon comes up behind him; Gennai dodges its Twinkle Beam and leaps up on top. Prying open Mekanorimon's cockpit, he yanks a Bakemon out of it and tosses the useless ghost aside.

Gennai: Out of the way!

Gennai slips inside the Mekanorimon himself, then scoops up all of the Digitama and Digivices.

Piemon: DON'T LET HIM GET AWAY WITH THE CRESTS!!!

...apparently he also has the Crests. To be honest, I'm not sure how he would have grabbed those. They were last seen in Piemon's hand, and Piemon thoroughly outfought Gennai.

In the dub:

Joe: AHHHH!!! PIEDMON IS HERE!!! DON'T COME ANY CLOSER!!! SHOO!!! GO AWAY!!! Gomamon: Relax, he's just an image. Sora: (snarky) Yeah, save your screaming for the real thing. (Piedmon goes for the Crests) Tai: He's going to steal the Crests! Mimi: Oh no! (Piedmon takes the Crests) Cloaked Man: Piedmon! Hands off those Crests! Piedmon: Gennai! T.K.: That man's Gennai!? (Gennai attacks, gets black balled, then hijacks Mekanorimon and escapes with the loot) Piedmon: Follow him! Don't let Gennai out of your sight!

Sora dunks on Joe but to be fair, they've been told twice now. This was legitimately an embarrassing moment for him, even if Original Sora was too kind to say anything.

Gennai takes to the skies with the Digitama, Digivices, and I guess the Crests somehow. The other Mekanorimon and Guardromon pursue him, trying to shoot him down.

Not Hikari: Let's follow them.

A near-miss causes him to lose a single Digitama and Digivice, which plummet to the continent below.

Tailmon: Ah! That's me! (Tailmon's Digitama falls, and is not recovered) Tailmon: So that's why I grew up alone.

Piyomon flies up behind Tailmon and gives her unexpected headpats.

Piyomon: But we're together now! Tailmon: (smile) You're right.

Awww.... ^_^

In the dub:

Not Kari: Let's follow and see what happened in the past. (Enemy rockets cause Gennai to drop the Digiegg) Gatomon: That's my Digiegg! (Gatomon's Digiegg falls, and is not recovered) Gatomon: So that's why I was brought up all alone... That explains it.... (Surprise headpats) Biyomon: Cheer up! We're together now! Gatomon: (smiles, giggles)

Pretty much 1:1 faithful translation.

From there, Gennai escapes to File Island.

Taichi: it's File Island! Not Hikari: After that, many, many years passed until....

Which... is a 100% barren, frozen hellscape. Must be winter, I guess, 'cause it's sunny and grassy by the time the Partner Digitama hatch.

We see Botamon's egg hatch first.

Koromon: I hatched!

From there, the Babies go outside with their Digivices and bounce them playfully.

Koromon: I remember! We were waiting all that time. For Taichi! Tsunomon: Yamato! Piyomon: Sora! Gomamon: Jou! Palmon: Mimi! Patamon: Takeru! Tentomon: Koushiro-han! Koromon: Day after day, we'd wait patiently for their arrival! Until one day....

The babies bounce the Digivices high into the air, but instead it's the children who come plummeting down.

This is probably not literal, but a metaphorical representation of what they were doing. We cut from that to literal flashbacks of the Partners meeting the children in the woods, way back in episode 1.

In the dub:

Tai: It's File Island! Not Kari: After Gennai rescued the Digieggs and Crests, many years passed by until finally.... (Botamon hatches) Koromon: I was born! (The Babies go outside and bounce their Digivices) Koromon: Oh wow, I remember that! It seemed like I waited forever for Tai! Tsunomon: For Matt! Biyomon: For Sora! Gomamon: For Joe! Palmon: For Mimi! Patamon: For T.K.! Tentomon: For Izzy! Koromon: We didn't think they would ever come! Then suddenly, out of the blue, they arrived with a bang!

Again, 1:1 faithful. Though most of this is just yelling character names.

With that, we're caught up to where the children began their involuntary excursion into the Digital World.

Taichi: So that's what happened. Not Hikari: What is the Dark Masters' ultimate goal? How do we save the world? All we can do now is look after the peace of the Digimon World and try to build a system that can repair the damage before it takes place. Taichi: What do you think we should do from here? Not Hikari: I don't know. But I believe that, by relying on yourselves, you will find the answer.

Helpful. Thanks for the history lesson; Wish you had more practical advice for us.

In several years' human time when we're arguing over how to handle Meicoomon, try to remember how you were like "Uhhhh I have no idea how to solve things YOU GOT THIS RIGHT?"

Homeostasis gives off mad "It's my first day but also everyone else quit so please be patient while I figure out how to job" energy. They know the backstory better because they were there for it but they are as helplessly drowning in uncertain waters as the kids themselves.

The Forces of Darkness are rising. They don't know why the Forces of Darkness are rising. They don't know how to make the Forces of Darkness stop rising. And one day they saw two toddlers get along well with a Digimon and went "UM UM UM UM MAYBE CHILD SOLDIERS!?!?!?"

The reactor is melting down and the only person we have on-site is an intern. Well, that and exactly one survivor from the massacre who unfortunately has an unidentified Milk Dud of Doom turning him into a decrepit pervert or whatever it did to thim.

In the dub:

Not Kari: The question is, what exactly are the Dark Masters planning? We are working day and night trying to find out. For now, all we can do is guess and try to outwit them before something terrible happens. Tai: Whoa! Well, if that's true, what should we do now? Not Kari: It's hard to say, but I believe you'll all find an answer on your own.

The dub omits mention of Homeostasis's long-term goal to "build a system that can repair the damage before it takes place". Though they don't go into detail, they apparently have ideas in place to prevent something like the Dark Masters from happening again... if we can figure out how to make the Dark Masters stop happening in the the meanwhile.

Homeostasis is trying to create a vaccine against future instability, while using the Chosen Children as panic-button antidote against current instability.

(This, of course, ends up being Huckmon in Adventure Tri.)

But this doesn't make it across into the dub, which simply says that Homeostasis doesn't know what the Dark Masters are up to but is trying their best.

Returning to the woods where they started, Hikari wakes up in Taichi's arms.

Taichi: Hikari...? Tailmon: Are you okay, Hikari? HIkari: Onii-chan... Tailmon.... Taichi: You're okay! Tailmon: Thank goodness.... Sora: Are you hurting anywhere? Hikari: No... Is something wrong, all of you? Taichi: I-It's nothing. Hikari, about what just happened... Hikari: What just happened? Taichi: Oh! If you don't remember, then never mind.

Smooth, Taichi. Rolling that 12 Charisma score for all it's worth. XD

The dub places its final commercial break here, at the end of Homeostasis's trip into the past. Solid choice.

Tai: Hey.... Gatomon: Are you gonna be alright? Kari: ...oh, hi there. What's wrong? Tai: You've come back! Gatomon: We missed you! Sora: Did it hurt? Kari: No... What do you mean? Tai: Don't you remember? Well, that's alright. Kari: Remember what, Tai? Tai: Never mind. Don't you worry about it.

I like how casual Kari is here. Like, so far as she understands, she just fell asleep suddenly and then woke up to everyone crowding around her for some reason.

Now, on to unfinished business. Taichi stands up and turns to face Yamato.

Taichi: Yamato. Now we know why we became the Chosen Children. Yamato: Yeah. Taichi: Like I thought, we're the only ones who can straighten out this world's distortions.

Taichi approaches Yamato, holding out his hand for Yamato's.

Taichi: Yamato. Let's join back up together. Yamato: I can't. Takeru: Onii-chan? Taichi: I... I made a mistake. Yamato: No. This was all my fault.

Yamato turns and walks away, but Taichi calls after him.

Taichi: That's not what I meant! I mean the way I've been behaving up to this point.... (Yamato stops walking) Yamato: It's not my place to say this after how I've behaved recently, but I don't think there's ever a right or wrong way to do things. It's simply that you have your path and I have mine. I have no idea what sort of path is waiting for me. I thought that if I fought you, I'd understand what it is. An apology may not be enough for you to forgive me, but... I'm sorry.

Taichi and Yamato both recognize their faults and how they've contributed to their recent drama, and offer verbal concessions.

In the dub:

Tai: Well, Matt? There's no doubt about how we became the DigiDestined. We saw it happen! Matt: We sure did. Tai: So now the entire world is depending on us! And we all have to save it together! (Tai steps forward to shake Matt's hand) Tai: How 'bout it, Matt? Are we still a team? Matt: ... T.K.: What's wrong? Tai: Hey, let's put the past behind us. Matt: I know, but you wouldn't understand. Tai: Sure, I would! I say that you and I should let bygones be bygones! Matt: That's not the problem, Tai. This thing is bigger than either of us. It's not about right or wrong; I have my path and you have yours! And I'm not even sure where this path is going to lead me but I know I have to find it for myself. But I still believe in all of us; I mean, without any of you, where would I be? This is all just so confusing, and I let it get to me. That's why we fought.

Tai offers no concession for his own involvement in this whole mess.

Matt's supporting arguments are on much shakier ground than Yamato's. "This is bigger than us" and "I still believes in all of us" are arguments for staying with the group when he's supposed to be explaining why he has to leave.

Yamato says that they fought because he was convinced he would better understand himself and find his way to self-improvement through the act of fighting Taichi. Which is precisely what his conversation with Jureimon claimed.

Matt says they fought because he was confused about how much he wants to both leave and stay at the same time. It's a confusing response.

Now, with conviction, Yamato turns to face the others once more.

Yamato: But I want to find my own path. No, I have to! That's why I've decided to leave you all and go alone from here. Just me and Tsunomon. Koushiro: Please reconsider. After all, Yamato-san, your Crest... I mean, your best quality is.... Yamato: Friendship. I know. But friendship is such a meaningless word, don't you think? No, maybe I just don't know what true friendship is. Sora: H-Hey, how about this? We can break into two groups and go from there. Yamato: Sorry, but I need to do this alone. Sora: Oh... Well, I'm sure you'll be okay, Yamato. I believe in you. Takeru: Onii-chan, what will I do without you? Yamato: You're able to take care of yourself now. Takeru: But.... Sora: You're with us, Takeru-kun. Yamato has something he needs to figure out by himself. We should let him go. Takeru: (nod) Mm. Yamato: Thank you. Bye.

With that surprisingly curt farewell, Yamato turns and walks away into the woods. Metaphorically still lost in the mayoi no mori but better equipped to some day find his way out.

I love the reversal here from "I don't need you to look after me Onii-chan" to "But who will look after me Onii-chan?" Where Yamato has been haunted since episode 3 by the threat of Takeru growing up, the perspective of his decision allows him to finally appreciate how strong his brother is becoming.

Sora, ever the peacemaker, tries to smooth this over as best she can.

In the dub:

Matt: It's important that you guys can count on me, but I'm going to do this because I have to! Tsunomon will be with me so I'll be alright. Don't worry, it will be a lot better this way. Izzy: Matt, if you approach this logically, I'm sure you'll reconsider your decision. Your Crest, it's theme is to promote.... Matt: Friendship, I know. But I haven't been too much of a friend, in case you haven't noticed! Maybe it's because I don't know the true meaning of the word, or maybe I've just forgotten. Sora: Here's a good idea. Let's break up into two groups instead of one big one. Matt: I'm sorry, but I really need to do this alone! Sora: Oh... Well, I believe in you and I'm not going to stand in your way! T.K.: What am I supposed to do without you, Matt? Matt: You're a big kid now. You can take care of yourself, T.K. Sora: Yeah, don't worry! We'll be here for you. Besides, you know how big brothers are; They need their own space! Everything will be fine. T.K.: (nod) Mm. Matt: We'll see ya. Goodbye, everyone.

Matt comes off a lot more reluctant to do this. Between "I still believe in all of us", "Where would I be without you?" and now "It's important that you can count on me", he is not doing a good job of selling the reason for why he needs to leave. Which is that he, Matt, is convinced that he needs to, and no other reason.

Dub Sora patronizingly downplays this whole thing to T.K. "Big brothers need their space", she says as if we're discussing Tai no longer sleeping in the bunk bed with Kari.

Original Sora plays this straight with Takeru; Yamato has something he needs to go do, and we should support him.

Once Yamato's gone, it's time to get moving again. Except Yamato's departure is giving someone else ideas.

Taichi: Well, we should get moving. Ganbatte! Let's fix those distortions in the Digital World!

To get the nakama marching, Taichi gives everyone the good ol' ganbaru, the Japanese social construct of perseverance through great hardships via hard work and dedication.

But one person isn't interested in ganbaru anymore. Mimi hangs back, following slowly before she stops walking entirely. Realizing she isn't with them, Sora turns back, prompting the rest of the group to halt.

Sora: Mimi-chan? Mimi: I'm sorry, Sora-san. I can't. Sora: You can't? You want to stay here? Mimi: Mhm. Others may get hurt and die. I don't want to see that again.

Mimi's voice is quiet and vulnerable. She knows she's letting the others down with this decision, but she can't do this anymore.

Without missing a beat, Senpai steps up to do his job.

Jou: Then I'll stay too. Koushiro: Jou-san! Jou: It's dangerous for Mimi-chan to be here by herself. I'll do what I can to convince her to return, then we'll meet up with the rest of you. Is that okay? Taichi: Yeah. We're counting on you, Jou. Jou: YES!!!

Jou is so excited that Taichi signed off on his plan, he shouts and runs for where Mimi is.

Gomamon: JOU WAIT FOR ME!!! (chases)

Eager to get the fuck out of this party, are we, Jou? XD

The dub, as usual, can't lean on ganbaru. But they've got something just as good for American cultural values: military lingo, which this arc's been leaning in heavily on.

Tai: We'd better move it, troops. We've got the world to save! So we're down one DigiDestined; That's no problem. We can do it, right? (Mimi hangs back) Sora: Hmm? Mimi? Mimi: I'm sorry, Sora. I'm not going. Sora: Huh? Why not? Come on, what? Mimi: Well, I just don't want to see anybody else fight or hurt themselves. I hope you understand. Joe: Then I'm staying too. Izzy: But why? Joe: It's not safe for Mimi to be here all alone. I'll make sure she's okay and then, hopefully later, we can rejoin you guys. Okay? Tai: Okay. Good luck, Joe. Joe: Thanks. (runs off) Gomamon: Wait for me! (chases)

Despite having far more reasons to be excited about leaving these fuckers behind, Dub Joe does not scream exuberance at the top of his lungs as he quits the party.

To avoid the 'D' word, Mimi's "I don't want to see anyone get hurt or killed again" becomes "I don't want to see anyone fight or hurt themselves". She can't even say she's afraid of them being hurt by others?

As the group further fractures, Patamon shares his concerns.

Patamon: Everyone is separating again. Piyomon: And just when all eight of us were finally together. Tailmon: You guys don't get it, do you? Piyomon: Huh? Tailmon: The roads we take are different, but our destination will be the same. We'll all get there, no matter how thorny our paths may be.

Tailmon's final words lead us out. With one last glance at Jou and Mimi staying behind, the remaining five soldiers in our nakama stride onward.

Man, escaping from her abuser and reuniting with the crew she was meant to be with has done wonders for Tailmon's outlook. Amazing how that works.

This line has so much pathos coming from her. In the woods that Vamdemon found her in, no less.

In the dub:

Patamon: Gee, now we're all gonna be split up again! Biyomon: Just when we were finally all together! Gatomon: You may think we're separated but we're really not. Biyomon: Huh!? Gatomon: The roads might be different but the place we end up in is the same. I mean, think about it. If they truly are the DigiDestined, they're destined to be together once again. At least, that's the way I hope it works out. Narrator: Is Gatomon right? Or is this the end of the DigiDestined!? Tune in to the next Digimon: Digital Monsters.

Fucking-ass killjoy narrator! XD I like how he asks that question then just says "Tune in" without promising any answers, because the Breaking of the Fellowship is not something that will be resolved any time soon.

Also love how Tailmon drops some hopeful philosophy while Gatomon's just like, "Look, it says 'destiny' right there in the name... that we made up for the dub." But then admits that she, like Tailmon, is just running on hope at this point.

There is no sound reason in either version to believe that Yamato, Mimi, and Jou will come back, but a kitty-cat can hope.

Assessment: Man, I hope you did not come into WarGreymon vs MetalGarurumon hoping for a Versus bout because that is the least important thing that happens in this episode.

The titular fight provides a backdrop for the much more interesting fistfight between Taichi and Yamato, giving them both plentiful opportunities to project what's going on with each of them.

This was a great episode for Taichi. Not just for the characterization he got to express verbally, but also for the choices he made in the end. Remember that when this started, he was yelling in Mimi's face and freaking out about Yamato wandering off because "The eight of us must be together to defeat the Dark Masters!"

By the end of this episode, after having it out with Yamato and talking with Homeostasis, Taichi owns up to his own problem behavior just as Yamato does. Then he stands back and lets three people leave. In fact, when Mimi says she wants out because she can't stand to see anyone else die, he doesn't say a word to her. He accepts her decision without question.

I think it was the SkullGreymon thing that did it, personally. Learning that there's a wrong kind of Courage made Taichi reflect on his behavior and gain a sense of perspective towards how he treats his crew and what he expects from them. That's my interpretation.

Whatever the case, Taichi demonstrates remarkable growth not just for what he said to Yamato but for what he didn't say to any of them.

Yamato, of course, still has a long ways to go. Which he knows, and is the reason that he left.

And this officially kicks off the Jou and Mimi side-quest. Which was the last part of the show that I've been super anticipating.

The dub, expectedly, struggled with this one. They have a hard time with lore-heavy episodes and half of this episode was just Homeostasis explaining the plot. There's a lot of good information there that builds out the backstory of how they got here (and one irritating shrug), but it is a lot of narrative exposition, which is the dub's biggest weak point.

Still, they did better than expected. They had their missteps here and there but there were also multiple expository scenes that came through solid. Like Taichi, the dub showed improvement.

[bysaber]

Neighbor rivalry ft. Satoru Gojo

Day 03 of 31 Days of Ficmas!

summary — you and your neighbor keep bickering about who has the most beautiful christmas-decorated house in the street.

word count — 1.3k

content — enemies to lovers, fluff, lots of swearing, gojo is a menace and implied to be a tsundere, they’re just silly kids (not literally)

notes — third day! I actually wanted to keep all those fics under 1k words but I got carried away and almost kept writing, I swear it would end up with 3k words and a smut if I wasn’t able to contain myself. I hope you enjoy this one <3

You didn’t want to admit how glamorous Satoru Gojo’s house looked, but it did.

Your obnoxious neighbor had made it his life mission to spend the entire year annoying the shit out of you by bragging how he won the “Best Outdoor Christmas Decorations Award” – which was a friendly competition between neighbors, but ignited a childish rivalry between the two of you.

Whenever you gathered together for parties or barbecues, it would always end in debates about a) how immature he was, and b) how he won. Your endless bickering amused everyone, though.

And it made you even more determined to win this year.

You grimaced at his house, groaning to yourself before focusing on your task: fixing the Christmas lights that were suspended from your roof. It was already hard to keep yourself steady on that ladder, but doing that while thinking about Gojo was on another level of torture.

“You shouldn’t try so hard, it won’t look as good as mine.”

Speaking of the devil…

You didn’t even need to look at him to know he was looking up at you with a big, devilish smile. Gojo was quick to destabilize you and get under your skin whenever you looked into his sky-blue eyes, always sparkling at you – so you didn’t.

“It won’t,” you hummed, disinterested. “It will look better.”

He scoffed, “You should only accept your defeat and move on…”

Your gaze finally found him; wearing baggy sweatpants, a sweater, slippers, and, of course, the smile you predicted.

“Did you really just leave your house to be a pain in my ass, you fucking grinch?” you asked when processed his outfit.

He gasped, pretending to be outraged, “Grinch! Me!? The one who loves Christmas the most!”

Tired of his antics, you sighed, dropping the hammer you were holding onto the box beside the ladder and getting ready to climb down. Maybe throw some punches.

When stepping down, you miscalculated the distance between one step and the other and lost your balance. A scream of pure horror left your lips, pretty sure you’d break a bone when the warmth of two arms caught you in the air.

Before you knew it, Gojo was holding you bridal style, your frightened eyes fluttering open to meet his widened ones, “You scared me for a moment there!”, he breathed out, his body relaxing when he realized danger was no longer present.

Still processing what had just happened, you put your hand on his chest and pushed lightly, a silent request to be put down – which he quickly obliged.

“Fuck, sorry, I’m just— so stressed!”, you grumbled while trying to calm your heartbeat. Everything escalated so quickly and your body couldn’t keep up, “You fucking stress me!”, you spat at last.

Almost falling and having Satoru Gojo, of all people, saving you; it was a sick joke. And you blamed him.

Gojo suddenly went quiet – unusually quiet –, and you could see him biting his lip and looking around awkwardly.

Without saying another word, he grabbed the hammer you had dropped a few moments earlier and simply climbed the ladder, “The fuck are you doing?”

“I’m finishing this for you,” he said so low you could barely hear him.

You watched, in utter disbelief, as Gojo hammered the nails into your roof and placed the Christmas in the places you first intended them to be. You didn’t know, but he did watch you decorating your garden and outdoors and he noticed your patterns, so it wasn’t hard for him to make it the way you wanted.

“You need help with anything else?”, the white-haired man asked casually as he climbed down the ladder, never looking directly at you, his ever so annoying smile gone.

“What is that now, Gojo? Stop acting nice, you don’t have to pretend you care about my decorations or about me,” your words held a hint of bitterness and resentment.

“What?” he finally lifted his eyes to meet yours, confliction hidden behind his irises. “I do care about you.”

You scoff, “Sure, Gojo. Go back to your Award Winner house, will you? I will handle things here,” you stopped to add, “By myself.”

Maybe it was the fright of almost falling or just tiredness of fighting, but you felt like you really couldn’t spend another second with Gojo without losing your mind. He truly got under your skin and you recognized it, he didn’t even do anything, but…

“I’m sorry for stressing you out so much, it was never my intention,” was what he said before leaving you alone.

You gulped, feeling a little guilty for lashing out at him. Your rivalry was never that serious, just something you’d actually laugh about at night before sleep, but recently it became sort of a different experience. Something about that damned man, that infuriating smile and maddening eyes – it made you want to scream at him.

Why, though?

You wish you knew.

You sighed and shook your head, trying to forget everything about him. You proceeded to decorate your outdoors a little more until the sun was setting, then you turned on all the lights and smiled to yourself with the results so far.

Entering your house, you took a hot shower before putting on the comfiest pajamas you found, going to the kitchen, and preparing some hot chocolate when your doorbell rang.

You took your time to take the hot chocolate off the stove and went to answer the door.

As you opened it, you almost regretted all your life choices; you regretted opening the door, you regretted putting on that fucking pajama, you regretted not drying your hair, you even regretted moving to that cursed neighborhood.

Because there stood Satoru Gojo with a big box in his hands and sky-blue puppy eyes.

“Hi,” he smiled without a care in the world, he smiled and didn’t care about your pajamas or wet hair, he smiled and a small part of you was grateful that he did.

It felt wrong when he stopped smiling earlier.

“Hi,” you said back, uncertain of why he was there.

“Your house looks so beautiful tonight,” he started and, if you didn’t know Gojo, you’d say he was blushing. “More beautiful than mine.”

You blinked slowly, blood rushing quickly to your cheeks as your heart beat faster with the compliment and in a second you were blushing as well.

Oh.

“Oh,” you didn’t know what to say. What was there to say? What did he want? “Thank you, Gojo.”

“I brought you the best decorations I could find– some I believe that would suit you,” he continued and you noticed how uneasy he looked.

He practically shoves the box he was holding into your arms, but you accept it without a single complaint, “Thank you, but… why?”

“I like you.”

The declaration hung in the air like a mistletoe above your heads, the tension immediately installed, thoughts of should we kiss? and is this the best moment? filling both of your minds, mixed with the embarrassment of an unexpected circumstance.

“I’ve liked you for a long time and I mess with you because…” he looked away. “I don’t know, I just like to spend hours teasing you and having you teasing me back, but I never meant to actually make you feel any kind of bad–”

“Gojo,” you interrupted him. He was talking too much and that was new information you still didn’t know how to process. The mere thought of Satoru Gojo liking you seemed too surreal to be true. “You don’t need to apologize, just…”

You didn’t know why, but a ghost of a smile started forming on your lips. You could feel it tugging on your face, a warm feeling embracing your heart as you took in the image of your obnoxious neighbor standing at your front door. The way he got under your skin…

“I just prepared some hot chocolate. Do you want to come in?”

Gojo’s eyes lightened up instantly, a sparkle you’ve never seen before shining among his blues. He nodded and took a step to enter your house, which he had never entered before.

He crossed your walls and made himself at home.

[joeyleesblog]

Sorry brother (from the series You made me hate my reflection)

Miles was paying for his sins against Pandora and her people. Officially.

"He's going to be fine, kids. Yes, he will because he's a tough kid. – Neteyam kept muttering non-stop, for whatever reason, imitating his father's voice, but it got weird. – Ah yes, how well he turned out, father!!"

Ah, should I be offended? Miles thought absently. I'm definitely better, but nobody accepts that fact. Idiots.

Neteyam moved suddenly, Miles automatically tensed and prepared to defend himself, but the Na'vi boy did nothing but glare at Miles...

No. Not Miles. Spider.

"I wanted to come after you – we all did, I swear. We wanted to rescue you, Spider, I swear."

Oh, for God. Why didn't he just walk away and pretend he didn't see anything? Now he has to deal with a drunk guy spewing excuses for a dead kid. Excellent.

All very well. Just this once. Miles decided.

"Then why didn't you? If you cared, what stopped you?" - There was no judgment or accusation in his tone, just pure questioning. Which caught Neteyam off guard, but it took a few seconds for him to recover and respond.

""Daddy said you'd be fine... you were one of them and you were, you were a child - they would see it - they should see it!" – The sudden anger in his voice, an outrage flared in his yellow eyes. Miles ignored it.

"He is your father, it is natural for you to believe and trust what he says."

"“I shouldn't – Neteyam explodes – I shouldn't – not at that moment, I shouldn't! I should have, I should have...”

"What should you?"

""I should have gone after you. I could have at least tried, dammit! I should have tried, fought harder for you! You, you were my friend, my brother, it was my duty to protect you. I, I... "

“I, I failed you. – regrets Neteyam. “No…not just that night, but before, I left you alone, when we were younger. I walked away and believed you would be fine because your had Loa'k and Kiri. I... I never thought about how you understood my withdrawal or how you felt. I did not do. I'm sorry, Eywa! I'm sorry, I'm sorry, Spider... Sorry"

Neteyam starts sobbing and wailing, Miles lets him cry all he wants, thinking how shitty this situation was for both of them. Neteyam shouldn't be apologizing to Miles, but to Spider. Miles shouldn't get that apology, but Spider does. Nothing was right, but it was too late to change things.

When Neteyam finally calmed down and seemed more in control of himself, Miles grabbed his shoulders and looked deep into his eyes.

"I can't forgive you. – His tone was calm, serious. – I'm not him, Neteyam. I can't give you what was his right. And no matter how many times you ask him for forgiveness, you get nothing from a dead man."

Neteyam's eyes widened at his words and when he opened his mouth to probably protest, Miles didn't let him.

"I'm not him. Spider died in that interrogation and I was born in his place. I am Miles Socorro and I have my own experiences, memories, my own life, Netayam. – he let Neteyam process the words for a moment before continuing. – "Besides, you would have been captured and unlike Spider, you was going to die or be used as a bargaining chip. Your family would have tried to save you and possibly die too. In other words, it would have been all for nothing. Chasing ghosts won't make him come back. It's time to move forward and not be left behind."

Tears come out of Neteyam's eyes.

"But I can not. Remembering him is all I can do for him."

""I'm not asking you to forget him, but that you stop chasing his ghost as a form of punishment for not being able to save him. Answer me one thing, would Spider have a grudge against you or another member of your family?"

Neteyam blinked at the sudden question and after thinking it over, replied with a sad smile.

"Spider was never one to hold a grudge. Not for long, anyway. He was such a good kid, too."

And too afraid to be alone. Miles decided not to share the thought, not when Nateyam finally stopped crying. And anyway, he suspected it wasn't necessary.

"Then stop punishing yourself. Spider would get sick of you."

Neteyam laugh.

...

Post 1 , Post 2, Post 4

[studentinpursuitofclouds]

Hi~ I'm back with more silly ideas~

So, when you have Krobus as your roommate, he mentions that sometimes he just wedges himself into a corner, or some other tight spot and just sits there. So, when the Farmer makes peace with the shadow people, what if they just... join in on this habit sometimes? Like, there's a team of adventurers doing their patrols in the mines, and they just shine a light into a massive crack in the wall and see the Farmer and half a dozen shadow people glaring at them bc they interrupted their "wedged in a corner" time.

How would the adventurers (Marlon, Isaac, Alesia, maybe Lance and Jolyne) react to this?

Heya again :3

So, about your ask...

_________________________________________

Marlon:

Prepared to attack the shadow people and save Farmer.

But he stopped when he realized that none of the shadow people were going to fight. Nor were they going to harm Farmer.

"Hey Marlon. We're a little busy here. And... Yeah, I made peace with them, so no hitting them, okay?"

*deep inhale and exhale*

"Kid, we need to talk..."

Scolds a bit later for not speaking up for peace between the two civilizations.

Not at all surprised by the shadow people's 'little tradition'. "I was already used to that when I first met Krobus."

Jolyne:

"Pardon, won't bother you." With a nonchalant face walked out of the Mines.

Totally calm about this strange situation.

Jolyne had seen a lot of shit, so there was nothing that could surprise her anymore.

But later she would be torn with curiosity and ask Farmer what it was.

"A peace with shadow people? I see you've already accomplished feats everywhere! And what's the fun of sitting in the corner all day?"

Isaac:

Pure WTF face. "What?!"

Wants to pull out his sword and get ready to fight, but not only are the Farmer and the shadow people not moving, they're also looking at Isaac like a.... idiot?

"Isaac, put your sword away. Why are you acting like a savage? Can't you see we're busy?" The shadow people nodded in agreement.

Isaac is confused, angry, and even insulted.

Walked out of the Mines to spout all his complaints to Marlon.

"Fucking peacemaker! Damn that farm freak and their monster friends!

Alesia:

Alesia's reactions are fast, and she already drew her bowstring towards the dark corner.

"Uh... Alesia, be a dear and put your weapon away please. It's making us nervous."

The girl was speechless."Farmer?!"

They had to give her a long explanation for both peace, the little tradition of 'sitting in the corner', and everything else.

Despite her logical outrage that Farmer hadn't told anyone about the peace with the shadow people, Alesia finds this tradition cute.

"Yoba have mercy, I hope you don't have such secrets anymore!"

Lance:

Mixed emotions. But in the end, curiosity overpowered everything.

"My friend, if you don't mind, please explain what's going on."

He listened to Farmer's story about the peace and the 'hangout' in the corner with their new friends.

"So shadow people do that all the time? Interesting..." Lance will definitely note this in his memoirs.

Will even ask the Farmer and the shadow people politely for permission to join them.

The Farmer is in favor. The shadow people are okay with it now too, because peace.

"It's amazing how much our peoples can learn about each other."

[au-wannabe-the-very-best]

For Wild Man and Wild Miss again.

Now I’m wondering how this au affects the relationship between the Pearl Clan and Jubilife. Like, I’m imagining the PC would warn them of anything they think is particularly dangerous, like Ingo and Akari and their pack in the icelands, but then Ingo just wanders in a day later, introduces himself, and tells them he’s happy to trade with them and also “please don’t catch any of the zorua or zoroark like you would normally. They’re scared of humans, and kidnapping their family even temporarily will not make them like you. Also have you met my lively daughter? Let me tell you how we met.” Does the PC know Ingo does trade with Jubilife? Do members ever see him and/or Akari there but they can’t do anything but leave because Jubilife is neutral territory and they’d be kicked out for starting a fight?

Also, more specifically, what if one day Gaeric tried to talk about that time he was defending a child against a zoroark when the Wild Man attacked and whisked the zoroark away. Rei hears this and puts two and two together.

Gaeric, in the games is a likable enough guy. I imagine nobody in the clan really dislikes him. Imagine his surprise when this Galaxy Team kid blows up at him and angrily tells him about how that experience looked from his perspective.

Jubilife is very firmly in neutral territory, so even if they don't agree with certain practices of the clans, they don't do anything about it, and it's generally agreed that they should make no comments on how the natives do things. Likewise, the Pearl and Diamond clans both agreed to not start anything within Jubilife. So, yes, while some Pearl Clan members recognize Ingo, they don't actually do anything about it other than trying to warn some of the people in Jubilife about him.

Of course, Jubilife is free to make their own opinions, and Ingo quickly proves himself to be a very friendly man. He's polite and would immediately drop what he's doing to help another person if they so request it, and he likes to brag about his little daughter to anyone who will listen.

It's hard to take anything the Pearl Clan says seriously when the guy they're trying to warn people of is some dude who shoves his daughter in everyone's faces and proudly announces that she can count to 20 all on her own, now, isn't she the smartest?

As for Gaeric, he definitely does keep that story up his sleeve to talk about sometimes, and he would absolutely get a nasty surprise when he tells it anywhere near Rei. The idea that there's anyone who's actually friends with The Wild Man is just absurd to a lot of the Pearl Clan. They didn't expect that there were people in Jubilife who actually likes him and his "daughter." They believed that Ingo is only ever there for purely business purposes.

Of course, Rei blowing up at Gaeric would be brushed off quickly. Gaeric will believe that Rei's just not that great at telling an illusion from reality, especially since Rei's just a kid. And the people of Jubilife would be forced to apologize for Rei's outburst because, again, this is neutral territory and nobody is supposed to aggravate the tentative relations they've built. Gaeric is a Warden, after all, which means he has high standing.

This isn't to say that the civilians of Jubilife would disagree with Rei's outrage. They've babysat Akari many times in the past. They remember her being brought through the gates, bloodied and crying and whimpering. Finding out the one responsible is someone deluding themselves into thinking they did an honorable thing over unfounded superstitions would put a sour taste in a lot of mouths. And that someone has political immunity. It just leaves a sense of tension, and there's nothing anyone can do about it. No one can speak up, no one is allowed to explain it.

On a different thought, I find it very funny that Ingo is just unintentionally a political time bomb. He's just going about trying to exist, take care of his daughter, etc, meanwhile he's somehow caused the most tension between the Pearl Clan and Jubilife without even doing anything. By being likable.

[enchantedchocolatebars]

Molly and Scratch Thanksgiving Headcanons 🦃

💖 Original headcanons 💙

🦃 Ao3 version 😊

💖 Molly 💖:

• Has a minute-long, enthusiastic, over-the-top musical number about the beauty and uniqueness of Thanksgiving, singing about celebrating it with friends and family, the variety of amazing foods, the parades and dog shows on TV, football, (there’s a Black Friday joke), donating and helping out at food banks and soup kitchens, and most importantly, having an attitude of gratitude and gladtitude.

There’s a joke near the end of the song where Scratch mentions that "gladtitude" isn’t a real word, to which Molly quickly states that it is in her dictionary before pulling out a pink tome covered in cute puffy stickers that have the words, “Molly’s Dictionary” written in purple cursive on the front. She rapidly flips through the many pages of the book until she spots the word “gladtitude” and points to it, even handing Scratch a magnifying glass to see for himself. It’s defined, by Molly of course, as the quality or feeling of being glad, rad, and overall thankful!

• Wants to create her own Molly-fied version of the first Thanksgiving and perform it in front of her mom and dad! She’ll need tons of turkey costumes, actors and actresses, puppets, a whole lot of glitter, a glue gun, and a good script! Molly will undoubtely ask Scratch, Libby, and Darryl for help.

• She's the artsy fartsy queen and will make a bunch of Thanksgiving arts and crafts with her family.

• Breaks the turkey wishbone with Scratch and ends up getting the bigger piece, which means her wish will come true, or so she hopes. Fingers crossed. 🤞

• Her list of things she’s thankful for is quite long. One of those things, which is at the top of her list, is being cursed by her bestest non-living friend ever, Scratch.

👻 Scratch 👻:

• His sole focus is on the food.

• That’s it.

• SCRATCH IS BEYOND ELATED WHEN HE FINDS OUT GRANDMA NIN IS COMING! HE’S SO PUMPED! HE CAN’T WAIT TO SEE WHAT TASTY THAI GOODIES SHE DECIDES TO BRING.

• He'll cause some ghostly mischief at a Thanksgiving parade if Molly and her family decide to go to one.

•It’s a McGee tradition to play football outside every Thanksgiving. Molly is eager for Scratch to take part in their family fun, but he declines due to sports not being his strong suit, so to speak. When Molly brings up the baseball game with the Lemmings, Scratch simply states that that was only one time. Molly, pretending to be disappointed, walks away, sighing. “It’s okay, Scratch. I understand if you’re too chicken to play.” She smiles a small, cheeky smile. Hearing those words, the blue ghost lets out an exaggerating gasp, a look of pure outrage appearing on his face. He then flies up to Molly and shouts in a thunderous tone, “NO ONE, AND I MEAN NO ONE, CALLS ME A CHICKEN! IT’S ON, MOLLY MCGEE!” Molly is exhilarated by the sudden shift and quickly grabs Scratch’s hand, taking him outside. He and Darryl end up winning, and Scratch can't help but rub it in Molly’s face as he does a little ghost jig.

•Some might expect Scratch to only say that he’s thankful for tacos or the misery of others. Don’t get him wrong, those things are wonderful, especially the tacos, but really, the thing he’s most thankful for is being friends with Molly. He was pretty much a loner in the ghost world (still kind of is) and didn’t really have a companion. Molly’s enthusiasm and positive outlook on life can get annoying, but… he’s glad to have the kid around, you know? Makes him feel… like a big brother. He feels… almost alive. Yeah, pretty ironic feeling for a ghost.

[sunlightandsuffering]

It's kind of cute how Fratboy Eren begs Mikasa to come to his frat parties every time even though he knows she'll say no

CHIVALRY IS ABOUT BUYING THE GIRL AN UBER IF UR GONNA HAVE A BOOTY CALL LOL !!

Eren has never been one to indulge Mikasa, he can’t, she’d be spoiled rotten if he did everything she said, gave her everything in the world she deserved, the most perfect, beautiful– stop, he’s getting a little carried away. 

He simply can’t indulge her though, or she’d be a brat, which is ironic seeing as how if anyone was spoiled he was, a nepo baby and richest kid on the block, but he doesn’t think it’s changed him too much. 

On the other hand, Mikasa is already kind of a brat, maybe if he had indulged her when they were younger she wouldn’t have turned into this angry little feminist spaz. 

Maybe she’d be sweet and loving, and his girlfriend hanging on his arm. 

But as he tries to picture it, he simply can’t, can’t get that patented murderous glare out of his mind, how just one glance gets him hot. 

No, he likes her just as she is, full of burgeoning rage at the patriarchy, and hypocritical just for him. 

The contrast of her is fucking beautiful, and who would have thought that his tenth-grade vow to become a sexist asshole in pure spite of her would reward him so well. Because where other men receive her rabid dislike, Eren receives her reluctant affection and nothing is hotter than her showing up to his frat house in an uber at 3 am, after repeatedly telling him no. 

Nothing is better than being the only man she’ll make an exception for. ​​

That hit of dopamine every time she rejects him, knowing she’ll make an exception in the end, that she’ll turn up on his door step spritzed in light perfume, freshly showered and shaved, wrapped up in sweats and an old oversized sweater just for him. She’s like a present to unwrap, and he adores it. 

So, he texts her, against all common sense, despite the fact that there is an entire sorority in his house right now, a girl with tits the size of melons trying to hang off his arm, he does it. Eren, 11:18 pm

come over, miss u, kinda wanna get my dick wet. 

And although he wonders if the last statement was a little bit much, imagining her enraged reaction makes him practically giddy, how she’s probably fuming about it right now. 

And sure enough, seconds later, like she simply couldn’t wait to respond. 

Mikasa, 11:18 pm

Fuck off Yeager

Women are not objects I will not be coming over now, or ever

The typing bubble continues for a while and he watches in amusement as it appears and disappears several times before she finally stops responding. 

Eren decides to throw fuel on the fire as the blonde with melon tits leaves him, deciding he’s not worth the effort, and privately, Eren agrees. 

Eren, 11:30 pm

i’ll let you suck me off

God, what he wouldn’t give to facetime her right now, watch her respond in real time because he can only imagine the shocked outrage. 

Mikasa, 11:31 pm

That’s not the win you think it is Yeager. 

Eren, 11:31 pm

could be… if you show up 👅

Eren receives nothing else from her for the next several minutes, and before he can stop himself he’s ordering her an Uber, because you know chivalry isn’t dead after all. If he’s going to get her to come over mid-party for a booty call, he might as well be a gentleman about it.

[honey-tea-and-lemon-trees]

…bagels 👀

hello. below (and on ao3 because I don’t know how to write short lil drabbles apparently) is pure, silly, tooth-rotting fluff. established nace, same brain silliness. please enjoy <3

————————————

It’s been a long, frequently employed, running joke amongst their circle - how similar they are. 

Since the beginning, it’s been years of shared chuckles and rolled eyes as they observe Ace and Nancy talk to each other in half-sentences, communicating in a language only the two of them can understand. Cries of disbelief as Nancy finds Ace’s eyes across the room at exactly the right moment, and knows in her bones that he’d cracked the solution to a case; feeling his gaze on her seconds before she beats him to the answer; or best of all, when the only way to beat something is to swirl their thoughts together in one glass, the solve a well-mixed cocktail of them two of them.

It’s mostly limited to eyebrow wagging and shaking heads when their poring over murder boards, but stems into full blown outrage at family game nights.

It was established, fairly early on, that they weren’t allowed to be on the same team due to unfair advantage. 

‘What advantage?’ Nancy head yelled, disgruntled as she threw her legs across Ace’s on the couch. 

‘That thing you two do,’ Ryan had murmed with narrowed eyes. ‘We’ve collectively agreed it shouldn’t be allowed for fair and square games.’ 

Ace’s eyes had swung to Nancy’s, his mouth pinched in a, ‘ huh’ . 

Nancy raised a brow, to which he shrugged. 

‘Yes!’ Bess had clapped her hands furiously, ripping their attention away from each other. ‘That’s the thing!’ 

‘No couples allowed!’ Especially you two weirdos,’ George had said decisively. She waved a hand in Nick’s direction, on the other side of the room, as if to prove her point. 

‘I object,’ Ace said lazily, as Carson strolled into the Drew house living room.

‘Overruled. Sorry kids.’ 

Then, it was decreed they weren’t allowed to be on opposite teams because they both got too caught up and competitive until George snapped that they were giving her a headache and to ‘fucking chill out.’

One… particularly heated , incident gets them slapped with a ban from the next two game nights. Nancy’s left yelling on the doorstep, Ace’s jaw still hanging open as Nick closes the door to his and George’s house with a regretful shrug, with a stern dad look about his face.

Nancy scoffs and turns to Ace. They blink at each other in the soft evening light.

‘That was your fault.’ Nancy pokes Ace in the ribs and tries to stop her traitorous lips from curving into a smile.

‘I have no defense… Game Night Ace is a passionate guy. Sometimes he takes the reins and I don’t come-to until the yelling cuts through the trance,’ he mutters, looking convincingly sorrowful. Hair hanging over his wide, blue eyes in a gut-wrenchingly innocent puppy dog gaze. 

The smile blooms fully across her face, even as she rolls her eyes. ‘Game Night Ace is pretty ridiculous.’ 

‘You’re tellin’ me.’ He shakes his head as he offers Nancy his arm.

She snakes her hand around Ace’s bicep and embraces the magnetic pull of her body towards his, despite the still sticky heat of the evening. 

They didn’t bring a car, it’s not a far walk from Nick and George’s to their place. They stroll in companionable quiet until a townsperson inevitably stops them every few minutes and they have to engage in conversation. Nancy knows as many of them as Ace does, has reasons to like each of them, but can’t say she’d stop her journey for every single one, if not for the humanoid golden retriever she’s attached to. 

Nancy spends the walk, and intermittent conversations, tracing mindless patterns on the warm skin of Ace’s arm, shown off in one of his short-sleeved floral shirts that she loves, tinged golden from weeks of warm, summer sun. 

They’re nearly thirty minutes into their nine minute commute home, and yet Nancy doesn’t want to burst the bubble of the evening yet. She’s drunk on the laughter of her friends and family, the ridiculousness of getting thrown out of game night because of the man she loves. 

She nudges Ace’s shoulder with her chin as he waves to Mrs Feldman, finally retreating. ‘Do you want to see if Cindy’s still got the ice cream parlour open?’ She murmurs softly, nuzzling her nose against his shirtsleeve slightly.

Ace looks at her with an impossibly tender expression, a smile curling his lips and a hand suddenly clutching his heart. ‘You just read my mind, Nance.’

In the absence of game nights come bets.  

They start because there is only one blueberry bagel left. 

‘That bagel is mine, Drew.’ Ace looks at her with widened eyes, hands held out cautiously in front of him as he slowly shuffles towards her.

Nancy yelps as he suddenly darts around their kitchen table, narrowly missing his hand grabbing for her waist. She readjusts her hold on the plate where her bagel precariously resides.

‘Seeing as it’s in my hand, I don’t see how that can be true, Hardy,’ she muses, continuing to pace backwards around the table.

‘You acquired it through nefarious means and you know it!’ His voice is a scratchy, morning rumble.

She shrugs. ‘Nothing you can prove.’ 

‘Maybe so…’ He breathes a laugh, straightening and running a hand through his still sleep-mussed hair, the muscles in his arm bunching more deliciously than a blueberry bagel. 

This man plays dirty, it’s an attack on all of Nancy’s weak areas and he knows it.

Unfortunately it works. Her stomach is still fluttering even as she shrieks a laugh when this time, his hands do encircle her waist. He walks them backwards until she’s boxed in by his hands on the counter either side of her body, the plated bagel trapped between their chests. 

The corners of his eyes crinkle with lines that weren’t there when they first got together. Evidence of years of smiles just for Nancy, like a whisper in her ear, on a man who they’re hard to coax from. 

Gotcha , his smirk says now.

‘Fine,’ she mumbles grumpily, as Ace lets out a quiet victory laugh and drops a kiss onto her bare shoulder, where the strap of her tank top has fallen down. ‘I’ll share.’ She holds it out half for him, and he takes a bite without removing his hands from beside her, letting out a happy hum while he chews. ‘But only because I know how grumpy you’d be without your morning bagel.’ 

He huffs with his mouth full. Presses a blueberry flavoured kiss to her lips before he says, ‘Not exactly cutting coming from you, Nance.’ 

Her jaw goes slack with mock shock as she offers him another bite of bagel. ‘Excuse me?’ 

‘You’re grumpy as hell if you don’t get your morning bagel fix,’ he murmurs before he tears another bite off. He kisses the edge of her mouth again and pushes off the counter. ‘But you eat the rest of that, I’ll get dressed and go grab some more.’

‘Nope, you have it,’ Nancy says, holding out the plate to him, chin lifted indignantly. ‘And don’t worry about going out… I don’t need a bagel.’ 

Ace raises a brow at her. She mirrors his expression challengingly. 

He cautiously takes the plate from her outstretched hands, eyeing her carefully. 

‘In fact,’ she muses. ‘I won’t have any more bagels… this week!’ 

‘Nancy…’ he drags out her name in a groan that makes her chest flutter. He discards the plate on the table and grabs her waist. ‘I’m just kidding around. I’m grumpy without my bagel too!’ 

‘I know you were, but you presented a challenge. And I don’t back down from those.’ She smirks, winding her arms around his neck. ‘Do you think you could go without for a week?’ 

He blinks. ‘ Could and Wanting to… very different concepts here.’ 

She pouts her lips, eyeing him teasingly. ‘You couldn’t then.’ 

‘That’s not what I’m saying…’ 

‘Well, prove it then.’ 

Ace narrows his eyes. Nancy pokes the bear. 

‘I bet you cave before I do,’ she whispers against his lips. 

His whisper is immediate and cursing. ‘God dammit.’ 

‘What’s wrong with Nancy?’ Bess hisses at a volume she thinks Nancy can’t hear, but Icarus Hall (the newly established premises of the Historical Society, since Ace and Nancy found a place in town) is echoey as hell. 

Ace hisses back through the corner of his mouth. ‘She’s trying to win a bagel bet.’ 

‘In words we’ll all understand please, darling,’ Bess prompts.

‘We swore off bagels until the other caves and eats one. Haven’t had any in a week.’

‘Oh god…’

Ace hums consolingly. ‘We had to walk past the store and smell all the freshly baked cinnamon bagels. Mrs G’s new recipe… She isn’t taking it well.’ 

‘Ooh… those are to die for though.’

Ace groans, dropping his head onto the desk. ‘Don’t tempt me.’ 

Nancy swivels in her chair, calling across the room to where the pair of them are sitting. ‘He’s so close to giving in, I can taste it.’ 

‘I am made of stone. Nothing can break me,’ Ace says, completely deadpan.

‘Ha!’ Nancy shuts the door with a smug grin on her face, on Day 8 of the bagel bet. If the Horseshoe Baygles bag sitting on the counter were not damning enough, there’s a half eaten one hanging out of Ace’s mouth. Game over.

‘She got me! Mrs G cornered me and asked why I hadn’t been in! She said she’d been worried about us, Nancy!’ He collapses into a chair heavily, wraps his mouth around another hulking bite. ‘I was gonna just take the bag over to my mom’s but once I had that smell circulating in Florence… I was a goner.’ 

Nancy laughs, as she slips off her shoes and pads across the floor towards him. She nudges his knees so she can step between them, cradling his face to tilt up to her. 

‘You really can’t resist an old lady offering you bagels?’ She brushes a knuckle against his cheek.

‘I really can’t.’ He shakes his head gently in her grip. ‘May or may not have eaten three already.’ 

‘You’re going to have a stomach ache.’ 

‘I’d do it again. These are fucking delicious,’ he whispers seriously, coaxing another laugh from Nancy. 

‘I love you, strange man.’ She leans down and Ace smiles into her kiss. ‘Did you at least save me some?’ 

‘Do I wanna live to the end of the day? ‘Course I left you some,’ he mutters with a smirk. 

Nancy immediately leans over him reaching for the paper bag. ‘I already have ideas for new bets… I want to keep this winning streak going and I think I can beat you again.’ 

Ace chest rumbles with a rare, bursting laugh, tugging her waist until she’s fully seated in his lap. Nancy lets out a surprised yelp, barely keeping a hold on her bagel bag. 

‘I love you, strange woman.’ He gazes at her, and her chest throbs with the tenderness splayed across his face. 

Even after all this time, the loving him isn’t the slightest bit tiring. 

‘Tell me your ideas, Nance... But be warned. This time, I’m beating you.’

[the-marshmallow]

I so rarely share my OC lore (mainly because I think it sucks) but here's what I got on my fave Bhaal-babe, Roux the Murderbard.

NB: it's probably not DnD-lore-friendly but I don't care - we're here to have fun not good grades, right?

The Dark Urge, apparently.

He's a Wood Half-Elf. How? Why? Not a clue.

In his early 30s (I debated whether to include Blood in BG events and yes)

Roux is not his name, it's the nickname one of his foster siblings gave him.

Was raised by many foster families. The one he remembered when Shadowheart healed him a little too hard what not the first or the only one. Some died by The Urge, some threw him out for being a creepy kid.

He was not as much creepy as hugely developmentally delayed due to the lack of consistent care and education. Which made even Sceleritas concerned - the Father needed a healthy, strong and smart spawn, not this.

He ended up with a family of Lathander worshippers for the longest time. He had a home, he had siblings, he was if not loved but cared for and educated. He learned to smile, laugh, hug, sing, love.

He never got higher than INT 10 mentally, but showed a knack for music and was taught instruments. Gameplay-wise he passed a lot of History and Religion checks - he learned most of those things through folk songs and prayers.

Lathander worship was not forced on him, he was free to choose. Everything felt wrong, but since he's half-elf he addressed Corellon when he had to. (it's the first thing he does on the Nautiloid in the game, so...)

Sceleritas took him away the day he came of age. There was the first murder spree after that. It was mostly The Urge, he couldn't remember half of it even before the lobotomy.

Orin hated him before she met him. She hated him even more when she met him. She was groomed to be the Chosen since childhood. Now that sorry fucker who couldn't murder shit without his butler guiding him or The Urge directly controlling him is suddenly her superior. (And constantly humming some stupid folk songs, urghhh!) Outrageous, even I agree.

Sceleritas never let Roux stay out of the Temple too long because it made The Urge weaker and let him resist it. One of the things that kept Roux out of a Temple for extended periods of time is when he started consorting with Lord Gortash. The Urge was getting weaker, Orin was getting stronger, you know the rest.

As for my Durgetash - well, I love and support all the dark and disturbing takes on that! - but in Roux's case it was whatever was left of the ginger fluffball behind The Dark Urge and whatever was left of the real Enver behind Lord Gortash desperately falling for each other. Roux fell for a passionate inventor and a visionary - brilliant mind, dubious ethics as they come - he saw in those rare moments Gortash forgot about politics and focused on the purely creative aspects of his work. Their mutual dynamic being "I could fall in love with you. - Don't you fucking dare!" They pretended it was mostly sexual, but that's a story for another post.

[marztheincredible]

So since your fic plays into the underlying theme of Luz being spoken to by the titan, i thought to ask about a scene I haven't thought about in a while.

So when I first watched Young Blood, Old souls, the scene where Luz is able to get Eda to recognize her, despite being entrenched in the curse, with a light spell didn't exactly stand out to me, perhaps assuming there was lingering magic from belos or something. (I was much more stuck in the drama of the moment, wondering what would happen next)

But rewatching this scene, I realize that Eda is fully the Owl beast in this moment, no black ringed golden eyes, just purely the Owl beast.

Now I wonder if, in reality, this was supposed to somehow show that Luz, with the magic she had earned from the Titan, is able to coax even the consciousness buried deep inside the trenches of a curse that was supposed to keep her away for good?

Had the Titan blessed Luz with more than we can see (the magic that she is able to harness so powerfully)?

I guess I'm asking for your thoughts on the scene, lol.

Ohhhh interesting theory!

Honestly I see that thing as The Owlbeast relinquishing control because at that moment, both them and Eda knew their fate. So it understood that bond Eda has with her kid and came under an agreement to have their last words with each other.

In terms of the fic, It’s funny how some take the info of Luz being blessed by the Titan means she’s the chosen one. She isn’t, not necessarily. Luz is part of the axel that’s the wheel of change. What’s happened to her, turning into a Witch, happened to other humans that the Titan deemed worthy, blessed. It happened to Caleb, and to other passerby’s who decided to stay on the Isles.

“The two brothers stay and the eldest begins to change. The youngest does not.”

The Old Ways slowly make their resurgence because Luz was the kickstarter. You can thank her and her outrageous inquisitiveness/curiosity for that. A domino effect is happening and as her (and in turn Eda’s) influence makes their way through the Hexsquad, they’ll in turn shift the perspective of their loved ones/friends so on and so forth. Break the cycle, and refuse to settle for a doomed fate.

“The Old Ways start to die out and his presence grows weaker in the next fifty years.

He is being Forgotten.”

In the last ditch effort of the remaining influential presence The Titan has, he sends that spark to Luz to begin that change. The Titan simply gave our protagonist a little nudge, and might keep doing so as The Old Ways make their return.

“This child burns as bright as the sun.

She will save his children.

She will make them Remember.”

[cupiditasfm]

Skeleton #1: Obsidian (NPC)

Non-Playable Character

- Renaud Moreau Dupont (Former Patriarch, died three months ago, Former CEO of Dupont Couture, Husband to Millie and Father to Josephine and Beau) fc: Giancarlo Esposito

TW: INFIDELITY AND DEATH

Brief description: He was the eldest out of his siblings and he was a perfectionist. To him, there was no room for error. He would personally check all the designers designs under the Dupont label himself and if even a stitch or a seam was out of place or if a material looked cheap, he'd simply fire them without a second thought. He was cutthroat, he was a no nonsense kind of guy, if he deemed you unworthy then he'd shut you out. He had previously been a serial cheater, something that his siblings willingly ignored because he hadn't had any bastards. It wasn't until he met a woman at a prestigious art and fashion event in Paris that he briefly stopped his cheating ways. Her name was Mathilde, she was a French painter who came from a wealthy family of artisans. They fell in love and got married before a few months later the marriage was annulled. The press still isn't sure of the truth of why Renaud and Mathilde didn't work out. The Dupont Family slandered her in the press and lied about what really happened. Here's the real story... the rest of the Dupont Family didn't like Mathilde, she was obnoxious, Renaud decided he wanted to have kids and Mathilde couldn't give him children, and finally Renaud had an affair with Millicent, Mathilde's little sister. Renaud carefully planned it because when Mathilde wasn't around he would be getting awfully close to Millicent. Millicent was softer and she was a good listener, Renaud liked that. She liked that Renaud was protective and attentive, and the two of them bonded over art. Millie knew that he was married to her older sister, but out of pure jealousy she decided to steal Renaud. Millie was certainly years younger than Renaud, but she didn't care. Renaud proposed to Millie, she said yes, and they got engaged. The annulment forms arrived and a distressed Mathilde allegedly moved to Portugal afterwards. They never saw or spoke to each other again. Before Millie married Renaud she also ceased all contact with Mathilde. Some years later, Millie blessed the Duponts with two children, Josephine and Beau. The Duponts were neutral when it came to Millie, to them she was plain and acted like a doormat. Renaud was happy that he had a loving wife and wonderful children, but it wouldn't last. He very suddenly and tragically passed away a few months ago after a heart attack in his own bathtub, he had died alone. After his funeral, his family all gathered to read his last will and testament, and to their absolute shock and outrage Renaud named Millie the CEO of Dupont Couture. They spat on Renaud and his legacy and started plotting to take Dupont Couture back from Millie. His two children aren't too happy about the status of his will either because they think that they should have the company now instead of it going directly to their mother.