#the point is that whatever you do youll never be good enough!!

[quartergremlin]

i cant even comprehend this level of stupidity/queerphobia anymore. In what world does "why even bother transitioning if you're going to do woman stuff" make sense.

transcript:

Coworker: Okay so. You know what I don't get?

Quarter: mm.

C: Trans men who get married to men? and have kids? What's even the point?

Q (thinking): girl I know you know. like. the general concept of gay people.

[jimpagne]

the worst thing v gets is being called a leech and attention seeker which is what tkkers had been calling jm FOR YEARS. while disliking v because of shippers is petty it’s incredibly interesting how many jikookers had been defending v in the last few weeks while it’s complete silence within tkkers, youll never catch any of them defend jm

That's because a lot of Jikookers don't need to falsify reality in order to represent a certain agenda. Jikookers can be the bigger person if they need to be.

As someone who is truthfully OT7, I don't sit here hoping that hate trains form around someone that I see to be a "threat" to my ship. If I'm being completely honest, I think trying to consume Are You Sure?! from purely a shipping point of view is entirely counterproductive and not a good way to enjoy content. I think it's fun to gush over certain moments, but if you're only parked outside Disney+ or whatever streaming you're allegedly pirating it from just to see your ship in action... you're opening yourself to form biases and bitter feelings toward things that might not be directly encompassed within your ship's boundaries.

This is why I made a call out post whenever certain jikookers resorted to bullying Taehyung whenever they saw that he was going to be a guest on the show. Though I already hear people coming, saying "Oh, but taekookers are bullying Jimin to hell and back, so why can't we?"

Well maybe you shouldn't because it shows that you have the representative IQ of a toad. So let me get this straight, people who are NOT Taehyung bully Jimin... your first course of action is to... bully Taehyung? I think reciprocal hate is incredibly stupid and unwarranted. If I'm going to shit on the behavior of taekookers, guess who I'm gonna take it out on? That's right, I'm going to take it out on taekookers -- not Kim Taehyung.

Taehyung is currently serving in the military, so I doubt he's logging onto Twitter or Tumblr or whatever to say nasty things about his BEST FRIEND. I think people tend to forget that Jimin and Taehyung are tied at the hip and have an entire song where they wax poetry about how much they care about one another...

Anyways.

A lot of Taekookers live in another facet of reality, so in order to make half of their agenda true, Jungkook has to dislike Jimin, the company has to be forcing their fanservice, Jungkook's mother had to have been sent a script beforehand to ask about Jimin, Taehyung was lying about only seeing the trip details a few days before departure, Jungkook was holding Taehyung's waist in this screenshot (but don't look at the footage where it shows otherwise!), Jungkook only acts "cold" (if being humorously bratty is considered cold) toward him in certain scenes because the producers want Jikook to appear more real, HYBE has some joint contract with the South Korean military to put Jimin and Jungkook together in order to hide the real gay couple that is Taekook--

The more you dive into their rhetoric, the less it makes sense. Taekookers also argue with LITERAL KOREAN PEOPLE about translations in the show. Also it's super funny to see them shift from the narrative that she show is scripted to suddenly saying -- no, it's not scripted, to then saying this part is scripted, to then saying, no the whole thing is scripted again, to then saying, actually at this time stamp they went off the script and--

Fucking crazy.

I think what I noticed the most about a lot of taekooker's rhetoric is that in order for something to be true, they need to create a lie or insult the intelligence of both Taehyung and Jungkook.

So you're telling me that two grown men have to lie about who they're with and what they're doing in order to make your ship real? You're telling me that Jungkook and Taehyung are not intelligent enough to negotiate their contracts or what type of "fanservice" they have to engage with on the regular? You're telling me that Jungkook lied about who he saw on his birthday in order to protect Taehyung? You're telling me that after ten years of being in the same group, Jungkook is actually uncomfortable with Jimin but still decided to get a matching tattoo with him and all the other members? You're telling me that the homophobic country of South Korea is willing to hide a gay couple by endorsing a manufactured gay couple? In the military? Where gay people are famously treated well?

That's sarcasm, for anyone who might lack reading comprehension.

Taekookers are the literal embodiment of that one post where the person is like "source(s): trust me bro" because half of what they spit out makes no fucking sense and is actually insulting to Taehyung and Jungkook. Like y'all constantly insult their intelligence and their free will and make it seem like they're trapped behind bars and don't have enough money or power to negotiate what THEY want. I've even seen certain taekookers become Jungkook antis after Are You Sure?! came out because they think he's being mean to or bullying Taehyung.

God, the lights are on but nobody is home.

[f1nalboys]

OMG. I love the tod headcannons. Would you ever do ian sleepover headcannons?

HELLOOOO ANON sorry this has taken so long, i do apologize and i hope its fun to read!!!!

WORD COUNT: 916

WARNINGS: not proofread, weed mention, ians a perv on occassion, mostly fluff

ok number one i need a sleepover with this guy NOWWWWWW

ian refuses to call it a sleepover. you two are hanging out, chilling, that’s all. if he spends the night then thats just what happens, it totally wasn't his end goal

i truly believe ian sleeps better in anyone elses bed than he does his own not for any particular reason he just loves the feeling of being on vacation and being in a different bed counts to him fr

he comes over with nothing. like deadass the clothes on his back and maybe some weed IF UR LUCKY 

he also tends to show up ‘just for a bit’ and makes a big show about sighing at the time and being like man…. i wish i didn’t have to leave but its almost time for bed……..

like girl just ask to sleep over who cares

anyways he really hates Planned Sleepover Activities

no pillow fights, no truth or dare, no spin the bottle (this can and has been done before with him, he just has to be in the mood,) no bloody mary, etc

now, of course, if he really really really loves you, he’ll do all those things and more. he is going to COMPLAIN though. like, to the point where it’s almost unenjoyable. 

he does love a good spa day though…. you ask him to put on a fuzzy robe so you can put a face mask and cucumbers on him and he’s jumping for joy lowkey

and he lets you paint his nails and stuff and he doesnt care if its messy or bumpy or if you don’t put a top coat on it, he just loves that youre doing it for ihm

ANDDDD its the quietest he’ll be. youll look up at his face and hes staring down at you with such a sickeningly sweet love sick grin that its almost enough to make you barf and he won't say a single word until youre done

and even then he’ll just go “its great baby, thank you.” heheh

like 3 hours later he’ll go “you got a lot of nail polish on my skin, god damn.” and you’ll look over and hes very methodically picking it off of his skin lol

anyways. when hes over he just wants to chill genuinely 

ian is interested in getting chinese food or pizza, getting super fucking high, and having movies or music in the background while you guys talk

and he really only does one on one sleepovers, siblings or family excluded. if you invited another friend to sleepover at the same time hes gonna be in the corner like ugh…..sigh……eyeroll…..ugh…..what no im fine its whatever……sigh…..

ian is super handsy as is but when he gets tired hes worse

you’ll know hes ready for you two to go to sleep when hes suddenly attached to your back, arms around your waist and head in your shoulder

ian loves sleepovers that are simply for you two to get shit done

like ian has to rework an art piece? hes coming over and youre finally gonna clean your room.

he tries to sleep in his regular clothes all the time (he does it at home i fear to say) so if youre against that you HAVE to have some spare clothes for him. or let him sleep in his underwear but then he’s gonna get that dumb stupid sexy grin on his face and ask if youre trying to get him naked 

which like yes ian i am but not like that….yet

waking up with ian is great if you get up before him because hes all cuddly and sweet and murmuring in his sleep and you can just stare and admire him

if he gets up first hes waking you up but hes also fucking with you

he shakes you awake and is like BABE YOU OVERSLEPT FOR XYZ!!!!! and you jump out of bed and hes like haha got you just kidding

or he draws on your face or arms if youre a heavy sleeper and he can get away with it

AND he takes photos of you sleeping all the time on his shitty little flip phone and he never tells you about it

until like weeks later when youre hanging with him in the car eating food and he laughs and turns his phone around to show you a picture of you slumped over, mouth open, drooling.

but hes a menace

hes like well im up so i need you up to????

like god bless erin for dealing with him 

but you dont have to worry about it much, he normally sleeps in if hes able to but depending on when he went to bed, he could get up before you

and good luck trying to go back to sleep because hes hitting you with pillows and squashing you and talking until you just roll your eyes and sit up

and then hed smile and go omgggg good morning sleepyhead LIKE SHUT UP

overall, ian is a fun guy to have a sleepover with if you just want to chill, not if you want to do activities if that makes sense

but hes never going to ASK to spend the night (unless youre in the car with him about to get dropped off and hes kissing you and get handsy and THEN he’ll be like babe…. cant i just hang out :((( like sigh…. of course you can bae

[show-us-kaidenshenandoah]

one of the worst things about re-runs on cable is that sometimes youll see a random episode that you remember, decide "eh, sure" to watching, and one of the details you were ignorant to before now (but not anymore) now haS A SEVERELY DIFFERENT MEANING to the point it makes you do a spit-take

anyway. feel free to share your recent "eYO WHAT" moment of At Least I Know Now; I May Be Shocked But I Cannot Blame Myself For What I Did Not Know That I Didn't Know Before regarding re-watching a piece of media that had some small or big pillar within your life (cable or not, tv show or not). would love to know other people's so i feel less inattentive for having entirely forgotten this or forgot to process this or whatever the most apt term is

i'll go first:

my parents have been watching various cop-shows of the Not-Comedic variety (meaning no "Psych" and no "Brooklyn-99", boo), and the tangential (fireman-shows, paramedics, forensics, etc) and/or their spin-offs, since i was like... 7 years old at the youngest? before i was in middle-school at any rate

and for a long fucking time (for good reason, look how many fucking episodes there are), their favorite go-to was "NCIS". the original one with Gibbs, not one of the spin-offs

and bc i had Muslim friends online, a few in my middle and high school classes, and a few also irl outside of school (who were also kind enough to teach me, which they didn't have to do; but i was very privileged that they did), i was at least moderately aware this show had a ton of loudly rampant anti-Muslim/anti-Middle East/etc propaganda. that's who The Big Bad tended to be. which is frustrating. but it was way harder for it to brainwash me as id inwardly groan that "i dont know enough about this topic to be an expert in any way, but i do know this show is so Islamophobic that i wouldn't be surprised if they made this vitriol up". so i do want to mention that is a very huge Problem Area here

so i knew this huge problem existed in the show. i knew i had blind-spots. but i thought i had a good general awareness of all the propaganda in "NCIS"

...i did not. otherwise, i wouldn't have an "i'll go first" to go first with

bc i always remembered that Ziva David was Jewish, but i never memorized nor before had the context to process what it meant that she was an Israeli Jewish person

bc, since the late 1800s to the early 1900s, Israel has been trying to colonize Palestine and actively commit genocide to the indigenous inhabitants of the lands that were once Palestine, killing Palestinians of all faiths, including Jewish and Muslim Palestinians. so. that detail about Ziva does inform her character, the narrative's message, and makes it all the more obvious what kind of propaganda this show is. bc. uh. i knew i should never trust "NCIS" beforehand bc of its Islamophobic propaganda. did not realize a sizable chunk of that was also in a venn-diagram style overlap with Zionism. wow. okay

and furthermore!! apparently! even though it is 2024!!! and both protestors and allies alike are doing their best to keep Palestine in the news as a ton of people try to fund more Palestinian families to get out of danger!! — it's JUST been announced the networks newest installment within the "NCIS" Connected Universes will be the Paramount+ exclusive spin-off "NCIS: Tony & Ziva". and i am absolutely not going to tell my parents about said annoucement bc wtf

(which anybody who wants to maybe Reblog/Reply/send an Ask to say "that's so mean of you to do your parents": shut the fuck up. alright? focus up. talk shit in meaningful ways instead, like to help donate to Palestinian families in need. okay? okay.)

anyway

(1) uh, sure, feel free to eventually boycott "NCIS: Tony & Ziva" when it comes out, but this show won't be dropping for a while and a half. sO PAY MORE ATTENTION TO THE MORE-PRESSING AND TIME-SENSITIVE THINGS BELOW PLS AND THANKS 🤗💗💕

and (2) feel free to reblog and potentially share your own "eYO WHAT" Didn't Know Back Then What I Didn't Know re-watch stories to better help engage with this post through the tumblr algorithim (all the better if youre funnier than me (shouldnt be hard lol) tho a comedic story isn't a necessity for engaging) and get these Palestinian families Go-Fund-Me accounts in front of people who can afford to donate

and (3)!! i looked for the most recent Go Fund Me link-collection post ive reblogged to have copied down into this post (as someone whose disabilities and lack of wealth means the best i can consistently do is reblog here/repost on tiktok, spread awareness in my irl life, and so on. i irregularly use social media due to how drained my disability + doctor appts make me. i am doing this purely to see if it can help, i do not want attention or to be used as a resource when i cannot reliably be one with my current health situation. instead of me, please go follow (and donate to!!) these families and follow this user to keep the cycle of information and aid going!!)

this vetted collection was originally posted here, by @seance

@anqer - From War to Education: Abdelrahman Resilient Journey

@fatma93gaza - Support Fatima's Family in Gaza After Heartbreaking Tragedy

@emanfamily - Donate to help my family live in peace

@basel-19951995 - Help me evacuate my family and rebuild a new start

@ayaalanqarsblog - Save Gaza: A Brighter Future for Aya and Her Family

@ashraf-family2 - Hope for Gaza: Support Ashraf's Family Rebuild Their Lives

under the read-more is me just Knowing The Internet Can Be Toxic and having further context (about my family + "NCIS") can help curb a few people somewhat. at least it gives me "the autistic sense of peace knowing i have fully explained myself"(TM) so i can more clearly go "that's an unproductive response of pure Bad Faith. blocked". however, i didn't want this post to be longer than it is so as itd have a better chance at ✨️engagement✨️ and $$$ if its not a # Long Post

here's my list of things that clarify some context of this post, but overall dont matter. and also adding any of them Above The Read More would make people less likely to interact and reblog than i already assume people will (bc i dont got a lot of followers lmao c'est la vie, long as i did my best to help), as people either hesitate to reblog or dont reblog Long Posts. so these were all originally a part of the Above The Read More narrative before i thought it overall better to move them down here since i already did not wanna delete them entirely

sorry for any misspellings, im dyslexic and am writing this casually from my phone

like it wasn't until the past 5 or 6 years that my parents got sick of re-watching the "NCIS" re-runs on cable? and i'm 27 as of writing this. so minus 6 years, and that means from sometime before i was in middle school up until i was 21, this was a regular and favorited re-watched show they'd tune in for new episodes of and re-runs of whenever they stumbled on it. and, due to said 5 or 6 years, it's recently accumulated to have been enough time where, if "NCIS" is on now, they aren't AS sick of it anymore? as in, it's not their #1 favorite anymore still, but they will watch it with mild apathy/contentment; especially if it's an episode they still remember the plotline of VS a new episode that they dont. but, overall, even when id be in the room but on my phone or in the next room over and doing my hw: this show was a consistent pillar of my life growing up, at least in the background if not further up close

and, bc i know certain irrational parts of the internet will get mad i ever even dared passively absorb this show: dont be mad at ME bc "NCIS" had funding and viewership, im not a network head nor did i make the choice to have Ziva be Israeli. hell, i couldn't control the TV and refuse to give them viewership; i was a minor, my mom and dad were in charge, and my dad especially let me know him wanting to watch a show mattered more than me not wanting to watch it. he wouldnt change the channel on his favorite show. and though there were times i was invested, and i do have good memories here and there with my parents watching these various shows on/off, i knew also to question every villain they had and do my best to unpack/analyze whatever congrument narrative that was in their show that alligned with a thought i had about Islam as a monolith that i couldn't source back to my Muslim friends or learning about Islam on my own time. im ultimately glad i learned so much from it in that way. and i think that is the better way to go-- to watch whatever, but unpack as needed when you realize your biases-- rather than proverbially "burn the books" of whatever media you dislike and/or deem problematic. which this show is definitely problematic. but im still glad i learned from it in the ways that i have, and that i can use my history with the show to trick the algorithm maybe and get these families some additional attention

my chronic memory loss symptom means i am naturally predisposed to not be able to consistently remember certain things, especially details about people that didn't have emotional weight to me or that didn't come up too often, sometimes including things like a friend's ancestry or ethnicity. but, uh, i guess either none of my past Muslim friends were Palestinian?? or else any that were? they did not have the vocabulary or bandwidth to explain Palestine's fraught history of being oppressed by Israel to me (fair enough)?? i know one of my current Muslim friends definitely is Palestinian, but we met when i was 23 or a bit older (aka: after my parents were already sick of "NCIS", so the show and Ziva David being Israeli didnt come up; we did not know each other during the height of me having Muslim friends in middle and high school kindly helping teach me a few things)

personally, all my Jewish friends are from high school or before. and apparently, i don't have their social media or else they maybe deleted/renamed their accounts bc im not finding them in my Following lists. so i have no idea if any were from Isn'tReal. but i assume not, out of wishful thinking if nothing else. friendly reminder that antisemitism isn't cool, period; and also that calling out Zionism =/= antisemitism

alright then. dont mind me, im just gonna hc that one of my favorite "NCIS" characters is now a Palestinian Jewish person out of spite now. bc that's fucked up, that they made her Israeli on top of all this Islamophobia. and Palestinian people of all faiths are being impacted by Israel, yes, but there absolutely is Islamophobia involved in this genocide. so, like, excuse me, im just gonna casually re-write her in my head; cognitive dissonance is a helluva drug bc, like, you know the thing you like is bad but, like, what if you imagine if it was good lmao rip

unrelated tangent, if anybody was curious: "Bones" has been my stand-out favorite of my parents' rotation. i related to Dr Brennan's autism-coding, the show had good dialog and was largely sincere despite its writers' early-2000s-caused questionable creative-decisions, i find its obvious absurdity funny (wh... why would a museuem ever agree to this, they do FBI crime-work next to dinosaur skeletons, this setting is ridiculous lmao), and it has been the closest to comedy my parents would watch. it's a fun time, with some must-skip episodes, yeah, but it's fun. in my free time, i have also watched "Psych" and "Brooklyn-99" though, and i like them! im not a big fan of cop-shows and its tangential forms regardless though. but yeah, i do not recommend "NCIS". it wore me down over the years, but i do not recommend it. for obvious reasons i have now already fully explained lol

the next bullet point below is the original full form of what i said about "the difference between a protestor versus an ally" before editing my rambling down so i didnt detrack from the post's actual point:

↳ and both protestors and allies alike ("allies" being people who cannot protest for disability and/or safety reasons, but who do spread pro-Palestine news how/when they can and donate if/when it is possible for their wallets) are doing their best to keep Palestine in the news as a ton of people try to fund more Palestinian families to get out of danger!! [edit: i would be unsurprised if people disagreed with me that what i call "allies" is different than a "protestor". but i am keeping the term literal at the moment to give credit where credit is due for these organizers, influencers doing content and outreach to sponsor a family or multiple families, sit-out camp and walking-parade and curbside-standing protestors, and so on and so forth. however, my health and disability makes me specifically only capable of "ally" status; so maybe i am wrong and am doing some form of self-deprecation. i personally doubt it; i think im still right to internally have a dividing line made so literal like this. but i am open to the idea if nothing else. feel free to agree to disagree with my diction, i guess lol]

the next bullet point below is the original full form of what i said about anyone saying "that's so mean of you to do to your parents" before editing my rambling down so i didnt detrack from the post's actual point:

↳ (which anybody who wants to maybe Reblog/Reply/send an Ask to say "that's so mean of you to do your parents": shut the fuck up. okay? my parents don't have an interest in learning how to work streaming services anyway, it's fine. and my mom supports Palestine, so what i said is honestly hyperbole as she'd be down for our household to mostly-intentionally boycott the spin-off anyway. bc, yeah, its SO easily done for us since we dont have any streaming subscriptions, much less Paramount+ specifically. and my dad's early dementia makes his general stance unpredictable, bc it depends what he remembers is happening in the news/in politics, much less in Palestine specifically; he'll be "meh. okay" about being kept out of the loop. okay? focus up. talk shit in meaningful ways instead, like to help donate to Palestinian families in need. okay? okay.)

the next bullet point below is the original full form of what i said about "feel free to eventually boycott 'NCIS: Tony & Ziva' when it comes out" before editing my rambling down so i didnt detrack from the post's actual point:

↳ uh, sure, feel free to eventually boycott "NCIS: Tony & Ziva" when it comes out, since assumedly the networks are not going to ret-con that Ziva David is an Israeli Jewish person (which. her actress' wiki says she herself is neither Israeli or Jewish anyway, so literally no reason for anybody there to dig their heels in about this detail) and there's no reason for us to have ever had, much less have even more Zionism (+ likely still Islamaphobic) propaganda added to our current media landscape. but this show won't be dropping for a while and a half, sO PAY MORE ATTENTION TO THE MORE-PRESSING AND TIME-SENSITIVE [LINKS ABOVE THE READ MORE] PLS AND THANKS 🤗💗💕

the next bullet point below is the original full form of what i said about "here is why i am not a good person to follow to help you keep an eye on Palestine; go follow the families and the person who organized these links instead" before editing my rambling down so i didnt detrack from the post's actual point:

↳ (as someone whose disabilities and lack of wealth means the best i can consistently do is reblog here/repost on tiktok, spread awareness in my irl life, and so on. i irregularly use social media due to how drained i get. i do not have the luxury of energy, esp with all my diagnostic journey medical appointments further tiring me out, to make original posts on a regular basis like Palestinian families deserve and need from their regular backers. i thought of this post idea and worked on it on/off with the bits of energy i have had; i am doing this purely to see if it can help, i do not want attention or to be used as a resource when i cannot reliably be one with my current health situation. instead of me, please go follow these families and this user to keep the cycle going)

[burgersnacksformax]

Completely self-indulgent headcanons of soft domestic Sugimoto Saichi

I was just thinking "i think he'd be really nice and warm to cuddle" and then i ended up coming up w an entire list of headcanons so take them

Also gender neutral reader

Sugimoto would let you borrow his clothes anytime. Literally just ask.

He's confused about it the first time like "are all your clothes dirty or something ?"

but if you ask enough it just becomes routine where he offers his coat and scarf to you when he's not wearing it

And if you keep saying yes each time, he just tosses his coat and scarf at you every time he changes. Like absentmindedly

Literally you'd be doing your own thing and you'd get pelted by it

Youre not complaining though

He starts to find your scent comforting too, but he cant borrow your clothes because they absolutely will not fit him as comfortably as they fit you, but he still likes to hold your sweater / jacket when youre not around

Also whenever you cook he'll always savour it, even if you don't think it's that good it'll still always put a smile on his face

But if anything he actually prefers to cook with you

He tries to learn all your favourite dishes and wants to make them with you

And of course you will end up eating his cooking too

Something something food tastes better when you share it with your loved ones

Sometimes when he cooks for / with you, you have no clue what youre about to put in your mouth

Cause he eventually started to mix recipes he learned from Asirpa with other recipes from around japan, and then started dabbling in cuisine across the world.

Half the time you dont even know what it is, just that it tastes good

Also if you fall asleep anywhere thats not a bed you will always ALWAYS without fail wake up on a bed comfortably under a blanket.

And if you have any favourite stuffed animals, guess what you'll be waking up to beside you

Sugimoto never brings it up, he's always just like "you seemed tired, did you rest well ?" as if you magically teleported to the bed yourself

ALSO SUGIMOTO SNUGGLE BUDDY !

he is very warm, after all the time he's spent in Hokkaido winters he's like a personal heater. Youll never be cold again

and if somehow youre still cold, he'll cuddle you under a blanket till youve warmed up.

But sometimes he gets so cozy holding you close that he just. Falls asleep.

But the heater (sugimoto) is getting too warm.

But he looks so comfortable and you wouldnt wanna move and wake him up, would you ?

So you just awkwardly kick the blanket off of you in hopes that youll cool down a little

This is a routine occurrence

Also sometimes he starfishes when he sleeps but literally you do not care even if it takes up the whole bed because it means ! Time for him to be a pillow !

he's always very careful not to cross your boundaries, to the point where you have to remind him that he doesnt have to be so tense.

He just wants to make sure youre always comfortable around him

he will always ALWAYS stand up for you

Whether he's standing up against a person or proving your own bad thoughts wrong

He really cares about you and wants to do anything in his power to make sure you're alright

I cannot stress enough how selfless this man is. Like it worries you sometimes, he'll always check in on you and make sure youre comfortable and fed and alright, and you always ask the same questions in return

And if hes ever not taking proper care of himself ? You always make sure to remind and help him with that

Sometimes he causally says a really concerning thing that happened in the past and you have to ask if he's okay

He's always really grateful of how much you care about him

Sugimoto doesnt always know what to say when you vent to him, but he's a good listener and will do whatever you ask to help you feel better

whether its cradling you in his arms, getting you tissues or water, or taking you somewhere quiet. he really cares and just wants to help

he'll always comfort you regarding your fears, whether its something big like fear of death or something smaller like a fear of bugs

he'll always try and support you when something scares or upsets you

and yes if you are socially anxious he will order things for you dont worry

Also, sometimes you wake up in the middle of the night to him twitching or talking in his sleep

You grew quite accustomed to being able to tell if its a normal dream or a nightmare

But if he's having a nightmare, youd know to wake him up, and youd always comfort and hold him till he manages to fall asleep again

Also sometimes you would cup his cheeks in your palms and admire him, but it took you by surprise the first time he did it back !

He found your flustered reaction cute and proceeded to continue doing it sometimes

Nose kisses ! Forehead kisses ! Cheek kisses !

Oh and he absolutely cannot help you with your homework but he provides moral support and is consistently in awe by how much you know, even if you dont feel like your knowledge is anything special

You also buy him hair conditioner.

Now his hair is soft and smells good.

He does not understand why youre obsessed with his hair after the conditioner until he makes you try it and now you are both obsessed with each others hair. Good work

That's all I have for now, huge props to my friend for letting me spam him with these ideas. If you're reading this, I hope you have a comfortable day and remember to relax your body if there's any stiffness

Take care <3

[groupieculture]

roommate drama someone please tell me who is wrong because idk what to do

she has never been good at cleaning up or whatever for four months she has lived there and it was fine its just that since christmas she hasnt cleaned up once and it was her turn again last weekend and she didnt clean up AGAIN mind you okay, she wasnt very present at home this month, but she was still here at least 4 days/week and we had an agreement that we are going to do it once a week but i was like okay ill just clean up because hwatever maybe shes having a rough time but this was it, she didnt clean up at the weekend, i gave her a monday, and now waited til 8 oclock to do it because she came back from her work at like 6 so thats plenty of time to start at least and i said fuck it and cleaned up (it takes like 30 minutes), so i just texted her when you will have a chance let me know i whave something to talk about w u ok so she came to the kitchen i said lets sit down i just want to talk abt some stuff. she came over pissed off and im like 'ok so do you think that we are not cleaning our space enough because i think we can do better and i have some ideas' basically from then on she started talking over me w her arms crossed and she said 'she said so now youre blaming me or something??? ? MIND YOU I WAS PLANNING TO CLEAN TODAY BUT I HEARD YOU STARTED CLEANJNG SO' i said 'im not blaming you i want to have a conversation with you' and my tone is very friendly because i did not want to blame her or anything and the conversation just started to be intense for no reason she said 'im not here all the time i just came back '( lie) i said 'i dont know when youre here or not im not here always too i noticed that were missing some extra effort so i want to talk about it' she started raising her voice at me all pissed off and she said well i dont have time to do this i work etc etc. i said i work, this is basic shit, i have to admin the apartment, deal with the rent, with the utilities, deal with everything, you dont want to pay for the tv thats fine, but then youll have to pay me to be your maid' and then shes like 'no one asked you to be the maid sweetie:)' i said well i want it to be tidy, you dont want that?' (at this point her face was all red, and she was wearing a vneck so her chest is all red, it was really stupid) 'and then she said 'OK WHENEVER I CLEAN I WILL JUST TEXT YOU THAT I HAVE CLEANED BECAUSE OBVIOUSLY YOU THINK I DONT CLEAN AT ALL' i said 'you dont have to text me if its clean itll be obvious!!look i didn't want it to become all this i just wanted to suggest something that we each have a week to do all this cleaning and shit like that n you said to say something if i dont like something at the start so thats why im saying it and were having this conversation' and then she said 'well honestly its very hard to start a conversation with you okay???"' which left me like '???' because we always chit chatted a little bit, and i was like what shes like 'youre always sighing and shit and i have to tiptoe around you etc' which is hilarious because we stay in our rooms and she does not tiptoe at all and by then she has left the room so i was left with the fact that i live with a person who probably has untreated histrionic personality disorder

[clownykid]

Hi, can you do headcanons for Ming and Jin Lee (Turning Red) as carers?

hi hi !! sorry this took me so long to get to!! ive been very busy and i have quite a bit of difficulty with motivation but i hope this is good!! ^-^

꒰ა MING AND JIN LEE AS CARERS ໒꒱

♡ ming can be very overprotective!! she may seem a bit overbearing at times but this is because she is so full of love and care for you!!

♡ while ming can be a little too much, luckily she always has jin around to help and remind her not to be so stressed all the time

♡ ming always has everything that you might need on her at all times!! no matter what if you need something she has it with her!! band aids, plushies, snacks, drinks, stim toys, and all of your favorite stuff!!

♡ jin loves to play games with you!! he will always get dressed up for whatever story you wanna tell!! and hes really good at making you laugh

♡ ming has a to-do list up always and makes sure youre always taking care of yourself!! she makes sure youre drinking enough water and stands with you while you brush your teeth in case you need help!! and shes always there to tuck you in and read you a story before bed <3

♡ jin is a great cook!! he will make you the nicest meals and snacks you could ever want!! he loves making new things for you to try!! even if youre a picky eater he will never make you feel bad if you cant eat what he makes! he understands and hes happy to make you a safe food and try something different another time

♡ together ming and jin love to take you out to places!! to parks, the movies, the museum, a show, or anywhere that you want to go!! ming is always right beside you making sure you dont walk off too far and jin loves to point out the things he thinks youll like!!

♡ ming and jin are wonderful carers!! they balance eachother out perfectly and they love eachother and you so so much!!

[trainingdummyrabbit]

How do you draw your chibis? No need for an elaborate explanation I'm just. a beginner artist trying to feel around some things

o!! i will be honest, my process isnt exactly very . helpful. its pretty much just circle -> basic head shape -> Draw The Rest Of The Owl(tm) due to my tried and true method of Fuck It We Ball.

but um! some scattered tips are smthn i Can give! though its kinda just what everyone else says. my best one is just kinda... imitate art you like. whether its proper Style Imitations or just Kinda Whatever is up to you, but th point is to practice something and then Do What Feels Fun. and then you can just drop whatever parts Arent fun. and then you keep doing that over and over until it frankensteins itself into something new :] mayb even sprinkle in smthn you just wanna try for funsies. who knows. art styles r like corkboards to me, yknow?

also have fun simplifying shapes. i like... Never enjoy drawing limbs unless theyre vaguely shaped like mlp pony hooves. its always just that but to the left a little. find shortcuts! do something silly! at the end of it all it really is just. Fuck Around Find Out Have Fun. sometimes it doesnt work. turn it into something else. or do it again if you want. what ever ! no rules. <33

theres always the Use Refs Do Studies and like yeah, definitely do that when you wanna push things, but also just like... have fun. do something weird. maybe youll like it. maybe you wont. but therell always be some sort of art :] and thats always good!

also dont delete your old art, youre gonna want to so bad but thats the devil talking ok even if you dont like it even if you can do better, keep it!!!! tuck it away in a file under your bed if you must, but theres nothing quite as nice as looking back and seeing how far youve come, or how the energy changes, or what you focus on-- and that info can be used for fun little stuff too!

tl;dr i cannot express this enough: do what makes you happy and Have Fun!!!! Priority Number 1!!!!!!! good luck, i believe in you!!!!! \o/

[bunnakit]

E and/or X for the fluffy prompts? If i was supposed to send in a pairing too, lets pretend i didnt know, and youll get to choose regardless 😌

FIRSTKANAPHANS FLUFF PROMPTS 🧡

[E]avesdropping To Find Out If They Like You

Tay had only stepped outside for a moment to take a call, he was sure it had lasted no more than five minutes at the most. When he turned to reenter Hum Bar he was stopped short by the sound of a quiet conversation around the corner. It was barely audible through the muffled sound of music and busy voices on the street but he was sure it was two of the guards that had been sent with them tonight. Who were they again? Arm and Paul? Sure, that sounded close enough.

It wasn't that he intended to eavesdrop but Tay had always enjoyed hearing what guards had to say when they thought no one was listening. It was a good way to get information, blackmail material, or just good gossip. He leaned in the dark, blue-lit alley way and listened to their conversation closely to see if there was anything worth gathering there.

"At least he and Khun Time are finally over, for now." He was fairly certain that was Arm, but the relief in his voice was a surprise.

"Not like you're going to do anything about it." The deeper voice was Paul- Pol? Pol, that was it. But what did he mean by that? Tay stiffened slightly, wondering if there was some plan against him he didn't know about. Was he in danger? No, Kinn would never... Well, he would, but he couldn't think of any reason he'd be worth the effort.

"Of course I'm not, I like having all my limbs intact, thanks." Huh?

"I don't think Khun Tay is cruel, you'd probably just get punished by Khun Kinn if it went badly." Tay chanced a glance around the corner and watched Pol stub out a cigarette against the sole of his shoe.

"I'm content enough with where I am, Pol. I know my place." Arm had taken off his glasses and was cleaning them on the bottom of his sweater and Tay was briefly struck by the thought of how handsome he looked. The dim neon lights caught the intensity of his eyes and the sharp planes of his face.

"You mean Khun Tay looking at you like you're gum on the bottom of his shoe? I don't get you but whatever. I think you could at least try taking him out on a date or something."

Oh. Oh. That was definitely interesting. So Arm harbored feelings for him? How naive... And sweet.

"Khun Tay deserves better than me, Pol." Arm rolled his eyes and stepped away from the wall as if he was going to leave, and Tay didn't want to lose to opportunity here.

"Enjoying the evening, gentlemen?" Tay smiled as he rounded the corner, enjoying the way they both stiffened and Arm paled at the sight of him. He always enjoyed the way his heeled boots echoed in the halls of the estate, but he found the sound of them on the slightly damp concrete was equally enjoyable.

"Khun Tay." They each offered a wai and Tay chuckled softly, his eyes turning to Arm where they would stay.

"Our apologies, Khun Tay. We've had a bit too much to drink." Pol laughed nervously, clearly trying to cover the tracks of their conversation.

"Arm hasn't had a single drink all night." Tay pointed out and watched as Arm lifted his eyes, perhaps surprised Tay had noticed anything at all about him. "But that's beside the point. Arm, I'd like you to accompany me to dinner tomorrow night. I'll get it cleared with Kinn."

"Of course, Khun Tay. Is there anything I should know about the event?" Arm immediately asked, all propriety and professionalism.

"There's no event, Arm. Just dinner between us." Tay smiled before turning and retreating back inside Hum Bar. He enjoyed the choked surprise he could hear behind him.

Arm may be 'below his station' but it was clear he had a kind heart and good intentions; things Tay had sorely been lacking in his life.

He was interested to see where this would go.

[syrupspinner]

i just beat Retro City Rampage DX

if grand theft auto was good

im not fucking around. sincerely, i had infinitely more fun with this game that with gta5. first of all, the story: every time a character in gta 5 spoke i liked them less. i care about none of the people the story focuses on, and the poison levels of caustic south park assholery just suck all of the enjoyment out of the serious crime drama. even then, the game feels stuck between being an irreverent self-parody and a serious crime drama. retro city rampage just chooses one thing to be and does it successfully. sure, im not the target demographic of the Ready Player One nerdy 80s references, but i can respect picking a fucking lane. also, unlike gta5, i never felt the need to skip a cutscene! trevor and michael gave me a fucking migrane after a few hours, but RCR just uses silly skits to introduce the next gameplay setpiece. it feels WAY more congruent with the vibe of a chaotic sandbox, its quick its entertaining and it doesnt ruin anything, its fucking congruent.

a lot of this is thanks to the scope of RCR as an indie game. every time gta5 introduced something new, like the stupid app you need to pick up dog poop or that shallow buisness-purchasing mechanic, it just felt like it was a corporate mandate to make the game more "Triple A" whatever that means. since RCR doesnt have the bloated expectations of an industry breathing down its neck, it can just be a video game. like, the driving sections between gta5 missions are drawn out and waste player time for no reason, because the map is soooooo big and cinematic and its really big and graphics cool big gigabyte. RCR just has a city big enough to be a fun sandbox.

gta5 and RCR both use missions to introduce things you can do in the world, but the later's sillier tone lets the missions be more interesting, less grounded, and feel like one mission isnt less relevant than another. when (i had to google his name) franklin starts a story mission with seven minutes of strip club gameplay, im annoyed because i want to get this drive over with so i can see if this next mission is another repetitive shootout. when Player, the actual name of the character in RCR, has to take shifts from the grim reaper for a few minutes to come back from the dead after being killed by his babymama, im on board for the cartoon shenanigans. this is the importance of tone and cohesion, and just plain 'ol gameplay variety

this game like, made me realize why people like gta. theres a lot of fun in just fucking around and cause chaos, but the missions and story mode give you a direction to point the destruction in. i think the biggest thing turning me off from gta was just how... much it was. its like a demanding, greedy child. RCR feels more like its just a buddy that wants to have a good time.

i dunno, im worried im not articulating myself well enough here. maybe im just biased towards indie games? i mean, i definitely am, but i just feel like AAA games are way more likely to preoccupy themselves with things other than making the game more engaging and enjoyable until they collapse under their own weight. meanwhile, RCR has a a reasonable scope, a concise and pointed direction, and more than anything a respect for the player's time and enjoyment.

so yeah, i totally recommend this game! it goes on sale for like, 4 bucks canadian, so its probably even cheaper with real money. if the reference humour isnt your thing theres the gameplay, and youll know if you like the gameplay after >2 hours in the sandbox.

[xelpaz]

brian wakes up to the phone ringing.

he blinks, letting reality settle over him until he figures out what the noise is.

it takes atleast 10 seconds for him to squint and realize that its the phone across the room thats rattling.

brian groans and turns over, pulling the blankets back over his head in an attempt to block out the noise. he does not want to talk to anyone right now. in fact, he very specifically remembers knocking it off the line because the constant calls had been annoying him.

anita must have put it back on when she came to check on him. one frantic visit from roger had been enough. brian blesses and curses her at the same time.

anita is great. she has been nothing but understanding, a fantastic lover and a friend, and he wouldnt exchange her for the world.

but right now, he really wishes she had left the phone hanging down. he brings his hands up to cover his ears. the tone is grating on his already exhausted nerves, all he wants for whoever is calling him to lay off,  to go back to sleep and forget that hes still here.

finally, the ringer goes dead.

he lets out a sigh of relief

it immediately begins to ring again.

brian makes sound of frustration into his sheets. maybe if he squeezes his eyes shut long enough, the incissitent ringing will cease and he can be left alone in his misery in peace.

hes sure it gets louder just to spite him.

he makes it another 15 seconds before he breaks.

"oh for fucks sake-" he rolls and pulls the blankets off and swings his legs over the side of the bed, padding over pick up the reciever.

"what. do you want" he says flatly. hes well aware he sounds bitter but fuck, hes tired. company of any kind from another person is the last thing he wants right now.

even if he kind of needs it. not that he'll ever admit that.

"oh good, youre alive" rogers voice comes out the other end. some far away part of him thinks that he sounds concerned.  brian softens a degree. "are you decent? i'm coming over. we're going out. be there in 10"

"what? roger, no-"

the line goes dead. brian curses again.

he really, really, doesnt want to go out. he hasnt showered in 3 days, 10 minutes isnt nearlt enough time to make himself look presentable if he tried, and the thought of having to interact with another person right now makes his arms itch. he'd nearly strangled the last interviewer as it is.

for half a heartbeat he considers just barricading his front door and going back to bed.

not that thats ever stopped roger taylor from getting what he wants.

he rubs his hands down his face. if he was capable of damning roger, he thinks he'd of done so a long time ago. /still/ he thinks. /theres never been a better time then now/.

theres not enough time for a shower so he settles for the cleanest clothes he can find, a damp washcloth scrubbed hastily over his face, and comb through the end of the worst of his curls. at one point, he makes the mistake of looking at himself in the mirror and grimaces.

he looks and feels like death. the meager scraps of self confidence he had have withered away to near nothing.  whatever roger has planned have better be damn worth it.

hes pouring himself a drink when the doorknob rattles. a moment later, roger is crossing over the threshhold into his kitchen.

"and where are we even going?"  brian asks as he clicks in his seatbelt.

"somewhere."

brian rolls his eyes.

"and what will we be doing?"

"youll see."

"honestly, rog" brian huffs. "if youre going to drag me out of bed /now/ then i think i atleast deserve to know whats going on"

"and you will soon enough." roger doesnt even bother taking his eyes off the road. brian makes a face in his direction, and then turns to watch london pass by.

roger is silent the rest of the drive. it isnt long. within minutes, theyre pulling up in front of a largely unassuming building, save for one thing.

in big letters over the main entrance reads "london psychiatric hospital"

"roger." brian deadpans. "what are we doing here"

"simple. you have an appointment" comes the reply. at last, roger looks at him "i booked you in a few weeks ago"

brian looks at him incredulously. a retort sputters and dies on his tongue. it takes a few tries before he can speak again.

"you what?" he finally manages.

"i booked you in for a therapy appointment. a few, actually. go in and ask for doctor callaghan. dont worry about paying. i did all that already"

brian is looking at roger like hes grown three heads.

"roger." he says at last. "im not going to therapy."

"like hell youre not" he replies flatly. "this is something we should of done for you 20 years ago. youre long overdue for this."

"you cant just-!" brians voice rises up a tick. "i dont need anyone to complain to, i think ive had a very expected reaction to everything going on."

"a normal reaction?" roger hisses. "you think anita finding broken razors in your bathroom is normal? seeing as you wont let me in anymore? you need this, bri. youre not you"

"take me home, roger. im not doing this".

roger swears and kicks under the center console.

"honestly, rog, it isnt that big of a deal so-"

"so what" roger yells, cutting him off. theres fury in his voice. "so you can try to kill yourself again?"

as soon as the words leave his mouth, he deflates. he bangs his head against the steering wheel once, raw frustration. his shoulders are shaking.

"you cant leave me and john alone. not now". this time voice comes out ragged.

brian blinks. theyve all been hurting. he thinks of john, so full of pain that hes retreated where neither of them can reach him. he thinks of cold, empty beds that will never feel truely full again. this has been impossibly hard on all of them, but roger doesnt have an anita or a veronica to fall into. john and brian are the only  hearts he has left.

he is he to rob him of another one?

"okay." he says quietly. "what time will i be done"

roger lets out a breathe he hadnt known he'd been holding.

"two hours, give or take. call me when youre done, i'll take you home. if theres not a phone inside, theres one a block away"

"okay"

he sits for another moment and then leans over and presses a small kiss to rogers cheek. this close, he can see rogers eyes flutter close behind his sunglasses.

without another word, he slides out of the car and walks up to the front door.

roger slides a thumb over the place where brians lips touched,  and watches him go inside.

[p1f1]

as much as i love commentary videos (i can watch those and video essays non stop for hours), theres a genuine sickness in my stomach when theyre reacting to someone whos being sexist or misogynistic.

ramble below the line, but please check out the ending part.

idk what makes me feel this way, the borderline ridiculous stuff that comes out of their mouth or the fact someone can be so stupid that they say this in todays day and age. and i get that for how modern it is some people still agree with these stupid comments and speeches but there will always be at least a handful of people who agree with whatever.

and yes i do feel this way with any type of discrimination, but it sickens me when i hear about how badly some women, as myself, hate being one. its unfair. sure itll always be that way and "life isnt fair" but still, its just crazy. if youre someone who sees a woman whos complaining about hating being a woman (not because they dont feel comfy in their own body ((or want to be a different gender)), but because they hate how theyre being treated. ), and for some reason thinks theyre being ridiculous, please dont interact with me lmao.

its sad how i feel afraid to walk alone at night or be in a car alone. or go on dates, or talk about this to anyone, or go swimming , or go out in general. nobody, i mean nobody, should have to feel afraid to be out in the world, because thats wrong. especially with todays messed up beauty standards. im not exactly skinny, but at least im trying to change myself. it hurts alot when someone points something you hate about yourself and acts like you dont know. its sad how no matter how pretty or skinny you are youll never be good enough. i hate it. people arent perfect. nobody is. nobody ever will be because thats how humans are.

i have had encounters with sexists. just as any person would. and when someone makes fun of you or mocks you with the reason youre a woman, it doesnt make you feel smart, and its not easy to not let them get to you. genders, races, and sexualities will never be equal to the public. women will always be under men. gay people will always be hated. non white people will always be treated and seen differently. and in my eyes, everyones equal and always will be but me or you will never be able to change someones mind.

and ngl, i used to say i hated men as a joke, but i dont think its much of a joke anymore. younger me would call me weird for hating being a woman but im so glad i wasnt exposed to how gross the world could be sometimes.

this is a rant, but also a reminder. if you are sexist, misogynistic, racist, transphobic, or just a bigot get off of my blog.

im not the best a wording things so, if you think that i see anyone thats not white or gay differently, i promise you youre wrong. im not racist, homophobic, or any of that. this is just much better than me crying to myself about how much i hate humans sometimes.

.

.

.

also, if youre like me, and think nobodys there for you, or talking about your problems wont help, it will. i had a small talk with a friend and even though it was only a few texts and sentences, i really felt touched. i only talked about my family problems very vaguely. it was a stupid video. 'if you had one wish, what would it be?" i answered something like i wish i could change the way my family sees me and his one word response of "why?" made me so emotional.

friends and friends. people you talk to on a regular basis and people you know want to talk with you are friends, even if you dont think so.

my DM's are always open. even if this only reaches a few or onyl a few see it, you can always dm me on this acc or my other. hell i might not even know your name but just know that i care about you so deeply. i would never want someone as amazing as you to feel down or angry.

so please, if you think that talking about your problems wont help, try it before you say that. it can change decisions you make in the future that youll regret. again, my dm's are open always if youre struggling. i care.

.

.

.

[bobacupcake]

Please help me. The Wizard Police are after me. I am a simple man, er wizard. I'm femme coded and delicious and thus break many wizard laws by existing. I have potions that have powers beyond your imagination. Your small small imagination. You should read and draw more so your brain will grow and you can understand my powers. This potion in my hand is purple and swirly. Its smells delicious, doesn't it? You want to drink it don't you? I know you do. Stop staring at my chest. My eyes are up here! *Points at the tip of my hat*. FOCUS! This potion is so important and you must STOP SNIFFING ME. Yes um drink the potion. Oh you don't want to? What if I put a silly straw in the bottle, will you drink it now? WHAT WAS THAT?? *Wizard Sirens in the distance* I have to go. You must hide me. What is your credit card number? Don't say the numbers out loud! You'll summon the interdimensional Identity theifs!!! Write it down! On my hand! Oh that tickles!! Stop it at once. Your hand writing is shit. Whatever youll have to just come with me. *covers you in the potion and you turn into a small creature*. Now I'm going to place you in this bag. Never mind why theres so much broken glass in there!! Stop eating it! Stop eating it! Stop it!! I hate you. *Shakes the bag really hard* stop enjoying this! *Sirens get closer* we have to go now!! *Does a little break dance and disappears into another plane* oh God we're 2d! Stop turning to the side and looking like a flat line! This isn't funny. Now, what is your mother's maiden name. What do you mean you don't have a mom. Everyone in the universe is assigned six mom's when they're created. What is a dad? A boy mom? I don't understand what you're saying. How are you able to make your teeth jiggle around like that? That is ungodly. Your teeth should be placed firmly in your gums! I don't care what Chinese deer can do. *coughs up blood in a gay sexy way* oh I forgot to mention I have tuberculosis. Yes it's serious. No Im not going to the doctor. We have to get out of this plane. Hmm I have one more spell I can cast that will allow one of us to get back into the 3d world. I will send you back and you must get help from my hot wizard girl husband. What do you mean wife? What is that? They're my girl husband! You don't say things that make sense. *Riffles through bag* I need to find My bang energy drink so I can power up before I do my teleportation beam. Why is the can empty. Why do you mean you drank it? Why would you drink someone else's energy drink! It gives me my wizard power! That's it, I've had enough. *pulls out revolver from the bag* this is goodbye to you. BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG good gracious they were blanks! I hate you I hate you I hate you!! *Throws you on the ground and you make a loud thud* why do you sound like you're full of milk? Webkinz cat? What does that mean? Who is rainbow dash and why was she in a jar? THEY DID WHAT TO HER? I can't do this anymore. *Loud bang* WIZARD POLICE PUT YOUR ARMS UP!!

NEVER! *Throws you at the police*

*I'm shot four thousand times by a thousand different wizard beams* I die instantly

[evilscientist3]

Please help me. The Wizard Police are after me. I am a simple man, er wizard. I'm femme coded and delicious and thus break many wizard laws by existing. I have potions that have powers beyond your imagination. Your small small imagination. You should read and draw more so your brain will grow and you can understand my powers. This potion in my hand is purple and swirly. Its smells delicious, doesn't it? You want to drink it don't you? I know you do. Stop staring at my chest. My eyes are up here! *Points at the tip of my hat*. FOCUS! This potion is so important and you must STOP SNIFFING ME. Yes um drink the potion. Oh you don't want to? What if I put a silly straw in the bottle, will you drink it now? WHAT WAS THAT?? *Wizard Sirens in the distance* I have to go. You must hide me. What is your credit card number? Don't say the numbers out loud! You'll summon the interdimensional Identity theifs!!! Write it down! On my hand! Oh that tickles!! Stop it at once. Your hand writing is shit. Whatever youll have to just come with me. *covers you in the potion and you turn into a small creature*. Now I'm going to place you in this bag. Never mind why theres so much broken glass in there!! Stop eating it! Stop eating it! Stop it!! I hate you. *Shakes the bag really hard* stop enjoying this! *Sirens get closer* we have to go now!! *Does a little break dance and disappears into another plane* oh God we're 2d! Stop turning to the side and looking like a flat line! This isn't funny. Now, what is your mother's maiden name. What do you mean you don't have a mom. Everyone in the universe is assigned six mom's when they're created. What is a dad? A boy mom? I don't understand what you're saying. How are you able to make your teeth jiggle around like that? That is ungodly. Your teeth should be placed firmly in your gums! I don't care what Chinese deer can do. *coughs up blood in a gay sexy way* oh I forgot to mention I have tuberculosis. Yes it's serious. No Im not going to the doctor. We have to get out of this plane. Hmm I have one more spell I can cast that will allow one of us to get back into the 3d world. I will send you back and you must get help from my hot wizard girl husband. What do you mean wife? What is that? They're my girl husband! You don't say things that make sense. *Riffles through bag* I need to find My bang energy drink so I can power up before I do my teleportation beam. Why is the can empty. Why do you mean you drank it? Why would you drink someone else's energy drink! It gives me my wizard power! That's it, I've had enough. *pulls out revolver from the bag* this is goodbye to you. BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG good gracious they were blanks! I hate you I hate you I hate you!! *Throws you on the ground and you make a loud thud* why do you sound like you're full of milk? Webkinz cat? What does that mean? Who is rainbow dash and why was she in a jar? THEY DID WHAT TO HER? I can't do this anymore. *Loud bang* WIZARD POLICE PUT YOUR ARMS UP!!

NEVER! *Throws you at the police*

*I'm shot four thousand times by a thousand different wizard beams* I die instantly

This reads like a transcript of the most niche ASMR video ever made. Thank you for sharing this experience with us

[c-u-r-s-e-d-i-m-a-g-e-s]

Please help me. The Wizard Police are after me. I am a simple man, er wizard. I'm femme coded and delicious and thus break many wizard laws by existing. I have potions that have powers beyond your imagination. Your small small imagination. You should read and draw more so your brain will grow and you can understand my powers. This potion in my hand is purple and swirly. Its smells delicious, doesn't it? You want to drink it don't you? I know you do. Stop staring at my chest. My eyes are up here! *Points at the tip of my hat*. FOCUS! This potion is so important and you must STOP SNIFFING ME. Yes um drink the potion. Oh you don't want to? What if I put a silly straw in the bottle, will you drink it now? WHAT WAS THAT?? *Wizard Sirens in the distance* I have to go. You must hide me. What is your credit card number? Don't say the numbers out loud! You'll summon the interdimensional Identity theifs!!! Write it down! On my hand! Oh that tickles!! Stop it at once. Your hand writing is shit. Whatever youll have to just come with me. *covers you in the potion and you turn into a small creature*. Now I'm going to place you in this bag. Never mind why theres so much broken glass in there!! Stop eating it! Stop eating it! Stop it!! I hate you. *Shakes the bag really hard* stop enjoying this! *Sirens get closer* we have to go now!! *Does a little break dance and disappears into another plane* oh God we're 2d! Stop turning to the side and looking like a flat line! This isn't funny. Now, what is your mother's maiden name. What do you mean you don't have a mom. Everyone in the universe is assigned six mom's when they're created. What is a dad? A boy mom? I don't understand what you're saying. How are you able to make your teeth jiggle around like that? That is ungodly. Your teeth should be placed firmly in your gums! I don't care what Chinese deer can do. *coughs up blood in a gay sexy way* oh I forgot to mention I have tuberculosis. Yes it's serious. No Im not going to the doctor. We have to get out of this plane. Hmm I have one more spell I can cast that will allow one of us to get back into the 3d world. I will send you back and you must get help from my hot wizard girl husband. What do you mean wife? What is that? They're my girl husband! You don't say things that make sense. *Riffles through bag* I need to find My bang energy drink so I can power up before I do my teleportation beam. Why is the can empty. Why do you mean you drank it? Why would you drink someone else's energy drink! It gives me my wizard power! That's it, I've had enough. *pulls out revolver from the bag* this is goodbye to you. BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG good gracious they were blanks! I hate you I hate you I hate you!! *Throws you on the ground and you make a loud thud* why do you sound like you're full of milk? Webkinz cat? What does that mean? Who is rainbow dash and why was she in a jar? THEY DID WHAT TO HER? I can't do this anymore. *Loud bang* WIZARD POLICE PUT YOUR ARMS UP!!

NEVER! *Throws you at the police*

*I'm shot four thousand times by a thousand different wizard beams* I die instantly

.

[chongoblog]

Please help me. The Wizard Police are after me. I am a simple man, er wizard. I'm femme coded and delicious and thus break many wizard laws by existing. I have potions that have powers beyond your imagination. Your small small imagination. You should read and draw more so your brain will grow and you can understand my powers. This potion in my hand is purple and swirly. Its smells delicious, doesn't it? You want to drink it don't you? I know you do. Stop staring at my chest. My eyes are up here! *Points at the tip of my hat*. FOCUS! This potion is so important and you must STOP SNIFFING ME. Yes um drink the potion. Oh you don't want to? What if I put a silly straw in the bottle, will you drink it now? WHAT WAS THAT?? *Wizard Sirens in the distance* I have to go. You must hide me. What is your credit card number? Don't say the numbers out loud! You'll summon the interdimensional Identity theifs!!! Write it down! On my hand! Oh that tickles!! Stop it at once. Your hand writing is shit. Whatever youll have to just come with me. *covers you in the potion and you turn into a small creature*. Now I'm going to place you in this bag. Never mind why theres so much broken glass in there!! Stop eating it! Stop eating it! Stop it!! I hate you. *Shakes the bag really hard* stop enjoying this! *Sirens get closer* we have to go now!! *Does a little break dance and disappears into another plane* oh God we're 2d! Stop turning to the side and looking like a flat line! This isn't funny. Now, what is your mother's maiden name. What do you mean you don't have a mom. Everyone in the universe is assigned six mom's when they're created. What is a dad? A boy mom? I don't understand what you're saying. How are you able to make your teeth jiggle around like that? That is ungodly. Your teeth should be placed firmly in your gums! I don't care what Chinese deer can do. *coughs up blood in a gay sexy way* oh I forgot to mention I have tuberculosis. Yes it's serious. No Im not going to the doctor. We have to get out of this plane. Hmm I have one more spell I can cast that will allow one of us to get back into the 3d world. I will send you back and you must get help from my hot wizard girl husband. What do you mean wife? What is that? They're my girl husband! You don't say things that make sense. *Riffles through bag* I need to find My bang energy drink so I can power up before I do my teleportation beam. Why is the can empty. Why do you mean you drank it? Why would you drink someone else's energy drink! It gives me my wizard power! That's it, I've had enough. *pulls out revolver from the bag* this is goodbye to you. BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG good gracious they were blanks! I hate you I hate you I hate you!! *Throws you on the ground and you make a loud thud* why do you sound like you're full of milk? Webkinz cat? What does that mean? Who is rainbow dash and why was she in a jar? THEY DID WHAT TO HER? I can't do this anymore. *Loud bang* WIZARD POLICE PUT YOUR ARMS UP!!

NEVER! *Throws you at the police*

*I'm shot four thousand times by a thousand different wizard beams* I die instantly

incredibly neat heres a picture