#the posting is incidental but I just - just - realized it

[randomthunk]

A Tom to go with the earlier Crow, and a line I use way too often. It’s been fifteen years since I first drew the ‘bots and they are still mysterious creatures to me. Also, happy Tom Servo Tuesday!

[amplexadversary]

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[thebibliosphere]

Not gonna draw attention to the post because I suspect the person might blow a gasket, but it's always so funny to me when you see someone picking apart fanart, in this case, a popular fan Ot3 pairing, and they're like, "y'all have brainrot, this'll never be canon, you realize that?"

And maybe I'm just ancient, but since when has fandom ever been about validating canon? Canon is incidental to fandom output. It is, at best, a guideline. You can stick to it, or you can go so far off the beaten path that you fall off the edge of the world and wind up in a new one where the map has words like "here be dragons" stamped in the upper corner.

Fandom is about exploration beyond the canon. It can look like canon, talk like canon, and sometimes even emulate it so perfectly you'd swear you've found the author's secret account, but it doesn't have to.

Ultimately, however, it's about having fun. And if you can't understand that, I have no idea what you're doing here.

[carriesthewind]

Ok. I am maybe kind of losing my mind just a little bit.

A few days ago, I mentioned in a post that the IA only cares about information being digitized, not about actual digital access. And I mentioned that access includes patrons being able to actually find what they are looking for, and suggested IA did not prioritize that critical aspect of access. But I didn't really go into any more detail.

So someone over on bluesky linked to this write-up of a talk Brewster Kahle gave about using so-called AI. And one of his reported statements made my mouth drop open in shock.

...and then I read further in the article and realized it was incorrectly reporting basic facts around Hachette, so I had to go and listen to the whole speech myself.* (And I want to say, briefly - he raises some legitimate potential uses for LLMs! He's kind of a dick about some of it ("it's up to us to go and keep [Balinese] culture alive"), but some of the things he's talking about actually seem useful.)

*Incidentally, while Kahle doesn't lie about the ALA brief in the speech, he absolutely misleads about the nature and facts of the case and deliberately omit the part of the story where the IA decided to suspend the one-to-one owned-to-loan ratio thing, despite repeatedly emphasizing that one-to-one was what the IA was doing with their lending program.

And oh my god. He really said what the article reports. (This portion starts around 20:10.)

He says that the IA has scanned over 18,000 periodicals. And that they used to have professional librarians manually create descriptions of the periodicals in order to catalog them. (Sidenote: there are existing directories, but he describes their licensing terms as "ridiculous." This is not a field I know much about, but I spoke to one person who agreed, though for different reasons. His reason is that you can only license, not purchase, the directory descriptions. The person I spoke to was instead focused on the prices demanded for the licenses. Regardless, the idea of creating an open, free directory seems both like an incredible amount of work and an amazing resource...if it was accurate.)

But according to Kahle, it took 45 minutes to an hour to create a description and catalog each periodical.

And so now, instead, they're using AI to make the descriptions and so it only takes 7-10 minutes!

"And yes it hallucinates, and it has some problems, and whatever — but it’s a lot faster than having to write it yourself!"

Oh. My god.

Just.

YOU ARE KNOWINGLY INTRODUCING AI HALLUCINATIONS INTO YOUR CATALOG?!

(And yes, he says that they are "confirmed by a librarian" but it can't really be, not if it's only taking 7-10 minutes! Maybe the librarian can do a quick check for super obvious errors, but actually checking a AI's summary work requires actually going back to the source and reviewing it yourself!)

I just....

I need to emphasize for those of you for who aren't familiar - if a book or article is miscataloged, it is effectively lost. Because it doesn't mater if a library or an archive owes it - if someone can't find it when they are looking for it, it is not only inaccessible, the only way to find it again is through chance. Imagine if you went into a library, but instead of organized shelves (where if even if you can't find what you're looking for, the librarians know where to look), every single book was just piled in a heap.

If a book is miscateloged, it still exists, but it is lost, not truly accessible. And they know that this is happening, "but whatever." Because Brewster Kahle doesn't actually care about real, practical, digital access. (Much less non-digital access.)

(And then to top it off, he goes on to criticize the Library of Congress for not being "access oriented.")

I just. 18,000 periodicals. And they've knowing, recklessly lost who knows how many of them. I feel like crying.

18,000 periodicals.

[kainagant]

an underrated fact about toga is that she's really smart and observant, underneath all the crazy. because she clearly has screws loose, we just assume that she's also stupid, but she proves time and again that she always has her wits about her.

risk assessment - during the summer camp arc toga proves that she's good at assessing risk to herself, and making a decision based off of that. she goes in without hesitation to attack uraraka and asui, but as soon as midoriya and their other classmates arrive, toga realizes that she'll lose and "be killed" fighting against such a large group, so she makes a hasty retreat.

parkour and stealth - curious points out during the deika city arc that toga is really agile and stealthy. literally she has secret ninja powers. what is underrated is that according to her backstory, she never had any formal training, so she apparently developed her technique for hiding her presence all on her own. she has a lot of innate talent that people don't talk about.

schoolgirl disguise - toga herself mentions during the deika city arc that she dresses like a schoolgirl on purpose, because people are kinder to her when she does. it is debatable how much of that is a conscious decision, and whether she discovered it incidentally, but she's self aware enough to recognize that people underestimate her when she dresses a certain way.

basically. yeah, toga may be off her rocker, but crazy does not equate to dumb or ignorant. there's something to be said here about mental health stereotypes, but that's a different post. i honestly just think it's really neat that toga is pretty smart, but it always flies under the radar because we associate her acting "yandere" with being dense, stupid, and socially inept. but toga is well aware of the way people perceive her, the way that social situations work, and she's keenly aware that what she feels doesn't fit into the "normal". and she's always made the conscious choice to be fine with that.

[meanbossart]

ASK COMPILATION: LORE, CHARACTERIZATION, AND THE ONE IN WHICH I RUIN A BUNCH OF PEOPLE'S FUN

As usual, this is far from all of the asks in my inbox but I'm trying to catch up 😩thank you everyone for your patience!

For the record, if your ask isn't being answered, that most likely means one of three things:

I am saving it as a possible art prompt.

I sincerely don't have a very interesting or good reply for it yet!

It's a question I have been asked multiple times/the answer is in my pinned post.

Glad you like them!!

As much as I don't limit what I draw to canonical events, vampirism is so antithetical to DU drow's character journey that I couldn't really envision it, to be honest, but who knows! Maybe I'll cook up some Ascended Astarion scenario someday that is kind of a role-reversal of the Bhaalist DU Drow AU I have going on in tandem to the story.

I'll be honest, this is one of the rare times where I'm really not sure which aspect of DU drow's weirdness this is in reference to. Do you know something I don't? 😅

His masochism is very... Classic, I guess? He's in it for the pain and for the emotional connection, and the process of being pierced wouldn't cut it whatsoever, it's too subtle. The body modifications he has are an incidental result of it, but they were never really the goal.

Also having stuff dangling off his face or body would just irritate him, he specifically only does rings because all other types of jewellery get in the way too much. Pre-tadpole Bhaalist drow obviously wore them by the ton, but only as a symbol of status and because he had a permanent new-money complex🤷 so yeah not a piercing-type of character at all, sorry!

He's smooth from the eyelashes-down and profoundly weirded out by body hair LOL

I don't personally think that whatever Astarion had for a home before would bear my resemblance to it after 200 years - having probably gone through several owners, remodeled, if not completely lost to the destruction of the end-game. I do HC that he used to visit it whenever he could as an enthralled spawn to read his mail, but he stopped after his father passed.

THANK YOU, I THINK? I can't say that isn't a passionate description at least!

I'm honestly surprised that this comes up as often as it does LOL but it's just an stylistic choice on my end!

The latter - for sure. He figured that them dying at each other's hands at the end was a given and took that assumption entirely for granted (and I'm sure daydreamed about it often while Gortash went on and on about political strategy during their dinner meetings.)

;))) way ahead of you and by "way ahead" I mean "eventually and whenever I can figure out when to do it alongside the other 30 ideas I am currently juggling" (but I really do want to make a little comic out of it!)

He used them! Not immediately, but he grew to trust the guardian after some initial suspicion and happily gobbled up those squirmy little things alongside Astarion. Because I made his character on a whim and without any planned backstory, I didn't really put any thought into his Guardian's appearance either, so she's just a human woman with a Joan of Arc look going on who's of no significance to him or his past.

But DU drow did trust her, again not immediately but eventually. It was honestly a big kick in the gut to him when the Emperor revealed himself and it definitely set their relationship up to fail from the get-go.

This is also why he didn't ascend to the next stage of Ilithid power, he just stomped the thing dead right on the spot LOL

LMAO I think Gortash is too proud to chase a tail he can't catch like that

He was probably very overwhelmed by the sudden realization that OH, THIS IS ALL HAPPENING BECAUSE OF ME which naturally didn't come across whatsoever to anyone present since he immediately bottled it up and tucked it away out of sight. However, as the story progressed and DU drow helped his friends get out of their respective pickles he was probably able to justify it to himself as it having been for the greater good - since it led to Astarion being freed from his master and Shadowheart to defying the Sharrans.

As for all of the rest of the ensued destruction and death that resulted from it? Well you can't make an omelette without cracking some eggs, or whatever is the wizard version of that saying. He has essentially turned the entire situation into a net-positive in his mind and sleeps great at night because of it.

[understandingbimbos]

Bimbo Types, or Neapolitan Bimbo

(This is something I've previously gone over in my My Little Pony post but wanted to reiterate here.)

Bimbo can most easily be divided into three distinct archetypes. The Clown, The Innocent, and The Debutante. These archetypes are not absolute, they come in many variations and their traits can and will overlap.

The Clown, also known as The Free Spirit or The Wildcard, usually shows up as the comedic relief. They can be loud, showy, excessive, and obnoxious. Their sexuality is very self-assured, self-aware, and playful. The Clown's main concern (if any) is having or spreading fun, "fun" in this context being completely up to their individual style and personality. To give a very stereotypical example, a goth clown may have the most fun watching very violent horror movies or playing with spiders. Another clown could have the most fun (Incidentally) causing a ruckus or being mischievous, it's all about perspective, the possibilities are pretty much endless.

Examples of this archetype include but are not limited to: Jeannie (IDOJ), Pinkie Pie (MLP:FIM), Harley Quinn (BTAS), Synclaire James (Living Single), Jayne Mansfield (films and public persona), Elvira, Mistress of the Dark

The Innocent, also known as The Ingenue, is just as the name suggests. Not only helpless but often unaware and wholly out of her depth. Her inexperience and or meekness makes her prone to being taken advantage of. Despite this, she (usually) remains positive, kind, and happy to help. Unlike The Clown, The Innocent's sexuality is typically portrayed as natural, uncomplicated, and unintended.

Examples of this archetype include but are not limited to: Marilyn Monroe (films and public persona), Weena (The Time Machine), Lorelei Lee (in the novel), Elissa Megan Powers (Empowered)

The Debutante, who could also be called The Alpha Bitch, is probably the most popular in the modern era and who you're most likely to come across in real life or on social media. Her sexuality is mainly a means of control. She puts a lot of time, work, and effort into her appearance because beauty is both her business and capital. While she may, at times, enjoy and indulge in carnal pleasure it's far from her main concern. Being the most or unattainably desirable is how she knows she's better than others, how she's able to acquire and maintain control. The Debutante values social standing above all else, to her it's a matter of life or death, she would die without overwhelmingly positive attention.

Examples of this archetype include but are not limited to: Regina George (Mean Girls), Heather Chandler (Heathers), Courtney Shayne (Jawbreaker), Heather (Total Drama Island), Cleopatra Smith (Clone High), Jeannie II (IDOJ), Emma Frost (X-Men), Panty Anarchy (PSG), Ginger (Gilligan's Island), Holly Golightly (Breakfast at Tiffany's), Kim Kardashian, Rarity (MLP:FIM)

These archetypes are combined, remixed, and subverted so often it's hard to find pure examples (I tried my best, and even then this is just reducing them to their base archetypes and do not accurately describe every single one of these characters), but this is a good thing. It leads to nuance and diversity, and many of the most popular bimbo characters are mixed or subversions. Chrissy Snow (Three's Company) is a Clown and an Innocent. Elle Woods (Legally Blonde) arguably includes elements of all three. Romy and Michele's High School Reunion follows two clownish Innocents who realize they were bullied by debutantes. As far as I know, all bimbos exist somewhere along these lines (or perhaps on an axis) but we shouldn't view this as limiting, when you think about it the combinations are really seemingly endless, and I didn't even cover sub-archetypes! Many Debutantes are mean but they don't have to be. Innocents don't have to be completely pliable, you can do (or be) whatever you like, even moving from one archetype to another.

[maboroshi-no]

Hamefura LN 14 Chapter 1 Part 1 Summary

I am currently reading Hamefura LN14 and will post summaries after each chapter.

Chapter 1 is a bit long so I split it in two.

-------------

Chapter 1: The Encounter at the Party (Part 1)

Break at Cyrus's Fields

Katarina and Maria are helping Cyrus with his fields. They are all taking a break at the moment.

Cyrus and Maria are talking about work. Katarina thinks they're so serious for talking about work during their free time. She turns her gaze away from them and looks at the fields.

Cyrus's fields have expanded since Katarina and Maria started helping. They will harvest fall crops soon. Katarina can't wait.

Katarina Would Like to Eat Rice

Katarina remembers that if she had been in Japan, it would soon be the period to harvest rice. New rice is delicious and she can't have enough of rice with dried plums and pickles.

Katarina inadvertently voices that she'd like to eat rice.

Maria asks her what she means, so Katarina explains that, while looking at the fields, she remembered that it would soon be the rice harvesting period. And then, she wished she could eat rice. 

Cyrus is surprised that Katarina would know about the rice harvesting period and realizes again how much Katarina likes Japanese food.

Katarina thinks to herself that it is only natural since her grandparents were rice farmers. She would help them with planting and harvesting rice.

Katarina remembers that in Sorcier, people eat bread and Western food, so there is no rice there. On the other hand, people eat rice and Japanese food in the neighboring country Sharma, which is similar to Japan. Incidentally, people also eat rice and Japanese food in Cyrus's region since it is bordering Sharma.

Katarina has been wanting to go to Cyrus's region since she heard they ate Japanese food there. However, she can't freely go there since it takes 4 days by carriage.

Cyrus is happy that Katarina enjoys his hometown's food so much. His parents send him home specialties after the fall harvest every year, so he offers to share some with her. Katarina jumps with joy and invites Maria to enjoy the food together. Maria chuckles and accepts.

Katarina wonders what food Cyrus will share with her. Tsukemono? New rice? She is about to ask Cyrus when she sees him make a very content smile.

Maria Has Been Tense Lately

Katarina asks Cyrus if something happened. Cyrus snaps back to reality. He whispers to her that he just felt glad since Maria has been smiling ever since Katarina invited her to help at the fields. Maria has been tense lately but she was able to calm down after coming here and interacting with Katarina. Katarina didn't know that Maria was tense.

Katarina remembers that Maria's family was attacked a few days ago. While she and Cezar were able to rescue Maria, they could only catch the thugs. They couldn't catch Sara, who was taken away by the "handsome seductive enigmatic uncle". As a result, they couldn't get any information about the organization except that they were targeting Maria. Following this, it was decided Maria's family would be protected at the Ministry and escorted by guards whenever they went out. Katarina can understand why Maria would feel tense.

Currently, Maria is not escorted by guards. Even so, she is still in the Ministry of Magic in Sorcier (the second most-guarded institution of the safest country in the world) and with Cyrus, who is a Ministry director and a powerful magic wielder, martial artist, and swordsman.

Katarina originally invited Maria to the fields to get some help for the harvest but she is glad that Maria could relax because of it.

Looking at Cyrus's happy face after Maria's smile, Katarina feels like she is third-wheeling. She turns her gaze towards the fields.

Mole Alert

Katarina notices an area of the fields where the earth is bulging. She shouts at Cyrus: "They got us! The enemy is here!"

Cyrus quickly stands up. He keeps Maria behind his back and asks Katarina where the enemy is. Katarina points to a hole in the ground. Cyrus is confused. Katarina explains that there's a mole: their natural enemy as farmers. Cyrus frowns and Maria bursts out laughing. Seeing Maria laugh, Cyrus relaxes his face a little.

Cyrus explains to Katarina that, while a mole is indeed a farmer's enemy, she shouldn't carelessly use the word "enemy" given Maria's state. Katarina realizes that she needlessly scared Maria and apologizes to her. But Maria laughs even louder, to the point she is holding her stomach.

Pondering Measures Against Moles

Cyrus inspects the hole and confirms there is a mole.

Katarina never saw a mole in her fields but she remembers that in her past life, her grandmother often had moles damaging her fields, which would make her furious.

Katarina is surprised there would be moles in the Ministry grounds. Cyrus replies it isn't so surprising given the natural setting here. He just never took measures against moles because they never damaged his fields until now.

Cyrus ponders about measures he could take against moles. Katarina also ponders about them on her side.

Katarina remembers that in her past life, her grandmother would bury some kind of nail that would make a piercing sound when it detected a mole. She eventually took it off because it became too noisy. Anyhow, it's not like she could find this kind of device in this world. 

Katarina wonders if she can leave in the fields something that would give off a pungent smell that would drive the moles away. With this line of thought, she comes up with a great idea.

Katarina's Measure Against Moles

Katarina summons Pochi. Cyrus asks her why she did. Katarina explains that she will have Pochi poop on the fields to scare off the mole. Cyrus is blank. Katarina explains that she heard that tanukis didn't get close to fields if they smelled dog poop, so she thought it might work on moles too.

In her past life, her grandmother would collect dog poop from the neighborhood and put them on the corners of her fields. Katarina couldn't help her back then because dogs hated her, but now, she can provide the dog poop since she has a dog.

Katarina orders Pochi to poop. Pochi barks in understanding and takes the posture.

Katarina loudly cheers Pochi on while he is trying to poop.

Maria shyly reminds Katarina that Pochi can't poop since he is a dark familiar. Both Katarina and Pochi are shocked after hitting upon this realization. Pochi cries in apology and Katarina apologizes to him in return for asking him the impossible. Seeing them, Maria burst out laughing again.

Cyrus reminds Katarina that it is wrong in the first place to leave dog poop on the prestigious grounds of the Ministry. Katarina thinks to herself that Cyrus still created fields on the prestigious grounds of the Ministry.

Katarina understands that it would be troublesome to leave dog poop here since it is smelly and people can step on it. Cyrus tells her it isn't that troublesome, but she still shouldn't do it. Anyhow, Cyrus tells Katarina he will think about how to put in place the measures he used in his hometown and asks her to stop thinking about measures. Katarina gladly leaves the issue to him since he is a "pro-farmer". When Pochi barks in agreement, Cyrus makes a little step backward.

Cyrus and Dogs

Katarina asks Cyrus if he feels uneasy with dogs. Cyrus tells her that's not it.

Katarina asks Cyrus if, by any chance, he'd like to get along with dogs but can't because they hate him. She is hoping to find a fellow in Cyrus. Cyrus denies it: he had a dog as a kid and often held it.

Katarina feels jealous of Cyrus, but she is glad to have Pochi now. She pets Pochi's head and Pochi seems to be enjoying it.

Looking at them, Cyrus tells Katarina that his dog would also close his eyes in contentment and wag his tail when he petted its head. He and his dog were always together, like siblings. Unfortunately, it died in an accident one day, right before his eyes. Since then, he has felt a little scared about interacting with dogs or even animals in general. Hearing this, Katarina takes Pochi in her arms and hugs him tightly.

Cyrus stays silent with a distant gaze while reminiscing about his dog. After a while, he suggests to Katarina and Maria they work a little longer and call it a day. Katarina and Maria accept without asking questions.

They all finish work and go home.

Katarina realizes upon going to sleep that she forgot to ask Cyrus what food his parents will send him.

Katarina Ponders about Cyrus's Trauma

The next day, Katarina is in the carriage and she is idly thinking about what Cyrus told her about his uneasiness with dogs.

It seems like not only Cyrus can't handle young women, he can't handle dogs either. That's a lot for one person. It is not so rare for capture targets in otome games to come with traumas, so she wonders if that's what it is.

In Fortune Lover 1, the capture targets had childhood traumas. For example, Alan suffered from always being compared to the perfect Geordo, and then Maria made him realize his strong points. Though, the actual Alan didn't end like this for some reason: he developed his talent for music and grew into a carefree person 

As for Keith, since he was unneeded by his biological parents, treated coldly by his adopted mother, and bullied by his adopted sister, he was supposed to become a distrusting frivolous man who played around with girls to satisfy his need for love, until Maria taught him about true love. But the actual Keith is the reliable son of the Claes family, gets along with his adopted mother, eagerly takes it upon himself to protect his older sister, and has grown into a pure good young man.

Katarina Talks With Keith in the Carriage

Katarina glances at Keith in front of her. His straightened back and neat clothes show that he isn't a playboy but he still exudes sexiness as a remnant of his sexy character status. Even so, he doesn't use his sexiness, which is a waste.

Katarina inadvertently voices, "What a shame". Keith asks her what is. Katarina explains that she thinks it's a shame that he exudes so much sexiness but doesn't use it.

Keith is wide-eyed for a moment, then frowns and makes a deep sigh. He agrees and tells her he was told the same thing several times. Keith looks dejected, so Katarina apologizes. Keith says it's fine.

Keith reminds Katarina that they are on their way to an important party. Katarina realizes that it is indeed not the time to think about Cyrus or the game.

Keith insists that Katarina should ready herself for the party. Katarina begs him to let her idle until they arrive. She promises she will focus and conduct herself properly during the party. But she will exhaust herself if she keeps being focused, so she needs to idle and she can only do it when they're alone together. 

Keith is choked up for words. He finally accepts since "she can only do it when they're alone together".

Katarina looks out the window. There's such a nice weather. She wishes she could have farmed today and indulged in sweets after work.

The Sorcier Kingdom Founding Anniversary Party

Today, the Sorcier Kingdom Founding Anniversary Party is held. A lot of foreigners have been invited. The atmosphere is similar to the International Assembly, but unlike it, it is not meant for socializing with people, but for everyone to enjoy this Sorcier celebration. It also lasts only one day, contrary to the International Assembly.

A lot of foreign emissaries will be there, so unlike in Sorcier-only parties, Katarina will need to walk around and greet everyone. She has been told to be careful of her surroundings since the dark magic organization might sneak in. People are thoroughly checked at the entrance but it is still possible. Katarina needs to be cautious while not acting rudely. 

The party is held in the largest hall of the castle. Out of respect for the customs of the other countries, ladies don't need an escort for this party.

Katarina and Keith enter the venue together.

There are a lot more people compared to the International Assembly. They are dressed in various kinds of clothes: Japanese style, Arabian style, Chinese style… There are also a variety of skin, hair, and eye colors. Even so, everyone talks in the same language. 

Katarina feels amazed by this sight. Keith tells her that such a variety of people is expected since more countries have been invited to this party compared to the International Assembly. Katarina is amazed that Keith guessed exactly what she was thinking. Keith chuckles and tells her it is normal since he has been her brother for 10 years already.

Keith reminds Katarina to be careful not to cause trouble. After recalling what happened during the International Assembly, Katarina replies that she will.

Keith and Katarina greet the Sorcier nobles, along with the foreign nobles they met at the International Assembly. Katarina is surprised she hasn't seen her friends yet, not even Geordo who always rushes to see her.

Katarina is thirsty, so she tells Keith she will go have a drink. Keith says okay while reminding her with his eyes not to eat or drink too much.

Encounter at the Buffet

Katarina goes to the buffet and is amazed by all the gorgeous food prepared for the anniversary party. She originally intended to just have a drink and go back but she thinks it wouldn't hurt to enjoy the food a little as long as she doesn't overeat. She picks up a lot of food and starts eating. After emptying her plate, she picks up some more food.

Katarina suddenly hears "You're eating too much". She startles and looks towards the voice. She realizes the words weren't aimed at her: a man she doesn't know is scolding a woman who has picked up a lot of food like her. Katarina feels an affinity with the girl.

The two people are dressed in kimono-like clothes so they probably come from Sharma, the neighboring country with a Japanese-like culture.

The man tells the woman that a lady shouldn't eat so much at a place like this. His scolding reminds Katarina of when Keith scolds her for the exact same reason. The woman retorts she just doesn't want to miss out on the banquet of the great country Sorcier. She will hardly have other opportunities like this. The two people appear to be siblings. Katarina deeply agrees with the sister and can't help silently cheering her on.

The sister notices Katarina and they make eye contact. Katarina notices the sister has black hair and eyes, and that she's beautiful. The sister notices Katarina's plate full of food, just like hers. At this moment, the two girls feels like they understand each other despite coming from different countries: enjoying a banquet is more important than lady etiquette.

The brother makes a deep sigh and tells the sister he wasn't telling her not to eat, just not to eat too much. His words also remind Katarina of Keith. The sister retorts that she can't avoid filling her plate since there is so much food. But it is not like she will eat everything at once she will just take a little of everything. Katarina silently agrees, it is exactly what she was doing. The sister notices Katarina's agreement and also nods to herself. Katarina feels like she could greatly get along with the sister.

The brother replies that, in that case, it would be more proper to just take a little of one or two dishes she likes. Katarina feels revolted by the brother's words and feels like she can't get along with him.

The sister feels revolted by her brother's thinking and feels like they will never understand each other.

The brother tiredly tells her they will talk about it later. She reminds her that the King will come give his greetings soon, so she must put her plate away. Hearing this, Katarina feels like she would rather eat all her food than put her plate away. She starts gulping down her food. The sister thinks the same thing and starts gulping down her food too. The brother is shocked to see his sister rushing to eat her food rather than putting away her plate. He is even more shocked to see Katarina doing the same thing.

Katarina and the sister have both finished their plates. When they put away their plates, they both smile and nod their heads at each other.

The King's Greetings

Trumpets announce the King's coming. The King appears with the Queen at his side, and the four princes behind them.

The King makes a speech, thanking everyone for coming to the party held for the 300th anniversary of the founding of the Sorcier Kingdom.

After the speech, the foreign attendees go to greet the royals. The Sorcier nobles stay back since they were told beforehand they didn't need to greet the royals for this party.

Katarina starts picking up food again but the sister is dragged away by her brother to greet the royals. Looking at her reluctantly leave, Katarina says "Do your best" in her direction. While she isn't sure the sister heard her, she feels like she said "Yes" in response.

Katarina would like to talk with the sister again and become friends with her if the opportunity arises.

Katarina Talks With Cezar

Katarina suddenly hears someone say "You're eating too much". When she turns around, she realizes that it's Cezar.

Katarina thanks Cezar again for helping her when she lost control of her dark magic. Cezar is glad to see she is well. After all, the last time he saw her, she had fainted.

Katarina remembers what happened at that time. Cezar visited her the day after they rescued Maria, and when she thanked him for his help, Geordo suddenly appeared, became jealous, and gave her an adult kiss in front of Cezar. Because she was so inexperienced with love, she felt overwhelmed and fainted.

Katarina feels embarrassed after remembering this. She starts explaining to Cezar that it wasn't because she was unwell that she fainted, but because she wasn't used to kissing. Midway, she feels panicked about explaining how inexperienced she is about love.

Looking at her, Cezar chuckles and realizes again that both Katarina and Geordo are still very young. Katarina is confused by his reaction.

Cezar asks Katarina if she hated it when Geordo kissed her. Katarina is confused: she felt embarrassed at the time but she can't tell whether she liked it or not.

Looking at her pondering so hard, Cezar changes his mind and tells her she doesn't need to answer him after all. He would prefer she didn't. Then he lightly strokes her head. Katarina is confused and wonders if Cezar doesn't want to talk about it anymore.

Cezar feels a threatening look piercing his back and decides to stop at this. He advises Katarina not to move out alone since there are a lot of people. He will go call her family for her, so he asks her to wait here.

After Cezar leaves, Katarina realizes that she has dropped her guard again after seeing the gorgeous food.

Katarina wonders if Cezar will be able to find Keith in this huge crowd. Especially since she knows where Keith is. She decides to join Keith once she has finished eating.

Keith's Lecture

Katarina suddenly hears someone say "You're eating too much". It is Keith.

Keith scolds her for not going back despite telling him she would just go have a drink. He was worried and couldn't seem to get out of the conversation. Fortunately, Cezar spoke to him and told him where she was. Katarina is amazed that Cezar could find Keith so quickly in this huge crowd.

Keith tells Katarina she should pull herself together since she caused trouble to Cezar. Katarina sincerely apologizes. Keith ends his lectures.

Katarina eats the rest of her plate with Keith's permission.

A Look Towards the Royals

Katarina notices that the number of people has decreased. Keith doesn't agree: it only looks that way because all foreigners have gone to greet the royals.

Keith shows Katarina the long line of people waiting to greet the royals. It is way longer than in usual parties. At the end of the line, the royals are repeatedly greeting people with a smile.

Katarina can see that Alan is starting to tire out since he is not good at socializing. Next to him, Geordo must also be tired even if he doesn't show it.

When Katarina looks at Geordo, she has the feeling their eyes met for an instant. It startles her. Keith asks her what is wrong. Katarina explains that she felt like Geordo and her made eye contact even though she was mixed in the crowd. She thinks it was probably her imagination. Keith pretends to agree while thinking to himself that it was probably not her imagination.

Cyrus and Maria

Mary calls Katarina. There are also Sophia, Nicol, Maria, and Cyrus with her.

Katarina is surprised to see Cyrus with everyone. She asks them if they all came together. Mary replies that she, Sophia, and Nicol came together, then they saw Cyrus and Maria together at the entrance, and then they all stayed together.

Katarina is shocked that Cyrus and Maria went to the ball together. Cyrus kept saying until now he was too embarrassed to ride in a carriage alone with her or talk alone with her, but he finally did it. Katarina feels so happy and proud that Cyrus has finally reached grade schooler-level maturity in terms of romance.

Maria explains that she actually met Cyrus at the castle. It was Sora who escorted her on the way to the castle. Cyrus proudly confirms it with a face that seems to say "Of course since I can't ride in a carriage alone with her". Katarina feels so disappointed. She wonders how Cyrus will be able to make progress with Maria at this rate.

Maria was told to attend this party since many people wanted to talk with her as a Sorcier celebrity. She doesn't seem escorted by guards so Katarina wonders if both Cyrus and Sora were assigned as her guards this time. Or maybe Cyrus was assigned as her guard but he asked Sora to escort her on the way to the castle because he couldn't ride in a carriage alone with her. This possibility seems more likely.

Katarina asks Cyrus in a low voice if he was the one who asked Sora to escort Maria on the way to the castle. Cyrus readily confirms it since he can't ride in a carriage alone with Maria. Katarina is shocked that Cyrus is okay with Sora and Maria being alone together. Katarina doesn't understand why Cyrus would be wary of Dewey but not of Sora. Sora should be a greater threat since he is good at sweet-talking women. If Sora fell for Maria, Cyrus's chance would drop to zero.

--------------

Katarina: Umm, are you okay with Sora and Maria alone together?  Sora might have feelings for Maria, you know?

Cyrus: No, Sora doesn't have feelings for Maria. Even I can see that.

Katarina: Huh? What do you mean?

Cyrus: What I mean? Well, however I look at it…

Katarina: However you look at it, what?

Cyrus: Lady Katarina, didn't you notice?

Katarina: Notice what?

Cyrus: …

Katarina: Wait, Lord Cyrus. What is it? What do you mean?

As Cyrus fell silent, I asked this with a little loud voice.

Cyrus: Lady Katarina, I see that you still are a child ignorant of love.

He said this with a little tired face.

Wh-Whaaaat~?! Cyrus, who is no better than a grade-schooler when it comes to romance, dares tell me I'm a child ignorant of love?! I don't want to hear that from YOU!!

--------------------------

Nicol Kept Being Approached By Foreigners

Katarina is about to retort something when Mary pulls her arms, offers her some sweets, and forcibly separates her from Cyrus. Katarina still wants to yell at Cyrus but she is intrigued by the sweets.

Mary tells her these sweets are probably a new creation since she has never seen them before. Katarina tastes them and finds them delicious. Maria asks if she can taste them too. Katarina accepts even though it was Mary who offered them. Maria finds them delicious. Then Sophia and Nicol taste them too and find them delicious.

Mary is glad they could finally join with Katarina. Katarina assumes it was hard to find her given the number of people. Mary replies it was not the case since she assumed they would find her at the buffet. Katarina feels dejected that people would figure her out so easily.

Maria explains it was because they kept getting approached by people and could hardly make a step. Katarina is not surprised people would ask Mary, Maria, and Sophia out since they're pretty. Mary explains it was rather Nicol who kept getting approached. Katarina is shocked. 

Sophia explains that Nicol's charm is particularly effective today given the number of foreign people. Nicol was not only approached by young women but also men and women of all ages. Some of them were high-ranking people in their primes, so they had to deal with them carefully.  

Katarina is amazed by Nicol's charm which fascinates people of all genders, ages, and countries. Even with these beautiful girls with him, he can boast about being the most popular one. 

Mary admits that Nicol's charm was so troublesome that she felt like wrapping a cloth around his face.

Even after hearing the rumors, Cyrus still can't believe the number of people who approached Nicol.

Sophia mentions that Nicol has been especially courted by large foreign men. She thinks they're probably considering loving Nicol as a woman. Nicol sharply stops Sophia. His tone is sharp but his face looks tired. Katarina doesn't know if it is because he was approached by large men, or because of Sophia's fantasies, speech, and conduct.

Cyrus Came to the Party to Escort Maria

Cyrus changes the subject. He confesses that it has been a while since he went to a party and he feels overwhelmed by the number of people here. Katarina is surprised that Cyrus doesn't go to parties but realizes that she indeed never met Cyrus at a party. Cyrus explains that he doesn't feel at ease at parties and is also busy with work, so he always rejects the invitations.

Still, Cyrus is not the only one. Many nobles at the Ministry don't go to parties, like Larna / Susanna Randall, who only goes to important parties. Ministry people are also swamped with work.

Maria apologizes to Cyrus since he had to push himself to go to the party for her. Maria seems to think that Cyrus was forced to attend the party to guard her. Katarina rather thinks Cyrus volunteered to do it. After all, Cyrus would do anything to protect Maria.

Cyrus tells Maria that he planned from the beginning to attend the party and volunteered to guard her after hearing she would also attend it…because he was worried about her. Katarina can imagine that Cyrus had to muster a little courage to say the last part.

Maria is happy to hear this and warmly thanks him for "being so concerned for his subordinate". Maria seems to have taken it as the considerate gesture of a superior towards his subordinate rather than a romantic gesture. As the heroine of an otome game, Maria seems to be dense when it comes to love. Katarina feels sorry for Cyrus.

Katarina thinks to herself that in Cyrus's place, Geordo would have clearly told Maria that he was worried about her because he loved her, not because she was his subordinate. Cyrus doesn't need to be like Geordo but he needs to work hard if he wants the dense Maria to notice his feelings.

Katarina really wonders how Cyrus could romance Maria in the game. Maybe he had a sad ending where he only married her in his dream? She can tell that Cyrus is losing to the 14-year-old Dewey and that he will just end up as a good superior at this rate. She sometimes wants to push Cyrus but he always says that he can't be alone with Maria. It is frustrating. Even today, he probably planned from the start to join with Mary and the others so he wouldn't be alone with Maria. Even though he accepted to guard Maria, he won't make any progress with her. Cyrus is just so hopeless.

[natalievoncatte]

Lena was in the dark in more ways than one.

The lights in her penthouse were all dark save one, a night light in her en suite to ensure that she didn’t take a fall if she got up. Swirling the edge of a migraine, she’s grown tired of an again-delayed product launch and the hoary halls of power and their patriarchs. Few things frustrated her more than the spiteful condescension of old men clinging to a world with all the success of a man trying to gather all the sand in a desert through chapped fingers.

Few things annoyed her more.

One of those things, she could give no name. Since Lena had realized Kara’s identity, things had been tense between them. Mostly in a pleasant way; they had been feeling out this new normal, Kara tentatively broaching this or that topic to add to brunch chats and lunchtime gossip.

“Oh,” she’d say, “that last alien hit pretty hard,” as if being knocked clean through a fertilizer plant by a blow to the head were part of her commute.

To Lena it was all new, but there was something else with it. Something neither of them dared to name, some friable, delicate new shape that they could only feel by its edges. It began with Kara bombarding Lena with friendship. Fresh breakfasts hand-delivered at hypersonic speeds. Daily lunches. For the last month, Kara had spent every weekend at Lena’s, or vice versa.

Lena’s penthouse had a guest bedroom. Kara’s place had a bed and a sofa. Comfy, but it was no bed. That was how the dance began. The first steps were hesitant, the dancers circling each other without breaking the barrier. A token argument about who gets the bed, only for them both to share it. And once they’d shared it at Kara’s place, it made no sense for Lena to confine a living space heater to the guest room.

They didn’t discuss, or analyze, or talk it out. No boundaries were ever set, and so the dance continued. What started as two people curled up in a big king bed on opposite sides became the pair of them entangling during the night, then skipping the pretext and curling up with each other before the lights went out.

It was driving Lena insane. Kara never pushed, not really, and yet it just seemed to happen. It was as if her best friend was daring her to take the initiative. The morning when Lena awoke to find Kara’s arm protectively curled about her waist, her thumb hooked on the waistband of Lena’s lounge pants, she’d almost turned over and said something.

The excuse she made was that Kara needed her sleep after the pummeling she’d taken that afternoon. That Lena enjoyed how Kara grazed the pad of her thumb over Lena’s hip bone was incidental.

Lying in the dark, Lena knew that Kara had arrived by the sound of the balcony door opening and didn’t bother to call out to her. Still dressed in her suit, Kara peeked into the bedroom, her movements tentative, somehow almost birdlike.

She came back a moment later with a cool, damp cloth for Lena’s forehead and a few murmured questions, before excusing herself.

“Darling, you can stay,” Lena sighed. “I want you to.”

“Okay,” Kara whispered back, lightly seeping stray curls from Lena’s eyes. “I need to change. No peeking.”

And why would you be worried I’ll peek? Lena thought. A platonic Best Friend isn’t going to peek. Best friends don’t do that, just like they don’t nuzzle into each other on the couch. If Lena were Kara’s best friend, then Lena wouldn’t be looking so much, so openly. Admiring Kara’s smile and her biceps and the way her abdominal muscles strained those button-downs.

She wouldn’t be thinking so much about the touches, the way she’d sat in Kara’s lap for hours at a time or how Kara had carried her to bed or how Supergirl had lingered to cradle her post-rescue, well past the point of safety.

Lena wasn’t aware she was peeking until she’s already started. Kara’s suit had taken care of itself; it was her work clothes she needed to discard. When Lena turned over, there was the broad expanse of Kara’s beautifully muscled back, flexing deliciously as she pulled on a pair of pajama bottoms.

Because Kara kept multiple sets of PJs at Lena’s place.

In Lena’s bedroom.

Because this wasn’t the first time this had happened.

Lena turned back, knowing with certainty that Kara knew. She must have heard the creaking of the mattress and the soft whisper of skin on silk sheets and the rapidity if Lena’s traitorous heart.

When Kara climbed in with Lena, the world shrank around the pair of them. Kara swept immediately to the boundary tonight, gathering Lena in her arms, hands finding spots just on this side of chaste, and their bodies molded together.

Lena was finally able to get some sleep.

When she awoke, later, Kara stirred with her.

“Zhao,” Kara muttered.

Lena froze, blinking in the dark. That wasn’t a nonsense word; it was Kryptonian.

“Come back. Zhao,” Kara muttered, as Lena stirred. She didn’t seem to be properly waking.

A nickname?

Lena couldn’t remember when she’d started calling Kara Darling, though she increasingly wished she had.

Dear diary, it was on this day at this date that I admitted my feelings to myself before wrapping them in cardboard and then in concrete and then in steel before shoving them somewhere deep down.

Kara, for her part, had tried a few pet names but most were one offs, never quite fitting. She’d even called Lena “buddy” once before Lena had cut that shit off with an arched brow.

Lena stilled. She could deny Kara nothing, and so drifted off to sleep.

By some quirk of fate, they woke almost at the same time. Lena was still groggy and bleary-eyed when Kara’s sky-blues flitted open, bringing more light than the sun itself. She shifted in the bed without letting Lena go and began to murmur something in Kryptonian, cutting herself off as that last sharp, buzzing word tumbled from her lips.

The only world froze. Kara stared at Lena with wide eyes, and the sudden tension between them made both women go rigid, neither willing to move, to break it.

“You called me that in your sleep,” Lena finally whispered. “Zhao. What does it mean?”

Kara was unusually pale.

“Oh, it’s sort of a term of endearment in Kryptonian. It means, um, ah…”

Lena sighed, cracking a soft smile. “Kara, I’m not fluent by any measure, but I know enough Kryptonian to know what Zhao means.”

“Oh,” Kara whispered, barely more than a short and sharp exhale.

“Even if I didn’t,” Lena whispered, locking eyes with her. “Your hand is literally on my ass right now.”

“Oh. Um. Golly. I’m sorry, I…”

Kara started to pull back. Lena gently took hold of Kara’s wrist and held her hand there. Her heart fluttered not only at the strength in Kara’s forearm but how those steel cable muscles went slack beneath her touch.

Lena swiveled her hips.

“I don’t know how to do this,” Kara whispered.

“Oh, trust me, I’ve got that covered,” said Lena.

Kara shivered. “No, I mean… I don’t know what to…” She swallowed hard, her throat bobbing.

Lena pressed in closer, until the space between them was more a theoretical concept than an actuality.

“Just say what you want to say.”

“Will you be my girlfriend?”

Lena snorted a laugh, briefly ashamed at her inner dork, and afraid that Kara would take offense.

“Kara, you’ve been sleeping over every weekend with your hand in my pants for months. Yes, I will be your girlfriend.”

Kara grinned, starting to sit up.

“Come on, zhao,” said Kara.

Giving their partner a nickname/having their partner give them a nickname.

[i-only-ever-asked-questions]

Aziraphale's bibles

Have you ever noticed how many bibles Aziraphale has just lying about? So. Many. Bibles. Oodles of bibles! In S1 we only saw two, one on top of the desk that he used for checking the number of the beast in Revelations; and the other one on the desk surface, right behind his angel mug when he sat to read The Book (not that book, the other book, the one with the true prophecies).

In S2, we see no less than five bibles on his desk alone and more around the bookshop.

The first one is on the left, right under the little "For the Young: Hymns for Church and Home, with Forms of Services" book, which incidentally opens to: "So shall no wicked thing draw near, To do us harm or cause us fear." (This angel has no shame).

Then there are three more in the desk's middle compartments. One, with a green cover, is on the left slot, right above the tray with pens (this one is a New Testament only). The other two, both with black covers, are right behind the mug, where the RadioTimes watermark is. They look identical but they could be two volumes of the same edition or two different editions. We can probably assume one of these is supposed to be the one from S1. The desk in S1 didn't have compartments, it had drawers so there were no books in that area.

The last one is the on on top of the desk, on the right. This would be the same he used in S1 (although the bible itself is different)

On his right side, sometimes he has an easel where he displays a large book. This is not a bible itself, but an illustrated book of biblical motifs. Sometimes it is closed and sometimes it is open. He normally has it on the Adam and Eve page (cheeky!) but in Ep 2 he opened it to the Book of Job page instead.

There is yet another one in the shelf that Gabriel Jim is organizing

And there is one more in the first backroom (the one with the computer where he talks with Gabriel and Sandalphon). It is on a little table by the door of the private backroom (the one where he confers with Crowley in)

But there is a set of bibles that are even more important to him than any of the other ones. Although the show never mentioned it, the book tells us that in addition to his passion for prophecy books, he also loves and collects misprinted bibles*:

"And he had a complete set of the Infamous Bibles, individually named from errors in typesetting. These Bibles included the Unrighteous Bible, so called from a printer’s error which caused it to proclaim, in I Corinthians, “Know ye not that the unrighteous shall inherit the Kingdom of God?”; and the Wicked Bible, printed by Barker and Lucas in 1632, in which the word not was omitted from the seventh commandment, making it “Thou shalt commit Adultery.” There were the Discharge Bible, the Treacle Bible, the Standing Fishes Bible, the Charing Cross Bible and the rest. Aziraphale had them all. Even the very rarest, a Bible published in 1651 by the London publishing firm of Bilton and Scaggs."

This collection of bibles is hiding in plain sight and readily on hand. Just ask Jim!

The rest are right there on Aziraphale's desk. The tags are hard to read but I found, from right to left, The Treacle Bible, The Discharge Bible, The Unrighteous Bible, then three that I couldn't decipher, the Standing Fishes Bible and The Charing Cross Bible. One of those three is supposed to be the Buggre All This Bible, but none of the tags seemed to fit.

*All the bibles mentioned are real except for the Charing Cross Bible and the Buggre Alle This Bible which in the GO world was printed by Bilton and Scaggs, the publishing company that also printed The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch. I have a whole post about Bilton and Scaggs if interested. Now, looking back to S1, as part of his restoring the world, Adam replaced Aziraphale's misprinted bibles with Just William books. Let that sink in... Adam moved Aziraphale's bibles from their righteous place. No wonder Crowley realized it right away. These are Aziraphale's bibles for Go- for Sat- for Somebody's sake!

Fortunately by S2 everything was back to normal.

[kings-highway]

post-grad platonic-not-platonic IwaOiDaiSuga been on my mind a lot lately

completely incidentally ending up in apartments across the hall from each other and mutually thinking "oh my god this is going to be hell" before slowly realizing that they actually have no innate animosity towards each other.

Daichi likes to cook and both Oikawa and Iwa are too lazy/busy half the time, so they can smell it scross the hall and will slink over like dogs like "please? please? just a little?". One time Suga had had to work late and couldn't be home so he just sighs and invites them in like "i made enough anyway why not" and then they dont leave until like 1 am.

Iwa and Daichi having crazy college-boy energy together and like getting way too into whatever they're doing. These are the "i'll just balance the ladder on the rolling office chair to reach the high place" boys. The fact that neither have broken a bone yet is a miracle (there have been a handful of concussions)

Likewise I think Oikawa and Daichi combined think they're DIY experts. Oikawa is crafty and good with little things. Daichi generally thinks he can do anything himself so why would he hire someone? Suga is like "hey we need a new side table for by couch-" and they appear from around the corner like "trip to the hardware store? trip to paint store? what do you want? tell us and we will do it." (they will not - Iwa will eventually, 4 days later, have to step in and put an end to this)

Like a broken clock, every few DIY projects they actually successfully complete one which only fuels their desires. Iwa and Suga are always very impressed but wont admit it.

They just swap beds around around like their two apartments are one. Suga wakes up stretched out beside Iwa and is embarassed he hadn't gone back home the night before before realizing he is home and its Iwa who apparently also came home from the dinner party they were having at his place???? Where the fuck is Daichi????

They're pretty sure they're two couples (DaiSuga / IwaOi) but they go out drinking and to win a bet Iwa hardcore makes out with Daichi and now nobody's sure of anything.

One of Suga's teacher friends ask if he's dating someone, and he says. "Yes! They're- He's," and then specfies "I have one boyfriend," instead of "a" boyfriend and the friend is ????

Oikawa going to Argentina is like the biggest event in any of their worlds. Oikawa now has 3 mother hens on top of his actual mom telling him to remember to pack. Everyone cries. Multiple times. But group vacations to Argentina go hard. And Iwa just finishes the lease on their place and moves in across the hall once he's gone.

[utilitycaster]

Couple of thoughts about Ashton's panic attack:

I think it's due to a combination of two things. First (and most importantly), they're on their way to Fanny Z's to pick up their new outfit that's supposed to represent this new heroic persona. He's talked about what it means, briefly, with the party and more extensively in a one-on-one with FCG, but I think Ashton is still coming to terms with having a group to care about again, and openly admitting it, and this is the most clear physical sign of that commitment.

The second is that the main thing that got them to stick with this party as long as they did before those bonds formed was the possibility of finding out more about Hishari, and that was just realized like 20 minutes prior. It's a neat juxtoposition: going off that original thought process? This realization means he's done with the party. They served their purpose as a means of obtaining Hishari information. But in the interim, they decided they cared about this group, and so two massive pillars of Ashton's life have crashed into each other as they toppled.

I also think this puts the choice to hide that panic attack in context. This is pretty explicitly not something he's ready to talk about (this, incidentally, is why I will always detest the WHY HASN'T ANYONE CHECKED IN WITH BLORBO style of posts but that's definitely a whole separate conversation), and having someone show up would just add more of that sense of "I have gotten into a group and now our paths are, at least for now, intertwined, oh fuck oh help." I suspect that's why they ask Fanny Z about fate: was this always going to happen? Does it mean someone or something is listening? Or does it mean that Ashton Greymoore, Guy Nothing Good Ever Happened To, made a choice based on the similarity between two words and got everything they wanted and more out of it, because either of those options are absolutely terrifying.

[beanghostprincess]

I just saw a post about Buggy and Galdino being a rare pair despite the chemistry and had the wildest concept ever to formulate in my teeny lil peanut brain.

Buggy and Shanks? Yeah, it's complicated, but the answer to if they're together is neither yes nor no, just dreamy sighs (Shanks) and frantically cursing, blushing and rage (Buggy)

Buggy and Gaimon? Long distance situationship built on mutual respect, growing adoration, relatively chaste, all things considered.

Buggy and Galdino became an incidental ship during the Impel Down fiasco. They both would have eagerly and happily sold one another out for a corn chip, but eventually they build a really solid foundation and Buggy falls first buy Gal falls harder. Alvida is sipping her margarita, watching them sass-flirt each other and making disgusting goo-goo eyes. She's debating locking them in a room for them to either get right with their hearts or at the very least, give her a break.

Cross Guild happens, and Buggy is hurt by Galdino flocking back to Crocodile, yeah, but somehow he isn't surprised (self fulfilling destruction his beloved).

Hawkeye is the first to really look at Buggy - he's had to listen to Shanks wax poetic so often that he is still struggling to reconcile the Buggy-As-Described-By-Shanks with this Buggy before him. The math isn't mathing and he's wondering WHY. In doing so, he eventually starts clocking all these little things - Buggy dropping random, highly insightful and sharp comments that would solve a problem at hand succinctly and easily. Buggy is cautious, perhaps in some ways too much so, but he is also alarmingly good at resolving conflicts without... well, conflict. He's capable of manipulation tactics that most would find impossible without conquerors. Conquerors Haki which the clown most definitely does not have. He may... be understanding of where Shanks is coming from.

Crocodile and Daz, meanwhile, are slower to come around. Daz is stoic, uninterested, he does not care. Crocodile becomes... tolerant of Buggy, finding the idiot to be less of a nuisance than originally accounted for. Okay. Sure. Whatever. Then the boss man Notices some things. Galdino specifically. Mr 3 has always been rather mouthy, though much less to him than to his peers. But something about the ways Gal is interacting with the others speaks of more than idle proximity and general surliness. There's familiarity, a spark there, a thoughtlessness to the ways Galdino turns his back to them, trusting of all things. Then he catches a glimpse of Galdino and Buggy after dark, both tired and closer than most would be in that situation, curled together on a couch while Gal tries to convince Buggy to eat, and "no, baby blue, coffee does not count as food - no, I don't care about how many calories it has, you need something not-liquid, okay, damn-"

Buggy is... quiet when he's tired, Crocodile realizes. He takes away many thoughts and realization from viewing that interaction, but that is something that sticks out to him. The clown is so emotive and bombastic, pun unintended, but he... can be quiet.

He's... pretty, when he's quiet.

He swears he will take that thought to his grave.

Upon realizing though, suddenly it's like either the subtle PDA has skyrocketed or he's just hyperaware of it for what it is now. He sees the way Galdino's hand lingers on Buggy's shoulder; the way Buggy fiddles with his fingers before a wax-formed fidget toy is shuffled into his hands. He sees the smiles Gal shoot to Buggy, the quick flashes the clown shoots back in turn; he sees so much, and it's... not bad? But certainly not good.

Then he sees Mihawk slowly falling into the orbit as well. What? No, seriously, what the fuck?? Of all things, that is what sets his nerves on EDGE.

Daz, attuned to his boss as he always is, always will be, notices. He then turns to the source. Romance is not his thing, he is unapologetic about that. It serves no purpose and he himself is certain he is incapable of such feelings. He can identify it in others, obviously, a skill which he has honed in order to identify threats, allegiances, etc. He can see the veritable solar system this clown has amassed. He too can see how his employer is ferociously resisting the pull of it himself.

Daz doesn't get it, not really.

Daz does however get that the clown can, in fact, be rather cute and funny and witty. He also smells like vanilla, lavender, and the afterimage of the circus he so seems to adore. It shouldn't work. It works.

A blade man and an uncuttable man - truly the things they could get up to would be entertaining at the very least.

Crocodile and Mihawk, upon realizing DAZ HIT THAT BEFORE EITHER OF THEM (Croc's in denial still and Mihawk was going for the wine and dine gentlemanly thing with a strict schedule of expectation to allude to on his end for Optimal Performance), are absolutely FLABBERGASTED. Poor Galdino just has to awkwardly debate between patting their shoulders and trembling at the idea of initiating contact with two upset powerhouses. He settles for awkwardly going, "he... does this, sometimes? But he's insatiable, so really you'd be doing all of us a favor if you wanted to do anything too.... maybe.... pleasedon'tkillme-"

Just. Silly awkward hypersexual clown with his polycule having to trade off and also the sillies of Buggy attracting the most emotionally constipated men in the fucking Seas, nobody is straight or neurotypical, it should NOT work out and yet by the power of carnivals, balloon animals and the audacity of a koala on every drug imaginable, they make it work.

The government is having twelve attacks of a variety of natures with every tip about the clown having a new beau. "is he collecting them??? Making a harem armada????? How does that even work, there's so many - wait I don't wanna know-"

I think this might be the best thing I've ever read because ohmygod- Buggy just pulls literally every possible man. Can you even imagine the gossip nights he has with Alvida? That girl is so done with him and yet they still do these things together because he's the most fun around. Alvida doesn't even know how the hell he does these things. He doesn't even know either. You forgot to mention that he might pull literally everyone but he's the biggest failguy ever and if you ask him about his flirting tactics he won't know what to say.

And I agree completely tbh Buggy and Gal should be more of a popular ship. Despite all the scenes they have together I'm still amazed that they don't have many shippers (me included, I mean, you literally just opened my eyes right now).

This clown has the biggest and some-fucking-how most stable polycule in all seas. Everyone just keeps falling for him when they hated his guts at first and he doesn't even realize until they directly tell him because he just assumes everybody wants to kill him or use him or whatever- But suddenly he has a whole harem and he can't even believe it. You know who can't believe it? Alvida. Biggest Buggy supporter but also the biggest Buggy hater. MLM/WLW solidarity but she won't hesitate to also talk shit about him. How beautiful.

I think the marines have a bet going on tbh. Like a Bingo for Buggy's polycule. They just keep asking themselves who's gonna be next. That's what they do on their breaks.

[lakesbian]

okay, as i have been encouraged by the public (like 2 people) to go forward with this research, i present the very scientific Tier List of Blonde Wildbow Characters Ranked From Most to Least Likely to Have A Piss Kink. virtually no one wanted this post. i did not want this post. it is 2.1k words long. i wanted to inform you of that before you clicked read more in case you were just expecting a tier list image and did not actually want to read 2.1k words about piss kinks.

wherein:

the tier list exists because of this ask, which was written in jesting response to the subject of victoria dallon's canon piss kink (more on that below) and somewhat intentionally misrepresented by me as being contextless because i thought it was funny to crop it and reply with 'ok.' which led to a massive containment breach and several thousand people not realizing anon was trying to make a joke. sorry. my bad, anon.

here, "likelihood of having a piss kink" is defined as "likelihood of having a kink that involves primarily or significantly urine," and genre of piss kink shall be clarified for the characters where it's a possibility.

no pictures are included for the characters because not all of them have fanart and also there's a lot of them and the tier list is only so big and i'm lazy

characters i do not know well enough to vibe check are not included

rationally speaking it would make most sense to presume that unless a character has a canon or heavily implied piss kink it is heavily implausible for them to have one but this post would be boring and pointless if i went that route so i'm going to include some somewhat baseless vibe-checking/discussion of hypotheticals where it's not explicitly disproven or improbable. with my bestest attempts to remain reasonable levels of character accurate given the post circumstances.

our ranks here are:

canon: this character canonically has a piss kink

highly plausible: there is strong contextual evidence that could be used to argue for the presence of a piss kink

plausible: based on more vibes/less solid evidence than "highly plausible," but a piss kink is still possible

could go either way: there is a lack of evidence in either direction, there's no way to make a clear argument on the matter

not very plausible: there is decent contextual evidence or simply Character Vibes that could be used to argue against the presence of a piss kink

strong evidence against: it can be deemed nigh-certain that this character does not have a piss kink

The Chart:

the characters who were not included because i do not know them personally (opinions welcomed):

all three ashleys

bianca

The Analysis:

Canon:

victoria: stated by wildbow to have some kind of "preferred fluid" you shouldn't drink, knows what urine tastes like. canon watersports kink. i hate her. i hope she stands within 20 feet of fentanyl and overdoses and dies. i hope she goes down a slide too hard.

Highly Plausible:

citrine: we know that accord is certainly and without doubt enough of a control freak (<- said w/ deep affection) that he insists that his ambassadors refrain from Wanton and Unprofessional Bathroom Breaks, but also insists that they never indicate they have to pee (or engage in any other basic bodily function) ever because that's Icky and if they do he will want to Rube Goldberg Machine But The Machine Is A Saw Trap them about it. and we know that citrine gets off on him being a control freak. it can thus be reasonably extrapolated that she's constantly doing accidental omorashi w/ accord and is just as into that as she is all the other aspects of control. the piss is incidental--the main point is still whatever appeals to her about the control in general--but, like, The Piss Is There. extremely does not want to experience what would happen if she ever even remotely fucked up holding, but presumably enjoys the mortifying ordeal of attempting to politely excuse herself to the restroom and/or stoically holding so she doesn't have to excuse herself in the first place.

paige (pact): she textually, literally, canonically, For Fucking Real, is a lesbian who enters into the world of pactverse magic because she's tempted by a hypothetical dom/sub dynamic with a hot professor who is actually a sphinx. (if any of you who haven't read pact yet are reading this post. Please go read pact.) this extrapolation is less blatant than citrine, but it's by no means unreasonable to assume that there could be some bladder control going on here. she can go to the bathroom when she's a good girl and finishes answering all of isadora's questions. etc. hey do you think pactverse would have really hardcore RACK omorashi where you make a statement that you are NOT going to go until [x amount of time] and it's your karma on the line if you fuck it up. i bet people with executive dysfunction in pact do this type of shit a lot. they're like i am going to start my homework RIGHT NOW!!! and then they Have to. i digress.

Plausible:

peter: we have no information about his love life beyond him flirting with ainsley amidst a Serious Disaster involving Demons, so this is just vibes-based, but he's mean and manipulative and unpleasant in a specific way that could theoretically insinuate that he would enjoy accidentally-on-purpose preventing a girl from getting to the bathroom & watching her squirm. you'll have to trust me on this.

Could Go Either Way:

ellie: my consultant re the pelhams vibes-based ranked her higher than peter, but i don't see it. i could see her having one, but it'd be in a different and grosser direction than peter. i feel like blake's comparison of her to a weak, groveling dog in a pack may be relevant here.

rose (old): i don't strongly see it, but based on what we know about her sex life i wouldn't be surprised if she participated in any heat-of-the-moment watersports.

rose (young): somehow coming in with the exact right bizarre psychosexual complexes to score higher than both blake and pre-meiosis thorburn. i don't think it's likely, but i somehow don't see a reason to mark her down as entirely implausible. her theoretical psychosexual complex about blake is marked by a few facts: she says that he has a "hate-on" for her, she does that weird thing where she hugs him for comfort & lets him give her his jacket (what if the lamb you were leading to slaughter was the man you could've been, and for just a moment, you wanted to take kindness from The Man You Could've Been despite the fact that, because you are not him, you will betray him regardless), when he sacrifices himself to fuse with/bolster her the fusing is described in ostensibly sexual language (being Inside her, the two halves grinding, etc), and she does that whole noticeable twice-over to his almost-naked body. she would absolutely never admit to wanting to fuck her "clone," but were she to envision it, the scenario she would mentally craft would involve blake wanting to fuck her (he never would & she knows this) and, like, eating her out like he wants to kill her or doing some boot frotting with splinters. oh and she would give him the most awkward dry unpleasant handjob on the planet where she's very clearly treating him like a program to experiment with, press button A and find out if it gets result B. I digress. one could also imagine a theoretical rose thorburn piss kink which remains an entirely subconscious psychosexual fixation that she freudian-slips into conversation at least once a la "hate-on," wherein the ideal scenario for her earlier into the book would be wetting herself for reasons entirely against her control despite being so very brave and stalwart and stoic, and imaginary blake is like "wow you were so brave and stoic about that...it's ok everyone has gotten into an awkward spot once or twice in their lives. in fact, [personal recounting of relevant horrible memory]. here have my jacket i will tie it around your waist for you with a lingering amount of physical contact." and later into the book that would switch to just Making The Fuck Up that he'd be really mean and humiliating about it and then getting mad about her imaginary vision of him doing that even though he literally would not do that ever. (the hypothetical of him being mean about it would be a kink thing for her also obviously. Hate On, she says.) okay sorry for talking so much about rose thorburn's psychosexual fixation with blake thorburn i think it's really funny for her to be extremely abnormal about the clonefucking quandary.

fell: i don't actually know him well enough to postulate what genre it would be if he hypothetically had one but despite not Expecting that he has one i wouldn't find it wholly implausible if wildbow got up tomorrow and made an announcement declaring that he does. i think this could be utilized primarily for the humor purposes of, like. blake being like "hey i know we can't really pull over right now BUT could you pull over? i need to take a leak. should i say want to? is it technically lying if i say need but it's not an emergency yet?" and fell being like No. Do Not Say Another Word On This Subject And Also I Hate You. which is because he is desperately and fervently and furiously and with great and genuine anger and rage attempting to Not think about Blake Thorburn, A Conventionally Attractive And Very Annoying Man, having to pee. but blake interprets it as fell being an asshole for no reason and is like ohhh ok fuck you i guess should i just pee on your seat then. you want me to ruin your car seat? [accusatory, fully bluffing, would rather kill himself than piss in fell's car] you're a car guy who doesn't even care about your fancy white upholstery? and fell is like [desperately doing mental math on if blake thorburn, whomst is already covered in fleas and bloods and mysterious liquids, would be petty enough to intentionally piss himself to ruin fell's car] . I will make you walk. like you can see my vision right.

Not Very Plausible:

kathryn: i simply do not see it. she could have something weird going on but it's not a piss kink. the vibes are not being served.

sandra: also a simple matter of the vibes not being there. has probably been exposed to it at one time or another but sees it as undignified and so on

callan: not sensing it

lisa: bathroom shit is surely beyond mundane to her just like everyone elses private bodily workings thoughts feelings etc. i dont even think she has any kinks or interest in sex in general

crystal: this is the only interesting one in this section! she was described to me as "very laid back, but also kind of passive. she's a slob in her private life. sort of goes with the flow to the point that it led her joining a paramilitary force with no oversight." i think being in the dallon-pelham torment nexus sort of intrinsically adds +20 Not Likely points unless youre victoria but i can only assume from this description of her personality that if someone she was fucking was into it she would just roll with it.

neil: was described to me as "neil barely gets anything. he's kind of reckless? he trained victoria a lot. he cheated on his wife with her sister. he liked knocking toddler-aged victoria over as a form of 'training.'" probably not very likely at all but who knows. maybe "declines to fuck sarah and watches panty pissing porn instead" is on his list of secrets next to "cheated on his wife with her sister."

Strong Evidence Against:

carol, paige (worm) (this is canary in case you forgot like i did), cuff, theo, sarah: the club of generic respectable milquetoast cishets who would not do any of that shit and would probably judge someone at least a little for any amount of kink (or in some cases even vanilla sex <3), with paige coming on on the less-judgemental end of the scale and carol coming in at the high end of the judgement scale.

ciara: not generic milquetoast or respectable but the idea of her being into it is just like. silly to me. faerie queens aren't into piss that would be ridiculous. unless they're pactverse faerie queens, then it's a "got bored of it 31 centuries ago" situation, but ciara is not a pactverse faerie.

elle: already struggles with keeping up with hygiene and like...general Existence. surely would not associate any bodily function w/ anything but a task to complete or a mess to clean (<- other task). also presumably might need help going to the bathroom/being reminded that she needs to go sometimes so that certainly would not b anywhere near sexual to her

scion: uh. well. I don't think he knows what any of that shit is to be real with you. Does he even fucking count as blonde?

blake: is textually extremely triggered and distressed and disgusted by being dirty/unclean & losing control over his physical body, to the point where not being able to regularly shave is actively seriously detrimental to his mental health. his tragic character arc of having his identity degraded to the point where "is that still blake" becomes debatable a la ship-of-theseus question is viscerally represented by the fact that bogeyman-blake is just constantly filthy, to the point of turning snow into gray, stained slush when he walks thru it. struggling to deal with basic bodily functions & cleanliness while homeless absolutely severely traumatized him. he would react to someone else wetting themselves with, like, appropriately blake-like levels of kindness & concern, but he would still 100% find the actual piss disgusting. he would try to avoid showing it, but he would find it disgusting. we see him reacting with immense horror to conquest threatening to make him soil himself. if he were ever actually forced into a circumstance where he was genuinely worried about the possibility of pissing himself--let alone if he actually did so--he would have a Category 5 DEFCON 1 Mental Health Moment. all of which is a great reason he should have pissed himself at least once during pact! (<- i just elaborated on this point at such great length i had to force myself to backspace it all and move onto the next bulletpoint)

PMT: exact same trauma as blake. because you know. They were Blake before they got got. unlike blake, still capable of wanting to fuck people, but, like, We Know They're Not Doing Anything With Piss. leatherdyke piss kinkster pmt is a beautiful beautiful vision but its not true.

there you go. thats it. thats the tierlist.

[shewrites02]

The Crow's Nest | Zoro x Sanji |

Summary: Friends who sometimes cuddle... who are maybe in love

A/N: The setting is pre and post WCI so if you would like to avoid spoiler save this fic for later.

Request: Open

Word count: 8.1k

Leave a comment if you enjoy :)

Two Months Before

The crows nest is quiet, illuminated only by the stars that gleam brightly in the open sky. Zoro can't help but let his mind wander in the deafening silence. Thinking of how he hadn't even realized how willfully he has settled into their routine, how he has become more fond of sleeping on this wooden floor than his bed in the men's quarter. Fears what the implications of such may mean for him in the long run.

"I'm starting to think you're waiting for me mossy." Sanji teases. He wears a boozy smile as he approaches.

Zoro recognizes the red tinge that extends from his cheeks to his ears . A telltale sign that the cook had decided to indulge in the cheap sake he swore tasted of rubbing alcohol.

"You came looking for me!" Zoro retorts.

Zoro can smell the alcohol lingering on the cook when he bends at the waist to meet his face. The sake still wet on his lips, as though he needed one last swig to work up the courage to search for the ex pirate hunter. Sanji reaches his hand out, incidentally grazing Zoro's cheek with his knuckles then flicks his earrings.

"And you're always where I need you. Uh, Marimo?" Sanji whispers.

Zoro does not respond, won't entertain the cook's theatrics when they both know why he came. Instead he grabs Sanji's wrist before he can stand upright then urges the cook to the floor with him. Sanji can't help but give into the swordsman's touch. The sly smile Zoro wears makes it seem as if he knows this too. Sanji sit's between the swordsman's legs, in the most elegant way he can in his inebriated state , then rests his head against Zoro's chest.

"I sleep better when you're here." Zoro confesses.

Not necessarily an admission of guilt, but an answer to Sanji's inquiries nonetheless. Zoro strokes his hand through Sanji's blonde locks. Knows how much the cook loves his hair to be played with. Sanji listens to the soft inhales and exhales of the swordsman's breaths, finding comfort in the way he can feel the marimo's chest rise and fall.

"I missed you... Over these two years." The cook says breaking the comfortable silence that had surrounded the two of them.

"Oh, yeah?"

"I don't think a day passed that I didn't think about you."

In spite of Sanji not being able to see him, the swordsman still shifts his gaze to stare at the stars. Zoro feels the second his heart stops as it skips a beat, the heat that threatens to display on his cheeks.

"I missed you too." Zoro confesses. The words fall so softly they threaten to get swept up in the breeze.

Sanji snuggles closer, resting his back further into Zoro's chest. He tightens the hold his arms have around the cook's shoulders in response. He can't help the content grin that settles on his lips. Decides it's the alcohol that has him reminiscing. Thinking of how he had waited two long years to feel this again. At home. Back where he belonged, surrounded by his found family. While the cook laid in his arms drifting in and out of his stupor, Zoro can't help but think how much better it feels than he imagined.

"You're so warm." Sanji mumbles.

"That why you always come searching for me curly?" Zoro whispered teasingly. His lips grazing over his ear softly. "Need the sake to tell me you want me to hold you? Can't ask nicely?..."

"You know I won't turn you away. "

"Fuck you!" Sanji buries his face in the swordsman's chest, Embarrassed to show him just how flustered his words made him. "I-I'm just drunk."

"Right curly." Zoro places a small kiss to the back of his head. "Just drunk."

One Month Before

"You fucking dumbass!" Sanji grumbles shoving his mittened hands underneath his armpit with the intent to warm them. The ice cold air reddens his pale skin despite the beanie and earmuffs he wears. "If you can't make it back why the fuck do you keep wandering off?"

"I could've made it back!" Zoro defends.

"You still couldn't make it back on your own if there wasn't a snow storm!" Sanji snarls.

He is relieved to see the swordsman alive opposed to an ice statue of himself. Although, he wishes the pirate had just an ounce of self awareness to admit that navigation will never be one of his strong suits. When asked how he had planned to find his way back to the sunny Zoro simply states he was going to turn around and walk in the opposite direction. When Sanji tries to explain it isn't that simple, that his tracks had been obscured by the ever present snowfall, Zoro just crosses his arms against his chest mumbling in objection.

"We're still lost!" Zoro grumbles.

The cold wet flurries fall down in blankets coating the parkas they both wear. The snowfall has quickened in pace since Sanji first found Zoro. What had started out as ankle high has grown to the pirates' shins , forcing them to plow through the cold with each step.

"Look dumbass!" Sanji points to what looks to be an inn up ahead. "We'll stop for the night. Hope that some of the snow melts by morning."

Sanji pushes the door to the room open with a deep exhale, feeling relief at having some solace from the blistering cold. Even in the absence of the breeze he feels the need to drag his hands up and down his jacket sleeves to feel the glorious heat of friction. Zoro wastes no time getting comfortable, stripping out his snow covered jacket then draping it on the back of the only chair before going to take off his boots.

"There's only one bed." Sanji announces as though he has just taken notice.

Zoro can't help the crooked smirk that appears consequently . There's a chuckle that threatens to morph into a full blown laugh stuck in his throat, but the swordsman swallows it when he sees the genuine stress the situation has brought the cook.

"What? Now we can't sleep together?" Zoro retorts.

The red tinge the cold has left on Sanji's face deepens to more of a crimson. His eyes dart around the room looking for something to settle on that wasn't Zoro and his intense stare.

The itty bitty room doesn't leave many options. Besides the lone cushioned antique chair Zoro was leaning against, the only other furniture that remained was: the bed centered on the wall to his left, a night stand beside it with a lamp, and a dark patterned rug beneath his feet. Sanji chooses the tattered rug.

He is almost surprised at the way his chest clenches at Zoro's words. The physical reaction at the mere implication of those habitual nights where he would drunkenly seek out the swordsman's comfort with only the stars as witnesses. When he would revel in how warm Marimo's body was against his and shelter in the safety he found cradled in his arms. The nights that never found their way to daybreak.

"It's- this is different." Sanji insists.

"Would you like me to get you a bottle of sake to make it easier?"

Zoro's lips curl into a smile that almost fools the cook into believing it's a sincere question. For a moment he considers the offer. Thinks the burn of the alcohol may mask the burn of his cheeks, but quickly dismisses the thought of allowing the swordsman anywhere near the snow unaccompanied.

Zoro allows the question to dissipate into the air when the cook doesn't answer. Decides crawling under the warmth of the covers was better than standing here arguing about a decision that in his mind had already been made.

"Y- You really don't mind?" Sanji asks.

"Cook." Zoro pushes his palm into the mattress, and extends his arm to lift his torso before glancing over at Sanji. "Get in the bed."

Sanji begins to unzip his jacket and allows it to rest alongside Zoro's on the dusty chair. A chill runs down his spine when he removes the beanie and earmuffs reminding him of just how much he despised the cold. With another rub up and down his shoulders Sanji approaches the bed and hesitantly lays beside the swordsman. Zoro takes this as a cue to turn off the bedside lamp that illuminated the room allowing the dark to engulf them.

Sanji tosses and turns in the hotel sheets, can't seem to get comfortable with this chill still in the air. He tries to be still, doesn't want to disturb the marimo next to him, but even now as he rubbed his ice cold feet together pulling the blankets tight to his chin, there was no relief.

"Are you cold?" Zoro finally asks the fidgety cook.

Sanji takes a moment to reply, trying to decipher if his restlessness had in fact come from the chill in the air or if it could be his proximity to the green haired pirate.

"Yeah."

Sanji can feel the mattress shift beneath him as Zoro rolls over to wrap his arm around him, drawing him into his chest before letting a sigh fall from his lips onto the back of Sanji's neck. The cook thinks it almost sounds like relief, but tries not to think much of it. Just thankful to have his added warmth to protect him from the cold.

"I- is this okay?" Zoro whispers. "it's just- you always say I'm warm."

The vibration of his voice reverberated through every bone in the cook's body. There's an uncertainty to the swordsman's whispers making him speak so gentle and sweet, a cadence Black Leg has never heard before. It leaves him wondering what he would have to do to hear the swordsman talk to him like this every night.

"Yeah." Sanji rests his hand on top of the swordsman's, trying to resist the urge to face him. To stop himself from burying his head in the space where Zoro's shoulder meets his neck and resting there for the night.

"This is okay."

Two Weeks Before

The sound of Brook's violin fills the open air, the Strawhats' singing carries their joyful cheers. Zoro can hear them from the crow's nest. He laughs at Luffy being the loudest when he clearly didn't know many of the words . The first mate is a little surprised that the sound of Nami telling the captain to shut up hasn't followed suit. He blames the copious amounts of alcohol flowing on the deck for her sudden tolerance.

Zoro hears the footsteps as they approach. Knows who's coming by the way they clack against the wood. The cook. He stands in the doorway with a tipsy grin. A cigarette hangs loosely in his mouth. He stops as though he is waiting for Zoro to invite him in. As if he doesn't want to intrude or interrupt. A politeness that seemed to only wake in the lonely hours of the night.

"Smoke break?" Zoro asks, giving the cook the permission he is so desperate for.

Sanji walks in stopping at the end of the marimo's sprawled legs. His silence forces the swordsman to open his eye to greet him. The cook has a hand behind his back . A sheepish smile adorns his face as he hesitantly rubs the back of his neck .

"I was looking for you."

Zoro frees his hands from behind his head to scoot up right against the wall. A bit suspicious of what the blonde may have hidden. Sanji takes a deep breath, as if preparing himself, then extends out his hand. A white box stares back at the swordsman. It takes him a moment to grasp it from Sanji, isn't quite sure if the gift is genuinely his or not. Inside the box was a couple bow tied bottles of sake, onigiri , and polish for his precious swords.

When Zoro's eye meets Sanji, the cook tries to discern the expression on his face. Isn't sure if it's bliss or disappointment that lingers in his eye. Then a crooked smile falls on Zoro's lips.

"You did all this for me?"

"Yeah, you always help me with groceries, it's a thank you."

Zoro hums, accepting the cook's explanation for now. He takes out a bottle of Sake and pops the cap off to take a chug. The crooked smirk he wears is a full smile when he feels how easily the liquor slides down his throat. The cook had splurged for the good sake, sick of the cheap crap he swears Zoro is too fond of. He uses the back of his hand to wipe the excess from his lips before extending the bottle out to Sanji, urging him to take a drink. When Black Leg grants his request Zoro clasps his wrist before he has an opportunity to draw it back.

"Stay with me."

Sanji's eyes soften as he melted into the swordsman's touch, like he has done every time. The cook complies with his orders, taking a seat beside Zoro. He then brings the bottle to his lips taking a swing, revels in the good pick he's made.

"No more cheap shit?" Zoro jokes noticing the blonde doesn't wince at the burn.

"God Marimo, it was time you elevate your taste."

Sanji passes the bottle back to Zoro. He notes the deep blush that's bloomed on the blonde's face. It's Zoro's turn to let out a boisterous laugh.

"How about you elevate your tolerance."

"I'm not a lightweight!" Sanji protest in return. Regardless of never having beat the allegations from any of his other crewmates. Zoro gives a complacent hum nudging Sanji to pass him the bottle.

The swordsman wraps his arms around the cook's shoulders to draw him closer. Sanji rests his head against Zoro's shoulder in response. The room has fallen quiet, only the sounds of their breaths can be heard. Zoro inches his hand over to rest on top of Sanji's, squeezing softly at the warmth of his skin against him. the swordsman is holding out. Waiting to see if the cook will ask the question one of them has to.

Sanji takes a big gulp from the bottle before passing it back to Zoro. His eyes shut close as if what he will do next might physically hurt him.

"Can I... Sit in your lap?" The cook whispers.

A smile graces Zoro's lips. He understands what the chef is asking, assumes that these words come easier than the ones he had expected.

"You know I won't turn you away. "

Sanji doesn't respond, just moves to position himself so he could lay comfortably in the swordsman's lap. Zoro wraps his arms around him, caressing his thumb along Sanji's arms. The cook lays staring up at him adoringly. Sanji reaches his hand out to rub the side of Zoro's face. When the ex pirate hunter looks down to meet his gaze , the cook looks away.

"Hey, curly." Zoro taps Sanji's cheek lightly to bring his eyes to him. "This gift wouldn't have anything to do with what I said at dinner a few nights ago, would it?"

"I already told you what it was for." Sanji scoffs.

"Yeah, yeah you did." Zoro chuckles. "Now I'm asking if you lied to me."

Laughs spilled from the galley out onto the deck of the sunny before dissolving into the breeze of the night. The Strawhats gather at the kitchen table , unable to pull themselves from the dinner conversation that had stretched way past the evening .

It had started when one of Robin's stories stumbled upon the mention of an ex. One who had bought her many of the lavish items she owned now. The crew had gone around the table, each sharing the best gifts they've received from a romantic partner.

"What about you Zoro?" Robin asked "What's the best gift you've ever gotten from a partner?"

Eyes fell on the swordsman expectantly. Zoro shrugged bringing the ale filled glass to his lips to take a drink. The silence answered for him.

"You've never been gifted anything?" Sanji asked with a mirthful smile plastered on his face.

Zoro felt the eyes more intently than he did before. Acutely aware everyone was awaiting his answer. The air suddenly felt warm against his clammy skin. His eyes glanced about deciding if he should be honest or not.

Zoro wasn't ashamed of his romantic inexperience . Didn't believe his lack of relationship history spoke to anything remotely relevant. He had been far too focused on his dream to get caught up in something so trivial as a relationship. But with the shit cook staring back at him- Zoro could already imagine the teasing he'd hear.

"They're isn't anyone in my past that I'd consider a partner." He answered truthfully.

His crewmates lingered on him, deciding if they'll accept his answer. Prior to coming to a consensus ,Sanji's head tilted back and he let out a boisterous laugh. The sound like screeching on a chalkboard to Zoro's ears.

"Damn Mosshead, don't tell me we're the only ones willing to put up with you."

"Curly..."

"Fine , fuck!" Sanji lets out an exasperated sigh. "I- I like the idea of being one of your firsts."

The confession makes Zoro's heart clench in a way he's unfamiliar with. He knows it is the liquor that coaxes the cook's confession but he also knows its truths that spill from his lips. Zoro doesn't know how to catch himself before he's leaning down. The instinctual movement of his body overrules his mind's objections. He is astonished to see the cook leaning forward to meet him, their lips crashing into each other.

Sanji clings fervidly to the swordsman's chest. An attempt to stabilize himself, dare the marimo consume him whole. Zoro kisses him as though his life depends on it. Searches for his breaths in the cook's lungs like he'd die in this moment where the two to separate. He cups the blonde's cheeks, not wanting to allow him an escape. won't let the end come before he's satiated his appetite.

"You can have all the firsts I have left to give." Zoro mumbles against his lips. There's a string of saliva that keeps them connected when they part. Zoro places his forehead against the cook's, smiling innocently.

"You know what that means right?" He asks. "You're mine now."

One week After

Nami wraps her arms fervently around Luffy's neck. He has no time to catch himself, brace, before they both crash to the ground. She cradles her head where the captain's shoulder meets his neck. Trying to hide her face from the rest of her crewmates. The sound of her cries reach their ears before her voice.

"I'm sorry." She clenches her eyes shut. "Sanji- he's gone."

The forest that was previously filled with cheers, only houses the sobs of the navigator. She gives Luffy one last tight squeeze, a silent plea, before she sits back on her heels to face her captain. Nami tries to use the back of her hands to stop her tears. Wiping at her face to no avail. The crew is silent. Knocked of the breath they would've used to gasp. The sounds of the doctor's cries come next as he begins to speak.

"We couldn't stop him." He sobs. "Luffy we're so sorry."

Zoro's heart threatens to rip free from his chest the way it thumps so violently. Sweat starts to bead at his brow while his hands get clammy. Gone? The cook? Zoro refused to believe it. Not when the two of them stand before him unharmed. There's a scowl involuntarily placed on his face, though the first mate doesn't do much to hide it.

"What do you mean?" Robin is the first to break the uncomfortable silence. "Nami, we need the details."

The navigator cries her way through the past eleven days on Zou. Ends with the circumstances of The cook's departure. Told how they implored Sanji to stay. Told him he didn't have to do it alone. But the cook was insistent it was his burden to bear. They looked at Luffy with broken eyes that spoke their apologies.

"I begged him not to leave us." Nami weeps. "Im s-"

"It's not your fault." Luffy pulls the navigator into his chest to reassure her. "I'm not disappointed."

When the two separate, the minks offer a private area to allow the newcomers to settle in. After excusing themselves from what seems to be an emotional reunion. Once in the privacy of the wooden walls Luffy inquires about the note, wants to read the words for himself.

I've gotta go see a woman. I'll be back'

Luffy hands the paper back to his navigator, having seen enough. Zoro snatches the note from Nami's hands before she has the opportunity to offer it. The paper trembles nervously between his fingers as if it's afraid of how the swordsman will react to its contents. Two sentences- Two. All the explanation he felt the crew was worthy of - That Zoro was worthy of. The intrusive thoughts force Zoro's hand before he has the chance to corral them. He crumples the paper to a ball and drops it to the floor.

"He said he's coming back." Frank says , although it comes out as more of a question. Looking to see if his words will assuage the grief his crewmates feel.

"He's not coming back." Zoro announces before walking out the door. Letting It slam close behind him. He can feel the rage swell in his chest, threatening to pop with the fragility of a water balloon. They had begged him to share what he had been told, tearful and desperate. Passionately pleading to help him. The cook chose to walk away. Not even Nami's tearful eyes swaying his decision.

"Are you okay?" Nami approaches cautiously with Luffy trailing behind her.

"He has a job on this crew and he fucking abandoned us!'

"We're going to get him back." Luffy chimes in, a reassuring grin rests on his lips.

"Fucking leave him." Zoro mutters. He plops on the forest floor allowing his back to rest against the tree behind him. "He can go. I don't care."

"No?" Nami holds up the crinkled ball that was formerly Sanji's note.

Zoro's gaze briefly lingers on the paper in her hand, before he shuts his eyes. His arms cross against his chest. He tucks his swords close to his side then turns his head forward. Nami huffs at his complete dismissal of her disguised as him feigning sleep. She drops the note to the floor rolling her eyes as she walks away.

"I know you're worried about him, you don't mean that." Luffy teases. The mirth in his tone deepens the frown on Zoro's face.

The captain knows nothing of what has transpired between his cook and his swordsman. Has no idea of the relationship they share outside of him. However, He does know that Zoro cares about Sanji. Despite his protests. So he would allow Zoro to wallow, feel his feelings under the guise of sleep. With that Luffy walks away.

Dark has fallen, and the marimo has yet to move. Still laid against the tree outside their private residence. Arms behind his head with his legs extended out in front of him. Usopp and Luffy have both come to urge the swordsman to come join them at the fest. Spoke of the generous display the minks have laid out for them in hopes to sway him. Said there's enough liquor for the swordsman to drink his weight in sake. He does not leave. The idea of celebrating while Sanji was going through god knows makes him nauseous.

"Still not sleeping?" Robin asks.

"Hard to fall asleep when I keep getting interrupted."

"My apologies." She giggles. "I just came to bring you these."

The swordsman opens his eye to finally address his crewmate. Her blossomed arms carry barrels of sake . She wears an innocent smile on her face , but Zoro sees the grief behind her eyes. Understands it's the heartache that has motivated her actions. She drops the barrels alongside the pirate then gives him a wave goodbye.

The first sip burns wonderfully down his throat. Relaxes his shoulders, though he didn't know he was tensing them. He wishes it would settle his thoughts in the same way. Stop the montage of the nights he and the cook shared cuddling in the crow's nest. The sweet words Sanji would let besottedly fall from his lips when only Zoro could hear. They all haunt him so vividly.

Zoro wonders what memories may accompany the name the cook has never spoken- what about "Vinsmoke" made Sanji so secretive. Made him so willing to abandon him. The thought plagues Zoro's heart. The cook is out there going through this alone, when Zoro would've stood by his side raging the storm with him. He wants to consider the pain Sanji must be feeling having had to walk away from his friends so abruptly, but all Zoro's body gives him is rage. That shitty cook. He never had to do it alone. Why couldn't he wait for him?

Three Weeks After

Sanji forgot how just the sight of his kitchen could bring his heart so much comfort. Likens the feeling to his return to Sabaody, though he had much rather be returning from Momoiro island than his obligatory family reunion. While he glides his knife against the chopping board, preparing for tomorrow's breakfast, the cook can't help but stare at the banded indentations on his wrist. A parting gift from the Vinsmokes. He swallows hard, squeezing his eyes closed as if forcefully pushing the memories of the gold bands from his brain.

"Straight to work your first night back cook?" Robin asked as she walks into the galley. Two books tucked under her arm as she retreats from the deck.

"Having a captain like Luffy doesn't leave much of a choice." The cook chuckles.

"Nonetheless, it's good to see you where you belong- Oh."

Robin's eyebrows raise to her temples. She reaches for one of the books beneath her arm then sprawls it open on the counter for Sanji to see. The book has a large rectangular sized cavity in the center, bordered by jagged edges from the roughly hollowed out paper. The cavity houses a bottle of booze. Sanji recognizes the green bow that's tied around its neck. the bow he had tied around the neck.

Sanji looks up at the archeologist through his hair, fearful of what his expression may give away if he were to address her head on. Still Robin wears a sincere smile, her eyes free of any ill will or malevolence.

"Apparently the swordsman has hid booze all over the Sunny, I found this in the library." She slides the book toward Sanji before continuing. "Maybe you could return this to him for me."

"W-why would you assume I know where that dumbass Moss Ball is?"

"Well, Don't you?"

Sanji doesn't have to look in the mirror to see the blush that has bloomed on his face. His accelerated heart rate plus the sweatiness of his armpits are indicators enough of his embarrassment. Robin flashes the cook one last smile before turning on her heels to exit the kitchen. Sanji stares at the Sake bottle. Dares to open it and take a few sips just to settle his nerves. In the end the cook decides against it. Doesn't have the heart to sully a gift he bought for the swordsman. Instead he grasps the bottle by the neck, a heavy sigh falling from his lips then departs the galley.

-

When Sanji reaches the Crow's nest the pirate is exactly where he thought he would be. Back leaned against the wall, staring into the stars of the night sky. The cook is hesitant to walk in, doesn't know how to face the swordsman after the way he left.

"Cook." Zoro calls out.

He can sense the lingering presence of the chef outside the door. Usually the swordsman would allow him to simmer, wait and build the courage on his own to enter but Zoro had waited two long weeks to lay eyes on the cook. He would not wait any longer.

Sanji saunters in with the bottle in hand. His expression rid of any hesitation he may have had earlier. The sight of The mosshead waiting for him makes it impossible to contain his crooked grin. There was a moment where Sanji thought he'd never feel this again. Safe. Desired. Wanted. All the things the swordsman made him feel so effortlessly.

"Robin found something of yours." Sanji taunts.

Zoro doesn't waste time with their usual back and forth. Doesn't feign ignorance acting as if he wasn't sitting there waiting for the cook to seek him out. Waiting to accept whatever excuse he had conjured for his visit.

Zoro grasps Sanji's wrist before he can offer him the bottle. Pulls him forward until he bends at the waist to meet Zoro's face. The swordsman leans in to passionately place a kiss to Sanji lips, tangling his free hand in the blonde's strands fervently. The green haired pirate's grasp is tight on the cook, fearful he would run off again were he to let go. A silent ask to never leave him again.

When Zoro finally pulls away the chef inhales deeply. Attempting to fill his lungs of the air the swordsman has stripped him off. Doesn't know what to say now that he doesn't have the booze to grease his tongue. Sober mind fails him as he draws a blank.

"I'm so fucking pissed at you." Zoro whispers. His hold on the cook keeps him close enough to feel the breath of his words fall onto his cheeks. The chef tenses. "...But that can wait til the sun comes up."

Zoro draws the cook in for another kiss.

"I missed you."

Sanji has to blink back the tears that threaten to swell in his eyes. Part of him feels as though he doesn't deserve how tinderly the swordsman is handling him. how softly the words fall from his lips. Another part, a bigger part, revels in the warm welcome. Swells at the words of endearment, loved hearing that the marimo was happy to see him.

Sanji doesn't ask the swordsman permission, or wait for him to pull him down before he sits in between his legs. Zoro instinctively wraps his arm around Sanji's shoulder, his hold tighter than usual.

"You'll open that for me?" Zoro tilts his chin toward the bottle still tight in Sanji's grasp.

"Why did you keep the bow on?" Sanji asks as he pops the top off. "Especially if you were gonna hide it in the library, dumbass!"

"Why would I take it off?" Zoro's brows furrow into a frown. "You gave it to me like this."

Stated so simply like the cook should've come to the conclusion himself. Sanji can't help the chuckle that falls from his lips, in spite of his intention to scold the pirate. Then a thought dawns.

"Are the other bottles hidden too?"

Zoro doesn't answer, just takes a large gulp from the bottle .

Five weeks Later

"Do you think he's okay?" Usopp whispers to the navigator. They sit at the table, eyeing Sanji as he plates the food on the kitchen counter. She narrows her eyes to concentrate her focus on the seemingly normal cook.

"I don't know... This is the fifth big meal he's made in two weeks. Think he's stress cooking?" Nami responds.

"Well, that would explain why he spends every waking moment in here now." Usopp brings his hand to his chin, making a show of stroking it in thought. "You th-"

"He's fine." Zoro snaps before Usopp has the opportunity to continue.

The pair cease their gossiping, turning their tight lips toward the swordsman to display their disapproval of his tone. He cares none about hurting their feelings, is more concerned with their observations. If the cook's odd behavior has already begun to catch the eye of the others, he is worse off than Zoro had initially thought.

"Shrimp tempura!" Sanji announces replacing the empty platter on the table with the fresh one. Luffy lets out an excited squeal moving quickly to snatch the food as if someone is competing with him for it.

"This is so good Sanji!" The captain praises with a full mouth. "It's so good to have you back!"

"It really is Sanji. You've been feeding us so well since you've returned." Robin adds.

The others chime in with a chorus of complements. Sanji wears a shy grin on his lips.

"It's nothing guys, really. I'm glad you all are enjoying the food."

-

The cook shoves the sleeves of his blue button up to his elbows, preparing to face the hoard of dishes that remained from dinner.

"Do you want help?"

The swordsman grabs the clean dish towel off the counter, and stands to the left of the cook. Sanji passes over the freshly cleaned plate in response. For a short time the two work in silence. Slowly, but diligently chipping away at the pile. Regardless of the serenity, the green haired pirate's concern hangs in the air.

"You okay?"

"I'm fine." Sanji sighs.

Zoro gives a soft nod at his answer. The exact same answer he'd gotten the first time he asked the chef... and the second. Zoro doesn't mean to badger him, but he is watching how not fine the cook is with every passing day.

"The others think that you're stress cooking." Zoro states plainly. Though it's brief, He notes the way the cook's hands tense at his words before continuing to scrub away at the pot.

"I know that I've put you guys through a lot. I'm sorry about how you all had to find out about my family. Really, I'm sorry. " Sanji glances over with a crooked smile on his face. "But you guys don't have to worry about me anymore. I'm back. I'm fine."

Zoro takes the pot that Sanji hands over to him, the final of the pile.

"I have a bottle of sake... if you want to share." Zoro invites. The words are so gentle they risk not making it to the cook's ears. Zoro reaches for his hand, an attempt to draw him close, but Sanji pulls away before he has the opportunity. Fetching a dry towel for his wet hands to disguise the rejection.

"I think I'm going to call it a night." the cook declines.

Zoro can only identify the burning crushing feeling in his chest as anger. Maybe doesn't want to admit it's embarrassment. Despite the name, the pain stings the swordsman all the same. He takes a step back allowing space between the two of them. Waiting for Sanji to say something.

It is like the cook is frozen in time. Cowering in place. Speechless, not even able to meet the swordsman gaze.

Wordlessly, Zoro leaves to head to the crows nest.

-

Later that night, when Sanji pushes through the galley door he is surprised to see his kitchen already illuminated. Immediately gets a sinking filling that Luffy has tried to ravage the fridge again. Hopes that his captain hasn't settled on the pantry after releasing the cook has changed the password to the padlock... again.

Upon investigation he finds the swordsman laid across the couch , bow tied sake in hand, with his leg crossed over his bent knee.

"It's the middle of the night, shouldn't you be in your coveted crow's nest?"

"You want me to leave?" Zoro asks sarcastically, as if he was actually going to offer the cook a choice. Although Sanji ignores him, he continues to speak.

"You can't sleep."

It's not posed as a question. Does not linger to see if the cook will confirm or deny. It is fact as Zoro speaks it.

"You're watching me sleep now Mosshead?" Sanji lets out a dismissive laugh. "I'm fine."

Zoro narrows his eye at the cook then turns to stare up at the ceiling taking another swig of his sake. Sanji reaches for the cookbook on top of the fridge and begins to aimlessly flip through the pages.

Aside from Sanji's first night back, the two have not shared any more nights in the crow's nest. Instead Sanji lays in his single bed in the men's quarters. This Zoro could tolerate. If the cook had begun to favor his bed to the wooden floor in the crow's nest , Zoro could tolerate that. If there wasn't going to be any more drunken confessions, no more besottedly exchanged touches, or nights that turned into day too soon- The swordsman could tolerate that, but what he could not tolerate was watching how the cook deteriorates in front of him.

Zoro could hear how he tossed and turned throughout the night, till his muffled cries or light tremors woke him up.

The swordsman wonders what demons may haunt the cook's dreams, what kind of monster could send the cook into such a state of fear. Wants to show the cook that monsters can be slain, that he had earned the title of demon hunter for a reason.

"Are you having nightmares?" Zoro asks. "Is that why you can't sleep?"

"I know your ears work dumbass, didn't I just say I'm fine." Sanji barks.

Zoro sits up from his laid position. Using his forearm to wipe away the excess alcohol from his lips. He watches as Sanji aimlessly flips through the weathered pages. His hair has fallen in his face shielding his eyes from the swordsman.

"You're really not going to tell me anything..."

"Drop it Marimo!"

"Drop it-" Zoro sucks in through his teeth. "You're cooking all this food to just not eat yourself. You won't hang out with us, it's like you're always hiding in the kitchen... you won't even let me touch you!"

Sanji has to hold his body firm so as not to wince at the words Zoro tries incredibly hard not to shout at him. He can see it in his eye, Zoro's patience was thinning with each tug on his heart strings.

"Sanji..." Zoro pleads. His expression was stern, unwavering, desperate as he stared at the cook.

"I know I put you through a lot. I'm sorry about how you had to found out about my family, but you don-"

Zoro can't stop himself. The rage of hearing the cook mutter the same apology for the fourth time clouds his thoughts. The bottle he has clasped in his hands is flying through the air. It hits the wall with a loud crash before exploding into a million tiny pieces. There is a gaping hole Franky will have to repair in the morning.

"I don't give a fuck about that Sanji! The name Vinsmoke means nothing on this ship! " The swordsman has no restraint left to keep himself from yelling. "And don't you dare fucking say we don't have to worry about you."

Zoro sees the way Sanji flinches at his words. Notes how the cook retreats further away from him. His eyes glued to the floor as if the pirate would turn him to stone if they met. Zoro takes a deep breath running his right hand down his face. Guilt quickly replacing the rage he felt.

"I want to let you have your secrets Sanji. I really do." Zoro woefully professed. "But- why can you only trust me in the crows nest?"

"A few drunken nights don't make me your responsibility!"

"A few drunken nights?" Zoro repeats the words to be sure he heard them correctly. Wills the cook to correct him with imploring eyes.

"That's what I am to you? A few drunken nights."

In this moment, Zoro wants nothing more than to be able to say he couldn't have cared less about the marriage the cook was previously being forced into. Say that he was unmoved by Sanji's two sentence goodbye letter. That the cook's sudden disappearance hadn't completely disrupted his life in Zou. But no amount of lies could stop the grueling heat that starts to eat its way up his skin at the silence.

Zoro doesn't want to be angry, or hurt but as he stares at Sanji who can't even glance his way, that's all that he felt.

Six Weeks After

Something is off. Everyone could feel it. The uncomfortable air that envelops the sunny grows thicker day by day. A tension so pliable it could be cut with a butter knife.

Regardless of the sun that shines bright in the clear skies, Robin and Nami are the only two brave enough to take refuge on the deck. Zoro had isolated himself in the crow's nest with the excuse of an extensive training regime, spitting venom at those who dared to interrupt him. Sanji had found himself shrouded in the kitchen, frustratedly prepping for the day's meals. The others had dispersed amongst the ship trying their best to steer clear of the rivals. Fearing they too would get swept up in their clandestine conflict.

"Do you think they'll talk ?" Robin asks as She glances over at the navigator who sat in the chaise lounger beside her.

Nami is peering above the brim of her book ever so slightly to watch the swordsman approach the galley now that he has finally decided to leave the crows nest. She wonders, as the cook exits the kitchen, if this will be the moment that cracks their façade. Before she has an opportunity to relay her thoughts to Robin the chef collides with the swordsman.

Zoro stares at Sanji as if he is waiting for him to speak first. Like he is searching for an apology sufficient enough for more than an accidental bump. The cook takes a step back to create distance between them and no words leave his mouth. Zoro gives a disgruntled huff in response, not giving Sanji a second glance as he walks around him wordlessly. The cook looks back to get a glimpse of Zoro's shrinking figure then continues out the door rifling through his jacket pocket for a smoke.

Nami scoffed at the display, setting the book face down on the shared patio table. She drew in a sharp breath bringing her fingertips to pinch her nose at the bridge.

"They aren't even arguing..." She sighs.

"Well surely something must change. Even the captain is starting to notice." Robin warns.

It has almost been over a month since Sanji has returned to them. A month since he boarded the sunny and was met with gleeful smiles and heavy hearts. Even the swordsman had welcomed his return, but a different Sanji came home to them. Their vulnerable love sick cook was gone, and with him was his hidden affection for the swordsman.

-

Sanji glances back as the galley door opens. Luffy. The cook rolls his eyes then goes back to tending to his pots on the stove. He waits to hear the hunger pained whines of his captain asking when dinner is going to be ready. There is nothing. Instead Luffy stands beside him mindlessly staring into his skull.

"What?!" Sanji snaps.

"What's going on with you and Zoro?" Luffy asks bluntly, never one to have a skill for tact.

Sanji can feel the cascade of warmth beginning to spread across his skin at Luffy's interrogation. At the swordsman's mention. He brings the spoon to his lips to taste the broth, an attempt to buy time as his mind races as to what to tell his captain. Sanji had not wanted to lie to Luffy, saying that nothing was going on when the whole crew had been subjected to the consequences of his actions yet again. But there was no way the captain could grasp how loaded of a question he was asking. Sanji wasn't even sure he had an honest answer for Luffy.

"The dumbass is just mad. He'll get over it... We'll get over it." Sanji reassures, flashing a small smile as emphasis.

He hopes speaking the words aloud will manifest their existence. That there is a day in the future that the soft affection the swordsman's eye used to hold for him will return. That sweet words will yet again flow from Zoro's now venom coated voice. That Zoro will one day find it in his heart to forgive him.

Luffy looks unconvinced as he stares back at Sanji. His face displays neither a smile nor a frown . His brows neither raised nor furrowed. He just stares intently.

"Does it have to do with why there was a hole in the wall?"

"...yeah"

Sanji looks back, the evidence of him and Zoro's skirmish erased by the handy work of their shipwright.

"I need both of you to be king of the pirates."

Sanji nods understandingly. An order not a request to fix his transgressions against the swordsman. An order the cook does not know how or if he can fulfill.

-

Zoro's back is turned when the cook walks into the crows nest. The swordsman is staring out at the sea, watching how violently the waves crash into the sides of the ship as it storms. Zoro knows he is there, the smell of cigarette smoke always fills the air whenever the chef is near.

"What?" Zoro asks. There is no malice in his tone but the hidden affection that used to coat his words is gone.

"You want to know what happened... What they did to me?" Sanji asks.

There's a waiver in his voice Zoro doesn't recognize. He turns to face the cook, sees the tears that are swelling in his broken eyes. The shake in his voice the threat of succumbing to tears.

"You want to hear how Judge threw me in a cage with an iron mask over my face? How my siblings would come down to beat the shit out of me?" In spite of his efforts Sanji's tears stream down his cheeks. "How I'm the embarrassment of the Vinsmoke family? Too weak- A failure- Good for nothing, worthl-"

Zoro had started to stalk toward Sanji the moment tears coated his cheeks. The distance between them closed in time to prevent any more blasphemous words from falling from the cook's lips. Zoro pinches Sanji's cheeks tightly between his fingers, forcing his gaze to him.

"You are not worthless! You are not an embarrassment, weak, or a failure! " Zoro growls. The green haired pirate's brows furrow tightly toward the center of his face. " You were a kid who needed protecting! They should've protected you!"

Sanji looks at Zoro wide eyed, his curly brows raised to his temples. His eye scatters the pirate's face, as if searching for something hidden in his expression. Seemingly shocked that he can't find what he is looking for.

"I'm not asking you to relive old memories, Sanji. You don't have to rip open healed wounds to prove to me your bleeding. I know you aren't okay." Zoro drops his hands from the cook's cheeks to intertwine their fingers, drawing Sanji in until their chests meet each other. "...Let me protect you."

Zoro gives the cook's hand a tight squeeze before releasing his grasp to wrap his arms around Sanji's shoulders. Sanji holds him in return, wrapping around the ex bounty hunter's torso. Once Zoro feels the cook relax into his touch he lets out a sigh of relief. Didn't think he had it in him to get rejected by the man again.

"Sanji..." Zoro whispers. "I'm sorry that people made you feel like you don't matter, like you aren't special, when you are the reason the sun rises in the morning and the moon shines at night."

Sanji nestles his head into the swordsman's chest, shielding his face from view. Zoro can feel the moment his demeanor shifts, the second his armor crumbles down around him. Sanji clings fervidly to Marimo's chest and weeps. His sobs are quiet, reserved only for the ears of the first mate.

"I see them every time I close my eyes." The cook mumbles. "It's dark, cold. I'm all alone."

Zoro rests his cheek on top of the cook's head. Whispers a hushed "Shh" at his statements.

"You aren't alone. I'm right here."

Once Sanji's tears have slowed, and his breath has returned to his lungs he pulls slightly from the swordsman. He snakes a hand around the nape of Zoro's neck to draw him closer. Wants to be sure the swordsman can hear the next words to come out his mouth.

"I'm so sorry Zoro. You mean so much more to me than a few drunken nights." Sanji leans in to press his lips against Zoro's. "I love you... Please- don't leave me."

Sanji looks up to meet Zoro's gaze. His expression riddles with the affection the cook had longed to see again. the swordsman's lips upturned into a heartfelt smile

"I wouldn't dream of it curly." Zoro whispers, he pulls at Sanji to bring him in again. "I love you too."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A/N: Thank you so much for reading, I hope you enjoyed it. Please leave a like and a comment if you did I'm actually begging lmao.

Also as I am aware many of you know, there is a genocide in Palestine right now, and many are fervidly trying to flee to safety. Families are trying to come up with $5,000+ per person just so they won't be killed. If you enjoyed this fic and are able I ask that check out any ways you can help:

Donate to Families (2)

Alaloul Family

Jana Alashi

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A guide in other ways to help

[prince-liest]

How did you figure out you're aromantic?

Oh, god, what a short question for such a long process, hahaha. First off, didn't figure it out until recently, age 27, but here was the approximate (and very truncated in the amount of internal conflict and introspection involved) step-by-step process:

Figured out I was queer in high school because I felt the same way about women as I did about men! Spent about 5 years thinking I was bisexual.

Figured out that I'm not actually attracted to men when I read a post describing the experience of compulsory heterosexuality and related with it intensely, which was a very freeing experience. Spent 6 years thinking I was a (nonbinary) lesbian!

Hooked up at parties a couple of times out of curiosity and then took up my best friend's offer to fuck and realized that I got the same amount of skin-crawling distaste about that as I did about sexual contact with men, thus realizing I was ace.

Let that domino tip over into the, "Actually, identifying as gay has for a long time given me the same anxiety as I used to feel when I thought I'd have to date a man, and also I'm 27 years old and have never, ever actually wanted to date another human being. When people ask me what my ideal partner is like, I start listing off ways in which they should not bother me or demand my time or be part of my life. Maybe I just don't want... anyone." domino, and the subsequent "I'M FREE!! (from trying to date women)" euphoria was identical to the "I'M FREE!! (from trying to date men)" euphoria, so.

That's where I'm at!

I'm a generally introspective person, but I'm also really great at gaslighting myself into ignoring my own discomfort, so largely it's been, haha, a diagnosis of exclusion. First I excluded men, then the discomfort with women grew large enough that I was able to exclude them as well. Reading about other people's experiences and realizing where they paralleled my own was immensely helpful! So was being close friends with a very poly person who slowly and fully unintentionally changed my perspective on how I view relationships in a very poly-and-relationship-anarchy-as-default way, which incidentally is extremely compatible with aroace queerplatonic ideals and definitely softened me up to be ready to accept that particular realization.

Also, please let this be a sign that just because you identify with one "thing" doesn't mean that you're committing to it forever! <3