#the poor kids didnt know what to do
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one of the things that fascinate me about thawne: yes, he CAN be normal with kids! surprisingly normal!
((not at all times, though. his mental illness still spills through and as usual he, in trying to manipulate or hurt others, spits out at them the exact stuff that would hurt him (or have in his childhood/barry's rejection interpretation) the most in the first place lmao))
but at the same time. his like second instinct when doing his bullshit is FUCK THEM (as) KIDS
(and, well. whatever this classifies as)
#whats wrong with him. seriously. he loves picking fights with literal children So Much#AND NONE OF THEM WITH WALLY ON THE MATTER OF BEING THE BIGGEST FLASH FAN. HOW DID THAT NEVER HAPPEN#about the middle page. honestly i DIDNT remember he is a Jerk in that way too until i checked his interactions with bart for this post#this man officially should not be allowed near children as a mentor.#just straight up drops ALL his insecurities on a poor kid in trying to make him feel ashamed. NO breaking the abuse cycle for this bad boy#the only thing he doesnt say is the direct 'you are a disappointment' altho the message is still the same 💀💀💀💀💀💀#AND I BET HES HELLA PROUD OF THAT. I MEAN CONSIDERING THIS FACT IG HE DOES TRY TO BE BETTER THAN HIS PARENTS. SOMEWHAT.#and omg he formulates his point like in problem based learning (leading the child to making the correct conclusion themselves)#im dying. professor to the fucking core.#and the way he feels the need to bring up flash facts in his appeal?? EO YOURE SO HOPELESS. THIS IS 100% HOW BART SAW HIM THROUGH#and god knows what he told thad promising to get him out of the speed force if he fought barry there and whether he was going to fulfill it#and do you even IMAGINE how FUCKED barry's mental condition would be growing up if thawne fulfilled his button threat#and i really REALLY wonder about the tornado twins and their relationship with 'uncle eobard' but that will be a separate post#he doesnt know any other way tho. and he might be actually mad at bart for not supporting his every action as The Flash#like. he tries to play family but the second they question he just goes WHATEVER. I DONT NEED IT. FLASH OF MY VISION RUNS ALONE#his problem is that he just wants attention. he doesnt see family/heroing for what 'its really about' or downsides that may come with them#everything is so idealized in his head. and the moment he faces reality with its complications the concept immediately gets antagonized.#and then he reconsiders and changes the conditions but fails each time never realizing the problem is his mindset and not everything else#black white at its finest yall#and man. RELATABLE.#also WHY is he standing LIKE A STATUE when appearing in front of bart????😭😭😭😭#poor museum rat has no idea what heroes in real life stand like#eobard thawne#professor zoom#reverse flash#the reverse flash#bart allen#the flash#dc
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ok so realistically i know theres important character reasons Kendra (and Seth and Warren by extension) never suspect Gavarog. It’s the old society trick to set up threats as team bonding exercises, etc, etc. plus this is a new and unfamiliar world thats rapidly overtaking her real world and replacing all her existing relationships, and right now Gavarog’s like the only member of her magical-worl peer group, so she doesnt want him to be a traitor, just like she didnt want Vanessa, her only female mentor to be a traitor, etc , etc.
but also i wholeheartedly 100% believe that every time Gavin did some truly bizarre, weird ass shit Kendra was just like. damnnnn…. average home school kid behavior.
#like fr tho#is it not just#damn why is this kid whose always telling me about his social anxiety somehow not even a little anxious when we’re actually doing shit#also why is he simultaneously the cockiest motherfucker alive#oh right he grew up on a preserve#damn did this fucking teenager just casually offer to carry a full grown man on his back while jumping at full speed over ledges???#damn i always knew homeschool kids are freaks#like maybe this is my mormon background showing#but everyone knows the stereotypical homeschool kid (tm) right??#fablehaven#why does this kid just casually seem to know what hes found more than every actual grown adult on this dragon preserve?#well shit it this is what he was doing instead of algebra#this poor kid#his father should be in jail#oh shit kendra you cant say that navarog ate his dad 😬#why didnt he laugh at my meme refrence?#damn his dad was probably just like grandpa#has he ever even seen a computer before?#…… tbh breaking kendras stream of thought here#but shit maybe im more sleep-deprived than i thought
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the thing i love about bill cipher is that even after i've learned all of this stuff about him, seen him at the most vulnerable he'll ever get, seen him at his most innocent, i still can't give a flying fuck about trying to justify his actions. yes he's traumatized, yes he was twisted into what we know today, and while it gives a semblance of context to why he did what he did, it doesn't matter. he still ruined ford's life. he still drove and baited multiple humans to suicide. he still tormented every human he saw as his ticket out of the consequences of his own actions. he still took delight in his actions. he was willing to commit genocide for fuck's sake!!! (freezing all of the humans into statues). trying to explain away what he did does not get rid of what he did, but it certainly puts it in perspective. you won't be catching me being a bill apologist any time soon <3
#gravity falls#bill cipher#the book of bill#pleaseeee dont kill me guys#also if anyone tries to twist this and apply it to ford i WILL be setting myself on fire#because like. i've seen many people hate on him because of what he did objectively#but the difference between ford and bill is that ford did not LIKE it. let me break down things ford has done @ stan that ppl dont like:#1: he was the favorite child hands down (not ford's fault. he was a kid. he was shoved into the role by his father)#2: considering leaving stan behind for west coast tec (which we dont even know was his intention. what if he wanted to bring stan with him?#what if he was going to ultimately turn the offer down? what if he went and still kept touch anyway? speaking as a guy who grew up#gifted in a poor neighborhood; college is your TICKET outta there. you'd do anything to do so--BACK ON TRACK)#3: didnt defend stan when he was being kicked out (he thought stan sabotaged his and his fams ticket out of poverty. of COURSE he's pissed!#also he was 17. of COURSE in the moment he wasnt going to take his scrawy ass and stand up to his 6'6 abusive ass of a father. would YOU?#4: told stan to take the journal (ford was on the brink of death and insanity. all he had left was STAN to trust. it also wasnt him saying#to have stan stay away from him forever--it was just to take the JOURNAL somewhere. he NEVER said he COULDNT come back!#do you REALLy think that FORD could have explained all that properly when he has beeen TORTURED FOR WEEKS ON END? I DIDNT THINK SO!#anyways. the point is that everything the fandom uses to villanize ford is in fact a result of circumstances outside of his control#and while you can argue that bill is the same; compare the damage they have done. consider how their trauma impacted them as people.#think about how bill took his trauma out on everyone around him. about how even now he still feels no remorse in that prison.#think about how ford tried to FIX his mistakes. think about how he is human; how he acted in spite of his misery#think about what that fucking triangle did to that six-fingered old man.#....okay! that was a lot. lets hope no one sees this!!
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ok i thought about it and actually, the wildest thing in the wizard of oz series (to me) was when the tin man, scarecrow, and A Random Child whose name I can't remember all went to find the tin man's ex. and they stop at tin man's buddy's house, to see if he knows where said ex is these days, and buddy isn't there, so they go inside to wait for him
and the house???? is full of severed body parts?????? just everywhere, they're in a barrel by the door, they're on the table, just chunks of clearly human flesh and a mess of limbs and whatnot, tin man thinks this is fine, scarecrow is really creeped out, scarecrow opens a cabinet and finds a severed human head
tin man runs on over and is like "what the f- oh that's me lol" and it's??? HIS old severed head??? so the scarecrow is just barely recovered from this, tin man is explaining the situation of how he became tin again, etc. etc.
and then the eyes open
and long story short the tin man's soul transferred to his new tin body, but it takes more than having your soul removed to kill you in oz... so his old body is still alive, but without its memories and completely confused and disoriented
the friend comes back and casually mentions how it took a bit for the transferring to finish, and after that the head just didn't remember anything. that means there was a bit there where this head DID have all of the tin man's memories still, and as far as he knew his friend had just left him without a body in a cabinet, unable to move, while the rest of his body just... walked off without him. literally horrific and the tin man is just like "haha! how quirky!" and honestly it's not the worst thing to have happened to him so i can't fault him for that but like. i'd be a little worried if one of my oldest friends told me that they'd totally leave me in a cabinet while my soul slowly left my body and wouldn't even feel bad.
#yeaaaah im gonna be honest#you really should've told your ex that you didn't die :/#wizard of oz#tin man#tw dismemberment#it was so wild#the poor kid who DIDNT go on the original adventure#and DOESNT know that this is just how the tin man is?? wild#the friend was highkey so troubling#long story short not all of the body parts were from this tin man#someone else had become tin#and this friend had taken pieces from both of them and just. glued it together. literally used glue#and intended to use the resulting person as a servant#but the person had just kinda. left#i literally can't imagine#it's like being besties with mr. victor frankenstein#and then when you're a ghost you look and. hey. why're you sewing my old arm onto someone else's torso victor#victor i know i said id donate my body to science but this is weird now#VICTOR WHY IS MY OLD ARM ATTACHED TO A NEW PERSON AND DOING THINGS VICTOR#HEY VICTOR MY OLD ARM JUST KILLED SOMEONE. YOU MADE ME A MURDERER AFTER I DIED. REAL COOL VICTOR WHAT WAS THE PLAN HERE.#except in this case the resulting person#this isn't a joke#the resulting person went out. and married the tin man's ex#it was the wildest scene#him and the other guy who got turned into tin had#as it turned out#both been engaged to this girl#so they show up#and find out that she married both of their corpses basically#but the corpse was alive and just. pissed off all the time
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Me, my friend, and her daughter (she's 5) were walking at the park today and her daughter just reached up and grabbed my hand and held my hand for like 5 minutes while we were walking and i almost started crying
#she didn't want me to leave when i was leaving 🥺#we saw a little baby mouse in the visitor's center at the park and got the people there to rescue it and she wanted to pet it so bad 🥺#i think my new best friend is a 5 year old little girl even though I'm really awkward around kids#like what do you talk to them about? hello child i am 23 and depressed but you are 5 and adorable pls don't ever grow up#i gave her a bee i crocheted bc it was from a kit that andrew got me and it was supposed to be a 'turtle bee' where it was a turtle and you#took it's shell off and it was a bee. i only ever got around to making the bee part and then we broke up and i couldnt look at it anymore so#i gave it to her and she's like why doesn't it have a mouth and my first thought was well kid I didn't feel like looking at it anymore and#you'll appreciate it more than i will so you can have it even without the mouth.#im debating on giving her the squishmallow he gave me. cause it's currently wedged between my bed and the wall#but it's cam and he was my favorite squishmallow before Andrew got it for me. like i already had one this one is a different edition#so like i want to keep it bc it's a Christmas sweater cam. but i dont want to keep it bc ouchy memories. and she'd get more use out of it#than it being wedged between my bed and the wall so i dont have to look at it#we were driving back from this store bc her mom had to pick up a uhaul and she was too small to ride with her so she got to ride with me#and this poor little 5 year old had to carry the conversation bc i didnt know what to talk to her about 😂 she's like what do you do when#you're home and im like don't tell her you lay in bed all day you can't tell the chils you're depressed and im like i like to read and play#with my animals and crochet. she was very jealous that i have cats. and when we were driving back from the park i had music on and her mom#and me were talking and shes like I CAN'T HEAR THE MUSIC GUYS and her mom goes that's her way of telling us to shut up. and then we stopped#talking and she's like i still can't hear the music 🙄 so i turned it up some and im like jen im introducing your daughter to waterparks 😂
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endlessly funny but also disappointing how fans will completely misunderstand a characters style. you'll find a character who like canonically wears like only op shop clothing or comfortable athletic wear n the fans will put them in strapless crops n hard leather jackets n flower skater skirts n sparkly new heels like babe im sorry but the girlie is not from a 2012 polyvore page please understand who they are first
#like with fanart i can understand a bit of the fun of playing around with styles absolutely#like. lets see what this character might look like if they were in goth fits or smth yeah sure#but fanfic? ur kidding ur joking ur so ooc it hurts#they do not dress like that. pleas pay more attention thank you.#exceptions are of course made for lesbianism. some ladies are clearly supoosed to be butch but mainstream media didnt get the message u know#*obvi u can get nice stuff from op shops n all just that like. the whole like. point is the character is poor usually#n NOT buying a new outfit everyday like theyre on a teen drama
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being on the internet is so fun. i can come watch one of my childhood heroes make a whole twitter thread cyberbullying random women she's never met, putting anyone who says that's kind of mean on blast and then blaming them for the hate she sent their way via her hundreds of thousands of radicalized followers!
#like. jesus fucking christ#i dont expect better from her but its so fucking sad at its core. its just fucking pathetic#and thinking abt what her work meant to me and how much i loved it? and what it got me through?#i was reading these books to escape being bullied for seven years on end they quite literally kept me alive sometimes as silly as that is#yeah they sucked in a lot of ways i didnt pick up on but they were really important to me as a kid!#i would like to at least look back on birthday parties and road trips going 'well that wasnt perfect but i had fun and now ive learned'#rather than 'god i wish i had never heard of that'#and now shes. doing almost the exact same thing those people did to me on a larger scale. basically for a living#if she knew me shed probably call me the same shit they did back then. how sad is that#levi.txt#i genuinely want to know if she knows who anita bryant is. and if she can name anything specific anita did before campaigns#but then shed probably think of her as a fucking hero too. no sense of irony in her body#i just feel so fucking awful for the poor women shes calling out in those april fools posts. i hope theyre doing ok#i hope they can get away from the harassment somehow bc ive heard abt how intense it can be when it comes from her#and i hope they know theyre better women than shell ever be. its such a deeply mean spirited 'joke'
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Sometimes I think of Chicken Little from the movie Chicken Little and cry bc he's just a kid and he's all alone and his dad is ashamed of him and he lost his mother and he gets bullied and harassed bc he's small and kind of strange and he's the only person in the world that knows that the sky is falling and when he tries to tell people they don't believe him
#I WOULD HAVE BELIEVED HIM#ALL THAT PRESSURE ON THAT POOR LITTLE KID#AND THEN HE HAS TO SAVE THE WHOLE TOWN FROM THE ALIENS#THE ENTIRE TOWN THAT OSTRACIZED AND BULLIED HIM BTW#EVEN THE FUCKING MAYOR#LIKE ARE YOU SHITTING ME??#i wouldnt have done it#i would have just left them to get vaporized into the void#idk just after all that hes still so kind and he cares about everybody in that stupid town#AND THE SCENE WHERE HES LIKE BEGGING AND PLEADING WITH HIS FATHER TO JUST BELIEVE HIM#BC IF NOBODY ELSE HAS HIS BACK AT LEAST HIS DAD SHOULD#and he DIDNT#OH AND HIS DAD PURPOSELY SEPARATED HIMSELF FROM CHICKEN LITTLE BECAUSE HE WAS SO EMBARRASSED AND ASHAMED#IN FRONT OF EVERYBODY#idk chicken little makes me really sad#I KNOW THE DAD IS HAVING A HARD TIME I KNOW HES STILL GRIEVING HIS WIFE BUT OH MY GOD#YOUR SON NEEDS YOU. HE HAS NEEDED YOU AND YOU ARE JUST NOT THERE FOR HIM#i could have been a better parent#i could have done it i would have loved him the way he deserved#OH AND HE ONLY HAS LIKE THREE PEOPLE IN HIS LIFE THAT REALLY LOVE HIM COMPLETELY AND UNCONDITIONALLY#AND THEYRE ALL STRANGE AND OSTRACIZED JUST LIKE HE IS#the troupe of people that are othered finding each other. seeing their faults. and loving each other the way that they should be loved#will always EAT ME ALIVE#what was he. like 12?#if i had been in that movie i would have LOST IT if a kid that little had to go through and deal with all of the things that he had to#pretty much alone for most of the movie#i meam he had his three friends for half of it but theres a lot he had to do alone#i just watched it can you tell
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can't even look at myself
#jinx's hijinks#today was baad#first a bus driver is scresming at KIDS AT 8AM#im sorry people are poor or in a rush or didnt know their card was out of charge but its not effecting ur pay#SHUT THE FUCK UP#if were going to school you csnt deny us access to the bus bc thats denying us access to our education#and slso dont fucking yell at random kids#you do not know what other people are going thru idc if ur cranky shut it and dint yell at a 10 yo you crabby bastard#also public transport should be free#but back on topic#yelling is z massive trigger for me#and ive felt not quite real or gere since#i sont recognise myself in the mirror. i look like me but everything is off. and ive just realised how fast the oast 6 monthas have gone.#i need ti die abt it#but i tood a teacher sbt it all abd how im drowning in school work bc all the teschers are piling wirk on us out jf nowhere.#anc i got a well-being referral#thats so fun! <- guy who is terrfied of his parents fibding oit about his bad struggles.
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I feel like I have an unacceptably low level of control over my body. Like obviously there are some things that no one can control but I have like actual big problems because of it. I'm not really sure how to describe it but it's not just me being really clumsy (although that is an effect of it) or even the tics I have.
It's like I can feel my body moving wrong constantly but I can't correct it and it hurts and it sucks and I'm tired. I'm tired of hurting myself, making mistakes, breaking things, acting like it's fine when in reality I'm constantly afraid of how much any movement I make next could hurt me. I need to move to stay sane, I want to workout and get stronger and go on walks with my friends. I wanna get better. I can't even roll over in bed without pain and I'm just so tired.
#opossums chronic illness rants#seriously though this sucks so much and idk if theres anything i can do about it but i wanna try#its probably a combination of a lot of different things#like muscle weakness and instability from ehlers danlos syndrome both making each other worse#along with the poor proprioception from autism the dizzyness and weakness from the dysautonomia#the fact that i cant really see and even possibly inner ear damage (thats a new one that ive been suspecting more and more recently)#im not sure if the ear damage would be just from built up ear wax or maybe or something else#but im really not having a good time because it brings back bad memories#when i was a kid (8 i think) my mom was convinced i had compacted ear wax but given that she refused to ever#take me to doctors she decided she had to fix it herself#which led to a lot of excruciating trials where she stuck wires and que tips stripped of their cotton into my ears#and tried to scrape out whatever she could. even though i wanted her to stop because it hurt so bad i would start crying everytime#im also mildly suspicious that might be what damaged my ears in the first place... but i really have no way to know that at the moment#all i know is i dont want anyone looking in or putting things in my ears ever again#it doesnt even matter how much i trust them because now anything put in my ears hurt#like even when im just regularly cleaning them with que tips it hurts and im reminded that might not be normal#idk if you read these tags let me know if cleaning your ears is supposed to hurt i guess?#im honestly not sure. like i just always assumed i wasnt being gentle enough or something but it doesnt matter what i do#its not super painful either just a little bit so i ignored it because i assumed it was normal#since a lot of 'normal' things hurt for me. which i now know to my surprise isnt normal at all but i didnt figure that out#until i actually got people to believe that these things were hurting me#apparently its very hard to find anyom#who believes that opening bag clips or trying to lift a jug of milk are actually quite painful for me#they usually just say im way overreacting and when i was a kid i just believed them i guess
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...It's kind of wild when the terf that you got into a fight with and had to write an essay on "Why violence is wrong" back in high school now works at the pharmacy where you get your medication from...
#I'm sorry for the vent I just am mad that she could be in a PHARMACY. I hope she's at least changed her ways.#she should not be working in health if she still thinks this way.#She definitely remembered me too. I don't think she could forget honestly. neither of us was injured btw.#It wasn't a “fight” in the way you think most fights are. she called this sweet trans boy the word rhymes with maggot (that's what she is)#a maggot.#while she was moving around a lot and idk. rage took over and I twisted her arm and she happened to fall and then I cussed her out#I probably over did it but moving her arms around while ranting and then calling him that just pushed me over. I WAS calm at first.#He was a shy and quiet kid and he “didn't want to make a big deal about it” so I tried to follow his request but... you know.#it was in theatre behind the curtains during rehearsal and everyone heard/saw so yea. I got into trouble. no detention surprisingly#it was a long time coming. she would constantly harass him with shit about how “You still look like a girl”. and using wrong pronouns#and teachers were told but they didnt' do shit. She also was just a mean person. This guy wasn't the only person she bullied#I only wrote on why VIOLENCE was wrong. not about what I did. The only thing I feel bad about is that I scared the poor guy I was defending#I don't remember what I said (I was that mad) but apparently I "picked her personality apart like a bunch of lego bricks and then told her#why the “lego brick” is fucked up“ He was just 14-15 and she was 18 btw😒literally harrassing a sweet KID.#was convenient though because all I had to do was give her a look and she would immediately back down. idk what I said when I yelled#at her but it was nice that I could do that whenever she would start shit#Mad rambles#idk y'all I'm scared that she's in HEALTH. if I know anything I'll see if I can report her because while I hope she wouldn't fuck with tran#folks medications idk for sure. she was really cruel back in high school.#vent#rant#I try not to post shit like this but I'm worried you know?
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i think paislies siblings wouldve loved randy and henrik
#just a thought#poor randy didnt know what to do with two kids though#with the two older ones in addition to the twins i think hed lose it /j#its funny to think about either way
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Happy Storyteller Saturday, Tori!
I hope you’re having a good weekend💜
This week's question is: What is a popular reductive writing 'rule' that you just love to break? I mean things like 'no head hopping' but see: Dune, or 'avoid filler words and run-on sentences', but The Lord of the Rings wouldn't be the same without them.
Hey, Sam! Thanks for the ask!
I detest 'writing rules.' And now having taken a college level short story class, I can now absolutely attest to that.
Can't claim to be Tolkien, but run-on sentences and commas are the lifeblood of my stories, the very driving force of my writing. Hehe. 🙃
On the opposite side: sentence fragments. Spliced thoughts. Bits and pieces of information with little transition. Single word paragraphs. They can all be pried from my cold dead hands, thank you very much.
All writing technique will be sacrificed to my one true calling: writing style.
#writeblr#writers of tumblr#sweet asks#storyteller saturday asks#the run-ons really do make lord of the rings what it is#and yeah i totally had a kid in my class tell me he didnt think my sentence fragments were allowed in my short story#to which i had to ask “what do you mean allowed”#poor kid didnt know that in fiction we laugh in the face of rules 😄
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like pirating is so normal 2 me i forget there r ppl who r like antipiracy which btw is stupid. obviously
#LIKE. IDK ITS JUST WEIRD. WDYM YOUR PARENTS JUST.. BOUGHT MOVIES ?????? did you not eat as a child. be serious#that happens sm where ill be like haha. yeah. you guys remember the ol 'oh im not hungry' trick your dad used to pull#and everybodys like what. no and im like no you know where hed be like oh im not hungry but after everybody else ate hed grab the leftovers#it is like annoying. like i understand not everybody grew up in poverty but the way ppl will act like its likee. insane#there was this one time where we were doing wants vs needs for 4th grade#and one kid was like a need is having your own room. and i was like <- shared a room with both of my siblings at the time Thats not true#and everybody in my class looked at me like i was crazy. like ok laura sorry your basement movie theater is bigger than my apt but we cant#all live like that. thats true btw there were these twins and they had a halloween sleepover party and they hsd to invite me bc class rule#and it was so like. there house was hugeeeee we didnt even go to their rooms bc 'they were messy'#but we just hjng out in the basement where there was legit a movie theater. and an entire seperate living room from their main living room#which we also werenr allowed to go in#genuinely think its bc they were forced to invite the poor kids Lmao. so we werent allowed to go to the main house#lest we get our poverty germs everywhere or steal something#but yeah it was awesome. but i also think that was one of my huge Oh life is unfair radicalization moments#but i mention likee. even lighthearted shit from my childhood. and ppl r like O_O THAT SOUNDS SO TRAUMATIC#and its like. the traumatizing part of poverty isnt like#being close witj my siblings and having done a lot of activities outside of like. going to disneyland#or getting a new toy every week. yk...im not saying poverty isnt traumatizing bc it is but its like#annoying that you mention anything abt it and evrrybody in a 50 mile radius is like POOR THANG!!! like. no i think its funny that we always#got rly shitty junker cars that my grandpa sold to my mom. i was joking sbt the fact that my moms never had a car eith functioning brakes#i wasnt like. asking for pity#but whatevrr
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I have this problem that’s like the opposite of nostalgia or something where some things I remember liking a lot as a child I look back and only remember the bad times.
This is specifically about Animal Crossing, loved that game as a kid, but I have literally no idea why, cuz it was just pure hell for me from what I can remember.
#also blues clues but less severe. I like blues clues. but my only childhood memories are when I was scared of it#YES I WAS SCARED OF BLUES CLUES. I HAD A HUGE FEAR OF MYSTERIES. IDK HOW OR WHY. ALSO MY MEGALOPHOBIA DIDNT LIKE THE CLOSE UP PAWPRINTS#the Halloween episode also scared me on several occasions. yes I was a baby. still kind of am.#but like I still have positive feelings about blues clues but ANIMAL CROSSING. ohhh man.#first of all that megalophobia I mentioned uh yeah not a big fan of seeing those big fish.#I was terrified of the rumor that you could see a GINORMOUS fish in the ocean. and I’ve been hearing it was REAL? worst thing ever.#but like. I couldn’t even take care of my irl self so you KNOW my village was totally trashed.#so I had to play while constantly getting told ‘everyone HATES living in this town’ and trying my best to fix it but it’s out of control and#I can’t bring myself to clean (I did it once. it was the happiest I’d been finally getting told positive things.)#my house always full of roaches too lol foreshadowing my life as an adult#ALSO THOSE FREAKING DANGEROUS BUGS WOULD GET ME ALL THE TIME I was always playing at night and getting terrified#I never had a ‘favorite villager’ in the traditional sense cuz none of them ever stayed long. they hated my town.#my fave was actually stitches but I never saw him. maybe I saw him once and he IMMEDIATELY moved out. that was my life.#I can’t name a single villager I ever had in my village cuz they always moved out. I learned not to form attachments even tho I wanted to.#and don’t even get me STARTED on Resetti. if you are a Resetti lover then WE ARE NOT MEANT TO INTERACT 😭#I’m joking I won’t judge you as a person if you like him but at the same time I genuinely on god hate him#opening up the game was a nightmare cuz I knew without fail every time I would have to see him.#‘just save’? it wasn’t ever ME that was doing it. it was my little siblings. and NO I couldn’t stop them. they were like GODS at stealing#not to mention parents would always side with them and make us share the games. they liked to delete saves and were gods at that too#but anyways so I was always stuck with Resetti cuz my siblings couldn’t leave my game alone and also couldn’t bring themselves to save befor#stopping. so every day it would be Resetti. I dreaded it so much because he is like SUPER reminiscent of my abusive step father at the time.#I often cried while just desperately trying to get thru his lectures. they were SO. LONG. and OH MY GOD the time he made me repeat something#I legitimately don’t know what it was but like I kept failing it. I know I was rlly bad with copying things as a kid#there was a time where I made the painful decision to quit in the middle of his rant. knowing that it would be worse next time but I was#simply unable to take it at that point in time. HOW EFFED UP IS THAT. THAT I JUST WANT TO PLAY A DAMN GAME BUT I CANT CUZ OF THE TRAUMA.#I hate Resetti I hate Resetti I hate him so much ‘oh he’s just a character’ THATS WHY IM FREE TO HATE HIM BABY!!! IT MAKES IT WORSE THAT PPL#DELIBERATELY CREATED A CHARACTER LIKE THAT HONESTLY! WHY WOULD THEY DO THAT TO POOR INNOCENT ME!!!#anyways yeah literally everything about animal crossing is so distressing to me and yet I remember loving it. no idea why.#my memories of it have like a dramatic and eerie vignette#and that newer one that came out and everyone was so excited. I can’t handle it cuz of the FISH AGAIN!!! MEGALOPHOBIA BE LIKE!!!!!!!
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Will never forget being a kid and telling someone i was south african only to have them ask:
"Did you have clothes in africa?"
"Had you ever had a bath before coming to Australia?"
"Did you live in a house with walls and bricks?"
Like. Yeah, I guess we were 8... But also i feel like a lot of people's understanding of "Africa" has never really progressed past that point.
#its why i get so like... tetchy about generalisations regarding africa#like. its one thing if people are like. have you ever seen a lion in the wild. cos like. for aussies you do just see the wildlife loose#but some people 100% uncritically view africa as a backwater with everyone living in tribal societies#like we dont have skyscrapers too#like the poorest countries in the world have high rises and skyscrapers...#like yeah there is abject poverty too. and its poor person poverty not white person poverty. like poverty poverty#but that doesnt mean that the people arent.... human...?? yknow?#idk ive just dealt with a lot of very dehumanising attitudes#also im white so i had a very priveliged upbringing but when kids asked those questions i was IMMEDIATELY intimately aware that they saw me#as lesser#i wasnt a peer to them. i was beneath them. i probably hunted my own food and didnt know what a supermarket was#but yeah. being “from africa” brings interesting baggage i tell ya#lets just say that your parents playing the “kids starving in africa” card is *a lot* more effective#esp in my case bc my family was very poor in ZAR and food was always a bit of a touchy subject#when ur parents are skipping meals so you can eat and you have the misfortune of being a bit fussy... yeah...#yeah. you dont really get to have sensory issues with food. like my parents relented and let me skip peas and corn bc they would make me#have astronomical meltdowns. but like. other foods i had problems with too but they were 6/10 bad instead of 10/10 bad#so i just had to learn to eat them anyway and mask my emotional reactions.#im still trying to unlearn this. i still feel so guilty when i struggle with a texture and leave food on my plate.#and im still learning to be okay with having certain foods be like absolute no-go's without feeling foolish or childish about it#didnt even realise i had the coriander soap gene at first cos i am not unfamiliar with eating things even if my body says NOOO#anyway. long tangent. but the whole “you could be living in poverty right now” thing instead is... its like the parent nuke#i remember i got so offended once when my friend said that he hated being Australian and complained about what was bad with it#and like. he had points. Australias not perfect. but i have Immigrant Baggage and so complaining about Australia is also like...#idk like. i could be living in south africa. im pretty stoked to be here..#so my brain cant be normal about it. and im also paranoid about people thinking im a bad immigrant for having problems with Australia etc
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