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hunterssm00n · 8 months ago

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Find You

One month after the events of SOTL but before Hannibal (2001): Clarice Starling is an FBI agent on the hunt for one Doctor Hannibal Lecter, and she reflects on their strange connection. | Hannibal Lecter/Clarice Starling |

also on my ao3: here

*cw mild language*

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I look for you in the center of the sun / I took a pill but it didn't help me numb / I see your face even when my eyes are shut / But I never really know just where to find you...

"You're dancing circles around me You're fucking crazy Oh oh, you're crazy for me Oh oh, you're crazy for me..." ~ 'Cruel World' - Lana Del Rey

X.x

"Starling. Starling. Starling. A bird with strong wings and feet, capable of flying great distances. Often bears a dark complexion with a vague, metallic sheen coating it's feathers... as if it were dipped in oil. Wouldn't you agree, Clarice?"

"Well, of that I'm not sure, sir. I don't think I've ever seen one; none that I would be able to identify, at least."

"An interesting creature - most phylum cordata usually are. Are you at all interested in the study of species?"

"Sure, I guess, but not of the animal variety, Doctor Lecter."

"Ahh, because there are different species of human, right you are. Is that why you chose to become a figure of law enforcement, Clarice? To study the sea of moral defecation around you, and to try to cleanse the world of it?"

"Mm, when you say it like that, it sounds more like you're describing a scientist, to me. Or maybe a doctor."

"But we are all scientists to our own right, aren't we, Clarice? And doctors are really just glorified scientists, schooled to understand the inner workings of something and to try to find medically accurate compensation where there is a lack. Officers of the law do this as well, but not in the biological sense - more so in the social sense. They weed out those cancerous forms that attempt to spread evil unto the world; cut them out with the steel scalpel of To protect and serve. This requires some science, Clarice. You have done your own studying of the world."

"I have. We all have, sir."

"Sir. Doctor Lecter. So polite. Society lacks manners, nowadays. It's only gonna get worse from here."

"Not a very positive outlook for the future."

"I have hopes, but not high ones for society. Can you really blame me, Clarice? What with people like Buffalo Bill wreaking havoc in different parts of this cruel world?"

"With all do respect, Doctor, one could look at your actions and say the same."

"Mmm, clever girl. Too clever. You don't agree to fight violence with violence? Survival of the fittest? You'd likely lay your body down to form a bridge for those less fortunate, Clarice, and they would end up collapsing you to climb their 'lil selves on up that laddah."

"But you can't fight fire with fire, either, sir. There has to be some sort of balance."

"And if they're not willing to compromise, Clarice? If they are not as sympathetic as you, then what?"

"I guess I'll have to cross that bridge when I come to it."

"Starling. Birds are quite impressive creatures, aren't they? The starling itself isn't widely known, but it is a clever little creature indeed. Strong little wings, sturdy feet with which to stand. It also has the ability to mimic the sounds of other animals that it hears - sometimes even the vocal sounds of humans."

"This is very interesting, Doctor Lecter, but I'd really like to get back on topic."

"Does it sound like I'm describing you, Clarice? Do you repeat the things you hear from higher-ups in the department? Has Jack Crawford made you his puppet?"

"What do you think, Doctor? You've studied me at every meeting. Do my words sound like they've been scripted? Do they sound like they would ever come out of Jack Crawford's mouth?"

"No, Agent Starling, they do not. You are indeed a creature all your own."

"So if I am a Starling, sir, what are you?"

"That depends on you, Clarice. I am either the cage keeper, or the one who opens the door and sets you free. The choice is yours."

X.x

"Clarice?"

Her face hurt; felt like it was being mushed against a hard surface. The voice broke through the darkness she had fallen into, and now she was slowly coming back to the world of consciousness, very slowly.

"Clarice,"

She groaned with the effort of opening her eyes; her head felt as heavy as a bowling ball on her thin neck as she tried to raise it. When her eyes fluttered and focused, she noticed the light brown of the smooth top of her desk to the right of her vision. Lifting her head more, she realized it had been resting on the black and white mug shot of Hannibal Lecter in an old newspaper. She'd actually fallen asleep while working. All throughout school she hadn't even done that.

"Jesus," Came a female voice from behind her - probably Ardelia wondering where the hell her partner had been.

Clarice lifted her head all the way up off the desk, wisps from her ponytail sticking to the side of her face that had been covering the newspaper. She absently wiped a hand across her cheek, wondering if it would come away with gray smudges from the newspaper that were probably printed onto her face. Being so close to Doctor Lecter's mugshot on the paper, she noticed that the two dimensionality of the black and white photo did nothing to diminish his stare. It was as if he was staring into the soul of whomever was holding the paper - like he was staring into her soul once again.

Clarice turned around in her chair to face the woman whom she roomed with, Ardelia. Ardelia had graduated the academy shortly after Clarice had, and until they could each afford their own stable homes, they decided to share an apartment to help build their individual savings. They knew each other well - they'd survived the academy as roommates and knew they could live with one another (and only wanted to kill each other on rare occasions). They were now best friends, and knew almost everything about each other, so Ardelia was probably not surprised that even on their day off, Clarice was still working.

The other woman would have only been surprised if it was any other case she was working on.

"Girl, you look rough," Ardelia commented, not unkindly. Rather than suggest food or rest (or a therapist), she knew Clarice well enough to know that those questions would not phase her. Instead she asked: "Any leads?" Clarice appreciated her for everything she said - she knew the other woman was only looking out for her.

"Um," Clarice looked down at the small drool stain slowly seeping into the paper right next to Doctor Lecter's mug shot. "Not yet, today." She rose from the chair and stretched, groaning as her neck cracked from being at the odd angle when her face rested against the desk. How long had she been like that? "Any idea what time it is?" Apparently she'd removed her watch at some point too. God, she was never this disoriented.

"A little after twelve," Ardelia had checked her own watch, peering around Clarice at the desktop. She, herself, was all dressed up - dressy casual in nice black pants and a sweeping flowery top. Clarice had known she had a date this morning - brunch at a little diner in town with another agent that had graduated from the academy.

"How'd it go this morning?" She'd been out with this guy a few times, and Clarice could sense a brewing romance.

"Great," Ardelia replied, picking up the newspaper that lay flat on the desktop, "We're gonna catch a movie later tonight too." She moved the paper closer to her eyes, then brought it back down almost as soon. "He's one hell of a creep, huh?"

Clarice nodded, remembering back to the first time she had met him; the way he calmly stood in the middle of the cell, staring through the glass like he'd been expecting someone. The way his eyes lit up when they settled on hers - like he'd been expecting her.

Ardelia gave an exaggerated shudder and set the paper back down on the desk. "How do you not have nightmares?"

Clarice glanced at the photo, shrugging non-committedly, "I guess I'm just used to it now."

The truth was, she did have nightmares - she just didn't believe that he was the source. Most of the time it was the death of her father; the lambs screaming in terror as they were lead to the slaughter. It didn't happen every night, but enough that she had become used to waking up in the middle of the night, the blankets drenched with her sweat and tears rolling down her cheeks.

The only one she'd ever told about that was Hannibal Lecter. He was the only person in her life who'd ever thought to ask such dark questions.

What she also hadn't told Ardelia was that she did dream of him. Every single night. Not all of them were nightmares, though he somehow wound up in those as well. Sometimes it was simply her walking down the long stretch of concrete in the basement of the asylum; past the jeering, howling inmates in their cells. Some of the cells had lambs in them - some of the inmates were holding little lambs, and that was why they were screaming. Clarice knew he was at the end of the hallway; she just had to walk past this chaos to get to him. Finally, as always, he was waiting there, much like he had been the very first time she'd seen him, except he was much closer to the glass this time. He was awaiting her arrival, and she was anticipating the sight of him. He would smile salaciously at her, and raise a hand to the glass, pressing his palm against it. Stepping closer to the glass, she would raise her own hand and mirror his movement, placing it over his as though there was no glass between them. They would stay like that for three seconds, looking each other right in the eye. He would smile, and she would feel her lips begin to do the same. And then she would wake up.

At the moment, that dream was the most recurring in her mind. She couldn't remember what she had just dreamt about when she'd been asleep a few moments ago, but she would bet her life he had been in it.

She had to find him.

She had to find out why he occupied her every waking thought.

"Christ, I'd never sleep again if I had to be the one to talk to him. You've got nerves of steel." Ardelia commented, kicking off her shoes. "I'm gonna jump in the shower real quick. Do you wanna come to the movie later on too? We could grab one of the other guys to come, keep you company." The woman winked at her, and Clarice rolled her eyes with a smile.

"No thanks, I'm actually gonna go out myself; run some errands, exercise a bit."

"Oh great!" Ardelia looked relieved that her friend was actually leaving the apartment for a reason other than work. Clarice felt bad that she worried her so, but she couldn't stop what she was doing. It had become a mania. She had to catch this man.

Clarice padded into her bedroom to get dressed - she wanted to put her most comfortable workout clothes on. She didn't tell Ardelia that she was still hoping to find something to point her in the right direction. She had searched high and low, found a few things along the way but nothing very significant. She couldn't let him disappear anymore than he already had.

She stripped off her clothing - just an FBI t-shirt and a pair of matching sweatpants she used for pajamas. She was pulling a long sleeved shirt over her head when she saw it - something out of the ordinary. It lay on the top of her comforter, a folded up piece of paper. It wasn't white printer paper, but a cream colored thick paper, like something artists used. Clarice swallowed hard, moving across the carpeted floor to her bed. There is no way... Or was there? There was only one person that she knew of that would leave a note for her with that kind of paper. Artists parchment.

"You sonofabitch," she whispered, reaching out and gently grasping the paper as though she feared it would crumble between her fingers. Her hand trembled slightly as she brought it up off the comforter, but not out of fear. She would never admit the emotions that stirred within her - not in a thousand years. Not even to herself. Slowly she opened the two flaps so that the page was expanded to its fullest extent. It was only folded in half once, and when she opened it she could see why. There was a graphite drawing of a woman holding a baby lamb. The amount of shading and detail that was on the page, which wasn't bigger than 8x5 inches, was incredibly impressive. Not that she was surprised. The artist once told her that his memory had been all he had during his imprisonment. She knew he had an incredible eye for memorization and detail.

What did startle her a little was that the woman in the picture was her. The likeness couldn't have been more accurate - it was like she was looking into a mirror. It momentarily stunned her as she stared into her own eyes, her own arms cradling the tiny lamb to her chest. In the drawing she had what looked to be a cloak wrapped around both of them, leaving her shoulders bare but modestly covering every other part of her.

The second clear thought was that the person who had so carefully placed the note on her bed had to have snuck in sometime within the past two hours, because that was about how long she'd been asleep for. The person who had snuck in had to have meticulously calculated when she would be alone in the apartment - was he trying to time it so that she would be asleep? Had he thought he could catch her while she'd been awake? A million different questions ran through her mind, all at once, leaving her breathless.

The third thing she noticed, the most telling feature of all, was the short inscription on the bottom left side of the page, written in thin black ink.

"Liberty for wolves is death to the lambs."

~H.L.

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AN: I do not own the SOTL/Hannibal franchise or any of its characters. I also do not own the song ‘Cruel World’ by Lana Del Rey, or the song ‘Find You’ by Nick Jonas. The above photos are from Pinterest, and attached are the links to the original images.

#sotl #silence of the lambs #hannibal lecter #clarice starling #hannibal 2001 #my drabbles #my work #mine**#my writing #drabble #hannibal x clarice #fanfiction #fanfic #slasher community #slasher fandom #clannibal #ao3 #hunterssm00n

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dent-de-leon · 2 months ago

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He’s caged—like a demon. Like an animal. A soul damned over and over; from the Matron’s curse to his own infernal blood, a wretched fate and the wrong family line, the folly of his last fatal mistake—a little trinket shining in the moonlight, a prayer unanswered.

Was the weight of those chains worth it?

“It’s just another devil,” an archmage assured him. And Bren is forced to remember all the demons and devils he’d seen since ascending to the city, every creature chained and bound, paraded through the streets for the mages’ entertainment. The way it chilled him to the bone, seeing collars emblazoned with the names and ranks of other wizards, symbols of wealth and status as surely as any finery or crown.

He can’t see what's engraved on the tiefling’s collar, but the cuffs at his wrists and ankles are gold, glinting with jewels and adorned in intricate runes. And it makes Bren's stomach turn, seeing the red eyes branded all over his body—the countless scars he carried—

He starts tugging at the bandages on one arm, nails biting deep into the old fraying rags. Doesn’t think about his own scars still raw and burning, the shards of residuum gleaming just beneath the skin. The pinpricks of pain that never fade.

In the back of that cage, the tiefling stirs; head frantically tossing and turning, his whole body trembling. Eyes still shut. A nightmare, Bren thinks, knows, can feel it in the pit of his stomach. The anguished, muted cries. The breaths coming too sharp and fast. He’s woken far too many nights in a cold sweat—especially when the scars were still fresh.

When the tiefling’s tail twitches and lashes, clearly anxious, Bren's heart breaks a bit.

The Somnovem’s captive was locked away far below the enchanting halls of the Dawn Crucible, one of the greatest wonders of the clandestine, outcast Cognouza Ward. High vaulted ceilings and walls, all luminous with the dancing flicker and flare of an ethereal, azure light—a soft, warm glow suffusing the whole dome. The walls an array of endless shelves, every one overflowing with books and scrolls and tomes as old as memory itself. The threshold crest the crown jewel of it all, a glistening crystal centerpiece to illuminate the whole rotunda in dazzling radiance, a temple worthy of eternity.

“The birthplace of dreams,” an unnervingly zealous philosopher had promised. Her eyes were hollow, sunken, rimmed with dark circles. Bren wondered how a person could ever love dreaming so much, when they hadn’t slept in weeks—or months. Her magic seemed to spark with a kinetic energy, electric as a live wire. Her voice echoed with a moonstruck fervor, a divine reverence that was surely blasphemy. And wherever Bren turned, he could still sense her unerring gaze.

And here, down below an archive of endless dreams and possibility, the only light was the faint flicker of arcane torches. And Bren was faced with rows of human cages. He tries not to think of all the other prisoners, where they came from or who they were, what horrible misfortune had cost them everything, banished them to the darkest corner of a reigning empire.

“Why this one?” He can’t help but ask, even as he kicks himself for letting the words slip out. It’s foolish—dangerous. You were never this stupid before, he chides himself, Clever as you are, with things like this—you’re stupid.

The philosopher, Elatis, smiles warmly. It makes his skin crawl.

“Of all our research subjects, he has the greatest potential. Within his soul lies the key to eternity,” she said with a wondrous, contented sigh. “We are all of us the enemy to death, to suffering, to grief. But for all the horror she’s wrought, the Matron has also given us the very thing we need. She has planted the seeds, and now it is time to harvest.”

Fate touched, Bren realizes. Forever bound to a fate he could never hope to fight, strung up by the Matron like a puppet, the threads of destiny already woven. A prisoner, a pawn, another doomed soul to be sacrificed for the gods.

And for an archmage, a soul touched by the divine was a powerful conduit for otherworldly magic. Enslaved like the devils they bent to their will, the very essence of their life siphoned away. Mages bathing in their blood for just a taste of the divine.

With a whispered word and a wave of her hand, the cage door swung open, and Elatis stepped inside. She moved with a certain grace, as dignified as any noble. And when she knelt at the broken tiefling’s side, reached out a hand to embrace him—her touch was almost gentle. Kind.

“Shh. Hush, Nonagon. You were destined for this,” Elatis soothes, her voice washing over him in a soft, lilting lullaby.

She combed back a lock of hair to revel a crimson Eye branding his throat—a voracious hunger reflected in her own haunting stare.

She beckoned for Bren to join him, and he was helpless to do anything but follow. Gaze pointedly averted as he crossed the threshold, forced himself to enter the tiefling’s prison. He can’t bear to look too closely, to see just how much the poor thing suffered. He could only bite his tongue and shudder, willing himself not to see.

Beside him, the philosopher kept petting the long, dark locks of the tiefling’s tousled curls. It would have been comforting, perhaps even maternal, if not for the iron bars that caged him, the golden chains that bound him body and soul.

“Aeor and Zemnias are the last remaining bastions of mortals,” Elatis mourned, her dark, piercing gaze softening for but a moment. “It was good of your master to send you here to learn, to join us in this time of so much war and strife. All are welcome here, in our design. You have but to ask, and we will open your mind to the Dream.”

My master wishes to see you fall, Bren thought darkly, Trent’s words still echoing in his head. “Join them. Learn from them all you can. Aid them, obey them. And steal whatever secrets you find. Bring back a weapon worthy of the Empire, one that can bring an end to Aeor.”

“The tiefling you chose. He…was he alone when you found him? Has he no family?” The words taste like ash on his tongue, hanging heavy on his heart. Merely speaking them was tantamount to treason; any soul claimed by the gods, bound to their will—in the eyes of Aeor, their lives were already forfeit.

And when Elatis let him rifle through his personal artifacts, all that was confiscated from his person when they bound him in chains, Bren didn’t miss the shining little trinket of a crescent moon. The prayer to the Moonweaver foolishly scribbled on a bloodstained note.

Another voice cackled, dark and gleeful. An elven archmage stood on the other side of the bars, teeth far sharper than any elf Bren had ever seen. His skin was a sickly pallor, and his eyes were rimmed by heavy circles just as dark and deep as Elatis’.

When Bren looked at him closer, he swore for just a moment the man's eyes turned red.

Culpasi. He had seen the philosopher only in passing, but already loathed his company.

“Oh, don’t you know where they got him?” The elf asked innocently, his smile sharp as a knife. “Some little troupe of traveling performers, in some shithole little town back on Exandria. A happy family of tieflings, putting on plays and nunnery. Quaint and adorable, I’m sure. Well, until someone looked into the caravan, and found out one of the kids was a walking corpse. Parents handed him over to some hag, if you can believe that. And the things they made their other son do, well…let’s just say, he’s far better off in here. Rather lucky we found him, really.”

“He…struggled, the first few years,” Elatis admitted sadly. “Lashed out whenever someone got too close, afraid of our gifts. But we helped him to forget, the poor dear; opened his mind to the Dreams—cleared his troubled head a bit. And he’s been quite docile and tame ever since.”

“Lost all the fight in him when we emptied out his thick skull,” Culpasi said, with a knowing grin that made Caleb’s heart twist.

The way the philosopher looks at him, it’s like he knows, and it makes Bren sick.

There’s this…hollow emptiness, that lives deep inside him, some vital part that was cut out and carved away. Excising the rot, so the rest of the tree can grow—that’s what they told him, when they took it. When he woke with weeks and months and years just gone, all of it slipping away. He doesn’t remember who Bren Aldrich Eremund was before he boarded his first skyship, the boy who lived in the world below. They took it, when they broke him. Reforged his soul in fire and brimstone, dug deep beneath his skin and tore him up from the inside.

Did Bren have a family? A home? Did someone miss him, somewhere far below the sky and stars down there?

Or was he like the tiefling, all alone? Abandoned? Forsaken by family and the gods both.

From within the cage, a soft, mournful cry echoes. Inhuman, but so innately mortal. Anguished. Heartbroken. The kind of hushed, choked back cries that escaped Caleb in the midst of his own night terrors.

Bren had seen his victims beg. Had heard the words, alien and distant, discordant—as if submerged deep beneath dark waters, drifting and drowning and fighting for breath. The rest of the world a distant memory. He hears it, sees it, but he’s choking and gasping, can’t move, can’t breathe, pulled under by the current. He suffocates, and everything burns.

They were traitors, enemies to the Empire, Caleb told himself, chanting the mantra over and over, shutting out the sight of all those fearful eyes and agonized screams. But…if he was ordered to partake in this creature’s torment, to torture this being whose only crime was being born to a wretched fate—

He couldn’t. He couldn’t. It wasn’t right, it wasn’t the same, it wasn’t the enemy, a killer, a poison, a betrayer—

He had a family, Bren thinks, and for some reason, that more than anything breaks him.

In Elatis’ arms, the sleeping tiefling continues to tremble and shake, thrashing in some subconscious attempt to break free of her grasp, twisting and writhing with a plaintive, desperate cry. “Empty,” he chokes out weakly, voice soft and slurred by sleep. He echoes the word again and again, a breathless litany, a hollow chant of shaking breaths. “Empty. Empty. Empty—”

“Shh. Come now, dear. No more of that.”

Elatis runs her hands over a single red Eye, and all at once the tiefling’s shaking body falls still, an eerie, disquieting calm falling over him like a shroud. As another dream claims him, the tiefling smiles faintly, as if finally at peace.

“W-What did you do?” Bren whispers.

Elatis pats the boy’s head fondly. “I merely let him have the Dream his heart desires. You see? Through dreams, even the most haunted soul can heal. It is our blessing, a gift—one that we wish to share with the whole world. Beautiful, isn’t it?”

It’s cruel, Bren thinks. You’ve done nothing but carve out every part of him. You’re toying with him, pulling at his strings just like the Matron. “It certainly seems…useful,” he says, and lets the rest die on his tongue, choking it back like bile.

Elatis’ smile is purely tranquil, beatific. “Whenever you wish, we will always be there to welcome you home. Now, forgive me, but I must attend to other matters before tonight’s ritual. I look forward to working with you, Bren; I can sense you have a wonderful imagination, one I’m sure will create the loveliest dreams. Sleep well.”

She glided down the dark corridor, humming a soft, soothing melody as she disappeared into the dungeons’ depths.

Culpasi made to follow her, but not before getting far too close for Bren’s liking, and resting a deathly cold hand on his shoulder.

“A word of advice, friend,” he said, still smiling bright. “Maybe don’t do anything stupid, alright? I mean, really—letting a wild animal out of its cage? What do you think will happen?”

Before Bren could stammer out that he had no idea what the mage was going on about, the elf turned on his heel, and vanished in a cloud of burning smoke.

As the searing heat and choking taste of ash began to fade, Bren stood alone. There was only the darkness, the cage—and the hollow, empty soul who laid still before him. A sudden impulse seized him, desperate and foolish. Suicidal. What the hell are you thinking, Eremund? What in the world are you doing? He was reaching out to the tiefling before he could stop himself, acting on sheer instinct, compelled by some force more powerful than any charm or curse.

Bren’s hand hovered above him uncertainly, hanging over the tiefling’s shoulder for but a moment. Verdammt. In a snap decision, he shook the tiefling roughly, enough to wake him from the mage’s spell.

“Hey! You—ah, you are, the traveling player, ja? From the little caravan troupe? Do you remember?”

The creature stirred from twisting dreams, tossing and turning as his tail lashed with every shaking breath. Bleary eyes blinked open wide amidst the charm induced haze, peering out fearfully into the darkness, glowing with a feral light. Eyes as red as the brands upon his skin, but…softer. Full of longing.

Though Bren’s words didn’t seem to reach him, there was a waking intelligence in his piercing crimson gaze, the stirring remnants of a soul that had not yet been broken.

“Can…can you hear me?” Bren whispered softly, brushing a stray lock of hair from his face, looking him in the eyes. Bearing a part of his heart he had long since buried. “I…I feel empty too. I know what it is, what they did to you…And I swear, I—I won’t hurt you.”

A flash of fear flickers in those hollow, empty eyes, a brief spark of something in that vacant, glassy stare. You’re in there, somewhere, Bren thinks, latching onto it like a lifeline, seizing that single thread of fading consciousness. Reaches out and pulls until it all unravels.

“You don’t want to die down here, do you?” He whispers, bending down to gaze right into the tiefling’s burning carmine eyes. “You want to live.”

#widomauk #some ancient aeor caleb and molly ive been thinking about #putting in the tags that there are mentions of caleb's truama as a volstrucker and also lucien's childhood #im not sure i got this quite to where i wanted it but i am putting it here for now #i have a lot of feelings about how much molly and caleb mean to each other and how even though so many mages have hurt lucien #there's still one wizard who loves tealeaf and saves him in the end--

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gildalilli · 1 year ago

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I just rewatched the scene where Crow and Zira dance and it finally clicked that they are having two entirely different conversations while they dance. Neither is listening or responding to the other. They have different "exactlys". I knew this in theory but rewatching it and seeing the way they fill in their own blanks is fascinating.

This is how the conversation went to Crowley.

C: "You are playing puppets with the humans, please stop. Making it rain to see if it will make them talk is relatively harmless in terms of their free will, but It is going too far to control them without their consent or knowledge. Additionally, I'm scared for us and we're in immediate danger. Again, please stop being creepy, so we can make a plan together on the next step for gabriel. I need your help and your behaviour is adding to my anxiety."

What he heard in Aziraphale's answers and actions: No thanks im too happy playing god, and you dont know what youre talking about. By the way I kept this skill of being the only angel who is able to dance a complete secret from you for 200 years, betraying your trust just a bit more. I'm also going to stand up for Gabriel because I'm brainwashed by heaven still and don't really care to ask about the abuse he did against you or the murder threat to the person you love most dearly in the world. Your feelings about that don't matter as long as I can do what I want right now.

And this is how the conversation went to Aziraphale.

C: I've been very stressed over everything lately and am venting this to you.

"Don't stress, look: I planned a big romantic date for us as well as the women. Come over here and spend some time with me and maybe you will feel better. See? I love you so much I'd keep hell at bay for us."

I am prejudiced against heaven and dont care what happens to an angel like you in their time of need. I actively wish him harm, despite knowing your feelings, which aren't important to me. I'm also going to ignore all of the effort you are currently putting in.

"I know you're a grumpy, anxiety ridden person but I need you to see what I'm trying to tell you right now. I'm confident in my ability to protect you, as I always have. I love you. Oh I planned this so meticulously and everything is going wrong."

They dont LISTEN because theyre so hellbent on being heard themselves. And it's how instead of achieving a successful, coordinated win like the body swap in s1, we get no satisfying triumph over the odds in s2. No clever plan of action because this same pattern of being unable to work together and failing to listen to the other person has been a problem ever since Armageddon and the body swap itself left them too traumatised to have a functional relationship.

#good omens #crowley #ineffable husbands #aziraphale #meta #and you also have to think these poor sods went straight from armageddon into covid lockdowns

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turnupswritessometimes · 7 months ago

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Geppetto's Boy - Lies of P - Ch7

AO3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/54517777/chapters/138571591

Summary: A collection of oneshots set throughout the game, mostly exploring P and Gepetto’s relationship. (But exploring P’s relationships with most of Hotel Krat too.)

First | Previous | Next

Chapter Seven

Ergo was humans.

Ergo was made from humans.

Ergo was life. Literally. It was human lives.

P killed one of the monsters on his way back to the hotel. Ergo had flown from it. The alchemist had been right, then. This sickness was because of Ergo. The very thing P needed to live had caused the petrification disease. The puppets had been the reason for all of Krat's downfall; their frenzy, and their poisonous Ergo. He was a puppet. He had been part of the reason Krat was in the state it was in.

And yet, as he made his way back to the hotel, he still couldn't believe it. Couldn't believe that the blue, swirling Ergo could also be so terrible. It was beautiful; it was beautiful, and it was what brought him to Sophia. It was what had brought him home - the hotel was his home.

He stopped, on the steps of his home, his hand over his chest. His heart ran on Ergo. When his father opened him up, his face was lit with the soft blue light. How could something so beautiful be so terrible too?

"Hey, pal…" Gemini seemed to hesitate. "You don't think…"

All P was doing was thinking. His mind whirred, round and round. He couldn't stop thinking about his conversation with the Head Alchemist: with Simon Manus. Could he trust him to tell the truth? He supposed he had to: he had as much reason to believe him, as he did believe his father? Things were starting to come together, like fragments of a broken mirror. If he had some patience, he could piece it back together.

Though, he felt a twinge of fear at what it could mean.

"I need to speak to Polendina," P murmured. Because Polendina said his Ego had awakened: Polendina remembered things. It would make a terrible sense with what he had learnt.

"Shouldn't we see Geppetto first?" Gemini asked. "I mean, he'll want to know about this-"

"He might already know. He must already know." P was sure of that, when he said it. His father must know the truth about Ergo; must at least know its effects on humans; he was a clever man. "But he will not tell us the truth."

Gemini's voice was soft, and only half-scolding: "You don't know that."

But P did. He looked up at the hotel, finding the window of his father's room. He knew Geppetto now, and he knew what he would say and do. He knew that he had already hidden so much from P, that he wouldn't think of hiding this. He had gotten P to do exactly what he wanted.

"He does not lie," he said. "But he does not tell the truth, either."

He only told P as much as he needed to know, to keep him obedient. To keep him being a good boy.

Gemini listened. He gave a long, low chirp, his light dimming. "It's up to you. I don't control what you do. I can only give you advice."

P almost smiled. He felt exhausted from the fight, and more exhausted from the revelation, but at least he still had Gemini. He brushed his fingers over the top of the lantern. "Thank you."

Then he noticed there was something very wrong, with Hotel Krat. Noticed, now that Gemini was dimmer, there weren't as many lights coming from the building. The door was open - the door was damaged. From the glimpse he saw inside, he could see the lobby was in a state; the plants overturned and a tile cracked. Something had happened.

He rushed in, drawing his sword. Almost everything had been overturned. The photoframes had been smashed, and glass scattered the floor. The welcome desk was cleaved, woodchips trailing across the cracked marble floors. A chandelier had fallen, over the stairs, making everything darker; making shadows dance across the walls.

"I don’t like this…" Gemini murmured at his side. P didn’t reply. This was unnerving. More unnerving than walking into the Grand Exhibition, knowing it contained monsters. His home had been attacked. Someone had attacked his home.

When he went upstairs, when he found everyone, he learnt the details.

It had been attacked. The hotel had been attacked, and his father had been taken. Kidnapped. Geppetto had been kidnapped, and P had not been there to save him, this time. P hadn't been there. This had happened because of him.

It had all happened because of him.

All the way down to him inviting Allidoro to the hotel. His father had warned him about inviting everyone to the hotel, but P hadn't listened. He hadn't obeyed. He hadn't done what his father said. And because of that, his father had been taken from him. It had been the alchemsits. The alchemists, who were turning people into monsters. What were they going to do to his father?

It scared him, and he still hated being scared.

It wasn't just Alidoro, he thought, as he turned back down the corridor. It had been the fox and the cat. They had said their next job was for the alchemists. They must have known about this. He had trusted them too. He had suspected they were lying, but he'd thought they were good.

It was all P's fault.

He couldn't remember feeling angry, but he was angry, now. Furious. Hot. Not warm, like when he was happy, or proud. This was an itching, raging anger that made him want to fight. P had never wanted to fight like this. This feeling made him want to hit and maim and hurt something. He wanted to let out the burning rage onto something; to destroy something and have the satisfaction of knowing he had done that.

He retreated back to the lobby, becuase he hadn't trusted himself around the others. He didn't want to shout at them. He didn't want to hurt them. He couldn't risk hurting the people he cared about.

P looked at the gramophone in the lobby. The table it sat on was chipped, but the gramophone itself was in tact. He'd spent a long time listening to its records; loved listening the music, and how it skipped and crackled sometimes. But now, he wanted to smash it. Into pieces. It was so delicate, and it would be so beautiful to break it. To use his own hands to destroy such a beautful, delicate thing.

"Clever one."

He turned, to see Sophia there. His anger swirling like a hurricane inside him. He clenched his jaw, so he wouldn't shout at her, because he didn't want to shout at Sophia. He clenched his fists, and kept them clenched at his sides.

Sophia was soft, as soft as she always was. Her blue eyes looked at him, sadly. "I don't believe you've ever felt rage before, have you?"

P couldn't even shake his head. His chest heaved with a burning breath. "I've never wanted to destroy before."

"That's because you are just." Sophia stepped forward, her dress moving gracefully around her. She held out a hand, as if she was going to touch his cheek, but then stopped, as if she was afraid to touch him. "You don't have to destroy, now, darling."

He didn't want her to be afraid - not of him. He didn't want to be angry, anymore. He caught her hand, and tugged it to him, feeling clumsy. Sophia leant closer, unfurling her fingers to cup his cheek.

"How?" How could he stop being furious?

"Take a breath," Sophia said. "Keep breathing, and it will get easier. You can control that anger, and save it for the people you're truly angry at."

P tried to breathe. He wondered how breathing even helped, when he was a puppet. But it did. When he took a long breath, he felt some of the fire die down. It brought him back to himself. He leant into Sophia's touch, his heart racing. He kept breathing, searching her face. Her eyes were like sapphires; were the same deep blue as Ergo.

"Or, you can let it pass," she said. "You can let it wash over you, like a wave."

"I want that." He didn't like anger. Anger didn't make him feel like himself. Anger made him feel like he was going to do something terrible.

"Then you do that, clever one."

Sophia smiled at him. She brushed his hair back, behind his ear, her finger trailing down his jaw. The touch was so gentle compared to the violence he wanted to commit. Was this how the Black Rabbit had felt, when he'd wanted to take P apart? Was this how that donkey-man had felt, on the bridge, when he'd wanted to kill Geppetto? Could he blame either of them, for their feelings?

Being a human, he was finding, was much more difficult than he'd ever thought. There were so many different kinds of pain. There was so much more that he hadn't felt, and didn't know if he could stand feeling.

P nodded. He caught her hand again, and squeezed it gently. He wanted her to be closer. When Sophia was close to him, he felt he could be good; he felt as though he was more than Geppetto's puppet.

"My dearest friend!"

It was Venigni's voice. P turned towards the sound, and he knew Sophia was slipping away. She always did, whenever anyone else was there. He didn't understand it, but thought if he asked, she would hide from him too. Now, he wished she would stay. She always knew what to say to bring him back to himself.

By the time Venigni had made his way down the stairs, P stood alone in the foyer. For once, Venigni looked a mess; his hat gone, hair a mess, coat akimbo. He was panicked; of course he was. They'd been terrified, without him. How could he had let that happen?

"Oh, grazie a Dio!" he said. "When you rushed from the room, I thought...well, I'm glad you've not done anything hasty, compagno."

P shook his head. His hair swayed with the movement.

"Good, good." Venigni brushed his own hair back. His hand shook. "Because, forgive my saying so, you are not prepared to rush off to another battle."

P supposed he wasn't. His legion arm needed tuning up, and now the anger had dulled, he felt pain where he'd been hit in the fight. Not to mention the blood, jamming up his legion arm. Geppetto had always cleaned the blood off him. Had always kept him perfect.

"I'm alright," he lied.

"You may be alright, but my beautiful arm is not." Venigni closed the gap between them. He caught P's wrist before he could pull away, turning it over to examine his palm. P could pull away, if he wanted to - but he didn't. "I cannot allow you to shame me by fighting with this."

"My father always repaired me," P said. He didn't realise it would hurt to say, but it did. His father had always been there.

Venigni stopped, for a moment. He nodded, then. "I am sorry about what happened to Geppetto. But will you allow me to help you?"

P looked at his legion arm. He had never cleaned or fixed it himself. Not anything more than Venigni's repair tool, wich gave it a second lease of life but didn't fix it for good. He didn't know if he could do it himself; his father had never given him the chance.

He nodded.

"Thank you." Venigni did smile. Did look genuine, if still shaken. "Step into my office, if you will."

If P had been in a better mood, he would have smiled. Instead, he nodded, and stepped towards Venigni's space. Pulcinella clunked down the stairs, watching them, almost hesitantly.

Did he have an ego, too, P wondered? Did he also have a human soul within him?

He laid his arm on Venigni's worktable, and he could see it now. Could see the dozens of small repairs that needed to be completed before it would work well again. Could feel, now, that it was an effort to make it work. Now the anger was gone, he felt drained.

Venigni paused, over it. He looked at P, as though he was expecting him to object. P took a deep breath, letting go of the last drags of anger. He nodded, again, setting his jaw.

"I cannot imagine how you must be feeling." Venigni sought for his tools, thumping the bag down on the table. He started work, easing P's fingers into place and taking off the plating.

He didn't want to look. Not this time.

"Geppetto is a good man," Venigni said.

He was the creator. It had been on that recording, from the King of Puppets. From Romeo. Geppetto was the creator, and all the puppets had been obeying Romeo, but also Geppetto. Romeo, it seemed, was also bound by that covenant. His own creator had destroyed him.

He hadn't told Venigni about that. He'd lied, and said he hadn't been able to hear, either.

How far would his father hurt him, if he needed to?

"Ergo is humans," he said, instead. He thought it best that someone else knew.

"Excuse me?" Venigni asked.

P looked at him. "Ergo is human souls. That's why puppets release it when they're destroyed. The monsters too, they release it, when they die."

Ergo and ego didn't sound too different. Pulcinella had paused at the doorway. What was he thinking? It was easier for P to wonder that, than to keep thinking about his father. His father who must have known about the ergo. Who had given P an ergo heart.

What was in P's heart?

"The Head Alchemist is using ergo to create monsters. To evolve humans, he said," P continued.

"That's awful." Venigni paused in his work, to look at him. P stared back. "And now they've taken Geppetto too."

"Because he knows about Ergo." Or because it would draw out P again? He wasn't sure. He knew he was going to get his father back. He was going to be a good son; he was going to be a good boy.

"That is their mistake." Venigni continued his work, and relief shoot through P. He felt his arm fixing. "I have never seen anything you cannot triumph over, bello."

Because P was made to destroy. Designed to destroy. The very arm Venigni was fixing was a weapon. Finally, he felt he could put his weapons to good use.

P didn't answer. He waited, feeling his arm be fixed. He brushed Gemini's lantern with his spare hand, waiting. He wanted to go. He wanted to go now, becuase if he was fighting, he wasn't thinking. If he thought too much, he'd realise what everything meant.

And he didn't want that. Suddenly, surely, he didn't want the puzzle pieces to fall into place.

"Thank you," he said, when Venigni released his arm, declaring it was as good as new. It shone in the gas lamps.

"I know I am not as fine a maker as Geppetto," Venigni began again, pausing longer this time, looking over him. "But there are...other repairs. If you'd permit me, I could..."

He trailed off, gesturing to P's chest. His heart. He had internal repairs that needed seeing to; he felt that too. Felt like he was overheating.

P put his hand over his heart. It was racing. He looked at Venigni. This man had irritated him, often, but this man was a friend. His friend. Looking at him earnestly form behind his glasses.

He trusted him.

P nodded. "Alright."

Venigni blinked, shocked. Then he beamed, like a child in a sweetshop. P couldn't help smiling, a little. He lifted himself, so he sat on the table, pushing back to make himself comfortable. He unbuttoned his coat, and his waistcoat. Pushed open his shirt, and realised he'd never done that before. Had never gotten to do that before, because his Father had always been the one to do it. It was strange, to do it himself; to make a decision.

Venigni's fingers hovered, over his chest plate, pausing.

This feltintimate, P realised. Venigni could break him, if he felt inclined. His life was in this man's hands.

He put his hand on Venigni's wrist, meeting his eyes. Venigni stared back, and nodded.

And Venigni opened him up, and got to work fixing him. P waited, sparks dancing through him, and watched Venigni's expression. It was different to watching his father. Geppetto was impassive, methodical. Venigni's eyebrows twitched, his mouth moved, as he worked.

"You're beautiful," Venigni murmured. "Truly, you are – a masterpiece."

He was a copy. P knew that, now. He was a copy of the little boy in the portrait; a copy of Carlo. But how could he resent his father for doing that, now he had been taken? How could he have been suspicious of him? How could he have been such a bad son, when his father had always been good to him?

P smiled, a little, and let Venigni work. He was grateful for Venigni had made him stop. This gave him time to think. If he'd rushed on, straight away, he worried he might have done something terrible.

He might have killed, without his father telling him to. Might have not felt remorse for hurting humans.

Could he do that?

He might have to do that, now, as he pursued the alchemists.

Venigni closed P's chest. His hand lingered, on his bare skin. He looked up, and P realised they were close. Very close, and Venigni was examining him. His glasses were low on his nose, and his eyes seemed bare without them.

"You are beautiful," he repeated.

P felt warm. This wasn't about his mechanics; it was about his appearance. He didn't want to say that it wasn't his face. It was Carlo's. He put his hand over Venigni's.

"Thank you," P murmured. This made him feel alive; his heart whirring.

Venigni smiled, softly. "May I?"

P wasnt sure what he was asking, but he nodded, all the same.

Venigni reached up, with his spare hand, and tucked P's long hair behind his ear. It was different to how his father touched him; this wasn't maintenence; this was something more. Something closer to Sophia. This was touch.

"Buorna fortuna, my friend."

Venigni pressed his lips against P's cheek. On one side, and then the other. He stepped away, and P felt sparks on his skin. He blinked. Found himself smiling, ducking his chin like he was embarrassed. He was embarrassed. He could feel, even if he shouldn't be able to. He nodded.

Eugenie arrived, then. She brushed her hair back, retying it, adjusting her glasses.

"I am sure your weapons need a buff up too," she said. She looked nervous. "Or perhaps I can improve them before you head out again?"

P nodded, drawing his blade. He held it out on his palms. "Thank you. Both of you."

He had a team. He had friends, who were ready to repair him and his weapons. For once, Eugenie didn't smile, as she looked over his sword. She worked silently, and hard, whilst he paced. Tested his arm.

Noticed the puppet they'd used for sparring was broken, on the floor. Did that puppet have an ego too?

P leant against the door of the hotel, listening to Venigni and Pulcinella's soft voices and the sound of Eugenie tinkering. His friends had calmed the fury inside him.

Now he was ready to save his Father.

P suspected he'd known, before the beach. Long before the beach, though he couldn't say how much longer. Just that he'd known, even before he saw the memories.

He stood, his boots half-buried in the sand, and finally admitted it.

"My Ergo is Carlo."

Gemini didn't chirp. For a moment they stood there, together, the wind whipping P's clothes. Sand buffeted his cheeks.

"Do you remember...being him?" Gemini asked.

"No." P's heart thudded. He wondered if that was Carlo, trying to get out. "No, I only remember parts, but it's like..a book. I remember these things and I know they happened, but it doesn't feel like it happened to me."

He was Carlo. But he wasn't. He had been Carlo, once, and now he had Carlo's Ergo in his heart, yet Carlo hadn't returned. The boy in these memories didn't feel like him.

He stepped forward. The waves washing to the shore sounded very far away.

"My Father knew that."

Gemini paused, again. "Yeah, I think you might be right about that, Pal."

"He built me to replace him."

P knew that. He thought he'd known when he saw the portrait, for the first time. He'd known, but hadn't let himself realise it. Perhaps he'd even known before that. Perhaps, when he was presented with Carlo's old uniform, and Geppetto had looked at him like that, as if he was looking for something inside him. He had Carlo's ergo, he was built to look like Carlo.

And he wasn't.

It explained all of those looks that he didn't understand. Every time it felt like he'd said something wrong. It hadn't been what Carlo would do. He had failed. He wasn't Geppetto's boy. He couldn't be.

"Pal?" He heard Gemini's voice distantly. He hadn't moved, he realised, he still stood on the beach, the wind whipping his hair across his face. His hair. That had been why his father wanted to cut it. P hadn't let him.

"If I had been better, this wouldn't have happened." If he'd been a better replacement for Carlo.

"You don't really believe that, do you?" Gemini's lantern glowed brighter, to get his attention. He looked down at it, blinking. "You didn't kidnap Geppetto. You were doing what he said. Going to the Grand Exhibition."

"He told me not to trust anyone outside the hotel."

"And I'm sure glad you did."

"Carlo wouldn't have." He felt sure of that. Felt sure that Carlo had only trusted Romeo.

"Maybe. But it was trusting people that got you the cure for Lady Antonia. It was trusting people that got Eugenie closure about her family. It was trusting people that helped us get this far, kid."

"Those were all lies."

"And that makes you better than Carlo."

P raised an eyebrow at Gemini. "Maybe Carlo was a good liar."

"You tell me."

P knew. He knew that Carlo was an atrocious liar. "He wasn't."

"See, I can't tell if you're lying or not."

P couldn't help it. He smiled, just a little. That could have been Gemini's plan all along; to lift his spirits. He still felt entirely weighed down, but not quite so terrible – not quite so terrible that he wasn't Carlo.

He took a step. The memories continued around him. He hadn't wanted to be Carlo. He'd known that.

But he did still want to be a son.

He let the memories form around him, let them fill up the gaps in his mind, and understood what Carlo's life had been like. Understood Carlo was gone, now. P may have his Ergo and his memories, but he wasn't Carlo any longer. That boy was gone. Maybe Ergo wasn't quite human souls. Perhaps there was more to what a human soul was.

Perhaps he still carried part of Carlo, but now it nestled alongside something else. Hi owns?

"Gemini." They'd reached the steps of the great, stone building. It loomed so large that it seemed to have become one with the stony, grey sky.

Perhaps he still carried Carlo's soul, but now it nestled alongside something else. His?

"Gemini." They'd reached the steps of the great, stone building. It loomed so large that it seemed to have become one with the stony, grey sky. "Do you think it's possible? To develop a soul?"

Gemini didn't answer straight away. His light flickered.

"You know, pal," he said. "I think anything's possible."

P smiled. He stepped forward.

He didn't know what he was going to do, when he met his father again.

But he did know who he was, now. He wasn't Carlo.

He was P.

#one more chapter #lies of p #pinocchio #lies of p venigni #lies of p sophia #lies of p player character #lies of p p #turnupswrites #fanfiction

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wlwcatalogue · 10 months ago

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Five Days of Yam-Pak Movies ～ Day 4: Xi Shi, The Eternal Beauty // 西施 (dir. Chu Kea / 珠璣, 1960) - starring Yam Kim Fai (任劍輝) and Pak Suet Sin (白雪仙)

Scene outline and more information below!

Outline Based on the folk tales surrounding Xi Shi, one of the Four Great Beauties (四大美女) of China. The Yue Kingdom has been conquered by the warmongering Wu Kingdom, and its king and queen have been taken hostage. In a bid to rescue the monarch and turn the tables, minister Fan Li (Yam Kim Fai) recruits the humble but politically-minded washerwoman Xi Shi (Pak Suet Sin) and trains her up to become the king of Wu’s concubine— in other words, their woman on the inside. Both fall for each other, but love their country too much to call off the mission, so Xi Shi enters the Wu Kingdom’s court as originally planned. And it turns out that she is naturally gifted as a saboteur: drawn in by her beauty and constantly turned around by her cleverness, the king of Wu soon becomes a puppet dancing to the tune of Yue’s liberation… Scene Summary Although Xi Shi is an excellent spy, that’s not to say that she does not face her own share of troubles. She is isolated, having no compatriots apart from another concubine sent with her from Yue Kingdom, and not knowing when she can see her love next; and of course, there is also a very high chance of her dying in the Wu Kingdom even if she succeeds in causing its ruin. In this scene, Xi Shi has spent some time at the Wu court and so is elated to see a visiting Fan Li – however, both are filled with mixed emotions, knowing that their reunion is only temporary and that they cannot allow their feelings to jeopardise the mission.

What’s great about Xi Shi, The Eternal Beauty is that it’s basically a spy movie in a period setting. Sure, Xi Shi is beautiful, but the emphasis is on her being hyper-competent and highly intelligent; even when the king of Wu and his advisors are suspicious of her, she’s able to run circles around them. And despite it being a honey trap, there’s no threat of sexual assault or sexual violence at all! Thanks to the censorship of the 1950’s, the king of Wu is reinterpreted as just someone who really likes watching (non-sexualised) dance performances. It’s a novel take on Xi Shi, as most tellings depict her as being a passive pawn, whether as a helpless woman whose body is exploited in the conflict between Yue and Wu, or as someone who manages to ruin a kingdom purely by dint of being so beautiful that the ruler cannot focus on his duties. Take a look the essay linked below, and marvel at how much better this movie is!

Links:

My post about Yam Kim Fai and Pak Suet Sin being queer icons

An English-language academic essay by HKU professor Olivia Milburn on the depictions on Xi Shi in early Chinese literature

Full movie on Youtube

#hong kong #hong kong film #hong kong movie #hong kong cinema #cantonese opera #chinese opera #yam kim fai #pak suet sin #yampak #yambak #pak sheut sin #bak sheut sin #theatre #my gifs #西施 1960 #xi shi 1960 #xi shi the eternal beauty #xi shi

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idkaguyorsomething · 1 year ago

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Why you should read Darths and Droids:

Are you a fan of Star Wars or tabletop RPGs? Do you wish that the Star Wars movies had a more consistent quality of writing? Have you ever wanted to read a story where Qui-Gon Jinn was a crackhead crazy-as-shit dumbass who orchestrates the most hilariously convoluted terrible plans, Anakin Skywalker was a menacing manipulator who makes the most influential people in the galaxy dance like puppets to his tune, and Jar Jar Binks was a genuinely helpful badass? Well have I got the webcomic for you!

What It’s About: Darths and Droids is a retelling of the Star Wars movies where the story is reframed as an ongoing campaign between a group of friends who keep derailing their poor GM’s plans with their shenanigans. By taking screenshots from the movies and adding different dialogue, it manages to tell a completely different story that weaves in a lot of familiar elements but manages to turn a lot of them completely on their head. The story of the various player’s lives outside of the game and the drama they experience is also added into the narrative, creating two different layers of story that are both interesting in different ways and allows for humor and heart to be integrated with intrigue and adventure.

Why You Should Read It: This comic has some seriously clever writing, you guys. It starts out as a simple parody of a lot of the goofier elements of Star Wars, but as it goes on it whips out some quite impressive Chekhov’s Guns, deconstructs various themes and elements of the Star Wars universe thoroughly, and offers rich new storylines in its place. What it means to balance the Light and Dark when there is a prophecy fortelling one who will even its scales, for example, as well as exploring cool concepts that the movies never quite took advantage of, like the existence of shapeshifters, clones, and the ability to upload one’s consciousness into other vessels. Framing it as a tabletop game also does wonders for clearing up plot holes, and the script is so tight that you’d have a hard time picking out any continuity errors if you tried. Rereads and attention to detail is incredibly rewarding, as you get to see a huge amount of setup pay off, and it’s really nice to see the players grow up and watch their lives change over the course of several years. Also, for the visually impaired, each episode comes with a handy transcript that makes it easily accessible, as well as some nice food for thought from the writers about game design.

Why You Might Want To Avoid: First and foremost, this is a long comic. It’s been updating three times a week for nearly two decades, and at a glance the archives reveals it to be quite a binge (though there are a couple of recorded play versions of the first arc that might take you less time to get through). Some arcs can also drag significantly more than others, since the better Star Wars movies tend to provide less material for satire or plot holes to cover, though they still contain some pretty juicy drama and entertaining jokes. However, if you’re here for the characters from Star Wars that you know and love, you will not find them here. This is a game played between a group of friends, and the versions of every character they encounter are very different from canon. Not to mention that, if you’re unfamiliar with tabletop RPGs, then a lot of the jokes and references will probably confuse you, though the writer’s commentary does a good job of explaining everything to the uninitiated. Still, it was a pretty influential comic back in the day for a reason. It really elevated a lot of the ideas another webcomic with a similar concept, DM of the Rings, first came up with, and by extension, a lot of the ideas in Star Wars.

TL;DR Darths and Droids is a fantastic cleverly written webcomic that combines tabletop gaming and Star Wars to excellent effect and manages to tell a funny, memorable story with tight action, knotty intrigue, and witty plotting. It’s super bingeable and you’ll never be able to look at Star Wars the same way after reading it.

#star wars #fic rec #star wars fic #webcomic #ttrpg #tabletop rpg #darths and droids #dang there’s no tag for that #cowabummer #go check it out it’s great

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freeaustinbutler · 1 year ago

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AUSTIN AT THE CONCERT

What’s this the image of Austin looking bored, legs crossed, while kaia drapes her body all over him?

Austin body language screams reluctant participant, rather than a party enthusiast. He did NOT want to be there. He is not holding her in that image. This is a CONCERT. Austin looks like he’s at an elderly home. For those who keep saying Austin wore a mask so he wouldn’t get noticed: IT IS MORE NOTICEABLE TO WEAR A MASK IN A HUGE PUBLIC PLACE WHERE NO ONE ELSE IS WEARING ONE! Also, I just want to point out, Austin is in a VIP area with Oscar winner, and friend of the Gerber’s: Laura Dern!! He won’t be bothered by ANY FANS!! So that argument is useless!

What the deal with the footage in the room?

I wanna HUG the person who recored that! Austin is fully UNAWARE there is a camera in the room. Kaia on the other hand, is fully aware! she, the puppeteer of their PR narrative, orchestrating a show he appears reluctant to perform. The noticeable absence of his hand in hers is a powerful revelation, a small yet significant detail hinting at a concealed imbalance of control. As the camera captures this unguarded moment, the veiled intricacies of their relationship begin to unravel. He just hates holding her.

a moment of escape presents itself—one that reveals a cunning maneuver within the confines of a PR-driven relationship. Amidst the orchestrated scenes, he uses a distraction, and with lightning speed:-without hesitation, Austin springs into action, capitalizing on the unexpected run in with the man. In an instant, he shifts his focus, engaging with him and creating a captivating moment that diverts the spotlight from kaia. It's a calculated split-second decision, a skillful maneuver designed to extricate himself from the meticulously crafted gerber. He seizes the opportunity, using the unsuspecting individual as an instant diversion from the scripted entanglement. Austin prolongs the hug with that person as a means to get away from kaia. Let’s be real, we all know if he bumped into that guy in the street, the hug would not have lasted that long.

Merely EIGHT SECONDS into the video, Kaia’s desperation becomes palpable as she fervently seeks her turn, her hand impatiently raised, a stark contrast to Austin's genuine connection with the man. The desperation in Kaia’s body language is distasteful.

At the 12-second mark in the video, a strategic shift emerges – Austin adeptly employs his body as a barrier, subtly swaying to obstruct Kaia's spotlight-stealing attempts. His deliberate movements create a visual boundary, ensuring his mini-reunion remains untarnished by her overshadowing ambitions.

At 14 seconds, something intriguing happens. Austin is clearly avoiding kaia, doing his best to keep interactions with her to a minimum. On the other hand, kaia is trying really hard to show off that they're together, but Austin seems like he's ignoring her, almost as if she's not even there.

At the 18-second mark, things get even more intriguing. Austin pulls off a clever move, using another woman as a distraction. He introduces this random lady to the man he hugged earlier. Then, when kaia goes in for a hug with the man, any boyfriend would have reveled in the moment, right? But no, Austin walks AWAY and behaves as though kaia isn't even there. It's like a dance - she moves forward, and he takes a step back every time, creating a noticeable gap between them. IT IS RIGHT IN YOUR FACE PEOPLE!!!!

Finally the ICING on the poisonous cake, as we hit the 21-second mark, a pivotal moment occurs. Kaia accidentally bumps into Austin, her supposed boyfriend, but his reaction is far from what one might expect. He plays it cool, as if he doesn't recognize her at all. The intrigue deepens when he intentionally switches his bag, a calculated move to avoid holding her hand. It's like he's employing yet another tactic to keep a distance between them. WAKE UP! This is a PR relationship. As mentioned, I have run this account for a long time. I’ve see this play out with MANY celebs!

Have an epic week! See you in the next article!

#austin butler #taylor swift #the eras tour #taylor swift eras #elvis presley #kaia gerber

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horsechestnut · 1 year ago

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Ranking the 2023 Tony Awards Preformances

1- Sweeney Todd: Holy shit. Just wow. The fog, the atmosphere, the choice to do a group number, the incredible jerky choreography, Josh Groban’s entrance. 100 out of 10, no notes.

2- Shucked: Not my favorite musical, but I’ll give it to them, this was a good group number and a clever medley. Alex Newell’s part felt a little out of place, but I’ll forgive it because god can they sing.

3- Parade: A duet done right! The staging and acting were both engaging enough to keep my attention, and the singing was incredible. Actually made me interested enough to go listen to the rest of the musical, which should always be the goal of a Tony performance.

4- Kimberly Akimbo: Very cute! I do wish they’d done a group number, but I also love “Anagram” so I wasn’t to upset. Also shout out to the ensemble members who got to sit on stage and play Uno for the whole performance.

5- Some Like it Hot: High energy and lots of fun. Gave all the main characters at least a few lines to sing, and I’m never going to say no to watching a fun tap number.

6- Camelot: A good attempt, but they couldn’t quite nail it. I get it, none of Camelot’s iconic songs are group numbers, but I think they would have been better served by trying to do a group number anyway and maybe shifting into Camelot right at the end. Still, I liked all the parts individually, they just didn’t flow together well.

7- &Juliet: This was fine. There was some really cool dancing, and it was fun, but ultimately it felt more like I was watching a concert than the Tonys, and honestly “Eye of the Tiger” is not a song I ever need to hear again...

8- New York, New York: Started strong, loved the energy, but was starting to drag by the end. Also I don’t know what was up, but the first guy’s accent was... off. I only realized it was supposed to be Irish about ten seconds before he stopped singing and it was really distracting.

9- Into the Woods: Just... why did you pick this song? If Parade was how to do a duet well, this is how not to. It was basically just two actors singing at each other and occasionally walking around for three minutes. Made even worse by the fact that Into the Woods has good group numbers! Shout out to the Milky White puppeteer though, best part of the performance.

10- Funny Girl: Even ignoring the drama with this show, this was such a dumb choice. Anyone who was going to go see Funny Girl for Lea Michelle was already going to go and we’ve seen her sing this song so many times before. This is your chance to advertise, show us something we haven’t seen before! Also it just feels rude to the ensemble to not let them do anything when most of them have probably been with the show longer than Lea Michelle has.

11- A Beautiful Noise: This was just a guy singing a song. This barely even counts. Even the audience seemed bored.

#2023 tony awards #76th annual tony awards #tony awards #sweeney todd 2023 #shucked #parade 2023 #kimberly akimbo #yes i'm aware i'm a week late #i just got the chance to watch

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marketingprofitmedia · 1 year ago

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Case Study: How I Made $8000 in 6 Months with CPA Marketing

In the world of digital marketing, If you’re itching to learn how to fill your coffers with crisp dollar bills, then you’re in the right place. Today, I’m going to spill the beans on how I managed to rake in a jaw-dropping sum of $X in just X months, all thanks to the captivating realm of CPA marketing. So grab a seat, buckle up, and get ready for a wild ride!

Now, before we delve into the nitty-gritty details, let me quickly shed some light on what CPA marketing is all about. CPA, or Cost Per Action, is a delightful little gem in the vast landscape of digital marketing. It’s like the genie in a bottle that grants you riches whenever someone takes a specific action, be it filling out a form, signing up for a newsletter, or even purchasing a product. Think of it as a symbiotic relationship between advertisers and affiliates, where the advertisers gain new customers, and the affiliates, well, they get to savor the sweet taste of victory (and, of course, cold, hard cash).

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Now, I must warn you, my friend, that this journey wasn’t all sunshine and rainbows. It involved sleepless nights, countless cups of coffee, and a fair share of trial and error. But fear not! I’ve survived the treacherous path, and I’m here to share the valuable insights and lessons I’ve learned along the way. Consider me your friendly guide through the mysterious maze of CPA marketing, sprinkled with a dash of humor to keep things lively.

So, if you’re ready to embark on an adventure that could potentially change your financial destiny, stick around. In the following paragraphs, I’ll be peeling back the curtain and revealing the strategies, tactics, and surprising discoveries that enabled me to achieve that magical $X milestone. Get ready to have your mind blown and your pockets filled!

Remember, success awaits those who dare to take action. So, buckle up, my friend, and let’s dive into the wild world of CPA marketing together!

Overview of CPA Marketing:

Now that you’re strapped in and ready to explore the exhilarating world of CPA marketing, let’s take a closer look at this captivating domain. Picture yourself as a cunning digital entrepreneur, armed with strategies that can make money rain from the digital heavens. That’s exactly what CPA marketing has in store for you!

So, what exactly is CPA marketing? CPA, my friend, stands for Cost Per Action. It’s a clever marketing model that rewards you when people take a specific action, whether it’s signing up for a trial, completing a survey, or even purchasing a product. It’s like being the conductor of a profitable symphony, where you earn a commission every time your audience dances to the tune of an advertiser’s desired action.

The beauty of CPA marketing lies in its simplicity and flexibility. As an affiliate marketer, you become the bridge between advertisers and potential customers. You don’t need to sell products or manage inventory like a traditional retailer. Instead, your focus is on driving targeted traffic to the advertisers’ offers and getting people to perform those desired actions. It’s like being the puppeteer of digital marketing, pulling the strings and reaping the rewards.

Now, before you start picturing yourself lounging on a tropical beach, sipping margaritas while your bank account magically multiplies, it’s important to understand the nuances of CPA marketing. While it may seem like a path paved with gold, it does come with its own set of challenges.

One of the challenges you might encounter is finding the right CPA offers that resonate with your target audience. Different offers have different conversion rates and commission structures, so it’s crucial to choose wisely. You’ll need to conduct thorough research and testing to identify the offers that not only align with your niche but also have the potential to convert into lucrative payouts.

Furthermore, promoting CPA offers requires strategic thinking and resourceful tactics. You can leverage various marketing channels like paid advertising, search engine optimization, social media, or even email marketing to drive traffic and entice your audience to take action. It’s a game of constant experimentation and optimization, where you’ll need to keep a keen eye on the data and adjust your strategies accordingly.

But fear not, my adventurous comrade! With the right mindset, determination, and a touch of creativity, you can conquer the CPA marketing realm. In the upcoming chapters, we’ll dive into the captivating case study that brought me $X in just X months, unraveling the secrets and strategies that propelled me towards triumph.

So, hang tight and get ready to unlock the vault of knowledge and wit that will guide you through the exhilarating world of CPA marketing. Together, we’ll navigate the treacherous waters, sidestep the pitfalls, and carve a path towards financial success.

Case Study: Setting the Stage

In the world of business, a well-executed strategy often hinges on the ability to set the stage for success. Whether it’s launching a new product, entering a new market, or implementing organizational changes, setting the stage involves carefully planning and preparing the groundwork for the desired outcomes. This case study delves into the critical role of setting the stage in achieving business objectives and highlights key strategies and considerations.

Defining the Objective:

Before setting the stage, it is crucial to define the objective clearly. Whether it’s increasing market share, improving operational efficiency, or driving innovation, a well-defined objective serves as a compass that guides the entire process. By clearly articulating the desired outcome, organizations can align their efforts and resources effectively.

Understanding the Current Landscape:

To set the stage successfully, it is essential to have a comprehensive understanding of the current landscape. This includes analyzing internal and external factors that could impact the objective. Internal factors may involve assessing the organization’s strengths, weaknesses, and resources, while external factors may include market trends, competitor analysis, and regulatory considerations. By gaining a holistic view of the landscape, organizations can identify potential opportunities and challenges, allowing them to develop informed strategies.

Developing a Strategy:

Once the objective and landscape are understood, organizations can develop a strategy that sets the stage for success. This involves formulating a roadmap that outlines the steps, resources, and timelines required to achieve the desired outcome. The strategy should take into account the organization’s unique capabilities and align with its long-term vision. Additionally, it should anticipate potential obstacles and incorporate contingency plans to mitigate risks.

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Engaging Stakeholders:

Setting the stage effectively requires engaging stakeholders at various levels. This includes employees, customers, suppliers, investors, and regulatory bodies. By involving stakeholders in the process, organizations can gain valuable insights, foster buy-in, and build a collaborative environment. Engaging stakeholders also helps in managing expectations, addressing concerns, and garnering support, thus increasing the likelihood of success.

Building the Necessary Infrastructure:

To set the stage for success, organizations must build the necessary infrastructure to support the desired outcomes. This may involve investing in technology, upgrading systems, or developing new capabilities. For example, if the objective is to expand into a new market, organizations may need to establish distribution channels, adapt their marketing strategies, or hire local talent. By ensuring that the infrastructure aligns with the objective, organizations can create a solid foundation for future growth.

Implementing and Monitoring Progress:

Once the stage is set, it is time to implement the strategy and closely monitor progress. This involves executing the planned initiatives, tracking key performance indicators, and making adjustments as necessary. Regular monitoring allows organizations to identify early signs of success or potential roadblocks, enabling them to take timely action. By maintaining a feedback loop and continuously evaluating performance, organizations can optimize their strategies and ensure they stay on track towards achieving their objectives.

Implementation and Results:

Implementing a well-designed plan is crucial for achieving successful outcomes in any endeavor, be it a scientific experiment, a business strategy, or a software development project. The process of implementation involves translating ideas, theories, or strategies into practical actions, with the ultimate goal of producing tangible results. This article explores the significance of effective implementation and highlights the importance of evaluating and analyzing the results obtained.

When it comes to implementing a project or initiative, careful planning is the foundation for success. A comprehensive implementation plan outlines the necessary steps, assigns responsibilities, sets timelines, and allocates resources. By providing a clear roadmap, it ensures that everyone involved understands the objectives and their respective roles, minimizing confusion and maximizing efficiency.

An essential aspect of successful implementation is the effective execution of the plan. This requires a proactive approach, with regular communication, coordination, and collaboration among team members. Clear channels of communication facilitate the sharing of information, addressing challenges, and making necessary adjustments along the way. A collaborative environment promotes synergy, harnessing the collective intelligence and expertise of the team to drive progress.

The implementation phase also involves managing risks and overcoming obstacles. Unexpected hurdles are bound to arise, and adaptability becomes crucial in such situations. Agile methodologies have gained popularity for their emphasis on flexibility, allowing teams to respond promptly to changes and refine their approach as needed. By anticipating potential roadblocks and having contingency plans in place, implementation efforts can stay on track, minimizing disruptions and ensuring smooth progress.

Once the implementation phase is complete, the focus shifts to evaluating and analyzing the results achieved. This step is critical as it provides insights into the effectiveness of the implemented plan and helps identify areas for improvement. Evaluation involves measuring key performance indicators, comparing actual outcomes against predetermined targets, and assessing the overall impact of the project.

Analyzing the results obtained allows for a comprehensive understanding of what worked well and what could be enhanced in future endeavors. It helps in identifying strengths and weaknesses, learning from past experiences, and refining strategies for future implementations. Furthermore, analyzing results enables organizations to showcase the value and impact of their efforts, providing evidence for decision-making, resource allocation, and garnering support from stakeholders.

In today’s data-driven world, the availability of tools and technologies for data analysis has revolutionized the way implementation results are assessed. Advanced analytics techniques, such as data mining, machine learning, and predictive modeling, offer valuable insights into complex datasets, enabling organizations to uncover patterns, trends, and correlations. This empowers decision-makers to make informed choices and steer future implementations toward even greater success.

In conclusion, effective implementation is a crucial step in achieving desired outcomes. It requires meticulous planning, proactive execution, and adaptability to overcome obstacles. Evaluating and analyzing the results obtained allows for continuous improvement and informs decision-making for future endeavors. By embracing a comprehensive approach that combines clear communication, collaborative efforts, and data-driven analysis, organizations can optimize their implementation processes and maximize the chances of achieving exceptional results.

Lessons Learned and Tips for Success:

My aspiring adventurers in the realm of CPA marketing, gather around and lend me your ears. For I have traversed the treacherous paths, faced countless challenges, and emerged with battle scars and hard-earned wisdom. Now, I stand before you, ready to share the lessons I’ve learned and the invaluable tips that will guide you towards your own triumphs.

Lesson 1: Embrace the Power of Testing and Optimization

In this dynamic digital landscape, one size certainly does not fit all. Each campaign, each offer, and each audience requires a unique touch. Embrace the art of testing and optimization to unlock the true potential of your CPA marketing endeavors. Experiment with different ad variations, landing page designs, and marketing channels. Test different audiences, keywords, and messaging strategies. Track, analyze, and adapt. It’s through this process of refinement that you uncover the golden nuggets — the winning combinations that will propel your success.

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Lesson 2: Stay Abreast of Industry Trends and Changes

The digital marketing landscape is a restless beast, ever-evolving and never stagnant. To thrive in this realm, you must stay ahead of the curve. Keep a keen eye on industry trends, algorithm changes, and emerging technologies. Attend conferences, join online communities, and engage with fellow marketers. Adaptability and agility are your allies in this ever-changing world. By staying informed and embracing new opportunities, you can gain a competitive edge and ride the waves of success.

Lesson 3: Build Strong Relationships with Advertisers and Networks

In the captivating realm of CPA marketing, fostering strong relationships is the key to unlocking new doors of opportunity. Cultivate partnerships with reputable advertisers and networks. Establish open lines of communication, seek guidance, and stay informed about new offers and promotions. By building trust and rapport, you gain access to exclusive deals, higher payouts, and insider knowledge. Remember, the path to success is often paved with strong connections and collaborative efforts.

Lesson 4: Harness the Power of Data and Analytics

A treasure trove of insights waiting to be discovered. Embrace the power of data and analytics to make informed decisions. Dive deep into the numbers, uncover patterns, and identify areas for improvement. Leverage tracking tools, analytics platforms, and performance metrics to monitor the success of your campaigns. With data as your guiding light, you can steer your efforts towards greater profitability and optimize your strategies for maximum impact.

Lesson 5: Persistence and Adaptability are the Keys to Success

Dear reader, one of the most vital lessons I’ve learned on this daring journey is the importance of persistence and adaptability. Success rarely comes overnight; it’s a result of relentless effort, tenacity, and the willingness to adapt to changing circumstances. Embrace failures as learning opportunities, pivot when necessary, and never lose sight of your ultimate goal. The path may be winding, filled with obstacles and unforeseen twists, but with unwavering determination, you can overcome any challenge that comes your way.

So, my brave companions, armed with these hard-earned lessons, venture forth into the thrilling world of CPA marketing. Embrace the power of testing, stay ahead of industry trends, forge strong relationships, harness the power of data, and above all, remain persistent and adaptable. May these nuggets of wisdom pave your path to prosperity and guide you towards your own tales of success.

In our final chapter, I’ll bid you farewell with a final dose of encouragement and a reminder that your journey has only just begun. The world of CPA marketing awaits your bold strides and audacious dreams. Go forth, my fellow adventurers, and claim your place among the stars!

Conclusion

We come to the end of this exhilarating journey. We’ve traversed the highs and lows, explored the depths of strategy and implementation, and uncovered the secrets that propelled me towards triumph. As we bid farewell, let us take a moment to reflect on the adventure that unfolded and the possibilities that lie ahead.

Throughout this case study, we’ve delved into the captivating world of CPA marketing, unlocking its potential and unraveling its intricacies. We began with an overview of this dynamic marketing model, understanding its essence as a bridge between advertisers and desired actions. We set the stage, carefully planning our moves and aligning our strategies with the aspirations of our target audience. Through meticulous implementation, we witnessed the magic of CPA marketing come alive, as campaigns unfolded, conversions flowed, and revenue soared.

But this journey was not without its fair share of challenges and setbacks. We encountered obstacles, faced rejections, and experienced campaigns that fell short of expectations. Yet, through perseverance, adaptability, and a touch of audacity, we emerged stronger, armed with valuable lessons and battle-tested strategies.

From the importance of testing and optimization to staying abreast of industry trends, we learned the nuances of this ever-evolving landscape. We emphasized the value of building strong relationships with advertisers and networks, harnessing the power of data and analytics, and above all, embracing persistence and adaptability as the keys to success.

As we part ways, my adventurous comrades, I encourage you to embark on your own journeys into the realm of CPA marketing. Take the lessons we’ve learned together, the tips we’ve uncovered, and let them guide you towards your own tales of triumph. Remember, each path is unique, and success may come in unexpected forms. Be bold, be creative, and most importantly, be persistent in the pursuit of your dreams.

And so, with a final farewell, I leave you with this: the world of CPA marketing holds endless possibilities, waiting for courageous souls like you to step forward and claim their place among the stars. Embrace the challenges, relish the victories, and never lose sight of the audacious dreams that set you on this path.

As you venture forth, may the wit, humor, and informative style that have accompanied us on this journey continue to guide you towards new horizons. Remember, my friend, this is just the beginning of an extraordinary adventure. The case study shared here is but a glimpse of the vast realm of opportunities that await you.

With a heart brimming with hope and a mind teeming with strategies, go forth and create your own case study — one that will inspire others, shape your own destiny, and leave an indelible mark on the captivating world of CPA marketing.

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princesssarisa · 2 years ago

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Character ask: Geppetto & Jiminy Cricket (Pinocchio)

I was hoping someone would ask me about these two! I actually rewatched the movie the other night so I could properly answer the asks I got for Pinocchio himself and Honest John.

These answers apply to Disney's classic animated versions of the characters only.

Geppetto

Favorite thing about them: His warmth, sweetness, and devotion as a father, the clever artistry of his wooden creations, and the humor of his absent-mindedness. He's an all-around lovable character.

Least favorite thing about them: The way he teases Figaro with the inanimate Pinocchio near the beginning, including making the puppet kick him. Also, the fact that his voice actor Christian Rub was a Nazi sympathizer, although I try not to think about that while watching the movie.

Three things I have in common with them:

*I enjoy creating art (although I'm a writer, not a woodcarver).

*I can be absent-minded.

*I like animals.

Three things I don't have in common with them:

*I'm not an old man.

*I'm not Italian.

*I don't know the first thing about building a marionette.

Favorite line:

His sleepy response to Pinocchio's "It's me!" when he wakes up and asks who's there:

"Oh, it's me... Huh?!"

And this heartwarming line after he first sees Pinocchio's donkey ears and tail:

"Oh, never mind now. Old Geppetto has his little wooden head. Nothing else matters."

brOTP: Pinocchio and his pets.

OTP: Safety and happiness.

nOTP: Pinocchio.

Random headcanon: He's of Jewish descent. Probably not fully, and not practicing, but he has at least a little ancestry. I say this because as he hums "Little Wooden Head" while painting Pinocchio at the beginning, the syllables he sings include "dai dai dai" – typical of Yiddish folk song. Also, the idea is a gratifying face-smack to the memory of Christian Rub.

Unpopular opinion: I don't know how unpopular this is, but it's against the current adaptational trend, at any rate: I don't think it improves his character to give him a dead son whose memory inspires him to carve Pinocchio, as both Disney's live-action remake and the upcoming Guillermo del Toro version do. It's an interesting idea, but there's nothing wrong with his simply having never married or had any children. Plenty of people in the world long to have children but unfortunately reach old age without having any.

Song I associate with them: "Little Wooden Head"

youtube

Favorite picture of them:

Jiminy Cricket

Favorite thing about them: Nearly everything about him is endearing: his cute appearance, his distinctive folksy voice and Midland accent (courtesy of the talented Cliff Edwards, animation's first celebrity voice actor), his friendly, happy-go-lucky personality, his funny wisecracks, his singing and dancing, and his warmth as both a "conscience" and a friend. It's no wonder that he's one of Disney's most iconic characters and has so often served as a host of specials, sing-alongs, etc. beyond Pinocchio. I also like that he isn't just a mentor to Pinocchio, but has a character arc of his own, as he learns to be a faithful friend even when the going gets tough and to believe that wishes can come true. In him, the creative team took a character who could easily have been preachy and annoying, and instead made him a lovable cultural icon.

Least favorite thing about them: The fact that he leaves Pinocchio twice after the latter ignores his advice, first after Stromboli's show and again on Pleasure Island. But of course this is part of his personal growth, as he realizes his mistake and goes back, and by the end becomes so loyal that he even demands that Monstro the Whale open his teeth to let him in after Pinocchio is swallowed.

Three things I have in common with them:

*I have a strong sense of morality.

*I like to sing and dance.

*I get along well with children.

Three things I don't have in common:

*I'm not flirty with the opposite sex.

*I don't think playing pool is immoral (although I do disapprove of children smoking).

*I'm not an insect.

Favorite line:

To Pinocchio, about Honest John:

"Remember what I said about temptation? Well, that's him!"

After Pinocchio becomes the star of Stromboli's show:

"Well, guess he won't need me anymore. What does an actor want with a conscience anyway?"

When he joins Pinocchio in calling for Geppetto under the sea:

"Father! (to himself) Huh? He ain't my father! (calling again) Mr. Geppetto!"

To Monstro:

"Hey, blubber mouth, open up! I gotta get in there!"

His casual "Gesundheit!" in response to Monstro's monstrous sneeze.

And of course, the lyrics to "When You Wish Upon a Star."

brOTP: Pinocchio.

OTP: Any girl who wants him – he's certainly ready and willing – but preferably a girl cricket.

nOTP: Pinocchio, or any human.

Random headcanon: In the movie's main storyline, if not in the framing scene with the book, he's a very young cricket, no older than his early 20s in human years. This explains why he sometimes has a childlike mindset (e.g. not telling Geppetto that Pinocchio went off to join Stromboli's show because "that would be snitching") and why he has his own growth to achieve as well as guiding Pinocchio's.

Unpopular opinion: I don't mind the fact that he looks like "a little green man with no ears," without any real cricket-like features. He's convincing enough as a cricket in the stylized world of animation.

Song I associate with them:

"Give a Little Whistle"

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And of course...

youtube

Favorite picture of them:

@ariel-seagull-wings, @superkingofpriderock, @the-blue-fairie, @themousefromfantasyland

#character ask #disney #pinocchio #1940 #geppetto #jiminy cricket #ask game #fictional characters #animated film

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taiblogcomics · 2 years ago

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Little Book Shop of HorrorLands

Hey there, bootleg Foo Fighters albums. Well, if it wasn't evident by the previous update, it's that time of year. It's the spooky month! And since we got a nice three weeks left, and a gap in our schedule, I have the perfect thing to slot in~

Hey did you know there were Goosebumps comic books~?

Here's the cover:

Ah, it's a metaphor. The series has more and more been a lifeless puppet dancing on strings pulled by Slappy. Did you know he's gotten his own series in the meantime since we last reviewed a book? That's scary for all kinds of reasons, none of them the author's intent. But now this series! This started up in late 2017, so the movie was already two years old by then, and the sequel won’t come out for another year. Fantastic timing all around, I guess!

So, rather than an ongoing, this series is divided into a number of small mini-series. I'm gonna count them all as one series for reviewing purposes, but technically this is merely Goosebumps: Monsters at Midnight #1. Anyways, this is definitely a first cover that tells you exactly what you're getting into. I also like the nods to other Goosebumps titles in the shop window, that's the kind of small reference I appreciate~

Speaking of references like that, kind of expect a lot of them going into this. You know exactly the sort of series this is. The comic literally opens with our main character, Mia, sighing that she should be at Camp Jellyjam right now. I'd keep a running counter of these, but it might get astronomical by the end, especially for this arc. Anyways, Mia's got an injured leg and an annoying little sister, so she's missing out on camp and not having the best summer even besides that. And Grandma won't take her go-karting or even to the candy store. Kind of a lame excuse for a grandma, then.

The trio of them pass by an old-looking bookstore, as depicted on the cover. "Cursed Editions" is at least a pretty clever store name, although I dunno if broadcasting that your merchandise is in league with the devil is the best business strategy. A cat in the window scares the younger sister, Ginny, who is kind of a nerd by the way, to contrast her athletic older sister. To demonstrate this, she calls the cat a "familiar" because it's one of her vocabulary words. She also has glasses and allergies and asthma, and so Grandma vetoes the bookstore as well, because Grandma is the least fun grandma in the history of fiction.

Further falling into her no-fun demeanor, Grandma falls asleep in front of the television while the kids are at home that night. And Ginny may be a nerd, but she's clearly the most adventurous of the lot, since she proposes to her older sister that they go out and check out that bookstore, which she remembers noting is open until midnight. Oop, she's back to nerd again. Her sister protests, since Ginny is literally hooked up to a CPAP machine right now, but Ginny offers the ultimate sibling persuasion point: she'll do Mia's chores for two weeks. Mia agrees, and the gals set out.

After a brief stop on the way due to asthma, they arrive back at Cursed Editions. Ginny's looking for a specific book she left at home when they came to visit Grandma, and figures it's scary enough that they'll have it here. Sure, but then you have two copies of the book when you get home, and what will you do then? The shopkeeper is pretty crabby at being interrupted when they walk in, but also mentions some aside of "He'll be glad you showed up" that neither girl notices in their hurry to apologise and get out of the clerk's rather wild hair.

The pair quickly get lost among the stacks and shelves, and I kind of get wistful and nostalgic for bookstores myself. I don't think I've been to one since pre-pandemic. But no bookstore I've been to had a section labelled "Sdrawkcab Skoob", and Ginny even starts speaking backwards once she pulls one off the shelf. Oh, Zatanna might find this section useful, at least. Also on the shelves nearby is the Necronomicon Ex Mortis, and a hardcover copy of The Werewolf of Fever Swamp with hair poking out of the pages. That's not what they mean by a hair-raising tale~

Mia brushes some dust off the shelf, which agitates Ginny's asthma and shakes her out of the backward-talking. She gets kind of pissed at Mia for this and storms off, and Mia has difficulty following her on her crutches. Ginny finds a mysterious voice and glowing pair of eyes in a darkened room, beckoning her to come into the room, where all the endings she could dream of are waiting. This is a really ominous thing to say, but Ginny's a little kid and is really set on finding that one book she's after. Mia turns up just in time to see Ginny cross the doorway and into the darkness.

Mia follows her sister as quickly as she can manage, and the pair of them turn around to see they're no longer in Kansas anymore, Toto. In fact, as a furry pink monster and elaborately painted sign both inform them, they're in HorrorLand! Oh boy, here we go. After reviewing two dozen or so odd books set in or around HorrorLand, I'm a little ambivalent towards it at this point. Like, I like the idea of a haunted amusement park as a setting. But like every Goosebumps thing, their good ideas are then surrouned by 20 dumb ones that drag it down. As we're about to see~

The girls scream in terror, since a furry pink monster with a gorilla-like posture is clearly in front of them. The monster, whose name is Irk, is first baffled and then delighted she elicted a scream from their throats. However, the shock of meeting a monster soon wears thin, especially when she's bright pink and the size of a lemur. She also gets pissed when Ginny comments that she smells funny--not because of the comment, but that she said she's funny, not scary. But if you want something really scary, the comic ends with Slappy appearing to welcome them.

I won’t say too much here, probably better to leave my thoughts on the full story when we see it all together. But this a pretty good start to the story, with your pretty typical Goosebumps setup: kids visiting a relative, one is an annoying younger sibling, something weird or mysterious or annoying shows up, the thing ends on a cliffhanger... Next week, we’ll likely see how our protagonists deal with true horror: Slappy’s sense of humour~

#comics #reviews #Goosebumps #Goosebumps: Monsters at Midnight #Taiblog #Slappy

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nkatr84 · 2 years ago

Text

Okay Internet we need to talk…

Thanks to Disney + day I caught up with two movies that for some reason people are hating on. First up…

Thor Love and Thunder

I understand that some people wanted a more serious tone. Part of me does agree that the humor was a bit on overdrive. Especially in the first act. Some people felt the movie was a bit too fast paced. (Personally I think just the first part with the Guardians of the Galaxy was the only rushed bit because Taiki Watiki wanted them out of the movie. After they left the story flowed more.) But for a movie that tackled a genocidal villain driven mad by revenge, a character LITERALLY DYING OF CANCER and Thor finally finding himself while making peace with lost and death AND subtext pointing out the hypocrisy in religions that don’t help people or show love I think they did a pretty good job! Seriously the last act of the movie while Jane was dying I was close to tears! I get why some people might not get into it but don’t just accuse a movie of being bad. Just say it wasn’t for you. BTW, I (sort of) called it! While Love is technically not of Thor and Jane’s DNA, Jane was the one to convince Gorr to bring back his daughter so that Thor could take care of her. And Love is played by Chris Hemsworth’s real life daughter so….I stan this movie! I love the story, I love the characters and I love the themes. I stan Big Daddy Thor.

Moving on!

The Live Action Pinocchio remake. I found it cute and charming. But a lot of people are bashing this movie. And the reasons I’m hearing over and over are the CGI being bad and because they changed a few story beats and a few bad jokes. Number 1. I’ll admit the CGI does venture into the uncanny valley a time or two. Robert Zimmeckis has really been trying for almost forty years to make another Who Framed Roger Rabbit. But overall I found the CGI fine. It’s not easy to make a movie where half the cast exists as code on a computer. But Pinocchio looked just like the original cartoon while the rest of the cg characters bridged the gap to the live action characters. Number 2. I get the feeling people haven’t watched the original in a while. There was a lot of filler and unnecessary exposition in it. People complained about the cuckoo clocks in the new movie because they were all Disney movie Easter eggs. But about half of the first act of the original was the animators showing off these different clock designs. This movie used that time to focus on the story. Developing Gepetto’s character. That he’s inclined to attach himself to inanimate objects. Because of what they remind him of. So that when the wish brings his once inanimate puppet to life, he’s overjoyed. Now personally I think we could have had a quick scene where Pinocchio asks Gepetto about the son he had that passed away, this setting up the idea in Pinocchio’s head that Gepetto wished for his son to be alive again, thus explaining why he’s determined to be a real boy. So that Gepetto’s speech at the end makes a bit more sense. I mean we the audience were led to believe Gepetto wished for his son to be alive again but I don’t think it was shown that Pinocchio was ever made to think that. They also added a few new characters to help Pinocchio instead of the Blue Fairy. Like instead of the Blue Fairy just busting him out of Stromboli’s cage, they have a young puppeteer with a wooden leg befriend Pinocchio. And they way they do it was so clever. Because this girl can’t dance (I think there’s a quick shot of her as a ballerina in a photo) she has her own puppet that she has dance for her. And after Stromboli locks him up Pinocchio doesn’t trust any real person but his father. So this puppeteer uses her puppet to talk for her and gain his trust. I’m sorry but that’s clever! Plus Pinocchio quickly figures out that he can use his famous nose to grab the key and escape. Also clever! Pinocchio just has more of a character arc in this movie. He’s actually learning lessons about growing up while in the original stuff just kind of happens to Pinocchio. I will say the pleasure island scene was both enhanced but toned down. Enhanced because it looks amazing and they add a bit about kids deliberately saying mean things just to say them. But it’s toned down because unlike the original where Pinocchio allows himself to have fun, this version he’s like the one kid at the party that isn’t drunk. So it doesn’t feel earned when Pinocchio gets transformed too because he didn’t really do anything wrong except not go home. Ps they drink root beer instead of real beer (and there’s no smoking) but I don’t know. The Coachman could have just called the real beer root beer. People are mad about Monstro because of the cgi but I already talked about that. I will add they deliberately designed him that way to be like the illustration in the original book. And then there is the ending. They don’t show Pinocchio turning into a real boy. They tease it. You can see Pinocchio’s limbs turning human as they walk into the light. Also the tear Pinocchio sheds is his first hint of becoming human. And him not dying because duh, he has no lungs so he can’t drown. And I kinda get the frustration. We wait a whole movie to see him become a real boy but he doesn’t and it’s unsatisfying. But people aren’t listening to Gepetto’s speech. It doesn’t matter that Pinocchio isn’t human. Gepetto accepts him no matter what as his son because he loves him. End of rant.

#disney #disney +#marvel #thor love and thunder #Disney’s Pinocchio 2022 #pinocchio #movie spoilers #movie review #personal rant

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inventors-fair · 3 years ago

Photo

At the Head Table

Congratulations to our winners this week! @reaperfromtheabyss with Sanguine Gavotte, @knightofthelivingtable with Silverblade Prodigy, and @ghoulcaclulator64 with Scapegiest // Departed’s Blame! You all did an amazing job!

Sanguine Gavotte

Art direction: A scene from the Vampire wedding of Crimson vow. Foreground is two figures dancing, one a vampire dressed for a wedding, and the other a mirror duplicate formed entirely from blood. Mood: No one dances alone at a Voldaren party.

I had to google what a gavotte was. It’s a dance I think? Or music? Well, here’s one that turns blood into creatures. I think that’s a neat way to implement blood. It’s like halfway between sanguine statue and the puppeteer in the set. You get exactly one use of it for “free”, but then it needs to be fed blood to keep working. That’s very in line with the rest of the set. The power level of it also feels right, blood-wise. It’s not so much stronger than blood you would never use the blood for anything else (especially if you have nothing good to copy), but it’s also not so much weaker that you’re better off just rummaging. This actually makes the choice meaningful. It depends on what kind of creatures you already have in play. I have on big gripe with the card, though. There’s a few too many creatures that just say “ETB, create a blood token,” meaning that you are no longer forcing a choice, you’re just getting it for free. I think a way to avoid this would have been to make the blood token become the creature, then sacrifice at end of turn. Then it would have only comboed with Voldaren Bloodcaster. Though even then there’s an argument that could be made: is it better to copy the free creature, like a Voldaren Epicure, or something that actually has an impact, like a Goldspan Dragon? I like how these choices reverberate all the way back to deckbuilding. I’m very happy with this card.

Silverblade Prodigy

Power-centric mechanics often have a double strike card, or at least lifelink card, something that benefits off that extra power, but we didn’t see that this set. I’m glad you attempted to rectify that. You also gave it a way to encourage its own training, which is awesome! Pumping other creatures is a cool way to interact with training. I think it was also costed pretty well, considering a 1/2 double-striker is usually a bit more than 2 mana, this feels appropriate when you add in the extra abilities. Training seems to be costed fairly cheaply, and that pump ability costs enough mana it doesn’t really affect the card’s cost. However, there’s other issues with the cost. This looks almost exactly like every other training card in the set. Three of them are already 1/2s, and four of them are three mana. I think making this card four mana and adjusting the stats to match would feel more like a card missing from the set rather than something that would swap with the set. Still, I can’t ignore the fact that this card is cool. Along with being synergistic with the training mechanic, the pump also feels synergistic with the green/white archetype that wants you to go wide. I also like the simplicity of this. You can look at this even as a new player and get excited about it. A very classic intro-box rare style card. It’s cool!

Scapegoat Geist // Departed’s Blame

Now THIS is a cool disturb card. It feels so obvious when you see it. Changing targets is a pretty common effect, in a matter of speaking. It’s rare to see more than one in standard at a time, but there’s usually at least one, sort of like extra turns spells. They can also get annoying, so they usually aren’t that powerful. This one is just about perfect. It’s such a cool idea. The front is a form of protection, usually saving another creature. But something it does that others of it type doesn’t is that the spell-redirection is a way to get this guy to hit the graveyard quicker so you can disturb him! That’s so clever! The back side is pretty expensive, but considering you already got a creature out of the card it probably should be. Plus, the backside is effectively removal. It means that if your opponent ever casts a removal spell, you can just spend two mana and swing it back at them. It’s gonna end up putting you and your opponent in tense and exciting situations. It’s all pretty cool. I love how it does both of the things redirection does: scapegoating your own creatures and turning spells back at your opponent’s stuff. If I had to have a complaint I’d say that maybe also affecting abilities may be a little weird. That, and the obvious choice of calling the front “Scapegeist.” C’mon, it was right in front of you.

And there you go! There were a lot of cool entries this week, so look out for the runners-up coming soon! Thank you all for entering, and good luck on the next one!

-Mod Mr. ShinyObject

#mtg #magic the gathering #winners #commentary #inventor's fair #custom magic card #plus one

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