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margridarnauds · 4 years ago

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pagan-soul replied to your post “My absolute HATRED for the term “Celtic Mythology” VS my desire for...”

Why do you hate that term? ��

So, I decided to give this its own post because I really feel like it does deserve it, since it’s the kind of thing that I think most people outside of the field don’t really think about and you deserve the best answer you can get, though I’m not sure how clear I’m being. If there’s a point that I’m not clear on, please ask me to clarify, since I can never tell if I’m being entirely coherent. I’m not sure if I can give you a FULL answer, since some of this is slightly outside my pay grade (given I don’t get paid, that isn’t hard), but I’ll try to do what I can.

For most of us in the field, I think, we generally hate it because it’s very, very imprecise and a little misleading. There really ISN’T a singular “Celtic Mythology”, just like there was never really a singular “Celtic people”. There were a vast variety of Celtic-speaking groups, spread as far out as modern-day Turkey, and each one of them had a unique cultural environment. Cernunnos, for example, does not have anything to do with, say, Bres mac Elathan or Rhiannon. And, in fact, in terms of the times that each one of them would have been popping up, there’s a SIGNIFICANT difference in ages.

(Taken from David Stifter’s Sengoidelc)

At some point, as you can see on the linguistic map.....during the Proto-Celtic period, they WOULD have had roughly the same cast of characters, BUT that is a time that we really know little to nothing about, and even then, I do believe there would have been localizations depending on family group and region. We can TRY to reconstruct it by comparing different figures/names and then putting them in an Indo-European context. If, for example, you see similar things pop up in India, Ireland, Greece, etc., you can be fairly certain that it is [1] A pre-Christian survival and [2] Specifically, a Proto-Indo European survival, aka going back to really some of the EARLIEST belief systems we have. If you have the same things popping up in Irish and Welsh contexts AND you have the name popping up in Gaulish inscriptions, we can be fairly certain that the figure is a REALLY old ass Celtic figure. Figures like Lugh, Ogma, and Nuada.....they are probably VERY old. Not that we won’t argue over it. Because Celticists argue over everything. (If you want to know about some of what Celticists have conjectured, I highly recommend Proinsias Mac Cana’s ironically-titled , given the topic of this post, book, “Celtic Mythology”. Now, some of what he said has been debated, because.....see above. Celticists. Arguing. We love it. BUT he’s a respected figure in the field, and my supervisor likes him so I’m legally required to like him too.) WHICH brings us to our next problem, which is that the way that each figure developed. Lugh, in an Irish context, is not Lleu in a Welsh context. They probably share the same root figure, at some point in their shared history. Their names match up TOO PERFECTLY for them not to. But the way they developed was specifically in the cultural context of Wales/Ireland. Lugh in particular is a VERY malleable figure. You can read three works where Lugh is in and get a VERY different reading of him in each one. (Good king? Machiavellian schemer? Flawed pragmatist trying to unite a people who won’t be united? A figure who’s more a symbol of kingship than an actual CHARACTER? Depending on the source and the time/context, you can get any combination. For what it’s worth, in the Early Modern period, there is quite a bit of matieral that shows a darker side to Lugh.) Saying, “Yes, these two are related” SOUNDS like it’s admitting a lot, but in reality, that still doesn’t really tell us anything about this hypothetical figure. If you put a knife to my throat and made me GUESS, I would say that he had some connection to kingship and sovereignty. Possibly, in relationship to that, sacral kingship, given that both Lugh and Lleu are betrayed by a woman to their deaths. But that is HIGHLY speculative and again, doesn’t really SAY anything. Lugh is Lugh and Lleu is Lleu. It’d be like trying to say that, because you and your cousin come from the same grandma, you’re exactly the same. Now, you might be able to INTUIT certain things about your grandma from any common traits you and your cousin have, and that’s a valid line of inquiry, and it’s definitely one that plenty of solid Celticists have done, I am NOT denigrating their research, but you’re still you.

Finally, “Celtic Mythology” really is.....rather bombastic, as a term, for a group that almost always consists of Irish Mythology (and, sometimes, Irish folklore, which is VERY different from the mythological texts), with Medieval Welsh literature sprinkled in for a bit of flavor. (Even the term “Welsh Mythology” is controversial, simply because, really...it’s much harder to pick the MYTHOLOGY from the literature. Even harder than the Irish.) And, in the field, even saying “Celtic Studies” is something that we kind of do through gritted teeth because we don’t really have a better term for what we do. See that big-ass linguistic family tree up there? Yeah, I’m not too proud to admit that there are exactly two languages on there that I am in any way equipped to talk about: Middle Welsh and Old Irish. Now, an IDEAL Celticist, aka some of the best in the field, is a jack of all trades, someone who can talk about the linguistic evolution of at LEAST Old Irish and Welsh (including their modern descendants), with a solid background in Proto Indo European and the ability to at least comment on the various other Celtic languages. (There are some scholars who specialize in, say, Scottish Gaelic, Breton, Cornish, and Manx, but they are basically a niche in a niche. The field, as a WHOLE, is VERY much dominated by Irish, both modern and medieval. Which suits me very well, but does make me feel very bad for the other languages that get left out of the mix.) But that is a VERY small number of people in the field. Hell, I got met with basically crickets when I said that I wanted to study Breton, not because people didn’t WANT me to, but because the resources simply weren’t available, much less as an English speaker. (I still want to take it up, though.) I know of some professionals in the field who NEVER would call themselves a Celticist, simply because the term doesn’t really fit them. My paleography professor was, incidentally, one of them. Personally, I DO use it, because again, I don’t have another term.

But, and I can’t emphasize this enough, what I study isn’t a SINGULAR Celtic Mythology. What I study is Medieval Irish Literature, with a focus on the Mythological Cycle and, when needed, I can sometimes comment on the similarities to Welsh figures. I don’t LIKE it, because I feel like I can’t do the richness of the Welsh material justice, but I can do it if you put a knife to my throat. With stuff like, say, Gaulish Mythology....we can make very educated guesses based off of inscriptions and things that the Romans/Greeks said and comparing them to Irish/Welsh material, but we don’t really know. Can’t really know. And with others...there were no written materials during the medieval period, or at least none currently surviving. (This is why Old Irish and Middle Welsh to tend to dominate mythological discussion: The bulk of our medieval material does come from those sources. People can say all they want about the scribes who wrote down the Mythological Cycle, but the simple fact remains that, if it weren’t for them, we wouldn’t be studying these texts.)

For me, the term “Celtic Mythology” kind of lumps all the individual Celtic materials into one massive soup bowl, regardless of time, context, culture, or any other distinguishing features, and, most of the time, would be just as easily done by saying “Irish Mythology” or “Welsh Mythology”. There are very few times, unless you’re talking about the ENTIRE POSTULATED HISTORY of a figure, that “Celtic” is really needed and it tends to assume that Irish = “Celtic” (most of the time, I see posts where Irish, in particular, is treated as being the same as “Celtic”, and my ire in this instance is directed towards them) instead of admitting the full variety of what that term actually means. Irish IS a Celtic language, yes, absolutely, but it is not the be-all, end-all, and the two terms are not synonymous. “Celtic” is a very broad term that can only really be useful in a few contexts, mainly linguistic, and is insanely controversial in the field as it is.

On a religious perspective, since I know that this is inevitable in conversations like this, does this mean that I’m saying, going back to my original example, “No, you cannot worship Rhiannon, Bres, and Cernunnos at the same time?” No. I am VERY firm on my stance that I can only speak from the perspective of my knowledge of the field, NOT on other people’s belief systems. This is similar to if someone was to ask me about the function of a given postulated deity, where I can only say “The material as it was written down indicates x, y, or z, and most of us in the field are VERY hesitant to apply a solid function to these figures, but if you feel that this figure is guiding you to a given conclusion, that’s fine. It isn’t ‘inaccurate.’ I don’t believe that there’s any way for a religion to be ‘inaccurate' so long as it’s harming no one.” (Use Celtic Studies as a smokescreen for white supremacy and I WILL roll down your throat faster than a hot dog on the 4th of July, though.) If all three of them are calling you, that’s something that I have no call on. I personally think that it’s a HELL of a combination, and I’d wish you the best of luck, but....it would certainly be an interesting one. If you want to take the reconstructionist root and try to figure out how they would have been worshipped in the Proto-Celtic times, that’s fine (though I do strongly advise against human sacrifice.) You’d have a devil of a task, but it’s certainly a fine one, and in many ways, not too unlike what scholars like Mac Cana did. And, if you want to worship them as they appear in the texts or how they’re personally guiding you, that’s not something that I can make a call on one way or another. Again, this is about my own personal feelings, from inside the field, on the term and how it can be rather misleading.

#pagan-soul #long post #celtic studies #celtic mythology #irish mythology

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gyakutengagotoku · 4 years ago

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GS4 vs AJ:AA - Episode 1, Part 1

Look, guys! I’m being productive again! Hooray, it feels exhausting just as I remember it did!

As done before, every post I make will contain differences between the source Japanese and localized English versions of the same game, as well as further details about them, up to the following “To be continued...” screens and eventually the ending credits. As always, there are so many ways the localization can dress up certain lines in the original script to make them into jokes or at least more colorful, so I’m not going to pick out every one. It would take us an eternity longer than my hiatuses to finish otherwise.

To think it took a freakin’ indie game that's like Mafia but with astronauts and tasks to bring me back to the Ace Attorney community and back to my blog’s roots. Is this what they mean by “Circle of Life”? All I know is that I’m constantly running around in circles, both metaphorically and literally.

> Court Lobby

<Kristoph> やれやれ。ずいぶんカタくなってるみたいだね。 You look tense, Justice. Wound up tight.

<Apollo> そ。そんなコトないです！カンゼンに大丈夫ですから、オレ！ W-Wound up, sir? No! I'm loose! I'm fine!

<Kristoph> 声がウラ返ってるよ‥‥ まあ。ムリもないかな。 That screeching noise... Is that your voice? I suppose it's to be expected...

初めての法廷が、殺人事件とは。まさしく“オドロキ”ってヤツだね。 Your first trial, and it's a homicide. I guess "Justice" doesn't start small, eh?

Enter Apollo's signature "I'm fine!" catchphrase, or as it's originally known, "Daijobu desu!"

In the third box, "ウラ返ってる" from 裏返る (uragaeru) in this context is translated fairly, though it specifically refers to a "crack in falsetto" kind of squeak or screech. (Yes, squeaky Apollo.) Now, it's interesting to note uragaeru in a different context can also mean "to double-cross". To be fair, it's also a common phrase, like being "betrayed" by your own cracking voice, but the foreshadowing power...

In the fourth box, yes, they changed the name puns to suit the localized name. Kirihito (Kristoph) is just saying what a "surprise" it is for his first trial to be a murder case.

<???> たしか、きみは‥‥ So, you're...

<Apollo> あ、ハイ！オレ、大丈夫ですッ！ Fine! I-I'm fine!

<???> ああ‥‥“大丈夫くん”か。 Ah... Mr. Fine, is it?

<Apollo> え。 Uh.

<???> 変わった名前だとは覚えていた。 I did remember you having an odd name.

<Apollo> （さっそく、ゴカイされちまった） (Well, we're off to a great start.)

I'm just putting this here to assure everyone that Nick does first call him "Daijobu-kun".

<???> そろそろ時間だ。‥‥行こうか。 It's time. Shall we?

<Apollo> は、はいッ！ Y-Yes, sir!

<Apollo> （‥‥そうさ。　今は、とにかく集中するんだ） (...OK. I need to focus.)

（オレの‥‥王泥喜　法介の、　初めての法廷に！） (First trial, here comes Justice!)

I want to comment on how catchy Apollo's other lesser-known catchphrase is. Poor Odoroki doesn't have anything as cool as this.

> Courtroom

<Kristoph> 弁護士は、依頼人の希望を最優先させなければなりません。 A defense attorney must always cede to his client's wishes.

この王泥喜くんは、依頼人のご指名なのですよ。 And my client specifically requested Mr. Justice.

<Judge> ふむう‥‥わかりませんな。 Well, of course he wants justice!

現在、最高の弁護士と言われる牙琉　霧人（がりゅうきりひと）。 But to entrust his case to this greenhorn... Why?

それをさしおいて、こんなワカモノがねえ‥‥ I do not exaggerate when I say that you're the best defense attorney in town, Mr. Gavin.

<Apollo> （だ、大丈夫。発声練習の量なら、　先生にも負けないさ！） (OK, so Gavin's got trial experience, fine. But does he have Chords of Steel!?)

I just love this line from Apollo. Perfect timing and delivery. Odoroki's line is good too, though comes off as a tad more innocent: "I-It's fine. When it comes to vocal training, even Sensei can't beat me!" Though I have to say the image of Kristoph screaming during voice training is too funny to pass up.

> Enter Defendant

<Judge> まことにザンネンです。 This is truly an unfortunate turn of events.

ひさしぶりの対面が、このようなカタチになるとは。 I'm sorry we had to meet again under these circumstances.

‥‥成歩堂　龍一（なるほどうりゅういち）くん。 Long time no see, Mr. Wright.

<Phoenix> 忘れてほしいですね、ムカシのことは。 Let's put the past behind us, shall we?

今のぼくは‥‥そう。しがないピアニスト、ですから。 These days, I'm merely Phoenix Wright, piano player.

I may have mentioned it before, but I'll make a note here that the Hobohodo meme has its own version in the JP fandom: "ピアニート" (piani-to or pia-NEET), which is portmanteau of pianist and NEET, the most famous of Japanese government welfare programs for the unemployed. It's also slang for "hobo".

<Payne> これが、被害者の命を奪った凶器。 ‥‥グレープジュースのボトルです。 This is the weapon that took the victim's life. A bottle of grape juice.

彼のお気に入りで、いつも飲んでいるようですな。 Grape juice is apparently our defendant's drink of choice.

Many of you already know, but just in case: The localizers never censored Nick's fave drink. It was the JP devs who had to work with such censors back home, but eventually they just kept it as a running gag to put non-alcoholic fruit juices in fancy wine bottles. It wasn't until SoJ when the devs could get away with featuring a bit of alcohol. Their previous game was slapped with a CERO-C (15+) due to graphic images, so Eshiro and co. were pleasantly surprised to see SoJ get the classic CERO-B (12+) again.

Not to mention, very expensive high-quality fancy fruit juices do exist in Japan and can cost way more than your usual middle-grade wines. Japan and their fancy fruit culture and all. (I forget exactly, but I recall there were plenty of group pictures of the devs on their blogs and Twitters over the years where someone had gotten them fancy bottles of fruit juice as Christmas gifts. The memes live on.)

> After 1st testimony, decline tutorial

<Apollo> 先生が出るにはおよびません！ここは、オレでじゅうぶんッ！ No need for help here, sir! I think I've got this one covered!

<Kristoph> ‥‥“手下”みたいなセリフだね。大丈夫ですか？ I think you'd better do more than think. You know it, or you do not.

<Apollo> （大丈夫！　　発声練習は積んできた！） (I'm fine! The Chords of Steel are ready for battle!)

The differences here are subtle enough that I hesitated on including this, but Kirihito straight-up calls out Odoroki: "Sensei, you won't need to step up here. I'm enough for this!" "...Sounds like something someone unreliable would say. Are you going to be fine?"

> Press 4th statement

<Judge> ふむう‥‥ Hmm...

ポーカーといえば、５枚のカードで “役”を作って勝負するゲーム。 As I recall, in poker you make five-card "hands".

たしかに、イカサマが起こりやすいのでしょう。 I can see how it would be easy to cheat.

<Phoenix> フッ‥‥ “役”を作るゲーム、ねえ‥‥ Heh... Yes. A game of "hands".

<Apollo> ‥‥？ ...?

Now that I find this dialogue again, it's even deeper than I'd ever thought. In both JP and EN, Phoenix's line works just as well as the other despite having different double entendres. In EN, he makes a pun between the poker hands and people's hands; while in JP, the term used is "yaku", which is normally used to refer to hands in a card/mahjong game, but in more general cases, it means "role" or "responsibility". Naturally, in this case, there are a lot of hands and roles being exchanged rather quickly.

This case is dang amazing and I regret forgetting so much of what made it spectacular.

> Press 5th statement

<Phoenix> 賭けていたのは、ただひとつ。おのれの“プライド”だけだよ。 The only thing at stake in our game... was pride itself.

<Judge> ほほう。なんだか、カッコイイですな！ Ho ho! Well put, Mr. Wright.

私も“ポーカー”でヒト勝負したくなってきました。 I've got a mind to play a hand of poker myself...

<Judge> あなたの“有罪”を賭けてッ！ The stakes: your fate!

<Apollo> （“ヒト勝負”感覚で　決められてたまるかッ！） (Um... Can we get back to the trial now?)

For once, I'm gonna go with Odoroki's line as the cooler one: "(As if we're going to decide this trial like a game of "life-or-death"!)"

> 1st witness, before testimony

<Olga> 逆居　雅香（さかいまさか） ‥‥と申します。 My name... is Olga Orly.

レストラン《ボルハチ》でウエイトレス‥‥していますの。 I am employed as waitress in Borscht Bowl Club restaurant.

<Judge> しかし‥‥なぜ、カメラを？ Then... why the camera?

<Olga> もちろん、《ボルハチ》ジマンのボルシチもお運びいたします。 Of course, it is my pride to serve borscht that is naming restaurant.

でも、ワタシ。他にも、いろいろサービスをいたしますのよ。 But I also perform -- how it is said? Other service.

Just making a note here on how well Olga's lines are written. They really make it obvious that she's "not a native speaker" (for now). While in EN, they just made her English a little broken, in JP, she speaks in a very stiff and formal Japanese, as she is a waitress, but also on the occasion can sound a little off to a native speaker without being broken, per se. She also has a distinct "watashi" among a few other common words that are written in katakana to show a sort of accent.

<Payne> さて、証人。事件当時は、どこに‥‥？ Now, witness. Where were you at the time of the murder?

<Olga> ワタシ、あの部屋にいたんです。 ‥‥《ナ��ズモの間》。 I was in room. The Hydeout, we call it.

<Apollo> “ならずものま”？ Excuse me? The Hydeout?

<Olga> 伝説のギャング“ナラズモ”がタイホされたというお部屋。 It is room where famous gangster "Badgai" was arrested.

‥‥事件があった小部屋ですの。 Is room where murder took place.

<Apollo> なんだってェェェ！ Whaaaaat!?

<Olga> ‥‥そのビックリしたカオ、ステキです。 Your look of utter surprise... It is lovely.

あとで法廷の前に張り出しておきますので‥‥ I will post by courtroom door later for you!

ほしい写真の番号を、みなさまお書きくださいね。 Dah, dah, photos will be numbered, and you will write which ones you want copy of.

Okay, everyone knows how bad/obvious/cringe the name puns can be in Khura'in or certain ones from AAI, but please, does anyone not remember "Badgai" here? (Tbf, I forgot too, so I'm not one to talk...)

Btw, his original name is "Narazumo", literally "ruffian", and it's completely in katakana, which makes me think it's a codename or alias. She also specifies that he was a "gangster", not yakuza as we'd assume. Japanese gangs are a bit closer to gangs that we know of in the West, especially that they're more known for foreign influence to their styles than the much more traditional yakuza.

Also, I'm disappointed there was no Odoroki pun here. Sure, she doesn't know him, so it wouldn't make sense, but still a missed opportunity. Also also, she actually talks to the rest of the court when she says "you", so she's selling photos of Apollo's freakout to everyone. Classy...

> 1st Witness Testimony, press 3rd statement

<Apollo> “ロケット”‥‥？ His "locket"...?

<Olga> あのお客さまにとっては大切な“お守り”のようでした。 I believe it was good-luck charm, dah?

何度か握りしめながら、勝負をされていましたから。 He gripped it many times as he played that night.

<Judge> なるほど‥‥大空へ飛び立つチカラがみなぎるのでしょう。 Yes, he must have felt as though it might carry him to the moon and the stars!

なにしろ《ロケット》ですからな。 Though if it were small enough to fit around his neck, it wouldn't have much lift...

<Apollo> ‥‥あの。ちなみに “ロケット”というのは‥‥ Um... The defense would like a clarification: this is a locket we're talking about?

写真を入れたペンダントのコト、なんですけどね。 I mean, a pendant with a picture in it, right? Not a "rocket"?

<Judge> 知ってます！ Of course! I knew that!

ロケットのカタチをしたアレでしょう。 It was probably a pendant shaped like a rocket. That's why she called it that.

<Apollo> ちがいますよ！カタチはカンケイないんです No, a locket's a locket! It doesn't matter what shape it is!

<Kristoph> ‥‥深追いしてはいけない。それが、社会のルールです。 It's considered bad form to poke fun at the hard-of- hearing in our society.

<Apollo> ��モヤモヤするなあ） (Hard of hearing, or hard of understanding?)

This entire conversation is just a joke on how "locket" and "rocket" are written the same way in Japanese, and I'm surprised how well it still works in English.

To clarify, Kirihito's line at the end is a bit different: "...Refraining from pursuing a line too far is a well-known rule in our society." "(Doesn't make me feel any better.)"

> After 1st Present, just before new statement added

<Apollo> （ヤレヤレ‥‥ 　慎重すぎるんだよな、先生は） (There's such a thing as thinking too much...)

（イシバシを叩いて　コワすタイプ？） (This horse is dead, let's stop beating it!)

<Kristoph> 聞こえてますよ、オドロキくん。 There's such a thing as thinking aloud too much, too.

It's conversations like this that make me wonder if characters can actually hear what the MC is saying/whispering or if they're breaking the 4th wall to hear their thoughts. Here, it's even more ambiguous in JP than the usual between Nick and Maya in prior games. Or are they suggesting that even when Apollo is thinking, he's still loud?

> After 2nd Witness Testimony, before cross-exam

<Judge> なるほど‥‥ Ah, how many times have I heard these words:

『むしゃくしゃしてやった。　今は後悔している』‥‥ "I done it in a fit of anger, Yer Honor, and now I regret what I done".

‥‥の、パターンですな。 ...A common tale, but true.

<Apollo> （成歩堂さんは、ハッキリ言った。　『７年間、負けたことがない』） (Methinks the judge watches too many old court movies.)

（‥‥この証言には、ゼッタイ　“何か”あるはずだ！） (Mr. Wright said he hasn't lost in seven years, so this testimony must be wrong!)

I don't usually include entries for examples where the localizers dress up the text from the original, but this one here really bugs me. I'm not sure if it's a reference to some classic film or just a tip of the hat to classic American court drama movies in general.

If someone could help me pinpoint this one, please do.

> Press 2nd statement, press further

<Apollo> チップについて、くわしく話していただけますか？ Maybe you could explain a bit about these "chips"?

<Olga> そ。そう言われましても‥‥ E-Explain? What is there to be explained?

<Objection!>

<Payne> チップはチップです。 Poker chips are poker chips.

いつまで待っても‥‥ キップにはなりませんぞ！ They're not fish and chips, not a chip off the old block, not a motorcycle cop, not a...

Okay, the "motorcycle cop" bit got me. I swear this was a popculture reference (was it a song? It sounds so familiar), but I don't remember exactly where it was from! Someone plz help.

As for the original script, Auchi makes a silly pun. "[Poker] chips are [poker] chips. No matter how long you wait... they won't become tickets!" (chips = chippu, ticket = kippu)

<Apollo> ‥‥はあ。 ...Thanks.

（セッカクだ。　なにか聞かないとソンだな） (Now that I've pressed her I'd better ask something...)

たとえば‥‥そのチップ。 “円”ですか？　“ドル”ですか？ What are these chips worth? Are they in dollars? Or rubles, even?

<Olga> ‥‥あの。先ほども申しましたけれど‥‥ ...Nyet. As I have been saying before, it was game, not gambling.

ギャンブルではございませんでしたから‥‥ Hard perhaps for capitalist to understand.

<Olga> “１０００点”と “１００点”の２種類。 Two types of chip: 100 points chip and 1,000 points chip.

おカネではございませんの。 It is not money, dah.

<Kristoph> ‥‥オドロキくん。 ...Justice.

<Apollo> はいッ！ Sir!

<Kristoph> 今の証言‥‥ ちょっと、おもしろいですね。 Don't you find her comment... interesting?

<Apollo> え‥‥ In more ways than one, sir.

<Kristoph> 私ならば‥‥そう。証言に加えていただくところですが。 I'd have it added to her testimony, myself.

As funny as that capitalist line is, it's not found in the source, sorry, guys. Her text in Japanese is very formal, so it takes an extra box just to complete her sentence.

Also, worth to note that Odoroki here mentions yen and dollars, but not rubles, despite the restaurant being Russian-themed. Whether it's writer oversight or just Odoroki being uncultured will remain a mystery.

Lastly, Apollo's last line here makes him seem quite confident, but in the original, he seems just as confused as ever. This is made clearer when Apollo later presses the new statement.

> Press new statement

<Apollo> あの。小さい方が１００点、大きい方が１０００点‥‥ Um. The small ones are 100, and the big ones 1,000...

で、いいんですよね。やっぱり。 Uh? Right? Right. Of course.

<Payne> フン！　聞くまでもないでしょう。 Hah! Don't waste our time!

<Apollo> はあ‥‥ *sigh*

‥‥‥‥‥‥‥‥‥ ...

<Judge> 終わりですか？　それで。 Is that all?

<Apollo> ええ、まあ。 Um... Yeah. *gulp*

（くそ。牙琉先生のせいで　ハジをかいちまったぞ‥‥） (Great. Mr. Gavin made me stop her, and now I'm the one who looks dumb.)

<Kristoph> オドロキくん。 Oh, Justice?

<Kristoph> 私にハジをかかせないでもらえますか？ Please try not to embarrass me like that.

<Apollo> え！　オレがですか！ Huh? Who? Me!?

The subtleties of this joke conversation were lost in translation. After Apollo wastes time with that question, he grumbles to himself: "(Damn. Thanks to Garyu-sensei, I've made a fool of myself.)" "Odoroki-kun. Would you please not pin this embarassment on me?" "Huh! Me!?"

> After Present, select "Number of chips"

<Apollo> おかしいのは、チップの枚数‥‥ ですよね、先生？ The odd thing here is the number of chips... Right, Mr. Gavin?

<Kristoph> ‥‥なぜ、私に？ ...Why are you asking me?

<Apollo> その。念のため、というか！ Uh... Just in case?

<Kristoph> ‥‥オドロキくん。もう少し、キチンと考えましょう。 Justice... It's your case I'm concerned about.

チップなら、写真を見ればすべて、写っています。 If you're wondering about the chips, just look at the photograph. It's all there.

老眼の裁判長さんでもカンタンに数えられますよ。 Even our judge with his failing eyesight could count them.

<Apollo> （‥‥あの裁判長なら、それでも　まちがえるような気がする‥‥） (That's not the only thing failing the judge.)

Damn, what a burn. Odoroki in the OG script simply went: "(...Knowing this judge, he could get even that wrong...)" which is a fair effort, but not a wildfire level of damage.

> 3rd Witness Testimony, press 4th

<Apollo> 口論の内容は、おぼえてますか？ Do you recall what the men were arguing about?

<Olga> そうですね。たしか‥‥ Dah, I believe so...

被害者サマが『イカサマだッ！』と叫びましたの。それに��して‥‥ The victim, he shouts, "you are cheater!" and then...

“異議がある”というようなコトを被告人さまが‥‥ ...the defendant shouts something like, "I have objection!"

<Payne> ‥‥出ましたな。おトクイの《異議あり！》が。 Shouting objection, eh? Old habits are hard to break!

まったく‥‥ハッタリづくしの人生ですからな。被告人は。 First he bluffed his way through the courtroom, now he bluffs his way through life!

<Objection!>

<Apollo> しかし！　勝負の結果は、成歩堂さんが“負けている”！ However! Mr. Wright lost the hand!

むしろ、アヤシイのは、勝った被害者・浦伏さんでしょう！ That seems to cast the shadow of doubt on Mr. Smith!

<Olga> “イカサマをやった上、　勝負にも負けた”‥‥ Humiliation from losing even when cheating...

そのクツジョクが、被告人の方のココロに、火をつけたのですの。 That is what set fire to defendant's heart!

<Judge> ‥‥そして、火のついた被告人は、どうしたのですかな？ So what did the flaming defendant do next?

Oh my God, as soon as I saw that "異議がある" (igi ga aru) my mind flashed back to those ridiculous Google Translated trailers of Gyakuten Saiban & Kenji on Nico Douga. Imagine if the devs at the time decided to play with Google Translate to see how "異議あり！" would look after switching it from Japanese to English and back. It would be one of the biggest brain plays by a game developer ever... which probably means it wasn't how it went, but it's fun to think about.

Anyway, I also like this snippet of dialogue for the judge's "flaming defendant", clearly alluding to "Phoenix" Wright. In JP, the bit about setting fire to his��heart is just a common idiom in the first place, but who knows? “Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney” had been selling fast in the West, so they could have been inspired.

> After Present, point out on the cards, examine victim's hand

<Apollo> 裁判長！　見てください！被害者のカードには、１枚‥‥ Your Honor! Look at this! One of the victim's cards...

ウラの色がちがうカードがまぎれこんでいますッ！ The back is a different color!

<Payne> え‥‥ええええッ！ Eh...? Ehhhhhh!?

<Olga> そ。そんなバカなッ！ Th-That's impossible!

アタシがシカケたのは、成歩堂のほうなのに‥‥ But I put that card in Wright's hand...

あッ！ Ack!

<Kristoph> ‥‥今、なんと言いましたか、証人。 ...What was that, Ms. Orly?

<Olga> い‥‥いえ‥‥その。アタシ‥‥わ、私は、ええと‥‥ No... Ny-Nyet! Er, I merely said, eh... Dah, I have, eek!

It's at this point when Olga's cover is blown, and in JP, it's more obvious because she stammers between using "atashi" vs "watashi". It's not very common to hear beginner Japanese students refer to themselves as the cutesy "atashi", though one who's a bit more well versed in the language or in anime may pick up on it.

> After Phoenix takes over the court, select when the cards were swapped, select "Olga Orly" who swapped them

<Phoenix> たしかに、あのゲームでは赤・青の２種類のカードを使っていた。 Mixing a card from the wrong deck... when the backs are different colors?

しかし‥‥逆居　雅香は、カードを配っていた張本人。 Remember that you're talking about Olga Orly... She was the dealer.

‥‥そんなミスをすると思うかい？ Do you really think she would make such a novice mistake?

<Apollo> （まあ‥‥オレでも　まちがわないだろうな） (Actually, I have trouble imagining even the judge making that mistake.)

This is another case of the localizers dressing it up. Odoroki says here: "(Well... even I wouldn't make such a mistake.)" as if implying that he's the lowest common denominator here, haha!

> Back to Court Lobby

<Phoenix> 人間の思考・感情というものは ‥‥かならず。 Try as they might to conceal it, everyone reveals their true thoughts in the end.

身体から“情報”として発信されている。 Their body language can become a valuable source of information.

<Apollo> そ。そんなバカな‥‥ You're kidding!

<Phoenix> たとえば。あの証人‥‥ 逆居　雅香を思い出してごらん。 That witness, for instance, Ms. Orly.

<Phoenix> 彼女は、ある証言をするとき‥‥ かならず“首筋をさする”。 She would touch the back of her neck during certain parts of her testimony.

‥‥気がついていたかい？ Did you notice?

<Apollo> い。いえ‥‥ （それどころじゃないよ、フツー） Uh... No. (C'mon, who'd notice that!?)

<Phoenix> “クセ”“コトバ”‥‥ それらが発する情報を読み解くこと。 Words, habits, twitches... It's all information for the reading.

それが、勝負に勝つ “鉄則”だよ、オドロキくん。 That's the secret to winning, Apollo.

まあ‥‥ぼくも“ある人物”に教わったんだけどね。 Someone taught me, and now, I pass the secret on to you.

It's this quiet moment between the two of them that really parallels with how Mia used to talk with Phoenix, and it's beautifully poetic. And I'd like to note that even Phoenix's speech pattern throughout this convo is quite reminiscent of how Mia talked, but with a bit of Phoenix's own style. Though in that last line, he could possibly have meant Mia, but more likely meant a certain someone with a similar power to Apollo. Ya'll know who I mean, (W)right?

<Phoenix> ああ。それから、もうひとつ。今回の事件だけどね。 Ah, almost forgot. One more thing. About this case...

ぼくはまだ、誰にも “本当のコト”を話してないんだよ。 You should know, I haven't told the truth to anyone yet.

<Apollo> えええええッ！（や、やっぱり‥‥） Whaaaaaaaa--!? (I knew it!)

<Phoenix> もちろん、“理由”がある。これからアキラカになるだろう。 I have my reasons, of course. All shall be revealed.

そして、ぼくの作戦には‥‥ きみが必要なんだよ。 And Apollo... I need you to be there, defending me.

きみの“能力”が、ね。 I need your power.

<Apollo> オレの、のうりょく‥‥ （声のデカさ、か‥‥？） My, um, power? (I had no idea my Chords of Steel were that special...)

The translation here is close enough, really, but Odoroki specifically describes it as the "intensity" of his voice and it's only the best answer.

Welp, I guess it’s back to the drafting board again and I may make this out as a daily or every-other-daily upload. We’ll see. I assure you, you won’t be waiting until next month, though!

#gsvsaa #gs4 #ajaa #turnabout trump #part 1

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many-gay-magpies · 4 years ago

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Smh i should really stop talking to my mom about anxiety/mental stuff because every time it only makes me feel worse

I love my mom a lot but like . sometimes there are just things that get on my nerves even though i love her. I kinda feel bad because like she tries so hard to understand and says she understands and I know she DOES to a degree so I feel bad for lowkey thinking like the whiny teenager all like "yOu DoN't UnDeRsTaNd Me" sometimes, y'know? Like the bottom line is our brains just work really really differently a lot of the time and she either wants to believe or genuinely believes that they dont

Every time I talk to her about my (non-clinical, probably) anxiety and what caused it (this girl bullying me for six years) she goes on to mention all the ways she was bullied as a kid and all the terrible shit she's gone through to say in the end "so I understand" when like all of that shit is way different from my experience so every time she says it inside I'm just like "yes but actually no"

Like, today i was talking about my bully to her and how I've started realizing that all my responses now are responses i was forced to give as a kid because of the situation i was in with my bully, and she went in depth and told me (all stuff she had already told me about before and also when i had been talking about my anxiety stuffs before) about how her mom forced her to sleep in curlers so she would have banana curls and made her wear dresses and how she got mugged really bad when she was older and all this stuff that is very valid trauma and sucks ass and i thank her for trying to understand me but at the same time all the shit that happened to her was surface level. Neither of us could control what was happening to us, because her mom made her dress like that and I couldn't just make this girl suddenly not have issues, but like a dress is still something you can change??? Take off??? Like it isnt attatched to you as a person. I cant change the fact that i exist, which this girl bullying me apparently hated me for. To her my existence was just like "oh i must hurt this person" not because of what i wore, what i looked like, etc etc.

She also kept subtly bringing up the fact that i had never been PHYSICALLY hurt by my bully and implying that because she HAD her pain was worse and i could have had it worse if my bully physically hurt me and ACTED on the threats to hurt me (which my mom's bullies did) and while yes that was true . My bully didn't threaten to physically hurt me at all so there were no threats TO act on she just talked to me like i was shit all the time and beat my self esteem about my personality into a meaningless pulp . I kind of wanted to scream in my moms face "YOUR PAIN WAS MOSTLY PHYSICAL WHILE MINE WAS EMOTIONAL, BOTH ARE VALID AND DIFFERENT" but i know she does know that-- but maybe it would have gotten the point across idk

I wish so badly that i could just tell my mom "I dont want/need you to understand, i just need you to be here" and like i could but . I'm not there yet

(Warning ahead, I'm sorry if this gets really long but like I wanna get it off my chest before i go to sleep bcs i feel like ill sleep better if i do)

Another thing that annoys me is that??? Every time??? I say something??? Or tell her how I'm feeling at the moment??? She just asks me??? "Why?"??? And yes its good to talk about stuff but I'm trying to explain to you in a polite way why i want to leave the conversation and that its making me uncomfortable and i just want to go to bed and you just go "but why are you uncomfortable?" Or like if i tell her I'm upset and i want to stop talking about it she goes "why are you upset? I dont want you to be upset" and I'm just. I literally just said i dont want to talk about this anymore can i please leave you cant control that I'm upset about this because continuing talking to you is just going to make me more upset because no matter what way i try to explain it i cant get my points across right to you and i dont want to say you dont understand bcs thats immature but you kind of dont understand

I want to tell her "This conversation isnt having the outcome i wanted it to have and i want to leave it before it makes me more upset so that i can go think on it for later" but I'm sure if i do. that shed just go "but WHY arent you happy with the conversation tell me so i can fix it" and if i tell her blatantly what is making me unhappy (the fact that she keeps saying she understands and pouring stories of her traumas onto me to "prove" that she understands) then she's going to guilt trip me when were talking in the future by emphasizing the fact that i dont like when she talks a certain way and be all like "oh i wont tell you about my OWN experiences though because you said you don't LIKE when I DO that" and i just hhhhhh

Like every time i tell her she doesnt understand and try to explain it in a way that she WILL and it'll finally click it just. Doesn't and it makes me feel so defeated because every time i do that she just circles back around to "well i experienced all these types of trauma so i totally understand" and i appreciate the effort but that just isnt the kind of support i needed to make me feel content

And also when i was talking to her tonight i told her about a specific instance that happened in like 1rst or 4th grade where I was crying because the girl bullying me was just in one of those. Bad Moods™ where like she hated me for existing and talked to me like i was a piece of trash she had stepped in or smth and then she and a couple other kids asked me WHY I WAS CRYING and I didn't want to tell her "hey I'm crying because you keep hurting me and i dont want you to" because if i said that she would just hurt me MORE so i made up a lie on the spot and said that my parents had a small argument (I'm a sensitive kid and will cry at the barest hint of conflict between my parents so it checked out) and i was crying because of it and . Out of that ENTIRE STORY the one thing my mom zeroed in on was the fact that i told a lie that "painted my parents in a bad light"

Just. Like. Yeah. It did. But I wasn't even thinking about that at the moment?? Like it didn't even cross my mind??? The only thing i was thinking about was that i was scared and in danger and i probably would have said anything to get OUT of that danger (as fake or ill-perceived it might have been). But no, even later on after i had explained that in basically those exact words she still went back around to say "oh if it was bad enough that you told a lie about your parents to get out of it then she REALLY fucked you up"

Which??? By the way??? Is a whole other reason why i try not to talk to my mom about this shit??? Because every time i open up about it and want to have a conversation in a more logical/organized/"well here's the situation and here's what we can do about it" kind of way she always turns it around and says stuff like "damn [REDACTED] really fucked you up didn't she" and "I didn't know it was that bad"/"I didn't know it effected you that bad, you should have said something!" which. Makes me Feel Bad™, for some reason way more than my dad excitedly talking about reptile and monkey brains and how stuff that happened to us in the past is engrained into our brain and still effects us now, like instinct

She also always turns all of my stuff talking about emotions into "oh you're just a teenager" "you're pms'ing" "you'll grow out of it later"

Like one time i told her that her mind was always in the past or the future, always worrying about the past or the future, never in the present, in response to her worrying a bunch about something and how i had my mind in the present more often and her response was something along the lines of "well you're like that because you're young and a teenager, you CAN stay thinking in the present because you dont have all that stuff to worry about like an adult does, I'm an adult and i work a bunch so i constantly have stuff to worry about" and like. Yeah theres some solidity to that. But also i literally talked about that exact thing with my dad and HE said her brain was always in the past/future and never the present so I'm pretty sure its not just a teen vs adult thing

And then towards the end of this whole thing when i had finally managed to tell her "hey I'm uncomfortable in this conversation can i please leave and go to bed" and even further explained that it was because i went into this wanting to have a more casual/logic-based talk rather than an emotional discussion and . she's kind of of the mind that "why did you bring it up if you didn't want to have a deep emotional discussion about it" and I'm just HHHNNNNGGGG but also i actually DIDNT mention it, first i was mentioning how id been having sensory overload lately and how certain sounds of words hurt and then she said i should have a doctor check that out and then i said "I've been reading up on anxiety and sensory overload is a part of that so i figured that's just what it was" (bcs my dad gets sensory overload a lot too) which then ensued a ten-minute conversation about how i probably dont have clinical anxiety because mine isnt as bad as/like all the many, many people my mom has known who DO have it (throughout which i kept trying to tell her "just social anxiety exists too tho" to which she would respond "yea but u dont have these symptoms of general anxiety so i dont think u have it" and while i hope and think i dont i was just like HHHHHHH because i mean social anxiety and by social anxiety I DO NOT MEAN GENERAL ANXIETY YOU CAN HAVE SOCIAL ANXIETY WITHOUT HAVING GENERAL at least i think idk i might be wrong) which i ended by saying "i probably dont have clinical anxiety but i do believe my brain has been wired to react to certain situations based on how i had to react to those situations for six years" which then lead to me talking more about my bully and my mom pretty much siphoning as much emotional vulnerability and opening up out of me as she could

And then at the end i told her "can i please leave i kind of feel like crying and i dont want to do it in front of a person at the moment" (because I haven't cried in a few months and i feel like I'm in need of a good cry tbh which in itself is something she doesnt really understand) which lead her to go "why do you feel like crying now I'm worried for you" and HHHHHHEBDJBEHNDEJHBDNEHDBEH yeah--

There's probably more i could say but I'm not going to, because its almost 1 am and while i had actually been about to sleep early at like ten she ended up roping me into an hour or two long talk about emotions, which is. Fun. And i have to get up in six hours so I'm going to go to bed. Sorry if this was a mess which I'm sure it is, i really just needed to get this out there lol

Also when i went to my dad after this to say goodnight (i actually like talking to my dad abt this stuff a lot since his brain and mine are just really similar) he gave me this lil smile and just said "deep breaths" and that made me feel better

#magpie thoughts #and at the end she started doing that thing where she acts silly to try and make me happy and not feel like crying which is a good sentiment #but like i WANTED to cry tonight and now im not in the mood anymore #magpie rants

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purplesurveys · 4 years ago

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893

1. when was the last time you had a headache? what about stomachache? I had a headache around two nights ago but it was easily fixed with a painkiller. My most recent stomachache was last Sunday. I distinctly remember this because my stomach acted up over dinner and needed to go to the washroom, but my parents were in the middle of a fight and the tension was super obvious that I decided to just wait it out. 2. which one of your classes goes by the slowest? In my most recent semester it was business reporting, without a doubt. Shit felt like six hours long. I dreaded my Fridays because of it.

3. what is the best movie you’ve seen in 2009? THE PROPOSAL

4. the last time you walked somewhere, who were you with? Outside? I was walking from my car to the vet clinic and was carrying Cooper on one hand.

5. how long would it take you to walk to the house of the last person you kissed? If I HAD to walk, it would take 2-3 hours. She’s on the other side of the city and in a much more elevated area, so it will take a while.

6. where is your second home? My university.

7. what did you last have a conversation with one of your siblings about? I was telling my sister that we should let Cooper socialize with the masseuses who were coming over last night for my parents so that he can be friendly with strangers when he’s older. We never had visitors when Kimi was a pup, so he never got accustomed to strangers and we wouldn’t want to repeat it with Cooper.

8. other than a dislike button, what’s something you wish facebook had? That’s pretty much it. I do want a thumbs-down option lmao

9. the last time you cussed someone out, why were you so mad at them? I was more depressed than usual last night and asked Gab to accompany me via call which I never ask for, but all she told me was that Friday nights are her video chat nights with her best friends. Needless to say I felt even emptier and I was so disappointed I just exploded on her.

10. robert pattison vs. taylor lautner, who’s hotter ; )? Robert Pattinson. Taylor was attractive too but soz, Team Edward all the way folks.

11. which part of your day was best: morning, afternoon, or night? Was? I mean when I still went to school, my favorite bit was probably the afternoon. Hated mornings because I always dreaded the drive; and evenings made me sad because the house being empty just made me feel lonely. Kimi helps of course, but sometimes I just found myself longing for a complete family to come home to. I loved being surrounded by my friends in the afternoon and taking short walks to buy street food with them, so that’s why I enjoy that part of the day.

12. what did you smoke out of the last time you got high? I’ve never gotten high.

13. do you have the person you hate the most on facebook? I don’t have a person that I hate the most. I dislike the people I dislike equally, ha.

14. how many times did you clean out your text inbox today? I never delete messages, if that’s what you mean.

15. what’s something you would do drunk but never do sober? Dancing and singing in public. Being boisterous. Saying hi to strangers hahaha.

16. honestly, could you live without your computer? Yep. I did for a while, and IN COLLEGE. If I survived that and managed to get good grades and passed all my reqs, I think anyone could survive without a computer or laptop.

17. what is more annoying, people who take forever to reply to texts or when they only say ‘k’? I don’t mind k’s actually. It’s just how some people text. And usually the case is that they’re never that stoic in person, so I’m not too bothered. Late repliers bother me a lot more.

18. is there anyone you know who looks good in pictures but ugly in person? That’s just mean lol. I know people who are the opposite, but that’s a lot less mean because at least they’re actually attractive, they’re just not photogenic.

19. have you ever had a night that’s been hands down the best night of your life? if so, describe what happened? I’ve had lots of those because fortunately my parents stopped being strict with me once I entered college and let me stay out late, haha. The most recent one was when Hans invited me and Gabie to a thanksgiving party celebrating the first year of his and his friends’ small business. It was at a club at BGC and we just acted like dumb college kids for once, and it was a lot of fun. When Hans’s crowd left Gab and I were left and we spent 2 AM-4 AM just walking around the complex, hopping to every bar and watching people get progressively drunker. We even saw someone get arrested at one point. I loved that night and I felt really free. Then Covid happened lmao, but I’m just glad I got to have that experience mere days before the lockdown.

20. what time do your parents normally get home from work? My dad comes home every four months. My mom gets home around 8 or 9 in the evening, depending on if she did a bit of shopping before going home heh.

21. who gets better grades, you or your best friend? Angela has always been one of the smartest people I know.

22. what is a word, if any, that you always have trouble spelling? I know nothing came to mind when I last encountered this question, but now I remembered about ‘dachshund’.

23. what was the last thing you got in trouble for doing in school? I never got in trouble except for that one time in 4th grade when Katreen and I got caught snickering.

24. is family the most important thing in your life? if not, what is? Not really. I’m a bit more focus on success for now.

25. what was the last awkward moment you experienced? So there’s these two boys that have been going door-to-door in my neighborhood selling baked goods, and I wanted to show my support so I got a few orders last Wednesday. I had given a larger bill, so one of them had to go back to their car to get change. I was left with the one boy and I didn’t really know how to initiate a conversation, since I barely knew him.

#survey #surveys

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mysterylover123 · 5 years ago

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BNHA Rewatch: Episode 34 “Gear up for Final Exams”

mysterylover123

I always break this one out around Finals week.

Pictured: Deku and Kacchan in 10 years. (Of course episode 34 opens with the Mineta bit).

Now to count down the Students in Class A from least to most smart:

20TH & 19TH:

Kaminari is constantly frying his brain with his own quirk, and Mina is used to just kinda coasting on her quirk and athletic skills, so they’re both last.

18th

Aw poor Aoyama. Not exactly great at anything.

17th

I dunno why but I thought Sero would be higher.

16th

OMG Tooru is eating lunch with the Dekusquad! Is that where she falls?

15th

Kirishima 15th, same # he placed in the 1st popularity poll oddly enough

14th

The biggest surprise of the bunch - introverted doesn’t =brilliant.

13th

I think I thought Ochaco would be higher on the list. She’s not dumb, per se, just middle of the road.

12th & 11th

I dunno i guess they’re supposed to be middle-of-the-road in everything.

10th

Congrats on the midway points Shoji!

9th

Why.

8th

Oji you do good.

7th

Nice, Kyoka!

6th

Tsu did good too. I didn’t think she was dumb or anything, but she’s not geeky like Momo so it seems surprising.

5th

The third smartest of the Big 3? Wow, Shoto. Always second best, aint’cha?

4th

My best boy is so smart and cute.

3rd

The biggest surprise of the poll - at least, first time around. You assume Bakugo is dumb. He’s not.

2nd

Iida is Class rep, but still second in grades to...

1st

Best of the best! Momo Yaoyorozu I love you.

Aw Shoto noticed she’s feeling down. Let the Todomomo/BKDK arc begin!

Ooh Uraraka looks really mad about Monoma being mean to Iida. (Or maybe it’s supposed to be Deku. I don’t care. Iichaco hc)

So if Monoma is Class 1B Bakugo, who is Kendo? Iida? Deku? Kirishima?

Kendo mentions an older classmate, and my HC is that it was Nejire. She hangs with Nejire in the Culture Fest Arc. I think they’re friends.

LOL This scene is like a rundown of all Bakugo’s most popular ships.

KACCHACO

Because Uraraka knows exactly what Bakugo is thinking.

TODOBAKU

Because Bakugo makes sure to challenge Todoroki too.

KIRIBAKU

Because Kiri talks about him like a spouse.

and of course, BAKUDEKU

PAY ATTENTION TO ME. (More in the corner)

“You’re getting worse than I thought” Gotta love that villain FauxShadowing.

This is how y a do The Power of Friendship right, in my opinion.

Now a rundown of my ships taking the exams/Studying!

Kamijiro!

Todomomo!

BKDK! (Oh my god they’re the two halves of me taking a test)

Kirimina!

We’re just missing Iidaraka

An approximation of my initial response to learning that the next arc would be about pairs of students fighting their teachers: YAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

TODOMOMO VS AIZAWA?! I’M TOO BLESSED COULD IT POSSIBLY GET ANY BETTER

OH MY GOD

YES IT CAN

BAKUDEKU VS ALL MIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!

OMG BEST PREMISE EVER (Or so I thought at the time, not to know that it could be topped. That’s MHA, always topping itself). Can I also just say that the design of the Final Exam arc is brilliant. I noticed this a lot in comparing it with the PL Exam later on, but I personally think of it as Hori’s own License to Print Character Development, and I absolutely approve.

This is probably the arc that changed the most from adaptation in manga to anime - and although I adored this arc in the anime the first time I saw it, there are a few changes in it that I think are actually not for the better. That’s to say, they make for more entertaining television, but they also change the characters.

Firstly, changing it so the tests happen one after another, instead of simultaneously like the manga, means that the characters have different amounts of time to strategize ahead of time. This puts a certain light on the big character moments in the arc, particularly Momo, Shoto, Deku and Kacchan. 4 of the top 5 smartest kids in class, and they don’t even try and strategize beforehand? Made sense in the manga where they had no shot, but in the anime, not so much.

Second, also, Uraraka isn’t really the type to do this, she’s too laid back and Type B, so the anime having her strategize with Deku...I guess it’s a way to throw in some ship tease, but other than that it does nothing for her character arc, or any of the other seemingly random characters they throw into the strategy room along with them. Basically, it’s anime filler, so I don’t really care about any of it except Deku’s observations, since those are from the manga (he observes the others after he and Kacchan pass).

For the record: Manga Order: Todoroki and Momo vs Aizawa, intercut with Midoriya and Bakugo vs All Might; Todomomo first, BKDK second. Deku then observes the other teams for a few chapters as they all pass, with Mineta being last.

So Fight #1 in the anime: Kiri and Sato vs Cementoss. There’s this lady on Youtube who did these really great analyses of the first four fights of the FE arc (never got around to doing the rest) so I’ll put links to her (Excellent!) analyses of those four fights. LINK: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pUABh3SiaMs

I’ve noticed that Kirishima is often the first one thrown under the bus in school exercises. This, the Joint Training Arc, the training camp...maybe that’s where his insecurity issues stem from. And with a little tease of Tsuyu and Tokoyami vs Ectoplasm, we leave off.

So yeah, another episode I really enjoy. I gotta tell you guys, the Final Exam arc is definitely a favorite of mine. I actually like it even more in the manga than in the anime, for the reasons I’ve outlined above, but it’s still a blast and I was so happy to see it as the next arc. i wasn’t ready for a new villain-based arc yet, and the sheer premise of BKDK Vs All Might is so amazing, I’m hyped as hell just remembering Episode 37. Oh, speaking of...

BKDK CORNER

We focus in on Deku, contemplating his Great Destiny, as Mina and Kaminari talk about how complacent they are in their chances of success. Cue Kacchan, like an embodiment of Deku’s subconscious, telling them off.

I’ll stop the world and melt with you.

This line has a bunch of different translations, all basically meaning ‘I’ll beat you’. The Shippiest is the English Dub, where he says “I’ll show you how much better I am.” Which plays into his Notice Me Senpai hidden attitude towards Deku. I think it’s a mix of both “I want to beat you” and “I want to impress you”. Deku is quiet here. He’s very quiet about his feelings for Kacchan throughout all of Season 2, but he still quietly demonstrates the importance of that dynamic through his actions in the Sports Fest (inspired by Bakugo) and his Full Cowling (also inspired by Bakugo).

Aw they were already standing together.

I’ll talk more on the symbolism of BKDK fighting All Might in Episode 37, but oh man, this is the best. Like, THE BEST. I love this fight. To Sum: They both want to be All Might, each is half of the whole, and they both have to expel that perfect-imperfect image of him they have to make it. Also, I totally think Aizawa and All Might ship it. “I went with relationships” Yup. You sure did, Aizawa.

BEST GIRL OF THE EP: No new best girls this ep

RANKER: Final Exam Arc Fights

10: MINETA AND SERO VS MIDNIGHT

This one is really dull because Midnight just doesn’t do very much to win the fight. You need the teacher putting up more of an effort!

9. URARAKA AND AOYAMA VS 13

They just...kinda fluked their way into winning.

8. SHOJI AND HAGAKURE VS SNIPE

Poor Snipe, There’s not a lot he can really do in this situation

7. KIRI AND SATO VS CEMENTOSS

Short and quick and to the point.

6. MINA AND KAMINARI VS NEZU

Poor dopes never stood a chance.

5. IIDA AND OJIRO VS POWER LOADER

Short but kinetic and exciting.

4. TSUYU AND TOKOYAMI VS ECTOPLASM

Some good strategy here and Tsuyu did really great.

3. KODA AND JIROU VS PRESENT MIC

Jiro is underrated best girl.

2. TODOROKI AND MOMO VS AIZAWA

A brilliant fight of strategy and character development.

1 BAKUGOU AND DEKU VS ALL MIGHT

How could it be anything else?

#my hero academia #season 2 episode 20 #gear up for final exams #midoriya izuku #katsuki bakugō #katsudeku #bakudeku #All Might #momo yaoyorozu #eijiro kirishima #wow i really rambled a lot here #more in this than i put in the last arc put together #you can really tell where my priorities are #huh #gimme that bkdk angst #that dodomomo character development #bring it on

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billehrman · 5 years ago

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Curb Your Enthusiasm

While we have made tremendous strides fighting the coronavirus, we want to temper some of that enthusiasm as it relates to the markets as we have a long way to go until things are settled. Clearly it is good news that growth in the number of new cases of the coronavirus is cresting which will permit some states and countries to open. We believe that the pace of the recovery will be slow until we have a therapeutic, antivirals, contact tracing, more testing including antibody tests and eventually a vaccine. While we finally can see light at the end of the tunnel, we will not see a semblance of how things were until 2022.

The financial markets are fighting a tug of war between global economic weakness and tremendous liquidity to the tune of over $7 trillion having been created so far by all the monetary authorities and governments around the world. We find it amusing to listen to the pundits who constantly remain one step behind getting bearish as markets decline and bullish when the tape is rising.

We are in a unique economic environment where we see only a handful of fundamental winners over the next few years. These companies are benefitting directly and indirectly from the new normal where we spend more time in our homes utilizing smart devices to access services heretofore done in person. We would continue to avoid all companies needing government assistant who are in financial trouble due to the drop off in demand as a result of the coronavirus. We do not see demand for most of these companies returning to levels achieved just a few months ago until 2022 therefore profitability and balance sheets will remain challenged and at risk. Many may not even make it. We see the market tiering further over time giving higher than historic valuations to the winners in the new normal while avoiding the losers.

More than ever this is a market of stocks rather than a stock market. Active management is the only way to invest in the new normal as passive money managers will hold many of the losers that need to be avoided at all costs. It will be interesting to hear what Warren Buffett says tomorrow at Berkshire Hathaway’s online Annual Meeting. While he is the ultimate active manager, he has sung the virtues of passive investing for years.

The global number of coronavirus cases as of Friday hit 3.28 million with 234,000 deaths while the number of cases in the U.S now exceeds 1.1 million with over 63,800 deaths. While the rate of gain has crested, we remain concerned that countries and states are opening too soon as we do not have enough testing nor is there a therapeutic available so we can feel safe. We get how hard it is for politicians to risk of opening too soon. They have to weigh economic, social and emotional impact of not opening vs. the risk of the virus continuing to flourish and possibly resulting in death. Personally, my biggest concern is an acceleration of cases as we open, which, of course, would cause another lockdown. As we open slowly, we need to maintain strict social distancing and making the wearing masks mandatory for several more weeks.

We heard last week that Gilead’s Covid-19 treatment Remdesivir showed encouraging results from a key U.S trial. Patients who received the drug recovered in 11 days, on average, while those taking a placebo took 15 days. Both Drs. Fauci and Hahn, after reviewing the data, said that this could be a game changer and are supporting emergency authorization by the FDA to permit its use. And the FDA did grant permission for emergency usage yesterday. There was also some positive news on a vaccine from Moderna and Oxford University/Astra Zeneca. Bill Gates, who is investing heavily in this area, went out on a limb predicting a vaccine possibly as soon as in 9 months but certainly within 18 months. There are over 100 drug companies working on therapeutics, testing and vaccines. All good stuff!

It appears that monetary authorities have unlimited capacity to provide liquidity to the financial markets. We heard last week from the Fed, BOJ, Bank of England, and the ECB that each will buy unlimited amounts of bonds in response to the coronavirus. Again, all this liquidity will not create demand which really is the only way out of the global recession/depression. We will need as Fed Chairman Powell and ECB President Lagarde both said major fiscal spending programs to boost demand while also providing money to individuals/companies to make it to the other side. We expect our government to implement Phase 4 and 5 programs as needed to supplement individual incomes and provide money to small/medium size businesses to stay afloat rather than filing bankruptcy.

Bonds spreads continue to narrow which shows that monetary policy has provided enough liquidity to assuage market concerns. The bond market is operating very efficiently permitting companies to raise money up to 100 basis points better than expected. Boeing’s 25 billion offerings were oversubscribed by 3-4 to 1. U.S high-grade bond issuance continues to set new records each week. All good news!

We focus on long term profitable investing with a 12- to 24-month time frame. The market environment remains favorable as the Fed is providing so much excess liquidity not needed by the real economy such that it is pushing investors further out on the risk curve. We always maintain cash reserves knowing that the market could have a correction at any time providing opportunities to add to our portfolios at lower prices. We believe that the U.S economy will be bottoming out shortly which is good news even though we think the recovery will be an elongated U.

Not all stocks are equal. Corporations have never faced an environment like this so it is important to listen to earnings calls so you can differentiate the winners from the losers. Especially in today’s environment, you need to focus on management, strategies, and financial strength. Avoid at all cost companies with demand and financial problems as it will last well into 2021 at a minimum.

We continue to focus on the winners in the new normal. Our list includes companies whose business models are mostly tied to the web/internet/data centers where usage has gone through the roof. Our positive view on these companies was supported by their first quarter earnings reports and conference calls which demonstrated all their favorable short- and long-term strengths. The best is yet to come for each of them. The Democrats are proposing an $80 billion-dollar bill to promote broadband expansion and buying smart devices for all that cannot afford them. 5 G will play a major role as the next generation for cellular technology. If you can, listen to the Qualcomm conference call. We also added a financial and an industrial. Both are best in class and will gain market share/profitability as we move through the other side.

We do not own bonds, the dollar nor private equity funds.

Finally, we would hope that all countries work together investigating the origin of the coronavirus rather than doing it individually.

Our weekly webinar will be held on Monday May 4th at 8:30 am EST. You can join the webinar by typing https://zoom.us/j/9179217852 into your browser or dialing +14086380968 or +16465588656.

Remember to review all the facts; pause, reflect and consider mindset shifts; turn off your cable news; do independent research listening to the earnings calls and…

Invest Accordingly!

Bill Ehrman

Paix et Prospérité LLC

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whimsically-ominously-auspice · 5 years ago

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Uncle Donald gave her $800 in the 1980s

She let him invest it for her up until now

And she has now $45B

I hope you enjoyed your game as there are more to come but with more people as it enters TV for free of course on Channel Fox.

As always enjoy life and what it brings with the most care you can afford.

Don't let the economy, crumble, Uncle Donald, i hit up JP for some cash since Jesse stole mine from United Business Bank located in Oregon, Washington, and New Mexico.

I own Chase, bought it with Donald and sold to the US Government for a mint. Jesse could got in on this deal but he wanted to challenge me instead.

So I asked Uncle Donald for a cash loan, how much he could afford and what was in his wallet. $4000 roughly. So we split it between his 4 kids (the 4th being me) and I gave him back $200 for the rest of the day.

And we returned to the bank and I asked him how to deposit the money into Chase Manhattan because Denise had bought me clothes but I wanted to be a fashion designer and had altered them So she threw them all away in a rage of jealousy and heat.

Of course i started to cry so we went back across the street to McDonald's and we talked. He said "i have a surprise for you, lets get to the bank"

So we walked alllllll around the building, up and down and he talked to a man and got us inside all the back rooms. He said "i wanna buy it!" And he turned to me and asked "would you like to invest your $800 into my bank as an investor?"

I said "what about my clothes! She said i had to return the money or else i get none!"

"But who did she spend the money on?"

"Me and my brothers and and her!"

"Well don't you think Its time to invest in you and your fashion?" He asked for my $800 i had to pull from 4 different pockets and my sock as he taught me to split to beat pick pocketers. And handed it all. He handed me back $200 and I handed it back then he handed me a $5 from his breast pocket and t told me to keep it.

And began to walk to the counter to buy the bank.

I chased after him and put it in his left cost pocket and told him, 'well you know you bought me lunch so you keep it"

I pulled it from his pocket to produce proof I had already given it and he couldn't give it back and then stuffed it back in deep, all the way i nearly ripped his shoulder off for which I promptly apologized, jumped on the counter and rubbed his soreness off and jumped down.

And he started to cry a little bashful at first then a full sob. And I tried to console him and Robby appeared with a trailing line of toilet paper so his silk hanky wouldn't be soiled with snot.

He thanked him and became startled and asked if he wanted in on the investment.

Robby said, "i might but i need to talk to you, I belong to this boarding school ran by this might be soon white bigger as he calls himself, inspired by her and taken completely out of context"

"Michael Jackson" interjected our new found Uncle Donald. "Come let's sit"

We moved to the side of the spacious lobby to a small table accompanied by two plus club chairs.

He and i talked about how neat it would be to have chaise chairs in Chase bank.

"Well, her mom is abusive, mostly about money so i would like to take control of her stock with her permission"

"Yes! I do! And i will wanna get married!" I jumped with my fist in the air and pushed against the chair like a standing push up and stood

....

"Her sit. First I would like to talk to you as an investor. I am run by the boarding house and they teach us things like to steal and bring back to get 'rewards' much often things less than they are worth like a stick of gum for $2 when I can get a whole pack for 20 cents. Uh oh, here he comes"

"Im about to invest into this bank with these two kids you got something you wanna say to me?" Instead of waiting for a reply, uncle Donald got up and briskly walked to the counter, asking to return to a different room, promptly and away from Mr Jackson whom was still solidly black (he doesn't have vitaligo its just bleached).

And we entered a nearly empty office and he turned fiercely, angry even, "this will be your office where you will WORK"

...

"Its okay! We are still friends!" I climbed into the chair then up onto the desk "this is where I will sit"

"Well close your legs and sit like a lady, like this hand me your foot, no don't take off your shoe"

"Well I didn't want to ruin you! Your suit is NICE!!"

And he moved my foot and crossed my ankles and patted my knee and said "or you cross at here"

I took my ankle to my knee "no not like that, that's like a man. Knee to knee"

"Oh like this?" I squeezed my knees together

Robby laughed and Uncle Donald looked flustered

"Oh i know I know cross at my knees, you need to explain better!" I patted his shoulder. In the 80s it was okay to touch, at least for a child.

"I said that first!"

"Oh! I interrupt!"

"No apologize" Robby groaned

"I apologize for interrupting"

"For?" Asked Donald "you can't tell her that Because ---"

"No he could I get misinformation that way"

"Except when I'm being scolded and she knows the truth" said Robby.

Tune in next week for another Miss Adventure of one Wild Single Mom's Childhood!

I had 48 cents. Robby had put in 2500 front Hayes then 1500 each from Mark and Mike Andrews which he had not signed and they got rejected. Yet Jesse notified me of this, restricted my remote deposit privileges and now i am to notify the Sheriff of Hays County, Austin, Texas that the money is kept hidden in the tax and revenue accounts of his great county. And to open an investigation which he will pretend he did and then not. So i get his hush money as well as the other two and the $15B JP Dejoria stupidly just paid me because i Told Jesse to tell his father in law that Jesse is a stupid piece of shit which he didn't.

And of course I will invest in schools across the nation, installing playgrounds at any schools that do not have them, including intermediate, Jr high, middle, High and etc.. And may be finally lockers at least were I'm centrally located and/or where i want to be, namely at high schools at least.

Because that is what I want to do. Make people happy in the funniest ways possible.

And if there is any left I want to reinvest at the parks i originally invested in, initially, to make them better snd brighter, starting at the older to the newer.

I want the world to seem happier and brighter and in the case of schools at least around here once they hit 7th grade (middle school) they change schools to those that no longer have lockers or desks to put things in, 7 or more teachers to please instead of one or two they spend all day with, like a parent who gives love and kindness and retribution, they go through puberty which in itself is a chore. Then the kids riot. I've seen it in small schools and i know it happens in big ones. 20 in one week at the beginning of school less than a mile from my house where i can hear the school bell.

And so they need a place to sleep their weary heads like the shoulder of an old friend instead of weeping a soul they can no longer call their own.

The secrets i have included here broke my heart to where it actually stopped over and over.

Instead of asking what was wrong, Mr Moneybags Jesse sent me to the doctor alone. -.-

He could have provided me with what i needed like I provided and protected him from Ms Dejoria and Mark Hindberg, Afghanistan and Iraq, which I will no longer do.

He is the one that encouraged Michael Jackson to pickpocket the slaves he had created.

Yes Michael Jackson is Wacko, is Him and is burning in Hell because I killed him with my own pistol Jesse had stolen from a cop, altered and resold to himself at a cheaper price than the way over inflated price he created to create a deficit in his company to receive a refund from the US government's IRS Department in the amount of $8,000 instead of paying the $1M he owed.

I plead guilty before a judge and Uncle Donald, Mrs Katherine Jackson, the Anne my 4 year old daughter that Michael Jackson attempted to rape in front of me, as well as Robby, my true love and of course Sunny and Jesse James himself whom gave me the gun.

Then, before then President Barack Obama, i was exonerated and pardoned completely without the possibility of parole or any other misconceptions that would be included with self defense manslaughter.

This week total I have arrested a total of 19 men and women thanks to the CIA as an unpaid civilian.

That would guarantee me Presidentship of one really great country, now, wouldn't it?

Thanks. And not to be repeated: No more games. Only truth.

Until next time my fair weather friends!

Now! Let's grab the bookie!!! Snag! You're in jail. What did ya know, Mike Andrews, I knew all along that Mark Hindberg was FBI. Why didn't you think that?

Moving along, hi JP. How are you? No one cares. Good thing you trusted into your rapist daughter who was married to a true hero whom puts up with my shit even after we name him Mr Vomit cause I make him so scared he actually vomits like I did tonight (that's included. No more scare, only truth)

Oh yes, JP, you have already been arrested and so you know -- you have no guns with you, right? Alexis Dejoria is no rapist, she's actually an excellent FBI agent whom hates her dad and is included in any exonerations I may have to hand out butbat my leisurely pace, because she actually didn't rape anybody!

Also the US government will pay your wages as you did file a lawsuit this very week by signing up with Namus.gov like we all did.

She like me, was an unpaid civilian whom ran into luck. While she's smart, she's not smart like me. Thus she's the FBI vs me who is CIA and can work against the world in a millisecond as i usually do and have in Afghanistan and Iraq where i protected many NHRA members during their tours in the US Military while they served with Jesse James and my little brother and were even kidnapped thanks to Matt Hagan's temper tantrum and Jesse James refusal to listen to command. Eventually I saved them from that too in a day and 6 hours after leaving base. They were involuntary bound and gagged and beaten within 20 minutes of their capture. Within the next 20 when I was finally told of their status they were rescued by Tony Schumacher and his team.

And now i have saved the NHRA from being beaten and raped and tortured. My time to continue here at home is not wasted,

I love you all and thank you very much for listening...

And now i have something to say about Jesse since i made him puke from a lie via email Because he made me mad for being a Dick douchebag and not caring enough about me, not wrecking his motorcycle and then lying to make me feel bad and stupider than ever although I saw the wreck and my being a girl, up and President running, couldn't stop to rescue or assist a man on his feet whom had already picked up his bike after a wipe out and the trailer passed me up to show me he would assist because forgive those trespassers as we trespass ourselves and i care that he could really been hurt. That may be a fault of mine but it is called Grace and not salvation which is being my daughter reincarnated into a goat in Iraq to keep everyone safe because Jesse is a dumb dumb sometimes and Matt Hagan prefers truth over himself, sometimes. Like being in love with a goat of my daughter's soul, in Iraq. (I bet he fucked her, too. Bestiality freak. Not my business tho, nor yours. But still, let's laugh instead of poking fun at his misadventures. It is funny, yo!)

Jesse cared about the goat so much he listened to her over every one, even me. Because he believed she was closer to God where he needed to be..

I changed his life once in Alabama and several times then, over and over, any time that need be.

But finally for this one time he trusted somebody else and learned to love as much as he could, the soul inside of him.

So God bless to all of the two headed creatures we will see wandering around the backs of people at the NHRA in the future to come. Including even on me.

I'm Mrs Cougar cause of my fingernails and my desire to be with someone young to keep me fresh and Alive -- not by his blood byt by the life he gives me. And he will be Mr Snake the one who slithers up beside me only for love while I labor in the grass kicking myself for what i might have done but not for what i might have missed out on because I was there the whole time thinking and feeling and frolicking through the grass, same as me.

And of course my tattoo will be scary cause the world as I know it, very much can be.

And you can thank me for the past or you can think about the future and beyond!!!

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thebibliomancer · 5 years ago

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50 More Days of Comics! 37/50: Dark Horse Presents #137 (1998)

An anthology! I love an anthology! Ask anyone!

Apparently Dark Horse Presents was the first comic published by Dark Horse. Which is fair enough. And it ran from 1986 to 2000 when it was cancelled. And then volume 2 of Dark Horse Presents ran from 2007-2010 and was published on MySpace!

Wild.

Anyway, this comic has the Predator fighting Nazis so it must be exceptional.

So the first of the three stories is Predator: Demon’s Gold.

The story is narrated by an Ecuadorian remembering back to when he was a child. The Nazis came and burned his village and killed everyone in it except for him. Him, they needed.

Narrator: “They wanted the same thing white men have always wanted from my land: silver and gold. They wanted what was hidden high in the Llanganati Mountains, the secret my village had kept so long.”

And they tell him they’ll let him live if he leads them to it.

Something I learned while googling the Llanaganati Mountains to try to find out where on Earth this was set is that the Treasure of the Llanganatis is a pre-existing legend and not something this comic made up.

Per the legend, it was the gold and silver and platinum and assorted other treasures hidden in the mountains by the Incan general Rumiñahui. He had been gathering it as a ransom for King Atahualpa but when conquistador Pizarro just went and had Atahualpa killed anyway, Rumiñahui hid the treasure and never revealed where it was.

Except in this story where he told somebody who passed it down to a nameless village and a nameless narrator.

Knowing that actually adds to the story weirdly enough.

When frightened boy Narrator leads the Nazis to the “sweat of the Sun, tears of the Moon” treasure, they plan to kill him anyway.

And like in the legend, if you renege on a promise to let someone live in exchange for two rooms full of treasure, you don’t get the treasure.

Because as the boy prays to the Inca gods, his prayers are answered in a way.

I don’t know why he was there but a Predator was there and he starts murdering the Nazis in his gruesome Predator way.

Narrator: “These men who had butchered my village, they were ripe corn before the harvest blade.”

He kills the Nazi leader last, pulling his spine out by his head, like some kind of Mortal Kombat.

The boy assumes the Predator, who he thinks is a demon because sure, will kill him last “would demand one more sacrifice in return for protecting the sweat and tears” but with a swipe of his wrist blades, he cuts Narrator’s bonds and walks out of the cave.

Narrator: “But it spared me. And vanished back to whatever pit had given it birth. That was long ago: I’m an old man now. My own death draws near. You ask me where the treasure is? That secret I take with me.”

There’s so much intriguing potential here. Who was he telling the story to? Was this like a Titanic the Movie setup? Why was the Predator guarding Incan treasure? But alas, as far as I know, they remain mysteries.

STORY 2! My Vagabond Days.

Set April 4th, 1968 and centered around a boy named Martin who is generally unenthusiastic about school. But his teacher talks about Apollo 6 and tells the students to write three paragraphs on “What Would I Like to Accomplish.”

Martin and his friend Jerome already know they want to be astronauts!

And later at dinner, Martin tells his parents about his assignment, his mom noting he sounds excited considering he doesn’t usually do his homework without a spanking.

Martin: “I am! ‘Cause I know exactly what I want to be!”

Dad: “Oh yeah? And what’s that?”

Martin: “I’m gonna be ‘n astronaut!”

Dad: “Ha! Oh you are, are you? Is that what you think?”

Dad: “Astronauts get good grades, and they don’t get caught stealing an’ lying all the time. So where does that leave you, spaceboy?”

And Martin runs to his room to cry. Mom berates dad because this is the first time she’s ever seen him excited about his homework but dad says Martin will be lucky to get a job at all the way he’s going.

Later, Jerome calls Martin out to climb to the roof of their building and use binoculars to look at the moon.

They obviously don’t see astronauts on the Moon with binoculars.

Jerome: “So, what do you think you’ll accomplish in your lifetime, Martin?”

Jerome: “Martin?”

Martin: “... nothin’.”

Jerome: “No, I’m serious.”

Martin: “Yeah... Me too...”

Kids internalize stuff, parents!

This was kind of a bummer after seeing the Predator fight Nazis. Kind of jerking my emotions around, Dark Horse Presents.

Last story: The Ark Part Four

The last part of a multiple part story? You fooled me, Dark Horse Presents! Uncool!

Anyway, near as I can gather, there was an alien spacecraft that got shot down and unleashed a bunch of alien monsters who seem animalistic and not gleep glorp take me to your meepmorps.

Also they’re fairly resistant to bullets.

There are several convicts from the nearby prison and some prison guards or cops? who are with them and worried that the prisoners will attempt to escape in the confusion and then there’s a main guy maybe called Guidry.

He has the idea that since the town of Pruitt has been evacuated, they can vent the natural gas pipes underground, saturate the town, and then drop a match. Boom, no more alien monsters.

On his way into the sewers, Guidry cautions everyone not to take up smoking.

Jonas: “No problem. I’ve got a rule about cigarettes. Only after sex... Or when somebody punches up Leann Rimes on the tavern’s juke box.”

Guidry, later: “I’d like to buy her a carton of Marlboros, and I don’t mean for some country-pop listening party...”

Once the gas has been vented, the group runs into another problem. Somebody has to set it off. And there’s a monster now between them and the manhole.

Then somebody steps up to take the sacrifice.

Narrator: “I don’t know what prompted Dylan to do what he did. Was it out of some suddenly-discovered sense of obligation? I doubt it. Serial arsonists rarely undergo that sort of epiphany. But I can’t help remembering the look on his face. He wasn’t thinking of the pain, or the finality of death. He was looking for the cleansing embrace of the flames. I only hope it was all he had ever dreamed.”

And then the town blows up.

And all the monsters blow up. Except for the biggest and meanest of them. And now its pissed.

The four survivors flee the surviving monster and wind up back at the prison.

Guidry: “Guns, grenades, hell, Warden Moeller probably keeps whips and leather in the basement -- That doesn’t work, we can throw cafeteria food at the thing till it pukes to death--”

Hah.

The warden won’t let them in, even though one of the survivors is Sheriff Hiatt from Pruitt. So Jonas just kicks a prison bus open and drives it through the fence.

Jonas tells Warden Moeller to stfu and the prison guards open fire on the monster, to no avail.

Guidry has one last plan though and tells Jonas he’ll need her help.

So he aggros the monster to chase him through the prison -- and holy crap, this thing is tearing through prison bars like they’re twizzlers -- and all the way to the electric chair room.

He dodges behind the chair to trick the monster into skewering it with its claws and then Jonas turns on the power.

The monster is finally dead. And Guidry voluntarily turns himself in to serve out the remainder of his prison sentence because Pruitt (the town that’s currently on fire and flattened) is his entire life and home and between another six months in jail vs never seeing it again? Easy decision.

Plus, he’s also sweet on Jonas and she seems to be into him too. “I’m a firm believer in rehabilitation.” So, yeah, that’s disciplinary action waiting to happen.

#50 more days of comics!#Dark Horse Presents #the Predator #internalized feelings of worthlessness the story #and giving an alien the electric chair #what a grab bag of whimsy

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carinaxerin-blog · 7 years ago

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Interview with a Literary Candle Maker!

Erin interviewed our friend Rita, a candle maker in Portland, OR. Her candle company is called Scents & Scentsability Candles and you can find them at scentsandscentsabilitycandles on instagram or at their etsy site:

https://www.etsy.com/shop/scentsNscentsability?ref=seller-platform-mcnav

Enjoy the interview!

Erin: What are three words or short phrases that describe you? Rita: That is a hard question. I would have to say, passionate, introverted, and socially awkward.

E: What kind of drinks do you like? Coffee/tea/other…? R: My favorite drink is tea, mostly Chai tea but I do love green and fruity teas too.

E: Tell us a little bit about yourself. You have really wonderful and diverse passions like zoology, books, and candle making. What was your upbringing like and how did these passions first come about? R: My home life growing up was very sheltered, that is probably why I'm an introvert, and I didn't really have anyone to push me to do things outside of my comfort zone so I was 2 grades behind in reading. My mother was an avid reader, but at that time she was trying to support 3 kids while going to school. Because of my struggle in reading I actually hated books for most of Elementary. It wasn't until my grandmother took it upon herself to take time after I got out of class everyday to help work with me. When I finally got comfortable reading, I had no idea where to start so I stuck with what I knew, goosebumps. I loved that series but after a year of only reading that I wanted more from the books I read. That is when my sisters and I were sent the first three books of Harry Potter. That series opened up a new world of fantasy and I immediately fell in love with reading.

My passion for animals stems from my mother. We always had at least 4 cats growing up, and then we got a dog and some fish. For the longest time I wanted to be an Egyptologist, but didn't want to have to go to college for 8 years. So I decided to do something with my other passion, animals. I had no idea what I wanted to do with that until I took a trip to the Woodland Park Zoo in Seattle with my family and fell in love with exotic animals. After that I knew I wanted to become a zookeeper.

E: What was your inspiration to start your business? R: During college I didn't have time to read a lot of books for fun and after a while I kind of forgot about that side of my life. When I graduated from Oregon State, I worked and interned at the Oregon Zoo for a time but realized that I would have to uproot my whole life, and my husbands, in order to get a Zookeeping job. One of the Keepers I worked with talked about her experience working at Barnes & Noble and I knew that if I couldn't work with animals, I wanted to work with books instead. After working at Barnes & Noble for two years, a couple of my coworkers and I decided we wanted to try an open up a bookstore of our own. I knew it would take a long time to come up with the money for it, so I decided to open a candle shop on Etsy that themed candles after literary works and authors to help raise the money to open our own bookstore someday. I am currently working with two lovely ladies who help me run the candle company!

E: What’s your favorite part of candle making? Least favorite? R: My favorite part of candle making is thinking of new candles and the scents that go with them! It is a lot of fun trying to pair up scents to make it true to the theme of the candle.

My least favorite part is the time consuming process of actually making the candles. I use coconut wax because of its higher quality and sustainable farming and extraction process vs other waxes, but it is not as easy to work with so the process takes longer. Soy wax is water soluble and heats up faster that coconut wax, so the time it takes to melt the wax to make the candles is longer and the clean-up is more difficult.

E: What’s a collection you haven’t yet done that you’re dying to do? R: I really want to do candles based off villains like Moriarty, the Evil Queen, Professor Umbridge, etc. I think coming up with those scents will be so much fun!

E: Where is your work space? R: My workspace is in my spare bedroom/library. I live in a 2 bedroom apartment that is fairly small. In order to make candles, you need an area that can keep a steady temp and not have drafts to help prevent wet spots from showing up on your candles. I have a hot plate and two tables that I use for making and pouring the candles.

E: Where do you have the most creative ideas? R: I typically have the most creative ideas either at work when I talk to my coworkers about books or what they want in candles, or with the two women that help me run the company. Out of the three of us, Krissie (who is the Hermione of the bunch) is brilliant at coming up with creative names or scents.

E: What do you do when you have an idea but it’s not something that you have time for right now? R: This happens a lot. I keep a candle making notebook where I write everything down so I can go back to it. We actually have the rest of the year planned out with each month's candle theme and I have an ever growing list of ones I eventually want to get too [laughs].

E: We love to talk about our “weekly obsession,” aka whatever we are thinking about that week such as (but not limited to) a book, movie, song, etc. What’s your weekly obsession? R: Right now, my weekly obsession is the TV show Reign. I am currently on the 4th season and I am loving the feminist turn the show has taken with so many female monarchs!

E: What book are you reading right now? R: Right now, I am currently reading the Advance Readers Copy of Wicked King by Holly Black, and listening to the audio book of The Astonishing Color of After by Emily X. R. Pan. I am loving both of them so much!

#coffee n shit podcast #coffee podcast #coffee #blog #interview #candle maker #candle making #literary candles #candle #yankee candle #business #boss babe #boss #creator #creativity

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auburnfamilynews · 4 years ago

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Jeff Blake-USA TODAY Sports

Remember how we said Auburn got a passing grade because of a technicality last week? Well, they pissed off the teacher, and now that “C’s get degrees!” mentality has us flunking the course just before midterms. Let’s review:

QUARTERBACK - F-

Here’s three stat lines, and I want you to tell me who the quarterbacks are:

Player A: 28/45, 322 yards, 7.2 YPA, 2 TD, 2 INT, 0 uncatchable passes, 4 carries, 0 yards, 2 sacks, 1 fumble

Player B: 11/27, 145 yards, 5.4 YPA, 1 TD, 3 INT, 11 uncatchable passes, 10 rushes, 17 yards, 2 sacks

Player C: 24/47, 272 yards, 5.8 YPA 1 TD, 3 INT, 11 uncatchable passes, 15 rushes, 69 yards, 3 sacks

As I’m sure the stat line looks familiar, Player C is obviously Bo Nix against South Carolina. Player B is, yet again, Bo Nix, this time against Florida last year in the Swamp. Lastly, Player A, with almost certainly the “best” performance of the three, is Jarrett Stidham in the 2018 Tennessee game.

While Stidham does get the benefit of playing at home, I would argue it was the worst home field advantage Auburn has put forth in an SEC game in the Malzahn era. I don’t have a real point in giving you these stats lines, other than that Bo’s performance in this game is in line with the worst of the last few years at Auburn.

The cherry on top? Having the whole world see Bo getting into it with his #1 receiver and offensive coordinator on the sidelines. That’s an F every time. Maybe it would be a little understandable if the rest of the offense wasn’t clicking, so let’s check in on the ground game...

RUNNING BACKS - A+

@ZBlackerby

WIDE RECEIVERS/TIGHT ENDS - C-

Whether you’re on Team Seth or Team Bo, I think everyone can acknowledge that this wasn’t the brightest three hours for the wide receiver corp. Although the passes from Bo weren’t the best to work with, this group still had way too many drops, including one that led to an interception. Eli Stove and Anthony Schwartz had decent games, combining for 13 catches, 119 yards, seven first downs, and a touchdown. Even the non-big 3 (Williams, Stove, Schwartz) got in on the action, with Ze’Vian Capers, DJ Williams, Luke Deal, and Shedrick Jackson combined for seven catches on 11 targets and 79 yards.

The real sticking point, though, is Seth Williams. Four catches for 74 yards isn’t the worst stat line, but when you realize that came with 13 targets (with two going for interceptions), it’s not quite as rosy. Whatever the issue is between him and Bo needs to be worked out quickly, because an offense can shut down in a hurry if two of its most important players can’t get along.

OFFENSIVE LINE - B

Nobody is saying they played a perfect game, but as much as we’ve dogged them the last three years, they were not the problem Saturday. Giving up the sack on the hail mary before the half hurt, but they also were an instrumental part of getting the ground game going. The ground game totaled 6.3 yards per called rush, and the offensive line provided plenty of room for the running backs. On average, rushers gained 3.4 yards before contact, up from the season average of 2.08. For comparison’s sake, Georgia is averaging 1.96 YBC, and Alabama is averaging 2.28 YBC.

In pass blocking, the line did allow 3 sacks (I’m not sure if that includes Bo’s grounding or not), but on fifty-seven drop backs, that’s not the worst rate. Going forward, I’d like to stick this offense in a position to succeed, and that’s pretty clearly by running the ball.

DEFENSIVE LINE - C+

While it didn’t seem like the defensive line made a ton of big plays in this one, they didn’t necessarily play poorly. The Gamecock ground game was held below their season average in success rate (37% vs 43%), and the Auburn front held rushers to a lower average yards before first contact than their season rate (2.07 vs 2.30).

Where they struggled, though, was in the same place they’ve struggled since Jeff Holland left - the pass rush generated pressure on just three of 24 passes (12.5%), down from South Carolina’s season average allowed of 24%. Getting any sort of pass rush from the defensive line would do wonders for the rest of the defense, but for now it’s relatively non-existant.

Colby Wooden led the unit with six tackles and two TFL, and generally looked like the best player on the defensive line in this one. The redshirt freshman is a turning in a splendid season so far.

Jeff Blake-USA TODAY Sports

LINEBACKERS - B-

This grade is on a curve, given the depth issues this group is dealing with. Zion Puckett even had to moonlight a few plays. Pappoe and McClain did everything they could. McClain had a sack on a perfect green dog blitz early in the game that led to a South Carolina punt. Pappoe got his first career interception by making a diving grab of a pass broken up by Christian Tutt. Those two led the team in tackles (McClain 13/9 and Pappoe 10/5).However, it wasn’t perfect. Cam Riley got his first start, but he didn’t register a stat. On South Carolina’s only full touchdown drive, no one covered themselves in glory, and the biggest play of that drive included Pappoe washing himself into the wrong gap on a critical 3rd down play. I know the offense didn’t help them, but you would like to see this group make a play or two more to help win the game.

DEFENSIVE BACKS - C+

The South Carolina passing game never really got going, but credit the South Carolina offensive staff (blech) for not asking their quarterback to do too much. The Gamecocks only called 25 pass plays out of 66 total snaps, instead forcing the issue on the ground when Auburn continuously gave them a short field. While Auburn limited the damage through the air to just 144 yards and a touchdown, it still felt like there were a few coverage breakdowns (and a phantom PI call on Roger McCreary) that were killer.

Again, the safeties were solid in this one, although not tasked with a ton of work. Pappoe and McClain were all over the field with 23 tackles, limiting the opportunities for Sherwood and Monday to get in on the action. That’s a good thing for the defense in general, but it doesn’t help the DB’s get a better grade.

SPECIAL TEAMS - B

Anders was a perfect 3/3 on his FGs, though none was longer than 38 yards. Four of his kickoffs were touchbacks, and another was fair caught at the 1. But the one that wasn’t a touchback was returned 34 yards. Tank Bigsby’s only chance at a kickoff return was just 23 yards, but it came on a kickoff that only reached the 8, so that is a positive.

What drops the letter grade to a B is an absolutely dreadful job on punt returns by Christian Tutt. Kai Kroeger punted 5 times for South Carolina. One of them was a touchback. The rest were all downed by the Gamecocks, including 3 inside the 20. Tutt’s inability to actually field the ball on punts is bordering on ridiculous. It is putting a mediocre offense in an even bigger hole by losing 10-15 yards of field position. If he is being coached to do this, or if his job is not in jeopardy, it’s a further indictment of this coaching staff.

COACHING - F

I haven’t had the time/heart/desire to re-watch this game for a full critique, but coaching must be given an F this week. The Bo/Seth drama needs to be resolved. Coaches need to get a grip on this before anything happens. You could make the case the clock management just before halftime cost Auburn the game. A field goal there gives Auburn a 5-point halftime margin (6-point margin if Auburn kicks the PAT like a normal person, but whatever). This extra 3 points would have proved extremely valuable in the 3rd/4th quarters. The 2-point conversion – look, I get it. You probably got a good look. I love the aggressiveness of it. People only hated it because it didn’t work. An extra 2 points here would have been extremely significant later in the game. Bo is typically a very conservative quarterback. The only time he takes risks are when he throws 50/50 balls to Seth. Nobody on that staff knows Bo better than Chad and Gus. They must recognize when he’s rattled, when he’s forcing it. Horn was too dadgum good. Plenty of people have/will focus on letting Bo win/lose the game, instead of putting the ball in your hottest hand (Tank), so I won’t dwell on that.

FANS - N/A

from College and Magnolia - All Posts https://www.collegeandmagnolia.com/2020/10/21/21524865/position-grades-15-auburn-22-south-carolina-30

#IFTTT #Blogger #auburn #auburn fast #wareagle #AuburnFamilyNews #war eagle #sec #football news #aubu

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tooalphaforbetacells · 7 years ago

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Diabetes Challenge 2k17 Days 23-27

23. Protips

Honestly if someone is making diabeetus jokes, call them out, by either 1) telling them out right it’s not funny 2) asking them to explain why it’s funny (this is good for any offensive jokes) 3) explaining to them what it really means to be diabetic (don’t be afraid to scare them)

Be open to being in the community, you’ll find what works for you. (My experience explained later)

24. Diabetes at school

So I went to a very small school that had no nurse, and where my mom was my teacher K-8th grade so I feel my experience is very unique. When I was little,until about 3rd/4th grade, I would go to my mom at recess and get insulin, I then started to do my own injections, and there would be a little cheat sheet in my lunch box and my teacher would help me with any high correction I needed. In 8th grade I got a pump, and I got up in front of my class to explain why I was missing a class trip, I was using that time to get pump training, and I showed them what it was via the one I was borrowing for a trial, they asked questions and that was the end of it. Later that same year a classmate of mine’s sister was diagnosed, and we all made cards for her (again very small school), my teacher came to me about it, asking if I thought that would be something that might make her feel better, I said probably and I addressed the class about get better vs. feel better and they trusted me, and it felt good.In high school it hasn’t been too bad, I have accepted that it is just another fact about me like that I have blue eyes. The two things people are most often surprised by when they start to get to know me is that I am not a natural red head and that I am diabetic, so it has become very much a part of me. (That kind of went on a tangent, oh well)

25. Talk about burnout

I am still recovering from my burn out that peaked in May of 2012 when I had an a1c of 11.9, I got burnout at a very stressful time in my life (family stuff that eventually lead to me being depressed) that lined up with puberty, it was the perfect storm. I went back and looked at my past a1cs, the furthest back, I found is from February of 2010, when it was 8.8, it has been at least 1 point higher than that for almost 8 years, when I was at my endo last week I got my a1c and I am right back there, with a urgency to work at it more. For the past 7 years, almost every one of my appointments has ended with me in tears because I knew I wasn’t keeping good control and I wanted to fix it but there was something blocking me from doing it right. Burnout happens, don’t ever bully yourself over it, but find someone to help you, parent/ guardian/ friend etc, to remind you to check and correct, if you don’t have anyone and you are struggling, I will be that person for you <3 (I am a token mom friend™️,okay.)

26. Do you know other diabetics/ general diabetes support systems

So I know a couple irl, but I don’t talk to them really. I never liked the idea of camp etc. Then I found the Tumblr community and I lurked, only reblogging a few things that were just somewhat informational etc. I found one chat, and did not really connect with that particular group of people, maybe because it was pretty established and I am hecka shy and I didn’t feel comfortable talking to them. Then I found the group I am currently in, which is my biggest support system outside of my mom and brother. So a huge shout out to my amazing diabuddies in the skype/ snapchat group, I hope this is not too weird to say, but I love you guys and you are all amazing (I would tag you all but I don’t remember all your tumblrs off the top of my head). When I joined I felt comfortable, and I eventually actually said stuff, I found people that had the same interests as me and we could talk about something other than what brought us together. They have helped me so much for a reason that I don’t really know. They inspired me to make this side blog, where I can make my own posts and reblog relatable stuff without anxiety, and go on the JDRF walk last month, becauese of them, I have found a new positivity about diabetes and I am so happy I found them.

27. Hope for the future of the diabetes community.

I hope that everyone to find the support system they need, whether it is irl, a group chat or something else.

#actually diabetic #type 1 diabetes #type 1 diabetic #t1diabetic #diabetes challenge 2k17 #T1D #t1dlookslikeme #t1diabetes #blue november

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kiss-my-freckle · 7 years ago

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Keen vs. Bond

Liz’s feelings about Tom being a spy.

This is sure to be a bit lengthy, as I’ll be weaving in and out of both deleted and on-screen scenes, and including random & not-so random images as I go.

Because body language is important.

Liz speaks to us in the pilot about her plans to rewrite the past by having kids of her own. Something I believe she was having second thoughts about before the helicopter even flew over her front steps. Given Red didn't know Owen Mallory's story, I'd say Liz came to the decision not to adopt on her own. Because kids shouldn't be used to rewrite the past just as much as they shouldn't be used to smile for a couple's Christmas card.

"I’m board certified in forensic psychology, and yet I operate under the delusion that I can rewrite my past by having kids of my own."

I wouldn't so much consider Liz's rewriting her past through Agnes as much as she's trying to give her a life different than her own. With little to no memory of her own past, Liz takes video footage of Agnes in their safehouse, of Baz waving a big smiling hello. A bit of memory that her daughter will one day be able to see for herself, a memory that won't be hidden in her subconscious because it was blocked.

"If I go through with this, you will be my only link to my past. I lost Sam. I lost my mother. And I’ll lose Kirk. And whatever you want to call him, he was married to my mother. He raised me as a child. And he’s willing to do what you are not- tell me about who I am."

Just as much, Liz plans to give her daughter what she didn't have. Growing up as an adopted child, not knowing the truth of her parents. She wants to give Agnes a family, moreso- two parents who love one another. So Liz pushes for a shotgun wedding, hoping to be married before Agnes is born. Though she wants it done fast, she wants it done right, and in her mind- this is right.

"I am attempting to build a life with the father of my child. A normal life with two parents who love one another. With everything you know about me, can’t you see that? Can’t you see how important that is to me? To my child?"

Liz also wants a normal life for her and Agnes, something spoken of often in this show, but more notably in The Djinn. Because having your mother killing a spy in your own kitchen while you're asleep upstairs isn't what anyone would consider normal.

"It’s been the same thing for as long as I can remember. I’m walking in a park with my husband. In between us is our little girl. I’m holding her hand in mine... and I never let go."

I'm just gonna jump ahead to season three, since that's where it really starts for this particular post. Even better, let's start with the fact that Liz fell in love with Tom Keen, a man that never even existed, as Red stated in The Pavlovich Brothers and Liz stated in Lord Baltimore.

Liz: He’s gone. My husband is gone. Red: Your husband never existed.

Attorney: The judge signed it. May be of little solace, but he granted your application for the annulment. As far as the District of Columbia is concerned, you were never married to Thomas Keen. It’s none of my business, but I noticed you’re keeping his name. Liz: My husband - was an impostor, a fake. Keen was never his name.

Liz never fell in love with Tom Bond, and Tom knows this. Looking at his proposal in Mr. Gregory Devry, and his choice to look for a teaching job in The Vehm was a huge indicator. Tom was trying to become the man that Liz did fall in love with.

Tom: I got to check out the campus in uh, Boston, so I’ll clean this up before I go. Liz: Okay. A teacher? Tom: There was a lot about our old life that I really liked, including you.

Before their wedding, he spoke of giving up the spy life, adding to this goal of his, to become the man that she fell in love with.

"Look, what I want you to know, is that it happened because I made it clear that I’m out. I’m done with those people and that life."

Always claiming to want that normal life, which Tom started speaking of back in Leonard Caul's episode. Again, adding to his goal of becoming the man Liz fell in love with, wanting that normal life just as Liz wants.

Liz: I thought you’d be gone. Tom: That was the plan. Then I thought maybe if I stayed, I’d have a shot at a normal life.

Liz never did fall in love with Tom Bond, but I believe she expected Tom to change, to give up that life because he fed her his desire to do that throughout the show. And so... I feel she was looking forward to actually having Tom Keen in her life without that other part of him- the Tom Bond who tore her open.

His little spiel in Natalie Luca-

Liz: I know this family is the most important thing to you. But it’s not gonna work if you can’t be who you are. I guess... I’m just scared. Tom: Of what? Liz: I’m not gonna love that person. Tom: Do you love me? Liz: Yes. Tom: Then you love that person. Because that’s who I am.

So after having sold her the fantasy that she’d be in a relationship with Tom Keen without the Tom Bond- as he claimed he’d give up “that life” many times, he's basically telling her that if she loves him, then she loves Tom Bond because that's who he is. Tom has gotta be kidding with this bullshit. It could pertain to any bit of who a person is, whether they be a spy or a serial killer, or a racist for that matter. If one claims it's a part of who they are and you're supposed to love that side of them because you love them... that's ignorant thinking. This was a closet-spy she didn’t fall in love with, who sold her the idea that he’d change but never did, and is now telling her that she loves the spy he is if she loves him.

Nonsense.

Liz fell in love with a 4th grade teacher, which Tom is not.

“They made me believe you were a monster.”

“Tom teaches 4th grade. He’s overworked and underpaid and still wakes up every morning with a smile on his face. You know why? Because he knows nothing of the terrible world you and I live in. End of story.”

"The Neo-Nazi? ‘Cause that doesn’t really do it for me."

"I prefer the bookish teacher."

"When was this? When you were a skinhead? One of Berlin’s thugs? ‘Cause I’m guessing it wasn’t an elementary-school teacher."

I'm cracking up laughing at how people have interpreted the deleted scenes, so I'm gonna get to them now as I move along. I'll be adding that deleted scene I put to gif from season three while I'm at it. And it's not just the deleted scenes, but the "warnings" Red gave Liz, both in season three and season four. Even to some of the dialogue out of Liz's own mouth. Because every bit of it weaves through everything I've mentioned above. Specific to Red's warnings in Drexel, before the wedding in Mr. Solomon, as well as what he said in Natalie Luca. As I've said many times, Red is not and will not be wrong about Tom. When they hand you this much crap in deleted scenes as they do on-screen scenes, you gotta know what's coming.

From Drexel-

Liz: Don’t you get it? The only reason Tom did what he did is because he had to do something desperate to get away from this. Red: You made yourself clear this morning, Elizabeth. You can blame me if you like. Liz: Damn right, I blame you. If he dies... Red: If he dies, it’s because he put himself in exactly the wrong place at exactly the wrong time. He did this, not me. And that robbery the police want to ask him about- diamonds. He was part of a team that stole tens of millions of dollars’ worth of diamonds. A team I hear included his ex-girlfriend Gina Zanetakos. He’s reckless, dangerous. He’s not worthy of being your husband, and he sure as hell is not worthy of raising that child.

Here, Liz tried to blame Red for Tom's situation. If he dies, it's Red's fault for Tom attempting to get away from him. Similar to her blaming Red in Natalie Luca. Because apparently, everything is Red's fault. So, to that deleted scene in season three-

"But, you're an adult, so make your own choices."

From Mr. Solomon-

Red: No, Lizzy. I’m here to ask you, to implore you, please, don’t do this. I’m telling you, no matter what you believe, Tom is not the man you think he is. Liz: You’re wrong. You don’t know him. Red: He’s a criminal. Liz: No. He’s changed. Red: Men like Tom don’t change. You’re attempting to build a life with a man who is fundamentally dishonest.

And I'm cracking up laughing at this one. So apparently, Tom is no longer a criminal- even though he just committed a major diamond heist a couple episodes prior, and had the cops at his hospital bed, hoping to put him behind bars after his release.

The Forecaster-

"This is exactly where they belong."

Coming from the same woman who said, "They’re not just passports. You put them in a box under the floor in our home. They represent everything I’m trying to forget."

"David… Lucas, and… Kaya. I used to be scared of those guys. Not anymore."

Coming from the same woman who had a nightmare about her own husband choking her to death in The Courier.

From Natalie Luca-

Liz: You know, Tom and I were just starting to find some semblance of normalcy. And you had to just sweep in, drag him back down your rabbit hole. There must be dozens of contract operatives just like him. Why him? Red: Tom is very good at what he does. It defines him. He can no sooner choose to stop than a great white shark can choose to stop swimming and eating. He will do what he does.

Again, Liz blaming Red. But as I've said, he's right about Tom. The man is a spy, and I don't need to put the many scenes in here that feed it, since he admits it to Liz himself- how much he needs to be a spy. What's more interesting, is Liz's dialogue here, so I'll be coming back to this bit.

Liz: How’d it go? Tom: Honestly, it was great. I was thinking about what you said, about why I needed that. Truth is, I still don’t know. But what I do know, is that this family’s the most important thing in my life. I don’t wanna lose it. Liz: We just arrested a woman who would’ve done anything to stay with the person she loved, but she lost him anyway. Tom: I’m not going anywhere. Liz: That’s not what I meant. From the beginning, we’ve been fighting secrets and agendas and psychotic homicidal killers coming between us. And for the first time, we’re together, and we’ve got no one to fight. But it still feels- Tom: Like we’re coming apart? Liz: I know this family is the most important thing to you. But it’s not gonna work if you can’t be who you are.

Yeah, it's coming apart because Liz never fell in love with Tom Bond.

Deleted scene from season three-

Tom: I can do this! Red: Do what? Complete this mission and come back alive? Maybe you can, maybe you can't. Or do you mean- Complete this mission alive, come back and raise your daughter as if you're a real parent? Her only parent. Because that, I know you can't do.

My interpretation of this scene is simple. Red is flat out insulting Tom, telling him he's not a real parent, that he's no Sam Milhoan. He can't complete this mission alive, come back and raise his daughter as if he's a real parent because... well... the spy life defines him. Once he finishes one job, he goes out looking for another. It's what he does.

“I've always found it enormously empowering, the knowledge that whatever path I chose, it didn't really matter where it led, and it didn't really matter if I ever came back. You don't have that power. You have a child. But, you're an adult, so make your own choices. Just know, that if you're gone, I'll be watching your daughter.”

My interpretation for this one. Red speaks of it not mattering in his case because his daughter was being raised by Sam Milhoan. He didn't have to worry about Liz because he trusted the man raising her. But for Tom, it's different. Red isn't ignorant to his feelings of him, so he tells him that if he's gone, he'll be watching Agnes.

Deleted scene from season four-

Tom: So, you work with him, but I can't? Liz: It isn't the same, and you know it. Tom: No, I don't know that. Liz: The work I do with Reddington is... legal. It's part of my job at the FBI. What he's asking you to do is against the law. Tom: Liz, he's asking me to find a criminal, alright? He asks you to find criminals all the time. Liz: If you go through with this, you'll go to jail. Is that a risk you're willing to take? Tom: Liz, I love our daughter. And I love you. But this is what I do. And I'm good at it, and I love that too. Besides, you're the only adult I've spoken to in the past two weeks.... besides the Diaper Genie, and he's kind of stiff. Liz: It isn't funny. Tom: I can sing "Wheels on the Bus" backwards. Okay? The driver goes "Move on back." The people go up and down. The babies go "Wah, wah, wah." And it's just... it's not good for anybody's mental health. Liz, I need to do this. And I'm asking you to respect that.

Here, Tom speaks as if he needs the spy life in order to have a real life, in order to spend time with adults other than the Diaper Genie. As if normal grown adults don't hang out with other normal grown adults. Apparently, one has to be out committing criminal acts or playing spy in order to have conversations with other grown adults. And I'm laughing at this idea people have that the only issue Liz has with Tom being a spy, is in the legalities of it. If it were that simple, then she could simply talk to Cooper about using him as a CI like Red is, but she doesn't because that's only part of it. But I'll get back to the legalities of this once I hit the next scene. And Tom, lmao... he's telling a clinical psychologist what's bad for one's mental health, as if she doesn't know about this herself. But what a fun time Tom is having trying to manipulate Liz into agreeing and accepting his spy life.

Deleted scene from season four-

Tom: The truth is... it felt good. I felt... useful again. Liz: You don't think you're useful? To our family? To our daughter? Tom: I thought we were gonna get away. From Reddington, from all of this, and we.... we didn't. And that's fine, but... now we're living in this world where there's room for Mr. Mom, but not for me. Liz: That's not fair. Tom: Maybe not, but it's how I feel.

This scene bothers me. Truth is, if being a spy is part of who he is, then it wouldn't matter if Red is in their lives or not. Had they made it in Cuba without issue, he'd be a spy in Cuba right now. Sure, Tom is pissed that they never got away from Red, but he's fine with it now because it gives him an excuse. So yeah.. he's pushing this... "you work with him, so I should be able to work with him" crap. Tom can't stand being near the life without being in it. It's like a drug addict trying to go clean while being surrounded by drug addicts who aren't. Oh, look... he’s walking away from her as he did back in season one, when she changed her mind about the adoption. Tom’s response when he doesn’t get the response he wants.

And even more to this scene, since it adds to the legalities of the previous one.

"Against the law" means it's a criminal act. "Going to jail" happens when one commits a criminal act. This is what Tom wants to do for Red, what he's begging Liz to respect. Here, Tom is committing a criminal act. Again, pointing to the truth Red gave Liz before the wedding, since viewers are a lot like Liz- they have a hard time accepting truth.

Red: He’s a criminal. Liz: No. He’s changed. Red: Men like Tom don’t change. You’re attempting to build a life with a man who is fundamentally dishonest.

Red proving himself right about Tom over and over and over in deleted scene and on-screen.

Back to Liz’s Djinn fantasy-

In season three, we had Tom pulling a diamond heist that almost got him killed, and would've put him in prison had it not been for Red.

Again, Red’s dialogue from the deleted scene-

Again, Liz's dialogue from the deleted scene-

"What he's asking you to do is against the law." "If you go through with this, you'll go to jail. Is that a risk you're willing to take?"

Tom felt the risk worth taking, as he went on his mission for Red in Natalie Luca. Tom got arrested for assaulting a drug dealer in the season four deleted scene.

Again, Liz’s own dialogue in Natalie Luca-

Liz: You know, Tom and I were just starting to find some semblance of normalcy. And you had to just sweep in, drag him back down your rabbit hole.

....where she’s basically saying it herself... that the spy life isn’t normal.

Liz is at that point where she's realizing the truth of her relationship with Tom, of this "normal life" she believed she was going to have with him. In order to give Agnes two parents that love one another, she has to accept Tom being a spy. But to accept Tom being a spy, she has to accept the fact that she won't have her Djinn fantasy. As I've said before, she's sacrificing her Djinn fantasy because she can't have both. She can't have Tom Bond and that normal life. Not that having Tom Bond is going to give her that normal life anyway. She wants Agnes to grow up with two parents that love one another, and if she were to accept Tom's spy life, she'd be accepting the fact that Agnes' father could end up dead or in prison. So she wouldn’t just be sacrificing her own Djinn fantasy, she’d also be sacrificing the normal life she wanted for Agnes to grow up in... far different than her own.

That’s truth.

#Anti-Tom Keen #Anti-Keen2

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jess-the-vampire · 7 years ago

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Tom Vs The Forces Of Evil (Au), Chapter 12

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Tom could feel himself significantly get worse as the days grew closer to Friday, and it was becoming harder for him to hide it from Marco. He had to keep excusing himself into the bathroom or to go practice spells so he could calm himself down before he hurt someone. Marco was no stranger to the boy's temper so occasionally he could tell something was up and would step in to help and ask what was the matter. Tom as per usual blamed most of it from the stress of his dad, or getting another bad grade in school, or bullies picking on him. Marco didn't ask further questions and would try and relax him. It was eating Tom on the inside how much he was keeping from Marco. His newfound crush, how he tortured that monster, the threats against him, anything on the bond in general, he couldn't keep this from Marco forever. The crush thing could come and go, but the rest were never going away, he couldn't just expect his dad to forget about Marco, and the bond and wretched torturing were never going to leave his mind no matter what. It was only a matter of time before all these secrets bit him. But there were so many risks to it, especially if his dad caught wind of him telling Marco any of this. Which is why Star's return was so thankful, having any ear on his dad made him feel a lot better these days.

He was sitting on the floor in front of his mirror, talking to his ex, something he never really thought would happen again after the ball. Star wasn't a great listener, far from it, she could barely stand still most of the time, and those pointy ears were focused elsewhere sometimes. But she was all he had as far as getting much from Mewni, Ponyhead was too much of a blabbermouth to talk to about anything serious. At least Star could keep a secret. The girl's ears pricked up as Tom spoke about...It, he blasted the floor with a spell, not hiding how sad he was in front of her. "You....like Marco?" "Yeah...." Tom muttered another spell under his breath, and tiny animals erupted from his wand. "But he doesn't..?" "Yeah...." "Tom, i'm sorry...." "It's not your fault Star, just my luck I suppose...I mean, Marco probably wouldn't date me anyway, it's fine..." "Tom....i'm sure that's not true...", Star argued," Marco really likes you, i'm sure he'd date you..." "Well if Marco really wanted to date me then why didn't he?", Tom snapped at her, fighting back tears, "It's not like i-I'm...seeing anyone else anyway?! Star, he doesn't like me like that ok?! He's had this crush for years!! Why did I think i could just walk up to him and ask him out when I knew he liked someone else?!" Tom zapped another part of the floor, leaving a hole in his floor, he quickly fixed it up before anyone noticed and looked back up at a more concerned Star. "Tom..." "I just can't like someone, no...the world just has to tell me how unlovable I am every time.....", Tom complained, more to himself then the princess before him. "Geez, how does my dad expect me to even have a heir if no body even wants to date me?" "Tom...Hey, it's- " "The only two people in the world I like enough to date, and i can never be with either.....and i just...i'm stupid....", Tom pulled his legs towards him and buried his face in them , "I'm so stupid.....I just....I wish i didn't like Marco..." "Tom, you know that's not true...", Star said, "It's not bad for you to like him, you don't have to be ashamed of it..." "Then why am I being punished for it?", Tom mumbled, "I-I just..." "Crushes don't always work out..", Star said, sitting down herself, "But...you’re stronger, for still being Marco's friend..." Tom looked up and wiped his eyes. "I mean, you still want him to be happy with whoever he likes, you still want to be his best friend.....that's really strong of you.." Tom sniffled, "Yeah..." "You're a good friend Tom...." Tom didn't reply, he wiped his nose onto his knee and tried to calm himself down. Star sighed, she was going to regret this. "Tom, Marco and I have been talking.....he came to me....to ask about your dad....", She said, making the boy look up, but before he could get angry she held out a hand. "He was concerned, he wanted to help you, he wants you to be safe....he wants....you to live with him instead.." Tom's sudden look of anger turned into one of shock and affection, he blushed, and ran his fingers through his pink hair. "He....he's trying to take me away from my dad?" "My Mom's looking into it....he just.....Marco wants what's best for you too Tom...", she bit her lip, flashing her pointed teeth, "Tom, no matter what you think, you're Marco's entire world....he puts you first just as much as you put him...Jackie is never going to replace you.." "He's allowed to have other friends to care about it's just...", Tom looked off to his side at the rabbit cage, and Star realized he was indicating he didn't have many other friends to hang out with. She smiled, "Well, that's just it then!!! You, me, and some other people should hang out together!!! Having more friends then Marco outta help you get over it!!" "Yeah...maybe..", Tom said, done crying, "Maybe I just...need some time away...with other people.." "Yeah, you can come over to the Underworld!!! you got anyone you could call?" Tom, picturing a blabbering ponyhead and a beanie-headed girl, "I guess there is some people i could invite..?" "Awesommmmme!!", Star giggled, "Let's do it.....This Friday!!! Sound good?" Tom looked to his bedroom door, knowing Marco was talking to Jackie in his own room down the hall, the girl he was asking out the very same Friday. Something was better then nothing. "Yeah....let's do it..." - Friday couldn't come soon enough for Tom honestly, the day he was regretting at the beginning if the week slowly made him much more excited. He'd get to hang out, spend time with other friends and away from the drama of his dad and Marco. He needed a new safe space. Marco wondered why Tom didn't want to go with them and Tom mumbled out that since he was asking Jackie out he didn't want to make it awkward, followed by Tom wishing him luck, Marco appreciated it ; But he was clearly very disappointed. He didn't tell Marco he was going anywhere when Marco went out to meet Jackie, there was no point in making a big deal about it anyway, they shared a hug before Marco left and Tom closed the door behind him before cutting open a portal to the underworld. Janna was already there, and so was ponyhead, both talking happily with Star. Tom already felt like a 4th wheel. He was the only boy here and only now did he realize that. They all turned to him when he entered, Star grabbed his arms and yanked him over to him. "I found your friends!! They're suuuuuuupppperrr cool!!!", Star bounced up and down in place, "Janna over here wants to show me around earth someday!! And Ponyhead is supppper fun!!!! But now that you're here, we can do some fun stuff!!" "B-flyy!", Ponyhead looked Tom up and down, "You looked trashed, you do something crazy?" "What? No...I-I'm fine...", Tom mumbled, too sad to even demand to be called Tom. Janna and Star exchanged knowing looks. "Where's earth turd? You guys stop being besties...?" "I don't wanna talk about it lilacia-" "Did earth turd hurt you? I told you he was bad new-" "Let's do makeovers!!", Star interrupted, "C'mon Tom!! I'll do your eyeliner and Janna can do your nails!!!" Tom was about to protest when he realized that they were trying to distract ponyhead. "What am I supposed to do?",Ponyhead protested. "You can go pick out some music!!!" Star suggested, and she went looking around for the demon's radio. Tom didn't protest when the girls starting doing his make-up, at least they weren't doing anything malicious to him as he was trying to heal from everything happening to him. Knowing them they'd probably do who knows how much damage to Echo Creek together. He couldn't help but think of Marco though, Marco loved to help with Tom's makeup. Tom liked to ramble on sometimes and Marco would listen while he helped him, careful not to hurt his friend. Tom liked Marco's little nods and hums as he worked, they were little things but Tom tended to always pay attention to the smallest things. He must have looked a bit sad because Star was giving him a concerned face, she finished up his eyeliner and produced a smile. Ponyhead had finally managed to put music on, which Tom easily recognized as a Love Sentence Song. Janna finished up Tom's nails and Star pulled Tom onto his legs, "C'mon, you wanna dance? It could be fun!!!". Star started to dance wildly and it didn't take long for Janna and Ponyhead to join her, He knew Star was trying her best, but everything just reminded him of Marco. Marco fit into his life so perfectly that it was going to be a challenge cheering him up. Still Tom attempted to try and dance a little bit, tapping his feet and swaying from side to side. It wasn't making him feel a lot better, but at least he was trying. Star must have noticed too, because she grabbed Tom's arms and tried to help him move but with no effort. She frowned before using fire from her boots to help her fly, Tom looked up at her and she attempted to lift him off the ground. He clung to her a bit and managed to laugh, but then Janna jumped on Star's back, adding to the pile. Janna was a bit too much weight for Star though, and the three of them fell on her bed, laughing. "Janna, I was trying to cheer Tom up!!", She said with a smile. "I know...", Janna snickered, "But that doesn't stop me from wanting a ride too.." Star looked over at Tom, and a grin spread upon her face. "You'reeee smilliinnnngggg~", She teased. Tom made a fake pout and covered his face, "Pft, I don't smile Star you know me, i'm dark and broody..." "You have a pink rabbit Tom..." "So?" Star punched Tom's shoulder, giggling, "Wierdo..." Tom lightly punched her back, "You're a weirdo..." Star got Janna off of her and fixed her dress, "C'mon guys, let's play a game now!! Ponyhead!? How about you pick the game?" Ponyhead, who'd been watching them this entire time, felt relief being able to be more in the center of attention. "Alright FINALLY, how bout...TRUTH OR DARE!!" Tom shuddered, playing truth games with ponyhead was never fun. Especially since the last thing he wanted right now was to talk about himself and his secrets. Star also noticed the problem and tried to step in, "Or we could do another game?! Like uh-?" "Girl, you said I could pick the game!! That means I pick the game, which is truth or dare, so we're playing..", She went to the center of the room and the rest started to follow, Tom could see Star end him an apologetic look his way. Tom shifted nervously, and could only hope ponyhead had no intention of asking him anything personal. They sat in the circle, and Tom was happy to see Star and Janna next to him on both sides, both being protective of him. Before ponyhead could do anything Star put her hand out, "I'll go first, er....Janna!! Truth or Dare?" "Dare!!!", Janna said immediately. "I dare you....to show us what's inside your boot!!!", Star shouted, pointing at said boot. Tom gave the demon a weird look, "Why do you think something is in her boot?" "A demon knows Tom...", Star said with a smile. Janna shrugged and took off her boot and shook it upside down. A bunch of stuff fell out to Tom's surprise, her cellphone, a pocket knife, a pack of gum, a recite for who knows what, Marco's house keys, and a roll of tape. Tom just looked at her in confusion, "How do you keep all that in your boot and not feel uncomfortable?!!" Janna shrugged, putting everything back in her boot and putting the boot on her foot again, "Eh, it's not as bad as what i keep in my socks...." Tom was about to question it when Star nudged him and spoke, "Ok Tom, it's your turn!!!" "Oh uh.....Star?!! Truth or Dare?!", he said on instinct. "TRUTH!!", She replied. "Uh...what did you learn in training? Like....what did you learn while you were away?" "Oh!! Well, my mom wanted to take me to train in a farther part of the underworld!! So i got to use axes and swords and I also finally got taught how to work with souls!!", She looked rather excited as she spoke, "My family has always taken care of souls on mewni and maybe soon i'll learn to raise the dead!!! It'll be so cool!!" "You don't know that spell already?", the prince looked at her in confusion, "I thought that was a bit more basic?" "Mom thinks i'll raise the dead for myself if i don't become more responsible, she's just being ridiculous....", Star huffed, "It's not like i was gonna summon the dead to get me food or anything, just for funsies....plus it's draining....i'd be too tired after awhile.." "Oh well, I hope you get to learn it eventually, i'm sure it'll come in handy...", Tom simply said, sometimes he wishes he could raise the dead, his ancestors were probably better company then his dad anyway. "Ok...my turn..", Janna announced, "Pony, Truth or Dare!" "DARE!" "I dare you, to...let me reach inside your neck!!!" Ponyhead groaned loudly, "Uhh...fInnneee, but don't touch my stuff, i don't wanna find my cell in your boot...." Janna grinned and reached next to her and into ponyhead's neck, she didn't seem too amused as Janna grinned. "How do you poop? I mean....you're hollow...." Janna said, "I mean, it's cool either way but..' Ponyhead immediately shook her off, "Ok turns over...MY TURN!" Tom's heart stopped. "STAR!! TRUTH OR DARE!!!?" Then it came back. "Uh.....DARE!!", she replied, flashing fangs. Tom let out a sigh of relief, at least Ponyhead's new liking to Star kept her distracted from him. "Show me one of your demon spells!!! Make something!!" "Uhh...", Star bit her lip and stood up, Tom could hear her chanting something under her breath and see her eyes start to glow. Tom leapt as some of the floor came apart underneath him and morphed into what looked like a small dog. Star's eyes stopped glowing and she regained her normal cuteness and picked up the small sculpture, "Demons have telekinetic abilities, but this spell kinda makes stuff come to life.....i haven't really mastered it yet...." Tom clapped, "I like it...." She smiled and sat down. "Thanks Tom...ponyhead, truth or dare!!" "Truth...", she replied simply. "How long have you and Tom been friends?", She asked sweetly, looking at both of them. "Oh? Me and b-fly have been friends since we were kids....we used to get in SO much trouble together, we used to sneak out and PARTY and his dad got Sooooooo mad!! Although he was kinda a downer most of the time, he used to sit by himself more then dance with the rest of us." Star looked over at Tom, who was looking away from everyone, he didn't seem to want to talk about this. "Well that seems cool!!", Janna piped in, also noticing Tom's mood change, "Tom? Uh....your turn!" She was clearly trying to change the subject immediately and Tom silently thanked her for that. "Oh uh..... Janna? Truth or Dare?", He asked, still thinking about those nights at the bounce lounge. Sometimes he forgot why he even used to sneak out, he never had too much fun at social events, but then again he wasn't very good at being social to begin with. "Truth..", she answered confidently, "And no, you can't date me..." Tom wasn't amused, "Why do you have Marco's keys in your boot?" "Why not?", She shrugged, Tom was about to interject when she cut him off. "Besides, these aren't Marco's actual keys, i got these copies done awhile back, cool right?", She said, now jingling said keys around, "Now if i had a skeleton key that would pretty sweet, but this is nice enough when I need to get some lunch from Marco's fridge.." "Do you even have your own house?", Tom asked. "Uh uh, one question at a time..", Janna said, "You'll have to wait your turn again to ask....now I'm going...". She looked Tom up and down, with a grin that made her scarier then even the demon in the room, "Tom....truth or Dare?" "Dare..", He blurted out, he would have to play at some point, the best he'd have to do would be to choose dare each and every time. "Let me hold your wand....", She held out her hand towards him, still grinning and Tom tightened the grip on his wand a little bit more. "My Wand's an important heirloom...I-I uh....that's probably not a good idea", Tom already felt upset enough about him throwing it, if anything else happened to it he was sure his dad would actually kill him in his sleep, and he might not blame him. "Dude, i just wanted to hold it....not use it..." "No....I said no...", He said a bit more angrily. Tom stood up, "I think i'm done...I don't wanna play anymore....". Star looked concerned, Janna was crossing her arms, and Ponyhead looked unhappy, "B-fly, if you're not gonna do the dare then- uh.....what happens when they don't do the dare?". She looked to Star and the demon thought for a moment, "Uh.....punishment?" Janna stood up, "Y'know, that could be funny, what'cha guys wanna do? We could dump ice water on him?" Tom backed up, "Guys, i just wanna stop ok? I'm not having fun anymore....can i just....can I leave?", He felt himself getting angry and he felt tears coming on again. Star bit her lip, "Yeah, let's just...move on to something else...." "Awww, c'mon, I wanted to do my turn!!!" Ponyhead whined. Tom grumbled, wand turning a noticeable green again, "Look, I don't feel like it ok? I came here to have fun and play games and feel better and I don't feel like being messed with, or having my stuff touched, or being picked on.....I just....I need to be alone...." Tom stormed out of Star's bedroom door, closing it behind him and back falling against the door, sniffling. He didn't know what was up with him but he couldn't hold himself together right now, he swore a bit under his breath and cried a bit when Star teleported in front of him, frown upon her normally smiley face. "Tom, I'm really sorry..." "No, it's me....i'm just....i'm not right..." She sat down in front of him, "You wanna talk?" "Everything is falling apart....", He mumbled through his sobs, "My entire life, is nothing but a joke....a freaking curse. I get stuck with these stupid anger issues from my stupid father, keeping me from having friends for years....can't even talk to someone, be social half the time....because i'm just gonna drive them away...." Tom couldn't remember a time where Star sat still and listened to every word he said, but now all her focus seemed to be on him. "Then I finally get to escape him, t-to get rid of my issues....so I can be liked, end up making the best friend I could ever have, someone who cares about me, and wants to help me and stays with me despite me being a big jerk and getting upset....and then I start to LIKE him, but no....he doesn't like me back so I have to keep even that quiet!! Y'know? Right next to all my injuries from my dad and my family history and all the other secrets i have to keep from my best friend in the entire world because i don't want to lose him forever..." He clenched his fists, "But I can't be upset about it because being upset makes me do bad things, it makes me someone i hate....and being angry is wrong. Just like being myself is wrong to my kingdom, or how much i'm putting Marco's life at risk for even being close to him..." Star could see a faint green glow start to form in the boy's cheeks and eyes and he got more and more upset, "I just want to stop, I just want to be happy, live a normal happy life where i don't have to keep secrets or be terrified of the future, where I don't have so much pressure to be this perfect prince i'm not..." Star refused to move, despite tom clutching the floor behind him now, becoming more and more angry, "Marco is doing so much for me, he wants me to stay with him and even i don't know if I can do THAT, because me being there will only put him in more danger or i'll hurt someone...." Tears ran down his face heavily, "No matter how much I try to move on, it's never going to just go away I just want it all to stop....." It was sudden, but in a flash the demon princess wrapped her arms around the crying boy, Tom relaxed instantly, returning to normal and sobbing into her dress. "It's all my fault....If i hadn't come to eart-" "Tom....", Star started, "It's not your fault....none of this....is your fault...." "I deserve this...." "Tom, stop..." "Star, I know you're just trying to help, but no matter what i'm never going to escape this, i wish i didn't have to think about it, I wish i could just not talk about my life but I'm never going to move on until I get rid of it...." "Tom, you're going to get better, this isn't going to last forever..." "So much for my anger management..." Star grabbed Tom's shoulders and forced him to look into her eyes, She looked just as sad as he did frankly, but she wasn't crying. "Tom, I know moving on is hard for you, and it hurts now.....but it's not going to hurt forever....demons suffer all kinds of eternal pain deeper then yours..." "But-" She covered his mouth with one of her clawed hands, "Tom, it's ok to cry, and be angry, and be hurt....y-you don't have to hide it, you don't have to bottle it in cause you're scared or worried.....". Tom shifted, "You didn't think that before....you dumped me....", Star winced a bit. "I know...but I also had no idea about your Dad, and everything you were going through....and i'm sorry I made you feel like being upset was wrong....", She bit her tongue, "Tom, you're not gonna get better by not being angry again....never being angry....sounds weird...you just...need to find a way to be angry in a healthy way....not with the weird green magic.." "Why are you of all people telling me this?", Tom asked, sniffling. Star rubbed her neck in embarrassment, "I've had one too many talks with Brian.....he may of...made me think about you more then I wanted to..." Tom managed a smile out of his sadness, "You make it sound so awful..." Star made a face, "Sorry!" "No it's ok, Y-you make it sound so easy.....controlling my anger like that..." "I never said it was easy...", She said, "But nothing is going to change unless you allow it..." Tom wiped his face, "I-I wanna talk to Marco, No, I need to talk to him...He needs to know, he needs to know everything....I can't just...I can't keep hiding things from him, I promised to be honest and he's better off knowing even if...", Tom closed his eyes, "Even if we can't be friends anymore afterwards...." Tom pulled Star into a hug, "Thanks for just...Thanks...." She hugged him back, "Are you gonna be ok?" "Yeah...I just....I can't...I need Marco, I need to talk to him....even if he never talks to me again...he needs to know...", Tom stood up, "He needs to know about my Dad, that's he's in danger....that we're talking again, and that I...I..." Star nodded. "Hey Tom, Your birthday is almost here right?" Tom looked at her, a bit strangely, "Yeah?". "Can I come?" "You wanna come to my birthday party?", Tom actually looked surprised. "Yeah....I don't know about you and Marco...but...no matter what, you should have someone to party with..", She shrugged, "I mean.....it'll only be more fun with me there to dance...". She twirled around to demonstrate, Tom's tears dried. He almost forgot just how much she used to make him smile. "Yeah..I-I'd love to have you there..." Star squeaked in excitement, "EEeeeeeee!! I'm so excited!! I'll make it extra special for you Tom, Birthday's are the one day a year it's all about you and how special you are!! No one should be sad on their birthday!!!", She jumped up and down. "You'll see Tom, You're party is gonna go super great, Marco and you are gonna work it out, and things will get better..." Tom sighed, "M-maybe..." "Tom....C'mon...smile...it's gonna be ok...", She said calmly, "Now that you've kinda let it all out, you can start to work on solving it..." Tom forces himself to smile a bit, "It feels good...to talk about it..." "I'm sorry this event wasn't fun.......",Star apologized suddenly,"You don't have to stay...if you don't want to.." "No Star, You're right....I can't rely on Marco my whole life....I need to have other friends.....", Tom explained, "Just like how Marco can have Jackie...". He then crossed his arms, looking at the floor, "I think, I just need to work some things out first....I can't force myself to get better...I need time.." "Ok....",Star said, understanding. "But...I'd love to do this again, when...things are better?", Tom added, "It's still one of the nicest things someone's done for me....and..It's kinda fun having a group of friends to hang out with and play games with....I don't wanna be a downer on your fun..." "Tom, you we-" "Star, I was....just..you and Janna kept worrying about me, trying to keep me calm and happy, I don't want you guys to have to do that. I-I need to take some time to myself....for awhile..take care of some things....come back with a clearer mind...", Star nodded, understanding. Tom pulled out his scissors, "I'm gonna head home....before Marco gets back, take Janna home and tell her and ponyhead i'm ok and I just need some space..." "Are you sure you're even ready to tell him?", she asked. Tom took a step forward into the portal home, sad smile plastered on his face as he waved to his Ex. "No, not at all....but there's never exactly going to be a right time....." - Tom paced back and forth, awaiting Marco's return home. Part of him was regretting the choice to leave the Underworld and stop hanging out with his other friends, because despite how he felt on his inside it was still nice to have company surrounding him and making him laugh sometimes. He didn't even know where to start when speaking to Marco, would he start with the fact he could be in mortal danger with his father? Or with the fact Tom was growing a crush on him? There didn't seem to be a right answer to all of this on what was better for him to do. He thought about backing out but fought the urge. No, he was never going to get better by hiding his problems from Marco, at least if Marco knew he could help him come up with a solution. That Tom's inner thoughts could stop hurting him, that he could know for sure how Marco felt about him. He needed to stop hiding, it was time to face the music. He felt his heart drop when he heard Marco come up the stairs and knock on his door, "Hey Tom? I'm back!! Can I come in?". "Yeah.", Tom replied way too quickly, trying to regain his posture. Marco walked in and Tom was expecting him to be smiling or frowning from his time with Jackie, but he looked oddly neutral when he took a seat on Tom's bed. Tom watched him and took a seat next to him, "Marco? Uh....something wrong? Did you ask out Jackie?". Marco didn't answer, in fact he wasn't looking at him. "Marco?" "I couldn't do it....", Marco mumbled, "We went to the skatepark, she taught me some skating moves, I got to watch her on the board and we talked and had fun but I just....I couldn't ask her...I got cold feet Tom". The human looked sad, he covered his face with his hands, "I feel so stupid....". "Marco, y-you're not stupid....", Tom said, "When you really like someone, and you wanna ask them stuff....it's ok to be scared...". Tom reached over and touched Marco's back, "It's just....a big thing, and you can't take it back either...". "I felt so confident I could do it too......", Marco rambled on, "And I just....froze." Tom's arm wrapped around his friends torso and pulled him close, Marco's head fell on his shoulder, "It's ok...you'll have other chances...". "I know....It just sucks....", Marco sighed, "But enough about me, What were you up to while I was out?I kinda missed having you there..." "Oh....nothing special...", Tom replied, "But...Marco...I need to talk to you...". Marco looked surprised, "Did something happen? Please tell me your dad didn't-" "No but...Marco, I-I ...You're in danger....", Tom managed, just barely. "Tom? I'm always in danger, we fight monsters together....", Marco started, removing himself from Tom. "No, M-my Dad....threatened to hurt you...when I went to see him...h-he...", The boy tried his best to relax, but he was clearly trembling, "I had to torture a monster in front of him and I couldn't and he was gonna hurt you and I should've said something before but I was scared he would do something horrible to you if he found out an-" Marco held Tom's shoulder, trying to clam him down, "Tom Tom!! No, Hey, it's ok.....". Marco was clearly still in a bit of shock, his heartbeat going a bit faster knowing Tom's father actually paid attention to him, and was using him against Tom. "Marco, stop saying it's ok, it's not ok.....I put a target on your back!!! And I've been hiding it from you for awhile now!! I should've warned you about my Dad, I was just...I was scared......and I did some bad things because I was scared!!" "Tom..." "I don't like hurting monsters ok? If they attack me first, sure I'm gonna defend myself...but hurting someone worse then how my dad hurts me....makes me feel awful!!! And I had nightmares for awhile about it and I-I just....I didn't want you to feel like I was a terrible person!!!" "Tom, you're not a terrible person....he made you do it....don't blame yourself..I'm not angry at you, you're scared of him...", Marco was trying to relax Tom, but the boy seemed too stressed, and very ashamed. Tom hugged his arms, sniffling, he didn't want to cry again today. "Marco, I come from a long line of kings like my dad, this is how things have been done for years, years of abuse on monsters and everything we've done. Marco, I've told you I want to be myself, grown to be me and not end up like my dad and you've told me i'm better then my dad. But.....I've never told you a lot about Mewni and it's history and maybe...I was just worried if I told you, you'd think.....That I was...", He trailed off, "I'm ashamed of my family Marco.....I didn't want you to know we've all been like this for generations....it's not something I'm proud of." "Tom....you can't pick your family.....", Marco said softly, "Your family has done some...bad things.....but you're different. You....You know what it's like...to be treated badly...to be hurt, you....you understand the monsters Tom...." "I don't like hurting people Marco....I don't wanna watch someone suffer....like I suffer...I was just....so ashamed of what I did....I just.....couldn't bring myself to tell you.", Tom sighed, "I just wish...I didn't have to be a prince....that this isn't the legacy I inherited.." "Tom, I've been keeping secrets from you too....", Marco admitted, making Tom look at him, "I....investigated your Dad, to find out what was happening, I talked to Star, Janna, and I got too involved in your business to try and help you... I didn't want to ask about it and worry you..." "Marco..", Tom felt a rush of affection overwhelm him, despite knowing some of this from Star. "I care about you Tom, and I just wanted to see if there was anything I could do to help....", the human sighed, "I'm not upset you didn't tell me, you wanted to protect me and yourself and that's ok....". Marco wrapped his own arm around his friend, "Your dad made you do something bad, he was making you into something you hate.....you've been bullied by him your whole life...and you wanted to keep me safe..." "But I did something terrible.." "We all do bad things Tom, but you didn't have much of a choice...it's ok.." "Well.....I'm not upset you wanted to help Marco....it's...really nice of you, to want to help me..", Tom said. "Well, I'm not upset at you for being scared and caring....and hey, it's ok....now that I know....we can be more cautious about your Dad...", Marco seemed a lot better now, rather more cheerful, although there was no denying he was nervous about being on a watch list for a mewman king, "I'm glad we both finally said this stuff.....it...honestly feels better to be honest with you...." "Yeah me too.." Tom looked at Marco's nervous smile and watched him play with his hair, he was adorable, in a dorky kind of way. Tom just had to say it, be honest with him, it was like ripping off a bandage. Marco would understand, he understood everything, he'd understand if Tom thought of Marco in that way. There was silence between them though, very awkward silence. Marco bumped Tom playfully, prompting Tom to bump him back, "I really did miss you y'know....you're so much fun to be around, you would've loved it....skateboarding failures can be so funny sometimes...". "I like spending time with you too Marco....", the mewman smiled, "You're just....so wonderful...and so understanding..." "You like complimenting me don't you?", Marco joked, "Well I happen to think you're wonderful too...Tom, you're sweet, and fun, a goofball, amazing at magic, you have adorable pink hair, and a nice smile, and your eyes are a pretty shade of red and you care so much about your friends and you always do your best and you love talking about the craziest things, and you're so good with animals!!" Tom felt himself blush, "You're quite the charmer Diaz..." "Shut up, it's true..." Tom bumped him again, fiddling with his hands, "Marco..I um....I..." "Yeah Tom?" I like you Three words, that's all it would take. "I want you to be happy, no matter what you want to do with your life....or who you like....you deserve the best....", Tom smiled to him, "You may be a nerd, and kinda weird, and a bit of a mom sometimes....but..I hope you find what you're looking for..." Marco hugged Tom immediately, "Thanks so much...I hope you do too...." "I'm still planning out your birthday party with my parents, I invited Jackie too, maybe I can ask her out then?!!!", he beamed, "Tom, I promise I'm gonna make up for every birthday you spent on mewni with this party..." "I know i'm gonna love it already Marco.." Tom said. "Why?" "Cause you're going to be there...and that's everything I could honestly ever wish for..." Marco turned red, Tom's comment clearly making his nervous, "Tom...I-I um...are you?" Marco was about to say something when he heard his dad calling them downstairs for dinner, and Marco stood up, taking Tom with him. "We better go eat...", Marco suggested, suddenly a little bit more tense, ushering Tom downstairs and to the kitchen. Tom felt anxious, Marco's new tone of voice made him nervous. What did he say wrong? Did he make things more awkward between them? Tom felt a bit sick during dinner, he didn't eat much. Marco didn't look at him either, and Tom wished he could just get up and leave. This had been what he was afraid of. When he and Marco went back upstairs, Marco still seemed to be acting weird. Still not looking at him and clearly still lost in thought. "Marco? Is-are you ok?", he hesitated to ask, but he had to know if this was his fault. "Hmm? No, i-i'm fine....it's um....just nervous about asking Jackie out...y'know?", He didn't seem to be telling the truth, but Tom didn't question it further. "Ok...", Tom didn't hide the disappointment in his voice very well, but Marco seemed to be too much in though to notice. "Marco, I-I didn't mean, to say anything wrong, I-I uh....", Tom started, "I-I just....I wasn't trying to say..." "Tom, don't worry, it's nothing, you said nothing wrong it's.....don't worry about it....", Marco replied. Tom silenced himself, trying to avoid all thoughts of Marco possibly hating him. "Tom....i'm gonna change, you uh...wanna do anything tonight...?", Marco asked awkwardly. "No...it's uh...been a long day for me....i'm just going to sleep I think..", Tom said, "Just...we can hang out tomorrow....." "Yeah, Tomorrow....", Marco replied, still in his odd tone, "Let's rest and hang out tomorrow....I'm pretty tired..." "Me too, yeah..." "G'night buddy....", Marco said, heading into his room and closing the door behind him. "Night....friend....", Tom said, closing his own door behind him. Tom leaned against the wall and tried not to cry, maybe by tomorrow Marco would forget what he said and things would go back to normal, at least that's what he was hoping for. The boy fell face first on his bed, and for once, hoped the boy in the other room was really thinking about Jackie instead of him. Tom sighed. All he could ever wish for? What the heck was that? That was about as embarrassing as it could get!! Now he made Marco feel awkward and uncomfortable!! Freaking great Tom, you tried to tell him, only to make him freak out. He wanted to break something again, desperately wishing he kept his mouth shut. Why did he ever think Marco would like him? - In the other room, Marco laid down on his bed, not even changed. Thinking about Tom. Today with Jackie had been nice, they had fun, she was super easy-going, and she still made him nervous beyond belief. He didn't like her any less. But Tom, he just.... Marco felt himself grow warm. Him? He's everything Tom would wish for? Tom's a prince, and yeah he didn't have many friends or support throughout his life, but surely there were better things then some human. Tom cared about him, made tough choices for him, but this was like....this was like when he used to go on and on...about Star. Now that he thought about it, this was a lot like Star. Tom would go on about how cool she was and what made her special to him, before the events of the ball changed him. and now that Marco was really thinking about it, he talked about him the same way. Tom talked about how great he was, how he was the best thing that ever happened to him, that he deserved the best, Tom made him feel good about himself. "Tom's my best friend...of course he likes me and cares about me...", he muttered into the mattress, "I mean, we're friends....we're not like....". Marco turned on his side to go to sleep, but found he wasn't tired anymore, but lost in thought about his friend. All the times he's argued with Janna about dating Tom, or the times he's thought of him as cute, or the moments where he made him feel like the greatest person on earth. Marco felt warm as images from the ball flooded his mind, how cute he thought Tom was, and how nice it was to dance with him. Yeah for multiple times he's thought of Tom as attractive but...he always thought of it as him enjoying it in an aesthetically pleasing way, not in a romantic way. Not that Tom wasn't adorable, or really cute...he was..he just.. "you have adorable pink hair, and a nice smile, and your eyes are a pretty shade of red" He still remembered when he first saw Tom in his suit for the ball, how his outfit perfectly matched his features. He was beautiful, he was fun, and Marco didn't know what he'd do without him if anything happened. "But we're just friends...", Marco said to himself, closing his eyes and shutting out these thoughts of his friend, "And liking him would't work out anyway.....I like jackie, and he wouldn't want to date some human...not at risk of seeing me get hurt..." Tom deserved the best too after all, and that wasn't Marco. Marco let these thoughts drag him into sleep, hoping tomorrow would be better. unknowingly that down the hall, the boy in his thoughts was thinking the same thing.

#tomco #star vs the forces of evil #svstfoe #svtfoe #tom the demon #tom lucitor #star butterfly #janna #ponyhead #my art #fanfiction #fanfic #Tom Vs The Forces Of Evil

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jjamspace-blog · 6 years ago

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Gifts That Last

So here’s another blog entry. This time it’ll be about my mom’s stories about her childhood. Actually, it’ll be about one story that’s more like a combination of multiple stories. Essentially, it was about how her mother, her aunt and uncle (and pretty much her entire family) became her entire parental unit after her father passed on early in her life. She talked about how her uncle left for Japan to work so that he could send her to university. She even talked about how her aunt would leave with a few pesos and somehow come back the same day with enough food to feed the house (a secret that she admits she has never figured out). She talks about how her mother acted as the mother figure (cooking and cleaning and other typical motherly stuff) not only for her but for her cousins as well. Not really too much to tell. These acts are things that happened regularly in her life. My mom told me these stories the same way we would talk about having a good day at school or work: always happy and always with peace of mind.

This same view also passed onto me. When I was a kid, I never saw her aunt and uncle as a grand aunt or grand uncle. I always told the other kids that I had two grandmas and one grandpa on my mom’s side. They always looked at me confused and it was only years later (teenage years) that the concept of a grandaunt or granduncle was something that I understood. These trends essentially shaped my views on family. Your family isn’t the people directly related to you like your siblings, parents or children. It’s the people who are there for you when you need help and hang around anyway when things are fine because they enjoy your company and you enjoy theirs as well. I guess I have already been keeping them going. With my friends from high school, I essentially see them as my siblings. The that’s closest to me is someone I call my little sister (mainly because of the way she acts and because I’m way taller than her so it looks like I’m older).

Hey, sis. (Vax’ildan and Vex’ahlia, the twins from Critical Role)

As a matter of fact, I commonly tease her the way an older brother would. My favorite past time with her is keeping track of all the boys she’s had crushes on. In a span of five years, I’ve counted nearly twenty. I’ve even calculated her rate using the basic formula for speed in Physics which speed = distance/time. Distance (being the boys which is around 16)/time (5 years). This means that she has liked around 3.2 boys per year. Truly a record. Other times, I’ve also shared sandwiches with her and helped her out with her homework. Heck, I even egged her on to ask her crush as a date to the 9th grade dance (an hour long pep talk mind you). She’s been of my best friends for almost 6 years now and that’s thanks to fact that my mother taught me how family isn’t about blood but bond.

I think this is a great time to talk about me as well (I don’t like doing this). Another story (this time from my father) was about how he’d take me out for rides in a car when I was around two years old. He’d drive around the neighborhood and I’d sit in his lap. Sometimes, he’d stop and bounce me on his knee like I was riding a horse. There were other times throughout my childhood where he’d wrestle with us (my younger brother and me) or even turn our beds into slides. I think it was this consistency of fun and enjoyment that pretty much said it was okay to be me and that my parents would take care of me. For Erikson’s stages 1 to 5, I really learned to trust my parents during my first stage. I also developed my autonomy as my parents would ask me if I wanted to do these things (the car riding, wrestling and knee horse) and there were times when I would not want to. So yes, my parents gave me more than enough space for me to develop my autonomy. I also developed my stubborn streak during this period (that I and my parents both say I have inherited from both of them). Though I got to choose, my parents also sort of nudged me towards the stereotypically boy things like Power Rangers, robots and Star Wars (Thanks mom and dad!). This is now the third stage and yes, I would say I did see the differences between the sexes here. I even got into the age old “boys are better than girls” argument. From here, I got into the 4th stage and I would say that the positive reception I got from the previous 3 stages did help as this was the time I started taking my school work very seriously and I became grade conscious. This did pay off as I actually got good grades throughout middle school and high school, helping me get into college a year early and even get into an Honors course. Even now in college, I am feeling more unmotivated compared to my past years because it’s all so new to me (the people, the profs, the size of the environment) and so my grades dropped.

ME IN HIGH SCHOOL VS ME IN COLLEGE

(I am not a D- student though) (FYI I am mostly a B to sometimes B+ student)

Even then, I’d still consider myself on the more academically well off among my course and department as there are students who are just fighting to stay in the course while I’m well above the cut off. I just wish my grades were higher. Besides that, I’m still looking for my motivation again and I can feel it coming back (in extremely small amounts but baby steps, y’know?). Right now, I’d say I’m in the fifth stage of development going to the fifth. I’m very much secure in my identity as a grade conscious student and eldest son (because my brothers JUST HAD to be the socially outgoing little munchkins going into the performing arts so guess who’s stuck in the natural sciences as an aspiring Physician?). This is a great time to talk about my dream as a doctor y’know? I tried out theater, sports and the humanities (like the vast majority of my family) but for the longest time, I couldn’t see any of them as my vocation or calling the way this medical dream has. Just the idea of helping people regardless of their background and fixing them up and making them feel better is something I have gotten behind. The politics? The social justice? The liberalism? The conservatism? The communism? Democracy? Libertarian? Honestly, it bores me and disillusions me. I feel like being a doctor is one of the last few professions that does good just for the sake of good (in it’s ideal form of course). Every other profession I can think of has so many labels and causes that go with it. But a doctor? Just keep them alive. Make sure they wake up. When they come to you sick, you simply treat them with all you have. I will have that white coat adorning my shoulders one day as I become a competent Surgeon who’ll help just because it’s the right thing to do. And yes, I will treat people regardless of their background. I mean it. If politicians, soldiers and social justice warriors and hardcore conservatives wanna fight, they can do it outside of my operating room. Everyone gets fair treatment from me.

Overall, I’d say I’m a nine to ten among the first five the developmental stages that Erikson’s theory has described. Specifically, 10 for the first two stages then a 9 for the the third and fourth then a 10 again for the fifth. I hit some rough patches in the initiative and industry stages because those stages required some socializing of me that I just could not put out as an introvert. Honestly, I’d say with the utmost conviction that I’m syntonic and trustful because of the good stuff and bad stuff that made me “me”. Thanks to my mother’s version of family and my father finding ways to entertain me and my siblings, I’ve lived a gifted life so far. I’m the smartest. I have my lazy moments. I am not particularly athletic. BUT I am functioning individual with just the right mix of qualities that I need (like academic knowledge, determination, etc.) so that I can make my way in the world to one day help people as a good Surgeon. So yes, my parents gifts of family and fun do last and I fully intend to pass them on in my own unique way.

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