stanleyisworking

[stanleyisworking]

Final Words

Wow, that was a ride!

Here's a candid photo of me and Mariya, one of the other vocalists in my course.

I do not remember when this was taken. I think I was too tired after work and wanted bubble tea. We got bubble tea. This photo serves no purpose other than showing off bubble tea.

To summarize, my summer experience so far has been a rollercoaster ride. There were many moments where I had to think of a solution quickly on my feet, and many times I questioned whether I was cut out for what I signed up for, but I am immensely proud of one thing - and that thing is the act of showing up!

Just by showing up, I allow myself to go with the flow and deal with the problems of the day as they arise. Oftentimes, it was not as scary as I made it out to be in my head.

I grew a lot in these few months and I am thankful I got the chance to experience so much before I graduate from LASALLE. It just dawned upon me that this would be my final year at LASALLE, and looking back, Stanley in diploma would never imagine taking up opportunities like the ones mentioned.

Also, this very cute teacher's day note from a student:

Once again, I am so thankful to be given the chance to grow and discover myself further every day. I hope you enjoyed reading these entries as much as I enjoyed reflecting on them.

Next stop: Dissertation!!

See you then!

[stanleyisworking]

Private Teaching: Individuals in Their 40s+

My last student profile is not from SOMA, but I decided to include them, because they taught me a lot more than I taught them. These were my private students. Or, rather, clients. They were much older than me!

With their kids fully grown and extra time for themselves, these two friends decided to pick up singing and hired me for their journey.

We went from unable to match pitch on the major scale, to singing them ascending and descending in every key in just two lessons!

Of course, the challenges I faced with older clients are different from teenagers or kids.

These clients struggled with self-confidence and the belief that it was too old for them to start singing. I maneuvered this by reaffirming them that at least they were here today, and reminded them of how long they had been wanting to start - so the right time is to start now!

To be honest, my job with them was mostly to be an encouraging friend. We talked a lot during lessons about life in general, and I hope they know that they were teaching me about adulthood as much as I was imparting them the joy of singing.

Seeing these older adults taking the risk to do something that they had always wanted to do as a kid was very inspiring. It made me realized that I have also been stopping myself from pursuing things I wanted to pursue, because I kept waiting for the right time or the right moment, or whether people would judge and what would others say about me. (Maybe I will finally start that writing career, who knows...)

This text I received from them after our months together made me feel so warm and blessed. Madonna is an inside joke, I would always tell them to pretend that they were Madonna and embody that fearless persona whenever they were too shy (then I would rush home and listen to more Madonna and music from their time to find more materials for them!)

I hope they are happy and successful in their careers and in life!

[stanleyisworking]

SOMA Pt. 2: Student Profile - B

My next student will be code-named "B", because I am not creative with names! (By the way, in case you were wondering - I don't usually take videos of myself teaching in my studio if consent was not given by my students, so I'll try to provide as much information as possible through these walls of texts, bear with me!)

Here's a random video of the dedicated space given to me by SOMA, though!

B is much older and previously I mentioned that A wanted to get into SOTA, right? Well, B wanted to get into Berklee!

I had to take a different approach with B. Since they were considered late teens/young adult, their prior experience with singing would be a consideration for me. In fact, with all students, I take their prior knowledge into consideration, but when it comes to working with late teenagers, we would be dealing more on self-esteem, self worth, clashes in ideas, and sometimes learning how to eat the humble pie. There is a story for another day, if we even have that day, where I struggled to keep up with a specific teenage student's moodswings, but that was before I was teaching at SOMA. Nonetheless, I am thankful for that prior experience so I am better equipped this time with B!

Problem: B came to me and their main concern was not liking the sound of their voice.

I was a bit confused. When I heard them sing during the first lesson, they were perfectly fine. Sure, there were some things that we could work on - perhaps breathing technique, articulation, enunciation, and emotional interpretation, but, I quite enjoyed their vocal tone.

Solution: I tried to find out more about what they did not like about their voice.

I soon realized it was due to a lot of unfavorable comments about their singing when they were growing up. I strongly resonated with them afterward.

One of the reasons why I enjoy teaching voice so much goes back to how I put mental health first above everything else. I believe that the voice is one of those instruments that, because of an individual's past experiences and traumatic memories, can alter the way they sound. (See: Monti E, Kidd DC, Carroll LM, Castano E. What's in a singer's voice: The effect of attachment, emotions and trauma. Logoped Phoniatr Vocol. 2017)

Hence, sometimes I could share all the right techniques and hammer the countless vocal exercises, but mentally, if a singer has trauma holding them back, they would not deliver. Personally, I relate to this very much.

However! I have found many methods that worked for me in the past and I was very eager to gain B's trust and confidence, so we could work better together.

Whenever they would tell me they were uncomfortable with singing in a specific tone, I would affirm them and tell them that they sounded fine. They would say "But, in the past," and it would be about what someone had said about their voice. I acknowledged it and told them it was a valid concern, but I threw the question back at them and asked if they think thought sounded fine? Did they felt uncomfortable while singing?

Upon much reflection, B realized singing in the tone that was "disliked" by others was way more comfortable than trying to sound similar to what people liked. I was trying to assist them in developing their identity and their sound, taking the pressure away from sounding like what their friends or family liked to listen to, and to be more in tune with their body and what felt natural to them.

They slowly opened up to me as the weeks went by and we made significant progress. This student managed to hit an Ab! With a full belt! No head voice and falsetto! What?! I told them even I couldn't do that!

Seeing them proud of themselves made me proud. I know I sit in a very privileged position to be able to hear stories on how their past experience has shaped them today.

This is the most fulfilling part of my job, because I get to impact people's lives and see them grow until they are ready to take the stage on their own.

B will definitely do well and I hope they get into Berklee!

[stanleyisworking]

SOMA Pt. 1: Student Profile - A

The next two posts will be summaries of my teaching at School of Music and Arts (SOMA). I have been a part-time freelance vocal coach at SOMA for a while now and decided to integrate my experience into this blog.

I will be focusing on two specific students of mine, A and B - their full identities are retracted to protect their privacy.

These are students that have been under my tutelage for more than six months and I will be summarizing my experience working with these talented young voices.

Before that, take a look at this webpage! It's the first time I see myself on a music school's website and I feel so proud of myself!

Now, let's get to know my first student - "A"!

A's mother reached out to SOMA for vocal lessons as she wanted to prepare her child for DSA into SOTA after she was done with primary school.

My first lesson with her kid blew me away.

A was able to match pitches perfectly and recreate the kind of vocal tone quality I wanted, just by me describing how it sounded like.

During the first song work, A also had good awareness of lyrical analysis and sang the chosen piece with appropriate emotion and dynamics.

I knew I might be seeing a child prodigy in the making and I asked their mother what age did she started them on music lessons - I was told they started piano when they were super young!

The mother was determined to get her into a school specializing in the arts and I could tell A was equally as passionate about singing as they sounded.

They were one of the easier kids to teach throughout my career so far, but we did still encounter a few roadblocks along the way.

Problems:

1. Our lessons were very target-focused. I had to meet the goal of the parent, while at the same time, ensuring that A does not lose their passion for music and singing. We were preparing for LCM Pop Vocals examination as well to aid their experience in auditioning for SOTA when the time comes.

2. A, like any other kid I have worked with in the past, has limiting beliefs about themselves sometimes and would hesistate to learn harder materials or reach notes beyond their usual range. Even though I knew their capability was more than they had demostrated, I had to find a way to impart self-confidence. I believe the voice is the most complicated instruments in the world, since it can be gravely affected by mindset and mental roadblocks, and it's an instrument that cannot be seen or played physically. A lot of body and mind awareness was needed.

Solutions:

1. Thankfully, preparing for vocal exams does not have to be stressful. I made sure I consulted A on their favorite kind of music, the artist they look up to these days (why was I not surprise to hear Taylor Swift?), and came up with a lesson plan that was fun and engaging, incorporating songs they would enjoy singing while at the same time honing the techniques and scales necessary to pass their LCM exam.

2. I gave a lot of positive affirmations as the weeks passed by. However, it was important that I affirm for effort rather than results. For example, when A was too afraid to hit a note because it sounded too high to them, I would reassure them that if the note doesn't happen, it's okay and what's the worst thing that could happen? This way of talking to them usually made things less scary in their head and I made sure to stuck to my words.

So, even if their voice cracked at an E4, we laughed it off and I would tell them I was very proud of them for trying.

This was a technique I researched about encouraging learners by growth mindset versus fixed mindset. A fixed mindset would mean educators reward based on results, and this would cause students to be hyper-focused on the end point rather than the journey. I wanted my classroom to be all about the process rather than goal. I felt it was important to set this tone early when A was still young and was in a very stressful governmental school system.

In other news, guess what happened a week ago!

After months of building rapport with A, encouraging them and developing their confidence, they passed LCM Pop Vocals (Grade 2) with flying colors! Distinction!

Their mother sent me this photo of the certificate and even a video of A opening it up and seeing the word "Distinction" for the first time - they were jumping in joy and this week, A came into my classroom with a newfound confidence.

I'm glad I got to be a part of A's journey and see them grow week after week. They will go on to do great things in the future!

[stanleyisworking]

Rituals Pt. 4: Show Day and Wrap Up!

We made it to show day!

Here's a photograph of my Singapore teammates, hogging the dressing room mirror with our matching white and black outfits to represent "Ritual".

And here are some photos of our final performance!

Group 3 survived the journey!

I had the opportunity to watch the other groups present their piece too, it was fun to see how different our ideas were even though we all had the same theme, but the way we utilized the space was very different. A group made use of narration and storytelling more than the others, while another group had an interesting take on moving together along the space while staying connected telematically.

Overall, this was a heartwarming end to the two weeks. Also, check out this cute drawn picture of all of the students who were in Singapore for this project!

I don't think I will forget the memories I made with everyone during this time. We had our disagreements during the working stages, but we also enjoyed ourselves super well whenever school was over and we were hunting for the best food around town. Side note, I got the chance to show some of the international students a good spot at Newton Food Centre and I think I very much achieved my goal of letting them feel as welcomed as possible in Singapore!

We still keep in touch through instagram and I am happy they are doing well in their studies.

Every project comes with it's own difficulties, especially a project like this where it's culturally diverse and we had to deal with technical issues from time to time, staying connected countries apart. However, once the focus moved away from the end product and more on the collaborative process and exploring what we can create out of this short timeframe, it was highly enjoyable.

What can I take away from this?

Patience, willingness to adapt, trusting the process, and most definitely - communicating!

I would participate in a Teletopia project again in a heartbeat!

[stanleyisworking]

Rituals Pt. 3: Devising Ideas, Maneuvering Personalities in Groups, Breaking Apart before Show Day?!

(Daily meetings with the students from Zurich and Taipei)

This post will touch upon a specific issue I faced throughout my time participating in Rituals in Teletopia.

I was well aware that when it comes to putting together any project, be it a performance or a product, there would always be disagreements and conflicts that needed to be ironed out.

We were split into a group of four for the final performance.

I was in group 3. We had three students from Singapore including me and three from Zurich, two from Taipei. Hence, there was a total of eight of us representing Group 3. We were to come up with a short 10-15 minutes performance piece based on the theme of "Rituals" in this telematic space over the next few days, leading to a showcase.

We were given time each day to meet in the space through the huge screens, and also out of the space through setting our own virtual meetings as we saw fit.

Problem: The first day of meeting our team on a WhatsApp call, we struggled with one major issue: deciding on what to perform.

My team in Singapore had one idea, and Zurich had another, and Taipei had another as well.

I am usually the type to observe the situation first and try my best to mediate, always making sure everyone is happy, but to be honest, I had to accept I cannot satisfy everyone and that was a hard pill to swallow.

I would say, my team was the one pushing for ideas, and I could tell Zurich was not on the same page, but because of our different communication styles, it was difficult to ask them what they needed. I would usually be straightforward and ask "What would you like to achieve with this performance?" but perhaps due to language barrier, or hesitation and reservation, it was hard to get a clear answer from our teammates from the other countries.

This led to us trying multiple ideas and tossing them, and we were running out of time as the days went by. Every meeting felt like we had gotten nowhere and I was starting not to understand our performance myself.

I came up with a solution and ran it through my teammates here in Singapore first.

I said maybe we could let the other countries lead the meeting sessions, we should listen and see if we can find out what they hope to achieve, because we needed to work together as a team and not put feelings into our ideas - yes, we had great ideas, but I was sure they had a lot of good ones too that they were probably holding back from. Perhaps we had given them too strong of a "commanding" impression and it would be wise to open the conversation a bit more.

This worked for a while, but subsequently, the performance was still not progressing and I was increasingly getting panicky.

I had to remind myself to calm down. What's the worst that could happen? We perform something that no one understands? That's fine. Maybe it was okay to shift the goal towards how we work together as a team, instead of the final product.

Problem: I was going to share this mindset with my teammates, but we got hit with a disappointing feedback from one of the lecturers in Zurich one day before our showcase.

We were told that our teammates from Zurich felt like they were here only to satisfy our requirements and they had not been given the chance to participate in the collaborative nature of our work.

I was taken aback when I heard that feedback. To me, I thought we had tried our best to give each other time to share and speak, and I had tried to make sure everyone had their say - but I did not know that our teammates from Zurich were feeling excluded to this extent.

My teammates from Singapore had gotten angry at this point, but I was trying to problem solve as we only had one day before the show!

I quickly gathered everyone on a WhatsApp call - both Taiwan, Zurich, and Singapore. Group 3 would make it through this!

This time, I started the call with an apology. My teammates looked at me in disbelief and I understood that, because they felt like they had been misunderstood, and that we had nothing to apologize for, but I wanted to open the conversation with empathy and find out what was actually going on with Zurich. My goal was to let them know we were in this together and whatever they had in mind, we were willing to listen.

We sorted it out soon after, although I wished that we had this conversation earlier before a lecturer had to tell us about it. This made me realized the importance of noticing different communication styles and how offering a listening ear can go a long way.

All of us in Group 3 decided to do our best for the final showcase. We decided to let go of things we couldn't control and focus on what we already had and could continue to polish. As a constant mediator, I was getting increasingly tired everyday trying to maneuver different personalities in our groups and their different views. My strength has always been my empathetic nature, and I take pride in being able to see everyone's point of view. However, sometimes, that could lead to being burnt out from trying to find the one perfect solution to keep everyone happy.

Learning that there is no one solution that can make everyone happy is something that I am still struggling with today. I do not see that as a bad thing, though. However, I am definitely more aware of how to manage it now after this experience.

Let go, listen, open up the conversation, and let things happen accordingly. Also, people have different ways of communicating and it would be better if I could sense out their communication style earlier, so I can mirror their comfort level and communicate accordingly.

Now that the conflict has been settled, I am excited for the next post. Finally, show day and wrap up!

[stanleyisworking]

Rituals Pt. 2: Interesting Workshops

Throughout the next few days, we had a lot of opportunities to bond with each other. The most memorable one was our warm-up games at the start of each day. Or, also known as, theatre games!

The above video was one of the games we got used to playing, thanks to our very energetic trainer who was a lecturer for the acting students in LASALLE. This specific game was called "Zip Zap Boing". It was a game where we stood in a circle and had to actively focus on what was being called out and which direction the game was heading towards.

It was highly effective in bringing us together. As I was playing it day to day, my observations were:

Interaction in big groups is always tough. There are bound to be people who are shy or preferred interacting with people from similar backgrounds. However, games like these force all of us to interact with one another and work as a team, or else the game cannot be completed. Everyone was hyper-focused on each other and started to discover one another's personality through how they maneuvered the game, rather than talking.

The energy our trainer gave was brilliant. I consider myself an awkward person, but he started each day with silly warm-ups that made us all look silly! If everyone was silly, then I did not need to be afraid of being silly as well. I am sure the rest felt his energy as well and eased into it gradually.

There was a specific game, not shown in the video above, where we had to walk in the space and call out a number each. The goal was to get to a specific number as a group, for example, "15", successfully. However, if two people called out the same number, the whole group had to reset and someone had to start counting from "1" again.

Imagine this: I was the first to count one, then someone counted two, but the next second, three other people said "three" at the same time and we had to restart back to one. This needed to happen concurrently as we were walking - we were not allowed to stop moving!

This game felt like it went on forever and I caught myself getting increasingly panicky - every time the number was 11, 12, 13, I was hoping no one would say a thing. I also had to listen out to people's patterns, who were the ones who were more likely to jump in and say a number first? Who were the ones who would wait? Who were the ones who only called one number and called it a day? I was eliminating in my head on when would be a good time to call out a number.

Eventually, we did reach 15 and everyone had huge sighs of relief. It got easier when we all caught on that it was safer to "shush" and wait for a while before calling out the next number. I think everyone eventually learned each other's patterns as well and once again, it was a fascinating team bonding experience to get us ready to start working together for the day ahead.

(Side note: We had the chance to "walk" together with students from the other locations as well, through telematic connection. The students and I over here joked that we would be walking our 10k steps in no time if this keeps up!)

However, walking while utilizing the telematic space was interesting. To me, it was a good sense of what could be achieved within the scope of our project. As I walked, I played around with distance to the camera and angles - how far can I go until the students from the other countries lose sight of me? And how close can I go until my eyes fill up their screen? That would look like a horror story on their side, to be honest. It gave me a bit of time to think about how my team and I could go about devising a performance.

Let's talk about workshops!

We had multiple workshops throughout the week ranging from sound design to video editing to, in my opinion, the most memorable one - sound walk! (Haha, more walking)

The idea of a sound walk was to go on a close-to-one-hour walk in silence. We were told to observe the sounds of the environment on this excursion as well.

I found it relaxing, albeit the scorching Singapore weather. It was rare that we had the opportunity to slow down our pace of life and listen to what was happening around us, rather than hyper-fixating on the tasks we had to accomplish or walking with our eyes glued to our devices.

I realized I have never taken a walk in silence for quite a long time. As a musician, wherever I am walking or commuting alone, I constantly have music playing in my ears.

I never thought of paying attention to the way the leaves crushed under my footsteps, or the way the wings of birds would flatter as I passed by.

It felt oddly therapeutic and was a much-needed respite.

Because of the sound walk, I thought to myself perhaps incorporating silence in my performance would be just as effective as dramatic noise.

That is not to say I did not enjoy the other workshops! Here are some pictures from the briefly mentioned sound design workshop.

Timothy (LASALLE BA Acting) using a Piezoth device to pick up sound from Danu's (LASALLE Diploma in Design Communications) jacket.

This was a series of hilarious discoveries. Have you ever wondered what sounds your clothes made? I found out through this workshop that day. It was interesting to hear how, when amplified, the sound was similar to things we had already heard before - thunder rumbling, wind, waves, etc. Very useful for performance devising once again!

Our Piezoth device and mini speakers.

Danu using the Piezoth device to amplify Iryna's (Zurich, Classical Music) vibrations from her instrument.

Overall, the series of workshops were to equip us with different types of ideas for our final performance. I wish we had more of it, to be honest!

I will be moving on to the big topic in my next post: "Oh no" moments and the struggles I faced working together in a team with many different ideas, views, and communication styles.

[stanleyisworking]

Rituals Pt. 1: Beginnings

These next few posts will touch upon "Rituals in Teletopia" - a collaborative project featuring students from LASALLE College of the Arts, Taipei National University of the Arts, Zurich University of the Arts, City University of Hong Kong, and Tokyo University of the Arts.

Above promotial image acquired from LASALLE College of the Art's official website.

I first signed up for this project when I read through the invitation email. I knew someone who had done a similar project before the past year, so I checked on her past experience before deciding to apply - since the word "Teletopia" was new to me, I did not know what I was getting into, but that made it all the more exciting. I thought it would be a good opportunity to widen my artistic practice and not limit myself to only doing music, similarly to how I took up teaching as a way to deepen my development. Ultimately, I thought this would be a good chance to discover what it means to be a performer when there were no specific labels such as singer, guitarist, or musician attached to it and I am very glad I participated in the end.

For now, I will break down my experience into smaller chunks, not exactly according to chronological order.

But of course, this first post will be about the first day of Rituals and the exciting new faces I got to meet!

Look at this space! I walked into the Creative Cube at LASALLE and was amazed at the amount of technology involved. We were about to be linked up with Zurich and Taipei for this project and the two huge screens would be how we communicated to each other throughout the two weeks.

A lot of unfamiliar faces were already waiting in the Creative Cube. I vaguely remembered some of them from the previous Zoom meeting we had, way before the project started. I went around shaking hands and introducing myself. There were students from Taipei, China, Japan, and Zurich! I've always been someone who loved meeting new people outside of Singapore, it's fascinating when you meet someone with an entirely different culture and worldview and you get the chance to learn a lot from them. I made a mental note to try and give them a positive experience here in Singapore and at LASALLE.

Sitting around with the new students, waiting for our first day to start.

The first day was fun. We got to know each other a little and I found two other LASALLE students as well - Timothy and Danu, who were from BA (Hons) Acting and Diploma in Design Communication respectively. They would soon go on to become my final teammates for the showcase, but I shall talk about that later.

The session started with presentations from both schools, Zurich and Taipei. We established what was the objective for this project and defined the idea of "Teletopia". By the way, do you see those other students on the screen? It still amazed me how we were able to sit together and wave at each other in real-time, almost as if we were in the same room. This concept of being in the "same space" while thousands of kilometers apart was one of the few defining points that we had to take into consideration when devising a piece for this project - how do we stay connected and engaged with each other using the current technology at hand? I had a few thoughts in my head so far.

Perhaps due to the pandemic, technologies such as video calls, Zoom, and remote work have become very prominent. However, it has never occurred to me that it was possible to utilize it as a platform to devise a performance with people from around the world.

I thought to myself that this would be a very interesting and eye-opening two weeks.

The majority of our first day was set aside to sit with each other and establish the goal ahead. I will move on to more exciting activities in the next post!

[stanleyisworking]

MOE Pt. 8: Wrap Up!

Finally! Those were all the entries I have revolving around my experience as a Music Teaching Intern at Admiralty Secondary School.

Of course, there were a lot more I wanted to fit in and I did not write in a day-to-day order or else I would ramble too much, but this experience has shaped me in more ways than I thought.

I was clearer on what I wanted out of my career.

While I have been teaching for a while, privately and now, in a governmental school, I don't think I can do it full-time and my first love will always be music and writing songs.

There were definitely a lot of "signature" moments that I would remember for a long time, though!

For now, here's a happy photo of me at my desk with my intern buddies Xing Yee and Germaine, taken on our last day at school!

The day prior to my last day in school, I also realized it would be the last time I got the chance to see a specific class - the class that student M was in. It was also my mentor's form class and the class I met during the very first day, the class that asked a bunch of awkward questions!

I had been so busy with juggling the lower secondary levels with music lessons that I was only briefly in and out of their classroom for morning period. I did not get a chance to say bye!

So, I texted my mentor and told her I wanted to say bye, but how? Of course she told me to film myself playing a Taylor Swift song again on the guitar and she will play it during lessons as a farewell video from me.

I spent all night filming it and this was the response at the end!

And with that...

Mr. Stanley is off! Let us get back to school and talk about the next exciting project I was involved in: Rituals in Teletopia!

[stanleyisworking]

MOE Pt. 7: Care Sessions, Talks with the Principal, Career Decisions

Image credit: The Manthan School, Greater Noida West

I joined a care session during one specific morning assembly period.

"Which student do you want to talk to?" my mentor asked.

"That one." I pointed at the kid with glasses, sitting the furthest away from his class' row. We were at the hall, getting ready for flag-raising ceremony and I saw that he was the only one reading a book out of all classmates. Hardworking! But also due to the fact I had encountered him a few times during my stint here and he was one of those that I could actually remember the name of, haha.

We sat down at the school cafeteria. My mentor, me, and this student named M. (Full name retracted for privacy reasons)

"Good morning!" I addressed him with a smile.

"Everything is fine." M said.

I was taken aback because I had not asked him how he was doing yet.

My mentor smiled and took over, "You've met Mr Stanley, right? He has been here for a while. We wanted to find out how you're doing so far."

"Everything is fine." The same response, he was smiling throughout though, it was not defensive.

"I'm glad everything is fine! Could you tell me more about it? What's going well so far?" I decided to probe further. My mentor was beside me and briefed me before the session, she was alright for me to take the lead.

He told me his results are good, he studies hard but makes sure to set aside time to relax as well. He is disciplined in his sleep schedule and values rest.

I was amazed, to be honest. I did not figure out these things when I was his age. I quickly realized the education system has come a long way from when I was in school ten years ago. Mental health has definitely become a priority, because he was talking about concepts like mindfulness, stress management, and things I've only gotten to learn later in life.

My mentor chimed in with an unexpected question, "Are you involved in any relationships?"

He laughed and did not answer the question.

Of course, relationships! These were teenagers and this is that period in their life where it would be important to openly discuss it, in case it was unhealthy or affecting their education. I let my mentor take the lead in this topic and listened attentively.

Overall, the care session went well. This student was genuinely happy about his progress in school and shared with me his goals for the future. I wished him (and his relationship) the best, too!

The next part of this post will be about my meeting with Mr. Lam, the principal of Admiralty Secondary School.

It was almost the end of my internship period at this point and the purpose of this internship was so I could consider a career in teaching with MOE. Oh, by the way, the names above? Germaine and Xing Yee were my intern buddies! They were from NUS/NTU respectively and I won't forget the bond we've formed (hint: all the mini-meltdown sessions we shared during our initial adjustment periods)

Mr. Lam had a few questions for me, whether this was something I could consider myself doing long-term and whether I enjoyed the experience so far.

I told him this school had one of the most passionate teachers ever. All the teachers treated me as if I was one of their long-time colleagues. The senior teachers were like mothers and made sure I was not too burnt out and gave me tips on what they wished they had figured out when they were starting this career at my age.

I told him honestly that at this point, I wanted to explore music further. My concern was that music is not seen as a core module in a lot of governmental schools and there was only so much I could do when my subject is not deemed as necessary.

Mr. Lam agreed with this and told me something I still remember today. "You have to ask yourself how much you are willing to let go of music."

The duties of an MOE teacher lies beyond teaching. A lot of it is about teaching values and building a child's confidence and character in society. Being someone who values mental health and a highly sensitive empath, I know I would be a good teacher, but I also knew I would be the type to burn out easily because I would care about my students a lot more than myself. Gradually, I would not have the mental capacity to pursue my art either and that would make me sad.

I declined the invitation to apply for the MOE scholarship and thanked him a ton for cultivating such a positive school environment. I wished I had such a loving principal and teachers when I was in school!

[stanleyisworking]

MOE Pt. 6: Department Meetings

As part of the internship program, my duties were not only to conduct lessons, but I was attending department meetings and further training as well.

I will take a step away from writing about the teaching aspect, as my day-to-day routine has now become more or less stable. Sometimes the occasional "Oh no" moment would happen in the classroom - for example, a student threw his guitar on the table and challenged me, but I chose to walk away and carry on delivering the lesson. I have met a few "ringleader" students and my colleagues often whispered to me about them in the staff room, telling me to watch out for a specific student and how to handle them better, but I choose not to box them in a specific category and it was not in my domain to handle disciplinary measures, so often times, I would try to keep a distance as much as possible unless it was disruptive and I had to find out who their form teacher was.

Thankfully, none of that happened! Usually, ignoring their outburst was good enough because according to my research, children often act out if they want you to pay attention to them. I remember I did that a few times in my early years as well. In my opinion, my way has always been to not give them what they are looking for, only when they deserve it and have put in the work.

Onto department meetings!

A close observation during every meeting led me to realize one thing: teachers are human and they genuinely want the best for their students.

Each department from each subject had its meetings to go through students' performance, challenges, guidelines for setting exam papers, what they can do to manage lower-performing classes, etc.

Earlier, my mentor told me "Uh, Stanley... would you be okay to sit in the science department meeting? Music is like... there's only two of us today, so."

I wasn't surprised. I got a rough idea of how music was not deemed as a core subject in the MOE syllabus throughout my time here so far, and my school did not offer O level music, so there weren't much meetings involved.

I spent my time accompanying my mentor wherever she needed me - science meetings were one of them.

The science department had one of the most passionate teachers I had ever seen. They came in super prepared, slides on their laptop, focused on their agenda and asked relevant questions to their colleagues around the table. I felt a bit awkward sitting around that table because they were talking about how to better deliver topics like atoms and I only knew how to tell them about triads.

However, the content they were discussing itself did not matter. It was the lesson delivery that I felt could be applied to any subject. Apparently, a lot of analogies are used in teaching. Explaining difficult concepts using day-to-day scenarios or facts. I took some of these concepts and wrote it in my diary to use in my music lessons in the future.

After the meetings, I grew curious about how the teachers managed student's welfare instead. I had a brief conversation with my mentor regarding this and she mentioned the system now is very aware of mental health, and this school has "care sessions" - during which, form teachers will pick a few students to talk to them one-on-one during the morning assembly period. I asked if I could join these sessions and she said yes.

[stanleyisworking]

MOE Pt. 5: Lower Secondary Music Classes - Again, but Guitar!

At this point, I was slowly easing into my role as a Music Teaching Intern at Admiralty Secondary School.

I got used to waking up at 5.30am and heading out the door before anyone else.

I got used to making small talk with the bubbly senior teacher sitting beside my desk, listening to her share about the extra duties she has to juggle besides teaching, and her motherly nature of constantly telling me to eat because I packed my schedule more and more each day.

I got used to walking around the school corridors with my head held high, coming into my role as a teacher and not a student.

The kids have gotten used to my presence around campus as well and some of them have started to greet me in the hallways. Hearing "Goodmorning Mr Stanley!" feels kind of sweet.

Here are more photos from different days of teaching keyboard skills!

On a side note, remember Teacher W's class? The class that I felt would be challenging to build a rapport with?

After the first few times of consistently trying out the communication technique I mentioned, they started to open up to me as well. I would make a whole separate post about it, but I would probably go on and on.

To sum up, even though they were classified as the "rowdier" and "unmotivated" class by the teachers, I grew fond of them. While I went through my routine of joining their english/literature lessons and sitting at the back, some of them asked me on what a certain word meant - and I was flattered they trusted me enough to provide them english tips when they knew I was only here as a music teacher. When I identified a problem kid, I asked him to sit behind me at the back of the class and we took a look at the english worksheet together. This made them extra motivated, I guess due to the special attention I was paying to them - and their form teacher, Teacher W, did not mind at all and allowed me to integrate myself into her class however I felt fit.

This goes to show that every kid wants to learn.

In my opinion, the joy of learning needs to be cultivated rather than forced - and my approach throughout the past few days was to get to know them genuinely, rather than ask them questions about their studies or give them a specific agenda to accomplish. Of course, this was easier because they were not the kids I took for music and I did not have to push a specific lesson plan. Even so, I believe genuine conversations with students will always be helpful in their education journey. I am proud of Teacher W's class and wish them the best in their N levels!

Moving on, this post will re-focus on my efforts in conducting the classes I was tasked to teach.

Previously, I wrote about teaching keyboard skills to lower secondary levels. In this post, I will be focusing on guitar lessons instead. To clarify, keyboard skills were for Secondary 1 and guitar were for Secondary 2. Hence, this would be a whole different batch of Secondary 2 students that I have yet to meet.

One sentence summary? "My mentor threw me on the spot to give an impromptu performance."

And that was how I introduced myself to the new batch of students.

Honestly, even though I consider myself a trained performer, performing in a formal classroom setting for kids who might think you're too old or too "cringe" made me so nervous. I panicked and picked the most (hopefully) well-known song from Taylor Swift. Everyone loves Taylor Swift, right? I hope so!

When I captured their attention with "Blank Space", I quickly switched to "Love Story" and the kids started laughing. Laughter was a good sign, I thought to myself. It meant they recognized the song!

In the end, it wasn't so bad. The kids were now interested in what they could potentially do with the guitar and I caught onto why my mentor told me to perform for them first as a self-introduction.

The excitement afterward was great, though! A lot of the boys were lining up to get me to help tune their guitars so they could hurry up and play, and the girls were more reserved and shy, but asked my mentor for the same assistance as well.

Guitar lessons were off to a good start!

However, there were a few problems.

As the lesson progressed and I went through my slides of the day, I realized their initial motivation started to wane.

"So many chords to learn."

"I don't want to learn this song!"

"It's too painful."

Were a lot of the comments I heard and I had to bring back order in the classroom a few times. I have learned from my private teaching experience that kids tend to want the fastest way and easiest way to learn things, and they might give up quickly if they don't see results or realize how much effort they need to put in. Especially for music, not everyone was as passionate about it. I had to put myself in their shoes that music to a lot of them was just a form of entertainment and they had bigger problems to worry about such as their math exam.

How do I make this easier for them while still achieving my lesson objectives? I needed to make it through the slides that my mentor handed over to me. We needed to cover at least a few chords based on the syllabus, but they were already struggling with one.

Solutions:

Break it down even further. My principal study teacher at LASALLE, Dr Wong, would always break it down to the most minuscule detail - even if we had to repeat a word or vowel a few times. How can I translate this to guitar? Perhaps I could literally "break down" the class into groups? They were sitting in rows, so I could get one row to learn C, the other to learn G, so on and so forth until we could play a whole progression together.

There are a lot of ways to play the same chord. My mentor's examples on the slides are just one way. However, that might pose some confusion when I leave this school and my mentor has to resume teaching this class using her own chord voicings. It would be confusing for the students as well.

Once again, I only had a few seconds to think on my feet so I went with solution number 1.

I told the class we had a change of plans. I assigned each row to a single chord and made sure they knew what chord they were supposed to play and how.

My plan was to get a simple 4/4 down strum progression going throughout the classroom and they would achieve that by actively listening to the students' playing before their turn, and coming in when it was time for their row to play the next chord.

Shortly, Row A started with C for 8 bars successfully.

Then, Row B came in at the 9th bar to play G.

Finally, we have something going on! This was working.

I kept time by counting out loud and letting them know which chord was coming up next so they were always engaged and paying attention. My mentor assisted me in helping the ones around the class who were still struggling with their assigned chord - whether this was a fingering issue, or technique, etc.

I got through the end of the day by teaching 4 basic chords to this class. Of course, each row only learned one, but they could now hear a standard pop progression in their head and I counted that as a victory.

My mentor was happy as well! The only thing she had to add was "Stanley, I'm guilty of this too, but... next time, don't stand in one spot for too long! You lost some people on the side of the room."

I laughed cheekily and said I would keep that in mind next time. What a long and fulfilling day!

[stanleyisworking]

MOE Pt. 4: Lower Secondary Music Classes

The next day, I had back-to-back music classes with the lower secondary levels. There were about 6-7 classes of lower secondary and I only took half, but I was already overwhelmed.

Lower secondary meant that they were aged 13-14. The previous two classes I wrote about were older, 16-17. Even though it was only a few years of difference, the maturity levels were on polar opposites.

I received my first lesson plan the night before. My mentor sending it at 1am made me concerned for her work-life balance, but I read through the slides and established that this term, they would only be focused on triads and learning everything in C major.

The content was easy, but the delivery was a different story.

Big Problem:

The class pictured above was my first lower secondary class. Immediately, we had to stop and start the lesson several times because of disciplinary issues. The non-stop chatter and the dragging of chairs, kicking of tables, losing focus - all these were present within the first five minutes of me introducing myself.

Smiling at them and using my usual approach of building rapport would not work with these kids. My mentor had to step in a few times and raised her voice. I soon realized how firm I needed to be in order teach at a lower secondary level.

However, my personality has never been the type to be disciplinary or angry at kids. My mentor pulled it off quite well because she is a mother, but I am a soft-hearted person and cannot bring myself to tell off children.

This quickly backfired and they were, not in the literal sense, "climbing over my head".

A lot of them were slamming the keyboard while I was talking, and some of them would not stop chattering to their classmates and treating music lessons as a "hang out" period. My mentor tried not to step in and I appreciated that, because this was another challenge that I needed to quickly tackle.

There were a few solutions in my head:

Should I just keep quiet? None of them were interested in the content and they were constantly talking over me. It was my first lesson with them and it was also their first time seeing me. I have not gained the respect of these kids.

Should I follow my mentor's approach and "scream" at them? Enforcing a bit more sternness and discipline? However, would I be able to carry on this persona whenever I teach this class? I still had weeks to go in this school. I had to pick a teaching style that would be sustainable for me and consistent for the students. If I was a soft person one day, and fierce the next, it would be hard to build rapport and gain respect. So far, my mentor was consistently firm in all her classes and that reputation worked for her.

I went with option number 1 as I felt like that would not drain me out and was true to my personality.

They talked over me again and I stopped.

The chatter died down when a few of them realized the teacher was no longer teaching.

I was relieved that my plan was working. I did not have to raise my voice and pretend to be fierce when I was not, and staying silent was easier.

I would rinse and repeat this method. Whenever we got some progress in the lesson content and the class would be disruptive again, I would take a step back, shush myself, and waited.

Soon, I established my teaching style and it was clear to them what kind of teacher I was. We got to the point where they were listening intently, just like in the picture above!

The rest of the lower secondary classes were mainly the same. Kids would be rowdy as usual and my rinse and repeat method of staying silent to capture their attention worked.

I would say this was a victory and I am proud of myself for problem-solving quickly on the spot - however, this definitely was made easier due to my past experience with teaching kids privately in the past, where I have tried multiple methods, did my research on other teacher's methods, and devised a few that worked for me.

[stanleyisworking]

MOE Pt. 3: Dealing with Rebellious and Unmotivated Students

The moment I walked into Teacher W's classroom, it was a whole different environment. Chairs were left unturned and litters were left on the floor. Students were playing mobile games openly at the back while some were taking a nap. When I informed my mentor I was going to Teacher W's class so I could gain a different perspective, she only left me with a "good, then you can see the difference." and I did not know what she meant until I stepped in.

If I thought being asked funny questions by my mentor's form class was awkward, Teacher W's classroom posed a different set of challenges.

They were unmotivated, rebellious, and did not have much care for school.

When I introduced myself, instead of engaging and asking me questions, they did not care what I did, where I came from, or what I taught. Honestly, as an anxious person, this felt like being thrown into a freezer.

The moment I noticed their disinterest in me when I finished introducing myself, I took a second to recompose myself, smiled, and found a seat at the back of the classroom.

I spent the next hour observing Teacher W conducting her literature lesson, but most of my observations were not on her teaching style but on the students.

At this point, there were a couple of thoughts in my head.

This class will be harder to build a rapport with during my time here. I can choose to stick to my mentor's class, or I can choose to commit to this class too. Will I be able to juggle?

I found my answer quickly, though.

I welcomed the challenge and set a goal to gradually build my reputation up with this class. From what I have observed so far, they are known as a "Normal Technical" class - the lower performing batch of students in the school. At least, that's what they are classified as under the MOE system. However, I have always disliked that classification and while I have my views and biases on why we should incorporate different methods when it comes to classifying student's abilities, I accepted the problem given to me and decided to work around it.

I implemented my strategy of gradually building rapport by:

During breaks in lessons and with Teacher W's approval, I subtly went around the classroom and tried to create small talk with the students. For example, when I saw a group of boys playing video games on their mobile phones, I approached them with a curious smile and asked what were they playing. They were anxious and afraid at first and their reflexes quickly caused them to shut their phone off, but I said, "I'm not going to take away your phone, just wanted to know what you play because I like games too." This caused their faces to light up and they showed me the current popular football manager sim that I had no knowledge on, but I tried to match their enthusiasm and asked them more questions on the rules of the game, how it works, where can I download it, etc.

On the other end of the classroom, I noticed a girl sleeping alone, her head on the table. I gently tapped her table and woke her up. She was avoiding my eyes and had a closed-off body language, so I assumed she felt bad for falling asleep. My approach to her was similar to the boys earlier. I smiled and asked her how was her sleep last night. She sighed and said it was bad, she couldn't get much sleep and things were keeping her up. I quickly empathized with her situation. As a student myself, the nights can get very draining if we stay up doing assignments or stressing about the things we need to achieve. I told her it was okay, get some rest. Teacher W definitely saw her sleeping and if she didn't comment on it, that means this isn't the first occurrence. I left it at that for now.

My motive for going around and checking in on the students with friendly conversation was to find a way to wiggle myself into their closed shell. This would take some time and I had to remind myself to be consistent in my approach, but not aggressive.

The best person to ask though, however, was Teacher W - since she had been their form teacher for a while.

After the classes were over, I asked Teacher W for some time in the office and found out more about her challenges with her class and how she felt about them. She told me she struggled with building rapport too and she asked if she did okay, based on my observations.

I was confused and answered, "They seemed to like you."

"Really? I can't tell at all and it's been two years" was her reply.

We both laughed.

Regardless, I had a rough idea on how to approach Teacher W's class now, but the next few days would prove to be rough. My mentor not only had her form class to teach, but up to 3-4 other classes for music as well scattered throughout the lower secondary levels. I spent the next few days mirroring her schedule and discovering the challenge of teaching multiple classes for music.

[stanleyisworking]

MOE Pt. 2: My First Day at Admiralty Secondary School (Mr. Stanley? Mr. Seet?! Teacher Stanley?!)

My alarm rang at 5.30am yet again. At this point, I only had 4 hours of sleep during the night. But who could sleep when it was going to be the first day in a brand new environment and a brand new job?

The imposter syndrome set in again the moment I walked through the gates.

Students in uniform were trailing in, their faces full of reluctance.

I remember how that felt like. I was never the type to enjoy school. Rather, I disliked it and felt restricted by it. Stepping onto the school grounds as an adult (I hope) felt oddly liberating. Students bowed their heads to greet me as they walked past and I hardly knew how to react. Half of me still thought I was a teenager just like them, but I tried my best to smile and greet them a very good morning - quickly settling into my role as the new music teacher.

But of course, I couldn't settle into the role without meeting my mentor first!

The instruction given to me was to wait for my mentor outside her classroom. Her form class was a current Secondary 4 Express level of students. As you all know, I tend to blow up everything in my head, so when I heard "Secondary 4 Express" I thought to myself "This is going to be fun..."

They were one of the oldest kids in school at the perfect age for teenage angst, how bad could it be?

Okay, to be honest... it wasn't that bad. Half of them were just half asleep and disinterested.

However, all that changed when I finished my self-introduction and my mentor (aka their form teacher), directed the class to quiz me on anything they wished to know about me. I was stunned!

"Mr. Stanley, do you play video games?"

"Mr. Stanley, do you do your eyebrows? They look very neat."

"Mr. Stanley, what skincare do you use? Why is your skin so glowy?"

I was not prepared for that kind of questions in front of the whole class - not even the MOE training prior to this prepared me for it!

As someone with an overthinking personality, this was the one time my overthinking helped me. I was quick on my feet to dissolve the situation before questions got too personal. Teenagers are often curious and when they see someone new in the classroom, I assumed they wanted to "capture" the new teacher's personality and see how much they can push.

"Yes, I do play games in my spare time. But I won't tell you which one or else you might try to play with me."

"Yes, I do trim my brows. It's important to keep a professional image when you're out in the industry."

"I apply moisturizer because my skin gets dry."

I answered all the questions in a matter-of-fact tone and eventually, they realized they couldn't probe any more personal matters out of me, so they gave up. Victory!

I was panicking on the inside. Being interrogated in front of the classroom by a bunch of teenagers was not on my agenda for my first day, but I would say I handled that very professionally and my mentor did not need to step in.

Anyways, shortly after, my mentor asked if I wanted to give some encouraging words to her students since they are supposed to sit for their GCE O levels this year.

I borrowed her marker and gave a simple talk on it's not about "I cannot do it" but rather, it's "I cannot do it yet." (Growth Mindset)

That was what I was writing on the whiteboard in the picture above!

I left that classroom that morning with a sense of accomplishment, excited for the afternoon ahead.

I finally had time to sit down after a busy day walking around the staff room, introducing myself to the teachers and the department heads. Oh, and, the hash brown above was a treat from my mentor after the busy morning - there is a glimpse of my schedule on the desk.

Funnily enough, at this point, I felt like a broken record all morning. "Hi! Nice to meet you, I'm Stanley, the new music teaching assistant!" for about a hundred times, asking the teachers what they teach, how their day has been, etc - walking to every desk and saying hello.

The reason why I decided to do that, even though it may come across as too enthusiastic, is because I needed to quickly know faces and have a sense of the culture at this school that I am posted in.

I quickly got a sense of where I should not misstep in terms of office politics, which teachers were more willing to assist me, and which were the ones who'd rather be left alone.

For the sake of privacy, I will address her as Teacher W. Teacher W immediately welcomed me when I did my rounds around school and I found out she was a literature teacher. Even though she was not my mentor for this internship, she welcomed me to sit in her classes whenever I liked and I was excited to get a chance to observe a class outside of my assigned subject!

One problem - now my schedule was really packed. I was running from class to class for the rest of the day because I had to fulfill my duties at my mentor's music period and join Teacher W at hers shortly after. I'm still glad I took up the opportunity. Teacher W's class was a whole different ballgame and offered me a new set of challenges that I will describe in the next post.

[stanleyisworking]

MOE Pt. 1: Training Before School Deployment

I have not woken up at 5am in the morning for a very, very, long time.

During the semester break, I received an opportunity from MOE to intern as a music teaching assistant. I said yes and started the process of getting myself on board the internship program.

Prior to my first day on the job, there were compulsory training and crash courses on MOE's teaching values that I had to attend, held at Academy for School Teachers.

It was eye-opening to be sitting in the lecture hall with undergrads from different universities in Singapore. During the training period, I had the opportunity to meet many different undergrads from different universities and courses. To be honest, I quickly felt like an imposter as everyone was super smart and knowledgeable in their area of study. It made me realize that I have been kept in a shell for the past few years. LASALLE is a place filled with musicians who are good at what they do, but I was thrown in a room filled with people who could write research after research and get into heated debates with each other.

I met people from social sciences, maths, physics, literature - and they all had the same wide-eyed reaction when I told them I was from LASALLE and that my major is pop music. Nonetheless, I was determined to make new connections. I believed that if I was selected to be in this room, then there was a good reason and that I was as equally as capable as the rest.

By the end of the three days of our intensive training period, I can confidently say that I've made some new friends who I know would go on to become amazing teachers at MOE.

Remember the imposter syndrome I felt before?

Eventually, I had the chance to get into a debate with someone from NUS in front of the training lecture hall on higher-learning students' perceptions of lower-performing classmates. We were shooting each other down back and forth and it was exhilarating yet respectable and friendly. I was put into that situation by our hilarious trainer who was an ex-principal, but it gave me the much-needed confidence boost and I learned a lot from sharing with the other student. The way they carried themselves was oozing with confidence and knowledge, and I quickly got a rough idea on what a teacher in MOE should be like.

Now that the training period was over, let's get deployed to school!

[stanleyisworking]

Introduction

Hi! My name is Stanley :)

This blog will serve as a reflection diary for my internship adventures during the summer break.

Throughout the semester break, I have been attached to a local secondary school as a music teaching intern and dabbled in one-on-one coaching at SOMA for pop vocals. Furthermore, as the semester begins and my schedule is back to full force, I am excited to share about Rituals in Teletopia, a collaboration between LASALLE College of the Arts, Taipei National University of the Arts, Zurich University of the Arts, City University of Hong Kong, and Tokyo University of the Arts.. These are the three main opportunities I will be reflecting on in this blog and how it has shaped me to become ready for the industry ahead.

The following blog entries will not necessarily be in chronological order or on a day-to-day reflection format, as these opportunities happened at different stages of my internship experience. Rather, these entries will highlight overall problems I have encountered and solutions I have found, with bits and pieces of reflection scattered.

I have had an amazing summer and saying yes to every opportunity I could get has benefited my growth and confidence as a musician. Which, in turn, has given me much-needed clarity and perspective on what I'd like to do moving forward.

Without trailing further, I hope you'll enjoy reading these entries!