#the popcorn flying lives rent free in my head

[dorkorder]

a list of comfort wrestlers — danhausen

[cosmiclatte28]

Comfort (Yuta x you)

a/n : WAIST has gotten a lot of love! Thank you everyone..and this is just another scenario similar to that one. Sorry for being away and unable to post stories as frequent as before, I was caught up with hws and tests. plus my finals are coming. 

So, here is another domestic Yuta... to the Yuta fanfic lovers out there I know @yutahoes @ailoveyuta @2-3-t-i

It's stressful. February is the shortest month of the year, yet it is the most frustrating one, at least for you.

Midterm has just ended and you're drained to the point where you've been lacking sleeps just to finish reading all the chapters, stay awake with coffees to concentrate on the test, and totally holding your scream back when the test ended and the score was not satisfying.

You were even more tired when the materials you read during your sleeping schedule did not make it to the questions.

You thought once the paper is turned over, you can just fly home and jump on your bed to sleep.

No, you have to finish some more labs, homework’s, and finals are coming!

You have been laying down on the sofa, face down on your belly. You did not hear it when the door clicks, and your boyfriend comes to visit you.

"Oh? Nani?" Yuta asks to himself when he steps into the not so tidy room. He knows this small studio room you rent by heart. He always love how you're able to keep the small area clean and tidy the room well to make it spacious. But not today, he's surprised to find your scattered papers and books on the dining table and the study table. Your laptop is still on, and the living room table is messy with some clothes.

Yuta walks silently to the pantry, checking on your trash and refrigerator to check if you've been eating well or not.

His guess was right, you did not eat properly. His eyes scan through the highlighted textbook pages and your neat notes. Yuta sighs as he calmly puts his phone down and begins sorting your notes and piling them up into one stack.

He sees you on the sofa, looking lifeless. You must be asleep, or else you'd already bombarded him with the story of your hectic week.

Yuta just smile when he remembers how he used to work hard like you back then in high school days. Right now, he is an idol and his training is different than yours. He didn't have papers this much, but he is also working as hard as regular students.

Yuta continues his journey to the living room, cleaning up the mess you made and gets on his knee to watch you sleep.

He pushes your hairs away and gasps when his fingers touch your moist warm cheeks and wet eyelashes.

You're crying in your sleep? Or you cried yourself to sleep?

He glances to the clock, it's past dinner already, somewhere around nine. Appropriate for bedtime considering you must've lacked sleep for the last week.

"(Y/n)~" Yuta softly whispers into your ear, then leans in to kiss your head slowly to wake you up.

You stir in your sleep and blink several times before peeking through your hairs to find your boyfriend already looking at you.

You yawn "Ah Yuta- you're-" you pause yawning again "-here."

You try to push yourself from laying down, but there's not much energy from you and you remain slumped on the chair.

Yuta just gives you a small smile before hoisting you up, so you're seated on the sofa properly.

He sits next to you, and you automatically lean to his side.

"How long have you been here?" Your question is still slurred, just like when people get up from sleep.

"Thirty minutes? You're deep asleep on the sofa. Didn't I tell you to sleep on the bed. You'll get sick if you sleep here." He rubs his hand lovingly through your long hair.

You snuggle closer to him and just hum.

Your emotion lately hasn’t been great, something super melancholy is running in your body. Was it the lack of sleep? Homesickness? Missing Yuta? Or just the pressure of performing well in class?

Yuta senses how the atmosphere is down. He regularly comes here to visit you to recharge himself by listening to your lively rants and gossips. It's something new to find you-the battery- to be this sad.

Yuta takes the queue that this is his time to take care of you.

"Are you okay?" He starts by asking you the simple question you always ask him.

You shake your head. Your body is already facing him, one of your leg is folded on the sofa while the other is dangling on the edge. Your arms have already hugged his slightly toned arm and your cheek is on his shoulder.

Yuta clicks his tongue and gently pulls you up his lap. You make yourself comfortable straddling him and lean your face to his chest.

Your small petite figure makes it super easy to fit fully into Yuta's body and you feel yourself calm down as you listen to his calm steady heartbeats.

"Mind to share?" He rakes his fingers through your hair while his other hand is secured around the small of your back. Just resting there to tell you, he is here, and you are safe with him.

You stay silent and remain frozen. You want to share, but you don’t know what’s making you feel this way.

Your eyes focus on the tiny fleece on Yuta’s sweater and your hand fumble with his soft sweater.

You lean into his warm embrace, exhaling all of your tension away and fall completely limp to him.

“I don’t know what is bothering me. Everything just-“ you pause, trying to find the right words, “pile up and suddenly I burst into tears and slept.” You pout, your finger begins to trace random lines on Yuta’s back when you feel his thumb starts grazing over your bare waist. Ah Yuta and his habit, you may be honest and admit you miss this feeling.

“Well, that was you not realizing you’re holding your emotion back too much because you’re too focused on something else.” The Japanese man in his calm deep voice whispers into your ear.

You hum once again and feel soft kisses on your shoulder.

Yuta knows he cannot get things out of your heart if you’re not willing to tell him, or like what you admit… you just don’t know which one is affecting you.

So, he sticks to his one and only way of comforting you, by staying with you and letting you know he is here for you.

His big hand moves from only holding your waist to hugging it and he brings his other free hand to your neck. Gently he pulls you closer to his warmth, you melt yourself into Yuta, into your comfort, your safe place, your home.

Inhaling his scent can already help you breathe better.

Feeling his touch makes you sure he is here and he won’t leave you.

Melting into his body, makes you smile at how perfectly fitting both of you are.

Having Yuta for yourself is like winning the lottery and you’re more than glad to exchange everything in this world for you to be with him again.

You just need Yuta, hugging you, tracing circles on your waist, breathing next to your ear, letting you listen to his heart beat, and kissing your shoulder bit by bit to make yourself feel better and ready.

Yes, ready for a new day, a new chance, a new page.

“Thank you for coming tonight.” you finally broke the comfortable silence.

You pull yourself away from his warmth, thinking that he must feel numb already keeping your body on top of his for almost an hour.

You’re like a koala hugging a tree for dear life!

Yuta smiles and you feel the night is no longer gloomy, not when you have your starry man here with you. He pushes your hair back to your ear and pecks your lips “You could always call me anytime! I’ll find my way back to you.”

You nod “I know, you’re one call away.” You smile, this time it is nothing forced. It’s a natural smile that always appear when you talk about Yuta.

He suddenly wraps your arms around his shoulder and places your legs over his waist. With one swift, he has you in the air hanging on his body.

“Now that you’re smiling already, your body is cold but your face is warm. You’ve skipped meals!” he scolds you as he walks to the kitchen with you on his body. You feel like a little kid getting scolded by their mother.

You blush “How am I warm and cold at the same time?”

He gets flustered at that question but shrugs it off “Your face is warm, I don’t want you to fall sick just because I let you sleep without a proper meal. Your fingertips are cold. How could you skip meals?” he puts you down on the chair and goes to check your food supply.

“Great, you just have eggs and oh ramen.” He picks up two packages and starts boiling the water.

“I’ll bring you to a proper meal tomorrow morning. No rejection or refutation, you need to be healthy despite being so engrossed in studying.”

You nod “Okay mom-“ you teasingly joke with him.

He giggles “You’re glad I am not your real mom, or I’d already whip you for not eating properly.”

“Actually, if you don’t mind… please accompany me to do grocery shopping tomorrow.” You glance to the empty kitchen racks. You usually have some snacks or popcorns ready, some booster drinks and fun candies. It’s all gone during test prep and you’re too tired to restock them, but now that you have Yuta who can help you carry the things up to the room… you might as well use his help right?

“I love you, Yuta.” You suddenly back hug him and press your cheek into his back. He was way taller, you cannot lean your chin on his shoulder, so this is cute enough.

Your eyes cannot leave how his strong body, but pretty figure looks perfect in an apron, cooking ramen.

He puts the fork down and turns his body to face you. He cups your face and kisses you softly “I love you too, now don’t go too hard on yourself okay? Always know that you have me and I will always be here for you (Y/n)~”

You nod “I am also always here for you, Yuta!”

end

thank you! cheer up and hold on :D tomorrow will be better :D

have a nice day/night

[spookyhalloweennights]

Long Distance Love (Zayne: sfw)

The buzz of your phone in your pocket had brought a smile to your face despite how stressful the day had been. You had a feeling you knew who it was as you pulled your phone free from the confines of your pocket, the screen illuminating around the edges to show the new messages that had come through. 

‘I can’t believe the last episode of the show! You had tricked me! You said it was a good ending! I hate it!’ 

Attached to the message was a bunch of the crying emojis, and you could only laugh at how ridiculous he was being. You took a moment or two before you actually responded to him, the red brick house you lived in coming into view as you finished your stroll around the neighborhood. The need to get out of the house was overwhelming so you had decided to take a walk to get some fresh air. 

‘I said it was a good ending, I didn’t say that you’d actually like it.’  You replied simply, attaching the emoji that had its tongue sticking out to the message before sending it off again. Instead of shoving it back into your pocket, you simply held it in your hand knowing that you would get a response shortly after. 

‘Fair point but still! Also are we still on for movie night?’ Came the next reply from him, you could only grin as the familiar feeling of a blush began to creep up your neck before settling across your features. 

‘Of course! Wouldn’t miss movie night for anything! I’ll be home in like two minutes and then I can get my computer setup!’ You were quick to reply, he merely responded with a thumbs up to the message. 

The pair of you had settled on the latest animated movie for your typical movie night, Zayne had actually suggested it and even went as far as to make sure he had it rented for the night despite you having a streaming app that would allow you to watch it. You had protested against him renting it, but he had merely dismissed it and told you that it was his turn to pay for date night anyway. 

Upon arriving at your front door, you had noticed a package that was left in front of it. Shoving your phone back into your pocket, you picked the package up and examined the label to see who it was from. A giddy smile was quick to make an appearance as you noted it was from Zayne. After having accepted his request for you to be his girlfriend, you had started receiving packages from him, of course you had sent some yourself in reply to his. Whether it was your favorite book, a shirt you’d think he’d like, a jar of notecards for him to open at different times… The list went on, opening your door you walked inside and shut it behind you, quick to make a beeline to your room. 

The fans of your computer whirred to life as you hit the power button, while it started you opened the package. A box of your favorite brand of popcorn was inside, some chocolates and sweets, but most importantly there was a new candle. Your other candle had finally reached the end of its life and you vaguely remember telling him about it the last time you two had spoken. 

Setting the box off to the side after settling on a sweet to munch on during the movie, you finally opened up the video app you used to stream movies on with him and talk. It took only a few more moments for it to fully load after you had logged on, clicking on his profile picture and then the call button. 

“Hello?” His voice came through, the old pair of headphones you were wearing muffling his voice a little. 

“Hey! I got your package!” You were quick to jump into the conversation, a grin on your face. “I love the candle, I’m surprised you remembered me mentioning it.” 

“You’d be surprised at what I remember that you tell me.” He chuckled, the movie showing up on your screen and beginning to play. You adjusted your audio settings so that you could hear him clearly while the movie played. “Like the time that you were at a friend’s house swimming and their dog had gotten hold of your bikini top strap and was pulling on it.”

“To be fair, it was pretty funny, terrifying at the time since the dog was pretty big. Well… At least about as big as me.” You explained with a laugh. A flutter of nerves rose up in you at the question you had been wanting to ask him for awhile now. 

“I have some vacation time coming up, I’ll be off for a week…” You began, the silence almost deafening from your usual banter and talks. “I was thinking I could get a plane ticket and fly out to visit you, if that’s okay with you?” You found the courage to finish the question, it had been months since the two of you had officially gotten together and you were dying to see him. 

The silence stretched on and the nervousness you had felt before began to amplify. “Zayne?” You asked, hoping for some sort of reply. 

“I..” Zayne had started but then seemed to pause as if he was looking for the right words to say. “I don’t think you’ll be impressed by what you see but… I’d be okay with it.” He responded, a wave of relief washing through you. 

“Great!” You chimed, the conversation changing and going back to your usual discussions, the air light with the promise of something else. 

The following weeks were spent talking about what you would do when you got there, where you would stay - which Zayne wouldn’t let you rent a hotel room for the time you were there, he claimed that they couldn’t be trusted but you had a feeling it was just to get to spend more time with you, and so on. It continued even right up to the night that you were packing your bags for the week, deciding to stay for the entirety of the time that you had off. 

“Are you nervous?” He asked, his voice coming through the speakers you had installed a little while ago as you moved about your room making sure that everything was in order. 

“A little, I haven’t been on a plane before… You’ll be there at the airport right?” You asked probably for the hundredth time. 

“Of course, I wouldn’t want to miss meeting my girlfriend for the first time. I’ll be there with a giant sign that says your name on it.” He responded, the reassurance calming your nerves for the moment. “You better get some sleep, it’s getting late for you.” 

“I will.” You paused briefly. “I love you Zayne, I’ll see you tomorrow.” The words still felt heavy on your tongue as if they weren’t supposed to be there, but you knew it was from how your current state of mind was. 

The beep of the call ending gave you a sort of comfort, knowing that he wouldn’t have to listen to you fret over your choices in clothing or what time exactly you had to be up. He reassured you that you got this, that you would make it on time and that he would be waiting for you. No doubt he would be, he had been hesitant at first but it quickly changed to excitement at the idea of spending time together and being within arms reach. 

When your alarm went off the next morning, you had already been awake five minutes prior, silently counting down the minutes that signaled the start of something new. After gathering all your bags and having a very quick breakfast, you were quick to dash out the front door and head to the rental car you had. Packing everything up and getting into the car, you made your way to the airport. 

The flight was pleasant and not to mention the beautiful view you had gotten by picking a window seat. You had made a new friend during the flight, an orc who was in the same boat as you, the two of you were quick to strike up a long conversation even going as far as to swap numbers to keep in contact since you would be in the same city as her. 

Once the plane had landed, and you had gathered your bags you headed into the waiting area, the familiar wave of butterflies rising up in you, making you nervous again. You held onto your phone, the flurry of texts coming through now that you were on the ground and in an area that had reception. 

‘I can’t wait to see you!’ Was the last one that you had received minutes before the plane had actually landed, with the quiet reassurance behind the message you moved forward. Scanning the crowd before a bright, colorful sign was held up with your name on it. The colors made you gasp in surprise, you had heard of how once someone had found their soulmate, colors burst to life before their eyes but you didn’t think it would be like this. The world around you seemed brighter, and you practically shoved your way through the crowd to get to him. 

“Zayne!” You called out, grabbing the drider’s attention, he was much more beautiful than what you ever could’ve imagined. He had long, white hair that was tied back, his skin a pale blue color before it shifted into a much brighter sapphire blue on his legs and abdomen, both of which are covered in a soft hair. 

His excited grin turns to shock as he begins to look around him before his gaze finally turns back to you. He steps forward hesitantly before a warm smile takes the shocked look, he captures you in a hug and twirls you with a laugh that had the others cooing at the sight of you two. “I had a feeling…” He began but you simply cut him off, cupping his face with your hands and pressing a kiss against his lips. 

“You’re absolutely gorgeous.” You stated as if it was a well known fact, a rosy coloring covering his cheeks from the sudden kiss. 

“I could say the same thing about you.” He responded, he set you down, taking some of your luggage so that you had a free hand which he quickly took hold of with his own, lacing your fingers together as you both silently moved towards the exit. 

“I’m glad to have met you.”

[iplaymatchmaker]

hello and good day! i would like a matchup for a3! and ikerev, please! she/her pronouns. you can call me juice, though! hm i think a good description of me personality wise would be im usually cheerful, friendly, childish but i tend to hide a lot of my negative feelings and overthink quite a lot. towards others i'm always curious about the littlest details of someone's hobbies or interest and sometimes i talk more than i listen. love literature and things like fashion or games (1)

Hello, thanks for requesting juice! Sorry for the long wait but I hope you enjoy it! I was pretty excited to write a match up for a3! since it’s been living rent free in my head for the last few weeks. I got a little carried away with the last prompt cause it was so fun to write, but I hope you like it! Also, the ikerev one might take some time but I’ll try to not take too long. Have fun!

I match you with

Tsuzuru!

The two of you first meet after you watch one of their plays, “A Clockwork Heart.” When you realize that the lead and writer is a classmate of yours from college you can’t help but approach him a few days later to discuss the play further.

He seems self conscious at first but quickly opens up as the two of you discuss his script and before you know it one conversation has turned into an in-depth discussion over lunch.

After that first encounter, both of you start talking more often, quickly growing closer. Tsuzuru appreciates your cheerful attitude, making it easy for him to be comfortable around you.

Considering your love for literature, you often help him brainstorm for new ideas, always looking forward to seeing how he brings it to life on stage.

It is easy for you to fit in with the rest of the boys from Mankai, despite their constant prying on your relationship with Tsuzuru. After all the time the two of you spend together, it is no surprise when none of the boys (except Azami) bat an eyelash when you make it official, after a lot of back and forth between friendship and romance.

Prompt: Bonding

“The reason S was created in the first place was because Luke needed a companion. It’s tragic that he was the one who left him in the end.”

“Well, yes, but he also taught him to open up to people, insuring that he wouldn’t be alone when he was gone.”

You and Tsuzuru had been discussing the end of his latest play “A Clockwork Heart” for a while, arguing over whether or not the ending was tragic. When you approached him to offer your praise for his work earlier that day you hadn’t been expecting him to engage in your opinions on a play he wrote, but he was actually deeply invested in the conversation, despite the matter at hand being trivial to the actual substance of the story.

“He couldn’t have known though. He also put his own wishes aside to protect him. That alone makes the ending tragic.” You vividly remembered the tears you had shed when the show reached its climax, a result of both his script and his acting.

“It depends on your idea of what the ending was. S was a machine, so as long as Luke was alive they could meet again, when it was safe for the both of them. That makes the ending-“

Ring Ring

You almost chucked at the generic sound his phone made as it vibrated.

“Give me a sec.” he moved away from the bench before answering. It wasn’t long before he returned, a flush expression on his face.

“Sorry, I didn’t realize I had kept you for so long. I actually need to get going.” He ran a hand through his hair, smiling shyly. It was only then that you noticed what time it was.

“I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to bother you for that long!” Now you were both flushed, the realization dawning on you that you had spent two hours talking.

“I-it’s fine. Um, we can continue this tomorrow, if you’d like?” you were surprised he actually wanted to talk again, a smile spreading over your face.

“Definitely. “

“Okay. See you then!” he waved as he ran off while simultaneously trying to dial someone, resulting in him almost falling on his face. You looked forward to tomorrow.

After that first encounter, you continued to meet during lunch to talk about other works, quickly realizing you had a similar taste in books and movies. It was an easy transition, going from acquaintances to friends.

“How’s the summer troupe’s play coming along?” It was easy to tell that he had been losing sleep again from the – almost – comical black circle under his eyes, but you asked anyway, hoping that you could offer some help.

“I know what I want to write, the words are just refusing to form and settle themselves on the page.” The frustration was evident on his face as he tried to put the pieces flying around his head in order. You tried to think of a way to help him but you knew that he needed to figure this out on his own.

“Come on.” You forcefully pulled him out of his chair, carefully shutting his laptop.

“W-wait. Where are we going?” you pushed him along, despite his protesting.

“Trust me.” You flashed him your biggest smile before setting of, only mildly aware that your hand was still around his wrist.

“The movies?” he seemed confused over what your objective was but you were confident it would help him out of his slump.

“Yes. Come on, I’ll even get us popcorn!” you were beaming as you led him inside.

“What are we watching?” Tsuzuru, finally resigned to his fate, flipped through the leaflet, looking at the moves currently playing.

“Your choice, I’m fine with whatever.” You hurried to the bar to pick up snacks, leaving him at the ticket booth.

“Look at those effects.”

“The acting is top notch.”

Tsuzuru had been so immersed in the movie he seemed to have forgotten all about his tiredness. When you exited the theatre you could practically see the gears turning in his head.”

“It’s a very different take on pirates than the summer troupe’s play, but if I exaggerate the characters even more then there would be great opportunity for comedy.” You couldn’t help the laugh that escaped you as you observed him, completely lost in his own mind.

“So I take it the creative juices are flowing again?” he looked back at you, as if seeing you clearly for the first time in days.

“Yes! Thank you!” He put his arms around you, too far lost in his excitement to feel any awkwardness.

“I-I have to go write! I’ll see you tomorrow.” He continued shouting thank you over his shoulder as he run off with newfound energy. You expected you wouldn’t see him the next day, considering he’d probably be passed out by then, but you smiled anyway.

“See you later!”

Prompt : Cinderella:

“So, you’re thinking of doing Cinderella for the next play?” You and Tsuzuru were hanging out in his room, taking full advantage of Masumi’s absence that weekend.

“Yeah… I’m not sure how to go about it though. Everyone in the Spring Troupe agreed that I should be lead this time around but I just don’t see myself in the shoes of a prince… Itaru would probably be a better fit for the role.” You couldn’t help throwing a pillow his way.

“Hey! What was that for?” You sat up a little straighter, tempted to glare at him until he picked up on your annoyance.

“I can definitely picture you in the role of the prince.” You cleared your throat before switching to your best narrator voice.

A long, long time ago there lived a boy and a girl. They were the best of friends when they were children. The boy would often sneak out to meet with her and they would play for hours. But their happiness would not last long.

You see, the girl grew up to be the maid of one of the less-fortunate royal families in the kingdom. She had been forced into that position by her father’s latest wedding. It would also turn out to be his last, for he died a few years later, leaving her in the care of a wicked stepmother.

One the other hand, the boy grew up to be the most charming prince in the land. The women fawned over him and he always had everything his heart could desire.”

“I’m literally none of those things.”

“Fine then.”

The prince was an idiot who didn’t know how to take care of himself and never asked for help. He constantly worried his friends over his health but they loved him anyway.

“That’s not any better…”

“Shh, let me continue the story.”

Their difference in class ripped the two friends apart, putting an end to their relationship. While they weren’t allowed to meet again, they promised to never forget about each other. To keep that promise, the made matching bracelets and agreed to never take them off until they could meet again.

“Friendship bracelets? Who does that?”

“They were kids! Would you have preferred rings?”

“Wouldn’t those basically be promise rings?”

“I’m coming up with this on the spot, give me a break!”

That bracelet was what gave the girl the strength to continue living, despite her struggles.

When news of a ball arrived at the estate, her step-sisters were quick to start preparations, eager to have a chance at the prince’s hand in marriage. The girl was simply happy at the prospect of seeing her friend again.

When her family found out she was planning to attend the ball, they locked her in the cellar, not willing to risk any competition. The girl wept and wept, until suddenly a kind seeming lady appeared in front of her.

“Isn’t this just the movie?”

“Give it a second!”

The lady promised she would help her get to the ball if that was what she wished. Despite her suspicions, the girl earnestly declared that all she wanted was to see her friend again. And so the kind woman flicked her wrist and the rags the girl had been wearing were replace by a rich ball gown, paired with a glass slippers. The girl thanked her again and again before heading off in search of her lost friend.

“She doesn’t warn her about the time limit?”

“There’s no curfew here, it’s a stupid conflict anyway.”

You couldn’t contain the excitement and adrenaline that flowed through you as you went up the steps of the grand palace. You hadn’t been here since you were a child, when the king’s father still allowed you to visit, and childhood memories flooded your mind. It was difficult to keep your nerves at a reasonable level as you approached the guards at the front gate. By the time you had arrived at the palace, most of the guests were already inside, so you were completely alone when you handed the invitation, hoping the witch had done her work well.

“Enjoy your evening.” They smiled before urging you to step inside. A sense of awe filled you as you walked through the somewhat familiar halls, remembering all the places you and Tsuzuru would hide from the servants, before his title meant anything to you.

You weren’t sure you remembered the way to the main hall, so you followed the noise, hoping you could make your way there.

When you finally stood outside what seemed to be the entrance, you took a few deep breaths before walking forward, determined to see your friend again. When you stepped though the door you quickly realized that the door wasn’t the room’s main entrance, but the top of the grand staircase. Dread filled you as everyone’s eyes fell on you. If it wasn’t for the railing you thought you have fainted right then and there. You breathed in, allowing you hand to wrap around the bracelet the two of you had made so long ago, letting the warm feelings it carried spread through you.

You bowed once before making your way down the stairs, hoping you wouldn’t trip on your dress and make a fool of yourself before the night even started.

The moment you were off the last step, your eyes fell on your step-mother, eyeing you with absolute envy and disgust. You hoped the mask would be enough to conceal your identity.

You walked around the room for a bit, keeping to the less populated areas, hoping to catch a glimpse of Tsuzuru, disappointed to find that he was nowhere to be found.

“Please let this not be for nothing…”

You were about to make your way to the balcony, but a swarm of guests was suddenly in your path, dancing to the waltz the band had just started playing. You frantically looked around, searching for a way out when two arms wrapped around you, pulling you along with the rest of the dancers.

“I guess you’re my partner?” the face of the man that stood before you made your jaw drop. You had thought of so many things to say, but now that Tsuzuru was standing before you, the words seemed to catch in your throat.

“So, uh, are you having fun?” he was as awkward as you remembered. Something about the familiarity filled you with a sense of calm. I found him.

“I am now.” It was hard to contain the smile quickly spreading around your face.

“Actually I was-“that was when it was time to switch partners. When you felt his hand slip from yours, panic flooded through you. No… I didn’t have the chance to tell him.

As he pulled his hand away, his fingers brushed the bracelet on your wrist, eyes widening as he was whisked away by another partygoer, realization evident in his features. You tried to get closer, but were quickly taken away by another guest. Your eyes landed on Tsuzuru a few times but the hall was too crowded. It was almost suffocating. You took the first chance to slip out on the balcony, eager to get away from the crowds.

You stood at the railing, letting the air cool down your heated face. He had seen you, but you weren’t sure he would care enough to search. Negative thoughts occupied your mind as you gazed at the land beyond. Maybe this was foolish… He probably barely remembers me… He’s a prince after all. He was more important matter to attend to than a peasant he used to spend his free time with. You felt tears gathering at the corners of your eyes, your own loneliness catching up with you.

“Please don’t cry!” You were shocked to find Tsuzuru standing a few feet away from you, his face flushed and his knees bent. He must’ve been running.

“You’re the girl from back then, aren’t you?” he glanced down at your wrist, pulling up his own sleeve to reveal a bracelet identical to yours.

“Y-you kept it.” Your voice cracked, barely audible in the midst of the ongoing celebrations.

“Of course I did! It meant a lot to me.” The words seemed to call to something inside you and so you let the tears fall.

“W-what did I do? Please don’t cry!” he took a step closer, still unsure of what boundaries existed between you.

“I-I can’t help it. I’m just so happy!” you wrapped your arms around him, not caring who saw you. All that mattered in that moment was that the two of you were reunited at last.

“I missed you.” You couldn’t see his face, but you could tell he was crying too, by the way his heart beat against your, the way his hands shook, still wrapped around you in a tight embrace. Year’s worth of loneliness and regret spilled out of the both of you in a single moment.

You stayed like that for quite some time, allowing the relief to wash over you. When you looked at each other again, you couldn’t help but laugh at your state. You knew the scene must look ridiculous to any outside spectators, but none of them mattered. It felt like you were alone in the world, no barriers between you. Your class didn’t matter. You were just a boy and a girl who had been reunited.

“ The king was skeptical at first, knowing a commoner queen wouldn’t create any new alliances, but he could see the love his son had for the girl. And so they married. It’s said that the pair practically run down the stairs of the palace after their wedding, eager to get to their honeymoon, their laughter echoing through the streets.”

“That’s an ending befitting a prince Muku reads about in manga… I still don’t see where I fit into this… ”

“Fine. As they descended the staircase, the prince fell on his ass, causing even more laughter from the girl. A moment she would never let him forget.” You couldn’t help but laugh at the earnest look on Tsuzuru’s face. He may be clumsy, but he has always been kind.

“It will need a lot modifications, especially considering the fact that none of us can exactly pull off female roles, but it could work.” At some point through the story Tsuzuru seemed to have pulled out a notebook, in which he was now scribbling away.

“Are you seriously taking notes?” he was still focused on the story, not letting the inspiration go to waste.

“Of course I am. You’re brilliant!” he pulled you in for a kiss, taking you completely by surprise.

“You’re the best.” He turned back to his note taking, leaving you with flushed cheeks and a bright smile.

“You too.”

And they lived happily ever after.

[vorish-musing]

Now They Know

GRAB SOME POPCORN Y’ALL, THIS STORY IS HUGE. 22 FREAKING PAGES AND 8800+ WORDS MAN. 

Summary: The losers have a reunion one year after destroying IT. surprises and a lot of chaos ensues

Warnings: don’t be fooled by the Fearplay, this is a soft, g/t vore fic that is completely non-fatal, although it has digestion mention (nothing happens), pain (not to prey) and multiple prey. 

“I don’t know, what time would that be? Oh, that's perfect, Richie just got off tour and we were already planning to go on a trip”

Richie’s ears perked up at Eddie's voice entered their apartment, a smile crept across his face as he realized Eddie was home, but he was confused at who Eddie was talking to, what did it have to do with him?

The man made his way to the other side of the Apartment, where Eddie was still on the phone, smiling goofily, like he was a child getting a present.

“Alright, I’ll book the tickets then.” he paused, letting the other person speak, “Yes, I’m telling Richie, I can’t just kidnap him.” he laughs, and the other person on the phone laughs too, Richie was beginning to get worried about what was happening He hated surprises and he wasn’t going onto a plane with no idea where the destination was.

“Okay, see you then, bye Mikey” Eddie hung up, turning around, surprised to see Richie there with a suspicious look on his face. “What?”

Richie’s look softened when he realized his boyfriend was talking to Mike Hanlon, the only person he would ever call ‘Mikey’. “What was that about?”

Eddie’s smile brightened as he went to the kitchen, Richie following “Mike wanted us to come out to Derry again, to reunite. It’s been so long since we’ve seen the losers.” as Eddie spoke, he grabbed a glass and got a cup of water, Richie sat on the counter.

He didn’t realize how long it was since they went back until Eddie said it. it had been about a year since they had their ‘reunion’

“Oh, Mike also says he has a really big surprise for us when we get there.”

“Cryptic. I like it” Richie Shrugged “When are we going?”

“Mike said he wanted us there next week, I’ve already requested time off before he called so I’m good.” Eddie took his laptop out of his briefcase, putting it on the Island table and typing away, booking the tickets as soon as possible.

This was going fast, but Richie was used to it by now, living with Eddie meant there was no waiting for anything. The apartment was always spotless thanks to Eddie. Richie would usually procrastinate, but Eddie wouldn’t let him, finding ways to make Richie do it, it was mostly threating not to show affection, which would make Richie do anything in a heartbeat.

“What about my uh…” Richie spoke, pointing to his stomach. That made traveling harder for them, when cravings got really bad, Eddie would drop everything and make his way over to Richie, so he wouldn’t have to result in eating an inebriated stranger again, even if that meant going across the country, they were both lucky that they were very well off.

“The trip there is only three hours, if you want, I can book one ticket and I can go inside for the plane ride.”

Richie shook his head, he didn’t know how the metal detector things worked, and he didn’t want to get caught with a tiny person in his stomach. “I can hold out,”

And that he did.

The plane ride to Derry wasn’t terrible, the whole time he was afraid his cravings would come on, but they never did. He just watched a documentary with Eddie on the shitty TV screen, drinking shitty alcohol the plane had, and tried his best to keep his mind on the show, he realized thinking about his hunger usually made it worse.

As they got off the plane, the two men noticed that Mike was standing right at the gate, smiling at them. He was accompanied by Bill who was practically beaming at the sight of them. The four of them shared their hello’s and went to go get the couples bag.

“How's Audra doing Bill?” Richie asked, putting his arm around Bill and bringing him in for a hug

“She’s doing great, working on a movie in Canada actually. I was happy to be able to fly out here in such short notice”

Eddie smiled and turned to Mike. “How was Florida? What brought you back to Derry?”

“I Moved to Florida, but I bought a cabin here so if we ever wanted another reunion, we could stay there, it’s right by the River.” Mike spoke as they made their way to the car Bill had Rented, putting Eddie and Richie’s stuff in the trunk. “I went shopping beforehand so we can make Dinner altogether”

“Not me” Eddie laughed “Last time I tried making anything I almost set a grease fire. Richie, however, is actually a pretty good cook.” Richie shied away, he didn’t think he was that great, all he did was follow other people's recipes. “What about Ben and Bev?”

“Bev and Ben are still on their way, but they said thirty minutes. Which is enough time to get the town.” the airport was a few minutes out of Derry, which was a little inconvenient, but none of the men minded at all. Richie and Eddie got into the back seats, Bill in the passenger, and Mike was driving.

The car ride to the Cabin was full of loud discussion, but it was mostly Mike gushing about Florida, how it was so much better than Maine, and that it was the first place where he felt free from everything that happened.

Richie tried to ignore the hungry feeling he had, trying to convince himself it was just because he drank on the plane and didn’t eat beforehand. But what he was smelling begged to differ. The other three men smelled amazing… no not amazing… appetizing.

He shook his head. He had expected this to happen, and he wasn’t going to let it get the best of him this time. Since he was able to explore his ability with a consenting person now (Eddie), it was easier for him to figure out coping mechanisms, and one of the best ones was drinking water. He didn’t know why it worked; it just did.

Mike Parked the car in front of the cabin, the men getting out. There was already another car there, Ben and Beverly getting out of it eagerly to see the other losers. There were hugs, smiles and a lot of excited chatter.

Eddie turned to Richie, sighing as he saw a familiar expression on Richie's face. He grabbed his backpack, pulling out a water bottle and handing it to his boyfriend, which Richie took immediately. His stomach growled, not happy it was getting water instead of what it really wanted, but the cramps died down a bit, so he could enjoy the night.

“Now I think you all remember I said there was a surprise, right?” Mike got the attention of all the losers, who just nodded in amused confusion.  “You guys should come in” Mike unlocked the door, letting the Losers gather into the cabin.

It was bigger than they thought it would be, from the outside it looked like only two people would be able to live there, but from the inside it looked so much bigger. The whole place seemed so cozy, much better than the town house they were in before.

“This is a nice place you got Mike” ben spoke as the group made their way to the Living room, which was carpeted and had a fire already lit in the fireplace.

“It's not just mine, it's ours” Mike put his arms around Eddie and Bill, who just smiled and walked with him.

“So, what's the big surprise Mikey, got some strippers in the back or something?” Richie chimed in, sitting on one of the big couches in the room, getting himself comfortable as quickly as possible.

Mike smiled, like he was waiting for someone to ask, “I’ll go get him” and with those words, mike left upstairs, the losers shared a confused, but curious look to each other, Eddie Sitting next to Richie.

There were quiet whispers they could faintly hear upstairs, followed by footsteps down the stairs, two pairs of footsteps. Mike entered the living room once again, the mystery person right behind him, still out of sight, until mike stepped out of the way with a big grin and misty eyes.

Stan Uris waved nervously at the losers, who all froze at the sight of him. Bill thought it was a ghost, but that couldn’t be possible, Ben instantly Ran up to Stan, giving him a huge hug, almost knocking the man over. Eddie followed suit. Bill slowly went over to his old best friend, grabbing onto him to make sure he was real.

He was. Stan Uris was alive

Beverly dropped the glass she was holding, the cup smashing on the wooden floor “Stanley?!” she spoke, he voices only able to let out a faint whisper. The whole room turned to her, she was frozen in her place, she couldn't move, tears were flowing down her face at the sight of him.

Stanley moved over to Beverly “Hi Bev.” he spoke, and she collapsed into his arms, the other men sat on the couches, while Eddie carefully moved around and cleaned up the smashed glass and water, trying not to ruin the two’s moment.

Richie too was frozen at the sight of Stan, but not just because he was alive, because he finally recognized him. Eddie noticed Richie’s horrified gaze and laughed.

“First Time trashmouth doesn’t have anything to say.” Eddie stood up, going to the garbage and placing the glass inside.

Stan turned to Richie with a big smile, ready to embrace the man as well, then froze. He recognized him as well.

 No...no no they can’t be the same person. Richie thought to himself as he stared at Stanley, but it was true, it was his best friend, and the first person he had ever eaten.

Stanley broke the gaze, moving to Richie and giving him a hug, Richie could feel the man shaking profusely.

Richie returned it with the same amount of nervousness. And cringed when he smelled the man. He still smelled good, and it didn’t help his cravings. The two let go, neither of them looking into each other’s eyes.

“How… the letters...I saw it.” Beverly spoke, Ben sitting her down on the couch with a new cup of water.

The losers were sitting as Stan told his story, apparently, he had attempted suicide, but his wife found him before he passed out in the bathtub, she called the police, and he was taken to the hospital. They saved his life, but unfortunately, he was put into a coma from how much blood he had lost. His wife sent out the letters he wrote after the doctors said there was little to no chance of him waking up.

“When I woke up, the first thing I did was call mike, he immediately came to see me, and told me everything that happened.” Stan turned to Mike, who just smiled and put a hand on Stans shoulder.

The losers spent the next hour or so talking, rebinding with Stanley and catching up on their own lives. Richie stayed silent on the Couch, and Eddie was getting worried, pulling him aside where the other losers couldn’t hear

“Are you okay” Eddie spoke, Richie just shook his head “You're not like this, what's going on.”

“I ate Stan.” Richie spoke quieter than Eddie. Whose eyes widened “He was the first person I ever ate 

“What?!” Eddie whisper yelled, it sounded so absurd, but if Richie said so, it must be true.

“I didn’t know it was him!” Richie held Eddies arms tightly, he looked down “oh god… when he hugged me, I smelled him… I’m getting water”

Eddies eyes widened, realizing Richie’s case was worse than he thought “You know I can go insid--”

“No.” he let go of Eddie, going to the kitchen, Eddie sighed, going back to the group. After a few moments Richie arrived with a cup of water, sitting away from Eddie and farther away from Stanley. Eddie didn’t feel bad, living with Richie made him learn things about Richie’s hunger.

People he had eaten before smelled better, since he knew what they tasted like. And when he had to hold it down it was worse. What Eddie did not understand was why Richie didn’t want to eat him, usually the man jumped at the opportunity whenever he could.

“I have an Idea.” ben proclaimed, catching the attention of the rest of the losers. “What if we went to the Clubhouse and showed Stan how it looks, He hasn’t seen it since we were kids”

Stan nodded excitedly, looking at the other losers, who smiled and nodded with him, even Richie, who decided he was going to enjoy everything, instead of worrying about his cravings. Eddie smiled seeing Richie’s mood change but could still see he wasn’t fully okay.

“Maybe we should eat first, then go” Eddie spoke, Maybe eating would help Richie feel better? Even if He had been dating Richie for a year, he still didn’t understand everything with his ability and what would help.

“It’ll only be for a bit Eddie,” Bill stated as he was getting his jacket on. “We’ll make dinner together.”

“Yeah” Richie finally spoke up after not speaking for a while “But who knows eds, maybe there are some spiders that you can eat along the way” Richie moved over to Eddie, making his fingers crawl across the man’s back, simulating a spider crawling up his spine.

“Beep Richie” Eddie squirmed away, Richie teasing the man by laughing at his reaction.

The losers left the house quickly, not caring how dark it was out. Mike and ben were leading, while the rest of the gang followed behind.

Richie was walking with Eddie, who was talking more with Beverly and Ben about a strange memory they had as kids.

“H-hey”

 Richie jumped at the voice behind him, turning around as soon as he heard it. Stan was looking sheepish walking behind Richie; his gaze was to the ground and his hands in his pockets. Richie felt the seed of guilt plant in him, he made Stan feel this way, and he couldn’t do anything about it.

“Oh, hey man” Richie tried acting normal, after all, they both agreed to never speak of what happened again, of course that would be a bit harder now that they’re not strangers.

“Can I ask you something?”

Richie’s stomach dropped, and it twisted painfully, both from anxiety and hunger, though he was trying to push it down, but try as he might, he couldn’t help breathing in Stanley’s scent. It was like fresh strawberries. “You already did” Richie smiled, trying to make an ice breaking joke. when stan gave him a serious look, Richie’s smile faded “Yeah go ahead”

“Do the others know about...you?”

Richie's eyes widened, it never occurred to him that Stan could get his secret out, “N-No!” he raised his voice in panic, Stan flinching at the change in volume. “Only Eddie.” he spoke again, this time in a quieter tone.

Stan nodded “I won’t say anything, I promise”

“I know you w-WON’T?!”

As Richie spoke, he felt like someone punched him hard in the gut, he fell on all fours, clutching his stomach and groaning in pain

“Richie are you okay?” Mike came over to him, not fully alarmed, but concerned, the other losers also came over, voicing their concerns.

“Oh, shit Richie!” Eddie pushed past the losers, who gathered around to figure out what happened, Eddie glared up at Stanley “What the fuck did you do” Stan jumped back slightly at how angry Eddie was.  his mind was racing, did Stan attack Richie for before? No no, stan wasn’t violent, 

“N-no he just--” Stan tried to speak, but Richie cut him off.

“I-I c-can’t” Richie groaned looking over to Eddie, his eyes were dilating, stan and Eddie shared a look, they both realized what was going on “I-I can’t control it.”

“Richie it’s okay if you let me go in-…”  Eddies words trailed off, was Richie getting...bigger?

Oh shit.

“What the fuck” Bill began backing up, ben held Beverly as they did too, mike froze and Stan’s back was against the tree, Eddie stayed right by Richie, who was growing bigger by the second, he comforted Richie as the man made noise, clearly in pain.

This wasn’t the first time Richie grew, but it was a rare thing, usually he shrunk people. “Richie it’s okay, I know it hurts. Please keep breathing for me.

“Eddie get away from him!’ Beverley yelled; the losers didn’t know how to react. The only other thing they saw that could be giant...Was pennywise.

After a minute of growing, Richie finally stopped, he seemed to triple in height. The man changed positions, hugging his knees, his head resting on his arms, he seemed more afraid then they did.

Eddie took a breath, before going to the man’s leg, putting a hand on him.

Mike finally snapped out of his frozen state to back up, falling back and crawling away in fear. “Eddie what are you doing?!’

“It’s okay.” he called to the others “Richie. It’s okay right?”  he waited for the giant’s response.

Richie finally looked up from his arms, his eyes were almost fully black, and he didn’t look like he understood Eddie at all.

Stanley's heart dropped, he recognized that look from before, “Eddie get away from him!”

 he wanted to run and pull the man away, save him from what inevitably was about to happen, but his body couldn’t move, his hands were stuck to the tree with fear. He could barely breathe

“Guys it’s oKAY?!”

Richie moved quickly, snatching Eddie up, holding him by his torso with his thumb and in and bringing him up to his face.

“eddie!”  Beverly tried to run to him, but Ben grabbed her, pulling her back. “Let me go!”

“Richie?” Eddie spoke, but it finally dawned on him that Richie was gone, only his instinct was in control. He wasn’t scared, but he hoped that Richie could snap out of it once he was eaten.

And with that thought, Richie opened his mouth, bringing Eddie inside, who didn’t fight.

“Eddie” the losers yelled in unison, they watched as eddies body entered Richie’s mouth, headfirst.

From eddies perspective, it was another day living with Richie, he was going to be fine and would be out in no time. The only thing Eddie was worried about was Richie snapping out of it and not eating anyone else.

From the loser’s perspective, it was much worse. They were witnessing their friend being devoured by a hungry giant. And they were most likely going to suffer the same fate.

Richie’s tongue dragged around eddies body, coating him before the giant swallowed. It was much more aggressive than usual. Richie tried to be as gentle as possible, this time it seemed more animalistic.

Bill couldn’t watch anymore of this, turning and getting away as fast as he could, stumbling around as he tried to find a place to hide from this giant that was once his friend.

Richie tilted his head up, downing Eddie in one gulp. His throat bulged out as his boyfriend passed his Adam’s apple, the swallow making a loud, sickly sound.

Eddie was crushed by Richie’s throat, but not as much as he usually was. He could move, and when he pushed against the esophagus, it wouldn’t squish him down harder. As he slid into Richie’s belly, the organ gurgling loudly as he entered, he noticed how roomie it was there as well.

Eddie pushed against the wall, “Hey Its okay!” he yelled out, hoping the losers could hear “He won’t hurt you guys!” he slumped down in defeat. He knew nobody was able to hear him, he just hoped Richie could snap out of it before he ate the rest of them.

The losers watched as Richie’s pupils shrink, but not back to normal. And he looked like he just woke up.

Richie didn’t remember where he was, all he saw were tree lines, which he assumed he was on top of a building or something. But when he looked down and saw himself, he made a noise of surprise.

His stomach hurt badly, he was still hungry, and to show it, his stomach let out a loud growl, making him turn red. Though an amazing smell hit him, his stomach whining for whatever it was. He still wasn’t fully in control.

He looked away from himself, and saw Mike, Beverly, Stan and Ben staring at him in horror. Ben was crying, mike and bevy looked like they were on the verge of doing the same. Stan stared at him, probably trying to figure out if Richie was coherent or not.

He looked around more for Bill and Eddie, but he didn’t see any sign of them.

That's when he felt the lump in his stomach, and the pounding on the wall. He licked his lips, tasting a sweet vanilla flavor, sighing in slight relief he ate Eddie and not anyone else.

“Guys” he spoke, his throat groggy, like he just woke up. Mike backed up fearfully “I-it’s okay,”

Beverly was silent, before screaming “OKAY?!’ the volume even made Richie flinch “you ATE Eddie!”

“I-I uh” He covered his mouth, he was drooling at the smell of the losers, he had to hold it down, panicked, he spoke through his hands “Stan you know it's okay, tell them”

The remaining losers turned to stan, who was frozen, he was reliving the memory when he was eaten, and was shaking like a leaf.

Beverly stepped closer, Ben yelling at her to stay back, she didn’t listen.

“Let him go, or I-I’ll make you! “She really couldn’t make him, but she would sure as hell try to. Richie tried backing up away from her.

“Please stay back” He bit his lip, his stomach begging him to snatch her up.

“Bev Stop” Mike yelled, running to Ben to hold him back.

She moved closer, right by Richie’s leg “Not until you let him go.”

“BEVERLEY!”

 Richie didn’t realize what he was going until Beverley’s top half was in his mouth. He knew he must’ve picked her up and stuffed her in, she was kicking wildly and trying to get him away from her.

He wanted to let her go, he wanted to drop her and give her back to Ben, who was being pulled away by Mike.

But he couldn't. She just tasted so good. He had to have her.

She tasted like cinnamon, it was delightful, no matter how much he wanted to stop, he just couldn’t.

Beverly pushed against the giant’s tongue, she knew she couldn’t get out of this, she just hoped that the others could get away before Richie could get to them.

She let out a gasp as she was tipped forward, slipping closer and closer to the dark red throat near her. With a loud, thick gulp, Beverly was shoved into the throat.

“beVERLY!” Ben yelled, watching Richie’s throat bulge out once again, and as she descended, Richie licked his lips, cherishing the taste of the woman.

Richie’s look of fullness soon turned to shock and pain as Beverly pushed and prodded at his throat, doing anything she could to make his insides feel like they were on fire. He held his throat and stomach, wincing at the pain. He hoped she would get down quicker, Eddie could explain as soon as possible.

As Richie was distracted by his own misfortune, Stan, Ben and Mike took their opportunity to run, following in Bills footsteps.

Unfortunately for them, Richie noticed almost instantly, in a panic, he yelled “Wait!” his throat was gravely, like he was sick. 

The losers didn’t stick around for Riches explanation, he didn’t blame them, all he could do was follow. Luckily for him, they wouldn’t be hard to find.

Beverly kicked, cried, even bit at Richie’s insides, trying her hardest not to go down easily, though it didn’t seem to faze Richie, his heart beating steadily and his breathing only a little bit off, probably from her blocking his windpipe.

She cringed as her body slid into Richie’s stomach, the organ happily gurgling around her, welcoming her to this prison bound in flesh and acid.

“Fuck you!” she screamed, kicking against Richie’s stomach wall, hearing the man react in pain, she smiled, at least she could give him some bruising before anything happened.

She winded up for another kick, but someone pulled her back, making her scream.

“Beverly stop its okay!” Eddie spoke, trying to hold her down to the best of his abilities, she flailed in his grip, she turned, looking at Eddie in horror, he was calm, she could make out a faint smile on his face

“No, it’s not!” she pushed him away “We’re dead, Eddie! Your boyfriend killed us!”

“No, he did-”

“Richie ate us, he’s going to Kill all of us!”

Eddie stood up, putting a hand over Beverly’s mouth “No he’s not!” Eddie yelled, loud enough to stop Bev in her tracks.

“He’s not going to digest us; I know that because I’ve been through this before.”

Beverly moved Eddies hand away, he guided her in sitting down, she was silent for a while, she had no idea what to say to him. This wasn’t possible. She asked him how, in a quiet, almost mumbling voice.

“Last year, I almost died. You remember” she nodded, like she could forget it, he was impaled right in front of her. “Richie saved me”

“He got you to the hospital.”

“No, he didn’t.” Eddie shushed her once more. “I would have bled out by then. He ate me, healing me from my wound.” she opened her mouth to ask, but he beat her to it “I don’t know how it healed me, but he knew.”

“Why didn’t he say anything”

“Because” Eddie sighed “he wanted to keep it a secret, it was embarrassing for him, so I didn’t tell anyone, the night we went out to a restaurant before we left, Richie wasn’t feeling well?”

Beverly nodded, confused where this was going.

“He was getting his ‘craving’ as he calls it, nothing will stop it completely, and if he didn’t eat me, what happened tonight might have happened.”

Beverly’s head felt like it was about to explode, she wanted to yell, cry, fight, but all she really could do was huddle up to Eddie, hoping that what he was saying was true.

“Let me go!” Ben Yelled at Mike, who ignored the request and kept dragging Ben in the opposite direction he wanted to go

“You can’t save her Ben!”

“I don’t CARE!” He pushed back, making Mike lose his grip on the man, giving his chance to escape. Mike fell to the ground as Ben ran away, wanting to be alone.

He just got her back, and she was gone. He was so afraid; this was worse than pennywise. Was it pennywise? He didn’t want to believe it was Richie, but it just didn’t seem like something pennywise would do.

Ben stopped running as he found the trapdoor to the clubhouse, he smiled at the sheer luck of the draw as he pulled on the hatch, which made a loud creaking noise.

He paused, hearing the ground rumble ever so slightly, making him break out into a nervous sweat. He wasted no time jumping into the clubhouse, leaving the lid open ever so slightly, so he could see if anyone was coming, maybe find Mike or Stan Following.

Richie could smell the losers scattered about, he didn’t know which one he would find, but at least he knew they were still in the forest. He felt terrible for what he did, and what he was bound to do.

He had to let them know he was okay, and maybe Eddie talking to them would help, Beverly had stopped struggling as much as she was before, still stiff and afraid, but Eddie must’ve helped her out a bit.

He put a hand on his stomach, not saying a word, he didn’t want to make anything worse.

His ears perked up at the sound of a door opening and spun around to where the noise was coming from, it wasn’t too loud, if he wasn’t on edge, he probably wouldn’t hear it.

His stomach let out another growl, and he groaned, nothing was going to satisfy him was it? Two wasn’t enough? 

Richie began making his way over to the sound, trying hard to see any movement in the dark. He noticed the trapdoor to the clubhouse opened slightly, then shut quickly with a loud bang

“Shit!” Ben Whispered loudly, seeing a tall figure approaching made him jump back, the lid crashing down, he moved to a corner hoping Richie would look, but not find him because of the darkness.

He stared as the trapdoor slowly creaked open, a booming voice called to him “I know one of you guys are here.” Richie sighed “Can we just make this easier and you come out?”

Richie sounded annoyed, but seemingly not annoyed at him. He sounded like he didn’t want to do this, and maybe he didn’t. After all, he did tell Beverly to stay away before… Ben shivered at the thought, the look of enjoyment on Richie's face burned into his memory,

Maybe this was pennywise controlling him? There was no telling what was going on.

Ben's eyes widened as Richie’s hand entered the room, moving around gently, trying to find him in the darkness. Ben stood up, pushing himself into the wall as soon as possible, unfortunately, as he did this, he knocked over something, making a crashing noise by his feet, quietly, he cursed himself out.

The hand froze, before moving in his direction, right in front of him. Ben stayed quiet, hoping Richie would move somewhere else. But he knew what was bound to happen.

He was surprised when Richie’s hands didn’t snatch him up hungrily, but carefully wrapped his hand around the man's waist, ben couldn’t do anything either way, being hoisted into the air, he attempted to pry the hands open,

Richie pulled the person out into the moonlight, “Oh Ben” He sounded surprised, like this was a game to him, hopefully he could talk him down to not breaking his jaw while he ate him.

Ben glared daggers at Richie, “Oh, a monster” he hissed at the giant, Richie looked genuinely offended by his words, frowning a bit before moving Ben closer.

Richie breathed in the scent, it was almost like coffee, his stomach pleaded for Richie to swallow him down, letting itself be known with another loud growl, which in turn, made Ben pale in fright.

“W-Well  what are you waiting for!” He yelled “get it over with!”

Richie opened his mouth to speak, to tell ben that it would be okay, that he wouldn’t digest him, but it was only met with more yelling, some of it incoherent.

Richie rolled his eyes, “Fine”

Bens words trailed out as Richie placed him inside his mouth, noting that he tasted like coffee as well. Ben pushed against Richie’s mouth, trying to keep it open, which was met with Richie’s tongue rolling him onto his back, soaking him in saliva and pinning him to the roof of the mouth.

“You’re not going to get away with this!” He yelled out loud

I know, I know. Richie though, he could feel the two people in his belly move around, confused about what was going on. He felt a painful kick at his stomach wall, making him swallow as he winced, sending Ben down as he was still fighting hard.

He yelled out in pain, at the kick, poking back at his organ, knowing who the culprit was. Once Ben moved passed his windpipe, he spoke, his voice showing his pain “Thanks Beverly, Bens on his way down now” he coughed slightly. Eddie and Beverly freeze, he could barely hear them speaking, only mumbles, but he didn’t mind much.

Something in him was upset he couldn’t savor Bens taste more, he found himself licking his lips, wanting more. God I’m such a glutton. Richie smirked a bit, even though he felt bad, it was semi enjoyable to finally swallow the losers. he wanted to do it for a while now, but he wished it was under different circumstances.

He felt Ben enter his stomach, it is gurgling happily in response, he paused to feel the three of them interact inside of his belly, Eddie seemingly trying to calm him down, Beverly embracing him tightly. He put a hand on his stomach, patting it carefully, noticing that it was bulging out a little bit more than normal, nothing that would cause alarm if he was normal size, he felt someone (probably Eddie) return the pat gently.

Richie sighed, turning around, going back to finding the other losers.

Mike ran through the woods, trying to find a way back to the house, or maybe just a place to hide, he made his way over to the quarry, the cliff being barricaded by a small metal fence. 

As he passed the quarry, he heard loud footsteps, way too big to be any of the other losers, he panicked, trying to find a place to hide.

Suddenly, Mike was pulled into the bushes. He let out a yell, his instincts telling him it was Richie. His mouth was covered by a hand, and someone shushing him into silence. He turned, sighing in relief, pushing the hand away

It was Bill, he looked petrified. “I heard it too” Bill moved as far back as possible “me and Eds would hide from Bowers here. I don’t think Richie would remember this exists.”

Mike nodded, the bush was quite roomy, he moved back beside Bill, “we defeated a demon clown, we can defeat this.”

Bill shushed him once more as the footsteps got louder and louder.

Richie made his way to the quarry, hoping to not see any of the losers going for a swim. He knew at least one was here, there was a sweet smell, and one almost like a mint smell.

He scanned the area with his eyes, getting on his knees to see below most of the trees. He cringed as the losers in his belly squirmed around, he didn’t know if it was enjoyable or annoying at this point.

Bill covered his mouth as he saw Richie looking for the two of them, Mike put a hand on Bills shoulder, quietly consoling the other man.

Another low growl made the two men cringe. Bills mind raced, he had no idea if him and mike were the only losers left.

A branch snap made Richie turn around, hoping that it was one of the losers, and not some stranger taking a walk in the woods. He couldn’t see much in the brush, maybe it was just an animal.

As he was distracted. Mike began to move, attempting to run to another hiding spot, but it was Bill who beat him to it, quickly and quietly moving out of the bush, to the cliff. He planned to jump in the water, Richie couldn’t get him at that point.

He climbed over the barricade, getting ready to jump. He knew this was a bad idea, that he should’ve stayed where he was, he gave one last look to Mike, who was shocked at Bills plan. He didn’t want to abandon Mike, but maybe the noise of him hitting the water would distract the giant so he could get away too.

With one last breath, bill let go of the metal, jumping forward, his heart pounding loudly.

But he wasn’t going to hit the water any time soon.

Richie noticed Bill at the edge, and feared for the man’s life, sure, they had jumped down before, but he could hurt himself on the way down.

Richie scrambled towards the man as soon as he jumped, luckily, he was able to scoop Bill up right before he started his decent.  The man struggled in Richie’s grip, yelling and pleading for the giant to let him go.

Mikes breath hitched, watching the whole ordeal go down. He pushed himself out of the bush, grabbing a nearby rock 

“Jesus Christ Bill” Richie laughed in pure shock “you we’re going to fucking jump off a cliff?”

Bill sneered at the giant “Let me go!”

“Bill you know I’m not going to do that” the tone in Richie’s voice was trying to be calming, but to Bill, it was condescending.

He stopped moving, realizing his predicament “Just make it quick you bastard”

“What?” Richie blinked in surprise. Mike, who was ready to throw the rock, paused. He didn’t understand.

“Do it! Kill me” Bill Exploded, making Richie’s eyes widen “you’re going to do it anyways, what's it to you? You get your sick kicks by killing your friends!”

Richie paused, the words hitting him like a bullet, the face he was making actually made Bill feel a bit of guilt, but that was soon dropped, he was going to die, why feel bad for the one who was going to kill him?

“Bill, you’re not going to die.” Bill looked at Richie in absolute anger “If you let me expla- OW!”

Mike threw the rock at Richie’s head, hitting him in the forehead, it wasn’t that painful, mostly a shocked outburst. He turned to Mike, who was picking up another rock to throw, but the giant was much faster, picking him up immediately.

“Don’t fucking lie! Just do it” Bill yelled, tears threatening his eyes. He wouldn’t be able to say goodbye to Audra.

“Fine, I'll let them explain instead.”  Richie sighed sadly, he was hoping he could get through to someone, but he knew it wouldn’t work.

Richie carefully opened his mouth, bringing Bill inside, Mike struggled, closing his eyes as he watched, Bill didn’t move a muscle, knowing it was no use.

He was still going to do what Bill asked, and started soaking him in saliva quickly and gently, he was still going to make this quick.  He found Bills taste quite pleasant, ignoring the dirt on the man, he tasted like Lemonade, sweet and a bit sour strangely enough.

“Richie stop” Mike pleaded with the man I know your still in there” as he spoke, we was, still not looking at the sight before him, “You can let him go, and if the others are still alive, you can let them go.”

Richie spent no time tilting his head up, gently swallowing Bill down. He patted his stomach, letting the three know a new loser was coming down.

Bill made no effort to move, allowing Richie to breathe calmly and not spend a few minutes soothing his throat, Beverly and Ben did a number on him as they went down.

“I really should just shrink back down, I think that would make this easier” Richie laughed, his voice still gravely.

Mike opened his eyes “What?” Richie shrugged “You’re not...being controlled?”

“Not anymore no” Richie sighed in relief and Mikes calm tone, maybe he could finally explain “with Bev and Eddie I wasn't really. Hope they’re not too mad.” he put a hand on his stomach.

It took Mike a moment to realize what Richie was saying, “They’re alive?!”

“That's what I was trying to say to Bill, but I think he had to see it to believe it.”  Richie felt the man in question enter his stomach, cringing at another kick inside, the losers squirming to make more room.

Mike shook his head, this was a test, there was no way the losers were alive at this point, he didn’t even think pennywise could keep people alive when they were surrounded by acid. He pushed at the fingers that held him

“You’re...YoU’RE LYING” he yelled loudly, pushing against Richie’s fingers once again, making the giant sigh, knowing he wouldn’t get through to mike, just like the others.

Richie pinched the bridge of his nose, “I’m not...but” he sighs loudly “Guess Eddie will have to explain.” he had hoped mike would go at least a bit willing, since his stomach and esophagus had been through hell for the past hour.

Mikes heart sunk, realizing his mistake as Richie lifted him up, bringing mike into his mouth just as he did the others. As if on cue, mike fought back, punching the roof of Richie’s mouth, making the man swallow Mike on reflex. Still mostly dry.

Richie cried out in pain, holding his throat, usually it wasn’t this bad, but having something mostly dry sliding down his (already hurt) throat made it so much worse. He could feel the others moving, Eddie rubbing the stomach wall, and another pair of hands joined him…

Even in pain, Richie stopped what he was doing, wondering who was doing it, then another pair of hands joined. Though not helping his pain, it was a good sign that Eddie was getting through to them.

 Mike had an equally awful decent. Cringing and pushing against the esophagus. He seemed to drag just a bit, but that was the least of his worries.

He felt his legs enter what he assumed to be, was the stomach. He cringed, not ready to see his friends...or what was left of them. As he slipped in though, he didn’t see that. Quite the opposite.

Mike flailed and kicked, trying to get Richie to throw up, or just feel pain before anything happened to him.

“If it didn’t work for them, it won’t work for you, Mike”

He turned around, seeing Eddie Right in front of him, as he was about to start yelling, his eyes adjusted to the area around him, he noticed Beverly and ben, huddled in one area, bill beside them, holding himself, slightly shaking. They were all alive, Richie had been telling the truth.

“W-What?!” was all he could say. Eddie explained it to him, all of it. He sounded like a broken record to the others, especially Beverly, and he seemed very interested in speaking.

“But he told me he knew what he was doing with Ben and Bill” he looked down, there was no acid anywhere, maybe just a pool of saliva and water

“Yeah, the trashmouth went with the show don’t tell method.” Ben spoke, pushing against the wall, not hard enough to hurt Richie though, more playful.

Richie took a deep breath, holding his stomach, finally being able to hear them speak, they were probably hushed whispers before.

“F-fuck!” Richie turned his head at the new voice, one not inside his stomach.

Stan had been trying to make his way back to the cabin with no luck, he didn’t remember the area at all. He turned, seeing Richie on his knees, his stomach a slightly rounder than before, and moving. He backed up, slipping on the fallen leaves. He made eye contact with the giant; fear the only emotion he was feeling.

He remembered the disoriented look Richie had the first time, how his throat crushed him and how hot his stomach was, he thought he was going to die then, he was sure he wasn’t now, but it was still a frightening sight.

“H-hey!” Richie put his hands up, trying to look as innocent as possible, not wanting Stan to run. “It’s okay, they’re okay too” he felt his stomach moving, the losers confused at why his heart rate sped up.

Stan stared at riches gut, the shirt slightly bulged out around it, he couldn’t see every movement inside, but he could see it move from time to time, not to mention the gurgles coming from it were hard to miss.

“T-they know now...huh” as they spoke, stan became less anxious, Richie was in a completely different headspace than before, and probably an expert on what he could do.

Richie kept his hands up, nodding to Stanley “didn’t really have a choice.”

The giant watched as Stan got up, slowly walking towards him “how many…?”

As if on cue, Richie let out a small burp, holding his hand up to be a little more ‘polite’ “All except you”

Stans spine sent a shockwave through his body as he heard this, all the losers, and was Richie expecting him to go inside too?

Richie saw the look on Stans face, then turned bright red “shit I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it like that…”

Stan nodded; his eyes fixated on Richie’s stomach “They’re okay...Right?”

Richie nodded quickly “yeah, none of them are hurt, and they’ve stopped kicking, so I think they’re at least calm now”

This is when Stan noticed how drained Richie looked, even though the man was trying to keep a chill face, he already noticed his strained voice, but his whole body looked like it wasn’t happy.

“are...you...okay?”

Richie paused, nobody had asked him that, sure, he didn’t really have a chance to have a conversation, but it still took him off guard “I’ve never eaten so many at once, I’ve only had one person inside at most. This is… completely new.”

Richie didn’t want to say it, but he really liked it, feeling so full, having eaten so many people, it was fantastic, sure before it wasn’t the most ideal, but they weren't fighting, a kick here and there, yes, but that was it.

He was so happy he could protect his friends this way, that he wouldn’t have to hide it anymore around them.

“Are you… going to eat me?” Stan asked, more curious than afraid at this point.

“I mean, I don’t have to prove that it's okay to you, right?” Richie chuckled slightly, “I’ll only do it if you want me to.”

On one hand, stan didn’t want to relive the horrors he had already been through, but on the other, he knew it was safe, and Richie wouldn’t hurt him.

“Can I… Speak to the others?” he awkwardly pointed to Riches stomach. The giant paused at the question, never being asked that before, then nodded.

Richie put his hands down as stan was right next to Richie’s stomach, the giant blushing a bit at the awkwardness.

“Guys?” Stan called, poking the outside of the stomach.

“Stan! Oh god STAN.” he heard Beverly’s voice the loudest, she was yelling over the others “It’s OKAY! Richie won’t hurt you! All of us are fine!”

“I kind of know that already...it’s a long story.” Stan laughed ever so slightly, realizing how weird it was to talk to the losers while they were inside.

Richie felt a heavy kick, ben yelling to him “you better not hurt him Richie! He’s been through fucking enough!”

Richie winced “I know that Ben! Just stop kicking already!”  stan felt bad for the giant, he clearly didn’t want this to happen, and now was stuck making his friends possibly fear him for a while 

He took a deep breath, “I’ll go in, if it's not too much trouble.”

Richie was taken aback by Stands words, “no trouble at all.” he was expecting Stan to stay as far away as possible, but now he was offering himself up

Stan looked around “what should I…?” Richie shook his head.

“You don’t need to do anything, just stay calm, and it’ll be okay.” Richie laid his hand out for Stan, who climbed on it carefully. This all reminded him of Eddie in a way, nervous, yet okay with it.

Richie lifted his hand up, Stan holding onto him tightly, just like he was trying not to fall off, even though Richie wouldn’t let that happen.

Stan’s breath hitched as he realized what he got himself into again, but... He wasn’t scared, if anything he was curious. He felt Richie’s warm breath on him, and he closed his eyes.

When he opened them, he was all the way inside Richie’s mouth, the tongue carefully holding him in place, almost like it was ready for him to flail around.

But he didn’t.

Richie carefully closed his mouth, sealing Stanley inside, noting that he tasted like lime, something he didn’t notice the last time, then again, he wasn’t awake for that.

Stan awkwardly watched as Richie’s tongue curled around him, but he didn’t move, no matter how much he wanted to, he could tell by the darker red spots on the roof of riches mouth that the man had been through enough.

While this must’ve been torture for the losers, it was also torture for Richie.

He gasped slightly as Richie tilted his head back, swallowing gently, easing Stanley into his throat. He could hear Richie wince at this, probably in a bit of pain, but he slid into the throat smoothly.

Richie swallowed again, his airway blocked by Stan just a bit, but he was thankful that the man wasn’t moving, it must’ve taken a lot for him to do that.

Stan was prepared to feel the crushing feeling of Richie’s throat, the pulling of the muscles, but it just felt like a gentle massage, he could see why Eddie wasn’t scared, how he could almost find it enjoyable.

Stanley Gasped once more as he entered Richie’s stomach, barely being able to see the losers around the organ

Eddie was right beside him in an instant. “Are you okay?” he held out his hand to help stan up

Stan nodded, taking his hand, hoisting himself up, trying to get his footing on the squishy surface.

Richie held his stomach, no more kicks, punches, anything was happening anymore, he smiled at the feeling, surprised that he barely showed anything on the outside.

 “Hey guys… I’m going to head back to the cabin.” He poked his stomach, “before that though, I have to go back to normal… so don’t worry if you start getting smaller alright?”

“Smaller? You want us smaller?” Mike’s muffled voice called.

“Yeah unless you want to be covered in my guts instead of in them” he chuckled slightly

The losers sat as Richie went quiet, one by one, they began to feel dizzy, then began shrinking down, the stomach getting larger and larger as they did,

“This is insane” Bill spoke “Eddie, why didn’t you say this was possible before” he turned to Eddie, who just shrugged.

“I promised Richie I wouldn’t, he didn’t want you to view him differently, or react like you did tonight.”

Richie shrunk them as much as he thought was safe, around 3 inches for all of them. When he felt like they were the right size, he focused on himself, making himself dizzy, almost feeling like he could pass out.

He slowly began shrinking, wanting to make sure he didn’t get the measurements wrong with the losers and rip himself apart. Once he got to his normal height of 6’1”. He looked back at his middle, which was flatter than before, which made him sigh, thankful it wasn’t going to be obvious that he ate six of his friends.

“All of you okay?” he patted his stomach, no reply, they were probably recovering from the dizziness, but he felt a few taps coming from inside, that was good enough for him.

 He made his way back to the cabin, all too aware of the losers moving around, trying not to hurt him this time, he knew once he got them out, he’d wait a few days before eating again, his throat being through a bit too much tonight.

As he opened the door to the cabin, he took a deep breath in and sighed loudly. He felt someone pat him inside as he made his way upstairs, having no intention of letting the losers out until morning, something he did with Eddie quite a bit.

“I hate to say it Richie, but I told you so! You should have listened.”

Richie poked Eddie, knowing exactly where he was “shut up pipsqueak.”  Eddie laughed, and surprisingly, so did the other losers.

Richie dropped onto the bed in the first room he saw had no suitcases in it, being mindful of his passengers inside.

“Okay, hope you enjoy your stay at hotel Tozier, but you’re checking out tomorrow morning.” Richie took off his shoes then glasses, putting them on the nightstand. “Unless you want to come out tonight I can—”

“Beep Richie” Beverly spoke, “we can tell your in pain. Just sleep.” a bit of muffled sorry’s came after, but Richie couldn't blame them for how they were acting, they didn’t know.

He stayed awake long enough to feel each loser falls asleep, then allowed himself to, hoping that this wouldn’t be the last time he did this to them. After all, they know now, he doesn’t have to hide it anymore.

--------------

told y’all it was long! I really hope you guys likes it since I worked really hard on making it perfect for you guys!

[vernonfielding]

Such is the life of trailblazers

Story No. 4 of my Season 7 Countdown Project. I would still love prompts for future missing scene fics!

Summary: “This heroine is my heroin.”

Rosa’s never seen anyone who looks like her on the cover of a book before. So of course she’s going to buy that book and read it. Takes place during Return to Skyfire. (Read on AO3.)

Rosa heads straight to her rented garage in Flatbush after work so she can put in a couple of hours on the Audi Ur-S6, which is a dumb-looking car but then, collecting’s never been her thing anyway. She FaceTimes with Tom Hardy for a bit to show him her progress on the ignition system and once she’s shaken him – dear God, Hardy is a talker – she cleans up and heads home.

She doesn’t think about The Crimson Portal until she’s finished heating up her dinner and is looking around for something to do while she eats. She reaches for her phone automatically, but then she notices the heavy hardcover sitting on the counter next to it. She picks up the book instead.

Rosa had grabbed it on a whim as they were leaving the convention. Jake was right, the character on the front cover looked exactly like her and so – look, she’d been curious.

Now, she flips open the cover to read the plot description on the inside jacket. The main character’s name is Xiomara Axis and she’s a natural-born truth-seeker who was abandoned at birth and raised by a blind beggar named Ishara in the slums of Devols’r. It’s even worse than Rosa imagined. She folds the book open anyway and tucks into her leftover chicken and rice.

+++

Rosa’s parents were insistent that their girls be bilingual, and so they only ever spoke Spanish to their daughters when they were young. Rosa appreciates that now – her Spanish isn’t flawless, but it’s pretty damn close – but the first few years of grade school were rough. She’d already learned to read in Spanish at home but her English was almost nonexistent and she hated being so far behind everyone else. She hated silent reading time when she had to pick her way through the worn, sticky pages of the readers everyone else had burned through, and she hated the shelves full of real books at the back of the classrooms, mocking her with titles she could barely decipher.

But when she did finally crack the English – Rosa doesn’t say or think this lightly, but it was friggin’ magical. Rosa tore through books, read her way through practically the entire school library (which, admittedly, was just a one-room portable) and then got her own card to the neighborhood branch of the public library.

She read all of the worst young adult romances of the ‘80s and ‘90s, and every dumbass Babysitters Club book (though she’s since swiped her mind clean of all of them), and everything by Anne Rice and VC Andrews and Judy Blume and Lois Lowry. She was especially drawn to fantasy novels, anything based in entirely original worlds that she could get lost in. Her favorite was The Song of the Lioness series, which she read at least three times through, because here, at last, a girl was the hero.

But by middle school Rosa had decided that even Alanna of Trebond – the red-haired and fair-skinned protagonist who tried so hard for so long to hide who she really was – didn’t belong to her, a Latina born to immigrant parents who, at age 14, already knew exactly who she was but had no idea what to do with that person. Rosa was angry at 14, already hard-headed and independent. She was fed up with white girls and white boys and white men, for fuck’s sake, telling her story.

So she stopped reading. Rosa decided that she needed to live in the real world and not her fantasy novels if she was going to figure out her place.

Over the years, she’d pick up a dumb summer beach read now and again. She plowed through nonfiction books when she came across a new subject she needed to learn all about. She even briefly majored in “ethnic” literature in college before realizing it was totally insulting that anything non-white just got lumped together.

But otherwise – well, fantasy was best left to children, she’d decided a long time ago.

+++

Rosa’s dinner goes cold as she blazes through the first three chapters of The Crimson Portal. At the end of the third chapter – The C’y’thian Denizens – she lays the book flat on the kitchen table so she can pack the chicken and rice back into a tupperware bowl. She grabs a diet soda and a bag of Pirate’s Booty stashed in the back of her pantry instead, and she takes the book and the popcorn and the drink to her living room and curls up on her sofa, socked feet pulled up under her legs and a blanket in her lap.

She can’t remember the last time she just indulged in a book. Not since she was a child, for sure. She reads for hours, well after her bedtime, pausing only to take out her contacts and change into pajamas, and later to crawl into bed, where she keeps reading under the orange glow of her bedside lamp.

Xiomara is mean and hilarious. She’s a fierce protector and a ruthless revenge-seeker and she’s smart in a way that’s useful in her adventure-seeking life. She speaks three languages – the one of her birth, the one of her youth, and the one that was an unexpected side effect of the time she was poisoned by the Liars of Dollomar – and is proud of the heritage that unspools before her as she seeks the Ancient Forbidden Rings.

Xiomara knows herself. And if the rest of her world doesn’t understand her, that’s their problem. Rosa is in love.

She finally closes the book, sliding a slim razor between the pages to mark her place, when her eyes are aching and her concentration is so shot that she knows she’ll probably have to reread the last chapter or two in the morning. She sets the book on her nightstand and turns off the lamp, and when she closes her eyes, she sees herself: tall, proud, wild hair flying all about, black eyes bright and eager even as the world burns all around her.

She smiles as she slips off to sleep.

End Notes:

Title is from Bikini Babe Workout (Bash Brothers).

The Skyfire episodes aren’t my favorites, but I love the idea of Rosa realizing that her doppelganger is the hero of a fantasy novel. And I love even more that she reads the book and totally digs it.

I haven’t actually read The Song of the Lioness (what I have here is from Wikipedia) so if I got something horribly wrong – I’m sorry? Please feel free to let me know and I’ll make revisions.

[geekygoddesss]

special

Summary: a weekend getaway that brings memorable and new experiences.

Words: 5k

Being with Ashton made me feel different.

I don’t know when I realized it or how, but I just knew it, being with him made me feel like a new me, a better me, he made me want to better version of myself every day.

Not only in a sentimental way, but there was also something about him that made me feel good in a spiritual way, my soul felt calm around him and my mind felt free, I could be me without worrying about any judgment around me and that is what I loved the most about being around him.

Being with Ashton brought something in me that made me feel right.

These last few days were a full-proof of that. This getaway has helped me clear my head in ways I could have never imagined.

If you asked me a week ago if I would have thought I would be sleeping in a trailer in the middle of the woods with my five month boyfriend and without feeling any kind of tension, I would have told you that seemed like a lie, because going out camping was not something I had in my plans at all.

Coming out here was a little bit of a process and we definitely went through some phases until I finally got the courage to step out of my box and be with him, because the truth is, I only did this because of him.  

At first when he suggested this getaway I laughed, I had way too many things to do and little time to get my head organized enough to even think of a proper break, he worked on my agenda for me and found the perfect gap for us to go somewhere alone for three days, I denied the offer, he insisted, and this went on until I had my bags packed and we made our way outside the state and into the depths of the woods, once he had the plan in mind no one would be able to take it away, all he wanted was an escape from the real world with me and we got it, took a bit of work but we got it. I couldn’t even be mad at the fact I was almost forced to come here because this was beautiful.

Certainly, one of the best idea Ashton has had in a long time.

Although I was never expecting him to actually pick up a trailer and drive us into the very middle of nowhere, I had to admit, I was liking this more than I imagined and this just seemed like the perfect place for us to be free and do whatever we wanted. Of course, we never drove a lot farther than the camping station allowed us or too far from actual civilization (in case something happened) just far enough for no one to find us too easily and have the time of our lives.

I was living for it at its fullest.

The first day was weird, that’s the best I can do to describe it, for all of the things we could have been doing that day I certainly was not expecting it to end the way it did. We tried fishing for the first time and it was certainly interesting, I always wanted to fish, it’s something I wanted to try as a child and for one reason or another it never came to happen and this time it did. He rented a boat and we went into the lake, it was also the first time he ever drove a boat or fished so the outcome was not really surprising to me. We caught one small fish (a total success if you ask me) and that was it for the day, we weren’t good but we did out best, although, we certainly had such a good time while doing it.

Even when camping was not my thing (or his) we managed to get through it really well.

Second day was different, this time he thought it was a good idea to go for a hike, thing that I did not even think about twice before saying yes because I was completely eager to see more of this place, it was beautiful and I just wanted to see as much as I could while we were here. Funny enough, we almost got lost, but it was worth it, the view was something to remember.

By the time we were up, I was tired and sweaty but that did not stop me one bit from taking out my camera and framing everything, I wanted to remember every single detail about this place and this moment. Those were one of the best pictures I have taken, ever.

The third day, it’s today, our last day here and this day has been nothing but perfect and I am not sure if I want it to ever end. I was having the time of my life.

It all started from a perfect point in the day, where I woke up to Ashton on the little kitchen perfectly placed in that trailer and the smell of fresh pancakes all around, I loved pancakes; this feeling of happiness and pure calm stayed with me all throughout the day, from the second I opened my eyes to the afternoon when we left for a couple hours, took a moment to enjoy the sun of the day before setting up a barbecue and then ended up here, on the insides of the trailer and enjoying the chilly end of the day, there in the warmth of each other, it was perfect.

I could see the sun setting through the curtains of the trailer and feel the chilly air sneaking on through the slot in the window. We both laying on the bed and watching a movie, one of my favorite movies, It was not my turn to choose but he gave me the honors, it was only a subtle touch that made this even more perfect. We had popcorn all over us, the screen right in front of our faces and our bodies close together, it was evident that the two of us were in our perfect relaxation point, the ideal one, the one I love the most and I just don’t want this day to end yet.

My head laid on his chest and he held me in his arms at every moment, his fingers playing with mine absentmindedly as he watched the movie, concentrating enough on the film but still making sure to give me attention, not letting me forget about his presence. But that was just impossible.

I could feel his breath raising up and then down, the sound of his heartbeat made my body relax in ways I didn’t know I needed and by the second it just became harder and harder to concentrate on what was happening on the screen in front of me, I was lost in all of him and all I wished for as the seconds passed was to immerse myself in him and made him feel all of the love.

He deserves all of it.

I look at his face for a brief second, take a look at his features, his lips, his eyes, the curve of his nose, everything, I wanted to be able to remember every single thing around me, I was not ready to let this past couple of days go and if I had to do that, I just wanted to be able to take in as much as I can.

I think I stare at him for longer than I anticipated but there is some distracting factor in him that makes me go lost so easily, if anything, it’s not my fault, it's his. I notice I stared for too long when his face turns in my direction and stares back at me.

There was a serious face on him at first, but as he took one good look at my eyes, his face slowly lit up and cracked one beautiful smile for me, I could feel my cheeks heat up slowly as we made some intense eye contact, my hands shook a little and my lips trembled ever so slightly, even when we have been dating for quite a while now, he still makes me this nervous.

“What?” He asked, a little chuckle leaving his lips.

I shook my head. “Nothing” I said shrugging “Do I need a reason to look at my boyfriend? You’re handsome, Did you know that?”

I take the viable option to be my sarcastic self for a second, hoping this would be a good cover up for my nervous mood.

“I’ve been told, once or twice,” he says in that proud sassy tone he would usually use now “You’re supposed to be watching the movie” he bumped my nose with the tip of his fingers.

“You’re distracting me” I fake whined, pouting as I hugged myself to him.

“Oh, I’m distracting?” He chuckles, holding me close in his arms as I hide my face in the crook of his neck.

“Yes” I say, leaving little kisses all around and eventually stopping to take a short look at his face “Can you stop being so handsome?”

He smiled, acted like if he was really thinking about it and then shrugged “Nah, it’s too fun” he said, finding his way to my lips and pecking them shortly “Can you stop being so adorable?”

I chuckle “No, because you like it” I smiled.

We were just cheesy like this and we were more than happy to keep going until we got a toothache from how sweet we could get. I did not mind one bit.

“Can’t say I don’t” he admits, caressing my cheek with the back of his hand and kissing it softly.

He shifts on his position, not caring about the movie any longer and making sure I could look at him straight as we talked. He decided to rest his weight over his forearm as I laid under him on the bed, getting the perfect view of his face staring down at me with that sweet smile.

“Is it weird that I don’t want to leave yet?” I say, resting my body completely on the bed as he looked down at me with close attention.

He takes a good and quick look at the place before turning back to me “No, I don’t blame you”  he said sighing, his lips pressing together a little “I don’t want to leave either” he admitted.

I pout, lift myself just a tiny bit to be at his level and bump my nose with him just a little, keeping my voice as a whisper as I say “Let’s stay one more day”

He pouts back at me “you’re making me feel bad” he said rubbing the tips of our noses together “We can’t” he says brushing his lips with mine ever so slightly in a subtle touch.

“I know” I said lifting my hand to caress his cheek, giving up on the thought that we will soon have to back to our regular boring life. I shrugged “We tried though”

He chuckled for some reason, kissed my lips softly and leaned into my touch as my thumb moved over his stubble “You’re adorable” he said in a deep scratchy tone that made my bones shiver for a small second.

He was the one starting it, I just went with the flow.

The first thing that I feel on me is the weight of his lips over mine and the way they moved together so fluently in a delicious kiss, sharing soft touches and transmitting pure love with every touch, sending butterflies flying straight to my stomach and making me want more with each kiss. I loved the way his lips feel, that’s why the moment his tongue slides slowly into my mouth, I make sure to keep him there, close to me, my hand flying to the back of his head and caressing the short strands of hair that went all the way down to his neck.

It was all moving too fast.

One second we were laying there on the bed kissing, wearing our lips out in that kiss. The next second, I realized what was actually going on and how the tension between us was changing from all sudden and I did not know how to feel with that because there was no turning back now. His body language told me a lot.

He was helping me rest my body on the bed entirely and climbing over me, looking for the best position for both us to be so we could be close to the other at every moment. I don’t even notice when his hands travel straight to my hips and his lips leave mine, but I do notice the whine that comes out of my lips after that and the way his lips travel from my cheek to my neck, sucking in lightly and ticking me ever so slightly. It was a beautiful sensation, it made me feel things that I didn’t know I could feel. I don’t notice either how he moves my hair to the side to gain more access but somehow and without me asking for it, I notice the way his hands make his way up my body and to my stomach in a slow motion, almost asking for permission, but he doesn’t need any, he knows that.

I love the way his skin feels against mine, or at least I think I do because of the way he holds me and touches me makes my heart go to a million beats per hour, literally.

The feeling of his hands sliding down my shirt is slightly unfamiliar and I know exactly what it means, but the second my heart rushes as much as it does, I try to make sure my body it’s in total calm, this had to happen sometime, maybe this was it and I had to make my best to be chill about it. I failed.

My heart beats really fast, almost to the point that I feel it is going to burst at any moment and I have no idea where is that coming from.

He keeps kissing me and I let him, do not misunderstand me, I like him, I like this a lot, but this is making me feel weird and totally out of my comfort zone, I have no idea if that it’s good or bad. He clearly does not realize how I am feeling because his hands keep traveling down my body absentmindedly, sliding my shirt up and making this moment more intimate.

This is the kind of moments that should make me relax, disconnect from the world and feel better with myself, but right now it only feels like it’s making something ignite in me.

I feel like if my breath is being cut off from my lunges. The moment I feel like the air is leaving my body, the moment I realize this is what a panic attack looks like and I have no idea what is wrong with me. Before he can ask me a single question or notice how I’m getting, I am moving him off my body and escaping, I can’t take it.

It’s too soon.

I can’t do it.

This is not me.

I ran to the bathroom, is the only logical and close enough space where I could feel like I could breathe, even when ironically enough, this place was smaller than a nightstand cabinet, but I would not be able to find enough privacy anywhere else, giving the fact that we are in the middle of the woods and going out there alone it’s not an option.

I just need a second to put myself together, that’s all.

“(Y/n)!” His voice calls me, his steps getting closer to where I am at and sounding extremely worried.

The sound of his voice made my stomach stir and not in a good way. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.

I have spend most of my life mentalizing myself about this particular moment, how it will happen, when it will happen, what to do, how to act, what I should be aware of, all of those facts that will lead me to a great and safe experience that will mark me for the rest of my life . None of my expectations have come and that was something that was eating me alive.

Not that I felt unsure of myself because I was the only one in my friend group that had not lived up this experience, but even when I knew I was prepared for it, that did not mean I was ready. The thought of it happening made me feel strange and now that It was about to happen, something ignited in me, some strange feeling deep down in my brain, that feeling that told me even when I thought I was ready, turns out, I am just as unready as I have always been.

Now I should be able to say it out loud without panicking.

I sat at the toilet and tried to calm my breathing just as the same time I felt my heartbeat go down to a normal pace and slowly felt like my body was going back to normal and finally getting some peace after that big storm. Oddly enough, the first thing that comes to my mind for me to calm myself down, it’s him, I always find my happy place in him; even after what happened, the thought of his touch of mine, the words he has said to me before, the deep feeling of love he transmitted to me, those are things that made me feel home and that soon enough to bring me back in my normal state and making me feel better with the pass of time.

I don’t know how much it has passed but it has probably been a couple of minutes, because as my body goes back to normal and I try to focus to feel better again, I hear him at the other side of that wall, banging on the door and sounding worried.

“Are you okay?” he asked a million times from now as he knocked on the door.

I hate to make him feel bad because of me, I hate to know that I made him worry, I wish I could fix it.

“I’m sorry” I said in a small rush, my voice starting to crack once my body stopped shaking but now welcoming a big set of tears coming my way and letting out a big sob once the tears started to fall.   “Open the door right now” he said and it was order.

I wanted to do it, i really wanted to, but I couldn’t get my body to move or function properly, I need a second. Just a second and I’ll be good as new (barely), I just want to be myself when I actually have to face him.

“This is freaking me out, please (Y/n)” he begged me, now knocking on the door a lot harder “can you at least tell me what the hell did I do?” He asked again, but this time changing it up a little and wiggling on the door knob “Open the door” he begged, going in harder “I’m not leaving until you tell me what’s happening” He was clearly packing and I don’t blame him (I kind of am too), but after such a dramatic scene that happened out of nothing, the best thing he can do right now it’s worry and make sure that I am okay, and seeing the situation right now, the fact that I am sitting alone on a locked bathroom and in the middle of a panic attack isn’t helping my case, there is something seriously wrong with me and all he wants to do it’s fix it. I wish I could just let him do that easily, but there is something in me that it’s not letting me do such a thing.

“I am so sorry” I say again, drowning down a sob as the tears fall on my face and I cover my mouth with both of my hands.

“Hey, it’s okay” I hear him say with a softer voice now, this is when he knew it might have been worse than he thought it would be “Are you crying?”

I can barely gather the courage to answer to that, another sob cuts through me.

I feel my breathing starting to become heavy once again, just by the powers of my thoughts but this time I don’t let them lead me the way they did a while ago, I take a deep breath, put myself together and get up, sooner or later I had to face it and I would rather this to happen now before something could get any worse.

I open the door to him. He storms inside like if he was in a hurry and looking down at my tear stained face, his face turns to a clear frown, he reaches up to me almost as an instinct, rubs my bare shoulders with his hands as he tries to calm me down just a little, but instead another sob comes out of my lips and I find myself looking down, hiding from him, suddenly being too ashamed to face what’s to come. “I’m sorry” I say in a little voice, shaking my head as if I could shake this horrible feeling away, but it is not that easy.

“Don’t apologize, please, there’s no need to” He said, rubbing my shoulder softly as he made his very best to calm me down “What did I do? Babe, I am sorry, If I touched or said something that got you like this, I am extremely sorry” he said rushing his words to make himself clear, I could see he is taking all the fault in this. “You didn’t do anything” I let him know, speaking in my clearest worst “This is all me, Ash, I’m so sorry” I cried even more, hugging myself to his body tightly and letting it all out.

He took me in his arms, awfully confused on what was going on that has got me like this if it was not something he did or said, this time it is all be and this is certainly not normal at all. “Okay...” he said in a mumble trying to understand “Don’t cry, if you cry, I’ll cry” he said softly, kissing the crown of my head repeatedly and rocking my body, making me know I was not alone in this and that he would be here until I felt better.

I take a deep breath and do my best to explain myself.

“I can’t” I simply say, taking some distance from him so I could talk but still the words did not come out easy “I just can’t do it”

What else could I say beside that?. I was barely explaining something but it was really the only thing I could say just to put it out there a lot easier. “Do what, Baby?” he asks me, not asking more than just that and letting it up to me to answer whatever I thought it was right, but there is not much things I could say besides the truth, because it was the only thing that was been following me like a ghost ever since I was a teenager and I just wanted to be able to say it out loud.

So I just say it. “I’m a virgin” I finally say, the one thing that always came hard for me to admit was finally coming out of my lips and I did not know how to handle the rest. He was silent for a second, his silence terrified me, not only because I was not a mind reader and it was very hard for me to even tell what he was about to say but also because I was afraid that his response would not be any good, I was just so afraid this might be the thing that would ruin us.

“What?” he asked, just to be clear that he did not heard me wrong. The words in my mouth struggle to get out and I have to look down as I give it another go “I have never...” I say, starting to say something but barely getting something clear out, I can’t help it but break to cry again “I’m sorry”

I hug myself to him again, letting all of my embarrassment and harsh feelings out in a bunch of tears as my stupid truth came out. This almost felt like if I was making sure he would not run away from me like other people have done in the past, because in my head that is the movie that always plays and ends up happening in real life, I always fail and it is all because of me.

“Hey, Don’t apologize,” he said, hugging me even closer and rubbing my back softly  “Babe” he calls for me, but I don’t answer, for some reason I just keep sobbing on his chest at the sea of thoughts in my head “Why didn’t you tell me?”

Even that it’s hard to explain now.

“I was scared” I said, cleaning my falling tears with the fabric of his shirt and making my best to look up at him “I didn’t want you to think less of me, I’m sorry” I see him frowning at me again but this time it’s different, this time he isn’t concerned or worried or anything, he was just confused and trying to understand me.

“I could never” he says to me in soft clear words, making sure I knew that he understood me “You should have told me, I don’t mind” he says, brushing a falling tear out of my face “it’s okay”

I sniffed, now for the first time feeling myself calm down because this was really not as bad as I expected it to be, in fact, this is the first time someone really showed some kind of understanding to my situation.

He looks down at me now and shows me a smile, one smile that tell me everything it’s going to be okay. I try to smile back, but at a grin starts appearing on my face an involuntary sob comes out of my mouth again and I find myself hiding in him once again.

“I’m crying like an idiot” I say, trying to laugh but coming out as more of a sob.

He shakes his head “You’re fine” he assures me.

I am too distracted to notice, but as I let all my tears drain out, he takes the liberty to move both of us from our spot and sit on the closed toilet, pulling me on his lap so we would be more comfortable.

“Can we talk about this?” He asks once he could sense I was calm enough “Why didn’t you tell me, huh?”

I felt my cheeks burn even more to that question, I wish I had a real reason for that, but my reasons for this would always be just as dumb as they have always been.

“I don’t know” I said in a mumble as I shrugged  “I know you’ve been with lots of girls and now you’re with me, I didn’t want you to think I was clueless and pathetic” I confessed, feeling too embarrassed now to even continue.

He is frowning once again. “Why would I think that?” He asks, now with more concern. I shake

my head, at this point, I don’t know anything anymore. He sighs “Babe, this is not a problem, at all, this changes nothing” he makes clear “I think the same thing I have thought about you ever since I met you, you’re beautiful, the nicest person I have ever met and I love you, this changes nothing”

His words calm me down to another level, this is just the thing I wanted to hear from him. That is not wrong, that it’s okay, that he understood. This is all I wanted.

“Thanks” I said in a small voice, making my best to show him a smile “I’m sorry for not telling you, I just figured it would be better if I just...” I started trying to find the right words “... went with the flow”

His lips were pressed together, he was looking at me way too serious for my liking.

“Were you planning to tell me?” He asked me.

My first instinct is to lie and say I was planning on telling him, but I shall be honest with him so I shook my head no, thing that he takes a bit personally and I see he does the second his hand flies to his chest and he says “I’m offended” I close my eyes tight “Ash” “I’m not serious” he says before I could have another breakdown after I finally calmed down.

He takes a second to answer and I can see he has something to say to me just as things about the right thing to say. His hands lay over mine and caress them softly and after a couple of minutes, when he raises his look to me and makes contact with my eyes, it’s like the world stops around me. This is just the effect he has on me.

“Listen to me” he says, now with a more serious tone “Losing your virginity is something you should not take for granted“ he starts “If I had known since the beginning about this things would have been very different, okay? But the last thing I would have done it's change my mind about you, I would never, this changes nothing” he says to me in clear words as he caresses my cheek with the back of his hand “This is completely your decision, if you decide you wanna do it now I will be there for you, if you don’t, I respect that, if you don’t want it to be me, I respect that too, but I want you to understand, this is something big, you should have told me about since the beginning” I nod, understanding every single but of what he said “I’m sorry” I said, my voice breaking a little “I thought it would just be better if I worked myself around it” I shrugged  “I’m 22 and I’m still a virgin, if that isn’t embarrassing I don’t know what is” I said, trying to sound at least a little funny but failing. I look down, suddenly feeling way too embarrassed and trying to make my voice steady as I ask “You aren’t mad, are you?” He shakes his head back at me, leans forward to kiss my forehead and mumbles a quiet “No” he says, kissing me on the cheek right after “I want you to have fun on your first time, okay? I want you to be able to feel yourself, feel loved, enjoy it, have a good memory, this should be special, not just in a trailer and in the middle of nowhere, that’s not fair for you, you deserve better”

I blush again, for the first time in a little while, I am not so afraid to look up at him, so I give myself some courage and look at him the eye.

“What are you trying to say?” I mumble in small words.

“I’m saying” he says look around the room and pointing at the place “Clearly, this is not the right time” he points out “When you are ready, tell me right away and I will make sure to make it special, I’ll take it slow, make sure your comfortable, just let me be ready for it, alright?”

I nod, again, completely understanding what his point is and I agree.

I am completely sure about this and I know I want him to be the first home to lead me through this, the fact that he cares so much about making this special to me means the world and I just know I love him more than ever now that I see he truly cares about me. This is not about sex or pleasure or release, this is about love, a milestone, he wants it to be memorable and good, just by that, he is just making me fall in love more and more.

“I want it to be you, I wouldn’t ask for someone else” I confess, now showing a true smile that said, everything is okay. I raised my hand touched his scruffy cheek lightly and pressed my forehead to his “You’re so special to me, did you know that?” I said softly. He nods and when he is just about to say something, I kiss him, pressing our lips together ever so slightly and whispering “Thank you” He smiles “Thank you for trusting me”

Oh, I wouldn’t trust anyone more than him, just in a few months, he has shown me more than anyone has ever shown me before and every time I was more convinced that I have finally found my one and only. I wanted to make sure I did the same for him and more, he deserved the world on a silver platter.

Now this time it’s official, this man has me head over heels and this event has shown me how much it didn’t matter how your past love experiences were, the only thing that counts it’s if your one and only gets you and it’s willing to go with you through anything. That’s all that matter.

Trust me, I feel like the luckiest woman in the world.

[rami-writes-blog]

Someone like... Me? - Part 5 (Fem Reader x Rami Malek + Gwilym Lee)

Just when you thought you could actually forgive Rami for what happened and things are turning around for the good for you two, it looks like he wasn't that sincere after all.. Or does it only look like he wasn't? There are so many unanswered questions, still and again. What excuse does he have this time? Will it even be an excuse? Maybe you just make it worse than it is, looking for things that aren't there.. Implying there are things between him and Lucy that maybe aren't even there. Everything is real, but not as it seems.

Wordcount: +1,4 k

Warnings: none

--------------------------------------

I can't fucking believe this. ''Are you fucking serious?'' I yell in disbelieve. I immediately get up and put myself in a bathrobe. Being far beyond ashamed at this moment. ''What's wrong?'' He's sincerely shocked. ''Well, you're girlfriend wants to know if you're home alone tonight''. I'm so hurt at this moment. How could I be so stupid?

''She's not my girlfriend Amy - wha''. He puts on a bathrobe too. ''Then I'm dying to hear the voicemail she sent you?'' He doesn't want to let me listen because he insists it has nothing to do with me. That she can't let things go and she keeps bothering him. Tears fill my eyes as I storm off to the bedroom to get myself dressed, locking the door behind me.

Gwil – will you please come and pick me up? I text Gwil. It doesn't take him longer than a few seconds to answer. Be there in 5.

Rami's still pounding on the door. ''Amy please let me in''. ''I swear it's not what you think''. I open the door. Tears streaming down my face, and I have never been so embarrassed before. ''It never is what I think and yet..''. He tries to get closer and comfort me ''don't you dare come closer'' I can't have him coming close, it's my weakness. ''Baby please don't cry let me ex-''. At that moment the doorbell rings a couple of times. Shit. Gwil is really angry. It normally is a ten minute drive but it's been only 5 minutes or so, so he must've hit the paddle to here.

''Baby please don't leave''. Rami begs me. ''Please don't come after me, text me or call me'' I really need some time to think. He tries talking me out of it. At this moment I just need space, I can't think rational anymore, I don't know what to think of it. So before we both do any more damage, I need to leave and clear my head. I open the door and at that moment Gwil comes flying in, ready to beat Rami in the face. He already knows something happened because otherwise I wouldn't have texted him. ''No need Gwil. Please.. Let's just go''. Rami's not planning on backing down either.

Together with Gwil I walk towards his car. By the way he makes large steps, his short breaths and his clenched fist I can tell he's angry. Really angry. I cry. And cry. And cry. He doesn't say a thing. He doesn't ask, he doesn't talk.. he knows words don't do justice. All I need. And as we drive off he just grabs my hand, giving me a comforting look. He's just here for me and at this moment it's all I need. I just look outside the window, waiting for him to pull up on my driveway and as he walks me to my frontdoor I ask him if Joe's with him. ''No, he just went home a couple of minutes before you texted''.

I uncomfortable fiddle my fingers. ''Will you... Will you please stay with me tonight? I really don't want to be alone tonight''. ''Sure Amy'' he nods.

''I'm not tired yet'' I tell him. And besides, I'm not really in a shape to go to sleep yet. ''Why don't we watch a movie or something?''. I think it's a great idea and just like that he puts on his coat. I usually watch Netflix or something but there's still a video store down the road and if Gwil and I make it a movie night together, we always rent our movies there. ''I really feel like watching The Lucky One if you want?''. ''You know I love watching every movie so I'm okay with really anything'' he says and just like that he's gone.

I decide to hop in the shower really quickly first. I don't feel like washing my hair so it's just a quick wash. I get out after a few minutes and get in my PJ's. When I'm about to pop a bottle of wine open, Gwil comes walking in. With him a white grocery bag and two pizza's. ''Thought you might be hungry'' he says with a grin.

I install everything as he too gets into some more comfortable clothes. I always have some clothes from him hanging around since he and I hang out quite a lot. For occasions like this, that when he stays over without us planning to, he still has some stuff. He's way too tall to fit in anything of mine. Or Rami's for that matter.

Together we crawl onto the couch, eating pizza, drinking some wine, making popcorn.. We both just enjoy it like it is and haven't talked about Rami since it happened. When he puts his feet on the table I decide to lay down, using his lap as my pillow. Soon I can feel my eyelids getting heavier but I really don't want to go to bed yet. The sound of my TV starts fading more and more to the background and before I know it I doze off, falling asleep. With my mind everywhere except with Rami..

* * * * * * *

GWIL

As I get dressed into my PJ's in her bedroom, I notice she has a little picture of her and Rami on her night cabine. It's quite cute, I think from a few months ago. They both have big smile on their faces. They're in a pool. He's spattering the pool water towards her and she looks so careless. So free. So happy. This douchebag doesn't deserve her. Especially after what he pulled on her tonight. Whatever it may have been. She was so upset and I wonder so badly what has happened. But I know she isn't a talker and I want her to tell me when she's ready to talk about it. For now she just needs some happy time to take her mind off of things.

When I enter the living room she already pore us two glasses of wine, popped some popcorn, pizza's on the table and the movie was ready to begin. As soon as we finish our pizza's I throw away the boxes, poring us some more wine. She's so caught up in her movie and food, that she hasn't looked on her phone once. When I'm next to her again, I put my feet on the table. It's much more comfortable if you have long legs like me. Like she waited for me to do so, she put her head in my lap, using it as pillow. She lays like that for half an hour before I notice her heavy breathing.. She fell sleep. She's so peaceful. I stroke her hair a bit before I remind myself I shouldn't. She loves Rami and me doing all these things. It'd only brake my own heart more. I wish she'd notice how much I love her. That she should be with me.. Not him. I may not have much materialistic stuff to give, but I'd give her anything I have, I'd give her the world..

I quietly get up and lay her head on a pillow so she doesn't wake up. I see her phone lighting up and I can't help but look at it. A lot of missed calls from Rami, lots of voicemails.. Lots of texts. I decide to text him with my phone.. 'She's with me. Stop texting or calling. She'll come to you when she has everything figured out'. I don't wait for a respond and just take a blanket and put it on her. When I'm about to walk away to go to bed, I hear her murmur: ''No''. I stop. Is she talking to me or is she dreaming? ''Please don't leave again I need you. Please stay''. She's whining. I don't know if it's a bad dream or maybe she's awake? But I don't mind – she clearly doesn't want to be alone.. So I do as she wants and crawl underneath the blanket, behind her onto the couch. Before I know it, I too fall asleep.

[spideymood]

Can I please request an imagine where you go on holidays with your siblings and met Sam in France and hit it off and stuff and gives you personal lessons and just wants to spend time with you, and then he's on the phone to tom Harry & paddy and he's talking about you and you over hear the conversation :)

Je t’aime - Sam Holland

Summary: The same as the request…by @aussie-mantle​

Words count: 2,684.  woah, longer than planned lol 

Author’s Note: Oxygen Magnesium (OMG, scientific cursing haha, I’m literally a dork)! Thanks for the request! I fell in love with the idea immediately! Feel free to send in another one if you want ;) Nora xx

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«Bonjour, comment ça va?» You mumbled. The sight of the snowy mountains was breathtaking. France, the world-known country. Your family had decided to take a trip to La Rosière, a ski resort in France, to celebrate Christmas. You and your siblings had been excited about the trip since you found out. For weeks, your sisters had tried to learn some word of the romantic language, French. Suddenly, you wished you had decided to learn French instead of Spanish. «Les Montagnes sont jolies!» 

«Oui!» your older sister, Amber, exclaimed. You were the youngest girl in the family, with two older sisters and your parents. You hadn’t seen your oldest sister, Samantha, since August because she studied at college. 

You sat on the left side in the passenger’s seat in a car your parents rented. Looking out of the window, you could see the mountains covered by snow. It was a wonderful view, and you couldn’t wait to learn more skiing. You were to focused on the mountains, that you were shocked when you found out you had arrived the ski resort. 

Your parents left the car to the hobby, to pick up the keys to your rented cabin. You and your sister remained in the car. You decided to go out and stretch your legs. The air was cold, and your hands froze immediately. You went some steps while trying to find your gloves in your pocket, then someone hit you. You fell down on the cold and snowy ground. «Ouch!»

«Oh, pardon…..ugh…I’m sorry. I was in a hurry and didn’t see you.» A guy excused. British, he had a British accent. You had a soft spot for Brits and their accent. He grabbed your hand and lifted you up. His face was only inches away from yours. The mystery guy had brown hair and chocolate coloured eyes. His face was covered in freckles. «Forgive me.»

«No, It wasn’t your fault, I didn’t see where I was going.» You smiled at the cute guy. You took a step back. The guy still held your hand but didn’t notice. «I’m (your name).»

The guy took some seconds before he realized he hadn’t said anything back. «I’m Sam.» He smiled and tried to shake your hand when he realized he still held your hand. Sam let go of your arm right away. You both blushed. «I’ll hope to meet you another time, dear,» Sam said before he went on his way towards the lobby. You stood frozen on the spot, trying to figure out what just had happened. 

«Ooo, who was that guy?» Your sister Samantha teased. You pouted in response and went to the car again. Amber and Samantha teased you about Sam until your parents arrived back to the car with the keys. 

Through the rest of the day, Sam kept popping up in your mind. There was no doubt he was handsome, but he seemed like a really nice guy. You hoped to meet him again soon.

On the other side of the ski resort, Sam sat with his colleagues eating late dinner. He was a ski instructor and had been occupied by work. While his friends were joking around, Sam kept thinking about the girl he had bumped into earlier. He felt sparks inside him by thinking about her.

«Are you ready for skiing?!» your sisters screamed the next morning. Samantha and Amber loved to wake you up by screaming into your ear, and it was their favourite way to wake you up. 

Your parents had assigned you and your sisters up for skiing lessons, and unfortunately, they started at 10 am. Due to the jet-lag, it felt like waking up in the middle of the night. Easily said, you were not happy but very grumpy. 

You had been assigned to a group of four persons with the instructor called Ben. It had been years since you were skiing, but you did not remember anything. You kept falling and colliding on trees, even Ben face-palmed. He had no clue how to teach you. 

After a long and tiring day of training, you still managed to fall every three seconds on the skis. You knew you were horrible, and so did your sisters. Amber and Samantha was some of your best friends, but also worst enemies when they teased you. You sat currently at a table in the lobby by the public fireplace, drinking hot chocolate. You were tired of your sisters teasing and decided to have some peaceful moments for yourself. 

On the corner on the other side, Sam sat with his friends and colleagues celebrating another day done. It was a week until Christmas and Sam missed his twin and family, but most his dog Tessa. 

Suddenly, he saw a glimpse of you sitting in an armchair by the fireplace. He stared at your beautiful face and admired how calm you looked. His friends later saw the brother of spider-man staring at a girl. «Dude, you gotta’ stop staring at her before it gets too creepy!» Sam laughed at his friend reference from his brother’s spider-man movie. 

«Woah, that girl is actually in my skiing class. She’s horrible, and I don’t know how to teach her.» Ben said, and the others around the table laughed. Sam didn’t even know you well but felt angry about how his friend mocked her. He left the table and went straight ahead towards you. His friends looked at him, wondering what he would do. 

«Hi, is it available here?» Sam asked you from behind. You were first shocked to hear his voice, but when you saw his face you relaxed. In response, you nodded and signalized him to sit on the couch next by. «Nice to meet you again, (your name).»

You smiled at Sam. «A pleasure to see you again, Sam. And sorry for yesterday, I didn’t mean bumping you.»

«No need to be sorry, love. Luckily, I didn’t come late to my skiing class.» Sam replied and rested on the couch. You looked confused at Sam. «I’m a trainer here, and I learn tourists how to ski!» He explained. You nodded back and went back to staring at the fire. 

«Are you going to spend Christmas here, Sam?» You asked. You didn’t mean to seem curious, but somehow you felt a bond with the British boy. 

«Yes, and all by myself, or well I have my friends and colleagues,» Sam smirked. «Work here doe really pay off, especially when I meet girls like you.» You blushed and smiled at his reply. «I was wondering if you would join me tomorrow, maybe skiing and lunch?» He suggested. 

Your smile faded, remembering you sucked at skiing. «I’d love to, but I’m horrible at skiing.» You said honestly. 

«Hey, I bet you’re not as bad as you think. And if so, I can learn you. I don’t have any classes tomorrow.» Sam suggested and tried to encourage you. 

You smiled and agreed. Even if you only had known him for less than an hour, unless the incident yesterday, you felt like you had known him for years. You and Sam had the same interests, and you could talk to each other for hours. He was perfect. 

The next day, he waited for you outside the lobby with skis and rods in his hands. He held his helmet in his left hand. He had waited for you, and he couldn’t wait to spend time with you. Sam had a feeling inside him, that every time you looked in his eyes, sparks would fly inside him. He didn’t know what the feeling was called but would learn later. 

Surprisingly, you were better at skiing that day. You didn’t fall often, and if you did, Sam would catch you in his arms. After some hours of skiing, you would take a break and have lunch in the cafe. He ordered tea, while you ordered hot chocolate. Days like that continued until Christmas Eve. 

When Christmas Eve arrived, you and Sam had spent a week together. During that time, you had learned about his family and sometimes he would face-time them with you. You were surprised when you found out that his brother acted as Spider-man in the new reboot, and you fangirled when you got the chance to talk to the Tom Holland via Sam. What surprised you the most, was that Sam had a twin. You had absolutely no idea.

Your parents and sisters had left to a Christmas party arranged by the resort. You had faked that you were sick so you could spend the eve in your cabin with Sam. In the beginning, your family didn’t want to leave you alone, but you were able to convince them to go to the party. 

You sat on a couch in the small and cozy living room. It was free in the fireplace to keep you warm, and blankets were carried down from the rooms to the main room. Sam arrived minutes later with some movies and a bag of sweets. The living room was full of blankets and pillows, ready for a movie night. 

The Christmas movie marathon started off with the Home Alone movies. You and Sam sat beside each other with a grand blanket over. A bowl of popcorn was settled in front of you on the table and the movie was ready. 

After watching the Home Alone 1 and 2, the Grinch and Elf; it was time to watch It’s a Wonderful Life. Even if you loved the movie, you felt really sleepy. In the middle of the movie, you ended up sleeping on Sam’s chest. Your head lifted as he breathed and he couldn’t stop staring at your peaceful face. Sam laced your hands to his and felt the warmth of your hands. 

Sam focus was on you. Even if you had known each other for only a week, he felt like he had known you for years. Then it hit him. What he felt for you, was love. Sam loved you, and he wasn’t scared. He wondered if you would return the same feelings as his. He kissed then your forehead. 

Boy, he had no idea about what you felt towards him. 

You and Sam fell asleep on the couch, with your head on his chest. When your family had arrived back home, and to their surprise, they found their daughter sleeping on an unknown boy. Only your sisters knew about Sam, but they didn’t know much. 

It was Christmas morning, so they didn’t wake you up immediately. Your father was shocked to see the boy, but with sisters like Amber and Samantha, he wasn’t shocked to see a boy. The boy got some bonus points since neither of you was naked, but just asleep after a movie marathon. 

An hour later, you woke up because your pillow moved. Firstly, you were alarmed. Pillows weren’t supposed to move. You opened your eyes to meet some chocolate brown eyes and a face full of freckles. You were first confused, but then remembered what happened last night. Just a Christmas movie marathon. 

«Darling, I need to go right now. I’ll come later.» Sam whispered and took the blanket from him. 

«Please don’t leave, Sammy!» You begged and grabbed his hand. You stared directly into his eyes. Sam nodded and sat down on the couch again. You leaned down on his chest again and wished the moment to last forever. 

Unfortunately, fate had other plans. Your family went into the room since they heard your voice. «So, (your name). Who is this young man?» Your father asked, strictly. He only talked in that way when he was angry at you. 

«Uhm, this is Sam. Sam this is my family!» You presented. Sam shook his hand with your father. You knew your father tried to seem intimidating since you had seen him do it on Amber and Samantha. The only one who didn’t get scared was Ambers girlfriend, and since then they had been dating.

«Merry Christmas morning, Mr. and Mrs. (your last name)!» Sam greeted formally. This was not how you expected the meeting between your parents and Sam would be. «I’m sorry to disturb your morning.»

«What a nice boy,» your mother mumbled to you, which only you could hear, «And British, huh.»

You blushed and was embarrassed by your parents. Then, Sam’s phone rang. It was his brothers who called him and probably to say Merry Christmas to their brother. «I’m sorry, but I have to take this phone call! Great to meet you!» Then he left the room to answer the phone call. 

«This is a very interesting morning, (your name). We are gone for a party, and when we come home, you’re sleeping on a boy.» Your father summed up. 

«But luckily for you, the boy is super cute!» Your mother exclaimed. «Why didn’t you tell us about him?»

You were still shocked that all of this was happening. You wished it was a dream, but wanted the part with Sam to be the reality. «I’m going to go to him and ask if he’s okay. Dad, why do you always try to be so intimidating?»

You left your family, searching for Sam. You later found him at the entrance where he talked to his brothers.  

«-you really like her, don’t ya? Bro, you need to ask her out!» A voice said, and you recognized it as the oldest Holland brother, Tom. You had learned that Sam had a habit of talking on the phone on speaker.

«Well, yes. I think I maybe love her, or…I don’t know. What if I fucked up, and maybe her family hates me?» Sam answered. You stood frozen, hiding behind a wall close enough to hear Sam’s conversation. Love?

«Hey, watch your language. There are children ears here!» Tom shouted back. 

«What! I’m thirteen Tom, and not a child! A teenager.» The youngest Holland, Paddy yelled over the phone. 

«Pfft, teenager, haha. Paddy that was a good joke!» Sam laughed. You had to cover your mouth from laughing. Paddy was so young and cute, and everyone treated him almost like a 7-year-old. 

«But back to the topic. Sam, just grow some fucking balls and ask her out!» Harry, Sam’s twin, exclaimed.  

Sam sighed. «Harry, it’s not as easy as you think!»

«Bro, go to her. Ask her out on a date. Aaaand done! Easy!» Tom answered sarcastically.

«Thanks, Tom,» Sam answered sarcastically back. 

«Ooo, just going to remind you that we replace you with Tuwaine. Seems like your ass is still in France.» Harry shouted.

«Merry Christmas, ya filthy animal!» Tom said, as a reference from Home Alone 2. 

«Please say Merry Christmas to mum and dad from me. Have a horrible day, brothers!» Then Sam ended the call. He was on his way towards the living room again but were stopped by you. 

Love. The powerful word, love. It was stuck in your head. Sam loved you. And you loved Sam back. 

You grabbed his hand and dragged him out the door. You got enough time to put on shoes before heading out into the winter wonderland. White dots float down from heaven. It was cold, but in Sam’s arm, you were warm. 

Before Sam could say anything, you placed your hands around his neck and leaned in to kiss. Sam was first shocked, but after some seconds he kissed back. He cupped his hands around your face and deepened the kiss. The kiss was strong and felt like something you had waited for in a long time. You kissed him with passion. You wanted to stay in that moment forever. 

«Je t’aime.» You whispered when you broke the kiss. «I love you, Sam.» 

Your head rested on Sam’s chest, and you hugged him tightly. «I love you too, (your name).» Then Sam leaned into another kiss. 

It was a beautiful sight, with snow everywhere and the most wonderful sunrise. Everything was perfect, and you couldn’t wait to start a chapter in our life with Sam. 

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@sunnywinchester1

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[thesocialfables]

Outside of Heaven's Hideaway, Echo stared up at the large neon marquee from behind the wheel of her Lamborghini Urus. For a quick moment, she smiled, thinking about the owner of the club and his inconsistencies. He couldn't afford to fix the ceiling in the locker rooms, but he managed to get a big ass LCD screen to show pictures of the girls you'd find inside the janky strip club.

Before covering her puffy eyes with a pair of shades and grabbing her bags, Echo looked over her Snapchat once more. Rolling her eyes at Lola's basic floor work, she managed to catch herself on the obnoxious marquee once again. Which wasn't hard considering she was in the slideshow more than any other girl. With a quick and nasty dismissive thought towards the couple living rent-free in her head, Echo pulled out her keys and packed them away with her phone before she headed inside the club. She chose to go through the front because she wanted to avoid everybody until she made her money for the night.

After being buzzed in to travel towards the locker rooms from the club’s lobby, Echo's heart warmed up a little, hearing those waiting to get in question if that was her or not. Then she heard Venus’s voice, as they passed each other in the small hall, say, "You really think you run shit, huh?" Venus stopped walked, so she could continue to speak to Echo, but behind her oversized Chanel frames, she just kept walking. To the woman’s back, Venus continued her conversation, "Well, since September covered you, you covering her next dance. You go on in fifteen."

"I don’t cover for nobody. I go on at 2." Echo replied back as she reached down into her Dior backpack to pull out the key to her private dressing room. As she slid the key into the lock, she paused for a moment, pressing her ear against the door. On the other side, she could hear a low voice and a quiet shuffling. "Oh, hell nah, " she thought to herself, pushing the door open and yelling, "Bitch, you got a lot of fucking nerves!"

Her suspicions of someone being inside her room were confirmed. However, it was only Echo's best friend, and another stripper at the club, Rhapsody. The girl had her feet kicked up as she carried on a conversation with herself. Echo’s voice had startled her so, the popcorn she was was snacking on flew around the room before she jumped up and quickly pulled the girl inside, closing the door behind them. "Girl, Lonzo been looking for you. I came in here hoping he'd think it was you."

Echo sighed in relief. As a veteran at Heaven’s, and the club's featured dancer, she did run shit. She started dancing when she was 19 and has been going hard for Alonzo and his Hideaway for the last ten years. From the moment you walked inside the club, you saw Echo. Every newcomer would ask if the girl in the pictures really worked here, and they never left disappointed after she emptied their pockets in the private rooms.

"And why you got on them big ass shades?" The two met here at Heaven's. Echo hated when other girls would say they loved Rhap 'for her confidence', not that it wasn't true. Rhapsody was good at her job because she kept her clients smiling. Even if it was just because she said something funny instead of giving them a lap dance. Echo hated it because it was usually their light skin, skinny waist, pretty bitch bias showing. But she was the mean girl.

Checking to make sure the door was locked behind her, Echo removed her shades for her bestie to see what she was hiding. Seeing the girl’s puffy-eyes and running mascara, Rhapsody immediately pulled Echo's 5'2" frame into her chocolate bosom. "FUCK FARGO!" She yelled loudly. As Echo attempted to pull away from her best friend's twins, she sympathized with victims of drowning. From in between Rhapsody's exposed tits, Echo chuckled a little before her tears began to fall once more. Feeling her tears roll freely down her stomach, Rhapsody knew Echo would rather be alone. Freeing her from their embrace, she watched the girl move away and begin to unpack her things for what was left of the night.

"I don't even understand why I keep crying. Or I why I even started," Echo spoke open handedly.  Knowing her friend was listening to her oncoming ramble, even as she started to clean up the popcorn she wasn’t supposed to have in Echo’s dressing room. "Me and him never even fucked. I just- I thought it was going to be more.” Leaning against the marble vanity of her wall-sized mirror, Echo avoided Rhapsody’s gentle gaze as she admitted, “I didn't cry when my Momma died.” As the words cleared her lips, Echo turned back towards the girl. Fighting back her tears, she continued to speak. “But- I don't know if it’s because I'm jealous, or if I'm sad, or if I'm just angry. I just- I can't stop fucking crying." Reaching out to fall back into her friend's embrace, Rhapsody covered her boobs with a nearby t-shirt and hugged her back tightly. She knew Echo’s tears had nothing to do with Fargo, or his new private dancer - Lola.

To survive in this life for ten years was a testimony. So many girls picked up this art form for the quick cash, only to end up ruined by it. Echo knew the only thing that kept her from experiencing the casualties of stripping was her praying mother. Before she passed, her mother wanted nothing more but for her to stop dancing. Yet, in the beginning, they needed the money. They had been struggling all of Echo's young life, so she accepted her daughter’s job as they finally made it out of the projects. In her last moments, as all her friends questioned what her little Dominique was up to now, she proudly bragged about how Echo changed their lives.

Maybe that's why she was crying because she never asked for Fargo's help or sympathy.  When she naturally refused and tried to push him away, he would tell her he wasn't offering because he thought she needed him. It was because he really wanted to be there for her. Either way, that was then, and this was now. She had obviously taken his words too literal, as he had now replaced her with Lola.

"Hey," Rhapsody comforted her friend, as she rubbed her hands across Echo's back. "Fuck Fargo. Fuck that bitch,  fuck them niggas with him, fuck Alonzo punk ass. Fuck everybody. Besides me...I mean, unless, you wanna fuck me."

In a healing fit of laughter, thanks to the one person she knew she could always count on, Echo wiped away her tears and prepared to get on stage. She really didn't want to just to prove her point. But since Rhapsody had been acting like she had been inside the room all night, Alonzo would soon enough be using the only other copy to the room to come check on her.

  Dressed in Savage x Fenty lingerie, with a matching garter and over-the-knee Balenciaga boots, the two women parted the hall like Moses as they headed towards the main stage. “Oh yeah, I think blondie and her boyfriend may have broken up." Rhapsody informed Echo as an explanation to the more than the usual stares the two would get from the other dancers.

"I saw Buddy putting him out earlier. And you better give him his key back too."

"This Buddy key? I thought he took it from Alonzo. Hold up, how the fuck Buddy got a key, and I don’t?" Echo just chuckled as she approached Venus behind the main stage. She intended to apologize to the woman for her attitude earlier, that was until TK announced Lola was coming to the stage. Over the uproar of applause, whistles, and other vulgar obscenities, Venus passed Echo a defeated look that said, "Don't shoot the messenger."

Echo's response was just as expressive. Smirking a little before softly touching Venus's shoulder. Using it as leverage, to follow right behind Lola, and go out on stage. From behind the stage, Rhapsody and Venus stood still. Predictably, the crowd of horny drunks became wild, as TK attempted to narrate the scene and call for help all at the same time. Two girls had never been on the stage at the same time, let alone two girls who were both crowd favorites.

"You about to lose yo job." Rhapsody teased as Venus looked on in suspense. The money was pouring in, but who was to say who it was for as a club full of grown as men turned into starstruck teenage girls. Pushing and pulling on each other to get close enough to the stage for one of the two beauties to at least look in their direction. Soon enough, violence ensued as the men turned aggressive and territorial - but all Echo cared about was the money that was flying through the sky to land at her feet.

"She about to lose her job," Venus said, really unsure of what would happen. "I liked her too." But she knew after being so close to Alonzo, and Fargo, Echo wasn't going anywhere. She could set fire to this place, and she'd still be the only dancer to ever receive a paycheck and full benefits.

"What is Echo doing? Get her off the stage now." Alonzo ordered. After working inside the Hideaway for so long, Venus and Rhapsody no longer questioned where the hell he came from. Yet, they stood still in shock of him choosing to reprimand Echo for her behavior – for the first time in ten years. Climbing onto the stage to pull Echo off himself, TK continued to provide commentary in hopes of not starting a riot. "What the fuck, Dominique! How we suppose to control these niggas if you giving them a reason to act up?"

"Me?" Echo responded, shocked. "Venus told me it was my time on stage, not hers! Pull her off!"

"Pull her- she been here all night! Working. How about you?" Echo remained silent. Her, Alonzo, and Buddy may have felt like a family after all these years, but they weren't. This was her job, and she was probably about to lose it. "I'm sorry about your Moms, really. I told you to take the time you needed. And you still can. But if you here, you follow the rules. Show up on time and don't give these drunk ass niggas no reason to-" Start shooting was what he was going to say, but the gunshots from the front of the club finished his sentence for him.

While Rhapsody took off towards the dressing rooms, Alonzo pulled Venus close to him, getting her to safety before she began to freak out. All the while, Echo climbed back on the stage and began to sweep the money into a large pile. She watched Lola, as she crawled away from the stage full of cash, shaking her head and telling her mother's voice in her head, "Oh shut up, I earned this."

"That shit more important than your life?" She ignored the voice and continued to grab all the cash for herself. "So, you can't hear me now?" Echo knew Buddy, and the security guards had whoever fired the shots by now, or at least they were long gone. Either way, Alonzo wasn’t closing the club for nothing short of a murder investigation. With this much money left behind, the only thing she was risking was giving a broke motherfucker the chance to pick it up and throw it back at the next bitch to come to the stage.

"I know this ain't about my party?" Her head finally snapped in Fargo's direction as he sat seated right next to the main stage, as a man of the streets, gunshots only fazed him if they were flying in his direction. Echo had noticed him sitting there after she bum-rushed the stage, but she wasn’t surprised, TK had just called Lola's name.  Once Echo's mom passed, he was there for the girl – as a friend. He thought about asking Echo to come through last night, not afraid to admit he had become addicted to watching the way Echo’s body moved for him. Nonetheless, he chose to invite Lola instead. And unlike when Echo came to dance for him and his rowdy boys, his dick even thanked him for the switch up. "You so emotional."

"No, I'm not. It's called loyalty. Maybe you should try it." As she spoke, Echo never once broke eye contact with Fargo. Even as she began to drop armfuls of money into her custom gym bag Buddy had fetched from behind the stage for her. All without even checking to see if he was actually there. Once the stage was empty, Fargo stood from his seat and stretched out his hand for Echo to step off the stage and talk to him like a rational adult. However, she used Buddy's instead and stood toe-to-toe with the man. A lot of niggas feared Fargo, even Alonzo, but Echo saw right through him.

"Everyone always talmbout loyalty, and don't even understand what it means."

"I know what it means."

"No, you know the definition." Fargo could see right through her as well. It was no doubt that Echo's face pulled him inside Heaven’s Hideaway one night, but she wasn't the only reason why he kept coming back. He often threw private events of his own and in the past, he'd ask Echo to come through and dance for him. "Your loyalty is to an object. Not a person."

"So I don't deserve yours? Is that what you saying?"

"I'm saying, you emotional."

"Did you fuck her?" She asked, fighting back her tears. She could really care less about what happened between him and Lola. She just needed someone to take accountability for her sorrow, because AIDS sure the fuck wasn't going to feel sorry for her loss.

Starting into Dominique's soul, Fargo remained suave. He knew what it was between the two of them. Outside of the strip club, they had grown close. She was more than just Echo to him, and he saw no point to kick her while she was down. Her mother had only been gone from her now for two weeks now. "Is my answer gone change your loyalty?"

"No, but you better not lie to me."

Fargo smiled a little before he reached down in his pocket and pulled out a knot of fresh ones. He dropped the stack in the bag Buddy held from his position in the friend zone. With the thought couldn’t be me, Fargo whispered in Echo’s ear, "Yes,” and gave her a quick kiss to her cheek. He finished up by saying, “See you around then, I guess." Before slipping away towards the private rooms - with Lola right on his heels.

[warriorsquest]

#MovieNight with @KaterinaBDB

Blay: *I strolled down the busy street, and busy it was, civilians humans and vampires alike out shopping like mad, spending money many most likely didn’t have or they did. Either way, I was heading nowhere thinking of nothing in particular but I was tired of being back at the mansion staring at the same four walls. There was more to life than training, rotation, and the drama at the mansion with who was screwing what chosen or not, young being born, babies crying. It was not a calm household any longer. That was why I gone out, actually taken a car and left to go for a drive and ended up here at one of the Caldwell’s most famous shopping areas and was just people watching. But I was getting bored with that too and getting hungry. I could go out to eat, but for some reason, I didn’t feel like sitting at a restaurant by myself. Usually, it didn’t bug me but it did now. So what I do would grab a pizza on my way home from my favorite place and go home hide in the smaller cinema rooms and stuff my face with pizza, snacks, and beer. That was the best plan I had for days maybe weeks. With my plan in mind, I turned around and headed back for my car, not demating since I was in no real hurry. * @KaterinaBDB   

Kat:   *The streets were swarming with people.  The sun had set an half hour ago and I had the night off from work.  The job at the tattoo parlour wasn’t great, but it paid enough to keep me from living on the streets.  The apartment I was renting now was really dirty and some days I was convinced the basements I slept in some nights before were cleaner.  But I had a place to call home and I didn’t have to drag my suitcase around wherever I went now.  I pulled my phone out of my pocket and went through the messages from my friends.  Blay stayed in contact and even Qhuinn checked in to see how I was from time to time.  Crhis’s visit from the the other night was a different subject altogether and my cheeks flushed just thinking about it.  I smiled as I read his msgs.  I had a feeling I would see him again soon.  We connected on so many levels and i knew it wasn’t one sided.  I scrolled down the messages and stopped at Blay’s last msg ‘let me know when you're free and we can meet up somewhere and catch up’.  Well, I was free now.  I smiled and sent a msg to Blay ‘I’m free tonight, wanna meet up somewhere?’*   @CorruptSoulless

Blay: *I was just about to head inside to pick up my pie when my phone buzzed, I was about to ignore it thinking it was one of the guys trying to reach me and seriously my night off was mine to do with as I pleased. I didn’t feel to go a round with any of them, not really. I put the car in park, fishing my phone out of my pocket. I cracked a wide grin when j saw the text from Kat. I'd grown up with her when I was a kid and we all hung out quite a lot. Then she moved away but we still kept in touch. She'd been the one who first found out I was gay and helped me become comfortable enough with who I was to tell others. Reading her text made me happy she wanted to hang out and I couldn't think of anything better than having a movie night with her. “Hey lovely! I'm about to pick up a pie, go home to watch Horrible Bosses and eat popcorn want to come join me?” I hit send and leaned back in my chair, phone in hand anticipating her reply.* @KaterinaBDB

Kat:  *blue eyes lit up as I read the reply from Blay.  A lazy movie night was just what I needed.  I was about to reply when I realized that he didn’t stay with his parents anymore but he lived with the Brotherhood.  Shit.  That could pose a problem.  I had no idea if I was allowed to go there or how I would get there.  I didn’t even know where the place was.  Fingers went flying over my touchscreen as I replied. ‘Sure, I would love to.  Where will I meet you?’  I hit send and waited for the reply.  My stomach let out a growl to remind me it was still empty and I walked over to the fridge, grabbing a KFC box with some leftover chicken from the night before.  Cooking in this place wasn’t an option.  I was surprised the KFC was still there.  I half expected it to have been carried off by some weird bugs.  If this was how all humans lived, I could understand why our race looked down on them and refer to them as rats without tails.  It’s disgusting but it’s all I can afford for now.  I was still looking for a better job or a second job, but night shift only was hard to come by.* @CorruptSoulless

Blay: *Texting her back I reply “I am just picking us up a couple pies and then I can come pick you up. Why don’t you tell me where you live and I’ll come get you?” I knew Kat was back in town but I hadn’t seen her, I knew Qhuinn talked to her a few times but that was about it. It would be nice to see her again, we’d been close once. We could watch movies, eat and catch up and things would be like when we were kids. I’d love to hear more what had been going on with her over the past years, what she been doing and what her plans were. It would be a real nice change to talk to someone who knew nothing about what had been going on as of late. I was tired of hearing about it, tired to think about it and feeling the shitty residues of the Omega’s pull over me. I wanted me back, but somehow I thought maybe he was lost forever, no matter what happened in the future. Getting out of the car I put my phone back in my pocket and walked into the pizza place to place my order. Two pies should tie us over nicely I thought and went for a meat lover and a pepperoni.* @KaterinaBDB

Kat:   *Blay’s reply was almost instant.  I put the untouched KFC box down on the kitchen counter and typed in my address ‘That would be awesome and it sounds like the kinda night I need.  Let me know when you are here and I’ll come down’ I hit send and picked up the chicken.  I didn’t want Blay to come up here and see this place.  If I could help it, I would keep them all from seeing where I lived.  I cursed myself for still having that Glymera pride in me, but it was a hard one to shake.  Mahmen always said, you can be clean even if you are poor, and that was engraved in my mind.  Taking a seat on the couch, I started eating the spicy chicken and waited for Blay’s reply when he arrives*.  @CorruptSoulless

Blay: *A wide grin spread across my face when I read her reply. I put my phone down driving for her place, I knew the part of town and recognized it not to be the best place to live. I was going to asker her about it because if she needed help I'd do anything for her. It was Kat after all. I was going to get to see Kat, someone I knew, from my past someone who knew me too. I needed thus a good distraction from all that had been going on someone who knew nothing of the darkness, nothing about Q. It would be Kat and I with movies and snacks. Turning onto her street I brought my phone back out to text her to say I was outside.* @KaterinaBDB

Kat:  *my phone vibrated on the table and without having to even check, I grabbed the box and put the chicken back in the fridge and washed my hands.  I grabbed my bag and phone and read the msg from Blay on my way out the door, triple locking it, not that I had anything valuable inside.  I made my way down the stairs and out the front door, a huge smile lighting up my face as I approached the car and saw the familiar face of a good friend.  True to his male of worth nature he got out and opened the car door for me.  I leaned in and gave him a quick hug.*  Evening, Blay!  It’s so good to see you!   @CorruptSoulless

Blay:   *Driving up to the apartment complex she lived I couldn't help but worry about her living there. I wasn't sure I would be able to let her go back there and live with myself if anything happened to her. This was Kat we were talking about not someone random person, not that it matter but still. Texting her I waited and it didn't take long at all for her show up and when I say her I knew I was crazy smiling just as much as she was. “Kitty Kat!” I couldn't help but tease as we hugged ���It's great to see you too. I've missed you!” I waited for her to get her seatbelt on before I put the car on drive and we were off.* @KaterinaBDB

Kat:  *It was good to see Blay again and he hadn’t changed much except for his muscles that were ready bulging.  Wow.  The drive to his place didn’t take too long but I started wondering if he got lost as we drove away from civilisation and headed into the mountains.  When he slowed down, I almost asked him if he was okay and then suddenly out of nowhere huge gates appeared.  Squinting my eyes, I noticed that there were massive buildings where seconds ago there were only mountains.  I shook my head wondering how I could’ve missed that.  Blay punched in a code and the gates opened.  My jaw dropped as the building came into full view.  This was more like a castle of some kind.  It was massive and marvelous.  When the males told me they stayed at the Brotherhood compound I had no idea it would look like this.  My mind got stuck in awe mode as we moved through gates, doors and hallways until we found ourselves entering a cinema.  At some point later, when I was alone at home, I would try and make sense of everything I’d seen up to this point.  Right now, I wanted to be present and enjoy this day with Blay.   @CorruptSoulless

Blay:  *As we arrived at the mansion I showed Kat in through the main entrance allowing her to take in the grand hall. I knew she probably wanted the grand tour and I’d be happy to give it to her but I was starving. Maybe if I allowed her to pick the movie I could lure her to watch a movie and eat first leaving the tour of the mansion for later. “Huge right?” She gave me that look as if to say are you fucking kidding me causing me to laugh and give her a one arm hug. “How about you pick a movie and we watch that while eating and then when that’s done I’ll give you the grand tour?” I asked Wrath about bringing Kat into the mansion explaining who she was and he agreed to letting her come so I knew it would be ok.* @KatarinaBDB

Kat:   *Blay’s offer of a movie, food and a grand tour lightened my face.  I was hungry and a tour of this astonishingly grand mansion, or is it a castle?  I wasn’t sure. But a tour sounded exciting and thrilling.  Blay motioned for me to sit in the back row as he stopped to give the doggen our food order.  The leather seats were huge and reclining with large foldaway trays.  I picked a movie I had already seen but my mind was a blank*.  I’d like to watch The Mortal Instruments if you have it.  *Blay smiled and nodded as his fingers glided over the screen of a tablet before he sat down beside me.  I was amazed at how quick the doggen returned with a tray of starters and beverages.  The lights in the theatre dimmed and a small soft light brightened the tray enough to see our food but not interfere with the viewing of the large cinema size screen.  Food and beverages were brought in throughout and the timing was spot on.  We finished our last bite as the closing credits started rolling*.  That’s was great.  I’ve read all the books and it’s fascinating to see the books brought to life.  I do prefer the Shadowhunters TV series to the movie.. *I stopped babbling and smiled as Blay got up and offered his hand*.   @CorruptSoulless

Blay:  *We had a great time just sharing the food and snacks as we watched the movie. Kat must have been starving if the way she ate was any indication. But from the look of where she was living, I wasn't that surprised. What Kat didn't know was that I texted Wrath during the movie asking his permission to have her stay here at the mansion for a few days. His reply had been pretty instant saying it was fine but that he wanted a report who she was and why she needed a place to live. I promised him to tell him the next day. As the movie credits came on I held out my hand to her. “Come on lady let me show you around and I'll show you where you can crash.” I smiled and then laughed at her raised eyebrows. “I would like you to stay, please Kat? I couldn't live with myself if I let you go back to that dump you call home.” I started leading her out the room her hand in mine “Speaking of, are you going to tell me what's going on?”* @KaterinaBDB

Kat:   *Blay’s response made me blink a few times.  Stay here?  What was he saying?  Maybe he wanted me to spend the night here.  Yes, that must be it.  As we walked out the theatre hand in hand like the good old friends we were, my eyes tried to take everything in.  We were walking down a long hallway lined with magnificent statues and paintings.  The kind my family would give their limbs and organs for.  Blay’s question burned in the back of my mind.  He was waiting for my answer, but he was a gentleman and would never push for an answer.  I do ow him an answer though, I knew that much.*  I left my family’s home because… well, when I say it, it sounds childish but it matters to me…  left because my father was choosing a suitable hellren for me and he wouldn’t listen to any reason.  I know I must sound like a spoiled brat.  It’s just… I can’t be mated to someone I don’t love.  I’m tired of feeling like someone’s property and that’s exactly what I’ll be for the rest of my life if I took a hellren of father mine’s choosing.  Anyway, I left and he cut me off completely.  I managed to find a receptionist job at the tattoo shop down the road.  They wanted someone who could work night shift only.  It’s not ideal but it pays the bills.  *Saying all that out loud really made me feel even worse about my decision.  Countless people would give up everything to live the life I had lived, and here I was being ungrateful because I had some hard choices to make.  I guess freedom of choice is not overrated at all.  @CorruptSoulless

Blay: *I knew there had to be a reason for Kat living as she did and that it had to somehow involve her family. Her statement about her dad wanting to match her up with some male to mate wasn’t till this day and age that uncommon especially not with the Glymera. Kat’s dad had always, at least if you compared him to mine, been a bit more stickler for the old ways, especially, when it came to females and his daughter in general. “I don’t blame you. We all have our limits right to what we can compromise on. Trust me I know all about limits and demands that come with setting them. So, how about it. You’ll stay here right till you are on your feet and then if you don’t like it here we can see about finding you a good place to live? A safe place.” I said with conviction in my voice but smiling to show her I wasn’t forcing her but cared about her. “Trust me we have everything you could ever need here and Fritz will get you anything that is missing and you want. Please.” I pleaded with her, I wasn’t beyond begging.*  @KaterinaBDB  

Kat:  *Blay’s voice bled with concern and it broke my heart.  He was a dear friend to me and knowing I’m making him worry saddened me, but I didn’t want to impose on someone else’s life. Even though this place was massive and there appeared to be enough room, it didn’t feel right for me to take it for granted that whoever this belonged to would be alright with this.  I didn’t want to decline Blay’s offer and come across as rude and therefor I proposed an alternative*  Will it be alright if I stayed until I could find a better job?  I have been looking and I have a good feeling about one of the place I applied at.  It’s called Safeplace and it’s not a human place, but a place for our race.  I think I may have a good chance getting that position as receptionist.  *Blay’s approving smile set my mind at ease and with that we continued the evening as he showed me around until we were both beyond tired.  The room he settled me in was absolutely magnificent.  I was used to glamour and exquisite things, but this was spectacular.*  #MovieNight with @CorruptSoulless       #SASBDB   

[doctor-paprika]

Heroin sucks.

I have no followers, so I guess I am using this as a diary entry that no one will see but can help me vent a bit.

I am learning how to tumblr so have been randomly searching any interests that come to mind. Of course, one of the first I could think of was heroin/addiction recovery, but very few results came up. After that, I stupidly just searched the word “heroin” and the results really brought me down (lower than I already was, which was surprising.)

A few accounts were splattered with pictures of Kurt Cobain, which didn’t surprise me. Soon I saw several accounts with videos of people shooting up, people talking about how much they love heroin and other drugs, and of course, people talking of how they may be addicts, but they aren’t dirty junkies!

When I was 14 I began eating pills. Benzos were fun, but opiates were my favourite. I took them from medicine cabinets and kept myself in steady supply that way. Years passed, I graduated high school, fell in and out of a few relationships, and eventually began seeing someone who had been using heroin for a while. They would leave the room to shoot up, but one night I told them to stay, and I asked them to share.

I was 19, had a good job, a reliable car, over $4k in the bank I had earned every penny of on my own, a good relationship with my parents, and a few people I called friends.

I don’t want to sit here and put down my partner at the time because it is counterproductive. All I will say is that they were 26, had never had a job, a driver’s license, a high school diploma, but got lots of money given to them without question by their mother.

I say this just to give you (the person who is not reading this) an idea of my situation at the time.

I loved my first shot. There was no mark left on my arm, which shocked me. Before this, I had needed four nurses to hold me down to get a tetanus shot, but suddenly the fear was gone. I didn’t want to bring up doing it again, so was very excited when my partner asked a few days later if I would like to join them in shooting up again. The second time was even better than the first.

The lies came quickly. Calls to my job, claiming my car was broken down. Calls to my parents coming up with various reasons as to why I wouldn’t be home that night. The few friends I had became unimportant, I had new “friends” that I met through my partner, and they either sold, used, or both.

A few months after I turned 20 I quit my job, officially moved in with my partner, and had begun to spend almost every moment of every day coming up with ways to get heroin. I felt like a cool adult, able to make my own decisions and get high whenever I wanted! What fun!

Without having to pay for food, rent, or anything but heroin, I ran out of my $4k in less than a year. I had been saving all of my money from age 15-19 and it was gone in just a few months. I also got my car taken from me by my parents. My partners mom knew that we used, she sobbed about it, yelled about it, and acted like it was the worst thing that could have ever happened to her… but would still give us $100-300 a day so we wouldn’t get sick, and provided a nice, new car for us.

I was lucky to live in the Bay Area, because all it took was a fifteen minute drive to Oakland and I had access to dozens of dealers. There were also many needle exchanges around the city in which each person could get 400 free, new clean needles and all the ties, cooks, cottons, and anything else a heroin addict could need, including a limited supply of Narcan - which I always kept on me after having OD’d myself once and watching another friend OD, and having us both be saved by the opioid antagonist.

Oh, and I began smoking crack. Lots of crack. Crack was great! And heroin was a perfect comedown! I was awake most hours of every day, and spent almost every second of those hours worrying about how the next hour would go.

By the time my parents found out about my use, I was 22. They had been my best friends and now we were completely out of contact. My mom would occasionally stop by the apartment my partner and I shared with their mom, but by then I had begun living in the car we had, because being in Oakland all the time was easier than having to drive there every day.

My partners mom would occasionally go through periods where she decided to cut us off. She was married to an alcoholic whose health was declining so had to tend to his addiction more than ours at that point. I had never imagined myself having to fly a sign for money, but now I was doing it all day, every day, and most of the time was stuck standing out there sick. Lots of homeless people live on the streets of Oakland, so to get a good spot to stand you needed to get out early, and find some confidence to fight others who wanted your spot. I had shit thrown at me, usually open drink containers, I got yelled at to get a job, to get the fuck off the median, to kill myself. I didn’t understand what I was doing to offend these people so bad. My least favorite part was the men who would hold out a dollar, just to pull it in once I got close and show me their dick before laughing and driving off - and the worst of that was one who actually came on my hand, he could have at least gave me the dollar after!

Once my partners mom was at the hospital daily with her rapidly declining husband, waiting for him to get a liver transplant that eventually came too late, we began staying at the apartment more. Every wall became covered in blood spatter, shot from rigs that had become blocked with coagulated blood. You could not see one inch of the floor, as it was covered in used rigs and bloody rags. Surprisingly, we didn’t get the security deposit back! I will always feel terrible that I let my cat live in that fucked up place.

I joined a methadone clinic a few times to try to avoid going through withdrawal, but I would always stop going because the drive there took away time I could have spent flying my sign, smoking crack, or shooting dope.

I was 23, my job was flying a sign, my car was in three accidents that left it barely functioning, had no money for longer than a few minutes (more usually a few hours because dealers were generally slow movers), was out of contact with my parents for thirteen months, and I didn’t have one friend. I had also gotten below 90lbs, which didn’t go well with my 5'8" body - inside or out. You know you’re at rock bottom when you have old crack dealers with no teeth telling you how unhealthy you look.

You know what my most commonly used phrases during those years were? • “I’m not a junkie, I’m a functioning addict!” • “I’m not a dirty crackhead, I take showers, brush my teeth, and wash my face (in the bathroom at Safeway.)” • “My parents/friends are so stupid, they don’t get that I’m totally fine. I’m better than fine, this stuff makes me feel great! If they tried it, they’d know!” • “I know *drug dealers name* takes a long time to meet up, but we’re friends! Not like how it is for them with all the junkies out here!” • “I’ve never had to whore myself out, I’ve never been to jail, I’m not like these nasty junkies out here..”

You know what kind of things I did that I thought were totally normal and definitely didn’t make me a mentally ill drug abuser? • searched the floor of my car for lost crack rocks for hours, tearing apart any parts of it I could - one time even thinking I had found a big chunk of crack and immediately smoked it, but it was a popcorn kernel! Worst thing I’ve ever smelled or tasted. • gone through every inch of my partners mom’s room to find any loose change or gold jewelery I could sell. • sold every book, videogame, DVD, CD, and any item I owned that I could get even a dollar for, including things I had had since my childhood that had incredible sentimental value. • sold every Safeway giftcard my partners mother would give us for 75% of its value, knowing it meant my partner and I would have no food for the foreseeable future. ¹ • then spent the money we got for the giftcard on crack, knowing that without food in our system we would throw up bile after each hit. • had to shit so badly after taking a hit of crack that I went on a curb where others could see, in the middle of the day, and then taken another hit right when I was done. • taken suboxone sooner than I knew I should have, and proceeded to vomit non-stop while driving, followed my shitting my pants three times, selling a PS4 that belonged to my partners friend, and driving to meet a dealer while still vomiting and wearing my shit filled pants.

Too much information? Gross? It’s weird for me to talk about it, because I have incredibly bad anxiety and don’t like to be open about more than I have to be, but drug addiction is gross and people need to realize that. There are people out there buying clothes and accessories with “Xanax” and “Percoset” labeled on them! Alcohol is glamourized in the media all the time! And the worst part is, I get it. I get that feeling that of independence, that feeling of being cooler than others, that feeling of finally having found something to calm down my brain even a little bit and falling head over heels for it, that feeling of doing something illegal and scary and the adrenaline rush from it.

When I was in middle school there was an assembly where a man talked about his drug use. It ended with him saying quitting cigarettes was harder than quitting heroin. Once I got addicted to heroin, I knew that was complete bullshit. I wish there was a way to tell kids, adults, anyone who might be considering using that they should do anything else, that their lives can so easily be ruined for who knows how long, but unfortunately most will only learn from experience.

Addicts are demonized, we are looked at as scum, as monsters, as those you should stay far from. Addicts are people. Many addicts are brilliant minds that suffer from mental illnesses, some known and some not. I knew I was mentally ill, but the therapy groups gave me anxiety and the meds didn’t work quick enough so I took the route I felt would be easier, which proved to be the opposite. Addiction is a disease, whether people choose to believe it or not. The biggest argument I have heard against this is that addicts choose what has happened to them. Do you put down a diabetic, even if they are only dealing with that disease because they ate tons of pies and cakes every day? Do you put down a person with cancer, even if they are only dealing with that disease because they tanned themselves in the sun or under tanning booths every day? I chose to use heroin, I chose to use crack, I chose to eat pills, I chose to drink, but I did not choose to be an addict. Long before I did any of those drugs I was addicted to picking at my skin, addicted to cleaning, addicted to exercising and watching my diet very closely, but no on has ever put me down for having dermatillomania, for having OCD, or for having anorexia.

Those with mental illness are looked at as lesser beings, as being incompetent, as needing to be pushed aside and stepped on. But we are strong, we are bright, and we deserve love and acceptance.

I have been off of heroin since early 2014, but I will be celebrating my one year date of being completely clean and sober in eleven days. I never think about drugs anymore, until I see videos of others shooting up, text or images promoting the addict lifestyle, and unfortunately for me those are all too common and too easily found.

If you are an addict, ask for help. If you suffer from, or even think you may suffer from, any mental illness, ask for help. Even if it is hard to find at first, it is out there. Therapy, medications, rehabilitation and the like are out there.

But, you’re not reading this are you? Like I said, this is just a way for a rambling, ex-junkie to vent.

[lalallicat]

could you write a fitzsimmons story with this as a prompt? :D fartgallery(.)ca/post/144981770082/genie-i-grant-you-3-wishes-what-is-your-first

Hi!  Sorry it took me so long to fill out this prompt.  Everything I wrote accidentaly devolved into long rants about Trump and social inequality and institutionalized racism and I had to delete it all and start over.  

Also, your link didn’t work and so I had to google it and it was surprisingly difficult to find and by the time I found it, I had already made up an outline just based on the word “genie”, so yeah.  I went with it.  Also, I would’ve had a hard time making anyone wish for someone to fall in love with them because it goes into issues of consent and can you tell that I definitely overthink everything?  Which is funny because I have a four-month-old and most of the time, I’m just barely functioning.

This is probably more than you need to know.  You probably just want to read the story.

How About a Little More Baklava

Fitz’s first thought is that genies wear far more leather and black eyeliner than he expected.

Not that he knew he had expectations for genies at all.  But when Jemma accidentally knocked over the actual ugliest lamp in existence while antique shopping and Fitz reached out to catch it, and all of a sudden there was a poof! and a young woman was standing in between him and Jemma, Fitz’s immediate reaction had been, Oh. Genie.  Which means that in some far corner of his mind, he held the supposition that genies at least exist.

Fitz’s second thought is, “Oh, shit.”  Because he’s read countless stories and has seen both Aladdin AND Kazaam!, and he knows this whole genie thing never turns out well.

“I wish for your freedom!” he yelps frantically.

The genie raises her eyebrows in disbelief.  “What?”  

The owner of the store pokes her head out from behind the back storage area.  “Everything alright out there?” she asks.

“We’re great!” Jemma exclaims far too enthusiastically.  Jemma always covers up nerves with enthusiasm.  It’s what makes her such a terrible liar and such a great test-taker.

The store owner just looks perplexed.  “Is there anything I can help you with?” she asks, not quite suspicious but rapidly getting there.

The genie picks up the lamp and raises it towards the owner.  “Yeah, we’d like to buy this lamp.

As it turns out, there are A LOT of genie laws, and one of them is that if a genie’s owner wishes to set their genie free, they have to do it with their third wish.  

“But why?” Jemma asks as she opens the door to the apartment that she shares with Fitz.  She’s been taking this whole “genies are real” thing rather well, despite her insistence that magic does not exist.  Though now that Fitz thinks about it, Jemma’s undoubtedly running through possible scientific explanations for Daisy’s tether to the ceramic Pepto-Bismol-pink lamp and matching ruffled lampshade.

Daisy shrugs.  “Bureaucratic bullshit.”  She sprawls out on their sofa.  Now that Fitz is actually looking at her and isn’t blindly panicking anymore, he sees that the Daisy is about his and Jemma’s age, but a lot more world weary, with dark circles under her eyes (though it could just be the make-up) and frown lines at the corners of her lips.  “Oh my God, you have no idea how good it feels to stretch out my limbs.”

“Is it cramped in there?” Jemma asks, poking at the lamp distrustfully.  “I sort of assumed it would be like the TARDIS.”

Daisy looks at her blankly.

“You know - bigger on the inside?” Jemma supplies.

Daisy turns to look at Fitz, her eyebrows furrowed in confusion.  “What’s a TAR…tar-what was that again?”

Jemma and Fitz exchange looks of concern.  “Have you never seen Doctor Who?” Jemma asks.

Daisy raises an eyebrow.  “Do I look like I own a television?” she asks flatly.

Jemma and Fitz stare silently at each other for a few long moments.  “Do you…?” Jemma asks.

Fitz nods gravely.  “Oh, absolutely.”

——-

“See, THIS is why I don’t want to use any wishes,” Fitz complains, gesturing towards the television screen, where Rose and her father are reconnecting amid Reaper attacks.  “The unintended c-conse…conse…it would turn out bad.”

“Nah,” Daisy disagrees, shoving a handful of popcorn into her mouth.  If she notices Fitz’s stuttering, she doesn’t say anything.  “I can’t bring anyone back from the dead anyways.  Or go back in time.  You should be fine as long as you phrase your wishes right.”

“What else can’t you do?” Jemma asks, curious.

Daisy ticks them off her fingers.  “I can’t make anyone fall in love with you.  I can’t make something out of nothing.”

“So the law of physics do still apply!” Jemma bounces in her seat a little and claps a little.

“I can, however, make things out of thin air, so as long as you’re not starving for oxygen, I can make pretty much whatever you want.”

Fitz’s amused half-smile falls and he looks down at his lap.  

Jemma wrings her hands a little before rising from her armchair and moving to sit next to him, taking up the middle cushion between Fitz and Daisy on the sofa.  “Oh, Fitz,” she murmurs, placing her hand tentatively on his.

Daisy frowns.  “What’d I say?” she asks.

“You might have noticed that Fitz doesn’t talk much.”  Jemma looks down at their hands.  “He was in an accident about a year ago - suffered from oxygen deprivation.  He’s had a bit of trouble talking ever since - though it’s not nearly as noticeable as he thinks it is,” she adds quickly.  “And he’s improved so much since then.”

“Don’t for-forget ‘bout my fine motor skills,” Fitz adds bitterly.

“Shit,” Daisy groans, flopping back into the sofa and covering her face with her hands.  “I’m sorry.  I mean, I knew my jokes were shitty, but this is on an entirely different level.”

“It’s fine,” Fitz mumbles.

“You know what?”  Daisy stands and stretches.  “I should just turn in for the night before I shove my foot any further in my mouth.  Just let me know when you’re ready to redeem that first wish.”

Jemma jumps to her feet.  “Where are you going?”

Daisy gestures to the lamp as though it should be obvious.  “Home?”

Jemma looks slightly horrified.  “You can’t go back in there!”

Daisy shakes her head slightly.  “Why not?” she asks, confused.

“You spent half the night complaining about how uncomfortable it is in there,” Jemma points out.  “Just sleep on our couch.  I mean, I know it’s not ideal, but it’s got to be better than sleeping in a lamp.”

Daisy looks between Jemma and Fitz.  “Are you sure?” she asks Fitz.

Fitz shrugs.  “Yeah.  It’s all yours.”

—–

As Fitz struggles to think of what to wish for, Daisy makes herself comfortable in their apartment.  Even though Fitz and Jemma don’t wish for anything, Daisy seems to think nothing of using her powers to make their lives easier.  If Jemma opens the fridge and observes, “We’re out of milk,” a new carton will magically appear on one of the shelves.  If they spend too long arguing about whether to order pizza or Chinese food, Daisy just rolls her eyes and provide them with both.

When Fitz and Jemma come home one day to find a new sofa in the living room, Daisy just shrugs and says, “This one is more comfortable.”

“Maybe you should just make yourself a new bedroom,” Fitz suggests dryly.

“You know I can’t do that,” Daisy says without taking her eyes off the television screen.  She swings her arm with the Wii remote, sending the animated tennis ball flying over the net.  “Not without reducing the size of the rest of your rooms.”  She lets out a loud grunt as she swings again.  “Maybe you should just use up your wishes.”

“Fine.  I wish for world peace,” Fitz snaps sarcastically.

“I know you’re just joking, but you seriously don’t want to do that,” Daisy tells him.  “Seriously, last time someone did that, the entire world ended up under a single Orwellian totalitarian regime, and he had to use his third wish to undo it.”

Fitz snorts.  “Yeah, I figured.”

“Just think of something small,” Daisy suggests.

“Fine, I wish for a Wii.”

Daisy grins as she bounces back and forth on her toes.  “Sorry,” she says, swinging her arm again.  “Retroactive wishes don’t count.”

—–

Fitz is pretty much used to being in love with Jemma.  In retrospect, it might not have been the best idea to agree to share an apartment with her, but it’s fine.  He’s handling it.

And he would never wish for Jemma to fall in love with him, even if it were an option.  But he would like to know if she does.  Love him, that is.  And the simplest way to find out would be to just ask, but it’s also the most terrifying way, and he’d rather not create an uncomfortable situation.  If she moves out, he’d never be able to afford the rent on his own.

Well, he could.  He could wish for a winning lottery ticket or something.  But it seems far less complicated to just ask Daisy.  There can’t be too many harmful consequences attached to asking for information, right? After all, Daisy’s always going on about how information should be free.

“I know my first wish,” he tells Daisy one night while Jemma’s away at a conference.

“Finally!” Daisy exclaims.  A bottle of champagne appears on the kitchen counter.  “We should celebrate.  This feels like a momentous occasion.”  She pours the champagne into two flutes.  “Alright,” she says, passing Fitz his flute and clinking them together.  “I’m ready.  Hit me with it.”

Fitz squares his shoulders back.  “I wish for you to tell me if anyone is in love with me.  Romantically.”  He pauses.  “Not for you to tell me romantically - for you to tell me if anyone is in romantic love with me.  I probably should have written this out beforehand.”

“No.”

Fitz feels his heart sink into his stomach.  “No?” he repeats.

Daisy slaps the back of Fitz’s head.  “No! There’s no way I’m letting you waste your first wish on something you can easily figure out for yourself!  I didn’t even need to use my powers to figure that one out.”

“If I could easily figure it out for myself, do you think I’d be asking you?!” Fitz protests.

The champagne disappears.  “I can’t believe it took you five weeks to come up with that wish,” Daisy shouts at him.  “You suck at this.”

“Are all genies this belligerent?” Fitz complains.

“I wish Jemma had rubbed the lamp,” Daisy grouses under her breath as she climbs onto a bar stool.  A laptop appears in front of her on the kitchen counter and large headphones appear over her ears.  “Don’t talk to me.  I’m going to be on YouTube watching videos of unexpected animal friendships until I feel better.”

—–

“What would you wish for?” Fitz asks Jemma as they eat dinner on their couch, Planet Earth playing softly in the background.  With Fitz’s permission, Daisy has taken an impromptu trip to Vegas, leaving him and Jemma alone for the first time in two months.  

Jemma prods distractedly at her Pad Thai.  “Why are you asking me? They’re your wishes. You can’t tell me that there isn’t anything you want.”

“Daisy has vetoed all of my wishes so far,” Fitz complains.  “She says they’re too dumb.  She’s the worst genie ever.”

“To be fair, I’m the one who told her you’re not allowed to have a pet monkey,” Jemma admits.

“She’s my genie!  Why is she listening to you?”

“Ovaries before brovaries.”  After marathoning through all of Doctor Who in just two and half weeks, Daisy moved on to Parks and Rec, leading to her and Jemma creating increasingly affectionate and ridiculous nicknames for each other.

Fitz rolls his eyes.  “Seriously, Jemma.  I wished for her to leave the apartment so I could have a night of normalcy for a change, and she said she wanted to leave anyways, so it didn’t really count as a wish.  I’m never going to get to my third wish.”

Jemma frowns.  “Do you want to be rid of her that badly?”

Fitz sighs and leans back against the couch cushion.  “I don’t want to be rid of her completely.  I like having her around.  But I would like our couch back at some point in the future.  Besides, I never get to spend time with you anymore.”

Jemma wrinkles her nose.  “We live together and we work together.  When are we not spending time together?”

Fitz feels his face flush.  He looks down at his food.  “I didn’t…it’s not…” Fitz huffs.  “I mean, it’s never just the two of us, you know?  Like it used to be.  And I like hanging out with Daisy, but I like it when we’re alone too.  You’re my best friend.”

Fitz chances a look at Jemma.  She seems to be flushing a little too.  “Oh,” she manages.  “That makes sense.”  Jemma is silent for a long moment.  Finally, she puts her takeaway container down on the coffee table and turns to face Fitz.  “You know, when you were in the hospital and after, when you were recovering, I just…I was so angry at him.  I still am, sometimes.  It drives me crazy that he’s never had to take responsibility for what he did to you.”

Fitz rubs the back of his neck.  “I’d rather just forget the whole thing.”

Jemma shakes her head.  “I’d rather forget it too, Fitz, but I can’t.  Those nine days were the longest days of my life.  I was so terrified.”  She pauses, then says, her voice cracking, “He needs to pay for what he did.”

Fitz looks at Jemma with concern, his eyebrows wrinkling.  “So, what - you want revenge?”

Jemma’s eyes widen.  “No, not revenge.”  She reaches to take his hand.  “Justice.”

—–

Fitz and Jemma write it out before going to Daisy with it, just to make sure that nothing goes wrong.  “I wish for Grant Ward to be safely apprehended by the proper authorities and to receive justice, either through a fair trial or the acceptance of a plea bargain, for the actions that led to me getting injured.”

Daisy’s eyes glint dangerously.  “Grant Ward?  Yeah, I know exactly who the proper authorities are.”

—–

Fitz doesn’t know exactly why Daisy wants him and Jemma at the police station.  He supposes she wants him to know that she’s making good on his wish.  It really wasn’t necessary - he trusts Daisy to do what she says she’ll do.

Just like Daisy should have trusted that Fitz would have gone to the police station on his own if she asked him to.  She didn’t have to just make Fitz and Jemma magically appear there.  It causes a lot of confused stares, and he shifts uncomfortably until he notices that Daisy is there, holding onto a handcuffed Ward’s arm.

Ward looks just as surprised to be there as Fitz and Jemma are.  “What - Skye?” he sputters in disbelief.  “What the -?”

Daisy shoves Ward down into a chair and produces an envelope out of her jacket.  “This is a handwritten and signed confession,” she tells the detective behind the desk, handing it over to her.

Ward is looking wildly around the precinct, and Fitz draws in a sharp breath when Ward’s eyes meet his from across the room.

“Are you kidding me, Fitz?!” Ward yells, jumping to his feet.  Jemma’s hand flies out to meet Fitz’s chest and she steps in front of him protectively.  “You have an actual genie!  You could have wished for her to fix you instead of actively ruining my life!”

“He doesn’t need to be fixed.” Jemma says fiercely.  “There’s nothing wrong with him.”  Fitz turns to look at her in surprise.

Daisy pushes down on Ward’s shoulder so that he falls back into his seat.  He glares at her.  “Did you put him up to this?” he demands.  “To get back at me?”

Daisy rolls her eyes.  “You know, at some point you’re going to have to stop thinking of yourself as a victim. If you can’t be around other people without hurting them, then you don’t get to be around other people.  That’s how this works.”  With that, she disappears.

Jemma turns to look at Fitz with alarm.  “What do we -” She stops talking when they find themselves back in their apartment.  Daisy’s sitting criss-cross-apple-sauce on their armchair.  “I wish you wouldn’t do that,” Jemma complains.  “It’s quite disorienting.”

Fitz sits on the couch.  “I got the impression that this was not your first time interacting with Ward.”

Daisy folds her arms over her chest.  “He owned the lamp for a while.”  She looks down at her lap.  “He wished for a lot of things I didn’t really want to grant.”

Jemma sits down next to Fitz, her thigh touching his even though there’s lots of space for her to sit on the other end of the couch.  “Do you want to talk about it?” she asks Daisy gently.

Daisy shrugs, still refusing to meet their eyes.  “Not really.”  She sighs heavily.  “I think I just want to be alone for a while, actually.”  She disappears and her lamp flickers on.

Jemma turns to look at Fitz.  “It must be pretty bad if she’s willingly going back into her lamp.”

Fitz doesn’t even have the capacity to think about what’s going on with Daisy - he’s still struggling to catch up with the events of the last 20 minutes.  Fitz takes Jemma’s hand and squeezes it.  “Thanks.”

Jemma raises her eyebrows.  “For what?”

Fitz doesn’t quite know either.  All he knows is that he’s profoundly grateful that he gets to face everything with Jemma next to him rather than alone.  “For being by my side.”

Jemma gives him a fond smile and squeezes his hand back.  “Where else would I be?”

——

“Okay, what about now?” Fitz asks Daisy while Jemma’s in the shower.

Daisy furrows her brow as she focuses far too intently on digging a spoonful of ice cream out of its carton.  “What about now?”

“That thing I tried to wish for the first time?  About whether anyone loves me?  Can I use it for my second wish?”

Daisy shoots him an unimpressed look.  “Anyone?  Really?  As if you care about anyone besides -”

“Jemma!” Fitz interrupts, as Jemma emerges from the bathroom in her robe.  

Jemma stops in her tracks.  “Yes?”

“Uh, nothing. It’s nothing,” Fitz stammers.  “Uh, how was your shower?”

“It was fine?” she says slowly, squinting at Fitz and Daisy.   “Everything alright?”

“Yup,” Daisy grins.  “Fitz just wanted to see if my powers could extend to making sure water always runs at the perfect temperature.”

“Oh!” Jemma looks up at the ceiling in thought.  “I suppose the temperature did fluctuate a bit, but it didn’t bother me.”

“Great! Thanks for the feedback,” Daisy calls out as Jemma disappears into her bedroom.  She turns to glare at Fitz.  “I told you I wasn’t going to let you waste a wish on that.”

“You told me you wouldn’t let me waste my first wish on that,” Fitz corrected her.

Daisy rolls her eyes.  “Like I said, wishes aren’t retroactive.” She shoves her ice cream in her mouth, apparently deciding to take out her frustration on it.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

Daisy pulls her spoon out of her mouth and points it at Fitz, “It means you already know someone loves you.”  

“Do I, though?”

“You’re pathetic,” Daisy informs him.

“Well, forgive me for wanting to be 100% certain before I go and ruin my relationship with my best friend.”

“Like I said. Pathetic.”

—–

It’s not that Fitz is opposed to money.  Money is nice.  Money is good.

It just feels so selfish.  And besides, the money has to come from somewhere, or else previously non-existent currency will be added into circulation and will probably crash the economy.  Even if Fitz wishes for a winning lottery ticket, he’d probably be taking the winnings away from whoever would win it if Daisy hadn’t fixed it in his favor.  There’s definitely a lot of people out there who actually need the money.

And Fitz isn’t rich, but he’s not poor either.  He’s doing okay for himself.  It’s not like it was when he was little, when his dad first walked out on him and his mum, when they were just scraping by.  He earns a decent paycheck now, sends some of it to his mum to make sure she’s comfortable, lives in a nice apartment with his best friend, flies across the pond to visit his mum when he can.  It’s a nice life.  

So Fitz doesn’t really know what to wish for - at least nothing that wouldn’t accidentally fuck up the whole world.  

“What do people usually wish for?” he asks Daisy.  It’s been six months at this point, and Daisy has slowly been making upgrades to their flat that has rendered it practically unrecognizable.  They have granite countertops in the kitchen, a state-of-the-art entertainment system, and one of those Japanese toilets that shoots out warm water at their asses after they take a shit.  It’s all stuff that Fitz could’ve wished for if the thought had even crossed his mind.

Daisy shrugs as best she can while keeping up with playing Just Dance.  “A lot of them wish to lose weight.  Or to have more muscles.  Or a bigger penis.”

Jemma drops her Wii controller and scrambles to pick it up.  Daisy snorts at her.  “Whatever,” Jemma mutters.  “I’m still beating you.”

“A few of them wanted to be famous, but they didn’t ask for a specific talent, you know?” Daisy continues.  “So they ended up being like, Internet famous.  Like, a video of them goes viral and then they get to go on Ellen.  Or they get their own reality show or something.  I’m pretty much responsible for Bravo’s continued existence.”

Fitz wrinkles his nose.  “I don’t understand why anyone would want to be famous.”

Jemma accidentally bumps into Daisy, and Daisy pushes her away.  “Constant validation?”

“Then why not just wish for constant validation?”

Daisy grins.  “Because then they get sick of me following them around and continuously telling them they’re the hottest and the smartest and the best at everything and have the biggest penis.”

“I’m sensing a theme here,” Jemma observes, her voice dry.

“Is the theme that guys are insecure about their penises?” Daisy asks brightly.  “Is that supposed to be news?”

Fitz groans.  “Okay, can we be done discussing penises now?” He stands and starts to shuffle towards his room.  “I’ll think of a non-penis-related wish, okay?  Jesus.”

“You can wish for me to never have to shave my legs again,” Jemma suggests.

Daisy makes a noise of disapproval.  “You don’t want to make that wish if you want to keep your legs.”

Jemma wrinkles her nose.  “Oh.”  She looks at Fitz with sympathy.  “This is hard.”

“That’s what she said!” Daisy exclaims.  She holds out her open palm towards Jemma.  “Up top!”

Jemma just looks at her, unimpressed.

“Get it?” Daisy prompts.  “Because penises?”  She looks at Fitz, who just crosses his arms over his chest and shakes his head.  “Come on, guys!” Daisy complains.  “I’ve missed a decade of ‘that’s what she said’ jokes!  Just give me a win.”  

“You have definitely been around for the past decade,” Jemma reminds her.

“Yeah, but my previous masters didn’t let me make fun of them or watch tv all day,” Daisy pouts.

And that’s what it takes for everything to shift into place.  “Wait,” Fitz realizes.  “Is that why you’ve been vetoing all my wishes?”

Daisy avoids Fitz’s gaze.  “You’re not making any sense.  Do you want in on this next one?”  Another controller appears in Fitz’s hand.

“Daisy, do you not want me to set you free?” Fitz asks, incredulous.

“Don’t be ridiculous, Fitz,” Jemma scoffs.  “Of course Daisy wants to be set free.”

Daisy shrugs with forced indifference.  “I mean, freedom would be cool, I guess.  But I don’t mind staying here, you know.  It’s not that bad.”

It’s clear Daisy doesn’t want to talk about it, but Fitz and Jemma exchange looks that make it clear that it’s a topic that will be picked up again on another day.

—–

As far as ideas go, it’s a pretty bad one, but it’s one that has the potential to solve both Daisy’s inability to just even (as evidenced by Daisy floating above the couch, limbs hanging limply beneath her, repeatedly groaning “I just can’t even.”) and Fitz’s general inability to relationship.

“I wish for the courage to tell Jemma that I’m in love with her.”

Daisy perks up at that and lowers herself to the ground.  “Oh, Fitz. You’re the best!” she enthuses, reaching over to pinch Fitz’s cheek.

Fitz swats her hand away.  “And why’s that?”

Daisy grins at him, delighted.  “You didn’t give me a timeline.  Which means that I get to choose when and where it happens.”

Fitz’s eyes widen.  “I meant courage as in, like, a general sustained feeling of optimism.  Not for you to puppeteer an actual love confession.”

“Too late!” Daisy actually does a little clap and hop, which is disconcerting because she’s way too giddy for someone who’s dressed like she raided the bargain bin at Hot Topic.  “This is going to be so fun.”

—–

In hindsight, Fitz definitely should have been suspicious when Daisy roped him into being her taste-tester in her sudden aspiration to be the Bertie Botts of vodka.  But it’s Friday, and work was awful, and Jemma’s out getting coffee with Milton because he’s in town for a conference, which, why did she even need to stay friends with him after they broke up?  Milton’s the worst.

“Okay, the birthday cake one is good, but I can’t taste the sprinkles,” Fitz slurs, pushing his empty plastic cup across the coffee table towards Daisy.

Daisy rolls her eyes.  “Sprinkles don’t even have a taste.”

“They do,” Fitz insists.  “They taste like happiness and rainbows.”

“See, all you have to do is capture the taste of light refracting through water droplets,” Jemma jokes.

Fitz does a double take.  “Jemma?  When did you get here?”

Daisy squints at Fitz.  “Holy shit, you’re way drunker than I thought.  She’s been sitting next to you on the couch for like an hour.”

Fitz turns to inspect Jemma, who’s suppressing an amused smile.  “Don’t get back together with Milton,” he pleads.  “He’s the worst.”

“That’s the third time you’ve said that since she got home,” Daisy informs him.

“God, I love you.” Fitz leans against Jemma, burying his face against her shoulder.  

If Jemma is shocked, she doesn’t show it.  She just sort of pats his back and murmurs, “Oh, Fitz.  I know.”

“Okay, but I mean like in a super romantic way,” Fitz clarifies.

“She knows that too - it’s also the third time you’ve said that tonight,” Daisy says, somehow sounding both amused and exasperated.

“Daisy,” Jemma warns.

Daisy rolls her eyes.  “Fine, fine - I’m leaving.”  She disappears into thin air because God forbid she should ever actually use her feet to walk anywhere,

Fitz sprawls across the sofa and lies down with his head in Jemma’s lap.  “I want to marry you and have your babies.”

He can practically hear the smile in Jemma’s voice.  “That might be difficult.  You’d have to use your second wish on a uterus.”

“I can’t.  I already used it.”

“On what?” Jemma starts petting his head and Fitz doesn’t believe in heaven, but he imagines that this is what it would feel like.

“I wished for the courage to tell you how I feel.”

Jemma’s silent for a moment, considering.  “So you basically wished for Daisy to get you plastered.”

Fitz frowns.  “No.”

“I could’ve done that without any magical powers.”  Jemma switches over to scratching his scalp.  Fitz leans into her touch, like a puppy starving for affection.  “Remember your 21st birthday?  I mean, we’d been legal at home for years,  but you wanted a proper American celebration.”

“I didn’t wish for booze, I wished for courage,” Fitz repeats stubbornly.  “So I could tell you how I love you.”

“So, liquid courage.”

Fitz frowns.  “You should’ve gotten the lamp.  I’m no good at wishes.”

Jemma leans down and plants a quick kiss on his forehead.  “I don’t know.  I think you’re doing okay.”

—–

All things considered, Fitz’s hangover isn’t terrible.  He almost wish it were, so he would have something to distract him from the stale aftertaste of regret in his mouth.  (“Regret” being the combination of banana bread flavored vodka and caramel coconut Kahlua that Daisy made him try.)

But the scent of bacon is wafting into his room, which makes him feel generally optimistic.  Jemma wouldn’t be making bacon if she were planning on moving out.

Jemma’s smile when Fitz walks out of his room is so bright and warm, it feels like basking in actual sunshine.  “Good morning Fitz.  How are you feeling?”

“Mostly embarrassed,” Fitz admits, sliding onto a barstool.  He props his elbows on the kitchen counter and buries his face in his hands.  “I’m so sorry.”

Jemma turns to face him, frowning in concern.  “What are you sorry for?”

“For vomiting my feelings on you.”  Fitz pauses.  “And also, for vomiting my vomit on you.”

Jemma smiles softly at him.  “The vomit only hit my feet - Daisy cleaned it right up.  The benefits of having a genie.”  Jemma turns back around to prod at the eggs in her frying pan.  “The part about your feelings, though.  I, uh…I didn’t mind it.  It was fine.”

Fitz studies the back of her head.  “It was fine?” he repeats.

“Go wash up, Fitz,” Jemma orders him, only sounding marginally exasperated.  “You smell like death.”

It’s not like ‘It was fine’ sounds especially promising, but Fitz still feels hopeful that Jemma is making him brush his teeth because there might be kissing involved in their immediate future.

When Fitz returns to his seat at the kitchen counter, there’s a plate waiting for him with toast, bacon, and over-medium eggs.  Jemma’s perched on the seat next to his, halfway through her own breakfast.

“Thanks for breakfast,” Fitz tells her.  “You’re too nice to me.”

Jemma tilts her head, studying him.  “You know I love you too, right?”

Fitz ducks his head.  “I mean.  Yeah. But -”

“In a super romantic way,” she adds teasingly.

Fitz figures that’s as clear a signal that he’s ever going to get, so he reaches over to slide his hand into her hair and presses his lips to hers.  He can feel Jemma smiling against his lips as she kisses him back.

“I can’t believe you were afraid to tell me,” Jemma says fondly when he pulls back.  “There were so many other ways to use that wish.”

“Like what?” Fitz challenges.

“Lifetime passes to Disneyland.”

“Okay, but once we’re there, food still costs a fortune,” Fitz points out.

“Lifetime passes to the science museum.”

“We get free annual passes through work.”

“Lifetime backstage passes to the monkey habitat at the zoo.”

That one does sound pretty cool, but Fitz is too stubborn to tell her so.  “So what I’m hearing you say is that you’re planning to spend a lifetime with me,” he teases.

Jemma leans forward to kiss him again.  “Yeah.  That’s the plan.”

—–

“Personally, I would have gone with Hamilton tickets,” Daisy says from the kitchen.  She’s slicing bananas for her peanut butter and banana sandwich, even though she’s perfectly capable of producing one out of thin air.

“He’s not my founding father,” Fitz points out.  He and Jemma are watching weird Pixar knockoffs on Netflix, and it’s the same as any other night except for that his arm is around her shoulders and Jemma’s snuggled into his side.  He has zero regrets with how he used his wish.

“Aw, Fitz.  Are you still so bitter about losing the Revolutionary War that you have to pretend you don’t care about seeing award-winning, critically-acclaimed musicals?” Daisy teases.

“Bitter? Definitely not.  I mean, Trump is president now, so it definitely worked out better for us than it did for you,” Fitz shoots back without looking away from the television. “I’m sure if any of you wanted to come back and admit this whole thing was a failed experiment, the Queen will welcome you back with open arms.”

“Are we pretending that Brexit didn’t happen?” Daisy asks.  “Is that a thing?”

“Daisy, just because you don’t live on the couch anymore doesn’t mean you can’t hang out in the living room anymore,” Jemma cuts in.  “You’re more than welcome to join us.  We’re only ten minutes into My Friend the Rat Chef.”

“Nah, I’m good,” Daisy says, carrying her plate back to Jemma’s former bedroom, which became her bedroom when Jemma moved into Fitz’s bedroom.  “Besides, you guys are being all nauseating and cute.”  She says it like she found gum under her shoe, but she’s totally smiling.

Jemma rolls her eyes.  “Don’t act like you didn’t want this to happen.”

“It really should’ve happened without my interference, but you two are surprisingly dense.”  Daisy pauses in the doorway.  “Speaking of dense, I made the wall between our rooms thicker.  And soundproof.  You’re welcome.”

Fitz squints at Daisy.  “I can’t tell whether you want us to thank you or apologize.”

Daisy opens her mouth, then closes it again.  “You know what?  Both.  Definitely both.”

“Thank you, Daisy,” Fitz says obligingly.  He tightens his arm around Jemma.  “But I’m not even a little bit sorry.”

[katerinabdb]

Movie night

Blay:  *I strolled down the busy street, and busy it was, civilians humans and vampires alike out shopping like mad, spending money many most likely didn’t have or they did. Either way, I was heading nowhere thinking of nothing in particular but I was tired of being back at the mansion staring at the same four walls. There was more to life than training, rotation, and the drama at the mansion with who was screwing what chosen or not, young being born, babies crying. It was not a calm household any longer. That was why I gone out, actually taken a car and left to go for a drive and ended up here at one of the Caldwell’s most famous shopping areas and was just people watching. But I was getting bored with that too and getting hungry. I could go out to eat, but for some reason, I didn’t feel like sitting at a restaurant by myself. Usually, it didn’t bug me but it did now. So what I do would grab a pizza on my way home from my favorite place and go home hide in the smaller cinema rooms and stuff my face with pizza, snacks, and beer. That was the best plan I had for days maybe weeks. With my plan in mind, I turned around and headed back for my car, not demating since I was in no real hurry. * @KaterinaBDB   

 Kat:   *The streets were swarming with people.  The sun had set an half hour ago and I had the night off from work.  The job at the tattoo parlour wasn’t great, but it paid enough to keep me from living on the streets.  The apartment I was renting now was really dirty and some days I was convinced the basements I slept in some nights before were cleaner.  But I had a place to call home and I didn’t have to drag my suitcase around wherever I went now.  I pulled my phone out of my pocket and went through the messages from my friends.  Blay stayed in contact and even Qhuinn checked in to see how I was from time to time.  Crhis’s visit from the the other night was a different subject altogether and my cheeks flushed just thinking about it.  I smiled as I read his msgs.  I had a feeling I would see him again soon.  We connected on so many levels and i knew it wasn’t one sided.  I scrolled down the messages and stopped at Blay’s last msg ‘let me know when you're free and we can meet up somewhere and catch up’.  Well, I was free now.  I smiled and sent a msg to Blay ‘I’m free tonight, wanna meet up somewhere?’*   @CorruptSoulless

 Blay: *I was just about to head inside to pick up my pie when my phone buzzed, I was about to ignore it thinking it was one of the guys trying to reach me and seriously my night off was mine to do with as I pleased. I didn’t feel to go a round with any of them, not really. I put the car in park, fishing my phone out of my pocket. I cracked a wide grin when j saw the text from Kat. I'd grown up with her when I was a kid and we all hung out quite a lot. Then she moved away but we still kept in touch. She'd been the one who first found out I was gay and helped me become comfortable enough with who I was to tell others. Reading her text made me happy she wanted to hang out and I couldn't think of anything better than having a movie night with her. “Hey lovely! I'm about to pick up a pie, go home to watch Horrible Bosses and eat popcorn want to come join me?” I hit send and leaned back in my chair, phone in hand anticipating her reply.* @KaterinaBDB

 Kat:  *blue eyes lit up as I read the reply from Blay.  A lazy movie night was just what I needed.  I was about to reply when I realized that he didn’t stay with his parents anymore but he lived with the Brotherhood.  Shit.  That could pose a problem.  I had no idea if I was allowed to go there or how I would get there.  I didn’t even know where the place was.  Fingers went flying over my touchscreen as I replied. ‘Sure, I would love to.  Where will I meet you?’  I hit send and waited for the reply.  My stomach let out a growl to remind me it was still empty and I walked over to the fridge, grabbing a KFC box with some leftover chicken from the night before.  Cooking in this place wasn’t an option.  I was surprised the KFC was still there.  I half expected it to have been carried off by some weird bugs.  If this was how all humans lived, I could understand why our race looked down on them and refer to them as rats without tails.  It’s disgusting but it’s all I can afford for now.  I was still looking for a better job or a second job, but night shift only was hard to come by.* @CorruptSoulless

 Blay: *Texting her back I reply “I am just picking us up a couple pies and then I can come pick you up. Why don’t you tell me where you live and I’ll come get you?” I knew Kat was back in town but I hadn’t seen her, I knew Qhuinn talked to her a few times but that was about it. It would be nice to see her again, we’d been close once. We could watch movies, eat and catch up and things would be like when we were kids. I’d love to hear more what had been going on with her over the past years, what she been doing and what her plans were. It would be a real nice change to talk to someone who knew nothing about what had been going on as of late. I was tired of hearing about it, tired to think about it and feeling the shitty residues of the Omega’s pull over me. I wanted me back, but somehow I thought maybe he was lost forever, no matter what happened in the future. Getting out of the car I put my phone back in my pocket and walked into the pizza place to place my order. Two pies should tie us over nicely I thought and went for a meat lover and a pepperoni.* @KaterinaBDB

 Kat:   *Blay’s reply was almost instant.  I put the untouched KFC box down on the kitchen counter and typed in my address ‘That would be awesome and it sounds like the kinda night I need.  Let me know when you are here and I’ll come down’ I hit send and picked up the chicken.  I didn’t want Blay to come up here and see this place.  If I could help it, I would keep them all from seeing where I lived.  I cursed myself for still having that Glymera pride in me, but it was a hard one to shake.  Mahmen always said, you can be clean even if you are poor, and that was engraved in my mind.  Taking a seat on the couch, I started eating the spicy chicken and waited for Blay’s reply when he arrives*.  @CorruptSoulless

 Blay: *A wide grin spread across my face when I read her reply. I put my phone down driving for her place, I knew the part of town and recognized it not to be the best place to live. I was going to asker her about it because if she needed help I'd do anything for her. It was Kat after all. I was going to get to see Kat, someone I knew, from my past someone who knew me too. I needed thus a good distraction from all that had been going on someone who knew nothing of the darkness, nothing about Q. It would be Kat and I with movies and snacks. Turning onto her street I brought my phone back out to text her to say I was outside.* @KaterinaBDB

 Kat:  *my phone vibrated on the table and without having to even check, I grabbed the box and put the chicken back in the fridge and washed my hands.  I grabbed my bag and phone and read the msg from Blay on my way out the door, triple locking it, not that I had anything valuable inside.  I made my way down the stairs and out the front door, a huge smile lighting up my face as I approached the car and saw the familiar face of a good friend.  True to his male of worth nature he got out and opened the car door for me.  I leaned in and gave him a quick hug.*  Evening, Blay!  It’s so good to see you!   @CorruptSoulless

 Blay:   *Driving up to the apartment complex she lived I couldn't help but worry about her living there. I wasn't sure I would be able to let her go back there and live with myself if anything happened to her. This was Kat we were talking about not someone random person, not that it matter but still. Texting her I waited and it didn't take long at all for her show up and when I say her I knew I was crazy smiling just as much as she was. “Kitty Kat!” I couldn't help but tease as we hugged “It's great to see you too. I've missed you!” I waited for her to get her seatbelt on before I put the car on drive and we were off.* @KaterinaBDB

 Kat:  *It was good to see Blay again and he hadn’t changed much except for his muscles that were ready bulging.  Wow.  The drive to his place didn’t take too long but I started wondering if he got lost as we drove away from civilisation and headed into the mountains.  When he slowed down, I almost asked him if he was okay and then suddenly out of nowhere huge gates appeared.  Squinting my eyes, I noticed that there were massive buildings where seconds ago there were only mountains.  I shook my head wondering how I could’ve missed that.  Blay punched in a code and the gates opened.  My jaw dropped as the building came into full view.  This was more like a castle of some kind.  It was massive and marvelous.  When the males told me they stayed at the Brotherhood compound I had no idea it would look like this.  My mind got stuck in awe mode as we moved through gates, doors and hallways until we found ourselves entering a cinema.  At some point later, when I was alone at home, I would try and make sense of everything I’d seen up to this point.  Right now, I wanted to be present and enjoy this day with Blay.   @CorruptSoulless

 Blay:  *As we arrived at the mansion I showed Kat in through the main entrance allowing her to take in the grand hall. I knew she probably wanted the grand tour and I’d be happy to give it to her but I was starving. Maybe if I allowed her to pick the movie I could lure her to watch a movie and eat first leaving the tour of the mansion for later. “Huge right?” She gave me that look as if to say are you fucking kidding me causing me to laugh and give her a one arm hug. “How about you pick a movie and we watch that while eating and then when that’s done I’ll give you the grand tour?” I asked Wrath about bringing Kat into the mansion explaining who she was and he agreed to letting her come so I knew it would be ok.* @KatarinaBDB

 Kat:   *Blay’s offer of a movie, food and a grand tour lightened my face.  I was hungry and a tour of this astonishingly grand mansion, or is it a castle?  I wasn’t sure. But a tour sounded exciting and thrilling.  Blay motioned for me to sit in the back row as he stopped to give the doggen our food order.  The leather seats were huge and reclining with large foldaway trays.  I picked a movie I had already seen but my mind was a blank*.  I’d like to watch The Mortal Instruments if you have it.  *Blay smiled and nodded as his fingers glided over the screen of a tablet before he sat down beside me.  I was amazed at how quick the doggen returned with a tray of starters and beverages.  The lights in the theatre dimmed and a small soft light brightened the tray enough to see our food but not interfere with the viewing of the large cinema size screen.  Food and beverages were brought in throughout and the timing was spot on.  We finished our last bite as the closing credits started rolling*.  That’s was great.  I’ve read all the books and it’s fascinating to see the books brought to life.  I do prefer the Shadowhunters TV series to the movie.. *I stopped babbling and smiled as Blay got up and offered his hand*.   @CorruptSoulless

 Blay:  *We had a great time just sharing the food and snacks as we watched the movie. Kat must have been starving if the way she ate was any indication. But from the look of where she was living, I wasn't that surprised. What Kat didn't know was that I texted Wrath during the movie asking his permission to have her stay here at the mansion for a few days. His reply had been pretty instant saying it was fine but that he wanted a report who she was and why she needed a place to live. I promised him to tell him the next day. As the movie credits came on I held out my hand to her. “Come on lady let me show you around and I'll show you where you can crash.” I smiled and then laughed at her raised eyebrows. “I would like you to stay, please Kat? I couldn't live with myself if I let you go back to that dump you call home.” I started leading her out the room her hand in mine “Speaking of, are you going to tell me what's going on?”* @KaterinaBDB

 Kat:   *Blay’s response made me blink a few times.  Stay here?  What was he saying?  Maybe he wanted me to spend the night here.  Yes, that must be it.  As we walked out the theatre hand in hand like the good old friends we were, my eyes tried to take everything in.  We were walking down a long hallway lined with magnificent statues and paintings.  The kind my family would give their limbs and organs for.  Blay’s question burned in the back of my mind.  He was waiting for my answer, but he was a gentleman and would never push for an answer.  I do ow him an answer though, I knew that much.*  I left my family’s home because… well, when I say it, it sounds childish but it matters to me…  left because my father was choosing a suitable hellren for me and he wouldn’t listen to any reason.  I know I must sound like a spoiled brat.  It’s just… I can’t be mated to someone I don’t love.  I’m tired of feeling like someone’s property and that’s exactly what I’ll be for the rest of my life if I took a hellren of father mine’s choosing.  Anyway, I left and he cut me off completely.  I managed to find a receptionist job at the tattoo shop down the road.  They wanted someone who could work night shift only.  It’s not ideal but it pays the bills.  *Saying all that out loud really made me feel even worse about my decision.  Countless people would give up everything to live the life I had lived, and here I was being ungrateful because I had some hard choices to make.  I guess freedom of choice is not overrated at all.  @CorruptSoulless

 Blay: *I knew there had to be a reason for Kat living as she did and that it had to somehow involve her family. Her statement about her dad wanting to match her up with some male to mate wasn’t till this day and age that uncommon especially not with the Glymera. Kat’s dad had always, at least if you compared him to mine, been a bit more stickler for the old ways, especially, when it came to females and his daughter in general. “I don’t blame you. We all have our limits right to what we can compromise on. Trust me I know all about limits and demands that come with setting them. So, how about it. You’ll stay here right till you are on your feet and then if you don’t like it here we can see about finding you a good place to live? A safe place.” I said with conviction in my voice but smiling to show her I wasn’t forcing her but cared about her. “Trust me we have everything you could ever need here and Fritz will get you anything that is missing and you want. Please.” I pleaded with her, I wasn’t beyond begging.*  @KaterinaBDB  

Kat:  *Blay’s voice bled with concern and it broke my heart.  He was a dear friend to me and knowing I’m making him worry saddened me, but I didn’t want to impose on someone else’s life. Even though this place was massive and there appeared to be enough room, it didn’t feel right for me to take it for granted that whoever this belonged to would be alright with this.  I didn’t want to decline Blay’s offer and come across as rude and therefor I proposed an alternative*  Will it be alright if I stayed until I could find a better job?  I have been looking and I have a good feeling about one of the place I applied at.  It’s called Safeplace and it’s not a human place, but a place for our race.  I think I may have a good chance getting that position as receptionist.  *Blay’s approving smile set my mind at ease and with that we continued the evening as he showed me around until we were both beyond tired.  The room he settled me in was absolutely magnificent.  I was used to glamour and exquisite things, but this was spectacular.*  #MovieNight with @CorruptSoulless       #SASBDB