#the problem and issue is I have certain scenes and events that I have plotted out in my head

[menlove]

im Going to write this chapter today so help me god

[tahbhie]

How Plot Progression Works—Myths and Facts.

Let me start with a myth.

Last week, a writer approached me with their half-finished draft, unsure how to continue. Apparently, they got writer's block in the middle of the work. For about thirty minutes, we discussed the book freely as if it were a finished and published work.

Then I realized the issue.

☞ The problem?

From the conversation, I noticed that the writer's thoughts and ideas, which they voiced for the book, totally contradicted what they had written.

Their book followed a sequence of events. It was well-calculated, and the plot progression was on point but only to a certain level. I noticed robotic recurrences.

Something like this:

Scene 1— a sudden revelation

Scene 2— an unexpected fight

Scene 3— introduction of a new character

Scene 4— a conflict

Scene 5— another sudden revelation

Scene 6— an unexpected fight

Scene 7— introduction of a new character

Scene 8— a conflict

Meanwhile, all these elements didn't tie to each other in the story. They just performed different roles in each scene and were rendered useless in the next and every other scene that followed.

☞ Why did this happen?

Among other reasons, being extremely rigid with writing advice is a main factor.

Writing advice is great, but don't bend your style to suit the rules; bend the rules to suit your style.

Here's a clearer example of what I'm talking about.

Writing advice often says to keep readers on the edge of their seats within the first five pages, but this doesn't mean introducing unrealistic problems that don't fit your story. For example, introducing a sudden and improbable conflict just to add excitement can disrupt the flow and believability of your plot

During our session, I already understood how to assist, and we were setting our comfortable hours when the writer suddenly said, "I was told to include conflict in the middle of the book, then I ran out of ideas when I got there. I could have added one just a few pages in because I believe it would do well there, but again, I was unsure if that would make sense."

Now, who said conflict can't start a book? When you start your book with a conflict, you just have to ensure that you build towards 'the reason' behind the conflict so your readers can understand.

☞ Should I follow every writing advice with a closed mind?

No, you shouldn't. Remember that you are writing that book because you want to, and your idea was great enough to convince you to actually write. You need to enjoy the process and create what you truly want to create. Follow instructions flexibly.

Now that the myth is out of the way, let's talk about things that make a plot.

➜ Basic plot elements.

Initially, your plot should have the following:

✧ Protagonist ✧

Who are readers following in the story? Make that clear in the first few chapters. If you're writing from a first-person point of view and plan on switching between characters, aim for a maximum of two characters. It becomes clear that those two characters are an important part of the story; hence, they get the privilege to narrate the story from their respective views.

✧ Goals and objectives ✧

What is your protagonist after? Here's one thing you should know: your character doesn't have to know what they want at the beginning of the story. They may be as confused about their life as anyone reading, but as the story unfolds, they find a goal worth reaching and discover the needed strength to reach the goal.

✧ Antagonist ✧

What/Who is standing as a threat? A threat is hell-bent on ruining your protagonist and stopping them from achieving their goals. An antagonist could be an object or a human. It all depends on the concept you aim for. Funny enough, the antagonist could be a lie that starts out seemingly small but ends up being harmful. The rom-com movie "Upgraded" is an example of this concept. The lie the art enthusiast told was the greatest trouble she faced.

✧ Conflict ✧

What are the problems the protagonist faces? Problems can start from anywhere over anything, and you can choose to make them mild and solvable at first while building up to something larger.

✧ Resulting consequences ✧

What happens after the protagonist faces the trouble and tries to solve it? Did they lose anything? Hurt someone? Earn support from people they least expect?

✧ Character arc ✧

How has the journey shaped your protagonist? After going through something they probably never saw coming, how has it changed them? For a timid main character at the beginning of the story, do they finally become brave and display a different side of themselves?

All these are important for a well-rounded story as a whole.

Join the Writers' Universe and connect with like-minded writers.

➜ Secondary plot elements

These elements help you shape the above category.

● Setbacks

Let's use movies to illustrate this. There are certain points where we lose hope for the main character, almost convinced they've lost. We see them at their weakest points, hurt that the antagonist got them good. These moments are the setbacks. The protagonist is made vulnerable.

● Loss

What did the setback cost them? The reason I intentionally labeled this as loss is because to move a plot forward, some things need repairing. Since most loose ends were already from the beginning of the story, adding a fresh loss piques the reader's interest. It doesn't have to be the death of someone. It could be the brutal end of an alliance formed on an emotional scale.

● Break of a new dawn

I just wanted to get creative with the title. This point marks the pivotal change of events, and once again, there's hope for the protagonist as they find solutions to their problems. In this stage, they discover hidden abilities within themselves (this isn't limited to fantasy).

And there you have the important sections of plot progression. But keep these few things in mind. To ensure you're not leaving a huge gap in your plot, try to:

┗→ Introduce elements that work for your story:

It's common to believe something works well simply because it did in your favorite book. You might want to reconsider that with a different mindset.

┗→ Tie elements together:

Of course, this doesn't apply to all, but try to create a link between events in your story. If a fight occurred in a scene, link it to a cause in a few scenes ahead. This can lead to another conflict, this time on a larger scale, without having to introduce something entirely different.

And back to the question that birthed this post:

ᴥ Should conflict come early or not?

It depends on your work, but it can come early. That's not taboo.

There was a movie I watched featuring a female lawyer as the protagonist. The movie started with the kidnap of her only child, and the rest of the scenes drove us to the 'cause,’ then more conflicts, setbacks, and finally resolution. We were also able to explore the character’s personality based on the decisions she took in different emotional scenes.

She tried to keep her calm in some scenes while she just flat-out threw a tantrum in others, but overall, she was a strong woman who was broken by the incidents occurring and then rebuilt. I read a book with the same premise: the main character was a tween who misplaced something precious and decided to go on an adventure to search for it, and that was what the story was built upon.

I always tell writers one thing—own your book. The first draft seems to be the toughest one of its pair, but if you don't allow yourself to freely express your thoughts, there will be no first draft or story at all.

✧✧✧✧

Struggling with any stages of writing? Send me a message, and let's sort it out for a suitable fee.

✧✧✧✧

Do you want to create characters readers are compelled to start a fandom for?

Check out "My Characters and I" extensive coaching session. Understand the secret behind every attractive character. The slots are limited, and this opportunity closes once capacity is reached. Don't miss it; you never know when you’ll stumble upon these golden gates again.

[eyedoeluhn]

I'm well past what the show has covered and the only improvement I'll cite is that the new art doesn't hurt to look at and they have a budget now. Literally everything every comics reader has complained about is stupid garbage and I'm certain this is some kind of CIA psyop.

The invincible comics are, when they're being good, a mediocre hero comic predicated on tropes with a vaguely interesting alien plot and then it kind of starts discussing the basic moral questions about superheroes. It's frankly a struggle to find something that wasn't interpreted by the show better and no I don't care that they cut the crossover with "The Astounding Wolf-Man." You could not pay me to care about the wolf man. I will not read his comics.

Really the most important part of reading the comics makes you realize a lot of people are actually arguing about how events went down there instead of the show. And I guess to some people trying to spoil it?

Anyway I read in the first issue that they were very proud of comic debbie and it was just misogynistic shit that was really bad. Basically every female character suffers though. Most characters are just...i really dont like them. Even Mark, and i fucking hate show Mark. But it's a fond hatred. I think he's a funny idiot who needs to be killed painfully. But man comark just irritates me. Part of it is because the show spends more time with building character moments and there's limited pages but the other part is that they genuinely just fumble character building moments the show revises.

Like, what comes to mind immediately is this monster girl and robot date scene where they attempt to watch an R rated movie while both of them look around 12 years old and are stopped by a ticket seller who doesn't want to let them in.

In the show Monster Girl is the one to get them in, while rudy tries to poorly negotiate she bribed a nearby woman with $10 to act as their mother. She then talks with rudy about how this happens fairly often and shes used to having to work around it. This is a great scene because we learn more about how monster girl has learned to navigate the world and how it makes things more difficult for her and her age reversal curse is a important part of her arc I could expand on. It's also good for rudy too because hes freshly human and still experiencing friction, he's extremely inexperienced in even basic human tasks and now this is a problem he didnt anticipate. His approach is smart but inexperienced and he's been spending the last few days following monster girls lead.

In the comic the scene plays out very differently. Rudy is the primary negotiator, and he initially tries to brute force the interaction before coming to the same conclusion and bribing a nearby woman while monster girl swoons and thanks him after. In this scene we learn....Rudy is smart. Hes willing to change his approach and..this is just another step in his plan to woo monster girl and hes cool i guess...its just not that interesting for the characters. And also the ship is really bad in the comic its so bad Jesus christ. The revised version is just better here.

The show being better doesn't make the comic ass. The comic is just ass on its own, independently. Which is fine, most superhero comics are. Its a capeshit story from 2003 just stop pretending it's Shakespeare and that it has well written female characters. Or you will find me in your house.

[rippleclan]

given how much StarClan interacts with RippleClan (mostlt Oilstripe, for.. obvious reasons), could Scrubmask tell them who did it? or was it so quick that even she didn't catcha glimpse of the killer? im assuming it took her moment between dying and becoming a spirit, so the killed escaped the scene, but again.. what about other StarClans that visit the living so frequently.

this one thing always bugs me in canon books, with how much StarClan interacts with living cats and yet just refuse to do *anything*. 'no Redtail, you can't warn the clans about Tigerclaw murdering you, we need the special orange child to do it :) who cares it will take him months to figure it out :)) who cares that Tigerclaw will kill more cats in the meantime and we will then give him 9 lives so he can continue killing more cats :))) also dont worry if your dead sister visits our special orange boy every night, she is here to vibe and talk. no, not talk about your murder lol who cares.'

Ok ok ok, so this was an issue that I brought up in my StarClan lore post, but I’ll elaborate here. The solution I crafted for this plot hole is that there is a greater power keeping the cat’s mouths shut about these issues; the All-Seeing.

If you don’t remember, the All-Seeing is the mass of forgotten cats who guard the river of time and space. They are basically a god. They don’t necessarily have the same sort of logic or morality as living cats or regular StarClan cats. They see everything, and know how the flow of time will progress. They are the one who allows StarClan to send omens and prophecies. They’re also the one who lets you, the readers, alter events! Their main goal is the continuation of the Clans.

The problem with the All-Seeing is that, while StarClan could let cats know about so many of these omnipotent details, they have already seen the Clans work through these issues. They give StarClan power to send prophecies if the Clans would not be able to properly overcome a certain challenge without divine assistance. Like I said in my prophecy discussion, prophecies are tools to guide the cats to the right actions or knowledge. If nothing changes as a result of having the prophecy, there is no point in giving it. While StarClan can predict some things as well, the majority of this specific power comes from the All-Seeing. If they do not want something said, StarClan physically cannot say it.

Let’s take a few examples. When Carnationspeckle was kidnapped, Oilstripe asked Applepelt for news about her mate, but Applepelt was unable to say anything. This was because the All-Seeing already knew that RippleClan would quickly save Carnationspeckle and establish a tentative peace with the Witch Hunters. Giving Oilstripe more information would disturb the flow of time severely. Conversely, Fennelspot received a prophecy about Tempestkit because, has he not reacted to the faint smoke in the air, Tempestkit would have frozen to death and disturbed some of the All-Seeing’s important plans with the flow of time. They have a plan that is hard to fathom, and they will follow it.

There are a lot of nuances to how much power StarClan and the All-Seeing actually have, and how clerics and their rituals can alter this, but that’s for another post. I’ll tackle the issue of Scrubmask specifically. You as readers know it was murder, but in the eyes of RippleClan, they believe the death was caused by a Witch Hunter. They have no reason to suspect a Clan cat of killing Scrubmask. Scrubmask is prevented from casually saying anything to Oilstripe, whose abilities disturb the All-Seeing’s order of things. Should Troutpool perform a ritual in regards to Scrubmask’s murder, StarClan and the All-Seeing may have the power and freedom to say something. However, in the All-Seeing’s future, keeping the killer a secret is important.

[creative-hanyou-girl]

I don't know if anyone else feels this way but I think a big reason why I'm so chill about the changes made to the PJO show from the books is because I kind of look at each other as their own seperate canon.

Like, I read a lot of anime and manga, and anime adaptations have a huge habit for changing plot points for various reasons, and as a fan of said anime and manga, I've found that I can enjoy both versions of the same story even with the differences when I look at them as their own universe or canon. That's not to say I don't want them to be faithful or true to the source material, but if a scene or situation plays out differently for a logical or entertaining reason, than I can still appreciate that deviation from the manga even if I still like the other original version of that part more. And I can even like the reversal way if I feel an anime does something better than even the manga. But if I want to, I can look at certain moments as more canon than others because I got 2 different versions of that same scene or moment.

And, I don't know, I kind of apply that reasoning to the PJO series as well, mainly with the books, the show, and even the musical (not the movies put that right back where it came from). So far I'm loving the TV show, and while I miss some of the things they changed (like the pink poodle), this adaptation really is doing a great job with staying true to the heart and spirit of the original book that I personally am not even really bothered by the changes, especially when I remember that the books will always still be there with it's own version, or canon, of events.

Like, I will say 1 thing I adore in the books that isn't really in the show is the fact that a lot of Percy and Annabeth's "rivalry" during TLT has more to do with the rivalry between Poseidon and Athena. I just really like on how this adds a level of "forbidden friendship/love" to their relationship 'cause I personally eat the forbidden relationship trope up, especially when it's done well like with Percabeth.

Yet, even if this isn't really the reason percabeth have beef with each other in the show, I can still appreciate and enjoy that according to the show's canon, they have issues because they genuinely have problems with each other as actual people rather than their parents' rivalry, because at the end of the day, that's the PJO TV show canon, and I can always turn to the books for that version of Percabeth's "rivalry", as that is the PJO book canon.

Same goes for the characters too. I will always have and love my dark haired Percy and blond haired Annabeth in the books, but I can also welcome and love Walker's Percy and Leah's Annabeth from the show. And so far, they along with Aryan are KILLING IT as those characters.

I can love both versions of the characters.

I can love both versions of the same story.

I can look at both versions as they own seperate canon or mix them together if I so wish too (especially since both versions of PJO are written by the same guy)

And that's ok. The adaptation doesn't have to be a complete copy of the books. It doesn't have to have things play out eactly the same way. The characters don't have to look exactly the way they are described as in the books. And that's ok. I will still always have the books to love and appreciate, but I can also start to love and appreciate the new adaptation for it's new spin and twists to the same story that sets it apart as it's own canon while still staying true to the spirit of its predecessor.

Anyway, sorry if I'm not making a lot of sense. I just think the people complaining about the changes in the show are looking at it all the wrong way. The show has it's own canon just as the books have their own canon, or even the musical. At the end of the day, isn't that kind of cool to have different versions of the same story and characters? Doesn't it give you so many more options to look at the story in different ways that you can prefer or choose from? Doesn't it give you new versions of canon that you choose from? And really, as long as the PJO adaptation, or any adaptation for that matter, stays true to the heart and spirit of the original story and characters, do the changes made really matter?

[pretentious-art-love]

Show Reviews #12 - Bakemonogatari and Monogatari (from Kizumonogatari to Zoku Owarimonogatari)

Okay so I don't remember the plot of Last Year at Marienbad, but changing the scene while keeping the dialogue going is something I always loved because it soothes my brain and its ADHD-like symptoms. This anime does that a lot, and I like it for that, it is the Marienbad anime for me, plus this one is full of color so it is a lot more pleasing than Marienbad, which is in black and white and sometimes just feels like a movie long perfume commercial. Some spoilers ahead.

But the writing is very... Style over Substance, there are some great ideas, you know, someone with mental health issues appears, something fantastical happens, then they have to deal with their issue themselves and we find a resolution that might not fix everything but helps them confront reality. With this series, there is something I like, something Im meh about, and something I just plainly dislike.

What I like. This I think keeps things with relatively low stakes, it's not let's save the world or do a heist, it's more like I want that con man leave my school and stop tricking my friends, or, I want to stop self hurting because I hate myself. Like even if you see in the show the black dot that is going to destroy the universe, you know it is all just inside the characters minds since they always talk about it so calmly. But I like that, I like the low stakes and the introspection, I like the minimal atmosphere and turning mental health issues into fantastical creatures or sci fi events. It's a bit like Boogiepop Phantom but with intrapersonal issues while Boogiepop is more about interpersonal issues. I remember one sentence at the end of Suruga Devil when Araragi says that making mistakes is part of being young and that spoke to me because it made me feel... wait, making mistakes is allowed? THAT WAS ALWAYS ALLOWED? Is it all about being an imperfect but growing being? And I was like, woah. Thank you Araragi.

What I'm meh about. There is certain emotional distance in the writing, and a lot of the times most of the emotional issues are reduced to monologues. I know, this is not an issue of Monogatari only but it exists everywhere, there are tons of literary classics that people love but where the writer feels either detached or just not affected enough by life. The one that comes to mind is Hopscotch that I read when I was 14. I don't like that because, if they decide to talk about you, with that kind of detachment, it sometimes feels like they are just examining you with a lens, they refuse to go to hell with you and get burnt (or they just can't), and I don't like that, I don't like when writers do that, they think they get you but they don't.

It is not a deal-breaker, while the series won't make you feel like you are mentally ill, it will make you think, what if you were mentally ill? And that is still valuable in its own, the problem comes when this lens takes an issue the author doesn't know shit about and turns it into objectification because they don't get the emotional nuances of the issues. Case on point, Hanekawa Black, which is just cringe, the "evil personality that takes over when you had enough shit" which represents Dissociative Identity Disorder (The characters also said outloud her disorder, look up Tsubasa Cat 1 [Bakemonogatari Episode 11] around the 17:17 mark), that's the biggest and first error in the book when representing DID! Don't turn your DID character into freaking Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde because that shit is overdone as fuck, it was never that amusing, and reality is a lot more complicated. Yes, I know the point of a cartoon is to simplify things of real life so we can extrapolate them when seeing an issue like this in the world, but this kind of representation has never helped as writers think they do, so quit it!

What I don't like. Araragi. In the words of Kaiki, that guy is a criminal, he should be in jail, his creepyness towards minors is awful, and the show doesn't condemn him, it even shares and details it's perspective, what point did the gym scene in Kizumonogatari serve? None, it was all in his head, bullcrap. And that pisses me off, it pisses me off that to get to the good stuff I have to see him go back in time and raise child Hanekawa in his arms with joy because "she's flat" or that he attacks Mayoi on the back and gropes her! It's incredibly annoying and down right foul! For me this is not the kind of "hehe that guy so quirky" trait that the show thinks it is! It makes me think of the Amateur Kidnapper guy from Family Guy or something... anyway, you watch the show and you say, "the show would be infinitely better if he wasn't the main narrator". But then you have the arcs where he is not the narrator or protagonist, and something weird happens... the show gets more boring.

So what arcs do I remember did not have Araragi? Suruga Devil, Tsubasa Family, and Hitagi End. In Hitagi End we have Kaiki, whose cynicism is rather amusing a lot of the times and straight up true when he calls out Araragi being a creep, I really like this arc, but with Suruga Devil and Tsubasa Family there is that feeling of disconnection all the way to the end, there is a lot of monologuing and you think a lot, but you don't feel a lot. And since we don't have those comedic moments that Araragi had, that feeling lasts for each whole arc! In a way, it alarms me because it makes me think back and say... wait, were all the comedic moments in the show caused by Araragi being a creep? Is this the only way the writers can break the tension or show emotion? What on earth is this show?

And overall while there is a lot that I like in the show, the Marienbadisms, the colors, the atmosphere, the "magic realism," I feel that most of this is just style, while the substance of the show is just okay and downright weak at times. I know that by watching only the anime and not reading the novels, I will be missing out of development or whatever, but I don't feel like reading them, my spider sense says... nah. Like, I remember Horiyima was great and honest and the emotions were more palpable, it just showed us very little of them, that's a show that makes me say, okay I'm seeing great stuff, you are just cutting a lot, that is a show that it would be worth reading the manga for because what you see on the surface is great, just split into pieces. I have the feeling that, if I read Monogatari, it will be just more monologuing. To be honest, the first Bakemonogatari episode is still the best one in the entire series because it has this melancholy all over it, but after a while you start to feel there is no melancholy in the rest of the show as there is that emotional distance.

What I will hate the most about this anime though is that it turned Kiss Shot into Shinobu, a fate worse than death. Just think about it. A full grown woman turning into a position of full dependence with a man. While Kiss Shot's reasoning is that she doesn't want to fight anymore and wants peace, the age regression really rubs me the wrong way. It feels to me like how a predator would frame in his mind a successful grooming in his mind. I am overly paranoid with this particular plot point, but Araragi's characterization doesn't help at all and it makes this particular bit in the entire series creep me out extremely so. I will never forgive you Araragi.

7/10

[literary-illuminati]

Book Review 62 – The Ballad of Perilous Graves by Alex Jennings

This is the latest book I never would have heard of if it wasn’t for an award nomination (WFA for Best Novel, in this case). Overall, I was left dearly wishing I had liked it more than I did – it was so thoroughly soaked in imagery and references to a whole milieu I only barely know enough about to catch all the references flying over my head. Unfortunately by the final act the whole thing just collapses into a mess of spectacle without much in the way of connective tissue or context.

The story follows Perilous “Perry” Graves, his kid sister, and his best friend/crush Peaches (who is clearly an ersatz Pippy Longstocking but for some reason this is almost literally the only reference the book doesn’t explicitly acknowledge). They live in Nola, a fantastical alternate New Orleans full of zombies, animate graffiti, sky trolleys, and music that is indistinguishable from magic. After the magical songs that sustain the city escape/are stolen, it’s up to the three of them to get them back before Stagger Lee (the song) hunts down and kills the others for his mysterious partner. There’s also an extended subplot with Casey, a recently returned Katrina refugee in what seems to be our world, discovering that his and his cousin’s graffiti and other art is very literally magic and can come alive when he isn’t looking. Things just generally get messier and harder to explain from there.

Above everything else, the book’s a love letter to New Orleans. The sheer fascination and affection Jenning’s has for the place just about oozes out of every page. The geography and the culture and especially and overwhelmingly the art. Now I know barely anything about modern pop music and even less about classic jazz, but Jennings is either a massive fan or an incredibly confident bullshitter, and either way it’s an absolutely loadbearing part of the book – famous jazz musicians appear as magicians and ghosts, snatches and stanzas of different songs are quoted liberally, and of course the songs themselves are the driving engine of the plot. I, at least, just kind of let all the references wash over me and try to figure them out from context, and also started listening to the namedropped songs as I read. But even without really knowing the subject, the sheer love for the culture that just suffuses the book is really incredible endearing. Which is good, because it’s absolutely the main actual draw here.

The dialogue also deserves a shoutout – both because there’s a fun line you can draw between the characters that talk like actual people and the ones that intentionally present themselves like cartoon characters, and also because it’s the first book I can recall reading this year where people speak in AAVE. Plus, as a matter of style, when songs or certain ghosts were speaking telepathically the book used a different font for what they were saying, which is the sort of flourish that I always like when it’s not too overused.

While the surreal, exaggerated sort of magical absurdism works very well for the setting of Nola, the plot is...just kind of a mess. You almost get the sense the book was written in one sprint and then never revised – the protagonists are constantly getting help out of nowhere exactly as they need it to solve their latest problem, and revelations of plot critical information exactly when it’s needed to keep things moving abound, whether there’s any setup or justification for it or not. The metaphysics that underpin Nola are all vague and confused, which really wouldn’t be an issue if the entire third act didn’t turn on on the villain being wrong about them. The end result is a finale that feels like a bunch of big set piece scene the author had been looking forward to writing without any real connective tissue linking or supporting them.

Also, like – it is a major part of Perry’s arc that a year before the events of the book he had a run in with a monstrous caricature of a Jim Crow era hanging judge, and it has traumatized him sufficiently that he had steadfastly refused to try and do any magic since. The judge is later revealed to be an escaped bit of living graffiti, with absolutely zero relevance or deeper significance, and never appears on-screen again. Which just feels like some sort of narrative malpractice, honestly.

I’m also just left a bit disappointed with the villain – or, specifically, the wasted potential. Like, the idea of The Storm as this primeval elemental force that wants nothing more than to drown the world is a pretty great villain for a magical New Orleans, honestly. And there was something there of graffiti and music and just art being this engine of joyous hubris letting the city exist in defiance of its inevitable doom – but you really have to dig to get at it, and most of the other personal plots and heroes journey stuff burying it was far less compelling to me.

Anyway yeah, in the end this very much felt like it was style over substance, but on the other hand the style was excellent. In the end I kind of feel like this was ill-served as a book? Not that it’s necessarily impossible to write a novel that’s mostly about music, but this was really begging for a medium that could include a soundtrack.

[hyba]

Flashcarding The City of Light - Issues, Troubleshooting, Avoiding Major Edits

I never got the chance to flashcard The City of Light (I was focused on The Pirates of Sissa for quite a while), but now that I am, I'm so glad that I decided to do this.

I'm finding issues with sequence of events, and already considering solutions. And there are elements missing in-between certain plot events, which is really obvious when you look at it from a bird's eye view. And then there are reactive/active scenes, and plot holes that have popped up regarding timeline, and so on.

Example: Someone observes how the mysterious disease works and does end up having a very spot-on theory which they share with Alev. The problem? This doesn't happen until quite late in the story - which isn't an issue in and of itself - but the person makes these observations much earlier on. The flashcards helped me see just how far apart the two events are, when really they should be much closer together. What kept them from telling Alev right away? Why would they have waited that long? Honestly, there's no good reason; so one of the two has to happen:

the observation (& theory) happens later

they tell Alev much sooner in the storyline

This is going to end up shifting some other events, but at least it's going to make sense as far as behaviour goes. This is really important to me because sometimes I have characters behave in ways that are convenient to plot but not true to how they would actually behave, and a lot of the times that I've found myself cornered in my own writing, it generally comes from that.

Another example: At some point, Lucius does something that has him branded as a traitor, and it's directly related to the Festival of Light, which is an annual festival held in Valgus. I never had an issue with this plot point, but now that I'm looking at the events in sequence and making sure that they make sense, I'm second-guessing it. Given that the king has just died, does this make sense? Would they hold the festival still, or would they decide not to out of respect for the mourning period? And then, if that's the case, Lucius never does the thing he does, and he never gets branded a traitor... But he still has to end up in the Black Desert, outside of Valgan walls. So the story shifts significantly.

.

A lot of this is stuff that I would have caught in the revision stage, and laying them out like this probably makes these issues seem glaringly obvious, but it's hard to keep track of it all sometimes, and we overlook things. Catching them early on is helping me avoid major rewrites.

I think that's what I really like about this method, actually. I get to easily identify big issues in the plot (without the clutter of a manuscript, which tends to overwhelm me) and I get to fix those issues directly in the drafting stage. Ideally, if I was a complete plotter, I'd be able to fix the issues before even drafting.

Anyway, highly recommend. You can find my free guide to flashcarding by joining my newsletter if you want to give it a go but aren't sure where/how to get started. Flashcarding is probably one of the easiest-to-use approaches I've stumbled on, so I think every writer can make really good use out of it.

[finalfantasythoughts]

FFXV Thoughts - Development and Evolution

FFXV is one of my favorite entries in the franchise, in my personal top 3/5 (controversial though that may be). However, it's no secret that the game had a development riddled with problems and the result is felt in various aspects of the game. This also ties to why people prefer the "game" (at least the very limited parts we saw) when it was still Versus XIII or just under Nomura's direction. I wanted to look at some of the issues with the game as well as point out how certain elements from the old trailers translated into the final game, even though certain people try to make it out that XV and VsXIII share nothing but a few locations and characters because the final product didn't align with what they thought the game would be. I'm not going to mention combat really because while a bit oversimplified, I still enjoyed it (my biggest gripe is how awkwardly magic was handled). I know I'm beating a dead horse and some people are over the whole situation, but I had a lot of thoughts and wanted to share them as somebody who played XV years later so I had no expectations for a game that despite being shown off over many years, didn't necessarily reveal much. This will contain spoilers for the whole of XV so here's your warning.

I'll start by saying that one of the biggest losses for me personally was the change of the opening the game in Insomnia through the invasion to Kingsglaive. I see why they made the film and I enjoyed it while watching it, but I do wish we could've played it, as that was pivotal to the story and old trailers suggest it was planned to have a lot of introductions there, both character and plot-wise. Not to mention I'm just not very attached to Nyx and the movie original characters. Noctis' Japanese voice actor even revealed that about half of the original script took place here, which makes sense that it'd be dialogue heavy due to character/plot/world introductions, tutorials, early boss fights, etc. (correct me if I'm wrong, but I believe FF7 OG's script spends something like 30% in just Midgar, for comparison). My other biggest loss is the idea that we may have been able to interact more with Tenebrae at some point (a "leak" claimed it would be akin to a dungeon, but who knows).

I do think it's exaggerated how much changed though, at least from a view of the major story beats. Certain things got recontextualized (Kingsglaive being the largest example), but I think more survived than people think. They even used Nojima's original script as the base of the final game. There are many posts that show all the parallels and references to the old trailers, though they are spread to the game, DLC, anime and movie. It also seems that even a lot of Fabula Nova Crystallis elements were preserved, just using different names and replacing the FNC gods with the Astrals. Some of it, like the "eyes that see the light of expiring souls" (most likely a take on the concept of the Eyes of Etro) seem to have been cut, though Noct and Luna are still chosen ones by the gods, and possibly had near-death moments (Noct in the anime, scene with Luna being abused that was cut). Another plot that seems to involve sleep (rumored to be a dream world or somewhere Noct would dream of dead loved ones, something I believe connects to Hamlet if I remember correctly) was seemingly cut, though there are loose moments where Noctis sleeps/dreams (Luna's death, in the crystal with Bahamut, platinum demo, dreams of the Omen trailer aka why Regis sent him away, etc.). I do agree that the final version was in need of presenting itself better; fleshing out characters, events, and locations would have been beneficial for the story. Instead the guys were taken out of infiltrations and big moments regarding the empire which was somewhat disappointing, as the old trailers and interviews made it seem that they would be consistently involved in the politics/war.

At a time, the keyword of Versus XIII was apparently 'misery' and this was appropriate for all the characters. I would say this is still the case; after the fall of Insomnia, Eos is thrown into chaos and each character suffers. Noct is forced to come to terms with his position, destiny, etc. while trying to process the death of his father (and eventually Luna), destruction of his city, etc. Ignis has to worry about Noct and sees a vision of his death in his DLC, as well as going blind which brings into question his value to combat. Prompto has his birth exposed which throws him off psychologically, killing Verstael, not to mention that he was already self conscious and unsure about being part of the group. Gladio (admittedly isn't as intense as the others) has to worry about Iris post-invasion, his pride being wounded easily by Ravus, and feeling unsatisfied with Noct's shift into king. Other characters like Ravus, Luna, Regis, etc. also go through 'misery' throughout the battles with the Empire. The bleak world described in early interviews is still present, especially after the Starscrourge continues to spread and nights get longer, aided by the empire's manufacturing of daemons and invasions of prominent territories (remember in the World of Ruin section they say Lestallum in nearly the only safe place left in Eos). Nomura also stated that despite this being the main theme, it would still be balanced so as to not make the game feel oversaturated with sad scenes and be unpleasant, which I think is present in the final game. I see people expecting essentially no humor or things that are present in every FF, and personally I don't believe XV under Nomura would've done away with some of these things. In my opinion, this game was going to be okay with getting darker, but I also think people blow out of proportion/had the wrong expectations about how far it'd go.

Another argument I see a lot is that the final version of Noctis is completely changed from the original version, which I don't really agree with. Early trailers with the more brooding, cold and overpowered Noct seem mostly (if not entirely) conceptual, not to mention that Nomura specifically said not to let the trailers fool you into thinking these were good descriptors for his personality and that presenting him this way was a conscious decision (probably because it looks cool if we're being honest). In later trailers, we hear Noct speak and he sounds pretty "shounen" (not a bad thing) and his conversation with Stella also paints him as shy but fairly friendly. Now I think the final game version made some changes and shifted his arc to be more about responsibility than revenge (which is what people seemed to predict his arc would be from the old trailers), but again, I think more was preserved than people give credit for.

Then there's the Stella vs Luna debate. This has always fascinated me because even though the interaction between Noctis and Stella is nice (and I wish we'd gotten something similar with Luna), we know virtually nothing about Stella. In fact, it seems between initial planning stages and the 2013 trailer (aka Stella's last appearance), her role had changed. Storyboards show her seemingly as a childhood friend to Noctis like Luna. It's possible they met but didn't know who each other were and would still "meet" for the first time at the party in Insomnia, but I believe Nomura also said that he didn't really like Stella's character when he made her and that she had grown into one that the he liked over time (including when scenarios would've been finished). Between that and the fact that there was no mention of the Stella vs Noctis fight for years before her replacement, it really seems like once the scenario was more developed, her role had changed. I actually like Luna's character as well, she just happens to be in the camp of characters who didn't have their story presented very well. Looking at the XV media, her story is interesting; she essentially is a hostage to the empire and has a fated role forced on her, which she grows into and accepts. From what we see she's determined and capable, yet also reckless at times, and it's a shame we didn't really get to know her because she was interesting in her own right (and while she was a "strong" female lead, I do think the devs overhyped this fact for how little we end up seeing her and how many lines of hers were devoted to Noctis).

People also complain a lot about the Noctis and Luna romance (and some believe there would be better romance with Stella, but I'm pretty sure Nomura said they wouldn't be romantic). To me, the romance was more so born out of Noctis and Luna's high mutual respect for one another combined with cherished childhood memories. Both of their lives changed after Tenebrae was invaded; Noctis was growing up and learning more about his role to someday be king and Luna was a tool of the empire, replaced her late mother as oracle, and was growing physically weaker due to communicating with the gods (not to mention the scenes of abuse that were cut). The fact that Noctis and Luna desired to be around each other always made sense to me and their relationship was tragic in the way of something that's always out of reach, but I feel like the marketing/a couple scenes made it seem like more of a true love story like other FF games which wasn't really the case.

Another point of contention is specifically derived from the 2013 E3 trailer where it was publicly announced Versus would be XV. That trailer featured a lot of crazy set pieces moving through buildings and the moment leading up to Leviathan that lead people to lament those sections of the game for not looking as it did here. The problem is that those seem to be mock up "target goal" looking sections that seem to demonstrate the level of spectacle the engine could create but no guarantee that it would run properly on PS4. People also complain about the Altissia map size being so much smaller in the actual game, but it's possible that all that map in the trailer would only be "explored" in the scripted event we saw.

World of the Versus Epic is another interesting thing that everybody seems to run with as proof that XV was to be a trilogy. Yes Nomura seemed to hint that XV would not be a standalone title (then not long after said nothing was confirmed), but there are so many possibilities. It could've been more like the VII Compilation with spin-off prequel/sequel games or movies or anime specials, etc. I feel like XV was not going to be structured like the VII Remake, and if it were to get full blown sequels, would be more like KH or X-2, XIII-2, etc. especially since Versus XIII's script was completed in 2010 for a single PS3 title (unless the script got significantly longer). If anything, this "epic" could've been a way to continue using XV's assets to carry fans over until Remake and XVI (I believe Roberto Ferrari said that Versus at one point had a tentative date for release in 2014). The only other point is that Noctis' VA said there were "three times as many scenarios" and so some got cut. Now every game seems to have cut scenarios, and given the fact that FFXV has a shorter runtime than the majority of FF games for main story, the only way I could see a trilogy is if they were all relatively short games. But even then, considering the amount of characters and areas that could've been fleshed out more (not to mention all the script that changed for Kingsglaive), many of the cut scenarios probably could've fit in the game had the team had more time/focused less on the open world.

One other thing that I wish had carried over more was the FMV/CG cutscenes and some of the art direction of the older versions that gave the game a bit more of a grandiose feeling, not that I dislike the final's more grounded take. I have a feeling that the lack of these might come from shifting resources to companion media and the fact that they added different costumes, but I loved the aesthetic and feeling these scenes added to the trailers. The older direction also leaned into a more "Shakespearian" vibe. Those elements are still very prevalent in the final version (there's many posts that explain the Hamlet inspiration), but I think some of the scenes that only appeared in trailers gave the game a bit more of a "dreamy" and tense, mysterious atmosphere that I wished would've been pulled from more. Not to mention the trailers always showed intense fights (Stella and Ravus one-on-one's, Noctis and soldiers, empire and Regis, etc.) which didn't get the same focus in the final game.

Finally, there's the theory that KH4 or a possible game based on the Verum Rex commercial from KH3 will be the "true" Versus. Personally, from what we've seen so far it seems like Nomura is using KH as a space to use some concepts that didn't carry over to XV, specifically things like having an open city space, some of the art direction and some aspects of combat. As I've said, I think the XV universe preserved more of the story than some people think, so between that and the fact that KH is it's own universe that doesn't really use some FF things (empires, FNC lore, etc.), I think he's just entertaining some of the things he still wanted to do something with while also possibly taking shots at XV and SE. Could be wrong once more is revealed, but that's how it appears to me.

Anyway, this has gotten incredibly long so thanks for reading if you got this far! To be clear, I really do love XV but some fleshing out of concepts would've done it good. I'll probably make more posts on elements of XV and how they relate to old concepts/FNC etc. so stick around if you're interested in that at all (as well as posts about other FF games, just in a XV mindset since I recently replayed).

Here are some of the links with good amounts of info in one place, if my info seems incorrect or anything, I apologize

[fantasyinvader]

I think the issue with Houses is how the storytelling fails it through two different, though interconnected, means. In wanting the players to immerse themselves in Fodlan, the devs made it so that the little details matter as the player connects the dots. For instance, the Disquiet event in Safflower is supposed to call Edelgard's C+ Support, itself the first step in playing Flower, into question if the player picked a certain option during that support and the results of that option tie into the second step of going to the coronation. It's also supposed to be recalled a little later in the route, where Edelgard reveals her own views and where she got them. Hubert's lines are also supported by an earlier scene in White Clouds, A Form of Grief, where Thales reveals the purpose behind the experiments. That one scene with Hubert calls the entire route, especially what Edelgard tells you, into question.

The game is loaded with things like this to the point you practically need to set up a string-board to connect everything. But to ultimately understand what the game is saying, you need to understand the symbols it uses. You need to recognize the symbols, how they are being used and what they say. This becomes a problem when the exist outside of the narrative itself, like calling the scene where the BEs pledge themselves to Edelgard "Path of Thorns." It also becomes a problem when the translation takes liberties with the script, as those symbols can be altered (such as changing Safflower to Crimson Flower, with Edge of Dawn making it out to be a red rose) or even removed (such as Dimitri calling Safflower the path of the beast, the antithesis of Nirvana).

That translation issue can extend also extend into the first point, where if the dots are changed it changes the story. For instance, in the Japanese script Edelgard will tell Claude she doesn't believe their ideals are the same. Up until this point, it was made out that Edelgard and Claude weren't that different except that Edelgard would go to lengths that Claude wouldn't but this reveal makes it so that they weren't alike at all. Sure, they both wanted to get rid of the Church but it was ultimately for different ends. Claude wants to promote cultural exchange where no one is seen as an outsider, whereas Edelgard works towards the conquest of Fodlan and (according to the Japanese script for Caspar's endings) the world. They are ultimately two very different characters, but that is erased by the script instead saying their ideals aren't so different instead while also turning Rhea, arguably the game's true female lead, into a rage monster.

You could argue that the translation could be considered a third point all on it's own, but I think if the narrative was stronger, if it hadn't tried to play these games, the translation wouldn't have been able to do this. But because the game wants the player to figure out it's mysteries themselves, requiring knowledge of other routes or outcomes of decisions despite the devs saying they thought most players would only do a single playthrough, and using symbolism not as a means to enhance the story but to clarify it, everything is left to be inferred. I am genuinely curious if the localization is the result of Treehouse's minunderstanding of the plot, which would explain why Nintendo did player surveys asking them if they understood the plot. Feels like they fell for the trick the devs intended for the players, as ironic as that sounds.

It's okay to have 10k years of lore and backstory, but you need to focus on the main story first and foremost.

[spider-xan]

Okay, I was finally able to find a PDF of the Hobgoblin arc in the original USM comics and read it this morning after putting it off for years; for context, I followed USM as it was coming out during the 2000s and stopped when Gwen was killed off during the Carnage arc, only sporadically checking things years after print, so technically I had last seen the USM version of Harry at the end of the Ultimate Six storyline way back during its original run, and all I knew is that Harry died eventually, though I misremembered when exactly.

Anyway, I wasn't going to liveblog my read through, though I did wish I had jotted down thoughts as I was going along bc I have a lot of general and specific thoughts that I can't remember off the top of my head, and maybe I will go back later to jog my memory, but here are my main thoughts on the storyline:

It's just okay? It wasn't bad, but I wouldn't say it's good either - the most accurate description I can think of is that it felt more like set up for the next Goblin arc than a complete story in and of itself bc most of it is just Harry running around for exposition until he becomes the Hobgoblin unintentionally right at the end and it's over in one issue.

I think I would have enjoyed the story a lot more if I had read it as a teenager bc as an adult, I just really didn't care about all the high school dating drama, and the love triangle but not really between Peter, Harry, and MJ is a major part of the character drama, and I just don't find it compelling now, even if it makes sense for characters who are supposed to be fifteen.

USM had this weird thing where each arc was heavily decompressed, but the overall pacing both in terms of in universe events and the plotting of arcs was highly compressed in that ten years of real time publishing takes places within a year of the in universe timeline, so major events happen at a breakneck pace within months of Peter becoming Spider-Man - and Harry as a character definitely suffers from this bc this version of him feels very underdeveloped; from what I remember about the issues that one before this arc, he disappears for very long stretches of time where he reappears for a few issues before disappearing again, and he doesn't really get much depth as a character or in terms of his relationships, especially with Peter, like, tbh I still feel like I don't know anything about this Harry and had a time really buying them as close childhood friends forever in this universe, so the intended emotional moments didn't hit as hard for me as they were supposed to, and Harry's general absence is definitely why so much of the arc was just exposition for setting up the next Goblin arc.

I generally like Bagley's art, but I do think he has a problem with consistency when it comes to faces (and same face, especially for women) and his faces sometimes look weirdly rubbery and like people are melting, though in fairness, I remember USM being on a fast schedule, so it's not really his fault - anyway, with Harry, his design is inconsistent in a jarring way bc in some panels, he does look like a teenager, but in other panels, he looks like a grown man in his twenties or even thirties, which makes the intended hard hitting moments of him just being a child kind of awkward.

There is a certain scene that is just awful in terms of the copaganda (taps the sign that says that Spider-Man is not ACAB) that reads even worse today, and it's weird bc you could do a reading of the scene as being about police corruption, but it's framed as a positive bonding moment between two cops (Spider-Man not beating the Spider-Cop allegations) - though I suddenly remembered that I think Jean DeWolffe in this universe turns out to be a corrupt cop (shaking my head to show I think all cops are corrupt) instead of the Good Cop TM she is in the 616 comics, so maybe this scene was supposed to be read as shady and not like girlboss cop thing.

[queen--of--maggots]

About Rem’s feelings for Misa

@airsteelport Hi. It’s been a while, but here’s the promised explanation of why I don’t see Rem’s feelings for Misa necessarily as romantic.

For anyone else who may read this, I’m totally ok with people shipping Remisa. The same goes for people who want to see Rem’s feelings for Misa as romantic. This is only my opinion on the subject and not a personal attack on anyone. If you disagree with me, that’s fine. But please, just ignore this post and move on with your day.

My problem with seeing Rem’s feelings for Misa as romantic is mainly a narrative issue. Humans and Shinigami aren’t equal in DN, and the same goes, in my opinion, for the standards for establishing romantic feelings.

First, I want to explain what I mean when I say the two species aren’t equal. In stereotypical fantasy settings and often in sci-fi as well, the different species fill in the same role within their universes. They may look different and have different cultures, but they all have a similar degree of development and education, and their biology is often comparable. Even the cultural differences are usually superficial. It’s mostly “human culture” but shifted towards a certain aspect (“human culture”, but more nature loving, more into war, or more into science and so on). Seeing something drastically different is rare. Often, you could even exchange one species for another, apply minor adjustments, and you wouldn’t break the established rules of the universe.

With Shinigami, that’s not the case. Shinigami kill humans and add the remaining lifespan to their own. Humans are food, so to say, and the only true “food source” Shinigami have. The relationship between the two species is a predator-prey relationship. Giving a Death Note to a human doesn’t change much in this regard. With more direct interactions, humans just become something similar to livestock or pets. Maybe it’s not exactly the same since both species have a similar degree of intelligence. Still, they aren’t equal, humans stand far below Shinigami in the food chain. Ryuk’s behavior toward Light shows this well. He spends six years with him, plays with him, has fun with him, and in the end, he kills him without a second thought, even though Ryuk and Light keep better company than Misa and Rem throughout the story. In the Death Note universe, a Shinigami loving a human is basically the equivalent of a human loving a talking, intelligent animal. And to make this believable (for me), it needs a lot of effort in terms of writing than what we get in DN.

As for Gelus, I have less of a problem seeing it as romantic love since the narrative is different. Well, I wouldn’t say it’s pure love, more the distorted simp version. Anyway, we never see Gelus’ story, only its ending. The development happened off-screen before the story started. I’m willing to take this as an exposition. Rem does have this luxury. Her relationship with Misa develops during the events. She observes Misa for eight days and gives her the Death Note in March 2004. Then, a bit more than a month later, this scene happens,

and a few weeks later, this scene.

That’s a quick progression. The question is: what changed Rem’s mind? My problem is we never see any development between Misa and Rem, even though it should be there. Rem simply jumps from “I’m not dying for you” to “I must protect you” because it’s convenient for the plot. I can accept that Rem finds Misa fascinating, but I don’t even know why Rem should like Misa to begin with. If I should be convinced that Rem has romantic feelings for Misa, I first must see what makes her so special that Rem can see more in Misa than an interesting animal. Misa isn’t friendly to Rem, only polite. She’s even more friendly to Ryuk than to Rem. She doesn’t care about Rem and only wants Light’s attention. She tells Rem that she wants her dead. She promises not to tell anyone how you can kill a Shinigami, just to tell Light immediately. She expects Rem’s help with Higuchi but never expresses any kind of gratitude. Rem hates Higuchi’s selfishness, and yet Misa is equally selfish. Overall, Rem receives indifference to light hostility from Misa. Nothing about this is lovable, appealing, or elevates Misa above the rest of her species. Why should Rem fall in love with someone like that?

Ok, technically, you can fall for an asshole, for example, because one confuses physical or sexual attraction for romantic feelings. It could be a similar situation to the one we have with Misa and Light. I would be ok with that if not for the inequality of the species. If Rem would have been a human or if Shinigami were former humans and only became Shinigami after their death, then pure physical/sexual attraction would be a reasonable explanation. Or if at least Shinigami do not feed on human lifespans and there isn’t this huge power discrepancy, I would be somewhat ok with this as well since seeing humans as equal would be less of an issue. But Shinigami aren’t humans or former humans (manga canon). They aren’t even deities. They are a real alien lifeform in the DN universe.

The proof for this is here when Rem implies that Shinigami underwent an evolutional process at one point and adapted their eating habits.

If Shinigami are aliens, so to say, is Misa physically attractive to Rem? Questionable. Wouldn’t you be more attracted to something that fits the standards of your own species? OK, Shinigami don’t have a uniform look. Shinigami may exist, who look similar to Misa. And at least most seem to be humanoid, but not all. So, does someone’s look even matter to Shinigami? And if it doesn’t matter (that much), how likely is it that physical attraction alone is enough for Rem to fall in love? Also, in case one’s look doesn’t matter, wouldn’t there be other determining factors for attractiveness, like scent? I would be more or less neutral on this one, but there is also another factor, namely this rule:

“There are male and female Shinigami, but it is neither permitted nor possible for them to have sexual relations with humans. They also cannot have sex with each other.”

Shinigami can be male or female, but they don’t have reproductive organs. This could be the result of evolution as well. They likely went from only sexual or sexual and asexual reproduction to only asexual reproduction. They have to reproduce somehow. However, if a species only reproduces asexually, a partner is not necessary, and there is no evolutional advantage of romantic love being a thing anymore. We know it is possible for them to experience it, a relic from former times, maybe, but falling in love with someone would probably be harder for Shinigami than it is for humans.

The rule also states that sexual activities with humans that do not require sexual organs are taboo as well. It’s even punishable. Therefore, relationships between humans and Shinigami are likely considered something disgusting in the Shinigami society, even if they exist only on an emotional level. Would Rem just fall head over heels in love with Misa without any resistance? She’s probably several decades or even centuries old and not a hormone-controlled teenager. She should have some emotional control. Also, I don’t think you can get rid of the social norms you’ve followed for your entire life in a few weeks or months.

It also seems like Shinigami aren’t social beings. They live together but apparently have little interest in the well-being of other individuals. Rem has known Gelus for quite some time. They are either acquaintances or friends. Yet, she doesn’t even try to stop him from killing himself to save Misa. Furthermore, all interactions between Shinigami were nothing more than short conversations before they minded their own business again. Nothing implied that they share a deeper bond with others. Another point that probably makes it harder for Shinigami to develop meaningful feelings for someone else.

In conclusion, Rem isn’t a human, and from how the species is set up, I can’t just apply human standards in terms of love. Shinigami probably don’t fall in love easily to begin with. And falling in love with a human would require additional steps since they must see them as equals first. That’s why I’m not convinced that Rem has romantic feelings for Misa. Physical attraction could be possible, but I don’t find it very likely if that’s the only reason. You could convince me if there would be more (or any) commitment from Misa’s side, but there is none. Misa couldn’t care less about Rem.

I’m ok with Rem loving Misa in a non-romantic way, though. If we go by the human-animal analogy from the beginning, people love their pets, even the ones that aren’t affectionate, as friends, family members, or children. And there are also people who would risk their life for their pets. Add to this Rem’s fascination with selflessness. That is more reasonable to me than her seeing Misa as a potential partner. (I still think Rem mainly likes Misa because the plot requires it, but non-romantic love is less farfetched to me as an in-universe explanation than romantic love.)

I want to mention that I was (and still kinda am) a massive fan of the DN Shinigami and the Shinigami realm. From when I first saw DN, I sucked up everything about them, and I guess this shaped my view a lot. Most people in the fandom seem to have little interest in Shinigami as a species and only care about the interactions between Ryuk, Rem, and, to a lesser extent Sidoh, with the human characters. So if someone sees Shinigami only as humanoid monsters, then most things I mentioned here don’t really matter to them.

[picturejasper20]

Moon Girl and Devil Dinosaur ¨A Devil-ish Birthday¨ episode analysis

When Season 2-A got released last year, i wrote an analysis of the episode ¨The Devil You Know¨ and Devil’s character arc until that point of the show. Now recently Season 2-B got released and it has one Devil Dinosaur centric episode titled a ¨A Devil-ish Birthday¨.

Even though the plot trope in this episode has been done in other animated series before, i still would like to do a general analysis of this since it is the last Devil episode from the show and because it serves as conclusion for Devil’s character arc.

The episode starts with the Moon Girl team hosting a Moon Girl fan event where fans can ask questions. One of the kids, who is dressed as Devil, is curious about when is Devil’s birthday. Devil is confused by this question since he doesn’t have a ¨birthday¨ on his own, he listens to one of the reporters talks about what a birthday party is but quickly gets heartbroken when he realizes he doesn’t have one unlike other people.

In the next scene Devil is seen crying in the lair about lacking a proper birthday. This in part has to do with the general feeling he has of not liking missing out things and be left out that was explored in previous episodes.

Suddenly Devil gets a call from the ABC group, which he has remained friends with after they changed their ways following the events of ¨The Devil You Know¨. Devil runs to the lair and sees that everything is dark. Then he gets surprised by ABC having organized a surprise birthday party for him. Devil is deeply touched by their gesture and wants to stay with them. But he gets a call from Lunella, telling him that they need him back home.

Back in the Moon Girl’s lair, Devil is met with a suprise party organized by the Lafayette on their own. The idea is to turn Devil into small size so he is able to hang out with the family inside the house, Devil is very happy for this and he lets himself be turned small to go to the party. All seems to be going well until he gets a call from the ABC with Pebbles on it, who flew on plane all the way to the LES to make it to Devil’s party.

Devil finds himself in a situation he hasn’t been before- he has two birthday parties happening in separate places at the same time and he doesn’t know what to do. He hasn’t had so many people to hang out ever since he arrived through the portal in the LES. He is usually used to be around Lunella and Casey or playing on his own wandering through the streets. He doesn’t want to disappoint anyone by just staying only in one party.

For his luck, Devil happens to find a cloning device that Lunella mentioned earlier in the Moon Girl fan event. Devil comes with the idea of creating a clone so he is able to be in both parties at the same time and make everyone happy. He and the clone switch places every time a certain time has passed and go to the other party. The issue is that Devil overlooks a warning from the cloning label that says that the clone shouldn’t consume sugar or they would lose control of themselves if they do. He uses the device to make a clone of him, which looks a bit different from him and is more clumsly. He explains the plan to Clone Devil and they decide to carry it out.

For a while all seems to be going according to plan, nobody seems to notice that there are two Devils and the two Devils keep switching places without any problem. Both parties have a fun time celebrating Devil’s ¨birthday¨.

The problem comes when Clone Devil is at the Lafayette’s party. They bring the birthday cake and Clone Devil is given a piece of it. Because clones aren’t supposed to consume sugar since it would make them unstable, Clone Devil starts to lose control and eats all the entire cake the family prepared for him. Devil and Clone Devil do more switches, without Devil not knowing that other party is being ruined by Clone Devil.

When it is his turn to go to the Lafayatte’s party, Devil finds that all the gifts have been destroyed by his clone, a similar thing happened in ABC’s party- it is a whole mess and everything is broken somehow. Devil decides to wait for Clone Devil to come and asks him what is he doing. In that moment Lunella and Casey and the ABC show up, getting suspicious of Devil’s strange behaviour.

They are offended when they find out that Devil created a clone to be in their parties at the same time. There is a bit of feeling betrayed for being lied to and anger for thinking Devil didn’t care about the parties. By trying to please everyone, Devil ended up making everyone unhappy and be upset with him. Although he had some good intentions, he still managed to make the mistake of lying to his friends and family instead of being honest with them.

Because Clone Devil had taken the cloning device earlier on, he covers himself with it, creating thousands and thousands of Devil clones. The group of clones cause chaos all over the Les and the two teams work together to get rid of all of them to city, with including getting rid of the original clone.

Devil faces the Clone Devil and tricks him into a cupcake that contains the reverse cloning device, making him disappear. Devil celebrates for a moment only to be interrupted by Lunella, reminding him of he was the one that started the problem in first place. Devil expresses being really sorry for lying and tells to Lunella that he would try be honest when a situation like this ever happens again.

Lunella, Casey and the ABC use a cupcake with a candle on it so Devil ¨makes his wish¨, then Devil realizes that he had what he wished for- being able to be with his family and friends celebrating the party all in the same place. The episode ends with Devil blowing up the candle and likely hanging out with the rest for what is left of the day.

¨A Devil-ish Birthday¨ has Devil finding himself in the new status quo that he wanted in Season 1 and Season 2 with being able to be part of the Lafayette family without any secrets and having other friends he can hang out with. The issue comes when he can’t decide who he is going to hang out when the situation comes out of fear of making the other group upset. This highlights that Devil wants to please others and make everyone happy, which can be a flaw for his character that he has to work on.

His conclusion to his character arc would be that he gets in the end what he was wishing for but he has to learn to be more honest with others and not so people-pleaser to avoid making similar mistakes like he did in this episode.

[lakesbian]

@girlstare-too-close-to-the-sun tagging you in a rb for typing space purposes. im in an essay mood today sorry if you didnt want an essay. the thing is that i do like evette, for a certain definition of like. devoid of context, evette's personality & the actions she takes are amusing. her social ineptitude, bluntness, bizarre incoherent schemes, and looney-tunes shenanigans are pretty fun to watch. i liked when she slid naked and covered in soap down several flights of stairs and threw crushed glass at people.

the thing about arc 14 is that, if you take it as a series of isolated scenes--wherein the quality of the overall arc is determined based on the pacing of those scenes, or if they have engaging dialogue, or if there's tension, or if they're written in a poignant tone--then yeah, arc 14 is overall pretty good. however: if you assess arc 14's quality based on its position in the larger story, with the expectation that each arc in the story should develop the ongoing narrative arcs, strengthen the intended character development, and support the story's themes...then arc 14 is where things start to go off the fucking rails in a way twig never recovers from.

especially if we add "has non-wince-worthy politics" to the list of traits we're expecting a good arc to have.

i'll start with the political criticism to get it out of the way before i get into the structural/narrative complaints. the first main issue w/ arc 14 is that it's kicked off by sy reacting to jessie's love confession with the exact same homophobic treatment he gave jamie, and this time, the narrative doesn't expect him to take any responsibility--he abandons jessie, and when she finds him at the end of the arc, she's the one to apologize to him for being upset that he mistreated her. (this problem will then go on to culminate in jessie transitioning pretty explicitly solely so that sylvester does not have to experience the discomfort of being around a boy he knows is attracted to him. this discomfort is portrayed as justified and completely unavoidable.)

secondly, sylvester is depicted as having what is essentially a badly written stereotype of DID/how DID is frequently misrepresented, and then the arc ends in sylvester realizing that he was just faking/pretending to be evette when jessie saves him w/ the power of friendship. i assume it's self-evident why this is not good.

this also neatly segues into my structural complaints. it is just not well composed with regards to the ongoing relationship drama and character arcs. frankly, twig is at its worst when it's slogging through overly-tedious descriptions of sy (or sy as evette) getting into generic action-y trouble--and that holds true even when i'm conceding that the evette scenes were on the better-written side of the action-y trouble scale. twig is at its best when the unique character dynamics of the lambs are explored. sylvester just fucked absolutely everything up with lillian and jessie, two of the most important & integral people to him, but instead of exploring the consequences of his actions, or how he's going to navigate those outcomes, he just....fucks off to do random things in the city for an arc. of course he doesn't have to reckon with it in an interesting way--it's completely valid for straight boys to be viscerally discomforted by a male friend's attraction to them, so jessie will apologize to him! all better! what about his break-up with lillian? uh, no need to worry about all that, he's busy doing Random Action Stuff.

and frankly? his reaction, and the arc as a whole, pretty clearly only exist to justify sy randomly being in the right place to meet mauer again & have mauer drop the Plot Reveal of the academy child-trafficking black market. it's just kinda. shoddy writing. obviously all story events exist to justify further story events, but this particular arc feels largely like something that's just happening to sy, very arbitrarily. there's no meaningful outside impetus driving it, so we need his internal impetus to carry the weight. but his internal impetus is kinda just...dumb, as far as character motivations go. the narrative feels hazy and nonsensical, even if the individual scenes might come off as coherent. it's a little dreamlike in a bad way. it's nowhere near as interesting as the preceding emotional drama between him, lillian, and jessie.

and this whole turn of events really shoots the ongoing syjessie romance slow-burn arc in the foot. the book has spent the past several arcs emphasizing the point that, despite the points of pain between them, sy and jessie are fundamentally intellectually compatible in a way sy struggles to be with the other lambs, and they have become incredibly close. they're more or less in their Old Married Couple Era before they ever actually date, and if i remember correctly, sy actually explicitly compares them to one in his head during one of their arguments. but instead of having any kind of interesting character interaction with her where all of this romantic tension finally culminates, he just runs away, and the arc is spent on those random action-y activities. it's a let-down! twig's biggest flaw is fixating on a disproportionate amount of random action scenes literally every time it should be fixating on long-awaited character interaction payoffs instead.

there's also a lot of relatively smaller incoherent things about this arc that kind of get lost in the haze, but they're there. there's the random forced conflict between mauer and sy, and we never have nor will ever receive a reasonable justification for why sy is still anti-mauer. there is also no reasonable explanation for what seems to me like a major shift in mauer's characterization in this arc. there's the fact that sy's identity is depicted as completely liquidated in a way that, according to both real-life common sense and (iirc) many of the story's statements, should be irrecoverable--but nah, it's all basically fine again at the end of the arc, because jessie reminded him that he was Faking It.

it just is not good as a piece of twig. essentially nothing about it passes muster when assessed in the context of twig as a story that should be coherent. i wish it was good, but it is not. it's quite offensive politically, and then on top of that, it's just Not Good as part of the overall story structure & narrative arcs.

something evil about twig is that one of sylvester's most endearing, redeeming traits is his complete and utter love for and obsession with his aborted twin evette, but the monkeys paw curls in on that and it becomes one of The Worst Bits Of The Book

[temporalbystander]

So, due to the insanely complicated way my body handles sleep to energy conversion, I am once again up when I probably shouldn't be. I am also incredibly stuck in my current chapter because I've created the most bizarre paradox ever. Without giving anything away, there was supposed to be the start of another subplot here... That needs later parts of the subplot to work. So I'm pushing that plot back and focusing on another one instead and now need to think of what I need to change and what I can keep. There, all the stuff a casual viewer would care about done. Under the cut is... What it is.

Okay so last time I got stuck was Eris giving me an idea. The time before that was me realising how much I did with Faybon in my head (again thanks to Eris) and before that was my realisation to start the scene earlier and before that was to get out of Faybon's head when writing. Already done the last two so it was back to Eris for inspiration. Or rather a certain tag.

Seriously, the ml writing salt tag is one of the best tools a writer like me could have. See, in my insanity of subconsciously having Faybon fix all the issues and explore all the potential characterisation the show misses, I have a warped view of what the earlier seasons and episodes were truly like. I am human and my memory is very flawed. Secondly, as someone who could not finish season 5 because he had invested so much into his "in character" reactions and the episodes were deviating wildly from what the character expected of his friends, writing a post season 5 fic is difficult.

The ml writing salt tag? Helps solve both these issues. It brings up characterisation in season 5 episodes, compares it to earlier episodes and goes "ya done f***ed up." It gives a guide to what seen as the "fandom accepted" personality of these characters while suggesting multiple events where these characters didn't act that way. This gives me precious fuel to write either "how they should have behaved" or "questioning why they behaved that way."

Given this story now has a character capable off seeing every aspect of someone and absolutely no filter? This is gold! Of course that character not showing up in this chapter leads to the above problems.

In short, if you're worried you're deviating from "canon" personality then just look at the tag and ask which season the character is more like and see if you're doing any of the things people don't like.

[joshriku]

I guess CB fans already talk abt this a lot— or do they? tbh i dont rlly see much Cap comic talk from CB fans.. but tbh that's prob for the best b/c they are...... so bad, esp w/ this topic. they only had one decent story that had potential w/ WS in the aughts + the shieldra plot before going into their American BS —but nyways mayve its a good thing no one talks abt them bc Captain America comics were already not very good with the hydra-nazi thing but omg why am I finding out that the latest run dilutes/copsout the hydra origins even more....

It's rlly pmo b/c the hydra thing hasn't been treated well/properly ever but they retconned Hydra to be the original "big bad" and just a front for a group that precedes the nazis by decades 🙃🙃 and the amount of dogwhistles and poorly thought out historical references in the names/setup... ihate it!

Things like this r y this is the few times where i say the mcu version is better— up until like civil war or definitely afterwards —b/c at least they— until later on with Z3m0 —kept in mind that the villains are nazis 🙃 The amount of Cold War politics the Cap franchise— and tbh in the Black Widow side too once they started to retcon them together —throws in to make hydra some generic "anti USA" villain and sidestep the whole "hydra being nazis + part of the US government and keeping a major character as an enslaved WW2 POW as a major foundation of Cap mythos" thing. Now they obscure the origins of the hydra stuff even more and its so...... i guess theyre trying to make the whole Captain America schtick seem less bad if the nazi villains the story keeps downplaying/ignoring the impact of just keep getting made to be "less bad" over and over, but I hate it. And i hate even more how these types of stories littered all over the Cap mythos are seen as "not political" by a certain crowd, but theyre very political.it's just that the politics are so trash and distort serious historical references in service to American jingoist conception of history.

i have no idea how you ended up here. nonetheless iagree because captain america runs are just... so.. so... [vaguely gestures] and i hate the crowd surrounding it! i really like characters from the cap universe (sam/bucky/misty/nat) but it's literally impossible to read because it's so. so. so .. WEIRD! i think you're right bc back in the actual cap bucky run these topics were somewhat better handled? than the way they are now? and i don't want to blame everything on nick spencer's 2015 hydra cap thing but i will blame it all on it because oh my god the disservice that did to the way hydra is treated in these comics lmao. like you said they keep being like 'weeelll the nazis are *nooot so bad*'. like the red skull treatment they give the comics are so?? what?? hes a nazi?? why are you trying to get me to sympathize with the nazi?? I GET SUPER WEIRDED OUT WHENEVER I TRY TO READ AXIS FOR EVENT REASONS BC OF.. THE RED SKULL BEING WRITTEN SO SYMPATHETICALLY.. IM LIKE EWW I DONT LIKE THAT GET IT AWAY FROM MEEE. likewise i did try to read the other 2015 cap america run with sam but it also suffers of this same exact problem and it's SOOOOO HARD.

i read sentinel of liberty and symbol of truth recently and i swear to god i did not pay any attention other than the scenes were bucky was in AND EVEN THAT I HAVE SOME ISSUES WITH I THOUGHT SOME OF IT WAS A LITTLE WEIRD but. (SIGHS) . i also agree the mcu was.. fairly fine with this til fatws and everyone became a zemo loverweiogoudsigSDG IM GLAD I WASNT THE ONLY ONE WEIRDED OUT BY THAT?!?! dont even get me started on the subsection of mcu fans that make found family out of hydra members its very fucking weird. anyway. i think you might have gotten the wrong blog but nonetheless ive had these thoughts in my head for a few years now so thank u for this little bonding moment