#the pose is awkward because i had a different goal but it ended up as him just shielding himself from the rain..... be niceys
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#the pose is awkward because i had a different goal but it ended up as him just shielding himself from the rain..... be niceys#fields of mistria#march fields of mistria#fom march#mikey.png
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ă  ď˝
ď˝ď˝ď˝ď˝ď˝ď˝ď˝ď˝
á´Ąá´Ęɴɪɴɢęą; É´á´É´á´! á´á´Ęá´ á´Ęá´á´á´ Ęá´á´á´
á´Ęá´Ęá´á´á´á´Ęęą; ÉŞęąá´É˘ÉŞ, Ęá´á´ĘÉŞĘá´, á´ĘɪɢɪĘÉŞ, á´á´É´ÉŞÉ˘á´á´ÉŞ, É´á´É˘ÉŞ, Ęá´á´, Ęá´Ęá´á´, ĘÉŞÉ´, ĘÉŞá´ĘÉŞ, á´á´Ęá´ęąá´, Ęá´á´ÉŞá´ÉŞĘá´, á´á´á´Ęá´
Isagi: Back when he was younger, he had a phase where he would do the dab whenever he scored a goal. It could be completely outdated too and people would cringe at him LMAO. Mightâve also done fortnite dance (he doesnât even play fortnite). His teammates try to go over and celebrate but he randomly breaks into the orange justice (he canât even do it properly) so they end up just standing there like đ§. Let him have his moment I guess???
Bachira: He was one of those kids that played with insects outside or something (speaking from experience) ��. Youâd catch him playing outside and there were 3 worms, each with different names. He probably gave them sad backstories too. The neighbors thought he was weird as hell. If someone pointed it out, heâd be like âStop being rude to them! Theyâre my friends!â And heâd actually look pissed off, exactly like this emoji đ . If he comes back to the same spot only to find that they arenât there, heâll come home crying đ đ Please help him.
Chigiri: Heâs canonically a moody guyâŚI feel like he âdecidesâ his mood for the day ykyk đ. If itâs a clear sky, sunny day, heâll choose to be happy but if he wakes up and itâs raining, he decides that heâs gonna be angry. Always ends up breaking character though. If he's laughing and suddenly remembers that he's supposed to be angry, heâll immediately put on a blank expression again like đ and the people around him think they did something wrong LMAOO. Like??? What happened bro???
Kunigami: His go-to pose for photos is the thumbs up or the peace sign and HE LOOKS SO STIFF. Heâs just there like đ âď¸. He looks so awkward pls đ. His little sister is trying so hard not to laugh and heâs just like ???? What's so funny?? If heâs accidentally photo-bombing and realises too late, heâll strike that EXACT POSE until someone tells him to move cus his brain couldnât process it ITS SO SAD đ
Nagi: Once, when he was younger, he tried doing one of those free robux application things where you play a bunch of games for robux and he thought it was legit because some youtuber did it. His parents were like âSeishiro what are you even doingâ and he was like âIâm grinding robux mom, you wouldnât understandâ Like NagiâŚdonât even get your hopes up đŹ. Long story short, it didnât work and he ended up with some virus on his ipad. He woke his parents up at 3am and was like âumâŚI think I got hacked âšď¸â His parents WERE NOT pleased đ
Reo: Had a little rebellious phase where he only used cringey Gen Z slang. In front of his parents too and theyâd stare at him like đ¨. âZamn ngl this food is bussinâ fr goated no cap,â said young Reo, at a luxurious 5-star restaurant. His mom almost choked on her food. Probably got side-eyed by the waiter too. He didnât even realise that it wasnât cool until he found out that NOBODY actually says all that đ.
Barou: When heâs eating other people's food or eating at a restaurant, he judges it like heâs Gordan Ramsey or something??? Imagine heâs at someone's house for dinner and then when theyâre eating he has this whole routine. First he sniffs, feels the texture, then he examines with his eyes, and finally starts eating. Youâll tell if he likes it or not from his expressions đ Heâll start interrogating too LMAO. Heâd be like âWhat kind of spice is this?â âHow much salt did you add?â HEâS NOT PLAYING YALL.
Rin: Took elementary dodgeball SERIOUSLY. Heâd yell at his teammates. Losing? Not on his watch. âWHAT THE HECK ARE YOU DOING?! ITâS DODGE BALL NOT GET HIT IN THE FACE BALL YOU LOSER!â. If he ever lost a game in PE, heâd start crying and throwing a fit, all while blaming his teammates. He would act like an angel if Sae was there though LMAO.
Hiori: He tries to re-enact cool moves from video games. Like if there's a character that has a cool playstyle heâll literally hop out of his gaming chair just to swing a spatula around đ. He got the sound effects goin on too, you can hear little pews and booms. Or if thereâs a specific voice line from the final boss that he thinks sounds cool heâll say it out loud (sometimes his parents hear and they think that heâs lost it not that they care though.)
Karasu: He had a huge chess.com phase, probably in middle school. But he was that one kid that goes âI wasnât even trying tho lolâ when he lost (behind the screen he is SCREAMING in rage). ALSO Heâs the type to be super expressive (kinda like Barou) đ. Youâll know when heâs judging you cusâ his face will go đŹ đ˛ âšď¸ đ§ đ¤ in that order đ. He could say something but his expressions reveal all there is.
Yukimiya: When he first got his glasses, he probably forgot them a lot LOL. Like heâd show up to football practice without them and one of his teammates would go âYo whereâs your glasses, Yukki?â and heâd be likeâŚoh yeah. There was probably one point where he thought his eyesight was getting better. He woke up one morning and just decided that he suddenly felt like he had good vision again. It was all in his head đ.
Otoya: He once tried hitting on a girl when her boyfriend WAS RIGHT THERE and he didnât even notice. Letâs just say he ran for his life. His older sister has a video recording of it and uses it as blackmail. Worst of all he genuinely thought he could've âstolenâ her from him đ LIKE OTOYA NO. đ
#blue lock#bllk#blue lock headcanons#bllk headcanons#isagi yoichi#bachira meguru#chigiri hyoma#kunigami rensuke#rin itoshi#nagi seishiro#reo mikage#barou shouei#hiori yo#otoya eita#yukimiya kenyu#karasu tabito
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Nova Blaze, cyborg streamer
I started this project intending it to be a quick test of a few techniques, and I didn't start thinking of it as a "character" until I was already printing test parts. I think Nova Blaze nonetheless managed to take on a unique identity by the end.
Sadly, she isn't a dinosaur, and she doesn't come with any transformations or widgets, but she's going to live on my monitor stand for a while nonetheless.Â
There were really three technical goals for this project. First, I wanted to rely as little as possible on painted detail, using dye for the bulk of the figure's colors to greatly improve durability. Second, April convinced me to try ball and socket joints on a figure again, because their simplicity and compactness opens up a lot of options. Third, I wanted to to make a figure that was a bit sexy, with some reference to lines like Frame Arms Girl, Robot Neoanthropinae Polynian, and Busou Shinki.
So, first, those colors. The acrylic paints I used on Bit Cobalt and still use for detailing are prone to chipping and scratching. I want my figures to be durable enough to pose and play with, and dye is the natural solution.
Outside of the beige "skin" parts, Nova is mostly made with white resin dyed into color, with the dye mixed into the liquid resin for the pink parts. The yellow parts were printed white and dyed in a diluted dye bath, and the black was painted on directly undiluted. Most of the photos in this post are of a second copy of the figure made for April, and there's very little paint on it, essentially just the lipstick, the gray sections on the torso, and the cyan streak in the hair.
The second technical goal for this project was in the joints. Nova's joints include a few ball and socket joints with both sides printed in resin, which I was initially reluctant to try. I've seen very bad results from attempting ball and socket joints in "standard" resin, and the "ABS-like" resin I'm using doesn't solve all of the problems - the porous surfaces still bite and grind at first - but it made the difference between unworkable and workable results once I'd dialed in the socket geometry.
In the hips and ankles, I've used Kotobukiya Hexa Gear joints for the ball side of the pair, which seem to be working very smoothly. (April very sweetly surprised me with a small stash of the joints after handling an early form of the figure.) Nova's range of articulation is the most I've hoped to get out of a figure so far, and I'm very happy with some of the poses she can pull off, as is probably clear in the photos.Â
The third goal of the project, of making a figure that was a bit sexy, doesn't sound like a technical challenge, especially for a cartoon cyborg. But I've always really struggled to draw human characters that aren't uncanny and awkward, and up to now, the robot figures I've been modeling have largely been made up of chunky shapes that are very forgiving to my weak understanding of human anatomy. Nova was an opportunity to push and practice just a little in that area.
In turn, working with more organic shapes was a chance to practice a bit more with sculpting tools in Blender rather than leaning solely on the hard-surface modeling tools (constructing rather than sculpting) I'm more comfortable with.
I'm indebted to the time Workbenchmaniac has spent tutoring me in using Blender's sculpting tools, and specifically in sculpting faces. I made much more use of that tool set (and skill set) in this project than in any of my previous ones. I'm particularly happy with Nova's face sculpt, even if it took me three days to do what a real sculptor can do in thirty minutes.
I had the figure mostly modeled, still thinking of it as mostly a technical exercise, when April suggested the cyan hair streak to complete the CMYK color scheme. Things snowballed from there, and a few realizations (like "laptop stickers") and a week of work later, Nova had developed into something a bit more like a character.
Nova's hair can be popped off to interchange her face plates using a pair of magnets. She has stands in varied heights for any of five emoji, meant to represent chat reactions to her stream, and some alternate hands.
Since I've never done any animation or sculpted posed figurines, I still have a lot to learn about modeling humans and creatures for posing, so the hand poses are simplistic and don't bend quite right. That'll be something to improve on in a future project, although I'll have to get back to something a little more crunchily mechanical for a bit for my next figure.
As always, thanks to my partner April and my mentor in all things Blender or miniature Workbenchmaniac, without either of whom none of these projects would be here.
Photo backdrops via Nendoroid More: Background Book 03.
#robotgirl#3d printing#3d modeling#action figures#robot girl#cyborg#emoji#fully automated luxury gay space communism
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MOE Pt. 3: Dealing with Rebellious and Unmotivated Students
The moment I walked into Teacher W's classroom, it was a whole different environment. Chairs were left unturned and litters were left on the floor. Students were playing mobile games openly at the back while some were taking a nap. When I informed my mentor I was going to Teacher W's class so I could gain a different perspective, she only left me with a "good, then you can see the difference." and I did not know what she meant until I stepped in.
If I thought being asked funny questions by my mentor's form class was awkward, Teacher W's classroom posed a different set of challenges.
They were unmotivated, rebellious, and did not have much care for school.
When I introduced myself, instead of engaging and asking me questions, they did not care what I did, where I came from, or what I taught. Honestly, as an anxious person, this felt like being thrown into a freezer.
The moment I noticed their disinterest in me when I finished introducing myself, I took a second to recompose myself, smiled, and found a seat at the back of the classroom.
I spent the next hour observing Teacher W conducting her literature lesson, but most of my observations were not on her teaching style but on the students.
At this point, there were a couple of thoughts in my head.
This class will be harder to build a rapport with during my time here. I can choose to stick to my mentor's class, or I can choose to commit to this class too. Will I be able to juggle?
I found my answer quickly, though.
I welcomed the challenge and set a goal to gradually build my reputation up with this class. From what I have observed so far, they are known as a "Normal Technical" class - the lower performing batch of students in the school. At least, that's what they are classified as under the MOE system. However, I have always disliked that classification and while I have my views and biases on why we should incorporate different methods when it comes to classifying student's abilities, I accepted the problem given to me and decided to work around it.
I implemented my strategy of gradually building rapport by:
During breaks in lessons and with Teacher W's approval, I subtly went around the classroom and tried to create small talk with the students. For example, when I saw a group of boys playing video games on their mobile phones, I approached them with a curious smile and asked what were they playing. They were anxious and afraid at first and their reflexes quickly caused them to shut their phone off, but I said, "I'm not going to take away your phone, just wanted to know what you play because I like games too." This caused their faces to light up and they showed me the current popular football manager sim that I had no knowledge on, but I tried to match their enthusiasm and asked them more questions on the rules of the game, how it works, where can I download it, etc.
On the other end of the classroom, I noticed a girl sleeping alone, her head on the table. I gently tapped her table and woke her up. She was avoiding my eyes and had a closed-off body language, so I assumed she felt bad for falling asleep. My approach to her was similar to the boys earlier. I smiled and asked her how was her sleep last night. She sighed and said it was bad, she couldn't get much sleep and things were keeping her up. I quickly empathized with her situation. As a student myself, the nights can get very draining if we stay up doing assignments or stressing about the things we need to achieve. I told her it was okay, get some rest. Teacher W definitely saw her sleeping and if she didn't comment on it, that means this isn't the first occurrence. I left it at that for now.
My motive for going around and checking in on the students with friendly conversation was to find a way to wiggle myself into their closed shell. This would take some time and I had to remind myself to be consistent in my approach, but not aggressive.
The best person to ask though, however, was Teacher W - since she had been their form teacher for a while.
After the classes were over, I asked Teacher W for some time in the office and found out more about her challenges with her class and how she felt about them. She told me she struggled with building rapport too and she asked if she did okay, based on my observations.
I was confused and answered, "They seemed to like you."
"Really? I can't tell at all and it's been two years" was her reply.
We both laughed.
Regardless, I had a rough idea on how to approach Teacher W's class now, but the next few days would prove to be rough. My mentor not only had her form class to teach, but up to 3-4 other classes for music as well scattered throughout the lower secondary levels. I spent the next few days mirroring her schedule and discovering the challenge of teaching multiple classes for music.
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minecraft endermen are really weird. theyre unnatural and make me feel off.
when i was a small child like seven years ago i would always play minecraft on creative mode and i made an ugly ass enderman "farm" made out of bricks. i had an enderman spawn egg and id just spam it and the enderman couldnt get out (so i thought). anyways having them in this enclosure was probably so i could feel "powerful" over them because to date theyre still the only mob in minecraft that makes me anxious. even above skeletons(which i used to have a horrible fear of (the real life ones not mc ones)) and spiders (which i still have a horrible fear of (again the real life ones not mc)). anyways the endermen just ended up completely teleporting out of the farm and i checked on my world the next day and they were all gone and i didnt appreciate it (this was the same world where my brother blew up my pets but thats a different story).
anyways back to endermen. besides the fact that i just didnt like dying and i did like building ugly structures, one of the main reasons i didnt play survival much for a while, or if i did id put it on peaceful, was because of the enderman. every time i passed one my heart would drop and if i happened to look it in the eye on accident my throat would feel like its closing up and idk why. if it sounds like im bullshitting you or not remembering correctly i swear im not because it still happens actually.
i play survival a ton more now simply because i enjoy it more, it feels like theres actually a goal to achieve, but i never really make efforts toward said goal(ya know, beating the dragon). none of my worlds are really created with the intention of beating the dragon, and therefore i dont have to worry about endermen. if i happen to be outside my house and theres one there, no worries i just wait for it to go away. it may spook me for a sec but im fine.
but recently me and my sister started a world with the sole purpose of beating the dragon. we may have cheated a little (like putting on keep inventory cause honestly we both suck at pvp and have died so many times) but its okay cause thats it. we still have to fight endermen to get pearls for the end portal. and so we were hanging out in the nether and made a little two block tall hidey hole and id stand by the front and taunt endermen to get them to come close so i could kill them without them being able to get to me and it worked really well actually. except for the fact that to get them to come near i had to get them to aggro onto me and to do that i have to look them in the eye and you know where this is going. and so i was like "it has been so long since i looked an enderman in the eye surely i cant still be scared of them" and i turn to my sister like "<sister> you stay in the hole ill get us some pearls"
so i go out and taunt the dudes and guess what bitch got the pit in their stomach from these fuckers!! thats right bestie and my throat started to close up and i started talking to my sister again but i could tell me voice was off from it and i dont know why it happens but it pisses me off. like theyre not even scary looking theyre just a bit odd. and i continue to do this and kill the endermen and it just. doesnt. stop. my throat keeps closing up and im not "in pain" or anything just inconvenienced like what the fuck dude its a bunch of fucking pixels. i dont know its weird.
and now this part is gonna sound super fuckin stupid but ever since i started watching dsmp i immediately got attached to ranboo (cc! and c!) and knowing that c!ranboo was half enderman made me really think "hm endermen arent that bad. granted i havent interacted with one in a while but still not that bad. perhaps my favorite hostile mob" because you know people get attached to characters and think dumb things. and then again ranboo's character straight up existing and also this one specific headcanon i saw that was like "endermen use telepathy to talk so when a player looks at them all their thoughts get projected into them and it hurts their brain :((" makes me feel kinda bad for aggro-ing them and killing them again even though its literally just some pixels dude. my brain is not kind to me about this stuff and its really dumb.
i dont know what about the endermen staring back at me sets off the sort of fight-or-flight that makes me unable to breathe for a second but its something. its not the fact that their jaws basically unhinge when theyre mad because the throat closing up sensation happens before that. it happens when i look at an enderman and it looks back up at me and holds my gaze. i dont know. i dont know why im worked up(even slightly) over a video game. theyre still my favorite hostile mob i think (not just because of ranboo honestly the other hostile mobs just kinda suck).
and also i like the idea of how humanoid they are. not human. humanoid. they have the basic aspects of a minecraft human- square, head, torso, legs, arms, eyes. most mc skins dont even have mouths anyways just eyes. but the endermen have these features differently than us. their eyes are unnatural, legs and arms too long, body all one color, one that can blend in, and you can only see its purple eyes staring you down from a distance. theyre basically just cryptids.
despite skeletons and even zombies looking closer to the player than the endermen, they still seem the most human-like of all of the mobs. they arent aggressive unless provoked. they dont like eye contact(socially awkward). they like picking up stuff and moving it around. theyre curious (i cant explain this one they just are, okay?). even the sounds they make are just phrases like "hey" "hello" "whats up" distorted and in reverse.
i want to know more about them.
i want to know where they came from.
why theyre found in every dimension.
why they sound like us.
i want explanations, i want to know why they scare us.
i want to know if they know.
if they know that we're like them in some way.
that some of us dont mean harm, but for others thats all they want to do to the endermen.
i saw a post once that said "what taught humans to be wary of things that look human, but arent?" i believe the phenomenon is called uncanny valley. what if in the minecraft universe, the thing that taught us that was endermen. or rather, the thing that taught the endermen that was us? because again, the endermen pose no threat to us unless theyre provoked. by one of us. the endermen try to communicate with us- "âââŹ" "âââââ ââż?"- but we kill them without reason. thats why they dont like eye contact, its been ingrained in them through evolution that eye contact with a human/player will end in death, and they dont want it to be theirs, so they attack first.
we- or rather, the first minecrafters, maybe (in the lore(?)) people before the game, taught the endermen to fear us. i mean we literally kill them, use their remains to enter their home dimension, and then kill their leader/mother. they do their best to stop us, but we can respawn and they cant. and then, some people even go as far as to make farms, having them all spawn in one place, crowded, cant teleport out- their only defense mechanism gone- and then are slaughtered for their pearls. and due to the mass of these farms there will be chests upon chests full of pearls that no one's using, i saw someone the other day ask what people do with them and someone straight up said they just burn them like god what a waste.
"but izzy, players make mob farms all the time and not just for endermen!!!1!!11! why are the endermen ones so bad why are you only talking about those1!1!1!!!1" 1) because i can, 2) this is an endermen-themed post, and 3) i dont like the other mobs. and of course im not actually mad at the players who like beating the game and making endermen farms and such, i mean thats what it is its all just a game just a bunch of code, 0's and 1's, so why does it matter why bother writing a whole post on it?
because when you look paste the game, when you read in between those ones and zeroes and discover this non-intentional lore, it can make things so much more,, interesting. this is fanfic material. hell, its probably fanart material too. its all for the content to see what the community can create i guess. or maybe i just really like talking about endermen and this has been on my mind for two days now and once i started typing i couldnt stop.
but yeah, thats my final thoughts.
we, humans, experience uncanny valley about the endermen.
but the endermen experience uncanny valley about the players.
#time is empty and thoughts are yes#long post#endermen#minecraft enderman#minecraft#minecraft lore#lore#tw video game death#not really sure if i need to put that since a lot of stuff in minecraft is killing stuff but might as well stay on the safe side with it#god this might be even longer than my other post#at least i formatted it this time#sorta#this post went from endermen make me feel weird to oOoOo psychology at 3 am with no proof real quick#and gonna be honest thats not at all what i had planned but its okay
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As the clock strikes midnight, part 1
Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3Â / epilogue
âĽď¸ Taeyang x reader (nonbinary, female anatomy) x Jaeyoon; mentions of other SF9 members
âĽď¸ Suggestive (~2k words); smoking, mentions of alcohol, (lightly) implied BDSM. Mutual pining. Next part is going to be NSFW (and reveal more about the charactersâ history).
âĽď¸ Youâre a beast at work, having to be tough to climb up the corporate ladder, but what you never thought of is that your attitude might be intimidating to your long time crush. Luckily, your much more laid back friend is here to help... both of you.
âĽď¸ Disclaimer: this is just for fun! Iâm not claiming thatâs how they are in real life, itâs just my imagination doing whatever it wants. Read at your own discretion.
âAh, the exciting world of corporate banking.â
You were too tired to check the time, but one look over the room gave you a clear idea of what kind of stage the party has reached: vast office space, with all the desks pushed against the wall and a long table situated in the middle, was littered with barely-sober people, most of them in groups of two or three. The goal was to let coworkers of various titles and positions mingle in a casual manner, as the fairly young companyâs hierarchy and employer count was expanding proportionately to its growth - friendly office culture was a staple in this place. Truth was, after a couple drinks (or, in case of some tougher individuals, whole bottles of soju), everyone would group into their regular lunch break cliques, usually within the same department.
Long gone were the days when the business was much smaller, and it was easier for people from different departments to form close bonds.
Luckily, you remembered them very well, and thatâs why, as the party was dying down, you shared a (small and not very comfortable) couch with your two best colleagues: Lee Jaeyoon and Yoo Taeyang.
âLook at him. What a fighter,â Jaeyoon said with a hushed voice, pointing his almost full glass of whisky towards another corner of the spacious room. There, behind one of the squished-together desks, Quality Department leader Kim Inseong was still angrily babbling about work-related statistics to the nearly-wasted Training Supervisor, Baek Juho. The latter, with his forehead propped on his hand, kept waving at his superior to stop, as coherent words would not come out of his mouth at this point no matter how hard he tried. Inseong, incredibly professional yet warm and welcoming when sober, would do a total 180° after a single bottle of soju and turn into a snarky bastard ranting at everything going on in the company.
âSupervisor Baek is holding on strong, though,â Taeyang added in a matter-of-fact tone before taking a sip from his glass.
You couldnât help but cover your mouth and snort with amusement.
The three of you were an unusual group.Â
You all joined the company on the same day, and underwent basic training for a couple weeks. Even though Jaeyoon was close to your age, the gap between you and Taeyang was much bigger. Add their impressive height and you had to admit, it was awkward to sit between these two guys every single day. Soon enough though, your small talk during short breaks would turn more and more enjoyable, and when the last week rolled in, as the oldest one, you mustered up the courage to invite them to a nearby coffee shop. Formally, you just wanted to celebrate the end of your training stage, but honestly⌠You grew fond of them, so there was no harm in getting to know them better away from the workplace.
Who knew the three of you would find common ground during that fateful meeting?
âHey⌠Y/n⌠You there?â Jaeyoonâs voice snapped you out of a trip down the memory lane.
âYeah. What were you saying?â you asked, a bit embarrassed.
âYou donât seem to be having fun at all. I havenât seen you around the bar even once,â Jaeyoon ranted, haphazardly shaking his glass.
âYou know I donât drink.â, you stated calmly.
âAish⌠Itâs a party! No need to be so strict. Am I right?â
For some reason, Jaeyoon looked towards Taeyang with a wicked grin, and you followed. The youngest one, sitting by your right side, cleared his throat theatrically.
âIâll go get myself another one.â he mumbled, already leaving the couch.
âDonât overdo it!â Jaeyoon yelled, then turned back to you. âYou could really use some percents, though. Just saying.â
âI have an image to maintain,â you said quietly, crossing your arms against your chest.
âYou dressed like itâs every other day at work, too,â your friend pointed out, âItâs just a different colour.â
You looked at him resentfully. Thatâs true, tailored suits were your usual look, not just because you simply didnât like dresses or skirts. It was the easiest way to elongate your silhouette, and you were already lacking in height compared to all the higher-ups attending company meetings with you.
A powerful look was expected from the Compliance Supervisor who rose to that position in a record-breaking time and was nowhere near done career-wise.Â
Besides, you had to admit, your neat suits in a whole variety of colors boosted your confidence every single day. You had all of them adjusted, so they would accentuate your figure in all the right places. Oh, all the times you and Jaeyoon would shamelessly ask poor Taeyang whoâs got the best ass out of you two (âOkay, forget it. Taeyangie does,â Jaeyoon would end the competition each time, making Taeyang cringe).
"You're just jealous because I look better in red than you do," you barked, although lacking any real bite.Â
"Listen, what I'm trying to say isâŚ" Jaeyoon leaned dangerously close to your ear. "...I don't mind your uniforms, but someone over there is on the brink of losing his mind right now."Â
You backed off, wide-eyed. Your friend discreetly threw a glance towards Taeyang, who just came back with his glass refilled.Â
Still dumbfounded, you kept looking back and forth at each of your friends, not realizing how silly it must have looked.
"Did I miss anything?" Taeyang asked, clearly feeling something went down during his absence.Â
"Yeah, I just said that maybe we should leave this remnant of a party and move somewhere else," Jaeyoon replied, looking over your shoulder at the youngest.Â
You furrowed your eyebrows, but ultimately decided his idea wasn't that bad after all.Â
"I don't know⌠Wouldn't it be rude to leave so early?" Taeyang mused.Â
"Seokwoo left, like, at 9," Jaeyoon pointed out. "Way before anybody had a chance to get drunk."Â
"Ah, our lovely Escalation Specialist," you sighed, talking about Kim Seokwoo, your right hand man at the Compliance Department. "You could say the party escalated too much for him."
"At nine!", the older of your friends laughed.Â
âWhat time is it anyway?â you asked. It didnât matter that you could just check it yourself. You were used to people doing things like this for you around this place.
Jaeyoon, who knew it very well, fished his phone out of his shirt pocket.
âUh⌠Fifteen to twelve,â he announced.
Taeyang tapped your shoulder.Â
"Happy early birthday," he threw casually.Â
Pleasant warmth rose to your cheeks. You were just starting to smile, your eyes crinkling already, when Jaeyoon jumped in his seat, startling both of you.Â
"Wait, what?!" he yelled, making a few heads turn for a second or two.Â
"What kind of a friend are you, really?" Taeyang snorted dryly, "It's y/n's birthday tomorrow."Â
Jaeyoon let out a sound that could best be described as a happy roar and pounced forward in an attempt to give you a bear hug. You dodged it by moving backwards, thus colliding into Taeyang's side.Â
You briefly glanced at each other, awkwardly nodding as an apology, before he uttered a quick it's fine and slid further into the couch.Â
"Hey, that hug was supposed to be a present!" Jaeyoon whined, recovering his dignity after the failure.Â
"Thanks, but no, thanks." you retorted, staying at a safe distance.
"Okay, but now we really have to go somewhere else. This calls for a celebration!" Your overly enthusiastic companion wasn't giving up that easily.
You turned to your other friend.Â
"Taeyang?"
"That's enough social interaction for today," the boy in question replied, "One more crowded place and I'll pass out on the spot."Â
He was known for his introverted tendencies; even at work, he occupied a desk that was a bit further from everyone else, guaranteeing him all the peace he needed, and had only one coworker he was somewhat close to apart from you two.Â
"What about we go to my place instead? I've got no alcohol, but there are plenty of leftovers for a late dinner if you're hungry," you offered instead.Â
"Sounds like a plan!" Jaeyoon clasped his hands. "I'll pay for the cab."Â
Taeyang bottomed out his glass.Â
"Wanna go for a smoke while we wait?"
As soon as you put a cigarette in your mouth, Taeyang was there to light it. You could swear his eyes lingered on your lips, but maybe it was so late that your eyes started pulling tricks on you.Â
A good five minutes passed of the three of you smoking in silence, enjoying the cool summer breeze and the sight of a nearly full moon above you. Taeyang was the first to finish, with you following. Jaeyoon was the last to end his cigarette, throwing it into the trash can nearby in a somewhat angry manner.Â
"Taeyang, I can't possibly imagine a better time to tell them than now."
Both you and Taeyang turned your heads towards Jaeyoon.
"Tell what?" you posed a question, confused.Â
The guys exchanged looks. After that, Taeyang averted his eyes, while Jaeyoon locked his with yours.Â
"I think he should be the one to explain." Jaeyoon stated firmly.Â
"It's fine," Taeyang's voice was unexpectedly weak, "I'm fine with you telling them."Â
You felt your heartbeat quicken all of sudden.Â
"He's head over heels for you."Â
And then, it was as if your heart just stopped. No, that couldn't be. Your pretty, soft spoken dongsaeng you always had your eyes on? In love with you?
"No way." you muttered, turning to face Taeyang. He still couldn't bear to look at you. "Is that true?"Â
Internally, you were screaming for him to say yes.Â
Poor guy seemed like he was about to get a panic attack, breathing in and out loudly, hands balled into fists. You could see him biting his lips.
"Come on." Jaeyoon ushered, "I did the hard part for you. Now it's your turn."Â
Taeyang slowly raised his gaze. His doll-like eyes were glazed over with tears - a sight so stunning it almost made you gasp.Â
"It's true. It's been going on for more than two years now." His voice was quiet, but steady.
You kept staring at his gorgeous, flushed face, unable to say a word. It was a clue for him to continue.Â
"I knew I had a chance. I'm not stupid. I noticed you treated me differently than Jaeyoon or any other friend at work. But I also knew your no relationships at the workplace policy and your attitude towards age gaps, and decided to keep it to myself."Â
Your heart was about to burst.Â
"I'm just as demanding in love as I am at work," you explained, "I'd ruin you."
Jaeyoon circled you. As soon as he stopped, he put his left hand on Taeyang's shoulder, while his right on yours.Â
"Tell them," he encouraged the younger guy again.Â
As if on command, there was fire burning in Taeyang's gaze. You felt it consume you as a whole.
"I'm not fragile," the boy declared, âI want to be ruined.â
You thought you were dreaming, but a squeeze of Jaeyoonâs hand on your shoulder anchored you back to reality, this reality being your crush at first sight confessing to you.
âYour confidence⌠How strict and relentless you areâŚâ Taeyang went on, his voice breaking, âThe tone of your voice⌠And your suits. Oh, your suits. It all turns me on so much.â
âWhat a guy,â Jaeyoon chuckled, shaking his head.
Both you and Taeyang decided to ignore him for now.
âI repeat,â Taeyang insisted, âI want to be ruined.â
Despite Jaeyoonâs continuous hold on both of you, you reached towards Taeyangâs face to caress his smooth cheeks with the back of your fingers. That was all he needed to surge forward and plant a brief, fluttering kiss on your lips that still managed to leave you with your head spinning, needing more.
âHappy birthday, y/n,â Taeyang whispered, holding his forehead against yours.
It was only then when you realized you were both breathing heavily, even though nothing had happened yet.
The moment was interrupted by the ringtone of Jaeyoonâs phone. At last, the guy ceased his hold on you to check the device.
âOkay, lovebirds, the cab is here. Itâs gonna be a fun night.â
You glanced at Jaeyoon, then locked your eyes with Taeyangâs again. He reciprocated your devious smile.
(to be continued)
#sf9 scenarios#sf9 smut#sf9 imagines#yoo taeyang imagine#yoo taeyang scenario#Another long piece of writing...#Please bear with me#As the clock strikes midnight
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tastes like cola | lee jihoon
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synopsis: in which you force jihoon to be your fake boyfriend in order to finally beat your cousin at something.
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genre: fake dating!au, humor, fluff
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warnings: none!
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word count: 2,250
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pairings: jihoon x female reader
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notes: this one is dedicated to my luvie @urlocalcaratclownâ !! donât think i forgot you mentioning this is one of your favorite prompts >:D i hope you like this one lucy <3
âAbsolutely not.â
âBut Jihoon!â He lets out an exasperated sigh, stepping out of the kitchen to go into his studio. You trail after him like a lost puppy, planning not to leave him alone until he says yes.
âYn I said no. Iâm not going to pretend to be your boyfriend just to prove to your cousin that you can, in fact, find someone whoâd want to date you!â You press a hand to your heart, ego slightly deflating at the comment, but you choose to ignore it. âPleaseeee?â
âNo.â You run up so that youâre in front of him, stopping him from walking. He glares at you, and you give him the best puppy eyes you can muster.
âI will literally buy you cola whenever you want for the rest of the year if you do this for me.â He raises an eyebrow at the offer, and you internally smirk.Â
â... Iâm listening.â
âI just need you to go on one double date with her and her boyfriend. Sheâs been making fun of me for so long, we have this eternal competition that weâve never actually vocalized, but I swear itâs a thing.â Jihoon blinks at you, and you give him a big smile.
âSo will you do it?â He stares at you for a moment, watching the way your nose scrunches up as you await his answer.Â
Cute.Â
âMake it cola and kbbq and you got yourself a deal.â You scowl at the addition to the original offer, but still outstretch your hand towards Jihoon.Â
âAlright, deal.â Jihoon grins, softly shaking your hand.Â
âNow can you come sing background vocals for the song Iâm making for my class?â Rolling your eyes, you nod, stepping out of the way so that the two of you can walk to his studio room.
âShould we run through it again?â Jihoon nudges you, giving you a smile in an attempt to offer some reassurance. âWe absolutely do not need to run through it again. Iâm very sure that we have our first date story memorized yn.â
You nervously bite your lip as the sight of the arcade draws nearer with each step you and Jihoon take. Your cousin has practically made everything between the two of you a competition since you were kids. If you got a dollhouse? Sheâd beg her parents to get a mansion for her dolls. You decided to grow out your hair? She grew hers longer. You were a cheerleader? She became the cheerleading captain. You lift a hand up to your mouth, about to nibble on your nails when Jihoon reaches up and takes it. He lets your hand fall, and intertwines your fingers with his.
Your eyes widen, and you turn to look at your pretend boyfriend, who is looking at anything but you. âJ-Ji?â
âYou gotta break that nail biting habit of yours when you're nervous. Itâll all work out yn, and besides, the arcade is like two steps away and itâd be weird if we walked in without holding hands.â You stare at him for a moment, before letting out a breath and looking forward again.Â
stop falling for him you absolute buffoon, you think to yourself as your face gets warmer. Jihoon is biting back the smile from breaking out onto his face, trying not to focus on how your hand seems to just⌠fit.
He opens the door for the two of you once you reach the arcade, and you step in. Immediately the feeling of dread hits you when your cousin turns around and smiles at you. âYn!âÂ
âHi Mina.â You greet, lack of enthusiasm really showing that even Jihoon picks up on it. You let go of his hand to return the hug she gives you. He muffles down a chuckle when Mina turns to him, an indecipherable look appearing before she changes it back to a happy expression. âYn, is this your friend?â
âHeâs actually my-â
âIâm her boyfriend, Jihoon. Itâs nice to meet you.â Jihoon interrupts, stepping over and holding your hand once again. Minaâs eyes practically bulge out of her head as she glances between the two of you.Â
âN-no way..â She mumbles as she takes the chance to quickly do a onceover of Jihoon. His blonde hair is parted to the side, showing off his forehead and strong eyebrows. Heâs wearing a simple white shirt and black jeans, slightly revealing his muscles.Â
âWhereâs your boyfriend?â You ask, snapping your cousin out of her drool fest. She lets out a grin, turning around right as a tall guy walks over. He wraps his arm around her, giving you a kind smile.Â
âBong-pal, this is my cousin yn and her boyfriend Jihoon.â He extends his hand out to shake, and you outstretch yours, eyes widening at the firm grip heâs got. âNice to meet you guys.âÂ
âShould we go play some games?â He asks, and the three of you nod.Â
âWell itâd be strange if we came to an arcade just to stand in the lobby.â You joke, to which Bong-pal laughs. Minaâs eye twitches, and she turns to you. âWanna play basketball?âÂ
Your competitive fire ignites in your chest when you see the glint in your cousinâs eye, so you let out a small smile.Â
âSure.â
oh god here we go⌠Jihoon thinks to himself once you turn away from Mina, catching sight of the furrow to your brows.
âFuck yeah!â Mina shouts once she gets another point in air hockey, and you clutch the striker tightly in your hand. The two of you have been competing in multiple different arcade games for the past two hours. Youâve won three out of the five games, while Mina has won two. Her poor boyfriend just walked off to play other games by himself because it was clear Mina had one goal and one goal only.Â
Jihoon reaches out and rests his hand on top of yours, causing you to turn to look at him, snapping out of your thoughts. Your features immediately soften when he gives you a reassuring grin.
âTry and relax yn, youâre literally clutching the paddle so hard your knuckles were white.â You let out a sigh, and he pats your head with a grin. Mina raises an eyebrow at the gesture, turning to find Bong-pal sitting at one of the racing games. She glares, looking back towards you and Jihoon.Â
they seem more on the friendly side than the romantic side, Mina thinks to herself as she stares at the two of you. Itâs like a lightbulb goes off in her head when she comes up with the idea that the two of you might not actually be dating.Â
âJi, what do you like about my dear cousin?â Mina suddenly asks, and Jihoon freezes. You curse to yourself when you remember that you and Jihoon didnât practice any answers for that type of question.
âWhere did we meet?â You ask a tired Jihoon. He lets out a yawn, leaning farther back into the couch. He closes his eyes, releasing a sigh.
âAt uni.â
âWho asked who out?âÂ
âI asked you out because you were too scared to make a move.â
âHow long have we been dating?â Jihoon opens one eye to glance at you, seeing the determined look on your face. He smiles at the sight, finding it ridiculous how passionate you are about a fake relationship.
âTwo months now.â
âWhen did you ask me out?âÂ
âMay 27.â
âPerfect.â
âI, uh. I-â Mina smirks, and you feel your heart drop into your asshole when you realize she might be onto your guysâ act. You let out a breath, about to open your mouth to try and change the subject.
âI like how determined she is. When she has her mind set on something, she does whatever it takes to achieve that goal. Even if thereâs a lot of bumps along the way, she still perseveres.â Your mouth drops open at the honesty in Jihoonâs voice, warmth rising to your cheeks as he stares at the puck.
âSheâs really funny, sweet, and most of all, sheâs kind. When we first met,â Jihoon lets out a small chuckle at the memory. âI was really tired that day because I stayed up writing a song the night before. I wasnât looking where I was going, and I ended up bumping into her, spilling my coffee onto her white shirt. Yet she was the one who kept profusely apologizing to me, offering to get me a new cup of coffee and explaining how clumsy she is.âÂ
Jihoon turns to look at you, letting out a small smile when his eyes lock with yours. âIâd do anything for her, even go on a double date with people I donât know.â You cough into your elbow, trying to will away the warmth in your cheeks. Mina blinks once Jihoon finishes, looking down at her hands clutching the striker.Â
âSounds like you really like yn, huh?â She asks, and he nods.Â
âYeah, guess I do.â Jihoon mumbles, quiet enough that you almost donât catch it, but you do. Your heartbeat is fast and loud against your ears, smile breaking out onto your face.Â
Mina coughs, taking a sip of water. âLetâs start playing again, shall we?âÂ
âWell, it was nice meeting you Jihoon. Great seeing you too cuz.â Mina says, forcing out a laugh as she gives you a hug. You give her a genuine smile, and Jihoon chuckles about it, knowing that youâre only happy because you beat Mina at air hockey.
âIt was great meeting you Bong-pal. Iâll see you at the next family dinner Mina!â You and Jihoon wave at the two, turning around to leave when your cousin stops you.
âWait! Let me take a picture of you guys.â You and Jihoon pause, slowly turning around to see Mina already holding up her phone towards the two of you. You let out an awkward chuckle, getting ready to pose with Jihoon so that the two of you can fucking leave.Â
âNo be cuter!â Mina whines, and your eye twitches. Thereâs slight tension between you and Jihoon after he literally poured his heart out about what he loves about you, so now you just want to go home so the two of you can talk it out.
âIs this not cute?â Jihoon asks, arm wrapped around your waist. Mnia shakes her head, giving the two of you a devilish smile.
âKiss!â You choke on your saliva while Jihoon turns into literal stone right beside you. Your cousin tilts her head to the side at your reactions, feeling satisfied that sheâs almost caught you in your lie. She smirks, âWhy? Is something the matter? I thought you guys were dating.â
âNothing wrong! Iâll kiss my boyfriend.â You state, and Jihoon looks at you with wide eyes as you turn to face him. He mouths the words, are you sure? when he tentatively places his hands on your waist. In return, you give him a nervous smile, wrapping your arms around the back of his neck. The two of you stare at each other for a moment, before you close your eyes and press your lips to his.
Jihoon squeezes your waist, feeling his heart practically burst into butterflies at the feeling of you kissing him. He pulls you a bit closer, and youâre so caught up in the fact that his lips are soft and taste like cola due to his obsession, that youâre unable to hear Mina saying she took the picture.
âUh, yn.â
âYn.â
âYN!â You and Jihoon jump away from each other, turning towards your annoyed cousin and her amused boyfriend. Mina taps her phone, telling you to turn on your airdrop. Once you do, she airdrops the photos, before bidding goodbye again. Once her and Bong-pal walk out of the arcade, you and Jihoon slowly turn towards each other.Â
His eyes trail down to your mouth, taking note of your lips being more swollen than before. While you also stare at his, noticing of his lips being a bit pinker than before.
âLetâs get out of here.â You mumble, turning around and walking out before Jihoon can get a word in. He grins, following after you.Â
âHey!â You continue to walk, pretending to not hear him calling you.
âYn!âÂ
âYn~â Jihoon rolls his eyes, walking a bit faster so that heâs now standing in front of you. âOh Ji, I didnât hear you.âÂ
âYeah, yeah.â You open your mouth to protest but he shoots you a look, immediately making you back down.Â
âYou promised to buy me kbbq whenever I asked.â Jihoon says, smirking at you when your timid expression turns into a glare. You let out a sigh, âFine, fine. Iâll buy you kbbq.â
The two of you begin walking in the opposite direction in a tense silence. Well, the tension mainly comes from you as you are unsure of what to say now that you and Jihoon have kissed and you really wanna do it again. Youâre snapped out of your thoughts when Jihoon slips your hand into his, letting out a content smile when heâs reminded of how well they fit.Â
âWe can talk about it when we eat.â He says softly, giving your hand a squeeze. A small smile escapes you, realizing that today was quite a success.Â
i guess my fake relationship will turn into something real.
#seventeen#woozi x reader#seventeen fluff#seventeen angst#seventeen scenarios#seventeen woozi#seventeen jihoon#seventeen oneshot#seventeen oneshots#seventeen x reader#woozi scenarios#woozi fluff#woozi seventeen#woozi oneshots#jihoon scenarios#jihoon x reader#jihoon fluff#jihoon au
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Can i have a oneshot for gogol comforting his crying s/o?
Pairing: Nikolai Gogol x Reader Word Counts: 2.3k Note: Hello anon! Please forgive me for taking a long time to do your request! Since it was the first request on my blog, I thought I wanted to make it special. But I was stuck with writerâs block. So I used my old work before and re-edit it instead so it will be slightly different to match with the request! Iâm sorry and I hope you will enjoy it and special big thanks to @soukokuwuâ for helping me proofread this one! Really, thank you so muchhhh <3!!!
It was empty.
In this dark cold continent, there was nothing but void and darkness inside. You either existed or your mind was playing a trick on you. It felt like a grand illusion - that nothing was real. What you were searching for was not there. Nothing you did would ever make you feel complete in any sense. There was always this feeling that haunted you, always reminding you of how miserable and disgusting you were. Gnawed and woven to your very soul like wild ivy tendrils wrapping around your empty heart and kept whispering down to the deepest recesses of your mind.
You were a monster.
You were a demon.
You were a human with no heart.
You were no different than a dead soul.
Then, why were you still alive?
For what purpose were you even here?
You shut your eyes tightly. You wanted to scream and block every deafening sound that suffocated you in this insufferable world. It exacerbated and tightened in your chest the more you struggled. Had it not been your sanity that kept you sane, you would already be consumed by madness. But would it be better if you just let yourself loose? Let it take over and become nothing but a shell of a living monster? Would it be better just to let what remains of you and burn it into a fire of anguish and let it turn to ash? Let it destroy you with the spite and hatred you harbor towards everything?
You were desperate to reach for something.
Anything.
And that was when he came along, when you were at a loss, as though he knew.
"Would you like to join the Decay of Angels?" He had said, with eyes as vacant as yours, but his hypnotizing violet eyes beneath that moonlight was much deeper and darker. It feels like you would lose yourself and drown in it if you were to stare any longer. Yet without exchanging any further words, he seemed to understand the unspoken pain that has festered through your being at that very moment. You looked exactly like a lost child that desperately needed guidance, that needed to cling onto something.
"...What will I get if I join you?"
"You will be free. From your sins."
That was what he had offered. His soothing, saintly voice was like a remedy that could mend your broken soul that needed salvation, which had been beyond redemption at that point. You had nothing to lose and thus accepted his invitation back then, with a little hope thinking something might change. But after so many years, it still remained the same. You were still the same old you. No matter how much you wanted to pretend, you could never fake a smile and pretend to be happy. It felt like it would be hypocritical- like it would only make you lose sight of yourself even more.
Then, what is it that you were searching for, actually?
Why were you still here?
A soft sigh escaped your chapped lips as you stared long at the night sky above. The stars twinkled, a million light-years away from the orbit. Yet you still reached out your hand, as if attempting to pick one and keep it in your pocket in a futile endeavor.
"A beautiful night, isn't it?" a familiar voice chirped, interrupting your time alone. You were never one that liked the companionship of others, but even so, no matter how hard you tried to ignore him, he'd just pester you even more and pop out randomly, much to your distaste. He was the last member of the Decay of Angels that you would want to interact with.
"Why are you here?"
"Aww, don't be so cold with me~! I merely passed by and just wanted to say hello to you~" Gogol winked and gave you a finger gun, as though his intentions weren't obvious.
"Bother someone else."
"Ah, are you upset that I'm not Dos?" He smirked as he guessed that.
You felt that he could easily read right through you and you didnât like it - the feeling of being exposed. Fyodor was a man of mystery, a puzzle that you couldn't solve. You thought of him as someone who understood you and despite the terror associated with his name, he was still someone that you respected profoundly. Not out of fear, but maybe, admiration. But you hated that Gogol was right. You wished you were talking to Fyodor instead of the clown, and Gogol had gotten it right on the nose. And yet here you two were, with different circumstances that bring you two to join the association, even with different goals.
"Shut up. Just leave me alone, will you?"
"Aw... but no one wants to play with me. Even Sigma is busy. But you have been doing nothing but stargazing~ Don't you get tired doing that every night? If it were me, I'd die of boredom!" He flailed his arms in an attempt to get your attention. You cursed under your breath. This clown was too energetic for you to handle.
"None of your business what I do." You replied back to him crudely. But he took a seat beside you anyway, sitting by the edge of the building and swinging his legs back and forth with those comical pointy shoes of his. For someone his age, he acted rather childishly. Though, maybe that's just one of his antics as a clown. But he was the epitome of someone you could never understand. Since you can ever be two-faced like he is.
Gogol hummed. "You always come here, why is that?"
"I told you; it's none of your business."
"Aw. Here I thought that we were friends~" Gogol made it sound like he was hurt by your words.
You ruefully snorted at that, "Funny hearing that coming from you." Did he think you were that naive? Naive enough to think that you two were friends in this organization that was solely established with terrorists that can backstab you at any given moment?
"Is it not right? You've been with us for years, yet you seem so distant. Just like the stars." He remarked while spreading out his left arm to the sky.
"Is that so?" You looked up at it again, attempting to count the innumerable stars, albeit knowing how futile it was.
"Say... why did you join the Decay of Angels?" You posed the question to him, though you werenât really curious. You just needed something to fill the awkward silence.
"Why, indeed. If I must answer that, why don't you tell me your reason first?"
Reason. You were still unsure about it yet. Why? You had killed so many just for that answer alone but the book that was your mind still drew a blank. Nothing was written on it yet. Was it because you were drawn to Fyodor's words at that time? Had he lured you in with nothing but empty promises?
"Perhaps⌠I was searching for the meaning of my existence." You curtly answered, but your mind still pondered on it.
"Then, have you found it?" Gogol asked, evincing interest to know as he turned to look at you sideways. There was something between you, something that somehow made you feel connected to him. Both of you were pawns that would soon be disposed of once you have served your purpose. It didnât scare you, though. You would do what you had to, even if that meant dying in the end. The only thing you were scared of is regret - of not finding what you were searching for in the first place.
"...I don't know. Maybe not yet. Maybe I never will." You said, feigning nonchalance. "Then, what about you?" Now it was your turn to look into his molten gold eye, the one scarred with a vertical cut. Was there a story behind it? You wonder inwardly, but you couldnât bring yourself to ask Gogol about it. In the Decay of Angels, every member came from a different background and it was unknown what they did before. If you asked him he might tell, either in a jesting manner or make it overly complicated, like another riddle you had to solve.
"I search for my freedom. Just like a bird that soars the skies without being bound by anything," he replied with a wistful tone and his expression softened, "I am seeking for a perfect freedom, like that."
"Freedom, huh..." You repeated, "you're one strange guy." Indeed, he was. Nikolai Gogol was an enigma himself, just as Fyodor was. As though he was standing between the bridge of psychosis and rationality that he wants to get rid of. You failed at understanding his essence, but you could empathize with his pursuit.
"Funny hearing that coming from you~" He retorted with your earlier words. "But birds and stars, are they not so different?"
"How so? They are two different entities, to start with."
"Because both are up far in the sky, seemingly unreachable for a mortal like us. Even so, we still gaze at them longingly, wishing upon the star, wishing to fly, wishing to escape from this warm, wet hell."
You couldnât refute that. Technically, he wasnât wrong.
"Then, have you found it?"
Gogol looked at you again, his eye reflecting every little light in the world that you see. He softened his countenance as if he actually understood what lay within your heart that you tried to conceal.
"Maybe I do. Now that I met you."
Within the span of a second that felt like an eternity, your heart thumped loudly in your ribcage, like he took your breath away at that moment with his gaze alone.
No...
Don't fall for it.
Don't fall for it again.
It would be the same. He would just be like the others. He too, would leave once he saw what was inside - that which was hiding and cloaking you in the darkness, that which enshrouded and imprisoned you inside.
And just like he said, you were exactly like the stars.
You were in front of him, and yet you felt so distant and too far away to reach.
"...It's nice talking to you. But I must take my leave now..." You wanted to withdraw yourself before you started to harbor hope and belief in someone again. Before you fell for it again, only to be tripped afterward. Only to be deceived, left broken, and uncared for years.
But he held you back by your wrist.
"Won't you stay a little while longer, my dove? A star will one day perish, and I would feel so lonely if you are truly gone." His voice somehow pulls the strings of your heart. But you know better than to fall for him.
"Wouldn't it be better? You don't know who I am..." You tried to break free, yet he was stubborn, he didnât want to let you go. "I am not what you think I am... I'm just another monster who has no heart. You shouldn't get close to me..." Your eyes were already starting to well up with hot tears. The stinging pain in your chest throbbed, each passing second with him made you feel suffocated, as though causing you to drown in your own misery. Inevitable it was that you would bring him down with you as well.
"...Or else, you would destroy yourself too," you warned him,
"Youâre either human or you are not, either you are a monster with no heart or not, what difference does it make?" He questioned you back, "Be whatever you want to be. It's your freedom, itâs your life, itâs your call."
"It's easy for you to say that... I'm not like you."
"Then tell me, what do you wish for every time you look at the stars? Have you no will for yourself? Have you not wished to break free from your cage as well?"
"I..." Stumped with his questions, you gazed into his eye once again, tears blurring your vision. Everything that was pent up inside you until this moment felt like it was crumbling, disintegrating into dust. Like waves crashing against the sand, such brittle was your resolution now when faced with his raw, naked, and pure emotions when he took off his clown mask.
"I want to... I just want to escape from this place... from my demons..." You said with a trembling, shaky voice, all the remaining strength in you threatening to leave the more you looked into his eyes. What kind of pain does he hide behind them? Why did it hurt you as much as well? As ironic as it sounded, in this moment, he looked more human than you were.
"Then, I will be the one that frees you from it now, my dove. Go, fly to the stars as you wish." He said and held you near, and contrary to his words that coached you to be free, he actually looked like he never wanted to let you go, yet you felt strangely safe and found warmth in his arms. You felt like you were finally being liberated from that which imprisoned you in that bottomless darkness. Even if what you see is just a glimpse of light. Then, that should be enough rather than nothing at all.
"You are beautiful when you soar free that way."
Two humans. Two monsters. Two beating broken hearts.
Under that starry night that illuminated the sky with constellations, it's like your fate entwined and mirrored each other on how almost tragically similar it was, with the demons that were trapped inside the both of you, seeking solace in each other's existence to remind you that you two were still human beings that just wished to be free.
#nikolai gogol x reader#gogol x reader#bungou stray dogs#bsd#nikolai gogol#finally i post something after so long haha xD#curse me and my procrastination#orz#i work on other requests so slow too#please pardon me and gimme time ;w;
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Captain America: The First Avenger pt. 2
First off, spoilers if youâve never seen the movies and you want to. And, english IS NOT my first language, so excuse me if I make mistakes.
Yâall, this specific scene reminds me of that scene where Elastigirl is trapped in all those doors and she kicks the guysâ asses. Like, tell me you saw Steve hitting this guyâs head with the door and your mind didnât immediately take you to Elastigirl. Or was it only me? Just me? Ok, letâs keep on going.
Nvm, I found out why it reminds me so much of that scene. Theyâre dressed the same way!
Can we acknowledge how awkward Steveâs interaction with the imprisoned soldiers is? Who told him it was a good idea to say âIâm Captain Americaâ to these people? Although fair, he did get them out rather quickly and he is technically Captain America, but I donât know, itâs weird. Steeb, you liar, you havenât knocked Hitler out at all.
I love Steveâs loyalty to Bucky. It gets annoying in the next movies, but in this movie it just shows me how alone Steve was and how important Bucky was to him, because when you have very little people who care for you, your instincts will always be to protect them.Â
I love the soldiers just wrecking havoc outside. Itâs a fun scene seeing them fight back and use HYDRAâs weapons. How much property do you think they destroyed? Because I keep on wondering, did this act of rebellion from Steeb help turn the tide just a little bit?
There is a similarity between Red Skull and future Steve, and that is that, when they believe there is something more important than anything else, they are willing to sacrifice everyone and everything else for that. In this case, Schmidt was ready to destroy the entire base when he realized he was not going to win, just to save the studies, and future Steve was ready to endanger thousands of people to end HYDRA (CATWS), and to save Bucky (CACW).Â
I feel sad for Bucky. He was tortured back in the 40s, then for 70 years, and then he died and came back to life, how does one survive that? He is one strong man, but I just, his entire life saddens me.
I wonder what Bucky thought after he heard Red Skull call Steve Captain America. I would find it hilarious, even in that situation, but thatâs just my weird ass talking. Why did Schmidt think he was Erskineâs greatest success when he looks red and Steve looks like this:
America, explain.
Another note to self: Schmidt is a bitch, but I love his car and I would go back in time to the 40s to steal it.Â
Bucky is so brave, though. He was tortured, experimented on, completely weak, and still, he put on a brave face and crossed that thing (I have no idea what theyâre called) at a steady face, knowing that it could have fallen way before it did. Thanks to the Russoâs I had forgotten how much I loved Bucky Barnes. He is a great character.Â
Letâs talk about how pure of heart, dumb of ass Steve is. He had no idea he was gonna survive his little stunt jump, yet he did it with little hesitation because âI have to get my friend out of hereâ. Pure of heart, dumb of ass.Â
I canât begin to imagine Peggyâs pain when she heard Phillips say that Steve was dead. Especially because if he was dead it would most definitely mean she would have no protection against whatever punishment Phillips saw fit for her actions. And yet she just wonât back down, because she knew she did the right thing.Â
The scene where Steve gets back with the 107th is such a great scene, because it shows exactly what Steve is made of. He has a strong mindset, he will fight for what he believes in, and he would do anything for others. Itâs a powerful scene.
I wonder if Steve unconsciously wanted the praise he got at that moment. He was the small guy his entire life, the one who was beat and punched on a daily basis, and for once in his life he was being praised for something he thought he deserved. I think that deep down this is exactly what he wanted: recognition.
I wonder if Buckyâs face when Steve stopped looking at him was because he thought he lost his friend, because he was jealous, or because he thought he wasnât needed anymore. Bucky and Steve grew up together, and when you see a friend youâve always helped become something better when youâre not with them, I think that can seriously mess you up, especially if you feel like they donât need you anymore, because, after all, they thrived after you left. I donât believe he was that jealous, though. Yeah, he used to be the strong guy girls would look at, and now he wasnât, but Iâm inclined to believe itâs my third option. He was so used to going around saving Steve from his death wish (thatâs what I call it, because Iâm still surprised he survived all those years getting punched), that now he sees Steve save him and save everyone else, and he knows that, were Steve asked to go alone to a fight, he would not be able to do anything.Â
Steeb, you lilâ bitch, I know you donât like cameras and stages, but thatâs a medal of valour, I think itâs very important.Â
Can we talk about how hot Steve Rogers looks with his army suit? Because he does. Also, as Iâve said before, he ainât dumb, so, if everything got enhaced with the serum, he must definitely had his intelligence amplified, and I like to believe that he has photographic memory, thatâs why he could remember the map he saw when he saved Bucky.Â
Iâm sorry, but what the fuck Steve? Who gave you permission to look like this?
(Youâre welcome)
I like his team. Steve was always a good leader (Iâm not even gonna touch CACW), he knew who to trust and who to take with him. Besides, like I said before, he is a great strategist. I think thatâs what makes him such a great leader.Â
I guess I get why yâall ship Stucky. I donât ship them, I love their friendship (once again, Iâm not even gonna touch CACW with a ten miles pole), and I think theyâre sweet, so I guess I can understand the ship.
Peggy Carter in a red dress is all I never knew I needed. She looks like a queen that will definitely punch you in the face if you deserve it.Â
I love the bar scene. The music is lovely, Buckyâs awkwardness is hilarious, Steeb and Peggy flirting is sweet as heck, and Buckyâs âIâm invisible. Iâm turning into you, itâs like a horrible dreamâ itâs the perfect dialogue.Â
Okay, how did Howard get all of that glass on his face and didnât get more than one single cut? Is he stronger than he looks or is it just movie magic? I guess weâll never know.Â
Awkward Steeb is lovely as heck. But I donât like the blonde. I guess itâs because I am not a fan of stolen kisses, I feel they would make someone uncomfortable.Â
Note to self: finally, a movie in sepia tones that isnât situated in Mexico!
Coming back to the movie: the whole scene with the blonde woman is so freaking awkward. It was totally unnecessary. Like yeah, I get it was to show a jealous Peggy, but ugh, I hate it. Steeb looks son out of his element, it gives me that je ne sais quoi.
Note to self, again: if I ever want to date a woman, make sure not to talk to them the way Steeb did when talking about Peggy and Stark. Steeb, you idiot.Â
Gotta go back on track.Â
Stark said
The scene where Peggy shoots Steveâs shield used to make me laugh so hard when I was younger. Now it makes me irrationally angry. Peggy more so than anyone should know that bullets ricochet, she was lucky she that the bullets didnât hit someone else after hitting the shield and just fell to the floor.Â
Three things about the different scenes after this last one, the one where Steve and the Howling Commandos raid all HYDRA and Nazi bases they can: Steve looks so cool on his suit, I love Red Skullâs car, and the Howling Commandos are amazing.Â
This is still sweet:
Bucky Barnes with a rifle could kill me any day, thank you. Also, I love this scene, itâs such an emblematic CA scene:
Oh oh, the train sceneâs coming up next. What do I do now? Do I watch it, do I cry, do I suffer in silence (evidently no)? I was not prepared for this. I regret all my decisions up till this moment.
Iâm never gonna get tired of saying that Steve is an amazing strategist. Just so yâall know, if it was me over the train, I wouldâve already fallen to my inevitable death. Is it already clear enough that I love James Barnes more than I probably should? No? Then excuse me while I scream into the void aout how much I love this man. Also, him with short hair? 100/10 would recommend again.Â
I love how battered (I think I used the right word) Steveâs shield is. Itâs a representation of his battles and itâs, I donât know, itâs calling me. I guess I love when something shows everything theyâve gone through.
Ahhhhhh, THAT part is coming and Iâm not ready!!!!! James Barnes, if you read this, I love you. Itâs a painful scene to watch, if Iâm being honest. Steve loves this man, in my opinion, as a brother, and seeing him at deathâs door, you can see the pain on their expressions, one knows theyâre gonna die, and the other one knows theyâre gonna lose their brother. I donât think Iâd be the same person if that happened to me. And Steveâs cries, bitch, my heart.
That killed me, sorry.Â
I still admire Zolaâs intelligence, and his sneakiness with the whole SHIELDRA thing. Like, I hate that bitch and I hope he died a very painful death, but he is a great character and I enjoy his scenes.Â
Who eats steak with milk? I just wanna know, find me behind the Dennyâs.Â
I like the whole Zola and phillips scene, it makes sense, because of course heâd want to live. But tell me how you look at someone in the eyes and expect them to believe some bullshit about gods and infinite power? At least Phillip took the whole âhis goal is everythingâ comment, because I sure as hell wouldnâtâve.Â
Red Skullâs little speech about the Valkyrie is okay, I guess, but he mentions something that reminded me strongly of CATWS. He said âIf they shoot down one plane, hundreds more will rain fire upon them.â Iâm just thinking about the Helicarriers that were supposed to just, ya know, kill everyone that posed a threat to HYDRA. I think itâs a good parallel.Â
Note to self, again: Iâm not gonna get tired of asking who was the idiot who decided to name this division HYDRA, made their slogan âif they cut off one head, two more shall take its placeâ then had their logo be an octopus without two extremities. Who do I have to fight?
I love the scene where everyone is screaming Hail HYDRA, because it shows you that, like Steve, Schmidt has presence, and a powerful voice, and he knows how to make people share his ideals. I enjoy it very much.
I feel sorry for Steve. I, listening to him talk to Peggy when he clearly has been crying, telling her that he cannot get drunk, which means that heâs tried it already, itâs a painful scene to watch. Chris Evans is such an amazing actor. He can emulate feelings so easily. Seeing him cry and suffer, God, it pains my heart. I honestly didnât remember this scene, and to watch it without warning, well, it made me sadder than Buckyâs actual death.
âIâm not gonna stop until ol of HYDRA is dead or captured.â Brings a new light to CATWS for me, what about you?
I will leave it here, mostly because this shit is getting longer than I expected it to be. Anyway, I hope you guys enjoy this as much as I did. See you tomorrow.
#mcu#marvel cinematic universe#marvel#captain america#CATFA#steve rogers#the first avenger#character analysis#peggy carter#bucky barnes#i honestly thank you if you got here#love y'all#hope you enjoy this
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Squeeze that bunny tail!
Part 2
Description: The RAD student council as well as the exchange students help out at a bar where, oops, the staff´s dress codes are those sweet bunny outfits that we all know and thirst for. The MCs, Violet and Clover, play a game of who can touch the most bunny tails over the evening without getting caught. Prepare for fluff, funny innuendos as well as my thirst over hot boys in bunny outfits.
The story is divided in several parts and will be updated every few days. Find Part 1 here.
Story continues below the cut, hope you enjoy!
Both, Violet and Clover, were fair players, so, as they weren't able to walk around in a pair the whole evening, Violet and Clover had to trust each other in counting their own points.
Their utmost priority, however, was still to help out at the bar, so they had to focus on that for most of the time. But whenever there was a chance tangible (in the most literal sense lol), their minds immediately switched back to their little competition.
Violet had already started with one point advantage, due to the squeeze she had given Beel's tail.
But the girl was up for the thrill, so it didn't take too long until she had found her next target.
Everyone's beloved angel man Simeon was on cooking duty with her and Barbatos.
While the butler was easily handling all of their tasks on his own, the other two were trying their best to actually help him instead of being in the way.
They were chopping down ingredients that Barbatos could throw into the hellfire hot pot he was preparing when it happened...
A cheeky little squeeze while Simeon was turning to grab another veggie, and Violet got her second point already.
The angel didn't seem to have noticed, as he kept talking with this precious smile on his lips.
The real danger, however, came through the door immediately after.
Glancing up from the pompom that Violet had just given a good squish, she locked eyes with Luke.
They stared at each other for a hot second, then Violet straightened up again, trying to remain composed while Luke looked like losing his shit any second.
"Ah, Luke!" Simeon interrupted his own narration. "Perfect timing!"
Violet gave a silent sarcastic laugh. No, not a perfect timing at all...
Luke was still trying to cope with the sin he had just witnessed, but now Barbatos approached him as well.
"Could I ask for your help with the special menu's 'halo donuts'?â Barbatos asked. âSimeon claimed it to be your specialty."
Now Luke was blushing at the compliment.
"U-uhm... Well, yes, I do make quite good donuts... Fine, I'll help!"
As he passed Violet, he threw her a last sceptical glance, but soon the girl could let out a relieved breath.
Getting Luke to fuss over reaching for Simeon's butt was certainly not something she needed, not so soon into the game...
----------------
Clover was trying to gather some safe points before risking anything.
Her main goal was to get at least ONE point, to be frank.
Looking at her options for low-risk points, her heart was beating for one particular target, but her blushy excitement made it impossible to approach that gluttonous teddy bear.
So she settled on probably the easiest target of all.
Belphie's first shift consisted of... Sleeping. Like, literally. The idea was to let him nap until his energy tanks were filled enough for him to actually be useful for proper work.
Huddled over the bar, the youngest of the demon brothers seemed so vulnerable that even Clover could bring up enough courage to go for that tail.
Couldn't be that hard, right?
Well, it could.
Just as she was about the stretch out her shaking hand, someone walked right into her way and startled her completely.
As the girl gave an awkward squeal, Mammon looked at her with almost as much fright in his eyes.
"Waah, human, what are ya screamin´ at?!"
"I-I didn't... See you there..." Clover mumbled.
"I literally just passed by..." He raised an eyebrow. But seeing how her cheeks were flushed all red, a little grin curled his face. "I didn't know you'd get so excited to see me, human. I mean, I can't blame ya for being flustered at my sight, but what's all the blushing for?"
"I-I'm not flustered..." she stammered, trying to calm down.
"Come on, you can be honest", Mammon continued to tease, his ego-boosting mode fully activated. "I look damn nice in those clothes after all."
Clover shot him a glance, mustering how his vest fit him perfectly, how his shirt was slightly unbuttoned, and that he looked prrretty dang fine in shoes with heels.
"You do" she agreed.
Now Mammon was the one to flinch.
"F-for real?!" he blushed, then cleared his throat immediately. "I-I mean, thanks, I guess."
Mammon went silent for a moment, trying to calm his heart rate over the unexpected compliment.
"Want me to pose for ya?", he seemed to joke.
Clover looked at him... and sensed her chance.
"Yes please, great Mammon!" she exclaimed.
His tanned skin flushed an even darker colour, but, being the model he was, he actually did some poses for her. Now Clover didn't complain at that -- Mammon WAS a snack after all.
But after a while, she prompted him to give her a proper view of his back as well.
He seemed confused, even more so as she told him to stand still, but in the end did not seem to have noticed how Clover quickly poked his bunny tail. And while he was busy bragging about something modelling-related, Clover also turned to do the same with Belphie's tail as he was still asleep next to her.
"Thanks, Mammon!" she cheered afterwards, having scored not one, but three points at once.
With a little hop, she tackled Mammon into a quick hug before running off in a giggle.
Clover nearly bumped into Solomon while running away.
"Oh, hello... Why in such a hurry?" The sorcerer dodged her perfectly, his eyes sparkling in amusement as he mustered the clumsy girl.
"Huh? Oh, Solomon, sorry. Didn't see you there."
He laughed. "Well, I did guess that, seeing as you were focused on Mammon so intensely. The only question is... What did you do to leave him as such a blushing mess?"
"... I hugged him" Clover said, shrugging.
But seeing Solomon's expression, she felt somewhat off. Was he waiting for a different answer...?
"Well then, time to get back to work" Solomon changed the topic. "We don't want to waste time, do we? The bar opens soon."
He turned, but had yet to get moving. Instead, Solomon was taking a look around, completely exposing his bunny tail to Clover.
Which was worth three points, after all...
And it seemed like just the perfect opportunity...
"Yep, see you", Clover replied, turning around herself, leaving.
As much as she liked Solomon, this man was emitting such shady vibes that there was no getting her to touch this particular bunny tailâŚ
--------------
Clover had bragged to her friend about her point advantage soon after (and spoke of her concerns regarding Mr. Shady MCShady),
Which she'd later realise had been a pretty bad idea.
Maybe fueled by rivalry, maybe just because Violet had some weird kink for pompom-like things, she upped her game SO much after that. (A/N: Ok it's not a kink, I was prompted to make sure everyone knows that... (But also it's a kink believe me hehehe))
Within the next hour, Violet scored another four points.
"Asmo, Mammon, and Beel again?!" Clover cried out in disbelief when the girls found each other in the kitchen. "What's wrong with you?!"
"Hehe~" Violet laughed. "I just had some good opportunities."
Clover rolled her eyes as she was cleaning some dishes. "Yeah, great, and I've been running around with top tier difficulty peeps like Papa Luci or Solomon. Talk about unfair..."
"I meeaan... You COULD squish them..."
"Yeah, sure, and risk dying? No thanks."
"Solomon wouldn't kill you... probably."
"... I´m telling you something´s UP with that guy today, I wouldn´t be so sure of thatâŚ" Clover joked, although having shivers go down her spine.
Before they could continue this, the kitchen door flew open.
Levi was dragging a trolley full of dirty glasses along with him.
He seemed awfully pissed.
"Levi?" Violet called out. "Are you okay...?"
He threw her a glance.
"Do I think I'm okay? In a place with so many Normies?" He gave a sigh, then seemed to have remembered something. "Ah, Violet, Lucifer said he needed you in the dancing hall."
The girl gave a nod, quickly wanting to make a leave since only fools would let a person like Lucifer wait. She shot Clover a glance before leaving, gesturing her to go for Levi's tail while they were alone.
Clover instantly felt that awkward pressure back on her, but now that she got called out she had to do it.
As the demon began placing the dishes in the dishwasher, Clover slowly approached him.
"Can I help you?" she asked.
"If you've got nothing better to do..." he mumbled, not looking up from his work. "Although, you'd probably do better to go out and have fun with the oth- AAAGH WHY ARE YOU SO CLOSE?!"
Clover gave an almost equal squeal as she backed away in an instant.
"I WanTeD To HeLp" she screamed.
"BUT WHY ARE SO CLOSE?!"
"DON'T SHOUT AT ME, I'M AWKWARD."
"I'M EVEN MORE AWKWARD THAN YOU ARE, IDIOT."
They stared at each other with red faces until Clover crouched down to sit on the floor, recovering from this incident.
"Wh-what are you doing there?" Levi asked.
"Sit. I like floors. It's where I belong."
The demon gave her a weird look before averted his gaze in a troubled expression.
After a little silence, he would speak up again.
"... You belong outside, not here on this stinky kitchen floor."
"Huh?"
He bit his lip sheepishly. "Serving the guests, or at the bar... Where everyone can see you."
"... Huh?" Clover seriously didn't understand what he was blushing about.
He was staring at her, searching for words, but then decided to simply poke her bunny ears.
"... Bunny maids are a clear 10/10, everyone knows that..." he mumbled.
The girl blinked, now realising he was trying to compliment her.
"Bunny butlers, too, though" she replied. "You look really good", she laughed, grabbing one flap of his jacket to play with it.
"Adasdhegagf...!!"
Yes, that is a thing Levi can say, while flushing red and bashfully covering his face.
Not able to take this compliment, he ended up on the floor as well.
"You can't just land a critical hit without a warning... I thought we were confidants...!"
"Rank six confidants", Clover nodded. "But that's only more the reason to tell you what a snack you are right now-"
"AAAAAHHH DON'T!!" he screeched, turning away from her to hide his embarrassment. "I can't deal with so much kindness..."
Clover blinked at the bunny tail right in front of her.
Target locked.
She gave it a careful squish, then snickered a little before standing up.
"But you deserve it. That's why... I'm calling a confident rank up!"
He turned his head. "R-really?! Rank seven already?!"
"Yup."
"Woah... to think I'd be such good friends with somebody one day... Thank you, Clover-chan...!"
"No, no... I have to thank you, Levia-tan."
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"You want me to select songs for the people to dance to...?"
Violet looked at the three monitors behind the DJ's table in the dancing hall.
Lucifer gave a nod. "We already added songs from Devildom artists, but we could use a little of a cultural mix" he said.
Satan walked up to Violet and Lucifer, now looking at the list of songs all together.
"We also need to add more to make the playlist last until the local closes" Lucifer continued. "I doubt that anyone will leave sober enough to remember such details, but Lord Diavolo ordered no repetitions in the playlist, so please, just help us out..."
Violet gave it some thought, not really knowing much about typical party songs. âI highly doubt my taste in hard rock will be a good representation of humanities taste in music, but... Well, that´s all I can serve with, soâŚâ She came up with some nice picks from her own likings.
While Violet was eventually coming up with some nice tracks, in the meantime, Satan activated his pissing-off-Lucifer mode.
"Lucifer, you talk as if you'd know what a real party looks like", he mocked, referring to Lucifer's comment from before. "Have you even been to a club before?"
The oldest brother gave a huff.
"Of course I have."
"Oh? I meant on occasions other that picking up a drunk Asmo from IN FRONT OF the club."
"The answer is still a yes, thank you for clarifying."
Satan raised an eyebrow.
"Interesting", he hummed. "I can't really imagine you at a club, though... Dancing in the crowd... downing shots... or being cool in general..."
The avatar of Pride gave an annoyed sigh.
"You don't seem like a party animal either, Satan" he countered.
"Well I choose to avoid crowded places for most of the time. However, I still think I'd do better at settling in a club's atmosphere than you could."
Violet could almost feel how Lucifer's frustration piled up, even though he tried staying calm.
"Do you, huh...?" Lucifer leisurely responded.
And his outward calmness made Satan angry as well.
"You don't believe me?" the blond huffed. âDo you really think I couldn´t beat an old man at clubbing?â
Meanwhile, being in the middle of what felt like a flippin´ dance battle about to break out any moment, Violet prayed for them to stop fighting soon.
... Which didn't happen.
They kept bickering, partly because Satan talked himself into a fury and partly because Lucifer's pride was too big to admit defeat or weakness in any way.
Just when Violet had finished the playlist, Satan threw a final tantrum, leaving them with an outraged "Whatever!!" as he stomped off into another section of the dancing hall.
Lucifer pressed out a sigh, cutting through the awkward silence that had spread amongst them.
"What a troublesome child..." he mumbled.
Violet watched Satan with a worried expression, before turning to Lucifer with the same look on her face.
"... Don't worry, that is normal behaviour between Satan and me..." the male assured her. "He will get over his anger soon enough."
"And... What about you...? I feel like you are quite tense right now, yourselfâŚ" Violet asked.
"I should go and see where my help is needed now", he claimed, dodging her question.
Lucifer was gone before Violet could respond anything coherent.
Thus, giving a sigh, she decided to at least check how Satan was doing.
The avatar of Wrath was lumbering around some speakers, seeming as if he checked if everything was working as it should (despite having no idea how they were working.)
When he noticed Violet approaching, he only shot her a quick glance.
"Satan...?" The girl softly called out. "Are you okay?"
No answer.
It almost felt as if he was going to ignore her completely.
"... I don't get itâ he then suddenly pressed out.
"What do you mean?" Violet took a careful step closer.
"I hate him" Satan growled.
The girl flinched, but decided not to say anything. She felt a certain frustration in his voice, and indeed, as he continued, his tone changed a little.
"He really pisses me off every time. I get angry, over nothing at all!" He clenched his fists. "And it makes me angry, his stupid face, his cocky attitude...!"
Then his shoulders fell. "... Why can't I just ignore him? I get angry, and then I get angry over getting angry. It's so...!"
Violet listened to him patiently.
"... It's so frustrating..." He mumbled.
"I can fathom..." Violet claimed, shooting him an encouraging smile as he slowly turned towards her. "But... Don't you think it's already a big step that you don't actually want to be angry?"
"... But what good is that when I do get angry after all?"
"You can't accomplish everything immediatelyâ her expression softened even more. âWhat's important though is that you at least try."
Satan seemed sceptical, but in the end gave a slight nod.
"I guess... I'm sorry for bothering you."
The girl shook her head in a smile. "You´re not a bother. I´m glad you felt comfortable enough to tell me."
Shyly, she spread her arms, inviting him into a hug. A little awkward himself, he gave a little laugh before stepping close to embrace her.
"Everyone needs to vent out their anger sometimes" Violet reassured.
"... Thanks", he whispered.
As they parted, Satan turned to inspect the speakers again.
"Anyway... I think we checked through everything we needed in the dance hall. I will look over this here and then head out for my break."
"Mhm..." Violet muttered. "Sounds good..."
And there, she went for it.
A little touch - she didn't dare to do more than that.
But Satan's bunny tail had been successfully poked.
He continued to speak like nothing happened, so Violet dared to wish she had went for a whole squeeze instead.
"I should be going now", the girl said.
"Alright" Satan was still focused on inspecting the equipment, so Violet made her leave.
Unconsciously, she turned her head shortly before leaving the hall.
A shiver went down her spine, leaving her paralyzed for what felt like her last moments alive.
Satan's alarmed, slightly angered glare was cutting through the air, focussing her for a hot second before he decided to turn around again.
Hurrying out of the dance hall, dodging Solomon as he had nearly run into her, Violet quickly pulled out her phone as she had withdrawn from the scene of crime:
Violet: Clover I think Satan noticed me.
Clover: As in Senpai noticed me?
Violet: ...
Clover: :D
Violet: ... No, I squeezed his tail, but later on he was staring at me. Help.
Clover: ... So he's a three-pointer now?
Violet: I don't know but I feel like I nearly died so probably.
Clover: Lolol well that's what you get from messing with Satan. But I'll be kind and give you those two points. He did not confront you about it, after all.
"Hey, Violet!"
Violet flinched so heavily she nearly let go of her phone. Her first instinct had feared it was Satan calling her, but actually, she turned to look at somebody else.
"Lord Diavolo", she said. "Can I help you with anything?"
"I want to place the free snacks on the dining tables" he smiled. "Most of them are from the human world, so I want you to help me choose the best."
He was already going ahead, leaving Violet no room to explain that she's actually SO not a snacking person and had near to no idea how to help him.
Someone gave Diavolo keys for the storage room, and as they stepped inside, he turned on the lights.
"Woah...", Violet's mouth fell open. "That's... A lot of stuff."
"Fascinating, isn't it? You humans are so creative when it comes to food!"
He led her further inside where the snacks were stored.
Even though Violet liked him a lot, it still felt weird, being alone with the Prince of the whole flippin Devildom. You wouldn't have guessed it from Diavolo's carefree aura, but Violet was fairly overwhelmed, being able to walk alongside him so casually.
She tried her best at giving some advice as they looked through the huge collection together.
"We should go with a good mix of sweet and salty snacks" she explained. "Pretzels, chips or peanuts, together with something more delicate, gummies for example."
Diavolo beamed her a smile.
"I knew I could count on you!"
And he started grabbing things off the shelves.
Violet was helping, of course, but the storeroom was also tall as frick, so for lots of bags, she had to ask Diavolo to reach for it.
And that's when it hit her.
The currently vulnerable Diavolo, reaching for a bag of extra cheesy Tortilla chips, exposing his three-point worth bunny tail, only centimetres away from Violet's reach.
She literally only had to stretch out her hand a tiny bit.
And with the waterfall of words that Diavolo was talking, he wouldn't even notice.
It would be so easy.
But she couldn't do it.
She looked around. Between all the shelves, all the packages, back to the door they came from.
They were alone. She was sure of it.
But also, Violet had never felt more watched over than in this exact moment.
There was this presence lurking in the back of her neck, threatening her the more she tried to stretch out her arm.
Waiting for her to make one false decision...
"Extra DOUBLE cheesy?!"
Diavolo turned around, holding up a bag of Doritos. "Humans are so crazy!!"
Violet blinked at him, only now noticing that her whole body had tensed up so much it almost hurt.
"Y-yeah..."
As they walked out of the storeroom, arms full with all sorts of snacks, Violet gave a sigh. She had been so close... Only a little closer, and sheâŚ
"Should I take some of those from you?"
Violet did a little jump as she heard the voice next to her ear.
Barbatos was right beside her, smiling and tilting his head a little.
"My apologies, I didn't mean to scare you."
The way he mustered her, with his bunny ears and the bow tie around his neck, he looked so cute when he gently pulled most of the bags out of Violet's grip,
But sure as hell, today the girl learned to never pull any kind of prank on the Lord of the Devildom. Ever.
---------------
Violet was trying to catch a breath so she allowed herself a quick time-out in the bathroom. When she stepped outside again, she saw Solomon waving her over.
"I heard you and Lord Diavolo brought snacks to display? Would you mind helping me bring them to the tables?"
She gave a nod as an answer.
"Great. Then, let's divide them into the bowls first, and then go around with one of the trays."
And so they did. There wasn't much happening, really. Not much chatting, but nothing strange either.
Just one thing...
A bunch of perfect occasions to squeeze Solomon's bunny tail. Like, every few moments, he was focussing on something, leaving a perfect opening...
Violet left this situation without gaining any more points.
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Super self-indulgent FAHC AU wherein for whatever reason Geoff doesnât come to Los Santos to start the FAKE AH Crew until ~later.
Meanwhile, everyone ends up in Los Santos anyway - because reasons - and have to scrape by without the support of the crew behind them?
Like, hacker/thief/??? Gavin ends up in Los Santos via a series of unfortunate events in which he is a total shit and sticks his nose where it doesnât belong?
Cue his ~fleeing to the US and meandering his way along - getting in trouble along the way, because of course he does, but also amassing a rather impressive list of contacts and such as well - to Los Santos.
Where, lol, of course he gets in over his head yet again? Young and stupid and tries to get one past the wrong guy and before he knows it heâs got himself an arrangement, right?
Work for the guy he tried to fuck over or be horrifically murderized, and oh, hey? The family and friends he left back in England? Sure would be a shame if something happened to them, you know? They seem lovely.
(Why would you just look at the pictures and videos this guy has of them doing all sorts of everyday things and accidents happen, you know. Awful, that.)
Anyway, anyway, Gavin keeps his head down and plays good little hacker/thief/???.
Gives his new boss what he asks for out of him and no more, doesnât volunteer information or skills or anything he may have himself or know someone who knows someone who might be useful.
No.
Gavin does whatâs asked of him and lets his bossâ goons and thugs push him around - little weasel, a coward and so on?
But also Gavin is making a list (or two or three) that has all kinds of interesting information to be had in them? Things his bossâ enemies or other such interested parties could use to utterly ruin the bastard.
Gavinâs got plans, you see, itâs just a matter of time and all that.
Until then heâs meek and mild and does his part whether it be hacking or off to steal some shiny little bit of interest to his boss or whatever else his boss knows heâs capable of. (Nasty stuff, when you get down to it, strange how his boss never wonders how Gavin knows how to do any of this stuff or rest easy thinking they wonât be used on him, but arrogance will do that to people, I guess?)
ANYWAY.
Things are going along...well enough when Gavinâs boss brings in a new hacker.
This kid (not really a kid, if anything a couple of years younger than Gavin at most, but he seems young) who buckles down and plays nice without the rough treatment Gavin and the handful of other hackers and âspecialistsâ like him that have been through the base where Gavin works most of the time.
Gavin would let things run their course for this âMatt Braggâ but heâs not like the others Gavinâs been forced to work with?
They were always the same kid of wrong as his boss and his bossâ favorite goons and thugs. Mean and cruel for the sake of it and didnât worry who they were hurting so long as they made a profit off it.
But Matt Bragg, okay.
Quiet kid, keeps to himself and gets this pinched look on his face when their boss decides whatever information he handed over to him was to be used in the most âefficientâ way possible.
Matt gives their boss two different routes to obtain whatever shiny heâs after, one with minimal casualties on all sides but itâll take a little longer. The other requires guards and security to be killed, but it shaves a hefty chunk of time off the entire operation, and no bet which one their boss chooses.
And, look.
The fact that Matt took the time to come up with two different approaches like that - contingency plans, yeah, sure, thatâs a given - but Matt went out of his way to devise a tactic to avoid having to kill people.
Other things like that crop up from time to time, and Matt gets into trouble for it sometimes, taking too long to get the boss the information he wants because heâs concerned about having to kill some hired guns in a batch of mercs or rent a cops or whatever.
But he keeps on looking for those alternatives, and Gavin takes an interest.
Realizes Mattâs in the same boat as him with regards to working for their boss. Details might not be exactly the same, but whatever they are he ended up here same as Gavin, and thatâs.
Interesting?
interesting.
Enough for Gavin to take that interest in Matt, sabotage him here and there so the boss gets pissed, yeah, punishes Matt by restricting his âprivilegesâ and so on?
But thereâs a good reason for that.
Because Mattâs good at what he does, too good, and there have been others like him through here before.
Got chewed up and spat out and left to fend for themselves when the cops (or worse) came looking.
Got set up, put on a job and left high and dry in the middle of it while the boss and his flunkies got away with the shiny they were after and a pretty little scapegoat/sacrifice left behind.
Itâs where Mattâs headed if heâs not careful, and he isnât.
Careful, that is.
Goes along with what the boss wants, but heâs the stubborn kind of idiot, you know?
Mouths off when he shouldnât, and it gets him knocked around a bit. Gets him noticed by their bossâ goons and thugs when itâs the last thing people like them need or want.
Mattâs not stupid, realizes whatâs going on and goes to confront Gavin about it, grabs his arm and freezes when Gavin lets out this little hiss f pain, pulls his arm back when Mattâs left staring at him.
Because in all the commotion Gavinâs sleeve got pulled up and there are these marks, bruises and worse and faded scars and -
âWhat - â
Gavin scowls at Matt, because rude, and also, idiot.
âLeave it alone, Matt Bragg,â he says, meaning Gavin deliberately fucking Matt over and everything else, because you know, because.
Those jobs and tasks and whatnot of Mattâs that Gavin sabotages him on?
Have to get done by someone, and Gavinâs reliable about things like that, isnât he. (Has to be with everything heâs got on the line and all.)
So Gavin does the jobs/whatever Matt was supposed to and since Gavin has certain skills and the whatnot Matt doesnât he ends up in the field when Matt would have remained at the base.
Gets hands on experience with whatever conundrum was posed to Matt, and sometimes that means he gets hurt because like hell will his boss offer him helpful support and such, you know?
Itâs Gavin thieving about in hostile territory and with the odds stacked against him and shit always goes wrong.
And if itâs not the job/whatever where Gavin gets hurt you can bet their bossâ goons and thugs have something to say about things. (Gavinâs got a mouth on him even now, and makes enemies like you wouldnât believe without trying.)
So anyway, anyway, Matt is like !!! and oh, you fucking moron, and drags Gavin off to get propery patched up.
Cue Friendship montage in which they realize theyâre more or less working towards the same goals - Gavin wants the fuck out of this arrangement he was forced into and would rather do that than burn things to the ground while heâs still inside.
But Matt?
Lol, fucker would cheerfully burn the place down around him and figure his way out from there.
So.
Montage sequence in which they team up and utterly wreck their boss and his operation.
And, you know, because hackers end up filthy rich afterwards.
Fuck around for a while because Freedom and Choice and :DDDDDDDDDDDDDD but then they get word their boss had enemies who are looking to take over his territory and such and Gavin and Matt are like â...wait.â
Between them they have the resources and connections to set themselves for life in Los Santos, so they do?
Start setting up their own little criminal empires in the remains of their former bossâ, and they start by bringing in assholes like this Rimmy Tim guy Matt met out at a bar one night?
Recently liberated from their boss and getting a drink to celebrate while Gavin was making sure things were good back in England and his bossâ allies/whoever couldnât touch them and Mattâs more than a little tipsy, you know?
Mouths off to the wrong guy and almost gets the shit beat out of him but this weirdo in purple and orange (âI remember yellow, too?â) comes along and plays white knight for Matt.
At which point Matt has to buy him a drink as a thank you and the two of then end up getting shit-faced drunk.
Also you know.
Smooches are exchanged because oh, hey, heâs cute/hot/I like his face a lot before the alcohol kicks in and they end up snuggled together on a bed and passing the fuck out.
Not important whose bed, so much as the !!! the morning afterward realizing they went home with some weirdo and...smooched? Before snuggling and passing out???
And then awkward dating, because of course, and hey, since weâre building a criminal empire I totally know a guy, Matt says to Gavin, and then has to add, âItâs uh. Weâre dating? But heâs exactly what weâre looking for for the whole...criminal empire thing???â
Gavin would be highly critical of Matt and his everything if it werenât for the fact a bounty hunter he tangled with a ways back finally tracked him down?
Michael is super not thrilled with him, because of course?
This whole Thing where Michael got sent after this asshole hacker/thief/whatever in Gavin and they ended up being all 80s movies romcom/action flick flirting while avoiding the legit hitmen sent after Gavin?
Saving one anotherâs lives - at one point administering mouth-to-mouth - and getting matching flesh wounds in a shootout followed by a teensy amount of torture by some baddie?
And then!
Michael rethinking turning Gavin in only for Gavin to make that decision moot when Gavin knocked him out and chained him to a motel radiator before fleeing to parts unknown?
Only not so unknown as Michael finally found him.
Thereâs a cat and mouse game that ends up with both of then soaking wet - caught out in a rainstorm/went for a swim in a river/body of water - and Michael scowling at Gavin like heâs about to beat the shit out of him?
Only he kind of does...not that, what with the Angry Kissing thatâs happening and Gavinâs !!! that turns to :DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD and Michaelâs >:((((((((((((((((((((((((((( that turns to >:((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((( becuase Gavin is a piece of shit and Michael hates him so fucking much, stop laughing you little shit!!1! >:(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((
Anyway.
Gavin and Matt have Jeremy and Michael, and then the rest trickle in?
Like.
Gavin worked with a gang a while back that hired this sniper - odd sort, but damn good with a sniper rifle and the kind you can trust to keep their mouth shut.
Rayâs not in it for the long-haul, not looking for a crew, but heâs always up to do a favor for friends and such.
And then Michael meets Lindsay through -
âDonât fucking ask, seriously.â
And then!
Some friend of Jeremyâs in Trevor - this !!! You!!1! - moment between Gavin and Trevor because Thieves!!1! who may or may not have run into one another in the field and ensuing shenanigans as they were after the same shiny and oh, what a fun night that was, eh?
Alfredo just.
Suddenly fucking there???
Seems to know Michael who is like, âOh, this fucker,â and no one can tell if he likes Alfredo at first? But then it comes out Alfredo used to be a bounty hunter too before he decided it was more fun being a âbad guyâ
(Extenuating circumstances in which he was hired by some people to bring in some poor bastard who was innocent of whatever crime they said he committed because reasons? Alfredo finding out and then shenanigans in which he saved the poor guyâs life and set them up with a new life somewhere and ended up being framed for crimes he didnât commit and all that. And since he was being framed for crimes he didnât commit, why the hell not go out and commit actual crimes?
But.
Like.
Fun crimes.)
And then!!1!
Just as things are going smoothly, Gavin and Mattâs old boss manages to hire some assholes to kill Gavin? Matt would be great, sure, but the focus is on making Gavin super fucking dead, and everyone is freaking out, right, because for whatever reason they all like the little shit?
General sort of panic/mayhem until one of the assholes hired to kill Gavin actually gets their hands on him?
Catches him alone somewhere and while everyone is panicking trying to find Gavin, Gavin himself is :DDDDDDDDDDDD because the asshole who caught him is the fucking Vagabond.
When everyone gets to where they are Gavinâs like ??? at all the fear/panic heâs seeing and is like. âGuys, itâs my ex!â
Because this whole thing way, way before Michael and such where Gavin met Ryan and somehow wasnât murdered?
Managed to make friends with the bastard that turned into something more and it was good, really, really good, until it wasnât.
Someone from Ryanâs past gunning for him and Ryan ran Gavin off - âBastard shot me!â but Gavinâs not mad, not anymore.
And it wasnât like Ryan ran him off so much as dumped him at the ER and left Gavin to deal with the gunshot wound and explaining how he came by it to the authorities and then trying to find the bastard again afterward.
Which...he didnât, but after months looking for him his contacts told him the Vagabond had set up shop in a city somewhere and seemed to be doing well for himself?
And Gavin was like :(((((((((((( because oh, well then, thinking maybe Ryan was better off without him weighing him down and such?
(Because hey, Vagabond and some hacker/thief/whatver in Gavin and honestly, no doubt who the more capable/dangerous one of them was.)
Thinking if Ryan wanted to, he could have come back for Gavin, or at least looked for him, but he hadnât,so.
Gavin left him to it, kept on his way towards eventually arriving in Los Santos and everything that happened since - including Michael, oh shit - and then, uh.
Super awkward inching towards Mavinwood with Gavin and his feelings for Michael and Ryan and Michael and Ryan with their feelings for Gavin? But also bonding over the fact they have feelings for Gavin, because the guyâs a little shit, you know?
Complete asshole, and oh my God, do you want to hear about this one thing he did once?â
And so on, and also other reasons such as oh no, heâs hot and oh no, heâs an unbearable dumbass, why do I always fall for them?
Fiona comes along because Gavinâs old friends in England get curious about whatâs going on with him and thereâs a misunderstanding and she kid of, sort of, tries to kill him?
Like.
A lot.
Worse than that time every asshole in the city (and beyond) were after the price on Gavinâs head and persistent as hell and âWait, Dan told you to what?â
And Fionaâs like âHe said, and aI quote, âTake care of the wanker, for me, would you, Fiona? Iâll owe you,â and other such things and Gavin almost dies from laughing so hard while Fionaâs like âWhat? What are you laughing at, you asshole?â
More shenanigans and such and by the time Geoff and Jack do get to Los Santos theyâve heard about this weird as fuck crew - dangerous, rumors say they took out the biggest name in Los Santosâ history to get where they are - and are greeted with Gavin and Matt and all the other assholes, what even??
#ragehappy#mavin#mavinwood#jerematt#possible alfreyco because of course there is#and other fun things#ÂŻ\_(ă)_/ÂŻ#late night thoughts???#technically not a fic#vagrant fic#long post
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I just saw Felix, I am enraged beyond belief, and right now, I want someone to tear this episode and Astruc a new one. And who better than the Salt Fairy?
s-sALT FAIRY?? JDNGKFDG
WELL, WHO AM I TO DENY SUCH A REQUEST?
[Vanilla Graham Crackers]
So, I totally understand the idea that making new models is hard and itâs best to cut corners where one can, but that should only be done if it can be used in a way that doesnât - you know - reuse two important character models and add almost nothing new to them.
To start off, you have Amelie, Emilieâs twin sister who they obviously reused Emilieâs model for.
Then you have Felix, whose motherâs genes mustâve kicked the tar out of his fatherâs genes (and the same mustâve happened to Adrien unless Gabrielâs model is reused for Felixâs fatherâs too if we ever get a flashback/picture but weâre not getting into that) considering that Felix looks like Adrienâs twin rather than Adrienâs cousin (if they pull some sort of thing about Felix actually being Adrienâs twin just as some sort of cheap âgotcha,â I swearâthough I doubt it because Amelie has a line about them looking âjust like twinsâ which would be strange for someone who wouldâve already known they were twins unless she doesnât know that theyâre twins either because some weird things happened andâIâm getting off-topicâŚ).
Already, these are both new characters who are being introduced in this episode that are edited versions of previous models weâve seen on the show.
The thing is that I donât care much if the models are reused, but they should at least have facial structures that look different enough to make them their own characters. At least reverse Amelieâs hair, gosh darn it.
Even Felix, likeâI donât even think any of the characters would find it odd if the âAdrienâ in the video had different cheekbones or a different jawline. Felix could even have blue eyes but edit the video to make his eyes green (and then make an excuse as to why his eyes are blue when the villains show up). The Adrien model could be reused but still adjusted so he at least has a different freaking eye style, since those are usually the big thing that gives away the feeling of, âoh, the model is just reused.â
I mean, it makes sense for Felixâs name to be in the title of the episode, but thatâs only because he actually got different hair and a different outfit, since even the people who get akumatized in this episode are reused.
Lady Wifi, whoâs been seen multiple times in Season 1 and 3 now.
Princess Fragrance, whoâs been used the least out of everyone else but has still been seen multiple times (counting scarlet edition Princess Fragrance).
And Reflekta, whoâs been used multiple times even if youâre only counting Season 3. Reflekta even makes the least sense out of all the characters since sheâs a bad combination with the others. Dark Cupid wouldâve even been a better pick since Lady Wifi could freeze someone and then either Dark Cupid could get a clear shot or Princess Fragrance could force them to inhale her perfume.
They donât even have a proper unique theme to them, like a design that they all share to show that theyâre a team. Itâs just a repeat of their past akuma forms except Lady Wifi doesnât have to worry about being defeated in the same way as before I guess (not that they try it anyway)? I donât question Alya being the only one to get an upgrade because the tablet is hers, but when weâve already had an episode where a tablet was used as a âhey akuma, aim hereâ object, and the people who held it combined in that one because they had a shared goal, only to have this one be different and just turn them into separate forms?
Yeaaaah, no, thatâs weird. Thatâs just weird. Itâd be one thing if they were sure that there were two Adrien around and they needed to be separated so they could cover multiple people, but theyâre not aware that Felix is around nor that he disguised himself as Adrien, requiring them to cover multiple grounds (and even then, that doesnât need three of them).
Iâll say again that I donât mind repeat akuma, but it has to make sense. Stormy Weather 2 and Gamer 2.0 made sense to come back even though I didnât like their episodes or the messages behind them, but Reflektdoll and the Trio of Punishers here?
No, justâno.
(this is also once again keeping the âgirl squadâ quota in place which everyone knows I dislike; I just want the boys to be more involved sometimes and not have anyoneâs involvement be based on what gender they are)
(also also, Ladybug defeating all of them in a few seconds demonstrates how incompetent they are as a team; defeating Nathalie is not a high bar for efficient villainry)
So, already with that, the episode is bland and doesnât provide anything interesting; even Felix disguises himself as Adrien perfectly later on, so the model that was edited in any sort of significant way changes back to its oRinGaL fOrM partway through the episode just for the like, two viewers who couldnât tell that heâs a duplicate of Adrien structurally.
Heck, and even once Felix does disguise himself as Adrien, heâs still making very âAdrienâ faces. The camera switching from Adrien to Felix (disguised as Adrien) when the villains show up is a perfect example.
Same face, same pose. Itâs like theyâre the same person at times (and no, I donât believe that Felix is that good of an actor when he just got jumped by three teenage girls in outlandish clothing who came out of the phone in his hands).
Thereâs also the plot with Gabriel and the twin rings. Firstly, the opening is basically the one from âChat Blancâ with the ring detail added. I remember seeing âChat Blancâ and then being weirded out when âFelixâ hit like, âWait, is thisâ?â
Even disregarding that, thereâs a certain awkwardness to Gabrielâs behavior. Of course, we all know that Emilie is actually alive and (un)well, so Gabriel being upset with Adrien isnât entirely wrong (since, to Gabriel, it sounds like his son is supporting him having an affair), but for Gabriel to lash out in an almost childish manner when weâve seen Gabriel hold Nathalie/Mayura tenderly and we can see that they have something going on, it seems extremely unprompted and just an excuse for Gabriel to not have to tell Adrien that heâs Hawk Moth.
It also brings up the question as to what changed between Gabriel saying that he already wished that he could tell Adrien what he was doing since Adrien would understand, compared to now where Gabriel is completely okay with telling Adrien.
Everythingâs too up in the air, too vague, and nothing hits like it should. The episode throws five shots at its viewers at once (âAmelie and Felix,â âThe Twin Rings,â âGabriel Almost Telling Adrien That Heâs Hawk Moth,â âThree People Getting Akumatized at Once,â and âMarinette Successfully Sending a Confession to Adrienâ) but none of them strike properly. Theyâre all fighting for screentime to the point where we donât even see Alyaâs more detailed reaction to âAdrienâ rejecting Marinetteâs confession (she looks slightly more annoyed than everyone else, I guess) when Alya had made such a big deal about Marinette confessing beforehand (Iâll forgive her just this once for flashing her tablet, unprompted, in Marinetteâs anxious face since Alya largely does nothing bad outside of that). The episode tries too hard to be big and impactful but misses the mark because none of the things itâs trying to do can play out in a way that makes it feel like theyâre important.
Amelie and Felix donât have original models.
The twin rings havenât been brought up in any significant way before.
Gabriel and Nathalie talk about Adrien knowing about the Hawk Moth thing once and then presumably give up with no explanation as to why Gabriel isnât going to try again since Adrien clearly just misunderstood him.
The three people getting akumatized end up turning into forms weâve seen before, all of which have been in this season, even if it was sparingly.
Marinetteâs confession doesnât even get misinterpreted by Adrien; itâs viewed by Felix and promptly deleted.
Oh yeah, and then thereâs THAT sceneâŚ
[Consententious]
Alright, so I canât really talk about this scene without talking about the supposed reason for why this episode exists.
For the 0.01% of people who arenât aware, Felix is the original Adrien from the Miraculous PV, which is what Miraculous Ladybug used to be before it became the show it is now. Astruc has said, time and time again, that he did not like this character and that was why Adrien had replaced him.
The fandom clung to Felix, however. People were still interested in the âwhat-ifsâ and âwhat couldâve beenâs, especially as situations rose in-show where people felt like Felix wouldâve reacted in a way that was different/better than how Adrien would have reacted.
Astruc was the one most known for disliking Felix, but another thing he was known for was lying to people in order to keep future things in the show a secret.
You know that scene in âKwamibuster,â where Tikki keeps something from Marinette, and when she then tries to explain something else to Marinette, Marinette points out, âYou see, the problem now is that Iâm always going to wonder if youâre lying or notâ?
Yeah, thatâs basically the fandom with Astruc. Whether Astrucâs behavior was justified or not, itâs harder to believe what he says when he openly admitted to lying to everyone.
This brings us back to Felix. In terms of what Astruc has told us on him, itâs been inconsistent, to say the least.
He claimed that Adrien was created because Felix wasnât an interesting character, then said that Felix was interesting even though he wasnât fit to be a hero despite later claims of Felix being a weak character who was more of an anime cliche, which was then further uprooted by outright stating that Felix was bad/evil.
Essentially, regardless of what has been said about this episodeâs existence, this entire episode feels like a response to the side of the fandom that firmly believes that Felix would have been better than Adrien, and that looks bad because such episodes tend to never go over well with the fandom.
- Felix is shown as cold and unfeeling whereas Adrien is understanding if a bit solemn.
- Felix and Adrien are compared directly by both having a dead parent who died recently.
- Felix reacts negatively to Adrienâs behavior whereas Adrien tries to excuse Felixâs actions and be a good person.
- Plagg (who Felix wouldâve had in the PV) is given a MUCH bigger input on things than he usually is, even to the point of comparing Felix and Adrien directly. The episode also has Felix ruining a piece of cheese in Plaggâs stash, whereas Plagg is typically not directly affected by the actions of other characters.
- Felixâs actions of rooting through Adrienâs things may or may not be a comparison to Lila (another character that Astruc doesnât like) from âOni-chan,â who riffled through Adrienâs things while Adrien was distracted. This is further supported by Plagg calling out both of these to Adrien and Adrien excusing both of them.
- Felix literally disguising himself as Adrien and Marinette not only noticing the facade straight away, but proclaiming angrily that Felix!Adrien is ânot Adrien.â
- Felix implied to even be emotionally weaker than Adrien by his face at Chatâs comment about him not having many friends, his face in response to Marinetteâs confession, and Adrien asking him to call if he needs support.
And then, we have the big scene where Felix (disguised as Adrien) tries to force a kiss on Ladybug, in which thereâs a clear âno means noâ message followed by a punch to Felixâs face.
Now⌠first off, yes, this is obviously yet another jab at the comparison between Felix and Chat. Felix tried to force a kiss on Ladybug whereas Chat hasâ
âŚwell, heâs never gotten one off, at least, and stops when something happens (either Ladybug gets pulled back into the fight or she stops him with a hand/her words).
This is also shown by how Ladybug states post-punch that âAdrien would never be so pushy,â immediately followed by Chat Noir showing up and insulting Felix.
âŚYeah, Iâll tackle the message first.
While this idea of âno means noâ is nice and all, it ignores the nuance of what actually means âyes.â The forced kiss still would have been wrong if itâd been towards someone like Juleka, who wouldâve locked up at the sight of someone trying to force themself on her, or someone like Rose, who mayâve been completely oblivious as to what the forcer wouldâve been doing until it was too late. It might seem like a small thing, but just saying âwhat part of ânoâ did you not understand?â leaves the obvious loophole of âWELL, if they DONâT say ânoâ then that makes it okay.â
As for Chat, well⌠the setup not only didnât make sense as a comparison to him, but it doesnât function as a comparison in the episode itself.
See, the setup is wrong because Felix is not doing this because heâs a creep. Heâs not someone whoâs crushing on Ladybug and disguised himself as Adrien in hopes that she would favor him and let him kiss her.
In fact, Felix is fully aware that kissing someone without their consent is wrong; the reason heâs doing it is to ruin Adrienâs reputation.
Would Felix actually do that if he were lusting over Ladybug or crushing on a girl legitimately? We donât know, and thatâs exactly why Felix and Chatâs actions are not comparable.
This isnât a case of, âCharacter B and C are attracted to Character A. Character C stops when told/prompted to stop whereas Character B continues despite those things.â Chat and Felix have entirely different motives when trying to kiss Ladybug.
Chat leans in for a kiss multiple times and is stopped by either Ladybug or whateverâs happening around them. Even if he stops when told/prompted to, he starts back up, whether itâs later in the episode or in a later episode beyond it.
Felixâs actions are wrong and I will not deny that, nor will I compare him directly to Chat and say that one is worse than the other.
I will just say: Felix is aware that heâs doing something scummy and is doing so to make someone he dislikes look bad. Chat may be aware that he canât proceed with a kiss if Ladybug denies it or prompts him to back off, but he still tries over and over to flirt and/or lean in for a kiss in hopes that sheâll return it eventually. Whatever form of ânoâ Ladybug gives him (as it can come in many forms), Chat still believes that trying again later is perfectly fine and that asking is not necessary no matter how many times sheâs denied him or rejected his feelings.
As for why the setup doesnât function, itâs because we, in this episode, do not have a direct comparison between Felixâs advances and Chatâs. Chat isnât given the screentime to properly flirt with Ladybug or try to make any sort of advance on her, so thereâs no âthat was Felix, this is Chat,â moment.
Is that because the writers were aware that Chatâs behavior is still not up to speed with how people should act in reality? Maybe, maybe not, but the point is that they didnât have it.
Now, that said, there indeed was a character in the episode who made it very clear (both through his body language and through his words) that he respected the actions, space, and choices of the one he was in love with.
But, who was that again�
O O P S
Like, look, Iâm not getting into Lukaâs role in the episode (though Iâll just say that, while I adore the boy, this wasnât the episode for him and - had I not needed to go into other subjects - I definitely would be rambling about the disservice both he and Marinette get in general), but Iâm just pointing out the very obvious misstep taken. If this episode was a response to the fandom, I guess one could argue that this is knocking any idea of Felix being Marinetteâs other love interest instead of Luka, but when people think of âsomeone trying to kiss Marinette/Ladybug,â Luka is not going to be the first one who comes to mind; thatâs gonna be Chat and the writing dropped the ball entirely because it couldnât pull it off without having to address his behavior or risk sending an, âonly no means no,â message.
Oh, and speaking of dropping the ball, even Felix doesnât get dropped entirely, because the writing didnât even do Felix dirty CORRECTLY.
[Failing Felix]
Just for a moment, letâs roll (completely roll, this time) with the idea that this entire episode is a response to the side of the fandom who really liked Felix and preferred him over Adrien.
By that logic, the standard thing to do would be to make Felix as evil and possible and make everyone hate him, yes?
However, that âstandard thingâ is completely missing from this plot.
Felix, by the end of the episode, already has two motives.
The first is stated outright by the end, though could also be inferred early on as well: Felix wanted to get the twin rings back for his mother. In addition, it is not for his own selfish gain, as he isnât even aware that his mother wanted to get the rings back so she could give them to him.
Felix wanted to get the twin rings back because his mother had told him that they were part of their family, not Gabrielâs, and Felix sought to retrieve them himself.
The second motive is for his actions outside of Gabriel, which is him judging Adrien and trying to ruin Adrienâs reputation.
Even Felixâs bitterness towards Adrien is showcased, though in small doses.
When Adrien apologizes to Felix for not going to his fatherâs funeral, Felix retorts with,
âYou always do everything your father tells you to do?â
Right there is Felixâs problem with Adrien: he views Adrien as a doormat (a common fan complaint anyway tbh). This is not helped when Adrien excuses his fatherâs actions with a smile (which may come off as insensitive; Adrien, be UPSET by your father, not sheepishly smiling about what he did) by saying that his father is âvery protective.â
Felix only initiates his stealing of Adrienâs things after this scene takes place; immediately after this takes place, as a matter of fact.
The other key interaction that takes place is when Felix enters the mansion. He reaches out for a handshake, but Adrien goes in for a hug.
Adrien doesnât know that a hand reaching out in a handshake gesture isnât consent.
Already, Adrien has come off as touchy, unable to read Felixâs gestures, and possibly insensitive.
Further on are Felixâs comments on the things he finds in Adrienâs phone:
Adrienâs obvious crush on Ladybug - Felix sees it as idiotic which⌠yeah, it would look like a childish celebrity crush without context
Ninoâs video - 90% sure the reaction there was the âteenageâ version of how Gabriel judged Nino in âBubbler;â pretty standard rich boy judgment
Roseâs video - âŚIâm sorry, I canât blame Felix for that one; that was so overly gushy and cheerful that I winced
Maxâs video - Felix doesnât seem like the type to like jokes and he also thinks that whole thing is weird (also not knowing that Markov is ârealâ); could go either or on how out-of-place his comment was.
Chloeâs video - Felix doesnât like Chloe and I canât blame him for that one either.
Marinetteâs video - Felix has a different reaction to this one and I imagine he either thinks that Adrien is dating Marinette (and could think itâs pathetic for a variety of reasons from âAdrien is already crushing on Ladybugâ or âthe doormat boy has a girlfriendâ) or thinks that Marinette confessing over video is pathetic
Even when Felix goes against Ladybug and Chat, heâs probably realized at that point that impulsively impersonating Adrien wonât get him anywhere close to sleight-of-handing Gabrielâs ring away. Also, Ladybug punched him (regardless of her reason why) and Chat insulted him despite only knowing things about him from what he heard from someone else.
None of this excuses any of Felixâs actions, but it is a reason that is introduced within the episode where said actions take place.
Unlike, say, Chloe, whose mother was shown off in the season after Chloe herself first appeared, giving us no context, reason, or motive for her behavior outside of âsheâs a spoiled brat.â
Felix also did manage to come up with a convincing enough apology to get Gabriel to shake his hand, allowing Felix to safely snatch one of the twin rings away to return to his mother.
I donât think anyone is complaining about Gabriel getting screwed over after âChat Blanc,â just saying.
Even athletically, Felix scores a one-handed point in basketball with his back turned to the hoop, and he can go toe-to-toe with three akuma at once.
He even has a hobby in doing magic tricks, said hobby allowing him to steal Gabrielâs twin ring. Characters having hobbies is an important thing for fleshing them out, and Felix weirdly just⌠has one, and one that benefits him.
So, is Felixâs presence in the show an insult due to having a repeated character model and being used as a forced comparison to Adrien? Yes.
Does that mean heâs not workable in any form and canât be used for the fandomâs desires?
Not really, no. At least, IÂ certainly donât think so.
The reality is that Felix was never a warm person, PV or otherwise, and his initial reaction to Adrien (âI donât like you. You hugged me without my asking you and you let your father walk all over you.â) is honestly something Iâd expect of him.
Itâs when combined with the already terrible ideas of the episode and the convoluted nature of things that everything (including him) turns into a problem.
#category: salt#category: crtique#episode: Felix#category: long post#word count: over 3000#other: ask and answer#((I'm with Punch on this one.))#((The episode itself is bad but Felix isn't as bad as he could've been.))
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Freefall (Gavin x MC)
Freefall (Gavin x MC)
MLQC
Warnings: Hurt/comfort, brief mention of blood.Â
Fluff inspired by âFree fall (ft. RUNN)- Ilenium and Gavinâs âYour Voiceâ call.Â
It was late, and getting later. There was still no sign of Gavin. She bounced on the balls of her feet outside his apartment door, listening to the city clock chime midnight; the witching hour. Yet the only one who seemed to bear witness to its dark enchantment was her. Everything in the city seemed to be blanketing in stillness, and quiet. Normally, she would enjoy it, but not tonight. Tonight it just fed into her swirling thoughts and scattered pulse. Where was he?! She sat down in front of his door, the cold tile seeping through the thin summer dress she wore. She shivered slightly, and rubbed her arms to try and warm herself. She knew it was in vain; the coldness came from within her. She took a deep breath in, and exhaled slowly in an effort to calm herself. Taking out her phone again, she stared at his number debating on ringing it again. She knew he wouldnât answer, that only his voicemail with its short, terse âThis number is unavailableâ would hear the frantic notes in her voice. And no matter how she ranted and raved at the cool unattached voice at the other end, Gavin would not magically appear and reassure her. After looking at his last text, (a short message telling her he was due back tonight) she closed it, the locking noise echoing through the empty hallway. It had only been hours since his call, but it felt like years. She always worried about Gavin when he went on missions, that was nothing new. But he had never called her when he was injured. She blamed it on his chivalrous nature. He had seemed to make it his life goal to shield her from the less than savory aspects of his job, shrugging off his scattering of new cuts and scrapes as nothing, not realizing that each time he was hurt, her heart broke a little more. Even she herself seemed to have been unaware of the extent of her worry. Gavin was a pillar of strength to her. Something to be fawned over, but never fretted about. Her closest friend, and confidant, she had seemed to take it for granted he would always come back to her. But when he called her after his brush with death, she hadnât been able to concentrate on her work. He had just sounded so tired, so worn out. She had never heard him like that before, and the worry had gnawed at her until the point that Anna herself had told her to leave for the day, her sympathetic smile grating on her already tender nerves.
âHeâs fine, you know,â she had blurted out hotly at her. Immediately she had felt her face flush in embarrassment. She hadnât meant to snap at Anna. She just couldn't stand that look. A look that all but stated he was gone. Anna had looked startled and took a step back before recovering the smile on her face.
âIâm not saying otherwise, dear. I just think maybe you should take a break. Youâve been working nonstop since heâs been on this mission. I think itâs time you faced your own feelings.â
And with a gentle pat on her arm, she had left her desk.Â
She snapped back to the current time, chewing her bottom lip. All on her walk home, she had thought about Annaâs departing words. Her own feelings? What had she meant? But even as she pretended ignorance, that voice in her heart had whispered the words she was afraid to say out loud. She liked Gavin. No, she loved Gavin. She loved him with every fiber of her soul. Being with him was like free falling into an endless abyss; petrifying, but oh so exhilarating. Every second she was with him, she felt alive. His smile, his frown, his awkward way of covering his mouth when he was nervous had painted itself on her soul until she was bathed in his colors. When she closed her eyes at night, his bright ember ones were the ones that helped her drift to sleep. When she felt insecure, his confident voice telling her she could do anything ran through her head. And whenever she felt stressed or bogged down by the day, she caught herself scrolling through photos she had captured of their outings on her phone, often laughing at Gavinâs shy aversion to smiling for her camera. He was truly the dearest part of her life. Why had it taken her so long to admit it? For that matter, when did the change creep upon her? Maybe it was after Minorâs multiple hints, or the way he emphasized her discovering the contents of the bloodstained letter from all those years ago. To this day whenever she brought it up to Gavin, he would rub the back of his neck, and tell her it didnât matter. But it did, and she often found herself fantasizing about what he could have written and if their lives would be different if she had read it. Though she knew there was no use in it, she wished that she had gotten to know Gavin back then. But there was no point in dwelling in the past. She usually was a firm believer in that idea, but as usual, Gavin managed to stir up questions in her heart she tried to ignore. Well after his call, she had decided that she would no longer ignore the tingling she felt when he gripped her hand, or the way his eyes would cause the blood to rush straight to her head when he stared at her for longer than a second. She wouldnât have called herself a coward, and she wasn't about to start now. So squaring her shoulders, she sat firmly against the back of his apartment door, vowing to stay as long as it took.Â
The ding of the elevator and the sound of two deep male voices jarred her awake. She must have fallen asleep waiting for Gavin to come home. With a quick glance at her phone, she saw that an hour and a half had past. The men were coming further down the hallway, and her heart leaped in her throat when she recognized one surly voice as Gavinâs. Hopping up, she tried in vain to smooth out all the wrinkles in her dress. Frantically, she tried to fix her hair, and fumbled with her purse, trying to strike a pose that didnât scream âOh hey, Iâve been sitting and sleeping outside your door for awhile now even though you told me not to worry.â
âEli, I told you Iâm fine. Leave me alone, for Godâs sake.â
âTsk, tsk, Gavin. Youâre in a foul mood for someone who should be thanking me for helping your sorry ass home.â
âI told you, I donât need your damn help, Eli, I could have made it on my own.â
Oh really, is that why I had to help you-â
The two had made it around the corner, and Eli stopped talking in surprise at her presence. Gavin tried to break away from Eli who had his arm wrapped around his side in order to support him. He let out a slight grunt of pain, and she stepped forward, afraid of him falling. It was when she got up close that she could see just how tired they both were. With ripped uniforms, untucked shirts lacking ties, and muddied gear, it was clear that this mission was harder than most. Even Eliâs normally well coiffed hair was sticking up in disarray. He was still in better shape than Gavin was, however. Up close, she could see the scruff that had grown on his face while he was away, and the weariness in his amber colored eyes. Gavin stared at her, disbelief mixing with disapproval.Â
âWhat are you doing here so late? Have you been out here by yourself?â
â I, I havenât been here long.â She pinched herself slightly for the lie. âAnd Iâm here because, well..â She trailed off, suddenly feeling shy. Gavin still stared at her expectantly, the frown on his face making her feel like a student in the principalâs office. Eli looked back and forth between the two of them, a look of realization dawning on his face. His face broke into a smile that he tried to hide by clearing his throat.Â
âWell, Gavin. I can see youâre in great hands, so Iâll be on my way. Take as long as you need to heal up. Iâll handle the paperwork.â He glanced at her, a mischievous light in his eyes. âTake care of my partner for me, will you.â She felt herself start to blush, and she nodded her head, rubbing her arm. He shot a wink at Gavin, before making his way back to the elevators.
She and Gavin stood there for a moment in silence, both unsure of how to break it. Finally, he sighed. âWell, you might as well come in. Itâs much too late for you to try and get back tonight.â He shuffled to his door, and she stepped aside quickly, suddenly feeling self conscious for the first time ever in his presence. He unlocked the door, kicking his shoes off barely before he made it to the entrance before switching on the kitchen light, bathing his apartment in a soft glow full of shadows. She had been to his apartment only once before, and quite briefly. Gavin kept a pristine look, clean and efficient, but it lacked comfort and style. She made a mental note to take him to pick out a few plants or pictures to help brighten up the space before she set down her phone and purse and opened the door to his fridge, grabbing a cold bottle of water for Gavin. He was reclining at an awkward angle, eyes closed.Â
She cleared her throat slightly to get his attention, and passed the water to him. Grunting out his thanks, he made quick work on it, and she felt herself mesmerized by the bobbing of his Adam's apple. She looked down, taken aback by the wave of lust that seemed to hit her as she stood in his presence. She had always thought Gavin was an incredibly handsome man, and sure sometimes she caught herself staring at his rear sometimes (all those squats paid off), but she had managed thus far to chalk that down to nothing more than appreciating a good looking friend. She could almost see Anna shaking her head in disapproval at her in her mindâs eyes.Â
âYes, yes, Iâll admit itâ, she mumbled to herself in irritation.
â What was that?â Gavin asked. She started in surprise. When had he stood up?Â
âI said uh, less moonlit sits! I mean, I havenât gone out for night walks since youâve been gone.â
Gavin was still giving her a weird look, so she struggled to find a change of topic.
âUh, should I get the shower running for you? I know you probably would like to bathe.â
Gavin shook his head before limping over to grab another bottle of water, grimacing when he bent down to grab it from the fridge.. He leaned against the counter, the shadows under his eyes almost like bruises.
âI was able to get a shower in at the hospital. Just didnât think walking around in a backless hospital gown would have gone unnoticed.â The corner of his lip quipped up in a slight smirk, and she found herself chuckling at the thought of Gavin on Sparky, gown blowing in the wind as passerbys stared in astonishment.Â
âHey donât laugh,â he fussed, ears turning red as he covered his mouth. She waved her hands in denial, still unable to get the image out of her head.
âIâm not, Iâm not! Iâm sure you would still look very dignified Officer Gavin,â she said with mock seriousness. Gavin let out a âhumphâ of disbelief. There was a pause of silence, but as usual, it wasnât an uncomfortable one. That was one of the things she liked, no loved, about Gavin. There was no awkwardness with him. It was like all the years of no contact, and the misunderstandings of high school had melted away the first time they reunited. She realized throughout their time together that he also never faulted her, or held her preconceived notions about him in the past against her. If anything, he was apologetic, as if the faux pas was caused by him and his rough approach to things. Gavin let out a yawn, and she felt a rush of shame. Here she was holding up his time, and he was too polite to say anything. What she had to say could wait; right now she needed to get him to bed.Â
âGavin, Iâm so sorry! I know youâre tired, and here I am holding you up. Please, letâs at least get you to bed.â She knew he was tired when he didnât put up a fight. He just put down his half finished water bottle, and nodded, wearily at her. She made her way over to him, and held out her arm. Gavin looked at her questioningly.Â
âLean on me. Iâll help you to bed.âÂ
I can make it on my own. Besides, youâre half my size.â She straightened her back, resolutely.
âIâm not spun glass, Gavin. You of all people should know that. Now, lean on me.â Ears turning red again, Gavin tentatively put some of his weight on her shoulder, his other arm coming around her for support. She felt his warmth practically burn through her dress, and her heart started pounding in her chest. She had been closer to him than this before, but as they made their way to his bedroom, she couldnât help the blush that started to creep up her neck. Maybe it was due to the fact that she had never been in his bedroom before. She helped him down onto his bed, and in an effort to look everywhere but his face, turned on the bedside lamp. She couldn't help but smile at the bare room. Like the rest of the apartment, Gavinâs bedroom was in the same utilitarian style. Besides the plush duvet on the bed, or the hickory desk set, there wasn't more in the way of creature comforts. Gavin began to unbutton his shirt, and he let out a curse. She rushed over to him, and slapped his hands away, gently.
âIâll do it. Please just relax.â Gavinâs hands fell to his sides, and his chest rose and fell rapidly as she slowly began unbuttoning his shirt. She could smell the antiseptic and the clean scent of soap. It seemed that as each button became undone, the tension in the air became more and more unbearable. She felt like she was holding her breath and forced herself to exhale. Too quickly (or not quickly enough, she wasnât quite sure which one), his shirt was undone. With a bit of a struggle, she helped him remove it, Gavin grimacing in pain as he pulled it off. She stared at his chest, and for once wasnât caught up in the beautiful display of his muscle. Instead, her eyes were fixed on the bandage covering his chest. It was right over his heart, and covered the span of his ribs. Already he was bleeding through, the tinge of blood almost jarring against the pristine white of the wrap. It needed to be changed already, and she tentatively touched the bandage. It became blurry before her eyes, and it took several blinks before she realized she was crying.Â
âHey, hey, itâs ok. Iâm ok. I promise it looks worse than it is.â Gavinâs words were meant to comfort her, but instead she began crying harder. She couldnât help it. What if he had been injured worse? Or better yet, what if he had died? He would have left this earth never knowing just what he meant to her.
âGavin, IâŚâ She couldnât even finish her sentence. âYou could have been hurt so much worse.â
He reached out his fingers, and clumsily tried to wipe the tears from her eyes. His calloused fingers sent tiny sparks against her cheeks. She sniffled, chagrined by her tears.Â
âSorry. Youâre the one hurt, and Iâm crying like a baby.â She tried to shake Gavinâs fingers away, but he just cupped her cheek, instead.
âYou donât ever have to apologize to me. Iâll always be around to take care of you.â She grabbed his hand, and dropped a kiss across his scarred knuckles. Gavin stilled. She made up her mind right then and there. She wouldnât leave his room until he knew how she felt.
âGavin, you always take care of me. For once, for once let me do something for you. She clambered off of the bed, and went to his bathroom to look for his medical kit. After rummaging under his sink, she came upon it. She made her way back to the bed, and ignoring Gavinâs protests, she set out to change his dressing. When she uncovered it, and saw the blood leaking out of his angry looking stitches, she felt a wave of dizziness come over her. She fought it off, however, and after cleaning it as gently as she could, rebandaging it. She secured it back underneath his ribs like the first bandage. She set back a little to admire her work, setting the kit on his bedside table.
âI know itâs not as good as the hospitalâs but⌠Itâs not too tight is it?â Her fingers begin to trail around the top of the bandage again, but this time she managed to keep the tears at bay. She drifted up higher, and ran them gently over the scar on his collarbone. She felt herself wishing that she had been there to take care of him when he got it, or any of the collections of scars he had. Making a promise right then and there to be there for the next one, she leaned forward and dropped a kiss on it. His flesh was hot underneath her lips, and she darted her tongue out to trace it. Gavinâs breathing picked up, and she could feel his heartbeat as she nuzzled his scar.
âWhat are you doing?â he asked hoarsely, muscles tensing up.
âShhh. Iâm taking care of you.â She grabbed his hand, and gave the scars along each of his arms the same treatment. And as each kiss touched his skin, Gavinâs muscles became more and more relaxed. It felt like some tightly wound knot in his heart was slowly loosening with each caress. But though the knot was loosening, his pants seemed to be doing the opposite. He had dreamt of her kisses on his skin for so long, and now that it was happening, he didnât have the strength to stop his body from reacting.Â
She shuffled herself down the bed to his stomach, and dropped a kiss along his scars there. She could feel Gavinâs abs flexing underneath her tongue as she ran it along them. His breathing was coming out almost in pants now, and she heard him exhale sharply as she dropped wet kisses in a trail to the cluster of scars at his hip that always drove her crazy whenever his pants would ride low. She had wanted to kiss them for longer than she cared to admit. And as she ran her teeth lightly against them, Gavin let out a strangled groan. She did it again, and his hips involuntarily jerked against her slightly as he let out another whimper. She shifted herself and sat up to look at Gavin. His amber eyes almost glowed in the darkness, the burning mix of lust and yearning tinged with a hint of confusion piercing her to her very core. He pushed his hair out of his face, and looked away.
â______?â her name coming out in an almost soundless whisper. âWhy?â She chewed her lip, suddenly nervous and afraid. What if Minor was confused? What if all this time together was just him being a good friend to someone being swept up in a story bigger than herself. But even if that was the case, she promised herself she would tell him.Â
âI did it because I came to a conclusion today. Helped along by Minor and Anna. Gav, I, I love you. I love you so, so much. And if Iâm honest, I think Iâve loved you for a while now. Iâll admit when you first came back around, I was scared of you.â She looked down, and rubbed her arm, sheepishly.
âAll those rumors in high school, and the blood stained note, I never made an effort to talk to you. And Iâm so so sorry about that. I justâŚâ she trailed off, still upset with her past shelf for behaving the way she had. Gavin was silent for a beat. Suddenly, he grabbed her and pulled her to his uninjured side into a tight hug. She struggled a bit, worried about his bandages. As if reading her mind, Gavin ran a hand through her hair.
âIt doesnât hurt right now. Just, just let me hold you for a moment ok? Just for a little.â
Heart pounding, she relaxed and tentatively put her arms loosely around him. She loved the warmth of his body, the distinct comfort it always seemed to bring her. She breathed in his crisp, clean smell, and felt her heart slowly begin to resume a normal tempo. This was the effect he always had on her. Once in his arms, it seemed like there was never any problem she couldnât overcome. There was something about his presence that just kept her grounded and calm. Gavin continued stroking her hair, and she felt her eyes begin to drift shut. The stress and worry, and then the sweet relief of being able to tell him how she felt hit her all at once. âJust for a few minutes moreâ, she thought. But before she knew it, she was sound asleep. Gavin heard her snoring softly, and chuckled to himself. Moving inch by painstaking inch so as to not wake her, he scooted his body down so that he was laying comfortably on his bed.. She let out a soft sigh before she snuggled closer to him. He dropped a kiss on the top of her head, the injury almost forgotten in lieu of her revelation. Belatedly, he realized he never said he loved her back, but that could wait. For now he whispered it softly in her ear before he closed his eyes, a soft smile of pure contentment on his face for the first time in a while.Â
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The really great thing about allowing Dick and Jason to have a good relationship before A Death in the Family IMO, is that it opens up sooooo many more possibilities for AFTER Jasonâs return.
For example:
Imagine a scenario where Bruce is gone for a week or so, the ever so useful âthere was an offworld mission or somethingâ excuse will do. And during that time, Dick and Jason are patrolling and working together....and they have an encounter with a particularly nasty villain or serial killer or whatever you want to go with. The bottom line is something happens during that particular adventure of theirs that leaves them shaken enough that they agree not to tell Bruce about it (believing the guy is dead or something), and then they try and put it behind them and never speak of it again.
Except then cut to a few years later, after Jason has come back but before heâs reconciled with the family, things are still strained and tense when their paths so much as cross, but with added angst because an actual brotherly bond torn asunder by death, trauma and lots of changes gives you way more fodder to work with IMO than the singular facet of Dick feeling guilty for not knowing Jason better - I mean, you have to at least admit that does limit your options considerably, in terms of their interactions, BUT I DIGRESS.
But anyway, Jason doesnât have anything against Dick in the way he does against Bruce, other than accepting Tim into the fold (which he does understand in a way, because its not all that different from when Dick accepted him into the family and Robin role despite having plenty of legitimate reasons to be a lot more reticent about that).....but they avoid each other because its just kinda painful, the fact that they donât KNOW each other anymore, not the way they used to understand each other in ways even Bruce couldnât always follow or understand. Plus Jasonâs attack on Tim, even leaning on the Pit madness as an altered state of mind mitigating circumstance....like, thatâs still a hard thing to get past, one brother being like âHey, lets do movie night tomorrow and totes just skip over the awkwardness of me just coming from hanging out with Tim who still has bandages on account of you trying to kill him the other dayâ.....its not the easiest thing to navigate, yeah?Â
And the fact that while Jason does understand its not fair to expect Dick to have like, iced out this kid he didnât go seeking out or anything, just for the sake of Jasonâs memory.....that understanding comes and goes with how rational or not heâs feeling any particular day, because he GETS it, but that doesnât mean he has to like it and he is after all only nineteen, and capable of bouts of pettiness, lol.
So even without Dick barely knowing Jason or Jason hating or resenting Dick, thereâs still plenty of roadblocks in the way of an easy brotherly reunion, plenty of understandable and valid emotions and priorities and choices that make everything a confusing mess and create conflicts of interest and just a general miasma of uncertainty where its like, even though they miss each other and would love to get back their sibling bond, they donât even know where to begin trying to go about that, you know? And throw in the state of affairs between Bruce and Jason still, which can be summed up as picture the Cold War, but now when you picture âColdâ think âIce Ageâ and youâre almost there.
Like. That is the Mt. Saint Helens of roadblocks right there. A big ass volcano sitting in the middle of the road and just cuz its dormant now doesnât mean that it couldnât at any minute erupt and blow its top and destroy everything within a several hundred mile radius, and thatâs just before Bruce and Jason REALLY get steamed, like, thatâs just their warm-up.
So. Yâknow. Difficulties. They abound.
But now throw in secrets from the time before Jason died that only the two of them know and they never told anyone else, and adventures they had when it was just the two of them, Jason visiting Dick in Bludhaven or Dick enabling Jason in playing hooky in Gotham because at that time Dick rotates methods of pissing Bruce off and thatâs his go-to move for Tuesdays, and crimes they solved together like Dick was working on an investigation and let Jason weigh in to practice his deductive reasoning without Bruce and thus impress him with how much heâs improved.Â
(My personal headcanon of brotherly advice Dick imparts to Jason on how to deal with Bruce is him telling Jason âwhen dealing with a man who thinks holding impossible expectations IS taking it easy on someone, he doesnât understand the question, can you repeat it please....like, in that case thereâs no shame in stacking the deck a little, whenever thatâs possible.â)
Anyway, point being.....all you really need is one singular bad guy that only Dick and Jason faced, together, when they were younger. Someone particularly nasty or sadistic, enough to disturb even them despite how much theyâve seen and lived. And who for whatever reason, both of them believed to be gone for good, maybe they thought he fell off a cliff into a conveniently placed body of water where no body could be found or blah blah blah look youâre smart cookies, you get it.
Take those few simple ingredients, chuck them in a metaphorical bowl and stir them all together and then leave on low heat to simmer.....
And voila. Just like that, you have a ready-made situation that forces Dick and Jason, specifically, to work together despite how tense and fractured things are between them, and needing to find a way to repair their brotherly bond and figure out how to work together the way they used to.......thanks to everyoneâs favorite Tropey McTroperson wherein a villain most foul, long believed dead, seems to be back and up to his old villainy.....and only those two who faced him before know how to stop him.....and despite all the reasons they come up with in their heads for why teaming up together now is just a recipe for disaster and doomed to failure, this is on them.Â
They were the ones who stopped this guy before, they were the ones who mistakenly believed he was dead and the threat he posed was gone for good.....which makes his dastardly return....dun dun dun.....unfinished business for them. Its personal.Â
All the completely valid, well-reasoned and justifiable arguments for why its absolutely bonkers for them to try and make like the Dukes of Hazzard on this case as if theyâre not at least a little bit miffed at each other for various things involving killing certain people and not killing certain people and trying to kill certain people and being totally unreasonable about the trying to kill certain people.....none of that is enough to get in the way of them doing their best to put all that aside for now and team up to stop this guy for good, the way they should have the first time.
Because letâs face it. One of the definitive areas of common ground that Dick and Jason share is when things are personal....they take it VERY personally. And when they feel responsible for something, like, you could get God on the phone to personally deliver absolution and assure them it wasnât their fault, and theyâd still be like âLOL yeah, okay, thatâs a good one âGod.â Didnât know all-knowing deities could be super hella wrong about things but hey, everyoneâs allowed an off day I guess.â
Anyway.
Two brothers estranged due to extreme circumstances, trauma, loss, grief, blame, the completely unreasonable and frankly just rude passage of time, and assorted other reasons ranging from âyou stole my favorite weapon-Bruce-definitely-didnt-know-I-had-and-kept-as-a-souvenir when I was fourteen and you STILL havenât given it backâ to âyou canât just shoot someone as your way of ending an uncomfortable conversation, Jasonâ......
But force them together via external situations or shared goals, and you have the perfect excuse to sidestep a lot of the more impossible to navigate conflicts born of comic book writers who donât freaking know how to CHILL when piling on the family dysfunction......and engineer a situation where they pretty much HAVE to retrace previous footsteps, comb their memories for every detail they can recall about that case and in the process remember how close they were then, fall back into old patterns and rhythms while working together....and various other things that give you everything you need to transplant them mentally and emotionally to a time before all those conflicts and problems created by other people, not them, when things were....better.Â
While through the mere fact theyâre successfully able to fall back into old habits and patterns of working together at all.....you can put them face to face with evidence that despite how much theyâve both changed and everything thatâs come between them, they are still fundamentally the same people they always were, and the shared experiences and common ground and all of that which enabled them to become brothers in the first place....its all still there, still able to be brought back out and dusted off and then used to forge a new brother bond that takes into account the ways theyâve changed since they last truly knew each other.
And none of that erases or solves the various complications and conflicts and issues that do still exist in the present, because of everything thatâs happened in the past few years and the things theyâve all done.....BUT, it allows for Dick and Jason at least to rebuild or find a new, sturdy foundation on which to stand and plant themselves before wading back into all of that.....so at least now they do so with firmer footing, and with a clear direction and goal in mind.....navigating the emotional minefield from their respect opposing sides.....and aiming to meet somewhere in the middle.
And then with one family bond rejuvenated, revitalized and consciously reaffirmed by both of them......then its that much easier to turn their attentions to the rest of the family, one by one, and repair or forge those bonds through a concerted effort....not just Jason on the outside looking in, or members of the family on the inside looking out at him like heâs a poor, lost soul they need to save (I canât help but picture Jason upchucking at the very thought, eww, how dare they)......but rather, a mix of both. Jason making his way back into the family via walking side by side with an ally on the inside who is still keeping pace with him so they can present a united front while they work towards a common goal they both want.....a family that acts like a family instead of like.....idk, yâknow, that thing they act like in the comics thatâs called âa familyâ but also, they all hate each other and wish everyone else would die except for the times when they forget the others even exist at all.
Anyway. That of course, is just one angle that can be taken with them, out of the many possibilities that arise just from letting them have a good relationship before Jason died.....and all the shared history, in-jokes, secrets, camaraderie, grief, etc that comes with that.
My point is just.....I talk a lot rant a lot about the fanon and fic tendency to paint them as having barely known each other back then and with it largely blamed on Dick having been a stand-offish asshole because he has a chip on his shoulder named Bruce and its not a chip at all its actually Mt. Everest, yup, the whole dang mountain, yetis and all.......
And then I kinda just....keep it there on that and how much it bugs, because, yâknow. It bugs.
BUT.
In keeping tunnel-vision locked on that and nothing else, Iâve never really expanded on the other byproduct of this fanon tendency that I think is worth considering:
And thatâs the fact that this angle, this story? The one where Dick was a douche and Jason doesnât really like him because of that until Dick apologizes for being a douche back then and begs for a second chance to do better, etc, etc? Its been told. Literally hundreds of fic writers have written that story by this point, and in the process limited...confined themselves, to this one singular possible dynamic between Dick and Jason when the thing is, like....thatâs pretty much the ONLY story and angle that can result from Dick and Jason barely having a relationship before he died.....basically just various executions of acknowledging their previous lack of a relationship, assigning blame, making apologies and granting forgiveness, and then from there building a relationship from scratch.Â
Obviously, people come up with unique spins on this all the time, Iâm not saying the stories that do this are all exactly the same....just that thereâs an innate ceiling to that particular premise, because when that specific dynamic of âno relationship really existed beforeâ is your one and only starting point......thereâs only so many places you can go from that, and wind up in the present where you then proceed to have them make a relationship for the first time.
BUT. But but but but but.
The second you allow for the possibility that Dick and Jason DID have a relationship before ADITF, and it just happened largely âoffscreenâ due to the fact that no solo Nightwing or Robin titles existed back then so there was nowhere to showcase just the two of them together......
You open up like.....so many more possibilities and angles and avenues and directions.
Because the thing is, yâknow how so many people in fandom pride themselves on not feeling constrained by canon, or better yet, speak fondly about the idea of just taking a flamethrower to the whole damn thing and cackling maniacally while shouting âThis oneâs for Bruce/Dick/Jason/Tim/Cass/whomever your fave fam member of choice might beâ?
Well. I mean. *spreads hands*
The second you flip the switch from âDick and Jason barely knew each other and mostly didnât like each other, this is the only canon that exists despite the fact that we just made it up because we could and canon can suck itâ.....to.....âDick and Jason did have a relationship and were close before Jasonâs death, its just we never saw it develop on the page due to logistical constraintsâ......
Suddenly.....you have THREE WHOLE YEARS of possible interaction that you can literally cram full of WHATEVER YOU WANT, and canon canât say a damn thing about it because its Schrodingerâs Adventures of Nightwing and Little Wing......without any canon viewing point set up to observe these interactions and thus force them into a singular form that you either like or you hate and set on fire.....those Adventures can look like aaaaaaaaaaaanything you want, and canon can kiss your patootie if it doesnât like it!
Its three whole years of âlost family historyâ just waiting to be mined for all kinds of treasure, and you can unlock it in any number of ways once Jason returns, to any number of potential end points.
They could have faced villains together just by themselves during that time, they could have teamed up on investigations. They could have had sleepovers, Dick could have helped him cram for tests or covered for him when he just needed to take a mental health day because dealing with Gothamâs upper class can be exhausting and he doesnât know how to explain that to Bruce in a way that wonât just lead to Bruce saying âI know, I get it, I hate it tooâ even though the ways in which its exhausting to Bruce and the ways its exhausting to Jason are not the same and not interchangeable.....but he doesnât have to explain that to Dick, because Dick is closer to an understanding of it, heâs been there for a version of that himself, and they were assholes to him because of his lower class and unorthodox upbringing too.
You could have Jason tagging along on various official or unofficial Titans missions or just meet-ups, the way Jason teamed up with them for the Brother Blood story without Bruce ever knowing. Dickâs kid brother that nobody minded him bringing because they all adored him, and thus just by having him and Dick get along, you open the door to Jason having established dynamics and history with any number of Dickâs friends, allowing for a wide range of potential reactions to Jason and his Red Hood persona after he comes back.
You could have Jason being really invested in his brotherâs relationship in Kori because he thinks Kori is just the fucking coolest, or you can have Jason secretly shipping his brother and Babs and thinking theyâd be a much better match but keeping quiet about his opinion as long as Dickâs happy with Kori. You could have Jason panicked and turning to Dick for help and advice the first time he asks a date to one of his schoolâs formal dances, because heâs pretty sure heâd be able to provide actual proof that spontaneous human combustion IS possible, if he had to ask Bruce for romantic advice, like, aside from the fact that heâs seen flies trapped in amber whose relationships appear to advance at a faster pace than Bruceâs does with Selina, thatâs his DAD, eww, he canât ask his DAD to fill him in on whatâs normal to expect and likely to be expected of him on this kind of/level of dating, but Dick? He can go to Dick for that, and imagine the adorbs potential.Â
And the likelihood of various Titans coming up with the flimsiest of excuses to keep popping into the room in order to spy on the adorbs-ness, and the literal natural disaster that is the combination of Wally, Roy, Garth, Gar and Joey all trying to be âhelpfulâ and offer their own dating tips to Jason, while Donna and Lilith kick back with some popcorn while taking shots at the various boysâ expertise and credentials in this matter, if theyâre gonna be offering advice to an impressionable young teen who doesnât deserve to be saddled with having to learn from THEIR mistakes.
And on and on and on. Three whole years you can fill with any manner of adventures, secrets, shared stories, confessed ambitions and hopes and dreams for the future, commiserating on the parts of growing up in the spotlight in Gotham that Bruce just canât relate to, sharing things from their pasts that theyâve never even told Bruce about purely because there are some things that are just easier to tell or talk about with a sibling close to your age than to your father.
But you see what Iâm saying? Rounding Dick and Jasonâs early relationship down to the barest bones until its practically being non-existent......that makes for a paragraph or at most a chapter dedicated to covering that ground, something that everyone pretty much expects to pop up in a story in order to address that history they have, or lack there of. And thus its never really a surprise to see it, thereâs not a ton to take away from it, and it oftentimes ends up kinda just being filler despite even the best writersâ best attempts to make it engaging.....because thereâs just not a lot to say about a relationship whose defining aspect is it didnât really exist, and Iâm pretty sure most writers would love to simply skip past that entirely and not even bother addressing it because it FEELS like writing filler a lot of times, I imagine. But at the same time, you kinda HAVE to include it and canât really come up with a way to just leave it out entirely, without having a gaping hole in the meat of your actual story that explains how Dick and Jason got from there to here. Its a part of the story that everybody already knows, or expects.....but still demands being included, because canon just skipped over that entirely so thereâs nothing from canon to even reference when shifting Dick and Jason into the kind of dynamic you want them to have or grow after his return.
And so its a paragraph or two paragraphs or a whole chapter that nobody really ever wants to write, because thereâs not a whole lot of new ground to cover with it, and its kinda a cause for resentment, being stuck having to include it in every story covering Jasonâs return anyway, even though thereâs only limited ways you can stretch and exercise your creativity and expand on that particular angle.
But with Dick and Jason having an actual relationship pre-ADITF that is filled with nothing but whatever you choose to fill it with, whenever you feel like delving into it or dusting off an old memory or vacation or want to reveal some long-buried secret only the two of them know.....the skyâs the limit. Instead of that standard stock paragraph/chapter rehashing the take on that particular story that everyone already knows but narrative structure forces everyone to shoehorn in somewhere anyway.....thereâs more than enough in those three lost/secret years of family history, especially specific to Dick and Jason, to serve as the basis for entire fics exploring that time, digging up secrets or mysteries that originated in that time, reminiscing about that time or diving back into existing dynamics with people Jason met through Dick during that time without having to write Jason meeting them or only getting to know them for the first time as an adult.
(Omggggggg, imagine a story thatâs just Dick and Jason and Uncle Clark, or Dick and Jason and Aunt Diana, and like, Bruce is like I GO OUT OF TOWN FOR ONE NIGHT AND YOU SOMEHOW END UP WITH MY KIDS HELPING YOU FIGHT AN ALIEN/DEMON INVASION ON SOME OTHER PLANET/DIMENSION??? WHAT THE HELL!)
In conclusion, you hate canon and how much it fucks with the Batfamily? Totally with you. But this is the one period in these charactersâ lives where canon doesnât actually weigh you down or cage you in if you donât want it to....instead it gives you the gift of being whatever the hell you want it to be, just so long as you make sure everyone ends where they need to be by the time ADITF happens. (Assuming you donât just end up going full AU by that point since thereâs no law saying Jason HAS to die or else the DC universe will destabilize and implode in upon itself).
Anyway, Iâve waxed poetic about this long enough, I think, and without a single line of poetry to show for it, but thatâs for the best. Me to poetry is like a butcher to a carcass, but only if this particular butcher is very bad at his job and always makes a mess everywhere, and it just never ends well for anybody.
And now, as usual, I end an overly long post that exhausted my brain cells and made me sputter to a stop just before I come up with an ending to the post that actually makes sense and isnât just me going, hey you know what, maybe there is something to be said after all for the Sopranosâ sty -Â
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Tri-Arame: Study All Night?
Primary Pairing Trio: YuuAyuSetsu Words: ~2k Rating: G Time Frame: The end of their first week of college Story Arc: Setsuâs Ceaseless Study Session Study All Day? Study All Night? A Nap a Day
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Authorâs Note: Iâm hoping this all makes sense. My outline got a little disjointed as I patched together my main ideas, cut out excessive Endless Eight stuff and padded back in new - or old, in some cases - ideas along the way.
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Ayumu opened her eyes and was immediately greeted by the welcome sight of Yuu���s adorable sleeping face, barely a dozen centimeters away. Apparently, the routine had resumed last night as she remembered her childhood friend sliding in next to her after once again staying up with Setsuna.
So, did that mean the overly studious Setsuna had gone back to collapsing across the kotatsu? Ayumu hoped that wasnât the case. Even cuddling next to Yuu on the floor was at least a better sleeping position than hunched over the table.
Ayumu sat up and found the raven-haired girl staring at her laptop. Wait, did she stay up all night?
âGood morning, Setsuna-chan.â Ayumu called quietly to avoid rousing Yuu.
âGood morning, Ayumu-san.â Setsuna replied before her breath hitched. âMorning?â Like the new day itself, the prospect dawned on her. She glanced frantically at the window where sunlight was streaming in, over at Ayumu and back at her screen where she leaned in, likely to ensure she was seeing the time correctly. Upon confirmation that it was indeed morning, she whined plaintively.
âSetsuna-chanâŚâ Ayumu started.
âIâm sorry!â Setsuna interrupted. âI didnât mean to! I just lost track of time. I just really wanted to finish another module, and⌠andâŚâ
âYou donât need to apologize to me.â Ayumu said as she climbed over Yuu to the side of the bed. âApologize to yourself. You look exhausted.â She wondered if she should point out the dark, puffy patches under the other girlâs eyes. âYou should at least take a nap before going to the studio.â
âI, uhm⌠have the day offâŚâ Setsuna explained. âItâs the weekend, so everyone is focused on Lives, and as this is my first week of classes, I am not participating.â
âAh, well in a way that might be better for you.â Ayumu smiled gently. âNow, come over here and take my spot.â She patted the mattress, noting idly that she had previously been on the other side.
âEh?â Setsuna seemed confused by the offer. âI-in your bed?â
âMm.â Ayumu confirmed with a nod. âThat way I can keep an eye on you.â
Pink started to dust Setsunaâs cheeks.
Ayumu chuckled at the adorable reaction. âEven if I make you leave your laptop here and send you back to your own room, Iâm worried youâll try to get in âone more moduleâ on your phone.â
ââŚâ Setsunaâs expression made it clear that the thought had indeed crossed her mind.
Ayumu sighed. âWhat am I going to do with youâŚâ
âIâm sorryâŚâ
â You donât need to apologize. Youâre not making me do anything.â Ayumu assured. âIâm doing this because I want to. Youâre a very important, irreplaceable person in my life, Setsuna-chan.â
Setsuna drew in a quick breath as she recognized her own words being spoken back to her.
âAnd as such, your health and happiness are important to me as well.â Ayumu continued. âAnd you know, Iâve been keeping an eye on Yuu-chan for a while now; youâve seen how bad she can be.â
Setsuna nodded.
âAnd it was easy because she lived next door. I wanted to do more for you when I started recognizing traits you shared with Yuu-chan, but until last week, you lived a couple stations away.â Ayumu smiled. âBut now you also live next door, so I can do more.â
âBut you shouldnât have to⌠I should learn to take better care of myself...â
âYes, but like I said, I want to help. Now, I know I canât help you study, but I can cook meals. I can help with laundry. I can keep you company and maybe do a better job reminding you to take breaks.â
Setsuna scoffed ruefully at the last point. âYou have studying to do as well.â She pointed out. âAnd you have dreams and goals just like me.â
âI do. And you and Yuu-chan have been incredibly supportive of me as I work toward them.â
âI donât want to inconvenience youâŚâ
âYouâre not, I promise.â Ayumu shook her head. âBut I want to support you two as well. And Iâm only going for an associate degree and thus far, it has been fairly easy.â She explained. âIâm confident I will be done inside a year. But you and Yuu-chan are both going for bachelorâs degrees, which means a lot more work. And on top of that, youâre a professional idol now, which is amazing. Your dedication is truly awe inspiring, Setsuna-chan.â
Setsuna offered a small smile in response.
âBut Iâm worried youâll burn yourself out at this rate. So, another thing I can help you with is maintaining a proper sleep schedule, but only if you let me.â
âYouâre too kind to me, Ayumu-san.â
âNot at all. Now come on, before you collapse across the table, again.â
Setsuna blushed adorably but nonetheless, pushed herself out from under the kotatsu.
âYouâll have more room on the wall side, so youâll have to climb over Yuu-chan.â
âUhm, do you think Yuu-san will mindâŚ?â She asked as she made her way over.
âSheâll be fine.â At least she was the other nightâŚ
âAlrightâŚâ Setsuna carefully crawled over the sleeping girl before turning so she could slip under the duvet.
âIâm going to go wash up, and Iâll make breakfast when I get back.â Ayumu explained. âIâll put your portion in the fridge so you can reheat it when you wake up later.â
âThank you, Ayumu-san.â Setsuna said, closing her eyes.
âSleep well, Setsuna-chan.â
ââŚâ
Wow, is she out already? Ayumu wondered. Heh, just like Yuu-chan. Idly, she reached over to brush a stray strand of hair out of Setsunaâs face. Immediately, Setsuna turned her head up towards Ayumuâs fingers. Wait, is she awake? Ayumu withdrew her hand and the other girl settled back down as though nothing had happened.
Out of curiosity, as well as a desire to see that adorable reaction again, Ayumu reached out a second time. This time, she ran her hand gently across the top of Setsunaâs head. Again, the response was immediate and Setsuna pushed up into her palm.
Cute. Too cute. Itâs like petting a cat. Ayumu thought to herself as she patted more while Setsuna let out a content murmur.
âMmm⌠Ayumu?â A sleepy voice came from under her.
Ayumu froze.
âWhat are youâŚâ Yuu trailed off with a lazy chuckle as she apparently noticed what was going on.
âI-i-i-itâs not what you think!â Ayumu protested, trying to keep her voice down to not wake Setsuna, who she assumed was actually asleep.
âSetsunyanâs being spoiled by Ayumu⌠Nyo fair⌠Yuunyan wants to be spoiled too.â
Ayumu felt her chest tighten. Even though she knew Yuu was intentionally playing things up, she found the act absolutely adorable. And despite also knowing her face was burning, she moved her other hand to Yuuâs head.
Yuu hummed her approval and pushed up into Ayumuâs palm in a similar manner to how Setsuna had reacted moments ago.
It was a little awkward, leaning over the two girls, but Ayumu decided she could maintain it for a little while longer. After all, seeing their cute expressions far outweighed any discomfort the position posed. Ayumu smiled to herself and continued petting Yuu and Setsuna affectionately.
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Setsuna jerked her head back up after it had started to lull forward. She shook her head briefly and blinked a few times in an effort to stave off a growing fatigue.
âReady to turn in, Setsuna-chan?â
âMm?â Setsunaâs attention was drawn to the other girl sitting kitty-corner to her.
âIâm about ready.â Yuu continued. âWe should go to bed and get a good nightâs rest.â She started to push herself out from under the table. âCâmonâŚâ She motioned toward Ayumuâs bed where the redhead as already sleeping.
What? Was Yuu inviting her to join them? Setsuna felt her pulse quicken. ButâŚ
âI, uhm⌠let me finish this module, first.â
Yuu raised an eyebrow. âAlright, but donât take too much longer.â She pulled up the duvet and started to slide under. âIâll leave room for you.â
Setsunaâs heart continued to pound against her chest. Sharing a bed with Ayumu and Yuu⌠It was like that classic manga trope, There Is Only One Bed, except unlike the trope, nobody involved was unwilling.
Or were they?
Ayumu had invited, or rather instructed, Setsuna to sleep in her bed earlier that day⌠or yesterday, technically, she corrected as she realized the time. And Yuu had already been there, but Ayumu herself hadnât joined them. Sure, she had to get ready for class, but, wait, no it was Saturday, she didnât have class. She could have slept in. Did she not want to join them?
Did Ayumu not want Setsuna to join her and Yuu tonight⌠this morning?
Ayumu would be fine with it, rightâŚ? Maybe? But what if she wasnât?
Setsuna couldnât ask Ayumu for her permission as she was already asleep and there was no way she was going to inconvenience her by waking her up just for that.
She found herself gazing longingly at the bed where her two best friends, no, the two girls she loved, slept. She wanted to join them. And Yuu had even offered. And yetâŚ
The seeds of doubt had been sown well over a year ago and had thus developed stubborn roots. She had managed to cut them down when they sprouted, sometimes even with their help. But she lacked the courage to address the roots, worried that in doing so, she would potentially prove that she was indeed coming between Ayumu and Yuu.
Over the last two years, Setsuna had grown close to Yuu and Ayumu, far closer than one would reasonably expect for a normal friendship. Nothing had been declared officially among them, but Yuu, and just recently Ayumu, had repeated her own words back to her, claiming her to be a very important, irreplaceable person in their lives.
For all practical purposes, their triangle seemed different than those so often portrayed in anime, and Setsuna desperately wanted to believe it to be true. However, she was too afraid to find out for sure. And if there was any grain of truth to the anime series, Setsuna would be the one to succeed in winning over one or the other, while their childhood friend was left behind. But she knew she couldnât do that, not to them. She would rather let them be happy together while she moved on.
Setsuna closed her laptop and pushed herself out from under the kotasu. Then, with one last glance toward the sleeping couple, she quietly made her way to the door and slipped out, hoping the light from the hallway wouldnât wake them.
She trudged the few steps down the hall to her own room, unlocked the door and stepped in. Her legs felt like they had weights attached to them as she moved toward her bed. Ayumu was right, she really needed to get her sleep schedule under control.
Collapsing into her bed, Setsuna was immediately aware of the clean scent, or rather the lack there of. Of course, she had cleaned everything last weekend, but she hadnât actually slept here since. She remembered growing up thinking freshly washed bedding was the best but now it felt different, almost⌠sterile? Was that the right word? Whatever the correct description, her bed stood in stark contrast to Ayumuâs.
This wasnât to imply that Ayumuâs bed was unsanitary by any means. Setsuna was aware that the other girl washed everything as often as necessary; Ayumu was quite skilled at housekeeping chores and keeping track of that sort of thing. But her bed smelled like her and Yuu. It was warm, cozy and felt lived-in⌠or slept-in as the case was. It basically just felt better.
Perhaps⌠maybe she had chosen wrong in not accepting Yuuâs offer.
But she couldnât go back now, even if she wanted to. Not only would she risk waking them, but she lacked the energy. She could barely muster the strength to pull her blanket over herself.
With a sigh, Setsuna closed her eyes and let herself slip into a deep slumber.
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Authorâs Notes Continued in Followup Post
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 â  oh fuck, i can feel you doing it around my cock. i can feel you â thatâs it, baby. fuck yourself on me.  â  //cuz he could still be tied down or up....
@meretrixious  ||  meme
    they talked about it. joked about it. remy whispering he wanted to do this a few times and warren, never one to shy away from challenges or from a bit of verbal banter, had dared him. try it, lebeau. see how far you get.     theyâd gotten close a few times, inching just a little bit closer to the roles reversing, the goal being the winged mutant to be the one to be laid bare and getting ravished for once. wandering hands, slick fingers in the heat of the moment, or in that warm glow afterwards when warren wasnât as keen to jump right out of reach. remy purring sweet bullshit that made warren feel way too much like a fucking girl so it was just met with huffing and âshut upâ. but they both knew where this was supposed to be going, and remy didnât seem to want to let up on that goal. fucker.
    apparently tonight had been the night. after months of hooking up, casual stuff that was free of any strings for both so it was comfortable, low expectations, no reason to be cutesy about anything they did or didnât want. they knew what to expect from the other. usually that meant remy was absolutely prepared for warren to blow his mind with sex heâd feel for a few days afterwards.     this time it was different.     the mood, for starters. it wasnât awkward exactly, and it was probably just a lucky moment on remyâs part to catch warren in a mood that contributed to the situation at hand. just a quick text to know they were both in the same area and twenty minutes later war had been sitting on the balcony of his hotel room, looking a little heated but like an absolute vision. jeans tight, a thin cotton shirt with geometrical print under his leather jacket, the collar popped up. he could show up in anything and make it work, theyâd found. but he put effort in tonight, and remy was more than welcoming.     from the get-go it was clear where remy wanted to go with it. and though warren was more than skilled at changing those plans, make the other crave him crawling over him and make him feel exactly why they hooked up so often, this time... he wasnât doing any of that. he let remy peel his jacket off, kiss his neck, pull the shirt from his jeans to slip open the buttons. hands sliding across his skin, never pausing at the scars but halting when fingers caressed along warrenâs new little additions. oh, heâd been more than a little thrilled when he found the piercings, grinning into the hollow behind warrenâs ear and making even the angel get a little red on his cheekbones with a well-placed comment about them.     heâd had a surprise for warren. newly purchased. heâd been excited to show him and warren caught on instantly when remy tossed him the bundle of hemp rope, a deep blue colour and he knew immediately thereâd gone some research into it -- it was strong, sturdy rope that definitely came from one of the better suppliers.     and warren was always down for a little bit of tying up, of course.
    heâd let remy perch and pose him, undoing his belt so he could work him out of his pants, his underwear, even his socks had to go -- no, keep the shirt on. itâs cute. i promise i wonât get anything on it. warren had no shame in his nudity when he was put on the bed and the other went to work on his ropes. a harness first, hands careful as they drew warren into it, tying until the rope was flat against his skin everywhere, knots in the right places and remy feeling rather pleased with the way heâd put warrenâs... assets on display. the nipple jewelry was definitely a good choice.     then his arms. a simple tie to bring them together behind his back, attaching them to the back of the harness. he watched warren pull on them, the way the skin chafed against the rope, how the muscle moved under it in attempts to pull free. no such luck. there was an edge inside warren he tiptoed right that moment, knowing he couldnât run now if he wanted to, and it showed in his eyes when remy sat on the bed in front of him. was this what he wanted to to? right now? he swallowed thickly.     remy looked hot. shirt undone, jeans open but without letting everything hang out -- warren definitely enjoyed the view. at his hand winking him closer, the angel started awkwardly shuffling over, wings making it surprisingly difficult to keep his balance. thankfully the room wasnât all that big so in absolute case of emergency he could dig his claws into the cheaply tiled ceiling for support. once he was where remy wanted him, though, the hands on his thighs kept him steady enough to no longer worry about it.
    âso pretty,â remyâd said, making warren grunt with disagreement. âdonât say that shit,â he replied, but all it got him was a hand so close to his face that for a moment he thought remyâd be into choking -- but no, thank fuck he wasnât. just a touch to shut him up, thumb tracing his bottom lip, pulling just slightly to expose his teeth. like appreciating a beast, something untameable that heâd somehow gotten his hands on. a trophy.     then warren had been subjected to a slow handjob, edging him a few times until his head leaned back, lips wet with saliva and the hotel room filled with panting. that was when remyâd switched tactics, grabbing the lube heâd put on the nightstand for preparation, and when his hand traveled over warrenâs thigh to his backside, their eyes met. both hungry for this encounter, remyâs asking silent permission for this next step and warrenâs heavy with challenge. it was always risky with him, this moment. sometimes heâd dare remy and the second fingers came even close to him, there had been biting, pulling away to flip remy around on the mattress and take control the way he liked to do.     but he couldnât quite do that this time. his breath stilled when remy rubbed at him, last chance to back out, warren -- and then eyes squeezed close, brows furrowed and his expression a grimace when two fingers pressed inside him. reluctant. nerves. nostrils flaring. he didnât like this. he didnât like that he felt strung out already, everything inside him so tightly wound that it was exhausting.     then there was a soft press of lips to his own, a silent apology and promise they could stop whenever warren wanted. it did little to soothe him, but oh, a soft sound escaped him when remy paired the invasion with other administrations. tongue and teeth on warrenâs throat, a warm hand stroking his erection to help him distribute his focus. the fingers moved, aware of the squeezing each time he went in to the last knuckle, but even that faded with a bit of effort. he just needed warren to relax, to figure out that remy wouldnât subject him to something he hated.     and it wasnât that warren hated this. he did, but not because it wasnât pleasurable to him. he just... god, he expected pain around every corner, degrading words to add salt to the wounds. he had a high tolerance for that kind of bullshit, but not when he was tied up and all he could use to say no were his words. words werenât his strongest feat, after all.
    âare you ready?â remy whispered to his neck, nibbling at him, tasting the salt on his skin, and warrenâs confirmation was breathless, a little wheezy. the quiet moment of being left alone while the other worked on everything he needed left warren in a bit of a daze, tumbling between wanting this and wanting to give a jerk of his body until he was on the floor, claws digging at the hardwood under him. thoughts were right about the spiral out of control when remy was right back with him, touching his body, fingers toying with the ring through his nipple to get his attention back to the present. tugging a little to get him to sit up on his knees, give remy a bit of space to finally push his pants and boxerbriefs down.     warren didnât even look. knew heâd probably chicken out if he did. but with closed eyes he listened to softly whispered words of comfort, the slick sound of remy getting himself ready as well. sucked in a breath when remyâs hand rested on his waist to make him sit back down, feeling him against the curve of his buttocks, eagerly rubbing up to him. fingers hooked into the front of the rope harness to lean the angel forward until remy could trap his lips in a kiss, much more desperate from warrenâs end in a search for validation while he felt the hand around him press remyâs arousal closer to him.
    and then remy pushed him back to sit up. slowly. and warren couldnât bring himself to make a single sound at the intrusion, which also at least meant no complaints for once. no witty remarks, no mean comments to let his personality shimmer through discomfort.     when he was back upright, god, he couldnât quite find his breath. his adamâs apple bobbed in the faded light from the bedside lamp, chest shimmering with sweat, and a soft, choked sound lingered on the tip of his tongue. only a slight shift of remy under him, the light adjustment of the angle and the drag of him inside warren finally allowed the blond to drag in a rough gulp of air, chest heaving against his restraints. no doubt he was beautiful to watch like this, wings knocking against the ceiling in search of a way to let out everything that was twisting inside him.     to test the waters, remy gave a slow push of his hips upwards and the noise that dripped from warrenâs wet lips was something sounding completely foreign to them both, deep and throaty and hoarse. a hand curving around him was all he needed and then remyâs chest was painted with white streaks, the last spurts dribbling lazily along his wrist. oh.     both hands ended up on warrenâs thighs, fingertips digging into the straining muscle and plush flesh to guide him, find a rhythm until warren caught on. his head lolled back forward and his blond curls were sticking to his forehead, feet tucked under remyâs thighs for leverage when the pressure of the hands eased so he could move the way he wanted.     it was a slow rhythm. slowly up and slowly back down. no rush at all even if he felt a pang of shame whenever he ground down and could feel remy pulsating inside him. how far were they going to take this? did he want to... did remy want to...? how did he even put it into words without feeling absolutely disgusting? it wasnât completely unpleasurable, that was for sure, but it was just... not warrenâs thing. this. being on the receiving end. was this how others felt with him? that couldnât be right.     eyes opened faintly when remy spoke up to see his jaw tighten. that wasnât a face of disgust. warren had seen plenty of those and this wasnât it. his hips changed angle and the next time he slid down over remy, his eyes shot wide open and he jerked on top of him, knees pressing at the otherâs sides and a thread of saliva dripping down from parted lips.     âfuck,â warren croaked, hunched over. remy under him took the next moment to push up with his hips, making that same sensation spark through warren like electricity, prickling all the way from behind his eyes down to the very tips of his toes. and remy was laughing softly down there, doing it again until warren was squeezing so tight even he let out a chuckling âow, ow, stop, donât do that --â. it was painfully obvious that warren had never been subjected to this kind of pleasure, quickly building up already.
    the ceiling was already ruined, claws having pushed through the tiles to find the steel skeleton hidden there to hold onto with his claws, the material already ever so lightly deforming under the pressure.     âjust breathe,â remy told him, hand stroking the curve of his torso, feeling the skin ripple from how he was leaning forward, but then he did it again and warren just couldnât, a whine as a reply to his ridiculous request. warren didnât feel ridiculous very easily but like this he definitely did: face red, the blush blotching on his neck and chest, and he couldnât even find the action he needed to take to stop drooling, mouth feeling dry and a throat like sandpaper.
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