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storiesabouthumanandthings · 5 months ago

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The Punk and The Suit 1

Well here we are. I've been wanting to write for a while but have been absolutely burned out. Sadly for writing the muse gets to choose and has left my WIPs to snooze. All my poor WIPs just waiting for new words and yet instead have a brand new story that me and my wife @amloveabledeathmo are writing together.

“Are you excited for tonight?” Kristoph overhears some random coworker ask Eric in front of the office building as they are heading to it after going out for lunch. Kristoph has been trying to keep his distance from the gossip but there was no escape since they all worked together.

“It’s no big thing. I knew this was coming.” Eric took a smug sip of his nasty coffee.

Kristoph couldn’t help but roll his eyes and thought to himself, ‘He doesn’t deserve it, I've been working here since I was fourteen. The only reason he is getting this is dad is a moron and his mom is a-’

He was pulled out of his thoughts swiftly when a skateboarder slammed into Eric. Eric fell to the concrete, spilling his stupid high price mocha frape whatever drink all over his new suit.

“Watch where you’re going!” yells the punk skateboarder.

Kristoph is glad he is hidden behind the tree. He likes sitting in front of the building and watching the skateboarders and street performers on his lunch break. But now he had to stifle a laugh and an evil grin as Eric laid in a mess.

“Do you know who he is?” one of Eric’s cronies yelled back at the skateboarder.

“Is he fucking blind? Did y’all not see the orange cones? No? Then I don’t give a fuck.” The punk yelled as he picked himself up and dusted himself off.

“He could buy your whole apartment building and kick you out if he wanted too,” a different crony yelled.

The punk boarder scoffed, “Then he should use some of that money to buy a new pair of eyes.”

Before Eric or anyone else could respond, he whistled to his friends, picked up the cones marking off their trick area, and rode off. Eric started yelling at his cronies to help him up. The trio hurried inside while Kristoph leisurely finished off his meal and picked up his garbage, he even picked up stupid Eric's cup, littering was just not cool. That was one of the best lunches Kristoph had in a while.

The office was a buzz about Eric being beaten up by a bunch of gangsters and how he fought them all off. Kristoph couldn’t believe how exaggerated it had gotten even though there would of course be CCTV video of the whole incident. But Kristoph didn’t say anything to correct the rumors. That would mean having to admit being there and not doing anything or looking jealous over the whole other situation.

He just closed his office door and rode the high of the mental image of the mess of Eric knocked on the floor where he belongs.

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Hours later, now across town boarding an elevator, Kristoph couldn’t believe his luck when the skateboarder who knocked Eric on his ass stepped in. They made polite nods and pressed their floor number.

Kristoph watched as the punk boarder was checking himself out in the mirrored elevator and began to take aggressive (ly hot) selfies.

“Sorry to interrupt, and I’m sorry if this seems rude, but you seem like you’re good at pissing people off,” Kristoph states.

The punk looks Kristoph up and down in the mirror, not turning to him, “Why? Am I pissing you off?”

Kristoph smiles and adjust his glasses, turning towards the punk, “No, quite the opposite. You interest me. With your posing and posturing though, does it anger people?”

The Punk, now a bit confused, looks at Kristoph, “Oh uh a bit. The way I dress seems to frustrate people on its own. They expect me to be stuffed in some tight boring suit, uh no offense,-”

“None taken”

“- but yeah, with my attitude and the fact I don't care about their opinions on my style it just sends them through the fucking roof,” he says with a slight chuckle.

Kristoph nods, “Do you enjoy pissing people off?”

The Punk, with a raised eye brow, getting annoyed with all the probing questions, “Maybe, sometimes. Depends. What's it to you?”

Kristoph reaches into his pocket, “I have some people I would like to piss of. But I am not very good at confrontations I'm afraid. I am stuck in a tight boring suit. You are not. So if you don't mind, I would like to hire you to piss off people for me. $100 cash plus food for one evening. All you have to do is show up with me. You can totally also try to piss them off too but yeah just seeing you will give them a conniption.” Kristoph pulls out the cash from his wallet.

The Punk immediately snatches the cash, “Fuck yeah, when do we meet up to do this?”

The elevator dings and the doors open to a grand hall full of people in suits and dresses. Kristoph walks out, “Now. My cheating father is promoting my jerk step brother over me in the family business. This is the big party about it and you're now my plus one.”

“WoahWoah! Woah! Woah! Wait a second! I need time to prepare!”

Kristoph holds the door open with one hand and his other hand grabs the punks hand with the money, “It’s now or never, your choice,” he says while looking into the punk’s eyes.

Please let us know what you think of this new story. That was supposed to be a one shot but well the muse.

#original fic #gay #fake dating #m/m #m/m fiction #The Punk and The Suit

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storiesabouthumanandthings · 4 months ago

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The Punk and The Suit 7

Kristoph took Kieran to a suit shop with a tailor.

Kieran groaned walking in, “But I have a suit”

“And it fits you like shit by your own words. You have a professional art show and you need to look the part.”

At this time the shop keep approached Kristoph, “How can I help you sir?”

Kristoph side stepped and pointed to Kieran, “My associate will be needing a suit, a few shirts, a couple of vests, and a selection of bow ties.”

Kieran shouts from behind Kristoph, “Are you filing my whole closet with stuffy suits?”

The shop keep gave Kieran a look over, unable to hide the disdain in his face, “This will be some work. Does the sir know his measurements?”

Kieran raises an eyebrow, “Large?”

Kristoph turns back to the keep, “No, so if you don’t mind, we will take a dressing room and a tape. A pin cushion as well would be appreciated.”

The shopkeeper nods and waves for them to follow, “Right this way.”

Kieran silently mocks the keeper but follows behind. They are shown to a room with a large five paneled mirror and a small stage in the middle and an attached dressing room and are left with a measuring tape, “I shall return soon with the pins as requested.”

“Thank you,” Kristoph then turns to Kieran, “Ok, now for the moment, I need you to stand with your arms out and feet shoulder length apart.”

“Do I need to do jumping jacks?” Kieran jokes but does as he was asked.

Kristoph sets about quickly measuring Kieran, starting around the chest. This surprised Kieran slightly when Kristoph wrapped his arms around him. Kieran almost gave Kristoph a hug until he pulled back and pulled the tape tight around him.

Kristoph then relaxed the tape and let it slide down a few inches and paused. “Where are your hips?” as he patted Kieran’s side.

“What?”

“Your hips? I can’t tell in your current clothes. Where are your hip bones?”

Kieran grabbed one of Kristoph’s hands and placed it on his hip, “Here I think, what is this for?”

“I need it to find your waist measurement for your pants of course, also for your shirt and to find the length for your pants.”

Kieran nodded as Kristoph continued to measure. Once the waist measurement was done. Kristoph knelt down in front of Kieran. With one hand still on his hip, measured down his leg. Once done, he moved to the inside of his legs and measured the inseam.

Kieran couldn’t help but blush and try to make a joke to break his own tension, “I didn’t know we were at this level yet.”

Kristoph looked up, still on his knees in front of Kieran, “What level is that?” completely missing the joke. It wasn’t until he noticed Kieran’s eyes darting between himself and his crotch that he got the message.

Kristoph stood up and playfully pushed Kieran, “This is a completely normal process of getting a suit.”

Kieran smiled and winked as Kristoph tossed the tape around Kieran’s neck, “Well then maybe I should get measured more often.”

Kristoph stood there briefly looking into Kieran’s eyes. Trying to discern if this is playful fun or serious flirting. Kristoph began to lean in as Kieran’s eyes began to widen when a cough was heard.

“Pins as requested sir. Anything else I can help you with?”

Kristoph turned his face from the keeper as he finished getting the final measurements, “Yes, I would like two slacks, blazer, and vest, one black and one in a dark grey, preferably charcoal. Then four shirts, white, black, red, and blue. Bow ties and ties in matching colors. And three more vests with pattern, one floral, a Kerr tartan if you have one, and I guess surprise me.”

Kristoph gives him the list of measurements and the shop keeper walks away.

“Are you expecting me to get all of this? There is no way I’m-”

Kristoph interrupts, “No I don’t expect you to get everything but I know how much you hate suits. So I am trying to show you that suits can be more than just funerals, marriages, and lawyers.”

Kieran huffs, “Right…and how did you know what tartan was my family?”

Kristoph blushes, “Well after hearing about the IRA connection-”

“Alleged.”

“Alleged connection, I admit I got curious but I had already shred the file. The only word I found was O’Carrey, which is your last name on your social media as well, and from that, when we agreed to go clothes shopping, I figured I’d look it up and get family detail. Thinking that-”

“You could butter me up?”

“You would be more amenable to suits.”

“Ok smart guy, since you know my last name, what’s yours?”

“Really? You don’t know it?”

“Yeah really, why would I know it?”

“I figured you already did because you are always outside of the office and would have seen the sign. It’s Chryses.”

“Chryses? Like a crisis but a fancy plural form of them?”

Kristoph ignores the comment, “It means golden in Greek.”

“Your life is in a Chryses,” Kieran teases.

Kristoph nudged him, “So original,” he said sarcastically but still laughed.

A cough came from the door before it was pushed open and in wheeled a rack with the requested clothes.

“Thank you, Sir.” The shop keep wished them luck and exited, Kristoph turned back to Kieran, “Now real fast. The main suits, black and charcoal, which do you like more?”

Kristoph pulls both suits from the racks and holds them up.

Kieran shrugs, “I have a black suit at home.”

“You have a black garbage bag back at home, forget about it. If you are so attached to it, we can bring it back here and get it properly tailored but here and now, which one do you like more.”

Kieran shrugs, “Man, I don’t know.”

Kristoph walked over and gave Kieran a spin towards the center mirror. He then wrapped his arms around Kieran and draped the suits lightly across his body, “Just look, Black or Grey? Black or Grey?” repeating the colors as he moved them back and forth.

Kieran ended up picking the Charcoal Grey.

“Good, now I will show you how to have fun with the suit. First, take this, with the white shirt and black bow tie, something I know you are used to seeing.” Kristoph shoved him into the little changing room before hanging the Black suit on the rack and organizing the rest of the items as Kieran changed.

Kieran came out slowly in his socks, “I don’t think Grammo will let me in the house if I showed up like this.”

Kristoph looked at him, “Ok, you look good and I know you are uncomfortable but now think back to your old black suit. This must be better?”

Kieran looked himself in the mirror, “Only slightly. It does fit better, not so lose but otherwise just as stuffy.”

“Ok, now the fun, the vests and shirts. You can do this with the pants and blazers too but that is far too much for you. The vests, shirts, and ties are the easiest way to do this. Now try this one.”

Kristoph hands him some clothes. Kieran begins undressing in the mirror room before Kristoph yells at him, “Hey, hey, hey, in the changing room.”

Kieran raises an eyebrow, “You’ve seen my chest? Suddenly shy?”

“We are in a shop. Plus it’s a better surprise when you walk out.”

“Fine, fine, whatever.”

A moment later Kieran walked out in a black vest and shirt.

“I like this on you. It feels more you, with the punk style but also business with the monochromatic. This doesn’t need the tie as it just gets lost or you can take one of colored ties for a pop.”

Kieran walks over and picks a few things up, “I think I found a look I like that I should wear to the next function with your family.”

Kieran pops back out, he is in the charcoal suit but with a golden vest with black details, a black shirt, and a matching bow tie to the vest.

Kristoph stood up and clapped when he came out, “That looks great and you are right, that would kick things off with the family.”

“Why’s that?”

“Well with the golden last name, if you showed up dressed like that, they might think we are engaged or married and we haven’t told them. That’s the family tradition when we make that next step.”

“Oh wow! I am not sure I am ready for that commitment.”

Kristoph rolled his eyes, “Do you have any issues with the suit?”

“Well I still don’t get it. It looks only slightly better than what I have at home for five times the price if not more.”

“That’s because we aren’t done, now face the mirror.”

Kieran spins to face the center of the five full length mirrors as Kristoph walks up behind him. “Ok, just relax your arms,” Kristoph commands.

Kristoph places his chin on Kieran’s shoulder as he grabs the excess fabric in the blazer, “First we need to take this in, even though we got your measurements they of course don’t have an exact match so they give you the closest fit and then they tailor as needed.”

Kieran noticed the suit did already look better.

“Now take off the blazer.”

Kieran pulled it off and tossed it on the nearby chair.

“They will do the same on the vests and shirts you pick as well,” Kristoph repeated the process as before.

Kieran couldn’t help but think this has been the most anyone’s hands have been on his body in a while.

Kristoph bunched the material in the back and then grazed his hand over Kieran’s chest and stomach, “With just taking it in a tiny bit, your physique is much better shown and the clothes don’t look rumpled on you.” Kieran just nodded as Kristoph let go and crouched down next to his legs, “Now they will do the same here. I think it can do with a slight cinching in but let me know what you think.” Kristoph pulled the material tighter on his legs, “Just a tiny bit again shows more of your body tone though doing so also restricts some of your movement.,” Kristoph turns Kieran around with his hands, “If we tighten it just a little, you can really show your, um, assets, as you seem to like to do but still fully clothed.”

Kieran looked back and could see that with the material tightened, his ass did look great. Kristoph’s hands were on his thighs, holding the folded fabric down. It was obvious that Kristoph didn’t know he was being watched as Kieran could see Kristoph’s lusty gaze. Having his head at his groin area, was not making the situation any easier. In fact if anything it was making it-

Kieran coughed and stepped back, catching himself in thought, “Thank you,” is all he could mutter out before rushing back into the changing room, back into his normal clothes.

Kieran yelled from the room, “I think I have made my decision. I’ll take the suit, the black shirt. I’ll take the vests, just all of them. I think the floral will be great for the Art installation and I can rotate through them. Need the gold for you and your family in case we really wanna make their heads explode. I have a white shirt. I can get more later if needed. I’ll take the Gold bow tie as well but not anything else.”

“Great, I’ll let the tailor and owner know. Then let’s go get dinner. This all took longer than I expected. I am famished!”

Kieran laughed, “Famished, Ay? I know just the place.”

They leave with a receipt that Kristoph gives to Kieran with orders to pick up in a week’s time. They head over to St Paul’s Famished Potatoes.

As the reach the front of the line, a familiar face is staring at Kristoph.

“Can I take your order?”

“You run this truck too?”

The owner looks past Kristoph and both sees and starts yelling at Kieran, “You took him to Patrick first?!”

“Hey, Paul, it’s nothing personal. Paddy was just closer that day and now today we’re here.”

“Lawyer boy, you’re supposed to be impartial,”

“I am not a lawyer,” Kristoph tried to argue but was completely ignored.

“since you ate at Patrick’s and are now here, give me your honest opinion on which one is better.” Paul pointed at Kristoph.

“Uh, sure. Can I get the Pretty Fly for A French Fry?”

“Good choice. By the way Paul’s the name. I am the pretty twin. Remember that lawyer boy.”

“Will do.”

As they head over to a park bench, Kieran leans in, “Just in case this needs to be said. Don’t fucking say shit.”

Kristoph scoffs, “Of course not. I know a family feud when I see one. I’m not stupid. So what’s the story there? If you don’t mind me asking.”

Kieran shakes his head and starts talking, “They’re the eldest grandchildren. They both always wanted to open a restaurant together. I helped them with the designs actually. But they couldn’t agree on a menu or whose name should go first. So they made a bet of which ever business fails or does worse, has to join the other.”

“Well they both seem to be doing great.”

“And there’s the feud. Some of the family refuse to eat at either truck just to stay neutral. The rest of us ensure to bounce equally between them to show no family favorites. Both have their own followings and are doing great. They do work together during big events or family gatherings but the rest of the year they are at each others throats.”

“Hmm. And why not just do both menus?”

“Don’t ask me. But just remember to not say one is better than the other and if you eat at one, to eat at the other within a month. They do keep track.”

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#the punk and the suit #original fic #original fiction #m/m fiction #gay #fake dating #m/m

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