#coffee n shit podcast

[4drianaaaa]

TOXIC | HAMZAHTHEFANTASTIC

nsfw +18 || fem reader |

WRD COUNT: 1,382

Martin and Hamzah were getting everything set up for the big surprise you were gonna give the podcast listeners

“Does she have to be here? Like we could have gotten someone else other than her.” Hamzah sighed as Martin looked at Hamzah with an unassuming expression “dude cmon she’s Mandy’s friend, get used to her.” Martin began ‘struggling’ with the mics and audio

“Yeah well I also heard she’s single and dude just tell me if you like her or something because no way you both just have random beef?” Martin snickered as Hamzah’s tongue poked the inside of his cheek as he shook his head staying completely silent.

your hatred for Hamzah has always been strong and high, you both never got to know each other as well as you thought.

You, Mandy, and Martin on the other hand were close. You’ve been friends with them for the longest before they became friends with Hamzah. You knew deep down there was a little jealousy about there new friend but obviously you wouldn’t have the balls to admit it. You were on the way to their studio to film a special podcast episode with all three of them. It obviously took a bunch of convincing from Mandy but you couldn’t say no to her.

You and Mandy ran to the iconic couch as you saw Martin holding a mic

“I think we have to go get another one. This is literally tore up” he sighed as he looked at Hamzah who furrowed his eyebrows “no?! -maybe..”Hamzah tried taking the mic out of Martin’s hands as he pulled it away “no dude don’t worry I’ll just buy another one with Mandy really quick!” He said as Mandy nodded her head repeatedly. He attempted at getting you two alone before the podcast so it wouldn’t be as bad as he was imagining it

“Yeah, it’ll be quick” she grabbed the car keys from the coffee table as Martin ran to her. You looked at Hamzah who sighed as he had a defeated look. You grabbed your phone as you noticed your phone was at 1%.

“do you have a charger?” you asked as he shook his head “no” he said bluntly, you saw a small smirk on his lips as you hissed “your so annoying”

You got up as you went into the other room looking for a charger

“dude, i never said you can go in there” he chased you as you grabbed one off a wall “it’s not that big of a deal” you yelled as he followed you to the room.

“You didn’t bring one bro sucks to be you” he grabbed the charger from you as you tried to snatch it back, “Hamzah it’s literally just a charger why are you being such a baby about it?” You growled as he grabbed your wrists and pulled you towards him “it’s my stuff and i never told you to use it!” You noticed how close the two of you were, you felt his hot skin against yours from the play-fighting

His breath hitched from you rubbing against him as your eyebrows raised.

“Y/n.” He said as you felt his hard stare and powerful grip on you as you felt your self getting hot as his eyes were glued to your face

The back of your mind was filled with thoughts that he would obviously look back at this moment and be a dick about it.

You weren’t thinking about anything else but the tension in the room. You suddenly let go of the charger from your hand, as he did too. His hands travelled around your waist as your face turned red. His hand now on the side of your face. Your hands were tugging against the string of his hoodie as his face was centimeters away from yours

“Hamzah! Cmon no time to waste!” Martins voice echoed as both of your faces were in shock, “shit, uh- stay here I’m gonna go out and then you go” Hamzah parted from your face as he held up a finger against his lips as you nodded. The door opened as you heard their muffled voices as you thought about what had just happened. You walked out as you saw everyone in their places sat down with mics in their laps, as Hamzah fidgeted with the designs on the pillow on his laps as he avoided any type of contact with you.

The whole episode it was just you, Mandy, and Martin talking except Hamzah. He would just laugh or giggle or comment on stuff Martin would say.

Once Martin and Hamzah wrapped it up you noticed how Hamzah’s eyes were just glued to you.

“Okay bye guys, good job both of you. Not a single argument!” Martin cheesed as Mandy left with him.

You are now sitting on the couch next to him as he placed his phone down on his lap

“If you’re gonna say something stupid I don’t wanna hear it” you said looking at him as he giggled “no, it’s just…sorry. Genuinely I’m sorry” he sighed as you rolled your eyes jokingly “how do I know your not joking right now” you teased as he laid his head back “what more do I need to do girl” he asked as the memory of the both of you in the room came to haunt you again. You had thoughts for sure

“Maybeee…if you buy me something?” You joked as he tsk’d “or maybeee…finish what we started?” You looked at the room as he sighed as he licked his lips

You plugged in your phone as you saw him walking into the room.

“No fuss now huh?” You questioned as he laughed “yeah yeah” he sat beside you on the couch that was in the room as his lips immediately met yours as your hand rested on his face. He slowly lifted you up on his lap as you giggled, his arms were now wrapped around your waist as you felt his hard bulge under you as the crave for him was now desperate, your soft moans worked him up even more as your lips parted catching your breath, your legs rested now on each side of his thighs as you removed your shirt leaving you in your bra as he practically drooled. His hands slip off your bra. His hands all over your waist as his tongue swirled against your hard nipples as you played with the curls that laid on top of his head

“Jesus fucking Christ” he grunted as you slowly began grinding on top of him as you fidgeted with your sweats, you got up and quickly removed your sweats leaving you in your thin panties, he placed you back on his lap as he slid down his pants to reveal the big tent on his boxers “so pretty” he whimpered as he slid down his boxers as his throbbing cock sprung onto his stomach

You on your knees above his lap as his tip circled around your clit making your knees weak “fuck Hamzah” you whined as he rubbed his tip against your slit, you held onto both of his hands as you slowly adjusted to his size, “holy fuck!” You moaned as he groaned from how tight you were. You finally took all of him as you panted “holy shit, I’ll go slowly m’kay baby” he whined as you nodded, you slowly bounced on top of him as your whines filled the room. He threw his head back as you continually bounced on his cock as small praises came out of his mouth, “Hamzah-“ you felt a knot in your stomach “yes baby fuck yes! Cmon” he whined as you moaned into his mouth as your lips met again.

“Hamzah im about to fucking come holy shit!” You cried “cmon baby fucking come all over this cock, yeah?” He panted as your lips met once again as he pounded into you hitting every single spot

Your body flopped onto him as you came all over his cock as he kissed your forehead, you felt his warm seed filling you up as you sighed and panted

“your fucking amazing y/n” he sighed as you laughed “I still hate your guts” you smirked as he laughed not knowing how you were both gonna tell Martin.

————

💌: Hey guys I’m so sorry I’ve been gone for a while but I’m gonna stop Writing for a WHILE. I’m currently on a vacay and I haven’t really gotten the time to be writing so I sincerely apologize but I will be here active just not writing! I hope yall understand, I’ll be back soon xx

[megangovier]

Comforting him🫶🏻

Older! James x soft wife! fem reader

Mention of y/n Summary: James walks into the house and collapses on the couch defeated and tired. You've just came downstairs from running him a bath, he heads upstairs and relaxes. His dinner was in the over warming up, you'd cooked him his favourite and made a cookies and cream cheesecake.

Warning: Fluff, soft! Reader, alcohol, age gap, pet names, mdni ♥️

four years ago..

You were heading down the park, coffee in hand, book in the other. Headphones in ears listening to podcasts, when you accidently bumped into a handsome looking man "sorry sir-" your eyes widened. You couldn't believe how gorgeous he looked, he looked older than your dad but couldn't care about that "sorry ma'am, I wasn't paying attention" bending down to get your book James grabbed it before you could "here you go ma'am, I'm James btw but people call me Logan" shaking his hand "nice to meet you James, what a lovely name by the way, I'm y/n" James's face heated up, he didn't get much compliments but you made his day already.

"You're stunning y/n, want to go for a coffee one day maybe?" a twinkle in his pretty eyes appeared, and a shy smile appeared on your face "sure, here's my number I'll text you when I get home and we can set a coffee date" you haven't been on a date for years, it was surprising when a handsome man asked you, your stomach flipped, and your heart was dancing in your chest. You didn't know this man but why was your body reacting this way? he's a stranger to you but something about him made you somehow interested in him. The kindness in his eyes, the cute smile. You didn't know.

When you got home and closed your door, you were leaning against it with the biggest shit eating grin on your face, heart beating out your chest and knees weak. No man has made you feel like a jelly mess before, there's definitely something about him you like. Once your legs stopped feeling like jelly, you looked in your diary to plan that coffee date with James looking through you had a free day Saturday which was a few days away. You left James a voice mail as he was busy today and hopefully, you'll hear from him soon.

three years later... You both get married and brought a house together♥️

James was known to have such a strong work ethic; at times it did worry you when you didn't see him for hours on end. Sometimes he wouldn't come home which would cause panic, but he always came back to you in the end. So, when James walked through the door, he collapsed on the couch looking so defeated a sad smile washed over your face "I've ran a bath for you sweetheart, take your time up there darling, I've cooked your favourite meal and it's currently warming up in the oven and made your favourite cheesecake" James getting up from the couch, he kissed you on the cheek lovingly "Thank you honey, you're so good to me! see you soon"

James heads upstairs, you check on his food and turn down the temperature. The cheesecake was currently in the fridge, the table was set with one fork, knife and spoon. You've already ate a few hours ago but wanted to make sure he'd ate all his. Red wine on the table, whiskey in his glass. An hour later, you could hear footsteps coming downstairs, birchwood and vanilla scent in the air. You went around the table and pulled out his chair for him and he sat down "thank you gorgeous, this looks amazing" sitting oppose him, taking in the beautiful view.

You couldn't believe how lucky you're to have such a protective and caring man as James. When he ate, it always put a smile on your face, you always made sure he ate something throughout the day especially when he's busy away or close to home. He had just finished his meal and rubbed his stomach in satisfaction licking his lips "that was so nice, you sure know how to make my favorites don't you honeybun" a smile fell onto your face, getting up to put the plate and cutlery in the sink you head to the fridge and took out the homemade cheesecake you made for him this morning.

"So, how's your day been sweetie?" James said.

Looking at his beautiful brown eyes "It's been good, better now that you're home" a smile appeared onto his face, he definitely looks tired so after his dessert you are going to take him to bed and appreciate all of him. After a few more glasses of red wine, you took his hand in yours, opened the bedroom door and went into the bathroom to brush your teeth, went to the toilet and slipped into your pj's. James went in after you, did the same and both went to bed you being the big spoon. James was lying on his back now, your head on his chest. You always felt safe in his strong protective arms, you remember the very first-time meeting, James.

James always looked so peaceful sleeping, his chest heaving slowly up and down. This man beside you, weren't just your husband, but best friend too. Your lips were beside his ear nibbling on it, making him giggle "what are you doing?" eyes slowly opening to look at you. A playful look on your face appeared, he could smell your arousal, but he was too tired. At times like this, he would normally let you do what you wanted to him, but you just wanted to appreciate him the way he appreciates you.

[squinch-depraved]

I was watching a chuckle sammy episode today and there was a part where Schlatt said he would hire a hot secretary just to keep him company. I'd love a story about that if you're willing.

The episode is the zodiac one the part I'm referring to is exactly 1 hour in.

this is reallllly yummy i hope i did it justice for you

it was supposed to be just a joke. just a bit for the podcast, a few sentences about hiring an attractive secretary and nothing more. but they stuck in schlatt's mind and hung heavy over him for the rest of that night. he really was lonely. and ted had a point, hiring someone to just be around (and look pretty) was looking like a better and better idea every second. so he finished off his bottle of benedictine, not that there was much left, and tossed it to the side, stretching out further on the couch while he pulled out his phone and set to work searching for an assistant.

it wasn't long before ted heard about his search, and the two men bantered in a call for a few minutes about it before the older of the two stopped his jokes to suggest, "no, but for real though, i have a friend who just moved back to new york, you might remember her, she was on the set for this past chuckle week helping in the background. y/n?"

schlatt's pupils dilated and he took in a breath. "yeah, i remember her," he replied coolly. "thought she was in school though?" he played with something on his desk.

ted lit up. "yeah, she's studying, but i'm sure she'd be willing to work something out with you." his voice was laced with knowing. he had seen the way schlatt sized you up the first time he laid eyes on you, the way he could never meet your gaze and how he always looked to you first when he made a joke. "i'll send you her info, you should reach out, man. she'll be happy to hear from you."

that last line was the only reason schlatt did it. he cursed himself for letting ted convince him now that you were here in front of him. you had been invited to a coffee shop to discuss the job details, and when you finally showed up, he looked incredibly uncomfortable sitting at a small table. but you sat down in front of him, smiling up at him and pushing your glasses up on your nose.

"hi schlatt!" you greeted him, reaching out to shake his hand. he gripped you a bit too hard and grimaced when you made a small noise, shaking your hand out when he let go. "thank you so much for the opportunity, i was really worried i wouldn't be able to find a good job for a while with my school going on and everything."

he nodded hastily and pushed a pastry he ordered for you towards you on the table. you smiled and yanked it towards you, beginning to eat as he spoke. "basically, i just need you to get any random tasks i need done, done. just, paperwork, if there ever is any, usually it's all digital, uhh, anything that slips through the cracks. i just need someone to be there and make sure my shit is taken care of."

you raised a brow. "sounds like you need more than an assistant," you responded with a smirk. his face reddened and he looked away, trying to shove down the thoughts of why you were really here. you were making a joke, but it wasn't funny to him. not when you didn't know you were right.

"shit, i'm sorry schlatt, i didn't mean to insult you-"

"'s fine. not insulted. i need you in the office whenever i'm there, sometimes i get work done at my apartment, so here's a key to both. feel free to get your own shit done whenever you're working unless i need you doing something. pay's fifty an hour. can you start today?" he slaps two keys down onto the table as well as two addresses written down on a half-crumpled napkin. you stare up at him in shock before snatching the keys and paper.

"fifty bucks an hour???" you whisper-screamed at him before the startled look on his face pulled you back into reality. "what about this job is worth paying me that much? i'm accepting it, no takesies backsies, but why so much, schlatt?" you tilted your head at him as you asked.

he scrambled for an answer to your question that wasn't "i want to spoil you until you can't think of anything else in the world you want," but when he opened his mouth to talk, nothing came out. you sighed and answered his previous question instead.

"yeah, i can start today. let's go ahead and get to work, boss," you said, standing up and collecting all your school stuff you brought in with you. "take me somewhere i can dump my stuff!"

weeks passed, you fell into rhythm with his fucked up schedule easily, quickly learning when to fetch him more caffeine and when to take away his alcohol. you kept him organized, boosting his productivity and helping him with almost anything he needed. you learned a few days in the fifty an hour was for no good reason other than maybe ted had told him you were struggling to pay for school (he hadn't) because most of your job was sitting at another desk, sometimes in the same room, sometimes separated by walls, parallel playing with schlatt as he filmed or streamed or edited or did whatever he needed to do while you worked on schoolwork or a fun hobby you were into. you were being paid to do minimal office work, study and relax, and best of all, care for your hot boss. he loved when you called him that, boss, it always made his cock twitch and his brain flood with thoughts of you under him.

the worst part of the job was how attracted you were to him. it made doting on him inevitable when your whole source of income was reliant on you making sure he was "taken care of." he noticed you acting more lovingly for the first time when you brought a water bottle to his desk while he was editing and massaged the back of his shoulders before mumbling, "you need to take a break and stretch soon," and leaving the room. he was stunned, skin burning under his sweater where you touched him. secretaries don't do that. he quickly opened up his messages with ted and began typing.

"dude. i fucked up. shouldn't have hired y/n. help." every sentence was a different message. moment later, ted eased the pounding of schlatt's heart a bit by replying.

"what happened??"

schlatt typed quickly. "she massaged my shoulders idk man i can't think around her"

"oh dear heavens, the damn harlot massaged you?"

schlatt didn't dignify that with a response. a few moment later, ted typed again.

"she's really into you dude, you should go for it. i promise she's not the type to sue you if it doesn't work out"

his main fear erased, he closed the chat and got off the computer, heading to find you in his apartment kitchen, going over the schedule for the days to come. music played from a speaker on the counter, and you paused it when you saw him come out.

"sorry, was it too loud?" you asked, looking up at him.

"nah," he shook his head. "you've been workin' for me for a few months now, y/n," he began.

you started shaking your head, backing up into his fridge. "schlatt, please, no, i need this job," you started to babble.

"shhh, nonono, not that at all, doll," he assured you, gliding across the floor to caress your cheek. the pet name made your stomach turn as you let him cup your face. "was gonna say somethin' else."

"what is it, then, boss?" you batted your lashes at him. he inhaled sharply and kissed you, absorbing the high pitched moan you let out. when he pulled away, you flicked your eyes down from his to his mouth and back up to meet his gaze before pulling him back in.

he tasted like whiskey, and he growled against your neck when you slid your hands under his shirt. "hired you just to keep me company but i can't keep my hands off you, doll." the nickname made you nervous for the second time that night.

"then don't keep 'em off me," you panted, puling your shirt off over your head and adjusting your skewed glasses. he drinks you in, inhaling the scent of your perfume (that you recently had to buy another of because he stole your first bottle to smell while he pumped his thick cock in his hand whenever you were gone). after a moment, he peeled your leggings off and picked you up, setting you down on the counter before he kneeled between your legs and looked up at you for permission to begin tasting you. you nodded, running your fingers through his brown curls while he started to lick and kiss at your cunt. much to his enjoyment, you didn't hold back your noises, letting your moans and cries bounce off the echoey walls of his apartment.

he slid a finger in you as he sang praises about how good you tasted for him, working his way up to two, and eventually three. you were crooning about how amazing he felt, knotting your fingers deeper into his hair and pulling it when you felt your high getting close, which made him moan directly onto your clit. you clenched your thighs around his head and ground down onto his face as he drew an orgasm from you.

once his face was thoroughly soaked with your juices, he pulled away and came up to kiss you for a bit before pulling you off the counter and spinning you around.

"i promise i'll fuck you properly, in a bed, next time, i just gotta have you now, toots." he bent you over the counter and slid his pants down, stroking his length a few times before slowly pushing into you. you both moaned, adjusting to each other, and he started thrusting, gripping your hips fiercely as you shrieked and adjusted your glasses again, to no avail because you were being shaken and throttled like a toy.

"god, you're so good!!" you screeched, moaning further when he smacked your ass in response.

"fuck, you look so cute, bent over on my counter like that, lettin' me use you like the good little assistant you are," he snarled. you let out a guttural whine at how hot he sounded. "you're so good at assisting me, baby."

your knees began to buckle and he grabbed you tighter to help hold you up.

"almost there, toots, c'mon. doin' so good."

you cried out one more time and his pace quickened, growing unsteady as he got closer to finishing. he thrust forcefully a few more times before pulling out to come all over your back and ass.

quiet settled over the kitchen as you both panted, and you heard him quietly snap a picture of you with his seed all over you before he grabbed a paper towel and began to clean you up.

"sorry," he mumbled.

you shook you head and turned around to kiss him. "can i stay the night?" you asked him.

he nodded, relieved, and slipped his pants back on.

"can i get paid for it?" you looked at him with a sly expression, glasses smudged.

he laughed. "absolutely."

[essjujutsu]

WHOS PRAYING ON OUR DOWNFALL

masterlist ... next HEY SIRI! play : two matches

Y/N L/N .. art student , can't hold a stedy job but makes money by selling art on her etsy shop &&& craft markets , has a cat named juno ,,, sophmore in college and lives with utahime and nanami in their apartment they rent . has somewhat of a twitter following from posting her art when she was in highschool

UTAHIME LORI ### journalism major ... has worked and gotten fired at way too many retail stores , started a podcast on a whim and it's gotten slightly popular (yn and nanami are included in some episodes) , sophmore in college , lesbian!

KENTO NANAMI :: film major , has a pretty popular youtube account dedicated to movies , though he dosen't use his real name so he has a very low following on his personal account , sophmore in college , "erm actually" mf , a barista at a small cafe that no one really likes because the coffee is not very good

HOW THEY MET? WELL... y/n & utahime met in middle school, they bonded quickly and became very close friends, they met nanami their freshman year of highschool when they decided to join the schools film club, the three of them were the only members and quickly became besties! they grew up on the countryside and wanted to go to college in the big city, they all go to the same college but decided to live off campus and rent a cheap apartment nearby

authors note ... oh my god guys making the etsy/podcast/yt things took forver but were SO fun, shoutout ibis paint x!!! i have a shit ton of motivation to write for this series rn but idk when i'll start posting actual chapters for it, i'll try to get out the other character intros sometime this week though! (ily thanksgiving break) div by ianrkivs taglist : (send an ask or comment to be added) @moonchhu @gigiiiiislife @k-kkiana @kaemaybae @genxnarumi @tibibibi123 @harryzcherry

[dellalyra]

𝙔𝙫𝙚𝙨 𝙎𝙖𝙞𝙣𝙩 𝙇𝙖𝙪𝙧𝙚𝙣𝙩 - 𝘍𝘢𝘮𝘪𝘭𝘺 𝘍𝘰𝘳𝘮𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴

ɢᴏᴊᴏ ꜱᴀᴛᴏʀᴜ x ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ

A/N: submission request from my dearest darling @soraya-daydreams, coming in clutch with the cute ideas.

CW: like one suggestive sentence, almost crack, hints that pixie loves her fashion

“Y/N!” A scream (clearly Nobara) echoed down the corridor of the school as you organised some books in the Jujutsu High library.

“Y/N!” Yuuji, this time.

“Mom!” Unless Akio had miraculously learned how to speak at 6 months old then that was Megumi.

Three figures skidded around the corner, through the library door and landed in a heap of limbs and black, brown and pink hair. You just raised your eyebrows.

“I’ve heard walking slowly causes less injuries, but hey, what do I know?” You smirk, as the kids untangle themselves.

Nobara is clutching a bundle of fabric in her hands, creamy white and brown - clearly something stained.

“Y/N, this is a DEFCON level one emergency - we screwed up like, majorly.” Nobara uttered, hand on her hip.

“You screwed up majorly, Itadori and I were just sitting there.” Megumi pointed out.

“But ‘Gumi! We were witnesses, that makes us like - accessories to murder!” Yuuji scrambles.

Your heart skipped hearing Yuuji call your son ‘Gumi’, something he only let you and Satoru and Tsumiki call him beforehand, you also don’t miss the blush on his pale cheeks - reinforcing your idea that the feelings these two had for each other were not simply platonic.

Wait -

Did Yuuji say murder?!

“Okay, who’s dead? Where’s the body? Have any of you touched anything at the scene? Megumi I need you to -” you immediately went into practical mode and all of those true crime documentaries and podcasts come flooding back.

“Jesus, mom, no - not actual murder. Yuuji is just exaggerating.” Megumi says, eyes rolling.

“I really fuck with the ‘act now, questions later’ vibe though, Y/N. Queen behaviour.” Nobara says, throwing a peace sign with the unoccupied hand.

“We were just having coffee! Well, Megumi and Nobara were having coffee - I was having orange juice.” Yuuji adds.

“Guys. What’s broken or who’s injured?” You say, mom voice appearing.

“Um… so! I was drinking my coffee, and Ijichi left something on the table, because he’s dumb!” Nobara starts frantically explaining.

“No - ah ah, we love Ijichi, this school wouldn’t function without Ijichi. Don’t listen to your Sensei.” You butt in because there will be no Ijichi slander in your presence.

“Sorry, Y/N. Anyway! I was drinking my coffee! The coffee got knocked over and spilled! It spilled onto this!” She says, holding up the ruined white fabric in her arms, as both boys grimaced.

You gasp.

“Oh, fuck.” You whisper.

“That’s what I said!” Yuuji interjects.

“Shit.” You say again, examining the fabric in your hands

“That’s what I said.” Megumi groans.

“Motherfucker.” You toss your head back.

“That’s what I said!” Nobara nods.

“Okay. Let’s fix this. Eh… Megumi! Go to see Ijichi - ask him for washing detergent - he lives in the staff accommodation, so he can get us some. Nobara, I need you to boil the kettle and get some boiling water and cloths, okay? Yuuji, do you have vinegar in the kitchen? Because we need that.” You list off, desperately trying to remember what gets rid of coffee stains.

Megumi nods and leaves, Nobara rushes from the room and Yuuji salutes and darts to the kitchen.

This has to work.

Because the coffee flavoured thing in your hands is your husbands tailored white silk Yves Saint Laurent dress shirt, which he adores.

Which he also bought for ¥250,000.

After a moment the three kids come back with the required equipment and you combine all three and dunk the shirt into the mixture to soak for 15 minutes.

As the timer beeped on your phone, you took out the shirt and quickly realised it was absolutely no better.

You looked at the kids.

Then it all went to shit.

“Princess! Are you being a dork and organising books for fun again? Yaknow if you’re bored you can always come into my office and get on your kn-” The boisterous voice of your love echoes as the man himself rounds the corner and finds the kids and you tussling by the table. In a flash, you all turn to him - wide smiles.

He quirks his eyebrows.

“Princess, I saw you an hour ago and I’m pretty sure that a baby bump doesn’t grow that fast in an hour, and thanks to modern contraception and a 6 month old son I’m guessing you’re not pregnant.” He smirks, knowing you’re hiding something, probably covering for the kids.

Before you can react he’s swooped you over his shoulder as the kids all grab your ankles and you become a tug of war between two warring factions.

Satoru eventually wins by teleporting you both to the other side of the desk and sticking his tongue out at the teenagers and shoving his hands under your sweater and taking out the offending lump.

He studies the fabric for a minute, as four people hold their breath.

That’s when he burst out in hysterical laughter.

“Baby, were you covering for these delinquents?” He asks, hand on your cheek.

“Covering?! No! They were helping me! I spilled the coffee!” You say, stuttering.

“No you didn’t princess, you drink mochas, and this is just coffee.” He says, still laughing and you curse how well he knows you.

“I don’t drink coffee!” Itadori adds.

“You don’t need the fucking caffeine.” Megumi nods.

“Well don’t leave your silk designer shirts on the table -” Nobara starts and they’re all speaking at once.

Satoru just smiles and opens his phone, tapping it a few times and then he spins the phone around, showing it to the kids.

“I just bought 5 more of the same shirt. I don’t give a damn about the shirt, seeing you three running around trying to fix it was a years worth of entertainment for me. Truly - high quality comedy.” He laughs, tossing the shirt into the trash near him.

It’s moments like these the ‘Gojo heir’ in him shines through.

“Say sorry to your mom for worrying her.” He says, winking at them all.

“Sorry, mom.” Megumi shrugs.

“I’m sorry, mom!” Yuuji adds.

“Yeah, sorry mom.” Nobara sulks.

“I DON’T REMEMBER GIVING BIRTH TO ANY OF YOU!”

[rinashinki]

Survey Corps vets as content creators:

Hange: you know damn well they're making the most unhinged YouTube videos of insane science experiments like mythbusters and talking endlessly about their interests and theories on anything. 0/10 editing skills but goes on live every other week and has a strong following nonetheless. Has been banned multiple times off several platforms but just keeps coming back. Has some haters but they're mostly too bemused by the content to know how to troll so they give up

Moblit: runs hange's website, updates his twitter and IG for fans to find out which platform/username they're posting on next. Blocks/reports users posting hate comments. Posts BTS clips of hange's filming and experimenting

Erwin: youtuber with video essay content about politics, history, English, and a healthy dose of anti-capitalism and socialist views. Attracts a lot of right wing/incel/neo n@zi/alpha bro red pill viewers who assume he shares the same values and he greatly enjoys dismantling their views. Also has a big following of people who just think he's hot and have no idea what's he's talking about. 8/10 editing BC it's fairly simple face-the-camera-and-talk but he also posts on a weekly schedule and breaks down the videos to reupload as short form content. No longer invited to guest on podcasts BC he takes over the conversation and wins every debate or argument. Runs multiple successful side businesses but doesn't care about selling merch BC he doesn't need to. 8 books under his name (all NY times bestsellers), 2 more books on the way.

Levi: never shows his face. Rarely responds to comments or questions. Makes calming content about types of tea and lifestyle content and it's unintentionally ASMR. 0 post schedule, either he's making content or he's gone for 5 months. Strong cult following and a billion conspiracies about who he is and Reddit threads of people taking screen caps of the backgrounds in his videos to try and work out where he is, but no ones ever figured it out. Never takes sponsorships so if you see him recommended a brand, you know it's good and the item sells out in 24hrs. 0 merch, he doesn't give a fuck, but participates in fundraiser's for good causes, especially for children coming from impoverished backgrounds.

Mike: gym bro thirst traps and workout tips on tiktok and IG reels. Occasionally posts talking vids for sponsorships, mostly protein shakes and charity fundraisers. Sometimes does cooking content and mens lifestyle like fashion and book/film recs. Likes to troll alpha bro viewers. 7/10 editing skills but mostly uses premade capcut templates to the latest trending tiktok audio clip.

Nanaba: editing queen 10/10. Day in the life of/GRWM/chatty vids, no particular angle for her content, SHE is the content. Takes no shit. Huge following. Big sis energy. Always has the most in depth and hilarious clap backs to hate comments. Rumoured to be dating Mike but neither of them confirm it (they've been together for years).

bonus Eruri headcanons- Erwin has his own office to film his videos whilst Levi pretty much used the rest of their house. Erwin always has a mug of tea when he films despite being known as a coffee drinker. It's always a tea blend that Levi has recommended before. No one's put 2 and 2 together yet.

[loveesiren]

𝖲𝗍𝖺𝗋𝖽𝗎𝗌𝗍 - 𝖢.𝖲. (𝖯𝗍. 3)

Disclaimer: Hate hate hate this chapter but some of y'all were getting mean so here is chapter 3. I think it's trash. My motivation has been shit lately so we'll see where this story goes.

Synopsis: Y/n runs away from her problems

Warnings: Language, heroin use, angst, 18+

Word Count: 2.8k+

Chris’s POV

I swear I was going to lose my fucking my mind in this tiny concrete room. I hadn’t even been in here for two hours and the anxiety was taking over. The cop sat at his desk, sipping his coffee loudly while watching a football game on a small tv that faced away from me. I was going to have to sit here until Monday morning and all I had to do was think. 

A million thoughts ran through my head. I’m sure Matt and Nick already called our parents and they were going to be pissed beyond belief. Luckily our podcast was pre-recorded but if I’m not out soon news is going to get around that I’m in here. But most of all, I thought about Y/n. She seemed so upset. I knew she was blaming herself for this and I prayed she wouldn’t do anything stupid. I know how vulnerable she can get when she’s down. But I know Matt and Nick will look out for her.

“Yo, don’t I get a phone call or something?” I asked the cop.

He responded with a long sigh, as if my question was making his entire job more difficult. I furrowed my brows at him, awaiting his response. “Fine.” He finally said. He got up and unlocked the cell door before leading me over to the phone. “You got two minutes, kid.”

I nodded and picked up the phone. I dialed Nick’s number, knowing he was most likely to answer.

“Hello?”

“Nick? Hey! It’s Chris!”

“Chris! Are you okay?!”

“Yeah, yeah. I’m fine.” I responded. I could hear Matt in the background and Nick switched his phone to speaker.

“Chris, we'll bond you out first thing after your hearing on Monday! Mom and dad already hired a lawyer.” Matt said.

I sighed, knowing how disappointed they were going to be. “Cool. Cool. Uhhh can I talk to Y/n?”

Matt and Nick were both silent for a few moments. “Uhm…she’s not here…”

“Well where is she?”

“I’m not sure…”

I could hear the change in Nicks voice. Something was wrong. “What’s going on? Why are you talking like that?”

“Well…She uhm…Her and Matt kind of-”

“I kicked her out!”

“You did what?!”

“She’s always gotten you into trouble, Chris. I’m sick of it. I don’t want to see you ruin your life over her. I know you’re like in love with her or whatever but-”

“Go find her. Now!” I spat. “You don’t fucking understand, Matt. You don’t fucking understand what you did! Go find her and make sure she is fucking safe!”

“Chris, what do you mean?”

“Now!” I slammed the phone down on the receiver.

“Watch it!” The cop said. I bit my tongue and followed him back to my cell. 

I sat in the corner of the tiny bed and buried my head in my knees, trying to fight the tears threatening to spill from my eyes. I loved Y/n more than anything in the entire world and I knew her better than anyone. I was the only one who knew she experimented with opioids. I tried them with her but I noticed how she started using them to numb her pain and I quit. After having to Narcan her TWICE I made her promise to never touch them again. I threatened to tell her parents. I told her I would take her to rehab. She begged me not to. I know I should have but she swore to me she wouldn’t touch them again. I helped her through her withdrawals and over the last two years she’d been true to her word as far as I knew. I mean I was with her most of the time and never saw her use or act shady. But now I wasn’t there when she needed me and who knows what Matt said to her. 

Fuck, fuck, fuck, FUCK! I couldn’t stop the tears from falling now. My whole body was shaking with anxiety.

Y/n’s POV

“Y/n! Y/N!” Danny yelled, kicking my foot. I jolted awake and struggled to see through blurred vision. I rubbed my eyes and slowly took in my surroundings as an overwhelming wave of nausea took over my body. 

“Ugh, what?” 

“Your phone’s been ringing non stop! Fucking answer it or turn it off. It’s annoying.”

I felt for my phone as previous events returned to my memory. Chris was arrested. I got in a fight with Matt. One thing led to the next and I somehow ended up at Danny’s house smacked out of my mind. I wasn’t proud of this. But remembering what Matt said to me, I felt like I was exactly where I needed to be. 

My phone started ringing again and I was able to find it between the cushions of Danny’s old, cigarette stained couch. The screen lit up with Matt’s name and I could feel the bile rising in my stomach. I ran to the bathroom and shut the door quickly behind me. I sat on the floor, heaving over the toilet, but not much came out. I can’t remember the last time I ate. I didn’t even know what day it was. I sat back and pulled out my phone. 13 missed calls from Matt and Nick combined. 5 from my mother along with three texts asking where I was. A missed call from an unknown number. To top it all off, it was 6:23 pm on Sunday. What the hell had happened in the last day and a half? 

I stood up and looked at myself in the mirror. My hair was a tangled mess, a stained crop top clung to my malnourished frame and a pair of baggy sweatpants (that didn’t belong to me) were tied tightly to my waist. I looked at the fresh track marks on my arm, a trail of dried blood leading halfway down my forearm. I was disappointed in myself. I promised Chris I would never go back to this. But it was too late now. I pulled my phone back out, ignoring all the messages from Matt and Nick and opening the text thread with my mom. I typed out a quick message. 

Hey mom, I’m fine. Haven’t been feeling great this weekend so I’ve been sleeping. Didn’t mean to worry you.

Not three seconds after I sent it, she was calling me. I sighed, really not in any head space to talk to her but I knew I was already on her last nerve so I took a deep breath and answered.

“Hello?” I definitely sounded sick.

“Y/n! Honey! Where are you?! Are you okay?!”

“I-I’m fine, mom. I’m at home. I’m just a little sick.”

“Nick and Matt said you weren’t at your house! They were just there!”

Fuck. Why the fuck had they come by?

“I just stepped out to get some medicine. I just got back.” I lied.

The lie seemed to calm her down a bit. “MaryLou told us what happened to Chris. We just wanted to make sure you were doing okay.” 

“Yeah, mom. I’m fine. Matt and Nick are going to bail him out tomorrow.” I felt nauseous again thinking about it. I didn’t know what to expect when Chris got out. I wasn’t great with confrontation and after the situation with Matt and relapsing with Danny, I didn’t really want to face Chris. “Uhm, mom, some friends asked me to go camping for a few days. So my service might be spotty.”

“I thought you were sick?”

“Yeah, I think it’s just like food poisoning or something. I should be better by tomorrow. But I’ll call you when I can, okay?”

“Y/n, are you sure you’re okay? If something is wrong you can tell us, we can come out there…”

“No, I’m fine mom. I promise. I’ll talk to you soon, okay? I love you!”

With that, I hung up on her and quickly exited the bathroom. “Danny, let’s go.”

“Go where?” He asked. 

“I-I don’t know. San Diego or something? I just need to get out of here before Chris gets out tomorrow?”

“Why? I thought you looooved him.” Danny mocked. “You’ve been mumbling about him non stop.” He sighed and sat back.

Danny liked you. That wasn’t a secret. He wasn’t bad looking. But he was a “bad boy”. His main job was drug dealing. He hung around with shady people, did shady shit, and hated on people like the Sturniolo’s for being in the public eye. Even though you were getting into your modeling career, Danny didn’t seem to care. You didn’t believe Danny’s feelings were deep. You didn’t believe Danny was capable of deep feelings or love. But you were hot and you had him wrapped around your finger.

“I-I can’t face Chris like this. I just want to get away from here. Please?” 

“My cousin has a condo down in Chula Vista. It’s right by the beach. I could call him.”

“Okay. I’m gonna run to my apartment and grab some things.”

I left Danny’s apartment, and ran up to mine. I grabbed a duffle bag from my closet and grabbed some clothes, a toothbrush, and some deodorant. The basic necessities. I was almost done packing when I heard a knock on my door. 

“Coming!” I said, assuming it was Danny. I threw my bag over my shoulder and made my way to the door. I swung it open, ready to go but stopped in my tracks when I saw Matt standing in front of me. 

“Going somewhere?” He asked.

It was hard to find my voice. My mind was a mess and my body was hurting. I needed a fix. “Uhm- Camping. With some friends.”

“Camping with friends. What friends?” Matt asked, stepping into my apartment now. 

“Just some friends. You don’t know them.” It was somewhat true. Nick and Matt didn’t know Danny. Hence why they couldn’t find me earlier. But lying to my mom about camping with friends was one thing. She didn’t know my social circle out here. Chris, Nick, and Matt on the other hand, pretty much were my social circle. We shared the same friends. If I really was to go camping with friends, chances are they’d be coming too. 

“Look, Y/n. I’m sorry for what I said yesterday…I was just upset and it was wrong of me to blame it on you.” I didn’t know how to respond so I just looked to the floor. “Chris is really going to want to see you tomorrow and-” He stopped, noticing my arms. He grabbed my wrist and yanked my arm into view. “Y/n, what the fuck happened to your arms?! Have you been shooting up?!”

“Ready to go, Princess? My cousin said-” Danny appeared in my doorway. “Well look what the cat dragged in.” Danny said with his skeezy smile. 

Matt looked him up and down before looking back at me. Danny had on tight jeans with chains and a sleeveless band shirt. He reeked of cigarette smoke and I knew Matt was judging me.

“This is who you’re going camping with?” Matt asked.

“Look, I gotta go…” I said pushing past Matt and locking my door. 

“So you’re just going to dip out on Chris?” Matt asks. “Come on Y/n. You’re better than this guy!”

“Excuse me?” Danny asks, turning to face Matt. I step in front of Danny, putting my hand on his chest. 

“Matt. You said it yourself. I’m no good for Chris…” 

“Y/n, I didn’t mean-”

“It’s fine. I gotta go. Take care of him, okay?” 

With that, I grabbed Danny’s hand and pulled him along with me down to his car to avoid any further conversation with Matt. I noticed his van with Nick inside sitting in the parking lot. He looked confused. I looked away and climbed into Danny’s car, urging him to drive away. 

Danny offered me a cigarette and I took it. Remaining quiet as I sparked it. He didn’t ask questions. But he did place his hand on my knee as he drove. “You don’t need them, Princess. I’ll take care of you.”

The words made my stomach twist into a knot. I wanted Chris. But Matt was right. I didn’t deserve him. I was exactly where I deserved to be. “You got any more dope?” 

“Gonna pick some up on our way, don’t worry.” He smiled at me. I attempted a half ass smile as I bit back the urge to cry. I looked down at my phone, studying the photo of me and Chris I had set as my wallpaper. It was a silly photo of us in highschool. We were both laughing, I was on Chris’s back as he ran down the hall with me. It was a time in my life I was truly happy. 

I shut my phone off and threw it in my bag, focusing on the world passing by through the window of Danny’s old BMW. I knew this wasn’t the right move but I was never good at confronting my problems and the promise of an escape and drugs was enough to leave LA and Chris behind me.

Chris’s POV

I sat silently while the judge went over my charges. Cameron Jacobs and his family sat and watched with smug looks on their faces. Matt and Nick sat on the opposite side of the courtroom, ready to bail me out. I was disappointed when they showed up without Y/n. 

The judge set my bond to $5,000 and gave me another court date. By noon, I was gathering my things and climbing into the van. Nick was hounding me with questions while Matt remained relatively quiet. 

“So where’s Y/n?” I asked, no longer wanting to think about the trouble I was in or the fact that I would have to call my parents when I got home and get my ass chewed out, or the fact that we were out five grand. “Why didn’t she come?” My voice cracked.

Nick looked at Matt, seeing if he would admit what happened. Matt remained silent. “Matt…”

“Where is she, Matt?” I asked. 

“Look Chris-”

“No tell me the fucking truth! It’s your fault she fucking left in the first place. Where is she?!”

Matt sighed. “I went to her place last night. She left with some sleaze bag. Said she was going camping…” 

“Dude with combat boots, covered in shitty tattoos, smelled like cigarettes?” I asked.

“Yeah.” 

“Danny.” I hissed. He was such a piece of shit. Always trying to get in Y/n’s pants. He was a slimy drug dealer and now she was God knows where with him. 

“She had, uhm…she had track marks on her arms…” Matt said. 

I tried to take a deep breath but I was beyond livid. “Pull over.” I said as calmly as I could. 

“What? Why?” Nick asked.

“Pull the fucking car over!” 

Matt did as I asked and I climbed out, slamming the door behind me before walking off down the street. 

“Chris! Where are you going?!” Matt asked as him and Nick chased after me. I really didn’t want to be near him right now.

“Fuck off, Matt!” 

“You have to fucking talk to me, man!” He said, grabbing my shoulder and forcing me to look at him. I pushed him off of me and Nick was quick to catch him before he fell. 

“This is your fucking fault!” I yelled. “Why the fuck would you say those things to her, Matt? She’s been our best friend our whole lives! This is your fucking fault!”

“I was just looking out for you! It’s not my fault she’s a drug addict, man!”

I threw myself at Matt, punching him in the eye. He fought back but it didn’t last long before Nick was separating us. 

“Stop it! What the hell is the matter with you guys?!” Nick yelled. “Chris, you just got out of jail for fucking assault. Beating up your own brother isn’t going to get you anywhere! And Matt, you were wrong for what you said to Y/n. But we aren’t going to find her if you end up back in jail and don’t work together. So both of you get in the fucking car and let’s go home and figure something out.”

As much as I hated Matt right now, Nick was right. All I really cared about was finding Y/n and I was going to need help doing that. I climbed back into the car silently and endured the ride home. I had tried texting and calling Y/n earlier but it went straight to voicemail. I typed out one more text. 

Y/n, please be okay. I’m so worried about you. Fuck whatever Matt said. You mean everything to me. Please just text me back when you get this so I know you’re okay. I love you…

Tags:@strniohoeee@daisysturniolo.@justangelheree@flowerxbunnie@recklesssturniolo@lustfulslxt@mangosrar@bluesturniolo333@christinarowie332@kenzieiskoolaid@sturniolopepsi@mattenthusiast@ilovecrazymen@sturnphilia@poopydroopt@miaakenn

[lowkeyrobin]

Hiiiiii just wanted to put in a request of Trevor Spangler x reader angst where reader is trapped with a hostile ghost, just in the mood for some angst 🤭

ooooo okay okay I see the vision ; thank you for requesting and I hope you enjoy! I need gbfe to release on digital bc I'm in desperate need to get new banners/headers. sigh ; post writing robin here, I missed the whole angst bit somehow bc idek how to write good angst so I apologize

TREVOR SPENGLER ; hostile ghost exposure therapy

summary ; youre a scientist in the making working with the ghostbusters squad and expose hostile ghosts and ghouls to human kind. sometimes it can be rough, though

warnings ; language, choking, weird ghost shit

disclaimers ; ik ghostbusters usually focuses on the ghouley types of ghosts but standard ghosts were the idea for this lol. I've been watching The Boys explore haunted places all day so what can I say

word count ; 783

masterlist

Proton barriers this, ghost containment that. Whatever Lars was speaking about didn't matter to you at this moment. What did matter was trying to help this new, very hostile, ghost adjust to being in the presence of a human.

The barrier quickly slips down, then right back up once you step inside the room. Glass surrounds the exterior, then Lars steps away, leaving you to do your thing. Lucky waves a few feet away, wishing you a silent good luck before getting back to work.

Trevor and Phoebe talk about with Lucky, Lars, and Podcast, testing out one of the newer machines in the lab. You face the approximate direction of the ghost, not exactly able to see it without its permission.

You carefully sit down in a chair across from the one left empty from it, bathing in the silence before speaking.

"My name's Y/n, what's yours?" You ask, not really expecting an answer. Thank God this was a standard ghost and not a ghoul. You didn't think you had the patience for that today. "It's alright if you don't want to tell me. I just want to know why you're so hostile to make you that way. I'm not here to judge, I have good intentions. I promise you that"

Step one, build trust and rapport.

Silence.

You internally nod, moving your legs in a criss-cross manner to get a little more comfortable. Apparently, the ghost didn't like this silence and chucked a ceramic vase, which sat on the coffee table between the chairs, towards you. It just barely misses you and breaks on impact with the wall behind you, causing you to flinch a bit. The dusty, broken ceramic clatters onto the floor, creating a million pieces out of the used-to-be one-piece vase.

You keep your composure, not giving the undead the attention that she wanted. You sit in silence, a clear look of 'not taking shit' on your face.

"Stupid bitch" It whispers into your ear, catching you off gaurd. You feel a shiver run down your spine as a wave of coolness washes over you.

You lightly sigh, "We can sit here and insult each other all you want. I'm just here to help" You speak, leaning back in your chair.

Over the course of the next ten or so minutes, you hear petty insult after insult, like this ghost was trying to dig into your skin and was just miserably failing. You'd gotten used to this long ago. When would they ever learn?

Suddenly, you feel a tight sensation around your throat, which you nearly panic at feeling, considering you can feel the air suddenly leaving you. You grab at your throat, choking and gasping for air, trying to get whatever hands were on you off out of pure human instinct.

This has happened a few times, where the ghosts will put hands on you. It's never escalated to immediate choking, though, which was why it worried you so much. This was a very hostile ghost. It wasn't just going to stop. It wanted to hurt.

"Get off of me!" You joke, instinctively kicking out towards the ghost, who's obviously unable to feel it. "I want to help you!"

You feel your face grow cold, and your eyes become heavy. The transparent figure now becomes slightly visible, still very much opaque as it stands in front of you, arms stretched out to squeeze down on your throat.

You hear some muffled shouting outside, then a lot of mechanical wirring and beeping. Lars and Trevor came to your rescue, the older man cautiously pulling down the proton fields while the teenage boy ran in to help you.

You don't know exactly what happened within the next few seconds, but the forceful grip on your throat was pushed away, and you were quickly ushered past the proton barrier again.

Trevor holds you up as you choke and gasp for air, already feeling your throat begin to bruise.

"Holy shit, are you okay?" He quickly asks, sitting you down on the floor.

You nod and cough some more, trying to regulate the amount of air swarming to your lungs. You pound on your chest like you were choking on an actual something, wanting the painful choking to stop.

Once it does end, Trev quickly wraps you in a hug, trying to make sure you were okay.

"I'm okay, I'm fine. Just fucking hurt" You nod

"Are you sure? Phoebe, go get them some water." He quickly speaks, turning back to Phoebe, Podcast, and Lucky, who were concerningly watching from afar. Phoebe nods and quickly jogs out to the kitchen/lunchroom area.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. I'm okay. Thank you"

[mumifyy]

Can I please request a Vox x Angel Female Reader?

Who just took Vox's Heart(Not literally ofcourse) with just a simple smile and wave

A/N: Ooo this is so cute 😭🙏 // also this is not proof-read!

————

VOX x ANGEL!F!READER

HEADCANNONS 💙

————

Originally, you had died giving away your life for your sickly mother and ended up in heaven.

Only months had passed when you were in Heaven until you were wrongly sent to hell cause someone had framed you.

You didn’t loose your halo nor wings so you had to hide them which was hard but you managed

While looking for a job in hell to actually live, you came across Vox walking down the opposite side of you

You didn’t really know who he was all you knew is that he was famous considering all of the paparazzi following him around (he’s enjoying tf outta it)

Vox’s face was stoic so you did your usual smile and wave and walked past him to be on your way

Unlike the paparazzi, Vox noticed your sweet smile and looked shocked, looking down at the paparazzi and shooing them away angrily before looking at your now disappeared figure.

He was bummed of course but brushed it off as a fan girl

Except he thought about you every once in a while

How could anybody IN HELL smile and wave????

He only saw that on earth?

That’s when he started to look for you on the cameras

Everytime he saw you in the cameras he blushed like crazy

Vox wondered why such an angelic person like you ended up in hell

So when you came into his building asking for work he instantly put you as his personal assistant

You barely worked only just getting him coffee and staying by his side

You didn’t mind working like that for a shit ton of cash coming your way

Not like you needed it badly

But you enjoyed it

You soon came to love being around him

You knew he was dangerous but you didn’t care

After a while you guys started going on outings

He paid for everything and was an absolute gentleman for you

But in the inside was gushing over how pretty you looked in your sundress

After a a couple months or so he starting to court you

Giving you flowers and more hugs then usual

And finally after a week of him doing this

He asked you out and you both had a great time

Soon also asking you to be his girlfriend

You said yes ofc (I hope so cause why you reading this if no 🤨)

————

General head cannons lols

Vox definitely flirts with you behind doors

And in public

Gives you flowers every now and then

Whenever he’s working, you’ll just come in there and give him your cookies you had just baked and give him a kiss and leave

You wouldn’t even be able to cause now your on his lap feeding him the cookies you made

He LOVES making you flustered

Definitely smacks your ass just randomly

Will sometimes just kiss you on the cheeks and gush over you

*ssmooochhhh*

“Jesus fuck babe I love you I can’t even get enough of you”

LOVES spooning you

Tells you he hates it when you dot on him but loves it secretly and you know it

Definitely sleeps with the ‘V’ logo on his screen like the DVD thingy

THISSSS ^^^

Whenever your on your period he’ll cancel most the stuff he has to do for work and comfort you the best he can

WILL invite you to some podcasts

And will show you off like

“This is my girlfriend, the best girlfriend, the most BEAUTIFUL girlfriend, and I love her.”

“and y’all can’t have her.”

“Losers”

While sometimes bury his face in your chest after a long day

Is an ass man 🙏

He’s prolly both actually Ngl..

More of an ass man though :P

Will do skincare with you (he was forced)

“Babe what’s the point of doing this when my head is a TV???”

“Oh yeah…. I forgot about that”

“Doofus”

“I’m gonna change your channel-“

You: *puts on any kind of chapstick or lip product*

Vox: “what’s the flavor?”

Before you can even answer he kisses you

Vox: “mmmm Vanilla”

He loves Vanilla and coffee

Or lavender

If you where any perfume like it he’ll just *SNNNNIIIIIIIFFFFFFF*

“Mm.. you smell” *sniffs your neck* “so good what are you wearing??”

WILL spoil tf outta you

Like YOU HAVE ENOUGH MAKEUP JESUS

Loves when you make any kind of handmade gift

It’s better than any kind of store bought gift

Like the TikTok’s of the handmade cards of just TONS of reasons why you love him

He would gush and hug you <3

[sungbeam]

𝐑𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐒𝐎𝐃𝐘 𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐍𝐘𝐌𝐎𝐔𝐒 — teaser!

nonidol!kim sunwoo x fem!reader

you never thought your humble, little podcast would ever touch somebody's soul like it did one kim sunwoo's

▷ genre, teaser warnings. s2f2l, fluff, slight angst, humor, no specific warnings for the teaser

▷ projected release date. august 6th

▷ estimated wc. 20-25k haha,,,ha

this is the fifth installment of the love in unity series! this fic can be read as a standalone, but there will be references to the main plotline and all other yns will be referred to as _!yn

a/n: dude, i literally DRAGGED myself out of writer's block for this 😭😭 so pls reblog when it comes out 😎🤡

TEASER BELOW THE CUT (APPROX. 500 WORDS)

By Saturday morning, Sunwoo had had enough of his own stubbornness and caved. He donned his headphones, grabbed his bag, and headed out the door to do some work in a cafe located on the Ave. There was one that his friend Jacob had recommended to the group awhile back, and Sunwoo hadn’t looked back since.

As he tuned into the episode, he shoved his hands into the pockets of his hoodie, shivering against the cold, winter winds. February weather was a doozy, and a hot cup of coffee or hot chocolate sounded so very sexy right this moment.

“Welcome to Songbird Station! I’m your host, DJ Dove, and you’re probably wondering what the title of this episode even means, or why I sent that weird, cryptic voice message the other night.”

The traffic light turned green, and Sunwoo began to cross the road, the coffee shop in sight. His hands were beginning to get clammy in his pockets.

“Don’t riot, but friends, it means exactly what it says—” As you exhaled out a breathy kind of laugh, Sunwoo inhaled sharply.

“Helpful,” he muttered under his breath as he pushed into the warmth of the coffee shop. He shook the cold out of his body before hopping into the line to order.

“ —I did actually land myself a date yesterday. Honestly, I’m not really much of a dater; I never really had time with it over the past years because I would, uh… well, I would rather stay in and do music, y’know?”

The corners of Sunwoo’s lips curled up into a smile. Maybe he had been nervous before about this episode’s topic of choice, but he should have had more faith in you. Rather than speak about the date the entire episode, you always managed to worm in a discussion about your passions, and that was the kind of talk that had first gotten Sunwoo hooked. There was something so attractive about hearing or witnessing a person gush about their passions and ambitions—the way their eyes lit up, their posture righted itself, how they smiled so big that one could hear it in their tone of voice.

He was happy that you went out on a date, because you deserved to meet someone who treated you as special as you were. You were a good person, and it wasn’t fair that he was being so salty about it, especially when he was too chicken to—

“Sunwoo?”

His soul practically fell out of his body. “Shit—” He swore, yanking his headphones down with eyes as wide as the earphones. He whirled around to greet you with a flushed face, red like the old Christmas decorations still hanging up from the crown moldings.

You were standing right behind him with a mildly amused look on your face, your lips pressed into a smile and eyes crinkled in absolute delight. You were similarly bundled up like he was to no doubt shield you from the cold on your way here. “Sorry I scared you! I probably should have, like, tapped your shoulder or something, huh?”

Sunwoo let out a nervous laugh and cupped the back of his neck, the skin there warm to the touch. “Oh, uh, no problem at all. I just kinda…”

“Get scared easy?” You offered.

permanent taglist: @flwoie @vatterie @seomisaho @hqrana @ja4hyvn @tinkerbell460 @kaaimins @hyunjaespresent-deobi @otterly-fey @zzoguri @floatingpluto @winterchimez @ethereal-engene @gyulfriend @polarisjisung @jaehunnyy @shakalakaboomboo @loveliestfelix @sodafy @zhaixiaowen @leaz-kpop-life @amourdsr @pxppxrminty @kqyutie @sseastar-main @kxthleen14 @fluorescentloves @mosviqu @justalildumpling @jaerisdiction

ra taglist: @oi-miya @sickvision @stealanity @magnificentjudementmoneyhands @inthesunnn @igotkpoopsss @letsnotdoanything @rreneeeeee @dajanxekiwi @jenowithjaem @moonyswolf @sleepymoon27 @fictionlover100 @hwanunjin @zlebooks @mcu-incorrect @moontyuns @elljj @ohmykwonsoonyoung @kittenyu @makgeolli-jw @midnight--rin @noosummert @yongi-lee @ivesdotcom @rockinrebelyay @blogisabelleberubeblr @ljy115 @tocupid @matchaoreocrepes

[deathofpeaceofmiiind]

high infidelity | one

Do you really wanna know where I was April 29th? Do I really have to chart the constellations in his eyes? April 29th 2022 (a/n yes I know some of these dates don’t actually add up, it’s just for story purposes!) Elliots POV Nursing really wasn’t for the faint of heart, which makes me wonder why I do it. Part of me knows it’s cause I’m a pathological people pleaser and like all the pats on the back I get. On the other hand I did land myself a great position in the NICU and helping babies get healthy and go home was such a rewarding feeling. I worked twelve hour night shifts but they went by pretty fast. It was about 6:45am and I was wrapping up some charting as my phone buzzed beside me. It was my best friend Danielle. “Hey boo! Don’t forget we got tickets for Bad Omens tonight!”

Shit, I totally forgot. I sighed deeply, catching stares from some of the parents visiting their babies. I hated texting Tyler about anything because he acted like everything was fine but sadly, I had to play the part too.   “Hey I totally spaced and forgot I’m going to a concert with Danielle tonight. My dad is going come over to help with Liam’s dinner and bedtime until you get home.” “Okay :) See you when you get home!” I rolled my eyes so hard they almost got stuck. My shift was over so I handed off report to the nurses coming on shift and headed towards my car. I lifted my mask off as the fresh air hit my face, waking me up a little bit. I took my phone out of my scrub pocket and texted Danielle back. “I can’t wait…I need a girls night.” “Come to the venue at 5 so we can have some drinks and sneak front row.” Danielle worked at the venue where Bad Omens would be playing, which worked in our favour. She always got us free tickets to every event and snuck us in early to get a good spot.  I discovered Bad Omens around the same time I met Tyler. I heard Careful What You Wish For on the radio and I was hooked. During the pandemic, I found myself watching all of Noah’s twitch streams every single day. It was his way of staying connected to the fans and to fill the void of uncertainty of this virus. Something about his voice was so soothing, seriously, he could do audiobooks or podcasts if this singing thing doesn’t work out. When I got home, Tyler was on his phone typing away, probably to whatever her name was. Marissa? Miranda? I don’t know or fucking care enough to remember. He got up from the table and tried to kiss me but I turned my head and lied about having a cold sore forming. He went to make me coffee and I suddenly felt nauseous. Every time he tried to do something nice for me my blood would boil. He wasn’t doing this because he loved me, he did it to keep his image. I took the coffee from him and turned away from his sad attempt to kiss me again. “You never want any affection from me anymore, what is going on?” Oh if only you knew. “Tyler, I spend all fucking night with babies on me and being overstimulated by people. I just want an hour where I’m not touched or talked to.” “Right.” “Sorry.” I lied, rolling my eyes. I started to walk towards the stairs so I could go up and shower but he stopped me dead in my tracks. “You know tonight will be the third time you’ve gone out with your friends this month.” He shot me at me. That was the one thing I fucking loathed about him. He was really, really good at being a dick about absolutely anything. I never bothered replying to him, I just headed to my master bathroom and turned on the shower. The water felt so good as I washed off last nights shift, which was a mixture of formula and spit up. After my shower I took my coffee into my bedroom and settled on a rerun of Friends while I waited for Liam to wake up. I heard Tyler leave and I felt like I could breathe properly. 

A few hours later there was a knock on the door. Liam and I were having a nap on the couch after we had lunch. It started to rain earlier so it ruined our plans to go to the park, instead we settled on Disney movies and snuggles. His nap time was the only time I got to sleep during the day unfortunately unless he was at daycare. I slipped out of his grip to go answer the door, it was my Dad. He greeted me with a hug and we walked into the kitchen. I threw on some coffee for us as a yawn escaped my mouth. “Thanks again for staying here until Tyler gets home.” “Anything for you pumpkin.” He replies as he grabs the creamer out of the fridge for us. “Is everything okay? You seem a little down lately.” “Uh…yeah there is something.” I said before taking a deep breath. “Tyler’s been having an affair. I haven’t told him I know, I’ve been getting everything in order with my lawyer before I serve him the papers.” “When did you find out?” “A month ago.” I laughed. I don’t know why I was laughing, but somedays this situation felt comical to me. “I’ve only told Danielle because her mom is a lawyer.” “Why didn’t you tell me?” “I was afraid you would’ve shown up here with a shot gun.” I chuckled before taking a sip of my coffee. He half smiled but I could tell he was really upset. “Dad I’m fine. I’m going to figure this out.” “I know. Just talk to me sooner next time okay? Now that your mom is gone you and Liam are all I have.” “I miss her so much.” I said as I felt that all too familiar lump in my throat anytime I thought about my mom. We sadly lost her to Covid after she came home from a girls trip in Mexico, right around the time the pandemic hit so we didn’t know the severity of it. It hit her so fast, causing her to go into cardiac arrest and passing hours later. I had days where guilt hit me hard since she was admitted to the hospital I worked at. I wasn’t allowed to care for her cause looking after family is considered a conflict of interest. It’s been so difficult without her, but it has made my bond with my Dad a lot stronger. We talked and finished our coffees before Liam ran into the kitchen after his nap. He was only fifteen months old and could already outrun us all. I picked him up and showered him with kisses before I headed upstairs to get ready for tonight. I opened a raspberry White Claw as I put Taylor Swift’s Reputation album on shuffle, it was my favourite album by her and it was my go to while I got ready. I settled on a pair of faux leather leggings, a low-cut bodysuit to show off my sternum tattoo, and black Doc Martens. I was still learning to love my postpartum body but I had to admit, the new hourglass shape I had was starting to grow on me. 

My phone buzzed that my Uber was outside and it caused my heart to flutter. Something about the idea of finally seeing these boys in real life was making me nervous, and I had no idea why. I never put them on a pedestal or thought they were gods but it’s gonna be surreal after only seeing them behind a screen. I said goodbye to my dad and Liam before heading out the door. I was so happy it was almost May, the weather was mild enough that I didn’t need a jacket anymore. “There she is!” I smiled as I walked up to Danielle who was with our other two friends, Amy and Taylor. They complimented my look and it gave me the confidence boost I desperately needed. Danielle walked up to the bar when we got in and got us a round of double gin and tonics which was just what I needed. My nerves were getting the best of me and I really needed to loosen up a little bit. After a few more drinks we headed to the barricade and waited for the concert to start. 

“So El, are you excited to see Noah?” I furrowed my brow and looked at Taylor, “Uhh…I’m excited to see the whole band.” “Obviously, but you’re obsessed with Noah. You’ve been practically drooling over him since he was streaming.” “I have not.” At this point I was blushing so hard and I couldn’t blame it on the drinks we had. I mean, she wasn’t wrong. His long hair would make me fold every time I saw him and don’t get me started on the buns he used to do where strands of his hair would perfectly fall around his face…or when he used claw clips or… Make them Suffer came onto the stage and interrupted my thoughts that were going south. The girls and I thrashed around to their setlist and right after that A Thousand Below came on followed by Dayseeker. I cried a little bit during Without me then went back to dancing and even caught a guitar pick. I was feeling better than I have in months, I felt so carefree, happy and not thinking about what my home life was like. I wish I could feel like this every night.

The lights went dark and I froze. I could feel my heartbeat in my ears as Folio walked towards his drum set and started to play to the beat of Concrete Jungle. I had tried my best to stay off TikTok to avoid spoilers but I knew Noah came out next before the rest of the band. Before I could process what was going on, he was right in front of me. He stood there all dressed in black, his leathered hand wrapped about the mic stand and he started to sing. Holy fuck. I couldn’t take my eyes off him throughout the entire show. He was captivating as he had the crowd in the palm of his hands. His voice sounded better than I could’ve imagined, he had the voice of an angel and the screams of a demon. I don’t know if I was being delusional, but I’m sure we made eye contact a few times. He sat down at the edge of the stage and serenaded the crowd with who are you? and he was right in front of us. He was so close I could see clusters of freckles on his shoulders peeking through his tattoos. When our eyes connected again I waved at him to embarrass him and it totally worked cause he fumbled his next line. He got up and walked towards the other side of the stage, not before turning back around to look at me again…he was completely flustered. “What was that?” Danielle screamed at me as the girls just stood there in disbelief. I just shrugged at them before putting my attention back on the band. The show came to an end, not before Noah and I stole more glances at each other. I tried to gain my composure, but I couldn’t. I cannot believe I just flirted with Noah Sebastian. Also the show? Fucking best concert I’ve ever been to, so good that my throat was hoarse and I’m pretty sure my toes were bleeding. “Hey guys before we go, I just need to go to my office to grab my purse. I can’t stress this enough though, no looking for the band okay?” As much as I wanted to find Noah, we nodded our heads in agreement before heading back there. I was not about to get my best friend fired from her dream job cause I wanted to flirt with some boy in a band. I really needed to pee though after holding it for almost three hours so I went on a mission to find a bathroom. I circled for a few minutes before finding a women’s bathroom. As I walked in the toilet flushed and the stall door opened. It was Noah. He put his hands up in protest as he flushed pink, “I promise I’m not a woman.” I forced an awkward laugh as I looked him up and down. He already looked like he showered and changed. The scent of his cologne lingered over to me and I could feel my face burning. He walked over to the sink to wash his hands so I took the opportunity to admire his tall stature. He was wearing black skinny jeans with a grey Chief hoodie and white Nikes. He had his sleeves rolled up to his elbows and his tattoos were exposed. My face was getting hotter the longer I watched him…I felt like a victorian man seeing a women’s ankles for the first time.

Also…Chief? One of my favourite bands? What are doing to me Noah? “Nice hoodie.” Noah smiled at the ground before looking back up to me. His eyes were so dark you could hardly see his pupils. They were the kind of eyes you could get lost in…and I definitely was. “Sorry I’ll give you some privacy.” He said gesturing towards the bathroom stall. I smiled at him as he walked past me towards the door. Noah stopped as he opened the door to turn back to me, “oh by the way, thanks for making me fuck up tonight.” “I did no such thing!” I audibly gasped. Noah shut the door and walked back over to me, “you definitely did.” “I was testing a theory that you were eye fucking me through the whole show.” I said as I crossed my arms, trying to make myself look taller but I was failing miserably. “Well, how was my eye fucking?” He replied with a deeper tone to his voice. He crossed his arms as well and got closer to me, close enough that he towered over my 5 foot frame with no problem. I was completely lost for words on account that my bladder was about to burst. “I have to pee.” “Ok fine, I’ll go.” He said, looking down at me as he grinned like a devil, “this isn’t over.”

[klance-headcanons-official]

Klance headcannons hehhehe

lance likes to watch sports but keith doesnt like to, but he still cuddles up next to him while lance is watching. they also share a bag of potato chips when they watch together.

lance plays sports and keith comes to every game. when keith watches he gets REALLY invested. Keith yells at the other players and referees (which lance finds adorable).

Lance and keith love to bake together. lance is really bad at baking and keith is relatively good. Every time lance inevitably fucks the baking up keith pulls him in for a kiss.

my new headcannon is that keith and lance both loooove hamilton. i imagine they both love singing it together. it is their go-to song while doing chores.

keith and lance have a tv in their room (across from their bed). So when they are going to bed they can watch a movie together or something, idk.

most of the time when keith and lance goes on dates they have picnics at the same place where they first met, first kissed and got married.

keith and lance have one of those bff necklaces that are a heart that u can put together. each piece has the others name. they always wear it under whatever they are wearing no matter what.

lance loves bringing keith flowers. keith always puts them in his hair (only because lance likes when he does that), short but sweet😃

lance and keith have a golden retriever named: Sunshine. sunshine is adorable 4 year old doggo.

keith and lance always do halloween together. keith likes wearing monster costumes or horror movie costumes. keith loves chocolate bars and. lance doesnt love a certain candy and comes home with things like lollipops to sour gummies

keith and lance both love going on those public playgrounds at parks. they especially love slides and flying foxes. they own a ball-pit and a trampoline because they love playgrounds that much. lance made the decision to buy the trampoline and ball-pit and is usually the one to say "LOOK ITS A PLAYGROUND! keith plssss can we go on it? pls pls pls pls?????"

every sunday keith and lance have a day called 'Lets Do Shit Day'. they basically have a road-trip and stop and random places along the way. i will be incorporating this into my schedule.

keith would like ebony black and lance would like maya blue.

Lance wears perfume, specifically very flowery type smells. keith likes the smells of his perfume. lance alternates between 4 bottles.

lance and keith both have tumblr.

the 'voltron crew' has a dnd campaign together. each of them plays a character that has completed different traits to their own.

Lance loooves wearing disney shirts. especially disney princesses shirts that are like two sizes to small.

Lance has very cute coffee mugs

Lance and keith def play two player videoganes together. they always end in yelling stuff like "YOU WERE MEANT TELL BE THERE" or "I GAVE IT TO YOU WHERE IS IT?" but it always ends in kissy kissy.

keith listens true true crime podcasts and documentaries on the tv in their bedroom. but lance HATES true crime. so whenever keith puts it on lance runs out if the room, screaming"NOOOOOO" and then keith has to chase after him.

lance loooves sandals and crocks, they are his life!!! on the other hand keith likes dark high top converses!

c o l l e c t i v e h e a d c a n o n s

[pristinekanesays]

🦋Life Is Strange: General Headcanons

🦋 just some pretty normal headcanons

🐺 GN!Reader, no specific pronouns are mentioned!

🦋 warnings: dorky stuff, bad mental health and swearing.

🎧A/N: Been super busy lately, thanks for the loads of support though guys! Gonna be writing more for Skip because nobody's writing for him and he's actually REALLY attractive??

🦋Chloe Price:

📄It's obvious that Chloe literally adores punk rock and possibly heavy metal music. She's also a HUGE PissHead fan, from listening to Skip's demo to then asking if she can hear more of his music.

🖤She doesn't wanna admit it but she definitely sees Skip as an older brother figure, they're basically family and they have such a sweet bond together.

📄Chloe and Steph are actually pretty close in Before The Storm, from how Steph asks Chloe for permission to ask Rachel out and how she's okay with Chloe venting to her if she wanted to.

🖤Her favourite songs are Nothing Wrong - Pisshead and Everything Reminds Me Of Her - Elliot Smith. (those are all literally my favourite songs as well..oops)

📄She is actually secretly a bit of nerd, like not a huge nerd but she's played Dungeons & Dragons multiple times with Steph and Mikey before and after Episode 1.

🖤Her favourite animal is the Palos Verdes Blue butterfly, since a blue butterfly is her spirit animal but she also really likes Tiger Sharks and 100% thinks she could take them in a fight.

📄She sucks ass at cooking and Joyce has tried to teach her before but she gets bored so easily.

🖤When she got her skull tattoo, she teared up and nearly started sobbing but told everyone she knows that she was totally 100% cool + badass during it.

(hella pissed about the zero skip gifs and lack of fanfiction, he's literally so attractive?? wtf)

🎤 Skip Matthews:

📄He secretly flips people off behind their back as they walk away if they've pissed him off, will totally freak out then switch to standing still and laughing awkwardly if they turn around.

🖤Listens to Taylor Swift but apart from that he's a huge punk rock + heavy metal fan.

📄Okay now, Skip is a HUGE horror game nerd. I'm talkin' Outlast, Resident Evil, Amnesia: The Dark Descent and Silent Hill.

🖤He can cook, okay?! He doesn't look like your average chef but he can definitely serve up some good fucking food.

📄Talks shit about anyone he doesn't like with you, if you guys are together of course or really good friends, he's like Victoria Chase sometimes because oh my god is he a bitch.

🖤Apart from listening to music, he'll also listen to urban legends podcasts on his way to work.

📄Skip comes from a pretty normal family in the suburbs of Denver, Colorado with two older sisters and a younger brother.

🖤(He's such a dork, I love him.) He's also pretty into fishing and is constantly taking trips for his band when he has to.

📄His favourite animal is the Polar Bear, like yeah he'd piss himself if he ever saw one in real life but he thinks they're pretty cute online instead of them being outside his door ready to beat his ass.

🍂Kate Marsh:

📄She's very religious but also very supportive. She just wants to settle down with someone, falling in love + possibly starting a family together, sitting on the porch swing in the afternoon while drinking tea/coffee side by side.

🖤Can Kate cook? Yes, she could totally make a living out of her talent but she just isn't into that for a career.

📄She never really has anything bad to say about anyone, she doesn't believe in being mean to other people because that just isn't in her blood.

🖤Kate is sort of sensitive, she won't cry if you bump into her accidentally but would tear up if you were to raise your voice/insult her in any way like any normal person. (so don't, you asshole)

📄Listens to soft, classical music sometimes but also some indie pop now and then.

🖤She's a walking angel, her personality, her looks and smarts, everything about her is just *chefs kiss*.

📄Her favourite animal is either the Florida White Rabbit or the Harp Seal, commonly known as Saddleback/Greenland Seal, Kate adores Harp Seal's so much and is always smiling while looking at photos of them.

🖤Hobbies? Playing the violin & the piano, back when she lived with her parents she was super into gardening + cooking.

📷 Max Caulfield:

📄She's always cooped up in her dorm either studying away, practicing her guitar skills or hanging out with Warren and Chloe.

🖤Max is a proud geek, alright? She's a board game, video game, everything remotely geeky fan, 100% played Dungeons & Dragons with Warren and has a few photos of the whole thing in a box under her bed titled 'W&M DND'.

📄Has overplayed Speedy Ortiz & Syd Matters so much but surprisingly never gets bored of their songs, but everyone else around her already has.

🖤Max sucks complete, utter ass at cooking and she knows it, she'll still try her best though but she can't even make toast properly without making it suffer through the toaster.

📄She can say some bad shit about people if they're assholes but she'd never say anything about someone who's innocent/someone she knows is a good person.

🖤Her spirit animal is a Doe and while she adores it completely, she also really likes Koala's and thinks that they're absolutely adorable.

🎭 Rachel Amber:

📄Rachel is that perfect, pretty and amazing popular girl that everyone knows, she struggles with her emotions pretty bad and I can see her going to Rose for help but never really her father.

🖤She wants to be an actor, right? Then that's what she's aiming for, to be in the public eye with a smile on her face and an award in her hands.

📄Multiple public bathrooms, walls and doors across arcadia bay are marked with 'RACHEL AMBER WAS HERE' or 'R.A'.

🖤Best chef in the world, clap clap! She's honestly so good at cooking and baking, has definitely thought about being a badass chef instead of a badass actor before.

📄She can sing really good, her and Chloe made a song together which was stashed away ..kept in a safe place after she went missing.

🖤She's heard about Skip from Chloe + always thought he was a cool older brother/father figure to any fucked up kid around the campus and 100% agrees with his nerdy horror game lifestyle.

📄Rachel's favourite animal is the Red Panda, she has a photo of one on a shelf somewhere and also has a Red Panda stuffed animal.

🖤Listens to punk rock and some heavy metal if she's in the mood, she loves PissHead and Firewalk.

🎬 Victoria Chase:

📄Her schedule is nearly always full, she's either bossing Vortex Club members and others about or practicing with her camera.

🖤She secretly listens to punk rock sometimes but will roll her eyes and say 'you don't look like the type' if anyone else like her takes an interest in her music taste.

📄She's got a geeky side to her from the figures in her room to the shit she's stuffed under her bed (video games, etc) so nobody else will find out about it and make fun of her.

🖤Victoria isn't the best at cooking but she isn't awful, she's told everyone in Blackwell that she's a master chef though. There's room for improvement, she needs MAJOR improvement cooking-wise.

📄She's really good at playing the piano, photography (of course) and she can make her own outfits with the right fabrics + tools.

🖤Her favourite animal is the Cheetah and she makes that very clear, even told someone 'i could claw you like a cheetah, bitch.' once before.

📄Definitely posts stuff about positive vibes on her socials while acting like a total bitch in real life.

🎮 Warren Graham:

📄He's broken his hand before during a fight, it sounds so badass but he's hella embarrassed and ashamed about it.

🖤Listens to small bands he found through his dorky websites that he's always on and always attends their gigs.

📄(Sucks dick at cooking), will totally hype his friends up about it then laugh awkwardly and act completely clueless at their grossed out reactions.

🖤He knows Skip pretty well since Warren was already in Blackwell at the same time that Skip was working there, they've exchanged opinions about games and movies way before the first game.

📄His favourite animals are Owls especially the Great Horned Owl, he saw one at night while he was hanging with Max and watched as she took a near hour taking photos of it.

🖤He hangs out on websites nearly all the time to read about the local bands, owl sightings, when the new video game he wants so bad is coming out.

📄Has probably searched up shit like 'how to get a boyfriend/girlfriend' before.

🧨 Nathan Prescott:

📄(He looks like a bent ass banana from the fruit bowl with the weird ass way he's sitting, fix your posture man.)

🖤He's 99% busy all the time, he's either attending therapy, in class, doing stuff for the Vortex Club or doing his usual..shady shit.

📄When he's texting you or his friends, the messages are barely readable because he texts like 'CU Thre, LOL, 2nte' and adds an unnecessary amounts of ?? and !!.

🖤Nathan doesn't have a specific music taste but he does sort of like listening to heavy metal.

📄Doesn't know how to cook at all, his parents never cared to teach him and why bother when you're filthy rich?!

🖤He doesn't really care for shit other than his fucked up photography or the Vortex Club, he'll maybe sketch some stuff here and there but even his sketches come out looking severly fucked up.

📄His favourite animal is the Indian Saw-Scaled Viper, he's into some scary shit because he's a scary asshole so don't be surprised. I mean, he also likes dogs..i guess.

🖤Huge horror movie fan as well like you sit him down, turn on a terrifying, traumatizing ass movie but he just rolls his eye and stays there completely unphased.

[cloudycaffeinatedcryptid]

I have been taken by the sickness again (curse you viruses!) and sleep eludes me. Brainrot does not. What do you think each of the counselors are like when they're sick?

booo viruses :( i hope you feel better soon!

i think Jacob is the most dramatic about it. if you've seen Ferris Bueller's Day Off, he's Cameron

total baby. even just for a cold. injuries, he barely notices, but gods forbid this man start to sniffle

Abi honestly prolly does what you're supposed to - she takes the day off, stays in comfy pants, drinks honey lemon tea & eats toast, takes the gross meds, a bath, & she's good by morning. couldn't be me but. yk. girlbossing

Ryan for sure just pretends it's not happening. he takes some cold n flu meds, keeps a water bottle close, and keeps having to blink spots out of his vision but he's fine! he's fine until his sister notices & chews him out bc he's always telling HER to take it easy when she's sick & "look here, mr. hypocrite, you better get in that bed or ELSE" so then he goes & lays in a dark room, listening to his podcast until he falls asleep

i think Emma prolly complains about it the entire time & spends an hour in a hot bath but i also don't think she stops working. if she can't go out, she's answering emails, keeping her social media updating, working on editing/scheduling/whatever an influencer does. picture Emma in her desk chair with atrocious hair, wrapped in a blanket, three mugs of tea, & a sinus strip just firing off emails

i see Dylan as a low-energy sick. barely awake, shuffling to the kitchen for crackers (he has a weak stomach when sick) wrapped in his comforter with his hair sticking up. sometimes he crashes on the couch, sometimes he makes it back to the bed, but it's all restless sleep, tossing & turning :( he keeps mumbling nonsense to his cat, who definitely tricks him into feeding him twice. you go schrodinger <3

Kaitlyn HATES being sick. she wakes up with a stuffy nose & a fever & she's like... "i'm gonna kill someone today & it might be myself". she has shit to do. she resists as much as she can & tries to do a bunch of things just to spite it, which usually ends up in her crashing hard & sleeping for twelve hours to recuperate. everyone knows to stay out of her way when she's stalking around, pale and clammy with a thermos at her hip, & just wait for the burnout

Nick doesn't get sick, even germs don't want this weirdo. i'm just kidding. kinda. anyway Nick one thousand percent just straight up goes comatose. dead to the world for 24 hours & then he's right as rain when he wakes up. how? no one knows. why? no one is brave enough to ask.

the love of my life, Laura, also tries to strongarm thru it but she's better about it. she takes her meds, sucks on cough drops, prolly drinks coffee to stay awake, & she's better about managing her workload. it's kind of just a background thing to her & it works great until her fever spikes high enough to be noticeable or she slips up & then Max finds out. he coaxes her to lay down on the couch while he makes them some soup & then they watch movies together until she falls asleep :,)

the other love of my life, Max, doesn't stand a chance. he coughs once & his girlfriend has a thermometer in his mouth & a mug of tea warming up. he always tries to downplay it, "honey, really, it's nothing" & it never works. he spends all day with a live-in nurse & he feels bad that she keeps doing things for him so he continuously plays the "i'm feeling better" & she lets him do it for the ten minutes before he throws up, then it's back to bed "& cut the bullshit this time, max"

[worldfusepodcast]

0. Pilot -- Transcript

Listen here: [link]

[The podcast's intro plays -- it is a simple but slightly foreboding sounding melody]

[sound of a voice recorder clicking on] AARUSH: I uh... don’t know where to start, to be honest. From the beginning-- but I don’t even know where that is, I mean– okay. Deep breaths.

[Aarush takes a breath and breathes out.]

AARUSH: This is Agent Varma, reporting on the assignment to a new entity. The entity is a sentient nullification object, capable of completely disabling all forms of magic in an area. The Bureau has assigned it the name of ‘Fuse’. The ability of this entity is to completely nullify any magic in its area, the entity is sentient and alive, blah blah blah. If possible, bring it back to the Bureau for safe containment.

[Long pause. When Aarush speaks next, he sounds conflicted.]

AARUSH: Well. It seems like this . . . ‘Fuse’ is a character that can be communicated with? An animal? A sentient object, maybe? I remember that one world map–

[The voice recorder clicks off.]

~

[The scene has changed to a small coffee shop. Background noises include indistinct chatting and cutlery being used.]

AARUSH: (breathing out and muttering.) Okay. Green tea latte, large, less ice. Green tea latte, large, less ice. Green tea–

CASHIER: Hey, what can I get ya?

AARUSH: Green tea latte, lice, less arge. I mean-- less ice, large. Sorry. Can I just get that to-go? Thank you.

[He walks and sits at a booth with a clear view of the entrance of the coffeeshop. There is a rustle as he takes out the voice recorder and clicks it on.]

AARUSH: Current location, Blooms n’ Potions, a coffee shop that doubles as a flower shop. That cashier over there didn’t look too happy, but she’s working a shift at a café, so it doesn’t seem out of the ordinary.

AARUSH: This is also one of the known haunts of Fuse. I have a machine with me that'll tell me when an anomaly walks through that door. Hopefully it comes soon and I can avoid this place for the rest of my life... 

[The machine beeps while at the same time the bell over the door jingles.]

AARUSH: (fervently, but quietly) Shit. No one fucking told me Fuse was a person! Oh, shit... Okay. Okay, okay. Focus. Ugh I need to... yes.

[He gets up from his seat and walks into line behind Quinn.]

QUINN: Iced apple and mango tea, with a chocolate strawberry waffle. To go, please.

AARUSH: Hi, are you a regular here?

QUINN: (surprised and stuttering a little) S-sorry, a-are you talking to me?

AARUSH: Yeah! I’m new here, and there’s just a lot of choices... I was wondering which might be a good one?

QUINN: (to Aarush) Hold on.

QUINN: (to the cashier) Thanks for the drinks!

QUINN: (back to Aarush) Right, you’ll want to pick either the bagels or the cheesecake, I swear on my mother that both are positively divine.

AARUSH: Mm... not the cheesecake, I’m not a fan.

QUINN: (feigning shock) Not cheesecake!? Alright then, what about strawberry shortcake?

AARUSH: (to Quinn) Yeah, shortcake is fine.

[The bell over the door jingles as a new person enters the café and walks over into the line.]

AARUSH: (to cashier) A shortcake please. Ye– Yeah no, I’ll have it here.

???: Oh, goodness, Aarush, is that you?

AARUSH: (delighted) Candy! Goodness, it has been a while!

Candy: (curious) Quinn’s here too!

QUINN: (fond) Candy.

AARUSH: You two know each other? 

CANDY: Sort of.

AARUSH: Let me guess... Intern? No, law student? Wait, no, I got it-- coffee intern.

QUINN: (laughs) God, no. I wouldn’t be caught dead in the law industry. No, I’m one of her clients. Harleyquinn Argus. A pleasure to meet you. You may call me Quinn.

AARUSH: (incredulous) No way... Quinn? Like, Detective Argus?

QUINN: (flirtatious) Oh, you've heard of me?

AARUSH: (amused) Yeah, a friend of mine is a fan of yours.

CANDY: (embarrassed laugh) Uh-heh... ha... Sorry about that, Quinn.

QUINN: (teasing) Well, well. Want my autograph later, Candy?

CANDY: It is not like that, it’s just...

QUINN: (mock-knowingly) I know, I know. I must’ve charmed you away from Indigo finally. And now you've run to Aarush over here just to complain.

CANDY: (embarrassed and annoyed) Quinn!!

QUINN: (copying her tone of voice) Candy!!

AARUSH: Alright, alright. You must see a lot of cases, chasing down criminals and whatnot.

QUINN: Not really. Most of my time is spent working for a magazine. Ever heard of ‘Hush!’? I work for them as a writer; most of their pieces are written by me.

AARUSH: No, is that a tabloid or something?

QUINN: (vaguely affronted) I’m a little offended that you’d think I’d work for a tabloid.

CANDY: As much as I love to watch you two banter, we are holding up the queue.

AARUSH: Uh, I have a table over there. Candy, care to join us, or is today an off-duty day?

CANDY: I’ll come over once my drink is done.

[Aarush and Quinn walk over and sit at the booth.]

QUINN: So, you still never told me what you actually work as. You’re a civil servant, but are you one of those black suits, or...?

AARUSH: Uhh, I work with the public...

[Quinn makes a sound of sympathy.]

AARUSH: (chuckling) It’s not that bad once you get used to the fact that most people suddenly don’t want to cooperate when they realize you’re part of the government.

QUINN: Ugh, I hear you. Every time they hear I’m a detective it's all “Ooh! Can you tell where I’ve been these past few hours? Or can you deduce my entire backstory?” I’m a detective, not Sherlock Holmes.

AARUSH: Well, can you?

QUINN: That’s not a trick I reveal on the first meeting.

AARUSH: So not a one-trick pony then?

QUINN: Master of many, actually.

CANDY: You two getting along?

AARUSH: Like a house on fire.

QUINN: Absolutely smashing.

CANDY: Well I’m not sure I like the sound of those metaphors... What’s the issue this time, Aarush?

AARUSH: Nothing much, just some new interns acting up and making use of the loopholes. And today’s a peaceful day, surprisingly. It’s been a whole four hours since I clocked in, and there hasn’t been a call for me yet.

CANDY: I keep telling you that you have to be stricter with them! They always treat you as the nice senior. One day, I tell you! One day!

AARUSH: (jokingly) But if I’m not the nice senior, then who will be? Not Jacques; they’re far too intense for that. Not you either, since you’re basically a consultant.

CANDY: Ooh, harsh. Unlike the two other members on my team, I actually have a job.

QUINN: Speaking of, there is something I want to ask you about, Candy. I’ve been working on a case recently, and I need some news about the laws on blackmail.

AARUSH: Blackmail?

QUINN: (clicks his tongue) Don’t you worry your pretty little head.

AARUSH: Is this just another thing that detectives have to research, or...?

CANDY: (laughs) You wouldn’t believe what he’s asked me about. For some reason, he keeps the same god-awful hours as me, so sometimes I’ll get a text at like, two o’clock in the morning asking for help with some obscure law that even I’m unfamiliar with. I keep telling him to read up by himself, but–

QUINN: That’s because I want an excuse to spend time with you, Candy. I need to endear myself to you so if Indigo ever tries to attack me, I can crash with you.

CANDY: Aww, Indigo wouldn’t do that. She hates you, but my partner would never stoop to murder. She’d just examine your past and find a way to convict you for life.

QUINN: (dryly) And that is so much better.

AARUSH: Jesus, Quinn! What did you do to Candy’s partner for her to hate you that much? It takes a lot for Indigo to really show that she dislikes you.

QUINN: Who knows? She’s professional, though. Never brings it up when I ask her something related to the law. But all bets are off when we stop talking shop.

[a phone notification sound chimes.]

CANDY: Well, It’s been lovely chatting, but I really have to go now. This was just a short coffee break anyway, so—

QUINN: The lawyer’s responsibilities strike again.

CANDY: I’ll send those files over to you later, Quinn. Aarush, later!

[Candy leaves and the bells over the door jingle again. Awkward silence ensues.]

QUINN: So. 

AARUSH: Uh So. Um. Anything interesting happen lately?

QUINN: (teasing) Wow. You're really not a fan of silence, are you?

AARUSH: No, no I . . . I suppose not. 

QUINN: (sighs) Anything interesting... hmm? Well, someone I know offered to read my future, and I accepted. Thinking about it now... I think you're supposed to be my Fool.

AARUSH: (disbelievingly) Excuse me?

QUINN: My future card was the Fool. I looked it up, and apparently it meant new beginnings. So I guess you're my new beginning?

AARUSH: That... is an incredibly cheesy mindset, oh my god–

QUINN: (embarrassed) Yeah I realized how it sounded when I said it out loud.

AARUSH: (cheekily) So... Is this how you usually talk your suspects into telling you things? Or am I just special?

QUINN: (covering his face with his hands) Ulgh, please. Let's stop talking now.

[The voice recorder clicks off.]

~

[The scene has changed to a small apartment. Background noises include ambient room sounds. The voice recorder clicks on.]

AARUSH: After chatting with Quinn, I really can’t connect the idea of a weapon of mass destruction with him. He just seems like a guy with a dry sense of humor. (sighs) This is wrong. We’re treating him as a thing to be used, but–

[The phone rings. Aarush lets it ring out and the call goes to voicemail.]

VOICEMAIL: At the end of your message, press 1. (beep)

AUTOMATED VOICE: Agent Varma, I know you’re there. Answer the call. 

[Aarush walks and picks up his phone. He redials the number.]

AARUSH: Hello?

???: (the voice is clearly distorted and disguised) Mr. Varma, are you ready for the consequences that this will bring upon Ochens?

AARUSH: Who are you? This is a private line.

DEUCE: I am Deuce. I represent the Machine. (chuckles) I am also someone who is heavily invested in Quinn’s wellbeing. I will not tell you to stop your current path. But I will ask you this: If you had to choose between the world and Quinn, what is your choice?

AARUSH: You know of his powers, don’t you? The ‘Fuse’–

DEUCE: (sharply) He is more than his powers. Do not reduce him to a void.

AARUSH: (apologetic) Sorry.

DEUCE: But you are correct. Quinn is an essential cog in Ochens. He is the fuse, magic is the current, and I am Ochens’s engineer.

AARUSH: Is Quinn... important?

DEUCE: Beyond anything you could ever fathom. If he dies, Ochens dies with him. His existence itself is proof that the world exists.

AARUSH: Is that a part of his powers?

DEUCE: It's not a power. Quinn sees the world the way it wants to be seen.

AARUSH: (slightly strained) Cool. Great. So now you're telling me that the– what that the world is sentient? Self-aware? What, like it knows we’re listening?

DEUCE: Do you think otherwise?

AARUSH: (huffs disbelievingly) Come on.

DEUCE: You don’t have to believe me. But you must trust me. Your job to watch over Quinn is extremely important. You must listen to yourself, Aarush. Your ideals, your goals... (chuckles) You must remember yourself.

[The call ends, and the dial tone beeps.]

AARUSH: (sighs) End of report.

[voice recorder clicks off.]

[podcast outro music plays under the credits.]

Credits

This was World Fuse. It written by Lupin and Audio edited by Neutron, Ila Alexei, and Eli Schwarz.

The gorgeous album art is by Ila Alexei.

You've heard the lovely voices of Neutron as Aarush Varma, Ila Alexei as Harleyquinn Argus, Bailey Mertz-Symchyck as Candy, Eli Schwarz as Deuce, and Alexander Wolfe as additional voices.

Thank you so much for listening.

[somanyfuckedupiftruebooks]

TMAGP1

oh man this music is fucking wild!! was that a big deep laugh? :D this is the happiest i have felt in months

it's literally like 'dun dun DUN' this is awesome

Audio sounds like it's coming from inside da computer. That's fun.

NO SUCH THING AS BONES (i knew big milk wasn't to be trusted)

fuck me everyone is so british. I forgot that listening to this podcast means being subjected to a thousand different accents that all sound like they come from Narnia.

Ugggh six in the morning goodbye party? This workplace is already worse than the Institute.

Colin's already fucking desperate to escape <3 there's always one. Good luck buddy.

There's too many voices to keep track of! I'm already getting Alice and Gwen confused.

They're going to the pub?? Didn't they just say it was six in the morning? Aren't they at work?

YOOO I WAS RIGHT WE ARE IN DA COMPUTER. Haha it turn itself on like a tape recorder. 💅 girlboss behaviour.

Oh I wonder why they can't do their paperwork online?? Probably not because of spooky reasons.

Wow a personal computer! High tech. Freddie lives inside. :D

Woah wait wtf?? Freddie is spyware??

Yeah Sam what about GDPR? Shut up and read this private email that an ancient computer program no one understands somehow found and stole for us.

Um?? Do they have a big alphabetised folder of Fucked Shit The Entities Do???

So many numbers are happening so quickly. Good luck transcribers/wiki editors.

Oh hang on 'All night every night', they work nights!! That's why the party was first thing in the morning and they all went to the pub afterward!! I'm so good at listening to podcasts.

MARTI N VOICE MATRIN VIOCE WMATIN VOICE!!! HE LIVE IN DA COMPUTER!!

Started about a year ago 👀

Haha gotta listen while he reads the email. This is normal :)

LOL they just ignore it and get coffee. Big mood, that's exactly what I would do if I was at work and my computer was fucking around.

NORRIS CHESTER AND AUGUSTUS

That's not their names :)

Also the stupidest fucking names ever. Alice rules.

Martin voice 🥰🥺😭🥰🥺😭🥰😭🥺 Martin my beloved. I hope he's okay inside da computer. Wonder if Colin smashing it with a hammer would crack him outta there??

Oh no my love for Martin made me forget that the horrors are back.

Hmm his voice is getting less computer and more Martin? Good thing??

Ugh why do we always have to start with Stranger statements? I hate the Stranger. Also Sam was wrong this is definitely dolls comma human skin not dolls comma watching.

Girl there is something in your garden gtfo of there.

Hurray we survived our first horror!! H definitely didn't.

Gwen is right this isn't zombies. Also three pages of subclassification for zombies? The archives couldn't even figure out how to put their dates in the right order.

Love how few fucks Alice gives. This job doesn't matter!! Welcome to the team!!

Ooooh Gwen's is trouble...

Oh shit she's gunning for the boss's job! Second girlboss moment of the episode!

Lol get pranked Sam. Alice set you the fuck up.

Sounds like a webcam is watching them?

Colin is my favourite character so far.

Sounds like Lena's deliberately hiring people who do a shit job (and Gwen's mad about it). Wonder what Lena's up to.

Tragic backstory time already? (Nope, false alarm)

Who needs sleep when you can have creepy monotomous data entry?

JON VOICE JON VOIEC JON CVOICE !!! 🥰🥺😭🥺🥰😭🥰😭😭 (i missed him)

Magnus Institute ruins you say???

'Anyone know what the deal is with the Magnus Institute?' Nope, never heard of it.

Oh I'm loving the new format of statements. Really scratches that 'found footage' itch.

For some unknown reason, I've been feeling really paranoid ever since escaping this evil eye building (that reminds me of an old asylum) full of strange shit that I couldn't take photos of.

CLEARLY WHAT USED TO BE A MASSIVE LIBRARY OR ARCHIVE IN THE BASEMENT

All the paper is gone? Graham Folger has been here.

Oh the removed image and then hearing the comments about it is so good!! Jonny's done it again lol. This is why I love found footage as a horror device.

Hmmm sounds like we're at the pub now. And we got that dial up noise? What are we listening from right now?

YO SAM AND ALICE EXES

It's good to establish right from the beginning that one of our protagonists is a noodle-armed weakling. The fandom would have done that work on our own I'm sure, but having canon backup is always gratifying.

Uh oh Colin's losing his mind.

Ominous music time!!!

THE MAGNUS PROTOCOL IS A PODCAST MOTHERFUCKERS.